The Best One Yet - 👙🥕 “I wear… Aldidas” — Aldi’ grocery merch. Binance’s crypto brazenness. Subscription cancellation aggravation.

Episode Date: March 29, 2023

The biggest crypto exchange in the world, Binance, has been sued by Federal regulators — we wish Crypto leaders would listen to Uncle Ben. The fastest-growing grocery store chain in America? It’s Aldi. But Aldi just launched something you can’t eat… Aldi Fashion. And if you’ve ever struggled to cancel a subscription, then we’ve got a story for you: Subscription Cancellation Aggravation is about to face justice.$BTC $ETH $WMTFollow The Best One Yet on Instagram, Twitter, and Tiktok: @tboypodAnd now watch us on YoutubeWant a Shoutout on the pod? Fill out this formGot the Best Fact Yet? We got a form for that tooLearn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is Nick. This is Jack. It's Wednesday, March 29th, and today's pod is the best one yet. It's just such a tea boy today, Jack. I'm really pumped for this show. First story, what do we got? If you have ever struggled to cancel a subscription that we've got the story for you. We've got the story for you because there is a new law that's about to end, subscription, cancellation, aggravation.

Just let me cancel my subscription, please. Representative, second story. For our second story, the world's biggest crypto exchange, Binance, just caused Bitcoin to fall by 5%. Because the crypto industry is disappointing Uncle Ben. And our third and final story, the fastest growing grocery store chain in America is Aldi. But Aldi is launching a new thing that you can't eat. It's called fashion, honey. Grocery store, fashion line.

Fashion week, aisle six. But before we hit that wonderful mix, Nick. Honestly, a fantastic mix today, Jack. If you are flying on an airplane anytime soon, quick heads up for you. There is a new airplane confiscation. Take your shoes off, remove your laptop, and ensure your pockets are all empty. Sir, step away from that peanut butter. That's right.

The TSA just said that peanut butter jars can no longer pass through security. Yeties, your average jar of peanut butter just got banished from airplanes. Diffy or Skippies, Justin's or Peter Pan. Kirkland brand. That just got kicked out of JetBlue. Nothing you can do about it. If that peanut has been buttered, then it's now being bad. Jack, this is the biggest blow to peanut butter since almond butter. And don't laugh, Nutella, because you're next. Now, yeties, we all know what the TSA policy is when it is the stuff.

No liquids, no gels, no aerosols. Yeah, and all fluids must be under 3.4 ounces. That bottle better be empty. Sir, you're going to have to pound that before we let you through here. So why did TSA suddenly decide to go? go after peanut butter. Jack, why did TSA suddenly turn their anger toward that which has been buttered? The reason is physics.

TSA claims that peanut butter is actually a liquid. They claim peanut butter is a liquid. In fact, Homeland Security whipped out the scientific definition of liquid and what is it, Jack? That which takes the shape dictated by its container. Bessies, if you can spill it or you can spray it or you can spread it, then TSA, they got a problem with it. But if peanut butter's banned, that opens up a whole bunch of new questions. Jack, I'm so glad you brought it up. Is yogurt a liquid? Is hair gel a liquid? What about chocolate moose?

Nick, what about my waistline? It takes the shape dictated by its container, my belt. Is my gut not a liquid? Your gut is a liquid by this definition. Daddy's, the next time you buy a jar of souvenir of skippies, put it on your bread ASAP. Because the TSA didn't say anything about sandwiches. And the sandwich is the most delicious container there is. That which dictates its shape by its form in between two pieces of bread. Hey, Skippy, let's hit our three stories.

Fifteen years before this song, two boys from the Northeast met in the dorm. They had an idea to cause a cultural storm. It's the 50% that's a fat tip. Tea Boy City on your at list. If you know, you know, because we're ready to go. We can't wait no more. So just start the show. Start the show.

For our first story, the most frustrating part of the digital economy. It's when you can't cancel a subscription. So the FTC has a new rule to end subscription cancellation aggravation. Subscription cancellation aggravation. Yetis, we have all experienced the Hotel California situation with subscriptions, haven't we, Jack? Sure. You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave. Yiddies, you've been there.

You sign up for a free trial, and then you get that lovely box of subscription deodorant that shows up at your apartment. A year later, you decide to switch. So you click to unsubscribe from the subscription. Okay, all right, it seems easy. Then what happened? It says, hey, sure. Just enter your email right here and we'll let you go.

Oh, wait. We're going to offer you 50% off to stay, actually. Please, please, please stay. Okay, so then you click continue. You try to bypass that. It redirects you to a new page. It won't load. It makes you call a 1-800 number.

Next thing you know, boom, you've got hold music. You've reached us during our off-business hours. Please call again between 10 a.m. and 2 p.m. Representative, Yeties, that is subscription aggravation. And how do we define it? The sign-up is so simple, but canceling is so complex. Jack, it's actually a very strategic product design, focused on adding friction, not removing friction.

That we all as consumers hate. And Jack, who are the clinging culprits who are so guilty of the subscription aggravation that they hoist upon us? Jims do this, print magazines do this, and cosmetics do this. Which leads to the news. Yeti's the Federal Trade Commission, the old FTC, has a proposal to make breaking up easier with your subscription provider. They call this new proposal, click to cancel.

And here's the proposed FTC rule. It's actually pretty straightforward. Cancellation must be as easy as the sign up. That's it. So if you signed up online and it was easy, you must be able to cancel online and that must be easy too. Yeah, no phone call. Oh, no more hold music.

No more whole music. And here's another provision of the rule. If you say no, that means no. Like, they can't pummel you with desperate counteroffers to get you to stay by offering like, you know, 400% off for the next six years. They can't force you to say no like six times before finally getting the picture. No, nine, neaked, not happening. Lastly, subscription companies will have to warn you if an annual subscription re-up is about to happen.

Yes, Jack, because a monthly subscription, you like remember that. But the annual subscription, that totally sneaks up on you. They have to give you a chance to cancel before you have another year of deodorant that you don't want. And we know what you're wondering yet. He's, how is the FTC going to enforce a policy like this when so many companies are doing subscriptions? The logical way with fines. Yeah, the money talks. And these fines happen to be some of the biggest fines we've ever seen. The FTC's proposed rule would fine violators $50,000. per violation per day. Ipso facto, Jack, let's say you've got 100,000 subscribers at your company and all of them

report this issue on one day. How much is that going to cost you? It's going to knock out your company. How much? A $5 billion fine in that scenario. That is more than one lift. Yeties, the FTC has voted three to one to move this proposal forward. So, Jack, what's the next step?

Now it's open to public feedback. In the meantime, let's hit our takeaway. So, Jack, what's the takeaway for our buddies who are all of us, consumer? is in every company that does a subscription product. In the digital age, hell hath no fury, like an angry ex-customer. Okay, Jack and I can, like, picture what the companies are thinking here. They're like, hey, this guy's trying to leave. Why make it easy for them?

Let's squeeze another payment out of them. Who cares if they get angry? They're gone anyway. But financially, it's not going to work out. That's the short-term mindset and a long-term mistake. That mistake underestimates the power of word-of-mouth hate from that one individual that's angry. That mistake underestimates the impact of bad reviews from that ex-customer.

The marginal benefit of making cancellation hard is one more month of subscription revenue. But the marginal cost is potentially multiple new customers. Because in the digital age, hell hath no fury like an angry ex-customer. For our second story, the world's largest crypto exchange was just sued for ignoring some pretty fundamental U.S. laws. What the crypto industry needs right now, Nick, it's not a superhero. What the crypto industry needs is Uncle Ben. Ethereum needs Uncle Ben. Yet he's last week, federal regulators charged a very specific individual for their role in a crypto scheme. And who was that, Jack? Lindsay Lohan. Yeah, Lindsay Lohan got hit by some allegations of being in a crypto scheme. It was dramatic.

This week, federal regulators are going after the biggest crypto exchange there is. Which is Binance. Yet he's Earth's largest crypto exchange, Binance, actually has no specific headquarters anywhere on the planet. It's pretty decentralized. But U.S. regulators just through accusations at Binance that were so bad, it caused the price of Bitcoin to fall. Okay, get these allegations. They were so bad that federal regulators didn't just sue Binance. They want to permanently ban the world's largest crypto exchange from operating in the United States. Binance. Haven't we heard that name before? We have heard the name of Binance. before. Yes, we have Jack.

Binance was going to acquire FTCS but then didn't, so FTCS won bankrupt. And now Binance is the number one crypto platform in the world run by a man who goes by his initials, CZ. And this latest lawsuit makes CZ sound just like Sam Bankman-Fried, the other initial guy. Yes, it does, Jack. So yet he's here are a few of these specific complaints about the founder of Binance and the allegations against Binance. The CFTC alleges that. Bynance empowered terrorists with money laundering and payment services. Doesn't sound like a good thing.

Specifically, Hamas, the Iranian-backed group that has been labeled as terrorists by the United States. Accusation number two. Binance allegedly kept a VIP list of very shady customers. Okay, a VIP list? What did this actually look like? Jack, sounds kind of fun. If law enforcement asked Bynance about those shady customers, Binance would ping the VIPs and give them a heads up that the cost. Topps were looking for them. Now, that is some serious VIP treatment, man.

You want another accusation? Hit me, Jack. What do we got? Binance encouraged its U.S. customers to use a VPN, to hide their online activity so regulators couldn't see what they were doing. Oh, and that's not all. Then the executives of Binance would use an app that auto deleted their messages after 24 hours so they couldn't be tracked either.

And if you've ever worked at a bank, you know that they really, like, wouldn't like that at all. Yeah, full disclosure, this is Nick. This is Jack. We used to work at a bank. and this would not have been cool to bank, man. Banks are actually the front line of defense in the fight against terrorism because terrorists need money. Instead, it looks like Binance was happy to look the other way.

In fact, it sounds like Binance looked the bad guys right in the eye. Yeah, in fact, it looks like Binance kind of enjoyed doing all this. If true, huge. So, Jack, what's the takeaway for our buddies over in crypto? As Uncle Ben said to Spider-Man, with great power comes great responsibility. Look, Yetis, Jack and I are both excited about the possibility of Bitcoin and other serious cryptocurrencies. We're both invested in Bitcoin and other serious cryptocurrencies. But man, are these leaders of crypto awful?

I mean, Jack, the head of the number three crypto platform, Sam Bankman-Fried, he's a giant fraudster. And the head of the number one crypto platform, CZ, is allegedly the banker of terrorists. Bestie's uncle Ben once told Peter Parker, aka Spider-Man, with great power, comes great response. But the leaders of crypto have wielded their great power with tremendous irresponsibility. And honestly, that's set the crypto industry back. It has hurt the crypto brand and it just dropped the price of Bitcoin a few percent. The way Nick and I see it, crypto doesn't need a superhero. It just needs an Uncle Ben. And now a word from our sponsor, Robin Hood. The beauty of American finance, it's that your money works for you.

If you have cash sitting in an account, the financial institution should pay you for it. Yeah, but not all due. Like some accounts won't pay you anything for your cash. Robin Hood will pay you for your uninvested cash. In fact, with Robin Hood Gold, your money will work hard for you, generating 4.15% APY, one of the highest rates. For $5 a month, Robin Hood Gold sets no limit on how much cash you can put in, and you can invest or draw anytime. Terms apply. To get started, go to robin hood.com slash T-boy and get your first free stock.

That's robinood.com slash TBOI. Certain limitations apply. Rate is subject to change. All investments involve risk. Robin Hood Financial LLC, member SIPC, Robinhood is not a bank. For our third and final story, America's most popular new grocery chain, it's Aldi. Aldi. Aldi.

So Aldi is pivoting from food to fashion, from groceries to galoshes. It gets me every time, Jack. Now yet he's... From celery to sandals. Oh, before we jump into this story, Jack. Hey, Safeway, you're not so safe. Hey, Costco, be careful. Hey, Wawa, you better watch out.

Because the fastest growing grocery store in the United States by new stores is not those three cult classics. Jack, who is it, man? It's Aldi. Aldi is now the third biggest grocer in the United States after Walmart and after Kroger. 2,270 U.S. locations. Boom, this company, they are punishing publics. Born in Germany, Aldi is expanding across the United States like, Hasselhoff. Hey, Jack, why is this German grocery store so suddenly beloved in the United States?

Ruthless German efficiency. Yeah, because Yetis, all these value proposition happens to be Germany's top skill and top export. Frugality. Or as the Germans call it, Deutsche Sparsam Kite. Yeah, exactly. Just like Jack said, Deutsche Gazuntite. Now, Yeties, Aldi keeps prices low by eliminating all the joy and service that comes from a traditional grocery chain. My hometown Brattleboro has one and I went there. Here's the experience I experienced. Okay, so Jack, let's say you want lettuce? Go get it yourself.

Let's say you want someone to bag the bananas for you? This isn't a spa. Do it yourself. Jack, can you share what our personal favorite is? If you want a shopping cart at Aldi's, you must insert a quarter to unlock the shopping cart. And then you only get that quarter back when you return the cart in the stall area. Deutsche Sparsam Kite.

That combo of lowest price and convenient location, that's what's made Aldi the fastest growing grocery chain in America. Yeah, customers don't hate it. They actually kind of love it. But here's the real surprise yet. He said, this is what Jack and I found fascinating about this story. This Uber efficient German grocery chain is now pivoting from food to fashion. Here's the news. Aldi just dropped an Aldi branded apparel line. We're not just talking about like just some clothes that they're selling. This is a literal athleisure line from a grocery store. Aldi is selling Aldi branded pullovers, track suits, joggers, hats, and sandals.

Forget Adidas, this is Aldi Das. This is Aldi Das. All of that merch is featuring the signature Aldi, blue, yellow, and red colors all across it. You walk into the store for a wild mound, you walk out with a windbreaker. Oh, and Jack, you know how we've said pricing is a signal? Every Aldi merch item is priced under $10 to align with the brand's frugality value. proposition. And to align with the brand's value proposition, you basically have to sew the buttons in yourself. Like we said, this isn't a spa. It's Aldi. And this merch has already sold out.

The Aldi sandals, they're selling on eBay now for five times the sticker price. So Jack, what's the takeaway for our buddies over at Aldi? Merch is the new moat. Now, yet is Jack and I've noticed a trend here, a trend in commodity industries. And that trend is merch. In commodity industries, if every company sell similar stuff, it's hard to win loyalty from customers. But apparel, thoughtful, curated fashion-focused quality apparel, that actually proves something. It gives customers a chance to commit and show their love for the brand. So the way Jack and I see it, merch is the test that proves you don't just have customers,

you actually have fans. And that's key, because fans are loyal, while customers are fleeting. Besties Aldi is pulling off fashion. Price Chopper can't. Because merch, is the new moat. Jack, can you whip up the takeaways for us over there? The FTC's new rule would hopefully end subscription, cancellation, aggravation.

And in the digital age, hell hath no fury like an angry ex-customer. For our second story, Binance was just sued by the CFTC for ignoring all sorts of of U.S. laws. So we wish crypto leaders would listen to Uncle Bennett. And our third and final story is Aldi. Aldi is America's fastest growing grocery chain and just dropped a merch list. Because merch is the new moat. Now time for the best fact yet, this one sent in by legendary Yeti, Tomas Baggio, from the north shore of Oahu, Hawaii.

Last week, we did that story about pineapples, specifically dull pineapples. And Jack and I got more submissions for facts about pineapples than we have for any other question we've ever asked. It was a provocative subject. Pineapples, they can provoke you. Well, Tomas lives next to that dull pineapple farm in Hawaii. Yes, he does. And he just told us that, in fact, one third of the world's pineapples are actually produced in Hawaii. He also told us that pineapples can regenerate.

Yeah, like if you plant a pineapple leaf in the ground, you will grow a new pineapple. You want one more tidbit from Tomas? Jack, what else we got, man? Whip it up? Pineapples ripen best if upside down. We know what you're thinking. What about all those spikes? Yeah, it doesn't stand well upside down. Well, Tomas didn't give us an answer for that one, but,

still, it'll ripen faster. He should patent the first ever pineapple ripener thing of a jig. Tomas, you give us the facts, we give you the business ideas. Yiddies, you look fantastic today. And while you're scarfing down that jar of peanut butter before you go through that checkpoint,

turn to the TSA agent next to you and say, HYH, TBOI. The key is to eat the peanut butter with your paw like a berryed honey out of a jar. Have you had the best one yet? That's how we grow the pot. Keep it sticky.

We'll see you tomorrow. And before we go, Jack and I got a shout out for a Yeti here. Mrs. Roland in Salt Lake City just verified that Yeti Dean Ganoe is the best reader in his first grade class. C-O-R-R-E-C-T. That's correct. And Nico Cardenas has a new son named Linole, who is named after Lino Messi, the soccer player, not too shabby, Nico. Congratulations to Aunt Teresa, who's retiring down in Texas. And Taylor Lemke, enjoy that. new job over in Austin, Texas. Congratulations to Tinsel Carl, who's got a new job in Plantation, Florida.

And Mitchell Walter has got a birthday and getting his CPA in Vancouver, Canada. Happy 40th birthday to Lizette Ortiz in El Paso, Texas. And a happy sweet 16 to Camilla Nieto in Hamilton, Ohio. Huge happy birthday to Maximilian Rainey of Shaq 15 from England, but now in San Francisco. And Lisa Jones and Aiken, South Carolina, enjoy that. at birthday celebration. Happy birthday to Jared Triple J.J. James, whose birthday is down in Bentonville, Arkansas. JJ, J.J., J.J., J.J., J.J., J., J., J., J., J., J., J., J., J.J., J., J.J. J.J. This is Jack. Nick and I both owned stock of Robinhood, and we both own some Bitcoin and Ethereum.

A Bitcoin named Ben. And now, a word from our sponsor, Robin Hood. The pizza from that new spot down the street, it's twice as good as the old spot. But the pizza in Tokyo was three times as good as pizza in the U.S. right, Nick? It really was. Now, Jack, it is hard for something to be four times as good as something else, though. What about 18 times as good? Okay, Robin Hood now offers 4.15% APY on your uninvested cash with Robin Hood Gold. For $5 a month, Robin of Gold will offer you interest that is 18 times the national savings account average. That's according to bank rate as of January 25th, 2023. No pizza is 18 times better than other pizza,

but this account is 18 times better. Terms apply. To get started, go to Robinhood.com slash T-Boy and get your first stock for free. That's robin hood.com slash T-B-O-Y. Certain limitations apply. Rate is subject to change. All investments involve risk. Robin Hood Financial LLC, member SIPC, Robinhood is not a bank.

If true, huge.