The Best One Yet - ✊ “Make Insta Insta Again” — Kardashian’s Facebook protest. Glossier’s Sephora-man. Russia’s economic lie.

Episode Date: July 27, 2022

We’re witnessing the most existential zucking of our time: Instagram is copying TikTok (and the Kardashians are really unhappy about it). For years, the only way to get Glossier’s lip gloss was at Glossier, until now — Glossier is coming to Sephora’s 2K stores. And Russia’s economy seems to be doing okay since the war started… except Russia’s economy is 1 big lie. $META $LVMUYFollow The Best One Yet on Instagram, Twitter, and Tiktok: @tboypod\And now watch us on YoutubeWant a Shoutout on the pod? Fill out this formGot the Best Fact Yet? We got a form for that tooLearn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is Nick. This is Jack. It's Wednesday, July 27th, and today's pot is the best one yet. TVO-L-I. By the way, where's the comments about our haircuts? I know what you're thinking, Jack. We got haircuts on the same day. Total accident.

No one noticed. You look great. I look pretty good. You kind of got a comb over fade away. I love the look, man. That's why today's pod's the best one yet? Jack, whip out that crimping eye and what's our first story? We are witnessing the most existential zucking of our time.

Instagram is zucking TikTok. And that's why two Kardashians. are saying make Instagram Instagram again. For our second story, we're five months into the war in Ukraine. Russia's economy seems to be doing okay. Except Russia's economy is one huge lie. Our third and final story, if you want some Glossier lip gloss, it's always been exclusively for sale at glossier.com.

Until now, because Glossier just 100% changed their mind. They pulled a 180. Sephora has entered the chat. But before we hit that wonderful, This is a really good mix today, Jack. Bicaboo! Oh, aren't you just the cutest one? Who's a sweet little T-born?

Yetis last week, Jack and I told you about the fake language of Game of Thrones. This week, we're talking about the very real language of parents. Because besties, do you speak parentees? Parentees, the language of adults speaking to babies. It's an odd-sounding language. It is an odd-sounding language. The New York Times, they jumped in T-boy style. Apparently, Parentease isn't an American thing, a Western thing, or even an English language thing.

Parentease is a universal language. Get this. They studied 1600 voices in 18 languages talking to toddlers. From Toronto to Tanzania, from city babies to shanty babies. And here are the results. All human beings apparently use a sing-songy voice when they're talking to baby Timmy. It's not just us. Everyone hits a new vocal pitch when you're a new vocal pitch, when they're exchanging with newborns. Apparently, kuchy koo is cross-cultural. Baby talk transcends borders.

And we know what you're thinking? Yeah, it's true. We all sound absolutely ridiculous doing it. Did you do something stinky? But here's the thing, it's an evolutionary asset. Whose toes are these? So besties, if you're gonna say it and you're gonna say it like this, butch-b-b-b-du-b-b-d-d-b-d-d-d-b-b-b-you.

You're not fluent in parent-teets. You're speaking human beings. Let's-c-r-r- our three stories. years before this song. Two boys from the Northeast met in the dawn. They had an idea to cause a cultural storm. It's the best one you diss. 50%.

That's a fat tip. Tea boy city on your at list. If you know, you know, because we're ready to go. We can't wait no more. So just start the show. Start the show. For our first story, Facebook wishes they were talking about earnings today. But instead, they're talking about the Kardashians.

Because Facebook has lost its religion. Meta. Meta. Meta Meta, the artist formerly known as Facebook, announces earnings after the markets close later today. But Jack and I want to get a head start. Well, Meta is going to try to distract us this afternoon by announcing some investments in the Metaverse. They're going to go full David Blaine on us. But a little secret about Meta's Metaverse, the Metaverse is 10 years away.

It is. So instead, what's Facebook going to do later today, Jack? They're going to have to admit that revenues right now grew at their slowest rate in X number of years. And they're probably going to announce their second. ever shrinkage of users. But the real story about Facebook is its existential crisis right now. More specifically, the real story about Facebook right now is Kylie Jenner. The last time we covered Zuck, it was about Instagram's recommended posts.

Exactly, Jack. Like instead of picks from your friends that they posted on the Amalfi Coast, Instagram is showing you reels of some random dude on a skateboard. We've all seen it. It doesn't matter who you follow anymore. Instagram is trying to look like TikTok. Which is why Kylie Jenner ripped into Instagram this week. Kylie Jenner is not happy that her 360 million followers are seeing fewer of the picks that you posts because Instagram is zucking TikTok.

So Kylie Jenner went full protest mode and shared this story on Instagram. The story said make Instagram Instagram, I guess. Oh, and Kylie's half sister, Kim, she seconded the motion. drop, Jack. She said, stop trying to be TikTok Instagram. I just want to see cute photos of my friends. Is that too much to ask for? That's why we signed up. I built this list of a thousand followers for a reason. But here is what Jack and I find fascinating about this story. Do not underestimate the Kardashian impact on the stock market. In 2018, Kylie vented via Twitter about Snapchat's new redesign, which she did not like. And then what happened to Snapchat stock Jack?

Snapstock fell 6% on Kylie's tweet. Well, yesterday, Metastock dropped 4.5%. So, Jack, what's the takeaway for our buddies over at Instagram? Facebook is losing its religion. Yeah, it is. You can't take a step over at Facebook headquarters without bumping into the words. We're connecting people. Facebook's religion has always been connecting people with friends.

Well, now Facebook is zuck and TikTok, which happens to do the opposite of Facebook. they abandon your friends and they disconnect people. Even the core Facebook app last week got redesigned to mimic TikTok. Basties, you may have noticed that the news feed is dead. Posts from your friends are now like hidden in a separate tag. And Facebook's not the only big tech company losing its religion because growth has finally slowed. True. Netflix's religion was never doing ads. Jack, what is Netflix doing now?

They're doing ads. Yeah, Facebook isn't about connecting people anymore. It's about chasing TikTok. Facebook is losing its religion, and the Kardashians hate it. Hate it. For our second story, Russia is in its fifth month of wage and war against Ukraine. We've seen Russia's numbers about its economy, but now we have the real numbers. We do, and Russia's economy is living a huge life.

Yet he's Putin is still bombing Kiev, trying to invade their neighbor and expand mother Russia. Yeah, we covered in February the West's main response to the conflict, which was weaponizing finance with sanctions. But you may have heard some headlines recently that Russia's economy is surprisingly resilient to those sanctions. You may have heard that the Russian Rubel has fully recovered. You may have even heard that Putin was prepared for all these sanctions because he sanction proved his economy. Well, think again, because according to a squad of Yale Bulldog professors, you heard wrong. What you heard is because Russia is lying about their economy. So Yale University just published what they call the first complete economic analysis of Russia's economy post-Ukraine war.

It's a working title. It's written by Jeffrey Sondentfeld, that Yale professor who was keeping the long list of the companies that were exiting Russia because of Putin. I remember, we were always checking that list. It's like the Santa list. You know who's naughty and you know who's nice when you see that list. Well, Professor Jeffrey Sondefeld and his 18 co-authors, they concluded that Russia's economy is actually, in really, really bad shape. It's actually been badly, badly damaged way more than anyone's report. Those 19 professors and even more researchers, they determined that the pain in Russia right now is very, very severe. Let's jump in T-boy style. Here's how bad. The Western companies

that left Russia, they represented a whopping 40% of Russia's GDP. McDonald's, Starbucks, Goldman Sachs, IKEA, even some Western oil companies. That's nearly half of Russia's economic output just got pulled out. And Putin has tried to fill that 40% hole in their economy by busting open the national piggy bank. Great point, Jack. And then here's the problem. He's running out of cash and he's turned that piggy bank over and he's shaped it pretty hard already. Plus, this paper by these professors, it says that there are deep, brutal supply shortages in Russia right now because they can't import anything from these Western countries. Yeah, China's bailing them out a little, but that's just like an ice pack on an open wound. So, Jack, what's the takeaway for our buddy?

who are everyone else in the world. You have to translate Russian economic data twice, the language and then the propaganda. Besties in the United States are economic data. It is solid. Our institutions are historically independent of politics. It's solid data. But according to this paper, Putin has a long and shameful track record of political interference with government data.

If the data doesn't support his politics, he manipulates it, and he does it quite a bit. That's why reading Russia's economic data is, and I quote, quote from this paper, it's like drinking from the fountain of Russian propaganda. Again, those are Professor Sondefeld's words. He says that Russia has cherry-picked and selectively tossed out unfavorable statistics while keeping the favorable statistics. In Soviet Russia, data chooses you. Nick, this is like a baseball player who brags that his batting average is 500,

but that doesn't include any of the strikeouts in his calculation. Yet is the headlines we hear about Russia's resilient economy. they were translated into English. But it's harder to translate Russia's economic propaganda into reality. So it took 18 professors to do it for us. And now word about our sponsor, Robin Hood. Nick and I got to know Vlad and Bejou, the co-founders of Robin Hood, when we worked there for three years.

And there's this one business principle we heard from them. And we just, we honestly loved it. A, B, L. Always be launching. Always be launching. That's what keeps customers engaged. It keeps investors happy. and it keeps competitors kind of concerned. Always be launching is also consistent with Robin Hood's mission to democratize finance for all.

Yeah, not just stock trading. Also options, crypto, spending, wallets, and more. They launched a lot of stuff. And that's something we heard, we saw, and we adopted. Yeah, this week, we relaunched the podcast as the best one yet, and launched a video pod right here. More to come. If you're not on Robin Hood yet, want to get started, go to robin hood.com slash T-Boy

and choose your free stock. That's Robinhood.com slash T-B-O-Y. Certain limitations apply. investments involve risk. Robin Hood Financial LLC, member SIPC. By the way, Robin Hood is no longer affiliated with us or this podcast. For our third and final story, Glossier just announced that its direct-to-consumer beauty products are going to be sold in Sephora's 2,000 physical stores for the first time. But Glacier isn't settling here. They're just settling down. Yeties, if unicorns wore makeup, they'd be wearing Glossier. The eight-year-old $2 billion,

cosmetics startup that has painted millions of millennial faces. His brand is dripping and dewy. Jack, can we talk about their hero product? I think you know what we're talking about with the hero product. The boy brow. The eyebrow fluffer that gives you Olivia Rodriguez, because behind every good Instagram post is a good Glossier night serum cream. And it's not just the first brand to own millennial pink, although Glossier is that.

True. They're also one of the first brands to have pioneered the direct. direct-to-consumer business. It says it clearly on the website until yesterday. Glossier products are sold exclusively at Glossier.com. If you want to get your hands on some milk jelly cleanser, you're only getting it at Glossier. Don't even question that. Until now. Until now. Because here's the news. Glossier is liberating itself from Glacier.com. It will sell at Sephora's 2000 stores to. Ifso facto, this direct consumer, only us. You can only get it through us. Only me. Only us. middleman. Glacier now has a middleman. And it's

Sephora, the makeup mecca of this economy. We're talking to retailer and cosmetics that's owned by the largest luxury company on earth, LVMH, Louis Vuittamaway HNSC. Glad you pronounced that, not me. I almost pulled my tongue saying it. And the reason Glacier is coming to Sapphora is because Sapphora realized one of the most searched items on Sapphora.com is Glossiery, but they can't sell Glossier at Sapphora. Besties, Jack and I have talked to you about this before. The search bar on any website for any commercial good, it is like a corporate truth serum because you're

telling that company what you actually want to buy. And that truth serum revealed customers really wanted Glossier. Well, now that moisturizing moon mask from Glossier isn't just limited to Glossiate.com. It's hitting the most important and biggest aisle 6 in the makeup industry. It's hidden Sephora. So Jack, what's the takeaway for our buddies over at Glossier? They're not settling. They're settling down. The number one criticism of the direct-to-consumer business model right now, it's that it's run out of gas. Casper mattresses, all bird shoes, Harry's Brazers, they disrupted by going direct-to-consumer, but now they have arrived at Target with their tail between their legs. But the way Jack and I see it, we don't think

those brands or Glossiate are settling. We think they're just settling down. This isn't a compromise to their D-2-C model. They just started a new life stage. Yeah, because being direct-to-consumer, that successfully built up a loyal audience who only bought from that brand's website, that's pretty good. And these brands still have those core customers, but now they want to reach the Sephora brick and mortar crowd too. People were searching for Glossier at Sephora. Letting people buy where they want, that's the mature thing to do. And the D to C brands that are adding a middleman, they're all like 10 years old. They've achieved billion dollar valuations. They're not kids anymore. No, they're not settling. They're settling down. It's not a bad thing. They're embarking.

on a new life stage. Jack, can you and that lovely new haircut, if I do say so myself, whip up the takeaways for us over there? Facebook and Instagram are hiding your posts from friends recommending TikTok style videos instead. Yeah, Facebook's losing its religion and the Kardashians really hate it. For our second story, the Russian econ data that we're reading is wrong, according to you. Yeah, it was translated into English, but the propaganda has to get translated to. Our third and final story is Glossier. They're adding a middleman back in. It's Sephora.

Yeah, Glossier. They're not settling for brick and mortar retail. They're settling down. Good for you. No, seriously, the hair looks great. Now, time for the best fact yet. Wouldn't hurt you to tell me my hair looks good too. From Billy Kushner, a Yee in Mastic Beach, New York.

Happy Shark Week, everybody. Happy Shark Week. Now, on Monday, Jack and I told you that you were more likely to get hit by a coconut than bit by a shark. And this got like a lot of Yeti attention. People were very into this. We then went on to say, you're also probably more likely to be bitten by the person next to you, then be bitten by a shark.

Turns out that last one is right. That checked us and noticed that the last year data was available as 1977, when 892 New Yorkers got bitten by other New Yorkers. Again, not sharks on humans. We're talking human on human bites here. What does that mean, Jack? That means you're 10 times more likely to be bitten by a New Yorker than by a great white shark. It's not that New Yorkers are dangerous people.

We're just really hungry. We're just in a hurry. If you don't get out of my way, I will Mike Tyson. Yeties, you look fantastic today. Jack, you still look amazing over there. Actually, I don't know how your barber gets it in line. Your hair strands are like militaristic. Make the locks look lovely.

Okay? Your curls like cute. I look like I peed in an electrical socket. Are you kidding? This thing is all over the place. Did they trim your eyebrows? They trim my eyebrows. I ask for it every time at the end.

Now I feel like I'm showing off. Yeties, you look. look fantastic. Day, Jack and I can't wait to see you tomorrow. And before we go, happy 247th birthday to the U.S. Postal Service

established by Ben Franklin. Was it really established by Ben Franklin, or is this one of those? The answer's got lost in the mail. We don't even know. Corey Angus, happy 33rd birthday

in Clifton, Virginia. And happy 15th birthday to Jake Mulholland in Lake Hyawatha, New Jersey. And Lucy Walker is turning a big, oh, one years old in Fully, Alabama.

Congrats to Miles McHenry, who passed the CF exam on his first attempt already crushing the series seven. Totally. And Nate Garra just got a new puppy who watches T-boy with Nate every single day. Remember puppy. People ultimately prioritize puppies. Yeah.

This is Jack. Nick and I both on stock of Robin Hood. And now worried about our sponsor, Robin Hood. Funny little thing about the Robin Hood logo. Okay, go look at it right now. Most people, you just see a feather. Robin Hood's feather in a cap, pretty classic. But it also looks like something else. If you look closer, closelyer, you may see an arrow pointing up to the right.

Yeah, the Robin Hood logo. Nice little Easter egg in there. It's not just a feather. It also symbolizes bullishness. There's a little arrow in there. If markets are up or down, it's nice to be optimistic. We always love that little detail in the Robin Hood logo. Honestly, it's all about the little things in life.

If you're not on Robin Hood yet, want to get started. go to robin hood.com slash T-boy and choose your free stock. That's Robinhood.com slash T-B-O-Y. Certain limitations apply. All investments involve risk. Robin Hood Financial LLC, member SIPC. By the way, Robin Hood is no longer affiliated with us or this podcast. Thank you for the update.

No problem. Thank you for the update. Please, sir, make an update for me. Please, sir. That's one of your great early impressions, Max. Oh, yeah, you're right. See, sir, can we have some more? Some more takeaways?

Don't more take. Don't get greedy.