The Best One Yet - 🐟 “Revenge of the Funa Sandwich” — Subway’s resurrection. Ye’s Parler acquisition. China’s 5-yr plan.

Episode Date: October 18, 2022

Subway, the world’s largest sandwich chain, was sinking on a fake tuna controversy — So it threw the kitchen sink at the problem. After getting his Twitter account frozen, Kanye is now acquiring Parler… so now 5 men control our 5 speech platforms. And China just re-upped President Xi for another 5 years, so we’re looking at whether its economy will beat America’s. $TWTR $META $MCDFollow The Best One Yet on Instagram, Twitter, and Tiktok: @tboypodAnd now watch us on YoutubeWant a Shoutout on the pod? Fill out this formGot the Best Fact Yet? We got a form for that tooLearn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is Nick. This is Jack. It's Tuesday, T-Boy, Tuesday, October 18th, and today's pod is just the best one yet. It's a T-boy, man. It is a T-boy. Shocktober continues, baby. The Dow jumped 550 points to start the week yesterday. Yeah, hey, October, keep on shocking us.

In the meantime, I'll take more. Jack, what's our first story? Last week, Kanye West got kicked off of social media. This week, Kanye West is buying a social media company. For our second story, last year, year Subway Sandwiches was sinking because of Funa. Funa, the fake tuna scandal. This year, Subway Sandwiches is thriving and has nothing to do with Funa.

Nothing to do with the Funa. Our third and final story is China. They're in the middle of what we're calling Comcom, the Communist Party Congress. But here's the big question. Will China's economy pass the U.S.? Maybe not. And will we get tickets to ComCon next year? Probably not.

We're definitely not getting this invite, Jack. I don't want to be the one to break it to you, but ugh. What she wants, she gets. But, Yeties, before we hit that fantastic mix. A perfect mix for a Teaboy Tuesday. I had to jump it out of my shoes over here for this mix. Yeties, Taylor Swift just dropped her 10th album over the weekend. Ten albums.

But Yeties, what if Jack and I told you that Taylor Swift joined the Navy instead? What if we told you? Taylor Swift traded in her guitar for a cannon. Well, get this, Taylor. The most popular boy band in the world is, taking a pause for music. Because the most popular boy band in the world has to join their country's military. We're talking about BTS.

The legendary Korean pop group is taking a break to serve in the Korean army. 18 months of service is required of all Koreans before they turn 28. No exceptions. No exceptions even for superstars. Jack, this is like if N-Sync said bye-bye-bye-bye. And then went into battle. Jack, it's like of the backstreet boys quit playing games with our hearts. And started flying B-52s instead.

It's like if Destiny's child started jumping, jumping into the battlefield. Can Justin Timberlake even drive a tank? Side note, do those frosted tips fit under a helmet? You're going to have to ask Corporal Jonas Brothers. To all the members of BTS, we salute you. Hot like summer, ain't no bummer. We'll see you on tour in 2025 when you're back. Cool shade stunner, smooth like butter.

Let's hit our three stars. Dynamite. Fifteen years before this song, two boys from the northeast met in the dawn. That's a fat tip. Tea Boy City on your at list. If you know, you know because we're ready to go. We can't wait no more, so just start the show. For our first story, Kanye West has reached an agreement to buy parlor the uncancellable free speech platform.

Rich, power-hungry dudes used to buy newspapers. They used to. Now they buy social media companies. Jack and I jumped in T-boy style. According to Forbes, Kanye West has a net worth of $1.3 billion and then- We also found. a list of the most expensive things that Kanye has bought with that $1.3 billion. A little drum roll, please, Jack. How many cars does he have?

I don't know, but $4 million worth the cars. Oh, Jack. Can you talk to me about the bling Kanye's acquired? Yeah, he spent $1.2 million on an engagement ring. Ouch. That hurts. But Jack, can you tell us about the most important asset in Kanye West's entire net worth? Gold-plated toilets. Yeties, we don't recommend. gold-plated toilets as an investor. However, Kanye West owns $750,000 worth of gold-plated toilets. But yet, he's none of that is enough because now Kanye West wants to buy a social media company. Yeah. Kanye West has reached an agreement in principle to acquire the social media

app parlor. But let's back up because last week, we told you how Twitter froze Kanye West's social media accounts for his anti-Semitic tweets. Yeah, so then this week, Kanye West created an account on parlor and then what do you do, Jack? And then he announced he's buying parlor on the same day. You gotta love that diligence process, Jack. Yeah, he set up an account a couple hours before announcing to buy it. The old 24 hour, I'm just going to buy this thing turnaround. So to recap, Kanye was in the news all week last week for offensive tweets.

Now he's buying the alt Twitter. Now, Jack and I should point out here, this is an agreement in principle. Yeah, that's what the press release said. So don't be shocked if Kanye loses interest and bails on the deal like Trump and Elon have done. So Parlor is CEOed by a man named George Farmer who happens to be married to conservative podcaster Candice Owens. And Candice Owens was wearing the same White Lives Matter shirt with Kanye last week at that fashion show. Now Farmer calls Kanye a victim of cancellation. Yeah, he says that his anti-Semitic posts from last week are up for conversation. And he said that Parlor wants more

speech, not less speech. So they called him Saul's free speech, which has made them very popular as like a wing Twitter. So we should jump into the numbers here. Jack, Parlor reportedly has how many users? They have 100,000 monthly active users. And Jack, how many users does Twitter have? Twitter's earnings reports say they have 200 million Twitter users. If so facto, Twitter has 2,000 users for every single parlor users. So Jack, what's the takeaway for our buddies over in anyone who uses social media? Five men control the five social media platforms. Okay, Yetis. So, even, Elon is buying Twitter. Trump is trying to launch his truth social and now Kanye is buying parlor.

Nick and I count five major social media platforms. Five. Each controlled by one man. Okay, Jack, you got Instagram and Facebook. Controlled by Zuck. And then you got Snapchat. Controlled by Evan Spiegel. Plus, you got Elon Musk, Donald Trump, and now you got Kanye West too.

That makes five dudes controlling our five social media platforms. Oh, and you want to know about TikTok? Jack, who controls TikTok? China. And who controls China? President Sheikh. There we go. Yeties, it's the algorithms that decide what posts we see, but those algorithms are controlled by these five men. Besties, decentralization is all the rage right now, but our communication has never been more centralized. These five men control the five speech platforms. For our second story, subway sandwiches went from irrelevance to record sales. It's all thanks to the kitchen sink.

strategy. Subway sandwich is like a Shakespearean calorie drama. The greatest tragedy in fast food since the Domino's Dominator pineapple pizza. It is the corporate equivalent jack of getting a burrito and then the whole thing just falls apart while you're trying to eat it. Now, I did have many a meatball marinero when I was a kid. Was that part of your strategy? Like the Lucille Roberts of the suburbs? I actually biked there every day one summer and biked home with a sandwich in my belly. Getty's Subway Sandwiches. It's shockingly the number one largest sandwich chain in the world. It's 60 years old. It has 38,000 locations. This is the cold cut icon outside of New Jersey. Unfortunately, though, Subway's sandwiches had fallen on hard times.

They've been closing stores for five years, and for 15 years they've been shrinking sets. Where is happy Gilmore when you need them, Jack? I need a fresh, delicious, tasty, turkey-filled cold-cut combo. I eat three every day to have. help keep me strong. Yeties, last year we covered the juiciest drama of Subway's history. Are you talking about the Funna controversy? Not tuna. Funa. Yeah, last year, some suspicious lady was curious about that tuna in those Subway tuna sandwiches. Yeah, so she hired a lab and determined that 19 out of 20 of the sandwich samples had no detectable tuna DNA. As we said,

it wasn't tuna, it was funa. The court case is an ongoing matter. Now, yeties, Jack and I are not marine biologists, but we can tell you that that's a problem. It wasn't Subway's only problem, though. Because in the marketing, Subway kept pushing their six subs with less than six grams of fat. Their menu didn't make sense in this avocado-loving world that we live in today. Ifso facto, things got worse for Subway sandwiches, but Jack, hold the Mayo. The Subway may have finally turned itself around. Yeah, Yeti, Subway just announced what they're calling a record sales. We couldn't fact-checked their claim because they're as a private company. There's no financial statements for us to review.

There's no gabagool for us to jump into. So we couldn't fact check their tune it either. But Subway says that this past quarter was their best since 2012. Now, their footprint is still large. Like Subway is the number one largest chain in America with 20,000 locations. Subway has 5,000 more locations in America than the number two chain McDonald's. And they say that they're doing better than they ever have. We jumped in T-Boy style. There have been no S-Bulley. SNL skits mocking Subway recently. Yeah, it's not a financial number, but we'll roll with it.

So, Jack, what's the takeaway for our buddies over at Subway? When things are really bad, you may have to try the kitchen sink strategy. Has in throw the entire kitchen sink at the problem, then we'll see what sticks. Yeti's Subway's turnaround plan wasn't particularly strategic. They just tried everything. But the way Jack and I are seeing this, that may have been strategic because they changed everything except for the recognizable brand. The turnaround started with a complete menu overhaul, which they called Eat Fresh Refresh. Then they tied celebrities to the sandwiches, so you'd order

the Russell Wilson sandwich because he has his own sub. And then they added new revenue streams, like a catering division for that six-foot sub party you went to as a kid. They replaced the subway wallpaper with LED lighting. So you can actually see that turkey. They even tested a subway sandwich vending machine with pre-made sandwiches for gas stations. Press C6, boop, boop, and you're getting the meatball. When you're Subway and your entire business is spiraling into irrelevance, you throw the entire kitchen sink at the problem. Now a word about our sponsor, Robin Hood.

You can do just about anything from your phone, but some industries, they've just been slow to move. The finance industry was slow to move from phone to computer and then from computer to app. Robin Hood wasn't. It's the Silicon Valley-based brokerage that's been updating app since it was born in 2015. Using the Robin Hood app for your stocks and crypto is almost as easy as downloading it. So you can invest to your pace on your terms by downloading the Robin Hood app. If you're not investing on Robin Hood yet, to get started, go to robinhood.com slash T-Boy

and choose your free stock. That's Robinhood.com slash T-B-O-Y limitation supply. Stocks are offered by Robin Hood Financial LLC, member SIPC. Crypto offered through Robin Hood Crypto. All investments involve risk. By the way, this podcast is not owned by or part of Robin Hood, and we are not employees of Robinhood. For our third and final story, China just held its most important meeting of the entire decade. So when is China's economy going to surpass ours? It's a good question. Possibly never.

It's a cliffhanger. Oh, Yetis, you thought your spring fling senior year college party was a big party? China's Communist Party has 97 million partiers. 97 million. That is a lot of red solo cups. It takes a while to get down that flip cup line. But the Chinese Communist Party, it doesn't meet weekly. It doesn't meet monthly.

It doesn't meet on the second Tuesday of every third Wednesday. The Chinese Communist Congress, it's a five-year reunion schedule. Five years. It's like your usual reunion. Really went bald there, George. And those 97 million party members did something this year that they've only done once. They handed President Xi Jinping of China another five-year term as the president of the People's Republic of China. Okay, so Jack, this is President Xi's third.

straight term, almost unprecedented. The last time this happened, the last time a Chinese leader was granted so much power, was the revolutionary chairman Mao. Wow. So yet he's President Xi, he's already been president leading China for 10 years. He just got another five. And what she wants, she gets. Never forget that. But what Jack and I found fascinating was the speech that President Xi made for two hours on Sunday. And the most important part of that important speech, Yes, Jack. It was something he said 39 times. What did he say 39 times?

It better be good. New era. As in we're in a new era for China. First of all, that's not necessarily good news because the way we see it, China's last era, that was pretty, pretty good, Jack. Can I just have more of that era? It was an economic miracle. Can we toss some numbers on this, Jack?

Yet he's for 30 years from 1990 to 2020, China's economy grew at an insane pace. Nearly a billion people were in poverty at the start of that economic boom in China. But then the average income of the Chinese citizen grew by 30 times over that 30-year period. That's across a billion people. Honestly, if we were President Xi Jinping, we'd want the same era. Like, not a new era. We're cool with that.

I'll have what she's having. Yeah, I'll have what she had. Because in the old era, China's economy was on top. pace to surpass America's economy as number one by 2030. But here's the problem for China. In China's new era, that's not necessarily the case. It could never happen. China's economy may never now pass America's economy.

After all, in the 90s, we all thought Japan's economy would pass us. That never happened. And that didn't happen. So, Jack, what's the takeaway for our buddies over in China? China's economic tailwinds have become economic headwinds. Yet is the three keys to China's economic miracle in the old era were the three F. Free trade, foreign investment, and focus. But now all three of those advantages have become disadvantages.

First, foreign trade. China was the export machine of the world, but now countries don't want to be dependent on China. Apple, for example, they don't want to be a dependent on China. So their new iPhone factory is not in Beijing. It's in India. Oh, and how about foreign investment? Jack. Western companies were rooting for China's rise for decades because that was a huge new market with a billion new customers. But now operating in China means participating with the totalitarian state

and that could be bad for your brand. And the third F that's gone a switcheroo on China is focus. Yeah, it's focus, Jack. For 30 years, economic growth. That was the one, the only, the entire plan and focus of China. But now a prideful President Xi has huge distractions like Taiwan and his zero COVID policy. Those economic headwinds are why it's no longer destiny for China's economy to become number one. China's economic tailwinds have become economic headwinds. Jack, can you whip up the takeaways for us for T-Boy Tuesday? Kanye West has reached a deal to buy parlor for an undisclosed price. Five men control the five speech platforms. For our second story, Subway Sandwiches says it's back in its happy place. Because they threw the whole kitchen sink at the problem.

And I love what you did there, man. It was a hole in one. And our third and final story, China re-upped President Xi for another five years, marking what he called 39 times a new era. But China's economic tailwinds, they've become economic headwinds. Now, time for the best fact yet. This one sent in by Jackie Connor from Orange, California. Yesterday was one of the greatest days of the year, National Pasta Day. I'm sorry, am I co-hosting with the former wine salesman of the month from Olive Garden or what?

Jack, laid on us. Three months running, 26, and I quit on top. Now, yeties, we should point out, we missed National Pasta Day yesterday because our mouths were full of Fetuccini. But our favorite fact? The names. The names, Italy. The nomenclature. It has so much pasta that there are over 350 known shapes of Italian pasta.

That's 350 different types of pasta that could be on your plate or in your mouth. From A to Z, from Ancalini to Ziti. In fact, there's literally a pasta called Alphabet. Yeah, and Jack, where are you going to find that pasta? In alphabet soup. Boom, there you go. Personal favorite, bow tie. Just saying, I had it when I was a kid.

I have it when I'm a adult. It's fun to eat. Bowtie pasta, the only pasta you should be wearing. The only bow tie you don't have to tie. Gabagool Yetis, you look fantastic today. And if you want a shout out on the pod, or if you've got the best fact yet, we want your voicemail. We want your shoutouts. You can submit them through a link in the episode description.

Jack and I will see. it tomorrow. And before we go, happy birthday to Yeti, Alex Burns, the Blue Devil of Boston. And happy birthday to Cedric Bateman in Tulsa, Oklahoma. And happy birthday to Mr. M&M turning 50 in Detroit, Michigan. I see you, Stan. And happy birthday to Scott Matler, celebrating in Scandinavia. And Yeti Mary Yogi is flying from Los Angeles to Massachusetts to visit her best friend Helen and her kids, Allison and Rosie, for the first time since the pandemic. Get this man some oxygen. I'm gonna need it. This is Jack. Nick and I both own stock of Apple, Twitter, and Robin Hood.

Now a word about our sponsor, Robin Hood. Jack, rule number one about a kitchen renovation. Tell your friends about your kitchen renovation. We know the cabinets are expensive. Well, in the pandemic, a lot of companies renovated their businesses focusing on apps and digital. Robin Hood didn't have to. It was built digital from the start.

Robin Hood's mobile first and intuitive design makes investing a little easier for every stage of your investing journey. you want to trade options, ETFs, or stocks through Robin Hood Financial, or buy some Bitcoin on Robin Hood crypto, you can do all that right on the Robin Hood app. If you're not investing on Robin Hood yet, to get started, go to Robinhood.com slash T-Boy and choose your free stock. That's Robinhood.com slash TBOI. Limitations apply. Robin Hood Financial LLC, member SIPC, all investments involve risk.

By the way, this podcast is not owned by or part of Robin Hood, and we are not employees of Robin Hood.