The Best One Yet - 🎤 “You only got one shot” — Apple’s new VIP. Teladoc’s Eminem moment. April’s Stock-pocalypse.

Episode Date: April 29, 2022

Apple just put on an earnings performance so strong, it could’ve bought 2 Twitters with it. Teladoc’s stock plummeted 40% yesterday because it missed its Eminem moment. And this April has been the worst month for tech stocks in 14 years — we identified the 3 Buzzkills for the Stock-pocalypse.$AAPL $TDOC $SPYFollow us on Instagram, Twitter, and Tiktok: @tboypodAnd now watch us on YoutubeWant a Shoutout on the pod? Fill out this formGot the Best Fact Yet? We got a form for that tooLearn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is Nick. This is Jack. It's Friday, April 29th. And today's pod is the best one yet. It's Friday. Thank God it's TbOI. TvioI, Jack. Can we talk about this?

You got three options here. Is it the moose? Is it hair gel or is it generic product? Okay. I did not use any hair product today. You know what I did use? What are you working with? Talk to me.

A blow dryer for the first time ever. Oh, this is Nick and that's Mr. Hollywood over there. I felt like I was a dog with my head out the window, all the wind of my hair. Was it you or did your agent use the hairdresser with that? I was home alone, and that's why I felt confident enough to try it. It sounds like a productive use of our entrepreneurial time. Jack, fantastic mix of stories today. Before the weekend, what's our first story?

April is about to be the worst month for the NASDAQ stock index since 2008. It's the stock apocalypse, and it's because of three buzz kills. For our second story, Apple's earnings were so good. So good. That this company deserves an Emmy. Okay, Apple, it's got a new hero. It's not the iPhone. It's Ted Lassow.

For our third and final story, Teledoc was the cure to your pandemic ailments. But the stock just plummeted 40% yesterday. It all comes down to Dr. Dre and Eminem, like it always does. This is a good one. This is a good takeaway. I'm excited for this one. But before we hit that wonderful mix, we got a question for you.

The perfect mix of stories before a weekend. Have you memorized the lyrics to our new jingle yet? You may not have, even if you're in the shower, 24 hours a day. According to Time Magazine, it takes 30 listens to memorize the song. So a question that we're getting often is, who is actually behind that new jingle that you're about to hear in this pod? Spoiler alert, it's neither of us. Yeah, it's not us. The answer is Black Alack.

Black Alack. Two professional rappers who happen to be fans of this pot. Okay, absolute legendary talent. Zeeleian franchise are the musical artists behind the Black Alack rap group. And kind of like us, Zillion franchise, they met when they were young and now their business partners. Well, we connected with Black Alack and Jack and I were saying, hey, we got a few questions for you. How can you turn a business news podcast into an anthem? How can we transform T-boy feeling into a T-Boy tune?

And no big deal, but how can we replace the epic jingle we had on the old pod with something even better? Okay, so Black Alack put some keys together, got their music strokes going and said, you know what, we're going to whip up something Grammy-worthy. Okay, they asked us for our story. so we told them our story. And then they channeled their inner fresh prince of Bel-A. And then over a month, they dropped multiple mixes for us to comment on, and we were like, wow. They turned our new T-boy brand into a T-Boy sound. Didn't know it was possible, but phonetically, the best one yet, too.

50%? That's a fat tip. T-Boy City on your at-lis. Let's see our three stories and the new jingle. At Blackalac music, double-tap these guys, let's go. 15 years before this song, two boys from the northeast met, met, met him. the dorm that had an idea that caused a cultural storm. It's the benefit to practice. 50% that's a fat tip.

Tea boy city on your at list. If you know, you know, because we're ready to go. We can't wait no more. So just start the show. Start the show. For our first story, Jack and I have been look in our portfolios. And the month of April, it's been the stockpocalypse. Yeah, we're going to blame three buzz kills.

And we especially hate the third buzz kill. But before we even get into that, maybe you have a bird. birthday in April. My father-in-law has a birthday in April. There are a lot of wonderful things that happen in the month of April. The Potson has a birthday in April. Jack, you got April Fool's Day. That's always fun. Yeah, you got National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day, which is fantastic. Can we talk about the Easter eggs? I've got a load of inventory of peeps that I barely even cracked into. But April is on track to be a stockpocalypse. Yeah, it's pretty bad out there. Jack, can you tell us about the S&P 500, please? S&P 500 is down 6% in April, which is the worst month.

for stocks overall in this market since the pandemic started in March of 2020. Jack, can we talk about the tech heavy NASDAQ? It's even worse. The worst month for tech stocks since the financial crisis in 2008. Let me tell you, Jack, when Netflix executives say, we're going to impose financial discipline, things aren't good. Okay. Hell hath frozen over when that happens. Sorry, Mom, the Netflix series.

Looks like it's not happening this month. So Nick and I found three just epic. buzz kills that are just bringing down the entire stock market. You don't want to have these at your party. Basically, three buzz kills are totally crushing the market's mojo right now. The first one is the war in Ukraine. While Ukraine is literally getting attacked daily, Europe's economy is damaged too. Yeah, and Putin just cut off gas to Poland and Bulgaria, which isn't going to be good for the

rest of Europe. Okay, Jack, second buzzkill, China. China's zero COVID policy means that they're locking down cities of like 20 million people. And if the cities are shut down, then the factories are shut down. And that means your summer dress isn't going to arrive for another five months, Hello, October. And the third buzzkill is the least obvious of all the buzz kills, but possibly the most powerful buzzkill on the stock market.

The third and biggest buzzkill is the Federal Reserve, America's central bank. So, Jack, can you put on a coat and tie and whip up the takeaway for our buddies over at the Fed? Money in is good for stocks. Money out is bad for stocks. our economy was suffering from a pandemic, stocks were rising. Yeah. Why were stocks rising during the pandemic? Because the Fed was pumping money in to the financial system. Okay, so now the pandemic is ending, the economy is growing, and yet stocks are falling. It sounds completely backwards. It's the pandemic paradox. The reason that explains it all is the Fed. The Fed explains the pandemic paradox. To stop

inflation, the Fed is jacking up interest rates right now and sucking money out of the economy like a Hoover Vax. And higher inflation rates are bad for stocks, especially companies that are not profitable. When the Fed pumps money into the financial system, stocks tend to rise. When the Fed sucks money out of the financial system, stocks tend to fall. Honestly, that's the annoyingly academic main reason that stock prices are down right now. The third buzzkill in all our lives right now is the Fed. For our second story, Jack's hair has achieved a volume. I have not seen in 15 years of knowing this man. It's huge. It's incredible. It's so big. I'm loving it. We have that a disclosure to the end of this podcast. You own a lot of hair. Is Revlon the new sponsor of this ad? Or this pod? We'll have a discussion.

All right. Second story, Apple, just put on a performance that was so big. It was so big that there is only one way to comprehend it. Apple could have bought Twitter twice. So if you want a preview of Apple's earnings, by the way, go down to the Apple store in the Marina of San Francisco. I heard they have a bouncer. There's a bouncer and there's a line. This is the hottest club this side of the city. What is the bouncer checking to let you in? Your wallet, Jack. They're checking your wallets. Can we talk about what's going on with big tech, Jack? Because big tech just had its littlest quarter. Yeah, big tech may want to take that PTA out. They're being right. Jack, how are Alphabet and Facebook doing?

Okay, profits shrank at Alphabet and Facebook. Faster than Zuck can Zuck something. Jack, how is Amazon doing? Amazon just announced their slowest revenue growth yesterday since they were a bookstore. But Apple, Apple. Apple just did the exact opposite of everything Jack and I just said. Yesterday, Apple announced record revenue for any quarter that didn't include Christmas.

Okay, $25 billion in one quarter. That's two lifts, by the way. Jack, that's their profit. How many other companies have brought in that much profit in a quarter. I don't think any companies ever made that much profit in a quarter. It's zero. It's zero. In fact, only five companies made that much profit in all of last year. And Apple did it in a quarter. But this is what Jack and I found so fascinating about Apple's earnings report. CEO Tim Cook was praising a part of Apple's business that he is never before praised.

Nick and I always read the CEO letter before jumping in T-boy style to the rest of the report. It's a lot of fun. It's kind of what we do. And Tim Cook always says Apple, in the first sentence, Apple makes the best products in the world. Well, for the first time ever, we noticed that Tim Cook just said Apple makes the best products and services in the entire world. We checked the last four CEO letters from Tim Cook, control after it. He didn't write that. He didn't write that then. Services was nowhere to be found. He never said it.

Now, when it comes to services, there's two types of services that Apple sells. Yeah, you got the utilities and he got the entertainment. Jack, the utilities? The utilities is the unsexy stuff, like ICloud, where you pay a monthly payment for Apple to store the trillions of pictures you've taken on your iPhone. You know that picture of the fireworks from New Year's Eve? You're never going to look at it again. It's just a fact. And then there's the entertainment services Apple.

Apple TV. Plus, they're winning awards like a young winniff. Ted Lassow. And Cota? We work. So if you're worried that the economy is slowing and the recession's coming, you may not end up buying that iPhone 46 that's about to come out. And a lot of people are worried a recession is coming. And that's why Apple loves these services so much.

Because you're not getting an iPhone 46, but you will keep paying monthly to watch Ted Lasso and Coach Beard. Season three coming out, I'm not sure when. So Jack, it's the takeaway for our buddies over at Apple. Apple just bought two Twitters. Elon is buying one Twitter. Cute kid. Apple is buying something worth two Twitters.

Elon Musk is spending $45 billion. to acquire all of Twitter. Well, Apple just announced yesterday, they're spending $90 billion on themselves. Get this. Apple has so much cash right now that they just announced they're buying $90 billion of Apple shares. So Apple has more long-term confidence in iPads than in tweet stores. So Apple's buying its own stock and the shareholders love it.

If you're trying to comprehend the magnitude of Apple profit today, just look at one thing. could have bought two Twitters. Instead, it bought more of itself. And now word about our sponsor, Robin Hood. Nick and I got to know Vladin Bejou, the co-founders of Robin Hood when we worked there for three years. And there was this one business principle we heard from them. And we just, we honestly loved it. A, B, L. Always be launching. Always be launching. That's what keeps customers engaged. It keeps investors happy. And it keeps competitors kind of concerned. Always be launching is also consistent with Robin Hood's mission to democratize finance.

for all. Yeah, not just stock trading. Also options, crypto, spending, wallets, and more. They launched a lot of stuff. And that's something we heard, we saw, and we adopted. Yeah, this week, we relaunched the podcast as the best one yet and launched a video pod right here. More to come. If you're not on Robin Hood yet, want to get started. Go to robin hood.com slash T-boy and choose your free stock. That's Robinhood.com slash T-B-O-Y. Certain limitations apply. All investments involve risk. Robin Hood Financial LLC, member SIPC. By the way, Robin Hood is no longer affiliated with us or this podcast. For our third and final story before the weekend on the first week of the best one yet,

Peladoc just lost half of its value in like hours. Because you only get one shot. Do not miss your chance to boil. Drey? No, Eminem. Eight mile. Lose yourself in the moment. Biggest waste of productivity in the economy, Jack.

What is the biggest waste of productivity? The doctor's office waiting. Okay, first, you show up a half an hour early. Of course. And then they're a half an hour late. Right. And then you fill out the same forms you filled out last time. And you fill it out in pencil.

So if you make a mistake, you start over. And then they ask you to fax them in, which is the worst part. And then you say, can I email it to you? And they're like, we don't take email. What do you mean you don't take email? Just give me an email address. Like, you have to print it at home. I don't have a printer.

I don't have a home. And that's basically the reason for Teledoc. Teledoc pioneered the virtual doctor's appointment. Right. And when we were shelter in place at the beginning of the pandemic, tele appointments, virtual appointments, that was a great idea. You want to triple mask to go to the doctor's office just so you could get that thing on your thigh checked out. Instead, you just log into your teledoc app. There's 3,000 medical professionals who might answer your call, and they can prescribe you thytastrasol for that thing under thys.

Well, for four straight quarters, that was fantastic. Revenues were doubling over at teledoc. People weren't going to the doctor's office. They were just video conferencing some doctor instead. Jack, what about today? What's the situation at Teledoc? Okay, revenue growth has shrunk to just 25% last quarter, and they expect even worse slowdown next year.

That was some scary news. So Teledoc looked at its symptoms and just gave itself the absolute worst diagnosis of all. Teledoc announced yesterday that they're valued twice as much as they should be. Teledok, get on the scale. Get off the scale. It was a shockingly honest confession by Teledoc, a publicly traded company. Well, Jack, what is the wild thing about publicly traded companies that we always kind of like? Lying is illegal.

Honesty is required by law. And if you're not honest and if you do lie, you get prosecuted with like fraud. So Teledoc just confessed that it's overvalued by $6.5 billion. They had to confess that because they had to be honest because of the law. So the CEO of Teledoc literally wrote down. the value of this telemedicine company by $6.6 billion on their financial books. They're worth half as much. That means it's worth half as much as it was before. Now, investors, they didn't reward Teledoc's honesty. You know what? I'm just glad you told me the truth. They didn't say that.

Wall Street, not UNICEF. So Teleduct stock plummeted yesterday by 40%. And they didn't even get a lollipop on their way out. It's now down 90% from its all time. So Jack, what's the takeaway for our buddies over Teledoc? To quote our buddy Eminem, you only get one shot. For the state home stocks over on the eight mile, the pandemic. It's not the eight mile. It's just eight miles. You know what I'm talking about.

The pandemic for stay at home stocks, it was their one shot. Yes, Wall Street doesn't give second chances. Well, for Zoom, Peloton, and Teledoc, the most perfect opportunity to secure customers for life. It was the pandemic. Now Teledoc's business has slowed. people are returning to work, and they're going back to see the doctor in person. Not good for Teleduct. Yeah.

And there's competition that's healthy and kicking. Amazon has got its own virtual doctor. Day at home stocks like Teledoc, the pandemic wasn't just an opportunity to grow their business. It was the opportunity. Because, Jack, you only get one shot. Do not miss your chance to blow. This opportunity comes once in a lifetime. If Teledoc didn't win during the pandemic, it may never.

Jack, can you and that flow whip up the takeaways for us? before the weekend. April has been a stockpocalypse because of some major bus kills. Yeah, because the Fed's pulling money out, not putting money in. For our second story, Apple's finally giving We crashed and it services some love. To understand Apple's epicness right now, it could have just bought two Twitters. For our third and final story, Teledoc had the opportunity of a lifetime with the pandemic. But it missed its chance to blow.

Now, time for the best fact yet. This one's submitted by Garrett Brooks from lovely Louisville, Kentucky. We homo sapiens. We have one heart. It's on the left side of our chest. Yeah, it's like pretty boring, to be honest. Shrimp have one heart too. It's actually in their heads.

That is a little bit cooler. Is the head the part you eat? Only if you want to eat the heart. Octopus, on the other hand. They have three hearts. Yeah, squid, they don't want to be outdone. Squid, they got three hearts too. Earthworms?

Yeah. No heart. Zero hearts within the earthworm. How are they pulling that off? Not like metaphorically, physiologically. Yeah, the way they move around, that squishes the blood around their wormy body. No heart necessary to pump the blood. To everyone who is enjoying this first week of the best one yet.

To everyone who has a heart on the left side of their chest. Jack and I just want you to celebrate the wins. Jack, we have got some wins to celebrate this week, please. We want nothing except for you to celebrate the wins this weekend. Okay, Jack, we spun off the podcast into the best one yet. We physically built a studio even though we lost that Alan wrench. The last second Alan wrench. We rebranded.

I puffed my hair. If only for that last item, still a win to celebrate. We will see you Monday. Have a fantastic weekend. H-Y-H-T-B-O-Y. Have you had the best one yet? If you know, you know. And before we go, a shout out to the legendary listeners over at T-boy Pod fans on Instagram and Twitter.

They're fantastic fans of this podcast. You got to follow. A Philly-based fan account. That's going to be our first trip to see these new fans. Congratulations to Nicholas Carter for submitting his Capstone project over at Sacred Heart University. And Lucana Gonzalez, teacher of the year in Santa Ana, California. Enrico Ribe moving to the Bay Area. And Yvette Rebaugh, moving to Spain.

And Thaja, congrats on the new baby boy, born down in Houston. Happy anniversary to Michaela Nick, down in Chicago. And Henry and Karen, 40th anniversary in 10th. Texas. Congratulations to Eric Hendry, who got into medical school. And Aaron Lapsie, now a regional manager. Congrats to Lauren McLean campus, who's celebrating her last job at Tesla. Tony, Opie, and Miles, they are all going to be very happy. Happy birthday to Tabitha Accor in Nigeria. And Michael Memoring in Trenton, Michigan. And Boutran, Foo, in Brooklyn, New York. And Cody King in Louisville, Kentucky. Happy 24th to Alex Puccini in St. Louis, Missouri. And Adam Paxson, a birthday and a marriage coming up in Kansas City.

31st to Ryan Tuntland in Chicago. An area head is turning seven over in California. Happy birthday to disc golfer, Jay Farrick, in Petaluma. And Cindy in Los Angeles. Happy 15th to Drew Cosmack in Chicago. This is Jack. Nick owned stock of Apple. I own stock of Amazon and Netflix.

And we both own stock of Robin Hood and ETFs of the S&P 500. And now we're worried about our sponsor, Robin Hood. Funny little thing about the Robin Hood logo. Okay, go look at it right now. Most people, you just see a feather. Robin Hood's feather and a cap. Pretty classic. But it also looks like something else.

If you look closer, closelyer, you may see an arrow pointing up to the right. Yeah, the Robin Hood logo. Nice little Easter egg in there. It's not just a feather. It also symbolizes bullishness. There's a little arrow in there. If markets are up or down,

it's nice to be optimistic. We always love that little detail in the Robin Hood logo. Honestly, it's all about the little things in life. If you're not on Robin Hood yet, want to get started. go to robin hood.com slash t-boy and choose your free stock. That's robin hood.com slash t-b-o-y. Certain limitations apply. All investments involve risk. Robin Hood Financial LLC, member SIPC. By the way, Robin Hood is no longer affiliated with us or this podcast. For stay-at-home stocks over on the Green Mile.

Eight Mile. It's the Green Mile. It's right.