The Biggest Problem in the Universe: Uncucked - Episode 78

Episode Date: June 7, 2018

Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe, the show where we discuss every problem in the universe, from dink bowls to shitholes with over 4 million downloads. This is the only show where you decide what should or shouldn't be on the big list of problems. I'm Maddox with me as dick. Hey, what's up, funny? And Sean, our audio engineer. Hello. Boy, is dank balls? Dink, can you spell that for me?

B-O-W-L-S, bowls. Boles. Dink bowl, you know, like... A dank bowl is a good thing. A swag bowl is a bad thing. You don't know stuff about weed. Yeah, I don't give a shit. Oh, it's a weed, Joe.

It's a weed joke. When your weeds, Daneck, that's a good thing. Yeah, yeah. I don't know if I never call it a Dank bowl, though. Because I use Dank as sarcastically now because of Dank memes. Ah, yes, very clever. That'll get you out of this one. It was a meme.

Hey, and with us, Stereos is back. Sean, our audio engineer. And we have the wonderful, beautiful, talented guest, Aaron Tillman. Welcome back. Yay, I'm so happy to be here. They do. Welcome back, Aaron. And we have in studio today a full house.

We have guests, we have many people listening. It's a guest reunion show, yeah. Yeah, we got Robin Higgins in the corner. Robin Higgins is in the corner. Besides Queen herself. Yeah, it's a full house, guys. All right, so. So what did you guys get up to last week?

Oh, and why is everyone pissed off? Well, first we should do this. The biggest problem in the universe from last week was the virginity stigma. Yeah. Which I agree with. Right? And followed by cowardly perverts. Which, Assyrus, you didn't even get to the second point you were going to make about that.

I got way too drunk. I mean, yeah. And you were drunk? Yes, of course. Oh, shameful behavior. Yeah, look. You know, the... What were you going to say?

The one other example you wanted to get. Oh, I'll give it. Oh, I'll give it. All right. Oh, don't get me started by the fucking apples. Stop. No, no apples, no libertarians. All right.

Astrias, what is your point about... Apples and libertarians? cowards. Oh, just, I don't know. I just, I had another example where it's like, there's that TV show called Blind Spot Now. Right. And the way it's being advertised is it's got like a hot, super skinny brunette lady covered in tattoos. And she's super duper naked so you can see all her tattoos. And it's like, yeah, this is great. It's great. You get to drive around and see this picture of this hot naked lady. It's awesome. Great. Yeah. But the reason she's naked. Every ad should be that. Yeah, exactly. But the reason she's naked is that the clues are tattoos

to a grand conspiracy. So she never wears clothes. No. Yeah. She does, exactly. She never wears clothes. See, that's the genius, Aaron. She can't.

Otherwise, you won't know the clues. Yeah. It's like a sexy memento. Yeah. Exactly. And look, and my problem with it is that I think you should just have a hot naked girl in your show. Yeah, but it's NBC. It's NBC.

They can't do that. I feel like, I feel like someone like was in a room and they were like Eureka. I know how to have a naked girl on TV 90% of the time. her body will be the plot to the show. And that man is a hero. That man is a hero for finding ways to give us beautiful naked women, hysterios. I'll be damned if I'm going to sit here and listen to you badmouth him for that. How many ways have you figured out how to give us naked beautiful women?

Zero. Shut the fuck up. All right. That's right. Dick shutting you down. Well, thanks for forcing me to go into the argument I wasn't prepared to go into. I hope you edit out all of this. 11 was an inside job.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, no, no. I'm just going to say things. It's like four minutes into this. So before we move on, Aaron, we should... Who won first? The biggest problem in the universe from last week was the virginity stigma. All right, but before we move on, Erin,

we should mention your website. For the listeners who haven't listened to that... You don't know who I am. It was episode 69, guys. If you haven't heard it, go back to listen to 69. That's right. Yeah, you are on our big sex episode because you are the dating advice girl.

It's true. Hi, everybody. So I am Aaron Tillman, as Maddox said, aka the dating advice girl, for eight years now. I have basically been empowering singles in the dating process. That means that I have a book called The Dating Guidebook. Helping singles through a dating process, I do workshops. I do one-on-one coaching. I have a radio show.

I do TV appearances. Shout out to Lifetime Big Women and Big Love coming back for season two. So I should be a part of that. Wait, wait. Big Women, Big Love was the name of that show. Yeah. It was plus-size single women. It has a very specific audience.

Opposite guy is up to no good The opposite of that man is up to no good on this side of the spectrum He's figuring out ways to give big ladies on TV You see the battle we're up against Do you see what we're fighting for in America? All I'm saying is if you're going to be a perv Just be a perv just be proud of it Don't like sneak it into the culture

Just put naked ladies on TV We'll all be happier, it's easier Oh, Stereos, Stereos buddy Speaking of big ladies Asterios and I Oh no We went to a burlesque show. Can I try to talk about this now?

Let's hear it. Yeah. Let's hear this. So a fan wrote after listening to your problem of burlesque dancers where you said... What was the problem with that? Yeah, Steria. Let's give us a recap of your bullshit. Most controversial problem in the history of the show. You piece of shit. All I have to say is I just...

Look, here's my issue with it. What's the problem with burlesque? I'm just crying it for Christ's sakes. Why don't you text one of your nine boyfriends? Now here's the... I will. There's ten, actually. There's two.

I'm not worried. A baker's dozen. All right. Here's my problem with burlesque. My problem with burlesque is this. For some reason, our culture sees burlesque as this empowering, performative thing and see

strip clubs as this dirty, gross thing. And what's the difference between them? Literally like a pasty. A liberal arts degree. A liberal arts degree. And a funny name like Kiki Satan needs attention. So it's like, I just think that

I think that there should be nudity equality. and I think that burlese dancers should take their clothes off. Okay. Is that so wrong? Okay. So, Alex Caprio. Oh, go ahead.

No, no. But here's it. I have lots of friends who are both burlice dancers or strippers. And the thing is, is that there's a niche for both. Some people don't want to go into a strip club because it's just not their thing. So they choose a burlesque show. So there is an audience for both. Why is there only have to be one?

Well, no. Exactly. They doesn't have to be one. So here's what happened. Alex Caprio wrote in with the email, hey, hey, the reason you have these opinions about burlesque dancers is because you've never seen a real burlesque show.

That's what I thought. Like, okay, fuck you, I've never seen a real burlesque show. Maybe you have. You know, I've seen an overweight woman wearing a Darth Vader mask dancing around in 30s music. I went to a Star Wars. You've seen that, you've seen them all. I went to a video game themed one.

I went to, there's a Hanna tattoo one. Yeah, I've seen them all. So, I'm always down for, I say to the, at first I thought it was a woman writing me. I'm like, oh, yeah. I'll come out. What's the name? Alex.

But there was a picture. There was a picture. He attached a picture of his girlfriend. Oh, sneaky. And when I see, when I see an attached picture of a woman, I just, in my brain, I automatically think that it's a woman right in me. So I was a little too flirty in the response. It's like, oh, shit, it's a guy.

You're hitting out a dude. Yeah. So I'm always down for a drink and a good time. Mysterios is in town. We decide, what the hell? Let's go check out this burlesh show. And I got to say, not only did I. only did I love it. It changed my opinion of it. Yay. I thought the show was hot as shit.

Yeah. I thought it was hot as shit. You know, I was getting into it. I was getting the hot sweats. What does that mean? Did it move? Did it? Yeah. Yeah. That's what I was going to. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like you get the-tonist movement. Well, uh, yeah. It goes, you get the hot sweats and then there's penis movement. Oh, yes. That's how attraction. Right? I mean, what am I asking you write for? You don't have a penis? Yeah, I don't. It's true. I'm confirming that I do not have a penis. But between the two of you guys. Two of us, we have at least one penis between you and me. At least.

And between the three of us, we have three of them. At least. At least. I loved it, too, by the way. I got to say, I was, I'm super duper wrong about burlesque. All the burlesque shows I saw were like in college and lay. It was just a lot of overweight girls using it as a chance to get some self-expression out there, which I disagree with.

But I really, yes. Only you should be allowed to express yourself. Hello. Thank you. And so express. Hey, zip it, Missy. So, I don't. It's the S.JW from last episode.

Oh, yeah. We got to get into that too at a second. The bottom line is, I loved it. I'm wrong. I'm saying I'm wrong. I'm trying it. I'll take that. I like that.

Bravo. Guys, everybody vote down burlesque the answers because it's no longer a problem. Yay. Or voted up ironically to keep it at zero forever. But so here is, but then you... Well, hold on. Here's why I love the burlese show, because they're excited to be there. Yeah, of course.

The atmosphere is excited. There's chicks, there's a lot of chicks there because they're comfortable at a bar. They're comfortable going to a bar when there's this stupid, like, feminist expression thing going on too, right? And I say that jokingly. Like, they, they, the... And I'll say it seriously.

If it was some dumb-ass poetry slam it, be horrible too. But it wasn't horrible, it was great. It was awesome. Everything you're talking about, so they're not stupid, but I love them. One of the best times I've ever had in my life was on Christmas Day, I host this Chinese dinner thing with a bunch of friends.

And afterwards, everyone's like going to a bar and I thought, nah, I want to be antisocial. I'm going to a burlesque, uh, burlesque club. And I walked in this place. On Christmas? On Christmas. Oh, yikes. And I thought it was going to be,

second saddest place on earth. I thought that. I thought it was going to be so sad and depressing. And I walked in and buddy, it was like, my eyes literally lit up on Christmas and that hadn't happened since I was eight. And I was so happy. And so were the women.

Yes. And I have never seen that much money on the stage. You couldn't even see the stage. People were making it rain like crazy because it was Christmas. Yeah. People were tipping the ladies like crazy. They had to come out with a boom. Did you go to Jumbos?

It was Jumbos. Jumbos is amazing. It was a great time. I don't like Jumbos. No, it was fun. It was fun. And the women that night were beautiful and happy, and it was awesome. It was a good experience.

Yeah, I think part of the problem was I was equating it to strip clubs, probably wrongly. Because it's not. It's just a way to have fun at a bar. Exactly. Which I thought was great. It's Fem positive. Exactly. And a lot of them positive.

Yeah. Speaking of fem positive, I got some comments. Oh, we got to finish. We got to finish. Yeah, yeah. Oh, so then to compare, Asteroos and I went to a strip club after. Of course. Where I fell asleep and the stereos disappeared for 40 minutes.

Look, we got real, real drunk because it was like a craft beer bar this burlese show was at, so I didn't know how drunk I was getting until I woke up the next day on Dick's couch. covered lovingly in a nice red blanket that he put in my mouth. All right, all right. All right. You're inappropriate. But moving back. So look, before I knew it, I had somehow spent $330 in the span of about 20 minutes.

Now, a lap dance at Spirrero-R-R-R-R-I know costs $20 for a topless. Oh, really? Yeah. That's why you got to go. It's $20 for a topless, especially in the valley. Half price, I just doubled my dancing, yes? Yeah. So, no, I literally got 15 dancing.

or if each song's three minutes, 45 minutes worth of fun. From the same girl. She was British. Oh, yeah. Recording. That's hot because that's like a sophisticated stripper. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, that's hot a shit. A classy lady of the night. I'm pretty sure there's... I'm pretty sure a night. I'm pretty sure a night. Erin, have you ever told someone to fake an accent to pick up women? That's a pretty good technique. I've never told that.

We love an accent. It's true. Have you ever faked an accent with a guy? Because guys love that shit. Australian, British? terrible, but like water, water. That's so hot. I'm getting the heat sweats right now.

Oh, see? Okay, thank you. So, but long story short, I spent $300. $300. $45 minutes worth of lap dances. I was so drunk, I'm pretty sure I got three lap dances. And then. Probably from five women, though.

That's why I was so much. I think I really fucked it out. And that won't happen at a burlese club. Like, if you walk in there and somehow lose $330, like, you've been robbed at gunpoint. So I think I'm gonna ease off on the strip clubs And do the burlesh shows from now on Because you've been robbed at gunpoint

Or you got two drinks at the bar Yeah, exactly Yeah, exactly I forgot to mention the burlesh dancer that we saw Who invited us to the show, sugar pepper Jones I don't know what name she was to meet her? Was she there that night? Oh yeah, she was great

She was great! We all made her name, it was nuts Hey, sugar pepper Jones, thank you for showing the show A good time, appreciate it. Yay! All right, so, so Stereos. So, Stereo. So last episode, Aaron, just to catch you up. So Assyrios came in that last episode, and during his problem, it got a little bit derailed.

And we started talking about, like, some feminist talking points and things and about how women are called bossy. And according to the comments, you guys grew vaginas, and this turned into the view. Don't get you guys, dickhead. I love this. Continue. So, I want to get your opinion on this, Eric. Oh, you'll get it. Don't worry.

Good, good. So this woman wrote in Assyria, as a woman listener from the show, her name's Marie. She says, Maddox, I'm rather disappointed by your guest. this week as he decided he was speaking for all women and how hard it is for women. Well, who else is going to speak for them? I was going to say, first of all, a guy speaking for women, that's a little ridiculous. Oh, that's sexist. That's sexist to say it's wrong for a guy to speak on behalf of, what, guys can't speak

on behalf of women just because they have a dick? That's sexist. That's sexist. That's sexist. That's sexist. This entire conversation has gendered overtones that I don't like. Why can't people speak about people? Shut up.

You can. You can. yelling is going to make me shoot myself in the face. I'm with you. I'm sorry. I agree. All right. Everyone calm down. We're so excited. We're excited. I said the, I made the mildest, like, pro-female comments. Hold on. Hold on. Let me give my opinion. I'll give my opinion. Let's get, let's get through this, this email. It's a bit of a long one. He said, she said, excuse me, she says, so he was speaking on behalf of all women. And he says, I am, she says, I am one.

Provid. I am also an engineer. She says, I'm also an engineer. And I am way tired of men telling me how hard it is for me. They're just as bad as sex as fuckwits who used to think that playing grab ass with interns was acceptable. Yes, that happened to me lest you think that at the end of this tirade, I'm pretending sexism doesn't exist. Because they're perpetuating the idea that being called names is somehow harassment. You know something? These whiners with their wage gap and banning bossy can suck it. If you're cowed by the word bossy, congratulations.

You've just proven that you're not going to make it in the real world where people could care about how your needs aren't being met. I've earned the respect to my coworkers, male and female, because I do my job and I do it well, and I don't get weepy when someone calls me names. She says, modern feminist would have you believe that the world is full of sexists that want to crush your poor little woman's spirits. Well, I got news for them. They're right, but they're not only doing it to women, and it isn't sexism. The world is trying to cut, excuse me, the world is going to try to crush you no matter what you do or who you are.

It's up to you to show the world that you should get the respect you deserve. And by the way, I don't feel like I need representation in a movement. movie to make me feel good about myself, yada, yada, yada. Wow. As they took it. Yeah. Are you sure this was written by a woman? Because it sounds like a guy just put a bunch

of talking points together. Yeah, I agree with you. There's a lot going on in there. This is a honey trap here. I cut it down, actually. There was more in here. Oh, then it must have been a woman. That's probably true, actually. Well, there's a point in there that

always annoys me about the feminist talk in general. And then I'll answer since I'm a girl too. Yeah, I want to hear her. It's that, yeah, the world is, everyone in the world is trying to destroy you and take your stuff all the time. Right. Like, it's not because of your sex. It's just, yeah, that's a good thing to use.

Like, if you're weak on it, if you can be exploited by it, we'll use it. Because everyone's trying to take what you have all the time. What do you have, Sharon? Here's the deal, though. Okay, I'm going to use a real good example in politics. The fact that women don't earn the same amount of money as men in the same jobs. That's a... Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Because I am not a girl who's like, oh, my God. I'm actually very pro-man. I love men. I actually have gotten a lot of awesome perks because I'm a girl and guys or... Whatever. All I'm saying... A lot of dick picks. Is that one of the perks of being a woman?

Oh, we'll get to that. Yeah. And that comes with that. But here's the deal. Seriously, though, like, I am not a girl who's like, oh, my God, men and they're trying to take things away and stuff. There are some unfair things, but I also think that there's a lot of fairness. So I'm one of those rare girls, perhaps, that's... It's like, no, I don't see a lot of unfairness.

But in terms of money, there is some unfairness. And if you're in a field that's mostly men, I think that it can be hard for women. I will say that too. Because they do have to prove themselves a little more. Everybody pull up a chair. Yeah, I know. Here it goes. Let's do this.

Literally tonight. May I got, make it fast. The audience knows the wage gap is a myth. We all know the wage gap is a myth. It's just not what they say it is. It's actually like seven, seven, And they're... Seven percent what?

Seven percent difference between men and women. But why is there even that? Because they compare weird jobs. No, no, no. That's not it. That's after they've controlled for all those variables. After they've controlled for jobs and education and experience, et cetera, the remaining gap is about 7 percent, five to seven percent.

Okay. Part of that reason is that women are less likely to negotiate for salaries. And on average, they found that women who do negotiate for salaries, find that their salaries are 7 percent more on average. But here's what I would say, though. Well, and women do. Here's an example. My mom is a retired professor with her PhD.

She's asked for raises and got a few, but all of the guys in her field, in her department still made more than her. And she found out through a weird way, and it's a weird thing. She's super qualified. Actually, it has more qualifications than some of her colleagues did.

Now, listen, there's all these different factors that could be at play, but I do think there's some disparity in some way, you know, for so many different reasons. But I'm not one to say, women never are fairly paid. I'm not one to say that either. And look, this is what I said last time.

I'll just say to get one more time. We don't have to go too nuts on this. I just feel like it's, I feel like there are areas in our culture and society where. Oh my God. Get a violin behind this. That's the fuck. It's like a totally different guy right now. Here's a voicemail.

He's a dip in the comments, I think. Ceres got beat up so much in the comment. Here, let me just play this. Hey, guys. I was listening to the last episode with. you and Asterios and you guys were talking about virginity shaming and you know you guys are

actually getting into some pretty deep stuff and you know it was actually kind of touching and then it made me wonder hey Maddox what kind of maxi-pats do you for the kind of wings or the kind of without fucking pussy. Is that what this guy was talking about? I get it now. What an asshole! You know this piece of shit? I got

a real comment from someone. So Aaron that's the other thing we talked about last time was virginity stigma And basically that if you are a virgin... For guys or girls. For both. It's actually, it exists for both. More for guys, definitely. I know some guy virgins who are like 30 and above and...

Whoa. That's the reaction. Exactly. And I did it. Ooh, that's unacceptable. I got a comment from this guy... I was going to say unusual, but... No, no, no, no, no.

Unacceptable. Listener, listener Jason sent in this email that said, I'm currently 29-year-old male living in upstate New York, and I have been a listener since the start of the podcast. I want to say that I was one of these chumps that put sex on a pedis and as a result didn't have sex despite multiple opportunities in the past. I am and have always been a large man and was given no attention by girls in my high school, so I didn't even have my first kiss or lose my virginity until I was 20.

However, that went badly shortly after I chose to blame myself and go off the market. After much thought about your debunking of the sex mythos, I decided to forego all my insecurities and put myself out there. Thanks to Tinder, I have met multiple women, so I'm not as undesirable as I thought, and most recently met a woman who was into the whole friends with benefits idea. Thanks to her, I'm getting sexes and booty calls all the time. But if it wasn't for you guys and this show, I wouldn't have realized what an ass I'd been,

nor would I have put myself out there. Forever a fan, Jason. P.S., all the fucking cheap fucking fans needed by the bonus episodes, which we're going to work on season two. They're on iTunes now, yeah. They're on iTunes. Thank God. They're all fucking finally on iTunes. And season two is coming soon, guys.

Thanks for listening to the movie show. I want that guy to write back in three weeks with that she's okay with friends with benefits shit. Oh, I've been there, man. And I've had some girls like that. No, some girls are into it. Robin's nodding over there. Right?

Robin, you're on my side, right? Let's see how long that lasts. She's nodding, yes, yeah. No, no, no, no. Here's the deal in L.A. All bets are off, and there's definitely girls who aren't looking for a relationship here.

Yeah, definitely. Especially older women who just want a dude who can actually last long enough, which is usually a younger guy. I said it. Yeah. You know what? There's a stigma around not lasting long enough.

Who cares if you only last two seconds? Fuck it. What is she going to do? Un-fuck you? Too late, bitch. You're a problem now, lady. You gotta go. Terrible.

So many victims. But younger guys are eager to please, see. Younger than the guys in here, I'm saying. Like 20-somethings? Young guys are eager to please older women. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I don't want to.

And we all agree. Yeah. You'll go to Chow Town right away, right, buddy. Yeah. I mean, if I feel like it. Chow Town. Yeah. Chow town, right, Aaron?

That's amazing. That's a hot phrase. I've heard it before, but I like it. Sometimes I take the shortcut straight to Poundown Town. Because it's just faster for me. Yeah, yeah, it's all about you and the lady suffers and hates it. Not necessarily sometimes. You can't say it out loud, but let's be honest.

As long as you shuffers in silence, I don't care. I got one more voicemail. One more voicemail. And then let's get to some problems. Good day, boys. Missed me, Bono. Did you miss me? Oh, he's been so busy making the world a better place.

You know, boys, I'm always so. and big problems. Sometimes I turn problems into solutions. Caves and point. Peace dribblets, a real solution when you're ass-faced in a Walmart garrinating on a self-checkout station. Why wouldn't you?

Especially when you're caught on fireball whiskey. America's favorite pseudo-wiskey and proud sponsor of you too. You got honey whiskey now? Another time, after a long night of boozing. shut me chatty Uber drive up When I fill me knickers with a spicy Havana almond

It's no acting on such a success boy Until next time Here's a wishing year a rainbow Bono out So Bono had nothing specific to say about that last episode No He was just like saying hi It was a clip show

And he just listed a bunch of things It was a little best stuff Bano Bano likes a call in from time to time He gets drunk He gets lost He gets confused and he calls in. He was in a shopping, big shopper at Walmart, Bono.

I'm just saying. Bono from U2. He's a big fan of the show. I'm impressed. That was Bono. That was Bono. That was the real Bono. The real Bono.

So, Aaron, that listener, we had one of those readers write in and say that Tinder helped him solve his virginity problem. Oh, I heard it. Which I think leads us to your first problem this week. What is it? So pissed. I got to brace myself for this. So here's what happened, boys.

and listeners. Okay, so I'm on, as I, boys, here's what happened men, boys. So here's the deal. So I was on Tinder for like a couple years. All of a sudden, like a few months ago, I decided to switch my account to a dating expert account.

So I was on there. That basically means that if you were to go onto my profile, which I can't now, because I'm banned, you would see my pictures and then below, you would see a really nice thing I wrote on there saying, hi, hi, guys. My name is Aaron Tillman, Dating Advice Girl,

and I'm here to help you. pick good profile pictures and help you message like girls when you meet up when you match up with which by the way guys such a valuable tip uh thank you right it is absolutely valuable if you have wait what's the valuable tip well have have one of your attractive female friends look at your profile and pick the right pictures for you it's just ridiculous the pictures guys are posted i did that and they all just made fun of mine so i said fuck you well these aren't good friends then yeah get some new girlfriends that's my advice so so you were yeah you had your uh dating professional Yes. So here's the problem. A lot of guys don't read the profile. I get it. I had some cute pictures as my pictures, right? So some guys were just like, oh, cute girl, I'm going to swipe right. Here's what happened. So some of the guys, once they swipe me and like message me and they said, hi, can I take you out? I said, I'm actually here.

off guys with this strategy. And that's what happened. So I was like, they were like, oh, I like take you out. I'm like, I'm actually here for networking and to help you with your profile. How's it going on Tinder? Most of the guys, 90% of the guys were like, oh, my God, thank you so much. It was actually surprising. They were like, thank you so much.

I don't know what I'm doing on here. I don't know what to say to girls. Please let me, please help me. Like a few douchebags were so pissed off. They were like, why can't I take you out? I said, read my profile. They read it. And then they were like, oh my God, you F and B.

I can't believe blah. I'm like, listen, dude. I did a measure of present. I said it in the beginning. Here's my profile and they flagged me, which led to me getting banned on Tinder. Yeah. What my point, no, no, no, wait, real quick.

My point is there's freaking dudes. There's freaking dudes. Like, I've had guys message me with, like, really, like, scary, violent stuff. And they're probably not even getting banned. The fact that I'm on there helping guys, most guys are like, yay, and I get banned, that's effing crap. So I've sent a few emails to Tinder, and I'm currently tweeting the CEO being like, Hey dude, eight years as an expert here to help people on your thing, please unband me. So we'll see what happens.

Wow. So your problem is what? Getting unfairly banned from things digitally, let's say. On the internet. You could just be getting unfairly bands. Unfairly banned. Unfairly banned. Unfairly banned.

Because it's not the internet. It's not. But still. All I'm going to say is just to play devil's advocate for a second, which is something that men don't like to do. Okay. It's kind of like you went into a strict. strip club dressed as a stripper

and then when people ask you for a lap dance you're like well I'll take your 20 but I'll give you advice on how to get a better lap dance Oh, serious I'm gonna call me a little enough There was no exchange I'll tell you that strip club analogy It's like going to a strip club and there's a woman

dressed as a stripper but guess what She's the cocktail waitress She's not going to take your clothes off It's like going into a strip club Except it's a library And you're like what Why the fuck would they call this a strip club? It's not one.

No, no. Aaron was not misleading. She was not misrepresenting herself. Yes, she is. Isn't everyone on Tinder to hook up? Yeah. No, no. So on there to promote their businesses and stuff and get, like, followers on Instagram, etc.

Long story, sure, all I'm saying is from beginning, I had everything written in my profile. So at no point did I bait and switch anybody or anything. And when they matched me, I said, hi, I'm Aaron Tillman the Dating Advice Girl. I never at once said, hey, baby, let's... It seems like a poor user experience. If I was Tinder, I don't think I'd want that happening on my dating network. Hey, well, then message me and say that rather than banning me like an undercover douchebag. No, because here's a thing.

No, because here's a thing. Because now Aaron can't use her account if she actually wanted to use the service for dating as you can. Well, couldn't you just get a new email address? I mean... No, no, because it's... Is it... IP locked or something? It's tied to your Facebook account.

Oh, okay. It happens as you log in, it jumps to Facebook, and then it just goes back to Tinder, jumps back to Facebook, so it won't let you go. It just keeps going back and forth, then says, server unavailable. So when you get unbanned, are you going to be doing this, are you going to be running this ad still? No, it's not an ad. It's not an ad. It's not an ad.

It's not an ad. No, no, no, listen. How is it not an ad? Because I'm live interacting with dudes and, like, actually helping them and interacting, so it's not like a cut and pace. Presumably you want to make money off of this stating advice. I'm offering them a service for free. And then I, so what I was doing is... Is there an upsell at any point?

At some point, I asked them for their email if they'd like to give it to me. And then when they give it to me, I say, I'm going to add you to my newsletter. And in my newsletter, I'll be giving free dating tips and other things like events and stuff. Which is pretty soft CTA, actually. It's not... But yeah, it's... It could be worse. No, it's great.

Some guys opted out. And they were like, thank you so much. I'm not interested. And I said, you know what? No problem. Good lot. Thank you so much. Here's the thing. She's not misrepresenting herself.

She's there to provide a service for a lot of guys who need it because guys kind of stuff. And if you want to talk about misrepresenting yourself on Tinder, yeah, let's talk about those bullshit pictures of you on a yacht with your buddies hanging out just all the time on a yacht. Oh, snowboarding? You got a fucking baby tiger? Are you talking about Dick's Tinder? Don't make fun of Dick's Tinder account, please. Oh, maybe I should get you to look at my Tinder account while you're here. That would be funny.

Let's see this thing. Let's see it. Hold on. It's actually an ad for my reality company. Is that wrong? Not the same thing. You dick it. No, because it's dating. It's dating related. If I went to a bank and I was there to do a transaction

and someone was there saying, hey, I'm not a teller. I'm a stripper. Right. Give me a 20. And now that I have it, I'm not a stripper. I'm not going to give you dating advice. I'm not a teller, but if you're in the market for a loan, I can help you out. I'd be like, okay, thank you or no thank you. Either way, I'd be fine because it's related to the banking.

I'm just saying if you're on Tinder of a social network that is purely an appearance-based hookup platform, it may not be the best social channel to advertise your service. This is what you're doing. For dating? For guys.

This is what you're doing. Would you do it on Backpage? No. Why? What is Backpage? Backpage is for hookers. It's like a classified ads for hookers. What's the URL?

Backpage.com slash biggest save $10 your next book or servicing. Hey, where are they going to sleep? Here's the effect of what you're doing, because there's a great feeling when you get a match on any of these stupid things. Like, especially, girls get tons of them. They don't care.

Guy, you get like, it's like the, it's like there's something in the air. You get that, note, that little bubble one pops up. Yes. Ooh, I might get late. Dick might be getting late. this Friday after taking this chick to a wine bar. Yeah, but that's an assumption.

That's an assumption. But what you're doing, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. There's couples on Tinder, too. What you're doing is destroying that hope. Like, you're, it's all for nothing. You're taking that dream. You're taking that whole, that, that, that dream, and you're crushing it. So you deserve it.

That's what I'm saying. No, if I just had pictures on there without any words, you would be correct. Who don't matter? Who goes to Tinder for the words? I'll tell you not. No, no, no. Let's see. Asteris, you've never done this with a girl.

Girls read profiles. Yes. Weird. But guys don't. No, no, no. Which is the point. 90% of the guys I matched with were like, I see what you're doing. I love it.

Some guys were asking me what my marketing strategy was and that's really smart. They were like, thank you so much. I have no idea what I'm doing on here. But we say whatever we want, Erin. No, no, no, I'm saying. Or whatever it takes. What I'm saying is, we say whatever it takes. What I'm saying is 90% of the guys got what I was doing and we're okay with it and happy with it.

It was the 10% that were pissed that didn't read my profile that flag me and got me banned. Right, because they're trying to date you. Yeah, well, they're also just trying to- Too bad if you didn't read it. They're also just trying to jerk off and look at pictures of Aaron. Sure. Exactly, that too. So you're making a point, Aaron. You said that there are a lot of couples on Tinder, too.

What were you going to say about couples? So basically what I'm saying is that, and there's people, there's like bands trying to promote themselves. If you're just looking at the pictures, like, I get it. You're going to swipe and match. And then at some point when you match, someone's going to say, oh, I'm here for this. Oh, I'm here to promote my band. Oh, I'm here to help you. with dating advice. Oh, I'm here to find a third person

to swing with with my wife. So that's the thing. The point is the pictures matter first and then after that, at some point there's some level of conversation or words you're reading from their profile and then you're like, oh, this person would be great or not or they're here for business. You know, imagine you're a fat fuck who

never, ever gets a match. And it's been a year you've been swiping right so much. I don't know if it's right or left. You've been swiping positive so much. You're right. I swear to do. If Serios has a piece of ham hooked up to an electric drill, he just holds it over the Tinder app. Right, right, right, right, right, right. I have to replace the ham every day.

I have a lot of ham if anyone wants to come over for BLT. But it's like, imagine you're, look, just imagine you're some fat fucking. You finally get that thing, and it's like, ding, ding, you might get a thing. And then you read it. Destroying hopes. Let me tell you, the guys who were the most pissed off were not chubby gentlemanly guys. Those guys actually were really grateful that I was helping us. Yeah, because they need the help.

It was the freaking douchebag. writ, like, alpha dudes who were pissed because I wasn't doing what they wanted, and then they flagged me. You know, serious, I've had this experience on Tinder. I have been looking through girls, and I have, like, a bunch of different criteria on whether or not I'll swipe right or left. Oh, what are these criteria? You can't get away with saying that shit. For example, for example, first of all, if she has more hair than you? Real funny, dick.

If she's wearing video games on her shirt, is that a criteria? What? No, dick. I wasn't calling you your name either What's that gets turned on by smart people thing? What's that? What's that? What's that gets turned on by smart people? Oh, Sapio-sexual.

There's sapiens sexual. I swipe left like a motherfucker. But here's the thing. If I'm looking at girls, yes, yes, because that's annoying shit. I've dated. I've dated one, I don't want to put up with it again. Oh, boy.

To principals. Why, why? What came with it? Oh, my gosh. Lectures. Every date was a three-part lecture. Oh, that's interesting. And the three parts.

It coincided... That's the foreplay. It coincided with appetizers, the main course, and then drinks afterwards. Every single portion of the date had a lecture. Different lecture, yeah. Oh, let me tell you about the wage gap. Let's do it. I didn't even say there was a wage game.

God damn it. I said it spoke to a larger truth. All right, let's get going. Back to Aaron's point. And you like doing that, the lecturing. I feel like that's something you might do. But girls love to be lectured. That's the thing that one of the guy was in control who's

smart. We want to be lectured? Well, yeah, obviously. You love it, Aaron. Alpha women do not want to be lectured. An alpha what? Alpha women, and I am not an alpha woman. Dick just learned of a new phrase and concept in his life.

Is that like business woman? Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's true. There are some air quotes for those of you not watching that. So, so serious, back to Aaron's point. I have experienced that from the male point of view where I have matched girls on on Instagram, excuse me, on Tinder, who are just there to promote

their TV show they're working on or their Instagram but the important distinction here and this is everything is that they were not up front about it and it pissed me off when they're not Aaron was and it's their fault for being horny jerk off losers

for not even glancing at their what if she says in her profile like hey guys I have an STD but I'm still I'm still interested in meeting you what if I was transgender or something and I didn't and I put that and someone didn't read it yeah it's totally your fault We can all agree that, like, perhaps the problem is Tinder shouldn't be trying to monetize its platform like this.

Like, if Tinder just had, like, a final 50 cents a month. Now I'm feeling my libertarian agenda. Oh, look, I'm not saying. I'm not saying. But it's a bad user experience. It is a bad user experience. Look, I don't think you're a monster. You got a new nickname coming, buddy.

It's communist stereos. God damn you people. So what is your, what was your point? That's the point. It's like, Tinder shouldn't be doing that. That's stupid. Wait, wait, wait, wait. What do you mean?

Tinder shouldn't be doing the Mindy project. Well, yeah, it was neat. Yeah, because obviously Tinder is allowing for these premium profiles, like a show like the Mindy Project, for example, bought a bunch of profiles on Tinder to promote to promote their show. Now, that's confusing to their users. Right. That's not the user's fault. It's Tinder's fault for selling that ad space.

They do run ads now. Like they'll interrupt your swiping and masturbating. That's different because that's... The run a Bud Light ad. No, but... That's a normal part of the internet experience. Like, yeah, you see a banner ad every now. Okay, so the Mindy project, for those who don't know,

Mindy Kaling, she's from the office. She's Kelly Kapoor from the office. And she has her own show, she has her own successful book. Very, very popular, right? And for a while... Mindy... No, I'm just explaining to the list. Not only on Hulu.

Biggest problem slash Mindy. $10 off. So the Mindy project, right? She had a bunch of Tinder profiles, and I matched one of them because I have an interesting story. I know Mindy in real life. I've met her a bunch of times. She used to date one of my friends.

And I thought, oh, this is kind of interesting. This is fun. And I started trying to talk to her. I'm like, hey, Mindy, it's me. You know, hey, what's up? How's it going? How's it been? Let's have sex.

What's your dad like? And nothing. Of course, because it's just a stupid ad for this thing, but it didn't disclose that and it pissed me out. But Aaron, what you were doing is honest and forthright. Thank you. No problem. Let's, this is a campaign.

Let's hit the Tinder CEO. Get Aaron Unband. I don't think tweeting the CEO is going to help you. Hey, well, guess what? I have a decent following, so I'm going to do it again. I'm pissed. I'll tell you what. Listen, I'll help you out here.

For everyone that goes to Devastatorpress.com slash Megamand2, and by the copy of a Mega Man comic, I will tweet once to the CEO of Tinder. Again, that's Devastatorpress.com slash Mega Man 2. I got to run, guys. Oh, do you want to do the ad before I split? Yeah, I want to get my Tinder pictures. Oh, yeah.

Let's do that real quick, and then we'll get to that. Real quick, okay. Oh, yeah. Tell me what you think about this. This is my Tinder profile. Looking nice first picture. There's a dog involved. Oh yeah, me and my dog.

On the main picture. That's adorable. Smiling. You can see your teeth. So your dog. Yeah. Dick, your dog. Oh, it's not your dog? That's my parents' dog. I mean, Sonny lives with Dick. That's why it's a family dog.

The next picture is you in a Vatican outfit with a Vatican hat. The Pope. The Pope. Holding a baby. Aaron, I told him not to have that on there. I think that's a bad idea. Why? Why do you think it's not going?

He's just polarizing. I don't know. Why is polarizing bad? I guess if you're looking for a girl who really gets your humor, it's great. I don't know. I heard from that. You're a funny guy. Thank you for saying that.

Aaron, uh, Aaron, I said no because if a girl or a guy sees a baby in the picture, oh man, turn off zone. Turn that's the thing too. And this very much looks like a parody picture, but generally speaking, holding a baby,

you should say, this is my baby, this is my brother's baby. This is, you know, say who's the baby is a baby. So it's not your baby I found. I found the same.

They say that, perfect. Okay. Okay, wait, there's another picture. Some Gatorade for it. The third picture is the same as the first picture. Oh, that's a glitch. Well, then, you should fix that because I hate that crap. Your error is that your argument is predicated on honesty and you're talking to dick. Yeah.

The Prince of Lies. The fourth picture is same as the second. Wait, it's all the same pictures. That's a glitch then. I don't know. Or is that a strategy for humor? No, that's not a strategy for humor. Okay, well, I'm already annoyed because you've got to get rid of all these repeats.

pictures. Well, at least it's not an ad. It's six pictures of two pictures. Oh, Dick, Dick-Tastard. But no, otherwise, I didn't, and see, this is the thing. To your point, I didn't read your profile. Oh, because you were so uninterested in my duplicate pictures? No, just because I was like trying, I don't know why. I didn't, though.

And so I get why some guys might not have read my profile. I'm still pissed, though, I'm still pissed. Elisa, wasn't an ad, that's right. I wish that had gone better because then I would need a new bed. The seal, the steel. Today's episode is brought to you by Canada. Go to... Speaking of ads.

Go to casper.com. Perfect segue. Go to casper.com slash biggest and use promo code biggest to get $50 toward any mattress purchase. Casper is an online retailer of premium, premium mattresses for a fraction of the price you can get them to store. It's a mattress. The master's industry has inherently forced consumers into paying notoriously high markups. That's absolutely true. Casper provides resilience, long-lasting, supportive comfort.

and the mattresses are one of a kind. A combination of premium latex foam. Premium latex foam. Thank you, NASA. And memory foam. Vote up NASA. So, Stereos. You have a Casper mattress, right?

I bought one because of the ad on this show. Really? I used the code. I got $50 off. $50 off. Good deal, right? Yeah, and it was great. It showed up in five days. It's really, really comfortable.

Whoa, whoa, wait a minute, wait a minute. So sorry. Did you watch it come out of the box? Oh, yeah. How was that? My phone was done. I wanted to vine it for you guys. Yeah, it definitely comes out of the box, like, the stave puff marshmallow man growing, like in Ghostbusters.

Like, it's just like, it's this awesome thing. It's so much fun. It's worth the price of admission. Yeah, exactly. The UPS guy was like, oh, this is going to be fun, like, because he's clearly delivered a million of these. And it's, I, you know, I moved to a new place, so I had it on the floor for a while, and it was really, really comfortable. And it's comfortable on a box spring. It's a great mattress.

Super comfortable. Good give. I like those mattresses a lot. And $50 off these mattress. that's a really good discount. What's the code? Biggest. Primo code biggest.

Biggest. And we'll link to it on our website. And if you don't like it, you got 100 days to send it back. Oh, really? Yes. You. That's so much can happen in 100 days.

So you can fuck the shit out of a lot of prostitutes on that mattress. And then you can just really get. Why did guests always ruin our ads? Every guest comes in here and makes some horrible ad. You can turn it into a goddamn cheese marshmallow. And then on day 99 go beep-p-pup-pup and camera out of a fuck pillow for you. Come pick it up. Or not.

I'm not doing that. I like the mattress a lot. I'm sure they're lovely mattresses. They are. They're wonderful. Aaron, there's one right there. Oh,

I'll test it out. You tried my Tinder profile. I'll lie down on this mattress. I will test it, yes. Serios, thanks for coming by, buddy. Sorry, I got to go. Miss you guys. I'll be back.

All right, you'll be back. Excellent. Before we move on, I got a problem, but, Aaron, I just one more thing to your point. And then I want to tell everyone what the Tinder CEO's Twitter is. Oh, yeah, let's hear it. Let's hear that first. Okay, so his name is very short and easy.

It's Sean Rad. And so it's Sean Seen, S-E-A-N-Rad. So at S-E-A-N-Rad. At Sean Rad. That's it. At Sean Rad. Tinder CEO, there he is. I think there's a lower-level guy you can target first. Oh, no.

That's who I've been emailing, and it's all form emails. We'll do it. It's the worst. We'll see what the listener base of this show can do. But, Aaron, to your point, if I go to a movie and I see, if I see an ad for Cheetos or Mercedes or BMW, I'm pissed. But if I see an ad for another movie, I'm okay with it because that's related to what I'm doing.

Exactly! So I get that. That's why I think that what you're doing is okay. You get me. You totally get me. Guys, I have a problem. I would report that as spam. I'm sorry.

You're a spam, dick. Your profile's literally spam. You're spamming the same fucking picture ten times, dickhead. Exactly. That's a good picture. That's my line. Hey, do you think your dad could help me figure out my Tinder profile? Oh my gosh.

Oh, God. I don't understand, but, you. Well, if you do. If you do be, excuse me, if you are successful on Tinder and you take a girl back to lay down on your casper mattress or guy, Aaron, if you take a girl or guy back, lay down on your casper mattress, don't do the following thing because this is a problem. Spooning. Spooning. Spooning is now a problem. That's right. My problem this week, guys, is spooning victims. This is a thing now, right? Spooning victims? Yeah. Now you might be asking, how the fuck in this horse shit world do we live in where everything's already a problem is? Spooning a problem. Yeah, how is it?

Yeah, that is what I'm thinking. Yeah, too. Yeah, well, here comes slate.com to the fucking rescue. Oh. Yeah, against spooning, a manifesto, this article. It's written, this guy on Slate, he's complaining about spooning. He says, if the argument against spooning were only a physical one, I would not feel so strongly. After all, many people are gluttons for punishment.

Who am I to deny their strange pleasure? But there's a deeper issue, a troubling aspect. of Spooning that emerges in the dimension of ideology of what it all means. So then he goes on, right? He's talking about the psychology of Spooning. He says, Big... What the hell?

He goes, Big Spooning. What's this guy's name? Do you know it? Oh, I didn't write that down. He sounds like a fucking idiot. Yeah. He's one of the associate editors at Slate. He's not like some freelance writer they hired to write some bullshit article to get clicks.

This is like one of their associate editors at Slate. He wrote this article. Director, you might say. There's an influence of the creation and whatever. Here's his argument. He says, Big spoons are manly and will take care of you, provided that you let them use you to take care of themselves. Little spoons are fragile, passive creatures that need to be held and kept safe.

This, of course, is fundamentally a sexist arrangement. What? Oh, my God. One that casts the big spoon as the man and the little spoon as the woman. To say that this is a power imbalance is built into all acts of spooning, whichever the sex is engaged is not, I think, an overstatement. He's saying that in every act of spooning... You kind of like translate that out of like college liberal arts speak to me.

From college... Can you say that the way like a man would say it? He's saying that if you spoon someone, that it's a sexist act because there's a power imbalance. That's what he's saying. That's assuming that the man is the big spoon. Right. I've spoon dudes before as the big spoon. Yeah.

Yeah, I think it's mostly men. No, no, but what I'm saying is... No, but it's happened, right? But yeah, I'm saying that's... He's making a bunch of assumptions there. Indeed. That's all. I would argue that spooning is always already a power play.

A perverse strategy. Yeah, it's not just a power play dick, it's a perverse strategy by which we nightly enact the unjust relations of the big and the little privilege that plague her society on every level. No, we need a purge. He wants to be spooned. That's what he's pissed.

So the reason he's writing this article, because he says he's a gay guy. And he says that... Oh, okay. Well, that's a big... That's a big part of the story we need to know. But then it's two guys spooning. So, why is it?

Who gives a shit? No one's the big and little spoon. Like, whatever. Do whatever the fuck you want. If you feel like a big spoon... And by the way, spoon... It's just a fucking metaphor because spoons sit on top of each other like that in a dish rack.

You don't have to call spoons. Call what are... Called C's. Two Cs. Who cares? Two Cs. Call a couple parentheses. What a...

Shell. Call it a shell. Stack a couple of shells together. Macaronies. Okay. Noodles. A couple of pieces of paper. We're just papering.

We're papering. A couple of scissors together in a bed. No, they're not scissuring. Why not? Why? So he's saying, but he's saying in every act of spooning, there's a power imbalance that is sexist. That's what he's saying. Well, yeah.

Okay. And he says, it does annoy me that girls want to be, like sometimes it annoys me that they want it to, too much. I know what you're saying. I don't really want to get... I don't really want to choke on your fucking hair and have my arm fall asleep for an hour and a half.

So can you just like not keep trying to grind your ass into my crotch? Oh, that sounds terrible. It's so annoying when girls grind their butt into your penis. When they want to go to sleep, I'm like, yeah, all right, I'm hot. I want to just lay here. Leave me the fuck alone, right?

Did you write this article? Did you all the points he's making in this article? He says it's two. hot and my arm falls asleep. That really? Yeah. Maybe I did write this article. I don't know.

I get pretty drunk. Is this just his way of getting out of it? He sent this to it. Sometimes I do that I bring in a problem on the podcast so people around me will listen to it and go like, oh shit, he's talking about me. I'll stop doing it. Maybe he forwarded this to his boyfriend or whatever. Yeah, I'm sure.

I'm sure he had to. His boyfriend's not subscribed or the other associate editor or whatever the fuck they're doing over at Slate. Aaron, you know when a girl tries to like trick you. into it and they're like she's like kind of nuzzling up. Scooge is over. Yeah and it's like oh all right you want some attention was like oh no you just want me to wrap my big muscular arms around you so you can fall asleep. Yes but I see this coming. Guys have done that to me too because I'm somebody who needs some space when I'm sleeping because I get hot.

I'm very much I relate to you guys. You are hot. Thank you. But like meaning thank you and I and I sweat a lot. So I'm like okay now. So I'm like you pull the brakes. You got a break sound effect on there? She went from supermodel to swamp thing. I did. I did. It's true. But what I'm saying is when a dude wants to cuddle me or spoon me, I'm like, dude, get off.

I'm hot and sweating. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get what you're saying. I'm the girl version of this. Right. No, I've seen it on both ends. I've had girls who, like, who sweat a lot because, you know, I'm a steamy dude. And they're around me and they're nervous, you know, they start sweating bullets.

And they tell me, you know, not right now. I'm too sweaty. And I'm like, well, baby, go towel off and come back to bed without any clothes or a towel. But, yeah, I would never get upset. with a guy for wanting to spoon me. Yeah, whatever. I would be very upset if a guy wanted to spoon me. You guys were talking.

Really? It's man love. Well, the way of Cirrus woke up a yesterday, we don't know. With a blanket on him, tenderly laid on top of him. I used a selfie stick to pick up a blanket. Fair enough. So he goes on. So he's complaining about big and little privilege that plague our society on every level.

Oh, my. Oh, that's a sound about. He says, we can do better than this. What we need is conscious cuddling. This is what he's suggesting. This is his solution. What we need is conscious cuddling, cuddling that takes into account the realities of our bodies.

So easily taxed and the pressures of fallen social systems that unnecessarily sorts us into limiting categories of big and little. Luckily, there's a solution at the ready. It's called cuddle sitting up. No, no. Sorry, what is that? Vertical Cuddle. It says, isn't that called a hug?

This fucking crybaby whiner, this fucking crybaby whiner, cry baby bitch, he says, vertical cuddling removes much of the risk of physical discomfort and all of the semiotic violence that spooning conveys. Violence. Semiotic violence.

That's ridiculous. This sounds like the ramblings of an insane person. Have you ever heard the expression? Sometimes a cigar. is just a cigar. He's reading all kinds of unbelievable, insane shit into this. Semiotic violence, Sean.

What's semiotic? I had to look it up to him. Like, what the fuck is semiotic violence? Semiotic, it means symbolic. No, it means symbolic. So if you do this, it is symbolically violent towards your partner. Because you are instigating your big supremacy,

your big privilege over a small person. Oh, gee. Would you ever have a small person spoon you? That's what I'm saying? She's like a jet pack. Yeah. It's happening. You know what, Sean?

It happened. I dated a girl for a while where she would try to spoon me from behind and she would curl up and I was in this hotel one time. Was it a monkey? Are you sure it was a girl? It was a girl. Their feet only go down to like just past your knees. Oh, it's hilarious. I was in a hotel one time in Hawaii and there was mirrors on the ceiling.

I'm like, oh, this is, this is wonchy. Yeah, this is sexy. What's going on here? So she came up behind me and cuddled me. Uh-huh. And, like, on my back and then said, hey, look up. And I looked up and she said, I'm a papoose. I'm like, what are you talking about?

And she goes, papoose, you know? And I looked it up on, on Google. It's basically like one of those satchels that Native Americans carry their babies on. Okay. Behind their back. It was totally ridiculous. It happened. I think it's cute.

Yeah, whatever. Who gives a shit? It wasn't semiotic violence. I didn't feel violated. I didn't feel like she was instigating her privilege. over me? Hello. Exactly.

Ridiculous. Stupid shit. People are looking, they finally found a fucking way to get outrage over spooning. It's ridiculous. Well, this guy's

really extrapolating out to an insane level. Yeah. It's true. He's not well. How is this received? Like, where did you find this? I've never heard of such a thing.

Wait, but he's Slate. Slate, right? Slate. Slate. So maybe he's just trying to write something that's going to be controversial. I thought that, Aaron, but this is one of the editors.

Yeah. I thought it was just another case of outrage porn because sometimes they'll hire these fly-by-night writers, freelance writers, whatever. Hey, bust out 300 words on whatever the fuck, just get his clicks. Yes. This isn't one of those cases because he's one of the associate editors at Slate.com. He has even more power and knows that maybe their viewership is down or something.

And it's like, oh, my God, I'm going to be like, I'm going to write something really ridiculous. It is bizarre to imagine this man functioning in the world out there on his own, having these arguments with people. Yeah. If spooning's an issue, then, oh, my gosh. global warming? This guy is just, he's just a really brave. Red cars are offensive to Native Americans all of a sudden. Is that true?

No, in this guy's world. I don't know. I don't even know anymore, man. People say that something's offensive. You could tell me anything that someone either believes or thinks is offensive and I would just believe it. They could say toilet paper is racist

because it's white. I'd be like, yeah, I don't know, maybe I read that on Huffington Papers. post or something? I don't know. Did you know that old toilet paper was originally black or brown and they died white because the colonials, blah, blah, blah, shut the fuck up. Stop finding a reason to be offended by everything. I know, it's true.

We're very, very sensitive in our culture. Anyway, that's my problem. Spooning, they found a way to make spooning victimized people. They found a way to be victimized by fucking spooning. Don't fucking do it, idiot. And he said vertical cuddling is the solution. Well, yeah, why is that? Did he define that?

Yeah. I do want to get, I do want my arm not to fall asleep and not to eat. so much hair. It's so stupid. Legitimate. It's legitimate. You just brush it out of the way or you blow it. I love blowing it back in their head. I just like What if she has curls? Yeah, I've been there. You can't blow curls. Yeah, but then

you stick your finger and you curl it up and put it over to the side. So it's like kind of dinking off to the side. It's funny. I love it. And also you can like lick your finger, make it really get some spit on there and then you curl it up around your finger, move it off to the side and it sticks are like moose. For everyone over eight. What should we do?

I have no advice for you. Just enjoy the spooning everybody. I'm all about the love as a dating expert. Enjoy the spooning. What kind of advice would you give this crazy lunatic for dating advice? Be the little spoon perhaps. Embrace the other side of spoon. Okay, that's my next question.

How do you trick girls into being the big spoon then? Why would you want that? Just turn over. Well, I don't know. Turn over. Shift side. Like turn. You're on the opposite side.

You can spoon whatever way you want or not spoon. And vertical spooning, he defines as sitting up, sitting on your butt. I think you're right, hugging. Because then you got an ass fight. If you turn over and she's turning over, you've got a cold war. You got a stalemate. Bring her with you when you turn. See, my ass is always cold.

And sometimes when we do the reverse spoon where it's like butt, like cheek to cheek, if a girl has a nice ass, I love it more than anything. Because it feels like you're sitting on two gloat. lobes of flesh and it's just, it's warm and it feels good. It's like, it's like coming in from a serial killer. Shut up, Sean. Yep, like usual. It's like coming in from the snow, right, on a cold winter day.

You just had a snowball fight. You're cold everywhere and your butt is numb from coldness, which my butt always is. Feel it, right? Dick feel my butt right now. Your butt is numb from coldness all the time? It's always cold and it's numb, yeah. So when I press it up against a woman's bum, it feels great. Bum against a bum against bomb.

It's a bum off. I like it. And then regular spooning almost always leads to sex because you get a boner. No, no, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, right? Smart. So lady in back, lady in back to switch it up. That's what I would say for this guy.

Or little guy in back because he's gay. But Aaron, now you're imposing size privilege in a world with semiotic violence done against people who spooned with each other. There's no answer. It's also sexist to assume that he's dating a guy just because he's gay. You know, we don't know He could be dating a woman Wait, what does that even mean? How?

I don't know. That's what my mind now, the world we're in, like that's what I think. We don't know. We don't know. We don't know. Yeah, yeah, he may not be gay normative, Aaron. He actually may be gay, gay fluid, not binary.

I don't want to make assumptions because there are so many categories now. You're both correct. Oh, barf. It's true. Dick, let's get to, let's get to your problem. Okay, I think I'm going to take this one pretty handy. Okay, that's it. Let's hear it.

I want you guys, since we're doing so much grading tonight, I want you to grade how stupid and bad my haircut looks. I was about to say something with you on a scale of yes, it looks like shit. Oh, I'm excited. Let's see this. I mean, it's embarrassing. I was going to say so. It's embarrassing.

What did you do, chop off your sideburns? What the fuck happened to your face? Let's go. Let's go. Get it all out. I had to explain this haircut to my parents. Go ahead, Sean. Looks like somebody hit golf balls over each year. Very good.

Very good. Aaron, do you have one as well? We can come back to you. These idiots can probably keep going. I don't have one. What's his name from Pulp Fiction? Ving Rames? No, no, the white...

I do look like Ving Rames, I think. The guy with his headblown. No, no, the lead. John Travolta? John Travolta? You look like a Mexican John Travolta. Great, okay, okay. Any more?

Sean? You want to repeat the same joke? The golf one was great I have seen more of your face than I've ever seen before What? So I didn't say... Yeah, science found a way to enlarge faces I didn't say anything when he walked in

Because you weren't here last week And I was like, well, is this a new thing? I don't know what's going on What happened? Yeah, I took so many steroids that my face grew I described this I described this fucking haircut To my family over the phone

Because they're not, they're out of state Yeah And these motherfuck, just back and forth My dad goes, oh, so what is that? Like a, that sounds like a mullet. And I'm like, no, it's not a fucking mullet. And my sister goes, no, no, it's more like Miley Cyrus. I'm like, yeah, let's go.

Everybody get it out of your fucking system. Bad haircuts are a huge problem. Huh? They are actually. I went to the barber and sat down and might as well have just said, can you just make me ugly? Like, can you just fuck up my, all I wanted was a trim. All I wanted was a fucking trim.

They love cutting. They love cutting. Oh, they love cutting. They don't measure, measure never cut once done. That's a barber's philosophy in my mind. I've had long hair for so long that I've forgotten the terror of sitting down in a barber's seat. I hate it. I cut my own hair. He didn't do that with scissors, did he? First of all, she.

She did it with a razor. I say, hey, just trim up, trim up the back, trim up the sides. You know, pretend like you've seen a human before. and you know what a human being's head looked like. So she grabs the razor and goes, like this, yon, on the side. I'm like, well, the answer is yes now.

I guess. You fucking jerk. Did she offer you a choice of blades or something? Look, I don't, they always do, then I don't fucking know. I'm like, I don't know all your terms. Do I go to the mechanic? And they're like, well, do you want a, do you want, like, a stiff Johnson rod or like a reverse floppy?

I'm like, you're the mechanic. You're the fucking barber. you got some kind of certificate hanging on the fucking wall here next to your barbicide. I'm so pissed because it's all... I hate the experience. It makes me feel so powerless, and I know they're going to fuck it up every time.

You feel like the little spoon. I feel just like the little spoon. It's so sexist, these fucking barbers. And I know she's just sitting there pretending she's chopping off my penis with every cut of the clippers. Why do you go to her repeatedly? Who is it? Was it one of those, like, chains,

or was it an actual barbershop? No, it's Floyd's. You know, it's like part strip. Floyd's part. They're very flirty there. They are overly flirty. This is a true story. I went to Floyd's for a while.

And I was dating someone at the time. I went to Floyd's and I came home. I was like, I think my barber was hitting on me. She goes, you think every girl's hitting on you? I'm like, well, she was. It's true. You're both right. Yeah, that's true.

You can both be right. So she's like, she wasn't hitting on him. I'm like she was. And then I went back to her again because she gave the best haircuts. She spent so much time on my head. And she, like, hit on me again. Oh.

And I came home and I'm like... How long could she have spent? Oh, seriously, Sean? She spent... Shut your fucking mouth, Sean. Are you your shit? Yeah, why are you going to get a haircut? When I did you just start writing another book

and it'll all just fall out? Well, that's the thing. I don't have much hair, dickhead. I don't have much hair, but she's still spent a long time. So what does that tell you, right? So she's hearing you on. But she was trying to find it. You're just...

Shut. You're fucking going. Get the fuck out. Delete, delete everything. Delete yourself from Earth, asshole. Fucking dick. So anyway, she's spending a lot of time. Got it.

Got it. We found the hair. Snip, done. Oh. You guys are real fucking funny with these jokes. So this woman's hitting on you. This woman's hitting on me. Yeah, I am great.

So she's hitting him on it. Yeah. Thank you. You're welcome. I got a real friend finally. It's true. My first real friend. Forever.

First friend. You're my first friend. So this one. The woman's hitting on me, right? Are you going to write the CEO of Twitter for your new friend or of Tinder for your new friend? No, Floyd's. Oh, go ahead. I'm going to write the CEO Floyd.

Anyway, so, so this woman, right? Yes, flirting. She's flirting. And here's how, like, I swear to God at one point, she's clipping my hair and stuff. And she gets around the front and kind of, like, straddles me. What? Yeah, almost like straddle. And I'm like, oh, she just must be trying to get my bangs or whatever.

And she, and then she, she like, what do you think bangs are? Okay, shut up. She's just getting the front of my head. Whatever the fuck. Whatever, wherever bangs would be, she's in the front area. Okay, Dickhead, she's there. The forehead area. The forehead area. She's in my forehead.

All right. So she's like, I would call that. Shut the fuck. Shut the fuck up. I want to hear the story. You asshole. Just yucks, yucks, lots of jokes. Tell us.

Tell us the story. I don't know if I was about to get to the hot part, and I don't know if I want to tell you anymore. I want to hear it. You want to hear the hot part? Yes, please tell me. As my only friend, I'm going to tell you. Yes, please tell me, please. So she's on my forehead area with a bangs, you know.

And then she grazes my face with her boobs. Oh, crap. Wow. But she's weird. Wait a minute. How does that work logistically? Yeah. She's cutting your bangs and she gets her boobs in your face.

She got her boobs in my face. Was this a T-Rex? Her arms were really short. This doesn't add up, buddy. Maybe one of your 3D models it doesn't. No, no, no, so she was in front of me, and then she kind of, like, she told me to turn my head, and I did, and it kind of, like, she, it kind of graced her boobs. Wait, you turned your head. Yeah, yeah.

Well, she then moved off to the side. She told me, turn my head. It grazed her boobs. Okay. And then I thought, well, she's wearing one of those, like, uh, barber aprons. So it could have just been apron, right? Either way, there's contact, right? Yeah, there was contact.

I totally felt it with an apron or a boob. Exactly. Well, so then I came home, and I told my girlfriend at the time. Big mistake. Well, what? I don't get shit. What would you say as a dating advice expert? Yeah, I would say there's no need to say that.

Why? Because it's going to cause unnecessary drama, perhaps, or jealousy. Bragging about getting a boob rub down you? Like, oh, that was nice. I got the boob, like, grace. She never believed me anyway. So what the fuck difference does it make? I was like, well, this happened.

I'm just letting you know. And then, and then a month later, it was like around Christmas time. I get a message from my barber on Facebook. What? Saying, hey, hey, Maddox. I think you're really cute. And, uh-huh. And I was like, uh, she's like, oh, I think we should go out some time, maybe get some drinks or whatever.

And I think you're really interesting, blah, blah, blah, just like gushing. And, and, uh, and I, I called my girlfriend into the room. Like, hey, look, look, look. Mistake number two. I told you. I fucking told you. Because I was like, I'm a very open guy, Aaron. Like if the shit happens.

I just wanted to be right. Yeah. Just wanted to be right. I was. I was. I was right, right, right. Me, me, me. And she was hot as shit, and that happened.

My barber at Floyd's hit on me. And you got a shitty haircut. Well, mine fucked up my hair. No boob grades for you. No boob grades. So because people in listening can't see, it's basically where all the long, the long hair stops being long at some point. Your hair kind of gets like puby, right? On your sideburns, you know?

Yeah. It turns into face hair and that hair doesn't get long. Like Tina Turner for Mad Max, like Beyond Thunder. Oh, yeah. Fuck you. But no hipsters are doing that now. They're doing the side race. That's why she did it.

She wants you to be hip. Well, she just shaved all of that little hair. Like, with like a razor just all the way around. So it looks like a bowl cut, but I have very long hair. And I know the look you're talking about, like the Hitler Youth look where it's wrong on the top. But it doesn't go up high enough for that. Like it only goes midway. So I look like a mix of Weird Al and Slingblade now, right?

But did you tip her? Of course. No, why? Because that's the culture we're in. But you weren't happy with the service. Yeah, but I also didn't really care. I'm like, just do whatever you want. I don't want to deal with this.

I'm just tipping and getting at it. You only paid 78% of the bill anyway, right? Yeah, that's true. She was a woman. Yeah, thank God. Oh, see, see. So he tipped just to make it like the even amount that a man would earn. So nice.

So nice of him. Very, very considerate of dick. Bad haircuts. Everybody's got to deal with them. It's true. You are right. Terrifying. And no matter how, no matter how cool you are, no matter how hot your Tinder profile is,

no matter how many Trump hats that you have signed by Donald Trump, no matter how expensive your watches, or how funny you are being right now. Or just all things that you have or do. No matter how much of a great lover you are. He's not. He's not. Having a shitty haircut, having a bad haircut negates all of it. So you just look like a weird psychopath.

Until it grows out. Until that magical three-day period where it's grown out and not then too long again. You look like flock of seagulls. I really am upset by it. Yeah. All psychopaths have weird hair. That's true.

That is true. If you're putting a psychopaths have weird hair. If you're putting a psychopath in a movie, you say, weird that guy's hair up. Give him a fucking weird haircut. That's what, and that's what you think. Harvey or Boredem, what was that movie? No country for old men. No country for old men.

This is a weirder haircut than he had, I feel like right now. You look like a lesbian. Like a truck, like a truck driver lesbian. You look like a truck driver. Yeah. You look like a truck driver. Funny. You look like large march.

Oh, yay. So good. Oh, man. No, I'm sorry, but you and I have a friend. I mean, don't be sorry. No, I'm, I just feel, I feel like I should apologize because of the semiotic violence that the barber inflicted on your head and that the injustice of the world and the shears and blah, blah, blah, that. Shut up.

But, you and I have a friend. And he. Surprising, right? I know. Wow. Oh, my gosh. Well. Besides me.

Come on. Aaron, you're my only friend. But Dick and I have a mutual friend between us. Yes. We share him. Yes. And he gets the worst hair. And I told him one time, I'm like, dude.

Who is it? Give me some hints. You look. Is he a tall guy? Is he a short guy? He's a tall guy. Tall guy, okay. Super nice guy. Does he have a kid? Yeah. Did he just have a kid?

Yes, he does. You are right. Yeah. He gets these haircuts where, like, you get, there's like that level where it turns into your head hair, and then he just goes like, keep going. Keep going. Keep on going. Keep on going. So I told him one time, I'm like, dude, what the fuck is, what are you doing with your head? What is what is what's going on here? And he goes, oh, what, I just get the cheapest haircut.

I'm like, I know. Everyone knows. Everyone knows. And I said, go to Floyd. He negotiates him down. He's like, if you take half the time, can I cut the bill and I'm like, yeah, but it'll look like shit. Perfect. He looks like, he's a grown-ass man.

He's like 36 years old. Yes. He's a dad. He's a dad. Beautiful new baby boy. Yeah. And he gets these haircuts and make him look like an eight-year-old boy. And it is so bad.

It's so emasculating to have a bad haircut. Yeah, I told him. to go to Floyd's, this place where you got the haircut. And I told him, look, you're not going to get a good haircut 100% of the time, but it's a higher percentage of time than any other place I've gone to. And once you find that good barber, there were two at Floyd's. The girl who was flirting with me and this gay guy who just,

fucking, he did magic on my hair. He spent 15 minutes, not the girl who was flirting with me, 35, 40 minutes with her. Magic, literally, like looking at it like a crystal ball. Shut the fuck up. I'm so tired of the shit. I got plenty of hair. It's all over my neck and back.

And face And face Thank you, Aaron My one true friend Very manly facial hair Yeah Real manly Dick

Take notes Your face This is the smoothest I've ever See you look like a baby Yeah Anyway man So I told this guy I said I told him

This isn't this isn't the episode For shaving jokes No no That's next week Oh crap Harry's dot com So I told this I told this friend of ours

I said look man Go to Floyd's Spend a little bit It's like not much more You're a good friend. Yeah. Seriously. It's like 10 bucks more.

To be honest with him. Thank you, Aaron. He's a good friend for telling the guy that his hair looks like. Yes, because you were judging him too and you know it, Dick. Yeah. And it's funny, though. It's like a friend is really, he's ruining it for all the other friends. And Maddox is a good friend.

One of the best things you can do for a friend. And I'm not, this is, in all sincerity, is if they smell, tell them they smell. Because no one else is going to say it. I'm with you. People are going to be polite and whatever. Like, if you have a friend who has like. Something in their teeth. Tell them.

Unless it's a girl. Like, I've dated a lot of girls who eat ice cream really sloppily, and it gets all over the fucking face. Like a horse? Oh. How sloppily? How sloppy are these girls? Like a pie eating contest. And they, buddy, they eat everything that way.

It's like a pie eating test. It's as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the implication. We were all thinking it. We were all thinking of. So they get chocolate. I don't think that's a good thing.

Oh, it's hilarious. because it's like a reverse motorboat. So they get chocolate all over their face, and I remember one time I dated this girl, she got chocolate all over her face. It was on her nose, on her cheeks, and everything. And I didn't tell her. And we were out at a mall, we went to a movie,

we went to her restaurant. Boy, was she embarrassed when she went back to fourth grade. He's telling you's a good friend? Yeah, pretty terrible. Yeah, pretty terrible. She wasn't my friend, she was my girlfriend. It's even worse. It's even worse.

That's hilarious. I think bragging about touching boobs. I know. Get ice cream all over her face. Whatever. People get bad haircuts. Awesome. That's my problem.

Great. That's a good one. It's like now I've got to learn how to be ugly for two weeks. Like, well, I guess how to be ugly on the internet. You experience what it's like not to be beautiful for three weeks. Yeah. Sucks. I don't know if I'll make it through it.

You can do it. Yes. That's my problem. Nice. All right, guys. My problem this week. was spooning victims. And my problem is unfair internet bans.

My problem is bad haircuts. Bad haircuts. Guys, thanks for listening. We'll be back next week. Do you want to pitch anything? You should probably mention your... Oh, my website. Oh, yeah.

And, yeah, thank you, Dick from you. Aaron, let's... What do you want to plug? Thank you for stopping by again. Oh, thank you. I'm so happy to be here. You guys are the best. I have so much fun on the show.

I'm going to work on my Tinder profile. I'll delete those extra pictures. Yeah, yeah, because I'm sure you have a bunch of selfies or something you can add instead. Maybe I'll just put my business up there. I'll put my life coaches services. Hey, if you do, just put it in the profile so people know. Okay. Yeah. And make it dating related. Yeah. So anyway, Eric. Yeah. What's your website again is. Yes. The dating advice girl.com. I'm on all of the social media platforms. All of them. So find me on my website. I actually am just about to launch my first dating coaching webinar that's

downloadable, et cetera, because I do workshops. So it's literally like you could, I'm like, in your home, giving you one-on-one coaching, you download it, and I'm basically sprucing up your love life and giving you tips for messaging and conversing with other singles. Oh, shit, you know what? That reminds me. I wrote a bunch of libertarian pickup lines. I wanted to get your, I wanted to get your opinion of these libertarian pickup lines.

Let's do this. Let's hear these. Are you a fiat currency because you're causing high levels of inflation in my pants? Do you think that would work? No. Next. What's the next one? Girl, I want to fuck you like I interpret the Constitution, literally.

No, these are awful. I just have a question mark in my brain, but go on. Next one. Maybe it's not the right audience. That is how a libertarian interprets the Constitution, like literally. Girl, I'll respect you like property rights, right? That's funny. Girl, girl, girl, girl, my love, my dick is like the free market.

It'll solve all of your problems. because it fosters innovation, punishes inefficiencies, and it's a reflection of the economic decisions and values of all society, and not just an elite ruling class. You had me at like a half. That's pretty hot.

Half of that state, but you had me, and then you lost me. Why? Do you guys she keeps the second half? I'm like going to sleep and not even want to have sex with you. It's too long. Hmm. How about, uh, girl, I need that ass. Like the U.S. needs to return to the gold standard because it provides long-term economic.

economic stability. No, it fucking doesn't. And growth, it prevents inflation. It would restrict the ability of the government to run up large deficits by printing money at will, which also increases the national debt, and the economy has historically performed better under a gold. No, it fucking hasn't.

It didn't. You shithead, it crashed, and it doesn't allow for quantitative or qualitative easing in the economy, dickhead. It takes away tools for a economist to be able to do anything. Oh, I'm sorry. So, Aaron, was that a good pick-up? None of this makes you want to have sex with anybody.

Shit. Okay, wait, I got this one. What about me? Girl, girl, girl, I want to, girl, I want to, you have to say girl. Girl. That's how you know, it's like the military. Yeah. Sir, yes.

Girl, I want to dress up like Ein Rand and make a fountain all over your head. I mean. That's pretty good. That's clear. That's better than the other, you're right, it's very clear. That's the best one? I don't get it. How, what would it mean a fountain?

Just gosh on? She wrote the fountain head. Oh, that's right. Okay. You didn't discover that in all your libertarian research now. These are all very sapiosexual, actually. Oh. Yeah, very cerebral.

This one's very cerebral. Girl, I'll pay you $40 to touch my dick through my pants. That's very libertarian. Very libertarian. Straight exchange of services for money? Sure. I know a lot of girls who would take you up on that. All right, that's it.

Those are all my... All right, nice job. Bravo. Thank you. Yes. Bravo, Dick. Good job. So that's the good one is the Ein Rand one.

And the last one, if you want ladies who want some cash. Okay. Prostitutes. What's that website? site. Back page. Yeah, back page. Back page. Yeah. Back page. Aaron, and we, I don't know, I'd like to mention this too.

On the air, you have some exciting news. You are now certified as NLP. You want to explain to people what that is? Okay, so NLP. NLP. NLP. Yes. Neuralinguistic programming. So it's like kind of Tony Robbins stuff.

It's positive thinking. There's some exercises you can do to someone with their permission. Like, for example, you can touch their hand or something and basically help them trigger a positive thought if they're feeling like anxiety or something negative. Somebody they can touch their finger, for example, and remember a time where they felt powerful.

And it's really great. It's all about suggestions and all my kind of stuff. So I'm certified in that now. Is there a way you can do it to make them feel bad? Is there like an anti-NLP? It's called a punch. If I did. You punch them in the hand.

Let's get certified in that. If I was unethical, probably yes. But I have a high level of ethics. So this NLP stuff is pretty interesting. I looked into it a long time ago because someone recommended this book. I'm like, oh, okay, another fucking thing now, what? And I picked it up. And it was really interesting.

Some of the things that they talked about in this book was how to deal with traumatic memories and events, specifically. If you view it in terms of a movie, your life is essentially a movie that's playing in your head and you're the star. You're seeing all these pictures and things. And your memories of, in the past, are memories that are kind of just constructed. They're not real things. They're ephemeral. So if you view that memory from a third person, like in a movie, like if you're watching a movie and you see a car go off a cliff

and you're seeing at first person point of view, you know, with the knuckles on the steering wheel and the person gasping right as they're going off the cliff, it's much more cerebral versus you're watching it from a distance and this little car kind of flies off. Yeah, you're more removed. Yeah, you're more removed and you're not, you don't feel it as much.

So they kind of teach you strategies on coping with trauma and things like that. And like visualization, visualization, techniques to do that. So you can see yourself removed from that traumatic experience. So that you're like, oh, I'm not as, I'm not like so tied to that emotion attached to it. It's very powerful, actually. Absolutely. Because Sean, our audio engineer has given some sage-like wisdom at one point.

He says that things. So suspicious. You're right to be that suspicious, Sean. You are right. This sounds like you're getting buttering up or getting fucked. I'm sorry. I'm sorry about the hair. He sounds like an insult.

Oh, you're getting yours, buddy. It's coming. But Sean said that things are rarely as good or as bad as they seem. He says that about the podcast every week after. He's like, well, it's never as good or as bad as you think it was. And it's usually when we're really high. When we're really high and I said, that was a really good episode. It's like, guys, it wasn't that.

We had a dank bowl. Shut up. So, Sean said that things are rarely as good as bad as they seem. And I think applied to NLP is that if you remove yourself from that situation, and you look at it as a third-party observer. Or reframe it. Yeah, reframe it, essentially. Yes. You look at it from a different frame, a different observer.

That's how I view it. You will be able to see it a little bit more objectively. Because when you're in it, you feel much more strongly about things that no one else gives a shit about. Absolutely. And the problem is we let those things affect us in the future. When we could leave it in the past, but it's like if we revisit those things as the first person, it's like we can't let go with things. Like with dating.

People have a bad breakup. And so they literally feel like every other person is going to hurt them as bad as that bad breakup does. Right. So what I do with the dating, stop it. So what I do with when I coach people in dating is I help them reframe that to make them believe and really, really believe and trust that that's not going to happen again and again again. Right. Because we tell ourselves that that's what's true. Not as bad, much, much worse.

No. Yeah. It gets worse every year. They get smarter and older and they hit you a lot harder. No, but life sucks. Younger. Like I do. Yeah, you date younger.

And also, also you become callous. That's the way, right? Oh, no, no. You can't hurt a callus. Don't be changing. No, no, no, no. It's actually not at all. But, yeah, it's very interesting stuff.

Congratulations, Aaron. Thank you for coming by the show. I love you guys. Thanks for having me. Thank you. And then I'm going to loop that in right before our problems this week. So this will be the pickup for the voicemail of the talent. Yep.

Hey, guys, this is Aryan Nic-Patriarchy. Hey, I'm the emperor of all straight white men. I'm just calling him to congratulate a stereos on figuring out my grand scheme, where I subjugate women in minorities by forcing filmmakers to include a majority of straight white people in their theatrical ensemble. What the hell was what I'm saying? It never has anything to do with the fact that nearly four out of five Americans are white, and these demographics were naturally reflected in our films. No, it was always racism, and I would have gotten away with it, too,

if it weren't for you digital cyber demons in your boisterous co-ponts. That might be one of my favorite voicemails. It's a good point. So, Emperor of all white people. We talked about this last time. I love that I'm on this show listening to this right now. Oh, I know.

For those of you don't know, I am a black female, so it's perfect. Yeah, Aaron is a black woman. He's our Jesse Jackson. That was the guy that just called in. Oh, wow. So last episode, Aaron, he was like, well, seriously, why don't we have representation like more black people winning Oscars, blah, blah, blah,

because that's this point. And I looked into it. Well, I brought up that point, to be fair. I brought up that point, and people will say, Black people aren't winning enough Oscars. And I looked into it and... How about Fucked Oscars? Who cares? Well, I looked into it, and black people got 17% of the nominations last time,

which is like more than... They're like 13% of the population. They are represented. And then overall, over the entire course of Oscar history, they say that I think 15 out of 65 Oscars were given to black people, and I did the math, and that's like 10%. 50% of 60% of... 15 out of 65.

That's 10%. Yeah, 15. And also, the Oscars are a fucking ad to make you watch these movies by a bunch of shitheads who do nothing. Honoring other people who don't do shit. I agree. Not on point, but I agree. I like the industry, so I'm not going to say anything about that. But I will say, I mean, I don't know.

I don't know. I just, I, oh, this is hard and there's not enough time probably to talk about it. But I feel proportionally to the popular. you're correct. Right. Percentage-wise, but it would be nice to see. How about like even more representation

of Asian people or other ethnicities, etc. No, that's what I, that was the point I made. I said we don't see enough Latinos. We don't see enough Asian people. We don't see enough Latinos. All right.

Actually, there's got, we need a big wall in front of the Oscars. Donald Trump. Fucking Donald Trump. We're going to get into this Trump shit, Dickhead. Trump is an anti-vexer. He's an anti-vexer, that piece of shit.

Who cares? What does I mean? What does I mean? someone who's opposed to vaccinations. Oh, Vaxer. Got it. Anti-Vaxor, yeah. It's the biggest problem right now on the list. It's over 10,000 votes.

It is a massive problem. Really? Really? We're at a time. Yeah, we're out of time. All right. Next time. Just invite me back.

And we'll talk about it. Erin, I hope you don't get measles from some libertarian. Thank you for coming on the show.