The Biggest Problem in the Universe: Uncucked - Episode 79

Episode Date: June 7, 2018

Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe, the show where we discuss every problem in the universe from eyesores to ISIS. Over 4 million downloads is the only show where you decide what should or shouldn't be on the big list of problems. I'm Maddox with me as dick. Hey, what's that funny? And Sean, our audio engineer. Hey. Welcome back. Eyesores.

Yeah, Aisors and Isis. They're both trouble. You know, you don't want either one in your neighborhood. Nope. They're both blights on neighborhoods. And they're both stopped by a big wall. Oh, boy. More Trump propaganda.

How do we do last week? Dick, that's a good question. Trump didn't invent walls. Last week, the biggest problem in the universe was bad haircuts. Very relatable. Good job, Dick. Bad haircuts. Then unfair internet bans. Just barely.

Did that get into positives? It was very controversial. It was in the positives for a little while, and then it was voted down. Now it's hovering around zero. Yeah, well, I guess, well, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's deciding that they're unfair. That's the problem, right? Well, Aaron thought hers were unfair. And hers was definitely not unfair. No, well... She was banned fairly. No, but she said she got a professional account. It sounds like that's what that account was there for, is to promote services. Because clearly, Tinder has no problem selling ads to different companies and TV shows to...

Well, yeah, they're a company. They've got to make money. They've got to put ads on their free service. But if she has a professional account, if that's what it's there for. See, but I think when she says that it's a quote, quote professional account, I suspect that maybe she's just decided it's professional and is just running her ad on a dating profile. Yeah, I don't feel like... I've never seen a how to have a professional account on Tinder. I looked into it. I couldn't find any documentation about that.

But I don't, it doesn't bother me. It's like seeing a video game ad while I'm playing a video game. I don't mind because I'm already there to play the video game. You know what I mean? No, I think you would mind something like that, though. If it was anyone else other than Aaron bringing it in, I think you would mind someone shilling themselves based on false pretenses. Like, she's got a picture of herself, like,

assumedly, she's got a hot picture of herself on there. And then when you investigate more, it says, this is an ad, right? It doesn't say, high dating coach. That's not the picture. It's a picture of a beautiful girl. Right, because you're not allowed to have text on your profile pictures. The reason it doesn't bother me is because she's up front and not misleading. Because if I match with a girl on Tinder, which I always do, every girl I've ever swiped right on a match.

So if I match a girl on Tinder, yeah, it's a good record, 100%. I look at their profile and I read what they're saying before I message them. Because there are girls who have been hot as shit, like stone cold foxes. And I've not messaged them because they have snooty, shitty, obnoxious profiles. For example, this is the type of girl I hate and you will die alone. I will never date you. you will die alone. It's the type of girl who says, well, if you do such and such thing for me, I'll consider

going on a date, or if you're this type of person, I'll consider, you know what, don't dain to date me, dipshit. I'll date someone else. I'll date any of these other hotties in my profiles. Yeah. I'll take those girls. Yeah, of course you will. Give me those girls. I'll do whatever you want, baby. What do you want? The moon? It's yours. And then Dead Last was spooning victims. And I got a comment about that. It's from Alexander

Deltrus Lienbeck. He says, I think we have a bunch of idiots who don't quite understand what spooning victims problem actually is. He says they're downvoting it. I think because they think the problem is spooning, so they don't think that's a problem. Guys, listen and read, it's the stupid victims

Maddox is talking about. Fucking hell. I thought that would create confusion. Yeah. Yeah, I saw that and I was like, that's why they're downvoting it. Because I think that guy who wrote the article is a fucking lunatic. Well, wait a minute. I read that article after the show. I think he was trying to be funny. Like, I think he's

I think he got into a new gay relationship and he was excited about it and that was him like talking about it in like some kind of cute way. Well, I thought about that after the fact in which case we look like assholes. Yes, we do. We need satire tags. We needed them in this case. Okay, two things. First of all... Is that true? No, it's not satire. Okay, good. First of all, Slate... No, absolutely not. Slate is not known for satire. They're not known satirists. They don't publish satire. Second, it's part of a new blog launch that they're doing specifically for sleeties.

related topics. So this is one of their seven blog posts that they made about sleep related topics. So I looked at the other ones. None of them are satirical. None of them are funny. This guy's doing it in earnest. And all of his other posts are in earnest. He's not a satirist. He's not being funny. He's not a funny dude. Well, it definitely wasn't funny. Not intentionally funny. Excuse me. Correction. Yeah. Yeah. Let's see. I got one from Sam Allen. Sounds like Dick tried to get a haircut that made his face look bigger and it backfired. Dick, everybody was asking for a picture of your face.

I'm not putting a picture of my haircut up. I'll let somebody draw it. Is that a good compromise? Wait, why? I'll let someone draw, because it's ugly. That's why. Oh, you're sensitive of my friends. Start a Kickstarter.

Maybe you get the right price. Meanwhile, I'm everyone's fucking punching bag about the bald jokes. You guys letting it fly last time. Right on my wall right now, there's two pictures. So Fallout 4 came out, the game Fallout 4. And it has this character designer inside where you can custom your character to make it look like whatever. Basically, they'll look like Walter White from Breaking Bed.

So somebody made one of me, and it looks pretty fucking spot on. I think it's pretty handsome. I rubbed one out to it. It's pretty hot. Anyway, that's on my wall right now. I also got a comment. Actually, before we move on, I should mention this, Dick. I kind of mentioned it in the post last time.

I forgot to mention the last episode. But a long time ago, I teased that I was going to be talking about my pen and teller experience in a video. Oh, good. And that video is about to come out. I'm finally releasing it And one of the first comments About it was from Grant Mooney You know the guy who created the Titanic song

For those of you listeners who haven't heard the Titanic song in a while Grant Mooney created it to To mock me You have it ready to play The fucking This bullshit I love how it picks up where you Stopped it last time

No had the volume down This fucking bullshit ass song Grant Mooney What did he say He says Fuck yeah I can't wait to hear about Penn and Teller I've been on my best behavior. So the reason he said that

just fucking turn this song off. I can't stop it once it starts. It's a fucking full bullet. That's going to fuck with people's heads. Well, you got to hear the whole song that comes down. Yeah, just a little bit. I fucking hate this song. I'm going to unplug the audio jack. Unplug his audio jack. This was the this was the Titanic Days of the podcast.

This is like the Jurassic era. It's taking me back. Yeah, your asshole era. This is such bullshit. I said just as a sample to remind people we don't have to listen to the whole song. fucking hate the song. People will go crazy out there.

They'll have to, they'll sing the whole song in their heads. You know what? It'll drive them crazy. Fuck you, Grant Mooney. So what are you going to go into on your Penn and Teller Exposet? Well, the whole reason I mentioned, I'll tell you in a second, but the whole reason I mentioned Grant Mooney is because he would, I said something out of spite. I said, if you ask for me to post that episode, I'm going to delay it.

Oh, I remember that. Yeah. Yeah. So that's why I delayed it? I delayed it because of him. And that's why he said he's been on his best behavior. But for that song, Grants, I'm going to delay it in another few days. Anyway, I was on Penn & Teller's bullshit a long time ago, talking about old people.

Yeah, and they really nailed you. Oh. Well, because I remember you saying you were going to be on Penn and Teller, and I said, look, every episode of Penn and Teller's bullshit, there are people they agree with, and they make them look great and smart, and they're the people they don't agree with, and they make them look like assholes. Yeah. So you've got to figure out which one you are quickly, and then alter your behavior. accordingly. You know, you gotta protect yourself. If they're setting you up to look like a shithead,

you gotta really protect yourself. Right. Well, it's hard because I honestly thought that they were gonna be on my side of this debate. But they're old. They themselves are very old. It doesn't matter. Just because you're a thing,

you can still be objective about that thing. Just because you have cancer, you don't suddenly like cancer because you have it. It's a still shitty thing. Great analogy. Yeah. I couldn't imagine an old person making an analogy that good.

Being old is like having cancer except you can't get rid of it. I'm going to miss this cancer. Okay. Great, great analogy. Anyway, so they fucking threw me under the bus. Man, they took so many quotes out of context. My whole argument in that episode

was essentially that old people get reversed. They get ageism in their favor. They go to amusement parks and restaurants and grocery stores and theaters. Okay. They get discounts. everywhere in society, not because they're good people just because they're old, which I

think is bullshit, right? That's the name of the whole fucking show. And then they threw me under the bus. They made it, they characterized my argument, my biggest problem. As like an angry 30-year-old man-should. That was the words they used, right? What? They were an angry, 30-something like basement-dwelling man-child.

Something. They really carried, they really hammered you. That's what I'm saying. I mean, they tried to. They said that. They took quotes out of context. Yeah. There's all this bullshit that happened in that episode. Anyway, I'm finally releasing that video, and I'm finally talking about it. It's coming out soon.

And, yeah, it'll be interesting. I'm excited to finally talk about this. It's been a couple of years. I'm going to finally set the record straight. I remember when that came out, too. Yeah. It was ugly. I got one of the best hate mails I've ever received.

I haven't even had a chance to post it on my site, but there was this guy who was like a World War II vet. And he just said, I'm so tired of... of little pukes like you. Yeah. And he kept calling me a puk throughout the entire email. And that's how you know he's old. He's like an old, crusty, old fuck. And he kept calling me a puk.

I love it. That's the sign of an old... He probably learned how to use email just to send you that email. Yeah. Old. I'll do you a favor. I'm going to bring in baby boomers when that video drops on this show. Okay, great.

Great. Because I don't think the biggest argument against old people is that they get fair treatment at McDonald's. That's my argument. free coffee at McDonald's or whatever. That's my argument. I think there's better arguments that Penn and Teller could not defend against. Like they've, I don't know, they've destroyed the education system, they've denuded

social security, you know, they've like fucked up the country and blamed it on us and stuck us with the tab. I guess. I mean, they also left us a legacy of a lot of good things, too, you could say. Name a hundred. But the argument that I have. against old people. Another one was that they smell. They smell. And it wasn't just a little pithy statement that I made that old people smell. Pithy. It wasn't just a little pithy statement

that I made that old people smell. I was basing it on the principle that as you grow older, your eyesight declines, your hearing declines, your taste declines. Why shouldn't your sense of smell? And then I looked into it and guess what? It does. And the argument that I made is that old people smell because if their sense of smell diminishes over time, they can't smell themselves and they can't smell how much

perfume they're putting on. And that's why they put on too much of it. That's my argument. Pretty sound. Yeah, that's true. They also have a shitload of syphilis. Yeah, that's true. I don't know if you knew that.

Yeah. All right, I got another haircut voicemail. Remember the guy we ripped up last episode for always having bad haircuts? A friend of ours? Oh, right. Yeah, he called him.

He called into the show. Okay, so for anyone who hasn't heard the last episode, we made fun of a friend of ours because he gets really shitty haircuts, and I encouraged him to spend a little bit more and go to a better barbershop, one that doesn't have revolving doors

for the people who come in and out of it. And revolving blades for the haircuts. There you go. Hey, this message is from your mutual friend with the shitty haircut. Sorry if I don't want to take haircut advice from Bald Bin Laden or Mexican Gene Simmons. I'm sure everybody in your audience

really wants to get style points from a guy cruising around town and Persian racing rims. A guy who's probably wearing a Sega Dreamcast shirt while recording this damn episode. Close. Close. Anyway, good show, boys. I'll see you at the gym on leg day.

What an asshole. For the record, you are wearing a Adventure Time slash Princess Monanoque shirt. Yeah. One cartoon is not enough for the shirt today. It's two cartoons. Two and one. It was a mash-up. It was a gift.

I'm tired of mash-ups, but it was a gift. Do you remember that email you read about that woman engineer? Yeah. Here she called in. Oh, let's hear it. So, guys. This is that engineer girl who wrote in that email the other week. I just wanted to call in because people were questioning my gender.

I wanted to confirm that I am, in fact, a sexy grill with big tits. Oh, how big. And I just wanted to say that, you know, just letting you guys know that everything is cool. Women don't have problems. so guys, men to the audience, just keep doing what you're doing, guys, because it's working. And, you know, that's about it. Women stop complaining about minor problems. Also, I wanted to say that virginity shaming, that's a huge fucking problem.

Cras. She sounds like a merchant. Not say men about their virginity. That's fucked up, though. But stop complaining about patriarchy. That's gay. Okay. All right.

All right. Put our makeup. That's cool. Her name was Marie S. Thank you for calling in Marie S, the engineer. You know what? So, Serious, not here to defend himself, which is the preferred way I like to argue against people, so when they can defend against themselves.

So he was saying, essentially, you guys both thought that that was, that sounded like a guy who wrote those talking points, right? Me? You guys both said that. No, I wondered if it was, in fact, a woman. No, it was. I looked into it. Okay.

So, I looked into it. Yeah. Yeah, so it's not surprising, guys. I mean, here's a fact, right? I want everyone to chew on this for a little while, because it's a real heavy one. The majority of women don't identify themselves as feminists. The majority of women. The majority of men, the majority of people don't.

In fact, it's only 23% of women. women, 23%. So a lot of them, and a lot of them, if you ask them if they are for social... It's like South Park says, one out of four people is retarded. Is that? That's a South Park thing. Oh, okay. Well, if you ask these same people who don't identify themselves as feminist, whether or not they are for social equality, economic equality, opportunity equality, etc. They all say yes, but they still don't identify themselves as feminist. And I fall into that category, too. We're all egalitarians. Anyway, that's an important thing. Chew on that. Okay. Here's a guy that's speaking of shitting on people.

Or shitting on Asteroos, well, he's not here. Hey, guys, this is Matt from D.C. First off, I bought a fucking Casper mattress off you, too, so listen up. Oh. Asterios Coconos is to comedy. What Roger Barr is to comedy. Matter how many bottles with Tabasasas, he sucked up your ass. No more Assyrios.

Oh, what an ass. Wait, there's more. From this guy? No. Perius. I love you. I think you're really funny. But the more you drink, the more you become Anita Sartesian.

Oh my gosh. One more? Sure. Oh, more. Hey, guys. This is former president, Benjamin Harrison. You probably don't know me. But I wanted to call for asteroid cucumbers.

It's good to hear you still have a day job because I think you're going to need it. Probably shouldn't quit it. What do you say? After last week's episode. Cucumbers? I don't know. Yeah, that's what he called him. Yeah, Sears got beat up a lot.

I think unfairly, so I got a comment in the comment section. A lot of drama in the comments section. I think he's funny. I love Stereo. Yeah, Sir's funny. I love Astero's. You know who wasn't funny? He was that shithead who called in.

All of them. Every single one. Never had a funny voicemail on this episode on this show. I got a comment from Tony Nunn. He says, let me start with this. I'm a dick. I'm also kind of a dick online. These commenters on here are starting to get like,

genuinely terrible, maybe even contenders for the biggest problem in the universe. Maddox and Dick, if I were you guys, I would have to ask myself if the entertainment value your show produces is worth your website becoming a human garbage dump. What? There have been so many shitheads. I don't know if you check the comments, man. Yeah, I read all of them. They're great. No, well, there have been a couple of shitheads and troublemakers, just creating a lot of noise on the, on the forums.

Yeah, but that's not an excuse, and you don't have to tolerate it. I don't have to put up with this noise on my fucking forums. You come to my house? I don't think this is going to help. Are you telling them not to comment anymore? Oh, they can't because they're banned, fucko. That's right. I banned the fuck out of them.

Yeah, goodbye, good ridens. I don't need this bullshit. I don't need this drama. And then they cry, oh, but Maddox, you deleted a popular comment with 50 up votes, 50 likes on that comment, and you deleted it. First of all, I don't believe it had 50 likes. because you can create fake accounts and they have been. Second, if 50 likes is some kind of consensus, well, I got another comment here.

It's from a user, his name is Maddox Rules. He says... You can remember what you wrote? You got to read it? Oh, it's just a comment. I don't know who wrote this. Maybe it's me, maybe it wasn't. I don't know.

It just says here, since getting 50 likes seems to matter, like this comment if you want idiots who keep spamming these forums banned. Shitty accounts will be banned when this post reaches 50. Because internet validation matters. Okay, I'm playing your game, shitheads. Guess what? As of this recording, 52 fucking likes. You're all banned.

Go fuck yourself. You're not welcome. Is that the way to handle this? I didn't think banning worked online. Like, I thought that was pretty easy to get around. I mean, just make a new account. But it takes way less time to ban somebody. Yeah, I guess so.

Yeah. Here's the thing, guys. You want to comment, you want to talk, you want to say your piece, do it. But don't obstruct the forums. Don't be a shithead. Don't make death threats. Don't post entire walls of text. Oh, yeah.

Where the fuck are you been? You say you read any comment. You missing all these? I read these comments. I don't know. I guess I missed the death threats. Yeah, it's just shitty. And they were trying to be martyrs.

They sound like Tumblr activists, these guys. They're trying to be martyrs like, Hey, Maddox is deleting comments critical of him. No, I'm not, fuckface. I have a whole section on my website where people post hate mail. I have shitty comments in all my YouTube videos, full of shit. My fucking Facebook wall, literally, as we're recording this, has two pictures of me as a bald character from Fallout 4.

Fuck you if you think I'm deleting things that are critical of me, you shit, you fuck. Anyway, yeah, just a little spring cleaning. Took it too far, huh? Yeah. All right. Let's see, I got one for you, Sean. You want to hear it? Yeah, this is a message about Sean.

I don't understand why you guys are paying him since he can't do his fucking job properly. Every time you have a female on the show, Erin, for example, she sounds like fucking echo the dolphin being fisted. It's this ridiculously high pitch. Like what? Echo the dolphin being fistic. Echo the dolphin being fistic. ...fucking videos and do his job. Also, Maddox, you're turning into a massive pot.

I think Dick should fuck you. What? I don't know. I think busy. That's her voice She does have an annoying voice What they Oh Sean you don't have to justify yourself

To that shitty caller Do you understand a fucking thing he said It sounded like he had marbles in his mouth And he's speaking through a fast food speaker He's been in the pub too long Yeah he has Yeah Yeah she has an annoying voice

You didn't do that Dude you don't have an echo filter on there An echo the dolphin filter No but she isn't a cavernous space This room we're in is not a real room Also we had legitimately Like nine people in the room last time Oh yeah.

Astero sounded echoey too. Asteroes did sound echoey. It's the room, pal. Yeah, we're doing what we can with what we have, you fuck. Aaron sounded fine. I think she has a great voice. Okay. No, it was piercing.

All right, I got an email from a guy thanking you for losing his virginity. I got an erotic story. I got a new bit. Which one do you want? Dealer's choice. I don't want to take up too much time here. Let's do the erotic story. The R-X story's long.

Okay, then let's do the new bit. Save the erotic story. Okay, here's the song for the new bit. Bicyclers are pieces of shit, pieces of shit, pieces of shit. Okay, this is a serious educational bit, right? It might be a little bit entertaining, but it's called Bicyclers are Pieces of Shit. This news story was sent it to me by Brad Meridian, a bomb-sniffing dog who served two tours in Iraq,

earning two bronze stars along the way was fatally shot by a cyclist who says he felt threatened by the 52-pound Belgian Malinois Good, then fucking keep your dog on a leash Dogs are the problem, go vote up dogs Thank you for being in that in Dick, go vote up dogs Keep your fucking dipshit dog on a leash

The cyclist claims he used his bike To block the dog's attacks But that Mike continued his assault Until he shot him in the backside Good. Good. The revolver. All right. The cyclist sustained no injuries.

Cool. And there were no witnesses, though a neighbor told someone that he heard no barking prior to the gunshot. So this was a dog attack with no barking. Yeah. Dog got shot in the back by a cyclist. Some neighbor with the sonar ears.

I heard no barking. Yeah. Like the neighbor would even fucking know. There you go. I've heard it. I think of a lot. Bids a shit. Beat such shit.

Beat sub shit. He's a dog. A bit of shit. He's a dog. You know, Dick, calling them bicyclers makes you sound like an idiot. Cool. Because it's, you know, they're cyclists, and you're just adding the word er to it. I don't call you libertarianers.

Oh, all these words. Sounds like a poly-evangelist. Libertarians. All these new words for things. It's a bicycler. They got a bicycle, they're bicycling around. And speaking of... You got a typewriter?

I don't know. Our buddy, and one more thing about the Penn and Teller episode. Penn and Teller, big libertarians. They're on the Cato Institute. Libertarians. Libertarians made some news over the weekend too, Dick. Maybe you'll recognize this clip. It's from our buddy Rand Paul.

I want a government so small you can barely see it. I saw that. Yeah. I saw that live. And then I listened to him more. I'm like, am I misunderstanding here? Am I misunderstanding? Am I mischaracterizing the libertarian agenda?

No. He says it should be local governments because local smaller governments. You know he doesn't mean that literally, right? That's a metaphor. Then he went on to explain literally. No, he means he wants to be able to see them, like, as physical... He doesn't want it literally so small that he needs a microscope to see them. Oh, well, no, not that, yeah.

He's not... Okay. But he's exaggerating, but he is talking about local governance rather than federal. No, he's talking about more the function of government. Okay, well, you're wrong. He said, I want there to be more local government rather than federal. He actually said that. Yeah, that's part of it.

But what he was saying with not being able to see him, I think, is not being able to feel their influence all the time. Do you benefit from their services? you don't want to have thought about it. The roads are just there. You never think about who's fixing them. And like vaccinations are just there. How do you guys feel about apples? I don't think vaccinations are a libertarian crusade.

Oh, they are, buddy. Someone linked to me on a website that it was, you know, the first thing every libertarian says, it's not anarcho-capitalism. So this guy's like, hey, Maddox, libertarians are really open to the idea of vaccination. And then he sent me a link to a website where libertarians were defending this thing,

and it was something like anarchist-capitalist.com, and they were talking about the merits of vaccination. Oh, wow, thank you for being so open-minded about vaccination, guys. Are you thanking us for being on board with vaccines? Sarcastically? Sure. Libertarians are definitely for vaccines. Sure, they are.

I appreciate that. I don't understand why you're being smug about it. They're definitely pro-vaccine. Well, it says on the libertarian website, that people should be allowed to choose whatever medical procedure they want or don't want for themselves. That includes vaccinations. I disagree with that. Well, for themselves.

Yeah. You think, oh, I don't really want to get into it. You shouldn't be allowed to not choose vaccinations. End of story. They should have a federal regulation. You're talking about your children, though. That's different. Because you don't vaccinize yourself as an adult.

Right. Like, specifically vaccines are applied to children. No, you do. You get the flu vaccine. You can get pneumonia vaccine. You can get all sorts of different vaccines. So you think that the federal government should mandate that all adults get the flu vaccine. Not the flu vaccine, but it should be based.

It should be proportional to the threat of whatever it is. Like say, for example, Ebola was going crazy and it was an actual threat and everyone was getting it. Then they came up with the vaccine. Yeah, the government should mandate that you should get the Ebola vaccine. That's a horrifying dystopia that I want no part of. The government deciding, you know, the government's had a lot of bad. cures for diseases over the years. They thought leprosy was contagious, so they threw everyone in quarantine on islands. They'd take away their kids from them. Turned out it wasn't contagious.

Yeah, so... Whoops. That's the utopian fallacy, Dick. Just because they're not perfect doesn't mean that you should throw the baby out with the bathwater. It means you should limit their power, though. What if the baby has leprosy? Yeah, then, I don't know. You throw... You fucking flush that bitch. Dick, what's your problem? Yeah, you got a problem. My problem is not all blank knee jerks. What does that mean? So, you know, the terrorist attacks in Paris happened. Just happened.

Yeah, by the time this comes out, they'll have happened a couple days ago. So I hop on to Twitter because I think Twitter's a good source of news. Twitter and... Because you get like, in the popular feeds, you get like what's going on right now, right? You just punch it into wherever. You're not going to get what's going on right now. But all this stuff was developing. So I hop on there, click on the Muslim keyword.

Yeah. Click on Paris, click on Islam. Right. What do I see? Terrorism has no religion. Right. That's what I see in the trending keywords. Here's some quotes.

I love all followers of the Islamic face. I'm here to protect you from the ignorant comments that will come after this tragic event. I'm like, well, what? Is that the time for this right now? Terrorism has no religion. Spread love. Educate. And don't generalize.

Right. So a terrorist attack happens. And everyone's first, there's hundreds of thousands of these tweets. Nowhere among them. Maybe a small fraction of them did I see anything that was critical of Islam? That's because, dick. And it's hundreds of thousands of people, not all Muslims, not all Muslims. Like, guys, are you fucking serious?

Your first response to this is to attack some imaginary racist that's out there criticizing Islam for this? Are you fucking kidding me? Not all Muslims? Yeah, we know. There's billions of them. Nobody thinks it's all Muslims. Nobody. Okay, you're so off base on this.

First of all, the problem with Twitter and getting your news from it is that Twitter prioritizes popular tweets. So those tweets that you're reading of people saying it's not all Muslims, et cetera, et cetera, those are popular because people are putting their support behind it by favoriting it or retweeting it. That's why you're seeing those prioritized in your feet.

Why don't you read the comments under... I just changed my profile picture on Facebook to a picture of myself, my logo, with the French colors behind it. Right? Didn't even make a statement. Just a show of solidarity, and it's not slacktivism because I'm not expecting anything to change. People are like, Maddox, it's a mad of selectivism. No, it's not idiot, because I'm not doing it to change anything. It's just a show of solidarity with all my French friends.

So that one simple act of just changing my profile picture Just hateful shithead after shithead after shithead Every single one say I can read it right now Load it up, I want to see what's hateful All right, for example, there's a meme going around It shows some guy crying, throwing his hands up in the air And it says hashtag terrorism has no religion

Stop noticing demographic trends Remember Hitler This is pure coincidence, Shut up, shut up. Yeah, that's what I'm... I'm complaining about that guy. That's a not-all knee jerk. No, he's not.

He's saying... He's being sarcastic. It's a sarcastic tweet. It's a sarcastic post. Okay. There's another one here. So he's what? He's saying...

He's making fun of those people just like me? No, he's not making fun of those people. He's saying sarcastically that we should not look at demographics, demographic trends of who's causing this terrorism to happen. He's suggesting it's all Muslims. Oh, that's a big leap. No, that's not. That's what he's saying.

See, I don't think that's my problem with these knee jerk, not all blank knee jerks, is it's just binary thinking to them. Like, you can't have a conversation about anything involving Islam and terrorism and specifically this attack without them jumping down your throat, like you're making some blanket accusation about a fourth of the planet. When nobody is doing that. A lot of people are doing it, Dick, way more than you think. On Twitter?

Your head is in the first. fucking sand here, buddy. I will double down on this. You're absolutely 100% wrong. There are a lot of bigots out there. A lot of them are saying turn the Middle East to glass. These people are my forums. They're posting pictures of Richard Perlman, the journalist who got beheaded. They're like, yeah, this is what Islam is. And religion of peace. Yeah, right. They're all saying that shit, man. There's a lot of them out there. There are a lot of bigots out there. Yeah, I'm with you on there being a lot of bigots out there. I don't think Twitter's reaching them. I don't think comments like,

I'm beyond proud to say that my best friend is Muslim. The term Islamic terrorism is entirely unnecessary. Terrorism is an atrocity regardless. You know what? I don't know. You say there's a ton of bigots out there? I think that these people, these knee jerks, are being overly, politically correct,

and they're killing any sensible conversation about this. Like, you don't think it has anything. to do with it, anything at all? Well, if you look at the statistics, Dick, no, I don't think it does. What are the statistics? I made this argument several episodes back when we talked about terrorism, and I said that I think it has more to do with poverty and ignorance. And you don't see, generally speaking, you don't see terrorism, like people in affluent

neighborhoods blowing themselves up. You don't see people in affluent neighborhoods just leaving to go, you're talking about in America. In anywhere in the world Anywhere in the world Even the Middle East Look at Bahrain How much terrorism comes out of Bahrain

I have no idea Yeah Do you know anything about Bahrain? Bin Laden's family Has fabulous and wealthy Right That's why I say Sean With with few exceptions

But bin Laden was also He's a pretty big exception I would say Bin Laden Yeah And he had shit loads of money So now we're back to the original conversation

Which is so what's the real problem But Dick Bin Laden is one man He didn't fucking fly the planes into 9-11, did he? I think he had something to do with it. And who did he recruit? A bunch of fucking poor, ignorant, suggestible dollars. A bunch of morons.

Same thing with Hitler. Hitler was a smart guy, right? He's very charismatic. He's a great orator. He's able to manipulate people. He's able to tap into that emotion and then harness it for hate. That's what Hitler did. Hitler himself didn't kill six million Jews.

His peons did. The ignorant people, the people who are suggestible, the people who were emotional. manipulated. Those are the people that bin Laden got to fly into those planes. Notice how bin Laden didn't fly into the planes. Of course, he's sitting in a fucking mansion somewhere. But that was him. That was the one guy. But the people who are doing these terrorist acts, they're the most ignorant, the most poor. Sure. And that's how they become such fanatics. It's because they don't have any, any, any, um, any grounded worldview. They don't have any relation, any way to relate to

anyone else outside of all their taught day night is their religion. But, see, there you go. Now we're back to the conversation we should be having, which is, well, how much does religion play in this whole thing? Which is a sensible conversation? No, it's not. How is it not a sensible conversation? Because, Dick, out of 1.6 billion Muslims.

Again, we're back to the... Nobody thinks 1.6 billion Muslims are terrorists. Dick, let me finish his points, okay? Yeah. Out of 1.6 billion Muslims, if this religion instigated hatred or killing or terrorism, we would all be dead. 1.6 billion Muslims. There must be something else. I mean, that's exactly why no one believes it, because it's absurd.

Right, it is absurd. Like, stop saying it. All these fucking, not all blank knee jerks, stop fucking saying it. We all are on the same page. No. We can, oh, like you're going to convince some hill. bill on Twitter. Hey, hey, an unreachable person

who's consumed with bigotry and hatred, let me reach out with this touching tweet that not all Muslims, like we all fucking know, not all Muslims, but there's valid, there's a valid conversation to have about the issues in Islam that might

be contributing to this. Okay. Might. Fine, Dick. You want to make that argument? Let's look at video games, right? Let's look at video games. When Dill and Harris Klebold, whatever, those guys that shot up Columbine,

they went through their houses and they found that they were playing the video game Doom. And they said that Doom is a very violent video game. Yep. It's true. It has satanic overtones.

True. You know what? It's in hell. Maybe they got, maybe they got inspired by this video game. And then people said, well, that's a real shitty argument

because millions of people play these video games and don't go out and shoot schools. In fact, Japan, biggest country on Earth, I think, that plays video games amongst the populace,

millions of people in Japan playing these violent video games not going to shoot up schools. So what's the difference between those two shitheads who went up and shot up their school and the millions of people who play video games and don't?

This is a great example because you are exhibiting this not all-blank knee-jerk reaction. It is absolutely valid to look at violent video games and wonder what they're doing to kids' brains. That is 100% something that we might want to do, that we should do, not with my money, but it's certainly a valid response.

Like, I think that violent video games encourage violent thinking. You think that? Yeah, and I think a brain study would back that up because you're sitting there being violent, hunting, and satisfying base impulses. Now, remember, I am totally for everyone playing violent video games, but I'm not a lot of. against asking the question, hey, you think these violent video games or maybe fucking with kids' heads a little bit? You think we should all look at that and then maybe let people make, let parents make the decision of what they're doing with their kids? That's totally reasonable. And in that exact same way, it's worth looking at this and saying, what's going on here?

Why are all these people going, Alu Akbar when they're causing all this fucking mayhem? Let's ask, let's ask the question, what's the big deal? We ask the same question about Christian fundamentalists when they're all anti-gay. We have no problem with going, saying, what's the deal? What's the deal with this? Why are all these Christian fundamentalists so anti-gay? We can sit there and have that conversation, but we cannot have the exact same conversation about Islamic fundamentalists.

No, because, first of all, I don't even know where to begin here. Dick, the argument that you're making now is so pointless and futile because you're saying that because we have this problem that happens to be with Islam, these Islamic terrorists, which by the way, they're not even the majority of the

terrorist, excuse me, the majority of the terrorism that has occurred in Europe is not Islamic. You just looked that up? No, I brought that in as a fact several episodes ago. What is it? What is it? In Europe? Yeah. It's separatist groups. They're people who want independence. There are people

Like, for example, in... Yeah. Yeah, they're separatist groups. They're doing explosions. Like, in Thailand, there's a... There are groups in Thailand. There's groups in France. I can pull it up.

I have right here. Well, I don't think you need to because we understand that. Like, you say that they're separatist groups. It's like, oh, that makes sense, then. They just want their own country. They want more money. They want more of what they're given away to who's ever running the country, probably poorly, if they're causing a revolution.

Here, I got this right here. Doesn't matter. I just conceded the point. Yeah, the majority of terrorism... Did you hear my answer, though? Yeah, I did, I did. So you understand what the separatists want. Like, it's perfectly acceptable.

Like, nobody says, nobody's on Twitter going, not all separatists want that. Like, some of us are peaceful. Dick, it's not some of, okay? We're talking about the majority. So here's why you're, what you're suggesting is stupid to even look at violent video games as a potential cause. Why? Why is that so offensive?

I'm about to fucking explain it, dude. it's stupid because you look at the statistics. If less than one half of one percent of people who play video games, violent or otherwise, are committing mass shootings, guess what? I think it's pretty fucking safe to say it's not video games. Same thing with Islam, same thing with Christianity,

same thing with Jews, or any other thing. If the majority over 99.999% of people who do that thing don't fucking commit crimes and mass shootings and bombings, it's probably pretty fucking safe. to say because if you even study that, what are you going to find? What are you going to possibly find that's going to link that activity that millions of people are doing with killing people? Because it's already fucking there. The statistics are already there. You don't have to have that

discussion. It's just a discussion steeped in bigotry. That's all it is. Even with video games, it's stipped in bigotry? No, with Islam, it's bigotry, but in video games it's ignorance. It's just scapegoating. It's always something bad. Of course it is. This is exactly why I think it's a problem, especially with violent video games. Like, it's worth looking at. Why? The statistics don't back up your theory. I don't have a, oh, my theory that violent video games might contribute to violence, yes.

Oh, no, I didn't say violence. I said it might encourage violent thinking. Violent thinking, but... It's still an action is very different than the thinking. Okay. But it's completely valid to look at what the effect of these games are on kids. That's 100% valid. Again, Dick, if 99.9% of people who have that violent thinking aren't acting violently,

you're wasting money, you're wasting your time. Wasting money trying to understand what effect video games has on kids. I totally disagree with that. Again, I don't want to pay for it, but I don't think it's stupid to look into. Fine, totally reasonable argument. You know what? When people who drive drunk get in accidents and wreck their cars, kill people, you know, let's not eliminate the possibility

that maybe the car is influencing them into having reckless behavior. Maybe let's look at the psychology behind the type of car they drive. Maybe it's corvettes. Maybe it's a Ford. Maybe it's a certain brand. Let's look at the leather inside the car.

Maybe there's some correlation between the leather seats and people who drive recklessly. Let's look at the color of the car. Those studies like that exist? There's studies on bumper stickers relating bumper stickers to aggressive driving. Sure, but if you are going to make the case,

say that all red cars contribute to reckless driving. And then you look at the statistics and say, well, over 99% of people who drive red cars don't drive recklessly. So isn't it safe to say we can toss that out? I don't know what you're tossing out in this case, though. This theory. Let's just keep it to video games, because I think we can have a more sensible discussion about that. The theory of, maybe they got something to do with it. Like, maybe they're not the healthiest things to let little kids play.

is not crazy. And it's got nothing to do with red... You're reading something. What are you reading? No, go on. I'm listening. I'm listening. At all. What are you reading? I haven't been listening the whole time. No, I have been. I have been. What are you reading about?

I'm reading that there are a lot of comments. I'm just like scrolling through my profile picture comments where just one idiot after another is saying, you know, yeah, it's the religion of peace, but it's not because there's a piece of you over there. Go ahead. Huh? No, no, no. Go ahead.

No, no. saying that, you know, essentially it's the same, it's the same argument. They have blinders on because every time one of these incidents happen, they're very dramatic, right? Well, they're horrifying. Of course it's horrifying. Yeah, vote up terrorism.

It's very horrifying. It's very dramatic. But, relatively speaking, if you combine all the terrorist deaths done by Islam in the last five years in Europe doesn't even compare

to the number of terrorist deaths caused by one American, Timothy McVeigh, in Oklahoma. Then why do you need to say it? Yeah, like everyone knows that. They don't, dick. They don't. Look at these comments. But again, you're not going to sway them. If they want to believe that, you're not going to sway them by saying,

oh, remember, guys, it's not all Muslims. Timothy McVeigh's worse? Like, none of those people would argue that, would they? That he's like, oh, Timothy McVeigh, like, they're not comparing terrorist acts. They're saying, in my opinion, they're saying, hey, maybe we should look at this Islam thing and see why it always seems to pop up. Like, I don't think that's crazy. It doesn't always pop up.

It doesn't always pop up. Yeah, it is. Because again, the argument is, if you have a statistic that says 99.9% of this certain thing. But no one's doubting that. No, but to even suggest that it might be Islam is deeply offensive and insulting. How is it suggesting that it's Islam? That what? What do you want to look at?

What is the study you want done that will satisfy that will say, then you can finally wipe your hands clean and say, okay, we're good at this. I'm not interested in wiping my hands clean. I think that's part of the misunderstanding here. Like I don't, I'm not looking for a number. I'm not trying to solve for X. I'm wondering, why is it that this always should? Like I brought in terrorists. I said, what was it poverty?

Looked it up. That counterterrorism expert rode in and said, no. No, he's wrong. He's fucking wrong. I brought in the stats and showed him. He said there is no correlation. There's no evidence. He said, these are his words.

He said, there's no evidence that shows that countries with the most poverty increase have the most levels of terrorism. And I looked it up and it's absolutely fucking true. All the countries with the most poverty, the greatest income disparity, the greatest wealth inequality, all the countries right along the line, Iraq, Afghanistan, they all have the highest incidence of terrorism. You're telling me that we need to start looking at the teachings of Islam where 1.6 billion. billion people are not violent, are not doing these acts. We need to give an equal amount of weight to both of these ideologies, to both of these theories that maybe poverty is correlated to it versus this religious doctrine. I don't know why it's so offensive to so many people to suggest that we look into it. Like what's the deal here with all these people? Why are they manipulated

by this specifically? Are you insane? It's just like the video game argument. Why Which I think is valid to look into. Okay. Video games always pop. What's going on with these video games? What kind of effect do they have? It seems pretty, seems to always pop up. It seems, seems extreme.

That's all. You have blinders on. You don't think violent video games make people a little bit violent in the head, kids, with not completely developed brains? You think that, I mean, how many hours of violent video games should they be playing every day? I don't think 24. I think that's a little bit too much violence. Well, here's the question.

Once you have the answer, what do you do about it? I don't know. I don't even know what form the answer would take. Take Islam, for example. What if you do find some kind of link? What do you do about it? Well, then I don't know. I mean, that's like, what did we do about gay shit?

Christian fundamentalists hate gay people, right? They're trying to wipe it out. What do we do about that? But Christian fundamentalists are a sliver of the pie. They're not representative. No, I don't know. No, they're fucking not. Here, you know what, let's talk about this.

Let's talk about Christian terrorism, okay? The Lord's Resistance Army. You ever heard of this? No. Well, yeah, you have. You heard about it in 2012, because that's Coney. Joseph Coney. Oh, the Lord's Resistance Army.

He claims that he only has one law, and it's the Ten Commandments, and he bides by the Ten Commandments. And those are his... He's a very fucking religious dude, right? He's doing the Lord's work, killing, raping, capturing, indoctrinating people. That's a Christian terrorist, right? But when we think of terrorism, we're only thinking about Islam because that's the only thing that ever comes up. I don't have a problem with labeling that as a Christian terrorist. Hold on, Dick. That's fine. But why aren't these same people, right?

Why aren't you saying, well, let's take a look at maybe and see if Christianity is the cause of this? Because clearly it fucking isn't. Clearly, the majority of Christians aren't the Lord's Resistance Army. Why is nobody saying, not all Christians are like that? Like, nobody, it would take it for granted, right? Because it's not the narrative that the media can sells. Islam terrorism, like it goads people into this argument. Are they selling that narrative still? Absolutely.

Oh man, I don't know about that. Sean, something interesting you said. This is a really important question. I think everyone should think about this is what do you do about it? I had an argument with a friend a long time ago who told me he had this professor at, I think it was at Carnegie Mellon. And he said this professor wrote this paper that's very controversial and very contentious in academic circles. Because he's making the case that black people have, lower IQs?

You said this on the podcast before. Right? Okay. I mean... They did the whole thing. Okay. So, for anyone who hasn't heard that, that's essentially the gist of it, right? This guy's saying that black people have lower IQs, et cetera, et cetera.

If that, let's just say, let's just ignore all the evidence. Let's give it, let's grant it. Let's just say that it's true. Yeah. What do you then do about it? Yeah. What can you possibly do that, how is that information even useful? Well, I'll tell you what you do in the case of Christian fundamentalism.

you find the Pope and you say, hey, tell everybody it's okay to be gay. So when you go to, when you find that there's something wrong, that there's something, maybe there's something in Islam that might be a little fucky, maybe some hidden rules that 1.6 billion people don't follow, but the fundamentalists do. You go find the head of it and you say, hey, can you like disavow these rules and say that it's not okay to kill in the name of Muhammad and to protect Islam? Can you like this avow?

Because that's what would fix that problem. If the Pope had come out and said, hey, Lord's Resistance Army, just to clarify about those Ten Commandments, there's no raping. Then the Lord's Resistance Army would suddenly sit back and say, hey, that's a good point, Pope. Thank you for telling me. These guys, Dick, are going to be doing whatever they're going to be doing,

no matter what, and they're going to find justification to do it. And it doesn't matter if it's religion. It doesn't matter if it's land, if it's some different ideology, if it's revenge, if it's poverty, whatever it is, they're going to find some reason to attack people. And religion is super easy to do because people believe it. It's super easy to manipulate people who are religious and also poor and desperate and impoverished. These are not wealthy people who are doing this.

I think that poverty has a much higher correlation than religion does. Maybe. I don't know. I'm a list of that expert, though. He said it didn't. I know you said that he's wrong. He's absolutely wrong, and I posted the statistics. That guy, I mean, that guy's job relies on there always being terrorism, right? Oh, you think he's ginning it up?

He's absolutely wrong. But you think since his job relies on terrorism, he's like, confusing people to keep the machine going? It's politically shaded for sure. I think it's politically shaded for sure. Okay. Yeah, but the evidence is absolutely there. Look it up. And Dick, I want you to, can you do this favor for me after this podcast is over?

I want you to hop on my Facebook page and just look at the comments. I don't want to go read comments on your Facebook page. Well, I mean, it's essentially affirming what you're saying. These guys don't exist. These knee-jerk, not-all Muslims or not-all-blank, whatever, those guys? Yeah, I think that bigotry exists, but I have this specific problem is with these not-all-blank knee-jerks because I brought in other examples of them doing this. Like, I didn't want to dwell on this terrorism shit for that long. but it seems like they show up and just ruin conversations

by repeating things that nobody thinks. It's just a big echo chamber. Like they're getting in there and telling each other this feel-good nonsense that everybody already knows. Like when that yes-all women hashtag happened, and then the not-all men happens, like, could you shut the fuck up with the not-all men? Nobody is saying that.

That's not what this is about at all. Just like in this case, it's like it's not about that. at all right now. Well, if you click on some of those tweets where people are making these comments and look at the conversation, like click on the view conversation because it shows you the thread, it's usually in response to somebody making one of these statements. Like, we should all turn them to glass, it's all Muslims,

etc., etc. This, I... It's an extreme statement. Yeah, it's an extreme statement, but it exists and it's out there, and I am shocked and overwhelmed by the sheer amount I have seen in my comment section on the website. It's really, really disheartening. I encourage you to look at it I mean if you won't even look at it Dick You're ignoring that the problem is there

No I just don't want to read a bunch of repetitive Bigoted comments like what'd why would I Why would I go do that? On the internet I'm not like internet comments don't really phase me as much As they phase you Like I'm not gonna read it and go oh my I get the vapors over it

But Dick you cannot It's mostly kids venting You cannot make the statement That nobody's making these comments And then also when I point out that they are and I tell you exactly where to go to read them, you say, well, I'm not going to read them. You can't, both of those things can't exist.

You got to choose one. Here's what I know. I clicked on the words on Twitter. I don't see any of that shit. All I see is not all Muslims, not everybody, be careful. You don't want to offend a quarter of the planet. We can't talk about, you don't even mention it. I'm already, I'm already pre-apologizing for anything that might happen.

One guy's already afraid of the violence that Muslims are going to suffer because of white extremists. I'm like, give me a fucking break here. They do. The Sikh temple got shot up because of some white dipshit extremist because he listened to this narrative and then went in there and shot him because guess what?

Sikhs look Islamic. Seeks look ethnic. Let's just go in and shoot a bunch of Sikhs. Peaceful fucking Sikhs who have nothing to do with Islam or anything. He doesn't even do the basic amount of research. Like he wants to go shoot up a madrasa or something. And he fucking picks a Sikh temple. That's what this is resulting in.

don't take it lightly. The people who believe the shit dick are way, way more than you than you might think. And if you're not even willing to look at the comment thread to see why they're saying that, then that's a problem. Why do you think I'm not willing to look at the fucking comment thread? I just don't want to waste time. You read one. It seemed like a smart ass comment. Like I've read shitty comments online before. I know what people say. I just don't think these knee-jerk jackasses are helping anything. Well, that's a different argument. If you want to say they're not helping? Who knows? I mean, maybe maybe you're right, because

saying shit online they're just in a big circle jerk. That's all it is. It's a big circle jerk. Like every time there's any kind of cop violence or oh, not all cops, not all cops. Like nobody's fucking saying it's all cops, but they're trying to open up a conversation about this and you

fucking idiots are so eager to congratulate yourselves for being so progressive and sympathetic to everyone. You can't even stop to think about it for one. second critically. Like you're so terrified of anybody generalizing ever that you stop thinking.

That's my problem with it. Yeah. Well, I think that I think you have to be careful which one of these things you look at. Because when you start to turn, when you start to say, you know, turn the critical eye on

any ideology that billions of people are into, right? Be it Buddhism or or Islam or Judaism or Christianity or whatever, which I don't think there's a billion Jews out there. But if you start to turn that glass towards that, they might start turning the glass towards, oh, I don't know, say,

Western imperialism, which is how they view. Good! Everybody look at everything! Fuck your beliefs and your religion. Diviscerate it. It's all tradition, which is stupid. Take it, tear it apart, find what's wrong with it, and stop it. I don't have a problem subject to.

any of these things to a microscope. If you, if you, if the majority of whatever ideology are peaceful, it's not that ideology. I will go on the record to saying that. I believe it absolutely. The majority of all these ideologies are not violent. You know what the majority of, uh, of, uh, things

are in the world? The majority, well, never mind, it's a different statement. I don't want to, I don't want to make that statement. People are not these things. Like all, any of these, like all of these billions of Muslims around the world, they're just people going around. Like, they're not even, they're not even, like, doing the exact religion.

I mean, you know that. Everybody, everybody knows that. Whatever they call themselves, they're not doing exactly what the scriptures tell them to do, right? Well, there's varying degrees. They're not a robot. Yeah, they pick and choose,

and they got their own religion in their head. That's the point, yeah. Everybody fucking knows that. Everybody knows that. Stop congratulating yourselves for thinking you're broadcasting this to the world. Well, if you're saying that everybody knows that, but just even a few minutes ago, you said,

Dick Masterson, instant amnesia. You said a few minutes ago, why doesn't the Pope come out and say, hey, Christians, why don't you be more tolerant towards the gays? You just said that. And now you're saying that nobody's going to, everyone's going to believe whatever they want to a degree anyway. So, I mean, that's the problem, Dick. Like, people are going to find some justification for whatever shitty beliefs that they want, whatever shitty agenda they have, they're going to find a justification for it,

be it religion, be it land, be it, some ideology. nationalism. Yeah, so they all deserve to be attacked. They fundamentally all deserved to be deconstructed until they have no power. I'm fucking tired of defending any ideology, and this one is a big one. They should all have their belief system torn apart, and the bad part should be exercised, let's got fucking cancer. That's what I think. That's just one man's opinion, though. I'm not a professional in this field. One point six billion people should be, should have their ideology torn apart because... No, seven billion. Not. Not. Not 1.6, 7.

Yeah. Everybody. Even though there's no evidence that the ideology causes this. The ideology in and of itself should be deconstructed just because it exists. Oh, well, yeah, I mean, that's what

theologians do. Religious scholars do that all the time. They look at different religions and see what's in common, what's not in common. Well, I think we should be allowed to have this conversation. You are? Yeah.

You are. I'll get a lot of shit for it. Just not if you're banned on the forum. I can't believe you ban those guys You just said you should get these people out like a cancer Cut them out like a cancer Find out what the problem is And cut them out like a cancer

That's what I fucking did dick Not people They're people They're individual people The ideas aren't the problem here The ideas are not It's not like a thought virus That's going around and infecting

1.6 billion people If there were If there were say A million or two million Of these people around Even then it's a small minority But then I'd step by and say Okay well there's a lot

Wait a minute, two million of what? Terrorists. Well, see, but then you get into the other conversation of what, how many people sympathize? Like, how many people are down with Sharia law? And then you're like, well, now I need to, now I really want to start asking hard questions about what's going on here. Right? Without offending, like without, oh, not all, not all 1.6 billion. Yeah, I know, I know, I know.

I know it's not all 1.6 billion. But let's ask some harder questions than just, it's poverty. Money doesn't fix everything. No, money doesn't fix everything, but it is poverty and ignorance. You don't see really well-read, highly red, highly intelligent people, blue-collar workers blowing themselves up. It's not them. Those aren't the ones, the really smart terrorists,

they're the Osama bin Laden who are just sitting in a case. But that's the dangerous one. Well, yeah, but we... That's the worst one. Right, but you get them. But the ones who are causing the trouble, like the henchmen are just ignorant, poor people. The henchmen don't even get credited. in the movie. It's just henchmen. He's got

no name. The henchmen don't fucking matter. But the henchmen are the problems. In World War 2, Hitler, World War II, Germany was really feeling down on themselves because everybody came down on them after World War I. Everybody. And Germans were not feeling proud. Germans were not feeling good about themselves.

And Hitler tapped into that emotion and said, no, you know what? We're not only good, we're the best. We're the best people. And these fucking Jews who are the problem. Let's turn our attention towards the Jews who are actually the bankers, and maybe he had some stick up his ass about a Jewish banker sometime,

but he characterized that as the problem, and then that turned into fascism, but the people who carried out his orders, they're not the ones, they're not the ones, they're the ones who are being emotionally manipulated. And same thing with these people right now. There's this whole argument, I think I read it on Slade or The Atlantic a while ago,

where this guy's talking about, how many Islamic men who go into terrorism might feel so downtrodden and down on themselves because of their lifestyle and because they don't have much. All they have is their religion. It's almost like it's almost exactly like an American gang. Gang members only have their pride in the reputation. And when you try to take that away from them, they lash out and they'll do it at any cost. That's why we have a gang problem. That's why we have a terrorism problem.

I think they have something really big in common. Yeah, I'll give you that. Yeah. You want to do your problem? Well, maybe these poor people... Yeah, that's fine, but I just want to say one more thing that, you know, something that could actually help out some of these poor people, Muslims or gangs or, you know, the terrorists or anyone, is saving $5.

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Movember is for prostate cancer. Yeah, prostate cancer. I mean, against prostate cancer. It's not for. Oh, it's not for? No. Harry's is not promoting, it's not encouraging you to stick a microwave wand up your ass?

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price. That guy who called in our friend with the bad haircuts. Yeah. He's a Harry's user. Yeah. Yeah, big time because he saves a ton of money. Smooth as a baby's bottom. His own baby's bottom. Oh, wow. Go to harris.com, enter promo code biggest problem, save $5 off your first purchase. They'll ship it right to your door, guys. Nothing more convenient. Really, really, really high quality blades and it supports the show thank you so much guys and for for tweeting these at harries they've been uh they've been uh they've they've tweeted us back yeah they tweeted us back today super cool and they tweeted us a little emoji of a punch like a fist punch punching i think that was a bro fist oh bro fist yeah let's give them credit let's give them the benefit of the doubt and say it was

a punch to the face every bro every brofist is a punch and sometimes that punch is met with another brofist anyway guys dick i got a problem i got a real big problem. Okay. Bigger than yours, but only... I think so. I think it's bigger than yours. I think it's the root cause of this.

I think it's... Zellets. Oh, zealots. Yeah. Zellets are the problem. I thought you're going to bring in something a little lighter to balance out the heavy problem and a light problem.

Boy, was that one. Nope, just a big, long, heavy... You don't have a light problem in there? You want to get really into the same type of problem for the entire show. Well, but I have... have different types of zealots in here because there's different types and it's important to

realize that zealotry of all different colors and shades are problems. As we know, there's ethnic and racial supremacists, right? Those are definitely zealots. There is political or ideological zealots. Which we haven't even gotten around to that. America was founded by those people.

By zealots? Political zealots. Yeah, they really had a heart on for freedom. Yeah, well, I think they just got tired taxation from overseas. Same thing. Yeah. There's those zealots. There's religious fanaticism, right?

Promoting religious views to an extreme. That's what caused this whole shit. That ends poverty. You better not cut that out. No. All right. No, why would I? So it had something to do with it.

Well, they used it to manipulate these people. Okay, okay. Yeah. Now we're talking. But if it's the exact same doctrine that everyone else is reading, a 1.6 billion of them, And 99.9% of them are not acting out, then it's pretty safe to say that's not the cause. It's also a large part to do with poverty and ignorance and lack of education.

Then you have anti-religious fanaticism. This is one where people think, well, you know, I'm an atheist. I just do my thing. I don't bother anyone. But, man, I fucking hear from them all the time. And have you ever heard of the... They're called sophomores. That's what they're called.

Yeah, they're called sophomores, idiots. Have you heard of anti, excuse me, have you heard of the militant atheist movement? Have you heard of this? No. Yeah. No, not too many people have. A bunch of fedores and overcoats. Well, I think they actually did have, they had an insignia, I think, and there was some kind of uniform.

But this was really popularized in Russia, I think by Lenin in the 40s, in the late 30s. in the late 30s, early 40s, and he promoted this extreme anti-extreme form of atheism. It was the extreme atheist movement. Oh, this is a real thing. It's a real thing. It's a real thing. This is the militant atheist movement.

In 1940, this is from Wikipedia, and there's a whole article about it, but over 100 bishops, tens of thousands of Orthodox clergy, and thousands of monks and lay believers, had been killed or had died in Soviet prisons and the Gula. They actually went around and rounded up these monks, any religious people, and then it killed a lot of them. A lot of bishops and priests, they were just rounded up and killed. And there were these atheist churches that popped up, not quite churches, but they called them

like houses of enlightenment or whatever, where they would go and then read poetry and talk about science and all these things. It was kind of like, you know, R-slash atheism's utopia on Reddit. Sounds awesome. Yeah, it was real great until they started killing. hundreds and thousands of people. Yeah. There's consumer... What do you mean?

Better than a violent video game. Do it in a real life. Same thing. Yeah, that you can be religiously fanatical. You can be religiously fanatical. You can be anti-religiously fanatical. There's consumer fanatism. Oh, I know who you're talking about now.

Who do you think? Android fan boys, right? Get the fuck out of here. It's Apple, idiot. iPhone and Apple, idiots. These guys... So there's this study. Are you talking about fanaticism?

Because I know that Apple people identified the Apple logo and the same part of their brain is religious iconography. Yeah, it's true. They've done all sorts of studies. There's a study here called the Dark Side of Consumer Fanaticism. It says research has shown that some products or brands have fanatical followers who remain highly enthusiastic, devoted, and whose loyalty remains unwavering despite counter-supportive facts and information

or persuasive arguments to switch. While many organizations would benefit from having such devoted fans, Within its consumer base, some authors have pointed to the detriments associated with such rigidity, inflexibility, and dogmatism. And they go on and they say that fanatical followers sometimes even hurt the company that they are in support of because they can be so attached to the existing brand or products and can be so highly resistant to change that they can retaliate against new product launches and or brand repositioning leading to its demise. That's actually what happened to Coca-Cola in the mid-80s. With new Coke?

With New Coke, yeah. Didn't it taste like shit, though? No, they still make New Coke. People liked New Coke. People like New Coke, but they were resistant to the changes. They do? Yeah, a lot of people. No, they make new Coke.

I don't think they make new Coke. Didn't they? No. You know, I believe they tweak the formula. Yeah, actually, you may be right, Sean. Well, that's the thing. They always say, oh, original formula. Soda manufacturers, for 100 years, have constantly changed their formula.

As things become cheaper, you know, they make a higher profit on it. Right. That's, nobody sticks to the original formula. They want you to think that, but they get tweaked all the time. Yeah, yeah. Their mistake there was announcing it. Actually, I don't know if you guys remember. So you think that people actually just lied about the taste?

Like they would have preferred it or they would have not even noticed if Coke hadn't told them that they're changing up the formula? No, I don't think people would have noticed. Oh, man, you're very cynical about me. I wish I remembered what it tasted like because I definitely remember when it came out. Yeah. I think that people who, people, first of all, I'm talking to the two biggest idiots when it comes to the taste of Coke. Oh, God, damn it.

Joker number one to Joker number two. You dipshits couldn't even tell the same exact sample of Diet Coke. That was flat iceless bullshit. That was such a bullshit test. That was a bullshit test. Yeah, you got a bullshit. Fuck you and your coat test. You know what, Sean?

Say anything you want, you failed my control, which is you couldn't even recognize the same two samples. You wouldn't know a control if I shoved it up your ass. Pepperie Sean. Welcome back. People were loving your shitty comments. A real shitty comments last episode Well, when you opened the door a little bit Like, I mean, you talked about bangs for fuck's sake

Yeah, whatever What did you mean to say? You know what I was talking about No, no one, no, well, we know what you are talking about She was just cutting my bangs or something like that Yeah, the front, where my bangs would be, that's where she was Okay, and I don't appreciate these comments Someone in the comment section said,

Hey, Maddox, did your barber go down to the beach and come back with an apron full of sand? I saw that one. No, idiot, it was tit. big old boobies in my face. It was wonderful for her. Anyway, there's leisure fanaticism, people who just love to party and have leisure, excuse me, pleasure to extremes. These are people fanatics. Yeah, okay, yeah. Well, the zealids. Fanaticism is zealotry. It's zealotry. It's belief of something. Different words, though. What's the definition? I got the definition. A zealot is a fanatical and uncompromising pursuit of religious, political, or other ideals.

It's fanaticism. That's what zealotry is. So leisure fanatism, these are people, you think, well what's a big deal man they're just having a good time man smoking pot fucking around all day watching TV well guess what yeah what's wrong with that yeah what's wrong with that tell you what's wrong with that sounds like a dangerous person sounds like a weekend yes that's a problem sounds to me like a weak link who's leaching off society who's leech someone's paying for them oh what are they taking your video games from you leaching off society no someone's paying for them they're not getting jobs they're not leading leading productive lives they're a drain on the economy they're a drain on everything They're big drain.

Flesh them down it. Sports fanaticism. Oh, they are annoying. This is a huge problem, okay? You remember? I don't know about a huge problem. Okay, go ahead. Okay, it's not.

But it's a problem, and it's huge. It results in serious death or injury, riots, millions of dollars in damage. You remember back in 2011 on opening day in Los Angeles? Yeah, that was awesome. I got kicked out of that game. No, it wasn't awesome, Dick, because it ruined one man's life. Yeah. Well, three men, actually.

But some guy, his name, let's see, I don't have his name here. Oh, it's Brian. Brian, well, I forget his last name. His name is Brian. Stowe. Yeah, Brian Stowe. That's his name. Brian Stowe.

He was walking out of the stadium, I believe, and he was attacked by L.A. Dodgers fans after attending a game against the Giants. He was put into a coma, received traumatic brain injury, has to take 13 medications every day. He has to use a walker to move around. He has to take two different types of anti-seizure medication. He lost all this time and he's on disability permanently. He's permanently disabled because of sports fanaticism. Oh, but Maddox, not all fanatics are like that.

I don't know if you didn't know that. Actually, they are a dickhead. Not all fanatics attack fans outside of the game. There's millions of fans out there and they don't all attack people. Look at the stats. Well, that's a different argument. If you're saying fans, true. There's billions of sports zealots out there that don't attack people.

Right. See, nobody jumps in defensive sports fans. But Dick, shouldn't we look? look at sports as an ideology? Yes, you should. They're aggressive. Shouldn't we deconstruct and see what about sports causes these fanatics to fight other people?

It's the aggression and the alcohol. It's part of sports. Yes, it should be like that. Did you see these two shitheads who attacked this guy? I, you know something? I got kicked out of that game at the same time that guy was getting beaten to death. How weird is that?

For throwing a beer at a Giants fan. Yeah. You threw a beer in a giant fan? Yeah, he was dancing. Problem, Dick, Ed? No, he was like making faces and dancing, and I was like, oh, I'll put a stop to this, wham. What an asshole. Grabbed a beer, winged at him.

You're a fanatic. Yeah, fun. Fun, but some guy got beat to death and got permanently disabled. Well, I wasn't part of that, but the phalanx rolled out. You could have been? If those guys, if that guy you threw the beer at turned around and started picking a fight and maybe his buddies jumped you, guess that could have been you, do? Oh, please, Giants fans, go back.

I'll punch them back to San Francisco. Welcome to L.A., bitch. So they roll out the phalanx to throw me out of this game, right? I was there with my life coach. Were there, a Romans there? No, no, they rolled out like that, like the cards in Alice in Wonderland. Like, hope they need like 30 guys to kick me out of this dodger game. Oh, 30 guys, please.

You flatter yourself. I don't know why they use that many guys. I just thought it was funny that all these guys are like unfolding like a deck of cards. I'm like, what the fuck is? It doesn't take this many people to kick me out of the game. So they're all, they all unfold all the way up the stairs. and then this one little dude with a different colored shirt comes walking around, marching up the stairs, he goes, you, you're out.

I'm like, ah, well, this has been fun, guys, but I'll see you later. So I go out with him on a date. He kicks me on, and he's like, you know what, you know why he got kicked out? I was like, yeah, he threw a beer at that guy. He was doing a little dance. He goes, well, you know, people have been getting hit with beer bottles in there. What do you think about that? Yeah.

You guys don't serve glass beer. You don't serve any, you get, shut the fuck up. a plastic cup. I'm out of the game, all right? And he's like, oh, okay. I'll see you. So I'm waiting for my life coach out there outside of the game, thinking he would get up and we could go to Pacific Dinian Carnie. No, he always do. No, he doesn't leave. Of course.

I find out later that he switched seats and moved into my seat so he could talk to the girl that I've been talking to for the whole game. And he said, as soon as he sat down, he's like, hey, so, you know, what's your dad like? And she goes, wow, I've never seen a white guy get kicked out of a Dodger game before. Hmm. Half Mexican, though. Half Mexican. She didn't know it. You know, Dick, I think that it's worth looking at, you know... You're back on this now?

The sports ideology that causes people to be violent. You know, and I'm tired of people saying it's not all sports fans, because clearly this is happening. It's happening all the time. Shouldn't we look at sports and see what about sports is causing violent thoughts? Yeah, that's the joke I was making. It wasn't a joke, you dickhead. That was your argument. No, that's the joke I was making. that, yeah, I don't know

explain it to you. About video games. And about sports. And then I said that it's violent, that it's violent. And of course it encourages violence. Well, the majority of people who watch sports aren't violent. Maddox, this is the joke I was making when I said it. You never hear somebody say, not all sports fans,

not all sports fans. It's very comparable. Yeah, but it's because nobody's ever saying that sports are the problem that's causing this violence. Although, although Of course they contribute to it. No, although, There is an argument now. It's kind of starting to catch momentum. They are saying that sports

may be causing the athletes themselves to be violent towards their spouses and partners. There is that argument. Okay, wait, let me just as a voice of someone of the non-retard on earth, like I'm saying of the whole earth, like I feel like I have to start speaking for someone who's just not screwed up by TV.

Yeah. Sports 100% contribute to, aggression. Let's just, let's all agree on that. Okay? We don't need any studies to prove it. Of course they do. That's the nature of sports. That's what makes them great. Okay. I can't, I don't know, I don't even know where to begin to deconstruct that. Of course it's true. Well, you think you kick someone's ass on the field and then you just walk off and put on like a top pad and you're like, oh, well, jolly good game, sir. All right, now, let's leave our differences on the field. Fuck no

There was a period of my life where I played sports And I wasn't more aggressive I don't think I was You played sports Yeah Beach volleyball I played baseball

Fuck you I played baseball Huh What kind of football bat did you use Wait wait wait Can you explain the infield fly rule No I don't know I don't remember all the rules

And I probably never even learned it back then When you were like eight How old were you when you played sports I was I believe 13 14 years old Were you playing with eight year olds No I was playing with other 14-year-old's dickhead.

All right. Yeah, I played sports. I didn't feel like I was more aggressive. And I don't feel like the majority of people. Look, man, when people do these things... I'm generalizing again. It's so offensive, I know. Yeah.

Yeah. It's disgusting. It is. Vote up zealots. Zellets are the problem. Zellets are the ones who get kicked out of football games. Zellets are the ones who beat people within an inch of his life and put him in a coma so he can't even spend time with his family and his kids anymore.

I think that's like a criminal, though. Yeah. Most zealots who act on their shit are. Not all zealots. Most Christians, I would say the majority of zealots. This is what it's like with these people. Just not all everything, all the time. You know what, Dick, if that was your argument right from the get-go,

that would have been so much better. Because that's kind of funny. Well, that's where I was going, but it got Shanghai by all this terrorism shit. I mean, it's a big problem. What could be yours? You know, the Westboro Baptist Church is not represented. of any Christians Except themselves.

Well, they're just a bunch of lawyers. Like, that's a... They do that to get money. That is nothing to do with religion. And anyone who talks about it negatively is just promoting their brand. Like, all they do is try to get attacked so they can sue.

I don't know enough about that. Oh, yeah. No, no, go look at it. I mean, it sounds plausible. I'll give you that. It does sound plausible. They don't give a shit about it. Yeah, they're dickheads.

They're dickheads. Anyway, man, zealots. Zellets is my problem this week. I have another one. What are we doing on time? Way over, way over, way over. There's a really long episode, guys. Enjoy.

Enjoy the extra. You got some extra bank for your buck, which is nothing. Just like you'll get it here, he's what? Speaking of, though, a lot of fans are asking about season two of the bonus episodes. Oh, yeah. Coming soon, guys. I think we're launching it in December. What's that?

A week from now? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we're launching season 2 in December. We got a lot of exciting stuff coming. Thank you for supporting the show. The Apple test was really taking a lot of time to plan. Properly.

Yeah. All right, guys, so my problem was zealots. The biggest problem in the universe, the root cause of Dick's problem. And what was yours? Not all blank knee jerks. Thanks for listening. Because they're the jerks, get it? It's another one of those run-play ones.

Oh, really clever. Thanks. Oh, this guy's got a problem. Maybe we should have brought this in his problem. Hey, Maddox and Dick So you know what the biggest fucking problem in the universe Right now for me is Target

You know, what's wrong with Target? I mean, it's a good retail store The biggest fucking problem is They don't observe the ERSRB rules A mature game So I go in trying to buy Fallout 4 But they're like, fuck you, you're not 18

And I'm like, fuck you, your store policy is 17 And they're like, go fuck yourself And I'm like, go fuck yourself And then I got kicked out So what the fuck is wrong with Target And I'm observing the fucking ESRV Go suck a dick, dick and go suck a dick, not off.

What a nerd. I hope that exchange really went like that. Like, I wish every exchange in life went like that. Like, oh, yeah, oh, fuck yourself. Oh, fuck you, buddy. All right, see you. All right, later. And he went home without a video game.

Yeah. Yeah, people do actually enforce the ESRB. I think the more conservative the town, the more likely they are to enforce that bullshit ESRB. Which, you know, you have to be, you have to consider the fact that plain violent video games may make you think more violently. So it's good that they're doing that.

I'd be, man, if there was like a study that came out mapping a person's brain while they were playing violent video games and comparing it to like actually committing violence, if that Venn diagram wasn't a circle, I would be shocked. Dude. That's why they're fun. Because he satisfies violent impulses.

They've been trying to pin video games with violence for so long. And they've done so many studies. They have no correlation between more aggressive behavior. I mean, they found that some kind, See, I'm not saying behavior. You keep skipping straight to behavior. I'm not saying behavior. You're saying thoughts?

Yeah. What difference does it make? I mean, I have acting as a whole other level. Yeah. Okay, but what difference? I have violent thoughts all the time. I had like 10 of them throughout this episode. Yeah.

What difference does it make? It's interesting. It's saying that they're not totally innocent. Like if you're sitting there encouraging yourself to have violent thoughts and if you're already prone to something bad, it's bad. Like, no one's blund. You got to get out of this. binary world

we're either gonna ban them or we're not. Like people should just know that this is an effect of them. I'm fine with that. Yeah, well, it's not... What's wrong with having more information on which people can make choices? Because, Sean, they're disingenuous.

They are doing it specifically to pass legislation to ban video games because a bunch of fundamentalists, a bunch of zealots, a bunch of fanatics are trying to ban video games because they don't like them. They don't like the influence. They don't like the message.

And they don't like that they can't control their kids. I remember when a long time... See, this is the real reason, though. This is why you are afraid of the answers to these studies because you know that they're going to use them for evil. Well, sure. That's the only reason they're looking into it. They're not interested.

They're not doing it out of a curiosity. You know, again, when 99% of the people who play video games are not violent, we know the answer. We know that it's not a problem. Yeah. You don't need any more evidence than that. Okay, I got one more.

Hey, guys, this is Sam, Colin from Oregon. Look, I love this podcast as much as the next ex-guy, but there's one thing that has just been driving me fucking crazy, and it's that Sean has not yet brought in a problem. I mean, look, I love having a stereos on all the other, well, most of the other guests have been great. But look, I just really want to see what Sean comes up with. So, Sean, get your shit together, man.

Sean, get your shit together. Oh, Dick, go fuck yourself. Oh, we don't need it. We don't need it, Sean. We already got cool, Sean. Cool, we already got a cover. I don't like cool Sean and bring in a problem. No, no, no.

I'll bring in a problem. I will. Yeah, you'll bring in a problem for real? Yes, I will. Or, Sean, we're going to put this out there for you a solution. Think about it. No, I want to hear Sean rant. Hmm, okay.

Oh, there. Thank you. I have a feeling of really strong probability that cool Sean's going to be back. I don't know what you care about, though. Sean? I've only seen you lose your cool a couple times. I thought, Sean's... Yeah, I've seen you lose your cool over a tray of wings.

that your brother made you carry? Oh, that was good. Yeah? Yeah. No, that was exerting will. Yeah. So you have to have the will to do what the other one will not. Yeah.

That was a good sibling. Sean, I know you got problems, and I know that they're going to be good because you're a reasonable motherfucker. And with most things, you suck dick and being able to tell good Coke from the other one. You can't even tell the same sample.

God damn it. Yeah. Yeah. Make fun of me now. Okay. You're ugly. You're shit. That's a shit move.

You're being an asshole on purpose. You already made fun of my hair last time. My bangs. A beautiful bangs. Girls love it. Girls love running their fingers through my bangs. Fingering my bangs. If you grew your hair out enough, you could do a Trump do.

I just realized that. That would look pretty sharp on you, I think. It looked like a defeated failure. Yeah, $10 billion failure. Ten billion. Try maybe, almost four. No, he puts his tax returns in the back of Crippled America, which I read in one night.

Not bragging. What are you talking about? His book, Crippled America that he just released. Oh, his tax returns? No, the book about his... It doesn't matter. You're saying he doesn't have $10 billion, $4 billion on a good day. I know, I've seen his worth put between two and a half and four.

Yeah, he's a loser. He's not... He's a loser. Let's talk about Trump real quick. Real quick, final... No, it's too long. It's too long. Okay, we'll talk about Trump next time.