The Biggest Problem in the Universe: Uncucked - Episode 87

Episode Date: June 14, 2018

Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe, the show where we discuss every problem in the universe, from smelly conventioneers to missing audio engineers. With over 5 million downloads, this is the only show where you decide what should or shouldn't be on the big list of problems. I'm Maddox with me as dick. Hey, what's that funny? And Sean is missing this week. Sean is missing. Sean is missing, and I feel responsible for that because he's my friend.

And I brought him in here to help us. Right. But he's not here. Once again, he's in jail. He's in jail. Yes, he's in jail. We got a mug shot from him. He farmed the wrong ass, and he got sent to jail.

But I have a replacement. He's a nice young man, nice young Asian man, so he knows his shit. Oh, all right. A replacement audio engineer, he was my lift driver. I would like, yeah, I mean, you know, the chatty. I'd like to introduce him to you. Yes. I have full confidence in his abilities.

All right. It's DJ Tim. Tim Chang's. Yeah. Yo, what up? DJ Tim Chang's in the house. Are y'all feeling tonight? What the fuck is this?

Okay, yeah, but settle down. How are y'all feeling tonight? This is your lift driver? What the hell are you doing? Yeah, settle down. It's not a DJ type of atmosphere. It's just an audio engineering. He's a real DJ, though.

I'm a DJ, though. You can find me at DJ Tim Chang's services at zanga.com. Hit me up. Please, y'all. I need this money right now, dude. Just hit me up. I get all the music for you. I hit your bomb misfizfos, dude.

I hit your Kinsey, yeah. dude. Just hit me up. Tim, you are a lift driver by day and what you're a side DJ? I'm a lift driver by night because no one will hire me at night. At nightclubs. I never did a nightclub gig, but I'd be down for it. But during the day, if your kids have a birthday party, like, I'll hit you all up, you know.

So you're doing like the birthday party circuit right now. Yeah, you know, I'm a humble dude right now. So, you know, I'm going to start small. During the day, but one day, you know, I'm going to go, quick, quirk, crick, Tim. Yeah. All right. Crazy. All right, Dick.

I don't know what the hell you're doing here. So, Tim, the problems from last week, the biggest problem in the universe. According to voters was presenteism. Oh, really? Yeah. Hey, all right. Followed by Sandy Hook conspiracies. We only had Sandy Hook conspiracy dipshits, I should say.

We only had those two problems last time. But, yeah. Surprisingly prescient. Like, I hadn't thought about Sandy Hook in two. years and then you brought it in and the very next day somebody gets fired because of it. Yeah, someone got fired because of it and it was all over the news.

And so last night I was listening to Coast to Coast a.m. And almost every single call was a Sandy Hook conspiracy dipshit. And this is becoming such a huge problem because all the callers were from disparate areas in the United States.

There was a call from Kentucky, call from Iowa, call from Idaho, Mississippi, all over the United States in different, you would hope that it's just one group of people somewhere squirled away. Like in the backwoods somewhere? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, that's the internet. The internet allows you to just be crazy all over the place, right? Somebody sent in a video proving it. Did you, did you watch that guy's video? What's the video? Somebody emailed both of us and he said, here's why we are asking questions about Sandy Hook.

Oh, yeah, I saw that. Oh, God. Did you watch the video? Insane. It's the crazy. This video, this fucking video, first of all, suggests that the Sandy Huck conspiracy theory has something to do with the MK Ultra conspiracy. Well, let's just start with the crisis actors.

Oh, sure, yeah. So the video is one of the parents at Sandy Hook, or a grandparent, talking about the loss of the kid. Right. And then it shows the same guy in his commercial roles, like, decades ago. Yeah. Or he was a commercial actor. Right.

You know. And they're like, well, see, there you go. There you go. He's an actor. Like, well, yeah. Nothing bad can ever happen. to actors, right? Except like, except every single headline at

TMZ or Perez Hilton. These fucking shitheads. Yeah, this guy used to be an actor, therefore he's a crisis actor. These guys are experts. And they're like, well, why didn't he have more tears? And people say that about Obama, too. It's like, why didn't he have tears about this other thing or that other event? Too many tears.

Too many fucking tears, man. That's the other criticism. Get the hell out of here crying on television like that. Can you imagine? Can you imagine that? What? Being on TV crying? Over dead children?

Oh, no, no, hey, over anything. Over anything. What are you doing? I don't know. They're not your kids. I've never cried before. This is from... Not even as a baby?

No. No. Never. My mom told me. This is from New York Times. Over the weekend, we mentioned this just now, but the Florida professor who cast out on mass shootings is fired. Now, he wasn't fired for that reason.

He was fired for another reason. The last thing, kids. What was he fired for? Might as well. might as well be. He was fired because he didn't disclose his outside businesses to the university. And he has a lot of different conspiracy theories.

And he teaches them in his class too. And the university said to him, like, look, if you want to talk about this bat shit stuff in your class, it's fine, just make sure you'd say that it doesn't represent the university. He didn't do that. And he didn't disclose it as a side business. So he got fired for that.

Is that like an Al Capone? You know what, I don't care. I don't care about that. And then one other thing that's, I looked on YouTube, I mean, you know how last time we talked about these conspiracy theories, theorists making a mint off of these other people suffering with their horseshit theories? Well, you did, but I would like to see some numbers on that.

Well, here you go. Seems like a labor of love to me. No, I have here the YouTube ad with the YouTube video with two ads plastered on it. One is on the bottom for LLC with free processing to incorporate a business. Another one is for gun safes. A huge selection up to 50% off. Call us, and it's a gun safe ad. Well, you got to be safe.

Got to be safe with you guys. Tim Chains, are you running any ads on these conspiracy wackos videos for your bar mitzvah services? I feel like, me in my life right now, man. What is that? I feel like, look, all right, I've been attending Santa Monica Community College for the past four years, all right? And I have not graduated yet. I have not graduated yet. I feel like my teachers hold me back.

She knows I'm good. Yeah. She knows I'm good, but she's not letting me like, she won't let me go back into the studio. How many years have you been? Four? Four years. Why can't you negotiate ours? Tim Chang.

Four years. That was like a few more vowels in that full. Look, man. I need to get back into school. I totally relate to that dude you just talking about earlier about the university shit. And I know. You relate to that guy? I relate to that dude.

Okay. Because I got kicked out of my college. Right. Was that what the story was about? He got fired. He got fired for us. You got kicked out of college as well. Yeah, there you go.

I don't know why he got kicked out. Now, why did you get kicked out? I was sleeping with a teacher. Okay. I don't believe that. Man, there's a... Not on purpose, though. Like, you know...

Not on purpose. You were sleeping with the teacher on purpose? She came over and accidentally banged you? What happened? It just happened. You know, it was just like, I was just talking her like, yo, how do I use garage band better? And then she was like...

What class was this for? This was radio class. It's a radio class Radio class, huh? Radio class, you asked her How do I use garage band more better? And then what happened? And then she started like, yo, like,

let me come after school, right? I'll give you a session. All right, because I know you care about the business. I'm like, all right, so I came over and I don't know, like, I started frisking her. What does that mean? Like, for a gun? Like, what were you?

You mean you started frisking her? Oh, she got, like, nice boobs. Okay, okay. Everything makes sense up to now. So you frisked her for the boobs? Yeah. You're seeing if she was smuggling boobs? But I feel like she let me, you know?

I would never do that. I hope so. She let me, and then she started, she kissed me first after I frisked her first. Okay. And then just start fucking. All right. Okay, Tim. That's a thank you.

Thanks, thanks, Dick, for bringing in your Uber driver. This is working out great. Joseph Dunbar. Your caller at the end of the show is, yeah, lift, get it right. Here's an idiot. Hitler did go to primary school. What Hitler did do was outlaw homeschooling in 1938, which is what Maddox wants to do.

Maddox equals Hitler. The Hitler war continues. This one was funny. Did you see this guy on Twitter? He was a furry, though. He had a fursona. Luca, the Fox. No, I don't know.

He put a quote from you from the bonus episode, which you can get on our website right now for $1. 33. It's a deal. It's a deal. It's a hot deal. It is a picture of you saying, I think you should embrace your pain sometimes. I think it can teach you something, which you said in the bonus episode. Right. Yes. Right next to it is a picture of Charles Manson, who said, pain's not bad, it's good, it teaches you things. A slightly pithier exact version of what you said. Yeah, yeah. How does that make you feel? Here, let me tell you, let me give you another version of that quote that millions of people wear on T-shirts. Yeah, I see. Same smile. I didn't see that.

smile exactly like Charles Manson as well talking about pain teaching you things. I don't. Charles Manson isn't showing any teeth. Right, Tim? That's true, dude. That's true. Shut the fuck up, Tim Chang. That's not true. I don't, first of all, Charles Manson isn't even showing any teeth in that smile. It's kind of like a weird grin. Anyway, here's another version of that quote that millions of people wear on t-shirts all the time. And you hear it in gyms. No pain, no game. Yeah. Yeah. Is that an abstract concept that people aren't familiar with? No pain, no gain. You got to work hard for something. And sometimes you endure pain to get to a better place. I think it's the teaching part that makes people weirded out. Pain, no gain,

is in the context of like exercise. Everything. No, everything in life. Everything in life worth having is worth struggling for. Okay. That's essentially the gist of that statement. All right. True. True. That's right, Tim Chang. You struggled for your garage band. You got proficiency in garage band. What was this class again? Radio? Radio. Intro to radio. Intro to radio. This is like a contemporary class that's being taught right now at Santa Monica Community College. It's not every school. How many credit hours is it, Tim?

Like three. Okay. Like three credits. Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, I know what you mean. Yeah. Tim Chains. Yeah, okay. Great. Here's some voicemail.

Hey, guys. I have got to congratulate you on once again solving a problem through your show. Great. I've been telling everybody about the biggest fucking problem in the universe not getting enough boobs in Snapchat. Yeah, big problem. I have to tell you, after telling at least a good 15, 20 people to listen to this podcast, I have been getting incrementally more boobs in my Snapchat. Incrementally.

Along with horses and dogs and other dips shit item. You know, that's your fault. But booed nonetheless. Dick, Maddox, you guys have won a complete victory in my book. I don't know. And John, you're a pretty cool guy too. Oh, he's not here. He's in jail.

Okay. We'll have that voicemail transcribed and sent to Sean in jail. Yeah, pretty good. I like that about this show. you can complain about something and then make your friends and family listen to it and it's about them. Yeah. But you don't have to confront them directly. Yeah. You can just say, hey, why don't you go check out this episode, right? Yeah. It's very convenient. That's how life should work. Yeah, I have sent these episodes to friends in the past where I thought, ah, maybe they could

get something from this. But nobody ever thinks you're talking about them. Oh, you, that's been your experience? That's been my experience with my whole career. You should bring that in as a problem and then send it to those people. It's funny, because some of my fans are astute enough to pick that up. They say that, Maddox, they write in the comments sometimes. They say, Maddox, half the people who are commenting here are people you're talking about. And I think, yeah, I know. It's amazing how it works.

It's insane because I'm talking about these same dipsets and they're commenting. Same people. All right, you want to do some problems? Yeah, man, I got a problem. I got a real doozy. I got a real doozy over here. This is a problem that affects mostly large. cities, larger urban cities.

It's street art abolitionists. Oh. Yeah. Smart. I hate those guys if I know what you're talking about. Well, what I'm talking about are people who cover up street art. Yeah. Murals.

Murals are essentially the first murals were cave paintings, guys. And if we didn't have those, we wouldn't have any kind of historical record of cavemen. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I'm with you. All right. Thank you, Tim Chang.

I used to live in a cave. Okay. It's for real. Tim. Okay, where was your... What cave did you live in? What are you talking about? Huntington Beach.

Huntington Beach. That actually sounds reasonable. There's caves in Huntington Beach. You mean literally you lived in a cave? Yeah, for like several weeks, but, you know, I'm good now. Did you leave any murals, any marks behind? That kind of mark, you know what I mean? Yeah.

All right. We need a UV license. Tim Chang. Fucking Tim Chang. It's so fucking annoying. Yeah, so what? Are you imagining cavemen walking by the ancient murals and scrubbing them off? Yeah.

The real bureaucratic... They killed all those guys back then. Somebody fucks with your art and your cave. You kill that guy. Well, there's this new trend I've been seeing these pictures pop up on Reddit where a mural will be covered up. And someone will go in response to it and spray paint. says here, this wall used to have art on it, and now it's covered in dicks, and then they spray paint little dicks all over the wall, and they've been doing this all over the world where people cover up murals.

And I looked into why this can be a real big problem. And surprisingly, this is something that occurs not just with street art, but historical, historical art, historical murals. And there's two controversies right now in the news, actually, one from Kentucky and one from Idaho. And it's interesting how they parallel each other, but they are unrelated in the artwork they're talking about. This first clip is from the University of Kentucky. Listen to this. From wkyt.com. Here we go.

A controversial mural inside a building on UK's campus will soon be covered up. That move comes two weeks after students expressed their concerns about it. UK officials say the mural in Memorial Hall shows the history of Lexington. But they also say something about it must change. So the mural they're talking about, I looked at it, and it's a mural that was painted in the late, the turn of the century around that time, like the 1930s, something like that. It shows the history of Kentucky, more or less. Any lynchings? No, there were no lynchings, but black students did notice that there were some depictions of slavery.

Well, it happened. Yeah, it happened. and the argument is that it should be kept up. And I looked into it and I thought, well, I'm fine with it being kept up so long as it's in an appropriate area, like a museum, or someplace where people go to see that sort of thing. So I looked at the building that it was in. Wait, this is just a mural.

This is just a painting on the side of a building. It's not in the side of the building. It's in the lobby of a building. Okay. Don't they have the right to put that there? Well, sure, but it should be in an appropriate. building. This belongs in a museum, is what you're saying?

Well, hold on. I looked into the, to see what the building was that it was in. I thought, well, if it was something like a dorm or, you know, like a frat house or a cafeteria or something, maybe you can move it to a better place. This is in the University of Kentucky Memorial Building. Okay. It's a very appropriate building, I think, for this mural. Oh, sure. That's kind of what people go there to see is the history of Kentucky and to remember.

fallen soldiers and things like that. I think it's pretty appropriate there. But the University of Kentucky right now, I don't know if they've already bowed to the pressure to remove this mural, but they're considering it. But that's not street art. It's not street art, but essentially, I looked into

what street art. I mean, you're talking about, like, graffiti, like, banksy. Like, I love that shit. People taking the, I don't know, I wish I knew how to do it. Tim, you probably know how they do this. You get, like, a photocopy, like a giant six-foot-tall photocopy,

they put them on like those electric booths. Like they'll take like a big picture of, they'll take like an evil looking picture of some political figure. You know, they like wash it on and like, oh, that glue and they spread it on. It looks cool. It's, it is cool. And it's a, it's a type of social dissent that,

that really undermines authority, I think, because it's illegal. It's illegal. Sure. But it's also free speech. And it's, it's protest. A lot of times it's protest against some ugly intrans. ad a lot of times.

Oh, you think so? Oh, yeah. Okay, what about just graffiti? Let's get the scale here. No, graffiti is not street art. No, graffiti is noise. At what point does the graffiti become art? When it's art, when it's a depiction of something, when it's a mural, or if it's done in a stylized fashion, if the street art, if they write something in a stylized way, yeah, if they write something in a

stylized way, I guess it's a function. I don't want to have a strict rule, but it's a function of how much time and effort they put into it, I think. Okay. I put a lot of time efforts in my DJ work, man. Tim, it doesn't sound like it. That intro sounds like shit. What?

Tim Changs. That's great. What are you talking? That's the first draft right there. Still a good, still a good intro right there. Still a good intro. You did that with your mouth, dude. There's no instruments or sound effects in there. Amen.

Tim Changs. Yeah. Okay, we hear it Tim. Tim, no, you don't have to play it anymore. My mouth is my paintbrush. My DJ set is my canvas. Yeah. Yeah, someone should cover up your mouth.

Remove that mural. So who are you talking about here? I don't know. You're talking about the people who have a problem with murals. Well, yeah. So a lot of times in cities, what people will do to assuage graffiti by gangs is to put up some street art, some murals. and a lot of times they'll commission these very same artists, these graffiti artists,

to put up some actual street art. And that's something they do to, because the alternative is to have a bunch of graffiti everywhere. Or just a bunch of boring gray walls. Fuck that. Yeah, or boring gray walls. And it represents the community. And this is actually, there's a book called Viewpoints,

Visual Anthropologists at work. And this is kind of funny. Oh, actually, yeah, this is kind of funny here. It says here that a lot of times the street art they do encourages cooperation amongst gangs. So gang members have to respect each other on some level to say, okay, well, this is actually art, right? Sometimes the reason people graffiti is because it's a protest

against a lack of art. And the only thing we see in our outside world is commercial messages. Okay. There's a city in Brazil that outlawed, any kind of commercial messages. No ads? In public, yeah, no ads. And a bunch of journalists went down there to check it out,

and they said it was really refreshing because you'd step outside and be in an urban environment without being constantly bombarded with commercial messages. Oh, man, I wish there was the opposite of that somewhere. It's called New York. No, no, 10 times more, 100,

like even every square inch of the asphalt had an ad on it. That would be like a utopia for me. Oh, yeah. I just want to see it. Yeah. So much, you can't even close your eyes without seeing an ad. I mean, basically, it's every NASCAR uniform.

Every NASCAR uniform. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that would be awesome. A bunch of suckers walking around with pens oil ads all over them. But anyway, this book, Visual Viewpoints, excuse me, viewpoints, visual anthropologists at work. They talk about cooperation amongst gang members. This is actually kind of funny how old this writing is.

But it says, artists' group names, though many murals are anonymous, others include the artists' or organizations' names. somewhere in the work. For this reason, some pictorial murals constitute very large gang markers. Neighborhood organizations and schools have taken up this tradition and have used murals effectively to delineate their sphere of influence. A good example of the relation between clubs and murals is the case of Adam, a mural called Human Support. Adam is the leader of a local neighborhood club of homeboys or homies, and they put homeboys and homies in my homeboys, dude. What do you do with your homies? Man, we kick it, dude. We play football.

You play football with your homies? Yeah, your homies come over and play football, huh? Yeah. What kind of football do you play with your homies? Yeah, touch football or? Not like full pads, helmet. Uh-huh. Full contact.

We do that. I mean, we do it back in my high school, but you know. Yeah. Okay, Tim. Tim Chang, thanks. Tim Chang. You don't need to play that fucking drop, dude. You just talked about football.

Full contact. You and your homies go to the locker room at your high school and suit up. for a friendly game of full contact football. That's right. What, five on, two on two? Three on seven sometimes. I'm a quarterback. And then my boy Carl, Ronnie, they the receivers.

Man, we don't need no fucking, dude. We don't know a fucking lineman, dude. You don't need a ref or anything? Man, we do the ruffs, dude. Oh, okay. I imagine that's a very fair game of full contact football you're playing. Yeah. I love it.

Are you skins or shirts? Man, I'm always skins, dude. You see these skins, right here. Yeah, to put your pants back on, buddy. All right. So anyway, it goes on, a team of muralists who wished to paint the neighbor. Thank you for that

interjection, Tim, about your homeboys. A team of muralists who wished to paint in the neighborhood negotiated with Adam. He and his group marked the site of the mural, indicating their support and intent to defend the painting from marking by other clubs. They assisted with production and continued to defend the painting once it was complete.

The approval and cooperation of Adam was totally necessary prerequisite to completion of the mural and its long-term survival once finished. So these social anthropologists are looking at these murals and they see, a lot of times you walk by some street art in a city. And it looks cool. It might be some crazy depiction of Mickey Mouse or something like that. There's a great Trump one on the 10 right now, the 10 freeway. What is it? Oh, yeah, he looks like a total asshole. It's this huge mural of Trump. It looks awesome. So it's just a photo, realistic picture of Trump? Even better. It's like how he is in people.

minds. They've gotten like, you know, an engram of him on the freeway. Someone made a depiction of Trump made entirely of dick pics. I saw that. You've seen that? Yeah, it's cool. So they're talking about the design of these murals in this book, and they say that totally abstract murals are most often defaced

unless the representation has ethnic significance. So a lot of times these murals that people put up do have some kind of significance to the culture they're in. For this reason, it is probably abstract principles and the way in which they edit pictorial or realistic images that underlie the kind of open-endedness in mural symbolism

that leads to slippages in ethnic identity, degree of breadth, and in intended audience, dimensions within the messaging, and other communicational qualities of... That's just because they can't already deface an ethnic portrayal. Like, what are they going to go draw a mustache on Caesar Chavez? He's already got one. You can't deface it.

No, no, they're saying that these murals represent the ethnicities, the ethnicities in the communities that they're in. So why it's important is to tie it back to the... cave paintings is because cave paintings are, stand as some kind of historical record of the people who put them up. Even insofar as their skin tone or their height or the type of animals they used to hunt or whatever,

modern-day murals are in some way like modern cave paintings, I think. Yeah? Yeah, that's the argument I would make. All right, well, it sounds like murals is more of a solution than a problem. These street art abolitionists, I do hate those guys because I don't understand what, what's so. great about having a boring ass wall?

Like, what's so great about it? Just cover the graffiti up with more graffiti. Who cares? Well, look, if it's the side of your building and it's your business, you have the right to represent it how you want, right? But a lot of times these street artists make these murals in the back alley of these buildings where nobody's going to go back there except garbage men and occasionally kids walking home on their way to school.

What the fuck? Only garbage men. Tim, will you hang out in back alley? Of course you do. I hang on the back man, I do my art there, man. I DJ to nobody sometimes in back alleys. With no equipment as well. Hey man, you don't need equipment.

You need a heart. You need to believe in yourself sometimes. Otherwise, you can't get anywhere in life. I don't believe that you're able to pay tuition. That's what I believe. I don't pay tuition. Okay, of course not. I use someone else's ID to get into school.

What's his name? Carl. You don't look like a Carl, Tim Chang. What is that supposed to mean? That's racist. Okay, what's his last name? Chen. Carl Chan?

That's your friend's name? Carl Chen. I'm Asian, so I got to use it Asian last name. Okay, that's fair. You know what? I thought it was going to be a Carl Johnson or something like that. That's fair. No, I'm not a racist.

Damn, what the fuck? Okay, sorry, Tim Chang. Sorry to offend you. Tim Chains. Tim Chains. Tim Chains. Yeah. If you don't say it right, he's going to keep playing the fucking drop.

Please, no. Okay, I got a comment here. Excuse me. Tim Chains. Is that your problem? Tim Chains. Yeah, hold on. I got one more clip to play. This is from Idaho. So I mentioned at the top, the University of Kentucky and Idaho also are debating this the same exact time. Listen to this. Debate on what to do with two controversial murals depicting the history of Idaho begins tomorrow. The murals are located inside the old Ada County Courthouse in downtown Boise. And some say those paintings are inappropriate and discriminatory against Native America. Americans. While others say they're a part of Idaho history. News Channel 7's Kim Fields. Great. So I looked into... It's just like an extremely racist painting. Yeah, I got it right here. That's from KTVB, actually. So here's, here's, here's what the mural depicts. Says the concern was the daily public display of the murals, one of which depicts white settlers lynching a Native American. Yeah, well, okay. of these on a daily basis does not provide any context and actually goes against our educational

mission of providing a welcoming and inclusive environment for our students and faculty and staff. Yeah, that's not exactly welcoming. No. Is it a big lynch mob? No. In the act of lynching? Yeah, but the- minority?

Yeah, but the debate is, do we then whitewash our history? Because this is a bad part of our history that exists. I don't know if it's whitewashing to just take down. a painting of a murder like greeting you on a building as you enter it. Where was this? In the courthouse. Yeah, in the courthouse. I don't want people going

in and having thoughts of racial discrimination one way or the other crammed into their brains. Like as nuanced as the mind is, like where a refrigerator being open on a TV ad will contribute

to a loss of sales. You know what I'm saying? As fine-tuned as the brain needs to be, I don't want a giant white lynch mob being the last thing that they see before they go decide someone's future. Wait, wait. So you tell me if a Native American was going to that courthouse for trial, that he would feel unwelcome if he saw that mural? I'm saying that anyone going into court, I don't want them thinking that.

You think that a lynch mob might persuade a jury. One way or the other. I think it might be on their mind. Like, could it possibly persuade them to acquit the person? Sure. Yeah. That's part of it. Thank you for being open-minded about it.

What do you mean? What do you mean? No, I'm just joking. Oh, yeah. It's ridiculous. Yeah, no, I totally agree with you. I don't think that's street art, though. I said, I mean, that's like artistic censorship.

Yeah, but these murals aren't just put in buildings. They're sometimes done on the side of buildings on the outside, in public, where people can see them and over time they stand as historical representations of our culture. That's why social anthropologists look at these murals and for the significance that they have for the culture that we live in. All right. Yeah. Anyway, that's my problem.

Street art abolitionists and when they cover it up, they just covered up with paint poorly. A lot of times they won't even cover the whole thing in the same coat of paint. So there'll be just these patches of different colors. Oh, buddy. No, here's where it works for you. Here's two examples. Number one, have you heard of wanksy? The guy who draws dicks on potholes.

Sounds hilarious. So the pothole situation is so bad you can't get anybody out to fix your pothole. He would go spray paint a cock around the pothole so the city would have, they have to come fix that. Yeah. Everybody's complaining about it. Oh, that's great. And in order to fix it, they have to fix the pothole. That's brilliant.

So this guy just goes around drawing, yeah, it's brilliant. I'm thinking of doing it in Hollywood. Have you guys heard of Changstie? No, who's Chankstey? It's me. Tim Chang's. All right, look, I do graffiti. So I know what you guys are talking about.

Okay. All right. I've done it. All over Venice Beach. What do I do? What do you do? I draw a red question mark over everything. Because I'm like the riddler.

You know what I mean? From the Batman. Yeah, we know where the riddler is. One time though, I did it. Wait, why is it red? The ridler was green. Yeah, that's the ridler. I'm Changstie.

Changstey. Okay. I like red. So you do these question marks over everything And what's the social message here? Like question, question everything. Why, Tammy? Why, Tammy?

Why'd you kick me out of community college? Why'd you kick me out of community college? Dumber, dumber than I thought it would be. It's not dumb. Tammy, if you're listening right now. No, she's not. I love you. She's not listening.

Tammy's not listening to this show. Here's my problem. Tim Chang's. Okay. Beo, beer, beer, beer, beer. It's not even the horn. That's not a horn sound effect. Here's my problem.

So it's my mom's birthday when this episode drops. Oh, happy birthday. Yeah. So I said, look. Mrs. Masterson. Yeah. You got one chance. You can give me a problem.

Give me a problem for the show. As soon as I tell her, everybody in the background, do this, do this, do this. She's like, hmm, it's very sweet lady, right? This is her problem. Backseat drivers. Okay. Right? Yeah.

Total nightmare. They'll ruin your fuck. Where do they get off? Where do these people get off? You're giving, you are donating your time and energy to driving these people around. And they will not shut up and leave you alone. Oh, buddy, you're looking at the biggest backseat driver. The biggest backseat driver in the universe, yeah.

Maddox, I got to tell you, when you backseat drive, not only do I want to go slower out of spite, I want to steer my car into a fucking concrete embankment. It drives me so insane. Yeah, it's great. Backseat driving. I'm the best backseat driver. I'm so great. Okay, what do you got?

So she drives my dad around all. This is another one of those instances where hopefully someone listening to the show will change their behavior. Because I passive aggressively bring in this as an issue on the show. Okay. She drives my dad around everywhere. Yeah. Because my dad will try to get out of driving at all costs. Right.

Like he'll negotiate if you're going to meet somewhere. He's like, let's meet in the middle. Let's meet 60% closer to me. Let's meet down the street. What do you say you pick me up? Okay. Yeah, that's how it goes. So he gets driven around everywhere.

Won't stop backseat driving the whole time. This is what Wikipedia says at backseat. I like your dad. Yeah. Oh, you would love it. You guys should both be backseat drivers together. Tag team. This is what Wikipedia says.

A backseat driver is an asshole most commonly found in the passenger seat of a vehicle who can't control their thoughts and impulses from escaping their mouths like a kind of verbal diarrhea. Like a two-year-old. It doesn't say that on Wikipedia. It doesn't say that. They make excessive comments on the driver's actions and decisions in an attempt to control the vehicle. To safely get...

And they can suck my cock. That's what Wikipedia is. You know, sometimes backseat drivers do that because the actual driver is driving too fucking slow and it's too much of a big pussy to honk their horn when some dipshit is clearly texting in front of them because we don't have some place to be apparently and commerce has to come to a grinding halt

because this shithead has to send off a tax. That's a backseat driver. Saving lives. You want to know something interesting? How about this? One in seven motorists report having a road accident or a near miss caused by the distraction of a backseat driver.

Distraction? One in seven. No, this is specifically backseat driving. This is not just distracting. This is somebody driving you so insane because they want to shave a couple seconds because they're a deranged person who wants to feel important.

Like they know, they know, they're like these Sandy Hook guys, they know the secret to getting somewhere on time. They've got secret information on the map. They can't wait, they can't be delayed, and they're important lives by 10 minutes, by two minutes, by seven seconds.

They sit there going, me, me, me, me, telling you how to drive. They're causing, they're causing, let's see, what's one seventh of accidents? There's 1.3 million deaths. from car accidents every year, one-seventh of that. So, like, 13, 12%, something like that. Yeah, 180,000.

180,000 deaths these people are causing. No, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, in the U.S.? Oh, that's worldwide. Okay, worldwide, maybe. Worldwide. But, but, that doesn't sound, they didn't go to Africa and, and, uh, survey these people on backseat driving. And by the way, by the way, backseat running in Africa.

Okay. Guy runs behind you. You're running to, you're running to, you're running to, you're running. Running too slow. Run in the left lane. Akimbo. Get your knees up. You're going to get winded.

Have a drink. You're getting dehydrated. That's what it's like. Dealing with fucking backseat drivers. Dick, look, they cause some accidents. You got to break some eggs. Look, no pain, no gain. I have never died driving lift.

Do you get backseat drivers and lift? Every time. Every time. It doesn't bother me. Well, that's your job. I'm a great lift driver. Yeah. So please use the promo code T-C-L-F-E-F

YT 30. You get $5 off your next lift. And I get credit for that. Yeah, okay. Tim, we're going to cut that ad out of this. Lyft is not a sponsor for this episode. Let's see. You're 60% more likely to have a serious crash.

Let me get some good stats here. Gotta break some eggs, buddy. I don't know what to tell you, man. No pain, no gain. If you want to get where you're going fast, you get me as your passenger, and I'll tell you how to drive. Look, if you want to get,

if you want to make someone a road rage, tell them how to drive. That's how you get someone real pissed off. 51% of people reported getting angry behind the wheel purely as a result of backseat drivers. 40% reported being made anxious. You're making the problem worse. They already drove cautiously.

Now you're freaking them out. Sounds like the problem here is drivers who have anger management issues, right? Drivers who are easily distracted. If you are so distracted by a passenger, who, out of the goodness of his heart, just wants to help you not drive like a grandma. Yeah.

Then maybe you should turn off. I never get it, because everyone knows I'm driving the most efficiently as possible. The most efficient way is possible. I'm cutting people off left and right, driving like a samurai through traffic. Like a hot knife through butter. That's what I am in traffic.

Partners are the worst. Hell yeah. I'm a samurai too. Not because I'm Asian. I'm like a samurai though. Yeah. Also when I drive live. use my promo code.

So you drive like a samurai as well? Yeah. I have a sword. You drive with a sword. Oh, you actually have a sword. This is not even a metaphor. You just have a sword in your car. I literally have a sword in my car.

In case he's always dumber than I thought. In case anyone tries to attack me. You have a sword? Yeah, in my trunk. Okay. Is a samurai sword. Are you trained in sword play? 17th century Kyoto

weapon. Is that the only town in Japan that you know? Kyoto? Tokyo Kiyoto, Tokyo Yeah Nagasaki Hiroshima

Yeah, there you go There you're thinking Hiroshima Name two more Japanese cities Sushi Sushi man

Sashimi is not a city Ashini is that way of a city No Partners came out on top Worth was the worst Backseat drivers Then mother 27% of people

reported partners Then mothers at 17% Fathers at 14% Children at 14% I don't know what children are getting in on this game Children backseat drivers You know you're a shitty driver When your kids telling you to hurry the fuck up

Dick Do you have any stories of you and I Where I was a backseat driver You're always a backseat driver It's a fucking nightmare I don't know why it's so important That everyone drive That I drive efficiently when you're in the car

Because I'm your passenger And you should respect my time and get me where I'm going as fast as possible, even though you're driving and doing me a favor. No, it's the psychology of it. There's something wrong with backseat driver's brains. What? There's something.

I brought in a bunch of like actual psychologists weighing in on this topic too. Oh, let's hear these assholes. This is what you're saying when you're a backseat driver. I don't trust you to handle this on your own. It's like, oh, this is ding? Ding, correct, yes, absolutely. I agree with that 100%. It's driving.

How do you not trust someone to handle it on their own? They're shitty drivers. I have friends who've gotten in tons of wrecks, rain slick dick, and I don't necessarily trust that you know exactly what you're doing. Because sometimes I'll point out something. I've prevented accidents by being a backseat driver. Because I see my friends fucking up like, hey man, there's a car right fucking there. Why don't you swerve or hit on your brakes or honk or something?

No, they just, um, you know, I'll just slow down a little bit. And I'm like, well, they're not going to stop. You got to honk. Yeah. Psychologist Ryan Howes says they offer unsolicist. advice in an attempt to combat their own feelings of powerlessness. Like the realization that they cannot. Yeah.

See, it's a deep psychological dysfunction that you people have. That you're trying to get, that you're trying to work out on us. It's not dysfunction. It's like an addiction. He just enumerated the exact phenomenon that's going on. That's not dysfunction. He's just stating what it is. Okay.

I agree with it. Here's a good one. another psychologist conducted a study in which subjects were told that a sample of their blood would be taken, they could prick their own finger or have an experienced technician do it. People who fit,

this is, okay, prick your own finger, or we're going to have a phlebologist, or whatever they're called. We're going to have a professional do it for you. People who fit the profile of a backseat driver did it themselves, because they're fucking stupid. Okay, see, that's where I disagree. I would always... You would prick your own finger, according to this study.

No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't prick my own finger. They just, they can't give it up. They can't give up that control, these backseat drivers. It's not about, it's not always about control, man. I know when to rest control and when to give it up and when to, you know, sit back and relax. Here's the thing. If I'm driving, I have certain friends who are such poor drivers.

I literally have to pull my cell phone out of my pocket and tune out of what's going on. Figuratively. Yeah. Yeah. I need a tune out of what's going on so that I don't lose my fucking mind. And you need, you need,

like, a pacifier to distract yourself because you have these, these deep psychological problems that these, that these learned people are describing. It's not that, dick. It's like,

it's all, I have the exact same problem with drivers who are slow when I'm the passenger as I do, watching someone else compute. It drives me out of my fucking mind. Yes, this is a defect with you.

No. That's what these people are, I understand what they're saying. They're just stating what it is. They're not stating what the psychological phenomenon is that is the dysfunction, supposedly alleged dysfunction. But here's the problem, Dick. When I see someone reach over for their mouse, I start to get anxiety because I know what I'm in store for is one to three seconds of them slowly dragging that fucking cursor across their desktop. Not a big deal.

And then hunting for that little X to. click. Oh. And then they start doing that little circle with their hand, you know, the little circle where they're, where it's essentially like a binary search for that X. Getting comfortable. Getting comfortable. Yeah, getting comfortable.

Where is that cursor again? Uh, and they look around on the screen and, oh, there it is. Okay, I see the cursor now. And then they slowly drag it across their desktop and like, oh, my God, when is this going to end? And then they reach the X. They overshoot it a little bit by a few pixels. And then they move back a little bit more.

And then they finally click it. I'm like, oh, thank God. You did that one fucking. task and it took five seconds of your fucking life. This is how you want to live your life like an asshole, clicking X's all the time with your mouse. Hit Control W, shithead. Or alt F4.

Or Shift Space C. Damn, chill out, dog. Fuck, man. Shut the fuck, man. You're a mouse user. You're a mouse user. Bro. You're my fucking asshole. Psychologist Stephen Rice says

the backseat driver is an individual who has a strong need to feel influence, and they're always looking for ways to express that need. It's not that addiction. Bro. It's not that. You know what? Here's what another guy says. What? What? What? I was going to give another computer. No, this is not a computer story. I was in a Lyft one time, and the driver was driving like a fucking badass. He was like me, U-turns and shifting into high gear every time and slamming his brakes. I'm like, dude, you're driving like a badass. Yeah. And I gave him a $3 tip on a $6.00. dollar ride because he kicked ass at driving.

Okay. Yeah. So sometimes when I see someone driving like a badass, I acknowledge it, and I don't backseat drive. I backseat compliment. Yeah, this is part of the dysfunction. Nope. The celebration of aggressive poor driving.

Nah. Where does a meddler's deep-seated desire for control come from? That's what these psychologists, these learned men, multiple learned men are just saying, if you grew up in an environment that was chaotic, it's almost a defensive sort of reaction. Burger says. We've seen this in homes where a parent has an alcohol problem. For example,

those children tend to develop a need to control for themselves. Huh. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Or a traumatizing life event. I definitely grew up in a chaotic lifestyle. But Dick, it's not just...

You know, this is something that I do. Again, to save lives. Yeah. And to get to our destination quicker. Costing people. One in seven people reported getting in a wreck because of a backseat driver.

No pain, no gain. What can I say? All right, I got one more thing. Here was an example from Wikipedia about backseat driving. You know me to read this? This is a very small article on Wikipedia. This was the example they gave a backseat driving.

This is totally real. A couple of episodes in Power Rangers Zio shows examples of backseat drivers with Rita Repulsa and Goldar in the motorhome base they showed. share with Lord Zed, Finster, and Rito. This is Wikipedia. I believe this.

You know, the company that's asking for donations to keep their top quality research accessible at all times, fucking example of back. On their way back to the palace, Rita's constant demanding lands the base a flat tire, which she and Zed blame on each other. Uh-huh. After getting the tire fixed and back driving, Goldar shows up. Do you know who these people are? With the map that Zed needs and unintentionally proceeds.

to be another backseat driver by overly trying to help them with the map that lands the motorhome base with yet another flat tire. Surely Rita and Zed blame him for the mess. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, there you go, Dick. There you go. That's a perfect example. That's the quality of people who have problems with backseat drivers.

Dick, you and I have been driving before where I'll see someone do something insane in front of you. and I look over to you and you're like Oh, chill, just chill dick Yeah, sitting in my car doesn't bother me Doesn't bother me I'll get there when I get there, I guess And I, it drives me nuts and I reach over there. I don't know why.

Hit your horn! I honk your fucking horn! You deserve the death penalty for that. That's fucking awesome. And then I did it to another friend I was in his car one time and this person in front of me swear to God 15 seconds sitting there

And I'm sitting there sweating bullets at this point Because I'm looking at now. You're sweating right now, man. You're sitting there, and I'm looking at him, and I look at his face, and I look at the horn, and I look at his face, and I look at the horn, you know, like you do. Yeah. Like, hey, bro, hit the fucking horn, and let's get this train going, huh? And he, nothing.

And finally, I lose my mind. I roll down my window. I honk his fucking horn, and I yell out and shake my fists at the driver from the passenger side. I'm like, hurry the fuck up. And I get, and I sit back down in the car, and he looks at me, and I look at him, and I honk his horn. some more until this lazy, slack-eyed idiot starts to drive. What's the wrong with people?

You got a good look at his face. Was he clean-shaven? Because if he wasn't, he should pick up some Harry's Razors. Today's show is brought to you by Harry's. Please visit Harries.com and use the promo code biggest problem to save $5 off your first purchase. It's a new year. It's a new year and it's time for a fresh start. I'm having a fresh start. I'm clean shaven. I am hungover, so I fucked that up a little bit, but it's still a new year.

It's time to stop. It's time to stop. overpaying for a great shave. Yeah. Yeah. They're German engineered blades. Five blade cartridges. Oh my God, that's a deal. Close.

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I can't think of one place. Now where else. No, where else. DJ Tim Chang's services. Oh, really? Full refund if you're not satisfied with my services. Can we get a refund for? this episode?

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Tim, do you shave? I don't shave. Yeah? I like to keep my hair around makes me remember things. You know, every hair is a piece of history. Yeah.

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It really helps out. Dick, I got a real big problem. Okay. I know. More clear on this one, I hope. More clear. All right. Sure.

Sure. But I got a big one. I recently released another video about how Disney ruined the Little Mermaid. Okay. It's doing really well on YouTube, sending the internet on fire. As they do.

Yeah. So I want to bring in Disney to expound on that point a little bit. Disney's my problem. And they ruined Little Mermaid because they made it, like, nice. They gave it a nice ending. They shat all over the original story. Okay. Right.

I had an argument with a mutual friend of ours a long time ago. and he was talking about how much he liked The Little Mermaid. And I said, What the hell kind of conversation was this? Guys talking about how much he loves the Little Mermaid. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the Disney version of Little Mermaid. All right. And he was saying that he really liked The Little Mermaid

because it was a good story and this and that. And I told him, I said, do you know the original story of The Little Mermaid? and he said, yeah, and I said, okay, well, the original story has an ending that's really tragic. The mermaid dies at the end of the little mermaid. The original Hans Christian Anderson, yeah, she turns into foam. That's the story, she turns into foam and gets a soul and goes up to heaven. It's kind of like a... Almost a better ending.

We had a fling turns into... I wish all romances ended like that. Bitch just turned into foam. I went to go check on her in the shower. She turned into a bunch of foam. Hey, what are you going to do? All my romantic encounters end in foam. If you know what I'm talking about, Tim, you know.

What do you mean? Of course, thank you, Tim Ching. Tim Chains. Tim Chains. Tim Chains, yeah. Never mind. I won't explain that. Oh, I get it.

It's like two chains. Yeah. Okay. Good job, Dick. I get it. I get it now. Yeah. Great.

Okay. A little clever. Yeah, anyway, all my romantic encounters in and foam. So the original Hans, Christian Anderson's story has the Little Mermaid. Essentially, she has to, she makes the wager with the evil queen. Ursula. Ursula.

No, it's not Ursula. That's the Disney version. Yeah, based on Divine, the, uh, the, uh, transsexual. I don't know if she's transsexual so much as, uh, she's just a, um, drag. She's a drag queen, yeah. Okay. Yeah, drag queens are not necessarily transsexual. So it's based on, based on divine.

All right. Yeah. Um, the original story, how to make the way. where she would come to land, she would lose her voice, and then she had to marry the king, the prince. Otherwise, the day after the prince married someone else, she would die. So she made that wager, she went up to land, and the prince mistakenly believes that another woman saves his life.

Because after she spent all night with him, saving him, you know, nursing him back to health on the beach. Yeah? Yeah? Which, by the way, in both of these movies, you know, if you did the gender reversal between, you know, making a merman and a woman on the beach, and the man was kind of like gently caressing her face and, you know, kisses her while she's coming awake. That's sexual assault. Oh, get out of here. Yeah. Oh, stop, that sexual assault. You're not going to hear that from the Femmosphere.

You're not going to. You need to go read a romance novel. Man, there's a lot of assault happening in those romance novels. I will not. It's an assault amageddon. They love that shit. Come on. What?

The men? No, women. Women, that's very romantic. Come on. A beautiful, scaly merman. Slimy merman. Getting his slimes all over you. That's right.

Yeah. Tim Chains knows what I'm talking about. Tim Chains is on your side. You lose this argument. Caressing your face, sticking his finger in your mouth and your ear and stuff. Yum, yum, yum. Yum.

That's a sashimi. I want to get a hold of, right, Tim Chains? Hey, how old is a little? Little mermaid. Too young, Tim Chains. Don't worry about it. Yeah. All right, Tim.

I'm kidding. I don't do that shit. All right. So the original story has this happened, right? And when the mermaid is bringing him back to health, right? She hears some women coming down from a temple up the hill. And then she runs off and hides. She swims off, rather.

And when the prince comes to, he sees this other woman nursing him to health. and he thinks that she is the one responsible for saving his life. Logical. So, so he marries this other woman. And the mermaid is distraught, and then she has one chance to save her life. Her sisters sacrifice their hair for her, gives it to the evil queen,

and then they give her a magical dagger that if she kills the prince and then sprays her feet with blood, because the original story also had it so that it felt like she was walking on, knives the entire time. Okay. Yeah. Which doesn't really add anything to the lesson.

This isn't a movie that I want to see. Well, it's... I've got to be honest with you. Well, have you seen the original 1975 version? No. It's a really... It's a really well-done story.

And the story is so much more powerful than Disney's slap dick ending, where instead of having the princess sacrifice herself, because she realizes it's not my... It's not the prince's fault. It's my fault for trying to change who I am for another person.

That's the message here. Don't change who you are for another person. No, you should, though. No. Because you suck. Like everybody, everybody, not you personally. No, no, I know what you're saying. I know what you're saying.

Change. Get better. Look, I've said that before, and I believe it, you should improve yourself. But you shouldn't change who you are. Like, if you are black and you want to attract a white person, you shouldn't dye your skin to become another race. That's essentially what happened to the little mermaid. She's a mermaid.

And she tries to become a human. She's sacrificing her species for another man. Yeah, you're basically saying under the sea it's better down where it's wetter. Right? That's exactly what you're saying. Essentially, up on the land, they work all day. Yeah. Under their slaving away.

Yeah, life is better. Down here they're floating. Up there they're boating. Yeah. There's just what you're saying, essentially. That's what I'm saying, Dick. Don't change. No, I'm not saying that.

I'm saying don't change something. She changed something fundamental about herself. Yeah. You know, she changed. It would be like changing your gender for another person. Oh. Yeah. And she'd have to be really hard.

Mm-hmm. So is your problem with a little mermaid? No, my problem, again, Dick, is Disney. I didn't know. You said that. Disney. Disney's my problem. Okay. Disney's my problem, and it's because they whitewash these children's stories.

The important lesson that you learn is that sometimes you don't always get what you want. You don't always get who you want. And just because you sacrifice a lot for that person doesn't mean they're going to like you back. And doesn't mean that you're always going to be their first choice. Yeah. That's an important lesson that only exists in this one children's story that's been completely whitewashed from history. And I did a little research and I found before 1989's Disney version, almost every animated version of the, of the story had the same exact Hans Christian Anderson ending.

And after 1989, almost every single version has had the Disney ending, or some variant of thereof. Yeah, that's like depressing, though, man. It doesn't matter if it's depressing. You learn an important lesson. I don't know if that's true. You learn that lesson? Yeah, that's what I learned when I was a kid. From that story?

Yeah, it stuck with me. What, you decided not to change, and was that the lesson that you learned? No, the lesson is. that sometimes just because you like someone and you make sacrifices for them, they might not like you back. That's an important lesson that is completely lost in modern children's literature. If everything in children's literature, the only thing the Disney version teaches kids is entitlement. You get what you want.

Everything has a happy ending. There are no life lessons in it. Well, wait a minute. What about Aladdin? Because Aladdin tried to act like something he was not, and Jasmine was not into that. He had to go back to being Aladdin before she was into him. So that's a pretty good lesson, right? Aladdin had to be himself.

I don't know. I haven't seen Aladdin in a long time. I'd have to go back and look at that. I made some sacrifices back in my day, guys. Oh, yeah. What did you sacrifice, Tim? Look. Tim Chains.

Whatever woman wanted you to give up the DJ game, would you do it? No, man. I didn't do that. But look, Tammy Trujillo. Tammy Trujillo. I loved her. All right? I loved her.

I, I love her so. Accent is all over the place. All right. I loved her so much that I sacrificed my virginity. I was planning on fucking when I got married. You were? Why?

Christianity, homie. Jesus, one love. Correct, Tim Chains. I agree with that. Christianity. Christianity, homie is the correct answer. Thank you so much, Madoff. It's a Maddox.

Same difference, man. Oxymoron. It's not oxymoron. All right. Yeah, I don't know, man. So Disney's done this with so many different stories throughout history. Hans Christian Anderson stories. Even Frozen is based on a Hans Christian Anderson story.

Oh, God, I hated that movie. The Ice Queen. Yeah. Yeah. Disney does this. They just take, and it here's, thing. If Disney was trying to supplant this story with this message

with another message, right? They, I would understand that, but they are just taking Little Mermaid and trying to make it as mass appeal and commercial as possible. Yeah. That's all they're doing. Yeah. Their only motive here is profit. They don't give a shit whether or not anyone learns anything.

I don't know. That's a little bit cynical. Disney's only motive is profit. What else is there? No, no. They make good movies. I'm not saying... I think they put a lot of heart in like Toy Story 3, and I don't think their only motive is profit. Look, man, I'm not saying Disney doesn't make good movies. If Disney makes good movies or not, is irrelevant as to whether or not those movies have messages.

And a lot of people like the original Little Merit. The Disney version of Little Mermaid. I'm not saying it's not an entertaining movie. People are entertained by it. Okay. People like the stupid songs in it. Stupid songs. They're stupid songs.

Under the Sea. Man, I'm about to go pee. Yeah, DJ Tim Chang. Hit that shit. So you would prefer it if they kept the original message, Disney? Yeah. Big animated splendor, multi-million dollar budget, and Ariel just burst into foam after walking on knives for the whole movie?

Well, the knives part, a lot of the animated versions, including the one that I am championing here is the 1975 version. A lot of them don't have the walking on knives part. And I thought about it, and I thought, well, the original one that I'm championing didn't have that. diverged from the cons Christian Anderson tale as well. However, that doesn't change anything. That doesn't change the message. By not having that in there, it doesn't change the message

because she still sacrificed something, and she didn't get what she wanted because she sacrificed. So you can still have that same tragic ending. I mean, where do you draw the line at some point? Do you rewrite Romeo and Juliet to have it a happy ending? Oh, they wake up together and they live happily ever after. Sure. You rewrite the hunchback of Notre Dame, which, again, a hunchback.

How did they change that? I'd have to look into all the details, but they, most of the, most Disney fairy tales are based on past properties. And they whitewash them, they make them palatable for consumers, mass appeals possible. Yeah. Completely eliminating the message. And here's something else I learned. This is from, you know, the show Adam ruins everything? Adam caught over?

I have not watched it. actually a few people on Twitter have mentioned that we have both covered a lot of the same topics and and I don't know it's it's it's pretty fascinating because we we kind of like look at the same things to kind of tackle these like these social phenomenon but he talked about how Disney has ruined copyright law in the United States there you go that's true yeah they keep extending it Right? To keep their precious Mickey. Right. So under U.S. copyright law, I think it's what, 70 years?

Yeah. After 70 years, your claim to a copyright expires, and that copyright property goes into public domain. And without that, we lose out on a lot of art and history because, like, for example, Hans Christian Anderson's tales, which Disney relies heavily upon to build their empire. Without Hans Christian Anderson's stories being in public domain, Disney wouldn't even have the opportunity to make the Little Mermaid. Or a steamboat, what's the original Mickey Mouse cartoon? Steamboat, Pines. Steamboat Willie, I think, right?

Steamboat Willie? Yeah. I get the joke. Good job, yeah. Steamboat Willie. Yeah. Tim Chains. No, Tim Chains.

That wasn't your joke, Tim. That wasn't yours, Tim. That was my joke now, copyright, 2016. So would you be okay, Tim, would you be okay with in 70 years, your likeness becoming public domain? Man, that's like, man, that's like the greatest way that, like, you know, pay tribute to someone is someone trying to be like me. Oh, okay. So you think you'd just shoot it out of a cannon. Yeah, man.

Playboy Bunny. I shoot out of a cannon. Okay. My dick. Okay. How about you? 70 years? You okay with people making knockoff Maddoch?

Yeah, I think so. Because if you have a lifetime, essentially, I think they chose 70 years because it's, It's a lifetime for somebody to capitalize on their work and to make as much money as they can during their lifetime. And then afterwards, that property becomes public domain. Imagine a song from the 30s, the 1930s. Essentially, all those songs from the 1930s should be public domain because most of those people and their children have long since passed on,

and that art shouldn't be locked up forever. Because, again, when you free... these things open to public domain, you have companies like Disney that come along and can use those stories and other people can use those stories to make their own empires and make many more jobs. Well, ruining them, yeah, they, in this case, they clearly did. But Disney's so hypocritical in their stance on copyright because they keep extending the public domain date. I think right now set to 2026 or something like that, 2019. So it's not just affecting Disney.

It's affecting everything else that came out after Mickey Mouse. Yeah, I don't have a big problem with that. Why not? You and I just disagree on that. Well, you wrote the song, you drew the mouse. Like, why does everyone deserve to have it? Fight tooth and nail to keep it.

Your kids, your kids, kids, they should all fight tooth and nail. So you're-ended as long as possible. So you're completely dismissing the argument that Disney wouldn't even exist today as it is. You know, the Little Mermaid saved Disney's company? They were going bankrupt. Oh, yeah?

And the Little Mermaid, based on public domain, saved that company. So to suggest... I don't think Disney has a problem with ripping off regular copyrighted properties, though. I don't think a copyright would prevent them from making Little Mermaid. Like, was Hans Christian Yenerson going to sue? Disney? Oh, good luck. No, but that's irrelevant.

Whether or not they rip off other copyrighted works is irrelevant. We're talking about specifically public domain. And the only reason is because Disney, look, Disney hasn't created anything new since Mickey Mouse. And they're not even doing anything with Mickey Mouse. Every now and then a new game, a video game comes out or something. When's the last time you saw a Mickey Mouse cartoon?

Oh, the last time I saw, I don't know, saw yesterday. Yeah. No, you didn't. Tim, Tim, Tim Chains? There's constant new Mickey stuff. There's new Mickey shows. Like, Mickey's Clubhouse? All those motherfuckers are around. I mean, that's a branded Disney.

There was a Disney cartoon, a Mickey's Mouse cartoon that came out a while back. Disney's afraid... No, there's tons of new Mickey stuff going on. Like, there's... For kids, it's like a machine. Not movies. Oh, movies.

Yeah, I guess not. I'm sure there is. I'm not up on all the little kids stuff. I mean, there's tons of them. If Disney, I have a theory. Cars was... All the Pixar stuff's new. That's not Mickey Mouse.

No, but you said when's the last time they did something new? Mickey... That's Pixar. Pixar created that. That's not Disney. It's not Disney. Disney can come

acquire all these things, right? They're not creating anything new with Mickey Mouse. They're not creating any new movies. And I think it's because they're afraid of making a flop and hurting the company's brand and hurting the company's image. You mean like a Blockbuster Mickey movie?

Yeah. Like something on par with Little Mermaid. I don't know if they ever did that with Mickey. Yeah, of course they did. There were lots of old Disney Mickey Mouse movies. Fantasia? They made a new Fantasia 2000 with Donald Duck.

Did they? Well, Donald Duck, but with Mickey was only been in shorts. No, Fantasia was a full movie. No, but Mickey was only in one of the interludes. The Sorcerer's Apprentice? That's only one song. Well, how many movies has he appeared in since? I don't think Mickey was used like that.

I think he was like a short. He was used like Steamboat Willie style, or it's a short before a bigger movie. Well, he was the star. He was the star of a lot of their cartoons. Originally, a lot of their cartoons. Sure, he still is. I haven't seen a Disney.

I haven't seen a Mickey Mouse cartoon a long time. I don't have kids, man. Those kids love the Mickey's Clubhouse shit. Not Mickey's Clubhouse is not animated. Yeah, it is. What do you think is live action? Are you talking about the old, the one with like Britney Spears is the star? Do they read, every single generation of kids has a Mickey's Clubhouse?

Like you don't know about it, but it's different for everyone. Maybe you're right. Maybe you're right about that. I don't know. But regardless, the public domain argument, right? They have locked up all these properties in public domain. If they were just doing it with their own company, that's a different case. If you want to make that argument, maybe there's a case for that.

But they are changing all law, all copyright law, in the United States for everything, regardless of whether or not people are alive or care about their properties or want these things to be in public domain. Regardless of that. Yeah, I don't mind that. I don't know why you have a problem with that. Again, because Disney's hypocritical and they have used public—if they don't have a problem. with public domain being basically evaporated, if they don't have a problem with that,

then they should stop using public domain properties for their advantage. Well, it's hypocritical. Okay. Furthermore, Disney has now bought up Marvel. They have acquired Pixar. I think they actually, is Pixar still part of Disney? Yeah. Yeah, Pixar's part of Disney.

Marvel's part of Disney. Plus all the original Disney properties. Star Wars. Star Wars, they picked up Star Wars. So if you go to a toy aisle or if you go to a comic book store, anywhere from 70 to 80% of the IP you see in there is owned by one company. And when you see what Disney has done to The Little Mermaid by abolishing these stories because they might be uncomfortable for children. And they have that same philosophy with everything else across the board. Maybe Wolverine stops killing people.

Maybe Wolverine starts getting tame in Marvel Comics. maybe Star Wars becomes a little bit more whitewashed. Over time, this aggregate influence one company has on all of our culture can be incredibly damaging and limiting to our culture. That's a real problem I have with Disney. They have way too much of a monopoly on our entertainment. Way too much. And nobody's looking at this.

We're only looking at monopolies when it comes to software, to cars, to railroads, and things like that. But when it comes to entertainment, everyone turns a blind eye to Disney. This one company... Well, they turn their open eyes to Disney. because they love this shit. I'm talking about looking at them critically. Yeah. I mean, people are consuming these Disney products,

but at what cost? Because our culture is becoming dumber, I think, because of companies like Disney, because they have a monopoly on everything. They are the filtered that we get all our messages from. All our kids are learning their important life lessons from one company. I don't know, man.

I see a lot of property coming through with the kids. You know, I get nephews, so I see all their little trends that they go through. It's not all Disney. They get some weird stuff. They got dinosaurs that are also cars. My nephew's got a toy of a dump truck that's a stegosaurus, and you pull on the tail and it shits out a trash can.

Like projectile pooping. Yeah. That's an important lesson. That's not whitewashed. They're into weird things. Yo, Maeda, let me ask you a question. Is that cool? Maddox is the name.

Let me just ask you for real question, all right? Look, if Disney, if Disney, if Disney, Disney asks you... Axe, you think? Disney asks you to play Beast and Beauty and the Beast. Yeah.

Would you say yes? No, I don't. What are you talking about? The play? The play? No, man, the cartoon. If they asked you to play Beast from the cartoon. Yeah. Would you say yes?

And they paid you a lot of money. Yeah, of course, yeah. So you're a fucking hypocrite then. No, I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. Surprisingly, Caution argument. Yeah.

Because I'm a subversive motherfucker and you get me in there and I'll put in some messages. I'll get, I'll put up a stink and change the script and I'll put in some fucking messages in that story, buddy. Like, you don't want... Dix in the cartoon? No, that's what they do in the Little Mermaid.

There's dicks on the box. There's dicks in the... Actually, that's pretty funny. That's a sign... That's a sign. That's a sign... Yeah, I agree. That's a sign of artistic descent. He drew that dick on the cover of The Little Mermaid, and then Disney backtrack, like, oh, it wasn't a dick. And they whitewashed their own cover. Like, guys, it's part of, I can say.

There's a giant dick on a cover. Yeah, but the little kids don't know what that is. They're just looking at that, and it's like a giant shiny dong. And the only way you're going to know what it is is if you know what a dick looks like. Kids don't know that. Half of them do. The boys. Don't worry about it, man.

It's fun. It was hilarious. Artistic descent is great. Of course, I would always, I am, I'm a, I'm a stealth. operative buddy that's why I would you do what's like an example of the stealthful dissent the artistic dissent you would do is well in the cartoon I'll give you an I don't know I'm not in that position but I'll give you an example of how I did you know for fun I'll give you an example of how I did dissent in at my one of my old jobs at the telemarketing I worked for a telemarketing company

and when Congress passed this law that was the do not call act I think that's what it was called where tell marketers could not actively call people who didn't opt in or work with another company. So it basically eliminated outbound telemarketing costs. Great, right? So there was this petition that started going around in telemarketing circles. And it was all the telemarketers and their managers and supervisors and people who worked at these companies signing a petition to send to Congress to abolish this law.

They say it's going to hurt our business, et cetera, et cetera. When it came to me, I not only didn't sign it, I removed names from that list before I passed it on. that's how I work. All right. Because I knew the industry I worked in was shitty, and I would forego my job just to see the shitty industry crumble. That's how I felt. Oh, you were hoping it would crumble.

Absolutely. Okay. I knew it was my way of paying for my website and going to college, but I knew it was a shitty industry. So that's how I worked. Does that answer your question, Tim Chains? No, man. No, I didn't answer my question either.

What? What was your question then? No, no. You didn't answer the question. How would you do it in Beauty and the Beast? I don't know, man. I'd have to think about it. Put me on the spot here.

I don't know. All right. Yeah. How would you do it? I would whisper things like, I love Gaston. Yeah. See if they could sneak it in there.

I would be like, yo, what a beauty. You should hide me for your DJs. DJ services, man. It's pretty subversive. DJ, what's your name? Tammy, Tammy. Tammy Trujillo. Tammy Trujillo.

You got stuff about like slave labor or anything like that for Disney? Any kind of unethical business practices they're engaged in? Oh my God, the biggest problem with Disney, every chick has to go to Disneyland. Right? How many? Then you're slapping down a hundred, $200 just to get in the door. Just to get in the fucking door.

Then they run up with those cameras. Click, click, click, click, click. Yeah. You got to remember this beautiful highway robbery. You got to remember this stick up, this romantic stick up where this chick's sticking you for $200. Yeah. I don't go to Disneyland. So I remember Dick, a long time ago, I went to Disneyland with a friend who wanted to get her name on a hat.

And when I told them her name, they wouldn't believe me that that was the real name. And, you know, because let's say I gave them the name Dick, right? And I wanted Dick on a hat. Who doesn't? Yeah. Yeah. They won't put that on a hat unless you show them a valid form of ID. Oh, really?

Yeah. And my friend said, well, I don't have it with me because it's. My only ID is a passport, and I'm not going to bring it to Disneyland where it could get lost or stolen or wet or torn. I'm not, that's insane. And Dick is a valid name. If you want to put Dick on a hat, you should be able to put it. Dick is a name for Richard. And they said, well, we don't do nicknames.

Now I want to print out a fake ID that says like ugly motherfucker. Like, here, put this on a mouse hat. Here's my ID, you bitch. They'll still probably tell you know. I got the ID. Yeah. Send me to Disneyland jail. there was a huge stink that happened

and all these spectators, the customers coming into the Disneyland store, were arguing on our behalf because the... And by the way, the name Dick is common and they said, well, we don't do nicknames. I said, well, if I came in and I asked for Bob, would you do that on a hat?

Do nicknames? Yeah, they said, yeah, we'd do Bob. I'm like, well, Bob's a nickname for Robert. So you do do some nicknames. Yeah. Anyway, we argued with these people for about 45 minutes, way past closing time at the store. and eventually they relented and they said, okay, we'll do it.

And I said, we don't want it. And we walked out. They got paid for that encounter. Bingo. No, they just had to stay later. All right. Is that your problem? That's my problem.

Disney. One company has way too much power over our, they have way too much power and influence over what kids learn and see. They are the filter. Okay. I don't, kids get access to a lot of entertainment. They're on there all day, man.

But there's no metrics. Like, if you look, like I said, you go to a store, go to Target, and then count the number of Disney properties that are toys versus any other company. The Japanese version of the Little Mermaid, another version came out just after the 1989 version. It was the series, and the end message,

it was like a Little Mermaid series with like 27 episodes, something like that. They were trying to get this golden tablet. The Little Mermaid couldn't get it. She didn't turn back into human. And she and the prince were sitting on the beach, and she says, well, sometimes you don't get always, she said, sometimes you don't always get,

what you want. And the prince said, I guess you're right. We don't always get what we want. That's it. That's the important lesson. That's completely whitewashed from A Little Mermaid. That's my problem with Disney. All right. My problem. Last problem is, I don't know, I'm not going to say it's worse than Disney. I am interested to see where it's going to fall in the votes. It's a problem that everyone can relate to. I had a big occurrence of this this week. What? Losing your remote. Oh, great. Losing the remote. Losing the remote. Losing the remote. It's a problem that's plagued us since the beginning of time. No?

Losing the remote. It will forever, yep, yep. It will forever plague us. Remotes are getting smaller, ladies and gentlemen. True. True. The new Apple TV remote is so small. If that thing goes sideways, you can't see it if it's right in front of you.

Yeah. That's the future where... That thing falls between the cracks of a couch cushion, like it's greased up. It's gone. You put it down on the couch. disappeared forever, forever. And then you're knocking buttons around. You're sitting there just trying to relax.

After a podcast, TV's fucking changing its own channels because you're sitting on the remote. You can't lift the cushion and just grab it. Well, you don't know where it is. That's the problem. Every time I lose the remote, if I don't find it, within like five seconds, I start to panic. Anxiety.

Extreme anxiety. That's right, Tim. Tim, James. I learned that word today. Because you don't know if you're ever going to find it again. Have you ever lost a remote for good? No. I wish Sean was here because this happened to us when we live together.

Sean was convinced that someone stole our remote. Okay. Like as a joke or they had some kind of like stolen remote reselling ring. But doesn't Sean also have dogs? It's possible the dog took it, chewed on it somewhere? Well, we didn't have dogs then. Okay. I don't, I've never seen that happen either.

I've had dogs my whole life. I've never seen them abscond with a remote. Yeah. The average time spent searching per week for a remote is five minutes, 5.3, 5.3 minutes. Whoa. I guess I was all wrong about this problem.

That amounts to 278 minutes. That's more than four and a half hours a week. Good. That we spend looking for remotes. No, not four and a half hours per week. over an average lifespan, the number is 370. That's this study. 370, what is this?

Hours? Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, that's two weeks. 370 hours the average person spends in their lifetime looking for a lost remote. That's two weeks. Two weeks. I mean, by choice, no one's forcing you to look for the remote.

God is! Where are you going to do there? You got to find the remote. Yeah, you got to find that remote, man. It fucks with you like a sliver in your brain all day when you can't find that remote. remote. Man, if you don't understand, all right, losing remote is like losing Tammy Trujillo. Yeah. It's like that. Yeah. It's like losing her. Yeah. Because she was going to be the one to get you to the top.

It's like a piece of your soul, Tim Chains. My soul. Yeah. White soul. I don't know what. Tim Chains. You're not. You're not white. You get a sound effect, man. License the horn. I even get an air horned from. I'm sorry I spoke. Men spent an average of 18 and a half days looking for a lost remote while women spent just under 12 and a half days. That sounds. So men are doing all the work in the remote game.

Yeah. That sounds like stubbornness and control. Where's the psychologist talking about that shit, huh? Missing a remote? Yeah. How about that? That's literally you being feeling powerless to control something. How's that for psychology, huh?

Shithead? I think it's literally being powerful. Yeah. Yeah. You're literally feeling powerless and are powerless to control something. So you're spending all your time instead of going out and doing something else. Or how about this? Get a fucking system. Put the remote in the same spot every time. I do that. I never lose my remotes. Well, here's what else you could be doing with your time. Here's what people spend their time doing. Just to put this in perspective. You spend three months of your life in traffic. Okay? Yeah. Thanks to people who don't have. Backseeing. drivers. Okay. Traffic is horrible, right? Yeah.

Three months. Three months. That's on par with two weeks of looking for a month. You spend 17 days of your life kissing. Hmm. I'm sorry, 14. That's two weeks. So you spend as much time kissing in your life as you spend looking for a lost remote.

I don't. My numbers are way different. You spend no time on the remote and... All my time kissing. All your time kissing. Yeah. What a romantic man. Women spend one year of their life deciding what to wear.

How about that? And we spend 48 days having sex. So, there you go. What are you supposed to do if you lose a amount? Like, at what point do you just quit and buy a new one? Because that's the thought. That's the panic that's in our mind. As soon as it's gone.

I guess... What do I do? You get another one, or you use the manual controls on the TV. That doesn't exist anymore on some of these things. They do. They do. Even TVs that you... you don't think they do, usually on the bezel, there is some kind of control. Of course on the TV, but we've got so many boxes now. You've got a cable box. There aren't

buttons on it anymore. I don't know, man. Chromecast doesn't have buttons on it. You're fucked if you don't have the remote. But Chromecast is controlled through your cell phone or your PC. Oh my God, I don't even know. I don't have one. This is all converging very, very rapidly. Everything that has a remote control to it can be controlled by your cell phone, either now or eventually. In fact, I'm... Back in 2003, I had a cell phone. My Nokia E90, it had an infrared port and an app on it that was completely free. All the apps were free on Nokia way back in the day where, well, most of them, you could control anything you wanted with your cell phone.

I had so much fun at bars turning off the TV, changing the channel, turning up and turning down air conditioners. That shit was fucking awesome. You could turn up air conditioners? Yeah. I have remote control air conditioner right now. They make those things. They make remote control. I have a remote control fan in the corner of this room.

Yeah. Hmm. Yeah. That you can control with your phone? You can control anything as long as it has infrared. Well, that makes the remote even more important. No. Especially if it's your phone.

Especially if it's your phone. You're going to lose that next. Well, people lose their phones all the time. All right, that's my problem. Okay. Good problem, Dick. All right. Got anything else?

Nope. Thank you, Tim Chains. Yeah. I got a problem. Damn. You have a problem? What do you mean? That's your problem, bro.

Yeah, we're just definitely skipping you. Yeah. Look, normally I'd say my problem is why Tammy didn't take me back, right? But my real question is, does jet fuel melt steel beams? That's your problem? That's my problem. Does it melt steel beams? That's a dang meme, bro.

Hey, man. That's not going on the list. Nice try, Tim Chains. All right, guys, my problems this week were street art abolitionists and Disney. My problem are backseat drivers and losing your remote. Thank you, Tim Chains. Yeah, thanks, Tim. See you next Tuesday.

Do you have anything else to plug? DJ, Tim Chains, DJ Services at Outlook.com. Email me, hit me up with some song requests. All right. We got another question of the week in here. Yeah. Hey, fellas. The question of the week here.

What do you think would allow you to see more tities? Being able to turn invisible or being able to turn into an animal. Not an insect, just animal. Not an insect. Good. A few things to think about. Yeah. One, if you're a dog or a puppy, you're a lot of puppies as a stick of set.

They'll probably bring you inside and you can chill out as long as you don't piss your shit on the floor. You can probably see some tities. It's really well thought out. Also, if you're a bird, you can fly right the fuck up to a window. I can't really have to be a bird to do that, but it probably helps. It definitely has to be invisible. On these things, it's easy. The things to think about, though, are footprints and knocking shit over.

Those are the things that they're thinking about. And that's necessarily getting invisible, unless the doors are a lot. Whereas being a puppy, someone would lose but you with. Maybe being able to be an invisible puppy would probably be the best option with us. That's not a choice. Discuss it. It's not a choice. Exactly.

Yeah, yeah. What do you think? Would you see more boobs if you were invisible or if you were an animal, not an insect? Always invisible. Always. Because here's the thing. Seeing boobs is half the battle. The other half is jerking it.

So how are you going to jerk it? puppy or a bird. That's a good point. Mm-hmm. Yeah, didn't think about that. Didn't think about that, Matthew. You didn't think of that through. Weird Matthew McConae.

Uh-huh. All right, let's see. I got, um, I got some fuck-ups. Those are usually funny. Yeah. Hey, uh,

this is a guy I love to talk about Star Wars so much. Uh, I have a question. Do you think this is a good idea for an alien species of Star Wars? I called them the Inzonian. Oh.

Oh. Oh. I, Okay. I didn't realize that the first time right I thought he was just stuttering Okay here's a fuck up I don't know

What you guys Whatever I'm fucking stupid So what you guys didn't realize The fucking fact that The reason people The bosses don't allow you to come Whatever fuck fuck I can't speak I'll call back again

No Don't bother It's not getting on Let's see I got a defense of the coloring book But I don't know I mean Do you want to get into it?

that? Is it a long one? It's pretty long. Let's save it for next week. All right. Oh, okay. So the mysterious gift giver, the riddler? Oh, yeah. We know who it's not. We're narrowing down suspects. Well, let's hear it. Hey, guys, it's Butch Santos.

I'm just calling to confirm that the package was not me. Thank God. And there's three things about that package that gives it a way that's not me. Number one, I'm a sincere person. I'm not gonna send you a bunch of dumb shit like that I'm gonna like at least try to send you

something cool I know last time all of that package was cool um two I'm not a Republican like I think that Obama had was like really dumb and um this is the evidence he's laying out his case yeah fuck sorry I can't even count um um fuck what was my last point. Oh yeah. Sorry. I'm not a men's rights activist. Like, I think that shit's dumb. So, yeah, that fact is it's not me. I'm sorry.

Okay. But we would have believed you if you just said he didn't do it. You don't need to present a case, like, to a jury, a sequestered jury. Um, okay, last one. Hey, Dick. I happen to work in the food industry, and I go to work sick all the time. You know why? Great. They don't fucking pay me if I don't come in. All right.

If I get paid, that doesn't make you a good, that doesn't make it okay. Things like Harry's razor blades or your stupid bonus episode. Okay. It's not stupid. You're stupid. Ass. Yeah, it doesn't make it okay if they don't pay you.

That's not a good, that, that doesn't remove you of the moral responsibility to not infect people with your disease. Yeah. Every single person, well, they don't pay. Oh, well, that's, that's exactly what the Nazis said. That's exactly what they said. Well, I gotta go, I gotta shovel these shoes into the ovens or else I don't get paid. You know, what am I gonna do? What am I gonna do?

That collar was literally Hitler. No, he wasn't. Tim Chang's. Beo, peep, boop, boo, boo, pugh. Get the fuck out of.