The Biggest Problem in the Universe: Uncucked - Episode 89

Episode Date: June 14, 2018

Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe, the show where we discuss every problem in the universe from jet fuel to steel beams, with over 5 million downloads. This is the only show where you decide what should or shouldn't be on the big list of problems like matters with me is Dick. Hey, what's up, buddy? And Sean or Audio Engineer. Hello. Welcome back.

Both of those big solutions. Jet fuel and steel beams. Yeah, well. It depends on the context, Dick. I think there's a bunch of... When you combine them. When you combine them, yeah. Big problem.

Yeah. That's what you're saying? Big, big. Okay. Well, no. I mean, that's what they want you to believe. Oh. Yeah.

The people are the problem. What do you mean? Who? The people that want you to believe that? Who are putting those two together and saying 9-11 didn't happen? Oh, the neck beards. The conspiracy dipshits. Yeah, we already brought that in as a problem.

Exactly. Yeah. Okay. Let's all stand it down. Let's all just calm the fuck down. Who, who, uh, what were the results from last week? Dick, the biggest problem in the universe from last week was not enough toilets. Oh, good.

Followed by. Last call. It should be. And lottery winners. Why should it? Why should be? Not a problem. Not a problem at all, people say.

Lottery winners. Lottery winners, not a problem at all. Yeah, not a problem at all. No, Dick, I agree. You know, not enough toilets is a real big problem. Yeah. Yeah, it is a big problem. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. It's so big. We brought it in twice. What do you mean? Yeah. I got a segment for you, Dick. I do this on my...

Is it some variation of Dick versus Dick? No? Like every single one of your segments? There's only one Dick versus... Well, there's Dick on Dick and Dick versus Dick. Those are the only two. But I have a segment I do on my YouTube channel called I Like It Betterwin. And it's, you know, it's what my Little Mermaid video was based on.

Here's the segment. All right. So I remember when I was listening back to this last episode, I was listening to some of the stats you brought in. I thought, wow, that sounds really familiar. You know, one in five kids. Yeah, people having problems with diarrhea. Then I remember way back when in everything, Episode 66, I brought in a problem that sounded pretty similar.

Listen to this. Let's see if you guys agree. This is from last episode. The second biggest killer of children in developing countries is diarrhea. Diarrhea, huh? And that's obviously shitting in the open is a huge cause of diarrhea. So diarrhea is a big, so like poop-poo-related issues. It's like a big problem. It's a big problem.

Come on, more people have access to mobile phones and have toilets. Isn't part of your problem just, you know, proper sanitation or sanitary conditions? It's not the third world. It's not enough toilets. There's not enough toilets. Now we're going back to episode 66. Here's what, uh, here's what we said. 1.8 million people die every year from diarrheal disease. 90% are children under five, mostly in developing countries. 2.5 billion people, billion, lack access to improved sanitation, more than 35% of the world's population. How many people around the world is that that have to deal with like walking around in their own shit then? 2.5 billion. 2.5 billion. 2. 2.5 billion. 2. 2.

billion people don't have toilets? Yeah, they don't... Oh. Who brought that in originally? Shit, me, I did. Oh, shit. Yeah. Well, you're always bitching about a lack of stats, so can't he use you as a reference?

I mean, he knows you did your due diligence. That's research. Yeah. No, he wasn't... I wasn't citing me as a source. On the planet. Well, it's implied. Right?

Yeah. Don't all stats come from you? Aren't you the alpha omega of research and stats? I try to be. Yeah? Yeah. Just like all the greatest scientists in history, ones without a college degree. You're getting at some homeschooling agenda.

Which, by the way. It's nothing to do with homeschooling. I'm just busting your balls. So an asterisk on this one, you think? Not enough toilets? Because I ripped it off? No, it's not. Because you, I think the most interesting thing that you brought in with the not enough toilets problem.

But was the part about, because yours also included urine. and that was interesting. Because I always think about... Mine also included rape. That was a pretty big part of it. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's true. That's true. Yeah, no, it was different enough,

but there were some similarities. If feminists were as concerned about women finding toilets in the third world, as they are about recovering that 4% of the wage gap that they're... If they were more concerned about the safety of women worldwide

than money, maybe we could do something about it. That's all I'm saying. Yeah. That's all I'm saying. Yeah. Yeah. No, the big problem, but, you know, the signpost thing is something I think about a lot when people yearnated on.

It is interesting. But I think it's more dogs that do it. Because I see dogs peeing on every signpost all the time with impunity, whereas bums try to at least, at least do it out of cover. You know, at least do it when people aren't around. But that's the cover, isn't it? The signs. The buildings are the cover for the bums. They just like cozy up to the building. Yeah, yeah. That's what I mean. Yeah. Anyway, Dick. Also, so I got some comments here. I got one from Henry. You got me. Henry Cooker. Henry says, so while everyone was dreaming about winning the lotto, Maddox was doing research on past winners to see how the ones that didn't fuck it up did it.

So when he won, he would know exactly what to do. I'm not sure if that's intelligent or absolutely insane. Maddox is the only guy who is constantly making battle plans in the event of unlikely scenarios. You know, every now and then I'll read a comment that I feel like totally gets me. And that guy totally got me. I do like to plan a lot in advance of things, especially unlikely scenarios. I got an actual, let me see what this guy's job title is, a former financial advisor who has a master's in economic policy.

Uh-oh. The email, the subject line of the email is, here's why Maddox is poor. Okay. And then he goes on to attack your annuity problem. Let's hear it. So what happens if the lottery, he says, can't afford to pay you in the future?

I don't know how Powerball works, but Illinois had to stop paying its winners because they went bankrupt. Like, then what? That happens with pensions all the time. Wow. Right? I didn't think about that. Bankrupt. The happening. It happens, man. Yeah.

You know? You don't know. You got to get that money now. It doesn't know, you're still counting on some other entity, not ever declaring bankruptcy. Let's see. Yeah, hold on. Can I respond to that or do you want to read the whole email first? No. That, first of all, dickhead. Okay. Oh, great point.

Masters and economic policy. Oh, Masters? You know what? Suck my dick. How about that for a Masters? Masters. What a hack. He needs to be czar of economics or something.

It doesn't matter. It's all the appeal to authority fallacy. Just because, look, I appreciate it. It's not appealed to authority. It literally is. Okay. You're saying because this guy has studied at some prestigious university or he has a master's in economics, he's an expert.

Oh, he's an expert. It doesn't mean he's always right. No. Let me tell you why. He's gotten stats, though. Like he's built a whole case. Okay. And let me point out a very simple

rebuttal to that. Okay. Where are you going to put that money that you win from the lottery? In a bank? Yeah. Banks never go bankrupt. Your money's totally safe there.

I'll get straight to the point. In a coffee can in your backyard. Everybody knows that. Of course. It's Andrew Rink, by the way. This gentleman who's perpetrating these outrageous fallacies via email, these appeal to authority.

He says the single best investment would be to go to an online brokerage and buy a bunch of low-fee ETFs. Your actual allocation would be based on your age, risk tolerance, et cetera. So that's what I do. That's what he'd said. That's what he says. That's what he says you should do. Take the money out. You got 30 years basically to double your money in the lottery.

Right. And he says, just go get a bunch of low-fee ETFs. No problem. No big deal. Don't take the annuity. But wasn't... And that's why you're poor. That's why he's... That's why I'm poor. Because I haven't won the lottery and then invested in ETFs. Is that why? I don't know if it's both of those reasons, but that's what he says why. What's an ETF? Did he explain what that is? Would you even believe him? It's just another appeal to authority. Look, I'm not going to believe this guy because he's an expert in his field necessarily. It depends on what he says. Like, even a... I find that fascinating, by the way. But you just said

that I won't believe in someone because he's an expert in his field. It depends on what he says. That means... Yes. The final designer is you. You realize, Dick. You are the expert. You realize. You're more qualified than the expert. No, because I...

That's what people who don't believe in global warming say. Dick, Dick, no. That's true. People who don't believe in global warming don't believe the evidence, okay? If somebody, I'm more interested in his argument and his evidence. Not everything that guy says is going to be correct. Because I have... There's lots of famous psychologists and economists that people disagree with all the time.

And just because they're an expert, they doesn't... mean they don't make mistakes just like that faulty thinking. Like, seriously, where are you going to put that money that you get in the lump sum into a bank? And we know that banks aren't reliable. Yeah, but, and then what? And what happens to that financial institution? Are those immune to go in bankrupt? Is there a financial institution that is immune to going bankrupt? I don't know. What does Bernie Sanders think? That's all that matters. That's all that matters to me when it comes to money. Do you think of a Bernie Sanders supporter? No. Okay. I don't think he goes far enough for your. What were you going to say?

No, there's there are plenty of psychology. In fact, I brought in a psychologist, Dick, today. And my problem, I'm going to talk about a psychologist who is an expert in his field, made a bad call. Oh, it happens. Yeah. Well, this guy, here's something interesting about this guy, Andrew, Andy.

He's had a couple of professional athlete clients, which he says is similar to lottery winners, of course. And he says, sure enough, they can't keep their hands off the principal. And that's all you got to do. Keep your hands off the principle, right? Right. And then you can live on it forever, make millions of dollars forever. It's better than new, but they can't do it.

You know, Dick, that article that you guys shout on so much, the thing the guy was saying is, again, I don't know all about you, but I do know that you buy lottery tickets, so let's consider the possibility that you're not one of the generation's greatest financial minds. You guys had such a problem with that. It's because he was such a prick. Of course he was a prick. Of course he was a prick. Of course he was a prick.

Why, of course. He's a journalist. But the greater message here is not just about lotteries. It's any time you come into a big lump sum of cash. So I didn't even get to all my research last time. I'm going to skip some of these comments. What about if you come into a big lump sum of ass? Then what should you do? You should cash that in.

You should cash that in immediately. Tap those funds. Don't take that on annuity. Big penalty for early withdrawal. Ah! Always make a deposit. Okay, what is the stats that you are rude? So I got an email from Chris Primary says,

fuck Dick Masterson and Asteroos and the snarky comments about how much money a New York Time writer or teacher makes. It's as if you can put a price tag on the value of information based on how much the person giving you something makes, giving you the information makes. I won't read the whole email. He sent it to me an email,

but I do have another, before I go on, I do have another nickname for Asteroos from Matt Maffet. He says, okay, biggest problem in the universe is Bozo Coco Puffs. Anyway, Bozo Coco Puffs and you. You want to hear some voicemails? Oh, hold on. I didn't get to the research. Oh, okay. So we ran out of time, as we're going to do again. We are. We definitely are this episode. There's a wired article called the Psychology of Lotteries. Why do people play the lottery? It's fun. Because we hate everyone in every part of our lives

and we want to escape it. Well, that's not why the majority people play. You and I, Dick, You and I are not regular lottery players. Sean, you're not a regular lottery player, right? Because we don't have the psychology of a regular lottery player. I didn't even play this last one. Oh, shut up. You didn't. No. You didn't at all.

What an idiot. You could have been a billionaire. Yeah. Well, I would have just fucked it up if I, you know, took the lump sum anyway. Yeah, you would have just wasted it? Oh, yeah, totally. What would you do? First thing I would have done was just hammer the principal right away.

There you go. Lottery winners voted up. Yep. This article says, The principle. On that up. It says, on the one hand, the answer is obvious enough why we play. We're happy to spend $3 for approximately 15 seconds of irrational hope for the pleasure of thinking about what might happen if we'd suddenly won millions of dollars.

In this particular case with billions of dollars, everyone played because it was a big event, right? But most people don't play like that, Dick. It says in this article here, on average, households that make less than $12,400 a year, so people who are in poverty spend 5% of the their income on lotteries. Five percent. And approximately half of Americans buy at least one lottery ticket at some point. The vast majority of tickets are purchased by about 20 percent of the population, and these high-frequency players tend to be poor and uneducated, which answers why critics refer to lotteries as regressive taxes. In 2006, a survey found that 30 percent of people without high school degrees said that they played the lottery as a wealth-building strategy. And they

specifically looked at the psychology of people who play, and they said a 2008 paper by a team of Carnegie Mellon behavioral economists help explain why poor people are so much more likely to buy tickets. The problem is, it turns out, is feeling poor. And it actually changes your psychology, changes your thinking. Yeah, that's why we were telling you you should have brought in the lottery. It's a poor tax. No, that's, in summary, it's a poor tax. I don't think there's anyone that disagrees with that. That's why the lottery is the problem. Not the winners. That was our point. Or gambling

addiction. Or poor mental, any of those, poor psychology, any of those things. Yeah. Well, yeah, maybe. But I think lottery winners specifically is I think it more or less is poor psychology. I think it's worth bringing in separately from, because I really

don't think fundamentally there's anything necessarily wrong with the lottery so much as the way it's conducted. Right now, the lottery, the lottery is, is marketed to poor people. They're not showing the lottery, you know, showing someone on Wall Street, putting down his New York Times, sipping his coffee, and then scratching a ticket. Well, let me, let me see you with this one. If there was nothing wrong with the lottery, it wouldn't be illegal to have them. Did you know that? That it's illegal to do your own lottery, except if you're the government. Well, that's because the government, the government wants, to keep total control on that you.

They want all the scamming to be done by them. Yeah. Yeah, there's like, at one point, anyone could have a lottery, and it was mass chaos. Yeah. It was cats and dogs living together. Cats and dogs. Gay people were having kids.

This was in, like, the 1800s. It was chaos. Railroads were being built. God knows where... What if Bill Gates wins the lottery? Is he a problem then, or is he still... You've brought Bill Gates in as a solution in our bonus episode that you can buy on the website

for, I think, 133 right now. Yeah, 133. No, I don't think Bill... I don't think Bill Gates would play the lottery. I think he won the lottery. Let's say that. No. Let's not.

All right. You want some voicemails for a word? Let's hear. Yeah, yeah. Let's see here. Fuck you, Dick Masterson. Fuck you, you, you greedy, bigoted asshole. Bigoted asshole? Stop making me use shitty PayPal to buy your shitty bonus episodes, or I'm going to fuck your sister.

Whoa. Jesus. Well, you can use Bitcoin. Right? I mean... Yeah, you can use Bitcoin, yeah. Isn't it also on iTunes? It is on iTunes, but there's a lag where it's over there. Go check it on iTunes.

No, the last thing you need is another nephew, too. Oh, fuck you. Oh, Hot Wheels called in. Do you remember the stripper that Asteroos was talking to forever? She's a big... She called in. Hot Wheels called it. Maybe Astero's probably plugged the show to her trying to show off, like the big shot that he's trying to pretend to be, right?

I'm on this... I'm a co-host of this podcast Hot Wheels. Babe, go check it out. Try to check out me busting hot jokes. So she called in. Hey guys, it's Hot Wheels, the roller-skitting stripper. Just calling up to clarify that I'm a dude, not a chick. That's be sure why Assyriose was saying, I'm a chick.

He was pretty drunk, though, so maybe he didn't know what was going on. But just let him know he owes me a thousand bucks for all the weird shit you made me do. All right, thank you all. Probably plugged that stopper up his ass. Yeah, he wanted to plug Hot Wheels right before he plugged Hot Wheels. You know what I mean? Here's a great voice. mail of failure, a series of

them. Oh, please, I love Disney. Maddox, what the fuck is wrong with you? The fuck is wrong with you? You're talking about how Disney is whitewashing the fucking moral of the story. Yeah. What? You think they should have

a graphic fucking knife stabbing foot scene? No, idiot. No. Fuck. You dumb shit. I don't know why he messed that up.

You want to hear it? Like, I don't know why he thought he messed that up. You want to hear the second take? All right? Because he said his whole message. Man, what the fuck is wrong with you? You're talking about a Disney's whitewashing, the fucking moral of the story. Stop after you make the point.

Do you think they're trying to market the kids, okay? Do you think they should be talking about how she feels all this pain and shit, huh? Stop, right there. Huh? Huh? Think about your, God, fucking, damn it. Oh, no. I don't know.

One more. One more. Third time's a charm. I just want to say I'm sorry to whoever has to go through these. I'll write it down next time. No, don't write it down. Just, you know, quit while you're on.

Aha, what a dumb shit. First of all, I already addressed that point in last episode. Okay. But Pierce Edwards says, this is a good point. I forgot to mention this. But I don't know what I take issue with more. hearing more Tim Chang's shit at the beginning of the episode or hearing Dick and Asteroos jerk each other off

to Little Mermaid songs at the end. Those songs potentially could have remained in the movie and still retain the hardships of the original. Totally true. Hey, speaking of Tim Changs in songs. Oh, no. No, it's a good one, someone's on. Tim Chains.

Yeah. What are, DJ Tim Chains in the house? How are y'all feeling tonight? It's real. It's real. It's my home boys. What the fuck is this? Okay.

It's real. Hey, man, hit your bomb. I'm a Tilly. I hit your Kuh. Cray, quick, crap. I love that. DJ. Tim Chim Chains.

Yeah. What the fuck is this? Yo, what up? DJ Tim Chains in the house. How are y'all? How are y'all? I need this money right now. You know what I'm saying?

I'm a DJ. Yeah. It's not a horn sound effect. Beoo, beep, beep, beep. It's not a horn sound effect. I hit your kids. I hit your bot smiths. Yeah.

It's for real. You know, how do I use garage band better? I'm a DJ. You know what I'm saying? What the hell are you doing? I love that shit. Y'all, I need this money right now. Yeah.

Yeah. Just. Just fucking. I'm a DJ said. It's my canvas. Y'all, I need this money right now. Okay. Is that enough?

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's enough. I'll post it both. You know, if I, when I come home and I stumble home drunk and the podcast is still playing on Loop, as it often is in my apartment, it would sound exactly like that episode. Like if that episode was playing and I came home, stumbled drunk, that's what that sounds like. You're in hysterias.

You're really hitting the sauce lately, huh? Yeah. What's going on with you, too? That's just thirsty. Men remaining men. Dick, I, I still, the packages keep coming in, Dick. I got a couple more packages. One of them really late from Christmas.

This one I know was meant to be sent on Christmas because there is a card attached that has a tree, a tree cut out. It says Merry Christmas. So a Valentine's Day tree. Yeah, Valentine's Day treat, or he's early for next year. This is, this comes, this hails all the way from Germany. From a listener named Fabian.

He says, Dear Maddox, Merry Christmas to you and the whole podcast crew. I really appreciate your thoughts on depression and self-esteem. I'm looking forward to reading your new book, and of course, seeing you stream more often. Let me know if you like the German chocolates, and he sent some German chocolates. Did he hide any immigrants in them? Nope, I checked.

No. Oh, nice, Dick. They got to get rid of him somehow. Yeah. Some people welcome them, Dick. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He says, let me know if you like the German chocolates,

feel free to share. Best regards, Fabian, and he sent this, he sent his email letters. Yeah, so Fabian sent a box of, it says, Nusperbock, Nuspergabak. Nuspergum. Cool. Canoesperberk.

Nusperberk. Okay, so there's some chocolate. And then we got some chocolate, German chocolates. Gnus for hoots. He sent two boxes of these. You guys were welcome to have one. Yeah, it's the same box. Yeah, but why the hell are they missing out of that one?

Because I ate them. Oh. Yeah, there's two boxes. You're welcome to have that. There you go. Thanks. Yeah. Well, thanks, Fabian.

Yeah, Fabian. Cool. Do you want to get to some problems? Do you have another one? Yeah, so I got another package too. This one is from a guy named Cody. He says, Hey, Dick and Maddox. Thanks for an awesome show.

Hope you can enjoy these games, especially dog football. It's four players. And he sent me with Jerry Rice and Nidus dog football on the Nintendo Wii. It's like Air Bud without the charisma. Yeah, it's... Right? Dog looks like an asshole. Looks like garbage.

Thank you. But then he also sent us a real game called Lords of the Fallen. Lords of the Fallen here. I'm looking at the back of this. I've never heard of this game, and it looks like Dark Souls. It looks cool as shit.

This better be awesome. Was that Tom Selleck on the cover? No. Yeah. Yeah, that's Tom Selleck's dad. The cover of that game. On the cover of this game, there's this dude who looks like a bald Tom Selleck.

With tattoos all over his face, like prison tattoos. His head is cropped, so you can't really see how much hair he has on top, at least from here. Sean, that's a trick. Just put a tiger's hat on him. Yeah, that's a trick bald people do, Sean. I should know. But you don't do it very well. Fuck you, Sean.

You got to walk around with like a permanently affixed crop in front of your head. Yeah. Like a shoulder harness with a picture frame that just crops out the top of your head. So people are trying to always look under your thing, under your, cropped out frame. That'll be my Halloween costume, too. You know, like, people walk around with, like, Tinder borders. Might'll just be a black frame, and it says, not bald.

And it's, like, inappropriate for you to try to look up my frame. Yeah, yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Who do you think I am, Hulk Hogan? Buy me dinner first. Yeah. All right, let's get to some problems, Dick. Good. Thank God. All right, Dick, I got a real big problem this week. This may be

the biggest problem I've ever brought into the show. I have so much to cover. So I'm ground to cover. It's not the biggest problem in the universe, in my opinion. Oh. But it is a very big problem, and it is affluenza. Okay. Affluenza. You're gonna have to define it. Yeah. I gotta run back to my car and get my soapbox. You know, fuck you, shit. That's two in a row, Sean. Wow, you're really on a tear. Be nice. You had me for a second. I thought you really had to go outside or something.

Give me your shoe. I want to cut your shoe. Why? It's your dick. I don't know That's random Yeah I know I just want to cut an article Of your clothing

Is that like a cultural thing Cutting shoes Do you like He's gonna hire a bomb inside They cut your shoe No I'd say if they're angry at you I just looked over to Sean

And the literally The only thing I can see Because he's buried in equipment Or his shoes I'm like I'm gonna cut his shoes Okay Fair enough Affluenza what is that

Affluenza dick So when I When I looked up this term Because I've heard of it a lot In the news With regards to a specific case and I'll get to that in a moment. But I looked it up just to be sure where this term came from.

According to Time magazine, it was originally coined in 1954. However, a PBS documentary in 1997 came out with that same name called Affluenza. And back in 1997, this is what it meant. It was originally a term used to criticize excess consumerism. PBS released that documentary that I mentioned in 1997, in which it talked about how too much consumption leads to stress and unhappiness in our lives. It's from this PBS documentary.

It says the percentage of Americans calling themselves very happy reached its highest point in 1957 and has remained fairly stable or declined ever since. Even though we consumed twice as much as we did in the 1950s, people were just as happy when they had less. So this is all from the documentary. Wait a minute, wait a minute. They consume twice as much now?

Yeah. Like twice as many things are bought? At least. Oh. That's total. overall consumption. That's the consumer goods, houses, cars, all those things. Those are durable and non-durable items. We just consume a lot more. We consume it over twice as much. A typical, this is again from this documentary, I'll link to it on the website. Guys, all these videos and things I'm going to

talk about this episode, I'm going to link to it on the website. A typical three-car garage today is comparable to the average home in the 1950s or about 900 square feet. So we use that same amount of space today just to park our cars that people used to just live in in the 1950s. It should be bigger. I want to park my car in a car, and then park it in a garage. Buddy, you want to drive Maybach. Yeah, I want them... Yeah, sure. Those things are

huge. Have you ever seen... Maybox? Yeah, Maybox? Yeah, they're very expensive, though. Very expensive. Yeah, I just want size. I want, like, Optimus Prime. I want to park my car in the semi, and then have the semi-park in a hangar. That's the future. Well, there you go. And then you can drive slow as shit.

Yeah. I didn't think it was possible for you to drive any sore, but driving a diesel, carrying a car into a hangar, I think you would finally top yourself, Dick. Americans carry $1 billion in personal debt, not including real estate and mortgages. In 1996, more Americans declared bankruptcy than graduated from college. Sounds about right. More people declare bankruptcy than graduated from college in 1996. Since 1950, Americans alone have used more resources than everyone who ever lived before them. Think about that. That is an astonishing stat. That's the combined third world population of everyone. That's including the Romans at the height of the Roman Empire. Yeah, well, they didn't have big machines.

No, but they still, I mean, that was a huge empire. They took over all, pretty much all of Europe. They would have done it if they had our stuff. They would have consumed a lot. Don't, don't, don't, give them credit. They could have consumed a lot of stuff in their orgy domes. gladiator games. I don't know, man. People, I don't know. I don't know what they would have done. Let's not speculate as to the...

Okay, that's true. Let's get an expert in here. Let's just use a really weird stat. Yeah, that is kind of bizarre. No, it's saying that we consume, Americans consume more resources than everyone who ever lived before them since 1950. But we like have more power generation capabilities. Yeah. So it seems like that would always increase as a power consumption goes off. if you want space travel to be a thing, people jumping around the galaxy is going to make our energy consumption

look like a blip on the radar. Well, sure. Yeah. So it seems natural. But consumption does sometimes go down, too, because with the advent of new technology, for example, email and email, I think, is cut down on a lot of paper mail being sent.

Like, the U.S. post office has complained for years that people don't send as much traditional mail, and that's due in large part two technology. Sure. Says here, of the Americans who voluntarily cut back their consumption, 86% reported feeling happier as a result.

That's also an astonishing statistic. So they did an experiment in this documentary they talked about. And by the way, the documentary is very dated. The one that's on YouTube is from 1997, and it feels very 1997, because their research and their stock photos come from the 1980s.

So you're having all these, like, computers that are big square, boxy computers, a lot of denim on denim. So that's what affluenza originally meant. An excess of consumerism. An excess of consumerism. And how it's driving happiness down. Right.

Everyone hates it. They're in a rat race. Watch fight club. That's what we need to do. We need to have strips of leather. That's our clothing. We have one set of clothing our whole lives. We don't have a car.

We have a bicycle. We ride two bicycles at the same time in tandem to pretend like it's a car. Right? No. That sounds like an extreme. That sounds like an extreme. I think that the truth is usually somewhere in the middle. So I looked into this a little bit more because the definition of affluenza has changed over time.

This is no longer what people referred to necessarily with affluence. I brought this in just to give you guys some background, some context, right? There's this documentary that came out on NewsHour a while back. I'm not sure. It wasn't a documentary. It was just a segment I think they had on NewsHour, but it said affluent people are more likely to break the law, more entitled to public resources, and more likely

to cheat at games. This leads to my problem of affluence in a moment, but this is from NewsHour, so I want to give you some context for this. So not, wait, now it's about rich people? It's not about all rich people, but this is an interesting study. I'm talking specifically about affluence, and affluenza is a very specific condition

that affects certain rich people. But here's just to give you some background into the psychology. This is from PBS NewsHour. Listen to this. This is about drivers. You're supposed to stop for a pedestrian at a crosswalk. And in a recent study, some 90% of drivers did, except for those driving luxury cars. They were almost as likely to run the intersection as wait for the person to cross the street.

Drivers of those BMWs, those Porsches, those Mercedes, were anywhere from three to four times more likely to break the law than drivers of less expensive, low-status cars. What do you think of that, Dick? Did the pedestrian get hit? No, they count near misses. What's a near miss? Well, they count near misses, and also in the study, they had people who were waiting to cross, and they just counted the number of times

that cars stopped for them versus cars that didn't. And the cars that didn't were overwhelmingly luxury vehicles. I think German cars are the problem. Yeah. It's South Fabian. It's all his fault. Yeah, I don't really know about the research, the hit piece research of a local news organization.

Like the law is you can't go into the crosswalk if there's somebody in it, which everybody does all the time. Dick. So, yeah, I guess they broke the law. No, empirically, I found that to be the case, too. When I'm walking around, after I heard this study, I started paying attention to the types of cars who stopped for me and the ones who didn't. And overwhelmingly, I have found, and this is true in this study, too,

they found that BMW drivers specifically are the worst offenders. BMW drivers feel the most entitled. They're the most entitled. You might find another correlation other than wealth in this instance. What kind of sample size could this possibly be? Just because you have a, quote, luxury car, especially BMW, doesn't mean you're necessarily affluent. The definition of affluenza, as it is as an excessive consumerism, means that people spend way beyond their means. Like, people are driving cars around that they have no business owning.

Yeah, you guys, you know, you might be right, you might be on to something. Those are all valid points. But they did a study where they give rich people in a waiting room candy that was meant for children. And another study where they were playing a game for a $50 cash prize, wealthy people took more candy and were way more likely to cheat. Good. It's a bunch of Montgomery Burns. Listen to this.

Well, wealthier participants took two times as much candy from children as did poor participants. Another experiment tested honesty in reporting. Ice scores when cash was on the line. People all the way at the top who made $150,000 a year were actually cheating four times as much as someone all the way at the bottom who made under $15,000 a year just to win credits for a $50 cash price. Sounds like we figured out the mystery of the poor. That they don't cheat enough? Yeah. Hey, if there's money on the line, why the fuck are you telling the truth about the dice you rolled?

50 bucks? Don't even give me dice. I rolled all sixes. How many sixes do I need to win to 50 bucks? That's how many I rolled. Yotsie. I'll call it all day long. Like what kind of a moron do you have to be to sit in a controlled environment where you can win $50 from some stupid scientist and not just tell him what he wants to hear? Who are you serving? What master are you serving? Stay poor. Dick, you don't believe in ethics. you don't believe in the ethics of dice games no the honor code are you fucking insane you know who you're talking to yeah I do

are you new to the show yeah why would you do it would you sit there you're in an empty room it's just you you can fill out a form of what number you rolled on that die

and that determines how much money some stupid grad student in a lab code hands you when you walk out the door you're gonna write down three, when six gives you 50 bucks, that's fucking retarded. I mean, well, if you believe that dick, then what's stopping you from just robbing a bank? What's stopping you from being, hold on, hold on, what's stopping you from being in a jewelry store,

looking at a watch, a nice expensive $3,000 watch? And when the teller turns his back, just swiping it. What's stopping you from taking a handful of candy from a liquor store when the clerk turns around? What's stopping you from stealing anything in that point? Science. Yeah, the risk to reward is not under my threshold in the matter of the jewelry store. So unless there is some punitive consequence, you're telling me that you would break every law. No, that's not what I said at all.

What laws would you break without a punitive consequence? What do you mean to list them? Well, what do you think? Because clearly stealing is not an issue for you. Um, no, I steal shit with that plastic bag ban all the time. Like, fuck you. Fuck you. I have to pay 10 cents for this bag. You could easily pay the 10 cents.

This butter is falling into the bag. Go fuck yourself. I agree. I agree with that, actually, because they are ripping us off. Yeah, so what do you mean list all the laws? Well, no, but stealing in general, you don't have a problem with stealing in general. I don't know how someone could answer that. It's illegal. Would you steal, would you steal more off?

Like, I'm trying to get to the bottom list. Would I download a car? Absolutely. Because I say I pirate shit all the time. I don't care. Okay. without a punitive consequence, would you steal or not? Because that's what you're saying, the study that rich people are three or four times more likely to cheat at this game

to win $50. People who make over $200,000. People who make over $200,000. Right? I'm not talking about illegal. I'm talking about right or wrong. We're talking about ethics here. No.

Then it's a conversation that I cannot have because I don't understand. I don't understand even the conceit of ethics. It either fits your tolerance of risk. versus reward, or it doesn't. Especially at some point, even the nature of the business you're doing becomes a gray area. Like, what do you mean?

I don't want to sidetrack the whole conversation. So this goes on here, and this guy who made this study was criticized as being a liberal. Sure. Because that's the first thing, because people, because people tend to think

of rich people as conservative and middle class people as being more liberal or poor people as being more liberal. That's not the case at all. Being liberal or conservative, actually not so surprisingly if you think about it, it has more to do with where you live because people who live in rural areas,

like in Montana, where the population of the entire state is what under a couple million, versus people who live in highly concentrated areas like Los Angeles or New York or Chicago or Stockholm, they tend to be more. more liberal because as you have more spaces that are common use, that the public has to use, people tend to favor legislation that defines the rules of conduct on how and when people use those

spaces. And that's why people tend to think, well, you know, big cities are liberal. It's not because they necessarily have something inherently liberal about them. It's that they need those laws and regulations to define the rules of conduct for common use, for things that are common use, like public area versus conservative areas like Montana, people are more self-reliant. They don't have as much common use. Your next closest neighbor might be 20 minutes away. So you don't need the government to come in and tell you what to do and when to do it. That's why there's liberal and conservative.

So it's kind of surprising that they accuse this guy being liberal. Here's what he said. So, experimental evidence that rich people are more likely to break the law while driving, help themselves to candy meant for children, cheat in a game of chance, also to lie during negotiations, and endorse unethical behavior, including stealing at work. We publish these studies in relatively obscure scientific journals and literally the next day we're getting hundreds of emails from around. the world been a lot quite hostile. I've gotten a lot of vitriol and hate mail from people calling

me out for junk science and having a liberal agenda. Hey but wait, didn't those who complained have a point that the research was done at a famously, some might say, infamously liberal university? I regularly hear the Berkeley idiot scientist who's finding what they expect to find. Our findings apply to both liberals and conservatives. It doesn't matter who you are. If you're wealthy, you're more likely to show these patterns of results. Results consistent across 30 studies he's run on thousands of people all over the United States. 30 different studies on thousands of people all across the United States found the same consistent results,

regardless of political affiliation. Yeah, you're saying it, but I think you failed to convince me that these results are in any way bad. They're taking candy men for kids How much candy do these kids need? I mean, I don't know. I think the kids are probably assholes. I'll take the whole bowl. Sure.

I mean, sure. But the other things like lying doing negotiations being more likely to steal. You should lie at every. If you walk into a negotiation, you need to have in your mind that you think you have a better offer from somewhere else.

Like this is, this is stuff that rich people know from their upbring. This is why they stay rich because they understand things. You're negotiating. It's 100% about bluffs. What the fuck is? There's no best price of anything.

It's what you're comfortable walking away from. Well, let me ask you this, Dick. Do you think that it's good or bad? I don't, what the fuck does that even mean? You can't answer that question. Look, if you're poor, if you're poor, these are the reasons why you're poor. If you're poor, you need to look at the behavior of these rich people and realize that everything in the world

is a scarce resource, and rich people know how to compete for it better than you. That applies to every single part of their thinking, whether they're taking candy from kids or lying about a dice game to make $50. This is what you should be paying attention to if you're poor and you want to get ahead.

Whether it's good, that would be good for you. You will improve your life if you adopt these strategies. It's bad for these dumb shits giving out $50, I guess. It's bad for these imaginary kids who are not getting their fucking candy for free. Dick, first of all, if more people, I'm not saying if everybody, because that's a slippery slope argument, because I don't think everyone would ever do this. But I'm saying if more people, like even the majority of people cheated at jobs, and they cheated when it came to stealing, and they cheated when it came to ethics, and they just grabbed as much as they could,

you realize that would be pure chaos. They are doing it nice. They're not. The majority of people are not, Dick. How many people are listening to this podcast at work right now? The majority. No, it's not. They're stealing time.

It depends on your job. It depends on your job. If you're an illustrator, if you're somebody who does a creative task, if you're somebody who models does 3D modeling or texturing or painting or whatever it is, or sometimes you don't have to have that cognitive part of your brain occupied by your task at hand. Because you can listen to a podcast and still work and drive. That is how you get shitty Sonic the Hedgehogs.

Fuck you, Sean. Being distracted when you're using a 3D modeling program. too. So Dick, if everybody, the majority of people do not cheat. The majority of people are not rich. The majority of people, if they stole

and they cheated and they just grabbed for themselves, you realize that that is not only unethical, but it is also counterproductive to the evolution of society. They have found that even in species of fruit bats, that altruistic behavior increases

the chances of the entire species surviving longer. They found this to be the case This failed... Why, Dick? Why do you hate everything and everyone so much? I don't hate everyone and everything. I just don't care about the species.

Like what... You wouldn't be alive today if someone earlier, some society collectively didn't make these altruistic decisions deciding not to steal, not to cheat. Dick, we all agree on certain rules. Hold on, let me finish this point. Economics is based on as being as selfish as possible. Let me finish this point.

Well, that's not true. That's absolutely not. true. Let me finish this point. If we didn't all agree upon a certain set of rules of conduct that we all abide by, even if it's just the honor system, because at some point, Dick, honor has currency, and you know it does. You know it fucking does. You have your own honor system. You totally do. And it's expensive. You're paying for it. Okay. That's an ego thing. You just said no, and now you're saying yes, make up your mind. You have an honor system and everyone in society does. And if we don't agree by certain rules of conduct

that we all play by, then everything falls apart. What can you rely on if you don't have rules? So what are you saying? No stealing candy from kids? What is your... Is that what you took away from that? Yeah. Don't do these things.

I got it. I mean, I've heard of the Bible. It's not just the Bible dick. Don't kill. They even found this to be the case in fruit bats. So rich people are worse than fruit bats. I got it. What's next on the anti-rich people?

It's an expensive soapbox. That's all I'm saying. That's not my point. Treat yourself. Be a little more aggressive. Well, this leads me to the modern definition of affluenza, which leads me to a guy named Ethan Couch. Uh-huh. He's a teenager who killed four people while drunk driving. This guy had very rich parents, and his dad, his dad owned a sheet metal business in Texas.

They have a huge sprawling mansion Texas, though Yeah, but it's, I mean, this thing is They weren't that rich. Dick, look, that rich, relative to what, Dick? In Texas, look, you can be, you can take a middle class person in L.A. And plop them down in the middle of Utah, Wisconsin.

And they look rich. Sure, but, like, he's rich, obviously, in Texas. All right, it doesn't matter. Like, he's not rich in New York. It's irrelevant. This is a very rich family. They had money. Because here's the thing, Dick.

Just because their business might be valued at a certain thing, doesn't mean they don't have investments or inheritance, or maybe they also struck the lottery or something else. They're very rich. Right. They had multiple huge mansions in Texas. This kid, when he was 13 years old, or no, I think at the time he was like 14 or 15 years old,

he was drinking. Very young. Yeah. He was drinking in a house, in one of their houses, that he was supposed to be cleaning up, and he had a bunch of his friends over, He was showing off. One of them wanted to go to a convenience store. So he hopped in his pickup truck, and his friends told him not to.

They said, dude, you're way too drunk. Don't do this. And he's like... Got to prove him wrong. He's all been there. He got angry. He got angry at his friends and insisted on going down to the convenience store. So he hopped in the car along with eight other people.

There was, I think, five in the... In the cabin? Were you the prosecuting attorney at his trial? No, I don't. This feels like a closing statement. Ladies and gentlemen. I mean, he was already convicted. No.

Well, I'll get to that. But five people in the cabin, in the cab, and then two people in the back, in the flatbed. Mm-hmm. He was playing chicken with oncoming cars. Oh. What? Back to the Future taught us that lesson.

He should have watched that. Yeah. Don't play chicken. Yeah. With needles. Well, or drunk drive. Yeah, but they didn't teach that lesson. back to the future. They taught no chicken. So he was coming around a bend. There happened to be a car

pulled over on the side of the road. It wasn't even around the bend. He lost control because he fished trying to avoid some car that didn't swerve. He fishedaled was in part of the ditch. And there was a car that had pulled over earlier because they had a flat tire. And the woman outside was looking for some help. So the residence inside this house, there's this house that she pulled over in front of where it was a guy, his wife, and his daughter. His wife and his daughter ran outside to help this poor woman. And then during that time, another car pulled over to help them out too. A pastor, a youth pastor.

He told this kid that was with him, stay in the car, let me go check on this real quick. So four people standing outside trying to help this lady with her flat tire. And along comes this idiot, barreling down the highway, and slams into all four of them killing them. Dead. killing them and then the car flipped over

the truck flipped over all said 14 people were injured 14 people were involved in this accident nine of them injured four of them dead and then when the judge

gotta hang him right he got hanged for that you would think but the judge wait that's only 13 people you accounted for the driver the driver he was fine

he was fine okay the driver also he walked away I think he talked to one of the he did he walked away drunk he's he's he's He snuck out of the vehicle and walked away,

and he came up to some of the victims who were still alive. And he told them, he said, hey, listen, remember my name? My parents will take care of this. They'll get you out of this. Yeah. Are they necromancers? You would think?

I don't know. They're just rich, Dick. They're just rich. He said, my parents will take care of this. So his parents did. They hired the best lawyers they could. And these lawyers they hired also had this doctor. and the doctor diagnosed this kid with affluenza.

He says that... He says that his upbringing as a rich person with rich parents sheltered him from morality and ethics and the rules of conduct and any kind of repercussions or consequences. And he argued that in court, and the judge gave this kid a slap on the wrist, didn't give him any jail time, gave him like some community service.

No, no, no, no, you're miscarriage. Don't you see that in poor people? Of course you do. Let's go over the facts here. Because I'm very familiar with this case. Let's start with the judges slap on the wrist. Ten years probation, right? Yeah. She said that she did not consider the affluenza defense as valid. Like I get that it's a great outrage porn and it's something forever. And it obviously is stupid. But this is a, the defense attorneys do anything to get their client off. Like that's their job. And that's the entire purpose of it. They'll bring in experts.

It's a Twinkie defense. He's too rich to know what he did wrong. He's a teenager who was drunk, right? This is the defense. But the judge said explicitly she did not consider the affluenza defense as valid in any way. So just so we know. Like just so we're clear on that. Because it was the outrage porn storm on this was like a Fujiwara 5, right?

Everybody was losing their minds about affluenza and rich people getting off. But she did say that explicitly. Then she also went on to say, he's a teenager. He clearly, clearly needs therapy. So her intention was, and now this is, now, Judge, obviously she can make a mistake, and I'm not saying I agree with this. But her intention was to get this child, child who did something atrocious while being drunk, which is why we don't let kids drink in the first place, right?

Like that's kind of an important, as someone who's very familiar with behaving like an asshole while drinking, I can say that as a child, in no way can you handle being that drunk. Especially around your friends and especially when he's already dealing with so much parental neglect. That was her intention to get him therapy that his rich parents could afford. She'd done it before in the past where she tried to get people there. Now you can make the argument that it was also racist, which may very well be. Because a similar thing happened to a black kid before. Right.

But she sent him to, I think, prison. Right. Because that I don't know if she even gave him the option. No, that's true. Not that he wouldn't have had the option because his parents couldn't afford it. But you've got a lot of things coming together in this trial. I think it's a shame that what people got out of it was this affluenza idea. That's the entire point of a defense attorney.

Like, of course they're going to go for that. Those are the facts. That's what she was trying to do. completely outside of affluenza. Now, now, it backfired. Let's start with it backfired. Let's start with it didn't fucking work because the mom tried to take the kid to Mexico.

They got arrested trying to escape to Mexico, like three weeks ago. Did you know that? Yeah, that's why I brought this in. Yeah, he just got caught. This is from Yahoo News. He just got caught. He's recently back in headlines

because he got arrested trying to flee in Mexico. Couch and his mother, Tanya, were arrested in Mexico last month following a more than two-week manhunt. His mother was deported. to the United States last month. And it's horrible. And this is all happening to a kid.

Like a teenager. No, but you are totally giving this kid a free pass because he's supposedly a kid. They try kids, teenagers under the age of 18 as adults all the fucking time. And this judge did the exact same thing to a black kid. Why the double standard? Why this piece of shit? And her, and his parents, this kid's parents were put under oath. And they asked him a series of questions like, where did this?

Where did this kid get this idea that he can live his life with impunity? And here's what his dad said. Here's some interviews from... Here's his dad's philosophy. It's not just being drunk, Dick. Even outside of being drunk, he has a history of behaving like this, entitled shithead. Look, let me start... Hold on.

Let me start first. You want to throw a kid in prison? I don't care. Okay, do it. Here's the clip. Here's the clip that sets up this kid's mentality based on what his parents taught him. Did you teach Ethan that wealth bought privilege? I don't believe if I ever intentionally tried to teach him that.

Of course it does. Did you teach Ethan that indeed because your family was wealthy that the rules didn't apply to you? Never. Okay, so that's what his dad says. Never, idiot. But the first one's true. Wouldn't you say that wealth buys privilege? That's the, like, that's one of, they're one in the same.

It can, but you don't necessarily have to teach. your kids that. You don't have to teach your kids that just because you're wealthy, you can have excess privilege. And what he's talking about isn't just privilege in general, Dick. He's talking about privilege outside of the norm, outside of what you would expect. Yeah, but it's... Go ahead, sorry.

You can teach your children humility. Well, yeah, but let's not tell kids that they're stupid. Like, part of the reason that this is so outrageous is because of the awful defense that poor people get in court. Like, simply

looking at going to court, wealthy people are going to have massive amounts of privilege. Like, if poor people got the same privilege of the proper defense in court, they wouldn't go to jail. Dick, I'll cede you that point, no big deal, whatever. If you can, you can teach your kids that, yeah, you're rich, still you have more privilege. But the other part of it is about being impugn, about having impunity to rules and laws. And his dad denied it, but here's what, Here's a couple of things that happened. This is from, uh... Yeah, listen to this. Check this up.

And get a load of what he allegedly said during a 1990s. This is dad. For, you got it. A DUI. Did you tell the arresting officer, I make more than a day than you make it a year? Yeah. Probably.

Yeah. His parents happily handing over the keys of their trucks to their 13-year-old, something that at the time caught the attention of one of Ethan's teachers. And what did she say? Mrs. Anderson said he's not allowed to drive to school. And what was Fred's response? Something to the effect that I'll buy the school or something along that line.

Now listen to this thing. Listen to the end of this clip, okay? Hold on. Listen to this. And when he didn't buy the school, he pulled Ethan out of the school. Yes, he did. After that, Ethan's parents opted for homeschooling. Ah! What a fucking asshole, idiot shithead.

These are the type of people. who, you know, they pull their kid out of school. So first, look at the lessons. So fuck this judge and fuck you for defending her or him in any capacity. That's just telling you what happened. Fuck this judge because she knew this. This is not a public record, okay? That her parents, why would you give these parents who'd raise this delinquent shithead

the benefit of doubt that they would get this kid the therapy he needs? And by the way, the therapy that he supposedly needs, they put him in a fucking resort in Malibu for a week after the court case where he got pampered and massaged. But as a judge, are you allowed to bring past transgressions? Or your parents? Transgressions, of course not. You're allowed to...

You just have to deal with the facts of the case. Sean, you're allowed to assess the flight risk. And her justification for giving this kid 10 years probation to slap on the wrist was because he was supposed to get therapy and he needed help. Poor kid. Oh, poor fucking victim. By the way, if he needs therapy and if he needs help, what does he need help from? Aphluenza.

He had never run before. There's the flight risk. Yeah. But she knows. I know he had the potential to. It's not just that, Sean. She knows the justification for this, right? Is that her parents allegedly...

His. Excuse me. His parents allegedly would take care of this kid. Make sure he got the therapy they needed. They have a track record of abusing their power, abusing their wealth, abusing the laws of the land, and he killed four people. Yes. Again, I don't think she can bring in that past stuff about the dad saying you can buy

the school, all that kind of. of stuff in this case. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. But I don't think that you can. But I'll tell you, like another thing, I believe that rich people probably feel a little more entitled as far as, you know, you said, the driver study. Yeah, it's like, no, no, no, I don't have to stop for this guy. No, no, no, I can buy this. I pay your salary, all that kind of stuff. Yeah. But a guy like Warren Buffett is so much wealthier than this guy, it isn't funny. I mean, again, like Dick said, as far as like his company's sales, the sheet metal company? It's under 10. It's, million a year.

Yeah. That sounds like a lot. That ain't shit. I know, I know, Sean. He's probably barely in the 1%. That ain't shit. Look, I understand, Sean, there's, look, that's why I, I'll let you finish your

point. But that's why I brought in affluenza specifically and not rich people, because I don't think that all rich people are like this. I know I have a lot of people, I have a lot of friends who are wealthy and well off. Some of them are shitheads and some of them are great. I think these people's, I think this guy's parents are terrible. Horrible. Horrible.

And he learned either from direct. statement or more importantly example because you don't have to tell a kid things they can watch how you behave and that definitely imprints on them you know counterpoint guy like uh warren buffett um he says his kids are not getting much and they have to work and they will always have to work right that's what he says yeah people take him at face value he's supposed to be a pretty genuine guy right and he's he's one of the he seems like it he seems like it yeah he seems like one of the good same with uh same with bill gates too um there There are rich people who don't behave in this outlandish, monstrous behavior. I think you've got that reversed.

There are rich people who behave in this outlandish monstrous way. No. Just like there are poor people. What do you mean? No. It's the majority of rich people are like this. See, that's when you get crazy, man. No, but that's what the studies say, Dick.

Look into this. The studies say cheating on a dice game. It's not just that. They're more likely to lie in negotiations. That's a good, again. That's a good thing. Condone unethical. It's not.

It's literally not. The definition of the largely accepted... Don't do your own negotiations then. The largely accepted ethical definition. Look, lying during a negotiation, I think you are conflating that with making a good case for yourself. You can make a good case for yourself. But if you outright lie, like say, hey, buy this car and the car is a lemon and you try to sell that car,

that's lying during a negotiation. But that's not making a good case. Right. That's a lot different than a lie. Here's something that goes to your point. And it's that when people get in real trouble where there might be jail time involved, I think people in general will take whatever outs they can. Of course.

And that money, it's like if I can throw money at the problem and make it go away, I'm going to. So as potential consequences get more severe, they're going to do that, which means things like lying, bribery, stuff like that. And it's just because they have the means to do it. So I guess that makes them less ethical people. in that respect. It's not always, it's not always the case, Sean.

No, I didn't say it always. Right, right, right. But I have two more cases here. So, affluence is the problem, and it's not just this kid, this kid, Ethan Couch, is the one that this phrase became popular with.

Yeah, but there's two more... Everyone won't get pissed off about it. Right. The news. But it's not, because it is outrageous what happened. Yeah, but it's the defense attorney. I mean, it didn't have any impact

on the judge's decision. She says it in her own words. It did. It clearly did. It clearly did, Dick. Why did she believe? Why did she believe? Look, I'm not a fucking idiot.

If I was, like, just knowing what I know. Yeah. Knowing what I know about this case and knowing what I know about her, this shithead's parents. Like, first of all, if you end up in my courtroom, because your son, due to lack of supervision, got drunk and killed four people, I know something about you as a parent. And that you're a fucking idiot and you're delinquent. And you raised your child delinquently and neglectfully. That may or may not be due to money. That may or may not be due to money.

Money's irrelevant at this point, Sean. I'm just saying the facts of this case is, this kid ended up in her courtroom for killing four people. So I know all I need to know about your parenting ability. So if they're rich, it's called affluenza. If they're poor, it's called entitlement. No, it's the rich. It's the same behavior.

No, no. Affluenza is entitlement. Poorness has more to do, Sean, a lot of times with, depression and lack of means and being desperate and suicidal and frustrated. But I'm saying when poor people do the same thing, which they can. It's always, yeah, it's called something else. And you hear that sometimes too where it's like, my kid has never done anything. He wasn't in trouble.

He was blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Victim of the system. Yeah, exactly. So you hear that too. Right. Well, you hear, it happens. Rich people get far more impunity in society when they get in trouble. Totally agree.

Here's two more cases. Of course. This is from the Bill Marshall. listen to this. Oh. I don't know if I can listen to this. I don't know if I can listen to this. Paris Hilton's brother, Conrad Hughes fuckface Hilton

McFairn. Who last year was on a flight from London when he, get this, tried to smoke pot and cigarettes up to 20 times in the bathroom. Disabled the smoke detector, physically fought with the flight crew, and then told them,

I could get you all fired in five minutes, I know your boss. And when told he was upsetting the other passengers, said, I will own fucking anyone on this flight, they are fucking peasants. And when the crew finally had to physically restrain him, he said, my father will pay this out

he's done it before. What about poor Kylie Jenner? When she turned 16, she got $125,000 Mercedes and crashed it into some other motorists who didn't understand she was in a hurry. And here she is this week, a month after her father's

deadly accident, texting while driving. Piece of shit. Pieces of shit. Just entitled rich people who have this affluenza because these people have the exact same upbringing where they are taught that they can act with impunity, the laws don't apply to them,

and they're entitled to everything, even other people's lives. How is that a libertarian principle? Life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness, they're taking people's lives. What are you talking about libertarian? Because it has to do with freedom. It has to do with liberty. They are literally taking other people's rights.

Yeah. they're committing crimes. Yeah. And the only reason they're crimes, Dick, is because we as a society have all agreed upon a basic fabric of ethics. We've all decided this thing that we do is wrong or right.

There's no other reason we can or can't do anything in society other than we collectively have agreed that some behavior is bad and frowned upon and we shouldn't do it. Yeah, I don't think anyone's debating that it should be legal for these people to have murdered the victims of this car crash.

Is that what you think we're saying? You earlier said that you should steal and cheat. So do you think I think that if you're rich, you should just drive on the sidewalk like Grand Theft Auto? I don't know, so you're saying, you don't know. Maybe I do think that. Maybe I do think rich people should be able to drive on the sidewalk.

That's what you're fucking saying? I asked you earlier, Dick. That sounds reasonable. Okay. What else? I asked you earlier what specifically,

what laws do you think you should specifically be able to break? I mean, the law book's pretty big. Obviously, I think you should be able, obviously I don't care

about smoking weed. But to you, it's like, it's a cost versus risk, right? Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna get popped smoking weed in my apartment.

Okay. I'm willing to break that law. What are the ones you got? The law, there's a lot of laws out there. Sure. Dick, my problem here today,

But you got more? What? I mean, you asked me what I do and do not believe in. I'm not going to go through the entire law book. Why'd you ask me which ones that I think you should break? Because you're okay with stealing. I don't know. Oh, I'm okay with it.

It happens. What do you want? It doesn't just happen. It's not something that happens to you. It's not like the rain dick. People are doing it all day every day. He's a victim of the system. Yeah.

Officer, it just, this stolen thing just ended up in my pocket. I've stolen lots of things. I don't know what to tell you. I clearly by my behavior, I do it. I don't want it done to me. Oh, yeah. Okay. Well, there you go.

Oh, no! My affluenza has taken control of my brain. I'm infectious. You better watch out. I do agree that rich people are probably, most likely, more of them are more entitled. And you see it, one of my things that I hate the most is a crowded parking lot and a fucking Mercedes parked across two spots. I fucking hate that. You should key them. See, that's a law that I'm fine with you breaking. Like, again, it's all, it's a very, it's all.

in context. You should key that car. Would you agree with that? If you saw someone key that car, you'd go Ah, good, fuck them. Depends. I would. I see it depends. I think that, I think that... Yeah, good for you, Sean. No, I... It depends.

I mean, I've keyed cars. Why did you key them? Is it because you're wealthy? No. This one time, this... This car pulled around the corner in the rain. And this was in a predominantly gay era. I was getting lunch and I saw this car,

this car splash these two skinny gay guys. Was the car, was a car a probe? No, it was not. It was a probe. It was not a probe, Sean, I get your joke. But this car was like, it was a big pickup truck on a lift. And he almost hit these guys too. They were crossing the road.

And he just whipped around the corner, almost hit them, splash them. And the guys were like, hey. And then the guy got out of his car, the driver. Uh-oh, I bet I know. This tattooed. this tattooed fucking idiot, like gets out of his car

and starts calling them the F word. The F word? Oh, yeah. Friends? Yeah, friends. He started calling them friends. Listen, friends. Listen, friends.

I get to do what I want. Listen to your pal. I'm driving a probe. Yeah, you guys look real happy. You guys are a couple of gay guys. Is it the mythological F word or the other one? It's the bad one. So he got out of the car.

All right. He got out of the car, started cussing these poor dudes out. And these guys, like, they look like wimpy dudes. They're not going to fight this dude who's obviously a hot-headed idiot. So I saw him like pull into the parking structure. Normally I wouldn't really give that much of a shit, but he pulled into the parking structure that my car was parked in.

I thought, oh. Convenient. We'll see. We'll see. You know, if I finish my meal in time, we'll see where, you know, we'll see what's what. See what God wants me to do. Yeah, I don't know. I walked up there, saw his car, his truck.

Took out my bicycle lock. You know, fuck you, Sean. No, I took care of that car. I took care of that car. What do you mean you took care of it? Like, it's sleeping at the bottom of the ocean? You can't admit that you keyed it? I gave him a good paint job, dick.

Good talking to? No, he just got a new speed streak. What if he's a fan? What if he's a fan? And now he figured out who did it. Yeah. He's the mystery present giver. Yeah, yeah.

There's a lot of keyed cars out there. But you're like the Casey Jones for gay people. This guy was a piece of shit. And he had his girlfriend in the car at the time And another friend of his, I think. Was she hot? No, she was like, it's just kind of like, I don't know, I don't know.

No, there was like, I don't know how many people were in the car exactly, to be honest. But anyway, yeah, he had this girl with him, I think, and she looked so embarrassed at his behavior. And I've seen people who are abuse victims. She looked like an abuse victim. Probably was. Yeah.

Yeah. I'll say, I don't know, man. I think 100% sure she was. This guy was a real hot-headed idiot. And those gay dudes that that guy bullied will probably never know. Probably never know. Yeah, but there was like a, I'm like a mischievous Santa, I feel.

I feel like I give you gifts of vandalism. It's called The Grinch. And crime. That's who that is. So you're referencing. You're a modern-day Robin Hood. Yeah, thank you, Sean. You're like Harvey Milk.

Yeah. But more effeminate. Okay. Defender of gay rights. Yeah, well, I. I'll tell you what, Dick. I have to shave all the time. How fend is that?

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Okay, here's my problem. It's very simple. This is actually a listener problem, too. Taylor Castillo sent it in to me. But I agree with it. I agree with it 100%. People who talk about their dreams. Hmm.

Sean, you seem to have a problem with that, right off the gag of it. It's like somebody describing a movie, every little detail and nuance. of a movie that you don't give a fuck about. That you do not give a fuck about at all. You would never see. And no thought went into it at all.

It only means something to them as it relates to them. Yeah. You have your own shit. Keep it to yourself. Yeah. Based on nothing, it's just a series of emotions that they had. That they're dumping on you with no, no order, no structure, and no sign of when it's ending or where it's being.

gun or the significance of it at all. It's here's a bunch of random shit that my brain dumped on me that I'm now dumping on you. Get ready for it. Get ready for this because I'm about to waste two minutes of your life. And then I'm going to stare at you like a slack-jawed asshole waiting for you to react to something that my brain invented while I was sleeping. That means absolutely nothing and should have no emotional impact on anyone ever. Hmm.

Okay. So these are not your friends you're talking to? Do strangers come up to you and just tell you about their dreams? Oh, man. I can't think of an instance of that. Yeah, it doesn't happen. It's usually your friends. And why I don't mind so much.

It really depends on the friend whether or not they're a good storyteller and whether or not they can relate it to me or their lives. I have friends who tell me about their dreams who just ramble on. And then I have friends who tell me about their dreams and they're really fascinating. They're fascinating? Oh, absolutely. What's fascinating about them? Well, sometimes...

I'm interested. Sometimes they make causal connections. Sometimes people have dreams about precognition. Actually, like, two-thirds. Wait, wait, what's the causal connection? Like, causal connections between... You might... Like, when you're dreaming...

Like, I had a dream that you offered to buy me dinner tonight. Nope. Hintners. What do you think about that? When you're dreaming, it's a lot of times your subconscious mind working out problems in your real life. And those causal connections sometimes can be made while you're... dreaming. I have dreamt a lot of great ideas that I get up and I write down and it's not incoherent. I wake up the next day and I read it and I'm like, oh my God, that was a really good idea.

So you're a pro-dreamer. I'm a pro-dreamer, buddy. I dream like a samurai. And then you talk about it and you bring it into the real world. I do, but in a very coherent way. I'm disgusted by dreams. I wake up like, no, no, no, no. That didn't happen. We don't do it. I imagine all your dreams are fucking nightmares, dick, where everyone's just stealing from you. It's this like chaotic world. that you've created. Yeah, this like this nightmare world that you've created where everyone's just stealing from you all the time.

You have to live in a guarded fortress and there's like dog shit and street signs falling over fucking everywhere. Yeah, yeah. And, and, and, rain- Why are you so pissed off? I just, I know, I know, I know, because I can see your world.

Why are you still pissed off about the affluenza thing? Oh, because it's fucking awful, man. It got me so fuming, reading about this dickhead. Just the impunity he had, the entitlement. He calls huge conference of people together and talks about his dreams. That's all he did when he took the stand.

All he did is fill a door. For 30 hours talking about his dreams. He does, yeah, his vacant fucking 50-yard stare. So you like hearing about people's dreams. Okay, maybe this isn't going to be interesting then. Would you rather hear about someone's dream or would you rather hear about their dog? Oh, man, easily the dream. I hate hearing about dogs.

Me too, but a dream is so much worse for me. A dream is like making me, it makes me want to slip my throat, like I'm two seconds into it. Dick, at some level, if somebody's telling me recounting a dream, there's a chance, there's a possibility, there's a hope that something in the dream is a person, someone is in the dream that I can relate to, talk about, think about, you know, have some kind of human level relation to. But when it's a dog, the end of the day, it's something cute they did or something stupid that they ate or a fucking trip to the vet. Oh, my God, trips to the vet stories, the worst. Hmm.

Oh, poor fucking dumpy. I took him to the vet because he swallowed, well, what did he swallow? Screwdriver. Tennis ball, screw, yeah. Whatever. Yeah, that is a tough one when they're talking about taking dogs to the vets. Because you never want to... The only thing I'm thinking is, well, don't spend that much money on your...

Obviously, but it does. put it down, but you can't say that. I always. Oh yeah, it sounds like a real tough decision on whether you should spend six grand on your dog or not. Whoa, yeah, what a brain buster. I always jump to the conclusion. See, I skip the awkward part where I have to suggest

they put the dog down and I just assume that they did. You suggested to them. Oh, I always assume. I'm sorry you had to put your dog down. Don't forget the months of acupuncture after the $6,000 surgery. That they have to go through? Yeah.

Sean, The herbal supplements. What about you? Would you rather hear a dream or someone talking about their dog? It's a toss-up. I mean, I like dogs. Some anecdotes I find funny

because I've had dogs or been around dogs that do that. You're not wrong saying that. You've just been influenced by the prior answer. And I see Maddox's point about the dreams too. It's a very small percentage of the time because we do have common dreams, you know, anxiety dreams and such.

I know the teeth falling out or broken is a common one. Or your dick falling off. Never had that dream. Never? Nope. Oh my God. Mine's sturdy. I don't want to accidentally talk about my dream, though.

That's the risk of bringing this problem. It is you can't discuss it without talking about your dream. So I'm the part of the problem once again. It's the first thing I thought. I've had dreams where... I've had dreams where other men in my dream their dicks were falling off and they looked to me because mine was like hard as a tree stump, you know? Like a redwood.

You had dreams about other men's dicks? I don't think I've ever dreamed that. You're going to share some, Milton Burrell? Oh, shut up. People out there going, who the fuck's Milton Burl? Yeah. Google it. What about a kid telling a story?

Do you like that? Oh, the worst. Oh, my gosh. Okay, would you rather hear an adult tell a dream or a kid telling a story? Because the adult dream to me is like the dumbest part of your brain, like below a child telling a story to you. And I wake up and go, oh, great, thanks for that stupid story about nothing. Dick, you need better friends, man What are you talking about? These aren't strangers who are coming up to you

to tell you about their dreams. They're always your friends. And if you choose friends who are idiots... Actually, they're more like ex-girlfriends. But I didn't want to be sexist when I brought this in. I've never heard a guy to tell me about his dreams. Well, when I tell... Those are my friends.

When I talk about my dreams, I almost never say that they're dreams. I just tell them about interesting things that I discovered. Like, that you had forearms and you... drove a biplane through a giant gorilla? What kind of interesting things are you talking about when you do that? I don't really talk about those dreams usually. I talk about dreams where I learn something or I make a causal connection. Like I said, one time, one time in my dream, I dreamt an entire rhyming poem.

And I know I want to kill myself. I want to kick my own ass. Do you know it's a problem? No, no, but here's the thing. I remember getting up and writing it down like, you know, 3, 4 a.m. bleary-eyed. and then waking up the next day thinking it's going to be total jibberish. And I looked at it and it rhymed and it made sense.

And I thought, wow, holy shit, that came to me in a dream. What was the poem? It was about flight and I'll never say it. I'm never going to, I'll kick my own ass. It's funny though. What was the point in the poem? I don't remember. I wrote it down somewhere.

I don't remember it off the top of my name. Flight, good solution. Go vote it up. Yeah. What about, let's see, what about hearing someone talk about their kids or hearing someone tell you about a dream they had. Dream, always. The dream again.

Yeah, I'd rather... So you're not on board with this problem at all. No, not at all. Also, because if something's that annoying, it's like at most two minutes of your life if you want to be polite. If you don't want to be polite, you can immediately shut them down say I'm not interested.

Well, that could go for either one. I vote kids for sure. You vote hearing about kids. I like kids. Yeah, they're great. Oh, I hear about kids all the fucking time. I see their pictures in my Facebook feed all the fucking time. I'm so tired.

I'm so tired of kids. I'm so, to vote up kids, people, please. You know, I'm interested. What should Facebook be? Because we brought in Facebook and we talked about it. No pictures of kids. No. No political opinions.

No. That's awful. No, I'm so happy and blessed. Right? Yeah. What's left? I'll tell you. You know what I think?

I got a new job. You know, a long time ago when I brought in Facebook as a problem. Yeah. That's, again, a huge problem. I didn't even get to all the stuff I wanted to talk about. But I brought in an article from a website called Wait But Why. And that website talked about the, I think, five or seven types of annoying Facebook posts. And it talked about how a lot of the posts we put on Facebook are either posturing somehow or image crafting.

They are annoying political opinions. they're bragging. So then I thought about it. I thought, well, yeah, those all sound pretty true. And in the end, I realized, like, I rarely post anything on Facebook anymore. And it's because of this reason. I don't think Facebook should exist. I think Facebook is awful.

So nothing. I think Facebook is contrary to a net neutral web because Facebook is not running itself net neutral. But that's a whole different topic. That's a whole different topic. What about people talking about the music they like versus talking about a dream? I would rather even hear, and I hate listening to people talk about music they like. I'd rather listen to that than a dream. That's how much I hate hearing people talk about dreams.

I would hands down. Which one? I'm always interested in what music people like. Okay. I've discovered, yeah, absolutely. I've discovered cool shit that way. I'm interested in that insofar as they give me an answer that's more than just everything. No one likes it.

Every time, every single time. I've never heard that. Oh my God. You've never been. You've met you like a girl? That's an incredibly boring person. I know that sounds like, but like it's not just like girls and guys. Like I've met these people, especially in bars and casual conversations.

I ask what kind of music they like. If they say everything, I know everything I need to know about you. Yeah, they don't want to talk to you. No, it's not that. Oh. Because I'll press them. And my first question is always this. How about death metal?

You like death metal? Oh, everything but death metal. I'm like, okay. So everything on top 40 stations? How about country? Do you like country? You know, not really. And one of these people I specifically press, who said everything, it was a girl, she said,

yeah, I like everything. I say, okay, so no death metal, no country. You don't listen to jazz. You don't listen to classical. She goes, oh, no, I like classical. I'm like, which composers? Who are your favorites? The big ones?

Mozart Beethoven. Yeah, those are the two. And then I'm like, okay, so you don't listen to classical. You know what? Here's, for anyone, get out of here. Get out of here. What are you even doing here? Get out of here.

Yeah, get out of this bar. Get out of my bedroom. How about the retelling of a reality TV show? Would you rather hear that or a dream? I'll take that over a dream, and that sounds like poison. Oh, that's a toss-up. Honestly, that's a 50-50. Because it's the same thing.

It goes nowhere. There's no story. None of the actors have any point or purpose. The problem here sounds... The problem here sounds, Dick, like people who don't know how to tell a good story. And do you think they draw that out of a dream? No, I think that people who don't know how to tell a good story doesn't matter what they're talking about.

I have a friend. Yeah, if the writing, you know, i.e. the dream is shit and a bunch of non-sequiters, then telling a story is sort of irrelevant. Sean, what's interesting to me about a good story is how the storyteller relates it to the situation and the context that they're in. So, for example, last night I was at a bar with some friends

and something came up. We were talking about flights, and that led the conversation to passengers, and that led me to an anecdote about a shitty passenger experience I had. Out of context, that might not be that interesting, and it might seem awkward to just bring up in the middle of a conversation,

but a good storyteller knows how to make those connections, and same thing with their dreams. I like that your contribution to that conversation was a rage-induced complaint about a shitty-passage. I think that's more a good conversationalist because you're listening to what they're doing and then you're drawing something from, you know, your own mind and referencing that in the conversation.

Correct, correct. But the story in and of itself, standing alone may not make any sense or may not be particularly interesting. Well, that's why a good conversationalist, Sean, can make those connections and only talk about their dreams when it's relevant to the context or situation.

Like, Dick, if you and I are talking, I don't think I've ever in it, the entire time I've known you told you about any of my dreams, because it's never come up. If I dreamt something about you... I don't remember. I would have blocked it out if you started with, I had this dream.

Like if I was at Martin Luther King Jr.'s rally, I would have just left. I would have just said, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm out. I'm out. I'm going to go fight for civil rights. I'm going to Malcolm X. You, whatever you, whatever you were going to say, I don't care. Well, here's what's fascinating to me about dreams.

And why I don't mind them so much is because I did some research. And according to some statistic, I forget the website, it said two-thirds of people claim to have precognition in their dreams. Oh, God, kill me. And that's a little bit different than deja vu, but precognition. And that's a really interesting phenomenon. I know there's some science that goes into why we feel deja vu sometimes or why we have that precognition. But it's really fascinating to me when it happens.

Has that never happened to you, Dick? I think it's the absolute worst of narcissism and pop psychology is a dream. And talking about what the dreams mean and trying to relate them to people and getting into this endless cycle of self-analysis over nothing, nothing in your friends. fucking brain, when everything in your life can give you these tips of what you're doing wrong when you're going into these random thoughts that nobody understands. It's like a field where you can say whatever you want because nobody has any idea why it's happening.

I don't think they mean nothing, but you don't have to inflict them on other people. That's something you need to figure out how it relates to you yourself. Use your judgment, people. I looked into why people talk about their dreams, and there's a lot of reasons. First of all, it's to overcome anxiety. sometimes people have anxiety in their dreams. Most people actually, there's a study a while back.

Someone claimed that while you're snoring, you're not dreaming because you don't have, you usually dream during REM, the REM phase of sleep, rapid eye movement phase of your sleep, and they said that most people feel anxious when they dream. And sometimes people talk about their dreams because they're trying to work out their anxiety.

They should be buying less stuff, according to affluence it's the consumerism that's causing them anxiety could be right could be that's why I do think affluence is a big problem in that respect to sometimes people people talk about dreams to remember important details they may have

they may have seen you know like me like I wrote down a full rhyming poem in prose they work out problems Is that important? What to write? You wrote down a poem? Oh absolutely A huge A huge portion of my inspiration and my work comes to me from my dreams

Absolutely Doc Brown. And I never talk about it. I just use it. I never talk about it. I dream that one day I will finish my next book. You know, fuck you, Sean.

You're on a tear. You're pissing me off so much this episode. I can bring your fucking car. Where's your car? Do you have a truck outside? It's gonna get me a key, fucker. That's my problem. People who talk about their dreams.

Aren't you glad I'm back? I am. No. All right, guys. My problem this week was affluenza. My problem is people who talk about their dreams. Good problem. See you next Tuesday.

Oh, God. I got a really interesting. interesting voicemail here from an actual literature professor. I think she agrees with you. Oh, let's hear this. Hey, this is Tyler. I am a literature professor from Texas, and my emphasis is in fairy tales and pop culture, so I was interesting to hear Maddox bring in Disney as a problem.

A couple of problems, though, with his problem. Okay. First of all, he said that people aren't doing this research, which is not true. Oh, she took that personally. They had been doing research on Disney and fairy tales for a very long time. There's even a famous book called Breaking the Disney Spell by Jack Zipes. He has many other books on Disney. Also, I was wondering why you were just harping on The Little Mermaid because literally any tale that Disney has picked,

whether it's a Charles Perotale or Grimm's or any of else. They sterilized every single tail. It's not just Little Mermaid. So I think it really would have driven on your point more if you brought that up also. Yeah. And the last thing, Disney is kind of trying to backtrack now with movies like Maleficent and the new live action Cinderella because they realized they fucked up all the tales the first time they did it.

So now they're incorporating all the original folklore back into the movies that they're publishing in the 2000s. That's not why they do with that. That's the show. Thanks. Thank you. Thank you, Tyler, the literature professor. So here's the thing that bugs me about.

You want to out name drop her? Come up with some bigger, more obscure names than she did. Sure. So what bugs me about academia. And Dick, this is, I think, what bugs you about academia. Maybe I'm right. Maybe I'm wrong. Is that academics sometimes get so staunchly positioned in their universe, their little social bubble of other academics where they always talk about this stuff.

They don't, they lose perspective. They lose grip. They don't realize that the majority people don't talk about this stuff. The majority of people don't look at these issues critically, and they're not looking at these stories. That famous book that you mentioned, no one's ever fucking heard of it outside of your social circle, outside of academics,

outside of people who are versed in literature, children's literature, critical literature, critical writing, critical analysis. Those are the people who know about these books that you're referencing and these stories. And by the way, and the other reason I didn't cover these other topics in Disney, I know about most of them, is because it's a six-minute YouTube video. What do you want?

I don't have time. She was talking about the show, too. What's that? You covered it on the show. You also covered it on the show. You went into Little Mermaid a lot. Again, I only have a limited amount of time. If you want me to spend entire hour dissecting multiple hours dissecting each and every Disney story, I could. Yeah, I think she does.

Okay. You got it. Oh, here, Weird Matthew McConaughey also called in criticizing your tax, your financial plans for lottery winners. Okay. don't always take the annuity and this is why because A, how fucking long are you going to live?

If you're 40 I know I don't know how fucking old you are let's say you're 40 let's say you get like statistically like what 38 years

that's actually pretty accurate that's kind of a long time but Let's see, I think the annuity would have been like 930 million. I don't know. If you spent a crazy amount of money a year, as long as you fucking, I'm like, you still have plenty of money. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. Sounds like he's about to come. Oh, my God. I think. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. So you've got everyone all over the spectrum disagrees.

The financial analyst with the Masters and Economic Theory disagrees with you. And all the way down to weird Matthew McConnor. Hey, they all disagree. You know, who's that financial analyst who sent that in? Andy. Andy. Andrew. You're no New York Times writer.

No, no. Andy, listen here. Here's what I want to know. What financial institution is safe from bankruptcy? Because you're claiming that, you know, the lottery commission is something that can go bankrupt. Well, sure. But where are the statistics? Like, how often-

Well, the S&P would be an example of that, like an index fund in the stock market. Everything can go bankrupt. No, no, no, no. That's an example of something that doesn't go bankrupt. It's a cycle of funds. Well, yeah, but the stock market crashes all the time, Dick. Well, yes, if we end up in... Huge recessions.

You lose lots of equity? It doesn't crash and take your index. and remove your index completely, it's just everything devalues and then it grows again. Like that's why an index will beat out a money manager in the long run. Right. Or at least get to parity. But you can, if you invest in that index and during your lifetime,

it dips and you need to withdraw those funds, you've done worse than leaving it in the lottery, excuse me, in the bank accounts of the lottery or whoever, whatever commission it is that's responsible for keeping your funds. Yeah, you know, I would like to see some statistics. If the majority of lottery commissions go bankrupt, that's sound financial advice. I would buy that. Otherwise, I don't see why it's any less, any more of a risk than leaving it in a bank account or buying stocks or getting the annuity.

Well, as long as people don't realize how easy it is to rob banks with their jet packs, then you're good, I think. You're in trouble. Every day there's new jetpack news. Here's one more from Matthew McCona. Weird Matthew McCona. Hey, Maddie. I like how you pretended you didn't know what your own pre-cum tasted like. A dude who shits and leaves and experiments by pinching the end of his dick is also a guy

who has probably licked his finger after touching the tip of his dick during wagging it or extreme excitement. Also, you've probably... probably tasted it after a blowjob. I'm just gonna even fucking know about it. He's got you there. Pretend to you didn't know about it. Yeah. It's not my cum.

It's just, she must have been chewing some weird gum earlier. Chewing some weird gum. Oh, man. You don't have to answer that accusation. No. It's fine. Idiot. Ha ha ha ha.