The Biggest Problem in the Universe: Uncucked - Episode 92

Episode Date: June 21, 2018

Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe. The show where we discuss every problem in the universe from crib death to crystal meth. With over 5 million downloads, this is the only show where you decide what should or shouldn't be on the big list of problems. I'm Maddox with me as dick. Hey, what's up, buddy? Sean, our audio engineer. Hello. Welcome back, gentlemen, episode 92.

Whoa! Yeah. Creeping up on that one hundo. Yeah. Sean, are you going to bring in a problem for that one? By the way? Well, probably not, given my track record. You're fucked.

Yeah. We'll see. What a pussy. Maybe cool, Sean will make it. appearance. Yeah. Yeah, where is he? Sean is cool enough to bring in a problem. He's banging some chicks in a hot tub, Sean. Cool, Sean was supposed to be back

like, you know, several episodes ago. Several dozen episodes ago. Yeah, that's on me. Okay, let's calm down. How did we do last week between Q-tips, food waste, and nobody teaches you how to fuck good. Yeah, Dick. The biggest problem from last week was

food waste. That's good. Cleaned house, and then no one teaches you how to have sex good. No one teaches you how to Fuck good, though. How to fuck good is how Robin. Yeah. And then Dead Last was Q-Tips, which was in the negative, which nobody thought was a problem, apparently, because you guys are all idiots. Yeah.

I warned you. I warned you. Go vote up Q-tips. Q-tips are the new monkeys. I got some comments on that. The Q-tips? Yeah, Zach Zintel says, hey, Maddox, Q-tips may not be great for your ears, but they're good for cleaning video game cartridges. Yeah, that's true.

That's true. That explains the negative. Jamie Pennington says, maybe if you don't jam it in your ear, like, you're loading a musket, you won't injure yourself, don't be a spas and do it gently. I got to agree with that. I did look up what you were saying. No doctors wrote in, unfortunately. I did look up what you're saying and right past like the article of, um, of doom saying

that you're going to make yourself deaf by using a Q-tip. At the very end, it's like, if you must use a Q-tip, just put the cotton part in your ear. And I was like, oh, okay, why I do that? Like, I don't jam it. And I'm not spulunking with my Q-tip. Yeah, but think about how you're getting get wax out of the ear. Think about the process. The Q-tip is not a hook.

It's just a knob. You're just pushing it into your ear. You're just compacting it into your fucking ear. And all these doctors are saying people go into the offices, and they're constantly having problems with compacted ear wax and ear infections and cut ear and, you know, the little ends, the tips getting dislodge. Just the tip getting dislodge. Just the tip getting dislox.

Yeah. Just the tip getting dislox. Sludging you're, big problem. I think you're taking lessons from Trump over there. People are constantly saying, doctors are constantly having all these problems. I don't hear a number, though. It's a big problem. Yeah, huge problem.

Cotips are nasty. I'm not saying it's the biggest problem, but it's one of the biggest. That's one of his moves. It's one of the biggest problems. They're nasty. They're bad. They're bad things. They're good.

It's huge. It's huge. Cotips are huge. Huge with the Y. Huge. So he says it. Huge. What else you got? I got a comment from Anthony Giuliano. He says, someone said it in another episode when Dick said that people making X amount of money shouldn't be teaching about finance.

And he made a good point. He says, someone being able to live comfortably off of $30,000 to $40,000 is exactly the type of person I want teaching me about personal finance. Well, you're in luck. There's a lot of people in the world living in like 20 cents a day. Go get some lessons from them on your, quote, unquote, personal finance. Yeah. I mean. Is he, is he, well, I'll tell you what, you can't do that in big cities. Not without help, not without a roommate, not without a wife or husband. Not in big cities, but also the cost of living is different in big cities. Well, that's what I mean.

The economy of scale changes, you make more, you spend more. But I'm talking about his 20 to 30,000 or whatever. Yeah, you can do that maybe in the Midwest or the South, but you can't do that on the coast. Right, he's talking about the average, like in the Midwest. I mean, studies have shown that people live happily and comfortably at around $75,000. a year. And more than that, doesn't increase your happiness. I read something else. It can rent some first class affection. You're talking about hookers? Yes. Okay, Sean. You know what?

Sorry, go ahead. You know, that reminds me something. Do you remember when we went to the Red Light District? Sure. Yeah. And Sean was the only one who would go ask a hooker how much she cost. This is a long, this is a long time ago. Do you remember that? I was just curious. Oh, yeah. No, no. None of us were. We were all just curious, right? Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Sure. We were all just very curious about it. I would put money that you've been with the hooker. Oh, no. Come on, come on, come on. No? Let's get back on track here. You sit on the affluence.

With affluenza, yeah, I read this other study that said the reason money doesn't make people happy is because they're not spending it on the right things after a certain point. Right. Which was interesting. I don't know. But that seems like that whole affluenza thing. I don't want to get into that. I have way more important issues.

shoes to talk about. Oh yeah, I do too. What is a stop? More of this? Okay, let's hear this horseshit. Here's, this guy is a professional driver who disagrees with you, okay? Professional driver? What the hell? With, with a resume. Is this Tim Chang's calling in from Lyft? Because that's also technically professional driver. He's already discredited. I don't even want to play his voicemail. As a professional driver, I worked for three years driving professionally in a Twice. I have a completely clean MBR and this train how to drive by, you know, multiple people.

An old man. The destination of a stop. When you come to a complete stop at a stop sign, it's very simple. One, you don't move. That's a professional driver. Yeah, it's a professional driver. Talk by multiple people. I think it's moving.

And then once you're going to. No, all right, here I get another one. God damn it, Maddox, you have no fucking idea if your bumper is going to move up and down when you come to a stop at five miles per hour. You're so sure, but you didn't do a single test. You just use the weird video game physics engine in your brain to come up with some bullshit. I was just driving, listening to the podcast, and I tested your stupid argument. Guess what?

My bumper moved up and down. Fuck you. Of course. Yeah, but that depends on your shocks, you fucking chimp. That your shocks, they're not going to make a law based on the, the stiffness of your shocks, idiot. They're just not. That's just absolutely,

can we throw that out the way to look? You want to tell me that stopping means coming to a full stop for some amount of time that's greater than an infinitesimal amount of time. Fine, I'll buy that argument. But don't fucking feed me this whole line of shit that your bumper has to go up and down. They're not going to make a law based on the stiffness of your shocks, idiots. Wait, no, hold on, John.

Because unless your shocks are made of a cinder block, your car will go down and up when you stop. Not necessarily in a perceptible way. No, it's not. It depends on the speed, your momentum, the inertia that your car has. It also depends on how hard you put on your brakes. Yeah. Because I can do it at idle speed, basically, where you just let your foot off the brake and the car goes.

Yeah, you make the car dance. Sure, Sean. More than perceptibly. Yeah. And also, if your car has hydraulics in it and you happen to hit that button as you stop, or what are the cops going to do? This is real. Well, his bumper moved.

Oh, that's right. I'm going to take it in the bumper, man. It's a bumper idiot. You guys are all idiots. Doubling down. I already thought low of you guys, and now I think less. If there's any engineers in the audience, you want to rev up their wolf from Alfa accounts, send in the explanations. I got one for Robin.

Robin, what a great guest. Great guest. She always brings in sex problems, but she's a very smart woman as well. Those aren't mutually exclusive. Smart people like to bone. and she posted her video on, we posted the video on our website, check it out,

the Wheel of Fortune, her Pat Sejack Vana White boning theory, and she has the smoking gun in this video, and our fans love the video. Oh yeah. I highly recommend you check it out.

Yeah, it's not one of these, like, meta pieces. No. You know how these comedians do, they think they're so fucking funny and self-aware. I don't even know if I'm joking or not. That's how funny I inherently am.

Robin's not like that. No. Well, here's a voicemail for her. Hey Maddox dick I love you guys But seriously Fuck Robin for being a heightist None of us short guys can do

Anything about our height Except stupid things like wearing lips in our shoes Well you can do that It's a big fucking problem That I know you guys don't have But if you're dating criteria Demand 6 feet plus only guys Then you deserve to be used up

Like a disposable fucking whore I doesn't fucking suck Nobody talks about it And there's just shit A short guys can do Fuck you, Robin. No wonder your sex life sucks. Oh.

You know what? Fuck that guy. Fucking swinging. That's how you get her voice, male, on the show, guys. Just so you know. Bitter, angry. You can hear the desperation in his voice. Well, he's got a point.

You know, all these chicks who say there's a height requirement to ride this ride. Okay, maybe the ride's a little old. Maybe the ride's been ridden a little too much for me. Blame society. What can I say? This is a cultural phenomenon. They asked Nicole Kidman about divorcing Tom Cruise, and she was like,

oh, at least I can wear heels now. Just for the record, because Robin's not here to defend herself. She didn't have a high requirement. That was you and I that added that to her requirement. She said she's only dated one guy taller than her, and that turned into a hundred guys saying, what a bitch, she's got a high requirement. It's like, guys, I'm sick of being called a white knight on this show,

Oh, yeah. Mostly because, well, you remember we did the live episode? Yeah. And it's like, Dick Masterson goes full white night. It's like, okay, motherfucker. Yeah. I was on an internationally syndicated talk show for five hours, doing, saying more misogynist things than you've ever imagined in bed by yourself. You wouldn't say these things, you pussy.

Don't you ever call me a white night, right? And I don't want to be called a white night now, but Robin did not say she has a high requirement. Sounds like something a white knight would say I mean you can't You can't win these fucking kids What a white knight, what a white knight Like kid you wouldn't dream of saying The things that I say on television

You wouldn't say them to a child You fucking pussy Yeah we brought in the social justice warrior problem And all these like same idiot pussies Are like oh yeah good problem Yeah social justice worries a big problem But then when you when you mention anything in the opposite or if you argue any other point,

suddenly you're a social justice warrior, liberal cuck. That's what they call you. That's all they have. It's the only ammo they have. It's confirmation bias. Big problem. You are a liberal, though.

Fuck you. You want to hear one? I guess one more. One more. This is another Robin one. You don't want to hear more about Robin, or you want to hear more about breaks? Or Q-tips.

Let's hear another Q-tips one. Okay. If I can put Q-Tips in about me years, and what am I supposed to do you? He seems like you're using this product. You're a big problem. That's you sound like. Such a fucking idiot.

They're cutest. They're fucking cotton swabs, dude. You apply shit like liquids with them to other shit. Like maybe a wound or something. I don't know. You could use them for all sorts of shit. Are you that fucking retarded? It's cotton on a fucking stick.

Yeah, I get it, dip shit, but that's not what people use it for. We're having an is-a-argument, you fuck. You need to look at how people are using them. Not what they should be or could be using them, dick fuck. It's not, uh, Maddox, you can use them to clean cartridges. Uh, Maddox, you can put alo on my wounds. Why don't you put alo on that sore ass of yours after I kick it, bitch? Battle of the retarded voices on this show.

Immediately. I don't know how people use cuttips now. They put them in their ears. I don't know. Look, chicks use them sometimes to clean off makeup. I get it. Yeah, which they should. You know.

Yeah. They should do a little more cleaning. Yeah. More cleaning up as far as I'm concerned. It's a little too thick, ladies. Yeah. Huh? Yeah.

Right? Take one from us. Go. Be naturally beautiful. Yeah. Duh. Yeah. Yeah.

Guy who hasn't shaved in three days. All right. We ready to move on. It's not time for the Harry's ad yet. Settled down. With your references. I caught myself. Go ahead.

All right, guys. I got a big problem this week. Internet addiction. Oh, God. Yeah, it's close to home. Yeah. Internet addiction, guys. Now, this sounds like one of those, like, goofy, goofy problems, but I watch a documentary.

No, it's the opposite. I'm sorry, I must disagree with you already, but this is a major, major problem. That's how I can get you to support my problems is if I come out of the gates shitting on them, and then you'll start supporting them. Wrong. All right, guys, internet addiction. Yeah, it is a big problem. internet addiction disorder was originally proposed as a satire of the way people use the internet back in 1995. Which, by the way, guys, 1995 is the same year I got my ex-mission account and created my email address that I still use today.

My email address is, what, 20 years old now, 21 years old. Wow. Yeah. You've, uh, never mind. It's not going to make that joke. My email address is old enough to drink now. Anyway, there's a psychiatrist. His name is Ivan Goldberg.

He introduced the concept on his website, but shortly after he's, you know, he's a child. did, stories started flooding the news about kids who had serious psychological addictions to online gaming and the internet. This was in 95. Yeah, 95 this happened. Wow, man. Yeah. The internet really sucked in 1995, too.

No, it was pretty cool. Okay. You know what? I don't know how cool is the word you're looking for. Maybe another one. I really liked the old internet. Better? I connected to it with dial-up, and there were very few websites, and it was super fast,

super easy to access, because it was mostly text-based. There were no images. There was no bullshit. Because I had to surf the internet using a text browser. Sure. And I would hop on IRC. I was able to, this is kind of funny. So my parents, to punish me when I was 16 years old, would take away my computer

monitor, which pissed me off because I legitimately used my computer to do homework. I would type up all my homework assignments and do programming and things like that. So because I was using a text-based modem to connect to the internet, I knew how to do that without, I knew how to do that blind, without seeing the screen at all. So I wanted to test my theory one day because I was so bored. I would sit down from my computer with no monitor because my parents were just being dicks. And I turned on my computer and I'd listen for the memory test beep.

And then I'd listen for the second beep when DOS loaded up. Then I knew which director did go to to launch my program. And I even knew the shortcut codes to dial into my internet service provider. Then I heard my modem kick on And then I thought, well, I don't know if I'm actually logged in or not So I thought I'm going to hop on IRC IRC is internet relay chat for anyone who hasn't used it Who's cool?

Yeah, the majority of people. So I hopped on IRC and I thought, I wonder if people can actually see me in the channel Even though I can't see them. I said, hey guys, I'm typing this to you blind. If anyone can read this, send me a control E character, which makes your PC beep. And all of a sudden I hear a little control E, a little beep.

And I was like, wow, that's kind of cool. I can hop on IRC blind. Yeah. Did that show your parents? No. Do you run it? Hey parents, fuck you. I beeped at my internet friends without my monitor.

You better think of a better punishment. You better start taking away the soup. Yeah. Why you take away my keyboard, my fingers? Yeah. Anyway, yeah, these, so stories started actually flooding the internet about people who are addicted to it already. Like back in 1995 when this guy came up with this theory.

In 2009, a 19-year-old kid named Ben, Alexander got addicted to World of Warcraft and was playing it for 16 or 17 hours per day. He used it as a crutch for his intense social anxiety, according to CBS. And here's a clip from NPR about it. Listen to this kid. He actually had to go to a rehab facility in Seattle. And this is the kid. Listen to this. Ben Alexander says he's an addict. Hi, I'm Ben and I'm a gamer. He says around the time he went off to college, he got involved in an online game called World of Warcraft. It fairly quickly got out of hand to where I was missing classes and spending entire days just playing and not doing anything else.

About to flunk out, he asked his folks for help. His family is now spending $300 a day to keep Alexander away from the Internet. He's the first client at a startup detox program called Restart. We know that people tend to get hooked by things that are rewarding, but unpredictably so. And the internet is just built around that principle. The internet can be habit-forming, she says, just like booze or gambling. If you do it compulsively and in spite of the negative consequences, then we'd say that's an addiction. So that's an addiction.

If you do it habitually and compulsively in spite of the consequences. That's how she defines an addiction. Yeah, but not if it's funny while you're doing it. What do you mean? Like I'd like to tell a lot of jokes while I'm drinking. Yeah. Get a lot of good stories out of it. That's not an addiction if you do it and you learn a little lesson at the end of every night.

You're doing it. And people are like, man, that guy was a real blast to hang around with. Yeah, but you're doing it during your addiction. You're doing it during your alcohol addiction. I mean, I don't know. I'm not a doctor. Okay. Now, that lady psychologist, a lot of psychologists disagreed.

It's still a contentious issue. It's being debated whether or not this should be recognized in the DSM manual. you know, the psychological manual where they diagnose people. But that psychologist thinks that it is a problem. Because in 2009, this happened again, a 22-year-old mother in Jacksonville, Florida, killed her three-month-old son

after his crying interrupted her Farmville game. She shook the baby, then went outside to smoke a cigarette to calm down, and came inside and shook the baby some more before going back to her game. To make sure it was dead? No, she didn't think it was going to kill it. Oh.

Yeah, her child. She killed her child. She killed it. Yeah, that was according to Mashable.com. Then in 2010, a Bulgarian City council member lost his job and got demoted because he couldn't stop playing Farmville during meetings. This guy lost his job. He was so addicted to it. And then his defense, when they brought it up to him, they said, well, councilwoman so-and-so is on level 40.

She's higher than me. So why aren't you going after her? How many people are driving around playing Farmville? Facebook. That's what I want to know. That's very dangerous. Those people should be ashamed of themselves. Very dangerous.

Driving around on the internet, with their internet addictions. I feel like I'm listening to a confession here. I saw a dude on the freeway the other day who was driving very slow and swerving a little bit. And I thought to myself, I guarantee this shithead is texting while driving. And I drove up next to him, and sure enough, his face was down in his lap the entire time looking at his phone. I honked, looked at him, and then I pointed to my eyes, like, you know, the eagle eyes, the, the, the international sign for I'm looking at you. I'm looking at you. I'm looking at you.

So I pointed to my eyes, and then I pointed to the road with my fingers, and he looked at me, and he nodded. And he said, you're watching the road. I get it, buddy. I'm watching my phone, no big deal. He nodded, and then I went up past him. I sped up, and then he sped up to catch up to me, and I thought, well, here he is. He's going to flip me off. And I look over to him, and he gives me a thumbs up, and I know.

okay sign. He learned his lesson. I actually helped that guy. He's like, yeah, you're right. No, he was saying, take your thumb and shove it up your butthole. That's what he was saying. I think you're soft-selling this problem, honestly. No, there's, I got more. There's tons. Another father abused his child because his kid interrupted his game of Everquest. The kid was locked in a closet for more than 24 hours, and then he came out fabulous. No, just kidding. No, his child had a broken collarbone and a punker. heart and he actually died. Wait, sorry, what?

Yeah. How did he get that playing EverQuest? His father slammed his kid into the closet for 24 hours. For playing EverQuest? Because the kid was crying that he was hungry and wanted attention. Oh, and the dad was playing EverQuest. So he locked him up like Matilda so he could keep playing EverQuest? How did that happen to the kid in the closet?

He must have hit him first or something. He slammed the kid into the closet and the kid had a broken collarbone and a punctured heart. Oh, man. Yeah. Yeah, got arrested for playing EverQuest. And then a Korean couple, this is a worldwide phenomenon. A Korean couple also let their child starve to death while they raised a virtual child online in some stupid game. Yeah. That's smart.

Probably a better return on the virtual child. Yeah. New one comes out, ugly like you, stupid like you. The virtual one, you just put cash into it gets smarter and better. Right. I saw this Reddit thread of this guy on Sims. He said he had really hot Sims. who mated and the child that they had was really ugly.

So he gave up the child for adoption and then had another kid and the kid was really hot and then the child came home from school with the kid that they gave up for adoption as their friend. As her friend. Yeah. Sims drama. Sims. So it's such a painful Greek tragedy that is the Sims daily life. So the screen couple, they'd go to internet cafes for hours to play games and they'd pop in occasionally to feed the kid powder. milk and in a statement the father said,

I'm sorry for what I did and I hope that my daughter does not suffer anymore in heaven. Talk about leveling up, huh? What a weird quote, no? Yeah, I mean, these people are addicted to the internet. I still think you're soft-selling it. Because these people are one-offs.

What do you want to add? How about that every motherfucker on earth wastes, like, what percentage of their day on Facebook? Yeah. How about, you remember that domestic violence story that I brought in? I bet that was caused because that girl is addicted to Instagram.

Which domestic violence? Well, the one where that girl came up to my apartment after she got her ass kick. She would never get off her phone. People are glued to their fucking phones. That is internet addiction. That promise of having some connectivity with another human that screen brings you, that's what internet addiction is to me, because you're constantly jonesing for it.

This is coming from an addict. That's the feeling is, God, just please give me more of this, so I can get that high that I want. None of it's giving it to me. I'm going to keep drinking. I'm going to keep snorting blow. I'm going to keep shooting it into my arm. I'm going to keep looking at the screen and scrolling and scrolling and scrolling even

though I never get off from it. That's the addiction part. And everybody's got it. Huge problem. Huge problem. It is similar to the dopamine hit that you get from heroin. The first time people take heroin, allegedly, I've never done it. Everything.

Similar from the hit you get from everything. The entire addiction center is wired like that. Caffeinated soda. Yeah, right. It's everything releases that dopamine. It's the reward thing. It does become compulsive. It does become compulsive to the point where I personally, I have become at times in my life,

addicted to Facebook and Twitter, especially because of what I do, it's so difficult for me to ignore it because part of it is having to post things on Facebook and Twitter. If I post a new article or if I have to interact with someone to bring in comments for the show or whatever it is, it becomes compulsive. So sometimes I'll just be pulling up Facebook and I hate it. I hate everything I'm reading.

I hate all your stupid opinions. I hate all your kids. I hate all your dogs. I hate everything and everyone on Facebook, but I can't stop looking at this garbage. And all the stories are stupid bullshit. Hashtag trending topics, which is always about Mark Cuban's stupid fat face.

And then I read this shit. And sometimes when I'm reading it, I get bored while I'm reading Facebook. And I open up a new tab and I go to Facebook. I go to any more. Facebook. Like I'll be on the computer. I'm going to shut the laptop down. I'm going to go to bed. I'm just going to

pop up my phone for a little bit more internet. Just a little bit more. Just a nightcap. I'm done getting shit-faced at the bar. I'm going to go home and have a couple beers in bed. That's how bad the addiction is. And you've got a built-in rationalization. You, you are in the red. There is a scale of addict,

possibility of being an addict. You are in the red. No, I'll cop to that. It's very difficult. To the point where I... To the point where your book is super fucking late because you're on Facebook all day, dicking around. Yeah, I was not talking about that. But he, you know what? He does it for the fans.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. He does it for the fans. It's my sacrifice. That's how I give, all right? So I would create a script. I created a script a long time ago that would block Facebook and Twitter on my computer. And I'm a lazy person, so I like to make an efficient way to do that. So I don't have to always go into the long directory and Windows to,

block it in my host's file. Is a shortcut? I created a shortcut. Yeah, I created a shortcut for it. And then I realized I was using the shortcut any time I wanted to check Facebook. It was super easy. So I deleted the Facebook, the shortcut,

and then made it super difficult for me to block and unblock it. And that's actually helped. That's what I recommend to everyone. Block Facebook. Block Twitter. Let me tell you why this is the most dangerous problem and addiction that there is. Because all of the other drugs, every other thing that people abuse to get high,

is to stop loneliness, and the internet offers the promise of ending loneliness. You're not dulling it. You're not dulling the loneliness with liquor or drugs. You're going to fucking end it because there are people on this screen you can actually interact with.

Huh, Dick, I was, I was, that's actually surprisingly astute coming from you. Yeah. I was ever a backhanded compliment. No, but for real, that's the heart of the issue here, is loneliness. I thought you were going to say be wildly off the mark here,

but that's exactly what it is. No. Another 22-year-old Korean man killed his mother because she nagged him for playing too many games. He then went to an internet cafe and continued to play

right after murdering his own mother. Is this like on another timeline? Do you wish that was you? Taking tips from that guy? No, man. Then in 2005, a man collapsed in the city of Tagu for playing StarCraft

for 50 hours straight. He went into cardiac arrest and died at a local hospital. He went into cardiac arrest while playing a game for 50 hours. And then I knew my brother had a coworker for a long time ago who was severely depressed. And the last time anyone saw him was he called in sick to work or something like that. He took a Friday off and he spent 72 hours in his apartment alone, didn't leave. and the next time anyone discovered him was dead because he just spent all that time playing

World of Warcraft didn't get up, didn't leave. They didn't order any food? I guess not, I don't know. How did he die? I don't know all the details. The ceiling fell on him. It was a warlock, a warlock spill. I don't know how he's...

What do you mean? That's how he died? That's how he died? That's how you die in the civilized world and you die in 72 hours in your apartment? No, I think... Actually, now that I remember... Now I think I remember, I think it was a suicide because he wanted to join a clan to do a raid together. Yeah, okay.

And they did it without him or, I mean, this is like serious, serious stuff. I have a friend who was visiting Los Angeles and she said she had to leave early. And she said she had to go back home and she had an important thing going on. And I said, well, you're already here. There's all this fun stuff going on this weekend. What's so important that you have to go back? so quickly, so suddenly. And finally she confessed, she goes,

well, I have a raid, and I'm like, what? A what? And she goes, it's a World of Warcraft. I have, I've scheduled a raid, and I have to be there for it. I'm like, are you... How do you mind you're going back home to play a raid in World of Warcraft? Yeah, don't you want to go to this adult coloring book, polyamory party with me? Fuck you.

In China, the addiction is so bad amongst its youth that they've opened up over 400 rehabilitation, centers to help these kids. 400 of them. Do they work? Well, to make rehab works. Some of them do. Really?

Yeah. There's a documentary called Web Junkie. It came out in 2014, I believe. It's a fascinating look at what goes on behind the scenes for these kids. So some of these kids in the facility played for 40 days in a row. One kid spent $8,500 in a month in an online game. And some of these kids are so addicted that they don't even get up to go to the bathroom because it'll affect their performance.

So they wear diapers. They sit at these internet cafes in diapers That's cool Yeah What's wrong with that? They don't even want to get up And then car drivers Wear diapers too

Presumably Do they? Yeah Don't they piss in theirs Don't they have like I think they do I think they do Astronauts piss in their suits

That's cool So what? What's wrong with that? You should wear them Sure Dick should wear them to save his underwear I mean how do they rationalize it Like at what point

Are they just playing computer games And all of a sudden They're like Well you know what I guess I'm just going to put a diaper on today. Like, this is the day. Today's the day I'm starting to wear the diapers.

Yeah. They, I don't know how they rationalize it. These kids, first of all, none of them, they speak just like addicts. In this documentary, I highly recommend you guys check it out. It's called Web Junkie. It's about one of these rehabilitation centers in Dashing. It's a province of Beijing and China. And they rationalize it by saying, I don't have a problem.

I just like to play video games. And they don't even realize the incestation. that's coming out of their mouths. One of the kids was like, yeah, I only play 10 hours a day. Only, only play 10 hours a day. Another kid was crying and screaming on the phone with his mother saying, please bring me back home. I promise I'll just play four hours a day.

He said he's going to cut down to four hours per day if she brought him home. And then these kids, some of them got so desperate to escape from this facility that they would sneak out the window. They put like light bars and stuff on the window. It's not quite bars. It's kind of like a metal mesh, so they couldn't get out of the window. They put, like, children's playground equipment that they have to climb over and do basic exercise to get out of the facility. Which none of them do. They're all terrified of.

They won't get near it. Yeah, they all look pretty pasty. They all look like gamers. And so this kid, one of the kids, like, I guess, removed the metal mesh and climbed out the window. Seven of them escaped. And the facility was panicked. All the instructors were running around. They're like, oh my God, these kids escape.

So they were looking for the kids. They caught them three days later, like 50 yards from the facility. John wheezing. They sprinkled PlayStation, like PSPs around the perimeter of the facility just in case there's any breakout. They trap them like landmines, like, oh, uh, you guys are actually not too far off. They caught the kids three or four hours later at an internet cafe. Yeah. Fuck you kids.

These kids, these poor kids, they're so. So addicted. They got on, they took a cab. The first cab they could find and took it straight on internet cafe. Yeah. It's so sad, man. These kids, I mean, it's a serious addiction. And then the parents are at a loss for what to do. There's a psychologist in the school and they're even not sure whether or not this is an official diagnosis because it's mixed. The psychological community is mixed on whether or not to diagnosis as such. But it's addict behavior. Yeah. Yeah, of course. It's very severe. addictive behavior. And so they

encouraged the parents even to come down to the facilities, stay with the kids, and it's so sad. One of the kids was, just felt really unloved and detached from his parents. So one day, his dad, the kid's dad

wanted him to stop playing a game because he'd been playing for five or six hours. He said, you need to turn it off and go to bed. The kid wouldn't do it. So the dad came over and just turned it off. And the kid lost his fucking mind and ran over to the window and was trying to throw himself out the window. And the mom, the mom, the mom grabbed the kid and pulled him back in.

He was half out the window. And the dad, the dad, I mean, it became really intense. The kid was like, do you want me to die? He goes, go ahead, kill yourself. And the dad was upset. The dad was at Wits' end. So this is a very last resort thing that they're doing, is putting these kids into these rehab facilities because they don't know what else to do.

And there's a scene in the movie where the kid has to tell his father that he loves him. And the father, they both, like, break down. It's so tough to watch because the father doesn't know what to do. And the psychologist in the school eventually talks to the parents, and they have a couple of theories on why this is happening, especially in China. It's a big problem in China. And they said that part of it... Is it because China sucks?

No. And, like, life sucks there, so it's better, so they like escapism more, like that specific kind? I don't know. I would want a fake world if I was, like, breathing in soot. It's not, I mean, that's not the kid. This is a still minority of people who have this problem. But the psychologist's framework for why this is happening in China more than other places is possibly in part due to the one child policy. So the children, they said that the children are just looking for some kind of online connection.

And they finally got one of the kids to confess. They said, when I'm online, I can talk to someone else who understands me and gets me. and they are my buddies, they are my friends online. And so they have an intense addiction, not necessarily to the game, but to the social aspect of it with other people. Because these people in real life have no social skills. They're not able to look anyone else in the eye.

They're not able to make friends. They're not able to be productive and keep jobs and stay in school, that sort of thing. These are people who have, it may be a psychological disorder, but it's very deeply steeped in loneliness. Everybody's got it. And when they have those friends,

like those text friends. So I get a lot of emails from guys who are trying to pursue these weirdo long distance relationships. It's like, well, we talk every day. It's like, dude, none of it's real. None of it's fucking real. Like, the idea of you have in your mind

of these words you're reading on the screen are like this weird, idealized conception of you have another person. They're not like that. Like, this is a fantasy. You are living in a fantasy. That's what the instructors and parents would tell the kids in this facility

that this is not real, this is fantasy, but the kids actually think the opposite is true. They say that reality, yeah, they say that reality is more fake than the online virtual world. And if you think about it, if you have time to craft your statement and image to another person online,

you can make it look and seem however you want and make it seem, it's an idealized version of you. Like if you, if you stutter in real life, you're not going to stutter online if you're typing. Right. If you don't look good in real life, can make your avatar be whatever you want in real life. That's why when I brought in the Oculus Rift, I know, I know myself and I know that this is a very,

I have a somewhat addictive personality when it comes to technology and things like that. I know that I'm going to get sucked all the way in, full in. Yeah. I can't wait for it. And I've never played World of Warcraft specifically because I know that I might get addicted to it. I've avoided it entirely because I know that it's one of those things that can just suck you in and not let you out.

And I just want to end it on this one last note. One of the fathers was so desperate to get his son back from an online game that he hired assassins to kill him in the online game. Right, right, right. We all went there. We all knew that that was where you were going. Oh, oh, in the game. Oh, I see, I see.

So I saw this news report. It's actually in the trailer at the end of the credits of this movie, WebJunk, The news report talks about this father who hired these assassins, and the kid got suspicious because these guys were following him from server to server. Oh, my God, that's funny. And there's like five or six of them constantly killing his son and only his son. And finally, he didn't he called the virtual cops? Yeah.

He called the Tumblr police. Yeah. No, he called his own assassin crew. No, he actually confronted these guys, and he's like, guys, leave me alone. I don't have a problem. It's not an addiction. And, of course, they all say that.

They all say that. And they think that these facilities are trying to bring... It's disgusting. Yeah. They think that these facilities are trying to brainwash them. The kids think that the facilities are trying to brainwash them? Well, I mean, that's true. No.

You've got to fight a brainwash with a brainwash. The best way to get over drugs is Jesus. Okay. Well, it works. It's super common. Yeah, trading one thing for another. Yeah. Extreme behavior.

I guess. But see, those sudden changes almost never last. Yeah. You have to learn it over a gradual period of time. Well, Sean, these facilities, what they do is they take the kids and they have them in a very rigid, structured environment where they have times that they have to do things. They have to do very basic tasks. They teach them how to make their bed. And these kids, a lot of times in these internet cafes, they'll go 30 days without showering.

Oh, my God. They're basically like homeless people. Well, it's like an opium den. Yeah. It sounds like. It's weird. It's a culture that we don't really experience in the U.S. because we don't have that dense, impacted environment of people who, A, don't have a huge living space,

and B, don't necessarily have enough money to invest in a high-end computer. So, internet cafes are very popular in certain provinces in China and certain provinces. It's actually big in Japan as well. People just spend days living in these cafes. You know what these kids need? Burning man. Yeah. No phones, man.

No internet. No, like, I'm... No showers. You can rig up a shower. But you go, this is honestly true because I think the internet mostly socially only serves to make people feel bad about themselves.

And going without it for like 10 days or a week or whenever I go, I feel like a better person after I do it. Like I do think internet addiction or whatever degree, not to the degree where people are going in closets and getting their heart stabbed or whatever that happened to that gay kid,

I think it's rude. It's ruining, it's ruining people's lives. Like, it's making life worse. Why? Because. For everybody. More miserable, more disconnected. Like, the urge to compare yourself to the time everyone else is having is always there.

Like, okay, here's a study that everybody that makes me think of it. Guys were asked to rate the attractiveness of, like, their partner or a girl based on not seeing anyone at all. and also seeing a bunch of like hot chicks. Right. And they always rated their partner or the selected girl way lower after seeing a bunch of hot chicks. Like it's making everyone more dissatisfied with their lives. Because all you see is a flood of other things. Like it's not even necessarily, not even like a palpable envy.

It's just you see them. You're exposed to them. And it makes you appreciate everything you have way less. Yeah. People go out and they have a fun time on their vacation. and they post all those pictures and you see those pictures and you compare them to your life and you realize well my life

kind of sucks in comparison. Yeah. You download the pictures of their wife in a bikini to use later. You're like, well, you know I think my wife's hotter but I don't know now. Or that this other fucking better. Or sometimes these pricks come back from an awesome vacation at Burning Man and all they post their fucking pictures of Burning Man. Yeah, it's horrible. That's the problem,

I hate it too. I hate it too, but I like being totally disconnected. You know what, Dick? Vote up Facebook. That's exactly the problem. Vote up Facebook. Brought it in is a problem. Yeah, but they're making an Oculus Rift. I don't know. But they remind you when your friend's birthdays are. That's pretty useful.

Yeah, so does a calendar. All right. Speaking of waste of paper, calendars. Yes. My biggest brother of the universe is receipts. Receipts? Yeah. How many receipts have we gotten in our lives?

Like a billion? How many times have you ever used a receipt? Twice? Yeah, maybe. Three times? Very rarely to return something. Never, never. Never.

But I have a whole car. I have a trash bag of receipts dumped out in my car. that looks like I'm, I don't, some kind of, like, it looks like the guy from Seven's notebook library got shredded into my car. I always have clumps of wotted up paper in my jeans. I've got, you get receipts that are three feet long that you have to fold up like a wallet and stick in your pants.

Why? Why do we have, why do we need proof that we bought this thing? Do you, have you heard that Mitch Hedberg joke about donuts? No, what is it? He had a joke where he said, I walked into a donut store and bought a donut and he gave me a receipt. And he thought, at no point in my life,

do I need to issue documentation that I purchased this donut? He said, you give me donut, I give you cash, end of transaction. That's it. I don't need documentation of this purchase. Why does McDonald's even give them? When is the one instance in history where someone has needed to prove that they bought an apple pie? You know, Starbucks asks you. Whether you want a receipt or not.

That's more offensive. It should be on you. The onus should be on you for asking something that's totally weird. Hey, can I have proof that I bought this latte? I guess I could get a manager to like fill out a permission slip that you purchased a coffee here. Well, you would only need it if you need to be reimbursed, like a runner for a recording studio or something like that. You go out and get coffee for all the clients and the band and the engineer and producer and stuff, and then you bring it back and they reimburse you. That's the only time you would need to receive.

And also the IRS is. a big problem here because if you have to write things off, if you take a lot of clients out for dinner, if you buy products for your business or whatever it is, you have to have documentation that you purchased it because apparently your bank statement is not enough. Well, exactly. Like every time I go, if I ever want to return something, I'm like, uh, yeah, okay, you got the receipt. No, you have my credit card. You do it. You do the fucking leg work. Right. Dude. Yeah. Don't put this on me. You want to know how much, uh, I did some like, uh, uh, Like ecology, what do you call it, when you're trying to save the environment?

What is that called? I did some pussy research. Oh, environmentalist research. Okay. There's how much waste goes into receipts every six hundred and forty tons of paper were used for receipts in 2010. Yeah, that's a lot. That's ten, that's eleven billion trees. I don't even know how many trees that is.

There's a lot of trees. I think it's 11 billion. It's a lot of trees. Dick, if you... That's one tree for every seven people on Earth. Whoa! More than that. It's like 1.1.1.

Oh, you're right. Like 3, 1.4. Something like that. Dick, are you in favor of emailed receipts? No. Those are more offensive to me. Why? I don't want the receipt in the first place.

I definitely don't want you to have my email address. Yeah. Because the whole point of the fucking receipt game is that they print coupons on it now. Like CVS. figured it out that they can scam you into the system by giving you like these little pittance amounts off of like bubble gum or

lotion or whatever. Never anything good. They're never giving discounts on whiskey or beer. No. Right? What's worse is that they give you discounts to competing products. Oh hey, we noticed you're buying Q-tips. Why don't you buy this other brand of Q-tips? We notice you're buying this shampoo, buy this other shampoo. I don't

fucking want this other shampoo. And it's this endless reel of coupons that just prints out. I was it Why would you pick shampoo? Because it always seems to be shampoo The coupon. The coupon is always worthless to you. Yeah, that's what you're getting at.

Oh, I see what you're saying, Sean. Fuck you, Sean. It's not funny. It's not funny, asshole. I agree with you. I agree with you because I'm always getting shit like, here's like a 30 cents off a douche nozzle bag or condoms. Like, I don't fucking, what in my buying history of grapefruit juice, whiskey,

and like laundry detergent makes you think that I want any of this shit. Some coupons is a Prozac. 1.2 billion gallons of water to process all that paper into receipts. Whoa. That's a lot. Yeah, that's a lot of... A lot of water, a lot of paper being wasted on the shit. And the thermal ink is BPA-based. Is it really? Yeah.

So it's like making you less of a man. Huh. That's what BPAs do. Yeah? They shrink your dick or something. I don't know what they do. They're very bad to have around kids, though. Well, they're... So, so, There was that big movement to get BPAs out of plastics and things like that a while back, right? Are we talking about the same thing? Yeah, so they said, we did it, we fixed them. You know what they replaced them with? Yeah, something way worse.

BPCs. Yeah. They don't know what they do. No. Like, well, we got rid of those BPAs. Yeah. And everyone's like, awesome. We nailed it.

Yeah. Way to go. Social Justice campaign. Same thing with the whole gluten thing. Everyone was trying to replace gluten with something else in the products. And they're trying to find things that make your food kind of have that elasticity to it that gluten would add. And the things they're adding to the food are way worse. for you. Yeah, rubber.

It's just about, yeah. It's like these weird polymers and chemicals and things that don't exist in our universe, and now they're putting them into the food. That doesn't necessarily make them bad. I'm not one of these natural apologists, where everything has to be natural and from the earth, because there's a lot of things from the earth. The majority of things from the earth will kill you. Moulton lava. Yeah.

Put that in your fucking burger, idiot. Oh, man, I really hate receipts. Nordstrom's hasn't figured out. Why? They put a sticker on your item. Oh. And then they scan the sticker if you'd bring back. Dick, were you going to, are you going to mention this? The most egregious thing to me about receipts is when they want to check them as you're leaving the store. Didn't even think of that, but yeah, I'm incensed by that. I am incensed. Yeah, it's fucking bullshit. Yeah, Home Depot, Best Buy, places like that. Best Buy. Yeah. The smarmy Best Buy

fuckers piss me off the most because they see you. They, they, best buy, the way they have their lines set up to check out is through this maze, which I've been, I've been wanting to do a video about this. They create this. That maze? No, this maze of merchandise, which is a fire hazard. It's a fucking fire hazard. They're not allowed to corral you through a maze of merchandise. Of a film and snacks and DVDs that no one fucking wants and all these last minute purchases,

batteries, all the shit, they're corraling you through this maze of bullshit. So you're standing there for a fucking hour. Yeah, it's a death trap. If they set up the store, like they do those fucking mazes that they have, that they heard people through, they would get shut down in an instant. But for some reason, all the fire codes overlook this big fucking maze that they put in at the front of the store. So those Best Buy fuckers see you walking through this maze for an hour until you get through to one of their dipshit checkers who don't understand how to check people out and someone, oh, God, they're paying with a check. So you're going to be there for another fucking hour.

And then you finally get to the front and then, oh, can I check your receipt? Like, shit, did you just see me walk through the whole fucking line? What are you going to check for? No, you can't check it. Did you see me shoplift? Then fuck off. You can't check my receipt. And their reason is always, well, we're just trying to make sure that you got charged for the right things.

Have you ever asked them? Because I always like to get in people's faces, you know. Like when that first started happening, it's like, why are you checking my receipt? Right. Why? Yeah. Well, we do it for you to make sure that you got charged for the right things. Like, really?

You guys got hired for my benefit? Yeah. Was there like an epidemic of people getting overcharged for items here at Best Buy? and they determine that paying the dumbest people in the world to read a piece of paper and then glance at a bag like their gizmo duck, pretending that they can count up everything that I have and verify that the seat... Like, no, it's not. You're just doing this.

I think you're doing it so you can secretly profile people who are shoplifting. Yeah. Right? Like, not me. They're just glancing at mine, but like, you know, like a young black kid comes through. I think they're putting a little bit more scrutiny. Right. And like holding them up a little bit so they can get a beat on what's going on.

There. Yeah, I hate receipts. It's like having a beard after 9-11. Yeah. You guys probably don't know this, but if you look at all ethnic, right after 9-11, I went to an airport and I got so many random, quote, random screenings, and I'd walk over to the line of random screenings and everyone in the line looked like a seek. I thought, oh, you guys are also randomly being screened? Okay.

Well, you guys should have looked into some razors. This show is brought to you by Harry's. Visit harris.com and use a promo code biggest problem. You can save $5 off your first purchase, whether or not you're Muslim. You can use a Harry's razor to shave your beard. It's a great feel. It's the quality of the blade that I cannot stress enough. They're German engineered, five blade cartridges, a close, comfortable shave with no cuts or burns.

You want to go to CVS and dick around with receipts the size of the Bible in your pants? Or do you want to place an order online, not have to deal with anyone offering you a receipt, and just have it arrive at your doorstep? Yeah. Obviously. That's obviously the choice. I want the second one. Yeah, why pay $32 for an eight pack of blades and a receipt where you can just get them for half the price at harries.com? No receipts.

And no receipts. They won't even email you a receipt. That's not true. They'll obviously email you a receipt. Because you can get your money back if you're not satisfied. Hey, you know what? Harry's leaves the choice up to you whether or not you want to print that receipt. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What other company does that? You know what? I want them to start writing. writing receipts. That's how to fix this. Or I'm just, maybe the solution is to just throw the receipts. Like get it out of the machine and then rip it up into pieces and throw it all over the store. Yeah. Like there, at what point does this cost more for you to clean up than it does for you to make? I want to find that point. Yeah. It's probably already past that. Those POS machines, they have to have those thermal ink printers to print those, those are expensive. Those cancer

printers. Oh my gosh. And all the time they have to go get another reel of paper. I wonder how many hours of productivity is wasted every year on refilling those fucking cartridges. Billions. Billions. Not the biggest waste, but one of the biggest. One of the biggest. Yeah, that's the move.

That's the move. See, Harry spends that time just making better blades. They do make great blades. Go to harries.com. Use promo code biggest problems. Save 5 dollars a pretty much. Sean brings it back. I was waiting for it.

Thank you, Sean. Thank you, Harry's. And thank you guys for supporting the show. It means a lot. And keep the tweets coming. Harry's loves them. We love them. It's awesome product, awesome merchandise.

Guys, great job. However, I got a real buzzkill. I got a real buzz kill of a problem. You do? Yeah. Confirmation bias. Oh, boy. That's a big problem, though.

Big problem. You want to bring in, like, a fall problem? No, I can run through this pretty quick. I don't like when you run through it, though. You have so many good observations on things. Thank you, Dick. Uh, this is how well I know Dick. Not even half a percent of that was sincere in any way.

I know. I know. Oh, come on. Sorry to pull it covers, but... Half a percent. How many percent are there total? Not that many. A lot of backhanded compliments in this show.

Dick, this is from Science Daily. I know you'll love this observation since I have so many good ones. This is from Science Daily. It says, in psychology and cognitive science, confirmation bias or confirmatory bias is the tendency to search for and interpret information in a way that confirms one's pre-conference. Conceptions leading to statistical errors. Yeah. Big problem.

Yeah. Space is a friendship, though, really, when you think about it. Confirmation bias? Yeah. I don't want to hang around people that disagree with me. Too much. Yeah. Yeah, confirmation bias is a big, big problem. It's a phenomenon wherein decision makers have been shown to actively seek out and assign more weight to evidence that confirms their hypothesis and ignore or underway evidence that could disconfirm their hypothesis.

This is, in essence, why people believe in goofy shit. There's two big reasons. First, they don't research it. Second, confirmation bias. When they do research it, this is especially true of you conspiracy dipshits. The Sandy Hook truthers, the 9-11 truthers, the Oklahoma City bombing truthers. Catholics. Yeah, I know what you're saying.

All the berthers. If you have some goofy belief, like, especially for conspirators, theories, they'll go to websites that specifically reaffirm their points of view. If it, look, guys, if your website, if your source has the word world or truth or dot TV

in it, it's bullshit. I'm specifically referring to worldtruth. TV. Oh. There's also info wars, all these, all these conspiracy websites. Now, here's that oil empire.com. Having to post. Yeah, Huffington

is garbage. Here's how you can tell if your website is garbage. If you go to one of these websites, say they're an alternate news website, like worldtruth.tv or info wars, look at the research that they have in there, right? They make a claim and then they have to link to a source. I mean, they don't, they usually don't, but if they do make a claim and they, in a, once in a blue moon link to a source, that source is usually another conspiracy website. So I did this research. That links back to them. Yeah. Yeah. I did this research a while back and I clicked on one of these links. It took me to another conspiracy website and I looked at

the source for them and their source is the other conspiracy website. They're just pointing to each other. Rock solid. Yeah, solid. People don't follow through. They find the answer they're looking for and then just stop there. It's like finding your car keys. You don't keep looking afterwards. That's a good point. I hope. When I'm

doing writing research, it's very rare that I don't look for information that is a conflicting point of view because you have to be prepared for that argument, because it's going to come up. Like, for example, when I wrote my article about I fucking love science a long time ago, where it said, you don't fucking love science, you love science photography. In that article, I predicted the argument people were going to make was like, so what?

People just like science photography was a big deal. And I addressed that argument in the article before people even brought it up to me. You have to do that research because otherwise your argument is not going to be strong. I know what you're saying. I did the same thing when I wrote, when I wrote men and better than women, I read this book called the top 1,000 female inventors in history.

There's such a book? No. Just kidding. Yeah, I didn't think so. Because when I wrote the alphabet of manliness in my Enlightenment section. You like that one, Randy? Yeah.

No, this is actually a fact. I wrote this and I talked about this on public radio, on PRI, NPR, PRI. I went on this and I did an interview. and I told them how when I was doing research for my book, I was actually looking for female inventors. Because in my Enlightenment section, I said everything anyone has invented worthwhile was invented by a man.

And then I thought, well, just out of curiosity, I wonder what female inventors there are. So I went to the Wikipedia page of female inventors. Love nice. Guess what? Doesn't exist. Aw. That's too bad. This was in 2004 when I wrote this book.

That's when I looked for this Wikipedia page of female inventors. didn't exist back then, and it doesn't exist today. You're kidding. It doesn't exist today? It still doesn't exist. Has someone tried to make it and got deleted? No, there's no, there's black inventors, there's Muslim inventors, there's even a page for Armenian inventors.

There's no female inventor page on Wikipedia. How to make a BMW blue? No, did you shit head? First of all, it's Mercedes, Dick. Oh, you're right. I'm sorry. And then it's goal. Sorry for shitting on your heritage and culture.

How to hang blue curtains upside down. No, Dick it. That's Persian asshole. You're getting all your stereotypes wrong. Wait, why isn't there a page on female inventors? Yeah. Good question. There are some. But why isn't there a page on it? So I looked into it and I did a lot of research to try to find these female inventors. There are some. Yeah. The woman who invented, the person who invented Teflon, I believe, is female.

Yeah, Kevlar also. Kevlar, yeah, Kevlar, the board game Monopoly. Although I don't think she got credit for it. And then the person who invented the straw hat was a woman. Oh. Because most of the things that were... Adelaide, invented, you know, computers. Yeah, there was a...

Who was it? No, she did a lot of the programming for... Hetty Lamar, I think, too. Yeah, she did a lot of programming for... A couple radar things. Yeah. So, anyway, I was on NPR, and I mentioned this. Oh, here, wait, wait, Randy's pulling this up.

He says there is one. It says category women inventors. Right, let me see. He's pulled it up on his phone. Wait, I'm like... I'm looking at it. Don't crab. There's no drop down.

What do you mean? There's no drop down. I mean, it's blank. That sucks out. Oh, no, no, no. There's a lot of them on here. I'm curious when, I'm curious when that was created. Here's one.

Thomas Abbott. Uh-oh, that doesn't sound. No, I'm just kidding. No, that's not really on there. But there it is. Go look at it. Category. Women Inventures.

Oh, this is, yeah, this is new actually. Look, we did it. Pages and Women. We did it, guys. 132 pages are in this category out of a 132 total. This list may not reflect recent changes. I'm curious, I'm curious when this, because this didn't exist when I was doing the research for my book. And I even checked a few months ago.

And this wasn't, this wasn't, this didn't exist. Okay. So anyway, so I mentioned this on public radio. And I got an email from this nice old lady who said that, uh, that female inventors do indeed exist. And she wanted to send me a book. She sent me this book. It was something like 1800 pages, this giant book about women in history. And she had bookmarked, one.

or two pages about the inventions that they created. And that was it. Even this book, that's all they had in it. Well, they've been busy with a lot of chores. Anyway, let's be serious. No, that's true. Like, the invention of the washing machine and dishwasher freed up their time. That's not sexist.

That's not, that's literal, that's true. That they invented the washing machine and dishwasher? The invention of, like, the thing, machines to take care of basic household chores. Like, that's a tremendous amount of work. I mean, I don't want to get off into a tangent. No, no, you're right. I thought that you were saying that they invented those things. No, I don't think so.

Go ahead, go ahead. So confirmation bias, guys. Big problem. And you can tell because this conversation would have gotten a lot different of Robin were in the room. Yeah. Chemistry teacher, Robin, very smart. Anyway, there is a book called You Are Not So Smart. It's actually a really fascinating book about cognitive biases.

I recommend everyone check it out. Anyway, there's this section they wrote about confirmation bias. And it says, the truth is, your opinions are a result of years of paying attention to information which confirms. affirmed what you believed while ignoring information which challenged your preconceived notions. So he gave an example of the movie. He said sometimes you might see, you might think of an old movie, like The Golden Child. The Golden Child is a movie with Eddie Murphy? Eddie Murphy? Yeah.

The Eddie Murphy movie. He says, have you ever had a conversation in which some old movie was mentioned, something like the Golden Child, or maybe even something more obscure? And then you're flipping through channels like the next day, and you might see that movie playing. and you read some news story about it the day after, and then you see some of the actors in it in another movie. This isn't the universe trying to tell you something. It's called the frequency illusion, and it's a confirmation bias. It's also like in Curbary Enthusiasm, Larry David, there's this episode where he starts driving a Prius, I think a silver Prius,

and then everywhere he goes he starts seeing silver Priuses, and he always waves to the other drivers. That's confirmation bias. You notice the car that you're driving on the road way more frequently than any other car. Yeah, that's pretty annoying to hear about. Yeah. Confirmation bias is annoying, and it's annoying enough when you're arguing with idiots online,

but it has some real-world implications that can cost people billions of dollars. This is from a study from the University of Iowa, from Science Daily. They found that once people reach a conclusion that they aren't likely to change their minds, even when new information shows that their initial belief is wrong, and clinging to that belief sometimes costs real-world money.

equity analysts who issue written forecast about the stock market may be subject to this confirmation bias and they do not let new data significantly reverse or revise their initial analysis. It's almost like your ego gets in the way. Yeah. It has something to do with that, Sean. Confirmation bias in student traders participating in the Iowa electronic markets

over a 10-year period during which they bought and sold real money contracts to predict the four-week opening box office of receipts. Dick, big problem. For new movies, the students analyzed markets, for a total of 18 movies. I got it. Yeah.

They analyzed the market for 18 movies released between 1998 and the year 2008. And the research shows that even as the key first weekend box office receipts were reported, the prices that they predicted stayed remarkably stable as traders ignored new value-relevant information

and continued to rely on their initial estimates. This is... That has huge implications on the stock market. If these investors, right, they believe in a drug or they believe in a product, they're going to push it through to the bitter end. Sure.

And part of it has to do with another cognitive bias called escalation commitment, which refers to the phenomenon of investors rationalizing the bad decisions and investments in spite of increasingly negative outcomes. It's related to the sunk cost fallacy and has implications in business, politics, and gambling, and it's also called the irrational escalation phenomenon.

Yeah. Huge problem. This phenomenon that was also seen in the U.S., The U.S.'s involvement in Vietnam through the 60s and 70s. We spent so much money and blood and tears and sweat in Vietnam. We watched our buddies die face down in the mud. Face down in the mud. Yeah.

Yeah. Unmarked grades. At Lodi and Haydok. You're not wrong, Walter. You're just an asshole. Yeah, I get what you're saying. I think that some of this comes from like a human trait that is good. wherein you just can't give up.

Like the idea that it's going to turn around at the last minute, you know, you could say that I get in the long run, maybe this shows that confirmation bias is bad. I don't know. I don't know if you're bringing in those stats or not. But certainly achieving something great takes a tremendous amount of dedication in the face of adversity. That's the point I'm trying to make.

And that drive that makes tremendous things, you know, the drive that you could credit for shit, like setting off on huge explorations, like finding the country, going to the moon, all this great shit that we've ever done, maybe comes from the same place a little bit, I think. The idea of, you know what, despite what I see in front of me,

I have faith that this is going to get better, I'm going to keep doing it. Do you think a little bit? This is two sides of the same coin. And don't you fucking dare say no in like two seconds like you always do? No, I... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

No, I think that, that confirmation. So here's the thing, Dick, you mentioned something that confirmation bias can work to your advantage sometimes. There's optimistic and pessimistic

confirmation bias. This actually dovetails perfectly into this next source. This is from a book called Ethics and the Global Financial Crisis. What was the first word? Ethics. Yeah, I know you don't know what that is, Dick. You don't know ethics or empathy or any kind of...

Anyway, you don't know ethics or empathy. The research on judgment aggregation makes abundantly clear that the order in which boards or other bodies deal with a particular item on the agenda radically influences the ultimate decision. So this is a type of confirmation bias. They talk about optimistic and pessimistic confirmation bias in this chapter. And they found there's research that shows that merely presenting, the order in which you present information changes the outcome.

Yeah. Because whatever information you hear first, you're more likely to believe than any information that comes after, even if they're weighed equally. Yeah. And rhyming it. Riming it helps too. Riving it.

Even if it rhymes stupid. That actually may be the case because in the OJ Simpson trial, what's his name? Doesn't fit. You must acquit. I was just going to say, but the opening,

his plea was absolutely 100% not guilty. What do you mean? That was powerful. That's what he said. And that was Johnny Cochran. Yes. Instead of not guilty,

he was very adamant about not being guilty. And that was a, you know, you think back to that, that's a pretty heavy statement. It's like, who would lie about that if you, you know, gild the lily to that extent. It's true.

Yeah, that is a lot of gilding on that lily. Fuck you. Fuck you, John. Make Maddox frown, vote this problem down. Fuck you, dick. Eat shit. Did you try to push the buzzer? No, I didn't.

I was thinking about it. Real quick, though, Randy interjected with some information about the female inventors. Wikipedia page, it actually didn't exist until 2012. Oh, okay. relatively recent phenomenon. Okay. For six years in between the time that I wrote that, no, what was that? Your book?

Eight years. Eight years it took, when I was doing research for the alphabet of manliness, there was no female inventors of Wikipedia page. Huh. Yeah. So women figured out how to use Wikipedia in that time. Yeah. Dangerous.

Dangerous signs. Signs ahead. So the German parliament in 1991 changed the order of proceedings during the vote that determined the future capital of unified Germany and the outcome of which city got funded. changed depending on the order that they presented it in. Research in psychology has shown that, moreover, that the mere order in which one receives information influences the beliefs one ultimately forms, the effect is an interplay of confirmation bias and the sunk cost fallacy and other phenomenon. So suppose that I'm neutral with

respect to whether a product should be marketed and that I receive optimistic information concerning the product, then I am on the whole more likely to disregard negative information about that product. Sure. That's confirmation bias? That's confirmation bias. Because you heard the first one first? Yes. Oh, all right. And that's why it's notoriously difficult to get people to stop using the fucking iPhone even though it's a garbage phone.

Today, to date, objectively, it's a garbage phone. The battery doesn't last long. It overheats. There's a lot of features that's missing from it. It's an outdated phone and they're still playing catch-up with other phones on the market. Yeah, but cool people use it. No, no cool people use iPhones. Movie stars. Zero.

Zero. You like movie stars? Well, they use them. They're not cool. They're talking about them. Yeah. Musicians are talking about iPhones. They're not talking about Android's, please.

No, that's not true. I'm doing a jerk off motion. Yeah, I know you're... I'm explaining to the people at home. No, cool people use Nokia's. Nokea's synonymous. Survey says? Yeah.

No key is the coolest. Is that your problem? It's a pretty good problem. Anyway, man. Yeah, confirmation. bias, huge problem, and it affects us all, especially when you're arguing with people online.

I got a real, I got a real important problem, but I mean, I don't have the time for it. Let's get to it. It's called burning your mouth on hot food. Oh, yeah? Food that's too hot. Too hot of food to burn your mouth on? Yeah, another incompetence problem.

What do you mean incompetence? It's a problem of incompetence. Maddox, who can resist the hot pizza? You think that's incompetent? You just wait, you just wait like 30. seconds. But then it's too cold and it's disgusting. You could have had it when it was perfect and melty and cheesy. Is it perfect or is it too hot? That's the risk you take. You have to bite because you don't know until the top of your mouth melts off whether it was too hot or not. Because you can touch it with your fingers, but that's

different skin. Like there's no, science has no way to tell you that either, or the soup, is that better for you? The soup might be too hot. The coffee, the tea might be too hot. The coffee might be too hot? Dick, it's never a problem. You take a spoonful of soup and you blow on it until you blow on it until you feel like it's too much. And then you put in your mouth and see the temperature. Burned. And then blow it a little bit less next time and a little bit less until you get just the right temperature. Madag you've already burned your mouth. As soon as you put it in your mouth, it's burned. I never burn my mouth. But I got an explanation from a dentist why that's the case. It's because it's because the skin, the, the masticatory mucus

is keratinized, stratified squamous epithelium, and it's only a couple millimeters in thickness. So it burns very easily. That's what hangs off the roof of your mouth when you burn your mouth. It's disgusting. Crystal clear. And then you're stuck. You can't escape it.

You can't escape it for a week. It takes like a week to heal, and it's in there ding and dangling around. Yeah, so just don't be a dumb shit and burn your mouth. Okay. Don't be a dumb shit. Don't be a dumb shit. Don't be a dumb shit and be a confirmation bias.

Like, don't be a dumb shit and just look at all opinions equally. What's the difference? Don't be a dumb shit and stay on the computer until you're dead. No. No. Don't be a jump stick and jam a cue tip all the way into your brain. Is this a big problem, Dick? Are millions of people just burning their mouths because they're idiots

and they put food in their mouths too quickly? Billions. Billions. Or people are burning their mouths because they put food in their mouths too quickly. Yeah. Not raw, not the raw diet idiots. Those blow hards. Here's some solutions for if you burn your mouth.

Okay. Some ice? Yeah. What's the point of that? It's too late. I already burned my mouth. I don't have suck on a bunch of ice. Yeah, and also, ice makes your mouth feel even worse sometimes because it's too cold.

Yeah. It's much too cold. You're making it worse. And it's still going to be in there for a week being raw and shitty. Drink milk, this Dennis says. That's true. What am I, a baby? Drinking milk over here?

You drink it with a nice beverage. Gargle with salt water. No one's doing that. Then it's always say to gargle with salt water. No one ever does it. Yeah, I've done that before. When you have toothaches, it sometimes helps. That's like a cartoon.

A toothache? Yeah. Gargling some salt water? Yeah. No, it helps with that. Oh, I got to mention. This problem was sent in by... Known as the Pro.

Sent me that one. Known as the Pro. These fucking names. All right, that's my problem. Let's wrap it up. You got anything else, Dick? No, I don't think I really need to sell this one. Everybody knows that a hot pie, put a hot pie in your mouth,

burned it, gone. You mean like a hot pocket type thing? Hot, oh my God, all the worst of these. Yeah, hot pockets. You know, it's a, yeah, hot pockets are the worst offenders when it comes to burning your mouth. That's something you can't really tell the temperature and tell you buy it into it. Thank you.

Yeah. Thank you for giving me that at least. I'll give you that. You prick. I mean, what's, what's the worst you've ever burnt in your mouth? That's why my face is so small I burnt the whole thing off I had to get a face transplant

All right, Nick Good job, big problem It's a big problem It's obviously a big problem How many, look, are you more at risk of getting your mouth burned on hot food or by getting addicted to the internet? Internet. I'm never going to play World Warcraft

Never But you're addicted to Facebook I never go on Facebook Never Okay, I don't know what you're addicted to dick Liquor and drugs. What do you mean you don't know what I'm addicted to? Okay, I think that the internet addiction,

look, burning your mouth is a minor inconvenience. I don't think anyone's ever died from burning their mouths, and if they have, it's probably on the order of tens of people. But internet addiction is something that they now have to address in rehabilitation. Am I really defending this? Do we have to argue this point? I think you're wrong. I think burning your mouth is way bigger problem than some people in China getting addicted to the internet.

Yeah. Great. We'll see how the idiots vote this time. Go ahead and punish me punitively. Vote for Dick's problem. I don't give a shit. You guys are all morons. I've already written you off,

especially with that whole break fiasco. You guys are all idiots. Morons. Dipson. Send Maddick South, vote for burning your mouth. Yeah. Go fuck yourself, Dick. Go fuck yourself well.

I did it right. Yeah, I did right. Good enough. I don't give a shit. Okay. Oh my God. I got the most... Okay, I'm just going to play this.

It's the most interesting thing. This guy... made a Markov, Brent Moran, results of drinking and programming, made with Markov processes run on transcripts of the show, simulating Maddox's speech patterns. He simulated your speech using Markov process. That's the predictive...

Okay. You're calling someone a nerd? Well, he predicted that, I'm sure, in his Markov model. Let's see what he's got. So this, for the people who don't know, this is a predictive text based on what Maddox has said on the show. Let's hear it. Okay?

Here is the, I have two. Here is the first one. Hi, I'm Virtual Maddox. This is how I talk. Okay, but there are pedophiles out there. People get busted for, you know, child porn and being attracted to kids all the time. They buy shows, and this is something that iPhone users cannot see to be cause. They love John Stewart so much and say, oh, I won, I earned this. Cause I didn't. You didn't. That's true. If you benefit from nepotism, you didn't turn your credit. That's what Nick Cage has done. That's what Sophia Coppola has done. That sounded like you.

That was three pretty big U-Isms. Yeah, well, he mentioned three of my problems I brought in. I don't know. You're talking about those all the time. I've never mentioned Nick Cage on the show or Sophia Coppola. What are talking about? You probably did on the nepotism problem. These are from all transcripts of the show he ran this on.

Yeah, you definitely did. I can remember that conversation. There you go. Look, I don't give a shit. Shut up, Sean. There you go. Tarty your little jazz. Citation needed.

I don't. And also, one other thing, I don't think I start a sentence. If I'm going to make a point, I don't say, you know, that's more of a dickism, I think. I don't say you know. You say, you know, and you also say, that's my point. You say that a lot. I say that, sure. And then you say, all I'm saying is, and then you say, all I'm saying is, and then you

repeat yourself. That's your dickism. Does he have a Markov model for you? No, no one cares how. Hi, I'm Virtual Maddox. This is how I talk. A vinyl moron. Between every beat of a song, there is silence, right? Well, there is a reason that was 11, and that's because there were 11 tracks on the U2 album. Yeah. Well, I'm not saying CEOs shouldn't make any money, but this is a huge big deal.

Talking about CEOs. Right, of course. Right. Yeah. Okay. Well, because it's costing. them 8.5 million to clean up. So that's without the ban. It's costing them almost nothing in fuel. Right. Because unless this bag weighs more than like two zero 30 pounds, which most of them like a little carry on, they're starting to create a no technology that you add. It is exactly like listening to you. Yeah. Fuck you, Dick. There's a lot more, but I'll put it on the website. All that guy did was just take quotes of mine. Of course it sounds like me. They're direct quotes of mine. Look, I don't know. I don't know how he established his processes or whatever. Maybe he can explain it. He just took

sentences that I've said and then put them and strung them together. I remember some of those quotes verbatim. You're calling him a fraud? I don't know what the point of the experiment is. If you're trying to mimic someone's speech patterns, it's pretty easy to do if you listen to a couple of their sentences. Because they, especially what's important to me, what's interesting to me about that is the cadence and rhythm with which someone talks. You, Dick, have a much slower cadence than I do. Yeah, and I'm thinking a lot.

What else? You got anything? No. Garbage. Garbage model, garbage. Garbage listeners. Well, sorry.