The Biggest Problem in the Universe: Uncucked - Episode 94

Episode Date: June 21, 2018

Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe, the show where we discuss every problem in the universe from Dirty Boxers to the Oscars. With over 5 million downloads. This is the only show where you decide what shoot or shouldn't be on the big list of problems. I'm Maddox with me as Dick. Hey, what's up, buddy? And Sean, our audio engineer, and joining us again is Astros. Welcome back, gentlemen.

Thanks for having me. Yeah, episode 94. We've never done the Oscars, have we? No. No. We did Being Black, though. Yeah. I mean, we basically covered everything that's wrong with the Oscars.

We got... and their offensive racism, how dare they not celebrate black people for making stupid movies? How dare they leave out minorities for making a bunch of pretend horse shit that no one should care about? Dick, you were so close.

You were so close to... Nice little statue. Not enough black people got this worthless statue of a gold butt plug. Fuck you. Yeah, you came asymptotically close to having any kind of empathy in that last episode of the problem

of being black and then just blew it all blew it all in the intro. Man, fuck people in their awards. Fuck your awards. Who cares? I could go on a rant about the Oscars. The Oscars so white. All this horse shit. Yeah. I'm sorry there weren't more African Americans in The Revenant.

In the 1830s. I'm sorry, this movie about this period piece where they're... I'm sorry, there weren't more black people in the Danish girl. The Danish girl. Yeah. I'm sorry, guys. And you know what? Look at the number. Look at the statistics.

The number of black people who've won Oscars is 17% higher than the percentage of black people in our population. What are you complaining about? Oh, yeah, we went two years in a row without black people's black people winning Oscars. Holy shit. Let's let's fucking end everything. It's a fucking clan rally up in the Oscars. Yeah. How many Armenians have won Oscars?

Zero. Zero. Where's the rally? Where's the rally? I mean, it's an entire industry that's built on and it's all. only function is to get attention for itself, right? All movies are designed to capture your attention. The entire industry is built on getting your attention and they're complaining about something. Why does anyone take it seriously? That's all, that's literally all they do. Well, it's the

industry giving itself awards. Yeah, yeah. Well, all right, fuck the Oscars, obviously, no matter what. Yeah. Like, but I mean, come on, don't you guys think that we deserve like more awesome black characters and movies, like more awesome black heroes. I think about like a little kid in the 80s, like going to the movies. I think about like a little black kid going to the movies in the 80s and like all of the best heroes

and all the coolest dudes are white. Which is why I was like super into the new Star Wars movie because it like has a really cool, really funny black guy as the lead. You thought he was funny? Yeah, you didn't think he was funny? I thought he was a dead fish. Well, you hated the entire movie.

Exactly. Look, he could have been showing. easy you would have hated the guy. He had good chemistry with the lead. I guess. I thought it was small for the screen. I don't think he was a hero. I didn't buy him as being big enough and I don't think you care about him enough.

Let me say this on, sorry, go go ahead. I'll add it afterwards. Okay, I just want to say, look, man, ideally yes, we would have representation. I like the voice you're using. We have it. We have ideally, we have. I know, I know. It's like you're making the jerk off

hand with your voice. That's what I'm doing. I know that's what you're doing. Right in everyone's ears right now. But listen, man. Just like, excuse him. Name your fit. Let me finish this point. Let me finish this point.

Ideally, we would have representation, okay? We have, every movie has one trans person and like three gay guys and like, you know, 13 black guys. Like, ideally. And the white guy's the bad guy. He's a rich. And they're all Donald Trump. It's just a white man playing Donald Trump and he's the bad guy in every movie. Always.

With a British accent. Yes, with a British accent. You have to have the British accent for the villain, the white villain. Look, look, guys, no one's arguing against that. I don't, I want, I want my film and I want my media sometimes to represent real life, right? Sometimes. But here's the reality of the situation. These people are in show business.

These people, man, these people! I'm talking about the producers, the studios, they are in business to make money. They're not going to cast some Joe Schmoe just to, like, like fill a quota, some imaginary quota. They want to make dollars. And they know Christian Bale can bring a return on their investment. That's all they care about. This has nothing to do with race, nothing to do with gender, nothing to do with sexuality.

It's just investors putting money into a project that they want to see a return on. Period. That's it. They don't give a fuck about race or anything else. They're just looking to make money. That's why Tyler Perry exists. He's just never going to win any Oscars. He's making tons of money.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. Look, let me say this. You're talking about growing up being a kid and seeing a black hero. Okay, first of all, one of the greatest black heroes ever that you're overlooking is Zeke from No Holds Bard. Oh, I thought you were going to say Shaft. I mean, what gets better than that? That guy was a behemoth.

He beat the hell out of Hulk Hogan. It doesn't get any more powerful than that. Didn't Hulk Hogan win in the end? Doesn't matter. Of course it matters. It doesn't matter. I'm just, look, I don't think that there, I don't think you, like, I don't think when you make a movie, you should pull out a checklist and be like, do we have a this? Do we have a that? Do we have a this? But it's like, I don't know. I just think that in general, like, name some of the coolest black movie heroes you can think of right now. Shaft. Okay, keep going. Samuel Jackson.

In what? In fiction. In anything. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Keep going. Olly G That's a white guy Pretending to be black Look I can think of Axel F Axel Foley And Ving Rames in what In Don of the Dead

Okay what's the character In Predator What about in Predator? Yeah Okay What's that character's name? I don't remember In what?

Predator? Yeah It's Dylan Dylan You son of a beach I'm asking You son of a beach I'm asking you guys

Everyone knows what his name is It's scary else Now let's name our favorite White heroes In New Jersey I can't think of one He's not a single white guy. No, no, no, no, not a single white.

Really? You can't think of a single white hero? The guy from Guardians in the Galaxy. No, he's not white. The guy, the white guy? He's the Appalachian American, please. All right. You got any comments?

How'd we do? How'd we do? Speaking of, speaking of checklists. Speaking of black people getting the shaft. Biggest problem in the universe from last week was being black. All right. There we go. Big problem.

As we proved it at the intro to this show, completely destroyed the goodwill we built. Not a huge problem. problem, though. No. It didn't out. Yeah, in the medium range of problems. Followed by Google Delegators.

Yeah. And then Wallets got trounced. Nobody thought Wallets was a problem, apparently. In fact, you guys think it's a solution, so fuck you. Yeah. It's literally a solution. To what? What problem?

Having a bunch of, like, loose money and cards and shit in your pockets like a child. I love. You're pulling out like a slingshot and marbles when you go to the bar. Like, it's just a nice little compact thing. I know. to keep all of your important documents and cash. Call it a purse. I lost my idea last night because I didn't bring my wallet with me.

I was going dancing last night and I was like, I don't want to have a big, thick wallet. That sounds like a horror. What were you dancing? What were you doing? What are you talking about? You guys don't, I went to like a club. I went to go dancing. Really?

What are you going to do the discotheque? Why are you guys treating me like I'm an asshole for doing something that people have been doing for for hundreds of years? You live in Los Angeles. Do you know how many? You can throw a rock and hit a bar. where there's dancing right now, just because you guys don't dance,

don't get... Are you the one that starts the dancing at weddings? No, no, don't change the subject. We're not changing the subject. We're not changing the subject. Did you go to, like, a disco? I went, it was, uh, I went to the Echo Plex. Okay.

Okay. To dance. That place is cool. To go dance with some ladies. I've seen you both dancing at weddings. Yeah, but we have a genetic defect. We're, I'm Mexican, is Middle Eastern, and we need to dance. You guys, I'm Greek. What do you think we do all day?

fucking dance around in the circle. We break plates. Anyway, long story short, I didn't bring my wallet because I was like, I don't want to have this big fucking thing in my pocket. And, yeah, I lost my idea, and I have a flight on Tuesday. And so now I have to, like, run down to the DMV tomorrow and be like, can you please just give me a fucking driver's license

so I can go on this goddamn airplane. Say it like that. See what you get. You don't have a passport. You agree. You have a passport. My passport's expired. Oh, yeah.

So, while. It would have been a big solution to you. That's what I'm saying. It would have been nice to have a while. I was an asshole. This is what I was saying. Like, I agree with all of your academic points about how wallets are bad. But in practice, we have a man here who's just lost his ID and is now fucked.

Wait a second, Esther. You lost just your ID. I'm more concerned about him dancing. What do you mean more concerned about it? What are with you people? You lost just your, you lost your ID, right? I lost my ID, $21 and a debit card. And a debit card.

Yeah, because I wrapped them all up and shoved him to my pocket. Oh, that's a wall. That's exactly the point I was saying that you should avoid having a wallet for it because you'll lose everything in one shot. I never lose everything. In fact, I never lose anything. Okay. Maybe you don't dance as hard as a serious. That's your problem.

Hey, guys, you just stand there sticking your fingers up in the air like you're trying to pull tinsel off the ceiling. That's not how I dance. I dance like a breakdancing. I dance like a breakdancing badass. That's how I dance. Shit really flies out of your pocket when you're doing the worm. Yeah, Sean. And as cool as shit, I get laid like a motherfucker.

By the floor. I got some comments. John, uh, John Costanzo. Congrats guys on almost, on almost making it 100 episodes without saying the N-word. Oh, pretty good. Better look next time. Tom Lund, a black guy said it. Uh, that's racist.

Yeah, you're racist on. Did you hear what I said the last episode? Tom Lund. I got all the red cards. Tom Lund says Maddox's problem was basically a life hack. You'll never carry a wall. it again after you do this. Wasn't kind of a life hack?

No, it wasn't. I guess. I don't know. I mean, look, here's the thing. Before life hacks were a thing, these were just like, hey guys, I got a good idea. Here's the thing I do, and it's pretty awesome, and it solves this problem. Now everything's a fucking life hack with a stupid clickbait title. Okay. Pisses me off. Everything's ruined.

I got a comment from Gina C.M. She says, Denzel sounds like a smooth black Kermit the Frog. I saw that too. Does he? Do you sound like Kermit the Frog? Um, nah. Like, hey, Miss, Hey, Miss Piggy. Hey.

Bring that bacon over here. Does he sound like that? That is the worst Kermit I've ever got. Yeah, but he's a black Kermit. Oh, that's the best black Kermit. Um, Hey, just a real quick conclusion. A couple episodes back, I brought in crickets as a problem,

which you guys have no idea how much this fucking cricket has been tormenting me. Finally came to an exciting conclusion. I caught the fucker. And I may or may not have eaten it. I made a YouTube video about it. So it's finally, I finally caught the cricket that was tormenting me. Oh, man, this is, this is the state of creation on the internet. A man eating a cricket.

May or may not have eaten a cricket. It's right to find out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why am I shitting on the Oscars? At least they're trying to elevate. You making videos of maybe or may not eating crickets. I should get an Oscar. I should get all the Oscars.

Look, Leonardo DiCaprio didn't actually. get raped by that bear. He actually ate the cricket. I think your video is better than the revenant. Maybe. Yeah, I actually suffered. Leonardo DiCaprio ate crafty every day in between for his lunch breaks.

I ate a fucking dead insect. Yeah. Maybe, potentially. Better than the Oscars. Allegedly. Crafty. Perhaps. Crafty.

So inside. Such an inside. It's some crafty. I got some voicemails here. You know, we bring in a problem like being black and what are all the voicemails about being white. Wallets. Oh what?

All my wallets here. Hi guys, I'm Maddox and this is how I talk. No. Don't bring a wallet with you. It's too bulky. It takes up too much room. Instead, bring three fucking wallets with you. In case you get

mudged three fucking times. It's way more convenient. Stupid stupid redneck son of a bitch. You dumb shit. Listen, first of all, Denzel's like,

well, what if you get mugged a third time or a fourth time? It's like, hey, Danzel, what if you get mugged once? Then you still don't have a wallet.

And if you get mugged again in between the time it takes for you to get home, then you're out of fucking luck. What can I say? I don't know, man. I bring a fake wallet with me sometimes if I'm going to dangerous areas.

That's it. I don't walk around with like multiple fake wallets on me, you morons. It's like, you only bring it when you need it. It's like an umbrella. Does your fake wallet have, like, fake money in it that's just like you...

Like a joke? Like you holding up a dick at the viewer that's like, you got fucked with these Maddox bucks. Holy shit. That is... Brilliant. I'm going to stop putting real money in there and start putting fake money in there. You should put a single dollar bill in the front and then the rest of it should be Maddox bucks. Maddox bucks.

It has, like, pictures of other people's families in it. I actually... that those Maddox bucks costs more to print than the money. I would not put fast to you. Don't forget about the sunk time. Yeah, I'm going to put Mad bucks in there. That's awesome. Hey guys, Maddox paid a lot of good points in regards to the whole wallet situation.

Thank you. You know, they can't be bulky and all that. But what we forgot to mention was how much of a fucking child you look like when you go to a car and pull a pocket of loose shit out. You don't. You're trying to be a fumbling around for that right card. Or if you have cash, just a pocket of change and cash like a fucking I don't carry change it.

You know what we're expecting for a week? When I'm not going to the bar and I told my $160 Georgio Armani wallet trade from Italy. Whoa, fancy. I love that. Some brand dropping there. Oh, yeah, chicks love that. Whoa, is it a Georgio Armani?

Wait a minute. Are you saying that chicks don't act like that and don't love that? Because they definitely do. They do, but they're not going to know shit about a wallet. Yeah, they're not going to recognize that in a wallet. But if it says Georgia Armani on it, see, brands exist. I thought wallets were purses. Chicks know everything.

about purses. And they know everything about brands. Brands exist so that chicks know you've got money. Yep. No, here's the thing. If you need to rely on your flashy bullshit to get laid, which I do. Yeah, which everyone does. Don't act like you're above it. You wear t-shirts with your own face to show how famous you are. Pretty cool. Pretty cool. You're like, save a Flav with a copy of your book on a necklace at all times that says bestseller, me. Yeah, I do have that. I do. To be fair, you know, to your credit, point to dick I do actually have that okay here's

this is a serious a serious voicemail this is going back to the black problem very serious one it really touched me sounds like it you um

so I'm just adding to a problem that Denzel was talking about about being black so I have this problem I'll say being black but having an average size dick

huh you know so you know I like to fuck white women and everything but yeah I mean everyone does

they're the best white women like I guess they expect that you have some like 10 11 inch fucking

hockey puck dick dick and then then they see it oh so yeah this fucking six inch

fucking tall paper roll And I'm like, bitch. Like, if you expect that shit, from seeing all the fucking porn and shit, and I've been seeing roots and shit, I guess. It's like being the fucking Asian kids. Is that part of it?

Yeah, there's a very graphic sexy. Can you hit me with his cactus and you're like, Did it win an Oscar? It won Emmys, multiple Emmys. Oh, okay. Yeah. Well, I love the podcast. Just heard of it two weeks ago.

It's funny and shit. I like it. All right. you know, I yon and shit. There you go. More perspective from the other side. Yeah. Not all stereotypes are true, people. I mean, imagine that. Imagine what you're taking your underpants off

and the chick's expecting you to have, as he says, a hockey puck, a 10-inch hockey puck swinging between your legs, and you've got a merely an above-average-sized penis. That's a very stubby dick if you have a hockey puck dick. It's very stubby. He was describing the circumference, though. Yeah, if you've pulled it up like a snake, That's what he was describing.

People use like a Coke can as more of a thing for a circumference. I've heard Coke can before. I've heard tube of toothpaste. You don't know how the African-American community works, and it's sort of offensive for you to assume you do. Sorry, sorry if we're making presumptions about how they describe their cocks. Don't you think what he should be worried about is her digging through her purse for a can of mace instead of his dick? Oh, my gosh.

I want the red card. Jesus Christ. You weren't here. All right, I got one more voicemail. from a friend of the show. Yo, Maydorf. Fuck, Tim Chang. I heard what you said, man.

You said I'm not a real DJ? No. Come on, fan, why you gotta say that? Not your family. I don't know that anymore. I am a real DJ. Wrong. Have you heard this before?

Tim Chang. It's all he's got. Why do this to me? I'm your friend. If you and I are going to have beef, then you better bring the broccoli. What? because beef and broccoli, dope as fuck.

What am I going to bring? I'm going to bring a problem. That's right to your podcast. No. My problem is why. Why made off? Pauses. Why you stop being my friend?

Oh. Tim, Tim Chang's horseshit, which, by the way, he just posted a video. He stole some footage from me. He didn't get my permission. He came over to my house and knocked on my door like ambush style. Like, hey, Maddox, or he calls me Madoff because he doesn't even understand

names. And he just stole some footage from me and put it in some video with me and Tom Midditch. Middle ditch? Middle ditch? Middle ditch? Yeah. Oh, the guy from Silicon Valley. Yeah. Yeah. Total bullshit. I don't know. All right, I got a bunch of songs, but we'll

listen to him later. Do we want to start with some problems? Let's do it. Dick, why don't you start us off? Yeah. My problem is adults. living with their parents. Okay. Well, hold on. So is this... Oh, you disagree already. Okay. No, but is this code for millennials?

What do you mean code for millennials? Because this is a problem... Wait, what do you mean code? Let's... I'm sorry. Let's just hear what you want, what you got to say. Do you have a problem with that? I don't know. This has been happening a lot. Yeah, here's the problem. Well, hold on here. First of all, the stats that you might bring in,

or wrong. Well, to be fair, he did let you speak for three seconds. It's pretty good. Should time it. I'm just going to show you a graph here. This is the percentage of 18 to 34-year-olds living with their parents. So this is a graph from 1994 to presently. That's a worrisome graph. You'll see that it climbs pretty steadily from 27% down in the 2005s to 32% now. One out of three adults, 18 to 35, 18 to 34, is now living with their parents. Yeah, and that actually, and that actually is, I mean, and that's an American graph. I mean, globally, it's a big problem too. Like, you know, there are certain countries where you don't move out of your parents' house until you get married.

But yeah, but that's a cultural thing. Yeah, but it's also a huge fucking problem. That's a wrong culture then. That's a big problem with that. Yeah, like I dated a girl a long time ago who, was Iranian and she was like, I have to get married so I can move out of my parents' house. And I was like,

oh, I don't want to get married. And she was like, well, then we can date for a little while, but this can't be a long-term thing because I have to get out of my parents' house. And I was like, well, why don't you move out of your parents' house? She's got to get married first. Exactly. Yeah. That was one of the reasons that I found why people aren't living

outside of their parents' house because marriage rates are on the decline. So it's just, yeah, the getting married of, you can't live at your parents' house when you're married, can you? Can you? I don't know. I don't know how people live at their parents' house at all. Yeah. No, they do. It depends. It's like Sean was saying, it's cultural. Like in Middle Eastern, a lot of Middle Eastern countries, even in Germany, I think. The Philippines. In Italy. Yeah, there's a lot of them. There's a lot of them.

Yeah. Italy is 80% of young adults. 80% of young adults live with their parents. Greece, 46%. One out of two. So every, you go on, chick goes on a date. with a guy, there's a coin flip chance that he lives with his parents? Or opposite, dude goes out of date with a chick. He weren't, what are you going to go back to her parents' house to fuck her? It's impossible. Now, Dick, do the years

on that graph coincide with these nuts? That's what they coincide with. Do they coincide with the recession? So they, they they rise, well, they start rising dramatically in 2006. And then after the recession subsides, they don't go back down.

So I think it's got a lot more to, it more than just the recession to do with it. Like, I think it's a big cultural shift like you're talking about. Also, but in America. Well, in America. In America, yeah. The college degree means a lot less than it did like 10 or 15 years ago, don't I think? That's true.

It's kind of raised a bar. Like, college, a four-year degree is now like the new graduating from high school. Right. So, Dick, this thing that's, this phenomenon that's occurring, I don't really count Greece and Italy and the Mediterranean and all these other countries. Neither does the world. For them, it's cultural, and it's something that's been long and great. I don't think you're going to find the same type of spike in the number of people who are living at home in these other countries,

because it's always been that way. But what's interesting is this phenomenon that's occurring in America specifically, and the age range you said is 18 to 34. That is millennials. That is the millennial age. And that's one common criticism that millennials get. That's why I asked at the top of this problem, are you talking about millennials just so I have a better frame of reference. Why do you think the culture matters? Yeah, because I think that does.

Me too. I think it's a cultural shift happening in the U.S., making it more like these other cultures, which I've got a problem with. Well, if it's a cultural shift, then I don't have a problem with it because it's just part of our culture. And cultures are largely arbitrary. They're based on tradition and a bunch of a weird horse shit that got passed down from generation to generation. Yeah, but tradition sucks, though. We hate all sorts of traditions. We hate female genital mutilation.

We hate countries where women have to go out dressed up in a fucking garbage bag. Like because if someone sees their face, they might go to hell. Like, there's, we like, we hate plenty of other cultures. Like, we find them to be oppressive. We don't, you know, China is an oppressive anti-democratic regime. We don't like that. Like, um, the idea that you can be 35 in Italy and you're still living with your parents. 50-50.

Yeah. Or not, I'm sorry, 70. Yeah, 80%. It's 80, 20. I mean, the idea that you're like, you're a 35-year-old guy living in Italy with your mom and dad and you're desperate to get married just so you can get the fuck out of there. So you have to dive. head first into some loveless marriage to get out of your pay.

It's just, it's a huge bummer. Well, it's serious, but you're, this is your cultural imperialism here, because you're basing this. That's all to show it? Oh, I'm sorry, cut you off. You're basing this on your perspective based on your American culture. Like, the only reason we here sitting in the studio think that this is kind of weird is because we're not used to it.

To the rest of the world, it's very commonplace. I don't think it's a cultural shift in America because that graph is really severe over a short number of years. I don't think culture changes that quickly. Well, this graph is also stretched out so it looks severe. Well, 2006, it's only been 10 years. I guess over the course of the decade. It's an entire generation.

Yeah. It's an entire generation that are living with their parents with, I mean, what are we going to say here? 5% more frequency? That's big. Because if it keeps going like that, we'll be Italy in 2100. You know, where all these kids are living at home. Because they've got student debt up to their ass. Oh, yeah.

How can they justify living in an apartment when you can just live at home and chew away at an indigestably sized student debt, student loan? Yeah. But it has like a profound effect on your independence and quality. How are you going to bang the shit out of a chick at your parents' house? You can't. You can't. Did you see old school with Will Ferrell? I did. Why?

Well, because he lives in his mom's basement and he just kills it. I don't remember that movie. Yeah, he crushes that. No, he literally yells for meatloaf. Oh, shit. Oh, like somebody else we get in. Whatever,

you know what the fuck I was talking about. Well, like, I mean, here's what I have to say about it. It does seem like this is sort of like a bifurcated problem,

but I just think that they're both bad. It's like, well, if you think about it, all right, in Europe, perhaps the reason you stay with your parents until whenever

is economic. You know, like in Europe, the government takes a large chunk of your taxes in, like, you know, and the tradeoff is you get a more robust

social safety net. You know, I, I think in Sweden, you have a guaranteed income of $21,000 a year. As a result, the government takes 75% of your taxes at least, but it's like, you know, and a car costs 150% more. Everything's a fortune there. And yeah, going on to dinner in Sweden costs a million goddamn dollars.

But here's the thing. In America, now, like, you know, thanks to income inequality, we are also all making a shitload less money, only our safety net is not good. So like we're getting the worst thing about Europe, which is like we're all making less and our money doesn't go as far as it otherwise might. But we don't have the benefit, which is like, well, we can still die on the street or starve to death. Like, or, you know, we have to go to the emergency for all our fucking care. Right. So I guess I guess the, I don't know what the problem is because there's a false equivalency between female genital mutilation, which is a culturally abhorrent practice and living at home.

One mutilates your vagina and makes you have no sexual sensation. The other one is kind of annoying when you want to bring home a date. So you'd rather live at home than have your vagina mutilated? Not me. I would way rather have my vagina mutilated than live at home. So Dick, what's the problem? What do you mean what's the problem? What's the problem with people living at home?

It sucks. And I'm not challenging. It's the extension of being a child. Infantilism. When I go home, when I go home, I love my mom. I love my parents, and they're awesome. Being at home for me is like a vacation that no one else in L.A. has, which I think is why everyone in L.A. is such a crazy asshole.

Because they're stuck here in this hotbox of other crazy assholes. Not me. Let's be more normal like Dick. Let's all try to be more normalized like Dick, because you're definitely not a crazy asshole. You should be so lucky. So I go home and have a little R&R bed and breakfast vacation. But still, when I get there, part of my brain reversed. to when I was like 13 years old.

And that's bad. That's bad. All these kids are now hopping out of college, going back to live with mom and dad until they're like 30, which is, I'll tell you something else. As you're as a young adult, your brain is developing from, I think it's what, it's white matter to gray matter, whatever it is. When the mile closes, it's like age 24 or something.

Yeah, as you approach 30, it's still, you're still learning. You're still habituating your experiences and it's closing up and it's closing up By the time of you're 30, you're set. That's it for the rest of your life. You think you're going to change? You're going to hit 50 and go on some... You think you're going to lose weight at 45? You're not.

If you didn't lose it at 30, you're done. That's your body for the rest of your life. So, all of these kids are remaining teenagers forever. They're going to be 80. And because they grew up with mom and dad until they're 30, they're going to be thinking like their teenagers still. You know, Dick, so when I ask you what the problem is, I'm not challenging.

I'm actually just curious to hear what you think the problem because I don't think that's it. Because if this was the case, then countries like Italy and countries like Greece and all these other countries that have this phenomenon where culturally they do live at home, they'd just be a bunch of man-children their entire lives. And that's not the case at all. Have you been to Europe? I have. It's great.

So you're saying Greece would have big problems if what I'm saying is true? Greece, I mean, you know, that's an exception they have. Are you talking about their austerity? Was it Italy's prime minister caught? like fucking a bunch of horse on TV. Yeah, but wasn't our president caught getting a blowjob from an intern? I mean, we're not on tape. Not like the equivalent of Hugh Heffner's mansion.

Maddox, if you don't mind me saying like, yeah, I feel like, I feel like you could, I feel like you know why living at home is a problem. Sure. I understand, I understand you wanting to tease this out for the listener, but like, but like, just playing along for a second, like, would you rather live at home or would you rather live independently. Independently. Of course.

10 out of 10, of course. Then why, what is your, what is your deal with this then? Well, I'm curious. Why are you defending Italy, rather than like throwing these weird arguments out of it? I just want to hear a satisfying argument, because I agree with you. Well, then make one yourself. I'll tell you personally, I think that unless you are independent and unless you go out into the world, you will, you will be stilted.

You will, look, smooth seas don't make a good sailor, right? What's that expression? Yeah, and, you know, boats were made to go sailing. They weren't made to stay in harbor. A safe ship helps no one. Yeah, safe ship helps no one. A stitch in time saves nine, guys. Yeah, right?

Use the force, Luke. Mind the gap. Smooth seas, smooth seas don't make a good sailor. You need to become independent and learn the responsibility of taking care of yourself. I think that moving out is an important step in becoming an adult. And the most interesting thing you've said so far to me is the phenomenon that your brain kind of stops developing, which I don't know. I mean, if that's the case, again, why aren't countries that practice this more culturally? Why isn't that more of a phenomenon?

And is this really just the... Why is what more of a phenomenon? Just use Italy as an example. Why isn't what in Italy more of a phenomenon? Well, you're saying if you have a stunted development psychologically by living at home, I just don't see that as being the case in Italy. What the hell would you possibly measure that by? Well, um...

Like, what do you know about Italian culture or like... I know very little about being Italian. I can tell you guys one thing about Italian culture that's pretty man-childy. You can call in sick because there's a soccer game on. Yeah. And there's like a huge outbreak of people not going to work in Italy because people are like, oh, I'm sick. And there's a soccer game on. So what they had to do was start hiring doctors to go around to people's houses to make sure that they were actually sick.

Oh, sure. Yeah. Where does that come from? Maybe because 80% of them are having their laundry done by mom. Yeah, exactly. Because they're manschildren. Here's what else I know about Italy. At October Fest during Italian weekend, when all the Italians come in,

every single waitress there says tips has a button in Italian that says tips please. Because they don't fucking tip. Yeah, Italians don't tip, right. That's terrible. Well, no, because tipping is an American culture. A lot of countries don't tip. Yeah, but you should tip these big titted ladies at October Fest if no one of I know in Costa Rica, I was down there years ago, and they said, if you're going to tip,

tip a very little amount because we don't want to get them spoiled. Because American tourists go down and tip like 20%, and they're like, we don't want them to know. And they start to expect it. I don't, I think tipping is a huge problem. But yeah, so living at home, Dick, I agree. I think it can inhibit your growth in that you will not get the responsibility. Like, this is something I've dealt with personally. And one of my friends, one of my friends has a cousin who's lived at home for,

until he's like 40, 45 years old, something like that. Would you set them up with your sister, that person? No, probably not. Because he's tried to date and you can tell that there's something that hasn't fully developed there, that independence, because people who do live at home for too long, I think, can feel insecure about it. But I don't know, I mean, I haven't controlled for culture. Like, I haven't seen that to be the case in Italy with all my Italian friends and when I've gone to

visit, that's definitely not the case because it is cultural. But out here, I think because there is that stigma of living at home that it's hard to control for whether or not they are fucked up because of our culture or fucked up because they are living at home and there's something else going on. How about the parents? Can you imagine your kid? I, I floated this one by my parents. After college, after college, Sean and I lived in this giant house. We paid nothing in rent. Greatest, greatest times of our life, greatest times of my life anyway. cheap as shit, right? So that house was, we were breaking up that house.

Part of us were moving away, and I was at dinner at my parents' house, and I was just like, hey, you know, maybe I'll move back in here for a little bit after this house goes away. It's going to, you know, just because I hadn't decided where I wanted to move after that. And the look I got from my fucking dad was like, oh, well, that's definitely not going to happen. Yeah.

And what I bring in is 61%. So way more than half of parents with grown, way more than half, but not significantly more than that. Parents with grown kids at home find this experience mostly positive, according to this survey. So that's 40% of parents who are like, get these fucking kids out of my house?

Don't you think you've done enough? Like, you're old, you've got, you're 30 years old in this case, your parents are what, 50 something, and you've got these fucking kids in your house being 30? Oh my God, that's a big problem. And you feel like you failed as a parent, too. I would think so.

Yeah. Like, my parents are so disappointed in my siblings because they like, they'll come home for long stretches. Really? Yeah. So this is personal for you as well. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I mean, look, recently I went home for a couple of weeks because I was really like bummed out. I've been going through some personal issues.

And I remember after two weeks my mom was like, yeah, you got to go. Like, I know it's awesome to stay here and we make all your meals. And you can play Katamari Dom. I'm going to see till two in the morning, but she's like, you have to go out to Los Angeles where your friends are and being a... Like, she told me. And she was like, you're welcome here as long as you want, but it'll be better for you if you leave. Like, I think if you were to ask your Italian friends, would you prefer to live at home? Would you prefer to live in your own place?

I mean, maybe this is just cultural imperialism, but I think they would prefer to live at home. Like, you know, I've read plenty of articles about European living where, like, where you get quotes from these people who are just like, I want to get the fuck out. out of here. You know? I mean, but they're your friends. So, I mean, what do, what would you think they'd say? They seem very happy. They seem, they seem, they seem, uh, unaffected by their cultural upbringing in terms of,

you know, it's something like you just take for granted. Like, for example, in America, this is something that's going to sound weird to any Chinese listeners, uh, but in America, you should say it with a Chinese voice then. I will not. So, so, so what's, what's kind of weird that we kind of just take for granted? That was herrarious. Oh, gee. Grand Fritz.

What we kind of take for granted here in America is that we don't talk about income. You can't ask anyone how much they make. It's considered rude. But there's no reason. There's no law. There's no rationale for that. It's just an American thing that's part of our culture. And we just take it for granted.

Very personal. No. It's not more personal than, say, whether or not you got laid and you talk about that all the fucking time. It's not more personal than what you ate for lunch. Everything we do is personal to some extent. It's just this is one taboo that we have in our culture that we take for granted. So similarly, in Italy... Well, getting late is also very personal.

But people talk about that all the time. People don't talk about how much money they make. How much money they make is much more personal. That is how much you're worth. Well, that's your opinion. That's everybody in America's opinion. Absolutely not. According to what you're saying, because we don't talk about it.

But that's... The point is, Dick, that it's culturally arbitrary. There's no reason why... In China, that's not a taboo. It's something that everyone just talks. about. They don't consider it personal. It's just a fact of life. It's like, yeah, how much money you make? Where do you live? Anything could be a taboo. But in Italy, to answer your question, is serious. I don't get that perception from people. But Dick, back to your problem. So do you think

this is a problem with millennials? Because I keep seeing this problem pop up in articles about millennials and how they're living at home and not moving out. Do you think that's a unique problem? It's a huge problem for them. It's a bigger problem for them than it is for me. Why do you think that? A lot of reasons, I think that I think that they're, despite what the job numbers say, that they're now making more money

after the recession, that they're recovering. I don't think they really are. I think millennials are getting hit with a bunch of shitty jobs, like sub-30-hour jobs that don't make a lot. I think they're drowning in student loans. I think that baby boomers

are not retiring, forcing them to work these shit jobs with no stability. It's a big problem because it's not as easy for them to not live at home. And it makes, the worst part is it makes sense. It makes sense for them financially, which fucking sucks. That's not a position I want to see millennials in, but they're kind of stuck with it. Yeah, I mean, you know, you watch TV, you read books, like, you read comics, whatever.

It's like literally every aspect of American culture tells us, like, you grow up, you go to college and then you get your first place, you know? Like, how many TV shows are there? Like, Felicity, whatever. Like, there's a million TV shows about like a, a... bunch of young people in their early 20s living in an apartment together. Friends, one of the most popular shows of all time about a bunch of people in their early 20s living in New York and trying to make it on their own. And then like when the reality hits that there's no money out there that like you have to take this shit job because they'll just find another even more

desperate millennial if you don't. Like, you know, they don't have to give you benefits anymore. They've really got you over a fucking barrel. And like what I... Or can't give you benefits. Oh yeah, exactly. Like I graduated in 2004 with about 35. thousand dollars worth of student debt and i went to like a very expensive college i've met that's low well that's what i'm saying that's really low 10 years later i'm meeting people with 200 000 worth of student debt no that's and and it's not like they went to it's not like they went to it's not like they went to medical school they're fucking film majors with like with like you know 20 cars worth of student debt that's their fucking problem too i i look i'm not but it's like are you what an 18 year old is not

going to do something stupid like of course they are they're 18 years old college shouldn't be this expensive to begin with. They're also getting Follow Your Dreams pumped up their ass day and night. Exactly. By the culture and the media and everything. Exactly. It's terrible. Somebody told me this one time, and I think it's so accurate. He said there's nothing wrong with learning a trade.

Yeah. Like air conditioning or something. You're always going to work. It ain't glamorous, but you can make money and work steadily. As opposed to going to college, drowning in student debt, and coming out with kind of a useless degree in a lot of cases. Yeah. My dad instilled those values in me, Sean, a long time ago when I was growing up,

my dad told me that when I'm old enough to get a job, that I should get a job and do whatever it takes. And if my boss asks me what I can do, he says whatever it takes to get the job done. And that's the value that I've had all my entire life. And at my old job at the telemarketing company, the executives would consistently go to me. They would skip everyone in every department. They'd go to me to ask me to get something done because they know that regardless of what the task is, even if it's outside of my domain and outside of my department, I'll get the job done because I'm not a pass-the-buck kind of guy.

You get the work done. That's such an important thing to instill in a kid, I think. Absolutely, absolutely. You're at the work. I wish more people had this value, this virtue of just getting shit done. Adam Krola espouses this on his podcast all the time too. He says you should learn a trade. Learn how to do something.

It's not attractive to be ignorant. It's not attractive to be helpless. You need to learn how to do something. Get in there. And even if it's something you don't think you'll ever use, guess what? If you learn it, you'll enrich yourself, and somewhere down the line in your life, it may come in handy in a place and a time where you least expect it. If he lost everything and lost any entertainment endeavor that he's in,

he could go back to carpentry. Absolutely. Adam Carolla? Oh, yeah. He's a very skilled carpenter. Yeah, no, he knows it totally everything. Yeah, and he's always trying to work it into his movies and shit, too. Like, it had like an ad-lib scene where he lists a bunch of, like,

bolts and nuts. It's just like, all right, Adam, we get it. Fuck you, you know. It's like somebody always trying to cram their telemarketing job experience into a podcast. All right, that's pretty much my problem. I mean, I've got marriage declining marriage rates. And in 1986, half of parents reported that they spoke to their children once a week. Today, 67, blah, blah, blah.

Today, they say they contact their adult child almost every day. Jesus Christ. I don't know what the problem is. I know living at home with your parents. is wrong and weird. But I don't know what caused it. I don't know what caused it. Yeah, I don't know, man.

I think if people are down on their luck sometimes, it's a good alternative to being homeless. I'll give you that. It's the best alternative being homeless. I mean, look, it makes sense to stay at home because people aren't getting paid as much. It makes sense to stay at home, save up a big chunk of money, and then leave when you're in your mid-20s.

Like, there are listeners right now who are living at their parents' house, and they're in their early 20s. And if you, look, if you gave a million dollars, they would probably move out. It sucks, but it's like, it sucks that we kind of got fucked. I mean, people always say we're the first generation

that's going to be worse off than our parents. I mean, don't you guys, like, feel that in your fucking souls? No, not at all, no. I mean, not me, but, yeah, everybody else is fucked. I feel like, I feel like, regardless, I don't have the wealth and equity that my parents built for themselves and their generation. However, I feel like I do have more opportunities,

because by virtue of the fact that we have entire industries that didn't exist when they were alive, I do feel like I am more fortunate to be alive now than the baby boomer generation. I wouldn't trade what I have now for what they had back then. I like my life now and I like my technology now. I like being able to get porn on demand. You like that you can wear a shirt that says butt fuck on it outside

and everyone has to take it. You couldn't do that in the 50s, which you're doing currently. Asteris and I have a mutual friend, Dan, can we mention his name? Yeah, actionfiguretherapy.com. Yeah. I do some of the voices for some of those cartoons. Our buddy, for a long time, Dan has been making these cartoons called Action Figure Therapy, where, like, G.I. Joe's go to therapy.

Yeah. And it is the most popular thing with the military in the world. They love it. Like, he ships his T-shirts and cartoons to bases all around the world because, like, he really knows a lot about the military, and these cartoons are, like, really accurate to, like, how funny some of these guys are. Hey, but real quick, back to Millennials. You know, they're getting a bum deal in the job sector.

They need to save money. They sure do. I was going to go, speaking of ads. Today's show is brought to you by Casper. Get $50 toward any mattress purchased by visiting casper.com slash biggest and using promo code biggest. Casper mattresses, wow, what a great night's sleep. You know, I'll tell you, I'll tell you guys, honestly, like, look, I may have brought a girl or two back to my new super tiny. closet size department.

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I really hate it. You need a Casper, buddy. You get $50 off with our coupon cup. I know. I got so much money sunk into that mattress. I don't want to throw it up the window. Do you have one of those crazy organic cotton mattresses?

I don't know. I don't know, man. You go to the mattress store and I get that choice, like, panic where you got too many choices and no amount of laying for 10 minutes is going to mean shit two weeks later

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Window shop. So you're watching people have sex on the mattresses? Yeah, I'm on board. All right. I'm with you, dick. Risk free trial and return policy. Try sleeping on a Casper for 100 days with free delivery and painless returns. Yeah. One of the other nice things about a Casper, because, you know, now I've had two Casper banters in my life is like, you know, the bed is so stable and so comfortable that if you don't necessarily have the money for like a super nice box spring, if you put it on like a hardwood floor,

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He got his money back right away. All right. It was like a five minute to add. Everybody calm down about Casper. Casper, thank you for supporting us. Thank you for supporting the show. Astorios, what's your problem? All right, my problem this week is slouching.

Slouching. Yeah, it's a big problem. Yeah, slouching. Oh, I'm sorry, were you going to say it's not a big problem? I interrupted. Go ahead. No, I was going to say, is this a millennial problem? Even if it was.

Yeah, there's plenty of millions of slouching. Speaking of millennials, I brought in my friend. She's a model. Her name is Chloe. And she's going to demonstrate both good and bad posture for us right now. Okay. Now, again, she's a professional model. She knows a thing or two about.

about posture. Is she going to describe it or? Well, we're going to ask you some questions. She's going to sample some postures. Why don't you hop up on the mic? Get real close to Maddoch. Give Maddox a thrill here. Hey, what's up you guys?

All right. Now, how long have you been a model for? I've been modeled for 17 years. Oh my God. So what, since you were a baby? Yeah, since I was like 14. Holy moly. Okay, well, fantastic.

Now, from a modeling perspective, what's more attractive? A girl arching her back like this? or a girl who's all hunched over like this. You're actually supposed to, when you model, you're supposed to arch your back. Why? It can actually be really painful

because for long periods of time, you have to arch your back. Because it looks really nice. It looks like you have a complete straight line through your head all the way down to your ankles. So it looks really nice not to slouch. Yes. Would you say it's more attractive not to slouch?

Yeah. Yeah. Of course you would. Yeah. One of the biggest dangers of bad posture is that it makes boobs look smaller and worse. Now, that's true.

And when you're a model, you have small boobs already, so you need to push them out. How much of your job is trying to make your boobs look gigantic? 90% of it. 90% of the time. Exactly. Science tells us that when ladies slouch,

their boobs look way smaller and their guts stick out. And who's going to want to get with a slouchy broad? Everyone. Everyone, yeah. Everyone. I mean, you'll take what you can get some nights. All right, but let's say you walk into a,

Let's say you walk into a bar and there's a lady who's arching her back all nice and there's a lady who's all slouchy, who you're more attracted to. Whoever wants me. Yeah, I'm with Dick on this, Asteroos. You don't know shit about ladies. Maybe you're at your dance club trying to like pick which woman you'd have sex with. Let me help you out there. It's all of them. Yeah.

No, I'm with you as serious. I'm surprised you guys are so pro slouching. No, I'm just busting your balls. I had a teacher in high school who showed us a movie. And thank you, Chloe, for your input. Thanks so much. Yeah. I had a teacher in high school who talked about, he showed us a movie called, I think,

was Bye Bye Birdie, like an old musical. Yeah. Great movie. Yeah, well, so anyway, he showed us this movie, and he was trying to point out how girls flirt with guys, I think, in this movie. And he said, and there was a scene in there where the girl kind of like arched her back and put her chest out. You don't have to do it.

You can just describe it. Wait, this is for the benefit of the studio audience here. Do they look like this? No, no. Yeah. So for the listeners, I'm arching my chest out. my back right now. I'm putting my chest out. My beautiful man, man boobs. I'm putting my shirt with a t-shirt with a t-shirt that says butt fuck on it. Yeah, it's disgusting.

It means she's open for business. We got two large tittyed men in here doing weird Anne Margaret poses. Yeah. Yeah, baby. So anyway, he told me, he told us in the class that that was kind of how women flirted. And since he told me that way back in the day, I kind of paid attention to that, especially if I was talking to a girl who I thought might be interested in me. So I would know sometimes, you know, she might kind of like, you know, put him front and center. It's, yeah, exactly. And isn't that hot as shit when Ann Margaret's putting him front and center? It's beautiful.

Of course it is. It's a lovely thing. Now, I want you guys to think about dudes. Let's look at the other side of it. I'm someone who slouched forever. You guys have probably seen me slouching, right? Yeah, I've seen he slouching. Yeah.

How does it look to you guys? Like a tombstone. Yeah. It's fucking terrible, right? It's like a super unattractive thing for dude. Yeah. Like a job of the hut. Like a potato sack.

I keep going. Like a Mr. Potato Head that melted in the sun. Like a mound of clay that you didn't mean to pull out of your backyard. Yeah, but you did accidentally and it looks horrifying. Uh-huh. Yeah. It looks like what I imagine it would be a cartoon character for depression. Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. Like if you were giving an autistic person a depression test, you point at the one that looks like me when I'm slouching. Yeah. Like Job of the Hut on like in an elevator. Yeah, exactly. Maybe Job of the Hut just lost his job, you know, as a tax. to win gangster, and so he's all depressed about it. Yeah.

Interestingly, slouching, one of the many dangers of slouching is that you can get fired. What? According to Janice Novak, the author of posture, get it straight. Employees who enter a room slouching were hunched over are seen as less vital. So when it comes time to swing the axe, who are you going to keep? The office hunchback or some dude who's sticking his chest out like this. Yeah, I want a dude with a dead. Like a goddamn problem solver.

Yeah. Right. Right. Now, who's actually probably better at his job? The hunchback. He's got nothing else. Right. His mind is a living computer. He lives or dies based on the job. But you're going to fire him, right? Sure. Of course. No. Get rid of sloucho marks over there. Yeah, exactly. Another health danger of slouching. Poop problems.

When you sit in a crunched position, your viscera are folded up, says Stephen Wyninger, author of Stand Taller, Live Longer, and founder of BodyZone.com. It can slow down everything. So when you're slouching, you can become super duper constipated. A lot of times when you're on the toilet, you're looking at your phone, you're all slouched over. You're on the toilet for a lot longer. Why? You're slouching. You're stopping yourself up.

Yeah, I stand up when I should. As you should. I never know what to make of those like you're pooping the wrong way things. Well, because there's like those stepping stools. The squatty potty. The squatty potty. Yeah. I tried one.

Somebody gave one to my dad over Christmas. I don't know if it was a funny Christmas present or not. I got one of these aunts that, like, she gave me a vibrating pillow one year, and I was like, well, I don't know, is this a funny? I think it's funny, but it's... You're supposed to put that on your pussy, I think. Right. Yeah. Right.

She got him one of these squatty potties, and I used it, but I don't know if it was that much better of a pooping experience. Then I got violently ill the next night I had to throw it out of the way while I was throwing up in their bath. That's a different story. So, yeah, the Squatty, so I read that, I read that a while ago before this whole, this whole product became a phenomenon. And it's such brilliant marketing because they marketed it as kind of a gag gift that is also practical. And people buy it. They've made so much money selling this thing. I happen to have a bathtub edge that's close enough to my toilet that I can put my feet up if I need to occasionally.

Yes, perfect. Yes. Sounds like a real life hat. I have had times when I felt a bit constipated because I may have eaten some undercooked pasta. I don't know. Or too many crickets. Crickets come out a little bit crunchy, I got to say. So anyway, so I sat on allegedly.

So occasionally if I'm having trouble, you know, busting the loaf out of my butt hole, I'll put my feet up on the edge of my bathtub. and I do feel like it comes out a little easier. I agree. I have a series of hanging silks in my bathroom if I need to get one out. So you're like a gymnastic tour alert? Yeah. That stuff isn't enough.

Okay. Yeah. And I have just a bunch of books or sometimes a small footstool. I put my feet up on them. I don't know. It like does something where it makes you poop better. All right. So another problem with slouching.

Headaches, back aches, arthritis, reduced lung function, shortened lifespan. Here's another problem with slouching. People rubbing your hump for good luck. Is that a thing that happens? Yes, it absolutely is. In Italy, speaking of Italy, Il-Gobo, the hunchback, is a very popular charm. It's a little hunchback you carry around on your keychain, and you rub his hump for good luck.

Like, say, if you're praying to not live with your parents anymore. Like, you know, if you're just, like, really hoping that they'll die so you can have the house to yourself. Like, you rub that hump for good luck. Maybe he'll come home. They'll be dead. Louis Van Zyst, who lived from 1895 to 1915. He was a bat boy mascot and good luck charm for the Philadelphia Athletics.

So for four years, he was like their mascot, essentially. He was a hunchback. And the Oakland A's would rub his hump for good luck. Huh. So you're saying that slouching is a solution. Guys, vote down slouching. What I'm saying is, can you imagine living a life where people are constantly trying to grab the huge growth on your back

so they can be luckier? You know who's not lucky? The hunchback. Every time you're rubbing that hump, you're like reminding him of the terrible situation he's living in. That's slouching, folks. That's terrible. Yeah, but if I had a terrible

disfigurement on my body, I would want people to view it positively and come up to me and rub me all the time. I'd look forward to it. So you want people to come up and rub your face? Okay. Real funny. Now, you know, how are you going to fix your slum? A slouching problem.

Well, I've got two solutions. I dated a girl that had a hunchback. Really? Yeah, a real, an actual hunchback? Or she just slouched? She slouched, but it was like, uh, it had fucked up her spine. Oh, it was long enough. Well, I mean, did she have scoliosis, perhaps?

I don't know. Tune it out. I just remembered that part. And she wanted to get this, like, device that was kind of like a, I guess it was like a back brace. Yeah. And it, like, had these inflatable things that would, like, straighten out your spine. Yeah. I don't know.

I looked it up. I was like, yeah, that thing looks scary. Well, I'll tell it. This is going to last. I'll tell you. And you're married today. As serious, on the point of slouching and body language, again, I've recommended this book in the past and I'll recommend it again. The definitive book of body language.

I read this book and I could not put the thing down. I picked it up flipping through it and I read it from start to finish. I changed my posture. I changed things about myself that I never do anymore based on this body language. Like what? Well, for example, I never crossed my arms. Crossing your arms closes you off to the outside world. Yeah.

And people always make an excuse for why they're crossing their arms. They say, I'm comfortable this way or I'm cold or whatever. If you're actually cold, that may be the case. But more often than not, if you say you're comfortable crossing your arms, it's a self-defense mechanism. And it closes you off to the outside world. I can tell how good or bad meetings are going based on whether or not they cross their arms. And I know to change my tune and change the topic if they happen to.

But anyway, back to the posture thing. I also learned that when you're walking down the street, especially at night, based on your posture, you are way more likely to get mugged if you don't have a totally straight, puffed up chest outwards than if you are hunched over. You're way more likely to get asked for...

Next time you're walking down the street and you see a homeless person going to ask you for change, puff up your chest and walk upright and they'll be way less likely to ask. That is totally true. Yeah. Yeah.

If you have a confident posture and confident body language, you're less likely to get it. fucked with when you walk into where you're going. Can I ask you, how often do you think about being mugged and, like, methods of avoiding being mugged and dealing with being mugged?

We've got fake wallets, we've got body pockets, like, is it a big problem? Dick, in my neighborhood, in the last six months alone, I have found two heroin needles, a dime bag of coke, and birth control plan B in the gutter, as well as condoms

on the street. And that's just what fell out of my car. I saw condoms on the street, human shit on the street. I watched somebody climb into a neighbor's house to rob it as I was on the phone with police. Yeah, I think about it pretty frequently. What a rat.

Yeah. Well, City of Dreams, Los Angeles. Everybody moved to Hollywood. Well, well, two, you know, there's a couple of solutions. For one, like, you know those standing desk assholes? Yeah. I'm one of them.

Oh, man. I'm a standing desk asshole because I had terrible back pain my whole life. I remember literally telling my pediatrician Dr. Pearson when I was like 14, like my back always hurts. What the fuck do I do? Until I became a standing desk asshole and my back pain has absolutely gone away. I don't know. I don't know what.

I'm not like a scientist or an ergonomist. Like I don't know exactly what it is, but I was like, I'll fucking try anything. I'm so tired of going to bed with back pain and waking up with back pain. pain and becoming standing desk asshole actually worked. Hey, can I say something? There's about lower back pain specifically. Howard Stern a long time ago pitched this book on his show. It was called the, I think the mind over back pain.

It's called, I think it was called the myth of back pain. It was something like that. Something like that. And I dated these girls in the past who, multiple girls I dated who had excruciating back pain. Big boobs. So bad. Yeah? So bad.

You wish. So bad that they would cry consistently. They wouldn't be able to sleep. They wouldn't be able to go any place and sit down for long periods. I couldn't even go to a movie with some of these girls because their backs hurt so much. So I got them this book that Howard Stern recommended. And I can't recommend it highly enough. Both of them within reading this book, within a week, their back pain disappeared.

And it's not that it's not to say that all back pain doesn't exist. It definitely does. And posture may have something to do with it. However, 80% of it is psychosomatic. 80% of it is your body manifesting stress in, excuse me, your mind manifesting stress in physical pain in your lower back. That happens all the time.

And I can't recommend this book highly enough. I'll link to it on the website. Yeah, I mean, I absolutely believe that it's not to say that people with back pain are crazy, but I feel like we keep our stress in different places and I feel like our muscles get super locked up and we're super stressed out. Sure.

I mean, dating you would obviously stress out any girl. Fuck you, hysterios. You know. It's a good excuse for not going to the movies with you, too. Yeah. My back heard so much. Pile it on. Anything you want to add to this, Sean?

Chinese accent or anything? No, they did pretty well. Okay. So, sally. I keep all my stress and my dick. And you need girls to work it out, don't you? Exactly. And does it make you feel better?

Yeah, whatever. It doesn't? Dick asks girls to rub it for good luck. Yeah, see, there you go. That's a good, that's a good gimmick. So, you know, I'd say become a standing desk asshole. And the other thing is a friend of mine, a friend of mine gave me this advice for my posture. And it is the only thing that is stuck in my head about how to sit up straight or how to stand up straight or walk straight.

She told me that in an acting class once, she was told by her teacher to imagine that someone was putting hooks through your nipples and put chains on the end of those hooks and was pulling you around by the nipple. by these chains. So I'll show you guys what it looks like. Okay, Sirius is standing up. I know what it looks like. All right. We do. That's not going to work if you're talking off the mic. I'm super loud.

They'll be able to hear me. Okay. Now imagine I'm being pulled around by these nipple chains. Look at how good this. As Sirius is walking around like Frankenstein. I mean, you're just walking around like a normal person. Do you need it to be nipple related? Yeah.

It's the only thing that I've been able to remember because every time I go walking, I imagine someone jamming. hooks through my nipples because it's such a visceral disgusting image and as a result it's worked people people have all these tricks like you know i've heard chiropractors say like imagine there's like a string coming out of the top of your head and you're straightening it well you'll forget that in five seconds you'll imagine this imagine you have a book on your head yeah you'll forget nipple hooks you'll remember nipple hooks true you guys will never forget nipple hooks yeah that's a that's a good visceral image to have it opens up a whole new world of porn too

It sure does. We know what that guy was into. Yeah. Let me introduce you guys to my friend, the wishmaster. How much was that acting class? Someone paid to hear a lecture about nipple hooks? It was actually a whole college degree. The tip that my trainer gave me a long time ago was to stand up against the wall and he said your shoulder blades and the back of your head should be able to touch the wall at the same time.

And that was never the case with me. So I practiced. Just practice standing up against the wall, guys. That's an easy way to fix your posture. Anyway, is that it? Is that it? That's it. Slouching, big problem. All right, good problem. Guys, thank you. Thank you, serious. Thank you, Dick.

Great problems, but I got the real biggest problem in the universe this week. It's Celebrity Prom Request. Just millennial prom requests? No, Dickhead. It's Celebrity Prom Request. This isn't a millennial problem. Or maybe it is, Dick. I don't know. Because it's something that I never heard of until recently. Really? We got a lot of Gen Xers asking Ronda Rousey to the proff.

Yeah, yeah, actually. So maybe they could paint her to look like a woman. Oh, Dick. Ronda Rousey's hot. Yeah, she's hot of shit. Oh, fuck you. Are you too serious? Is she so hot?

I got a boner right now thinking about her. Are you brainwashed? Do you think Ronda Rousey's hot? She's hot as shit. I think she's got a hot face. I think she's got a hot body. You're not attracted to like a powerful, cool celebrity woman? Fuck no.

Welcome to 1984, where two guys, Rhonda Rousey's hot. She's hot. What's wrong with Ronda Rouse? You guys got hooks in more than your nipples if you think that chick's hot. I'm going to pull up some hot pictures of Rada Rows. Meanwhile, Dick is dating a hunchback, so I'm skeptical about your scale here, buddy. Okay, anyway, celebrity prom requests are a big problem because, guys, how much do we have

to shame celebrities into doing this stupid horseshit for publicity for, like, every time, It seems like every few months. Oh, As serious has a picture of Ronda Rousey here. Let's see this. Look how hot she is. Oh, my gosh. What a babe. That's fake.

That's fake. That's fake. That's fake. What's not her? Wait, so there's not a picture of Ronda Rousey's pussy sticking out and her and her tits. Wait, oh, is this fake? Oh, it's a Photoshop thing.

Oh, I'm sorry, guys. All right. Perhaps that's what you're basing your view of Ronda Ronda Rang. I am a bunch of fake Photoshop pictures. What about this picture of Ronda Rousey? Yeah. Is this? Any better?

It's a full-on spread eagle picture of Ronda rousy being penetrated. Seriously, these might be fake photoshopps. I don't know. I'll have to do some more investigation when you guys are gone. I'm going to go to the bathroom and investigate. Geez, not my bathroom. Get out. Guys, celebrity prom request, it seems like every few months there's a new one,

and they're all the same. They're all the same horseshit. I don't remember the first one that started. It was kind of big in, like, around 2005, 2006. I don't ever remember them not existing. Oh, they're so bad. Listen to this one. This is a guy asking Kate Upton out to prom.

And just listen to this. Hey, Kate, Jake Davidson here in sunny Los Angeles, inviting you to my senior prom on May 23rd, 2013. Oh, gosh. You're the yin to my yang. You like fine dining. I like fine dining. You're on the cover of Sports Illustrated.

Is he talking into a fan? I read Sports Illustrated. I read Sports Illustrated. I read Sports Illustrated. He's being given a wedgy right now. That's what's up. Yeah, so this is a kid who's asking out a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model. Yeah.

Cover model to his prom. She might go. Playmates have gone to proms before. Great. Why not? It's annoying. You wouldn't beat the shit out of that kid? Are you kidding me?

I know. Well, here's the... Why not? If it works. Here's the conclusion to that asking out of Kate Upton. Has she finally accepted? I don't know yet. I think it's still a maybe. There were some reports that said no, some reports that said she's still thinking about it. But as far as I'm concerned, still maybe, obviously being a realist. She's probably very busy. She's a very in-demand professional. Yeah, she's very busy shithead. She's too busy to go to your fuck-ass high school prom. Why don't you ask some of the girls out in your fucking prom? Because that's your level right now. I want to kill that guy. I don't know if that's his level either. I want to kill. I want to kill. It might be a little below.

Yeah, a little below. That's from showbiz tonight. So they interviewed this kid, and he's, you know, he's just a spaz. And the news, the news, especially morning shows, morning talk shows, eat this shit up. They love it so much because it's just an excuse to shame celebrities into going out to these like hokey little high school things. And what happens is if the celebrities turn down the high school student, then they seem like a villain. Suddenly they're a bad guy for doing nothing more than existing and being successful at their career. being the height of their field, suddenly by turning down some shithead high school student,

because you're too fucking busy with your life and career to take time out, to fly to butt-fucking Egypt to go to some shit dick high school prom and some loser, now you're a villain because you turn them down. Can their publicists just say that they're like out of the country at that time? I mean, nobody's going to follow that up now. No, Sean, because these news stories, these morning shows pick up the story and then they put it out there. Yeah, they check in.

Then you have a Twitter campaign, and then you have people harassing them on Twitter. Hashtag take me, Kate. But on the day of the prom? I think they can get out of this without any negative publicity. I don't know. I just, it's just annoying. It's just like fucking stupid and annoying. Are you guys annoyed on behalf of the celebrities?

I'm just, I'm just annoyed, period, that, like, these fucking nerds are making these videos begging these these celebrities. It's just like, it's such a look at me attention thing. I don't know. It's just really annoying to me. Yeah, it's really annoying. Yeah, like, you know. So would you not go to the prom with someone if they asked you?

If like a 16-year-old girl asked either one of you to their prom, would you turn her down? How hot is this girl? How hot is this girl? That's the thing. If super hot dudes were asking Kate Upton to the prom, I don't think this would be a story. The story is always hunchbacked loser nerd begs supermodel to go to prom with him and hopefully give him a hand job. Yeah. I don't know if they're hoping for you.

think they're hoping for a handjob for a kidduffin? If you're a realist, you're like, look, maybe I can get a hand jab out of this. The worst ones are... No, you're thinking I'm going to bang a hot chick in my school. If I take Kate Upton here and get all this attention, they're all going to want to come over and talk to her. I'll be king of the school forever. Yeah, but it's usually senior prom or junior prom. But senior prom, like, you're done with school.

It's the last thing that you do. So you're out the door, you're not going to bang any of those losers in high school. Who cares? And besides, they're all gross anyway. And they suck at sex. High school sex sucks. The worst, the worst prom request to me are always the military ones. Yeah, I got one.

Because there's the extra layer of guilt where it's like, I'm fighting for a freedom, Ronda Rousie. You have to go to the, it's like if you don't go to the Marine ball with me, Ronda Rousie, you might as well suck ISIS as dick. Speaking of Ronda Rousey, here is a clip as someone asking Ronda Rousey out. Listen to this. Hey, Rhonda. My name is Jared Hachard.

I'm United States Marines stationed out of Campbell Zoo, North Carolina. You are my celebrity crush, which is why I would be my honor to take you to the Marine Corps ball on December 11th. I really hope this doesn't get in the way you're training for your next fight in January. Yeah, the fight that was she lost. I did get in the way. Because she went to the pro-to-that guy. And she lost the fight. Case closed. Yeah. I'm sorry. I hope this doesn't get in the way you're training.

Yeah, it probably does shithead. She doesn't have time to go to butt-fucking wherever you are and go to the prom with you. I thank you for your service God bless America You know Thank you for your your your sacrifice for our country But fuck off You're not gonna get a date with Ronda Rousey

She's too busy with living her career In her life man Can you take time off from the field To go to Ronda Rousey's show? No Your drill instructor is gonna Kick your ass if you try that shit Mm-hmm

Look yeah I'm with you on this one I just think it's like Fuck celebrities Fuck their time Look what They're just getting more attention By going to the stupid prom

anyway. I'm not, look, I'll play the world's smallest violin for celebrities. I just think this is part of annoying YouTube look at me culture where every single kid has to go viral where it's like every kid's dream now is to be on the news. You know what I mean? And like, look, I feel like we're a little different. We're all entertainers and comedians. Like, you know, you guys have written successful books. You like, you guys, you know, you're up, you're at the theater every night. You know, you got your third or fourth book on the way. It's like, I feel like it's different for us. like, we're trying to make art here. It's super annoying that there are people

that want to be famous for being famous's sake. And it's like, you want to bitch about millennials, that's fucking millennials. Sean, would you say that the YouTube generation is a big problem? Yes. Yeah, you would? Because how big of a problem would you say it is?

Not big enough. Is it big enough to bring in? Wait, do you deal with YouTube kids all day? Is that your job? No, you know. It's a very inside. Joe. Sean, should we give him... No, I don't care.

Sean, a long time ago, when we... Oh, that was. Yeah, Sean's problem that he was supposed to bring in for, what, our 50th episode? Yeah. 50 seconds. And then we ended up having Cool Sean bring it in instead. That's right. Cool, Sean didn't do as good a job, though. Cool, Sean didn't... He was pretty funny. That's funny. Anyway, here's one from Milakunis.

And listen to how much she was... Mila Coonis. Meala. Here's one from Milakunis. Listen to how much she was guilted for this, uh, for this date. And this was during an interview she was doing for promo for her fucking job for her new movie was coming out. Perfect. Listen to this. Hey, Mila, Sergeant Moore, that you can call me, Scott. I just want to take a moment out of my days. It's about you. It's the Green Court Ball on November 18th in Greenville, North Carolina,

with yours truly. So take a second, think about it. Get back to me. Is he sitting next to a fucking copy machine? He was, he was walking, so he was walking across, like a desert, and there was that crunching noise of, like, sand and dirt underneath his speed. Um, and Afghan children's skulls. This is from ABC News when they capture Milakunis on her promo. Listen to this. Mila's co-star and their new movie Friends with Benefits, Justin Timberlake, saw this video and decided to patriotically matchmaking. Have you seen this?

A Marine Cop posted a video inviting you to go to the cops' ball. Do it for your country. Yeah. You need to see it. What? Do it for your country. Listen, I'm going to work on this for you. What an asshole. Yeah. That's awesome.

Yeah. That's great. So this is like, this is like a mass shooting where everything, everything happens. As soon as one happens, it opens the door for copycats. And every other shithead is going to copy

the same shitty behavior and do their own celebrity prom request. The one person who did it, it opened the door, the floodgates, for everyone else to do it. It's always a marine ball. It's always prom. And listen to this one.

Well, we got to shut the borders to keep celebrities from getting in then. That's the clear solution. Are you suggesting Trump should build a wall around Hollywood? Yeah, I would support that. Should Mexico pay for that too? Yeah, fuck it, why not? I think you would have plenty of money coming in

to shut L.A. off from the rest of the country. That's actually. Mexico wouldn't need to pay for it. That and fucking Burning Man. Did you see that article a long time ago that said it came out, I think it was the onion or something. I don't need the onion. They said that when everyone was going out to Burning Man,

this is our opportunity. This guy was trying to crowd fund a wall built around Nevada or San Francisco or something like that to keep them in there. Like to not let them back. Really funny stuff. And that's the whole joke. That's why you never need to read an article on The Onion. Because the joke is the headline. It's not always.

Well, that's how they write. I used to intern at The Onion. Like, that's how they write it. Like, if the headline's not funny, they don't. It's like the entire joke has to be in the headline according to like. That's how they write that shit. Yeah. Here's one last one I'm going to play.

This one's a girl asking Sean White. professional snowboarder and athlete and Olympian Sean White Oh, he would probably go? Yeah, well, I think he did, but listen to this stupid fucking clip. Please pardon this interruption, but we have some shocking news. Sean White has never been to prom. So first of all, they start out the introduction. With the introduction, they're shaming him for I've never gone to prom.

And this is like a high school video with high school production values. Listen to this. Probably got in touch with this, and we thought we'd help get the message out that she's got one coming up. And she wants nothing more than to take her full. favorite celebrity athlete in the world. So any chance you could swing by Philly and pick her up? I mean, considering she went to the insane effort to GoPro the dawn of Shauna the prom idea.

I want to murder all these kids. Why? Why do they annoy them all? They annoy why does anybody annoy you? It's like they're annoying. It's like you're not annoying. What do you find in common with them that you hate so much?

Attention seeking behavior, shitty voice. Delifying celebrities for no reason other than them being celebrities. You're just shaming someone who, very popular into going to prom with you, which, by the way, what the fuck is Sean White going to do going to go into prom with a 16 year old? Oh, man, he's going on a real hot date with a child.

Just makes him fans happy. You guys have something in common with these celebrity prom requesters. That's why you hate them so much. That's why I don't feel anything about it. There's something going on here. What, Sean? I say he could hook up dope at the same time.

Sure, yeah. No, it's the most obnoxious form of attention-seeking, like Isteris was saying. And also, again, it's just shaming celebrities for being celebrities and harassing them. If you got harassed all the time for this shit, it would drive me nuts. It would drive me nuts.

It would drive you nuts if I got harassed for it or you got harassed for it. Don't you get like a request to hang out all the time? Yeah, I do. And sometimes I do. But if it became like this big public thing, first of all, if I agreed to it, it's kind of like, you know, the problem I had with well-intentioned idiots

was that all these women were putting this immense pressure on this guy to come out and dance with these other. women because he was fat-shamed. For anyone who doesn't remember, this guy, there was a picture on 4chan of this guy allegedly dancing at this place and he was made fun of for being fat. And then all these women thought that they were doing, they were such fucking saints because they created a Twitter hashtag campaign to out this guy, the fat dude. Hey, hey, come out to L.A. and we want to dance with you because we're not, we don't think you're ugly and gross. We want to prove it by dancing with you. We're 1700 hot women or whatever.

He won the lottery. No, first of all, you don't know, you don't know anything. anything about this guy. You don't know about his sexuality. You don't know if he's straight or gay. You don't know if he's married. You don't know if he wants this fucking attention. You're invading his privacy. You're doing the exact same thing with celebrities now by doing this celebrity prom request. You're shaming them and putting pressure on them. And if they turn you down, they look like a bad guy. Why are we living in a world like this where you can be a bad person for doing nothing more than just living your fucking life and want to be left alone? Oh, that's your definition of a celebrity, someone who wants to be left alone.

But nobody wants this. Next weekend, they're all going to a award ceremony celebrating themselves. And then you're surprised that they get, what, invited to prom sometimes? If you're not annoyed by like these like whiny, these whiny do-nothing kids pulling out their cell phones and using the wrong aspect ratio to like beg a celebrity to go to prom with them. like, if you don't find that annoying, I can't convince you that it's annoying. I just like, whenever I see these videos, it just does something to me. It just, I just fucking want to pubble these kids' faces. Why does anything annoy any?

Kids do so much more annoying things. Why this one specifically? Well, we're just, because this is what we're talking about one of them. I mean, I'm not saying that kids don't do more annoying things, but it is annoying. It's annoying you to be millennial bullshit behavior to want something for nothing. It's cringy. To like use the power of the internet and social media to like, I don't know, make your weird fake dream come true. What's weird about wanting Kate Upton to come to prom with you?

That's very normal. Let's say she goes to, sorry. Oh, yeah, I was just going to wanting to have a celebrity come to prom with you. Great. It's a fantasy a lot of people have. But then creating an entire Twitter hashtag campaign, getting your local news involved, getting national news involved, getting all these, celebrities breathing down your neck and putting an immense amount of pressure,

it's just, it's egregious, it's obnoxious. It's taking it to the next level where, again, just for living your life and doing what you're doing, you have to take time out, otherwise you're a bad guy. Yeah. Do you have a problem with paparazzi too? Do you think they're invasive? For, well, it depends.

They killed Princess Die. Yeah, I have a problem with paparazzi. Okay. They're annoying as shit. Do you guys ever see paparazzi? yelling like really loaded questions at celebrities like it's yeah i don't know i think hilarious why haven't you ever become a papar you'd be perfect at it oh yeah i totally would um you drive real fast yeah no he doesn't no he doesn't i pretend to be a photographer yeah yeah

and you could sell these pictures of TMZ all you got to do is ask a bunch of loaded like you just have to annoy them into freaking out at you and then you've made a couple of grand i can easily do that I know you could both do that. No, we won't be doing that. What else are you got? I just don't want there to be a celebrity hashtag campaign to shame another fucking person into doing some shit that they don't want to do.

Guys, leave people the fuck alone. Yeah, we all want to go out with celebrities. We all want to bang Ronda Rousey and go to celebrity proms with Milakunis and whoever the fuck Kate Upton. Sure, we all want that. But keep it to your personal little blog and your fantasy and status update.

don't create a national campaign to shame these people. They're very busy. They don't have time for your pimply fucking face in Philadelphia. No. And aren't they only going out of pity? Yeah. Isn't that like the word? It's like you would never get Mila Cunis on your own.

You had to develop like a hashtag like I love you Mila or Mila for prom. Like you had to like bend reality and the universe itself. I don't think they're going. I don't think they're going out of pity. Me either. No, I think Maddox is right. They're going for good publicity. Well, he's saying they're going because they get shame.

They're going to avoid bad publicity. Exactly. Yeah, but why are they getting good publicity for doing charity? Essentially. You're a big, ugly charity case, and that's where the good publicity comes from. That's the story. It's incredibly hot-looking princess goes to prom with troll. Yeah, it's fun.

You want to be the troll? I don't know. I don't want to be the troll. You know what it is, Assyrius and Dick. It's this phenomenon that we have now where people, think that they are having goodwill by creating this narrative, like by playing into this huge national narrative where there is a love story going on, right? And we are the participants in this love story. And we can make it happen if we believe hard enough. And if we tweet loud enough,

and if we keep bugging them hard enough, that this love story, this narrative that we've invented in our minds will come true. And this happened not too long ago, a couple months ago, this woman in France saw a guy and a girl kissing as I think the guy proposed to his girl or something on the Eiffel Tower and she caught this moment in a photo it's a very nice photo nothing wrong with the photo then

this woman decided to go out of her way to try to find this couple to give them this photo and finally there's this huge national campaign and people were posting it yeah on Reddit like who's this couple who's this mystery couple we have to find this couple she finally found the couple and the guys like I don't want this photo

We're divorced Yeah didn't work out Like you know whatever Like I want my privacy I don't want my fucking photo Plastered everywhere You fucking lunatic This is this is what we're living in now

Where you can just pressure anyone Into doing anything Put their photo out there Force people to do it just because of peer pressure It's just fucking bullying All these idiots who want like the dancing girls The well-intentioned idiots These are this is the exact problem

They're fighting against They're fighting against shaming shaming people. I think you guys read a lot into this stuff. Like, it's just fun. Like, it's harmless fun. That's irrelevant. Whether it's fun or not, that's irrelevant. Jesus Christ It's there. It's harmless but it's irrelevant.

These people are being shamed and bullied. No, because that doesn't address the problem. Like, whether or not you think it's fun. There's no problem to anybody. Whether or not you think it's, no, it is a problem. Oh, Milakunis is really offended in her house that this Marine asked her out. No, you don't know. They're very busy.

Look, Rhonda Rousey lost her fight. I mean, because of this guy? I don't know, but the guy, the guy specifically said, he's like, yeah, maybe you're too busy training for your next fight. Or acting. Or trying to be a sex symbol. Well, whether or not she is or isn't depends on us. But these people are very busy with their lives. They have careers to do.

They've worked really hard to get to the top of their field. And yeah, this might be an interruption that they can't handle in the moment. Just cut it out, guys. Stop it. Please, for the love of God. media narratives are so disposable. It's like this, it's such a disposable distraction. It's like, oh, we got to find the person who, who took the, we got to find the couple from the photo on the Eiffel tower. Oh, we got to find a date for Brad. Hashtag date for Brad. We got to do this. We got to do that.

And it's like, and then the narrative closes and we throw it away. And it's just like, it's just something that boring people who don't create any value used to feel important for a nanose. second. Is that why you guys are upset? Because you think you're creators, so you're better than these kids who are getting national attention just by asking celebrities to prom? I'm not going to say that. That's why it upsets Maddox, but I think getting attention for attention sake, I think being a celebrity just to be a celebrity, I think creating nothing of value that anyone would, like, whatever want. Yeah, I think that's sort of a despicable position. Okay. I see. Yeah. I do. That's my, I'm not going to say it's yours. It's my take. No, I do, I do feel better than that.

them, but I feel better than everyone. Anyway, guys, my problem this week is Celebrity Prom Request. My problem this week is slouching. Adults living with their parents. See you next Tuesday. Let's see here. Can you hear some more voicemails?

Yeah. Just a couple. Can you guys please stop fucking saying N-word? Who the hell do you think you're avoiding offending? Everyone knows what the hell you mean. Just say that... Ha ha ha.

It's true, though. It's like the same people who say people of color. You're basically, you're saying colored person, which is an outdated... Oh, where's the race card? No, but it is. Like, if you're not comfortable saying colored person, you probably shouldn't say people of color. Sean, I've heard this argument for a long time about... Not buying it.

No, the N-word. No word is different than any other word in our language. No other word has that much power. No other word has that much impact. I wasn't comparing the two. No, I know. But a lot of people do. I wonder how women feel about the C-word.

Not the same way. I don't know. I'm not a woman. Here's another one. This is Uncle Ruckett. Jeff wanted to tell that black son of Ben Zenzel, who came on the show talking about his black problems. Denzel, you had every right to be following the apple store,

walking into the widest place on Earth, looking like you were going to steal. I'm glad you took out your pockets to let those white people know that you didn't have no weapons, so when they call the cops and beat your black hair, You'd be all right with that. Anyway, then they'll, the reason why there's single black men out there, the single household is because y'all just like Jack Rabbits.

That's why they call it hippie-hop. Can y'all keep hopping and hopping and fucking all these other bitches out there? So keep it clean. Thank you, Dick, for setting up a representative for me. You're welcome. Go fuck yourself, too. Oh, damn it. Good call.

Oh, an Asian guy called in, offended about your derogatory. A real Asian guy? I don't know. Is it Tim Chang's again? It's not Tim Chang's. Let's hear it. This guy has a more convincing accent. Uh, I will, I miss So, Maddox.

Okay. You use very offensive, right or racial slur in regard to me being a shrubhead. Uh, what referred to the stranding of our eyeballs. Oh, gosh. Fuck you, Maddox. Yeah. Oh, I understand a whole thing. Nothing he was going to say was going to save it after that.

Yeah. All right.