The Biggest Problem in the Universe: Uncucked - Episode 99

Episode Date: June 21, 2018

Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe, the show where we discuss every problem in the universe from cancersores to wankersores with over 6 million downloads. This is the only show where you decide what should or shouldn't be on the big list of problems like Maddox with me as dick. Hey, what's up, buddy?

And Sean, our audio engineer, and welcome back Asteroos. Hey, everybody. Yeah. You don't have a drop from Tim Chang's, do you? I need one. I'd like one. No, you wouldn't.

You would. They're garbage drops, Asterios. They're really good. They are really good. Here I'll do one. Asteroos. Coconos. And then just add a bunch of reverb

and distortion to that. There you go. No, no. This is how they sound. Made off, you some bitch. That sounded better than your version. Like a shitty Duke Nukem. Anyway, guys, the big episode 99 before our big episode 100.

Not our anniversary, by the way. Oh, not this again. Is this going to happen again, really? Fuck you. You really care. this much? No, no, no. It is episode 100. Okay, yeah. No, we're celebrating. Busting balls here. At the biggest problem, that's what we do.

We bust balls. We also record bonus episodes that you can download now if you go to the website. Oh my gosh. Fantastic bonus episode. And Dick, I think this is the first one where we actually may have solved some problems. We solved homelessness. Yes. We solved getting pizzas. Okay. Getting pizzas in a fun

way, though. Not where you're sitting around with your dick in your hand, wondering where your pizza is. This is an interactive pizza experience. Wow. Yeah. We solved people who are fuck sticks who don't, who are just dreamers all the time. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

And we solved nothing else. Advertising. We solved nothing more. The great panacea of our time. Of everything. Yeah. Ads. Absolutely ads.

Ads are the glue that hold our society together. The reason you're both in the room. right now. Advertising. Wrong. Wrong. Absolutely not. We got a full house today, by the way.

A large studio audience today, what's that? Like six, seven people. It must be a record. Yeah. Must be a record. Candy Randy, he must be blown his lid right now. He'd be blown his lid if he saw this.

It's not even here. Not even here. No. We missed the guy. But anyway, speaking of problems like Randy. Yeah, no, I didn't want to do that. I didn't want to do that transition.

I thought you might not want to, buddy. All right, guys. Moving on. The biggest problem in the universe from last week was road blockheads. Yeah. Hey. Good.

Fuck them. Fuck those guys. Cry baby problem. Cry baby. Cry baby problem. That's what that was. Fuck those guys. Followed by murderers.

Yeah. Sorry, you're inconvenienced taking your groceries home, but murderers are a bigger problem than one protest that blocked an intersection. Sorry. I've never, I've been affected by road blockheads tons of times. and I haven't been murdered once. There you go. Proving a way bigger problem.

I wish I could, but I can't. Yeah. Followed by acne, and then dead last was junk in the trunk. I guess you think that junk in the trunk is a solution. And again, for those who haven't listened to the episode, we're not talking about big asses, which I have no problem with. We're talking about literal junk in your literal trunk. Yeah.

I got a comment from Eric Luster. If anyone could be a murder, it would be Sean. Jake Jones says he's moved up to deleting people. Oh, Jesus Christ. In one of your drug hazes. Chris LaRoche says Maddox used to be a serial killer, because you were talking all about serial. He goes, straight up murdering boxes of shredded wheat daily.

Remember when you would do that? Yeah, I used to, idiots. I got a comment from Ricardo Condi. Condi, condom. He says, Sean was probably late because he probably deleted the recording off the gig he was at, and they had to do it all over again. Kind of a long joke. Yeah, a lot of ball busting for Sean this month.

How do you like that, Sean? What's that guy's name? Ricardo Condom. Here's some ballbusting for you then. Yeah. Hey, hey, guys. I'm Maddox, and people who disagree with me are this their minds, and they talk like this.

Milwaukee is a state. Yeah. You know what, guys, here's the thing. You know what, Wisconsin has a branding problem, okay? When people think Milwaukee's a state, your state sucks. That's how people, that's how little people know about Wisconsin. No one knows shit about Wisconsin, except for that fuck-ass TV show about the murder who, you know, had the cousin or whatever. Did that happen to Wisconsin?

What are you talking about? Making a murder. I don't know what that happened. See, no one knows. No one knows shit about Wisconsin. Why don't you name your state to Milwaukee? That's a name I can get behind. Did you think that Milwaukee was a state in the last episode?

I was just going through M words and Milwaukee came out. Big deal. This guy's going through M words too. Hey, Maddox, here's the list of states that begin with M. Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, and Montana. Huh. You know, that's really weird because Milwaukee is not on here. Oh, that's right.

Because Milwaukee's a fucking city in Wisconsin, you retard. What an asshole idiot. He left off Montgomery, though. Oh, right, the state of Montgomery, absolutely. Yeah. That guy's an asshole and an idiot. And by the way, does anyone in this room doubt for a second that he wasn't reading that off the list? I don't think he was.

It sounded off the dome to me. No, it didn't. You don't know. You don't know the first thing. about what things sound like when it's off the dope. Now, you disagree with me. All right, that guy sounds like an idiot. Okay, well, these guys do have some valid criticisms of something you said about.

Oh, boy, I can't wait to hear this. More shitting on Maddox. Oh, Jesus fucking Christ, Maddox, you dumb motherfucker. Dude, virgins don't die in horror movies. That's what's dying horror movies. The virgins are always the final girls to make it all the way to the air. Cut this voice now off. This guy's full of shit.

How fucking stupid are you? Jesus Christ, you call yourself a horror movie fan? Fuck. Yeah. Yeah, shithead. I was in a horror movie, okay? One of the best. What horror movie were you in? I was in a movie called Oogabuga.

Oh, man. It was a good horror. It was really good. We were robbed from the Oscar, the Academy Awards. Oh, Leo ripped you off? No, it was two years ago, I think. Two years ago came out. Not a total, total snub.

Academy Award snub. Anyway, shithead. Yeah. Virgins do get killed. in horror movies, they're sacrificed. Have you ever fucking seen a horror movie in your life? Do you even know what a horror movie is? I don't see, I don't remember Virgin's getting killed.

It's because you don't even watch horror movies. What are you talking about? Sometimes the Virgin gets killed last. I mean, like, you know, sometimes nobody makes it out of life. But like, yeah, having sex is like punishable by murder in those movies. Well, it depends. Some horror movies, they're killing people who have sex. Some of them, they're killing people who don't have sex.

Either way, sex is involved. I don't. Okay. Wait, but I would like to say this. At the end of this episode, I would like to listen to that clip from Uga-Buga that you're in, live on the air. I think that'd be fun. Oh, boy.

All right. I kind of would, too. If you guys are good boys and girls, then maybe I'll play the clip. We're probably not going to get down here this time. Okay, let's just move on then. All right. I got one song from Chris Strand. Oh, it's about you, Sean.

Again. Oh, I know this. Oh, I can't wait. Dear guys, I can't take the pressures of this doggy dog world anymore. So I'm moving to rural China to be an ass farmer. I got a late night craving I'm gonna farm some ass and weed With weed and ass I'll plant my seed

My songs are always the best Are you a weed and ass man Who are we kidding? Of course you are No matter what asses you like Chinese Who are weed should be like And don't worry about getting caught because all evidence will be deleted.

So now just a tiva shams we didn't ask for me. Where things don't just get weird. They get fucked. That's a good ad. Yeah. Who was it? Chris Tran. That was really good.

That was really good. He did this real shitty bags of sand song, and then he did a real funny Dick Masterson's small face song. Now the Sean song. I don't remember the small face song. Yeah. Did we play it on the show? Mm-hmm.

Oh, shit. I got it right here. Well, we've all heard in them. I've got one more thing. I've got to read. A fan sent me a care package from Joe. Dick, I know it's odd for a grown man to be giving another grown man.

He doesn't even know a gift. He's right. But I wanted to thank you for getting me in shape. About a year ago, I heard you talking about lifting on the podcast, and for some reason I started doing it too. I've lost about 30 pounds and put on some muscle. Thanks. If only the podcast was around

Before I got married I'd most likely be getting more tail Oh well Vote up time travel And a hotter wife Well look If she started lifting This wouldn't be a problem

Oh good luck If you figure out the solution To get your wife in the gym You win the bonus episodes forever I just want a swole wife I almost I almost packed some fireball in here for Maddox But purchasing it would be fucking embarrassing

Thanks sick What an asshole. I bet that guy's still fat. That guy sounds like it's a real fat son. Wait, what do you got there? Not, not sharing this gift with you then. It's Masterson's straight rye whiskey. Wow.

A very tasty whiskey. Did you know that that was a real thing, Masterson's? No, I didn't know. I never heard of it. I can't wait to crack it open. I'm not putting it in your kombucha. It's not kombucha. It's shithead.

Well, it's purple. It's not purple. It's grape Kool-Aid. It's nothing. You'll treat it as such. You know what? It's just. raw cranberry juice, okay?

It's delicious. I'm not mixing this wonderful rye with cranberry juice. Anyway, I'm over. Thank you, Joe. Thank you, Joe. Thank you for nothing, Joe. Okay. Enjoy your ugly wife. All right.

Well done. Good luck. Well done, sir. I got one last comment from Joe, Joe Atillo Crusoe. He says, after Maddox's car was broken into, he always carries an empty dummy car with him everywhere he parks. I wish. That's a brilliant idea. I got this, a doctor sent

me a giant email about ADHD. You remember we talked about, you brought in ADHD D. Yes. I don't know, the second D was a typo, I think. No, it wasn't. It was diagnosis. That was my problem. Attention deficit, hyperactivity disorder diagnosis. The diagnosis part was the problem. All I heard was attention and I just zoned out. Hold on to serious. Hey, wait a minute. I haven't used this in a while.

Oh. Yes. I've also got one about bits. So it's a big email. Let's see. He said, first of all, the examples you used to describe ADHD in the show were incorrect. This guy's a doctor. The disorder isn't merely a function of fidgeting and not being able to pay attention. He said, in real life, when children walk into the ER or his family practice with parents,

they fail at grade school because they can't pay attention long enough to learn the basic requirements. to pass. They affect the function of the class on a daily basis, because blah, blah, blah. This sounds like their problems occur both at home at school to the point where they can't even sit still to watch movies or TV shows or even read a book. He says, ultimately, these children can't function in society.

And parents aren't, he's basically just disagreeing to you. Parents aren't qualified to diagnose ADHD. Yeah. Having said all this, the disease is overdiagnosed. Yeah, that was. instances where the parents fake illness and their children, too, so I guess he's agreeing with you. I don't know. So, aren't they both?

Oh, sorry. Go ahead. Well, I mean, aren't they both true? Aren't, like, I think we all know parents that, like, overdiagnosed their own kids and ascribe problems their kids don't have, you know, as, like, instead of admitting that maybe they need to work harder as parents, you know, maybe their kids just have a personality that they don't quite comprehend. Or maybe they just kind of don't want to put the work in and they don't want to admit their kids are lazy. But at the same time, I feel like there's a lot of people that go undiagnosed. A buddy of mine, he's getting married. His wife's pregnant.

So they went to the doctor. And in Arizona, like, they screen both the husband and the wife for medical problems. And they were like, yeah, your wife's fine. You've got ADD. Like, you have a serious case of ADHD. He's like 31. And I've always thought he did. I'm like, this guy can't focus.

This guy can't get anything done. he's angry all the time. You know, I don't think that's the only problem he has. But I just thought that that was cool that, you know, at age 31, he could walk out of a hospital and hopefully get a better life for himself. Wait, why did they pick that up in the screening? What kind of screening was there? He threw an ultrasound.

And then he started screaming for riddling. He said, I need riddling now. And so, those were two kind of giveaways. You know, so, Dick, I read that doctor's email. I was taking a shit. And that's about as much respect as I have for that email. And I was reading it. And I was like, okay.

let me wipe my ass and I'll go to my computer. With your phone. Yeah. You know, like it was like spackle. Like I was trying to get, you know, anyway. Like, like grout. You know how you get that stuff in there between grout? Yeah.

Between my butt. Trial. Yeah. It was like a trow on. Anyway, so then I went to the, I went to my computer. No, let's hear more about what you did to your ass crash. As you refute this doctor's email. Exactly.

Let's just say it was glued together. with poop. Okay. So then what did you do? So I got up with my poopy ass. No, but seriously, I wipe well. So I went to my computer and I sat down... I'm having that kind of hard to believe. You're a hairy guy.

Yeah. Well, believe it, buddy. You want to say you want to take a look? No, thank you. Spotless. I could get a good look at a butcher's ass by taking his... Well, you know the rest. You can eat off of my ass.

so clean down there. What did you do then? Oh yeah. So anyway, back to the doctor's email. I looked up on the CDC's website because I knew I read this before. I linked to eight different studies guys. Go back to that article, the website on the problem for that episode and I

linked to eight different articles like pages and pages of research I did and again, after that doctor sent that email I went to the CDC's website and I said of course, just like I said in the episode that parents often diagnosed their kids with ADD and they just go to the doctor. There's no way, there's no actual screening they do.

It's just like a bunch of tests they do, some quizzes they give sometimes. Some doctors give quizzes, some don't. It's like totally up in the air. There's no, it doesn't seem like there's any kind of standard for this diagnosis, and it's way over-diagnosed. Okay. Well, I totally understand that. I mean, who, as opposed to like being a good parent who takes care of their kid, wouldn't it be easier to give them a pill that makes them do what you tell them? I totally buy that.

At the same time, you know, medicine changes over the course of years and decades. My father's best friend was mentally challenged. But because they were in Greece in the 1950s, their solution was to lock him in a closet and beat him with a stick until his grades improved and he behaved. Like, that's how you treated mentally challenged people in the 1950s in Greece. They don't do that anymore because our understanding of these mental illnesses change. And so, you know, as science, There's going to be some overdiagnosing.

There's going to be some under-diagnosing. I mean, people always talk about autism being way too over-diagnosed these days. But back then, if you were autistic, they were just like, you're a fucking retard. Like, you know, neither are great. That's how science works. That explains what happened to Angelo's mom. She's from Greece. Oh, boy, I got locked in a closet.

Poor thing. Beat up with sticks. Dick. What? Hating on Angelo's mom. Poor thing. Yeah, poor, I like Angelo's mom. I think she's great.

All right, let's do some problems. Yeah, I got a big problem, guys. Big problem this week. Facebook video. Yeah. I do hate videos. I don't like Facebook video. I don't like Facebook, and I don't like Facebook videos.

Guys, I am so, first of all, I'm so fucking tired of opening up Facebook and going to my news feed and having just video after video after video load. Because Facebook is tinkering with their edge rank algorithm and forcing videos into your news feed. because they know that the real money these days online is in video advertising, because that's a captive audience that's watching your ad. And Facebook's next step is to put ads on these videos that they keep shoving down our throats, that are auto-playing on our newsfeed,

that slow down your browser, that distract you, that are annoying. And also, what, Dick? You look like you're thinking here. Well, because I've seen some pretty funny videos on Facebook recently. Yeah, you mean you've seen some videos stolen from YouTube and post it on Facebook. I don't care how they got there.

Right. They're funny. I mean, yeah. Sure, okay, sure. I don't know where this bike came from. It just fell off the back of a truck, I guess. Yeah, how much is it? Like you wouldn't take a bike that fell off a truck.

Yeah. No, I wouldn't take a... Wait, if it actually fell off a truck, Sean, but that's not really how it's... You wouldn't buy something stolen? No, generally not. I know the expression. Well, someone's going to buy it.

Why not you? It's going to be some unscrupulous character. It's not going to be me. I'm not going to support that. In fact, one time in Chicago, some guy came up to me and wanted to sell me an iPhone or an iPod, one of the two. And he came to the wrong guy, obviously. I don't like his problem. Listen, sir.

I wouldn't even buy this if it was installed. Yeah, I'll probably pay you to shut up. So this guy came up to me trying to sell me this crappy inferior Apple product that doesn't have as many features as the other products that have been on the market for years. And this guy, you're definitely not a cop because you're retarded. Oh, my God. So he tries to sell me this thing. And I kept shooting him down. I'm like, guy, listen, you came to the wrong dude.

I don't buy this kind of stuff. And I buy this kind of stuff. I mean Apple products. I don't touch the stuff It's awful I don't want it And he thought it was a negotiating tactic So he kept dropping his price

Lower and lower and lower And every time I kept trying to walk away from the guy I'm like really man I mean that's a good deal Even the offer that you first came to me with It was like $100 $100 I'm like even that was a good deal I just don't want it

And by the end of it It was like $30 and he was about to budge to $25 And had he budged to $25 I would have still said no and walked away. But he was so disappointed. He felt like he was a bad negotiator, which he was because he's selling Apple products.

That's the lesson. That's the takeaway there. So I have a question about your problem. Yeah. Now, it seems like there's two minds in this room. You're not talking about sharing a video to Facebook. You're talking about Facebook video advertising in platform Facebook video usage, correct? Or incorrect?

Yeah. Where it shows up in the news feed automatically. No, I'm not talking about people's videos, right? No, no, no, no, it's not. I'm not talking about people who upload their own videos to Facebook. Right. That's native content that you have made that you're uploading to Facebook. What's Facebook video?

Yeah, what do you mean? So it's the way that Facebook, that people on Facebook share videos online. So here's how it usually happens. Some morning zoo radio show, they'll go to YouTube, they'll find a funny clip. Yeah. And then they'll just take it and watermark it with their stupid morning radio station, right? Okay. They'll upload it to their channel, and then people will, their listeners and fans will think that, well, this is a funny video, I'm going to click share.

Yeah. And they click share on their news feed, and it just shows up, and it just racks up millions of views. Or does it? Nobody really knows for sure, because Facebook cheats with their view algorithm. They inflate their numbers? Uh-huh. Oh, boy, do they? Do you have any proof of that?

I sure do. I have proof of it as well. Yeah, let's hear what do you got to serious? Yeah, it's just so, you know, Facebook wants to charge as much as possible for its advertising, obviously. You know, you're an ad man. Like, so what Facebook does is they set all their videos to auto play. And I'm talking about advertising only. I'm not talking about like a YouTube video of like a camel farting or something.

Which, by the way, is great. I mean, let's say Coca-Cola makes a 15-second digital ad and it's Facebook. native. So the moment you open up Facebook on your phone and you scroll past this video, it starts to play. Right. After one second, it counts as a view. So they charge Coca-Cola, millions of millions dollars for all these views that don't really exist. They're these phantom views because you just kept scrolling and scrolling. So what they've done is they've made Facebook more annoying by having it auto-play all this content I don't want to see, slowing down my phone, costing me data because I, you know, I don't have unlimited data.

I've got a cap. So it starts to play this video. You know, God forbid, it's not muted. Then all of a sudden I'm listening to this thing I didn't ask for. So Facebook can get richer. It's just, it's like a big scam. And I think it's stupid. It is a big scam.

I have here an article, serious. I don't think it's one second. I think it's three from everything I've read. But this article. It used to be one. Maybe they, maybe they increased it to three to be cool. But I still think three is stupid. What?

Everyone was probably getting shitty ROI. They are. They absolutely were. And so a lot of advertise, like, you know, I can't name them, but a fairly big client was like, we are no longer advertising on Facebook video until they fix this. Oh, it's awful. Yeah. They straight up said, no Facebook video spends. You can spend on Twitter, you can't spend on Facebook until they stop cheating. And it took, you know, and until enough companies do this, Facebook is going to continue to cheat. One second to three seconds is not that much different. It's still shitty. It's really shitty. I have an article. here from Medium. It's called

Theft Lies and Facebook Video. And this guy talks about how Facebook is inflating their numbers. Facebook counts the view at the three second mark, whether or not the viewer has even turned on the sound in the midst of a precipitous decline in retention. At that moment, 90% of people scrolling the page are still watching, according to Facebook.

The silent animated gif. But by 30 seconds, when viewership actually should be claimed, only 20% are watching. So 90% of people are being counted, but only 20% of people are actually watching the content. And there's this graph that shows the Facebook retention rate. It is abysmal. If YouTube videos got this kind of retention rate, YouTube would be in the gutter. This is absolutely awful.

Now, you could say, who gives a shit? Who gives a shit of a giant corporation is ripping off another giant corporation? I think that's fair. It's just fucking annoying to me when, like, you know, I'm just trying to see pictures of my niece. I'm on the bus. Like, I'm upset. I'm over to Facebook. All of a sudden, some flashing bullshit video with a dancing coat can or whatever pops on.

It's just an annoying way to experience content. That's it. That's the problem in my mind. It's annoying. Well, also, Dick, you said at the top, who cares it's funny. But the thing is, when it's stolen, it's stolen from people like me. Well, that's a different problem. If you want to, by the way, I apologize for cutting you off there.

If you want to talk about content thieves, that's different. Well, no, no, this is the majority of the content on, no one is creating Facebook native content. This is all stolen content. There's maybe like five to ten percent of people are creating, and these are big websites that are creating content native to Facebook, but it's all stolen shit. One of the worst notorious content aggregators on Facebook right now is this guy named Soflo Antonio. There's this big, again, H3-H3 productions did a big thing about them, but Sofla Antonio was stealing everyone's videos, right? And under the guise of fair use, he'd record a three-second bumper. at the top of it. He would say,

he would say, hey guys, here's me, here's how I look when I'm driving a car. And then he'd cut to someone else's viral vine video. It's like, no, it's shithead. That's a different person. You had nothing to do with this content. And by the way, that's the same joke they're making. You're just stealing their content and throwing your shitty

fucking watermark on it. And Facebook is starting to roll out ads. They're starting to experiment with ads on this platform. They're trying to monetize videos, right, to compete with YouTube. So they went to Sofalo Antonio, believe it or not, as one of the first people they wanted to monetize for content, his stolen-ass content from fucking YouTube.

And he, they, there's this rabbit hole goes so deep. They even found out that the SoFlo guy created a second shadow puppet account that he was crediting for the content that he took, right? Oh, that's pretty smart. That's really clever. Oh, he got caught. So he worked for a while. I mean, he made money for a while, clearly.

It's like, that's all, like every scam ends. But if you can keep the money, great. Is there any repercussions for any of these people? Everyone's just stealing each other's shitting cat, like all day, reacting to whatever. That's the thing. Driving their car. That's the thing. When Facebook first started out, I would find my stolen content on there a lot.

And I would just file a takedown notice. I'd say, hey, guys, either I would first reach out to the creator. I'd say, hey, please take this down. You didn't credit me. You stole it for me, et cetera, et cetera. And sometimes it's innocuous. Sometimes people say, oh, I'm sorry, I didn't steal it from you. I saw it on this other website that stole it from you.

I'm like, okay, fine, whatever. Take it down. Or credit me, either way. Because for small-time creators, like people who are small to mid-level, it really hurts your bottom line. It really hurts you because this content is just aggregated out there without any credit, without any click-throughs, and without growing your personal brand. And as someone who's not a content creator who doesn't create content on YouTube, you guys wouldn't understand this. But for me, I do a lot on YouTube, and I work really hard on my videos.

And I pay money out of my pocket to hire an editor to work on my videos. And I pay for produced clips. I pay for stock photos, and I pay for stock videos, and I license images and sound effects and graphics and music and everything. And for someone like me to then have to sit there and watch some shithead morning radio zoo profit off of my hard work is really intolerable. It's really hard to stomach. videos with your face talking to the camera? Sure.

Absolutely. They'll even do it on YouTube, but at least YouTube has built into its system some way to take that stuff down if someone is just stealing your content. I mean, people will do it with anything popular. Why isn't there a huge lawsuit for this? Wow. Why isn't there like a big class action lawsuits with all these creators

are always complaining about this stuff? I think it's, I think, I mean, you probably know more about this than I do, but I think it's like, well, what law are you breaking? I bet there's a lot of interstate commerce at play. You know, it's like, you ever hear like if someone steals your identity, it's like really hard to fucking take them to court? Because like, yeah. How are you going to prove it's you? It's like if there's a robot of you, right? Like the judge is not going to know,

which is the real you. No, what they do is like the fake you and you will like swap positions a bunch. Yeah. And then you'll be like, it's me. No, it's me. And, you know, it's pretty funny. Yeah. Yeah. But, uh, but I mean, you know, a lot of it is interstate commerce. Like if someone steals Maddox's video that he made in California in Iowa, there's a problem there. Well, you know, what court has jurisdiction? Well, what law did you break? Did you break a law in California but not in Iowa?

Well, the guy's in Iowa. What are you going to do extra item to California? Blah, blah, blah. All this shit sucks. The internet makes no sense. Yeah, it sucks. No, you break copyright laws. This is essentially another Viacom.

What's happening? Like, Viacom originally, the whole reason YouTube has the DMCA take down and they have automatic content ID is because of Viacom. Viacom brought a $1 billion lawsuit, I believe, against YouTube a long time ago. Yeah, and it was a big lawsuit, and YouTube told the judge, I think, in that case, I think they may have settled or they let it go. They dropped the case.

But they essentially said, look, we are protected under the Safe Harbor Act. I think the Safe Harbor Act online means that if you're a large content, I guess host. Right. And people upload a lot of content. It's impossible to police them all, right? Yeah. So you're protected under safe harbor, but the judge said, well, that's not good enough because there are ways you can prevent some of this. There is content ID technology, and that's why Google developed this content ID technology to assuage the VALICOMs of this world.

And there's no reason, like, Facebook has some of the most sophisticated face detection software in the world. They can do content matching anytime, anywhere they please. They're just not doing it. because they want to artificially inflate these numbers. It sucks. Yeah, this medium article goes on. It says this might seem like it's in a victimless crime, but it fundamentally values the number one metric of online video,

which is the watch rate and the retention time. The view is the thing that everyone talks about, and it's the thing that creators sell to advertisers in order to make a living. Applying that word to something that is far less valuable is going to be extremely disruptive to creators. Ad agencies and brands are confused enough, without Facebook muddying the waters and calling something a view when it isn't one.

Well, I saw this thing on YouTube. I don't remember what the guy's name was, but his schstick is he's got two little figures talking to each other and one guy has like a big nose and the other one has a big chin. Great A under A.

Is that it? Yeah, Great A&A and A. He did this big video about how so much content theft goes on on YouTube and the guys who steal the content will be huge guys. They'll get all the money from all the views and then YouTube will shut them down

and just not and not give all the money to the guy whose video they determined it was. Yeah. I'll just let the guy keep the money. I was like, well, uh, is that there, are they the cops here? They're just like taking the money and keeping it. Who's, who the fuck is, who's holding these people accountable for this stuff? Nobody? Well, it's funny because with you, because YouTube is both the platform and the advertiser, you know, with YouTube adsense. Like, what's the gap between content and payment? Like, three months or is there a cap on it? Like, after you break $50, like, at what point do you get paid for your YouTube video?

Well, I am with an MCN called Full Screen. Full Screen is the largest MCN out there. And MCN stands for multi-channel network. And I believe the cap is $50 or $100 that you have to accrue in revenue for them to pay out. And then the payment is once every 30 days. Yeah, I mean, they have all the information. Right. Like, it seems like it would be super easy for, you know, just create a gap,

create a 30-day or 60-day lag in the payment. And then determine whether or not this person actually created their content. If there was like a DMC takedown against it, or Maddox, who's like, you know, you're a YouTube partner. You know, you shoot stuff at the YouTube space all the time. Like, they know who you are. You know, if you find out that someone's still in your content, God, you think they'd make it easy.

Somebody's going to sue the fuck out of them. That's the only thing that's going to change is. But the difficulty here is, Dick, is that YouTube is a blessing and a curse, because it has democratized distribution. Now anyone with a good idea and enough time. A fucking iPhone. Yeah. Well, or a better phone, which is on the market for years.

Better resolution. They're waterproof. They have better image stabilization technology. All the smartest nerds use it. Anyway, so anyone can create content and upload it to YouTube now. And that's the problem. No, well, it can be. Yeah, there's no gatekeepers.

It can be Sean. Riffraff's getting through the gate over here. What used to not be entertainment, like a man standing still screaming about something, now gets watched by hundreds of thousands of people. There used to be a way to stop this. Yeah. Well, there's, so there are all these, there are all these. Somebody sends me a YouTube video, nothing on earth will make me watch that fucking thing.

You watch YouTube videos. Give me a summary. No joke. All joking aside, I consume more YouTube content than actual TV content these days. I watch YouTube way more than I'd watch TV. There's certain YouTube creators. I finally found some YouTube creators online who I consistently like their content. In fact, Dick, you mentioned one of them.

Great A under A is a great YouTube channel. If you guys haven't seen it, check it out. Great A under A. It's this guy who does these rants in this really heavy British accent. Yeah, I don't know what ethnicity he is. Yeah, he's in the UK. He was a math teacher. His identity is still kind of mysterious,

but his content is pretty solid, and then there's a bunch of people on YouTube now who are essentially doing, they're almost like slightly visual podcasts. So I'll go to their channels and I'll watch them, and they'll throw some content on there, some visual content as well. But it's pretty entertaining content.

Anyway, because you have all these new people coming up, They're mid to large-sized channels. And by mid-to-large-size, I mean, anywhere from, I don't know, anywhere from like 100,000 to a million subscribers to give you an idea. Now, their channels are big, and they're making money. They're making a living off of their YouTube channels. However, they're not big enough to be this huge corporate entity that will then go to Facebook and say,

take down our content and we're going to sue you. That's what the problem is today. A lot of these content creators are just, they're big but not big enough to do anything about it. You need an Aaron Brockovich. She took on the whole government. Yeah? Remember that scene where she served those other lawyers water?

Yeah. And they were like, oh, this water's delicious. Where's his water from? And she's like, I peed in the water. I'm Aaron Brogovich, water pisser. And they were like, oh, my God, no. And Mazur Lee was like, well, how did you get all this stuff? And she's like, they're called boobs, Ed.

That was a great scene, too. Let's talk more about Aaron Brockerman. So you got to sue these guys. You, you file a lawsuit against them. Well, a lot of times in order to have a lawsuit against a company and for it to stick, you have to prove damages. I can prove your damages. Well, sure. You're being with, like, this is money that you can prove could have gone to you because you look at, if a guy got 200,000 views on your content, let's see you monetize that at scale.

Well, you know, what's 200,000 views if you don't have an ad cents deal? What is it, like 10 cents per thousand or something? No, it's actually, so YouTube on average, depends on the UR MCN, depends on a lot of different things. For like a normal person, not for someone that has a deal. No, I think for a normal person, it is about $1.50 for 1,000 views. Yeah, so if someone has 200,000 views, $1.50 each, let's do some math. Okay, put a pause in here to the podcast, and I'm going to get out of my calculator. I'll be back in two days.

It's like 175. That's how much you'd be making. That's not $175,000 who's been taken out of your pocket. I can prove your damages. Right. But then you have to, first of all, you have to prove that that would have been monetized. You have to prove that you would have had that equivalent number of views on YouTube. I mean, you could make the case.

But then at the end of the day, the lawsuit costs time and money. If I'm going to be embroiled in some lawsuit that's going to last me weeks or months of my time, those are weeks and months of productivity that I have lost. You need full screen to do it. You need Aaron Brockovich to team up with full screen. It's class action. Everybody teams up. Exactly.

And you'll get a lot. lot of PR out of it, like when Adam Carolla went after those podcasting patents rolls. It raised his profile in the industry. This happens every time there's a new technology, though. When ever, like there was at the turn of the century, it wasn't that stupid, uh, that bullet to the moon movie, widely ripped off? Like, this kind of piracy seems to be rampant every time there's a new technology. That's absolutely true.

Well, it sucks and it hurts small and medium-sized creators. It actually does affect our bottom lines. It sucks to see our content stolen. And also, here's one of the most insidious. side effects of Facebook video. It has changed the way people are producing content online. Now, I've turned off Facebook video. I highly recommend everyone do this. Go to your settings in Facebook and there's a setting, thank God, that lets you turn off auto-playing videos. And since I've done that, I've seen hardly any videos in my news feed. I love it. However, I'll go to news sites and I'll

click play on their news article and I'll notice some weird phenomenon happening. There's no words. There's nobody saying anything. It's just playing some weird music. music track, and then it's showing a bunch of subtitles on the screen. And I thought, oh, of course, because they're creating content now for Facebook. They're creating Facebook native content, some of these news channels with no words, no dialogue, no sound effects, nothing, but just a music track playing, and then a bunch of subtitles, because they know that the Facebook native player doesn't play sound. So they leave it off for someone to click on on the sound? They don't even do any sound design anymore. Everything has

subtitles on it. So all the content you're going to consume from now on is going to be giant blocky, blocky text subtitles because of Facebook video. It's now a best practice to when you're creating a digital ad to have subtitles on it. Because you imagine that it's on Twitter, it's on Facebook, no one's going to turn the sound

on. We still want to, you know, we want to try to capture attention, so it has subtitles on it. That doesn't bother me that much. Oh, it's not. Who cares? Well, I'll tell you who cares is because you have limited screen real estate. And if you have to use some of that time, first of all, it takes time to produce those subtitles and it takes time to sync them up

and then you have to have everything completely transcribed and then that just adds to your production time. It's a lot of extra work that I don't want to have to do because of fucking Facebook. If you want to watch my video, watch it in the way I intended it to be seen. Don't watch it with fucking subtitles on. If you want to watch it with subtitles

then, you know, download a fucking movie and you can watch it with subtitles all day long. But don't make me change the way I produce content and do extra work because of your shitty format. Yeah, he's an artist for fuck's sake. Just like John Lennon. I hate John Lennon.

To get that reference, you've got to get our bonus episode. Oh man, I went on a good John Lennon rant for all those haters. Check it out, 133 on the website. One final note, I guess I'll just end on this

with the Facebook video is they've also changed the way that people click on videos. So normally the content, the way you click on a video to pause it on YouTube is what? You just click the video again, right? that pauses the video.

Facebook has started to change that, so it no longer pauses the video. However, what it does is it enlarges the window. No, Facebook, I don't want to enlarge the fucking window, you dipshits. I want to pause the fucking video so I can move on with my life. That's really funny. Facebook is just like, instead of allowing you to stop a thing that's annoying you, it pretends that it doesn't know that and it just makes it take up your whole goddamn phone.

That's great. I hate it so much. I love you, Mark Zuckerberg. You're a huge asshole and I love you. Take him to bed? Mark Zucker, do you love him that much? Well, it would have to be a comfortable mattress. I hope so.

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He's got, I can see them from here. There are three women in his bed right now. One of them is sleeping, so you know it's a good bed. It has nothing to do with Facebook videos. And you know it's a good podcast because one of them is sleeping. Always a good mattress and a bad podcast. That's how you know the Casper mattresses are comfortable.

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Scream that sexier, please. Okay. You know what? You know what, guys, I'm not, I don't need to, well, never mind. Okay. What were you going to say? All right, let's all take a jerk off break, and then let's, uh, come back and record more podcast.

All right, hysterious. What's your, what's your problem? My problem this week is political satire. Oh, good. Political satire. I see Maddox wincing. I hate political satire. I also hate political satire.

So much. Well, you know what? It's so smart. Go ahead. I'll prove it with stats. Okay. Okay. No.

Let's hear that it's shouting. Now Maddox is interested. Right. Will Farrell's George W. Bush impression closed. Zero Guantanamo Bays. Really? Zero Trump supporters were convinced to change their vote

after watching SNL's hilarious Racists for Trump sketch. And zero Democrats stopped loving Michael Moore after the scene in the movie, An American Carol, where a nuclear bomb destroys everything, but Michael Moore's giant ass. Can you believe it?

I can't believe it. It's true. These are stats. But wait a minute, wait a minute. How many Trump supporters switched to Bernie because of make Trump Trump again.

The Trump hashtag, surely the drunk hashtag was so eviscerating and so destructive to the man's political, to his policies, to the unwavering support of millions of, surely a hashtag

did something. Well, let me tell you, my slacktivist loving friend. Yes. The make Donald Drump again. segment of the John Oliver show last week tonight is officially the most watched piece of content in HBO history. Yeah. It was just, it was just, I read about it today in USA Today.

It is the video clip that has been watched the most out of anything HBO has ever made. The last episode of The Sopranos, the scene where the naked chick walked through some fire to get her goddamn dragons, everything. Yeah. And, however, how many Trump supporters no longer? support Trump because they found out his name was Drumpf? Absolutely. Fucking none. How many of those fucking hats

did they sell to retards? Yeah, exactly. Why, are you talking about Donald Trump? The Make America Gradyton hats and they're all retards. But here's the thing that serious. That clip that you're talking

about, which I highly recommend everyone watch. It's really well done. It's very funny. That's not my problem with it. It's only funny if you support that political side. No, it's not you blowhard. You can laugh at things that make fun of your position. I laugh at things that make fun of things that I believe in all the time.

So I brought in a comment at the top of this episode, making fun of my wallet thing. I mean, come on, you got to get over yourself. Like, funny is funny regardless, right? If it's funny, I'm going to laugh at it. I don't care what political side it's coming from. And honestly, I agree with that. One of the reasons I started listening, one of the reasons that I really liked the show was I was like, there's two really hilarious conservatives who were just yelling about all these policies that

I disagree with, but they're fucking hilarious. Now, I'm sorry to call you both conservatives. I know that you have different words for your political positions. But, like, as a huge flaming liberal from New York, I was like, these two conservatives are hysterical. That being said, my problem with political satire in the year 2016 is that it preaches to the choir. Yeah.

It doesn't, it's not a mechanism for persuasion. It's a mechanism for essentially reinforcing the opinion you already had when you clicked play. Because a conservative isn't going to watch anything John Oliver makes, and a liberal wasn't going to vote for Trump in the first place. The only reason this content exists is because it's monetizable entertainment. You know, it exists so that Slate on Monday morning can put out a little piece that's like, like John Oliver eviscerates Donald Trump with devastating takedown.

And it's like, no, he's got more delegates than ever. He's more powerful than ever before, you know. And so the bright parts of the world can be like, Can you believe this lymie Brit is making fun of a huge hero, Donald Trump? And everybody makes money and nobody's opinions are changed and nothing is fixed. It's built to turn you into a hype machine for HBO. Yeah. It's built to be a hashtag because you are stupid and have no opinions.

You could not make these withering criticisms on your own. So you just jump on board. John Oliver, you suction onto one of his crooked teeth and just start repeating. whatever he says. His teeth are very... Let's not make fun of the fan's teeth. He's got perfect teeth. Well, you guys...

Well, we've been yelling a lot. I want to hear what you have to say. You guys are saying a lot of pretty words. I like your words a lot. These are good. They're big. They're tremendous words. They're huge.

They're huge words. They're huge words. Smiling as though it's a joke. I'm sorry. It's only funny if you hate Trump. I'm sorry. No, it's not. You can laugh at yourself.

You can laugh at things that are genuinely funny. That's what I'm saying. But here's the thing, Astero's, if this were the case that only people who watch political satire are watching it to reaffirm their point of view, then there would be no such thing as conservative authors going on the Daily Show or conservative authors going on the Colbert Report or John Oliver. Well, John Oliver doesn't really have guests on his show, but there's a thing in the publishing industry, this phenomenon called the Colbert Bump or the Stewart Bump. And that's when authors, conservative or liberal, go on these shows, both, they all see bumps in their book sales. Now, you cannot tell me that it's only one political party watching this content

because political satire is the one thing that transcends your political point of view. Now, things like... I don't think hysterious is saying that. Well, things like Breitbart and things like Drudge Report and MSNBC or Fox News, whatever, they are preaching very much to the choir. And people who consume their content are very staunchly conservative. Political satire specifically is something that transcends lines. It should.

I just don't think it does in 2016. I agree that in the days of Tammany Hall when like the political cartoon essentially took down a crooked establishment in New York. Like, yeah, political satire had an effect. Even in the 1970s when, you know, fucking Chevy Chase has fallen off a ladder and calling Gerald Ford a bumbling asshole. Like the whole country was like, yeah, that guy is a bumbling asshole. Yeah, I agree that it used to. but the specific thing that you're saying about, like a conservative author going on the talk show portion

of a show that's watched by a million people and getting more book sales, well, it's like, well, yeah, if that guy went on the Today Show, they'd probably see a bump in their fucking book sales too because millions of people watch the Today Show. I mean, that's PR. No, the Today Show is apolitical. You're talking about supposedly, right,

that people would say that John Stewart's show when he was on Comedy Central was liberal. It was liberal. It was liberal leaning, and same with Colbert Report. They would say that Colbert Report was liberal leaning. Yeah. Right? So you wouldn't expect a bump in conservative authors' books from a liberal audience.

Why not? Why wouldn't they pick up the opposition's book just to be informed? Well, then you're undermining your own argument here. Now, honestly, we're discussing two different things. I'm talking about comedic content that is political satire. I'm talking about when SNL has a guy go on stage and be like, I'm Trump. Bumper Dump a do.

I'm stupid, I eat poop. Like that, like, that sucks. I'm not talking about William Crystal. But that's the conversation we're all having now, is drump is how stupid his hair is. Yeah, exactly. That's the political conversation. Never mind that who's ever president could set the direction of the country for 50, 100 years by picking three Supreme Court justices. His hair is stupid.

That's why. A bird flew on to Burma's podium. That's why. Yeah, Hillary Clinton talks like a robot. Oh, she doesn't know. how to relate to people. And we've got a generation of people who are proud that

this is where they get their political opinions from John Oliver. How many fucking kids adults, voting adults, say, oh, I get my news from comedians. Not from, not from the news or from politicians. You know what that says? You have a

shitty attention span and you don't want to pay attention to what matters. Yeah, that you need the sugar. You want bite-sized, happy meal-sized, treats that immediately vindicate every little impulse you have and you don't have to think for a second. What's wrong with Trump? His name used to be drumpf. That's it.

You know, go buy a hat, you stupid seal. From a, from a fucking 10-minute video, you took a five-second blurb and that's all you got from it. Talk about people who, no, it wasn't shit. That video was so informative and so well done. Oh, it was horrible. No, it absolutely was. It was horribly done. You're sitting here chastising people who get their information in bite-sized piece.

pieces because they don't have an attention span yet all you can uh hone in on is drump yeah that was a five second joke at the tail end of a brilliantly done segment people have dissected that video better than me john moll and you have torn it apart it was all horseshit no it wasn't no it wasn't if it wasn't horseshit it would have been two-sided it was all 100% against trump it was just built for that fucking audience nobody is that one-sided it couldn't possibly be the case where you build a perfect video against one person Like, you couldn't do that against Hillary and she's the devil. There's good and bad.

If you're gonna actually be, like if you're pretending to be a fucking journalist, these fucking comedians like John Oliver, they act like journalists. But when you bust them for having no journalistic integrity, cherry picking everything and giving you an incredibly biased view of an event or a person like Trump, they just say, well, we're just comedians. Well, we're just comedians. Like, yeah, but you're acting like a fucking journalist, you prick.

But Dick, all he did, That's what he's doing. No, all he did, he's not a journalist, and he's not pretending to be. Oh, yes, he is. No, he's not. It's a comedy show, and that's why political satire specifically is important, because it cuts through the political discourse. People who are not going to be going to Newsmax from the left,

and people are not going to be going to MSNBC from the right. They're not interested in that. They just want to reaffirm their worldview. However, a comedy show is the one fucking hope that we have. The one fucking hope that someone is going to click on it just to be entertained for a few minutes. and get a laugh and maybe learn a thing or two. Yeah, some people are going to be staunchly conservative

or staunchly liberal in whatever opinions they have of the world. Of course, but John Oliver is not doing this under the pretense of being a journalist. He's doing a comedy show. Okay, listen, whether, look, personally, I disagree that John Oliver is presenting himself as a journalist.

I think he's presenting himself. Behind the news desk and a suit. It's a parody. I mean, weekend update was a parody of the news. Until it wasn't. Until John Stewart started giving gigantic speeches, in Washington, D.C. about returning to say, what was his thing?

Return to reason? That's a, what a hilarious name. Look, I know that comedians dabble in politics. I mean, for Christ's sakes, we have a, you know, Al Franken is a senator. But I don't want to parse it. I mean, honestly, that's not my problem with it. My problem isn't that they have the pre. My problem isn't that like they say their comedians when it's convenient and they say

their newsmen when it's convenient. Yeah, I mean, that does have. happen, but whatever. If it's funny, it's funny. My problem is that political satire is now hyper-targeted. If you see John Oliver, if you see Trevor Noah, if you see Stephen Colbert in Facebook, you're not going to click it. No.

Because you're like, these guys are all fucking liberals. They're in the tank for Hillary. They're in a tank for Bernie. Seriously, what evidence do you have for any of this? You're saying that no one, like, it's not persuading to anyone and nobody's clicking through. Here's the thing. There is a certain point, right, even with my own content.

Yeah. Where when my content breaches, a certain threshold of viewers, all bets are out the window. Well, for example, I produced a little parody of the stupid meme that was floating around a couple of months ago. And my version of it got like at least 34 to 40 million views. And after a certain point, I'm no longer preaching to my audience. I'm no longer reaching my audience. I'm reaching an audience I never intended to. I started reaching mothers and grandmothers and daughters and grandparents and people who,

would never read or consume my content were coming to my page and sending me hate mail because they were, that was reaching a huge, huge audience. Now, there's a point where this John Oliver clip has to have penetrated the other side. Now, there's, I don't see any evidence to suggest that, that it's so targeted that only liberals are watching John Oliver, et cetera, or only conservatives are watching a conservative satirist if you can find one. There isn't one. I mean, there's, there's, there's, what's his name?

There's, the guy that hosted update in the 90s who, after 9-11, Dennis Miller. There's Dennis Miller. But he's not a satirist. Well, he goes, I mean, he has a stand-up special on Netflix, like, where the opening joke is like, what's the name of the current governor of California, Jerry Brown, where he's like, man, Jerry Brown stinks, boop-boopy-doo. Right, Charlemagne, Jerry Brown.

Like, he tries, you know. And the reason he is a conservative stand-up comedian is because he can make money at it. He can sell tickets to conservatives, you know. That's- Well, you don't think he is? I know he's a conservative. I absolutely, because he's a 9-11 conservative. He's one of those guys that like shit their pants after 9-11.

It was like, I'm a conservative now. I'm scared I'm going to die. I did, but it was a coincidence. Well, I don't want to. We've discussed your pants in the, I don't want to bring up your pants. Well, here's what I'll say about the make Donald Drump again thing. If it did have an effect on every voter, then I don't think Trump would be as strong as he is. That's the most, I'm sorry?

No, you're right. It doesn't. Yeah. I mean, he's, this is the most popular piece of content in the history. of home box office, a giant corporation owned by a bigger corporation. We've all seen this content. And is it going to change the way any of us vote? Like, I was not going to vote for Trump before. I'm not going to vote for Trump now. I feel better that I saw some Trump. The reason I think current political satire is useless is that it's sort of outrage porn in a different form.

We all like to feel outraged about something back when Stewart was on the daily show. It's not even, you don't get outraged, just have this smug sense of stuff. Like, I'm that clever. That's right. That guy's that clever and he thinks that I hate Trump too. I'm that clever. Yeah, and then I'm going to get to a party later that night and I'm going to spit out John Stewart's opinion and I'm going to feel better about it. It's a way to arm each. And look, this is just my opinion. It's, I feel like it's a way to arm each side with talking points that, like, reinforce their positions. I feel like it's a way to state what you think in a more clever way. For example, when John Stewart, John Stewart had a year's long campaign against Fox News. Every night

you could tune in and watch outrageous Fox News clips. Clips of Fox News correspondents on Fox and Friends, like saying the dumbest things in the world. And I watch that. I'm like, ha, ha, I don't watch Fox News. I'm smarter than that. But here's the problem. Here's my problem. I'm sorry.

I know you. I can take a break if you want to talk. I'm sorry. I want to say something. So here's the thing. As someone who is a professional satirist, it's my job to write satire. My whole entire career, I have gotten notes. my whole entire career from people

who come to my website and they say, Maddox, I can see through your writing and I can see the message you're trying to say here, but you say it in such a way that's sarcastic and caustic and abrasive, why don't you clean up your act and clean up your language so that people will take you more seriously? And I write back to them with so much anger and vitriol because they don't get what I'm doing.

The way that I speak and the way that I present my material reaches an audience that academics don't. People who are coming to my website are 13-year-old kids, 15-year-old kids, kids who are dejected, kids who don't have a connection, kids who don't feel connected in society, kids who might also feel like shit's kind of fucked up and they want to read the information that I'm providing to them in a way that speaks to them.

I'm speaking to a certain audience and I'm cutting through the same bullshit. Like you could take essentially the arguments that I make on my website. A lot of them are very academic. And then take out the cuss words and the funny images and things like that and make it a very dry academic paper. And then who's going to read it?

Fucking academics. I don't have a problem with your content. I like your content. But to come full circle here, right? So just like I produce content that cuts through and reaches people that would never be reached by this message, that's exactly what political satire

can do when it's done best. And that John Oliver clip, Dick, I'm with you 100%. John Oliver is biased as shit. I've seen some of his segments The whole fucking company is Well I've seen some of his segments Where he's like John Oliver Will do this thing where he'll

Present an argument for something And he knows his researchers You can pick up on it if you listen carefully But his researchers have found the counter argument Because he did this recently I think on this Water debate And he'll address the counter argument By dismissing it in a very clever way

He'll present it He'll say well sure X Y and Z is true But and then and then he'll give his rebuttal. No, no, no, it's never like that. It's more like, it's more like, you know, but, and then he'll, he'll present his other side of the argument, but without really addressing the, the, uh, the root cause of the objection to it. Now, I'm, I'm able to,

to see that bias in his presenting and his material. And in spite of that, he still does some good material. Now, with a Trump piece that we're talking about, this Trump piece, he went into detail about Trump's policies and why they would never work, like Trump's wall. Like Trump's wall, his absurd wall that he's suggesting, saying that it's only going to cost something like $22 billion. Like, yeah, well, no, Trump originally estimated, he originally estimated $2 billion and then slowly crept up his estimation to $12 billion. And now they're saying that people are actually like taking him seriously because he's an actual candidate now. They're saying, well, now it looks like his wall is going to cost around $22 billion per year for maintenance. It's not going to cost that because Mexico is going to pay for it.

So don't worry about those numbers. But look. But that's a joke. Why is it a joke? Well, he's... Because that's something Trump said. Trump said, I'm going to make Mexico pay for it. It's a good idea.

If you can do it. Well, sure. How much fucking money do they have flying into Mexico every year? Threaten to stop it. If your neighbor... Stop giving them foreign aid. You know what? I don't want to discuss it.

I'm not going to get into talking about Trump's Canada. The point is it's not like it's not insane. Yeah, well, it is because... I think if your neighbor came to you and told you to build a wall. That happens. That is a real thing that happens. Would you be happy to? Would you shell out money for the wall? Or would you spend the money that you were going to spend on the wall on a lawyer to tell that kind of go fuck himself?

It depends whose dog was fucking up someone's lot. Fair enough. Walls get built. Okay. Are you out of your fucking mind? Mexico's an important trade partner. We do business back and forth. That's billions of dollars.

We do business one way. No, absolutely not. They buy our oil. We sell them products, vice versa. It would be chaos. And first of all, let's see. I'm not sure curious as why none of these people want to close the border, why none of the politicians want to close the border. Did you watch?

It only helps businesses. Dick, did you? It only helps big businesses. Did, what, to, to keep the borders open? To have free labor coming in. In Texas. We're talking about political satire here. Please, for Christ's sake.

Hold on. Yeah, exactly. Look, here's what I'm going to say. Like, all right, you watched that whole Donald Trump against segment. I did too. I watched the whole thing. I thought it was great. It taught me a lot of stuff about Donald Trump's.

past that I think is hilarious and blah, blah, blah. I wasn't going to vote for Donald Trump to begin with. I know, but that's you. Well, that's what I'm saying. It's me. What I'm saying is the current state of political satire is polarizing because people... It's not satire. It's not satire.

It's preaching to audiences that consume. Now, I'm sorry, I just kind of want to get the rest of this out. Go ahead. Like, so John Stewart's marquee issue is this. It's getting relief to 9-11. first responders. Like, I know people who worked at 9-11 for months

and years, and they are sick now because of it, and sometimes they get $10. Like, sometimes they get nothing. What do you mean? Sometimes they get $10? From whom? From the 9-11 commission of New York, it'll send them a survey every year that's like, so how's your breathing? So, are you dead

yet? Do you have cancer yet? Like... I don't get $10 from that. And then wrapped up in that survey, and I've seen it is a $10 bill. That's like, here's $10 for your thanks the 9-11 commission, aka the people that told you that it was safe to work at 9-11 because they didn't want to cause a national panic. Now, that is John Stewart's marquee issue. John Stewart wants the Congress to pay for the health care for 9-11 first responders.

That's great, right? Yeah. Now, imagine John Stewart went on the Daily Show every single night and spent five minutes a night talking about 9-11 first responders. You'd get bored of it. you'd be like, this isn't funny. I've seen this before. I'm going to see who else is up against John Stewart.

That's the problem with current political satire being monetized. It doesn't encourage actual deep thought. It doesn't encourage deep dives into issues. And it doesn't encourage real change. Because one week I'll be watching John Oliver and he'll be talking about highway robbery. You know, the phenomenon where cops, if they find money, they can claim it. Yeah. And then I'll be watching it.

I'll be like, oh my God, the highway robbery is terrible. This is awful. I'm outraged. Someone's got to do something about this. And next week he'll be like, Miss America, it's sexist. And I'll be watching that. I'll be like, Miss America's sexist. Oh my God. Keep me how as sexist as this is? Yeah, why aren't there any men?

I'm not, exactly. Hot dudes like myself, like all of us. So the thing is, the current state of political satire is entertainment only. It is not meant to create political change. If it was, I would appreciate it. Jesus Christ. If it was, I would totally agree with you. I think that you're a satirist that goes out there and changes people's minds, but I think

that you're in the vast minority. I think most of these people, it's entertainment. It's comedy with a different name. I don't think anybody's mind has changed by any of this. Okay. Well, I mean, I'm here. Any of this political satire. Yeah.

Do you agree with the reason that he's saying? Because it's so, because it's all the time, it's relentlessly hitting you. And because it's monetized, it necessarily seeks the lowest common denominator. Like it's a hashtag. Well, it's not like a pithy statement on Trump. It's a fucking hashtag about his name. Two things. Sure.

Look, I agree. The Trump thing is obviously just trying to get under Trump's skin because he does seem like he's pretty thin skin with a lot of things. See, again, you're supporting the satirization element when we're saying it's a marketing ploy. Well, that's not targeting Trump. It's targeting shitheads on Facebook who just say, drum, drum, jump, drum, all day like it's funny. Of course. It's an element of promoting the show. but specifically with John Oliver, because it's not advertisement,

it's not sponsored by advertisement. It is a monetized platform, HBO. People are paying for that content. So I do trust that the corporate influence on that satire is minimal, except for HBO, of course, which is left-leaning. The corporate influence on HBO is 100% from HBO. Whereas anybody else, you get your advertisers and your mothership, a lot of different corporations

pull you one way or the other. HBO does not once you have a show on HBO, I know people have worked on HBO shows a bunch of my friends have, and once you are creating a show for HBO, they don't give you direction on the show itself.

You are a creator, they respect your autonomy for the most part. They're not telling John Oliver what to call. However, they are hiring John Oliver in the first place. They're hiring Bill Maher in the first place.

And the showrunners, probably. Yeah, they're hiring left- Dating. David Havard, Mom. Who's a guy from the Daily? They're hiring left-leaning creators. I totally get it. That's fine. But as far as pure satire goes, you would find it in a place like John Oliver's because

it's a monetized platform that people are paying for. No external corporations outside of that. That's not to say that he's not biased. Of course, he's biased. He's presenting a point of view. But I think that by simply dismissing him as being a liberal or dismissing a conservative for being conservative, like Bill O'Reilly or Sean Hannity or whatever, without really looking at what they're saying is a huge ad hominem attack.

You're not really divesting much of your time or energy until looking at what they're saying. Now, a long time ago... Who's doing that? A lot of people. A lot of people do that with my comedy all the time. People tweet at me all the time and say, like, I think you're funny, but all this liberal stuff you post really turns me off. I'm going to unfollow you. And it's like, well, what about my jokes? Like, do you want to pay attention to my jokes?

Oh, I'm sorry, I like Bernie. It's tough, though. It's tough to get hit with both. Like, you just get sick of it after a while. If someone's sick of my comedy, that's okay. It's not the comedy. It's the political stuff they get sick of. That's what I'm saying.

I understand it. Look, generally speaking, I don't do a lot of political stuff. On my website, I think in the entire span I've done it, I've published a few articles here and there about political stuff, and it's usually one per like four years or something like that. I did one on Clinton a long time ago. I did one on Bush. Bill. Bill. I did one on Bush.

And then I did one on Bush. in too. And you did, and you had Trump flying through space and a KKK mask being put onto him as he flew into the sun. Yeah, which is fair. And advised. And voted to hell. By the way. I loved it. You know what? You know what? I put that

out there. It's kind of a soft release. I've never really promoted it anywhere. And I did that for a couple of reasons. I wanted to see how videos would get shared organically on YouTube without any of my influence. And as of this, as of this recording, I believe it has over 100,000

views. So it's done really well on its own, organically. Cool. And the votes are pretty down. And when I published that video, I lost something like 3, 400 subscribers that day. I thought, well, I'll see, Adios, bitches. And I noticed that big drop.

But then the following week, I gained 5,000 percent subscribers, which is the biggest bump I've received since that video. So go fuck yourselves, people. This is the message there. But as far as changing people's minds as serious, because all I heard was from you and Sean is, I think it's not having an effect.

I think it's not persuading people. I was curious if any kind of political message or any kind of argument presented online has ever persuaded anyone. So I posed that question to my audience on Facebook a while ago. I asked a simple question. I said, has an argument you've ever read online

ever persuaded you? And I would say about two-thirds of the comment were from people who said, They were persuaded by an argument they read online. Well, but satire? Yeah, some of them were satire, Sean. Of course. Okay, because sure, anybody can be, when you have a different point of view put forth,

yeah, you're supposed to consider it. I mean, if you're being intellectually honest at all. Yeah, yeah. But I don't know about satire. Yeah, I've had things online change my mind. Guys, the biggest lie, the biggest deceit that we are fed today is that there is this two-side philosophy. There's the political and conservative side.

and we have to pick one or the other and both are diametrically opposed. It's not true. Both sides want a good life for everyone. Both sides want to have happiness. Both sides want what's best for this country. You have to believe that. You have to believe that the other side

wants what's good for this country. And if you start at that place, then you can start to look at things with an open mind and consider other possibilities rather than thinking that they are bad or necessarily evil or bigots or racist or, you know, left-leaning liberal cucks or whatever you want, whatever these stupid labels are.

Yeah, but you're the one that called Trump a bigot. You are the one that called Trump a racist. Dick, I do not have a problem with conservatives. I do not have a problem with liberals. I do have a problem with Trump. Trump is neither. Trump is an authoritarian. But you called him a bigot and a racist.

Because he is. I genuinely believe he is. You just said how everybody has to imagine that both sides are coming to make America better and to help everyone. and in the next sentence you say Donald Trump, who's a billionaire, who has no no need to run for president,

is a bigot and a racist because he says people doing illegal things should not be allowed to do those illegal things. That's not what he said. That's what he said? No, you're saying it in a better way. You're saying it more eloquently than Trump. Which would not get me percentage points in the polls.

It's too smart. Trump's own political advisor, his top political advisor recently stepped down from the job and said, she came out and she said, guys, this was all a joke. Trump never intended to become president. He wanted to become second place with a 12% vote. That's what she said. That's so sad that you would just take that at face value from a woman who just lost her job and who is by her own admission started the campaign not to win. She started to do her job to fail. That was her goal. That's what she said. Is there a stun gun in the room or I'm trying to talk about political satire here and how it doesn't affect change in its current form.

If you think about someone like, I guess the last guy that you would say was even and on the level was Jay Leno. Because conservatives and liberals both watched him. And like, you know, he would make fun of Bill Clinton being a cheater and he would make fun of George L. Bush being an idiot. But he didn't change anybody's mind. He was just making jokes. But you don't know that hysterios. You're not saying and you're not bringing any evidence at the table. I appreciate your, you know, like, you know, you're trying to...

It's very dismissive. It's very, like, pessimistic. Well, I guess I'll ask this, and I will ask it honestly. And if you guys want time to think about it, we can pause the recording. We don't do that. Like how? You just immediately answer before you're done talking. Fair enough.

What was the last piece of political satire that changed your mind? Political satire? Yeah, the last piece of political satire. And I'm going to think about this, too. like the last piece of political satire where I was like, oh. Here are the ones that stick out for me. Dana Carvey's Ross Perrault. Okay.

That was a big one. What, how did it change? Oh, no, no. I'm just naming political satire pieces to try to like crack the, oh, sure. My memory of what the fuck's political satire. Yeah. Will Ferrell's, uh, George W. Bush.

Really funny. It was very funny. Yeah. But it made me like him even more. That's what a lot of people said. Right? Yeah. About Wilfell's George Lee Bush.

Raycio Sands says that. The SNL gave him the, second election or gave him the election. Right. I can't think of it. What other political satire pieces have there even been? Well, I mean, SNL is the big one because SNL is a show that like, you have to think about it for a minute

to know that it's in the tank. Futurama, robot Nixon. Do you remember that one? Makes me like Nixon more. Like, it's like, broo. Nixon box. It made me think about the process, though, how in the future it's just, as it'll get more and more and more towards the center where you have

literally a clone running against another clone. That was the future. But I thought that anyway, he's talking about the episode where John Jackson runs against bitter rival Jack Johnson. But if you're going to tell me that the, that like it's a two-party system that's kind of rigged, then I already believe that. Feudorama didn't teach me anything new. I love Futurama. Futurama's hilarious. But, you know, what a Futurama teach me that Nixon's crooked? No shit, Sherlock. The guy's a literal criminal. Like, yeah, okay. But let's think, but I mean, honestly, I thought that was good satire, though.

I don't know. I can say what it taught me of the whole process. Of what? Have you ever read anything, Dick or Sterios, say, political in nature, maybe a meme or something? That's all I read. Okay. Well, have you ever read anything that persuaded you or changed your mind? Of course. And I guess, and again, like, we're talking, we're talking about political satire, not like a meme that makes me think that, like, oh, maybe

welfare is bad or maybe gun control is good or blah blah. I'm like, I'm talking about political satire in 2016. I'm talking about your Colbert's. I'm talking about your John Stewart's. Like, I'm not talking about, I'm not, my problem isn't unchangeable minds. Like, my problem is political satire and how it's ineffective. It's entertainment. It's my, and like, it exists purely to be monetized.

I disagree. I think that, uh, I think that political satire, I think that it's a very cynical view to think that political satire only exists to be monetized. I think that there are people who are genuine creators, like myself, who create satire that isn't monetized. But you don't create much political stuff, you said so yourself. Yeah, I don't.

I don't create much political stuff, but I do create a lot of satire and a lot of it isn't monetized. But that's his point. Political satire. But there is political satire out there that isn't monetized. It's basically most of my Facebook friends who write political satire. They're not monetizing it. They're just doing it because they're getting a lot. Are you sure that's satire? I know satire

when I see it. I don't need a satire tag. I mean, you know, I guess we could talk about the onion. I mean, the onion, I believe it's very left-leaning. It started out a bunch of guys in the state of Milwaukee. And then eventually they moved to New York. And then now they're in Chicago. So they go from liberal to liberal to liberal place. Fuck you.

And slip right by from the state of Milwaukee. Good state. But, I mean, the onion has never really changed my mind. And I've been reading it since I was a kid. I interned at the end. onion when I was 17. It's like, yeah, when they called George Dilley Bush an idiot, I'm like, yeah, I think that goes dumb.

Yeah, but I had to stop reading it as a gap more political. Why? Like, it's just not, like, I do think it's only funny if you have their political meaning at leaning at some point. Oh, come on. It's just, like, I know what's funny. And it's like, well, that's not funny anymore. And I'll, and I'll say this, I feel like political satire at this point is just, it's

just the specifics of the joke. It's not the joke itself. A nerd comedian will. go like blah blah blah is as stupid as jar binks and a feminist comedian you'll go like blah blah blah is as stupid as a man and a political comedian will go blah blah blah blah is as stupid as Donald Trump or like is as robotic as Hillary Clinton or is as old and out of touch as Bernie Sanders it's just a different punchline it's just a way for stupid people to think they're watching something smart yeah do you agree with that dick yeah that's why I couldn't read the onion anymore it's no longer smart okay

Hey, look at me. Look at how snarky you wish you were. All right. What's your problem, what's your problem, take? Well, my problem's a big one, too. This is going to be a long episode. This affects way more people than political satire.

Oh, yeah? Banging your funny bone. That's a hot date. What? The funny bone, have you heard of it? No, what's the, what do you? Well, it's not funny and it's not a bone. It's a bundle of nerves in your elbow.

I'm pretty sure. That's kind of funny. Look, it's the reverse of an orgasm. You mean cum goes into your elbow? Like, what happens? I'm being way more metaphorical than that. It's the reverse, I imagine an orgasm. Done.

Great. Doing it right now. Invert it. Okay, that's banging your funny bone. That's a, the inverted. The sound it makes in my mind is, horrible, horrible sound. You've got to get everything.

The feeling, the release, the feeling that you get with an orgasm, the build up, all happening in reverse time when you bang your funny bone. Oh, God, you're right. It's all squeezing into your body. The tension's getting greater and greater. You've got to work it out slowly.

It could never go away. That's the feeling. Do you get when you bang? It happens to men and women. It's a universal problem. It's a universal problem. What about transsexual? I don't know.

Do they have their elbows still? Are we allowed to call them elbows if it's a transsexual? I don't know. They're joint fluid. They're... Look, where's the worst... Where do you want to get hit in your body? Where's the worst place?

Your balls, right? Absolutely. Not for women. It's the one thing we have in common. The great equalizer is the banging the funny bone. Right? Is it? Huh.

Let me think about that. I guess... Would you rather get punched or bang your funny bone? I would rather be punched. Punched, yeah. Really? Be honest. Think about it.

Let's do both to him right now. Let's give it a real A-B test. Let's see which one hurts more. You know, what about the three stooges thing where you take two fingers and you're coming towards someone's eyes? That affects both men and women. Why don't you bring that in? But I have the thin hand defense. Easy to defend.

You can't protect your funny bone because you can't, what are you going to do? Walk around. You can't grab, you can't. You can't protect both elbows at the same time. Elbow pads, bro. Look, no, you're, Sean, your funny bone is exposed. Yes, it is. I'll bang that funny bone.

Yeah, let's bang it. Bang, show his funny bone. Sean, you don't even know where your fucking funny bone is, you idiot. Sean's grabbing his ankles. He's bending over. Yeah. You know what? I assume the position.

Yeah. I've got to say, this funny bone problem, I think, is actually a much bigger problem than to live a bigger problem. As if this were a brokered convention. I officially give all votes that would have reached political satire to the Funny Bone. I'm throwing in my life with Dick. Thank you. Make funny bones great again.

I looked up Funny Bone here. It says it's the part of the elbow over which the ulnar nerve passes. A knock on the funny bone. My head hurts. Stop saying that. A knock on the funny bone may cause numbness and pain along the forearm. and hand may cause pain. Who wrote this?

And then the second definition is a person's sense of humor as located in an imaginary physical organ. Wait, someone wrote that? Yeah, that's the first definition that comes up, yeah. Look, guys, it's proof that there's no God.

I think we can all. Absolutely. Everyone says that the ear is proof that there's a God. Yeah. Funny bonus is proof that there's no God. Why would God hate? Unless he hates us, unless God made a creature purely to suffer. Yeah.

That's possible. You know, that is the devil. If you actually... Absolutely. If you actually... If you actually... If you actually think about the, uh, the funny bone and how much pain it causes people,

uh, it really puts a lot of comedy club's names in context, doesn't it? Yeah, they are all painful. They are pretty painful. That's the last place I ever want to get invited is to a comedy club. Oh my God. I will find any excuse not to go to a comedy club and I'm a stand-up comedian who performs at them. Do you invite people to your shows? Do you feel bad?

I would never do that. And I tell my girlfriend all the time, you don't need to come see this. You can stay home. And then she goes, do you not want me at your show? And I'm like, no,

that's not what I'm saying. I'm trying to protect you. I'm just saying you'll be a better person for not coming. Yeah. You could do literally anything with that time and it'll be more productive. It's so weird because when Sean and I used to play music,

I would invite everyone. That's different. Well, that's what I'm saying. You're so funny about it because then you start performing comedy. You're like, oh, you know, please don't come. You don't have to come. I'm sorry in advance. Yeah, you're doing me a huge favor.

In order to get people out to comedy shows, you have to, like, be like, they'll be free beer there. And we're all going to hang out later and smoke weed. You have to, like, you have to promote the non-comedy show parts of the comedy show. All right. And a little comedy show might break out. Don't worry about that. What's more inconsiderate? Sure.

Posting political. satire on Facebook? Because I agree it's annoying. Oh, God, yes. It's super annoying. What's more inconsiderate? Posting political satire or inviting your friends to a comedy show where there is a cover. Oh, that's a real Sophie's choice. Yeah, what's worse? What would you

hate more? I think that's a toss-up for me. You might as well pay, if someone gave me an option to pay them $5 to not post political satire or anything on Facebook, I'd take that option, I think. You know what I've done a lot? I'll buy a ticket to someone's show and I won't

show up. I'll buy a ticket online. I'll give them the $5 and that's it. Get guilted into it. And it's just like, okay, they help make their number at the door because, you know, everyone's trying to make their number at the door so they can get paid. And I don't have to watch a comedy show. Everybody wins. That's not, that's pretty good, hysteria. Yeah. That's why, that's why I like it when people buy my comics and just throw them away. It's great. It's awesome. What makes you look like a bigger asshole? Posting political satire, inviting people to your comedy show. I know. It's inviting people to your political comedy show. That's the worst thing

you can do to your friend. Come out like laughing liberally. Come out and watch laughing liberally or a conservative chuckle fest. I got one worse. A one. Sounds good. A one man. A one man or one woman show. Like a one woman show. Oh my gosh. There's so many of them these days. It's just like, hey, come out to my one woman show. It's like, well, what do you mean? What do I get? What do I got to do? It's like, are you kidding me? I got to sit here and watch you for like an hour. Are you just talking on stage about a one woman show? Your vagina?

Like, what are you doing? And it's always about their vagina. It's always like gross shit, too. They're both. Every time I hear about a one man or one woman show, I just picture that scene from the Big Lobowski. Oh, yeah. Where he goes to see his landlord's y'allel.

Yeah, his landlord and he's dressed up like fucking Nero or somebody. Yeah. Fransing around on a chair. Masorikski, pictures in an exhibition, I think, is the piece that plays right. Oh, my God. Let's end on that. All right.

Ladies. Well, guys, my problem has been. Wait a minute. I've got a sound effect for that. Well, you just witnessed there. I'm, you know, I'm a writer. You know, I'm a writer. You know, I'm a writer.

You heard this one? It's a ringtone. It's a good ringtone. I like it. You know, I'm a writer. You know, I'm a writer. That's great. I love the.

You know, you fucking idiots, I'm a writer. I can't even tell you how much of a writer. You know what, guys? Where, you're not going to say it? No, I don't want you to do that anymore, okay? Because I'm going to trademark that. That's me, you're not allowed to do that. You have to pay me royalties if you say that.

Right? That's my trademark. Yeah, don't say it. You know, I have a book coming out in October, actually. What is it? Is it going to come out before your book? What the fuck is your book coming out? You know what, Asterois?

It's coming, all right? Don't worry about it. What percentage are you at? I'm at a high percentage, a big one. It's good, it's big. It's a huge number. It's a huge number. It's tremendous. It's a tremendous percentage.

The best percentage. All right. You got anything else, Dick? No. That's all I've prepared for is a funny bone. Guys, guys, uh, guys,

uh, D. Guys, apologies to Dick. A dick does actually bring in longer, bigger problems sometimes. And we run out of time. So he brings in these backup problems.

Well, I know when we have a guess, I want to give the guest a lot of time to talk about their problems. And you know Max is going to take the first 50 minutes anyway. Well, I suspect he might. Wow. You know. Yeah, whenever anybody's like, whenever anybody's like,

I'm so tired of these Dick Masterson short, relatable problems that are hilarious. How come he didn't spend 20 minutes reading a bunch of stats talking about bullshit? Like, oh, so are you got entertained on this comedy show, Jack off? The audience is incorrigible. There's nothing, I don't know, I don't know what they fucking want. We brought in shows where Dick and I, we had a really good time, we had a blast, and people are like, this is the worst fucking show I've ever heard.

You'll never please everyone. I had to stop reading. I had to stop reading all of it. It was too upsetting. Oh yeah, you really got thrown, you really got into it with some of those guys. Oh, absolutely. And I realized like, I'm angry about other things in my life and I'm putting this energy screaming at strangers.

Like, I'm not going to go on the Reddit anymore. I'm almost a bum. Yeah, exactly. And my life is immeasurably better for not doing that. Hey, you know what else will make your life better? Turn off auto-playing videos on Facebook. My problem this week was Facebook video. My problem this week was political satire.

My problem is banging your funny bones. See you next Tuesday for episode 100. Oh, shit, that's right. Big 100. We said we were supposed to heavily promote that all episodes. Yeah, I think people should count to a hundred. What? I said we just did.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, there it is. There go, Randy. Yeah, really? All right, I've got a ton of voicemail from Weird Matthew McConaughey. Oh, boy. I'm just going to go on a run. We'll save some of them for 100.

He always, he leaves like six voicemails every week. I've listened to them, too, and it sounds like he's getting progressively drunker and drunker. That is great. Love his man. All right. Oh, here's a good one. Yeah. So my girlfriend's parents' van got broken into on the way back.

from Alabama one time. Sorry, I just have to sum that up. My girlfriend's parents' van got broken into. I'm following. I stopped like, I don't know, it was like a gas station or a motel or some shit. Came back out. All the fucking Christmas presents were gone.

I don't know who fucking steal the kids' presents. Then there was one of those fucking full-sized vans and like the window shades and shit. A rape van. That's what you call him. A candy band. Always the rape jokes on the Casper episodes. This one's a pretty good insight. I agree with him on this.

Maybe this is a problem. I shouldn't blow it. You know how in movies that always make getting a blow job and doing something else look cool? It's true. But really, it's not because you can't concentrate. I was thinking, new season of Traylor Park Boys.

drop. Why, it'd be cool just to get your dick sucked the whole time. Just be really tired. I'm watching Tried Park boys. Like, you just roll a fat one. You smoke. And you just get some bitch just like your dick for like. I feel like he's asleep and it's just like his mouth talking, his thoughts.

Whatever. But then I'm like, oh, shit. Hold on. What? His phone ring while he was on the phone? I don't know. called back to finish the story. Yeah, I've got to hear this.

Anyway. So, you know, it's like, I want to enjoy trainer park boys or the blow drop as much if I was enjoying them separately.

Oh, it's very full of soft. The joint goes good with either one. That's kind of a cool thing. But I think what made it so cool was a bumpkin because I'm at was better than fucking not. knocking two things out at once, right?

Problem is no one wants to give them. That's the problem. The biggest problem right there. Yeah. No one wants to give you a blanket. Dear God. Okay, guys, we got big episode 100 coming up next week. It's a big one.

You don't want to miss it. It's huge.