The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Biggest Problem 207

Episode Date: October 18, 2025

da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da oh shit whoops whoops what were you doing wait what do you mean what was i doing everyone just watched five minutes of you nodding your head and playing on your phone what with complete silence oh man what a disaster how because you didn't play the song you just sat there and played on your your phone for five minutes. Well, I, I was hearing the song. Oh, well, everybody else was listening to Dead Silence. Uh, well, that's too bad. Let me see. Does this work? Did that work? Did that work? I didn't see a video. Did that work? That's what I was hearing the whole, that's what I was hearing the whole time. Did that work? There's nothing, nothing's happening. Well, what do they see now? well now they see us but you know there's no build-up of like fun music well i hear i'll play it again i'll play it again

Wait a minute, wait a minute. It's doing it again. I swear to God, I'm just pressing the same button. There's no video. No video is playing. Oh, so I was doing it again. All right, wait, watch this. Watch this.

Watch this. Loop. Yeah. There. What the fuck, man? I don't know. This thing's broken. Good work.

You nailed it. Uh-da-da-da-da. Biggest problem in the universe. Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe. The only show that ranks every problem in the universe from potions for your cars. to gas that's made by tarts. That's a good one from Rydog. Knowing you're getting scammed to Hassan,

shocking his dog and not getting banned. From Omtus Nome, that one's a little wordy. I'm your host, like Masch, and joining me, as always, Vito Giswaldi. Hello. Hello, all right. Let's see who won last week. Dog abuse.

Dog abuse won. Who is you? The evil Hassan. the dog abuser who's still uh it's still around somehow getting covered by

Sasha Gray and all his shitbag L.A. streaming friends covering for him uh they would probably are they commenting on it they're of course they're all commenting on it I don't follow any of this

you're not on Twitter well it's weird that I was watching the New York mayor debates and fucking Hassan comes up I got to hear Cuomo go will you uh will you denounce Hassan and I'm like Is this really fucking politics?

No talking shit about 9-11 Oh did he denounce him Uh I think he said you know Yeah he kind of did I guess He denounced Hassan Oh man

He denounced Hassan That's too bad Assed he was He was depressed too And he's sick of streaming And all everything He's so sad Because he got caught abusing his dog

I mean he did shock the dog It seems pretty clear at this point. It seems pretty fucking obvious, just like it was obvious on the same day that it happened, because he's a psycho. And Sasha Gray, that stupid whore is running a defense for him. The, like, porn star lady?

Is that what that is? The ex-porn star, yeah. The ex-porn star is running a defense for him. Fucking stupid, stupid whore. Okay, let's see what's next. Knowing you're getting, knowing you're getting ripped off. second place.

Yay. Everyone wants a piece next. People who don't look up their ideas last. Jureska Park said, I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought to cash me outside. Chick was bad bunny. Yeah.

I wish it was. I wish that was the Super Bowl where you were getting. Josh Hill says, I love how Envito needs something. It takes him months to get around to like a fitted sheet or a pillow for his fucking bed.

But when it comes to something he wants, he gets it instantly like those little weird girl dolls or Spider-Man magic cards. I don't think I've needed a fitted sheet I don't know where that comes from I have no idea Society the ghetto rig says I can't wait to

charge back every purchase I made from Godfather games I don't know what he means by that probably the game studio that's the website I set up oh uh erb beta patch says cleaning your lens isn't going to upscale it to 180 pvits who needs all those peas Paco Marx says

Vito what's with your glasses Those are ladies frames. I'm an optometrist. I think I got, uh, there was like a, you know, glasses USA.com or something. I do not. No, I don't need glasses. Well, they, they have your glasses lingo or hangout spots or whatever. They said, uh, hey, influencer, why don't we give you some free glasses?

Pick any glasses you want. You pick the ladies ones? Well, yeah, because I was, I got them for like a, I was going to do a character, but then they weren't the Right. The Incredible Lady? The Incredible Lady. That was the character I was working on at the time. You're wearing joke glasses?

Yeah. Are these the lady ones? I think these are the ladies ones. Well, the optometrist says they're ladies' glasses, so... People like these ones, though. I get compliments on these. Who? Just people.

They go, hey, those are some smart-looking glasses. At the jerk store? Do they tell you that? Yeah, exactly. They go, I wish my glasses were that cool. That's what they always say. Oh, okay. And I go, well, go to glasses, USA.com.

So did they just gave you free glass? They didn't pay you or anything like that? I think they, yeah, I don't think I got money. I think I just got paid in glasses. Even, this is Conrad Clunker. Even if the dog collar is just a vibration collar. Disciplining your dog for standing up is demented. Hassan's story is confusing because he's lying.

Yeah. I do think it's pretty obvious now in the way he talks about it that he's being duplicitous Yeah Where You're coming

If he had a You're coming around Well if he had like a good story If he had like a Oh no you guys you don't understand And this is the thing But he's like one of those guys who you're like Oh well now I know you're lying

Just because the way you're talking about Yeah The way a liar would talk about Yeah because he's dumb He's like stares at the floor And just like He can't even pick a story story he just kind of like suggests what might be a lie well it's weird when you have the double

dodge of it's a vibration caller and i wasn't even vibrating it and then you're like well i was reaching for zins yeah that they didn't eat it's going on oh uh how come the dog never moves how why is that why does the dog it is weird that the dog does not move now he's like he's trying to claim that well somebody said isn't that breed like supposed to be really aren't those like a sheepherder dog Yeah, yeah There's no breed that just lays in the corner For eight hours a day

You'll get some You'll get some like attention seeking freaks Who always pipe in with Well actually, so my dog is like But it's just like retarded bullshit They're lying. Yeah They're lying for attention Some fucking moron

There's always some fuck There's always some worthless moron Who wants to chime in About how he knows this insane edge case that no one has ever heard of. Totally worthless. Totally worthless people. I mean, that dog's there for like four hours, which, like...

Eight! I can't think of any animal that doesn't go, oh, I better get up and, you know, relax or something, you know? Angerist says Vito's ability to jump through hoops to pretend he doesn't know what's going on in defense of his own team is the most exercise he gets in a week. Is he talking about Hassan there? Why are people assuming I'm on Hassan's team?

What does that even mean? I think it's because you tweeted it would... It doesn't make sense because he would be crazy. for doing that when it first happened it seemed totally crazy I'm like no but let's be let's be real he's one of these guys that you know every other week I got to hear about how Nick Flentes is gay right had sex with a guy yeah right and then you go well you that's not actually true right and I assumed it was one of those things where it's like app you know if everybody just keeps saying it it becomes true right and then I watched more videos and I went

oh shit wait really yeah that's crazy yeah that's crazy yeah Yeah. He really had that terrorist on them. Because it seemed so crazy. It seemed like one of those things that I went, come on this guy's a millionaire. He's not going to be streaming live on Twitch and shock a dog because that's fucking insane. But they're all, all of them, all these liberal guys are like this though. Like the Republican guys, whenever I find out they're gay, I believe it. I'm like, yeah, I'm not surprised. It's like, I don't give a shit if any of you gay or not. But the liberal guys, when I find out that they're like, strength, headbutting women and like raping a dog. I'm like, yeah, that's, I mean, that's, you guys are all like this. Yeah. You guys are all like this. Yeah. Why else would you, why else be liberal? Like, what was the point of it?

I mean, the only reason you get into it is that you can rape the dogs. Yeah, well, uh, yeah, to cover up your, your deep, deep failings as, uh, as a person. So, yes, including dog raping, sure. Um, that makes sense. That tricks. Smilomaniac says, Vito that hyper potion, hyperpotion, card goop is almost certainly the same sort of stuff you used to fill

in scratches on CDs like plastic cleaner polish. So I have that stuff. Well, this guy's almost, it's almost certain that it's that. Yeah. So I mean, what's wrong with you? He's almost certainly that. He's almost

certain, which is the same as being certain. It's exactly the same. It's just as good. I mean, what's wrong with you? This guy's almost certain that it's what you use on scratches on CDs or plastic cleaner or polish or on action figures

or models. Or any of these things. Yeah, you're dumb, right? I've had it suggested that it is Norvis 2 compound which I actually have a bottle of and I haven't tried it. I'm going to try it. Okay, let us know. I have to figure out, I guess may I'll try it on the Magneton again or is the

magneton already tainted? Because it has the carnivobo wax on it? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Do it again. I think you could do it. It smells like a honda. Do it again.

But now I keep getting those videos in my feed. Man, are you following the PSA grading a debacle this week? Yeah, what did they do? It's not worth talking about. What did they do? Just the idea, they never sent you a letter saying, hey, you got to pay us more money to get your card back, right?

They never sent who a letter? You, when you got your cards PSA graded. Yeah, they just upcharge you if the cards are worth more. but that's crazy why should you have to pay more it's the same service as somebody said I mean not really

when a house appraiser comes and he appraises your house he goes to go hey by the way I decided your house worth a million so you got to pay me a little extra like that doesn't make any fucking sense um house appraisers charge more for a bigger house

it's not one flat rate for a bigger house if they gotta walk around more but if not it's you know it's a small house No, you're not a grader. What if they, like, got to get, like, oh, shit, this is a nine. I got to really check out these alignments and stuff. Oh, okay. Okay, but then the grader.

That's $500. There you go. Here's the problem. Then the grader has an incentive to bump up the grade to make more money for the company. Oh, yeah? Yeah, well, that's not good. That's fucking nuts. Yeah, but if they give too many out, then the grade, it's not worth anything anymore. Loses prestige.

So they've got to balance it out, you know. All I know is Beckett is advertising. We don't charge extra. It's a flat fee. And I go, that's the way it should be. Rats off to you. Mystic Marble says, Vito crying about scam artists for doing the same thing he always tries to do, but successfully buying junk in bulk and then hyping it up so he can flip it.

That's what Mystic Marbles says. Who was I saying shouldn't do that? I'd have no idea. I didn't make this comment. I'm fine with resellers. I get it. That's fine. You know.

More power to you. Mushroom Fleet says that breed doesn't need a shot collar. He needs a walk. Those streams a lung. Hustler says, why does the dog even have a collar in the house? Great question. Oh, because it's a shock collar. Piece of shit, I've owned four dogs.

I've trained them all with commands. Within two months, two hours. Something, something. It's not hard. Yeah. Odin Valcure. Ooh, lo! I struck a nerve with Dick. Saying running out of gas is a woman problem.

The truth hurts, man. Maybe California dudes are just built different. Dot, dot, dot. I cannot say I've ever run out of gas. Let it get low for sure. But never just run out or worried that I would. Part of knowing your vehicle, I guess. That's incredible.

Derek Wheatley, Vito, and you know what your Hassan's doing is wrong. Stop to fake ignorance. I think you covered that. Black Angus. I don't think it's ignorance. Everybody thinks I'm like trying to run cover for the fucking guy. I'm just like, I go, well, he's a guy on Twitch. I assume he's not shocking his dog.

That was my, that was, that's a logical assumption to make, I think. Why? Twitch people are like sick. I mean, it is true that a lot of YouTube, like, when you get to that top level of like making content or whatever, yeah, a lot of those guys are sociopath. So yeah, maybe I should have known. Maybe you're right. I don't know. Black Angus says, why, why is it always the pro-abortion people that harp on, animal cruelty um uh

because is that a reference to what i don't know maybe where did that come from me or you well i'd rather have um no people

and animals that would be terrific so i don't understand why you're maybe you're gay and you need you like the idea having more men around so abortion I'm tired of catching these little drive-by snipes from, uh...

I get it. Some of you guys in the audience are, uh, you love Jesus. It's fine. You don't need to constantly leave a comment being like, oh, well, that's what happens when, you know, that's what these guys the way they think because they don't know the Lord, and the Lord's not in their heart. Okay, I got it.

Why is it always, it's always like abortion? It's always. Oh, yeah, well, how does that apply to abortion? Like, I, man. Vietnam's over. I let Jesus into my heart, okay? So there. Now you can shut up about it.

Amy says sneaking two Costco hot dogs. He's a happy boy. Into a movie theater and then judging other people's nachos as an appropriate food choice for movie watching is hilariously, ridiculous and perfectly veto. There you go. The Costco hot dogs really good. I actually got hot dogs this week because I wanted a hot dog so bad. Oh.

And I think I've been making hot dogs wrong for the longest time. You have been? Yeah. How have you been making them? I would just throw them in a pan and I'd crisp them up a little bit and then put it on a bun. Okay. And I realized you put some water in the pan like you're cooking a regular sausage. Yeah.

Well, not just so they don't burn. I think also some of that water gets absorbed into the dog or something. Okay. Or it steams the dog up. You get a plumber dog if you cook. in the water. How often you eat hot dogs? Not as much as I'd like. Okay. I really like hot dogs.

Sure. Data says I guarantee you that Vito eating a hot dog is louder than me eating popcorn. It's possible. Okay. And then there's a bunch of garbage after that. Okay. What do you got? What do we got today? What are we doing today? We got nothing because it's my birth. So I'm taking it in a week off.

I did not do any voted up nonsense. Okay. I was too busy. Too busy having a happy birthday. Thank you. What did you do for your birthday? I played magic cards on the internet. And I won a box of, uh, I want a box.

You want a box? Yeah, I want a box of cards. Of what? Of Japanese Modern Horizons 3. Oh. I also started. assembling a new bed frame which came late and I'm mad because now

I'm after the show ends I guess it could be I don't know what the problem would be well the problem is when you're real okay here's the problem is when delivery anticipation right right is when you know the thing you want is coming and you're just like

you're like well I wish it was any other package and I could just not think about it but this one's so important that I'm just sitting there waiting for the fucking mailman. I'm like, where the fuck is it? Where's the fucking Amazon guy? This is a crucial thing that I need. A bed frame? Yeah, a bed frame.

Why do you need a bed frame crucially? Because the old bed frame I had, let's be clear, I beat that thing to shit. It was not a good bed frame. I bought a bed frame for a normal sized man, and I realized that was a mistake, so I had to get the

I'm upgrading to something a little sturdier. This one. You got a plus-size bed frame? Nah, it's, it's, the one I got was like a cheap fucking Chinese, like metal rails that snapped together or whatever. Okay. And it was just starting to bend and I went, okay, this thing's falling apart. What was it made out of like steel?

Yeah, but like fucking pig steel, man. It's like, it's like thin. You can take the fucking bars and bend them and have. All right. Okay. And I'm a large man. I need a sturdy bed frame. I ordered a new bed frame on Amazon

and I'm like oh that'll be good I'm sure they'll show up and I'll assemble it and then it showed up like 30 minutes before the show I go great because the best thing I like

because I already took the old bed frame out because I was like all the new ones because I said the new one's showing up today I better move the old one out to make room for it Yeah but they miss deliveries all the time Why would you do that? Okay yeah well that's the point is now after the show ends normally I would like to relax

and just whatever. Now I'm going to be in there screw in a fucking bed frame together for two hours because the fucking guys late. Don't you wake up at like five? Who cares? It's like your morning.

No, no. I woke up at 1 a.m. I'm not awake since 1 a.m. So, and I would love to just go to bed after the show, but I can't. I have to, well, actually, I'll probably... Shouldn't you be like living it up

at your birthday? Why don't you go like to the game store and go like, hey, everybody packs on me? You know, everybody, let's celebrate my birthday. Maybe this weekend, I'll do some fun. Booster packs on me. Maybe this weekend I will consider doing something fun. Yeah.

Probably not. I don't think assembling a bed frame is that fun. It's not going to be fun. That's going to be my birthday. It's going to be a day of tomorrow. I'm just going to be assembling a fucking bed frame. And it's got way too many pieces. Yeah.

One of these IKEA looking things. A million fucking sprockets and. I doubt it has too many. pieces. It's got a lot of pieces. Well, it's a whole bed. It's got a whole bed frame, man. It's a it's a pain on my fucking ass. And you know what I know? I know I'm too lazy to put it together

tonight, so I'm just going to end up throwing a bunch of blankets on the floor and sleep it on those. Wait, blankets? Why blankets? Well, because what else am I going to sleep on? What about your bed? I guess I could put, I could try to find a place to put the mattress. Right now the mattress is up against the wall. Well, just tip the mattress over and sleep on the floor.

No, now in the floor is half an assembled bed frame because I started assembling it. So now there's a half-finished bed frame taking up the whole fucking room. I said, uh, maybe I can get it started and then I'll be ready to go. And I'm not going to be ready to go. It's just sitting there. Why don't you chop up some concerta? I can take it apart, I guess. I can take it apart and fucking throw the pieces of it.

You can't, you can put a bed together before. you sleep dude it's a lot of fucking pieces I got it it's like a fucking nightmare I'll probably do it but it's gonna suck it's gonna take at least an hour oh a whole hour an hour of futs in with pieces

and dropping the fucking screws it's not gonna be fun do you have power tools you have like an electric screwdriver it's one of those things it's all hex wrenches and shit it comes they have bits that are hex bits do you have that

I guess I could use the electric drill. Whatever. I can just screw the little... I don't know. Maybe I should. Maybe you have a point. You should definitely.

Yeah. Well, there's some tight corners, though. I don't know if I could get a drill in there. Do you have a 90 degree bit? No, I don't have a 90 degree bit. What are you doing? Why not? Why don't you order one on Amazon?

Because then it'll take a fucking hole. It won't show until the middle of a fucking night. I just take the Amazon guy all day. And I know he's fucking around. I go, why don't you bring it to me first? Why do you go to all the fucking Chinese people first? They're just ordering fucking quail eggs and fucking donkey jelly. They can wait for that.

So now you don't have a bed frame. This is important. I don't have a bed. That's more important than whatever Chinese fucking chopsticks and incense, all the people around me are ordering. Did you just get so excited that you threw your bed away before the bed got there? I was like, if I'm going to build this bed frame, I'm going to need the room. So I got to take the old. So I took up the mat.

I took out the bed frame and I threw it out the door. Yeah. And I assumed the bed frame would show up quickly because it's Amazon. They're just, they've got no, there's no excuse. They got a million fucking trucks. This is such a rookie mistake.

You don't throw away, you can't count on Amazon like that. What if you didn't show up at all? I know, I don't have a bed. No, I don't have a fucking bed. Well,

it's true. They could have not shown up at all and that would have also been terrible. That's too bad. So my problem is, uh, I don't even know what my fucking problem is. Late deliveries? Late deliveries.

That you're waiting, that you're really excited about? But it's not even that I'm excited. Like, oh my God, I can't wait to play with this toy. It's a thing I need to live. It's a frame for the bed. Because the other one was busted. It was a piece of shit. It was falling apart.

Every time I was fucking went to bed on it, I was worried the whole thing was going to collapse and kill me and kill all the fucking cats living underneath it, man. How bad a shape was it in? It was bad. It was all bent up. Yeah. Well, I've had it for like, I've had it since I moved here.

So probably almost like, I don't know. Almost seven years now I've had that fucking thing. It was time to go. Beds are easily, they last seven years. Not, not, it's not like it was worn out. Not these cheap. Go on Amazon. Look, I bought the $80 Amazon Chinese fucking thing.

Okay? It's cheap fucking. fucking metal. What size was a queen? It's a queen size. So that was meant for two people. That's true. And it still got busted in. Well, my, the other problem, you know, I don't take good care of things. You know, I like to jump

into the bed as forcefully and hard as I possibly can. Are you serious? Yeah, I don't know why. I just, when I go to bed, I'm like, it's bedtime and I'll run at the bed and I'll just throw myself onto it and you can hear the as like one of the legs snaps.

That's the earth. That's the earth's core. Because I'm like, if I'm going to go to bed, I want it to be an event. I want it to be exciting. So I, why does everything have to be exciting for you? It's bedtime for you.

I just take a running fucking leap into the bed. And after years of that. You're just asking to get your spine blown out to get Lombago or something. It's fucking blown out. The whole fucking day. I've been sleeping. Why would you do that to a bed? Like, first of all, that craftsmanship on that bed is maybe the strongest in the world if what

you're saying is true. And it's lasted seven years of you playing tilly wings. I can't believe it held up as long as I did. Because when I took the mattress off, there's like bars, like all jutting in different directions and snapping off. And I'm like, oh, that piece is that's supposed to connect there. I don't even know how this thing was still standing. Jesus Christ. So I had to take all that down. And now I got no bed frame. I got half a bed frame.

Not even half. I didn't do. I didn't get any of it done. Barely anything. How much did you get done? I put on like two legs. Oh. It's got a million parts.

It's got a million fucking parts. Like washers and stuff though, not actual parts. Like screws. I'm hoping. You know what? I'm hoping all those bars just like bit. into place. That's the skeleton. I'm hoping those

don't have to be screwed in. Like, maybe they just slot on top. No, they have to be... What is it? Like, one of those double rib thing situations? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you got to screw those in. I think I just gave away the bed that you bought. God damn. It's a pain in the ass. It's a big pain in the ass.

I gave it away for free. And this little kid, this like 17-year-old kid shows up with his mom, Mexican. And he calls the screws nails and asks why doesn't it just fold up? And I said, what the fuck are you talking about? He was like, you know, I think it just folds up.

I'm like, no, it doesn't just fold up. You have to take it apart. He's like, ah, I think it just kind of folds up. Should just fold up. I don't know why you keep saying that, but you're welcome to try. It doesn't have any changes. Is sure you got all the nails for this thing, bro?

Bro, you got all the nails? And then his mom parked in the middle of the like street stupidly taking up one lane though and for no reason my neighbor comes out and starts shouting at her like what are you doing

you know saying what don't park there to get the bed yeah like there's always people parked on the side of the street doing some stupid shit moving cutting trees down why in the hell did you come out here and start problems with this lady while I'm trying to take a fucking bed apart with a guy that doesn't know the difference

nails and screws. So did he have to come into the house to get the bed frame? Yeah, I figured somebody who knew how to undo screws would come. And he's just standing there looking at the thing going, I got to fold this fucker. Yeah, he's sitting, I'm taking their part, and he's sitting there going, ah, trying to figure out how to fold it. I'm like, dude, just unscrew it. And he may be unscrewed like three screws. Immediately lost one.

The worst, oh, that's terrible. Because what are you going to do? Now you've got to look for a screw for a guy? Yeah. The worst is, yeah, when you're giving it. Now, were you giving it away or did you sell it? I gave it away. I didn't want that.

I should have just thrown it. Well, I didn't want to have to take it apart. That was the whole point. I didn't want to have to take it apart. So I listed it for free. And then a guy who doesn't know how to take apart beds came. Like, all right. And he can't just leave him in there to figure it out.

No, because they don't got a babysitting forever. Fucking around. Sounds like you made an epic blunder as well, my friend. I should have just folded it in half. Yeah, you should have said, yeah, it folds up and snap the fucking thing and throw it in the back of his car. Okay. All right, my problem is my broken bed frame and showing up late. My broken bed frame.

All right. Showing up late. Well, the new one's not broken, hopefully. That's me on the day before Christmas, waiting for everyone's Christmas present to arrive. fuck this is a cutting you order the present that late yeah i usually order it that day or the day before getting presents for uh what the family uh yeah yeah so like do you buy your father or like a christmas present uh well my wife does it now but yeah yeah why because i never get my mom the last time i got my mom uh because she doesn't need it

thing. What am I going to fucking get her? Unbelievable. So last year for Christmas, so last year for Christmas, I went on Temu and I just scrolled through all the Chinese trash. Did I already tell this story? I don't know. And I just bought like 50

different terrible Chinese things. Jesus. There was like a lamp that looks like a moon. There was like a thing to like stir your tea. I just I just anything that looked like it might be kind of fun I was like yeah fuck it I just because all that shit's like seven bucks eight bucks

so I just and then she's like she was upset because she's like Vito every day I come home and there's like 10 fucking Chinese boxes because they don't send it all at once and half of them smell like the inside of a fucking cat factory I'm like yeah yeah yeah some of that stuff's good so I just bought her keep any of it or does she trash at all?

I don't know. I said, well, whatever you don't want, you can give it away. It's fun. Give it away. Get some weirdo from Craigslist into your mom's house? That was your Christmas present? No, give it to the rest of the family. Everybody likes... Give it to you. Tammu. Nobody likes that shit. Nobody wants Tammu. Oh, it's so bad. I got Tammu bad lately, man.

Tammu. I don't know how Tammu is legal. Have you tried using Tammu? I don't think so. Every time I try it, I get a stupid wheel that I can't make go away. Yeah, yeah. So they run fucking weird psychological games when you're buying stuff on there. They're like, look, here's the wheel. You just got 80% off.

I think, you know, obviously you read the fine print. It says everybody gets 100% off or whatever it is. We are not legally allowed to have a sweepstakes for bargains. All of this is fake. Right, right. But now they're doing this thing. first, all right, here's how they got me, which it actually worked out for me because I'm an idiot.

Was they're like, do you want a free, like free shit? I'm like, yeah, I'd love free shit. And they're right, pick five things you want for free. I said, okay, I don't know, I picked a bunch of stuff. And then the best thing was a Spider-Man game for PlayStation 5. I said, I want that Spider-Man game. I'd play that. They're like, okay.

So to get those items, you have to spend $150. dollars. And I was like, whatever it was, like 100 bucks. I'm like, congrats, mom. Here's, here's Christmas, Valentine's Day, birthday. Thanksgiving. So I bought $100 worth of stuff. And they go, okay, but we can't give you your, your free shit yet. I'm like, what do you mean? You said if I spent 100 bucks, you send me all this free shit. They go, you get one free item every two days. And you have to log on to the site during these specific times and enter this promo code or else you don't get your free gift.

And I was like, oh, so the trick is to find, you know, stupid lazy people who you would think I would be one of them. Guys who are playing like adventure games in the jack-in-the-box parking lot to get free fries by the pound. Yeah. And well, that's why it worked out for me. I set an alarm and then I just logged it every day and I put in the magic code and I got a free copy of Spider-Man and it worked out.

It's being your free code. You know, they got the McDonald's Monopoly. games back? No, I didn't know that. It is. Are you a big fan? Everyone's a fan of the McDonald's. It was fun at one point, but then at some point it became like there's a QR code and it just

it's just felt sort of feeling cheap and I stopped being interested in it. It was cool the first time. I think McDonald's is pissed because all the all the Scalper kids are going, hey, you can get 10 free McDonald's codes every day on the website and they have

to give them to you. So every day, if you fill out a forum five times, you end up with 10 free McDonald's codes. And I've just been getting free, uh, whatever. I got a free breakfast sandwich. I got a free, uh, Drake. Is that your birthday? Free McDonald's? That's my birthday. It's getting free McDonald's codes off the website. But now they're saying so many people are doing it that there's like a lag on the system. It used to be, yeah, yeah, it used to be like instantaneous. Now it takes like a day or two to get your free crap. Everyone's getting their free McDonald's

codes. Well, okay. I can't imagine you could win a prize that way though. I would imagine all the prizes they must print it on the ticket, right? See, this is what I mean. There's like too many ways to get pieces, game pieces. It used to be just hash brown

fries and drink and you'd get two prizes for supersized. That was cool. Now it's like get a code on a website and scan this and go on the website. I don't want to, I don't like the website component. You got a bonus play and you're like, what's

the fuck's a bonus play? Yeah, it makes the regular play seem cheap. And I got to spin another wheel. Yeah. Who was it who was, I think it was Peggy on King of the Hill who's like, you got to spin the choice and you spin the wheel and that lets you spin a, oh no, it was on the office. They spin this wheel and then you get mini wheel

which is you spend a smaller wheel. Right. Can I just like find out if I want a car or a cheeseburger? I just wanted to be that moment. I don't want it to be stretched out and strung along of like, is it boardwalk? I don't want to download boardwalk.

I want to rip it off the the drink. It would be better if the contest was car or cheeseburger. And you rip open the thing, you either get a cheeseburger or you get a car and that's it. There's only two things in the whole fucking contest. Well, I

liked the game of Monopoly. I liked putting the little stickers on. Yeah, but what's the point? Because you put the stickers on, but There's always the rare piece you're never going to get. Well, yeah, that's the game. That's what makes it exciting. But now I think...

It's not exciting. It's exciting to stupid people. This is why... Okay, the new McDonald's Monopoly is my problem. This is how they fucked it up. It used to be like you were, like, opening presents on Christmas. You're like, oh, fuck, did I miss any? This is all great stuff, but did I miss any?

Oh, did I miss any presents on Christmas? No. I could scan it. I didn't miss any. These are all my presents. With the new McDonald's Monopoly game there could be like

there could have there's a QR code on a wrapping paper somewhere that you missed and that could have been your there's just too much anxiety You forgot to scan your bonus code Yeah there's too many bonus codes

And the bonus codes are obviously bullshit It's just data harvesting So I don't want to participate in it But there's still that little niggling doubt And then I got to talk myself out of that doubt that boardwalk was not on a QR code In fact boardwalks in none of this None of this matters

you're a sucker for getting excited about any of it. It's like it really ruined it for everyone, I think, and me. Really ruined it for me. I mean, I do look at the like smaller prizes. That's where you started getting into troubles and you're like, well, I'm not going to win the million dollars, but I, you know, I could win some ladies' classes. I deserve a TV.

Yeah. They got this cool, they got this cool like turntable is one of the prizes this year. And I'm going, man, I kind of do want that turntable. That would be pretty cool. Maybe I should go buy more McDonald's. And actually you go on the app and they have a little simulator. They call it bag maxing. They're like, you've got to max your bag.

And I'm like, what is this? And it's figuring out what you could order to get the most number of game pieces. Because remember, that was always the things. You're like, no, Dad, you're going to get the 20 piece nugget because it's got two stickers instead of one. Yeah, it's got two. And he goes, I'm getting you two 10 pieces. You go, no, you can't get two 10 pieces because they don't get any stickers. You got to order a 20-piece, Dad!

Yeah. Yeah, so I was clicking around there. And apparently the ultimate, yeah, the ultimate is to get the 20-piece nugget with a fry and a drink. Then you're going to get four stickers. Does McDonald's have a dating app? They should. They should. They should roll that out.

So when you're in the parking lot, you could do some swiping on, like, the McNugger buddies. I said a grinder could be a burglar, and the hamburger could be waving gay guys over going. why not have a McDonald's date? You're on burglar. Yeah, a burglar. With an R. Just with an R. Yeah, it's just an R at the end.

Okay. Here's my problem. McDonald's Monopoly. That's your, so McDonald's Monopoly and waiting for your bed. All right. Here's my, here's my real problem. Whatever.

This is, I don't know if, I don't know if I can bring this up. Oh, yeah, okay. There's been a lot of that lately. There's been a lot of, I don't know if we're allowed to. of time. The rules are confusing these days. My problem is the war on Hitler. Yeah.

Here's what I'm sharing. Okay, there you go. This is the Babylon B guy. You know that fucking guy? Like he runs it, he owns it? Yeah, I think he runs it or owns it. Something like that. Those guys. He says,

quote, no enemies to the right. He's talking about politics. It says, Isn't a strategy for beating the left. It's a strategy for letting bad actors with bad ideas gain control of the movement unopposed. He's talking about Trump. The left is in retreat right now. He's talking about you guys. You are in retreat right now.

Precisely because they gave the reins to their radicals. You'd have to be insane to copy them. You don't win by refusing treatment when you have cancer. It just spreads off and very quickly and then you die. Sounds pretty upset, right? Is this about Nick Fuentes? What isn't about Nick Fuentes from these fucking clowns? Is this about those stupid texts?

Is that what this is? This is a full-on multi-day meltdown by these Israel First freaks like Seth Dillon and all the Babylon B guys and all these other formerly never Trump guys like Ben Shapiro and all these fucking assholes melting down because some texts were released. of a bunch of, like, young guys in Washington, D.C., a bunch of young Republicans, and they've been tripping over themselves claiming that they're just, the cancer. Look at this. Cancer. These are the worst, the worst things you could ever imagine, right? All right, you want to see what the, you want to see what the Hitler thing was?

They're talking about praising Hitler. These guys are crying about it. That's bad. We can't have that in the Republican Party, of course. Yeah, here's the, uh, Here's the text. It says, this is the joke that the guys were sharing. This is between two young Republicans? This was what was leaked.

This was the damning, cancerous tweet that was, or group chat. All right, do you want to be blue or gray? I'll just read it. It says, yeah, I had some back and forth with the VC in Michigan. Current chair is a deer in headlights. We have a call on Wednesday. And the guy says, many agree. He says, he did say, my delegates, I will be.

bring will vote for the most right-wing person. And the guy says, great, I love Hitler. That's it. It's a good joke. That's a solid joke right there. My delegates will vote for the most right-wing person. He goes, oh, well, good. I'm a big fan of that Hitler guy as well. I get what he's, I get what he's doing there. He says, who would be the most far-right person of all?

Who would be a totalitarian? Yeah. Great, I love Hitler. Yeah. It's not actually saying, I actually love Hitler. It's saying you have said who is the most right-wing person. I'm going to joke. Well, of course, it would be Hitler.

Hitler. Obviously, I don't think that. Man, the best tweet about that was that guy who said there were 251 instances of such slurs as the the R slur and the N-sler and you're like, oh my God, 251 instances. How are we going to

survive? Yeah, I'm like, How long? That was like in one exchange? That's a lot of slurs. I said, no, in nine months. I said nine months? It's 250 slurs? Ooh. Yeah, that's like a, that's a good day in the fucking discord, the biggest problem discord. Yeah, I've said the N word more than that today. What do you mean nine months? So like at some point does somebody have to sit down, these kind of like, I would think the Babylon B guys should know this and go, hey, listen. When young guys are together on the internet, they'll sometimes say fucked up stuff to kind of get a rise out of each other. It's not fucked up stuff, though.

It said, oh yeah, I love it. Yeah, like Hitler. Yeah. The most right-wing guy ever. Oh, yeah, like Hitler. Well, somebody used the N-word, it said, with a, I think with an A at the end. Yeah, I know Seth Dillon is, and the rest of these guys are real concerned about black people getting their feelings hurt. I know that's a, I know it's a number.

one concern among these guys. We can't have black people feeling bad. That would be the worst thing ever. No. So who put out this article? It was. Politico. And they said, we got access to these young Republican chats and these guys are basically actual Nazis. Actual Nazis praising Hitler. And honestly, I got to be real. I would expect, I expected it to be worse. Me too. Me too. Me too. as fuck. These guys are like really nice. Oh man, you guys who sucks. I was going to be, I was like

oh man, this is going to be bad. Like they're going to be saying all sorts of fucked up shit. I thought it was at least going to be as bad as the stuff I say at any time. You know? On signal. At any time. We've said infinitely worse shit on this show. Just just the worst. And really

mean it. Like really I mean it more than I was allowed to say. I figured out a way to say it and get away with it. I was like Man, these guys must have said some really bad stuff. Seth Dillon and all the Babylon B fucking fruit baskets went along with it. Every half, you know, all the normal bad guys went along with it. And then it drops and it's, oh, yeah, like Hitler. Oh, hey.

The war on Hitler's got to stop. He's dead. It's over. We're scraping. Stop worrying about Hitler. It's just. I'm gassed out. I have Hitler exhaustion.

Well, I don't know if you say I'm gassed out in reference to Hitler. The only, Hitler can only be a joke from here on out. I can't, if somebody says Hitler, no neo-Nazi is going around. If you're seriously saying Hitler, like seriously pledging some sort of allegiance to Hitler, you're, you're embarrassing yourself. Even in neo-Nazi circles, you know? I do, yeah. I mean, like, even when guys, like, even when neo-Nazis are like, oh, man, I'm really in the Hitler, I go, I know you're not really into Hitler. You know, really into Hitler, are you? Like, come on. What do you, what do you, you love Germany? Like, that guy. What are you talking

about exactly? Gay, I think. Yeah. It's played out. And there's, it's, it is played out. It is interesting to me that like, like, guys like me and you, we see, like, hey, a bunch of, young guys were in a group chat tossing the N-word around. Yeah. And we go, that's just healthy American behavior. What are you talking about? It was with an A. If anything, they're not going hard enough.

Wow. And like to us, it's just like completely nothing. And then it kind of feels like we stepped back in time like 10 years or something. I don't know when it was. But it's like, do you know they said words on the internet? And you're like, oh, we're not doing this. We're not doing this anymore. this is out we stopped doing that

yeah we're done you can just say anything now the whole world's on fucking fire you can say all the slurs it's fine celebrities are electrocuting dogs on the internet we don't we're not doing any of this stuff I can I've been watching AI generated videos of kids

with Down syndrome showing off retarded inventions to the fucking uh shark tank people have you watching that AI AI retarded people on Shark Tank yeah yeah they're using that they're just generating videos. He goes, hey, sharks,

I made a helmet that makes a grotesie sandwich. And there's like a million of them. And I'm just like, yeah, all right. This is just where we are as a society. It's just, we're just making videos of fake retarded people being extra retarded. I laughed so hard. I laughed

so hard, though. Because at first I was like, oh, this is stupid. It was like a fake Pixar movie about a retarded kid who wants to be a police officer. Right. And it's like, he's got heart. That's all you need. And then it cut to the title of the movie. and it said officer down and I laughed so fucking hard

I said you got me officer down that's really fucking good okay listen no of this matters listen to how this is phrased on Tuesday Politico published a series of racist

and anti-Semitic messages from a group chat filled with young Republican leaders they included references to putting their opponents in gas chambers and raping them they called black people

monkeys and the watermelon people one message stated simply, I love Hitler. That was the message I just fucking showed you is the one that said, I love Hitler. Can you, like, can you fucking believe it? Anytime now you're Hitler, I think, I'm out. No, I don't care. I don't care.

The war on Hitler's got to stop. He's dead. Hitler's dead. You guys, you got to let him go. You got to let him go. He needs to go on to the Great Bidon. You got to get over it. You got to stop worrying about Hitler. You got to stop. You got to get over it. When I hear, they're referring to

black people as the watermelon people. I go, that's so stupid that I, how could you even be offended at this point? It's like childish racism. It's like 90s racism. Yeah, yeah. Oh. The watermelon people, I'm like, I've heard way worse things about black people. If anything, at this

point, the watermelon people seems cheeky and fun compared to some of the horrible fucking things I've heard lately. Yeah. I think the black community and maybe embrace the watermelon people as opposed to the other epithets that are going around these days. Yeah. Yeah, we're okay

with that one. That one we're fine with. Let me see if I got any more. They're all everyone that votes know is going to the gas chamber. And everyone that endorsed, but then votes for us is going to the cast chamber. Okay. That's it. The gas chamber.

That can be, you know, that doesn't necessarily refer to any particular event. Maybe it's just a de-lousing chamber that they wanted to send them to. Yeah, who knows? Who knows? Who knows? you know, he didn't specify that it's for killing him. Well, they're always trying, man.

It seems like the the golden goose for the left-wing political journalists. Yeah. It's to find young right-wing conservative guys who are secretly, like, really bad guys.

Yeah. And do you remember the story? You remember Stephen Glass, who they made the movie about? No, who's up? He was the journalist for the New Republic. who was making up all of his articles. Oh, no. And one of his big articles that landed

was that he wrote about, you know, sneaking into this young Republican party. Oh. And like all the fucked up shit that was going on and the racism and the rape and whatever else. Rape. Wow. I don't remember exactly what he wrote. But, you know, it was like this huge story.

And then years later, they're like, dude, that party didn't even fucking happen. Like, he, like, these guys are so desperate to find anything. I don't know why they're obsessed with the I don't know trying to catch these guys. Oh, you said a bad thing on the internet. It's nanny state shit, man.

Yeah. You would think the Babylon B people above all else would be would be would get it. They're jocksters. Yeah, the importance of speech. But apparently not. Israel before speech, I guess. I was shocked and disgusted to learn

about the racist anti-Semitic and misogynistic comments. They got everybody in there. They got black people, Jews, and women. They teamed them. They got them all. That's the trifecta. This behavior is indefensible.

Oh, well, that's my problem. The war on Hitler. Give me a break, guys. The war on Hitler. It's done. We're fucking done with it. All right, I'm doing one. Yeah.

All right. Let me see if I can find this reveal. This was very exciting. you know, I'm a guy, you know, I love great movies, and there was this you know how they teased the movie. You noticed they didn't put Mexicans in there? They said, these guys are talking shit about Jews, black people, and gay

people. And they didn't put Mexicans in there. Isn't that funny? For some, Mexicans at this point. Is that funny? They don't get a lot of love, I guess. Why didn't we get a shout out? I mean, you better believe that there's anti-Mexican shit in those texts, right? It does seem like they're not talking about Mexicans a lot lately. Again, I listen to the New York debate. Yeah.

There's way more talk of Muslims. Oh, yeah. I guess, you know why? You guys are getting kicked to the curb? Palestine, man. That's all anybody who wants to talk about. Okay, sorry. The Mexicans are not as interesting.

All right, Dick, I want to share with you this is insane. Very exciting leaks or whatever the fuck or preview. views. Here, I'm sharing my screen. Oh, okay. It's not sharing. It's not sharing. I see it right now. I clicked it at the stage. It's not, it's not cheering it. Let me try this one. How about this?

Nope. What the for? There, there. How about that? No, that's your thing. Let me remove it. There. Okay. Okay. Well, can I share this one? This is the preview for Toy Story 5. Yeah.

And they said, guys, look, Toy Story 5 is coming. How excited are you? This is what Woody's going to look like in Toy Story 5. This looks exactly the same. No, no, look, look at it. This is the new one. This is the new Toy Story. Toy Story 5.

It's new. Yeah. And look at Buzz Light. And here, Buzz Lightyer's in it too. And look, this is what Buzz Lightyer. It's an exclusive first look at Toy Story 5. Is that Star News? Exclusive. Star command thing?

Star is new. Somebody put a sticker on him. All right. That's a big change. All right. Anything could happen. I saw this and I said, as everyone did, why the fuck are they making a Toy Story 5? What the fuck is this?

Yeah. My problem, Dick, is unnecessary sequels. Okay. And this is perhaps one of the most unnecessary sequels of all time. Now, you make a movie, the movie makes money. Right. And in a perfect world, you'd walk away. You'd go, we did it.

We nailed it. There's nothing more to say. Yeah. Unfortunately in Hollywood, so often, you go, well, maybe we could say a little bit more. And then maybe that goes okay to go out. maybe take another stab at it. Have you seen all the Toy Story movies? I've seen one in three.

Oh, I think I saw four with that sport. You never saw two? I don't remember two. No. All right. Toy Story one. It's a perfect little narrative about two toys and become friends, whatever. I don't even know what the fucking theme is.

It's about being friends. Yeah. Okay, cool. Number two is about what he was going to abandon his friends, but they learns you got to stick by your friends. Okay. So you learn about friends.

All right. And you get some new friends. Yeah. Sure. Three's about getting older, you know. Yeah. That's the one where Andy's going off to college. You're getting replaced.

You part ways. Yeah. You know, but, you know, even though you lose friends, you might make new friends. Yeah, you can make new friends. Yeah, yeah. Because, again, they get picked up by Bonnie.

Yeah. The new kid, you know, they got new friends. And they got new toys they made. they meet. Okay. It's all about, okay. Okay. And then what's where four was about.

Four was about she made a friend. Made a friend. Yeah. Yeah. It made a friend out of a fork. And then also it's okay to leave your friends because you have new friends. Don't leave your friends. Just because your friends left you doesn't mean you should leave your friends.

That's what it's about. What he does at the end of the movie leave his friends? And it's okay to leave your friends for new friends. It's okay to leave your friends for new friends. And the friends you had are. still your friends. Well, what's your thinking about it? Well, we don't know yet. I assume

it's going to be about the importance of your friends. Like, that's it. There's nothing, there's nowhere else to go with this. Why would you want to go anywhere? It's perfect. Talking about friends. You got a friend in me.

Yeah. Is what I would say. Why would you want to ruin that? What do you want it to be about, like, gay stuff? Well, they already did ruin it. Toy Story 3 was a perfect ending to the series. Is that it's the toys get passed on to a new kid the circle of life begins a new time goes on whatever a new generation picks it up

then the fourth one is like also remember that chick you used to bang well now she's like a divorced fucking washed up whole peep's whole thing was like a weird divorced lady yeah it was weird it was woke

it was woke toy story four was about hooking it was about getting divorced and then hook it up with your old girlfriend and marrying her and settling down in like a little arts and crafts town Oh yeah That was a bad ending

That was a bad ending I remember that Settling It's about settling Betraying your friends Yeah yeah yeah For a lady That's bad

Who's kind of washed up and kind of a skank He's been running around Doing all sorts of things With all sorts of toys Was two about that? Yeah, two was about that cowboy girl, cowgirl. Jesse, yes. Yeah.

But he never, Woody never tried to get with Jesse. Buzz did. That was not a... Buzz did, yes. Buzz and Jesse ended up as a flame. Bad, bad one. The twos, the evens are bad. Because it's about women.

Should be about friends. I'm just saying, I was watching like a preview, and it was not Tom Hanks. Who's the other guy? Who? Christopher Walking. No, no, you're fucking idiot. From home improvement. Tim Allen. Man, Tim Allen is an old, leathery man now.

They're going, well, what did you think about coming back to Toy Story? And he's like, well, you know, this one, it's like going to be Jesse's story, which is very important. I go, no, I don't need any more. No, no, no, no, no. I definitely don't need to have another female focused fucking... It needs to be about Mr. Potato Head. Or... That would be good.

Slinky dog. Slinky dog. Yeah, man. He needs to be about a man. Not about a woman toy. More importantly, you just don't make this shit because you're already told the story you needed to tell. There's no more story left to tell.

Who cares? It's just sequels. It's for kids. What do you care? It's so kids can watch toys. Because they just keep making this shit. Did you see a Neutron movie came out? Yeah, did you watch it?

No. Well, don't you want to see what they're doing? Why? Who is, who likes, man, I mean, they're still making shitty trailer park boys seasons, but I, I keep watching them. Uh-oh, Vito froze. I'm back. Who have you ever met who likes Tron? I love Tron.

It's cool. No, you don't. Shut up. Keep it moving, program. It's like awesome. It's talking about computers and stuff. You don't like Tron. You don't even know.

What do you like about Tron? Tron is cool They turn you into little cubes And pull you into the computer Which Tron do you like? The first one? Every Tron. I like every Tron. Tron 1, Tron 2, Tron the ride

The New One Tron is the worst franchise Ever envisioned by anyone because It never worked even once. You're talking about those motorcycles that go Vier, vion, and you go you hit them explode.

You're telling me that fucking... That's the only thing anybody remembers about Tron. It's one of the coolest things that there ever was. You know how many people... I forgot this. Do you even know why the movies are called Tron? It's a Tron pewter. It was a new type of computer.

No. In the first movie, the program he has to help is a guy named Tron. Yeah. He's the Tron pewter. no but he's not in the rest of the movies now they're just called tron for no reason he's still in there the guy is still in there it would make sense if tron was like the name of the world they went to but instead it's just like his world it's the guy's world it's not his world tron's just one of many programs in tron it's fucking scary man you could be an accountant and then you get sucked into the computer

and you fuck up in that motorcycle game and you're dead in real life it's it's it's very you, it's existentialism. I don't know how the Tron fucking rules work. It's intense. Apparently, the new, the new one's apparently about now they can 3D print Tron in the real world. That's awesome. That's fucking awesome. That's Jared Leto

on a motorcycle and he's driving around. He's driving on a real motorcycle in the real world doing that. Yeah, but he's leaving light cycles around. And he's like, check this shit out and he tries to do it in the real world and he flips his motorcycle over. Look. It's cool. Franchise.

They've never made anything good related to Toronto. What are you talking about? The last one was great when Jeff Bridges was old in the computer. It's fucking sucks. Okay. I'll give you one that I know you'll agree with. Okay. So you make a perfect movie.

And that movie is called, Joker. Joker is great. Yeah. And then what do you do? You make a secret. You mess it up. And you kind of destroyed the entire legacy.

You made a movie that not only cleared a billion at the box office, but was like, primed to go down in history as one of these like beloved films, like a taxi driver or a godfather. Like better. It really gave us

carte blanche to think and say whatever slurs and hate that we wanted to. That Joker made so much hate in the world. It was great. It was really great. And then they made Joker too. Totally.

ruined it totally destroyed everything it's like if you made godfather four in the first scene is an elderly michael bending over and getting raped in the ass yeah raped in the ass and you go aren't you glad we made this and you went so wait what's your problem sequels my problem is unnecessary sequels dick sometimes you make a good thing and you don't need to make another one okay yeah freaky or friday did we really need to revisit that fucking franchise what do you want them to do make like, just new shit all the time? New movies? Yeah, well, yeah, kind of. You can make one sequel.

There's not enough new ideas for that. There's going to be like bicycle man. That's like it's going to be a movie. Did you watch that fucking that new Matrix movie? Yeah, it was horrible. Where Neil Patrick Harris is the architect

and Morpheus is a sassy little black man who's like, ooh, and Neo, I'm a teacher how to get in the Matrix, Neo. We don't have a real good time. What the f- What the f- What's like my grandfather's chicken? Taste just like chicken.

They should have got way sassier with Morpheus. They should have really played it up to the 10th. I would have had a good time with that. God, that was like. Ooh, Neil, I'm going to teach you all so it's a new kung fu. Now, bend over. Let me insert this program up in you. That was the trans coming out.

That movie. There's been a lot of band of Wachowski's, huh? Yeah. I was almost going to make this whole problem just about the Wachowski's. Really? Well, I mean, I'm so tired of having it here where you're like, do you like the Matrix? Yeah, I like The Matrix. You know, that's a trans movie?

The whole movie's about what it means to be trans. And you're like, in what way? No, it's not. You're retarded. They're like, no, they said it. That's what they said. And then you see the quote. And the quote is something along the lines of, yeah, I don't know.

Maybe that was in the back of my head when I was writing it. I didn't really think about it because I was just a horny white guy with a dominatrix girlfriend who destroyed my marriage. I guess that's not the exact quote, but... That is so fucked up. That guy made so much money from The Matrix, and his first thing was he's like, I need a lady to hit me with a whip on the fucking red carpet to the Oscars or something. Didn't he bring his dominator's girlfriend?

What's wrong with his fucking wife? Why couldn't she be like, I don't know. I'll fucking just whip you with whatever shit. He got all that Matrix money, and then he had to wear women's clothing and get spanked in the ass, and eventually it became a new identity. And you're like, okay. This is, uh, yeah, money really spoils creatives. Bad timing.

Like if the Matrix would come out now, there's no, they wouldn't have gone trans. Trans stuff's slowly right now. I love the Matrix. I really, the more I think about it, look, it's not perfect. But the Matrix is like a cool franchise. Okay. That I wish didn't. turn into a bunch of gay stuff

now. What was the gay stuff? You watch the new movie and it's like there's a blue-haired girl pulling Neo through the thing and I don't know. The whole thing feels fucking okay because he used to be. He's doing Hedukins. He's doing Hadookens. He's doing Hadoquins. Because when the Matrix first came out, it was two white guys who were horny out of their mind being like, what if we took fucking Kari Ann Moss? We put her in this fucking

skin tight leather dude and they're like oh dude that'd be so fucking hot i'd want to fucking slam that push dude yeah we should make her do flips and shit and there was like this real masculine fucking energy to it because they still had testosterone coursing through their bodies oh yeah and then he should like have like machine guns he should be like i want to fucking my girlfriend in that tight leather i want to fuck her so bad that i'm going to shoot these fucking machine guns and then they ingested themselves with all this fucking estrogen and shit So now when they make the movie, they're like, I think they should kiss and go to a coffee and talk about their relationship.

Oh, a meeting? Yeah, like a meeting, like at work. Dude, that Wachowski, the one who directed the new one, should have, like, temporarily detransitioned before making the movie. He's been like, jack me up on some testosterone. Give me my penis back. I need to be horned out of my mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll take that penis off the show.

Yeah. You can't be running high on estrogen trying to write a Matrix movie because you're going to be writing all this weepy fucking bullshit about It's about love man He just loves Trinity, man No, he doesn't love Trinity He wants to fuck the shit out of Trinity That's what the movie's about

Chasing the White Rabbit Which he's like, who's that hot chick poured in that fucking cats shit? I want to slam that cunt so fucking hard Yeah And that energy is gone from the Overie, it's just gone Yeah Sucks

Yeah. Okay. I feel like we did like sequels before as a problem. We did reboots. Oh, we did? Somebody's saying

we're getting some buffering issues or something. Okay. Well, that'll probably work out or it won't. This is my, here's my problem. Vibe bombing. I'm calling it. The U.S. Army is... Vibe bombing.

The U.S. Army is using AI for military decisions. and they say they're really close on you are like just stuttering am yeah yeah hold on am i doing it as well test one one two test one one two oh yeah maybe i am it's like this there's like some stud could we uh no how would that but that wouldn't be on our end because we're gone through stream yard yeah so stream yard is a mysterious thing The stream yard's the one delivering the audio to the platform. Yeah. Uh, I don't know.

Is it still doing it? I don't know, but there's nothing we could do to fix it. It would mean that's a problem on Streamyard's end. Yeah. Maybe it's YouTube. Somebody saying Streamyard does this sometimes. Oh, it does. Mm.

Love the constant buffering, he says. Mm-hmm. There's nothing we could do because of this podcast. I don't know how you would fix this. Hmm. Test one, one, two. Test one, one, two. I don't know if that's going to fix it.

Well, I mean, we can finish recording it or something. Yeah. Tell me what you want to do. Let's just record it. Okay. Was it my problem? Did they do this thing? Yes.

Oh, yeah, vibe bombing. Okay, the U.S. U.S. government's using Chad GPT to do bombing. Major General Hank Taylor, one of the top somebody, is using Chad GPT to make military decisions. How about that? What do you think about that? Well, that's what Palantir exists for, I thought.

They shouldn't use ChatGPT. I don't think, is Palantir anything more than just like a database linker? I hear all this talk about them but is it anything more than just like Microsoft BI Like is it just linking all the military databases together Is that what it is? Is it something extremely disappointing? They have a video you can watch how it works

Oh really? Yeah the whole reason I invested in them way back when Was because I watched their video and they're like And then you can select which of the brown people You want to blow up with the missile from this helpful drop-down menu Yeah but is that actually exists or is it just bullshit a video. I'm asking to build, trying to build

models to help all of us, he told Washington D.C. As a commander, I want to make better decisions. I want to make sure that I make decisions at the right time to give me the advantage. It feels like this is a joke article, is it? Am I getting duped by an AI article? Who was using chat GPT, an actual general?

Yeah, he said in 2024 that people think AI is going to determine who's the winner in the next battlefield. They're not that far off. Decisions are going to be made. William Hank Taylor. And not at human speed before too long. There you go.

Making chat GBT bombs. Comments, Mark, one of the most direct acknowledgments to date of a senior American military official using a commercial chatbot. So he's typing in all of the things that the U.S. military has to do into chat GBT, which is not secure at all. It also is not that smart. and he's getting his cock sucked by the robot like oh this that's such a great idea general yeah you should totally do that um why do we have these guys why do we have a general's yeah why do we have i don't know why do we have so many why do we have a thousand of these guys doing god knows what what are they they sitting around thinking about and doing nothing not a goddamn thing yeah no i mean like that That's any government job. I was thinking about that today where I go, man, it seems like the whole point of government jobs is just to do as little work as possible

and take as much money from the taxpayers as you possibly can. Yeah. I can't imagine what decisions they would be faced with. Seeing how the conflicts are shaped, like geopolitically. Like this is happening in Russia. Oh, this is happening in the Middle East. what are these fat retards sitting around thinking about besides just kind of eyeballing everything like well i don't know uh yeah i guess we could do that yeah i mean yeah maybe rush will stop yeah maybe not i don't know

maybe then you got then you got to have pete heggseth show up and like lecture you or something about i don't know respecting uh what did he do you got to lose weight he said that was awesome Yeah, but then he also was like, we're going to, we're going to make sure that all these guys who killed all these Native Americans keep their medals and shit. I'm not really, I got, I'm not really, we got that worried about that, man. They love their medals. I'm not really, I'm not really losing sleep over that one. They love, if you take away their medals, they throw a big tantrum. They start screaming, beating their hands and feet on the ground.

they really need them every day if they don't get a medal he's upset he's telling the military no more woke we got to get the woke out of there

we got to get the woke out of the AI we got to get the woke out of the AI I don't know what's going on with her military well you got

peace in Palestine so we don't got to worry about anything yeah right we nailed it mm-hmm all right

that's my problem okay you want to do super chats I guess I don't know to unfortunately we're having audio issues if you're listening to this at home hopefully we've fixed it on the re-upload vote on all the problems at biggest problem

that show and check out our bonus episodes which we need to do another one very soon so let's figure that out okay super chats here we go and for those of you listening now

you're getting robotic audio. Something's wrong with Stream Yard. It affects all stream yards, not just us. Oh, they're saying the audio's fixed. Great. Yeah, there's nothing we can do except for clear up. Thank you for God's for two. Thank you for not killing yourselves. Thank you.

Coup for five. Thank you for not killing yourselves. Day one of eight. Another win for the toe. Oh, yeah, the toes and the toes. The toes. Been locked up. The toes in lockup.

Steel bars. Yeah. video show. Boom. Okay, that's the closest I got to a joke. We were both searching for something. He's probably having fun. Yeah.

I mean, you know, did you hear him talking about it where he's like, they got a, you can watch sports, you know, they give you a tablet you can play on, you can text and chat and whatever. You can't? I think they just, yeah, apparently. Oh. Yeah, so I don't know. Apparently you can play on your device.

and I saw it but then I saw on their YouTube it says April's hosting the show and now I'm really confused. April? Yeah, isn't April the girl he broke up with? Uh, yeah, sure.

Yeah. She's, it says, she's hosting the show. Are you like tweeted it or something? It said like April returns to the show and I was like, wait, am I confused? Is that one of their like jokes? Like, it must be. Maybe it'll be somebody in a wig.

Great. Let's see. From the steel toe, here's some of his tweets. Eight days in a row, canteen time. Excited about the canteen. He says, toilet wine is Mogan David. I had no idea. And he says, it's so nice to hear you have nice eyes so much.

This feels like a glow up. Is he in prison right now? He's tweeting from prison? Is he tweeting from prison? He's not tweeting. I would think if he was in prison and had access to tweeting, he would be tweeting more. So I don't think he could be in prison yet. No, he's probably got them.

He's probably scheduled them. Scheduled tweets. Let's see. Bald Max for 20. Happy birthday, Vito. Get yourself something nice. I tried. I bought a bed frame.

And it showed up late. Now I'm going to sleep on the floor. This year is going to be awesome for you in the show. Rock on. Real black guy for five. you don't understand Hassan's plans for saving Palestine. Call CPS, shock the dog. Ethan's kids get taken away.

Palestine is saved. Also sick Riley on him. Pigeon for five. This is my favorite professional comedy production. Pineapple Man for two. Shout out to Schmidt and Cardinal. Yippers Wahoo. Strategie for five.

You perigons of comedy did it again, starting an episode with no sound so that we can reflect on the comedic talent within ourselves. I salute you. Thank you. Charles Barker for two. Five minutes of silence would be funny. A Katie did clip.

uh not i think you use the wrong word tedious would be the right word riley and friends for five i'm taking a break from poli legend zah for the nintendo switch two for this hopefully it's a good one boys thank you riley and friends coach cake for five low energy veto wet blanket veto always with the hot sleepiness i come buckets for five let's not attack sasha gray she was great on throated cypherson suck sucks suckus cypherson suckus for two What's your favorite part of Superkiller? I thought I forgot about it. Strategie for two. I freeze my hot dogs.

Makes them more nutritious. Oh, does it? Chris Schofield for two. Vito put your bed together tonight. Mike Hunt for five. Amazon has estimated delivery date. Estimated. Like you said about Superkiller.

Frank 12 for five. Looks like we're in a low energy era today. Don V for two. Happy birthday, Vito. Psycho bite for five. Dick, have you ever submitted vital records to have have your Mexican citizenship recognized. Recognized by whom?

Mexico. Mexico? No. Can you get dual citizenship with Mexico? No. I can't. I'm not Mexican. I can get dual citizenship with Italy.

You can? How? Yeah. My sister did it. How do you do that? You just prove ancestry and you become an Italian citizen. And if you ever want to move to the EU. oh wow you have to pay taxes

uh if you move there oh i don't i never i didn't know you could do something like that maybe i can do it in mexico what's their tax rate there you might be able to yeah okay taxes in america suck yeah anti-cleric for ten back my failing kickstarter called the horror and i'll add veto and dick to the game uh with any luck they'll sue me the horror

The horror on Kickstarter. Let's see. I have no idea. The horror. Kickstarter. Sounds great. I like that he didn't say like it's a game or a book or he just said, the horror. It's just not going to be easy to find.

Oh, yeah. He didn't say, no, he said game. He'll add us to the game. Oh, okay. The horror, a retro. By Titan 1 Studios. Horror ARPG. What's an ARPG?

Action role-playing game? A-R-P is like a typo. Adventure, adventure, maybe. It's a typo. The horror, a retro horror RPG with a typo. Diablo 2 meets the cabin in the woods. Hey, I'm looking at the gameplay. It's kind of cool.

It's like a TV. All right, that looks kind of cool. It's coming October 30th. Ooh, okay. The horror. All right, I like it. Okay, good luck with that. I think you got to give it a more,

I think you're going to give it a name that's a little more like something you can tell someone about. Well, yeah, I'm going to say, like, if somebody just goes to Google and types in horror, they can't find your fucking game. Yeah. You're going to call it like Horror Nights Neon Dynasty Forever. Yeah. Yeah. The horror raped. Like that.

Drunken Athea studio for five. I bought a $23 drone from Temu tried to test in a park. and immediately went rogue and started flying directly towards O'Hare Airport. Not good. Juba the Man for Tew says, I hate Vito so much. I come buckets for two says Vito doesn't understand McDonald's bonus play, laughing my ass off. Why is that so funny? Vito doesn't understand the McDonald's bonus play.

What a rude. I guess not. I don't fucking know what he's talking about. Nebel Studios, Vito hasn't been fighting online. studio soon. I come buckets for five. Speaking of leaked messages thought on Ethan Ralph leaking DMs like a woman. I have

not seen this. I have no idea what that is. I come buckets for two. Vito, I've been watching AI videos of kids. Uh-oh. Traudgery for five. If I leave my friends because they were dicks, but then I watch Toy Story 5 and it chucks a dix in my ass. How do I leave those

dicks? Asking for a friend. Jubal the Man for Tusses the Tron video game was my childhood. I'm going to say that common is faulty because there was multiple Tron games. You have to specify which one you're talking about. Now, I assume you're talking about Tron deadly disks,

which was probably the most popular Tron home console game. No, it's the one on your phone where you go around, do the motorcycle game. You've got to not hit your motorcycle. Okay, well, when you say the Tron video game,

there's a lot of Tron video games. Famously on the Atari. Yeah. Fucking Tron sucks. You got to move around. Tertory for two says, I'm great things with a Marcus B. Tron.

Oh. I come buckets for two. Love the constant buffering and skipping. Top tier. Yeah, well. Gray beans for 799 says, does Vito realize Superkiller still needs to be printed and shipped? Oh, I know.

I'm very aware. And Diamond G for 222 says, oink, oink, oink. Oink, o'ink, well. What a show. Sorry for the technical problems. We'll be back next week. Vote on all the problems and biggest problem.

show. Check out patreon.com slash biggest problem for our latest bonus episode and take care of yourself and the people around you. Bye. Bye. Bye.