The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Biggest Problem 208

Episode Date: October 25, 2025

Bo ba-b-b-b-b-b-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. Did it work? I think you nailed it. Was everybody just staring at me being depressed for five minutes? For five minutes? That was pretty bad. No. Vito. That was the luckiest five minutes of my life.

Are you kidding me? Because you could have been jacking it. I could have been doing anything. I could have been picking my nose. I could have been fucking with my teeth. I could have been jacking off, kind of. It could have been one of those classic DSP moments where he thinks the streams off

and then he's whacking it, jacking it, spanking it, cranking it. What if I just stood up a little bit of my... Taking the weasel. Yeah, you could have had your boxers, your penis could have hung it through a little bit. My wiener outline. The head of my wiener could have been outlined by my pants. As you know, all us podcasters, the first 10 minutes before a podcast is just adjusting your penis.

Because you know you're going to be here for like two hours and you're just kind of fucking playing with it and trying to get it in the right place. I try to behave totally differently in this room because of that reason. Yeah. Well, for me, before the podcast starts, it's just like a half hour of, you know,

pulling it on one side. Is it going to be comfortable there? And then, you know, moving the balls around, tucking the ball. Are you a ball tucker? Uh, what do you tuck your balls into your ass? What do you mean? No, no.

When you take the, you take the boxers and you tuck under the balls. tuck under the balls of what? Well, so that the balls aren't touching the leg. So it goes ball, then boxer, then leg. How do you have a protective wall of boxer preventing ball touching? Like wrapping a present? Yeah, you're just wrapping it.

I just go down and I wrap around. It's like you got a ball of pizza dough and you just, you know, that's better. So you like push your underwear up into the crack between your testicles and your leg? Maybe only when I'm sitting, when I'm sitting. Yeah, I don't want a bowl. Right now, I'm doing it right now. I'm tucking. And there.

Like a brazier? Because otherwise it's going to create, you know. Yeah, it's kind of like a ball's ear. No, I don't do that. I don't wear boxers, though. They're just, boxers are just like other shorts. They get too bunched up. So what they do on accident what you're describing doing to them on purpose.

Do you wear briefs? Uh, what are like the tight ones with legs? I think those are still, what do you mean with legs? They have like little, those are boxes on them. No, no, boxes are loose. Briefs. Boxer briefs. Boxer briefs.

What are tidy whitties? Those are the white underwear that are, you know, very... That's what I wear, too. You don't wear that. I do wear, I might have some on right now. No, I have the leg... Leg kinds are on right now. You have traditional the tight underwear?

Yeah, tidy white brand. underwear. Yeah. That's weird. Color, too. American apparel. Here's what I never understood. You go to the, you go to the stores and the holidays, and they go, how about some novelty boxers? And I went, what is this for? Why is that cool?

Because it's like, you're a little party. To get you, because your girlfriend sees it. Like, your mom shouldn't be getting you that. I think moms will get that. They go, oh, I got you. I remember, like, years ago, I think my mom was like, I got you this, Halo gift set with these Halo Boxers. Did she get it off Timu? What the fuck am I to wear a Halo Boxer? She should have got it on Tamu. You got Halo boxers? That's not for a man. That's for like little kids.

Well, I think I was a little kid when I got it. Halo was like 20 years old at this point. I got some, I think my mom got me some Christmas briefs. And they're the most comfortable pair of underwear I have. So I wear them all year round. Just having like a nice Christmas day. Nobody needs to know about it. Nobody needs to know. Nobody needs to know. that I'm having Christmas in July. Christmas is right around the corner. It's just for me, you know? Good old Christmas.

Today's, uh, it's almost Halloween, huh? Uh, yeah, are you excited? I don't have any plans. Right now there's a Halloween event for children outside my house, so I'm not allowed to leave the premises. That's not true, but. Does you get your teeth cap or something? Why your teeth's so white?

I don't know, man. Do they look whiter? Do you have like a black light on? in there? Yeah, I got my black light. I think my light might be turned up a little much. What was I going to say? Kids event. Tomorrow, I know you're a big

Back to the Future guy. I am, yeah. Well, tomorrow, I thought I'd let you know at the Puente Hills Mall is the big Back to the Future meetup. Of all the BTTF fans dressed up, there's going to be a million Marties, a million docs. There's actually going to be a signing in the mall with some of the cast and crew. I don't

know who exactly is going to be there. Is Michael J. Fox? I would love to get a, you know... I am sure Michael J. Fox is not going to the fucking Plenty Hill's Ball. It's going to be like, kid from the diner who said, that's a baby game. And he's going to be there, and he's 60 years old, going, yeah, yeah, that was in that movie.

That guy was cool, though. That was a good line read. That's a baby game. Like, usually kids suck in movies, but that was, that kid was great. The reason I know about it is somebody on Instagram, they sent me, have you noticed a donkey lips has become a part of the extended podcast canon

yeah but isn't he like skinny now? No donkey lips? Not that I can tell donkey lips from a sneaker shorts on Nickelode. I thought he was really skinny now or is that his replacement that's skinny now? No he's still he looks like a big I think you're thinking of fucking Ethan suplea or something he got jacked

maybe donkey lips is a guy who did nothing after being donkey lips oh good and you know I think the only money he makes is by overcoming his type two diabetes to down to the Comic-Con and sign a couple glossy Polaroids. Who the fuck is that? Who the fuck's paying for a donkey-lips signature?

I saw the Black Power Ranger at a con one time, and I was like, oh, hey, you were on space cases, which was another Nickelodeon show? He was like, he was like, yeah, I was on space cases. I'm like, oh, me and my sister loved space cases. He's like, do you want to buy a photo? I'm like, no, I don't want a fucking photo. The fuck out of here. No one wants a photo of you.

I would like to meet UG and punch him right in the face. Good old UG. Somebody sent me. donkey lips Instagram post talking about how he woke up with his foot bleeding because of his diabetes

and how he's hoping somebody can give him a ride to the back to the future meetup donkey lips needs a ride and I was consider I consider it I'm like should I reach out and offer donkey lips a ride

you should I don't know the fucking guy but this dude on Instagram he would mean is donkey lips everyone knows donkey lips a ride to the back to the future meetup and I'm like

I don't fucking know the guy. He's like, come on, dude. How bad could he be? If he was even a little bit bad, there would be like an hour-long docu-series about it on Netflix. So he's got to be okay. Well, I think WATP Carl has talked about him because I think he does have some sort of sad.

If Docuilips was a pedophile, he would have stayed in the Nickelodeon ecosystem, you know? So you know he's a good guy because he just did nothing. He was too pure. He's like, I don't want to hang around kids all day. I have no reason. I don't want to rape them. Yeah.

And he wasn't a rapable child, so they had no use for him. after that first show, you know? They keep the pretty kids around. The point is, maybe I'll send a message to donkey lips and see if he needs a ride. But I assume somebody else has already offered him a ride. Why? It's been like a day.

Who the fuck would want to give donkey lips a ride? Well, that's what I'm fucking saying. I don't even know why he's going to the back. I guess he's just a big back to the future fan. What even is he? Anyway, what is donkey lips? Yeah. Well, he's just like a guy now.

He's just like a guy now. I don't even know if he has a job or what. I know Carl WATP was doing like some sort of segment on him. Segment on Donk. Is that a new show that Carl has? Who are these donkey lips? Michael Ray Bauer. Who are these donkey lips?

He could be seen in commercials for Mountain Dew's Amp Energy. He's literally done nothing since like 1992. Is he still playing donkey lips? In what? What would he play donkey lips in? Just like around town. Like is he going to be a Back to the Future being donkey lips? He's done.

some voice acting. He was in Halo 3 ODST in 2009. And in 2010, he played the local population in Red Dead Redemption. And then his voice acting career kind of fell off. He wasn't in Redemption 2? Red Dead 2? No, he wasn't in the, he didn't make

another second one. I guess they had enough crowd guys. That's a bummer, D.K.L. Point is, tomorrow, guys, if you come out to the Puente Hills Mall, I might be there. Donculus may be there. Also might be there. And it might be you guys together. So there's a chance. There's a chance you're going to see Vito and motherfucking donkey lips getting out of a car together in the sunset.

Be a good combo. Maybe this is like, you know, maybe we've been waiting our whole lives to link up. What if you guys become best friends? I mean, we got a lot in common. He's a big fat diabetic guy. I'm getting there. He's like the ghost of diabetes future for you. I got my blood work done.

Okay. They replaced it? No, no diabetes, boom, suck it. Now, are there other things that are horrifically wrong with me? Yes, but, uh, diabetes is not one of them. That's not how it works. They don't have, like, a specific test for each one. It's just they have your fucking blood love.

Diabetes types. It's like a DSM manual now for diabetes. My blood's not, my blood's not terrible. I got thick blood. My blood's a little thick. Bro, you have fucking diabetes. I don't have diabetes. They checked the fucking thing.

They jumbled up your blood with somebody then. That being said, because of my health insurance, I had to go to a Chinese fucking doctor. Wow. And I could tell this guy, I could tell this guy was running a really good scam. Because he's like, now listen, no medical textbook will tell you this, but you need vitamin E. And I'm like, oh, really? He's like, yeah, so I'm just going to write you a prescription for that. You know, and I'm like, does that help with this?

And he's like, there's no, like, you know, evidence of it. But I feel, I'm not going to tell you what the fuck diseases I got. But he's like, yeah, you should take this vitamin E and this fish liver oil. I think he was just prescribing me anything that you can just take and it doesn't matter. Does he think you need a prescription for vitamin E? Because you don't. You just go to Amazon. But he's saying if you do it through the prescription, I think he gets.

He's a kickback? Yeah, we do it, right? Yeah, classic. Isn't the more, the more shit he prescribes, the more fucking money you make? Chinese. They're exactly like Jews except you can make jokes about them. That's the Chinese. He was prescribing all sorts of ancient Chinese medicines. Oh, yeah.

I'm like, I just kind of had a headache, man. He's like, you need way more fucking fish oil. It's because you got diabetes. I don't have diabetes. I checked. I don't have any type of diabetes. You got to recheck, man. This guy's doing, he's eyeballing it.

You need to go to a real doctor that runs, like, science tests on it. Not just like swishing it around like a glass of wine. You did have a lot of Chinese shit on the walls. Not sticking to the sides of the, of the, test tube very much. So you're cleaning. It was interesting because he also, it was him in the room and then there was a Chinese lady and he'd just look at me, like, yeah, we gotta get you more fish oil.

And then he turned your own and he'd go, Nihaya, y'all, you chukana! And she's like, tip and tap on the fucking thing and start adding shit to like the list of prescriptions. And I'm like, he's just got a lady to fucking all right. Yeah. Okay. I had fun at the Chinese doctor. That's cool.

Thank you. Congratulations. I don't have diabetes. He's don't have diabetes. He's don't have diabetes. He's going to diabetes, he's going to have diabetes. Problem is the universe. Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe. The only show that ranks every problem in the universe

from Pixar producing Toy Story 5 to people thinking Hitler is still alive? Hitler from Smelling Unfortunate. I'm your host, Nickmast, and joining me, as always, is Vito Giswaldi. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello, everybody.

Let's do this right this time. Here we go. Here we go. The big winner. Refreshing the page, it's unnecessary sequels. Hey, big winner. Winner. Winner, winner, winner.

We need a winner song. I'll make a Vito One song. Okay. How about this one? That's not a winning song. That's a different song. Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay. You're very proud of this.

It's always on. It's always on the board. We don't know the gay team guy. This song is too long. I agree. You need a shorter version. Yeah, no, we need no version. Game or gate never happened.

Brought to you by seven seconds this is. Carrying out Anita Sarkisian's agenda since 2018. A winning song, the winner. It's a winning song. A winning song. Well, if you give me a song, I'll play it when you win.

And I can play that when I win. All right, I'm going to win a winning song for me. The War on Hitler. I just won and you played it anyway, but okay, go ahead. That was just the one-time joke. If you have your own real song, I'll play that. The War on Hitler, number two. I'm kind of surprised by that.

I figured there was more any semites in the audience, but they're probably all wore out from arguing online, no big deal. Delivery anticipation. Number three. And vibe bombing. And then the new McDonald's Monopoly is all the way on the bottom. That's fucking stupid, man. The new McDonald's Monopoly sucks.

I got lazy. I stopped applying for my free codes. You did? Yeah, I should have kept it going. See, they overwhelm you. The new one overwhelms everyone. Sucks. Well, because I think, I don't think you can win prizes with the free codes.

I assume all the actual prize. prizes are printed on the tickets. Fucking exactly. Fucking exactly. Now I don't even know. Cheapens it. Okay, that was it. All the comments are basically negative.

That's fine. Strategory. Episode begins with a radio show performing in the style of a silent film. Excellent talent. What time to be alive. Yeah, man, that was... I had about 20 seconds of being the most afraid I've ever been in my life. Oh, God, what did I do?

I understand. I understand that feeling. Whew. I was like, oh, great. Kino, Casino, here I come. Kino, Kino. Case man says he... Did you what Dick Mask we should did?

Oh, what a boner. What a boner. But do they have boner sound effects on Kino Casino? They should. It seems like that would be, that would be on par for them. Boing. You see, Andy Worski was dressed up with big fake tits? why for what reason

October Fest I have not watched any look I don't know I just saw a clip I saw a picture I was like that's a weird looking like oh what's going on

that's a weird funny it was funny it was funny when PPP dressed up like that like the orange McDonald's pumpkin the happy meal

I mean they commit to the costumes I can't hate that I guess we love guys to a costume big fake tits It's like, wow, look at this. That's great. Like that shop teacher in Canada.

Caseman says the episode where both hosts completely gave up. Thank you, Caseman. Yes. Wiggly McWigley, I have insomnia, but listening to the latest biggest problem in the universe, episodes at night has helped me immensely. Very funny. There you go. Jam says Vito talking about his bed, legit.

Put me to sleep. I turned off the stream and went to bed early. Okay. All right. The Baby Badass Just to let you guys know I watched the first 200 episodes Episode episodes of the show

Religiously and now I don't even watch it You fucked up, okay We suck That was a bad one Alex Lider for I might have grown up Poor or just in the South But we mostly boiled our hot dogs Unless we were going outside

Okay, this is a hot dog comment That's good Yeah I don't know A lot of people were like Dude you gotta boil them And I'm like no Come on I know like they'll

I guess it's not the worst, but, man, aren't they going to get fucking waterlogged? That's nuts to me. The hot dog's going to get waterlogged? Yeah. I don't know about that. Let's see. Negative, negative, negative.

Zavron says Vito sounds fucking dead. What the hell's the point? Oh, that's negative. Oh, here we go. Kevin H., if Mr. Beast were to give a cripple a bionic leg, Vito would spur out that Jimmy there must be an ulterior motive and would speculate from anything from Big Pharma, using them as a secret test subject

to the leg being a secret DARPA program. I don't know if you really do conspiracies like that. Meanwhile, the guy who regularly advocates attacking and killing people he doesn't like seemingly zaps his dog for doing something he doesn't like. Vito just can't figure out why. Why? Because he is a team guy.

I'm not a team. I'm not on what that... I don't even know that fucking guy. What's his name? Piker? You don't know him? Yeah. Barely. You know I head over to his house regularly or anything? No. No. You guys don't hang out? Stupid.

No. You guys don't take up chicks together. You're not hanging out, you're going to hang it out guy, you're not cool. I don't listen to that guy. I don't know nothing about that guy. You and Hassan, you don't pal around? Me and Hassan, best friends. A little movie perp, unnecessary sequels, kind of like unnecessary episodes.

All right. More negative comments. Um, LSD, what's the point of the show? At this point, the hosts hate it, and each other in the audience clearly hates it, too, judging by the comments. Well, I don't think the audience hates the show. Pretty well-crafted negative comment there, LSD. Uh, got to give you props to that on that. Um, Captain Killjoy, ironically, says, thank you, Dick, for liking Tron.

I love it. Hmm. That's great. That's great. It's the stupidest thing. I don't think so Who likes Trump Ash Gibbitts

Vito get new stories It's like listening to a dementia patient Okay I agree But I think that's part of the problem With doing a podcast for 200 episodes You might hear some of the same stories I'm sorry

I don't know about that You don't know about that You always have a brand new story Every time Yeah basically I only talk about stuff That happened this week for that reason I don't want to repeat this shit That might be a good point

All right, that's the end of the negative comments, or all the comments, sorry, same thing. Ha, ha, ha. Let's do a segment called Vote! It up. This is new? Captain Puma. Sure. It's horrible.

I wonder if you know. Biggest problem dot show. If you've seen it and you've seen it. You mean it, then you know you must. Vote. Fat and furious. Yeah. Vote, vote, vote.

Fat and furious. Kitah. Vote, vote. Sucking on my tears like you wanted. Okay, now you're just playing the song, which is the thing you're not. Short and sweet. I actually cut it off pretty good. Welcome to vote it out.

Guys, I got a couple of problems here that you might remember. Dick, I think this was one of years. From bonus episode 32, the biggest problem in sports was the problem of sports gambling. Oh. I think you were opposed to on some sort of philosophical level? Sure. Yeah. Well, isn't it like everybody's betting on sports now?

Everybody has this little... Yeah, it's just like way too predatory, man. Like, people are losing so much money on it. And the guys who are making the money are pieces. of shit, fuck them. So let's make it illegal. It does seem like we've entered, I was watching a video, and again, it was about those Labuboos and the trading cards and whatever else, where it's like, eh, just fucking, let's just make everything into gambling. Yeah, at least you can sell a

liboooo. Every single aspect of life. Or you could wigg, you know, dangle it around. You don't know which libubu you're going to get in it, so you don't know which one you get it. Well, but women are doing libuboos, so fuck them. Men are doing sports gambling, and it's like, It's just all over every game. It's all over all the advertising. They're way too into it. They're losing. And it's like, it's like people have like a, you know, a problem with their brain and a predisposition to gambling.

So it's, they're fucked, which really sucks for them. And plus I hate Dave Portnoy. So it's, I'm extra morally against it. It is, uh, I'm always glad that I don't know any sport intimately enough to consider betting on it. So it always seems like these guys think they're going to have an edge. They're like, well, I know my team, and they're going to play my guy. Yeah, I don't know. I think they want to just feel like more involved in the game.

I don't know. I don't get it. Well, here's the reason you shouldn't be sports gambling is because it's the easiest thing in the world to fuck around at any point in time. As proven by the fact that four NBA games have been named as having games involved in the FBI sweeping investigation into illegal sports gambling, which has led to the arrest of Miami. heat guard Terry Rosier and ex-player, Damon Jones, according to officials. The multi-million dollar scheme, which took...

Yeah, one was an ex-player, and then Rosier, I don't know. I don't know. All I know is this is a multi-million dollar scheme taking place from January 2022 and March 2024, allegedly involving sharing non-public information with betters, such as when

players would be sitting out games or would pull themselves early from games. Oh my God. How do you get caught, is my question. How do you get caught? Because they talk all the time. Yeah, I know. Well, I guess you're, when you look at the athletes involved, you go, ah, these are some loud mouths, huh?

You need it's never, it's never, it's never, the quiet white guys get away with it. Yeah, but. The quiet white guy doesn't tell anybody. Yeah, serial killers get away with it. That is so easy. I just, I go out there and I go, ow, my fucking foot hurts so bad. And then I make $200,000. And you go, well, you're not supposed to talk about it.

And that's a, why is that he? legal. Who cares? Well, it's the sanctity of the sport. I mean, if the gambling is real. But it's the sanctity of the gambling. It's not the sanctity of the sport, so a guy's out. Like, that's the same thing Pete, that happened with Pete Rose.

He's betting on himself. Who gives a fuck? Well, he was betting on himself, but he wasn't, you know, that's the thing. It's like, he wasn't betting against himself. This guy's betting against himself. Oh, these guys are throwing games? Yeah, yeah. That's what was happening. I don't give a shit about that either. I

I wish there was a little goblin in the parking lot after all sports games that would just punch people in the fucking balls as they're leaving a stadium. If their experience is better than that, then good. That's fine. We are getting to a point with gambling, like, with polymarket and shit, where I remember when they were like, what will be the next color dildo that gets thrown on the court? And I go. Then they killed that, didn't they? Did they kill that bet? Because some of these bets, like, you can actually alter, you know, where it's like.

Like, will this guy be president in 30 days? You're like, well, not if I take him out with a high-powered sniper rifle. You know, you can influence the fucking bet. So how can they have those bets that the public can fuck around with? Like, a bet should be something that, like, you know, you can't alter in some way. You know, you guys sent your best guys to kill Trump and you couldn't do it. What are you talking about? That's true.

So you're right. I guess you can. Well, not the president. Unless you're talking about Mam-dammy. Mammy. I bet on, I remember I bet a whole bunch on a. fucking Andrew Andrew Yang to be president

or not not president mayor mayor of New York oh mayor of New York I was like oh man he's definitely gonna win and then Black Lives Matter happened

and I watched the odds go from like do do do do do do I'm like no no god damn it the odds went before Black Lives Matter was yeah I got destroyed on that that was a bad bet

anyway the FD you thought he was a shoe in or what why did you bet on Andrew he had good he was he was the He was the front runner for a little while there. He was everybody, because everybody else was on stage going, duh, New York, duh, duh, and he went,

I don't do math and, like, fix stuff. And I'm like, eh, that's pretty good. That's a good platform. Yeah. And it turned out going, duh, is a fucking good strategy when the old country fucking loses their mind. Dick, the FBI has arrested 31 people

involved in these alleged gambling scams. Let me know if any of your favorites got hit. Nelson, Spanish, G. Alvarez, Amar, flapper, poker, awa di. Is that a real name? Poker guys.

Flapper poker? Flapper poker. Aw wedda. Matthew, the wrestler, Didino. Get the fuck out of here. Eric Spooky Ernest. They also got,

and this is the worst, they got Thomas, Tommy Juice, Geraldo. Oh, they got Tommy Juice. Damn. They got Tommy Juice. Tea Juice went down. Tony, Black Tony, Goodson is gone.

Black Tony, too? Black Tony, Albanian Bruce Hody. Oh, good. I went down. And Anthony Doc Shannaderman went down. Are you serious? These aren't real names. Sophia Pookie Way went down.

That's a lady. They got Pookie. They got Pookie. Yeah, Pookie was there to, you know. The Hague. Make sure everybody kept gambling. He's going to prison. They got a lot of guys.

12 billion balls he's going down I'll say this is my biggest problem is never getting a cool mob nickname like Tommy juice can't remember the name of that that art installation with the shark that's he's gone he's in trouble fuck I know that guy's name because you said the shark no that's his name a cool art installation guy with the shark no I can't remember the art installation with the shark that's his name you know those guys who rub the crown jewels? Yeah. They went after the shark first. Oh, they did? They couldn't get it in their bags. They said, I guess we'll take it the fucking crown jewels.

They wanted the shark. Anyway, that's sports gambling currently number three, six, uh, 631 with only 104 up votes. Guys, you got to vote it up. Do it for pooky. Do it for pokey. Uh, Dick from episode 12, this is all the way back. And this is a problem I brought in to, uh, respect my Italian brothers. Uh-huh.

Is the problem of Columbus hate. Now as we get closer to the New York mayoral election, certain unsavory details were coming out against... I, yeah, I think... Well, actually, no. It was like two weeks ago. Whatever. It's like...

This is in the news. It's in the news. We need to do you in Halloween stuff, two weeks from now? Yeah, it doesn't matter. Now this matters. All right. Democratic Socialist mayoral nominee, Zohran Mamdani.

has been accused of Italian-American hate based on this tweet from as recent as 2020. Dick, can you share my screen? What's that? Look at that. This is Zoran flipping off New York City's Columbus statue saying, take it down. This is from 2020. The Columbus Heritage Coalition,

which includes 40 Italian-American groups. have said that it should be obvious to all people of goodwill, that the Italian-Americans have zero tolerance for this hate. Why does our Democratic candidate for mayor hate us and our heritage? What do you think about this Mamdani guy? I love him. Yeah. Yeah, he's great.

What do you love about him? Well, I think he isn't going to win. That's not the anti-Semitism. I like his platform of get rid of the scaffoldings. I'd say that. legalized prostitution. Did he say legalized prostitution? That would be a democratic social position.

And he's just like, everybody, I mostly I want him to win just because everybody who, there's people who really hate him that I just want them to like metaphorically suck a shotgun. And I think that's what him getting elected will be. Well, it's interesting, it's interesting to see, yeah, Jesus, Bill Ackman is the worst fucking guy on the planet. What a fucking talk sucker. Did you see how he did that big post about, like, Curtis Silva, he won't, or Swilva, whatever his name is. He won't step out because he's getting free money from the government.

Yeah. Good. What do you mean? Cock sucker, uh, making up a guy doing financial crimes just because he, he doesn't want to endorse him because he's a, well, whatever. I mean, fuck him. It would be great as man. Well, what doesn't, what's so weird about this is that it's, uh, Mamdani's the Democratic candidate. Cuomo ran against him.

and he lost the Democratic vote. Yeah, it's hilarious. And now they're going, hey, the Republican needs to drop out so two Democrats can go head to head again. And he might have done it. Like, anybody else might have actually done it, but not this guy because he's a fucking selfish boomer, which is awesome. What, Curtis Silwa? Yeah, he's awesome. Yeah.

I mean, you look at the stage and you go, man, if you ask me which of these three guys were from New York, I'd be like that fucking pig-headed, fucking white guy with the beret who's going, hey, you know what time I was in the saw and like 50 black guys tried to jump me and I said fuck you buddy and now I'm gonna be the facking mayor uh you I love that fucking guy I did turn Boston it's hard to it's hard to stay in the New York and Andy hot you know well he has a young wife blonde wife hotter than and the whole reason yeah 60 year old would be it's one of these situations where you go listen man you guys could have ran a young fucking uh you know what would you call it like a young Cuomo.

Yeah, you could have run a young, energetic guy. You could have run anybody. We got this rapist hanging out. Maybe we'll put him up there again. Everybody knows this rapist. This old chunk of rapy coal. We'll just throw them up there. That's what the kids like.

They like old rapy guys. And then it didn't work. And now you're going, well, what's the? Can we still run our rapy guy up there? It's like, well, yeah, but he's not going to win. And they're like, can we make the other guy drop out? So our rapy rock guy has a better. try? No. Yeah.

Oh, you got fucking Bill Ackman. Yeah. You fucked up. You should have picked a different guy. And Bill Ackman's going Oh, he's going to drop out for the good in New York City. It's like you ran the fucking stone-faced 80-year-old rapist or however the fuck old. He looks like the oldest man in the

fucking world at this point. You should have been worrying about the fucking Gaza at home, dude. You should have been worried about the Israel at home. You guys spent all this time worrying about the Israel 6,000 miles away. You forgot to protect the Israel home. And now you fucked up. Now it's

too late. We're not going to cover this one. We're not just going to drop out so you can have your little fucking guy running. Nope. You're going to have to sit in this one. You thought the front of the plane was all secure and one brown boy with a box cutter said I want to fly the plane

and now you're fucked. You forgot to check your shoes for shit when you walked out of the bathroom. Checked your shoes. And your shoes are covered in shit, dude. Fuck you. It's going to be pretty... It's going to be... I don't understand.

I mean, Trump's like pissed. Everybody's pissed. I'm like, how's this not going to be the most fun? You're going to watch a guy try to set up government-run, fucking grocery stores, and everything is going to be... Finally, somebody's going to have someone dumber than California running their cities. It's going to be... He's way fucking worse than Bass. Because he's a man.

He's just as dumb and racist, but it's a man doing it. So he's more effective. I mean, he's got... Look, building more housing. I'm like, all right, I'm there with you on that. No, you want more projects? That's what you think, New York students? We're already argued about this.

New projects. We need to put up some new projects, please. Everybody likes the projects. There's not enough government-run housing. The Fox. The Fox, the PJs was great. Yeah, the PJs. Moving on up.

Moving on up to a deluxe apartment. Anyway, guys, Columbus hate, as excited as I am to see Zohran sticking it to New York. You know what I found out? He is a Columbus hater. You know what I found out about Columbus? What'd you find out? So, all these. Indians, all these American Indians, you know,

they're all saying that like the... Thanks for the illustration. I'm just wanted you to know which one I'm not talking about... I'm talking about Indians... Not Indians driving a semi-truck. Not driving a semi-truck through three families on the freeway. Hey man, that guy was just, you know, they get that piece pipe going.

I mean, not the piece pipe. What do they got? They got the hook. they're just having a good time on the highway uh they got um jenkem the indians the indians have um the native americans they're saying that they're that they're first so the white people got to get away but then i looked up i did some like genealogy and like uh anthropology and found that actually the first people on this in this country were my ancestors not the not the plains indians like the dakotas and all these cock suckers they're always flipping off Mount Rushmore and shit.

So actually, I was the first one here. So they, all the Indians can go, oh, whoa, whoa, goodbye. See? I don't know. I don't know how it works. I do. The Olmec people were first. My Mexican ancestors were first.

Not. The old me. The giant stone head that makes me put a silver monkey together? Yes. Yes. From Legends of the Hidden Temple was first. I didn't know that. That's a real guy.

That was our guy. That's a real guy. He was first. They actually, that statue, they think it's a prop. They actually dug that up out of the planes of Texas. My dad has that a little bronze version of Olmec at home. Yeah. For real.

To give you wisdom about a trivial Atlas-related fact. I don't know what he does. But that's... Good old Olmec. But that's a history lesson. Maybe I could talk to Donculips about that. He'd probably have some perspective on Legends of the Hidden Town. Did they ever do a salute your show where it's...

Legends of the Hidden Temple crossover event? I think they came at different periods in Nickelodeon. I should have had them back, man. That would have been like... That would have been like real world meets road rules. You make a good point that there wasn't enough crossover with the game shows. There was never like

you can't do that on television. Double dare. I double dare you to do that on television. There probably was. You know, why? Because they had so many pedophiles running Nickelodeon they didn't want the kids misoginating and telling this their stories, you know? They don't want the kids

communicated. Who's the guy who hosted Doubled there? Mark Summers. Come on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I always thought it was funny that, uh... Don't fucking... Don't disrespect Mark Summers like that.

I'm not disrespecting him. I just forgot his fucking name. Very disrespectfully, though. You've got to, you know, I don't remember that name, could you please? Not, I don't remember that fucking guy's name. Very disrespectful. I liked his other show that he had.

I agree what the second show was. Another game show type thing. It sucked, though. It was stupid. They hyped it up a lot. Well, I don't think. It was better than Wienerville. Yeah.

Did you ever meet any kids who watched fucking Wienerville? And you're like, what's wrong with you? Get out of here. No, I didn't. There was some weird Nickelodeon shit that I never understood. A real Monsters, fucking hated it. Nightmare. What you talk about?

That show was great. A real Monsters? This show suck. Nobody remembers. Nobody gives a shit about A Real Monsters. Monsters. Fucking Ickis. That was them riding high on the success of Rugrats, and they're like, oh, we made a show

about fucking babies. Let's make a show about shitty fucking monsters that aren't scary or interesting. Oh, cool. Yeah, he would get scary, though. Every once in a while, he would get scary if he needed to. He had it in him. The red one? Yeah.

Ickis. Yeah, Ickis. And then Monsters Inc. comes along and shows, oh, there was a formula here. You just dropped the ball considerably. You could have been. It's a sitcom, though. they can't turn monsters incorporated into his sitcom. It's only a movie.

All Real Monsters is trash. Rugrats was trash. I kind of liked Doug, though, so I know I have bad taste. Yeah, Doug was for kind of babies. Lonely boys. No, it was a baby show.

It was an adult show. He had adult relationships. It was basically Cayenne. No, no, no. He was trying to fuck Patty mayonnaise every episode. His black friend kept coming over and honking. He's like, dude, can you stop honking, I'm trying to take my girl to the fucking the honker burger. Yeah, for baby stuff. It was baby stuff.

That's why I was on earlier. Baby stuff. It was not baby. It was a fucking Cayu prequel. It was not a Cayu prequel, okay? Kiyu's a whole different thing. It's the same fucking guy. Cayew.

Is your kid watching Cayu? They don't have Kyu anymore. It's gone. It's gone, really? Why? Yeah, well, they just, uh, they got done making Cayu. And there's actually, I was looking up, well, because I was looking it up and they're like, a lot of like, uh, these like parental advocacy groups are like,

Kaiu just teaches bad lessons to kids. It's like what? Cayu just cries and whines and acts like a dick. Teaches kids to watch the TV. It's a really bad lesson. We shouldn't be teaching kids this lesson. I agree. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, I just, uh, apparently parents hate Kai Yu. I don't know. I've never watched Kai Yu for more than two seconds. No, we only watch crypto charts. We only watch a deck screener. That's it. How's that going?

We watch Martin Screlli's. We watch Martin Screlly's casts. Watch Melton Screlly a shorting beyond meat? I watch Martin Screlly all day. Yeah. He's a good guy. All right, I'm the winner. Yeah.

Wait a minute. That's the end of the segment. Oh. You got to watch that one money guy who just tells everybody to find you. I won it. Biggest problem dot show If you've seen it and you mean it Then you know you know the guy they do the means of

Fat and Furious Yeah, yeah yeah Vote Vat Ramsey, Dave Ramsey Furious Vote Vote vote vote Vote

Vote It's got a soothing way of talking about how you're financially fucked We're just like All right Well we're going to sell that car There you go We're going to get you a beater

You always got to sell the car You always got to sell the car You got too much car Yeah, what's the deal with that? I think they believe we still live in a society where you can buy a beat. Well, yeah, you want to get all your debt off. If you got any debt that you're paying every month, it is just better to buy a chief car.

Yeah, you got to get off the debt. Yeah. You got to get off the debt. Okay. All right. Here's my problem, Dick. What do I got here? I got a bunch of cables.

I got a bunch of trash. Why? Because I finally upgraded my Spectrum modem. They kept saying they were going to send me the equipment, and they kept not sending me the equipment. So I had to get on the phone and actually talk to a person and go, hey, cock suckers, just mail me a new fucking modem. And the lady goes, okay, we're going to bail you a bottle, a new router. You got to return the old one, even though we're just going to throw it in the trash and let a little brown kid pick through it for the fucking silicon. And then she goes, hits me with this, where she goes, I noticed you're paying $110.

for less internet and I went yeah and she goes would you like to pay $100 for more internet and I went well obviously she's like okay

so I've upgraded you to that and I'm like where the fuck did this come from well this was just sitting there you just in your system you can just click a button charge me less money and give me more

service and at no point did you think, hey, we should, maybe we let him know. Maybe we sent him a message or an email. He's been a loyal customer this whole time. No, you've got to finally wait for me to call in dissatisfied and then go, hey, how about we got this thing? Yeah. I'm calling it getting a discount, discount in quotation marks.

That's a straight up discount. That they should have gave me years ago. It's probably been there for like three years. Can't you a break. Nobody tells me that the rates fucking change and now somebody's asking

is $100 to interrupt reprise. I asked a million times and said it's not one of these things you're going to change the fucking question. Probably is.

It's probably some kind of scam. See, now I'm worried. Now I'm worried that it is. I'm worried. She said, no, no, no. It's just $100. That's all it is.

She doesn't know. It's probably a fucking scam. They told last time I changed phone plans. They told me to wait until the last minute because when I start paying the new rate,

I don't want to double pay. And I said, There's no way that that's the policy, that you guys don't pro-rate the month and give me a refund for the last charge and then charge the new one. And he goes, it do be like that. And I said, there's no, there's no fucking way. So I called, they don't know what they're, they're fucking, she's fucking you. She doesn't know. So now I'm sitting here and I'm going, well, now I got to fucking call everybody.

Now I got to call my fucking car insurance. Now I got to call my health insurance. Yeah, they'll do it. You got to get in your odometer. I know. So I got a call all these fucking places to find out if there's secret little can't there just be like a list of like here's what it costs if it changes we'll put you on the new plan.

Why is everybody paying a different fucking amount depending on what month they signed up in what fucking Zodiac code? They just figure out the price of the fucking thing and charge the price. When I go to McDonald's they don't take a fucking blood scan and determine the price of the cheeseburger based on how the guy... What are you going to go back if something goes on sale at McDonald's?

You're like, can I get five... Can I get 50 cents back for those McNuggets that I got yesterday? No, but if it's on sale, it should be on sale for everybody. It should be on sale all the time. Why do I got to stumble across little fucking secret bargains? Yeah. And I ain't got time for this. Now I've got a call.

I think you have time to make five or six calls. Okay. Okay. Okay. Look. and then I'm looking online you ever see this thing online where they're like you've got to change your car insurer every fucking three years or something because you'll always

get this new they said you'll always get like this new introductory rate and they just ride that out for a couple years and they switch back to the other one and that's how you keep your car insurance yeah and I'm like what the fuck can't you guys just run a company why does everything have to be like why is all of

the world built on having to figure out the best possible scam at any point in time can we just figure out what shit costs and that's it. No, because there's guys like you that are taking advantage. I know. We're turning, well, dude, all right, so did you see that viral post? Because you're sitting in

the parking lot going on fake AI adventures to get like $3 off your McNugget bag. I don't want to do that either. I don't want to have to do that. You don't know the burger for half fucking price. Okay? I was reading this viral post. I wish you had saved it talking about how India is such a low trust

country because in India, like if you ripped a guy off, it would never be, it would never be somebody goes, oh, that's bad, you shouldn't have done that. It's like everybody would congratulate you on how clever you are for like stealing and lying and getting the best. Like they're talking about contractors in India. There you go, you can never just give them a straight price because if you don't give them some sort of discount at some port along the line, they will freak out and start screaming. So you always have to quote to Indian guys like 25% more to charge. So later they go, Okay, now you make me a price. And you go, yeah, yeah, now I make you progress. Yeah, make a good price. Yeah. That's fucking terrible.

What is that? Your new router sucks. It's like robotic and stuff. Your new router didn't fucking work. What are you talking about? It's got more, I got more bits now. It fucking sucks. It's like, sounds like a robot.

You look even worse than normal. I think I look exactly the same. You got to go lower res, man. Maybe I should. Here, I'll bump the res down. Looks like shit. I don't know. Look.

Is it actually roboting right now? Why do you think I'm always lying about this shit? I don't do that. I don't make up audio, video problems for fun. Because I don't see it. Because I see it's looking normal on my side. It's not leaving your house, dickhead. It's traveling across the whole world to get to me.

Okay, but is the audio fine or the video called me? My audio's robotie too. It's fucked also. Well, it might be because I just set it up. Oh, you gotta break it in? like a pair of jeans? Yeah, you're going to break in. You got a running good.

Whatever. Because you couldn't wait for the people to come, set it up for you? So you did it yourself and you messed up. I set it up. I set it up. I didn't mess it up. It's perfectly fine. It doesn't work.

Okay, it's probably just had a temporary spike. Okay, and it's probably coming right back. Temporary spike. Temporary spike. Temporary. Isn't there like a thing I can get to monitor it? Yeah, it's, whatever. internet rock you put it on their router and it will soak it will ground it

will ground the bad charges i got to get the internet rock and put it on top of it yeah anyway uh what was i talking about i was talking about how we live in a low trust society where we constantly have to scam to get ahead everybody's got to run a little game you got to look for all these little discounts and that's why india is the way it is everyone's just scamming all the time and like worried about like fake scams like pretending to scam each other living living in india when you just go out on the street and you're like everything everything here is designed to trick me somehow yeah i kind of want to visit india and see how shitty it is who really that'd be a good should i do an idiot abroad series like uh i remember carl pilkington

used to do that just go to all these countries and be a moron no you should get a green screen and pretend that you're in them. Just like put India stuff behind you. I want to join a call center. You know what I really need to do? Have I told you I've gotten some of these call center guys? I've gotten into discussions with them. Okay.

If you've got a call from these call center guys, very occasionally you can go, man, what are you doing? I'm like, you're better than this. And they'll go, yeah, I know. I just, this is the job I got. And I'm like, well, come on, man. Like, you got skills. and you can get into like a five, ten minute conversation of me like hyping these guys up

and I wish I had them recorded where I'm like listen man you're better than this fucking call center scam shit so there are I think good guys out there who want to escape from the system they want to escape from the low trust society I've talked to them doing bad things and because of circumstance doesn't make you a good guy

makes you a bad guy yeah I guess you did all that stuff and you didn't even record it You're in India. Yeah. Well, I should have recorded it. Yeah, I did get, I got into a 10-minute, like a 15-minute thing with a guy, and he's like, well, I studied, like, web design or whatever.

All right, dude, we got to get you on Fiverr. No, stay off of fiber. Stay the fuck away from any of those sites. I gave him my email address, and he didn't email me. I was like, oh, you're going to follow up with me. We're going to figure this out. There's my password, too, so you can make sure that the email gets there. Yeah, yeah.

It is fun to talk to the Scarlet Center. All right. Anyway, getting a discount, it's like they want you to be happy. You must be in hog heaven then because there's spam calls all day now. Yeah, I know. Again, I range between either trying to get into a real conversation with these guys or just leading them down a path of like, so you were in a car accident last year. I go, oh, yeah, big bad car accident.

And they're like, oh, how did that go? And I go, I was driving real fast on the highway. And I flew out the windshield and my cock landed in your mom's ass. and they go, you'll fuck you, oh, fuck you, you motherfucker! Come on, you can't tease that

and then not have a recording of that. I probably do have a recording of that one. The problem is the guys that hang up immediately, but sometimes you got to fuck you,

your mother, and you'll fucking do it. I'll record more of it. Be that guy. Post those videos. Yeah, well, that's right. I think at one point I was asking if anybody has good software

to record your phone calls because I do just, if I'm bored, I just answer all the scam calls, and I know what to say to get through to the actual person where they're just like, do you have Medicare part A and B? And I'm like, yeah, yeah.

And they're like, okay, so are you worried about end of life? And I'm like, yeah, yeah, I am worried about end of life. I had a question. I've been, I wanted to get a coffin that's like two people wide so I can be fucking your mother in the afterlife. They go, you don't fuck my mother in the coffin,

you don't put her. And I'm like, she's going in the coffin with me, Pagit. Oh, wow. I have fun with that. But no recording. I have a recording somewhere I've got to find it Okay I've posted a couple of them

Alright I did that with my car insurance I called them and saw if I could get a deal Because like I haven't driven my car In three months and she goes Yeah just send me your odometer Okay how about Would you like to pay 30 bucks less

I was like yeah She goes okay well I'm gonna call you back to confirm it Can you just like Can you just do it? Can you just get home and give me your other odometer I'm like, no, can you just do it? Like, can you just say, if we get disconnected, can you say that you're going to do it anyway? Like, why do you need me?

Why do you need me for the rest of this? Please just do it. Like, well, let me read you all the options that we're doing. All right. Well, because they want to get you like, they want to upsell you all this shit. The worst is the ones that, you know. They weren't. I'm already paying for it.

Well, do you also get other insurance through that insurer? I got everything insured through that. them. Yeah. These guys, man. They'll get me on the phone. Yeah. I always get in the conversation. I come away and they're like, all right, your boat insurance is set up. And I'm like, all right, thank God. Then I got the phone and I go, ah, fuck. I don't even have a fucking boat. So it never works out for me. You should get a boat. My dad had a boat. And what I learned about owning a boat is that it's not worth owning a boat. Okay, biggest problem in boats is the next bonus. Why, did your dad have a boat? Did your dad have a boat?

No, but I fucking love boats, so... What do you mean you love boats? What does that mean? What's not to love? You're like totally untouchable. You can do whatever you want on the boat. First of all, you can't do whatever you want, especially even in fucking New England where they come and they look at the boat to make sure you're not dragging invasive

species into the water. So some fucking asshole goes around the boat and he goes, that weed right there. You can't go in the water with that weed on that boat there. Dragging weeds in the water is the last thing that I'm going to doing on a boat. Don't worry. I got, I'll take care of the weeds. I mean, everything. We'd get on the boat. It was always tubing. You'd throw a tube out of the bag. Oh, yeah.

And you'd hold out of the tube and then you go, that's fun for about 10 minutes, I guess. A tubing? Yeah. No, it's fun all day. I would like, you know what I would like? I would like jet skiing. I wish I had a jet ski. Okay, you could do jet skis. That I could see having a good time with, yeah. Why don't you buy a jet ski? There's lakes, there's lakes around here in L.A. I was thinking about getting an e-bike. An e-back's not a jet ski? No, but it looks fun. They look, because they look fun.

The problem I found out with the e-bikes is you're really not supposed to pedal them. And I was like, oh, well, that's not. I want one you can, like, actually pedal when you want to. Well, that's what I was thinking. I'm like, I wanted to buy. I was going to get a bike. I want to ease into bike riding. So I'm going to use it as a motorcycle, but then for the last 10 minutes.

No, I don't need to ease into it. I love biking. I used to bike all the fucking time. I don't even ease into it. When? When the one had a big wheel and they had a small wheel on the end? I used to bike to work back in Boston. Every day I'd bike through the park. It was beautiful.

To the bullshit factory? Yeah, all the way to the bullshit factory. I had a beautiful bike ride. That's probably the most idealic... What are you going to fucking bike? It's a great place to bike in L.A. Not in the middle of L.A., but out in the outskirts like you. I might get a bike, but I was saying I want to get like a nice bike.

And then I was like, it would be nice if at the end of the day, if you're, dog shit tired, and you're like, well, I don't really want a bike anymore. I'll just fucking use the e-bike part. What do you mean at the end of the day? What end of the day? Because I would like to just bike in one direction and just go forever, but then you've got

to do the return trip. It would be nice if the return trip was motorized and then I can just fucking relax. Well, why don't you drive out to where you want a bike and then bike home? There are my cars out there. What are you talking about? Then my car stuck out there. You can bike out to where your car is and drive it home.

Then you only go one way. That's retarded. I wanted to see if there was an e-bike that you can both effectively pedal and it also has the e-bike functionality. So you'd ride it. It seems like all of them. You'd ride a scooter all the way home. A joke. Yeah, you ride a scooter home.

What's wrong with that? I don't know. You don't want to bike anymore. So stop halfway and turn around. because then I don't get to go as far as I wanted to go I guess can you take like an Uber or get someone to drive

you home? Are you going to tell an Uber guy? Can I throw my bike in the back of your fucking Toyota Siesta? And you're all sweaty? Yeah. I don't want a fat guy in his boat. Oh, thanks dude.

Thanks dude. Let me just throw this. First day on the bike, huh? Driven over fucking homeless guy's shit and hypodermic needles all day. Let me just throw that in your truck. The reason that you don't have a bike and that you haven't been biking

are totally retarded that you want to go only one way so that you need an electricity bicycle to go home. It's not that I need an electricity bicycle, but I was thinking if I'm going to get a bike anyway, it would be

cool to get a cool e-bike. So I'm trying to see one if there's one that has dual function where the pedals aren't just like a joke. Yeah, but the pedals are like, all the reviews I read is they're like, you don't really want to pedal this thing. It's uncomfortable. Why don't you get like an e-bike conversion for a good bike

I don't know if that's a thing if it is I'll find out sure what if there's like a resident evil bicycle that you could get well then I'm sold then I'm excited okay that's what I want is that your problem

if anybody knows a good e-bike let me know with pedals with good pedals with good pedals I would get the It's just so ridiculous. I can just get a regular bike, I guess. I don't know.

Here's my problem. Let me let me show it. Here it is. Vito, look at this guy. I love this guy. You see him? So fucking much. I was in the doctor's office

singing that song. I've been singing that song for a full day, dude. Bro. Emily uses. The lovely Emily Usis has created perhaps the best, the best show, the best meme, the best cultural phenomenon this year, maybe of our hot young lives, the Will Stancel show. I'm obsessed with the Will Stancel show on like, the guy who made the song followed me on Twitter and I'm like really trying to stop myself from reaching out to him being like, how do I get involved in this? Yeah. How do I become a part of this world?

It's Jamal, and he's saying it do be like that, Mr. Stancel. Now, who is Mr. Stancel, Dick? I didn't know who this guy was before the... I had heard the news story. Well, you heard the news story about he was the first one to be raped by AI. He was raped by Grock. Yeah. That week that Grock had all the safeguards taken off of it.

And it started saying weird sex stuff to him? It was saying, talking like normal stuff. Grock was saying that it was going to break into Will Stancel's house and rape him. Yeah, and it wouldn't get off of it. He wouldn't, Grock wouldn't stop talking about it. No matter what, he's like, Grock, please don't rape me. Yeah. And, uh, but I guess he's like, uh, is he like an urban housing guy who argues on Twitter at the time?

He's a, he's a weird, um, kind of lollipop-headed fuck who, he looks like Michael Sarah's been like stretched out. I don't know. He looks like Michael Sarah's older brother. He has a degree in black people, like some sort of like a masters or a massas, I think he calls it. He has a masses degree in black people and he's a lawyer for black people housing. He says here he's running for the house in Minnesota to revitalize Minneapolis to again try and get, he's one of these liberal, well, he's a liberal guy who, you know, goes, hey, I got to protect all the different colors of people and all the different race as long as they're black. Oh, that's part of it. Every color of being black. But I didn't, I looked, you know, since the

show, I was like, wow, what an entertaining show. I'm going to go see what this character, Will Stancel, is all about. And that's my problem is Will Stancel, because he is a, he's a total psycho. He's like he doesn't think the show is funny. He's Well, I can understand why he doesn't like it. Let me find some of his

For those of you who are very confused. What happened is, Will Stancel is a Twitter personality. He has 100,000 followers. He's very liberal. And someone took the time using Grock to make an entire animated episode. Emily Uses. Emily Uses. Yes. Of something called the Will Stancel show.

Yeah. Which is disturbingly well done. It's great. On a level of your like, holy fucking shit, this is an actual animated program, just lampooning one idiot on Twitter and his love of black people. And that's why, again, the meme is, it do be like that, Mr. Stansel. Do be like that, Mr. Stansel. My wife's fucking texted me that today.

Do be like that. He has a token black friend who perfectly represents what Will Stancel thinks of black people. And he's just seething. He's seething about neo-Nazis on Twitter. And I said, there's no way. That's funny. What a funny hyperbole of a... What a funny hyperbole of this character

of this guy in this character. But he's really like that. His response to the show was, here I'll read it. The prominent neo-Nazi who's the prominent neo-Nazi who's sexually obsessed with me like already totally insane. This is about a young woman that he's talking about. Has created a cartoon miniseries about me

and now the entire worldwide neo-Nazi movement and seemingly the whole of Twitter is obsessed with tweeting the catchphrase at me so much it Google Auto completes. The neo-Nazis stuff. Every tweet of mine instantly garners hundreds or even thousands of replies

with his catchphrase. Again, this woman is an explicit white supremacist who believes Jews and black people should be exterminated. This is who runs Twitter now with Elon Musk's express approval. Twitter is destroying America full stop. It's turning our entire society into 4chan and our elites are not only unable to break their addiction to the side.

I don't have the rest of it. But it's like, it's insane. It do be like that, Mr. Stample. It do be like that. Yeah, this guy's entire brand overnight has turned into, this is like, I'm, I got to say, when they write the history of AI, like this needs to be in the textbook. Yeah, yeah. It's the moment that we discovered you can just take a guy and now using AI you can make an entire cartoon about him and his liberal

fucking precious philosophy and his love of black people and you can do it in like a week maybe and it will become an internet sensation. Did you listen to the song, Dick? Yeah, I heard the song. The song is

an actual incredible fucking rap song that I have had stuck in my head for a full day. Everything about this It's fucking mind-blowing. Everything about this show is incredible. Except for Will Stantle, who's like a demented freak. And it took, it took like, he's so fucked up and insane that he made, like, he saved AI.

Like, this guy is so freakish and violent and insane online that, like, he makes these AI bastardizations of him seem. normal. Do you know what I mean? He's a cartoon character that's been brought to life as a better cartoon character that he hates. That he fucking hates. That's the best part. And he thinks it's the Nazis are winning because they made the funniest cartoon. And we are. Here's one of the things he says. I mean, this is just yesterday. He's so crazy. I barely post here. But there are millions of people on this site. It's a menace to the whole of American side. He posts a thousand times a day.

At some point, you need to burn down the Nazi bar and shoot the Nazis. What is he talking about? Twitter? He needs to burn it down and shoot us? He's got to burn it down. He's got to stop all the bad guys. He's such, well, I'm saying, he's such a

great character that like I want this show. When I first saw the show, I thought it was like a real show. I was like, oh, this is a funny character that they've invented. And then I found out it's just like an elaborate Twitter shitpost that is fucking mind-blowing. I was going to say, I think you should play the rap song.

I think it's just so fucking good. Which one? I don't have to search for. Just search for Will Stancel song. Or go to my Twitter, which you have blocked. But you can still find it. Yeah, this guy. All right.

Yes. Have you heard this? Yeah, I've heard this. The Wigger Will, yeah, and Jamal. Dude, this has been stuck in my head a whole fucking day. Fighting fascist from my laptop in the candle. He on line beefing while I'm chilling on a stoop. Whole world while and we just viving with the truth.

Yeah, yeah. I woke up scrolling X.com. Nazis posting memes. I drop napalm. Report, report, report, that's right. Suspension hit now I sleep tight. Photoshop me with Hitler real cute, but I re-show fascist in a three-piece suit.

I fight the fight from my down. condo with Jamal on my side yelling let's go chill mr. Stancel touch grass sometimes you stressed out post and I'm fine online you do the tweet wars I keep the peace got that mid-city flavor talk is cheap you love black people yeah I heard the speech but last week you caught a cops at the beach still I got your back you my weird little bro just stop trying to freestyle at the protest show yeah yeah you do be like yeah you do be like Mr. Stansom. Saving Twitter from the Nazi scandal.

We in the streets in the subredited trenches. Keyboard soldiers on woke adventures. This is fucking incredible. Save Twitter from the Nazi Scand. We in the streets and the subredited trenches. We got a black studies degree. I'm certified. When oppression shows up, I get verified.

I give out housing vouchers like confetti. Revolution powered by espresso and spaghetti. Spaghetti. They call me Wigger Will when I hit the block, where my cargo shorts and progressive talk. Don't need a cape. I got policy papers dropping 10 point plans on fascist haters. Look, Will you mean well, but you extra bro. Trying to say the hood and your target clothes. You're a hero online, but in person please, I don't spill kombucha on your black studies tea. Still, I respect it. You fight with heart, even if your tweets sound like modern art. Just remember, dog, when the timeline You ain't got to save us just log out and grin

Like it do be like that Saddh We in the streets in the suburbid trenches Keep our soldiers on woke adventures And do be like that, Mr. Stanssel Save and Twitter from the Nazi scandal We're in the streets in the subredet trenches Keep us on woke adventure

I know Mr. Stancel We are trying to say the world One post at a time. He's saving Twitter. The show humanizes him in a way that makes him like... It makes me love him. I want a million episodes of this show. Yeah, but the real guy is a real psycho piece of shit

and everybody like him. And by that I mean the spectrum of liberals that exist from him to like Bill Ackman and the normal ones are really bad people. and it's really the show is great and it's so funny but it does humanize him in a way that makes him goofy and cartoonish when he's really a fucking psycho um he's a big problem but the show is fucking great it's an incredible premise for a show i i feel like uh it's got legs uh-huh it's just a guy who wants to save all the black people and his black friend jemal going you don't got to save us all mr stansell but it do be like that it's you be like that Do be like that. But it's also about fucking with him.

It's also about, the show is also about that, messing up his brain to take away his identity and make it ours. Well, if I woke up and there was an animated series, it was just me with like music and fucking characters, I'd lose my mind. You'd have a meltdown. Yeah. Because you've lost, you've lost control of yourself.

Right, right. You're no longer. Yeah. Will Stansell is no longer Will Stansell is. Now, there's two Will Stancel. Yeah, you are Will Stancel. You're the reflection now. It's great.

Wonderful. Well, I've always thought that this era we're entering. Huh. What era are we in, Vito? We're entering the era of, you can just take stuff. Yeah. And you can just, I never understood why more groups don't just, like, I always thought for the proud boys. Remember them when they, everybody was mad at the, what were they wearing?

Those fucking, like, yellow lapel fucking, fucking. I don't know. shirts the proud boys used to always wear they wear a specific type of shirt and I was like why don't you guys just wear Mickey Mouse ears all the time like that would be the funniest fucking thing because now Disney has to go

well fuck now when we sell Mickey Mouse ears it's tied to the fucking proud boys like you can just fuck with these licensed things in these existing paradigms and uh turn them into well it's like when Anonymous did the guy Fox mask you're like well the guy Fox mask is cute but you should have done like I don't know

like the Pepsi logo and then fucked up Pepsi because I would have pissed a lot of people off more people need to be fucking with shit is what I'm saying Right, okay There's a lot of opportunities Yeah

Like Well I can't think of one Well like certain brands get connotations And then the brand has to always apologize I remember when the proud boys just had Tiki torches And the guys who had Tiki Torches Had to apologize for selling Tiki Torches

Who had Tiki Torches? At the fucking Charlottesville They remember they're walking there. No, who apologized for having teaky torches? The teaky torch making guys. They said, we're sorry for making Nazi torches. We'll make them less Nazi-friendly in the future. But I'm sure it happened.

They had to make a bunch of, they had to make a bunch of teaky torches with, like, Jewish stars all over them to make everybody happy again. And they painted them the Israel colors. I don't know if that happened. Yeah, they painted them all. I asked, I asked Grock why Will Stancel is so bad, too. It gave me a list of reasons. repetitive and annoying posting style arrogance and self-importance it was very thorough aggressive rhetoric and calls for rage perceived hypocrisy and privilege cultural punching bag

he wants to go to the nazi bar and alienating both sides yeah there you go is there a nazi bar somewhere in america is there like one nazi bar yeah yeah sure where what's it called oh i don't know there's got to be schwartz cowfremens it's like a secret non It's probably like Iron Eagle or something like that. There's got to be a neo-Nazis. There are neo-Nazis. Yeah, but I'm saying, like, all these guys are always fantasizing. I mean, neo-Nazis don't think Jews are funny, though.

Yeah. It's a big difference. Making clever little goofs. They're not making jokes about, you know. Yeah. I'm just saying all these guys seem to think there's like some fucking, some family restaurant out there, like, swatts to commence. and you go in and everybody's goose stepping around serving chicken fingers.

And you're like, that doesn't exist. There's no place like that for you to go to and start fighting guys. I know you want there to be. I think he probably, I think Will Stantle probably sees the normalization of bigotry through humor as a big threat towards the Marxist progressive hell that he's been trying to build his whole life. And it is. And he's right about that, but he doesn't know how to express himself because he's also. a retard. So that's what's funny about it to me

is that he's right, but he's just saying it in such a preposterous and silly way that people can't, like, people don't listen to him because he's so bad at expressing himself. I really, the worst part about being left-leaning is trying to convince other people on the left where you're like, hey, you guys got

to let people make jokes, and you should also be making jokes. And they're like, we can't joke about that. That's the most serious thing in the world. I'm like, well, that's why you're going to lose every single one of these debates or policy positions or whatever is that you have no sense of humor about any of it and you look like morons. Thank God that you guys have Seth Dillon trying to make nothing funny on our side. Yeah. Well, you got that. Yeah.

All right. Will Stancel. I've learned more about him this week. The last two days than I ever thought I would. What an interesting character. I didn't even know he exists. I can't wait to see more from them. I hope we get many more episodes and songs and lawsuits and whatever else is going to happen.

This is interesting times. All right, Dick, you're ready for my problem? Yeah, yeah. Here's my problem is so I get invited out to go to a nice restaurant. I'm like, all right, cool, I meet up, and it's two of my buddies. And one of them is, well, they're both drunk. cool i shouldn't say two of my buddies my buddy and his buddy okay and my buddy is drunk and his buddy is way drunker we're in a kind of nice like steakhouse you know that's what's for that's

what they're for yeah sure you should be a little bit drunk what wasted and it would be fucking wasted at a steakhouse they'll well one of them was they were both pretty drunk one was definitely wasted and uh they had come from uh the no kings protest oh and i guess i guess the one guy was a really passionate about it is the steakhouse a gay bar the name of a gay bar no it was an actual steakhouse it was downtown it was a downtown uh i forget what the steakhouse downtown is it's a gay so we're sitting in our it was not a gay bar why would be a gay bar because they got they were doing a protest the no king's protest i assume they were no the no the no King's protest was downtown and they left

the protest to go to the steak okay yeah to go to a gay bar we all went to a gay bar that served steak okay so we're sitting in the gay bar yeah we're getting a bunch of weeners and this guy's just he's very drunk and he's just going

oh man just like anybody who supports Israel is like a fucking fascist man and it's not like the biggest restaurant and he's really loud and everybody's kind of looking around And he's just going, I just think anybody who supports Israel should suck my fucking dick. And I just, I just fucking hate Israel so much. And they should just suck my fucking dick, man.

I'm like, all right, that's fine. Hey, what do you want to order? He's like, yeah, just get me whatever. I just think anybody who supports Israel should suck my fucking dick. And people are just looking at us. And I'm just like, oh, God, I'm babysitting a drunk. And that's my problem is babysitting. sitting a drunk is you got somebody there who's drunk out of their mind you got another guy

who's not as drunk but is not helping because every time I get Palestine guy talking about anything else like are you watching good movies lately he goes uh oh you know I just went I just saw a Tron or whatever and then uh my other my drunk buddy goes oh you know uh Jared Letto's from uh from Israel he's like he's like yeah he's Israeli a big supporter of Israel he's like, everybody who supports Israel should suck my fucking dick, should suck my fucking dick from the back. And all these fucking tables are looking over at us. And I'm hitting my buddy and go, will you stop telling him everybody supports fucking Israel? He's in a loop.

Are you retarded? The fucking drunk loop is the fucking worst, man. It goes on forever. It never ends. I pray to God that one day I will get to murder a drunk telling the same story twice. like telling the story and then yeah so anyway and there I was and I'm just like man my kids in college I have terminal cancer I'm gonna kill you dude I'm just gonna fucking for like this will be the best feeling in my fucking I'm gonna come so hard

I'm gonna die yeah if I get to kill a drunk telling the same story twice I don't I don't know you get the out of the loop I fucking hate it nothing will knock them out of way, all they can say, and he keeps saying it louder and louder, I'm like, dude, everybody in the restaurant knows that if you support Israel, we should suck your dick. We've all gotten that. He goes, I just think anybody supports Israel should. I'm like, oh, my God. And I can't finally, like, other tables are going, hey man, can you shut the fuck up? And he's like, do you love Israel? Do you want to suck my dick? And I'm like, he doesn't want to suck. When nobody's sucking anybody's dick, I'm just like, let's just focus. We're getting some

states. You know what? I love Israel now, actually. I fucking love them. Let's take this outside. Let's take this outside and someone's going to get their ass kicked. How about that? Then of course the thing shows up. He throws up all over the plate. So I'm like, well, this is the fun night. We're having a great night. And then he leaves

and my buddy goes, so you're like, we're going to like split the cost because he's gone. I'm like, he's your buddy. No, I'm not paying for his fucking steak. He's your responsibility. I don't even know that fucking guy. Wait, he left and you had to pay for his food?

he came and then he came back later but like it was this thing where my buddy's like I don't know why I got to pay for him like we were both here with him I'm like dude I don't know who that fucking guy is you invited me here to the fucking restaurant you got to put that guy on blasts let him get away with that he didn't he didn't make me pay for the steak but so he entertained the idea it's just as bad well my thing to him was he's like can you believe that guy's looping about Israel and like every time I get him to stop talking about Israel You bring it back up again.

Hey, my girlfriend fucking loves Israel. And you get him going again. And he's like, I don't think that's my fault. And I'm like, it's clearly your fault. Just stop talking about fucking Israel. You're driving everybody in the restaurant nuts. We got to make a pact to just leave these guys when they're doing this. Because we tolerate them.

I mean, I ordered a shit that we ordered a shit down of food. What am I going to do? Just leave some money on the table. No, just leave. No, just leave. Say, I'm having a heart attack. I have to go. I could probably get away with that

Yeah Anyway I didn't get to enjoy We're in a fancy steakhouse There's been a shit ton of money And the whole time I got to eat two bites of steak Before the other guy threw up all over his steak And I went and I just put mine in a fucking bag

He threw up on his steak He threw up all over his plate He went to the bathroom They came out of the bathroom And he said anybody who supports Israel Needs to suck And I'm like shoot You couldn't you vomit up some of the alcohol

And she got the fucking Israel poison Out of your fucking He really wanted to You took his home after he threw up on the table? He didn't throw up on mine. He threw up on his plate. I had already moved to a different table at that point. So he was over at his own

table just like. You have your own table at a steakhouse? What are you guys doing? I moved after he wouldn't shut the fuck up. I moved one table over where I'm like, let's just leave him alone. It's downtown. I'll look up the name of it. You don't remember?

Downtown steakhouse. No, it was all right. It wasn't the best. Well, it's not Fleming's. Well, no, it's not Flemmings Not Fleming's I don't fucking remember You don't remember? You don't remember? Yeah, no, I mean I could look up

My buddy sent me the name, let me take a look Yeah, look up the name Dick, you're just there and you're stuck with this drunk and for some reason everybody's looking at you like you're responsible Because I guess I was responsible They got drunk before I showed up You owe it to them to do something

You owe it to them to start make a big scene and smash a hand down is the name of the Steakhouse. You did this at Taylor's? I didn't do what he fucking did. He threw up on the table at fucking Taylors. He did. He threw up on the table at Taylor.

Voted best steakhouse in L.A. Yeah, it's great. Yeah, I know. I was looking forward to enjoying it. Instead, I had to hear a hundred times about how anybody is really expensive. It was pretty expensive. I spent a lot of money at Taylor Steakhouse.

Yeah, your friend who tried to, you know, Get me to pay for the other guy's fucking steak. Yeah. What a fucker. I was like, that's not happening. Wow. Oh, man, it was a complete fucking disaster. Real friend of Israel.

Yeah, well, so I guess don't, man, he really, the worst part was I was able to get him off talking about Israel. I'm like, yeah, you like any TV shows? Yeah. And then my buddy would be like, you know who makes all those TV shows of the Israelis? He's like, oh, blah, blah, it was the worst. worst And then we get out of the restaurant

And my buddy goes So can you hey can you give me a ride home to West Hollywood I'm like no Take a fucking over No I'm leaving So I had a nightmare of a I had a nightmare of a birthday dinner

Let's put it that one Oh that was your birthday That's cool Well that's that was the funniest thing Was when the guy goes I was going to buy you a birthday steak But since he left early I got to cover him

And I'm like oh okay So that's your birthday steak? My birthday steak is his steak? My birthday's steak is his steak. And I go, yeah, that makes sense. That may that's, that's, that's, that's, that man. These protesters, these nose kings guys are no good. They're bad people.

Well, I'm trying to screw you over with stakes. They're fucking cursing and being anti-Semitic. And Taylor's ruining everyone's night. These are real bad guys. We do, we should have a king. I wish I had known there was going to be a no king's protest because Hassan was there. I could have wore the dog costume. Yeah.

Yeah. Next time there's a big L.A. protest. You guys, you got to tell me, because I'll go get the dog costume. I'll find Hassan. And I will be violently electro-shocked behind him. It'll be a good bit. Babysitting a drunk dick. It's not the first time I've had to do it. Everyone's had to do it. And it might just be the drunk loop. You know what? It's also just the drunk looping, man. I remember having a roommate who used to drink all the fucking time. And it's just like, same fucking thing every 10 minutes would be like. Hoping is just insane. I don't know. I don't know what happens. I've gotten drunk and I don't think I've gotten in a loop like that. I hope not.

I'm sure I did. I hope I did at one point and then stopped. Because at some point you got to tell yourself like this is just this is no way. Stop telling this same story. Yeah. You can't just loop. You got to just be quiet. That's why it's great when people mix Coke with their.

alcohol because it makes them like it's not like the movies you know sometimes it makes them like extremely quiet and like introverted and terrified kind of to say anything that's perfect there should be a rule at a party where the guy loops three times

you go you gotta leave he's dead you're dead put him in his car duct tape his hands to the steering wheel put a brick on the gas and send him off send him down the freeway with all the Indian semi-driver I think I experienced some looping at your wedding

but not as bad as this I wasn't the one looping others were I've been experiencing some looping every day since my wedding same fucking day well alright that was my drunk my drunk babysitting adventure it really was two children one being a complete brat and his shitty fucking brother going

hey I don't have to fucking make him go crazy watch me do this you can just stop poking your brother Stop poke your brother with this Israel shit Shut your fucking mouth My friend My friend's got a Jewish girlfriend He goes the only reason you love Israel Is because you're fucking that is really pussy

You're so desperate for that Israeli pussy And I'm like guys we're in a fucking steakhouse Every they're like there are people And the worst part was They kept coming out and singing the birthday song Because everybody's having their birthday there Like three different people And in the middle of the birthday song

You hear a guy going Dude anybody who likes Israel needs to suck my dick And I'm like will you let him finish the fucking birthday song before talking about how they got to suck your dick again. Jesus Christ. People try to have a night. Horrible. We ruined a lot

of birthdays. We ruined a lot of birthdays. Expensive ones too. We ruined a lot of expensive birthdays. People were not happy. Myself included. I did take the steak home, though. That's why George W. Bush quit drinking because him and his friend

got too drunk and went around ruining birthdays at a country club restaurant. Terrible Terrible Decision points Okay My problem is No poop allowed

Here's Here's what some jerk off Put on their Garbage Can in my neighborhood See that? You see it? Is that rocks? It's rocks

On the top of a On the top of a Garbage Can Because they don't want you Putting your dog poop bags Into the garbage can They want you to walk around A little sign that says no dog poop

They want you to walk around all day And take your own dog poop back to your house And throw it away in your own garbage can Instead of the plethora of garbage cans That line the city streets So you don't interact with Other than just throw your refuse away It's not really their property actually

I think it's public property Once it's in the garbage can that's owned by the city So There's that. You know, it's not even there. It's not even really there as to lay a claim to. But these fuckers just don't want their nice, convenient garbage cans used for your garbage. They'd rather you transport your worm-infested feces

several miles back to your own place because they're selfish. Okay. Yeah. But Dick. Yeah. It's a green bin. Yeah, so. It all goes to the same place.

Are you putting your dog shit in the green bin? Yeah, sure, yeah. I'll put it anywhere. Any receptacle that's not my hand. What are you talking about? All pet waste must go into the black landfill bin because it can contain harmful pathogens and parasites that contaminate the compost.

Who gets a shit? The green bin is for organic materials like fruit scraps and yard waste, which are turned into compost. But animal waste is considered a hazardous contamination. You're putting your dog poop in the green bin? Yeah, I'll put it anywhere. Now I'm going to put it in the green bin even more. No, put it in the black bin. It goes in the black trash bin. You don't put it in the green compost bin. Yeah, but there's not always a black trash bin out. Sometimes there's only a green bin out.

So wait until you see a black bin. Why? Because that's the fucking kind. That's how it goes. That's the way you do it. I didn't sign up for that. If I see a bin, I'm going to put the, I'm putting dog shit in it. I'm not carrying it around to like see the perfect Goldilocks trash can. There's a news article Does it look like a trash can? What if I was colorblind? Here's a news article from ABC Bakersfield. Trash or green bin? Which bin does dog poop go in?

Either one. This video gives a brief down. Horse manure, cow manure. That's where the problems come in. Household pet poop has the chance to contain various diseases like E. coli and Giardia, which is put into the green bin has the potential to spread those diseases across various avenues like the compost

created from organic waste. So you're going to introduce E. coli and Giardia into the composting system because you're not putting it in the right bin. What the hell composting system are you talking about? There's just a big landfill. There's a big landfill where they dump all this shit. That's it. No, the green bins. It all goes up Shole Canyon.

No, those are the composting bins. They sort that shit. Well, and do what with it? Make hamburgers out of it? They make compost out of it. You can't put dog shit in there. Where is there compost? Wait, like, you can get, like, they, okay, where does the compost go from?

What are you talking about compost? Like, there's a hippie commune. As of January 1st, 2021, people in organizations throughout California are required to separate organic material. Where does, how to Cal? There's a guy at the factory down there pulling all the dog shit out. Great. Fine.

Have fun with it. There's probably is a guy who has to pull the dog shit out. You're making his life harder. I'm a job fucking creator then. that's not how that works that's like the guys who leave the carts out are job creators I am I also do that so a gay's got to post it

I can't believe you just showed me a picture of a guy who's going hey some assholes putting dog shit in the green bins and you went yeah those aren't going to stop me I got news for you those fucking gay bricks aren't going to stop me from putting dog shit in there did you understand why there's different color bins you know that

yeah because liberals because of liberal bullshit okay well I'm sorry, but the liberal bullshit's a law. You're not allowed to put dog shit in there. I don't give a fuck. I'm putting dog shit in all of them. Well, you know what? If you don't like it, put a fucking black bin out there. Put a dog shit bin out there then. If you don't like it. But the brick thing is not, I'm not part, I'm being, I'm not consenting to bricks. Well, because he, because he went, he went, well, surely no one in this neighborhood is so much of a monster that they would take my perfectly normal compost

and start throwing bags of dog shit in there. And then you know, because he put that on there on purpose because of the dog shit. Because yeah. So what? Because you're putting dog shit in there, which is fucking insane. Why are you doing that? Because it's trash. Put it in a regular trash? No, yeah. So put it in the trash, not the compost. So put a trash can out. Don't put

bricks. So he's got to put, he needs to put out a special trash can for you and your dog shit. Well, if he's the one that's so precious about his garbage, then yes. He's not precious about it. The only thing he's precious about is that you shouldn't put dog in it which you shouldn't be doing.

So this, these guys so selfish that he'd rather lift like 50 pounds of bricks than a flimsy plastic trash bin that could be out there forever. Do you see, I mean, do you see the selfishness here? He could have just leave the trash bin out all week. Of you have the dog, the dog takes a shit, it's your responsibility, it's not him, it's not his job to give you. Okay, but you're saying, oh, I'm cleaning it up, I stuffed it in his mailbox. Nah, the mailbox is for mail. I know that. Hey, if you put a lock on those bins, it's going in the fucking mailbox.

I'll tell you that. You lock that fucking shit up to school. Why was he just putting it in his black bin? Have you tried to put it in his black bin? He didn't have them out because he's fucking with me. I can't believe you've been putting dog shit in the guy's composting bins. What? Yeah, you're probably putting dog shit in everybody's composting bins.

And they're looking around, they're going, who's the nut job on our fucking street? It's me. Who thinks you can composting bins? dog shit. Like these guys are inspecting the fucking compost bins. Like who's out there fucking digging around in their own trash? They do. They do. They do inspect that.

Then they're crazy. Then they're totally crazy. And they shouldn't be listened to. The compost people are very serious about the compost. Good fuck them. I remember as a kid, we tried to have a composting program at the high school. And they were so disappointed because every time we set it in, they said, we can't use this because the kids aren't composting correctly.

And they're putting all their shit in the fucking composting bucket. Because composting is retarded. You're the tyranny of the. commons, man. You're the tragedy of the commons. Yes. As we put these garbage bins out everywhere and all we say is, hey, just put the right thing in the right color and you go, doesn't fucking matter. No, that's gay and dumb. I'm not doing it. I will pick the dog shit up off the street, but I'm not doing all this extra shit. That's right. I'm going to your neighborhood. I'm going to find the green bins with the rocks on it. I'm going to write a nice little letter. I'm going to

say, hey, the tyranny of the dog shit can be traced back to one man. Yeah, go ahead. Keep an eye out Come on over. Keep an eye out for this individual. Send him my next door link. I'm going to give a picture of your dog. Yeah. Say my wife and I have been banned from next door three times. How far are you?

Where are you picking up the dog shit? This is like a half mile from my house. I'm not carrying around dog shit for a half a mile. Or a mile, actually. I got to walk down. And this house is in the middle of nowhere, too. So there's no, it's like a desert. It's like a garbage desert.

There's no garbage that way. There's no garbage that way. I can't believe you showed a picture of three compost. bins and said, look at this asshole who won't know you put dog shit in them. Because it's the same. It's just trash. It's trash bins. And at no point did you say, I wonder

why they're a different color than the other trash bins. I know why they're the other color. I don't give a fuck about what color they are. Did you think you can compost dog shit? It's got fucking parasites and shit in it. I don't care. I'm just putting it in a receptacle. He probably doesn't want your dog shit in his trash because you don't know what fucking diseases your dog has. He doesn't know.

my dog has less diseases than him so you're telling me people are putting people are putting yard trimmings and shit in here and tree trimmings and there's no squirrel shit or coyote shit in here that they're putting in there I think the point is whatever small

amount of shit that gets left on a tree branch is not comparable to a giant fucking so I'll split up the dog shit in all three barrels then I'll see if you're I don't think that's the solution You think coyote shit doesn't get thrown in here?

That's retarded. Why don't you take it up with the local council? Maybe they can let you know exactly how much dog sheep is no need. I just lift the bricks up and put the dog shit in there. I don't care. This is horrible. At least put it in. They must have a black bit out there.

What is it? What is compost even? It's just a bunch of crap and poop. Or it's like somewhat poop. Yeah, I don't know. Basically. I don't know. I'm not intimately familiar with compost.

Rotting food. You can't just put fucking dog shit in there. I know that. You can. You can just put dog shit in there. I've got news for you. All right. Well, congratulations.

You are a bad neighbor. You are a bad neighbor. This guy's a bad neighbor. He should have put out the black bin. If he knew it's a problem. I'm going on the neighbor's app. I'm clipping this and I'm going on the neighbor's app. And I'm going, this guy.

This guy's the one. Good. Put a picture of me on that trash bin so he knows he was doing it. Why don't you just go on neighbor's? and go, I'm the dog shit bandit and you'll never stop me. I'm not stealing dog shit. I'm like the dog shit Santa.

You're the dog shit giver. Yeah. All right. I'm the dog shit. Regulations on fucking up LA's composting supply with bags of dog shit. You know what happened?

It all gets dumped in the garbage. Shut the fucking thing. You know what happened to that guy is that the fucking city came, took his green bins, found the dog shit into him. And then they sent him a letter and they said, hey man, you can't be putting dog shit

in these bins. That's what happened. That's why he put bricks on top. It's because he got a letter from the city. That's what they'll do. That happened to me. I put the wrong fucking shit. When I lived in fucking Oakland,

I put the wrong shit in a bin. I got a letter from the city and they said, if you keep putting the wrong shit in the bin, we're going to find you. You got your letter a neighbor. I don't know, fucking human skulls and shit. I don't fucking remember. What were you really putting in the bin?

I don't remember. It was a million years ago. I probably put fucking kitchen trash in the blue bin, which is only for recyclables, you know? You could do that. I wasn't sorting my recyclables enough. They're like, you're putting too much paper in the black bin.

In Oakland, that's the problem that they have? Dude, any way they can fucking nickel and dime you, they will. Of course, the garbage man's going around going, ooh, too much paper. I can get this guy a fine. I get a bonus on my spreadsheet for that. They have gay black garbage men in Oakland? Yeah, I think they do. I think they got a lot of jobs for gay black guys in Oakland

because I'm the only people left. It do be like that, Mr. Stansby. So I'm sure that some garbage guy went, ooh, dog shit in the green bin. I get to write a letter. You got your neighbor a letter from the city. Everything that you're saying is just BS. They don't, they just dump it in the same truck.

They dump it in the landfill. There's no composting program. Okay, put a bunch of dog shit in your green bin and see what happens. I put all kinds of shit. Dude, I barely pay attention to which bin I'm putting shit in. I put tons of dog shit. in my green bin. I don't care. Okay.

I'll put monitors in the trash. I'll put marine batteries in the trash. I don't give a shit. What are you talking about? You know, some of us like to keep our city clean. I don't fuck L.A. I'm lucky. I have a dumpster, so I just get to take the box of cat shit and just throw it in there all at once. Yeah. I've got to worry about nothing.

Well, that's my problem. No poop allowed. Yeah. Well, have a dumpster. This guy's green bins. You're a bad neighbor. Why does he have three? What is he like the king of composting? I don't know. Maybe.

Well, that's the other thing. As I'm confused, is he composting all the time? But maybe they just keep not taking his green bins. He's dumping fucking rocks in the trash. That's what he's doing. Bricks and stuff. Well, what can you do? All right.

Is that the show? Yeah, that's the show. That's the show. That's the show. Biggest problem. Biggest problem. That's show to vote on the problems. And check out to will.

Stancel show and reply to every tweet that Will Stancel has with that It do be like that, Mr. Stancel meme. I'm sure he's filtered that by this point. He must be going on. How? You can't filter an image. That's, well, yeah, I guess you're right. Yeah, you can't. Unfilterable.

Do be like that, Mr. Stansel. Doodleoo-do-lood-lood-lut-do-d-d-d-do-d-d-d-d-d-t. You know what's crazy is from last week. Flirk Respector for five. Have you guys checked out the Will Stancel show? Best use of AI have seen, rivals adults from shows. Wow. Wow. Yes. Flirk respecter. Got that one in there.

Cammer for two. I'm shocked. We are back. Balder for two. Thank you for two. Thank you, Balder. L.J. Claiborino for five. Walking home today, I saw a T-bone car crash. A woman had a baby in the front seat of her car. Yikes. Beer pig. Riley and Friends for two, I can't believe Vito made the show late. Captain Blackbread for 10. Biggest problem in the universe. We are in 2025, and somehow there are a fuckload of mini-marts that still don't do cashback.

Riley, I'm bringing this one on the issue crew. Johnny Rico for two. Biggs problem in the universe. Squeaky shoes after it rains. Riley, friends for two. Vito, just say you have cancer. It worked for boogie. Let's just say, I hope I don't have cancer.

I probably don't. Because you got diabetes. It's not diabetes. Joshua Cruz for two. Venezuela needs a taste of freedom eagle. Black Crimson for five. Thank you for the snack. And thank you for not killing yourselves.

Not Mothman for two. These names, I'm having a stroke. Strategy for five. Imagine Pookie and Tommy No Feats. Bet's on me to chuck in five, three-pointers in fourth quarter in a gambling scheme. But instead, I just chucked dick in my ass. Sarah Gardner for five. That man, Donnie Cunt wants to tax the whites, too.

He wasn't even born in America. Yeah. The Pope for five. Hey, but he said he's going to cut the fishing line. He's going to cut the fishing line, he said. What does that mean? Oh, you know what I mean. Not the fishing line.

Mom Dami says he's going to get a big crane and snip, cut the fishing line. And that's it. The Pope, okay. That's the end of it. Oh, the line. Then they're all shut down. Then they all are going to run back inside. Yep.

No going outside for you, you boys. He's going to keep snipping it. He's figured out how to keep the Jews home from voting. The Pope for five, hey there, Beto. Gay boy has come out of rehab. Please congratulate him on the effort. Otherwise, his bones will break again. Congrats, Gay Boy.

Congratulations, Gay Boy. Keep it up. Coup for two. It do be like that, Mr. Masterson. It do be like that. Mr. Stansel? Forgot to check your shoes for shit. Now you're running crap laps.

Criks for two. Milo, no thanks. We have dying gay boy at home. Tampenon for two. I remember what Vito could have gotten a free bike. Oh, yeah. Milo has as well. God gave Milo brain cancer or something.

Did you see that? Didn't he say he, like, thinks he has cancer? Or, like, isn't that one of those things where he... It's a... Attention cancer that he has. I hope he gets some attention soon, so the cancer goes away. Is Milo having like a resurgence? Like, everybody's scrambling for relevance with the death of Charlie Kirk,

and Milo is not winning that race at all. There needs to be a website that tracks like, who's Kirkin this week? Who's Kirkin? Who's Kirkin up the storm, man? Yeah. Because his wife's trying to do it. And, like, yelled at a kid. because the kid says his dad is the CIA.

Yeah, he's not. He's not Kirkin. That's not Kirkin, bro. Fucking, what's your guy? Nick Fuentes seems to be stumbling a little bit. What? Is he Kirkin? How?

What's he stumbling with? I saw some thing like last, like a couple days ago where they said he's a, who said that. He was yelling at, he was yelling at somebody on his stream or something. That's cool. He always says that. That Benny Johnson guy is the worst, man. If he's the next Charlie Kirk, I'm going to, oh, I'm going to be praying.

for another fucking brownie blast let's put it that way that guy sucks Jesus LJ Clauberino for 5 AI Martin Luther King Jr. Stealing groceries is my new

favorite video I got to get access to Sora man I'm stuck on Vio It's not as good Can you just sign up for Sora You gotta get access? You have to get invited to it

And it's Beg Emily Eus for an invite If anybody knows how to get me Sora I got some ideas because Vio's not as good George Peter Gassus for five One of the greatest comic books Immortal Mask is coming

Just around the corner You won't be disappointed Guys check out Immortal Mask George Peter Gassus Cardinal Bird for five Vito what do you think of the new Evolution dig up

I have not seen that And then for another two He says dig up your own butt twin Dig up your own butt twin Oh yeah I thought Immortal Mask had already come out Is this a new printing? I don't know.

I've had that for like a year. Oh, you had this for a year? Yeah, but I have like a digest-sized version. What the fuck does that mean? Digest. Well, how big is that? You never bought an Archie digest at the grocery store? Oh, that's that size?

That's what that means? Yeah, yeah. Like Reader's digest? Yeah, exactly. Reader's digest. It's a digest. Okay. Cool.

Straturgery for two. Awesome problem. I really hate drunk loops. And if Straturgery was funny, he would have sent another $2 and said, awesome problem. I really hate drunk loops. You missed an easy way up there. We'll see.

Straturgery for five. Imagine Pookie and Tom. No, he actually repeated the same Chuck Dixon thing for some reason. Oh, okay. Oh, no, that is him looping. Damn it. I missed the joke. Imagine Pookie and Tommy Nofeet's betting on me to Chuck in.

I got it. All right, Sturgery. I fucked up your joke. Ron's Goober for five. IRL Vito Corrist, his buddy, and a stranger to a steakhouse on his birthday to watch him binge eat. He threw up and demanded he wouldn't pay on his birthday. I wish.

I wish that was what happened. Yeah, wait a minute. You were crashing their party. They invited me. Oh, okay. That's fine then. DeSanti off road for two says diabetes. Diabetes.

Guys, don't forget to vote on all the problems. The biggest problem that show. Dick, can you show the list of our top supporters, which I need to update. And hopefully we'll have a bonus episode. sooner. Biggest problem in boats. Biggest problem in boats. What are we to talk about with boats? What's the biggest problem

in boats do you think? We're not doing a boat's episode. What's the biggest problem in boats? What's the biggest problem of boats? I don't, I mean, I do, I like the idea of boats, I guess. I don't know. Well, what's the biggest problem of them? That I don't have one. I wish I had a houseboat.

There you go. Right there. I wish I had a house boat. I wish I had a house boat. I wish I had a houseboat. That's a great problem. I wish I had a houseboat. All right. Goodbye, everybody.

Bye.