The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 143

Episode Date: June 8, 2024

I got all those magic cards now, that's fine. Ohhhhh didja now! You can save that for my post office, uh, problem if you want. Is that what you're doing? Is that why you're doing that? Yeah, because the post office fucked me. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm their jobs right right everything would be fine oh man I got sebum like crazy oh come on I'm gonna fucking throw up with that what am I supposed to do it's like it off in the middle of the don't throw it on the floor in my house it's itchy what are you doing there's a tissue right there there's not gonna help I need a scraper I need a scraper don't put it on your no put the don't do not do that! Oh my fucking god!

What? Oh my god, I'm gonna fucking throw up Vito. Look at the marks. No! Wad it up! Hahahaha I meant to put your sepum into a tissue instead of rolling it around and flicking it on the fucking floor. What's wrong with you? I don't know, I got scalp itch.

Well don't put shit on the floor Do you pick your nose and flick it on the floor in somebody's house? Yeah, of course Why would you do that in your house like a million times? Oh my God? You are you are totally out of control. You're you have probably the worst manners of anyone. I've ever known Doesn't matter worse than some animals none of the none of this matters at all Cares who cares it's my house everything human beings do is disgusting all right no no no sitting there and doing nothing and not Excreting anything is not discussed. We all excrete there. We have a specific room for excrete right not here go in there You're gonna peel shit off your scalp. You go in there. That's just fucking atrocious, man. I got a scalp tickle

So stop itching it Stop. I can't. What do you mean you can't? It itches So wear a yarmulke. That's not gonna help. Scratch it through the hat at least! Dick's mad that I scraped some sebum off my scalp. And then bald it up in your fingers and then flicked it on the fucking floor. There we go. Flicked it on my floor. It's just dirt. Like you're picking your nose and flicking it outside. It's just dirt. What's different? It's not just dirt. It's goo that came out of your fucking head. It all turns into nothing. It's nothing. No, that's how you live in like a hovel is thinking that that's how it works.

Thinking that shit needs to be dirt needs to be put in receptacles or in tissue papers is the correct way to do it vacuum it up, okay? You vacuum your own shit. I do not here to vacuum for you. Hey Today's episode is brought to you by all for one treasure hunt the ultimate adventure app the $10,000 treasure hunt starts Right now wait. We're kicking it off? We're in charge of this? What do you mean we're kicking it off? Well, I mean, is it the beginning of the Treasure Hunt?

I just read the fucking ad. That's what the ad says. Okay, so it starts today? The Treasure Hunt is a place for you to discard your gross... ...semen shit. No, it's not. It's fun. Tell me about the Treasure Hunt. I don't know about the Treasure Hunt. Pre-roll. What are you talking about? I read it. That's how it goes. I don't know about the tree roll. I saw I'm back! Jesus Christ, welcome to the biggest problem of the year! All for one treasure hunt!

It's an app! Go on your fucking phone and tell them the app! How do I know it's an app? It doesn't say that on the read, does it? All for one treasure hunt! It just says the fucking app! No it does! It says the ultimate adventure app! Why don't you clear the steep one out of your fucking brain? Is it on iPhone and Android? Is it on both devices?

You know what? You tell me! Go fucking try to download the All for One Treasure Hunt and tell me what it's not on! Our first ad read is going swimmingly. Jesus Christ! Well if you're gonna do an ad read, I should know what it is! Why? Cause people need to know where they can get it! Oh they're looking to- Oh Vito, God!

I'm just so baffled by what Dick read word for word from the ad. I'm too fucking confused. If I did an ad and I just say, it's Jimbo Joe jangles, it would be guys get yourself Jimbo Joe jangles. And then I just move on from it. It doesn't tell anybody anything. If you did an ad, it would be 40 minutes of shilling. No, I do great ads. You're working your own projects in other people's. No, your ads are dog shit.

What are you talking about? It's shilling until people are so dead and numb and don't care about what you're selling anymore that they fucking hate it. Guys, it's Blongos Jungos. Get it now! Now I want more! Yeah, exactly! I want more! Ten thousand dollars, Treasure Hunt starts now. What do you need more than that? now what do you need more than that well guys

you know what you do the next fucking ad read so we can sit through a fucking hour and a half the treasure hunt is on what the fuck is this shit I mean I wanna know can I win ten thousand dollars hello is the audio popping again or something

is the audio not working nobody's saying anything about the audio popping again or something? Is the audio not working? Nobody's saying anything about the audio. Yes, hi. We got a phone call here. Oh you fucking bitch! More spam! More spam. Well, we got a great show here today.

The only show that ranks every problem in the universe from- From shitty ad reads. from the war on drugs to rick-a-doodle-doo kids not getting enough hugs. No. How about from not uploading the live show to a girlfriend experience with Vito. It's a girlfriend experience. Mike and Calceterra. I have the live show. I heard you talking about that on the dick show. Yeah the Vito experience. What's wrong with the Vito experience? It's a good experience. It's better than the hackamania VIP meet-and-greet. What a waste of time that shit is wouldn't you rather hang out with Vito? Get yourself a steak. We went to the Peter Luger. It was great. Yeah, where did we where did you let the fan take me though?

Fucking all you can eat Korean shithole buffet where the tables were more greased than wood. Alright. I mean I guess we could have went, but we would have had to go all the way to the strip. And it wasn't all you can eat. It wasn't all, well I just, whatever. I didn't think it made sense. You're haranguing people to eat more. Don't you want some more to eat?

It's all you can eat. Man, we're stuffed. You guys suck at an all you can eat experience. Everybody ate you want some more to eat? It's all you can eat. You guys suck at an all you can eat experience. Everybody ate like, everybody ate white rice until they were full. I shouldn't have got white rice for the table because fucking mint salad and Riley were just like, Oh, white rice. I'm like, don't you guys want all the fucking meat? And they're like, no, this is good. It was enough. It's fine. Completely wasted our money. Buffet.et in terms of buffing anxiety

You guys are the fucking worst at the all you can eat. It was it was perfectly fine except that it was $80 It was not $80. It was 35 bucks a person But with tip and stuff you if you tipped $55. You're a fucking idiot. I didn't tell you to tip $55 You're fucking a drunk out of your mind. Anyway, I was a couple things. Yeah, you were more than a couple things, but You you went through the whole Nick arcade experience solidarity Just kidding jk. I'm just kidding What do you think of hackamania? I have the show I have the show I think we should pay wallet

I don't think we should upload it at all. That's not how this works. I think it should be like, you know, one of these legendary shows that was so good. You had to be there? That you had to be there. Well, that's not how it works, Vito. Maybe we could put out like a director's cut. You know, like a couple bits. Should we put your stand up in the director's cut? We're definitely, that was, I can't burn my material, so let's not do that. You think that was the worst stand up of all time?

Let's not burn that material You know it's very important to me as a stand up. What did Vinny say when he came back out after your stand up? He said I thought pedophiles were funny Hahaha Which was Pedophiles were supposed to be funny That doesn't make any sense It doesn't make any sense

And also the audience didn't know me as a pedophile all some of them might but all the young ones did young ones Well, I remember that guy apparently some people even before I started the set They immediately walked because remember there were some guys were like, I can't believe you're letting Vito and dick come to hackamania Oh, yeah, and there was a couple other guys who were no selling my jokes What does that mean? It means that they were just like stone face, not laughing. The audience? Isn't that your job to make them laugh? I think they were no selling me.

I think they were purposefully not laughing. The audience sabotaged your comedy by not laughing? Is that what you're saying? I told those same jokes at the Josh Denny comedy stand up spectacular, and it went pretty good Went pretty That was that was one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life that's good. It's fine It is what I thought you were just gonna walk off. I probably should have

About halfway through I should have said well we know what great show guys you don't at shit. Yeah, go fuck yourself you you you don't think that's funny Yeah, I thought things funny the dirt is funny. Yeah, I thought just I was like I'll just power through who cares It's practice. I felt bad for the guy who had to go up after me after I walked half the room I really fucked him. You know, it's I told them not to put me up like I was like Let me go bomb and then you guys can pick up the pace. I don't Any regrets a lot of Vegas was a If I could redo Vegas I got I thought our show was good

I mean it was that wasn't our audience, but I thought it was good really I thought it was I don't know it was fine. I mean we had a lot of tech. I don't think live shows are great though I always think they're well here. I I have some thoughts on how we should here's the problem It's 40 minutes late. That was a problem for me. It's already kind of not in a great mood Yeah, especially me and also when I think about it. I went we should have just done Aaron Imholt Nick Rekeda, Stuttering John. That's what they want. That's all they wanted. That's all they wanted. They're like, where's the Stuttering John material? Where's the Stut Joe? Where's the Stut Joe, man? And I'm like, I came here for Stut Joe. If we had done Biggest Problem,

Rock Topical, what is this? Who are you making fun of with this? This is like Seinfeld shit. Go back to the 90s, boys. I should have, I mean, we're good. You fucking blew it. I assume being you riffing is just funny already, which it usually is, but honestly, having a live, the live show experience, cause we're not facing each other, as somebody brought up. We get a lot of comedy out of like being able to read each other. Listen to me, listen to me.

I can read you. Live shows, if they're, are for podcasts, Yeah. Are shit. Yeah. Okay? Radio live shows, it's a big party, it's a lot of fun, but you're never gonna get a good show out of it.

Was WHP, WHP was okay. It was great, every other show was great. But in my opinion, live shows are to be there and to party while you're there and to party a lot. That's why I put partying up at the very front show. I think if you're gonna do a live show, it's just gotta be reference after reference that everybody can just go, I know that, I know that,

I'm aware of this. Because WHTP was just like, remember this, remember this, remember this. WHTP is great, no, no, no, Carl is great. He's great because he understood what the audience wants. They wanted Stuttering John, They wanted Aaron Imholt. Yeah, they wanted Nick Reketa. Yeah, he's runs a tight ship. What was your segment? Actually, your segment was hard. The food guy. Oh, yeah.

That segment was hard because there wasn't a lot to comment on there. But your first segment was good. Should've had you up for that, right? I killed during the Aaron Imholz stuff. I was doing real good. Yeah, you did. You were great. I was doing great during that. That was my one moment of redemption. That I had a couple good zingers for Aaron Imholz. Always nice to start out a big comedy show weekend by totally fucking it up. Completely bombing. I am posting that to Patreon.

Okay, but don't post the stand-up. If... ooooh... If that stand-up gets $10,000. I will ask Can I post the material is let me post the Josh Denny Stand-up first cuz that went well, and it was the same fucking jokes just a better audience. I Was killing it the Josh Denny fucking? a better audience. I was killing it the Josh Denny fucking stand up. Whatever. That goddamn audience didn't think I was funny at all. What the fuck's wrong with them? I'm not doing stand up anymore. I never wanted to do- you know what? I always- you came in

hot. You were hot. Was that it? You were hot shit. No, no. I fucking- Came in thinking you were great. No, no. I just thought I would make it- You got humbled. I thought I would make it through okay, but- you got humbled big time. I don't think I'm a stand-up I don't think it works cuz you know what I like I like banter and you can't really banter to yourself Yeah, a little banter to yourself, but okay. Well. I'll be posting that no no no at patreon. Well. It's in It's Maya. I also have access to patreon and if that stand-up goes up I will delete it well if it goes up even for a second You're toast no no even for no no we've got shooters watching f5 f5

Like that yeah, all right Women always having to win arguments won last week that was my problem good job Thank you. Classic. You had a woman problem the week before, so I got mine in. The War on Drugs was next. A lot of people really hype on The War on Drugs. They really hate cocaine and love cigarettes for some reason. Cigarettes and cheeseburgers around kids?

Absolutely. Cocaine locked in a safe in the closet? No way. Straight to prison. Was there a single a safe in the closet? No way. Straight to prison. Was there a single bullet casing on the floor? Who knows what could have happened? Yeah, it was hidden under a bunch of beers. Well, a kid could have got to that bullet casing. And they were pounding those beers. The Reketa shit is so insufferable. Where you're like...

I mean, like, yeah, he should drink a little less. That's it. He shouldn't go on streams and get too drunk. But other than that you really think that guy, you know, whatever it's amazing. He looks totally healthy today, it's the only cocaine and Alcohol addict that I've seen Pop pop right back in a couple days. It's really remarkable. He had a good reason to drink on that drinking stream I'm pretty sure if I lost a appeal lawsuit for a hundred thousand dollars I'd probably want to you'd be eating right now. I would be eating some tacos right now

Either that are throwing up in your bathroom That's why I gained all that weight because the actual I lost you that's that was the problem Are you getting back on Ozempic South Park did in Ozempic where they had they're doing the same thing Well, Stocktip Veto just made a bunch of people rich Oh, that's not it There it is Stocktip Veto, day trader Veto, all in with the hot Stocktip Hims is going to the roof

I told you I said I tweeted I said if they ever offer Ozempic on a fucking subscription plan This stocks going to the moon and they came out Doing it they said not only are they doing it It's gonna be one-tenth the price of everybody else and it's gonna be on their little subscription basis. That's amazing So are you getting on it? I'll get on theirs. Yeah, you get on theirs. Okay, I think I don't know How long it's gonna take to roll out. I don't know if it's already out yet, but Microplastic in your balls and then forgetting things while you travel. I forgot pretty much everything.

Somebody asked what was the best buffet food in Vegas. You know what, that should have been my problem. I didn't get to buffet it up. Because our- What was your buffet video that you posted on our channel? Or you're just in a buffet eating by yourself, pretending to be on a business call so they don't know you're streaming.

What the fuck was that? You watched that? No, I read the comments. I don't know, man. What are you doing? Oh, it was like 8 a.m. and we're always talking about buffets on this show. What are you doing going to an all-you-can-eat buffet

at eight in the morning? Because it's a breakfast buffet, it's nice. Oh, lordy. I said, would this be funny if I livestream this? And I livestreamed it and the answer is no, it's not really that funny or interesting at all But you know a series of big L's comedy requires Experimentation I think people had more fun that afterwards. I went to Frank and sons

I think the second half of that video is fun We just made people watch you eat They watch me eat and then watch me shop for toys at the Frank and Sons Collectible Shop. Wow, is there anything else to you? Did you finish it off with shilling for Superkiller and then? No, but once I have Superkiller in hands I'm gonna go to every person on Comic Row and I'm gonna give them a copy and be like, you... Sell this? Should be selling Superkiller.

Okay. What are you doing this weekend? You wanna hit up that breakfast buffet? No, I never wanna hit up that breakfast buffet? No, I never want to hit up a breakfast buffet. They got all, here's what's funny about it. It's 80% bread and potatoes. They have like 10 different potato dishes and like 20 different breads. It's like you want a waffle, you want a pancake, you want a bread pudding, you want a French toast.

Did you do this to gear up for Vegas? No, I did this to gear up for a frankincense. I need a little... Okay. It's a good okay. It's a good deal It's like 15 bucks. It's just Gluttonous I didn't need that much Okay Chris Tendiver says if I could tell Nick one thing right now to make him feel better would be that veto has been calling

Him his good friend all night. I think multiple times in the episode. I said Nick Rekate is not my friend MVC says Nick may be in jail, but Vito is in a prison of his own choices. I don't know what that means. Ian says Nick's mugshot is the best he's looked in months. Glad to see him looking so well. Was worried there for a bit. Me says rip lawyer. Datboy says I don't know why people think Nick, Dick is Nick's dad and needs to personally host an intervention and that Nick would even listen. People who don't want help won't accept it from anyone. I don't think he has a drinking problem. I think he's a government problem.

I think these battle lines are silly. Yeah, everyone's really eager to make fun of somebody, and their advice is always, well, don't respond. Stay off the internet. You gotta stay off the internet, where I can make fun of you with impunity. But then it's also become like, well, I guess that means Eric

She'll I didn't commit charity fraud and you're like, no, these are unrelated things That cocksucker. I'm surprised hasn't commented more. I mean he offered to pay for next rehab Yeah, when's that pay for his bill pay for his bail? Yeah, pay for those kids to get a couple more cans of Spaghetti Oh's or whatever the fuck Alberto Hernandez is Nick Or Cato went from drinking in bars to drinking behind bars well There's one stream you two were doing or he's talking about Eric Jly and you're like don't say that Nick Onion Desi says nulls reaction to rackets creeps me out.

We all know he's jumping with joy inside. Would actually be funny if he just basked in it for a moment. Instead he has to act like a woman and pretend to be concerned and blame people for this terrible situation as if he isn't loving it. Why do Kiwi Farms guys act like this? That's a good question.

I also wanna know that. It is the worst possible situation. Why can't you just take pleasure in someone hurting? Yeah. Which you obviously feel. Why do you have to have this weird trolls remorse and warp everything like you're some kind of Zostrian... Well, they're just retards because they're like, hey, we're really going to help Nick Rekate as kids by finding church footage and trying to pay for the body cam. I'm fundraising to get the body cam footage so I can see the kids get traumatized by the

cops so I can help them. What part of that don't you understand? I will say that because of the Nick Rekate thing and even I don't know if you saw Alex Stein went on Tim Pool was talking about it to you know thousands tens of thousands of people Oh really this is like I think what's going on in this weird stupid internet space a grift apocalypse This is America's drama now Other than P. Diddy. This is the biggest like ongoing Multi-personal drama of all time and I feel like we're kind of... We're not at the center of it, but we're like right there.

And I also feel like we caused it. What do you mean, we? Because of the Eric July thing? Well, yeah! Well, Eric July and Yellow Flash turned on Nick and drove him to Vices, like drinking and cocaine, and they caused it. There's a lot going on. Eric July and Yellow Flash caused all this.

Well, Tony from Hacked the Movies caused this, but... But I like him, so he didn't. We should call it, this is the Tony-verse. Someone's gotta make like a detailed timeline leading out from Tony from Heck the Movies. The fucking grid and the little strings going everywhere. Big Z says, I like how the show gets increasingly more complicated every episode. New props, costumes, masks, fog machines, and puppets. Pretty soon, Dick's going to need a trunk

to haul all this shit around. You don't have to hire someone to do pyrotechnics and laser lights. You get Sean on board too, man in the morning. Yeah, pyrotechnics, that would be. We're in the morning zoo at this point. How tall is Vito? Brody Mullet says, I'm 6'3 and was up to 365 so I know what it's like to be obese.

Keep going Vito. Down to 275 and love being under 300. Just stop eating sugar and carbs. Get a pen so you can write this down. Stop eating sugar and carbs and stick to lean meats. And if you need some fat, have a lil' cheese, he says. Lil' cheese. I had two hot dogs for breakfast. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Velveeta it's like American cheese. Is it a slice of cheese? It's a slice of cheese. Yeah processed cheese food Okay, it comes in slices. It comes in slices. I don't actually like it, but I mean no one thinks you're eating this stuff because you like it Well, I bought it thinking You're supposed to make mac and cheese with a little bit of Velveeta

Okay, you know that because the emulsifying salts contain inside and then I fried up some shallots in the pan I love shallots. Okay. And I put a little some jalapenos on there. That was for breakfast? And some yellow mustard. That's the only thing I've eaten today. I mean breakfast probably at noon. What was breakfast? Noon. I didn't have anything else today to eat I don't think. Okay. Natural casing Franks. Those are at least that. Okay. I don't know if that's any, that's not any better. The day's better. Housy on says, if Nick was an atheist, he would be a free man. Very true. Okay, that's all the comments I have for today.

I did want to say, if we're talking about the show getting ever more complicated, I saw somebody posted on the PKA board my comment about how PKA is a hard show to get into. And the PKA fan base agrees with me. Where they're like, well, I kind of see what he's saying. Wait, on Reddit? Yeah, on Reddit. Because their Reddit fan base fucking hates them. Do they?

Yeah. Every show, the Reddit fan base eventually just turns into seething hatred. It's crazy. I think my understanding was spot on. They probably all love you. You're going to be the only radio host they want to turn on. I get some good comments on the Reddit.

Yeah. I check the Destiny board sometimes. Like, oh, that Vito guy is pretty good. Yeah. We got to get Destiny back on. He's in the Middle East right now. He's in a. Oh, he's in Israel?

He's in Israel. Ah, because all the money they're giving him to shill for Israel, he had to go pick it up personally. He's having a lot. He's on a whole Israel tear. It's like a whole thing for him. It's very interesting. We'll have to have months sometime Well dick, I have a very exciting Vest yeah, so he doesn't assassin go to the wailing wall One of my think how much you think Israel's paying him

Probably showing he's doing come on destiny doesn't is not getting paid off by the Jews Keep it fair right keep it fair. Well, maybe they're off by the Jews. It's just a little tip. Just keep it fair, right? Keep it fair. Keep it fair. Well, maybe they're paying for his travel. I don't know. He's having a time. He's checking all the checkpoints. You see that wailing wall? The Nikki Haley pictures at the wailing wall? No, I didn't see that. Do you see Destiny fighting with your good friend Dave Smith? Oh yeah. Yeah, friend Dave Smith? Yeah Yeah, cuz Dave Smith backed out of a debate

Yeah, I think he did check out of a debate who backed out of running for a libertarian president Yeah, just wanted the attention didn't want to do the hard work though I'm a libertarian president. Oh, it's work. Oh, never mind. I just want to go on my I just want to get attention on my podcast Did he win being in did he run or no he did run some some weird fucking lunatic one Here you didn't think libertarians could be embarrassed any more than they are and then they elect a clown show a literal embodiment of a fucking clown show There's anything happening with the libertarian party really matter How about supposed to be about educating people you know their personal freedom? clown show. I don't know. Does anything happening with the Libertarian Party really matter? How many votes do they control?

Well, it's supposed to be about educating people, you know. Personal freedoms. And then they should all back whatever candidate is the most Libertarian, right? But they don't do that because they're all, because most of them are autistic. They don't understand what the point of them is. I don't know how big the Libertarian voting block is, but it does seem like- It's like 3%. They all went for- I know Trump spoke to them, right? So he's trying to get that vote

Did he have enough? Did he speak to them about Israel was Trump telling it the Libertarian Party how important Israel is in this election? All I know is uh, I'm seeing the billboards that I would never vote for a felon, you know Yeah, there's been a lot of fuckery from Biden Did you see the the news story that Trump had a video saying we're gonna usher in a rike? Did you see that? No, it turned out that it was just a video that You know, you can get like templates for videos, you know, and it's just like a bunch of stock images or whatever Yeah, it's like yeah That's just a stock thing of like an old-timey newspaper from like you know with a bunch of old-timey news articles

You know like this black woman used it for her music video Yeah, it's like nobody looked at the stock images to see that there was a new right Yeah It's like a world war two era like newspaper article and they're trying to say Trump's guys hit it in there We didn't fucking cares anymore Biden did fucking it's all it's crazy politics is crazy. I don't know I don't care this time. I don't like the line I like the I like the wall shit. That was funny. Mm-hmm, you know, but who cares about this? There's no more wall We don't need a wall. Well, she got Nick Fuentes back. So there's a little bit of comedy coming back into politics

Yeah, at least I got Nick Fuentes belly. She got Nick You can always look on the Nazi side of things. Anyway, I have a very famous segment that I'd love to talk about. It's called vote it up. What? Yeah! Off to what? Treasure hunt! All clear! How about it? We're here! Computer!

Fun! Literature, culture, gospel, and the backwards of Jog's rap People's family, foxes, gang, just me and my wife I like to have a little intro and outro when get to in our riff on a little bit. Oh, you like that? It's kinda fun. Turn the vocals up. Don't make me fucking strain to listen to your joke! Turn the fucking vocals up! Let the vocals be very clear and dominant,

because otherwise they get lost in the mix. They don't have to be good, they just have to be loud! Yeah. Well guys, this is Voted Up. Do I really need to introduce it? You know this segment. We're talking about past problems. putting them in a new light. Well dick from bonus episode number three Which is a that's a callback You brought in I believe this problem

That was the biggest problem in what 2023 and you said the biggest problem in 2023 was GameStop stock Not buying GameStop stock. Are they gonna fuck him? Roaring Kitty? Yeah, is he gonna get his billion dollars? Well, it remains to be seen. GameStop stock has been on a wild ride this past month as investor influencer Roaring Kitty returned to the web after three years. His reappearance caused the stock to rise as much as 600 percent, running from ten dollars all the way to sixty three dollars last night. But by today's opening bell, prices had fallen back down to twenty eight dollars a share, meaning the fifteen hundred dollars I thought I was going to have turned into like negative three hundred.

Top tip Vito, day trader Vito. Always with the hot stock tip. It felt pretty good for a second there. I didn't know it was going to get cut in half in a fucking day. This was a windfall of course for investors who got it early but big losses for those who jumped in late. I'm down two today Vito. Point one two percent. Oh you and your S&P should have bought him. Oh actually that's not true. I'm also 2 today Vito,.12%. Oh, you and your S&P should have bought Hims. Oh, actually that's not true. I'm also up five, you know, whatever, 5% divided by 12 is.

Fair enough. Hims is still killing it though. Everybody's on that Hims train. Anyway, we'll see what's gonna happen. I think the interesting thing though is it's not a short situation anymore. He basically, you know, he did a live stream today. But it is a short situation,. He basically, you know he did a live stream today. But it is a short situation, but yeah.

Well the, but the outstanding shorts are not as intense as they were three years ago. I don't think, like previously. I guess we'll see. Well his, his, his live stream, he didn't even talk, as far as I understand much about a short situation. He just said, I like the stock and I think it's a good company.

But it's possible, yeah, I was gonna say, it's very possible. That's why he's also acting all fucking retarded. Like, oh, look, I'm not manipulating the stock, see, it went down. It does seem like that might have just been him trying to get away from, who handles that, the, I don't know, FTC?

SEC. SEC. Trying to make sure he doesn't get in trouble because they want to nail him for Manipulating stock prices, but if all he says is I like the stock and I bought the stock because I like the stock They can't really do anything. They can well they can Know where you think you're gonna have to prove it in court. Hey, Trump gave a woman money and he's going to jail Well, you can't use campaign finance. Oh fuck off pay off a hooker. That's actually he didn't He didn't no he didn't they wanted him to have put that as a campaign

Finance charge. Okay, that's what he's getting But you did they're saying well, do you actually think that's legitimate in any way what's happening to Trump? I think it should be like a slap on the wrist situation a misdemeanor. Yeah Do you think that's legitimate in any way what's happening to Trump? I think it should be like a slap on the wrist situation. Like a misdemeanor? Yeah. I think it should be like a little thing. So 35 felonies and going to prison. Right.

He should probably pay a fine or something. But that other guy already went to prison which sucks. Who? His campaign finance manager. Didn't that guy get two years for that? Was it Cohen? I don't know. I don't know anything about him. He already served his time

That's doubled jeopardy. You can't get a second guy. Oh jeopardy bro. Only one guy paid the fine How can they both pay the how can they both pay off a hooker? That's only one guy fucking god damn hooker All women will pay for that for her transgressions against Against womankind against America against the state Trump just looks so sad and worn out. I thought some whore did this to you man. He lost a lot of weight though I think he's doing the ozempic as well. You think so? He's a lot skinnier He is I don't like it. He looks sick. I think it's a well He might just be getting old fat starts to run off you when you're old you're not eating as much

Oh, it does is you know you ever met a fat old person? No cuz they die. Yeah. Yeah, yeah not cuz it runs off Well, I also old people don't eat a lot. That's why they always have like senior fucking breakfasts, and it's like Cottage cheese and a slice of peaches or something. That's true. They don't eat a bunch anyway guys GameStop stock currently number That's true. They don't eat a bunch anyway guys GameStop stock currently number 471 with a hundred and seven up votes if you lost on GameStop stock make sure to vote it up Dick I got another problem from bonus episode 2 even GameStop Like 75 million new shares like you fucking cockswell if I was GameStop And all of a sudden my the price of my company is time six. It's like why not cash? And why don't I get to run a little scam?

Clearly all these fucking me to stop guys are getting in on some fucking something for the effort Everybody the first time around Come on man, everybody's fucking around. Why can't they fuck her? I would fuck around. They already did they had to do it again I just wish you guys could pick one of the meme stock companies I own I got a bunch of fucking Virgin Galactic sitting around. Can you guys pump that shit? It's still possible that they could bring that it's so cheap now. It's like a buck a share What the hell kind of sense does that make a virgin galactic? It's a little bit. I got a stock I got it's a dollar

A little bit. I got stuck. I got it's a dollar Check that out. Look, it's a long shot. The long shots are fun It's possible that space exploration and asteroid mining that they get a play a little part of it Bring a little platinum back to earth Never say never dick from bonus episode number two This is a problem. I think most of our audience is suffering from it's called having a small penis Oh, is that a problem? That is it. I was a problem we had on the show. That's a classic one Well guys, I have good news

Penis have I've got big news for all of you according to the New York Post penis filler treatments are a growing craze With tens of thousands of men maybe as many as millions of men choosing to have their penises injected with Hyaluronic acid that's lower. Let me write acid. No, no, they got it. You got to rename that That's what I heard it. I'm like Holy shit Haya Luronic you want to try and spell it no okay? Well do it Google do it where can I go get this it's gonna make my penis longer

It will increase the girth of your penis and hold on and add as much as two inches to the length What? It's happening. Hyaluronic acid is a chemical found in eye and joint fluid Which makes it more bio compatible than silicon and other implants. Can I get a woman's eyeball on my dick? Will that work, too? Your fucking eyeball. Squirtter eye juice up the shaft. Just fucking beat it out of her like a bear bile duct. Here's the problem is that you're going to need a lot of this stuff.

Prices range. No price is no object. From $11,000 to up to $20,000 for a full round of treatment. How long does that last? It goes up in cost depending on the number of injections. It can be... I want to inject it every single second of the day. Well, it can take up to 10 to 20 syringes

to get your dick to the proper size. $200,000? $200,000, no, $20,000. $20,000. Well, that's the whole thing? $20,000 for the whole thing. They're gonna inject 20 needles into your dick. I mean, probably the same needle 20 times. You know, you can go go all around a guy is gonna inject it into my dick or a guy is gonna inject it in your dick

How much more is it for a woman to do it? I would not trust a woman to put a needle in my dick cuz she doesn't know where what a dick is Trust, she knows. I'll know, I'll know if she knows. The guy only knows his own dick though unless it's a gay doctor. I don't know I saw a picture of an a you know what this article had an Asian guy smiling That's how I know it works because he looked very pleased with yourself Eagle-eyed don't look very pleased with himself Well, that's what they were using this is better

They're like if I eat donkey powder my dick will grow now we can inject acid into my penis inject acid into your penis And he kind of any kind of household acid, just try it out. Can Kevles help me out with this? Kevles will get you, you know, a couple things of a Draino and fucking windshield wiper fluid. Nah, she's got good stuff. She's got the good stuff. That's why everyone's so pissed at her. She's not making her dick bigger. She's making the dick smaller. She's going in reverse. So she's there for helping everybody out. Wait, Kevles has a dick, I'm pretty sure. No. Kevles confirmed that she had her dick cut off? I don't know.

She's getting the hospital like laying down and her dad's there some shit. Look. Okay. You looking at Kevles? You're seeing, you're sensing a penis there? I don't know. I don't think so, man. I mean she got the hundred thousand might as well chop off that dick. I mean she got the hundred thousand might as well chop off that dick Well the results begin instantly full effects will not be seen and felt. You got that hot Irish girlfriend. Remember her? I'm like, you know, okay. Shit. I got rid of my penis now. I really need it, right? That's the last thing you want. That's the last thing you want. You get stuck with a hot lesbian and you've chopped your dick off It's a terrible situation. Just saying don't you don't you agree? off. It's a terrible situation. Just saying. Don't you agree? I can't begin to empathize with the idea of having an open wound between my legs. So I don't know what to do with that

at all. And you can't drive, right? Can't drive. I hear about a lot of dull sensations. All I know, guys, is if you are going to inject acid into your penis, remember that intercourse is discouraged for 48 hours after the surgery. So don't take that acid dick and just put it in a lady. If my dick was big enough, I would never have sex again. No. Like what do I need you for? My dick's ten feet long. There you go. You don't need the validation.

I don't need any of those whores slobbering all over it. No. That's all I need. I kinda wanna try it. I mean you got your balls embig I was awesome maybe some dick and big and it would be a good time I'm not it's got to be called something different though. It can't be called acid Well, it's called penis filler treatment. You can invent whatever. It's called sounds too much like lip filler Now that's kind of was I think I'd be out and do name I think the idea was that it's similar to a Baja blast up my penis

Yeah, I'm gonna get that tropical surge I'm on that surge. Is that like when you go to the you go to the gas station got all those dick pills It's like ultra 100% gold jammer put it in the pocket and they're in like metal pills. Yeah, silver and gold Silver and gold guys having a small penis is currently number 41. It's in the top 50 But I think we might have to downvote it now that we have a solution. This might be a voting town situation I don't try I mean, it's still a big problem though That's the reason you gotta pay $20,000 because it is a big problem and men are paying out the ass to make it paying out the dick to make it a little bit bigger this has been voted up okay take care I'm a warrior, I'm a warrior, I'm a warrior

I'm a warrior, I'm a warrior, I'm a warrior Irritating, possible and a bad friend so judge-right The biggest thing you thought was a game, just ignore Post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it, post it hits 10,000. No, we already have a 10,000. We're not at 10,000. I'm saying 10,000 We already agreed to post the show the dueling show pitches Yeah, but that's not working people aren't people aren't paying for that Well, I don't care It's gotta be something good. We can talk about other ways to help. We're talking about right now What do you mean? What do you mean. We can talk about other ways to help people out. We're talking about right now. What do you mean we can talk about it?

What do you want to fucking try to Shanghai me off the- off camera? What are you doing? I'm reading an ad. Oh, okay. 40 minutes in. Today's episode I was gonna segue it. I thought I was gonna read the end. The mineral. No. You're not trustworthy. What do you mean? I do a great ad read.

You say everybody in a fucking comic that never got delivered And it never will be You have no credibility today's episode is brought to you by all for one treasure hunt every month a $10,000 cash prize is hidden somewhere in America. Oh, this is monthly Yes, the first person to find the treasure keeps the cash. It's free money. In the app, new clues appear every half hour to help you find it. Additionally, there are millions of side quests available all across America for you to compete minigames and special prizes.

The Hunt, a random player will win a mod-retro chromatic Game Boy console. I'm sure you- do you know what that is? I think that's a new thing that Palmer Lucky's putting together. Really? I might be wrong. That guy's ripping on Jason Calcanis, which I love. Yeah. He's a fucking fruit. I don't want to speak out of turn. I don't know Here's an exclusive clue for this hunt only for biggest problem the universe listeners while super killer might fail and Nikkrikita is While super killer might fail and Nick Ricketa is in jail

Pour yourself an ale and set sail where there are no whales to uncover the veil look for the quail That's the clue. That's the clue to find 10 grand. Download the all for one treasure hunt on both Android and iOS you finally get your fucking instructions at all for one dot cash The $10,000 treasure is up for grabs and the hunt just started the only thing standing between you and the treasure is greed Good luck, so that's a big clue The quail yeah, I already know where it is, but I'm not gonna go somebody messaged me They found I know about this app somebody messaged me that they knew where it was really but they needed somebody in that Area oh

To go yeah, I never I don't know I mean I was gonna say You know listeners of the show could form like a little group and share information Seems like the guys who win this thing are like little treasure hunting like cabals of guys Work together well you could start with LaBeouf's fucking art installation I would assume you guys can find some fucking. Superkiller might fail. I like that part. I don't like that part and I feel like ad reads should not be directed at

my projects. I feel like they could just talk about how great the product is. You could have just had your product out in December like you said. Not at my expense. And then this wouldn't be happening. What can you do? Okay? It's your problem I'm the big winner I'm the big big winner

dick We don't want that cat we had a little situation last Friday Uh-huh, I think we talked about it, but I feel we can go a little deeper into it. Oh, yeah So we were going to Vegas and one thing you should do if you're going on vacation at least I do is I Go to the USPS website the United States Postal Office and I put a hold on my mail and what that does is it tells the postman

To not bring mail and packages to my house because I will be out of town and I will not be there to Take them inside before the black teenagers come by or Asian teenagers any kind of teenagers. Teenagers see your package. Everyone already knows you think that. I mean it's LA what are you gonna say? Yeah. It is a lot of Hispanics are stealing the packages. Well your people are getting in on it. I've seen a couple whites. I'll just say package theft is a big problem in LA. You don't want it sitting outside your house So I set up the hold mail for Thursday And I was at home on Thursday, and then they brought me my mail and I said well that wasn't supposed to happen

So I missed the first mail guy, but then a second mail guy came by and I said hey I put a hold mail on this Why are you guys delivering the mail? He said oh, it'll be fine tomorrow mail on this, why are you guys delivering the mail?" And he said, Oh, it'll be fine tomorrow. And for some reason I believed him. Yeah, that's obviously not right. Well, and then I- But that doesn't know. Right.

You could have fucked it up. He doesn't know either way. That's the worst advice to give. Well, for some reason I trusted him. And then on Thursday I left. So I left for Vegas. Then I wake up on Friday morning and I I check my mail and it says good news Your package will be arriving today all the toys that you ordered. It's not toys. It's a magic cards I ordered about a thousand dollars worth of magic cards not for myself Kind of for myself, but not entirely it's's for me to sell on this Whatnot app. Please follow me on Whatnot at Vito Comedy. We've been having a lot of fun selling things.

Anyway, I go- You couldn't wait? Like, you knew that we were doing a show. You couldn't wait a couple days. They had a sale. They had a sale. Was the sale like a 10 minute sale? It was like a one day sale.

One day only. Yeah, I had to get in. I didn't anticipate that it would be delivered during the show and I also figured, well, I've put a hold on my mail many times in the past Yeah, clearly this will be a situation that can wreck. You know I just do that and it's simple. Yeah, that's fine then of course they deliver the thousand dollars worth of magic cards to my house and I had to call my good I had to text my good friend Digg Manchin who refused to pick up my phone calls for some stupid reason because man

I'm doing other shit. It's easy for me to just talk to you really quickly. It's easy for you. I'm doing other stuff. I don't want to be interrupted. You're retarded. Just pick up the phone. No, if you pick up the phone, you might get sucked into like a 10, 20 minute- I don't do that. And you got to be- anybody can cut off a conversation and just say you're doing something. Anyway, anyway I said can you go pick up my package and apparently it was a big problem even though you only live like half an hour from me well cuz it wasn't delivered yet you're like oh it's gonna be delivered today I'll tell you when it gets there yeah and then I got there you didn't miss it you got there

and it was already there yeah I left because it was there okay I'm sorry that I asked you for help. I mean, if something happened to you, I'd come over and I'd help you. These things don't happen to me though. I would ask the neighbor. Yeah, well, I heard you were neighbors. I know one of my neighbors, but I don't know if she still lives there. And the other neighbor, I don't have their fucking number or anything.

You gotta know your neighbors, man. I've thought about it. You gotta not, hey, what's up? I'm your neighbor. Yeah, you know. I don't know. I don't want to get too friendly with these people. Why? Well, cuz part of the problem is that one of them, one day I was like outside, she goes, hey you're Vito, right? And I went, yeah. She said I saw you on popcorn the planet

And I was like, oh, that's not good Why? That's not good. Well, cuz like if I do something like You know, let's say I I don't know So your neighbor knows who you are. Yeah What do you don't want to be like be friends with her because you're too good for her? You're better than her? I'm saying like Let's say something happens like I don't know I break away. I don't know what would happen what I don't really think I

Honestly, I don't know It's just one of those things break a window then what she's gonna like she's gonna go hey that guy is like you're like Let's say she's gonna report. I have a doing let's have a loud argument on the phone and she overhears it or something. She's gonna go straight to key. Oh, yeah, exactly Here's the thing is I live next to that guy and he was on the phone yelling at Dick Masterson Or you know a courier came to his house and dropped off a mysterious package Maybe it was drugs or something You are way too worried about this shit Yeah

I don't know Is that really why? No, I just, I'm just allergic to human Did you make all that stuff up about what she said about popcorn planet? No, she did say that about popcorn planet She did see me on the internet So they're aware that I'm like a human But you are uncomfortable about that

Not really, I don't know I thought it was actually kind of cool Then I'm like like, oh, that's cool. The show's getting around She has a she lives with her boyfriend or husband or something. Well, you know, I'm like no No, they're nice I've been meaning to give them a they're like gamers too. I've been meaning to give them a Sega Genesis Yeah, just like a hey, I got a bunch of these lying around if you guys want one. Okay, I Should make friends. I don't know. I'm just slow to do anything people move in and I'm like slow to say hi or anything I saw you on popcorn planet and you thought popcorn and you're like a snap like snap zoom like oh no You never know Let's see.

So here's the thing is that the US post office, I then call, you can't just call your post office for some fucking reason. They don't list their phone number anywhere. So I got out. How would you want to call them? To tell them to pick up, they're not deliver my mail. That's the only reason. So then I called the main post office people and they go, yeah, you're supposed to have a hold on that. That's pretty crazy, huh? I'm like kind of crazy

I'm gonna have a thousand dollars worth of shit sitting outside my house And they give me the phone number to the post office and wouldn't you know it just rings off the hook Nobody picks up. Why don't you have a PO box? I do have a PO box. Why don't you ship it there? I guess I I guess I because normally I'm home and I get a lot of stupid packages. So you elected to ship $1,000 of stuff to your house when you knew you'd be out of town around that time. I had a hold on the mail. It should have worked. And you bring up an excellent point

and we're gonna get into it. So my problem is the US Post Office, a very unprofitable venture for the United States. In quarter one of 2024, the US Postal Service reported a 2.1 billion dollar loss, which is double its one billion dollar loss from last year. So if we keep that up, we're just going to keep throwing money down the toilet.

Last year in 2023, they ended the year with a 6.5 billion dollar net loss. And this year they expect similar results. Not figuring out. You wanna get rid of them? Well apparently all the money, you know why they're all this money? Ads.

Ads. Wait wait, all this money what? Why all this money, why it's costing them so much money is uh. Cause what they do is retarded? Well there's two reasons. One is that for some reason the post office Is required to pan like a shit ton of money into Social Security like more than other governmental branches Yeah And all the postal workers are getting like crazy fucking a Social Security benefits for some reason they get a crazy package

So it's not even money that we're spending on making the mail service better. It's money We're spending on old former postal employees who are just sitting around thinking about making the mail service better. It's money we're spending on old former postal employees who are just sitting around thinking about all the mail they carried. They're getting big, big checks. One big problem that the USPS- You know when Democrats were like all about the post office, like during COVID?

Yeah. And they wanted to like, they wanted to make everyone buy stamps to support the post office. I don't remember that. Oh yeah. They were really pushing for it. You were buying stamps, you big stamp guy? No, I only buy stamps when I need them. I'm just fucking with you, I don't know.

Here's a big problem that has been happening. So you bring up the PO box, right? Yeah. That's a safe place for your package. I mean, I have a UPS store PO box. Okay, well that's probably a lot better Yeah, cuz one of the problems with the US Post offices. They've been using the same keys for about 70 years Oh, that's cool. And what's also cool is that people have realized you can just steal one of those keys and 3d print it

Those files I think are just widely available on the internet. Oh and those will master keys Those files I think are just widely available on the internet. Oh. And those will, Masterkeys, will unlock every PO box, every one of those apartment complex mailboxes, you know, the ones that swing open so they can put all the mail in those, and just the regular post boxes that you see on the other. And that's online? You can 3D print that, are you saying?

I think, yeah. Well, they're- Just warning people so you don't trust the post office with your shit. I think some of them are, you know, they're geographic based. They might be a little different from state to state or whatever. But apparently those files are floating around because they've just got all these photos of scumbags going up to PO Box and going, what's in here?

What's in here? That's great. Going to the apartment complexes, I mean, you can get everything. That whole box, it's everybody's mail swinging on open. The point is, I don't know if you've ever been in the post office, you just stand in line, it's a pain in the ass. The people who work in the post office are mean for no reason. Yeah, I mean, especially if they're making all this money.

I mean, I guess that I would assume- People always fuck up though. Like they come in with a pocket full of sand and shit from the beach. They're like, here, can I'm like here. Can I mail this? How would I mail that? I get that the majority of the people you're dealing with are probably complete morons, but Man like it's also impossible to know how much Anything is to ship anything. Yeah, that's well ever since I discovered that online shipping that can actually estimate it for you But you'll go in with like a tiny thing You're like, oh this will cost nothing and then they go like that'll be 70 dollars. Yeah, 70 dollars

How the fuck does that happen? My one time with the post office I used to get driven nuts when I used to go and I say hey How do I send this money to Israel right and they say oh that'll be now be That'll be right on And they say, oh, that'll be, surprisingly, that'll be $300. Like, oh, man, I can't even get the money. Where's Trump when I need him? The meanest guy at my local post office, I saw a nice family, and they come in,

and they're like, we have to get the passport. We have to get the passport. He's like, you need three forms of identification. I can't help you. And I'm like, just tell them normally. When I lived in Oakland, the worst was that they had a wig. They have two different types of autism at the post office You get angry autism. Yeah, and like just like Rain Man autism

Yeah, like the guy that will help you with anything and then the other guys post office is really unsecure Have you ever driven to the back dock to just drop off packages? Yeah, okay, you just dump them in a bin Yeah, then anyone can access. And there's no one there. It's just a bunch of crap. What do you- I finally went to the- I recently went to the post office and I'm like, I guess I'll drop these packages at the back dock.

And there was a sign that said, due to rampant package theft, please do not drop your packages in this bin anymore. Okay. Yeah. And then you look in, you could just go to the post office and just hang out. There's no one in there. Hang out? Yeah. I went to- I go to the post office and just hang out. There's no one in there. Hang out? Yeah, I went to the back dock and I'm looking in because I had a question.

I'm like, which bin do I put it in? And I just look in and there's fucking no one in there and the doors are unlocked. And I'm like, I could just go into the post office and just start stealing mails, start fucking around. I mean, you can do crimes that are not felonies. You can just go steal from stores. There should be a guy No, it doesn't need to be any more expensive than it is. Well, whatever Anyway guys the US Post Office. It's losing money. All the keys are getting to the hands and they're due Wells yeah, and your packages are being stolen from the back door. Mm-hmm, and they're mean

Mean people. I do miss when they would just kill each other though and kill all their... That was cool. What are you talking about? When they, remember going postal. When all the postal guys just hated their lives so much. Yeah, that was fun.

Now all the trans people are doing that. Stop it. That's horrible. What? What do you mean the trans people? Oh, they're not killing each other. I mean, I don't People

Killing each other it was one person Person gunning down a bunch of people the trans people are not doing that. Yeah, they are The shooters how many of the last shooters were trans like two That's a pretty odd. That's a pretty long odds don't you think? I don't know. What are the odds are gonna be two trans shooters doing a shooting? Pretty low. Well it's gonna be a non-zero number. I do want that manifesto. I want to know exactly what they're mad about. Women? Everything. Not having a dick. That's what's all women's problems since the beginning of time. Not having a dick. Oh wow hey this trans guy's real pissed off.

Some of them still have a dick. And they're mad anyway. Trans men? No they don't. What are you talking about? The last one was a trans man. Was it a trans man? You don't know at all what you're talking about.

You're just all shy about trans shit. I'm not shy about trans shit, I'm just not meticulously tracking. You're playing the mass meticulously tracking. You're playing the mass shooter lotto, you're doing one of our problems. Trans, trans, trans, trans, trans! You're going, ah, let's see who's on the board. Trans, black, black, black, black, black, trans. Big money, no lambies, come on, not a white guy. I like that game though. Not a white guy, I know you do, it's a bad game. It's not a white guy, it's a white lady. White trans guy. Who didn't have a penis. It is. Lippin' out, obviously, I think penises

are great. I'd be that upset too if I didn't have a penis. I think penises are great I'd be that upset too if I didn't have a penis but illegal still it was pretty interesting when it was a trans man shooter because you go you don't know you know normally I guess I guess you become a man and then you're struck with the desire for violence like kind of it kind of reinforces the trans narrative. That's cute that you were a man all along. Yeah, you know testosterone gets in you like I gotta go kill some people I just want to see how she parked or he parked at the school Right. I'm gonna go do this fucking relays. I'm gonna go do this school shooting. I'm a trans man I'm pissed off about the I was sold a lie about this penis

I saw the whopper ad but I'm stuck with a fucking. Oh shit my flies down It's funny. He had a car bomb and he wanted to park it in front of the school, but couldn't parallel park I do a band in that part of the school for weeks All these spots are too damn small, and it's like you know the size of a bus Oh, man, I could never fit my fuckin' Miata, my Subaru in there. He was thwarted by a parallel parking car. My lesbian car that I drive as a man. Couldn't find a spot.

Why, I don't know. And you think of a trans man shooter comes in, you're like, oh, amazing, I have a football. Like, there's a guy, there's a dude comin' in, I'll just toss him a football, instinctively he'll reach out and grab it, right? Perfect spiral. Oh shit, a football? Fuck this this shooting and you throw it at him

and then it's just like donk. What was that for? Your last sound's like, what the fuck? What kind of guy wouldn't toss a pigskin around? Can I just say something about this show? Where else? What? I'm just saying where else do you get

this kind of commentary? I'm just saying. There is no other podcast that's going. I just wanna see the parking. The thing about the trans shooter is she couldn't park her car. I don't podcast that's going on. I just wanna see the parking! The thing about the trans shooter is she couldn't park her car. I don't care about the manifesto. I get it.

He couldn't catch the football. I have a dick. Might not be as good as the one scientists can make you. But... That tube, who knows? It can do anything. I'd be pissed if I didn't have a tube. I'd be that pissed too.

Can you make the tube... Fuck these kids. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Can you make the two kids? I want my dick When they make the tube do you get to decide how long the tube is? Yeah, how much of your flow I'm gonna say is it just based on like leg length? T-Rex comes in and is like aw man T-Rex wants a sex change right? Could you do that in your stand? Is that burning material? I want to I want to know the average length of the trans penis. T-Rex wants sex and he goes, Alright! I'm gonna be a real guy! Arrrgh!

Right? I'm a T-Rex, right? He comes to the doctor and he goes, I wanna be a real man! Yeah! Just like I always felt! They're like, alright, how long's my dick gonna be? And the doctor's like, Well, it's actually, Mr. T-Rex, it's, we use this, we harvest the skin from your forearm.

And the T-Rex goes, Arrrgh! T-Rex it's um we use this we harvest the skin from your forearm and the tear goes Use that in your material. That's a good one. That's a thinker. That's a fucking good I got I understand. Super Chad, if you like that joke. If you like that joke, Super Chad. Carl Spitalia was telling a joke at the Josh Jeneconi especially. He talked about the tube penis and those two

fucking valley bitches were sitting next to me going, is that really how they do it? God, that fucking oh my God. They're talking the whole fucking show Honey, will you shut the fuck up? No, they can't do it. You're so hot You just do whatever you want comedians. Let you do whatever you want, right? But that's why the joke work is the the modern American consumer does not know how the penis is made You think with all this trans shit they would improve like penis making technology

I think you would give them like a robot penis at this point you know like a prosthetic fucking metal ramrod. Problem is they got the shit doctors working on it. All the good doctors are doing like heart shit and brain shit and all the doctors that are crappy are like oh yeah I'm gonna do like trans shit. Can't we get a Terminator penis and just wrap it in like artificial skin? You're joking. I'm not joking. You're joking about it. But I'm saying, can't you, you can just connect the nerves and you have like a cool fucking robot penis. No, no, no, no, no, no. You can press a button to make it erect, you can press a button to put it back down. Here's my problem.

Girl bosses. GBs. Yeah, GBs. We all, we all all hate them right? What is a girl boss anyway? Just walks in like John Wayne swinging her dick around Never had to think a lot of talk about women with dicks this episode. I gotta say I Read it. I read Yira today. Yeah, wow, it's dog shit Right for shit They really can't they can't write no. No concept of rising action, falling action, suspense, motivation. I've realized that,

cause I remember when I first heard that he hired the Soska sisters, I said, ah, a bunch of liberal douchebags. They could probably write. Turns out no. They could just piss in each other's mouth. I realized that first of all, horror is the most easy entry levellevel genre for anyone because you just

go in you put a bunch of blood on shit and you fuck around people go yeah that's fine yeah what's the motivation? Bleh! A bunch of blood! Oh shit! Yeah I get it! Also they're not people who had to prove themselves with good writing all they had to do was have a gimmick. You're lesbians. Well they have a gimmick. What if there was two spooky witch ladies? I don't even think they're twins, honestly.

Look at them. Yeah. One looks like a monster movie. Right? You know the one. I know. One looks like stretched out Beetlejuice when they're stretching out their faces.

One of them's, yeah. Very hocus pocus. No offense. If you've seen that movie. Oh yeah. Yeah. One of them was a little more witchy. So reading this, I went, wow, this is the most unnatural, just terrible dialogue.

Girlboss shit. Right? I'm coming in, I'm gonna fight anybody in this town, it's just a series of swaggering in. Let's go, let's fucking fight. And then fighting. I was ready to have principles. And then quipping your way out of it. I was ready. Tango and cash, but not any good. No. I was gonna take a principled stand if it was good

I was gonna go well, that's good, and then people would go Oh see veto is a very fair and balanced reviewer, but now I have to go. Oh, no, it's just shit I'm sorry and everyone's gonna go. I'll see he's just biased against the rep of earth I wanted one where I could go now that one's pretty good, but I still don't have eager to betray Betray who? Me it's possible to make a good comic. It's very possible. It's not like an impossibility to make a good comic.

It's not possible for Eric Jalai to make a good comic. He didn't even really make it. He's paid some ladies to make it. He hired them. He hired everyone. He assembled a team of seemingly competent people and hired them for the wrong thing. Well, you know the Soskas are the- Total retarder jamming a square peg in the triangle hole a round peg in the dad hole He you know, the sasca's are the keepers of the lore for the rep reverse

So they're like the overseeing architects of the entire Well Yaira sucks it's a bunch of explosions happening like Like Michael Bay in South Park talking about a movie where no one has any reason to do anything and there's no explanation for anything. It was a really hard read. And all their names are... it's like what a black person thinks Norwegian people name their name people.

Well there was Yenessa, Which is just Vanessa with a Y. Like imagine Anfernee coming up with already we got like you're Medabedur But the sweetest Bergen. What's your name? Like Hannes Bergen? What's your name? Honsjokken? Like okay now Let's hear a black person do it. Oh, man. It's much more goofy There's a thing in the black community where they'll take like an existing name and just change the first letter for some reason Yeah, like Fomali. Yeah, I've heard that one. Yeah You know La Dasha La Dasha Lashonda. Yeah a lot of love Listerine um Well no refunds. I guess if you paid I can't I can't I can't $35

I can't believe these people are defending this this girl boss shit Ira kills a guy for getting catcalled Well, you know what I I understood it was like a prison riot, right? What happened? This is like whole M. She you thing Everyone hey, oh these girl bosses are ruining Star Wars and all this shit. Yeah, bye. Eric July's comic. It's got a big seven foot tall woman that She's got abs and I was asking like do you ever see Wonder Woman's abs? It's kind of unattractive on a lady. You see her eyes, you know?

Eyes and her tits. There's a lot of tits, like the emphasis... Maybe her thighs. Okay, I know you say that comics need big boobs, but like they have to look like boobs. They don't look like boobs in this comic. They look like a microwave potato.'t look like boobs in this comic. They look like a microwave potato. It looks like they're big potatoes shoved into it.

Yeah, two giant, one of those big size softballs. They look like hamburger buns. And the bottom ones, not the big ones. The bottom ones that are like, wah. They're not attractive in a way that I want to jerk off to Yaira. They're like, oh, oh my god. There's a shot of Yaira in it look like tits at all in a cryogenics chamber yeah recuperating and I they covered up they covered

up the tits yeah well for me the biggest revelation of uh yeah the biggest revelation of Yaira and I found this very interesting yeah remember we watched that trailer? Mm-hmm. Okay, remember in the trailer the evil lady? Yeah. Is lying on the ground? Stefania. And her right arm is just like on the ground the whole time. That's right, I remember you saying this. And I'm like, why is she in that pose? It's a very weird pose. By the way, in the comic, in the comic, this is like quintessential girl boss, in the comic the little girl gets gets her superpowers like in the X-Men intro in Cyclops gets powers, she's like, oh fuck I got my powers for the first time, right?

Yaira shows up for no reason out of nowhere, tries to kill her. For no reason. And then says, who are you and where did you get these powers? And then it's implied that she's a descendant of Yira right from cuz Yira's like a Highlander So she's she fucked a guy a long time ago, and I guess she has a million kids and they're all Yeah, I don't know if she's been fucking guys in the Highlander It's kind of cool thinking of a Connor McCloud fucking all these whores right and making like a progeny Well, they never established in Highlander the way you get your Highlander powers

So much shoots you in the leg which which is our powers appear and you're like It's kind of weird. Maybe she could find like something some ancient I don't know whatever sure she gets shot in the leg and the shock of it makes her have ice powers Yeah, and then Yara says up kills her and then says who are and then when the killing doesn't work That's a trope in like a lot of fiction where I go Look, I know it's a superhero thing and Wolverine has to fight the Hulk even though it's a misunderstanding But this is clearly one of the same little girl She has no reason to show up and try to kill she says she tried to kill that girl. Yes

Well, you you try to knock me out. No, that was a death blow. Oh, oh, why do you want to kill her for? What reason she just got her powers? Be friends, you don't know. She's the only person on the planet that has something in common with you. Point is, so I remember in the trailer, I was like, what are these fucking people running from? What is happening? What is the problem?

It's just a girl on the ground in this weird pose. And then you read the comic, and there's fucking ice shit shooting everywhere. And that girl has created a bunch of ice under her that she's like stuck to now. And I go- They ran out of money. You were right.

They ran out of money or time. You were right. Yeah. I remember thinking that's so stupid, Vito, that you would say that. I said that maybe footage was missing, but it wasn't that footage was missing, it's that-

Ran out of budget. They originally planned to get a CGI guy to put a bunch of ice effects. Yeah Which shouldn't be that expensive Yeah I mean Eric probably blew all their money taking that one Soska sister out on the town or he blew it all on making a documentary about his unfinished trailer that is missing special effects blatantly Yeah

Test one, one, two. There, there, there. It seems to me that it might have been that he was launching the Yaira campaign, and he said, I definitely need this stupid live action trailer to kick off the campaign, and I don't care if it's unfinished.

And that was a big mistake. I would have just been like, let's release that the live-action trailer is like verbatim in the comic Now that's kind of his thing for some reason sucks His thing is that anything that it appears in live-action has to have appeared exactly in the comic the dialogue is almost one for one There was one change still two weeks ago. It's still two weeks ago. We still haven't gotten up to the present day Still we're still because the car collision happens in the beginning No, no, no the car collision happens in ISOM after two weeks. This is later. Oh really? Yeah, this is later Well, I think this is after ISOM drops on a car. That's because I'm so stupid I didn't understand. Well, it's very confusing I can't believe that trailer was supposed to have ice shit everywhere.

It would have been better. It would have been cooler. It would have made way more sense. Like remember those crowd shots where you're like, this is really empty. It's just like a long shot. It would have been more interesting too. With nothing going on. If there was a bunch of ice on the sides of the shit, I'm like, oh you were going to obscure that originally. But you just didn't do it? It's pretty easy to put ice shit into you could just draw it Like look put some cellophane in like a green screen. I've used after effects

I'm not that good at it, but I'm pretty sure that I could just track the scene Create like this ice looking thing in 3d space It would look like dog shit, but at least it would be there. And I'm not good at After Effects at all. It sucked. The writing was bad. The girl boss shit is way, way over the top. Yaira pulling lighters out of her asshole. Blowing up an oil field. Blowing up an oil field where it turned out Isam's sister's husband worked on an oil field. No, no, that was different that I also got confused by that Her husband worked at an oil field didn't you know that oil field though, so that doesn't matter

There's people working on the bus. I was saying I was like you might have killed. Oh, yeah Click boom like bitch there was guys fucking those there's a guy in that there's a guy in a jiff doing that shit You know I did for a second. I thought yeah, I Tony's husband. But while Derek's working I know there's guys there. There's gotta be a guy there. You just fucking blew it up for no reason you dumb bitch. Because you didn't know that. Because you just think everything appears out of nowhere magically and then nobody has to work for anything. Did a man make that? If so I don't acknowledge it. It was surprisingly bad. Bad writing by amateurs. It never should have got out of the outline stage. There's no motivation for anything.

It feels totally empty and hollow because there's no ability to connect to any of the characters. The bad guys are a bug man who wants to eat Yaira weirdly. Yeah, and then Zod and a lady Zod. And some space cops that want their police work recognized, but they want to kill her too. That was another thing that was not explained was, is this like a cosmic coincidence where the second that girl vomited a space laser into space, also Zod and Lady Zod were just floating outside Earth. Have they been staking them out? Yeah, where did they come from?

Like Paul Newman? What's going on here? There's a lot. okay, there's a lot that doesn't make sense. There's a lot in the comic where you need like a scene where they're on their planet and they go, hey, we've sensed Yaira's energy signature, we have to go to Earth. We gotta go.

Instead of you're one panel of them just floating in space and you're like, have they been there the whole time? Maybe if Eric wasn't so busy trying to fuck that one Soska sister, he could have put some of this in and thought with his brain instead of his dick and put some of this good stuff in his fucking $35 90 page comic that should read like a movie, but it doesn't maybe if that were the case He could do it, but he fucking can't a little too long

90 pages. Oh Yeah, it's night. Is it 90 pages. Yeah, I got to the I got to the final third I was like once the diamond monsters showed up. I'm like, I can't track this at all What's going on here? You already got three guys you're fighting. Do they really need to manifest diamond monsters right now? Just have her fight the regular guys. Why is she so hung up on this old husband? No, you're saying nobody fuck Back shit. I was like, why is this occurring in the middle of a fight scene? Why did Yaira land on earth out of a space fireball immediately fucked the first guy she sees? She's never fucked anybody before she doesn't have no kids before Did you notice how she prayed?

At her age she's thousands of years old she's never fucked anybody ever She did pray at one point but uh to the viking god or something I don't know if that was supposed to be the Christian god They made it seem like it was the one true God. Yeah, I know it would have been for yeah I was getting a little religious at a point weirdly weirdly really tails religion Yeah, I started being like is he is he starting to put Jesus in this is pranked. She's she's praying to the one true God I think the idea me her planet didn't have any God It's gonna be one of those things where you know all gods are the one true God. I think the idea- You're telling me her planet didn't have any gods? It's gonna be one of those things where, uh, you know, all gods are the one god.

They've just been reinterpreted in numerous ways. So we're finally getting our- Yeah, gay. We're finally getting our religious aspect of the rip-iverse, which is very exciting. Women. Women are the- Women are what they're worshiping. If you're doing a complicated, messy fight scene, don't cut to Viking times. And then back and forth.

And then back and forth. I'm already having trouble being like okay. There's a volcano and two magic guys There's a bug guy shooting little bug guys. Everything's a black name for a Scandinavian like Yainis Yainis and then it cuts that's not a Scandinavian name like your Yorgen Yorgen is a Scandinavian. And then they cut. Yo her name's yo enos and yo vis and new mit and then her husband Gives her a magic sword, but then she gives her husband a different magic sword Girl boss shit

It's pretty good girl boss shit. Nothing makes sense good stuff All right girl boss shit Right, girl boss shit. Oh yeah, nothing. I hate that. Well, Dick, you're talking about perhaps Eric July's judgment was clouded by his intense horniness towards... He wants that pussy!

He wants that puss. She's cute. I want that pussy too. Oh, the other one? Yeah, the other one. Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! It's so mean. It's it's so mean that this compliment about me and I'm complementing her you're complimenting one of them so at the expense of the other one so they're both very strong powerful women together yeah well it's interesting how that seems to

lead perfectly into my next problem, which actually relates to a recent news story. If you can bring up my Twitter, I'd love to show you this photo. That's my favorite thing to do every day. An American Airlines flight attendant who authorities say tried to secretly record video of a 14 year old girl on Monday pleaded not guilty to two counts in federal court in Boston. Estes Carter Thompson III was indicted last month on one count of attempted sexual exploitation of children and one count of possession of images of child sexual abuse depicting a pre-pubescent minor.

Police alleged Thompson, 36, of Charlotte, North Carolina had recordings of four other girls ages 7, 9, and 14 all using aircraft lavatories. Now, this man was using a secret camera to record, he's a flight attendant to record girls in the bathroom. This, wait a minute, this is your intro to this problem? Yeah. Okay, okay keep going Well, this is a man who was clearly when everyone to mark this moment in their brains what this is ahead This is a perfect go ahead. Yeah, okay. Yeah Because this man was clearly very horned up and he wanted to prey on these children

Uh-huh, and he, I want to record them secretly. So here's what I'll do, here's my brilliant plan, is of course we all have recording devices. Don't say we, don't say we when you're doing this. Have a phone, we all have a phone. Who did you mean when you said we all have recording devices? We all have recording devices.

Don't do this. And he said, well, I can use that, of course, to take imagery of these girls, these underage girls. I want to show you his ingenious plan. Have you seen this? Yeah, yeah, we did this on my show. Okay, well, here's what he said is that this young girl needed to use the bathroom. Unfortunately, the first class lavatory was, or the regular lavatory was occupied, so he said, well, let me take you to the first class lavatory, and then he said, hold on,

there's a problem in the bathroom, the toilet seat's broken. Also, let me just go in there, I gotta wash my hands real quick. After I wash my hands, you can use the toilet. So this girl goes into the bathroom and this is what she sees this is of course a

Yeah, it's a phone taped to the toilet With that he's written seat broken whatever the fuck that means on a sticker Yeah seat broken whatever the fuck that means on a sticker yeah and his lights on there's a light on his phone to record on a blurry young on a blurry pussy pic right lighting you gotta have the light on pictures after he left the teen entered the bathroom saw these stickers and the phone and of course went and reported it to the plane authorities and to her parents and now this man is facing charges.

Firing Trump. Well. We can just kill him. Very possibly. So Dick, this is what I would call horny logic. If Trump came out and said, hey, that guy that took the girl, if you elect me, I'll personally kill him. I'll kill him.

Then I would say, okay, forget all the Israel stuff, I'm in. You got me, I'll kill him then I would say okay forget all the Israel stuff Yeah, I'm in you gotta give me you gotta give me something man. You gotta give me something You gotta give me something you gotta give me something. I'm killing all the pedophiles might be a good platform And kill ten of them So again, I would call this Horny logic this man was horny for some reason. Okay. And he said, well you know what I should do, and this will work perfectly, is affix my phone with stickers that say the seat is broken. No, that'll work! Cause he's horned out of his mind and coming up with

terrible horny plans. Let me tell you why what you're doing is so bad. Why? Because you are weirdly associating horniness with his lust for taking pictures of 10 year old girls. Well I would assume that this is the same logic that anybody who hides a spy camera in a bathroom uses. No one- there are like guys who put spy camera in a bathroom uses. Uh, no one- There are, like, guys who put spy cameras in, like, their Airbnbs. There was that guy who famously had a hotel where he installed a bunch of stuff so he could be in the attic and just watch people have sex.

You're, uh, you're- The people you're using for examples of horny logic are not things that people can identify with. That's the problem. They don't need to identify with it. Horny logic is like getting married. Like making a fool of yourself because there's a really hot girl and you're like over-promising. I think it's being so horny up that you commit a vile sex crime and think you're going to

get away with it. Yes, but you shouldn't be horny. You shouldn't be thinking about horniness about taking pictures of a nine-year-old girl's pussy. You're saying the root problem is pedophiles. I'm saying that this is a really terrible example to bring in for horny logic when there's, I mean literally billions of other examples.

There are billions of other examples. Bill Cosby, that's horny logic. But he committed crimes as well. And his logic was I'll bring girls over for a script reading and then give them a special juice and they fall asleep and their pants are on backwards and they'll never say anything. That's still rapist logic. Horniness doesn't make you do that. Rapist logic makes you do that.

Rapists, I assume, are horny. That is a very feminist thing to think. Look, I'm saying that horny logic is a thing that yes, people can identify with and it can get to the point. Like helping a girl move. Helping a girl move, breaking your back, helping her move, you know? Right. Letting her sleep at your house. I'm saying that rapists are in sex criminals.

Polyamorous relationship with her and her broadcaster husband. That's horny logic, right? Not kidnapping and raping little girls. That's not horny logic. I think it's a bad girls. That's not horny logic. I think it's a bad example. It's a very bad example. Okay, horny logic is thinking you're gonna get away with the sticker with the cell phone, okay? But he did.

He didn't. Well, he did a couple times. He did a lot of times. Well, horny logic would also be telling yourself, man, this is a real bad thing I'm doing and I need to stop. But he didn't think that, because again, he's running on horny logic no I'm just saying he's running on pedophile logic I don't know straight out pedophile well pedophiles I assume would be horny I this is a no it's it is way worse it's different I would not I would not conflate the two. Okay.

I don't consider pedophile logic in the same universe as normal horny logic. I'm overextending myself, because for a woman I wanna fuck. There is normal horny logic, okay? But clearly, this attempt at like, a secret Rube Koldberg fucking device of life. Maybe if it was like a woman with big tits, right?

Even then though That's kind of like rape I'm gonna go in and wash my hands and then put a bunch of stickers up with messages on them Look, I don't know. All right. Well if this was if it was a grown woman you would understand what I'm saying It would be closer, but it's still not I don't think that's horny logic It was happening to a grown. I think you would agree that that it's obviously much worse Eric you lie leaving in the clips of him rubbing this oscar sisters back. That was horny logic, right? There's a lot of examples of horny logic. Okay. I just brought in a recent news story because I thought this was so truly ridiculous But you thought it was horny logic. I think that you would hope that this guy would go. Oh my god I have a sickness. I'm horny for these underage whatever,

and clearly instead of coming up with crazy plans. But you see, I don't know that they are. You think they're just doing it because they want to like, abuse or whatever? I think most, I don't think most pedophiles are doing it because they're horny for kids, I think they have like a sick compulsion. Well we can get off this,

we don't have to just talk about this. But it's so much funnier that you brought this in. It's so, it's such a big mistake. No, that guy is the big mistake. I don't know, man. It was a recent news article that I found interesting. I found it like truly absurd and crazy. And I said, that's a guy who had a bad plan.

What about like fucking a dog? Is that horny logic? He had a very bad idea. Is fucking a dog horny? Probably yeah! That's horny logic. That's saying no one's ever gonna find out that I fucked my dog. For a man I mean. No one's gonna find out if I spread peanut butter or whatever. There's a lot of people making bad decisions.

Okay, the point is there's a lot of people making bad decisions. What about the Q-tips? The cat Q-tips? Is that horny logic? That was not horny logic because I did not get off on that at all. I did want get off on that at all. I Did want to say that uh, well another form of horny logic is that I went to the strip club recently Oh, yeah, and out of there with any money. No, I did not well. I got a little bit lucky I'm not gonna say who was there cuz I don't know if that's my privilege. I wouldn't do that Well, I'm not saying it. All I'm saying is This girl was grinding up on me. I told me what you know, like people do you I said no

That's that's a good assessment. Yeah Look, I always know I love talking to strip reasons. They always they have to know people like right away I paid this girl for a dance. I enjoyed it was very nice And then she started being like we got to go in the private room. We got to go in the private room. And I told her, I told her, I'm like, I don't think I want to go to the private room. How much is the private room? She said $300. And I said, I said, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, going in the private room. Man. But then somehow she gets me to my feet. I guess I'm like negotiating it. I'm like, you got anything cheaper? And she's like, yeah, just come along. Just come along. And then I was like, listen. You know, I was like, listen, there is no way. There's no universe in which I'm paying $300 for the private room. Yeah, cut to.

And then, well, cut to me in the private room. I'll say the difference is that thankfully a friend paid for it. So I said, I said, well, I said if I'm not paying for it, but I should have honestly. Now I feel like I'm like, you know, I should have just said, no, don't pay your money for this. Like, because as we were doing like fucking wimpy from Popeye a little bit. Yeah, you get I'll gladly play Tuesday for a lap dance today because we got in there and like she agreed to a reduced rate of like 200 bucks. I'm like, well, that's fair.

Wheeling her down. And then as she's give you a game, she's grinding on me. She goes, I want a tip of a hundred dollars. And I'm like, well, that would just make it the normal price. It feels like that's not correct at all. And as I tipped her like fucking 40 bucks, which I shouldn't have even tipped her and then she was all mad at me You know I've never been afraid of a trans woman taking money from me. Yeah, no weird The worst part was after I pay for it I go no matter what she's gonna be mad at me at the end because I didn't give her enough money

I'm like so I'm paying for a lady to be mad to pretend to like me and then reveal her true feelings at the end What the money's give her enough money. So I'm paying for a lady to pretend to like me and then reveal her true feelings at the end. That's what the money's for. Yeah, to pay her to act nice. Yeah, I know you don't want to be nice to me or do any of this stuff, but you're doing it for the money. That's just the entire appeal of this. That's awful.

It's terrible. I mean, it's legal. What are you talking about? $300 bucks, Jesus Christ. Well, again, I didn't pay for it. I would not pay for it. Yeah. That's a lot of money. I could buy some GameStop stock with that. Well it could be worse. It could be...

It could be worse. It could be taping phones to toilets. Alright, is that your problem? I think that's my problem. I don't know why you had to make it all weird. I just brought up a recent news article. Well that's a fucking weird example of horny logic! It's not a weird- well yeah, it's a weird example! There's a lot of weird examples! There's a lot of sex criminals! Spending a thousand bucks at strip club, yeah that's horny logic.

Mmm, yeah. Trying to record girls without their knowledge is horny logic. No, that's a fe- that's like a- The guys who sneak into like the locker room to try and steal panties. That's that's uh, whatever Remember when that that trans guy was in the fucking ladies bathroom at the Horny logic horny logic. Yes, it's going God. I really wish I could be a big boob bimbo slut I'm gonna take a bunch of hormones and get you know, chop my dick off and you know, I don't think you're running on full full brain logic

here you just got to gather up all the pre-op trans men and then we got to have a chat with them you know take a good look at this penis some of them I'm sure are having a real good time you're never gonna have this fucking thing all right take a good look at it. I mean, I don't know about you. What they're selling you is not, I wouldn't buy it. If I lost this penis, I would not go buy one from these quacks that are telling you,

they're selling you whatever. Would you? I, obviously not. I cannot identify with not having, having a penis is pretty good. It's the only way to go. The thought of having a wet hole between my legs that my pee just gets all over. You know, here I can control the stream, it goes everywhere.

I'd imagine a vagina, you gotta like kinda, you gotta maneuver it. You're always cleaning down there. What do I got, a sandwich down here? Fucking... That's why circumcision... Sandwich that nobody wants to eat. That's why circumcision has its benefits. There's less to clean up. Well you got shit coming out the top of your head. I know. I'm already dealing up top.

Why do I have to deal with? I got one head I got to deal with. Alright, my problem is hour-long meetings. I'm just gonna read. What are we, an hour and a half? Alright. Hour-long meetings. Right? What's the point of them? Why are they all an hour? I don't know. Every meeting. Let's block an hour? Why are they all an hour? I don't know. Every meeting, let's block an hour off. Let's block an hour. Get down to it. Well, you don't always.

How about we do 10 minutes? It's just cause Google's automatic, like everything uses a default hour to schedule a shift. Do they stretch it out? No, having, well, to fill an hour? No, I'm saying when you're in the business meeting, does it feel like everybody's just stretching out their words?

Nobody's paying attention at all. I haven't been in a business meeting in a long time. Oh, you haven't? No, what would the business meeting be? What about your super killer shit? You don't have conference calls? I just discord. No, I discord. What am I gonna do? I don't speak Spanish. That guy's running all my shit through Google Translate and half the time he goes, what's that? You want the main character to have dicks for nipples?

And I'm like, no, no, no, no, that's for the other comic. Are you making the tits bigger at least? The tits are a perfect size. No, they gotta get, they better get bigger as the comic goes. I think you fucked me, cause I told them to make the boobs bigger and now they're a little too big. And I can't rein it back in.

Perfect, perfect, perfect. They're getting a little too big. The average employee attend- wait a minute. 91% of meeting attendees admit to daydreaming and 73% admit to multitasking during meetings. It's like being in school. It is like being in school. All this Zoom shit. We were all in school. Shouldn't everyone know like, hey, this is the worst possible way to convey information. Yeah! Somebody at the front just says stuff. Yeah. This is terrible. This is the worst possible way to convey information. Yeah. Somebody at the front just says stuff. Yeah. This is terrible.

This is dumb. Why do all of you want to have your camera, why doesn't everyone turn their camera off? Why do you want to be on camera so bad? Yeah, why do I have to see your face? So you can sneak in other tabs while you're supposed to be paying attention to someone telling jokes and then guilting people

for not laughing even though everyone's on mute. The Zoom meeting's gotta be a, everyone's doing something else, right? Yeah. I go on podcasts and I'm just playing Magic Cards the whole time. On meetings? Yeah. Well, no, cause it'll be like the podcast, I'm just like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Out of 19 million meetings observed, the ineffective meetings cost up to $400 billion in the US of people's time a lot of wasted time You got how much money we could Israel could do so much with that 400 billion dollars how many times do we got to bring up Israel? This is gonna be the show What happened to them is an atrocity Bring it up Israel? What happened to them is an atrocity.

I feel like the last ten shows. It's important to bring it up every day, all day. Alright, I got it. We should never forget what happened to Israel and why they're to be celebrated. I'm gonna get a little chart and it's gonna be the Dick brings up Israel count. It's not enough. It's not enough for what's happening. I'm sick of talking about Israel.

Where were you on October 7th? I'm sick of talking about Israel. Where were you the second or third time they found the same dead body that Hamas abducted? I get it. I get it. It's never enough. I get the bit. It's never enough. Great bit. 60 billion in the UK. I love when we have these silences. That's more money than wasted on meetings than the GDP of Iceland. Wow, how about that? That's where Yair is from. That's where Yaira's from. That's where Yaira's from.

Because she has her ice powers. Yaira's from before she fell in love with Texas. Yeah. Tried to kill the only person who shares her powers and could be an ally. And that, wasn't that weird? For no reason. It was very weird.

If someone showed up with like my hair, I wouldn't go try to kill them. If they showed up with my exact powers, I would go, I'm going to get to the bottom of this. It's a bit bottom of this a bit odd not I need to punch this bitch for no reason I gotta go kill her Obviously a little kid what yeah well yeah I was the whole book is like I was like kind of supposed to be a good person like now I'll try to kill that lady

She tried to kill that lady right away and already by the way, her first scene, she murders a security guard. Yeah. Actually, I got a real problem with security guards. Oh yeah, wait, they did murder. She shoots a security guard. She did that? Yes. Well, I thought so.

I'd have to reread it. If she's doing a break-in and she kills a security guard. Yeah, they have. Stefania. Yeah, she's a bad lady. With the girl boss hairdo, with her shaved head. Why does Alpha Corp not like Yaira? What did she do?

I don't know. They don't say. Nobody who doesn't like Yaira says what she did. We never see her do something other than drop ISOM on a car. Did you kill millions of people? OK, I would understand. I would understand. Yeah, you kind of need to set up that conflict.

Did you deny the Holocaust? That's just missing. On their planet, did you know about Israel and deny the Holocaust from billions of light years away? Because then I would understand it. There's like some back story where the Alpha Corps hates her and I don't know why. And then just because she has powers.

And then Solari had his shirt off. Did he? When in a conversation with her. Do you remember that part? I remember her kissing him in space and then the lady with the whips. Forcibly rape kissing him, not... But the lady with the energy whips who can't fly just disappears. She punches her in the stomach and she wheezes

in space. She punches her in the stomach in space and I'm like, so she's dead? She's dead? Why is she in space and her skin isn't disintegrating? She doesn't have any powers. Why did Solari fly her into space and how'd she get back down to Earth? Why do you have a lady that can't fly so she's always hanging on? To the guy's shoulder. It's so fucking weird. Just make her fly. She looks like a monkey holding on Give her give her flying boots And then Solari throws her at Yaira without telling her. Yeah. I just want to talk about Yaira. It's really, it's like shockingly bad.

Guys, check my Twitter. I posted my rewrite of some of the dialogue. I thought I did a pretty good job there. The Q-tip joke was the worst part. Oh, wait, yeah, with the lady buying Q-tips. Can I get a box of Q-tips? If it's 20 bucks. 20 bucks, and then it's nothing.

Well, Eric is establishing that Texas is a bad place to be right now. But it's a libertarian utopia. In the previous book, the Alpha Corps arrests a lady for doing something like a misdemeanor. And they're like, you're getting 20 years. Oh, really? Yeah.

So there's like Judge Dredd? Yeah, there's some sort of weird Judge Dredd type thing going on where the inflation is through the roof, probably because there's trade embargoes with the rest of the United States. Here's the, OK. Eric is retarded. That's what's happening.

He's retarded, because here's the problem. Here's the biggest problem with the Ripperverse that I've identified. If someone asked me what the Ripperverse is. Because he has no dad. If I ever make something, I know my dad's going gonna find it eventually and make fun of me if it sucks. And Eric July has no dad, so he has no concept of like, well if I make this and it sucks, uh, doesn't matter.

Everyone's gonna yell at me. Was my mom gonna make fun of me? I don't give a shit what my mom thinks. That's a good point. My dad didn't even love her. The biggest problem with the rip-a-verse is if somebody asks me what is the rip-a-verse about, I couldn't tell you. Yeah. When it should be the rip-a-verse is about if Texas seceded

this would happen but I don't know what happens because it's not explained at all. What the fuck is going on in Texas? You actually you have a hook but you have to deliver on the second part of the hook. It's about if Texas seceded. Then what? And then what would happen? Well, there'd be guys flying around. Q-tips would be 20 bucks a box. There'd be guys flying around and Q-tips would be 20 dollars. That's not enough! You need like a thing!

If that happened there would be a war, or there would be like... Yeah. Yeah, there would be magic powers for some reason. There's horsemen running around. Yeah, why are they all in Texas? Does the rest of the country not have super guys? Norfolk is in Florida somewhere. Oh, yeah.

So. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Going on just tell me what Eric is so in love with with women in the weirdest way You know it is the it's like listening to reading Eric's comics. It's like Charles Manson's music. It's like this It's a song here, but there's something fucking wrong with this Okay, did I read any of these meetings take up 15% of an organization's collective time how about that? I wonder how many warehouse meetings they're having. Executive spending average 23 meeting hours a week in meetings. Well, you know what it is is that these bosses become bosses. Yeah.

And they're sick with power. Or they're like, let's have a meeting about it. Well, now I can now I'm in charge of the meeting. And I get to tell other people, hey, Brian, why don you get up here and uh tell us about the TCQ mine? Won't you walk us through? Yeah, okay. It's the same shit I said in the it's a weird power trip form that nobody read. That's the only reason to become a manager 71% of managers believe meetings are unproductive and inefficient. Well, they should knock it off then Yeah, I guess I just hate that they're all an hour.

Just make it like 10 seconds. Dick with his white collar business problems. Where do you think the money for the show comes from? A bunch of fucking homeless people? No, a bunch of truck drivers apparently. Truck drivers that you also have to stand for? I don't have to stand for truck drivers. They have meetings too, you know. Truck drivers that you also have to stand for? I don't have to stand for truck drivers. They have meetings too, you know.

Truck drivers have to meet too. They gotta meet the lot lizards. Okay, is that it? And let them sucky suck. That's the show? On that carburetor. That's the show, guys. Don't forget to vote it up at biggestproblem.show.

One hour meetings. One hour meetings. Girl bosses. Girl bosses. Girl bosses. Trying to prey on children also known as horny logic The US Post Office. Yeah, yes, yes. Okay, go to biggestproblem.show to vote them up. Go to patreon.com biggestproblem and Get us over 10,000 so we can post Vito's stand-up routine. I don't agree to that. That's not happening.

Which I'm gonna do. No, you're not. And I will take it down. They can get the live show, which was its own little fucking clusterfuck. Yeah, I'll post that. Okay. I'm gonna post all your fucking improv. How's that? You don't care yet? I don't care. You love it. I don't love it, but I don't... Look at this gay costume I got to wear. I didn't do any... That's sketch comedy. How's that? You know, I don't care. You love it. I don't love it. Look at this gay costume I got to wear. I didn't do any that's sketch comedy. It's different. Yeah, it sucks in a different way

Yeah, yeah improv's way at least sketch comedy will be done in three minutes and fair enough And guys don't forget to get in on the treasure hunt All for one dot cash all for one dot cash biggest problem in the universe dick is As people telling you it's not your fault and expecting that to make you not feel bad happened People don't seem to understand that, yes, I had to fire my drunk line cook who's like 60s shots. He fucking hadn't been drinking for a couple

months because he started taking that medicine that makes you, I guess, violently ill, you know, pukes your guts out if you're drinking. He did pretty good, let himself lapse on that apparently for about a week and came in shit-faced, so I had to let him go He was on his way anyways Everybody in the company like I you know I'm a little bitch, so I cried because I really like the guy and Sentencing him to death and Everybody tells me oh, it's not your fault I understand that but I'm here. Everybody tells me, oh, it's not your fault. It's not your fault. He did it for himself. He did it for himself.

I understand that, but the action has an equal and opposite reaction, according to fucking whatever. And I fired him. Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton,

Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, Newton, I took have led to that so you know yeah deal with that It's not necessarily my fault, but the direct actions I took have led to that so wait what according to He was just about to say it I thought he said he killed himself and whatever and

But each action has an equal yeah an opposite reaction according to fucking whatever and I fired him and if he dies it's not necessarily if he what this fucking guy you're so important really a Nick Reketa type situation well if he if he dies you know it's not my fault. And everyone, if Nick Reketa suffers anything, it's because you guys didn't send him enough Super Chats. It's not your fault. Yeah, it is. 100% your fault. So what?

Who cares? I mean, you could find a job that- Just shoot him in the back of the- who fucking cares? Don't you have anything you can do while inebriated? Can you hold a sign outside the business? That'd be fun. You probably could have done that job. You had one little fuck up, and you fucking

had a control freak tantrum and fired him who gives a shit it happened guys what I have this show is not therapy for you okay you don't need to send your fault you're bad feel bad then you should and it's your problem it's your fault there you go this is a message for future veto I know we're gonna fuck it all the heck mania you know how's gonna fuck it all up in Hackamania. Vito, how's it going? You fucked up today, didn't you? You couldn't show Superkiller anymore because of the campaign, except for the 10 people that he saved spots for, apparently. Oh, his audio's stuck.

Get the fucking comic out, Vito. What are you doing in Hackamania? You should be flying down to that artist's fucking shack or... What? He's saying, don't do anything with your life until the comic's done. Yeah, that's what he's saying. Yeah, don't cut a hackamania. Yeah.

Okay. So you're gonna cut him off? Can you not record that from the fucking road? Can you guys fucking pull into a parking spot? Get your- why are your feet all the way over here? Get your shoes out of here. Alright. Uhhhh, here we go.

The biggest problem in the universe is people who just believe anything they see online. Mm-hmm. Great call. Nailed it. Perfect voicemail. I agree. Okay. Hey, the biggest problem in the universe is that when somebody's in the stages of grief,

they refuse to just jump to acceptance. Dick, you are denying the inevitable loss that Nick Rekate is going to jail. You are in denial, just like Vito is with the scale. Going to jail. I'm the only one that thinks he's going to jail. You said things about alcohol coming out of the judge's pussy. It's over. Super sucks, but just accept it. Stop moping about it. It is true that...

I think I'm the only one that thinks both Trump and Nick are going to jail. Everyone else thinks it's funny. We should have bet on the Trump indictment. That would have been fun. That he would get hit with it? Yeah, because I won the Derek Chauvin bet all the way back. You were betting that Trump would what? I think he would have got, yeah, I think he would have got hit with something on a felony.

Would have caught a felony. He obviously was getting found guilty. Unless that one guy. The judge said you can convict, the judge says it doesn't even have to be unanimous and you have to say he's guilty. Yeah, the judge can just say it anyway. Yeah.

Fair enough. How about Alex Jones having to sell all his stuff? How about Dickisinsufferable.mp3? So the biggest problem in the universe is listening to lawyers on cases that they're not actually on. Over the last couple weeks since Riketa has hit his charges, Dick has been insufferably listening to lawyers who say,

Oh, I've never seen a warrant like this before. Didn't listen to that. Yeah, you haven't seen a lawyer doing cocaine, live streaming himself drunk before. Wow. Name someone else who does that, that's my man. Of course the warrant's gonna be unique, you dumb fuck.

Yeah. So, again, stop listening to these lawyers Of course the war is going to be unique you dumb fuck. So again stop listening to these lawyers pontificating saying oh this war is probably has maybe some terms that you could maybe get thrown out baby. Oh please. Also why are you believing in the government all of a sudden? Why are you believing that there's going to be some kind of justice? It's a very weird whole deal.

You're the actor in Blackville. Anyway, that's a good problem. Go fuck yourself. Thank you for the... Well, it does seem like the cause for the warrant was the livestream, but the livestream was a guy getting drunk. And then they're trying to say there was something on his nose, but I'm like, there's not anything on his fucking nose. What are you talking about? A guy was drinking, he went to the bathroom. You don't know what he did in the bathroom. You know what you're doing is

very upsetting to this man. I guess. Talking about a legal case about a guy who talks about legal cases and other lawyers are talking about it. This is just, people don't like it. They want you to go straight to acceptance. Did you hear his kids said they were hungry, dick? A hungry child? Can you imagine? I've never experienced that. I mean the kids in school all day, you should never experience hunger. Hey, how are the Reketa kids feeling? I'm a little peckish. How you guys doing? I'm pretty fucking hungry. Are we done with school here? Am I done learning about God and how you should turn in your friends today? You got any peanut butter crackers

back there? You got any peanut butter crackers back there? You got any Cheez-Its or something? I'm just a little peckish today. Why isn't the teacher in jail? If she's got hungry kids and she's not feeding them. Yeah, what happened to those school lunch programs in the church? The church? Give them some crackers, give them some wine.

I fucking hate priests so much. Kid probably said I didn't get one of those Jesus crackers, everybody else got one. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. Ooh, because your parents aren't feeding you? I was hungry at church. I remember. But luckily, our church, for some reason, had a cafeteria underneath it.

And it was a great cafeteria. Everyone's hungry all the time. I miss that church cafeteria. Everyone. And they had a Virtua On machine for no reason. I remember going to church as a kid. And we're like, all right, as soon as we're out, we've got to get those donuts, man.

I said once we're out, we're going in the basement. We're going to get a cheese omelet. And we're like all right if we soon as we're out we got to get those donuts man. I said once we're out we're going down the basement we're gonna get a cheese omelet and we're gonna play virtue on. It's cuz your parents aren't taking care of you. That's why. Were you ever churchgoer was that everything? My family we had to go to church when I was a kid like a little kid. I've talked about Bible camp on here right? I don't think so. We're one of the cabins one time, they said, it was like the oldest boys' cabin, because the cabins were like split up by age. And I said, we're doing something fun today. I'm like, oh, what are you guys doing?

And they're like, we're taking all the mattresses off the bunks and all the boys are going to take off their shirts and wrestle. And looking back, I go- Oh yeah, that's great. Looking back, I go, oh I go the camp one of those camp cows is definitely yeah a pedophile 100% are there any pedophiles in Roketa's just like 11 year olds just wrestling. Well, yeah, I was not in there I was one year around here. So I didn't have to wrestle all the boys Just a bunch of shirtless boys screaming wolf pack NWL black and white I think red and black was more pet- I don't know if people like the black and white or the red and black

The backlash against priests or pedophiles online is so annoying Oh yeah well teachers are pedophiles too Okay Yeah The difference is that one of them is using the threat of hellfire to get the children in there Yeah It seems a little more fucked up I gotta trust this guy, he's using the threat of hellfire to get the children in there. Yeah seems a little more fucked up I gotta trust this guy. He's keeping me out of hell

So you you just really want us to know that ever that there are pedophile problems elsewhere Thanks well other people rape kids yeah, well that doesn't make this okay What are you talking about father O'Malley was you know he's doing his best. Did you hear about that guy on the plane? Did you hear about that guy on the plane with the stickers? Flight attendants are pedophiles too. Well I have to use the plane I don't have to go to nobody has to go to church right so yeah you've created a trap the child can't you know can't decide whether or not I can't express myself without breaking the terms of service of when it comes to those guys. Okay, let's go.

Jibberish, sweat. That sounds terrible. Big, big oh. Biggest problem in the universe is sweat. Okay. Sweat is an indicator of bad things. You're overheating, you're nervous, you're sobering up. Sweat is socially unacceptable.

You look moist, you smell bad, you stain clothes. And worst of all, sweat is unstoppable. No mortal man can resist the impulse of sweat. That's a pretty good problem. That's a good problem. Wow. Sweat is unstoppable. That's great.

Can you guys bring that kind of dramatic energy to these? Instead of riding down the fucking highway. Veto, the thing about the comic book. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Why you got Hackamania when you can be doing this problem? Why you got Hackamania? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Oh, man.

I can't wait till Superkiller comes out. It's not coming out. It's just a goof. I wish that was true. It'd be funny. But I think you are gonna put it down. It'd be funny. Even though there's no thermos in the lunchbox.

What is with this? And the pogs are probably gonna be misaligned. Today I had a guy, he goes, I don't understand why I can't just buy the lunchbox separately and have a thermos separate. Yeah, you know like when you buy like a collector's edition of anything, you get to just pick and choose which thermos separate. Yeah. Yeah, you know like when you buy like a collector's edition of anything, you know, you get to just pick and choose which shit you want.

Yeah, but that's like real collector's edition. This is a real collector's edition. Not really. This is gonna be a super limited item that you guys can't actually get anymore. I'm only gonna have like 30 extras and I'm probably gonna give them all, you know, the artists and shit. It's over. You didn't get one, you're fucked. Okay. I mean, I don't know, there's like kind of a layer, like an aura of authenticity around normal collectibles. So Yellow Flash was making fun of Superkiller and I?

Oh, he was? Yeah. He's trying to deflect from how he betrayed Nick. He betrayed a lot of people. And he's pretending that he's like- I mean, Infinity is a swapapping sides, it looks like. Good, you shouldn't be mean to her. If she swaps over to the team of good, I will stop calling her a goblin most of the time.

I mean, she's still a goblin, but... You can't do it. You can't do it. She has goblin-type features. You have some kind of bitterness with her. Yeah, she's a bad... Why would you pick her as a nemesis? Cause she's a-

Easy, easy punching bag. Easy punching bag. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well cause she's not challenged in any way. She can't swing back. She can't punch back, right? She could try. You're afraid to go after anyone who could punch back.

I got it. I mean, of all the people in that sphere who are, you know- You wanna pick on the woman Well, it's some of the women have done very well for themselves because they're kind of like talented broadcasters, right? Yeah It's like Chrissy Mare. She's got kind of a nice down. That's your motto. Yeah Yeah, Star Wars girl is kind of like you're afraid of all the other dumb bitch But at least it's kind of interesting who's a dumb bitch Star Wars girl It's kind of like a dumb cunt, but that's cute in its own way. Why do you think that?

Okay, she blocked me on Twitter. Oh, yeah, I can't imagine why she would do that They just want you around. Before she blocked me on Twitter. I was like, yeah, she's great, but now yeah dumb stupid fucking whore I think Nina was right. I think maybe you were just jealous of Eric. Jealous of Eric? In what way? His comic? I'm not jealous of it. I don't like it at all, it's terrible! Yeah, but you both wanted the magazine, like you guys are both very similar except he's black. Well, that's a big difference. I don't know. That's true!

I'm starting to think Nina was right though. If Nina swaps sides, I will temper my critique. You're so eager to betray. I mean in the back of my mind I'm gonna think about. It won't be in the back of your mind. You will you were you will outwardly betray people constantly. Look. Like you did with Riley and Mark Brooks. I didn't betray Riley. But we all know you would have. I didn't betray Riley. And I wouldn't. No, I would not. Yes, you would. No, I would not. That's what people are saying. I can still betray Riley and I haven't done it. See there's the threat. How would I betray him? What would I do? I don't know you do something. I have nothing to. How would I betray him? What would I do?

I don't know, you'd do something. I have nothing to do against Riley. What you want, you wish you could. No, I love Riley. We had a lot of fun at Hackamania. It was a very positive influence. Until we got Korean barbecue and you scared him and meant salad.

No one wanted to go to that fucking Korean barbecue that you went to. Everyone enjoyed it. That one guy, what's his name? The other Riley really enjoyed it. What Riley? Oh, yeah? Yeah? I remember him. Yeah Fucking sidewinder this man All right. Well, you know what go to Vegas yourself next time. Okay?

Guys don't forget to vote on all the problems that biggest problem that show next week. We're gonna do a bonus episode Hopefully I thought we had a good plan for one and now I can't remember it So if anyone has a suggestion for a good bonus episode hopefully. I thought we had a good plan for one and now I can't remember it so if anyone has a suggestion for a good bonus episode topic. We did talk about doing biggest problem in Pokemon but I don't know if we should save that. Who could just do it? Pokemon? Yeah well you know. Is that out yet? There's a million Pokemons why not? I'm trying to think did a big video game come out we could talk about? Anyway we're gonna do some super chats guys get your super chats in now.

Don't forget memberships. You'll be able to use our exciting emojis. Get those emojis in. Wow. I'll be right back. I got to get another beer. All right. Could you get me, is there any soda or anything?

Diet Coke? All right. Koof for five. Nice hanging with you all at Hackamania. Thank you for not killing yourselves. Always good to see you, Koof. Thanks for the sticker, which I have put on my television. Got a lot of great stickers at Hackamania. Thank you for not killing yourselves. Always good to see you Koof. Thanks for the sticker, which I have put on my television. I got a lot of great stickers at Hackamania. Abtoosnome for 20 says, Oh, oh, oh, oh, beast. And Abtoosnome

for another 20 says, where is Dick Siphon of Dagon? That guy is a regular appearance in the chat. Hazmat again for two. Hackamania was cool. Vito was gay, not a comedian. Hazman again for two says, shook Vito's hand at Hackamania, he was stinky. Hazman for five, Vito to live stream at buffet. Look at me putting this fat sausage in my mouth. Someone passes by. Michelle will get the quarterly reports ready.

Fo Show for five euros says, thanks, Dick. Tubi, 242 for 20 for 20 says I finally found the clitoris there was a copy of super killer under it wow that's to be all the juices what was that doing there can you give me a horrifying alien sound effect oh fuck do we forget it whatever for $100 whoa bring out the captain cabin boy needs to start black cinnamon down walk the blankie scurvy petto did you see there's actually a

Foreign pet shop calling itself pet. Oh Really? Yeah, where I forget but somebody sent me a link to it and I was like, oh that's weird that they didn't figure that out Maybe that word is not used in their language. Yeah, they had shirts that just say pet-o It was very bizarre has man again for five big back big back big back big back Yeah, my back is loaded up with snacks and different foods. My name is veto and back is fucking huge Has man for two veto fat, he ate the super chat. Peter Wagner for five, thanks for helping me with taking apart my cabinet Vito. I hope the mother's milk and Q-tips were enough for your help.

It wasn't a cabinet, I heard you on the fucking thing. It was a Vegas sign, one of those big like plexiglass fake Vegas signs. The welcome to Vegas sign that you see when you're coming into Vegas. It was that sign? You ripped off that sign? It was a two mock replica of that sign. Huh. Which I helped a Middle Eastern guy load into his truck and he did not... I don't even know how you get roped into that though.

Like somebody talks to me on the street and I'm like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I don't like process what they're saying. Well because usually when you know I get approached by people I go, this will be an opportunity to be rude to a stranger. Okay. You didn't. Well, no, because he had a good pitch, where he's like, you want to help me load this thing and I'll give you money. But usually it's like, we're with Dare.

I'm like, Dare has killed so many people and you have blood on your hands. Yeah. Or I was walking by somebody who was collecting signatures for Israel. I said, oh, Israel? Yeah, Israel. And I said, I don't know, who was collecting signatures for Israel. I said, oh Israel? And I said, I don't know, I think those Hamas guys. Is it a tax collector?

I said, I kinda like those Hamas guys. What do you think about them? And they got really mad. I'm like, well that's funny. Anyway, Peter Wagner for two. Any favorite horror movies? No, all horror movies are bad and that's why the Soskos are allowed to direct them.

Black Crimson for five. The ones where they piss in each other's mouths or something. Regurgitated sacrifice. are allowed to direct them black crimson the ones where they piss in each other's mouths or something Sacrifice via there's a weird incest guy Directing it. What's his name Vincent Valentine or something? I think that's pretty close to it final fantasy Vincent Satan Sailing the seven sailing the seas of piss with the Soska system. All right. We got a lot of superchats to go through.

So if you don't you don't have to do the pirate thing, though. I do because the guy paid for it right away. That's when I do it. You can go in and out of it. Oh, black crimson for five. Thanks for the snacks. Thanks for not killing yourselves. A for two. Vito's fork is a perpetual motion machine. Turkey's sandwich for two, Vito's favorite dish is chicken statutory, not AI.

Shit Lips for five. He's saying AI did not write that joke for him. Shit Lips for five, hello friends. Hello. Black Crimson for five, Australian. I listened to Dick vs. Stardust on the Killstream. I did see that. I learned that only modern women can make looking after four kids look like an impossible

test. It's not fair that they left the children in charge, the 16 year old in charge of the kids. It's not fair to them. I couldn't believe what I was hearing from an Indian. I was going to say, you know, not, well yeah, exactly an Indian family. The fuck you talking about? I was going to say there's even parts of America, let's be clear, you know, I don't know exactly

what communities, but mom says I'm going out and my five or six or seven kids, you guys will be fine or whatever else. You know what I loved on that, on the kill stream, because Ralph took some callers and that was our game to Stardust. Obviously I'm pro Nick and I believe Nick immediately. I don't think he neglected his kids at all. When Stardust, a caller called in and said, okay, well, so the parents should always be home, right? So they can take a kid to the hospital, right?

Well, what if when the parents take a kid to the hospital, another of the kids gets hurt and needs to go to the hospital? And Stardust goes, well, then the other parent would be there to take them to the hospital. And the guy goes, okay, but then what if then another kid? I was like, you nailed it. You fucking got her. You fucking got her.

Stardust, you're fucking done. You're done in this town, you bitch. You're fucking done. Get out of here. How's Stardust doing, huh? People just hate Coke. They're terrified of it. They'll crawl over a mountain of cigarettes and cheeseburgers and alcohol

to find a little gram of coke or whatever and go like, Aha! We got you, you son of a bitch! I remember Stardust was mad at me because she had Nick Fuentes on, it was going terribly, so I started livening it up by asking Nick like actually interesting questions. Oh yeah, like what? I don't know, just like, you know, this was way back when, and I'm like, well, what are you trying to do with Cozy?

What's that about? You know, like stuff about current events. And then later she complained to Mr. Girl. She's like, Vito really steamrolled the Nick Fuenis thing. And I'm like, bitch, you were just sitting there not saying anything. So Stardust didn't like me for a second. You fight with too many women.

They're very easy to fight with. Well, that's why you shouldn't do it. I don't fight with women. I'm fighting with men. Here's why you. You fight with too many women. They're very easy to fight with. Well that's why you shouldn't do it. I don't fight with women. I'm fighting with men. Here's why you don't fight with women is because women look at like they look at guys and they go like oh well I wouldn't fuck with Dick because he's gonna like say horrible things to me and he's very- I would not!

Well they go- What am I gonna say? Well they go he's a very strong kind of you have like an alpha male look to you right? And they look at guys like me and they have a male about a pirate And they look they look at a guy like me and I think you know in high school They're all these bad bitches. They go. I know that kind of guy. He must be they pick on you Yeah, well exactly they go like he must be like a weak Nerd type and they don't understand that I don't give a shit about anything. I go fuck you you fucking goblin whore

And then I wasn't expecting that because I fucking hate a lot of them because they're little fucking bitches They're little snipey like why do you give him so much attention? Because they go on these other like fucking things and they go on these Podcasts and whatever else and they just go they wait for the men to talk shit Okay, like yellow flash goes yeah that veto is a piece of shit. They go. Yeah. He is a piece of shit Oh my god, you'll flash that's like so smart, and I'm like you don't have a fucking thought in your head You just fucking parrot whatever these fucking idiots are saying pointing at me because you have a parent If they had like a genuine criticism of me, okay

But most of the time it's just like who women whatever Eric July says whatever fucking yellow flash says You're using genuine and women in the same that was my problem with Nina infinity is the yellow flash goes I forget if you feels a fuck pedophile. She goes I know he's like the fucking worst. Oh my god Then you're bringing in horny horny thinking about a little girl taking pictures of little girls on the toilet What are people supposed to think? Look all these talentless whores just drive me nuts, okay All they do is we need a token woman to show up and agree with our opinions do is we need a token woman to show up and agree with our opinions. We need a token woman to show up and go be little cheerleaders and go yeah you guys are like so smart and funny. Oh no.

They're all pregnant now though. Chrissy Mare's pregnant, Star Wars girl's pregnant. I didn't say anything about Chrissy Mare. Chrissy Mare's a friend of the show. We like Chrissy Mare. Yeah but not enough to go to her comedy show. I liked Star Wars Girl until she blocked me on Twitter, so now she's a talentless whore and I hope she dies. Oh, so bad. I don't hope she dies. Dies? She's pregnant. I hope she dies like her whore sister who disappeared.

No, I'm just kidding. That's not kidding. That's way out of line. I know. That's way out of line. I don't mean it. OK. That's way, way out of line.

That's why I said it, because it's so fucked up but you actually don't like her though you can't say really mean things no I like I like Star Wars girl I wish she didn't bother me I think she has like a little bit of a little bit of talent she's like she's better in her bra in her bra yeah I don't know what is your problem with all these girls That they're fucking little snipey bitches. Why do you think about them? I'm not really it's just women are just women are just like the weather you know Just like I don't get mad at spring is here all I'm saying Christmas time is here is

Okay, I didn't create the dichotomy. I didn't createift God did. There doesn't need to be the Eric July camp and the whatever the fuck other camp. Yes there does. There doesn't have to be. Yes there does. There can be, I will attack anyone who's on the Eric July camp. Well that's what I'm doing if you're on the Eric July camp you fucked up. Yeah but you just said there doesn't have to be two camps. Well there can be there can be a little bit of crossover. No. You cannot think Yaira is good. You can't fucking think Yaira is good. Why was Riketa still talking to Yellow Flash? He should have picked a fucking lane. And now Yellow Flash has betrayed him. Maybe you're right. You're right. There is

two cants. You can't think Yaira is good. You just fucking can't. Okay? You're lying. It's impossible. It's really bad. I'm not saying there's sides, but there's just no fucking way you can say that's good. Again. Even as that fat wart said well that was a well that was a fun read Onto the next onto my next onto me next gym selfie Oh, I've got to go to the gymnasium and take a picture of me self sweating through my shirt I want to be surprised. Let's put it that way. I wanted Yaira to be good because it would have been like, alright.

Because you want to betray everyone and show how much better you are than everything. No, I want this to get interesting. I want it to be like, oh there are some good comics on the other side. Now what's that going to look like? I'm still like, what if Yellow Flash is cut? How did you think the Soska sisters would write something good? They look, they're fucking piss sisters. Horror whores.

They got no talent, at all. Some people, I haven't read it. Some people said that their Black Widow comic was good. But I didn't read it. It fucking sucks. I don't know, I didn't read it. It's got some pedophile that's dressed up like a clown. It's totally inappropriate. Well, I haven't read it, I don't know.

I heard Eric Chalani likes likes it so maybe it's good. What if Yellow Flash's comic is good? That would be surprising. I don't think that guy's you know smart enough to write a good comic, but maybe I don't know maybe he has some secret storytelling. I hope there's a tribute to the veterans in it. I really hope that Yellow Flash has a tribute to fucking veterans in his comic book well I hope it takes I hope it's actually a two-pager if that's if it's two pages It's not enough there needs to be a three pages of thanking the veterans is very special note about a fucking Somebody yeah, who is on D day? Oh?

I Mean the premise is weird to me because when he wasn't drafted he wanted to go when he when I heard it was Like the Power Rangers during World War two. I'm like that see that's what reverse minute needs It needs the fucking elevator pitch Power Rangers during World War two boom, but then it turns out the Japanese right no No, I'm here soon well with Egyptian powers. Do you know that? It's like magic Egyptian armor on the guy retarded. I'm like you already fucked it up Why'd you fuck it up? The powers are Zordon. Roll the fade then. No the powers The powers are

Wow, that's where the power comes from Right there. I think the powers are during Pearl Harbor a experimental Japanese aircraft crashed and within the wreckage they found the Japanese power armor that the evil Japanese scientists developed during the American put it on yeah during the what was it the rape of Nanking I don't know yeah they took a bunch of Chinese women and took their bones and made power ranger arm around of it or whatever the fuck what well the rape of Nanking the jet not real no obviously not but I'm saying okay well I'm saying there was the you know the Japanese

were crazy with their laboratories and they're kidnapping people to run experiments on them. That would make more sense to me that an American guy stole Japanese power armor and was now turning it around. You think Yellow Flash is trying to like butter up Eric? He's like oh please don't sell one of your books when I put mine up because we're both trying to grift the same people. I think that everyone is going to suck Eric July's dick to sell their comic book. You already got that drunk 3PO guy who's on the Rip-A-Send train.

I don't know that guy. All right, let's go. We got a lot of super chats to get through. He needs a better letter. I hate comic shit. No, you don't. Let's go. We got a lot of super chats to get through he needs a better comic shit No, you don't Let's see j-rob detailing in Ireland for five euros says let's go Let's go Brits man for two vetoes booty, but make dick safe the prize box makes dick safe the prize box Well said Tom Brits man nimble bitch for ILS 30

Thanks, Koof. Cole Marklin for five. Vito, your latest win was that onion soup mix. Is that Sheckles? Is that what that little thing is? Is that ILS? I don't know. Israeli likes Schilling. Cole Marklin for five says, Vito, your latest win was that onion soup mix and sour cream dip recipe. It's delicious. That and the buffet stream. Keep up the food content. Did you try the onion dip? No. Get the get the onion soup mix and sour cream dip recipe. It's delicious. That and the buffet stream keep up the food content. Did you try the onion dip? No. Get the onion soup mix, get the sour cream.

Yeah, I remember. It's gonna blow your mind. I just haven't bought any onion dip. Steve for two, holy shit, an actual sponsor. Yeah, allforone.cash. And don't forget. I shouldn't have ripped it up. To check out a Kendall and Hyde.

Was that it? What are you talking? Why would you plug other people? I don't even know what that is. It's like a, I thought they went out of business. All for one. Dot cash. Dot cash.

I think you can win this. $10,000, get the app. If you win it, give us a little bit. I think, yeah, give us a nice super chat shit lips for two speaking of mattresses Solid BM for two best ad read original not like other youtubers Yeah, we're gonna argue over every shitty ad read that you do sure turdry for ten Let's get a combo hit a fog in the sci-fi sound just to set the mood I hate that fog and bugs

I hate that bog. How much was that? Ten bucks. Yeah, that's enough. Only for a little bit. Only for a little bit. Catabyss for two. F you Vito for invalidating my treasuring lifestyle. So, Terjorie for ten. Imagine thinking that someone would upload your hackamania. Okay. When you go to check, they chuck dicks in my ass. Why did you scan it in advance? Because I'm... I don't know. Imagine... You're so paranoid about your stand-up getting out

because it was so bad it was really bad wait read it it was funny it was check Dicks in my ass imagine thinking that someone would upload your hackamani appearance on the biggest problem patreon but when you go to check they chuck Dicks in my ass nobody wants that Viet's and Dicks nobody wants that we will upload the show. There was a recording issue during the standup problem and that footage does not exist. Oh.

Awkwardness for two. Everyone ask Patch and nobody likes onions. Everyone ask him to upload the standup, including Vito. I will not do it. The next episode of the show. Tell him that Vito does not want it. If you upload the standup, I will quit the show for a month. You will have no show.

You'll have to go a month without the show. Don't burn your materials says Acklevich. James Gardner for 10, sex, regrets, and jail. I will upload the Josh Denny stand-up. That's not yours to upload though. He'd give it to me. I think you're gave Carly's footage. Me, four, one, two, zero, for five 5, stand up Vito, comedy man Vito,

always with the hot PDF file jokes. A lot of hot pedophile jokes. Johnny Rockets, 5, Yaira PDF, nope, expect Yaira edited edition within a week or whatever. Mm, yes. Johnny Rockets. He is the man of remixing comics. Fox Foley for 10 and 55 days.

The lead actress from Cuties turns 18. I repeat, the lead actress of Cuties is going TBF game before Vito releases a single copy of Superkiller. Oh, wow. The Cuties girl is going to be legal before Superkiller comes out. He almost got me with a TBF.

That was smart. Yeah, that was a good one. But that's interesting. I don't know why it would be interesting. I don't find it interesting at all. Well, because now she's because now she's an adult feel like yeah, you guys are fucking nuts It would be you're a weird someone should interview her and find out what you guys are just constantly blasting my picture To say how gross and sick it is, but you're traumatizing me as a little girl Just for to raise money like you guys are sick perverts the quartering specifically is a sick freak

Who was doing that over and over and over for like a month? It's it's degenerate also what people don't understand is that movie came in in France like a year or two before it came out in America so for her it's like Absolute ancient history that people will not let go of it was is deranged. She's like I've done more with my life I don't need you guys to keep bringing this up on my behalf King Europe look at this Well King Europe for five pounds biggest problem is girlfriend shopping list it's not good enough to get coffee beans It's gotta be fair trade coffee beans Fuck up. You're doing the shopping for your girlfriend? Clipsama for two says I'm gonna upload your stand-up for archival purposes

Let Nick suck her why don't you? Well, I can't stop you. Shitlips for two, you've got be fair to the cops. They were jealous of rackets. Agreed. Vinny Vadici for two, the buffet stream made me swear off buffets. Good.

I put gummy bears on a slice of pizza, that was interesting. Just eye-bonded for Bob Australian. Kids unfed, unwashedashed wearing the same stinky clothes Nick is taking the blackface lawyer stick way too far I thought my opening joke was solid I don't know I didn't hear your opening once it didn't get a laugh I'm like this crowds fucking with me the crowd is there for shows that make fun of other things I said when I yeah well that's the thing if I did a bunch of stuttering John material well even what

do you call it? Pat Dixon went up there and he was getting like fucked over and he said you guys just want stuttering John shit That's all you want. No, that was the other guy. Eddie Stansderts. Was it? Was he the last guy? Pat Dixon was asleep. Oh Who oh no, no, no, I thought Pat Dixon was the yelling guy. No Pat Dixon wears glasses and goes like well, you know he sounds like Dennis Miller Oh Eddie something okay was the guy that said you guys just want stuttering John shit was he the guy who went for 27 minutes he went like 15 minutes over the light and eventually fucking Melton was screaming

at him he's like will you wrap up your fucking set just I bond yeah we did that one my opening joke was when I read the Nick Reketa thing and said the kids are fucking set. Just Eyebond, yeah, we did that one. My opening joke was when I read the Nick Reketa thing, I said the kids are stinky and hungry. And what's the other thing? I forget. Stinky. They're stinky and they're hungry

and they haven't changed their clothes. I said, I think I might be one of Nick Reketa's kids. That's me to a T. That's a good joke. River Beard for five, a free new comic book at thecomputersatemyfriends.com. Check it out. Thecomputeryatemyfriends.com.

Warren for five, I'm the foster parent who's gonna get Nick's kids. Don't worry, Nick, I'll take good care of them. Whoa. I was gonna make that joke on Twitter and then I said, you know what? I'm just gonna get in trouble, so. Yeah's not funny. You're right I well that was why I was gonna get in trouble I'm like I don't want to make jokes about the guys kids who

are stinky and hungry. Big boss for two Vito would you go on fish tank season 3 if I asked? No because you can't jerk off. Shit lips for two accord accordion. Oh fuck, I forgot it. Oh, that's true. A for two, Vito's pretty good at eating. Vito's wiener for five, Vito's weight gain in Vegas. Hedonism does not make me wet. Can you give me an alien sound effect for Adam Martin with a big $50 on the board? Here's the money I was gonna spend

on some ungrateful cunt off of Hinge. I canceled because I knew I would have a better time drinking and watching y'all. Yeah, fuck women. She's probably fat. I'm going to say this was a pretty good episode. Big bumbling 0 for 5. Biggest problem is airport security not deciding whether the laptop stays inside or outside

the bag. Every airport has a different fucking rule. Abolish the TSA. What's the deal with the bag inside or outside the bag? Do they want it inside the bag or outside the bag? Airport jokes. What am I wearing my pants or not wearing my pants? Airport jokes. Justin Brodick for Five Eater,

what made you think a live stream of you eating was a good idea? That's a great fucking question, man. It was fun. Well, I figured I would like, I could get some super chats, pay for this buffet. You thought you'd get a free buffet. I did get a free buffet.

Man. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha for you. Diamond G for $3.33. It's been three weeks since we had some fog. Two bucks of fog? $3.33. Okay, that's a funny amount. It's been James Gardner for $5. It's a government problem. Maybe one other thing. Free rackets. Clip of ours is here. Biggest problem is hotel doorways not wide enough for the luggage carts. I've encountered this three times out of our last ten hotels. Little hotel humor for you. It goes with the airport humor. Riley Everson, five. Nick should hit up Kyle for PKA for advice on navigating them pesky drug charges.

Also, Vito and Woody should meet up sometime for a cuties show. Oh, Woody is all about cuties too? I haven't seen it and I don't want to see it. Sounds terrible. Nicholas, for five. Canadian, 49 days until Vito officially becomes a hack fraud. Uh oh. Is that when Deadpool 3 comes out?

I think so. Are you worried about that? I saw your little email update where you said the digital copy's coming out before Deadpool 3. I didn't say before Deadpool 3, but let's. But you implied it. Is it? I got plans.

Is it? Well. Is it gonna I got plans. Is it? Well... Is it gonna come out before? It's gonna come down to if the artist can wrap it up. You gotta yell at that guy, man. He knows. He knows. I've told him the deadline that I want to hit.

You gotta say, it's gonna be a big L for me. And then he said in an email recently, he said, well, I don't know, these last pages seem complicated. Complicated? And I'm like, yeah, I know they're complicated, but like, also he doesn't wanna use AI to like get fucking poses and shit. So?

I mean, it would just make- Do you have AI on your comic? Oh, I sent him a mock-up that I made in AI. Are you gonna post that? Yeah, I already posted it on Twitter, it's awesome. Oh. And he saw it and he said- I can see. He said, I'm confused, why is this page already drawn?

And I said, no, that's AI, you need to draw it in your style. And he said, oh. Man, are you like micromanaging this guy to death? He has, I give him storyboards. Yeah, but like AI. Hit media, it'll find it quicker. Doing AI and sending that to an artist, I would think that would be very insulting

It is very insulting, but it also is a way for me to get it to him much quicker Wow look at all these posts Well, you have to put an image with your poster else. It doesn't get traction on on YouTube Jesus this is what I sent him. This is a Yeah, well, it's also with Photoshop. I did some Photoshop work on it. Oh, okay. So it's like a- So what do you need an artist for? Well, at some point, who knows, if AI keeps getting good. This came out, but this was like pretty good for AI, right?

I mean, I don't know what's happened. It's like, yeah, like a magnet sucking out everybody. It's like, uh, you could see, I was just like- It looks like magna. Well, yeah, it's supposed to look like Magna. I was like, I want everybody reacting to the fucking Earth getting sucked up by the energy ball. So this is fine, it's already drawn.

I know, it looks really good. There you go. You don't need an artist at all. Hey, I is like surprisingly powerful. But I want the guy to draw it, he's gonna draw it. I was just like, here's what, you know, I'm envisioning. And you're like, here, here, draw exactly this. No, don't draw exactly this,

but like, I want them all looking up and I want you to draw the earth getting sucked, whatever. Yeah. I mean, that's not, most of my pages aren't AI. I just figured I'd try it for this one, cause honestly, drawing the earth is like kind of, I mean, I guess I could have sketched it out. Whatever.

I think it was good, I think it's good. How would he rate you as a boss? Oh, he hates me. I know he hates me, but I pay him good. Tomatohead for five, hard R, you need to be searching ten hours of sea shanty too for pirate music. You land blubbers. It'd be exactly what you're looking for to plunder Vito's booty. Wait, I got somebody sent me in a... Oh, the other problem with my comic is I got a colorist, you know, to color the pages.

Okay. And she goes, I might be... That was totally unnecessary. You should have done it black and white. Why do you say that? Because it's better. What do you mean? I mean, it's better.

What do you mean? Well, what's wrong with the color? Well it's just like, you know, throwing the color on in addition to everything else. You're just saying that it takes more time? It takes more time and what's the point? Black and white feels like indie, you know? Black and white. You can fill in the blanks with your brains. Well, I might have an announcement on that front. What's the announcement?

There might be. What's the announcement? There might be. This announcement... Some pirated music. Me lads. This sucks. What's wrong with this? No, this is good pirate music. Are you getting into it? No!

I'm just gonna power through this bit. Ahahaha! Here we go, me lads! We're taking on, we're finding all the colorists in the seven seas and rounding them up so they can color Vito's comic so it comes out on time. What do you think about that, me herd-ies? What do you think about that, me pedophiles? We're never done, Piraten. We've got to sail around the earth drawing comic books. No, never gonna happen. Let me drink this for one second.

All right. Never gonna happen! Let me drink this for one second. Alright. I finally found a good song. You happy? Is that satisfying for you? Yeah, I'm pretty happy, yeah. I don't have a late comic book. Very good. That's turning into a- How's the silly pants skating routine coming along? I don't care!

Hahahaha! Man, you're such a piece of shit. How's the Silly Pants skating routine coming along? I don't care. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Hat trick for five, GME, $75 million dilution was to kill the ability for a single board member to call a board vote. Five billion cash on hand now. M&A soon in short situation is worse this time. Yes, that's what I thought. TBF for five, I shook Vito's hand in Vegas. He's a horribly putrid and fetid musk. Vito smells is what I'm saying, absolutely terrible and in that heat, ug. Wow. I don't think that heat ug. Well. I hope that's not real. I don't think that's real. I was helping load shit into a truck though, so maybe I don't know why you do that. I did it for 60 bucks. It's not worth it. I probably could have got more. Sweating your ass off in the desert like that.

It was cool. I got to meet the guy who owns the antique store and talk about what it's like owning an antique store. I like meeting people. Peter Wager for two released sand up at 305 pounds Vito's later for 10 pro tip if a fiat asshole is disappointed you just dispute the fraud with your credit card company interesting 14 pat for CZK 69 hi gay boys Vito. Do you like antiques or just nerd shit? Also love you both, always make me laugh. I like 60s and 70s decor. If I look at some of the houses in LA

and I'm sad that they're all refurbished, because I'd like to get a house that has that like 60s shag carpet. What shag carpet from 60 years ago? I mean, that's a good point. I like the wood paneling. The wood paneling I love. Yeah, I was looking at some.

Did you get that? Although I still was like, man, I should move to Vegas. I was staying at my buddy's house in Vegas, and it's got a nice little pool in the back. Sure. You'd love it. Do it. You know. Why not? We could do the show over Zoom, you know? Nope. That would be the end!

I'm not doing a fucking Zoom show. What do you mean? What's wrong with that? They suck. They're boring. Whatever, the show already sucks anyway. Who cares? Oh, okay. I mean, haven't we reached the tipping point where it's basically like PKA and we can just put in the middle of an effort because everybody knows us and they got nothing else to listen to Can't we do that? Oh

man, oh man Man, these guys love the shit talk. It's fun. Just run it for two If only you guys had a PO box for delivery. Yeah, did you see Boogie got a promise ring for his dude? I saw that and I was like, bro, come on! A 50 year old man should not be getting a promise ring. I wanted to comment, but I was like, I don't even know what the fuck to say about Boogie getting his girlfriend a promise ring, like a fucking 15 year old. Brooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo This is because it's not funny right well. It's pedophilia. I hope it's I hate them as far as like the pedophile rumors about boogie going

I was like oh, no you would never know I got my girlfriend a promise ring I was like and why don't you get her a fucking bib and a bonnet you fucking psychopath? What are you doing talking about that's horrifying? Why are you talking about? That's horrifying. Why are you talking about her dad? Why the fuck are you talking about her dad on the internet? You have a huge following! Why don't you buy her some fucking Bratz dolls and a Spirograph? Why are you treating her- I bought her a Bratz ring and a Polly Pocket set!

Like a 15 year old. This is insanity. Aaaaaahhhhhh I- But you know what? That's why the little cow- That's the that's the little cow life right gives people something to talk about If any of our adult members listening to this podcast have ever considered getting their girlfriend a promise ring Get her a fucking pair of earrings. That's it get her like some regular jewelry if you really want to buy your girlfriend jewelry Promise ring

Earrings, a necklace necklace promise to eat myself to death. Yeah Not a ring a ring is a different thing. I promise you can do better than me. Yeah go I promise them on the promise and when the blood cancer takes me you can have all my magic car I promise I won't fill the hole inside of you that your dad made when you're a little girl or your uncle Maybe I was hanging out on whatnot in a I just stumbled across boogie selling his magic cards oh really yeah there's like seven people watching I was like this is not going well that's rough I mean my streams get basically promise rings aren't free no they're not Cole Marklin for two USPS PO box lady Kyle in prison for weed

that's true gotta go to the UPS store. Justin Rollin for two, Vio could go to the post office and steal ballots. Yes! Sam Coyne for two, Masters and I hate your fingernails. Sorry, not sorry. They're totally normal fingernails. Exactly 40 dead batteries for two, so I like that joke. I believe that was your T-Rex joke. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Good, good, good. Kara Fro for five. I'd like one of them new penises, please. I'm a lady T-Rex.

I'm a male now. Do the mouth. I'd like one of them new penises, please. I'm a lady T-Rex. I'm a male now. Do the male. I'd like one of those Ah T-Rex goes into the trans doctor's job. We got the whole joke you can skip the punchline No, no, you can't skip the fortunately sir. She fell to skip the joke. We're not doing the whole joke I'm too I could do the whole job. I have to do the whole job Okay, I'd like one of those new fangled penises that you've got there, okay? Yeah, I'm a lady T-Rex I feel like a man. I'm a man T-Rex inside of me Trans-rex trans-rex stands for trans everybody

And I says to the doctor so how big is this weiner gonna be I'm a pretty big guy I'm a pretty big guy T- a pretty big guy T Rex obviously king of the thunder lizards You know it means that trans Rex king of the trans lizards how big's that old? Wiener gonna be that you're gonna give me to me doctor and the doctor says will the it's We can only make it as big as your the way the science works We can only make it as big as your forearm All right, I Get it You can only make it as big as your forearm. Hahahaha! Alright. Alright. I get it.

That's your T-Rex face. I don't know if it works with the pirate costume necessarily. But uh... No, I just do this for like 10 minutes. Hahahaha! That would have killed it, Hackamania. Should have gave that to me in the green room. No, it wouldn't have killed. Cause it's not about fucking Stuttering John or making fun of some other podcast.

They should be like... Very amusing. I should have brought my StutGeo material. Yolanda Finklestein for five. Yeah, keep doing it. My postwoman forged my signature unregistered mail, then delivered it to the wrong house. The house of a literal schizo, by the way. She's still employed. 2B for 10, what it is, Patna.

Steve for 2. What it is, Patna? Eric's lies about his creative is a burnt stump. Royston Bailey for 2. How much do you think the Ripperverse is losing monthly? The Yira statue. Did we miss that? Did we talk about that? Oh yeah, that looks dumb Well, he's pretending that him and Todd McFarlane are friends He's putting up all these videos with thumbnails of him standing next to Todd McFarlane, but it's not really it. Yeah They're not really the same room. He's like he's definitely never talked to Todd McFarlane talked to somebody in the fucking Production they're just paying for a statue. They're paying a lot for a statue

I was like he's paying a hundred150,000 to produce those I guarantee it. But whatever if he sells them but I only I think he only sold 200s he's gonna break even and then he's gonna have 300 statues sitting nowhere else which maybe he's happy about. We should buy one just to jack off on it. No no no I'll tell you this how about if somebody gets one and scans it and will 3d print it okay? Nah it's got to be real. It's got to be the real deal 3d print. It is the real deal No, it's got to be a McFarland original Okay, cuz it's gonna go value Todd McFarland to lick it good old Todd on the way out good old Todd Geeks for five my past few super chats focus on dinosaurs to make fun of veto similarity to them due to their shared size

This five dollars though is specifically for the t-rex joke. Thank you. It's good joke focus on dinosaurs to make fun of veto similarity to them due to their shared size. This $5 though is specifically for the T-Rex joke. Thank you. It's a good joke. Can I get a spooky sound? Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uh, super chat being gay AF. Brothers in hiding go after abandoned Maddox and July followers that were left behind by their coward leaders Can't say any more than that super chat being gay af Fucking know what's going on in Pokemon. Maddox is back. Our brother Maddox is back. Maddox is back? Do you want to watch?

Maddox is back. Do you want to talk about that? Maddox is back. Maddox is making his own Pokemon card too. Straight from Allah. The Van Gogh Pokemon card is gone. Van Gogh Pokemon! Maddox is back! Not nearly as good as Van Gogh Pokemon.

You know, I want to see, I want to see, here is deal. Here is deal. Allah is in all things, but really, I want to see Pikachu in all things. Pikachu Van Gogh. Pikachu President. They got Pikachu inside the Kabbalah now. Pikachu inside the Kabbalah. Pikachu inside all things. Pikachu Van Gogh. Yeah. Pikachu president. They got Pikachu inside the Kabbalah now. Pikachu inside the Kabbalah. Yeah. Pikachu inside a sandwich.

I want to open up a sandwich and a Pikachu pop out. Muhammad had a electric ability. Muhammad had an electric ability because secretly- Pikachu! Inside of Muhammad. What? Riding the flying donkey. Pikachu actually for life.

Riding around with electricity he rode Lugia also Pikachu everything one Pikachu starting at top going all the way to the bottom Pikachu in hat Pikachu in wizard hat Pikachu in every movie Pikachu Scarface

Pikachu building a big black box if you had a Pokemon Muscle, I think it would be pretty cool Pikachu Karan. Yeah, you walk the desert. Muhammad Pikachu. You only battle against Jews But instead of knocking out their Pokemon you savagely murder them. All Jews are Pikachu too All Jews are Pikachu? Yes! Who's not Pikachu in this situation? Uhh, only Muhammad's six year old wife not Pikachu! But she is Pikachu! She's Pichu!

She is Pichu! The smaller version of Pichu. The little baby Pichu. That's why it tastes so good. It's even baby, uh, yeah. Alright. I learned a lot today. About a Pikachu.

Hahaha! I learned a lot. Uhh, you been keeping up on the Metazoo drama? No. I Learned a lot You've been keeping up on the meta zoo drama No It's fascinating. That was the Pokemon ripoff card game that went bankrupt after shilling after Steve Aoki shilled it for millions of dollars millions how they go bankrupt uh By printing way too much product and making insane deals to get it into Target and Walmart. If you go to Target right now,

they got a bunch of Metazoo packs on the shelf and it's like, no one's buying that shit. That's stupid. And they also- You own any of that? No. No, it's surprising. Cause it looked like dog shit.

I was actually surprised when it went up in, it was happening during COVID. Yeah. And also it was happening during the height of the NFT boom. Oh. And they're like, oh, it's like NFT trading cards sponsored by Steve Aoki with art that kind of looks like Pokemon if it was ugly and terrible. Yeah, that's cool.

And there was a bunch of YouTube guys going, you got to invest in Metazoo. This is like, if you could buy the base set Pokemon. Remember when we were kids, remember how our dads were super into baseball cards and we thought that's gay and lame and stupid And you're trying to relive your youth now lets us do that. The pitch was it's like being able to buy first edition Pokemon cards Which are now eight dollars a booster box I think you can get 36 packs for about twelve dollars for Pokemon no for Metazoo Oh for Metazoo because it's completely dead. Diamond G G for two Eric blew the budget on Subway, Canada

Catered by Subway Canada was it was it was up there well no in the credits It's credits who catered by I think you have to do that is that but you don't have to put credits on a trailer It was not catered by Subway. He just bought a subway sandwiches Well, it was not fucking catered by subway You know, he probably had to order the party sub. Is that catering? He was giving that sasca bitch this party. So hey bitch gonna know what it is You think he fucking when he nuts in that bitch like what it is You ever been to a party and been like I wish there was a big sub here. Yeah, I don't know you have not now. I've said I wish there was some onion dip

Okay No, I've never What I love fucking smells terrible Justin Brodick for two love the shirt dick. It doesn't smell terrible smells like sour cream onions and garlic it's Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Johnny Rockin five' 5, drunk me match with a girl on Tinder. She asked for money to Uber over. I Venmo'd it and never heard from her again.

That's horny logic. Not creeping on little girls. Johnny Rico for 10, veto you buffet frequenter. There is a girl where I volunteer. 20, G-cup, 28 inch waist. Horny logic is me saying I would marry her tomorrow without knowing anything about her or her family. Not crying.

Yeah, you should. I mean, you should do that. That's a lesser form of horny logic. No. The most extreme form of horny logic is not crimes against little kids. No, it's not. That's a very feminist thing to say.

Vito's Weiner for five. Vito and his horny logic does not speak for me. Christ. Christ, yep. Joe Cool logic does not speak for me. Christ. Yep. Joe Cool for 10. Bring circumcision in general. I think we already did. Male and female versus trans bottom surgery.

So we can see the head to head. Filioplasty and vaginaplasty is gross, but so is the snip on hoods. What is the voicemail number? You can find it on the website, but I forget how you. You got to pay us for the voicemail number. No, it's on the website. Biggest problem that show.

Also, we definitely, circumcision apologists is on the board. I remember that. Do, do, do, do, but circumcisions isn't. Circumcisions isn't. Dean Shock for two, thanks for the laughs, boys. Just Eyebond for five, Australian Veto Dick is correctly saying you're equating

pedophile urges with healthy sexual urges. Neither of them is healthy, that's the point. You're trying too hard. No, sexual urges are healthy. Fucking is healthy, that's the point. You're trying too hard. No, sexual urges are healthy. Fucking pedophile urges are not healthy. You can have sexual urges that, though they may be legal, are not healthy. Wait, what?

Like trying to like, you know, like, oh, I'm gonna fuck whatever the fuck and. What do you mean, fuck whatever the fuck? Like, I'm gonna fuck, like, gay guys, like chasers, who go like, oh man, I'm so horny, what if I got AIDS? I'm gonna fuck a guy? I'm gonna fuck a guy and guys like chasers who go like oh man. I'm so horny. What if I got? A guy I'm gonna fuck a guy AIDS that's a myth that's like a no it's fucking Oh what advice they retard monthly dude. There's nose. Do you know nulls? What's no? No lows?

What's no those are guys you wrap rubber bands around their dick until it falls off What's null? Nullos are guys who wrap rubber bands around their dick until it falls off. Okay, is that anything related to this? That's horny logic! That's not horny logic, that's some kind of weird paraphilia! I'm gonna get off on having my dick rot off. You, um, I'm starting to agree with null. You have a very weird division between regular horniness and unhealthy horny horny logic is when Dan Harmon went to a

Mannequin factory and he bought a bunch of mannequins so he could lick their feet That's horny logic. It's legal really fucked up. It's doing a thing that you're like, why am I doing this? This is a waste of money because you're horny not because you have a compulsion to do it. OK. I think the compulsion is sexual. Licking mannequin legs? Yeah. That's not a sexual compulsion.

What are you talking? Of course it is. What are you talking about? Why, it's just a weird compulsion to lick mannequin legs. Yeah, because you get off. Yes, he was jacking off. He was jacking off and licking mannequin legs. Yes.

That's not horny thinking. I think it is No, that's a fucking depraved kink that he has. Just a eyeball. Which is fine For five Australian veto dick is correctly saying you're equating PDF file Oh, we already did that one, but this was a joke one Anyway, because he says you're trying too hard TBF to criminals. So I don't even know if he means that. I would think Vegas for 10 Shout out NJF second only to BPIT and PKA is gay. I didn't say that. Jarvo for six has a donut emoji.

Manny Muskets for two says Vito, how's standup going? No, if I was black, I'd be doing better. Homunculus Gaming for 10. Vito more like Edo Pig Pig Pig. Chef Bingus or Chief Bingus for five. Comic books are not worthy of this much attention. Yeah, they're not. Steve for two, what is with the most depressing voicemail

ever, I fired a drunk guy and I am responsible for his life being miserable. What can you do? What can you do with a drunken worker? What can you do with a drunken worker? What can you do with a drunken worker? What? I'm giving you a pirate shanty and you're not guess and again. That was a pirate shanty?

You don't know what can you do with a drunken sailor? No, I know like, uh, Contro-li-do- You literally played it! You played it earlier in the episode! All right, come on, read the chat. No, hold on! Oh, now you wanna hear this?

Well, cause it was, yeah, right here. You don't even know where you're going. You don't even know where you're going. What? Alright, come on, read the chat. No, hold on! Oh, now you wanna hear this? Well, cause it was, yeah, right here! You don't even know where you're going! What? With a drunken sailor, what do you do with a drunken worker? Lying in the morning, string him up down with a bolt, Spide finum, I don't fucking know, a host by finum, String him up down with a host by finum,

Lying in the morning, put a little phone on the fucking toilet, Put your phone on the fucking toilet He has a trans penis t-rex Venus t-rex has a tranny penis early in the morning Alright, we're gonna be here all night. Oh you get to do all the pirate shit you want But I try to sing one pirate song and all of a sudden we're stretched for time Well, it's just taking forever man. Cuz you keep interrupting with a five minute fucking pirate music bit. I Want to do it once? I'm just saying it's late Everyone's got to go home. They're at home. You're at home I'm the only one who has to go home after this if anyone should be complaining. It's me

I'm the only one who has to go home after this! If anyone should be complaining, it's me! Let's go! You just have to walk upstairs and drink! I don't have to walk upstairs and drink. No, you don't have to do anything! Fucking idiot. Uh, let's see here... Vito More Like Edo, did you read that one?

We already read that one. Uh, DiamondG for two, I claim to be immortal today. Great. Johnny Rico for two, sell the pog separately pig boy I Have a few extra pogs a few extras But not that many a Cuban whore lord for five everyone's a pedo if you're horny enough. That's what it sounds like It's not K gone postal for two your t-shirt prints are surprisingly high quality. Thank you Doesn't mean they're good this is one of the ones one of my shirts ran here yeah

feel good for 9.99 dick should have whipped out the Miss Piggy impression on stardust shit would have been hilarious you have to incorporate more Miss Piggy into your I don't joke around with women Judd Bronson from Canadian I finally got a job again celebrating with two liters of Mountain Dew and Nogey BJJ rolling. Nice. Great show, Dick and Guy. Hope you get stuck in your mud. Tube Vito. Oink. Okay, Stu K for two. It was the biggest problem in prison bonus episode. That's a good idea. Yeah, okay. That's not bad. Sure. Yeah. Nick V for ten. I was listening to y'all while playing Galaga and was able to make it to my first kill screen listening to y'all show Wow much love to the both of you. That's awesome. The original Galaga? Yeah

You gotta play for a while to get to the kill screen I would imagine how many hours did that take? Is that the one where they go like weeeeerrrr Yeah, it's like space invaders, but they swoop. And you get another one? You can get two ships if you let one ship get captured. Remember that? Yeah, I hate that shit. It's too much stress. Letting your ship get captured? Well yeah, because then you're like, well, am I a different guy? Well, I guess you're right. Why are there two ships? Am I... It's freaking me out, man.

Well, maybe they captured the ship, but you eject, get into a second ship, and then recapture your first ship and wake it up. I don't know, man. It's tripping me out. Well, you know what? It's from like 1985. I don't know man. Okay well you know what it's from like 1985 you don't think that hard about it. Oglovich for two we're all pro knickers here at the biggest problem I should not have read that. Miao Meng Chang's for ten say please when you ask for soda you greasy piggy. Michael winning for two I hope I got the size right. Lawrence Delvaney for two Australian, alpha male pirate, ha ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. Vito Zwinder for five dollars,

a Fiat man, bitter over thoughts. You hate to see it. Alice for five, two B's. I'm not even gonna read it. They wear, you know what, okay. K to the Swiss for five, what would it take to bring back Dr. Phil era Dick Masterson, the return of the K.

A time machine? What do you mean? I hate women way more now than I did in 2007. If you did a Swiss for five, what would it take to bring back Dr. Phil-era Dick Masterson, the return of the king? A time machine? What do you mean? You gotta shave your head. I hate women way more now than I did in 2007. That's true. What the fuck you talking about? Well, maybe you gotta make a new book. Cypherson sucked us for five.

Recon wants something but doesn't want to super chat, say something nice to them. Fuck you, Recon. You cheap piece of shit. Johnny Rocker for two, upload failed stand-up. Noel will fuck up roasting it. Yeah, Noel will watch it. That's true. Noel's gonna watch your stand-up and then fucking piss all over himself He's got nothing else to talk about He's an expert in every fucking thing

The thing about comic books is but he loves all the these VTubers that are pretending to be pedophile or the VTubers are pretending to be little girls and then guys who want to fuck little girls are interacting with them and Noel's all about it. That's all of Kiwi Farms. Do you believe that shit? The VTubers are saying some weird stuff. Like I'm a little girl.

It's cool that you guys, that you weird fat guys want to fuck me and give me money Well Gators favorite and they're like I'm a little girl I'm 10 years old You saw the clip of Gators favorite Vtuber ranking sexual fetishes and put lollycon at the top Yeah, and said I don't really like toddler con all the time I like it sometimes and I was like what the fuck is going on here I'm like if you guys are making a joke this is a million times worse than any joke I've ever

fucking made and nulls how is your fucking daily gator going oh veto is a bad guy and he's watching people are going jacking off the little chodlers getting yeah I'm like what the fuck how are you I don't get it at all or like the shit they went at flamenco for where I guess some of it was like confusing but I was still like Okay, but you guys are all into that Are you all just pretending to not be into that because any time we look at like what you guys are talking about and it's light Here's beyond what's what we're talking about The stuff yellow flash is like hanging out with a guy who legitimately draws lollycon pornography

Yeah, flash is telling his is his 12 year old followers to look at animes and comics and little kids getting fucked by- and bringing on LolliCon artists to be like hey, this is my buddy You guys should follow him. Null is co-signing Fat women- fat- first of all fat women. The VTubers are fat or we don't know that they're not fat. So, assumedly they're fat They're in front of a computer all day. be toddlers They're fat and are egging on Fat guys who want to fuck them for what the fuck is going on here? Are we getting shit? I don't know all these guys are jerking off to the weirdest Japanese porn they can find But in their minds they want to be that it's this whole like trad shit where they're like

What the fuck is going on? I just want like a traditional masculine lifestyle. And you're like, well, your trad wife is not gonna let you jerk off to lolly con. She's gonna have a big problem with that. There's no such thing as a trad wife. Can you guys stop pretending to be paragons of morality? When I saw how close Null was to this universe

of women pretending to be children so that fat weirdos can pay them to pretend to fuck them. Yeah. This is a whole new era. Look, I just, as always- What the hell is going on? As always, everyone on the internet- And this is from us going, well I don't think cuties is child porn.

I mean I think it's a movie for women. I said I think it fits. And girls to learn about how they're getting preyed on. Right. I said I think it fits the Supreme Court's strict definition of free speech. People are like, why do you wanna fuck those kids? And I'm like, I didn't say that.

I think little girls need to know that guys are lying to them and preying on them. And you guys specifically, you're fucked. I just think if you're like in favor of free speech, you have to go, Yeah, you know, I might be uncomfortable with it, but I don't want to ban it, because then it's just gonna- you can ban anything. Yeah. Okay, well we're gonna go build an entire industry on pretending to be little girls and weird fat guys who wanna fuck us. Ha ha ha ha ha! I mean, okay, I don't think that's good behavior, but okay

I think it's I think it's a very obvious hypocrisy But these guys these guys all live in like a little bubble where they're like Where the guy knock yourselves out? Now you're going to convention where you're pretending to get where your gator at that convention was weird, dude He creeped out Gator was fucking creep that he creeped the pedophile out Gators at least as fat as say my name I don't want to I don't want to say go ahead say my name bro Is this like put the lotion on its fucking skin or else it gets the hose again? And then didn't want to say your name dude. Just leave it and the Vtuber was asking him

Are you preying on women or something and I'm like yeah, you're a creep What is his fucking reputation in this VTuber community? What is anyone doing there? What is going on? I didn't know Gator was He's at least as fat as me No, he's bigger I thought he looked bigger but fat guy, I have trouble

He's so fat his eyes are squinty As a fat guy it's hard to judge I like Gator but you know I looked at Gator and I was like That's bad, that's bad man I was like, whoa whoa, is Gator fatter than me? I didn't want to say it though because I'm like well I might have fat blindness fat guys have fat blindness. You can say my name. You can say my name. You can say my name. Bro she doesn't want

to say your name. A big fat guy. She doesn't want to be that intimate with you. Stop forcing her to stop forcing her to make an intimate connection with you in front of people. Stop. Just fucking s- just get that sh- this is making her very uncomfortable and fucking stop. Right? When a big fat guy walks up to you in JoJo cosplay, you probably don't want to engage in this weird like, hey, say my name. Say my name. I'm in your chat all the time.

Dude, I don't want to fucking say your name, man. Yeah. Like it's Call me daddy. All you guys daddy call me. Yeah, you say my name I say my name when I give you $5 super chats. Yeah, you're not doing that right now. That's online. This is weird That's still under my control Anyway, this is out of context people are gonna have to see this clip for themselves, but get it on. Okay, let's find it I think did I retweet it? No, I found a picture of Gator? Let's put it on. Okay let's find it. I think did I retweet it? No I found a picture of Gator and I was genuinely shocked. I mean I hate to

it's just it's so uncomfortable. It was the most uncomfortable thing in the world where I was like wait what do these women say about Gator that he like has this reputation as a huge creep because they were all like freaking out. Okay, stop. Look at this shit, look at this shit that's going on. Well, it's all adult men pretending to be children. This bitch is a cartoon who's, I mean, the woman running her is fucking disgusting. I'm not getting involved in that

cause I know she has a big fan base. What do you think, does she think she looks good? Do you think she looks good? I have no idea. Okay, so disgusting. Yeah, you're- Exactly. Guys, get on the ground.

Like her hairline is like a 60 year old man, like Homer Simpson hairline. Ha ha ha, you're so pathetic, oh my god, look at all you. You, lady- yeah, there we go. Okay, Simon says- Bro, this is way worse than furry shit. All these guys ripping on furries for so long Anyway, I can't follow any of this like There's a weird thing in the anime. I don't know what community it is, but just like this desire

There's gay. Oh, no. No. No, that was her saying that she likes toddler con. There's Gator. There's a big fat. I think did We got to watch it now. There it is, there it is. Where, where? Right there. This, okay. All right, so this is a VTuber thing where, at the anime convention, this VTuber, I guess, has set up, I'm gonna assume, a computer monitor

where people can walk up to her and talk to her. They all have that, though, all over the convention. It's monitors of fat women at home. Is this a VTuber convention specifically? Yes, yes, fat women stay home, They all have that though all over the convention. It's monitors of Vtuber convention specifically fat women stay home, and they and they control these little Cartoons and then guys why I mean I made one but I made it as a joke because I was like a fat guy I abandoned it. I abandoned it immediately because the joke was stupid It was a little jarring you should have picked like not a woman I mean that was the joke is like, you you know I was thinking like doctor girlfriend from a

Venture Brothers what if this little anime girl had a big fat guy's voice coming out of it, but I've never been in I've never been involved in the VTuber community because I can't watch You should have just had a talking pair of tits The only VTuber I like is that a rubber hose lady the one who looks like a I should have just had a talking pair of tits. With no head. That's funny. That's funny. The only VTuber I like is that rubber hose lady. The one who looks like a... I mean I like this! I would prefer to see a cartoon than a big fat whore.

Wouldn't you? I wouldn't go to a convention for it or allow them to bully me on livestream to get on the ground for them. If some fucking cartoon talked to me like this, I would trap her straight in the dip. I would also have the presence of mind to, when I realize I'm live in front of probably hundreds of people and I'm making an ass of myself. You can't talk to women like this, man.

I mean, Gators like... You gotta know you're making them uncomfortable. A Gator has never talked to a woman, I'm gonna assume. I don't know, alright, let's watch it. I feel bad doing this, but let's watch it. Hello! Well hey there, Rabba! Hi!

Do you know who I am? Yes, I know who you are. Yes, I know who you are. Who am I? The crocodile. The crocodile. Just leave it at that. Bro, leave it.

Fucking leave it. Crocodile, go, you're right, you gotta be right. You gotta be right. You gotta be right. You gotta be right. You gotta be right. You gotta be right. You gotta be right. The crocodile. Just leave it at that. Bro, leave it. Fucking leave it. Crocodile, go, you're right, you got it. Yeah, you got it, alright, so I just wanted to say it's great.

I'm a big fan, I'm excited to be here. I'm super excited to see you. That's it, she clearly doesn't want to say your name for some reason, and it's not a big deal. She's already uncomfortable. She's uncomfortable, make it okay, just go, well I just want to say hi, I'm a big fan and I'll get out of here. Crocodile man. You're so close. I fucking know who you are, you know, I don't want to say usernames, okay?

You know how I am. Leave it at that. You can say mine, you can say mine. Oh my god, stop, she doesn't want to say your fucking name. You're the crocodile. Yeah, you're right, hey, it's good to see you. Hey, hey, you recognize me. You can say my name. Say my name. Say my name. Say my name. You can say it It's okay. Say it. What your clothes are you doing dude stop? Okay, okay, I gave you my pass

Okay, you're gay That's okay, dude. Give me too. Yeah. Yup. That fucking- Aren't you glad you came to Ofkai? Okay, dude, give me that laugh again. He has no self-awareness. She's super uncomfortable and he goes, yeah. Aren't you glad you came to Ofkai? I'm so happy that I'm here.

What is the joke there? He's trying to buddy up with her. Like, look, we're in a conspiracy together. Aren't you glad you came because it's so pathetic what other people like I know that move he wants like the basis of a friendship is a conspiracy that you share together aren't you glad you came here like I mean can you believe these guys like bro you just made her so uncomfortable This is a... what were you thinking, man? Awesome.

Well, I'm glad you decided to come too. What's with the angry face? It's so weird. How do you strike out with a fucking cartoon, bro? What's with the angry face? I don't want to bro? Hahahaha What's with the angry face? I don't want to talk to you What's with the red flags? Yeah

What's uh... Are we gonna have to get physical? You're a weird fucking creep Are we gonna have a problem? Why you got an angry face? Can't you just say my name? Cause you've made her very uncomfortable I don't want to use your username

I, you know, I'm kinda worried I don't know about the box thing or something Yeah, I don't like, I don't want to get into that whole thing. I don't know you. You can say my name. Say it. Here it is. It's right here. Just read it. Dude, she gets so uncomfortable that she tries to like give him the, Ha! Okay! Just to get him out of there.

What's with the angry face? Well, it's like a sign that women have on their face that you should read and... A sign to tell you to find a different conversation approach And she actually had to go through and put it on and put it in manually. That's how bad it is Oh might be on a hotkey. You're so threatening that she feels threatened Thousands of miles away. Well, she knows abort. She knows he's a creep anybody reads this guy's Twitter knows he's a creep What are you planning to do at this convention? I was going around and buying entirely too much merchandise,

which we need more Kiki merch next year. He weirdly deflects to merchandise to like dangle that as a threat, right? Like, oh no, don't write me off, I'm buying merch. threat right like oh no don't don't write me off I'm buying merch are you going around harassing people no absolutely not okay I'm just kidding I'm just kidding I'm just kidding I'm sorry I'm just being a goose okay no I am a baby to silly goose. You know how it is. I'm gonna blow my brains out. What the fuck Hopefully biggest cross, okay wrap it up Yeah, wrap it up

You got nothing to say wrap it up. Well, I just came by because I wanted to I told you I was gonna pop in For just a minute. I want to say how proud I am of you. Me? And just amazed at how much you've been able to grow in the past year. It's awesome. What the fuck? Stop this. Thank you, my gosh. I'm gonna cry.

And if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have met Hexa either. So, thanks for introducing me to Hexa. Yes, yes, Hexa. I mean, I know there's a delay, but this is the most awkward fucking shit ever. I just want to say that I'm proud of you. He's proud. Well, yeah, that means a lot coming from Gator.

Wow, Gator's proud of me. I've really made it. And thanks for introducing me. Thanks for bringing me into your social circle, which I'm now in. So you should temper whatever your natural reaction is to that. Just so you know I know your friend you vouched for me. And I look forward to a lot more streams and collabs in the future. Yes! No I want to do more wizard 101 with her actually I've been harassing her to do it so. Alright wrap it up!

Yeah. Awesome. Well I have to take a picture with you. Awesome, awesome. Well I have to take a picture with you. Oh sure, okay. You have to take a picture with a Vtuber? So I can brag to Rand about it. It'll be salty. Who, you name-dropping who?

Is that Rand, the fucking crazy guy that used to be on with Ralph? What are you taking a picture of? A fucking computer? Gator, stop man Fucking stop You should have stopped after the kill stream That was the end Fucking stop man

I just make anime videos Nobody go to this shit Do not go to these fucking conventions This is bad This is bad news Don't do this shit man don't do this stuff to these girls well as this is bad as far as parasocial relationships go I think this is one of the worst ones you can pick this is bad man go to whores

you're not even having a parasocial relationship with a real person you're having a parasocial relationship with the cartoon avatar that they have invented, which is not a real person. Oh, do we get to see the picture? What are you taking a picture of, bro? Maybe there's a standee or something. I think it's just a computer monitor. It's this. It's her little thing. I think that's what it is.

Thank you so much. Yes, you too. You got the world's greatest Sawa cosplayer. Just wrap it up! Just fucking leave! Just fucking leave! God! She doesn't care about cosplay

and conventions she can't see Hello hello, how are you doing? Sawa, wow I didn't know you were going to make it Look at her excited, she's so relieved that he's gone Jesus Christ! She's like thank god a normal guy showed up Say my name Say my name

You can say my name You know my name Say my name That was more awkward than the fucking $300 dance I didn't want That's supposed to be awkward That's what the money's for I know She was a nice gal.

Until the end. You have to be. Until the end. Then she was a fucking bitch. I'm sorry Gator man, but that's bad man. That's bad news. Alright. He's got no self-awareness. It's so weird. Let's see.

Fawumborin for two. We're going to have GTA 6 before Super Cow. Yep. Shay Lips for two, Coffee Check got Vito. Generic Spaceman, oh, you missed one. It's got TBF Trade Coffee Beans. Oh, OK. Well, I play it back. Skaak, kaak, skaak.

There you go. It's reversed. Once Vito loses the weight, what are you going to rip on him for? I'm not going to lose the weight, so he has nothing to worry about. Yeah, don't worry about it. On the John for five Canadian. We got it. CypherDustuctus for two.

On the John is a liar. Oh, maybe he didn't get me. PW Project for ten. Looking good, Vito. Thank you kindly. Made your way in. Now I'm craving your big cock inside me. Was cool seeing all the ladies swarm.

I saw two before. Also the free trade super chat. Yeah, we got hit. CypherDustuctus for five. Rekkon wants to say something again. More nice things please. please Reckon I hate you. On the John for 2 Canadian play the Dick eats butt stinger not for two bucks. Yakub and Horlord for 2, Vito how you hate spooge but flate girl penis. Girl penis yeah. I don't suck the peen. Diamond G for 2 22, Cyphers and Sucked is Sucks Dicks. Sucks Dicks. So Tergery for 5 thanks for saving my Chuck Dicks and Super Chat Dick. You're welcome.

Nama Mai for 5, Vito and I know Dicks and Super Chat, Dick. You're welcome. Nama Mai for five, Vito and Alec, Nick will never see daylight again. Can you reveal his million dollar book idea? Boom. I don't know what you're talking about. Boom. Nick pitched a good idea to me.

PW Project for 199 says be fair. Boom, be fair. Sidewriters and Sucktists for two, do not be fair to this loser on mobile. Buster Rhymes for two, Yaira's name of embroidery shop in Okuyama. Hmm. Interesting.

F-Lol for two. Vito, please shout out Reckon's Ilya Dakamura. Cypher's sucked this for five. No, I'm going to refresh. You have to wait. Reckon seems to be doing poor lease. Please say more nice things. Stop.

Stop. There's going to be way more super chats. Way to fucking go. You're messing up my things. Stop. Stop. There's gonna be way more super chats. Way to fucking go. You're messing up my things. We just did a 20 minute segment on Gator. There's gonna be fucking super chats. Jad Dragon for two Australian. Vito, please renege the shout out. Okay. Hazmat again for two. PKA has rsk. What does biggest problem have? I don't know chef bingus for chief bingus for five. You don't need to be drinking during the episode next week You cuban whore lord you want your microphone back? Stop, that's terrible

You cuban whore lord for two the odyssey 2001 space odyssey The Odyssey 2001 Space Odyssey OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Yeah it was And the fucking monolith I know that movie I know what it is but it doesn't sound like that That poor anime girl was thinking with Gator was making her say his name She was in the OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHUS

She can't escape All I see is uh Stars Ok you Cuban Horror Lord for two Yellow Flash more like Yikes Young Gash. Getting fucked! Cameron's Content for five, Hey Vito June 6th was the two year anniversary of the idea of Vito's weight loss on the Dick Show. Look how far you've come. Look how much weight you've lost.

Lawrence Devaney for five, Australian Dick did you meet Gator in Knoxville? If so what was he like? I don't know about this youtuber shit I would have tried to stop it chud bronzer for to Canadian. Please stop the clip to wait late Australian call me by your name this shit is gross flag red flag Red flag how do you like that? Person bro if there was a video of me talking to a cartoon girl like that. I would Apologize say my name and jump off say my name say my name

You know what you can post my post my stand-up now because you'll never live up to the current face It's so pretty say my name Say my name say my name say my name proud of you. I'm Gator and I'm creepy I like little kids and I'm a fucking creep. I'm so proud of you Say my name, say my name. You feel these beats in my heart. I'm so proud of you that you introduced me to your friend And we know each other now. I'm looking forward to some collabs Now that you know my name. I'm looking forward to some collaborations with you

How you gonna talk shit on Twitter when again? Why would you go to a convention dressed like a big fat guy and have your name attached to it? Looks terrible. I don't know, man. As an ugly fat guy, I gotta, Gator, I got some ugly fat guy advice. Knock it off. You gotta figure out something.

No cosplay. He's like a- You lose 40 pounds, you can do a little cosplay. He's a guy that burns people online though now. It's like, well, you know, what happened was, well, Ralph is, you know... Fat guy cosplay is the worst cosplay. Lose 40 pounds, you can dress up like whatever you want. You can talk to women like that if you lose 40 pounds.

They'll love it. Yeah, they'll tolerate it. No cosplay over here. Maybe a wig. You get a wig. The next guy was a black guy that came up and she's like, oh thank god. Thank god a black guy. Get me away from this sick freak. Here, here's my impression of the second guy coming up.

Hey, are you glad you don't have to talk to that fucking creep anymore? Anything, anything, anything. I'll pay the cold toll. Creepo got out of here. You get to talk of here Normal human being Veedo's Brody! Step on the scaler and smash it to shat! Veedo's Brody! Veedo's Brody! Veedo's Brody! Veedo's Brody! Veedo's Brody!

Alright! It's the XL box today! Well I could have anything in it. Veedo, it could have anything in it. It could have anything in it. It could have a mother's milk. At some point. It could have two mother's milk. At some point somebody's gonna make like a giant size mother's milk.

It's gonna be. That would actually be cool. It could be a mother's milk piggy bank. XL, yeah. Will, what's it gonna be? Well I was like 300 in Vegas. Your penis woggle. You were 2.99 in Vegas.

You're way too fat in Vegas. Well, I- Totally inexcusable. It's cause I ate that Peter Luger the night before. How much do you think Gator weighs in that pit? In the night after. But Gator looks shorter than me. Uhhhh, I don't know.

So he probably weighs less pounds wise. Oh no, he must be. I've met him in person. He's got to be shorter than you. Well, Vito, he's decided to go for it. He's decided to weigh himself on the scale of destiny. Well it's actually your diet that doesn't work at home. The scale works fine probably. But it's the eating that's not working.

Oh my god! Oh my god! The air must be fatter in Vegas than it is here. What are you gonna weigh yourself again? Why? It doesn't make any sense. It's every time it's the fucking same. What do you think it's gonna be off by 40 pounds? Who gives a fuck if it's off by one or two pounds?

That's interesting. Two... well... Two? Good news. I told you that Vegas weight doesn't count. It was... I was drinking like a up a storm because the fucking it's so hot Well, you should do this water weight. I was drinking like eight pounds of water probably it's so Couple of hours what do you mean? There's a lot of drinking going on supposed to piss it out Well, I don't you know I got a big bladder all right 291 okay, I lost like nine pounds

bladder all right 291 okay lost like nine pounds again I think it was pounds yeah well at least that's good that means I didn't actually gain weight in Vegas well here's your prize I don't even know what it is yes you do no I don't here take it out I don't I really don't know what it is fucking lolly sex toys I'm gonna be mad no Gator absconded with all of those I don't know what it is make sure you more fuckin' lolly sex toys, I'm gonna be mad. No, Gator absconded with all of those. I don't know what it is. Make sure you pull it out. I mean, it's super heavy. I know it's heavy.

I don't know what it is. I've told you. It's heavy. It's some sort of a wrapped in bubble tape. Someone sent it in today. And I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. Could be...

Is this handmade? It's definitely good. Whatever it is. I know that. Do handmade? It's definitely good. Whatever it is. I know that. Do you have a knife? I have a knife. Yeah, use your fucking leather, man. Keychain.

I like this keychain. Say my name, scale! Say my name! I'm glad I didn't gain a... Is this a fucking Boogie's dragon statue? What are you talking about? Remember Boogie was gonna give me his dragon cuz uh oh this thing is completely broken Oh, what?

This is completely broken in like a million pieces So whoever sent this in Why did you spend it in? What did you think was gonna- all the wings are completely shattered off of this thing So I have a shattered dragon statue, that's what it is Where's the wings at it looks like a snake the guana? I got one wing here. Oh, that's too bad Oh, you gotta come on. What is this? What are you? How the fuck would that work you idiot? What are you retarded? Did this come from Amazon or did he pack it up himself?

He packed it up himself of course! We can send it back to get another one. I don't know where it comes from. What the fuck is it? What are you talking about? What is it? It's a dragon! Why do you have a dragon? Do you see the wizard? It's spilling everywhere. Do you see the wizard inside it?

Yeah. That doesn't work like that. It does it does work okay so I have a broken when you went the wrong way all right so I was what is all this crap everywhere it's all the fucking dragon wings that shattered into a million pieces oh my god a bunch of fucking porcelain show has a real issue with people sending I know don't send fucking breakable statues it's a terrible of fucking porcelain. This show has a real issue with people sending statues. I know don't send fucking breakable statues It's a terrible thing to send. How the fuck were the wings gonna survive that? How the fuck were wings these gigantic wings supposed to survive

You had to get really creative with the packaging Look at wait look at this shit look at this look at. How the fuck was that gonna survive in bubble wrap you idiot? Look at this shit. Well at least the wizards okay. Maybe I can break the dragon off and just have a wizard encased in plastic Okay, so this is going in the trash. I think maybe we can put it. No you can't throw it away What do you mean you gonna put it back in the fucking box? You can put it back together I'm not you gotta take it home. I'm not gluing a dragon back together. Well you should I'll sell it. I'll sell it online if anybody wants Go to my whatnot subscribe to at veto comedy and whatnot. We'll sell cool looking like the shitty

There's so many pieces. I just cut the way off right there! Dude, the whole thing is covered in fucking broken pieces! Bro, that would look really cool if it wasn't all smashed up. I know, right? I gotta be honest with you. Well, I guess because I didn't get Boogie's dragon statue, now I have. Now you still don't have a dragon statue. No, I have a regular serpent statue, because it doesn't have wings, so it's not a dragon. Hmm.

Well, thanks to our idiot fan for thinking you can just wrap it in one layer of bubble tape you to wrap each wing individually in bubble tape You can't just wrap the whole thing and bubble have to send it in like a yeah You have to get a styrofoam they make those styrofoam things that will like mold to the size of it I don't know how that he thought that was gonna read to buy the packing things and like carve out a little yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's gotta be it's gotta be stiff All right. Well, we got any super chats congratulating me on being so skinny 290 I mean I'm just hovering at 290. It's like fucking glass now. I know it's like actually dangerous We have to throw all this shit out. You know, how do you feel about the modding community? I don't give a shit

You're retarded who cares about any of that? Stop modding community. I don't give a shit. You're retarded. Who cares about any of that? Stop modding. Call me by my name. I want to thank all our members on YouTube. I want to thank our top supporters on Patreon. Let's take a look at that. Oops. Right there.

Right there. There it is. No, wait. That's something else. Hold on. Where the fuck? Oh, there it is. Why are you scrolling around?

I don't know. OK. There we go. Hold on. Where the fuck? Oh, there it is. Why are you scrolling around? I don't know. Okay, there we go. The dickheads are destroying the veto files. You're getting fucking dominated. Well, it is what it is. The fact that I have any veto files is frankly a triumph. After all the shit I say on this show. I can't believe this.

This is a disgrace. This is worse than at least two mother's milks I've never seen someone almost get raped over a computer. I should not have done that Just making it more of a mess. I know it's a huge mess. Thanks to our sponsor I know it's dot cash. All in one I know it's dot cash. All in one dot cash. Don't forget you can get the app on Android as well as iOS. All for one. All for one dot cash. You think skater is very inappropriate. I want you guys to win ten thousand dollars and spend it on Getting Gator banned from any public. I can't wait to read Gators Medicare impression when he fucking Assaults me

Honestly there was like a period time where I'm like this Gators guy is an asshole, you know I hope he's not like tweeting fucked it and after that I'm like, oh, I don't care about anything Gator says Jesus Christ Well, you can just have a little anime avatar and he'll do whatever you want. Anytime Gator tweets anything, please post that clip. And go, hey man, you gotta learn how to talk to cartoons because this is a disgrace. He doesn't care though. Does he not?

I don't know. No one who goes to that convention has any sort of shame. Well, Gator's biggest disappointment is that he cannot become mr. Mediker despite trying desperately Yeah, he wants to be a medic her style personality. Although he doesn't put in the work, but He just is not a good broadcaster so bad And the black the cool black guy showed up and immediately she So bad and the black the cool black guy showed up and immediately Black guy there's definitely gonna be cops around watching you

Well guys we got a great show biggest problem dot show voted up patreon.com Biggest problem bonus episode next week probably gonna be biggest problem in prison oh yeah okay I think that'll be a good one alright goodbye goodbye take care God bless