The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 158

Episode Date: September 28, 2024

Lulululululululululululu Sigh Another one of these huh? Another one of these huh? It's just always, always the same That's not it! You don't know what you're talking about! I can't fix it but You don't know what you're talking about

I fixed my microphone of course And I know what the actual problem with the microphone is You don't! No it's this! It's this! You have no idea what you're talking about Well I had already fixed it and now you had to go. Show me how a pulley works. Just draw it and explain it. You fix something and then your dad goes,

you fixed it all wrong. And you're like, but it's working, it's working fine. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no. I was the one that told that to my dad. You fixed it wrong. That's not going to work. I guess that's true. I guess it did come from the son.

Dads are more lackadaisical about a certain things. It can go both ways. I think that is the heart. That's not a dad thing. That's just an idiot thing. I'm gonna say the heart of a father-son relationship really is like trying to catch the other one fucking up. Yeah. To establish emotional dominance over them, where you go, oh, your dad tried to do a hookup.

Not emotional dominance. It's emotional dominance. You don't know how to hook that up right. Yeah, your dad tried to hook up the Blu-ray player, and it keeps going in and out, and he's going, oh, he's got it on channel three. What are you doing? That was a trick that they did.

Yeah. I learned of that trick, where they pretended not to know how to hook up the computers and stuff Because then you're stuck doing tech support, so now I don't know Yeah, my brother-in-law does it all my brother-in-law is good at computer stuff. He took shit up. That's what's important I don't hook shit up. I do get a lot of people for some reason He's got a lot more patience than me when it comes to hook shit up. Yeah It's also good when you've been out of the technology game

for a while, you know? Because I get like YouTube people going, hey, what microphone should I get? What camera should I get? Kill yourself. I don't want to hear about your fucking podcast. Get the one I got from 10 years ago, because that's what I'm still using.

Nobody cares. You think I should get a mirrorless HDORs? You think I should get this mic or would this mic be OK? Oh, you're going to talk talk about you want to talk? I have a conversation about it. Is that the end? Is that what is this what women deal with all the time like these fucking shitty questions making me do work? Yeah, cuz you want to talk about something cuz you want to stick it in There's a lot of making me identify with a woman with this stupid question

Dude there it is weird when a woman starts asking you technical questions because then you do want to sound smart, but I still don't know shit about cameras and microphones in the modern age. Seems like you just use your fucking iPhone. Man, you clearly are not into Bitcoin. Why? Because no woman has asked me a technical question in 12 years. Oh yeah?

Don't talk to that guy about any computers. You will never stop talking about it. There you go Uh, all right. Are you ready? Yeah, let's do a show Sound out is it working? Yeah, yeah, I can hear tell me if it's not working The only show that ranks every problem in the universe. From influencer slop to giving women the chop of their heads. Justin Gomez. Your host, Dick Master, joining me as always is Philo DeSualti.

Hello, Dick. What's up? How you doing? Having a good time, feeling good. Not really. How are the cards treating you doing? Having a good time feeling good. Not really How are the cards treating you? Cards are good. Cards are good? Popping a lot of foils out. Popping a lot of them foils out. Okay I've been selling over on the whatnot platform having a lot of fun Are you making minimum wage?

Probably not I've done the math a little bit and I'm like I think I'm making less than if I just streamed video games normally You know and just got people like would super chat when I play games get like 50 bucks And then I crack packs and I'm like, oh man the profit margin on this is like 50 cents a pack This doesn't, this math is not what You go like oh man like hundreds I made like a hundred bucks in sales and you add it all together and the, you know what you gotta pay the platform and the amount of, you know, again the margins are bad but- Well you, you um, got me to order you-

Magic cards, yeah. Yeah, cause you had hit like the limit of magic cards someone could buy or something like that. They, they cut me off. Yeah, so I've been sitting on those and then you come in and you start ripping into them. Yeah. And as you're going through the cards, you're like, oh yeah, this one's worth like a dollar. And I thought, a dollar? How are you making money?

How is anybody making money? You ship that once and that's done. Yeah. It's, I think the profit, I think most people lose money on the cards more the thrill of opening them, you know Yeah, and then like a kid. It's like that. It's like gambling on a long enough timeline You're gonna lose money but along the way how is it not like it's exactly like gambling Do you ever watch the guys and they're on a slot machine and like oh my god, I just hit back for 60,000 I just broke even for the month and you're like, oh, that's not not good that's imagine winning $60,000 and you're excited to break even but that's

gambling man yeah I don't know everybody's living for the Lebron at least at least Pokemon Magic cards aren't like the the sports cards right now why what's that I don't know like a hundred they'll sell you a thousand dollar briefcase with like five cards in it and and the cards it'll be like oh guys on a helicopter, and there's a chance. It'll look it'll crash Well, yeah, that's all I think everybody honestly cards in there, too A lot of guys owning the cards are like man I hope this guy dies cuz then the supply will be like less yeah, yeah for I was they have cards for his daughters No for all the kids are on the plane that would have been cool. Just the one daughter.

Did you see the statue of LeBron James and his daughter? Uh, that they put up? And I'm like, is there like a little plaque that explains 12 other people died? Like it wasn't just him and his daughter. There was a bunch of people on that helicopter. Oh, who cares? I care! That's fucking weird! Wow, but is it like a shitty statue?

See, here's the problem. If you're a nobody... If Seth MacFarlane had died in 9-eleven We'd be getting a statue of Seth MacFarlane. We wouldn't even talking about that. We could shit on it Put it in blackface. We could do all kinds of fun stuff. They named you know Ellis Island Where all the immigrants came over? What do you mean who's the guy little Haiti Bob Hope Bob Hope always entertained the troops or whatever yeah, so at Ellis Island They're like and here's the Bob Hope library And like well, what does Bob Hope have to do in Ellis Island?

They go well he was an immigrant and he came through Ellis Island Did he work here didn't live here? No he came through how does he? He's whiter than shit. I don't know. I'm pretty sure it was Bob Hope He's whiter than shit. I don't know. I'm pretty sure it was Bob Hope They really annoyed me with Hamilton. They named him part of Ellis Island after him. They were saying like they're all immigrants They're all immigrants like um you guys understand that we're not talking about white immigrants, right? Yeah, that was the only problem. No one has a problem with that. Like are you guys do you really not know that or is this? We had a bit of a problem at first the Italians of course face Irish need not apply yeah, there was people I remember it was like a controversy where they're like Why don't we name Ellis Island's library after like somebody who had something to do with Ellis Island and not just Statue of Liberty

I don't know like the guy who designed the fucking building or something okay? Speaking in New York the mayor going down should have voted for, should have voted for Yang. He was getting zins. Dude, he was getting all... He was getting free zins on the side. Why don't you toss me some zins? Toss me some zins.

Is that what they call their money in fucking Turkey or whatever? No, that's... Turkey? What's a zin? What are you talking about Turkey? I thought Turkey is where he was getting all the fucking bribes from. Oh, I don't know. You haven't looked at the fucking...

I saw that was in zoom play There was some kind of influence in ends. I got a little packet of skull. It's like space-age snooze or skull They were given him a nice tobacco. They're giving him tobacco tobacco Yeah Well, you had a lady using this seat. Yeah, she likes it turned out. There we go. There we go in this seat she likes it turned oh there we go there we go Dalish was on the show. I love it turned up when they're in here unlike you. I love it all. Nothing happened. Nothing happened. Nothing happened. A little bit of a spill. A little minor spill. Alright who won whatever. Credit card interest rates yeah boring from. I know influencer slop. That's a good one. This is getting hammered. I should have brought that in

Turn the AC up turn the AC up. Oh, yeah, you're a big labor Law my big leg. I'm Right now, it's more like you got to run a professional production, you can't be putting your people in a- at risk. I thought that's the whole point of his show, being at risk. No, no, no. If you're doing a bunch of high crazy stunts or whatever, the people were sleeping in poo poo they said on the Mr. Beast-

Gives a shit. Game show. Fuck him. Yeah. If you're going on his show, like, if you die, I don't care. They're trying to win money. Yeah. Even funnier. The Mr. Boos game, Scott, I hate it. Getting rid of a body lasts.

I don't understand why that's why that was voted down. I don't know. It's a fun problem. I think maybe no one thinks it through as thoroughly as you do. Well, now they should. Now they should. Well that's that, but that is the problem though is because here's the problem. The audience is expecting that they will never have a dead body to have to deal with. Right.

And it just creeps up on you. Well, yeah. One day you wake up and you go, ah. I can't believe your life's like that though. I can't believe that hooker was so mean to me last night. Thankfully I took care of her, but now I got a mess on my hands. She made fun of how fast I came inside of her. I didn't even come inside her and now I got a body. Oh God!

Anyway, that's from a movie, I'm pretty sure. KingYarev says, Why does MrBeast only talk about the good parts of his product? Does Vito not know what an advertisement is Do you okay? Just advertise that it tastes good. Don't say it's healthy I've got electrolytes if he said it's like the tastiest fucking lunch snack. I'd go. Well, that's an opinion I can't argue that it's got fucking electrolytes, bro That's where it's like the idea that you couldn't argue with an opinion is if it's from mr. Beast is a bit hard to swallow. I mean, I think every food company says we got the best taste in burger, we have the

best taste in nacho. Fox Foley says, Vito trying to rationalize his hatred of Mr. Beast is one of the most insane things I've ever seen. Synthetic Shinobi says, anything other than Swiss provolone or mozzarella is bad for you because of the tremendous amount of salt. I'm fat and a chef. Regularly eating anything other than mozzarella, Swiss or provolone will assuredly result in heart failure. So he's a doctor now too, in addition to being fat and a chef.

Anne Saxelby was a thin white woman who died rather young simply because she had a heavy cheese diet as a cheese monger. I actually saw that comment and I looked it up and I was like who the fuck is Ann Saxlby? Why are you looking this shit up? I don't know because he like cited it like it's something I should know. He's not any of these. He's probably fat. He's not a chef or a doctor.

Well she was a... You go to the chef a lot? Hey chef, how's this going to affect my heart? Should I get more exercise when I'm eating this meal, chef? I don't know man Gordon Ramsay made these morons think that they have more than just shit and appetizers for brains All I know is Anne Saxe will be the queen of artisanal cheese did die young of a heart problem, so Heart problem?

That's what I learned Yeah, that's what both of you are sharing this information now She made cheese mongering popular again, dick I like to investigate things that are interesting She did not That's what it of you are sharing this information. She made cheese mongering popular again dick. I like someone see I like to investigate things that Are you not? Popular said that like I know she made cheese a thing again No, it was always there at the period of time where I was like fuck this shit And then a good old and Sax will be showed up to like what about this cheese?

No, fuck you. Give me a hamburger like a man sick of cheese. Well, fancy. Bourgeois cheese. Stoy says, girlfriend nutritionist, screaming at Vito's, real cheese is bad for you, has now bled into and ruined my Saturday morning. Thanks Vito. I don't even, that one I also didn't understand. So your nutritionist is saying cheese is good?

Um. They're pretty well established. Real cheese is not great for you. Screaming at Vito, real cheese is bad for you. So she's screaming at me for saying- Vito's, you said real cheese is bad for you and she's saying that's retarded. Because it is obviously retarded. I think cheese is not an important part of a diet.

I think it is a lot of fat and salt. Sugar? No! Protein. Enthused carrot, maybe Vito isn't the best person to pick apart the nutrition of a sports drink. Well, I don't know, he's got a microphone. Okay.

Penex90, I wish I could vote to turn the AC up a million times, holy shit, yeah. I did not agree with that problem, because turn it up, make it colder. Well, good luck. You'll get there one day. Turn it up. When you have your luck you get there one day turn it up You have your first argument with somebody crank that cake can turn up the air turn up the air that means more air There's a lot of cheese comments really yeah We're saying just crazy crazy things I said that

The people who say cheese food is Unhealthier than regular cheese. It's like basic on par I can understand this idea of this Cheese with a low salt content being better for you. Okay, that's interesting with the mozzarella Most people have fat idiot just said Fucking what do you call it cheddar cheese American cheese American cheese is a cheese fruit product. I don't American cheese? American cheese is a cheese fruit product. I don't know.

OK, Case Man says a shitty influencer product is still better than a promised influencer product. I have no idea what that means. Ryan McGibbon says Dick has no idea how ratchet straps work. Wow. You just put them on. You put them on. And then you yank something. You ratchetatchet it down and then you press the button and if it doesn't unwind you just cut it and throw it away and buy

Any ratchets? Yeah, that's our actually cut it cut it off with a knife and if it doesn't go all the way you say fuck This I got better things to do than bust my fingernails working at this Thing I'll have to do it Kid Cudi says the biggest problem is people telling you they're busy. No, you aren't. You're just lazy. Yeah, but you're busy being lazy.

That's a thing. I guess so. I think your friends just don't want to hang out with you. Depends where you are. If you're in one of these towns where you can get around, sure. But then I get invited stuff in LA, and I'm like, oh, man. You want to go?

I want to go. You know, it's at Man's Chinese Theater. I wanna go see Megalopolis. What's that, like an anime? No, it's the new Francis Ford Coppola's Dream movie starring Adam Driver as a psychic architect trying to save New Rome as a... I don't think this could get worse. Is there any...

If you see it at the Man's Chinese Theatre, it has the part where a man in the audience gets on stage and talks to Adam Driver. Oh! Wow! That sounds like the worst experience of my life. Oh yeah. So most theatres, I think that scene is cut or somehow changed. A guy who sucks talking about imaginary buildings and Rome.

A real guy has to get on stage and talk to Adam Driver. Adam Driver gives you a slideshow presentation on his penis and how special it is. I think Charlie LeBuff does that part. He's also in the movie. Yeah, but he's like, he's too cracked out. I don't mind him. Apparently he's really good in the- he's all fucked up. Apparently this movie is a complete disaster, but Shia comes off looking pretty good. Yeah, he's good. And Aubrey Plaza apparently knocks it out of the park. God damn, it did get worse! Again! And Giancarlo Esposito and it's got Laurence Fishburne. All

these weirdos are in the- people are comparing this to Southland tales Which is one of my favorite movies of all time just a big stupid clusterfuck of celebrities Is Laurence Fishburne trying to like act like he's got more than the matrix well every role after that He's like talking like hey, I'm Lord like bro. You're not that not more They got him to narrate the trailer, and he just sounds like Morpheus. Yeah Yeah, exactly like he's embarrassed by it or something now. He's a great Stop I want metropolis to be part of the matrix cinematic universe. Well have fun with that. It sounds like shit October is gonna be lit. Oh spider said something about sodium Cool October is gonna be lit.

Patrick said the biggest problem is steroid temptation. Have you ever been tempted to get on steroids? No one's ever offered. You want some steroids? Yes. I don't have any, but I'm sure somebody could hook you up. I think it would be really funny, and I should do it. You have to work out though.

Yeah, I'll do that. If I had steroids and you told me like, all right, you got to work out while you're on the steroids, I would do it just to see what happened. You'd get muscular. Yeah, that'd be fucking really funny Like Carrot Top it was funny when he did it. Yeah, it was hilarious Doesn't Joe Rogan probably do all these guys are doing right? Yes, they all do Testosterone or whatever. Yeah TRT. Okay. Well if OK, well if anyone has a hookup for VDOW. I should only do like one arm, though, for maximum hilarity. Except one fat arm and one jack-off arm.

Like a jacking off arm? Is that what you're saying? Yeah. OK, well that's my, that's the comments. Fantastic. Do you have any songs for this segment that aren't the one? Yeah, but I forgot to load them. Hold on.

OK. Uh. That's fine. I'm trying to think if anything else fun has been going on. Do you have any songs for this segment that are out of the one forgot to load them? Okay? That's fine trying to think if anything else fun has been going on did you make a stinger is that what you sent Yeah, but I fucked it up. I can fix it. Why I one of the lyrics is wrong. Oh How come because I didn't say voted up? After you rip on everybody else for doing well what cuz I was throwing it together before the show is why I showed Up a little bit late. I was like oh man. I'm almost there. Yeah, but then I realized there's a mistake So I'm gonna bring it in next week. This they didn't put their name in this one Vote it up or shut it you cuck or big fat whore Took all the reason I was voting for

You better not chuck no dicks in my ass as I go to vote once more Vote it up you cook, biggest problem to show That doesn't even rhyme Wow, that might be the best one. A little bit of hockey talk there. We haven't had that before the show. And he didn't put his name in the files. I know, well, Horvodet was.

Our mystery hockey talk man, thank you for hooking us up on a new segment. That was great. Of our popular format, Voted Up, where we revisit past problems. And put them in a new light. Yeah, where we revisit past problems put them in a light dick from episode 96 I saw you did a survey on this. I did do a survey Because I was arguing like me and you I was like I was like voted up now. That's a great segment, right? You're like Articles yeah, okay, you bring in comments every week? What the fuck's the difference? That's a segment.

I don't ask if this is a good bit. I'm like, should I bring in comments? They're like, I don't know. Well, I was just kind of like, hey, like, vote it up. Like, you're into it, right? And you're like, ehh, you know, it's there. Oh, you know. It's there. And I was like, it's like our news segment. It's like the news of the week. Like, every podcast does news. Your podcast does news. This serves a dual function of being the news and encouraging people to interact with the website. Yeah, but you were like so fucking, I was like, oh man, I've been so zazzed that I was like, you know, I really contribute to this show. I came up with a great format. It's fucking news articles!

Yeah, but we weren't doing much work. When we started the show, we weren't doing news articles, and it is work. I can't just find random news articles that relate to the problems on the show. There's a fucking song every time People send you these. Give me a break. No one sends me these. No one sends me these. That should tell you everything you need to know right there What it tells me is that people don't understand the format Because people send me a picture of a guy's dick getting cut off and they go look Circumcision voted up and I'm like it has to be a news article. It has to be a news article Look at this picture of my dog vomiting

Going to the vet right there, can you imagine that sir? Yeah, so check out this. I don't understand why Tommy Tuber Tits sent in a picture with a dog throwing up. So go vote that up. I don't understand how the fans have listened to the show for 50 fucking segments and haven't figured out that it's news articles. That's the format. I get that for Fat Watch all the time. So people send in an edited video. A picture of a fat lady.

No, no, no. That's what I want. Picture of a fat lady doing things that lack self no. That's what I want. Picture of a fat lady doing like, things that lack self-awareness, or articles and shit, and they'll send like, here's, it's a video and it's like, the sound of like a woman falling on the stairs, but it's like a bowling sound, and then a black guy going like,

whoa! And you're like, that's not... That's not it, it has to be raw. It has to be unfiltered. It has to be normal. That's how they get you. Dick, from episode 96, I believe you brought this in, the problem of charity fraud

This applied to a certain African American individual at the time. Eric July. Well now it applies to a certain European African individual, Dick. British supermodel Naomi Campbell has been- She's still around? She's still around. Is she still hot? Is she still skinny? She's- well the picture I saw of her, I don't know if it was outdated. Like, she's old now. Yeah, but black doesn't get old. Black don't crack. What? Black doesn't get old? That's definitely not the saying. British supermodel Naomi Campbell has been barred from working for her own charity organization for the next five years

after being found guilty of financial mismanagement by UK regulators. Her charity Fashion for Relief, founded in 2005, raised 4.8 million euros over the last five years but sent only 389,000 to its partner charities, less than 9%. She shouldn't have to send any. Tens of thousands of pounds were spent on luxury hotel rooms, flights, spa treatments, personal security, and this is bad, cigarettes for Naomi Campbell.

I mean, come on, that, you gotta stay skinny. So she is still staying skinny. She's gotta get those menthols. How can she be getting charity if she's not out there? You always make it way too racist, man. What are they smoking? Okay I'm sorry fags that's what they call them in Britain she's smoking a pack of menthols. Just one! Campbell's charges also included running a bill at a three thousand euro a night hotel room and paying four thousand euros per person. Do I have to remind you of this? What? I'm just using what they call them! You know what?

That's really the secret to what you're not allowed to say That's true Anytime anybody has ever said That's their word for it Doesn't go well If they can sing it in that money for nothing song What's the problem? Anyway guys, charity fraud currently

Money for nothing and the chicks for free yeah? Move these Hennessey bottles Zipper tits Color TVs Charity fraud currently number one for I don't remember the n-word being in that song It's best the beginning of the song 44 voted up

N-word Isn't that that song? I want my N Uh NTV From Trees That's Anthony Kumia's remix God damn it, Kumia Will not calm down

Thank God there's one comedian that's like overtly racist Because then everyone can make racist jokes and say that's what he would say Yeah That's what that guy would say That was my Kumia impression I was doing a little Kumia there Oh yeah, yeah I don't know if you saw today on Twitter Kumia adopted a uh That was my Kumi impression

Kumi adopted a he found a cat on the street a black cat that was like running around Everyone's in there and they're like, yeah, you should name it. What? Yeah, they're all coming up with all sorts of fun names for his little black kitten. I'm like, oh cool me Somebody said they should name it Patrice and I'm like, well, that would work. That's nice. He's jackpot. He was thinking, oh man, finally. Ooh, finally my comedy's kicking into high gear. Well, Dick, this is one, if you wanna bring up my Twitter, I retweeted a video.

This is from all the way back in episode 29, the problem of pedophiles, which we all disagree with, which we all do not like. Pedophiles. I'm starting to come around I'm not there with all the doctor disrespect stuff No, no, no. Oh, did you see the quarterings fucking newspaper shut down? That's the second time that guys had a news site like not work because he tried to do a video game site too Oh, yeah, yeah video game site. Where you get other people to do all the work and then you make money that didn't work for him Yeah, he's very bad at running these things and yet he keeps telling Elon Musk to let him run. Be the CEO.

He was begging Elon Musk for a job Well dick this week fans of the internet podcast Keno Casino were not even slightly shocked as it was revealed that a member of their fan community was caught on camera attempting to meet a 12 year old girl for sex. And a video shot by Predator Poetriar Alex Rosen, the Keno Casino fan name drops his favorite podcast before being arrested by Tennessee police. So here we have the video. This is of course, again this man has been caught

trying to sex a twelve year old to meet up with her for sex. These two guys who call everyone a pedophile. This is one of their biggest supporters. This is one of their buddies in the black shirt here. Don't show me but if I were to search it up, could I see a YouTube video on that? Which one do you want to see? The review tech and the drop box shit. You ever watch Keno Casino? Nope.

Okay, well they've talked about it too. Oh wow, the show's hosts have thus far avoided comment, although host Andy Worske in the past has been exposed for sharing vile sexual images of underage girls So not a good look for the boys at the Keno Casino Guys, if you don't like pedophiles, it's currently number 25 in the list pretty high might want to go vote that one up It's pretty bad They're trying to say it was an op They're trying to say Ralph hired that guy

You know where Ralph would look to hire a pedophile? They're trying to say it was an odd Ralph hired that guy You know what look to hire a pedophile To call the reason I was voting for Let's hope it fucking stays that way that baby Realized today now being his problem Let's hope it fucking stays that way. That video made me realize something. No. Biggest problem that I've shown. If you're getting arrested for a sex crime, please send more of these.

Please don't mention the podcast. No, do. Do mention. Mention my show then. I don't care. First of all, that Alex Rosen, is that his name? He's really good at that. Yeah.

Getting in there. Have you never watched one of his videos before? No, because I hate that kind of content. Yeah, he really makes them think they're buddies somehow. And what's crazy about this video is that guy knew his channel. Yeah. And knows every single tactic he uses of getting close to the guy and being like, it's cool, man. Sometimes I don't even post these videos, whatever.

And he still fucking just talked to the guy for like an hour until the cop show. Well, because he's like a priest. He's never never been able to talk about this stuff. It's crazy. He gets these guys to say crazy shit. And he's gigantic. So he's... I think they are intimidated. They're like well, I shouldn't run away. This guy's huge. I can't kill him. Look at him. He's gigantic.

So I like his content and I've never seen it before. That's great. I thought it would be different. He's an interesting guy. But the second thing is, I think when you run a show where you're constantly calling everyone pedophiles, you draw more pedophiles to that. Because they can like join in on this pretend. That's a good point. Like you make it so silly and non-threatening,

like the concept that you're drawing in child abusers and pedophiles into your audience. Well, because all those guys- Because you're talking about it all the time. The pedophiles are just hearing like, yeah, yeah, child sex, child sex, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, them, yeah. Yeah, well they like the topic.

They like to externalize it too, where they get to go, yeah, well, all those other guys are shitbags. I hate those other guys. Like football fans will go watch a football talk show. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, this is basically football. Same thing. You know?

Yeah, it's not as good, but it's still kind of good. It's all very interesting. Disturbing. Hey, you had Colin Schumacher, is that his last name? Did he call into your show on Friday? No, it's this weekend. Oh, OK, because he's another guy. He catches these guys, but he game show-ifies it What's he called the game show? It's pretty good. It's like fuck I forgot. I forgot. I like that guy. He needs a good name for it Anyway guys, Pedophiles voted up currently number 25. Okay, and you are the you are the winner with credit card front

Yeah, boring. Boring. Here's a good problem for you hurricanes Mmm, that's my problem Here I am Rock you like a hurricane. Yeah, that was pretty bad. What all the hurricane references? Yeah Actually that guy floating around in his kayak. I did see that that was really how I was like, why are you doing that? Yeah, every time there's a hurricane you get to watch these people like Laughing around. Yeah goofing around. Why would you not during earthquakes? No one's goofing around here What I didn't understand is why are all his lights on?

Shouldn't you shut your like power off if there's a your house is flooding well because All these people who get hit in hurricanes are on a target and we keep saving them Yeah for whatever reason yeah Trump 2025 has it say won't be saving them anymore and the problem will resolve itself Right, but we keep pulling them out sending in FEMA. Oh, you Trump say that was that part of project 2025 deal with it I don't have no let's do it. No anymore Doesn't matter anymore matters. There's no nobody's policies make any sense on anything Yeah, I watched those hurricane videos. Yeah, everybody's goofing around the most

Devastating I thought I clipped this but maybe I didn't the most the most devastating natural disaster How about that? What is it? A hurricane? Hurricanes. I think I read that, but I didn't write it down. In terms of... I didn't write that down, so we're just gonna assume it. Just everything. Cats and dogs. Most people die... the most people who ever died was in the hurricane, I heard. Yeah. Yeah. It's like 10 9-11s every time.

Nothing gets made. It's like, oh fuck. Yeah. How am I supposed to hire? Should I hire an American to do this I can't do that I get I get invested for some reason watch it cuz it's all about the waters coming for you, right? Yeah, well first of all I remember when Katrina happened. I want to go look at this 40 years 1.4 trillion Oh, yeah, I did write it down. Okay, it came to the most costly natural natural disasters in the US whoa Wow Well that makes sense well Okay, it came to the most costly natural natural disasters in the US Wow

Well that makes sense well, we're because what else do we have anywhere else? Maybe yeah industrial explosions probably worldwide also I don't know he doesn't say worldwide, but why would it be two nami's are different from hurricanes Japan probably got hit more tsunamis What about karate kid to what happens karate kid to I don't remember You know they're doing the drums No, I don't remember at all. It's been probably 20 years since I've seen video game no Like this you know the move is that his karate move the hurricane turns Jewish and karate They should do a Jewish karate kid that would be fun interest on interest even more on I

Want a new karate instructor Kid no I said the Jew karate kid. It's gonna be amazing. Each karate lesson is $10,000. That's a little steep. You'll pay me back. We'll get you a loan. Did you say free karate? What did you say? $10 a lesson? That's a deal, but $20 a lesson? That's fine, I'll take it. I would watch the Juke-arate kid. Average cost per hurricane event is $22 billion. Whoa, wow. $22 billion of people's shit. I'd say my hurricane problem though is I'm like, you know, I remember when Katrina happened

and they're talking about the looters and all the looting that's going on I'm like, there you go. My problem is I'm not looting right now. That sounds like a lot of fun. That's the hurricane dilemma Yeah, do I want to just leave and live like a normal person? right or do I want to and then run the risk of a bunch of Kumeya Americans stealing all my shit. No, no, no, no, we're not normalizing that term. Put that one back in the bag. A bunch of people looting all my shit wearing my own clothes around my neighborhood or am I going to stay here

risk getting killed so I could kill looters? There was a lady, and now I'm thinking about it there was a lady on Twitter she was like some, cause there's been a lot of magic car and stuff lately So it keeps popping up on my feed and there was this lady who I guess is like a big magic purse She goes I couldn't get my fat or she's into I don't she's probably fat. I didn't see a picture I assume both

But she was like, oh my god, we had to leave I couldn't get my whole magic collection out before we left and I'm like, I don't think you should advertise that Cuz now I'm thinking I'm like I should just go to that lady's flooded out house and see which magic I don't get a fraud. That would be a good They all flooded away Meanwhile, she stashed him in the whole fossil set first edition exactly. I lost it all My dad's basement did flood one twice My dad's basement flooded and a bunch of our

shit got ruined because my dad doesn't know how to keep his basement from flooding. It wasn't a natural disaster from just pipes. Yeah, like pipes in Massachusetts just get fucked in the winter. So if your pipes freeze and burst, your entire basement gets flooded. Hurricane Katrina. Remember that one? Yeah, that was the cool one. Remember Kanye in that one? I remember arguing. Okay, wait, we had a high school debate class. I forget exactly what it was. It was definitely my high school debate class. And for some reason the concept of looters came up, you know, and you know, people were saying, oh, that's so horrible. How could you, how could you steal from, you know, people who've just

suffered this horrible thing? And we had this one fat black girl in our class and she went what they gonna do what I would have rusted out jewelry anyway and I For 25 it's been like 20 years since I was in high school And I still remember everyone turning to look at her and going I don't think it's rusted yet You fucking crazy. Diamonds don't rust you bitch. She said it in the most like stereotypically outland- What's- what they gonna do with all their rusted out jewelry anyway? Like it didn't matter, you know, cause it's all shit now. Like no, it's like golden diamonds, it doesn't rust and like-

Yeah, what we're experiencing is brass. Yeah, exactly. Oxidization. Most people are not wearing brass these days. Jewelry doesn't do that normally. Uh... Yeah. So I just- What was the answer that the teacher gave you that? I think we just moved along. Oxidization. Most people are not wearing black rings these days. Jewelry doesn't do that normally. Yeah. What was the answer that the teacher gave you that?

I think we just moved along. I would like to know what they gone do with all the rusted out jewelry. Yeah, I would like to know what they gone do. That was fun. We had a lot of kids busted in our school district for some reason. Where would you go looting in a hurricane? Oh, God. Well, you gotta, I don't know.

You gotta hit up the target, right? Oh I guess, yeah, maybe the gun store? There's not really very many gun stores. See, in a way, I am planning ahead because there's been all these assassination attempts on Trump. So you're planning for civil war? If one of them happens, I'm driving over to the target, I'm not gonna be the first guy in the door, but you know, I'm just gonna be sitting in the parking lot. Black Friday. Maybe a couple guys come by start knocking out the windows. I should go over make sure everyone's safe I just go in make sure everybody's safe and some of this target merchandise, you know I don't you know, I don't know a bad guy might take this and use it to

Go because somebody could take that and they could hurt somebody I better safely Take these legos with me driving through Inglewood with a bullhorn the target is unguarded Attention the target is unguarded Sure really try to get everybody else to well. Yeah, if everybody's doing it That's the worst part is I see the the flash mobs robbing the store and I go well that's horrible But if I was there, you know, but I wouldn't but yeah I'd grab a couple things. Yeah, you know The temptation is there. Hurricane, yeah, two hundred billion dollars that cost. Two hundred billion dollars That was the first time we get to see Kanye. That was great. Off the chain

George Bush doesn't care about black people and Mike Myers goes That was a different time because now a black guy says that yeah, I don't care. Yeah. Yeah, he invented it Yeah, he invented Zen. No this matters Let me see here 62 billion dollar hurricane disasters were recorded. I mean you get the point It's just a ton of people's I know how much you love stuff I do love stuff and this is messing up everybody's stuff every time my stuff is gone again when my dad's basement flooded Oh, man, I still have all my ps2 games, but all the manuals and They're all all the manuals and yeah, the inserts are water damaged. Why it's awesome

Because the discs I think will still run Okay, who cares though? What do you mean? I'm gonna toss the discs I'm how much could those be worth? Like, nothing. No, there's like PS2 games that like disc alone are like $80, $80, $100. $80 for a disc? Yeah, if it's like a Capcom, like, versus Marvel or something, if it's like a good RPG.

You got to start selling. You don't have much time left. I am selling. What's happening to Mediker? He's in a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle shell now. That's why I bought a super fancy printer so I can print replacement cases for all those PS2 games. That's the opposite of what I'm telling you to do. I know. You got a liquid ace. You gotta start selling. And then I got all these

broken consoles. I don't know what to do with them. Should I try to fix them? And then that's another fight. I shouldn't try to fix them. Imagine how bad it would be in Hurricane Word. It would be horrible. My stuff would be horrible. All your stuff's getting ruined every 20 years. It's better than an earthquake. See, I'm worried about earthquakes. Earthquakes, nothing. It's fun. You ever have earthquake nightmares? No.

I have nightmares of I just wake up and the ceiling just collapses on me. And then I'm naked and everyone starts laughing. No, that's a different dream. Those are... You really have earthquake dreams? Those are nuclear bomb dreams dreams those in nuclear bomb dreams. I want to nuclear bomb Well, how does that go when I hear when I hear on the fence go looking at the kids? Looking at the kids that's a way different dream and a lot more fun this one No, it's just like you know you hear a boom in the distance you see a fucking

This one no, it's just like, you know, you hear a boom in the distance and you see a fucking Mushroom cloud and like the fucking way thinking you're thinking that in your dream. Yeah, it's a nuke. You go. I'm just dead It's like it's like, you know, you're dead, but there's nothing you could do about it, you know It's just a wave of fucking nuclear blast Every Tuesday or so now I don't know like infrequently a nuke dream Wow, well cuz I I genuinely like whenever I hear like a big boom in the distance I'm like it's a nuke. I think I think there's a possibility. I'm like LA is a good target for a nuke How full of fucking mountains? What do you mean? Well, yeah, but you know government agencies here Sure, but I don't think new that guy's a new to military. No, no no no no you'd be like a dirty bomb you dirty bomb it you get a

Suitcase dirty bombs just gonna hit financial district downtown. Yeah, well that's true We're probably far enough from downtown to be out of the range of a dirty bomb. I think a new could get me here Probably a mountain probably not see right here What do you mean? There's a there's that well? What do you mean this you're on top of a mountain? They detonate the thing midair they don't detonate it on ground level. I'm still in a mountain. I don't think it works like that You might be okay Regardless new dreams you too. You're too. I think about you. I know cuz it's gonna happen man There's gonna be a nuke

So what are you gonna do die in the nuclear hellfire? Cuz I live in a populous city center. I should be living in the middle of country never dream about like having a heart attack No Forever on that front okay Hurricanes that's my problem. My point was those videos We got to see them goofing around and they're not funny and everybody talks about it Like you see that guy on the kayak. Yeah, that wasn't funny at all. That's the worst part It's actually funnier when everyone's stuff gets destroyed and you get to watch the women crying. Yeah. Yeah

Yes, water comes through the fucking oh my god Honestly like a Waffle House meets a hurricane where Femis trying to pick people up off the roof They're like I'm not coming like willingly Oh such a big deal about that. Like there's so there's such good people cuz we're so dumb We don't want to get saved by this some fancy helicopter, right? They're the salt of the earth working overtime to save all these people. The water is gonna go down You don't need to do all this Are we gonna have is it gonna be like Katrina or there's gonna be like a bunch of tents and shit

It's gonna be like that in the tree. Yeah, remember FEMA set up a bunch of emergency shelters or whatever after the fact cuz everybody's house was ruined I don't know everybody cry about their free tent. They got for free All right, be grateful. All right, that's your problem. Yeah, all right dick here's my problem and That's problem is a certain phrase that you hear more often now than ever He didn't do nothing You do not what? It's not just about one type of person. It's about all kinds of people. That's way worse than the Kumiya joke that I made.

No it's not, because anybody can say that. I didn't say a specific person said it. Pronounce it again. I said he didn't do nothing. Nothing. You want me to say nothing? I don't want you to say it at all. He didn't do nothing. He didn't do... He did not do nothing. Nothing. Which is a double negative which means he did something. But regardless, the problem is he didn't do nothing. Which he actually did. Which is correct because he did something.

Dick, this week Marcellus Williams, a 55 year old. You couldn't be more Italian. What? You had a big sandwich. You're like channeling, what was the old lady in Golden Girls? Sophie? They were all old. What was the old lady and golden girls? They were all old what do you mean? Who's they weren't all old they were young They're like 53 or something. I don't remember not Betty white

No, Sophia the old one. I don't want the one who like girls you watch the golden girls Pro it was hilarious Girls was amazing didn't see it. It's on after Price is right. Oh Are you home from school? Yeah, I despise school by school stay home I'm on time. I remember watching prices right when I was home from school. That was great I did not stick around for golden girls But I was playing Nintendo my friend Oh, yeah, you got a wheel the TV and get a wheel room even set up a mirror anyway What were we talking about? I'm like one of the golden girls for some old one

I'm the old Italian the level is more racist It's not racing fidgeting is next level you just peeled off a piece of office tape from this just stick on your finger It's keep my finger look now. I have easy access to my papers, okay? Marcellus Williams a 55 year old man Yeah, undiscernible race and conviction It was put to death Marcelus's shut up I won't keep saying wait the guy from fucking pulp fiction No, no Marcelus Williams has been executed this week by lethal injection

Despite his prosec injection despite his conviction Despite his race He was executed for murder Can you believe it? It's crazy Williams was put to death shortly after 11pm on Tuesday out of prison in Bontair, Missouri despite objections from prosecutors who saw Dave's conviction overturned

and even though the family of the woman he was accused of having murdered had agreed to life imprisonment Of course Williams. That's not in support by the way No, don't kill him leave him locked up for the for 80 years right? It's not a is not a statement in support of the guy I think it's more than I'm just saying like no let him rot. Yeah, let him think about it forever Yeah, it does not necessarily they didn't even want him executed. Yeah, they wanted him tortured

Yeah, they just wanted a different type Torture now for those of you who don't know this story what happened was that a woman was a paper Oh, I don't know. I lost her name. So I cut it off regardless She was a newspaper reporter and a social worker who was found stabbed to death in her home in 1998. She was a social worker. Oh, a bit ironic! It's always a little ironic. During the trial, prosecutors say that Williams broke into her home, found the shower running, and picked up a large butcher knife.

When she came downstairs from the shower, she was stabbed 43 times times in her purse and her husband's laptop were stolen. 43 is a lot. That's a lot. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh God. That's... 40, 41, what?

43? Two. One more. 43! Oh, the overhand. Jesus Christ, I'm tired. Wow Wow that was more than OJ did. Didn't OJ only stab her like 19 times? No, not zero times. He's innocent. No, well that's a- He did do nothing. He did do nothing. Is that what you're gonna claim? He didn't do nothing. Yeah, you're part of the problem my friend. No he didn't. Now I don't know if you guys have seen but right now all the left-wing type people on social media are very upset.

I saw the NWACP, which stands for the Nationalists. Anyway, so they're very upset. They called it a modern day lynching, which is not, that's not what an execution is. Lynching was like you hunted a guy down in the street. everything like lynching five like eight retards Yeah, no if the state does it it's not whatever we caught you now We got our one of our guys is gonna act like your lawyer Across 23 years now you'll be at this tree Five years from now for your appeal. That's a classic lynching right there.

Look at that lynching. 23 years of this. Way to go shitheads. That's how it was back in the day. They'd just all get around the tree and they're like, 23 years from now we gonna get this some bitch. What's your evidence? Well, he did admit to my friend that he stabbed her and then he sold all of her belongings

on eBay. I don't understand it that Kamala Harris made lynching illegal. Why how are we having lynchings? This is clearly her fault She should be blamed it is so we got a bunch of people going well Oh, you know did you know they tested the knife for DNA, and it wasn't even his DNA, and you're like oh my god Wow did that really happen who's no? Well, do you know who's DNA they found on the knife the prosecutor the prosecutor? He's fumbling around up there in the fucking court case like I thought that they got all this DNA off of it Cuz I didn't know I think what happened cuz I by the way we didn't need the DNA

Said he did it to his girlfriend and a fucking guy in the then he sold all of her shit Yeah, he had on him, so we didn't need the DNA. Sorry fucking CSI. Yeah, he admitted. They're like, well, did you sell her laptop? He's like, yeah, I sold that bitch's laptop. It's like, how'd you get it? He's like, broke in. I don't wanna talk about it anymore.

Like, he clearly did it. I don't know why everybody's going like. He's guilty. Yeah, he's just obviously guilty. Went through the whole system. But there's, I guess there's like this weird thing. Are there no innocent people in prison? Is that what we're learning with this?

Or no guilty people in prison, right? No, innocent. Like you mean to tell me that all the people in prison, you couldn't find an innocent one to make a big deal about? Because this guy's obviously not innocent. And even if he is innocent, he looks guilty as fuck. So you're telling me that there was nobody better? It's a pretty bad. Wow. Okay. I guess the system's great. He is one of those causes for you know where they go Oh look, you know as he you can see that the the court system is corrupt cuz this guy's gonna get set to murder

You know, he's getting the injection. You're like, oh he got injected. He stabbed a lady 43 times like nah What do you mean? oh, I got injected he stabbed a lady 43 times like nah What do you mean nah? I mean nah well they tested the knife from the prosecutors DNA was on it yet So the prosecutor did it then. I guess. The fact that he sold her laptop and can't say where he got it Oh, I found it clearly the guy who robbed her just threw a laptop on the street I picked it up, and I never brought up that fact ever This fucking dumb chick that I was arguing with about it's like well there's no evidence like well he'd said that he did it. That's yeah that is a form of evidence.

Like yeah that's called evidence. He had all of her shit in the car. That's evidence. Well there's no DNA evidence. And it's all like he had no alibi, he had no you know anyone to say where he was. His own girlfriend said he did it. He sold the fucking victim shit. It's just like cut and dry.

It's like, yeah, but here's I don't get it. So like there have been these, I guess people really want to like believe that they're smarter than the law and that the law is like so corrupt that like all these criminals, it's like, oh, we gotta save these people. They see this shit on TV and they're like Yeah, that's like then the cop comes in and he's like, oh this is gonna be a this is gonna be a long knife And then the who starts playing yeah, they want the guy to like confess on the stand and an explosive It's like no you just connect the pieces because they believe in Santa Claus

Yeah, oh now Santa's out there solving like real crimes But what's interesting races what was interesting to me or or at least this has been a phenomenon that has existed since at least the beginning of the American legal system or early parts of it. Wait, what do you mean? Well, do you know the story of, I guess not the earliest parts, but- Wait, we've convicted a lot of innocent people. Sure, but there have been some people who have been executed That's FYI where we went like oh well like who though like who's like a famous innocent person?

It's hard to think of one off the top of your head, but I could tell you the ones who weren't Here's the thing is like there were ones that would have been named, but now you can't aim him anymore Frank well Yeah, that's oh is he on your list no wait was Leo Frank? Leopold and lobe or no, which one's Leo Frank? Oh, he's No, wait was Leo Frank Leopold and lobe or no which one's Leo Frank. He's a different guy, okay? I forget Leo Frank. I had on my list Julius and Ethel Rosenberg your mind spies Spies working for the Soviets yeah, and at the time everyone said you guys just hate Jews. They didn't do nothing This is just anti-semitism and down. They didn't do nothing is also for... Yeah, it's also for them, like for the longest time. And like this was actually a

thing. So a campaign was started. So they were convicted of espionage in 1951 and they were scheduled to be executed in 1953. But you know, again, it got all these people were like, oh my God, it's just like a regular Jewish couple and the evil Americans who are just so- Wait, were they guilty? Who are so mad at the Soviets. They were found guilty. So a campaign- Were they not?

Can I do it in order? Oh no, I hate the fucking- Across the world, there were protests. Even the Pope appealed to Eisenhower. The Pope said, Please, Eisenhower, you can't kill this nice couple. That would be horrible. What accent is that for the Pope? It's a you can't kill this nice couple that would be horrible What accent is that for the Pope?

It's a Pope accent. I'm popin' I'm popin' it Pope, Pope, Mexer He's a New York Pope Gold? Defense is surged and of course it did eventually come out that there were, you know, once Once most of the Cold War was over and we started getting access to KGB documents They're like, oh no. Oh, they were guilty. Julius Rosenberg was like a huge fucking spy

He was like one of the ringleaders who was recruiting like all these other spies Okay, and then it kind of turned so then it turned from they didn't do nothing to well the wife didn't do nothing And you're like yes, she kind of did though. She knew what was going on Maybe she didn't need to be executed But like the kids have been trying to get her pardoned for like years and it's like, no, your fucking parents were fucking Russian spies. And like, again, this was a thing world for years.

I don't think that should be a crime. What, being a spy? Being a spy for Russia? That's a crime, unfortunately. Why? Cause you gotta- Doesn't that seem a little like fucked? You gotta register as a foreign agent, right?

Or else you're Tim Pool. Yeah, but why? it's the rules? Fucking nuclear secrets to the Soviets they give out the trigger fuses and shit so what those are our trigger fuses You can't just give them out man. We're gonna fucking Have them they're not belong to you at all long to Eisenhower who I respect. So you're telling me that you're having Nuclear bomb nightmares, and you want these people Executed look all I'm saying is you see how funny that is? They did do something, okay? It's not like they didn't do anything as has been claimed. Okay, okay

He was just legitimately a big-time spy and he was recording about the hurricane people. What about the hurricane the guy? Bob the Bob Dylan guy here comes the story of a hurricane. He didn't kill anybody did he? Yes, he did there was a Song the fucking the guy the song was about he was he got executed Murder that he did but back in Bob Dylan's time It was this like he didn't do anything with a guy I don't fucking know they did a whole movie about it I'm a movie of a guy Dylan Bob Dylan wrote a song about a guy who was gonna get a cute song. Yes, okay Oh, I remember the song

Okay, I remember something. I know it was about a guy What did you what did you think? hurricane Guy what did you what did you think about a hurricane? Okay, so it's about a boxer yeah, okay And he got he got popped for a benefit concert for a for a guy a boxer murder piece a Carter is his name is oh Yeah, Carter can pull acts of raising Carter hurricane Carterays. Agent Carter. Hurricane Carter, there it is. Just click on that, click on his name. Reuben. His name?

Reuben Hurricane Carter. He's named after the sandwich? Or is the sandwich named after him? Reuben Hurricane Carter. So he was wrongfully convicted. No, I think that's not true. I think he's actually guilty. So he was released.

I don't know, that's what Russell Emboss said, but my memory's fuzzy. It says he was released after 20 years in prison, but maybe they found more evidence later, so they should have kept him in there. Look, they want these guys out. Guilty, innocent, doesn't matter. Well, do you know Sacco and Vanzetti?

That wasn't the other one I wanted to bring up. You know those guys? No. Those are my guys. Italians. Bunch of Italian anarchists. Yeah. And they were accused of killing and robbing an anarchist

Oh, I'm Italian. It's in my blood come on a little bit a little bit anarchy take it to the state Shut them down. You know with your ubi Ubi on exactly I'm gonna spray paint that a on shit feel real cool Security guard was shot four times the paymaster was shot in the chest Cool. Okay. Security guard was shot four times. The paymaster was shot in the chest Then in the back as he attempted to flee the second the second vent is Eddie trials where you get that great Here's to you. Nicola and Bart song. I love that song. It's like there was a movie about these guys Bart Like Bart was his last name right then Zetti Bart or Sacco Bart. I don't know we kind of just Nicola and Bart anyway, you know everybody said there's no way these guys did it.

Clearly they just hated immigrants, they hated Italians, and of course because they were anarchists it was political bias. And then like 50 years later they tested Sacco's gun and they're like, oh yeah he killed those guys. The ballistics match perfectly. They're like, Vanzetti? It's always like the other guy might not have done it. They're like, maybe Vanzetti's okay. But Sacco definitely murdered that motherfucker. Yeah. So, uh, yeah, he didn't do nothing. It's a problem that is historical. It's not just now. It has always been said and people have tried to say, oh, that guy, that's a good guy. He wouldn't have done that. Yeah, but they really didn't do nothing a long time ago. Like, recently...

He go and they quote them people. Yeah. So sometimes... What about sometimes even Avery where do you go on that one which one was Stephen Avery that the guy that looks like a little gnome that's not gonna help and you know that's my looks like a little hermit he's like what did he do it looks like a wizard is that the January 6th guy no okay I don't know what crime did Stephen Avery commit cars. He had a whole car lot. Yeah car lot Tell him about a chapstick Actually the prosecutor it kind of kind of looks like you okay. He was gonna. He was wrongfully imprisoned He got out he was suing the cops for 20 million bucks, and then like he got popped for murder

Coincidentally right after that right after he got arrested for murder coincidentally, right after that. Right after he decided to sue them. He got arrested for murder? Yeah, and he's convicted and now he's in jail again. So he got wrongfully convicted. They said we fucked up, you were in jail for like 20 years, so we're letting you out, and he goes, I'm gonna sue you for 20 million bucks.

And they said, you murdered someone else, you're going back in jail. I haven't heard the story at all. Making a murder, it was huge. I didn't watch Making a Murder. Oh man, that would make you hate the government, man. Okay, I do know the story now that you are mentioning, but I did not watch the actual documentary.

Okay. What about that guy who got out of prison, you know, and he said he turned his whole life around, he went on Joe Rogan. And he had a body in his house. Well then he went and he murdered, was it a lady or a guy? Either way, he started cutting off their limbs

because he's like, I gotta get this body out of here, and it didn't work out for him. A lot of these guys are just criminals is the thing. Have you been watching a lot of like true crime stuff? I got a crime problem last week. I've been watching, uh, what do you call it? What's going on? Well, this this crime problem has been in the news. What's going on? I do watch a lot of those police interrogation videos. Why? It's just interesting to see stupid people not realize why they shouldn't talk to the cops Oh, yeah, just lead them down the road. They're like so the jacket, huh? Let's talk about the jacket. Oh, oh That's my buddy Tom's jacket. Yeah, what's Tom's last name?

Jacket fuck shit jacket Like did you ever see the one where the kids they murdered their friend and they're like, is great. I can't believe we murdered this girl, you know, cuz we love horror movies We murdered this girl. So whatever we do when we tie to the cops tell them we saw a movie We got an airtight alibi. We went to the movies. We saw a movie. Okay, and they're in there with the cops The cop goes what movie you see? Uh... Kid goes...FUCK! You're like you cocksuckers didn't decide what movie you saw?

Just go see a movie and then they're like, tell us the plot, tell us anything about the movie. He's like, there was a guy, you know, it was like some action or something. It was Adam Sandler. That's the worst. They should have just said it was an Adam Sandler movie. There's always an Adam Sandler movie. At the time they did the murders, there was always an Adam Sandler movie.

What did he do? He kind of went like this. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo You won't sell me no alcohol, dawg. I can't believe you won't sell me no alcohol. And the guy's like, you need an ID. You need an ID. He goes, yo, I'm 21. I'm 21. Or I was born here. I was born in this. And I said, hey, watch this. I said, what movies you see in

high school? What was your favorite movie in high school? And he went, fuck! What the? And I said, the guy, the liquor guy, went fuck hahaha haha the guy haha you got fucking god hahaha

shit what would it have been shit it's right now what would have been four years ago back to the future I was watching Paw Patrol or some shit four years ago! Uh, ha ha, uh, okay. That's a good catch. Rawr!

Um... Here's my problem. Hmm. It's, uh... It's co- let me load it up. Let's load it up. I'm excited at the last minute. The one I was gonna do.

Uh... One of these classic dick masks just in last minute problems. Shit! Where's my- I didn't open it! Damn it! No! Now I have to copy it! Oh, Vito, you know, I really planned for this week's episode about- Hold on, it's Heal vs. Babyface. Four minutes before you showed up, I decided. No, no, I have it.

Damn it, it's people who say that shit is AI, but it's not AI. Oh, yeah, that was, uh... Heel versus baby face. I'm not gonna lie, I think I got got on that one. I was confused. Oh, you got got too, huh? Well, I couldn't, I was like, I was like, what's going on here? And then I saw an explanation. I didn't think it was AI though.

Uh, where is this? Fat Idiot. Okay. Well, show the original one first. Fat Idiot number original. Yeah, so show the original one first. At the top. Fat idiot number one. What is this thing called? What is this movie called?

Thunderbolts? This movie is called Thunderbolts. It is from the Marvel cinematic universe. It features a variety of villains forced to work together to save them. Oh boy, this shit. Villains working together. It's just suicide.

Suicide squad. It's the suicide squad. We're done with all this like bad guys versus worse guys, right? Yeah. That's done. I don't want to, I'm sick of it. Well, that's all you're getting from now on.

I can't find this fucking, nobody has it. Type poster. Nobody has it good. Why don't you just type Thunderbolts? That's retarded. I thought it would come up. It did come up, but it was like a scrunched version. Okay, go back to that page you were just on.

Go back to the... Right click on it. Open in new... Open image in new tab. That's not gonna do it. That will do it. That's what I decided to do before you said it. No, that's what I told you to do! Nah, nah, nah. Look at this. Look at this image. Looks dumb whatever.

Oh, this one got cropped out though. No, it's still there. Well they cropped some of it out, but here's the, here's the fingers in question. They're saying there's too many fingers on that hand. So this dumb motherfucker of Heels vs Babyface, the pronouns guy, he says, uh, THOTTERBOLTS MOVIE POSTER WITH AI FAKE HAND GONKER MARVEL WE KNOW YOUR LOW EFFORT BUT HOLY SHIT Come all we know your low effort, but holy shit, and I think it's the most it's the most annoying thing about AI Yeah worse than the taking our jobs and worse than the Gonna crash the stock market when people realize that there has no killer app for it

And it's just not really that it's not it's not a or I at all. It's just Stop talking shit about AI. I don't get it at all Do you remember what happened the the dot-com crash, bro? I'm watching the dot-com I remember that but the dot get ready buckle up the dot-com crash didn't have any valuable at Com I don't remember how valuable that is ten years to recover from that shit I would have fallen for that pretty hard actually yeah Yeah, you know everybody's gonna got a pet You can order food and pets at home. Yeah, of course. It's gonna go There's no no into this everybody's gonna have ten five ten cats you saying I should sell my chewy stock is what I'm hearing

Oh, no Chewie's doing good. I use chewy everybody's using chewy The problem so that means the problem with pets.com is that it was not an era of everyone being tragically alone and Devoting themselves endlessly to their pets you don't remember that marketing the pet market is exploding at this here's what this is six fingers right? Right obviously not six fingers one one finger two fingers three figure four That's it, but now now every time anything is anything Some retard has to come along count and count the and I come along, and I don't know what they're even proving. I don't understand what the charge is. That's AI right there! Do you even

understand what goes into making an AI of this? Like the composition and all the figures doing this stuff? Do you know how expensive that would be? That's what I was saying when I saw it as I said I couldn't fully wrap my head around the hand But I said well there's no way this is AI because it's just like it would just be infinitely easier to pose the actors together That like AI can't put this on we're all paying for it You pay for one more day of getting in your costumes and take a bunch of fucking promotional footage Yeah, we're gonna train a fucking LLM or whatever this is on all these different guys. Right.

And pose this for- do you know how fucking long that would take somebody to do? You stupid piece of shit. It would be moronic. For what? What is your point? Anyone who's ever said something is AI. What is your fucking point with it? What is your fucking point? Well, they're saying it's lazy, right?

That it's uh, That Disney should spend more money or something? Maybe that's what offends me about it because anytime anything becomes engineering, it's easy. That's lazy. All you have to do is computer shit. And you can make that. Which is actually a lot of work to figure it out. It's a lot more work than getting eight attention whores to play dressup and pose for a weirdo. If AI made this, it would genuinely be one of the most impressive AI images ever put together.

It is an extremely detailed and complicated composition involving eight different actors. I'm like, oh my god, if that's AI, we're fucked, but it is not. You're dead right. If AI did this, it's over. Everyone has a normal face. It makes you feel something. When you look at it, it's a. It's over everyone has a normal face. It makes you feel something when you look at it It's a clear reference to something else. Oh, I'm only going like all six fingers. I might get to that point I don't know not in ten years. Did you say the Shenmue video that I the AI Shenmue? Do you know Shenmue the video game from the dream cast was like swords game? No, you're a well

It's like a karate karate Shenmue you run around town and you punch guys But somebody took it and they fed into this AI filter and it looks it looks awesome Yeah, that's the biggest company in the world for Shenmue. No just some other random guy threw it in there It's it was just done by a guy powering. He just threw video game footage into it ladies You know that guy at the beginning of Aqua teen. That's the guy doing AI right now. Behold! Oh wow, fucking weird video. That's great. Hey, it's working. Did you see Mark Hamill fell for one of those AI boomer images or whatever? That was pretty funny this week. There's one where it's a lady holding up, and she was holding two babies, and then it's two guys holding up their mom.

The boy who cried AI wolf. That's the problem. Well, the boy who thought it was AI, but it's not. Well, that's the problem. Well the boy who thought it was AI but it's not. Well that's the boy who cried wolf. What about the guys who are falling for AI images? I don't give a shit about that. That's a whole other problem. Nah, I don't care about that. The future is gonna be...

People are already, it's not gonna make people more retarded than they already are. I think it'll give people an excuse to be super retarded. They believe in ghosts and God, Vito. What do you think, they need a picture to show you something? I really hoped you were gonna say ghosts and goblins because I was like yeah they do kind of believe in ghosts and goblins. No they believe in shit that's totally fucking retarded and there's none of it anywhere. Yeah.

Oh what happened to you? Oh these ghosts were raping me in my shower. Really? Dead guys crossed the astral plane to molest you, a man? Yeah. I'm actually surprised there aren't more paranormal, like, hoaxsters, you know? Because it seems like I really easily could, like, set up one of those, like, you know, things where I go, you know, I'm a psychic, you know, come in and I'll read your fucking thing, and I go, here's the thing, I think you're surrounded by ghost. You're surrounded by the ghosts of a dead old man They go no, I'm not and I go well just hold on let me take a picture of you And I'm gonna develop it with my special ghost camera And I just go on the back and I use generated fill and be like yeah a spooky ghost here here And I come out yeah those see the right there those are your fucking faytans you got to take care of that well

I want to do that now those retards don't have any money because they're stupid broke That's why can we do AI pranks? AI street pranks? Just go- How's that AI? Cause I'll just take it, I'll just go- You're- Okay, yeah. Then what? Cause I'll take Photoshop, we take it, I'll go

Look, we wanna scan your aura, we wanna scan your aura. And then I'll just go and use Photoshop to have a spooky ghost next to it. And then we go, see, look at that fucker. We almost had a show that was this. You know, you remember that? I think we still might have a show that is this if we swing things the right way. Like a booth. Yeah, there you go.

Look at this. We gotta do some street art. Do varying degrees of ghosts behind them to see what they buy, what they believe. I always wanted to fuck with paranormal people because it seems like they're very gullible. I had a buddy who was really into crystals. You know, he thought like crystals have a man and shit Yeah, man. No, he was doing that to get laid. Well, he did get laid a lot Yeah, he also believed in the Chris have you ever been to a store? I know It's great because women are just telling you what their

Anxiety is. Yeah, like can just like, I'm worried about this. Like, wow, you know, it takes a lot of work and liquor to get most of you broads to admit stuff like this. You just buy a rock and say it out loud. What a fucking remarkable invention this is. He had a bunch of crystals on this like door frame above it so when you walk through, you're bathed in the crystal energy or whatever.

Like a mudflap? Yeah, basically like you can't come through without touching a fucking crystal, you know? You gotta be... Are you allowed to touch them? Do you pull them out? No, no, no. He specifically told me not to fuck with his crystals

because I would always fuck with them. And he's like, Vito, you have a certain aura that I would just appreciate if you didn't fuck with the crystals. I feel like you fuck up their alignment when you're in here. And I'm like, I don't know, I don't fucking know, man. I just like this one. He's like, don't touch that one.

But I wanted to do this prank where I get a crystal that's like big enough to put like something that'll make it vibrate and like a little speaker in it and just go into like one of these crystal shops. You go, you guys do crystals? Yeah, and you go, this is fucking weird. This is gonna sound crazy.

So I got this crystal, like a lady just gave it to me on the street. This old lady wearing like a shawl or whatever and she was like, this will reveal onto you. And I was like, fucking crazy old lady. But like at night, like it just starts, I don't know, like I feel like I could hear it doing shit. And I don't know, can you tell me what kind of crystal it is or something? And then like, cause honestly it started to freak me out. I like threw it out next day. I wake up It's under my fucking pillow like the Bobba do Just give it to him when it starts shaking and fucking screaming and I go it's your fucking crystal now

It belongs to you. I've transmitted to you. No get that crystal at it I wanted to see if you could fuck with the crystal people would believe that I think It's not like street magic It's gotta be we gotta have a way to shut off their lights. You know flicker the fucking lights I think you could get these illegal. I think is that illegal Freakouts try it. How come David Blaine never did Street Spooks? There's always magic Street spooking with veto would be Vito would be a good fucking series.

Are you being serious right now? Yeah! I think I could spook a lot of fucking- I mean, you don't know what the joke is that you're saying? What do you mean? It's like, I'm- What does street magic depend on? Spook, well not-

It wouldn't be magic, it would be spookin'. They made a movie about how magical they... Look, I'm just saying, he has, you know... You really want to do a show called Street Spooks? Isn't there like a Street Smarts? It would be Street Spooks. Street Spooks. You know, we just go out in like LA neighborhoods, you know, all around LA. You know, we just go, welcome to Vito... I'm Vito Givaldi, I'm here with Street Spooks,

you know, and then there'd be like some people there. Okay! Okay. I think it would be fun. Okay. I think it would be, you know, and then just try to spook them, try to get them, you know? Little costumes and ghosts and- Right.

Yeah. Yeah. Just one of my many pitches that I'm putting out there in the ether. If anyone wants to produce that, let me know. Oh, is it my problem? Okay, it's my problem. Dick, here's my problem. You know you want to go outside.

Especially in LA. They expect you to put something on your feet. Yeah, I go outside. Yeah. I don't want to. I do go outside. Let's say you want to go out do anything You want to hit the streets do a little spook and do whatever you want. Yeah point is you got to put something on I'll do that. You regular clothes. That's also a prison. What's that? I don't have to put something on that's different than my regular clothes

I'm just saying you got to put on shoes dick. Yeah, I'm gonna put on shoes when you go out I wonder what the longest Intro you could have to a problem is I want to set it up I want to make sure we're all on the same time in advance and I some and I still have It's a good number 14 Hundred and yeah, well anyway, okay, so See you put on your shoes. Mm-hmm. you go out and you're walking around or whatever right? What's the worst thing you can hear from somebody when you're walking around? Hey EF slur?

Oh, yeah, but why are they saying that we go hey EF slur sucking a cock your shoes untied Worst fucking feeling in the world you feel like an idiot you look down I mean for you, I can see how this would be a worse problem for you This is the worst thing in the world You look down, you're dragging a dirty shoelace around. You're dragging a futon around, you gotta fold that in half to tie your shoes.

Yeah, I got it. Exactly. You need to find a little boy. Hey kid, shut the fuck up. Here's a dollar. Here's some Pokemon cards to tie my shoes. It's horrible, it's embarrassing, you're dragging this shoelace with you, and then you'll go, you gotta bend down, which is tougher for some of us than others. You better sit down first.

Maybe you gotta find a bench, okay? I pick my foot up, to me. You're a foot picker-upper? You go all the way up with it? I just tie, yeah, like a flamingo. And then you tie it, but let's say you're in one of these situations where your laces are starting to get looser, now you got all this extra slack. You got like a big fucking gay bow now. Like you wrapped a birthday present. Bro, your shoes are under too much stress for me to take this seriously.

So the bow is embarrassing. The problem, Dick, is shoelaces, really, is the problem. Yeah, is that the problem? That's the problem. They have a weight capacity. Do they have a weight capacity? Clearly. I think everybody's suffering from this problem.

I don't think this is a fat man problem. No. I think shoelaces have always been a scourge. Our greatest friend. No, we hate them. We all hate them. They're fantastic. When we saw Back to the Future and Michael J. Fox has the self-lacing shoes, what did

we say? We said, I can't wait to get those. Okay, I can't wait to get those. Yes. Can't get on a hoverboard if your shoes ain't lozen, because they're going to come loose and they're going to get caught up in the gears of the hoverboard. You need the self-lacing shoe. Man, if they come out of the hoverboard and they're like, well, science doesn't let us hold anybody over 250.

That would be the greatest day of a lot of people's lives, mine included. Everybody's going to be good. Everyone's getting a hoverboard. Dick, this is an ancient technology. This is like using a fucking stone axe, okay? The oldest recorded shoelace comes from a metal axe. Yeah, they have polyurethane You know it's a little different than a sharp You don't take a sharpened rock and make an axe out of it these days Polycarbonate whatever the oldest record I mean shoelaces are made out of nylon

They're not made out of like, hemp. Some of them might be. I don't fucking know. It's not a stone axe. It's still not that much better. It's like a metal axe. It's better. Okay, fine.

Otzi the Iceman, a frozen mummy who died in 3300 BC, was found wearing bearskin shoes with shoelaces made from lime bark. Were they tied? I think they might have come loose over time as all shoelaces do. Recreational shoelaces were discovered being used by the Greeks who used rawhide lacing and they were gay. That's why they liked them so much. And Roman soldiers who wore laced sandals around 2000 BC. However, the modern day light laces which you use today came in around the late 1700s. Although as you remember the pel- You mean the modern day light laces which you use today came in around the late 1700s.

Although as you remember the- You mean the modern laces? Like the shape of them? Yeah, just the shape and the length. Although if you remember the Pilgrims who famously escaped from England because they were tired of shoelaces. They said fuck this shit, we want buckles on the shoes. Right.

And they tried to make it a thing. It came over, buckles on everything, buckles on the hat, buckles on the shoe. Final fantasy style. And then something happened. Slavery kicked in and everybody forgot about how great buckles are for some reason. It went straight to chains. It went straight to chains. Buckles to chains. Buckles to chains and back to shoelaces. You can't give these guys shoelaces. They'll kill themselves or us. Now every type of fastener has been tried. Okay, Velcro, popular, zippers, snaps, hook and eye. Unfortunately- I have my shoes you don't need to tie.

Yeah, but- They're elastic laces and you just stick your foot in and they're amazing. See, I got a pair like that, but then it's like- Are they snowshoes? I can't get my foot in there right. It doesn't feel right. I think this-

Some about it. It's not my- Something about it. It's not my big... I'm not on a fat feet. I have regular feet. Yes you do! Alright. Zippers are common on boots and some Ford fashion shoes, but they don't come close to the ubiquity of shoelaces.

And even Velcro has never given shoelaces a run for their money because Velcro is an integrated part of the shoe. You can't replace the Velcro strap the way you replace a shoelace. Shoelaces- Nah, just get rid of the shoelace. If you lose a shoelace, just get rid of the shoe. I guess. You can't replace it.

But that's why, you know- That means you're done with those shoes. But the thing is, like, getting rid of them, now you do see more people wearing, like, these ridiculous sandals or the Crocs. Crocs are cool. Are Crocs cool? Yeah, you can get all kinds of little, like,

doodads on them. I almost thought about getting Crocs, but they don't look com- are they actually comfortable? Yeah, they're great. Don't they fall apart immediately? They're just like rubber, right? Rubber? What are they made out of? They make fucking spaceship tires out of rubber. Okay. What are you talking about? Just rubber? I just always assumed they would snap in half It looks like they're made out of like a pool noodle material or something. I might as well strap two pool noodles to my feet. Maybe you could snap it in half. How are your cardboard shoes holding up by the way?

They're great, but I think, I think somebody threw them away. The infinity shoes? Or somebody thrown away? Yeah, the infinity shoes got thrown away. I have to, I was listening to it. They weren't as funny. People didn't think they were as funny as I did. They thought, I think they thought that I finally lost it.

I'm like, okay. I'm like, what? It's cardboard shoes. What's interesting is I was listening to an older podcast that you used to be on. For some reason, you were also talking about cardboard shoes. That's all I've ever dreamed of. I guess it's just been like a recurring theme in your life.

I'm like, oh, wow. I should have isolated that clip, because I was like, shit, that motherfucker did end up making cardboard shoes. OK. That's what I, when I was showing them to everybody and they didn't think they were funny, I'm like, man, this must be just like a me shoes. Yeah, that's like and I was showing them to everybody and they didn't think they were funny I'm like man. This must be just like a me I remember I came over like ah look I made cardboard shoes

And I was like Johnny the audio engineer loved them Yeah, that should have been a clue for me. They and him love something that much It's not doesn't have any you know appeal. I was gonna say that's like a it's like I think a child would find very entertaining Your nephews were not into in finish. That's weird. I love they come on Don't you guys think it's funny with the homeless people have to do? Yeah when I was a kid I loved making stupid things out of cardboard Incredible anyway guys shoelaces come on looks awful. They're just uh She why you wearing shoes right now. I'm wearing slippers You wanna, you wearing shoes right now? I'm wearing slippers.

Wow, that's not shoes. No, it's not shoes. You got no laces? Yeah, but like, I'm not supposed, these are not, these I can drive over here, I can't go walking in these, you know? They're very thin. You're wearing house slippers out?

I'm wearing house slippers out. Well, cause I'm just driving over here and then I'm driving back, I'm not going anywhere. What if you have to go somewhere? I can, they can last a little bit. You're gonna go inside in the house slippers? Yeah, I've got around, nobody cares. I wore the house slippers into places Where am I going?

You're wearing I'm gonna wear them to Mayans Chinese theater and they're gonna call me on stage to talk to Adam driver and everyone's gonna go And he spilled beans all over so I don't think there's gonna be any black teenagers. Oh hell no! If there's anyone at Megalopolis If any black teenagers are seeing Francis Ford Coppola's fucking It's not an anime? What if they get confused and they think it's an anime?

They might think it's an anime. Okay, um... This end we're talking to Adam Driver and he's wearing slippers! And eating beans. Shoelaces are the best. This guy eating beans is probably the best. When you graduate from Velcro to shoelaces as a kid, that's a big milestone. I remember having those Velcro shoes that lit up.

Was it LA Lights had the Velcro? Reeboks had them too. I remember I was a kid. LA Lights was the one. The frog one, those were the best with the little frog head. I remember I remember they would have the advertising must have been a Nickelodeon for LA lights Yeah, and the shoe store employee was fucking around cuz my mom's like yeah Just like we just want some Reeboks this is back when he goes to uh What was it like shoe palace the one that was like orange and brown?

I don't know hey less was a payless they still have So this guy comes out he's got a stack of like ten sneakers to try on. Yeah. And it's nine boxes of Clearly Reeboks and at the bottom of the stack is one box of LA Lights. And he went, oh, you know, I just grabbed them, you know, that was an accident. And my face lit up, my mom's like, just let them try on the fucking LA Lights. I'm like, yo, they fucking light up!

God damn! And I made my mom buy me LA light shoes. Yours probably lit up like the sun. Yeah, I put a lot of pressure on them. They never turned off for some reason. They're like this dude will not stop stepping. Get him off the ground! No! Anyway, that is my problem with shoelaces. I miss my LA lights.

Do you ever remember all the cartoons for toys you used to watch the kid you never actually got them Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, and that's something I'll see I'm in a thrift store And I go do I want a copy of don't wake daddy I think I do want a copy of don't wake Danny or a crocodile dentist. Oh, yeah, that's a good one I never had to skip it, and I think I'm okay with that you need I probably could have used to skip it as a kid. Well, so I got- At this point it's a little late.

I lucked out because I have a sister, so I got, cause there's some toys that are, they're too girly, but they still are fun. They still look fun. Like skip it is one of them. Like a little boy can't go by a fucking skip it, right? There's a counter on this ball. Yeah, but my sister would get the skip it

and be like awesome, let's fucking go with this. Fucking like one, two, three, four. Yeah, let's see if we can roll this baby over I did have a bop it and I was I got real good at bop it how good I Could get into like the passing off differently. I would jack it off man. I would twist it. I would bop it I would spin it Okay, but then they started getting into the bop it variance that had like five different things to do and I'm like You know what? I'm a bop it classic guy. This is a little much too many things. It's too many things

What about action figures? You have any action figures as a kid? I had some TMNT you say we were gonna do the show was just like remember this that would be a good show Yeah, we should do that show. That would be a better bonus episode We just got the commercial we watched the commercial and we reminisce on You know, I saw at the thrift store. It was a do you remember the grape escape board game yeah yeah yeah made little grape guys out of playdough. That's the way it goes when you play the grape escape. Yeah I always wanted that. We should actually get the shit and like try it out and be like what grape escape sucks it'd be interesting. I have the when I'm hungover I can tell exactly how hungover I am by what song that I can't get out of my head

I get obsessively and the worst hangover I ever have is the loop in Louie Knocking chickens off the bar. Yeah, so hungover. I can't open I'll get mr. Bucket stuck in my head a good amount of time. Um, it's too easy for me to say good stuff. I always had the lyrics, somehow I messed up the lyrics in my head, so for the longest time I was like, I'll miss the bucket, put your balls in my mouth, I'll miss your bucket. Yeah, I don't get that one stuck in my head.

That can't possibly be the actual lyric. No, but that wasn't it, it's, my balls come out of my, your balls come out of my- There's no your or my balls. First of all, it's just balls pop out of my mouth. That's still pretty bad. I'm rolling around. Only if you're gay. Mr. Bucket, balls pop out of my mouth.

Mr. Bucket. It's not put your balls in my head because you got to scoop them up. You got to put them back in the- It's not directions, it's a song. I'm Mr. Bucket. The balls pop out of my head cuz you gotta scoop up. It's you gotta put him back in the it's not directions It's a song. I'm mr. Bucket the ball balls in my head. I'm mr. Bucket Balls pop out of my mouth. I guess balls pop back. I'm mr. Bucket All right, all right buckets of calm our problems this week were he didn't do nothing hurricanes pronounced perfectly

shoelaces and the boy who cried AI wolf that's not as funny as it I asked AI to come up with one I was like ah that sucks the AI who cry whatever none of this matters. The boy who cried AI. Guys vote on all the problems at biggestproblem.show don't forget by bonus episode biggest problem in endings. What are they getting out of that? At

patreon.com slash biggest problem. This is AI! So what? What are you, is your experience lessened? I mean, you clearly have no concept. Every day they have to find something that Disney did that they can say is bad, because that's how they make money.

Disney didn't do nothing? It's the only thing they have. Did you see today, is that one guy? But other people, normal people do this. That one. Did they learn the behavior from watching you, dad? I don't do normal people do this? Normal people do this because they watch those guys screaming about it. They think that's an own. That's what really knows you. It's like an own culture. Ah, I got you! I caught you! Everyone wants to be smarter than the billion dollar corporation. They want to go, well if I was Disney, you wouldn't see this kind of chicanery or whatever.

But I'm- That sounds like you, what you're doing. It's not what I'm doing. It does, though. I mean, you would've got a better Star Wars movie if I was in charge. I'll tell you that right now. My Act 9 for Star Wars is pretty good.

Mine would've been a bunch of hot whores. Yeah, I still do want to do AI and see if I can make a Star Wars Episode 9 Like storybook or something a comic. Yeah, maybe a comic Shut up. Yeah, I know you're looking I know what you're looking for and you're not gonna find it. Yeah, I am Anyway guys. Oh, I didn't fucking mix the fucking channels on the one. God damn it you idiots Send me on both channels. I played I found the Vito's projects Sound clip thing, but it's not mixed right so oh you can't hear it

You know what I saw today and in terms of Vito's projects. You see what's coming back in the world of print media but Vice magazine Four issues four issues a year. Yeah, it's gonna be a quarterly publication How to show off your top scars Yeah, that's probably it yeah She's a video game. What's the video? What I said about Trump why is top scars becoming like a thing I should get because you're trying to normalize Mutilation cool. I should get get my tits cut off.

That'd be fun. You do it for the show. That'd be good. Just a little bit. So basically, last week's show is a 300 pound fat man explaining to me how cheese product is just as healthy as regular cheese. Just as unhealthy.

Can we just go back to the version of the show where you just fully beat over Lembosy? No, we'll be back there in about 10 episodes, I'm pretty sure. What's 10 episodes? They're both pretty unhealthy. Four months. Look, I'll say regular cheese.

I'm saving it for when Superkiller comes out now. They're not, regular cheese isn't unhealthy. I don't know why you think that. Why do you think that. Why do you think cheese product is so unhealthy? Because it's full of preservatives and emulsifiers and salt and shit. You know, I know it's unhealthy because it doesn't go bad when you leave it on the counter. Shit that's not good for you doesn't go bad when you leave it on the fucking counter.

Well, that's the magic of science. Which you don't know shit about. I don't know a lot about science. What do you mean? I know all sorts of things. All right. Gay sex, this one's cool. Which you don't know shit about. I don't know a lot about science. What do you mean? I know all sorts of things. Alright, uh... Gay sex, this one's going to be. I think the biggest problem in the universe is not knowing the exact goalpost or the goal line

when it comes to how much gay sex you have to have to have to say the F-sler. I'm not sure if you know this, but gay guys, gay people are allowed to say the F-sler, like it's like their N-word basically. They're allowed to call each other the F-sular. Don't say that. In a hearing way, and also in a mean way. So the question becomes is like, how many times do I have to have gay sex? Giving or receiving?

That's the other part of this question. Normally, you know, I'm not really sure what the goal is. It's like five times, you know. This voicemail was actually left in 1993 I'm gonna say that it doesn't matter the first guy thought of it from back then doesn't matter how many times you're sex you have to Be you know we know the difference between a guy who's like yeah, you know in the you know I've been fucking my boyfriend or whatever else, and then you know the guy was like yeah yesterday I mean Tom when we like watching sex in the city

I was like that guy's allowed to say it. Yeah, the guy's just like a normal guy saying it at work, right? You want sir? That's not you're never gonna have that they'll say it to the women at work. That's the only play you can't say to another guy Hey, Dick and Vito. I think the biggest problem universe is people who fucking hacking video games, man. I Dude, I'm really right now. I think they should go to jail I think if you hack the video game and like are cheating in a multiplayer video game They all man, I don't cheat you're ruining the experience in the software for everybody Oh, just so you know and for a fucking game. This is me off. Goodbye

I tried one of those before just for your play Counter-Strike Yeah, I'm terrible at those shooting games. I'm really well counter strikes a really hard one But I tried one of those things those aim pods I'm not even get it Wolfenstein You would just turn around the corner and your your gun would immediately snap to the guy and shoot him in the head and I'm Like oh that feels broken. I got the head and I'm like, oh that feels broken I got banned immediately. I'm like, oh shit

I don't know what you're supposed to run to make it so I doesn't find it But they're just like yeah, you're banned. You can't play Counter-Strike anymore. Sorry. I was I was Thinking about my joke that I was that I didn't say no you got banned. I really apologize Did I did I steamroll your joke? That's good. Okay. It wasn't an inappropriate joke. It was one you're not allowed to say. Yeah.

Good. Okay. Well guys, listen to the bonus episodes where we probably can't say that stuff. We definitely do not say it on the bonus episodes. Shut up, maybe we do. You don't know, go listen to them. Vito, your hate last week

on like the Mr. Beast Lunchable hit was hilarious. I don't know if you actually believe any of that, of what you're saying. He's trash, he's scum. Your hate is in your beast rubs so deep, it's weird. But like- He's an evil man. You're so clearly not a voice of health or representing healthy habits in any fashion of life.

Exactly, you're right, you're right. And neither is he. It's fucking hilarious for you to hate on like cheese and cheese products. He's being a voice for health! He's doing the same thing you're accusing me of! He made an entire promo video where fucking KSI talks about electrolytes like our children need more fucking salt in their diet. He's the one doing the thing! Yeah, but he's healthy. How is he healthy? He's just a regular guy. He's as healthy as a thing. Yeah, but he's healthy. How is he healthy? He's a regular guy

He's healthy as a horse. Let's see those teeth. Sure fine. How big are your teeth? Not no not even close to his big wait big teeth is a sign of health now. Yeah, never heard. Yeah Cuz you don't eat lunch. I can't believe you know, you're talking about fucking being healthy We the only person's allowed to talk about being healthy is Mr. Fucking Beast. Who is not a doctor and there's nothing about nutrition whatsoever. Yeah, but he knows more than you. He's saying that the cheese is real cheese so it's better for you. Okay, and then fucking...

That's true. Oh, this Prime bottle's got more electrolytes. It's got more electrolytes. Don't forget to give your child a Feastable Chocolatetes. Don't forget to give your child a feastable chocolate bar. Don't forget to give him chocolate. That's the worst part is that you don't want kids to have candy when they should have it. You can sell them candy, just say, and it's got a really tasty chocolate bar in it. Don't also make it part of a, it better for you it's just better you

know those Lunchables those poison your kids it isn't exactly the same. There's bad chocolate and good chocolate too. No whatever. No it's not exactly the same that's crazy. I want a Slave Chocolate. Okay you got a lot of you got a lot of calls about that lunch man. Yeah cuz everybody is so desperate to suck Mr. Beast Ball balls cuz they think they'll get a suitcase of money They do it didn't consider for getting rid of a body Or at least two-thirds of what eating it working out You got you you got you you should have known he said two thirds of it He got you, he got you. You should have known when he said two thirds of it.

Nailed me, nailed me. Then it was lose weight. Nailed me to the wall. Ha ha ha ha ha. Once I get my fucking steroids, then we'll be in business. We'll get you steroids, you gotta work out. You promise you'll work out if we get you steroids?

Yeah, I've been working out anyway, so yeah. Doing a great job. Work out for real. All this weight I'm putting on is just pure muscle baby. Oh you're putting on a lot of muscle. Underneath here is a rock hard set of abs. You do a caber toss? Yeah. Keg lifts? What kind of workout you doing? Kegels, seagulls, all day long, all day strong. Guys, so Dick I'm usually with Vita or sorry vice versa my bad I'm usually with Vita are sorry if I spurs in my bad. I'm usually again. We don't love this okay But man First and foremost mr. And he fat over here like that's part of your fucking brand mr. Like I hate that people

Yeah, go on. Yeah. Oh man kids should be able to eat stuff that makes them fat. Thank you Oh, man kids should be able to eat stuff that makes them fat. What's the problem with that? Why don't you know what right you're right? They should just be able to fucking drink soda and eat candy all day Right, I'm sorry, I forgot like and I know you're not a principal person so you this is all he isn't a principal That's true. I from that Shit, mr. Beast like vetoes totally right about Mr. Beast. Did you not see his business, like his, I believe it's like his operating manual for his business? Like his modus operandi, I think, I believe I quote, is to make the best content for YouTube. It's not about helping the black people or his job. The thing he wants to do is to fucking

make money. Are you guys retarded? Like if you think he genuinely cares about people, you're a fucking retard. So fuck yourself. It's fine that he just wants to make money. Just it's the way people treat him like, oh, he's one of the good ones.

He's one of the good ones. No, he's a big- One of the good ones, a shitbag. Yeah, basically. It's that thing where it's like always such a nice guy All Jared wants to do is sell healthy subs to kids. What's wrong with that? He just wants kids to eat healthy goes all this subs and a little bit of you know pocket pool, but Also, you think he wants to fuck a bunch of fat. I think mr. B. That's probably what inspired him

He's like this child porn these kids are getting too fat. I got to do something Mr. Bees probably what inspired him. He's like this child porn these kids are getting too fat. I got to do something Hey guys, I'm gonna go on a subway diet. It's a long con what mr Bees does I think is worse for children than anything Jared did on a long time our long run scale It's just such a hate boner Jared Jared destroyed the lives of a few children. Mr. Bees is destroying Yeah, millions of children with his dog shit content and here's the last one bakery Vito not being able to understand like what the point of the test from Blade Runner

Oh let's hear it Probably one of the funniest things I've done on the show in a while Dick having to explain the turtle to him I understand it what do I not understand about it I don't know you were trying to tell to him. I understand it. What do I not understand? You're trying to tell me I didn't understand it. That is the point of the turtle thing and what the replicants are Not trying to like intellectual explaining what it is The turtle suffering the Robots wouldn't understand to help the turtle whereas people and kids would be like, oh man, that sucks, let's help the little turtle out.

Why would robots not understand to help the turtle? Because they're robots. Why? OK, so robots aren't programmed with empathy? Is that the argument? Not enough. There you go. They don't cover that in Blade Runner.

That literally is. Everybody understood that. That's why they say you're not helping the turtle because it's too many layers for the robots to put themselves in different layers of empathy. I understand that it's a very confusing situation, but nothing about the situation ever says it's specifically based on the concept of empathy

is what's fucking with them. Well, it's about seeing yourself from an outside perspective. Like, imagine you are not doing something you otherwise would. How would you be feeling in this situation? Like, oh, I'd be feeling bad. Why aren't I helping the turtle?

I should be helping the turtle, but I'm not. So I feel bad and guilty. But the robots can't just rattle that off, because their programming is all fucked up. Yeah, that I understand. But people are trying to say it's because the robots are programmed without empathy. And I'm like, I don't think that's true

They're just not sophisticated enough. What do you think it is then? I think it's just presenting them with a very I think it's specifically not defined and it's supposed to be kind of open-ended to Interpretation I think that's the point of the scene the scene is not telling you See the robots are like stupid, or you know, unapathetic. It's just saying, this is a test. It kills them. It makes them fucking, ah, freaks out.

And then they gotta shoot them, right? No, he does, he just shoots the other guy. He shoots the guy giving him the test. Yeah, and then they say, look what happened. See, we made this robot flip out. Yeah. So it made him flip out. Yeah.

Because he realizes he's caught. And he doesn't understand why, but he feels fear. I believe that scene is, the purpose of the test, I believe, is supposed to be open to interpretation. It's supposed to be a little bit of strength. It's not clearly defined. Yeah, of course, it's saying they're not as, I guess, they process information differently.

What do you think the purpose of that scene is as a whole? In the movie, in terms of the themes of the film. What is it setting up? Yes, what is that purpose of that scene? What is it saying? I feel like I'm doing the test right now. Well, I actually- Let me find a gun. What is that test establishing? What do you think it's establishing? You're saying the theme of the movie hinges on,

like, it's part of the theme of the movie? Yes. OK. Because it says, flat out, do robots dream of electric sheep? OK, so I guess it's trying to determine, like, do they have a human level of consciousness? Like, are they beings that deserve, you know,

rights and protections or are they not? But it's being played specifically to another robot that he's not telling us he's explicitly a robot until you know, you don't know it right away but you start to figure it out through the course of the movie. And it's saying watch out for this because in this world-

It tells you pretty quick. It says like, hey, this guy was a robot and he killed a guy. No, Harrison Ford. Harrison Ford, they never say flat out, is a robot. You pick up on clues towards the end and go, oh, fuck. He was a robot the whole time. He was a robot the whole time.

Now I failed the very test in the beginning that is the determiner for what is a human. Like, oh, now my mind is fucked, right? I'm gonna think about that movie forever. That's the point of the test. The point of the test is that In the film. It's hard to tell humans and robots apart. Is that what you're saying?

Not for me. Not for you, cause you did it. No, I'll fuck with people until they explode. Humans until they explode. Hey, look at this turtle, look at this turtle, look at this turtle, why is there so many fucking turtles? He shot that guy, he wigged out. He was a real person.

Nah, doesn't matter I think the movie is a little more complex than people are trying to make it out to be What I just said is extremely complex. Yeah, but you guys are trying to say like oh well the test specifically means this I'm like no, it's a little open to like, you know It's a little open to interpretation exactly what they're nailing down. You've got super chats. We don't read those anymore. Do we? Yes Guys don't forget get your super chats in vote on all the problems the biggest problem. Cardinal Cardinal for two We love veto synthetic shinobi for two. Thanks for not killing yourself. Coups for two. Oh you missed it Coups Thank you for not killing yourselves

Diamond G for 555 next week Veto you won't be just walking on the plank You'll be walking into the oink-tagon to face your fears brother brother. Failure is not what we do. Is it oinktober next week? I guess so. Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho Cameron has man and has man and whatever tried to spell a bad word Congratulations FR 8 2 4 2 4 5 says I saw a bear today. I asked for coke. He said he had none Fucking liar has man for 2 a veto coke safer than ozempig and funnier to Some guys try to start on code word chain Hello lads cheers, hey, Jay, Rob, how you doing fr 82-4-20, here's a small sample of the slander. Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cock!

I was re-listening to that episode for some reason. The episode where a certain man tries to explain how cock-holding is just a harmless internet fetish. You didn't press him as hard as you, I think you were just too confused. No, that was all an act. I knew exactly... I did it... I played it like that perfectly to wind him up. I came in knowing exactly how to say it. Because I was like, he fundamentally doesn't understand what's going on.

He goes, say there's nothing inherently wrong with being a cuck, did you? Did you read the episode description for that episode? Spaghetti, spaghetti. I can't even see the words anymore. Spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti get these things that some people are using it in this ancient European way but you know I think we all know and it's like no everyone's using it in that way we just can't say that absolutely yeah they're using it correctly you're not it's very bizarre I don't know why I was listening to that I forget what I was doing that's a good I was like I need a podcast has me and again for to piecing these one letter super chats is like piecing egg so do you I don't know why I was listening to that. I forget what I was doing. That's a good one. I was like I need a pod kiss. Has man again for two. Piecing these one letter super chats is like piecing egg sodium. I don't know what that is.

Dekosugi Chinuski for 20.99. Says the biggest problem the universe is incels, especially ones that lie about having girlfriends. Big shout out to my fiancee Plumbo is 100% verified female. PS get rekt Mr. Crampuff. Plumbo. Plum oh claims to be a real girl I don't believe it because her name is plums and bow and that's a real girl I don't know cock man. I know they showed up on the whole time and bought some Pokemon cards So I'll believe it for now buying stuff for yourself. I don't know maybe was well. Yeah, no, I think I forget No, I think plumb oh about a copy enemy weapon. Thank you plumb. Oh, huh?

So that was fun black crimson for five Australian. Thanks for snacks. Thanks for not killing yourselves Well, yeah, no, I think I forget. No, I think Plumbo bought a copy of Enemy Weapon. Thank you, Plumbo. So that was fun. Black Crimson for Five Australian. Thanks for the snacks. Thanks for not killing yourselves. The Jerry Coke for a big $50 on the board. It's not going to make it tonight, boys. In the hospital today for congestive heart failure.

Oh, gee, it's some cheese product. And I will be watching for the next few days. I am watching older episodes in my room on the TV and making all the staff uncomfortable. Much love for you. Fuck fat nurses. Give me some Vicodin. If you have any black nurses, please stop watching this show because I can't. I oink in Vietnamese. I can't stop myself. F R. F. R. A. 2. 4. 2. Pretend that Jerry and Coke is speedy and righteous recovery. Yeah, we're all praying for you, buddy. No, I'm not. Well, you can pray to the other guy.

So you said to Josh Denny about his car and got everyone on the truck. RIP, RIP. Face retort for five. I hope your car lives forever, my friend. Our crew is big and it keeps getting bigger. That's cuz Vito G is our pig. Boom. FRA 242 for five.

Down with my piggas cuz I will die with my piggas. Roll with my piggas cuz I will die with my piggas. Give me oink or give me death. Andrew Tarr for 50. I missed last episode I had- $50! I missed last episode, I had to have my dog put down while it was live. And that's, hey thanks for bringing everybody down here. Yeah, Jesus Christ, what is this?

Not as bad. I'm assuming you're talking about your wife, who is ugly, okay? Not as bad as having congestive heart failure, but still bad. Give me something funny or cool or both. Please and thank you. Hey, have you not listened to Casey Kasem? Okay, it's the fundamental rule of radio. You don't bring up a dead dog.

Do you know that Casey Kasem clip? No. You know Casey Kasem, the radio host though. He's going, he's going, and today we've got a letter from Tim in Missouri who says, my dog just died. And he goes, Jesus Christ, can we not go from a, I go from an up tempo record into a dead dog. My dog just died?

My dog just died. It's the best case. Can we not go from a up tempo record into a dead dog? For the love of God, this is like, you know, recorded but not on the radio. Isn't that amazing that they just never cared? They kept those tapes, it's crazy. Some of that stuff's hilarious. No, it's never gonna get out. So yeah, that's actually a

famous radio thing. If you don't bring up a dead dog. Thanks a lot, Andrew. I hope your dog is having a great time in the Rainbow Bridge. That should be a problem. Your dog's up in heaven going, aww, Andrew, Andrew. Brits are mad for two, Vito should lose pounds to win prize for the suspense. Lawrence Devaney for five Australian. Biggest problem in the universe is Melbourne shutting down sports ball for an entire weekend. Ha ba ba ba ba ba. Mr. Poopsnoggle for two, I fell earlier today and oh my god.

And then he did a thing. Agnostic Uzumaki for 10 says, I know I'm late to the party on this, but you guys should have Gino Bisconti on the comedian Who sent Im Holt to the slammer? He's really funny and would vibe well with you two I fought with Im Holt on Twitter one time and he was like fuck you you left us elsewhere F slur or whatever Yeah, we were fighting elsewhere F slur whatever Lardo. Yeah, that's that's for the fat people. That's our our slur and And then Chris everything's a slur to you guys

Oh my god, this is back when genome of the scondi was still I think I don't think he's on compound media anymore But then Chris he mayor went to him and she's like no vetoes like a funny liberal You should bring him on and then Gina Bisconti sent me a message like hey, man I know you're like cool like you want to come on my shit I don't know what the fuck you know, but kind of sounds like and I was like, yeah, maybe sometime I don't fucking know so, you know, but it sounds like and I was like, yeah, maybe sometime. I don't fucking know so You know, it's got he did invite me a thumb on this thing when you're talking just talking to guys in the DMS Wait, what did I say? I don't fucking know Yeah, I don't know maybe we could talk to Gino Bisconti could call in yeah

Okay, I don't know a lot about that guy other than yeah He called the cops on Aaron for sending him he's the one who got the revenge porn sent to him. Yeah. Yeah. But then he, I don't know. Your boy did pretty good, didn't he? Your boy did pretty good, didn't he, Gino? I can't believe Nick lost that Frank's hearing thing.

Oh, he can appeal it, right? Only if he loses the case. And that would be insane to go through trial and not take a plea, so. So he's gonna take a plea probably at this point. Well, I mean they don't... They'll give him a slap on the wrist. They'll take the coke away, they'll do some community service, right? I don't know!

Is that going to jail? I gotta be the optimistic friend. I gotta be the optimistic friend. You are not a friend. What, to you or to him? Definitely not to him? Definitely not to him Absolutely not what did I do what did I do I know I did one thing and I changed the thing you don't even know him I know I don't know him. You're right. I'm not like a deep friend of Nick Reketa, but I don't friend

I don't wish I wish ill on Nick Reketa. I have supported Nick Reketa. That's like what most cis-lacs say as a friend. Zeta can spell for five. You are sunshine or only sunshine. You make us happy when skies are gray. They post a poem of you every day in the discord. Zeta's another person who's been buying my magic cards so thanks Zeta. I think Zeta comes by like every stream I do. Right dude here for two says shiiiit. Straturgery for five. Hell no. Go to one of Diddy's freak off parties and you better believe they're gonna chuck dicks in my ass. No one wants that Vito and Dick. Climb, trap, or destroy for five

has anyone called it piggest problem in the universe? Yes. Second Genesis five I'm just glad my best friend Vito is having fun this week. We're all about fun. We're in access for two Canadians, because I'm not making money, but at least we're having fun. And our good friend, Big Not Russian Productions, drops $100 in a Super Chat and says nothing. Perfect, thank you. That's the best fucking Super Chat I've ever seen in my life. Thank you, sir. Finally. Plumbo for five Canadian. Can't wait to get my cards. Thanks for shipping them so fast. Guys, whatnot.com's...

Are you really a chick, Plumbo? Plumbo claims to be a get my cards. Thanks for shipping them so fast. Guys, whatnot.com. Are you really a chick, Plumbo? See something that only a chick would say. She bought enemy weapon. No girl wants to play enemy weapon. Girls don't like card games. They don't wanna play it either. They just wanna buy something. Well, don't forget.

Whatnot.com slash invite slash Vito Comedy. Is that a Queen's Elvort too? Thanks for the Pokemon, Vito. Everybody's getting their packages. Chud Bronson for 20 Canadian. Damn the stream came on my monitor tilted to the right I wonder why anyway still bugging my dad about that time when I tried to get him to buy Bitcoin in 2313 I was 10. I gave him 10 Canadian Bitcoin birthday. Oh shit Well, did you hold on to it at all or check it Chuck Dix in my ass? I knew this I knew this

Translating who bought Bitcoin like right at the beginning Yeah And then sold it when it was like $100 a coin to buy weed And felt she was like really smart Yeah And now she's basically destitute and miserable Now she's gonna kill herself She's gone fucking nuts

But she doesn't want to, you know, do the stats Exactly I can't even kill myself She can't do it Let's see, Strraturgery for five, Imagine Gordon Ramsay cooking you a meal, like say he burns a risotto, and he chucks dicks into my ass!

Nobody wants that. Dejority Krojanik for two fifty euros, I lost forty pounds. Oh lord, I can't say. F your weight loss trader. Wow. I've never seen that one. That's a lot.

Wozikadosa for five, Riccata, be kidding me guys. Judd Bronson for five. Ricotta, be kidding me, guys. Judd Bronson for two, Canadian. I miss my roided deadlift. Fuck you. You gotta get off the roids at a certain point, right? You can't stay on them too long. Why not?

RFK's on them, clearly, or on something. The Rock. You could do that shit forever. Sarah Gardner for five, Australian. Chef, eating too much cheese is bad for you. Newsflash, ding bad, eating too much of anything is bad for you. You can die from drinking too much water anything is bad for you you can die

from drinking too much water that's every fat man's excuse you know if i drink water if i drink too much i could die yeah tritergery for two mentions you can die from too much dicks in my ass g money pants 1492 for five i need more news articles it's about her eternal fetusas not enough news babes voided up oink oink o oink, oink. Slag lust for five. The show is so forced. It reminds me of the Cumete. The last few shows with Tonka and Andy, but Vito's not even on failures level.

Still fatter though. Shit lift for five penis. Strategy for five. Imagine saying the F word and they chuck a show cancellation in my ass. Nobody wants that, Vates and Dix. Nobody wants that. Dean Shock for two.

Thanks for the laughs, boys. Johnny Rocker for five hurricane canceled my flight, and it killed the hotel I booked got a new flight tomorrow, but the hotel is unable to Refund me that's bullshit Jenny Nicholson's feet for ten things Vito love a good looter problems was actually Jenny Nicholson's friends feet But I'll take it that was one that they tried to cancel me. Send it to that fan here that comes. I should go, I should see if I have all the footage of just the feed shit. I should just slow it down and put sexy music under and upload it to some fucking porn site and go there. Now I can understand why you're upset. Captain Black bread for five. Just wanted to show

my show the bigger black bread leader cast coming Saturday, Vito Fatlull, Kagon Postle for two, Suppose, what a do-fog whore for five, Vito maybe that nuke dream is a metaphor on how you're handling super killer. You mean because it's gonna be such an explosive success, I agree. That it will kill you. Well, you know, a lot of things are gonna kill me.

Matteo Roberto for 10, you can throw away those Marvel vs. Capcom discs too, Vito, they were just released on stream. Doesn't matter, the original release still hold No, you got to sell all that shit, man. I Yes, you got a I bought an am I bought a light box so I can take pictures of all the stuff and put it on eBay It's amazing

When I say you got to sell shit, and then I buy you know what I did I absolutely I bought this I'm gonna take a picture of this stuff. I'm gonna sell cuz I took a picture of a thing I look like shit cuz it's all shit. Yeah, I have a lot of shit. I gotta get out of Johnny Racker for five a couple that were both bartenders stayed in New Orleans after Katrina and became folk heroes news at a puff Piece on them he ended up killing her JJ for five so it's two wins News that a puff piece on them, he ended up killing her. JJ for five. So it's two wins. It's a doubly happy update for five.

Marcellus, that knife belonged to her. I was just trying to give it back to her. I kept trying, but it kept falling out. Take your knife back. Take your knife back. Why do you keep handing it back to her? MyCunt410, media is gradually becoming rent only, and a lot of it gets erased, like the Michael Jackson

episode of The Simpsons. I'm glad those. There are hoarders like Vito preserving her posterity. You're right. way to go Mike Thanks, yeah far eight two four two four five veto. I said you could use his folk folk Lift oh folk lift folk lift, but he said watch out. They only carry finished comic books fuck whales lifts are available I'll take that fuck whales lymph my comfort to Shawn is sure hurricane Carter did it

I was also trying to see if there's any good episodes of a certain debate podcast and there's not. We've listened to a lot of them. We have a lot to go through still. Of what? The best debate, Maddox's best debate. Oh, you're going through like every episode? Yeah, making fun of it.

And then he released the kukumenari last year and I was like, okay, well, fuck this. Well, I realize what the big thing is. go he can't be the host by himself because the assumption comes along that He's not funny, he has no charisma. Well, it's, it's when he has all the power in the room, it's awkward and weird because there's no one there to tell him like, Maddox, you're a fucking idiot. Yeah. You know?

Yeah. And without that, like it doesn't work cuz like he'll say something idiotic It's like but I'm the host and it's my show Yeah, okay. You need a guy to like push. Yeah, he's real like well. This is my Nintendo So we're playing my Nintendo game The show works cuz you know you say something and I tell you you're an idiot and I say something very smart You go you don't understand Blade Runner. You've never even watched Blade Runner. watched Blade Runner you don't understand Blade Runner you don't understand Blade Runner you still haven't said what you think Blade Runner is about you think it's

about tricking the audience into not knowing Harrison Ford's a robot what is humans okay what does it mean to be human sure and can it be artifice? is glittering in the dark near the tan house or gate I've seen things people would never understand I get it but you don't time to die you don't movies about you actually. No, the movie's about that. Is that horror of real person or not? The movie's about if an Asian guy gives you shit fucking rip his eyes out cuz that's that's their most valued possession to the Asians. Okay, go. Those eyes of theirs. Let's see Mike Hunter for two. Sean sure Hurricane Carter did it. SB for five.

Vito the Rosenberg spying is why nukes have been aimed at your town for five decades Dick. Yeah but why is that bad? Nick's MGM I bet. I don't want nukes aimed at me man. Wild man for... I don't want a Cuban Missile Crisis because of these Rosenberg fucks. I don't care.

Sorry, it's whose fault that there's a Cuban Missile Crisis? The Rosenbergs? Oh I see. A little bit. I see little I see a little bit yeah yeah yeah yeah you know how many people gave the nukes over to Russia I'm sure a lot of Jews were helping them out. It was actually. It was a lot. I hate to say it but you're like it was a good deal I mean you know you can work on the Manhattan Project. Yeah they got there everybody's helping out. Remember the US Yeah, it was a good deal. I mean you know you get working on the Manhattan project They got there everybody's helping remember the US plan after the Cold War to make sure everyone chilled out in the Middle East by

Giving the nuclear bomb giving the not saying everybody did everything right okay, but the Rosenberg's Bunch of why would you want them to come sucking traders? It's just a bunch of fucking their fucking heads a bunch of a bunch of math, metallurgy, and material sciences. We can't just give away our math, our math is very valuable. Yes, but then they will say, okay, then none of YOU can do this math either! That's the point! If you kill people for giving away math, you also have to make sure that nobody in America can do that kind of math! Listen, you fucking red. Everyone becomes a spy then! Alright, commie, fuck, comrade, Masterson. Jesus Christ, talking about aiding the Soviets.

Don't you? Why don't you just move there? Yeah, I wish. You probably saw Trump hang out with Zelensky and you're like, Fuck that guy. Kill him. Knock him out. Wildman for two, why do you sound like Chippendale oink oink chicken? Diamond G for six, American.

As is not Indigo Muaytoya. He will not find the six finger man Yeah, vote it up. Judd bronzer for two Canadian 13% of people think goblins are real Lawrence Devaney for two hills verse baby face looks like roll on deodorant I hate that fucking guy mega man for five street spooking with veto in Compton K gone post or two clouds street spooks all day all night What you can say is spooks all day, all night. No, do not read these. What? You can say he's spooking! No, you cannot say a lot of things.

You can't say anything. You can't talk about it. If it's gonna be Oinktober, it's the spookiest fucking month. No, that's the problem with Oinktober. Okay, well I'm saying there's gonna be a lot of spooky stuff going on in October, okay? Spooky stuff's going on in spines. There's gonna be a lot of dark creatures running around on the streets, you know? Like little, you know, little goblins, you know like a little you know little

goblins you know stealing your stuff okay you know breaking in taking stuff yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah okay street spooks all day all night says K gone postal I come bucks it's for five says veto redemption arc is in effect really makes me regret what I just did to his landlord's property PS veto blew a dude to completion I don't think that's true I don't think I don't think I ever blew anybody to completion Chud Bronson for to Canadian Wow veto spooks aren't gonna be a fan of that mega man for to veto wears velcro shoes This isn't a real problem Street but when the big reveal happens it's spooks dicks in my ass. No one wants to have Veedson dicks

No one wants that. Royston has Bailey for two, baby oil in Veedo's booty. Hell yeah. Diamond G for 3.33 Says I'm liking the start to season 3 of the biggest problem in the universe We should like have them broken up by, well I guess each year is a season, right? Uh-uh. I break them up by big emotional events Well, I've been doing that for a while We got to do another one of those cuz again our patreon something like this is sick I can't take a lot of want to see my emotional distress And they're like I gotta see if vetoes life is ruined on the latest bonus episode of biggest problem You watch the McMahon documentary yet. I haven't you gotta watch it. It's good. Yeah

Somebody said so he made us get an insight into his mind, you know It's the new one right cuz there wasn't there an old one. There's a new one Yeah. Somebody said, so he made it- To get an insight into his mind, you know? It's the new one, right? Because wasn't there an old one? Yeah, there's a new one. Okay, because I saw that he put out a statement and then some people were saying, you shouldn't have put out a statement. No one was going to watch it.

Now that you're saying like, oh, everything in here is untrue and whatever else. Exactly. You think he wants people to watch it? Yes. Yeah. He loves it. Everything that he does is absolutely perfect. Yeah. People just don't get it

He is an excellent showman, and I don't understand why Also, nothing in wrestling counts for more than a year, okay? Hulk Hogan's on tape being like man I hope a pack of n-words doesn't rate my daughter and it's like yeah He gets to like fucking headline whatever he wants who cares. I mean everyone hopes that shut up well yeah I mean but that's black people and white people feel that way I'm saying it's a like it's not he didn't say I hope a pack of Koreans don't you know rape my daughter like you know okay if you'd said that that would yeah

different yeah yeah yeah okay actually probably would have got more shit for that because it's so so it would have been odd oglivich for two Oscar wears Adidas slides worth mentioning she wearing the Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay actually probably would have got more shit for that because it's so it's so it'd been odd Aglomch for two Oscar wears Adidas slides worth mentioning She wear him the original or the new ones Utah based Armenian for five dick defended rubber by sighting Spaceships rubber o-rings failing or what blew up the Challenger there you go can't trust rubber Pete Oxnard for two shout out to Steve I mean do you want to live in a world where the Challenger didn't blow up? I don't like the Challenger exploding has no real That was really one of the best fuck NASA things ever like oh you guys can't really brag about

Anything anymore? 86 yeah, I wasn't even alive at that point. I missed all that. Oh, that was a good one That was good some some kids school teacher died in space or not even in space not even in space That's I guess that's someone really cared about that shit though the people dying. It's like, yeah really they cared about the big spaceship blowing up cuz Well, it was it is a that looked expensive all that space stuff man You think we don't have a you know those there's those astronauts stuck in space right now And they can't figure out how to get them down? Because of Boeing? Because of Boeing.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, Boeing stocks coming down. Might need to add, I don't know what the fucking. Pete Oxon and for two, shout out to Steve Gerby and you are straight. DJ K for 10 Australian. Hey Vito, how will you be celebrating

on October when you're down in Miami? Oh God, are they promoting that I'm gonna be on that show? Cause- What show? the fucking Destiny show You said you were going I didn't say I was going in October or whatever Date so if they're like promo in an episode and saying vetoes gonna show you were going on You say I told them I said I have to I said no. I did not fucking say that shut up I said I gotta push it back

I don't think I'm gonna have time to play hard to get on the show But I'm actually going a hundred percent that motherfucker listens to the show that one guy the other Dan no, I don't remember This is like Everybody's got like fucking internet names the guys named Let's go I was his name destiny which Okay fine his name's Dan. Yeah, it's so fucking- I've never heard of that before! Where's Go-O's name Destiny, which is a fucking black lady's name? That's one of those weird internet names. Dan.

Okay, fine, his name's Dan. Alright, what's the resume's name? What's his last name? You don't know. Fontismo. You were on the show, you don't know his last name. I don't want to know people's last names. Alright, whatever.

Maybe I'll be on the Whatever Else pod. What is the name of the podcast? The Something Else pod. Everything Else? Whatever Else? You were on the show! You promoted! Anything else with Dick Masterson available on the Anything Else Podcast channel. FR824245 says next transmission will be in Oinktober.

Oinktober, baby! Two old chefs. Are you boys ready for Oinktober? I'm talking about two barrels! I'm just gonna quit the show for the next month. We're talking about a cook. I'm just gonna quit Next like your boy next year for oinktober. I'm just calling it. I'm calling out sick You can have Josh Denny run the fucking show It'd be good if I'm not here cuz then you guys can just unleash oh oinktober is gonna be It's gonna be the end. He goes are more

Tool chest for five he does ready for the roid arc. He's been dirty bulking for 30 years. That's right Yeah, we'll get you some roids. I wanna I want to figure you got a what's your workout routine with roids? Well, I'd probably have to join the gym if I'm gonna actually hit the fucking machines I just have free weights. What? The machines? Yeah, like the fucking the pull down. Okay, what do you do with free weight?

You got some 10 pound dumbbells? I do the arm curls. What do you curl? I don't know, the green. The green ones. You don't even know the number? I don't think they have a number on them. It's not working out if you don't know the number.

You gotta know the number. They're a big, big. Chick's work out without numbers. I think I have chick weights cause that's all I could get during COVID and I never bought any of the ones. If they're green, yeah, you definitely have. Remember when COVID hit

and you couldn't get exercise equipment? Not me, I had all my exercise equipment. Well, I didn't have exercise equipment, so. So I bought the green weights for ladies. You bought her a reformer, day one. Okay, plies closed, we're getting a reformer in the fucking house. I do, what's the one, the backwards hammer,

that's what they call it. The hammer jammer. Is it a green weight or is it the kind of weight that you strap around your wrist? No, it's an actual weight. It's like an actual dumbbell. Does it have that coating, that rubber coating? Yeah, it's got that rubber on there. Oh man. And you're doing how many, you're doing about 95? About 200. 200. Yeah. I do about 600 reps.

Do you stand up at least or do you sit at the computer? Yeah, I stand up. Are you eating while you're doing it? You can't sit down. You got five pound weights? I mean, I guess you could sit at the edge of a weight bench or something, but you can't sit in a fucking gamer chair.

A gamer chair? No, you couldn't. No, you couldn't do that. OK, so you're standing up. 600 reps one arm, 600 reps the other arm I do a 400 dozy does I do 200? Hoop jumps do you have one of those little triangles? I got a triangle triangle weight. I got a no I got the old-timey triangle weights Oh, yeah, I'm doing the Charles Atlas program. It's called the kettlebell though kettlebell. It's real. Yeah, I know Charles

I'm doing Charles Atlas I Went to the beach you that you do that picture you suck it Yeah, like that I got those guys in the house at the beach and a guy kicked sand in my face And I was so mad. I said I know what I'm gonna do yeah Charles Atlas this I Okay, and then all the ladies at the beach are gonna go oh He's so bad come back and work out Yes, I You're gonna go, Ooh, he's so down. Can I come back and work out with you and your green weights? Yes.

I have the perfect weights for you, ma'am. Whatever, it's a big heavy thing. You just gotta lift a heavy thing. Oh, it's neither big nor heavy. How big are they? They are heavy. Take a picture of it. I got whatever the heaviest ones are.

Of powder-coated. Powder, they're not powder-coated. Is that what it is? I don't know, that rubber shit is? I don't that rubber shit Yes, that rubber can you put new stuff on them new weights on is on size? I used to have the sand weights, but those feel terrible Yeah, you got to get like metal. Yeah, but they're fucking expensive You could afford it's for your health put them in vetoes booty. Why why does nobody pan for vetoes?

Why is nobody put here's the you know what would make sense for veto's booty is why don't you guys send like some weights or something? I put some good in it today, too. No, you guys tricked you last time. Oh, okay. Let's see. Oh my god We got a bunch of super chats here You read all those no, I didn't yeah you did this shut up No, Steven Johnson for five street spooks Peter. You can't possibly be this obtuse. I don't know what you're talking about No, no, you better not do what you're doing. Okay, that's for five Canadian. Thanks for not killing yourselves boys another great episode Here's some money. That's my favorite thing plumb up for five Canadian shit You even you guys are questioning if I'm a girl at it. That's not

Also, that's not what a girl would say Girl would say something stupid we're're Noxus for five Canadian. Don't forget to turn in the crim cell, crim cast, crimp pillar, whatever after the show. We're going to watch an Australian escape the matrix via whippets. OK, the crim cast is going on next. I love getting crimp-pilled.

TBF for two. Vida smells like the Yule logs. He doesn't flush. Death anchor for five. Please identify greatness for all glory goes on tits. Please lead the first letter to be, okay. P-I-G, okay. He spelled the thing.

Zeta quink cell for two. Plumbo's a fed, be careful. Oglovich for two. Plumbo's cock is six and three eighths inches when hard. Plumbo for two says I do not have a cock, which is a lie. Zeta quink cell for 10. Long live the veto nation. Diamond G for two says I do not have a cock which is a lie. Zeta Quinkzell for ten long lived the Veto Nation. Diamond G for two RIP Plumbo's dog. Well this has become a very Plumbo. Focus Super Chats. Renox is for two Canadian we love Veto. Veto Nation will be victorious.

Plumbo for two says I don't have one in all caps. Diamond G for two says you can try mine and Luke Coveyellow for five says here's to Veto's cat rest forever. Okay well that's the show. Good show everybody. Let's see our list of top supporters and we want to thank you all for coming by. What a great show. There was something I wanted to say but I can't remember now. Well, I want to tell everybody to check out our new bonus episode again. The biggest problem ending, because I think a lot of you guys have seen it, but it was a bit of a tearjerker.

Some of you guys said it was an emotional moment. I didn't feel anything, because I'm a big strong man who lifts big strong weights. But maybe those of you out there... Are you going to post a picture of that weight? No, I'm not going to post a picture of my fucking weight. It's got to be 10 pounds. No, you're doing kickbacks? Yeah. my fucking weight. It's gotta be 10 pounds. No, you're doing kickbacks? You're doing, ask five then. It's probably like 15.

No. I don't actually know. I think it's like 15, maybe 20. How many of the, what do you call them? Tricep hammer? Yeah, the big hammer, the hammerbacks? Yeah, hammerbacks. About a thousand, I'd say.

How many, 10? Three sets of 10? How many do you do? Three sets, well I do 100 and then I- Yeah, divided by about a thousand. I'd say how many Three-set well I do a hundred and then I yeah divided by Captain powers muscle muscle man. You do a week. I put muscle mayonnaise on all my sandwiches now I believe protein protein mayonnaise. Okay, all right put a little bit of that spread on there while you're making a sandwich You do the tricep. I'll put the sandwich at the edge of of the table So while I'm tricep thing I can like lean for for okay That's it Yeah, I wait wait wait wait. I want to see if I can redirect

Last time you did this it took like 10 minutes. Yeah, but I don't think it's gonna take 10 minutes. I think I hit edit and then I hit You're reading it off the fuck. No, I go to customization. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. My god Add oh my god. Okay, make sure there's no vetoes booty. Wait, wait, wait There's none just let me make sure people are saying check out the crimtacular post thing Crimtacular post, okay. Yeah, there's nothing no No, none. Okay, hold on. Wait, do I have to subscribe to this person? Search videos from other... Give me the keyboard. I'm gonna see if this works.