The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 160

Episode Date: October 12, 2024

Remember that damn it. It doesn't matter Okay, ready none of this matters take it over the dick show branding. How about that get rid of the dick show branding? Yeah, nobody gets a brand then I don't even get a plug I thought I did have the thing that was just in the corner. We don't have that uh Well, that's what I was looking for But you're saying it doesn't fucking exist and then you started yelling about my there now nobody knows No one knows what the show is no one knows anything here. We are Wow with the Unabomber his new band metal band and the Unabomber junior

like the original universe The calories hello the boy version of Marceline and Adventure Time They have that now. Marshall Lee. Marshall Lee is here. Floating around in the dark. Vito, do you want to introduce your friends here? Absolutely, guys. I'm very excited to have two exciting guests here with us today.

We have Koff and McCune. They're both exciting to me. We have my good friend Koff and McCune, the pizza king of Oakland, California Hello Vito and his rent boy that he's picked up on the streets of Los Angeles It's a good friend Ryan star sailor is also here. Thanks for having me Hesher's pizza Correct. That's in Oakland, California. It's the only good thing in Oakland in J. Lo that everything

Yeah, that's not a flea market. Those are the only two good things the Laney flea market Well, it's not good for you because that's where all your stolen you're telling us a story where some crack heads stole all of your records Correct and they sold them at the flea market. So Vito taught. Yeah, Vito talked about the flea market before Yeah, I just bought my house move my shit into like It's not the biggest brand Yeah, I just bought my house move my shit into like buying a house It's not the biggest brand necessary to this story These two crackheads walk into my house and took like of my entire life's collection of records since I was like 16 Oh a year later after looking that popped up in San Francisco and some record shop I messaged the guy and he's like, uh, yeah, I knew it Francisco and some record shop. I messaged the guy and

he's like, Oh yeah. I knew it was like kind of good, too good to be true. I was like, where'd you find them? He said, Laney flea market. That's my place. That's my place. They got all the best shit out of people's cars and homes. You'd roll through there and you go, there's no way a Nintendo switch is 40 bucks. And guys like, I gotta get this thing out of you now. The ladies are going to show up, bro. Did you ever go to the Laney flea market still? You gotta make sure you should. No dude, it up bro. Did you ever go to the lady flea market still every week? You gotta make sure you should no dude. It's great If you want the stolen shit in Oakland ends up there

There are there are truck fulls of tools that they've just stole out of good hard-working people's garages and like, you know car shops And stuff the only reason I would go people go to like San Francisco They're like, oh see all those sites and I'm going to the Lanny Flea Market dude by all the stolen shit The best music best tools they have like lawn mowers with you do they have everything you're looking for You guys just feel lawn mowers and tools and sell them to each other. I mean you're not doing you're not moaning lawns They see one and they go nobody's using this and they just take it for themselves to make They're not wrong in a way they're are making their way into the hands of people could actually use them because

No one in Oakland's mowing those lawns. It's a quichita itself So I'm very excited to have of course Coffin McEwner Coffin has a pizza shop Hesher's pizza in the Oakland area Yeah, and just made a couple pies for us. They were very good. They did. They were New York style. It's tough using that oven, man. That oven's good. You know what? I'm gonna go ahead and jump into my first problem. It's guys using your ship better than you do.

I've only got like, you know when the bad gremlin is like, molting? Yeah. And he's in the water and he's going like, ah, all of my pizzas out of that oven come out. I gave that pizza oven to my wife for Christmas, you know, or for her birthday or something and all my pizzas come out looking like that gremlin. Like, ah! And then you get these amazing, you're spinning the pizza, you're totally calm, you're not soaked in sweat thinking about doing another line like was half saturated. I was half saturated. And then you come in and you drop these Amazing artisanal blueberry Smurf pizzas on us. Dick very nice dude. And then you say how it's not good enough Oh wait no. This is the worst. Dude the learning curve is insane dog. Okay

You have a stone that's ice cold you have flame, right? It's like I mean this is like caveman technology, but they have this nice hood over it. Yeah, and so it's like our show I'm the flame, and I'm also the ice cold stone. It's nice It's fucking it's beautiful. It's great. It's hard to use dude. Yeah, I'm a seasoned professional I was like damn. I look like an idiot out here. Okay. Well it is a challenging pizza stone I would say Yeah, come in and you do a phenomenal job you do the turn this is shit pretty much It's my mom taught me that trick. I'm glad I finally got to try the Canadian tuxedo a blueberry

Blue cheese and bacon pizza. Yeah, dude pretty good I want that at every restaurant every night I would go down to like Morton's and then the chef comes out. What you think it was shit I fucked I've done so much better than that. You wouldn't even believe dude every time you play a show That's what you look you have a great set or whatever and you're like you made a mistake and somebody goes man That was amazing. You got sucked, dude I'm not like that. It's tough. He's just gone. I guess awesome. I know yeah No, no compliments, please. Yeah, I had way too much. You got a problem. I do okay each problem

This is the right show for those ready. Let's get into it. I think we're good Yeah Yeah, biggest problem in the universe! Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe, the only show that ranks every problem in the universe. From shoulder pain to free media that makes you complain. It's not very good, is it? No, it's a terrible rhyme. That's a bad one.

That's a bad one. The last F-bomb. I'm your host, Nick Maschinen. Joining me is Augustus Vito, just for all the... Hi, Dick! What's up, man? Doing pretty good. How you doing?

Of course, our guests, Coffin and the Star Sailor. That's right! That's me. Where does Star Sailor come from? Like Dungeons and Dragons? Dude. Spelljammer? Magellan? That's what astronaut means.

Astronaut means star sailor? Are you an astronaut? Oh, hey, he's sensitive and an artist, dude. Can't you tell? I'm a little hurt. It's kinda gay, okay? You navigate by the stars. Yeah, but it's gay in a way way where like girls are into it, right? I always see on Instagram girls are like commenting on your photos.

Dude, you wanna talk about somebody complaining about an oven not working when dude's like, man, my 4,000 matches on Tinder, I don't... I don't know, dude. Wait, can you play up my reputation as a ladies man? I don't have to. It's already working! It's already working! You're looking for a bigger audience?

You can't even handle the audience you got right now I'm gonna bring a demographic to this tonight that you've never seen I'm excited one woman I'm not a one woman kind of guy You get a lot of tinger matches, what's your secret other people? Is that... I got the money maker. Oh yeah. Do you know how old this dude is? He's like 56. Really?

Yeah. No, no, guess how old I am. 56? No. Dude, you're bathing in the Queen of the Damned pool or whatever. It's not 50. Look, he's 30. I'm just kidding.

36 years old. But... You're 36? 1988. Are you 1987? Yeah. Okay, right on 1984 1983 yeah, okay, 83 got the baby face. You had a birthday coming up. I certainly do yeah What are you gonna do for your birthday? The same thing I do every year nothing yeah Oh, yeah, in fact I used to I used to treat myself by like going away from your from your girlfriend everything yeah

Yeah, that sounds like a good birthday. Dude, it was really good. And then never come back. They kind of always, they get you back in, dude. They figure out a way, right? Dude, somehow, against all better judgment, you're just like, I guess I gotta go back right now. Godfather 3. That's what I'm saying.

That's what I'm saying. Okay, how did we do last week, Vito? Probably terrible. I've been terrible on these problems. Yeah's what I'm saying, but... Okay. How did we do last week, Vito? Probably terrible. I've been terrible on these problems. Yeah, what happened? You know, I keep challenging the audience to expand beyond their bounds, and then so they're all caught up in whatever election frenzy bullshit you bring in. You guys listen to the show, right?

He does like to lec- He likes to challenge the audience. Yeah, I don't know why you're trying to subvert Are you trying to rape the Joker Vito? You know, I don't know it's just like we'll talk about like a hundred different things on the episode But I for exactly two seconds like Kamala Harris will come up and every comment is like oh Kamala voter over here Vito it's Kamala Kamala. Yeah, oh yeah, we did talk about the vice president We talked about the vice presidential debate

That's what we talked about see Obama chewing out those guys for not voting for the black guys for not voting For a black lady. Yeah, you look you look at Michelle. Yo, who is he? Where was he bunch of black guys. I don't know. He just found some black guys and put them in a building. I assumed it was like a group, like a club or something. Yeah. You just go on the street, you go, hey, Obama's going to say some stuff.

And they're like, all right, I'll check this out. I don't know how he did it. It's going to be cool. Michelle. Well, how'd it go? Did all the blacks agree to vote for Kamala Harris? I don't know. I saw some videos where they're going into convenience stores run by African American

gentlemen and been like, Hey, are you excited for Kamala? And they're like, No! I'm like, Oh, that's not, that's what I'm wearing. I have also, so we filmed a bit and we might have to talk about it later, which I am editing. This week I had to do my text so I couldn't get it together. But we had a lady jokeroker a black female joker yeah

We did this bit and afterwards was before the joker was known as a rape victim So we did this thing if we don't I went to comic-con last week to like quiz zoomers on what's what characters they knew and then Historical figures don't give it all away, but yeah Okay, we did a mystery bit in a mystery bit Dick what's it about I already gave the entire and my show. Yeah, how you gonna be more fun whatever Anyway, there was a black female Joker who after we did this like fun We're gonna go see a movie what's it about? Oh, don't give it away. Wait, I thought that lady was in New York.

Oh no, this was a different black female Joker lady. There's more of them? There's more of them? Geez. And she's kind of surprising, isn't it? Yeah, something's going on it seems. I wouldn't think that would be a black woman like character. That's a large disparate area to cover from New York to... Yeah.

Well, I got like 15 minutes of her talking about how Kamala Harris isn't really black and, uh, is taking advantage of the black community. I'm like, this is hilarious coming from the lady female black joker. Yeah. So, uh... That was before the rape, though. That was before... Wait, was that before the rape or was that day after?

It was the day after, because the rape happened on Friday. Yeah, the joker got raped on Friday, so then it was all the joker classes. See, watch it. It's kind of weird. Wait, joker? Wait, so, I don't know anything about this. Yeah, the Joker got raped on Friday, so then it's all the Joker You watch weird Joker wait, so I don't know anything about Joker is in a musical and then it ends in rape yeah Phoenix gets raped and then he doesn't like being the Joker anymore Exactly what happens exactly what happens, but you watch the many bits by Lady Gaga. No yeah and killed I hate I hate it It is it is one of those things where I go wait the friend. What were you planning on here?

Why did you think people were gonna enjoy the message here? Yeah, don't get raped Don't hang out Lady Gaga the message is a remember how it was really cool in the first movie where you embrace the madness? Yeah. Well, actually you should be sad still. Yeah. You're like, oh, well that kind of undoes the whole first film. Yeah. I gotta see it though.

So you watched it? Yeah. Got it on demand or something? Yeah, I pirated it. Wait, how long is it? Oh, too long. How many, two and a half hours? Two and a half minutes.

Cause they do these karaoke songs. No, no. And that's what was my complaint is I'm like if you do a musical write some fun Joker songs like that would be fun Yeah, you're singing about being a clown Fuckin Lady Gaga should be singing about fucking a clown that could be a great bit, but instead it's all old showtunes Wait, so is Lady Gaga the Joker? She's a a Harley Quinn wait, but if the Joker's not the Joker He's tired being the Joker does she become the Joker no Guy that stabs him kind of like becomes the Joker spoiler alert Why?

Nobody's seeing this shit no that's the meme is that nobody's seeing it everyone just heard heard all the plot points and like yeah, I don't want to see the Joker. Yeah I just not gonna get anything out of that. I don't need that Unless Batman was raping him or something like that. I'd be like, okay It sounds like Todd Phillips is really challenging his audience. It seems like Todd Phillips was yeah He really wanted to subvert our expectations as always Hey, dude. Hey, did you want to watch a crazy clown kill people? Yeah, what if he got fucking raped? Oh Yeah, I guess I'll watch that. Dude all the fun sucked out like a vacuum in space So who won last week? So we did the mystery bit. Oh the mystery bit. Yes. Yeah now and

there's now that now Null and Null got tricked into thinking that you invited a 13 year old girl into my house for a diddy party I'm getting tagging tweets a teletubbies slash diddy party I'm getting tagging tweets going can you believe Vito brought a 13 year old girl over to Dick's house to play Risk? and I'm like

what the fuck are you guys talking about? Risk isn't exactly a foreplay game? Jack I don't know if you know this yeah, we were I mean we have the footage is you know we were doing the classic Do you know these wars what year they happened? And I was just grabbing random cosplay people and I brought him over to you And she was like I don't know that war because I haven't learned it yet. I'm 13 Yeah, okay, well this bit's not gonna work You shouldn't know this and somehow through the game of pedophone that Kiwi Farms plays that turned into Dick was having a wild house party and I was having a party

Yeah, and Vito brought a 13 year old girl over to play war games. Yeah, whatever the fuck that means world domination Yeah Cuz everyone maybe that should be the maybe that should be the problem I'm that that'll be my problem actually let me get through these things who want shoulder pain obviously any shoulder pain either view dude Yeah, it sucks. I have all pain. I was in a bad motorcycle accident like two years ago. Oh how bad? Well was the sixth one, but this one was a real bad one. I mean a six motorcycle accident Yeah, I've been riding motorcycles since I was like 18. Not very well.

Well, no, very well! Okay, I thank you! It's the fucking other guys! That's the problem. So no, dude, long story short, this guy like hit a semi, and then he careened across like five lanes of traffic on 80 in the Bay Area, and went perpendicular in front of me in the fifth lane. And I like kind of drove out of it, but my back wheel hit and I flew like 80 feet. Oh shit. Oh my god wait

Do you do you remember who who picked you up 20 minutes after you got hit on 40th and the ambulance? Oh the other motorcycle accident yeah, who picked you up was that you I thought I walked in my house It was like four blocks away. You called me and I came running I thought it was an angel I zipped up my diaper and got overdosed I was like four blocks away. You called me and I came running. I thought it was an angel. I zipped up my diaper and got over it. I am an angel. As your angel that picked me up, I was like, this can't be real. I picked you up in the cop car.

He sailed on the stars to get to you, man. He did. He did. I was just running and shooting. It was a distressing moment. I had a saddle on the back. That one, some lady, well, she wasn't a lady. She was like 20 years old.

She was texting on her phone in her toy camera. And I was waiting to make a left turn at a green light Yeah, I'm waiting for oncoming traffic and she just do barreled right into me See, how can you ride a motorcycle cuz it doesn't matter how safe you are. Everybody else on the road is a fucking idiot There's a saying you got to dress for the for the slide not the ride. Yeah, that's that's it That's the man. That's the mother of your leather up pretty much Yeah, you got when you say when you see guys on a helmet or you're like what the fuck? Oh, dude squid food. Yeah. Yeah squids squid food. What's that? So squids is a another like pejorative for like that's what Vito calls these 13 year olds that we're picking up at Comic Con

The squid food Do this again I mean it's it's worse than that because like when you get hit or when your face gets grinded into the pavement by like You turn into a squid cuz you got the yeah, it looks like calamari. Yeah, just all shredded Pretty gnarly. Yeah, when you gotta give that shit up. What are you gonna give this bike? Yeah? Yeah, no, I Dude, I had ten motorcycles. I sold them like this dude I ran a shop so it's like I had I was flipping bikes and I had like a bunch of stuff I'm not like some some dude

But the last bike that I had this this happened on yeah, and when it was time to send it off to insurance You can either keep your vehicle or you can give it to them Yeah, and so I gave it to them, but I've already been looking at Craigslist for new bikes I just do I just want to go back to the track. That's it You got a kid now I raced for a year. It's like I want to just go back to the track. Yeah, yeah, okay, so um yeah I mean, I just I miss that your size you race. I thought dude bike race would be like jockeys You know like little guys. I mean this is amateur shit. This is not like a real like thing, but you'll be amazing

Give yourself some credit I was never invited. I could dude I could cut down on the pizza. All right, you can Based on those Dude, you should see there's some like boulders on twigs on the on the on the track, dude It's a rich man's game dogs like there's dudes like boulders on twigs at Comic Con There was a lot of those just walking around dude, and they're like zipped up They're all held in there by like this tight leather. Yeah, it's hilarious, dude, and they're out there They're fast what kind of bike do you have well?

I mean the the bike that I had I had our six and a jixxer 650 Or 750 I asked that we allowed to say jixxer What race do you think that is you're our you're running after Anthony Koumea for the crown of biggest racist in the world I'm not I'm not even close to Anthony Koumea. I don't know about that, buddy I'm very I'm not in the same league But you said I love the I love all communities of all colleagues Okay shoulder pain even the likes rats number two Rats that was yours complaining about free media. That was veto chastising the audience for not liking his stupid

24-hour show streaming channel. I'll just shut it down. Okay. I thought it was cool. It's pretty cool. I like I think it's cool It's like it's like it might be like a one-month. it might be like a one-month experiment. We're trying it out. That's cool Vice presidential debates the very last yeah, everybody the audience loves the importance of a vice presidential debate. Oh I know they're so important to democracy, you know Yeah, I got it. I got it. I got it here. I got it here Tim walls China Fucking stupid you sound like him. That was a good impression. His eyes are so big Tim walls. Yeah Don't look directly at the Sun. I need JD Vance to remind me about his kids and his wife and the Mexicans and the Mexicans and the man. Where's that guy from?

Gale where they fight. Oh shit. Yeah, but he's like he claims to be a hillbilly and the Mexicans and the... Where's that guy from? Oh God, I don't know. Yale. Where'd they fight? Oh shit. Is he? But he claims to be a hillbilly. Hillbilly eulogy. I was about to say eulogy. More or less. Apparently the movie's really bad. It is bad. It's unwatchable.

Yeah. Imagine that. What's it about? Just being a hillbilly? It's about how he's the only smart guy in a town full of hillbillies. Yeah, and he's the only one who ever worked for anything. That's moronic. His success, I think. I'm pretty sure that's what the movie's about. The Hills have eyes, but just a dysfunctional family instead of a pack

of raving cannibals. I can't hate JD Vance, though, because apparently he was addicted to Phantasy Star Online. I'm like, well, at least he's got good taste in those Dreamcast games. One of your people. That's one of mine, one of my boys. So you're voting for him, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Nice. Okay. I don't know who I'm voting for. The audience has to decide for me. They've already decided many times. Well, I think we need to give a vote. Okay. I think we need an official vote from the show.

What's the price tag? Well, first it was if we made $5,000, then it was if we made 10,000, and now... But here's the thing is that we've picked up a bunch of new followers, and for all I know, their voting tastes are different. It would be a betrayal of them if I didn't vote with the majority. So we'll have to set up an official poll. It seems like you're kind of challenging the audience. Put a poll in the chat. Just vote for Harry. No one cares.

No one cares about these games. These foolish games you're playing. They do. I get messages like, you're going to vote for Trump. No one cares. You're going to vote for Trump. We know you're, yeah. Can I throw a problem into the ring?

Well, yeah. Wait, let me go through the comments. Sorry, OK. We're jumping the gun. 5% of people listening will flip out if I don't go in order. Like, Wapner's on a three. Anything above an 18 year level, I want YouTube 18 plus, he can't watch. We took his parental.

We took his parental. We gotta tell everyone this. Hey man, at least I got my Cocoa Melon. Martin O'Keefe says, I hate the 24-7 livestream. I think it's dumb, It's cluttering my feed It's half baked and poor a poorly executed idea good jump off a bridge Martin O'Keefe Yeah, guys

Lazy corner says they should have just get just given the dock workers jobs to the illegal aliens. Yeah ISO says Richard is a huge baby about phone calls. Yeah, should uh, you should answer my phone call Maybe one day hit me back on the text at least I forget what I was texting you I do I will say you did text me at 4 a.m. Last night Thank you. Thank you I mean, why'd you wake up put your phone on do not disturb? I woke up and I saw it I was like this is some pretty inconsistent You don't get it. You're not supposed to answer it. No you email at 4 a.m. You don't send a text

There's I don't know it's fucking email. There's some etiquette. Yes, I think that's I have my phone on do not disturb so Here's no child lights up mine doesn't know It was nice to get a text though. I have no problem with the latex Now I'm gonna text you all the time. Are your glasses fogging? Yeah constantly this this is the stuffiness of this studio Getting a little nervous over there. Their glasses aren't fogging up They got fucking Wait could you turn up the AC or crank the AC? Wait. Yeah, yeah, crank the AC. Yeah crank the turn up the air. Oh No, I was just referencing the fact I was like, which one do you say? And then I had to text your girlfriend because I knew I couldn't get to you, so I...

Damn! Yo, overreach! That's how you know you're right. Texted the girlfriend? Yeah, he did. Veto! Cut the feed. No, but you're glad I did, because I gave her a hot tip that you would not have followed

up on. How to spend more money. Holy... Oh shut up, you're loving it. Would you have texted his grandmother after that? I did because I gave her a hot tip that you would not have followed I spend more money. Yeah You're loving it. Would you have text his grandmother after that? I gave her a hot tip and it made his life considerably better Jeb says the phone call from the store argument was a great Blade Runner bit veto is definitely an Unimpathetic robot following a program. I think so Evil fandango says a vote for Kamala is a vote for Vito using slave labor to sell clip art. I don't know what that means. Enormous King Crab says send all the localizers to Greenland. Absolute scourge of media.

Being a localizer should be considered more shameful than being a rapist. See this is all people who do not know the media they watch at all. What an interesting response to that totally insane statement. An equally bizarre statement. A lot of localization has been very good for the world. Like the Bible? Oh well, that's all... I mean that's what that is, right? I don't know if that's localized.

Well, I mean it has been been localized versions of the Bible for sure Yeah, the Bible sure. Yeah, yeah The real figure out what those old Jews really meant. Well, they were Greek not Jews the guys are of the Bible Yeah, I think so There's a really big conflict going on where they're from right now who to choose you're familiar with that They're fighting over the area right now as we speak. The real deal Brando says, study reader veto, googling study to prove my point before the debate veto, thinking mentioning a study is an argument veto. Tattiest Mason says just get rid of presidential running mates

and let us vote directly on who should be vice president. It never made sense to change things so the presidential candidate can appoint the vice president. Just go back to directly voting on both positions. We'll get started on that. It's interesting. CoDiesel says veto needs to call dick three times now. No. Don't do that. You need to add one to the roster though. Who do you go after? That's a perfectlyito needs to call dick three times now. No don't do that You need to add one to the roster though. Who do you go? There's a very reasonable reason to you gonna call the dog I get my dog a beeper Pack the movies says Vito taking reddit seriously explains so much of his idiocy

Tony had to send me a text when he was listening to the episode going, why are you listening to Reddit? Oh. That's how Tony sounds from Mac the Movies? That's Tony from Mac the Movies. That's what he sounds like. No. He's been working out. He has been working out.

He looks good, doesn't he? He's getting beefed up. Yeah, he looks good. OK. Italian beefcake. What did you don't have a segment, right? I don't have a segment. Ryan, would you like to start us off with the problems?

You got a problem for us? I know you're eager segment Ryan Would you like to start us off with the problem for you're eager? Give me a give me a sound to indicate that problems are coming. Well, that's a we do that between problems So I get I've got the chat open here and everyone is losing their minds that they don't know who we are Oh, okay. Yeah, go ahead. Oh So you want to explain more of who you are? Yeah, no, no, no, okay Here's my here's my problem. Here's my problem. Yeah, I, so... You wanna explain more of who you are? Yeah. No, no, no. Okay, okay. Here's my problem. Self-evident. Here's my problem.

Yeah, everyone knows who I am. That's why I have sunglasses on, because I don't want to be recognized. The debates should be in sunglasses. The vice president should. That would have helped Tim Walz a lot, I think. Everything becomes more... Yeah, dude, he definitely needed it, dog. Well, you know what's like...

You'd look like Jack Nicholson or Nicholas? Which one's the actor? Well, Nicholson. Nicholas was the golfer. He would look like Jack Nicholson or Nicholas which one's the actor well, Nicholson Nicholas was the golfer He would look like Jack Nicholson going like do you remember the do you remember Jack Nicholson sunglasses quote? He says with my sunglasses on I'm Jack Nicholson without them. I'm fat and 60 Correct is got a good point. Yeah, that is correct, sir It's now it is why do you think I'm wearing sunglasses? How far are we from Mulholland Drive? It's not that far. Uncle Jack. He sees around here right 30 40 minutes

Okay, and I don't know you want a map to the stars in the veto were tight back in the day So we sang out up the strip on poopy poopy on the strip. I said poopies on the strip. I said, oh, yeah, Mrs. Poopy What are you talking? What are you? from a documentary Where Jack Nicholson goes we all used to hang out at this place on the strip called poopies and there was like what the fuck But it was poopies pupi Nicholson impression I've ever seen to the impression Where it's like the the worst Jack Nicholson impression I've ever seen? I can't do the impression. Damn it, dude.

Oh, Jack Nicholson. Where it's like the classic. That was Jack Nicholson? You know that? Oh, okay. Oh, oh. Okay, so Jack Nicholson, have you seen Five Easy Pieces? No.

Damn. There's a famous scene where Jack Nicholson. The diner. Yeah, he knocks all this stuff. So he's explaining how that. How they came to make that scene in the movie. He's had poop he knocks all the stuff. So he's explaining how that ended up in the... He's had poopies up on the strip. Right.

He's needed poopies up on the strip. They all hung out at a coffee shop. Yeah, exactly. This is poopies. Yes. Love it. Should I just tell you my problem? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I feel like everyone's going to agree with this one. All right. You're in a public restroom. It's a, you know, it's a, you know, there's just a toilet in there. You're alone. You're taking a dump.

And someone grabs the door handle without knocking and starts shaking and you get scared. Yeah, I love doing that. And then they knock, they knock. Yeah, hurry up, let's go. They knock, they knock really loudly. Let's go, let's go. I don't wanna. I know you're doing a Coke and Dew, let's go. No! Let's go.

I don't wanna have to verbally confirm that I'm sitting on the toilet. I don't wanna have to go, I'm in here. So I just don't say anything. And they're like getting on the floor. Then I'm gonna get, they're just. Wait, Ryan, that's not gonna stop me. You don't say anything?

If you don't say anything, I'm thinking that something is wrong with the door, and I'm coming in hard. No, you're saving a life, right? Okay, that's a different story. If a guy's violently shaking the door. I'm pulling shoulder into it You're saving a life. Yeah. OK. That's a different story. If a guy's violently shaking his door, damn. I'm pulling shoulder into it then. Dude.

And I'm describing the problem louder, so someone with a key can come over. All right. Let me check. What about if it's just a door, a solo toilet? That's what I'm saying. I'm not talking about a stall. I'm thinking a stall.

I'm talking like you have your own room. Damn. Also, with the stall, you can just. At Hesher's Pizza in In Oakland, California Jack London Square We have two bathrooms and both bathrooms have a lock that when you lock it it says occupied You know what I don't like about those bathrooms So one of them has a red light and one of them has a blue light and you look like a fucking psycho

Yes in the mirror. It's terrifying also Which like cuz you're very pale. What light? Which bathroom mirror do you not show up in? So I personally do not have a reflection in the mirror. Yeah. But I've been told. I've seen it. But I try to put on like, for real, I try to put on sunscreen.

I can't. No. I don't know what part of my neck I've got. I like, I like psychedelia and I like disorientation, but I also like that the reason that you do red and blue lights in a bathroom is because you can't find a vein That's right, Oakland. We have a heroin thing. Yeah, it's like a real bad. No, that's that's real In the hate aspirate like the the hole Yeah, and then that that that kind of stops people it doesn't stop people but it like obviously gives them pause or they're spending too

Much time since somebody might ram on the fucking door I know that I know they're doing drugs in there and it's fine. I have to piss or whatever I'm doing drugs. They're gonna dump and I'm shooting up shit. You're doing the best drug all which is a butter and jelly It's just a release of a flood of indoor from After taking a big old dump or well, you know what I always say a little All right, so we don't like people pounding on the bathroom door well It's I feel like that's a private moment, right you take a shower you shave you take a dump I feel like those are you take a shower in the bar, but those are solitary experiences right now you pump gas

Is this happening in Europe where in? No, they are very respectful. Oh, the Germans won't do that. I'm in Germany. Yeah. The Germans will just blow the door open if they want to. The Germans are deeply respectful of bowel movements. They'll just march through bowling. To a dangerous degree, where they fetishize them.

Yeah. I've seen that pornography as well, my friend. Yes. What about all the immigrants? Are they polite with the closed bathroom door? I'm not going gonna answer you. What if my girlfriends are watching? They're woke! How is the yeah, is Germany the

second biggest country for immigrants right now? Outside of America. It's all Trying to keep I was watching one of those bar the second biggest problem with immigrants No, I was trying to track where all the I don't get all that stuff I feel like they listen I'm gonna be backing you up. I saw a bar graph before I came in I was like wow Germany's really got that many migrants. I took a lot of yeah, I've seen it as well I've seen it. I've seen people complaining about it in the north in the Nordic countries yeah, but then Germany's right there. Because Ryan currently lives in Germany.

That's the point, right? Well, OK, so I will say Germany is the largest economy in Europe. Oh. Yeah. So I don't know if that has anything to do with it. That's interesting. I didn't know that. You guys got a lot of dogs and cats in Germany?

Uh. Uh. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm just curious. I just want to know what kind of pet you guys out there There are dog people nice. They're a dog. They have no personality either. They like train them to have no personality Wow the dogs. Yeah, we like you that I don't do the Germans whenever they set their mind Motivated Germans are the most dangerous force on earth. Well, I live in it. I got an idea in my head Yeah, exactly. I'm gonna run with it. Are you? Agree with me Well, so I live in it. I live in a Berlin is a multicultural city, right? Sure Yeah, so you you so they say you meet people who have dogs and they go fucking Germans in their dogs

Because the dogs are like really well behaved, but they're just they're like robotic well They're known for dog breeding like the Germans kind of German Shepherd Yeah, yeah, the Germans are the first guys to really take dog like breeding and training super seriously Yeah, I wish I knew if you actually knew the thing you say all these things with confidence, and I'm like I don't know Don't give away how I operate on the show. I've learned now that that's your tone. I think that might be bullshit. The thing about the Underground Railroad is it was very hard to become a conductor. Yeah.

No, but it is true that they're known, that's why all the police dogs, they used to get them from Germany or whatever. Because they would train them over there and then Come on to yeah, see right. Oh wait. Can I do yeah? Listen? I don't think I'm making that up Why they're German it's their breathe. I am it's very convincing. They have they're so good. It's a breed right like Dogs there in that's a breed of dog right? Yeah, okay who here thinks that like police dogs are a real thing What like yeah, like you know, they're special that they have trained these dogs to smell all manner of material and That that's really what finds drugs or guns. No, that's fake. Yeah, okay

Yeah, thank you. Okay, we know that we're all on the same page, right? Well, I can smell some drugs they could smell them, but they're not that's not what's happening there It was I'm saying Well, I can smell some drugs they could smell them but they're not that's not what's happening there Smell coke I'm not signaling to the cops Like they go hit hit. Yeah. Yeah, that's all thing like dog. You're telling them what to do and they go Oh, we got to switch your bags sir I mean how I would love to see the efficacy of the searches which they will not they want to they don't release Yeah, they don't know they're not taking they're not writing this down Okay, so the Germans helped us out with that. I guess did you know that it's a capital offense to kill a police dog

Yeah, capital offense. Yeah, you can get killed In America, it's a cop. Oh They have a badge Cop kill have a little badge. Yeah, see killer. They have a little badge. Yeah. See, I've heard that, but I've never heard of anyone actually getting executed for killing a police dude. My grandfather. They didn't catch me.

You're my grandfather. No, I love dogs. They put my grandfather on death row because of that. Really? No. Oh, I mean, look at you. Come on. That's what you would look like.

Exactly. This is what happens when you're on death row. What if you kill a police horse though? Because that's like killing a cop's car. Dog.'s not like killing. It's like another cop. I'm saying he's riding it. It's not like doing police stuff. What do you mean? He's sniffing out drugs, dude. He's like, he can see around. He's like, this girl's hiding drugs in her hair at the festival because I'm up tall. I'm I'm a cop or killing a police horse. That's destruction of property. That's not yeah, okay, so banging on the door

Yeah, yeah, you gotta you gotta go faster though, man No, no, I take my it is called the restroom. Come on the restroom You know I get get shit at home quick shit. I'm colon for a reason. I've got a method in the bathroom Oh, okay, take your pants off and no you know I like I wiped down the seat if there are no Are you making a glory hole in there? Is that what's going on? But if there's no seat cover I create one has a gold tooth by the way Talking about what's going on in the second bathroom. I take my time. His great-granddad was on death row. That's what's up, dude.

There are some things in life you can't rush, and I believe a bowel movement is one. I'm with him on that 100%, man. Thank you, Fido. No, because you were at home. Listen, I'm regular. You gotta answer the call. No, I'm regular, but sometimes it creeps up on you, right? Yeah, sure, certainly.

Yeah. So I'm like, oh, 10 AM. I'm done. I'm phoning Elvis. My problem is just the inability to see that, like, OK, somebody's in there. OK, dude, and now all of a sudden, Dick's point about being like, get the fuck out of the bathroom. There should be like an oven light for the bathroom.

Dude, OK, there's a place in Oakland called Stork Club. OK. And it's a pretty cool bar. They have shows there. Doesn't John Waters own it now? Yeah. Well, no, like design the inside, but it's the deuce me you guys He went which is another cool cool spot Like you go to a show we should have John Waters in the historical figures You do it you go there and there is a line outside the door not for the venue for the bathroom

And every single time dude every time you open the door somebody comes out of the door And it's a guy and his girlfriend or girls and you're like dude Yeah, there's a single bathroom in this like 700 person venue. Yeah get out it sucks, dude So I'm like guess what? Dicks right sorry. I live in Berlin where every bathroom is you're encouraged to snort things and have sex with people Well, we people pissing and shitting outside Yeah, or you know the the piss San Francisco the piss goblin a burgundy for to him, right? No, wait what what actually okay? So the original is dreamed of a piss goblin so in he was famous

He actually died and then somebody took up the mantle which is he you're like the phantom You're pissing in a urinal. It's kind of dark in there and a guy goes Can I give you 20 euros to piss in my mouth and then you go? Okay, is he in the restroom with you? He's just he comes out In the corner yeah, he just like comes out of the darkness It's like Candyman, so you either take the money money predator you take it and run or you just go no man. I'm good He's apparently was very polite, but I read was a real guy Yes, so now so this is the

How I found out he was he had died Read it somebody was like hey, I haven't seen the piss had died now read it somebody was like hey I haven't seen the piss goblin in a while and somebody was like man. Fortunately he passed away I'm trying to make a cool 20 when I go to the bar Yeah, right. It's like dude. I'm absolutely sure trying to buy some speed and burgundy dude one man's trash man treasure Okay, Vito. Well, you want to go? Yeah, I'll go. Oh, let me play this. Let me play our Interstitial song I think you're I think you got to get out of there man What Berlin the bathroom? Well, yeah, if that's what it takes. Yeah, why don't you go back to your German bathrooms here in America?

Come on. Yeah dick without one and doubt darkness. There is no light. So I feel like you and I yin-yang We need each other There needs to be a healthy middle ground under the door door. There needs to be a healthy middle ground. You piss under the door and slide a 20. Damn. So as we all know, I'm a big fan of these internet videos where people are befallen by horrible tragedies, sucked into machinery, dragged under the wheels of a truck. It's gross.

So you know, this weekend was going to be my holiday. Beato would be watching a movie of you wiping out on every motorcycle and laughing I'd be adding like little funny voice. We're so ahead. I'd do a voiceover to make it funnier and This weekend I was all excited because I was promised a weekend of a horrific carnage at the hands of Hurricane Milton They told me a category five storm was going to tear. It was going to be ripping the flesh from children's fucking bodies. There's going to be torsos and skeletons flying through the air. Blood spattered houses. And I don't know about that.

You were chubbed. You were half mass. I was at half mass expecting the carnage. I'm like, I wasn't a hyper. It's a category six. They don't even have that one. It's going straight through the retirement communities, grinding up the old people and a fucking, you know, fucking spinning whirlwind. And then what happens is like, Oh, good. Don't fizzle down. It got downgraded. I checked the news. I'm like, expect I'm like, I want like a picture on the front page and fucking corpses stacked up in that fucking stadium. They go seventeen people died seventeen people. He's like those are rookie numbers, not those numbers. That's like an average fucking

day. Anything you know, and seventeen people die at the fucking racetrack every day. That doesn't make any sense. So my problem is a disaster blue balls, basically, disaster blue balls. Yeah,. Well cuz the news gets you and I this one I actually thought cuz they've done this a million times especially with hurricanes Yeah, they're always like this one's gonna fuck everybody up You all have to evacuate or you're gonna fucking die Yeah, one guy was saying he's like this hurricane is reaching the mathematical limit of what we thought was possible

I saw the same fucking thing and I was like, Oh my God, this is going to be awesome. It cannot get any more damaging. And you're like, Jesus Christ. Yeah. Serious. And then I'm like, okay, so it's finally going to be one of these things where they don't say, Oh, at the last minute it diverted north and, uh, you know, it a little picked up a little bit carnage and death.

I was promised. Yeah. Like when fucking Biden promised us a winner of death from COVID. He said this winter, if you don't get vaccinated, you felt that it will be a winner of death. Like you've never seen. And I was like, all right, let's see it. I want to see the winner of death. Yeah. And it seems like, how do I keep falling for this man? The news is getting real good. They got your number. They always whip me up in a frenzy and every time I'm like, all right, this is the one. Do you find yourself like find yourself like when that happens you're like I'm like I'm in the mood for to see those pizza rolls

Or like some some product that they've put right back in it on exactly they're figuring they know how to got you man You are black pill and motherfucker I'm deep. I'm deep and they cut away. It's all a nice time travel here from the 90s I'm like are we back in the night? Yeah, we're having a good time Just a cycle just repeats itself. You're the wheel of time man I remember like this keeps that room on y2k was gonna be cool. That was obviously dumb to everything was gonna shut down Yeah, it's like all the lights were gonna turn off and fucking your computer was gonna try and kill you It's all from the sky will fall from the sky

Yeah, you know That 9-eleven feeling is what it is because on 9-eleven that was the first day where you're like, this is like something happening. Oh man. And I've been chasing that feeling my whole life, like, let's do it. Let's go. And it's never as good. No. No, there's never been. Nothing ever happens.

They hype us up. They're like swine flu. Remember swine flu? Yeah, but imagine if they had said there's going to be a big terrorist attack. And then you woke up and it was 9-11. You're like, I imagine something a little bigger. I thought it was going to be like nukes.

You think the prediction of it, it has to come out of nowhere. It has to come out of nowhere, you know? It's got to be a surprise. Comedy and terror are basically the same. Yeah. You know? Surprise. No telegraph.

That week of 9-11, am I wrong? Was that not the most exciting week? Out of, at least, I was going to turn 18. No, I was terrified. I'm like, they're sending me over there. I'm dead. It's Vietnam. I'm dying. I don't want to die in the top 10 weeks. I was going to turn 18. No, I was terrified. I'm like they're sending me over there. I'm dead. It's Vietnam. I'm dying. I don't want to die in the desert, dude. That's a good point. I was like fuck.

Half my guys was like dude, we're going over there. We're gonna fuck these motherfuckers. Oh no. I was like no you're not. You're not gonna do any of that, dude. And some of them went over there and didn't come back. Well for everybody else who wasn't of draft age, I don't know, man. It was like living through a dream. Twenty something, I forget. It was an exciting time. And then, you know, I go, well, here's a hurricane mill.

I want to see the bodies piling up. All right. Not just because I want people to die, but it's like, you know, every day we're hearing about all you get all these like zoomers. Yeah. Well, you got all these zoomers. They're always talking about all my life so hard and it's so hard hard to make and they're complaining about the stupidest shit in the world And you're like and like a hurricane just killed like a million people and your troubles about like you know You can't afford top surgery or whatever seem a little diminished in comparison

You think it's gonna be easier to get top surgery during a hurricane. You're right. I guess they'll suffer as well You know who suffers most in any situation is the marginal. Is that why they're doing it? They're all doing that stuff just cuz they they're getting blue ball. Do you think I think it's cuz Balls off we crave drama as a as a human animal people get bored Circuses man, they get bored. Do they start doing weird shit? Yeah, that's it. I mean, this is you gotta get a girlfriend You'll never you'll never want things to go wrong again. Yeah, absolutely like every day is like a new fucking nightmare in a way You know you guys kind of blew it with Jan six that could have been way cooler Should have killed all of you that's another that's another

Watching like geriatric women fall from like a ten foot wall was like kind of the shit fall from like a 10-foot wall was like kind of the shittiest thing ever. Yeah! I'm like, oh, this is not like... Grandma's like, I'm climbing it for liberty! And then she gets halfway there and goes, ehhh, just falls off the step wall. I was, I found out about Jan Six because I was checking my stocks. All of a sudden all the stocks were in the toilet. I'm like, oh, fuck's going on?

Where are all the stocks in the toilet? Oh, you didn't hear? Another day, day trading. The country's being taken over! And in my head, I'm like, oh my god. We got a, ehh, Oh my God, we got a, Oh, my stacks are killing it. Paletteers at like 47 him. Hems killing. All right. What do you call it? I was like, this is a white house down situation, right? Like fucking the president's cowering

in a bunker. You really thought that there was a danger of that brief second. I was excited for a brief second. I thought we were in an Olympus had fallen type scenario. Olympus has fallen from Kentucky. Like dude, you know, this is like diehard. It's like they do is roll up and it's like, these are international criminals. These are professional terrorists. Like January six was like watching like a goth or Garth Brooks concert. It was a bunch of proud boys were texting each other back and forth. This is bad. Yeah,

we're going to fucking we're gonna fucking... We're gonna... And they gave those guys like 30 years for that. One of the dudes was wearing a scarf. Because it was chilly. It's like, that's not really... It doesn't strike fear into the hearts of anybody. You gotta stay limber. I guess.

I would love one of you guys to explain why... How that would have worked. To take over the government. Like, we all know that's still the government. Like, what do you mean? I don still the government. What do you mean? I don't think it... What do you mean taking it over? Well, you should have talked about this with Destiny,

or did you? He's so amped up about it, though. It's his biggest thing. I mean, he's like one of these guys, you just can't get straight into it. Did you talk about it with him when you were on that podcast? I figured that's why he flew you in. I don't think it would have been fun.

What's the rub? Why is it a big deal? I mean, I guess it is a big deal. What's the rub? Why is it? I mean, I guess it was a flat-out insurrection attempt to take over the government destiny's big on the fake electors He's like it was a joker moment. What does Joker say in the Batman movie? Which one the cell rape me? Aren't you gonna buy me dinner first damn right before he gets raped Yeah, usually when I get kissed when I'm talking all the way to the end. Yeah, dude. Yeah No, no, he's talking about the dog he's like I'm a dog he's like I run up and he's like I don't That joker it's the perfect like metaphor for the whole thing they go

All right, what do we do guys? Let's do walk around Take some pictures selfies. It's like I've got documents out of a desk somebody stole Nancy Pelosi's a laptop, which is funny. That's great Yeah, get that old bitch. I want to see what I saw Now what did you think about the What are you reading? Is this guy talking about me? What is it? It's an audio based format I don't know how to pronounce this last name This guy looks like Milo Yiannopoulos

Damn Milo's blonde though Maybe they're talking about you Milo looks like Gronk He's enormous Is he a big guy? Yes, I thought he was a little He became so big he became straight Maybe they're talking about you. Milo looks like Gronk. He's enormous. Really? Is that where your confidence comes from? Yes, I thought he was a little...

He became so big he became straight. I think. He was too big to be gay anymore. Why? He looks like he's as tall as Joe Rogan. What the hell? Why don't you get that? Isn't he fighting with Nick Flantas right now about which one of them can impregnate a woman first? I don't think fighting is the right word for it. Well... He's trying to troll him, but it's not working. He's trying to like troll him, but it's trying to get a little

Point is guys all these disasters About the impossible that typhoon that came in and killed all those people in Malaysia or whatever does that do you feel like? Cuz they're not white yeah Well come on like oh, Haiti got destroyed. It's like oh yeah What did it look like before a pile of dirt and mud? Well, it's a look at now since well some of the dirt and mud has moved around like To the crowd I mean it's like you know Dude, what are you what are you gonna? Do Haiti? Oh, no, I dropped my trash in the trash, you know? Hoo!

How are you gonna vote for- why are you voting the way you do when you feel this way? It's Haiti! Cause you want us to- you do want there to be destruction and chaos! I'm not voting for Haiti! I want America to be good! I'm not even sure what happens in fucking Haiti! You do not! You clearly do not! You want it to be assaulted by natural disasters and man-made disasters and death? Just Florida! If it was coming to California I'd be like, ah, shit, I gotta go. What about the earthquake? Do you like that when that happened? Clearly do not! You wanted to be assaulted by natural disasters and man-made disasters and death? If it was coming to California, I'd be like, I just... What about the earthquake? Do you like that, when that happened?

I don't know what happened. I was like asleep. I slept through it. The most recent one? No, the big ones. You weren't here. The 90s one? I was in the 90s. San Francisco? Okay, that one. The Northridge one, 94, I think. Did you think it was funny when you woke up? Well, it was the 90s, I was probably like 7, I don't think I knew what was going on. I would definitely think you'd be funny if you were 7. I don't think this...

I was shaking, I'm falling into the ground, ha ha! A cop, you think it's funny that the freeway, half of the freeway collapsed and a police officer drove off of it at full speed? Wait, did that actually happen? Yes, and died. Do you think that's funny? Why do you keep going? You're telling me you think that's funny?

Oh, God. That's pretty good. When you put it that way, kind of. Look, I'm not saying it's funny, but it's just like, you know, we live all our lives in this constant fear of something's going to happen, that it almost feels like a relief when something does happen. Like, I'm not just living in a simulation that constantly tempts me with endless fear of like you know if you're outside a fucking virus is gonna kill you. You are definitely living in a simulation Vito. Your anxiety is

amped up to 11. That's possible. By the media you consume and you purchase it to purchase things to alleviate it. Which is why when there's like a big you know shooting or something I go good that makes sense you know because it's been so hyped up. Yeah. You want to see consequences. I just want to know that the things I'm being told are based in reality in some way. You know, I don't, the premise, I reject the premise, but also I too like to see consequences. I too like, I, I beg for it. I want to see it. It's a CIA right now. It's going like, nice. We did it. You hear this? They're're gonna play this in their annual review. Look at this guy. He's a famous Really created a culture of big audience. This is a living on edge and then

We deliver a little taste of what could be if you don't stay in line, you know, wait, do they have weather machines? Oh, yeah, man, they're they're messing up all day the Jews. I don't even know it I don't know anybody we got the guys with the weather machine cloud seating Yeah, plus he is not effective though. What do you mean? Like they've had that technology the ability to drop What it's like some kind of salt they drop in the cloud. Oh, here's where the knowledge gaps become apparent. What is cloud seeding then? You say it. I'm going to ask Dave to stand about that. What do you mean it's not effective?

You're the one that's saying it's not effective. Well, because you know how we have like droughts and stuff that like people are like, oh, why don't they just do cloud seeding or whatever. Yeah. And I. Wait, what does the cloud seeding do? It gives moisture?

Makes it rain. So it makes it rain? Well, no, because there's moisture trapped in the clouds. It just encourages the clouds to release whatever they have stored up. Damn. But I think the point is that you can't do it that often. I don't actually know it works. I'm just guessing.

Like you can't just jack off and then keep jacking off. That's exactly. You can't just constantly jack off a cloud. You have to let it. It's watery, you know? It's like, that was lame. You can't pump an empty tank. So that's why cloud seating, it's like, yeah,

you got to let it accumulate a little moisture first. OK, so blue balls banging on the door Mccue you know I have I have one I want to I want to choose to make it right Okay, cuz I have dude. I have so many you did have you listen you rattled up a bunch up I have way more I have like we're doing home run derby upstairs home run home run home I mean you have never some of this you have never had a complainer in your fucking studio like me. Ever in your life. I don't know. Maybe not every.

You got Vito over here. Mine is simple. Have you ever been in a mall or in a building with a staircase or an elevator? And you get into the elevator, you walk up the staircase, and there's many people in front of you, and everybody's kind of like trying to get up and swing. Everybody's sharing their ride. And then somebody in front of you gets to the top and they stop.

They've made it to the top. They finish and you're like, I've got to go over here. I'm still coming up the escalator. They are in the center of everything. You open the elevator doors. Somebody is standing. They act like they just got to heaven. That's what I'm saying. They're like, I've never been here before. I better take stock. Like they're looking at a sunset or something Just sucking the atmosphere. Yeah through their mouth dude. It drives me nuts, but you do it in cars People do it in the Bay Area traffic like traffic in LA is awesome. Everybody is very nice I had a guy actually I put my turn signal on he stopped and he let me in I was like whoa Doesn't happen dude the Bay Area you have no you have no law that you have to get over

for like the passing lanes and stuff like that. And so people are just in the middle, going 55 miles an hour in like a 70 mile per zone. Causing accidents, which is why I have shoulder and neck pain and back problems. They do that like when people walk into concerts, they'll just take two steps and they're like, oh, let me look at my ticket. Go to a Dodger game, like, oh, well, let's see where I am. Go fucking over there, like, you're gonna have to walk back 20 feet when you figure it out? Get out of the way! Get to the side, get to the side.

That's all I'm saying, get over! Get over. Get over! Here's what drives me nuts, you're in the store and you're shopping, you know, with the shopping cart. There's a guy shopping and he's taking his cart and he's used to block off the whole aisle As he's picking out what he wants. Yeah, and then you got to move his you got to be like, yeah

You know here I'm coming down the way I'm coming down late. He doesn't see you Yeah, I just move people's carts the do they're always so nice to say he doesn't see you because he sees you Yeah, they don't know she knows you there. He knows you there They all do and they just go no I'm not gonna move for this person. Yeah, like dude get the fuck out of the way. I've stopped asking people I just I just grabbed their cart I just shove it off to the side and I just keep pushing through and then they have the gall To go. Yeah, they got a little they got a little luck. You've nobody's ever experienced this

I'm walking around like ready to just pop motherfuckers. Sorry to swear, but... It's usually women. What were you gonna say, Ryan? Oh, so... You've been to Berkeley Bowl, right? Yeah. Berkeley Bowl was the worst.

The aisles were only big enough for one card to go through. That's your first problem. And also, Kerwin told me one time that he and Tim were at the target in Emeryville and a woman grabbed their cart and was on her phone and just, they followed her around for like 20 minutes. Was there stuff in the car? Her cart? It was stuff that was not hers. Like, and it was different than her card. And she was just on her phone, pushing their card.. It dog it drives me. It's a lack of uh it's a lack of social awareness. It's really weird. Here we go. No I'm serious. Okay. I'm very I'm very aware at all times of who's near me and who's around me. So you also don't care. I make a path. I leave a path. Yeah. I'm a path leaver.

Clear the way! Why do they take one- as soon as they're inside the liminal space it's like I have to reset my head. It's like I'm buffering the new era- new area. That's fine! And there's like a door opening thing in their head. Get over!

Admire the scenery from like over to the side. Don't just go, huh! the side. Yeah, don't just go huh? I Think in America, we don't this is there's a lot of things that I go. This is something that should be taught in the schools Because I feel like this is something that it starts It's like it's an unspoken. Well, it does start in school You're more you were like walking in school And if I remember my school sometimes teachers be like listen stay to the fucking right if you're on the right and they're on the right Then you guys pass going away. I don't want to I don't want to anybody that was my dad

Get my head knocked off of these get the fuck out of the way actually you know what it was My dad always said go to the left because everyone goes to the right so he's like let's a life hack my trigger and that's I Think the reason I think the reason I learned this and now I do do it No, you do a lot of when now because everyone goes the right everyone knows that Jesus. Yeah, you're ahead of the curve, dude I think when I was in elementary school there was a retarded kid and the thing was he couldn't get outside unless he Had his head hand of the wall the whole way

So had to put his hand on the wall and walk to the door and if his hand hand left the wall, he got all fucked up. And the kids would try to fuck with him by standing there knowing he couldn't get past because he couldn't take his hand off the wall. Yeah. And at some point the teacher sat us down. They said, listen, motherfuckers, there were just let the retarded kid walk with his hand on the wall. He stays the right. You stay there and stay out of his way. And I think I internalize that. I'm like, yeah, why fuck with a retarded kid? Let him put his hand on the wall. And he walks all stay there and stay out of his way and I think I internalize that I'm like yeah why fuck with a retarded kid let him put his hand on the wall and he walks all the way to the end of the bank I agree with this so cruel kids can be cruel I agree with the statement that everybody is being trained by retards I think so 100% the society comes out to it's a

little frustrating we need to learn lessons from trying to flow man it must flow it must flow the end I Don't happen that kid I'm still got his hand the retarded kid. Yeah, so got his hand on the wall He's like I was he in school He's like a ribbed band You know my problem was in elementary school was having to get lunch for the retarded kid. Did you guys have this in your school? It's helping somebody. Yeah. But like if it's forest, it's not helping them. It's like weird. What if it's forest? It's not helping. They had like a schedule there where they're like, okay, we're all

going to learn how to help the retarded kid get his lunch. And so it's supposed to teach you empathy today. you're Gabriel's, the way the retarded kid named Gabriel and they're like, today you're Gabriel's lunch buddy and I was the one kid who said, I'm not helping that fucker get lunch. Of course, of course. No surprise. Cause he was gross, cause you'd have to sit with him and eat and get fucking food all over himself and I'm like, he's disgusting. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH yeah exactly, I already got food all over over myself I'm gonna help him clean up

Gabriel how's your day today? I had to eat with that fat kid Vito I see him. Yeah, no I good I've seen you would I slop what we were eating last night, I didn't get anything anywhere. You always make me bring you your lunch. Yeah, well I put a bib on there. I keep it clean. You shouldn't need a bib! Hand on the wall.

Hey man, when you're enjoying your food, you really gotta dig into it. So you had to help Gabriel with his lunch? No, I was the one who didn't have to. And they didn't make you? For some reason, I broke the system and they're like all right for veto doesn't have to help Damn, I was like I was a kid. I was like how did you feel about that? Well, I was like I had this weird thing as a kid. I was like you got one over on Gabriel I was I was like he thinks Gabriel's faking right I sort of I think he was a little yeah a little bit

Yeah, I know I guess as the years went on I'm like Gabriel's not nearly as retarded as... I think he's just in a wheelchair. He's growing up! I think he was just in a wheelchair, but they all treated him like he was retarded. I'm like, I don't think that kid's retarded. I think his legs just don't work. Was he real happy all the time? Yeah, he was a happy guy. Yeah, yeah.

Because he had help. Yeah, well, exactly. He has help. He didn't have to do all the other schoolwork everybody else is doing. I'd be happy too. It's like, don't worry, Gabriel. You don't have to do math. Go! Do you want to know the last day anyone ever heard from Gabriel? What was that? September 11th

Standing outside of the elevator He's got a tray with a peanut butter chile And that dog that was helping everybody down. It's like oh fuck you. I'm out of here the wheelchair kids had it hard though Cuz I think No, you don't say yeah, I think everybody thought all the wheelchair kids were retarded Then you had to learn there's retarded wheelchair kids, and there's regular wheelchair All the kids did not think that. Why did you?

Well, because we had one kid in a wheelchair who was like super duper retarded. And then when you're a kid, you're like, oh, I guess everybody in those chairs. Was the wheelchair motorized? No, I think he used the hand. He's wheeling it himself? Somebody, no, he had a helper wheeling him around.

Oh my, my, my, my, my. I don't know. Yeah, it helped her wheeling him around. Oh my my my my my no no Yeah, I'll get over to the right so this was like elementary school. You've just never given back to society in any way Drain no no no I've helped people out I just don't know what inspiring When I was a kid I was so easily grossed out so like lunch for me like I don't know I was very particular And I was like listen I just if I have to help this kid get fucking baked beans all over his shirt I'm gonna throw up and then I don't you don't have to do it In the chat in the chat somebody says somebody said something pretty good about Gabriel what they say about Gabriel

He would be great in a maze. He'd be great in a maze That's how you get out he should fight the Minotaur By the way, everyone hates us in the chat Usually I tell people not don't read the chat. That's why I have something else out the chat Don't read the chat. That's why I have something else out the chat See that right away. He's got a mirror in his pocket. He won't bring it out though, but he's got to see You know what you know what they said about us. I don't care. They would be better on their own I feel like we're bouncing off. I think you guys are killing it. I think you guys are killing it

Yeah, yeah, I'm over here talking about- Vito's dressed like Wario. Murders and- My problem is it is hard. It's hard to tell. It's hard to tell what? I think we know. It's hard to tell. Yeah. When Vito brought that 13 year old girl over- That's the one you're gonna talk about? And I said, you know what? I- One you're gonna talk about I said you know what I hate Good IDs in my own house, and then we went around trying to get we're trying to get more girls to come over And we're like now. We're gun-shy. They're like I don't all I see is fat little Mexican women Well, you know they have little there's a bunch of little Asians

They got ears on and you did everyone's dressed like a horror they're not dressed like a horror enough for I don't know uh I just during a heat wave well it was a comic con comic con so yeah I see like tiny tiny Asian people all right and some of them if you look at the faces are like grandmas they're like 50 years old or something okay yeah some of them are legitimate 13 year olds and I was like wow this is fucking It's like man if I had to bet my life on this I would not do it Yeah, I would not play you guys are making a case for dr. Disrespect. I mean now not a mistake It's not an honest mistake I

Think once they start putting on costumes and makeup and whatever else, I'm like, oh my god, I have no fucking idea. She had a furry suit on. Because all the ones over 18 are trying to look, everyone's trying to look 17 as hard as possible, you know? So you got 17 year olds just looking normal. Everyone's aiming towards the mean. The 25 year olds are trying to, are like, trying to whore it up to 17 and the 13 year olds everybody's everybody's trying to rocket their way towards this You know azimuth or whatever it is this this nature of the Bergeron of age yeah, you have to be like you guys are really fucking you guys are really sending all of you are all sending

Fucked up signals. I'm just trying to prove that you don't know when the fuck Vietnam happened, okay? Signals I'm just trying to prove that you don't know when the fuck Vietnam happened. Okay With guys like height is like an indicator cuz like a guy you know like the heights or whatever the women Don't see guys under 18 out. No Yeah, but girls under 18 they're going going out doing anything and getting fake IDs, you know Just talking to this guy. Do you know I didn't talk to him guys have a resident expert that girl that girl Looking like a child Vito, it's hard for me to tell will not hold up in a court I'm not trying to date any of them. That's a good video.

Wahoo! Yeah. Ow, okay, okay. We're at Comic Con, a group, all right, and the bit is asking women- Look, from six feet in the air, they just all look like, it's like Pac-Man. It's just like a bunch of fat Mexican women

fucking wandering around, like, I don't know how fucking old this one is, or this one is, let me get a fucking, oh, shit, I don't know how fucking old this one is this one is let me get a fucking oh Shit, I don't know actually It was your face right wait. Are you saying height is an indicator of age or being I'm saying it's not They're all like five feet tall yeah, yeah, well, what do you like 61? Yeah? Yeah, okay like six I'm the shortest person in this room. Basically, I was just like, you know, I'll just grab it was like a group of people in cosplay and

Dick was trying to do the classic bit of asking women to name the wars and what year they they happened Yeah, they can't do it. And yeah, I just grabbed there's like four girls walking by I'm like, oh, they're all wearing costumes I'm like, hey, you want to do this trivia thing or whatever? Yeah. I think that maybe the other ones in the group, were they all underage? I don't fucking know. Bro, the assumption is yes.

I assume so. At that point. That's where they go, yeah. I don't know. I thought they were like 16 or 17, which, does that work for the bit or no? I would think high schoolers. Nah, they gotta be.

They gotta be like adult, like 20, 20-something. They gotta have colleges. They gotta have College-age. They gotta have fucked over a couple guys. Yeah to get that kind of arrogance of like I know. I'm smart I'm smart cuz I got my pussy fucked, you know, well I think Yeah, that's how the women are. That's how it works. That's how they think. I know. Yeah, I don't know man I don't pay I've done a lot of like comic-con stuff. So I just grab people at random There's a lot of people online like oh Oh Vito, shouldn't you have known not to approach them? I'm like, I just, anybody wearing a costume. I was like, come on over. I don't expect a pack of 13 year olds to be rock walking around.

That's the other thing. I'm only in adult spaces. I just assume everybody, you know, go shit. I said, if we went on Friday, it would have would have been smarter because then it would there would have been no kids there Because it would have been in school, but we went on Saturday well Well, you can't talk to 13 year olds though. Well cuz it's not funny when they miss the war game questions, okay? Yeah, you know they're not they're not supposed to know That's the Dick and Vito were like trying to be inappropriate to these girls like he's asking them what year wars happened man Yeah, believe me. There's no nothing sexual about this conversation. No not even slightly

Yeah, so now everybody on the internet school Vito brought a 13 year old dick's house and they held her down and forced her to play war games And I'm like what the fuck are you people talking about an elf or is it a? Worster to play war games and I'm like what the fuck are you people talking about? Is that an elf or is it a jail sentence? I can't really tell Well as you pointed out also all the cosplayers are wearing makeup so they're aging themselves Yeah that's what I mean they're all going the wrong way They're all pushing in She's dead, she's gotta put their foot down or something

You're dead? Where are they? Yeah where are they? And the character she was portraying is 10,000 years old in the canon so of course I don't know what fucking character it was Well that's my problem. We had fun at Comic Con, that was fun. The footage is good. Unknown age. I almost brought in the problem of-

We gotta do something, we gotta make makeup, like beer is 18, we gotta put makeup at 18. Right? Yeah. Why not? Damn. Only damn. Right? Illegalize it.

Illegalize it. It's tricking the Doctor Disrespects of the world with these uh- It's tricking the doctor disrespects to the world with these We should have worn make see doctor disrespect would actually got away if he had said first of all He should have said she was 17 because everybody would give him a pass for that And all he had to say was like yeah, you know I was you know these these these these girls they whore themselves up with this makeup and they they trick poor unwitting guys Like me they do and I'm like I'm like his whole audience of incels would have bought into that in a second themselves up with this makeup and they trick poor unwitting guys like me. They do. And I'm like, his whole audience of insels would have bought into that in a second.

And then he said, yeah, you know, I was the messaging miners. What are you going to do? I was like, what are you going to do? That's not the way to handle this at all. I shut it down on film. Yeah, we have you going, you're 13, get the fuck out of here. Yeah. If anything, it was of here. Get out of here. Yeah, anything was very respectful.

Whew. Get out of here, clean yourself up. Take that whole thing off your face. I almost brought in the problem of forgetting to check the microphone before filming, but thankfully the left channel was fine. Oh, what, the left channel on a microphone? I have no idea why it has two channels for that microphone.

Well, it shouldn't. No, it shouldn't. Well, just double it, that's fine. Yeah, yeah, it's fine, but what I- It's not though, it's like a, I mean, it's a- It's like a ball, it has two channels for that microphone. Well, it shouldn't. No, it shouldn't. Well, just double it. That's fine. Yeah, yeah, it's fine. But what I want to know, it's like, I mean, it's like a ball. It's just like a ball. Mike 58 clone.

Yeah, it's like a cheap ball. Mike. And I was like, why the fuck should only have one channel? Yeah, I was very confused. So I can just clone it. But one of the channels is just like all fucked up. Oh, it's fucked up. But the other channel is fine.

So the audio is going to get that. We're going to get that out. Do you need editing help? I think I can probably get it out next week. I started organizing all the footage this week. That's funny man I gotta do taxes this week. Yeah, I know we gotta do it again. You're an accountant? I got an accountant, but I gotta get them the paperwork and shit I gotta go through all my that takes like 20 minutes. I gotta go through all my receipts and everything receipts just make shit up well They'll let you know when you fuck up

Number I think you messed this one all right go ahead go back to it. Yeah, and fair enough Got to do taxes. I got to do tax. I gotta edit that shit It's not hot stuff. It's hot stuff. It's hot stuff Comic-con what is it that makes you do the taxes? The money from the video. Yeah, yeah, it's not gonna make any fucking money. What do you mean? How many taxes are you doing? No, just my personal taxes. Couple taxes?

Late. No, not late. It's not till the 15th. You got that extension, right? I got that extension. Are you expecting a refund from Uncle Sam? No! Just throwing it into a black hole. Weirdly, I got sent like four grand from the IRS for like... That's probably a mistake. But it's from like 2019. I'm like what the fuck is going on?

So you can give me that money you owe me. Yeah, yeah, I can hook you up. I was like I just got a random four grand. Hey, how bad is he at paying back, paying what he owes? Dude, the worst. The worst. What are you talking about? No, no, no, Vito's good for it. What are you talking about? He's good for it. Paying back paying what he owes to the worst the worst Good for it eventually

Eventually His own watch yeah, yeah, yeah He made he made me buy three boxes of magic cards because they only limited like everybody to three yeah And then I said okay, I bought him and I sent him the receipt and nothing weeks go by and weeks go by And then he says like oh oh, you should be, hey, those badge of cards, you should be getting like delivered soon. Like I'll bring over a check then. I was like, what if, like, why don't you pay me the check

when I bought it? Listen. That's when the money got taken from me. You never sent me your receipt, did you? I forwarded you the fucking email right away. Okay, forwarding the- Busy with your taxes. Yeah. Okay.

Whatever, you got paid. If you ever want to get paid just text me I paid you hey at 4 a.m. Hey, so he's on my phone plan right for the last 10 years Absolutely, I got uh brothers. I got a notification the other day. I asked you for 92 dollars, right? It said your I'm not gonna say your but it's a your use your cash request from blank. McEwen has expired. So I that's bad. He's not lying. The phone goes to do on the twenty second. I was like on the fifth of the next month. I'm like man, can you? Hey, it's on my credit card here and also has your phones on it too. So it's like yeah, it's 92 So he's like oh you don't does

Listen I'm good for it. I'm good for it coming down the pipe dude. Where is it? It's been some hard month. You know you know who had to get both of those hotel rooms We're staying in this weekend you yeah, I got the car $400. I got the car And I got a toad that's not my fault. That's a $900 car rental $400 I got the car and I got a toad that's not my fault. That's a $900 car rental $400 We're even we all hung out Rental that is like I could have made him room Don't worry your money's coming. We're gonna your money gets item. I

Your money's coming. Your money gets itemized. I said you get a nice itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized itemized item I had to create these Star Wars Cantina. Dude. It makes me like it less. You had a Chi-Chi last night. It was good. Dude, I had sand and- Chi-Chi? Chi-Chi. I had the Chi-Chi. Chi-Chi? Right. It was delicious.

It was sand and blood. You had the sand and blood. That was sick. Did you get the one where they do the bowl that goes across the bar? No. The firework thing? No. Oh, you got to get that one.

Dude, or like the fish bowl thing or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Zombie. Dude, I don't like the juice. Just give me a- You're not a big juice guy? I'm not a big juice guy. I don't like any of that shit. Yeah, we- You don out of the juice. I don't like the juice. Just give me you're not a big juice guy I don't like any of that shit. Yeah, we you don't like the tiki drinks. They're tasty. No, I only like alcohol Yeah, I don't like I went to Dirk's birthday and I was the only guy to get a bowl

I have the fucking four straws. I had a volcano. Yeah, four straws They're like so who you drink it this way that I'm like, yeah, okay And I just uh, you know just sitting there with like sparklers going off and shit taking each straw It's like a quarter quarter liquor in there. I shared it with no Sliders a whole pineapple. Yeah Bang it on the bathroom door. Yeah, what's your problem? Disaster disaster blue balls,. Get to the side. Get to the side.

Get to the fucking side. GT? Get to the side. That's life advice. You don't even have to think about courtesy. Get to the side. Get to the side, dude. And it is hard to tell is mine.

Alright, let's do voicemails. It is hard to tell. It is hard to tell. It's easy when you're sitting at home alone thinking, well I don't want to fuck a kid, but then you know, you take the sex out of it, like just ask an 18 year old a trivia question, you're like, ooh that's pretty hard. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha She was stressed like a you know she's dressed in an IP that she couldn't have possibly known at her age though

Fucking dressed like perfect dark okay Yeah, and so like come on. What are we doing here? The green man, what about that's the perfect example zoomers not oh yeah, okay, man This is real quick. Yeah, okay, so I've noticed online that Gen Z, no offense to them, they're always referencing the mask, right? The Jim Carrey movie. Right. And my theory is that they don't know what that movie is and they just think he's the

green guy from the meme. They're like, oh, it's the green guy. So with an IP. The mask. When he has the mask on, right? What green guy though? Like the green carry guy. Jim Carrey, when he puts the mask on.

But what's the meme? So I do. They're always like, he's like dancing around the zoo or whatever. You know, he's got the wolf head or whatever. So they don't they don't have their sharing. Yeah. You told us pretty poorly. Well, this has no fun.

I mean, it has to do with not being able to tell, right? Because he's like, well, dude, she knew the fucking perfect dark. Yeah. You were even alive. You were, dude. I mean, like, there's no way you could like have experienced this thing and these people are passing this shit around. Yeah. And you find out you're like, Hey, what is that? And they go, I don't know. It's the green. It's the green guy. It's that goofy guy. Okay. That is a lot of memes. That's like people are passing around and they don't know. It's the green guy. It's the green guy. It's that goofy guy. That is a lot of memes. People are passing around, and they don't have any idea who they are or where they're from. Did you ever listen to Calyx in Berkeley?

No. Is that a band? No, it's a radio show. No, it's the Berkeley. Calyx. And I remember listening to it, and a guy's like, this next song is from an album that I'm getting into called Pretty Hate Machine.

I don't know if you guys have heard of it. It's a seminal industrial album. I don't know if you guys have heard of it and it's like it's a seminal industrial I don't know if you guys have heard of nine inch nails for everybody. They have no context I remember driving around in a car There's this one kid who everybody was really mean to and I felt bad. Was it you? Is that the? No that's the weird story. That's the weird thing. And that person was me. Driving around in a wheelchair. You know what's weird is that I was not- Were you the retarded kid?

No! It's weird I was not the bottom rung of the social ladder, but I knew like some of those kids I was like I don't know that retarded kid had friends Helping him meet I was good in high school, people loved me. I won battle of the bands Did you go to school with Mr. Girl? We went to the same school, but we were not in the same grade So he graduated- he was a senior when I came, wasn't freshman.

He was grooming you, shocker. No, I didn't know him at all. I knew of him. Everybody in my school knew of him. But I wasn't like friends with him or anything. Okay. So I'm driving around with this kid and he goes, I just found this cool guy, I don't know if you, like this is like some cool weird old music. I'm like what is it? He's goes, I just found this cool guy. I don't know if you, like, this is like some cool, weird old music.

I'm like, what is it? He's like, his name's Jimmy Hendrix. And I was like, dude, we're in high school, man. You can't, you can't be doing this. Jimmy Hendrix rules. Another one was, you remember how Weird Al used to do those like polka covers of all the popular songs from that year?

Yeah. So one time I was playing like one of those songs, I think it was like Green Day kid goes. Oh my God. That somebody covered that weird Al song and I'm like you just didn't understand what that was. That's that's also I think it was the same kid that kid sucked. Dude don't hang out and I was like a doctor all the weird wait. So you fell bad for this guy music. What's the big deal? That's a little he was kind of a nerd. He deserved the ridicule.

He was the one time I tried to play D&D because he was like, I'll be the dungeon master. And then I was trying to have fun, you know? Because there's a bunch of skeletons and I'm like, I chop his dick off or something. You know, just like fucking around because we're in high school. And he's like, you need to take this seriously. I put a lot of work into this campaign.

I'm like, true. Bro! He's like you need to take this seriously. I put a lot of work into this campaign like true How would you chop a skeleton's dick off I don't remember what I fucking said Dick let me show you something. What was it like? It's an old painting. You're gonna love this. There's an old painting Okay, literally we're talking about this. Is it a human skeleton go? Okay? It's a human No, you're right listen, You're right. This is right This is a writing fun 18 a exhibit a It's death taking a piss taking a piss See that's wonderful, so you know right into death's penis. No, this could be a woman That's how women piss standing up like

Let me see that I mean whoa This could be a woman. That's how women piss standing up like That's a skeleton letting a leak out Woman right look at her hunched over like a dog you're either kind of we Franchise we just think skeleton no female death. Oh, no, sorry. Yeah, they have that. That's not funny They have that do you know my male death has been like Norm MacDonald. That's true. Oh, sorry, I don't know. They have been. That's not funny. They have been. The only male death has been like Norm MacDonald. That's true. Yeah, every single other one has been. Yeah, I'm watching the live show right now.

God damn it. It's... Shut up! Like, DVR shit. I... I'm behind. But I'm watching the broadcast. The chat's still going. But I see in the corner of my screen, in my recommendations, there is biggest problem 24-7 with 12 people watching. Yeah, 12 people.

Who the fuck is watching old episodes when the new one is on? That's a good question. Is there some poor guy who's just like watching? That's a good question. And he's like, wow. He doesn't weigh exactly the same amount as he did. There you go.

Fuck, I fucked up the bit. That was a terrible, terrible effort. It's people who left their computers on letting it run, man. I don't think people are watching. You love that because it's like an ad impression impression Yeah, yeah, you get a couple of impressions Something with Chinese Vita. What's up, dude? So I've been also on those in big specifically I'm actually just doing straight compounded semiglucide, you know, you know getting it from a Chinese pharmacy offline much like yourself nice trying to pay full price, but

See the thing is from July 1st until now. I've lost 25 pounds going from 260 to 235 So I'm pretty good good job. Fuck if you not dude. I can't I wasn't taking I'm eating 2,000 calories today And it's hard to cram down Sometimes I'm eating way less than that. I'm just going on walks every day. It's not like I'm doing anything fucking crazy workout wise And this shit just melts off. So lay it out for us. What you doing, buddy? What's atomic? I told you I went off it for a while. It was making me sick. Fun little ideas. Have a good one. Go fuck yourself. I was throwing up all the time so I had to change.

You were throwing up all the time? I was. So I had to change really? Get him lifting. That's one way to lose weight. Get him lifting. I'm trying. Get his ass lifting. Just a fucking simple shit. I'm gonna put a bunch of sandbags in front of the door next week

That's why I gotta move on to sandbags. Come on beat. Let's get to the gym, baby. I'm healthy. Everything's healthy Oh, yeah, but you can be strong imagine being strong veto. We've never had strong veto. I want to be strong. Oh, okay Healthy no, I do I wanna die. Oh, okay. Healthy. Nah, I don't wanna do that. I do like that you're happy though. I'm happy with what's going on. There you go. I like that too. Yo, Vito should be like embarrassed

to say that he likes Clone High at all. That show fucking sucks dude. I couldn't even fit like halfway through the first episode. All the fucking jokes are just so bad. The jokes are bad. Stupid bad, which is never good. And like if that's actually, that doesn't seem like Veto's sense of humor, but if that's

Veto's sense of humor, like he should just kill himself. Damn bro. Oh my god, that is awful. Oh that's my sense of humor like he should just kill himself. Oh my god that's my sense of humor. Do you know who wrote Clone High? Who? Miller and Lord. Who's that? The guys who made 21 Jump Street, the guys who made the Lego movie, the guys who made Enter the Spider-Verse. So literally. Superstar. Okay they're like literally the two of the most popular writers in Hollywood right now all their movies make Millions and millions of dollars with each year. That means less and less I all I'm saying is you can't tell me oh you've such trash taste when my taste is the same as every popular

You're right the Lego movie is like a we stupid. I've never seen the whole Lego For kids you'd have That's spider-man That's spider-verse shit is good though. Which one both the well the first one second one. What's the good? What's the good part? What's your favorite part? So when spider-man is black yeah, I don't really remember any of it either What's the good part in this spider-man movie? I like when uh what do you call it? He like has a threesome with the spider ladies right? Like when uh, what do you call it? He like has a threesome with the spider ladies, right?

Though there's the pig the spider pig. There's a little anime spider girl is fun I don't like that anime spider, but there's what's his name? Who's the spider-man noir? Yeah, you got a lady doctor octopus. Whatever. It's just I didn't like I really didn't like that lady doctor Actually, the best part of those movies is the Peter Parker He's like down on his luck the one who's like kind of Being a shitty mentor. That's a great character Yeah, I like that guy I Like how they miles Morales is like kind of talks black, but not completely so it's off-putting Yeah, like I'm all in here. Did they call they call the female doctor octopus doctor act a pussy

They call her it's it is actually close to that what yeah Well cuz it's auto Octavius, so she's like Fuck I can't remember okay. I think it still is Octavius though So these guys these guys are the dudes you're willing to defend right Miller and Lord are do really good comedy, man What are you talking about? They didn't they didn't work on the new seasons of clone high was rather bad comedy is tough Clone high is great Clone high sucks. You didn't watch it. I can't see I can't watch I've watched like a commercial You have not watched any of it. You can't say And JFK yeah

I'm too busy watching like Burt Lancaster movies from like Talk shit about clone high it's like literally one of the best animated comedies of all time. I your Class era that's not right You got and then George Can't tell a lie I don't like Washington if he's in it he's a background character. He's not a main character. A-Blinken. A-Blinken. That's got what's-his-name? It's got Will Forte. We love Will Forte.

No, he sucks. Big time. Will Forte? He's a deserving talent. Who is he? He's the one, uh... He had that sitcom for a while, The Last Man on Earth. Which immediately went off the rails when it turned out he was not the last man on Earth. They put another man in there? They put a whole bunch of people in there.

Well, okay, so they introduced another man-carrier who was a big fat guy. The guy who plays Jimmy's friend, fat friend on Better Call Saul or whatever. Okay, I don't know the guy, but yeah. Whatever. And then I'm like, is this PKA. Did we just become PKA right now? Well, I'm just saying when that guy showed up. I said I get it It's gonna turn out that that character's trans because the name of the show is last man on earth Yeah, and they didn't do that The overweight dude is like really like kind and he's like super helpful

But then he's also like looking at will force you like I'm gonna fucking kill you It was a good premise for a show until they had another last man on earth I'm like well now you've lost the whole point of the show to met two men on earth Yeah, and his brother is an astronaut one again three men on earth because the brother comes back from space two and a half men The biggest man in the universe it started off decent to an F man. That's a good show. It's decent. The biggest man in the universe. It started off decent. Okay. Went off the rails. The biggest fucking problem in the universe. And I do not mean this sarcastically or satirically is not being able to drink at work. Think about it. I have watched two people lose their jobs. Dude, start arresting. For coming to

work drunk. And I've watched one guy guy lose his job for coming in hungover even though he did his job great if you're in the office that's bullshit literally nothing bad can happen his job at the blowjob factory where the collar also works shit nailed it

it is the most soul sucking fucking thing that's ever happened to anybody ever a couple drinks, I am at my best self. I'm happier, I'm more outgoing, I'm way more productive, I'm into whatever the fuck it is that I'm doing. It doesn't matter what it is because it relaxes me. But for some reason, you can't do that because it's fun, I guess. And somebody might say, oh, well, it's a safety thing. What if somebody might say oh well it's a safety thing like what if somebody's got a drive okay so what if they have to drive let them have a couple beers I mean there's a there's a legal limit

I could be hiding beers in my car, but if I can come home black out drunk from bowling every Thursday and still make it oh fuck home fine I'm pretty sure a guy who has to drive across the street for some parts can fucking do it with two beers in his belly. It's the fucking chick that's texting on her phone that's going to kill everybody. Not being able to drink at work is a huge, it is the biggest fucking problem. I hate my job. It is a big problem.

I do agree with that. You know what? Robert, they used to have, I was looking up, you know those little bars that lawyers have in the office or like businessmen, you know, you saw my madmen all the time Yeah, sure. Those have like an actual name and I was like what happened that? Why don't what I kick normalize that they're called the sidekick Sidekick bar. Is it I think I had like a like a fun Secret spy name. Oh, yeah. What do you think it was called? This is the secret spy bar

What do you think it was called? The secret spy bar I don't know if I can remember The incognito bar I want one of those It's supposed to look like a little table I always wanted, when I grew up I always wanted one of those globes that turned into that had liquor in it

That's cool Inglorious Bastards put that shit to bed, that was the best globe bar I've ever seen When Mike Myers characters. And then I grew up and became an alcoholic and I'm like, it's not funny to have a globe bar. This shit is hard in the streets motherfucker. This shit sucks dude. It's not cute like that. You thought it would be. It's not funny. My grandparents had one of those, you know, in the basement. You have like a little bar.

I always was like, but by the time I was going over there like they didn't use it as a bar anymore It's like their entertaining days were over was just full of crap, dude Oh, and I was be like man this this has been pretty cool at the height They had like a little entertaining room with a little bar and my grandpa had a bar like that Yeah He had a bunch of mugs and one of them was this ceramic boob and I remember visiting my grandparents and I would just like Lay down in there and on the couch and look at That sir. I'm just chubb up. I

For some reason I was like a kid Interesting man, that's a real My grandpa died and the only thing I got a gun shotgun and he these four glasses that have these naked Silhouette women on them, and I was like yes, that's all I wanted. That's pretty and my mom said you know what's funny I got my dad those glasses When I was a kid like that's weird. I wish I still had it when my grandpa died. I took his He was a cop so he had his old Colt Catalog he was an Italian cop no no this is my Irish grandpa He was a cop, so he had his old cult catalog.

He was an Italian cop? No, no, this was my Irish grandpa. No, I think I've said that my grandfather set a standard of masculinity that is impossible to live up to, and it's why my entire life I've been like, I'm not even gonna try. Because fucking, grandpa Giswoldi on my mother's side

fucking went from the Navy to beat cop to lead detective to FBI Agent damn to own is a whistle his own law firm, and I'm like how is that one life? What the fuck was he in? Yeah Service yeah, yeah, he went from the Navy to he is working over he was a guarding fucking

astronauts and shit and No, like like he said guarding well for some rising guarding astronauts Because they were lying But I think he said, you know when the astronauts got back they have to be in that decompression chamber or whatever? He was guarding the chamber. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They guard the chamber to make sure nobody walks through it.

Yeah, or they're trying to get out or something. The Ruskies, they're wily. They were trying to get in there, dude. They had to make sure they didn't have a space virus. It doesn't really sound like- These fuckers, if you turn your back, these astronauts will try and get out of the cell. You're like venom, huh? Yeah, my job.

They treat snakes in the cage, dude. You had to keep the astronauts from passing out until they were... They came back with the space fever, they're all just screaming and shitting on each other, and he's like, you stay in there until that space fever leaves your body, motherfucker. That doesn't sound like a very important job. He had to kill an astronaut because they tried to get out. Anyway, yeah, yeah. No, but uh... Center to the sun. Yeah, my sister, it's actually funny if I was smart. My sister was smart, cause uh... The FBI- That was you honking that thing? That was me honking a little uh, little pig guy there. My sister got a great FBI scholarship.

I could've got one if I had taken the time as the... You gonna go to the FBI? No, but you get a... You can arrest Trump supporters. Descendants of FBI, they give away like big money and scholarships for some reason. For what? Like Pokemon Camp? Well yeah, I'm pretty sure my sister works for the government now. What are you doing with my tape? Why did you grab that?

I need a little tape. You do not need my tape! I need a little tape, my papers are falling apart. That's resources! Can I have the pig? Those are my... Yeah, you can have the pig. I have a whole box of bags of pigs.

You keep moving it away. I know you have a whole box of pigs. Here. You guys want a pig? Oh shit, yeah. Everybody. Oh my god, Oinktober! Oinktober is real, folks. Dude, celebrating. So you have my family's full-

No, no, no, no, no, don't waste my fucking tape! My family is full of spooze. What can you do? Okay, alright. You should be able to drink at work, though. Yeah, you should. I mean, the rule is like, you know, go nuts, get crazy. That's the rule? the rule is like you know go nuts get crazy Don't go nuts get crazy if you fuck up you're done. There's no like second. Yeah exactly It's like yeah, dude if you if you're on the clock, and you're like he was wasted and he hit a kid with his semi-truck

It's like yeah, you're done, but if you get a kill your semi-truck, and you're sober don't use that Is that a bad one? Well? Yeah? He's like King you know I'm Steven King spilled some beer if you cuss out if you cuss out a customer yeah wait I was gonna do you mind if I say something about this caller say it yeah I don't think that guy should drink I think he needs it I think he needs to take a puff from the peace no fuck it no people don't like drinking like dude people are kind of weak and weird and they're puritanical Go nuts

Two weeks ago called in about um Blade runner and then week Again like tripling down on not understanding what Blade Runner is. I get it, this is boring. He thought it's a little more complex. Okay, you make Blade Runner video. Which is crazy because the concept, to me at least, the concept of like human consciousness and like what it means to be human,

what separates us from animals and like by proxy like what religion is all based off of and like why we fight wars and what politics is all stemmed from understanding what human consciousness is and that seems to fix the point of Blade Runner is What makes us different from animals what makes us different from you know like? Like machines that we build why can we subject to them to suffering? that we build why can we subject them to suffering? This great school of philosophy is like tears in the rain gone from his ear. Interacting with people negatively and hurt them and abuse them whatever it is. Wow. That's the whole point of Blade Runner and what you've been coming from and understanding it.

And I don't understand how any of those things which are like these nebulous answers and will never actually get to the bottom two and that's why we like talk about them and write books and movies and plays and yeah even fucking weird comics you know that will never get done I think that's more complex question what is love something that delves into human consciousness like Blade Runner and Do Andrews. Is it all just synapses and electrons, man? And also, iRobot was written in like 1950 or something. Damn, how long is his voice, man? He wrote the rules.

It's almost done. It came out in like 65 or 68. So I mean, honestly, the grand scheme is pretty similar. So I guess maybe he's right that Asimov was doing it first. But I've never read Asimov, but I've actually read Bill K. Dick. So they aren't biased. Whatever.

All right, bye. Fuck you. What is a sunset? So his question was, OK, what's more complex than all of that? That's what he's asking you. Because you said you thought Blade Runner was more complicated than all that stuff. What's more complicated than all that stuff?

Than empathy? No, all that's he explained it pretty well. What separates us from complicated than all that stuff? Then empathy no all that's he explained it what separates us from animals and all that shit who cares? What's okay? What's more complicated than that? There's a variety of things I mean that's an odd question to put me on the spot with a lot of things could be more complicated What's name like I'll give you time to get into the goddamn gym name like a piece of fiction that perhaps no no what's like an idea? That's more complicated than like the nature of what and consciousness well I'm like what is humanity first question where what am I where am I what am I what am I what is this? Why am I doing this? What is can't go deeper? Why is it? I'm more black use the creations. We've made

I think the point is that it's When you keep it more ambiguous than just kind of stating it outright. What's more complicated than what's more complicated than the nature of what is a man? Yeah, what's more complicated than what's what is the point of? I'm trying to think how I would even begin to go out answering that question. Then you've got them. Is this an interesting question? No, is this an interesting question I think I

know where you're going I understand you know what I'm saying is like if all Blade Runner is about is it's not all it's about I know but that's what I'm saying it's like perfect opening to a movie because you're like I need to get I think there's more to it then there's more to it than what does it mean to be human? Yes. No, that is the... It's a big problem. It's a big complex. It's many facets. That is what it is, but I'm saying the conclusion is like too simplistic.

Okay. Wait, Ridley's conclusion or everybody's thoughts about it? Well, that's the other problem is that there's the director, there's the writer, and then there's the book. I mean, it's an abstraction. There's three different... Well, I'm being told it's not an abstraction, so... You're being told by whom? A lot of people.

Here. Don't listen to them, Vito. Whatever. All I've learned is Blade Runner sucks. Oh, no, dude. No. That's all right. It's good. When I saw it in theaters three times, you know, the sequel...

When I saw... Were you in the theater when everybody got real was your audience really uncomfortable when there's like the kind of rapey almost scene where Rachel keeps trying to leave and here's before it's like good fucking can't oh yeah no no no the second when I saw it in an Oakland theater all the all the white kids in attendance were like I can't believe well you live in 2046 or whatever when it's raining piss well in attendance were like, I can't believe I can't believe. Well, you live in 2046 or whatever when it's raining piss. Well guys, don't forget, get your super chats in now guys. Biggest problem that show vote on all the problems and patreon.com slash biggest problem.

I want to thank our guests. Guys, you got anything you want to plug here today? I first just like to say thanks. It's really fucking awesome to be on the show. Well're happy to have you. Thanks for the pizza long time dude I mean obviously a friend but like even if you weren't I'd be watching the show. It's sick as fuck. Thank you. Yeah So I guess I'm like what is that a multi-hyphenate or whatever which sucks fucking hate that but It was like yes, whatever like I have a pizza place in fucking Oakland. It's called Hesher's Pizza. It's in Jacqueline Square It's cool. Just come hang out. It's awesome, and then I have a band called Night Hammer. It's black metal

I believe you posted on your Twitter and everybody hated it, which is awesome So does it sound like like what is it's like immortal destroyer 666. It's black metal stuff What does it sound like? Like, what is it? It's like Immortal, Destroyer 666, it's black metal stuff. Do it, like, do it. It's black metal. Do-do-do- to run the door just death they come to kill the man Joke so the yeah the less the less you can't really you don't want it to be intelligent I can't do it check it out. I gave you the record check it out if you want

There's a little download code or night hammer. Where do we find night hammer? Night hammer us or night hammer s dot band camp calm night hammer us us dot band camp that record came out in June 28th I think and then we just finished recording a year hammer again for the second record which is Struggler which is yet to be released. Struggler coming soon yeah and check out Hesher's pizza in Oakland which will soon have a biggest problem pizza yes absolutely we got to make it happen whatever you guys want yeah you let me know we do we do like band pizzas we do like special like October just like O mania, seven different kinds of ham and yeah, fuck yeah. Yeah. I think it's a hashers underscore pizza on Instagram. Okay.

I do. I do a little thing about some of these pizzas. They're good looking Pete's. Yeah. we do some wild shit, but yeah guys. Thanks. It was fucking sick. Well next time I'm in Oakland Horrors and stuff Actually, we have like a poster series that we did for the shirt where I have always have questions black and white sort of deal It's wet t-shirt stuff Yeah, they're in the restrooms at Hessian's. That's why I spend a lot of time in there. And that might be the, yeah exactly, you might be interrupting somebody having a good time if they're at Hessian's or whatever because they're in there. Yeah, we do a lot of wild stuff dude. Like there's a lot of music. There's a lot of like band stuff. Yeah, that's it I'm done whatever I still haven't been to the

actual place DJ or something this is the rap can I can I do this at the Oscars would actually be better I make pizza that's what it sounds like hell yeah it's a part of the hyphenate I don't think that's how that works. No, I think it's just like the I mean obviously being a local business dude or whatever and then also being in a band and Doing other stuff on the internet is obviously the multi stupid ass thing. Have you ever heard him rap? It's good It's crazy good. He yeah crazy good. Remember I told you to put a price on people Asking for you to rap and you never did. V did veto 50 bucks you you didn't listen to Eminem And you chose to bitch out instead of I didn't lose myself in the moment

He doesn't like pressure when people are like when they start expecting things where he's like, okay, it's not the pressure It's the it's the expectation. What don't you just does it good? You're really good at this shit I said dropping limes and I still can't get over it dropping limes What's the expectation? What? Don't. Dude, you're good. You're really good at this shit. I said dropping limes and I still can't get over it. Dropping limes? Yeah, instead of saying dropping rhymes, I stumbled. When? Who cares?

On our show. Have you seen riff-raff freestyle? And people in the comments are going, wow, that freestyle was great. I went, I said, I'm dropping limes. Beat him. Beat him. What am I, a fucking idiot? Nobody cares.

I want to do some raps. That's what you're beating yourself up for? Why don't we do it now? Jeez. Lying you know what am I fucking idiot nobody know my head on? What you're that's what you're being why don't we do it Nobody cares why don't we do it focus on those little things so you don't to focus on the big ones you said we're gonna Do an album yeah Dope as hell well then we did that other bit thing and I have it I've had allergies all week you listen to either of the songs. They sent you no all right Well, that's actually good cuz I sent you the first one I'm like, oh he hates it cuz he doesn't say anything. No, I'm just like, you know, if we're gonna sit down and do music We'll sit down and do it. I'm not gonna you know gear up for it

No, I don't understand that at all. What do you mean? Come over it? Well, you don't play any instruments. I don't play any instruments When you asked me to do he asked me he said at least better. It's better. I'll play everything I got it, but I'm not gonna sit there listening Cuz I'll get too involved and then it becomes all night if I hear it and it's good I'm gonna get sucked in I'm gonna do it all night. So we'll make a whole day of it and do it Yeah, I can sing I can rap. That's it dude. Who's Hall who's oats? Which one I think both of those Like I think both Instrumentals, I'm on. Which one is? I think both of those guys could play. I don't know, actually. That's what I'm saying.

I'm like, I think both of those guys play instruments. I think they have multi-instrumentals. Yeah, dude. What were they? Hall and Oats, Darryl Hall and Monty Oats. Private Eyes, they're watching you. Yeah. Oh, dude.

I mean, I don't even know any Hall and Oats song titles. Which one was that, J6? Dude, both of them. Private Eyes, Sarah Smile, Radio. What are we going to do with all these pigs? Dan sent them from anything else. This is awesome. Oh, Dan sent them? Yeah, and then all that, our show got all, you know,

tumultuous for a while. I think it's a good time for these pigs. These are fine, they're great. Okay. Ryan, what have you been up to, buddy? I'm gonna be humble. Yeah. Dick, thanks for having me over.

Thanks for coming. Thanks for the Diet Coke, for letting me pet your dog. Yeah. Dick, thanks for having me over. Thanks for coming. Thanks for the diet coke, for letting me pet your dog, for... Yeah. Thanks for the pizza. Yeah. You. Vito. I've done nothing for you. No, no. What was the coconut bullshit you had me? Oh, I bought you a ChiChi last night. Yeah. Thanks for the ChiChi. Yeah. It was a good ChiChi. Thanks for taking us to Cantors. Thanks for paying for Cantors. Yeah. I had a good time. It's great. Yeah. It's fantastic. Thanks for letting me move in. Shout out Dave. He's a really good writer and he has stuff on the internet you can read. I know that that's like the most uncool thing.

Like Twitter? No, like actual written word novels and stuff. Like very good self published. Sorry, I didn't want to put you on the spot like that, but like excellent shit. I mean, Grit Calhoun is a character that he has. It awesome. Sorry. Yeah, it's really all the haters who call me a twink are gonna Without like there's no cynicism he's like I, I like stuff. I'm going to talk about it and reading. It's a good time. Like it's funny and entertaining and thoughtful and like very cool. Um, I mean you, I don't want to do this. You have to talk about it. Okay. Uh, Dick Vito, do you know anyone in the entertainment industry and big Hollywood? Yeah, sure. Okay. So McEwen andune and I are are gonna write a

scream we're talking about a screenplay we're writing well coke and spicer well that's I mean it's your brainchild no we're talking I have my own dude I have novels I've been written since I was like 21 years old we're gonna eat a mushroom chocolate bar and pumps for tomorrow Yeah, yeah Coyote God Count the number of great books written on mushrooms on one hand zero We'll be eating the continental breakfast the next day and we'll hash it out. Okay. Well, I am jealous It's going out to the desert

What are you guys leaving tomorrow? Probably around noon or something. He's going to still be up. Oh, okay. So if you wake up and you're free, we'll stick around. Come on. Vito, can you do my impression of you? I know you did an impression of yourself earlier by accident.

I don't know. You were like, you're like, Oh, when I was second, when I was in, yeah, that is Kerwin. Kerwin and I love is I love these two guys. I love how's Kerwin? Oh, so Kerwin and I used to be your laugh, dude. Michael Kerwin, the veto leffins. We should. Okay, we all were living in Oakland. And we all kind of gravitated and orbited around Tim Rogers, who's my Rock and Roll Blood brother. I met him in Japan. We were in bands together.

So we were in Oakland. And everybody was kind of around doing stuff for video games and comedy or whatever else. Michael Kerwin is one of the programmers for to indie. It was one of Tim Tim Yeah, Tim. I had a video game comedy making video ball. He's one of the video ball programmers Yeah, Rogers guys. It really liked to Tim Rogers the Tim Rogers. So there is weird Yeah Longtime viewers of my channel if you ever watched the video where I went to a horse

Betting track and we bet on the horses. That was me and Kirwan was in that video Yeah, dude I think that's the one time me and Kerwin ever like really hung out for a whole day. I was like, you want to go to the horse track and bet on orange. Good old boy from Michigan, dude. He's lost every race. There are currents are good. Yeah. Yeah. The Halcyon video ball days as I call them. It's yeah, it's fantastic. There's just a lot of video game shit. A lot of like people just kind of doing stuff. Yeah, it felt fun. And was a lot of cool guys one guy who's fucking sucks and I hate

him. Yeah. All right. Call Mr. B. S. Whoa, wait a minute. That's also my brother. That's a good friend of mine. What do you think he does this? He's really picked spice. That guy hates me. He's got nothing. He does. He does. He does. He does. He does. He does. I'll talk about a B ran. All right. The guy who says I'm a he's like, all right, you know, I used to think I was cool until You know what mistaken but let's leave it at that Government you just want to be racist Chinese factory workers get

He just wants to watch Chinese factory workers get sucked up. Everyone wants to watch that. I get so many messages from people and they go, Hey Vito, I know you take a lot of shit on the show, but I love those videos. I get it. The alt-right is about like the economy and you know, military adventures and not just racism. I'm not afraid. No shopping cart bullshit. We all do. We're racist because we want to help Americans you just races for the hell I know is a lot of good memories out of Oakland other than my car getting stolen and chopped into pieces Does anyone who lives in the Bay Area not have a story about all their shit getting stolen?

No, they lost your records. I lost my car Tim lost his fucking camera equipment at one point. Oh, yeah, did you hear about that? Yeah, I don't even know why Tim dude dude, he put it in his back seat. People listening, they didn't know, he was out here shooting a whole thing. For a whole week, he got all these permits, he's called all these because he's filming historic LA landmarks. So he had to set up like, hey, can I come here and film this thing for this video? I won't say what the video is and I probably, whatever. But anyway, so he's filming it and then he goes, oh, I'm going to- It's about cuties.

I'm going to Oakland for like a couple of days. And I think our buddy Dirk even tells him, he's like, well, make sure you don't leave that fucking camera in the car. Goes to Oakland, came to Oakland, which is like the Bipping center. Like people like, I love culture. Oakland's culture. Their culture is like breaking into cars and stealing shit. That's not there. Cool, man. I want to come hang out here. What's the point? It's like, it fucking sucks. And, uh, well yeah, but you got that now you got a pizza place there. Well, you gotta keep, man, you got security in that place. Oh, you don't, you don't need it. It's, it's kind of not like that. There's a lot of stuff has changed. It's bad. I don't even know what to say else

about it. It's changed from last month when Tim rock got all the stolen. It's the thing. It's like, yeah, I don't even know. Well, if you're in like a particular... Different areas have different levels of shit. Well, he made the mistake of being in like Rockridge and doing it, which is like an affluent section of Oakland. So people go into the nice part of town to steal from the nice people. That's the thing, they're going to the nice part of town. They're not, actually if you're in the shittier

neighborhood, you're probably safer. And they're looking for rental cars, and they're looking for people that are obviously not, they don't live there. Toro. But they also don't give a shit. But they're looking for tourists, and they not they don't live there, but they also don't give a shit But they're looking for tourists and they just steal their bags and stuff like that Point is next time I come into that neck of the woods. We're going to the flea market. Absolutely We're gonna buy up the rest of your Shit yeah, man. All right guys. Well, we're gonna read some super chats

Thank you to everybody again biggest, biggestproblem.show. Fun on all the problems. Patreon.com slash biggest problem. Go there and subscribe or we'll die. That's how it goes. Tell your friends, too, if you have any. Yeah. Take your parents' credit cards.

Absolutely. Buy fake accounts. ZetaQuinxil for two. Thanks for not killing yourselves. CardinalCardinal for five. We love veto. Coo for two. Thank you for not killing yourselves.

BlackCrimson for five. Australian thanks for two. Thank you for not killing yourselves. Black Crimson five Australian. Thanks for the snacks. Thanks for not killing yourselves. Brits man for fives. Dick zips through our super chats like a whore trying to finish you off too early. Take your time and enjoy it. You're on the clock, honey. Weird money for 10 Polizingans says weird money. Oh, I get it. Cause he's actually paying in. He's paying in Polish. Polish has met again for five happy oinktober I see a hot black woman. I go bonkers or boinkers video sees a black man in a dress. He goes oinkers Fr8 to foot Fr8 to or to

Fr8 to 4 to 5. Thank you for no more catgirl. I've been hearing so much about this Catgirl song. Oh man. Dick had a crazy person calling to the show apparently. She's like, she's like maxed out on Skitso and maxed out on Attention Whoring and maxed out on Try Hard. So it's really, like usually you get one of those three two is iffy but three is like a perfect storm this is a girl who was a discord moderator

she's a discord moderator for Maddox and she called she left this big voicemail for me about I just had a bonus episode playing it where Maddox invited this girl to comic-con to share a room with him and then she was hooking up with another guy so he wigged out kicked her out and then like obsessively called her all night And then she left his voicemail and then went to jail immediately She got arrested because her ex-husband tried to strangle her in the bathtub, which I wish he would have succeeded You listen her and it's like a lopsided bicycle, like lopsided wheels,

and it's the worst of the worst. She doesn't live close, right? No, she lives in Bayhart, Bayer, Texas. Okay, good. You bailed her out? Yeah, because I thought she sent me that hilarious voicemail and I was like, oh, bail her out. Oh, this is going to be great. I'll get her on the show. How much was bail? 250 bucks. You bailed her out? Yeah, because I thought she sent me that hilarious voicemail and I was like, oh bail her out You're gonna be great, I'll get her on the show

Yeah, yeah How much was bail? 250 bucks Eh, it's not bad And then she called in and she had just done meth apparently Oh boy So to hear all this I gotta go to the patreon.com slash the Dick Show, is that correct? Yeah

Oh, I'm getting in there I gotta hear that Later tonight I gotta hear that Well, and the last episode, it was really bad. Well, Dick, there's a request for you to read this Super Chat for 5 USD. That's not enough from requesting a DCP. Well, then I guess not. It says,

The Super Chat should be read by Dick, and he wanted you to say we love Vito, but Dick refused. DiamondG for 2.22. Holy Super Killer, I'm about to oink my pants. Johnny Rockett for 50 in the monster truck voice. The time of super- actually you wanna do this one? Which one? Where is it at? It's a Johnny Rocket. The 50 bucks one. Oh shit.

Right here, can you see it? The time of super killer shilling has ended. Now begins the age of... Helephant. Helephant shilling. What the fuck? Helephant campaign goes live this Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! Reserve your copy this Sunday or the PDF files win!

Thanks for all the support, jerk. Helephant going live. I assume that's going to be over on Indiegogo, maybe fun to my comic, but guys, check out Helephant from Johnny Rockets. That's going to be funny, man. Johnny Rockets funny. He's really funny. He's nailing it. TBF for two, this is the only October surprises a veto took a shower

Lawrence Devaney for five Australian veto if Ocarina of times the most overrated game. What's the most underrated? I'd have to think about that. What's the most underrated Zelda game? Zelda 2 is a little underrated. I feel damn. Link? Link sucked man. Wait no, Link to the past? No. No, no, the second- And the sidescrolling shit, that was dog shit. Fuck you. I had to be five years old to like it.

That was the biggest fucking disappointment of my fucking life. Getting that shit, plugging it in, going, what the fuck is this, Mario with a sword? And it's hard? He was like, tall. He was taller than everybody. I was like, Link's like a small guy. He was like a grown up.

He was like, I'm not, this is like a teenager? Fuck teenagers. I don't love Zelda 2, but I do think that it is interesting. Well, how old were you when you played it for the first time? No, I hated it when I was a kid. It's only coming back to it that I kinda like it. Maybe I should read it as a...

Fuck that. I see a direct line from that game to Dark Souls. Shit. Yes. Wow. I could see that. I'm like, this is like the proto Dark Souls. A! Yes! Wow. I could see that. Yeah. I'm like, this is like the proto Dark Souls. A lot of the same kind of ideas. Big Not Russian Productions for a hundred bucks! BOOM! Again with no message.

J-Rob detailing Ireland for five. Dick, Vito, cheers boys. Drink, drink, drink. I cum buckets for two. Oink oink squeal oink squeal. Vito can translate. Thank you Big Not Russian Productions. Wow. Diamond G for five. problem of making choices which was later changed to making decisions is the greatest problem in show history. Flirt it up. Was that something we did making choices or was that another show? I don't remember.

Yeah for two late let's all go watch trash cast. Diamond G for two trumps on two. Cole Marklin for five through the first third of oinktober and super killer very excited for the thermos love the thermos rallying friends for five happy oinktober Fest boys can the issue crew get a shout out for the unbelievable not often achieve milestone of 108 episodes That is a big milestone. That is good. It's hard to get past the show on Monday, but I Could not function. I guess I'm going on a Ralph show, I think, on Wednesday. You're going to argue with Sven about comics? What am I arguing about, though? That's the weird thing.

Why did you agree to go on? He requested me specifically. So? Something's going on at Sven Stauffels or whatever. I don't know. He's going to yell at me about comics. I'm excited. Scarforfive five the pig

In parentheses veto it says I don't understand why the fans think I'm trying to scam them also veto buy my crypto scam Let's go. It's not a whatever. I just posted a stupid coin. Oh, yeah I thought you were hacked. It was it was pick was it no, it's my coin my coin I just missed the G. Here's what I think that is Somebody sends me a message and they go It's Pi coin, Pi coin. I just, I made that up. He missed the G. Here's what happens. What do you think that is? Somebody sends me a message and they go, oh, hey, there's a crypto thing. And I just sign up for it.

And then I forget about it two days later. Damn. Dude, don't do that. You're like BMG, like Columbia Record House. Whenever there's free, when there's like a free crypto and it cost me nothing to get a couple of coins, I'll get a couple of coins, see what happens. Like 30 cents.

Yeah, I know, it's not going to be worth anything. But it's always't you but it's always are you gonna like dig coins out of a fountain next? That's just something to do. No, I looked into it and then I said this is stupid Tratergery for five ten dollar bills for vetoes booty. I don't know what that means So that equate sell for two happy second week of owing toberfest my Piggers a for two. Can I. Is that a quick sell for two? Goon maxing today in the Crimtacular non-after show. Yeah, get crimp-pilled. It's an after show for this. Don't do Vito's shitty video game hangout stream. Go to get crimp-pilled. I'm not doing a video game. We're gonna get crimp-pilled.

Vito never shows up for his fucking stream. Are you still laying down? We're gonna get crimp-pilled. I'm not doing a video game hangout stream. I'm not doing a video game hangout stream. I'm notes shitty video game hangout stream go to get crimp. I'm not doing Fucking crazy You gotta go full homer simpson in the moon I stop the setup right I just haven't I love it. Put a quest on and emulate games on that and just lay down completely. That's how those Elon Musk... I was confused at first. I'm like, there's no way these robots are actually AI.

And it's like, no, there was guys guiding them. You saw that? No, I was gonna bring that in tonight. Oh, what? I got tricked. I was like... There was a dude with like a little joysticks and shit? It's guys wearing full VRs. No! Yes.

That shit ain't real. Yeah. There's no robots. There's no Rosie the even the way he was like, one day, maybe we'll have this in the house, and they'll do whatever you want. The way they were talking, I was like, there's no way the AI has gotten to this level of conversation.

It's just not possible. It's like, no, it was a guy. I got Rook, too. I saw the video. I was like, all right. They're walking around. I have a show idea for you. Yeah.

You can have it. You have a bunch of cats, right? Yes. OK. Do a show called Eating you. Yeah, you can have it you have you have a bunch of cats, right? Yes Okay, do a show called eating cereal with my pussy and then just be eating cereal with your The kind of good stuff you're gonna get from America's premiere a Germany's premiere novelist Ryan Some of them, some of them wrote different books. Some of them were autobiographical. I'm going to eat Schopenhauer, Nietzsche. Yeah, there's some good guys. Is that like a German pun? The bathroom bandit for two says Alexa play behind the mask by Eric Clapton. Daniel

Gore for 49.99 says Vito's booty. Thank God. I think that's gonna happen. I got a pig, can you read a couple of these? Oh wow, Mike Hunt for two, both Superman and Joker have been raped canonically. Kyle Baxter for five, four Nathans hot, don't knock my camera.

Four Nathans hot dogs, shredded cheese, sour cream and sriracha, frowny face. FRA 242 for 10, was tracking my copy of Superkiller that I ordered in 95. It said it was near Florida. How about that? Did you guys order Superkiller? I did, yeah. You did? Yeah, I did. Are you excited to pay for shipping?

You know, what Vito does is Vito's, it's his decision, dude. When do you think it's coming out? I don't know. I actually, you know what's funny? Yeah. Is that I'm really good friends with his colorist and his wife. And I'm in a discord with those guys. He really has a colorist? Yeah.

Okay. They're there and they're doing the work. Okay. So it exists? They're also top, like top fucking notch though. Like they're like some of the most talented people. So he's not lying of coloring of coloring but also Oh art though like they're Their apps they're incredible comic artists shit. Oh, yeah, I don't want to name drop cuz I don't think they like they don't you know

I'm pumped. I want to see it. I got the hentai cover. I'm waiting for the black and white, dude. Yeah, I'm pumped. My dick is raw. And that's what I'm worried about. Dude, keep the pressure on, dog. He needs you. I don't think it's working. I don't think the pressure works.

Pineapple Man for 5. Was listening to Baggishmith's music today and I chomped down on a gorilla biscuit. Next thing I knew I go ooh ooh ah ah. The drums, I don't even know what that means. Human Dynamo for two, who are these idiots? Me and Vito he's talking about. Psychonaut for 89 for five, what do Arab men and tires on women's cars have in common? Hubbubbubbubbubbubbubbub I am the cum king and you were all my very loyal and very gay subjects Justin

Brodick for two unnecessary guests are the biggest problem. Oh, that's about you guys Scar but he only paid two because you know two buck Chuck. Fuck you one means nothing Pony up fool. He meant that he would've paid 50 bucks. Scar for five, so let me get this straight. You're 20 minutes late because Vito's extra large gay friend and his druggy twink? That's not a complete sentence scar. This guy was arrested for beating his girlfriend.

He went to school with Vito, actually. You don't need to listen. No, I'm telling you, that's true. I know him. Okay. Can I read the next one as Vito? Yeah. Okay!

Ah, yeah! It's okay, next one. You gotta read though. Imagine seeing... I can't do it. Vito in shades and... You got it? No. That was great

Okay Vito and shades Modest yes for two more on the bathroom door, you know your seat is very warm. I've kept it cooking Chocolate noodle for five imagine being excited for Joker 2 But instead of getting freedom fighter Joker with Batman is the bad guy Chuck sticks in my ass and shoots him. Santa Quinn self for two Vito you are sunshine May you light our day. Strategery for two you have to say nobody wants that Tesso for five! I have two number nines and number nine large and number six with an unreleased comic book and number seven

And now I can't see the screen well cuz you knocked the camera which I fucking told you explicitly not to do But you still did it. What do you mean it knocked it? Okay? There you go, how's that? Yeah, come on To number 45s more cheese and a large soda. I didn't do the big smoke voice. Unpleasant for five Australian more like biggest queers in the universe. Zeta-quinxel for two is the skinny twink on HRT yet.

He's talking about me. Gut for two, I can't wait to hear next week's proms. Sudluge RZ for five, what are your all thoughts on Elliot Rodger? Didn't we do that question last week? Straturgery for two. We did? Yeah, somebody was like't we do that question last week strategy for two we did Yeah, somebody was like what do you think about Elliott Roger, and I said mum key Jones Okay, no more honking We have their birthdays get to hacking damage you for two unburdened by what has been oink oh now

Now you think there's too much oinking. Now you finally understand the noise in the mind and kind of boring. And when he's just over and over and you can't okay. Anyway, is that a quick sell for five? Ain't no party like a veto party. And today's guests are all about role play the twink and the bear. You guys ever been called that like smokey in the band? Yeah. Twink in the bear. My wife's not going to like this. That was the original. That was the original title of the movie. So I was in darkness for 20 would the twink. Oh, you got to admire bucks. Hopefully it costs a little more than that gut for five. I'm going to be the piss. It only costs 10

bucks. Wasn't it? It was 20. It was 20. Well, God almost got me, but then Dick interrupted me giving me time to avoid this TBF. Sorry. Gut Zavilli for five. Vito looks as if the lead singer of corn only ate corn out of a trough. Yeah, that's a good one. Jew H for 20 Canadian. Your shoulder pain too. Just broke five ribs, collapsed my left lung and buggered all up in my left shoulder tendons. Yeah. I was supposed to race in Turkey. Oh no. He's at a cock race. You guys got to get off those bikes. Milo Stinkopolis for two pounds frees Palestine PS stop the genocide. Okay Did Jordy Kranovic for 250 euros Vito stop at Vito asking if you have kids is creepy

Well, no, cuz I know he does have a kid. I'm not asking that I didn't ask I said you got that kid now and you can't be riding a motorcycle around you're gonna get in trouble Oh, yeah, that thanker for two who sell you tossing tonight dick the bearer of the twink. Oh That is these are terms of why choose. Yeah, rusty Shackleford for two. You're voting for Trump you giant feg Hat a diamond G for five you remember to honor your guests next week. No dogging I have no idea what that means lemon trashy for five pounds I thought that guy on the right was Milo. I almost sent a super chat about nitrous Milo's like his head Milo's head is swollen like Barry Bonds like he's on gate

He's not some kind of gay Steroids, I thought you know what maybe prep makes your head grow I love Milo. I have to say I love Milo. I don't want no getting the wrong idea Does Milo not still have the bleach blonde hair? Yeah Milo miles get that fucking white hair. Well, you can change your hair very easy. Yeah, but he doesn't cuz that's his look Straturgy for five apparently veto after Domino's and out of pizza business means no shades veto But if you know in the pizza business means shades veto such contrast shit Let us for two Jared Leto needs to speak up

Odysseus for five the vice president is a heartbeat away from being the token most powerful person in the world veto Be fair that doesn't count cool for five I will not thank localizers for not killing themselves if you can't read subs. You're just a dumb dumb Dean shock for five Thanks had a file Dean shock five is next for the last boys quick show lore Vito wants crave sleep enough to pleasure his cat with a q-tip Vito really hates to sleep alone King n64 for five Vito have you used Fentimine for weight loss? It's cheap and even gives you energy happy on October I have not heard of Fentermine. Have you heard of Fentermine? No

Yeah, I was gonna say and Fetamine does that we mean jihad oba for five dick Sorry, if you answer this already no respect to either of you But what did 80s girls see in Maddox to begin with? I don't know. How did they start? He's funny He's a funny guy, right? That's how they get in there. I don't sure. Yeah I don't know like did Maddox date any other girls when you guys were doing the show Yeah, he was married to a girl when I met him. Oh really? I didn't know. Yeah, it was a secret I'm not I mean now now I think all the secrets are off. Yeah, it's Chinese girl Dean shock for to get Patrick Melton for the pitch show review

Maybe I like Patrick Melton. Yeah, sure Josh. We could get Josh Denny in here for the don show review. Oh, maybe. I like Patrick Melton. Or Josh. We could get Josh Dunnian here for the. Don't mention them in the sand. Those guys are feuding. Well, we're never getting them on at the same time. But I mean, realistically. Josh would be a lot easier to get on here.

And like more fun, because he'd be in studio. Yeah, you know. We've got to get in studio. And he's had like network experience. That's why his perspective would be interesting. He did have a network television. Well, yeah, a big one. Food network. That'd be good. I was talking to Josh about doing some sort of food show, but I guess my thing was I was like, well, what's the show? You know, because I'm like, people don't

just want to watch like two fat guys eat. I mean, yes, obviously they do want that, but they want it on a different level, you know? Does Dick know about like your punch drunk love level of like finding coupon crack codes? Oh, like you mean like my obsession with like finding discounts on the? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm pretty good at this. I don't know.

That wasn't the question. This dude is like snack pack level. You know my group on I get Yeah, dude, and also he'll hit he what I don't I don't can I talk? Yeah, go nuts. All right. Honestly, you're refreshing my memory this dudes like I know all the deals like right What wherever the wherever the the fast food shit is or whatever where it's like I go to KFC and I get like their One dollar thing over here and then I go to Taco Bell and I get their other dollar thing over here And then I go to like Burger King. Yeah that yeah, and by the time I've got a banquet of all this Most of all the most all the hacks have been a sona. Okay at this point. He was I mean it was impressive

it used to be it used to be you could go to like McDonald's you'd be like Let me get like a say let me get a McDouble and they'd be like, okay, but hold on. I want an extra middle bun and I want shredded lettuce and I want a big Mac sauce. Yeah. I go, she want a big Mac. And I go, you didn't hear me. I want a double cheeseburger with a middle bun and shredded lettuce and big Mac special sauce. What was the point of that? Yeah. Shredded lettuce and Big Mac special sauce. What was the point of that? Yeah, and then they'd be like, all right He's the Oppenheimer of fast food. So you finding the fastest way to fucking get the You used to be able to do all that but then these fucking fucking kids got on tick tock and they go, did you know that when you, and then today I saw you saw they

were fucking ripping on a now, you know, you used to do the classic thing. You go, ah, let me just get a cup of water. Right. And then you go over the soda fountain, get a Sprite, right? Cause it looks like water. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Now first, first McDonald's has gotten rid of the soda fountains. I don't have the fountains anymore in the place of the do of the fountains now They print a sticker on your cup. So you have to scan a QR code on the cup Wow, the soda fountain will only dispense the waters. Yeah They've locked up the fountains and I saw this lady going Oh, well, this is because of all the water cup Americans and I went I know you were trying to be racist

But I'm a water cup American too. I stand with the water cup Americans. Well Yeah, okay. So the soda, okay when sodas were a dollar you're like sure it's a dollar I'm paying for a nickel worth of soda water. You're making 95% profit now a soda is like four bucks Mmm. Yeah, I mean that's their reasoning too. Like who's reasoning the water cup America? I'm a water cup American I have the same thing a soda should be a buck. Yeah, Italian people weren't always white I went through a drive-through recently and I was in the drive-through Yeah, I told the guy I almost brought this in as my problem I was like, let me get a coke and I was listening to music on my speakerphone

Oh, yeah, exactly. And there's a big line behind me. Yeah, I'm crazy order. Yeah, I get up there and I go, oh shit, you know, I really want to lemonade. And so the guy like goes, I'm like, I wonder if I can get this guy before. And I'm like, Hey, man, can I, instead of a Coke, can I, can I actually get the lemonade? And he goes, I already poured this thing, man. I'm like, yeah, but it's like a nickel worth of soda water. Just pour it out and fill it back up with lemonade. It kind of looked at me like all upset. And I'm like, what do you fucking care? It's just fucking soda water. Yeah, he didn't want to dump it out and refill it Yeah, I think he was like judging you he did that cuz you're getting a different kind of soda

It's you're like a if you're a skinny guy would have been like, yeah, okay Yeah, but he's looking at you like you fucking you're like your soda sludge fucking special soda, just for you. I just didn't know they had lemonade, that's what I wanted. Chatergery for five, imagine Vietz hits you with a sick anecdote, but when you challenge it, he chucks confident dicks in my ass. No one wants that. Scarf for two, felony in the third degree, not a capital sentence.

Oh yeah, killing it, dog. Ditch mail in aficionado for five. Cheap sweatpants are the biggest problem in the strip club. I need my strip club sweatpants complete with secret Coke pocket and charcoal fart filter. I did find a way to make sweatpants, like custom sweatpants. What do you mean make custom sweatpants?

Well, like you can print, you can get like print on demand sweatpants. Oh yeah. I just wanna put strip club sweatpants on them. Oh nice. You have your erection touched by you I want to do it, but I want four ice-omb characters arranged in a grid I don't like that. Can I do that? Like a mural, like a shitty Mexican van mural. Oklovich for two Vito you need to watch leave the world behind

I have no idea what that is I come buckets for five Vito gets half ownership to show better not become the biggest group of vetoes retarded nothing I love these guys yeah Cat girl free so what he does that no position to talk this is a fucking pizza King of Oakland Yeah, it's a Star Medium for five. Hey Vito, I know you want to go hog wild in honor of the holiday season, but freak-offs with kids is a bit much. Dial of festivities back a notch.

Pigeon for ten. In high school, the Tard King almost killed the lunch lady, throwing absolute heat in the form of a gorilla-proof iPad. He said king instead of kid. Oh, the Tard King of kid. Tard king. Oh shit. No, keep it tard king. Tard king is exactly right. Every school has exactly right. Because there's a bunch of tards but there's a tard king. They gave the tard a gorilla proof iPad. It must have been locked up like a motherfucker. Oh god! Almost killed the lunch lady.

JJ for two, we want Gabriel, bring on Gabriel. Sarah Garnier for four. He died in 9-11 according to the deep lore. Vito, they didn't make, you helped that kid because you were the Tardo all along. I was worried, I was- You were the Tard King though. Did I ever tell that story that I thought I was worried I was retarded? When? I tell that story that I thought I was worried I was retarded because in a room in my house I found all these books that were like

what to do if your kids retarded What? What? Papa just while he was sweating he said my kids retarded AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SH Like Sam Beckett. And then I had quite a leaf, dude. He's like, I'm retarded. It was like, before I really understood what my mom's job is and then eventually I realized, oh, my mom. Maybe she got into that because it was her hobby. Yeah, I guess. Maybe she's like, I'm good at this. I already got a retarded kid.

I might as well. Let's see. Peter R for five. Null just had Sven Stoffel on Mad at the Internet today. You should have heard the disappointment in his voice when Sven said he hated ISOM. Wait, I thought Null just had Steven Sven Stoffel on mad at the internet today You should have heard the disappointment his voice when Sven said he hated ice on wait I thought no also hates ice no no only hated too. He thought I thought one was really showed promise and like showed like a

Developing world and okay We're not fucking up a lot lately getting duped by Elisa clips is a big nose a big mind That guy's falling off in a weird way spurged out on it wait let me read this one He's spurged out on kiwi farms, too. He said all their jokes were getting boring Yeah, you believe you would say something like that well I honestly I think I think he has a far deeper complaint than I do because those fucking guys He's called a little community of morons Yeah, so I understand why he's finally getting tired of

Bigel Spur gout He's just as dumb as the rest of them. That's the problem. Everyone on kiwi farms thinks. They're the alpha retard They all think they're king tar. I did king time. They all do Kingtard. They all do. I know everybody on here is retarded, but like, I'm the king of these. Let me teach you guys something. Look at it, look, look, look, look, look. You tell me this guy's not on like TRT. This is Milo. Look. He didn't used to look like that, did he? He used to be... That prep, man, that prep's making his head big like Big Banz.

Secret of the Ooze. Secret of the Ooze. Secret of the Kamus out of his ass. Okay, here's nulls null has a new like it's not the I'm the n-word of the world thing, but that was pretty bad Global site rules if you do not care do not post you are not a moderator Do not backseat moderate if you don't like a thread, don't post in it. If you're not a moderator, do not pretend to be one. If you think a post violates the forum rules, report it or create a talk to staff thread, do not reply. So he's sick of

people replying saying they don't care. I don't care. Dumb, I don't care. Oh stop saying you don't care! Kramer! Where's the funny? I don't- if you make a post along these lines you will be banned from this board for a month! Where's the funny? I don't think this is okay! NYPA! Not your personal army.

Yeah, heckin' Kiwi Farms personal army request laid denied! Fuck off! Stop ruining my fucking- so he turned his forum reddit and now he's pissed off That it's right that it's read it. Yeah, yeah, no you you turn into a big gay loser Yeah, and you acted like a fucking Christian pastor with all your with all your sermons about Degeneracy and you have a forum where trans women pretend to be wine moths.

You made Reddit. Congratulations. You did kind of have a cool thing going, and then you decided to just piss everybody off and pick fights with everybody. Posts that aren't interesting and don't get bait replies just naturally fall to the older pages nobody reads You don't know what you're talking about You can't make choices and there are so many threads moved out of PG that have first pulse then they're just the same fucking

assholes Replying to each one saying I don't like this thread. Nobody fucking asked you doesn't this seem crazy It does seem like you've arms has devolved into about How many people are active on that forum? I see like the same 12 people arguing with each other all the time and it's just read it. Yeah, it's like turbo read it It's just a really sad reddit board full of losers and more Reaches of Idaho they could have been had a listen should have listened to me No, I told you that internet famous board would fuck up your side, and it did You should have listened to me, Null. I told you that internet famous board would fuck up your side and it did.

Rhinoxis for two Canadian. Biggest problem is guest reading chat. Yeah, way to go, moron. Peter R for ten. Avner is the Ash Sven. Give me your opinion on these people. Ralph, Dick, Vito. And again, more sad Null as Sven said he liked both Dick and Ralph. Oh, but he did shit on Vito, so that was fun. Okay, well, I don't know why Sven's mad at me. Because Null is too much of a bitch to fight anything He's not funny. Yeah, so he can't make fun of anybody. He just plays clips and goes like isn't that peculiar? Isn't that crazy? So he's trying to get Sven to do it and Sven wouldn't do it Mr. Poop snarkle to a whole lot of crosswords in that room nice. I wish. The ability for five the skilled system I was in was run by Tards. They took one look at my name, mislabeled me as Hispanic, and never fixed it.

Odysseus for five. Being tiny-faced and overly aggressive during an interview is perhaps the biggest problem. Shud, Brobson. Was I overly aggressive? Absolutely not. I think you were good. Shud for two. What sound does the veto make? Wee wee wee. Adventure time for for five both of these clowns are making shut up Is that a quick sell for two? Ricky couldn't save Gabriel that 9-eleven. No, it's trash. It makes me strong second. I'm just glad my best friend Vito Had fun at Comic-Con. Jiamond G for two says sorry guests. Sometimes the fans are tardied. I agree Dean shock for two Fans are tardied, I agree. Dean Shock for two.

It's worse that they're cheap. The people saying shitty stuff. It's worse that it's like five bucks. Put your money where your mouth is. Yeah, really show it dude. If I hate somebody, I'll spend a thousand bucks to hate them. I don't fucking care. Diamond G for two forty seven says

Read my twenty four super chat of just oinks. Sure. Dean Shock for two. Wait, is this the hog father of oinktober? Is that you the hog father? Spotted turtle for two. Stop the 24 seven oink when you're live oinking. Yeah, but then it won't be. That 24 seven stream sucks.

Can you make it another channel? Is that, maybe, yeah, we could do that. But then literally no one will watch it. Yeah, cause people only watch it if you shove it down their throats. Okay, so I can just take it down. I don't know, I just put it up because I thought it would be interesting. I don't know. We have to see if it's bad for the metrics at all.

If it's actually bad for the viewership or something. Well, how many people are watching now? Probably like two. No, this show. Uh, as long as we're above like like what do you think we're above hopefully like 1250 is like our average 1250 damn 800 ah it's bad man sorry guys No, but that's but that's look it that's see you messed up you messed up the fucking metrics with the live 24 So it says we've been zero since oh wait hold on then where are we now see you fucked up the fucking channel metrics with

The live with a stupid ad grabbing 24 7 stream, but it wasn't like this on the last one and the 24 7 stream was going during that yeah That's cuz now people are used to seeing the goddamn channel pop up is live They're like I'm just like I'm unsubscribing or I'm desensitized so I'll take it down 800 viewers that's nothing I Don't fucking know Well, I can't fucking believe it. Why is everybody else doing 800? I cannot fucking believe it diamond G for two

Boink boink ones the boink do okay Justin Brodyk for five if Vito was throwing up all the time while I was zympic you really should have been losing weight bulimia better well you just take it down then dude I don't know how YouTube works I can't fucking believe it you didn't know that that was gonna happen yes I did I was like I hate this I hate everything about it that you said you like I don't know I did not right away. I said I hate this Bro, I don't wait. I don't like saying you like it. Oh Okay, let's see what I gotta check

You gotta check what when you told me that you were doing it. Okay, but then no you said you watched it 900 I can't fucking believe it dick. Well, that's just that's like Devastates like audience cut and To 60% well, we can look at the there's other things that is fucking devastating It's not devastating for what $20 in ad revenue. It's not for ad. It's not devastating. For what? $20 in ad revenue? It's not for ad- it's not just for ad revenue, it's because it's like a fun thing, like a fun hangout. It's so much fun. I thought it might boost the numbers. I thought it might help people find the channel. I don't fucking know.

Ugh. Then why are other people doing it? Who? Oh, Patrick Melton's doing it. Do you have any good examples? He's got a popular show! How viewers a lot how many I think he gets like 1200 people watching How often does he stream? I don't fucking know man. I just tried a thing out. We can always shut it off. It's too late It's gone that number 800 viewers. Oh my god. This is like I'm like going back in time

Listen it's not the twink in the druggy, but to the lot Yeah, yeah the live viewers on this episode didn't it never cleared a thousand. That's brutal Well we can I'm gonna kill myself you don't have to kill yourself. I don't think it's that big a deal. Oh, okay? The problem is that YouTube... Shut up. Why YouTube... It's like 400 of my friends dying. I feel like it's World War II. Here's the thing about YouTube.

Yeah but what year did it happen though? YouTube is not trans... YouTube is not transparent about the algorithm at all. So like there's some stuff... Yeah but people don't want this shoved into their fucking feed. Like suddenly. You think that's like 600 million views on YouTube? YouTube is not transparent about the algorithm at all so like there's some stuff Yeah, but people don't want this shoved into their fucking feed like suddenly You think that's what's like 600 people what decided to stop watching their favorite podcast cuz they got like I don't know Now they're not reminded of something

Speculation you don't know why oh speculation speculation my nuts There's way less viewers and people way less and they've said oh the reason I didn't watch is cuz it's live what changed Between last two weeks and now what changed only that right so it might be the algorithm is like down like not Pushing it the same way it was I don't know so it might be anything else, but something that people hate okay Something that only like 30 people watch worse. Where's our? Go to go to our last show. Ugh. Ugh.

Dick, you put that hat on and... There's nothing. Anything goes once the hat's on. Alright, I've been... I've been mute-need. I mean, I can just turn off the 24-7 stream. I don't know YouTube's algorithm, okay? They always change how it works. I mean, what's the algorithm though what do you mean well what do you sweat

what what happened it could have boosted it but it also we're getting more we would have gotten like only 200 I'm saying we've not been the live testing it and then we can turn it off if it doesn't work huh well what's a what's not working to you cutting the viewers into? If we had 30 viewers is that not working I? Don't know how to react to this bit. I am a bit look I know I agree that for some reason there's less like cratered. It's like dog fucking cratering failure That's that fucking live that 24-hour live stream thing the 24-hour live stream is cool

But if YouTube for some reason their algorithm like down Doesn't boost your episodes as much. I don't know well. What if people are never even gonna see if it's live now Well, I don't know if people got notifications. It's look. This is all like technical at this point, so it's not really technical Technical technical is like a cut in half, but it might have really interesting to discuss on the air. It's technical! It's fine. Technical is like a cut in half! But it might have sent, it might be because we're live and then we started another live stream it might not have sent notifications out or something.

Yeah. That's a possibility. So that would be bad. That would be very bad. If that's what happened. And the positive is making $30 in Burger King ads. The positive is that it's a cool thing to have a 24-7 stream and play the old episodes live. Have it on, like, Biggest Problem Live.

Sure, we can make a separate thing for it. I'm not gonna do that. Okay. Not we, though. I'm not gonna do that. You seem to be, like, putting it in a way that, like, I'm, like... You did it. You did... You made the decision to do this. You gave me the okay, and we tried to think. No, I didn't. I said, okay. Yeah, I mean you did it

It's not a but now it's it's totally it's totally fucking your show is the show's over But it's totally no you made a decision to do something and it has had major negative effects, right? Yeah, sure What do you mean? Yeah, sure. I mean, it's just YouTube man. I can't fucking guess what we were doing great If it was just doing the same thing we'd still be at 1,500. We'd probably be at like 1,700. Yeah, but what if I did this and like it ended up being really positive You know? Then you'd get credit. Okay, so you gotta try stuff sometimes. Mom and Dad, can you guys stop fighting? We had to try a thing. No, you don't have to. No you don't. Hi Mom and Dad. Please. Alright, well. I have school tomorrow. Please. DiamondG for two, boink.

When's the boink? Justin Brodick for five. Vito was throwing up all the time. Yeah, we did that. Dignity and Post is Vito dream of electric pigs. OK. Rhinoxis for two. Vito sell little pigs on whatnot.

Yeah. Litical yourself for two is that V from Devil May Cry. That's a good one. UtahBaser meeting for five. Can't wait to see Eric July get hit with a diss track from bust the limes Base return for two good split this two ways not for derpify for five Australian Please list all the ingredients on that pizza. What sauce just blue cheese or matzah early on. Oh, yeah We have a normal base. We have a normal Listen, I know the Canadian tuxedo the can't uh, yeah, Canadian tuxedo is blue on blue or matzah early on oh yeah we have a normal base we have a normal listen I

know the Canadian tuxedo the can tell you a Canadian tuxedo is blue on blue so it's blue cheese blueberries and bacon that's it on a normal pizza mozzarella cheese marinara sauce yeah to shout out to my best friend Cardinal Cardinal chud bronze for five Canadian Elvira mistress of the dark was great her and her huge milk filled tanks were the best they were the best I come bucks for five the cat girl bit was good enough to be Carl's cringe of the week I regret nothing PS the chubby guest was great. Can he replace Vito? Are you gonna run? Chubby on the job five Canadian kind I knew the second I saw these bizarre Blues Brothers that we'd all love them

I love these good. I was trying to think of a Blues Brothers joke for you guys. Hell yeah Take I'll take it hot topic Blues Brothers. That's what we'll call you Plumbo for five Despite all my rage, I'm still just a raring cage. Yeah. Plumbo for five Canadian, pays RIP to the piggy wall. Demands you rebuild it, which you have done. Jammin G for two with an oink. Zeta Quicksilver two, be wary of spooks tonight, people.

Coo for two, would you rather be a PDF file or 600 pounds? Pedophile. Sarah Gardner for two Australian, I like the guests, they seem cool. Zeta Quicksilver two, PDF army. Pedophile Sarah Gardner for two Australian. I like the guests. They seem cool PDF army go for two nulls like tard you can run a website kind of Diamond G for two when super killer do though soon is that a quick sell for two veto teach know how to be a good Pig all right are we ready? What's the game where we smash all the toys? VEETO'S BOOTY!

About man or tweets about the boys? VEETO'S BOOTY! What's in the box? You know you want it. VEETO'S BOOTY! So get on the scaler, I smash it to shit. VEETO'S BOOTY! VEETO'S BOOTY!

VEETO'S BOOTY! VEETO'S BOOTY! VEETO'S BOOTY! VEETO'S BOOTY! VEETO'S BOOTY! VEETO'S BOOTY! VEETO'S BOOTY! VEETO'S BOOTY! Vito's booty, Vito's booty, Vito's booty, Vito's booty! What's it gonna be? What's it gonna be? Smash, smash the toy. Okay, well it's the Koran. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no We're surrounded by pigs. What the fuck are you doing? Insha'Allah. Yes, dude. Don't be impressed.

This is amazing, dude. Let's read a verse first. I don't want to fought wood. This is him doing it. Muslim who is upset right now. It's his fault. Oh, relax. He can't even hurt it. I mean the fundamentalist relax. Fucking chill. Take a chill pill.

Jesus Christ. Burn it. Okay. Well, as dick tries to rip up the crayon You must rip harder this is not stop Why do you have to rip it all at once also you're making this Fucking power guys that God gives him the power to rip through shit? Dude, no I haven't seen that. You fucking bastard. Dude, I don't even know how to do this.

Please stop. Please. Have you made progress? Clearly Muhammad is trying to stop you from doing this. Nah, it's the thickness of the pages dog. He's not gonna rip through the whole thing. He's got it. Muhammad is saying no.

No! No! No! Rip it off! Stop! Stop! Stop! No TV show Oh dude hell yeah You could have stopped it all I apologize all the Muslims in our show. And I know you guys deal with hate on a regular basis. Alright, I know that after the events of 9-11 there's unreasonable discrimination.

For everybody at home, this is amazing to watch, actually. Because this is not a paid professional isn't that some dude in the circus You have to stop you actually do Yes, when you pitch me this bit ripping up the holy book of the Muslim people was not it's just a book He got a Barnes and Nobles relax It's actually a fake Quran. It's a Bible with a cover on it like 60% dude, it's an ola 60%

Yes like crazy like train to do this shit I love it. It's halfway through it, bro Tight I was gonna be oh my god. Oh my god Dude biggest strongest river of the crime dude in the fucking Christian Bible. It's clearly a Bible. Yes. Oh, yeah, you've done it Yeah a Bible is oh yeah you've done it yeah clap I'm not gonna clap he's almost there oh my god I couldn't do it Wow Wow that was well was that her arm that was her That was Haram? Was that Haram? Haram! Not Halal Dude! Wow! Good work buddy!

You did it! That had nothing to do with me! The stuff that gets smashed is entirely on the pirate! You did that with your choices! Dude! Yo! Somebody contact the Guinness book! Yeah your hands got to be in pain I gotta be the only person that ever ripped a Korean holy yeah I think

there's a reason why they don't that was sick well guys what a great else do you want holy lord a pirate just ripped to the holy book of the muslim people in half. My delts. Hell yeah, dude. They're killing me. Have you done that before? No. dog I saw those guys in those Christian guys went to my school as a kid and did it and I figured well they could do it. They ripped a whole Quran in half? Yeah, they ripped a phone book. A holy book. Oh with the power of Christ. Yeah. Phone book paper though. When I wake up, mania runs wild. Right. I think anyone wants their Patreon thing put up on this. Well,

thank you everybody for coming by Brian. David for 10 says funniest bit in the show's history. Is that a quick sell for two? Absolute cinema. What a great show. One more time. I want to thank Coffin McEwen from Hestia's pizza in Oakland, California. I want to thank Ryan star sailor. You guys, your audience rules this shit rips. I just watched a dude rip a Quran in half. That was a Bible. Hell yeah. Listen to Night Hammer available on band camp. Dude. Wow. What a show. And only 900 people saw it because of my that's going to go. That's terrible. That's that's so sick. Free Palestine, free Palestine, baby. Free Palestine. Oh my God. Take care of yourself. Dick's going to die. No, he's good. We gotta get the ice for his hands though damn

Well, nice