The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 163

Episode Date: November 9, 2024

Say that. Yeah, exactly. You gotta be like Trump and just do it. That's what it is about. And I will write down, I will give the specifications. Got to celebrate America. Five minutes long, then 30, at least a minute of... Talk about why you voted.

That's what has to be in the song. That's what needs to be in the song. What's important to you. What's important to you as a voter. And direct people to the site. That's all it's gotta be the site I really should make sure I'm pretty sure that payment cleared I never actually checked they said they sent it you know if you don't if it didn't clear I'll just tell my buddy yeah my buddies okay in the government to go track them down and deport them save it for the except for straight raid

tell her to come send her right over here She's gonna belong to you in the new regime not belong that sounds too much like marriage. Mmm. Okay? That's trying to make it sound like slavery, but that's how they get you That's how women have got you as for a millennial they get like oh, I'm gonna be your sex slave like forever forever I said hold up. What was that forever part? It really is there really is just a generation of men who are like completely fucked no really let's see what are we doing here is this working do I test one one two it looks like it looks like yeah you let's see you let's see there. There is there's that working

I don't know we got a switch real switch real fast to it, and then go go back. Okay. Well now it resets the time Why don't we just start the show already late anyway already late, yeah, let's just start the show I let it tick down let him wait from five minutes again. I'm gonna speed it up. How I don't know How can you do it? I don't know not even playing now. You've completely fucked it watch this 250 300 speed That's 25 well I pushed zero Okay, it only goes up to 200. I'm doing smart ass. All right there there we go. Oh no, it started over again. Is it actually?

That's not double speed. Yeah, it is. Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop is that how it feels to be you? What does that mean? In Trump's America I mean. I feel like I'm moving too fast. No like uh time is gonna crush you. Like time is... Why did you think I was gonna get there from what was...

So you play a video at 2x speed and you go is that what it feels like to be in Trump's America? And you expected me to get to the idea that time is a crushing, pounding weight from that. Yeah, you should know. I should just know that. Well, you're gonna. That is the most moronic. Is that what it feels like? You know what's moronic? Buying a big ol' sphere with your big dumb head on it to show the working man that you support them.

That's pretty dumb. That was a waste of money. What is she, 20 million dollars in the hole? You know what? What? We contributed to that hole. We uh, yeah, well we're part of the hole. That's why they wanted the money back. Save it for the show. We get that money back? I'm recording this. This is all the show. I know, but we'll go for it again. Don't worry. Don't worry about it. Don't reset the lead in again. I'm gonna reset it again. What do you got there?

What is all of what is this nightmare Yes, yes, that is how you now you're getting it. It's a nightmare now. You're getting it. I'm very excited I don't know I don't Very excited It's been a quite a week. Oh, yeah I don't know, I don't... I'm very excited. It's been quite a week. Oh yeah. What was your favorite part of the week?

What was my favorite part of the week? I don't know, man. Everybody thinks... We'll get into it when we're whatever live. Why does everybody think I'm like this bleeding heart that goes, I can't believe Hitler won. You know? That's not my... You're still on it! I'm not this bleeding heart that goes I can't believe Hitler won That guy is still on it. You're still on it. We're gonna see We're gonna have a lot of fun. I think well no we're gonna have fun

Who's we? Me and the Gestapo yeah me and the red-hatted Gestapo Me and the Gestapo. Me and the red-hatted Gestapo. Coming to stomp on rights. Me and the boys. Me and the proud boys. They're like the Beagle Boys. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, yeah, yeah, we're busting out of here, and they all like yeah, yeah I'm surprised you remember the names of the Beagle boys be bop big-time burger Come on. I remember the Beagle boys. I only remember them being the Beagle boys. I do not remember their names That's why you guys lost the Latino vote wait who lost you you?

I almost said the n-word Lost Latino vote with all your twerking, fat ass twerking that you're doing. Beyonce bullshit. I'm confused. Cause I feel like... Our side won. HAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHA! We won!

AHAHAHAHAHA! And it's just a great day for America. HAHAHAHAHAHA! So, we're... And it's just a great day for America. So our side did it, like our guys got there. Our boy Trump nailed it. One of your relatives was the first one to spit on Mussolini's corpse. Yeah. Oh man, you narrowly- I can't believe our guy did it. I can't believe he went all the way and it's just oh

Maga from here on out, baby My guy at 2028 I got 20 ma ma go for a ma ha as well ma ha making America I know that making America healthy is a big deal. Yes. Oh, okay Wait, did you get what is this? Who sent these in. Okay. I've been imprisoning liberals in them all week. Oh, okay I've been luring them in. So these are to use on our enemies and trap her in a jam? I hide him in my hand like this. I would use him like pokeballs. I go, oh. You jab him.

Oh, we almost did it and I shake their hand like that and then they go. Ah! Ah! So I got her in there. So you got one lady, okay. I got her in there. Yeah, I got a Mexican family in here.

A whole Mexican family. I jumped out in front of their car. Wow. I went, wah, I held my hand out. They got absorbed. You absorbed, did you get absorbed the car as well? Wow, I held my hand out when they got absorbed you absorb The did you get absorbed the car as well. Yeah, I was an Astro man. Yeah. Yeah, that's that's Take that with you Mexicans. I'm gonna throw that across the border

This one is that one still empty though is that one prepared was for you that one was for well Why me though that doesn't make any sense cuz there's clearly for those are liberal containment devices to strong That doesn't make any sense because clearly for those are liberal containment devices two strong Conservative MAGA loving men What would I have part about MAGA? I just love the idea that America which was once great again Will be great, that's what I've always said and I've always believed it and I'm there Specifically what's gonna be what's keeping it from becoming great though? Specifically

Name one, you know, I just I think there's a lot of ways to make this country great again starting with starting with argument Donald Trump. Project 2020, what is it called? Project 2025, I'm all there for it. You know, anything our guy wants to do. Our guys. Our guys, yeah. And Christ is?

King, of course. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Long may he reign. This is a crazy, what does it say on the dollar bill dick? It doesn't say in a in Transfucking sports we trust no. It says no refunds in Yiddish. It says no refunds in Yiddish Yeah, you gotta get your microscope out. That is the most conservative value I have is that no refunds You believe 80% of Jews didn't voted it for Kamala? Wait, really? I did not see that. Yeah, 80% of Indian Native Americans voted for Trump 80% of Jews it for Kamala wait really I did yeah Oh, yeah, 80% of indian native americans voted for trump 80% of jews voted for Kamala

I think Trump's gonna like that I'm sure look Trump is the great I don't know where he's gonna be taking it though. Jerry Lewis style. Ha ha ha ha. Look, all I'm saying is I think that he's a great unifier. What's your favorite part about JD Vance? What's your favorite joke that he's told? He's just a really relatable guy.

He always talks about his family. And would you like to have a beer with him? Well, yeah. I mean, I don't know if I'd trust him to pour the fucking thing, but... Why's that? Now why's that? He's a bit of a... he's a bit of a goofy guy. Because he might spill it. He might spill it.

Uh-huh. You weren't saying any sort of date rape comment, were you? No, no, no, no. I just meant he's like, you know, kind of a... Because that's woke. As you know. Oh, and woke is out of the question. We're outlawing the woke. Right, right, right. That's going question. We're outlawing the world. Right, right. That's going away. That's going away in our America. Uh-huh.

OK. All right. And I've been here since day one, as we all remember. I've always been here, and I will always be here, along with all of you America lovers out there. God bless America is all I can say. It's great that we can, and Trump. And God bless Trump.

Yeah. Don't forget that part. He's a great guy. I love that guy. Yeah. Yeah. God bless him. God bless that family, that wife of his.

That big weird kid of his. Uh-uh, no, no, no, no, no. Hey, being weird is a virtue. Not for us. Uh-uh. No, no, no, no, no. He's been in the churches and stuff. Not. Hey, being weird is a virtue. Not for us. Not for us. No, you're on the wrong. We're making that illegal. That's number one.

Right. I mean, I know that, of course. Weird sucks again. I'm there with you. I've always been there. OK, can you hear them screaming inside their crystals? You know, there's a faint humming. You know, the more of them you get together,

the louder the white noise kinda, yeah. I can definitely hear it. I'm just so happy for America. It's just a great day. Me too, I agree. Yeah. I'm so glad to be a part of this journey with me and the rest of my America-loving brothers. If I could rank every happiness of days of my life,

it would be Tuesday, you be Tuesday was the most happiest. Sure. And then the new most happiest was Wednesday after that. Right. And then the new most happiest was Thursday. I totally agree. I feel the positive energy in this country. What do you hope Trump does first?

So many things. Yeah. You know, he's made so many great promises and I look forward to him making all of them come true. Like? Like, you know, making America great would be one. Who do you want to get revenge against first? You know, there's, maybe this doesn't have to turn into a revenge thing. Oh, you're one of those DeSantis guys. Maybe it's a time for unity perhaps. Maybe if there's people in the past who have had liberal beliefs or, you know, said liberal things, we could just let all that slide and, you know, just embrace the fact that America's

moving forward into a new, you you know period of prosperity and growth You're in a world of pain who is you why me? Man if only destiny had got his j6 Documentary well yeah destiny did did fail to get out his January 6 documentary Okay Probably should not have started it a week before the election Kind of a just really had to know that there was an insurrection So they didn't vote for the guy that vowed to dismantle and destroy the federal government. Yeah

You wanna do the show? Yeah, I've loved this show. This is a show that loves America and loves the audience He loves America And I the audience who loves America. And I'm so excited for it. Biggest problem in the universe! Welcome to the Biggest Problem in the Universe! The only show that ranks blankets soaked in head cheese to women talking like babies! That was okay! that was good. That was a good one.

Zach, that's a good one. Your host Dick Bash is joining me as always. Is it the America loving, make America healthy, make America great? The ultra patriot, Vito Giswoldi. The ultra patriot, is that your name? Who has always loved America more than anything else. Real quick, can you make sure that the audio's going out?

Is it? Is the audio going out? We did a different show without any audio. Yeah, yeah, there you go. Okay. And I'm just so happy for us. Us Patreots. Us Patreots, us Ultra-Patreots. Oh, you're gonna get a lot happier, buddy.

I'm excited. When the deportations start, you're gonna get a lot happier. Yeah. When the Department of Education is burning all around us. All I'm saying is, if there's anyone out there that's worried about wearing an armband just get a hat now and you're grandfathered in that's what I think. Who's wearing armbands? Well, you know. You guys are cooking up some real wild stuff over there. If you thought we were bad just saying like you guys rigged the

election and stole it, you guys are. What do you mean you guys? We're on the same team those guys How do I how do I get this through to you? I am the ultra patriot This is the unity we need this is the unity not yes forgiving you right you put on the suit Put on the hat let's hear our talking points. I love this hat. I love this suit, and I love America, and that's all that you need to know. Ahem. Ah. These colors don't run.

The abuse of abuse? One last week? And I won on that again. So I'm winning all across the board. My guy wins the presidency, I win the show. May Trump be with you. Uh, women- May Trump be with you. Women Trump be with you.

Women talking like babies. Second, bad pillows and pre-checked boxes. What the hell? Oh, coof. Man, these crystal people. Is that crystal, you gotta ointment up the crystal every now and again to realign the field. This one I took to Skid Row, you can see it's.

Oh, it's a tiny guy. Well, yeah, it's a jet black in here. Right, so there's a lot of homeless in there. Oh, you can see it's... Oh, it's a tiny guy. Well, yeah, it's a jet black in here. Right, so there's a lot of homeless in there. Oh, baby. A lot of street dwellers. Yeah, they don't get their own crystals. They got a share one. Well, maybe you should, yeah, this is good.

We should sell these. We could help everybody. We're not about helping other people. We're about helping ourselves. I think you're helping yourselves through helping and whatever. Raju of Terry says, David the gnome was great. Vito is definitely a rocket power fucktard. Keep rolling up your blanket like some fat cowboy on the trail.

Butch Casserole and the Sun Chips Kid. I didn't read all that part before I... It is a good point that cowboys would roll up their rucksacks and they never had a problem with that. Also, as I expressed on the show, I don't like Rugrats, so why would I like their retarded skateboarding offspring, Rocket Power? I don't know what that is. Also animated by Classy Scoop Co. or whatever the fuck they're called. Oh, there's a bunch of kids skateboarding. Oh Lock them up and it was woke because their dad was like, I think the kids are like half Mexican. That's okay Okay, Mexicans actually saved the country. It's true. I mean we're half white. I don't know if people know that

Yeah, Mexicans are half white. Actually what's interesting about the election is that demographic replacement Yeah. is good. Well. I mean, for winning votes for Trump. Sounds, uh, okay. Look, let's put it this way. Sounds awfully subversive.

I'm not saying you want to bring in the illegals, but the legal Latinos, they love that guy. They saved the day. Yeah, they saved the day God should have run Biden Wait why do Mexicans like Biden for some reason? Look Mexicans and black people don't get along Okay, no Because Mexicans and black people have to fight over the same government handouts

Yeah, and they make us live together and kill each other Oh, so cuz Kamala, of course, pretended to be a black woman. A lot. Yeah. Latinos went, well, she's gonna give all our money to them. She didn't bring out any like... She didn't put out an infographic saying, here's how much money I'm gonna give to Mexicans.

She did, but it wasn't as good. Oh, it wasn't as good as the black one? Uh-huh, should have been side by side. She said, we're gonna make sure your investments in taco trucks and related paraphernalia are protected. It was the same message was the problem. Are black people buying a lot of crypto?

I mean, I can't imagine what they I don't know what they think is crypto. Okay, but I just don't understand. Kamala was like, and here's the thing, black people, we're gonna protect your crypto. And I'm like, why are they buying? Who's buying crypto? Do they have a lot of crypto? Yeah, what crypto? What do you mean? I didn't know there was like a black thing, but maybe it is. Are they on Solana? I don't know. I mean, there's a lot of them there. I don't know. I'd like to see stats on that. Okay. Alex Reinhardt said, I just switched from being a blanket to a pillow, man. A lot of blanket stuff from last week.

Well, you know what? I actually got a text from a guy. Speaking of switching. Yeah. And he said, I've been dealing with this horrible, I don't know what he said, neck pain or something. He's like, for the past couple months, I think he had surgery or something. He said, I listened to the show and I said, yeah, why don't I try using a blanket as a pillow?

And then he did it. He's like, all my problems are solved. And I'm like, all right't I try using a blanket as a pillow and then he did it He's like all my problems are solved and I'm like alright. Let's go, baby. Maybe I should try that I don't know man like I'm comfortable with it Well you there's a lot of guys who if it was just you saying and I would say that's weird But there's other guys who are on board yeah, okay? And they're not like you know when somebody writes something and it's like ten lines long you're like okay That's that makes it That makes it less likely. What do you do if you're on a pillow and you go I need a little more support for my neck put another one over there. You want the pillow? Yeah, but then it just spreads back out It's not a good I told I brought in the problem of bad pillows, right?

So why not you but then I can just grab like a blanket and I can go Okay, I'll just put a little bit and then I have exactly what I want I don't it makes me uncomfortable because it makes such good sense. Yeah, well, I just never, I just- There's gotta be a problem with it, or else there wouldn't be pillows. My whole life I went, I don't understand pillows,

as I've said, the only pillows that ever make sense are those hotel pillows, but those are like, and even those, I'm like, I don't think I could sleep like this every night. Give me more pillow comments, I wanna know. Felix Vitt says, the time Alex Jeffaffe was on your call-in show, grandstanding about how no women listen to your show, only for that woman to call in, asking if his face could

beat her vagina is my favorite thing you were ever involved in. What was that? So Alex Jaffe is that guy I talked about last week on that podcast I'm not allowed on anymore, which people found fascinating. There was a lot of people going, wait, you have a Maddox and you never told us about it?

And I'm like, well, it's a little different, but yeah, kind of. So yeah, I guess I did have him on when I used to do my own show, I had him in one time. And I think he did give like a little snide comment like oh so no girls call into this show Huh, not very progressive, huh? Yeah, and then I did our call-in show and a woman called in so you know women love this show Yeah, they do you know why because we promote good-hearted American values They don't want to have rights They don't care about the abortion they don't even want to know they don't even want to pick what to have for dinner

They definitely don't want to pick anything above that. I don't know what women want other than to cry. You guys should have ran that, crying as the president. And vice president getting apologized to for crying. I like that. Yeah, that's good. That's good. Let's see a debate between Vance and

getting apologised. Again I do have to correct you though you said you guys once again I must remind you that my guy has always been and will always be Donald J Trump. That's good to hear. There we go so just reminding you of that and if there's ever any old episode where I'm doing a character, you know, my classic liberal character That was a bit I've done in the past for comedy Everyone has always known That I love America more than anything except for specifically my Lord Jesus Christ Okay, I don't know about that.

You gotta love Jesus a little more in Trump. I think that's the rule. I don't think that is. Unless you believe that Trump is Jesus in human form, in which case you can love them equally. Yeah. And I'm not ruling that out. Speaking through him, that's what the Amish think.

That's why they're showing up. Okay, Lautman says the ending was great, only the second to that time when Vito had a nervous breakdown. They're talking about you walking out What are you talking about? I was here for the entire end of the show. I watched the replay I watched it. Oh, yeah Great show Yeah, one of my liberal costumes. That's you as the huge F-swear.

Should I just dress like this all the time? This is a good look for me. You do normally, to be fair. No, but I'm saying, like, this is my normal thing that I wear. My America shirts and my MAGA hats. Ah. Conmos says, a blanket instead of the pillow is the most ridiculous Veto moment. Yeah, it's not though a blanket instead of the pillow is the most ridiculous Vito moment.

Yeah, it's not though. A lot of people do. JRad, I've done large scale billboards and I had nothing to do with the colors because the sign writers do that shit. Vito needs to let go and trust his crew to be adults. And then he put a bunch of emojis. I don't know. So he's comparing the coloring of a billboard to the coloring of a comic book.

Josh Perry. Basically the same thing. David the Gnome was great. Oh yeah, I already read that one. I saw you were watching David the gnome. How did it stack up? Bro, it hasn't aged a bit. Shut up.

It's still amazing. How many episodes did you watch? Probably six. Yeah? Yeah. Tell me what happened. The trolls were all up in their shit. The trolls stole some shit from David the gnome.

Yeah. Oh, some motherf some motherfucker stole all their gold a little fucking a little guy Some sort of an imp shape-shifting imp stole all the gnomes gold and the gnomes made a big show of saying how they don't really Give a shit about gold, but it's the disrespect Really, they don't care about the gold because they don't value those such things right But it's the disrespect of having the gold stolen they need to rect by and I didn't really that didn't track with me, but okay He stole he stole back David the gnome lovers out here. Uh, I watched the episode where he died again I just watched the scene where he died no one has fucking gay who cares You're sounding awfully liberal. Well, I didn't see him praying to Jesus before he died

So that entire show is sacrilege. Dakota is great. Some sort of Eastern European religious bullshit. Hey Dick and Vito, I've been a patron and Vito-phile for about a year now and I just want to thank you both for working together to come up with the weight loss challenge in the Vito's booty segment. When the show began, I weighed 215 pounds. 215?

Yeah, I'm 5'10". So this was over the obesity line for me. Oh, is this a girl? Now, however, many years later it has been, I weigh 175 pounds. And I'm officially a ranked competing martial artist. No, it's most, well, I don't know. So they lost basically the same amount of weight as I lost.

Hmm. Well. Ha ha ha ha! 40 pounds. Yeah, I lost 30. Week after week, each Friday, I look forward to you on Veto's Moody because I love comparing my progress to Veto's. So you're inspiring. Thank you all for the laughs.

Thankfully in Trump's America, we're all, no more fatties, I've heard. Oh, RFK, it says back to the circus. We're getting rid of the fluoride and we're getting rid of the fat. We don't need that fluoride. I mean, I probably don't, I don't go to the actually the floor I'd probably only then keep my teeth together So who knows go to the dentist? No, I don't go to the oh, okay. How do you go to the dentist? Every six months they send me a yeah, you do like a reminding uh-huh, but what do they end up doing just cleaning the things?

They give you a hand job clean your teeth. Jack you off. Why don't they give you a hand job? I don't know Clean your teeth, jack you off. Why don't they give you a hand job? I don't know. I'd go if it was like, why can't they? OK, that is a problem, is like stuff that doesn't really need a degree. Like, I'm pretty sure the Asian ladies who do nails and massages, they could take a stick

and like fucking clean my teeth while they're at it. Yeah, I would think so too. It's not that hard. What if something goes wrong, though? Your teeth start falling out. Yeah, if you have a big problem, they could go. OK, well, I'm saying so too. It's not that hard. What if something goes wrong though? Your teeth start falling out. Yeah, if you go if like you have like a big problem, they can go. Okay, well I'm saying the manicurist if your fingers are falling out they send you a doctor, but a regular cleaning or whatever You don't need anything

Uh, Vito being pissed about game preservation is hilarious. Avatar 2 XL. Game preservation is the stupidest thing in the world It's so dumb. Do you know how many books have been written in the history of the world and you ever go, oh god What if this book from like 1814 disappeared? Yes, that is an extremely- Who gives a shit? A library burning is like an evocative phrase for people. Knowledge being destroyed is bad. If it's like relevant knowledge... Well, who's to say? Oh my, oh we found this like- Only the popular stuff gets to survive?

Yeah, pretty much. That's not a very good history. It's not a very rich and storied history you have there, if only the popular shit gets to. Do you know there's some episodes of the Bozo the Clown show that have been lost to time? So I get to watch a clown yell at children. Oh my god, it's so horrible.

Oh, okay, so Star Wars Laser Disc, that version, the untouched Laser Disc original version, you don't give a shit about that at all. No, the point is that that is preserved because it's actually one of the few pieces of media that matters. Anything that is lost to time was probably dog shit with very few exceptions.

There are some Doctor Who episodes, which I understand why fans of Doctor Who are sad that they'll never be able to see those. Why, is Tits a number or something? No, they just disappeared. Who cares? Yeah, I get if you're a fan of a franchise or whatever, if you're a fan of an author,

but like the stuff they're trying to preserve, again, it's like, oh my God, California Raisin's on NES. We only have a beta version. It's missing level five. We'll never be able to experience all of California raisins. It's like who fucking cares? It does not matter. It's cute.

It's fun. But like these guys talk about it like, well, did you see they just lost a lawsuit or whatever. They were trying to get the Library of Congress to digitize every video every video game and the video game companies were like we still sell that shit No, don't put that in the fucking Library of Congress for selling that and they're all crying. They're like, you know We're gonna lose all the video games They're on every emulator site in existence You can get any I can go download a torrent with every Super Nintendo game that ever existed I will never play 99% of them because they're dog shit. Okay, that was actually

Mod chipping my PlayStation. Yeah, like doing piracy probably ruined video games for me because there's just too much to play in it Most of it sucks. Yeah, and even the stuff that was good just felt shitty after that I'm like, I don't really care about this anymore. And I never really cared about video games again after that. It was weird when you were a kid and you only had five games. And so you were forced to play. Even if a game was kind of shitty, you would get into it and it was your game. And the second you got an emulator box and you had every single Nintendo game ever, you're

like, I guess I'll play Mega Man again. I don't want to try any of this new stuff. I don't really want to even get good at this Yeah, okay That's all the comments these guys are crying because there's a there's a version of Bill Vlambe dears combat Basketball with like extra sprites that nobody can find Sounds like a fun game. We have to ban Vito from the podcast. Awww.

I guess I'm going to skirt shirt on those guys. I like, look, I like some of those guys, but they don't like me, so what can I do? Well, look at you. Here are the shiny example of the end. I'm leaving them behind. I'm leaving them behind. And I'm plowing forward for America. Doesn't it feel good to win though?

It feels great to win. I mean, doesn't it? The trans people don't give a shit about you. This has always felt normal to me. Winning definitely don't give a shit about you. Have you heard them this week? They're talking about going on sex strike and shit? Bitches, we're shutting that down.

That's not OK. Yeah. We're locking that up. We're done. Or better yet, we're unlocking that. It's going to be mandatory. The incel revolution is here. All incels will be given one woman at random.

No, that's not good. Well, that's the best we got. I'm sorry. It's going to be a lotto. Some of you guys are going to win Hitomi Tanaka. Some of you guys are going to win Big Bertha Jones from Fentanyl Street. Hitomi Tanka, that's what they're going to win. OK, do you want to do a vote it up? Some of you guys are gonna win Big Bertha Jones from Fentanyl Street.

Tommy Tanka, that's what they're gonna win. Okay, do you want to do a vote it up? I want to do a vote it up. Oh, this is another fucking god damn it! That's gonna get us struck again, isn't it? I don't know. Just skip ahead to him doing the lyrics. It's almost there. Okay. Don't live a big intro in here.

VOTE IT UP! VOTE IT UP! VOTE IT UP! Nevermind, don't play this at all. Good work! God damn it! Stop sending in copyrighted shit! Some of them don't get struck.

Guys, welcome to Voted Up! The segment where we look at past problems, put them in a new light. Shit some of them don't get struck guys. Welcome to vote it up the The segment where we look at past problems put them in a new light, you know I'm so blown away by Trump's victory that I got a little bit of a brain fog So if I'm slow on today's show, what can you do? Look, we're all experiencing. We're all experience. It's the delirium of joy They saw overwhelmed with What do we do first I close my eyes and I just see him ascending to the throne and it is glorious. Well I wonder what he's going to say about this. Dick, I got a question for you.

What are one of the biggest challenges facing healthcare workers? Workers? Yes, workers in the healthcare... You mean the fat chicks behind the counter that make you fill out the form? Nurses and doctors. What is one of the biggest challenges? Diabetes. That's pretty good. That's pretty close. What do you mean?

The actual answer, Dick, is a lack of protective equipment for Muslim women. As we remember from episode 57, the refusal to wear the hijab. Well, thankfully those in the healthcare field who have been dealing with the fact that if you're wearing a job while working, you know, in the health care

industry, it can become infected. You know, you got to keep swapping it out. A job can become affected. Exactly, because you're going into these infectious environments. Thankfully, respiratory therapists, Yasmin, Samatar and fear only Adam have created a line of disposable hijabs called the Hygenic Hijab. Did they go to med school for this?

They did go to med school. They went to med school. But not for this necessarily. Well, you know, for what then? Why were they sent to med school then? To become male doctors? I don't think so. If you want to take a look at these real quick go to USMowatta.com

USMowatta. What's a motto with you? USMowatta Mowatta with two D's Mo wait that MA guys your USMowatta.com There you go this of course the hygienic hijab

is a proprietary design derived from extensive user testing. Currently available in two different styles, the Ickram style can be wrapped and tied in the front or back, and the Zenub style can be pulled on quickly and conveniently. Both styles are constructed from a specially made breathable spun-bound fiber. Why does it look like she's in a domestic violence commercial?

Well, who directed this commercial? The lighting's a little weird. I think this is before when they didn't have the... Yeah, it used to be so hard for them. I want to see how hard it used to be. Alright, I'll play the commercial. I haven't seen this. Jobs worn in medical facilities have never been an acceptable form of PPE.

During the COVID crisis, the problem grew much more prevalent. It was hard during COVID. Not having access to the global economy. Let me pause it. Oh. Oh. Ah. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. It's a good music track that he chose there. It seems like we've had it before.

Hit the gallery real quick. I just want to make sure people can see. You know what? You know what we're gonna be doing now? What's that? It's this little thing called the be normal. We're gonna go around if you're fucking around. You better fucking straighten up and be normal

or you're getting the fuck out of here. That's what we're doing. Shouldn't our mothers and brothers and sisters, well I guess not our brothers, they wouldn't be wearing a jacket. Look at that, they look happy. That's what we're doing. Showing our mother and brothers and sisters, well I guess not our brothers, they wouldn't be wearing a job. Look at that, they look happy. That's the problem. That's what we're gonna put an end to.

All this smiling shit. You're gonna go into the doctor, and a lady comes in and she's wearing her disposable hijab. I'm gonna say, why do you have a shoe on your head? Why do you have a hospi- This is proprietary, taking the hospital shoes and putting it on your fucking head? I know that's what happened. What is this fat bitch so happy about? I don't know. What is she listening to a jelly bean?

Hey look they got one for kids so if your kid is your little daughter is not wearing her hijab because she doesn't want to get dirty. Why the fuck would you do this? Well because these Muslims want to adhere to the Muslim faith while continuing to practice medicine. Is Allah retarded? Is that what they think? I mean, isn't that all religions? Well, you can tie a string around New York and it's the same as being inside, says the Jews. They're tying around other cities too now. They're tying the string around other cities. I would imagine they have them in most major cities, don't they?

I don't know. You gotta do something about that. 80% voting for Kamala? I don't know. You gotta do something about that. 80% voting for Kamala? I don't know if those strings... If you ever want to shut Hollywood down, you just gotta cut that string and then all of them gotta run back inside. Like the Danter Tomorrow. Yeah, exactly. You see the Jewish energy field start to dissipate and slowly shrink like Fortnite. Exploding.

And they turn into pennies like Ready Player One. dissipated slowly shrink like And they turn into pennies like ready player one Don't snip don't snip the don't snip the cord guys, it's horrible you really do sound like I mean your normal jokes Yeah, it look a lot mess This is my new guy man I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, You know refusal to wear the hijab now they have no excuse even if they're doctors that we can force them to wear Why don't they wrap toilet paper on their head like a mummy? Okay well I think that's What?

The disposable hijab currently available guys 10 of these is $69 which seems like a fucking rip off 10 is $69? Yeah you're gonna go through They call it $69? Yeah, you're going to go through... They called it $69? I don't know why they put $69, but you're going to go through a couple of those in a day if you got to change them out every time. Why does it look like the men's warehouse logo? Doesn't it?

Because two women made it. They look like, come on. Women don't know how to run a business. Do they tuck into their shirts? I think you can wear them right. Well, there's two different styles. But look, they're like blue. They're like blue slip on Yeah, shoe covers sure is it slip on your head. This bitch is hot and then they're the one at the bottom

It's got it really wrapped around her neck there. She's in a wheelchair. I think quite possibly Well, I'm excited that our Muslim Muslim sisters have come up with this exciting. So you know, next time you go to the doctor and you're bleeding out on the table and they don't go, oh, I gotta go change my hijab. You're like, you know, they can just quickly slip it on and get back to fixing you guys. It feels a little weird. The job is currently number 480 with 151 up votes. So why don't you vote it up?

What if Mexicans are doing medical sombreros? And they had disposable sombreros? That would be good. Everybody should have access. It's part of my religion. I don't know what other religious guard. For Allah! This is a very unique problem. I didn't realize that with Muslim women

it's hard enough for them to break through that glass ceiling. I didn't know you could have such a stupid solution to such a stupid problem I didn't know that like you know isn't Allah mad if you're just throwing your fucking hijab out all the time All right fair enough Dick I got one more problem for you from our bonus episode 15, which was the biggest problem in 420. This was the problem of legalizing weed. The argument that making weed legal was a detriment because it fills our streets with these horrible reefer smokers.

Well public support for legalizing marijuana does remain near an all time high. However, cannabis criminalization policies had mixed results at the polls on election night. Yeah. Nebraska voters approved a pair of ballot measures to provide medical cannabis. Well, voters in Dallas and two other Texas cities have decided in favor of municipal measures which prohibit local law enforcement from making low-level marijuana arrests. So leaving your typical street user alone. However, Florida, a statewide measure that sought to legalize marijuana possession and sales for adults, despite receiving more than 1.2 million more yes votes than no votes. The popular vote, it won by 1.2 million.

But because of how the rules work in Florida, you must have a super majority of 60%. Because they wanted to make an amendment. They wanted to do something really dumb. And it was like a weed company was sponsoring it. And it was only their weed that was going to be legal. Oh, that's fucking weird. It was really fucking dumb. But it got to 57%.

It was close. Just make it legal then you fucking idiots. Governor Ron DeSantis did publicly oppose that however and it's possible that he was the one who managed to push voters away from decriminalizing weed. All their cops got on TV and said like marijuana causes fentanyl overdoses and domestic violence. It's like that's rich you guys. You guys are worried about domestic violence? Are you guys electric about domestic violence?

So just being a cop. Yeah. Well, they can't pass an amendment on that. Let's see. Adult use, legislation, ignition. The Dakotas also failed. South Dakota and North Dakota both failed. But both states do regulate medical cannabis.

So weed's still struggling to find a stranglehold. That was again, the problem of legalizing weed number 695, voted up. Yeah, okay. I don't know what to play for this one. We need some kind of a jingle. That Kamala bitch said she'd decriminalize all of it, which sounds terrible coming from her, but if Trump decided to do it, I think he would do it in a much better way. I don't think he'd ever I don't think he's ever gonna do that I don't know what he's gonna do. He's not big on freedom to be honest Well, that's the way RfK can get in there, I don't know all right like this has got to be You know, okay. I should have played it at the beginning

sure, I This has got to be... Vitos, uh, okay. I should have played it at the beginning. Sure. I love when we have a big intro bit of music to get us prepped. Five seconds should be it. Okay. Can you even tell what the fuck he's saying? You gotta play it. It's fun to have an idea and you rush out and get it out

But then sometimes you got to stop and listen to it find a little pop song Enunciate clearly the lyrics you're trying to say you can't enunciate it. Don't do it Yeah, if you feel embarrassed just don't do it. There are a lot of guys recording in a closet I'm like, are you worried mom's gonna come in and be like, what are you doing in there? I'm recording a sticker for a podcast mom. What's a stinger? I don't know I'm the winner, huh? Five minutes of Celebrate good times. Come on. Load it up. Am I going cuz I'm the winner. Yes, dick I want to talk about a really important problem out there. It's a problem. I call fake fans

These are guys who you know something great happens and they act like they've always been there a part of it You know, I think they've always been a fan of the franchise Yeah, when in reality they just went out and bought a jersey threw it on know they're rooting for the team, too Yeah, they don't even know the names of half the players. They don't even know what positions they're playing It's a and they're just out there. It really grinds support the team. They didn't support the team when they were down in the fucking trenches, you know? And it's only when they come up, you know, and now they're winning now. Ooh, now the Patriots are on top. They go, Oh yeah, I've always been a football team. You mean? Yeah, of course. Yeah. They go,

Oh, I've always been a Patriot. I've been a patriot since day one and you go Oh, yeah, where were you and all the Patriots shit and they go. How do you feel about Tom Brady who who? Oh, yeah, well, no, I like him. Yeah, right exactly It's these guys who let's be real the real fans have been there since day one through the thick when things seem they're worst You know, right when like the team was getting no respect Getting arrested getting a red. Yeah, you know players getting thrown off thrown away Bullshit charges whatever, huh? You know and these guys just show up out of nowhere They go who's been who's been?

I've always loved it's for everything man. It's like your favorite band Like you have a band you really like yeah, and then you get these guys and they show up I've always been, I've always been into that. I've always loved that. It's for everything, man. It's like your favorite band. Like you have a band you really like. And then you get these guys and they show up, you know? And they just, they only know the greatest hits. You know, what's your favorite, you know, like Pink Floyd. Okay, you go, oh yeah, what's your favorite Pink Floyd song?

And they go, the wall. I'm all about the wall. I've always been about the wall. The wall is, I've always been behind the wall. I was there for the wall since day one. And you go, oh, you only know the greatest hits, you don't even know what the fuck you're talking about. You don't know any of the deep cuts.

Okay? And it really just, it's just really upsetting the way these people are. Cause you can see through it, you can see. It's so fucking fake, these fuckers. They think, oh, you just. It's not that it should be a kind of a bigger problem You think it well? I think it's the biggest problem. I mean, I don't see it. I only see it a Handful of times maybe one you've only ever once experienced fake fans trying to worm their way in trying to take

And they go look, you know know you're watching the Super Bowl. And they go, oh look, us Patriots won. We did it, all of us Patriots. And you go, bullshit. Dive with the Dodgers as well. Patriots gonna unprotect their Twitter account? I don't, well, if they private it, maybe they gotta un-private it

and be a part of the conversation. Yeah, they should. I think that it's just shame. Obviously they want to support the general manager of the team. Of the team, the GM is a very important part. His decisions are obviously good for Twitter. And then you check, you look back in like their history of like what they've been into. You know, and they go, yeah, you know, I'm all about like this fucking hardcore shit, you know?

And then you look, and then like, you know, they've been listening to fucking the budget. Yeah, girl music and like old guy bands, fucking old dudes strumming banjos and shit. That is elaborate. Singing about ice cream and whatever the fuck else. I just can't get, I see these guys, I get so mad, cause like I'm an authentic guy.

Is this deep steak Derek talking? I'm an authentic guy. Right. I've always been an authentic guy, okay. I've always been 100% authentic about what I am and what I'm about and what I'm about is, just being there for your fucking team, man. That's what matters, okay.

And I'm sick of these fake fucking... Like the Gripers! They didn't support Trump and then... Fake fucking fans, man. And then they were celebrating. Now they're trying to take credit for this shit. But they took pictures of their ballots. They got a big fat bitch taking pictures. I see through, look, this Fuentes guy, he's got some good ideas, I get it.

But I see through the bullshit man he was not on Wow team and uh It's you sounds you're so much smarter. You sound so much smarter this week than you know I just I hate seeing you really get it a good thing that a lot of people worked on putting together You know really came together yeah, and I hate seeing a bunch of guys trying to take credit for that, trying to say they're a part of it at the at the zero hour. Where were you when we were in the trenches, when the team was fighting their way uphill? You were not there. I did not see you.

Yeah, where was Netanyahu? Where was Netanyahu? Where are his guys showing up? There's a lot of guys who were missing. Yeah, a lot of guys who were missing on the field. And I'm just, you know, I'm just so glad though. I think of it. I think the real fans can identify each other, you know, like I look across from you and I go that guy right there. Same team. Same team. Same as you

always will be always have been and there's no stopping that. That's the that's the power of fandom, you know, as you can identify. You can see the fake fans. And the fake fans, I don't know what's gonna happen to them. We're gonna have to- Prison. If they got, well, I don't know about prison. That could be-

We gotta shove them into a garbage can. No, maybe something like that. I'm just saying, but I would say also, maybe these fake fans could become real fans with time. Maybe we can give them a little adjustment period. We gotta take their healthcare. Then maybe. Yeah, that's true. That could be the way to do it.

Okay, is that your problem? That's my problem. Pretty elaborate problem. Well, you know, there's a lot going on in the world. Something you're passionate about though. Obviously. I think the patriot in me comes out, you know? Way more fun.

It is a lot of fun. To be, you know, when you lose, you're going to jail and stuff and everybody's like, oh man. Well, you know, I'm just sick of all this fucking woke shit. All right, I want it gone. Yeah. I want all the Jans 6 guys back, Proud Boys back on the streets,

stand back, stand by. No stand by anymore. Uh-uh. OK, we're in full attack mode. We're going big time. OK. Here's my problem is sore losers. You experienced any of these?

I don't know. Recently, when Bobby Knight, remember he would throw that chair? He threw that chair. Was Bobby Knight the tennis player? Bobby Knight was a tennis player that argued with the ref. Mackenro was the basketball coach, that high school basketball coach. That would throw shit? Yeah. I thought Mackenro was also a tennis player. Is that a different guy? That's a different guy. Here's an example of a sore loser. Latino. That's a different guy. Here wanted a better engagement for us. She wanted us to have a better future.

And now, now this is all going to be taken away from him. Because of that stupid, stupid fucking- He's a villain! He's a villain! He's a villain! He's a villain! He's not goingon! He's a felon! OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Oh man Uh Well, we don't want to do anything illegal Oh Would you like to see another sore loser perhaps of course I love reveling in the destruction of my enemies

This is very exciting for me. Uh, here's uh, here's one that this is with a selfie stick. That might be a surprise. That's a bad angle. That's a bad angle. Does she have a good angle? Probably the camera pointing the other way would be a better angle than this. Quite possibly. I'm done.

If you voted for Trump, I think you're a fucking loser. I think you're stupid. I think you're a moron. I think you're evil. I think you're a moron. I think you're evil. I think that You deserve to die by my hands By the rake that's my get those sausage fingers around my neck lady on your school You fucking hit us with their backs crashing right? I'm better than you're a horrible person. You don't deserve air Fucking kill yourself before I get to you.

Whoa! Oh ho ho ho ho ho! Spicy! Well maybe if I need air I can suck some out of that giant balloon of a body you've got. You libtard cuck. Ah, another one. God, these liberal tears. These liberal tears are just delicious. Aww, look at that. Aww. Let it out.

Aww. Let it out. Let it out. Let it out. Let it out. Let it out. Let it out. Let it out.

Let it out. Let it out. Let it out. Let it out. Let it out. Let it out. Let it out. Let it out.

Let it out. Let it out. Let it out. Let it out. Let it out. Let it out. Let it out. How do you feel about that one? Excellent green screen work, I'm gonna say. Yeah. I don't know if that was added after the fact. You don't think that was in front of a rally behind Trump? I don't know what's going on. America hated women.

Oh yeah. She knew American women. I knew America hated women that we weren't seen, we weren't heard, we weren't valued. I knew American women hated women. I just did not know how much we were truly hated until this morning. Well, not just you guys, like we hate a lot of guys. This country, America,

is a fucking shithole. It's garbage. Talk about a floating island of garbage. Jesus Christ. You are the brother of a rapist. She has clipped us. A rapist! I hate all of you

just as much as you hate us. Fuck you. Fuck you. Oh my god. Well these bitches are crazy. These are... What a bunch of nut jobs. One more.

One more sore loser. I'm gonna have some stuff to read you. Oh, okay. Look at this. What's the name of the TikTok thing? It's a dinner plate with a wig on it. That's at tiktok.com. At dinner plate with a wig on it. That's at tiktok.com. Dinner plate with a wig on it.

Okay. Here we go. Nice eyebrows. Baby, if you wanted to touch my body, you should have voted for it. Whoa. Baby. Oh, man. I want to shave your face.

That's the first thing on my list. Black woman says, can someone create a shirt for black women that says, get somebody else to do it? Black women are going on strike get them to do what? be like Take forever. I feel like you say yourself from saying what are we gonna get them to do? They could you move out of the way. I guess we got to get another black woman to do that I'm gonna need someone else to yell at the guy at the

7-eleven because the If we go to a movie now, we're gonna have to yell oh hell no by ourselves There's gonna have to step up to the hell. Somebody in this theater's gonna go. Oh hell no Right on minecraft. They're gonna cut that bitch out jack black would look over it'll be empty screen and we'll go Oh, it'll just go like, wah, wah, oh, hell no! Okay, the idea of an America where the only thing left is white people, and white people have to fulfill certain roles, the emptiness left behind. We thought we were gonna lose out on the guys picking fruit.

It really comes out we're gonna lose the hell no ladies. And that's gonna be a huge problem. This bus is kinda quiet. Can you talk about something on your cell phone? Can you play music on your phone? Any kind? Just loud and annoyingly? Talk about like her pussy or something? Like, oh I guess so. Yeah, I saw her over last night at 11.30. No, like 4am. A time that no one would ever be. A time that no normal person should be awake. Yeah,. Yeah. Yeah, I was like 4 a.m.

Yeah, I touched the pussy Yeah, no, it's like you don't really know like yes, you got the pussy Got the pussy we're gonna see white guys with spray bottles coming up to your car at intersections being like hey You want to clean there? You go? Normally, there's a yeah sure guy. I don't know what to do. Oh. Ha ha ha ha ha. The problem is, they're going to want like $12.

You know, the other guy was cheaper. Oh, man. What do you think we're? Sore losers, huh? Well, here's the thing. How are we going to get through the drive-through? We're going to have to think about our order. We don't have 10 minutes to sit in the drive-through.

Black women aren't going to be participating in society anymore. I know. We're going to have our order ready to go right away. Here's what I think, though. All these people are sore losers because they've never experienced winning on a scale this grand before. You mean a lot of them? Yeah, they've never experienced this amount of winning.

Right. So they think it's a loss. So they think it's a loss. Like, if something is so hot, it feels cold. And then they're going to wake up. Well, some of them them aren't gonna be here anymore, but the ones who are still here They're gonna go ahead. This is pretty good crystals. This is pretty yeah, you know and life in the crystal is not that bad Well, it's a it's every one of their nightmares right so for us. It would be not that bad, but for them Yeah, they're just trapped in a...

You can't have like nails that are six feet long at your office job. They're trapped in an endless loop of microaggressions that never end. Yeah. Every white guy is trying to touch your fucking hair. Ah! Ah! Wow, your hair's so pretty! Ah!

This guy says, this little twinkie guy says, your body my choice. Yeah, how about your jaw my fist? Yikes. You know, these guys are. These guys are off the plantation. When your daughter. And we can say that now because Trump won. We can make all sorts of references. When your daughter or granddaughter suffers

a miscarriage and dies from sepsis, try not to cry too hard, is what they're saying. At least the gas to attend her funeral will be affordable. it's you know that I think when your daughter when your granddaughter dies right you have gas granddaughter I think I would pay a little extra for gas to get to my granddaughter's when your granddaughter dies we're not we're carpooling the funeral talking about gas there's a there's a car that takes the family. That's the problem with sore losers, they don't really think out there.

They can't come up with good metaphors for what's gonna happen. They're just like vomiting everywhere, you know? They're like, we're gonna deny you sex. I'm like, you weren't already doing that. You weren't doing that already? Yeah, what are you talking about? Huh. You're fucking a lot of concerned guys. I've met you liberal women, and you're always tired I'm gonna watch two episodes of the office. Okay good Yeah, let's see

So good to win doesn't uh What the fuck guy I have officially reached the anger phase of grief as of today I have a new outlook when it comes to Trump supporters I'm gonna start acting like them. I like this one. Hmm when they are when they when they act like you yeah, right I'm gonna act cool. Yeah, that's not it and here's what I mean about that. Oh good explanation Yeah, thank God helpful. We tried to warn motherfuckers What would happen if this bastard fascist got into power and now the pain is coming for millions of people.

Is he acting like us now? They think it won't happen to them, but when people start getting deported, their families start going into cages. What the hell was that? Everybody loses their health care and social security. They tank the economy and their wives and daughters start dying Because they can't get the medical care they need the first thing I'm gonna ask them all of everyone's wives and daughters are gonna start dying It always about women are gonna like like are no guys gonna die is my wife or is our wives gonna start dying?

No, cuz that's a diff. There's a difference there When they start complaining it the first thing I'm gonna ask them is, are you a Trump supporter? And if they answer yes, my answer is gonna be ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha And then all caps, fuck you. That'll get them. That'll really knock them for a loop. What? Hey! I'm rethinking everything now. My granddaughter dies of, they can't get medical care?

They have no compassion for others. So today I have zero compassion for them. And then, I mean, this one's totally ridiculous. Who thinks Trump rigged this election? They're starting in with that. I did see some of that. I did see some of the voter fraud accusations. Where did those votes go?

Where did those votes? They're still counting. They're coming in. Oh, they'll find them, you think? Yeah, yeah. I don't even think they finished counting California. You know, those liberal fucking, you know, a lot of votes went missing.

Yeah, you know what? It was, they tried to steal it, but thankfully there was too many of us. Too many patriots. Too many patriots out there, keeping an eye out, watching these fucking black ladies trying to sneak their votes in in these ballot boxes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Right, right. Okay. And thankfully we... Don't ask them again. Because they're on strike. We kept an eye out and now we're going to destroy all the voting machines. Paper ballot, handwritten ballots only, hand counted. We're going to have voter ID folks.

I do not believe 20 million votes evaporated without malign activity I pray that this person comes forward. Although I doubt they will a massive game was played. We lost that Game, you know, they did exit votes disappeared. What I hate is it's like, you know, like CNN exit polled everyone and they're like Yeah, I fucking love Trump. He's the best like Think CNN's lying about that come on country shifted all the influencers the liberal influencers really lied about a lot of stuff to their audience which ones all of them all of them all that's not destiny our good friend destiny now that j6 shit he's a little he's a little he's a little mistaken about some thing

Still a good guy. I love him, but oh they should people should be he's just confused You know what it doesn't once you dye your hair blue that liberal brain rot starts to seep into your skull whether you like it Or not we're gonna. We're to take Destiny back from the brink. I know Dan is fighting for the rights of Israel, which is also very important. No, he's fighting to deplatform the Twitch CEO. Yeah, well, I don't know what's going on. You guys might need to save that energy.

Ew. Well, it is true. You guys might need to save that energy It's true everybody should accept this is a fair election and It's not that we hate well it is we hate women but like cuz we know what's best for you. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, okay. All right, dick. I have a problem. I see that you've come around Yeah, okay. All right, uh, dick. I have a problem. It's nice to see that you've come around After all you know cater walling and stuff about like UBI That was my character like my famous liberal character veto the cuck Okay, this is ultra patriot veto. This is deep state there, and I've been here since the beginning brother

You know I had another problem that that was also inspired by the election. If you go to my Twitter real quick, I have a video. And I just actually, can I start the video because I know where it's going? Just go to my Twitter and I'll click around. So I went over my buddy's house to watch as a I have one here. Is it connected to this computer? So I go to my buddy's house for decision night 2024.

We're watching all the different channels. Oh, you did? And as we're watching it, who's this Van Jones guy? Am I supposed to know this guy is clearly a black individual who belongs to the CNN network? He's just like some black racist. Hold on, let me pull it up. Yeah.

So I'm watching him. He's on with Anderson Cooper. And then he has this little, started going on a little speech about who was really failed in the election. He says, you know, black women, really. This is a, this is a good, if everyone is gonna suffer, it's black women.

And he's right, we're gonna do a lot of things with those people, but. Yeah, imagine having to hear that all day, every day. You'd probably wake yourself up out of a dream. Oh, hell no! Oh, hell no! Now here's the thing, is CNN re-uploaded his little speech about how black women are suffering,

but they left off the last like 10, 15 seconds. And I thankfully, I was able to find, I spent all day, I'm like, where did it go? Cause they cut it out. Thankfully I found someone who clipped the ending part. We're going to see what happens here, if it will play. And hopefully, it will. It's probably mad that I started it in the middle.

Come on, Anderson Cooper. Just click on it. Like the post. Can I click on the video? Click on that. Beep. There. Do I have audio do I have audio I have audio And I'm being close at the dry cleaners to people who don't have papers

There's gonna be people who can be cleaning your teeth tomorrow who don't have papers and they're terrified tonight And so it's easy to blow this off. Oh, they'll get the elites. They're gonna get there come up It's not the elite. It's gonna pay the price It's a price woke up this morning with a dream and are going to bid with a nightmare. And those people deserve to be respected and held and talked to. Those are the people that are gonna pay the price

for whatever Donald Trump decides to do. How do we know that those people didn't vote? A large portion of those people aren't a part of the people that elected Donald Trump. Right? I think that's a good part of the electorate. And the black women, the party, the the Democratic Party let those black women down. Not Donald Trump. Dave, the footage?

We gotta go. Let's go back. I'm watching that guy. So for reference, that guy went on like a two minute like, oh, they're going to clip the hell out of this. It's me being like the people who are suffering the most they went to bed with a dream and they woke up with a nightmare they're cleaning your teeth that was his like illegal Venezuelan criminals clean my teeth immigrants are there being talking about and what's great is he's like oh man I just going to bryman you dumb fuck what are you talking about cleaning my teeth so you deliver I think people get their cle cleaned? Like a fish? Like oh just line up and a bunch of illegals?

I'm saying it should just be Asian massage ladies doing it. We'd be much happier. Okay. So he gives this perfect clip worthy moment. Okay, which CNN did clip. Yeah. And then along comes Whitey to go, yeah, but all the Latinos voted for him. Hahaha! How do you explain that? Kind of like fucking up his thing. And dude, I don't know if you see in the video

what's his name, puts his hand on him he's like, dude, Latinos voted for Trump what are you talking about? What are you talking about, man? And this guy, Van Jones, this black guy, he goes UGH! Kind of blowing up my spot, bro. Dude, they were about to fight. To fight? It was going to be awesome. And what happens, I were about to fight a fight. It was gonna be awesome. And what happens?

I'm about to see two guys like it's about to actually be interesting He's gonna go what do you mean? What do you mean? Jump ace black women blah blah blah. He's gonna go. Yeah, but they all fight and then Anderson Cooper this fucking This little a feet liberal gay guys gotta go. Oh guys We can't fight we gotta move it along, we gotta move it along. We can't fight in the war room. Can't fight in the war room. Yeah.

There's no fighting in the war room, Dick. My problem is guys who break up a fight right when it's about to get good. Yeah. You see two guys in the street, they're arguing about something retarded, they're both drunk out of their minds, there's some fat white redneck. He's already taking off his shirt. The shirt is off. The little man tits are out red on the chest. OK. He's spun the hat backwards.

He's like, come on, bro. Come on, bro. Come on, bro. OK, across from him, maybe a Latino guy. You know, he's popping up the collar. He's like, what's up, essay? What's up, essay? What we doing, man?

What's doing? And there's got to be that one guy who goes guys Stop it Even worse when a woman does it oh god getting involved like when you just fucking pop See the only benefit of that is sometimes when the woman tries to stop it they don't pop her in the mouth and that's yeah That's just a cherry on the icing cake Yeah, okay in the mouth and that's just a cherry on the icing cake. Yeah. Okay, but sometimes they get in there and say, if my girl wasn't here bro, if my girl

wasn't here bro, bro, if my girl wasn't here, bro, bro, bro. It's like dude, if you see two guys about to beat the shit out of each other and let's say, okay, look, I understand if you're the girlfriend, you're like, well, if he dies, then I don't have anyone to pay child support or whatever. Okay, I get it. That's true. Yeah. Okay. But if you're not- Should have anyone to pay child support or anything. Okay, I get it. That's true. Yeah, okay. But if you're not...

Should have stopped it sooner then though. Right. Well, you started it, let's be clear. If two guys are fighting and a woman's there, she's the reason for it. So she's not allowed to try to stop it. Mexican women will just fake like they're fainting. Hispanic panic. Oh, adios, mia, oh, mo.

And then they'll make them call like the EMTs, bringing the ambulance out. It happens all the time. Unless you have a vested financial interest in either of these men surviving, your job is to take out your cell phone and record it for the rest of us. That's your only reason for being there. Okay, no one needs a little peace caper Johnny. No.

Guys, guys, come on, guys, come on, guys, come on. I don't care if they're your best buddies or whatever else. Unless it's like your boss or your employee or somebody who makes you money, let them kill each other. It doesn't matter. Let it happen. It's a natural way of things. When we went, when was the last time you almost saw a fight?

Or when's the last time you saw a fight? Christ, that's a great question. I was at this bar downtown with my friend Yeah, we were at you know couples night And this these two fat women came rolling out of the bathroom like Andy Cap like, you know Heathcliff Sure, whatever a ball of fucking Flying around flying out of a dust cloud. Yeah, and one of them terms and I said, oh should we do something and I already had my phone out Recording it and like how did you get that? How did you get your phone out that fast? What are you talking about? It's an instinct. Yeah, what are you gonna do? Yeah

I'm doing the right thing. You're doing something weird It's been a while cuz again if I had seen a fight recently I would have definitely tried to record it and then when they get they get in a fight their clothes get all ripped off and they look disgusting but they're getting up and they're like adjusting their clothes like the clothes are like going back on and nothing happened. I mean just go home. At that point I think once you take off the shirt, you've made a commitment. Shirt's off.

Yeah, you can't then. You already saw your tits. Put it back on and walk away. You leave with the shirt off and you put it on at a second location. Yeah, go to the bathroom and don't come back. But there really needs to be, okay, so it's a dual problem. One problem is people who don't take out their cell phones quick enough. I come to the fight foot.

Breaking up a fight is pretty bad. Yeah. We were camping a couple weeks ago. Yeah. And this guy was all, this guy was all lit up on something. I don't know what he was on. He was on bath salts or something. He's being a real annoying asshole.

And he went out into the middle of the dance floor outside, and he lit his carpet on fire. And then he started rolling around on it, and he was starting to light on fire. That's horrific. Okay. It was like yes awesome, right? But then the fucking Rangers like this the safety keeping rangers swarm out of nowhere Put out the fire. They're kicking dirt on him and like rolling him over. Well Job is the problem there, you know? They're volunteers, I think. OK, that's true.

There should also be a rule, you know, hey, when a cop breaks up a good fight, you're like, yeah, there should be a let them let them tire themselves out. Like hockey. Yeah, exactly. But it should be like coded into law, like cops go, well, why didn't you intervene? He was clearly in trouble. Oh, is the let them tire themselves out portion of the fight Well, you know I had to let them get tired first Yeah, they arrested that Daniel Penny guy on the subway right for killing that guy or choking him out

And then he died engaging in a playful fight on the subway. That man had a medical Malfunction and happened to die Coincidentally,, for being loud. And he said, quickly, can any black women stop this? And they said, don't ask us to do nothing. I guess I'll do it myself. I guess I'm going to have to step in. Isn't that the story of America?

A white man having to step in and fix everything for everyone else. And thankfully, one white man has agreed to do that for us and his name is Donald J. Trump. How are your friends handling this? Probably poorly. I don't have any left. Melting down. Because I do an alt-right podcast which celebrates.

What is this? Oh yeah, now it's over. Now I got this clip and this is great. It's a... Ha ha ha! This is prob, honestly, you know how there's that, I made that video where I dressed like Hitler I don't know that you've probably seen a screenshot of it. Yeah, maybe this is worse

This is this is infinitely worse to that the hat they hate those they hate this they hate this how which I've had forever I don't know why I don't wear it more often. I've had it for so long What do you mean a knockoff? That's mine, that's yours. That's my hat. I don't know. Where the fuck is my red hat? I'm a true patriot so I- Are you wearing my hat? I'm not wearing your hat. Jesus Christ.

Where is my hat? Oh no. Some fucking liberal goblin stole it. Oh there it is. Fake fan. I think your kerning is a little off. My kerning is off. Yeah it's a little bit goofy. I think you got one of the old ones before they fixed the guy earning I got ordered like my order number is like a thousand yeah and the hats yeah How much how much would you pay for a trumpet like 30 bucks? Whatever? It's all the same

I thought it's like 50 bucks on the website or something. Oh, maybe I don't know let me see what my order is Hold on that was a good one. Okay, so order number. Well you have the white Hold on, that was a good one. Uh, okay, so- Order number- Well, you have the white one. That's a different one. That's a different one. I've got, like, all of them. Is the white one an official one? Yeah. Okay. What are you talking about? I mean, we only buy official Trump merchandise. I'm working on getting one of those Trump watches. Now, that's a nice-looking timepiece.

Aren't those a money laundering scheme? Well, what do you need a money launder now? He's the president. All the money he's got. Yeah, we don't need those watches. Yeah, you can do anything you want. I gotta find it later. Okay, who else is breaking up a fight? Well, you know, hopefully nobody breaks up this Tyson Jake Paul fight, man. Yeah. You know, that's another guy who sometimes those managers with that towel, man, you're like, come on, man, I came all the way here to see a fight. You gotta let your guy get punched in the face a couple more times.

Okay. I wanna watch this guy bleed. Yeah, that's true though. Because Tyson's gonna tag him like one or two times hard. They're gonna take him out. They're gonna rip him out. I already hate it. Dude, if Tyson like starts landing, which he will, if the

second Tyson starts landing some blows on that kid's face, he starts pummeling his nose in, they're gonna end that fight immediately. Are they charging for that or is it free on Netflix? Oh, you're right. I think it's free on Netflix. It must be free because it's Netflix. They want everybody to sign up for Netflix. Huh, OK, well. I'm looking forward to seeing. Tyson says he's in Iron Mike mode. Iron Mike is back. He says he's afraid of Iron Mike.

Tyson is? He says, sometimes I got to lock that guy away, but I feel him coming back. And Iron Mike is not a guy you want. I think if he wins that fight, a lot of rape that night. Just a cry He's gonna if you're a lady and you're in the vicinity of iron mic. It's not rape then you got well I'm gonna say that yeah, you're taking your life

You're taking life in your own hands if you're anywhere near iron mic on fight night Man, is he after he pummels that poor little white boy into the ground? Lot of lot of babies are getting made. I really wanted to see, it's Jake Paul right? Jake Paul, yes. I wanted to see him get killed in the ring, like literally. Yeah.

But then he endorsed Trump and I'm like, ah, okay, I don't want to see you get, like I don't want to see him kill you anymore, but I do want to see you get beaten. I want Tyson to force him to eat his brother's moldy Lunchables just fucking force feed that moldy shit cheese down his mouth Yeah, go influence this you little piece of shit. Yeah influence this guys. Don't break up a fight Your job again is to take your camera phone and create a lasting memory for the internet Especially now because there should be there's's gotta be some fight footage coming now. Well, I don't know, most of the liberals

are too pussy to get into a scrim. Yeah, no, it's all world star hip hop fights still. Who's gonna be the new screaming Trump lady? The race is on. They're all, they're all of it now. Submit your nominations. There's so many. The problem is she had that slightly like like crane angle

It was like cinematic you're like that is like a hard shot to beat man Whoever got that shot is pretty good with it doesn't feel over yet the thing about the first time when Trump won is That was it. He won and it's like, alright We kind of we didn't really plan for this. Like, everybody still hates him in the government, so let's just see what happens and then they But now they have to accept him. Even the Republicans who hate him have to go, this is the party now. Oh yeah. Now it's beginning now.

Welcome to Trump Town, baby. It's not the Republican party anymore. It's the Don. Uh, okay, is that your problem? That's my problem. Yes my problem is slow poke motorcycles slow poke motorcycles You know slow poke the Pokemon. I love that guy slow Very slow very slow very slow to react motorcycles fast

right Zippy little little motorcycle go yeah, I heard it. It's gone You always and they're always weaving around you know and hopefully American-made because we're not but we're not importing any more of these little fucking Rice Rockets, okay, those are getting thrown out. I'm sorry guys You get it you get it you get another couple months to ride your little Honda around on the street Yeah, and it's all American made. But then you get to a stoplight, right? And the motorcycle comes up next to you, gets a little bit in front of you, and you're like, okay, because we have a deal.

Because we got a deal. You get a motorcycle, as soon as that light turns green, you're off, right? So you're sitting there, and you should be off, because you're very vulnerable there, you're off, right? So you're sitting there, and you should be off, because you're very vulnerable there. You should get ahead of me on my scary large vehicle. Because I'm texting, and I'm going to see it turn green, and I don't want to get honked at,

so I'm going to hit the gas. And weaving is just fun. So sometimes I just jerk the wheel randomly right or left, and you want to be away from that. I'm driving with my knees while I'm eating. Yeah. Sometimes that light will turn green and you will get ready to go and the motorcycle will just be fucking sitting there fiddling around I don't know what he's doing bouncing back and forth. So you gotta go. Wasn't getting so I know

you just have to sit there being held prisoner by this fucking motorcycle guy Is he ahead of your cars you know the right your car? Well, it's that's the zoomed in front of your car. They always zoom right to the front. Yeah, they don't have to do that No, they're kind of you know putting it on themselves to get out there like that right? And then they're how are they not prepared because they can't text and drive. What are they doing? What are they thinking about thinking about how tiny their penises are. That's what it is. I think that is what they're thinking.

I think they're thinking about, oh, look at my little motorcycle, it's so face. Yeah. I like to drive so face. And then they're going slow on the freeway. Maybe I'll go get a taco, what kind of taco will I get? I'm like, bro, if you bought, if you're too afraid to go fast on the motorcycle just sell it like don't pretend to be a motorcycle guy then Yeah, I don't have motorcycle. I don't want to be driving 80 miles

Like I want to be fucking around my car being on my phone. Yeah paying attention It is kind of weird where it's like cars have become basically moving houses with all the luxuries of home And you're like this is awesome. I can do anything in here. And the guy's like I want to- He's making it more dangerous. Yeah, I have to pay attention to him, right? Right It's this little thing fucking thing going around Sticking like a thing sticking out in your bedroom. Like I don't know where that thing is, but I don't want to hit it Well, we got to get rid of uh, you know all these laws like classify motorcycle drivers is like you know other motorists

Like I think we should they should be once you get on the road on a motorcycle you have the same classification as an animal You know okay like if you hit hit them if you had a dog in your car It's like I know that sucks. I don't feel great about it, but you know, it's kind of, why was that dog on the highway? I'm not supposed to keep going. Yeah. Okay. And a motorcycle rider at that point, basically the same status and rights as an animal are fucking around. They're already, they already want to die. Anybody who buys a motorcycle is basically like, it'd be cool if I died today. That would be cool. Yeah. I don't want to wear a helmet. I don't want to wear any of these pads. Somebody could put me on their jacket and stuff.

And as I've always brought up, we've got to get rid of helmet laws. Oh, definitely those. Because the number of donated organs has drastically gone down inverse to helmet laws. Oh, really? Yeah, we used to get all our organs from motorcycle guys because they just hit a wall, their head explodes,

because they're not wearing a helmet. Everything else is just a big bag of perfect organs ready to go. Wow. We got rid of that. And we got rid of that. Those organs were going to real people. Yeah, exactly.

And we were like, oh, you gotta wear a helmet. Why? There's a bag of free organs for everyone. Like we had a good thing going there. And they totally fucked it up and now we're saving all these idiots. How did they get that through? Like of all the things that matter.

Helmet laws, yeah. How did they pitch like, we really gotta protect guys who have motorcycles. And people went, oh yeah, we totally have to protect these guys. Same shit with like smoking laws. It's like all these. Helmet selling companies. All companies smokers are dying and you're like, okay. Well Sometimes they're annoying

The ones who are smoking all the time everywhere like they probably deserve to get lung cancer, why would I want to stop that? Oh, I gotta smoke. I gotta go on smoke. I gotta go on smoke. I gotta smoke wherever the fuck I am Okay, well then get lung cancer. The government needs to make cigarettes safer. No. If a guy smokes like a cigarette a day, two cigarettes a day, you're like fine, you're gonna be fine. But the guys are smoking crazy amounts to get lung cancer, you're like yeah, die.

Yeah, but it doesn't work like that. It like plateaus. If you smoke one cigarette, it's something like that where if you smoke one or two It's the same as a million well whatever. I don't care about I don't like finding that out Shit really you don't smoke cigarettes. There should be well. I'm just that plateau like right at that plateau. Oh my oh no What's the plateau two cigarettes a day is too much? Two cigarettes a day is a lot. I know, but still like.

Probably two a week. Two a week, oh my god. So you can only, yeah, okay. Cigars are bad too. Cigars. There should be a PSA for smoking in other people's cars though. Yeah.

Like under no circumstance. No, not okay. Don't even, hey, stop. Don't even ask. Don't even ask. Bitch, bitch, don't even a bitch and it's a guy that's just stated dart dating this girl And she gets in his car and she's and she goes yeah you mind if I and then he just goes it shows outside of the car He's like one piece And there's a shot of him through the broken window like one piece

Where his fucking fist is like this? Yeah, and it says don't even know yeah, just freeze frame right on that Don't even ask a message from Trump's don't even ask get out. I'll be in our cars I'll get my fucking car. Don't smoke in his car. He just wants to get it in That'd be a pretty effective ad you want to know the worst thing that ever happened was, uh, I had a guy... American slavery? That's up there. The Holocaust. This is definitely worse.

I had a guy, and he had his cigarettes, so not only did he want to smoke in my car, which I think I was just like, yeah, sure, whatever, this guy's a scumbag, he then put them in my glove box. And for some reason, something was wrong with the glove box, he couldn't get it back open. And I'm like, well whatever man, we'll deal with it in the morning. People fiddling with delicate stuff? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so he's locked in there and he's like, you don't understand, I need my smokes.

I'm like, well we'll get them in the morning, don't worry about it. The next morning I come out, He's out there with a screwdriver fucking jamming it Trying to get his smokes out and he's because he's fuck cuz it like won't open He scraped up the front panel of the car with the screwdriver You're not that all the bro with all the plastic so if you look at my car I still have been like... Who is this guy? I don't want to talk about it, but...

Is he a delinquent? Is he a normal person? He's a homeless person now. Oh, he's homeless now? He's like an on-off, homeless type guy. Oh, wow. Look, I don't hate the guy, but I hate the fact that he took a screwdriver to try and get his fucking smokes out.

Instead of having me come out and being like hey It's your card You know how to get this open like yeah I could probably get it in like the middle of the night he decided he had to go out there with a screwdriver Yeah, probably like 100% he definitely was so Yeah smokers and that's Dash of the fucking area where the what do you call it? What did you say? I said thanks for doing that man. You really fucked it up, and he said it'll be good. It's fine

You can like buff it out. Oh god. I didn't fuck up your thing people. Yeah, I didn't it's not really that bad I guess like fucking gouged out dude I think the first the second you put a giant screwdriver gouge in the panel of my fucking car That was a cue to go. This is not working and I need to stop and it said he just kept at it Oh, no, he got it out. He went I did. Yeah, I did it. What did it break forever? Oh, yeah It's broken. It's broken. Yeah, yeah, it opens at all. So My glove box does not open because of whatever that guy did and there's a bunch of scratches in the on the panel of the glove Oh my god, and I've just he's still homeless. He is still homeless. I think he's in Victorville now

That's where the homeless Place be a meth addict it's a nice place to get some fentanyl. I'll tell you that God what a fucker. I won't name names, but uh... How many people are gonna wanna run around Victorville calling out a homeless person? I don't hate the guy, I feel bad for the guy. You should. But I was like, come on, man.

Of all the fuck... Where'd he get the screwdriver? From my house, he stayed at my house. He's like, oh cool, I'll sleep. He also invited another guy to sleep over my house without asking. Yeah, yeah. And he's like, this is my buddy.

And I'm like, I don't know him. Get outta here. No, he's cool, you guys are gonna be friends. I'm like, he's might steal all my shit and sell it for fentanyl. I don't know who this fuckin' is. It was one real fun night, let's put it that way. You don't hate this guy Why I because he's it down on his luck fucking meth head. I'm like I feel you know

I don't want him to fucking die, but oh Imagine he's doing this constantly he's doing this he's definitely doing this fucking week or day to somebody I have not seen him in years thankfully because I'll never see him again Oh, no over again, and he's not putting anything in my glove box doesn't let him on your property. Yeah, he's not coming to my property Why do you think I don't want people on my property because then they grab a screwdriver and start breaking everything in my fucking life I've had a lot. I gotta get my cigarette your cigarette I would have thought you're a win or meth or I wish he had just come to me and said, hey, we really need to go to the store so you can buy me cigarettes and a lighter.

Otherwise I'm going to take a screwdriver and fuck up your car forever. I would have said, yeah, okay, fine. I'd forgotten about that story. I was with this guy at some kind of party. There's outhouses, porta-potties. Sure. And he goes in there. It's taking a long time. I'm like, what's going on? He's taking quite a shit in there. Maybe he's taking two. And he comes out

soaked in sweat. Yeah. I said, what are you, not feeling good? No, I dropped, you know, the little toilet paper thing on outhouses. The spindle? Yeah, you know that plastic cover? Okay, yeah. The like gray? The gray cover? The gray plastic that's bolted to the plastic side of the- That's a big piece of plastic.

Right. But you know how it exists, right? Sure. Okay. He goes, yeah, I took out my bag of cocaine and I dropped it and it flipped and went between the- The porta potty walls? The porta potty wall and the toilet paper holding plastic thing

Like that that tiny gap where they're bolted together and it was The whole time I was in there fucking prying it open with a screwdriver I go in there sure it's like it's like ripped out of the wall, and I'm like okay, but it was coke. That's fine cigarettes No, I was in there for an hour trying to get my cigarettes. No You know what he might have had some meth in the cigarette pack. Maybe that's what it was Maybe that's why I was so freaking out. I gotta get my my my My cigarettes man. My jelly beans man either in your glove box man. Looking back I go Maybe it wasn't just cigarettes in that Marlboro container.

We solved the mystery. Yeah, might have been more shit in there. He brought his friend over to share cigarettes with. Yeah, my cigarette friend is here. We're gonna go smoke cigarettes. Cigarettes in that guy's car? Why don't you go ahead and get in there? Ehh, well, hopefully he's doing well.

Trump straightened him right up. Hopefully he's doing well. Trump straightened him right up. I'll just say who, he was selling hot sauce last time I saw. Mike the Homeless Chef was his brand. And I'm like, well if you're homeless where do you make the hot sauce? And he sent me a bunch of hot sauce, but the labels were like just printed out on like inkjet paper, and I was like Man, I don't know if I can trust this hot sauce you made in like a meth fucking van or some shit Like how did you make hot sauce? I don't know if I trust this being like you know FDA approved in any way Is it just like vinegar? It's just bottles of goo with a inkjet label printer on it He said hey

Can you tell everyone to buy hot sauce from the homeless chef? And I said, no, I'll get to that at some point. So I guess today, this is me two years later going, if you want hot sauce from a homeless guy, look up the homeless chef. Okay. Mike the homeless chef. I don't know. Okay.

See how he's doing. That's not it. Hold on, go down. Mic- Did I say Mike or make Mike? You got it. Chef of the Shelters. Well, I have no idea what his fucking branding is anymore. Pfffff...

Hot sauce, let me try that. What did he used to call himself? He called himself Weird Mike. And I think it was tattooed on his neck. Okay. Weird Mike, the homeless... There he was! Chef!

Weird Mike, the homeless chef. Okay. Los Angeles! Is he on TikTok now? What is this? Is this him? No, that's not it. That's Chicago.

I can find Chef Mike. The Homeless Man Mike? This is his YouTube. Chef Mike, okay. What happened to Mike the Homeless Man? Yeah, but that could be any Mike the Homeless Man. Could be any Mike. This is his...

Mike is also the inventor of the infinity shoes. Okay, Weird Mike is still... Well, he's playing Warframe, so he must be in a house now. Batch two is ready of his uh, okay Here's how he makes the hot sauce a year ago. Everyone. My name is chef Mike You're a small batch hot sauce is located in Los Angeles, California All of my hot sauces are like take that money and pay to fix my cloth box

I'm gonna be made out of your fucking hands and they don't contain any additives or added sugars waters or oils Only using the needed ingredients to make my sauces. Everything is fresh and nothing is from concentrate. I do my best to make sure that all the ingredients are- Alright, you did him dirty. This is a perfectly fine hot sauce. I don't know! Just shut up in my fucking house! You're making it sound like it's like gross, but this is all- it's kosher ingredients and stuff.

I still am not 100% sure. Look at that! That looks great! You are making it You're big league in this guy another example of you big league in The homeless chef dot org dot org. He's got a dot org. He's an organization. I like weird. Look, I still like weird Mike I don't like that. He came over to my house and he couched up my glove box. Okay, that's all I'm saying Friends man. I'm trying to promote. I'm promoting it I don't know if you can still get his hot sauce or not, but if you can, go get some.

Let's see, the homeless chef- The homelesschef.org, maybe he's still doing it. Today's episode, the homelesschef.org. So is he homeless or not? Okay, well that's- Okay. I think it's over. The homelesschef.org.

The homelesschef.org. Maybe he moved it or he doesn't- And it doesn't exist. Okay. All right. So he gave up on that venture. Yeah Well, he's making money other ways. I'm sure Alright, that's the show. Follow weird Mike on YouTube. What was his YouTube? I guess he didn't have any content No, he had new stuff. He's playing Warframe now. Oh, yeah. That's what I really want to see from a chef I don't know where you put it

Weird Mike rocks on YouTube Okay, my problems are sore losers. Yes. We hate them You never gonna stop never gonna stop crying about this shit. Are you idiots? They're those fucking idiots and never gonna stop calling us racist trying to take shit away Never gonna stop and what was the other one that you had just now? Slowpoke slowpoke motorcycle guys is guys who break up a fight when it's about to get good. And fake fans.

Fake fans, okay. Do not like them. They're no good. I gotta work on my- How long do you keep this going? What are you talking about? How long can you keep supporting Trump? Forever. He's my lord and savior.

You've been supporting him for longer than Nick Fuentes at this point. I love, I just love Trump and I love America. We got some voicemails here. My boss will have his wife and newborn child in our repair shop. We fix our computers and stuff. And they talk like babies the whole time. He'll be sitting in our lobby for six plus hours,

and all I hear is, oh honey, can I please get some ice cream from next door? Can you please go get me a burrito? Meanwhile, their two week old child is screaming. It drives away every customer, and I lose out on like $50 of commission every time she walks through that door I cannot please get a simple we don't Somebody called the wrong voicemail and said that

We were hurting his wife's feelings during that bit. I'm sorry Don't be sorry. That's annoying. Yeah Sorry necessarily. I'm sorry do that. I'm sorry that you played it in front of her That's what I meant is that we did not we should give a wife warning on episodes Be like I mean we should put it on every episode dump don't listen to this in front of any women ever This is not the show Stop telling you stop telling your wives girlfriends. There's this fun podcast. I listen to it in the car Yeah, my name is Shonda the one time Vito took me to a pizza parlor for a date

He's like really nice. So I went back to his his apartment and It's like his dad. I'm wearing a pillow Yes pillow. I just use a boy good What the fuck are you talking about and so he could have got way that night, but he doesn't have any fucking pillows so Vito get some pillows Specifically have pillows only if a girl is sleeping over and I leave the pillows the sale in the wrapper like a condom from junior They're in the closet I just leave them in there and if girl comes over here you want a pillow

Like I did that whole girl voice. Yeah, not very good 30 seconds It's not all right great work good work. We love the fans Hey guys, the biggest problems in the universe are cold opens and shows that used to be an hour long that are now three hours long. I love the show guys, but trim it down a little bit. Fuck.

Bye. Wow. You were saying something about the fans? I get a lot of people going, I'm so glad the show is longer. You know what, I fucking hate you guys. None of you guys agree on anything. Half of you guys go, man, the show's too long.

And half of you go, I wish it was longer. No one's ever just happy. We should have described what you were wearing at the beginning of the show for the people listening. I'm wearing my Trump apparel that I love. I have a similar set of apparel. Well I mean I'm just gonna wear this forever I'm just gonna get a hundred of these. Hmm. That's my new

thing. Okay. I'm just American. Yeah I'm just the American guy. It's a good look. Hello Dick and Vito. Hi. I have the biggest problem in the universe. No very full of them. And that is when you make a fool of yourself because words that you have heard your entire life and you know what it is you've never seen written and then when you go to get couscous mac and cheese bites at a restaurant with all of your co-workers and you read it off the menu you pronounce it cautious Who the fuck would spell couscous like that Jesus Christ house Oh, that's the biggest problem in the universe. Sorry. What did you call? How much of all of your co-workers when you read it off the menu you pronounce it cautious

Cowshish? Cowshish? How'd you even get to that? Cowshish? Couscous is two words with a hyphen between them right? It's identical. Yeah couscous Yeah there oh Cowshies, okay how to cook cautious. It does kind of look like I see it. I see it then Why did you order cautious? Why did you order it if you have no idea what it is? Well, he likes mac and cheese he knew that just stick to the words You know then I'll have the mac and cheese feel like I've done somebody has done this Everybody's done. Everyone's done this but and then when you see somebody else do it you pretend like you never did you want to know what?

a fucking stupid thing the one that has stuck with me my whole life is uh There was this cool older kid right and I was like trying to cool them and like oh you like Sonic He's like yeah, I love Sonic. I'm like yeah, I love Sonic I've never got the emeralds you're gonna think well you're gonna think is I'm making this up because it is about the emeralds I said it's just so hard to get those chaos emeralds And he said bro, what the fuck is a chaos emerald and like the chaos emeralds, you know the Chahos Emeralds he's like you mean the Chaos Emeralds and I went AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I was like 10 years old and I was so blown out I was so in the crystal for weeks I went why the fuck did you say Chahos Emerald in front of that cool kid you guys could have been friends we could have jumped our bikes over shit fuck And I really dumped that potential friendship. No one's gonna hang out with a kid. He's chasing the chaos emeralds That's why that's why you never got him

That's why I never got him. I was so ashamed. I just wanna play Mario anyway. I don't even care about the fucking emeralds Yeah, you got like a yips situation going on the What is cautious cautious? Right cautious? Macaroni and cheese the cautious macaroni and cheese. Thank you. It's French everyone See I remember couscous cuz I remember The Alvin and the shit monks movie right before they do the best song in the movie. Oh, that's why you know about this food? They rip. What's the fat one? Alvin, Simon, Simon. No, Theodore is the fat one. Yeah. Alvin's the fat one.

Theodore gets ripped away from a street vendor. He goes, my couscous. And that was the first time I ever heard that. When did that movie come out? Oh, God, I don't know, but that was one of my favorites. I love that movie. OK. It's got good music in it, man. It's one of my favorites. I love that movie. Uh, okay.

It's got good music in it, man. Diamond, Diamond Dolls from the Chipmunks soundtrack. Listen to it right now. You're gonna love it. Vito, you missed the subtext of my problem from my call last week about announcing things too early. I was talking about Super Kill you dumb fuck. Okay. Thanks for clarifying. I understand. Thank you. Good shit. You were

saying about the fans that you love them. I just thanked him for clarifying. I live when they give us extra insight. Okay. Here's one. Vito, you better get that comic out soon or else you're going in a fucking crystal. Well, thankfully, you know, I'm gonna, Trump's tariffs are gonna make it easier than ever. Yeah. Print domestically. Yeah. We're gonna have a real good time.

Okay, last one. Hey, Jack, hey, Vito. The biggest problem in the universe are the really shitty jokes that every boomer passes along, whether over text message, email or social media. Got a text from father and grandfather with this fucking joke It's been going around since the election. Oh I walked into Barnes and Noble and asked the clerk If they have the book by Donald Trump on deporting illegal immigrants

And the cashier said get the fuck out of here and stay out and I said, yep, that's the one Do you have in paperback boom you hear that joke there's a hardcover version of that book you're gonna see a lot of those every other boomer in my family real quick messages me start doing the hardcover would be too they wouldn't have enough time to get it out before the election right doesn't make sense that would be the problem Yeah, go vote on all the problems at biggest problem comm bonus episode biggest problem elections at patreon.com slash You walked out again like everybody was wanting you know, I'm walking out. I'll be right back. All right

Let me load up the super chats if you've got negative super chats Have waited a little bit to send them before Here we go earn. I can't believe veto's I have waited a little bit to send them before. Here we go. Earn. I can't believe Vito's straightened his brains out. All it took was one little election.

What's the over under on him staying like that? I don't know. Zoom in. Get your super chats in. Get your superchats in! Get your superchats in! In Trump's America. Wow! Wow wow wow wow wow.

Okay. Here's a lot of stuff guys. Okay. Zeta Quincel. Total Trump victory. Get those crystals. Ready for two. Shitlips for five.

Take that women. Cardinal Cardinal for five. We love veto. Clommas for two, thanks for not keeling yourself. Coof, I saw you on Nick Krakato's show earlier, super chatting Patrick Melton. Petty for five, get a job wreckin'. Pigeon for five, may I get two, this time it's personal. Yes, it is. Shotgun orphan for two, thank you for not

coofing yourself, synthetic shinobi for two, thank you for not killing yourself. Synthetic shinobi for two. Thank you for not killing yourself. Synthetic shinobi for two. The biggest problem in the universe is educated people don't vote for Trump. Is that educated in quotes or is it in asterisks? The biggest problem is educated people don't vote for Trump or is it educated people don't vote for Trump. I can't see from this far away. Synthetic shinobi for ten. Pretending that the most educated people are Democrats is so farcical. Okay You needed more space to explain that one, huh

so farcical Pretending that the most educated people are Democrats so farcical I guess only Democrats understand the deeply intellectual humor and brick and Morty to yeah, I mean I Don't know man. It's just educated as like college degrees, but it's also art history degrees and shit. I don't think those correlate to intelligence really. I come buckets for five.

There was once a piggy who supported, whose policies were shitty and endorsed by P. Diddy. Now he owes me three f. Black Crimson for five. Thanks for all the snacks and thanks for not killing yourselves. Congrats to Dick on having to eat your book once again. Thank you. I suck men off for five.

I just love how Trump's only wins elections when it's to prevent a woman from becoming president. Yes, yes. Coup for 50. Thank you for not killing yourselves. I'm on vacation from sending thank you for not killing yourself messages to losers until after inauguration day. Vito's booty. You got it Antoids for five well Vito it looks like it's time

to forget about voter suppression and start worrying about appetite suppression. Oh that's a good one Antoids but he's not here. Antoids for five what does he how long does it take you to piss? Antoids for five type 1 diabetes has a higher than 50 percent morbidity rate among women over 70. Sayonara. Sayonara, Soda Maior. Yeah, Frank Lucas for two. Remember everyone to hit the thumbs up every time. Cameron for five, did you vote for Trump veto or is this another undelivered promise?

Oh, you got food too. What is this? Dick. I don't have to eat my book if that's what this is. As we all know, You wrote a certain book called Men Are Better Than Women. Yeah. And in that book, You promised that if a woman was elected president...

It red-pilled. Nick Fuentes told me it red-pilled him. It saved his life. And then he got 70 million views on your body my choice video and I thought You've met a lot of people very knowledgeable and very rich. Yeah Created a lot of created Andrew Tate Famously created Nick Fuentes. Uh-huh done a lot for people. Uh-huh. Now thankfully for you a Woman is not president. So you do not have to eat your book.

But in a way I feel, you know, there's people out there who are probably disappointed to know that you're not gonna eat your book. Yeah, I'm not eating my book. What did you do? You're not gonna eat your book today. But I did want to give you a present This is something I have lovingly created. Okay, and I want to I want to say this is a perfect one-to-one

Recreation of your book men are better Ha ha ha! That looks like shit! Why is it all fucking... Why is it all mushed over? Because it fucking melted, okay? But this is a delightful cheesecake featuring a perfect representation of your book. If you turn it on the side, it looks like a crazy guy. That looks like his glasses, the blue.

You can clearly see the blue guy, the little great sign. And I promise you at one point this did say dick Masterson Took a picture before it got to this point this is like the most over over Overestimating your talents that this was my fatal flaw is believing that I knew how to decorate dessert But I want to say I got pretty close I think you can definitely you can definitely see the man there the lady and

I'll say why don't I that's like the nailed it show why don't I? Eat you would you like a bite of your book not with the same fork well now you eat it I don't have to eat shit. You don't have to eat it So I will be the one to eat dicks buck Manor, but look at that perfect twisted my arm perfect recreation there There we go. Why is it all slumped over like that? It's fucking it's like a fucking frozen cheesecake and I thought it wrong How come you didn't get like Decorating stuff that doesn't run all over the place? I don't think you're supposed to decorate cheesecakes.

Well, not like that you're not. So there you go. A book has been eaten. Oh man, can you imagine how sad I would be right now? It's actually pretty good. You should have some of that. Yeah, maybe. It's a Sara Lee cheesecake.

Anyway. That's my bit. Yeah, it's It's a Sara Lee cheesecake. Anyway, that's my bit. Yeah, it's a good bit. You eating cheesecake is your bit? I should come up with more bits where I just- alright here's another bit that I've got. Here's another beat that I've got. Remember around this one. Remember? Remember how Nick got arrested for cocaine? Here's a powdered sugar donut that I'm gonna eat. I'm gonna eat it. Look at this. See, I'm Nick. Cameron for five. Did you vote for Trump veto or is this another undelivered promise? Of course I voted for Trump. Come on. Can you prove it? Yeah. How? Line detector test. Hook me up.

Okay. Hook my bones up. Hey, Dick, ask me if I love America. Do you love America? I fucking love America. Hippie Terrace for five, bro. Last week Vito was so confident Trump was gonna lose, but he even won the popular vote. Whoa, when was I so confident Trump was gonna lose? Man, there was a lot of confident people that Trump was gonna lose. I was not confident. I know you've been like reposting that I took a bet on Kamala that I exited immediately. That was funny. The odds were 60 40.

I was like, I don't know. This seems like good odds and you can exit the bet whenever you want. Now I was posting when you said that the bet is if you will win every swing state. Yeah. And you said to bet, you said to bet against that because all he has to do is lose one swing state and he didn't lose any. Still good odds they were given, man. It's funny though. Because you're like, you should do this, and then the opposite happened.

A bet is not- when you say, hey this looks like a good bet, you're not saying it's a 100% sure thing. I should have brought in that problem. I bet on the red socks. Oh, what are you retarded? They lost! Okay, what if they didn't lose? Nah, because you framed it like, oh this is an obvious one. This is a no-brainer. It's free money. I think you said free money! I don't think I said free money. I think you did say free money. Let me find it. But did you make that bet? No, cuz I can't bet on Polymarket, sadly. Oh, okay, but would you have?

Yeah. Yeah. Again though, you can sell- This is what he said. If you live outside the US and can bet on poly market, you should really consider this particular line. Really consider? It doesn't say you should definitely fucking bet, it's a surefire bet! But it's like, you should really consider this. It's like you're- this is like an investment strategy that you're proposing. As long as Trump loses a single swing state, you can make 30 cents on the dollar. I think it was genuinely surprising that that was the line being offered. That's a bad line. Yeah.

Whatever, man. You can't win every bet you make. I'll tell you this, you were like goofing on all my bets. How much Palantir did you buy? How much did you sell? 150 sh- wait. Did you buy how much did you sell? 150 wait From my from my peak I've sold 250 shares What's that like 50 grand 250 no no well wait how much is that valued at well now?

It's $50 a share so what's 250 times 50 no one knows 25 times 5 is 12,500. But not all of that is profit. I'm surprised you sold Palantir right before they became the CIA completely. Well, it shot up real quick. I was like, I didn't know it was going to keep keep going man. Now that Palantir controls the whole world I would think that would be the time to get it like alright. Maybe I'll check this out. All I know is uh Stock market's going fucking nuts. Let's keep it going baby. Trump's America

This super chat must be read by Dick and with much gusto. We love veto The guy got me fine. Benoxys for nine Canadian did the same thing and Plumbo for ten Canadian said the same thing. Cardinal Cardinal for five also wants you to say we love veto. Thank you guys. That's the veto files there. Antoine's five biggest problem is women taking too long to get ready if Kamala had simply announced on time 18 months ago. She definitely would have won. Diamond G Diamond G for five, what happens first? Trump gets inaugurated at the 47th President of the United States, Revetos, Deadpool and Wolverine ripoff gets released. Oh, Trump first. I think it's gonna coincide.

I'm gonna, you know what, maybe I'll save the comic release date for Trump's inauguration, so two great things can happen at once. You're not gonna get it out before St. Patrick's Day. When's St. Patrick's Day? March 17th. I'm feeling good about it. Massachusetts Man for a hundred dollars. Thank you Massachusetts Man. Snarky Sparky for five all charged up on leftist years for another four years here to celebrate Destiny's stream has been a funeral since his clusterfuck of an election night stream. Don't abbreviate

Pay the money for say cluster F Kicks mechanic for 10 haven't donated in a while busy with work. I still listen every weekend slash Monday My work is a lot of chucking. I hate it when my manager starts pounding me chucking X in my ass. It's held a shitty I agree a big swing in rich for wow 4547 It's held a shitty. I agree a big swing and rich for Wow 45 47 numbers of Buddy on the board Biggest problem universe of Trump only gets two terms. No, no, no, no, we're getting rid of time limits. No fucking way We're getting and voting machine slash bolt for 20. Sorry auto addicts closed today 20 sorry auto addicts closed today. Diamond G for 247 Trump to revise section 230 freedom rings. Tesso for five how many boys room tampons are necessary to deal with the red wave. J

Rob detailing Ireland for five year olds been a good week. Cheers boys. Cheers to you in Ireland. Diamond G for 247 Vito lets vape Jimmy Kimmel's tears. What a baby bitch. The crying has to stop. The crying has to stop. The crying has to stop. Because he's going to jail for being a child molester at Diddy's parties. No. That's why he's crying. No other reason. There's no other explanation for why a man would cry on television. Jimmy's one of the good ones.

Case man for two. Dick voted for this. It's true. This is all on you. Brits man for two. From the room to the sit- No. We're not doing this. Brits man for two from the room to sit now yeah again to Trump one woman lost comic not out yet no you know I have arguments with black guys about what Caesar Chavez would have wanted like yeah see you Chavez wanted to get the illegal out too because they fuck up with wages yeah what you talking about we mean what am I talking about who the fuck are you talking about? What do you mean what am I talking about? Who the fuck are you? Wait, did Cesar Chavez? Yeah, but... Cesar Chavez illegally paid for his own border patrol force to kick illegal Mexicans out

of the country. Illegally. Like Cartman. Rounding them up and booting them out. Good. That's fun. I do think we're going to see what happens with immigration. It's going to be an uphill battle.

Based Retard for Five, another glorious show free from gay leprechauns, calling in, hashtag Free Riley. Guys, go to FreeRiley.fund, currently heading to Texas. Riley's having a get together in Dallas on the 14th. I don't know what they're doing, but it's probably illegal. Clubiverse meetup, 14th of this month. Yeah, like next week. That's when his trial is. He needs support to stay out of jail.

I think he posted that to his... Fuck, Eric, July over! YouTube channel so you can find out where that's gonna be. Or Twitter? I don't know where he posted it. I don't know. Regardless, go to freeriley.fund to help Riley out. But with the Cylon for 24 years of King Trump and 8 years of God Emperor Vance, I can't believe Dick made this happen by messing with that Democrat ad

Yep, I have no choice but to resubscribe on patreon as a thank you handsmaids tale is finally here Kamala's in the hole, 20 million bucks and we're part of that hole We're part of that hole. 500 bucks of that hole, bitch no refunds Team Guy Vito for five shout out to my cousin just completed basic training private Lee Ice wall Uh, uh, uh. Teamguyvito for five. Shout out to my cousin who just completed basic training. Private Lee I swallow. OK, Lee. Private Lee I swallow come. Wow.

There you go. That's a good one. That's pretty good. Kevin Flesher for two says, you must be fair to Vito. Trump won. Nice try. UtahBaserMeaner for five. Hey, Dick.

Congratulations on no longer being Latinx. Vito, you're officially losing Teamguyvito from now on. Enjoy your. Utah baser meeting for 5.8 dick. Congratulations on no longer being Latinx. Veto, you're officially losing team guy veto from now on. Enjoy your last two front. I don't understand. Yeah, veto. How am I a team guy if I'm on the same team and have always been on the same team? It doesn't make any sense.

Johnny Rocker 5, we did it. We won. We won. Peace for five. Four years of pain starts now, veto. Exactly. For those libtard cucks were taking them down CG for a huge hundred dollars on the board in honor of Trump's dominating two women

You know should have to eat dicks Oh wait, I got this present somebody sent it okay. I hope it's more cake Eatable in any way. Oh shit I threw away who it was from. No look at that. It's a painting of Vito that says we like jokes question mark. It says merch. Ask me about my merch. It's pretty cool. Alright let me see who, they didn't sign it. They didn't sign it? They didn't leave a letter? No. They threw away the package. Well guys don't forget all, biggest problem the universe of Irish is available at killdozer.industries and tonight in one hour I will be live as part of the whatnot card show extravaganza. Chance. I don't know if they want me to say their

whole name. Chance. I think I know that guy. Oh you do? I think so? so chance well you don't know if we can say his name but thank you regardless cool I love for this beautiful fat gay pig eating pizza yeah it says fat fat fat gay gay gay behind it and I think though if you look at the little button it's one of those pedophile swirls so that's just on brand what the fuck you really have no depth perception with... What do you mean? One eye. Oh, yeah, you have. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha That can go on your side. I'll find some room for that. Feel free to send some stuff from my side, which is also just Dix garbage. Well, we did eat Dix of a book, so there you go.

I think that's the way to handle that. Well, again, in four years though, we'll see. Alright, this is taking forever. Stratergery for five. Imagine thinking five bucks gets you enough characters to set up your joke with an obvious punchline. When he tried to deliver that punchline, it... He lost it. Azuka Menzoff for two. Welcome to the biggest problem with audio 163.

Dominic for two. MAGA superiority. Reidy Tidy for five. Switch real fast to it. All hail our Lord and Savior Trump. Jared for five. Celebrating Trump's win by unaliving taco and basket... Okay, well, we're not doing...

Oh, in Call of Duty, he's gonna deal with them. Okay, well, that's... Cool. Sliding under the radar. Guys, he hasn't deal with them. Okay well that's sliding under the radar. Guys he hasn't taken over yet you gotta wait a couple... Now he already ended all the wars. He hasn't taken over YouTube yet that's what you gotta wait on. Shit Blaster 69, 100 for five what part of TROJEC 2025 are you most looking forward to? All the winning. Not a hippopotamus for five Vito didn't vote

for this you need to refund the super chat Vito needs to be brought to hell and shilled for Trump. I'm right here, baby. Let's do it. JihadBot for two. HoesMad. MyCunt for two. CLGBT is an underrated joke. Thanks.

That's a joke. LJCloborino for five. Do you think Biden voted for Trump after his party replaced him for Kamala? Yes. SegaGenesis for five. I'm just glad that my best friend Vito is having a good time.

Having a great time. TheJerryandCoke for five. I'm just glad that my best friend Vito is having a good time. The Jerriam Coke for five. Nice shirt, Vito. Mr. Poop and Snorkel. What does that say? Yeah, for two. Love you, Vietz, even though Richard is a weiner and an auger. Diamond G for 250.

Maga Vito is king. Righty tighty for two. All Magas are king. More for Vito. Thanks for waking up. Yeah, thanks for waking up. I'm awake and I'm alive at the center of the universe. For 5. Return coat Vito. A2 Vito. Always with the knife in the back.

What are you talking about? I hope Akam gets PTSD from the murder. You gotta talk to that guy you went on that... what's that guy you fought with? Hutch? Yeah, you gotta talk to Hutch! He's coping big time. He's now... they're about resisting now. Oh, we're in the resist portion. Yeah. Well guys, this election is so important to young people.

Doc Doom, 85 for 2, Veto Redemption arc begins now. Dr. Polish for 5, 1000 year Trump dynasty, 1000 year Veto co-host dynasty. Bald Max for a big 20 on the board. This is for Veto awesome shirt This is before they saw the hat welcome to the party you magnificent man Awesome show star captain cheese for five videos not even in office yet and he already unfried vetoes brain We might even get super killer this decade Peeves 9-eleven for five you know welcome to the fun side where we be done do nothing but win win win That's right. Tortoise for five nice drip veto You will be accepted into our Gartha the Vril saucersucers on the way, the A10 beauties await you.

Charles Baker for two, says Horace Ronald's stripes make you look fat. Maloyk for five, Mr. Master's in only voted for Trump, so he wouldn't be forced to work his part time as a fruit picker and lifeguard. Latino men saved America. Maha! Have you seen the chart? Have you seen the graph? Yeah. Oh! It's a bunch of little red trees. Everybody went down.

No, no, the one, the race one specifically. I haven't seen the, I think I saw it in passing. Oh, dude. Every demo went down except for Latino men, which shot up in the swing states. Am I allowed, like, am I allowed to say why? Like, when do I get to say why? What do you mean? You're allowed to say why! Me? Yeah.

Because Latinos and black people are like mortal enemies. What do you mean? Sure. That's a big part of it. What's your, what are you mean? You're allowed to say why. Me? Yeah. Because Latinos and black people are like mortal enemies. What do you mean? Sure, that's a big part of it. What's your what are you saying? What? There's been a lot of gay stuff going on. Oh, they don't like gay stuff cuz they're Catholic. Yeah. Oh, you mean abortion wasn't enough? You think it was gay shit? You don't think the fucking the constant abortion talk was a problem for them? That's a problem too. Yeah, that's a big fucking problem for them.

Yeah. And the gay stuff. The gay stuff's a huge problem for them. Nah, the gay, no, no, no, they don't give a shit about gay stuff. All right. They all, cause they all, they have so many brothers and sisters, at least two of them are gay. That's every Latino family.

Yeah, but they're Latino gay. They're like not fucking fisting in the street. Like I saw a picture of a fucking, yeah. They're not white gay. Yeah, white gays are getting way too... Okay, it's like guys you got everything you want! But now we want to do more shit. No!

Just take the win! The Latinos that care about gay shit definitely care about abortion. Yeah. No, I agree. I think it's mostly the money. They're just tired of... They want money. Kamala's messaging was moronic Latinos like to work That's why white people don't understand that minority because they we like doing crimes, but we also like working

Here's a big part of it. Everybody goes man. Everything's unaffordable. I can't get anything gas Groceries, whatever the fuck. Yeah, all it goes. Yeah, those groceries They go right. That was one of the the fuck yeah probably goes yeah those groceries they go right that was one of the things it's also the gas and the housing the what she's like those fucking groceries groceries guys I'm gonna the groceries we're taking care of the groceries and they're like well that's like that's not just say you're part of it dude it's it was terrible messaging the malware for to the ultra protected account Patriot veto captain of obscurity for 10 worry Veto, you won't fit in the crystal.

I don't need to go in the crystal cuz Manga people don't go in the crystal. Mike Hunt for five, every problem, from voting to P, no, from trying to P through interaction, to Trump winning his third election. Team guy Veto for two, that was a good rhyme. Team guy Veto for two had to add 87 new states to the flag for his shirt Yeah, I have a million extra This is actually a flag this was one of the big ones from the flag Vito has every state that has ever existed on earth there you go that flag Tesso for five come on when the results came in

Oh hell no Scar for five imagine the views this would have if you didn't have a 24-hour stream. Okay, whatever weaponized autism for fire What does that say? He says if we didn't have a 24-hour stream It's great up the whole channel We know weaponized autism five forcing veto to say for Christ is king forcing I'll say it all day. I love Jesus I love baby Jesus. I love big Jesus. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, not silly shit I'm not being silly. You said, I love baby Jesus and big Jesus. That's not, Jesus isn't like the Stig.

What do you mean? He became big Jesus. No, no, no, no, no. That's how I, when I think of Jesus in my heart. Jesus Christ, you have to say. You can't just say Jesus like he's a Mexican. You gotta say Jesus Christ. Have you seen that statue of Jesus?

Okay, the big one? Christ. Big old Jesus. That's the official name of the? Okay, the big one? Christ. Big old Jesus. That's the official name of the fucking, the big Jesus with the hands. No, no, no, no, no, no. He's getting sucked into the crystal right now! Big country.

It's fucking it up! I'm gonna make a big statue outside my house. It's gonna be Jesus in a cowboy hat. Big country Jesus, cause that's the Jesus I think of in my heart. And why did Jesus sacrifice himself? To make Trump president. No.

To absolve us of our sins, Vito. Right. The tomb was empty. Right. He rolled the rock away. He rolled the rock away. He rolled the rock away. Which must have seemed like a big deal back then.

They're like, dude, that rock. My god, that rock. That rock was really fucking big. That was the biggest rock. I've seen big rocks. I swear that rock. That was the biggest rock. I've seen big rocks where that was the biggest fucking rock. I've ever seen and I Asked me if I could roll that rock away Way, I couldn't roll away. There's no way you couldn't do it Why he did that there's no fucking way and then there was a lady There was a lady he came out and he looked at her and he winked and they soared into heaven was he just not dead

Yeah, they stabbed him and he didn't die. He's eternal Now I mean today like what really happened. I'm saying they put the guy in the cross What really happened to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ? He died and was resurrected on the fucking I'm in the crystal. Yeah now you're in the fucking crystal. What are you talking about? He died and was reborn. What really happened though? Bro, you are not gonna survive in Trump's America

asking questions like that. Nah, I'm a libertarian, they need my vote. I can do whatever I want. Alright. Your grandfathered in. Base retard 5, it was half right about the blanket thing. One pillow is never enough, two always to always too much pillow with a blanket underneath

That's a combo Oglovitch for five what does it called a prayer look like now that veto is an apostate to the one true religion pork be upon Him I can eat all the pork. I want LJ clobbering over five American veto ultra patriot veto always with the red white and blue Azuic men off for two I love Veto, always with the red, white and blue. Azuach Manoff for two. I love all of the non- Always with the red, white and blue. Always with the red, white and blue.

Ultra Patriot Veto, always with the red, white and blue. I love all the non-Jewish Americans. Wait, who said that? I think I said that. Oh, you said that? I love all the non-Jewish Americans. I love all the Jewish Americans too. Israel is our greatest strength.

ISO for five. When the Don's- Wait, you know, Israel's our greatest strength. I saw for five when the Don's wait Do we like Israel or not Trump's guy as Trump guys? Kind of mixed yet. It's me. It's very mixed. It's mixed. I felt like I gotta say it We like that we do stuff. Yeah, but then it's like hey, we're in charge Hey, I'm I'm not we're not doing any more genocide over here Yeah, in case you were wondering look I don't want to end up in a crystal so whatever the whatever the party line is on Israel I'll walk it and then Trump he removed like the Jewish

Attaché for Lebanon and put like a Lebanese guy in there something like oh pushing some buttons already All right, so in sk's losing all his money. Oh, they're gonna chop his head off. ISO for five. When the dawn's secret police come for Vito, I'll hide him in my attic if he finishes the comic up there. Also, I sleep with three pillows.

Well, that's insane. Sarcastic for five. Says, Vito voted for this. Soklovich for two. Thanks for the Pokemon. Thanks for Pokemon going to the polls, everybody. Vito the wig for 20. God bless Maga Vito. Welcome to the team, Guy Vito the wig for 20. God bless Magavito.

Welcome to the team guy, Vito. Utah based Armenian for five. Last time Vito wore this outfit, he was riding a rascal scooter around Disneyland. No, you can't wear this to Disneyland, they'll kick you out. Joe Cool for five. Women on strike, good thing Vito only likes trune women.

Well, now that Trump's president. He says there's no more. Yeah. They're just guys now. Now they're just guys. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA He said it! I mean he made a whole video about it! You know how fucking funny that is? Well, to some people. Like, cause they're like, hey we're women, and everyone's like, okay.

Yeah, sure. And then Trav's like, okay. No you're not. He's like, actually, you're guys. Like, OHHHHH! You can't let him write that in an official station area of the u.s. I am gonna write an unofficial station is you are actually guys I'm a little worried like you know I have the female ID still so I'm on a list now

You know you're just being a you're very trans. They don't know that I'm the good kind of trans phobic All right go you are a bunch of adorable little tw twinks and I wish you the best of luck. You know. You got an HR meme? Yeah. Or is it like a guy like, hey, and she's like, oh aren't you sweet? Yes, yes, yes.

You're like the guy like, hey aren't you an adorable little twink? Hello HR. Hello HR. Yeah, I should have just said, and you're a beautiful lady. Ofafugaga for five, great to to see video in a clean shirt first time Two weeks, that's correct. So Terjury for five. Here's five bucks for the fog machine Not enough to trigger it enough to get dick to look at it off-camera We need a price to your shoe. We need a list behind us of what you can pay for it's this one

fifty bucks Carl for fifty dollars veto the base team guy brought to you by the president-elect Donald J. Trump saving America since 2016 Dean shock for two. Thanks for the laughs boys trumps one cake on post for two I got an e-bike so I could drive drunk lol Vitos can for ten deep state Derek has been fully realized Cameron for two you don't deserve that hat fuck you you fucking traitor CG for five welcome to the team veto retell that Ashley Babbitt joke again What happened to that woman is a fucking travesty. Don't you ever joke about fucking Ashley Babbitt? Okay, those godless fucking liberals killed that ultra patriot and we're taking this country back

Fucking shit Cameron for two this conservative veto make comics. I make them and I shove them up your asshole You live turn I don't make comics. I make them and I shove them up your asshole. You libtard piece of shit. Deep service. In Brazil. For two. Nick said the toe ate his jism's batter-o-baby. Yeah, I did hear he said, uh... How did Aaron eat his cum? Like out of his wife? Out of his mouth. Oh, out of his mouth. He ate it. Oh, where did he eat it off of? Yeah, where did the cum... I don't know. Who knows where the cum was.

Like, did Nick cum in his wife and then Aaron ate out his wife? Which wife are you talking about? Well, he's got two. I mean, Aaron's wife? He said it! I didn't watch it! What did he say? He just said Aaron ate his cum! How did it happen? He didn't get into specifics, not really. Well, you can't tell me that a guy ate your cum and not expect me to be curious about what went down. Look, he's also said he was settling, or he was hoping to settle. Yeah. Oh man, and then he's gonna get out, and then he's gonna start talking. And then we're gonna hit a lot of details.

We're gonna hit a lot of details. Nelly! Charles Baker for two, Vito, what's your opinion on Ashley Babbitt, ultra patriot. She lit RIP in peace. That one guy, though though liberals supported forcing crimes, why's Trump being a felon on such an issue? Vito's tank, oh, with this TBF shit, some fucking little bull shit.

That one guy for two, tries to correct his spelling with a F slur. Cain to the Swiss for five, prepare the fucking crystals, lock them up. Peter Wagner for five, well, super killer two, find those 20 million votes. Next issue is super killer, he's gonna burst into the fucking White House,

shoot that Trader Biden in the fucking head, and we're taking back this fucking country, folks. That's it. Superkiller more like MAGA mayhem. Napa chicks for five. First time catching a live show at 10 p.m. on the East Coast. Annoying you think I have nowhere to be. Trying it again with this TBF fucking limp dick bullshit

Rusty Shalkeford for 10 slowpoke motorcycles fuck me over this week I almost killed himself cut me off no signal under the fucking speed limit. Yeah, fuck him voted up I'm not fuck up that one guy for five I like I'll be just trying to add in some racist shit on purpose because he has the maggot shit on yet It's more tame than what he usually says Surprised by veto second channel not being total trash despite his stupid name like Vito2. Oh, be fairly consistent. They're really trying tonight.

I might subscribe. StuK4-2, Vito is totally banging the screwdriver guy. No! Shoebox Kingdom 4-5, first Super Chat because I'm a cheapskate. Just wanted Vito to know that he looks good in that hat. Well, I look forward to seeing a lot of MAGA hats coming out. I'm gonna have to get a... Please send into the seeing a lot of MAGA hats coming up. I'm gonna have to get a... Please send into the show a variety of MAGA hats.

Only real ones though. Fuck this wig shit. I want some MAGA apparel. Shoebox King... Oh yeah, DavyDope for two, HailTrump, HailVictoria, JohnnyRocket for ten, Order Helephant off Indiegogo. She never forgets. Last Friday you can do so. You gotta go to Indiegogo. She never forgets. Last Friday you can do so. You gotta go to Indiegogo. Helephant on Indiegogo available from all caps comics. Guys

you're not gonna want to miss out on one of the most extreme Trump loving hard right far right kick-ass stories about a murder elephant kicking ass in the way our good God Trump would do. Zadakun Selver too, Veto always wins, total Veto victory. TVV. Ned Zeppelin for 10, hello fellow Chud Veto, can we get a Garbage Pail Kids, Democrat trading cards, great show boys. I know a guy who could make those, yes.

What? I have a guy who does Garbage Pail Kids cards. What do you mean? He has a line of cards called Day One Patch Kids, which are all Garbage Pail kids, but themed after video games. Oh! They're very cool, and he sells coloring books and trading cards and whatever else. Oh!

Peeves911 for 10. He made one of the super killer trading cards, which everyone will be getting when the comic never comes out. Oh, okay. From someone that's shat on you, Vito, you wearing a MAGA hat makes you a hundred times better than Maddox ever was. Fuck that F-slur, fucking Democrat piece of shit. Said he didn't vote for Kamala. I saw him in the vote booth, seeing if he could vote three, four times. He was going, oh, I hope she wins.

Oh, I hope she wins, cause I can't afford my rent no more, cause I ain't got no job. I don't have a job, exactly. I can get a job up in the Monal government door. My comfort too, I like the long shows, in fact, it should be longer. Joey Two-Tone for five. Dick, did you play my voicemail on the bonus episode? I'm not a Patreon, I like the long shows. In fact, it should be longer Joey to tone for five Dick did you play my voicemail on the bonus episode? I'm not a patron. I pirated last episode well Spider return over 250 little veto you grifter you you enjoy your tax-free money. Hell. Yeah. Oh, yeah Are these tax-free new clap trap the Detroit the destroyer for five Richard Masterson is my hero veto sometimes too

We have these tips interesting agnostic Ralph always so. I usually take all my tax advice from Ralph. So I'm assuming yes. You know what? It's interesting. Agnostic Guzami for two. Uzumaki. Pigade Plump is now the king. All right.

All right, let's get a couple more Super Chat boys here. Let's go. This is a whole brave new era. A brave new era. Where anything could happen. Let's go. This is a whole brave new era a brave new era Anything could happen. Christ and family. Anything could happen. I gotta plug in the fog machine. Don't I? Do you? I don't know Let's see here Zedekwinksel for two. Why's Balder always complaining and whining? Fucking piece of shit. Captain Cheese for two. Vito brings in a bit It's just him eating. Hey, I

brought in a number of bits today. Pinnable Man, but post pictures of a piano or something or gorilla. I don't fucking know. I come buckets for two another more free than Magas Vito nipples. There we go. Vokovic for two. We're making areolas. Great again. Mr. Cool Eyes for ten. This is my first time registering voting by registrations. That's how you know you're true Maga. Your nipples never get hard through any sort of you know anything Always soft and smooth It says I'm registered as a Democrat and I voted by mail in 2020 election. Isn't that funny? That's how they got us they fucking stole it, but they couldn't steal it this time 20 million votes, where did they go?

Ivor for $2.99 Australian any advice to help Sturgis get a girlfriend? Wash maybe. Yeah. Michael Winning says Christ is king! I deal Mexican for a big 20. What's deep state Derrick's view on gay Mexican pirates? Hey, listen, as Trump does, I love the LGB whatever the fuck community. CLGBT. Okay?

I love it. Yeah. Just calm down is all I can say Okl bitch do I matched with veto on grinder at the RNC Wow It's on rate Dersh for five veto plea or Trump Please bail out the rep of hers if you want to landslide 2026 vetoes cat for a hundred dollars. There's two words fog machine It's not warm it up yetbf for five veto stink particles involved in the only veto shower particles all right it's time it's time it's a special one tonight to be like God what fucking hammers ah it's a special one tonight I gotta move my phone and make sure you don't blow them to have Trump's fucking American.

Vito's booty. Vito's booty. Vito's booty. Vito's booty. Alright. Okay. What's it gonna be, DeepStateDerek? Now we have two characters now. Usually it's a straight man and the other one, but now it's no no it's out to straight

Well, listen, I finally it's two straight men on the show It's interesting to be interacting with this pirate individual. We really are Keno casino deep state Derek. I've never encountered a real Coming in well, I have no idea who this veto gentleman He loves toys. He's gonna get him a toy and get on the scale and celebrate Trump's America. Is he a liberal? Is he a liberal F-slur? Well, he's kind of hard to pin down. Kind of hard to pin down.

Well, I think that fat son of a bitch should suffer and see his toy smashed beneath the weight of your mighty hammer, pirate man. Are you sure? I don't fucking know. It's a good one. It's a good one. It's a good one. I think you're gonna want it. Alright, let's see. It's a big one. It's a good one. I think you're gonna want it. It's a big one.

It's a big one. Alright, let's weigh it out. Alright, he's gonna weigh it out. He's gonna weigh it out, folks. This hat adds 20 pounds. No, I know. We gotta keep that in mind for this one. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh week 296 last week this week are 298 five and point five lost a half a pound keep half a pound yes keep it going here's your toy I knew I know that

you're gonna like this one is it more absolutely no oh wow what the hell is that special really oh I don't like this at all. Oh no. Oh, it's from that basketball thing! Fuck! It's a lady from that basketball game. What is that? Oh my god.

Who sent it? How do they fucking make figures like this? This is a 12 year old girl. Oh, here. Here. Okay. Now let me see here vetoes booty callback thanks for not killing yourself again this is from rockaboo the exciting anime basketball game that I still think a bunch of black

people should dub because it would be the funniest thing ever and it's a it's a figurine of a little Animate child child it is a Well that'll that's going I don't know who that's good SS I knew that I knew that clip of me holding the cuties DVD was gonna make it somewhere I saw people passing around the thumbnail. So again, I'm gonna get hit by this. I'm sure Well, there we go well should I let you smash it or not Honestly, like the hammer is horrifying. I don't want you to break Honestly, like the hammer is horrifying. I don't want you to break Maybe I could put that there's probably not worth anything. I keep saying you're not gonna throw it away

No, that's now it's us now. It's show memorabilia. I got to send it to a fan If any of our fans are degenerate weirdos, and you want to rock a boat. Oh, I'll tell this how's this guys? We're gonna do a new contest. The contest is we need a new opening song for the show. Yeah, I will come up with the parameters, but the basic idea is it must be five minutes long. It should not have a... Not like six, like, it's gotta have time on both sides. Right, so there needs to be a little bit, it needs to be about six minutes, so there should be a little bit of leading time, a little bit of exit time, and five minutes of something.

Vamp for the last minute. Yes, a vamp for the last minute, okay? To open up the show, there will be prizes, we'll figure out what it is, maybe top three, somebody gets a t-shirt, maybe, if you want the lollipop, if you want a lolly figurine signed by me. That's the top prize. That's the top prize.

What if they don't want it signed by you? How about a Mother's Milk figure signed by me? I think all the fans want a Mother's Milk, a signed Mother's Milk. I have one in the box I can sign for you. So the winner will get a Mother's Milk signed by me and signed by Dick, hopefully. And we will set up a theme-

I'll sign that thing. So start thinking about it. Think about a nice little six minute thing that we could play before the show. Something that is- It has to be good. It has to be something that we could play before the show. Something that is- It has to be good. It has to be something that people will sit and listen to.

Remember that guy who sent in one that's just me screaming for like six minutes? And you're like, I don't like, I get it. It's funny, but no one's going to listen to that. Okay. So that's the contest. We'll post more updates. I'll post them on Twitter. I'll post them on the Patreon.

Again, patreon.com slash biggest problem. Vote on all the problems at biggest problem.show. Tonight guys, in 30 minutes, I will be live at whatnot.com slash biggest problem vote on all the problems that biggest problem that show tonight guys in 30 minutes I will be live at whatnot.com Slash user slash veto comedy. I have the new Pokemon set and I'm trying to sell as part of the big whatnot card stream So please come by Again whatnot comm slash invite slash veto comedy or if you already signed up whatnot comm slash users slash veto comedy Thanks to all our top supporters. God bless America God bless Donald J. Trump. If it's not all liberals were like you, but they're not

They're crying about it. They're saying racist things about Latinos Being stupid. The dirt. Okay, so there are dirtbag liberals, but they hate us. Okay, cuz we're the ones going I mean, you know Trump's gonna make the stock market go nuts. Yeah, for... Yeah, it's gonna be good for a while. It doesn't depend on just him. Literally, it does. He's putting interest rates at 2%.

He doesn't give a fuck. Well, I will ride that to ever new heights, and I'm very excited about it. StocktipVito sold all his solar stock because oh man that shit Solars no one's getting any fucking government subsidies any clean energy stocks you own Might be a good time to think about don't you know it might come back Boeing space is going not space The Boeing Boeing would be good. I don't know if there's any good space stocks right honestly Tesla I should have bought more I bought it about a little bit, but I Should have seen that coming. Here's the other thing that's interesting

I was talking about is you know everyone said Elon Musk was stupid for buying Twitter And I'm like he just made himself secret vice president. That's like the best investment of all time He's right next to Trump. Yeah, like him and Trump are gonna be buddies He's gonna get all sorts of incentives fire everybody you think he's gonna fire everybody at the government? Do I think Trump will fire everybody in the government? Elon. Elon. What did he say he's gonna make Elon in charge of specifically? Elon and Ron Paul. Ron Paul said he would be involved too. I think they're gonna cut a lot of... I mean the funniest thing, you've seen all the people going...

It's happening, Vito. They're gonna cut the Department of Education and all these women are like... Yeah, cut that shit. Wait, what about my autistic kids benefits? Like those are gone. What are you retarded? like your kid Will grandfather him in somehow, but that's not what they do Well, I think that's one of the big things they do a lot of money gets spent on that shit You know how easy it is to give autistic kids money

Yeah, it's pretty easy But we're gonna stop doing it We give them a lot. Let's just, uh, let's put it that way. Autistic kids? You don't know? Uh, yeah I do. That's not what the Department of Education does. I have an autistic half-brother and they gave that kid way too much money. No, that's fine. That kid gets infinite free shit. How much does he get? What does he get? Infinite free shit. He has like three, like, full-time tutors and shit to tell him to stop throwing like eating his own shit That's fine. It's just paying. That's just paying some chicks to do that paying babysitters, baby

Yeah, that's fine right now the government is paying for a lot of babysitters fine paying bureaucrats No, no we pay babysitters get him on fiber get over there We're gonna cut some pork as a man knows a lot about pork. I'm all in favor of it Pork as a man knows a lot about pork. I'm all in favor of it See that's the that's the thing as I go look I Want to see what happens yeah It's a lot up in the air lads all I know is our team won and that's what matters Okay, so glad to have been here with you. See you guys on whatnot. Come

buy some Pokemon cards, I got the new set. It's fun. Bye.