The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 167

Episode Date: December 7, 2024

of which we are sick. No, that's- Hahahaha! Yeah, okay, there we go! There we go! Switcheroo! Oh no. Uh, I like to do it like this.

Bop! Yeah, there it is. Bop! Switched! At least it's not like that one episode that starts with you going BOP! And then the timer restarts. You guys are fucking around with the opening.

I don't remember that one. Yeah, cause you don't rewatch the episodes. Do you? Sometimes. You say sometimes, like you got caught and you're lying and you do it all the opening. I don't remember that one. Yeah, because you don't rewatch the episodes. Do you? Sometimes. You say sometimes like you got caught and you're lying and you do it all the time. Well remember I check to make sure there's no weird audio issues because we're always having like weird audio problems. Because you're telling people that you're like sensitive to that now they're gonna gaslight you and fuck with you. No, no, no. Our show sounds great. It does sound great. We don't need an audio engineer. Nobody does I was gonna say What a week for a dick man. I said my god

She was oh man and I trade the baby for Sean. That's the question that All it feels like a trade It is one of those things were like You know like an old lady dies, and then you have a baby and everybody family goes Oh her spirit is probably in your baby, and you're like don't fucking say that well. Yeah, I want that I don't want an old lady in my yeah, I want Sean there well Sean I definitely want you what if I die I will haunt your baby to make sure it's raised right now Okay, so as long as I have one before you gotta get it out Yeah, I can only haunt it if I'm dead before the kid is born. I got a good 10. You got a good 10

Yeah Yeah, you got at least eight years before I kill over for my heart attack sounds weird. It says And now I need a trusted ally to tell me if they're lying or not well Well, if there's any problems, somebody will text or call Dick. What a week you had, my friend. You keep saying that. Well, cause it's real, it's like weird. Like even I felt it, you know? You felt what?

You know, and I don't give a shit about the Dick show at all. That show can burn in a fire for all I care, but no. I saw that tweet you deleted today where you said, sounds like you could use a trio, and then someone made fun of you for throwing your hat in the ring, and then you deleted your tweet. I don't wanna, you know, impose,

but, you know, maybe we'll talk about that at some point. Well, you know, you can always use a little veto. Everyone, no one liked that, and then tweet, quietly deleted. But I saw it, I wasn't gonna bring it up, but if you're gonna fucking get cute. I was trying to figure out the best way to make that joke, Everyone, no one liked that and then Tweet quietly deleted. But I saw it, I wasn't gonna bring it up, but if you're gonna fucking get cute. I was trying to figure out the best way to make that joke

and I realized it probably didn't come off as a joke, so. You know. We'll save it, don't worry. The guy who responded figured out the best way to make it a joke, I'll tell you that. We'll talk about that, we're gonna talk about that. But, you know, there is like a weird feeling in the air. Let me put up a poll to see who wants you on my-

Oh come on, not yet, not yet as a third chair. Should Vito be a- Well I mean if we famously remember- Start- do a poll, sure. You know what, I'm gonna save it for later in the show. No, fuck no. Cause I might have a problem. We'll talk about that. Okay, you ready?

I'm ready, yeah, let's do it. We have a live studio audience. Feel free to laugh if you want. I want to thank our guests for coming in all the way from Poland. Very excited to have them. It's quite based there, yes? Very based.

Are you guys doing any deporting? Wink, wink? Not enough? You've got to build the trains first, I know I know well I invited them in for the the fabulous in-studio experience And then forgot to tell dick they were coming so they showed up Dick was still in his boxer shorts. I went oh, yeah Oops I have not had a good day Yeah, and then as I'm trying to get ready for the show you're fucking talking to me about What are you asking me about up there?

I don't fucking know. Fucking, like, chicken and stuff, and like, local delicatessen. You know you can... I'm trying to fucking do stats. You know you have all day to prepare for the show. You don't have to prepare for the show 15 minutes beforehand. And then I have to awkwardly sit there silently because you're looking up stats. Just sit there. You don't have to be awkward. You just have to awkwardly sit there silently because you're looking upstairs You have to be awkward you just have to sit there

Why don't you just prep for the show before I get to your house? So then it's like you time when you're here No, I show up like 30 minutes for showtime and you'll oh, yeah that podcast that we have Cause then I realize what I had to talk about isn't funny I guess I should come up with some problems. I have stuff but then I'm like, nah, it's not funny I got it. I got to rethink about this okay. I think I like video games How about Palantir like you know those comics? I'm sorry when I come over to a guy's house

I try to have a discussion with him for the love of God you should guess you should be sorry about that I should be sorry that I'm trying to have a discussion with you. Yes, okay a free discussion From now on when we do the show I'll show up and I won't say anything to you until showtime you could and then all You know how many times I've gotten this threat. You know how many times I've gotten the threat of oh fine I'm not gonna say anything. Yeah, okay. Oh bring it on. Oh, please God be serious this time I'm much more petty and bitter while not as much as that one guy. As a woman, really. Okay, it's true All I'm saying is I come over I exchange a little bit of pleasantries. I'm sorry. You're not I'm sorry. You're not prepared for our show. I

Want to thank our guests who bought us a delicious Polish beer and a giant Polish cookie Which I will be eating slowly over the course of the show. What are the odds that that cookie gets eaten during the show? I'm not gonna... I will leave it until after the show. Are we putting bets? You don't gotta bet I'm not gonna eat a cookie. I already ate cheesecake on the show. I ate like one bit and everyone goes,

oh, Vito only did the bit so he could eat cake. I'm like, I was trying to be clever. Everyone thinks that. Not ever. I don't care anymore. You wanna do this stupid podcast? Can you hear that? I can't believe Vito interrupts me. I can hear Welcome to the biggest problem the universe the only show that ranks every problem in the universe

from controllers that stick to gay people making us sick that that rhyme I know that was my rhyme and I made that rhyme and I was like don't use that one but I guess you did use it so good good don't apologize for your comedy I'm your host Dick Madderson joining us or joining me as always is Vito Giswi. Hey, how's it going? Bad. Thinking about getting into audio engineering. What do you think? Oh, yeah? Yeah, yeah. I think you should finish one of your other projects first. Those are all pretty much done anyway. You have to buy a lot of stuff to do that. I'm sure you'd like that part of it. I do like buying stuff. That is true. Although right now I'm trying to sell. I gotta get rid of this crap. I'm drowning in crap. You gotta go on that Caleb Hammer show.

But like, my finances are not like I'm dying in debt, it's that I'm surrounded by trash that I keep buying. Yeah. You gotta go on that hoarder show. I could probably go on hoarders. Good shit hoarders. You should go on the hoarders where they have good stuff in the house, you know? I have good stuff in the house. You know I have good stuff. Yeah, okay The problem has been that I'm I have all these video game consoles I'm like alright I'm finally gonna sell them finally gonna sell them and then I'll be like oh But I don't have I need like eight Genesis AV cords and I need three power. I'm buying cords like crazy

I'm buying controllers, and then the controllers work, so I gotta open it up and try to fix it. Yeah I'm trying to get rid of some of this. I have some stuff to give you in the garage Good some consoles, and I'll take them I've been lugging those things around for like 10 years, but knowing that they'll go to you and make your life worse Makes me like get rid of them. I told you that I have fans who I go to my PO box I'm like oh no not again And then I open like one of those lockers, and it's like a Gameboy and a bunch of games I'm like, oh god, I'm drowning in this crap

Everyone should go to Yard sales and buy Gameboys broken Gameboys in bulk and send them to veto It's like a weird shitty. It's the stupidest curse in the world that I like I can't bring myself to throw that crap out I'm finally at a curse. It's the stupidest curse in the world that I like I can't bring myself to throw that crap out I'm finally a curse. It's a mental disorder. I have a bin now because I'm testing on the consoles I have a bin full of broken consoles, and I should just throw them in the trash But I'm like now. Maybe I could like give them to a game store. Maybe there's a guy wants to fix them I'm gonna bring my kid to your property and show them Don't do this you're gonna do this. Don't do this.

Oh yeah, kids! What is the what is the tradition here? Was I supposed to get you a cigar? I don't think... Yeah. Yeah. You should have got me a cigar. No, that's for when they're born. That makes more sense.

Or when they get laid for the first time. I don't know. I'm not up on them. Am I supposed to sign a pledge that I make any jokes about? Tanner already did Tanner already beat you to it. He made a child. He would turn the kid gay Okay, if I would he says he offered his service return. Yeah, and I said Vito do it for free Yeah, exactly. Yeah five minutes in a closet. I can make any kid gay five minutes. Yeah, all right two minutes Once you get me in there anyway. I already said I wouldn't do it now. I'm doing it well congratulations You're gonna be a father. Are you gonna live? I know you can't resist making these types of jokes

Like you're like this. I don't look everybody thinks the only jokes I ever made they are funny Okay, they're funny jokes, but I get it. Oh, you know Okay, honestly, I don't know I'm not gonna make you know how to handle I'm not gonna make jokes about your unborn child Okay, once he's born all bets are off Or she oh Then who cares? Yeah, then it then it who cares Did you make sure to get your balls really warm before you had sex? I don't know.

So that you have a boy. Is that how that... Yeah, because it kills off all the lady sperm. Oh, I didn't know that. And that, yeah, you gotta like heat up your balls good. I'll try it again. Put them in the microwave. Oh yeah, okay, here's the problems. gay people complaining about having to act normal. Hey

That was a really Problem sounds worse than it is, but it's it's a good problem. You know, we like the gay community I'm part of the gay community in a way, you know, have you know, they won't that's the kind of the problem I'm the worst member of the gay community That's kind of the problem. I'm the worst member of the gay community. I'm like, I look sexist. I know. The gay community, the comic community.

I've fucked it all up. It's all a big mess. There's no community. I mean the comedian community also. I'm trying to remember what community will have me at this point. The video game people, do they let you in? No, no, no. I'm on the ounce with them too. Sticky electronics.

I think Pat the NES punk hates me. Barely, barely lost to the gay one. Yeah. Sticky electronics is a very good deal. Sticky electronics is a very good problem. Honestly, I would have gave that number one. That's a good one. Empty retail space is also quite high. And then wife Jack, very very low. So a lot of closeted homosexuals.

And I want to say Riketa Laws here watching us. Oh is he? I hope everything's going good for you. Oh Nick! We're all rooting for you. Call in this weekend so we can talk about the Daniel Penny thing. Give Dick some child rearing tips based on your past. When building a nursery what is the best place to hide your safe of cocaine? Is it under the crib? Perhaps behind the diapers or something? Whatever works. We love you, Nick.

Okay. Highwind says, no frog toning this episode. What the hell? Kai Kukin says, just find a guest that doesn't hate Vito. That's the secret to finding guests. That's impossible. Look, I'm trying to be more likeable. It's just not working.

How are you trying? I don't know. I made that cool new Twitter avatar. Everybody likes Max Cool. Oh. Hahahaha. I think it's working. I think people on Twitter, they used to be like, ah, fuck this Vito guy.

But then they see Max Cool and they're like, hey, that guy's kind of like that guy's kind of your max cool now. I'm back school on Twitter. Okay. I think people like it Are you are you gonna be max cool? Well? You know I think it's one of the many personas which I you know identify as Max cool is the kind of guy he likes to keep it clean He likes to have a good time party a little bit who argues with People in chat in group chats what group? arguing with people in group chats if Sorry, are you max cool? in a group chat says something that is incorrect I may correct of the record that doesn't sound max cool I

Will that's not max cool. Okay, but they're veto might go max veto might go Hey, there's no AI in the comic book. Can you stop saying that that's retarded? I might say that in a group chat Somebody sent me a clip of you talking about your comic Oh, no, and then making fun of crowd of of crowdfunded comics that then you were saying It's so crazy that they get released three years late Was this an old when the clip was from it yes from our show two and a half years ago Yeah, but my but my campaign hadn't launched yet, so that's what's important. That's what's important We're only a year off these other guys are way farther off

There are guys with four-year like look I get it okay, but Uh-huh whatever man At this point is just I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy Hack the movies said Oh Tony's such a little piece of shit lately Okay, I am happy that the stock market's up Yeah Remember when you did stock tip veto as a bit because you thought I was gonna lose it all and then every pick

I've made is making our fans rich beyond their wildest dreams. You will lose it all. At some point, yeah, I'm actually getting really nervous. It's just that the stock market's going up so you're making money. I'm picking some good ones. And you're blaming, you're crediting yourself. I've been picking some good ones. I've been picking some good ones.

You're crediting your brain when it's just sentiment. All I know is, you know, I get messages from people that go, well, stock tip veto, you've done it again. You should leverage it. I should leverage it. You should get leveraged. No. Instead of, that's just so good. I'm getting too nervous with the market, it's going.

Didn't we get a new computer to make that not happen? Yeah, we did that. You can take it, what are they, well, you can take it out of the biggest problem funds. Tell me what it cost. We're using it for the show. I mean, it's just like this whole, didn't we get a computer? Like, I'm setting it up

and running it. So the, didn't we try to stop this? Didn't we stop this from happening? It's like a passive aggressive royal we? Like, I pick up on what you're saying. It's not about the amount of money that was spent on it. is like a passive aggressive royal wee. Like I pick up on what you're saying. It's not about the amount of money that was spent on it. OK, you're right.

You got a computer. Congratulations. I'm sorry I attributed it to the show, the collective spirit of the show. Calumee says, Vito, first results for search on car headlights getting brighter is literally that they are getting brighter, you too. You you know what I think I did get schooled on that but you you started it though you were the one who suggested that this guy had

like an astigmatism is the reason he thought the headlights were brighter and I went along with it but it turns out headlights are getting brighter now. Oh Joeym Joe says you guys names are getting out. Joe Mjø. Big in Uganda or something. I love the guest episode. I'm the guest episode Poland for some fucking reason it's always funny to watch them flounder Especially when they're lol cows in the making line frog Tony So you had a little typo there buddy you were trying to go in on frog Tony But you see that you've made a little spelling mistake good old frog Tony. I still like frog Tony That's the worst part of all this. I like that guy.

I don't even want to get- What? I don't care what you guys are doing. Hold on. I was told- you were at the same meetup I was at. Yeah. And I was told that after Frog Tony left, I was shit-talking Frog Tony. Do you remember this? Yeah, you said that you could fit your dick between his front teeth. Yeah, I did not say that. You announced it to the table. You announced it to the table. You're like, that fucking guy. I bet I could- Then you said, in fact I know I could stick my dick through his front teeth.

Why do I ever ask you to be honest about anything? Why would I say that? I like his busted up teeth. I think they're cool. You said, is his comic gonna be about embarrassing himself on our show? You said that in front of everyone Look, I think frog Tony's a fun and interesting guy and I'd have him back. I want to give him a do-over Okay, one of these days the frog Return is coming. Your your relationships are so bizarre Cuz I like I want these people people don't understand that I want them to succeed.

Mine are really simple. Love, hate, tolerate. Right. And yours are like this... Just mess of arguments and crossing boundaries. Here's what it is. And like recordings and threats and legal threats. Here's my sickness.

And you know, it's like a mafia relationship, kind of. I think everybody who hates me just hasn't gotten to know me yet. That's what it is. I think I could be everybody's friend. Even Hitler. I think we would have hit it off. And I would have said, hey... I guarantee you're built for being Hitler's friend.

I would have said, hey buddy, you're going a little hard on those Jews. Oh, you would have been. Scale it back. OK. I want you to meet my friend. Actually, that is how you would be Hitler's friend. I want you to meet my friend and Frank, and I want you guys to talk a little bit. You would say that right after he started rounding the Jews

up, you go, hey, Hitler, I think you're going to be a little hard. Because we'd be like, what are you talking about? What are you saying this to me now for? This doesn't help me at all. That is classic you. I'm just, you know, maybe not, you know, one camp, one camp. You don't need all of them. Demographics. It really does make me sad seeing longtime shops and stores closed down. Then their

space just stays empty. I live in Seattle, which contrary to what some people say is a really awesome city with a great history and bones. But there are so many small businesses that are gone forever. Interesting. There you go. Seattle's been taken over by the Antifa though. Seattle? Yeah, right?

I thought that was Portland. Is that Seattle too? I thought it was both, but maybe I'm wrong. Oh well. Sticky shit. Eddie says something. I don't know, just a I'm wrong. Oh, well. Sticky shit. Eddie says something. I don't know, just a bunch of garbage.

That's how you talk about our fans. They live great comments. Vito lost with his People Who Don't Drive as an avid MTB writer and somehow Dick won complain. Oh, that's an old one. All right, that's- Did you see the comment on Reddit about how Sean was the co-host everyone deserves?

But no, they said vetoes the co-host we deserve Sean's one you want. Yes, Sean's what you want vetoes what you deserve a fat Loser drowning in toys and that's what we get because we're a shitty audience and I was like Well, I don't know if I want to be the example here. That's a little it's a little harsh You're a Hitler your story about being Hitler's friend really hit home to me yeah, cuz it's like Right when Hitler's got what he wants to do you come in and negate it that is exactly What do you mean negate it? What do I negate? What am I now now that I have a clear picture of that? I'm gonna try to keep that in mind and identify it be like an Albert Spear guy

I'd be like the architect you'd'd be like, Hitler, you know, why don't we just make some cool buildings? And, you know, and then I get on the stand at Nuremberg and I go, I didn't know that guy was doing all that stuff. I'm everybody's friend. I'm everybody, yeah, he was the good Nazi. He got on the stand, he said, you know, if I knew, I would not have been happy about it.

Okay, what do you have something for us? I have a very exciting segment I like to call What It Up? Y'all We Miss You Sean Godspeed Friday is the biggest problem Friday is you just want to kill yourself Only thing that matters is we's right by each other all night, vote it up.

Fuck that shit, by far the worst segment. And just, when you think he's finally done, and it can't get worse, there he goes, making my head hurt again, head hurt again, head hurt again, and there he goes, making my guts twist again, once again, I'm taking the green man. That's not how you vote it out, again And there he goes, making my guts twist again Once again, I'm taking the green man There he goes, saying it's a dumb shit again Lame shit again, kill your family and I know He's never letting us go So hurry it up, oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh There's a big bonus episode of the Dick Show, Sean's last show. Go check it out, patreon.com slash The Dick Show. And we're doing a bonus episode tomorrow.

We need to do a bonus episode. We're going to do it tomorrow. I think we might have a theme. We'll figure it out. Yeah, OK. Well, guys, this voted up. Where we revisit past problems, put them in a new light. And there's a lot of exciting new problems going on.

Dick, here's one that you'll find interesting. From episode 92, I think you brought this problem in. The problem of a semaglutide. You were like opposed to it. Yeah, I hate it. Because it makes people's faces look like sunken corpses. Everything about it. It gives them this kind of confidence.

I mean, but look at this radiance I'm experiencing. I look exactly the same. It makes their like brains are melting out too, I think. I actually haven't been able, I have to mix my new batch. I uh. With what? Well and this is embarrassing to admit. Uh. Like the semi-glutide wasn't embarrassing to admit. That's what annoys me about it. Okay. You know how you're supposed to like mix it with like this special no bacteria in it water?

No. Okay, well whatever. When you mix peptides, you're supposed to use what's called bacteriostatic water, which is water that has been treated. So it's like completely isolated from everything and there's no way there's any bacteria in it. So you guys are capable of worrying about what you eat. Sure.

Yeah. Okay. We knew it. What I found out though is that that stuff doesn't keep as long as I thought it did. And I kept reusing the same water. And that's possibly part of why I've been poisoning myself slowly that maybe that water was a supposed to use a new batch of water Every time but now I know what's special about the water

Well, it's just that the water has like nothing. It's been like completely stripped of anything Like it's just a solution to hold the peptide. Okay, you know, there's no water. Yeah, there's no like Hold the peptide. Okay. You know, there's no... Water. Yeah, there's no like, I don't know, iron or zinc or whatever. I don't know what the fuck's in the water. Oh yeah, you gotta have a lot of that in your water.

Whatever, when you get it out of the tap, there's all sorts of like minerals and... I don't... Oh look, I'm just making it up what it is. As far as I know, it's just, it's to make sure that when you inject yourself, it's not like full of bacteria and crap. Okay, okay, okay. Oh, you gotta inject... You're mixing water with something and injecting it?

Yeah. Oh my god. And it sucks, and I hate injecting myself, and that's part of the problem. They've got to get that pill version going. And hopefully- They do have a version of Ozymphic. They do have a version that's a pill. It's called not eating.

Yeah, well that one's a little harder to get. Yeah. Unfortunately, the version where you eat is very plentiful and not as effective. OK, so what's happening? Well, Dick, these drugs are so popular now that it seems the government wants to start giving it away. I can't believe that.

The Biden administration currently plans to require Medicare and Medicaid to offer coverage of weight loss medication for people seeking obesity treatment, or in short, the government paying for your weight loss drugs. The new rule proposed by the Biden administration Tuesday would dramatically expand access to these anti obesity medications. Now in the past, Medicare has been barred for paying for weight loss drugs unless they're used to treat conditions like diabetes or manage an increased risk of heart disease.

However, the Biden administration has found a bit of a loophole. So do you get this? Do you get free of this? I don't have Medicare or Medicaid. This is for old people, you know? I mean, or disabled. Yeah, poor people. You could buy it from poor people then.

I could buy it from poor people. They're going to be selling their. Well, Dick, here's the thing is what they have to do in order to make this, you know, an actual health emergency is that the government would classify being fat as a chronic disease. So being fat would officially be a disease, a chronic disease. Being fat, the obesity is a disease that needs to be treated by the government. That's great. The change would dramatically reduce out of pocket costs for the drugs, which can currently cost a thousand dollars or more.

The federal government will pick up the majority of that cost, which would be about 25 billion dollars for Medicare and 11 billion for Medicaid. And then an insurance executive got shot. Can you believe that? I can't fucking believe that. Whoa, people are so likely. That's only 36 billion dollars! 36 billion! We can make that happen. How much was the wall? How much was Trump's wall you guys were all crying about? States also will have to kick in an additional 4 billion.

Like 20 billion? But you got money for fat drugs, because you can't stop eating, but you got no money for the wall. Well, you know what? If we had stopped all those Mexicans for sneaking in all their tacos and churros, maybe we could have cut this thing off at the head. Of course, this bill it could be face opposition from Trump RFK is apparently very skeptical of these ozempic drugs and may seek to bar. Yeah, cuz everyone's like not retarded

What do you mean? It's working for a lot of people gonna like your brains gonna evaporate one day Do you not understand? Everyone's brain is gonna evaporate someday who violently out of your asshole? That's what's gonna happen hairs nothing matters anymore Man like there's plastics in our dicks like who cares plastic in our dicks. There's plastic in your balls There's micro plastics and everything you can't eat fish because we poison every reservoir with mercury. Okay, we're all fucked poison every reservoir with mercury, okay? We're all fucked. All right, so who cares at this point? I mean, I liked the poisoning fat people part.

I just wish we could do it for cheap. Yeah, well. Yeah. Well, if RFK. So is there gonna be like a lot of. RFK's gonna take away your ability to poison. Well, maybe it'll make it easier to poison fat people. Is TSA gonna be staffed by like Naomi Campbell,

Tyra Banks look-alikes now, instead of Lizzo? They're gonna be digging through. Instead of 20 Lizzo's? They're gonna be staffed by like Naomi Campbell, Tyra Banks lookalikes now instead of Lizzo? Instead of 20 Lizzo's? They're gonna be looking for your Pop Tarts on behalf of RFK. He's gonna be ripping them out of your bag and sending you to fat camp. Well guys, Dick said Ozempic was a problem. Clearly Biden disagrees. Currently number 770 with 154 down votes. So the audience disagreed with you. The audience is big, on ozempic. Yeah, there's a bunch of fat idiots. They can see that I'm a living example of what can happen when you take it sporadically

across a year and keep forgetting to take it and mix it wrong. So they're seeing the results. I got a new, look, I got a new batch. We're gonna give it another college try. You got new water, new fat water? My new fat water showed up in the mail. They sell it in little cans

So you can't keep it around too long they got it's in little like protected bottles Yeah, you got to put a needle in to get the water out Don't think so the needles at what point does it start feeling like you're just doing heroin like I would be I wish it was more Yeah, if doing the ozimthic got you high for a little bit. I'm losing weight They don't tell you to inject it between your toes Unfortunately, you gotta inject it inject it toes, unfortunately. You gotta inject it. You gotta inject it right into your belly. For heroin addicts, that'd be a problem, but you guys...

We got anywhere. Your underarm fat, that's the worst part is they go, you can inject it into your underarm fat. I don't want to think about my underarm fat, man. That's the worst kind of fat. Are you going to get the skin surgery? If I... When you lose all the weight?

Yeah, when I lose all the weight. I would have to basically you gotta. What if your head doesn't lose any weight? It's just the rest of you. I just have a giant head? Yeah. Well maybe me and Tony from Hack the Movies can do a show together then called Fat Heads RS. Alright guys well that's so zempik. I got one more here for you. Dick, this is a horrifying story. Now we've obviously talked about this from episode 59, the problem of circumcision apologists. These are people who are pro circumcision. They say it's good. Now you're about to have a child yourself. Do you have a circumcision plan with your significant other? I'm gonna grab it, take it off. I saidskin. I don't know buddy you didn't get it

I hate circumcision and then I walk down and go I mean it's your kid if you want the foreskin BING! Heheheh sucker! You can take it for yourself because you're circumcised yes? Come on. How is that relevant to the story? Well it's interesting. What do you care? It's not interesting. I'm circumcised. That's less interesting

Okay, I think the audience wants to know why would they want to know that it informs a lot of your like Personality it informs who you are, you know the whole dickmasters and persona You know a lot of that stems from whether or not you have a foreskin Something like that. I just think it's relevant to the audience I don't understand why you know we try to be open and honest on this show. People want to know if you got a flap of dick skin or not, and you're being all coy about it, which makes me think that, uh, I don't know. What is the rest of it?

What's the, what's the application? Well, Dick, a Missouri couple has been charged with child abuse after police claim they performed a circumcision on a child at their home despite lacking any medical training. Tyler Wade Gibson and his wife Bailey Alexis Gibson were charged with child abuse and Tyler was charged with performing unauthorized surgery. Tyler Gibson confessed he performed the circumcision and explained that he used a utility tool to perform it. I don't know if that's a... like a Leatherman. Yeah I was gonna say, yeah like one of those from our boys at PVK.com. No but with more like an Allen wrench and stuff, like all kinds

of circular things. Yeah he had a, he had a circular saw. When he was asked by the cops he was medically trained he said no but he said he conducted research and prayed a blessing. So at least God was there in the room with them. He further explained he placed pads to catch the blood and sterilized the blade but was not prepared for the amount of bleeding. So they took the child to the hospital. That's where the hospital said, what did you do? Actually, what happened was they took the kid to the hospital and after waiting four hours, they said, you know, I'll even wait too long. And then they took the kid home with his bleeding deck. And you're like, no, I think you should keep waiting. Right. That's what happened. Yeah. they went back home and the child protective server

shows up and they go, yeah, we had a report that you brought a kid with a bleeding dick to the hospital. And they're like, yeah, we tried to do a surgery. It's all fine now. And then a health care CEO got killed. There you go. They had to wait for four hours to get their baby's bleeding penis looked at.

It would have been good if they could have gotten to it a little bit quicker. The Department of Family Services did go to the home and remove five children. I guess they were... Foster kids? Yeah, I guess. Well, I don't know. Five kids?

I assume so. Yeah. Could be actual. Whatever. And both of them were released from custody after posting a bond of just $25,000, which seems a little low for trying to cut a kid's penis skin off. Did they have it? Did they keep the skin? They had the 25 grand though?

Well, you know you get a bail bondsman to put up. It would only be like 20 what 250 bucks or 2500 probably 2500 Shut up, it's 10% Oh whatever. I got there you fucking idiot. Is that it? Anyway guys all I know is if you're- wait which ones were they the problem? Circumcision apologists were the problem. So these are people who again are pro-circumcision. Oh, yeah, they're brainwashing those guys. Yeah. To do that kind of stuff on the... He says he prayed. He prayed. Which means it was a weird religious thing. Guys that's currently number 57 with 644 upvotes. Why don't you go and vote it up? with 644 upvotes, why don't you go and vote it up? Gotta have the line voted up in it though. I think it says it once, it's in there.

Friday is the list to the biggest problem. Friday is you just want to kill yourself. Want to kill yourself. Only thing that nice to do is ride by each other all night. Vote it up. Vote it up. Fuck that shit. My father, before he died. And just, when you think he's finally done, and it can't get worse. There it goes, making my head hurt again. Head hurt again. Head hurt again. And there it goes, making my guts miss again. Hit the vote the vote up? Voting on up now You got to vote

Got to vote on all them problems You know you got to Go to the website You fan slur Yeah Oh you gotta say it, okay He said it a couple times Okay that's good, I take it back, that's good Excellent, alright, you gotta say it, okay. He said it a couple times. Okay, that's good. I take it back. That's good.

Excellent. You're the big winner. I'm the big winner. Seems like we've got some recent show news to discuss, which relates to a common problem I think a lot of people have experienced. The problem is, obviously, we've got an audience full of hard workers.

Guys are putting in the effort, guys are putting in the hours, just want a little bit of record. You think that if you go hard enough, if you really show your dedication, show your effort, eventually it'll be rewarded by- At work or as a fan? As at work, yeah. Okay, yeah, at work.

You put in your work, you try to show it to your colleagues and coworkers. You go, hey, look at how hard I'm working here. And then the big promotion comes along, right? Like like a senior staff member steps down from his role. There's a big corner office. It's just sitting there Nobody's in it. You know, okay. Well clearly my time to shine is come Now is the time to move on up to the deluxe apartment in the sky as we say. And you're describing this based on like personal experience or stuff you saw on TV? No, I think I've you know, I think I've experienced you know, not being recognized for my effort

So my problem of course is the problem of getting passed over for a promotion This is that you know, there's a big promotion at work It's a big empty spot to fill and It's a big empty spot to fill and you're just there and you go all you know the obvious solution is you know clearly I'm gonna get the knock on the door I'm gonna get the hey can I see you in my office you know you've been with the company for a number of years I think now it's time to talk about moving to the big leagues taking charge getting a little bit of responsibility a little

bit of power and then you know oh a little bit of responsibility, a little bit of power. And then, you know. Oh, a little bit of power. A little bit of power or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they go, they go, oh, we got Johnny. We give Johnny the job. You got Johnny? That guy? They go, yeah, Johnny. The first email I got was, do not replace Sean with Vito. All caps.

He got so, that guy had to get that email off so quickly that he just... He furiously got in there. You know, it's then you go, well, you know, has Johnny been a crucial part of the organization? And they go, well, you know, he's always kind of been in the periphery. We've always had him on tap. Why would we not get Johnny to take on this responsibility? Everybody likes... He's Samo on this responsibility? Everybody likes Johnny! Nobody likes you!

Despite all the years of fun songs and bits and putting yourself on the line. I actually think you are what caused Sean to leave. Because just you being around makes me so stressed that he's like it's just too much negativity around Jesus Christ come on. I'm out of here. You say I'm the reason Sean quit the dick show. I think so. Yeah It's like it's just not It becomes too much anger the audience now is gonna be posting like he's right. He's right. Yeah, I think so look I'm just saying look. There's a you know you got a show with dick show. Yeah, right. You're missing a co-host Mm-hmm this dynamic is a winning dynamic everyone's seeing it

I know every missing an audio engineer not a oh he's gonna. He's gonna be the audio engineer Well, yeah, that's what he's done. Maybe he could engineer our audio as we do another a second spectacular show. That's why I need more VDL in my life I'm just every Saturday I wake up and I'm like, oh man, I have to wait 6 days to see that guy again? Here's the thing, here's the thing, here's the thing Why did he even go home? Okay, look, there's been some rockiness over the past. I don't know six months maybe yeah

Yeah, but now that Trump's in I don't really care anymore. Well here. That's what I'm saying I think that if anything everything's just so smooth now You know that uh that there's an opportunity I think for us to just you know have a have a great time, and you know a second about destiny son What's he doing? He seems like a funny? I always forget that destiny has a kid That's the most horrible thing in the world mate. What's his name? Dreaming now. What's he up to he is streaming so he's aware. I got people are not going in that kids chat Talking about daddy was a scent somebody's sucking some wiener

The show now! He could be. He's definitely not! How do you know? We're talking about him now. I would watch stuff that people are talking about me. Okay. Destiny's son, don't worry. He's sucking wieners. And he plays it in like a kid way.

That makes it even worse. Look, I don't even think it would matter. It's like, you know, he knows who his dad is. He knows his dad's gay. Like, it even worse. Look, I don't even think it would matter. It's like, you know, he knows who his dad is. He knows his dad's gay. Like, it's obvious. Come on. What? You're gonna look at Destiny and go,

oh, that guy's not gay at all. You go, he's a little bit gay. He's definitely experimented in some way. That's why nobody's shocked by this. When it comes out that there's DMs of Destiny going, ah, you know, I love putting butt plugs in my ass. You go, yeah, of course you do. Like, why would you not? You mean, of course you do. Like, why would you not?

You mean, of course you do. Look at him, come on! You like putting butt plugs in your ass? Him, clearly, enjoyed experimenting or whatever. You could tell? You could tell right away? It's not that you could tell right away, but it's one of those things where like,

if you know, he was at TSA and they pulled him aside and there was a butt plug in his luggage, you wouldn't go, well, I'm completely shocked by this. I'd go, oh hell no! No, but Tanisha wouldn't go, oh hell no, because she'd look at him and she'd go, mm-hmm, you freak, you child. You white boys is crazy. You freak, you child.

Mm-hmm. Okay. I think honestly you're just too big for my show. That's the problem. That's the problem. Too large. Yeah, you're too much in charge. Well, I'm just saying, you know, I think Maybe not a maybe not a permanent host, but I could certainly come in. It's like, ow, what if you had two aliens? It would suck. God forbid. You know, and the other one was even louder and ate more cats. I'm saying, you know,

Maybe on a trial basis. I just come in. It's- we tried it and We had to make a whole other show to get rid of you That's not what happened shut the fuck up look we did the first two episodes of this show was me you and Johnny And it was a good format. We were both bummed out that uh Johnny, and you know what I found out Johnny talks shit about me on the dick show a bunch is that true. Oh, yeah Bunch is that true? Oh, yeah Somebody I saw a comment see Johnny understands your friends don't understand this But we understand yeah that you could say whatever you want I just want to be everyone's friend so he could go These guys are these guys get stuck. I'm not shit about Johnny. What do you what do you would you just what would you say?

No, I like Johnny. What do you call it? Threatening to talk shit. What would you say? No, I like Johnny. What do you call it? Are you threatening to attack shit? Can I have one of those beers please? What was I going to say? No, it's fine. I think Johnny is another one of these guys who only sees me on Twitter. Because he actually said to me, he said, God I fucking hate you on Twitter, but just hanging out, we're having a good time. Yeah, but who you are is who you are on Twitter. That's the real you.

In real life you're like phony You know I am not phony in real life. But as soon as you're online you're like I'm the real me I don't I'm not even that mean online I don't know why everybody gets mad cuz I say liberal shit And then they go like I can't believe Vito would say that Ashley Babbitt's not a patriot. That's just fucking bullshit Vito would say that Ashley Babbitt's not a patriot. That's his fucking bullshit. Blah blah blah blah blah. Nah, because I- the last- one of the last things I saw of you responding- What is the worst thing I did online that I said?

You respond- when you're arguing with people, you respond, okay. Right. That's- I mean, what- no, what do you need? I do that in real life too. I do that all the time to you. That's who you are. Okay, well, I- Okay. Alright.

Because at a certain point, you're just arguing with people and they're like, you know, oh, do you have any- do you have any steps to back this up? You have anything you don't say anything. Why don't you explain the Weimar Republic to me? And I go, yeah, I'll explain the Weimar Republic to you. Can you? Can you explain the Weimar Republic? It was very gay and a lot of fun for a lot of Germans and that's all you need to know. Oh, is that what it was?

Everybody's having a real good time. It was debauched? It was, it was not debauched. It was a little out there. Oh. A lot of stuff going on in the 30s, man. It's a great depression. Some of the good, some of the bad. Some of the good, some of the bad. I think they made some good movies in Germany in the 30s.

I don't know. Yeah, I mean, you know, it's just really a management decision. Is what it comes down to. It right down from above. Oh from above Yeah, it comes down from Sean didn't say this, but I kind of got the It's unsaid and the way what he didn't say and it was do not replace me with Vito I don't hear that at all anything if anything I heard him speak and there was a little twinkle in his eye kind of this Hey, what you and what you and Vito have have is true comedy man Yeah, it deserves its own show it deserves its own show to be selling with it's so good that if it expanded into a second show I can only imagine a second show it would get only imagine

No, no, you'll do I don't think that's gonna happen. I think it's just gonna be you and Johnny though I think I think you I think that format would be good with a third wheel, but what do I know? Oh, you think the format of radio would be good with a third wheel? Well, I've been listening to a lot of Howard Stern. That's the best Howard Stern years. What about a fourth wheel?

Well, what do you call it? Not Jackie, what's his name? Like the Algonquin ronk, um, um, like politically incorrect, what about that? Well, I was gonna say Robin's not a good example of a good radio show, because she just is there to laugh and say basically nothing. She's just kind of there to piss off all the other guys. What about Nine Wheels? Nine Wheels are good.

Like Geeks and Gamers or whatever they're doing. I've been listening to a lot of Howard Stern. I do wish we could have more people in the studio. It adds something. You know, call in, we can call in, you know, and go... It's like, what do you call it? It's like Rogan's got that kid who he just yells at to pull shit up. It's fun, it adds a little something. You know, and if we did your show with three people, it just adds to the hilarity.

You know, a three-wheel show three-wheel show finish your comic, please That's a whole different thing that's all different thing I'm just saying you know if this is what this is what it is before the show Yeah, by the way when I'm trying to find stats, it's hey, so like this is a three-wheel four-wheel by the way I'm watching Whatever I'm sorry. I try to have a discussion with you when I come over here It's not a discussion closed off. That's the problem is I'm trying to get you to you know open up and open up to what? Anyway, I'm sure the show will be great without me

You know yeah, but there are gonna be sure that are going to be those fans who I think in the back of my mind are going to go, I wish Vito was here with Johnny and Dick, that would be. Now that's a dynamic. What happened to your show? What are you doing with your show? Like the Tuesday night? Yeah, I might bring it.

It's hard to find guests who are reliable and what? Because you're like the fucking guest guy. Every time. Not guest, like co-host. I need a good co-host. Like somebody who's snappy and quick. What because you're like the fucking guest guy every time Not guess like co-host. I need a good co-host like somebody's like snappy and quick what we have is not easily replicated Yeah, I've said that I've said that a million times Okay, you've had you've tried with a bunch of people. It's hard to find rapport with somebody Yeah, that's true and somebody who's on kind of the same It's like there's like comedy levels that people are on You know, I think we're on like the same wavelength. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, which is hard to replicate

Well, which is why the dick show would be so great to you know, just bring more of this It's more of this people love I mean people love this so uh Sorry you got back Johnny the audio engineer is gonna knock it out of the party you delete that tweet Was the delete part of the joke I was trying to come up with a way to like jokingly be like hey Put some veto in there a little veto in the mix. Yeah, we got a little veto This is a bit look. It's your show do whatever you want. I don't need to be on the dick shit. Oh, okay It would be really good, but probably not the kind of show you want to make anyway. You want to talk about you know?

whatever All right, I've been with the dick show in a while I don't actually know what's been going on sounds like a perfect co-host to me. No you do fat watch you know that Oh, yeah, I did hear that gonna like that I did hear I'll well It's just hard for me to like I go like well. It'll wear you down over time all right. How about this if in a year? I'm a skinny boy. We'll revisit it cuz I can get out on fat Well, okay if your comic is out if I'm a comics out, and I'm a skinny boy will last About 100 200 pounds 200 pounds a little much

Okay, I heard Sean might still make some bits for your show though Which would be great. Yeah, that would be good. I'd be good, so he's not dead. Let's see here And he'll be at any live show type stuff, so that's good I mean, I don't know about that well. He said he wanted to yeah He said he wanted to I didn't say like he'll definitely be there. He wants to be he's not he's not like fuck the dick show I gotta get out of here. I don't want to talk to any of you. Why are you laughing? What is this? I don't know I think you're falling apart. You're like summary of the events. You think what? I think you're falling apart man

Oh, you think I'm falling apart? You feeling good? You got a lot going on man. It's not really that much I'm worried for you. But which part? It's not really that much. I'm worried for you. But which part? All of it, man. You got a kid coming, you got a long time... Look, the relationship you and Sean had... I mean, I don't want to drag down the comedy podcast or whatever else, but you guys have a very deep bond. Okay.

It's a tragedy what's happening. It's sad. It's very sad, and the audience is justifiably sad about it to them. It's a tragedy what's happening. It's sad. It's very sad, and the audience is justifiably sad about it to them. It's sad. And I talk about that parasocial shit, and I saw people post, and they go, I kind of understand what Vito's been saying

about that parasocial thing, because these guys who live on the other side of the planet from me, one of them's leaving the podcast, and I'm bawling. But yeah, because it is real. It feels like a real connection to you, not just you and him, but the audience. It's interesting. It's interesting. You can't say it's not interesting.

Well, yeah, but you know, nothing lasts forever. It's sad. Right. But, sorry. Well, one way to make it up to them would be to do a great second show with more veto, and I think that's what they really want. What about the biggest reviews?

I thought we were doing that. We should do more of that. That would be good. Yeah, you wanna go see a movie? I do wanna see a movie actually. I've been meaning to go to the movies. I haven't been in the movies in forever. Okay. So maybe we'll do some reviews. We'll find some ways to, uh... We gotta do a bonus episode. We gotta do a bonus episode. I'm sorry I was sick so we weren't able to do the last one.

Oh yeah. Yeah, that's okay. And then I came in sick on the show. I thought honestly the last episode, people were like, Why is the last episode short? people were like why's the last episode Short and I think you noticed that I couldn't stop coughing you were getting bad I I thought I was gonna be able to make it through and I'm like, this is not working I have made a horrible mistake And you're like insisting on reading this you're interrupting me to read the super chats I'm going through the- Because I thought it would help my throat! I thought it would help if I just kept talking!

There you go. That is you put that on your tombstone. I thought it would help if I just kept talking. I thought I- That's a good Veto quote. That is the energy that I am picking up with the Sean thing. That's good stuff. Alright, well can you tell me about a UFO noise? Did you do that? Yeah, I did it

Health insurance claim denials. That's my problem Well, why would that be a problem dick? Well that guy got killed you know someone got killed. Yeah, whoa Not a head health insurance poor that poor I guess there's no health insurance for a bullet to the back of the skull, huh? No, I guess they're not they haven't invented a way to charge people for that Yeah, that guy was a gun down in the course of New York or sweet bastard That poor sweet white man. This has been interesting cuz uh his fantasy football bros. Yeah You know what the health executive that's the guy the remaining act

It's been interesting because I'm seeing like a lot of people crying. It's like I Like the guy I've done this before though remember when those kids were dying in a submarine But I only I only felt bad for the kid was in the submarine. I'm like his dad's an idiot I felt bad for that kid trapped down there. You know what why? Like why do you have- why does it- Why do people have to construct these like elaborate like, well this- I feel bad for this. I don't feel bad for this. I do feel bad for this. I don't feel bad for this. I think that's what being human is. That's like how laws are determined.

Like all of society is structured- Is that what being human is now? I think all of society is structured on who you do or do not feel bad for. That's how we write laws. But then it seems so irrelevant when you can just walk up and shoot someone in the back of the head Well, I mean it's like okay here you go can do that But you might figure out how might else happen to you figure out how fucking are you all feel and present to each other about that? Isn't that crazy though that it's like such an integral part of our identity that we stress. Hey everybody I do feel bad about this murder. I do not feel stress. Hey everybody. I do feel bad about this murder

I do not feel bad about this murder. I do feel bad about this murder It's kind of become a it's like okay. That's kind of all that guy's dead That's all we argue about on Twitter though is like yeah, who do we feel bad for who do we not feel bad for? Mm-hmm. It's kind of like the the essential Split between like left and right. The left's like, I feel bad for this guy, and the right's like, I don't feel bad for anybody. You know? Oh yeah.

I don't really know anymore. It's interesting. After Israel got attacked. Well that's where it all gets complicated. Everything got cut across in the middle. I'm like, wait a minute. Who cares about what and why? You knew who anymore. But that's what makes this interesting, is that all these people are telling me I'm like wait a minute who cares about what you say you knew in who anymore

But that's what makes this interesting is that all these like people are telling me I'm not allowed to take joy in a health care executive getting murdered I'm like I assume he did something wrong everything I assume that guy got his health insurance denied He made like it no he made an AI. Oh the guy who shot the guy who shot him Yeah, yeah, Sean and I were talking about it I'm sure that I really hope that it's because he got a claim denied and not because of like some kind of Cover-up for the AI thing that because the guy was like the guy launched an AI denial system So you don't even need human beings to deny claims anymore. Oh shit. I like Skynet

Basically, I go through the claim and say no and kill you. Yeah. Yeah, so this guy they killed the guy? Like Skynet, basically Skynet. Yeah, go through the claim and say no. And kill you. Yeah. Yeah. So. It is Skynet. They killed the guy who invented Skynet, I guess. And he traveled through time. That's fascinating.

Yeah, isn't it? It is. I brought some stats in, I guess. On health care claim denials. It was hard to pay attention to them. Let's see, healthcare.gov ensures 17% of in-network claims were denied in 2021. 17%. That's a lot.

That's a lot. I mean, you have a- That's a doctor that went to med school, paid- is in debt for $600,000 at a med school, went there for eight years, residency, basically a slave to save people and he says okay Yeah, this is what you need and some pencil dick a computer yeah says No, 17% of the time It's uh and that guy got killed yeah, that's wild all that health insurance stuff man I know you've had I know you have pet insurance and that hasn't helped you at all that's a form of

Let's get if I have to get surgery on her ACL it will it will the pet insurance actually cover that it better Dick just bought a cool new black jacket and a gray backpack And I'm not rinsing any bitch in a hostel either. Can you take your mask down so I can see you? No, I'm not a faggot in a gray backpack. I wonder what he's playing. And I'm not rizzing any bitch in a hostel either. Can you take your mask down so I can see you? No, I'm ugly. Yeah. I wonder if they're going to catch that guy. Doing it in New York was pretty ballsy, I've got to say.

Can you believe that? Yeah. I was like, is there not a better place to try and kill this guy? You see pictures of his big, beautiful house? Did the guy live in a nice mansion, I assume? Multiple kitchens. Yeah Trampoline inside full-size trampoline inside he's jumping on the bones of all the claims. He's denied I would have done him in the house. I would think it's probably easier to get in there

I'd be funnier would be funnier. That would have been him in the house, I would think. It's probably easier to get in there. That'd be funnier. It would be funnier. Yeah, that would have been, you know, on the... Well, I'm gonna say it is really funny to just in the middle of the street just go, BANG! Okay, and then he took off on like a city bike. You're like, Huh! You can just do that, huh? I guess New York was the safest place to do that. Ha!

Ha! I'm waiting for the mayor to kind of say it's like cool, because I don't know if you've seen the mayor is becoming really based lately. He's becoming very based lately coming very yeah Yeah, he's afraid of something. He's really trying to get a trump pardon because he knows a bunch of shits coming down Yeah, so he's been commenting on that Daniel Perry is Daniel Perry and the guy who strangled a guy on a is it Penny or Perry penny it might be penny the white man, but he was like that guy's a hero And I'm like oh interesting you waited till now to say that

What's changed recently are you facing? He's gonna start Charges yeah, he's moving to the right I guess I don't even know if it needs to be covered because everything everybody knows it Everybody knows everybody has a story about it. Everybody knows a relative who's dealt with it Yeah, my dad if my dad didn't have expensive health insurance Yeah, he would be blind because both of his retinas detached and like Kaiser the the HMOs and stuff don't cover that surgery for no reason, you know fuck it's like the doctors are still there Yeah, there's not any more or less of them. I mean health care is expensive, but it's one of these things where you go Okay. Well, let's figure out how to make it work. And then their answer is yeah, just let everybody die

You know, that's figure out how to make it work. And then their answer is, yeah, just let everybody die. And you're like, well, that's not a fucking solution. Yeah, do we need to go to eight years of medical school to like prescribe Vicodin? I don't think so. Yeah, there's a lot of shortcuts we could take to cut down some of these prices. Can I go to the vet and get my bone set? Probably, yeah.

There's a lot of stuff that, as I always tell people, don't forget, you can get antibiotics at the at the pet store I need 10 fat Vietnamese women asking me to fill out the same form every time I go to the doctor I don't think so. Just get fish guys live the veto just walladay lives dolly get your Antibiotics at the pet store you get your a zempik from Chinese suppliers and everything just works out That one that United that he worked for was the worst at denying.

Like they denied the most claims. Yeah. Except for like 30%, I think. Well, it's gonna be one of those assassinations. I was telling you this the other day. Oh yeah. Where Shinzo Abe, the former Prime Minister of Japan, he got killed and everyone's like,

oh, that's so horrible. And it turned out the assassin killed him because he was like supporting this Japanese cult that had bankrupted the guy's family Yeah, and now everybody in Japan is like that was a pretty good assassination, right? What? He had a pretty good reason to do that thing I can't condone the assassination Well that's why this one everyone's like, oh you think it's okay to just kill that guy?

I'm like, yeah, cuz it kind of is gonna draw attention to the I'm not look For the for YouTube's sake Okay, this is part... Maybe I should make this my problem. Okay. The... Like, Fed... Being honest... You think this is gonna solve the problem? Being honest about violence... Being honest about violence has been so punished and policed, and like, the Overton window has been forced so far away from honesty, because violence is in our nature, it's in

politics, all politics is based on violence, all police force is based on violence, everything in our society is based on some sort of violence, either performative or celebrated. It's the nature of our government and our entire political system. To remove it from discourse has caused just a total perversion of morality. I brought in the problem of using guys like Martin Luther King Jr. as kind of like a propaganda tool to go, see non-violence really works. What if that guy who got his claim denied, he could have sat down at a lunch counter and died and waited to die. you don't want to kill anybody you guys gotta light yourself on fire

be like Martin Luther King Jr. and it's like did you guys shoot that guy in the head? I think he's not like we wanted to prove him right we wanted to prove him right yeah it's like it seems like you guys are way okay with using violence to get your end fuck you the first nine months of 2024 United Health reported nine billion in net profit on 300 billion in revenue 230 232 billion came from insurance premiums. So they're saying that denying that much

It's just straight into it's straight denial to profit. No, you know straight like the more It's a complicated. Well, it's not complicated. It isn't complicated at all for them and now we all know that The catch That's actually that's yeah, that's the point is people go oh you think killing one guy's gonna change anything I'm like no, it's the next one Next killing it's the fear. It's called terror. Well, it is the... yeah, it is the fear. It is terrorism. If you keep fucking around, who knows who's gonna do what or when? And then you can't fuck around too much.

Yeah. That's been a lot of society. Um, I don't know if this is true. Then they stormed the Bastille and they cut off your fucking head? Yeah, why do we teach that stuff then? I don't know. Why do we teach about like the French Revolution? For no reason. It's just a fun goof. Just a silly story about a bunch of people that failed.

Just so we can sing that song, you know? Because that musical, everybody wants a backstory of it. There's no other reason. Why are we so obsessed as a society with serial killers? Because they're doing what we wish we could do. Yeah, because we know, well, that's how you solve it. Yeah, we're not like watching. We're not watching shows about like community organizers We're watching them about one guy was like fuck this I think I think I could fix this

Crime is interesting well. I don't look it's and then they bitch out at the end always like hey Yeah, you gotta you can't be saying this You got a Walter Weiss got to die I do hope that it comes out that this guy had some sort of motive or reason that is gonna put all this in a Perspective because it seems like people are like, I don't understand why you'd be upset with a health care executive You know what? Actually, I'm not so upset because he had a family and I don't support terrorism or murder. That's why I just really wish they'd stop denying claims because that's what caused this.

So it would make things a lot easier for those people because it's radicalizing insane people. Look, I do hope you know, I mean, who's next? I just I think what this guy wanted was to start a conversation That's it. That's all he's doing. I don't want to have so just he even wrote little words on the on the bullet casings That's what I heard I heard he wrote little words on there, so that's a man who wants to start a dialogue You got a fourth bullet. Even the Unabomber gave us a little... The Unabomber just wanted to get published in the paper. He said listen Okay, publish my thing in the paper. Everybody's got message you gotta hear these people out fuck him though fuck the Unabomber yeah cuz he's like anti-technology oh yeah I can't believe

I can't understand that at all well that's retarded okay what do you mean no what do you mean what do you mean you think you think this this is the ideal state for humanity we've got clearly- Not because of the technology, because of the fucking government. What? Technology's been a, the industrial revolution as the consequences on the human race have been disastrous. Oh yeah, you're really fucking- Let's be clear, look at me.

Is this the way to live? Is this a human being sitting in front of you? No, this is a nightmare. Okay, I'm Ted Kaczynski's child. He said look what will happen. Just be a fat guy trapped in his house collecting toys. This miracle weight loss drug is not working. All I wanted was to be a marine biologist like the great emperor Irohito. What did you really want when you were a kid? I wanted to be a writer. And that didn't happen either, so who cares? Nothing works out. Okay.

Oh, I did go on a great podcast, though. What do you call it? Our good friend John Breaks Bad News has the most embarrassing podcast. Maybe I should hit him up to be a third chair. People have suggested that. He's like a you, but better. He's a me, but better. Yeah, sure, why not?

You gotta bring it. It's gotta be somebody local, bring him in fly him in by him I'm in where does he live? I don't know in the middle. He's making he's making good money on tick I feel a guy check him out on tick tock John breaks bad news. We like to promote our friends We love them. Oh all that stuff. I said just kidding just kidding JK Any super chats with emojis of squirt guns will do we know that's all in YouTube's fault YouTube's fault dick can you play me a sound all right dick here's a here's what's been going on it's the holiday shopping

season stores are more crowded than ever maybe I am kind of wiped out from the Sean shit what do you mean like in one I am kind of wiped out from the Sean shit. What do you mean? Like in one one? Just like wiped out, stressed. Because he told me on Friday and then I probably spent all of Saturday like feeling like. Crying? No. And I started crying until I was on the show.

You're allowed to cry. That's very manly to cry. I've done it myself and everybody loved it. I was like, it felt like. That bought me like six months of super killer time. I gotta pull that stunt again. It felt like every breakup, like together, it felt like every breakup but worse. Yeah.

You know? Because there was no bad parts about them leaving. Every breakup with a woman, I'm like, you know, barely, barely feel bad. And it goes back and forth, but- Well with Sean, it's, it's interesting cause it's like So many things are dying at once It's not like, I mean you see him every week That's the weird thing you know, it's like that's going away

So when are you gonna see him? It's in my dreams Yeah like what, every couple months you guys will catch up and the magic will never be rekindled And it will always be a memory of what could have been, you'll call him on the phone except you don't cuz you hate phone you ever talk to Sean on the phone never in my life yeah there so it's dead we talk about it's like over well it's like you're gonna be talking to a ghost yeah I'll make an AI I you know you could make an AI get his voice in there yeah that'll be fine you know now just hit a button I'll rig the nut button so it honestly I'll be a nut rigor

You should you should if Sean gives his blessing you should be able to go to the Sean AI and go let's see what Sean Has a lot of blessing to do AI. I know but it's a little fucking weird Where are the diet cokes all right, Sean Very good. All right. so holiday shopping season, Dick. You been buying anything for the holidays? You got a girlfriend? Not really. You got a?

I was going to get my nephew's a temporary tattoo printing thing. That's interesting. That's like $200. $200 for that? Why? $60, I would get it. Can't you just buy the paper and use like an inkjet printer?

That's what I thought. You can't? No, I mean, I assumed you could. Oh, OK. But they had this cool thing. It prints a tattoo on them I'm like that's funny, but not for 200 bucks funny 200 bucks is a good amount I was gonna get myself a nice gift for both of them right so it's a hundred bucks a kid

That's not a very good gift done. Yeah, I know I mean they probably be like just get a Nintendo game They don't care about like they use it for like you know ten minutes And then they're done with it if how old are your nephews they like 11 and 11 12? Well, it's still an age-appropriate gift. I'd say a Tattoo gun yeah, I would get that for me. I'm talking about actual tattoo gun. I have one of those here I I think I have a tattoo gun as well for some reason It was left behind when my my ex-girlfriend left all her crap in my garage I think I have a tattoo gun as well for some reason. It was left behind when my ex-girlfriend left all her crap in my garage.

Oh, she had a lot of hobbies. Huh. I'm gonna be a tattoo artist. I know, honey, I know. Okay. Can't wait to see it. All right, well, a lot of holiday shopping's been going on. I today went to the Target,

and I've been going to the Target. And what used to be great about the Target, Dick, was they used to have, right at the exit, was like 12, I think it was two lanes of self, because that one lane there, that was in four, they had like 12 self-checkout stations at the Target. Yeah, OK. OK, and you could do whatever you just went through.

You could have a million items. They don't care. Have all the fun you want. They've gotten rid of the 12 self-checkouts. They've now moved them away from the doors so you can't just sprint through with your cart. And there's a guy watching you the whole time. Like a fucking hawk.

They only got four of them left. And it's a 10 item or less situation. They did that here too. Dick, my problem is the lack of self-checkout lanes. I can't believe it. You know famously how much I love the self-checkout. I'm a big fan. I always have been.

Yeah, I know. No, no, no. I don't steal from the self-checkout. I don't think assassinating could solve that problem. It's true. That's the real. That's when we have to come together as a community. Well, I don't think this one's one that's getting solved.

Once they've started putting the Legos, they're locking up the Legos. Once the Legos have to be put behind that glass case and locked away, not even the fancy Lego sets, just the regular basic bitch Lego sets are locked up now. Yeah. Because they know that one kid from the fucking what was it the was it Black Lives Matter? Or the one kid was oh, yeah, yeah White Heisman trophy winner one white guy And what does he got a bunch of Legos you like?

You like you are the greatest American hero that like I want a painting of that on my wall. Like that completely summarizes. It's not even like a bunch. Like he could have got like an arm load, but just like, ah, this will do it. Yeah. The summary of the modern white male is one guy in a sea of shoplifters. With like one or.

A sea of shoplifters! Trying to escape with a Lego set. well they won't notice everybody else is going I didn't want to say black people I didn't want to say black people there might have been some Hispanics in there I don't remember it's been a while since I've seen the video wasn't it in Oakland? no not Oakland

I thought I forget where I don't think it was Philadelphia? might have been Philadelphia it was definitely a pretty hood there you go. Uh, so, uh, right now guys. So target of course has decided, when are they going to come back? Ever? Never. Here's target's explanation. Uh, they say during the pandemic, many guests preferred using self checkout for their purchases. They're using COVID as a scapegoat. They're saying, well, you know, we only had it cause of COVID, but they definitely had it way before COVID. That's bullshit today. And we've been thinking about it forever.

Dude, they've had that for like 10 years. What are you talking about? Because of COVID. It was not a COVID thing. Today, ease and convenience are top of mind. They really care about ease and convenience. So to learn more about guest self-checkout preferences, we piloted the concept of express self-checkout with limits of 10 items or fewer at 200 stores. And the result, the self-checkout was twice as fast guys It's faster. That's why we're doing it

That's why we have to get rid of all the self checkouts and put them on the other side of the storage because it's Faster to do a normal checkout They're saying well They're saying it's faster to limit it to 10 items and also get rid of all the self checkouts Like if you have a lot of items, you got to go to a cashier. She'll get you through there quick That was really what was holding everybody back. When in reality, research from Capital One shows that theft has increased up to 65% at the self checkout compared to a traditional self

checkout. Separate data found that 15% of self checkout users admit to using them to shoplift Dollar General, which is a place that should have never had self-checkouts. If you asked me like, well, you know, should we have self-checkout at the Dollar General? I'd go, well, no, not there. Are you fucking nuts? No. It was just a steel drum with a hole in the top for you to drop money. Like just eyeball it on your honor. Here's the deal. If you look at the Dollar General and you go, am I watching an episode of The Wire? If you go to any store and you go am I watching an episode of the what if you go to any store and you guys this is an episode of the wire and

don't put a self checkout in there Dollar General roof self checkout from 12,000 of its stores at any remaining locations it's for five or fewer items I remember the big thing where Amazon had that thing where they're like well you can just walk in and grab whatever you want and leave no no no no no no no and April Amazon removed the Just Walk Out cashier list checkout system from its Amazon Go stores. It's surprising it didn't work out. I don't know why, you know, it just made so much sense.

You know, cause we know everybody and everybody trusts everybody and you just walk in and take what you want. Well, how could that ever go wrong? Fascinating. How does this end? I feel like we were Well, I'm fixing it and then they're like, hey, you know what? Did LA raise the penalties? There's five million more of them Well, I mean you're five million more shoplifters. Oh, these ones rap dad shot, okay? Well, I don't know who you're talking about there. We don't know you don't as no no I have no idea

Nobody's eating cats. That's not happening Okay, I have to lie anymore. They why one why would they eat a cat? They could just steal a fucking Steak from the fucking Walmart. Why do you guys want those cat eaters? So you could have said right away? You know what they are eating the cats Let's get fucking rid of them then you can do all kinds of cramps scams and criminal shit. I don't know who's eating cats I don't know anything about that But I do know that retail theft at the self checkout lane has got make them go away, and I don't think they're coming back What's the end game? Well the end game is the end game is a guy stands over your shoulder

Well you scan everything in your card, and and makes you feel like a move to Poland That's the end game move to Poland. We got any we got some guys who did that and they're having a real good time They got self checkouts in Poland. Yes, see they got a trust based society in Poland. They're both nodding Yeah, of course cuz those guys who steal stuff aren't there like KKK Mart Guys who steal stuff aren't there. Like KKKmart. And it's, you know? Would that be... Would that scare away a certain...

Wow, the Overton window on this show really has shifted in a number of ways. And I love it. But what I don't love is this lack of self-checkout lanes. I remember, man, you used to just be able to breeze through. Dude, it's so fucking annoying. I mean... What? The Overton window just fucks us up the up. The Overton window is very confusing now and

somebody really needs to set it straight. Do you see that congresswoman was on there using the tea slur for trans people? Yeah I did. And I was like you're a congresswoman you're allowed to do that? Holy shit dude like everything is shifting. We're all saying it. Everyone's saying it all the fucking time. They're saying it, we're saying it, we're all fucking saying it. I guarantee you you're fucking saying it. I used to say it and then they told me I couldn't say it and then they said Congresswoman said it and I said I don't know. Congresswoman getting fucked up the ass saying call me it, call me it, call me it. Everyone's fucking saying it, I know that's what's happening.

I don't know man, I'm out of my fucking... Fucking retarded that people are watching what they say ever. I agree, it's interesting that... We'll say it during your fucking wedding vows, but any other fucking time! Kids are saying it, dogs are fucking saying it! We're entering a very interesting period of time. We're all acting like fucking weird mutants online.

Yeah. Beep bop, beep bop, oh I would never say that. Oh I would, oh I can't believe they said that and then as soon as it shut off, what the fuck, da da da da da da da da. There are some things that oh, I would oh, I can't believe they said that and then as soon as it shut up There are some things that yes, I am surprised we have to pretend that everybody is well But now yeah, it seems like people are off the leash they find we've been forced by these social media platforms into like well You can't say that you can't say that you're like well. I don't want to lose my Twitter I don't want to lose my YouTube job

I guess they have had control over a speech in a very bizarre, weird way. And then for some reason, Elon Musk is the guy who's like gonna, like I know, I don't know how to feel about that guy, there's some stuff I don't like, but then I go, yeah, but he's like, he's giving me back my right to fuck around. Spending $200 million to get a president elected or shooting someone in the street,

it doesn't matter how you feel about it. It doesn't matter. They just about it. It doesn't matter. They just did it. I want to get on that new norm show. That's the free speech alternative. Twitter's been waiting for the new norm. Anyway, guys, self-checkout lanes, lack of them. And if you've heard me say anything else

about self-checkout lanes, I don't know. They're going to have a secret one in the back, like a speakeasy. Oh, can I get in the? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, come here. There's going to be a. Yeah, and they're going to have separate drinking They're gonna have a secret one in the back like a speakeasy Yeah, they're gonna have separate drinking fountains Okay, how the world's really changing in a number of ways, huh? It's Kumio's America is what we're finding out. Oh. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It's been interesting the kuma- I feel like Kumio is just smugly logging onto Twitter every day and going yeah, that's me

There's gonna be a lawsuit that hits like a bank or a payment processor for killing somebody's free speech Yeah over something and that will be I've seen you talking a lot about that because I know that's something you've suffered from Well, we kicked him off cuz he He didn't he said the word he said the phrase the n-word. Yeah, not the end. We had to remove his banking Yeah, deny him the ability to accept payments. Oh, that'll be 700 trillion dollars. Thank you. That's you're all fired There's gonna be a lot of changes. I'm excited to see where it goes and hopefully I don't get caught up in the crossfire It's no problem. Just say it say the word no I'm just I mean more like you know once you guys get to the genociding of liberals

I'm gonna have to really say where that Trump had You guys That guy's going a little far here, don't you think? I'll go. I'll be right there and go, Guys, maybe we'll walk this back. Maybe we'll walk this back. Maybe we'll walk this back. No one? Oh. I thought if I just kept talking it would eventually fix itself. And unfortunately I was wrong. If you guys do a genocide, at least, you know, give me a heads up.

We'll call it something more fun. Yeah, you're gonna call it a Fuentes Carnival or whatever the fuck. Cause he's gonna be leading the shit. you gotta think about he's going to jail though shouldn't have punched that lady you know kicked her down the stairs kicked down the stairs man his I thought you're gonna bring in mugshot envy mugshot you're right not bad it looks pretty not bad it's pretty good pretty good Nick Fuentes mugshot he knew you't smile, you don't goof around.

Yeah. That dumb bitch. Wow. You know, unfortunately we do in society, he should have just tried to- I was talking about Nick. He should have healthcare at her, you know? Then he would have got away with it. Unfortunately, he was caught on camera doing the deed.

And that's how you get screwed. Guys, biggest problem in the universe, don't forget to vote on all the pile oh I'm linkedin did you see all the people leaving messages on the guys the dead guys linkedin no oh I was fucking forgot to bring health insurance guy yeah yeah let me bring this up it's they're funny who's using link do you use linkedin I have like a thing up there yeah I stopped using mine it's's so annoying. The replies to Brian Thompson on LinkedIn from before the shooting. Yeah, so he made some stupid post about cutting costs, like how great he's doing as CEO. And then everybody's response is how they got their coverage denied.

You're doing a great job at cutting your costs. Not having a single anesthesiologist in network in the entire state of Montana is a great policy to save you money. Hold on, let me find a sound effect before I read these. These are- Because I want people to know when I'm done reading the comic. Yeah, you want to know when, you know, in between each comment. Yeah.

So this is before he was shot, people were coming to him with their tales of being denied coverage. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, okay, so you have No, I don't know if that's the right sound effect for their just to say this is a different comment Okay, so that's only to punctuate the fact that you're moving on to a different comment. Yeah like comment posted. Yeah Yeah, just don't want dates. I don't know what's going on with these. What are you doing? So I didn't I know I think I know So I think get the fuck off the mouse. I'm not... Okay.

Hey Brian, I just spent an hour on the phone battling to get general information for my wife with stage 4 cancer. She's a 25 year old mother of four with abnormal EGFRG. I'd love to share my experiences here. This is clapping, right? This is a loud clap I'm thinking about it now. Maybe you'll- I'm thinking about it now. Maybe you'll- A 25 year old mother of four with abnormal EGFRG.

I'd love to share my experiences here. I feel like this is clapping, right? This is a loud clap in a basketball auditorium. A clap back. That's a guy who just dropped a gym. That's a guy dropping- I meant to stop it. Shut up.

That's a guy in a gym. He dropped a gym mat on an empty gym floor. That's what that is. Brian, this seems like a laughable mission. Ignore the part on YouTube where it clearly says gunshots. That's a gym mat Slapping to the ground for a clap right it's a type of clap by not providing her the basic care to get better and back In her life you continue to delay any decision. Can you play that gym sound effect please from the gym?

Somebody drop there you go they dropped they dropped The only thing I get it There you go, they dropped they dropped a big school gymnasium The only thing I get it Okay, I think the audience understands what we're doing. We don't okay. Well I Know you just lost your cause but this show's still okay like a thing. Can we not okay? You can't take my shows like this times a hunch United Healthcare terminated my 86-year-old mother's Medicare

Advantage plan with no notice on 7-31-22. I learned of it when her pharmacy called me. The best I could get by phone was a re-enrollment to begin September 1. Your company left a senior citizen uninsured for a month with no email sent or even email notifications. That's fascinating. That's very interesting.

And I don't think we need it. OK. Well, that's not necessary. I think we got the point of what you're doing. That's fascinating. That's very interesting. And I don't think we need it. Okay, well that's not necessary. I think we got the point of what you're, we get it, you know. Okay, we can move on from there. I've had UHC. God fucking dammit. United healthcare for the last several years.

I had stage four metastatic lung cancer. Okay, we got your move. We just left UHC because of all the denials for my cancer medication. That's good. Every month there is a different reason for the denial. As of today, we're well over our max out of pocket for the year with having spent well over $20,000. Maybe play that horn.

The horn sound effect. Everybody likes the horn or do the alien. We don't have time to retrieve the money. Do the alien sound effect maybe. Maybe that would work. Comment over. Comment over. You know, we got like a bunch of other sound effects that could we got it you don't got to do anymore

I get it. I get the bit. I'm curious. Money and who's. God damn it. It's just funny Do a womp womp or something Not the gym mat Well alright that was our segment where it's a clap it's a loud clap guys vote on all the problems here at biggestproblem.show No, I didn biggest? my second problem It's pets stepping on your balls. Okay sitting there Musing about things, you know, right trying to think about your life and then your dog or cat Just not your hat typically cats not they do some big cats. They do or they're on they're sitting on you

Yeah, and there's a car alarm that you can't even hear. And they jump up. A door shuts, and you get distracted, and then the animal, AHHH! You know, OHHH! Right on my balls. And then you're like, did one of my balls disconnect? You get a lot of balls. Well you got a big old golden retriever stepping on your balls. You got a little kitty cat No, it's still then it's worse cuz they got the little claws. Well, that's the problem with cats is when they when they they Gigg they get you. Yeah, they stay they slice you up

Or they're sitting there with their elbows in your stomach. Yeah Well, I mean like when you're like get off my stomach Oh right in the balls well being a fat guy the cat gets on top of me and he goes I gotta get this bed prepared he starts going Yeah, oh god man. That doesn't feel that good man. Can you not do that? Usually leaves my balls alone though. I think that's my problem. That's a good one I would usually say it's better than your shitty problems, but your problems were great I had great problems this week. It should be last, but it's still a good problem. Including getting passed over for the big promotion, but thankfully that's a problem that can be easily solved in the near future.

We'll see. Okay, that's the show. Once the audience says what they want. Patreon.com slash biggest problem. I see right now we have 60% saying- Should Vito be a third chair in the Dick Show? No is 40% and fuck no is 60%. How is it 40% 60%? How many people? 881 votes.

Wow. So I only got a win over 60% of the dick show audience. Well no, 40% said no. Oh, okay. You didn't even put a yes option, so. Why would I? No. Okay. I didn't want to embarrass you. No one would vote for you. I just think you're going to do a couple episodes and people are going to go

there's something missing. It's just like a little piece of magic that may be. But I'll let you figure that out. Little. I'll let you figure it out. Big piece of it. You're describing you? Well, I don't want to go ahead and mine.

OK. I'll say, I'll let you figure it out on yourself, and maybe we'll come back. We'll connect up. We'll see what happens. OK, thanks for giving me my time thanks for giving me time to fail. Thanks for giving me enough work. Well, you know what, I want to take your time,

and you know, come back, you give me a call. And you know what, any time you call me up, you go, Vito, I made a big mistake. Clearly, the show. Do I have to start it like that? You know, you don't got to own up to anything. All you got to say is, Vito, I need you in that chair. And I'll say, all right, let's make it happen. Maybe I gotta move things around

in here I don't know. We could possibly clean up the studio that might be nice. What do you mean we? Again with the- I could help. Okay alright. I guess I want to put some- Did you mean you could help or were you saying it like- I help tidy up your shit you always got garbage everywhere I'm grabbing cups and whatever the fuck. Okay. Emptying out Sean's diet coke cans That'll be one last thing I have to worry about you're not gonna have 20 empty diet cokes over there Should keep one empty diet coke. You should glue it to that table. So it's like he's always with us Like a sculpture, you know, you know, I'll dress the real doll up is Sean with the black

You should throw out the real doll. as Sean with the black v-neck. You should throw out the real doll. We don't need that. And a little wig. That thing's fucking cursed, dude. People are worried about the Chris Chan medallion. If there's any curse in this room, it's that horrific fucking sex doll that stares at me with its dead eyes the

entire show. The curse free Sean. Yeah, I think that thing is staring directly at Sean's spot. It probably stared him off the show. I think he didn't want to tell you. He said, also, I've been having horrific dreams of a decomposing woman screaming, kill me, as we should.

Throw that thing in a dumpster. Guys, vote on all the problems that because of the problem of that show. Bonus episode, we will be recording tomorrow live, hopefully. So if you want to check it out Live yeah the link to that but you'll be able to listen to that at patreon.com slash biggest problem and Yeah, a lot of fun stuff going on I'm gonna say it I like the

Astrobar guy The evolution thing was fucking hilarious like the Escobar guy. The evolution thing was fucking hilarious. Everybody had a good time. I had no idea what he was saying or what was going on. It was kind of weird. It was funny. And I have ever since been incorporating it

into my real life to force other people into this moment that I experienced with this evolution. Talking about evolution is the biggest problem. You've been doing that? They're gonna teach all of the interns for the city. What does that mean? I don't know. They come through for their hands-on experience.

Heh, hands-on. Anyways, they come. You said it. And we'll get a body come in, you know, and it'll come from some other embalmer, and we'll have to fix it. And we open them up, and you see a little bit of kitty litter pop out of the inside of them.

And you just go, oh, you know, this is going to be good because you know, the students don't know. And the students are just like, uh, what the fuck is going on right there? And, you know, you'll open them up a little bit. Some of the kitty litter will just fall all the way out and they'll be like, I just look at them and I hit them with a. I just look at him and I hit him with a... HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA That didn't make any sense to me because anyone explain that to me in the comments. I like that Eric Escobar guy There's kids in the letter saying more to hear Eric Talk about kitty litter or a corpse. I don't remember this at all. I think something got cut out

I yeah, it feels like part of this so hard at his joke fucked up the phone Did he tell the students that's evolution for you? Cuz that's a good you can now do an autopsy on that call if you guys liked Eric Escobar I got to tell you watch the game show network. He's on every single game show Cause that's a good, that's a good thing. You can now do an autopsy on that call. If you guys liked Eric Escobar, I gotta tell you, watch the game show network. He's on every single game show. Oh really? Dude, all he does is apply to be on game shows.

He's been on like 50, every week on Facebook he goes, I'm on super pie round table spin around. Like every new game show he's on. And he's been on like, he's been on some of the big ones, too I forget like he was on that one watch game shows. Yeah watch game shows. You'll just see Eric Escobar. He's this I don't know if he's making a ton of money from it I know what I mean a ton of money from money making you know like 500 bucks a thousand bucks and prize winnings or okay?

That game show network every other episode is fucking Eric Escovar. It's really funny In case you really look like you know the biggest problem in the universe more so than girl logic is wife or girlfriend logic my wife's Birthday, and I'm sick. I messed up. I tell her this she goes. Oh, of course. You're sick on my birthday I I you know what I should have known I Said well, do you think this is my fault? She goes, I just think it's funny that you just will happen to be sick on my birthday. Okay. Let's rewind this two days. Do you think it's more of a possibility that I purposely got sick on your birthday or even it has something to do with it? For the last couple

of days, you've been running around with around with like a snotty nose child taking drinks out of my cup, bites off of my plate and all this other shit. Of course, I'm going to get fucking sick. Like, I'm pretty sure this is your fault. Drinking out of the cup, though. Yeah. Why did you get sick on her birthday? You're giving her a very irresponsible fishing. And what you're doing is called giving her evidence. Yeah.

It is very irresponsible. What she's doing is called fishing, and what you're doing is called giving her evidence. Yeah. It is your fault. I mean, I will say, you know, I was a fat guy who was sick on Thanksgiving, which is possibly the worst time for a fat guy to be sick. Because you can't gorge yourself on any other thing. Exactly. I didn't get it. Well, I can't gorge myself in the specific way that you gorge on Thanksgiving. How often do I get a turkey dinner?

Not very often. Did you buy a turkey after Thanksgiving? No, I thought about it. I can't cook a whole turkey for myself. That's a lot of fucking bird. Maybe, I don't know. Could've got some chicken. I'm sorry, and I know you hate long messages,

but I had to say, the only reason that women working in the facilities was an issue with jerking off is because the women in the mail room Which are usually old ladies they have to look through every page of every porno magazine because they can't have any bondage in it They couldn't be at least in my state. There couldn't be it's got to be a state Or abused in any way So they had to look through every single one and they said it was like fucking up their minds or whatever And they said it was like but you're allowed to have pornography in prison

You can't jerk off They have to be like drugs because also I mean there's like these guys in there they've been in there 30 years I mean These guys in there they've been in there 30 years. I mean My first number of porn was there so like so they just like trade around porn like it's a drugs or trade now like drugs like cigarettes or something like an illegal thing in there that you can't have a contraband and Yeah, so everything veto thing is absolute bullshit. There's's no what jerking off while you're in fucking county. Yes, there is I fucking brought in the laws Prisoners like I got trouble for jerking up. It's absolute nonsense. He bro Yeah, I've got more than one of these two

I'm sure if there was a fucking jail. There was pepper spraying guys for jerking off. It was part of their code. Yeah, maybe that happened one time. Probably for some other reason. Bro, I brought in a bunch of fucking- you know what, you're right. I should just get all my problems ten minutes before the show and go, oh, what if your dog steps on your balls? Well, I don't have any fake data. You're shitting up fucking stories about jerking off.

I bring in genuinely researched problems. I bring in interesting shit and- Somebody also told me your retail space thing was not true. Which part? That banks are like requiring the rent to be so high. Oh, okay. A guy told me. Well, you're a guy that told me the opposite, so... I read it!

What do you mean, a guy told me? Okay, I go and read fucking news articles and I go through and I pull out the relevant bits you go to chat GPT Five minutes for the show and go what if a dog steps on your balls? What could happen you got a grok now man grok wrote me some really shitty jokes about that too But the other stuff I did use actually I didn't use that either I had to go look that up Yeah, well, I I think that I tried to do what you're saying I think this whole thing about not being able to masturbate in prison. I do want to make this a pet project I want to get arrested. I think I need to make more people aware of this we need the

What were we gonna call the foundation? Against prison Something no, we got a it's got gotta be called like Jackin' It and then we can come up with like jail advocates for FAP. No, no, no, we had FAPs. It was F-A-P-S. Oh, FAPs, okay. Foundation against prisoner safety or like foundation assisting prisoner safety. Insects? There's something.

And there's an agent at two? In the Discord we've been discussing it. We came up with a good one, we're calling it FAPS. FAPS? Okay, the foundation for the advancement of prisoner sexual satisfaction. The Foundation for the Advancement of Prisoner Satisfaction, FAPS. Okay, and we're making t-shirts, we have a logo, okay, and we need. Cause people don't know about this. People don't know that it is illegal to masturbate in prison. We are obviously all pro masturbators. I mean, these guys are prisoners are saying

it's not, that's not true. Okay, that's, these are guys who got away with it. Okay? But the point is, okay? Cause they were all sneaky Charlies about it, but you don't need to be a sneaky Charlie. You're in the cell, it's your little house. You should be able to jerk off on the walls,

on the whatever. You should be able to do anything. Okay walls on the whatever should be able to do anything Okay, you're okay. Okay. All right, so the foundation for the advancement of prisoner satisfaction will be apps Faps will be moving forward. We're going same. Is it the pedos people the pedo people are different the pet owners people that they're in Australia or whatever. Okay. No, we started that too. Well think, yeah, well we did start that. And the homos. That's true. The homos. I think that the FAPS Association, we need to make people aware, okay? And part one of that is we need to make a video talking about what's going on, interviewing

prisoners who are- While they're jacking off. Well, yeah, sure. They can be anything. We want to know about your experiences. If you know any prisoners who have suffered abuse at the hands of these guards who have not suffered abuse. Well, yeah, we're trying to suffer abuse and we're denied the ability to abuse. Yeah. Okay. Please contact me. I want to be in contact with somebody had to not jack off in prison. We need a model masturbator for the movement. Oh yeah. Okay.

We need one guy and Frank or Rosa Parks. We need a Rosa Parks. Yeah, we need a Rosa Parks. We need a... Yeah, that's what we need. So if you know Rosa Parks of masturbation, please let me know. Okay? And we're gonna solve this. This is the kind of thing that can only be solved... Give up free!

Yes, exactly! You're not gonna make me masturbate in the back of the bus. I'll go right to the front of the prison bus and I'll masturbate wherever I want because that is My right the foundation for the advancement of prisoner satisfaction is here and we will not be denied Here's the short episode guy called in again. Okay. All right. Hey guys I'm the guy who left a voicemail a few weeks ago bitching about the show being too long And I just wanted to say that I'm actually really enjoying that the show has been a reasonable length again for the episodes

Oh and to the commenters who said that I should just stop watching and that they need a super long show They said kill yourself. They did well You know not all of us have a do-nothing job where we could just listen to a wow Podcast at work where it's like an hour of actual show and then three more hours of a couple of retards, no offense, talking about Twitter bullshit or whatever. You know, when I come home... Reminds me, we gotta talk about the Rippaverse! ...down half of the time.

Ah! ...the Rippaverse. Thank you, shit head! You just reminded me, you fucking dummy! I was gonna bring it up. Sorry that your job is so mentally exhausting at the cocksucking factory. Okay, love you, bye. Hey, as long as we're talking about internet bullshit, I do have a present for you.

Okay. Is it good? Yeah. Well, I like it. It's like your last one, the Pac-Man one. This is a present that you commented on, something that you'd really like to see in the studio that you think would make an excellent addition to our ongoing thing. So I've already ripped open the tape for you. Just open that up. Okay. And it's a new little friend,

new little friend for the show. We now have the official Bo Black. It's not from Bo Black. Somebody else sent it to me. I don't know if he signed it, but this is our Bo. I was telling, that guy had a mental breakdown. And the first thing he says is, is, Dick Manchin gave me a bunch of cocaine

You know, there's kind of an unspoken rule if someone gives you a bunch of fucking coke You don't fucking go on the internet fucking talk about it. You dickhead. So anytime I go into a chat He was mentally insane. So it's not true. Obviously. He lying. What the fuck? I get that too because if I go into the chat room They're talking about bo blacks all the comments go. Hey Vito. Did you give bo blacks cocaine? Why did you feed bo blacks cocaine? I go. Hey man. He wanted it. I don't know what you want for me No, nobody fed bo blacks. Oh, man You don't eat cocaine idiot. You also don't blame it for your fucking 10 Made really so this is a this is, Ethan Klein has one on his show.

So we're up with Ethan Klein. Really? Does it have a little yarmulke on it? Ethan Klein has a Bo Blacks plushie front and center, because I think him and Bo Blacks used to argue for no reason. Oh, wow. So now we are among the rarefied few

that have a Bo Blacks plushie. Only 255? I'm worried it's just as cursed as that medallion. It's going to make us autistic and gender fluid if we don't want By the way, oh Bobel X is gender fluid now, yes. What does that mean? That means he's maybe he's a guy maybe he's a girl who knows up to the day. He's got a wiener. He's still got a wiener. Yeah, okay Glad that's the first thing on your mind. Well, I don't even I haven't actually seen it yet cuz I kept it in the box Just tell me about what's going on with the wiener. I gotta say this does not remind me of bo

Does this look like bo blacks to you not really? David the gnomes kid Well anyway, we now have the bo blacks plush will hopefully place. It looks like Stewie kind of doing it does have the Why it has the football head for sure? What's on his shirt? Is that I think that's his little isn't that his channel icon probably? I don't know what it is. Well. Thank you of course We're big fans of Boblaks here, and we hope he gets better with whatever the hell's going on I don't even understand it. You did all his friends are like. I don't understand why Boblax is acting crazy and autistic.

I'm like, it's not like his thing. What do you mean? What are you talking about? When has he not been? Yeah, they're all acting uh... Sometimes those guys, I'm like, come on. Like Nick DiOrio's like, I can't believe Boblax is acting like that. I'm like, I thought that was his whole schtick. What do you mean? That's the only reason to keep him around. You crazy kids. Yeah, you want him to do that. You're so happy that's going on You're like, ah good Boba X is fucking around. We can keep pushing him So you keep saying fucked up shit. I get it. It's funny. It's funny to poke the autistic kid I have people want to know you're doing it on the internet for I mean normally you do it on the playground and not in

Front of millions of people but yeah, whatever you guys do it. I hope you do it on the poke the autistic kid However, you want it's not my fault. All right guys We do have one other thing. I had brought this to Dick's attention because I find this fascinating. Well, if people want it in the Super Chats, you can tell us. If you would like us to talk about the Rippaverse and what it can do for your kids, leave us a Super Chat. The Rippaverse comic for younger audiences.

Comics for younger audiences, choosing content for young eyes. If you'd like to see that red on the show tonight Why don't you leave us a super chat and let us know. Sheep City and is that the guy with the laser eyes the crooked eyes? Yeah, I think I think it is yeah Ooh like that I'm making comics. I'm shipping comics Eric. Eric I gotta get these comics out the door Before Christmas Well now we can now we have a buying guide in case you're looking. You know, it is the Christmas holiday season.

Ison posters are what, a dollar now? Oh, are they? Yeah, so if you're looking to get some rip-a-verse merchandise and you have young children, perhaps we'll take a look at that article tonight if people in the soup chats look like it. Now, the Piss twins that are hunting little boys in their rape van. What do they recommend? Which one of their books are most suitable for young audiences? Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Well if your kids are a fan of what is Lucifer Valentine, they're gonna love- Yeah, and body modification I saw they were tweeting about. You're gonna- your kids are gonna love Yira. I mean it's all in that article, which hopefully we'll get to take a look at tonight. Okay. All right. Well, guys, get your Super Chats in. I do have a mouse. We're gonna read them. I wanna thank again our guests who came in

all the way from Poland to hang out with us. Hopefully you guys had some fun. All right, they had a good time. They got to listen to us argue. Can you hand me another one of their beers? Yes. Thanks. They got to hear us argue about how I wanna make your show better and you are, you know, you're going with Johnny. Okay. Oh, let's see here.

Synthetic Shinobi for five. Thanks for not killing yourselves no matter how tempting it may be now that Sean retired. Cardinal Cardinal for five. We love veto. That's good energy. Synthetic Shinobi for two. Biggest problem is finding, never finding out how cat dog poops. I was not a cat dog fan Never gonna do it. Petty for five. Thanks for not Belly button Coofing yourself you think it poops through the middle part of it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Oh

God petty for five the only wheel I want to see veto spin is on an exercise bike I have been sitting have that for your wheel of consoles But you get on and give it one spin and then see where it goes. I could do some exercise streams if I figure out a good place to do them. HippieTerrors for 20 big dollars on the board. I knew who Hutch was before he was a grifter. He was another guy who made gameplay videos on YouTube and he even reviewed games on Machinima. PS, I sent this exact message two weeks ago, but you pigger lovers never read it. Have you talked to Hutch lately, Dick? Uh, no, he was talking shit. You guys really need a second showdown it's like faded now. Now the Trump has won. Somebody needs to arrange that on their channel and invite both of you. Yeah he should call into my show. Or he should call into your show.

I gotta see him I gotta watch him talking shit I haven't I haven't watched that video I've been busy. He made a whole video talking shit about you? I don't know. He was upset cuz I called him a race trader. Well there's a lot of good clippers out there guys keep clipping. Clip Sahama put up some great clips last week from your show as well. Oh I bet he did. He did so he has a you know we had a lot of great clippers in the audience. Hippie, Terrorist or Five, also Richard being a father is the biggest shock I've had in years. Congratulations captain. Oh to congratulations. Yeah thank you. I'd love to take you out to dinner sometime you know. Who's that for? No mostly for me of course. Take me out on a nice hike. You can come along. I'll take you on a hike. You want to go on a hike? Yeah sure. I'll go for a hike. Not really. Yeah exactly you don't want to go for a hogging hike. Black Crimson for 5 Australian thanks for the snacks thanks for not killing

yourselves I'll miss you Sean congratulations want to go frogging. Black Crimson for five Australian, thanks for the snacks, thanks for not killing yourselves. I'll miss you, Sean. Congratulations, Dick, on being a dad. Has man for two, Master Son, Father of the Master Son. Congrats. LJ Clobberino, I'm looking forward to your next book, Sons Are Better Than Daughters. Ooh, that could be fun. Say that.

There you go. Let's see, LJ Clobberino for five, Vito should testify as victim at the Eric Chalai trial. Get reparations and plug. Super killer with a picture of a pig. Thank you. SyntheticShenope for two.

Vito, explain Max Cool, please. Well, remember we talked about the AC, your air conditioning unit? Yeah. Yeah, Max Cool. That's it? Well, he's the, I had him as Shemp Masters, but then people pointed out that it was too close to Dick

Masterson. I said, oh, shit, you're right. That is too close. Yeah. So I had to change it to Max Cool. Maybe don't be like Deep State Derek. I could make it Deep State Derek. Without being Alex Jones.

That's the secret. See, that's the... Yeah, Deep State Derek needs to take on a life of his own. There are some things I know about Deep State Derek. He loves Baron Trump. I'll tell you that about him. He thinks Baron Trump is the perfect man. I think that's weird. Well, deep state Derrick's not a very normal guy. But he's like 18, isn't he? Like, why do you? He's the model for the, he's the model for the, as deep state Derrick would say, he'd go, he's the perfect

specimen in the future. The whole human race is gonna look like that. We're just gonna clone Barron. He's gonna impregnate every woman in this fucking country. You definitely don't wanna talk about it. Trump's gonna give him, what is that fucking Casablanca? Prima Nacta, he's gonna let him knock up all the fuck. Casablanca. Play it again Sam, we'll cover up the fun. Casablanca. Casablanca. Play it again Sam.

I'm implementing Casablanca on everybody in this country. Anybody wants to come in legally, not legally, you gotta get through Baron first. I don't like this. He's gonna be king of the wall. I don't like this. King of the wall. King of the south. King of the south, yeah that's good.

It's gonna be like a... It's not about like, you gotta stop talking about guys breeding like Superman Breeding but look at him. He's like eight feet tall with the heart of a fucking lion Baron Trump He was bred underground to be the first man, but stop talking about superheroes breeding with women He's gonna be like a very remember like Lord of the Rings like Game of Thrones I didn't watch that bear Trump's gonna be the king of the Rings? No, Lord of the Rings, like Game of Thrones. I didn't watch that shit. Barrett Trump's gonna be the king of the wall.

Like, you know, he's gonna man the wall to make sure nobody gets in. Yeah. I don't know. He's gonna be wall master. There's a midget in Game of Thrones, right? Yeah, he visits the wall. Is it Targaryen? Tyrnans, Targaryens?

Tyrion is not a Targaryen, he is a Lannister. Oh, okay. You didn't watch Game of Thrones? No, that shit's dumb. Oh man, you're- aww dude You gotta watch Game of Thrones. It's like stupid. Oh, look at me. I'm the king of fucking Gilborn Not me, I've got a dragon sword. That is the worst summary of Game of Thrones ever. Look, there's a big wall, there's a bunch of zombies Stupid. It's a very interesting show. Soap opera, shit. It's not. Let's see, Kufra, huge 50 on the board, says for the diaper and new co-host fund, and for Vito's booty.

Vito's booty has successfully been paid for. Well. Cardinal, Cardinal. You're gonna have to get a... What? Yeah, well you gotta get a new treasure chest box. I know that okay So vetoes booty is empty very exciting news about vetoes booty. Yeah, you destroyed the box and Randy is here come on in buddy Oh, thank you. Hold it for now. I have this beer

All right, trying to keep Maddie back because she's at a torn ACL. Well, thank you Coop for the 50 Cardinal Cardinal for five I want to dedicate this message to Deca Sookie the only friend I have left, oh and Zeta too I guess. Dekosugi for five says, everything's fine. And J-Rob of detailing Ireland for five euros and another five euros, he says, congratulations Rich, great news. Thank you. And cheers as always, cheers to you. Thank you J-Rob.

With our delicious Polish beers here tonight. Oh, J-Cloborino says, Dick, don't let't let veto near your kid even a babysit I'm gonna be a great uncle. I think I'm gonna be the godfather. I've already proposed it to a 80s girl I said well, you know, sir, you got if you're gonna get a godfather. Why not an Italian guy? I mean, come on who would be a better godfather? I Don't know you got to clean your act up a little bit. What do you mean? All right look you gotta stay You gotta Give me one year you one year. I gotta get under one year and release a comic. One year from now

You know look at Vito and you're gonna go that is a guy who was motivated And put it all together Either that or I'm gonna give you the exact same speech. I'm giving you right now, okay We're making it work. Lawrence Devaney for five feels lucky to have had 10 years of shows. Keep it up. That's true. You know what? Not a lot of podcasters keep it. Keep it going as long as you go 10 years.

Yeah, no, that's a rare. You got to be in the one percent of podcasters there. Probably lower. Probably much lower. Probably point zero zero. Most podcasts under after like five episodes. Yeah. Do you have any advice to anyone seeking

to have a successful podcast and keep it going for that long? Just like really betray people and use them. The only thing that matters is the show. And there, what works is forcing them, learn comfort zones, learn how people's, what people's boundaries are, and then violate them on purpose. Deliberately. When it most benefits you. Right. That's good. And monetize it.. Always make sure the monetization ranks number one. My advice is to use a series of escalating emotional tactics to trick your co-host into giving you half the show before they've realized what they've done.

So that's another tactic you can try. Where is that scroll? I don't know where the scroll is. I've got to hang it up at some point. I've got to get it laminated. Lance Becker provides, as a father hearing about a little master sin on the way, it fills me with a sense of pride and hope for the future.

Vito, you're okay. Wow, thanks Lance. On the John- You know they're not saying like Vito, you should do it too. Because I've already said, if I had a kid I would abuse him for TikTok views and it would not be healthy for either of us. Like Michael Jackson?

Yeah, well I'm gonna make your kid a TikTok, no, I'm just kidding. kid a tix-hat- no I won't. You see those fucking Costco guys though? Like that's the model, okay? All they do is go chicken bake, chocolate cookie, chicken bake, and then they get to be on like wrestling and they get fucking- They really just don't care. Dude, they're not doing anything!

It's so weird. That dad has no artistic integrity at all. No! There's nothing going on there. There's nothing behind the eyes. They're just like dead-eyed weirdos, man. They don't mix it up at all. It's just always choco-choco. We do the boom! Is it a boom or a doom? We're at Junkie Konkie's Pizzeria! And it's so blatantant the like the fucking product

Please with them like I've become like institutionalized is your home insurance a boomer a dome She's why are people still falling for this like can't you guys do like a meme coin or something so we can have a reason to? That would be fun like just doing this is not gonna. I can't hate this Well, I do like the Rizler though. I got nothing but respect for well I do like the Rizler though I got nothing but respect for the Rizler the Rizler yeah the little the guy's not even their brother I know they just found it just a guy the kid they found on YouTube and there's a we like this kid and now he's their hype man yeah let's I wonder what's gonna happen there something about that situation makes me think like

some bads gonna happen, you know? Yeah. Someone's gonna develop a drug, it's gonna be like, oh the Rizzler has a drug problem at age 12 or something. He's fatter than fuck! I know! He has a problem! But like, you know, he's a kid so he gets away with it, but when he's like a 15 year old 400 pound kid, then you're gonna go, oh this Rizzler bit is not nearly as funny as it used to be. Chubby little kid is funny a chubby big guy nobody likes this nobody wants this On the job for five Canadian now even 80s girl will be guilty of child trafficking What the fuck was that comment? I don't know what the nigglers talking about at all. This is horrible

I that one went over my head for a second there. What the fuck? Are you retarded? You met her in person and she was nice to you. What the fuck is the matter with you? I read that too quickly to realize. And for Canadian dollars? Yeah, okay, Niggler. People always go, Hey, how come you guys aren't playing the Niggler stuff on the show? I'm like, I don't know.

What the hell kind of comment is that? Anyway, pineapple man for two, biggest problem, the DEA band Quaaludes. That's an interesting one. Cameron for two, hey UHC, it's just been revoked. It's just been revoked. Okay. I'm so glad you don't have that sound effect on the board. See, Nickler, that's funny. This was what you're about to say is actually funny. I'm so glad you don't have that sound effect on the board.

See, Nickler, that's funny. This was what you're about to say is actually funny. I just don't play that sound effect. Pigeon for 10, laughing my ass off, Dick's going to have a kid before Superkiller comes out. No, no. Drew P. Balls for 2. What's with the weird audio pop?

I think we're good. Oh, is that really happening? Our good? No, no, I think we're fine. Riketa Law with a big 20. We love our good friend, Nick Riketa. Congratulations. Can't wait to tell your kids about his gay dad.

Well, when I bring him to Rikers, you can tell him whatever you want. Or whatever your prison is. Local prison you're going to be in. Hey, I'll say this, Nick. We're going to make sure you can masturbate in there. Now this guy knows he's gay because he's getting fucked up the ass in federal prison. Now you're going to be taken away, you're going to be locked away, but we're going to make sure that you can jerk off because that's what matters.

Dean Chag for two. For Sean, thanks for the laughs, boys. Yeah, you're welcome. For Terjorie for five. Imagine setting up a repeat joke, Super Chat, but it's a day. Chuck, congrats in your ass. Oh, thank you. Maybe people want that, Dick and Vietz maybe people want that not Riley for 5

Canadian everyone should refund super killer and crowdfund Sean's return I don't know what it would take they would take a lot Alex Yick for two well Sean's gonna manage the audio for the super killer animated series don't worry he'll still be a part of the universe Alex Yick for two congratulations on the baby pretty cool plot twist we do have to mention guys Yick for or Yick for two, congratulations on the baby, pretty cool plot twist. We do have to mention guys, Yick 4, or Yick I.V., I forget what it is. Great plug. Go on Steam, shut up, it's Yick, Y-I-I-K, go on Steam, get the new version of Yick, it's all expanded, new bosses, new characters, new locations. Get to buy it again or you just download it

or what's the... I think if you already, I'm not going to get ahead of myself. I think you might get it- go download it. Is it free? No, I don't know It's not what I suddenly know that just go. They just go and they're like, oh, it's two bucks. All right I'll get it then look five bucks I will say yick guys maybe send us some details about how to plug this more appropriately But as we know you were already a character in the game This is a $2 ad that you're giving right now. This is not an ad, that's not even them, but we're in the game.

Oh, that's not them? No, that's like some guy. It says Alex Yick. Maybe it's, it might be them, I don't know. We're in a video game, that's pretty cool, we should talk about that, they don't have to super chat. They did a nice thing by putting us in there. And the Kiwi Farms guys were playing it.

The Kiwi Farms guys are mass refunding the game. They're like, I can't believe Dick and Vito are in Yik. This is the worst day of my life. They got all upset because they were playing it and found us in the game. Yeah, exactly. They're like, this Yik game is pretty cool. And then me and Dick are in it. Imagine that. Imagine that you hate us so much and you're playing a video game. Alright, just play the video game and then Dick and Vito. Hey, what's up? What the fuck? What the fuck? I'm excited about it guys if any of you get to my boss battle

Please get some video footage of it because I haven't seen it in action yet, and I want to see it Oh yeah, me too Did you record some voice lines for it? I recorded some voice lines. I recorded your voice lines. Oh good I wanted to see if they used mine or not so maybe they just replaced me with you Psychonautical for 20 someone put vetoes face on the black guy rubbing hands behind a tree with a caption about dick's kid turning 10 Congrats have Larry on soon to give you an eye rolling lesson on how to be a cool dad go fuck yourself love lawnmower man Oh, thanks for the 20 bucks. Thank you sir Cardinal Cardinal for two Don't do that to Vito's Vito don't do that to that meme don't do that Vito do you still watch things on CDs?

I don't know is that what I said Cardinal Cardinal five CDs nuts oh you got me you got me thanks for five what do you got oh I lost the gun sound effect well I mean the mattress sound the mattress sound effect geeks for five gamers have a problem with veto because he can't get supersonic Reketa live for law for five says it was baby powder oh there you go. That's why I was using it too. Yeah, that baby powder really throw you for a loop. DiamondG for $247 more like max weight. Okay. edurtar for $5 sick hat today. What do I got my PlayStation hat? It's classic. Agnostic. This old thing. This old thing. I mean, this old thing. I'm

wearing this one in a while. Agnostic is a monkey for a monkey for five either. Do you really think AI is just a I love eating food Groupie balls for two epsilon Tony is not funny or interesting Johnny Rock and five saying what you were saying that's what you were saying after the meetup I did not say that I don't know why people are saying I talked the only thing I said about Tony was I can't believe he asked me to pick him up at LAX After the I don't know what he asked me. Yeah, he didn't even ask That's the big problem Johnny Roger five you do not prefer the episode He forced hacked the movies to do a surgery for five Tony from hack the movies will always be a head of

Frog Tony in her eyes referring of course to his giant head. Michael winning for five this show has really gone downhill without Sean. Sean has been on one episode of this show. Jiung Wang for 10 Australian. I love it when Dick describes himself. His hands make open palm straight forward gestures. When he describes Vito, Dick's hands make a slithering and twisting motion as if to say Vito you suck. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Snake. I'm a very sneaky snake. slithering and twisting motion as if to say veto you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Snake.

I'm a very sneaky snake. Slithering. Yeah, I've slithered into your life and helped you make an extra 6K a month. I'm very sorry. Oh, you're helping me. I'm so sorry that I gave you a working comedy dynamic that you struggled for years to figure out. And now you finally have it.

You're welcome. Oh man, that was such a surprise after dealing with your bullshit for months. It's a give and take relationship, okay? And then I'm like, oh, finally things are back to normal. Sean goes, I quit. I'm like, ah, this is like, I was like at the very bottom. Now I can finally get back to normal, I quit.

Everything's gonna be fine. I was like the weasel in Roger Rabbit it's all gonna work everything's gonna be fine well guys the podcast continue on and they are stronger than ever strategy for two veto brings a foreskin a man named dick defends us is that a quick sell for two veto did you get? I heard there was a quake. Nailed it. Is that for another two? It says RIP Sean. Oh too soon. KGonePose for two. Hard work gets you nowhere these days. Vito wins. There you go. Coof for five. Thanks for not hiring Vito as Sean's replacement and for not killing yourself.

You're welcome Coof. The malware for two says stop eating Johnny's Tim Tams Vito. Is that something that came up on the show? I ate all the Tim Tams Yeah Johnny came in and he goes I knew I did not eat more than one or two of those But that you ate one sometimes it gets you okay I'm sorry you put food on the table in front of me, and you go. Oh, I hope nobody ever eats them ever There's a little cookie snack You were set up what yeah you put snacks on the table.

Coofer 2. Baldur's the reason Sean left. There we go. Dirty Dalish says I'm a filthy... No, she says Johnny will always be better than you, Vito. It's okay. See? I'm a filthy. What was that? But what was that? It's just like an

instinctual attack on someone you know. She's saying something negative. I'm fucking up, just messing around. Good old dirty Dalish. I heard she was on the Dick Show. I heard it went great. You know, was she reading the net?

Well, she didn't do any reading. Oh, yeah. What would happen there, exactly? I mean, Nick's baby powder. OK, a little too much baby powder in the studio. Is that a quick self or two? Mom and dad aren't getting remarried. Crying emoji. Euthanasia enthusiast for seven Canadian. Of course Vito has snipped. It all makes sense now. Wang deficient. There's no way to go through life. Makes it look bigger.

Stratergery for two. Vito chucks dicks in her ass. What a twist. Chris onion for five Australian. Accidentally voted no to Vito veto before I read F no was an option Yeah, the hell away from the dick show veto you bitter F. Johnny is a national treasure Okay, what do you think he meant? Well, there's a couple different ones Fat perhaps or maybe fa something The malware for to veto can be the guy laughing in the background always The malware for 2vito can be the guy laughing in the background. Always useful. Pineappleman for 2 mentions Nick Fuentes got arrested

and has a mugshot. I know. I'm so jealous. Do you want to look at it real quick? Can we bring it up? Let's bring it up for two seconds. We can analyze the Nick Fuentes mugshot. I think our viewers would like to see that.

Wow, it's already made the news even. Oh, yeah. Look at this shit, man. It's not bad. It's not bad. It's not made the news even. Oh yeah, look at this shit, man. It's not bad, it's not bad. It's not Trump's mugshot, I gotta say that. It's kinda like Frank Sinatra's mugshot. They made him raise his face up too much is the problem. Is that gonna be short, you think?

It might be. They might've said you gotta look up at the camera. He's not looking straight across, that's how you nail it. Dead-eyed straight across. You can see from the profile he's kinda looking at the woman. It's kinda like a, yeah, what do you want? It's kinda like a redwood dark claws. It's a bit of a challenge.

Like an expression of youth in it, I think. Yeah. That, yeah. His eyebrows look very thick. It's a bit of him saying him saying uh Saying some horrible things he looked like he did something he looks like he would do it again May now maybe You know you cooked it kicked away. It looks like he's in yeah, what of it? See here's what I'm gonna say though is a Nick Foynton has a reputation as a joker

I would have tried to sneak a smile in if I was him a little cocky smile But they don't let you do that they probably told him that he's not joking around About kicking fat women down the stairs. I don't know what he's joking around about. I'm not look I'm not a big Nick flint as you show up to somebody's house. I'm getting fucking pepper sprayed man You're getting pepper sprayed you can kick down the stairs I've already said from a moral standpoint. I get it. You know from a legal standpoint you might face the office of fucking I Understand wanting to shoot. I understand why you want to shoot a guy in the back of the head. I get it

You know society might have a problem with it That's the problem. Well you guys got a guy in there you can you can do whatever you want pardon this guy Yeah, come on. You probably could I am waiting for the Trump pardons because there could be some interesting ones oh yeah yeah there could be some good ones well you know obviously you're Jan six guys yeah we got to get what's his name we gotta get Jay Johnson Joy Johnson at the top of the list gotta get him out yeah who else is there there's somebody else but I can't remember right now the top of my head you can't don't give it to that mayor in New York though. He's fucking around. He's playing a game.

Make him do a little dance first. Okay, well, I don't want to make the black man do a little dance famously. I don't think that's the way to... They love dancing. What are you talking about? Okay, well, that's what they've, that's where we get into trouble. They love dancing. Yeah, he looks good. They naturally have hands for... He looks serious. He looks serious. He does look serious. I like dancing. Yeah, he looks good. They naturally have hands for- He looks serious. He looks serious.

He does look serious. I like that. Yeah, that's a good shot. Well, there you go. That is the Nick Fuentes mug shot. Let's see. Lou Skunt for two, less veto, more deep state, Derek. Yeah.

Maybe I'll just become that guy. None of that breathing shit though. Look, he likes Baron Trump and he thinks he's the model for the next stage of human evolution. Yeah, okay. It's not breeding, it's eugenics. Well, like obviously Deep State Derek wants Barron Trump to propagate Trump's, you know, genetic line. Well don't do like a semen shooting thing when you're describing it. Well how else? What else would he do?

He's not gonna hand it out like fucking, Barron Trump's gonna go around, he's gonna fuck everybody. He's the king of the wall for the guys. That's a veto thing. He's the king of the wall! Okay, Icon Bucket says for two, Veto clearly caused that earthquake. Crazy Cat for two, the dick show needs to be an oasis away from veto. Well maybe Deep State Derek could be on the Dick Show.

Now that would be a pretty interesting situation. Charles Baker for two. Veto having two shows to walk off of would be lame. Knucking Foots for five. Thank you for not killing yourselves, fellas. Congrats on the conception Internet Dad and 80s girl. Bring on the dad jokes. Sure.

Rex Sexton for five. Similarly to Sean, I was also legit sad when Maddox retired from Banana Docs. I can't believe he stopped. He was so committed to Banana Docs, and he just docked it off. I know, it sucks. Oh, everybody, oh, you're a strawberry. You're a kiwi.

He was getting good at it, too. He was getting good. CaptainBlackBread for 10. Are you ever going to let me on the Dick Show to tell my Adam from Houston story, if not why? I don't know you have to be in the discord when we record on Sunday. Synthetic Shinobi for five. I'm a veto file, but I don't think he should be on TDS because it would just turn into the biggest problem in

the universe and I think distance is good for keeping you two from burning out. Alex Schatz for five. You're an idiot, it would be the best show ever. Go on. Matt Przecinski for 10. Why do they call it an oven when you ove in the cold food and out hot eat the food? Yeah, that's true. Very good. SB for 10. Ripshawn died of as-itis, just like we always warn him about. Praying Vito doesn't get crushed by a stack of GameCubes,

or else Dick will be all out of it. I have a precarious tower of Sega Genesises right now that is scary. Synth synthetic shinobi for two Dicks is that Josh Denny behind sonnich no that's Alex Yick from the hit video game Yick now available on Steam guys Yick why IIK Massachusetts man for 50 thank you very much thank you John breaks bad for five. Congrats on the baby. Thank you. Thank you, John. Kato. I'm going to say thank you as well. It's kind of like our baby.

You know? Like I kind of created the atmosphere in which you felt confident enough to have a child. You really, like any time you hear thanks, you think it's for you. Or you want to respond to it somehow. Well, I think subconsciously. To like ameliorate the situation.

Like you see like a negative Yeah, you see a response and you want to respond to it to satisfy it. That's what it is I just think you know like people I think I deserve some of the credit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Cave on the Swiss for five get me one of those squeakers. Oh, yeah, I have to steal a pit people want these pigs Yeah, knock yourself out. Jav City for five. SK2 better not be fundraised. Especially after the SK1 disaster. You raised a hundred thousand for a late comic and won't even apologize to us with free shipping. Here's my apologize. Shut the fuck up. It's gonna be a great comic. That's your apology. Charny for two.

Delay, deny, defend. Was that it? it what was it it was deny something depose deny what is that from I don't know that was he what he wrote on the bullets oh yeah oh is she talking about super killer maybe perhaps delay deny delay defend defend no refund yeah boom disciple of daggone I miss my Sean for five disciple of daggone for two veto do the Sean jaw twitch do it for Sean Yeah. Boom. Disciple of Dagon, I miss my Sean for five. Disciple of Dagon for two. Vito, do the Sean jaw twitch. Do it for Sean.

Diamond for two. Diamond G for two. Deny, defend, depose, were the words. There it was. Not Mothman for two. There's only darkness now. Jeff M for two. The self-checkout problem seems strangely familiar.

I don't know what you're talking about. Diamond G for two. They are eating. They are eating the pets. Eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat about. Diamond G for two, they are eating, they are eating the pets. I don't know if they're not eating the pets. Stupid

son. Moronic. V2K Gaming with $100 out of nowhere. Thank you V2K Gaming. You know what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna take that money and I'm gonna use it to buy a copy of Yik on the Steam. Big benefits for five, what comes out first is super killer Dick's baby also the United Healthcare claims now rate is 32% Yeah, the industry average is 6% or 16% big fan guys. Let's get a let's get a sound effect to cap No, no, how about like a like a clown like a honking horn or okay? Here's something fun really we got a fun like a fun. This is what we play for stats on the show Stat stat cannon I don't. That's a stat blast. It's a stat cannon. I don't think that's a stat gun.

United Healthcare... It still has the word gun in it, okay? Take the word gun. Take the word cannon out. Here comes a stat. It's a stat balloon. United Healthcare had double the denials of every other healthcare agency. It's a balloon at a child's birthday party. And they were so excited about the balloons yeah

Okay, well, I'm just gonna leave this stream. Where you okay? I think it's off We are still on YouTube for the next 15 minutes everybody get your super What? No, no no no no no no I Get a desk you can get a gun fucking Later you only a download fucking fucking noise. We don't need it. We don't need it. We don't need this We have it on you don't need sound effects on your little stupid board. Why don't you play me go? Whatever the fuck Play one of the millions of other gay fucking sound effects you got

Just fucking calm down Jesus Get the laser gun. That's fine We can get the laser gun out then it's a laser that could be anything Where is this? This is why I didn't want you to download Folders are retarded be of all I don't want this fucking idiot. That's the sound that's a download sound okay, okay? I just need my stats blast Dick is such a grandpa when it comes to the computer, he has no idea.

How would you be doing this better? I would go to Chrome and I would say open download folder to find the exact- I'M IN THE FUCKING DOWNLOAD FOLDER YOU COCKSUCKER! Okay, well then drag it into the fucking thing, grandpa! RAAAGH! And there we go. Okay, give me a stat. 90% of healthcare insurance companies don't cover cancer

That's not the fucking sound that I wanted This is why I don't want to waste time with this because you're gonna get all Important nobody needs to hear this Someone died for these for these stats. I'm trying to raise awareness That's man no one else gets the brave and valiant stats man fighting back again messing with the mouse fuck you Wait a minute, but Johnny the audio engineer could have found you a sound effect See Sound you're not even testing you don't even know it's a good one. I know it's a good one.

It's the same one, you just downloaded the exact same sound effect again. No it's not, it's not. Replace it. Okay, give me another stat about healthcare. 25% of healthcare officials are the spawn of Satan. No, that's not a stat. Okay, 2% of healthcare is found by murdering puppies. You don't have any stats at all, you're just making this shit up. Why, you are the one who's supposed to have stats! Okay, two percent of health care is found by murdering puppies You don't have any stats at all you just why you are the one who's supposed to have steps This way you should research your problem isn't going to fucking grok Five seconds before the show why am I supposed to have the health care staff hold on hold on hold on hold on health care How much? Does the average American spend please derail? Please derail, like, this is a 10 minute bit we have to do?

It's a fucking, I'm doing a fucking service! Okay. The average annual health insurance premium is $8,400 for single coverage and $24,000 for family coverage. Stat blast. Stat blast. Congrats on getting stat blasted everyone I'm easy are you satisfied are you satisfied with your stat blasts it's funny it's better than a fucking new stat blast fucking idiot where's the thing now here it are so wound up it says right there

Earn. Oh can you move this another stat blast while you're at it? No it's not a stat. You don't have any fucking stats If the if the super chat guys have a stat, I'll hit with the stat blast. It's that simple We're gonna get stat blasted off this fucking platform What is wrong with the fucking stat blast? Okay Frank 12 for 5 people always say they hate Robin blasted off this fucking platform. What is wrong with the fucking stat blast? Whatever, shut the fuck up. OK. Frank1245, people always say they hate Robin, but I think she was there because her and Howard

are Gossipy Queens and are always on the same wavelength. Robin's OK. She is not nearly as, you know what? We all love Robin Quivers. Yeah, what are you talking about? V2KGaming with another $50. What's up, man? Also, Vitas Boots. Thank you. I hope they never catch that hitman guy

I'm right there with you. Mr. Absurd survive. Get a job crims. Oh you bum knocking futz for five says I love that veto brings in not enough self checkouts when Maddox brought in self checkouts as a problem Yeah, there's an interesting twist that dot why 2k gaming for another 50 Vito's booty and he says I love the SFX I won't say what kind of sound effects they are because clearly again, it's a gym last. It's a blast Metaphorical blast keep it. He says we should keep Okay, so So there is no it was Vito's booty was here put this in there No, okay So there is no... Well, Vito's booty was... Here, put this in there. No.

Okay, it was Bo Black's. Bo Black's was Vito's booty. Graham Casper 5, Dick, you mentioned that outdoor mall near your old man with expensive rent. I worked at the Apple store there and the rent was close to six figures a month. Jesus H. Oh, did you really? You might know my sister's husband. Oh, you work at the Apple store?

He worked around there, yeah. Oklavich for two. At least I still have my golden Shawnees smooches. I also still have my Shawnees. I never got a golden one. Slim Willis for 96 for two. Says, I'll host TNG with you Vito. Quit bugging.

Dick, Tuesday Night Gryff may return. We'll see. Slim Willis, I should do a tryouts. Ed Chambers for five. Can I buy more Pokemon and Magic cards from Vito later tonight? Maybe. I've been on Whatnot having fun. Guys, if you want to get the new Magic set foundations, I'd love to do a break, so come on by. Also, Cameron for two says put the doll on a cross.

Oh yeah, put him on like a Christian cross. Well hold on, somebody might, what do you call it? That'd be cool. We might, hold on, we might not be doing videos booty yet Okay, this is something else okay, it's a present. Oh I get a present The whole thing it's like a night of a million gifts tonight Everybody's getting am I reading the letter? Yeah, okay Somebody created a

Zazzle gift just for you! Dick and Vito, Merry Christmas, a little booty for my favorite pirates from Ray Ray using Zazzle. I've used Zazzle. Oh, thanks Ray Ray. Zazzle is a good company actually. I don't know why I'm doing a Zazzle promo now, but. Use a promo machine man, you can't turn it off. I used to get hats doing a Zazzle promo now, but... You use a promo machine, man. You can't turn it off. I used to get hats made from Zazzle back in the Yang days. When I was dropshipping Yang mer- Cause you can dropship it. Some people pay me thirty dollars and I print them out at cheap five dollars Zazzle hat. Amazing. That's the Yang days, man.

It was a nice hat. It was a nice hat. I wish I still had one of those. Jesus Christ, how much- Well, I guess it's a mug, so it's probably good that it's wrapped up. Okay. This says Vito's booty and it has a delightful picture of both of us. This is from Ray Ray who does these excellent watercolor illustrations with the Ray Ray is happy on there. And I assume the other mug is one for you as well. Thank you. This will be good for my delightful coffees. Thank you Ray Ray.

And uh god I wish you'd given me something to promote but you got a great Twitter which uh what is his Twitter handle? I can't remember it. This does great work. We love Ray Ray. We will end the forever wars from Bobby. Clean up the government, increase wealth for all, and tell Americans the truth. Robert F Kennedy Jr. Text Bobby to 2241 to join the movement. These are for us, or maybe they're both for me. Bobby Kennedy? Yeah, because it says make America healthy again. I thought Bobby Kennedy was dead. You text, well you can text, the numbers aren't dead.

You text Bobby to that number to join the mailing list. This is from. Why do you text Bobby? Why don't you text, well he is Robert, I guess. So Robert is from why do you text Bobby? Why don't you text well? He is Robert I guess It's a Robert is so he's also Bobby What's the what's the tax the fucking Bobby to get on the mailing list? It's a joke. It's a joke for these fucking hats I don't know make America healthy again. Yeah, thank America healthy. I'm saying which is the Kennedy that got shot in the ballroom I thought

Yes, what's the one that crashed the plane and killed all those women? I don't know. It was also Bobby. No, there's John F. Kennedy jr. Okay. What's the one that drove off a pier and drowned? That was Ted Kennedy. That was Ted see yeah, okay. I drove my car off a pier and I Drowned a woman. No, no, no, no, no, none of that. And then I swam to shore and I was so dazed I... See, I only ended up doing a Jewish lady.

That's the worst impression. Err, I drowned a woman in Pawtucket. Eye patch from... You got another eye patch? Make America healthy again. Team Kennedy, I'm gonna put this on Kennedy is gonna take all these seed oils out of my body. That's what's important. I don't know Thank you very much there we go Wow, it really is Christmas time

Yeah, we got a bow black slush. We got a mug. We got beer. I got a big cookie We got a bo black slush, we got a mug, we got beer, I got a big cookie Look at my big cookie Oh shit, okay those are Those are for something else Yeah, and then someone sent this in Baby shit Uhh A little early to be sending in the baby stuff, but sure

Well, it's also like really cheap That looks like shit, what is that? Oh, this is isopropyl alcohol and other cleaning This is to clean up the The use this from your use this stuff to clean the plasticizers off the plastic from Patrick. Okay, you've got oh Rags yeah people were giving these little like homegrown tips for dealing with sticky plastic But like I said, I think the problem is okay in six months. It just comes back. So all right Is that it's a stopgap. No, that's not it.

We gotta do the rest of these. Where's my mug? It's in the box. Okay. Thank you for all the... Thank you everybody for all the presents. We deeply appreciate it. I mean, they're not labeled, so I assume.

Pick the one you like the most. Stratergery for two says, please talk about the reverse. It chucks dicks in our ass. TBF for five, no way that being exposed to veto stink once a week didn't render dick an 80s girl sterile. So smelly, absolutely horrible. I smell great. Joe Cool for two, you should get Ethan Klein on the show.

Shut up. Great guy, Gabe, for 279. What if your kid looks like Maddox? OK. Roy Gene for five. Get Johnny Somalia's replacement. A whole new crowd watching the big American Pine Show. Oglebitch for two.

Please don't get Ethan Klein on the show. And MC Lightsaber for 50 says, please tell us more about the Rip-A-Verse. I feel like we should learn about what Rip-A-Verse comics are suitable for our children. Oh, I don't know. It's kind of late now. Two, two thirty.

Dude, it's eight thirty. We can bank. Come on. All right, all right, right all right people want it this is important information it's the holiday shopping season and people are wanting to know they want to buy comics for kids as we know kids love reading more than anything in the fucking world so obviously you would want your favorite anti woke you to read comics reading. It's better than nothing.

Well, don't you think? Not these. Don't you want your kids to read in J3PO's fucking whatever book? Won't that inspire them to? Daddy, how do you pronounce this? Black is how you pronounce that. How do you pronounce this character's name?

Well, guys, this exciting article comes to us straight from repreverse.com. This is comics for younger audiences. Now, I just want to make sure this image, yeah. So these are of course the main characters. This is the buying guide for Christmas. This is your Christmas buying guide. Featuring what looks like a middle-aged African woman.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. With wide open eyes, most of them. It's very, the art is very bizarre for these books. And then she's got these... But then it's like weird. It's like this mix of like hyper realistic face and like gummy bear fingers. You're like, bro, you got to pick a lane. What is this? How does she have lipstick and like sexy lips? Dude, she has like big... Yeah, like fucking like thick...

I don't know what's going on. It's a very bizarre visual style. She's like starving Marvin Arms. Bro, it's so, some of the art they've been putting out, like the previews, I like want to tell, I don't want to, but I want to go, Jay, you got to shake these guys. I'd be like, bro, this looks like shit.

You got to clean up my fucking car. Jay 3PO? Jay 3PO, yeah. This looks like shit. Drunk 3PO or whatever the, it looks, dude, some of the pages are just like sloppy It's like they didn't even color inside the lines. It's really weird Anyway guys were choosing content the guy running what kind of shoot was is he like Oliver twist what century there's those shoes from?

Brown dress shoes like he's with no size on his way to the the stock Accounting office he's on his way to get some porridge from the orphanage. Make sure there's still some left. With his hunchback? Well, these are the... Why are his eyes like that? Yeah, his eyes... He's got like Sonic the Hedgehog eyes.

He's got fucking... And meanwhile, she's got stoner eyes. They're like half closed. Yeah, I got this green orb. You see this green orb before? You know how much I paid for this green orb? I get it. What the fuck?

Well, don't let a young audience around any of this shit. So here's what's always been interesting with the River Verde. It's like, what do you want, Eric? What do you want? Do you want to be an edgy brand for like middle-aged guys who are sick with Marvel Hulk shit?

Or do you want to make kids' you can't really do both it doesn't really make a lot of sense well you can't do both because you're dumb yeah you can't write well he wants to be like an all everything publishing house for him and his YouTube friends is Mike Barron still there after that embarrassing gay book he wrote a good thing I don't know What a pile of shit. He's getting bullied so he invented a robot dog. Okay. Did you read Salvage or which one did you read? I read the first two pages of Salvage. Which is actually written by Eric Jilai, correct? Yeah, it's dog shit. But it's a detective story which he loves. Which he's phenomenal

at. You told him, well he kind of made a detective story, he said. Which he's, yeah, he's phenomenal at. You told him, well he kind of made a detective story. He said, no I didn't. Now I'll make a detective story. And you're like, a detective's supposed to wear a detective suit, idiot. Not a super suit. And you're like, alright, that's good. This is like shit.

Well, we're gonna learn what kind of content is available for younger readers. This is like a buying guide. Like you can get any of these things. It's like when the catalog shows up at your house, it's like what kids want to get. This is the catalog. Like the Lego catalog. Look at this, you got this, this is appropriate for kids, Harry Potter, Nintendo, and then for older kids you got like Technics, like here's a model, here's a race car.

It's a little more advanced, you can actually program these ones. There's a bunch of different things you could get for kids. And if your kid's mentally retarded, we have a book about a little black girl with a little ball that looks like it was drawn by a child which appeals to children. A rip-a-verse perspective is the opening paragraph. A common phrase I see in chats and here in discussions this is coming from Sheep's Sedan again a man whose eyes don't focus on things. I have a youngster and I'd like to get him into comics that is the phrase that is being

heard. I have a youngster and I would like to get him into comics. That is the phrase that is being heard I have a youngster and I would like to get him into comics It's a comment that pops up more often than you'd think one thing we at the rip-a-verse always keep in mind Is that the customer is happening and bold for always he's really nailing it This topic will remain central to the rip-a-verse Jesus Christ We will make a concerted effort to release stories that appeal to as many people as possible within our specific genres from the street level action of salvages. Wait, that's not the name of it, is it? No. Isn't that wrong?

It went from the salvage to salvage to the salvage to salvage. The salvage. And then it was salvage PI. By salvages. By salvages. Okay. And the horseman. I thought it was just horseman now. the high-flying adventures of Yaira

They can't keep any of this straight. You guys are fucking dumb man. Sheep sedan you're fucking retarded Is he the guy with the crooked eyes? Is he? I think so. You think so? Well wait, it's it's the god. I can't. Or is it the there's two guys and I think it's him Sheep sedan is definitely one of the African American gentlemen who Eric July employees. Who's also illiterate. Well, based on this, salvagers. A common phrase out here on the chat. I got a youngster!

And my youngster is like I'm sleeping through. Hungry for some comics! Age appropriate stories in the rip-a-verse. How do you fuck up salvages? I guess that's all they do. It's like your mom Oh you like those Star Wars huh? You wanna go see the Star Wars?

The worst part is as we've always said, you're paying these guys to just sit around and it's like, what are you gonna do today? We're gonna write about what books is good for kids Okay Yeah sure, I guess I'm paying you like $5,000 a month to do that Why do you uncross your eyes before you proofread that? Age appropriate stories in the rip-a-verse Each story released so far has gradually kicked up the content rating.

Kicked up. Yeah. Just say it. In quotes. Just say kicked up. You know, this is why we have that like, you know, this one's rated M for mature. Don't get that one. Okay. Gooding the Polymath. Released so far. And why are you saying May? Gooding the Polymath may have the lightest theme in terms of age appropriateness. It's just like, the writing in that book is, and the concept is so fucking lame. It's a guy who just faces very little adversity and always triumphs at every turn. My parents sucks.

It's a real shitty, it's a really shitty concept and story that he came up with. It's like an old... I don't... yeah. You know? I feel like all these guys just... So Eric got all this money, right? What did Mike Barron ever do? What did he come up with? Like Bane or something? No, that was Chuck Dixon. Mike Barron did a lot of Punisher stuff, I believe.

He put the fin on the Batmobile. Oh, wow! Oh my god, what a legend! Oh, shit! I don't know. There's a lot of these old comic pros. And I want to say there's like a reason. You know, everybody goes, oh, well, the reason they got kicked out of comics is because they're not woke anymore.

It's because he's not any good. I think it's because he's like 80. Yeah. And like, he probably just can't really write anything. It reads like an after school special. It's fucking retarded. On the other hand, you could probably guess which of our announced or unannounced books

push boundaries a bit more. Why do I have to guess? This is a character guide. Tell me which one. Our writers from Eric July to Mike Barron. What's his website? I love that it's leaking. Oh, wait. Express Your Freedom. Here's his website? I love that it, no, it's leaking.

Oh wait, Express Your Freedom. Here's his ericjillie.com. Feel empowered to spread liberty and make a real positive income. I'm Eric G. July. Spread liberty by throwing Riley in prison for making fun of me. I like that it says he's a writer

and then it links to a website where he, oh no, the first thing in the top, okay, he's a writer. Oh my God. He has a signature. Music guy, what's your passion? Music, gaming, writing And he's an unwavering believer in your right to express your freedom when you need to show your liberty

I'm right there with you since I was in my early 20s I've been spreading the truth speaking out against oppression without censorship or criticism But don't go to my great great great great grandpap is grave. That's it Can you imagine if I had this well guys don't forget lots of great ripper verse Opportunities for your kids you're gonna love it. Hi Chuck. How you been? It's been a while Oh, Mr. Isom You're looking to get the little youngster, you what I always ask? What can I get the youngsters? Yeah, you want to get the youngsters invested in...

What can I get the youngsters for Kwanzaa? Kwanzaa's coming up, are there any reverse titles you would recommend for us? Well, which one has least words? Cause I can't read, you know this. Salad GPI seems to be pretty short, right? I don't know. Yairus got a lot of words cause it was written by two lesbians, and they won't shut the fuck up Oh, what's that one? Oh a lesbian is when a

Now in these modern times sometimes two women are in love with each other Probably something you didn't see too often back then ah So what's that imagine when a woman when a woman loves another woman very much They'll typically piss on each other and cover each other in blood Yeah, that seemed about right. Yeah, and then for some reason they get a job making Christian focus comics. Oh my so what in the buying guide? Oh right Go on mr. Isom What do we recommend? Well, I mean if you're looking for more adventures, you know, perhaps kid focus

There is an acromatic Chronicles available from the YouTuber Drunk3PO. Why don't you read through it? Go through it. Well you might like that one. It's from a Black and White Times Which is kind of the times you came from. Oh the Akromatic Chronicles? Akromatic Chronicles It's about a world that is covered in black and white and it becomes colored It's a colored world that they discover. So it's better that way. It is better. Yeah. Well, I don't know. Well, these days we try to blend all the things together. We're gonna boil. Well, we had to get rid of some self-checkout lines. But that seems to be, you know, we're making our way through it. We're figuring it out. Well,

thank you, Mr. Isom. Enjoy your sleep. I'm sick of it already. We're going back. OK, are we going back to the Super Chats? Go back to the buying guide here. Where are we? These are comics for younger audiences.

Again, remember, our writers from Eric Jalaiya to Mike Barron exercise incredible creativity when crafting these stories. However, they also recognize not every story needs to cater specifically to adults. OK, they also recognize not every story needs to cater specifically to adults. Okay, so recommended reads for young teens would be Gooding the Polymath. This book sits comfortably at the bottom of the age-appropriate scale, which you have just invented today, and it includes a few blink-and-you-miss-it dark moments. Its themes are complex and well-suited for young teens. Why would you want that in your kids' books Blink and you miss it. Dark moments.

This is a snapping guy's neck. What are we talking about here? Some other titles that might be recommended for young teens include Alpha Core, which is focused on darker themes of super crime and not just because there's a man in a helmet and Ice-Som Which for some reason he's put it as Isoms... Oh, because he can't say it Isom! Oh, so he can't put Isom, so he's put it as Apostrophe S? Holy shit! Well, he's put it as Isom, Apostrophe S's story.

Isom's story! So we're now calling it... They can't... Dude! You can't say Isom, they have to call it Isom's story now? They can't say Isom. Oh man. Wow! Which is not... There you go! There's proof. Yeah, I mean they're young eyes. I saw

And there's also ice some story Some story number one, which is grittier action driven and direct Doesn't that have like women getting like beat up and shit and well, I guess your teen can handle it as of now books Like xanlin haven't been released so I can't yet comment on specific themes. Or you can get a glimpse of the adventures they promised. So those three books? Well no two. Oh Gooding, Ice Homs, Story, and Alpha Core. That's the buying guide for... Yeah see this is why you don't do a buying guide when you only have a kind of like eight comics. It's like probably maybe no kids need this. Kids can handle

complexity. No. It's important to note that stories geared towards children, not only for kids, children are capable of understanding morale. What is the grooming guide? Okay. This is cross-eyed. Wait, this went from, Hey, kids can handle complexity, you know? No doesn't always mean no. They can understand morality and they can grasp lessons from stories. Why don't you get rid of all this? This is creepy. That means children's stories don't have to be simplified or dumbed down. Even if their introduction to the rip-a-verse comes through ISOM number one, they can absorb powerful lessons such as the importance of family from Alto. Did you really get that?

What the fuck is this? Dude, this is, Eric's employees try to justify from Alto. Did you really get that? Dude, this is Eric's employees trying to justify their paycheck. We'd be like, well, you know, there's a lot of family in ISOM story. That's important. Everyone knows an ISOM story. There's family and also perseverance from Avery. They can learn perseverance, which, you know, you're when I look at a kid, I go, this kid needs to learn a little bit more about perseverance. I think he needs ISOM story. I think that would help him. Children are more capable. What the why is think that would help him children are more capable

No, what the why is this telling me about what children are or aren't just say this book? Doesn't have a lot of swearing in it. That's all a buying guide needs to be not forget Ripa sends offerings for young readers including a chromatic Chronicles blue Well, it kind of just stops there a chromatic Chronicles blue and green written by J David This book is perfect for indoctrinating.inating oh I'm sorry introducing kids to comics and the story follows John and Fortuna well no it's two different stories but two children from a colorless world as they embark on a thrilling adventure with pirates kingdoms and more you can pick up it's got pirates and kingdoms well

what kid would not want pirates? We got pirates! No kids watching this fucking show! Hopefully, looking ahead, the future of the Ripperverse is still... Oh yeah, he is Cross-eyed Guy. He is Cross-eyed Guy. There's so much more to come. Fans can expect more books with age-appropriate storytelling and potential... It's always potential animations

and other exciting developments. Man, this would hit so much harder if you had published your comic. That's coming out. We fully understand. Yeah, but it's like, I'm going to put out the, we'll see. It's just like, Heather's still putting comics out though. But he's just, but here's the thing though. He's not making them himself, right?

I'm making the comic myself. No, you're not. Yes, I am. The guy's drawing it. Yeah, and I'm helping with every aspect of the production. Eric Jilai just goes to Mike Baron and goes, here's some money. Do whatever you want.

That sounds like a better system. It's a better system for pumping out complete trash garbage. Yeah. Yeah, but. I could publish other people's comics. I'd rather have garbage in one year than no garbage in three years. You're gonna see the production pipeline kicked up for Superkiller Okay, but for this first one, I'm very hands on. No, I'm not. Yeah, I am gonna do this forever and it's gonna be great Okay, I'll just make you know what?

I'll just make Achromatic Chronicles and I'll just make some shitty kids book and I'll pump it out the door and I'll fucking jack off all over it and it'll look like shit and it'll suck. I mean that's fine but just do that once. Yeah, well. And then don't do it again. That's all I'm saying. I understand the speed problem in comics. It's a real problem and it's one I'm working through. Prove it. How do you understand it?

I understand it, uh, what do you mean how do I understand it? Like how do you know that you understand it? Well cause I see. Like if I said, if Jose Kinseko said I know how to hit how do I understand it? Like how do you know that you understand it? Well, cause I see- Like if I said, if Jose Canseco said, I know how to hit home runs, I'd say, I bet you do. Right. But if like some guy who's never hit a home run says, I understand how to hit home runs, I go, I don't know.

I don't know if you do. The problem is trying to set up an effective, you know, pipeline where everybody's operating on the same wavelength and everybody's coordinated. Yeah. Okay, and one way to do that is to just not have any quality control whatsoever. Hahaha! And it'll make things go so much faster.

That's understanding how to make something bad though. How do you make it right? Let's put it this way. I could have put Superkiller out six months ago and everybody would have went, what the fuck is this? Instead I said- Wait, why? Because there's some problems I had to fix. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HA HAHAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA Look, I have you would say if they were yours. I am not who else is there. No, it's all me. It's my fault They're saying everything is my writer. It's the writer's fault. It's my I'm the writer and I'm the pro

I'm the problem. So the writers fault. It's my fault. Everything's my fault Everybody can blame me for the delays and I have just Look man. This thing is so fucking whatever. I'm not gonna make any promises. I'm happy. Here's what here's what here's what matters Why would you make a promise? No one would believe it. I want I can't put something out I'm not gonna be if I put it out and I'm not happy with it. I'm gonna be sad I want to put out something I'm happy with and right now I'm happier than I've ever been everything's coming together Okay Once the comic comes out

You know, there's so much I can't talk about you know I know I just don't want to hear about comics after it's out yeah that's fine oh god I understand do something else you know I'm not bringing it up you brought on like give up comics and do something else no I'm gonna keep doing comics you got it consider it consider like ah alright, that was a good try. Okay. I'm gonna do something else. Alright. Here's... you wanna do Vito's booty?

Sure, do Vito's booty. We got a couple more on Superchef. Okay, let's bang through them. Oglovich for two, Vito is the godfather, no way the hogfather however, great. Monkey bros for two, Johnny Cash edging at San Quentin. Oglovich for two, I wish I was a Koeman. I'm pepper sprayed again. Kagon Post for two, women mace men all the time. What's the problem? Frog Tony for two says, why is Vito scared

to go on a date with Dalish? Frog Tony, you told me that our interactions were not good, so I trusted you. Michael Winning for two, our and we, our words of bum should not be using. Reverend Scott for five, Dick's unborn child deserves only one godfather. Reverend Scott. Clips Dick's unborn child deserves only one godfather. Reverend Scott.

Clipsama for two. Seismetics Blast. Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. Cameron for two. Stat Blast. It's just been revoked. Pigeon for 10. The liberal has a problem with stats.

Classic. I don't have a problem with stats. I have a problem with the stat-specific sound effect. Okay, well, the Vito's booty was destroyed. Okay. So what happens to Vito's booty in that event? But good news A new treasure Vito's tootie. It says Vito's tootie on it. Wow

Incredible So so you're really tickled by that. That's really exciting for you. Oh, what's the game when we smash all the toys? I hate you so much. I was so happy when you destroyed that stupid treasure chest. Oh, what's in the box? You know you want it. So get out the scaler, I smash it to shit.

I hate this. I hate everything about this. Vino's Tootie, Vino's Tootie. So get out the scaler I smash it to shit! I hate this. I hate everything about this. VEEDO'S TOOTY! VEEDO'S TOOTY! VEEDO'S TOOTY! VEEDO'S TOOTY! Yeah. Alright, what's it gonna be? What's it gonna be? Well, I've received so many presents tonight, I feel like it would be almost greedy of me to expect more. So why don't I let this one go by the wayside you gonna let this one go sure what do you think's in it probably something that will be terrifying when

you smash it and then people will complain that I didn't point I told you I was gonna not put something good in until you let things get smashed right and you've been letting things get smashed so maybe now you're gonna really switch it up on me Should we get a focus a camera on this one? Yeah, you should you should focus a camera on it whatever This is your gay bit. I don't care anymore Okay, it's probably something that I would really like and you're gonna destroy in front of me to make it tell you that I did warn you okay that You know

Once you started smashing things sure I was gonna put something really good in here, okay Well, I look forward to seeing how I'm disappointed doesn't matter after the whole point of this bit I'm disappointed no matter what happens, so just do it All right Are you sure give me one more drum roll once I get I get through. Why are you to come on with this? No, smash it. No What there can't be anything that good in there are you sure you know what I have I don't know I've got even secret more secret stuff. I've got that guy has cradle the real one

Well, that should go back. I've got the person who sent it in because I feel bad now Why well cuz? Just I don't know why do you feel bad taking a gift from this gentleman Well Okay, am I opening it here open it smash it. I'm sure it's great. I know it's great. It's a boys funko pop, okay There it's fucking fantastic, and there's nothing secret hidden inside it. It's just a boys funko pop Will you stop pretending you're ever gonna put anything get in there? Stop I don't like when you do this

All right, that's the show that's everyone show we got a couple more super chats guys I want to thank all our time for hers. Let me just read them It'll take me two seconds on for the love of God. They send him money You don't want to reward them before it's gonna take two seconds guys Don't forget vote on all the problems the biggest problem that show Johnny rocket for to health stat We live in a society Pokemon guy for 10 dick I want to tell you the same words of wisdom you told me earlier this year damn That's rough, buddy. Good luck. Good luck uncle Vito v2k gaming for 2 100% of my super chest go to the stat blast

SFX Mick G for 2 congratulations You're gonna have a daughter and pigeon 10 comic critic video no comic veto always with the hot comic tips guys vote on all the problems The biggest problem to show new bonus episode probably recording live tomorrow Saturday Saturday. Tune in and if you miss it, check it out on patreon.com slash biggest problem. I want to thank again our guests from Poland who brought us some delicious treats and lots of fun. Everybody sent everything to the show. You can get the PO box link on the website and we will be back with more destroying stupid fucking toys and pretending there would be something. No, I didn't because I don't think you're ever going to know. I didn't. You did a little bit.

And if it was something good at this point I'm like just fucking smash it. Who cares? I don't care. All you do is try to just fucking take me and destroy me. I'm gonna give you something good next week. Next week you're gonna put a piece of paper in there that says the co-host chair on the dick show. That would have been pretty funny.

Alright, we'll be back. Thank you, God bless, take care of yourself.