The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 173

Episode Date: January 18, 2025

Okay. Alright, I think we're ready. I'm just gonna wing it to be honest. Yeah. You're gonna transition? Yeah. So I got this femboy bent over, right? Leg spread.

I'm going fucking balls deep. Oh, okay, we're live. We're high energy today. We're live. I love it. Yeah, why am I high energy? Why are you high energy? I don't know, why? I don't know.

I feel like I've uh... What is it? Is it the fire? The fire is throwing in the air. I am mad that I can't get to the fire anymore. It's like they've cut me off from my medicine. Because the National Guard came in? Yeah. I was trying, I keep trying, I tried to go up to the fire and there's fucking Humvees everywhere and army guys like what are you doing? And I'm like keeping you out fire Yeah, yeah looters keeping you guys out. Oh, it's like it's like they're gatekeeping. You know it's literally Yes, all the army guys and the cop guys get to see the fire But us regular Joe's who just want to watch shit burn. You got a sick you have a really they're doing What do you mean? Wanting to see fire, like the pig killing.

I want to see, if there's- You always want to see tragedies though. We're literally in the midst of like, uh, one of the greatest environmental disasters of all time. It's 20 minutes from my house. Right. And I'm not allowed to watch how it's burned. Watch it on TV. It's not as good. Oh, you're right, all the CNN guys get to go, oh hi, I'm with CNN.

I actually thought- Why don't you get a badge then? get to go, oh, hi, I'm with CNN. I actually thought. Why don't you get a badge then? I thought. Like, at least go pretend to get a badge and go up there. I said, if I got like a windbreaker and a VNN fucking like box for the microphone, I'd just, oh, you know, we're just VNN local news. We're talking to some of the.

I would probably have to get in by being like, can I ask you about what you've seen out here? The National Guard guys probably want to be on TV. I don't get to be on TV all the time. I need a cameraman. Yeah. And then after I talked to them, I go, well, you know, we really appreciate what you guys are doing.

So we're just going to go up here, get some B-roll. That's cool. This is like how it sounds in your head. And then when you get out, like it sounded great in my head when I went to the food bank and like lied and schmoozed my way in. But when I got there, they were like, where do you live? And I was like, I don't know Well, that's what I thought so I was trying to think of an address but then they're like what zip code and I'm like

I don't know that either One of the ones around here. She just said yeah, what will you're trying to pretend you're homeless or just like destitute? Just that I wanted free food. You thought if you gave them the zip code of I thought I could just watch You should have just said, yeah. Well, you're trying to pretend you're homeless or just like destitute? Just that I wanted free food. You thought if you gave them the zip code of your- I thought I could just walk in and walk out with food. They're dealing with like mental patients, crack addicts. Well, did you end up getting anything from there?

Yeah, and it sucked. It was all like wilty. Actually, it's not fit for human consumption. Was there a lot of it, though? There was a lot of food going bad, yeah. It was like somebody dumped out a Trader Joe's, a dumpster. Look, I can't even say there's no reason to be upset with you because it's literally food

they're going to throw out anyway. And they just have a shit ton of it. There's always reason. Don't do that. There's always reason to be upset. It's free food that I'm in deservement of, and they're not giving me good stuff. They're waiting till the very end. This was expired expired on Christmas Day and it was already seven days late.

You're telling me it took seven days to get from the Trader Joe's to this church that I'm... parking lot that I'm at? Yeah. I don't think so. Drop it off a day early before it expires. Did you get anything to use from the... Like powdered mashed potatoes, which I'm excited about. Why'd you take that? What do you mean? What do you mean you're powdered mashed potatoes, which I'm excited about. Why'd you take that? What do you mean? What do you mean you're excited about it? Why are you excited about it? Because you add water, and then it turns into mashed potatoes.

Have you had powdered mashed potatoes? Probably. Dude, they're fucking terrible. They're not good at all. It's cool. It's not cool. I like the idea of it. Hey, you're kind of detached a little bit, I've noticed.

Detached? Powdered mashed potatoes is exciting for you? I don't. I usually have real potatoes. Yeah, I know. So it's like powder's exciting. It's not rich to have a fucking potato. It's a little bit, mom's got time to cook.

Mom's got time to peel the potatoes and boil the potatoes. She's not working a second job. All right? I'm glad you get to experience it. Tim, what, your mom didn't have mashed potatoes? No, we probably might wish potatoes now and again. OK. My mom must have.

So who the fuck are you telling me about mashed potatoes? I'm just saying, you know, when I lived my bachelor lifestyle, I'm sure I had some boxes of instant mashed potatoes. I wasn't like,, what a what a What an experience Let's see what the common man is eating And they gave bouquets of flowers and they were like all wilted as shit I'm like this is a little bit this is a little bit like metaphorically bad

Yeah, guys to be giving out already wilting flowers. What happened? That could have gone in the trash. Is that app still giving away good stuff or is it all trash? What are you talking about? That app where you can get all the stuff they throw out at the end of the night. I got burned. What are you trying to do? I'm trying to make my there better.

I got burned by that one. Yeah. I showed up. I paid the $3. And the guy gave me a paper bag full of limes that were hard as a rock in a magazine. An LA life. I think you were telling me that one.

With all black people on the cover. Here we go, there it is, set the clock. What was I gonna say? You know when my sister used to work at Panera, I hate to say it, my dad found out that at the end of the night, all the Panera stuff went to the homeless. And he's like, well you're there

as they're like putting it in bags. She's like, yeah, he's like, well, grab some shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like,era stuff went to the homeless. Yeah. And he's like, well, you're there as they're, like, putting it in bags. And she's like, yeah. He's like, well, grab some shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like, well, it goes to the homeless. He's like, I don't care. Give me some fucking bread. Yeah, get some bread.

Give me some fucking pastries. Make some stuff. So my dad strong-armed my sister to bring home bags of pastries at the end of every year. That's what I want, but I had to go to the church to get it, which was bullshit, I think. Yeah. No, the end of the night, Panera pastries were pretty good.

All right. Are you ready to do a show That shit yeah, let's do a show. Where are we at in this Ralph-less world? Where I mean the Ralph of mail is lost to us. We'll see if he returns a different man Let's get let's get Ralph the whites back not the Ralph of mail. I mean I'm on Gandalf I can do cuz like you know for you and Ralph It's like off the rails, like me, I'm on thin ice because I'm like, at any point, Ralph could break

the, burn the bridge between me and him now, you know? Yeah. Yeah. He's a man who, it's hard to keep his friendship. All right. We've had spats in the past. You and Ralph? Yeah.

At one point he turned on me and then we came- Like he called you a pedophile. Yeah. Well, I mean, who hasn't done that at this point? But you know, and then we come back to each other, then he gets mad at me and he calls me a pedophile again. He did it like last week. And then I DM with him and he's like, ah, it's fine, I'm not really a pedophile. No, it's not fine.

It's not fine. It's not fine. It's not. He's going a little hard and going like, don't know what I think I said to you Ralph's kind of in a different reality right now. He's in well, hopefully he the S yeah We'll see he's we'll see where he lands after rehab. Yeah. All right. All right. Let's do a show. Let's do a show Wow Biggest problem in the universe. Welcome to the Biggest Problem in the Universe, the only show that ranks every problem in the universe.

From people refusing to change the magic cards up in flames, I'm your host, Nick Maschuston. Joining me as always is Vito Giswaldi. I'll have that burnt cradle. How was your time with the card? Did you see if you could get it graded or anything like that? I have not seen if I can get it graded. I don't think PSA will grade half a card.

I could be wrong. You know what? Maybe I'll send out some messages to some of the grading services and be like, will you encapsulate this? I think PSA would send it back with a will not, well I don't know. No they send back everything because I wanted to get a bunch of PSA 1 garbage pail kids cards Yeah, so I figured I'd just get them and like scratch them up and shit and get them graded and they wouldn't even grade them to

Give you a 1. Well then now they know that people want a one, so they'll send back like it as a two marked, like it'll be just fucking cocksuckers, man. See, I was going to say that they wouldn't grade something like that, but then there's a CGC graded the price from an Action Comics one. Some kid at some point cut up, he cut up the cover for like a scrapbook. Okay.

And like just the thing that says like, issue number one, one nickel or whatever. For some reason was on like this random collage that some kid made back in the 40s. Okay. And someone's like, that's from action comics number one. And that got graded?

Yeah, and there's a grade, somebody paid like $100,000 for a cutout rectangle of the price of Action Comics number one. So if they'll grade that, I don't know. I don't think they will. We talked about you making it a prize at our Magic Tournament. I think that if we have, we want to have the Magic Tournament. Obviously, the fact that California is on it.

I'm hearing it doesn't sound good. I am like, dude, every time. You guys don am like, every time people fuck with me on the audio, what the fuck? You're getting one guide. Audio is fine. Yeah, but you're having like an existential crisis about the audio, because every time I come over here, you're fucked with that shit.

Well, because it's impossible to fix. It's compressed or whatever, fucked up, and then I can't... Yeah, 200 people saying it's fine. Okay, it's fine. So I'm gonna assume it's fine. I was gonna say, we were planning out the inaugural Biggest Problem Magic Tournament, and then obviously the fact that California's on fire means that people who are from out of state who want to travel...

I'm gonna blow my fucking brains out with this audio. I can't do it. It's fine. The audio's fine. Good sound. What happened to the audio? Anyway, we're probably gonna do the Magic Tournament after the whole fire thing is dealt with.

Yeah, once we rebuild it, when Trump gets all the stuff he wants from California, and we rebuild it to his specifications. Which is sad, because there's some good sets coming out, but there'll be more sets coming out. Ah! Maybe it'll be cleared up in time for Aether Drift, and the Gaia's Cradle, I think, is going to be our trophy,

if we do this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember. That's why I started saying that. That's why you started talking about it. All right. Is this, are we ready for a shell? Yes. People not changing.

Wait, who is that in reference to? I mean, they have, I mean, they're trying to change, I guess. People not changing. People not changing. People not changing. I can't believe I won. Power outages was nice. Wow, the two toppers.

Arson denial, I guess that's kind of an LA problem. And then disaster tourism was way, way down. Was negative or way down? So that means people enjoyed. I saw a lot of people saying, Dick, how can you give shit to Vito for taking these incredible photos of him posing in front of burnt buildings?

With that guy on Reddit? Yeah, no, there's a lot of guys. A lot of guys like that. That shit head on Reddit? Hey, it was a negative fucking problem. That means everybody supports what I do. I had a lot of fun. I'm so mad that they cut me off for my medicine, man.

The fire? Sounds acceptable, but you guys sound exactly the same. What does that mean? That's the show. What are you going to do? Well, we sound the same, Vic. I'm going to fucking lose it. I'm really going to fucking lose it.

Our audio is very similar, which is a big problem. OK. How often do you get to see a building on fire? Not often. Too much. I told you I have those dreams about nuclear hellfire engulfing me and all of LA. So this is my way of getting to see it.

It's like getting to witness a fucking the end of days. Yeah. It's the closest I'm getting to witness, you know, a fucking the end of days. Yeah. It's the closest I'm getting to the eventual heat death of my own universe. Why do you like that? Why do you want that so badly? Because you spend all, because we all live in this little constructed fantasy. Okay? What is it?

No, we, you do. What's that? We don't. What's that Hearst guy, that artist, the incomprehensibility of death and the mind of someone living or whatever where it's like Are you talking about the shark the shark? We are the shark don't don't say the whole thing like that like that's the title that everyone uses It's just a shark in a box. Don't it's not the incomprehensibility of art and the nature of

Don't, it's not the incomprehensibility of art and the nature of being. Shark in a box! It's just a fucking shark in a box. That's the name of the art piece. Wow, I never seen no shark in no box before! Look at that! It's fucking stupid! You know they had to replace the original shark because they didn't seal it right? Because they used the wrong preservative.

Yeah, it was just rotting away. Rotting, falling apart. Which almost adds to the poignance of it. It was just a big blob, yeah. The point is that we live in this constructed fantasy where it's like, I'm going to live forever. Nothing bad's ever going to happen to me. And everyone I know is going to live forever.

And there's a god. And we all get to live forever there with him, with harps and shit. You live in that fantasy. And then you drive up the street, and the fucking world's on fire. And you go, huh. Who do you deal with every day?

Interesting. What's your social circle like? It's almost like this constructed fantasy that has been fed to me by the corporations and the advertisers and the government. All falls away the second you realize that fire can just take it. We are all well aware of that.

Yeah, but you don't want to see it? No. It's somebody's house. I want to see it. It's cool. I'm glad that my house didn't get torched. No, because you're still thinking about it and like, oh, but what if my house?

That's the thing. It doesn't matter. It is all going to burn anyway. No, it's not. This is going to burn. No, it's not going to burn. Everyone's going to rot and die, and the nukes are going to fall from the

sky and for one brief shining moment like a diamond it strikes you between the fucking eyes and you can see in 4D and you go oh I get it now and you take a little selfie to remind yourself of that. Of what? The beauty. That's the beauty of it I don't think that's. I don't think that's it. I don't think that's what your fire tourism is all about. The constant, the light against the darkness. For each star that is birthed, how many stars must die? And then you get to see a rich guy's house go.

I don't know, none? Yeah, that's what I think you're looking at. Rich people's houses. And then you get to look and see if there's like any cool Nintendo games in there, you know, that's what I'm, that's what I think you're looking at. Rich people's houses. And then you get to look and see if there's like any cool Nintendo games in there, you know? That somebody left behind. The audio sounds really tinny. Okay. Fuck it. You know what? I'm fixing it. What is tinny?

Fuck it. None of these people care. I'm fucking fixing it. Alright, I'm tinny my audio. Fuck engineering anymore. I'm gonna blow my fucking brain out. Matteo says the audio is good if only we had an engineer I don't it's just everything like bad as soon as Sean left everything went off maybe he maybe his

ghost is now it sounds fine he says veto sounds high thank you yeah you know sounds high yeah okay I think he meant that I sound as if I'm, yeah. Now you're muted. It's fine. Look, it's fine. Now somebody's saying the audio is so above water. Check, check, check, check. Okay, it's fine.

We'll get through a show. I mean, God, have you ever listened to an internet YouTube show? They sound awful. Yeah, they all sound awful. It's unlistenable. Here's the idea, guys. If you leave a $50 super chat, then we will adjust on sabotage levels. I know he did okay Banana Stan says wow that was truly poetic dick Vito taking pictures of burnt buildings

To his magic card being burned full circle shit reefer Conway says I should have seen that coming it was too on theme being burned, full circle shit. Reefer Conway says, I should have seen that coming, it was too on theme. It was Riley. As punishment for my love of the flame, I had to watch something I love be destroyed in the fire. I don't actually know if you thought it through that far, but it was pretty good.

Okay, Reefer Conway, that's a priceless piece of biggest problem memorabilia. James Sutherst says, greatest ending to a show ever. Atogi Myth says, Vito becoming radicalized because his Funko Pop collection almost being destroyed is hilarious. Donut says, rip card. Pussbag says, best episode ever. My tears from laughter could stop the fires.

I saw some people from the Magic community going, who are these jokers? I have that guy. This is supposed to be funny. This is funny. SmogUka says, so either this is a proxy cradle or these guys only care about content. Either way, this was a dumb idea for clicks and views.

Okay, it's not. Make some real content instead of doing these types of stunts and pranks. I bet you two make less money from this than the actual value of a guy's cradle. Which in turn, IF it was real, means this was a waste of time AND money. Congrats, you all lost this viewer from even continuing you content. And I'm betting I'm not the only one. So the thing we've been talking about doing for a year. Yeah, the bit that has been-

We lost the viewer. Like the whole time you heard like, I will destroy what's in this box, depending on what happens. And I hope it's the guy's cradle. Were you just sitting around going, well, if he does that, actually, I'm gone. You had a lot of time to leave.

I will say this, guys. This is the official PSA. It is PSA sealed from the eBay. Yeah, that could be anybody's, though. It's not a proxy. I still have half the card. We can put it under a microscope. Put it under a microscope.

They want proof. It's signed by the fucking guy. It's half signed now. Eldritch Beauty, Vito's booty destruction, since there's been a preponderance of Funko Pops and they're inadequately destroyed with a hammer, I suggest a cleaver or a blender be added to properly destroy things.

I mean, I would not mind if the hammer was retired. Me too, but it's all we have. Yeah, but you're going to replace it with something more horrific and violent. Like that hammer is, it's not even like, do people see how big that hammer is? It's not like a regular hammer. It is a big, it's a bigger hammer. Yeah, it's a powerful hammer.

Well, it's the smallest hammer I have though. Just, I don't like it. It's too much. If anything, at this point I'm more worried about the, more I dislike the hammer than the smashing of the toy. So you better get on the scale then either way. Martin says, Vito states that life is absurd and that's why he doesn't care about people's houses being

burned down and then proceeds to have a meltdown about a magic gathering card being destroyed. Please bring Vito's sister on the podcast as she could potentially reveal what childhood traumas have stunted Vito's development. Does that pitch, does that nice pitch? Yeah about the stunted Traumas with my sister report on oh

We had a perfectly normal upbringing Mac delirious the best payoff to a bit of ever seen okay Probably not. Mac Delirious, the best payoff to a bit I've ever seen. OK. Teeny Fats. I'm glad my. I mean, I'm still, people are like, oh, he's the, people are like, oh, his reaction is fake.

And I'm like, I'm just, like, I was just looking at it, like, there's nothing I can do. You know? Yeah. I can't say, I can't say don't burn it, because that's not the bit. You did say that, though. Well, because I don't want you to, but I also knew that don't burn it, because that's not the bit. You did say that, though. Well, because I don't want you to,

but I also knew that that was like, it's like a guy being led to the execution chamber. OK, are you going to go, ah, ah, ah, are you going to go, well, this is just, here we go. Well, what are you going to do? That's the question. Well, you found out. I don't know why people, it's not fake.

It's just like, you know, the hideous, crushing realization that you never get what you want. You can't negotiate your way out of no Okay John vetoes holds it's just a bit. Nothing matters who cares none of this is matters. It's only for me Spiral is embarrassing for him because he knows what he's doing is shitty Like super killer will be. You can't wait for the excu- Nice. Okay, blah, blah, blah.

I like Superkiller. And I like my other comic book, which people were giving me shit about. What other comic book? I'm working on my exciting World War II comic book. All right, you've already announced this? No, well I mentioned it on the show a little bit. I haven't made- Oh yeah, okay.

I haven't said what it is yet. I just said I started writing it second- You started writing it because of Yellow Flash is gay. Shadadadada. Yeah, well. What do you mean, jajajajajajaj'm actually. In what way? Is it a priority? That needs to get done before anything else happens. OK. Big says, Vito forgot to mention the worst part of a power outage, no air conditioning.

Three days of it being. I did forget to mention that. That is true. That's huge. Three days of it being 110 degrees Fahrenheit in your house and nothing to do. And you're about ready to tear your own skin off and you can't even sleep through it because it's

too damn hot to sleep. Not even a fan to move air around a little bit. Yeah, the last time the power really to tear your own skin off and you can't even sleep through it because it's too damn hot to sleep. Not even a fan to move air around a little bit. Yeah the last time the power really went out for a couple days it was in the midst of like California summer and I was, I didn't know what to do with myself. Which of your comics is going to come out first do you think? Well they're all kind of, you know, kind of exist in the ether. So they'll just kind of be out and around.

They're just the idea of them will exist forever together. I don't know man, Supercaler's looking pretty good. I'm excited. Okay. I know there's only so many times that you can say that. Do you think it's coming before the baby? Do you think it'll be here before the, no?

Maybe next year, 2026, we'll get it out. Who's we? Whoever's still around. Are you, we'll get it out. Who's we? Whoever's still around. Are you and Ralph going to get it out together? Look, I'm working on it every day. OK, well, that's the end of my comments. I'm feeling pretty confident. OK, that's all I need to hear.

There's just always something to do. What do you mean, Like going on streams and? I only went on there for a couple hours. Asking Milo if he was raped? Ha ha ha ha. Well, I do want to make sure I have that story right. He was raped, right? I'm pretty sure.

You raped him on that stream. I'm pretty sure he was raped. I watched it happen. Yeah. Well sure he was raped. I watched it happen. Yeah. Well, he got raped a second time. He was right in the middle of his absolutely fabulous routine as you did your trademark stumping. For some, it was a very convoluted situation.

So obviously, Ralph is going into rehab, which is good. And we appreciate that. It's great. And we appreciate that. It's wonderful. Yeah. OK. He's blown up at you. He's upset with you because something about you guys are going to do a show, and then you need to do a show, whatever.

Yeah. And I guess I was it. And then he started coming at me for some reason. Because for some reason, he felt he couldn't attack you directly, so he had to attack me. That was how this all started. And then I went, Ralph, shut the fuck up. And he's like, yeah, you're right. So then I've been shut the fuck up. And he's like, yeah, you're right.

So then I've been DMing with him and he's like. Oh, you have been? Well, yeah, yeah. I was DMing with him and he's like, hey, we're gonna go on this guy, this Jesse guys show and we're gonna get him. Get me? No, we're gonna get Jesse apparently.

And I'm like, well, how? Honestly, I can't even pay attention to this right now. Yeah, I didn't understand it at all. And then that's how I ended up on that stream talking to him and Milo and the plan to get somebody or do something apparently went out the window because some lady came to Ralph 10 minutes before the show and she went, well, actually, Dick's a bad guy.

So Ralph rethought his entire thing. And yeah, that was it. And then I got to talk to Milo. Yeah, I don't think I've ever talked to Milo. Yeah. Yiannopoulos before. Was it a memorable experience? No, it was awful.

He was gay and cheeky. Well, you know, you said go, you're cheeky. Yeah. Amazing. The way he just kind of like steamrolls everything and not in an entertaining way. It's called meth. Yeah. Yeah. Well, because then Ralph was like, he then he started doing this thing where he's Steamrolls everything and not in an entertaining way. That's called meth. Yeah.

Well, because then Ralph was like, then he started doing this thing where he's like, and then I'm going to do a podcast with Ethan Ralph, my aves. We's going to do a podcast together, yeesh. And I was like, well, first of all, you're not going to do a podcast with him. Secondly, you're terrible.

Secondly, you're terrible. There's no way you could co-host with anyone, because you just talk over everybody with your... About nonsense. ...cessant yapping. Yeah, it's awful. Everything's cocks and whatever.

Oi, oi, oi, your dick macesh and dresses as a cow, me dude. So then I'm getting fucked in the arse and I'm doing drugs in the mouth and then I suck out the cock and I take the drugs in my ass. Isn't that cheeky, darling? Isn't that wonderfully cheeky? You know, back in the UK, where it's absolutely like. He's too fat to do that routine anymore. Also, it's like, I was really disappointed,

because I was like, I kind of remember when internet blood sports kind of felt interesting. There was new drama. It like kind of felt like interesting like there was new drama yeah yeah yeah and now it's like what if this washed up F slur who hasn't been relevant in like a decade was going at dick and has been doing drugs and cock for eight years straight apparently then all of a sudden after doing all sorts of debodged homosexual bullshit, suddenly is like, I heard this guy who is a cow. I heard he's a cow. Oh, I'm so cheeky for the...

I don't think he's a cow, man. He's like, no, I heard he's a cow. I heard he's a cow. And I'm like, okay, well, I don't know. So that was fun. It was a nice one too. Okay. Yeah, everybody's a cow, I guess.

They're both? That's odd. It doesn't really fit. Yeah, well, that's the other thing. Why would both of you be a cow? It was like in Happy Gilmore when he goes, me and Veronica have got it on. No, you didn't.

Well, you could have met that scene. That was you. Well, I was waiting for Ralph's like, oh, I'm turning on Dick, and I got the goods. And I'm like, well, what are the goods? And he's like, he's a cow. And I'm like, I don't think that's as exciting as you want it to be.

We've heard that one already, man. Well, yeah, then the other thing is somebody asked them, they're like, well, is it this? And they link those like stupid, cause you guys went to that rave, right? Yeah. And what, you had like the pajamas they sell on Amazon or whatever?

Oh, the New Year's Eve rave? Yeah. I have pictures of that rave. Yeah, and he's going- It was actually the New Year's Eve rave? Yeah. I have pictures of that rave. Yeah, and he's going- It was actually a New Year's Eve boot man- Well, he's going, he's going, oh, he's going, dick, an 80s girl, have fucking cow fursuits. And someone goes, is it this $12 pair of like costume pajamas you can buy on Amazon? He's like, yeah.

And they're like, well, that's not a fursuit, man. That's like a thing you wear to a fucking party because it's funny. I will release the photos. I will release those New Year's Eve photos. People dress up for raves, right? I will release those photos if Null can do one push-up. Oh, come on. You know that's impossible.

I will release, if Null can do one push-up, I will release the photo of me and my wife. You know why he can't do a push-up. It is completely unreasonable for you to ask him to do a push-up. I promise. If he wants the photo out. Why does Noel engage with his forum when they're like, hey,

Noel, calories in, calories out? Ah! Shut up! Shut up! I know! Shut up! Yeah. OK. Are we going to do any things? Calories in calories out. Oh Okay, are we gonna do any yeah, just do a vote it up type situation Anyway, Ethan Ralph's getting sober and I don't know what's coming out of that

Well, let's hope hope for the best hope for the best Hope for the best him and Milo are gonna do a shitty podcast in the last one episode until they realize Milo is fucking insufferable. I did Milo's show once, a long time ago. He had a show? He had a podcast for a minute. Did he have a co-host? No, I showed up and it was just me and his producer bullshitting

because he was like an hour late. And the guy said, yeah, he's always an hour late, which obviously is why he's done nothing but fail for eight years straight. You know Milo's really dumb, right? I don't know that because of his accent. I mean, this is a problem I should have brought. You know what? I should have brought in this problem this episode.

Maybe I will bring it in. Okay. Maybe I'll save it. All right. But I'll say that- Is it gonna be the Arrested Development problem? No, it's gonna be the accents are a shortcut to sophistication problem. Yeah, that's where she's retarded. Yeah. Anyway, let's do a Voted Up. All right, here we go.

And then we'll do that. Oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, wait till you stay and get a washing machine. Oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, don't kill yourself if your child is a girl. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, or Prog Tony will come again. V-V-Vote it up, just vote, vote it up. V-V-Vote it up, just vote, vote it up. V-V-Vote it up. I wanna fuck Goofy and have him suck my dick.

Who? His little pussy. Wait, who does he wanna fuck? His little pussy. That was a great one. Was that Reckon? That was Reckon, yeah. Thank you, Reckon. Thank you, Reckon, for leading us into everybody's favorite bit.

Vote it up. We're talking about past problems. Put them in the light. Can you go to my Twitter? I have a video I want to launch. Oh, God. Wonderful. Real quick, some exciting stuff going on.

We actually have a couple things related to this topic tonight. Tonight, we may have the Dick Masterson PSA grade reveal. Is that possible? Yeah, you got the Pokemon cards there. The Pokemon cards. Dick has sent how many cards to be graded? 10. All right, what am I looking for here?

I'll get it. Dick has sent 10 Pokemon cards to be graded. We're going to find out the grades tonight. Because guys, Pokemon card frenzy is at an all-time high. Right now, the new Pokemon release of the 151 Blooming Waters Premium Collection has launched, though officially slated for release on February 7th. That's a long time off.

Some Costco locations began selling the set early, leading to chaotic scenes. Costco, you can't release the Pokemon early. You're going to cause a frenzy in Los Angeles. A physical alteration even erupted as customers vied for the limited stock. And we have video of this. This is guys, the Pokemon card scalping from episode number

one, one of our very first problems. Oh, OK. Let's hear it. This is like my first. Oh! You gotta go away! Hey like my first problem. Hey! Hey! Cover!

Hey! Cover! Stop! Stop! Stop! Oh! He fucking elbowed him! Yeah, hit him.

And that Asian guy is still holding on. He's reaching around the back. This is how I got thrown into the boulder in Netflix. Yeah, exactly. That's the exact same thing scenario. So let me be clear, this collection being sold at Costco is priced at $60 and has been reselling online for $120 to $150. So for $60 in profit, you're going gonna go beat the shit out of people at a Costco

Look I would understand if you're like could get like 10 or 20 of them But clearly that guy's fighting over like two like oh, I really gotta make a hundred bucks. I really gotta make a hundred bucks We still have that one Pokemon card. Is it $100 is it really for profit? It's 60 bucks you if you resell it for 120 okay You're gonna make 60 bucks profit on each one, but these guys are only getting one or two Is it really? For profit, it's $60. Yeah. And if you resell it for $120, you're going to make $60 profit on each one. But these guys are only getting one or two. And they're fighting over them.

Like, oh my god, I got to get that $60. I got to get that $60. Go drive Uber for a fuck-up of hours. I think they just want the Pokemon card. It's coming out. It's coming out on February. Just wait until February. If they had $100 bill on the ground, it'd be fine.

But just put Pokemon on it it and they'd go nuts. I don't understand the look. The guys scalping this can't be making that much money. It's like the, what is it? Didn't they do that breakdown of drug dealers and find out that they're all making less than if they just had a minimum wage job at Burger King? Yeah, they're making like nothing.

They're like, yeah, you're risking everything out on the line, putting your body on the line for Pokemon cards, or you could just work any fucking job and make money. They want to be a gangster. Or, as I've already said, you got $60. Why don't you buy a fucking stock and just sit on it? Instead, the scalpers, man. You know one wants $100 worth of stock.

Just do what I did. I went on a website, and it said preorder a new set, $100 a box. I said, OK. I bought some of the new box box and I waited for it to show up at my house Is that happening at the Asian Costco by you? I would think that you know what I actually need to make it to the Asian Costco because I've heard the Lord of the Rings magic cards might be finally getting clearanced out. I don't know why Costco's been selling magic cards Who's buying magic cards at Costco? They're fighting to death over it. For Pokemon, not Magic.

Oh, it's all the same shit. No, it's not. The Magic community is not nearly as, the Magic kids, honestly, I wish the Magic kids were as zealous, but the Magic cards look like shit. Wait a minute, I have a Pokemon. Oh, you know what? I'll play it after.

An Imom has weighed in on Pokemon. Oh, fantastic. Somebody got an Imom to weigh in on Pokemon. Anyway, guys, I guess the point is, don't go rushing to the Costco hoping to get the Blooming Waters Premium Collection, because everybody's already beaten the shit out of themselves and their neighbors to get one.

Pokemon Card Scalp, and currently number 500 with, get this, 151 upvotes. Vote it up! I think you should keep it at 151. That's the perfect Pokemon number. OK, cute. Do whatever you feel. Yeah, vote it across the board. So don't vote it at a, don't vote it on it. Do whatever feels right. Keep, okay, cute. Do whatever you feel. Yeah. Vote it across the board.

So don't vote it on it. Do whatever feels right. All right. Keep it at 151. All right. I got one other problem for you, Dick. From episode 35, this is the problem of kink shaming. Now, we all love popular internet streamer Bo Blacks.

It happened to me, so I go to a New Year's Eve. Right. You're getting kink shamed. Boot nanny. And our good friend Bo Blacks. Julie, which is dressed as a New Year's Eve. Right, you're getting kink shame. Good nanny. And our good friend, Beau Black. Julie, which is dressed as a farm, a farmer. Everybody was having wild furry sex with this Las Vegas furry raid. Not furry sex, it was all farm stuff.

What happens in Vegas is supposed to stay in Vegas. $80 a ticket. Yeah. Show off as your favorite barnyard. It was the fifth, the US Acres. Oh, US Acres themed say great. Yeah in Vegas Said honey, we gotta go. We gotta go to Vegas and do the US I go is farm. I'm gonna go as a

Eric Larson, I'm gonna have cow tools I'm gonna be the guy who brings the cow tools. Yeah. Yeah, that sounds believable, right? Well dick from episode 35 with a problem of kink shaming. And popular internet streamer and former Biggest Problem guest, Bo Black, is currently experiencing this himself after inadvertently revealing the existence of his OnlyFans account during a live stream. He's having a rough time. Here's what I don't get is I've been live streaming for a long time,

and I've never had any email addresses or any, like, you know, remember when Vodge showed his horse porn folder? I go, how do you even do that? Well, these guys are streaming all the time, and they're also looking at porn all the time. That's true. BoBlox is goonin'. And I know it's happening.

And so it's kind of impossible to keep them apart, honestly. Well, The Revelation quickly became a trending topic on social media, with users expressing a surprise and sharing their reactions. One user tweeted, seeing Bo Black's OnlyFans nudes wasn't on my 2025 card. He has nudes out there, too? He's got OnlyFans as a lady?

He's got, yeah, he set up a lady OnlyFans. But the weird thing is that he called it something really, like normally I would think if it's a trans ladies like OnlyFans, you want to be like sexy babecock, you know, or like hot, hot lady or something. His was Mr. Heeshee and it was like a dude with a beard wearing a dress. No, that's a vibe.

That's some of them do. Who's jerking off to that? Believe it or not. A guy with a five o'clock shadow and a dress? There's a guy with a Knuckles toilet with Sonic shitting in it. Somebody's jerking off to it. Is that real?

The Knuckles toilet? Or Sonic is a toilet, or Knuckles is a toilet. I've seen those pictures. I guess I should have assumed that was a joke. That wasn't made as a joke. I thought that was made as a joke. No. I'm thinking about it.

Oh, wait. No, that's definitely thought that was made as a joke. No. I'm thinking about it. I'm like, oh, wait. No, that's definitely. You can never make a joke that good. Like fucking the medallion. Yeah. You can never make that on purpose. The becoming a toilet thing is an interesting. Milo knows a lot about that.

That was what I was trying to talk to him about. I was like, there's a lot of that in your community. When I saw you and Milo, I'm like, Milo has no idea what's in store for him. Because he floats by on being a cheeky conservative against leftists who are afraid to say the absolute. Yeah, I was like, Vito's not afraid of these things. And then you go, hey, were you really raped by a priest?

And he goes, he really did get taken aback. He ratatouille into being raped. He was remembering being raped when you said it. Oh my god. And what was also funny was when I was like, oh, this is Milo's big second act. And then he went, oh, you're just repeating what you said on Twitter.

And I'm like, oh, I haven't seen anyone say that on Twitter. It's actually really embarrassing that people are saying that so much that you think anyone saying it isn't like, hearing it from other people. There is no second act. They're saying it as a joke. You're like a retard. Milo's not getting a second.

What would Milo do? Milo, what was the strategy with Kanye? Are you the one who thought of putting him in a fucking Gimp suit where you can't hear him talk into the microphone on Alex- was that your brilliant idea? Hey Kanye, let's get your mouth, your voice out. Yeah. Milo's- No, let's put a fucking sock in your mouth so no one can understand you.

Brilliant. Well, when I was trying to talk about Milo being unintelligent- How's the Nick Fuentes war going? Well, I brought that up on- Nothing is quite as pathetic as calling your shot and then just walking out, pulling your pants down, and everyone laughing at your small dick. Yeah, Milo fighting with Nick Fuentes has been embarrassing. I was going to say, if you ever want to see-

Oh, another middle-aged man who was taking down Nick Fuentes. Oh, boy. And him going, I'm not gay anymore. I bet I could impregnate a lady faster than you, Nick Fuentes. And I'm like, that's the gayest thing anyone's ever said. Is there like a gay bar that thought that told you that's funny? Oh look at look at me, darling I'm gonna I'm signing a contract that I'm gonna impregnate a woman and by that I mean it's a man's ass and Nick Fuentes has to impregnate a woman too, and I can't believe that was just so droll and and funny

Look at look at this everyone and I'm gonna count it every day until either Nick Fontes impregnates with what I do. Isn't that marvelous? Isn't that marvelous? No. I don't know what Milo could do that anyone would want to watch. Cause he's not entertaining. Shoot himself in the head. Yeah, well that schtick is like the side character schtick. Like, ooh, I'm just a posh gay idiot.

Just dress normally. You're too fucking fat to have style. Yeah, you look like you look like Terry Bradshaw like a gay Terry Bradshaw See it was like it was a fun gimmick when Trump was new and exciting and the stereotype was everybody who supports Trump is a Redneck hillbilly. Yeah, it was fun. There's this little gay twink. Oh, okay. That's funny the contradiction and whatever else but like That's not, we already did that. It's old. Yeah. It's really old what you're doing.

And you're also not doing it anymore, really. You're just being a drug addict now. Yeah. You're just like, your teeth are locked up. You talk like you're on meth. Yeah. Have you ever seen the, Now you're like, gross gay.

Before you were fabulous gay. Now you're like gross gay. Before you were fabulous gay, now you're, I think you got AIDS gay. Now it's, I don't know which STD you have, but I know it's one. Maybe more than one, gay. Did you ever read his book? Now it's, don't touch the lip of my glass. You know he has a book, right?

Did that book come out? I think it did. It probably got stumped by Amazon. Well, here's the thing is the editor of the book showed Milo's original draft and his notes. He was like, this is fucking unpublishable. You're the worst. He didn't say it to him.

But if you read what Milo wrote, you went, oh, this guy's a borderline retarded. I did not. Oh, he can't write. Dude, he can't write at all. It's like incomprehensible how bad it is. I mean, yeah, because he's on drugs. Yeah.

He's like really, really dumb. You know how I know that? Because he's gay. Yeah. Well, I'm going to segue that into my problem in a second. I will say, guys, please don't kink shame. Bo Blacks, who is currently deciding whether or not he's a woman or something I don't really get it. Yeah, he's gender fluid which basically means he's a fucking mess. Okay

He's watching what it is from now on it's just what what's your deal? I'm a mess. Got it Well, he's not even a mess. It's he's he's a mess. He's a heat fucking he she on Only fans that's a fucking mess. He's a heat fucking he she on the only fans. That's a fucking mess That's all of the these terminally online zoomers. It seems like half of these the king of them He got his he didn't even get his plushie funded the new one. That's a mess. That's true eating That's a mess. Well, he should have came on here to promote the plushie. That was no more plushie promoting on here All right. Is that it? That is it guys Bo blacks and if you want to see his penis I guess there's pictures on the internet. Well, I know he posted them on only fans that point All right, is that it? That is it, guys. Bo Blacks, and if you want to see his penis,

I guess there's pictures of it on the internet. Well, I know he posted them on OnlyFans. At that point, it's on the ether. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, don't kill yourself if your child is a girl. Hold it up, hold it up, please go to be his friend. Shadow Trance, not good. Talk to Trixie. Trixie will help you. Just... just stop. Do whatever feels right. Stop... stop doing it. It's not future in this. Why did he start an old fan?

Why? I feel like he wanted to get caught. I think he gets off on the... Oh look at me darling, I'm ruthless, I go after everyone darling. Oh yes. Having a drink, that's what they told me. He's a character actor Milo, but it's like, I already saw that character. I've seen Mr. Belvedere.

I've seen the guy that hangs around the coffee machine. That's enough. It was funny eight years ago. Now you gotta, well we'll see what happens with that. I just, I can't wait. I mean, I can't wait for the contract. Maybe he'll have another contract. Another, something that only gay men would think was funny.

Here's something that stuck with me. And it's interesting, this actually came from Tim Rogers. Our great friend, friend of the show. The one-way friendship. It's not a one-way friendship. Stop saying that. God damn it. Look, there was a game, Xenoblade, that came out. And it's a good RPG.

But all the characters have British accents for the voice acting. And you go, well, this is a Japanese game. Why would you localize it for America? Obviously, in Japan, they have Japanese accents. Then if you're're bringing over to America, why don't you get American voice actors? Yeah, and then Tim explained to me he said well in the American mind a British accent is a shortcut to sophistication It's like it's interpreted as Intelligent and smart. Yeah, of course

Yeah, cuz that's all we've seen in like our media, right? Like usually, you know, maybe the maybe the villain is a smart British guy. I'm thinking of like Die Hard. Wasn't that a British guy? He was doing a British guy show? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you go, OK, a calculating, cold calc, James Bond. We associate these foreign accents with like.

Well, it just sounds nicer. And usually they have a little bit better vocabulary. I don't think it sounds nicer. I don't think they have a, what do you mean better vocabulary? Like more words? British people have a more sophisticated vocabulary than we do.

They speak in a more, they speak with more sophisticated language. Yes, they absolutely do. We speak more plainly. Yeah, we don't know as many words as they do. I didn't know that, I don't know that. Have you ever talked to a British person? I'm saying there's some, I mean,

I guess across the average of Americans, not all Americans, obviously. There's also some British people that go, oh, gawd, nah, I'm some fishy chippy witch for you, yeah. OK, so people with that accent are stupid. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm just saying, not everybody who has a British accent is necessarily a fucking intellectual mastermind. Well, they just know a little bit more better words. Sure. But, the point is that accents, in general...

They think a little bit more before they speak, that kind of thing. My problem is Americans just thinking that an accent is, what do you call it, like a sign of intellectualism, of prestige, of like knowing what you're talking about. Yeah. OK? Yeah. And like this is somebody who we should

listen to on these things. Right. So a lot of people, they always ask me, they go, I want to get started as a YouTuber. What should I do? British accent. I go, develop a British accent. Of course.

Yeah, immediately. If you have the ability, if you have any ability to develop any sort of accent, British accent would be preferable. But obviously if you can do some sort of foreign accent, it is a shortcut to getting a lot of listeners. One reason is, first of all, most of the people watching YouTube are American. We hear Americans talking all the time.

It's boring, it's not interesting to us, okay? You're an accent, you know, well that's an interesting way of talking It's got a sing-song quality dude that I don't hear in my everyday life I like this guy. Like describe when you got fucked up the ass by a preacher All of a sudden it takes on a new tenor. And then how that's like actually I'm the slutty Actually, it's actually me that pursued him if you want to know the truth. If you want, okay look I'll give this advice if you want to know the truth. If you want to, OK, look, I'll give this advice.

If you have some sort of regional dialect, you know, all that like news stuff where they like would teach black guys how to speak white for the news, it's like what they should have been doing is tell them like, no. Teach you to act British? Yeah, no, well, yeah, act British. Or just embrace your natural.

If you have a regional dialect, embrace it. Yeah, black guy talks in a British accent. I'm tripped up. OK. I don't think the KKK can handle that. Let's put it this way. I take a video of a black kid breaking TVs. Not that funny. I do that boring stock Boston goober accent.

And all of a sudden, it's hugely viral. And everybody's going, let's be real. When I hear Bill Burr, Bill Burr, because so many people go, oh, it sounds like Bill Burr. I go, yeah, because Bill Burr is also going a little over the top. He knows what he's doing. At one point, he sat down and he said, eh, people

kind of like this Boston accent. I'll say, retarded a lot. And it works. It is true. That people don't realize. So think about how many of these geeks and gamers retards. That fucking- What if Melanie Mack had a British accent?

She'd be doing a lot. Well, she has the like, kind of like- Could she be doing better? She almost has a little bit of an accent. I think it does help her. RETARD accent? Yeah, she has the retard accent. But that Az guy, who's like the dumbest retard in the world,

okay, gets to go, fucking pronouns, man! Fucking pronouns, you're so boring. Look at all this shit, woke shit, fucking pronouns. And you're like, oh, so Americans hear that and they go, oh, like kind of a British, he's like British, right? Or whatever. It's like a foreign Scottish or something. Oh, well, that guy must know what he's talking about because he's doing it in a different, yeah, he's from a

different land. He speaks in this different way of me hearing it. And it's a shortcut to popularity. And again, this undeserved intellectual prestige. It's not true. Or that critical drinker guy who's also a big dumb fucking idiot. Yeah, but is he as dumb as an American counterpart?

Maybe he's a little bit smarter than that. He might be a little bit. He's a little bit smarter than that American counterpart? Maybe he's a little bit smarter than that. He might be a little bit. He's a little bit smarter than like that. They're a little bit better than us. No! Not As! Come on! Well, I mean in general. Generally speaking, As is he better than Matt Jarbo? I don't know. No. No one could be better than Matt. But Milo is a perfect example of this long-running thing where you go...

Look at... Or like, what's his name? Fucking transversity. We have fat gay guys that are probably- Fucking transversity who's fantasizing about him and his wife dressing up like super girls- Is he British? And fucking each other in the ass. He's got like an accent, yeah, he's definitely from like, like Scotland or something. I didn't know that.

I don't know exactly where he's from. I think I've only heard him like once or twice. Yeah, yeah, he's definitely, I think he's in England. I could be wrong Okay, the point is that? People get sucked in by these these presenters and some of them are good. Like let's be real PewDiePie has an accent I think it's been a huge part of his popularity. It's like a cute accent. It's a cute accent Well, no, like honestly a big part of why it's fun to listen to PewDiePie. So get a speech impediment if you want to do it I'm watching a video game. All right. Well, that's not what he sounds like. I to listen to PewDiePie. So get a speech impediment if you want to do it. It's PewDiePie. I'm watching a video game. All right, well, that's not what he sounds like.

I can't do PewDiePie. Mario. Yeah, he sounds like, well, Mario's great. So he's shitting on Mario? He's got an accent? No, no, no. I'm saying that it's one thing to say, look, accents are very pleasant to listen to, OK?

Especially a foreign accent. You hear a poo on the Simpsons. All you want to do is do the a poo voice, right? And then a fucking Indian guy takes it away from us, and now we've got to make fun of other parts of India. Should have just let us have Apu. Well, I like Apu's accent. Yeah.

I don't feel the same way about a normal Indian person talking. Apu's like a racist. Well, now there's like a negative. Like, I like the mammy voice too, but I don't, you know, if I'm sitting on the subway. Not all accents are of the sophisticated type. But that's like a stereotype accent.

It's not real. I guess my point is people whose popularity is based mostly on the fact that they have an accent. OK, but people who's popular, something with accents. Accent popularity, OK? I agree. People who are dumb, stupid idiots, but because they get in front of the microphone, they go,

oi, I played school rim and there's a trans lady moving school rim. dumb stupid idiots but because they get in front of the microphone they go OI I PLAYED SCORE RIM AND THEY SAYED TRANSLATING MOON SCORE RIM That's like because you sound like a dwarf because you sound like Lord of the Rings so people think you're like a tough no nonsense but you're really just a fat retard. Yeah exactly and I think that a lot of these guys they go well I'm popular because I have such smart opinions and I have such a nuanced understanding of media Like imagine if Destiny had a British accent Yeah exactly If Destiny had a British accent he would be killing it

If Mr. Girl had a British accent everyone would let him babysit their kids Okay but Ahhhhh Yes they would They'd go oh he's just one of those cheeky Brits. They would get the joke. Had a British accent, he would be unstoppable. Absolutely.

His pauses would not seem goofy. They would seem intellectual and smart. Yeah. Oh, well, that's just the British way, you know? So you'll sing. It's going to be like, it might be like the Max L commercial. Wow. It is a very powerful arsenal, man.

I can't wait to see his juicy pedophile documentary. I guess my problem is I wish that the people who had the accents would realize, OK, some of them get it. I think Gilbert Gottfried understood. He's like, I'm 90% voice here, and I'm killing it. Bill Burr is getting a little ahead of himself, though. I've seen him lately. He's been being not as funny as he used to be.

Anyway. Because his wife chopped his balls off. Yeah. And ate them. His black wife, as Anthony Kumia will bring up every single time he talks about him. You got it. Have you ever listened? Did you ever listen to a time that Anthony Kumia is like, I don't understand why Bill

Burr kicked me out of his comedy show. And it's like, cause you spent months making fun of his black wife and you said it like that. He's like, Oh, Bill Burr and his black wife. And then he goes, Hey, Bill, can I come to your comedy show? No. No, definitely not. I don't understand why we used to be friends. You're not now.

Yeah. Now you're don't understand why. We used to be friends. You're not now. Yeah, now you're not, unfortunately, for you. Anyway, and that I would say is Milo has to realize that no, he is not a devastatingly talented wit. He just speaks very fast and in a stupid posh British accent, and that schtick does not go nearly as far as he wants it to. So I can't imagine listening to a podcast with a guy. I don't think he has anything to say. I don't think he's smart.

Bro, he's just been pounding drugs for eight years. He's on Twitter all the time. He's never posted anything that I found profound or interesting at all. It's just, I'm gonna fuck with you. I'm the guy that fucks with everything. I'm gonna fuck with you. Hey, Nick Fuentes, I'm gonna fuck with you.

I'm having a kid, look at me. I have this weird dude that fucks with everything. I'm going to fuck with you. Hey, Nick Fuentes, I'm going to fuck with you. I'm having a kid. Look at me. I have this weird dude that is my wife now. At least the other stupid conservative grifter guys occasionally say something like, that's an opinion. You know? That you can actually engage with. My little just goes, ooh, I remember when I used to suck cocks all the time.

And oh, man, but now I love Jesus And I would never suck cocks again, and I'm gonna impregnate a lady and be like, alright, this sucks. Okay. Accents. What can you do? Alright. Pretty good. Thank you. Good problem. Alright, there we go.

I'm still fucking around with the sound over here. Mmm. Now I'm all paranoid about it. That should be, I think it's better, I don't know. Tell me if it's all fucked up. OK, my problem is I kind of want to call this the boomerification of Gen X. But I guess.

That's a boomer name for that problem. Is it? I don't know. The boomerification of Gen X, but I think downward mobility is probably more accurate. Gen X is a... It's I'm right on the edge. Prior to 1980s? It's yeah.

1985? 1960 to 1980 or 1965 to 85. So everybody 40, everybody 45 and above basically for 20 years. They, a bunch of them decided this week to use, go ahead and roll the Trump victory and all the mandate for like the economic woes that we're all stuck in and how eggs are so expensive that we need to kill all Mexicans and stuff like that. They decided to take that energy and go ahead and turn it around and say,

actually, it's you young people that are the problem. Why don't you get jobs at Grand Panda? Panda Express. Panda Express. Grand Panda Express. What's going on with your guys, man? I feel like you voted for this. They really? I feel like you voted for this. They really, uh.

I feel like you voted for all this boomery, stupid bullshit. Well, they're not, Trump's not doing it, but they are. Yeah, but it's all Trump's guys who's going to put in cabinet positions. What do you mean? Like who? I don't know.

See, you get too excited with it. You get too excited for the value voted for this. Didn't he endorse Vivek? Didn't he endorse Vivek for an Ohio Senate seat or something? I don't know what of that was a parody account,? I don't know what of that was a parody account. And I don't know what if that is real or not. It's true. I don't know what's going on anymore.

I have some of these. Let me see if I have the tweet. Well, the idea is, of course, there's nothing wrong with the economy or society. It's this Gen X now idea that young people think they're too good for service industry jobs when or like that the goal in your life as a young man should be to become a plumber or some shit which is like fine to do but

you shouldn't be telling people that they need to lower their aims and Focus on doing like manual labor that they didn't want to do. Like yeah, everyone's fine with working at a fast food restaurant. Like we can't because they're all being, because they're all being, you know, staffed by illegal aliens or H1B. Well, that was one of the funniest tweets I saw about the thing was it's like you go to college. So you're telling me I went to college, I get the degree, and now I gotta go work

at a fucking Burger King, an extra guy named Jose, who didn't go to college and has been saving up for the last seven years and rubs in my face that he's like ahead of me financially and also doesn't speak English. It was this, he said, Chris Rufo said, this is basically full employment. The Panda Express near my house is offering $70,000 a year,

plus benefits for the assistant manager. You can make $100,000 a year working at Chipotle for a few years working up to store manager. And I guess what's so obnoxious about this is, first of all, the condescension that there's already people working these jobs and that they're trying really hard. And everyone in the restaurant is busting their ass to do them.

And this is his message to white guys that are just graduating from college, ostensibly, probably. Why don't you just do it? It's so easy for them. Yeah, just go hop down there and get a job. Don't put you in charge immediately, because you're white. You don't need to work the grill at all.

Just go right to Assistant Manager. You're white. Go in there and just say, hey, by the way, I'm white. So obviously, Assistant Manager is where I'm starting. I'm not starting as a fucking fry cook. Or I'm not on the fucking register. I'm going to go straight to Assistant Manager. Typically, to become the Assistant Manager,

you need prior restaurant experience. Experience. Yeah, they're not going to just give it to you, because you have a programming degree. It's this like attitude that they have that young people are phoning it in when like mathematically young people have are now at the are behind an eight ball that's been like that's been getting bigger and bigger

for the last 70 years or maybe 80 years. Like the inflation has been growing so out of control that your mortgage is now your rent, your rent is now your rent with your roommate, and they're just, and they're the victims of it also. People my age, these Gen X guys, are also the victims of it, but now they've internalized their stupid stories of working shitty jobs as part of their personality. Well, here's what, yeah. I did it, I got raped, so now you have to get raped. Well, this also- It's just the banks, dude.

This also breaks down because all the guys talking about it, they'll always wax poetic about the six months they worked in a bakery when they were a teenager or whatever, and it's like, you're an internet commentator. Uh-huh. Okay, the work you do is a fun, or whatever, and it's like, you're an internet commentator. Uh-huh. OK? The work you do is like a fun, allusional.

Like, I would never. You sit in a chair. Yeah, I would never go to somebody and be like, hey, you got to work harder like I did. I'd be like, no, I've. Like I did for six months. Like, this is 10 years, bro. Yeah.

This is 10 years, and you will get. And during that 10 ten years Elon Musk is gonna replace your ass with a Tesla Optimist robot controlled by a fucking Indian back in India you you understand It's just the idea that they're gonna lecture from their positions of wealth and privilege to young people on their finances Drives me well, why can't they just say why can't they just say? young people on their finances drives me insane. Well, why can't they just say, why can't they just say, clearly you guys are fucked?

Like obviously you're fucked. If I was you, I couldn't get my out of it. That's why. Here's all you have to do. Open the Zillow app and look at the average home price in your area. I have stats for you. And go, oh, nevermind.

There's nothing you can do to escape from this crushing ball of doom that is bearing down on you. You're right. It is. The house prices, I forgot to write where this started. I think it was 60 years ago. House prices were 3.5 times your income. Your salary.

And now they're 5.8 times. Yeah. That's not recoverable. No. And Henny, you can't not drink lattes around that. Especially now when the government lets 10,000 houses just burn up in a fire. Then you're doubly fucked.

Downward mobility is what it's called. I saw a guy recommending that Zoomers go dumpster diving for milk. I also saw that and I said, what is happening? What are you doing? What are you saying? What are you? What are you doing? I saw somebody say these guys are these guys are saying they deserve jobs. I'm like, you know, try to understand it like this. All this stuff that we have this like civilization is kind of based on a whole bunch of people not just going, ah, fuck it. Let's kill everybody with all the money.

Right. That's, it's a really, it's really important. And then one man named Luigi shows up out of nowhere. It's really important that you remember that. Well, yeah. Keep it in mind. These guys are acting like they deserve a job. What do you think you deserve? Sitting there in your air conditioned studio, typing away,

name me three things that you believe you deserve right now, because they're going to take it away. I hate that these guys can see what they don't like. They're like, I don't like that young people aren't starting families. That makes me feel bad. Right. Yeah.

Sucks. Yeah. So you'd like them to have families. Yeah, I would. And you'd like them to have a place for those families to live, right. Sucks. Yeah, so you'd like them to have families. Yeah, I would. And you'd like them to have a place for those families to live, right. Okay, how do you want them to get that? Eating milk out of the trash.

And Panda Express, drink some trash milk. Stop buying avocado toast. No, I need you to think this a little further. I need you to go a couple more steps. What is stopping young people who are currently living with three roommates? Okay, driving fucking door dash for for barely minimum wage. What is possibly stopping that guy? Nothing. Why isn't there a union like why is why is door dash allowed to to exist? Well, cuz they're spoiled. They're spoiled. They don't want to work

They don't want to work thing is like bizarre to me. It's just bizarre. Restaurants used to pay their delivery drivers. Yeah. Used to get mileage and everything. There used to be restaurants, not just Kitchen United. Yeah. There used to be like a thing that dumb people and middle people could do and others not.

You took it from them on purpose. And the employers have figured out more ways to fuck over their employees Time and time again. It's getting really bad. It's really bad So for the for right now to these assholes for these assholes to come out with Well, you just got to go you got to go work at a Fucking but these are all these are all the same guy. These guys have no Through line because they see a McDonald's robot order taker, and they start clapping.

And they're like, good, good. And you go, so what do you want to have happen? More people making money for their families. With robots? And what do you like about this? I love automation taking jobs away from people. It's capitalism. That's capitalism.

I love it. America's awesome. OK, so where's the money that's getting generated there go? To one guy. The stock market. It goes right into the stock market. Okay, who owns the stocks? My dad. Our dads. All own the stocks. Okay, so what are you so happy about then? What do you want? I don't know. I don't know what these people want. And then I go just like, why not just say, you're right. Inflation is really bad. We need to build more housing. Yeah. We need to get rid of so much fucking automation and just have the fuck.

Tax it. We need to tax outsourcing. We need to tax. Tax the shit out of it. We got to get rid of all the H1B. Whatever the fuck. Get rid of them. Yeah. Make them build a raft and then send them out to sea and they can sink the raft will sink into the fucking ocean in ten feet. Well, yeah, part of the problem is, you know, the problem with immigration is they all claim to hate, is they're like, oh, I hate immigration because these immigrants come and they take the jobs. You go, well, the problem is not them taking the jobs.

The problem is them doing the jobs for so little pay that the job becomes a different job. It becomes fucking slavery. So even somebody who wants to go get a job and can get a job now is forced to compete for the worst possible. For scraps. The point is to stop the illegals from taking the jobs for no money so that whoever owns the company has to be like, all right, well got to pay them, you know, something. We got to give them benefits. We got to whatever. Yeah. Do something for these people. Yeah. But yeah, you know, whatever. It's always just it's this. Well, here's here's the other thing. OK, you know, it's all based in this Judeo-Christian, the value of a hard day's work bullshit, right? Where it's like the most about the most Judeo-Christian shit I've ever heard in my fucking life.

The most important thing is to work really hard. Right. And then you point at like the guy who like his only job is to show up and make sure the McDonald's robot is taking the orders correctly. And it doesn't seem like that guy is doing a lot of work. No. And they're like, yeah, but he deserves it because you know, he put that robot there or whatever. So it's not the value of the work necessarily. Yeah. OK, this is I've got some more. But you know what?

That's why I love the OnlyFans workers. And that's why the right hit that. Again, it's another hypocrisy. Well, it's not a hypocrisy. They hate the OnlyFans girls because the OnlyFans girls realized I can just take pictures of my tits and make money. Yeah, because they're free.

And they're like, no. Our entire economic system that we, our entire economic reality that we've been preaching is that the only possible way for upper mobility is based on hard work and being in the trenches or whatever else. It's like, I can show my vagina on the internet and people give me a million dollars.

Ah! It like completely destroys their whole model. They never get mad at sports. That's the only reason they want to outlaw pornography and all that shit is because their entire economic narrative falls apart the second a girl can go online and just flash her tits for money. And they won't stop talking about it.

All they want to talk about is how porn should be illegal. God, we got to legalize prostitution. It would piss these guys off so much. They would fucking hate the shit out of it. Because not only would the woman be making free money, but all the guys would also be working less and spending all their money on whores instead of stupid consumers.

Yeah, you know what, instead of buying all their TVs and their Netflix inscriptions, let's just spend that money on whores. That would piss these guys off so much and we'd all have a lot more fun. Uh, this is... I don't want to watch Squid Game Volume 2. I want to fuck a filthy whore at a government-sponsored whorehouse. Okay.

Go for it. Yeah. Let's legalize it. Matt Walsh, some of you really have no historical perspective at all. It's amazing. There's been inflation, but not nearly as much as you seem to think. You're living in a fantasy land. I mean, there's a lot of inflation.

There's a lot of inflation. There's an insane amount of inflation. What are you talking about? Especially if you go back like 50, 60 years, it's like, what are you talking about? Go back three years. Bro, a meal at a cafe. Fortune now.

When they say like a hot dog used to be a nickel, and you go, whoa, you got a factor for inflation, it's like, no, that was still like not a lot of money. OK? It was still like, oh, cool. I can get like a hot dog used to be a nickel. And you go, whoa, you got a factor for inflation. It's like, no, that was still like not a lot of money. OK? It was still like, oh, cool. I can get like a hot dog whenever I want. What do you think a young man with no work experience should get up to and do today?

Are you insulted by the suggestion that he should get a job in customer service, like we all did at that age? Bro, you're talking about like a summer. The idea of having a summer job when you're a teenager doesn't exist anymore. They're all taken by illegal Mexicans, Mexicans, they're all taken by foreign born workers, Chinese, H1B, the extended family of H1B, chain migrants.

This caddyshack reality that we grew up in, like me and these other morons, does not exist. It has not existed for a long time. Also, I look back at, I worked at GameStop when I was a teenager, making like $6 an hour. Yeah. And that didn't benefit me at all. That, like, what, the work experience, like the idea of working a job?

Like, I was basically working for the employee discount. I just used it to buy a video game. It didn't contribute to my upward mobility in any way. No. No. of working a job. Like, I was basically working for the employee discount. I just used it to buy a video game. It didn't contribute to my upward mobility in any way. No. No. It was a complete waste of time. I should have just fucked around.

I'm like, I honestly should have just fucked around and played on the internet. It doesn't even cover gas. I worked some other idiot. My first job when I moved out of my parents' house started at $17,000 a year. A lot of young people today have completely lost the drive to work their way up in the

world. Where? Go where? What do you mean? What do you mean up? They literally expect to be gifted a six-figure salary. You said we're just supposed to show up at Penn Express and be the assistant manager immediately, so what's there to work up from there?

They literally expect to be gifted a six-figure salary at the start. Yes, that is how much money- If you have a college degree, 100%. That is how much money all of these positions should be paying. Yeah. That's how, if we're going with the rate of inflation, historically, that is how much they should be paying.

At this point, yeah. If you get rid of millions of illegals and foreign workers, that's what they would be making. Drive-through, six figures, insane levels of entitlement, and apathy, amazing. Okay, but here's what I wanna say. What is the entitlement? You've already said the most important thing is hard work.

And it's like, okay, I got a job and I'm working hard. Yeah, well, you gotta like, you can't make more than I can. Get a better job. Why? I already did what you said was the most important thing, which was working hard. But you also have to luck out in this fucking game of capitalism.

They never want to admit how much was luck, never. It's insane amounts of luck, 100%. Okay, last one. After graduating from a- I had to trick people to buy in a comic book that doesn't exist for upward mobility. After graduating from a- You gotta come up with new scams every two seconds.

After graduating from a good university with a good GPA, I couldn't find decent employment. So I took a job as a church janitor and earned the minimum wage. The unemployment rate in my city was 16%. So that's a lot of people. I moved halfway across the country for better job prospects and ended up working two minimum wage jobs

and living in a socialist co-op housing. At one point I rented a room that was an actual closet. Is he bragging? Is he bragging about poor bragging? How much I worked. Okay, I have an anecdote. I moved to Vallejo, or I moved to fucking Oakland, California for a job. Two months later they shut down and my car got stolen by some teenagers of unknown ethnic heritage. So your magic work hard and move for the dream job, whatever the fuck plan, doesn't always pan out

the way you want it to, man. And I don't look back at that and go, I'm so glad I moved to fucking Oakland to have my car stolen and to have a job ripped up running me two months into it, okay? Don't use this as like a learning experience. No, no, this is a bragging experience. No, no, this is literally do this. This is a bragging experience. Right, but he's saying do what I did. Like this was me. I had

to go through all this and I'm telling you don't. It's delusional. Don't. I went through it and it sucked. It did nothing for me. These guys, guys grow up, they get old, they get older and then they decide that everything they've ever done and everything they know is worth something. And they've gotta impart it in the most obnoxious way possible to people who can't use it because they're not born in that, because it's a totally different world that they're in. Here's the worst trait among successful people

is successful people who think they're special for being successful and can't just understand that it's like, yeah, it really is lucky that I was, you know, Barbara Walters hairdresser, and then I became a very powerful fucking movie producer because of it. Like, shit just happens. Okay? And usually it was given to you by a different guy who already won. Yeah. Okay? So you made friends with a guy who already won the game, and he gave you a job,

and his dad, or your dad got you a job, or your cousin got you a job. Yeah, that's a good one. Okay, or you're Jew and then everybody they all help each other out Okay, yeah, Burke says you're the new Harrison Ford, even though you're not that good an actor, but you are Jewish So why not? Let's try it. Okay, like that happens too. So you got a luck into one of these fucking situations I never ate out. I almost owned nothing and saved most of my meager wages. My bank account grew from minimum wage. That's not realistic. Like mathematically, that is not applicable to any scenario today.

It wasn't until my late 20s that I had a decent paying job. I bought my first car. It cost $25. When it failed, I replaced it with a $50 car. how did you get a car for 25 bucks what are you talking about my clothing was second there's no period of time and was a secondhand clothing store see how cheap it is now see if you can get any shirts for 25 cents my furniture was from yard sales oh my god so romantic congrats but within four years I could afford a home because I had saved my money so

relentlessly four years four years you were able to could afford a home because I had saved my money so relentlessly Four years four years you were able to save for a home on a minimum wage job. That's funny. Anyone can do that now Again, we can just look at the median home price. It's so easy This is my response to all the whiny zoomers complaining today about how horrible the economy is Yeah, just get a job at just do what I did 40 years ago get a job at Grand Panda Panda Express Move to the move to a move to the worst Black neighborhood that you can afford a bus fare to you know that they'll go to work as a janitor at a cum factory and save money for ten thousand years so you can afford a

save money for 10,000 years so you can afford a down payment of 3% on a house. Or go to war, join the army, so you can get a GI bill. Get a GI bill. Then you can go to school. Life hack. Join the fucking army. And then the VA department can keep telling you that it's not covered by your fucking veterans insurance or whatever. And then maybe by the time you're 65,

your social security will pay your PMI insurance, and you can live in a 70-year mortgage shit box. No, what's great about the Army is you go in, you get PTSD, and then you just fucking kill yourself. So you don't got to deal with any of this. That's the real affordability of the Army. That's my problem. I think Bo Blacks is hacking the system,

trying to get an OnlyFans going. I get it now. He's a Zoomer dealing with this crushing financial burden. No, his Pushey didn't even sell out. But it looked exactly the same. I thought it had a blue shirt. I think he didn't promote it very well. I don't know why the Boblax play.

Honestly, I'm glad the second Boblax Pushey did not fulfill, because that means that one's now a rare collection. That's a rare one? Yeah, the rare original red. Can't even get a blue one. OK, what's your problem? Let's see, I had to.

Do you want to talk about more internet people? Whatever your problem. Yeah, I know. Kind of exhausted. Honestly, it's like I'm relieved that Ralph is in rehab. Yeah. I don't know how to describe it in a way that's like normal or acceptable, but.

Well, what about it is relaxing to you? He's just like sequestered there for a little bit. Well, that's not. Like, I don't know how to say it in a nice way. Like, I want him to, I hope he gets better. But it's also like, OK, I pretty much can just, I can just breathe a minute. I just want him to be happy.

He's going through a lot, you know? He's got that kid, he's gotta come all the way up to California to see the kid, he's better. He doesn't. He can just not see him. Aw, he can't do that. Yes, he easily can. He physically can.

Don't get into his fucking ear with this shit. I'm not in his ear! The only thing that matters is don't do drugs and drinking. That's it. I'm saying- Nothing else. From what I know- Nothing else matters.

A kid doesn't fucking matter at all compared to that. To him the kid matters. Take that shit, kick it into fucking outer space. All this to me shit, gone. Sure, it can come second to sobriety. No second, there's only one thing that matters. No drugs, no booze. That's it. For him, not for everybody. For the whole universe. That's all that fucking matters.

That's your new message to everybody? For him, yeah, exactly. None of this, oh, but I'm feeling some kind of way about no. Wrong. Oh, but I'm feeling some kind of way about snow. Wrong. I think that he wants to get sober. He wants to make the family thing work. He wants to be there for that kid, which is good. It's noble.

It's noble. You got to have a reason to do it. You got to have a reason to get sober. Nobody gets sober for no reason. Yeah. You need something to live for. Yeah, that would be step one. That would be step one. That would be step one.

If that was true. Well, I was going to say, I'll just say it quickly. I don't know if this is my problem, but Melanie Mack is a whore. I guess that's it. Melanie Mack's your problem? It was going to be. Well, have you heard about Goonergate?

Let's talk about Goonergate. Let's get into it. Is this internet people shit? Kind of, but it's also it's a woman problem. Okay. My problem was gonna be women pretending to be based. I thought we did this one. Did we?

I don't know. We did women saying slurs. Yeah, I guess that is kind of the same. Women pretending to be based, yeah. You know what, maybe we... Look, I hate it too. Have you seen what she's saying though? Have you seen what's going on? Yeah, she's in front of like a Tomb Raider fucking life size

cheesecake doll talking about sexism in games. Yeah. It's retarded. She's an idiot. Well, here's what happens. She's an idiot that acts like a teenage girl for the amusement of pedophiles. That's her.

Her audience is men who are attracted to teenagers. So she puts on goth makeup and acts like a little girl so they can crank their hogs. And talks in a high-pitched fucking voice when you're like, you're about to be 40. Act like an adult woman. Act like an adult. I mean, look, I got to talk about it because I was listening to her try to articulate what her position is. And it's just, like, there's nothing behind the eyes.

It's like one of these things where you go, why did you let this woman talk to begin with? You know, like all these guys who have these fucking streams, they go, well, I got to get a girl on there and she's going to be one of the boys. We're going to talk about, yeah, there should be more tits in gaming. And yeah, we want video games to, we want all this gay shit out of gaming. Yeah. And then Mellie Mack comes around and I don't yeah, we want video games today. We want all this gay shit out of gaming. Yeah. And then Melanie Mac comes around, and I don't know, there's some new video game. And they're like, hey, check out our new video game.

It's got some like fucking sexy ass ladies in it. Look at their fucking little pert assholes or whatever. Look at how young they are. Look at how young they are. And look at their tight assholes. And Melanie Mac goes, well, actually, Jesus would hate this. Yeah.

And kind of got. Jesus would hate you. Jesus would not. I don't know what Jesus would, Jesus would hate this. Yeah. And I kind of got. Jesus would hate you. Jesus would not. I don't know what Jesus would do with any of this. Frankly, the appeal to Jesus is already a bit of a foulsy. But I went, yeah, why did you guys think this lady was going to be on your side? It was a joke.

She was goofing. She was there to get the attention and the fame and the internet e-horse shit. Also, she hates gay people. She fucking hates gay people. So she was like there to get the attention and the fame and the internet e-whore shit. Also she hates gay people, she fucking hates gay people so she was with you on that. But now she's going, well the reason I- I mean she doesn't though. Like she hates the idea of gay people.

She's nothing, she's just like a vapid whore. Like she has no opinions or anything other than like clever Hans saying things that she knows. These throngs of weird perverts that watch her show are gonna are gonna enjoy well again she was they hate women saying slurs her big thing is to go oh all these f slurs fuck all these f slurs yeah all right hey Bart say the line didn't do it all right pretty good shit but now she I watched a video of hers yesterday where she tries to articulate and she goes, well the problem with video games wasn't all the, you know, gay shit, it was the perverted shit.

And you're like, what do you mean? She's like, you know, like all the sex and like the sexiness. I mean every game pretty much has hardcore sex, like is a recurring theme in it. Yeah, there's so much fucking going on. I remember playing jumping jack flash, and you get through the level, and it's just 30 minutes of hardcore penetrating sex. And I went, first of all, bitch, there's not nearly as much sex as there should be. This is one of the big problems going on.

We all know it. Tifa's tits should be huge. The mod should be enabled. I should be able to do whatever I want to Tifa and equip her with a materia that makes her boobs twin-temp times. There should be able to do whatever I want to Tifa and equip her with material that makes her boobs 10 times. There should be a material that affects the boob size. It makes it larger. That should be a thing I can equip.

No, no, no, no, no. I want to gamify it. It's not enough. Well, play a weirdo game if you want that. I don't want that shit in my game. I want it in my game. It could be a mod. It breaks the immersion.

I was busy at mine. You turn into a fucking frog in the game. There could be a guy you talk to and he goes, hey, Cloud, next time Tifa goes to bed, put this materia in her fucking glove. It's not consensual. Now it's really messing it up. Oh, not consensually growing your girlfriend's breast

to be the size of your head. That's, you need consent for that too. If you don't, just go like. It's materia, she gonna unequip it if she doesn't like it. It's not like it's locked in forever. Okay, that's, that's true. Maybe you do it, you go in like a little prank, you give her the breast to fucking materia,

and then she takes, she goes, okay, so you know what, if that was the game, then I would agree with her. If these games, if games like that were coming out for weird perverts, then yeah, I agree with her. Well yeah, there's not a lot of that. Something needs to be done about it. But there's not. And also, there are, look, there's like maybe a couple games like that, we're coming out for weird perverts, then yeah, I agree with her. Something needs to be done about it. And also, there are, look, there's like maybe a couple games like that, but you don't have to play them if you don't want to.

She was trying to make this convoluted thing about, she's like, well, you know, and then these games, they don't even like sell that good. It's like, then what do you care? If it doesn't sell good, who gives a shit? She's just an idiot. She just let her... Do you want every video game to sell good for some reason? Is that important to you as a conservative Christian influencer? Every video game needs to be a smash success. So we've got to take porn out of it so that it sells better. She doesn't even know what she's saying. She tried to think of something on her own.

And the pre-menopausal feminist of her inside of her came out. I had it. She really is. I was trying to understand what her point is. So here's Melanie Mag. People have a hard time with what I've already said clearly. So she already came out and said, video games are too perverted.

They need to be less sexy. In the same way we need to stop the gays and the trans from putting their gays and trans up in the games, we also need to stop all the sexy ladies and the big boobs and whatever. Yeah, I mean, there's just so many. We've just been under a flood of sexiness for 20 years. What are we talking about?

I have no idea what she's talking about. OK, like the Overwatch characters are pretty hot, but they don't like fuck each other in the game. You've got to wait for an entrepreneurial fucking 3D animator to come along and jam him into Source Filmmaker and have him fuck the shit out of each other. Cocks come out of their nipples. Regarding lust in entertainment and where my standards are,

if something is created with the intent to elicit lust, that is perversion. Well, welcome to all of art, the whole concept of fucking the male gaze and a fucking. I can't even like, I can't even hear a woman's thoughts. It's like a, I don't know, it's like a wrong molecule. Like it doesn't even fit into my brain. You know what I mean? Like, I'm hearing the words, but I'm not getting it.

Because she doesn't have a point to it. She doesn't even know what she's talking about. What it really could, OK. She could be saying anything, and I'm like, I can't listen. This is a situation where she can't say what she really wants to say, which is, I'm a woman and you guys are gross. Yeah, right. That's it.

Yeah. As a woman, you guys are fucking gross. Ew, you like jerk off to that? Like, ew, that's so fucking gross. But she can't say that because she's supposed to be like based and cool. So it has to be this weird parable about Jesus and media and whatever else. Yeah. Which makes no sense and is incomprehensible.

And then fucking what's his name? Razorfist is like backing her up and being like, she's right. What is this? What is this in the corner? It's a giant fucking- What is this in the corner? She has a Laura Croft statue with nothing around her legs and her cross hanging out. And what are these? What are these right here? Thighs? Like stocking tops or something? What am I looking at? Yeah, stocking tops.

Yeah, sure. Is that what they are? OK. And these are shorts, I guess? Yeah, very short. It's like she's not wearing anything at all. Not wearing anything at all. Yeah.

Right? Well, somebody also will make up here. What's going on up here? OK. OK. And she has, so over. There's point over, right? Well, you understand there's no standards at all. There's nothing, there's nothing, it's-

She also has a little Chainsaw Man plush toy back there, and Chainsaw Man's about a guy who keeps trying to like, fuck every girl he comes across, so. It's like, what do you, what do you, just admit you have no standards, and it's just the idea that nerds are jerkin- But it's a woman. Well yeah, it's their trash. I know, so stop- It's trash in her head.

So stop pretending that they're a part of your like fucking base crusade or whatever to save gaming when in reality at some point they're all just gonna fucking drop the veil and go, I just think you guys should be nicer to women. Stop jacking off. I think you guys are like fucking perverts. Some people can lust over a pumpkin or even beautiful art without lustful intent could still be used that what the fuck? Okay, total idiot. She's saying if you are lustful towards a pumpkin you need to step away from it and seek

That's what I fucking love a bunch of fucking pumpkins. Oh, man. It's Halloween I drive around with a big horde cock look at all these pumpkins all over the place Well, it also defeats her point if her point. That's what it's's fucking September 1, I'm like honey let's get out to the pumpkin patch I think they're getting ready to pluck the pumpkins, I want to make sure I see enough of the pumpkins Well if her point is that theoretically you can have lustful intent towards anything Then why are you mad at the people creating the lustful content If somebody can be attracted to a pumpkin Why do you need a thing to have lustful intent? I can think about a pumpkin I want to fuck right now

I don't need someone to grow a pumpkin out of the fucking ground to think I want to fuck it you idiot. What about reprobates who don't care about sin and unapologetically will do so. I don't want you to parade your perversion everywhere. I just think Tifa's got a nice set of tits. Is that the worst thing in the world? God created beauty. Beauty is good.

The world will take beauty and pervert it. Their perversion is not beauty. I don't know if it's beauty part of God. I don't know that God's like, oh yeah, by the way, I made a bunch of beautiful stuff. I don't know if he said that really. Maybe the sunset, maybe heaven is beautiful. I don't know if he's, I don't know about that one.

Okay. Honey? So here's her, I guess this is her point. I'm trying to figure out where her point is, because again, it makes no sense. Pay attention to me is the point. Well yeah, it's completely hypocritical and nonsensical, but here's her, I guess this is her point. I'm trying to figure out what her point is, because again, it makes no sense. Pay attention to me is the point. Well yeah, it's completely hypocritical and nonsensical, but here's her point. My main point with all of this is to promote beauty

that hasn't been corrupted by a perverted intent and to encourage self-control. So take your fucking makeup off then. Dress like a woman. That's a good point. Dress like a woman your age. Stop acting like such a god damn whore. Why are you dressing up like a fucking... Suicide girl. Yeah. Seek Jesus and you will be filled with the Holy

Spirit who will guide you on a beautiful and pure path. So basically she's just saying like don't find things attractive and don't... Except for me. Except for me, you know, don't be happy when something turns you on. You should be ashamed of it, you should feel bad, and you should make less things that turn other people on because you're straying them from the path of God. And this is the same lady who's going like, I don't know why they're so, she's like an old thing where she's like, why'd they censor Tomb Raider? This is modern Christianity.

Like this is Zoomer Christianity, just a chick in a bikini, eating a popsicle, talking to you. Saying perverts are ruining society. You're ruining society. You are the pervert. What you're doing is perverted, 100%. Many of us want to watch a movie, listen to a song, or play a video game without being bombarded with sex. So go play Animal Crossing.

There's a million fucking games out there. Like, what do you want? This is society. We can all make whatever art we want. And if you don't like the art, the answer isn't like, oh, I just don't know why all these perverts are making stuff. A hot chick is not sex. It's not yet. It's so fucking tame. We don't even have sex games yet. And the sex games we do have fucking suck. And the reason is because idiots like you keep being like, oh, it's a perverted and it's satanic. Totally worthless.

Totally fucking worthless. Just watch my YouTube channel and jerk off to be talking about Jesus. That's the only sort of perversion you should tell. There are guys who definitely jerk off to Melanie Mac talking about Jesus. I guarantee you. They have photoshopped her head onto big titty chicks and they put on her videos of her going, I just think that all you perverted epsilon are gross. And they're furiously beating off going,

yeah, tell me how I'm gross. Tell me how I'm gross, Melanie Mac. Tell me how Jesus doesn't approve of my lifestyle. Huh, huh, huh, huh. I don't even want to imagine this. People are going to lie and argue in bad faith, so gone ahead. I spoke out of conviction for Christ.

I have no regrets. And then fucking razor fist or whatever the fuck comes along. And he goes, well, you know, I guess there could be less lustful intent and get all these guys who claim to be fucking based in a world. I hate to tell you this. Like it's so obvious their playbook. They are the exact same as that Jack fucking Thompson guy. They're the old school Catholic sensors, the old school, like Republican right wing fucking anti sex-pornography crusaders who are like, you gotta cover these women up,

they gotta be wearing a million, they want the burkas. They want burkhalites. If Melanie Mac, the only reason Melanie Mac opposes, if there were Christian burkas, if you could dress all these girls up like fucking nuns in a nun's habit, she would absolutely be preaching for it. Yeah. Okay? These guys do not, it's insidious,

because they come in they go It's all about free speech free expression the fucking Wokey leftists won't let you make anything real and like well I want to make a thing with a check who has like big tits Let me go Shut it down shut it down That's not in the eyes of Christ the eyes of Christ will judge you and you're like well Well, then you're just as bad as the other guys I don't want the game to have all gay stuff But I also want there to be big fucking titty sexy chicks in it too.

Why does both sides have to suck? Why can't you both realize you suck? Is that it? That's my problem. She's never going to stop either. I'm glad that this time I've had, I mean it's another one of these situations where I've talked about Melanie Mag and people go, Vita you just want to fuck her. You just want to have any time I complain about any woman everybody's just goes, you're just mad you can't fuck her.

Well I don't know about it. You're just mad you can't. I'm sorry. I want to cut her fucking head off. No, I don't. Uh, anyway, I got people coming to me and they're going, well, you were right about Melanie Mag. And I'm like, well, thank you very much. Yeah, I was thinking you were right about Melanie Mag.

Cause I see these people from a million, I go, this chick's not a base coach. No, no, no, no, no. I have a fucking- You've been wrong about plenty of women and people. Who, who, who? Okay. I'm right about everybody.

I was right about Eric Jilai. I'm right about Melanie Mag. I was right about Shadiversity. I can read these people. Shadiversity is trans. I guarantee it. Now, I don't know if it's ever going to come out, but that is a guy who goes to bed fantasizing. He wears a fucking wig in bed and his wife pegs and will dress as Supergirl. I guarantee it! I can read these people like a book. Melanie Mack is a fake Christian who's desperate for attention and Eric Jilai is a fake gangster who can't write his way out of a box so he hires lesbians to do it because he thinks they have magic witch powers that will enable them to make a better comic book than him.

All of these people I can see it in their fucking minds and they all suck. Uh, wait a minute. You're you're saying Eric July can't write then is what I believe then How do you explain how do you explain this veto? Let me say this is Eric July's encounter with the police he had some sort of encounter There's video of this I just got pulled over by the cops on my way to the warehouse. He's always talking about his warehouse.

And then he inexplicably has taken a picture in his rear view mirror of the police, as though he needed to prove that the police were pulling him over. Interesting. No one has ever asked for evidence that a black guy's been getting pulled over by the police. Nah, that's not necessary.

Especially not in Texas, I would assume. And then somebody says, bro, don't lift up the phone like that. You're going to get shot, right? And Eric July says, and please let me read this. He says- Why is this? Eric says, if the pig was going to air me out- He's talking about our brave law enforcement officer that way.

Doesn't he need their help to protect his warehouse? Yeah. Didn't he invite six such pigs to his warehouse? He needs the help of the state to defend himself. If the pig was going to air me out, she'd done it when I told her I had a gun in the... Stop. Come on. Come on.

Where was his gun, Dick? If the pig was going to air me out, she had done it when I told her I had a gun... Where? Where's the gun? In the glove department. How does he always do this? How does he do this? That I reached for to get my insurance.

Like, how does one man have so many classic blunders on a level of just like, oh, let me just, hold on, officer. Let me, I don't want to alarm you But I do have my gun in the glove department glove department and you're where the glove department Where's that? It's where they have all is that where they have all the sales Do you know where you are right now, we're not in a Macy's there is no glove department So you're in your car. I'm gonna need you to step out. I need to see if you're in a green. Oh, why?

Because I got my... Oh, why? Because I got a gun in my glove department. Because I keep a gun in the glove department. Why don't you keep a gun in the glove department? This is office... This is car 52 down at the station. You're gonna want to hear this. Sir, can you tell me again where... Where your gun is for the...

Make sure you're recording this radio. Sir, can you tell me where your gun is? What, in the glove department? I got a gun in the glove department. This is America, I got my rides, and this is Texas. I keep my glove in the glove department. Let me just pull up here to the gas station area and we can talk about this for a second.

Mr. July. Sir, are you licensed to have your gun in the, where did you say you have it? The glove department! Hell no, I ain't licensed to have my, I don't need no license to have my gun in the glove department. Sir, you might, I mean you might need special permission to have your gun in a glove department. If that pig was going to air him out, at least he, she would have done it when he said the gun was in the glove department. Is it safe to keep your insurance in the glove department? I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know why he's talking about murdering police off. Or no, the police off. I keep it in my glove compartment. The police murdering him. Yeah. Yeah. Compartment.

I keep my insurance in the glove compartment. The glove department, I don't know. I don't. Anyone ever have gloves in there? Only guns. Well. What about the gun department? The gun department.

Yeah, in the gun department. Now, that would be a place to find a gun. Head up to Dick's Sporting Goods. I was going to say, he's always trapped in this weird libertarian thing of like, I hate the law. That might be a black thing. And then he goes, I'm going to hire Mike Baron, the guy who wrote the cop-loving Mike Baron.

Yeah, who is like a cop enthusiast, an old cop comic book. Yeah. Did you see what's his name? And Yellow Flash, who's married to a cop. I see Chuck Dixon's new book. Very exciting. Yellow Flash is very excited.

The AI? Yeah. The AI Slop book? Yeah, the Christian. Yeah, I can't wait for that the Crusades and all the art is AI and yellow flash did wow that looks fantastic and you're like that chick literally has six fingers on her head which horrible is like fine when you're just talking around AI we don't use it as a promo

for your campaign it looks terrible all right is that your problem yeah my problem was what did I say fucking Uh, yeah, my problem was, uh, what did I say? Uh, fucking women, women. Okay, my problem is though. Women pretending to be base. False piss driblets. False piss driblets? Fucking, it's winter time, that's the time of piss driblets. No, you're just making up a story now.

You're trying to justify the fact that you had piss driblets. Exactly. Did you have pissed riblets? I don't know anymore. You wash your hands. You wash your hands, and there's a little bit of water on your pants. And you walk out, and it's like, ugh.

You got to get darker pants. No, that doesn't help. Then it looks like cum. You got to use calicoatpants.com is what I was going to say. This is fake pissed riblets, though. This is fake pissed riblets. OK, that's my problem. Crote on my problem.

Nailed it. Ty, fuck that one up. You all remember Piss Dribblitz. Now it's false Piss Dribblitz. Everybody's peeing, having a good time. All right, that's the show. Vote on all the problems at biggestproblem.show. Guy's biggest problem in 2024.

Retrospective and exciting bonus episode, available at patreon.com slash biggest problem. Don't forget to see us at Hackamania. Oh yeah, we're selling a lot of tickets. May, I don't know, are we? Yeah, I think so. I wish I was in on whatever email tells us how many tickets we've sold.

It's just, it melts and posts them. It tells me whether or not to bring my A game or to show up with my B material. Okay, well it's on, if you want to see. Well, he doesn't say how many tickets. He says who's in the lead. So what else matters? Are we in the lead?

We were for a day. Wait, actually? Like it said, like, so we were in one update, and then who are these podcasts beat us or something like that? How would we not beat who are these podcasts? They should be beating us. What the hell are you talking about?

I just want to be the fucking creep off. Fuck Vinny. We could beat that fucking piece of shit. Fucker lost all this weight. He's lost weight? You haven't seen, yeah. No. I've been so involved in this Ralph drama that I-

No, he lost weight before we saw him last time, I think. Oh yeah, my bad. I did notice then. No, because he had some sort of health scare. He had to lose the weight. I don't know what happened. Was he scared he was too fat? Is that the health scare? He was scared of the fattest. He got scared of food. I had a health scare. I was scared I was getting too fat.

I was scared they were going to run out of food. No, he looks trim. Him and Tony from Hacked the Movies are working out. Everybody's losing the weight. Tony from Hacked the Movies fell off. He was looking good, but then he got fat again. Well, I was real happy for him and proud of him. What do you mean he got fat? He didn't get fat.

He blimped. He blimped up. No, no, no. I think what happened was he shaved his beard, and then he showed everybody that big fat face of his. He should've shaved the fat. That's what he needs to do. Shaving the beard was a mistake.

He's got one of those classic Italian fat faces. Nah, man. He's got one of those classic Italian fat faces. I can tell. I can tell that he was hitting the food too much over the holidays. Yeah, I couldn't have gained that much. Well, I don't know.

He's still working out. It's just one man's opinion. All I know is he's got a big fat face, big old head. Keep that beard on there. Makes your head look normal sized. Tony. Every time we rip on Tony for acting in the movies, I see a tweet from him two days later. I'm that beard on there. Makes your head look normal sized. Every time we rip on Tony from Hacking the Movies, I see a tweet from him two days later.

I'm not ripping on him. I'm just saying he was doing great. You said he got fat. That's not being positive. Vito, that's a normal objective statement that I'm making. The fucking scale isn't making a judgment. It's just saying the weight. OK?

Tony was doing great, and now he looks like a big fucking hippo. That's not a judgment. Tony from Hack the Foodies is what it looks like right now. It should be Tony from Hack the Salads. That's what I want to see. Hahahaha! Hahahaha! That's pretty good.

Now he's going to say a bunch of cow shit about me. See? No problem. All right. You ready for that say a bunch of cow shit about me. See? No problem. All right. You ready for this? Today we're hacking Hidden Valley Ranch. Is it really the most hidden of valleys?

Let's find out. No, hack the croutons. Hack the croutons. Yeah, what kind of croutons are there? All right, here we go. Hey, Cock and Edo. Hi. When I saw Vito's reaction to the guy's cradle, his panic, I don't give a shit about magic,

but Vito's panic made me think Dick would back down and just give Vito the card. I thought I might. Because it would cause Vito so much pain. Instead, Dick turns into the fucking Joker. And burns a card. Yeah, that's great. See, I thought about- Well yeah, I think that Dick gives Dick

99% of his satisfaction. Thank you, it did, it did. I mean, I always in my head was like, what do I do when it shows up? And part of me was like, well, I should argue for it, or I should try to come up with a way to save it. I said, I can't. Scott.

But you're still, we can see you processing those emotions. That's what makes it so good. Yeah, again, it's a guy on death row going, well, maybe if I offered to jerk the executioner off, he'll let me go. And you can see that block going through your eyes. That guy has been jerked off by every prisoner in here, and he's never let any of them go.

But maybe he did. Maybe he did. I should have offered. I should have should offer you could have thought of something let's put it that way I could definitely could have thought of something and you didn't I maybe I'm just a quitter I just I could I said you know what there's nothing I can do okay I was a failure would have been like like all the buildup I can do. Uh, okay. I also feel like it would have been like, like all the build up. I can't go, oh, well, let's not fucking whatever. Well, it's not let's really. It's just me doing it.

Well, my hope was I'm like, he's only going to burn it a little bit. It'll still be playable. Finger pain is the biggest problem in the universe. I recently dropped out of society. So I've just been living in shanties in the National Forest. So my hands are always getting cold and then I heat them up by the fire and they get dry and they crack. And then I always have cuts on my hands. He's living in the wilderness. Biggest problems. Finger pain, secondary

pain, lips and tertiary problem would be. Homelessness. Small penis. What did he say? Shit. Something. Tertiary problem would be forever wiping. Wiping forever wipes. So it's like a crayon. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, that's gotta be bad when you're living in a tent.

Why are you living like that? Forever wiping. Yeah. Doesn't sound like fun. Gotta go ahead and get a job at Living in the way you live like that. Forever wiping. Yeah, doesn't sound like fun. Go ahead and get a job at Panda Express. I watched some of those videos of those guys who go to those cabins in the middle of nowhere. Yeah. It's pretty cool. What about them?

All this shit, they're trying to cook and everything keeps freezing. The cooking. That guy. It's interesting. The cooking. I see what they're eating. You know? Yeah. I'd eat this. What an incredible Vito's booty this week. Holy moly. I tell

you what, it's so funny every week of like Vito pretending like he gets the bit, you know? Shut up. And you know I'm a big fat guy too. I'm 6'2", like 230, 225. I wish I was that kind of fat. If I was a guy with a bunch of cute girls or something, someone's like, oh, like step on this scale, and it's like, I just do it. It's not a big deal, you know? I'm gonna sound like one of those fucking retards,

like body people, but it's like, you're still showing your head about the number. Everyone knows you're fucking fat, man. about the number everyone knows you're fucking fat man it doesn't matter you weigh yeah everybody or 350 you're just in your head so who cares what the number is every week just get on it be a good sport whatever you could have got your Shut up. You don't get it. You can just pretend like it's the same thing. This guy thinks he gets the bit. He doesn't get it. He doesn't get it. He doesn't get it.

All right, great show, guys. You guys are killing it. Thanks a lot. I get the bit more than this guy gets the bit. Oh, OK. There's more layers than this. What a loudmouth that guy was. I know.

What a jackass. What a jerk. Hey, what? Somebody posted a picture of something they might have sent into Vito's booty. What is it? Well, I think you posted it. It was a foil guy's cradle.

They did post that, yeah. Maybe it was a sold listing on eBay. I got to do this for another year. I got to do another year. I'm not confirming or denying if that card was sent in. I know. You could have just sent a picture of it. It could have just sent a picture of it. It could have just been a picture.

Who knows? Well, because the regular Gaius Cradle that we burned was worth about $800. Yeah, but they go up to $2,000. Well, that one is a foil judge promo Gaius Cradle that was only available to members of the Magic the Gathering Judge Invitational Program. Pretty valuable.

Yeah, there's really only a couple hundred of those in the world, I think. He probably didn't send that in. I hate this fucking bit so much. I hate it because I understand it, and I don't understand it. But do you get it? I don't fucking know anymore.

Do you get it? Do you get the bit? Well, no. The bit sucks. The bad bit. Here is a super chat. Let's read some super chats, guys. Don't forget, again, the biggest problem.show.

Vote on all the problems. And I will be streaming tonight. We will live direct the stream, because I finally figured out how to set it up. Oh, yeah. That's great. Finally got it. We got to play some video games.

I don't know what to play. OK. There you go. I assume people don't want some video games. I don't know what to play. OK, there you go. I assume people don't want. I've just been playing that Final Fantasy VII game. Actually, I'm playing the pirate game, the Ubisoft Assassin's Creed. There's a pirate Assassin's Creed?

Yeah, but it came out like 10 years ago, so it's actually good. Oh. Oh, it's like actually, I finally, I've never played it. I always heard it was good. I'm playing it. Is that like the Black Samurai game theme? Well, it's in the same universe.

But this one, you're a pirate. OK. And you're a white guy, which is incredible. Because you're like, they're never going to do that again. Whoa. We're going to play as a white guy in a video game? Is there a lot of lust in it and raping and stuff? I will say that at one point, there's

like this pirate I met who clearly has a lady voice. OK. And I was like, now, is that because the pirate's supposed to be like a younger pirate, so they got a lady to do the voice? Yeah. Or is that a secret trans pirate? I haven't gotten far enough in the storyline.

Kind of feels like it might be a trans pirate, but it might also just be. Well, not a trans, but like going in disguise, because you couldn't be a woman pirate. Right. OK. That's not a trans pirate. Yeah, they're going to claim her.

It's not. They're going to claim her. Mm. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. But it could be the video game thing, where if you have a younger, you know, no protag, you should get a lady to do the voice. Yeah, but.

It sounds a lot like a lady. Probably. There's got to be one lady in the game. It sounds so much like a lady that every time my pirate talks to her, I go, come on, you know it's a lady. You know it's a lady. Stop pretending.

Like, oh, hey, Billy. How you doing, Billy? Can you smell her? I mean, come on. Should be obvious. So I'm going to find out. I was going to, you know, I was going to. You're on the last episode.

What was I going to say? I feel like me and you should stream a game. I feel like you want to unite streaming and friends. What do you mean? You want to stream a lot and have like pal around kind of streams. OK. Yeah. That's right, right?

Who does that? What do you mean? Give me a comparison. Streamers do that. Sure. They're on Twitch all day, playing with their friends. Yeah. And that's their lifestyle.

It wouldn't be an all-day lifestyle thing. I do shows. An hour, two hours. So you want something that is not just like a leisure activity that is being broadcast online because we live in an era of pointless and meandering entertainment. You want something that is structured and thought out. Right. But I don't want to do, let's just play video games and put it on the internet.

No, I'm going, that's not where I'm at in my life. Why not? Like hanging around eating and then on the internet. No. I mean, that's not where I'm at in my life. Why not? Like, hanging around, eating, and then filming the eating. Yeah. Like, I don't, I have like a pretty clear, like, entertainment and like, life stuff. Well, I know we had always talked about doing a D&D show, and then I started thinking, I'm like, well,

aren't there like, video game, like, versions of that, that we could just do it online? You know, instead of having to get like, a tabletop thing together. But then it's like four hours, one day a week, for a week forever. Right. Like, I don't have time for that. Yeah, but what if you really enjoy it?

I don't. How do you know? Because it's making entertainment for the internet. I know what that is. No, but like playing D&D could be fun. Would you enjoy just playing D&D if it wasn't entertained? Like, if it wasn't streamed or filmed? No. How do you know? You've never done it.

Because I have a fucking family. I don't want to go play. I don't want to spend time playing D&D. I want to go to a D&D, bro. Fucking the Game of Thrones showrunners and Vince Maugham. No, it's too much. Have you ever heard that? That legendary Hollywood D&D game they got going?

I have enough stuff. I don't need D&D involved in. But what if all of a sudden it was like, oh my god, hey, this is this thing where I get together a bunch of guys and we all just have fun. We're slaying dragons. We're having a good time. It just sounds like a nightmare.

Right, but you could try it. With whom? Me like and then but who else whom else? I don't know other guys we like we can get other guy I like comedians or some comedians. It's Josh Denny maybe or something It's just like this show but another of this show and it's D&D, you know A lot of people do other it doesn't first of all doesn't have to be a show I think we just enjoy playing DD but no no no I think as long as, well, I know. But as long as we're doing it, I think

it would also be fun to do it with an audience and participation or whatever else. Yeah. OK. And yeah, we could get, I don't know, just pulling names out of our head. Justin Wang, Tony from Act of Movies. Justin Wang's not playing D&D with us.

Probably not. But I'm saying guys like that. OK. It sounds like work fun. It sounds like, like, work fun. Like it sounds like work at, like, the Work Throws of Bowling Alley event. And you're like, ehhh... Okay, so you're doing that thing where I know you enjoy entertaining people, you understand the basic premise of entertainment.

Yeah, but it's not filmed, it's not streaming, it's like me just being normal. It's not making an entertainment. That's what a fucking radio show is, that's what this is. No, that's not what this is. This's what a fucking radio show is. That's what this is. No, that's not what this is. This is like played up to 10. You can do a little of that during the fucking D&D thing, but now it's like there is structure. The structure is the DM being like a dragon enters you.

OK, how would I react to this in a funny and interesting way? What would my character do? Literally collaborative storytelling for a man who writes scripts and books and argues with me about the correct fucking pitch treatment. Okay? It just seems gay! It seems fucking gay! The act of creating things is gay! It's the gayest fucking thing in the world!

No, it's not creating anything, though. It's just like... It's collaborative storytelling. It's not filler. No, it is filler. Many great projects... Do you watch them? Do you watch any of these shows? I've watched... You have watched. Do you watch any? Not the current ones. There you go. There you go. Why don't you watch them? Because shows? I've watched, uh. You have watched. Do you watch any? Not the current ones.

There you go. Why don't you watch them? Because they're not any good. No, because they're a bunch of fucking gay theater kids. We would do it fun. But I don't want to do it fun. You don't want to do fucking anything. I know.

It doesn't sound like fun. You don't know that, because you haven't done it. I know. It's D&D. We could do one. We could get a virtual Dungeon Master. We set up the program. But you see, you're explaining the win case

is something I don't want to do. I don't want to stream four hours of D&D. First of all, it doesn't have to be four hours. You can do it three hours. Two hours. Two hours a night. I don't want to give a night to D&D every week. Well, do the fucking Trailer Park Boys podcast then.

That I'm into. Now, if I can get a DM to run a Trailer Park Boys RPG for us and set up a world where we create Trailer Park dentists and characters that have to level up and commit petty crimes and alcohol thefts and you have a meter to track your drug usage, you have to collect cigarettes, go around town, evade the Canadian authorities. Now that could be...

Just a loose pitch, you know? The whole thing about tabletop role playing is you can come up with whatever theme you want. We level up our characters, you know, develop resiliences to different alcohol. Corey and Trevor could show up to give us a mission. You're telling me that we could do Dungeons and Dragons, Trailer Park Boys. Absolutely. And Sunnyvale. Yeah. And Mr. Leahy would be there. Yeah, of course, we could have the good seasons. Season four. Yeah. And Mr. Leahy would be there?

Yeah, of course. We could have the good seasons. Season four, five. The DM can have Leahy be an antagonist, perhaps. Whatever. Anything can happen in the exciting, fast-paced world of role playing. And I could be Ricky?

You can be Ricky if you want. Absolutely. You can literally role play as Ricky we can come up with a buy the books adventure in the mystical land from packed the movies can be there yeah and Vinnie can be there you guys can be the characters you could run you through you could be rolling dice to make a drink you have to drink. Virtual drinks? Yeah, virtual drinks, sure. God damn it, I'm in. It doesn't have to be, you know, fucking dragons and shit, it could be anything. It's not a bad idea. Honestly, if somebody told you there is a

podcast where the guys play trailer parkour. I would listen to every episode. And they're just rolling dice and going on fucking liquor adventures. You'd probably listen to it. You would enjoy it. I'm in. OK. Well, let's see if there's a way to make it happen. At least we've come to something you'd be interested in.

Yeah, you got it. You win. Jaimajin for two. Thanks for not killing yourself. Synthetic ShieG for two. Thanks for not killing yourself. SyntheticShanoby for two. Thanks for not killing yourself. SyntheticShoby for two. Biggest problem are plain windows not aligning with seats.

That is a good problem. CardinalCardinal for five. Man, I just got to say, we love veto. We love you, Cardinal. WetBandit for 20. On January 15, 2024, the TruxMe shirt went live originally in black. HeatherXL sold out the same day and never restocked.

It's now been over a year since that color size combination has been sold out. Can you put it back? Can you fix it? OK, explain to me what I need to do. You want, sure. Black and Heather black in all the sizes of Trexme. You want all the blacks in all the sizes.

Yeah. All the blacks. Do you want me to write that down? All blacks. Just go on the fucking site and try to order it. It goes sold out. Fix that. Hold on.

Hold on. No. Sell blacks. Got it. OK. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. LJ. Hold on, hold on. No, it's sell blacks. Got it, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. LJ Clauberino for five biggest problems. Dropping your phone while on the charger and the tip snaps off.

Diamond G for two. Insert Chuck Dix in my ass here. Coup for five, thanks for not killing yourselves. Reminder, Aaron lied about being a boxing coach. I gotta catch up on that drama before Hackamania. No, no, I talked to Carl on my bonus episode. He's gonna help us out? Yeah, and I'm saying I want everybody's help on the biggest problem in the dabble verse.

That's what we're doing. We need the deep lore, we need the good moments. We're not doing our dumb show. We're doing the biggest problem in the dabble verse. All we're going to fucking talk about. Yeah, I will say this, if you're coming to Hackamanian, also catch yourself up on the Aaron M. Holt lore and the Stuttering John lore. I'm going to get, we need to go, or maybe I missed me

on the My Little Piggy show or whatever they have. Mm-hmm. And get caught up so we can have problems, you know? The biggest problem in Aaron Imholt. The biggest problem in Stuttering Stummering John. I could do a lot on the Nick Reketa stuff. I think there's a lot there. There's a lot of changes every day.

A lot of changes. Nick wrote Aaron Imholt a poem today about eating his comb. Did you see his poem about? Yeah. Yeah. It's nice that Nick is now unrestrained. It changes every day. Nick wrote Aaron Emholdt a poem today about eating his comb. Did you see his poem about it? Yeah. It's nice that Nick is now unrestrained from court. So does Aaron Emholdt just have to, I was going to say, eat it. But he already did that.

But can he fire back a Nick Ricaner? No, because he's not allowed to talk about like. He's too busy jacking off and coming. Well, yeah, he gets off on it. So I think don't you lose eternally once your interest in cuckold pornography becomes like, well, you can't be like the alpha guy now because you're like, oh yeah, yeah, I let you fuck my wife and I got off on it. Take that Nick Riketa. And you're like,

man, I think he's got to move on from this topic. I don't know. He said that Carl said he was challenging me to a boxing match. You challenged everybody. Aaron M. Holt wanted to box everyone at hackamania, and they started going, you guys are pussying out. I got a gym that's ready to do it, but you guys got to sign a release. I'll sign the release. Yeah. I'll do it.

But I think it turned out that he was- But I'm going to come out and- Murder him. Punch him in the balls. Or kick him in the balls. I'll take the point. I'll take the DQ on my record. Yeah. I'll sign all the balls. I'll take the point. I'll take the DQ on my record Yeah, I'll sign all the forms

I'll take all the physicals but I and if this if Aaron's a bitch and he doesn't want to have that fight Because he's too scared. I think that I'm telling you this I promise I'm going to come out and punch you This style yeah, right in testicles. And if I miss, I will do it again. Mortal Kombat style uppercut. I'm only going below the belt. Yeah.

My record will be 0 and 1 disqualification, criminal misconduct. You know, there's a problem that maybe I need to say it, but it's the fake boxing match. Jeff, you're too much of a bitch. OK. It's like, again, yellow flags, like, I want to fight you. And I was like, this is retarded.

And then Ralph wanted to fight me last week for some reason. Ralph said, we're going to have eight pound gloves, or we're going to do eight rounds. And I said, I challenge Ethan Ralph to a tickle fight. He's like, oh. I saw it was funny. I know, because I'm like, what are you doing? We're not going to box.

You got to calm down, man. Shut the fuck up. I have no reason to box you. All right, Prince of Man for two, who the fuck is Dick Moosterson to lecture about addiction? He got you there. Wait up, man. Dick Moosterson?

That's pretty good. They're really nailing you to the wall. No, that's one of our fans. Stop it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You just keep going juju juju. And I'm like, you guys got to get something else here. There's nothing here. That means like it has a lot of connotations, guys. It doesn't mean like people don't hear it and think. When I say Eric Shalai's illiterate, they're mine and they're not thinking the word illiterate. That's very true. They're thinking something else. Javcini for 10 Australian since crying.

Get 100k for a late comic. He has been big-leaguing his friends, guests, and fans. He doesn't chat with his Vitofile fans on Discord and takes them for granted. Oh, you do take them for granted. I don't know how to chat on Discord very well. Send me a direct message and say hi. It's supposed to be pedophile friendly.

Are you sure? The only messenger I use is Twitter. Like, if you don't send me a message on Twitter, I don't see it. Sometimes I try to pop into the Discord, but I get confused because there's a bunch of different rooms. So I'm like, do I got to go in general? I could go in the VetoFile room. Those two, yeah. Yeah, I tried to. There's a bunch of different rooms. So I'm like, I gotta go in general. I could go in the veto file room.

Those two. Yeah. Yeah. I tried to go. You nailed it. I know, but what I gotta do it every day. Yeah. Okay. Diamond G for two. Uh, honor the $65 super chat from last week for fog. I didn't plug it in. I'm sorry. Cardinal Cardinal for five. Shout out to our good friend. That's niggering niggerly niggler. Always making us look inward. It'll clobbering over five, which is where it's big medical denying health claims niggler always making us look inward. El Clavarino for five. Inward, I get it. Which is where it's big medical denying health claims for big fire denying home protection.

Dude, that fire insurance shit is fucked, but also, I don't know, I get it. The insurance company's like, your state is not cleaning up this brush. You're living in a fucking disaster zone. What do you do? You can't really insure ensure it's like the guys whose houses fall in the ocean they're like well dude don't build your house next

to the fucking ocean what do you want me to do yeah yeah yeah it's like an insurer like earthquake like oh the whole state was knocked down can we have some money we have some money it's like no no you're fucked it's not sorry you can't have you can't have a have an insurance that goes up over time. Yeah. Like people with, you know what I mean? It should be like, yeah, it's this much now, and then it goes down over time.

This house is worth the same to me forever. You can't price insurance like that. Here's another thing about the fires, is I've been seeing videos of guys who are like, well, they told everyone to evacuate, but I just stayed here with my hose and put out any fires that got near my house. And it worked. Yeah, it absolutely worked.

And I'm like, I feel like if you're in a fire, or like, one guy just put sprinklers on his roof. He's like, I just hooked- My neighbor's mom did that, and it worked. Yeah. She evacuated, she put that shit, those shit. She just had the sprinklers running on top. She came back, hers was the only house that survived. It's like, why shit, those shit. She just had the sprinklers running on top. She came back.

Hers was the only house that survived. It's like, why don't you guys give us $8 sprinklers? Yeah, why'd the fucking fire department not say, hey, just run the fucking hose before you leave or something? I mean, I don't know how much water, if there's enough for every house. But it kind of seems like if you're in that fire area, I don't know.

Have a shit ton of sandbags to like fucking Oh shit I did plug it in. Oh good work. I had it plugged in all week It does seem like one of those things where if I was living in that area I'd be like well, you know, I don't know I'm gonna do something about this El clobber. Oh, yeah, Jacob Sureshia for 800. Hello, sir. Juju the cow shirt win in India We worship cows gonna have a cow and pig shirt hanging out. Eight bucks for that. Probably is your two different animals. You're also the trickster rabbit god of the animal kingdom.

The horse doesn't get enough attention, though. The horse? Ralph is reading all the texts. I was like, wait a minute. There's a horse in there. How come? Wait a minute. There's a lot of animal-themed stuff going on.

Wait just a minute. All that Columbo bags. Wait a minute. What? Black Crimson forbo bags. Wait a minute. What? Black Crimson for five. Thanks for the snacks and thanks for not killing yourselves. Cameron for two. Put the blow black doll on a cross.

I'm going to have to put tits on it in about a couple months it seems like. J-Rob detailing Ireland for five. Hello gents, I'm detailing tomorrow so I'll miss the live show. I'm going to get some sleep and then I'll listen during work as always. Cheers. J-Rob, send me some examples of your detailing. I want to see it. My Cut for 10, the superior Lynch Dune movie,

didn't explain it well. But the reason people have miraculous powers is because they developed their minds and bodies after thinking machines were outlawed. Oh, is that part of Dune? Sure, everything's part of Dune. Whatever you can imagine is in Dune. I found my copy of Dune again.

I remember why I didn't read this the first time. Lawrence Devaney for two, leave Maddox alone. Oh, I know. That poor guy, he got his joke stolen. Oh yeah, that. His joke that anyone could have come up with and probably did. Yeah, that people have been saying

since the beginning of time, I'm gonna eat more meat to make up for the vegetarians. At what point as a comedian do you go, well, that joke's 20 years old. I'm now longer going to claim ownership over it when you've been when you haven't made a joke in 20 Years, yeah We'll find out when Maddox stops crying about reddit stealing his shitty one-liner I remember when a you know Rodney Dangerfield famously would call up guys who he heard saying I get no respect and go hey Hey, hey, hey, that's my thing that's my thing Jacob Richie for two climate change caused the Gaia's

cradle fire enormous stits for five I like that ballsy move by the pirate find a treasure trove of Pokemons and the very next week make card burning a bit on the show you know you can get even Chef Boyardee for two says, black people. You know they're going to make me laugh. Jeff Sinead for five. That's funny. That's not boring. Black people.

Just get on the scale for $50 a toy. Vito, why feel shame over some numbers when we all see your fat carcass on the camera already? Elite Komodo for two, rip card. Ben Shaw for five. Rich, you say soarcy incorrect. What is this word? That's Eric July's new comic, Soarcy.

Oh. Also, for all your corrections on Champing at the Bit, you get Hemming and Hawing. Every time, Vito is large. Hemming and Hawing? What is it? Hemming and Hawing. That sounds correct to me.

OK. Hooming and Haoming. Yeah. Hemming and Hemming. That's what we always say. I keep all my hems in the glove department. Dick Peninsky for $ me. OK. Hooming and homing. Yeah, hemming and hemming. That's what we always say. I keep all my hems in the glove department. Dick Peninsky for $5.56. Hey, Balder, enjoy the night.

Silver, the Cold Steel for $5. My god, how is this possible? Super color's still not out. Vito's still the size of a house. Now that's the biggest problem in the universe. Vito's Gaius Cradle for $14.99 Australian. Vito, how could you let Dick do this to me? How could you let Dick do this to me?

All I had to do was get on the scale. Now I'm burnt in half. Clip's over two. Biggest problem, barnyard party win! All I had to do was get on the scale. Now I'm burnt in half. Clip stopper for two, biggest problem, barnyard party win. All day, man, as soon as the cameras are off. Next time we have a live show, Bona, you get a dollar off drinks if you wear a cow cuss.

How's that? Yeah. Cow, a rabbit, or a pig, I think. Fad for a hundred. A hundred somethings. Vito, go make a voiceover video for the people storming a shop to fight the Pokemon car. We did watch that video.

Biggest movie fight in the universe when? Maybe we should have Alex Ignora. Well, Alex Ignora used to do a thing called Movie Fight. I forget what the format was. Utah based on Armenian for five. The government did jack shit to protect people from the fire, but they deployed the National Guard to protect the fire from Vito.

It's true. They kept me away. NGR lover. Yeah, wonderful. Neon Genesis or Evangelion for two. I truly love you. OK. Big Smoke for 50 says, I hope it's a mother's milk.

Oh, me too. Get on the scale. Me too. I hope it's not that $2,000 card. NGR for five. Vito is a gain. OK, everyone's trying to get me to say a word. DeadSaneFembo for two, as an artist fan of Charlie Headbo's

Elon series. I haven't seen it, actually. He looks like a pig. That's funny. I'm glad those guys are going strong. Dean Shock for five, Vito discovers the beauty of art at the tender weight of 400 pounds. Thanks for the laughs, boys.

Reist and Bailey for two, global warming is real, and we've got nothing to do with it. Dick Poninski for five, 56, because garbled audio. Oh, we're back there. Reist and Bailey for two. This is Vito Reed. Albert Kamis. Oh, the stranger. Think about that.

I think it's pronounced Kamis. I think I'm not French, so I can say it however I want. Ha's a fucking Epsler country anyway. Crunch Knocks for five. Vito, it's so brave of you to have opinions on any research. Dick Poninski for 556. Pre-order Vito's brand new comic Fuck Scales. Scales. Yeah, the anti-dieting book.

That sounds cool. Gurr, 3009 for five. Please invite Carl Jobs on the show to explain to Dick why grading is scam. I want Carl to come back. That would be good. For two, he says guaranteed Vito mispronounces Kamus or Kamus.

It's Kamus. Kamus. The stranger? Yeah. The author of The Stranger? I have a copy of The Stranger. Do you? All right.

I got like 10 pages in it. I went, I know all this. I come buckets for five. I'm when Vito rejected the gay twinks living twink offer. That's why Vito is jealous of my little boy. Oh, yeah., yeah, I bet that guy still keeps me updated on his twink lifestyle though He's building a nice of them draft first suit currently a draft what he's a beer like a draft furry I think it's a draft. Maybe it's a oh a giraffe. Yeah Like a giant neck. It looks like it looks like Jeffrey from Toys R Us with huge tits

which is Like a giant neck? It looks like Jeffrey from Toys R Us with huge tits. Which is kind of scarring in a way. Is my fursona supposed to be a lady cow or a boy cow? Well, they put udders on it, so it has to be a lady cow, right? How is it a furry, but it's got no tits then? Well, that's the- How's my cock getting milked? As six cocks? I don't know.

That's why you stick with the horse. The horse is good. Well, yeah, OK. So anyway, our fans are out there figuring it out. Giraffic. Dick is on his own fur-sona journey right now. I got a bunch of them. We'll see where that goes.

Crunch Knocks for two. How much to watch y'all bang? That's not where you put the apostrophe in y'all, idiot. Cardinal Carlin for two. Vito, did you grow up in an area that was seedy? No. Cardinal Carlin for five. Seedy's nuts.

Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Nailed it. He nailed it. He got us with the twofer. You got us. You got us, Cardle. Cardle, you scallywag. Frank Lucas for five. He's freaking out like a woman parallel parking every time the hammer comes out. Doesn't correlate with a normal childhood.

You guys do not understand how heavy that hammer is. Shoebox, Kingdom for five. Maga Vito is the only acceptable Vito. You look good in the hat, but I feel bad for it. Imagine how much Vito head scum is all over it. Probably a lot. Johnny Rockard for five. Last week, Milo said on Twitter he just recovered

from two months of pneumonia. Oh, is that how long pneumonia takes when you've got the AIDS? Two months you know our mistake and pneumonia was the name of the guy whose dick was Just recovered from pneumonia drag queen That dumped me because we have incompatible types of any pneumonia. She's a she's an excellent He found out about my political activism

and saw how lame it was. I wasn't watching the camera. Does he have a living trans girlfriend? A wife. And he claims he never ate poop. He eats poop all the time. He's eating poop off dicks. If you're in the gay community that long,

at some point, a guy had you eat his butt, I'm sure. And Milo, you did it. Look at you. Enormous stints for two. Biggest problem is Rekka Stingers. No, we love Rekka. His lockjaw is so bad, he can't even blow black guys anymore. That's why he had to quit.

That's why he had to quit. That's why he had to go straight. Oh, darling, give me that BBC. Come on, you can shove it in, darling. The Coke really rubbed away at his teeth. I think it's meth. You think it's meth? His thought pattern, people on Coke get very reserved,

and they make outbursts, talking like that. And his thoughts are just disjointed and whack-a-dunk. So the gay thing is he's trying to cover from his nervous drug energy. But you're like, no, you're just on something. Yeah. That makes you sufferable. no, you're just like on something. Uh, yeah. That makes you a dyazepam and I don't think it's ketamine. Maybe some over the black, some prescriptive nonsense crunch nacks for two.

How many nickels can you hold in your butt and run? I don't know. Probably two bucks. That's a good question. I could fit a lot in my, don't they kind of hold themselves? I could fit a lot of nickels in there, I think. Mic on for five. Biggest problem is.

Are you allowed to use the butthole though? Or it has to be between the cheeks? Well, then I could. Then you could fit like a million nickels. Then I could just swallow them. Then you could take a whole roll and just lube it up. Biggest problem is Seth Rogen straight up plagiarizing a scene from Trains, Planes, and Automobiles in Ted 2.

It's not a reference. It's comedy. Did Seth Rogen make Ted 2? I don't know. Drunken Atheist Studio for 2. I think he met Seth MacFarlane, not Seth Rogen. Mac has that insufferable Nancy Grace accent. Shout out to Drunken Atheist Studio, who put together

some of our clips recently. Mike Comforten in the New Zealand TV show Seven Periods with Mr. Gormsby. The British teacher has his Maori students do blackface and sing a tune. Don't say that. You couldn't make that show today. That's true.

Crunch Knocks for two. Vito, is your shitter bright pink or dirty brown? I think it's pretty pink. Your toilet? I have a very clean butthole, because I take a lot of showers. You're talking about your anus. OK.

Well, yeah. Why would my toilet be bright pink? It's not pink. Why would your asshole be bright pink? Because you wash it. I wash my butt. Mike Hunt for five. Sorry. It it was 10. Stop saying that word! Haka so the Haka is done in blackface. New Zealand. I was gonna say you see when Milo tried to compare us to some British

TV show only he's heard of absolutely fabulous. You guys ripped off Ting Tong's Mr. Pippi Chips! And I'm like no one knows. And I used to watch that show I was getting my ass fucked by my priest and another priest and all these priests that I love and I'm like no and I used to watch that show is getting my ass fucked by my priest another piece I know these pieces I love and I absolutely loved your darling Don't let you think otherwise who penis come come up the ass in the ass in your mouth Come your big gets are you're a cow I'm a pedophile and we ripped off some British show no one's ever heard of sounds like a winning podcast formula to me I don't understand how Nick Fuente survived this onslaught. Survived that biting commentary.

Juwan for 10. Speak in crocodile hunter accent. I actually made Shad and Brix is Australian. Claudia Black accent. His type of Australian accent is considered more sophisticated. Speaking Asian. Oh, he's Australian. That explains why he's so fucking sheltered.

JohnnyRocket5 looks like Trump's banishing Vivek to Ohio for running his mouth. Good. Cardinal Indiainal 5. Ohio, India. Yeah. Ohio is a gay massage parlor in Bangladesh that he's sending him to. He's sending him to Japan.

Oh! At the Strawberry Slumber Party playing Candy Land with the Slytherin Sandman. These were not crimp pills. He keeps casting Ka-tube. Oh, you almost got him. I'm Keith. I knew that was coming. Boss Hogg gives us some money, thank you.

Thank you. Teo for five. Cernovich has been ducking up with his Gen-X Bulls, but yeah, Cernovich's really on the get a job at Panda Express train. I've tried to bite my tongue, cause he does follow me. Well, I love Cernovich.

I don't know why, I don't know if he still follows me. He knows what's going on, so I trust him, but. He loves Max Cool. Chef Boyardale for five. Who up strogan de beef right now? Up strogan de beef right now. Brendan Swann for five. 330k mortgage, 2,700 payment, 40k salary tradesman.

Wife has a master's and works at a daycare. We just can't have kids yet. Impossible. Rex Exer for five. Northot Fry Cook will join the GOP's list of noble occupations. Clumber, electrician, police officer, firefighter. Occupations are getting worse every year.

It used to be, well, you could be a plumber. You could be a tradesman. You should be a frycook. Yeah. Now it's going to be rooting around for milk in the garbage. You could do that. Don't whine so much.

Why did I think, why Panda Express of all the play? You know? Because he just typed, it's the first time ever in his life, he typed in job ad on Google. Hot fart dingledore for five. Shout out to my boy, Nikola. OK. Hot fart dingledore for two has a emoji of a penis says,

ah, I'm coming, ah, penis, ah. Yulim Ovet, I have no idea, for 20. All right, Dick, as a Gen Xer, would you say you've experienced the success you have now more due to your luck or your skill? I'm not trying to be a smart ass. I'm generally interested in your sentiment on this matter. I mean, you don't know.

You don't know where it comes from. Well, the honest thing to say is to say, obviously, it's not like I'm retarded. I had to acquire some level of skills and marketability and whatever. It's not like you can't do anything. Yeah, but what does that matter? Everybody can do things.

Who knows if it was luck? I'm saying that it's these guys who go, oh, it's all hard work. And I go, no, I can point at the time that I met this guy named Dick Maddison, and I saw he had a big Patreon. I said, how do I get a piece of that? And I slowly warmed my way into his heart, and took over Havis Podcasts, and now I own 50% of it.

So just do that. Just hitch your wagon to somebody else's star. Find Apple Man for five. Wait for Riley to sneak in. I mean, even if you think it's all you, just don't ever say it. Don't ever be the guy who's like, yeah, I got here because it's all just 100% hard work. That's all it was a hundred percent hard work

Give good advice and the good advice is not get a job at Panda Express Say listen in today's very competitive cutthroat environment. You do have to develop certain skills, but it's very important to cultivate relationships Here's you know relationships. I cultivated to help me along the way Like at no point that's the thing. They're giving advice talking about You're talking about relationships. Well, like, just like, you know, I think- You're talking about Panda Express. Right, well, that's what I'm saying is, I'm saying what they should be saying is, like, obviously guys, like, you know, I don't know,

I don't know who exactly to point at, because I don't know everybody's history, but in my life, I've found that the pathway to getting to where you want to be is finding guys who are, like, you know, in the field you're interested in and being useful to them, you know? Okay. Not you.

Shut up. But I'm saying like, you know, when I wanted to work in the game industry, they were like, oh, well, we're starting up a new thing. We need like some trailers made or whatever. And I'm like, yeah, I'll do that. Like whatever. Like when I was getting into comedy, I was the guy who would just film everybody set. I just brought my camera to every stand-up thing,

and I filmed everybody's set, and I gave them a copy of it. And I made a lot of friends in comedy that way. Just be useful and helpful and have skills that are valuable. OK. And don't be the guy who just tells everybody, well, we should all just get jobs at Penn Express, bro. Pineappleman for five, shout out to Baggish Schmitt. I made a third model in a 3D model in a blender of Donkey Kong except with Jimmy Neutron's head.

I call him Jimmy Kong. I'm animating a video soon. That's nice. That's tremendous. Sir Seatsitter for two. Welcome back, Malgahat Vito. Thank you. Clapchap the Destroyer for five. Good Lord, Melanie Mac is so dumb.

Yeah, Crunch Knocks for seven. Vito, when you squirt, is it a hot country gray view? JJ for five. Most of the games are porn people have honest to God sexual dysfunctions. Chefboyrd4two, had real piss triplets at school the other day. Well that's not the problem, so don't vote it up if you're voting for piss triplets. Jerry and Coke for 10, great show Dicks and Beats.

Thanks Jerry and Coke. What else do we got here? Anyone tells you the path to success is to get a shitty job at Panic Express as a bad person. The best, honestly the best message is you're probably fucked. Like you're probably fucked. And when Melanie Magtel is you stop sitting around jerking off, she's a bitch and a whore and you should absolutely keep jerking off. It doesn't matter.

Biggest problem, Benjamin for 10. Biggest problem is Mugga Grifters. Vito gets a pass but it just broke. It just broke that Snoop Dogg will be performing at the inauguration. Oh, fuck off. He hated Trump his first term, shot him dead in a video, shaking my head.

Yeah, Snoop. What was I gonna say? I'm so fucking tired of Snoop Dogg. Did you see Hulk Hogan getting booed? I was like, what did you think was gonna happen? In LA. Did you see that video? Yeah, it comes to LA and he's like, hey, you guys remember how I was like, what did you think was gonna happen? In LA. See that video? Yeah.

It comes to LA and he's like, hey, you guys remember I was like campaigning for Trump like crazy? No! And everybody in LA is like, what the, get the fuck out of here! I'm like, you picked LA and like, what did you think? Yulim, you vote for Lachey.

Look, we all see, all the left is secretly like Trump, but we still have to boo you in public, come on. Well, it's Hulk Hogan, you know, fuck Hulk Hogan. He's kind of a... He fucked everyone over, fuck him. He did fuck a lot of people over. They all know that he fucked everyone over. Recall back when Eric was heebin and jeebin

about Vito and Dick making fun of him, he said he'd air them out. Then to calm down his white audience, he said, that just mean air out like talk it out, shit, don't mean nothing. Yeah, he did say that, I remember. He always has a new interpretation of what he said. Frank, 12 for five, why does Vito think there's more layers to every simple thing?

I don't know. The Jerry and Colt for 10. I see beyond the veil, man. Too drunk, but biggest problem in the universe is power steering failure in your ship box winter car. Good bicep workout every morning and afternoon, though. Too cheap to fix, only to be scrapped. Rip Buick. Captain Cheese for 5. Sean agreed to try D&D on his own show, and then the next week he left the Dick's show. Choose your words wisely. Is that true?

Yeah. Dean shot for two. You think we'll get Sean back to do a fucking D&D? No. Use a really simple RPG system like Savage's World, okay? Other in for two, I love Cardinal. Other in for two, not we. The Jerry and Coke for 10, I would pay 20 bucks

to see Dick play Jim Lahey. I feel like Lahey's gotta be an NPC. I don't think any player could be Lahey. The DM has to be Lahey. Yeah, other in for two, just I. Zeta Quinsel for two, Vito Phillip at Bo Black's plush with your baby goo. No.

Big boss for two. Would you ever have DSP on as a guest on the show? Yeah, I guess so. I don't really. You could call in for a second, but. I don't really get him or care about it. It's like the Chris Chan thing. Well, it's just like, after you've watched,

there's some guys who are just there, you know? So DSP started streaming before anybody else started streaming, and he did it every day. And now it's like, I watched this retarded guy stream games every day. Why? Is he entertaining? Nope.

But he's there. Yeah. This guy for five says, he's there. Yeah. This guy for five says, it's a bad word. Michael Phee for five, anemic Joe Dirt trying to be relevant. His fans in the Facebook group dead naming Richard. Is it 2017? I don't know.

Who's anemic Joe Dirt here. Shitlits for five, that D's nuts was incredible. It was great. Aspartame brain tumor for two, veto you get an A++ plus rank in Golden Axe. No, I have not. Dayman for two. I would also listen to every episode and subscribe. Dungeons and Dragons and Trailer Parks. Dungeons and Dragons and Sunny...

You want a Veto childhood story? What? About Golden Axe. What? I got a good story. You have a story about Golden Axe? Well, people like hearing stories about my fucked up childhood experiences. So, you know how my dad ran Domino's Pizza?

Right. So the local roller rink, they sold Domino's Pizza. So we had a little deal with them to deliver Domino's Pizza there. And then they had a thing where they had a Golden Axe arcade machine, and they were going to give it to whoever had the most tickets at the end of the month. So my dad, it's like we played it fair, but he kind of had an advantage in that we figured out how, he was in there all the time. So we'd go in, they had one of those coin dumper games,

where if you shoot it, it'll dump the coin. You get a shit ton of tickets. Sure. So he's at the roller rink every day. Get winning tickets. Yeah, winning tickets. Well, he just won then. Yeah, but I felt really bad, because the kid who came in second,

it was an actual child competing against an adult who's in the roller rink every day as part of his job. And I'm like, well, it is kind of cool that we won a Golden Axe arcade machine. But you're here every day. You have kind of more. What are you talking about? But I'm saying it's like if the guy at the roller rink wanted,

it would be kind of fucked up. Yeah, but your dad's going there for business purposes. He's going there for business purposes. He probably wanted it for you. And then it would stop in the air. And you're fucking ungrateful, like usual. I'm not ungrateful. I just remember seeing the look on the other kid's face,

because he's like, I have so many tickets. There's no way I'm not going to win an arcade machine. And then my dad, who just every day is there, he goes in the arcade. Fuck him. He did this for you. I know, but he had like a business relationship. I feel like we should have been exempted from the contest. So give it back. I already sold it years ago. Yeah, you sold it. Yeah, yeah. Classic Vito. But we did have a Golden Eye X arcade machine. Not only am I ungrateful, but I'm also not gonna make restitution.

I feel like it was against the spirit of the competition for a vendor. Okay. To be collecting up arcade tickets. You know what that means? Arrrr. Now what does that mean? After a very special episode last week, we're back for everyone's favorite. Who? What's? So uh... what's... So yeah, what's the game where we smash all the toys? VEETO'S BOOTY! The man who treats about the little guys!

VEETO'S BOOTY! The box, you know you want it! VEETO'S BOOTY! Don't get on the scale or I'll smash it to shit! VEETO'S BOOTY! VEETO'S BOOTY! VEETO'S BOOTY! VEETO'S BOOTY! VEETO'S BOOTY! Vito's booty, Vito's booty, Vito's booty, Vito's booty!

Don't rush it. You see that I've got a big, big Vito's booty here. I know. I know. And it could be a tiny thing in there. You try to filibuster me, you try to like get me all in my head by talking over me and play that stupid drum sound effect. Increase your anxiety. Arrrrr. Shut up. Here's the deal. Arrrrr. Here's the deal. I know your mentality. I know your fucking psychology. You said you were going to save up for reveals so I put something really good in here because I knew you weren't getting on the scale. You're such an asshole. So here's what I think is... Don't play the fucking drum. Look. There's five drum rolls and then you have to pick the tier going to a rainy day. I think you in your head, here's what I said. I said he goes, well I burned something so good last time that Vito must... Was that good? Vito must know that I wouldn't burn two great things in a row. So that means

I'm going to put something great in there because Arrr. Because he's definitely not going to do it now. Arrr. But then what? I don't care. I'll just get on the scale. OK. What about your big reveal? I don't care.

What happened to the big reveal, though? Well, it's over. That's nice. I don't care. Shut up. You're going to be glad you did. Good. Great.

It's going to be two mother's milk. No, I promise. It's an oversized mother's milk. Backwards. He put it backwards, he did. He put the scale backwards, yo ho, yo ho! The scale is backwards for me! Da da da da da da da da da da!

Last one was 289.9 this time is oh Maybe this could be your big reveal What how long were you gonna make us wait for the big reveal? It's now point nine it was It was 289.9. Now it's 288.1. So it's 1.8 pounds. 1.8 pounds. So basically nothing.

Pretty good. No, it's not. Better than going up. All right, whatever. Well, you're going to be glad that you did. Yeah, sure. Because in this box. It's you're going to be glad that you did. Yeah, sure. Because in this box... It's a giant Funko Pop, I'm sure.

I have something very special for you. We just opened it. Do I really got to reach for it? Just pull it out yourself. This is so retarded. Here it is. Really special prize... It's actually big.

...that you got. It's actually big and it's a giant Funko Pop like you thought that it was going to be. I can't believe somebody wasted the time to mail this stupid thing. It's a giant Funko Pop like you thought that it was going to be. I can't believe somebody wasted the time to mail this stupid thing. It's a Hulk. Smash. It's a Hulk Ragnarok Funko Pop. That's the show, everybody. I thought I was going to get a magic card.

What a great. I got a Hulk Funko Pop. Maybe there's a magic card in it. There's not. I know there's not. There's nothing. There's never anything in any of these. It's all retarded. What do you mean? That's gotta be a special, I've never seen a Funko Pop like that big before.

Is there actually, there's nothing in here. Why are you making me open it? There might be something in there. Oh my god. I didn't put anything in there, but maybe someone at the factory put something in there. There's nothing in here. You're being retarded. Guys, vote on all the problems or something. None of this matters. Who cares? Put something in there How much do you think that things got to be worth at least four or five probably is how much is a regular Funko Pop word Maybe I just want to go watch houses burn guys. Don't forget. I'll be streaming some video games tonight

Whatever come on over to the channel. We'll redirect you. Thanks to all our top supporters. Anything else I need to know about other than my crushing disappointment? At least I didn't have to watch you smash that fucking thing with that giant hammer, that's one reprieve. Do you wanna do the Pokemon cards next week? Oh no, we should do the Pokemon cards! People didn't pay enough money.

You can't wait a week. You're gonna wait a week? I don't care. I could wait forever. Can't you do half of it? Can we do one of them? No, you gotta do them all. Let me do one.

You have to do all of them. Why? You can't do one. Yeah, we can do one per show. Nah, cause then it's not gonna be fun the next time. One per show. Let me look at the paper. Take a year to...

Nah, nah, nah. You already know. You already looked. I didn't look. When are you gonna reveal what gender your cow baby is? I don't know. You already know. You already looked. I didn't look. When are you going to reveal what gender your cow baby is? I don't know. That's another exciting reveal? Another exciting reveal.

I guarantee if we don't do it on this show, we're never going to remember to do it. We always say we're going to do a bit later, and then we don't do the bit. Why don't you just do the bit? People should have paid for it then. They forgot. You forgot.

Nobody wanted to pay for it. No, you didn't say they had to pay for it it was implied tell us what grade you got okay if you don't tell us what Gary got you got to tell people we're gonna do it on the next show so we actually do it mmm if they give enough money else I'll know if it's enough hold on I have a number in my head. Let me see. How much have we already got? I guess it doesn't tell me. Wait, what was that guy saying about Trailer Park Boys?

A lot of people say a lot of stuff about Trailer Park Boys. The Trailer Park Boys D&D idea was posted on Reddit seven years ago. Oh, I guess we shouldn't do it then. Did they do it? I don't know. Maybe somebody made rules for it.

Really? What is this saying? Maybe there's rules for it Really What is this saying there's rules out there, uh Okay, that's a cool Funko pop they're saying oh yeah, it says I'm gonna cancel my patreon over not doing the card grading reveal What's the patreon? What's the patreon on now? I don't know if Patrons over 10,000 again because I juice the numbers to my six dollars sneaking Okay, okay, do the reveal. Let's just see one of them, it'll be fun.

Now do all of them. Yeah, let's do all of them. Alright, am I doing it? No, do it next week. Do it next week. Shut the fuck up. Do it next week, I already killed the stream. Do it next week, Vito, do it next week.

You have to build up some suspense for this. I'm gonna read one. No, don't, if you read one, I'm gonna read all of them on my own. I'm gonna read one. Nah, no, no. That's dumb. Well, then should I not look at it? I already told you what you should do.

Do it next week. You are just impatient. Yeah, I want to know. So put that inside. Oh my god. Fine. This is his fault. I try to do bits on the show. Dick always.

It's not a bit to just reveal it for nothing. You got to hype it. Oh, I'm sorry. You paid $65 for fog and you're plugging the machine. Oh, jeez. Oh, I got to get more money. And then I did. Oh.

Such an idiot. All right. You know what my favorite part of American Idol is when they go, and at the end of the show, we're going gonna tell you one, and they go, you know what, fuck you. No, they don't, they tell you next week. That isn't what they do. Sometimes they tell you.

Yeah, they tell you next week. Yeah, and then next week you come in and they actually do it. No, and then they do more messing around! Whoa! Next week we'll do the Pokemon Card reviews. I will release those New Year's Eve pictures at the hootenanny You should know does one push up one push up a real push up Tits on the ground and then all the way up. Yeah

Boom pictures really got a good bit there pictures released with timestamp New Year's Eve. I Just want to see how fat null is. I would love to see a picture how fucking fat guys can do push-ups It's true Okay. Well, maybe next week if we get a little more money. Like, PSA 6? I didn't read it. I didn't see it. It better not be a PSA 6. It's probably a 6. It would be funny if I know I should take this.

Nah, I can read you like a book though. No, you can't. You didn't even believe that. I'm just reading the notes here. Oh my God, it costs a lot to get shit graded. Jesus Christ. That's a good sign. That means they were worth a lot. They charge you based on the value, yes?

Yeah. Yeah. Do you know how much you got charged? No. I do. Is it a lot? Do you want to know the number of how much they charge you for your grading? No, it's too close. Or is that too much away? No, I'll know. I'll be able to figure it out. Ten million dollars! Okay, goodbye everyone. Dick's spiking the bid again. It would probably be boring to read this, right? That's the problem? No, it's just people don't want it enough. Look, everyone type. It would probably be boring.

If you don't want, if you want us to open it next week, press 1. And if you want us to open it now, type the first line of the Constitution. The first four lines of the Constitution. Next week, everybody. This is his fault. Why do you guys reward this pirate in his stupid bit, giving him money to dress up like a pirate, and he just fucks you every time? I got everyone this time!

Hey, wait! One other thing. Did you, what about the Imam? Was that a thing, or are we saving that too? Well, I gotta do it next week now, because there was no call to prayer! Next week, a very special Pokemon-based episode all starts, Pokemon, next week! They're saying one, they're saying one next week.

Next week. Next week. All right, goodbye. Next next week all the Pokemans Come on by the stream. Bye. Bye Wait, how do you redirect it and it should dump it cuz I already set it up. Oh, so hit end stream Wait wait wait we're still talking think