The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 180

Episode Date: March 8, 2025

They made a Half-Life game where you're the girl. They should do the Try Not To Come Challenge in VR. I think we, uh, the timer ran out. Did? You're right. There. As I was saying, is that working? I think so.

As I was saying, yeah, that works. The Try Not To Come Challenge. For VR? Like a real one. Like if it happens, there's a penalty? Like you get spooked? I Like if it happens there's a penalty? Like you get spooked? I don't know if there's a penalty. Like a ghost pops out of the wall, you go, ahhhh!

That'd be fun. That could be part of it, yeah. You could get power ups to show you like, scary stuff. The longer you go without jacking it. Well you're hooked up in the game. Yeah. With the VR. How about like a VR game where like, you know, there's all these like hot chicks who like keep grabbing your dick and you gotta like knock them away.

You know? Gotta protect your dog. That's always fun in like VR games, like moving your hands. Yeah, like that. That's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that would be better.

And then you could still look, because sex positive games are weird and gross. But if they make it so you gotta fend them off. Yeah. And there could be a little attachment, like a vibrator that goes around your dick, so if they start touching your dick, it starts vibrating. You're like, ah, ah, you're gonna make me cum,

and they're gonna knock her away, you know? Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, harder. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the women keep getting like bigger, bigger like tits, you know, or like jamming them in your face. And they get younger and younger. And they keep going, ah, ah, ah. And they keep just crying and grabbing your dick. Who's giving, like, why isn't this a... It could be with the autoblow. All their mouths could be open.

They keep trying to like jump, you know, wrap their mouth around your dick. And the second they get on there, one of these ghost women, the autoblow activates and starts jerking you off you're gonna be like no get this ghost off of me! We easily have the technology to make this but we just choose to do gay space shit with you. And you look at the leaderboards and it's like 15 seconds, 17 seconds. Once the ghost got its mouth on my dick I couldn't resist. saying it The ad the ad is a hit. Yeah, the try not to come try it's a hit

Everybody knows it everybody loves it, but we all know the game is not gonna be is not gonna live up to the ad Right, you know and not even close. We gotta have it's like oh try not to come but I'm beating myself You want me to come? Yeah, you want me to come? You want me to pay for this obviously, but if the game is try not to come try not to come. But I'm beating myself off. You want me to come. Yeah, you want me to come. You want me to pay for this, obviously. But if the game is try not to come. Try not to come or. That's a trillion dollar idea. That's a trillion dollar idea.

There should be more gamification of the genitals in various ways. There's a lot of space that's going untapped. You are right that we have all this technology. We kind of just keep making the same shit over and over again Yeah, that's just army stuff army ads. Yeah. Yeah, we remake Final Fantasy and we just play Final Fantasy again It's less erotic and how come you know there's not ever been yeah How come there's not a Hideo Kojima to go see and if the ghost puts its finger up your butthole

That makes your stamina meter go up, but it makes your Your health points go down. So you have to balance that out with the good ghosts and the bad ghosts. I just can't think about anything other than this Eric Shalai video. I know. It's a big drop.

This is like, this is like Kendrick Lamar dropping the latest track against Drake, you know? This would be like Drake dropping a diss track right before the Super Bowl. Right. Right. Here you go. Respond to this.

Like, okay, I'm just about to go on the Super Bowl. There is a new Eric July, I believe it is 26 minute doc- self-funded documentary. Which, and this is part one. 29 Vito. 26 minute doc- self-funded documentary AHAHAHAHAHA Which- and this is part 1 29 Vito 29? Oh man I have a I don't know if you know this I have some experience with Are we gonna get our own segment?

Beyond the Narrative From the Rip-a-verse Beyond the Narrative is that what it's called? It's called Beyond the Narrative that's what I'm reading They lied about the entire thing And the idea is that what it's called? It's called Beyond the Narrative, that's what I'm reading. They lied about the entire thing. And the idea is of course that... Beyond the narrative. Eric July is a man, he's a strong, proud African American entrepreneur.

Black face. Black, yeah well, and a bunch of evil people came along. One in particular, a tiny little imp was dancing around, marching up hills. I can't think about anything else. I had a bunch of stuff. I mean, I was looking forward to all the mean comments for me, but then this dropped and I'm like, I don't really care about that stuff anymore. I mean, that's all we got.

Well, I think you've set up a challenge for the audience. Is that correct? Yeah, do you guys want us to watch it? You got to hit, we need, I set the goal here. 50 Super Chats? We need 5,000 Super Chats in the first 30 minutes or else. We're not going to watch it. Stop putting N words in the.

Sam Kenison, go back to bed. Stop putting n-words in the Sam Kennison. Just go back to bed Yeah putting n-words in there. I guess the audience is busy making n-words in the chat. We are live, right? I don't know. I think so. I mean, I feel like none of them are reacting to what we're saying Yeah, yeah, yeah, just making n-word towers. Okay We love our audience Yeah, let's do this show and we'll see if we watch a video later. Ahhhhhhh. Biggest problem in the universe.

Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe. The only show that ranks every problem from superheroes pinching their dimes to investing at the worst of times. That's pretty good. Oh man, I don't even want to think about investing. I'm your host, Nick Manchin, join me in joining me to get a G-Flozzy. How's that crypto reserve going? Actually the best it could have gone.

Yeah? I was like, please don't buy any. Please just, please just let this be the stuff you guys stole. Right. From... Oh, you didn't want Trump buying Bitcoin with US dollars? No, I want him buying Bitcoin. I don't want him buying Cardano.

I could see him buying fucking Trump coin or whatever, being like, you know, we're going to have a reserve. It's a very important meme for us to have. That'd be nice. That would be nice. If we went back to Bitcoin, reserve instead of gold. I'd be fine with it. I'd fuck the country.

At this point, anything that makes the country profitable again, because Jesus Christ, the market is a nightmare. Um, okay, what did we have last week? Last week we had a fight. I honestly can't think of anything else. I haven't looked at the comments because I want to be surprised. Everybody loved it. Everybody said, another classic episode.

And I think the I think the running theme was, they said the camaraderie between the hosts is what I keep coming back for. I think they said this is just one of those. Johnny said, Mommy and Daddy fighting, and I wanted to strangle him on my show. He said it? He said that? Yeah, I got a text that said,

Mommy and Daddy, you're fighting. And I'm like, you know, you're you're telling the story like someone said it? He said that? Yeah, I got a text that said, Mommy and Daddy are fighting and I'm like, You know, you're selling the story like someone said it to you, but you're saying it right now. Yeah. I said just one of those classic comedy dynamics where the respect for each other, the mutual respect really shines through, was I think the running theme. I'm very hindered by not being able to say the F slur. I understand. So you gotta get more creative and then you know, otherwise you able to say the F-slur. I understand. You know?

So you gotta get more creative and then, you know, otherwise you can just call me an F-slur. No, and fans. And fans. I'm gonna need to be doing that in a minute. I think people don't understand the, uh, the handicap we have being on the YouTube platform. Bad investments, number one. Hey! Well that one fucking came true, Jesus fucking Christ.

In gratitude. Oh yeah. 50, what was that about?. Jesus fucking Christ. In gratitude. 50. What was that about? Oh, Zelensky. Zelensky. I saw people mad at me. They're like, Vito, you gotta, you didn't even listen to the whole thing. I'm like, well, I don't need to listen to the whole thing. All you had to do was go, Trump, you're the man. Thanks for giving us a billion dollars. Take our rocks and our minerals. Fair trade.

Guys, it really wrapped up in... The Zelinsky thing? Yeah. How can... I see them like having arguments with themselves like, well, okay, so how can Maga say that this about Russia and this about Russia? I'm like, guys, we just don't want to pay any money. Yeah, that's it. I mean like that's the only thing.'s not about like yeah, you don't think Russia's the best place No, yeah, okay, like everybody's like a dick such a Putin simp. They're all sucking Putin's dick It's like I just don't want to pay for this. Yeah, cuz he's hasn't like asking for money So right just whatever he wants to do that. I

Think that's a fair opinion. Uh Shrinking jaws number two. I thought that should have won because I find that fascinating a fair opinion. Uh, uh, shrinking jaws, number two. I thought that should have won, because I find that fascinating. I never heard of that as a problem. Me too, it's going to get worse. Yeah. Tiny ear and tiny ear. Everyone's going to look like Andrew Tate.

Oh my God, did you see that? Him, uh, freaking out about getting charged in Florida? Yeah, and then the, uh, district attorney's, uh, Os guy started following me on Twitter. Oh, I said, Hey, subpoena me for that. Well, yeah, because you talk to him. So, I mean, they could potentially have you come in and be like, here's what he said on my show. Then he left though.

Oh, I think they could get him. Florida's got a lot of reach. And then poor superheroes, which is a good one too. That was a good one. I guess bad investments are pretty bad. They're still doing it. I watched the most recent Invincible episode and they did it again with some other characters. It's just hard to... They like the whole season... have you been watching the new season of Invincible? Yeah, and it's just like when's Omni-Man getting back? Come on, man. The writing's really weird and then they showed that gay couple that's like,

oh well I guess we gotta work at a diner to make ends meet and I'm like, you can shoot energy bolts and he's like got powers too, like why does he have to be so gay? That gay guy. I don't know man. God. Cause it was probably written right before Trump got elected and before we got rid of all the gay stuff. Is he that gay in the comics? Which guy?

The gay, his friend. William? Yeah. And before we got her all the gay stuff is he that gay in the comics which guy the gay? his friend William yeah, I think he is that gay in the comics yeah, uh Okay, wild oh wait, and then oh yeah poor superheroes, okay, so I have one. I'm the I've left these as a surprise for me Have you actually I have actually not read these Maybe 300 just don't read them. Maybe it's not important to read them. Everybody likes when their when their comments get read. Everyone had a great time. Dick produced a hundred and seventy eight episodes. This is H Attila about the extremely personal evisceration of every aspect of Vito's existence.

Then when Vito offers the slightest pushback, things almost get physical. Almost get physical? Yeah, you definitely were gonna take a swing at me. I really had to shield myself. See what I mean about the gay stuff? What are you talking about? Almost get physical.

Cause you made it personal. Shouldn't be this entertaining, but it's riveting television. It's riveting television. There you go. I think that too. I'm embarrassed, but I do think that. Ah, here's- HAHAHAHAHAHA

Here's the thing is- That's the danger. I think- I think it doesn't- Heh. Like, I know, you know, I'm like, ah, dick's being a little... ...contancorous, you know? Uh-huh. And I think the audience doesn't know that like,

ah, you know, I'm of in on it a little bit I know you're in on it. You're laughing your ass off. Yeah, I was laughing I know exactly what you're doing But the only about your job that's well, that's not what I was that's not what I was doing, but I don't know Anyway, what else like dick is trying to get veto to quit before the baby comes Why would that would be the last thing I would I know. Anyway, what else is there? It feels like Dick is trying to get Vito to quit before the baby comes. Why would I, that would be the last thing I would want. I know, right? This is the baby money right here.

I have, Vito has more leverage than me. I can't afford this fucker. Dick's saying that Vito gets personal is a huge projection. Vito is the best part of this show now. What, oh boy, we're down to real name stuff. You build your period out every week. Wow, every week must be draining. What the hell's happening to Dick?

He's coming undone. This ending was weirdly emotional. Yeah. Daniel Lane, don't tell us how we're gonna feel when we don't get Superkiller. We're gonna be feeling very good, very strong. You know what you are gonna get, the Superkiller. This, it's really, I hate to keep saying it,

but I'm looking it over and I'm like, all right, I think we're there. So, I don't know what to say. I'm just looking, I thought it was like complete disaster and then I'm looking at it and I'm like, nah, this looks good now. Yeah, I've made the fixes I want. I think the paper towel thing broke something in Dickie.

He hasn't been the same since yeah, I don't I don't understand you people at all now. I Really don't I think just uh, you know people come here and they they want us to know that we are very good friends Side Chris just when vetoeto Wars were over, we get back in the trenches. There's no more Veto Wars, everything's fine, we're all fine here. Last bullets, Dick got butt hurt over,

everyone called him spoiled, ivory-towered, Richie Rich over the napkins bit. Now he flips out at the slightest mention of anything personal because he is terrified that we will find out his house, his parents bought him in Arizona Oh, yeah, no that house my parents bought me thing. I don't even know what I have no idea when any of this is uh People were getting very personal it was not

We don't want to get personal on the show dick's assuming too much malice and evil with Vito I do think though. I do think you assume a lot of like ill and I don't know ill intent Sometimes I just say shit carelessly and you're like, no, I think that you think I say it carelessly. Yeah, okay Yeah, that's fine. And then you have to defend it. Yeah, that's okay Why does dick I think you understand that but then you really want to like be like, oh no You did that on purpose cuz you you know it makes me squirm. Yeah. I'm not trying to fuck up any of it's like with the EVS thing where I'm like I probably

shouldn't say whatever. Fucking comic. But I was excited. I don't know I can't tell really now that you've compared to that I can't I don't know which one it is. Do you think I okay but like what I I don't tell really now that you've compared to that. I can't I don't know. Do you think I okay? But you like what I I don't know man people think here's the thing people think I'm like people go back and forth between Vito's the dumbest idiot in the world and Vito is a secret like master manipulator who

Obfuscates and manipulates. Yeah, they do do that. Yeah, it's hard to tell with you Well, I don't think I'm that smart. So I mean- Yeah, because you're pretty smart usually. I'm smart at some stuff, but I'm like very clearly not good at a, you know, like sometimes I'll say shit and I go, I probably shouldn't have said that, you know? I try not to bring up personal stuff. Yeah, yeah. But what is the gain for- but the other thing is there's no gain from- like I'm not trying to sabotage anyone really. Because there's no gain- I want everyone to make a million and the words of the great Nick Cricata, everyone should make a million dollars. See Nick was saying that maliciously. Yeah, I know so that's why I get a bad example.

There's no more fans that Vito should know to play dead when Dick kicks him. We all love it though when Vito doesn't play dead, as it leads to an additional hour after that. See, some people like it. Some people are just, uh... Everybody likes it. Don't let them fool you. Everyone likes it. It's humili- it's embarrassing for me. Well, I don't- And it's painful for you. Everyone likes to see that. What was I- Looking you guys for marriage counseling.

Tang tang. The only time you have to worry about me manipulating you is if you have video games or magic cards that I want to obtain. I know, you already have done that. Yeah, and I've already tried to get your video games and you won't sell them to me, so. I gave them all to you! No, I did get your Wii U, that's true.

But every once in a while I'll go like, hey, Dick, you ever find that TurboGrafx kicking around? I'm sure you would love that TurboGrafx. No, remind me to look for that. Lieutenant Surge, my garbage is my property, my information. I've only played a TurboGrafx once in my life, and it was on a game store. They're not that good. Some of the games are supposed to be good, but.

You can really feel it. You can really feel that it's old. Really? Interesting. And not in a good way. Like, they didn't have anybody around them helping them make games Vito down this is not only that's current. I don't you must have played the wrong game people love the PC engine I had tons of them and they don't they feel like

This is like an alternate timeline. Well, cuz you know in Japan. It looks like completely different, right? No, it's called the PC engine. It was way more popular than it was here And it had a bunch of good games. Where you could take them in and rare veto win. Dan Danston says. For fuck's sake get along or end the show. Our Tom said. I watched this to laugh. I watched this to laugh.

Well, we want people laughing of course. So I think Well, we want people laughing, of course. So... I think, uh... You know, look, maybe when we get into one of these arguments... Also, I kind of maybe push it too. I know that you push it. Because I circle back to it, and I shouldn't. Because we'll be reading the super chats, and I'll be like, you know,

and a dick might have a problem, you know, and then we get back into it Who gives a fuck? All that matters is that the show is on. That's it. And that's something else happens Yeah, like Eric happening. That's true. We have a distraction now so we can Let's talk about my bathroom and my slobberly lifestyle. I don't want to talk about it anymore. I don't want to talk about it anymore I don't want to come organize my house. He's like a fan of the show. So maybe we'll do that. Ariel. Yeah, but where does she live? She's gonna like fly in? She's gonna do it.

She just wants to see it. Well, I don't want her to just see it. She'd have to organize it. Clean it. Yeah, but right now it's not positive. There's just stuff that there's nowhere to put anything. I don't want to get sucked down into this I don't care It's all coming together Washing your hands of it do whatever you want over there

What's that app where I can hire a handyman to put a door on the bathroom Task rabbit is that it yeah, I was thinking about just like hiring a guy to just do some stuff I can hire a handyman to put a door on the bathroom. Uh, Task Rabbit? Is that it? Yeah. I was thinking about just like hiring a guy to just do some stuff. You should hire a guy to, yeah, come in there and just live there for a week and see what happens.

See what happens. Yeah. That's a different app, that's called Grindr. I like that app too. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I like that app too. Hahahaha They should combine the two. A gay guy who builds shit for you? Grind rabbit. Hahahaha

They should. Yeah. I'll put up a door for you. Eww. I've tried Mexican rabbit. And they're not...I get doors that are mismatched. What if you need a guy to build like a sex swing? You don't want like a regular guy to do that?

I can build a deck that I have to fix. Yeah, you want a gay guy to build your sex swing and you're... I don't want sex swings. You don't want a sex swing? I want like a child swing, not a sex swing. Well, I mean, you obviously want a child swing now. I don't want it doubling as a sex swing. Well, now that you have a child,

you can't have all that stuff. What I'm saying, there's probably a time where if somebody had offered you... You took a free sex doll. No, I don't like all that, but that I'm saying, there's probably a time where if somebody offered you. You took a free sex doll. No, I don't like all that. But that was just like as a joke. Yeah. I've never understood all the elaborate, like, sex.

Accoutrements. Yeah, like sex gymnastics. Yeah. I've seen it. Well, sex is already. I've done it. To me, sex is already like, I mean, I'm a fat guy. So sex is already exhausting.

The idea of adding more physicality to it I'm like I just kind of want to it's too distracting I kind of just lie down and have a girl jump up and down on me. You know That feels good. Yeah Maybe maybe get behind a little bit of thrusting but I don't want to like a swing and a bunch of levers and It's too much. I don't know why they do Okay, do you have a do you ever voted up? No and a bunch of leavers and... It's too much. I don't know why they do. Um, okay. Do you have a- Do you have a voted up this week?

No! This week I'm uh... phoned in- No, well I just uh... You have a problem then, don't you? Oh am I- Did I win? Yeah! Oh okay, cool. Alright guys, we're gonna do problems.

It's probably good that we're not doing a voted up because I'm sure people are super chatting right now. We have to watch this fucking thing. Only have 29 super 29 Let's go five thousand super chats Let's go we're gonna get them in we're gonna have a good time part one man Part one well, that's what I'm like worried about man as I'm like oh man I'm not gonna get a whole documentary chapter for fucking Eric July complaining about me again like how many fucking chapters

Is he gonna be sucks at it? He's gonna make one about Ethan like that's that's gotta be his next one right I Don't know How can he make all these movies without saying he makes these documentaries like he makes his comic books like he can't say our names He can't say what happened well he could say our names, but they'd have to be like Draxblong and Glingar. Buster. Yeah, yeah. No, no, no. They'd have to be like Altona. Messed up. Black. Well, not even black. It's like his insane alternate reality version of black.

I hope that gets explained in the Great War of Separation, why Texas decided to name other people things that are retarded. Uh... I think I can't wait to watch this shit that's all I wanna do that's all I wanna do well let's do some fun problems problems first and then we'll see if I mean we haven't gotten enough superchats

I don't think it's gonna happen alright dig here's my problem we all have to wash our clothes some of us more frequently than others, as you've asserted. I think I'm already doing it, huh? I'm already setting you up to it. Anyway, Dick, here's the real problem though. Alright, you wash, you get back your clothes after you wash them, you're all excited.

You've got fresh clothes. These are them, you're all excited. You got fresh clothes. Yeah. These are great. They're all clean and nice. Let me put on these pants. I love wearing pants. One of my favorite things. I put on the pants. I go, ah, let me try out these pockets.

And I go, what the fuck? Yeah. There's something in here. And then you realize I left some shit in my pockets. Key fobs. Key fobs. Oh, god. Yeah, we're more now dude, uh, I

Think one of the big ones for me when I was a kid I was so excited cuz I got a Luke Skywalker Star Wars card and I brought it school and like look guys I pulled the Luke Skywalker and they're like, that's awesome, man. Yeah, that's so cool. You got a rigid Luke Skywalker And I'm like a week later I'm like devastated as I'm pulling this crumpled Luke out of my pocket I go, you know, you finally once you had one good thing going you had one good thing going Yeah, and you dumb fuck you couldn't remember to take it out of your fucking pockets. I left a I left my watch And I left my Omega watch my the Speedmaster

Yeah in my nicest like I had one nice hoodie pull over that zipped up the front Yeah, it was like a nice material a fit that I always wore everywhere. I left the Omega in the pocket and put it through the wash and it destroyed it tore out of the pocket. It tore through the pocket. So the sweatshirt- Is an Omega a digital watch or a- No it's a-

It's a regular watch. It's a regular watch. And the watch was smashed into a million pieces. It's all the glass because I'm going to say it's like glass and everything. The glass survived but the buttons were all smashed in and destroyed. It costs almost as much as a new watch to get it fixed. Oh you actually got were able to get it fixed? I was surprised. Well yeah they took they put all the pieces back together. Yeah. I don't know how many of them were new. But it's all like chunked up. It's all uh. So I lost both of them.

Yeah. Well it's just. So now I'm angry... So I lost both of them. Yeah. Well, it's just... So now I'm angry at the watch. Every time I put it on. Yeah, well that's my thing is, uh, getting angry at inanimate objects, like it's their fault. Yeah. Like, why didn't you tell me you were in the pocket, god damn it.

This could have been avoided in some way. It's always, and it's always the worst is when it's like something that you were looking for for a while. You know, like one time I was trying to find like some, like I think it was like a parking ticket or whatever. And I'm like, God damn it, how am I going to pay that fucking parking ticket? And then by the time I found it, I'm like, fuck. And now it's expired. So I owe more fucking money and I can't read it.

And I had a fucking, I'm dealing with, man, actually, I'm having a parking ticket situation right now. What the fuck is with tickets in this state? What are you doing? Were you parking? No actually I'm having a parking ticket situation right now. What the fuck is with tickets in this, uh, state? What are you doing? Were you parking? No, it wasn't a parking ticket. It was a, I got a, I blew through a stop sign. Did I mention this? No. When? Yeah, no, I did. I mentioned this on the show when I said, like, uh, cops not buying their own business. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then I went, they go, okay, well you gotta go to the courthouse to give him proof of insurance, right? Yeah, so I go all the way to the courthouse and they won't sign it. They go. Well, no he goes Oh your tickets not in the system and I go, okay Well, can you give me something that says I came here to do my ticket and he goes no You have to wait and I'm like the ticket expires in like a week He's like well Maybe they won't send it in and then literally the day before it expires They send me a fucking letter because we've extended your ticket two months. I'm like oh, thanks

You know thanks for sending me this after not registering it, and I already went all the way to the fucking courthouse Thankfully, I didn't lose that in the wash Anyway, that's my problem that I thought I would be able to elaborate on and I realize now What else have you lost in the wash? It's a dead end. The watch was the watch was my worst and I realize now What else have you lost in the wash? It's a dead end The watch was the- the watch was my worst Do phones still go- do they survive in the wash anymore? Well luckily I've never put a phone through the wash but no I can't imagine it would survive

Pagers used to get- I went through a lot of pagers I remember my dad losing some pagers You had a pager? Oh yeah Oh shit man How long did you have a pager for? Till they ran out, till it was like phone time You're not that much older than me and you have a pager for till they ran out till it was like phone time? You're not that much older than me and you had a pager

There was a there was a there was a time there was an amount of time where every teenager had a pager really It was awesome. That was the peak of technology When you had when you could get paid with some code shit, you know When you could get paged with some code shit, you know, 143. I mean, my dad had a pager. I would always tell my dad to pick me up, send him a page or whatever. But I don't remember paging another kid. How old were you? Because we were like, yeah, we had cars by then and jobs.

So did you guys have codes to like, yeah, you are gay, stuff like that. Pager Man! Alright! Wow! I wish I could have that back, actually. It does feel, you know, it is one of those stupid things where they go, you know, I think we were actually more connected before technology. We were definitely more connected.

Yeah, because you had to actually like talk to people in like a real way. And then the two-way pagers came on and you're like, oh, that's it. I don't want that shit. You could feel it right away, ah, that's it. I don't want that shit. You could feel it right away like, nah, I don't want that. I'd like to get notified if someone's thinking about me. I don't want to have to reciprocate. It was fun, all the workarounds we had to find to communicate

like using, what was it, Star 16? What was the one where you could send a collect call to somebody but would just be mom, pick me up at the mall? I had a baby eats a boy. Yeah Yeah, good one pay phones They still got one. There's like a famous one in LA somewhere like up on the mountain or something Oh really? Yeah, it's like the last pay phone just for fun. It still works apparently Fascinating okay, that's my problem put stuff through the wash

Nailed it. Uh, my problem is cynicism. Cynicism? Look at this. I'm gonna show you this, uh, I'm gonna show you this picture. And you tell me what feeling it evokes in you. Alright. Uh, brain cancer kid.

Secret service. Mm-hmm. Does he actually have brain cancer? Oh, he, brain cancer kid... Secret Service. Mm-hmm. Does he actually have brain cancer? Oh, he had brain cancer. Have you listened to him talk? Here he is. Yeah. Look at this poor bastard. Oh, wow.

Look at this. I can't believe it. What about this? Trump makes 13-year-old cancer survivors. Oh, I thought they were gonna say they make him give a speech or something. Like, he was forcing him to do something. No, he's doing interviews. Yeah, I saw. were going to say they make him give a speech or something, like he was forcing him to do something. No, he's doing interviews. Yeah, I saw he's a charismatic young individual.

He says that he's telling his girlfriend to hit the bricks when he gets home. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because now he's a Secret Service agent, he can get anyone he wants. Yeah, and he's going to be on your bumper, abusing his power. And cynicism would be to say, this is stupid. You know, this is great, right? This poor kid. He's an asshole. He's got brain-

He's got a number of brain cancers. You're right. Okay, so- And look at this! Yeah. What you see here... Is a Black dad. Yeah.

Okay. Who gave him the strength. So like- To fight his cancer. Okay. And he's on- Trump's honoring this brave Young cancer man. Why is he doing that? Cuz he hates cancer. He hates cancer that much cuz he's the testament by the American a lot

Yeah, I'm gibberish like I'm gonna cure cancer. That's stupid Trump's like I'm gonna give this kid a you fought cancer yourself. I'm gonna make you you Trump said you can't Well first of all ACA be all cops are bad, so we that's why one reason that my liberal service that was not a cop That's true. It's a worst cop They can't do anything right and then Trump says here He is this little fucking weirdo and at first you're at home, and you're thinking it's like a little man Like why is this little weird-shaped man? getting an award and Then that other man. I'm still thinking that, yeah. I want to know why. The guy picks him up and you're like oh maybe it's that guy's son or that guy's

just holding up a tiny man. Right. No it's a little boy. So this was during the State of the Union right? Yeah. So this is where the president tells us what's going on in America his plan for the country? Yeah, yeah, you know what our reminds us of our values. You know is that what that is? This is reminding us of our values. Yeah, if some little if some little if there's a kid cancer We can give my cancer. We're gonna make him secret service agent That's cool. Hey is the is the government gonna you know pay for his cancer care? No, no, no you guys gotta pay for that Still he's a hard-working kid

He didn't he's not asking for a can you get health insurance from the government for that? No, no, no Secret service. Yes, he can. Secret service. Yeah. He's got a job. He's got a job. Now he has a job Yes, he can. Secret Service, he's got a job. He's got a job. Now he has a job. So he can. I would just say look, I understand when the new Marvel movie comes out Chris Pratt goes to the hospital Dressed as fucking Star-Lord. Do you like that or not? Yeah, whatever. That's fine. Okay, cuz he's promoting a fucking Marvel. Chris Pratt, Christian Also conservative male. Have you seen he's been doing like like scripture commercials or something? Has he really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I saw clips of Chris Pratt. He's like, oh hi I was just reading my Bible if you'd like to read along with me. What? Yeah

From the Lego movie Well, he's not as Emmett. It's as Chris Pratt. Kids don't know that though. They think it's Emmett Whatever he's allowed to do. I mean, the reason I saw it was because somebody was saying, oh, I can't support Chris Pratt anymore. And I'm like, if he was any other religion, you wouldn't care. If he was like a Muslim guy, being like, they were going to read the Quran,

you'd be fine with it. It caused a big fight because some girl, we were out. And it's one of the women there who said, isn't that horrible how he left his wife because they have an autistic kid? Is that what? That's not what happened. And I said, that's not what happened at all.

And she goes, well, he could have. I said, that's not. No, I saw a tweet today that was like, can you believe he thanks his wife for giving him a healthy son, implying that his autistic son isn't healthy? And it's like, that's not what that means when you say, you know, she gave me a boy They hate him. You know who hates him cynics cynics hate in the glass holes

I look at something like well I'm glad that my son's healthy and think this motherfucker is saying that women are retarded and shouldn't be in politics There's an appropriate time for certain political gestures You know like this one like what given this little retardant kid understand what is the theme what is this pertain to hey I'm gonna get these retarded kids because he had brain cancer let's see the way he moves okay so then Trump gives him some dumb Secret Service thing and that's extra bad because Trump's cutting all the fucking

education department shit for retarded kids. What do they need education for? We can just do this. They know what their dicks they know where their dicks are. Here he is. No nonsense look at him. Yeah holding up gang is. That other man is holding him up. Hey! Sam Strong. Hey! That guy's wearing a do-rag to the... My stocks are down so fucking hard.

And I got to watch a bunch of Republicans clapping because a kid doesn't I glad and that's all you'll see and that's all you'll see because the other guys aren't they're sitting on their hands what's happening here the whole country is falling apart I don't need to see a fucking cancer kid get a badge I didn't get to see I didn't see the liberals fuck where are they where are they I know Democrats are being you know that they're not clapping though weirdos they have like little signs and they dress the same or something they're all sitting there okay being angry from the

state of the Union is like here's what I'm gonna do about inflation here's how I'm gonna bring rent prices down here's how I'm gonna deal with fucking the al Qaeda or whatever the fuck that little Black Cancer I don't want that's the last thing I'm worried about in America is showing more compassionate cancer kids if anything We've been showing too much compassionate cancer kids. All right, you got it. We've had Make-A-Wish forever, okay? All of our organization kind of said, I told the story about how Make-A-Wish fucked my buddy, right?

No, literally? All he wanted was a big screen TV, back when big screen TVs were like $2,000. Like the old three tube ones? Ah, like right when the first, like the first HDTVs were coming out and he was like a big gamer. Man, that was an annoying time when you had to be like, it's OLED or LCD or plasma?

LCD is actually bad. The plasma is good. Man, fuck off. So my buddy wanted a big TV and then his cancer went into remission. They said, well, your cancer's in remission, you don't get a TV. He's like, well, I feel like it was like, you know, we were in high school. He must have been like 15 or 16 or whatever. Okay. He goes, well, I know it's in remission, but like it could come back. And they're like, ah, it's not coming back. You don't get a TV.

And he fucking died. Of cancer? Yeah, and he didn't get a TV. And he died of an infection on the operating table. But that's the same as dying of cancer, right? On operating for cancer? Yeah. It came back that quickly? Whatever it was, they opened him back up. He got an infection.

He died. And I just remember thinking, you couldn't have just bought this kid a TV, man? All he wanted before he died was to play Final Fantasy on a real big TV. Which one? And fucking. Which Final Fantasy?

It probably would have been like 12. I don't know, 10, 12, whatever came. He probably wanted to play the MMO. 10 would have been a good one. Yeah, 10 would have been around that time. 10 would have been right around that time. Yeah. Yeah. And instead of the fucking Penny Pinch and Make-A-Wish

foundation, oh no, we really gotta give them to the sickest kids, you know. It's a TV, you got all this fucking money. One of them snagged that TV. I know, that's probably what happened. I remember him complaining about it. He goes, fucking Make-a-wish fucked me He's like, but at least I'm not gonna die and then he died

Did anyone write a letter to the- You wanna know why I am a scumbag though? You wanna know why I am a scumbag? Is because he was the only kid I knew who had a Sega Master System. Oh, you stole it No, no, no, but I just remember when he died. I'm like, I wonder what they're gonna do with that master system. I hope somebody gets that. You know, I think we should normalize that. If somebody dies being like, hey, I would like that thing of theirs. Yeah, my grandpa died and somebody got his guns.

They came in before he was dead. I'll just take these so nobody takes them. Yeah, well, when my dad died there was a mad grab for a variety of things. Including his ashes, which I for some reason don't have. Do you want those? I would like some, yeah, but apparently I can't have them. That's a long story. You gonna steal them?

Let's not talk about it on the show. I'm up for a. For a heist, a classic heist. This is a heist. If my father's ashes go missing, I have nothing to do with it. You just replace them. No, no, no, no, no. You replace them.

Actually, this is what we do. I always said I wanted the skull. See, that was the worst part of my father's death was that I didn't know they were going to cremate him. So I showed up to the funeral expecting a body and they're like, oh no, he's in the fucking vase. And I go, hold the, hold on and I go hold the hold on I Go you guys didn't hear the rules firstborn gets the skull and they're like, what are you talking about?

I got you don't cremate the whole body You cut off the head you give the skull to the firstborn you cremate the rest. Yeah, I didn't get my father's skull It's bullshit. I should have that hanging that I want a memento mori. I want to hang it over my mantle Hanging above my magic car. I'll put it right above the bathroom door to ward off the shit spirit Is the ashes out in front of the church like a body would be? No, it was inside the fucking funeral parlor. What was the service? You're saying where are the ashes now? No, I'm saying, well I do want to know that. Here's my plan.

I don't know where they are exactly. Here's my plan to steal the ashes. Yeah. You trick the person into thinking that you've swapped the ashes. Right. Right? So you get in there and you put- It's an Ocean's Eleven type situation.

Yeah, you scuff up the right there and you make a replica and Then they take the replica thinking they've stolen it back. Yeah, and then you have the real ashes You think that would work? I'm just gonna wait for that bitch to die And then I'm sure all the inherit the ashes at that point no somebody's gonna I can't imagine that happening I really hope they don't toss them. I can't imagine that happening. Anyway, I just wanted the skull. I didn't get the skull. It's the greatest tragedy of my young life. So this little, this little beautiful little man.

Right. Didn't get a TV, but he gets to be a police officer. He gets to be a secret service agent. Yeah. Democrats, not clapping for some reason. People online. This is bullshit. This is just a- Why don't you bring out like a juggler, you know? And then he could like- With brain cancer?

Yeah, sure. Juggle kids? He can still juggle. And then we could clap for that. Why don't you bring out like a horse that has cancer? You know, that's inspiring. What is this? It's just a fucking stupid, it's the stupidest, most transparent political stunt of going, Oh, you guys think I'm a bad guy? I just made a cancer kid a cop. So who's a bad guy now? Huh? Yeah. If Biden did this, you would be like, Oh, that's stupid. That's dumb. Because Biden would bring out like the fattest woman you've ever seen and feed her seconds. And pay for her sex change.

Yeah, it would be like, look at this kid, we're going to cut his dick off. And he'd be going like, ahhhh. And I'd say, how come you're not clapping? They want to get their dick cut off. No, he needs that dick. That's what they want. That's what they would have done. They probably would have.

They would have done that. Normally, like when they do this thing, it's like you bring out like a soldier who did something that's why this is so great That's what fucked him up. That's why Democrats are like oh, yeah, we don't clap at these. It's awesome It's like no, that's not a soldier. That's like a little black little kiss They tricked him because it's a little black kid That's why I really think that's the liberal way the liberal way would be to clap for a little black kid So they probably weren't a bit of a quandary there all right to clap for a little black kid so they probably were in a bit of a quandary there. Alright, that's good.

Not one of them clapped? It's a good goof. What the fuck? And none of the- like, no liberals are like, ah that was too far. We probably should have clapped for that guy. I can understand a polite clap. I can understand it- okay. Alright, alright.

Alright, alright. It's for the kid. It's for the kid. Everybody. The problem though is that, okay, I will say this is that like when Chris Pratt and goes visits a cancer kid I don't feel like this is for Chris Pratt. You know it's for the movie. I feel like maybe for the movie Yeah, sometimes sometimes it's not connected to the movie like when Jimmy Seville would do it Isn't Jimmy Seville the pedophile notorious pedophile yeah, he raped every kid yeah, that he ever saw it's really bad

I don't think that I think that was for him. Yeah, that raped every kid. Yeah, he ever saw it's really bad. I don't think that was for him Yeah, that was definitely for him. Yeah, watch it with the kids that are doing it too much though, you know, I Don't think that's a thing one or two. There's probably there might be one or two But I think you would get I don't think of these days you could get away with preying on cancer kids Back in the day. It was easier for a guy like Sabille. I don't know. The point is, look, I get, it's like what? Do you want to just loosen up? Just like say, hey that's nice that happened for that guy, that kid. But it would be, it's not coming from a point of like, and this is happening because of America and how great America is, it's coming

from, look at how great us Republicans are. Hey, you guys didn't bring a cancer kid up. Why didn't you? Why didn't you bring... Hey, I got my own, we have our own cancer kid over here. And then you can wheel him around. But why not? Why not?

I think that should be the thing. Next year, for the State of the Union, whoever's in power gets to bring out their cancer kid. And then they do the rebuttal State of the union. We got who gets a sicker kid Yeah, who's the he's got the sadder story of the best? That's a great idea That's that shows that you're thinking. Yeah, well, you may have saw President Trump made that a cancer kid a cop We made this one a general and we're sending him to an active war zone to lead our troops. Yeah, exactly.

That'd be better. That's way better than being a cop. He brought his dog back to life. Yeah, that would've been good. We cloned his dead sister. These are non-cynical solutions to these problems. But saying, you're just doing it for not good reasons like no no no no no problem as he started off The majority of the speech was out looking how much the Democrats suck you guys fucking

They won't even clap for this retarded kid. You guys are fucking stupid, and then he goes hey look at this cancer kid You're gonna clap for the cancer kid you retards You gotta clap you morons So he really kind of rope it up. He really put him between a rock in a hard place I tell you what dumb on four stairs. Yeah, I would say political stunts is more the The problem that's a problem that this kid got. Mmm. That's sad. Well, he gets to be a cop. That's true. Yeah I'm sure he's on your bumper. I'm sure he's very... It's gonna be on your bumper. I'm sure he's very happy.

Let's hope it's not one of those things where... I hate how often it's like, a kid gets an inspirational moment, and then like five years later, I gotta see his mugshot and who he killed, and you go, god damn it, man. Well, he's pretty messed up. Yeah.

I think that one's probably not gonna do a mass shooting. There was that one in Britain. He might, but... Yeah. What was that kid's probably not gonna do a mass shooting. There's that one in Britain. Might, but... Yeah. What was that kid recently though who he like, I think he did like a school shooting in like Britain or something or like a stabbing and they like had like a video of him on the BBC and he's like, I just love being in Britain and it's so great and I love learning and they're like, oh man, like these kids start off great. It's a problem in like, I think it's more of a problem in Britain though where these kids, or great. It's a problem in like I think it's more of a problem in Britain though Are these kids or maybe it's just a problem in the Islamist community where these kids are just nice normal kids something?

Radicalizes something radicalizes them yeah, they watch it. I don't how why is so easy to radicalize these kids They just send them videos and they're like hey, you know Islam's the best we're gonna cuz their dads are fucking assholes Yeah, their dads are in their face all day Yelling at them yelling at their mom. Yeah raping this is they're doing it. They're just really bad dads Then that's what happened. I think I'm pissed. Yeah, it's fascinating that you're like a lot of them He seemed like a very normal kid and then you know Oh, well now I gotta go kill a bunch of people for jihad or whatever Yeah, or don't go play soccer or what do you

just relax as you would call it yeah just hang out yeah there needs to be a I think we're gonna stop Islamic extremism we just need to like show them like hey man you can just like jerk off and like mm-hmm you guys should drink I know you're not supposed to but just like try it chill out I gotta go fuck himself try that yeah send a round of squad of guys to back you up. What is like? They're like main. They're just angry, huh? Yeah, cuz they get the shit kicked out of them. Yeah by men and weird shit The worst problem is that We go to these guys is my problem radical Islam now?

We go to these guys. We're like, hey welcome to our like, you know country We kind of got stuff figured out. Yeah, you know white guys figured a lot of stuff out, but we're not saying we're the best guys Try Jesus out. Yeah, hey do what you're doing. Yeah, we got this whole society and like some rules. They're pretty reasonable rules I go out we want to be able to like cut women's heads off. Well, you can't do that. Oh. We tried doing that. Yeah, it didn't work out very well.

It didn't work out. We were drowning them, throwing them rocks, whatever. It sounds like a good idea, but. And it was fun. It gets out of control. It gets out of control. Because you know how they lie and they start doing the shit.

They have more time. And there's always one guy who likes throwing the rocks a little too hard and you go, Mark, she's not even the one we're supposed to be stoning today. And he goes, I just love throwing rocks at women. Yeah. It becomes a big problem. It really does suck that we've set up these like awesome, like not, you know, we got problems but it's like, hey, we got a pretty good society going here.

We did. Yeah. We did in the 90s, we got a pretty good society going here. We did. Yeah. We did in the 90s, in the 80s and the 90s. Yeah. Before... It's still a lot better than a lot of other places. You think they could save Europe? You think Europe could be salvaged?

The way Europe, the videos I'm seeing where old guys are getting arrested for posting memes on Facebook I'm going... And just the demographics of it, of Europe. Well that it's like being taken over by various groups or whatever. Yeah I haven't seen the numbers But again, I do think that Well, it's complicated, let's put it that way I just don't understand how you can't just go to the people and go, look at how good you have it here. Why are you mad?

Well, that's what they thought they could do. That's what they thought they could do. They thought they could do that. Let's let millions of these guys in and say, hey, look how great we have it. Just do this. And they would do it. Like, they would hit us over the head with that every day in the 80s and 90s. And it just didn't work.

Well, the actual problem is that you can't... And maybe this sounds insensitive, but it's like you do have to separate these people from their ideology. Their dads. Their dads? You gotta kill the dads and bring the kids over. The dads' crazy religious ideas that came over. Yeah. Like you gotta stop going... I killed the dads and bring the kids over. The dads crazy religious ideas that came over. Yeah.

Like you gotta stop going and you know diversity of thought is our strength. All these great religions or whatever you can go, a lot of these religions are not great. Some of them are fucking nuts. Crazy. And we should treat them the way we treat like a cult. And be like that's nuts, don't believe that and you'll be way happier. Yeah. But you believe some crazy shit that is making you mad

Crazy shit is that your problem. Do you have another problem? I have another problem. Okay, what's my problem dick is The other day I'm printing printing some papers out Okay, very excited to be printing and my printer keeps going out. You're low on ink and And my printer keeps going, you're low on ink. And the worst part is, I can't even trust the fucking printer. Because the whole printer ink scam, I kept printing for like another 50 pages. Every time it's like, bro, I'm not gonna be able to print it, you gotta. That's it, that's the last one and then you're cut off. And you're cut off.

I'm like, I'm not fucking wasting even one drop of ink. I don't care. I don't care if I need to like put this on the paper and like smear it to see what the letters were. I'm not getting ripped off on the ink. They're fucking around. No way. I'm like, what do you mean?

There's no way. I'm not spending 60 bucks this morning. Right. Dude, so printer ink is the problem. Yeah. And they're fucking around. It's like, dude, so printer ink is the problem. Yeah, and they're fucking around It's like dude you clearly have the ability to actually tell when it's empty So stop showing me a little diagram of an empty ink cartridge with like a sad face over it where it's like oh Oh, I don't know what's gonna happen if you print one more page. You better stop

You better replace that 60 and I bought a nice fucking photo printer to the ink cause a fucking fortune why you have a nice photo printer because I'm printing I'm doing like all sorts of graphic design stuff so I need to be able to like make sure it looks right it's printed out yeah for like card game stuff and whatever else comic books I'm also printing out replacement inserts for ps2 games you know you want that to be high quality, of course. A bunch of PS2 games. The manuals? Not the manuals.

Does it say like duplicate manuals? The DVD, like the insert. Yeah, the insert. Oh, man, I remember having a template for that shit. Copying games and getting that sticker press on it. It's actually sad that the repository for them is all low quality JPEGs. I'm like, game community, what are you doing?

Why do we not have HD scans of all of this shit? Yeah. They're falling behind. I have a black and white printer. Yeah, you do. Everyone hates it. Why? Because you can't print whatever you want.

Well, who else is using your printer to print whatever you want? Well, you could get a color printer for the lady No, I'm putting my foot down on your baby registry now babies not getting a baby's never gonna know that you can print in color I'm not even gonna let the back and why see color pages the baby's gonna go Coloring book fuck is this? You're gonna go over the crayons for the kid. He's not allowed to color it. Yeah, you get a black crayon. Make the page completely black. Save us money.

Uh, look, I mean, here's the problem with this problem is everybody knows it and we've all just like kind of accepted it. There are like finally some lawsuits that are going like, what are you guys doing? So I had HP, I will never get an HP printer again, because HP is the most fuckery of all these like printing companies. So they would do this thing where they can't, it's, I think it's illegal to say like nobody else can make a ink cartridge that fits in a printer, right? Oh yeah, probably. Yeah.

So, you know, there were guys who would make compatible ink cartridges. So you would put the, you know, a third party ink cartridge in your HP printer, and here's how they would get you, is they would, a little pop-up would come up that would go, hey, oh, they'd go, we're not sure if this is an official HP ink cartridge.

No, no, no, here's the thing, it gets even worse. We're not sure if this is an official HP ink cartridge. No, no, no, here's the thing. It gets even worse. We're not sure if this is an official HP ink cartridge. Is this an official HP ink cartridge? Are you sure? And in your mind, you go, oh, I should say yes, because then it will use it, right? I'm going to tell it it's an official one. So you'd hit yes, and they go, we

believe you've been tricked into buying a counterfeit ink. If you hit yes, it would say, you have been tricked into buying a counterfeit ink cartridge If you hit yes, it would say you have been tricked into buying a counterfeit ink cartridge pretending to be a real HP one. So we're alerting the authorities? You had to say no, I'm using, I know I'm using a not HP one. Yeah. But by saying yes, this is an HP one, they went, well, actually it's not, so now you're

not allowed to use it at all. They also just started making printers that would only take like HP. They added a, they added it after the fact with the firmware updates. You'd update the firmware, and it would go, oh, by the way, it only takes HP ink now, and you agree to it in that little terms of service thing that comes along. That's one of those problems where I'm thinking the developers either don't speak English

or the printers. Yeah, they're not American, or they are just not afraid of getting killed. They're evil. Yeah. Like that's not something a normal person could be talked into. Like, hey, will you put a thing in there that says if they use the knockoffs, then... Then we'll shut the whole printer down? Well, because their whole model is obviously that the printer is a loss leader, where they sell the printer for, like,

nothing because the ink is how they make their real money. Oh, it is? Yeah, yeah. Printers are, like, sold for under the cost it takes, or, like, at break-even point. That's why they always, whenever you go to the store or when you use Toy C at Staples, it's like, get a printer for $50. Why isn't there one printer in the neighborhood?

You know? Just one, throw it out there in the middle of the street Put it out like the water faucet or mailbox. Well, I mean the tragedy of the commons I remember when I when I was in school, I was always printing out too much stuff and getting yelled at Well, mostly I was printing out game FAQs for no reason. Those are huge! I know yeah I was printing out like a hundred page like walkthroughs of like fighting games in what and where just at the library Or whatever oh, and then I was like oh, it's probably not that long

And I would go up But I'm just like watching librarian like watching like a hundred page for now, and she's like who printed this and I'm like uh I don't know man. They're live each volleyball gift buying guy Well, I remember being like this isn't that long it's not gonna be that big and then I'm like oh shit this is way more pages than I thought it was that was pretty bad there's a couple of one time I remember printing out an article from something awful yeah and the librarians like who printed this out I'm like I'm gonna get in

trouble because it's like racy or whatever and she's like this is fucking hilarious and I'm like oh man she did? yeah I'm like grooming you classic internet Yeah, she was grooming me. Yeah Wow, I'd low taxes dead Brutal I mean low tax fucked up a lot, but he like it is Well, thanks. Oh, what was his biggest back up? Breaking ties with smorky, of course. No smorky was a perp. Yeah the pedophile. Yeah, no it was probably beating all those women

I would say I don't know allegedly. I'd be if he would have beat him harder. He'd still be here. I Don't think that's true. Yeah sure it is didn't really seem to work out I've said, you know In my take the kid if... Yeah. To me, there's like an alternate universe where all this like... Like there should be a Newgrounds TV channel, you know? Like all this... Like fucking Sam Hyde shouldn't have a network sitcom.

He got fucked over. There's an alternate universe where all this like internet subversive comedy was loved and respected for what it was and like was not just destroyed by the fucking social media gatekeepers that banned all of it. Yeah, yeah, that's part of it, but these guys couldn't get shit done. Like I saw from the very beginning, well they needed a system, they needed,

their egos were just out of control. Yeah. Like did you see Tucker Max's movie? I hope they serve beer in hell. Man, he had it, that movie should have been a blockbuster. Yeah. For the amount of people they had supporting it. Tucker Max was huge at the time.

Yeah. Cause even I remember, and I was not a Tucker Max guy, but I remember everybody talking on him in that book and that movie. Yeah, and it was just too much control. Like all these guys thought, well, I have success here, I can just move it on. I mean, I like the guy, I'm not shitting him, but the movie didn't do well. There has been a long history of dropping the ball.

There was the Angry Video Game Nerd movie was not good. There was Red Letter Media's Space Cop was not good. There was a red letter media's space cop was not good. And then super killer continues in the grand tradition of... I hate to say space cop wasn't good. Space cop, I want to like sit them down and go, do not put Patton Oswald in this. Don't put Patton Oswald in it and Mike. Or kill him when he's on camera so you get some publicity for your movie. If one character is the goofy cop from Space, the other character is the straight man. 100% normal guy. It's not two goofy guys. I disagree.

Space cop? I don't know what's going on. No, you just needed a regular guy to go, okay, space cop, let's figure this out. The buddy cop. Yeah. I think everything about it was, I've only seen clips of space cop. I have not watched the whole movie.

We haven't seen the whole movie? No. Everyone's told me not to do it. For a bonus episode. No, it's good. It's good. Everything about it is good except for the execution. Interesting.

The clips I've seen, I'm like, Mike, I feel like Mike's supposed to be the straight man here. And so he's going, whoa, space cop. That's true. His acting is bad. His acting ruined it. Yeah. A lot of it. His acting seems like way over the top and like, Yeah.

Way too like, I know I'm doing a character. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Somebody needs to believe they're a real person in the movie. But what are you going to do? OK, wait, what was our problem? Yeah, yeah somebody needs to believe they're a real person in the movie But Okay, wait, what was our problem our problem was printer ink Which is very related to low tax and the death of the internet so stuck with these goddamn, you know That's the like whenever they have a future movie. Yeah, and all their shits on iPads. I was like, there's no fucking We're never getting that future

Always gonna be some fucking printer, jamming, fucking around, and being low on ink, always. No, people are not gonna go into a world where they're like, oh yeah, look at my fucking screen. Did you ever get your ink cartridges refilled? I have toner now, which I don't even know what it is. The laser. Yeah, what is the toner in a laser?

I thought you had a laser printer, and it was lasted forever Yeah, it's just using a laser to write the words well. It's got to have that yellow ink to uh Identify to the FBI so there's gonna be something with that. Oh, I figured it would make little tiny burns I probably tiny little burns, but then it's like your toner's low. I said what do you mean? I thought it's a laser I don't know how it fucking works. How does it not I? Just missed going to uh I missed going to fries by the way. I don't know how it fucking works, man. How does it not... I just miss going to, uh... I miss going to Fry's, by the way. I was a big Fry's fan.

Yeah. I miss having a guy take a little needle and inject ink back into the ink cartridge and going, Oh, I'm owning these motherfuckers at HP. I go, Did you ever buy one of the kits, get it all over your hands? Oh, no, I never tried that. I remember that being a thing.

Yeah. I would have liked trying... I remember, remember in the mall like in the mall back home when it opened up a printer ink replacement guy I'm like this guy is gonna make a fortune. Is the smartest man who ever existed but nobody took advantage of it. People just like for some reason it's like the convenience. They always fuck up. Yeah. Like they always even the replacement ones always are a little bit janky. It's true.

And then if one doesn't work, you're like, there goes all my savings. Yep. You know? So. I remember it being like, this is not working. They just put like a little sticker over it to seal it in. It should have been better technology.

Yeah, they never figured it out. All right. It's a good problem. With those photo printers, man, I got like eight different ink cartridges for like each color. It's a nightmare. You can print your zine on that? I could print, no, I got like eight different ink cartridges for each color. It's a nightmare You can print your zine on that I could print now. I can't print my zine on that would cause me a fortune never tell you about a

Mr.. Is it big? What like print? Yeah, yeah, you have a giant printer a giant printer. Yeah if you ever need to print something it could print like But it's expensive too. Why wouldn't I just go to Kinko's? It was expensive. No, well, no, it is cheap. That's the thing is I was going to Kinko's. It's cheaper than going to Kinko's How much is it? The printer was only to print a life-size of me. I don't know how to calculate the ink cost I don't know. You can't eyeball it like how much would it cost to print one giant like stand-up size full size of me?

20 bucks and like with a gun like 20 bucks. Maybe I don't fucking 20 bucks. That's it Yeah, I would think how many of those can you print? I want a whole bunch of them around the house. Well, that's the thing So that my girlfriend thinks I would have to buy like a new set of in car to see how many of those we could print Before the in cartridge runs out and that's how you determine what the cost one of those is sounds like a nightmare. Yeah. Well, I don't have any need to run that experiment like Arbitrary I just print like I just put the paper in get how often do you use it's monstrosity printer that you have It depends on if I'm in the middle of a project and I got to print some mounted fucking check the colors like 50 a day I was put when the when I was making the pogs and I had to make sure the yellow looked right, okay?

What pogs? The super killer pogs. Super killer pogs. Okay, so I had to print them out. Okay, how many times did you print that? I printed like, you know, ten different test copies. Ten pogs? No, no, no, like the whole sheet and whatever and I looked at it and I said, oh that yellow

doesn't look that good. You printed it out to see that? Yeah. Wow. You gotta print it out to see that? Yeah. Wow. You got to print it out to see what it actually looks like in person. No. You can't eyeball it.

No, no, no. It's close enough. I kept running it. Can't you go to Home Depot and get the penta color or whatever and just say, OK, there it is? No. Why? Wait, what?

I would get it. Go to Home Depot and get whatever the whatever the hex color is. That's not how graphic design- hex- or the Penta color. I know the ink has a name. Did they use- they don't use the computer hexadecimal codes for the paint, do they? No, but it's- they- somewhere prints it out on paper. You can go, okay, that's what that is. Yeah, but I wanna- It's not a big fucking mystery. No, but like I want to see it along with all the other graphics to see how they like compare next to each other It's a bunch of different colors. It's not just one color

And like cut it out and also you got to like you know with the comic stuff I got to print it out because there'll be textures and I print out I go okay if I put it at this size It's gonna add this like banding wave wavy effect, so I can't use that texture there You know that's more work than I've ever put into anything, I think. I'm retarded. You just eyeball it. Like, oh yeah, yellow, that's good.

I am, a lot of it is eyeballed, yes, but then there's some stuff where I go, well, I just want to print it out to make sure it looks okay, and then I had a guy doing the black and white colors and then I figured out if I print them out. The black isn't good enough, the black isn't black enough. No, it's that he used certain screen tone textures that were like little dots you know how like yeah yeah yeah I'm actually use little

dots like whatever yeah okay but you can't shrink it because it introduces this fucking like squeezes together it squeezes together and then it like you get this like shimmering effect and I'm like oh this is not gonna be usable unless I printed it exactly that side Find that out on like a dot printer though like a laser printer. Can you sure that's true? I guess I could have used I mean, I don't know well know cuz then I don't know what high quality whatever I could have gone to kinkos. It just seemed hey take a picture instead of running to kinkos every time I need to print something. I just bought a nice printer. All right

just seems like a big thing yeah I'm retarded I mean I got a piano it's too big you do I get rid of that piano I don't know it's taking up a lot of space piano can't you just get a keyboard well I have a keyboard but it doesn't sound the same Okay, those ones you can program in all the different things that get it pre-programmed Did I do one of those? I always get hit on Instagram with those little thumb keyboards. Yeah When you say thumb keyboard like the little like MIDI machine yeah things yeah, I've abandoned several shopping carts of one of those I bought one of those. I bought one of those. You ever see the launch pad? No, I was really convinced. I'm like,

oh, I can make electronic music. All I have to do is program all these buttons and press them. It's fun. I like that. You want it? I'll give it to you if you want to play around. Yeah, sure. It's a launch pad. Yes. Have you ever used it? Oh, man, there's this. What's the name of the song? Yeah, I tried to use it for like two seconds launch pad So I go to videos MIDI thing one of these yeah, yeah, yeah, and you haven't used it It's like it's probably that size 16 by 16. Yeah, I think so Wow I have an old one though. It's probably that size. 16 by 16? Yeah, I think so. Wow. It's quite a.

Well, because I watched a guy make a song, and the song was really good. And I was like, fuck, what was that song? Yeah, they're good songs. Yeah, it was really cool. And he was just like, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da,

da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, I mean, I probably could. I just never took the time. Sometimes you go like, oh, I'll take the time to learn that thing, and then you go, no, I'm not going to do it. I mean, I probably could I just never took the time. Sometimes you go like I'll take the time to learn that thing and then you know, am I gonna do that? Okay, my problem is killing all the chickens. But we gotta kill all the chickens.'re like somebody's calling Biden insane for killing all the chickens. Yeah, which makes me think. All right We probably should I think we had to kill all the chickens dick, but then I went to the other side and they're like This is crazy Next you know what happens when you eat chickens they die too too. And I'm like, that's not really the point that they're making.

Right. So right now there's a horrific bird flu. Well, yeah. But there's also a horrific killing chickens epidemic, where they're like letting that fog go over them, and they're like steaming them alive to kill them I heard about the steam was there a video of the steam killing him in really exotic and Painful ways to kill them

Shoot him Yeah, guys goes in there with a machine gun That's not boiling I don't think that's the way. I think the fucking, the poison mist is probably the best way to do it. Poison mist, yeah. Either that or send them down a slide into a grinder. I don't know, but nobody seems to be, even the people that are saying we have to do this, aren't really saying, we have to do this, let's come up with a better way.

That's why I think they're full of shit too. I think that's a really good way! If you told me, hey, we're gonna kill these chickens. No, no, no, no, not the way, but how many we're killing. Okay, listen, here's the stats. 150 chickens have been killed. 150 million chickens have been killed since 2022 because of the bird flu. 150 million That seemed like too many chickens to be killed. How many chickens are normally killed? I'm glad you asked Because I don't have that Even though I told the AI to give me that I

Would imagine let me think how many chickens how you think- How many people are in America? 27 to 40% of egg-laying chickens have been killed since 2022. That's a good point though. That's bad. Okay, that's fucking up. 40%? Well, egg-laying chickens are different from, uh, chickens that you would consume. Because they have the vagina?

Uh, I don't know if- No, male chickens they don't use for for anything right. I don't know male chickens Well, you've never seen the video of how they sort chicks. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so they go like all right It's a male they throw it in the grinder Because the the females are both either egg-lang or can be fattened up to be sold. Yeah market, okay? 27 to 40 percent of egg laying chickens. I guess when I found out there's a machine that if you're a boy, it murders you was part of the life of a chicken, I went, well,

I have to abandon all ability to care about this animal because that's the most horrific thing. At this point, who cares? Yeah, but is this why? It's already horrific. Is this really why shit's so expensive? Because they're killing all these chickens. Yes!

Eggs? Yeah, why not? What else would it be? Trump? I don't know. The egg people do not want to make eggs unaffordable. They want to sell a lot. They already sell a lot of eggs. They're not selling more eggs at $10 a thing. Okay, so this is a big problem. The problem is that we have less chickens.

Killing all the chickens is a big problem. Well, the idea is that we're killing them so that the bird flu does not continue to rampage through that population, then egg production can get back to normal. But then don't we get like a one super chicken that doesn't get killed by the... Doesn't it work itself out? Yeah, we're gonna get one super chicken, but that can be handled and potentially recruited, made to fight in Ukraine. This doesn't seem like a good plan, is all I'm saying.

I think it's a better plan than any plan. You have not presented an alternate plan. Don't do this. Stop doing this. That's not a plan. That's don't do a plan. No, no, no. You can't say my plan is to not do your plan.

Well, no, you can. This plan sucks. Don't do that. Just like separate them. How do you tell if a chicken's sick? How do you tell if a chicken's sick? How do you tell if a chicken's got bird flu? Is this a joke? No, I'm serious. How would you know?

I mean, I don't know. It's kind of like limping around or something. So you gotta spend a guy out there to look at 15 million chickens and figure out which one of them is walking weird? Yeah, that's his job. What if he misses one? Well, that's too bad. No, it's not too bad That means the bird flu keeps going you're gonna be that bad. How come nothing else has this then? How come nothing else has bird flu? Like they're not killing all these cows because of cat mad cow disease. Yes they are!

No, they would only kill that one cow. They're not wiping out all cows I'm pretty sure that they killed a lot. I think they killed like the whole herd if one of them got mad cow I'm pretty sure What really? I think so. I think it like cuz the whole herd. If one of them got mad cow, I'm pretty sure. What, really? I think so. I think it like, cause it transmits through the feed. They would assume they're all infected at that point.

I could be wrong. I don't know. I would rather not have to worry about, first of all, it mutating. Okay. Oh, see here we go. Here comes the bullshit. Why is that bullshit?

Cause it's like stuff that isn't happening. Yeah, it's not like any diseases for animals have ever gotten into the human population It's not like some gay guy in San Francisco said I wonder what would happen if I import a monkey and fuck the shit Out of it. What's the early life on that guy on the AIDS guy? Yeah, it's but we don't know AIDS patient zero We never figured it out. Really? No one's come forward Satoshi and AIDS patient zero. That's what we need. Yeah, but if they're the same guy I don't think Satoshi is AIDS patient zero I would I do I do believe there's a gay guy out there right now who knows who AIDS patient zero is and he doesn't

Want to say because he's number two Well, no cuz he went to the party where they fucked the shit out of the monkey and then they all died and he was The one guy who went I'm not fucking you guys are crazy I'm not fucking that monkey. It's really a fucking a monkey. It's not eating a monkey Are you sure it's fucking a monkey probably fucking and then eat it after you probably do both. I don't know about that They've obviously been eating monkeys for like there's countries that probably eat monkeys. Yeah, they never got AIDS. I Guess that's true. It's only once gay guys are having a real good time. They're like, you could free love.

It was the 70s. They're like, free love, you can do anything. I'm going to fuck a monkey. And they're like, oh, don't fuck a monkey. And they're like, no, no, no. I don't want to get a guy, though. And they're the last ones that I would think would fuck a monkey.

I would think a straight man would fuck a monkey. It might have been a straight guy. That's a good point. Yeah. Did you ever see the story about the- You don't get AIDS from straight sex though So it's from straight. So not really it's a lot harder You really got a lot hard for a lot of sand in there as the Africans are doing for some reason

Yeah, you got to tear something. What do you call it? Did you ever see the story about I forget what country it was where they had a chimpanzee prostitute and everybody's like what the fuck are you? doing this monkey news? They had like a they dressed it up like a lady and you're like oh yeah they did you can find it it's real bad they had a chimpanzee prostitute and eventually I don't know what happened the government was like dude you could not have a chimpanzee prostitute because they just put fucking lipstick and a dress on it and there's a bunch of guys really yeah

I'm fucking this chimpanzee. The ch the chimp would fight them and kill them? I don't think the chimp was probably into it. I don't think so. Maybe once, not all day. I think you could probably train a monkey to get into it. I don't think you could do that. Are there gay furry guys that train their dogs to fuck them in the ass or something? I'm not saying it's good, but I'm sure the dog you know probably is like ass is fun

27 40% of hens Cut egg production by billions annually. Yeah, it's a big problem. I just don't buy it like do you got you have a system? We got to kill half the chickens. I don't think so Like, do you have a system where you gotta kill half the chickens? I don't think so. Again, I'm asking what the... Don't kill... Don't try it. Well, the explanation makes sense to me. I understand being like, well, there's a horror...

I've watched enough virus movies to be like, yeah, murder them. Yeah. It's the fucking Omega strain. Larger flock sizes means more chickens... Okay, so how about cutting down on the farm size then? That's a plan. We can't do that. We need those broilers. No, so how about cutting down on the farm size then? That's a plan. We can't do that, we need those broilers. No, no, no.

We need those eggs. Well, let small farms do it. Don't let big farms do it. How about that? This is a farming problem? There's not enough small farms making eggs? Yeah, too many big farms. Well, I have always watched those videos where people go,

hey, I got a chicken, lays eggs for me. I'm like, that's pretty cool. You like those? Yeah, but I don't- Do you have any around you? I wouldn't want a chicken making noise. Yeah, I've had- All the time.

Yeah, all the time. And they're always talking about it too. With the people who have the chicken? The people are always talking about their fucking chickens. Yeah. Doesn't Tim Pool do that? I think you'd really only do that in the like countryside We got a big backyard and you can put the thing against the fucking fence

Yeah, I think there's some chicken people around here. Yeah, every once in a while here one. I don't know why I don't hear it all the time And then I go well then I got a There's kind of a nice layer when you go to the store and you go Oh, this came out of a chicken's butthole But I never have to see that chicken's butthole. And a machine washed all the butthole off the egg. Yeah. So I can go, all right.

I don't want to do it. There's way less thinking about butthole right now. Coming out. Yeah, then you got to go out there, you got to take it. You go, oh, this was just up inside this fucking thing. And they're not as, they're like small. They are a little small. Somebody told me you could go to Trader Joe's and get a fertilized egg. And they're not as, they're like small. They are a little small.

Somebody told me you could go to Trader Joe's and get a fertilized egg. And you take it home and put it in a heat lamp and a chicken will come out. I watched a video of a guy doing that. It's true. You can cut open the top of the egg and like put Saran Wrap over it and just watch the fucking chicken grow inside the egg. Like a little fucking translucent, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can see the fucking... Quadd inside the egg. Ugh. Like a little fucking translucent- yeah yeah yeah you can see the fucking eeeh eeeh Hmm.

Quaddle the reactor! I told you that was impossible but then I was wrong. Ummm. What? They sell fertilized eggs at Trader Joe's? Trader Joe's, yeah. Why?

That's what I'd like to know about it. Why would you want a fertilized egg? Why would you want this? I don't want to think- I don't want to do an abortion. That's fucking- it's already kind of gross to be eating want this? I don't want to think I don't want to do an abortion. It's already kind of gross to be eating eggs, honestly I don't want to think about like, ah that was gonna be a thing. Okay Uh 13 million hens culled in November alone. That's too many fucking that's too much. All right, we killed too many chickens. I'm sorry

well Isn't it just gonna get worse? And then I bring in the problem of, you know, that human lives are the same as pig lives and everybody thinks I'm- It's not the life, it just seems wasteful. Like, why are you killing all these? Something is wrong with this system if you're killing half the chickens

and you don't really know why. See, this is what always gets me twisted up. It's the same with the cancer kids. I go, look, I get it. I have empathy for the kid, right? half the chickens and you don't really know why. So this is what always gets me twisted up. It's the same with the cancer kids. I go, look, I get it. I have empathy for the kid, right? Yeah. And I guess I have empathy for the chickens or whatever.

But at a certain point, so many fucking things are dying all the fucking time for no reason that I'm like, what am I actually supposed to care about? It's that empathy for the chicken. It's retarded. Everything's expensive. And you're just poisoning half of chickens? Why? That doesn't- is anybody- is anybody running this?

Like is anybody paying attention to this? Yeah, God's running it. Everybody in here is like, well there's half the chickens, oh yeah, whoops. God poisoned all the chickens. Nothing we can do about it. It's our job down here on earth to do his will and cull the herd. It just seems retarded. Doesn't seem retarded to you?

Eggs, a dollar a piece, that's fine. I mean, I don't know. I'm not buying a lot of eggs. Yeah, when I went, I bought eggs. You should, it's healthy. I eat eggs, it was like eight bucks. I went, yeah, all right, eggs are more expensive. I'm also one of these guys, I don't know.

We gotta hear about eggs all the time now, cause they're... When the price of gas goes up, do you really lose your mind? I don't lose my mind. It annoys me. It's annoying Yeah, like what it's like, you know five five bucks a gallon. Yeah, that sucks Yeah, so they're just dumping half the gas out because it could be poisoned basically This is one of those things like it ebbs and flows like the economy sucks I'm way worried about way other, more shit. Like what? Like fucking Trump's crypto reserve

tanking the crypto market for some reason. No, I wasn't holding a bunch of crypto. You weren't? No, I know you, you're a crypto boy. When is your, what are you saying? I am having a lot of fun over there. I don't care. Yeah, that's good.

Why? It's not down that much. It came back a bit, yeah, that's good. Why? It's not down that much. I Came back a bit. Yeah, what's what's down Bitcoin? Uh, A lot of stuff. Well, I was all happy about my chain link being up and then it came down I don't know even know I know what it does is on the defy oracle node and you swap it and you spit it Yeah, and you verify the transaction. I forgot what the voicemail line is right here. How to get to the voicemails.

I don't think it's that. Well, guys, don't forget to check out our new bonus episode, Biggest Problem in Sports, at patreon.com, it's the biggest problem. We should do a new bonus episode very soon, and hopefully we will. I want to thank everybody who's been making clips. Yeah.

And shorts. How are they doing? I don't know. who's been making clips. Yeah, how are they doing? I don't know, I've been checking in. I was busy watching my own YouTube channel fail. I have a new video in the tank. I saw it. It's fine. I felt bad. Don't! It's for my Patreon followers. So as long as they want it and they paid for it so they get it

I saw somebody post on your new video. Yeah Wow, it's so great to see you back posting I don't want to watch this Marvel stuff, but yeah, it's really good to see you posting again and I said what a horrible comment Well if anything uh You went out of your way to say, Hey, I'm so happy you're back. I'm not watching this video. But I'm so happy to see you again.

I think the audience tastes might have moved. I don't know what people are in. Well, I have talked to some guys and I did have some new editors help me out with that one. So, we might be able to make more videos. We're talking about making another one that will be maybe food related. I know we've talking about making another one that will be maybe food related I know we've talked about making food videos in the what's gonna happen with the

Star Wars is dead people you guys can't just make movies suck anymore, right? It's over movies are good now Well, they're going back to being good. It's like maybe I don't know some of them. Yeah, I think just the audience doesn't care anymore It's like who cares about any of this shit There's not like a big hater audience anymore. Yeah, well, I still find it I still find it interesting, you know to go like what's wrong with the movie side, you know I have fun picking that stuff apart, but maybe I don't know if there's a big I don't know if there's well some people get views on it Snape is black now and people didn't even give a shit. Yeah, it seems like the Pop culture guys are kind of going through the motions

I think also like Star Wars had a longer shelf life so like I could put out a video about a Star Wars movie And I could spend time on it to make it like actually like whatever Mm-hmm, but it seems for like these small Marvel movies like either you put it out the day the movie comes out or like It's over nobody cares about talking about it anymore. Yeah, or before. Yeah, which doesn't fit my style cuz I'm like oh, I want to cram all these jokes in and little fucking things cuz Well cuz otherwise I don't care about what's the point? What's the point of it? That is the videos not even interesting or funny It's just me going oh fucking sucks in front of a web camera. Yeah, okay So I might move on to topics that are not time-sensitive

Food yeah exactly like I can always just talk about I have a video about in-and-out fries that has been in the work for a long time Okay, that's good. Why? Maybe that fucker will want to see that. The scientific reason in-and-out fries are the worst in America Hater movie okay. Well what they're terrible They're not terrible. In-and-out fries are great. You like in-and-out fries. Yeah, they're good if they're well done Well, not too well done. I'm gonna use this clip in my video. So thanks for the sound bite They can be they can go wrong. They are always wrong. Everything about them is wrong Discussed why they're wrong, but I don't want to spoil the video. Well your video. Okay I don't want to spoil the video now. Oh yeah, don't spoil your video. Okay.

It's not the oil. The biggest problem in the universe is long song intros. Like, I get it, once in a while, that's cool, have it be the first song on your fucking album, but I don't need to be three minutes into a song that's a fucking banger before it actually starts to get good. Like, listen cool and fucking all these other bands are like, you know what would be really great? We have three minutes of shit. Especially when it comes to stingers, bits, and parody. We have a lot of that.

Fuck, we get it. Have it be a separate track. We've had a lot of those problems here. Have your fucking five minute think piece be a separate fucking track, and then let me listen to the good shit without having to fast forward. Fuck you guys.

Is there a good long intro to a song? Yeah. I can't think of one. Freebird is kind of long, but the whole song is long. I'm trying to think what songs have. You know what I think sucks is when a song has a great intro and then the singer sucks. And you're like, man, the intro to this song was awesome. What, like what?

There's like a couple bands that I can't remember, where I'm like, I really like the intro to this song. Then the guy comes in and I'm like, fuck this shit. All I listen to, it's just everything I listen to sounds just like a mush now. I don't even know what music you listen to. Me either, man. What's up, Dixon Z? If I'm gonna give a problem it's gonna be that

it's too hard to explain to someone why Severance is a good show. It's like just watch it motherfucker just trust me. I've given you only good advice before just trust me. Anyway what I'm really talking about is predictions to Severance. It's been fucking wild, but I want to get it on the record. So the big questions are, what the fuck is Cold Harbor? He spoiled the show. Watch season two, the show important that Cold Harbor gets done. What the fuck is up with the pod people?

I'm on Watch Severance. Why is everybody fucking pod people in this company? And thirdly, how does the company even make money? Right, so this is a big one. How is this two minutes long? All right, man, you go make the video essay. What do you mean? Why is everyone pod people? This is not your video essay channel man, you go make the video essay! What do you mean, why is everyone pod people?

This is not your video essay channel, you go make that yourself. It's ranting about servers. That's the whole point of the show! Okay, okay, okay, okay. Uhhhh... Alright, so, Dick yelling at Vito, gave me like flashbacks to... Dick yelling at Osterios,

talking about personal stuff and with pointy years ago when that happened I went on reddit the the dick show subreddit and asked what the actual like Gossip was because no one ever Said it what it was on the show like specifically and someone said that the gossip was that 80s girl Was actually a dude The big the big I look I've been very good at keeping things personal. I've never mentioned the full inflatable latex cow outfit. Of course.

I've kept that close to the chest. I'm very good at keeping secrets. I don't think, I don't even know any secrets about you. I don't think there's anything for me to spoil. Let me think. What personal? No, don't think that's the problem Especially right now

It's liberals thinking they're smarter than conservatives Especially when they bring up like trans Like you guys are really Trans Think you're smarter than us and you think there's what like 27 genders Wow that is the worst voicemail ever Are you kidding me That was a

Don't you think that Oh you liberals think you're so smart but you guys think there's the best smell ever. Are you kidding me? That was a, oh you liberals think you're so smart, but you guys think there's more genders. Do you see liberals going like, does it seem like they're fixated on saying like, Elon is dumb? Like, Elon's actually really dumb. Trump's actually really dumb. Like, what does that matter?

Why are you guys so fixated on those two guys being dumb? What do you mean? Well, I think that- What does that matter? Why are you guys so fixated on those two guys being dumb? What do you mean? Well, I think that- Like, what does that do for you? I think the focus is always on your political opponents. You wanna portray them as incompetent, cause then people don't vote for them. I mean, that was a big thing with Joe Biden.

Look, he's falling apart, he's stuttering, he's sniffing everything. Doesn't it seem kinda weird though? It doesn't seem weird to you? I think that's- politics is, trying to convince everyone else the other side is dumb. But normal people, like normal streamers are saying actually he's a really dumb guy. Well Elon Musk's intelligence is interesting because, okay remember how they always said Trump was playing 4D chess and you're like, okay calm down Scott Adams I think sometimes just says things cuz they're funny or in the moment. Yeah

Not everything Elon Musk is a guy where I go Okay, you're like retarded, right? Well, I think Elon Musk is to me what I am to you, which is, is this guy playing me? Is this like a long con? Is this guy like a secret master manipulator? I don't think that. About me or about anybody? About either of you.

Okay, but let's be clear. He, remember when he bought Twitter and everyone's like, what a fucking idiot, right? He's going to lose all this money and it's gonna be waste. And now he's literally- Running the government. Yeah, he's the second-hand man of the president. I think there's a direct line from buying Twitter to that. It's a rough purchase though.

It's a rough purchase, and I don't think he was able to anticipate that, but I do think he has made moves where I'm like- That's a smart move. He's made moves that I go a little bit of luck that's pretty yeah yeah like you did have to win the election or else you'd be bankrupt dude if they didn't win the election like prison dude it was a long man what a crazy oh Trump almost died yeah somebody shot at him yeah like we are in a splintered timeline. So we can't be dumb. Like calling them dumb is always so tiresome. I don't even think you guys believe that.

There's different types of dumb though where you go like, why do you think you can convince Kanye to not hate Jews? Stop. Just, it's Kanye. Uh, yeah. He's a black man who heard something about the Jews once. No, because every Jew around him has tried to put him in a mental asylum or a st- I wonder why. He's getting threatening. Well, you're not convincing him.

Hey, God, you should take this medication. It'll probably like stabilize you. And if you don't- Oh, oh! And if you don't, we're gonna- I'm gonna gonna put you in prison forever I don't think that was ever on the table yeah that's what that one guy said the same guy that caused the same weird personal trainer that caused a bunch of celebrity like meltdowns. Was it a personal trainer? Some kind of personal doctor I don't know. Wasn't it Ari Emanuel he hates or whatever?

He hates him too. We gotta have a We got to have a guy on the podcast. I don't know if I'm allowed to tell this Ari Emanuel story. Here we go. Finally, some. I need a bingo card for me. Oh, for a classic line? There's going to be a burn. This is how I know Dick is a great guy.

80s girl's pregnant, so she can't have her period, so Dick is having them for her. Period. What a womanly performance Dick! I like to veto more and more every week. Late comic began. At least this bitching is childish and he knows it is. The period line. Was a great one. Another classic, classic spat. Ah, Mad Over... Oh, here we go. I had a bunch of stuff. So your problem in the universe is people getting mad over little, insignificant things. Case in point, when Dick McEsserson got mad at Vito for talking about his Pokemon card selling.

Hmm. Come on, man. Like we haven't been making fun of Vito's badass, disgusting face, gut, and head cheese this entire time. And Riddikillin came on Superkiller, which we already know is not going to come out. It is coming out. Come on, Dick. What are you, going through detox or something, man?

Mmm. Yeah. I should go through detox. Oh, you the same guy left another one? Is it the same guy? Look, everybody loves the show. Hey, Dick. Hey, Vito. This is lucky.

30 seconds perfectly. Here we go. Honestly, the sports spending thing is so fucking stupid. Obviously, all my friends are addicted. The funniest thing is that one of them, or Disney Plus, when I was playing stuff on it, all I get is sports betting ads. That's crazy. On Disney Plus?

I was like, okay, probably because they're plus and I'm an adult or whatever. My cousin, her kids, she was like, yeah, we had to get the ad-free version of Disney Plus. We just kept showing them sports betting ads get the ad free version of Disney Plus. Just kept showing them like sports betting ads in the middle of Bluey. Wow. That was kind of everywhere and very annoying. Dude, that's not cool. You can't show gambling ads on fucking kids networks.

Doors are off on sports betting. It's like totally, totally fine. I don't see it because I'm not into sports. But I know like, I know that. Do you watch a lot of ads? Yeah. I'm trying to think what I've been getting ads for I just get ads for fucking actually I'm like They do that What were we talking about? Try not to come challenge or whatever a lot of those ads. Yeah, but then I go that's Gwen 10 from fucking Ben 10

I can the reason she's named Gwen Ten is because she's ten. How are you doing an ad for like ten year old hentai on fucking YouTube? That's fucking crazy. Uhhh, okay. Did we make our goal? I'm sure we made our goal. Did we make the... I'm sure we made it.

Did we make the goal? We made the goal. We did make the goal! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh time. Oh, you want to watch the whole video is the problem. Do a bonus episode? I don't know man like because it's so long. It is long. 30 minutes of us pausing it is gonna take gonna take forever. Two hours. You want to do it tomorrow? Yeah I could do it tomorrow. Oh you could? Yeah. Yeah. Okay think about it. Let's think about it while we do the super chats I feel bad that everybody super chat, but they go at least get a bonus episode I really gotta be careful Setting up these super chat I didn't think we'd hit it so

Part of it. I feel like we're dick teasing them. Can we watch we gotta watch look? Let's watch like a minute. Let's watch like a couple minutes There's gonna be multiple parts of this I'm just saying like what are we gonna do sit silently for half? It's a half hour. It's all sit silent Oh, you mean there's gonna be some I'm saying there's gonna be so much to talk about oh You're making a lot of you're making a lot of sense You want to try to watch like five minutes of it? And then we can maybe-

But then we're gonna be so amped up to watch it. I can't be here for another two hours cause I will like pass out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. So. Let's do a bonus episode. We'll do a bonus episode.

This is such a cock- I was so excited to watch it. If you send us a super chat and you're not a patron maybe you can send us a DM or a link you'd like to. No, if you're not a patron you don't get to send them any links. I know. You don't get to watch it. I didn't realize it didn't make any sense anyway. Okay

I'm not trying to like be unreasonable, but I'm like we'll be here for another two hours. You're breaking my balls here. And honestly, I feel like I need to like prepare myself for- For the Eric Jalaschis? Yeah, I don't know. I don't have the right fucking energy levels for it. Okay. All right. All right. Sorry. We can do a bonus episode Vito says it That's what we're doing. I Think it's gonna be better. I agree. I think it'll be better. I agree with you. We can devote our energies to it. Okay. Okay Coup for 50. Thanks for not killing yourselves vetoes booty Por favor get super tips Carl has your voice on it Richard. Oh

He does Oh for super tip. That's funny We had talked about looking into super tips, but there's like a lot of different services that do that So I don't know which one then it pops up during the show I don't know LJ clobbering over to a big problem is drawstring pants being annoying God, I got a fucking I got a knot in my Drawstring sweat shorts, you can't get out. It's getting bigger every time, but you know what? The pants are finally not loose So it's like I don't want to tamper with it because in the pants will fall down. I bought

locking Instead of a knot, it's like a little thing that goes over the drawstring. Okay. And it like locks it where you want it. Like a plastic thing? Yeah, yeah. Like old re-bought, like old tennis shoes?

Yeah, yeah, I bought like a, I bought a bunch of them. Stu K for two, how much wood would a veto chuck? Chuck, and then for two he says, Chuck Dix in my ass good one Stukae for two and life gives you lemons you eat them. Eat em. Classic. Straturgy for five Okay, guys, make sure you get super chats in don't forget to vote on all the problems at biggest problem dot show That's correct. Brits made for two. Oh and we will be at hack-a-mania guys. Don't forget your tickets at hack-a-mania You know we're getting hotel rooms this time. We are? Yeah

We we did before. We did before. Oh, paid for. Oh. Didn't you get paid for the last one? I got paid money, I didn't get a free hotel room. That's just how much I spent on my room. Are we getting free now? Well, yeah, Melton said he's getting us a blocker of rooms

and he asked me what- That's just money we don't get though, right? Well- You just kept your money last time. And freeloaded. I mean, I could still do that, but then he said, if everyone's gonna be at the same, was everybody at the same hotel?

No, last time it was all over the place. It was a big pain in the ass. Yeah, well, if everyone's gonna be at the same hotel, then I wanna be at the hotel. Yeah, okay. If everybody was everywhere else. Yeah. So yeah, to my buddy who I thought

I would be staying with, I guess. Although I might, if you're gonna be there a day early out. I might I might go down on like You're going just Friday Saturday and come back Sunday. Yeah. Yeah, I might show up a day early like Thursday Have fun. I like Vegas. Yeah, like driving around Right Brits man for two dick more triggered by his hair than veto is by fat All right, Brits man for two, Dick more triggered by his hair than Vito is by fat. Techno Viking 5 can't make the live show Vito. Richard runs a service nerds pay for. You genuinely enjoy Evangelion. You are not the same. I'm not saying we're the same. LJ Claverino for five. Vito, do Dick a favor take home the TDS sex doll. It's a one-of-a-kind piece of TDS. Lauren,

it'll be worth money someday. Didn't the Maddox corpse go in the trash too? money some day. Didn't the Maddox corpse go in the trash too? Uh, yeah. Good. And the neighbors are complaining that I threw away a perfectly good mannequin. They didn't hear, they didn't think, no I heard them. But they were walking by gossiping about me and they said, throw away a perfectly good mannequin. And I overheard it. You could've gave it to them I guess. Do they want a fucking mannequin? I don't know, I don't even know what that's supposed to mean. A good one like what am I known for? Throwing away as opposed to a half good. Oh, well, you know, at least throw a shitty man It was all cut out first of all fucked up mannequin, and I don't see why it's I don't see how why it offends you

That a mannequin is in the trash a nice neighborhood. I can't imagine them caring about three I see people throw nice stuff out out here who the fuck needs a mannequin No one at all Well, that's what annoyed me about it. Yeah, that's a very bizarre thing to say Of all that well, you know what you should be happy. That's the only thing they complain about It's not well, okay. I guess it's not all the things they complain about that would probably be low on the list Do you get in trouble with your neighbors every time I park? I always wonder if your neighbors are like.

I don't wanna talk about it. Terry Hesicles for two, big ups to our new trans guy friend, Tucker Dixon for number two. What time does Sean Connery show up to Wimbledon? Tennis. That's a Sean Connery impression I was supposed to do. No, no, no, no. You gotta pay more for that shit.

Cannon for two, what era do we live in this week, Vito? What era do we live in? The era of dead chickens and cancer kids. Johnny Rocket for 50, thanks for the maniac! Shout out on the dick show, pirate time. You gotta get the maniac. Go on Indiegogo, get the maniac by Johnny Rocket. M-A-N-I-A-K.

It's very funny. He's a very funny writer. Dribblers for for to be fair. Oh Fashionably unemployed for two nobody talks about Gandhi's little brother Lee Gandhi Lee Was Gandhi's last name? It's Gandhi it Mahatma was this yeah, maha maha maha ma li Lee Gandhi Lee Gandhi Lee Gandhi's nuts

It's terrible Johnny rocket for five Eric shall's the ultimate lol cow. Wow. Man, he is. He's really setting the record straight and he's got like title cards and stuff. Oh, we got to watch a little bit. We have to watch a little bit. We have to watch a little bit. Honestly, it for- Watch it again. I can't stand listening to that motherfucker talk. I don't know how I'm gonna get through 30 minutes of it. Why? What do you mean? I hate him. Why? I hate his voice. I hate hearing him talk.

But he's so goofy. He's such an asshole. Young Clipper. Wait, young Ripper. I don't know, man, because just like listening to a guy lie about you in this like smug tone I mean I don't know, it happens to me a lot What's the... what's the problem? It also happens to me a lot and I don't like it ever

Who cares? I don't know Is it on his main channel? Look at this, they lied It only has 4,000 views though Yeah cause people hate this shit. Like, it's just Eric, he thought this was gonna be like huge.

It's just Eric doing the, shoving a glass jar up his ass, and it breaks and he bleeds out. That's every one of these videos about him talking about his stupid company. This is gonna be really difficult. Really? I hate listening to this game.

All right, let's get started on just a little tiny bit. Squeeze it in a little bit. This is gonna be really difficult. Really? I hate listening to this game. Alright, let's get started on just a little tiny bit. Squeeze it in. Grab the edge. There we go, ready to set your sails for fails. And there it is July, the Rippaverse

professionally edited video about how everyone else is lying. This is what your money goes to when you buy his comics guys. When you buy a Ripper for his comic, it goes to him making videos about himself and how great he is and how everyone lies about him. That's like half the budget. The other budget is the rest of it is spent on the forklift races around his empty warehouse.

This is so retarded. I know. Well, that's the other problem. I cringe also. They lied about the entire thing. I hate to use that term, but like I actually, I get like the same feeling from like watching like a cringey fucking public humiliation video. Yeah. Beyond the Narrative number one. So is that his new series? Beyond the Narrative?

This guy starts a series every week. He's gonna abandon this after two. What happened to comic bidness or whatever? Monetizing the haters. Yeah. Okay. Took off I was everywhere interacting with fans critics and even the haters, but once the rip- Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa is this- Is it sped up? No, he just jumped into it.

Listen to this. When I started the rip-a-verse There's- this is sped up. Before the rip- Ripperverse took off I was everywhere interacting with fans critics and even the haters but one interactive with fans critics and even the haters that's sped up He doesn't talk like that. He's not good at voiceover. Maybe it's sped up a little bit He can't physically talk like that is his lips are too big. He's reading out the script. You can he can't read I know he can't read so I don't fucking know there's no way

We're not gonna make it through this thing. We're four seconds in oh my god. There's no way this is his voice Something's got to be wrong with it or never play back. We do a bonus episode. It's gonna be eight hours long There's what once the river verse exploded my life changed I made a promise to myself my family my team and our customers to focus on being a better professional for the sake of this business Unfortunately, some saw that as an opportunity without me actively addressing things No, we didn't see that as an opportunity You said you quit doing these because you were getting your ass kicked You were getting made fun of so bad and all of the all of the

Men's skirts that you ran under and said dick's making fun of me make him stop also got their asses blown out So you stopped paying attention you just shut down Completely you retired. That's what happened Eric. That was the worst part of the whole thing is like There's a universe where Eric just ignores you, doesn't go to Ethan Van Sciver crying like, why are you being friends with Dick and why are you listening to his criticism or whatever else? Nicholas Vaquita, let me come on your old show and talk about your partner. Everything about this whole, yeah just keep it going. Drama, form and content creators feel the gap the gap floating lies taking things out of context

Shows a backwards graph. I'm gonna scream Stock video of a tiny child scrolling his Instagram feed? And you told your editor, can you add the word lies floating up? Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah, come on, man. Imagine the amount of effort that went into this that could have gone into anything else. Imagine if this amount of effort had gone into- Like blowing your brains out. That would have been more productive.

Or going through your new re-release of Isom, which has the same spelling mistake that was pointed out to you the first time that you didn't fix again. Cavalry. Cavalry. But now he took out the- He took out the word the.

It used to be the cavalry, and now it's just, here comes cavalry. Now he's making it seem like that's the superhero's name. Which would mean that the superhero misspelled his name too. Cause the cavalry is a hill where Jesus was crucified. It's not a, it's not any kind of mobile. It's also, it's a frequent misspelling. So the superhero would have to constantly explain

that he spelled it like that on purpose. I'm named after the hill where Jesus died. The cavalry is here. No, no, no. It's the cavalry. No, actually mine's on purpose. My brother's the carvery. He works at a hometown buffet. In his spare time. My brother's over there. Spelled T-H-I-E-R.

My brother's on purpose spelled TH I Er my brother's on purpose who all right Unchecked while there are plenty of people that are pushing back and defending me is rarely creators with big platform So a lot of like search did Who is how is he reading this and while there are plenty creators, but then there are plenty of people pushing back He's almost good Yeah, he's not a... He's just reading it as fast as he can because he thinks that's what a voiceover is.

Especially the perpetually online, start believing the lies. While most of this nonsense hasn't impacted the business, it's not for lack of trying. These people go out of their way to go after anyone who supports me or the Ripperverse, fans, business partners, even colleagues. They don't deserve that. So I'm starting this segment beyond the narrative

Who's this? Who's this black guy? fucking Zeus from Can you back it up like five sets so his so his? Justification go back to when there was ever partners these people go out of their way to go after anyone who supports Meals with Reverse. Fans, business partners, even colleagues. Stop. So he's saying the reason he has to make this video, he's not defending himself, Dick. The problem is that people are going after his colleagues.

These retards. So let's see, we have D-Day Cobra, who is retarded, Gay 3PO, Epic Mike, who is a surprisingly chill and cool guy. I don't know why. He's like, he's a retard. He's been like chill with me, I don't know. Yeah.

My Nerdy Home is retarded, Chris Gore used to be legitimate, but is now retarded. Jose arises from the epic verse, who is super retarded, and I have no idea who George the giant slayer is So he's gotta defend these morons. He's gotta defend these six grown men From the horrific slander that is being is it because we made fun of Jay's book Probably because because Jay put his book out the rip us down. We all said well this looks like shit It looks like shit. This looks like a grooming manual

this looks like something a Christian camp counselor would give a Like a goth kid that wandered away, and yeah wants to fuck them. I hate to say this but uh Jay I Even said like hey your art looked good until somebody came along and fucked it like the art looks like shit Did the anchor completely demolish that book? I don't know what the fuck happened So it's not like we're going after you just, like your book looks like shit. I'm sorry.

And now we're both. And your name sounds like gaypedia. Well, you're also whatever, but I don't know why you're making a book about a little black girl. That is funny. Like, and I don't know why you made a book about a little black girl.

He's like, I can't wait for my friend, Eric July, to publish it for me. You shouldn't have done that. Shouldn't be doing those things. I guess, here's the thing is Eric's in this weird position where he's made his thing. If you go to his Comic-Con booth to not meet Eric July, it's meet critical drinker and all these other guys

who don't make comic books. It's meet nerd-rotic, you know? Well, cause it's all just E-celeb bullshit. Yeah, it's just E-celeb bullshit, but now he's going, oh, but they're attacking me. And it's like, well, you know because it's all just he's celeb Yeah, it's just he slept bullshit, but now he's going oh, but they're attacking me And it's like well you're making them a part of the river guys all suck. That's why yeah Like it's not like we're attacking just guys you know we're attacking guys that you specifically have made part of your brain What people make fun of drunk three pure's book he's like your featured guest he's part of the fucking rip a verse like shit It's just making fun of drunk 3PO's book, he's like your featured guest. He's part of the fucking rip-a-verse.

Like obviously. Who gives a shit? It's just making fun of these retards. I'm just saying like, his argument that like, oh my friends are being dragged into it. Yeah I am. You dragged your friends into it. You did that. You wanted to capitalize on their YouTube fame to sell books.

I guess. I don't care. Yeah. I mean, I know you would rip on anyone regardless. Yeah, I don't give a shit. I'm saying it becomes picture. I don't care. Yeah. I mean I know you would rip on anyone regardless. Yeah, I don't give a shit. I'm saying it becomes picture. I'll make fun of you. I don't care. Fair enough. Don't deserve that. So I'm starting this segment beyond the narrative of this- Who is this guy? Who the fuck is this guy? Cuz that's not what Eric looks like. Wow, that's... Who is this gentleman?

Look at this jaw! That's Erock, man. He's been jazzer-sizing. That's a fucking black brawny man! He's been chewing on that piece of rubber. For one month of the year, he's the brawny man, right here. I gotta get that jazzer-sized so I can look like this guy. Look at this nose! Lifted straight off a statue of Caligula.

Not Eric's nose. Okay. Simple place for people to reference when the usual nonsense pops up. This isn't me going back to monetize your haters and I'm not diving back into the YouTube grind. YouTube isn't my focus anymore, so I'm not chasing content. I'm spending 20 minutes recording this,

passing it off to my editor. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Here's this retarded movie I'm making to argue with all these, because I got made fun of too much. I'm not monetizing the haters, if that's what you're thinking. No one was thinking that, because you are done with that. You've got blown out. Here's where we're at with him, he now everything he says in his mind, he's going, what will Ethan Van Sciver say about it? Yeah. And how can I get ahead of it? So he's going, he's going to accuse me of making YouTube videos again. Yeah. And

I'm not making YouTube videos. I said it in the video. Yeah. He's going to accuse me of monetizing my haters. And I'm not doing that. I specifically said in the video yeah, he's gonna accuse me of monetizing my haters, and I'm not doing that I specifically said in the video that I'm not actually I'm not making any money at all I'm just doing this to get made fun of more I mean this is a guy making YouTube video telling me oh, but you know I don't make YouTube videos I go well. This is YouTube video. Why well it kind of isn't really a YouTube video though Why don't you make YouTube videos do whatever you want? That's how you advertise comics. I mean, that makes sense to me. Why wouldn't you make YouTube videos

about your fucking comics and talk about the stories and how awesome they are? Because he's too busy making animation or something. Making Gabriel and the Gooners. Oh God. ...team and getting right back to work. He said, I'm spending 20 minutes recording this, passing it off to my editorial team and getting right back to work. He even, I'm spending 20 minutes recording this, passing it off to my editorial team,

and getting right back to work. These- Even already had like preloads the cope of, why did you waste all this time on this retarded video? I didn't. I didn't. It's 20 minutes. I just, it was 20 minutes of voiceover. So you mean you just off the cuff?

Off the cuff? You spoke for 30 minutes straight? You didn't write anything down or, okay. You speed read? You talked like the mic I think you took time to write something man You mean you didn't read this in advance at all you just sat down and in and in less time than the video is You read so you this is slowed down. This is off the cuff. We all know Eric's public speaking whenever we hear him speak

He would never go. Oh The thing is about a... He pronounces every word impicably. 20 minutes just took him. He just farted it out. For a 30 minute video. It's easy. He sat there and read it.

No second take. Editorial team, 100%, came in, banged it out. No amount of work went into this at all. Dude, he's been making this video. I know something about Surgs and their documentaries. Yeah. He's been doing this since the trial started. He's been creating, he's been crafting this video since Riley's trial started.

Or trial like talk of the trial started. Segments are here so that fans and really anyone who supports what we're doing have a central place to point to when someone brings up a- What the fuck is this? Your editor sucks, dude. You couldn't animate the hand sliding in or anything, you just- Beyond the narrative. So the idea is next time,

the next time you say Eric got a guy arrested, you can link to this, Sturgis can link to this. This is for Sturgis to link to people you know Really anyone who supports what we're doing have a central place to point to when someone brings up one of these Whether you want to reference it share it or just What is this mobile gigolo lady is gonna pull it up on the narrative What if this beyond the narrative. Is there a vertical version of the video where you appear like that?

What is this? Why is he so obsessed with looking tough like that? Like he's like, it's like in the Venture Brothers, whenever Rusty pictures Jonas Venture, that's what he looks like. He's always like strapping and standing up tall. None of us look like that. Nobody looks like. He's always strapping and standing up tall. None of us look like that. Nobody looks like that.

It's this weird thing where Eric doesn't understand the space he's in, where you never read a Spawn comic book and went, oh, I bet Todd McFarlane is fucking jacked. Yeah. You're like, no, he's probably a scrawny little Canadian guy. And you're like, yeah, he is. That's fun. Yeah, and he talks about the story.

Honestly, the coolest part of comic books, I mean, I guess, what's his name was Jacked. Fucking Kirby was Jacked. He's an army guy. But most of the time he's just like, ah, it's just a bunch of little guys. Half of them were Jews, just running around talking about the characters doing stuff. Some guys were, what do you call it? A store store the guy with the whatever that the facts it's all right here So let's get into the first issue I can't get over this caricature of him. He's the most tough guy Do you think he puts like this on as a bodysuit and has sex with his wife?

Like he's like I want to be super Eric tonight. She's like no Eric I've had enough of super Eric and he goes like too bad and he puts on this Costume and like one of those weird distorted sock masks over his head so he can look like this I've just never had the fantasy of being like a giant fucking jacked version of myself I'd go. Oh, that's silly. Please don't draw me like that There's a lot of fake information floating around about the weirdo who got arrested outside of our meetup So in this video we're going to break down some of those oh my god He's using Keno Casino as a public source.

and then posted a wall of text review Wait wait wait wait you missed the part about me So in this video we're going to break down some of those myths a youtuber who I wasn't even familiar with called my operation A scam and then Posted a wall of text review still that's me I'm a you choose right through that a Youtuber who I didn't even know why would you why would you I got breaking beyond the narrative or whatever the fuck? Why don't you use someone's name?

Obfuscate the fucking thing just say here's who it is and here's why. A YouTuber. Yeah. A wall of text. Well now it seems like you're fucking obfuscating the fucking point. Like now it just sounds like you're lying. If you ask me, hey what happened with that guy who came to your house? You go, ah, you know, he's just some guy. I'd go, oh, it kind of sounds like there's more there.

Yeah. Because that's a thing that happened. Still in my content phase, I addressed that wall of text in a video the review was clearly bogus and I broke down exactly Eric That wall of text is called paragraphs. Yeah Sometimes walls of texts are assembled and bound together and that's called a book I'm sure that at Texas A&M or whatever a gangster track scholarship school You got into so white people could do well at sports. Yeah, I don't know if you had to encounter many of those Walls of text books that I'm describing, but it's I've never in my life heard an essay

Spoken about pejoratively because of its length, because of the structure of the essay. You know what I hate that he never addresses is that this is not your review that he read. This is your notes for the review. Oh, he didn't even read the review? No, we did a video review. That was your review.

These were the notes that you went through. But remember- No, I wrote paragraphs. Yeah, but like a lot, wasn't this like stream of consciousness of some stuff were like questions that were answered later? Yeah, the notes at the beginning, yeah. Yeah, yeah, so like some of the stuff-

He didn't read the paragraphs at the end? But that's what I'm saying is like, some of the stuff he addresses where he goes, oh, he doesn't even know what happened. It's like, well, yeah, cause that's what, just what you were writing down while you were reading it, right? Half of it, yeah. Yeah.

And then there's a review. Right. That's also not a wall of text. A wall of text is unbroken. No, actually, he picked the wrong place to put it. There's not that much stuff there. Why? We focused on what was said, not who said it. It was pretty even-killed and basic.

This is why I never even mentioned where it had come from. This sparked a whole- This is why I had not even mentioned where it had come from. This sparked a whole- Hahahaha! This is why I had not even mentioned where it had came from. This coping is like- Because his response was so even-killed that he didn't even feel the need to respond. This is why I had not even two heads. That's how far away he's gotta get from those words.

No, I did spend time referring to the man as Buster Bagg. He made like six videos about it. He never responded to you in any way and it's like he kept calling him names. You called me n-word. Yeah, that's right That's right. Yeah, but remember he's I wasn't even really a thing. I barely even talked to this guy I don't even know who it is You knew him so intimately that you called me n-word Eric Conversation about good a lot of people you don't know the n-word like you don't even know Maybe in that culture, but not not Eric. You call a lot of people you don't know the N word? Like you don't even know you say it? He's calling me down. Maybe in that culture, but not with animosity.

Wow. What are these clips? Who are these guys? I don't know. Is this like a gay thing? The stock video is fascinating to me. What is this? These are the haters? I don't know. Is this like a gay thing? The stock video is fascinating to me. What is this? These are the haters, I guess, discussing the review.

Is that me and you? Well- I'm focusing on whether or not the review itself was legitimate. Some people try to twist the narrative acting as if I was- Who are these guys? Are they twisting the narrative? Are these narrative twisters? This is fascinating.

What is this? This is like, this is an editor not knowing what the fuck to put over the voiceover and being like, well maybe just two guys. Two guys working at their brewery. Yeah, two guys with beers or... Is that supposed to be Ethan and Skybr? I don't know. ...stacking all criticism, but that was never the point. The focus was on the veracity of what was being said. If a review is filled with false things or made up nonsense, why would anyone take it seriously? It's like if someone told you the sky is green and gravity doesn't exist,

you wouldn't sit there debating it like it's a valid opinion. You just dismiss- No, stop. Classic fallacy. You can actively define whether the sky is blue or not. Okay? Gravity exists.

The point of art is that art can be critiqued, okay? And it is a subjective metric. So yeah, it's possible to disagree with a subjective critique, but you can't disagree about whether or not gravity exists because it's a provable fact. Miss it because it's subjectively false. Same thing here, if something is clearly untrue,

why would anyone take it to heart? If you're wondering where one of the biggest things- Heck, your comics suck! What was untrue about your review? Nothing. The comic sucks. Yeah, that was the review. You can't say it was subjectively incorrect. Oh my god, this is- you're right, we gotta save- we gotta do a whole comics episode about this. Dude, we're two minutes in, so I think we gotta save- at least we know you got mentioned.

Oh man! I'm sorry I didn't say it, there's also a fat pedophile that I don't want to talk about. Ah, it's me. Look at all this shit, dude. This is fucked. It's the whole thing. It's the whole... really a bonus episode. I guess we should pay wall this.

Oh my god, this air is nutshot. We're gonna have to devote two hours to it. It's too much. You're right. You're right. You're right You're right. You're right. You're right the biggest episode the biggest problem and beyond the narrative number one Was a gift for some fucking reason Cuz now everyone's like do you want everyone to just endlessly time like yeah, I guess It's cuz you guys you know was affecting my friends, and you know now when Pete the haters come in I like that he said in front of my millionaire friend who gives a shit

I like that he said he's got people defending him, but none of the big accounts And he's like how come like you know oh my yeah, yeah, yeah, he's like how come no big guys For me no he said that when we were watching it. Oh he did yeah Oh shit, he said do I have my defenders not guys... Well don't spoil it for me! No, he said that when we were watching it! Oh, he did? Yeah! Oh, shit. He said, do I have my defenders? Not a lot of big accounts have stepped in to set the record straight. I guess he was waiting.

He was waiting for someone to make this for him. Well, yeah, the quartering and Nick Riketa. Yeah. I mean, he was sucking... The quartering made a total ass of himself even defending Eric mildly Like that's why Eric lied about How he's gonna sue us yeah, and then it's our fault he got sued he wanted them to all make videos, but I Mean I think we all know

They're like I think I might be lying most upset about from that whole thing was that when he posted that video about me and you There was a comment from yellow flash that said we should crowdfund a lawsuit against those guys He's retired and Eric said something like well, we're gonna look into that. Yeah, and I'm like, oh man I really wish I still I had screen shot of that cuz I don't know if he deleted it or what when he realized he Obviously said it fucking bullshit. Yeah. Dude, there were so many guys when that fucking video came out. You remember I was freaking out because you're like, who gives a shit? I'm like, who gives a shit?

I'm going to attack all of them actually and make fun of all of them. Even the ones who regret it. Especially them. It was just crazy to know that Eric was lying and then have all his fucking YouTube buddies going, yeah, we got to sue Vito into the dirt. I want to take him for everything he's worth. I hope that fucking fat pig dies or whatever else. I'm like, oh my God. And now they're all backing pedophiles. The quartering is out there backing Andrew Tate, who's an admitted human trafficker,

like the textbook definition human trafficking and bragging about fucking a 15 year old and The quarterings deep-throating him like guys. It's innocent till proven guilty again court Idiot not all of us know this guy's a fucking guy. You should have brought that in as a problem because that is a problem Ooh, this is so- He said he fucking sex trafficked a 14 year old They're they're fucking weird people man a 14 year old. They're fucking weird people man A lot of these streamers are really weird. They're really innocent until proven guilty, but veto is a pedophile Okay

Cool, man Man, I really wish remember like null saying oh well They're gonna lose everything Eric July is gonna take me cleaners dick's gonna finally learn what it means to Find out no I know and all those guys now get to pretend like oh well You know I didn't really say stuff like they should be like permanently embarrassed people don't care. I know there's a yeah I like hearing that dude Shadiversity wrote like five paragraphs about what a shit bag I am and how I'm the worst person ever and you can't wait for Eric to like fucking sue me and I'm like

Hey, man, well how'd that work? And how I'm the worst person ever and you can't wait for Eric to like fucking sue me and I'm like hey man Well how that work out? Shadiversity can Shadiversity fuck his wife without wanting to throw up because he's clearly AI-ing her Specifically into things that he's attracted to yeah He's got some problems so is he like is he like I want I want to know if he can even get hard When he's fucking his wife who's obviously not supergirl and does not look like that. No, probably not a Lot of interesting characters out there man. They're all pieces of shit. I know it's like crazy How terrible there are fucking people it's like

They're not redeemable at all. No, they should they should get made fun of even worse much much much worse Yes, I agree Yeah, they deserve to be ridiculed and then when you ridicule them They cry about send you to jail and they make a documentary about why it's okay. Actually, this is libertarian actually Ligandis nuts does a good one. J. Rob J. Rob Ireland for five cheers boys. Thank you black crimson for five Thanks for the snacks and the thing you're not killing yourself. You're welcome case man for five Would it be so terrible if Vito went back to doing a good music for the show? Or does he need to do an even worse job every episode or does he need it?

You mean over the intro you want me to growl more? I think he's talking about the voted ups I don't know if that's what he means right out for five veto. Do you like imagine dragons? Right imagine dragons these nuts across your face! Yeah, you gotta wait for somebody else to get in between. That's more effective. Oh, okay. No, him. LJCloburino for two, hey, Vito, remember when Dick did that thing?

Not cool. Not cool. As my five, Vito, do you shower? If so, how? Is power washer needed and what kind of degreaser do you use? I'm a bath boy. I love the bath. I don't.

From there too, can't wait to hear stories about Uncle Vito I'm never gonna see that kid and that's probably for the best. Lost Bullets for five Canadian. Hey Vito, I got a box of 530 Magic cards. I'm looking offload for cheap make me an offer for these. For two he says for these nuts. That was terrible. That was bad. JJ for five, bunnies in the chat, Blas Bullets for five, try not to cum game. Sounds like the instill version of that E-bomb flash game back in the game day called Ass Hunter. I never played that one. I did play-

It's gotta be VR though. Tim Stamper's Street Life. What's that? That was one of the top Newgrounds games at the time where you just, it was like a choose your own adventure that really only had two paths, But back then it was like, that was enough to be the top Newgrounds game. And I remember that.

The paths being a street life. One of them was fucking a, one of them was shooting a guy in an alley and the other one was fucking a hooker. And if you fuck the hooker, you could turn on the TV and that was the first time I ever saw a hentai. Oh, what was it? It was a, actually it was a still of a cat girl

getting banged from behind. And I always remembered that animated GIF. Yeah. And I only found out what it's from and like years later, it's from this very rare Sega Saturn game that I ordered. And then I think the seller on eBay realized it got too good a deal. Cause he listed it for like half of what it normally sells

for. So he sent me a Bomberman multi-tap. And then I went on eBay and went, Hey, where's Okay. So he sent me a Bomberman multi-tap. Oh. And then I went on eBay and went, hey, where's the fucking game? He sent me a Bomberman multi-tap. He said, oh, don't worry about it. Just keep it.

And I'm like, I want the game with the cat girl getting bang in the ass. Yeah. Yeah. And then he stopped answering my messages. I got wrecked. Captain Insano. Captain Insano for 10 got me a Christian woman

who likes to gamble and takes care of me using your dating advice. Congratulations. Unless you meant Vito, in which case, congratulations. SlurkeRespector for five. I rewatched Vito's Boba Fett video and I was hit with a super killer ad, uploaded July 2022. It's been three years of nonstop shilling, released the comic.

Dick Pienaisecki. That was an ad for the mailing list, not for, you know, just to get on the mailing list. Bad Faith Criticism, AK Tank for 2095 for two, let's watch it. Jack Rockstar for five, nothing, thank you. SS Jackin for five, please no fighting today, my parasocial attachment can't handle it. Captain Insano for five, some kind of a bird sticker, thank you. Jack Rockstar for five, nothing. Hunter Hartman for five, that's nothing. Are you guys posting racist stuff and it's getting blocked or what MC lightsaber for two justice for Riley

SS Jack in for five attachment to these knots. Oh, that was a good. I was a long one Can't handle it. Good job. Dominic It's not even a fucking pun. It's the distance distance is nice. See Villa for five y'all Dominic that was that good. It's not even a fucking fun. It's the distance. The distance is nice See Villa for five y'all Dominic for two. This is extortion See Villa for five y'all should comment Sorry under the vid with the biggest problem YouTube channel lost bullets for five will super killer released before the Cowboys win the Super Bowl Discuss very soon mulachi constant for ten play me some jibba jabba Sam Walter five lying and implying corrupted mode for five watch it watch it Kaden Swiss for five thank you MC lightsaber five messed up this is for the

goal. Sugadeez for two get creative with it called him a little faggola lost bullets for five Russian did band displaying alphadit crew propaganda to kindergartners much to Vito's chrin. And he adds an N for another five. Oofus Fugus for two, how much to get Johnny on? Johnny should come on. Excuse me, I think we're gonna have, we might have Chrissy Mare or does. Oh yeah.

Trying to work around her schedule. Doc Nick for five, Hippity. Jared for five, I get really annoyed when I get a notification from this channel. To realize it's just a dumb clip, which I don't care about. Deal with it. Sorry. T'Arnie for five, dropping you a teal as Riley's arrest was completely unreal.

Completely unreal. Yeah, it was. Austin for five, gouging, overcharging, highway robbery, fleecing, swindling, defrauding, shakedown, chicanery, flim flam, swizzle. Fidel Cash flow for five, bunnies in the chat. MC Lightsaber for five, bunnies in the chat MC lightsaber five bunnies in the chat bunnies rise up Dean shock for two. Thanks for the laughs boys Austin for five says poor just I've been for five

He does brother will have a comic out before super killer releases That is my half brother and he probably does have a great comic not Mothman for five I tried to bunny purse post during Eric's premiere, but I was incident. Yeah, they're all over it now Captain and Santa for five I attempted stand-up comedy and had a dystonia accident while it was happening So I changed my set and they called the paramedics really is that recorded? I don't know what a dystonia episode I don't at all oof is fugus for two You know did sabotage those youtubers for Alex Jones. That's a matter of debate Jim Jim tells you five, stop acting like you don't want this, Vito. Oh, I don't want it at all.

Ride dog for five, watch the fucking video. JTF for five, Vito Dickens made a fortune from Maddox's documentary, Why Would You Ever Want Eric to Slow Down on His. It's just overwhelming the amount of stupidity packed. We made it two seconds in. You got to get over it and learn to embrace it. There's two minutes of video. The amount of stock footage that has already appeared.

Yeah, that's good. I want a graph. Jack Rockstar for five, thank you. Doc Nick for five, gibbity. Matt C for five, biggest problems above ground, power lines thanks to the cyclone. I've got no power for what could be days. Oh, that sucks. That does suck.

What cyclone? I have no idea. I don't know where a cyclone's happening. Jack Rockstar for five. Probably a K-Joke. It. What's cyclone? I have no idea. I don't know where cyclone's happening. Jack Rocks for five. Probably a K-Joke. It's gonna be cyclone these nuts. Cyclone on these nuts would be good. Thank you.

Well, Jack Rocks, our loss of both is five. If you broke nibbas, don't super chat. That means you a slang term for a cigarette in the UK. Jack for another five. Thank you. Man Ray for five, one. Dominic for five. Esslers.

Man Ray for five, two. The Jerry and Coke for five. Bigic for five. Esslers man Ray for five two. The Jerry Coke for five biggest problem is mud season. If you live on a dirt road, love you dick and Viet's dirt roads. That's fun season. And that's when it gets wet, gets rainy, loss of bullets for five. What's your favorite word and why it starts with an N and it's niceties. Austin for five eternally gay. If you don't watch it.

JJ for five, you set a timer on the goal. Well yeah, you gotta get him in there. Yeah, you gotta get a, it's defaulted to that. I don't do it. Jared for 20, you guys are getting a whole bonus episode of it now. Congratulations. Yeah, you're welcome. This is a bonus.

Jared for 20, RIPA send me to the grave. Matt C for five, you put a timer on the goal so it's gonna end in 3 minutes lol great work stop complaining that means you need the superjack quicker ideal mexican for 50 says Yarrick be pirate in time

man Ray for 5 says 3 Lostbolts for 5 Richard how much for Ds I think I know where that's going and then he said tariffs! Buh buh buh buh buh buh. Hunter Hartman for five and nothing thank you. Oh these were all to see the video. I think so. Well we did it. You guys did the goal that should be enough that achieving a goal is a reward. Yeah we don't even need to make an episode of this one. Last bullets for five tariffs. MC lightsaber for five victory lap, Gabe tech 4,000 for three,

digger Nick the nerdy digger, and Erexac pixel for five. When I don't edit a video for my YouTube channel, I think back to Dick yelling at Vito to do the Twitter videos. Yeah, that's good motivation. So I was two guys fighting over a Pokemon card vending machine.

Dude, I wished that a Muslim truck would run through the front of that store I was thinking I was thinking I need a black guy to help me dub that one I'll be the white guy I go I need all them fucking jigglypuffs get the fuck out of here yeah another guy that would be a good one last bullets for five dick had a paper and pager until it exploded on him jazz fan 22 for five love you guys please get Sean on the show again I hope he's doing well I don again. I hope he's doing well I don't know. I hope he's doing well, too. I think he is you age for a hundred one hundred Canadian dollars

50 bucks here monopoly money is probably worth more now Watch that gibber jabber nonsense, please we watch some of it. We're gonna watch it We just can't be here for three hours. Vito's right. All guys know breakfast at five. I bet Vito lost his first five rough drafts of Superkiller in the Wash. It's the only explanation at this point.

Ride dog for five Trump. A, fuck cancer. Biden never wrote a song against cancer, possibly pro cancer. Yeah, he didn't fix it. High as a kite for five euros. Vito's new movie reviews of Banger, which he would have the same energy to make in his comics, but we all know it's a scam at this point I'm glad everyone's accepted that fact so surgery for five magic kid knocks at your door telling you he works for the government

But when he opens his wallet to show you his badge it Chuck secret dicks in my ass Imagine that rex sex of two please clap Steven Tuttle for five one when he just say your names as a pride thing because it does make him seem very gay. I don't know. Maddox did the same thing. I think that- Man boy. I think that they,

I think they're afraid to say it. Well, they're afraid that people will want to go find your channel, but I think honestly- No, I think they're afraid to say it because it makes them feel shame and humiliation, so they don't want to vocalize it. They don't even want to face it in their minds. A Mexican pirate made fun of my comic book,

and I lost my fucking mind. And I lost it. Stratergery for five, it's because Eric says he monetizes his haters, but look at these 50 teal chats. The true comedy is the monetization is going to... He has made us a lot of money. That has been nice. Well, let's see with the bonus episode. Derek says he monetizes his haters, but look at these 50 teal chats. The true comedy is the monetization is going to... He has made us a lot of money. That has been nice.

Well, let's see with the bonus episode. Brainiac for five. Does Vito not know Cancer Kid went viral being mocked for wanting to be a cop? I did see that, but then I'm confused. I didn't know that. Yeah, there's a video of him dressed as a cop already and black girls were laughing at him and twerking in his face. Aw, those bitches.

I'd be like, you can't do anything. You're not a real cop. With his brain cancer, but that's what I'm saying. I'm like wait He also has cancer that guy or that kid. I guess he's kind of a little prick So why but he just goes out dressed as a cop I guess all right He's really into it like he's really into pretending to say it But if you know your dress as a cop and I think they're acting the way they would act to a normal cop. Like fucking dickholes. So if anything you're getting the cop experience from these women on the street. Do you think black women on the street go up to police officers and go, oh, well thank you sir. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Brad Roos for five, coming to LA from Maryland to watch the Caps play the Ducks than the

Kings. Any chance of getting to hang out with Vito to calm gay and fat? If you buy me dinner, we can hang out. If I got an open night. That's the Vito fan experience. We go to dinner. Man Ray for five, we're way more nuts. TBF, we're the ones who let women vote and convince everyone to import the third world.

And the liberals kind of fucked that up. Boss Hogg for $279 Canadian with a dollar sign. Thank you. Thanks. Oglovitch for five. My smart printer keeps placing yellow track dots on my manifestos and reporting me to the FBI and Mossad. Excellent problem, Vito.

Seth, Siri, what? Who could they get with that? Some child porn stuff. Oh, the Pokemon. You saw the Pokemon counterfeiting scandal? No. Oh man, you would like this. There Pokemon counterfeiting scandal? No. Oh, man. You would like this. There's a guy, he's a Japanese guy, an old Japanese guy.

Yeah. And he said, I have all these beta Pokemon cards, like from when we were first printing them out. Oh, yeah. I know. I saw that. That was so stupid. Dude, and then somebody just checked.

It says it was printed like six months ago. That was bad. Dude, that guy fucked up so bad. And they were selling them for millions of dollars. I get mailers from Heritage Auctions, who does all the like whatever. For some reason, I signed up for their mailers, even though I can't afford anything on there.

So they sent like a mailer to my house. He's like, look at these beta Pokemon cards. This beta Charizard's worth like $500,000. That's bad, man. That really looks bad for everybody in the authentication industry. The guys who authenticated, who was it? Was it CGC or Beckett?

Yeah, they completely fucked up, because they said, yeah, this is 100% authentic. And you're like, how do you know? This Japanese guy told us. Why would he lie? Why would he lie? For millions of dollars, of course. Seems so easy to catch.

I think it is a little bit of like, uh... I've said it's kind of like racist that like, for some reason, white people don't expect Asians to be capable of lying. Yeah. Even though we know the Chinese are sneaky. Okay, they'll pee-pee in your coke all day. Yeah. Uh, Sarah Garnier for ten.

I knew a Muslim who was a really chill guy who went home, and later he posts about how all the Jews shouldn't should be. Oh yeah, he didn't say that his dad would smack him with a belt. So maybe Dick is on to something. I want to say maybe but at this point it seems like everyone's posting about what they want to do to the Jews so I don't know what's going on with society. A lot of people's dads are beating them with a belt. You guys really got to calm down with the Jew hate. It's getting, no it not me. I'm not, yeah, I know. I'm saying our audience, which is full of Jew haters.

Oh. Who's that guy who went on fucking Joe Rogan? It was just like, oh, you know, the Jews did all this and the Jews rewrote the Bible and all this stuff. And it's like, the Jews wrote the Bible originally first of all. Yeah, what do you mean rewrote? So they're like, oh yeah, no, they snuck it in

to trick us into loving the Jews. And'm like that was the Bible's from the Jews The first verse was all about yeah, it's always been there or Latin. It's always been pretty pro-Jew the Bible I'm gonna say if I had to pick a document that's pro-Jew I go Bible's in the top ten Aspartame brain humor for five why even talk about super killer at this point? Remember what happened with Duke Nukem forever the longer it takes The higher expectations that's stupid keep your expectations low. It's just a fun comic hot fart dingledore for five How come you can ride on a Rye horn, but you can't ride horn and ride on you can ride on a Rye horn But you can't ride and for another five he says ride on this dick

Kevin Flesher for five. Kevin, the tempo audio engineer here. My wife is currently in labor, about to have our first watching this, getting ready for the hospital. Veto sucks. I hope your kid dies in childbirth. Depearify for 10. Oh, no.

I want your wife to die in childbirth. The kid can live and then process the trauma. Derpify for 10 Australian. Dick needs to review the EJ video for free to redeem his hissy fit last week Oh money anyway, cuz I'm addicted to Eric July. He's like the methadone substitute for Maddox heroin now He's finally totally dead. Well, we'll do it in the bonus episode Maddox does seem dead. So now he's coming back coming back more The always comes more on just make these dumb videos for the rest of their lives

Tbf for two here's to the college fund. Thanks. Eddie A for five, as much as Masjid and Trash's marriage, I knew he'd have a kid marry 80s girl. Eventually, back when the lawsuit happened, I hope the baby is female. It's male. Did you confirm? It's a boy.

Yeah. But you shouldn't assign gender. Let's be clear. You should let the kid decide. Right. Your kid's going to be trans. They all are. Unless Trump really puts a stop to it. All you have to do is let people use the F slur again and it's over. There's no more trans stuff.

That's it. It could happen. Rack section for two. Your breath reeks if you eat eggs for every meal. Interesting fact. Emperor P for ten. Hey Dick, I sent you a song about H1B via email not sure if it's appropriate for Biggs Prom but would love to hear your thoughts. Alrighty. I want to mention Malort and Savior have a new song out check out their YouTube channel I know they wanted us to promote it and I forgot the link but look up Malort and Savior maybe we'll play it on a future episode. Hack the Movies for Five why didn't Vito review Captain America with Manny Muskets? Because I made a video essay. It's not because I'm... Wait, what is he, why would you have done that

with Manny Muskets? Somehow it came up, I was like, I wanna review Captain America, and for some reason, I don't know if I said I wanna review it with somebody else? No, I don't think I said that. I don't know what happened. Billy is black, is that the joke? I guess, like Manny, no, he sent me a DM,

he's like, hey, if want to review that Cab American movie together Oh, I know I decided to do like a like a video thing with it It's not cuz I don't want to talk to a black guy Okay, yeah, I just didn't think I just wanted to do the video essay form don't explain yourself to act Tony from hacked the movies Well Tony Frank the movies better be getting our episode together. We got a hack the moviesies episode coming up. Oh yeah. And we're like, we can spoil it, it's fucking uh, Judge Dredd. Uh, Utah-based Armenian for five. Coming soon. Hey Vito, sorry about your video bombing. You should ask Mint Salad for advice on how to get views. Well, maybe I should. Hunter88 for five. I know how to get views! You just not to no at this point the algorithms kind of fucky. You know

Not every video not every lot of shit that was kicked off because of the Because of what you don't know how to get views Well, I just said I mean like yeah there well I mean I'm gonna say here's the difference, but it doesn't look like it looks like an uncrackable mystery for everybody Well, let's put it this way. I made one video in a year on my channel Okay, I think the difference is when you're making a video every single day and getting no results I think that's the point where you go. Okay. Well now something's drastically wrong. You know No I think that's the point where you go. Okay. Well now something's drastically wrong, you know No No

Every single day and you just get no views you go man. I really got to switch something up. Yeah No, no what I see is Somebody Telling somebody else how to get views, right? So does that person telling the so does a person giving advice getting views? Yeah, well are they getting him today? No, okay? That's all I see I don't see any kind of reciprocity all I see is this is how you do it and me saying well What are you doing it? No, but okay? Okay, but historically if you said who is better at getting YouTube views you would say

Clearly the past. Yeah, who's better getting YouTube is For five I'm clearly better getting YouTube views now. It's got more views than The stuff they've been doing forever. I Don't know about that. It got like 8k views. 8,000 views. Yeah, for coming back after not making a video for a while. I guess we'll see, I don't know. All I see is if you're telling somebody what to do, you better demonstrate that you do it.

Not every video is gonna hit. And uh... Look, obviously it's a crapshoot. Or else it's gonna like start a fight. I can't control how many views a video gets, right? But that was your premise, is that you can. You can definitely influence it, yeah. I've been able to influence it in the past by, you know, using a smart combination of

titles and keywords and content and whatever else. I think you know what you're doing. I mean, it's just funny that that happened. I think sometimes a video's not gonna land, man. And like I said, this is why I have it. Honestly, right now, the YouTube stuff is just for the Patreon supporters. Oh, okay. It's really, I don't expect it to pick up in the algorithm. Oh, well that's good.

Yeah, I think, well the YouTube algorithm is, yeah, I think it's a lot different now. I just saw so many texts about this. You saw so many texts, you know, so many group chats of oh about I don't know what you're doing. You're fucking dumb Well, I saw you should have listened to me me and Andy are geniuses at this Well, I mean if you want to look at Andy's channel Andy's getting plenty of views. Andy's actually in LA Oh, yeah, yeah, I should have met up with him. Ah, yeah, you should have maybe we got him Maybe we meet him up with him tomorrow. He's a he's filming a documentary about I don't know I say Guess oh no, it's a I think it's a current celebrity drama

Oh secret or not. Is it about Blake Lively? It might be obviously about that potentially be about Blake Lively, but I don't actually... I think it's about Blake Lively. I don't know. But how would you do a documentary? So I don't know. You just talk to anybody and then people watch it's like, oh, this is gonna be some juicy stuff. Andy Signore is really moving into the documentary game. So... That's cool. I think he's also, he's part of a Michael Jackson documentary and I think he's making a... Or might be making a Johnny Depp documentary. Hunter88 for five, Sweet Child of Mine

is a good long intro. See, I was gonna say Sweet Child of Mine, I couldn't remember if it actually has a long intro or if I'm misremembering it. I can't remember it. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do. No wait, is that when the song kicks off? Ba na na na na, ba na na na na, No wait, is that when the song kicks off? You don't know Sweet Child of Mine?

I don't know what you're doing. She got spanked and it changed to be. Yeah, yeah, that. Yeah, I do. What were you singing? The intro. Oh, the music part? The guitar part?

That I don't know. Maybe that's the middle part. I'm more of like a, I remember like melodies. And the like that. The, not that. Not that. No. Pizarre gaming guides.

Is Vito invited to the wedding? No. Ariel for five. Vito, let me clean your apartment. There you go. You concern me. Ariel does want to clean my apartment Whoa, whoa, what is this a picture of Ariel?

She's a regular lady. She's a Whoa, hot mama hot mama. Where do you have to clean your apartment? We're gonna come down what's the point of cleaning my apartment if she's coming over to clean the apartment This woman see your apartment this state that it's in it's fine I gotta clean I actually I have to I need boxes for all the magic cards that are everywhere Coming over to clean the apartment. You gonna let this woman see your apartment in the state that it's in? That's fine. I actually have to, I need boxes for all the magic cards that are everywhere. I keep going to Franketson's, the guy who sells magic card fucking cardboard boxes is closed. Oh. The big shoe ones?

Yeah, I need just shoe boxes. Can't you just order them off Amazon? Yeah, I know, but that guy has them cheaper and I keep going out. How much cheaper? It's not that it's cheaper, it's not so I need a bunch of them in your that reason Okay, I ordered over from Amazon and they're the wrong size, and I don't think they saw magic cards Yeah, they had boy they jumbo size the bear for the top. They were for a graded cards. I ordered boxes I was that the fit graded cards. They're way too big

This is all the order more so you fucked so that's a loss well I want a bunch of slab boxes. I didn't buy that many of So order more! So that's a loss. You ordered a bunch of slab boxes. I didn't buy that many of them, but yeah they are a loss. Okay. How much money could you save if you just bought them on Amazon? The problem is I can't find them on Amazon, honestly. Really? What are they? Magic card, cardboard box? Yeah. Magic card, cardboard box, and how many do these

How many do they hold? How many do they hold? 800 I think? 800? Maybe 1600, I don't remember. 800 size, like this? Yeah. You got it at T-MU right there. There's an Amazon special order, there you go.

Okay, BCW 800, like this? Yeah. That's it, that's all you need? Maybe I can get them on Amazon. Those little single shoe boxes? I don't know why I can never find them when I look for them. 13 bucks? How much money are you going to save by driving out to the city of industry?

I like the city of industry. How much are you going to save, though? It's not about the money, honestly. Oh, it's not about savings. It's not about the money. What's it about? Honestly, it's just that every time I try to get them from Amazon, I either got the wrong ones

or I had to buy them in a pack of 20. But I guess I can just get these. How many of these do you need? Maybe six of them, I don't know. You need six boxes or do you need six orders? Well, I need some double row ones also. Oh, you need double rows. So you don't need these at all?

No, I need some single, see that's the thing. They have a bunch of different boxes at that guy. So I can get a couple single rows, I can get a couple double rows, I can get some penny sleeves. Right there, look, I see this. The double row, this is. No, that's not a double row, that's five row. And then I bought the double row and it was sized for fucking credit cards.

The one with the lid. The one with the lid. Okay, that's the 1600 count box then. All right. 1600 count, 1600 count, magic, card, board box. I got the wrong one and then I said, oh, I fucked it up. I might as well just go to fucking whatever and get it.

And then I didn't end up doing it. And then what happened? And then I went and they didn't have it. So then I should have went home and just ordered it that day. But I said, no, I'll come back next week and they'll be over. Look at this beautiful bastard. Honestly, I did want to see. I don't know why I can't get like a locking that seems. don't know about that, but I was trying to see it's like shit

Looks like a syndrome China's making all these nice like leather deck boxes now I did buy one of those that holds a two commander decks, which is nice Yeah, they actually have one that holds like four commander decks Speaking of commander. Yeah, but we might be we might be doing commander games. We're talking about it. I Think I can reveal who we're talking to. Taylor and Billy? I don't know if Taylor seems so psyched on it though. Taylor is not that psyched on it,

but it's Taylor from PKA, so we're gonna force him to do it because it will get us views and attention. Because that's how branding works. It's not how you make friends with people. I don't care. Well, they won't do your, they don't need to give up a Saturday. I'm a free fucking commander day. That's not he likes magic. I

Said Taylor you play magic says I haven't played in a while I go you want to play commander He goes I've never played commander. I'm gonna deck I go. I'll send you a deck and he goes. All right, let's do it Did he say that? Yeah. Yeah, I talked to him in DM's. He likes he likes me likes Billy the fridge Okay, go fucking do a commander game and talked to him in DMs. He likes you, he likes me, he likes Billy the Fridge. Okay. He'll fucking do a commander game. It'd be also Taylor's fun and he's funny. It'd be funny.

You gotta put some stakes on him. It's more than he's a funny guy. And we need funny guys to do it. Most guys who play Magic are not funny. He's gotta bring back his racist accents though. I think now's the time. He used to do those all the time. Well, Trump's in office, You can do whatever you want.

God, have you seen that guy who's just uploading videos of the Asian mayor of Toronto? No. He's like a comedian and he's just going, Oh, Rook at the Ribrary! Show me the book in the Ribrary! And I'm like, oh my God, we're really back at this? I'm like, this dude's like on tour! And you're like, oh!

Anthony Cooley is on fucking ABC radio. Did you see that? Yes. It's crazy. I saw WABC radio, their official account. And it's Anthony Cunha. Tweeting out Anthony Cunha. It's him doing a video.

Hey, I'm back, guys. And I can't wait to. I'm like, what? What the? Are you kidding me? Who is this guy? Actually? Yes, actually. Hey, guys. It's Anthony Cunha. Hey, guys. I'm going to be joining you in the mornings on WKRA. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH hkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkj Twilight Zone I have to say it in my head every time racism is back in a big way It's crazy. I couldn't believe like wow you he just totally cleaned up. I was watching this comedian I'm like how is this video on Facebook?

He's just going on the library. We've got so many books So many books in the library. We got catcher in the lie We got a heli parlorr I'm like oh my god Viral people were dying. I'm like This is a fucking red man, I gotta I gotta do so much like D programming to get back to that state It's it's it's a revolution Wow, we're to see Blackface again. I just wish Rumble wasn't so lousy with pedophiles.

I know. And if it worked. They keep hiring him for some reason. That would be great. I don't know why. Gloom is dead for two in Soviet America. Editor pays you. There you go.

We've got a couple more Super Chats here. Got a lot more super chats here. Jesus Christ. Serser for five. Kids can get all the gambling ads to people like Vito who get all the toys ads. Oglevich for five. Regarding the last episode,

it sucks we got nothing from the Epstein files. Pam Bondi is no stranger to controversy. Look into her record, would have let that. She's a woman. Why do you have a woman running the FBI? Well, she's not but what is she doing? What is her job? It's like helping Trump out But she's still a woman the Kraken was gonna expose all the fucking voters. Just an idiot. They're all women. They're all idiots. Stop Responsibilities. I agree with you

and I agree with you that she's a Treacherous treacherous whore. Okay, Chris for five, I don't have Patreon but I paid money for the video. Well you better pay for the fucking Patreon then man! You got fucking five bucks to complain about it! You got five bucks for Patreon! Get the fuck out of here Kaykris! This is dick saying this. Get your fucking act together!

Fucking pay to cry about it and try to guilt and manipulate us. He did pay five dollars Charge that back k-chris you paid five dollars that shit back or you're gonna be blacked on Acovich for two how you fucking six get ocklevich to give you six bucks then It's not that much money. You got a nice day. You got you got honestly You got 30 minutes of Eric July out of us Out of a two minutes we turn in a birdie. You're gonna get an hour of part one. You're gonna get hours. Ogilvich for two. Hell you might as well just look a Bondi's nuts. Cameron for two. What was the Dono goal for?

Nothing. Ignored. The Dono goal was for a little bit. I didn't say how much. A little taste. I said we're gonna watch it you gotta fuckin taste I was in for two refund my earlier super chats please or charge back no refund he's nuts retail Roberto for five no Epstein files no super killer no Eric Cope documentary you guys are crying about all the screaming yesterday night I didn't vote for this hey we should always tease content and then pull it away cuz then we get super chats complaining about pulling it away that's not pulled super chats complaining about pulling it away.

It's not pulled away. You guys can go watch that again. Go watch the whole thing! Watch the little preview you got again. It's not a big deal. TR&E for five. Scamming your audience is the biggest problem in the universe. This is some Eric July behavior. You got it. You got it. Clap Trap for five. Can't believe we got conned. Why don't you use a real currency?

Yeah, get out of here. Jack Rock, can't believe we got conned out of the Cope video. Jack Rockstar for two, Vito if you stream after this I'm gonna charge back. There will be no stream tonight, I gotta go to bed. Dominic for five, this is fucking awesome. LMFAO. Dignity and Post for five, woo there is no Eric July Beyond inspired merch at the updated Clipiverse page. Like Doxing spelled wrong and Deranged Stalker. Clipiverse merch now available. What is the URL to the Clipiverse page. Like doxing spelled wrong and deranged stalker.

Clipiverse merch now available. What is the URL to the Clipiverse page? I don't know. Put it into Google, Clipiverse. Yeah. Dickington Post for two. Even Eric's avatar has hidden his arm hair in fear. Stratergy for two.

What the fuck is up with that cartoon of yourself? In every single frame. Here's what I'm gonna say is, I think the worst part is, that's probably how the guy who drew it views him. Eric? Yeah, I think that all the guys who work for Eric are like, you should meet my boss.

He's like the most inspirational black man you've ever met in your life. And he's so strong and talented and good at business. He barely ever fucks up. He barely ever fucks up. And I know he's with his wife now, but I see the way he is with Jen Soska. And I think that they would be so cute together.

And I just hope it happens. Stratergery for two says wrong, dicks. Wall of Texas called a log line. Oglevich for two, gravity exists. You can gravity's nuts. Gravity's nuts, good one. Ozzen for five, why charge us for something and not provide what kind, oh you got it.

You got it. Clip Sama for two, lol, even Maddox could get 100k views on his dog, yeah it is at 4k views right now. I don't think it's going anywhere. You know what I noticed though, you know what I noticed? Okay here, I noticed this when I was playing it. I don't think this is gonna get views for him. This is two minutes, okay.

So if you go to his channel, right? And then you go to videos, he already uploaded something, so he can claim that that's why it did poorly. Like he already shoveled it off the very top spot out of embarrassment. His second video is already something about fucking Harry Potter, yeah.

Yeah. Isn't that funny? I thought he said he's not making YouTube videos and he's already got a video about what he's got And whatever this guy makes no sense. He's just a fucking liar Everything he says makes no sense Yes Cameron for two. This is a dollar on a string. I'm charging back. Shut up. I come buckets are five My favorite quote from the video is when Eric said,

disingenuousness at 26.45. We got to wait 26 minutes to get that, Jim. Dave Davidson for 10. I hate waiting. Well, tomorrow we'll try to record that bonus episode. Dave Davidson for 10. I'm a chicken farmer. I have no problem losing meat birds,

as long as I can gain eggers. Well, Ogletown for two. I don't think you're a chicken farmer. No, I don't eggers. Well, Oglethcher 2. I don't think you're a chicken farmer. No, I don't think so. Bro Israel podcast, we give money and we get nothing. Exactly, there's a theme there. Lost bullets for five. Vito's video bombed so hard it did a call to prayer first.

No? Yeah, that sucked. Just like Vito's video performance. Hey, I think the video was good. Fast fat guy for two. Are you going to make more Marvel stuff next time? There's a Marvel I don't know. Maybe I like making it. I like talking about it like that content I don't like editing it though. The problem for this one was I had to Help help edit. What's the point of the edit though? Why not? Why not just talk and release that?

Like there's no difference. I just like don't have any interest in making that. Like there's no, what do you, wait, you don't have any interest in making that content? Yeah, yeah. Like me just talking in front of a camera about the movie. Without editing? I've done that in the past and it just feels like. Lazy?

Yeah. Phoned in. Yeah, it feels phoned in and like I'm not doing anything and I'm like, well, if I'm not going to put effort into it, why even do it? You could just read the script. I just. Get AI to do it.

Here's the thing is like, OK, what do I get out of it? Views? Well, no. OK, well, I'm saying, what am I making? You said you liked doing Marvel stuff. Yeah, but like, if I'm going to talk about it, I want to do it on like more than just like spitballing. If I'm going to spitball bullshit, I'll just do it on here, you know?

I would do, okay, here's how I would do that. I would do a movie review show with another person who sees the movie with me, and then we maybe talk about the movie. Yeah. Yeah. But I don't have anyone to do that with. So. Well, cause the Marvel shit's just horrible.

I've talked about maybe doing it with my buddy Dirk. Like I like like, but even like Red Letter, even Red Letter media, like, you know, they edit a little bit, you know? I guess. I don't know. I haven't watched them and have they, do they still have stuff? Yeah, sometimes. I don't know I Haven't watched them and have they do they still have stuff and sometimes. I don't know man I have my second channel where I'll occasionally make the here's a news article. Let's talk about a video Yeah, but like at a certain point I realized you know these are fun throwaways

But I don't want to put that on my main channel Anymore because it is like a throwaway, and it just feels yeah, Not dirty, but it's like, okay, this is for people. I know people like it. Let's put it that way. I'm doing it for people who like it. The bottom's fallen out of that market. Yeah. The hate movie watchers.

Eh, I don't know. Star Wars is dead is dead. It goes in cycles. I mean, people loved when I was talking about the Star Wars Hotel, they were tuning in for that. So it's like you find... Wasn't that like two years ago? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You find a topic and it trends. Like those videos were getting like, I got like 100k views on a couple of those videos. Yeah, that was funny. That was funny, yeah. Yeah, but then they know it goes into recession You know, yeah, I don't know what to talk about. There's nothing You know and you can either a chase trends you could be like quartering and go Oh, hey talking about that trans girls beer added I can do that for the next six months Mmm, or but I can't do that cuz I like I can only talk about topics

I'm interested in I was interested in the Star Wars Hotel, which is why making those videos was fun for me. Yeah, that was fun. And I am interested in Marvel stuff, so I have fun talking about it. Well, that's all I was asking. Fast Fat Guy for two, Piggy Piggy, no, Super Killer and Vito's still Biggy. And Lapoo for two, Woody says he will be a guest if he was asked to play magic? On what show? I thought Woody did-

I don't know, be more specific, spend more money and be more specific with your also. I was told Harley Morrison, you know that guy He's been getting into magic so I think we did a regular like magic stream every now and again with just funny internet guys That would be a ton of fun You gotta have some big booty. I Destroyed the last box so now I had I just put the lid on this one as you could see yeah There's a very Funko pop shaped treasure chest. Well, I guess you're gonna hold all of your commentary, please Oh, I have the headphones off

what's the game where we smash all the toys? Me does booty! A man who tweets about little boys! Me does booty! Who wants an about you know you want it! Me does booty! So get on the scale or I'll smash it to shit! Me does booty!

Me does booty! Me does booty! Me does booty! Vitos Muti! Vitos Muti! Vitos Muti! Vitos Muti! Vitos Muti! What's it gonna be? Let's get to smashing! You don't even know what it is! It's Steve Erkel!

How could you smash Steve Erkel? Ohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohoho Do you see how close that got to my head? Yeah, I know. The first time you used a hammer and you almost fucking blind me. Look at this. That's why I can't fix that door. I'll just kill myself. Yeah, you get too excited. Patreon.com slash biggest problem if you guys want to see the bonus episode biggest problem in Eric July's stupid cope documentary Don't forget get your tickets at hackamania.com Join us in May for a night under the stars with Carl from Join us in May for a night under the stars with Carl from Who are these podcasts? We get rooms now vote on all the problems at biggest problem dot show

Where is this? Where's what? Where is it almost hitting me in the head? You're watching the replay. Yeah, you're fine. I didn't almost look look. Yeah, you did Steve Erkel Did I do that that's what I should have said when I Do you remember how you could say that I remember that Remember how he never knew if he did stuff. How do I find the live button? Where is that here here? why do I have to find this What's this problem? Do you see how close that go back?

Check out patreon.com watch this watch this Because I knew you were gonna be I knew you would be reckless dangerous Like look at this barely moving you know that's in that's how I- You almost sawed my fingers off with that chainsaw. Not even close. Not even close. You were right next to him. Not even close. Look at this. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

. Watch this. Do you know how much fucking Funko shrapnel has been flown in my direction? Yeah, but none of it came even close to harming you in any way. Look at this. Watch, watch. Watch this. Watch this. Look at- okay, well, This is where it hit, right? This is where it hit.

This is right where my eye is! Look at that! No, no, that's where your fucking bandana- No, it would have hit the red part of your fucking bandana. This is my eye, correct? That's your eye. This is my eye. Okay, watch. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, moved the whole thing now! Stop, stop, stop! Go back. Alright, your eye was right here. My eye was right here.

You're moving it right there. Boom! No, under it. Under it, you did fine. And it hit my hand back here. It hit my hand back here, so the trajectory... You gotta be careful. Well, don't do that that you're gonna unplug it.

Oh sorry. Guys what a great show. I need to update this end of show graphic and I will and I love you and... You don't want Steve Urkel? Well it's too late we had to smash him because I didn't get on the scale. Can't have him now. Oh, I busted his glasses! I did good. Look at that, his eye. Holy Lord. Wow, that really sunk in there.

Did I do that? That was a close call. Now if it was Stefan Urkel, I would be upset because he's a man of action. You know who would really be pissed off by how I just treated Urkel? Fucking Vivek. Probably. He'd go, you wouldn't have treated Zach that way. God I hate Vivek. Now he's pretending to be the Ultraman. He's pretending to be the Ultra-American. He's going, what's up my fellow Americans howdy doody-doo Yankee doodle Let's eat a big old apple pie and watch the football game baby, too. You know that I didn't know that

He's gonna get all the mage one bees in here. I know he really is it's only yeah, of course God Hate white people America will be he's just like us. Hey everybody come on in here! Well at least there'll be more curry restaurants. Alright, goodbye everyone. Bye bye!