The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 189

Episode Date: May 24, 2025

Oh shit. Okay. Wow. I mean, I mean, it cut over. So yeah. Oh, that's fantastic. All right. I'd try to get my wife to tell me if the sound is correct this week. Was it not correct? I thought it was okay last week. No. Well, you were really loud. Oh, that's pretty good. All right. Okay. I was loud, but it has the on whatever. Look at this. It's my fault. It's my fault. Look at this. Look at what I figured out how to do. See that you learned how to put people's comments on. Yeah, I know. Yeah, you didn't know that. That wasn't a thing before. And for Netflix protest, he's a big fan. You'd see what a great scream we got.

Don't you like my cat? No. You've never met my cat. How's it going? Now it's a real show. Now it's a real show. Just put your camera down like normal. It's fun to play with.

It's just his mic? My wife just said? What the fuck? My mic is test one, test one. Hello, hello. What are you talking about? It's just his mic? My wife just said, what the fuck? My mic is test one, test one. Hello. Hello. Hey, what are you talking about? It's just his mic. It's just his mic. Like when I touch it, you mean something's wrong? Oh no, it's your mic's just shitty. My mic is not shitty. Hold on.

You have it connected in a very shitty way. It's probably the noise canceling, honestly. It's honestly, yeah, it's probably the automatic noise canceler Maybe maybe well you have a fancy air conditioner. I have a regular air conditioner Get a better one Well, maybe if maybe if we get enough super chats because here's what happens if I turn Yeah, well, that's what I'm saying. No, never mind. I don't care that much Well, I also don't care that much because whatever I sounds like.

It sounds like your audio sounds like shit. Well, somebody should give me I'm sure there's a program I can route the fucking mic through. Somebody just has to tell me how to do it. What do you mean route the mic through? Because I can have the mic input go into something and then filter through that and have that be the output of my microphone. Right now, you're just getting the raw microphone. You don't have a compressor or anything on it? No. Oh wow. No wonder it sounds bad. All right. Here's our- There you go. Here's

our- from last week. Oh wait, I forgot to do everything in the intro. You want to do it? Oh, wait, I forgot to do everything. The intro, you want to do it? Sure. Why not? You can pretend this is still a show. Biggest problem in the universe. Do do do do do do do. The biggest problem in the universe. The only show that ranks biggest problem in the universe.

The only show that ranks every problem in the universe from Crown Vix to Casino Tricks. That was from Snowden. No pedophile stuff. Darn it. I'm your host, Dick Mastrom, joining me, Fido Juswaldi. Hi. How's it going? Good. It's going good. It's been hot. Yeah. Vito just wildy. Hi How's it going? Good

It's going good. It's been hot Yeah, how hot is it where you are bored treating you? Bellatro so good that I'm now trying to make my own Bellatro talking to programmers I've got it all figured out. We're gonna make the next next Bellatro. Why don't you make like a car or a warehouse business first? Because this is the future. This is it. This is what the people want. You talk to programmers?

I got a couple different programmers vying for the opportunity to be a part of this exciting project. To waste their time. Waste their time. Waste their time. What are you talking to them about? Well basically I would do all the art and the game design. They would have to program it. If you want to show this tab real quick, the future of video gaming is right here. What kind of game is it? I'm trying to show it to you. Well, what do you want me to do? Just hit share with the net.

Look at that. It's solitaire, but it has the Final Fantasy shit. Exactly. Okay. And that's what? That's a million dollar idea. Final Fantasy shit exactly. Okay, and that's what? That's a million dollar idea See you have guys how many programmers you talking to I got guys they're fighting they're fighting for the rights they're going well I'm go well, I got a lot of guys, you know trying to get in on this

Are you gonna give them the rights to make it? No, no, it would be I would pay them to Develop it and I guess give them a piece of the back end. Why would you give them a piece of the back end? Well, I guess I could just pay guys to make it. Yeah. Yeah. How much are you going to pay to bring this to fruition? 100,000 American dollars. Are you joking or is that, do you have it budgeted out? I have not budgeted anything now. I have to get quotes from people as to what amount of time they think it would cost

and what I would have to pay them. I could pay people to make stuff. What is that? I mean, anytime somebody starts throwing out like points on the backend for something that they've never done and have no idea how to do, you just, you immediately know it's a scam, or I immediately think scam.

I've worked on apps, I've worked on games. Like Grindr, you've worked on Grindr? Star Realms has a mobile app that took my UI design and made it terrible, and that's not my fault. I told them that looks bad, and they didn't fix any of it, so. When's the game going to be out? Wait, when's this game going to be out?

Any game? Well, Star-Rom's is already out, but. Not Star-Rom's. Yeah, I don't know. I'll give it a year. It'll take about a year. It'll take a year to make a six month video game. Six months.

How's that? I just want to know what your Three months. No, three months. Don't bullshit me. How long do you think it will take? I would imagine it would take over Well, I mean, I want to keep it really simple. I would want to get it into early access and then build on it from there.

I would hope we could get like a prototype working in early access once people are working on it after like a year. What's early access once people are working on it after like a year. What's early access? On Steam? When you that's when you have a version of the game that's not like 100% complete. But like people can get in and play test it and refine it. Yeah, now. I mean, it used to be

like, oh, this is like, you know, just what and now it's every game is unfinished when it comes out. Bellatrix was an early access as well. So yeah, Bellatrix was amazing. That guy, that guy who made it's like really dedicated, right? Absolutely. He's got a, but I got a lot, I do a lot of game stuff, man. Oh yeah.

Oh yeah. Like what, like what kind of game stuff like dice monsters you've seen dice monsters of course is that that one that Matt Jarbo did no no no that was a that was monster whatever the hell monster versus monster right yeah yeah look there's a video just all these dice monsters look at this I mean I put I skinned a tabletop simulator to make this. You made this? I skinned, you know, like you can. Yeah, I made all the graphics and I skinned all the cards and put them on.

Yeah, I mean, it doesn't have rules built into it. You have to like play it manually. OK, I didn't say I could program. I'm not saying I could program, but I can obviously do art and game design. I'm not like retarded. I don't know about obviously. What do you look at that? That looks pretty good. What this? Yeah. What looks good about it? It's got it's got nice crisp design there. Look at the look at the cards. I got the look at the art. Well, this was before they had a I now I can use a I had to use stock photos of barnyard animals to fill out the cards.

You took like a turtle and then made some boxes on Photoshop. Hell, yeah, dude, those are some sick boxes. I don't think that's really like I don't think that's really that impressive. No, I'm just the game. What do you mean? What's it's impressive to design and look here's the diversity. Here's the physical version of it. We have a prototype Why is there a physical version of this? Well, cuz you can play it either physically or digitally ideally. It's an asymmetrical Game. All right. So you're making a game. If I can get a programmer. You know those programmers, if you think artists are lazy, man, you got another, you got a... I got another thing coming. Yeah, I know. You're gonna have a wake-up

call. Well, maybe I'll have to learn how to program. I took a rudimentary programming way back when. Isn't it getting a lot easier now? Can't I just have AI tell me what to do? It's a piece of cake. It's not even not hard at all. You should start vibe coding. Okay. This weekend.

I would have to. Let everybody know what you're doing. What do you code in? You're a coder. Get out of here. Rust? Are you talking about Rust? Mostly anchor in JavaScript now. So I should make this an anchor is what I'm hearing. Yeah, you should make it an anchor. I'll make it an anchor. I think that'll be easy. It seems easy

is what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's still though, the project management, I think is going to be the hardest part. Well, yeah, we'll have some project It's the the project management. I think it's gonna be the hardest part well, uh Yeah, we'll have some project. I have a project manager now for some stuff who I'm making double-duty working with they could do see how to and Shitty, what are you calling it? Shitty card game shitty card game? I'm I think I'm gonna call it off Well, I can't I'm not gonna give out the name because then somebody else will try to trademark it out from under me But let me just say that orbs will be involved Orb sucker there will be orbs. Is that gonna be the name of it? Maybe I'll call it there will be orbs

That's a pretty good. That's a good subtitle or is it gonna be funny It's gonna be a little funny. Yeah, it be funnier than in Superkiller? Well, Superkiller is not funny at all. So I mean, that's I'm just asking if it's going to be funnier than the comic. Have you ever seen the box art for solstice? This is my this is my inspiration solstice. No solstice on the NES. No, it's just the most buff fucking wizard.

Okay. And, uh, that's here. I'll show you real quick. Is he looking at his orb? No, he's holding up. He's holding a potion. All right. It's just this Jack.

This is my, this is my inspiration. Jacked wizards going on an adventure. And you go, why is he so fucking ripped? He's a wizard You could just use magic and it's like yeah, dude, but you don't want to skip fucking leg day, baby You got to get jacked Like do you wizard quest there will be orbs that's the working title There will be orbs Why is it that both you and Eric have great ideas? Yeah, have

so many great ideas. You know it's just I just... I'm not recording. Well, we'll be able to grab it off the video. I'm just full of great ideas, many of which pan out spectacularly. Let's be real. You're acting like, you're acting like none of my ideas have ever come to any sort of fruition and that's what's silly. What do you mean? None of your ideas. I'm saying that not every idea that I have is like knocks it out of the park, but like every once in a while. Yeah

Yeah, but like for YouTube videos Sure YouTube videos are good. Yeah, that's a T-shirt that's like an idea Yeah Making a video game than an idea In terms of like huge creative undertakings I don't know I think I've done all right. Do you ever watch you know did you ever watch my pilot? That's all right. What pilot? For a Game Town. No. The hilarious situation comedy. No I

did not. That's like a TV show though that's way easier to make than a video game. I agree. Okay. I'm saying is Wizard Quest, there will be orbs guys. Get it on your Steam wishlist now because I don't want you missing out on the fun. Okay, okay, okay, okay. What the hell's wrong with me? Number one, cops that look like cop cars. I still don't know what the hell's wrong with me. C one, cops that look like cop cars. I still don't know what the hell's wrong with me.

Cops, cars that look like cop cars, number two. Darth Vader doing suicide awareness, number three. And gambling, it's dead last. People like gambling. Yeah, I think they also didn't know what the hell you were talking about with your complaining about one win, about a little win in Vegas. I guess I just, yeah, I just don't get anything out of it, you know?

Yeah, yeah. Zero says, my wife and I sent Vito the Final Fantasy figure. Vito, didn't you find it strange that you were told what the gift was ahead of time? I found that strange, Zero. The whole point of Vitoes booty is that you don't know what you're getting well That's not necessarily true. We sent it in knowing sometimes For yourself and brag about it on air good luck trying to resell it Vito your name is written on clouds ass So so I did exactly what you wanted. What's the issue? Also, I know sometimes on the show you might tell a fun story. When?

I don't know. Probably never. This guy sending the figurine to you? I thought that was the joke. The joke was that I was supposed to get into Vito's booty and I stole it. That's a better joke than oh, actually, I knew you were gonna steal it kind of ruins the whole fucking bit. I don't know who's I don't know who's fooling who with this one. Who's fooling who? Yeah, I hope you pranked him. But if this is his prank on you, then it's retarded.

Wyatt hearing Vito saying he's having cold sweats really hits home after learning about the medicine he's taking. Yeah, that method is great. Yeah. Steven, Mark great. Yeah. Stephen Martin gives you a lot of great ideas. Doesn't it? Math. million dollar ideas. Rock shooting rockets taking computers apart. You could do anything. Stephen Martin, you know something, Dick? Some guys wipe front to back some guys

wipe back to front. Vito wipes side to side. I don't wipe in any direction, because I have a bidet, which I don't understand what's wrong with you people. I'm also back on the amp. What's amp? Amp was the energy drink you all convinced me to stop drinking and to drink a zero calorie alternative. Vito, it doesn't matter, you're on meth,

do whatever you want. Well, that's what I'm saying is I found out if I drink one of these and I take a meth pill, oh my God, it's like I'm in space. It's like I can see the numbers. Yeah, you're a- You look like, you look like Matrix Code right now to me. I don't even see a man.

I just see, shh, shh, shh. You might end up homeless. I'm gonna call it. You might, you might end up homeless if you stay on the meth. Some of the meth deals I've made have been bad deals. So yes, it's very possible. Yeah, it's not late night, late night stock trading.

Many such cases. We are stage zero says, Vito says he hates gambling, but he buys boxes of magic cards in hopes of being able to plus. It's true. But I know magic cards, when you open them, it's a bad investment. If you hold onto them, not a terrible investment. In hopes of being able to profit,

I think he was trying to say. Yeah. Not in being able to plus. I'm definitely not profiting because I opened too many of the cards that I need to sell. Are you plusing? Yeah, I'm plus-maxing. I'm plus-maxing.

Arcturus Mink says, I've been taking this super riddle in which is oh, he's quoting you which is basically meth. Well, suddenly things make a lot more sense. Yeah. Erkim. The super killer colors are insane, you guys. Every day I go in pixel by pixel. Because I know you're not joking. Did you see the did you see the Indiegogo update that I posted today with the colors? Pixel by pixel. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I give a shit. It means I want it to look good. It doesn't. What are you talking about? What does a year delay mean? It doesn't look that good.

Well, in the future, now I'll know how to color it quicker. It looks better. Urson, unexplained medical condition doesn't mean we can't tell how this is your fault. It means we can't tell which piece of you is broken and causing this. Yes, thank you, thank you, thank you. When you go to the auto, oh my God, I love a good analogy. I could, if I was about to die and they asked me,

what's one thing you want before you die? I would say, I want somebody to give me a car analogy for something that makes sense on its face. Like find somebody, have them say something that obviously makes sense, like literally, and then have them use a car analogy to explain it. Yeah, I'll make it make sense. When you go to the auto mechanic, he doesn't say,

looks like your wife is hitting too many curbs. He says you have a cracked sway bar and we're gonna replace it. Yeah, thank you. Unless he doesn't say looks like your wife is hitting too many curbs He says you have a cracked sway bar and we're gonna replace it. Yeah. Thank you Unless he doesn't say that I would not even be able to process that car metaphor It's I know it's I wish I knew I wish I could remember the car metaphor that pushed me over the edge. I Thought I I don't need another gonna be like putting an all new engine in this sucker. Yeah, it's like trying to fix your engine when you're going 80 on the free hook. Stop. Just say it's you can't stop the process and fix it well. No smellless as Vito the therapy expert really

known for his mental stability. Darth Cerberus says Vito I hate gambling also Vito I spent $12,000 on boxes of cards and hope they pay off. $12,000? I think we're up to 20 by now. Though they're canceling my orders like crazy. I'm fighting the cancellations. You spent $20,000 on Final Fantasy Magic cards? Let's say 20,000. Let's say that number. That's a good number. Definitely not any higher than that. How much are you hoping to profit from that? Uh, uh, 25% profit. Maybe it's not going to be like huge. $5,000.

Yeah, I guess. I mean, it's the bigger thing is that I'm trying to grow users on that platform and nobody's going to be for the next six months Nobody's gonna watch any stream that doesn't have final fantasy magic cards as part of it, you know So this is a long-term growth. It's a long-term growth strategy. It's a user acquisition strategy So it doesn't matter if it loses money. It's a loss leader Bobo, uh 17 minutes. I can't imagine losing money. The Lokes, I love the super chat segment of the show as much as the problem segment.

The fans and you guys interaction with them are funny. Used to be funnier before, oh, okay. I didn't read that before. It used to be funnier before Vito made an enemy of all the fans. Tad Potato, Dick's right about AI. The AI voice thing, it's annoying and since it's bandwagon, the YouTube trend,

it diminishes the unique feel of the show. Okay. The unique feel. Oh wait, is he complaining about the AI voices? Nobody wants AI voices. No. I guess you're right about that. I was against the YouTube TOS too.

I heard Aaron Emholt is gonna sue them over using his voice in Super Tips. But I don't know if that would actually work. Can you stop a computer from mimicking your voice? Well, you can make YouTube take your account down. Yeah. Aaron Emholt's not having a good time after Hackamania, I've noticed. It really didn't work out for him I guess watch the show I

Try to tune in but he's just like it's just like a bad It's like a radio show or he just goes today and the news of the Steelers put the ball over the line I'm like who's watching this shit. Why do you want to watch this guy tell you about it? I finally found I finally figured out What it is what steeltoe show is it's like if you listen to terrestrial radio and like the afternoon and the DJs will always make a big deal when something is like kind of PG rated they'd be like oh you saw a hot girl oh did she oh was she in a bikini Oh, you saw a hot girl. Oh, did she? Oh, was she in a bikini?

Time with myself or like, they won't even say anything like explicit. Not not not not. Yeah, not that though. Not that I do that. No. Aaron is that but he's on the internet. So people just spam end towers in his chat and he goes like, Whoa, I can't believe you guys are saying the N word. So well, that's what's fascinating is both him and Opie. Supposedly, we're doing this like kind of PG drive time radio because they're like, that's how you get back on the radio. You prove you can do a clean show. And the big problem is, is like, nah, you do the exact opposite.

Because you do a clean show and no one's watching it. Yeah, because you're you have a different audience. You have to think of which my first problem is the ends. No, we love things on fungus says, please never do a remote show again. I would prefer the show to end over having to listen to a remote show again. Sorry, ding dong fungus. Frog washing says, I'd like it very much if you ask veto whether his video game or Eric's video game will come out first. I Mean it depends if I actually met if I actually make one. I don't know. I don't even know Eric's video game

If not, you're making one which one counts as having come out first If neither of us make one well, I've made and worked on games, so I would say I'm winning that race. Download the Star Realms app on your phone right now and see the UI. They poorly implemented and it's not my fault. So you made it. You have a crappy game. The game is really good. UI is just fucking terrible. But people love the game. But it's fun. OK. Well, is really good. UI is just fucking terrible, but people love the game.

But it's fun. Okay. Well, it is fun. It's just, yeah, they don't listen to me. All right. Do you have anything planned or do you want to do? I have an exciting segment that you hate for some reason, but we're going to do it. It's called vote it up. Shit. Let me hold on. Okay. Maybe this one. shit let me hold on uh okay maybe this one see maybe this is too loud here record 1911 is hijacking this voted up stinger this is for all the people who were wrongfully banned and their super chats not read please enjoy this new song okay whoops that is an old okay are we doing it or you're finding another finding another one they're all I mean, all right now about this one Do don't you be the scam Go and vote it up

If you don't beat all will kill your whole family. You don't go and vote. There won't be no show. The Patreon is the way to go. Go and vote it up. Vote it up. Vote it up. Wow. Guys, it's vote it up. And the song is still going for some reason.

Yeah. Fantastic. Guys, it's voted up. Let's talk about some problems, Dick. You know, we love what we love on this show is our food problems, Dick. I know you're a big fan of those. Well, from episode 50, I brought in the problem of discontinued food fakeouts. This is when they tell you your favorite food item's going away, but it comes roaring back. Now, Dick, this is very, very exciting. Are you a McDonald's guy? I mean, I guess.

Yeah, sure. Have you been to McDonald's lately? No. Well, next time you stop in, you might wanna get yourself McDonald's first new permanent menu item in four years, the new McCrispy Strips, featuring the all new creamy chili dip,

isn't that exciting? It's a flavor pack duo that's here to stay, and again, the first new menu item since 2021. Wow. No no chicken strips chicken mc crispy strips dick as mcdonald says we're raising the chicken game to a new level with mc crispy strips irresistibly craveable chicken strips made with juicy 100 white meat and coated with crispy golden brown breading and bursting with a bold new black pepper flavor. Mcrispy strips also come with the perfect pairing

of our new creamy chili dip, a savory sweet Is this the McDonald's ad that you're reading? Tangy sauce is a press release that unlocks the full strips experience. But here's what you're saying, Dick, you're going, well, that's not a return of an item, is it? Cause it's a new thing. But Dick, they ended their press release with the words,

and that's a wrap, at least for now. Hinting very strongly that the McDonald's snack wrap may be returning now that chicken strips have returned to the menu. Oh, the snack wrap, a chicken tortilla entree has been missing since 2020. On April 15th, McDonald's tweeted snack wraps 0X142025, meaning on the 14th of some month, the snack wraps may return and you'll be able to get your favorite chicken strips wrapped in a little tortilla, a little bit of lettuce, kind of like a taco.

But what was the what was the original problem? Discontinued food. You know, they tell you they're getting rid of it. OK, I think this is these McDonald's chicken things. They discontinued the snack wrap. Oh, OK. So now it's lookingued the snack wrap. Oh, okay. So now it's looking like the snack wrap is coming back. Oh, okay.

All right. Well, congratulations. I like when I can tell you're excited. Well, I mean, it's just like an ad that you're excited. Well, I mean, it's just like an ad that you're reading. Well, it's because it's exciting for the consumer. I tried the new chicken strips, by the way, and they're not terrible. But they're just like Mcnugget chicken with sauce, right?

Yeah. McDonald's has a lot of chicken options right now. I think a lot of because Chick-fil-A is cleaning up for some reason. People love eating fried chicken right now. So everybody's racing to compete with Chick-fil-A. Yeah, that's why everybody's got a chicken sandwich now. Yeah. I don't like Chick-fil-A that much. I don't get it.

Yeah. I like the McRisbee at the McRisbee sandwich though at McDonald's the chicken Have you tried the chicken sandwich at McDonald's the new one? It's not new. It's like a year old now It all it all base. It all tastes the same to me. Yeah, just did some chicken Wait, it's got a buttery bun. Got a little pickle on there. It's like sugar man like You know what? The bread does is, everybody's, I've always wanted to bring in sugar bread as a problem. Oh yeah.

Everybody's bread, they keep adding more and more sugar to it. It's bizarre. Well, you know, their demo is. Americans. We're gonna have heart attacks before they're 60. So. Have you ever been to a Texas Roadhouse?

You know that restaurant? I don't think so. No, it's like a it's like a steak restaurant. It's a chain of steak restaurants. And I went there and everyone's like, you got to try their butter. And I'm like, what do you mean? And like, you got to have the bread with the they bring you these rolls and the butter. And the butter is not butter.

It is like just the sugar formed into a spread that you just put on. I'm like, this is fucking terrible. Why don't you just eat a fucking birthday cake before you eat the steak at that point? Can you imagine somebody like that who that thought comes in their mind like, oh, yeah, you got to recommend the butter at this time. Like your fucking t-shirt. I mean, I'm a fat guy, but like I see these videos of like the

are like the guys who make the milkshakes with like a bunch of shit hanging off them. And I go that looks disgusting. Yeah, those look bad. But a restaurant butter. Make sure you try the butter. Make sure you try the butter. I've had that line multiple times from people about different

restaurants. There was like a French toast. No, not even a French toast. There was a breakfast restaurant in my old, when I was living in Vallejo and they're like, you got to try the toast. I'm like, why? And then I get the toast, it's basically toast and it's covered in like sugar and cinnamon and trash. And I'm like, oh God, this is horrible. I don't want, this is not a breakfast for me. I don't want to start with a cake. That's America for you. Well, a lot of sugar, a lot of sugar. Meanwhile, look, I mean, my figure's coming down, I feel.

So I'm abstaining from the sugar butter. Dick, that's the discontinued food fakeouts voted up. Don't forget though, we got another one for you. Okay, okay, I get it. Yeah, because they say they're getting rid of it. I just tune out commercials, man. When I forget though, we got another one for you. Oh, state counts. Okay, okay. I get it. Yeah, because they say they're getting rid of it. I just tune out commercials, man. When I hear commercials, I'm like, I don't understand any of it, what you're saying. Well, here's the opposite of a commercial. This is bad, Dick. From our bonus episode

22, which was our bonus episode about China, we had the problem of Chinese apps, which is actually currently a, oh, it is an upvoted problem. And I agree it should be because attorney generals from six states, including New Hampshire, are now demanding accountability from WeChat, the Chinese messaging and payment platform currently being used by fentanyl traffickers. Sure. Did you know all our fentanyl is getting funneled through WeChat? I mean a lot of it. I don't know about all of it. A lot! A lot! And the text. And the scram.

And every app that they have, yeah. Now I only use WeChat because again, it's a... What? It's a locked down messaging platform. You know, so when I chat my middle school friends, we have to use WeChat to keep it off the radar. But apparently also it's used because you can send encrypted payments and you have encrypted messaging.

So these guys go on there. First of all, the cartels are buying all the supplies to make fentanyl from Chinese people on WeChat. Like that's how they're getting it. All the Chinese companies that make... Okay who put out this press release? The government? Attorney generals from six states including New Hampshire. Yeah what a bunch of bullshit. That's how they're buying the fentanyl stuff. They're using the WeChat. That's how they buy it because you go to a Chinese guy and he goes you got to talk to me on WeChat.

It's so fucking stupid. It's so stupid and embarrassing that we people went to prison to put Trump and his guys in and All they do is spend their time fucking around with drugs trying to stop Fentanyl an epidemic they created by banning cocaine It's so it's so embarrassing That guy Bongino and Cash Patel, if Scott Adams can give both of them his cancer, that would be amazing.

We'd all be better off. Did you see today the Republicans banned all like weed stuff from Texas? It's, I don't know, I didn't see that, but it's not surprising. It's all they care about. I don't know if they banned actual pot or just like edibles, but I don't know. I didn't see that, but it's not surprising. It's all they care about. I don't know if they banned actual pot or just like edibles. And they say it's fentanyl.

They say it's about the deaths and the injury from fentanyl, but they were just as pissed about weed, which has never killed anybody. So it's all a joke. I mean, it's such a joke because obviously, like all of this stuff, I don't know about fentanyl, but obviously, weed is not as bad as liquor. Weed is like nothing. I don't know why. Itl, but obviously weed is not as bad as liquor. Weed is like nothing. I don't know why. It's so weird to see the guys on Twitter always talking about, well, weed just makes you into

a degenerate. It makes you lazy. It doesn't do anything. It's like, oh, but watch this guy get drunk and piss his life away. Well, that's the American way. They think there's a nobility in it for some reason. Well, they would ban liquor in a second. The problem is people who like liquor get drunk and kill people.

So it's not a bunch of weed heads. You're just going to, you know, switch to switch to a pharmaceutical or switch to I think the other problem is making your own liquor takes zero amount of effort. Yeah. Sugar and a jug and have a good time. Put sugar bread in a jug and then you got wine. There you go. A little bit of yeast, a little bit of sugar. Anyway, the DEA and all these

they're currently talking to the Chinese saying no more. We chat drugs. You need to stop people from making all these delicious drugs. It's Chinese apps. It's every app. It's the US mail, the US Postal Service. No, no, it's the Chinese. The Chinese, they're the problem.

I'm fucking sick of China. I wish they would take take us over, honestly. They're thinking about it. We'll see what happens. We got too many you know whatats for them to deal with. Politicians. Yeah. Regulations.

Have you seen the Chinese guys that go to Africa and try to like start to industrialize it? Yes, I did. Did you see the one like lecturing them? Is that the video you're thinking about? Because that's pretty good. There's a video where Chinese guys just talking to an African guy. He goes, listen, I bring five Chinese guys in here and they build me a house in like a day. I gave you guys like six months and this is what you've

built. And the guy's like, well, you know, very hard to and he's like, no, you just suck at this. Yeah, you guys. You're allergic to doing work. Yeah, the Chinese industry and you do have to appreciate the Chinese and the industriousness of the Chinese man. They make a lot of that's not what I got out of that interaction. Actually, I appreciate that. That's the real issue. Chinese are particularly industrious out of that. A bunch of little railroad making guys. Uh, okay.

Is that all your? That's all my fun. And that's all my segment. Do those who feel the scam go and vote it up. If you don't beat all, we'll kill your whole family. If you don't go and vote, there will be no show. The patron is the way to go. Go and vote it up.

Vote it up. Get yourself some crispy strips, guys. How do we get sponsored by food? I would be good at that. I don't think we're getting sponsored by food. You get a mic to get sponsored by food. Is the mic better or worse? I turned the game down a little bit.

I don't fucking know, man. Well, it has an automatic. Oh, wait, hold on. Now it'll be better. Okay. I didn't. I was moving around. Now you've changed it. Now I've changed it. Yeah, now it'll be better. But you did that without having a you don't know how it was coming out before you changed it. There's an option in StreamYard to automatically adjust mic volume, which I should have on. And I'm looking at my gain and I'm not peaking, so that's good.

Yeah. I think I might have been peaking a little bit before. Do I have mine on automatically? Yeah. All right. Well, you have all this audio stuff. You could send me some. I don't fucking know anything about audio.

Nah. You're the musician. My problem is... Oh yeah, we don't fucking know anything about audio. Nah. You're the musician. My problem is, oh yeah, we don't do that yet. My problem is, I don't know what to call it, bad movie guilt, I guess. Yeah. Yeah, watching a bad movie guilt. We saw the movie Friendship last night. That's the one with what's his name.

Uh, we like Tim Robinson. I hired people liked it, but then some people said they're getting tired of this, like cringe comedy or something. You know, it's rough. It's hard making a comedy movie with no jokes. Yeah. Or very few jokes. Right. Right.

We always we always try to gaslight ourselves or newspaper, the reviewers try to gaslight us when comedy movies come out that have no jokes in them. You know, I'm talking about the like the the reviewers say that. And they're like, oh, it's like a fun ride Fun ride for the family. Yeah fun ride. That's a good one. Um a dark comedy Remember when cable guy came out and they say comedy that means not funny Dark comedy. I've seen clips of the Minecraft movie and that looks funny

we watched that also and it felt, my wife said, I think this is like, this legit feels like an idiocracy movie. What about when he makes the lava chicken? It was totally incoherent. I've seen that clip. Things happen for no reason. I mean, Eric Jalak could have written the Minecraft movie. The Minecraft movie, I think, wasn't it written by the Napoleon Dynamite guy and directed by the Napoleon Dynamite guy? I think he directed it. I don't know if he wrote it. Yeah, I think he did. And there was elements of Napoleon Dynamite in it that were-

I'm wondering, but wasn't Napoleon Dynamite like one of those movies where I remember being like, well, this is like interesting. It's not like laughing. Like there was a couple funny parts, but it was more just kind of like a ride through like a weird world. And I was like, well, that's fun. Yeah, but it was it was I don't know. There was something like endearing about it in good still.

I don't know. It felt honest. It felt a comedy. Honest. Yeah. Cable Guy, dark comedy. What else? What was another one? Tim and Eric's billion dollar movie. Cult following, they said. There's a couple parts in Tim and Eric's movie I enjoy, but overall it is not a... Not funny. A comedy movie that's not funny. There's a couple funny parts.

And you feel... And when you're watching it, you think like, Minecraft I didn't feel any kind of way about cause I didn't give a fuck. It's like, all right, whatever. This movie's for like kids. It's this movie's obviously not for me. I have no fucking idea what's going on. I don't know. I don't understand the pacing of this.

It feels like a bunch of TikTok shorts, like spliced together. So I don't know. I don't feel bad that this sucks. It obviously sucks, but it made a ton of money. All these other movies though, like Friendship, they sit down and I'm watching. I love, you know, Tim Robinson, I love. Yeah.

And it gets going, I'm like, oh no. That first feeling of, oh God, it sucks. And then you have to sit with that for two hours. You want to see in the theater? Yeah. So it's expensive to she like at all or was she like, no, it was not even women will laugh. Women will definitely not laugh at this. But what was?

Okay. So like, what was Hollywood doesn't make comedies because they can't. I mean, like, I mean, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know about that zero sphere shit. Hollywood, not even talking about zero sphere, like whatever it said, like they're out of step with what's funny in the world right now. Tim, Tim Robinson is the is the funniest guy. Yeah, but he didn't make that movie. He didn't write it. He like I thought somebody else wrote it.

And it was like they wrote a weird. I can't even explain it. It was like they wrote Single White Female and then Tim Robinson just came in and played a weird character. Says it's an American black comedy film. There you go. Black comedy. That's how you know it's socially awkward marketing executive. What are the I mean, there are some good black comedies, but sometimes black comedy. Hold on. It's not any.

It's just either a comedy movie or it's or a not funny, weird movie. Yeah. Or it's fail failure. That's it's the dark comedy shit. The dark comedy, niche comedy, cult classic, satire. If you see satire around the movie at all, you know that it's not it's not funny. It's not any good. That's your problem when you try to look up black comedy movies is immediately goes don't be a menace undercover brother and I'm like, God damn it, guys. Dark comedies. Yeah. So the issue is like, what is a good? What is a good comedy movie, though?

Yeah. Yeah. Billy Madison. Any movie with golf is great. Really just the ones and the bowling ones. Great. Not nothing dark Kingpin. Great. Not nothing dark about it. Nothing. Bowling or golf is a surefire way to do it. Yeah. I don't know, man. Like any time I've tried to see like a comedy movie over the last 10 years or so, I just go, I don't know, man.

It just seems like there's funnier shit going on on the Internet. Yeah. Can't decide if he likes Jews or if he hates Jews I'm like and then he's got his choir. Did you see the the yay choir out at the Walk of Fame? That's taking That's the best comedy right now at all. Like your life is funnier than this shit. You're never gonna get anything like that So I think you should leave is one of the funniest shows ever and This movie it really made me feel like bad as a fan. I don't know how to rectify it.

Of Tim Robinson, he didn't write it. He's just acting in it. He's an actor. He's doing acting. Yeah, but it's just his face on the screen. I mean, I saw it and I'm a huge fan and I feel bad. All your favorite comedians have been, look, Bill Murray did a bunch of terrible movies over the years and this is the same feeling about those like st

Vincent when I saw that I was like, oh man, come on man. Don't do this to me Say maybe they are giving us a warning with that dark comedy shit. Like that's their way of saying this movie sucks But I can't say it sucks. Don't go see it. I mean, I'm a little okay Here's what I'm worried about is that? Tim Robinson is very funny and the guys he surrounds himself with are very funny But there is always that point where I feel like these kind of these comedians who are kind of I don't know if Subversive is the obvious word but guys who like kind of have their finger on what's going on They get pulled into that Hollywood web of like yeah, but guys who like kind of have their finger on what's going on,

they get pulled into that Hollywood web of like, yeah, but what if we just made shit and we like just put it out there and we just made a lot of money from it. Yeah. And some of them just go like, yeah, let's do that. Let's just make shit. No, I don't think they do. It happens to a lot of creators. They try their ass off. He was trying his ass off in this, but it was just, and that made it worse actually. If you, what's the black guy he, though he was in Detroiters with him, Sam, Sam Richardson. Yeah. You saw he was in that new Star Trek, uh, movie that flopped super hard. I didn't know that, but, uh,

the one where the Asian lady is the most powerful and he's the goofy black guy going, oh my God, Star Trek. What's going on with Star Trek? Apparently it's the worst thing that ever happened. You should watch it. I want to hear your take on it. I'll try. You're the Sam Richardson expert at this point. All right. That's my problem. The problem is seeing a bad movie

and it's just stuck in there. Yeah, but it's that specific feeling. Like I remember the first time I felt this was in Ace Ventura 2. Do you ever get really excited for a movie? Were you excited to see it? Is that the problem? That was the last movie I was ever excited to see.

Were you excited to see this one? Were you like, this is definitely gonna be good? Yes! Yeah, this is gonna be good. This is gonna be good. I was like, when I was here, because it's so good. Yeah, nobody in the theater. It's only for me. It's only for me. I'm the only guy here. Yeah, I remember when I was a kid, I was so hyped for page master. Do you remember page master? No. First of all,

McCully Culkin was the best. We all loved Home Alone at the time. And then they did this trailer for a movie called Page Master. And it was about Macaulay Culkin getting sucked into these fantasy books and going on an adventure. And I was like, oh my god. And in the trailer, you see Macaulay Culkin with us. You want to see that?

Dude, in the trailer, Macaulay Culkin has a sword. And I was a kid. I I was super into like fantasy bullshit and dragons. And I was like, yo, McCauley Culkin with a sword is going to fight dragons. So I was so hyped for Page Master. So kids do want to see kids in movies. That's what you're saying. I mean, yeah, I want to see a kid with a sword fight monsters. Like that was my ideal situation for a story at the time

Yeah, and then half the movie it was like half animated his friends The books come to life and he's talking to the living books and I was like, where's the fucking dragons? Where's the sword? It's like two seconds of the whole movie. It looked like it was gonna be a badass fantasy epic I've been this trash like Animated thing. Yeah, I think that was the first time I went. The movies can lie. They can show you McCauley Culkin with a sword and not tell you it's just one scene where he holds it up and doesn't even fucking fight anybody with it.

That was the worst bad movie guilt. I guess that movie guilt sticks with you. Yeah. Fantastic. Now I feel bad for seeing the movie. I feel like I saw something. I should have. Did his TV show get pushed back? What happened to the, the, uh, what's the one he's got? The chair, the chair factory. I'm less excited about that now. Okay. You gotta let the guy have, you can't blame.

He didn't write or direct this thing. You gotta stop blaming the actor for what he's in. Every actor does shitty movies once in a while. No, you can blame them. You don't have to not do anything. Maybe he didn't know it was gonna be bad. Maybe it was gonna be funny, you know. That doesn't matter.

How's it doing on Rotten Tomatoes? I don't look at that sort of thing. Well, I wanna know if you have your finger on the pulse. Oh, I'm right. There's no jokes. I know what a joke is. Wow, it's got an 89% fresh rating from the critics. The critics really like this stupid really glazing it. That's part of 89%. That's huge. Trying to separate him from his fans. That's what they're doing. But yeah, they're trying to say this is the good stuff. Yeah, they're trying to say, hey, you make stuff like this. Like that's not anti-women and stuff.

Make it, it's not anti-stupid people. Make more stuff like this, making fun of you. I'd say part of the problem is also just putting guys in a movie that you're supposed to like. And they go, well, that's enough. It's Paul Rudd and it's Tim Robinson. You like those guys. Yeah, but you gotta give me a little meat on those bones.

Yeah. Maybe more talk about bones. Wow. Big fan of bones. All right. That's my problem. Dick. I got a well it's kind of a two-part problem.

First part of the problem is one of the great creative minds of our generation. A beloved cartoon mastermind, is apparently facing the end of his days. Our good friend, he's been on the show before, Scott Adams, who we love. Crazy Uncle Scott has announced that he has prostate cancer.

Have fun promoting the cancer in hell Scott He came out on Twitter I mean obviously everyone's been discussing the fact that President Biden has been revealed to have cancer and the big thing has been Well, you see he knew he had cancer. He must do a cancer and Scott is defending Biden saying Well, I didn't know I had cancer and I do have cancer Wow What a fucking a traitor till the end a traitor till the end scumbag defending Biden. Yes He's defending Biden. I mean maybe Biden didn't know he had cancer. Maybe it's possible The lowest circle of hell is reserved for betrayers and that's where Scott Adams will be wrote will be frozen

while his head is was bald head gets eaten by dogs for what was he supposed to say listen I didn't know about my cancer but Biden definitely did and fuck him I have the same cancer and I knew about it four years ago yeah it's Biden's return yeah like that I didn't probably knew he had cancer. I don't know. Regardless, look. I mean, that's boomers. That's boomers.

Yeah. Is at any moment, at the very last moment, if they could somehow fuck everybody over and get something for themselves, like get attention for themselves, get a redemption arc for themselves from people who despise them, they'll do it. They'll do it ten times out of ten All I know is Dilbert one of the great classics of comedy. We all love it Obviously, it's sad to know Dilbert will probably well, maybe somebody will take over Dilbert. I don't know We'll see what happens there. Were you a Dilbert? Were you a Dilbert guy?

Not as much I used to I used to have a bunch of the Dilbert books, you know, as a guy. It's really weird when I think about it that I was like 11 years old reading about, you know, how hard it is to work in an office. Yeah, I don't know why it appealed to me as a child. I just like comics, I guess. I was like, that is pretty funny. Your sense of feeling better than everyone. Yeah, exactly. I really identified with the boss character where I'm like, I don't know why these guys can't get these reports in quicker. Yeah. Anyway, the real problem, though, is OK. So Scott Adams says he has cancer.

Now, when your friend comes to you and they say you have cancer, anybody comes to you, says they have cancer, you go, I really suck. You have cancer. And I hope you have the best doctors to treat your cancer. And that's it. You as the normal human being probably have nothing else to offer in that scenario, I would assume. But what I learned is no, apparently, and this is my problem. Everybody is a cancer doctor.

Just not a very good one apparently because they didn't care this motherfuckers cancer. So Scott Adams, first of all said, listen, part of the reason I don't want to tell you all I had cancer is because I didn't want a million messages going told you not to get the vaccine. You fucking idiot. Now you have cancer because he knew we were right again. That's why he didn't want to say it because he didn't want to admit that he was fucking wrong. So you get cancer from the vaccine or the vaccine weakened him and it made him get cancer.

It caused the cancer by fucking his DNA. Yes. Right. So he goes, listen, guys, I have cancer. There's really not anything I do. I've tried a lot of things, so I've just kind of accepted it. And then you got literally thousands upon thousands of comments going, well, the funny thing is that I'm actually a cancer

expert. I don't know if you knew this, me, Bob Bupkis96 on Twitter. Here's Sean Gray going, Ivermectin and Fenbin cured my prostate cancer. You speak for yourself, Scott. So he's actually Ivermectin-splaining to Scott who tried Ivermectin and said, well, it just didn't work. He goes, it worked for me. Retard. That's what you get, Scott, for telling everyone they should get vaccinated. This is again, this is immediately his. All right. Here's the post.

He says, update, please don't recommend I take ivermectin and Fenbun. I tried it. There was no effect. I know there's claims of it working, but I'm aware of no. You didn't take it long enough. No, Please don't recommend fasting or any diet related system someone credible would have noticed if that worked. Eliminate the seed oils Scott and you're listening you have to eliminate seed oils. Do not recommend any cocktail of vitamins and minerals so he's specifically saying don't do these three things. Well why is he crying about cancer on Twitter then if he doesn't want all that shit? It's so, it's like, you know, it's like women, like dressing in a fucking bikini.

Oh, don't look at me. You're going to the gym wearing like a latex body suit. Oh, how dare you guys look at me? I'm just at the gym wearing nothing. Stop looking at me. Stop taking, stop working out and stop grunting over there. Stop taking a picture of me in the mirror. Like you're posting about your cancer on Twitter. You fucking moron. What do you think is going to happen? I mean, you would I mean, it is his fault that he amassed an audience of morons and conspiracy theorists who just believe in insane shit.

But I mean, like they're really mad that he said, hey guys, it's not gonna work, I'm gonna die. Your dismissal of water fastening is the same thing you did when it came to pure blood. Result, you got jabbed and boosted. Learn from it. Tiberius Spock says, Methylthene blue, take it to aid your mitochondria.

Meanwhile, apparently the Russians have made a lot of progress with Radium-223. Check the CPI stem cell clinic in Mexico. Consider drinking DDW. I'm not claiming it will cure you, but it could help with the pain and slow progression. I can send you some studies. Wow. Everybody is a cancer expert. This is incredible. I can't believe it. Okay. What's the correct course of action for you? Nothing? Just say nothing? Oh, sorry. I mean, it was better when you guys just said, I'll pray for you. That was at least like, okay, you're not... No shit! Nothing's done anything.

What about cannabis? High in limitrine, says Magic Mike. Just smoke a little weed and then you won't have stage four fucking whatever cancer. Okay, okay fucking whatever cancer. Rich Loomis has witnessed two different cancers be starved by a ketogenic diet so just eat meat Scott and then you won't have cancer anymore. Apricot seeds have hundreds of thousands of testimonies since World Art T. Yeah yeah yeah okay you and Scott are both similar in that getting like hearing, hearing shit like that. I know a noise, both of you, where do you get off? Where do both of you get off or what is it? What's in you that makes all of that good between good and great advice. Aggravate you so much.

Why is that? I just think that obviously Scott Adams has a doctor. He's doing what he can to not die from cancer. The assumption is, okay, but the assumption is that you're a dummy and this smart guy who read about apricot seeds one time is here to help you and you should be grateful for their advice. Yes. Yeah, there you go. go. Grateful, but not angry. Like, why do you get this is that Scott Adams getting cancer is the same as you trying to lose weight. People are both giving you all the advice they can, and it

annoys both of you so much. Why is that? I did like the first five guys. People are sending me insane stuff, right? I'm like, okay, well, maybe. All right. Okay, I might try that. I might never have I thought, man, fuck you.

You know what I mean? I guess it's the assumption that when they tell... Okay, because there's telling him, hey, try Ivermectin. And he's like, I did. Okay, the thing was that... And then I get messages from people and they go, you know, you should just eat less calories. And I go, I did okay the thing and then I get messages from people and they go you know You should just eat less calories. Oh, okay. Well. Yeah, but then you got back on amp so what the fuck You're not listening to the advice yeah, but the amp gives me the energy to just to do more. That's yeah exactly

So that's gonna burn it all off. That's what I mean like you guys aren't doing it Scott Adams is not eating apricots He's not doing enough. I don't think eating avvercotts or Ivermectin is going to help his cancer. It can't make it worse. Okay, sure. It can't make it worse. I think the point is that he's like, Hey man, it would be cool. Here's a guy, no sugar anymore. Yeah. Clean alkaline your body. Keep taking Ivermectin. This guy had uterine intonsal cancer and he says he's cancer three for two years because no sugar, all right. Or maybe Scott could try killing his ex-wife.

I've heard that. I don't know about that at all. I don't know any of that. I just think, and you know what is funny is that Scott Adams did, I think to put an update today and he Said hey, I am gonna try a new thing. So maybe one of these guys did break through to him He says that maybe I got it. He says he's got a 30% chance of surviving now. So who knows maybe he will take the Africa Is he gonna run pull us on his cancer? He might be a rug puller. You might be doing a medic or honest

We'll see exactly what goes I don't vouch for what you're saying right now. I'm just on screen. One of these classic long cons that we always discuss and you agree with, obviously. I mean, I don't know, man. It was a great week. Biden getting cancer, then a boomer getting cancer. Jesus fucking Christ. And then a vaccine shot and then blocking on Twitter. Cha-ching, cha-ching. How do you block by Scott Adams? Jesus.

I call them a pretentious douchebag for some reason. Or something. Scott says, I have decided on a path of treatment, but I will not be telling you the details because I think I know how that would go. Yeah, exactly. A bunch of armchair cancer doctors are going to pick apart his fucking diagnosis plan.

Be like, well, actually my sister had an injection of pure fruit juice into her left cornea and that rotted it away. Yeah, just cut your fucking legs off and see what have cut your legs off. Cut your legs off. It'll like shock your body. That could work. What do they do in Africa? Don't you have to have like sex with like a young boy or something and then it cures HIV? It's a baby. Is it a baby? Yeah. No, maybe you can try that. You gotta try to have sex with an African

baby. Can you imagine if that did cure cancer? We'd been in a real moral quandary all of a sudden. First guys with cancer would be like, look, I don't want to rape this African, baby But I don't want to have cancer either. So what are you gonna do? Anyway, and everyone is a everyone is a cancer doctor. That is my problem. I'm so glad everybody knows how to cure cancer It's so weird that people still have cancer with all of these miracle cures everywhere with all of these miracle cures everywhere. Why are you talking about it on Twitter then? If you didn't want 10,000 suggestions of what to do,

why are you talking about it on Twitter? There you go. You just want the attention for free. That's Scott. Hey everybody, I want the attention for having cancer, but I don't want all the positives of having attention for cancer, but none of the negatives, right?

He got the vaccine, so he's already screwed according to you guys. So who cares? There's nothing he can do. The vaccine's going to rot away his brain anyway. So what's the point of even being alive? That's it. We fucking told him the vaccine's bad. It could do any number of things. And then you got cancer. Boom. We called it. We fucking called it. Everybody knew that was coming. Everybody who is a free thinker. You all saw the cancer coming. You tried to save poor Scott Adams. Specifically, we saw a negative impacts, negative health impacts were on the way.

Exactly. Negative health impacts, ones that are too big for you to fix. They're, you know, killers. Here we go in the chat. Vito, here's a great diet hack. Replace all fruit with dried fruit. Fruits good for you and dried fruit means you can eat more so it will be better with you. Is that what you're saying? Now you told everybody to give me fucking diet advice. So now they're going to do that

we have a bunch of diet experts as well. You guys you guys flip out over people giving you advice to try to help you for no reason. Like, I don't know why you guys are offended by that. Cause I already know how to become the perfect man. Look at me, it's already happening. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got the meth, I got the amp, I got the video game, I got the comic book.

All right, next you just gotta get the lady and then that's five ingredients for a perfect life. Well, you could get some you could get Yeah, you get that lady You know takes the right kind of girl. Okay. My problem is Nobody wants to see your fucking cat. That's a good problem though. I my problem is lazy

Lazy or poor don poor, poor donut shops, lazy, cheap donut shops. I don't know how to phrase it. So in the 80s, and in the 80s, in the 90s, we had like a Korean, I don't know what country they're from Korean donut shops. Korean, I don't know what country they're from. Korean donut shops. Yeah, hold on. I actually know this. What do you mean hold on? Well, because it's a famous Asian story how Ted Nagoy built Southern California's Donut Empire. What do you mean hold on?

Well, because you said... So you can Google it? You said Koreans. Yeah, so what do you mean? Hold on. Yeah. I wanted to. It's Cambodians. I looked it up. You're Googling shit now. Yeah. Oh my God. It's important to get it right.

The Cambodian donut culture is so bad part of Los Angeles. What was that? You remember it? Do I remember what? The problem? The Cambodian donut shops. Yeah, I remember them. They still have them.

They were great. Yeah. They were great. You go in there, it's a whole like, it looks like a magical Willy Wonka style donuts selection. A lot of stuff in there. When we used to go in as kids. Man, it was quite a treat.

Big fluffy donuts, you know? Yeah, and the trademark pink box. Yeah, the pink box. You can see that thing. Oh my god. It was pioneered by the Cambodians. Amazing. Now, they got outdone by these yuppie donut stores.

Like, I don't know, I've listed them, but the yuppie donut stores have shit like kombucha donuts, and Samoa donuts, donut sandwiches. Donuts you eat. Donuts I've seen. They'll always have something good like a maple bacon donut or a donut with fruity pebbles on it or something like that. They'll have a couple. They'll have a couple. You're saying those are good.

Yeah, they'll have a couple good ones that make up for the rest of them. And you think, oh man, what a pain in the ass to go get a $5 donut to go to wherever the gentrifying is taking place, where the parking is terrible, where everyone walks around acting like an asshole, where nobody has their therapy dog on a leash. And I'm gonna fight through it to get a, to spend $20 on donuts, which already makes me feel bad. But, but surely you think, surely the Cambodian donut people will easily adapt,

will easily see this. You know, they built their whole donut empire with noticing trends and getting on top of it. Surely they'll see this and mimic the good ones, right? Right. So I go in to the poor, to the Cambodian donut store where they're all over the place. There's like five Cambodian donut stores that I have to pass to get to the hipster donut store or to get to the Whole Foods version of the donut store.

You go in and say, OK, yeah, let me let me see what you got. And it's like two or three donuts of every kind, like those shriveled up ones with the chocolate. Like you mean like the old fashioned donuts? Yeah, like old fashioned ones and the curled up ones. But it's just like regular brown frosting. And there's only a couple of those. There's donuts in a long, wrong shelf with other donuts like chocolate and vanilla together. And I say, well, do you have any like maple donuts with bacon on it?

No, they're not going to have that. Why would they? Because it's what everybody wants. Everybody wants... Some guys just want like a chocolate frosted donut. It's like the working man's donut. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like a little, a little, it's got to have a little bit.

It's got to, they haven't, they haven't changed donuts in 20 years. Yeah. They're still charging like $1.50. You're telling me they can't make some bacon and put it on the donut like a little bit just to improve the donuts a little bit compared to what the fancy rip off DoorDash donuts are. Sure. I don't understand what the current economics of the donut

shop are. Sure. I don't understand what the current economics of the donut shop are. Like, do people go to the donut shop? Is that a thing? Well, I don't know. Either they either they're going to be used to be you would wake up. I think you're a 1980s business guy. You're on your way to the office and you go, yeah, I'm gonna get a hot cup of Joe Yeah, and a big old donut. Maybe I'll get two donuts. So Shelley and accounting can also have a donut Yeah, and now I think about those guys I'm like that guy probably has like an egg white flat from the fucking Starbucks or something who's going to the donut shop Nobody cuz they're not there cuz they're lazy. That's my whole problem poor lazy not there because they're lazy. That's my whole problem. Poor, lazy donut makers. They're fucking lazy. That's why that's why that's why I haven't updated the model. What they

haven't updated the donut model. I haven't done shit in 20 years. Everybody they came in made awesome donuts made little pink box. And they've just been coasting on that for 20 years. You're telling me it's impossible, whatever their economic model is, for them to fry up 12 pieces of bacon and put them on the donut. Like I have to drive to Pasadena to get these sidecar donuts where it tastes like... We don't have to, but sure. I have to. It's like it's sizzling. It's like it's carbon. The doughnut is like carbonated, right? Yeah. I'm trying. I live, I don't know, point two miles away from a doughnut shop, but I have to drive

past that where I can spend three dollars on a doughnut. Get a doughnut. I have to drive past that, get on the freeway, go 15 minutes into Pasadena, park at like a Whole Foods Prime, and then wait in line for a donut that tastes like it's carbonated, when I know that those Cambodians could whip that up in like, you know, one day. Just put a little bit of effort into it. Put a little bit of effort into your business. But that's not their model.

Their model is it's shit donuts and shit coffee. That's what they want to do. They want to make their little crap. No. No, no, no, no. That's not good. The Mexican day laborers roll up before they go to the Home Depot and they get some donuts for the boys.

The Mexican day laborers deserve carbonated donuts too. Just like you. They're not going to eat that. They don't know that. But they would enjoy it. They would enjoy it. They might enjoy it. The Mexican day laborers would enjoy a little bit of bacon

on their maple donuts. They would like a little bit of a fruity pebbles on their donuts. They would like a donut- Why do you want fruity pebbles? I've never had a fruity pebbles donut. You really like the fruity pebbles donut? No, not really.

Why would I want crunchy stuff on the outside of a donut? That doesn't make sense to me. I don't know, but somebody likes it cause it's there every time I go in and there's a bunch missing. So somebody likes it. That's my point is... But your problem is you can get that thing. You're just mad that the place closer to your house doesn't also have it.

They should be... These doughnut... The poor lazy doughnut manufacturing people, mom and pop shops, should be fighting tooth and nail to innovate and keep up with and destroy the yuppie donut stores. And they're not. They're not doing a god damn thing. I don't know their margins. I don't know if they're making money. Yeah, because they have lottery tickets. That's all they're doing. It's just a front for lottery tickets. You're right. So they don't need to sell anything else. And they sell lottery tickets. You know what? You make a very good point. It's literally just they probably make all their money from the lottery tickets.

The donuts are like for fun. It's like something to look at. I want a donut. I don't want a fucking lottery ticket. I go to the gas station to get that. Well, they do eventually hop on the trends. Like every donut place has boba tea 10 years late now. So you can get a boba tea if you go. I don't want boba tea. I want a good. Well, you got to wait another 10 years. They're slow to adapt. But they weren't, they weren't always, they were right on top of it, man.

They would, they ran Winchell's right out of town, but now lazy. Good for nothing. Have you tried going in there with a picture of your bacon, maple donut and going, Hey, could you guys make this? No, they don't know what I'm talking about. They're like, why are we? No, why would we make that? They go, are you going to buy some lottery tickets?

I think all the money those places make is selling cans of Red Bull and lottery tickets. That's the only thing I ever see anybody buy from there. No one's buying the fucking donut. I want to show them my Grubhub account history. Say here, look, see this? This is why you need to make the carbonated donuts. Well, that's another reason

why this problem makes no sense, is you now can just have a taxi bring you the donut. You don't gotta go anywhere. That's not good for you, man. No shit, it's not good for you, but eating a maple frosted bacon donut also ain't good for you. No, eating a donut is fine.

If it's, you know. It's getting delivered is the problem. If it's getting delivered as the problem, dessert, but getting things delivered too much, that's bad for your soul. That's bad for you. That's bad for you in a way like that. The vaccine is bad for you. Like you don't know what's going to be bad. Well, obviously I don't know if you saw the news that Caleb Hammers, the production team really wants me to come on for a financial audit.

And I haven't reached out back to them. You should be, but it would be weird because like, I'm not, I'm not like financially struggling. I just make poor financial decisions. You know, uh, like I'm not like poor, but I just spend money on things that no human being should spend money on. Does your bank, does your bank statements agree with what you're saying? My bank statements would say, what is this man doing? But whatever.

They'd say, why is there $40,000 in magic card? $20,000. I don't know how much magic cards are, but those are investments in a business. I got a business going on here. That's why it'd be so good to see you on the show. So you could prove to these guys that you don't belong there. Did you see the message that they sent the producer? Yeah.

It said, I have spent so much money on toys and magic cards that I cannot afford a door for my bathroom. And apparently that was the magic phrase that has their producer texting me all last week like, Hey, man, we can just do a quick phone chat. See what's going on. You know, I think it might be good. Yeah. I'm getting a lot of text from this lady. I said I would consider doing it in the next couple months. Maybe I got to get back to her. Right now we're a little busy. Go on and promote your video. There you go. When I have something to promote,

then I'll make a big appearance. All right, Dick, well, I'm sorry. You can't just put bacon on your own donut. No, then I gotta make bacon. It's not that hard to make bacon. 15 minutes. I gotta go buy bacon then. Is the lady craving maple bacon donuts these days? No. and Like shooting yeah, there's nothing like that There's no like I have to eat a pickle or something. They all say it's real, but I didn't see it. So

I think women are just like doing a thing where they can eat as much as they want Lying about it to how much popcorn did she have at the movie like this much? Now she's not so the whole the sitcoms live to me. I was so pissed off I had to throw an entire thing of popcorn away. I know. I wanted a sitcom where it's like, can you go get me another tub for the baby? Where are the comical craving stories? This is my real problem is I'm not getting the hilarious pregnancy shenanigans that the sitcoms have promised me for so many years. Sorry. It's all right.

I'm looking forward to the very special episode where the child is born. Here's my problem, Dick. Remember when drones started becoming a thing? We're like, cool drones. Yeah. Well, first, cool drones. Yeah. Well, first they were coming out and they were like bombing like brown people

and we're like, ah, what are you gonna do? But then we started getting them to fly around ourselves. Yeah. And we said, cool. Well, there's a lot of great ways this could be. We can film all sorts of weird commercials with them. We can get, it's fun to fly around and see what's going on in your neighborhood, you know?

My problem is every time there's a new piece of technology that seems even slightly exciting, the man finds a way to ruin it for, just turn it into the worst fucking thing ever. You know they made an eagle at national parks, drones? Really? Yeah. That's so stupid.

It's like a flying. What's it gonna do? Hit an eagle and kill it? I don't, I really don't know. Maybe. Yeah. Yeah, well, the one place I would want to use it is a national park. Anytime something fun shows up, first we have to regulate it into the ground.

We're not allowed to use them, but Dick, you know who is allowed to use them? Cops. regulated into the ground. We're not allowed to use them, Dick. You know who is allowed to use them? Brian County, Georgia Sheriff's Office, which has just announced that they are very excited about their new drone program. And you're like, Okay, why would the sheriff need? Oh, maybe if there's like, like a hostage situation. Yeah, we can look for we even that I would go. Yeah, we'll look for weed fields that I would go. Yeah, we'll look for Weedfields. I don't love it. Dick, these drones will now hover above the road to look for drivers who are texting or not wearing their seatbelts.

Fuck off. They have already begun pulling people over and the people go, what the fuck's going on? They go, well, we have a drone hovering, zooming into cars to see if people are on their cell phones or not wearing their seatbelt, which I went, so hold on, you guys spent a lot of money on this, right? The cops said we got to get these drones, they're probably, you know, $5,000 get a military grade

drone with a precision camera. Just so you can get ticket revenue from people who aren't wearing their seat belt, that's what you thought of? That's your job as a cop? Is to go, I got to protect the people. I got to get the best possible technology. At least when, remember when there

was that bank robbery in LA and the cops said we need assault rifles and you said well I don't think you're really needed a fucking assault rifle But at least you can kind of justify like we gotta buy the best assault rifles in case another way that we can You know, okay, and they said we need tanks. We need all these armor personnel characters We said all right, you guys could have a take whatever you need the drones so you can see if I'm wearing my seat belt That's a necessity. You have to spend money on that. And it's like it's like 95% of people wearing their seat belt now. It's something

it's something outrageous. It's something so high that you would think all right this is like this is as high as it's gonna be. Yeah and also let's be clear sometimes if you're not wearing your seat belt you're like oh I just you know I'm gonna put on, I forgot to put it on. What's going to happen? I'm going to fly through the window and kill a million people. What is the worst thing that ever happened? I know we did seatbelts before, but we don't care at this point. Yeah, everybody knows to wear the seatbelt now. You don't got to worry about it. Now it just is a way for you to make a couple extra dollars. That's it. Yeah. Because if you have a government figure out how to make money without investing in fuck.

What are they going to do next is just constantly scan you and they get home and there's a letter in the mail that goes, oh, we noticed when you were walking around, you're wearing the wrong color and you jaywalked here. So you owe $25 for going outside today. We tracked every single fucking thing you did and you owe $125 for leaving that. No one's going to leave the house if we're just going to be tracked every fucking second.

You know, they could probably just send the texting and driving tickets out to everyone all the time. Yeah, we got it on camera. Who knows? And everyone's doing it. So I don't know what the... The texting and driving. OK, I know. You know, right. First of all, we do need to make it legal to text while drive because shut them.

Who cares? Yes, 100 percent. If you if you could take a test, you got to take a test. No. All right. I'm allowed to text and drive now. I've been texting and driving forever and nothing bad has happened at all. Uh huh. It's actually like incredible how good a driver I am with the texting. I'm doing all sorts of stuff on the phone. I'm sure.

It should be totally legal. You should have... I put my screen... I put YouTube up. I have a mount. I watch TV shows or whatever while I'm driving around. That doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

Just put shit on. All right. I don't need a drone cutting down on my fun. It's going to be looking through the window being like, ah, what's he doing? Not allowed. Well, get ready for it. Those drones are going to find a lot more than texting and driving. I mean, it really tells you that our economies are completely fucked.

If the only way the government can think of to make money is to just invest in super surveillance drones to get us on stupid bullshit they can ticket us for. You're like, bro, is there no other way for the government to function? And like, this is it? I mean, wait, you think this is about revenue? Yeah, that's the only reason they have those tickets. Uh, the traffic enforcement, the cops. Yeah, it's just a fucking money making wing for the government. The track of the enforcement. They don I don't care. No, they they care.

Cops, they care because they've been tricked into caring people. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Hurting us financially. I mean, tricked like, yeah, it was real hard to trick them. And here's the gun. Go do whatever you want. Awesome. What's what's the best way cops get a badge and a gun? They what's the best way I could fuck with people. And they're like, actually, surprise.

Surprisingly, you're not the first one to ask this here. The cops get a badge and a gun, they go, what's the best way I could fuck with people? And they're like, actually, surprisingly, you're not the first one to ask this. Here, we have this book of laws that we made that's the easiest way to fuck people over and safest for you to fuck people over. Go enforce those. What about murder and stuff? Ah, don't worry about it.

Any of the- We're not worried about any of that. We got no time for that. Any of the dangerous crimes, just blow them off. I will say this. You saw in Britain that they started putting traffic cameras all over London or whatever. Yeah, they've had CCTV there for a long time. Right, but there's a group of guys, well, they specifically were putting in like traffic cameras, I think it was. It might be just CCTV in general.

There's a group of hooligans who are coordinated and they all have angle grinders and they're just going around cutting down the polls because the cost to replace the fucking poll is like an unfathomable amount. And they've cut down hundreds of them. Eventually the government's gotten to the point where they're like, shit, the amount of money we were going to make ticketing people does not offset, you know, everybody cutting these fucking things down. Yeah.

So all I'm saying is this is America. If you see a thing flying in the sky, it could be a terrorist drone. It could be anything. It drones down. That's funny. Like, you don't know what that is. And it could crash in your car if it runs out of battery. It's very, very dangerous.

So yeah, throw rocks at it, maybe just to check to make sure it is a cop one. You can't be sure. You don't know who's flying those fucking things. We have the power to push back a little bit and sometimes you got to do it. They won't do anything but fuck with people who are basically following the law. Basically. But if you go and shoplift a bunch of stuff, then all of a sudden it's like you guys are fine. Do whatever you want. It's funny. As much as you want. I've got this guy 50 times. It's not a felony anymore. Who cares? You want to shit in the street. You want to take some fentanyl in front of the kids and leave needles everywhere? That's fine. Yeah, homeless people don't care. Why

are you on your phone? Why are you on a piece of technology? Why are you not wearing a belt? We live in a society. All right. Is that it? That's it. That's your problem. My problems were bad movie guilt, I guess, and lazy, the lazy, the lazy camp, the lazy Cambodian donut shops. And mine was everyone is a cancer doctor. You think we would have cured cancer by now. Using tech to make life worse. Oh, that's a good one. Using tech to make life worse. Oh, that's a good one. Using tech to make life worse.

All right. Yeah, that seems to be our. I mean, that could be a lot. Using tech to make life worse, to make life. Worse. I mean, you could put traffic drones if you think it's too broad, but. I don't know. You tell me.

Traffic using traffic drones is pretty specific. I don't fucking care. It doesn't matter. I don't have any voicemails. You read super chats. No, but let's do it. Hold on. Studio dot YouTube dot com.

Guys, vote on the problems. The biggest problem that show. Get your super chats in. Don't forget to check out my channel, YouTube dot com slash Vito to where I've been uploading a variety of exciting new videos. What have you been up to, Dick? Work. How's work?

Great. When's that kid coming out? Sometime in July. Wow. Find him? I think I have found them. Yes. I want to thank all our members also who have signed up for our membership program. Oh yeah, I can actually do this now. You can spotlight. Yeah, the only problem is that it doesn't let you go that far back with the super chats. Because otherwise you could put them all on the screen, right?

I don't know. All right. Did you find it? I have found it. Here we go. I have to zoom out a little bit so I can read them and now I'm printing them for some reason. Sometimes you hit the wrong button. It's not a big deal. Okay.

Print. I don't a big deal. Okay. How do you print? I don't know what's going on. It like won't make them a size I can read. What is happening? Oh, man. Mr. All over everyone else for their sizing issues. This is bizarre. I'm having a big problem here.

It's like cutting them off 100%. How's your screen cutting off text? It like I have to like scroll over to read the super chip. What are you looking at it on? Maybe I gotta put it on this other monitor. Let me try it on the other monitor. Oh is that your color monitor? Yeah, that's my color monitor Dude I have no fucking idea why all right, whatever I guess I'll get through it somehow Oh, it's dude. It's fucked up on mine, too. What the hell? Yeah YouTube I think changed some stuff recently

I can't see the whole super chat. I have to scroll around. It's fucking weird Okay. Well, that's super annoying Straturgery for five everyone get your super chats in vote on all the problems the biggest problem that show Stukae for two and life gives you lemons you eat them dribbles for two lemons Give you a life when you eat them the locks for five. You're walking a thin prank with them hard yards Vito Be careful you scallywag go for for two, thanks for not killing yourselves. Dick's eardrum for five, eee. Dick's Masterson, more like Dex messed up one.

Great. Dasanti Offroad for five, just got the super killer email update, it sounds promising but as usual, keeping the hopes high and expectations low. I think it looks good. Skitsa Sean for 10, come hang out with me on the after problem live after the show. I'm discussing my plans to pull up live on Eric July IRL next week, only on Skitsa Sean

TV. Guys, that's Skitsa Sean TV on YouTube. Hotfar Dingled Door 5. 15 minutes before the show, Vito was commenting on Reddit posts in regard to another super killer update. Get off Reddit, Vito. That's so bad. Your Reddit and YouTube comments, replies are so bad. What do you mean? You're great. You're replying to people on YouTube like, well, if you don't like it, then you don't have to watch the show. Yes, absolutely. Everyone just...

Why? All they do is go, oh, the show sucks, Vito sucks, and I hate the show. Stop watching if you don't like the show. It's not that hard. The show is good. It's hard to imagine signaling to people that they've got you more than that. More than like, oh yeah? Well, I'm on YouTube too. Well, stop watching if you don't like it so much then. I just, I don't get, I don't understand this culture

where you have to obsess over a thing you don't like and constantly comment about how you don't like it. You know? Wait, what? Like, why are you watching it then? Why do you watch Marvel movies? I knew you were gonna make that comparison immediately. I watched it because-

What you're saying is retarded. Everybody watches stuff and then bitches about it. Yeah, but I'm watching it because I'm interested in learning how to like- Oh, the way you do it is better than them. Okay, okay I'm not watching the podcast. I hate to like analyze the art of podcasting You know to like break it down and make like videos about it Yeah, but you do it to movies or yeah because because I'm interested in movies and comic books

I mean, I guess are these guys just generic fans of the idea of podcasting? So they have to watch bad podcasts to learn how to make them better? I think they just like making shitty comments. Okay. I think a lot of these guys' lives are gonna be a lot better

when they just stop listening to the show. Norma Scott It's insane what you're saying. It's fine. I'm fine. It's totally insane going around telling people not to watch your show if they don't like it on YouTube is fucking nuts I Don't think it's nuts. I genuinely don't know why you're watching it. If you don't like it, why are you watching it? Do you go to other YouTube channels and tell random comments the same thing?

If you don't like the show, why are you watching it? If I see a comment that's like, oh, this was total shit, I'd be like, well, dude, get out of here. This is a good channel. If I like the channel, yeah, I'd say that. You don't just go to random ones? If I'm watching a video and I see a comment, no, I don't think so, no.

It's just when people are critical of you. Why are you watching it? I don't understand. What are you getting out of it? Uh... Alright, leave... okay, leave another comment about, oh, the show sucks and this sucks and I hate this.

I don't know what you get out of it. Yeah, I've seen a lot of people go down this path. It's a bad, bad path. It's not a bad path. It's a perfectly good path. Here's the thing is you like value people who hate the show for some reason. And I just have no... When somebody says I hate the show and I hate this and I hate whatever.

When they leave a negative comment? Yeah. What are you talking about? I value, yeah, I mean. Why do you assign any positive, why do you value that comment? It's interaction. All engagement is good.

Okay, then me telling them to eat shit is interaction and you should value that. No, you are, I'm telling you, it looks crazy and that I think it is crazy for you to do that. It's totally normal to watch some shit and say, I hate this. Fuck you. That's normal. But it's normal for me to say later and going in there and saying, oh, yeah, well, you don't have to watch this if you don't like it.

That's fucking no. I think I think you got I think certain people have defined that as crazy Yeah, I absolutely I 100% value creators who tell people to fucking eat shit I think that's great with value creators who go into individual YouTube comments. Yes Yes. Yes, they're usually right who else I had an exam. I'm trying to think, but I've definitely seen it. I mean, there's guys who go like, look, let's be real. The masses are not always correct. I see a lot of like situations where like

Who guys on YouTube telling you to fuck yourself are not the masses? No, but I'm saying I've seen, okay, remember when Colleen whatever put out that apology where she played the ukulele or whatever and made fun of the fucking bullshit allegations against her. I didn't know what was going on there but I remembered that that happened. Yeah that woman was a genius and everybody was mad at her and said it was a bad apology and that she's a bad person is nuts. Well she made a video. That's not. But I'm saying she took her haters...

She went way steps above. She took her haters. She made a whole fucking song about it. That was like art. She didn't like lash out at fans. Well, it ended up everybody hated it. But I still think it was genius and that she's one of the greatest... That's one of the greatest things, one of the greatest artistic expressions I've seen on this platform. Do you think that's what you're doing, arguing things on YouTube?

I think that I'm, well, here's the thing is like, how do I explain this? I don't care about YouTube, right? Well, but you left a comment, so you clearly care. No, but I'm saying the overall, oh, this is the YouTube ecosystem. And we have to celebrate engagement and be positive. No.

If you're watching YouTube videos, more than like, what was that? What was all that? The whole, there's a YouTube community and the spirit of YouTube and whatever else community. What's that the idea that like? oh, you know, we're gonna be a positive and Not you were mr. Toxic positivity

Remember everyone everything was positive not not in regards to people who are being shitty to me I'm not gonna tell them hey, I love you and give them a hug I'm positive about my life this court all day. What are you talking about? I'm positive always positive shit Yeah, I'm very I'm very positive about my life and what I'm doing I'm making a video game. It's gonna be great I'm making a comic book. It's gonna be great. Go read the update I might make a video game. There's nothing stopping me. Well, there's a lot stopping you. If I can get programmers.

Look, yes, I got to... Every journey begins with a single step. Every journey begins with stop arguing with YouTube commenters. But I don't want to stop arguing with YouTube commenters. Oh, no, I'm only saying this for like comedic, the comedic effect. But I know there's, I know you won't stop. It's a- You're saying, you're saying-

Okay. When you say it for the commi- Okay. I don't know. I'm saying it to be funny. Cause I know that the answer is no, I'm not going to stop. But you're saying, you're saying what? It has a negative impact on me or the channel or what? All of the above yeah. Yeah but I

don't like these people who leave these negative comments. Well well what you're doing is giving them the greatest thing they could ever have by spazzing out and reacting to it. But I'm getting the greatest thing I ever have, which is telling them off, which makes me feel good. Okay. So we both benefit. It's a win-win then. What am I talking about?

It's win-win. Yeah, it is win-win. I get to tell them, hey, eat shit. Fuck you. I don't care if you don't like the show. Get out of here. Yeah. Keep doing it then.

I am going to keep doing it. 100%. Let's see. Where are we? 15 minutes before the show. Got it. Enormous scone for two. Vito, you need to get better at health and fitness. Cody Titus for two. Vito needs to go to rehab for the meth problem. Purple Paws for 20. Biggest problem is European sensibilities. Blocko Boy for five. Biggest problem is traveling hundreds of. Block a boy for five. Biggest problem is traveling hundreds of miles to discuss who ate cum. I don't want to talk about it ever again.

That was a highlight of the hack a mania discussion. TBF for five. Instead of wasting time writing the SK non-update, you could have bathed to try and tame that wretched stench that follows you around like failure. I smell pretty good, I think. Greg's Deck it for five. Having to reset my PC because Nvidia's shitty drivers brick the computer. That pisses me off.

Wow. Unpleasant for five. The length of veto will go to not get on the stale Blanco boy for five. Eric July's biggest mistake was not hiring veto to hyperventilate over harmless trolls for the rip-a-verse Hyperventilate Poda for two understatement Blanco boy the cat on the desk is real degenerate behavior. I love my Oglovitch for five donate to veto so you can improve his microphone setup and I don't know three years after it's promised Son of a bitch VEET beats. I still watch your videos

Well, don't forget to go to youtube.com slash veto to where I've been uploading videos Strategy for 10 imagine going through depression. So I boot up AI Chuck Dixon to cheer me up But instead of getting healing advice, he tells me that the Dix in my ass or paramount Nobody wants that Dixon Paramount. Nobody wants that Dixon beats. Oh yeah. Pineapple Man for five. Concerned it made me sleepy. Interesting. It's not doing that for me.

Pineapple Man's very quirky. Shout out to Baggish Schmidt. Can't wait to play baby football at the park this weekend. Justin Brodyk for two. Wow, Vito invented Solitaire. What a genius. It's gonna be amazing, Justin. Aklovich for two.

I'm something of a grinder, UI tester myself, Vito. Lemon Trajji for five says these custom cards are honestly less impressive than Maddox's Wonder Sonic. No, no. Those cards with like pictures of a dog and then a bunch of boxes. What the fuck is that? Those look great, what are you talking about?

Those are great looking cards. It's just a bunch of squares. That's what cards are, you want the information, the artwork is supposed to do the work! How could it possibly be like, how could it register as like a graphic design win when it's just a picture somebody else took and then squares? A picture somebody else took? Well the squares are, look man, there's a lot of visual information on the cards that has to be represented That I found room for now It's possible that I could update the graphical template at some point. This was an early production

But uh, I mean, what do you want? You want a little like people come home from work and say like look honey I made this spreadsheet. Will you put it on the fridge? Like that's what it makes me think of. You want a little extra texture on it? I mean these are table. Look at this. These are these are mock-ups Yeah, share this screen. I just sent you real quick. All right Is that working yeah, there you go, this was the Bob's burgers spin-off variant which We almost got the Bob's Burgers spin-off variant, which we almost got the Bob's Burgers license. There's the...

Okay, so what am I looking at here? You're looking at this incredible look, see? And then you would have room on there. See, the problem is that it needs these big slides. Let's go back to the other one. Let me like blow it up or something so I can see it. Hold on one second. So this, you designed this?

Yes. Okay. There you go. That would be your, uh, your team. Okay. Zoom in so people could see it. I don't know. Is it zooming in?

There, there, there. Yeah. Okay. So, so it's a, it's a picture of Bob's burger. Yeah. There you go. Did you put the background in? Yes, I did put the background in.

So you had to like do the lasso tool? I had to use the lasso tool. You can see I didn't do a very good job because her hair's not that well cut out and obviously there's no bottom of their body because that's not available. You could have drawn it. This is like from like eight years ago, whatever.

I mean, yeah, I could have drawn it in. I could have made a graphic design is putting if you look, I did like stretch it out a little bit. His arms like weird. Yeah, the graphic design is I made some boxes, I found a nice font, whatever. You could have added. How come it's not like aligned left or justified this stuff? This is a line center. Yeah. I wanted to

align to the center. I like center. I mean it's aligned up here. This looks nice. It's very nice. So you picked like the orange, the box on the orange. Yeah it's a clean and simple design. Look if we wanted that we could add some texture later. This is just a mock-up. So who couldn't have done this in your mind? I Think that if I told you how the game plays and said you need to design a card that can Incorporate all the different aspects of the game you would have trouble getting at this point. It took a lot of figuring out Can you zoom in on this I can't really see it's so good you really can't Can you zoom in on this? I can't really see it so good.

You really can't? No, it's just Teddy. Okay, so you have to be- Bergete. You have to have room for the cost of the character. You have to have room for how much- But it's just like Magic Cards. Like it looks exactly like a Magic Card.

It does look like Magic Cards because as you can see here, there's these slots. Now these are filled. Whenever you roll dice, you gain energy that you have to have large enough icons on the card that you can put counter here. So each of these can have a counter on top of it. So you put counters on the card, okay, and then it has the cards on the top, then you have exactly like Pokemon, it's got the bottom. Well, you also

have because each each character has an associated die, which is the dice you roll when you have that character. So those dice also have to have you know their own Layout how so how many what percentage of people do you think can do this? I Don't know anybody with Photoshop and a little bit of Can do attitude I suppose with Photoshop and a little bit of can-do attitude, I suppose. You can replicate it, but the problem is figuring out how to lay it out without it taking up too much room or whatever. There were some versions that looked terrible. How many people do you think could do that? Less than 1%. Okay. I don't know. I've never thought about it. There was like, look, it used to this looked worse.

This was back when, you know, it was too much and the colors were wrong. And this is the old version. Not good. A little yellow to yellow. There's too much going on. I mean, this is all about refining your graphic design. All right. Let's get through these super chats. Where are they at here? I'm just saying, I mean, I'm a pretty good graphic designer and it is my passion

Let's see super chats here Custom cards worse than Maddox's blender sonic just I've been five videos should sell people on a game about orbs and or open with boring trapezoid levels Justin Broderick five you don't uppers makes him fatter because he has energy to go to buffets Frog Tony for two I was right no video from video today lazy as fuck I might upload it tonight a carl for 10 video you get a good ff14 cards. I'm looking to buy They're not out yet Mike hunt for two I get butch killigan three before super killer. No, maybe When push killing in three coming out, I don't know Unlessigan three before Superkiller. No, maybe. When Butch Killigan three coming out.

I don't know. Unless it comes out in the next couple of months. No. Coach cake for five. The McDonald's ad is un-listenable. Pigeon for 10. Sugar is the number one US drug. Coach cake for 10.

Fans of the old show will get this. This show feels identical to the last 10, 15 episodes of the old show. Like trying to bang while you know you can't keep it up much longer. Coach, I felt the same way. When did you feel the same way? He's right. Coach Cake is right. He's very perceptive.

The show is bad now? No. Is the show good or bad? It's great. What's great about it? Everything. All the show good or bad? It's great. Well, what's great about it? Everything. All the jokes are great. Ian Miller for two, no booty,

you only get two to be fair. Fad for 200. THBs, nobody wants your deck builder Vito. Trust me, I'm making one. You're five years too late. Bellatro is the exception because it's so different. You think you know better, but you don't, please finish the comic.

I already made a deck builder. It's called Star-Om's. If big food sponsored but you don't please finish the comic. I already made a deck builder. It's called Star Roams. If big food sponsored Vito, he'd eat the profits. Porco, Roman, O'Como for 10. In the call in, I hated on chef culture. Yes, as part of the call in show. My fan state chef's response. We have to be chefs, plumbers, HR, et cetera, bullshit positions for the least thankful,

fat entitled customers. Let us be cool. Yeah, you're all amazing. Coach Cake for five. Dr. Strangelove is probably the most famous black comedy and that movie's great. I've never heard it called a black comedy though. I definitely have.

I mean, if you said to me, if you said to me Dr. Strangelove is a black comedy, I would agree with you. Drunken Atheist Studio for five, friendship was like Tim inserting his shtick into a random dark comedy. Yeah, that's what I thought. It doesn't really work.

It's also very slow. I think you should leave the movie. It is not. Yeah, it's a big disappointment. Euthanasia Enthusiast for 279, Vito's audience sucks. His jokes suck too. Oh, Jake Aubrey, number five. Does anybody else feel like the abundant release

of bad movies and games is a Psy-op to distract us from global conspiracies? No, I think it's just 20 years of promoting minorities and women into roles where they cannot function at a professional level. Has destroyed all of it. Did you see the preview for the new season of Rick and Morty? I don't even think it was a joke. It was like, and I went, a woman definitely wrote this.

It's like summer walking into school and the teacher being like, you have to go change your shirt because I can see your nipples. And I'm like, well, that's not a joke, really. Nerdy Diggers five says oink. Youth and Asian enthusiast for 6.99. Did Vito get tired of being weighed? Is that why he's calling in? No, my ears are fucked.

Other side of the fence for two. Johnson blocked me. He can't brag. Human Dynamo for five. Dick listen to cricket sounds on repeat at night. It habituated my tinnitus. I got spikes in the beginning that scared the shit out of me now I'm good it's the tinnitus I get ignored it's the pain that's a that's a real big

problem the sound is just way too way too painful but is it getting any better and now not really not not, I don't know. Maybe it's getting a little better in the last week. I don't know. Do you think it's valid? Well, I mean, whatever. I don't know. Johnny Rico for five.

Why is Johnny allowed in the studio, but not Vito is it the smell? No. Human Dynamo for two. Dick is allergic to Vito. Maybe. Hot Fart Dingle Door for five. Seeing the state of Vito's personal property

makes me wanna clean my own abode. Abode. Let us know how it turns out. Jav City for two. Imagine out eating not only a Zempik, but also meth. It is, if you can out eat a Zempik, you can out eat meth. Void for 20. Love your appearance on Hackamania, boys.

Vito less than dick. I'd go to Boston, but my friend decided to screw me and have his wedding that weekend. Blow it off. It probably won't work out anyway. James G for two. Vito should go on Caleb Hammer and outdo Boogie. That would be awesome.

Void for five. Also love the Indy 500 shirt. I worked for the local screen printing company that made them. Oh wow, I love this shirt. It's ready to fall apart though any day now, but it's been like that for awhile. Johnny Rico for five, drones scare birds off nests,

stress out animals because they see them as predators, mess with bird flight paths, et cetera. They disturb wildlife, thus the ban. Yeah, but who cares? I never understood caring about birds. It's so weird to me. Don't we have enough birds? The National Park is there for us to enjoy.

They're not there for birds to enjoy. They're there for humans to enjoy. So let us fly the drones around and get cool shots. It's not that big a deal. The park is huge. And fuck birds. Dweb Winkle for five. I feel like getting cancer is a big enough downside to getting cancer. You don't need a bunch of slack-jod Neanderthals helping you. Yeah, I mean, I can't imagine that

being annoying either. Enormous Cut for two. Vito the meth-fueled bigger pigger. Pigeon for ten. Turns out the Ukraine FPV drones are the second worst thing you can do with a drone. Yeah, no shit LJ clobbering over to veto. Do you rock a fedora and a trench coat in public? Maybe I should Mr. In Mar Imrath for to hashtag veto nation. There you go. Let's see if there's any more There is Kel Maz for five. Happy Friday daddies. Void for five. Vito, I love you, but you actively hurt Masterson's numbers and you know it. I have completely trashed the Dick Masterson brand.

Euthanasia enthusiast for 279 says Vito sucks. Mike Hod for two. Don't tell me you don't like my show says Patty Sinko. Is that the guy with the fast food show? Whatever you can think of as a show, he has a show on it. Yes. All I know is everything I do works. So what's the problem? Don't tell me you don't like my show.

Don't tell me you don't like my show. Don't tell me you don't like my show. All I know is we're making great entertainment. Void for five, God with the amount of us. Vito sounds exactly like Stut Joe. Ulam Ahthi for 10, bro, this arguments are peaking at the future. Vito's speed running is a set into insane meth head status.

This is the first thing that's ever done. I know, I can see it too. Maddox could never, what are you talking about? We're getting all sorts of stuff done. Super killer is looking good. Don't tell me those updates. You saw the updates. You see that comic book? Change the colors? It's just Grey Goo at this point.

Now, Act The Movie says he's hanging out with some piss whore. Got it. Human Dynamo for two. Cards are Vito's rectangle, Hell Future. Flirk, respect for 10, congratulations on your Nick Fuentes shout out. Thank you. When did you get a Nick Fuentes shout out? On his show. Oh, he seemed happy to be talking about me too. That's wonderful.

He's really fantastic. Bo Blacks really does not like Nick Fuentes. Well, you know. I've been talking to Bo Blacks. Oh, you know, I've been talking to Bo Blacks. Oh, you have? Yeah. I said, Hey, Bo Blacks, if I did a, if I did a show, like a live, I don't know if it would be a panel show or what I said, would you want to do that? And he said, yeah.

Well, you make a video game. Maybe he would help you with that too. Bo Blacks has great ideas for video games as we all know, because remember he couldn't, he couldn't tell me his idea because it was too good. What you need is two or three meth heads popping concertas and just hammering out ideas man. You guys just get around in a circle pop some concertas and say here's an idea here's an idea and they're like riffing on ideas and like man this is gonna be amazing man. Here's what I don't get I told you I was taking Concerta like a year ago. It's not a new thing.

It didn't just happen. Remember you were mad at me there's one time? You're like, so you're telling me there's a magic pill that gives you energy for the show and you didn't take it? I said, yeah, well, sometimes I don't remember to take it. Oh, that was Concerta? That was Concerta.

It's not like I all of a sudden am on meth. I've been on meth. Yeah, that explains a lot. Explains what? What has been bad? What are you talking about what has been bad? What has been bad? The show's been great.

The show's been growing. Look at the numbers. If you look at the biggest problem over the past year we went from 1270 we were up to 2300 people paid members whatever don't it's not nothing to do with drugs, okay? I don't even take the drugs half the time when I was on the show. I know, that's what makes this piece so interesting. Is that you don't take them, you don't even take the dangerous drugs regularly.

You only take them when you need to work. It's for working. It's not dangerous, psychoactive. It's fucking Ritalin basically. Meth, it's meth. Sure, whatever, it works. Who cares? So I have big energy. The show's funny. Yeah. I do not understand the doom and gloom. Everybody acting like the show got bad when the show has been on a tremendous upswing. The fans are loving it. And everybody's like. I fucking bro. I hear the meth now. You guys are nuts. You guys are nuts.

It's it's it's exactly how meth thought works. Like, hey, that's hey, you're doing meth. I don't even understand why people are saying that this is bad. Actually, this thing has been doing the greatest it's ever been ever. It's like, uh, I was talking about the man. I could just use the numbers, man. I'm just looking at the numbers. I'm just looking at the numbers. this is bad. Actually, this thing has been doing the greatest it's ever been ever. It's like, I was talking about the math. I can just use the numbers, man. I'm just looking at the numbers. The numbers are up. What do you want me to do? All I can do is look at metrics. The metrics look good. The metrics are looking good. Yeah. If anything, we're one of the few

podcasts that has had consistent growth. If you look at other people in a similar category, they've been having trouble. I know. I used to watch the Tuesday night grift and that show just disappeared. Well, that show disappeared because I couldn't figure out a good co-host, but now I got Bo Blacks. Me and Bo Blacks could be a good show. I can't wait. All right, buddy. Let's see here. Vito stopped saying you've made a game you didn't you made trailers did bad graphic design. My graphic design was great on Star Realms. And I'm also the reason that that game does not

look like a race for the galaxy. So I saved for that game. Justin Brodyk for Tuesday Star Realms is good because it rips off Ascension. We actually tried to have Ascension publish it and they said no and they lost out on a bunch of free money Drainage Abe thoughts on mr. Girls physics theory that the universe is a black hole using is using chat GPT to learn and write Yeah, I don't think that's correct, but I approve of his ability to To say it. I mean, it's an old theory. I don't know why. I don't know what else there is to explore. The universe being a black hole is an old theory?

I don't know any of this. It's a very old theory. I don't know what there is left to explore in it, especially if math is not involved. True Metal Jake for five says, if every asshole was allowed to fly a drone in a national park, there would be nothing but annoying drones buzzing around while I'm trying to enjoy the national park. Oh, fuck off. There's already kids there. So they only let like a hundred people in the

national park at the same time. I think you'll be all right. Enormous skunt for two hoarding is meth related behavior. That might be true. I've been selling. I've been selling. I've been hoarding well before meth was ever involved. My friend, your meth brand is making you lash out at who? What are you talking about? Matteo Roberto at fives is this show sucks. No, this shows great. You've been Asian enthusiast for two 79 says, Oh, it's the drugs there.

Yeah. Mr. Mr. Masters engineers out here to it's the drugs there. Yeah. Mr. Mr. Masters engineers out here to lecture us about drugs being a problem. Yeah. Drugs are a huge problem. Not for me. It's an asshole. How am I an asshole?

What are you talking about? They bang right there. That's exactly what an addict would say. Dude, I'm like such a nice guy. I don't understand this. Everybody fires at me all the time and I just fire back with smiles and happiness. Wait, wait, wait. I get, let me go get my violin. Go get it. And then keep, keep, uh, keep your violin. I'm just, I don't understand.

You have the opportunity. You got a really nice guy, Vito, who's here to help you wants to be your friend and people just hate it. They hate the idea of Yeah, taking my help. They don't want to let me just let me just point out that this conversation started because somebody said your Drugs are bad for you and this turned into you crying about how you're the ultimate nice guy I'm a pretty nice guy. I think you think the meth is making me think I'm a nice guy. That's the drug addict say I'm a pretty nice guy, I think. You think the meth is making me think I'm a nice guy? That's what drug addicts say. I'm a pretty nice guy. Who have I hurt?

Who has been hurt by me? Who cares? Exactly. Meth head veto, pigeon. Meth head veto, console repair veto, always with the good show tips. I think you guys just don't understand how to have a nice guy around.

It like drives you nuts. You know, you're like, oh, this nice guy is driving us crazy. No, we love movies. Oh, Tony is a nice guy. I do like Tony. You'll him. Oh, let off for 10. Ah ha ha ha for a fucking year.

I can't stop laughing. Fucking great. We don't never stop, man. Yep. It explains so much. Pineapple mine for food. Oh my God. There's been a lot going on that is not concerted release.

It really is. It's just extended release Ritalin. Ritalin has basically the same mechanism of action as Coke. Are you sure about that? You guys are scaring, yeah. No, it is just extended release. Well, what, Ritalin being Coke or concerted being Ritalin? Ritalin being cocaine.

Oh, I don't know that. All right. That's the end of the super chats. Very good. Well, I want to thank everybody for sticking with us. Obviously, we have one of the best podcasts around featuring two two Vito Dickies and Arsler, you definitely have ADHD and the drugs are life-changing. Get on Vivants if you can,

because it helps with binge eating. So there you go, throw another drug in. And Jared, I'm so retarded, so I don't know, I don't understand the schedule of taking ADHD drugs. Should you take the VivAnts whenever you feel like it, and then maybe if you wake up and you have a conservative feeling kind of thing, you just hop and just hurt my- I think they do say take it as needed.

If you don't feel like you need it, you're not supposed to take it. I think you're only supposed to take it, yeah, it's extended release tablet. And what are you hoarding, Jared? What are you hoarding in your house? I've been hoarding my whole life way before Concerta. Okay, I've been collecting shit forever.

The Concerta has not made me a hoarder. This is about Jared. I want to know what this guy's doing, what he's hoarding. All I know is. How many disassembled computers do you have in your garage or your mom's garage, Jared? I don't have any. Well, I don't know about you.

I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to another meth addict, Jared. All I'm saying guys is everything's coming up Vito lately. Comics looking great. Video games are going to be great. Video game, I don't know. That's on on the back burner might do a show with Bo blacks Who else should be on it? It's just like is any of that gonna happen is the Bo black show really gonna happen because it's two guys or a guy and

A woman you could what is he now? Well, that would be an excellent topic of discussion for the show, because I don't actually know. You could easily just set it up and do it tomorrow or Monday or Wednesday. What's the holdup? Right now, I'm finishing the comic book stuff, and that'll be done in the next month, month and a half. That show's going to be so much better than the comic book, though. You and Bo Blacks?

I think it could be good. My problem, my thought, it should just be us two almost. I was gonna say do a bunch of guys, but I feel like just me and Boblox talking would be pretty interesting. Oh, Jared said, I don't know about Concerta, but Vavance, you take daily, and I hold taxidermied animals in my mom's garage.

Well, he's a taxidermy man. I'm gonna taxidermy them as soon as I have time. So there you go. I've talked to our good friend, the happy warrior Pete to be a topic wrangler because he's good. He's a good news hound to that guy. You like Pete, right? Have you talked to Pete? I don't talk to online people, man. No, you would love this guy is a nice guy. I'm surprised. I'm surprised he's never interviewed you. Uh, yeah, I don't know if he might, he might have at one point, but it

doesn't sound familiar. He's a guy classes got right here. We love him. Oh no, I don't know. All right. Well guys vote on all the problems at biggest problem.show one of the top podcasts that just keeps getting better. Wait, hey Vito, the PS2 you sent me has a broken disk reader.

When did I, who did I send a PS2 to? To Void. Since you signed it. Mateo Roberto says this show sucks. No, we already got that one. Okay. Void, send me a message. I'll find out how to fix your PS2.

Goodbye, everybody. Bye. Bye Baa