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Yeah, yeah, sorry I was sorry I was ready right when it hit zero
But everything I clicked didn't work
There I think you nailed it. Yeah, that's pretty good
It was better than last gotta be some there's got to be some way to fade it in somehow
You mean what?
It's probably not actually um all alright. What are we doing here?
We're doing our very exciting podcast!
I, um-
Biggest problem in the universe.
I should have been careful what I- what I wished for.
Last week I said you should, uh, hurry up and do your show with, uh, Boblax.
I guess I wasn't specific.
That was a good run. I guess I wasn't specific. Hahahaha
That was a good run. That was a good test.
For learning Bo Black's abilities.
And now that I know them better.
Now that you've felt him out?
Yeah, now I've felt him out. Now I know him, her, they.
I actually didn't clarify that during the episode.
Yeah.
Is it, you know what?
Was I supposed to ask for pronouns?x is doing, so... Have you ever asked someone for their pronouns? No, I usually do it behind their back.
Yeah, right?
But they're always like...
But like, that's the thing, is they're like,
Oh, you should ask for pronouns, but then I feel like if I asked
Boblox for their pronouns,
it doesn't feel like
I'm asking for their pronouns.
I mean, I'm not asking for their pronouns.
I'm just asking for their pronouns.
I'm just asking for their pronouns if I asked Boblax for their pronouns
Doesn't feel like I'm insinuating something. I feel like Boblax might explode if you ask
I don't know what's going on
All I know is I've learned what Bob Blacks is gonna be great on a panel show
Oh fuck, no no no, the world doesn't need another panel show
Another panel show, that's what the world needs
No, fuck panel shows
Don't we have enough guys sitting around talking about the new Disney movie Lilo and Stitch?
Don't we have enough McLaughlin groups about Disney movies?
Couldn't you make an argument that the guys doing it now are like evil?
You know? That's the thing.
I would like to have a slightly less evil panel show.
But all you do is sit around and be catty about Disney movies.
That's all people want to hear!
All evil people could do that for a long enough time.
Good people can't do that.
Dick, I don't know what to tell ya.
Is you go on, like, this is what people want.
I don't know why.
I remember, when I started doing YouTube,
I was like, I'm not gonna make videos about Star Wars,
and then I make one video about Star Wars,
and the next thing you know,
I'm making tens of thousands of dollars.
And I go, oh, that's why they're making
videos about Star Wars. That's why. But that one is enough. But why they're making videos about Star Wars
but that's why is enough but now you're making movies about like the black
Captain America and shit that's too much it's too much you but you gotta go
where the audience I don't know like what you know like I want to make videos
about what's going on with Magic Cards but no one's gonna watch that there's no
point you know of course they what about quartering? That's how he got big, didn't he?
Yeah, but his thing is going, we gotta get all the cosplay women out of the Magic the Gathering.
No, it wasn't always like that. You're too cynical. You gotta make what you like.
Don't make what- don't make- don't make stuff for an audience you hate.
Okay, but if I made stuff I like, it would be like, today's our deep dive on the
themes of Evangelion and no one will watch. Yeah. Well, I'm not even anything
I'm a man Evangelion is like is fucked for some reason
I've made a number of videos on topics that only I care about and they just don't like what views
Like my video on battle angel Alita. It was one of my favorite videos. I'm a shit though
Can you make something that's not anime shit?
Just say you want me to make food videos. That's it. Just say it.
Anything but anime. There's a whole ton of stuff that's not anime.
Well, what do you call it? I'm going to hopefully...
I see there's a lot of snack and food reviewers.
Yeah, everybody wants the fucking food review. Everybody. So there's a new how I
trained my dragon is that what it's called how to train your dragon
flame burger at Whopper at
Burger King
So maybe I will go and obtain the fire. Do you like the burger or are you trying to like shill for the stupid movie?
I'm gonna find out. No, I don't care about the movie.
I care about the food. How come you're only making a food video when it's about how to train your
dragon then? I just looked up what the new food is. If there was a different new food, somebody said
review the McDonald's chicken strips, but they're just chicken strips. I could do it. This is like
a whole limited edition burger. This sounds a little shilly to me. It sounds a little, it sounds a little.
Do food reviews, but if the food ties into a movie
or franchise, don't do the food reviews.
Do the food review all the way.
Like do the food, this is a food review
that I'm really into and I love.
Not like I'm reviewing this fucking advertising for.
I don't know if I love it yet.
I love, maybe I will, maybe I'll go.
This is a really good burger.
I haven't tasted it yet, I don't know. That's the point of a food review
It has the stink of like movie shit on it though. You know, I know that you're doing it because the movie's out
No, I'm doing it cuz I went to Chad GPT and I said what are the new fast food menu items and it said don't forget
They're how to train your dragon burger and and lemon vibrant dragon lemonade shake. Don't use Chad GPT to make movies
Then you find the someone has to do it for me. I don't know where the new food is. I don't know
I have to Google it. I go. What's the new food?
I'm sorry. I used Chad GPT, but that's what they suggested
What is it like a hamburger with spicy sauce on it? Yeah, it's got like a red bun
Vito that sucks for a movie or for a video
Biggest fucking problem who Who cares? Nothing matters in the universe.
Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe.
Fuck me.
Oh my god, that reminds me.
I have to renew the trademark.
I think I almost forgot.
The only show that brings you that
ranks every problem in the universe, from ear afflictions
to meth addictions by BatoSci.
I'm your host, Agnes.
Joining me is Vido Gisualdi.
Everyone's favorite meth-doubt psychopath is here.
How's your meth?
For another exciting show.
How's the meth?
Yeah, how's the crankin'?
I'm running low.
I've started mixing it with stuff, you know,
and trying all sorts of different cocktails.
Yeah, I know.
You know, sometimes you make a powder,
and then you eat it up in the spoon.
Are you tracking it?
Put it on a taco.
Are you tracking the usage?
Gotta get it in the veins.
You gotta get it in the veins.
That's what my doctor said.
The little Asian lady who gave it to me, she said, have you tried heating it up and injecting
it right into the veins?
I'd love to talk to her.
What's her 900 number?
Well, 1-800...
Crack for free? Crack now. Crack for free. Crack for free.
I went to Crack for Gold, actually.
It's a new business that just opened up.
Oh, Crack for Gold.
Yeah, you trade in your lightly used gold jewelry and they just give you a crack.
Do they take toys? Crack for toys?
She's the guy on the street with a sign.
He doesn't have a building yet, but he's working on that part.
Crack for gold.
It's an exciting new time.
Electrical Joe says, Vito, you should try crack.
I heard it enhances productivity by 50%.
Yeah, I mean, probably even more.
Probably 400% crack it's a lot of things I could try
uh let's see here what is my diet exercise is not one of them though I tried to not I tried to
not bring in the mean comments but there's just too many I love the mean no you don't I'm not
participating in that it's just people don't get it it's just people you don't. I'm not participating in that.
It's just people who don't get it.
See that's why I'm not participating in it.
Because I don't want to continue this cycle of abuse.
That is mutual antagonism.
Mike Dix says, Vito, just because you're on enough meth to physically answer every comment doesn't mean you should.
Don't go down that path, dude.
Every journey begins with a single meth pill.
All right.
Here's what I'll do.
Here's what I'm going to say.
I'm going to say this.
If 10 people subscribe to veto two tonight, I will not respond to a single
comment for an entire month.
How's that?
Veto to the YouTube?
Yeah.
10's not very many. 50 I want 50
subscribers over at youtube.com slash veto TWO you can watch me complain about
Magic Cards and review the new Dragon Burger.
Or whatever dick decides because apparently I can't review the Dragon Burger.
Well can't make something that's not like about little kids stuff? Like I'm- I don't wanna watch-
It's an all ages franchise!
No it's not, all ages means kids and retarded people.
So that sounds like most people.
I think you've just summarized 95% of the world right there.
Yeah, that's what all ages means.
So right now how many subscribers do we have?
We have 13808, if we get to 138, I will not fight with the fans for a whole month.
Now you said respond to comments, not fight.
I will not even respond to comments. I will not say anything.
Diego Cortez says, Dick, what you're talking about is gentrification with the donut shops.
If those donut shops start selling sidecar donuts, the are going to be just as long.
Really, if every donut shop in LA has a...
You made me want donuts is the problem now.
You know I didn't know that...
Now I've been thinking about donuts all week.
I didn't know that donuts was an LA thing.
I never would have guessed that.
Well what do you mean an LA thing like that?
Well somebody on Reddit said what the hell is, you know, in classic Reddit way,
what's Dick's why Dick's so obsessed with donuts?
And I looked it up.
And apparently, L.A.
is like the donut capital of the world, they said.
Yeah, 100 percent.
I know all those Cambodian donut shops are not in any other part of the country.
And it's a it's like an interesting story of how it was just one guy
who convinced every Cambodian like,
hey, white people will eat these sugary treats.
So just open a doughnut shop and generate generational wealth.
Well, they should dig him up.
And the rest of the world, we have Dunkin'.
You Dunkin'.
Do you like Dunkin' Donuts?
No, fuck Dunkin' Donuts.
Well, America runs on Dunkin'. You're insulting my home state there.
Travis says, the aesthetics of Vito's feed is the same look as the Bjork stalker Ricardo Lopez, who killed himself on camera in 1996.
What do you think about that?
I like that video. I actually bumped my camera up to 720p, so I might be a little...
You mean you could have done that at any time?
I think I was at 480p.
I think that was what it defaults to.
We're broadcasting at 720p, right?
Or are we broadcasting at 1080?
We're broadcasting at 360.
Are we?
Yeah, so you're actually taxing the servers with your...
I could be taxing servers.
I can turn it down, but I won had your camera set at don't do it
You had your camera set at 420 the whole time
Resolution I guess so yeah, yeah, oh wow
That's 720 now. I do need to turn my mustache someone man
See now I could see all the end because that's normally when I read see my imperfections
Because that's normally when I record my videos. I don't want people to see all my imperfections if it's all greasy and grimy.
It's really, it's really incredible how easily distracted people get. They just can't stop reading. They can't stop reading comments or looking at themselves.
Oh, on the the web camera people?
Anyone, anyone I've ever, I always have to tilt stuff away from them and interfere with them
So they can't look at themselves. Oh now that's crisp
The god of sleep says this doesn't count as a bonus episode
I'm not contributing to this patreon only to get slop like this. Yeah, it was a fake bonus episode
It's not a real bonus episode. That was an interesting move that you did the fake fake out bonus episode
Well now we can do a real one.
Yeah.
What are you doing this weekend?
Uh, I can't do, I can't do this weekend. I can do next week though.
Maybe uh, well yeah, maybe Monday we'll come up with a theme.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Or we just do Sonic again.
Sonic-
Which would also be- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA We can bring Bo Blacks back and do it right.
Same exact problems.
Same exact problems.
What did you guys determine was the biggest problem in Sonic?
The censorship of Rouge the Bat's tits is the worst thing that ever happened to Sonic.
They cut out her cleavage, it's not okay.
Sonic's already making all the kids gay.
Why would you make them even more gay by taking out bad cleavage? That was it?
That's horrible. Then why would you censor that? The worst part, the biggest problem in Sonic is
the
the how slow you get when you lose all your rings. Like you get knocked and then you get that you gotta go
Like you get knocked and then you get that you gotta go like you're running in a dream It's the worst like it's so real. It's it's like it taps into something really primal and like a
Core memory of all these sleep terror dude
I could do like a million sonic problems, but the being trapped underwater and having to watch sonic drown as a child
Yeah, the debt is Sonic running out of air and you're like...
That filled me with a primordial fear.
That was horrific.
Oh my god.
That's one of my worst video game.
That was true horror. That was true fear.
Yeah.
Watching your little buddy drown.
You never watch Mario drown, do you?
I guess in Mario 64 you do.
Before that he would just... Well in the science- rolling ones he could be underwater as long as you wanted
Why did he drown in Mario 64? Why'd they add that? I don't like that drowning shit
It's weird. In Sonic. It's too much stress already with underwater levels. No, let's do another topic not Sonic
Okay, let's see. How to train Your Dragon. No. It's a joke.
Anonymous, I wanted to leave a comment about Scott Adams,
but then you couldn't read my comment on the show. Yeah. Oh, you got the show pulled!
Yeah. After all the complaining about Vito, you know, you should know what you can say on YouTube.
I should have known!
I should have known that. We got pulled for that like two years ago,
the exact same thing. We're still doing that shit, man. You're the only guy who's ever
gotten the show pulled and you've been lecturing me. I can't believe we're still worried about
that topic. I'm not gonna lie, I thought it was over too. I thought they revised their
stance or something. They're waiting for like one last black guy to get, well to get,
I don't know what word you can use instead of you know what. The point is guys. A promotion,
everybody got promoted on earth except for one black guy in a hut somewhere. Biggest problem
supports the official YouTube line that the vaccine is very efficient and will save you from a winter
of death. Make sure to get vaccinated if you aren't already.
That's the bottom line.
Let's see, here's some more negative stuff.
And if we don't say that, our whole channel gets deleted.
Wait, is that misinformation?
Shit, no, I'm just joking.
Obviously everything's, god damn it.
I don't know what the fucking rules are.
It's crazy.
Jesse Hill says, I don't comment much,
but I've been meaning to say for months,
months that Vito's problems are obviously
due to his medication, in quotes.
The Vito Wars.
The late comic, taking drugs recreationally is awesome.
Taking drugs to work is dangerous dangerous the show is getting subs in
spite of this not because of this love from a veto file that's yeah that's
taking drugs to work is taking drugs to work or be healthy is very dangerous
that's true if we get veto 2 to 20,000 subscribers I will stop taking meth. We're at fourteen thousand right now.
That's not gonna help buddy boy. What? The subscribers will help.
That's when the real problems kick in. You can't just stop taking that shit.
Okay then there's a bunch more shit. I don't know. Fantastic. Well, I have a segment I would love to do.
Okay, go for it. What is it?
It's called Vote It Up!
Okay, hold on. I have a new one for this. It's from Liam.
Cool. Jazzy Beetle ears
Fat
Boated earth
Sitting down while boating earth
Oh baby
Wow Liam that's great!
Good job!
That was a refreshing take.
He didn't say voted up though, or killed family.
No, he said it very quickly.
He said FET.
I think I have to be called for FET.
Let's see.
You can hear him smoke.
EAT-O-EAT!
FET! You can hear him smokin'. Eto is......fat.
Vote it up.
Okay, yeah, you're right.
Buried in there.
Vote it up, folks!
Where we take a look at some of the recent news and how it relates to our favorite show,
Dick, I got two.
You're not gonna read any ads, are you? Have you guys heard about this new whopper
from how I met you? What the hell was that? Yeah.
I don't know. Look, this is what you're gonna like. You're gonna like these problems because these are
topical
and important. Okay, guys from Episode 35,
this is a problem I brought in, it's the problem of kink shaming. This is when somebody has a sexual interest or fetish and everybody online starts picking
them apart and trying to ridicule them for it. How dare they? How could you?
Well, we're seeing some of this kink shaming in action today as Pulitzer Prize winning
journalist Glenn Greenwald has come out swinging at his political enemies who he claims are
responsible for leaking a sex tape of him with another man.
That's a really nice way of describing what the video is.
I think this is Daily Beast is a...
His political enemies. Wow.
It's just a sex tape of him with another man. He's just, you know, it's just sex, right?
Whose playbook is that? The gay blackmail in Revenge Board.
Who could possibly?
Well, who's got that?
Who's got their little electronic mitts in everything, huh?
It could have been anybody.
Anybody could have released this video.
It could have been anybody that really needs to control US politicians and journalists
so they don't lose control of the narrative.
It's very possible. It's very possible.
Well, here's where it gets complicated though.
Yes, there are a lot of people saying, well, clearly this is black male from a foreign
state trying to take down a...
Why'd you beat around the bush if you just gotta fucking say it?
I feel like you spent two minutes not saying Israel.
This is what it was!
I got it.
We all got there.
The Fox News favorite whose work reporting on Edward Snowden's NSA surveillance won him
a Pulitzer Prize in 2014, released a statement calling the release of these sex tapes maliciously
political.
Greenwald who is gay says these videos were posted without his knowledge or consent and
it is criminal. It was quickly deleted from free speech site Rumble, partially owned by FBI Deputy Director
Don Bongino.
I didn't know that.
Don Boingo.
Yeah.
Don Boingo took it down.
He said, that's not free speech.
He said he's going to release like an AI video of Epstein killing himself too.
That's another topic we might have to...
An enhanced video?
Oh thanks Dan!
I'm glad we have AI enhanced Epstein video.
Look at you shit your pants, wow.
It's crazy that after being told all the cameras were broken
suddenly the FBI has mysteriously found a video of Epstein killing himself.
Yeah.
Isn't that weird?
How about you enhance your head off right now?
You fucking... you fraud.
You piece of shit.
I do want to say though.
About the Greenwald video.
I know you're going to suggest
it's a foreign state.
But as I looked into it,
it seems like he was specifically participating
in this blackmail
Fendom type situation.
Meaning he paid a Brazilian
man a bunch of money to dress him up in a skirt, do, I assume,
sexual things to him, with the implicit understanding that if he ever stopped paying this guy, the
guy would release the videos because he has a blackmail fetish.
Sounds hot.
It's turning me on.
Well, I'm not kink-shaming him for it, but I would say that if you explicitly go to a
Brazilian guy to blackmail you for money about a sex, but I would say that if you explicitly go to a Brazilian guy
To blackmail you for money about a sex tape. I don't think you can later go. It was probably the Jews
I feel like I could go. It might also be the Brazilian guy you paid to blackmail you
It might also be that guy. He's part of it. He's part of it. It's very complicated
He at least played a role.
I mean it kind of just diminishes.
You're like, yeah you know, Israel gets you every time.
And you're like, yeah but what about that guy?
What about Findam Master Brutus?
Israel put that shit in his head with their laser.
In the video you are...
He says, give me ten thousand dollars on PayPal.
And in the video you're wearing a dress and you upload him ten thousand dollars on PayPal.
I feel like that kind of destroys your credibility
I'm running PayPal
Maybe right look
I'm not saying it's impossible that other people found out about the tape wanted to get in on it
But it's kind of like you created that scenario. You know who created it
Glenn Cleat green wall you said you, sorry. Yeah, yeah. No, we created that scenario.
The royal we, of course. Don't you think that, like,
if it is a humiliation kink thing, don't you think that all the guys
posting it and reposting it and calling him gay are, like, participating in, like, a gay
Findom humiliation? Well, that's what I'm saying, is I'm like
in a weird way. Like every guy who goes like,
this guy, this guy's a pervert!
This guy's sick! He can't be around!
He's like sitting home going, oh yeah, oh yeah!
He's got two Brazilians on either side of him.
Jacking him up.
That's always the classic conundrum of the guys with the humiliation fetish.
Cause you always see the YouTube videos
about like these weirdo guys who go out seeking weird online humiliation,
you're like, but that's what they want.
They want you to make the YouTube video about what a freak they were, because that's what
they get off on.
So it's like, do you make the video or not?
In a way, yeah, you're helping a creep get off.
He should have done his statement in that, whatever that maid costume he was wearing
in that video.
Somebody told me that there's a Palestine pin.
I couldn't really see it pinned to the maid outfit.
So in a way it's like he's being humiliated
by the Palestinian.
I don't know what the fuck's going on.
That's a secret.
Which in a way is like a level of fetish
that I can't even wrap my head around
as I'm like, oh, okay.
Now it's got like socio-political humiliation?
Some Jewish guy told me today on Twitter
that the Fourth Amendment is Hamas's favorite amendment.
So do I mean, am I still anti the government spying
on Americans knowing that?
Yeah, Hamas loves it.
He said it's their favorite. It's their favorite, it's the Fourth Amendment. I said, knowing that. Yeah, Hamas loves it. He said it's their favorite.
It's their favorite.
It's the Fourth Amendment.
I said, oh shit.
That's how they guess you.
That's how they guess you.
Whoa, Hamas likes it.
Glenn Greenwald.
Hitler liked ice cream too, dick.
Yeah, he should have done it really close, like in his face, right?
And then he's starting to explain what happened in the video.
And then as he does his statement, as it gets further and further out he's like on his hands and knees
Oh, did I lose you?
Oh Huh.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Do do do.
Do do do do do do.
Ah man. La la la la Hello Oh
Is it back
Is it back? We did magic cards believe it or not. It's back. Hello. Oh there he is
Don't worry. I filled plenty of time. Okay. Wait. What was I talking about?
Oh, yeah, then it pans back and then yeah, you realize that he's been getting spanked the whole time in like a dog outfit.
It's always the reveal is the exciting part of what's going on, you know?
Have some fun with it, man.
That's what you want to see.
Anyway guys, don't be kink shaming poor Glenn Greenwald.
Like what the fuck is his statement gonna do?
Look, he's licking a black guy's foot
dressed like a French maid.
Either people are gonna care about it or they're not.
You're not gonna say something that someone who's like fucked
is like, oh yeah, that's a good statement.
Oh, I guess he's a good journalist again then.
Well, it's just weird that like I see like
Andrew Tate tweeting about it.
He's like, you know, whatever a gay guy wants to do in his privacy of his own home.
And I go, I feel like if this was a different guy, you would not say that.
Like, I feel like there's a bit of hypocrisy here where it's like, you know,
if gay guys want to put on women's clothing and get fucked in the ass, that's cool.
That's Chad. That's not even a big problem.
And I'm like, come on, can you at least say that's like a little not in line
with your supposed conservative values?
It's a little off. I know he's your guy or whatever, but
Might be useful to talk about it
Anyway, that's kink shaming guys currently number 897. That's it's it's negative. So you guys support kink shaming
Yeah, because everyone hates like well, it's because everyone's trying to do their kinks too much.
There is too much like, people...
Pride. It's just every fucking month is Pride month.
Like, yeah, we got it, you know.
Well, there's also, I forget what I saw recently where I'm like,
yeah, people are like way too okay with like going out in public
and doing kinky, like...
Like...
Just keep it in your house keep it you know why do you want to go out and do that shit man it's
fucking weird yeah bothering it's weird when straight people do it if you like
bill Belichick with his this that little whore that he brings all around
everybody thinks it's weird everybody's like that's right weird that's like a
straight fetish thing that's happening thin dom fetish that's weird. Everybody's like, that's fucking weird. That's like a straight fetish thing that's happening.
Fendon fetish.
That's weird and we hate it.
So it's not like straight people get a pass to do weird shit.
And I'll say, look, you know, I'm fine when they have, you get the pride parade.
You get one day to go out, you wear the dog costume.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
You do not get the day to wear a dog costume.
I'll give him a day. I'll give him a day. Oh, fuck off. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Once a year you can do it in the street. I'm okay with that. That's my line. One time a year, leave the kids at home.
That's the day that you're allowed to do it.
Not Martin Luther King Day. That's not the day. That's incorrect.
Dick, I got one other problem for you here, which I think you might like.
This is a recent one from episode 183.
This was the problem of police body cameras. Oh yeah. This is footage
recorded by the police. Oh that was Nick's problem right? That was Nick Ricada's problem.
And I don't know if you guys know but Nick Ricada has been trying has been chased after by the
dastardly Josh Moon who is trying to make up all sorts of nonsense
and invent crimes against the dastardly Nick Krakata
and trying to get access to footage he has no legal right to.
This body camera footage.
And today we saw from Nick Krakata on Twitter
that his motion to effectively seal this body camera footage,
because again, it was not used in court. It was never entered into evidence and therefore
the public does not have access to it. Well, the court has agreed. Nick Reketa has denied
Josh Moon's attempt to obtain the body camera footage.
So, Nol's not allowed to get Nick's footage of Nick's kids and check off of them.
Nol's going to everyone and saying, donate to me.
I'm a legal expert.
I have a team of lawyers here to obtain footage
of Nick Ricada's children.
And then everyone's going to calm their brains out.
Yeah.
We're all going to come.
For their safety.
We're going to Jack off because we care about the kids so much.
And that's turning us on, is how much we care about them.
Well, legal mastermind Joshua Moon has failed in his long time attempt to obtain body camera
footage because he doesn't actually know how the law works despite what he constantly tells
people on his idiot forum.
This is the same man who predicted that me and Dick Masterson would be sued into
the ground by Eric July that we would lose everything so he's now two for two on legal
predictions there and I can only imagine what other legal wranglings this genius of the
court will come up with next. Anyone who goes to Josh Moon for insight on anything.
Someone described it though because someone described it though
Someone described it yeah
Someone described the video so that basically is good
We basically got it
You got a letter written by a cop
That says like yeah we went into his house
It was dirty on top of the fridge
Oh the kids are living in squalor
The kids are living in squalor
It said it was dirty on top of the fridge
She's a huge whore yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, wow.
Well, that's, you know, that sounds right.
So, uh.
How much money did he get for that?
How much?
I don't know what Josh collected for his incredible legal maneuvering.
I mean, I can't believe it didn't work out for him.
Can't believe it.
You know, he's such, again, a legal mastermind.
He knows all these lawyers and
he knows the American court system in such intricacy. He's kind of an expert on anything.
Isn't that curious that Joshua Moon is an expert on all things? That's amazing. And
even Nick Ricada's biggest haters today have been saying, looks like a big W for Ricada
law putting it away.
Guys, you're not getting the footage
but you are getting to vote it up.
That is also a negative problem with negative 58,
number 800, so I guess Reketa.
Well yeah, because it's that stupid problem.
The body cam footage is great.
You get to, body cam footage sets civil rights back
like 50 years.
It's like, oh wow.
Body camera footage has done so much damage to so many different, like, it really is fascinating
to just have like all your alludes and shattered. Like I grew up in an ultra-liberal town and
they said, no, black people have never done, sorry, all sorts of people have never done
anything wrong. Not just black people. It's all just intergenerational trauma and the police lying.
And you're like, ah, those police, they're always lying.
And then you watch the videos.
And then every body cam is like, oh my god, this poor cop, he should have shot her.
They need a bigger gun.
They need two guns.
One needs hand.
I did see a video today.
It should be like, 30 to 51, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
I forget who posted it.
It's one of those videos where people leave treats out for the delivery guys
And then somebody steals all the treats
Yeah
And I was so happy because it was two a white guy and a white girl stealing all the treats and I'm like a little
bit of balance a little bit of balance I
Want to make a Twitter that's only videos of white people doing stuff wrong. It's harder to find for some reason again
I think it's institutionalized racism that is keeping
those videos away from us.
So guys don't forget, go to the website.
Time until Vito said something racist.
40 minutes.
Not too bad.
Alright.
You started me with the body cameras shit.
You started it!
I talked about body cameras then you said body cameras set civil rights back and you
said Martin Luther King Jr. day was when we should have naked people on the street.
Well that's because those two groups reliably go to parades.
You always go, those two groups reliably go to parades.
Gay people and black people are always dressing at night.
Time for a parade. They're always partying. They're a fun people.
Yeah, well I don't know why, but they always seem to have time for a parade in the middle of the day. I don't know.
Can't believe it.
Yeah.
Fascinating.
Okay, so I won.
No!
Oh, did you win?
Yeah, I don't even know if you read who won, did you?
Did I? Let me see. I don't have the drum roll.
Uh, traffic drones. Oh shit, you won, alright.
I won with both problems.
You won with both problems! You won with both problems everybody's a cancer doctor
Bad movie guilt and lazy lazy Cambodian donut shops. I forgot to do that all right you won all right
I won and I'm excited
Trapped guys, I can't believe that shit still
dude, I'm
Yeah
We are entering a bad time. A world of pain.
For a number of reasons.
Yeah.
Isn't Trump supposed to fix everything?
Why's your guy not fixing everything?
Trump's a fascist.
I don't know if you know that about Trump.
Well, if he's a fascist, he should do some fascist shit to shut down.
Am I glitching again?
No, Vito's glitching now.
Oh no, it is me.
I dropped out or you dropped out?
There, now you're back.
What should he do?
I said, uh, Doug's never gonna do anything about the veterans' benefits that get shut
down.
I'm getting a new modem, by the way.
I have to call my cable company, so if I'm having any connections, problems, those will
be solved.
All right, here's my problem, Dick.
Wait, what did you think Trump should do?
Everything he's got to he's got a crackdown on veterans benefits. They're the real welfare Queens
Oh
Yeah, but you know, you can't do that. Well, you didn't let him kick anybody out of the country. So why would he do that?
I let him kick some guys out. I'm into it. We need 20 million people gone out
We're I think they just told me you gotta come up with a better mechanism for it. No, we can't just grab them
Yes, that's what we're doing
You see did you see the little girl who's dying and Trump's gonna kick her out and then she's gonna die
You can't do that. Kill her. It's male her body. No, I don't want to kill her. Venezuela. Who cares fuck her. Oh my god
I think here's my- this. See this is why everything sucks,
because we have a great idea on our side, and you guys won't let us do it, so then when
you guys have a great idea on your side, we won't let you do it. Do you see the problem
there? You make a good point, nothing ever changes. That's the problem. All this gridlock
and naysaying to good ideas, not done perfectly. We'll fix it. That's the problem. I know. Alright. Alright look. Fuck that little girl. She's buying your Pokemon cards that you're in
desertman of. That's why they're sold out that little bitch is buying them up.
Don't you want to buy them? Sell them to other men? You know what you're right if I think we
should have a TSA or what do you call it we should have ice staking out all the
Pokemon card displays.
I'm okay with getting rid of those people.
Just have somebody do it. Deputize garbage men. Who cares? Just get rid of them.
Alright, now I have a problem. I'm gonna give you a little background of the problem before I get into what the real problem is, dude.
Okay.
But, are you aware of PFAS?
Uh, like plastic?
Plastic! That's correct.
What is it? Oh, like plastic? Plastic! That's correct. Oh it is?
PFAS, also known as
PUR and polyfluoroalkyl substances
are a
flurry polymer coating
and product that resist heat,
oil, stain, grease, and water.
So these are the things that you apply to other things
to make it so that they are resistant
to wear and tear
Example of places you'll still see PFAS is for instance nonstick cookware like Teflon pans
You'll see it in waterproof clothing like your Gore-Tex jackets
stain resistant fabrics like Scotchgard and long wear and waterproof
Cosmetics like mascara foundation, and also dental floss.
I can't believe this shit isn't dental floss.
You shouldn't floss. That's why. It's dangerous.
Well, yeah, you maybe shouldn't because these are 15,000 different compounds
that have been linked to cancer, birth defects, decreased immunity, high cholesterol, kidney disease,
and a range of other serious health problems.
They're also known as forever chemicals because the big problem about them is they don't break down.
Once they're out there, they just float around. They ain't going nowhere.
Great. It sounds fun.
No, it's not fun. This is terrible. Now, one of the big problems was that one of the primary uses for PFAS, or one of the widespread uses of it,
was on Air Force bases,
because it is a fire resistant foam.
Okay, why was that the biggest problem?
The birth defects sound like a bigger problem
than Air Force ones.
Well, no, I'm saying the big,
well, I'll tell you why.
It leads to the birth defects, okay?
Is you have all these jets taking off,
there's fuel everywhere. There's fuel everywhere
There's a lot of fire when planes are around you know little fires start up
Yeah, and they they invented this stuff in the 50s, and they said oh, it's okay
You know the jet takes off it leaves a little fire on the runway
Just spray it down with some foam just foam that sucker on military bases
Yeah, yeah military bases. We're hitting it with the foam. Alright.
Here's the problem.
Yeah.
A lot of these military bases are built next to large bodies of water.
Oh, yeah.
So, we're foaming, and they loved this shit, apparently.
They're like, I'm reading like stories from the Air Force, and they're like,
we'd just play with it for fun, because it was fun to spray the fucking runway down.
You'd just go out there and just hose the
Like the whole fucking run away. What does it work like?
Like what do you mean? It's a fire retardant puts out fights like instead of using water
You just spray fire on the instead of using you know water on the fire like a fire hose
Yeah, I fucking foam everywhere
You don't notice that all the foam is slowly rolling towards the lake or the ocean or whatever else. Yeah, okay. Thanks a lot and now
50 60 70 years later. You can still go to the beach and
It's there suds in the water. It's still there. It doesn't go anywhere
Yeah, so what's on our beach in California?
Is that why there's always like if you see you see some sudsy stuff, it can be run off from PFAS foam or whatever.
Cause there's always foam on the beach here, it's gross.
Well, over 700 military communities are grappling
with PFAS contamination of their water supply,
affecting more than 60 million Americans.
So basically every military base
where they were just having foam fights,
the soldiers were strutting around, shooting each other with foam guns, they released like
so much of this shit that is leached into the groundwater and the government is telling
you like, yeah, your groundwater is like permanently fucked and there's really nothing we can
do about it at all. Like they're trying to figure out what to do about it
And they have no fucking idea they're like this is micro politics
They've been studying it for like 20 years, and they're like there's I don't think there's anything we do
I think you just can't drink the water in these communities without increasing your risk of cancer
But isn't it funny how much shit Russia gets for Chernobyl like averting Chernobyl yeah, we are we've poisoned boys everything in
Well, here's the real problem that I wanted to nail down to because I know people are listening to this and they're going
Well, I'm not gonna drink tap water. I'm not retarded. Why would I drink tap water? That's all I drink
That's all you drink water comes out too slow
I don't want to sit there all day filling up you might be okay drinking tap water in California
but here's why this problem is a problem for
you.
A new study, released just last week, sampled 23 different beers, testing them for PFAS
contamination.
Oh great. Finding that all but one of the 23 beers tested are contaminated with PFAS chemicals due to the runoff from military bases and other chemicals leached into the water.
What was the one?
What was the one that was not released?
Well that's the worst part of this is that whoever did this study Clearly had some arrangement to not tell us which beers are poisons
To know
So sick of these people in their fucked up ethics somehow every somehow everybody's ethics and in them doing something shitty
Like alright everybody give me your beer and then I promise not to tell everybody which one's poisonous.
Which one's poison, yeah!
And then he does the same, and we're like, alright, and he goes, okay, one wasn't poisonous.
You're like, which one?
He goes, well, it would be wrong for me to raise it.
No, what you're doing right now is wrong, you fucking idiot!
So my problem, Dick, is foamy beer.
Normally, you like a good head of foam on the top.
Unfortunately, your foam is now coming from... Foamy beer is just gonna look like foamy beer to... alright, whatever, foamy beer. Normally you like a good head of foam on the top. Unfortunately, your foam is now coming from...
Foamy beer is just gonna look like foamy beer. Alright, whatever. Foamy beer.
Put poison beer then. I don't f- P.F.A.S. beer. Look.
Poison. P.F.A.S.
I gotta give you these details. The levels detecting the beer were as high as 40 parts per trillion.
The limit for drink water is between 4 and 10 parts per trillion.
So it has ten times the recommended
amount. They do try to hand wave that away by saying well people typically drink more tap water
so you know you're not drinking beer all the time but if you're drinking beer all the time
you're fucked. Everybody's drinking beer all the time what are they talking about? Well here's where
you should... Here's where you should... Here's all I can tell you is there's a specific so they tested beer from different
regions they won't tell us what beer that is so obnoxious because how do you know they
didn't get like poison beer like I don't I don't know I feel like if you told me a couple
of the beers at the beer store were poison I could probably avoid them you would avoid
the poison beers you would say I don't like that one. The cardboard's all soggy.
You know, like it's been left in there.
And it kind of looks like another beer, but I don't know.
It's not the same.
Well, this is why I'm worried for you,
because I know you drink all these craft IPAs and shit, right?
Yeah, I mean, not anymore, but yeah.
Well, you probably shouldn't anymore.
Here's the deal.
The highest levels were detected in beer brewed in the Cape Fear
Riven River basin in North Carolina.
Where, which has been completely contaminated by PFAAS from a
Chemoers chemical plant in Fayetteville.
So this chemical plant has been pumping poison into the Cape Fear water.
Yeah.
Dick, have you been drinking any IPAs that say brewed in Cape Fear?
No, never.
In North Carolina?
No, but I know somebody who lives in North Carolina.
Well, tell them to stop drinking the delightful craft beers because they said,
the levels we found in these beers, and I looked it up on Google, I said,
well, how many breweries are in that area?
There's like 20 fucking breweries scattered around this poison lake all pumping out these craft IPAs, and I'm like, oh my fucking god.
So I would say all of them, look, I don't want to get sued or anything, but if you're getting your water from that lake.
Women have like a date rape drug test strip. How come there's nothing for us to test beers?
I don't I don't know you would think that would be like a priority
I would think it would be on the label like this is a healthy beer
You know it was kind of part of German tradition that they would there was like legal requirements to do it
Yeah, and now we've got And now we've got absolutely nothing.
It's like how big of a douche bag can you be
is the only requirement for
for now.
You bring up an excellent point however, Dick.
Is, of the 23 beers they tested,
they tested two international brands.
One from Mexico, one from the Netherlands.
It's gotta be Elk,
it's gotta be Corona and Heineken, right?
One of them had no traces of chemicals, the other had very low traces, barely noticeable.
Okay.
So if you're importing your beer-
Did they say which one was which?
No, they just said Mexico and the Netherlands, one's really good and one's kinda good.
Yeah.
Can we- can we just- is there a way for us to test them?
I feel like that would be valuable.
Can't we just get a bunch of beers and how do you find out if there's fucking plastic
in the beer?
What do you do?
What are we testing for?
PFAS?
PFAS, because we're gonna have fucking birth defects, cancer, decreased immunity and high
cholesterol.
You know, I'm worried about that all the time.
Let's just do the same study and then fake it and say they all, like just announced that
they had, just announced that they had
Just announced that they all have it then no then they will actually have to test it and prove they don't like that's a way
Yeah, that's how you catch a lawsuit. Unfortunately, I'm saving lives though. It's
Saving lives. It's true. They should have been doing this anyway. That's not my fault
All I know is every single day,
remember we found out the tea bags
were leeching plastic into there.
You got plastic in your balls.
I'm seeing all these things,
but nothing does not have plastic in it at this point.
And you would think a beer, you go, yeah, it's a beer.
Look at how much plastic could possibly be in a beer.
I would think none.
10 times the recommended level.
10 times the recommended level
of drinking water in the beer.
And you've been drinking, here's the best thing about me, everybody always give me shit
because I'll go to like a bar, I go, yeah, give me a Blue Moon or something, you know?
And they go, oh, you need to get this craft, you know, this craft beer, these IPAs locally
made.
And I'm just getting the shitty off the shelf beer, it's not brewed out of some distillery in the middle of Poison Lake.
Oh, you think you're not getting microplastics.
I'd rather get California tap water.
I drive past, what's the brewery off the highway?
You can see the giant tanks.
Isn't that the Miller?
Isn't the-
Which one?
When you're driving towards Vegas.
There's the Anheuser-Busch off the 405.
I think it is Anheuser-Busch.
Oh, no, no.
That one's, I don't know which.
It might be Miller. It might be Miller. In like, no, that one's, I don't know which, it might be Miller.
It might be Miller, but I go,
yeah, I love Miller High Life.
I then famously drank 40 at your wedding.
I drank two 40s at your wedding.
It was delightful.
Yeah, I don't know about famous.
And I'd say that's probably safer than these craft brews
that idiots like you keep drinking
and now you have, now you got plastic in your body.
So, Dick, my problem.
If only somebody could do something about it. If only,
if only anybody could do anything about it. They can't. They don't know what to do. I'm
too busy thinking about lead now. Dude, why? Why are you worried about lead? Because it's
bad for kids. Everything's bad for kids. Well, lead's particularly bad for kids. And it's
in everything. Do you have lead in your house?
It's in everything because it makes paint stick to glass.
Wait, so do you have lead paint? Is that what you're worried about?
No, it's on things. It's on like bottles and toys.
Are you doing any testing in your house for like chemicals or?
Just the gay ones.
Yeah, yeah, you don't want the kids getting frogged up.
Alex Jones needs to stop that. Anyway, my, you don't want the kids getting frogged up. No. Alex Jones needs
to stop that. Anyway, my problem is poison plastic beer. Stick to your international
brands. Mexico, the Netherlands. It could be Corona. Drink some Corona. I think we're
fine here. It's not North Carolina. Yeah, but if you're drinking beer, you don't know.
It said they tested 23 brands. They all had shit in it
They're just trying North Carolina
Carolina's L don't read the night if you look on the back of the beard. It says brewed proudly in North Carolina
I think you got to run in the opposite direction. That's what I'm hearing
Yeah, but what's sorry to shit on small business? What's the name of these guys doing the testing?
Who did the testing? Yeah, who did the testing? Let me check real quick.
They're probably just
selling some shit.
They're probably selling their own beer.
It was conducted by, yeah, it was conducted by
they said Bud Light is the safest beer
ever. It was actually conducted by M. Heiser Bush.
It's like the South
Carolina Brewing Company paid for this
test.
Well here it says, it may have been the senior environmental health center RTI
International it looks like may have been who did it I'm not sure if they're
just commenting on it. Sounds like a scam. Who conducted the study they're saying the
brewers interested in reducing PFAS levels should install granulated
activated carbon or reverse osmosis filtration systems.
That's probably what they're selling. Reverse osmosis systems.
There you go. That's it.
Well I want them to use it. I don't want plastic in the beer. Do reverse osmosis.
There's plastic in everything. Who gives a shit? There's plastic in bread.
Me!
It's in water. It's in everything. Who cares?
Don't say that. I am drinking out of a plastic bottle of water right now.
It's definitely in there. That shit's been heated up and cooled down over and over and over
That's very bad for you
You gotta drink out of spaghetti jars like me
Then you get spaghetti poisoning all right my problem is the war on porn I
Hear you I see my problem. I saw this this was the
This was the end game all along, I think. I saw this awful lady tweet this online.
When I say I will be grilling my daughter's future boyfriend
about any porn use from day one of their relationship
So they don't end up in a marriage
With a man who thinks like this and it was some guy who's talking about porn
This is the mother-in-law saying if you date if my daughter dates a guy
I'm gonna brow I'm gonna grill and browbeat any man that my daughter brings home and
Imagine he shows you the phone is just Glenn Greenwald in a dress paying a Brazilian man money
You're gonna be upset about that apparently that's okay with you guys
That's fine. That's fine. That's okay
I don't know I've seen it turn more and more like it started out with the Christian weirdos always going on and on about porn
Because they need to keep their guys because they're addicted to it. Let's be clear
Anybody who complains about it was addicted to it themselves. Yeah, I don't know or they're a woman and they've never enjoyed it once
I don't know. There's some cut
There's something like for some reason cults always go after sex first. Cults and religions always go after sex first.
Like don't, first thing you gotta do is not have sex.
That's the first thing you gotta do to, you know,
cause it's the only thing you can really give up
when you have nothing, cause you want it all the time.
So it's like, all right, we gotta control that.
It's like core to your identity.
Well, I think religion also went after sex
because religion was a lot of tricking people into doing things that benefited the state.
It's like, can you guys stop making fucking kids?
This is a burden.
Yeah.
It's sanctity of marriage or whatever.
Or make a bunch more. We don't have enough guys.
But it's come all the way around.
The war on porn has come all the way around from that to
just a generic
criticism of all men, a vilification of all men, a denormalization of all men just doing
something to let off a little bit of steam.
Doing something normal because most men have never in their life seen a woman
under 165 pounds.
It's just something that normal guys do, and actually normal women do, all the time.
It's become like this fourth wave feminist generic attack on not specific men or even
anything bad that they're doing, like kicking the shit out of their wife or
I don't know doing hardcore drugs or something or gay or sports gambling their their life savings away
It's just become like a generic attack on
Something that all that pretty much all men do secretly and will look guilty for defending themselves
It's become yet another
way for women to nag men en masse. The war on porn. Which was always where it was going.
There was all like all of these weird um like all these weird anti-male things. It's always
it's always going there. It's always well the, the war on porn, it's always been a weirdly disingenuous thing.
Like, I want to say, you know, it's like back in like the 80s and 90s or whatever when you'd have, yeah, like
conservative Christians or whatever talking about, oh, we hate porn or whatever.
Yeah.
You know, you'd always have the stories of like, yeah, I saw that guy at the porn store.
You know, he just doesn't talk about it. Like, they think, well, why porn use is, you know, it's so minor that it doesn't count.
And I guess I'm trying to think like what they object to because they'll go like, well,
you know, it's a, it's their same arguments against like pot, you know, where they're
like, oh, well, you're wasting time.
And I go, well, what do you want them to spend that time doing exactly?
It's like, well, watching television, of course, you know, I'm like, like, what, what, that's the weird thing is like, there's lots of ways to waste time.
And it always comes down to like conservatives being like, well, yeah, a
good way to waste time is, you know, sit around, watch football.
I don't know, read your Bible or something.
Yeah.
Let's be real, like watching porn.
I just think of it as like, yeah, I don't know.
I got nothing to do.
I'll watch some porn.
I don't know why they vilify it so much
Because they they don't want to
Compete with just with nothing because they don't want to come they don't want to lose weight
They don't want to act like the girls in porn which is you know?
Eager to get fucked because the girls in porn are not like the girls in porn are not, like the girls in porn are not,
some are amazing looking, but mostly by and large,
the porn that guys are beating off to
are nothing to, you know, write home about, right?
Yeah.
You're closing the browser very quickly afterwards.
Like, oh, I don't, you know,
I don't wanna see her not when I'm not beating off.
You know what it is though?
It's like the same argument.
You remember when we went to Netflix
and you remember that guy who,
that writer who assaulted you,
they interviewed him or whatever.
Which one?
That guy who wrote fucking a Frasier.
The one who tried to choke you
and said you were choked.
No, he tried to get you.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, but then he tried to get you as well.
It was the same guy. He's a very aggressive guy. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but then he tried to get you as well. It was the same guy.
He's a very aggressive guy.
Um, what was his name?
He's a very aggressive guy.
Joe, I know his name was Joe.
Yeah, it was, it was Joe...
You got hit in the head, so you have an excuse.
Chrisaldi?
Go Kristaldi.
Go Kristaldi, I think.
Alright.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So they interviewed that guy at that protest, and his interview was very telling because
it was basically, well, he said, I understand Chappelle, you know, because I'm intelligent
enough to break it down.
The problem is I have to stop stupid people from seeing it because they might get the
wrong idea.
And I think that's the same mentality these guys have against porn is they're like, well,
you know, I get its fantasy, but I'm worried that stupid people are going to see it and
they're going to think, you know, that is a healthy sexual whatever, they're going to
become, you know, porned up.
And I look, there is a lowest common denominator, you know, argument where there are people
who have watched porn and then said, Hey, I should put on a dress and pay a Brazilian guy to take my money. Yeah, I get it
I think some of those guys have watched too much porn and they said I want to live out some of my fantasies
And they got a little carried away, but again. It's not an argument. It's a good. It's gun control
We got to take guns away. Why cuz stupid people might have them so basically
It's only for men. It's always it's always men all of this shit is always men
It's never I never see any I never see a huge contingent of women going. Hey women. We really have to stop watching porn
It's always guys got these guys are just disgusting. You know they're they can't say that like the
to say that it like
Triggers them into just raping non-stop
Which they used to say that's gone out of favor. So now they have to come out and say like, you know what? It's just like
marriages are falling apart these guys the guys sex drives being diluted and
Drained by all this by all by all the
Because the men don't want to have sex?
That's the argument they're making?
Yeah, that's the argument that they're making.
Wait, the sex drives are too much or reduced from the porn?
I would think porn reduces your sex drive, right?
It does when your wife is 200 pounds!
Yeah, I'd rather just go look at porn. No thank you.
I don't want to hear about your day. I'd rather just go look at some. No, thank you. I don't want to hear about your day I'd rather just go look at some porn because it's like fucking exhausting
I think there's some arguments against pornography that can be made. I think obviously getting it away from minors
I think a lot of minors are discovering pornography way too early and getting some crazy ideas in their head
But how you gonna fucking stop that? I mean this this is where it starts. It always starts with, hey, here's a good idea and
because the idea is phrased in a way that would be suicide to say no
You get this like you get this momentum of a bunch of retarded like good intentions
Just marching over, steamrolling everybody because no one can say say, get fucked. Like, I don't, it's impossible to stop kids from finding this shit.
Just be good parents.
If you don't want your kid to find porn, be a fucking good parent.
Otherwise, go fuck yourself. You're on your own.
None of us can stop your stupid kid from looking at whatever they want online,
so fuck you.
That's like, which is crazy, it's crazy to take the, I don't care.
I don't care.
I don't care position.
Hey, well, you know, kids shouldn't be able, I don't care.
You lost me at kids.
They can do whatever you let them do.
They're on you.
That's on you.
You did it.
I didn't do any part of that.
You did it.
Fuck you.
You know what I mean?
If the parents had control, maybe.
I think the problem with today's society is like, the parents don't seem to have any control because you got to send your kid to a public school and another kid with an iPad comes
Over and he goes hey you want to watch this chick get cream pie'd
And then it's like all your parenting goes out the window you can't stop that
Hell the teacher comes over and the teacher goes today
We're gonna learn how to cream pie a girl
Because that's an important part of sex ed for some reason. And how can you say who cares?
How can you say who cares?
Like, what are you supposed to say?
You gotta get rid of the public schools is the first, is the only way to protect these
kids.
Yeah, right, right, right.
Just stay inside.
If somebody shows you an iPad, just start screaming.
Run back home.
Like, yeah, you know what?
It's not a bad, if your kid gets on an iPad, you gotta go, that's poison.
You'll die.
Don't touch that thing
Anyway, here's some stats
40% porn addiction is real. That's the big debate
No, I think crack addiction is real
Yeah, I Don't think I don't think this I don't think like habit-forming shit is
I don't think this I don't think like habit-forming shit is
Addiction I think it's I think psychologists are addicted to getting new patients and
You know jerk it here like how can you be a
Jerking off feels really good, right? Yeah, so like is an addiction if you go I like doing that often
You know, it's like it's's a thing that specifically we're built with. It's like, hey, this is one of the best feelings in the world.
Yeah, I guess if it fucks with your life, and I don't really give a shit.
Of all the addictions out there, that ranks pretty low.
So if you're paying a Brazilian guy $10,000, then it becomes a problem. But he has the money!
Just the other thing, it's like, you know, maybe that's not even a problem.
I don't care about that shit at all.
40% of women view online porn yearly.
Okay, so why is it they're porn viewing, messing at marriages?
I don't know.
60% of women in the past month. This is porn by the way. This isn't
like women and their cute celebrity crush shit or their office husband shit that is
way, that's way more destructive to marriage than porn. So the problem is, the problem
is men being told to avoid porn when in reality Yeah, the more on men everybody's doing it the war on men watching. I don't know the war on porn
Nobody ever blames women for this shit. It really annoys me
Yeah, they're making it yeah, hold on they're the purveyors
Along with another group of people who you know control it all but whatever they're all they all got only fans starting up their fault
people who, you know, control it all, but whatever! They all got OnlyFans starting up, it's their fault! Uh, let's see, claims that porn causes violence or doesn't have any evidence, yeah.
Only 3-10% of porn users show compulsive behavior.
Uh, that's kind of a lot.
They wanna make porn too! I've been talking to this girl and she's like, we should record
us doing stuff and I said, are you nuts?
No.
Wait, what?
I got a girl who's like,
I wanna come over and like do sex stuff.
And I'm like, yeah, cool.
She's like, yeah, yeah, we should record it
and stream it live.
And I said, no.
Why would she say that?
I don't know.
It came out of nowhere.
She just said like, she basically said,
I just think it would be really hot if we streamed it and like people could like
Chat and comment I said cool, but I'm not doing
It's a bo-blax. It was not bo-blax. This is a biological woman
Like I was just you know, I was like chatting to her and I was like, yeah, you know, we should hang out
Why the fuck would she has she been on the internet before?
I was like chatting to her and I was like, yeah, you know, we should hang out. Why the fuck would she, has she been on the internet before?
Yeah, but not in that way.
So I don't know if she's watching, she must be watching like some porn or some
streams. She got this idea in her head, like she wants to stream it.
And I said, I can't like, it's not happening.
If I was like a no.
No, I don't think so.
I can't imagine.
No, I, you better think twice about that.
She works all the time. So, uh, no, I, I so, I can't imagine, no. Oh, I, mmm, you better think twice about that. She works all the time, so no, I know she has nothing.
I mean, so do these, like, cops that have OnlyFans
and get fired from OnlyFans.
But a girl invited me, she's like,
I want to stream us fucking, and I said, you're nuts,
there's no way.
Somebody would look in the background, and they'd go,
hey, what's all those magic cards?
Whose magic cards are those?
And they'd reverse image search it.
Why would she think you want to do that?
I don't know, because I was like, we were like sexy talking.
Obviously I was a little horned up.
I think she thought I was so horned up that she could trick me into agreeing.
Did you say sexy talking horned up when you were talking to her?
Yeah, I said, hey baby, I'm so horned up.
Let's do some sexy talking.
Whatever.
We're, we're, what do they call it?
When you're chatting, sexting, sexting or whatever.
You know these words.
I don't use them though, I say sexy talking and horned up, because I'm an old school gentleman.
Okay.
Regardless guys, if you're now out there hoping that you're going to see fetuses of all these
stream sexual escapades, they have been offered and denied.
What were you talking about before she said that?
That being said, next Friday I can't do the show.
Okay. What were you talking about before she suggested that?
Just, you know, like, hey I want to do this to you, I want to do various sexual escapades.
On text?
I said I want you to put me in a Palestinian dress and charge me $10,000
And she said this would only be good. I think she was blackmailing Glenn Greenwald
I think she got off on that and now she wants to try with me
What did you say to that? I said no. I said emphatically I'm like
There is look let's be real if I was not like a YouTube guy,
if I was just like a normal on the street guy
who didn't give a shit, okay, sure,
maybe I'd stream who gives a shit,
but if he was gonna get her off, who cares?
But I'm a public figure, I can't do that.
Well, you can fake it.
You could like put up a camera.
What do you mean?
You could put up like a camera and say you're doing it
and have like a bunch of bots
and not be connected to the internet. You could like put up a camera and say you're doing it and have like a bunch of bots in the...
not be connected to the internet.
HAHAHAHA!
You know what? If we want, you're saying I should catfish this woman and set up a fake chat streaming site and go
Well, what's the difference?
I got the camera all set up, look we can watch the live chat
and I'll just have an AI chat that's going, that's pretty good, yeah put it deeper into her and fuck
her tits harder or whatever.
Rackino Casino does.
Just get their bot.
I'll try to get an AI chat bot situation together.
Good plan.
Was that the end of your sexting?
She had to go sadly, so we haven't confirmed exactly what's happening.
When was this?
I think it was yesterday
laughter
She wants to stream it
and I said there's a lot of things I'll stream
I don't think that's in the cards
Doesn't she know you're a streamer?
She does yeah I think that's why maybe she thought I would be into it
She's like oh you love streaming right?
laughter
Listen I know a lot of guys who love
streaming. Guys like Ethan Ralph, guys like Destiny, they all said hey I love streaming other stuff
maybe I should record a hilarious video and for some reason it didn't work out for any of them
so I think the uh the groundwork has been set for me to not follow in their footsteps.
The groundwork has been set for me to not follow in their footsteps.
Wow.
Yeah. I'm shocked by the audacity.
I am disappointed. I'm disappointed I can't stream it.
It would be fun. I get it.
No.
I get it.
Why would it be... why do you think it would be fun?
Well, it'd be fun for her, you know, the chats saying the things and getting her excited.
I get it on some level.
You know?
Getting her all horned up. There's a bunch of guys though.
Yeah, but women like that. It's like you said.
Who cares what women like?
But I'm saying that's the point. The whole point you're making is that women love all this shit
and they pretend not to. They all want this.
Yeah.
They all want a bunch of guys to watch them
Have a fat guy flounder around and slap their titties. That's ruining marriage
There it is. More than guys jacking off in the bathroom
Labeling men's porn use is addictive over pathologizes normal behavior and ignores. I would I would actually I
Would be more worried about
young men hearing that like porn is an addiction.
I would be more worried about them hearing that than seeing porn.
This is constant berating from women in an authority position.
What was the guy from Growing Pains? Kirk Cameron. Yeah. Go ahead. What was the guy from, uh, Growing Pains?
Alan Dick?
Kirk Cameron.
Alan Dick?
Yeah, Kirk Cameron.
Kirk Cameron fell into...
You're always worried that these guys are gonna fall into a...
religious trap.
Yeah.
And then get all these weird morals that they can never justify to themselves, but preach about them constantly.
Yeah.
And, uh...
You don't want your kid to get Kirk Cameron'd.
You gotta watch everybody, man. You gotta watch the school teachers,
you gotta watch the priests. Hey, here's- Can't let your kid around anybody.
Here's something that's porn brained for you. A 2008 study found that women,
that 3.8% of women are more likely to vote for a candidate that they find attractive.
How about that?
How about now who's a retard porn-brain?
That's why Trump won.
Women?
That's why Trump won.
Yeah.
Trump got all those lady votes because he's a better looking guy.
Now who's thinking with their dicks?
39 million romance novels are sold every year.
40 million romance novels.
I gotta say as time goes on, the solution becomes obvious.
Is uh, we should let men replace women.
All the trans women are- Yeah with beer.
Great. Oh you mean take, like become women?
Yeah yeah yeah! You say they might have a trans Zelda? And I'm like sure!
Let's do it. What? Same have a trans Zelda and I'm like sure let's do it
What you want to train as a lady Zelda no
It's what are you a lady Zelda?
You don't want to try Zelda Zelda Zelda Zelda's got a little penis. That's kind of fun. I like it It's not fun. It adds an element to it
One goes to save the princess he spends all this time running like Sylvester Stallone, Zelda running from Ganon
no it's not. Link gets all the Triforces, he finally gets the princess, he gets her
to the bed, he goes, oh
look at that, two wieners
Triforce of wieners over here, great
I went through eight dungeons, she's like, yeah. He's like, I just thought
there was going to be a vagina down there. Well, time to hit the old dusty trail. Men
spend four to six hours a week looking at porn. That's kind of a lot. Probably accurate.
But four to six hours, four to six hours, but women spend eight to 10 hours a week shopping.
That's 45 minutes a day is 46 hours.
Less than an hour.
Uh...
Nothing wrong with that.
Let's see.
42% of women are overweight or obese.
This says, wow.
I feel like that stat can apply to 90% of your problems.
14% of women are cheating on their husbands.
Can I make a request?
Can you just save the 42% of women are obese
and just add that to every single problem you do?
Yeah.
You might not know this stat.
42% of women are obese.
Yes, Dick, we know.
How's this for hurting marriages?
Women hold 66% of the US student loan debt a trillion dollars
30 grand per borrower that's more dangerous to marriage than porn
All right now you're just now you're just doing women's stats and women perpetrate. This is how you win the episode
40% of domestic violence. That's where we brew all the poison beer. Did you know that?
So that's also a women problem vote for that problem as well. That's it. All right
Dick I got a problem for you
Yeah, it's a problem. I call TMM
Okay
So lately because I'm enjoying my methamphetamines, which keep me strong and keep me powerful
I have been eating less and craving different foods. So lately I've
been eating a lot of food. I've been getting a lot of chicken. Salad? Oh chicken
okay. I've had some chicken salads but mostly I've been getting like chicken
sandwiches, chicken nuggets, okay chicken tenders. Not a lot of fat on there, not a
lot. Well here's the problem though, it is fried. It's not great
Could be worse. It's not great. Yeah been getting the McDonald's
McCrispy sandwich deluxe
with mayonnaise and stuff
TMM you're getting close to the problem. So I get this sandwich, right? Yeah, I get the McCrispy sandwich
Yeah, and I go I can't wait to eat this. Let me take a look at this motherfucker and I go I get this sandwich, right? Yeah. I get the McRispy sandwich.
And I go, I can't wait to eat this. Let me take a look at this motherfucker.
And I go, what do these cocksuckers think mayonnaise is?
What do you do in there?
Dick, TMM, too much mayonnaise.
Too much!
Every time you get a fast food, even any restaurant, they don't know the proper ratio of this condiment.
It is insane that you will get a burger or a sandwich or whatever else.
You at home, you make a sandwich, you put some mayonnaise on it, you put like a light
spread, right?
Just a little bit.
Yeah, just like a couple circles.
You get a taste.
You get a taste.
Yeah.
Okay? Maybe if you're making like a potato salad, put a little, make Yeah, just like a couple circles. You get a taste. Yeah.
Okay?
Maybe if you're making like a potato salad, put a little, make a tuna salad, you put a
little in, just a little something.
You go to a fast food restaurant, the thing is not, it's like, here's the patty, and here's
the volume of mayonnaise.
It's a mayonnaise burger 90% of the time.
Right.
It's insanity.
Have you encountered this? Yeah, yeah I just order it
with no mayonnaise because it's disgusting otherwise. You get no mayonnaise. It's just swimming in mayonnaise
everywhere you go. Well here's the thing is you like tartar- like you get the filet of fish you
gotta have tartar sauce on there. No, that's a fat guy thing. Filet of fish is a fat guy sandwich.
Okay, what you don't get tartar sauce on anything? Whatever. I get the chicken sandwich a little bit.
No.
With a little bit of pickle and the mayo,
it kind of tastes like a tartar sauce.
It's got a good taste to it.
But I have to spend the second, I can't just eat it.
I have to park.
I have to take one of these disgusting napkins
and I have to scrape half the fucking mayonnaise,
more than half.
I have to scrape like 90% of the mayonnaise off this thing.
And the mayonnaise has mixed with the lettuce. So I'm removing, I want the lettuce, but I can't
leave the lettuce on because it's mixed into this goo. So I'm trying to, you know, bring some lettuce
back and it's just a Frankenstein like nightmare. All because of these fast food workers. I don't
know. Have they never ate mayonnaise? Like they just, they've only ever put it on a sandwich for
other people. It's for, you take a bite of it you that people it's they like that they
want to just the the bun and stuff is just a topping it's a mayo delivery
system you know what that's true it's another one of these problems where we
live in a country where everything is designed for the lowest common
denominator the $5 foot long the $5 hot and ready pizza.
We gotta make it cheap, we gotta make it fast.
Because it's cheap, it ain't got no flavor, and the meat's dry.
So what do we do?
We apply our delightful mayonnaise spread, we add a bunch of sugar to it, and we make
it taste like dog shit.
Now do we take these dry flavorless meats?
You're eating it, the dog shit. Because I like the the meat part with a little
taste, a little mayo with the pickle is a nice combination. How often do you eat? But this is a
this is a TMM disaster. Okay. Every time I go through the drive-thru I rip it up and I go TMM
once again. TMM. It's disgusting. Every time. How often do you eat- It's a nightmare.
How often do you eat fast food?
Well lately it's been like once a day I've been having one chicken sandwich a day.
Once a day?
It's a 500 calorie chicken sandwich.
Yeah...
Okay so you're saying once a-
If I made a sandwich at home it would probably have 500 calories.
And again I take the mayo off for most of it.
It's full of sugar though! It's not just the calories of it now it's full of sugar though it's not just the calories
I know it's full of sugar look I get it I know I'm not look I'm not living the healthiest lifestyle but at least I've made a chicken
alternative yeah I could get the big bacon well I am gonna get the Dragon
Burger apparently you guys want me to make fucking fast food reviews that thing's probably got 20 million calories but that's what you
people want look no nobody wants the how to train your track dragon burger well
that's what you're getting Dick are you aware that shit are you aware that
restaurants use a different type of mayonnaise than the consumer mayonnaise
did you know this no what is the difference most restaurants use a type of mayonnaise called heavy duty.
Heavy duty mayonnaise or extra heavy mayonnaise.
Why is it heavy?
Well the key difference between their mayo and the mayo you're going to find at a grocery store is that it has additional eggs to make it heavier and creamier.
Oh God. Creamier. Oh god, cuz the idea of a fast food burger if you put the regular mayo on it
It's gonna be sliding off the burger, you know, it's gonna get everywhere
So they have to use a thicker more calorie dense mayo that just sits on top of it like a rock and doesn't move anywhere
Yeah
They're saying that if you want you can add egg yolks to your regular mayo if you want to make this horrible heavy mayo which if the mayo is
Already has more shit in it. Why do you have to put so fucking much on there? It's insane
The man is out of control. I feel like you're going through kind of like I don't know like a ret like
Evolution like if you're feeling have you always felt this kind of disgust about the mayonnaise?
The TML?
I've always had it, well hold on.
I have always thought, I've always had a weird disgust towards mayonnaise.
Even though I like it, seeing it, a big white jar of goo, has always put like this weird
feeling where I'm like, oh God, why do we eat this?
I don't know, there's just something about,
I think for-
Is it gay?
Well, yeah, it is gay.
Reminds you of cum?
It does remind me of cum.
I think for the longest time, I didn't break mayo down.
When you and your head go, it's just oil and eggs,
don't freak out about it.
You're freaking out about it?
As a kid, I didn't really know what it was.
It was just this white jar of goo,
and I'm like, I don't know where it comes from,
I don't know who made it, I don't know why it tastes good,
but it looks gross.
How the fuck is it that different than anything else?
Everything you don't know where it's from as a kid.
Ketchup was like a pleasing red color, it was fun.
Mayonnaise was like, oh god, this white- something about white goo...
It just always made me feel odd, you know?
Why? No, why?
I think there was also- there was like a mental thing in my head where I, I was worried because
ice cream, vanilla ice cream was also white.
Okay.
So I was always worried when I got ice cream that I was gonna bite into it and it was actually
gonna be mayonnaise.
And it was gonna be a trick.
And I don't know how I got that in my head. But every time somebody served me- What the fuck is your problem with food? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ Feels more ice cream, you know resilience. Oh man. I was like somebody could get me
What if they hid mayonnaise inside the ice cream then I'd be fucked. Yeah, whatever
Activity man, I never see that coming. I have to be honest with you now. I really want to trick you into eating
Ice cream that's actually managed. No, I can't eat ice cream at your house ever again
It's never gonna happen because if you ever try to go no, no, no, it's gonna be it's not ice cream at your house ever again. It's never gonna happen. Because if you ever try to give me ice cream, I'm gonna go.
It's not gonna be at my house.
It's gonna be like out.
We're gonna be out at a ball game.
I'll be hiding there or something.
No, no.
Like Trump or fake working the McDonald's drive-thru.
Why did I mention my fear?
Why did I mention my one fear?
I'm gonna set up like a whole new restaurant,
like dumb Starbucks, like Nathan Field there,
just to try to make this worst nightmare happen.
Top 10 fears. I also hate- you get ranch and that I also don't get. I hate ranch.
Why? It's good.
I don't know something about it just like the texture of it and the look of it.
It's another common thing. Why are you so triggered by that?
But you know what's bizarre? You want to know what's bizarre?
I'm hearing it.
I love blue cheese. so that makes no sense
That's where it all breaks down
And if I had ice cream and you hit blue cheese in the ice cream
This is like the worst first date in history
But you know if you hid blue cheese in the ice cream, I don't even think I would be that mad
I'd go oh you got me. I wouldn't be like disgusted though. I would still be
like, well, that's some pretty good blue cheese. So you don't like the runny, you don't like
runny ranch, but mayonnaise isn't runny, it's clumpy. And you don't like that. Look man,
I haven't broken it down all the different white sauces and what other food stuffs do
you not like? Do you like what other food stuffs like you not like do you like what other food
stuffs like are you pretty tough me on some level yeah let me think I mean
ranch is a good one I really like you ranch yeah no they're not all white I'm
trying to think what foods they're not all come right what are like the most
like common disgusting foods?
See I'll eat pretty much anything.
Like that's the other thing is like.
Like black licorice.
I don't like licorice.
What about jelly beans?
I'll eat half a licorice, put it back in the thing typically is how I eat licorice.
Yeah I know I'm familiar with that.
That's pretty common.
But like again like I'd eat like escargot, snails, I love calamari.
You know I'll eat the fucking shrimp with the head on it at the...
Oh, okay, here's, you know, I do hate, we've discussed slimy meat,
the congealed slimy meats that the Chinese make.
I hate that.
All that shit's weird.
I don't like like really slimy shit.
Well, okay.
I've tried to like oysters, they're fine,
but I can eat an oyster without getting disgusted by it also.
So I don't know.
It's just mayonnaise, huh? Okay.
It's really, and again, I will eat mayonnaise, I'm not disgusted by it, I don't want to look at mayonnaise is the thing.
If you show me like a bowl of mayonnaise, I'll go, oh, get that away from me.
What's the longest you've ever not gone to a fast food restaurant?
Oh, the day? What do you mean? I don't know. Two days? Like the longest amount of time that you've gone between going to a fast food restaurant. Oh, the day? What do you mean? I don't know. Like the longest amount of time that it's that you've gone between going to a fast
food restaurant. Two days probably. Two days.
Two, three days. I'll eat fast food at least once a week.
Do you make sandwiches at home? Do you have shit in your fridge?
I will get stuff to make sandwiches and then I make the sandwich and it's just not
that good. So I go ahead.
Well, it's food.
Well, it doesn't have to be good.
See, that's the difference between me and you is that I go, there's nothing on this
earth that I enjoy other than food.
So why don't I just eat food?
So enjoy nothing!
It's perfect!
I like enjoying things.
Like literally every day I wake up and I go awesome a new day I get to eat stuff.
Like that's my favorite thing. Like I get it because if I order something and I get
the wrong thing or it sucks I feel like I wasted that eating. I'm like god damn it.
Yeah! You wasted a meal. You went oh that was terrible. Like I made ravioli the other
day. It was fine but I went oh I could have made it better. It could have been tastier.
I'll cook when I can you know. Alright. also, that's the other problem with me is like, I like to cook more elaborate
meals that take a little bit of time, like throwing a sandwich together.
I don't know.
I should get some hot dogs.
I had hot dogs.
Hot dogs?
I got some bratwurst in the- I got some rats in the fridge I gotta cook.
Yeah, do that.
Alright.
You don't like hot dogs?
You don't make hot dogs?
Yeah, I do. You gotta, you know hot dogs. You don't make hot dogs Yeah, I do
You gotta get a good natural casing Frank. They're hard to get
Why are they hard to get? Well, you got to pay more money and you can't get them. Where they're most delis. I
Guess I could go to Whole Foods. I have to get them in like a
you know package in the like
What's that black forest black Angus?
You know, a package in the... like, uh... What's that? Black Forest? Black Angus?
Black Angus.
Boar's Head. Boar's Head makes it.
Boar's Head, yeah.
Yeah, Boar's Head makes the naturopathy friends.
That's a treat if I get myself a Boar's Head sausage.
I'll get a Boar's Head sausage, I'll get a container of sauerkraut.
Fry it up a little bit.
Okay, I had a food problem. I'm not gonna do that one.
Do you do shallots?
What is a shallot?
Shallots like a little like a little red onion kind of thing. They're delicious. I've been putting shallots in fucking everything
They're just infinitely better than onions
So it's an onion?
Yeah, but you can take like a little I have given mandolin slicer like a little mandolin slicer
I don't know what that is
Mandolin slicer is you know you take the thing and you go, it's got two blades, you
just go cut cut cut cut cut and make thin slices of the thing. Like a knife?
No. I don't have what you're talking about that goes like this. Well you should get a
mandolin slicer. Well I don't know, it's like a carrot peeler, is that what it is?
No. Okay. Kind of. I don't have what you're talking about. Regardless, you take the shallot, you just go
scrape it across and you got these delightful little shallot strings.
Throw them in the pan, maybe a tiny bit of oil to add some color.
I spent all my weird shit allowance on your stuff this month. I can't get a mandolin slicer. I can't afford it.
The mandolin slicer costs like ten bucks.
I can't afford that right now.
I will send you a mandolin slicer.
I bought too much shit.
Right now. I will send you a mandolin place.
I bought too much shit.
Uh...
Okay, my problem is, uh...
It's called an- an ask-hole.
People who ask for advice, and then don't take it.
Yes.
Are you familiar with something?
I don't know anyone like this.
Hahahaha!
I'm excited to learn about these people.
Very excited.
Vito, I, let me go to Reddit.
I'm very excited to learn about these individuals.
I saw this go up on Reddit and I went, oh no.
Oh no, I don't understand what you're referring to.
What was it Vito?
This has been fantastic.
How can I make this show better?
I get a lot, this is posted by you on reddit
I get a lot I hear a lot of complaints, but a lack of specifics
I'm honestly trying my best so tell me I have I asked for feedback
And I think I implemented some of the feedback this week which is people yeah
And the first first one pops up is he says something you say I have made it a point to not bring him up immediately arguing with this guy.
Yes, yes.
Well, I think they said to talk less about Riley.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, that's me agreeing. I said that's a very good point you've made.
And that, that is an asshole at its core.
Asking for advice then hammering them back immediately.
Well, I think sometimes people give you advice and you have to explain why their advice is bad.
You know, like, I think that's helpful to them for the next time they want to give advice.
I know that!
Is that they can think a little harder about how they can make their advice useful.
I know that you think that, But that's not how it works!
I'm helping the advice process along
by being like, well that was bad
advice, maybe now you can give some good
advice, you know?
I think that's useful to them, is like, oh
I give bad advice, well now I'll give good
advice. You're so much
of an asshole that people
will send their advice to me to have me give them advice on how to relate it to me.
Change it so that you will be more receptive to it.
Interesting.
I mean, advice that comes along with toys and games and tchotchkes, you know,. If you sent me a letter attached to some magic cards,
then I would go, well, that's good advice.
That I can use.
I have to thank our fan who sent me a delightful
Doctor Strange counter spell with some advice to-
Dr. Strange?
The Marvel?
Yeah, this was a rare promo they gave out at Comic-Con.
It's your good friend, Dr. Strange.
God. Countering a spell. The Final Fantasy Magic cards are coming out. Yeah, when?
Everybody's paying too much money for them. They're in pre-sale right now so they'll be out June 4th.
Something like that. Here's, Google said this about assholes. Yes. One of the
reasons they do it. Because everybody, I don't know if you know this, but everybody
hates it. Everybody hates it hates everybody doesn't like it
Well, that's a piece of advice that I could see this is useful advice. That's not advice
I'm just asking if you're aware. I wish that in this thread, you know, I wish people
I'm just going out there, you know asking for advice and then trying to curtail the bad advice to really nail down the good advice
I don't oh funny understand. I was going through I'm like, oh, he's not going to like that one.
Oh, he's going to argue with it.
Oh, there we go.
I see it.
You know, I learned a lot from that.
I learned a lot from that thread.
I think I have taken a lot of good advice.
Maybe I should thank people for their thank you for the advice
you guys gave me on Reddit.
It's all been very useful.
Oh, yeah, that's true.
That might be a that's a different tactic.
Certainly, thank you for your good advice instead of unthinking people Very useful. Oh yeah, that's true. That might be a, that's a different tactic, certainly.
Thanking people for good advice
instead of un-thanking people for advice you don't like.
I just wanna, you know, nail down
what the real criticism is, you know?
Like, what are you really saying here?
This is it.
Seeking validation, it says,
some people ask for advice
not because they're genuinely seeking guidance
But because they want to ensure their decision or thought process is validated by others
Interesting that's like they already know what they want to do and they're giving the illusion that they'll change is what I'm hearing
No, that's the second one actually. That's the second one. Yeah, this one is more
This one is more like they want
Credit for a decision they have or something they already did.
Something they've already decided and they, okay.
Yeah, they want like no advice possible.
This one is a decision they already made but haven't done yet.
They might have already made up their mind and are seeking confirmation rather than alternative
perspectives.
That's an interesting one.
Well, if anybody has any advice to give them to stop putting so much mayonnaise on my chicken
nerves, now that I could use.
Most of what you guys gave me on the Reddit thread, it's unusable, unfortunately.
It's really like, this is really actually a very big problem.
People asking for advice and then you're annoyed, you give it to them and then they argue with
you with it or they don't do it.
Everybody does it, like everybody does it,
everybody does it and everybody has it happen to them.
And it's always annoying.
It's always annoying and you're aware that it's annoying
and what's happening, but then you, me, everyone
will do it right away.
It's like extremely difficult to stop even yourself
from doing it.
Well, I'm implementing, I think I'm trying to implement advice on this show.
Even things that you have said you think I don't hear you. I hear you.
I mean, do you want me... I could send you a letter and I could say,
you know, Dick, this... No, no, no.
Exactly. Well, that's the thing. So you just have to wait to see the results, right?
I'm just busting your balls because I thought that Reddit thread was so funny.
Here's what I need actual advice about.
Here, do you think they're like, dude, just relax?
Don't worry about it.
Well, there has been a lot of catastrophizing.
There has been a lot of people saying Vito, you're trying to destroy the show.
You're trying to destroy Dick Masterson.
And I don't think I'm trying to do that.
Dick, hopefully you don't think I'm trying to destroy you or your brand. And if you think I am, I I'm trying to do that. Dick, hopefully you don't think I'm trying to destroy you
or your brand and if you think I am,
I don't want to do that.
I mean, I think you're just a goofball.
You think I'm just on meth and I'm insane?
Listen, yeah, I think that shit
that the psychiatrist gave you is,
I think all shit that psychiatrists give are dangerous.
You know, like that guy said.
I think I was actually, and I'm not gonna go into it,
I was on, you know, you that guy said, I think I was actually, and I'm not going to go into it. I was on,
uh, you know, you're always trying out different things. I've gone off everything except for again,
the ADHD medication. Cause I think it helps me concentrate.
I, yeah, well, I think it was worse when I was on other stuff that I'm not gonna talk about but again
I have more of a clarity lately
Was doing a lot of aras metaz and skittle stick
Here's the real advice I need guys is
How do I win back Carl?
How do I do it? Because I can't do it
Yeah, I got to be honest with you canceling, all that shit around hackamania.
Yeah.
Was real bad.
Right.
It was very stressful.
A lot of undue stress.
Put a lot of stress on relationships.
Well, then let me say here.
I would do nothing for a while. if I was trying to get back.
I'll do nothing.
All right, that's fair, but I want to say this, and I've thought about this.
I do want to apologize chiefly to Patrick Melton, who did a great job putting on a great
show.
Obviously, there's a lot that goes into putting on a show.
You're trying to coordinate a lot of different performers.
He did a good job putting on a great show.
I don't know if I was-
He did a great job putting on a great show.
What did you say?
He did a good job putting on a great show.
He did a great job.
Why are you downgrading it to a good job?
Well, I mean, cause I mean, he knows what he did.
He did a good job putting on a great show.
That was a really, he found a really good venue.
The show... I mean, our show did have some audio issues at the front,
but he sent us a fixed version of it, and that's fine.
See?
Okay.
There was... there wasn't...
But, you know, again, it's a new venue.
You're trying out new audio solutions, and they...
I don't know why we had to be the test show to figure out the audio solutions,
but whatever. We're the dummies. We're causing a lot of
problems. No no you didn't cause any problems hold on I'm not gonna put any of that on you.
Well yes it is because Carl I'm I know Carl and Carl recommended us for that
show more because he can vouch for me. It's my fault you did nothing wrong.
Yeah but you don't understand how it works like that though.
Well, I don't think anybody's upset with you.
I created Undo's Stress for Patrick Melton, who was just trying to put on a good show.
There were ways I could have handled it.
I got hot under the collar.
Yeah, the old do nothing. That's usually the best way to...
Well, I'll say this is obviously... I don't know if you know this about me.
I hope you've noticed this is that I do have anger issues that I work very...
I work very hard to not...
Yeah.
It's very... I work very hard to manage them. I used to be a much angrier person.
How many holes?
You've been punched in walls.
I've thrown... I don't holes have you punched in walls?
I've thrown, I don't think I've punched in walls, but you know, I've thrown in stuff.
You don't have an angry issue then.
I know real hole punches.
Like you've punched six holes in walls,
give one free of kind of guys.
I have worked my whole life,
and I think it runs in the family.
My father had a temper, maybe it's genetic, I don't know.
I've worked very hard to try and restrain my anger, but you know occasionally
The old crazy angry veto just gets hot under the collar
And starts making phone calls because again you're fired up you're heated you know
Yeah, yeah, it is one of my one of my greatest flaws honestly
It's part of the reason weed instead of doing all these part of the reason I gotta be honest part of the reason I don't go out I don't
you know I limit my social interactions or whatever is I'm always very worried
that I could fly off the handle get angry and you know create I've created
embarrassing situations do my anger yeah yeah you know if I start getting like
extended social interactions I'm like I'm worried something will happen. I'll become upset
I'll start fighting and getting into shit with everybody really
I I try to avoid being around people for extended period of time because I'm like terrified that I'm gonna
I'm gonna lose it and you know just fuck you and blah blah blah, you know get very different
I'm very defensive. You know that I'm the Incredible Hulk You don't want us well you don't want to see me when I'm angry
because I go I'm canceling all the comedy shows I'm canceling all the comedy shows ah there's an
anger there it is a it is a of the things about myself that are most dangerous and destructive. Yeah.
It's this, I try and I've worked my whole life to try and keep it, uh, restrained and
not to not act on it.
Cause when I act on it, yeah, it goes bad.
So I will apologize Patrick Melton.
I lost, uh, I lost my temper.
I was an angry guy and when I'm an angry guy, I make very bad decisions.
And obviously that made it hard for you to do your show and that's not fair to you
Okay, and obviously dick you had some of that you had to deal with angry veto a little bit yourself as well
So any mischief or any any problems that were caused by that? I apologize
Okay, apology accepted
Thanks to the guy on reddit who told me to say all that and he wrote that script for me. That was how- I'm just kidding.
That's from my heart!
Yeah.
Shit, did I fuck it up? I don't fucking know! No, it's fine. Great.
It's not supposed to feel good. Fear of change, the advice- I don't want it to feel good,
but I just don't want it to come off like, oh, Vito's a fuck- I don't know, man.
I want you to know it's a
Shit, this is my
Look here's the thing
Maybe I'm in a disingenuous little fuck and everything
But that's what sale but here's what I'm saying is like I the biggest fear I have and this is neron and not the biggest fear
But this is a neurotic problem with me as I worry I say stuff and people go well
You just you know you're just a disingenuous little fucking liar, and you know so I don't know how to be genuine
Well, I don't fucking know who's paying attention to what anybody says anyway
Idiots the audience insanely so they send me messages about it every day because you let them know that they can wind you up
Nobody sends me shit about shit
Yeah, they send you shit about me
They're Ted they're a be testing me to wind you up here
Should I send this to veto will this mess with his? Like no. That's good. Don't send that. Point is I've rededicated
Myself to the Lord Jesus Christ and moving forward everything will be fine. That's good
Until I get set off again and spiral out of control. Fear of change. At least it'll be fun
The advice might be hard to implement or align with their personal values lack of self-confidence
They might not be able to act upon the advice due to self-doubt or fear of failure.
That's pretty good. That's- I hear that. There's a lot of doubt.
Not convincing enough. The advice might not be presented in a way that they find persuasive, so that's on them. Interesting.
That's what I'm talking about!
Ask-hole behavior. Someone who consistently asks for advice but ignores it or disregards it.
Hahahaha! There you go, that's my problem.
I appreciate, look, I appreciate, and let me be very clear to the audience and to you,
is that I hear what you guys are saying.
I think people think I'm trying to ruin the show by fighting with the audience.
I always thought fighting with people was fun, but I guess it's not fun.
I won't do it if it's not fun.
I only want to do what's entertaining.
My job is to be entertaining.
If I'm not being entertaining, I don't deserve your money and I'm doing a bad job.
When I make those things, I go... People said, hey, it's not entertaining when you
fight with the audience.
I've heard that.
I will stop fighting with the audience,
because I don't want to do an entertaining show.
I want everybody to have fun on some level.
Like, you know, it gets complicated.
Obviously, the show is about me fighting with you.
They like that.
I mean, I don't know what it's about.
I don't know what it's about.
OK, but I shouldn't. It it's about that. They don't want me fighting with... I don't know what it's about, okay?
It's just a show about like nitpicking,
talking about big problems in a nitpicky way,
and nitpicky problems in a big way.
That's it. Right.
I mean, it's just a comedy show.
Well, I'm mentally handicapped,
and I... no, that's a dodge.
Look, I'm trying my best.
That's a dodge as well.
I don't know how to talk is the problem.
I overanalyze everything that comes out of my fucking mouth.
I think you just want an apology to feel good and they're not supposed to.
So you're keeping talking until it feels good.
No, it's not that. It doesn't need to feel good.
It doesn't need to feel good.
Uh...
I just... I want... I wish there was a way to tell people you meant something.
But I guess the only way you can do that is through actions.
So I will try to be entertaining.
I will try to be less skintanker actions. So I will try to be entertaining, I will try to be less skin tankerous, and I will try
to be funny, because that's the show.
Well, those are the problems.
And I will look at all of your bad advice, and I'll see if there's anything there I can
use. I doubt it, but I'll try. I'll try my best.
TMM, what was your other one? TMM and plastic poison beer.
Plastic beer.
Whatever you want to put it as.
All right. And mine was the war on porn and ask-holes.
Please put my problem as TMM parentheses too much mayo.
Yeah, too much mayo. All right.
There you go.
I don't have any voicemails
because I just I have like a I have a maximum amount of sound I can hear
before things start going wrong. Dick is suffering from a genuine health problem
and we're gonna be respectful. The problem is I don't know what it is nobody
knows what it is I'm hoping it's is, I'm hoping it's a tumor.
I'm hoping it's a little tumor in my brain,
but it could be TMJ.
Jesus fucking Christ.
It could be TMJ, which means-
Tumor's good why?
Because they could take it out?
They could take it out, and it would fix everything.
TMJ is bad because it's caused by-
TMJ is what?
Stress, just like clenching your jaw.
Is that what Sean had? Yeah, but he does. Yes. He was he vaccinated. She's had it for his whole life
Yeah, but I'm saying the point that's for what those jokes
I was gonna say maybe you got it from him. No, no, no, no, no way because the vaccine protects us all. Yeah. Yeah, it's great
Yeah, it's great. Um, it's great. The vaccine's great. The vaccine's great.
Yeah, so I don't know if it's loud noises.
I don't know if it's TMJ.
I don't know if it's allergies.
I don't know if it's a tumor.
I hope it's TMJ and that I can get control of it
because this is a really fucked way to do shows
where I have to listen like basically on mute.
And because there's no sound, because it's almost muted,
the ringing gets worse and worse and worse over like two hours
because the sound is isolated.
So that's why there's not voicemails and stuff,
but that's the end of the show.
Go to biggestproblem.show, patreon.com slash biggest problem.
We'll do a real bonus.
That's why all the bonus episodes are behind too, because it's very hard for me to do these.
We're all, yeah.
Well, man, is it getting any, does it feel any better?
Does it feel like- Yeah, it did, but then two days ago-
Are the some days good, some days bad? Yeah. Some days are worse than others. So let's do Super Chats. Let's get to the
Super Chats. Let's see if they fixed them. Guys, don't forget vote on the
problem's biggest problem to show. And we're on Kick now. Kick. Kick.com slash biggest
problem show. Next week will be not a Sonic bonus episode but hopefully a
different bonus episode. Yeah. Maybe Digimon or another beloved French. I'm
just kidding. We'll figure it out. What's going on next month? I don't even know.
Poor Blowblox. He was... look I'm gonna say this. He got roasted because you kind of set him up for
failure like with a fake out bonus episode.
No, hold on, hold on. The episode is very listenable. I'm not gonna say it's AAA, but it's not the disaster people are saying.
I just wanted to get something out before the end of the month. I'd say it is very good.
And, I don't know if you saw that I got the show retweeted on drama alert. So in a way it worked out anyway.
I said, if I get Bo Blacks on the show, we're going to get a little bit of free
press. We get a little boost there. You know, people come in, they want to hear
what Bo Blacks is up to.
Were you trying to clown on him for not being good with money?
I don't actually know. No, I don't know his current situation I just see like little tweets going around
like Bo Blacks was making all this money on Twitter but now he's got to sell his
house he's gonna sell his car so I just kind of was like hey what's going on
like do you I don't know I didn't know exactly what was going on I didn't know
it was something that it was like he can't talk about it because then other
people are gonna talk about it I thought people probably already knew what was
going on but I guess not okay well I told him
he's gotta get a car though you know he had a Tesla where does he live Canada
oh what do you need a car for in Canada you need something to drive around Indians
to carry you around everywhere if you're a little if you're a little you know you
know carrying him around, her around.
Look, if he wants to be in the gender non-fluid binary community, you need a,
you need a car to pick up all these degenerates.
Oh, let's get into it.
LJ clobberino for two.
Thank you for not killing yourselves.
Coup for two who was late to the game says thank you for not killing yourselves.
LJ clobberino for two says not some of you should.
Mr. Sturgey for five. Okay, everyone
Make sure you get your super chats in and vote on all the problems at biggestproblem.show
Synthetic shinobi for five the funniest bit the show ever came up with was dick and Riley criticizing veto for using drugs. Oh
Yeah synthetic shinobi, huh? I think he said that a couple times this week. He's really impressed
by that observation.
I'm just going to say, of all the people in your general sphere who have had drug-related
issues, I don't think I'm in the top five.
I don't have any drug-related issues.
I didn't say you have drug-related issues.
I said people in your...
I know they're bad.
I'm like, oh yeah.
I said people in your sphere you have engaged in the
Broadcast with a number of individuals who have had wild drug shenanigans
I don't know Vito a year of your of whatever shit you've been doing
Has been your excellent broadcasting a year of you know what that's like that's something that addicts say though like they're like
How could I be an addict look at all this money? I make like yeah, I don't know man
Your fucking mind is in your emotions have been a little bit out of whack
I think first of all my emotions are where they've always been I think I'm nuts
You just didn't see it before
That's that's exactly right. That is exactly the point of what I'm talking about!
They're supposed to be hidden!
It's called emotional regulation!
You know what? I just can't... I can't deal with this nonsense right now.
I can't. Just put them all in my... alright, anyway.
Let's see.
Frogwashing for two. Heard there, why am I so fat?
That's a quote from Vito, probably. Suki life gives you lemons. Yeah, eat them camera for two
biggest problem universe more like
TBP is
Very good bow biggest piss biggest piss. Yeah, I don't know what that is exactly
Lowel no for two says I loved the sonic bonus episode and I am tripling my Patreon.
Thank you Lolno.
Puffbang for 50.
Biggest problem is never being able to catch the live shows because they start at 3 AM
for me.
Oh, that's not good.
Stay up.
Baldr for two.
Let's see how badly Veto messes this one up.
ShotgunOrphan for five.
Veto's solution for the show is to post two awful videos in one week
Can't wait for him to do the same as super killer. The show is fine. By the way, just relax
I like Bo-Blex. I'm gonna find a use for Bo-Blex. Q for two genocide the Vita files
Boss hog for $279. Canadian says here's some meth money, thank you. Fidel Cashflow for $5, the problem is California just gives that shit out, so.
Fidel Cashflow for $5, glad the show isn't over, but if it was or if you need a break, we completely understand.
Hope you're okay, Dick. Get that comic out, Vito.
I'm not.
Yeah.
Yeah. Well, yeah, hopefully it works out. I don't know.
What tone am I supposed to take in regards to illness?
I don't think you have that tone
Well, that's what I'm saying. Like am I supposed to go? Well, you know, I'm rooting for you. Whatever you want
I don't I don't care. I don't care how people react. All right thoughts and prayers
SS Jacken for ten glad to see the show still here dick. Thanks for signing my book at hackamania
It meant a lot Vito told me the plot of super killer 2 and it sounds hilarious print the book
please thank you coach cake for five says I pulled my biggest problem patreon
gave it to the dick show veto thank you you have to shout to the congregation I
have abandoned my boy I've been told I need a, there will be blood style breakdown.
So maybe we can organize that.
We can have a chapel.
Cameron for two, play Vito short.
He put on the biggest problem page.
You guys can see it, it's in shorts.
I don't think we're playing clips.
Diamond G for two, Sonic episode was as creative
as I love lamp.
And for another two, he says,
I mean, what an entertainer.
Wow. Had some good problems on that episode. Black Crimson for 10. as I love Lamp and for another two he says I mean what an entertainer wow I
had some good problems on that episode. Black Crimson for ten my first problem
was making Sonic Jewish originally was played by Jaleel White a proud black
African-American actors taken away from him giving her Ben Swartzman because you
know kind of help our boys. Come on yeah Yeah, okay. And second one I had was good as well.
Oh, I talked about Yuji Naka, creator of Sonic,
and his meteoric downfall after screwing up Sonic
for a long time and then getting arrested
for insider trading.
Oh.
It's a fun little history lesson.
Sounds cool.
Bo Blacks bought in a red character he doesn't like
that no one had ever heard of, I said well we're in trouble now
Hey, I went bo-lux which are probably goes. I don't like Xandor and I go
Yeah, all right. Let's uh, let's learn about Xandor
You know, he's a good kid. Yeah Great kid. Let's learn about Xandor. You know he's a good kid.
Yeah, he is.
He's a great kid.
Let's see here.
You could have waited till Dick...
Black Crimson pretenses you could have waited till Dick was free to challenge each other
to a Sonic 2 showdown.
I don't think that's happening anytime soon.
But maybe we'll do a video game thing at some point.
Milk or cream for five Canadian.
Happy Friday.
Keep staying classy.
Unlike some of these whiny, foam faces complaining whining without it being funny
Screw those guys
Skitz oh Sean for 10 watch out for a special after problem stream live from Dallas fan Expo guys skitz
Oh, Sean is at the Dallas fan Expo. He is a he I believe Eric called
Security on him to get him. Oh, yeah, I had that video
Well, do you?
You guys wanna watch that video?
I would love to, I haven't actually watched it,
I just saw it still.
Yeah, Sean, what's his name?
This is SkitsOtobie.
This is SkitsOtobie, who we met at Hackamania.
He's a good friend and a fan of the show.
Yeah, um, shit.
I did an entire episode about how the Sonic episode
is the worst thing he ever heard,
and he hopes I clean up my act,
so thank you SkitsOtobwn for staying on top of me. I don't know how to do like a
new layout in here whoops. Well can you remove this overlay just go into
overlay remove that. Yeah but I don't know how to get the video on here. Hit
present do you see the present tab with the little plus? I'm kind of afraid to do
that. Well it'll give you a list of your tabs and then you choose the tab that has the video in it. What if I
accidentally look up gay porn and then I accidentally... That's why I use a
different Chrome browser whenever I stream on StreamYard. What if I
accidentally do it on all of them though? Then we're gonna watch pornography and
the channel's gonna get banned. But who- you know, it is what it is.
Uh, while you find out how to find that.
Okay, I got it, I got it, I figured it out.
You got it? Alright. But you gotta get rid of this overlay we have,
because it's gonna split the video in half.
Yeah, yeah.
So just turn that off briefly.
Okay. Do I have any pornography on here?
You can see. Uh, no. Doesn't sound like it.
Okay, there we go.
And, uh-oh, did it work?
There's that.
Okay.
Then the video overlay.
That would be in the settings on the right.
Why is my mouse moving around?
Well, cause we can see your mouse on your screen.
Whoa.
Oh, okay.
I can't see.
Alright, so this is the Dallas Fan Expo.
This is famously Eric's stomping ground when he's got his new comic stuff going on.
Eight minutes!
Alright.
Him and all his YouTuber buddies are here.
Yeah, Sean, I gotta say, you fucked up not getting us to the action.
Should have done a supercut.
I am at the Dallas Fan Expo.
And we are going to be pulling up to Eric J who should be on the right here, booth 90.
This is where I'll have Superkiller here next year at the Dallas Fan Expo. That'll be fun.
Where is he? Where is he? We're hopping up.
Skip ahead to him finding Eric July because I feel like there's going to be a lot of wandering.
Oh no no there there it is!
Oh, he found it very quick!
Damn it!
Oh, it's near the front.
Look at that Achromatocronicles banner!
Now that's exciting.
Wow.
There's a Boba Fett, there's the Soskas, there's trash on the ground.
Wow, that's a big booth.
He's got a double wide, baby.
He's got to make room for all his YouTube friends
Writer of isom owner of the rip-a-verse. I don't know why you had to put that
He's got writer of ice on is yours in you in the top billing is writer of ice some
Alright, man
That's a little weird
Thanks, you yeah That's a little weird. Make sure you put a rattle of isom. A rattle of isom.
Why don't you put like YouTube doofus or something.
You're well known for that.
Cause that's the one that everybody likes is isom.
Everybody loves isom.
Chuck Dixon told me that isom is the heart of the rip-a-verse.
The heart of it is keeping all the other stories together.
Yabba is not the heart. She's more like the lungs of the rip-a-verse, which you need to breathe.
And she can breathe ice, which is very powerful.
Dude, look at how much shit they brought in.
Look at all this shit they brought in.
All this like-
Are there any Blood Root plushies yet?
Did you see the Blood Root plushie was on a $5 discount?
Because he probably made way too many of these.
That's too bad.
I don't know how that happened.
Alright. Cuz you probably made way too many of these gotta get rid of. Aww that's too bad. I don't know how that happened.
Alright.
The sauce guys.
Wait is he talking about security?
Did you hear that?
Who? The guys near him?
Yeah yeah listen listen listen.
The sauce guys. I heard the word security. Yeah he said I brought my own security or something like that. The era... The Soskas!
I heard the word security!
Yeah, he said I brought my own security or something like that.
Is this guy security?
What ends- yeah, I think that guy is actually security and he said,
specifically, yeah, they called security and said you're not allowed to film Mr. Eric July.
Okay, okay, let's keep watching.
He's too big a big shot.
The Soska Sisters. shot whoa wait a minute what no
Erica the Soska's are there you can record now but when the talent shows up
you can't you can't record the talent oh my god what so this is his like little
security guy yeah oh my god what is he like an actor?
I mean he's gotta lock it down you never know what could happen anyone could pull up.
What a fucking idiot.
Let me see this again.
But no air can close you.
Yeah you can record now but when the talent's here not allowed to record.
Okay.
Okay.
I got you.
What the hell?
Why do you care?
Oh they're leaving! Are they leaving because he's recording? They're leaving because they're fat. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Warehouse so he's a known entity Vito you see why it sounds so bad when you call yourself the talent Did you hear how he said it? Well? I am the talent, but that's different cuz I have talent
Bunch of guys trying to get in line I
Get ahead cuz when security shows up
This is oh this is there coming Oh my god, it's Eric! Alright, get ahead because when security shows up, remove this joke.
Oh, this is Eric coming in. Oh my gooooow. Right away with the hand on the back.
Dude, I bet her getting fat is like a huge, like Eric's wife should be worried.
If these white bitches are putting on probably 40 pounds between both of them, that's, me, I would be disgusted, but.
But a black man says there's more cushion for the pushing.
Yeah.
He likes them thick.
That's dangerous.
He's probably feeding them.
He's probably trying, he's going,
I gotta get these sas, cause they ain't got no ass.
I gotta fatten these bitches up.
He's giving them TMM, if you know what I mean.
Look at the size of her.
Remember these girls were tiny back in the Yaira live they were like anorexic before
Yeah, they were like purely on witches brew
Sandwiches yeah children in their gingerbread hut
Oh, this is about to become a thing
Not a big crowd.
Who wants a hug? Oh no, oh no, he's...
You made it!
Oh no.
Is this how they get the guys?
Good plant, good job, Sean. Escape.
Eric, escape.
Now I heard Eric ignores
Okay, yeah, I got
Can I just
He's interrupting the fan oh man
the fan. Oh man. Uh, okay.
Yeah, wait.
Eric's doing an IRL block
right now. Is he wearing
bunny ears? Sean? I think he's
wearing the hat. I think he has the bunny hat.
So Eric must have recognized.
He's photo bombing them right now.
Okay.
Eric.
Eric, come on
man. Can I just get a hike from comic state? Eric he's ignoring
me folks he's just ignoring the bunny man he said pull up. Eric where you going you
bitch? Eric you fucking coward what happened to Bob and talk like men Eric? You said if You bitch
Anybody shows up you would engage them you said show up
Eric, I mean his ex pussy hold on hold on hold on so his explanation of pull up was always if you got a problem with Me come to the con. We'll talk it out like man hash it out
Yeah, you said it's not about a physical altercation. We'll talk it out like man. Well, this was this was your opportunity
To bury the hatchet with the bunny man and what it's not happening. What a coward
Unbelievable. I'm actually surprised that he's not like the move. I think from Eric would be to go. What's up?
Yeah, you comics guide. All right, cool, man, you know like
Hiding behind the little little barrier. They there waiting for security to take the guy out.
It's crazy.
He's hiding behind there, texting Brandon to call the cops.
I guarantee you.
Guys, they're ignoring the bunny man.
This is so sad.
There he is, there he is.
He's got the hat.
And he has the respect my authoritie t-shirt as well.
Oh my god.
Hey, is that uh, Deandre?
N-D-Andrew or whatever the fuck?
Uh, I don't know.
I guess so. All the stars are here.
None of them look like their pictures, so it's impossible to tell.
All the stars are here.
Did you know what you could always say?
Oh, yeah.
Uh, yeah. Eric just got here.
Eric just got here, he's hiding.
Eric just got here, guys.
He's cowering in fear in the background.
He needs a moment to collect himself from the trauma
of the bunny man.
And then he'll be here to sign you young eyesome statues.
He's getting two fat handjobs
in the back
with the Soskas right now.
He'll be out in about 45 minutes.
This is crazy.
Now security shows up, I think,
to get this guy out of here, right?
They go, hey, you got a lead.
Folks, we got a ISOM.
Yeah.
Yeah, security, I believe, has been called at this point.
We got this guy who's very-
Oh, across the hall!
Just in case he's scoping him. He's got the double agent on his head.
Shouldn't you have your security guy not wear a giant Riververse comic t-shirt?
Doesn't that kind of tell any potential violent threat who he's got to worry about?
He's like, uh, what's that guy's name in the Revenant? Tom...
Tom Hardy? Tom hardy tom hardy. Yeah. Yeah tom little tom hardy over here little tom hardy
They told me that guy's alpha corbenion very cool
Get ready a lot of good merch I
Don't know where the blood. I don't know where the blood through the prolyshe's are
We got one Yaira statue on the table very exciting. I
Will say Eric's got that big old booth that you would think we'd have more signage, but okay
He's heavy-djibbity-face. Ah! He saw him! He saw him! There he is!
Oh! Ah! He got smooth! He saw him! He looked over!
He glanced over! He says, that bunny guy's over there!
Ah! I see him! Ah! He looked! He looked!
Guys, we gotta slow this down.
Is that bunny man? Is the bunny man still here?
Somebody needs to take out the bunny man. I'm scared.
Right? There it is!
Ah! That's the shot! Busted!
That's the shot! Right there it is
It was at that moment he knew he fucked up
And then the siren comes in his whole day
Because he's such a crybaby
He's got to get him out of there. Oh look at that
Extended eye contact. Yeah, he's going this guy could do anything
If only the cops had taken him out when I called him the first time clearly Brandon did not express urgency
Because this guy makes a move. I'm gonna run
Dude he's looking at him the whole time look at that the bunny man gets any closer We just start running for the doors anything could happen one two three
Again four
He keeps looking over
Like I don't know man, I don't know what I'm gonna do Somebody pulled up, and I don't know how to handle. I don't know man I don't know what I'm gonna do somebody pulled up and
I don't know how to handle it I don't know how to handle it I don't know
what's going down
yeah I still got ice some number one the foil and no that's number two that's the foil cover. Is that, those are 100? Oh, what's this? Oh, oh, oh! Here she comes, a lady.
The law is here.
So Eric and little Tom Hardon here
went and got a lady cop, a lady cop.
To deal with this threat, this big threat.
Convention cop to kick out the bunny man.
At the con co-
Good, I'm gonna need you to put that away,
because you know the rules.
What are the rules?
The rules are that you can't be filming in here, especially-
You can't film in here at all?
These guys?
But I- can I film in here at all?
You can film certain areas, but not here.
Not where the VIPs are.
And why is that?
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Not where the VIPs are.
Dude, I have never heard that you can't film where the VIP at all. HILD. HILD. HILD. HILD. HILD. HILD. HILD. Are there famous people somewhere? Cause I don't fucking see any
The stupid YouTube area Okay
What are the rules?
Specifically, I can't film where?
When they've asked you not to
They didn't ask me not to film
You didn't tell me I couldn't film
Respectfully, I said, sir, can you please not film?
You were telling me to like get in the back of the line
and you said HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA They're telling me to like get in the back of the line. Hahahaha!
Don't film the VIPs, folks.
Why the fuck does it matter if this little, uh, short guy said not to film?
Who cares?
I-I-I-yeah, well that's the worst thing is it's like...
Respectfully I did. Fuck you.
Respectfully I told you not to film. The talent.
Not to not film. Okay, so can you not to film the talent
What is this doing back here in hailing?
Does she have a gun strapped around her cases? She's got to take people out. I think it's an iPad
Yeah, I don't know what's going on. Look at. I think she's like no cuz it's like yeah Well, what are you gonna do? Is she a real cop or like a convention security?
Yeah, no, I'm gonna keep filming. Oh, I guess I have to go get a real cop then. What is this?
She's she like I can't believe they would disrespect Yaira like this
like this. Eric can you say hi to comics gate for me buddy? Yeah, I'm just gonna walk over here. She's gonna walk away. What do you gotta say to comics gate you pussy?
Eric can you say hi to comicsScape for me, buddy? Just ignore me. Oh my, Eric, I pulled up and you just ignored me.
Oh no.
Oh.
I'm a funny man.
This is why you don't hire a five foot lady
to try and shut down recording,
because you just hold the phone over her head,
she's fucked.
Well good work, sir.
That was SkizzoshonTV.
You can find him on YouTube at youtube.com Slash skizzoshonTV
What a bitch
Who I believe tonight will be showing more exciting content
In his after problems stream
So check him out
Shameful
Wow
Shameful
Pull up, I just wanna talk man to man
Hi, I'm a
Normal build guy in a bunny hat.
I need a lady to get this guy out of here.
All right.
He's a real gangster from the street guys.
Mike Litteris for five, flight and two nights stay
at a nice hotel, $1,100.
Calling Vito a big fat pig to his face, priceless.
For another two, see you in Boston, Richard.
Well, you're not gonna get to do that
because I'm not gonna be there.
The locks for two, thank God I ain't white.
For another two, he says,
I hope you had a good Feaster Sunday Vito bus emoji.
I did have a good Feaster Sunday.
Lawrence Devaney for five,
and to think the Vito war started
because Mint couldn't figure out Venmo. GG everyone. That was part of it. Spider Eternal
for two. Biggest problem is a lazy bonus episode. I put a lot of work into those problems. I
liked them. Oglevich for two. Veto broke into my home and molested my cat. Dig Panenski
for five fifty six says garbled audio. I don't know what you're talking about. I think the
audio sounds good this time. We did some work on it. A for two. If I won't thank Boblax for not killing himself.
Icarus for 20 bucks says the Sonic episode was good. My money proves it. I liked it.
Johnny Rockett five says the colors look great Vito. Thank you Johnny Rockett purveyor of
the maniac. Wrecker for five Sonic bonus episode was trash veto keep that on your own channel. I'm really starting to miss the old show
This is the old show cool for two do the fast food shoe with tookie
I did have fun talking about fast food with tookie
So maybe maybe me and him could talk about fast food Johnny Rock for ten last night to get the maniac on fun my comic
Guys go to fun my comic get the maniac
just eye bone for five it's got to be all or nothing if you don't immediately find a large
following from a single video maniacally switch to something else so what i'm hearing is more sonic
bonus episodes very good stay the course i'll go live it's for two in my area we have a place
called duncan d's i'm waiting on that one to be delivered on crumples for 50 Canadian Vito reminds everyone of the friend who foo barred
TBF for two. Thank you for the 50 Canadian
Fucked up beyond all recognition. I don't think that works. I didn't know that was a verb but okay I could see it
Yeah, TBF for two Rick demands a remote show to avoid veto stench. I'm not gonna lie
I'm probably pretty stinky today because it is hotter than a motherfucker and I am sweating like crazy
Oglovich for two. Duncan D's nut butter fluff or nutter is killer
Fad for 40 thubs bonus episode of of the Biggest Problem in Drugs.
Nah, we already did weed.
Maybe.
We did already do weed, that's true.
Tesso for five.
Are dog strollers a California exclusive societal disease?
How do we remove this tumor?
I don't go outside, so I haven't seen dog strollers.
I'm a catman.
Hot Fire Dingledore for five.
Biggest problem in the universe was the Sonic episode. Second biggest problem is Vito's post on the subreddit. Everyone
loves that. Everyone on Reddit loves that post because they get to tell me what to
do which is everyone's favorite thing in the world.
Ulimpovi. Yeah and they love, I give them what they want. Everybody all day gets to
tell me what to do. Now I've given you a forum for it.
Ulam for ten. Vito the Cambodian donut shop in Los Angeles is the perfect example of the
videos you should make.
Utilize your love of food to tell compelling stories that interest the modern obese audience.
There you go.
Forget this Marvel shit.
I agree.
Movie shit.
So what I'm hearing is I should do a deep dive retrospective on the how to train your dragon fiery whopper now available at Burger King
LJClobberina for two says Vito how much for us to show you your crib? No
Kelmaz for five. I know the parts of your houses where the shadows of the darkest. Happy Friday daddies
Happy Friday purple possum for ten. This is going great boys lol
So surgery for five imagine watching a dual dual stream but right when one of the performers
makes a gesture with its face, it chhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh free money because I hate this show so much. Thank you.
Statergery comes back from his disconnect and says, wants that Dixon Veeds? Nobody
wants that.
Okay.
I like that.
Money.
Two parter. Just Eyebond for five. This kink shaming bit would have been great for hackamania.
What it? I don't know. Where am I? A for two. stop supporting Israel and we'll trade you D ports.
Mike Hunt for five, great men to name your baby after. Don Juan, Don Julio, Don Cheadle, Donald Duck, Don Knotts,
Donald Rumfeld, Donald Sutherland.
Those are good Don names.
I think I...
Yeah, Donald Rumfeld I didn't have. I haven't thrown that one out, but that's a good one.
I'll try.
Why, are you looking for a middle name?
Uh, no, I'm trying to think of good dons.
Or are you just trying to justify Donald?
Yeah.
Donald Duck!
Well, obviously, yeah. That's the best one.
Hey, name your kid Dewey. That's fun.
Sure. Dewey.
Because then it's like Donald, but it's one of the nephews.
Yeah.
The triplets. with the matching names.
Just grab one of them.
Yeah, that's cool.
Well, I mean, there's other famous Deweys,
and then you still have the Donald connection.
What's your name?
Huey, like Huey, Dewey, and Louie, you know?
Oh, do you have brothers?
No?
Oh, huh. Okay.
I'm trying to think what the best... Well, just don't give them like a, you know, remember whenever we named their kid Khaleesi?
Just don't do that.
Just I've been for 10. Civilian firemen also use that foam.
They're encouraged to donate blood plasma regularly to diminish the PFAS buildup in their blood.
Oh, wow.
Think about that when you need a blood transfusion.
So the firefighters are donating plastic blood. Jesus Christ
Did you want to have this super chat on the screen dick? Yeah from righty-tighty. Yeah, it's a member thing. Oh
It's a member's thing. I'll read that righty-tighty member 13 months. I put it up so you wouldn't read it, but yeah damn
Oh waity a baker's dozen months type shit
Congratulations to our members.
Guys, if you have any suggestions for new emojis
that are missing from the show, let me know.
My country too. My country.
Donald is a Gaelic word meaning world ruler.
I did know that too.
I've done my research.
Maxwell21, Vito, it's your boy Prime.
Come to Vegas for Evo in August.
Dick will be dealing with a kid,
so it'll be a great time for a reset.
I've got a room with a space for an air mattress. So that's too good.
I thought about going to Magic Con in Vegas, but I don't want to spend the money.
RT for five. I would pay top dollar to Super Chat Vito while he is in the act of sex.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Strategy for five, that girl propositioned Vito only because she found out he could stream
at 720p. Yeah.
Oklovic for two, Vito only fan account wins, Salad Spinner is a good name. LJ Clabarino
for two, we're getting a Vito sex tape before Superkiller. Micun for two, Roj is not hotter
than no pants Sally Acorn.
If you say so.
It's a tough race, but Roach has the bigger boobs,
so she wins.
Oklavich for two, Richard Ranch is the ultimate
honky condiment.
I agree.
No other country eats ranch, I don't think.
Kuf for two, Vito hates mayo from egg,
but not mayo from balls.
And then,
I hate both.
Eggplant.
Kagon Postal for two.
Ranch is wonderful, how dare you?
Vito, coach cake for five.
Shallots go crazy.
It tastes like onions,
but with the flavor intensity of garlic.
Oh wow.
Dick, replace all the onions in your recipes with shallots
and your life will be better.
Ditch melon aficionado,
Petri, Petrione, Dacom, Patreon.com slash esterios. Oh yeah, check that.
Deggington Post for two. I only get unsolicited advice. There you go, check that out.
Clap Chap the Destroyer for five. Vito, you're a funny guy. Just be funny and not a wiener.
Andrew Johnson for 10.
When you talked about food on this show,
what made it interesting was you shedding new light
on things people thought they already knew.
Lean into that.
Much better than chasing new shit.
Thank you.
SchizoshaunTV, Vito, you don't have anger issues.
You're Italian.
There's no difference.
Ocklewitcher2, Vito, I still love you.
You sauce-blooded bastardo.
Coachcake for five, Vito, this honestly
is exactly what we wanted to hear.
I don't know who he's we's talking about,
but that's what they wanted to hear.
Don't use we.
Yeah.
Justin Brodick for two, you sounded better
before second guessing it, Vito.
Ditchmellen aficionado for two.
Shut up, I second guessed everything in my life.
That's why the colors are not coming together.
Because I'm a nightmare.
The colors look really good!
This was nuts. Let me try to find...
How do I get this off?
Which one?
This fucking thing that you posted. Read them, I'm going to find it.
Alright, alright.
Let's see. Ditchmellon aficionado for two
says another win for the toe.
Laurence Devaney for five, this is good Veto,
less fighting with the audience,
more fighting with Twitter people.
Well, the Twitter people are the audience,
so I can't do that either.
By the way guys, did we get Veto two to 18,
whatever, five subscribers?
I don't know if we did.
I'll have to check it later.
Let's see here, I don't think we did.
Let's see, DrunkenAtheistudio for for two says I picked up a dragon burger and no toppings fuck my life
They didn't give you toppings on your dragon burger
Dragon D's most of your mouth. I think it's got like fried onions on top or something. It looks good. I like a burger
I don't know Burger King's hair mess some Burger King stuff is good
Let's see. I've wanted jerk me off for 15
Australian or AUD. Fatboy get on the wagon, embrace your natural state. I'll try. Point
for 2 euros. Did the ringing intensity change before slash after number 2?
After taking a shit? Yeah, I guess so.
It's the same. I don't know. You gotta find the eye doctor for hearing.
The one who loves giving the test.
What sounds better? Number one or number two?
Yeah, they really don't. What I found is that ENTs do not like doing any kind of doctoring at all.
They don't like giving the test? They just want you out of there?
Yeah.
Here it is. I like giving the test.
Uh...
Wait a minute.
You gotta go to Twitter.
Okay, there, there, there, there. Keep going, I'll find it.
Let's see here. Blunder of you for 10. If you want to heal your chronic illness, look up Darko Velik's self-healer protocol.
He gives good advice and explains how badly doctors are doing their job. He can help your friends wait too.
Well, there you go, Dick. Everybody's a hearing expert as well.
Okay, this.
Oh, this is great.
You see what's happening here?
This is Vito asking Discord which of these six choices
of Superkiller looking at a screen is the one to go with.
Right.
And you think it's the light blue,
but you want other input. Well, the light blue is the one to go with right and you think it's the light blue, but you want other input
Well the light blue is the one I arrived at after trying all the other ones
Those were my previous attempts and then I did the light blue and I said, that's probably the right way
It's like the amount of extra steps that went into yeah, it's obviously light blue like computer screen to hmm
I'm gonna make this in six colors and bounce them out and then put them in discord
Well, cuz I think it's hard to get the colors to those those colors
You gotta mess around to get it get it looking right. There's multiple layers
It's like I can't even imagine putting this much work into a choice that you've already basically made
Well, and because hold on because it could be like a blue hologram, but then it could also be
like a throwback, like Gameboy style display with the kind of greenish screen, you know?
And that would also...
Who gives a shit?
It's... this is all unnecessary.
Well, it just depends on which one looks right for the fucking scenario.
And yeah, the blue one looks best.
Great.
Yeah, fine.
Yeah. But I still gotta tweak that one looks best. Great. Yeah, fine.
Yeah, but I still gotta tweak that a little bit.
That one's not as good.
Cause that one's, I don't think the black works.
I had the, that's the inverted version.
Yeah, there you go. Fine.
Yeah, yeah, the inverted one's not good.
Fine, use that.
But everybody said they liked the blue one.
So I had to test a couple and then I said,
yeah, the blue one's probably the way to go.
If anybody wants to know why their comic is late there you go
Because you're getting top-notch graphic design from one of America's best new comics colorists. Yeah, yeah discord
Dad maybe all the comics books are maybe in discord. Dadkid715
For five dollars says RIP dick dick we're praying for you thanks
Dickinson post for fives wants you to play the skit so Sean pull up video
well he's a little late to that on the John for fives says I'm gonna steal the
trademark Rex Saxon for two says the talent there's no talent here Mike
Litteris for two Eric July owner of the bitch averse
Bama Gumper for two says Eric July fans have. I did say, I did want to comment on the
sweatiness. There was a lot of that. Mycon4Two says, all Eric had to do was
nothing. Veto! Oh, okay. All right. Yeah. I hear you.
JJ45, Eric July just announced Nerdradix's book,
From Prison to YouTube on X. I assume that's a joke, but the weird thing about
these people is I don't
actually know. Yeah. The worst part is I could actually see. Holy shit, is he actually doing
this? Oh, God. Crusaders out for two. Eric is an SJW. Hold on! This is real! Nerdrotic
is making a book called From Prison to YouTube. Talking about how he used to sell meth and now makes
horrible videos ruining entertainment for everyone. Can I show this very
quickly? Can I show you this promo? Yeah sure. Alright hold on one second. So we all get
to learn about how he went from being a bad person to even a worse person. So he's not even going to make it a self-insert. It's just gonna be of him.
Yes. Yeah, cut out the middleman. Cut out the story. Here we go.
Waiting for Nerd-Rodic. What a title. Can you add this to the screen? Yeah.
I'm trying. Fantastic. Who has not been waiting for the nerd roddick
Memoirs this is fantastic. He's he's one of our greatest heroes
Why?
I'm gonna blow my brains out dude. I really live in the darkest time.
Look at that fucking cover.
It's a little boy him and he goes,
I never knew I was gonna deal meth.
No he's not. This is a joke.
HAHAHAHA
What the fuck?
Oh no. Why?
Why? Why?
That's a- it's gotta be a joke.
Guys, I'm gonna make my memoir called
From Fat Kid to Fat Loser, Podcaster Moron.
Won't that be exciting?
Does everyone wanna hear about that?
Well, if this is not a joke,
Eric has taken this to Vanity Press,
like all Vanity Press is a scam.
He had at least the veneer of an actual creative company
by making it like comics about stories,
but it was still a Vanity Press.
Now it's just YouTuber slop.
This is just Vanity Press.
It's literal YouTuber slop.
Like this is just, hey, you have some money
and people would love to read a book about,
it's just like flattery and then cashing a check
and making some dog shit
like book that somebody's parents would like get made of them.
If someone pitched you the title, you know, like if it's like from prison
to award winning director from prison to, you know,
guy who a Grammy award winning musician. Yeah.
From prison to YouTube is not an upgrade necessarily.
This is it's like from arson from arsonist to pedophile. Yeah, it's like those are both bad
things. YouTubers are bad people on the average. Well, I've learned a lot today, folks. God, what
dog shit. All right. Can you imagine buying that? I can't, the weird thing is he's a comic guy.
Why does he not just make a fucking comic?
He's gonna write the story of his stupid life?
We're getting an Eric July biography.
Oh my God.
Well it's also, your life isn't a story.
Like your life, even like the biopics,
even like the famous people, the music biopics,
they always have to- They always have to make shit up.
They always have to make shit up
or twist it to make it a story.
They always have to make shit up. They always have to make shit up or twist it to make it a story
um
I would bet money that Eric July has a ghostwriter working on his biography right now
Nobody who's married to that has a story
And then I met miss piggy. Yeah, she was a big old fat lady. I was running my... And I was... Where's my Kermit?
I was running my theater for all my method first.
Oh, I have a veto puppet now.
The veto puppet needs to make an appearance at some point.
I forgot about that.
When I met my wife, Miss Piggy, I thought that I should just shit on everything forever.
And I can help all these untalented retards and pedophiles complain about media as well.
Including my good friend Yellow Flash, who loves Lollicon.
In fact, he's helping promote Lollicon comics on his channel.
That's what he likes.
We're in a strange place, folks.
We're in a strange, strange folks. We're in a strange, strange place.
Is Kermit dead?
I think Kermit might be dead.
Well, we'll find it one of these days.
Crusader Joe for two, says Ericsson SJW,
literally kicking people out of cons.
I can't wait to read that book.
Kagon Poser for two, says are all libertarians this week?
Yes.
Well, what can you do?
DatKid with a TBF fails. Just Eyebond for five. Good show boys.
Micon for two. Don King. Donnie Yen. I don't think you want to name your kid after Don King.
That doesn't seem like a good idea. Oh yeah, that's a good Donald. That's a good one.
Let me write that down. No, no it's not.
Catherine Jett for two says- Yeah, he ripped those chicks, didn't he?
He did a lot of bad things a lot of bad things. Oh, yeah
Ripped off a lot of people Maddox and hysteria said a baby and named it veto and that's a beautiful baby
Mike hunt for five
Says me abuela says it's Mexican tradition that boys are named by the father and girls by the mother if not respected
The child will be cursed. I know tried talking about Mexican curses
With a 80s girl. Have you brought that up at all? I haven't brought that shit up yet. I'll try
Get a chance to 80s wife. It's not 80s girl anymore. It's a little bit cute for my taste. Oh
I'm sorry. You don't want to be cute. Alright, is that it?
That would be the worst. That's it.
Guys, vote on all the problems, the biggest problems of the show.
Don't forget to watch everybody's favorite bonus episode
The Biggest Problem in Sonic!
Now available on the YouTube channel.
Subscribe for fun here
on youtube.com slash veto2.
Check out The Dick Show at thedickshow.com
and I love you.
Alright, goodbye. And I am sweaty. Goodbye. Hope the audio was better.com and I love you. All right. Goodbye.
I am sweaty.
Goodbye.
Hope the audio was better.
I think it was.
Yeah, it was.
Oh, all right.