The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 197

Episode Date: August 2, 2025

Did you ever own a Kindle? I never had a Kindle. Yeah, I bought one pretending I would read or thinking I was a reader, but I probably read one book on it. When's the last time you read a book? Uh, oh, I don't know. Maybe never. I'm not judging because I would say also never. Maybe about never that I last read a book. I don't even remember it. What was the last book you read? Maybe about never that I last read a book. I don't even remember it. What was the last book you read?

That's a great question. I think I picked up Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. Like the novelization of the movie? Well, I have an old paperback of it. It doesn't have, it doesn't say from the hit movie or whatever. I read a Mortal Kombat That's a good problem. That's a good problem

By the way when you when you get the version of the book that's got all the movie shit on it And you're like, oh, it's kind of just kind of cheapens it. Yeah. Oh, yeah, like Harry Potter Yeah, now it's motion picture from Warner Brothers. I hate when they do that shit. I don't even read that I was always bothered that uh The first Harry Potter the Philosopher's Stone is like a real thing And then they brought it to America and they're like American kids are retarded call it the Sorcerer's Stone. Oh You know they change the fact you mean well, it's like it's like a Historical thing that like alchemists search for was the idea of the philosopher's stone or whatever yeah, okay?

And then they brought it to America like call it wizard adventure With a magic that's better the sorcerer stone is better Why would anyone want to see a philosopher's stone no one gives a fuck about? I kind of have you know what from marketing perspective you tell a kid it's about a philosopher stone the kid goes loops I don't know. I didn't just call it the wizard stone though. That sounds the wizards rock They should have called it the wizards rock wizard and wizard rock that would have been way better Way better book series it is just it is funny that you know

They tried to be a little bit sophisticated and give the kids a little some like historical thing and it's like nah fuck it. It's wizards who gives a shit. I didn't know it was called the wizard stone here. Yeah the sorcerer's stone. I think that's what the movie is called too. Oh the sorcerer's stone? Yeah. I don't think I watched those movies man. You didn't watch any of the Harry Potter movies? No, I hate Harry Potter. I finally tried to force myself to watch them and And they're a real mixed bag. I don't know. It's a global phenomenon that you know has inspired you know generations of cat women to buy fanciful scarves and you know generations of cat women to buy fanciful scarves and

Fake wands and then throw them all out because you know solidarity for trans people Yeah, and then pull it all back. You know what I got you know never mind. I'm taking it back trans people anyway There's still Harry Potter boycotts going on I found out there's a new Harry Potter board game And if you go to the board game forums, they're all review bombing it Saying well, this just gives money to a transphobe and you're like, yeah, I don't know man. I think she's fine I think she's she doesn't care. She's made it very clear. She's like guys. I have more money than God at this point I have a whole fucking theme park. Yeah, okay. You think I'm worried about you guys buying a fucking board game adaptation I don't care. What do I get from that? Which one of the child wizards did you think I'm worried about you guys buying a fucking board game adaptation. I don't care What do I get one of the child wizards? Did you think was the most attractive? In the in the whole series. Yeah in the book versus the movie which ones?

Ching-chang his Asian girlfriend. I knew you were gonna say ching-chang You gotta love that Jk Rowling goes ah let's put an Asian girl in there now. Just call her fucking ching-chang Yeah, he's gonna give a shit about that And it was weird when Harry learned that spell in the fifth book Street shitter and he would cast it at the Muslim wizards and they would shit all over themselves in the street or the Indian wizards you remember that? The patello's.

The prefect patello. He didn't make it to the tri-wizard tournament. Oh no. Harry Potter does suck on a number of levels. Like, it's really curious to me why it connected with a certain generation. Have I told you my Harry Potter theory

of why it connected with that generation? What? What generation? You're talking about children? Or women? Yeah, like children of the, children of like the late 90s, early 2000s. Okay, why? Because, uh, unlike, you know, other narratives. Yeah. Like, uh, you watch Star Wars.

Like the Holocaust? What do you mean? Yeah, classic... no, narratives. Hahaha. Classic like Heroes Journey. What are you saying? I'm talking about like the Heroes Journey stuff, okay? The hero, you know, even if it's a fanciful, far-off land or whatever, Luke Skywalker is essentially human. Even though he has friends who are aliens or whatever, at the end of the day,

he's working to... and he finds out he's a Jedi, he's still helping his human friends who are not Jedi, right? He still cares about Han Solo and Lando Calrissian, okay? What about dances with wolves? Kevin Costner is helping Indians. But Indians are human beings as well. Okay. Harry Potter is about finding out-

What about Shingar's List, Vito? Stop bringing up the Holocaust. Silly so much. Look, uh, Harry Potter is about a kid who finds out that he's basically not human. He's a different race entirely. Like, wizards are not human beings. They're considered a different race.

Pretty sure they're human beings, dude. You mean they're not human beings? No, no, no. They're like, the way they talk about like the human world is as if they are not human. But they're talking about retarded people. Muggles, right. They're not talking about fun guys. They're talking about fucking fat people. They're not talking about fun guys. They're talking about fucking fat retards, like his parents.

But the point is in any other, this is a narrative about a child who goes, who gets a letter that says, you know all these idiots, stupid humans that you're surrounded by? Not only are you better than them, you're so much better than them that they're not even of your race.

You are of a different master race that has mastery of elements beyond their comprehension. You're a Hitler Harry. You bet. Yeah, he's the master race. That's what Harry Potter is. Because in a traditional narrative, you would go to the fanciful world.

You would obtain all this knowledge and information and powers. And you would take that back to your human world to make the human world a better place to save humanity to elevate humanity This is instead finding out you're a member of a higher caste Completely cutting you yourself off from your separate life Like and then just going yeah, we're wizards We only care about wizard stuff anything that's going on with humanity doesn't matter Because we are a different higher caste than them.

I mean, I don't know. Is that really- And I think that's- I think it poisoned a generation because that's a generation that never learned like, hey, you're supposed to make the world around you better It's- no, you are a- Not this shit again! Beautiful- You're still on the save the world shit? Shut the fuck up.

You are a beautiful- You're still on the save the world shit? Well, you gotta get kids to at least think that, you know, we're all part of a human community. We're all working for something. No, you gotta teach kids to cut the weak members of the tribe. Kill them. Cut them off. Put them down. Well, if you want your kid to be a genocidal fucking Nazi, then Harry Potter's- Not genocide, they're not people. They're weak. Well, that's what Harry Potter would tell you.

He'd say, well, they're just fucking muggles. Burn them alive. No, they don't do that, though. Don't they save the elves and stuff? What elves? I don't know. There's an elf and a sock. I know they're always trying to get an AI of the elf to do weird to they're always trying to rape The an AI of the elf in my discord so I know that there is one World War two happened in the Harry Potter universe, and they didn't do shit. Oh, I they were busy having I can't do this type of

World War two shit Harry Potter's about abandoning humanity. That's the bottom line biggest problem in the universe Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe the only show that ranks every problem in the universe from show that ranks every problem in the universe from 80s 80 dollar slop to vetoes gay thoughts I'm Captain Cheese I'm your hostick majesty and our thoughts are actions Ghislaine Maxwell's pardon to Sidney Sweeney's giving me a hard-on hey the strategist hey a shithead that's not how the rhyme works

that's not how the bit works you're supposed to rhyme last week's problems They're never gonna do they'll never figure it out from denying a gay guy your attention to refunds too pricey to mention I don't know what that's I don't know what problems that was um Antois. Definitely none from last episode. Thomas Cassidy from experiences that are gay To refunds that don't pay there must have been a refund problem from last week. Thomas Cassidy from experiences that are gay to refunds that don't pay. There must have been a refund problem from last week. Sure. I don't know. Okay. I'm your host, Nick Madison. Joining me is always his veto, JustWaldy. How you doing? Hello. You want to do the problems from last week? It's vibe coding. Bading. Vibe coding. Number one, wagons that whack your shins. What was vibe coding?

Oh, the fucking, that was the AI coding shit. Mm-hmm wagons that whack your shins and heels. Ooh That was a rough one Video games that failed what I failed I came in last Yeah, you got two stinkers video games are too expensive. That was retarded gay denial Video games are too expensive that was retarded gay denial Well, we were talking about that one all week I was hoping that you would fight better I had an idea in my head Sometimes sometimes

Yeah, I always go like yeah, this will be funny, you know, we'll have like a fight about it. It was funny. It was funny. Uh What was I thinking? I don't know Vibe code. Oh video games being too expensive. Somebody brought up, you know, they still have that game fly thing You know, you rent games. They send them to your house. They send you a physical game Yeah, yeah, like, you know, like how Netflix used to be when they used to send you discs in the mail. No. And you just print the game. So I went, oh, that's smart. That might be, we might, the way games are going up,

now you can just rent them like it used to be. Remember renting video games? Yeah, it sucked. I don't know why it sucked, but it did suck. I don't know if it sucked. It sucked when you had, you couldn't finish the game, you had to bring it back like midway through. Yeah. And then you would beat it. I

Don't know. There's something it's there was something about feeling like Trapped having to rent renting the game instead of buying it somehow made the game feel less I don't know how to put it I don't know how to describe it, but being able to rent the game feel less. Yeah, it felt like work I remember distinctly when I was a kid going to the warehouse. Well, because now there's like a time limit on it. You're like, oh, now I have to play it. It is a job.

Yeah, and I can't explore it. I can't like do, I don't know, I'm not in the car reading the manual on the way home. I'm just looking at like a plastic box. It felt like a prostitute. But that was later. I would later find, I would later also relate it to the feeling of a prostitute. Renting the game. So the first time you went to a prostitute, you said... Every time.

And this is just, this is like renting a Jetsons on NES. This is like renting the fucking Primal Rage Super Nes game. And I'm just stuck with Primal Rage. That's what I told the bitch. You went, listen, I've had some rental prostitutes before, I've had some Chrono triggers, I've had some Donkey Kong countries. No, I didn't rent. You're a Primal Rage kind of lady.

I wouldn't rent an RPG, that's stupid. I did rent the RPG. I told her this is like when I rented the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fighting game and I just felt nothing. Like I didn't even care to beat it or get good at the moves because I know that it's gone in like a week. What do I care about this game? It doesn't even feel like a game anymore.

You know? I'm trying to remember like, man I wish I could remember all the games. There's not even a manual. Because it was, yeah. Well, I was going to say, it was always nice when you went to the rental places that had like photocopied manuals. That was the good time. I did like Rentsch.

Did you ever have a rental game with a QR code on it? No. How? What do you mean a QR code? That was a trick question. That was a trick question. They didn't have this. To test you.

That was a trick question. You was a trick question. They didn't have this. To test you. That was a trick question you passed. Thank you. Okay. I'm gonna read some of these comments. Out for Smoke says, nothing is made for people over 5'10". In the rare occasion that it is, they assume you're wrong version of you're as fat as Vito.

Vito Frustration, hey Dick Blue here. First of all, the biggest problem in dads had me rolling, but also reminded me of how great stories Vito Frustration, hey Dick Blue here. First of all, the biggest problem in dads had me rolling, but also reminded me of how great stories Vito has and how good of a storyteller he is. He can definitely write a great show or at least make some great content for YouTube. So that's all compliments. Wow, oh shit.

If it wasn't for his retarded obsession with shallow pop culture shit, and it's frustrating to watch him spend at on stupid toys, 2000's comedy veto is better than pop culture comics veto. Thanks for reading Go Fuck Yourself. Very complimentary email for you. Well, I actually, uh, you ever see that lady on YouTube? She's not the only one who does it, but, uh, Jaden Animations?

No. Where, I think now it's all what's going on. She's of age now. Obviously of age. I don't know when she started doing... Yeah, yeah. Like it's a woman? It's a full grown woman?

This is a grown woman. Well, she would make cartoons and a lot of them were like just stupid stories from childhood, but animated in like a simplistic style. A woman? Yes, a female. Yes, a lady And I said I said, you know, it would be good is I do have some of these funny childhood stories and anecdotes and whatever else. You gonna animate them? If I could find yeah if I could find like somebody who could do like simplistic like animatics, you know nothing like actually animated but like little two-frame

things because I would just have to write a story record it and provide some guidance I guess. Why don't you use your precious AI to do it? I have thought about it. It could definitely be done Okay, I would feel a little I would feel a little dirty using AI. Oh why? It could definitely be done. Ummm... Okay. I would feel a little dirty using AI. Oh, why? It's just something, it's something like weirdly uncanny about it. What do you mean? What's uncanny about a digital process to create art?

The facsimile of art. What's uncanny about that? Yeah, it has like this weird, it has this feeling of like I didn't really make it, you know, mm-hmm It's got this feeling of like I had the computer. It's it's like man I don't know if I'm gonna be able to get over that That feeling you know what I wish we could do. I wish you know that you're talking about like the uncanny valley Yeah, I wish we could find I wish there was a list like the sex offender list where we could list everybody who said You know we evolved to have an uncanny valley response because it means there's something out there that I hate that Everyone I wish we could kill everyone and erase their whole like

Generational timeline I mean, but we already have that you don't see a Down syndrome kid and want to kill him You know like we already have the uncanny valley in real life. I do if he's like I do if he's running a register If he's just sitting around and like that's fine, but if you say there's uncanny valley people already You go out on the street. They're And I don't go oh my god the uncanny valley just go out look at street, and they're like, daaaah, and I don't go, oh my god the uncanny valley! And you're just going, ah look at that, you know, fucking guy. I'm gonna start, I'm gonna pretend like Tourette's that I have a phobia of retarded people. And I'm gonna flip my shit and freak out every time I see one and say like it's a condition.

It's not real, it's not real! Sorry, when I see down-shrouded people I think they're not real. It's an unc! It's not real! Sorry, when I see down syndrome people I think they're not real. Freak out. It's an uncanny valley problem. I'm gonna go to India and pay a bunch of fake doctors over there to do a fake study and publish it. The man who is scared of retards. It's just I see them and I don't think they're really human.

Yeah, that's a problem man. What the fuck is wrong with you? I'll give a TED Talk and I'll go click, see, totally fine, click and then retarded person will go AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH they found the uhhhh they found the what do you call it the down syndrome gene they're saying they can just edit it out now. It's over. Really? Yeah, yeah, they're having like last week Happen last week you got it you got it like a little too. Yeah, I know I was gonna say you should've waited Fucking back in I got I saw you'll be fine. They were doing those like they're doing all these like IQ tests for babies and it's like you can pick the embryo that has the highest IQ It's like you can pick the embryo that has the highest IQ. Yeah, how the fuck does that work?

It doesn't. Let me... What do you mean they picked the smartest? Let me cut forward... Yeah, wait. Let me cut forward 30 years for everybody. That shit doesn't work. I guarantee you that they're lying. There's no fucking way... Do they have a bunch of like Superman 64 rings,

which other sperm flies through the most of them? They go, well, that's the smartest one. Yeah, they do. Made it through the fucking obstacle course there's just no fucking it's so dumb people are in there oh well I got a pick this one's like five IQ points higher okay I don't want to do that problem I'm gonna save that I'm gonna write that down eugenics the problem else should I save it it's up to you I'll save it for the problem part problem a drink of I'll s- should I save it? It's up to you. I'll save it for the problem card.

It's your problem. Um, drink a beer and play a game. I've never understood why Mario Kart is good. Explains so much about Vito. Uh, Juana Slavamini says, Vito lecturing people on being measured and not falling into gluttony is the finest irony. Uh, Wiggly McWiggly. Being measured and not falling into gluttony.

Is that the- for the video game thing? I don't know. I don't remember you doing that. Okay. Wiggly McWiggly, every week when a new episode comes out, I'm reminded of Vito's existence. And I rejoice in the fact that I never backed Superkiller. Okay. Congratulations. Dakota is great.

Superkiller is so late that even the bit about it's late and how Vito will never release it has lost steam Why are you putting time and work into a new movie? YouTube review channel thing when you haven't released your comic he says well you got to do more than one thing Yeah, clearly I didn't put clearly I didn't put much time or effort into the movie review thing You think it looks like going We're deciding with the next I Have to figure that out this week. I guess we were figuring out what the next thing to review There's no movies coming out though, so we might have to do a retrospect fantastic for was just out Yeah, I mean we could do it, but it's a little like you know it came out late ago or something yeah

Necro see says Hulk Hogan never got to read superkiller. I won't forgive you veto Kristen Doerfries said Vito if you're gonna try to groom us at least put on a bluey shirt. Yes. Dan B says actually if he did it it's cool I wish I could be like Epstein and then that's a quote from me. The gay team guy. Bubba is wondering, I bet all those USPS boxes behind Vito are full of super killer issues ready for release, or the postman. Rarity made my dress says Vito predicting his gayness on everyone is hilarious. I thought it was a good bit.

What was the bit? Uh, it is, the bit was obvious, look, obviously not everyone's gay. I know that. I just, you know, I wanted to fight about it. Those boxes are full of video game consoles. If anybody- I sold some video game consoles locally. Which is nice. Guy comes to your- Guy comes over. Some audio went out. Maybe it was yours. I don't know. Test one. Once you are a guy came over to Bob video games from you.

Yes. Video games in a full release. A dream cast in a full release. Is that what you're talking about? And a full release. I should offer a happy ending. All the way. More sales 32x all the way.

I'm trying to sell. I'm realizing that the prices on some of this stuff I'm like it's almost easier to throw it out yeah why don't you do that I'm gonna put it all in a big bin okay my I got a guy I got a guy with a game story says we'll buy a bunch of stuff for me in bulk and I'll take the hit. Whoa, wow. What hit are you taking?

You're making money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I mean, I'll do fine. It's just like piecing it out and pricing it and listing it and shipping it. It's a waste of time. Big problem. PsychoCrusher says,

"'The episode has changed the show "'into the gayest problem in the universe. Thanks for revealing too much Vito. Where'd he did that? That was a bonus episode. Oh, we did? You finally came out of the closet. We should do a bonus episode this week

about, I don't know what, Superman? Maybe Superman. Okay, let's do it on Monday. Martin says, Vito is a leftist heathen. A lot of comments about Vito this week. With a savior complex, he's the perfect product of small, and then he's got a smile this week with a savior complex. He's the perfect product of small

And then he's got a smiley face with a cowboy hat so small cowboys Save your productions brainwashing program. No offense Vito. I love your childlike spirit Hmm, that's nice. Say what is my savior complex? Oh you were saying last week that you wanted to save the world. I Guess still fucking saying that I then you said Harry Potter should be about Opposite no the Harry Potter should be about being a human being that's the point it is about be about being a fucking spooky alien Hey, did you know you're better than alien? He's just gifted He goes to a gifted school. Full of a bunch of gifted kids.

He's a member of a different race. No, it is never- That looks down on humanity and regards them as basically idiot children. He's the most quintessential human and child there could ever be. Contrast with the other various races that he is interacting with throughout the story. He's very human. He does only human things. The primary depiction of humanity in the series is his big fat fucking family that beats the

shit out of him and stuffs him under the... Yeah. Stares. Who do you think that's supposed to be? People's shitty families is what that's supposed to be. That's the Weimar Republic. You gotta bust out from under the, it's a very Nazi-colored fucking narrative.

No, it's not. The story is saying that Voldemort tried to deny his humanity and he's a fucking bad guy for doing it. That's the whole seven book, or eight book series is that. Why? Because he tried to make himself immortal? Because he tried to make himself a snake, yes, and immortal, yes. The war against the Muggles is the bad guys.

He's still not- He's still not human. He's a wizard. Uh, Schick says, Vito, please go on financial audit. And Captain Obstruity says, Vito, I don't want to watch the screen when I watch- blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhhhhhh uhhhhhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh This is fucking gay. Chuck Mangione. He is a- You had to pick the slow version of this fucking song? Of a show called Biggest Bum in the universe. And so his dick and they got a segment- This is great. That they call a segment That they call Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa Wow. Okay. Alright, I got it. It's not done.

Stop. This is terrible. Guess how long this is. Five minutes. Oh! You're right on the dot! Right on the dot. Okay.

Five minutes. I would have played it if you didn't guess it right on the dot. It's fine. Well guys, it's voted up. Here's the news. From episode 156, this was a problem you brought in, Dick, it's people who are eating the cats and the dogs oh yeah Haitians immigrants not immigrant well whatever you want to say it is but immigrants Chinese people not just Haitians though another place which is eating the cats and dogs, Dick. Give you a hint, we fought a war there.

Germany. Very close. It was Vietnam. Oh, yeah. I mean, obviously they're eating cats and dogs. An estimated 5 million dogs and 1 million cats. Why are they eating so many more dogs? I guess it's more meat on a dog.

Yeah. Are killed every year. Because they're guess it's more meat on a dog. Yeah are killed every year because they're sick for the meat Trade in Vietnam, but Los Angeles has a solution dick get rid of them loss Well rid of us They're not it's it's happening in Vietnam. It's not happening Whatever it's happening here get rid of them. Yeah, okay Well, Los Angeles is currently trying to form a sister city relationship with Hanoi, Vietnam, a relationship that would come along with a variety of benefits to the people of Hanoi.

Wait, wait, wait, LA is forming a relationship with Hanoi, Vietnam? Yes, but the condition is we will not be your sister city unless you stop eating the cats and the dogs. That's the deal. Is Karen Bass leading the charge there? I don't know. Let's see here. The proposal was introduced by Los Angeles council member Bob Bloomingfield and seconded by Mark Kesey Harris Dawson, I would think that's Los Angeles council members, I don't know what district necessarily Okay But again as a sister cities, there would be student exchanges shared

But again, as sister cities, there would be student exchanges, shared exhibitions, trade events. All sorts of wonderful things are available to the people of Vietnam. Problem is, they love eating the cats and the dogs. So does the benefits outweigh the taste of kitten delight? I don't know. What a great trade. So they send us a bunch of... We Delight. I don't know. What a great trade. So they send us a bunch of... We get nothing. Freeloaders and we can send our pedophiles over there

to go to underage prostitutes. Is that the deal? So they can send a bunch of cat eaters over here. It doesn't specifically mention underage prostitutes, but I'm gonna say youth leadership programming might be part of that. Okay. So that's the plan, guys.

We just need to make sister cities with all the countries of the world and then all the cats and the dogs will be safe. Voted up currently number 134. Can we do like, you know how, remember how like everyone would say like that Halloween candy had razor blades in it, like apples had razor blades.

Can we tell the Vietnam people that dogs have razor blades in them so they stop eating them like can we start that Psy-Op can the CIA do something good for once and spread that I think that would be good oh god I can't I this kidding no I'm kicking your shit out I can't see that fucking cat on the show get him him out. Get him out. Get him out. This is total, total shit. Total shit content. Complete shit. Total shit. And we are just sloppy trash absolute fucking trash

Everybody likes a little bit. What's your next one? Are we doing the problem? Hold on here. Let me bring up my notes Which are now behind the cat? Jack this is a Problem of mine from episode 14, this is an old one. Public urination laws. I of course made the argument that you should be able

to make pee pee wherever you want. I think you disagreed. Yeah, obviously. Obviously. Well, what if I told you that I might have a situation where you're going to back public urination? Okay. Here we go.

A Los Angeles school district is demanding an investigation of an incident last month in which immigration and customs enforcement ICE agents gathered at a local high school before a raid Dick the agents of ice were in the high school parking lot preparing to deport illegals right as After they were asked you have like a you have like a 2x plate on your on your camera after they were asked to leave... Do you have like a 2X on your camera? So you can speed up?

Like speed? Yeah, is it speed up? What happened to ICE? I'm trying to dramatically set the scene. Holy shit. Do you support ICE? Yeah, they're great. They're great.

Well, after they were asked to leave the high school campus, school district staffed told managers they saw the federal agents urinating in public view. A surveillance camera video posted on YouTube by the school district shows 10 federal agents urinating, I don't know why all 10 of them had to pee, near storage containers in the high school parking lot from 8.54am to 9.04am. That's 10 straight minutes of pissing from the Ice Boys.

That's good for them. On the school? And now the school has written- You can piss on a school, that's fine. No, they're saying there was kids in class, these ice agents, they want them locked up for possibly exposing themselves to children. The school has written to Christie Noem, the US Homeland Security Secretary, to request

an inquiry, but apparently it's not gotten one back. Apparently they're not taking this very seriously. So I mean, should ICE agents be allowed to pee? I mean, they're busy busting illegals, right? Yeah, they should piss right in the school administrators' eyes and in their mouth. Well, there you go. So maybe public urination. Look, we all got to do it.

Sometimes you got to do it at a school. If a kid sees. It's a school though. Who cares what happens at schools? Why is the kid watching? Yeah, exactly. I agree. Those kids don't give a shit.

That's currently number 94, guys. Vote it up. That's it? That's it. All right. Just vote it up. That's it? That's it. Alright. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjk He is a host of show

Called the biggest party in the world Alright, I got it. You can cut it at any point. Oh, is this slow? If it's five minutes long, why don't you cut to like halfway in? Maybe it gets a little more exciting. That they call it a loaded up How would it be exciting to listen to the run-up? You know Chuck Manciani died, right? Oh he did? Yeah. How come we didn't get a Hulk Hogan

cover as a tribute? For the show? Well yeah, if we're going with people who died. Hulk Hogan's got a lot of like badass songs. You want Hulk Hogan to sing over this? No, I want a Hulk Hogan tribute style song. Like I'm a real American. You're asking why didn't someone do I'm a real American? You said he's got a lot of songs. I think he only has one song. Ah, he's got that one where they're all faking like they're playing guitars and stuff.

That's a good one. I used to have the American gladiator soundtrack on CD and that was a slammin Soundtrack nitro's theme everyone saying Hulk Hogan HH in chat HH Hulk Hogan We get H H's in the chat for Hulk Hogan. All right Yeah We get H H's in the chat for Hulk Hogan all right Yeah It's exciting cuz something fucking happened in real time not skipping around I

Learned a lot And it's exactly five minutes this tribute Wow We're definitely gonna copyright god damn it bro we told you fucking guys you can't just put instrumentals you have to sing over every part of it like it was so fucking hard to just say something over or gay. God damn it! It's just an uninterrupted Total incompetence! 20 seconds of music. Total incompetence! Every time Every time they go

Let me include Like a 30 second breakdown I'm the special one. I'm gonna get it I need it to be just intermental instrumental This is gonna kill We can't fucking play it at least at least they didn't do it for the intro this time usually it's like 20 minutes of

uninterrupted intro and that's the worst just say words it's not funny if you're not saying words fantastic stuff is this long enough to get copyrighted? No! Unbelievable! You were this close! You were this close and you fucked it up! You waited too long and you fucked it up! It's still just the song!

God damn it! You can't just go baaah and then let it play for like 10 seconds. It doesn't help you fucking retard who sent this to me Let me find it. I'm gonna look them up Who sent it oh Unbelievable, so it's the same. It's the same It's the same thing every week. It's not a wrecking somebody saying no. It's the same, it's the same, uh... It's the same thing every week. It's not Reckon. Somebody's saying Reckon. No, it's not. That's not Reckon. That's not Reckon.

Um... Voted up... Who sent this? It's not- It's Kyle- Kyle Baxter! Kyle Baxter, you fucking dick! The instructions are very clear! Stop playing it! Vito is back! Alright, they're not at least a-singin' that.

He's fuckin' gay. Vocals are too low! Yet again! Yet again the vocals are too fucking low! The vocals are too fucking low! Now we have to talk over it. Because it just is the fucking trumpet line. I fucking swear to God. You gotta stop the song or this whole episode's gonna get taken down.

Taken down? For what? We've had episodes taken down because of the music before. No, we have? Yeah, it depends on the song. Oh, surely Chuck Mangion's dead. We can do whatever we want. Okay, we'll see. Here it comes. This episode's not here tomorrow, it's Kyle's fault. Here it comes.

Here it comes. Here it comes. Alright, I think I understand now. We're doing five minutes of this now. What? You said the episode's gonna be done already, so who cares? Just save it for the end of the fucking show. You got three seconds. One. One outro. Two. Three. Now it's just the trumpet line. God fucking damn it. God fucking damn it, Kyle. God fucking damn it, Kyle. God fucking damn it, Kyle.

Good old Kyle. Getting the whole stream taken down. Okay, my problem is babies, babies in movies and TV shows. You ever ever, you ever have a great movie and TV show and then they stick a baby in there and you're like, fuck this. Fuck this shit. Yeah. Well, you know, Fuck this shit. Yeah, well you know it's in her. Yeah, go ahead. I want to what's interesting Well, it's interesting is whenever I'm watching like a TV show, and there's a crying baby Mm-hmm You start like ads get really concerned and start running around trying to find the baby It's really fucking weird And I have to be like guys a baby didn't just suddenly appear in the apartment. Don't worry

I don't I don't know why they instinctively go searching for a baby. There's only one their cats. They shouldn't care about a human There's only two good baby movies. That's babies day out, which is maybe the best movie ever made and Adams Adams family values. That's it. Those are the only two and look Look Who's Talking. Is that the third Adam's Family? No, it's the first one with Baby the Puberty at the end. And... Oh. And Look Who's Talking. Wait, Adam's Family Values is the first Adam's Family? That's not true.

Maybe not. Maybe it's the second one. I don't remember. Clearly the first Adam's Family movie is called The Adam's Family. Baby's Day Out is the best movie ever made. Okay, so Squid Game's three, right? My favorite, yeah, short. Squid Game's 3. I finally got sucked into Squid Games. I watched the whole season 2. And I was- I didn't- I watched the whole season 2. I didn't want to watch it because everyone likes it.

So I said, this must be shit, right? I don't want to watch this. It must be shit. I watched season 2 in the original fucking Japanese with subtitles. Isn't it Korean? Are they, Vito, Japanese people are not Korean. They're different races. Is that show Japan, Japanese? That show is clearly Korean.

I don't know, I don't know. But they're talking, ding dong, ding dong, ding dong. And I'm reading this up, I'm reading a show, right? And I'm hooked on season two. And then season two ends in a cliffhanger. And I say, holy fuck, I'm in, I'm ready for season three. Season three comes out and guess how it ends. There's a baby and the main guy sacrifices himself

to save the baby. And it totally fucking ruins the show. The main guy from the whole show? From the whole show, the guy who's like this. The guy who's looking like a horse in every... Is it his baby? No, it's some stupid crack whore who joins the Squid Games,

has a baby in the middle of the show, and as soon as she has the baby, the show's ruined. Because anytime, anytime, and this happened again, 28 years later, right? I'm seeing the advertising coming in, I'm like, ooh, yeah. 28 years later, yeah, good, a goods, they did it. I remember seeing, I remember when 28 seconds later came out and I was like, man, wouldn't it be amazing if I'm alive

to see 28 years later when that comes out? And here I am, 28 years later, perhaps I can take a break from this baby that I have to raise and watch this amazing horror movie the third Installment clearly not baby centric at all Shit it's about zombies and zombies right what happens in this movie Guess right what happens in this movie guess well zombies a baby a baby happens in the movie a baby happens in the movie happens as soon as and as soon as the baby hey guess what happens and I go oh a baby fucking save the line all right a baby. You'd have been so horrible at improv. A baby drops out of a zombie woman's pussy in the movie and then they spend the rest

of the- here's the problem with the baby in anything. It's now a baby movie or a baby show. Now it's not a zombie movie, it's a baby movie. Well cause they can't kill the baby right because they can't kill the baby right you can't you can't kill the baby and it's like it takes multiple people to keep a fucking baby alive and it's fucking annoying and it does shit first of all I'm watching the squid games going when is this baby gonna shit out like when is the baby gonna shit out six ounces of black tar? When is that happening in the Squid Games movie?

Like, when the... What the... What's... This is totally unbelievable, the way this baby is acting in this movie. Or TV show. It's totally unbelievable. I don't buy it. I will say that...

Suspension of disbelief ruined. Destroyed. Movie over. Movie's over. Did you see the Vavitch? What's that? The witch the horror movie about the oh two V's are connected as a yeah. I didn't know oh You should see it, and I'm gonna spoil it is it a baby

They kill a fucking baby, and that's why it was great is you're like alright. Well this guy will kill a baby We you need if you're not gonna kill a baby, why are we even here? Yeah, that's the that's the worst part about squid games It's not like you got you don't gotta watch him kill the baby But it's like kind of like they're killing a baby. So squid games. He's got to like keep the baby alive But I'm thinking man. Fuck that baby. It's not even your baby. Like who cares now I know I'm the bad guy like I don't watch I don't want to watch this movie to be the bad guy it's not my baby fuck this like

fucking throw this fucking thing overboard you know well it is it is uh it's a common theme I mean birth and whatever you remember children of men is all about there's that that brown lady who made a baby because nobody else yes but that was. Yes, but that was a baby movie. It's about a baby in zombies. It's not a zombie movie. When the baby appears, it's a fucking baby movie. That's why it sucks. Squid games is about a bunch of deadbeats

trying to kill each other for money, right? Yeah, I mean, I didn't watch very much of it, but sure. I mean, what do you, what do you know at all? I Remember them trying to eat cookies. They're trying to get the cookie out. They're trying to cut the cookie out Why don't you watch how have you not watched squid games? I don't know that I just was like because I thought when they were like, ah squid games I'm like, oh, it's gonna be like crazy like really inventive challenges and it's like cut out a cookie, and I'm like well That's I wanted like saw fucking traps and shit. You know like there's a transsexual in it

Does that make you want to watch it more? How well maybe I'll take a look there's a transsexual Yeah, but I'm not like is it a good-looking one is it a good-looking one. What kind of question is that? Yeah, but it's not like a- is it a good looking one? Is it a good looking one? What kind of question is that? Of course not. I played- you remember Last of Us 2? Did you ever play The Last of Us? No, cuz it looked like- it looked like Whitegilt, the game. Well, one of my biggest problems with these- with media, but especially video games,

Uh-huh. Uh, is that they- they sometimes won't give the player, like, agency. Right. And again, it's cause of babies. There's a part in the game, spoiler alert, where there's a pregnant lady, and you stab a- a pregnant lady. Yeah. And then you find out afterwards she was pregnant, you just, like, basically killed her, you know, you stabbed her fucking womb or whatever You probably stabbed the baby that was in there Okay

But they don't let you stab the baby like there's no like you like cool QTE sequence or like minigame or anything It's like it's a cutscene Why would that be a why would that be in a Well, cuz the whole game you spend the whole game and it keeps telling you it's like violence is it keep doing violence and killing all these people And you're killing a million people but then the second you get to the baby killing they're like well. We can't have them kill a baby I'm like I just killed like a hundred people. Why can't I kill a baby? What does they're not people? They're just like an idea Okay, it's just like it's deranged. It's like why is killing 200 people okay? But then the second a baby shows up, you know, even though the baby baby gets killed I don't even get to kill the baby I gotta watch a

cutscene about babies like it's like people should be an option like you go shit in The Last of Us 2 and like press X to wipe your ass there's like stuff that just doesn't belong in a story and that's babies they don't belong to story unless you're telling a baby story but the baby's in the story but I'm saying that like even in a thing that has baby killing I can't kill the baby because we're like they even that they have to take that away from me You at least ask me be like hey Do you want to kill the baby? Yes or no and if you see no like then you watch the cutscene

I think you're gonna get lost because in a game. It could be like a fucking Guitar hero kind of fucking thing You know No, that's not happening That's not my whole game. The whole game was the worst part of the game is that I didn't get to stab the baby Like it was completely ruined my immersion Okay. Yeah, then yeah fine baby sucks in that too because it's not Because you can't kill it in your weird whatever you want to do

I'm not I should have player agency and could get to kill the baby Yeah, but you don't no one has any if there's a baby around no one has any agency at all You're just doing whatever the baby wants to do Trying to work around the baby so the movie's over the's over, everything's stupid as soon as there's a baby. That's it. That's my problem. Trying to think if a baby's ever been good. Man, the office was off the rails.

Maybe with children, seven, they have a baby. They had a fucking baby. They used to do that on sitcoms a lot, is like introduce like a baby. Yeah, when they run out of ideas. Yeah. And then it sucks. Then it's all...

Then it's done. Well, you gotta have the baby show up and then like the baby gets exposed to radiation and becomes a man in like a week and then it's like, alright, now we're talking. Star Trek I think did that. Just have the baby walk in as like an adult. Hey, what's up? I'm the baby. That'd be pretty good.

Like the baby in Dinosaurs. That was a dope ass, baby the baby and dinosaurs Kind of a one-note character. I gotta say All right, I got it I get it What about super heroes right? That's the thing is that how many notes is that exactly? We're pebbles and BamBam? That's the guy that kills super heroes, right? That's the thing, is that, how many notes is that exactly? Hold on, were Pebbles and BamBam always in Flintstones? Or did they get introduced later?

No, they appeared later. Yeah. So cartoons do that a lot, is the scrappy do effect. You bring in like a young little kid fucking around. Yeah, and a cartoon is fine because Pebbles and BamBam are acting like adults. Like they're doing adult shit yeah they're not they're not behaving like babies do they're communicating Bam Bam is like well you really want to learn how babies communicate I think we have a new like section of our discord or something oh do we have a baby a baby room now I

thought we did maybe it's only somebody made one in my discord which I think I need to shut down I don't think I need it. I don't think I need a baby shit. Hmm Start moderating discord that'll that'll be a good use of your time. Babies in media. Babies. Well, you know babies and movies and TV shows Squid games guy sacrifices himself to save some fucking baby. Can you believe that? That's the end. I feel like there's- That's the end after all that fucking build up. After all that shit, he's coming back to Squid games to shut it down and then there's a baby and he's like, oh I guess I'm gonna die then. Like, what? Why? You already killed all those people.

Wasn't the sequel to Honey I Shrunkunk the kid wasn't that a baby honey? I Kid he was a toddler though is cool. Oh Was he yeah, he was like five stomping around he could talk a little bit So it's cool Giant toddler not a baby. Yeah, fair enough That's more like the time while since's been a while since I see honey I blew up the kid man. I can't remember when I saw that. That's a great movie. That's Shrinking Machine messed up again

And it worked. Can you believe it? It goes backwards. It makes the kid it makes the kid bigger. Did you ever go to uh It must have been Universal Studios, Universal Studios Florida back in the day. I've never been to Universal Studios Florida. Oh, you've never been to Universal Studios Florida? They had a whole Honey I Shrunk the Kids Land where everything was, you know, like giant bugs or whatever. And I was, uh, yeah, you could run around Honey I Shrunk the Kids Land and go through, you know, tree trees. It was like you were shrunk down in the in the in the backyard or whatever. Everything was gigantic. They had um honey I blew up I blew up the baby land in the LA one whereas a guy the guy in stilts in a diaper would walk around going

goo goo ga ga. Okay I don't think that's correct. I don't know if it was at Universal Studios I think it was just a like a subsidiary. It's if it was at Universal Studios. I think it was just a like a Yeah, I think it was just a little it was just the alley outside I think it was like at a bar, but it was pretty cool Well speaking of bars dick Lately me and my buddy Dirk have been hitting up the the red lobster and Man, it's it's pretty it's You guys do blackface when you go there? I feel like we should to celebrate. Look, this is, and somebody said, somebody posted, you know they got that new black 35

year old CEO. They do? Yeah, yeah, the new CEO of Red Lobster is a 35 year old black guy who basically showed up and said, you can't give black people unlimited shrimp. What are you retarded? They had to get a black guy to come in to cancel their unlimited shrimp? Yeah, that's the first thing he did. He went, he went, are you guys retarded?

No, you can't give black people unlimited shrimp. Well yeah, he was hired specifically to do that. Yeah. And he's killing it. He's like completely saved the chain from bankruptcy and revitalized it all. And the very first step was coming in going Guys I don't think you understand how much

shrimp my people can eat. Stop giving it to them. It's fucking us over. Oh man, that's cool. So Red Lobster has completely revitalized. It's a destination restaurant now. It's actually very good, I've been surprised. Obviously the Cheddar Bay biscuits are a fantastic thing to enjoy.

Okay. But here's the thing, we go to the Red Lobster, we get thirsty. So we go, oh, well maybe we'll get one of these signature cocktails. You know, the Rockin Lobster or the... Well that's... It would be fine if I looked at the menu and it said, well here's how much this motherfucker costs. But it doesn't.

And that's my problem, Dick, is no prices on the drink menu. What the fuck is that? Why why? Just put the I like Maybe the price is change occasionally, okay But I gotta know if if the super clam base Shooter or whatever is that $15? Is that 20 bucks? Yeah And what am I gonna do? I'm gonna go to the waitress. I'm gonna go well how much is that one?

How much is that one? Oh, you don't think they're used to that at the Red Lobster? But she doesn't know! How much you dead? She doesn't know! And how much are the napkins? She goes I gotta go check because I don't fucking know yeah Me and Dirk went and they had like these these seasonal whatever the fuck cocktails electric lemonade right dirt Yes, I'm the Right. I'm the alpha in that situation Yeah, Dirk and me and uh She goes how much he goes. Oh are these part of this like five dollar whatever the fuck thing and she goes yeah, he goes awesome All right, so he was just drinking these like electric lemonade shooters in that jerk jerk. Yeah

What it was like this like exist to cost you money? He's guzzling down fucking electric lemonade Paying for his fucking electric. Yeah, split it when the bill comes you're gonna split it, so you're getting well Here's the thing so he's drinking he's having a good time Uh-huh bill comes and all of a sudden the five dollar funtime cocktail is $15 apiece of course and he goes to the waitress he goes you told me there's a five bucks You know what she says she goes. Oh shit. I oops oops So we go oops. Yeah, no fucking fix it. What do you mean oops?

You can't tell me it's five bucks have me drink a shit ton of retarded. How would that drink be five dollars? Well cuz they have they have like a happy hour menu or shit is five dollars And it's a great fucking value But you don't know what's on it cuz you look at the drink menu, and you don't know what the fuck's going on It's not just on it shit is on it look. It's not just red lobster doing this okay? There's a lot of places you go obviously you go to a bar in the fucking prices aren't posted at all So you go like yeah, I'm gonna just cannot get away from cheapskates It's not like you're not going to red lobster to spend a lot of money typically you're trying to get like you know

Some bang for your buck. It's a family restaurant. Yeah, okay But you know you go to the bar you're already going in blind already You go let me get a rum and coke and then it's like 20 bucks you go. Ah fuck I wish that was posted somewhere. I wish I knew like why do I got a guess? Why don't you not gonna buy your look you're not gonna buy alcohol because it's $20? I would uh... Maybe go somewhere else? You gonna haggle with your fentanyl dealer?

Hey can I get a, can I get some of the fentanyl? Yo yeah that's too much. No I'll wait. I'll come back tomorrow. Yeah right. I'm just saying, look, the only reason they do it is because they want you to ju- Well if you can't afford me if you don't gotta ask you probably can't afford it bro yeah let me make an informed decision whatever just tell me how much you fucking is why do you gotta hide it here's why it's a yeah go ahead well why does it suck because if you're buying drinks for other people they don't know what they owe you like if

you're if you're with a woman, even your wife, and you're buying drinks for her or whatever, and it doesn't say the number, the price on the menu, she doesn't know how much she owes you sexually after the date. Right. Because she doesn't- She thinks that it was basically free. Yeah, free.

Oh, there's no price, it must be free. I don't owe him anything. They need to put the price on there so she knows, so a woman knows how much she owes you for sex afterwards, the date. Yeah, there needs to be a stated total. So she knows, well, that was like $40 worth of drinks you had, that's at least a-

That's a hand job, at least. That's a hand job and a half. Yeah. Hand job and a little credit towards the next one. one like you like it a hand job like you liked it Handjob and eye contact is $40. Mm-hmm. That's the right The big problem is they don't know they don't know how much they owe you sexually. That's the problem There is currently no federal law mandating drink prices be printed, which is absurd to me. I don't understand. You go into a store, you got to put prices on the items, right?

You got to clearly label what's going on. The 2014 US court ruled that omitting drink prices didn't violate New York consumer fraud law as long as the prices were reasonably obtainable. Meaning I got to flag this bitch down and go hey I was thinking about getting the the super mudslide Canyon Bugs well yeah, that's the thing you know well you don't know

You should know Why should I know cuz you're an adult You should know. Why should I know? Cause you're an adult. You should know- Okay, especially now that we have the fucking QR code menus. Now there's no excuse. I should be able to scan the QR code. You can dynamically update your prices whenever you want. There's now no reason to be hiding this shit from me. Other than you want to get me drunk on cheddar bay biscuits. And I'm not paying attention to the totals,

the next thing you know I'm knee deep in fucking crab dip. Damn it, it's only a problem for a retarded person who would think that a drink is $5. You know? Like- Sometimes they are! They have a happy hour at the Red Lobster. It's pretty good. They got the Long Island Ice Tea. There's no way a Long Island iced tea is $5 It's five bucks is the red lobster. No way. There's no way no way. I got them I got a bunch of them. I was maybe one. There's no fucking way Long Island iced tea is five bucks

I don't believe I didn't realize Long Island iced tea does not have any tea in it at all. Did you know that? Yeah Well, why is it called the Long Island Ice Tea? That's retarded. I thought it was iced tea. Why? I mean it's tasty I guess. Yeah. Why did I think that? I don't know. It's kind of weird. Because I've never experienced something that's iced tea but it's not actually iced tea. Like there's no other, there's no other, well it's Coke. You know it's just like Coca Cola to give it the iced tea like there's no other there's no well. It's coke. You know it's just like coca-cola to give it the iced tea color I mean not a good one a good maybe just like That I think I think all of them

I think all of them to get the fucking Long Island iced tea or now you go like like a little drop yeah, you give it a little splash a splash of cola a splash cola to give it an amber hue, similar to iced tea. You gotta go to the Red Lobster. You gotta take the baby and the lady to the Red Lobster. Are you fucking kidding me? Get the- That 35 year old black CEO died for our sins. And I gotta say, I went in there and it was mostly white people.

I think he scared away his people. He did an ad. I saw that that guy did an ad for the Red Lobster when he took over. And he came over and he goes, even I, me, the CEO pays. And look, I make and I do a big tip, too. And he did a close up on him. He showed the tipping yeah It is crazy. He's turned it around man. You fuckers better start tipping. That's what he said when he took it over

You fuckers better start tipping. I mean, I think you put a black guy in there cuz then when you know You start discriminating. It's like well our CEO's black yeah yeah well no more unlimited shrimp at the red lobster which is fine because that man that we went for that unlimited shrimp one time it was the worst shit we ever had yeah it was fucking terrible but now the red lobsters good except for again the drink menu you gotta put the prices on there And That's so you're not surprised bottom line Yeah, I want to well I would like to try these fanciful. I like fanciful drinks why you know They have a fun flavor. They're

Exotic do you go to like I like the tiki bars the tiki bars are fun do you go to like alcoholic shakes like when it's like a shake with bourbon in it like no I don't like no so I like like I like I like fruit fruity drinks I like you know pineapple juice and rum and a little cherry in there. What about spiked pancakes? Umbrella. Have you ever had those? Spiked?

Rum? Is that alcohol in pancakes? Yeah, pancakes and rum. Well, I like rum baba. I get that from the Italian delicat- I gave you a- didn't you have some of that rum cake I got from the Italian deli? Yeah. I gave- I had Dirk have that. He's like, ah, it's too much alcohol in there

I'm like you're a fucking lush. What do you mean? There's too much alcohol in there. You drink more than me. I Didn't understand that at all. I'm like, that's a delicious thing. You guys should go to Canners with your routine. These are too expensive. This rum cake has too much rum in it. I do have to go to Canners because I still have that Groupon So maybe I will. Yeah, okay. Price? That's my problem. No prices on the drink menu.

That's your problem? No prices on the drink menu. All right. No sex in the champagne room. I have a problem, but I forgot to look up any stats for it. And even though there's tons of stats for it, it's um, it's why are- Look them up as the show's going, you gotta open chat to the PD. Why are these retards so obsessed with high speed trains?

Why? Why are these retards in America so obsessed with high speed trains? Go. Why? Why are they obsessed with high speed trains? Fuck high speed trains. Why have I, why do I- Well it would be nice if we had them, it would be nice. Why, where are you gonna go?

Eh, San Francisco. You're gonna go, you're gonna load up on your high-speed train and take a four hour ride with all the homeless and red lobster persons, aficionados, aficionados of America. Like red lobster Americans. And you're gonna cram your ass into a train and take a three hour ride to San Francisco.

Is that what you're gonna do, Vito? I mean, the only bad part would be getting off the train, but the train ride itself would be enjoyable. Why do you think that? You know, you sit there, read a book, play a little there read a book. It's like a plane a little game boy I'm from San Francisco No trains better because the train you can get up you walk around you fuck around Well that says you though why would it why would a high-speed train hat where you could get up and fuck around and walk around?

You can get hepatitis from a bum the problem with a plane is that you can't get up because you got people Sitting around like next to you You're just stuck in that fucking seat Yeah If you get up on the plane and like go to a different part of the plane and fuck around like everybody would enjoy air travel Way more. How often do you take the subway? Not ever now. Never. Okay. Never. Never. So we had a rail near me We had all these retards force us. But I have a rail near me. If I had a rail near me I probably would. Okay. Never. Never. I don't have a rail near me. We had all these retards.

But I have a rail near me. If I had a rail near me, I probably would. Okay. If you had a subway near you, you would take the subway. I used to take, when I lived near a rail line, I would take it down to fucking Little Tokyo and fuck around occasionally. Really? How often have you taken the subway in LA?

Five, six times? Five times, six times. That's exactly what would happen with this high-speed train. I don't do anything anyway. All these fucking idiots. So the high-speed train got canceled or something I guess. Trump canceled it finally even though it's not ever being built and was never being built. Well that whole thing became, it did become a big scam. Yeah it's a big scam and Trump canceled it and then of course there's, the reaction is, oh if only we had, if only we had a high speed train to Vegas. If only we had a high speed train to San Francisco.

It would be nice if we had a high speed train to Vegas. I would take that all the fucking time! No you wouldn't. You would drive. There's no way- It depends on how quick it is. Uh... Not, it's longer than driving. Would it be longer than driving? A high speed train?

Why? Cause it's full of all the F4 mission individuals. There's no traffic! What do you mean there's no traffic? There's people getting on and off! What are you talking about? At a couple stops it it's like, you're driving, there's fucking cars in front of you, you gotta stop for gas. I would assume a train would be quicker to get to Vegas than a car.

It's not. It wouldn't be. It takes forever. Hold on. You know how many- there's a train that goes down to San Diego, right now, from LA. Have you ever taken that? Uh, no, because I don't want to go to San Diego. Okay, but you want to go to Vegas with a train? Yeah, I mean, look, I like driving sure. But if there was a train to Vegas, again, the only issue is you get off and then you don't have any transportation to get somewhere else. Take another smaller train. get from the train station to the hotel and then

you have to take an even smaller train to get up to your room. It's stupid. If you fly to places that's the same. What do you mean? Flying is the same as a train? No, it's going through the air. What are you talking about? It's like 700 miles an hour.

Once you get off the plane you know you gotta deal with the same bullshit. Yeah, but I got all the time in the world because I flew there. The best way to go. High-speed train is like a retarded way to go. And it's retarded because... It's gay. It's... It's... It's...

It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's gay. It's uh- It's uh- I mean, I know you didn't get any stats, but... Who ca- who even cares about stats? It's gay!

That's fucking stupid! Trains- high speed trains are dumb. In general. Have you bet- you were in Japan, you rode the train in Japan, yeah? I hated it. Really? Yeah, I hated it. Yeah. Well, it's clean there.

It's clean. There's no... I mean the problem you have is if we had these trains, again, everybody gets to use them. They're just pissing and shit. Yeah, that's the big problem. Shooting up heroin. Yeah, or else you have to make them really expensive so they don't go.

Like exactly what happened to Red Lobster. Unless you have like a TSA for trains. Drunk people arguing about their drink bill on a train. It has to be two hundred, three hundred dollars, you know? Don't you ever watch like, you know, like the media of the the old timey train cars and, you know, you you settle in on your way out west to become a prospector and yeah some kind of yeah a train yeah what looks nice oh yeah that's what it is you guys want like some kind of anachronistic the conveyance method that

doesn't exist and never existed right is interesting that we have these train rails and like, have you ever heard anybody be like, oh, I'm taking a train back, back East. No. Taking a train to Massachusetts. Yeah. No. Cause why would you ever do that? It's insane. It's stupid.

I don't even know why they exist. But you can do it. Yeah. Like some, somebody must be doing it. I almost, atarded people, guns. One time I was trying to figure out how to ship all my video games from Massachusetts out here and Amtrak was one of the options. How much was that? You can just- it was actually like, uh,

Almost the same price as uh, loading it on a freight truck on a pallet. Yeah. So I thought- but the problem is you gotta go to the fucking Amtrak station and on a pallet. Yeah. So I thought but the problem is you got to go to the fucking Amtrak station and hope that a bunch of drug dealers don't aren't you know ripping fucking packages off the train as it's going. They will. So yeah, they will. So I was like, oh, let's just put it on a truck. That seems better. Yeah. The reason the high-speed rail in California was a big scam was because you know there was that one what was the estate senator or something where he's just like yeah yeah we need a high-speed rail to San Francisco and it's got to stop off and fucking what the what the fuck is it

like the fucking mountains yeah like fuck and you're like no it doesn't need to go there at all and it's like his district he's like no we got to divert it like a million miles off this way and then it'll zoom back the other way. Okay, okay, okay. A high-speed train from LA to Vegas would take two hours and ten minutes. Yeah, that's quicker. You're telling me you would take a two hours train versus four hours in a car where you still have your car. Well, the thing is with the car, I have to drive the car, you know? With the train, somebody else is driving the fucking train And you would take it? I would consider it. Yeah. You'd consider it?

The only reason that I wouldn't consider it is I do like having a car in Vegas because I like to drive around Vegas But if I was renting a car after I got off the train. Yeah, okay. How much would that cost? Yeah, you're talking about five hundred bucks just to the train. Yeah, okay. How much would that cost? You're talking about 500 bucks just to get there. Well, there you go. So it would probably be more economical. And also I get to, if I'm driving my car, I get to go to that weird dead mall in Barstow, which is always fun. Yeah, three hours to get from LA to San Francisco. Half of it has been converted into a fucking outpatient facility for criminals.

So you're like, you're going through the mall and then you're like, why is half the mall covered in barbed wire? You're like, oh, that's where the criminals get their medicine. And you're like, this mall's fucked. I love it. That would be the train. That's what going on the high speed train is. Yeah, you're right. I wouldn't get to stop at that Arby's either. I want a study that explains why these retards are so obsessed with high speed trains. To go to places that they already don't go to for

Three four times the cost of a car because the Japanese self driving car Once the self-driving car shows up like it's gonna be great You just hop in your car and you can like dick around on your phone while the car drives you where you want to go It's like, you know, driving kinda sucks. It's boring. They already have high self-driving cars. What are you talking about? Yeah, I thought you're not allowed to use them

for the full drive or whatever. Yeah, you can go to sleep in them. Really? Yeah. They say don't do it, but you can. Well, that's what I'm saying. Is it like legally, can you just have your car drive you anywhere?

Bro, you can get totally wasted. It's like, okay. So it's like you're not supposed to but people do do it. People do it, they sleep in them. Yeah. I saw that video, I think it was Vegas where like a lady was crossing the road and the Tesla just fucking pancakes her. That was pretty great. That's why you're not allowed to do it. Well, it's not perfect. Alright, well maybe I'll get a self-driving car. That was pretty great. That's why you're not allowed to do it. Well, it's not perfect Hey, well, maybe I'll get a self-driving car. That'd be fun. All right, that's my problem These good problem and their high-speed train obsession. Oh speaking of retards. This was a problem

I thought of as we were doing the show My problem is people who say having a retarded kid is a treasure Like come on with this say having a retarded kid is a treasure. Like, come on with this. I'm constantly on like Twitter or whatever and it'll be like a video of like this odd- do you ever see the one where it's like this autistic kid can draw any logo from like a luxury brand or whatever and I go this is an impressive that's retarded. I don't get these sorts of videos. No. So the guy the guy goes like Louis Vuitton and the retarded kid making the fucking drawing I'd be like Pull up one of your drawings though. Like you drew what was the thing you drew of that woman fucking a dog?

Where's that one? Yeah. Yeah. Hold on. I'll find it. That was Lois Lane from the Superman. Yeah, why did you post that? Well, cuz I'm I'm trying to do more art stuff Your art is way worse than a retarded person's art. I think my art has like a certain kitschy quality to it Retard. Hold on. I drew this a while ago. It's pretty good. Vito, Vito, if you showed if you showed somebody your art instead of retarded kid drew it They would believe it a hundred percent They would they would believe it Again, I'm just look. It's not what I'm trying to pull it up. Can we show it? Well hold on?

It's got titty answer it out Well, then I gotta put it through a fucking thing Hold on. I do have Photoshop open I Drew Lois Lane with the titties hanging out. I want to draw more naked women, I've decided. I think it's a little late for you to start drawing naked women. It's a little late for me to start drawing naked women. What do you mean? You gotta start that as like a like a preteen and

then you get good at it and then you're allowed to keep doing it. I drew naked women. It's not like I didn't ever draw naked women as a preteen and then you get good at it and then you're allowed to keep doing it. I drew naked women. It's not like I didn't ever draw naked women as a preteen. Yeah, but you have to get good at it and then you're allowed to keep doing it as an adult. If you don't get good at it early, then you're not allowed to draw naked women as an adult. I think I got adequate at it, you know? Let's ask MerLogic. Let's ask MerLogic let's ask MerLogic how your I think I could draw drawings are yeah I think I could draw a hold on I'm trying to bring it up here I'll share my drawings of naked women look like trans naked trans women with

no penises well again this is this is on the fucking tablet where I don't have what do you call it I have limited ability to manipulate the image. Do you have a flashlight strapped onto the tablet? What are you drawing? Share screen, let's see. Okay. No, I can't put that on. I did a little bit of- I can't put that on. Well, what do I gotta do?

I gotta like put a black bar over it? Well, what do you think you have to do? The tits are- are out. But they're- they're blurred. No, they're not blurred enough. Alright, hold on. Alright, hold on. You have to blur the shit out of them.

What are you talking about? It's completely- It's not completely fine. Okay, hold on. It's not. You gotta black bar it. You gotta black bar that shit. You can't blur it. You gotta black bar it. You gotta black bar that shit. You can't blur it. You gotta black bar it.

Like this, black bar. Like a bikini. Draw a bikini on her. I'm just trying to get, you know, it's like a little hobby here. How about this? Is this acceptable? Let me see. this is this acceptable let me see no you negate you just did negative colors you can still see your tits you idiot you have to block it out you have to block it out it is blocked out you negated the line so they're white their tits are everything's black and they're all censored though they're not make it all black, but then you're not gonna see anything nobody needs to see your tits They look fucking retarded

Block the whole thing out But if you can't see the air it does look like I can't then you don't even there's nothing to even talk about All right, there's no cocks there. Hold on. There's no cock Okay, so you've You've drawn you see your body there's no point hold on let me hide this overlay There we go. Uh, you drew this. Yeah.

And it is, it's Lois Lane saying again, Lois Lane, yes. Clark, we can screw around more after I walk crypto. And the dog's thinking, Lois, you retard. And Superman says, Yip yip. Right. Walk me through this one. And you've blurred out her naked tits.

So she's walking the dog naked? Okay. So, why would Superman be saying, yip yip, and have his eyes bulging out, and he's got like his tongue wagging? Why would he be saying yip yip and have his eyes bulging out and he's got like his tongue wagging? Why would he be doing that? Clearly Superman and crypto have switched brains So what is happening is currently crypto is in Superman's body and he's been fucking the shit out of Lois and Meanwhile Superman's brain is stuck inside crypto's body and he's been fucking the shit out of Lois and meanwhile

Superman's brain is stuck inside Krypto's body he's going Lois clearly you're fucking a dog look look at that dog face you've okay that's that's all this this you've told this joke really poorly because Superman would never say, Lois, you retard. I think privately he might. It depends on the, I think it depends on the- He would never, he would never say that. It depends on the era. I think there was an era where he'd go, Lois, you retard. How could you?

Of course, I have such places with Crypto the dog. So the joke iso the dog! So the joke is that the dog raped Lois? Well, I mean it's not rape, she's willingly having sex with Dog Superman. Yeah, but under false pretenses that's rape. It's a dog! A dog doesn't have agency. I mean... Can you be raped by a dog? Well, I guess you can be raped by a dog.

It's kind of indicating that the dog has agency. But I'm saying the dog is not able- the dog is not aware that it's raping. To the dog, all it knows is, I'm a dog. And it's having sex with a lady. That's not rape. Yeah, but you are, as the artist, you are raping Lois. That's what's

happening here. By constructing this scene, you are creating a joke that centers around rape. By you! She's not being raped. Yes she is! She's being violated sexually by you! She's having sex with a dog. In a man's body. But that's not rape. Why?!

in a man's body. But that's not rape. Why? Look, the fact that she didn't ask questions, okay? It doesn't turn- rape requires agency from the rapist. But this is not a rapist. This is a dog. So what's- isn't it funny just because she fucked a dog? Yeah. In a man's body? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's been because she fucked a dog? Yeah. In a man's body?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's been going on for a while. It's been weeks of this. Why is she walking the dog naked? She was going to put on clothes before they go outside. She hasn't gotten to that point yet. She put the leash on before she put clothes on? naked she was gonna put on clothes before they go outside she's got a leash on before she put clothes on she put the leash on and then yeah she's gonna put the clothes on who did this who switched them I assume was like a brainiac type

situation perhaps hey brainiac switched Clark and his dogs brains around and the fingers look great on Lois Again, it's like a sketch. Look, I can't get too fucking if I want to get detailed I got to bring it over to the fucking tab the monitor and then I could get detailed This is just like a sketch. Okay, if you showed somebody this and said that a retarded person made it they would believe you no no this is Terrible is it you know I get the face the face shape is alright shit. It looks like total shit I don't think it looks like you sign your name to this because I think it's funny I made a funny little picture. It's funny. I know so I'm just I'm just doodling more. I'm trying to do more doodling What's up with the hips? What's up? Did you see detect? Did you see detective gooner? Do you like detective gooner?

I don't know what that is. Okay. Hold on. What's up with these hips though? On the lady, I mean if you say it's a lady, they're not they're not they're not they're not wide enough. I hear you I hear you. Why is he floating in the air? Is he flying cuz he's Superman Superman we time is in the foredog. He's not flying in the air the dog the dogs in the background the dogs in the background How is that's I mean it's not this is like way for this dog to be in the background I was have to be huge at this side could be up on it could be up on something on For this dog to be in the background, it would have to be huge at this size. It could be up on- it could be up on something.

On these squiggles? But again, it's a little sketch. It's not like a- it's not like a completely- I'm just- I'm just, uh... It looks horrible. I don't think it looks horrible. Hahahaha! How did you see Detective Gooner? Detective Gooner is a new franchise I'm working on.

So in the year 2050, ICE, you know, you can no longer find immigrants because they have face-shifting technology. So Neo ICE, Detective Gooner has the ability to achieve perfect mental clarity by gooning. So by gooning he can see through the veil and he can find the immigrants and deport them. You're talking about masturbating? Gooning. He's jacking off and then he can see through the gooners. It's more than just masturbating, it's gooning.

It's really getting into it. What do you mean it's more than masturbating's a you know it's really getting into it It's like a he's on like another level, okay? The detective gooner like he really gets he really gets there and then because of the and he has the help of his partner Mickey fucking This is retarded too, this woman that you've drawn looks like just totally fucked up The tits are way too high It's high. Yeah, but the sketch is horrible. I Would adjust it as I think it looks all right doing

And just big old titties. No, they're not they look like cancerous growths up here This is not a big titty. Well, it's cuz there's a shoulder. It's cuz this is supposed to be a jacket What do you mean it starts at her shoulder? Look zoom in? Zoom into her shoulders. The focus is on detective. Detective Gooner is the important thing and he's got his little police badge there Should give him a little hat. That's the biggest problem in the universe Maybe you could have like a little policeman's cap that could be helpful He's probably have suspenders. Why are these why are there lines through her knees like this? Lines through like here. Yeah, why is there that?

Okay, it's a sketch. I mean these would this would become like Why don't you just draw like a stick man? I think it would be some kind of like cool like boots. These would be like cool boots this is um This has got to be the worst art ever made. I don't think it's that bad. It's yeah. No, this is it's it what's worse than this do you think? Uhhhh I don't know man.

Search Sonic, search Sonic OC. See if you can find a worse Sonic. It's just a fun little sketch. I'm just having fun with my tablet. You know. What's this stuff on her stomach? What's this shit? I could get more detailed on her stomach. What do you mean right here? Yeah, what's that? What's this crap in the middle of her stomach? Well, this is supposed to be... This is supposed to be a... She's wearing a shirt. So I just colored it in a little bit. Huh.

Uh... Have you ever seen a woman with tits that look like this? Well, it's a... Stylish... It's a stylish abstraction, I would say. Hahahaha! It's a... It's a tasteful abstraction of the female form. And Gooner is written in cum?

Basically? You know, it could be whatever, you know, the thing about Detective Gooner is you never know what's going on. You know, like in a previous age, you would have these drawings and they would be crusty. Like the drawings in your house would be crusty, but because you did it on the computer, it doesn't have that aesthetic.

It's just white. I'm just having a little bit of fun. Look at this guy. Now that's a fun guy. That looks so bad. Look at that guy. The hand is really tiny and the fingers- The hand's tiny! The hand's tiny, the fingers aren't different sizes, like normally the hand is kind of has a shape to it.

Yeah, but look at it. Look at the- look at the battlewear in his eyes, man. That's a tired guy. He's like, when is my comic coming out? That's what he's thinking. When is my comic coming out? That's a classic picture right there. This looks like shit You don't try anything. What do you fucking care? Yeah, I cuz I would suck if I try to draw something I'm just having a little bit of fun, and I think detective you should be having fun making this kind of crap I think all this stuff is I think if people can see the boobs they would go well

I get what's going on here. Yeah, are they up on her shoulders like the other one? No, no, they're they're hanging low. She's got big old Jewish titties All right. Well, is that your problem? I can think of Lois Lane is a Jewish woman. Yeah, she's a reporter Of course she is. Yeah All right high-speed trains high-speed trains babies in movies and TV shows. What were your problems?

Saying retarded kids are a tr- Uh-oh, you stopped. Saying retarded kids are a treat or something like that, like the art, and not showing the drink prices. Not the drink prices, not showing drink prices. I guess I'll read super chats until Vito comes back. I'm right here. Oh, there he is. Okay. Hello. Yeah, we got all your stuff.

Okay, super chats. Somebody asked, does the badge in that man's flesh hurt? Well, yeah, but it accentuates his gooning. Right. That's cool. Thank you. Just having a little bit of fun with the tablet. Having a little bit of fun with the tablet.

Raynoxus for two, thank you for not killing yourself. You're welcome. Coo for two, thank you for not killing yourselves. Prayer. Authen for two, sometimes I cry at night because I don't have a dad. That's a bummer. ShoeboxKingdom for two. Something something. Veto. Head scum. Trademark. Cameron. VP8PN2. Hoggis is here.

Oink oink. Peggy. Johnny Rocket for ten. I understand what you're doing and while I don't understand it, and while I don't understand it, I can't indulge it. Team guy Vito for two, half internet half pig, Vito is a cyborg. Stu K for two, when life gives you lemons you eat them. Stu K for two, Vito, what's the biggest problem in Superman? You'll have to find out. Oh, I guess you're gonna find out on the bonus episode. Diamond G for two oink. Diamond G for two oink.

Boss Hog for $279. Thank you. SkitsoshanTV, the after problem, will be handling, will be handing The Toe his first ever L tonight. You gotta be careful calling your shots like that, Skitsoshan, because The Toe only wins. Captain Obscurity

for five. Happy Hoggist, my pigos! Ding Dong Fuggus for five. Fun fact, Deadpool and Wolverine came out on July 25th, 2024. That's 372 days. Ain't that cuckoo crazy? That is cuckoo crazy. Dick Penisecki for five.

Garbled audio, fuck. Massachusetts Man for 50. How do I get you guys back in studio together? I don't know. I don't know. Inject my, inject my tempus, tympani muscle with Botox while I'm sleeping. That's the next step.

If the central nervous system stuff doesn't work. What? Sure. What sure? Okay. What sure? Okay. What sure okay? Whatever you wanna say. What do you mean whatever I wanna say? That's what's keeping me out of the studio? Yeah.

Alright. What do you mean alright? I got it. What do you mean you all right? I got it. What do you mean you got it? Sounds good. Sounds good? You think you're being kept out for some other reason? Obviously, that you're passive aggressively saying.

I mean, what's going on? I don't know. I told you what's going on? I don't know. I told you what's going on. Sound causes me a tremendous amount of pain. I don't know where it's coming from. I don't know why it happens. And I'm too loud? I mean, you're constantly loud. Yeah, you're extremely loud.

Yes. So could I be less loud? I don't think so. No. Okay. Okay? That's fine. No, it's not fine, because you started this by saying, okay, whatever. Like, you don't believe me.

I don't. You don't. Okay. Nah. Well, go fuck yourself. Ding dong, fuggus for five. Oh, by the way, Vito, what tiers of Superkiller are eligible for the refund? That guy's 3X cover pack with signature isn't eligible.

What is? What's eligible for the refund? The lunch box. The lunch box is eligible for the refund? Yes. All right. Cameron for two. What era do we live in this week Vito? Good question. Jav City for two. What's with all the junk behind you Vito? Jackson, Mark Antonio for five. Whoops. So sad that Joey Swole quit so he won't get his fitness pandering videos for a whole week. I know, it's so bad that he quit. Jav City for two, stop doing the hee hee hee laugh, you know? I'm not trying to be a dick, alright?

I just don't know what's going on. That's it. You don't know what's going on with what? A lot of things, man. Such as, I mean... You're fine with implying that you don't believe shit and like... Throwing doubt in. I just don't want to talk about it on the show, but I can't talk to you any other way, so...

Yeah. So say your thing now. Don't just like imply that you don't believe it or there's something else going on. Say it. I don't know what's going on. Jav City for two, stop doing the hee hee hee laugh veto, it hurts my ears. Johnny Rocket for ten. I'm very confused about what's going on with this show. What's to be confused about?

I don't know. Are you, like, are you happy with the show? Um, no, I think your low energy suck. Okay, so what can I do to make the show like something you would enjoy doing? Because it feels like you don't enjoy doing it with me. I mean, I'm not. I'm not going to like, tell you how to act in a way that I know I'm not gonna like tell you how to act in a way that caters to like some imagined version of me that you have in your mind. What's gonna make you happy?

Just show up with energy. That's it. Show up with energy. That's it. I feel like I've been doing that and you're not happy with me. I feel like I've had great energy on a number of episodes. It's like things just keep deteriorating. So I don't know what to do anymore. Stop arguing online. I'll try. Stop arguing online. Okay, we'll say that.

Show up with energy. That's different. See, that's different. No it's not different because it's retarded. Like there's... Okay. You won't do it. I'm gonna make a list. Stop arguing online. Show up with energy for the show.

Instead of this like Eeyore shit. What do you mean stop arguing online? Stop going on reddit and treating fans like shit. Stop going on reddit and giving snarky sarcastic answers to people who want either to know when their comic is coming out or when they're getting a refund which you said you would give them. Okay no refunds unless you get the lunchbox to your I could refund that or if you mailed me, there's somebody who I, couple people got a refund. But other than that, unless you got the lunchbox tier,

no refunds. And, okay, don't go on Reddit. Got it. No, I said stop arguing online. What is, what am I arguing about? What do you mean? I just explained it. Stop giving snarky, sarcastic answers to people who are paying money.

That's not an argument! Why? Why? Why? You asked what you could do. I gave you the answer. Okay, but I don't understand why this bothers you. Because these people pay hard-earned money for content. For content. To support us, and unfortunately that includes you, but to support me and us. They give us money to consume a comedy product, and instead of growing the product, you're there arguing and turning away fans who pay for the show. That's what you do.

You find people who are paying you money and you treat them like shit. Who am I giving shit who's paying money for the show? Vito, go read why people canceled the Patreon. And it's, I'm sick of Vito's shit, he knows what he's doing, I'll come back when he's done doing this shit. He knows what he's doing. There's tons of people. There's tons of people who- I'm so fucking confused, dude.

I don't understand what's going on. I don't know how else to say this to you stop treating paying customers like shit You're not better than them which pair of guys treat worse shit guys Hold on sound off in the comments if vetoes an asshole to you if you if you paid money To veto for his fucking comic or anything else the comic show to you Post it post about the comics not the show it is the way very much is fucking comic or anything else and he was an asshole to you, post it. Post about it. The comic's not the show.

It is. It very much is. The way I deal with people who go, I'm gonna report you to Indiegogo, that should have nothing to do with the fucking show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Indiegogo. That's, I mean, that's one guy. That's what the guy said. A guy said, well yeah, and you felt you wanted to tweet about it, you go,

I can't believe Vito, this guy says he's gonna report him to Indiegogo, and Vito fucking was dismissive and rude to him. Yeah, the guy said he's gonna report me to Indiegogo! What should I say? Oh my god! Oh my god, please don't report me to Indiegogo! You shouldn't say anything! I'm so sad!

You shouldn't say anything! Why does it bother you that I do? Like why does it matter? It's my fucking life. I won't do it. Okay, now that you're explaining to me that it really bothers you, okay. But like I'm not policing what you say to people online. You're not gonna do any of these things that you say you're gonna do. Just like you sat in the fucking discord. You block people on Twitter all the time. I get messages from them. They go, you know, I've been a long time fan of the show

I can't believe dick would block me. Do you think I tell them all talk to him? I can't believe you you're a paying customer He's got to respect you more. I go. Yeah. Well, I don't control dick's fucking block list and take it up with him I'm not policing your internet behavior, but everything I do you fucking catalog it and you picture fit about it I don't get it. What's the difference? Hey, shithead, did I ask you how I could make your experience better? But I don't- Did I ask you how I could change my behavior to make your experience better?

Yes or no? Why is it cool for you to black people? Yes or no? Did I ask you what I could do to make your experience better? Yeah, you're basically telling me that you have a double standard. You're saying-

Yeah, you're goddamn right I do! Fuck you! You're saying all this stuff that you do, if I do it, it's really bad and I can't do it. But you're allowed to do it. Right. You've been dismissive to fans, you've told people to fuck off, you've blocked people. I'm not fucking policing it, I don't give a shit.

You know? Yeah, but I'm not asking you what I can do to make your experience better am I? So but you're saying to make your experience better don't act like you and I have a different set of rules. Yeah don't act like right right right don't act like me. Alright I got it. Act different. You can do. Act different. I can do whatever I want. I can do whatever I want and you can't. How's that? So I gotta be oh all right man. I'm sorry no more. I'm sorry more sarcastic snarky comments no more I'll give you a refund now. I won't no more of that shit no more arguing on Twitter No more arguing on YouTube no more arguing on discord none of that shit. That's it All right, man fine, what do you mean? Are you gonna do it or not?

Alright man, fine. What do you mean alright? Are you gonna do it or not? It's uh, it's really gonna suck. But I'll do it if it'll make it. To not argue on reddit is really gonna suck? It really will, but if it will make you happy and make for a better show, I'll do it. No, I said, all I said was stop arguing on twitter, show up with energy. That's it. was stop arguing on Twitter, show up with energy. That's it. Okay, if that's gonna make the show more fun for you and you enjoy your, I want you to have a good time. Right. The Gentleman Sausage for five.

You don't need to go to another country to find an unscrupulous scientist you can pay. I mean, just tell me to fucking piss off. I don't, what do you want me to do? What are you still crying about? I'm not crying, I just like. Stop arguing on Twitter with people who pay for your comedy and your fucking comics. What do you want me to do? What are you still crying about? I'm not crying, I just like... Stop arguing on Twitter with people who pay for your comedy and your fucking comics.

Stop acting like you're better than them and do the show with some energy. What's wrong with that? I think I've done pretty good energy. You haven't. Today you showed up like a fucking sack of shit. Yeah, well you know what? You guys are kind of beating it out of me. Fuck you! Your job is to show up and make jokes on a microphone, you fucking drama queen! Not everyone is here to placate your

experience. It's the easiest job in the world. You cry about it every week. Fuck! I'm not crying about it. You cry about it fucking constantly. You cry about my motivation. What's my motivation? I'm the talent. I need to be catered to at all times. It's so fucking annoying. I don't have to be catered to. I just want like a basic level of

respect. You deserve less. Honestly, you deserve less. Why do you want to do the show with a guy you don't respect? Because it comes in waves. Sometimes you're great, other times you're fucking... So sometimes you respect me. No, I never respect you. Sometimes you make good comedy. Then why do you want to do a show with me? What's the point of this?

What do you mean what's the point of this? It's funny sometimes, except when shit like this is happening What do you shit like this I'm trying to understand what is happening you haven't communicated with me for like two months Now you tell me I we can't email about the show anymore, bro Are you fucking insane you psychotic like ex-girlfriend emails about schizo Sean. You send retarded stuff all the time. What was psychotic? Tell me what was psychotic about the email. Any email at all that has to do with your internet fights is psychotic. It's not psychotic. I literally just said,

Hey, here's a thing I don't want to talk about on the show. You've had things you don't want to talk about on the show. I'm canceling Hackamania. You remember that one? Totally okay want to talk about in the show. I'm canceling Hackamania. You remember that one? Totally okay with them? You remember that one? I'm canceling Hackamania. I'm not doing Hackamania. That shit. I don't remember that being an email. That was a voice- yeah, I wish it was an email. I would have posted it. It was a fucking phone call. You remember that shit?

First of all, I have no ability to cancel Hackamania. I called you and I said- You said you weren't coming. Do you remember that? Yes. Okay, psychotic. I'm not going to Hackamania because Riley's making fun of me. Psychotic. I don't think it's psychotic. I just felt really bad. It's totally stupid and psychotic. It is. Listen to me. What you did during Hackamania was fucking stupid. Are you listening to me? Are you listening to me? What did I do during Hackamania?

What you did canceling Hackamania because of Riley was fucking stupid. Yes or no? I didn't cancel. I did not during Hackamania? What you did, canceling Hackamania because of Riley, was fucking stupid. Yes or no? I didn't cancel, I did not cancel Hackamania. You called me and canceled Hackamania. Why did I get texts from Patrick Melton and Carl all week about you canceling Hackamania? That's crazy because I didn't cancel Hackamania. I said a million times I'm going and I'm going to be there. What did you say when you called me?

I said, hey, I don't want to go. You said I'm not going. And then what? Ten minutes later I called you back and I said when you called me? I said, hey, I don't want to go. You said I'm not going. And then what? 10 minutes later I called you back and I said, you know what? I talked to Melton. I'm gonna go. I don't know why I freaked out. No, that is not what happened. That's absolutely what happened. I talked to Melton. No, it is not what happened. I called you back.

No, you did not. Oh, I must have texted you back. I don't know, you're blocked. We had long conversations about who was going to fill in for you. Can I do a show by myself? All this retarded shit. What are you talking about? I talked to Melton two seconds after I talked to you.

And he said, hey, don't worry about it. And I said, okay. And then you had long conversations about who was going to replace me at Hackamania. This is the first I'm hearing of this. I mean, it must be so confusing for you man it is very confusing to go through these like to go through life and have people act in wild ways and not want to talk to you anymore it must be so fucking confusing it really is I'm fucking baffled we got a great show act the movies I just want to thank you for being a good friend

who always responds to my messages right away and privately. Matteo Roberto, five. Rip, Chuck Mangione. Strategie for five. That voted up song is the best song I've heard in my entire life. I agree. Jay Crisino for five. Vito's crashing on Reddit today. I know. Cameron for two. Cat voice, cat. Very professional. Oink oink oink. Pigeon Sal for five. eat Vito's cat first. Spider Eternal for two, the cat baby talk is cringe, stop that shit Vito.

Freddy Woods for five, biggest problem, others people's pets. Cameron for two, Vito does his part, he always brings the pretzels. 4x4 plus for two, Vito needs a lower quality camera, disgusting. Drunken Atheist Studio for two. Review Naked Gun Vito. It was genuinely hilarious. Pigeon Sal for two. Hulk Hogan, HH. Bruce for two. Thoughts on Happy Gilmore. Oh my god, a lot, but I can't get into it now. Spider Eternal for two. Cartman has something to say to people like Kyle. Mick, Mick Lights for five.

I remember when Super Jail pulled off Baby on Baby Violence. That was a good episode. That was a good episode. Strategy for five. Imagine watching a suspenseful Korean zombie drama, but right when the main guy's about to die, Chuck, wait, is that a baby? Nobody wants that truth.

Drunken Atheist Studio for five. A scene from Baby's Day Out was shot behind my apartment building in what used to be an abandoned Ovaltine chocolate milk factory. Solid Chicago flick. I love that flick. Antagonist vision for two. Vito, please, for the love of God, wash your glasses.

Jav City for two. You already told this red lobster drink story, Vito. Beach Hook for 20. 20 is way too much for alcohol. Fish Nuts for five. Are you dating Dirk or something, man? Why are you taking him on dates? I'm not British for five.

I'm just glad that my best friend Vito's having a good time. Strategy for five. Unlisted prices was a 2023 problem, Vito. Vito owes us another problem. Drunk is an atheist studio for two. I found out there are no motherfuckers in a blue motherfucker.

No MFs in a blue MF. Oakley for five. Think about how fast the Holocaust would have been on a high-speed rail, Vito. Choo-choo. Last stop to Doc Howe. Good problem, Richard. Thank you. Salt Merchant for two. Engineers swear an oath to uphold trains.

Oakie for two. Vito, a live art commission stream would be great. Citizen Johnny Rico for two. Vito's Art is too meta for Dick's peanut brain. I agree. Matt, Mr. Tattoo Charlie for five. If you're so good at drawing Vito, why don't you finish your comic? Fish Nuts for five. Vito's drawings suck. Lul. JVC for five. They're not great. They're fun.

If this is the level of comedy in Superkiller, maybe it shouldn't be released. Oh man. Not Mothman for five. I suppressed the memory of the Crypto comic, but that's for the reminder. Thanks for the reminder. A real crumb comics experience. Okie for two. Vito Detective Gooner to protect and purr. Trio Doug for two.

Vito, you can't criticize men's art after this. Mr. Tattoo Charlie for two. Chris Chan called once his drawing back. Ben Smirk for five. Eric July actually finishes and releases comics and his art is better. All right let's see what else. Well it's not his art. I don't think Eric can draw. Loading. Okay. Skit so Sean. Oh. Oh oh oh oh oh. Doo doo doo.

Doo doo doo. Something about skit so Sean. Chris Chan called, he wants his drawings back. Yeah, Eric. Third Christmas with no super killer under the tree from Diamond G. Plumbo for five. Why do all the females Vito draws have hips smaller than their shoulders? Ballistic arm bars for five. Fuck high-speed trains. Give me rocket planes like the man from the high castle.

LJ clobberino for two. Happy beer day. Happy beer day, LJ. Jad Dragon for five. How high does the patreon have to get to get Vito back in the studio? protected by drum shields. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know why hyperacusis happens. It's very complicated and It's It's mostly a central nervous system,

essential auditory processing problem. So, I don't know. How about we build a little box with like, Plexiglas, and I'll just be in there. We put it underground, then we can put you in it. I'll go into your shit pit. Great guy, Gabe, for two, Vito Vito, Cameron for two, Skits O'Shawn gave you 4K in the last month, thank you Skits O'Shawn. Skits O'Shawn TV for five, I've given you over $4,000 and you treat me like a terrorist.

Bender for five, stop picking fights, stop calling Dick's wife to defend you. No fucking shit man, calling my wife at school was a- Wait, calling her to defend me? What are you talking about? Calling my wife at all was a big fucking problem for me. Okay, well let's talk about it. Yeah, kill yourself. That's what I have to say about it. It's a big fucking problem for me. Why don't you just talk to me about these problems?

Because you are a retard. You don't ever change anything. You don't listen and everything you say is a way to just keep people talking. I don't think that's true, man. I think I try to understand what the problems are and I try to adjust my behavior to make them better, but let's be clear. Next time you have any kind of relationship with a man, don't ever fucking call their wife.

How about that? Okay, I don't get it. I assumed that you guys were at home. This is why you're retarded, because you just don't listen. Bro, we're- Oh, you just don't listen. Bro. Oh, I don't get her. Oh. I'm trying to explain to you why I would do it.

Do you think I did it to hurt you? I don't give a fuck why you would do it. Do you think I did it to hurt you? I don't give a fuck why you would do it. I don't give a fuck why you would do it. Don't ever do it. I wanted to know where you were. I would assume the person who lives with you

would know where you are. Vito assume the person who lives with you would know where you are. Vito, you bothering people with like novels? Why is it bothering? It's a phone call! Because it's taking time! You are not worth the time it takes to engage with you. Then don't engage with me, but just tell me, hey... You are blocked on everything because you are a fucking time suck! Are you listening to me?

Your constant need of validation is a total waste of time. Okay, this is the first time you have said Vito, it's too much time. So now that I've heard it Got it. I understand. It's too much time You got other stuff going on and I've said to you. Hey if there's anything I can do to be less of a burden Stop texting me. Stop. Say that. I said it so many fucking times I said don't text me don't ever text me about your retarded internet fights never never and they kept doing it. Anytime I've texted you I've tried to text you because it's something about the show, okay? The show- I've got it. No, no, no, see this is why you're retarded. Because you do- you text me about retarded shit and then say it's the show.

It's retarded to you. No, no. But it's not retarded to me. I don't give a fuck what you think is not retarded. You are retarded. But here's what you're saying, hold on! Here's what you don't get. You are totally fucked, Vito.

You're saying- you're saying, Vito, this is really important to me. And I'm going, I got it, and even if I don't understand it, I'm gonna respect it. And I say to you, this is really important to me, and you go, you're retarded, and I don't respect that at all. Sorry. And that's the difference. No, the difference is, you don't matter to me. The things I care about don't matter to you. At all.

I got it. You don't matter at all. Right. The things you care about don't matter to you. At all. I got it. You don't matter at all. Right. The things you care about don't matter at all. I got it. I got it. I got it. Don't ever contact me again. 100%. 100%. Okay. Anything that matters to me. Never. You don't care about it. No, not matters to you. You, nothing. Matters to you. But me. You, doesn't matter to you. Nothing. Who's trying to understand what matters to you and what's important to you and what you need and what boundaries you need established.

And I'm going out of my way to try and figure that out. I established the boundaries, you're blocked on everything. I don't need you to, I don't need to work with you to establish boundaries. You're blocked. I feel attacked, Uthen, I feel attacked in the Discord,

Baldr, Salt Merchant for two. First live show I've caught and this is how it ends J Bro, DAC for five, Superkiller became part of the show. Yeah, I know Vito It's not part of the show. It is obviously part of the show. Nobody was supporting you to this level. You decided to make it a huge part of the show and I don't think you can get upset later when it's a part of the show. Hey, guess what I can. I can get upset whenever I want. Okay, go nuts. You can be as upset as you want! That's where the money comes from, Vito. That's where the fucking money comes from.

What- where does the money come from? I get upset about whatever the fuck I want. And I'm not telling you not to be upset about it, but I'm saying if it's actually making you upset, don't actually be upset. What do you mean don't actually be upset? Are you doing it because- You treated people who cuz you like shit

How you are because you're a fucking asshole to them anytime somebody asks about their comic that they paid for You're a cocksucker to them. No, I'm not if you said you are you a If you go hey if bro if you go hey man, how's the how's the status of the comic going? I always respond and go well well here's what we're doing. If you go, if you go, hey fat boy, where's my fucking comic? I might go fuck you. These are obvious lies. This is like, this is the way you lie.

This is the way you lie. It's like, oh, I can't even believe you'd say that. Yeah. It's who, who asked asked very who asked in a nice Genuine way. Hey Vito. I'm a fan of the comic ones are coming out, you know, I want and I said, oh fuck you You know, what is that ever happened? Tons of people Dude you're inventing, that's totally invented. You do this all the time. Shut up. No no no don't fucking kish gal at me You invent fucking scenarios And you refuse to post more pictures of your cats when I paid harder and money for you, bro

Jacob wagon and live the comic comic show it's not even a comedy. Yeah, nobody gives a fuck about the comic It was about supporting you. Okay, then that's good news because the comic fucking sucks. Like the jokes aren't I got it? It's dated jokes aren't funny. It's like together stories It's dated. The jokes aren't funny. It's dated. The story's like pieced together. The story's terrible. It's total dog shit. A Karl for five, just released the comic, drink a monster before the show, mute Twitter cards and be funny. You're hilarious when you want to be Vito. Yeah, that's true. Bruce for five, I'm Vito, I'm fat and gay,

Jewish and I love Israel and I think that Sidney Sweeney is a Neo-Nazi, also I'm gay and I'm Vito. Spider-Eternal for five, Vito stop acting like a child, are you so clueless that you can't see the crushing level of stress you put on Richard and anyone that works with you? I just don't get it. Jad, Jad, Jad, number two. I know, yeah, you keep saying I don't get it like it's, like it's a permission slip to act like an asshole, but it's not.

Just talk, just talk to me. Talking to you is a waste of time. You're a fucking brick wall, bro. The only reason to talk to you is to turn it into content. There's no reason to talk to you outside of the show. Do you not get that? So what's the show? This, bring in problems, have high energy,

stop arguing on Twitter, that's it. This is just so bizarre, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're not getting your way on this one, bro. I'm not talking to you outside of the fucking show. What is getting my way? This is just so bizarre man. Yeah yeah yeah, you're not getting your way on this one bro. I'm not talking to you outside of the fucking show. What is getting my way? Okay, that's fine. Go and like having extended phone calls with you, going to dinner with you to hash things

out. I'm not doing any of that fucking shit. Kristen Dorff for two, I paid for this super chat. Because it is a waste of fucking time. I paid for this super chat. It's not a waste of time. Shut I paid for this Super Chat reading Vito. And Wild for two, We Like Vito, David Davidson for 20. Vito is twice the size of Maddox.

And has stuck around for twice as many episodes. Get your PPP, get PPP as your next co-host. And Biggest Problem 3.0 might reach 300 gain eggs. Pigeon Sal for five, typical a-hole. Ask for a solution and then disregards everything you say. Yeah, exactly, it's fucking infuriating. Just like the talking is all they want to do. They want to wear you down until you accept their solution, which is always deal with them more. Cameron for two, Pig and Mud, oink, Pig and Mud, Piggy and Mud.

Cameron for five, just remember Vito, you're on the show because he couldn't get Boogie. Boogie would not be nearly as good as I am, and I think we all know that. Vito, you're on the show because he couldn't get boogie. Boogie would not be nearly as good as I am. And I think we all know that. Because somebody's got to bring the comedy. That's it. Not just the sad, pathetic anger. Dick, look, I don't understand because we got a great show. We should be very happy about what a great show we have.

Right. Are you, are you, I don't get it, man. This should be a positive experience for both of us. And it seems like it's not. Like you like dealing with me is too much of a headache. Well, not anymore. I blacked you. It's not the headache is gone Okay, I don't have to deal with your online fights anymore. It's perfect

So that's that's the problem is my online fights. Well, the problem is I want to get it crystal clear I waste your time. Yes Yeah, I don't want to hear about your online fights. I don't ever want to hear about them. Okay, I got it. You don't want to hear about my online fights, and you don't want me to waste your time. No, online fights. And that- that's the one thing?

Well, yes, because it leads to- There's gotta be more! No, it's just online fights. It's online fights that you constantly make me deal with. And I don't want to deal with them. It's a waste of time. Okay. Again, sure. What do you mean, huh? Sure. It's a very... What I'm explaining to you is very, very simple. You pick fights with people, you get blown out and lose, and then you cry to me and want me to ban fans from the show Because you lost an argument with them. That's what you do every couple of months

Okay, I don't want you to ban- what does banning fans from the show mean? What do you mean? That I don't want to talk about a guy who's coming to my house Because I think that's a fucking Pathetic waste of my time and I don't don't't wanna give, I don't give promotion to people who go, oh, what if I show up to Vito's house and fuck with him? I don't go all the shit and fucking show time. Why'd you wear a bluey shirt then? You know what?

I had it on at the time, and I said if I'm gonna be on camera, because I can't stop this guy from filming, I might as well wear something funny. Okay, so you did make content with him. I guess so, And you know what? Yes. You don't always think everything through.

Yeah, you do. You think I thought that through, like really long and hard, and I said, Oh, well maybe I'm feeding into it. I think you thought it through. I think I said, if I'm gonna be on camera, and there's nothing I can do about it, even if I don't want to be on camera, I don't know, put on a funny shirt. Fuck it. Yeah, so you're making comedy with the guy.

I mean, do you think boogie goes and goes, man, maybe I should have worn something different instead of that Tomb Raider shirt? The whole point is, you know, you're gonna be on camera. How do you want to come off? Well, you're not on camera if you're inside your house, are you? you're gonna be on camera, how do you wanna come off? And I say, I don't wanna come off. Well, you're not on camera if you're inside your house, are you? Okay, so maybe in the future, I won't come outside. I decided to come outside.

Yeah, cause you're making comedy content with Skits O'Shawn. I don't want, I don't wanna make, I'm not, I'm not. Yes, you are. You're making comedy content. I don't want to. These are your comedy, these are your comedy partners that you're making comedy content with. Well, I'm ending, I'm ending all comedy partnerships. Yeah, you've said that. That you think I've established. You've said that before, but you're making comedy content with. Well, I'm ending all comedy partnerships that you think I've established. Yeah, you've said that before, but you're always arguing with them in Discord, blah blah blah blah blah.

I don't want to hear about it anymore. Hold on. I have completely blocked all these people on Discord, and I'm not interacting with them at all. Right, right, right. How many times have you done that? Or said you've done it and then not done it? This is the first time I've done it. Okay. Look at that smile. Look. If all you want is to not, uh, have to hear about whatever, okay. Yeah. Done. It's done. It's already done.

What are you talking about? I can do it. You're forced to do it. Because you're blocked. You don't have a choice. I feel like we got a great show. Uh-huh. I feel like we'd have a better show. Show up with more energy. Show up with more energy. Stop being such a fucking sad sack every show. Pick it up. More energy. Make stingers. Make stingers. More energy. Get your fucking comic out. That's it. All this fucking therapist shit. Go talk to a trans- go talk to a woman or a fucking guy who puts a dress on go talk to them about it

I don't fucking care. I Need to know what's going on with the show I don't understand doing an extremely popular podcast where the two guys don't talk or coordinate at all I don't think it's making the show better who cares I Feel like I'm sorry. I don't care. I don't care right so this is what I don't understand you go Why would you be you know do a horrible thing to paying fans? And I go well when the best thing to do to paying fans to do the best possible show we can do I Mean that's just like a question.

Like I didn't say that. I said stop picking fights with fans who pay you money. I didn't say whatever shit you just said. That's garbage. Okay, and I shouldn't pick fights with fans for what reason? Because they blow you out and then you cry about it for a week because you always get blown out by fans. They blow me out.

Wait, what are you talking about? What was I blown out by, what are you talking about? What was I blown out by? Every fucking fan you argue with you get fucking blown out by Vito. I have no idea what you're talking about. You guys live in this like- You get in fights with Riley and then you're like, I'm gonna rape Mint. Oh Jesus Christ. Yeah, that's a blowout, bro. That's a big-time blowout. Well, I don't get that at all.

Okay, maybe from you guys' perspective. I don't get it. It's a huge blowout. I'm completely destroyed. I would like to do a great show. Right, then have some energy. Show up with some energy, get your comic out. That's it.

No problem. The comic's coming out. Yeah, show up with some energy then. Energy big time right at the front. Stop being such a fucking sad sack that needs to be dragged in every episode. Show up with energy. I don't think that's been the case. I think I've had good energy. So what's the point of talking to you then? I mean you're doing everything perfectly. What's the fucking point of talking to you? Because there's things I would like from you.

I don't give a fuck about those. Look at me in my eyes. I don't give a fuck about what you want. Repeat it. Repeat it after me. I don't give a fuck about what you want! So We had like a really great shit, and it to me it feels like a miserable show. I don't get it Well, you became Eric July bro. Like what do you want? What do you want me to say?

So how do I okay? You're just very very very July you have very thin skin. I Have very thin skin. I have very thin skin. Yeah. Okay, I don't think the defining quality of Eric July is his thin skin. Okay, well, what do you think it is? Ineptitude, incompetence, inability to make anything of value. So how's your comic going? And why isn't it out? Great! Why isn't it out? Because I've been perfected. I've been making it look in a way. I want it to look not out because of incompetence it's not out because of I don't know if incompetence is the right word.

I won't go into all the reasons for delays, okay? Oh wait, is this, is it, did it stop streaming? Uh oh. Uh oh. Ba ba ba ba ba. Ba ba ba ba. Let's see. Ba ba ba ba ba. Ba ba ba ba. Let's see.

Ba ba ba ba ba. Oh, okay. No, it's still going. Yeah, the reason your comic's not out is because of incompetence, right? Are you left? Oh, Vito left! Okay, who wants to come in? Uh, uh, uh, uh...

Oh, he's back. Alright, there he's back. I don't know what happened. Yeah, okay, you's back. All right there. He's back. I don't know what happened. Yeah, okay, you're back Well, I think this is a Thing what's happening gonna go Honestly, what do you mean? How do you think this conversation was gonna go honestly? Probably about like this. I don't know. What do you I don't think I expected anything more out of it.

I think it's a valuable conversation regardless. Well, let's see. Do you not think this has any value whatsoever? No, I don't think it's funny. No. I don't think it has any comedic value. No. I think sometimes... This is good radio, Daniel Adams says. Okay says okay super killer is the heartbound of comics Vito who did ads for years about a comic here Yeah, I'm the fucking you can read a super chat spender for five so in the last show imploded

We got the genius of mad cucks veto cucks anyway Mike hunt for five Maddox and dick was brought up at the end of Sam Hyde show. I know I got to watch that on my show Yeah, okay. Krosh, Kro-nosh for 5,000. Without Vito, we would have another TDS. One TDS is enough. A pineapple man for five. This episode is textbook ESTP versus INFP clashing.

It's gay, something gay. Daniel Adams for two. Is that a woman who posted that? Why don't you have a girlfriend Vito? Gelatinousrube for ten. Vito you think asking the same question over and over again is gonna fix the problem? You need a social media manager, project manager, something. Stop looping. Antagonistvision for five. Ask Tony from Hack the Movies how he's so high energy lately Vito. I can help you with that shit if you want. Just hit me up on discord. Alright, um What else is there? You got anything else?

It's good radio. Look, you can add the last word. I miss you. And I'm always gonna miss you. You were a very important part of my life. And I have a deep fear that that time is over. Yeah. And if that's how it has to be, it's tremendously sad. It's like losing a friend. It's like losing a brother. Yeah. It's losing someone I cared about and How do I put this I

Deeply respect you as a comedic talent as a as a as a man as a person as a And I see the comedic talent as a man, as a person. And I see the life you have. I see the family you make. I see the smiles you bring. This is getting gay. I'm being gay. I think you have value. Don't do the pathetic sign

How do you play stop with the fucking day it's such a cocksucker It's deeply sad to me to think that I've lost And I never I never felt like I was Someone you would want to have as a friend and I understood that I think we have different Ways of being You're a you're a Boozer and a Womanizer, I don't fucking know, I'm like... A gay...

What the fuck does that have to do with anything?! I'm just saying like... There's a split, I'm a nerdy, fat... Loser, you're like... Dr. Cool Guy, you know... Whatever, living on top of a mansion and on top of a hill. Alright? I get it. You know, the alpha and the omega.

Whatever this is. The Titanic song threw me! You fucked it up, alright? I don't know how to talk over the fucking Titanic song. Look. You know, you gotta go to therapy about your fucking dad, bro. Shut the fuck up. It's not about my dad. Shut up. Hahahaha

Stop arguing with people online! Argue with people who don't pay us money! If somebody's being a shithead to me, I might be a shithead back. Why is that so bad? Alright, but look, I got it. If it's really aggravating you- when a guy says, hey Vito, you're a fat piece of shit, and I go, fuck you, like is that okay? Yeah. Okay. So I obviously don't get it 100%. I don't know what I'm allowed to do. Like is that okay? Yeah Okay

So I obviously don't get it 100% I don't know what I'm allowed to do can't say I'm figuring it out can't say I'm gonna rape your Girlfriend you can't say there's really I said that one time. There's no refund immediately walked it back Okay, let's be clear when you do 200 episodes of a podcast you might occasionally make a joke look Listen, this is what I call a black guy the N-word two fucking episodes ago? Sometimes you fuck up. No, that was funny.

Sometimes you fuck up. Nah, that was funny. Okay, well sometimes it's funny, and sometimes it's not funny. You can say whatever you want to black people. You can't say you're gonna rape a woman. Get the fuck out of here. Sometimes you go a little,

you try to make a joke and you fuck up. I, it's gonna happen. You don't think you have like, you don't think you like try to fucking throw your weight around and on people that you lose arguments with like you don't think that you're like just crashing out of a superkiller and telling people to go fuck them no I really don't think I'm I really don't think I'm crashing out over superkill I think I'll just like talk of vetoes crashing out is like nuts I don't get it what am I crashing out about when people go hey this page and super killer sucks

I go you just don't get it fucking speech like a retarded speech That's crashing out which you interrupted with the fucking thing cuz look look I Genuinely look this is why this is nuts This is now you can't be calling people's wives for any reason Nuts. This is nuts. Bro, you can't be calling people's wives for any reason. Understood. Okay.

You can't be cancelling live shows. You can't be cancelling live shows like- I'm not cancelling live shows. That's not happening. But, message received. Regardless. Mmhmm. I don't know why we keep going back to, again, two seconds. I called Patrick Melton and I said, I'm being stupid.

You're right. Sometimes I'm gonna be stupid. Here's what I'm gonna ask for. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Bro, I hate to tell you this, we do the show. Part of the show is Vito doesn't have a curtain on his fucking bathroom, Vito molested a cat with a Q-tip. I'm not 100% there, okay? What the fuck are you talking about? I'm a little fucking, sum up here is not 100% the way the rest of the world lives their life. Yeah.

So, so can you understand that when I do things, it's not out of malice and spite and trying to hurt you? I think that's where the disconnect is. No, you're like, okay, listen, you can't have a broken brain and say that you like, you understand what I'm thinking. You don't even understand what you are thinking. Don't tell me it's not out to hurt me.

But I'm saying- It's just a fucking pain in the ass. It's just not what we're dealing with. It's just not worth dealing with. When I go, oh my god, I haven't been able to reach Dick for a week. Oh, I'll call the person who lives with him. No dude, never do that. Never do that. Will you let me make my fucking point? The point is that I'm not doing it.

You seem to think it's like Vito's trying to hurt me. Vito's a bad guy. See, this is what I mean. You have a broken brain. You can't tell me a healthy brain what I'm thinking. This is your problem. This is your problem. It's always just like, this is what's happening, but it's not. That's not what's happening.

I assumed you would be home. I couldn't reach you. Yes, and then that's too bad. Then don't reach me. Well, we were about to do a real big live show, and I was trying to figure out what was going on with the show. What was going on is you losing an argument with Riley, and you trying to fucking throw your weight around. What argument?

Okay, I lost. I don't know what argument I lost, but I'll accept it. Getting blown out. That was the argument you lost. Getting fucking blown out. I'm blown out. I'm eternally owned. Yeah, you are.

Stop, man. You got fucking blown out. I understand that you believe I got blown out. Yeah. I understand that. Blown out. I think you think I'm a bad guy, and that's what I'm worried about. I just think you give in to compulsions.

I mean, I just think you have no willpower. Oh, what do you- Is that wrong? You human baracoid! I think we all- I think we all have compulsions, okay? Now it's a wee problem! Now it's a fucking wee problem! You like to drink- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA I like yeah, oh He froze he froze

He's fucking stumped Yeah, you need a therapist dude. You need a therapist. I'm not getting a therapist well you need one I mean, I don't give a shit, but you need one. I don't need one. I know what's wrong with me and What is a lot of things? What's the top three? I? Deep dissatisfaction with the state of the world. What's the state of the world? What do you mean? Just it's just a mess man. I'm not gonna get into it. It's great. We're getting rid of all the Mexicans It's fucking beautiful. I really don't think getting rid of all the Mexicans is the solution to our problems problems getting rid of the fucking Mexicans

look, uh I feel like when we talk to each other It's not that bad. Yeah, I feel like the most I feel like the most dangerous thing Yeah, is when? Here's the thing You hate me online. I get it Everybody does veto on Twitter if you don't want to read it if you don't discord all you see is typing words snarky Asshole, I'm very bad at

typing words, snarky asshole. I'm very bad at typing in a way that doesn't make me come across like a complete jackass. But you're doing it aggressively. What do you mean come across? Like you antagonize people directly all the time. I'm just very cold the way I type. I mean, like, yeah, it's like maybe standoffish sometimes and cocky, but like-

No, no, no, no, no. It's not standoffs and cocky. It's like antagonizing and sarcastic. But it's usually antagonizing someone who's antagonizing me all day long, I get people going, hey you fat piece of shit. Yeah, you're famous though, retard. Like that's their right.

So what, okay, then I can go fuck you. Like I do that all the time, but half the time you like it. You used to like it when I was doing it to the right people when I told other people to go fuck themselves, you're not good, fuck those guys. To the right people. It's great to people who are not paying us. It's absolutely wonderful Okay, if a guy pays me money, he doesn't get that's not a Ticket to come on my Twitter and go hey fat. So fuck you whatever. I might go. Yeah fuck I do No, you sit in discords arguing with them all day you sit in

Everyone's fucking retards. They're all blocked. Oh, they're all blocked. Okay Have they been fighting with anybody in discord? You didn't tell me to block them for a year. I don't know I did Okay, I didn't realize that me arguing with people in the Discord was gonna get to the point where it's like, I can't- Well that's why you canceled Hackamania, because of your fucking online arguments. That's not why I canceled Hackamania. Yes it is. And I didn't cancel Hackamania.

Because it led to Riley goofing on you and then you said, I'm done. I'm not doing Hackamania. I know that's how you interpret it. I don't interpret it the same way. Yeah, so you better incorporate that into history, because that's how you interpret it. Yes, you better incorporate that into history because that's what it's going to be. I have incorporated what you believe happened and I understand that is your interpretation of things. I accept that's your interpretation.

And that's the reality. It is your reality. That's what happened. That's what happened. That's what happened. That is what happened to you as far as you can tell. Yeah, see, I mean, this is what I mean. It's just like this constant bullshit snark fast. It's not constant bullshit.

I just don't think I think I have a different series of events in my head and I don't want to relitigate the whole fucking thing. The guy with the broken brain has the correct series of events in his head. Okay. I think I was more intimately connected to what was going on and all the different things that have happened. Yeah, retried stuff was going on. You arguing with Riley.

Well, I'm not arguing with Riley anymore. And then it was Skits O'Shaun. Oh, somebody else. I'm not arguing with, I was not arguing with Skits O'Shaun. That never happened. There was no argument there at all. So that's a completely new thing. Hi, Scraps, how are you doing. There was no argument there at all. So that's a completely new thing. Hi scripts. How you doing?

There was no argument. Why don't you show up with some energy? Show up with energy. That's it You know for the fans how Okay, show up with some energy. How hold on How about How about... get the fucking look off your face. What is this shit? Well, I mean, it's some kind of fucking scam that you're about to... I can hear the fucking sales pitch coming.

Yeah, it is a sales pitch. Can I do a sales pitch? Uh, sure, go for it. Alright, hi. My name is Vito Gisualdi. I've got a very exciting product to sell you, sir. Can I have a minute of your time? Are you talking to me? Yes.

Oh yeah, sure. Fantastic. Can I come into your home? You've got a lovely home here. No, fuck no. Get out of here. Fantastic. Well, I'll just stay here at the door. Nah, for sure. Thank you Vito for not killing yourself. Koof says for two. Shut the fuck up. Stop reading the super chats. I'm watching Mom and Dad Break Up Live.

I'm doing a bit. Let me finish the fucking bit. Mr. Tattoo Charlie for two. You complete me dick. MK Minimal for five. I don't know what you guys are on about. I'm having a blast. Yeah.

Acaro for 14 for 10. And just like that the show is fucking hilarious again. Thanks for the Titanic bit. Citizen Johnny Rico for two. Omega Omega. I ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha separate business and personal life. Justin Rolland for two, to the please be patient, I have autism, have fun. Jacob W. Gamer for two, Vito, I started going to therapy because I realized I relate to you too much.

Wow, I bet that's true. Gigglewarp. I have fun at therapy, man. I'm too smart for it. It's a real problem. Okay. I already know what they're gonna say. Gigglewarp for five.

Too smart, I'm too smart for therapy to work. MK go work for five, Veto don't use dick as a therapist I'm too smart for therapy to work MK Minimal for two, don't get blown out, get blown in Boof Time Veto Authent for two, I pay for drama Not therapy, this is boring Shoebox Kingdom for five, Veto you're great and we love you But this whole episode is pure second hand embarrassment for you

Please stop crashing out so hard I don't care, I don't care This is not crashing out, will you guys stop saying crashing out You're crashing out, Veto Just cause you learned the stop crashing out so hard. I don't care. I don't care. This is not crashing out Will you guys stop saying crashing out? Just cuz you learned the term crashing out every two seconds I get How many times did you say that you were the talent in the last year how many times have you intimated not nearly enough Hold on wait. Do you think I'm so when I say What do you think I'm saying? When I say that, do you think I'm saying you're not the talent? No.

What do you think I mean when I'm saying I'm the talent? How many times have you said it? I have no idea. What do you think that means? What do you think that means? How many times have you said it and under what circumstances have you said it? Three times, I believe. Oh, you're way, I think have you said it in hoot what under what circumstances have you said three times?

I believe oh You're way. I think if you've said it. I think you've said it way way way more times than that I Don't think I'm sure somebody can make a supercut how many you know how many times have you said that I Searched I just said three yeah, I just said three I gave you an estimate Well, I'll tell you what I think I think I think you say that shit is a joke and eventually It becomes cope and you start to believe it. You start acting like- Oh, I'm not saying it is a joke. I think you're saying that is a joke, but I think if I think one of these days you're gonna forget.

No, I'm not joking! What do you- wait, what do you think it means when I say I'm the talent? Why is that negative to you? Oh, I, uh... You realize you're also the talent, right? We're the talent. No. We are nothing. I am not the talent, nor would I ever... That's just a fucking show business term for the comedian the performer

That's the talent. You're not in show business, dude. This is not This is literally show business. This is not show business, bro. This is Microphone this is not show business comedy. This is not entertainment veto. I Think it is losers with a microphone Scraping for cash the bottom of the barrel begging for money busking That's what this is are in the top 50 fucking super chatty shows on YouTube We have a top 200 podcasts on patreon. This is a as much here's here's here's a I'm not gonna get too

into it but you're delulu brown we're delulu there's very few guys who are as blessed as we are I don't know why you think of this as small potatoes to me this this is huge well I said what I I said what I had to say Okay, anything else my pitch. Yeah. Hold on. I was doing I was doing a whole bit. Here's my pitch. We got a great show It's called the biggest problem in the universe and It's had its ups it's had its downs, but here's my here's my pitch to you I want to recommit to this show for a period of time. We can figure out what that period of time is.

We do the best fucking show we can do. We go balls to the wall. High energy. Bits. Maybe a guest here or there. Whatever. We go balls to the wall. High energy. Bits. Maybe a guest here or there. Whatever. I'm not doing guests now. Fuck guests. I'm not doing guests. I'm fucking sick of guests. Okay, I got you. Don't get hung up on the fucking guests. And we don't gotta do it now, because let's be clear.

You're a new dad. We put it off. Whatever. I think we got something good. I think we got something good. I think we had something great. I think it went off the rails. I wanna do what I can to get it back on the rails. I'm not going to therapy, that's not part of it. But I will not fight. That being said, if you see me do something

and you go, hey Vito, that constitutes fighting. Don't like, I'll try my best. I don't want 100, I'll try my best. I don't want to, I'm trying my best. Who are you talking to? You! I'm not saying you're doing some shit online. I don't give a shit.

I want to do, I think we have- What are you talking about? Okay, look. Is this the closing of a book or the start of a new chapter? Bro, you fucking need therapy. Like, I have- Will you stop saying- You are so-

I don't need therapy. You are so needy. You are so needy. I mean, it's like you need some kind of a win. Something. You can say, I got it, I got that, I got it, I can take it, I can take it home with me. Bro, I don't need a win, I just want to

have some very simple conversation about the show. No, I'm not having a conversation with you about shit, it's a waste of time. It's not a waste of time, we have a big show, we should be like, I don't know why you're trying to talk me out of it, like, why don't you go you're trying to talk me out of it. Why don't you go outside and talk a rock into moving?

There's... Dude, look at me. Look at my head. There is zero chance you're going to affect what's in my head at all. I don't give a fuck about anything you're saying. You have no idea what's in my head. You don't even know what's in your head. You're right. I really don't. You know nothing, Jon Snow. What are you talking about?

You don't know where I've been, Lou. So then, so then, so say to me, Vito, whatever we're doing, we're just on a flat road and we'll see what happens. Because that's what it sounds like. Vito, whatever we're doing on a flat road, and we'll see what happens.

Okay. I will treat it like a flat road. I'll come in, I'll hit my mark, I'll bring some energy. No, you have to bring energy though. You have to bring energy. Like, seriously. I'm gonna really try my best. Nah, you gotta really. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahh and buying stuff, buying stuff, and then making money on it at some point in the future. When I have energy, when I'm putting on the best show ever,

it's because I'm excited about the show. Who cares? That's what- Be excited anyway. It's a job. No one gives a fuck about your mental state. Show up and act like it. Get your fucking life together. Get your act together. Okay. You're here to make money. I will. Not to be, not to have your ego stroked. Grow up. It's not about having my ego stroked. I just don't know why we can't have fun.

Have an exciting show. I'm having a great time. I don't know why you're not having fun. I just, cause I don't know what's going on All right, well You need to go to therapy brow. I'm not going to therapy stop saying You need to go to therapy, bro. I'm not going to therapy. Stop saying that. Why do I... Why do I gotta go to therapy? Because your brain's all fucked up. What is fucked up about my brain?

I don't know. You don't know what's coming or going. You got way too much invested in like a comedy show, in a podcast. It's all... The things you're saying are all fucked up. So, okay. So I mean, I guess that's where the disconnect is. Is that I look at this thing and I mean, I guess that's where the disconnect is, is that I look at this thing and I go, this is a big exciting thing. Right. And you don't, right?

No, now you're just making this shit. This is why you need therapy, because to understand things, you have to like, pervert it and invert it and say weird shit back that I didn't say. All right, I didn't say I don't care about it, I said, you have all this weird shit wrapped into a comedy show that you shouldn't be there, like validation of yourself. It's fucked up. Vito, just say, uh, Mike Hunt for two. Vito, just say I'm sorry you feel that way. The Monkey Bros for two. You mad Vito, you mad, you mad, you mad Vito.

Spider Returnal for two. The guy crashing out says he's not crashing out. Jalaitis Rue for two. Vito is Costanza. It's like a complete crash out. And his side cult is a horror show. Rhinoxes for two. Vito, top 50 buskers.

Authum for two. This is talent. JVC for two. Vito has narcissistic personality disorder. Manny Musket for five. Dick's had a 20 plus comedy career. Vito's had a couple funny YouTube videos. Who's better perspective on the show is. Spider Returnal for five, Vito, stop arguing the

internet, stop arguing the internet, stop arguing the internet, stop arguing the internet, stop arguing the internet, Giga Warp for two, Dick, do you regret giving him an IP share? No, because the IP doesn't mean anything. Podcasts are just between people. The name's totally irrelevant. That was the joke from the beginning the name Yeah, I don't I don't think people get that the show doesn't do you The show is I mean I guess you could do a version of the show without me I guess I could do a version to show that you but it wouldn't be the same yours would suck though. I Don't think so. I mean didn't you try it with that Tuesday Night Gryff thing?

No, that was a totally different fucking thing and I didn't, I never found a good- But it didn't work. Cause I didn't find a good stable of guys. I gotta find the right guys. What about Corn Boys? You tried that, it didn't work. Now, Corn Boys is gonna be good. Yeah.

But we just gotta get the idea out of here. I'm the one who does this over and over and over though. I make successful podcasts over and over and over right Yeah Me Maddox me and Sean mean you mean Johnny. I got a hundred percent track record. That's what I'm saying That's what Manny Musket's is saying Yeah, okay, maybe you're the maybe you're the Howard Stern, you know I'm just saying his number is...

Bup bup bup bup bup. Hit, hit, hit, hit. I've had successful podcasts. Hahahaha! You can't even say that I make hits? You can't even say that I make hits? What the fuck is wrong with you? You need a fucking psychiatrist! You can't even say that I make hits podcasts! I obviously do! If I had the archives of Violence Island, you'd say, You can't even say that I make hits podcasts, I obviously do!

If I had the archives of Violence Island you'd say well that's a pretty good podcast right there, Violence Island. Somebody has those episodes. Oh, Matt C88 says I'm blocked from Super Chat. Fucking amazing. Amazing. How can you be blocked from Super Chat? Cause you blocked everybody when you threw a fit a year ago.

Well then how did he send a fucking Super chat he said that in the chat i just read it in the chat you can't chat you can't be blocked from super chats and be able to chat that's not a thing you're either blocked or you're not sorry matt you heard it here you're not blocked something's wrong with your credit card yeah okay Yeah. Okay. Vita, Spider Returnal for two. Vita, you absolutely need therapy for real, bro. I will never go to therapy. And that's the bottom line. Why? There's no point.

Why? I'm going to talk to a lady who goes, yeah, you fuck around and then you die. What am I gonna do? Yeah, but you're always begging your friends to call you and work things out. I mean you're clearly like seeking conversation and human contact. No No, what do you mean? Okay, you're not insinuating yourself with conversations ever? I'm not trying to have conversations with you. You're not calling them over and over saying, let's talk about this, let's go to dinner and talk this out.

You're not ever saying that kind of stuff? I've sent you, I sent you a email and I said, Hey, I don't really know. You don't need to explain it, just say no. I mean, what's explaining it gonna do? I don't understand why we can't go to dinner. Me and you? Cause I don't have why we can't go to dinner. Me and you? Yeah. Because I don't have a weeknight.

I don't want to, number one, and I also don't have the time to waste going to dinner with you. Or spend going to dinner with you. So you would not enjoy going to dinner with me? I would probably enjoy it, but I don't want to do it. Okay. Well, that's good to know. At least I know that you would have a good time. See what I mean?

Well, I mean Here's My fear is that any interaction with me is just like you want to get out of it as quickly as you can that you don't want to can't tolerate me that I'm intolerable well I mean at some point yeah because it's like just internet shit I don't want to be around

that crap okay you know so if veto becomes a more taller veto needs to become a more tolerable person no No, I didn't say that. I said I don't want to go to dinner. It feels like being around me, being near me, having to talk to me is... Bro, you need real friends. You need real people that aren't this internet shit. I have Dirk, the corn boy. Yeah, but you tried to turn that into internet shit. Do you see how fucked up that is? I we want to make content. It's fun guys like to make stuff with their buddies

Okay Okay, I got a million things I gotta do I gotta make friends I got it in the meantime I got it. In the meantime... You're right. I do worry about annoying people. And I don't want to annoy you. Yeah, but you are super annoying. So I will try my best to not annoy you.

I got it. I gotta figure out how to be less annoying. Okay. And I've heard what will make me less annoying to you and I will work on it. Why? If you think of any- if you think of any- cause I- cause I value- shut the fuck up! I know you- and I- look, I don't know how much of it is performative and joke- None of this is performative! I have a fucking family! I don't give a shit about this online stuff! I know, I know, I know, okay, I'm not talking about online stuff.

That's what this is! Bro, I have spent three years at your house once a week. I know your family, I know your dog, I know your friends. You don't know my family? You've come over for parties, you don't know my fucking family? You're right, I don't know your family. No, I am right, you don't know these people people you come over for fucking get-togethers. What are you talking about man? I'm not trying to say I know them intimately Well, then why are you saying it? Why are you saying it?

Cuz I'm just making a broad generic point. I know you're gonna hammer in on that and when I say family I mean also your wife Okay, I don't know why you would say these things. It's insane What is insane about it? I know my family Why would you say these things I know where they sleep you need real friends dude You just you you need therapy and you need real friends and you got to stop fucking Wrapping your validation up in this online shit It's totally crazy. I'm not look. I'm saying is it's exhausting

It's not I'm doing it for the fans, but it's exhausting. Like I'm sure they understand why it's totally intolerable. I Don't even know what we're talking about right now I don't even know what we're talking about right now. You've been a part of my life. Thank you very much and God bless America. Buy the shirt if you kill yourself. Buy the shirt. Make sure you buy the shirt. That's what it's there for. Alright, goodbye everybody. Go to patreon.com slash biggest problem. We'll see you next time.