The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 198

Episode Date: August 9, 2025

just click it it fucking worked just click it worked the sign worked let's do it uh fuck back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back you're muted

oh shit there we go no I'm not how about now how about now hey dick biggest problem in the universe welcome to the biggest problem Welcome to the biggest problem of the universe

Wait, what? Your audio clips so bad when you shout. Yeah, turn your game down. Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe. The only show that ranks every problem in the universe from babies on TV to prices you don't pay. That's pretty good, tame. Answer, Rydog.

From Willi Ding's, from Down syndrome Heroes Horizon to unlisted tequila debt prizen? What is that? Arisen to prison. Say it again? What does that have to do with prison? What? I hear your fan too, I think. Obtus, fetishizing high-speed trains to pretending retarded kids have super brains.

That's a good one from Obtuce Stone. I'm your hostick-Mashson. Joining me, as always, is Fido Juswoldy. How you doing? Is this using the right microphone? Did I change microphones? I don't know. I did. I did. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what happened.

How about now? How about now? Can you hear me now? Do that yelling shit that you did This is a much better This should be much better That's great That's great Yes I had the wrong mic input Sorry

That's okay I am so happy to be back On one of the internet's most beloved podcast We got a lot of We got a lot of free advertising This week We did get a lot of free advertising All these suckers fell for it

You know why All those suckers always fall for our classic Destiny is the biggest schmuck of them all Falling for it. He's such a fucking sucker. Guys, the point is this is a show about love. And that's all it is. It's just a lot of love.

There aren't enough therapists in the world for Destiny's comment section. Oh, my God. Destiny, don't clip my fucking show. Come on the show. He hasn't been on the show in a million years. No, clip the show. If he's going to use us to get tens of thousands of views, the least you could do.

is call in. We haven't seen him in like two years. It's too high pressure to talk to Destiny because he makes me look stupid. It's too much. It's too high pressure for me. I can't take it right now. Yeah, but now we got a lot of shit to lord over him, like being sued by a bunch of women and shit. We didn't have that before. What do you mean? I'm saying like, you know, before it was like Destiny's the king of the castle or whatever. Yeah. And now it's like, yeah, he's got a couple foibles of himself. He's sexting or whatever.

You got to say it like this. You got to say it like this. Because Destiny's getting sued by a bunch of ladies. And then I say, I don't see any ladies like that. We love destiny. I do love destiny. Too mean to our good friend. He was really concerned. He really wants, uh...

Wait, I'm not being mean at all. What are you talking about? I know, I know. I'm saying, though, he loves this show as a lot of people do. Because he just, he's fascinated by, you know, humanity. He's fascinated by it, and he loves to pick it apart and analyze it. Because he's sick. He's sick.

That's why I like women so much. much. Well, the dynamic that we have, let's be clear, you know. Most shows are just, you know, a bunch of guys agreeing with each other and jerking each other off. Yeah. We introduce real human, like Carl and all his crew, just jacking each other off and agreeing with each other all the time.

Carl was fantastic on Weight Watchers. Oh, yes, you have a new show. You knew, like, bonus whenever I feel like it, I don't know, kind of show. Yeah. I got so much fat content. need to. Well, everybody loves you and Taylor. Taylor from P.K.A. is one of the internet's podcasting treasures. He's, he, um, he and Tony from Hacked the movies. It's not enough. Have maybe the two biggest heads in, uh, the internet, I think. The big head boys. The big head boys. B. HBs, as

I call them. Yeah, the BHBs. Um, okay, I forgot. You got to do more with Taylor. I was going to get Taylor to play magic cards. It still might happen. A lot of things have been getting Shuffled around. Yeah. You just got to do it. And I'm going to, you know, once you're done with the baby stuff and the fact that there's a seething, unsettling hatred of me, maybe we'll play magic cards with Taylor sometime. That would be fun.

I don't have time to play magic cards with... I know. That's what I'm saying later. Later. You would... You're at some point... Somebody... Yeah, what?

The kid's going to be asleep. You're going to go, I wish I had... I wish I was playing some magic cards. No. Buddha. Okay. I don't think so. That's something a, that's somebody who had kids in their 20s gets to say when they turned 30. When you have kids in your 40s and you turn 50, you're not saying I got to spend my last 20 years of life playing magic cards. It's not your last 20 years. It's hanging out with the guys. It's hanging out with the boys.

I don't want to hang out with the boys. I know your version of hanging out with the boys is laughing at fat women, but there's other ways to enjoy time with the boys. I enjoy time with my family That's what I... Okay, here's the... Here's the problems from last week. Babies and movies, TV shows. Yeah.

There you go. Yeah. Not showing... Not showing drink prices. Yeah. Which is apparently... You know, sometimes I look at my list of problems and I go, how come I never did that one?

And then people in the comments go, you did. And I go, oh, I guess that's why it was on my list. Those people are the fucking worst. Well, to be clear It's been a while since you got me My original problem was no menu prices This specifically focused on drinks

So little different Why don't you just blow your brains out? You got to probably I did it before Who fucking cares? Fuck you Yeah, you're gonna get some overlap You know what you guys come up with When you're in charge of it? Waiting to stoplight, traffic

Traffic waiting to stoplight Stoplights waiting to stoplights people who can't drive Traffic. That's what you're come up with there's I do come up I do have to avoid doing traffic problems because we've done so many but they're at the audience not you you yeah well I'm just saying in general that's what they like it they like the trash and they always complain they go you do did another food problem and then they love the food problem they love it so what you fucking want well they want you to feel bad about it also saying

retarded kids are superheroes that was third and high speed trains fetishists Yeah, that was the last problem Everybody wants a high-speed train, I guess Joe Bob says Your Hitler Harry is great Yeah You're Hitler Harry I think that was you

You're Hitler Harry See, yeah I maintain that it's a white supremacist narrative Well then what are the Voldemort's Voldemort? Voldemort is like India Well hold on, what's Voldemort trying to do

kill all the muzzles He's like He's like the Who came before Who was fighting Hitler to be Hitler Actually Voldemort's like Israel He's trying to wipe out Everybody that's not

Them Yeah They're a small But very motivated group Of wizards Something involving Jews Is going on Harry Potter

It's hard to exactly nail it down But there's some Nazi Jewish something going on in there And J.K. Rowling knows it. They don't really cover who started it. I mean, there you go. There's dad kind of. Okay. Jobbott says, Walking Dead kept the baby alive in the show,

even though it dies in the comic and it ruined the entire show. Yeah, because it's nothing else when there's a baby in the show. Pacific Noodle says, my heart will go on in the middle of that made me spit my drink out laughing. Say what you will. Dick truly has an ear for comedy. I wish I could remember who I stole that from. When you were giving your speech, somebody said, I set you up masterfully every time.

Yeah, somebody said, Dick should play... I set them up, you knock them down. Dick should play the... You also got a copyright claim on that episode. Sorry, go ahead. It was worth it. That was worth it. And then some piece of shit said that I'm a hypocrite

for crying about copyright after playing that. I'm like, bro... Sometimes we just have fun, guys. What are you doing, man? Sometimes we just have fun. Slickford for four said, bonus episode, biggest problem and biggest problem. Let's vote on these problems.

you two have with each other. No. No, that's gay. Funny comment, though. Grimm's decadent says, I never even bought Superkiller and even I feel scammed at this point. Cullochs. As you should,

but... Wait, didn't you say this week is the comic? Oh, wow. This is all the... Oh, look at that page. That's a good one. Yeah, I'm just getting notes to the letterer, And then a digital version will be delivered to everybody

and followed by a campaign update that lets you guys know what's going down. Culloch says, what an oddly cathartic episode. Captain Cheese says my Patreon renewed on the first. If this was the last episode, I'll go to Vito's house and get my money back. Come on, get your money. You're going to have to sell a lot of consoles on you there.

Joshua Perry says, I can't wait for Wang to come. cover this how a comic book ruined a career Rewind a career What Jawa says Fucking downers man Jesus Christ Oh I have to read the comments

Jawa says this might be the only episode I ever watched twice I'm only I didn't even bring in that bad of comments Political plural Every episode it's like oh it's the other of the world It's the end of everything for the love of fucking God Yes It is I know everything is over Political pluralist says this is potentially the stupidest situation I've ever seen

LMAO, Jake Rawls Says, I've been a Patreoni since day one But I canceled my subscription You haven't lost me as a listener yet But you all gotta figure this... Is that the guy who He left a big crybaby comment saying I liked a tweet that called Vito a pedophile

And then he blocked me But I liked the tweet calling him a pedophile by accident I don't know why I should be punished for an accident Yeah, why should he? Like, I gotta keep track of which guys are liking People's likes I think you used Well I think this was back when you could see likes

So there was like some tweet that's like Hey you know that Vito guy He's a fucking he rapes kids or whatever And a guy who'd been following me forever was like Oh like I like that one I'm like this guy And then he's all ass blast You should have known

You should have known Dude if you're fucking liking shit calling me a pedophile I assume you're not like my buddy How do you not know Jake Rawls Was it Jake Rawls? Was he the one? Yeah, he was the one. But he says you haven't lost him as a listener yet.

You've got to figure it out or you will. Oh, I will figure out how to lose him. It'll happen. Let's see. More guys getting blocked. Trucks me shirts. Bazookas says I wanted a refund, but thanks to this episode, I found out my 3X pack isn't able to be refunded.

If I wanted a stupid lunchbox, I wouldn't be in this mess. Yeah, that's true, buddy, I guess. Sorry that that happened to you. Richard, I appreciate the meta-joke about the show being a baby now. Yeah, it wasn't a meta-joke. I didn't get there. I don't really like to do those types of jokes. I like, you know, pie in the face.

Sometimes we do a good meta-joke. I don't. I only do straightforward right on the surface. Corey, oh, okay. That's one. Back, back, back. Patrick Bell says, holy shit, Vita, fix your audio. I think it sounds good today.

When you get loud, it's a little... I was using the wrong mic to start the show. Dynamite Prod said this episode reminds me of Mac and Dennis when they moved to the suburbs. It reminded me that, too. I had the same exact thought. I didn't see that episode. Okay. Negative, negative, negative, negative, negative.

I saw a lot of positive, too. Are Destiny's fans getting paid by the word over there? They're just... I mean, they're writing novels. man, they all want to be little philosophers. They all want to be him. Why you say little like that? Okay, they all want to be big philosophers.

I don't fucking know. But if you look at all these guys who are like the philosopher guys on YouTube, they all started off as Destiny's guys and then like made a power play. So like Vosch was a destiny guy, that

Jay Stickalick guy was a destiny guy, Mr. Girl was a destiny guy, kind of. That's what he's like a Jesus for them. Like they hang out with him and then they've tried to fuck them over. It's like it's Plato and Socrates fighting over a pretzel in the town square, which is a scenario I just invented that's not based on anything. I don't fucking know.

Everybody wants to be the biggest brain in the fucking room. It's really a different neighborhood. Like I went over to Destiny watching us and read some of those comments. I'm like, I'm not in Kansas anymore. This is a very different place. There's a feeling that I have here. There's a lot of psychoanalysis going on over here, and I don't like it. There's been a lot of armchair psychologists.

Mani Muskitts wants to be my therapist now. Are you going to take him up on that? Is Mani Muskets a qualified therapist? He's not a woman, so yes. It's true. And he is a black, so we would know, like, cool street coping mechanisms that I could use. You know, like, if a guy's giving you a guff, you know, you just, you know, shuck them. So maybe that would be helpful.

Maybe I need a, like, a magic negro, like in the movies. Like, like, Bagger Vance. Yeah. Yeah, maybe Manny Muskets could be my Bagger Vance. For you. I need an N-word Vance. You need a more powerful Bagger Vance. N-word Nate.

He's a, he's a good. Um, I think you have to keep Vance or else it doesn't. Well, you lose Bagger? Well, you chance. change bagger the N-word. You can't change both. Because then you're just saying... Then it's a reference at least.

You're not just calling someone the N-word. He's not calling a guy N-word name. Yeah, that's not related to the movie at all. At all. No, see, Vito, I was making a club of wordplay. You just called the guy the N-word. I think it works. I think it's there.

Okay, do you have any voted up? I do. All right, hold on. Okay, whenever you want. Uh, yeah. Hey, welcome to Voted Up. Voted up. Vote it up.

I'll kill your whole family. Voted up. Dito's gap will never be seen. Voted up. There is a place you need to go. Voted up. All the biggest fun and the show. Oh.

Come on, guys. Don't, don't give us this AI shit. This is highest a kite. You could have easily sung that into your phone. You could have easily sung that yourself. I want a real human being. I want a real human being speaking to me. Imperfections in all.

Okay. Go ahead. Well, guys, welcome to vote it up where we talk about what's going on and how it relates to everyone's favorite podcast dick. From episode 93, do you remember the problem of food going bad? Uh, no. Was that mine? What had gone bad?

No, that was mine? Just like the idea that you get food, you want to eat it. And then the food is then rotten and spoiled and you hate it. They got way too much. Yeah, it's the worst. And it's like you're just throwing your money away. That's the worst part. Well, I mean, we have people trying to solve the problem.

But these goddamn activists keep fucking with us. Michelle Pfeiffer. Is that you talking about? Well, no, not fat. I mean, I'm sure they're fuck with us as well. But on Thursday, Michelle Pfeiffer took to Instagram. to slam appeal. An FDA-approved food technology funded by Microsoft billionaire Bill Gates.

Dick, have you seen appeal? What's appeal? Like a banana peel? Well, it's the idea that you get the fruit, right? Normally the fruit goes bad. Yes. But now they have a plant-based edible layer that the globalists supply to the outside of the fruit, so it makes it last longer.

No, I don't want that. I don't want that on any fucking fruit. You already got it. A chemical? What are you talking about a chemical that you put on fruit? A peel coating is an invisible barrier on the product produces surface made from lipids and glyso lipids. Fats naturally found the peel seed and pulp of plants. And this awful Michelle Fiver is telling Bill Gates to stop protecting our fruit.

I mean, what is she doing here? Yeah. Fuck Bill Gates, though. Don't you think? Like, does anybody believe his ass? His mosquito shit didn't work. This is probably going to fuck up bananas, too. Whatever it is.

Well, hold on. Do you want to see how it works real quick? Yeah, sure. Okay, hold on. Let me see if I can share this with you. What does it look like? Share screen. It's a protect.

It looks like wax on the fruit. That's gross. Do poor people have to eat it? Do poor people? have to eat it. Is it for poor people? Like, because they can't shop organic. I mean, I could, I could see him like, uh, maybe poor people have to eat it. Maybe they're forcing it on the poor. Yeah. Okay. Look this. Appeal starts with sent by these guys. An outer layer that keeps moisture in while allowing the plant to breathe. The cuticle layer, plants evolutionary defense

against drying out or rotting. It's in every bite of fruit we eat. And every bit of it we toss. No, I don't want that. We reinforce the plant's natural defenses. They're just reinforcing the natural defenses. Yeah, they re-enforce democracy. Look at this, without it on, the banana turns brown naturally. But with this weird plastic on it, it stays perfect forever.

It never turned into rotting. This is good. This is what we want. Is there more? No, okay. I mean, it's just pictures of fruit. Enjoy fruits and vegetables at their freshness. How many pictures of fruit did they need to show?

To make the point. I mean, it kind of is a point. I really like strawberries. Throw on a strawberry. It's a lot. Wait, how many pictures of fruits do they have? Let's see. Can you put it on your penis?

I wonder what else you could use it for. I wonder what else it would protect against. Anyway, this is the new thing that all the... Not having cancer. It protects against not having cancer. cancer. Yeah, this is the new thing all the conspiracy theorists are convinced is going to get microchips

into our food and microplastics and whatever else. I think it's fun. I think it's fun. We should do it. Well, you go buy it then. I don't want this shit all over my food. I think I will. I don't care. Who cares? Fuck it. If it makes the banana last longer, I'm into it. Do they put it on pizza?

I don't think you can put it on I think it's made out of like, you know, the same fats and whatever that are in the actual fruit. So, it's like just adding an extra layer of fruit. Now, you can't put it on pizza.

It's extra fruit? Why don't you just eat the peel then? No, it's extra, it's extra, like, skin. It's like an extra coating. Can you put it on a person? Maybe you could put it, I don't know. Can you put it on an Asian lady's face? There's a lot of things you can do.

The point is that Michelle Pfeiffer and all these crybaby activists are trying to make our food rot and I think we need to live in the future, guys. We all need to embrace appeal. Okay. Wait, that was food going bad? Okay. That was food going bad.

Currently, number 165 with 387 upvotes. Don't you get to vote it up? Now, Dick, here's one I think you'll like. All right. This is from episode 155. This was a problem that you took credit for, but I want to say it was kind of a joint problem. Sure.

It's the problem of Ah, hell nah. Yeah. So the idea that every modern media property, for some reason, needs a fat black woman. Bro, wait. How about this? How about African-American psycho? A reboot? Instead of...

And you know, when they do the business cars, Patricia Bate Man goes, oh, hell no! And she sees the car, like, I'd like to see your... She gets out her business card. She's just going, oh, hell no. Oh, hell no. Oh, damn. Laudy. God damn.

Yeah, she puts out her business card and it's like got cash app shit all over it. And then like she's like, well, let's see, let's see your card. That fucking other guy or the lady puts Cheniquo whatever puts hers out. She's like, oh hell no. Eyes bug out. That would be a good

movie, don't you think? She's in the hotel room and the door dash person knocks and goes, did you just report that you didn't get your food? She's like, shut up, bitch. She slams the door. And she goes in the shower. And she goes in the shower. and she gets horrifically murdered.

No, it's DoorDash. Instead of dead bodies, it's DoorDash bags like filling up a whole apartment and then she comes back and she's like, ah,

what my, looking around, like, where my, where my Chitlin's at or whatever they're, whatever those, they're in those things,

you know? Yeah, they're door dashing a lot of Chitlins. What is it? Chitlin. What's a Chitlin? The Chilin is a, it's pig intestine.

Ugh. Oh, hell no. I believe it might be fried. It could be stewed. I'm not sure how they prepare it. It's right. Well, Dick, the, uh, the first trailer for Peacock's spinoff of the office, the paper is here, uh, moving from, uh, talking about a local town newspaper in Toledo, Ohio. This is going to be a comedy, fuck off, sitcom. Yeah,

and, uh, real quick, I'd love to show you the cast of this show. Let me see. Is this the right one? Now, I don't know if you can see this, but we have a delightful cast of characters here. There's a white man with a suit and tie and inability to zoom in for some reason. And for a couple white

guys, black guy, Oscars off the side because they're throwing it. I don't know if you can see this lady who, even in the poster, has her arms crossed. Oh, hell no. She's looking at all of Whitey. And you're like, even for the poster,

you couldn't have Yeah, like just, why is everybody all smiling and like, everything just kind of have this normal thing. She's looking at Whitey going, oh, bloody this paper, this newspaper, I don't know what I'm going to do with that. So, uh, this is, uh, Jordan Peel should have make a new scary movie called, oh, hell, nah. Wouldn't that be great? It's, uh, it's really becoming crazy that every project has this now. An angry black woman? Yeah, here, let me zoom on her a little bit

Oh, hell no This one's even got a fucking nose ring And crazy hair shit She's got her glitter boots raised up Like everyone else is just kind of like chilling looking around And she's going How is this not like offensive black face?

This is way worse than like Al Jolston This is bad for black representation At this point Yeah Like every black woman's got to be a fat, Sassy black lady is fed up. It's unrealistic body standards, too.

She's, no black woman could be that skinny that I've seen in it. Look, I've also said this whole, I like the office. I'm a big fan of the office. Part of the reason the office worked was you didn't get a bunch of people

who looked like the writer's room of the show. Like, none of these people look like real people. They're all fucking characters, man. Oh, hell nah. You got the all hell nah lady. You got what I assume is going to be the conservative who goes,

Well, you know, we got to make sure to cover both sides. You got a trans, maybe, I'm not sure. Ah, that's mean. That's mean. It's a beautiful woman. It's a beautiful. I'm sick of this hedging their, I'm sick of guys hedging their bets, saying a woman is trans. Well, if it doesn't have a trans, it shouldn't have a trans.

That would be good. And then for some reason, you got the Nazi guy from Star Wars. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you got General Hux going, oh, I'm just a small town boy running a newspaper. paper okay well anyway I hell not is currently something on a board and I don't have the numbers in front of me but voted up that's the bottom line okay I mean I don't know what you want to watch the trailer or something there's nothing no I don't want to watch I also don't want to well I might try watching because I like the office but it looks

like it's gonna be bad Very good. People are saying he's in stuff other than Star Wars. I don't fucking know. Is he like British, though? I'm tired of British people playing Americans. I should save that problem. Was he in, um, the Revenant?

Was he like Captain, the guy from the Revenant, that guy? The Ginger guy? I like ginger's, because they get written out of everything, you know? Like the ginger. ratio. They got to fight their way back in. Yeah, plus they deserve, they deserve more. Ginger's deserve more for like generations of keeping their, their gingerness pure. You know what I mean? Well, that's not the way to put it, but sure. Well, because they get teased, too. Keeping their pure, like, orange blood. Who teases gin? This whole teasing Ginger's thing is like a

myth. Nah, because they get tons of attention. They get tons, they get tons, they get, they get called out. They get tons of attention because they have red hair. Gingers are the black people of white people because we look at them and we go, I want to touch your hair and your skin is interesting. That's true. Okay. Yeah. So that was it?

That was it. Okay. This is my problem. People who can't take a joke and of course I'm talking about the WNBA. Have you seen what's happening with the WNBA? I almost called this the note funnly. The WNBA is I really was like, I wish I was in a situation where I had access to resources

because we could have got that dildo onto the court and made some money. Why isn't Bill Gates funding a dildo assault on the WNBA right now? An assault. A dildo assault, yeah, to flood the zone, to flood the stadium with dildos. Why isn't the WNBA selling a... Sparks or Lakers or, you know, breast cancer awareness dildos at every game. Why aren't they having dozen dildo night? Why aren't they making it fun?

A little bit. A little bit. A bobblehead. Yeah. Yeah. Get a dildo. Hey, hey, you guys are fucking dildos. Here, buy a WNBA dildo.

And then we'll have a contest in the middle of the game where you can throw dildos on the court to show that you're no better than these women at shooting. In case somebody is listening to this episode in the future. when this news event has been forgotten. Recently, the WNBA has experienced fans throwing colored dildos onto the floor of the game. You can't say what? Colored. Well, they are, okay, dildos of color have been thrown onto the floor.

Okay. 18-year-old Caden Lopez was arrested today for throwing... Arrested. For throwing the dildo. And they say at WNBA star Sophie Cunningham at last night's WNBA game. But that obviously that's bullshit. At how close did it get to her? How close?

I thought it was like on the other side of the court. Yeah, that's why they assumed that he was throwing it at her because it missed by a fucking mile. Because in the WNBA? Yeah. He has been charged with assault and disorderly conduct. Here's a WNBA spokesperson regarding the sex toy incidents. This is what they said to USA Today. The safety of everyone in our arenas remains a top priority.

We are working closely with local and federal law enforcement to pursue all appropriate actions. I hope the feds, I hope Trump told them to go fuck themselves, including arrest and prosecution with felony charges where applicable. Anyone against anyone engaged in this conduct are otherwise involved in sponsoring this record. reckless and unacceptable behavior. Remember the kissing bandit? Morgana, yeah. I watched a clip of her just yesterday. I was jacking off to that.

Okay, well, this was a lady who would run on the field. Sorry, I'm just trying to move past that. Would run on the field at Major League Baseball games. Yeah. Yeah, and she would kiss the players. back then it was cheeky and fun and we all got it now we would say oh that's sexual assault she needs to be locked up yeah uh it's uh we've come we've we've moved in a certain direction as a country what are they um what are they thinking they're they're going around acting like

total assholes um wearing clothing their clothing basically says throw dildos at me all of their pay me what I Pay me what you owe I forget it was some kind If I saw somebody wearing that t-shirt I'd be like man I want to throw a dildo at that bitch God damn it isn't that to correct response though They're walking around they're walking around

Advertising for McDonald's with moustaches That Angela Reese bitch is advertising for McDonald's sandwiches And she has a mustache They're talking about The worst thing Yeah Sorry go ahead They're beating up this poor white woman

They're just brutalizing her her. I don't understand what the correct responses other than to throw a torrent of dildos at them. Here's what's upsetting about the WNBA is they don't, you're right, they don't have any sense of humor

about themselves. Yeah, they really don't. If they, they really don't. If they, yeah, if they just went, listen guys, we know we're not the NBA, you know, we know it's kind of like, it's kind of like, the CNBA. Yeah. You know? So just be like, hey, we're kind of having fun.

It's kind of fun to see girls pretending to be guys There's a lot of people doing that now, whatever Can you please not throw a dildo while we're playing baseball Because we're going to, while we're playing basketball Because we're going to like Yeah, because we're going to like slip on it We're going to slide on it, slip on it And we're going to get hurt

So just please don't I got another job I got to do I got to go Be a shitty waitress after the In the bar, you know Across the street after the game Can you just please do it during halftime or something? Well the problem is that they've been such stuck up

I don't want to be mean, but bitches, yeah, for like this whole time being like, why don't we get paid as much as the guys? It's like, because nobody wants to watch this. Now you guys are that good. Because the guys would let you throw dildos on the court. That's why. If you threw

a dildo on the court, Shaq would go, hey, mine's bigger than this. And everyone would go, whoa! And then he would whip it out. And everyone would look at his dick and be like, that's awesome. I don't think Shaq would whip it out. He would do it. on our test would do it.

Somebody would... That's the point. They would handle it totally differently. If his dick fell out of his pants, Shaq would go along with it. Whoops. I don't think he would purposely whip it out. He would walk over to the guy's wife in the stands and go,

hey, you're going to need this. There's something like this. Or, hey, your husband dropped his pants. With the delto. Something. This is what Cheryl Reeve, a coach for the Minnesota cunts. Oh, sorry, links.

Minnesota links. Are they really commenting on it? They can't just shirelip. got up about it and just move on. I mean, it's women. Of course they're commenting on it. Can't they just go, hey, you know, people are having some fun, but yeah, yeah, let's please, you know, come on guys, we're playing a game here. Exactly.

She says, this has been going on for centuries, the sexualization of women. Yeah, you've... God forbid. What are you talking about? That would fix your whole fucking league. That's what you should have done from the beginning. Wait a minute. You know how much...

Look, if you guys... we're just like I'm not saying you've got to tart the whole thing up but like look nice on the court. Shave your mustache. Wax your mustache. Yeah. A little bit. After the game maybe take a little bit of

I don't know do a little dance or something to put on something nice. Whatever. Nobody wants to watch a bunch of the ladies being boys. It's weird. This has been going on for well not cranky ones. We like we like having fun as girls. This has been going on for centuries she says a sexualization of women.

Well, yeah, that's called sex. It's pretty much only exists because of you guys. So, this is the latest version of that. Do you want guys to watch this or not? And it's not funny, she says. So I guess she's a basketball expert and comedy expert. Comedy expert.

That's pretty incredible to have both. Well, she's a female basketball player, so she's definitely not a basketball expert, and she's a woman, period, so she's definitely not. It's not a comedy expert. It's not funny, and it should not be the butt of jokes on any radio shows or in print or in any comment. Fucking radio shows, man.

I don't, worried about radio. This better not be a joke on any radio shows or in print or in comments or in emails or any texting. No one better text me of this. She's listening to the Steeltoe Morning Show and going, oh, I hope he doesn't bring this up. that Aaron Imhold hits hard Dude If anyone even mentions Aaron Imholt I go into like a

A toe dimension What are you talking about? I can't stop winning He just golfed I know he's just so endlessly Fascinating The sexualization of women Is what's used to hold women down

Oh Okay And this is no different This is just its latest form And we should write about it in that way Who the fuck's we writing And the people that are doing this should be held accountable. And we're not the butt of the joke.

No, you guys are just the joke. They're the problem. And we need to take action. We need a go-fund me for that kid. We need, that's an 18-year-old kid. His heart was in the right place. He was trying to help the WNBA by giving, by... Getting press.

Getting press. Letting everyone see their sense of humor, their wonderful sense of humor. Is Brittany Grenier, the black player? Yeah Yeah Have you seen the guys who She's like a pseudo-hamaphrodite I think

Okay well I don't know about that But have you seen the guys who every one of their games They bet that she's going to brick the first shot And so far they're like They're like 80% like A bet win And I'm like see this gets me excited In the WNBA is a bunch of guys going

Brick brick Brick and then Brittany Grenier Just fucking throws an air ball They're like yes we win again I know I want to know When the dildo's coming out. Look. You can script it.

Fucking script it. Plant somebody in the audience and let all the players know, okay, you know, third quarter at three minutes, Harvey is going to fucking lob a dildo in the quadrant over there, you know, that's sideways with the basket. So don't go over there. It's easy. I just think these, you see them crying, they're going, how come we don't get paid as much? How come we don't get any endorsements?

And you go, okay. So look at why people are excited about a delto getting thrown on the court. What is that providing that you're not providing? Excitement, unpredictability, a little bit of TNA. Okay. Channel that. Don't run from that. Go, huh, well, this has got people talking.

Maybe there's something here. Not necessarily dildos, but perhaps just some excitement. Some excitement. Some color, some fun. She said, Angela Reese, the mustache lady said, You all make $1,400 a week. I make $1,400 in seven days. Wow.

So that's what. I don't think that's a real quote. That is a real quote. That's 100% a real quote. And she says they twisted it to make fun of her. And then she started getting pelted with Tildos. So that's the lesson here. She's living.

I think these ladies should be happy. People finally kind of care about the WNBA and a tiny bit. A little bit. What's that one? Caitlin Clark has got people zazzed up. The white girl. Yeah. Yeah.

But then they beat her up fiercely. You know, she had, she should have dropped the N-word. No. That would have really, that would have really got people excited. That would have really got people pumped on the WNBA. If she had dropped an N-word. Yeah. It would be a different dynamic.

There would be a lot more going on. Not really. Ah! All right. Okay. So that problem is what? People who can't take a joke. People who can't take a joke.

Excellent. All right, Dick, have you been watching the return of the King of the Hill? Uh-oh. No, I haven't. Well, it's now available on Hulu and all new seasons. What, 15 years past the original? Were you a King of the Hill fan? No.

really not at all no it looks stupid and boring like I feel like I see the memes you've watched king of the hill no I didn't watch it I would see commercials when I was like I don't I get it propane yeah okay it's like Texas

okay I got it do you like Beavison Budhead? Obviously everyone does do you like like idiocry do you like office space? Yes yes and yes obvious tremendous products yeah how can you like Mike judge and then go hey that thing he made for

like a decade looks like shit I don't know cuz like what is it supposed to be funny or not like what is it a guy it's very funny it's a funny show he's all boring it was like it was like the guy that the shed who had the shed that Beavis and Budhead broke into he's got a show and then Van Dresen's got a show like what the fuck is this show even is this boring ass the good the good family didn't work out as well. But yeah. Yes, the guy with the shed that they broke into

getting his own show. He's just a regular American. Okay. Oh my God, you're killing me with this. I can't believe. And a kid's fucking weird. I'm always shocked by like the comedy stuff that you just like have purposefully avoided for no good reason. I've tried to watch

it. It's just not funny. It takes forever. King of the hill. Curb your enthusiasm. Like all these great shows. No, those both of those shows suck. You're nuts. way, King of the Hill is back and many of our favorite characters have returned

including Khan Susan Usen Phone a beloved Laotian. They fucked up his voice though. Well, that's the problem. Oh, okay. Previously, Khan was voiced by Toby

Huss. You may remember famously as Artie, the strongest man in the world. Yeah, that was a good show. Yeah, who went on to have a fantastic voice acting career and did many voices for King in the Hill, including Cotton Hill and Consu Suss-Nusufon phone. That guy was funny, now that would be a good show.

But Cotton Hill? Yeah, Cotton Hill. Yeah, well, he's dead now, so out of the show. Cotton Hill was good. There's a lot of good Cotton Hill. You're saying you didn't fucking watch it. Now you're telling me Cotton Hill's a good character. You kill Fitty Men.

You're fucking, you're lying. You watch. it anyway he said he's lay ocean he goes how did you know that he's like how did you know that he's like how did you know that he's in vietnam yeah he knows all the different he knows all that because of his racism that's why well toby huss has been removed as the voice actor for consu sinousin phone and replaced with a guy who is not lay ocean i should have wrote his name down but they just got like a chinese guy because apparently that's close enough like seriously that's what happened everyone's

went, oh, so the white guy's not allowed to do it, so you must have went and got a Laotian guy and they're like, well, he got like a Chinese guy. Is it Toby Huss in like a rice hat with big buck teeth coming in? I wish, but no, it's a guy who's doing a voice that, believe it or not, sounds more white than the white guy

who did it. I know. I heard it. I heard it. I had no idea it was a regular white guy. I know. Dude. It sounds so bad. It sounds like a racist caricature. Yeah, it's crazy that they went and got a Chinese guy, to do a white impression when the white guy was doing a better Laotian impression than the

Chinese guy. Dude, and the dialogue, they didn't update it. So it sounds like bad English with a not racist voice. It's just very jarring. It's super weird. We're already dealing with some weird voice stuff

because the guy who did Dale's voice is dead. And the guy who did fucking Redcorn's voice is now dead. But I think he recorded his lines before that happened. So we're We have all this jarring shit, but because we have, of course, the new rule of race-based voice acting, you got to find somebody of the same race. I think it's Harry Shearer on The Simpsons who did, he did, what do you call it? What's the doctor character from the Simpsons?

The Black Doctor. Yeah, Dr. Hibbert. And he said, they're like, well, how do you feel about being removed as the voice of Dr. Hibbert? and he goes, okay, so the joke was that Dr. Hilbert was Bill Cosby because Bill Cosby was the whitest black man ever. Yeah. Of course you would get a white guy to do the voice. Like, that was the joke.

Is, oh, it's Bill Cosby, get a white guy to do the voice because Bill Cosby is the least black, black person that ever existed. Now, we later learned out he's actually pretty black in not ways that are great, but regardless. Wait, because he's a rapist? Well, no, he just, he likes Spanish fly and seduce Why is that making black? Well, I'm just, you know, statistically, whatever.

It's not, you know, they have a clue. He raped black women. What do you mean statistically? He did rape black women, yeah, exactly. White guys are raping black women. Black guys are raping black women. So there you go. Anyway, the point is that we're ruining great shows

to just replace the voices. get rid of the characters entirely like we like I feel like I'm Carl now I'm just complaining about the Simpsons but we got rid of a sound like it we got we're doing a WATP episode here here's one that's crazy though okay I under I I'm not gonna say I understand it but I understand the rationale of going you should get a Chinese person to a Chinese person's voice right well if you're trying to do like a normal voice then yeah yeah because like if you have like a normal French person. If it's a dialect, sure.

Yeah, yeah, sure, yeah. Okay, here's one that's crazy. You remember that show, Avatar, the last Airbender? No, I don't. I don't know about that shit. Are you aware of it? I'm not saying, did you watch the fucking thing? Yeah, I'm aware of that kind of shit, yeah.

Okay, so that show is a little, a little, a little Chinese, well, they're all fucking Chinese or some shit. Yeah. There's a bunch of little gay kids running around being gay. And one of them is a little Chinese-looking girl. and she's blind. And she had a Chinese girl doing the voice. So you got to get a blind girl.

Okay. Well, they're redoing Avatar. And they said, they said to the old voice actress. She said, I can't wait to come back to do Avatar. I'm a Chinese lady. I'm going to do a Chinese lady voice. And they said, you're not a blind Chinese lady. And she said, what the fuck you mean?

I'm not a blind. She said, we really are looking for a blind Chinese lady. For the new Avatar reboot, they went and they found Dian Kwan. Dian Kwan is her name? Dian Kuan. Dian Kwan. Is she pretending? Has anybody tested if she's pretending to be blind?

I think she's one of those like, you know how there's like those blind people, but they're not really that fucking blind. Stevie Wonder, absolutely. Dodgy mics all the time. Did you ever watch that cooking show? It was like Master Chef and they had like a blind Chinese lady won that season. And she was really playing it up. She's like, I can't even see what's cooking. If I could open my eyes, I couldn't see.

And I'm like, bitch, you can definitely see what you're cooking. You're fucking around. Like, maybe you, like, can't see that far in the distance or something. But I'm sure you can see the fucking blender or some shit. Yeah. If you had to be disabled, would you rather be blind or fat? I'd rather be fat, I'm pretty sure. I don't want to be blind.

You thought I was going to say deaf, right? Yeah, everyone thought I was going to say deaf. Yeah, that's, uh, Kwan is playing it up. They're saying the casting directors are giving her special braille scripts to accommodate her disability. Oh, what? Uh, and we're gonna have a blind Chinese, this is for Avatar. Fuck that. A lot of people are blaming that, uh, one YouTube kid, uh, I forget his name. Have you seen that fat Chinese guy? They blame it all.

Him and the Indian guy. A fat Chinese guy? Yeah, there's this fat Chinese guy. Yeah, there's this fat Chinese. guy on YouTube who's become a voice actor who's in everything now. He's in actually more shit than he should be in. He was that fat Chinese

kid who was always doing a little skits with himself where he'd play off himself and record both angles. What the hell? Somebody in the chat knows his name. Somebody in the chat say his name. Proz-D is his name. Okay. And he's doing skits with themselves. Like he'd be like, hey, what's

going on today? And then he'd film him from the other side and he'd go, I'm playing a game. Oh, I hate those things. Yeah, he was doing those things. I'm like, wow, it's like a twin comedy thing. And then I get into the video, I'm like, oh, it's the same fucking person. God damn it. Apparently, yeah.

He's Korean. And his whole thing was he's like, you know, I'm trying to be a voice actor. And he's just really sad these productions. I go to read for Asian roles and they give him to white people or whatever. And a lot of people are blaming him for a lot of this. There's such fucking assholes. Well, now he, but then like a year later he posted, I went to go get this voice role

and he said, oh, it's a white guy, so you can't audition for it. So it fucking sprung back at him. Also, anime is all Japanese people. Who cares? You can have white guys play the Japanese people. This is all, it's all silly. It's all ridiculous.

Should give it to Vic Maganya. I was going to say, the second we talk about voice acting, I start thinking about Vic Lazzania. It should be Vic Maganya. Get him in there. Who, man, I still, when I think about how much money that guy lost, Oh, it hurts so bad I really

I would kick Ty Beard's ass If that was me, I would Fucking kick Bro, I would jump off a bridge I'd pull his suit jacket over his head Fucking punch him Where it's like, what happened? Oh my lawyer didn't file paperwork on time

So now I owe this bitch Like $2 million dollars It's like The most painful fucking thing Her weirdo husband What was that guy's name? I don't know Johnny Retard

And they still get to be on Dragon Ball And he's not on You see The one thing I go Can you guys just let Vic Be fucking in anime He clearly likes being in anime

Can you just give that back to him Can't Trump do something about it Well Trump's Bringing back the banking So maybe you can force voice actors back Ah ha ha ha ha ha Yes he is Vic was Broly

All he needed to do was yell And go I'm Broly I'm fighting the Goku. Let him do it. He was good at it. Tons of pussy, too, you know?

It's a really tragic situation. Probably that one hot girl at every anime convention, he probably fucked her, you know? I think that was the problem is he was fucking every hot girl at the anime convention. No, it wasn't.

It was his stupid co-workers. Yeah. I don't fucking, yeah. I see what you're saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were jealous. They got jealous. They should spread some of that dick around.

They're like, God damn. Edward Elric is fucking slang pus. We got to put a stop to this. We got to get some of that dick. I'm not getting into that dick at home, so I'm going to sue your ass. Yeah. Anyway, I'm trying to watch the new King of the Hill. It's good.

But, man, it's really sad that Artie, the strongest man in the world, one of the greatest comedic talents of his generation. That is fucked, man. Because Toby Huss is the kind of guy where I think there's just no way this guy is going to make enough money to keep doing acting. Like, he's... No, dude, he's like a... If you look up Toby Huss, he's like one of these, like, you know, weird bohemian artist

guys who like scrapes by on his voice acting work. Yeah, that's what I mean. Like, he needs every role. He seems like a really cool, nice guy. Yeah, absolutely. He seems like a really cool, nice guy. And I love him. Love him. Well, the compromise they made is they made him the voice of Dale.

Oh, what? What? It's just fucking, it's awkward and weird, man. It's just the whole thing feels fucking weird. That sucks. He's doing an okay, Dale, but at that point I go, no, there you should have actually found a guy who sounded exactly like Dale. Now you're making like this weird

well you can't be this guy but we'll make you this guy and you're making all these weird compromises. Now con is Dale. Well now con. Yeah. It's fucking weird man. Anyway, race-based voice acting. Vote it. Vote on it. Okay. We're doing two TV problems because I couldn't think

of the second one while you were doing yours. You know what he cares? Food problems. Thito was an institution. It was an institution. for our whole lives. A very special... The problem in the universe.

Yes, that and another show. Shows falling off. Shows fall off all the time. People are no longer interested in them and they cry about it, which I'll complain about it, which I will do now. But no show fell as hard,

fell off as hard as hard as this one. And, of course, I'm talking about South Park. South Park very bizarrely I feel like we're going to agree but not for the same reason Well because of Trump It's obviously because of Trump They're attacking because of Trump Attacking Trump for no reason

When he's trying to fix and is fixing the country They've decided to be So stupid They've decided to be such little cock suckers South Park was about The disaffected young men Which we were As you know 20 years ago

It was a voice for the disaffected and the downtrodden and the abused and the people who were just tired of it. What are you talking about? Back in the day, down South Park. In what way? Like kicking babies and saying like not the mama and stuff like that. Mecca Streisand, taking that down. Taking down celebrities, man.

Fuck celebrities. We're talking about chocolatey balls on television. We don't give no shit about anything. Taking down Phil Collins, who did not deserve that at all. Talking about Gubax. Remember Gubax? I remember Goobacks I remember Chimpocon

I remember all the good stuff Taking it taking the piss out of people And now now South Park is getting Aplause from Joe from Jurz Or whatever that fucking weird Woman on the people who People have never laughed

At anything in their lives Are just tripping over themselves At a at a nice looking picture At J.D. Vance with shooting Baby Oil in someone's ass or something to very mean-spirited Trump attacks one after the other

with no cohesion or satire at all it's just trash and it's falling off very slowly and I've documented every step of it please tell me Are you watching these new episodes? I've seen like one. I'm boycotting it for America

I'm not watching that trash I'm boycotting it for America okay. Yeah. Are you? I've watched like one episode so far but I honestly have not but I'm not a modern South Park fan to begin with. What is a modern South Park fan? Do you think Randy is funny?

I love Randy, yeah. Well, that's every episode. But he wasn't, Randy wasn't in the last. Do you think Randy Marsh would make a cartoon making fun of Trump? Absolutely not. This is, no way. And I think Randy's funny, but they rely a lot on it. It's like the Randy show.

Randy and Cartman are the only good things that have ever happened in the History of Humanity. I liked Butters. Butters was a good time. Butters is a little queer. The Butter's era was fun. Okay, here's where the South Park falling off began. First of all, the breast cancer awareness show.

Remember that one? No. When Cartman was beaten, Carpman was beaten by Wendy? I do remember that, yes. That was a show about breast cancer, an issue that is the most. overplayed, overhyped, over-exposed issue in the entire history of the world. Breast cancer was that episode.

The metaphor for breast cancer. Right on the nose, spoken out loud by the principal, Victoria, whatever her name is. Is that what it was about? Yeah, that's why it felt wrong. I remember watching that and thinking, something is wrong with this.

I think it was just, it was the idea that Carpins like an unrepentant asshole. Yeah, she tricked a bunch of people to try to, like, take Jews away and stuff. He was always that. Now Wendy's beating him up because of breast cancer? Well, it's complicated. The power dynamics of the show are constantly changing as to who's the top dog or not. One of my problems of South Park is that I can ever figure out, like, I don't know. It's a complicated show.

That was Strike 1. That was when I said, uh-oh, something's happening. The Breast Cancer Show. Then Strike 2 was when they ruined Scott Tenerman by making. him and Cartman brothers. Do you remember that one? The Chile Cone Carnival. Wait, what do you mean they made them brothers?

Scott Tenement, Cartman tricked him into eating his parents. One of the greatest shows of one of the greatest episodes of all time. But then they like brought it back. Then they brought him back where he was like this Joker villain and it turned out that his dad was also Cartman's dad or something like that.

Yeah, I remember not paying attention to that fucking episode. See, this is Part of why I don't like South Park is that they don't have any consistent in-world rules or lore. Yeah. Where it's like... They did, though. They did, though.

They loved... They did. But then they threw it all out. They decided they were tired of doing that. They threw it all out for Trump. They just wanted to be wack. No, they did it before that. They threw it all the way because of Donald Trump.

When they made chef's character a reflection of the real world, what's his name, Isaac Hay? And he turned into Darth Vader? Yeah, and I'm like, well, that was one of the most funny episodes ever. That's, I thought that was like stupid as hell. Why? Because I go, because chef didn't join fucking Scientology. His voice actor did. Now you're like breaking the fucking.

What the hell are you talking about? What are they going to do? They're not going to take that shit from Scientology? Fuck that. Chef was a great character from the early seasons that was like beloved and an important part of the show. Right. And then they go, oh, and then he became like a fucking pedophile. And then Scientology, forged, Scientology, took over his correspondence while he was incapacitated from a stroke and pulled out of South Park.

So they said, oh, yeah, fuck you. You're an organization of pedophiles. That's like classic old South Park. You could have done an anti-Scientology episode without fucking up chef's character in a bizarre, stupid way. It was terrible. I hated it. Look, I hated that Look, I understand why it's funny

But for that show I said, well, that's like, what if like Fucking, what do you call it? What if Bart Simpson And Bart Simpson's voice actor is a fucking Scientologist So what if the Simpsons decided Oh, we hate Scientology this week Yeah, and Bart gets raised

Have Krusty rape his ass Have side show Bob, rape Bart Simpson And say, where's your Messiah now? Where's Tom Cruise would probably come in on that And save him I like universes that have a little bit of respect for the sanctity of the characters and it's not just nothing fucking nothing matters and who gives the shit coming in and they're going to blow up earth what do you mean respect for the universe

it's fucking south park chef was a lady's topical commentary chef was a ladies man he was a singer he was uh and he became a pedophile and then he became a pedophile he got his mind warped and he fucked kids that was awesome what do you mean this is lowbrow bullshit this sucks. So what do you like, are you going to say that Talley sucks, too? Tauley absolutely sucks. You like Towley? Tally's great. Talley's made one of the top ten characters ever made.

Oh my God. Talley's fucking great. See, I knew we were going to both agree we don't like South Park. Oh, I would not agree on which parts we don't like. Just like Scott Teneman, how they ruined, or Tenderman, they ruined him by making Trump this Canadian Saddam guy, they also ruined Saddam Hussein that was also awesome top 10 character maybe even better than Talley

and they just fucking ruin it it's ruining my life basically ruining my memories and it fucking sucks it's fucking sucks and it's never going to go away now because like so much money is put into it and everybody everybody foolishly hates Trump

so they're going to cheer it on and we're never going to now they're not going to stop until They ruin every single memory of South Park, and it fucking sucks. I don't, I, look, to me, South Park has been phoned in. They're always going on about, do you know, we make every episode in a week? And I go, that's bad. That's not something to be proud of.

What do you mean? Like, sit out and writes. Oh, yeah, they should take three years to make an episode. Well, no, but they should sit down over a fucking summer and write a bunch of scripts instead of just like fucking throwing it out there. Well, they have, they have like a writer's meeting where they bring the guys out and talk about what they're going to do that. season, like ideas. They do do that. Maybe like big picture ideas, but like, dude, you should have the scripts ready to go like in advance, not the week of. How wait a minute, how is your problem with South Park the most successful animated show of all time, the logistics of how

they do their script writing? Because I think the early seasons where they put like effort into the fucking scripts were more enjoyable. That's what I like the early South Park. I like. I like Mecca Streisand and Sheffey. That was a week. That took him a week. No, no. Those I don't think were the same process. That was like later on they developed this like fucking process. Um,

yeah. Well, they went on that five year. And then you get human centi-pad where you're like, I don't know, I guess it's kind of funny. Like, eh. Every episode is, I guess it's kind of, what if, what if Mr. Garrison was Trump? And then all these guys keep trying to get him to do

Trump stuff. And I'm like, I guess what it's kind of. for Trump. I don't know what, I don't know if they're like, I don't know if they, they didn't marry Jewish women or something. I don't know what could explain why they despise Trump so much. Other than he became the king comedian and commentator on topical issues, which they used to be. That's my theory. They were the, were the kings of topical issues. We do it in six days. We're the guys on the spot for that. And then Trump basically took that over when they went on vacation. Now they just seethingly hate him every time, and it's totally ruined it. Even that Panderverse episode, which people were trying to tell me, oh, my God. It's like so funny. I'm like, this is terrible. That's awful. What if, what if, what if, what if, it kept saying, oh, what if we make it gay and put a woman in it and it would make it gay?

I go, yeah, yeah, I got it. And then every fucking insufferable internet guy goes, oh, that is what they're doing. They are making it gay. I'm like, yeah, all right, I get it. Got it. Yeah. Maybe something good. would be better. I miss finger bang. Now that was an episode. Finger bang was good. Yeah. Mexican Joker was good.

When I was a kid, that was my favorite episode of South Park. And one night, my dad pulls me aside and he goes, what the fuck are you doing online? I go, what do you mean? He goes, why is your AOL screen name Finger Bang? And I went, oh, it's a South Park thing. He thought I was like sexting on. I'm like, no, I just really like the South Park episode. He's like, are you sexting, uh, girls? Yeah, he hopes so, yeah. It's like, finger bang 2000, and he's like, what the fuck is finger bang? I'm like, I don't know, it's a reference. All right, here's my problem, dick. All right. I don't know if you've heard the shit.

I guess we're doing a lot of entertainment-related problems. Fuck. Yeah, all right. That's good. Well, there's a lot of entertainment news going on. We did three show problems? Get the fuck out of here. You have a show problem, too?

Nobody gives a shit. Yeah, they did three, two. already too many. No, it's not. This is a good one. Because, Dick, obviously we as professional broadcasters, shock jocks, and radio boys, we owe a lot of this fun and this energy to a great man known as Howard Stern, whose show, the Howard Stern show, is to be potentially canceled after nearly 20 years on Sirius XM as his $100 million. contract is up later this year yeah dick i know you're you were a stern fan at one point you've talked about it a little bit yes sure yeah it's funny the great show yeah that's all you

need to say why that's all because because the way we're talking about it right now is how we should be talking about it how it's rid of him though he's fucking it's it's oh it's over no no no no no no no no Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up. You're doing the thing everybody else is doing. All you got to say is, Ah, Howard Stern's show, I love for that show. Great show, a lot of great moments. No, it's embarrassing now.

Get rid of them. Oh, my God, with this. Oh, my God. Why? What is the big deal? He's too fucking old. My problem, my problem is no respect for the good times. Oh, God, fuck the good times. Is that I go on Twitter, and God forbid,

every fucking little pedantic one of you concerned, No, conservative knuckleheads has to go, you know, he really fell off when he started going after Trump, and he lost the magic, man. Yeah, he used to be. The old, you know what, the worst thing I see over and over again, oh, the old Howard Stern would hate the new Howard Stern. He'd be ashamed of what he'd become. He'd be embarrassed. Who gives a shit? It doesn't matter.

He's an old man. He's like 80 fucking years old. Did you really think the magic was going to keep going for fucking ever? Yeah. Okay, no. Why not? Why? He sucks now.

you want to watch an 80-year-old guy throw, yeah if he's cool if he's gonna say racist stuff then yeah I do want that actually fuck the new Howard Stern he can't do the

racist stuff anymore and that's not his fault that you guys maybe not cold billions of dollars he can do blackface every day he just doesn't do it

I don't think he has anything to gain from it okay look obviously the show now the show who cares for the the show for the last five ten years has been an old man going I can get a hundred million dollars

just kind of show up good do it who care okay so it sucks no you're not listening to it I'm not listening to it no one's listening to it so why even complain about it yeah but I want to see I want the pleasure

of watching his show get canceled that would bring me joy why will that bring you joy because it would hurt him it would take something good it's not hurting him he got a hundred million dollars to do basically nothing.

He's very content. What's his background? What's his early life? How it's turned? You're telling me he doesn't want another... We're not doing that. He doesn't want another $20 million. So why does he go to work every day?

He's got tons of money. Why does he go to work every day? He's got the... He's got a contract. He's got to fulfill the contract. Yeah, yeah. He goes there to talk. So people listen to him.

He goes there to be influential. Take that away from him. Not really, he's, he, look, clearly at a certain point, he said, let's be, let's be clear, he spent a lot of time being shocking and outrageous and going nuts. It got him a lot of popularity and all he sucks. Well, okay, yeah. And he killed that woman. Did you see that he killed that woman? That woman was a fucking burnout.

She was going to kill herself. He should get sued. He needs to be sued for all that old stuff he did. It's a little late. It's a little late to sue him over that lady. No, no, no, no. If they got Trump for raping a woman, he doesn't even know, they could get stern. That's not even the worst.

He's first in the camps, actually. When we do our camp, he's first. He's first. He's first. He's first. He's first. Yeah. Stop talking about putting Jewish entertainers in camps.

Not helpful for the show. Not S, just one. Okay. Look, Stern's not a great guy. He's done a lot of fucked up stuff. Yeah. Obviously, he's had some great co-hosts over the year that he mysteriously broke ties with over petty squabbles and nobody likes that. Because they're fucked.

Actually, one of the worst things. he did was, uh, you remember Scott the Engineer? Yeah. Scott the Engineer's wife got a, like, cancer. And he went, can I put up like a GoFund Me or something? And Howard Stern was like, don't mention it on the air. Don't fucking put the Howard Stern name on it at all. It's like, dude, my wife has fucking, like, cancer.

Yeah, he's a bad guy. He's a bad guy. He's not a great guy. He's going to go to a prison. And the prison will have tents. Will you stop? He's not going to any prison. No one's going to Alcatraz.

Where are bad guys go. No one's going to Alligator, Auschwitz, or whatever, you fucking idiots are putting together. There's not going to be any alligators in it. I don't understand this thing from the human condition where you go, I can't believe this ancient old man isn't entertaining me the same way he used to 30 years ago. And it's like, yeah, who cares? What do you think about the $5 foot long? I despise it.

Why? Okay, why? Because it's a race to the bottom of it. for quality. Right. There you go. You got it. But at any point, okay, Subway at no point was the best sandwich around, okay? The fucking metaphor doesn't work.

They weren't always like candy dough. They weren't always sugar dough. They used to have bread at least. I remember what Subway was nice. Look, I just don't understand this thing where like we have to wait for people to fall off and then nobody can go, hey, this guy entertained me for like

20 years. Thanks a lot, man. Yeah, but I listen to the ads. What the fuck do I care? I listen to the manscaping, whatever. I still listen to Howard Stern class. I still listen to that ad. I paid my dues. I could say whatever I want.

I hate Steven Singer, okay, as we all do. Yeah, but I actually do. Not because of the ad. I don't hate him like the ad. I hate him like because I hate him. I think we're a really shitty, unappreciative society where we can't just go. He's got millions of dollars. What are you talking about?

So, just ignore it. Just go, yeah, you know, I don't like the later years of his show, but I was a big fan 20 years ago, and it's, you know, it's good to see that he's, whatever. It's sad to see him go, but I always appreciate the good times. Instead, it's got to be, oh, he really fell out. Fuck that guy. No, fuck, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Because he's overstayed his welcome, and in doing so, he's kept other people out of the game.

In overstaying his welcome. I don't, who, well, he might have kept opening out of the game. That might be a good one. And other up-and-comers. These boomers, like Stern, stick around forever, just raking in, like, banking on contracts being negotiated, like, not for what you're worth, just based on, like, the bad press of falling out and this dinosaur audience. He has listeners. He always had listeners. But who's to say?

Who's to say he could just be replaced right away by, like, Mersh and Royce? They could do... Well, he's not even the top draw on Sirius right now. And I do agree that there are, you know, certain people who deserve, like, I don't understand that. It's not a mitzvah. It's not a misfa. It's to overstay your welcome. He's a little bit of a shlameel, I think you would say. I don't know if it's overstaying you're welcome, though, when you go, hey, I'm an old man.

I enjoy doing this show. Some people enjoy listening to it. Why can't I keep doing a show? What's the problem? You suck. You're too old. Some people like it, clearly. People are enjoying it, okay?

Not as many people. It's better in boxing. where if you do that, you get your fucking head knocked off, you know? That's much better. If he had his own, like, a little podcast, would you give a shit? Howard Stern? Yeah. No.

Independent. He's just doing it because it's to keep active and have fun and hang out with his friends. He betrayed everything that he ever stood for and the people who supported him during those times. He has never once tried to speak out on, like, on issues of censorship. and free speech after he got his millions of dollars payday. Never once. He's not a great, he's not a great human being. Yeah, so, but I would say, as a comedian either, fuck him.

I think he's, I think he was a very good entertainer and you put on a very good show for a number of years. I will always be appreciative of it. I don't appreciate, you know, the direction it took. I think he snubbed Artie Lang and should have had him back on and at least settled things like a man. I think I think there's you know he's got a lot of

problems but I can't go you know he gave me a lot of entertainment I can't hate the fucking guy who cares and all I see is like

I don't know man I just fucking moron because I hate the idea that every piece of entertainment it's either got to be good forever

you know or if it falls off at all then we got to go well wait wait wait what you're saying the guy or the entertainment

the entertainment's done once it once its context expires it's worthless every art what do you mean I think it's disappointing to see everyone

write him off and not just can people just acknowledge what he gave us why why does it affect you in that way why do you give a shit about him I just think

because I think for society yeah it's shitty to always have to view something through the last known possible lens like no

fucking regard What have you done for me lately? What have you done for me lately? Yeah. That's the problem. That's great. We should do more of that. That's terrible.

That's awful. You're talking about a guy who just makes trash to sell ads and rip off subscriptions to a radio that you get for free in your car. Like a predatory subscription company. It's radio. What's he going to do? He can't just give it away. We should just give it away for free? I mean, literally that's radio.

So yes. Yeah. Well, then listen on the ads. What do you care? It's free. Fuckster. Okay. Is that it? That's your problem. I like Stern. I don't like Stern the man, but Stern the show and the everything. Stern the show sucks even worse. It's a sad moment for me to see the Stern show go. All right. Race-based voice actors. What was the other one? No respect for the good times.

no respect for good times and mine was uh south park falling off south park falling off and um what was the other one uh dildos the um people who don't people who can't take a joke okay people who can't take a joke all right go to biggest problem dot show to vote for those go to Patreon.com slash biggest problem. We have a bonus episode on Monday. I think about Superman. Did you get a graphic from me in the email? Oh yeah. Let me do that. Go read super chats.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I will read super chats. Oh, I don't know how to do that on this setup. I'll figure it out. Add it as an overlay. Mm-hmm. It is transparent, so you should be able to do that. Well, guys, get your super chats in. Don't forget to vote on all the problems at BiggestProblem. Show.

And anything else. Don't forget to check out Dick's new show Weight Watchers. Is that public, Dick? Actually, I don't think that we're allowed to talk about it. We have a very strict set of rules for the members of Weight Watchers. It used to be a... I'm not allowed to talk about or no one's a lot of time.

I'm not allowed to answer questions like that. You can talk about as much as you want because you're not a member. Watchers used to be about women watching their weight, but they went bankrupt because women stopped losing weight. So, a group. Wait, is that not still a brand? Yeah, went bankrupt. Weight Watchers went bankrupt.

I thought that, but didn't somebody buy it or something? Well, you know, it could be, could have been. Waywatchers.com is still a website. I'm sure it's still a website, but they went bankrupt. Uh, no. Yeah, they did. What do you mean no? What are you talking about?

Wait Watchers filed for, what do you think a website means you're bankrupt or not? They filed for Chapter 11 in May. Yeah, but somebody owns the brand. They're going out of business, dude. They got to liquidate, everything. Doesn't happen right away, but they're done. White Watchers International is a global company. What?

What do you mean what? They went out of business. Have you seen women? They're fucking huge. On May 6th, they all like a company. A billion dollars. They have zero chance. The company expects to emerge from bankruptcy within no later than 40 days or around June 15th. Did they come out of bankruptcy?

Well, they say they're going to. But it was already June 15th. Yeah. I mean, sometimes that stuff gets pushed back. Well, I don't know about this. Anyway, it's called Weight Watchers. You might want to just do a little look at it. I don't give a fuck, sue me.

Fucking. Okay. Or sue whoever, sue whatever clandestine group is holding the meeting for weight watching and trying to keep women skinny. Do what feels right, buddy. Trying to keep women skinny in a little bit of a different way. It doesn't matter, because according to you, this doesn't even exist, and it's not real. Othin for two, balder number one.

Coofe of five, thank for not killing yourselves, my brothers, and weight watching. Stu K for two in life gives you- I don't know what you mean by that, Kof, but I'm sure that someone. appreciates it out there. I'm sure they do. Straturgery for five plus tiers available for biggest problem Patreon. Get the kind of gradient. Only befitting of a talent

today. That's true. Our Patreon members new in our Discord have access to gradient usernames because somebody has boosted our Discord. The Pope 241-2 for 10 says go to the veto Patreon to gain access to the Minecraft server.

Apparently the people in my Patreon server are playing Minecraft. Craft zombies. Maybe I'll try it. I don't know. You ever play Minecraft, Dick? Is that like when you throw popcorn? You better figure it out before the kid turns.

Yeah, you throw popcorn around. Around this theater? Yeah, I've done that. I played Minecraft. Yeah. There you go. Frog washing for two pounds. It should be out next week.

That's Vito from July 29th, 2025. Should? Eh, we're very close. L.J. Clauberino for two. Weight watchers need some plus size stingers. Coach Cake for five, sending this four hours before the show. I mean, somebody, that's a good suggestion for somebody, anyone who's part of a certain clandestine group that operates Weight Watchers.

They would need that. They do need that. A very secret magic thing that no one knows about. Coach Cake for five, sending this four hours before the show. Vito, if you're reading this, he'll get some caffeine in you. Better bring the energy, fat boy. Curb tire for two says RIP dad. shoebox kingdom for five says

balls and testicles thanks black crimson 1986 for five says comics late Chuck's 4W Oh that's funny likes comics gate But comics late Oh yeah That's fucking good

Somebody do that as a shirt Somebody do that Somebody send me that Yeah Chuck's 4W for two When light It is so hot Is it hot where you are

No I have air conditioning Yeah my air conditioning sucks So I might need to get a new air conditioner Chuck's four for two When life gives you limes drop them LJ Clauberino for five How often do you wash your hands

When I go to the bathroom I guess Curb Tire for two What era do we live in this week We live in an era of people not respecting The Good Times Coach Cake for five Yeah what era do we live in this week Vito Okay

That's the era I brought in the era All right people Respecting the Good Times era And not letting people make fun of Trump Because it's against the rules Coach Cake for five Vito Can you tell me how the show would be better? And then rephrase it six times of me

so I can get more practice, ignoring it voice. Yes. Bobby Turcolino for two. You did this to yourself, bud. Schizophren for five. Watch the after problem with Frogtony and Crim at the end of Biggest Problem. Yes, you must get crimpilled. Fuggas.

Fugas. The after problem. You must. Yeah, you must. Ding dong Fugas for five Canadian. Biggest problems is all the gay and speculative posts on the subreddit about Dick and Vito's relationship. There's a lot of that.

That's homophobic. Do not say that. That's wonderful engagement. And I appreciate it. It's interesting. I agree. It's interesting. And I encourage all the fan art of me and a dick doing gay stuff.

There's none of that. There's been none of that, and I don't encourage that. So keep creating it. Top or Bottom, I approve. Ride Dog, 69 for five. Will Super Killer be out before a slopped timber? No. You got it.

All right. We've got Hoggis. We've got it. show for 20. Oinktover. You're a little ahead of time. The malware for two, where's the second installment of Breakfast

Time? I think that's a one-off classic. It's like with Joker. You don't want to ruin it with a bad sequel. What's that? What's Breakfast Time? It's one of my classic YouTube bits where I cook breakfast. Oh. It's a good one. I like it. How many takes to you? Guys Guy Mersh for five

says these people are jerks. Don't listen to Vito. You just keep reminding these people who the talent is. Oh, I know. the talent is. Just 70, 25 for 10. Viet maxing all day, all night. Mr. Poop Snorkel for 2, baby, it's Huggis. Self-deficient for my video.

If you quit the show, let's get together and make a sequel to my modern gaming comedy essay that got over 3 million views. Wow. FYI, you were both in it. We're in a video with 3 million views about comedy? Wait, what do you mean gaming comedy? I'm going to open this guy's channel real quick. Modern gaming comedy.

comedy he didn't get no one million views video oh my god he did modern gaming 3.4 million how are we in it doing what are we just like a little are we just like a little interstitial where we say something funny I'm looking at it now I think you probably put us in there as a fun meme yeah I think so too well good work on get 3.4 million views man that's more prominent in there next time don't not just like we need more memes that people could put in their videos Yeah, do it like more Like open up your video with us

And then close it out Don't just slide it in Or contact us and say Hey can you record A five second thing I'll do it Good dick won't Don't do that

Well I won't I'll say I won't do it and I won't do it You'll say you'll do it and you won't do it And then I won't do it Yeah exactly Mani Muskets for two Vito came with meth energy today Yes and it's great

Thank you More meth energy Well, you said to bring energy Did I bring energy? Yes. Don't question it. Just keep going. You said to...

Don't get lost in the weeds. But it's so tempting and fun. I know, but don't. The Mao, but people love it. They do not. And then we get destiny clips. The malware for two. Only one a season.

Like Rick and Morty only gets one story lord episode every season. You're right. I love the story lord episodes, but most people, don't, because you don't understand it, they're too stupid. I like some of the Storylord episode, the first one.

What's my motivation? The quest for motivation? That's one of the funniest things that there's ever been. And when he said, come gutters, and Rick said, I don't care for that term. That was, like, so, that was so satisfied. I had not heard that term before, so that was my first time hearing that term. I don't like that term. I was like, oh, thank God, me either.

The malware for two says, Mint is better at audio than Vita. hard disagree. God, that was funny. I'm spurging out over audio on their thing. That's how they open up every show. Riley, Riley yells it.

Riley yells at me like, I can't even believe. I'm like, oh my God. It's a good bit. And now she's yelling back. They're the original odd couple. They're the new school honeymooners, I think. Yeah, they're the honeymooners.

honestly the best thing from Riley had meant is the honeymooner stuff and I don't know how they can do more of that well you should don't don't worry yourself about that sort of thing all right I won't spider eternal for two is good to see Vito have energy thank God for cocaine cocaine Brian friends for five at least Vito sends better than Johnny did on Weight Watchers but that's all you can say he does better he was low that was my fault I told him I would come in early and help him set up his mic and I just didn't have time.

It was low audio. Oh, my altered beast hat. Andrew Tar for Tuss, a sick-ass hat. You want to know something? This was one of the first two hats I bought when I became a hat guy. Wow. I said, I'll never be a hat guy. I can't wear hats.

And I said, that's a pretty cool altered beast hat. And I put it on. I became a hat guy. And now everybody's a hat guy, and I don't think I can be a hat guy anymore. What are you going to move on to? Be an armband guy. I want to be a suspenders guy. Okay.

I want to be like an Amish guy with the suspenders. Like the bear hugger from Super Punch Out? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's cool. I'll figure some. Okay, Jay Thompson for two. Keep the Orbiters away. They're worse than Hassan's.

Orbiter is Jay Thompson for five. As a fan of both of these guys, Mitt Riley and Sean, can't get viewers on their own. So they leach off of you guys. Cut the 100-view YouTubers loose. Wow. I mean, two comments. Maybe if you have a third comment, maybe if you have a third super chat, I'll think about it. But I don't, just two, you're not serious.

I think the honeymooners dynamic would get thousands of views, and it's good. It sounds like you're manipulating them. Curb tire for two. You guys should go on P.K.A. I'm making great content. You said that was the good part of the fucking show. Patrick Rexon for 20 awesome show. Don't fuck it up.

Love you guys. And then he's got some sort of a dildo. Curb tire for two said you guys should go on PCA together. I read that. That will probably not have. Erman Harmon for 14. Vito Giz. Waldi. Pigeon Sal for five. Happy August, everyone.

Riley and Friends for five. What if there was a high-speed train that could take you to Vito's property? I don't know. Be a good time. Be a good ride. Team guy Vito for five. Glad to see Vito show up with more energy than a soggy cum sock this week. Salt Merchant GT for five.

Vito, if you try to control speech. Are you a sock comer, dick? No. When you jack off. No, no, no. Vito, do you want to control speech? Their speech will control you. Well, I mean, you're either a tissue guy or a sock guy, right? No, you could come anywhere.

You could be an outside guy. You know, you could be sunning your balls outside. Who's coming outside guy? What are you talking about? A lot of guys. Tissue, sock, and maybe some guys slink off to the toilet. No, there's porn in the forest, bro. If you go out into the forest, wherever you are.

There's porn in the forest where you like... What is this? The 90s? It never stopped. Now, that's a t-shirt. That's a t-shirt. There's porn in the forest. Not for a-for-a-noburned-a-tree.

If you try to control speech, their speech will control you. If you try to control speech, the speech will control you. All right, I got it. Vito, you park in a driveway, and you drive- You're parking a driveway, and you drive-in-a-parkway. Be unmovable. And you'll eventually move. What happens when the immovable rock move?

for the object. No, that's... Who gives a shit? That's not really... Be unmovable, and you'll eventually move. I don't think you... I would have said. N-word Nathaniel is the name

of the character, because he's black. Get it? Lord of the Nerds for two, I subscribed for the veto abuse quality content. You're welcome. Fist of Corpse for two. You'll get more soon. Cider for my cider, bro. Drink up. King N. for 20. My biggest problem is glass houses.

Dick, your buddy, Graff. Uh, graph? just recently called you a pedophile and Apologist Apologist for what Hamas Hamas?

Funny considering he actually harbored an actual convicted pedophile until he was bullied to ban him Also he's pro lolly Lolly Yeah I don't think there's any point It's weird how many of these guys are pro Lolly and like obsessed with Petit

like fucking yellow flash just clearly loves Lolly and then just obsessed is over nonsense. Yeah. It's very bizarre. Triturgery for five. God damn it he didn't throw it.

He chucked it. He chucked dicks in my own. I appreciate the comment, but I don't think that post is relevant anymore. Like, I think that Trump and Elon made post totally irrelevant. Oh, is Graff the guy who runs post? I think so. I think he once called me a petto. I don't know.

It's tough to keep track of these guys. Everyone's calling everyone a pedophile. How do you keep track any of this? Go on the internet. Everybody's a pedophile. Every two seconds. Who cares? It's fucking darded.

It was because of you. That's why. Oh. Yeah. So it's not like everybody, everybody. It's because you keep saying a pedophile thing. No, it goes, well, it's any leftist gets, it goes. Because you're all fucking pedophiles.

There you go. I mean, kind of. Captain Insano and Sev for five. The quality of dildos needs to approve. We need bad dragons and incredible hulks being thrown out there. I did a, I did a video with the best. Bad Dragon Dildo guys. That's all that I want to hear about that.

That would be a hell of a bad dragon marketing crossover. Bad Dragon. Who will throw the first bad dragon? Who will throw the first bad dragon? Yeah. Have you seen the dragon the dildo that lays eggs that they make? No. It's a dildo and it's got little silicon eggs in it.

So after you jam it up your asshole, you can squeeze fucking alien eggs inside your butt. Bue Huxley for time. What? You're going to tell me that's not interesting. thing that's like new technology. I don't want to not with you describing it, no. Boo Huxley for 5. Okay, I'll get someone else to describe it. Yes, a woman. Brittle bones, the pirate

should get on the scale. It's not for women. A woman doesn't want alien eggs in her butt. A gay guy does. It's getting even worse. Spider Eternal for two, they could have fixed Dale with an electro larynx. Yeah, that would have been funny. That was my suggestion. Oh, that was your suggestion?

Where? Online? On Twitter. Yeah, I said, I tweeted that. You think Spider Eternal your idea? I own it. I own that idea. Steve, okay. I invented the joke beat my dick like it owes me money. Sorry,

that's a deep cut. Let's see. Stevens lament for eight. South Park started going downhill and be it, Bill Hader joined the writing team. Did it? Interesting. Fist a corpse for two. South Park fell off by not having cider. That Cody guy for five. South Park went downhill with Tegrity Farms and fell off a cliff with the troll trace season. Yeah, that kind of sucked.

Oh yeah, Bill Hader sucks. he's in some funny sketches but i don't know if he wrote them he might just be in them bender for five south park has sucked for a while jokes are uninspired episodes feel half finished and they seem just out of touch rec section for five member chubacca member chef member tally member scott temerman member member saddam oh yes i remember i guess they are member burying their own show uh caro for five they hate trump because he ruined the entire 2016 season storyline by winning the election spite is that like on record is what actually happened yes you could tell that whole season that was like their big statement on the election and trump won and when they came back from their half season they're like we can't finish this because we thought we had planned yeah but i thought if they made if they made a week to week yeah they had it all planned out it was the first time they ever went like they went 100% serialization like we're going to tell a whole story and they guessed wrong because they're gay I don't know why.

Lemon Trashy for two. Boohoo Robin. I invented radio. Look, he's not great, but I love the show. Matt C for five, Howard Stern needs to bring back Blackface one more last time the way out. Would you give him credit if he did that? If he went out on Blackface, would you go, well, at least he ended on a high note? Not if he, like, said it was bad at the same time, which he would do.

Well, I can't imagine doing Blackface. If he came out doing like a racist African-American impression, then yeah. In fact, somebody should sneak into his funeral when he's dead and blackface his funeral. That would be hilarious. You blackfaced my funeral. Cody Titus for five, South Park went downhill after season 13. Talley is great. MC hell shit for 20.

Hey, Biggs Problem. Don't ever end this show or I'm coming on to both of your guys' property. We're going to get a double. Teak of the Mighty for two. Carlin went to his grave, never turning into Stern. Yeah, but he got kind of preachy at the end. I don't know. It's fine.

Riley and Friends for five. I know booty can't be done remotely, but is there a way to pay for Captain Dick to join us for super chats? No. Maybe we'll come up with some, well, not that, but maybe there's some sort of bits we could do. Who knows? No. Mr. Abstruth? Okay, no bits ever.

Not that. What he's asking? No. Why? Because, no. Can we have puppets? Absolutely not. You can have a puppet.

That's not. His question was Captain Dick. to join us. Okay, Captain Dick is specifically a Vito's Booty related thing. Correct. No. I accept that. No amount of, no way, no way around it.

No sneaky way around it. Maybe I need some costumes. You need to learn what no means. I'm not disagreeing with you. I'm saying? I could do... Oh my God, whatever. Let's see. Mr. Absrews for 10,

the video in this show was obviously fake Vito, bring whiny, real Vito back. And Andrew Sabina for town, I'm glad Vito could get professional and not hate Stern after spamming Riley's chat with six alts because his fat feelings were hurt. Yeah, what was that?

I was just trying to get him. I just wanted him to let me come on. They wouldn't let me come on. Yeah, why, though? Why did you want to get on their show? I was just trolling him. It was fun. Oh, they hate you.

Why am I not? Well, yeah, I don't understand it. you don't understand what they don't well I mean I get if they hate me I guess I don't I don't understand uh I was yeah you said they were gonna rape them of course they hate you I didn't say I was gonna rape them okay at one point I made one joke okay and a lot of wild things have been said over the years and I took it do I got to apologize again I'm sorry I said I did I walked it back that second I said it walking walking back is the opposite of an apology. Walking back

is a really annoying non-apology. I'm not going to rape anybody. I'm sorry I said I'd rape anybody, okay? I don't think I have it in me to rape. I'm not a rapy guy. See, there you go. That's why it's not an apology, because you say, uh, sorry I said I was going to rape

you. I couldn't even rape you anyway. It's like saying it again. I don't think it's like saying it again. It is. You can't apologize. You can't apologize like that. We'll try it from the top. We'll try from top we'll try from the top okay two mint salad who i said i would rape i apologize for saying i would rape you that was unprofessional and uncalled to it it just sounds so phony though like oh sorry i'm sorry let's try from the top try from the top try from the top

mint salad we just hold on let's try from the top going to the top i've obviously had disagreement try it from the top yeah it's obviously not a real apology okay it is a real apology okay what are you doing a comedy podcast you have a certain energy okay and then to suddenly get serious and try to do a serious thing is hard okay you're not to seriously apologize but then it's like every apology is also then uh nullified by these comments like i don't even the guy could rape you. It's a Rodney Dangerfield type of... Yeah, it is. It is. Do you think he was ever sorry?

Oh, hey, I'm sorry about that. Oh, it looks good on you. That's like his whole deal. Hey, sorry for saying, I'm going to rape you there. You know, I wouldn't even, if I could, if I wanted to, though. Look, I want to apologize to the audience. I've heard a lot of people say that that was very upsetting on them. obviously are you apologizing to the audience

or are you apologizing to her? I'm apologizing to her and the audience I think it's important to apologize to both I think it's important to apologize to both. Not at the same time as part of doing a comedy podcast you try a lot of things out sometimes you go over the line

you think something's going to be funny and it's not that was not funny it was uncalled for and I apologize uh Andrew Sabina for 10 says I'm glad oh yeah that's your six alts because your fat

feelings were hurt Andy Johnson for two it's for their health it's for their health John Cookie for five can we start a countdown for how long until Vito reports stick to some organization to fuck up his business deal I can't you're Trump in the shrine to you

not now not now I can't Maddox you as much as I would like to it's impossible I mean I wish you I wish you could Maddox me. I'd get a bigger house. I know. I meant for eight.

If Vito wants to join the Weight Watchers' brotherhood, there needs to be a lengthy pledging process. I have no interest. Thank you. I don't want to be a part of it at all. Bobbert 314 for 10. Great show boys. Happy Hoggust. Thank you.

Oh, H.H. H.H. Which means happy hoggust or Hulk Hogan? H.H. I come buckets for two. I text married women, but never my friend's wife. Ha! I saw Nick Rakeda trying to say he never texted his friend's wife,

and that does not sound correct. Captain Cheese for five, glad to see Vito turned off the retard beam for tonight. Good show, Dick, and Vietz. Diamond G for two, Vito just needed a good blowing out. He's back. He's back. Aggressive Dino for five. I thought Vito was high energy today.

Spider Eternal for Two, sweet Jesus, put the hat back on Vito. I think you guys can tell I stopped taking the hair restoration medicine. It's gone. Sabina for two. It became a hat guy when he started going bald. Yeah, it's gone. No more hair. Trio Doug for five.

I just want to say, I saved the show again. Employer the month. Trio Doug's doing an excellent job coordinating our show. Thank you very much. There's even talk about maybe having a guest. Is that true? I don't know. Okay.

Well, that's what I've been told. Lex Lodendie for five says, my eyes. Joseph Smucketelli for five. Dick is the living personification of chaos. It can be fun to watch in bits. Last episode, however, reveals too much. Riley and Friends for Five, we're all apart. You've got to tuck your tampon string back in there, Joseph.

He's a Destiny listener. Riley and Friends for Five. Why don't you go write a fucking treat? Go write your PhD paper in the comments of the video over there. Jesus Christ. I will say Destiny. Excuse me. Oh, sorry. Did I say, Joseph?

I meant a Doctor House, MD. Thanks for stopping. thanks for stopping by our stream and leaving a super chat Dr. House, M.D. All right, all right. Destiny did say he might come on the show again. That would be a good good get.

Riley and Friends are 5. We're all part of the petto community. Spotted Return for 2. F-Ovito, I came up with the Dale Fix without you. I'm sure everybody did. I won't take credit for it. Yeah, but you did. You're like I said that.

Right away. I know. I'm sure everybody came up with it. Rock, the Kazma for 2, skullshaver veto promo code. don't fire me. You can't fire me on half the show. You could end the show, but I mean, why would you end

the comedy? Pretty crafty. Best page in the universe for two says, apologize for saying you touch my penis. No. Smiley face. Riley and Friends for Five, video you can get out of the Mids situation very easily. Just tell the world that you've chosen to live your life as a gay man.

Johnny Rocket for Five. Reminder, Super Killer 2 will be free. Johnny Rocket for five, The Maniac is still available on indie Agoo still. Mateo Roberto for 10. Vito. Would you consider yourself a lull cow?

I mean, I guess I would have to understand. I don't understand what people consider a lull cow to be. I think a lulcow is like somebody who's just like completely devoid of any value other than

being a like loser punch. bag and I'm sure there are people who would argue that that's what Vito is but I think I provide pretty good banter I bring in good problems uh I don't know two TV problems though no I had a radio problem and a TV problem that's okay that's true that's Howard Stern did have a TV show briefly yeah the E show that's the problem is that I brought in a TV show problem in a fucking a radio problem you think that low cow have no redeeming qualities at all? I think they have minimal.

I think the redeeming value they offer is offset by the entertainment that is gained out of, uh, you know, they're like fuck-ups, you know?

So what do you mean they're like fuck-ups? At first you said they have no redeeming qualities. What do you mean by that? Like, Boogie is funny. Boogie has made good, funny videos in the past. Yeah. You can look at that like,

Francis shit and you go he actually did think this through like it seems like completely retarded but like there's a premise here it's not terribly shot it's a fat guy flipping over a table you know yeah I mean I guess it's not like highbrow or whatever

but like I do go it's a little something and like the character and the voice and whatever else like he has some talent but at a certain point well it's that the entertainment value And now he's just taking baths with this hot young girl.

I don't even know if she's 18, right? Well, yeah, now he's played into it and he goes, oh, I suck. And, you know, the whole thing is that I suck. And look, and it's not, that's why that whole low cow podcast shit doesn't work because you're like, well, what's the point of the locale if he's doing a bit? Like, that's the other thing is, I don't know. Sometimes. Okay.

Like, there was that, there was, I saw like one episode where they're like, we're going to take away boogie's paycheck because he lied. about having cancer. Yeah. And Boogie does this fake anger argument thing. Yeah. Where he's like very indignant. He's like,

you can't take away my money. If you take away my money, I'm going to quit the show, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, that's a bit. The man is goofing right now. Right. So, yeah, I would say a low-cow is somebody for whom

whatever they're providing does not outweigh, you know, just what entertainment value comes from shitting on them. I would hope I haven't reached that level. Oh, I see. Wow. Yeah, that is accurate, I think. Oh, doesn't that not make sense as the definition?

That sounds like a good definition. We can make more fun out of you than you can make. There are people for whom, like, DSP, that guy who plays video games, I'm sure they actually enjoy watching and play video games but the amount of entertainment they get out of like you know making fucking highlight reels of how much he sucks probably outweighs what he himself provides I don't know anything about that guy at all

and he's just like shitty at video games oh and he wastes all his money okay so I'll say this is uh I think I got a lot of entertainment to provide and that's no is it yes or no he said I could become a little cow

it could happen but ultimately but let's put it this way would you rather watch biggest problem with Dick and Vito or would you rather watch people shitting on how much

biggest problem sucks I think people like this show am I crazy are those the only two options yeah pretty much I mean I think there's other I think there could be other options

I think people like this show Yeah, Riley and Friends Oh, Flirk Respector for Five, live show for episode 200 No, in two weeks, no, absolutely not Riley and Friends for two Vito is a new breed A lull pig. Okay, Riley.

I happen to know that Riley's like 350 pounds, so Fat on Fat, I don't know that. Spider Returnal for five. Vito couldn't join the Weight Watchers show if he wanted to, he's a fat woman, and next week's queen, and now Vito is minimizing my ideas. Go fuck

yourself. You see, it's just, it's not worth it to try to say that you came up with something when this guy says it, curb tire for two, how's progress on the other three comics for this year? Well, actually, Superkiller 2 is going fucking great. So that one's coming along

swimmingly, and I'd like to get back to the other one. Okay, and is there going to be a, uh, is there going to be a super killer drop tonight or this weekend? Uh, next week is when I'm aiming to drop it. Do you have a day?

I don't. I'm not going to, I'm not doing deadlines or whatever else. You guys are going to get it when it's ready to go. But as you can see, look, we have it all printed out. All I'm doing is sending my notes to the letterer this weekend. I'm going to finalize my notes. Send them to him. He'll bang through them.

And then you'll have it in your inbox. Okay. All the backers. That's it, everybody. That graphic with all the people. Do we normally play something? You can play the voted up Stinger again. Don't play that.

That's not good. Coo for five, Dick, please yell at me so I can get a bingo for biggest problem. Bingo for the after show with Sean and Cramming back the maniac. No, because you guys did a show. You guys yell at who. Whom, Coof. You or Vita. You want to yell at Coof. You yell at Coof.

No, I'm not going to yell at you. I'm not going to participate in this bingo game because you guys fucked up the bingo game. You can't all be playing the same board of bingo. Bingo card. That's not how bingo works. You have to have separate, you have to have different bingoes. So there's like... Oh, that's too complicated.

They're not going to do that. Riley and Friends for 2 says 3.50. You flatter me, sir. Stylonium says Are you bigger than $3.50, Riley? Get your fucking act together. Andrew Sabina, I'd rather dry hump a porcupine. Albar Dundrick says

P.K. Taylor said he would host biggest problem if asked. Well, there you go. Now you've got an exit strategy. And I think that's it. All right, goodbye. Bye. Thank you.