The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 204

Episode Date: September 27, 2025

Shit! Shit! I thought it was gonna pop up a menu. Damn it. What? I thought it was gonna pop up a menu. You nailed it as always. No, I was two seconds early because I gave myself two seconds To load the menu. This is a good bit the it's not a bit. It's not a bit It's not a bit. This is an excellent bit you're doing here, sir. It's not a bit. I commend you you. Oh, my God, I tried to switch the thing and oh, it all went wrong again. Well, I have the click thing, click here. And then I thought, nobody knows what you're talking about, because none of them use

stream, like literally this is a meaningless thing to explain to them. They understand. You might as well go, you might as well go like, oh, all my sprockets were configured with a leftwards clockwise rotation. I know exactly what you mean by that. I know Yeah, you do. I know.

They don't. Well, I mean, the metaphor is the same. Yeah. Like, there's Sprockets that have other rotations. There's other rotations for the Sprockets. Who did it? You got to pay attention to the rotation. Somebody fucked up the Sprocket.

Fuck, I need a new note. Click just one time. Click just one time. Yeah. How are you doing? It's been a big week. Has it? I think.

I don't know Tell me what's going on with H1Bs, I'm confused What are you talking about? Confused about what? Is it still happening? Or did he walk it back? I'm getting mixed signals Because first it was like

Everybody's got to pay $100,000 And then it was like Except the only Jim has to pay Your audio is all desynced from your video Hold on And crank your audio Your output up I don't know why you're low

You're as high as you can go on my side Do-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-le-le-le-de-le-de-le-de-de-de-de-de-le-de-le-de oh no Oh no We've got people are being banned already from Super Chats Oh no Is my mic fixed? I don't know Okay, but wait, am I desynced for you?

It's not desynced for me Yeah, it's desynced for me You're desynced for me That's super weird It's weird, I know. Okay, let me... It's a weird kind of day. Come back in. Hold on.

All right. I shouldn't be desynced. Hey, everybody, it's the Just Me show. It's the Just Me show. Welcome to the Just Me Friday Night Show. I'm stuck in singing random songs now because that's the only way to try to make my son go to sleep. I can't stop doing it. I feel like I'm living in Bob's Burger.

never noticed how creaky the floors are at my house like that all fucking day and night he's gone there he is uh hello try it again hello hello am i still desynced what you have to tell me what's happening. Your audio's all fucking desynced. Oh, who cares? Maybe it's both of us. Uh, maybe, so

Hold on. I can try to disconnect. Maybe it's me too. No, I don't think it's you. Uh-oh, now he's staticky. Legit. It is legitimately worse. Did that do anything? Is that better? Or worse? I don't know. It's probably worse, man.

All right, well, just don't look at the video just don't look at the video because uh because it'll give you a migraine trying to match the lips up yeah exactly should I restart my side slightly better much worse I don't know why your side would matter I don't fucking know I mean I'm just trying to like do something that's all I don't think my side would matter either you got your I got one other He has an audio thing with lag Doesn't he? He's got an audio

He's got an audio plug in with like a 200 milliseconds of lag Huh It's the same thing I used last week Now it's fine! Now it's fine! Okay, all right So I just had to restart OBS and now it's fine So I just had to restart OBS

There, now we know We fixed it We fixed the show Turn your output up Like there? How's that? That's worse Problem Wait, make it louder

Oh damn it, man What ever... Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe The only show in the universe It ranks every problem in the universe In the universe From stubborn sorry-sayers To poorly timed potators

It's Super Serbian said that From Brownie Blasting Kirk To no more H1Bs at work K-1-3 said that From unapologetic TV hosts To trans lines biting your throats I'm your host Dick Mason Joining me is always as Vito Giswaldi

How's it going? Hello? Good, good You sound terrific This week What happened this week? Yeah The audio bit is not funny at all I don't think it is either bit, Flip

Well you have every option of showing up early and we can work out any kinks. You could do that with a random fiber. A random fiber and you could hop on stream yard and fix your audio. No, because you have to, you would know, you would be able to say, hey, you're desynced. Any random fiber, audio engineer

fiber could help you with that. Can you just show it five minutes before the show? We'll just figure it out. No, I tried that. I tried that right away. But now it's a fiber's job. Well, I'm not hiring a guy on fiber. Why don't you just show up? It's five bucks. You have issues with your shit too, right?

You were loud before the show, and we had to troubleshoot that. We didn't troubleshoot shit. What are you talking about? You showed up, and I said, hey, you're too loud. And the only way you knew that was because I told you. I fixed it immediately. Did you tell me, did you say, hey, Vito, you're fucking videos desynced? No.

So I didn't have an opportunity to fix it. So you just, you want me to have audio issues before the show starts. You want to fix all your shit. And then you start the show and you, I can't believe Vito's shit isn't fixed. I mean, I don't. I don't care. To be honest, I don't care how your audio or video is. You could just say, hey, you're desynced, and then we could figure it out.

I'm not watching a video. I don't tell you when your shit. I told you you were too loud before the show, and you had an opportunity to fix it. Me, go. What an incredible effort. You're too loud. Oh, shit. Wow.

That's amazing. Yeah, we adjusted your levels. We should do five seconds before the show starts. We should hammer these things out. We did five seconds. You said you were too loud. How long you think that takes? Okay.

Well, you should look at, whatever. Find a nice parjit sing. We got a great show. I'm going to look up. Audio engineer on Fiverr right now. Let me see what they're going for. I don't want to talk to some Indian guy before the show. You can do it.

I can't, though. I can't. I can't. You can say, hey, you got a desync or something's wrong. You got a desync or something? I don't know how to fix your fucking desync issues? I fixed it in two seconds. We just had to reboot OBS.

It's two seconds. engineer. Extra Indian. I want like a low cast of Indian. I don't want to talk to Haseem before every fucking episode. No, no, no, no, no, your levels are not good. No, no, no, no.

That's what you need, though. No, no, no. Scott H. No, no, no, $150? No, no, no. Give me the cheap guys. Sorry, sorry, radio is you need the refresh your OBS. Higher budget, value. What do you have that's lower than value?

Let's see here. Up to $7. What can I get for $7? Sir, please do not podcast. Please do not podcast. Bro. Your audio, sir. Sorry, audio.

I'm going to hire you this guy. No, I don't want him. Ruban. Ruban. I don't want to talk to Ruban. I don't want to deal with Rubin. I will professionally edit and improve your audio and podcast. This is Obie.

Abi's a level two, bro. You're acting like we never had audio issues when we did the show in studio. Okay, there's always something to figure out before the show goes live. I'm acting like hiring you an audio engineer. What's wrong with that? Okay, but you make any sound. You're like, I can't believe there's audio issues. I didn't say that.

Whenever I came into the studio, there would be something wrong with some cross plug or whatever fucking thing, and we would fix it. Okay? It's common to every show. What do you mean we? You don't know anything about any of this. We're not fixing it. I would turn off the box and then I would turn it back on. That was my very important show.

That's still me. That's not you doing it. Yeah, but you weren't on my side of the table, so you couldn't reach it. And I was an important audio engineer. I can't wait to meet Rubon or Abbe. I don't want to talk to Rubon or Abbey. I want nothing with Rubon. Well, Abbey or Rubon is going to be here.

The audience can pick. Next episode, bring him on and he can start the show with us, and he can tell us how the audio sounds. No, that's extra. I'm only paying five bucks. It's 15 minutes. I want him to go live. to do it live he's got to do it live troubleshoot it in front of the audience

yeah that's fine he's got 15 minutes say get in here alpito with this audio all right are you ready for the problems yes guys who won't apologize number one classic

timing the side number two oh man that's two for me calling the manager barely any votes lion tamers got negative votes well i think uh people didn't understand that problem which part

the part where my problem was the best one and they uh i didn't get it uh you got a lot of support in the comments from other people who have something wrong with them did you see that i don't have anything wrong with me i did see one guy who was like i get what veto saying this was inevitable something wrong with them uh martin o'keef says i waited two weeks for a dick to ream out Vito and all I got was this dumb Charlie Kirk hot take, which only showed that Vito...

See, I don't think you would, I don't think you would ream me out. I think people thought you were really going to rake me over the coals, but you're not like a big Charlie Kirk guy. Um, I hate, uh, I, I deeply despise Christian pacifism and what it does and Christian's addiction to the, uh, Middle East Israel. Uh, yeah. If, um, they've basically destroyed Western civilization with their cult so uh christians or who christians yeah christians have worked from day one to try to bring uh immigrants uh forgiveness uh forgiveness and all kinds of retarded self-help shit that they need to get by from day to day they've ruined christians took a society built by uh high IQ inventors and psychopaths and they destroyed it the same way a woman would destroy something by soaking it in estrogen

Christians did this? Yes, yeah. When? From the beginning of, from the beginning, we had a nice country where bad guys America. America, where bad guys would get killed. Bad guys would get killed and people who were occupying land that we wanted

would get killed. And people who wouldn't do work for free would get killed. It was a... It was a great and wonderful society. We really are rendering a new fucking era, aren't we? And then the Christians got in and said... Those guys who just... They loved working for free.

I don't know. What you would call them. Yeah. Yeah. The Chinese I'm talking about. Right. Oh, you're talking about black people. Yeah.

I see people in the chat going, uh, I think he's describing the Jews, not the Christians. Oh, no, oh, no, I'm sorry. Um, no, you guys are the same group to me. I'm over here in atheist land. You may have heard of us. We've killed tens of millions of people. No big deal. Kind of the number one.

Yeah, Crusades, that's cute. Real cute, you guys, with the Crusades. You guys are the same. You're playing in the same stadiums. See? You're in the same league. They're doing all the same stuff. Judeo-Christian.

It's the same exact thing. I got a lot of guys. Anyway, what were you saying? I'm learning a lot every day. I'm learning so much. I hate Christianity's influence. on America. It's destroyed it. They brought in

millions of immigrants. Jesus is king. What do you mean? No, cash is king. Ash is king. Well, that's Jesus is a bitch. What, Jesus Christ? Isn't that what he wants? Does he want to be a bitch? Not your enemy fuck you in the

ass. That's like his whole thing. Well, I mean, that is the classic stand-up bit where it's like Jesus comes back from the dead and he goes, you guys had to pick the moment. I was fucking bleeding out on a cross and that's the rallying crime me looking like a complete bitch getting destroyed by the Romans but that's what he liked because it's like self self actualization self actualization is the only thing that mattered to Jesus and all of his

followers he's like well I need to forgive you so I feel like so I have heaven in my heart and me me and the rest of the bros really hate that we don't need to feel good you're not into forgiveness no I don't need to feel good Ever. That's the difference between me and you, Christ F's, is you don't need to walk around every day, all day, feeling just wonderful about it. Oh, look at me. I feel so fucking generous. I love my enemy. Let me suck my enemy's dick. Right? I really wish you would write another book so I could try to piece together your political ideology because, man. What do you mean? You go from, you go from, you got to say Christ is king.

You have to say that, yeah. I'm the pro, uh, you know what? I'm pro Christ. I'm pro Christ. I just hate everything about him and his fundamental ideas of what he represents. That's all I'm saying. He's king. Yeah, he's a king of the empire of interest rates and shit.

Good job, buddy. Way to go. Well, he was a brilliant teacher. He taught us a lot. We learned a lot. Now I got a beauty queen lecturing. Now we have a Miss Arizona. pie-faced Miss Arizona

lecturing everyone on what forgiveness is 31 year old fucking single mom. Fuck you. Infantilization of Erica Kirk is just like so weird. I saw a tweet from somebody probably Benny Johnson where he goes Erica Kirk's jumping right in

today she hosted a Zoom call for all the employees. We're so proud of her and I'm like, you're proud of a lady hosted a Zoom call? Hey, here's my problem. Here's my problem number one. Here's my problem number one. And I'm talking about, um, I'm talking about the new president of Nintendo. What's your name? Uh, uh, uh, lady. Sheira no wiener. Yeah, it's women taking shit over, women taking over shit. That's a lot of that going on. Yeah, women taking shit

over. Um, applauding for it. Yeah. Hey, who should we have run our video game company? Oh, I know. A lady. Let's grab this lady. Oh, okay. No, you don't understand. Has that ever worked? Has whatever works? Has that ever been like to the... Okay, so Kathleen Kennedy takes over Star Wars. It's a tragedy. Yeah. Then they brought in the lady from Marlborough to run Magic the Gathering.

Wait, Marlboro? Yeah, she used to sell cigarettes, and then they brought her into Run Magic the Gathering. When did she sell cigarettes? That kind of matters. Because cigarettes were awesome, and then they became like, cigarettes just ran ads against cigarettes. I think during the gay years, she ran a... Yeah, that's the worst. That's the absolute worst part.

Well, she's no longer, she ruined Magic the Gathering and then she left and now they're ruining it in a different way, but she was responsible for all the IP shit. All the IP shit. She started the IP shit, but also overprinted the game and it made trash. I don't mind overprinting, but the IP stuff. Like, I see they're trying to do a Lego thing. Like, IP saved, you know, Lego. Dude, today they announced Magic the Gathering Furby, Star Trek, the office. what uh yeah and a couple other ones grateful dead or no not grateful dead uh are they got a primus in there for me uh no what's the band that has all the skeletons on their shit the whole uh the whole set is just like sounds of a of a bass guitar like every card or card is like but durn durn durn like they're all their song i could do their whole songs like that you know they're doing a whole uh

They're doing a whole I'll play a bird Do do Dwight cards I play Wait 20 office cards Uh They're gonna

It's like a You know It's one of those secret layers They'll be like six cards And they're all Dwight Doing different stuff Can you play as Oscar And like

Fart come They didn't make an Oscar card I don't know what's only Dwight I mean I guess Dwight's like The nerd But I'm like You gotta do everybody Yeah why am I buying it for Dwight

They have Do you ever see The scene where it's a Halloween And fuck what's the What's the big black guy. Stanley. Stanley has like a perfect samurai costume. No. And I go, that's your magic card right there. Yeah, he's the samurai. He's checking off to hentai and stuff too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he goes,

it's called hentai and it's art. Yeah, that was awesome. That guy was great. So I don't know, they should have made a Stanley samurai card. That would have been good. But yeah, ladies take over everything. They've taken over Nintendo. They've taken over Star Wars. Now they're taking over Jesus Christ. Now they're taking over religion. Yeah, they're taking over a- turning points that guy threw a hammer at the at the virgin mary statue in the vatican i was like awesome get fucking rid of it when was that was that recently no it was a long time ago a guy snuck a hammer and i don't know what kind of hammer was why did he hate the virgin mary statue uh i don't know it's a coveted image can't put you can't put a graven image

before our i mean it is i told i told the story when i went to bible camp they really like had to instill in us like uh hey fuck mary You know, she's not the worst, but they're like really concerned that Spanish people loved Mary more than Jesus. Yeah. And they're like, so if you're proselytizing to a Spanish person, remind them that Jesus is king and to stop fixing on Mary's big fucking ass, which the Spanish guys are all excited about. Oh, is that what she's hiding under there? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They'd go like, you know, they tried, they sent the missionaries over and they're like, we got this Jesus guy, he's bleeding, just a bleeding skinny white guy.

And they're like, what did his mom look like? And they're like, I don't know. She looked all right. And they're like, we're into that. We're doing Mary. We're going to put her on all the candles and shit. They're trying to chisel out the marble to see what she's got under there. Let's take a look at this.

See what she's rocking under this. Somebody in the chat says, Mary's 14. I'm not the one obsessed with Mary. That's the Spanish. She's 14. They have that giant, God's a pedophile? What? No, no, no.

I don't see how, like, I don't see how Catholics, whatever, Jesus people, can even look you in the eyes when their Pope is out there saying, like, you got to let in immigrants and you got to do gay shit and all kinds of stuff. Like, what is, give me a break. Just like, get out of here. That's Catholics. No, they're all the same. They're all the fucking same. No, no, the Christians don't always go for the Pope. Now you're going to be telling you there's two types of Muslims.

Right, right. Well, at one point it was, man. That was a big thing for when John F. Kennedy ran. Everyone's like, whoa, we can't have a Catholic president. And you can't. That's what we learned there. They had a whole song where, did you ever hear the Kennedy campaign song? No.

And there's a whole verse talking about like, hey, I know he's Catholic, but, you know, it's America. And you're like, Jesus Christ, they really, back then they really did not like Catholics. Or it's like, yeah, well, you know, anybody could be president. Even those filthy Catholics. That was disgusting, yeah. Hmm. It's a good song. Well, that's my problem.

Let me get back to these comments. Turkey sandwich, Vito is 100% right with his lion tamer analogy. And that's pretty much exactly what I said about the day Kirk got shot. He didn't deserve it. Okay. Well, just stop right there. He didn't deserve it. Did he put it in a...

Oh, you put it in quotes? Quotes. Again, man, I can't believe people are going to these college campuses. It's like, uh, all the, all these leftists are sitting around coming up with fun slogans to write on their bullets for some reason. That's their new favorite thing. Yeah, it's pretty cool. Fuck, that should have been my voted up guys who need to carve shit into things.

Remember that problem? It's not cool. What are you going to, like, okay. So they find the bullet casing and it, what did it say? like ooh-woo or some shit for Charlie Kirk's fucking. Yeah, look at the Bole. Look at the wiener. Look at the ladies wiener or something like that. Look at the ladies. If you look at this, you're gay.

Yeah, that was funny. That's pretty good, actually. Yeah, that's pretty good. To read this, you're gay. I still can't believe that guy left his gun in the woods, and that was his undoing. Or you're like, bro, he might have actually gotten away. No, it was writing a love note to his trans wife and all kinds of other shit and everyone knowing him. That was when he admitted to it later, but he admitted to it because he got, cornered because he's just dad and grandpa

were calling him going, hey, where's our gun? Because the one on the news looks like ours. And he's like, oh, I don't know. Should have got a new gun. Blue for sure is right. Vito still owes me $100. C.J. Peed. I never know if Vito is serious when he spouts this insane bullshit.

Death fab. I like how Vito had Lion Tamer metaphor, but Dick's problem of guys that don't apologize went over his head. Just me said Vito defending the Kirk situation is how so much of the sane left feel, in quotes. it's wild and I honestly thought the extremes were crazy

what is defending the situation I'm not defending the situation you're kind of like making it cool that he was killed like you're talking about dairy queen and stuff a lot of people did enjoy the brownie blasted comment

yeah you're like it's cool everybody you don't don't think about it it's not cool but like man like we I don't know I'm just I guess I'm just desensitized at this point you're happy you're desensitized to joy Some CIA operative gets to go to Vegas

and just be like, ah, fuck it and just shoot up like a million people at a fucking concert or whatever. And then I got to be shocked that a gay guy was so horny for his trans roommate that he wanted to shoot Charlie Kirk. I'm like, no, that tracks. That tracks with what's going on in this country.

How does that track? It's just like, if you said, hey, there was a shooting yesterday, I'd be like, well, it's either, you know, a guy who's mad. Of course there was Yeah Okay, they're just shooting every fucking day Yeah

But if you gave me like a piece of paper And it had 10 different shooting scenarios on him And one of them was A political assassination Yeah, a political assassination Gay guy wanted his trans roommate To blow him You had that thing

You had that in the office pool You'd have said, got it, I nailed that If it was like a family feud And top five answers on the board That would not be in there I think it would be in there I think it would be be, yeah, that'd be top five. It'd be like, I'm not saying it'd be number one.

It wouldn't be top. No, it wouldn't be top. No, I'd be top. Number one, I'd be like, I'd be like, white supremacist mad at a white erasure. Boom, number, you know. Oh, you're saying, you're saying why there was political violence? It'd be like, a guy got shot. Who shot him? Top five answers on the board. Black guy would be number one. Yeah, 100%. Dang, game over. 98 out of 100. Game over. The only perfect score is. Banner and Family Feud. And Steve Harvey's mustache would catch on fire. And then they cut to the black family across from me playing the game.

They're all just frowning and they're like, God damn it. No, they're getting arrested. One of them is getting arrested because it was him. Trash Pandas is top left of Vito's black shirt. triangle voted up really you get a there yeah look there's my there's the triangle pedophile stuff that's the Azoresa symbol for magic the gathering

king caprici says Vito must make a video explaining his beliefs about Mr. Beast an excruciating detail with relevant information that can back up his claims what do you think about that I think I would paint a target on my back for his regime The Beast The year of the Beast

Is coming You don't want a bunch of little kids Coming at you I think Mr. Beast I think Mr. Beast will seize Some sort of political power At some point And start eliminating his enemies

Make a video about it There's a lot of Mr. Beast hate out there That's true I could capitalize on that But the problem is most of the Mr. Beast hate Is he had a trans person Who owned some Shadman art I'm like well that's less interesting

Make it interesting, man. The fact that he's a psychopath murderer. Yeah, do that. Do lots of like hard copy stuff like, you know, kids haven't seen that. So it's like, like black and white, you know? Okay, let's put it this way. If poisoning the wells would have gotten Mr. Beast more views,

he would have poisoned them. Like, that's his operating mindset. He only does good because it rewards him with attention. But he poisoning those wells would have been. If he could go to an African village in Oakland, Open fire with a machine gun and get 40 million views. He would equally do that. It's on the exact same spectrum for him.

Mr. Beast would get 40 million views by going to an African village and shooting everyone with an M16. I don't know what you're talking about. So he doesn't do that. Well, but I'm saying, you know, like, they would be negative views. It would hurt his brand. If everyone is like cheering. Oh, I see. Like, like, if I could tell, if you could tell him like, hey, you can make this video of murdering a bunch of fucking villagers and everybody's going to love it.

he wouldn't hesitate, he'd go, well, if that's what the audience wants, I'm in. Like, that's it. That's his only guiding purpose. What are you talking about? Like, he has no moral compass other than the will of the majority. Who does you? Who has a moral compass? But I'm saying, that's like some fucking Hitler shit.

That's like Hitler goes, we've got to kill all the Jews. And everybody's like, yeah, okay. And because they were all in it. Everyone was like, oh, whatever you say. If Mr. Beast existed in fucking. in World War II Germany, he would be making live streams of going to the fuck fucking at it and dragging

Anne Frank out and throwing her in a fucking oven and he'd go, okay guys, don't forget to like and subscribe because that's like that he, that's him. That's what he is. He can't talk. He can't talk at all. Like he's a terrible orator. He'd put all the Jews on that train

and then he crashed the train into a hole that he built and crashed 50 Tesla's into it. Okay, like that's what he would have done. It would be a cool video, but The ghetto rig says Vito's frozen vegetables Better Than Fresh Vegetable Take is somehow the worst take he's ever had There's a lot of debate on that Now they are they are more nutritional

There's more nutrition packed into them But I will agree there's a potential for The freezing process can rupture the cell walls of the What are you reading that right now? No no no no no no no like they do they do they can taste a little bit different, but they are better for you, and honestly... Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, how?

What do you mean nutritional? How are they better for you? Because they're frozen at peak ripeness, whereas... How's that effect the nutrition? As something loses its... I think that it's... Mark Lars? Yeah.

I believe that, yeah, I believe the nutritional value of something goes down as like the shit inside it starts decaying. Am I crazy? I mean, I don't know. You're the fucking nutritionist. You're the one that said it. I believe it's better. And, uh, because they ship the produce to the store, you know, about to go rip and then they spray it with, like, some shit to make it ripen in the store.

Yeah. I don't know, man. I was just reading some stuff. Um, get a bag of frozen asparagus spears. You didn't believe me that they have frozen asparagus spears. I'm not eating frozen vegetables thawed out and cooked. They taste gross. Are you with talking?

Why not? What are you talking about? Because they're all mushy. I'm just. going to buy the one sprayed with the pesticide. Get the vegetables that you like being mushy. Like, like, do you care? Potatoes?

Like corn? Yeah, like potatoes. Yeah, you do frozen potatoes? No. I got a bag of frozen O'Brien potatoes, and I cook them in a pan with a little oil. Fucking incredible. Oh, Brian potatoes? What's that?

O'Brien potatoes. Those are potatoes with peppers and onions. Okay. It's an Irish. it's an Irish thing Yeah Formick says Dick talking about

Frozen Vegetables explains so much of his issues You cannot be that dense over frozen vegetables Joe Shmo says Freezing prevents

Loss of B vitamins and Vitamin C Boom Oh fuck I need God I fucking need my B vitamins and vitamin C

How can I get more B vitamins Um Especially now You're getting older You're gonna have bone loss soon. You've got to be getting that vitamin that's for women.

Men have prostate problems. Guys lose bone density. You gotta stay up with your vitamin C? I don't think so. I don't think guys lose bone density. Are your bones feeling dense? My bones are feeling pretty dense, yeah. Yeah. I don't test it. My bones are dense as fuck.

That's why I can't leave weight. Well, yeah, I believe that. It's all bones. Like you can't have a dog chew on like a cow femur. It'll break his teeth. I got bones for days. I think I got extra bones. What do you... Uh, why don't we vote it up, Dick. I heard

there was a special place... This is Pink Pony Club. All the racist boys and girls on the internet. A show that's never gonna end. We're the white supremacist and Tim Rogers' best friend.

Johnny's up our cheese. Too many trench athletes. Anti-walk marketing Airbnb cleaning fees The 5th floor a foot long The cost goes to Chinese And then the N word drops Why mom walks in on me

Boy, what have you done? You're a hateful and sell And you never get played this way I'll say Mom, I'm just having fun The voice modulation is on point Is it modulated? It's kind of got like an electronic quality to it.

This is a wonderful song. Please send it to work. Oh, I love that. Go vote it up. Go vote it up. Vote it up, folks. The exciting segment where we take a look at World News and how it relates to this podcast. Dick, for episode 30, is the problem that I think is.

near and dear to all of our hearts. It's the problem of nuclear war. Oh. And we're at how scared we are of the nukes flying. Right. Well, Dick, who are you most worried about having the nukes? Israel. No, no, we love them. We want them to have all the nukes. They're our favorite. Okay, who then? Oprah. North Korea. Oh. is close to developing an intercontinental ballistic missile that could hit the United States with a nuclear weapon according to the South Korean president. Oh, wow.

Is he telling the truth? Or is he just trying to get a little money. Yeah, great. Hey, guys, they're building a missile over here. You better send it some money. I don't know. That's how South Korea talks. That's how the president sounds, actually.

It's interesting. Hey, we see him all there. We got a nuclear missile. He'll have a nuclear missile. We got to watch out for all the nuclear material that North Korea. He discrossed. He desecrossed to build the American missile. BBM in a continental mission.

North Korea has been ramping up its missile testing since talks between Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un collapsed in 2019. Damn it. Dismid disagreements over U.S.-led sanctions. Trump has said repeatedly since returning the opposite, he'd like to resume diplomacy with Kim Jong-un. North Korea is believed to possess up to two tons of highly enriched uranium with four uranium centrifuges in operation. As the North Korean president says, if this is allowed to continue, North Korea will begin adding 15 to 20 nuclear warheads to his arsenal each year. And the excess nuclear weapons could be, you know, sold off to other people who don't like the United States. So we got to keep an eye.

Like me. Yeah, like, can I get one of those? What if Antifa gets one? That would be bad. They would drop it on themselves. What are they going to do with it? Yeah, they'd fuck it up somehow. Point is, Dick, we're closer than ever to the North Koreans.

Nuking us all. We have to hope that Donald Trump will get in there. Go hang out with our buddy. Just give it to a man. Like, what's going to happen when aliens come to Earth? And they're like, hey, what's up? We're aliens. Like, we have, like, spaceships and stuff.

Are we going to go, we're going to say, hey, aliens, nice to meet you. Can we have, like, can we have some of your technology? Don't give it to North Korea, though. Don't give it to those guys, though. Yeah. I don't know that there's certain countries that you guys should not give your alien technology, too. So stupid. The whole thing is so dumb.

Well, hopefully nothing happens. I think we were establishing good relationships with North Korea. Remember when a... What do you call it? The basketball man went over there. Rodman. Rodman, Dennis Rodman, of course. What happened to that?

He was like our... It was like our emissary. I don't know. I think they're doing just fine over there. They seem to be having a good time. The North Koreans? Yeah. Well, you know, they haven't been kicking up too much of a fuss.

They're crying with happiness every time I see them. It looks like an amazing place to be... They're having a real good time. Remember when they kidnapped that? Remember that one kid tried to take a poster? and then they sent him back with his brain missing. Oh, really? They, they, uh,

auto lamb beer. You don't remember that story? No. He was like, it was like a guy, I think he was like Christian or Mormon or something, and he went over there on like a, like,

ooh, it'll be a fun trip. Poster stealing adventure. Yeah, and then like on the way he was about to leave, he's like wandering around the hotel. He's like, that'd be a cool poster to take.

And he took the poster. And then North Korea went, you're sentenced to a million years of jail for taking that fucking poster. you're like oh man I really wish you had to take in that poster Jesus Christ and they put him in jail

Now that's that's Lion Tamers You go to North Yeah you're going to North Korea Fucking or like If you go to North Korea The whole time you just got to go I think he should have said Guys you don't understand

I love North Korea so much That I wanted that poster Because I wanted to remember I love it What's the fucking point? Go somewhere nice Like South Korea

I understand disaster tourism as an aficionado myself. You know, you want to see what's going on, the city underbelly. What underbelly? You see a bunch of fake cities. Seeing fake cities is kind of interesting. I've never seen a fake city before. Let's go to Universal Studios. That's true.

I like Universal Studios. I like seeing that stuff. Okay. I like the studio Thor. All right. Anyway, that's the problem, nuclear war. Currently number 88 with 521 upvotes. forget to vote it up.

Guys, from episode 211, the problem of dead celebrity endorsements. It can't be from episode 211. That doesn't make any sense. From episode 52, I assume.

This is the idea that people are dead and selling us stuff. Well, Dick, one of the most beloved figures in comic books is returning. Do you know who it is?

White Lightning. White Lightning is back. Who the fuck is white flame? He gets his powers from cocaine. Oh, I don't know him. Marvel comic book superhero creator Stan Lee will be returning to the L.A. Comic Con in holographic form. Yeah, he would like that. He's shilling even in death.

Dude, he would love that. Tell me he wouldn't like that. You almost have a point that he was a famous huckster that would enjoy the idea that this was going on. He's outselling anyone even while he's dead. Even while he's dead. He would love that. He would fucking love that. And it's like computers and shit.

And he doesn't have to smell. I'll tell you why it's a little bit of a problem, okay? Okay. Fans can interact with a hologram of Lee who died in 2018 at the age of 95. Wow. In an enclosed booth at the L.A. Convention Center. He died in an enclosed booth? No, I'm saying that's where his hologram will be.

Oh. It'll be pretty horrible if it's the booth he died in a Comic Convention. They go, yeah, now there's a hologram in there. Be cool. Fans will be able to meet and have a conversation with the hologram with tickets costing between $15 and $20 for a three-minute chat. So you pay $20 and you get to sit down with Stanley's hologram and go, what do you think about?

What do you think about Iron Man? No, he doesn't take his shirt off. What the fuck are you going to talk to Stanley's ghost about really? What are you going to have a conversation about? Why are you at Comic-Con? What do you mean? What are you going to talk to his ghost? about. The same shit you're going to talk to the real him about.

I feel like you can just go on like any of these AI chat sites and get the same fucking thing. It's like you're talking, whatever. But what's the point of even going there? Who would win in a fight? The Flash or the Hulk? Or herpes? Herpes. Yeah. I don't think it'd answer that. Can the Flash outrun herpes? Can he vibrate his body? Can he vibrate the herpes out of his body? Perhaps. Yeah, that'd be cool. Would he answer stuff like that? They say that he won't

They're saying nothing he'll answer They've like fed in all this Stanley Speeches or whatever That's supposedly perfectly authentic Would Superman have stopped the Nazis From burning all the sex change books I don't think he would answer that Would he answer that?

I would imagine he would go Well you know a lot of things happened But keep your eyes on the stars That's Leonard Nimoy That's not Stanley here's why it's a little weird legally cartoon studios Cartoon of the K

acquired the rights to Lee's name and physical likeness as part of an exclusive deal with POW Entertainment but before his death in 2018 Lee tried to sue them claiming the company conspired to fraudulently steal his name and likeness and benefit financially at his expense

but then he died so the lawsuit kind of fizzled out yeah and now just some guys now just some guys own his name well fuck him Who cares? It's kind of in the long-standing tradition

The Fantastic Four suck Well he did other stuff than the Fantastic Four Yeah but he just basically Like that's the first thing he did Yeah People liked it back then They thought it was fun All the other stuff was like a partnership

But he did Fantastic Four And he did Fantastic Four is fucking stupid I can I think at the time Fantastic Four was exciting for people It felt new You know It was like a whole family

I don't fucking know That's dumb. He did Hulk. You were like Hulk, right? No, Hulk's dumb, too. He made Spoidaman. Spider-Man's cool. Did he really make that, though?

Yeah. Well, I think he wrote it, and then what's his name? Ditko Drew it. You know, I'm sure they influenced each other. I like the drawing. I don't like the writing on Spider-Man. Well, I mean, if he came up with like Uncle Ben dying, all that shit, that's pretty pivotal to the character.

I don't like that part. I like that he goes like, and he's, like, he's always like, boing, bringing off things. Yeah. He's like, boing, and I like those little wings that he's got under his armpits.

That's cool. Those are cool. Yeah. Did you ever, uh, do you ever look up Steve Ditko, the original Spider-Man artist? No,

I'm like, uh, straight with like a family and a job. I don't look up, uh, I wouldn't look something like that. He was super, he was super into,

uh, Ann Rand. He was big into objectivism. Yeah. Yeah, which is why he kind of left Spider-Man because he was like, uh,

they're like, hey, what do you call it? Norman Osborne's going to be the green goblin and he's like impossible and they're like, what do you mean? He's like, he's a powerful businessman he can only be good. Like that's a force for good in the world. He can't secretly be evil. That's cool.

Yeah. So then he made this character that you would like called Mr. A and Mr. A just goes, morality can be broken down into good and evil and that's it. He's like a gay magician? Mr. A? Mr. No, no, no. He's like a, he's like a detective. He's like He's like the riddler, but gay. My name's

Mr. A. I've got some mister A's for you. He doesn't say it like that. He's a very straight-laced, uh, is it not mystery? Are you not saying mystery? Like a gay person? It's Mr. A. Mr. A. Yeah. Yeah. Hey. Well, the idea, the idea of my mysteries. It's the Randian idea that A is always A. A is never B. Black is always black. White is always white. There are no shades of gray. I would like to burn all of these books. All these sorts of. ideas. It's a little late. It's a little late.

It's never too late to burn them all. That's what... I think you would like Mr. A. He just ruthlessly executes criminals. Mr. I. Yeah. I think he'd like Mr. A. Anyway...

Ein Rand, there's another woman put in charge. Women put in charge. You don't even put in charge. She, like, made her own thing. Libertarianism. No. No.

I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you ever read any of those of Ann Rand books? Do you ever read any of those books? No, they seem retarded. Too many people like them. Yeah. Doesn't Elon Musk love one of them?

Somebody's obsessed with Anne Rand, I forget who. Anyway, uh, that's how I turned to sound trans. Too much, Ayn Rand. And then they made, you know, they made a movie? They made Atlas Shrugged Part 1, and they thought like, ah, this is going to take off. And then we'll get to make a second one. You're like, what are you retarded? Nobody was going to see Atlas Shrugged the movie.

I bought a Billy Joel songbook. It was Volume 1. Like Billy Joel's greatest hits, Volume 1. I said, why is it Volume 1 and 2? This doesn't even have all the good Billy Joel songs. He goes, yeah, no one ever comes back and buys Volume 2, so we don't have it. It's a good gimmick. Well, it's not, because I wanted all the good songs.

I didn't want half good songs and then half crap. Did you get Piano Man? Yeah, that was Page 1. Well, there you go. That's all you need. There's a couple more. I don't know. Did you get a, for the longest time?

No. Oh, well, then you did get, then you did that they did fuck you. Because that's number two, I would say. I know they sucked me. Yeah, you got fucked. Okay. Dead celebrity endorsements, that's it. Currently number, uh, something, 211.

Vote it up. All right. I already did my problem, so. I got to do a problem. Yeah. All the racist boys and girls On the internet A show

That's never gonna end We're the white Supremises I got the point I got it Chinese are horridgees Too many trench athletes Antioch marketing

Airbe cleaning fees The 5th 4 foot long The Costco's two Chinese And then the N word drops Why mom walks in on me Oh I thought it was a different song

I have no idea what song I thought it was firework Firework No Vote up all the problems You jerk I think we did fireworks already Sounds like silence of the land

I do know this song But I don't remember what the original is Me too. I know this song, too, but I don't remember either. Is this some Taylor Swift shit? Isn't that Taylor Swift one where she's, like, invisible in a hallway, sucking everybody's dick? What? Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's, like, dancing like a retard down the hallway,

and she keeps, like, trying to suck everybody's dick. Oh, it's Pink Pony Club. Yeah, that makes sense. Oh, I thought that was the name of the guy that made it. No, Pink Pony Club is the name of the song. Stinger Brottwurst then made it. At the Pink Pony Club. Vote up Stinger Brotwurst.

Bratworth made it. Okay. Fantastic. All right. What's your problem? All right, here's my problem, Dick. Today, I was out and about. I went to the Olive Garden.

It's got my breadstick bag right here. Big fan. Currently, never-ending postable. So take advantage. What? What if fend you about the idea of never-ending postable? Uh... Well...

the olive garden part first when's the last time you went to the olive garden oh maybe 15 years ago maybe more really

yeah so what you what was your experience it was bad yeah it's like it's terrible it's not good it's like sugar it's like as far as like

fast food goes it's like 15 bucks you can like taste the trough that it came out of I like the soup the soup is good Yeah.

Bread sticks are not that good. As far as trough eating goes, it's okay. It's great trough eating. They got a good menu. They got a good menu maze. Help Ollie the Ollie get to dinner. That was fun. I don't think they have that anymore.

Why would they replace that? You have to put the old garden in a while. Now they got that thing on the table. Your kid's going to have to deal with this. They've fucking, they got the tablet on the table. And it's like, do you want to play a game? Will you wait for your food or whatever? They have a tablet on the table?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how you pay your bill. with the, they go, oh, just, you got to use the tablet. Dude, we live in hell. We live in fucking hell. They have a tablet on every table? Yeah, so you can add $1.99 to your fucking bill so the kid can play Crossy Road

and not bother you during your Olive Garden experience. And there's no crayons, I'm guessing. I didn't ask. I don't think so. I think they make your kid play on the fucking tablet. Oh, this. That kid goes, Dad, I could be playing. I could be playing on this thing.

You got to put a dollar in. Yeah. Well, that explains why I haven't been to the Olive Garden in 15 years. Well, there you go. Yeah. Here's the actual problem, Dick. I go to park at the Olive Garden. And wouldn't you know it?

There's all these parking spots in front. And I go, perfect. Look at all this fantastic parking. So I start pulling into a parking spot. And then I see a sign that says, warning, this parking is for curbside to go. majesty express customers only. And there's like 50 of these fucking things and none of them are being used. Dick, my problem is fake parking spaces.

What is going on in this country? Okay? Every time I go anywhere now, you go, oh, that's a great spot. And then there's some sign with some cockamamie app bullshit where it's like, this is the Target Express super pump line. Go on to the Target Fun Time app. and I'm like, and nobody's using the fucking app. God, fucking Home Depot is like that too.

There's 20 spots. They're never full. And they give them just like, they give them wide, wide berth. I don't know why. Home Depot and Best Buy are also like that. I guess everything's like that. Dude, put like one of them, maybe two. But you're right.

You go to the Home Depot and there's like 50 of these fucking like, it's curbside parking, whatever the fuck. And I'm like, who's using this? Clearly not enough people to dedicate half your parking lot to this. Well, because it takes forever. If you go there to pick up an order and dial it in, it's like, all right, now I've got to wait for this idiot. Now I've got to wait for some short, fat Mexican woman to come out here with my... And then it's in my head where I go, is anyone actually policing this?

Like, if I park here, is it actually going to be a problem? Are they going to tow me? No, they don't tell you? No. I would assume not, but then I'm like, they're not going to tell you. Maybe they would. You don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I know. They're not going to tell you. Come on. Well, I remember when they had Toys R Us, they had exclusive, because it was also Babies or Us. So they had exclusive parking in the front that said, you made it so much worse. Well, because the reason they had it was it said it's for pregnant women only.

I said, once I get out of the car, they don't fucking know if a pregnant lady parked or not. What are you doing at Babies R Us? I was going to Toys R Us. It's a two part. Toys R Us had video games and shit. What do you mean? That magic cards. Of course I went to Toys R Us.

You were telling me You never went to Toys R Us for anything I took my nephew to Toyser Us And that's it They have video games You want to buy the new video game You used to go to fucking Toys R Us They'd have like

Electronics Boutique They haven't had electronics boutique In like 15 years either Grandpa Oh when I went to the Olive Garden They had cranes They can't give you kids those Of course I went to Toys R Us

They had an entire adult collectibles section. Get your magic cards. So you're upset at the pregnant lady parking at the Baby's RS? No, the pregnant lady parking was great because I could get away with it. Because once you park the car, they're not monitoring who gets in or out. They go, that pregnant lady must be having a good time in there.

But the curbside to go, fucking Chili's Express, whatever the fuck. You know, that they would know. They go, well, you can't park there that long. You pick up the Blumen Onion and you go. Right. They got it at the mall. Even like, it's like Uh. The To-Go parking is

ridiculous. Dude, they have it for like JC Penny or some shit. I'm like oh, these are some good spots and like JC Penny Super Sweeper Express Lane and I'm like I'll do you all have this? Can we just park? What is this? It's fucking bullshit

man. Yeah. Too many, too many fake parking spaces. Have you tried using it? Have you tried using the deliver my food or deliver my stuff out to my car? The only place I use it is at the McDonald's. I use the curbside at the McDonald's. How often do you use that?

Once a week, maybe. I don't know, once every other week. Yeah, once a week. Get some McDonald's. That's because if you go to McDonald's and you use the app, you can actually get the deals. All the deals are on the app. Yeah, and you can't not.

You have to use the screen when you go in anyway. Yeah, exactly. It's the same thing, so you might as well do it on your phone and then you check. And it's like, it's always some weird thing where it's like the Dodgers hit a home run in the fourth. So everybody gets six free chicken. Nuggets. I'm like, okay, fine. And then you just add that to your fucking card. Why do you have attitude about free chicken nuggets?

Because the Dodgers won. Because every time I check, I'm like, do the Dodgers ever not win me free chicken nuggets? Well, yeah, it's an exciting, it's an exciting thing that happens. It's a good. At the Dodgers game, yeah. Thank you for winning me chicken nuggets, Dodgers. I appreciate it deeply.

But again, at the McDonald's, they only got like four spaces. They're not, you know, the rest of the parking lot, there's plenty of spaces. And people actually use those because they bring the food out and then you leave. Nobody's using the Chili's to go, whatever the... Like, it's Chili's. Just park. Go and get the food and come out. You're telling me you don't...

You've never ordered Chili's to go or Chili's delivered to you. I've ordered Chili's delivered to me, yes, but I've never used the Chili's to go. You save $10. You get it faster. Why not do that? I mean, maybe there's a deal. I don't know in the fucking app. I don't know.

You don't have the app? For Chili's? I don't think so. I'm not getting... What about Olive Garden? Chili's prices have gotten a little intense. Oh, it's too high?

Yeah, no, I don't have the Olive Garden app either. You gotta get on the Olive, man. Jersey Mikes. I do that. I'm a member of the Shorn Club. They don't have special parking, though. Jersey Marks...

They don't have special parking, no. No. They need an emergency shit parking space. That would be good, yeah. I got to take a dumper. Yeah. Let me park right here

I'm busy dumping And then when you come back You have to put a piece of toilet paper on the thing To prove what you did Gross Clean toilet paper Okay is that your Big parking spaces

None of it's clean Okay The bottom line Um All right my problem is Not enough Tylenol Yeah Can't get enough

Can't get enough man You see all these All these chicks overdosing on Tylenol? To prove... What is Tylenol? Is that... Cidaminophin?

Cidaminophin? It's poison. I do... It's poison for babies. You do ibuprofen? It doesn't matter what you take. You're not a pregnant woman or a baby. Well...

But for babies, it's toxic. Gives you autism. Makes you retarded. Did you know that? That's what they're saying. That's what Harvard's saying. That's what Tylenol is saying. All the autism comes from Tylenol now.

We gotta ramp it up, man We gotta get these liberals taking more Tylenol Get their kids nice and retarded In Venice some spaceships And computers that could see through time That kind of thing Sex robots I don't think the autistic kids are doing that so much

There will be one I think we wish they were doing that Maybe if they take enough Tylenol It's because there's not enough Tylenol All the autistic kids are on Discord servers Trading cat boy pictures of each other and talking about which political figure they want to murder next.

I think that's what's going on with the autistic kids. Enough Tylenol into the Discord circuit to give these guys superpowers. That's what I'm saying. Now that we know, Tylenol causes autism.

We have the technology. We have the technology. We have women who are stupid enough to take as much as they can get their hands on, even though it's a toxic autistic poison, right? we have them. What was the actual announcement? Did RFK make like an announcement?

Or was it just kind of like... It's that Tylenol might cause autism a little bit. And that... Tylenol might cause autism a little bit. And that women take it like fucking candy, especially fat ones. And that Tylenol themselves said, yeah, it might cause autism.

We don't think pregnant women should take it. RFQ is trying to get rid of the abortion pill, so that's fun. I don't even know what he said. He's just doing it. He fixed autism and that's your response? He's trying to get rid of the abortion pill? I'm trying to look up what he said about the fucking...

You don't know? I'm trying to look up what he said about the Tylenol. I'll read you what Tylenol said about the Tylenol. The weight of the evidence... This is what they said in private. This is just released today. They said this shit back in 2016 or 2018. The weight of the evidence is starting to feel heavy to me.

We're talking with a lady and neurologist in CNS today. Originally, I thought it was to talk about the biologic plausibility of the benefit of acetaminophen. But now we've added the studies in prenatal exposure and neuro-dev outcome. It looks like there's a bunch of papers from 2016 that we somehow missed. You know, he didn't miss it. Those kids that got autism. They didn't miss it. So the announcement was...

What are you trying to defend them? I'm trying to learn about this. so there was a link between acetaminin use and autism. You know what they give little babies after they cut their dicks off when they were little babies? What do they give them? What do they give them?

Guess what they get when they take their little wieners and give them a little snip to circumcise them? Guess what they pump them full of? Oh, Tylenol. All Tylenol. Let's see. The link was recently evaluated

in a Harvard Mount Sinai analysis. of 46 previous studies that I didn't... Let's see. Instead of highlight... There's a slightly increased risk. Slightly increased risk. But did not find a casual link.

Well, you know, it's not getting shot in the head, but yeah. It's taking a chemical you don't need. It could be participating, but it's not like the main reason, I think, is why people are getting autism. Oh, okay. God. God is the main reason. But number two, it's time.

He's punishing you for something you did in your life and saddling you with an autistic child. But the second one would be Tylenol. My father would say that all the time. He'd say, oh, the reason I got an autistic kid is because God's punishing me. I'm like, all right, dad. Did he believe that? Yeah, he was fucked. He believed in God?

Only when it was convenient for him. Yeah, him and everybody else. Yeah. So there you go. I've never met anybody or heard of anyone that believed in God 100% of the time. Yeah. Only when he needed

to complain about the burden of his autistic child. You go, well, that's God for you. That's God for you. That's God for you. Parents raised the alarm in 2008. Doctors flagged it by 2012. Execs were calling it urgent in case this goes to press. How about that? Isn't that crazy?

Isn't that crazy that RFK saved so many kids from getting autism? He stopped the autism. Isn't that crazy? They're saying he might go after Ozimic and Prozac next. He's going to lock it down. Make the fat people and the

women miserable. Take all their stuff. Take their Ozympic. Take their Prozac. Take their lifetime movies. Lifetime channel causes autism too. You're going to take that. Take that away from them. I got to stand about Mexicans. Let me see.

Do Mexicans have more or less? autism. This is what Google said. Which countries have the lowest rates of autism? Probably Somalia. They probably don't test for it, huh? How would you test for that? How would you test?

64% of Mexican mothers reported taking acetaminophen compared to 80% of non-Hispanic white mothers. Leading the what do you call it? Japan has the most autistic people.

Oh, what? No, it doesn't. It does. Japan's kicking our ass. We don't have enough talent, man. That's my problem. Out of 100,000 people, 150 Americans will have autism, where 1450 Japanese will have it. I don't even, I'm so not autistic. I don't even hear those numbers. I assume the Japanese people are getting the good autism

where they're good at making little electronics and shit, and we're getting the bad autism. We don't have enough of it We need to take every Woman that's born And start feeding her Tylenol From the day she's born Yeah

So we could cure that You know Well it's It's the mother's taking the Tylenol I don't think is it giving it to the kids Is giving it a lot? Just give it to them From the moment you figure out the gender

Pump that mother full of Tylenol And then the little baby woman pops out boom hit her with the time what do you want what do you want autistic women what is the purpose of that because they're not as annoying something to focus on yeah like here you go stare at a light bulb or a train yeah go figure something out have some hobbies you know and something something give some hobbies yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i could tune out an autistic woman because it's all the same tone oh yeah like okay tune it out we're just gotta like you know we got to get back to Handicap People tricks.

Like, that was the best period in human history. We went like, hey, you're, like, disabled or fucked up or whatever. And it's like, so we're going to teach you how to do, like, cool, stupid stuff, you know, like, do a little show, like, dance for Nichols. Not masturbating. Anything but that. Not masturbating. Yeah. Well, you can't stop it for masturbating.

Something else to do with your hands. Juggling. It's a, you know, that's a bit, that was a big question in the health care community of, uh, what do we do with retarded people? who want to jack off. Really? Because, yeah, well, because they're like... Was that in the health care community or... No, it was in the healthcare community.

Like, there was a period of time in the, I think, the 70s where they produced a bunch of, like, how to jack off, like, videos for retarded people. And, you know, you would, like, be like, here, Jimmy, learn how to jack off. But then they started being, like, okay, well, what if, like, a retarded guy can't use his hands, like, correctly? Like, is it ethical? should we jerk off a retarded patient? Like, do they

ethically... Do they ethically deserve access to sexual pleasure? Or is it more ethical to not jack them off? Okay. And this has been a debate in the medical community for decades. Are these the books that Hitler burned? They're like,

we don't know if we're supposed to jack off retarded people or not. We don't know if it's hurting or harming or like helping or harming, you know? Well, it's helping them. but right but like also like are you forcing them that's the thing is like do you just burst in you go time to jerk you off because then you're like raping them kind of is this like a women this is what women are doing in health care or what this is what this is the the nursing community

yeah nursing nursing community yeah that's great go over there and have that conversation don't bother anyone with it because it's stupid well in japan they have uh they have a they have a support group of like women who go around yeah and spit well yeah but like they call themselves like the white hands or they're uh they're like a non-profit organization that goes to retard themselves horses right right right whatever i think people they're funded by the you know the populace and then they go to retired people's houses and they jerk them off because the retarded people can't jerk themselves off normally and you know this because you're going to pretend to be retarded and go to japan what's the or i could be one of the white hands maybe they have

male members as well it's women doing it gay guys aren't doing this? No, I think it's women doing it. Do the gay guys know about this? Because they're going to be in there taking two retards at a time. Oh, you mean the gay guys want to... I thought you're saying they're going to pretend to be retarded. Why would a gay guy want to get his dick jacked off by a woman?

You're right. So they have to dress as a woman so they can go jack off retarded guys. Gay guys have no problem getting their dicks jacked off. They're looking for more. They're always on the hunt. They're looking for more dicks to jerk off. Yeah, they run out. They're like, oh, fuck.

Well, maybe we could have a transfer program. We could send America's gaze over to Japan to jerk off all the Japanese retards. Hmm. What do we get? I don't know. Anime. We already have that. Too much of that.

Well, it's not a good trade then. Okay. Well, that's my problem. All right. Here's my problem, Dick. There's nothing better in life than letting loose. and shooting a hot stream of a piping hot urine

out your pee hole that warm salty stream coming out feels so satisfying but then Dick you're peeing right you're peeing and you go oh man I'm still peeing

but you keep peeing and you look down and you go Jesus Christ I'm still peeing what's going on here my problem is the never-ending piss I think we've all experienced this where you just don't know what's going on

you're just watching the piss rush out of your body and you're going I don't think it's ever going to stop I think I'm going to be here at this toilet for the next 70 years just pissing because it just keeps coming keeps coming and it's not a forceful stream you know normally you want to piss to be a strong

masculine piss like you know but it's like this weird wimpy feminine trickle of a piss just wait wait wait you lost now you lost you lost everybody now well I'm saying it doesn't feel masculine anymore it's like if somebody caught you like if your buddy

was next to you at the urinal you want to stream you want them to hear like yeah you have a medical issue no no no not all the time it's just sometimes you have that thing where you just like and then you're like you got your hand against the wall because you want to get the rest of it out.

Your prostate is swollen. What are you talking about? And you're just getting like a little burst at time. I mean, you got to do a lot of drugs to do that. It's not all the time. I'm just saying sometimes you have the never-ending piss. It goes on forever. And you're just standing there and you're pissing and you're going, what the fuck did I drink? How am I still pissing? If you're not talking about amphetamines or

cocaine, then you have a prostate issue. You need to go to the doctor and get your prostate checks. Well, it's probably amphetamines then. But I don't think I have a prostate issue. Oh, yeah, you could probably have. I don't know. If you think it's a prostate issue, express one. I've had the never-ending piss well before.

Well, never-ending piss, yeah, but you're talking about this like feminine, like, wimpy stream. That's not good for you. Well, because at a certain point, it's not as strong as it was. It starts to taper off. What? No, it doesn't. Yes, it does. the piss starts off strong and then it's just it's like it's like you know you unleash the hose

and then it's just slowing down to a trickle no that's not good all right well maybe i got to talk to somebody about yeah you got to talk to somebody about people in the chat let me know if you know what i'm talking about i don't think it's unreasonable why do you think they're healthy you got everybody's got a bad problem man you got a bad problem there'll narrow your through. Maybe I got a narrow urea. No, you don't have a King of the Hill problem. You got you got prostate issues. Prostate issues. I got to get my butthole checked. Well, all I'm saying is, you know, look, it doesn't happen very often. It happened once this month. Sounds like it happened today. No, no, no. It happened like a two, three days. Actually,

it happened last week. I was going to do this last week. And then we ended up talking about a young man who was assassinated, a different type of stream. You have, you 100% have a problem. I have prostate problems. Yeah, you have a medical issue. My other problem is when you just smell pennies. Yeah, that's normal. You know, you're just walking around and you're like, man,

everything smells like burning hair and pennies for some fucking reason. Yeah, it's not going to affect your prostate, though. I hate that shit. My problem was when half your face starts drooping uncontrollably. Do you have difficulty maintaining an erection? No, I don't. don't think so. No, you don't think so. What's a maintain an erection is not a

problem? What do you mean? Like for when I'm having what's a normal erection? Nah, just like normal, you know, wake up. Well, a normal erection is as long as I want to have it for. I don't want to have it for that long. As long as I want to have it for. Yeah. And you just don't want to have it after a couple minutes? Like, what's the deal? If I don't want to have it, I'm going to take

care of it and then I don't have it anymore. What do you mean? Take care of it? Yeah. He's jacking off all day. well I don't I don't just randomly get erections if I get erection it's a purposeful act no you should randomly be getting them well I don't I don't typically get a random erection you got a problem you got medical problem man maybe it's a medical problem anyway guys the never-ending I don't know about this kind of pissed Vito's prostate can be the problem as well I'm just saying it's not at a certain point you get like halfway through the piss

you don't have as much of a piss no you're doing you're saying when you do the long piss. You've got a full stream the whole time. I don't feel like it's like limping out like you're talking about. It's just, it's, it's, it's, it's still coming out, but it's not as like wide. I hope it's not going in.

It's not as wide. Like normally, it's like, it's like the spreadsheet and contra is what you start off with. You're just going, do do do do do do do do do do do do do do. And then it slows back down to the default gun where it's just like do, do, do, did, de, de, de, do it. Yeah.

Starts off hard. I don't know. I don't know. Well, let me know. Well, let me know. Normal pissing that you're describing normal pissing. Next time you make a long piss, try to tell me what you feel the velocity is. I've pissed plenty.

I don't need to, I don't need to go experience it again. But you're going to tell me you had a steady velocity. The velocity never dropped off at all. Well, not, not doesn't drop, but not to the, not to a degree that I would notice. Unless there's drugs involved. I think you are, I think you're hearing what I'm saying and you're imagining in your head something crazy. I'm just saying it's still a steady stream

Okay, it's not it's not like Nothing, it's just it's not as forceful as when you start it's like stopping and starting up again, you're saying No, that's only when you get to the end and you really want to push the right But everybody does that A little bits The little, the dribble drink Okay, okay, okay Yeah

The ball drainers, the ball drainers Yeah Because piss is stored in the balls as we all know Hmm Well You should record it I should record it I'll record my piss next time

Just the sound Just the sound People can judge Yeah we will know We'll know Just aim for Even if you try to aim at the side We'll know

Well I got a doctor's appointment It's back till fucking October So hopefully I don't die Between 9 October I just do like a checkup Kind of thing What are you checking What do you think

They're gonna tell you I can see if my blood's turned to hamhawks yet. I want to know exactly. Why are you going to the doctor? Well, we're going to find out. I've managed to avoid diabetes somehow all this time. I figured this will be the time. Last time I went, I didn't have diabetes.

Everybody else has diabetes. Bro, you have type 2 diabetes. You're assuming. Yeah. I didn't have it last time I went to the doctor. You've had it for years. They can tell you if you have diabetes. You don't just secretly have diabetes.

They'll check your blood. They'll tell you have diabetes immediately. Yeah, you got diabetes. That's not how that works. That's not how that works. I told you my buddy's diabetic. Are you going to a blind doctor? It's about to lose his foot.

Yeah. Yeah. That's like extreme diabetes, though. That's like type one. I like that there's different types. It's fun. Well, God gave us one type. And then man gave us the second time.

Man invented the second time. Yeah, man. I don't need... Here's the thing, though, is... How do you look at the doctor when you're, like, going in there? You're like, so, uh, cool. I'm good, right?

I'm good, right? Everything's good. I think my blood pressure's bad. I got to check my blood pressure. What do you... What are you shooting for? I got a blood, I got a blood cuff. They gave me, uh, last time I went,

they said, hey, we got this new pilot program where we're going to give you a blood cuff. Okay. And it's a... And it's a link. up with Wi-Fi to send your vitals to us over the network. Right.

And then they're like, and then after six months you give it back to us. I'm like, okay. Okay. And I've had that thing for like two years now. And I said, do you guys want that thing back? No, I used it. I used it. But they never asked for it back. So now I just have a free blood machine. What did they say

about the results? They said you'd fucked. You just fuck. Keep the machine. You don't have much. You're not long for this world anyway. No, I I had to take potassium for a while to bring my blood down. Oh. Potassium. Does that, like, counteract the help?

Yeah, it helps your blood pressure for some reason. I don't know. I don't know anything about this body. This horrible body I'm trapped in. All things fucking falling apart. I don't know. So the doctor says, what do you hear for? What do you say?

Like, yeah, just like, you know, thought maybe I'd like to know when I'm going to do. Uh-oh. We lose audio. No, it's back. All right. No, I'm just going to go, you know, they weigh you and they're going to go, well, you're kind of fat. And I go, yeah, there you go.

Do they have to bring in a second scale? Like, you got to straddle them? No, they got to, they got to, you know what I hate? Planet Fitness doesn't have scales anymore. It's like infuriating. They don't want you to weigh yourself because they're worried you're going to like, be discouraged or something. Yeah.

Yeah. Maybe. It's stupid. Stupid. Anyway, I'm going to go to the doctor And we'll see What are you going to see? Can you ask the doctor to give you a grade

Like out of 10? It's not going to be good. I'll tell you that. It's not going to be good. Well, I don't be a number. We'll see. We'll see. We'll see what happens.

What are you going to say? I'm not going to say anything. I'm going to say, what do you want me to do? You want to check my blood or whatever? Yeah, but why are you going? Like, what are you going there for? Well, because they check your fucking blood. They check, uh, make sure you...

What do you mean? They check your blood. I got to make sure I got good blood, man. You don't. What are you going to get them to do with your blood? Like, what are they going to say that you want to hear or not hear? I also need to get a referral to a, uh, is it a dermatologist or something? I don't know.

I got to get something cut out of me. Oh, yeah? yeah well that sounds gross man it is good luck good luck all right we'll have fun uh okay that's that is that it yeah that's okay it's women taking over stuff um some sort of a doctor yeah fake parking spaces yeah fake parking spaces the never-ending piss oh man you gotta you gotta tell the doctor you gotta show the doctor this episode I'm sure that's what they want. Yeah, we've been taking over and not enough Tylenol.

Not enough Tylenol. Okay. Go to patreon.com slash biggest problem. We should do a bonus episode this week. Wednesday or Thursday. I don't know what on it. Do you want to do a Pokemon? Did we ever do a Pokemon bonus episode?

It feels like a, it feels like an obvious missing thing in our repertoire. Okay. Pokemon. Because you like Pokemon. Love them. And I like Pokemon. I think.

So they have them at Babies R.S? They don't have Babies R.S anymore. Oh, they don't? Oh, they bring, actually they have Toys R Us again now. Too many creeps. Oh, they do? They have Toys R Us again? Some places.

I don't know if they're just pop-ups or what. Probably. You never enjoyed going to Toys R Us for any reason? When I was a kid? Yeah. Not as an adult. No. Well, let me, let me be clear.

You used to get good clearance deals on the video games. Man. That does not appeal to me at all in the slightest. Poys R Us exclusive title. Yeah. Okay. Are you there? Oh, fucking video game.

What does that say? Why don't you just burn $34? What is the difference? This is the limited edition Bayblade Toys R Us edition for the Nintendo DS. It was only at Toys R Us. So what, now it's just sitting there? Yeah, well, I got to get all the versions. And then what?

Then I'll be happy. This is the only at Target edition. Listen, man, there's four versions of Bayblade. They're very hard to get. Very hard to get. Good investment. All right, are we reading some... And they each come with a different bay blade.

What the hell is a Bayblade? What? You don't know what a bayblade is? No. Bro, bayblades are back in a big way. You got to get into Bayblades. Is it a fidget spinner? No, it's not a fidget spinner.

What does it look like? It's an attack top. So you put them in an arena. Oh, yeah. Okay, I know those. Yeah. Attack bat. But now, dude, Bayblades coming back.

It's big. So what do you play that with a bunch of kids? What do you mean? There's an entire, there's an entire meta. So you assemble your top from different pieces. And certain pieces are banned. because they make your top too powerful. And there's like attack-type bayblades.

Like, battle-bots, but gay? Yeah, well, you got to pick your spinner and, like, your body and your attack ring. It's like three parts. Wait, that's not a video game what you were showing me? It's a top? That one comes with a physical bayblade. So there's a physical version, and then there's a game version of the physical version. And the game is just making fake tops and playing with them.

The video game is making fake tops. The physical game is making actual top. Okay. Dude, you've got to watch a video on the evolving Bayblade meta and why, like, all right. Why Goldar's attack spin is no longer allowed in tournament play. Sounds good. Because it was too aggressive and destroyed the other tops.

Coup for two. Thank you for not killing yourselves. The Pope for 10. Vito, please say gay boy is your best friend. He's dying. I love gay boy. I love him. He's my favorite.

Vito Stitz for five. Pray tell sire, have you heard about thine mind goblinies? perhaps you mind goblinies nuts spider eternal for two veto upgrade your internet you need to be 1080p boss hog for three dollars sb for five if only they could have an audio engineer to hang out on vito's side for these hiccups sean shon potty should do something about this pineapple man for two shout out to bagg schmidt and cardinal johnny rocking for five veto is blocking deleting superchats sstv not again sarah gardner for two rick has your son got colic yes sounds like it not mothman for five at this point, I don't remember what a high fidelity Vito sounds like anymore. Well, use your imagination. This sounds good now.

Salt Merchant GT for two. Vito has molted into his next malady-based form. Gostasraf for 10. I think a visit from Dr. Don Wario might help Vito's issues audio or otherwise, maybe so. Phrenage for five. Atheist Land, Canada. Why be an atheist

anywhere else? Ping. Atheist Land Canada. I don't know. Black Crimson for 10. I thought I was watching a dub of Porco Rosso, but it's just Vito with his bad audio. Zetaquinself for two. Happy pie day, fellas.

Pie day. 3.14. So this is not pie day. I have no idea what they're talking about. It's 926. I don't know. What's your all's favorite pies? They made another pie day on not 3.14.

Blue Cut Zoo for 5. I have a pie in the fridge. I have a peach pie. there. How long's it been there? I don't like it. I don't like it. I got it like a week ago from the grocery store.

Hey, Vita. You ever get like a really, have like a really good peach cobbler? Sure. Yeah, that's what I wanted. But I got a peach pie. You got to make it. It's not as good. You got to make it yourself.

I tried to make, uh, my mom gifted me a box of, what's that, what's that restaurant that has biscuits? Arby's. Pop-I's Cracker barrel Cracker barrel My mom bought me a box of Cracker Barrow biscuit mix And I left it in my cupboard

For two years And I went This is probably still good And then I tried to make the biscuits And I made poison And I said these are These are chemical poison And then I read online

They're like Yeah all the fats in there Turn rancid Like get those out of your house now I went Oh I didn't I thought it was like flour Like flour will stay

For a long as time But no there's like There's like stuff in the biscuit misks that can go bad. Hey Vito, comics are something I've always wanted to get into. Be fair, would Super Killer have been a good gateway comic for me? Cardinal Bird for three, good try. Vito

bless dying gay boy. Please help me. I bless you, gay boy. L.J. Claverino for two. The biggest problem is sleeping wrong and having a stiff neck all day. Yeah, that's true. Zetaquin's L. 2. Payton Vito's back. That's a lot of galons of Coom.

A lot of cum. Grant, admiral fuck face. For two, a group of large women. It could be called a rumbling. That's a good one. Tiki the Mighty for 5. Vito has had a lot of bad takes, but I'm 100% in agreement with him on Mr. Beast. You've got to make a video. There's a whole bunch of people that give a shit about this.

Sarah Gardner for 2. You can get a microwave rice, too. It's pretty good. Dead cat for 5. Vito would make a great national health advisor with all his nutritional frozen food advice. He's just as fat as all the others. I have noticed that they are all fat, they're all fat, the national health. health advisories.

They're not good at it. Cardinal Bird for a 314. Happy Pie Day. I wonder what he made. Tiki the Mighty for Five, Stanley achieved singularity and is still somehow still subject to elder abuse. Riley and Friends are 5, can you guys start updating the podcast

playlist again so you can continue your supremacy streak in my YouTube music recap? Yes, I will fix the podcast playlist. Blue for sure, right for two, says Vito Ultra Fat. Dignan Post for 5, says the Olive Garden is the only Italian place. Vito can go and feel like family. Cadet in Swiss for five,

thank you. Fish nuts for five. Classic Vito complaining about having to walk. Come on, man. I just want to park. That's it. Mike Hunt for five, Roarshark was written as a parody of Mr. A to totally own Steve Ditko. Apparently, Alan Moore didn't count

on everyone loving Roershawk in morality. Yeah, he's definitely very inspired by Mr. A. Gessel Schaffer, too. Being an ibuprofen maxer paid off. Same thing. gel capsules gel physio for 5 oh look it's Vito the heck

what's this week's get rich and famous quick scheme what is it buy nuclear stocks Charles Baker for 2 Vito has prostate issues from being fat and gay Riley and Friends for 5

Vito started talking about piss right when I started pissing get out of my walls Vita it's even worse to you do it Riley surgery for 5 imagine standing at a urinal comparing your stream

with the man next you. But when your stream weakens, it Chuck, what the fuck is this vets? Go to the doctor. Go to the doctor. Jiam and G. for two says, oinktober. Sturgery for two says nobody wants that, by the way. Yeah. Vito Stitz for two. 60-40, Vito has diabetes

and 50-50 butthole cancer. Carmic punches puppies for five. Why has the stream turned to do Vito's biggest problem this week? Shut up Vito. Dick, please van Vito from talking on Twitter. I did. I don't know what you. I don't see him talking on Twitter at all.

There you go. It's very easy to avoid. Let's see. Carmic punches. Riley for two. I love that Bayblade game. Strategry for five. You've got to treat your health like Isam's right hand man.

Weakstream right punch. Diabetes right punch. Dismembered right hand. Yep. Right punch. Capchise 5 Vita Cills owes me and Balder. $100 each. When will we get our money?

Fat man. Take a look in the mail. Sarah Gardner for 10 Australian. I had it as a baby. Still having gut issues. Wait, it had what as a baby? Oh, Colic. Helpful suggestions from Google.

If the situation becomes frustrating, letting someone else take over or placing the baby in a crib may also call. Why would I want suggestions from Google? Who has ever said, I guess I've said, can you Google this for me? They put a laughing emoji to suggest, I think, that the idea of, you know, letting someone take over, else take over is a solution to colic is not. Yeah, it is a, it's fucking great, but I'm out of people. Very smart.

Very smart. Thank you. I didn't need to hear about your gut issues, but thank you for the money. I've learned a lot. Dick, can you put up the list of our top supporters? I don't know. If you still have it, and if not, I will update it. Other than that, guys, what a show.

After the show, why don't you swing by YouTube.com slash Vito 2 or I'll be streaming. Spider-Man, it's up. Why do you keep flashing it? It's more exciting. is it It's kind of This is how you get on to them I don't know it's a fucking phone book

Exciting a phone book going on And off is better than Just a phone book of names Yeah Oh you don't like People like seeing their name People like being a party Well they can fucking pause it then

How does it Why does me going on and off make a difference Well what are you going to do Guys don't forget to vote all the problems At BiggestProhm dot show This is as fast as I can go Coming soon to Patreon dot com slash biggest problem

If I do this and it gets out of sync And I Skalshage says the flashing is fun So somebody likes it Somebody's enjoying it There I got it now There's a lot of fun on there I lost it

All right goodbye everybody Bye Bye Thank you.