The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 206

Episode Date: October 11, 2025

close I didn't put in that delay like I said I would you're never gonna do that I don't know why you even suggested that you might do that because it's one of those things that I know you'll never do like I should really add a transition for this thing and I'm like yeah I might though no you why would you why would you that's like me making the t-shirt in the store black it's not gonna have you should do that though you should Right, well, you should change the video intro to fill the whole screen so there's not just like a little strip. I don't know how to, no, I'm not going to do that because I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to, I don't know why it's not, I didn't make the video, I don't know. So, well, just don't do it, just don't do it. Just don't even say you're going to do it because you won't. I'm not going to fix the pixel thing.

I don't know how to fix it. And I think, I like, I think it's funny. That you can just figure, you could make this, you can just change the size of the video a little bit. You could stretch it a little bit. I don't know how to do that. Or add a black box. What do you mean stretch it a little? I'm not going to have a video that's 721P.

That doesn't make sense. Well, if the video 720P, it already should fit. I don't know why it doesn't fit. So you clearly fucked something up there. No, I'll show you what I did. I just clicked this. See? There.

Yeah, and then you can see at the top. I didn't do anything. I just uploaded it. All I can do is rename it or delete it. I didn't do it. Whoever made this... Who made it? Who made it?

Who does it say? Who does it say in the top? Read in the top left, who made it? Who was it? Well, I can't see it because I have a... What do you mean you can't see it? Because on my end, I see the word live with a run encounter of how long the show's been live.

You don't see that video? No, I see the video, but the video right now is obscured by a piece of on-screen UI that only I can see in the back end of Stream Yard. I see that, too. I can't see that either. So what do you want me to fucking do? I thought you even see something else

Notice something else Alright so there's the video that I'm not fixing that little pixel thing though I don't get a shit about that I'm not fixing any of it it'll always just be A nice song that just suddenly cuts to two dofaces going Hey Podcast Because the song loops

You watch any other podcast And they got like a nice intro Wow you're about to have a fun show And here's our host Ours is just here's a stupid song And that's not my fault it's the guy that made the video

hey hey it's the guy that made the video's fault I'm gonna fix I'm gonna fix that by the way hi I'm gonna fix that that's our show every week your audio sucks uh my audio why does anyone listen no I'm saying that's how we start every show that's how we start every show

Carl's show doesn't do that what is Carl's show no Carl has an entire he isn't it's what are you talking about Carl's show has that whole song what song Get ready W-A-T-P. It's showtime.

Yeah, he's got a great intro. Yeah, we got a shitty song, and then that goes, Hey, I'm going to fix that video one of these days. This was all pre-recorded. Yeah, it would be cool if this was the intro that played at the beginning of every single episode. I think that's the real guys.

Am I recording? Oh, shit, okay. What a professional. Professional. And there's another thing. theme song, too. I know, we'd do two theme songs. Two.

See, the problem is where it recits. That's the problem. Because it loops ready. Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe. I don't fucking know, man. The only problem in the universe where we rank every show from people give... Did you say we rank every

problem in the show? We rank every show. Jesus Christ. People gave fucking dog shit rhymes this week. Total shit. Not One person gave a rhyme like it was supposed to be, like, problems of last week. They all had to be funny things about this week. Total sham. Everybody's cute.

We're all cute. From black women who are hangary to... What rhymes with hangary? Besides angry. Sangria? But none of that's on here. I don't think anything does wrong with angry. Nothing rhyme was angry?

We got to really focus on the last syllable you've got to go from black women who are angry. Angry. To podcasters spilling the tea or something like that. Oh, yeah. But I don't know. I don't remember what the problems were. Tevito's obsession with boring Jeremy. Jeremy boring.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. People were confused about that. I saw somebody who had those. Like, why does Vito care about the Daily Wire? I'm like, how can you not be fascinated by the Daily Wire? You are, though. I don't give a shit. Like, they're just weird Christians.

Like, I mean, and Jews. Okay, the reason I'm obsessed with them is that they were... Okay, so conservatives are always gone. The problem with media is that we've been, you know, barred from it. Like, comedy and, you know, entertainment would be so much better. Yeah. But all these libs kicked us out. and we're going to show you that right now.

Yeah. Yeah, but they. And like, I wanted them, I wanted, like, I on some weird level, wanted Mr. Bircham to be good. I wanted Adam Carolder to prove a point. Or he goes, you know, I'm still making great comedy. And these guys, you know, they just don't want me in. And they haven't been Mr. Birch from being like, ah.

Yeah, but why? Like, you, you especially are, like, really focused on the daily wire. What is this about the daily wire? Well, nobody else has, uh, I'm fascinated by the, whole concept of like we should just make everything the left is making but our bad version of it

and I go well why? Why do you want that? Of all the things you could want why are you like what if we were Disney and we had kids shows and you know fucking big spectacles? Like they're doing like stuff for like retarded people like

people that like buy collectible plates at home on QVC that's who their stuff is for they're doing great the way they look at everything in culture and they're like maybe there could be like a little more Jesus in this look man I don't think that's the problem

there are people who think lady ballers is their favorite movie there are a ton of people who if you say what's your favorite movie they'd say possible that's not possible it's always every single movie has somebody on the planet earth that say what's your favorite movie and they says

lady ballers and they are all watching the daily and they love all that stuff. They love, they love hearing, they love listening to Ben Shapiro every day. Going out of business.

It's like they're bleeding money. It's, uh... Says who? I get... Says their financial statements and shit, man? It's like fucking rumble. Again, why do you know

their fucking accounting? You're obsessed with them. Okay, because I guess I'm interested in massed delusion. Like a bunch of guys going. It's the same thing with the rip of hers. It's like, if we just keep saying this guy is the best comic book ever, will it become true?

Yeah. And it seems to be no. It seems like the Ripperverse is also. He's done. He's done. He's done. Didn't I say October 29th was going to be the last? Honestly, I haven't read his announcement or what's going on, but he said like, I don't want people to think, you know, this comic book company is just me.

And I'm like, well, you didn't name it the RIPAverse. That was kind of your first problem. And his wife's pregnant, he's calling himself a father? Did I get that right? That's classic Eric. Oh, my wife's pregnant, so I'm a father. That's not how it works, dumb fuck. You got to wait until it comes.

It's like a touchdown. You got to wait until it comes out a little bit. A lot could happen. First of all, you're not doing any kind of father shit. Secondly, a lot could happen, Eric. A lot could happen. You're counting your fucking fathers before they had. Him even admitting the kid is his means he's doing better than a lot of black

fathers, so we'll give him that. Is he going to come out shuck it and jiving and dancing? It's very possible. So I don't, look, all of this parallel economy stuff is fascinating because it's just a bunch of guys. I mean, we're talking about Jeremy the quartering, investing

all his money in Rumble and trying to suck Rumble's dick every two seconds. What a stupid asshole. Fiercely protective of this company going, well, we'll just make a free speech YouTube. And you're like, yeah, that's never going to make money. All the ads are for fucking... No, I would, but you have to make it. You have to actually make it. You have to actually make it so it works. That's like

How would you afford to pay for it? How would you, how? Put, pump it full of Christ, man. Get every Christian Make it the premier Christian Broadcasting Network. Bro. Pick a lane on this Jesus stuff.

If you want to, if you want to cherry pick anybody off YouTube, hammer the Christians. Say YouTube hates Israel and Jews and Rumble is headquartered in fucking Israel. We're a big fan, Netanyahu owns stock and rumble, and

come over here and worship Christ with us. That's it. Is that where most of the Christian enterprises get their money? It's like, they can't really sell anything so they just need to like kind of guilt everybody into donations the way the church does. Wait, what? You got to give this money. What was the question?

Well, like, because I'm like other, like, you go to the movie theater, the movie is supported by the idea that you're like, well, I want to see the movie. Yeah, right. You go to, you go to, you go to, yeah, rumble or whatever, one of these Christ-focused areas, and you're like, well, I got to do it for Jesus, even though I don't actually

like it. I mean, I don't know. It's a little bit, uh, a little bit too ironic for me to shill a Patreon and criticize the church for patronage. The Patreon, we have something. There's something there. You have something in church. You could go and you get free therapy. You know how much

that's worth? You don't get extra priest's time. The priest doesn't do a bonus episode if you die. Yes, he does. You go to confession you dickhead. Yes, he does. You go to church You go to Friday night If you go to church There's tons of bonus content

There's more bonus content At church than there is On both of my patrons Put together It's not hidden behind a paywall The church should have a paywall It is kind of hidden behind a pay wall It's a donation system

Well I don't know Churches are the original Patreon Yes It's where it comes from You got to pay I mean the priest will look at you funny

I guess if you're in the confessional every week and you're not putting money on the plate? He probably gives you a bed. He probably gives you extra Hail Marys to fuck with you. He gives you a chiskele. He puts it on you. He puts on you a chiskele. What do you have to confess?

And you're like, ah, you know, I was kind of a dick this week. He's like, do 10 million Hail Marys. Oh! That's what you get for not tithing. And they'll keep all the, they'll, like, talk shit about you, too, in the circle. Yeah. Keep all the hos away from you. And he loves.

And then they'll call CPS on your kids. have the way in your cocaine dungeon can you oh god something's got to be done about that pastor do you think Nikki Ricketts wasn't putting

enough on the plate yeah I think that's what happened is they're like I know this motherfucker's making YouTube money like crazy exactly he's putting like 10 bucks on the plate I'm taking his kids away

that's exactly what happened Vito Nick showed up Nick showed up to church with two women and the pastor was like driving his car with the top down you know

cruising in the church parking lot. This is more of like a 20, you put in 20 bucks here. This is more of a $300 sort of tithing for the Lord, sir. That church really did them in, man. Oh, well.

Andy Lofi says, I'm all for Wakanda Sipi. Wakanda Sissippi. Wakanda Sipi, yeah. Mao Zabong says, God, the Benjamin's is such a great bit. I'm still torn on whether it's called, it's all about the Benjamin's or just the Benjamins. I think it's just called the

Benjamins because you get there. It's retarded. What do you mean it's retarded? What do you mean it's retarded? What you're saying is just so goofy. It's called the, why don't just call it the, let's shorten it all the way. No, but I'm saying, you know the phrase it's all about the Benjamin's. So if you call it the Benjamins, people already know the phrase. people have warning labels on things to not eat them. Dick, when you watch a sitcom, what is it called, Seinfeld, 30 Rock.

It should be called Seinfeld the TV show, so I know what it is. No, but I'm saying the Benjamin's, it's a short, it's friends. But it's not a phrase. It has to be the improvement. All about the Benjamin's. You think, oh, I know that phrase, has it always been a TV show? I thought I've known that my whole life, huh? I guess I'll check this out.

There has to be a, like, a connection in your brain. I just think a show, it's like a quick, you get like two words. Somebody brings up, it's always sunny in Philadelphia. Okay, but what are they called? That it's always. Always sunny. I would have called it always sunny. Okay, yeah, yeah.

So that, and that's bad. It should not be on TV as always sunny. It's fine for you to call it to Benjamin. That's different. It's different because Philadelphia is crucial to the show, whatever. Yeah. Did you see my short? I didn't watch it, but I know of it.

I know it went up. You didn't watch it. Well, no, I was in it. What do you mean? I don't need to watch it. Why? I made a 15 second short for the Benjamins. Oh, with AI and stuff?

Yeah, you didn't see that? Oh, no, I thought it was just a clip. I didn't know that. Do you want to see it real quick? Whatever. Go to the YouTube. It's on the YouTube shorts. It's on the shorts page of our YouTube.

And YouTube should just be called you. yeah yeah no youtube is fine that's two words the benjamin's but the is not really a word though i'm gonna make this show uh carter says damn veto is actually good now that show is the show is back this episode was fantastic thanks akar don't worry it'll get phrasing it in such a negative way uh twisted question mark says notice in the food insecurity clip to black woman and both of her daughters had a full head of weave. That's at least 300 bucks for mom, and a minimum

of 150 each for the daughters. I guess... They ain't eaten. It's just my silly female brain. I was thinking this comment was a little long, but I would feed my children before getting day-hairedid. Yeah?

I don't believe you. Brooke says, has Vito ever seen or heard of Turkish Star Wars? I I've heard of it, but I have now watched it. What have you heard about it? I've seen clips that they just took the movie Star Wars and made their own version using this.

Basically, the Turkish took Star Wars, made their own sci-fi movie, but then just took all the special effects from Star Wars and reused them, like all the spaceships and stuff. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, this was back in like the 60s, they're like, well, we can't pay for special effects, but we could write around the ones that already exist in this other movie.

They should, uh, movies should do that more. That would be cool. Yeah. Carter says it's all about the Benjamins. Brought these two back together. Peak form on the bonus episode that you can get at patreon.com slash biggest problem. Joshua James... Yes, that's true.

We did talk about it as well in our bonus episode. We went into more detail. It's mostly on the bonus episode. If you liked it on the regular episode, you will love it on the bonus episode. Joshua James Hill says Vito was still in conspiracy theory mode with that whole Holocaust bit That was great. I don't even remember that. I forgot we spent like 30 minutes discussing a Holocaust

for you, Sam, last episode. Or whatever it was. Yeah, and machine. What do you mean or whatever it was? It's a tribute. Petty says, my favorite conspiracy theory is that everything will be okay. Also, Vito doesn't understand patronage systems.

Oh, organizations aren't given money explicitly to protest. They're given money to weave baskets underwater to employ the people who go to protests. What is that weaving baskets underwater fucking thing? I know it's like a reference to an actual thing. It's kind of like a boomer saying. Like that your degree is useless or that your time is being spent in a useless way.

It's pretty dated. No, but like it's a reference to like the government gave money to underwater basket weaving. Oh, a long time ago? Not recently. Because I heard that when I was a kid. I don't know. I mean, I guess it is an actual thing that people do. Underwater basket weaving?

Underwater weaving studio. Well, yeah, because you have to, because the reeds have to be wet to weave them. So it's got to be underwater. Well, I mean, couldn't you? Underwater basket weaving is an idiom referring pejoratively to useless or absurd college or university courses. But you do have to weave baskets underwater. No, I don't think you do have to actually weave them underwater. What do you mean?

I think you obviously have to soak them in water. Yeah, you got to soak them in water, but I'm saying you don't have to be underwater to do it. It doesn't say totally submerged basket weaving, like scuba basket weaving. I don't think they're even doing it. No, I don't even think they're doing it underwater. I think you just take the reeds and you put them in water. I think the whole point is it's a completely inventive thing. Why would you take them out of the water then?

That doesn't make sense. I don't know if they originally were in the water. Oak. In weaving willow baskets, a trash. of water is needed to soak the dried willow. There you go. See, so you have to don't say, there you go. You weren't right. It's completely different

from what you said. I can't Tried wool reeds would infer that they were dry, not wet. You can't weave dry reeds. No, but you take the dry reeds and then you wet them. And put them underwater. You don't put it in a

bucket. You're going to wet outside of water. In a bucket. You're not underwater. and you're saying the the reeds are under the water how else are they getting wet okay then icon cop sign says

veto your songs are always funny and you can actually hear the lyrics lull do some more Odin Valcure says running out of gas is a woman problem men shouldn't be running out of gas ever

God that's my that's my favorite thing talking about what is what is manly and how it's chores is an old phrase

from as early as 19503 what are you fucking reading Wikipedia now oh wait I forgot to do the I forgot to do the problems at the top no we do that before those your fucking Wikipedia

the myth of food insecurity is top well read it later hey I won I'm a winner gas procrastinating second delusion and then the rights

obsession with Hollywood okay there you go um i'm mayor wrecked the toys that made us is clearly a show meant to get dummies like veto excited for old toys so the resellers can mark them up even higher because of the hype the show created over toys that quote made losers i think uh i think when you make reality tv show content there's not a there doesn't need to be a second layer of and we can inflate the prices of of this thing. Are you sure? I think it's just reality TV slop, man. I don't know. Do you see the newest toys

that made us? No. He showed up in the mail today. Here's my agent anti-venom, Dick. Are you excited about this? Wait, you're looking at a toy?

Yeah, well, this is how they get you, Dick. Because you know, I love magic. You know, the magic card people. They're making you buy toys to get the deck?

You know, I love magic cards, but you can't. get the exclusive anti-venom promo without buying this hunk of plastic I don't want. That's how they get you. That's how they get you. They also get you with Mary Jane. Look at that. There's Mary Jane as the Iron Spider.

It's like 70 cubic inches of trash that you just have to have now. To get one card. The card's really good, though. off the internet. I didn't think about that. I went online and I saw people selling just the car and I went out. That would have made way more sense. Well, it would have been less bad than this, what you're doing now.

So now I have these Marvel Legends figures I don't want. I think these were like 30 bucks each, maybe 40. How much in Super Chats would it cost for you to destroy those right now? 40 bucks? 40 bucks? You destroy those for each? You destroy those for a $40 super? I mean, I get, then I just buy them again.

Okay. $40 bucks. Oh, pick your price. Pick your price. Well, do I have to destroy the card or just a figure? You got to destroy the whole box. You got to smash you. No, no, no, no, no, no.

No amount of money? I got to keep the card. No, you can't keep the card. You only, I want the card. Well, you got to destroy it. You could buy another one. And somebody else brings up, yeah, YouTube takes a cut of Super Chat, so I'd be losing. money. Thanks a lot, shithead.

Whoever told them that. And half the Super Chats go to you. I'd get totally fucked. God damn. Yeah, but you already said that you would do it. That would have been awful. Anyway. So those are the toys of the baby. Okay, so you bought that crap. All right. I bought more Trish.

Luigi to You says new Ninja Turtles, but this time it's Sidney-Sweeney. That would put asses and seeds. Wonderful. Miami Chaos. Speaking of Ninja Turtle. Ninja Turtle Magic Hurds got an ounce. today. Oh, God. They're just shittifying the entire thing.

Why do you, what are you moving around? I'm trying to clean the camera lens. I think it's a little late for that. No, it's like, I don't know what's happening. Maybe it's getting fogged up or something. It's very foggy. It's very foggy. Miami chaos.

I thought I was the only one you noticed Bing's resistance toward black prompts. But if you type a black man running from the cops with a gun in his hands, it won't make it but if you say a white man a remove race entirely it will make the prompt with the white man by default oh are you watching the soror a i stuff no i try to click away from any ai videos as soon as i see that they're a i bro it's like crap no it's not i mean total shit it's total like retarded shit it looks like like a like a porno like porno women like acting weird Everyone's jerking. I don't know, man.

I've been laughing my ass off. There's one of a guy, it's a white guy in glasses and he's flying through a Walmart as like two guys chase him. And he's just going, Gay-N-Word, Gay-N-Ward, GAN-Ward. They're like, sure, you have to come down.

And of course, they found a way to get the AI to say the N-word over and over. And I'm going, this is the future. How'd they do that? You have to, like, type in, like, instead of saying, like, you have to say, like, Gabe Ningered. or something, but like the AI can't

get him. If he says it fast enough, it's like, have him to say Gabe Ninja really, really, really fast. It's just Gabe Ninja, Gabe Ninja, Gabe Ninja, but you know, it comes out in the video, whatever. Whoa. I don't know exactly what they're typing in. Bazinga is being chased by a black guy through the Walmart.

Sir, you can't fly through the Walmart. And I'm watching this and I go, this is simultaneously the stupidest thing I've ever seen. And like, I'm laughing. so hard at how stupid it is. Like, I love this. This is all I want now. It's like, I realized, like, all this time I, all this time I spent being like, ah, art and it's, you know, culture and, you know, trying to watch, like, whatever.

No, I just want to see a guy fly through Walmart yelling the N-word, well, black guys chase after it. It's all I want. You've been one-shoted. You got one-shotted. It's, I'm Homer in that one episode where, uh, what that guy gets. hitting the nuts with a football and he goes, well, Barney's film

The crossover with the critic, come on. That one episode. That was a seminal episode. How much detailed do you want me to go into? Well, you were saying like that one episode. Everyone knows that episode. It's important. Yeah.

Matt Graning hates that episode. He was furious. They made him do it. They did a critic crossover. He was on the Lolita Express to a pedophile island of Jeffrey Epstein. So he's probably molested a bunch of kids. So fuck him.

Who cares what Matt Graining thinks about anything? Well, Barney's film made me think, but man getting hit in the nuts with football, I don't know. Why is he pissed? He made Futurama. Futureama fucking sucks. It's better than Disenchanted.

Did you try watching Disenchanted? Yeah, I watched it until that goblin wanted to fuck the main character, and I said, no, no, I'm out. That was when I realized, oh, Matt Graning is not talented in any way. All your favorite temptations? episodes were not written by him at all

um okay you know he only ever wrote like three episodes of the Simpsons that makes sense so why would he why would he write episodes well yeah he basically just showed up and was like here's the characters and I don't know we used to play a saxophone

don't forget about the saxophone like that's all he did I don't think he did anything else well that's pretty good uh erb beta patch says delusion really is the biggest problem Imholt thinks he's always winning when he's losing. Suttering John thinks he beat Shaq in basketball. Maddox thinks he lost the lawsuit because he had a...

Oh, he did? Oh, he did? Oh, well... Yeah, where does that from? Did I get comments from the wrong episode? I don't know. All right, that's it then. Maybe I'm crazy. I don't have any more.

Oh, it's me... It's me, Yoshio. The show hates everyone. Equally. I don't understand how we're saying Imhold isn't winning. He's on his upswing, man. All the court stuff's behind. him, it's going to be good for him.

Not sure why Christians think they're exempt. Everything's funny until it's about you. Right? Lull. Okay. There you go. I got a call in. I got a call into the Steel Toe radio show. I got a call in.

You should. I want to check in with my buddy Steeltoe. You could be his co-hosts in a second. I've thought, I've had that same thought. Like a returning, like a fill-in, occasional fill-in. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, because, like, there's always, there's always, these guys always go live and they'll, like, just pipe somebody in. I go, maybe I should just be that guy for Steeltoe, and I'll just go, hey, it's my buddy Steeltoe, and I just show up.

I'm just on the show, and then I get clipped, and Carl can go, Vito really stuck into Steeltoe this week. I've been watching a lot of Carl lately. I think that's, well, good luck, yeah. Well, that's what's been going on with stuttering John as he has a guy on there, and then Carl gets through. react. He goes, I just like that you'll... Ron the waiter really gave it to Stutjo this week.

That's all fascinating. What you think in your mind is that Carl will clip a clip that makes you look good. That's the first thing that you go to in your mind. That's because I saw a clip of him saying Ron the waiter was, you know, had good points. Oh, okay. I don't know. I think it would just be fun to show up in clips in any respect.

All right. Yeah, I got some voted up here. Let's do it. Oh, yeah. I remember this one. Yeah, this one's great. Someone says have Ron the waiter on. Not a bad idea. Your whole family. Wait, is Ron the waiter an opie guy?

You know what? I can't follow all the thing. No show. The patron is the way to go. Go and vote it up. Vote it up. Yeah. All right.

All right. From episode 78, Dick, you know what's coming up is the Super Bowl where all the football goes down. What's the best part of the Super Bowl? It's, of course, the halftime show where this year you'll have two terrible choices. One, do you continue to watch? A Puerto Rican, an illegal Puerto Rican? Some stuttering Puerto Rican? Exactly. Bad Bunny has been chosen to appear for the NFL. And many people are very upset.

He made some comment on S&L saying, you need to learn Spanish to watch the halftime show or whatever the fucking said. Adios Mucacho. How's that for Spanish? Afwera. Well, thankfully. You know, I thought it was that, I thought it was that cash me outside whore from Dr. Phil. I thought that was bad bunny this whole time. Oh, really? Yeah. So you heard everybody complain. about bad bunny you're like well that's kind of she's doing very well for herself i guess uh yeah but not just for this super bowl i mean like years every time someone was her name bad bunny also but

spelled i think it was bad bobby bad like barbie but like yeah yeah let's see cash me outside girl i know what you're talking about uh bad bobby yeah you're right i thought i thought it was bad bunny you thought bad bobby was gonna be for yeah I was like, huh, wow. She's come a long way. She's really come a long way performing at the Super Bowl. That was the first time I thought, wait a minute, that's not, that can't be the, that can't be correct. I've been, I got the wrong person, I think.

Well, if she's not performing at the Super Bowl, perhaps she'll be performing at the exciting alternative as provided by everyone's favorite pro-America organization, Turning Point, USA. More Slamming Conservatives. That's all you got. Erica Kirk's, Showtime, spectacular. I'm sure they'll call it. The organization founded by the late right-wing activist Charlie Kirk announced on social media, it will be hosting its own Super Bowl halftime show. Who's going to play? Jason Aldine?

Well, that's what's fascinating, is the website provided for the halftime show currently has a form that aside from personal information asks only one question. The question is, what music genres would you like to see featured? Here are the options. well, they're deciding on the website what music they're going to play. Jason Aldine, Dary's Rucker, and

I don't know, Chris Christopherson, they can dig him up. Here's your choice, Dick, show. Yeah. One, anything in English. Ha-ha, I get it. Okay, I'm not. American. Really? Yeah, that's the first, that's the first

option. Anything in English? Anything in English is your first option. He just, Charlie Kirk, deserved it. Stop. Americana, classic rock, country,

hip hop, pop, and your final pasal selection. Worship music is another option, which could potentially be played at the Turning Point USA football jamboree. The All-American Half-Time show will celebrate

faith, family, and freedom, and will be organized by Erica Kirk, the current CEO of Turning Fountain. I would like, can I write in, I would like Hava Nogila played for 30 minutes straight. And a bunch of blue and white fireworks to celebrate our allies in Israel, of course. Why would they put that shit? Did they really put that? What, as warship as one of the options? I mean, they hit gold. Charlie Kirk getting assassinated is like striking oil for the TPSA.

It really is. And they have pissed it away because they are, they're just unlikable. and lame, and they fucking suck. Everybody else at that organization, they're a bunch of barnacles and parasites. Bro, I look at the turning point. You asked me, I'm obsessively to Daily Wires, because I look at these guys and they go,

oh, man, you're in a position to, like... You could really capitalize on this, murder. You could take over the country, actually. Yeah, yeah. Turning Point USA was in a position to take over America on the back of a perfect martyr type situation. And they trotted out this movement. moon-faced beauty queen bitch

who totally let the steam out of the room. They were basically given carte blanche to pick the next president. You could have put any white guy up on that stage and said, and this is going to be the president. For God. That's it. And Charlie. Vote from for Charlie, but instead you got this me, me, me

fest. Instead, Miss Piggy walked out and said, Hmm. What if we put on a show? I forgive you, Gansu. What you guys are done with the football? Maybe you can watch my fun show with music and dancing and family. What the fuck is Americana?

Uh, I don't know. Like, that's a good question. That's like one step above the, it's like one step above like not Mexican. The first choice. God, don't make me fucking defend bad Barbie. Bad Barbie ruined. I mean, I feel like they would say like born in the USA, which is famously not really like a pro America song. Yeah, it's classic.

So they want, like, the soundtrack to Chevy commercials. That's what they mean. Basically, yeah. What would you like for your halftime show? The soundtrack to Chevy commercials. Yes, no. Or would you like Ford commercials? Like, are you a Chevy guy or a Ford guy?

I really can't figure out what Americana music would be because everything I think about it. Well, that was black people doing it. They don't want that. What was black people doing what? Motown and Duop. No, that's not a barbershop. They can do barbershop music, I guess

I don't fucking know Like Mr. Sandman Is that barbershop music Mr. Sandman Um Um Bapana Huh

Uh I really don't want to watch the The bad Why don't you do a song about the real shooter Which they're right now trying to find Candace Owens is going to thrill Israel. Israel's a real shooter

Is that Josh Hammer guy Every day I got to watch new videos For Candace Owens being like Did you see the guy who saw Charlie Kirk got shot? He was rehearsing for when Charlie Kirk got shot. And then here this white guy running, I'm like, he got shot by a gay kid. He's diving over the fucking table and confiscating fucking USBs. Are you seriously questioning that?

That's not normal behavior? I don't think he was diving over the table. That guy said, for no reason he retweeted Trump's public executions and said based right before Charlie was publicly executed. what do you think about that I don't know I think we need a halftime show to figure it out why don't you do a half time show who done it

finding the real shooter and Erica you can get back on stage and go actually I don't forgive the shooter and everybody can cheer that was one of the worst moments of my life when she came out and said I forgive the shooter I was like God I fucking there was a single second

where I wasn't thinking about how much I hate women and now that is gone there's certain points to commit to the Jesus forgiveness bit and the in the middle of a blood frenzy for the gay murderer of your husband take advantage of that don't go forgiveness style

go yeah we're gonna get that fucker everybody would have went nuts she should have came out covered in blood like I'm gonna hunt him and anyone he's associated with to the end of the fucking earth she should have had a false flag like she should have had a blood like a squib

and then she's a guy shooting and then her leg explodes and she's like ah like living around and then this guy like runs away and he's like in on it like it's uh what's that guy John Cena had John Cena's like running you know out through the parking lot she gets shot

she falls to the ground everybody's freaking out then all of a sudden a single spotlight appears and a hologram of Charlie Kirk with angel wings brings her back to her feet and he goes I need you to lead them and that would have been the fucking

that's how you do it now that's pageantry So I guess we're watching bad money then. The fucking crowd would have went nuts. Anyway, guys, halftime show is currently number 592 with 120 up votes. Voted up. Dick, from episode 164. Actually, why don't I just show you a picture and you can tell me if you can figure out what the problem is? What is this?

No, that's not the picture. Too many toys. Share the screen. Here it is. What is happening here? Sorry, I thought you already shared the... No, no, I haven't shared the photo yet. There we go.

There we go. Dick, this is a brand new tepate maori MP, Orini Kaipara, giving her much anticipated maiden speech on the floor of the New Zealand house. Unfortunately, her speech went awry. when she ran over the allotted 15 minutes she was giving, a ranting and raving about all sorts of stuff, and then all of a sudden it turned into a bit of a kerfuffle when she and her supporters launched into a sudden haka. God, I hate the haka so much.

I love this guy going. You guys are really going to do this fucking thing again, really? Can we just fucking make some walls and shit? I know that shrug. He's saying the N-word. He's like, saying it in his mind. Fucking, uh-huh. That's a universal shrug for saying that.

He's saying it. He's saying it. God damn it. Play it again. Yeah. So he said it. But he said it off-camera. Yes, he did.

Yes, he did. I can read lips. Fuck it. Yeah, he said it. He said it. Everybody stood up. Not that. That would not be taking place.

He was told they weren't going to do it. The house is suspended. Oh, suspending the house. So they had to suspend Parliament. To get Gary Brownlee. Get that leafblower guy in and blow up. their wigs. Get that guy that chases black people around and shoots their wigs

off as a leaf blower. Get that guy in there. That would be helpful. Gary Brown Gary Brownley was very upset at this unannounced hawka taking over the chamber again. Can you imagine you're just trying to do governmental business and every day you're like just trying to steal money

and rape kids here guys. I don't need to watch a little fucking performance. All right. I don't need the musical theater part. Can we just get back to the raping and pillaging please? Well, the worst right is that they've clearly carved out accommodations for them. They're like, okay, you guys can do it like once a month, okay?

Don't do it today. We don't have time for it. We're not going to do it. We're not going to do it. He goes, well, you got a bunch of pain on your fucking face, so I feel like you're going to do it. That's that fucking tattoos. I know, I know. She's got all sorts of shit. I feel like you got all these guys in the wings.

I feel like you're going to do it. No, no, we're not going to do it. Nobody's going to do the hawkah. It's going to be fine. We're not going to hocker. And then she gets up there, immediately her eyes go wide and he's like this cock suckers are gonna do the fucking haka again is that a pint glass is that a pint glass on the right yeah yeah they're having a couple pines it's it's new zealand what's this why do they have this like birdman coat like uh well that's what i'm saying she showed up wearing the birdman coat he said i feel

like you're gonna do the hawka she goes no no no i'm gonna take it off i'll leave it on the chair it's just a one thing i had in the car it's just all i could find it's not that cold it's a little cold in the chambers. It looks like her arm is chopped off in this picture, doesn't it? It looks. There's a lot going on here. It's a lot going on here. Anyway, this is New Zealand Parliament. This is what Marcus Brown

Leal, or whatever his fucking name is, has to deal with. Just that poor white man standing up there going, yeah, all right. Fucking, yeah. We're warriors. Did you know we're warriors? I know. You're all fucking warriors. I know. I got it. I know.

Well, uh, that's That's the skinniest woman I've seen doing the... Oh, you know what? Actually, the other one was skinny, too. Huh. I think to become a prime minister, it's, yeah, they got to get, they got to practice. Maybe the Mexican ladies can start doing the haka. Zumba is not working for them.

Hey, it's not a bad idea. I'm going to haka class. Yeah, go do the haka all day. We just haka around and chant and she looks good. Anyway, that's the haka guys currently number 402 with 209 up votes. Why don't you go vote it up? Is that it? That's it.

To those who be the scam, go and vote it up. If you don't beat or will kill your whole family. If you don't go and vote, there will be no show. The patron is the way to go. Go and vote it up Voted up Do, do you Yeah

All right, I got to go first Yeah Okay, well Dick Here's what's, I've been thinking a lot about trading cards lately Huh And, uh, okay I remember you famously got your Pokemon cards graded. You remember that debacle?

Yeah, I got everything. off. They must have switched mine with someone else's exact same order because I got a bunch of sevens and eights and shit and not even maybe I got one ten I don't remember I think I just got like three nines. I don't think you got any ten's. There weren't no ten.

Yeah, I never got some of that. There was a ten I would have remembered. Oh yeah, my best card got marked, got marked. It said this is altered. Altered, which it wasn't. So that was my ten that they said was altered. Well, did you crack? it out and send it back in I don't remember well if you decide to do so dick are you gonna are you gonna do it properly and run it through the hyper potion what's up well why don't

you bring up this video real quick so I can show you okay now this is from a man named Pokey Master Center okay he's gonna show you why you got this is why all your grades were fucked because you didn't pay attention to this guy your hypopotion. I've tried a ton of different products and they're all crap. Hyper potion is the best formula for not only reducing scratches, but polishing and bringing vibrance and shine back to your Pokemon cards. In your hyper potion package, you're going to receive a couple of things here.

It seems like he knows what he's doing, right? Premium microfiber cloth. Premium microfiber cloth? Okay. You can't just get, you can't just get these. He took that from an optometrist office or something, overstock. We'll also get ten of these mini-phole tips. Wow.

Q-tips, incredible. What the hell is this? You get one of my awesome stickers. I don't want the sticker. Can I pay more to not grab the sticker? You have to get the sticker. You can do-da-da-dan, the hypoion. You can access this video at any time.

It's a acetone. Holo. Holo Scratch Reducing Cream Now what you should have done is with your Scratch Pokemon cards You should have hit him With the hyper potion, Dick

And then you could It's gonna polish up And it removes some of the scratches Going all the way through You can see the scratches on his Nitto Queen And then he just applies the hyper potion And they're gone I already send in all my good cards though

Oh you fucked up You should have hyperpotioned them You should look at this before and after. Why don't they do that where you grade them? It's a good question. That's a great question. What the f-I? I can't see before or after scratches on that chancy.

It's a little more, it's like polished up on the side. It's like he really graded it up. Okay. But here's my problem as I go, okay. Okay. Maybe before I send in my Pokemon cards, I should hit him with like a little bit of... You're going to put this guy's goo on your card? It's probably come.

I'll put a little goo on there if it makes the car. There's probably Keffel's backlog of Trunshine that she couldn't unload. It's very possible. Dick, how much should a little bottle of Pokemon goo and some Q-tips cause? Well, if it's raising your grade, it should cost a million dollars. Well, that's, uh, yeah, basically, how much is it? $55 fucking dollars. What is it?

What is that crap? That's what I'm saying. And this is my problem, Dick, is knowing you're getting ripped off. Okay? Because I know Whatever's in that fucking bottle Is just some off the shelf Bullshit

How do you not know what it is That's what I'm saying is I go Okay, so what is it though And he goes well it's hyperpotion I go look it up Right But what is it actually How could I look it up?

It's just he pakes it And he puts it in a little bottle He's not mixing that shit up He's just I don't that's what I'm saying Wax and acetone Exactly exactly Okay so look that up

but I don't know if it is paraffin wax I don't know if it's paraffin wax somebody knows some somebody who makes these cards knows bro I tried to figure out I'm like well just tell me what it actually is and I'll just go buy the actual thing and nobody knows no but I didn't say it to him but I was like what is it what is it because like I really doubt that this asshole why don't you try some stuff why don't you try that down yeah well that's what I did I bought car wax and I tried it on a Pokemon card and it didn't work very well and I said well it's not that okay

because I'm the idiot who goes because I'm the guy who goes what like Carnuba wax like like turtle wax like fucking just regular and then I tried deleting it down a little bit. That's gonna totally be fucked up well you didn't fucking work so I bought the wrong thing but I don't

know what fucking hyperbosion is and I'm not giving this guy $55 for a little bottle of it when I get a giant it's DD7 it's D7 from the 80s. It takes out blood rest. It might be. It might be. Yeah. It's 87. I recognize it anymore. All these guys, all these guys. What else did you buy? Have a racket going. Here's Kurt's card care. Okay. And I go, look. Because, okay, you know how sometimes your Pokemon card is like a little raised part? You like want to like flatten it down. And he goes, oh, I have a perfect. He makes all these, he makes all these like Instagram videos where he goes, here's out of swatting out of party of card. This fucking alter. shit. When I didn't do shit. I didn't do anything. Okay. So I was like, yeah, I want one of these things like in the video. And here's, it's just a piece of plastic with a piece of PVC tube attached to it. And he wants $22 fucking dollars for it. And I go, bro, I know you just cut up a little piece

of PVC tube and put it on the end of a thing. And he goes, yeah, but I had a test. That's $22? This fucking little rod. It's a rod with a PVC piece of PVC tubing. And he uses it to everybody goes Yeah dude And he sells these things for $22 He's making a fucking fortune Here Kurt, I'll show you

I'll show you Here's his corner repair video Kurt's card tool He repaired that And he did a good job It's what's crazy Oh you can't fast forward On fucking

Instagram videos What kind of card is that Oh okay It's one of these giant fucking basketball cards And he takes this little tool With this little piece of PVC tubing at the end of it

And he just gently Hardly a tool, it's just a stick. Like, it's just a stick and it's $22, but I need one because I don't have one, and I don't want to buy his. Surely that, surely just a stick can't qualify as a tool. That's not like... The first person who had a stick, the first caveman who had a stick might have tried to call it a tool, but it's not. I bought the fucking... I bought the plates to make the card flat.

Every tool starts as a stick, but it needs to have something on it. makes it different. This guy's really showing off the card tool. I'm trying to find like one where you can skip ahead. But this is, this is his whole thing. This is all these guys fixing these cards have figured out that they can just sell you trash. He's got Kurt's card spray. It's like a spray. How much time have you spent trying to find like just the right size stick? Well, that's the worst part is I go, fuck. Well, I should have just bought the stick. Because the amount of time I've spent trying to find an alternate stick, I went, I should just bought the fucking stick.

Where have you tried to find a stick like that? I don't know. Well, that's the other thing is I go, all right. Well, I mean, he did take time to find a stick in a piece of PVC tube. Maybe I should just give him $22. Or he's got this card spray, which he claims, repairs that, you know, gets all the dirt off the car. Yeah, spray. And then somebody else was like, oh, it's just eyeglass cleaner spray.

No way. So I got a tube lens cleaner. Yeah, this is not working at all. So that's clearly not what it is. So whoever said it's just eyeglass cleaner spray was wrong. So I'm between a rock and hard place. Either I give a guy $50. He gets to take my money.

He gets to go, he, he, he got him to pay $50 for this garbage. But they control the garbage. Oh, you're talking about the goo. I thought you're talking about the car. Yeah, the card, the card, his Kurt's card polish is $30 at $10. Yeah. The card spray, a little bottle of spray is $22. How long does it last?

How long does that little tincture of spray last? I don't know. All I know is I put car wax all over my magneton, and it looks like fucking shit. You've tried it on a magneton first? Yeah, I tried it on a magneton. That's a shitty card. It's a shitty card. There's a lot of them.

But now, you know what? I'm actually looking at it. It is a little shinier. So I don't know. Maybe the carwax deep-cats? Yeah. It is very shining, though. Carwax isn't like, you couldn't dip like a cue tip in

car wax? This is like, I don't know what it was. It was a very loose wax but it was clearly not the kind I thought it was. But it was like $10 for a 10. I'm like, I might as well try like five different tens of wax before I go ahead and just give this guy money for hi-

What if I crack? Because then I go, what if I crack the code? Then I could be one of these snake oil guys and I could sell super hyper potion for 35 bucks and save the community millions. You'd sell it for how much? 35 he's selling his for 50 that's a that's a bargain 30 you sell 35 bucks still a rip off still a rip off 20 bucks 20 bucks I'll give you veto's fucking 20 bucks includes shipping free shipping vetoes no no shipping is always in separate expense veto shiny time wax athon make your cards

perfect I got to say this whole grading thing though like I don't I don't even I can't wrap my head around the card grade you gotta get computers to do it There's two, because it's all about the... Yeah, tag. Have you seen tag? It's obviously the way to do it. Why is that not the standard? I don't know.

I don't know. People like PSA too much. People like, it's just like a guy looks at your car and he goes, yeah, I don't know, it looks like a 10. Fuck it. And they do. They're like, bop, bop, bop. I know because that's what they want. Except for mine, they were like, mine, they were like 10, 10, 10.

They're like, wait a minute, I know that guy. I know that guy. Give me those cards back. I'm going to fuck that guy over. Obviously, this one's used to some kind of goo and a tube on it. Seven. It's bullshit. I'm trying to think, but there are many times in my life where I've bought a thing and then later realized, oh, I could have just got the, you know.

I'm always looking for the generic version. You made your own ozimic, even though it's like free. It's like really cheap. I tried to make my own hyper potion. Try to make your own hyperpotion. Now my card smells like a Hyundai cilantro. or whatever the fuck, Elantra. And now you got all this car wax sitting around that you don't need.

It does have an odor to it. Yeah, it's not good. You think the graders are going to notice that when they pull a card out? They're going to go, why does this smell like a fucking car? Yeah, I'm not, well, I specifically picked a card I wasn't going to grade. I'm not going to grade the fucking magneton. The world has enough graded magnetons. That was my test card.

That was my test card. Nobody gives the shit about Magneton. And it's a base set to Magneton, which is even worse than a regular magneton. Magnetown. It doesn't even count. Why do you even have it? Throw it away. Base set, too? It's probably worth like five bucks, maybe. Oh, don't throw it away then. That's lunch. That's lunch. That's lunch. That's lunch right there. It's lunch right there, man. Anyway, that's, my problem is knowing you're getting ripped off. Because there's just something

about me. I can't deal with it. I go, I can't give this guy, even though I know it would probably save me time and in effort and thinking to just buy the hyper potion. just the idea that this guy got one over on me that's a that's a that's a that's a big

great that's a filter in like um IT and like anybody who does computer shit you can always

make it yourself and do like your own version that's free or you can just pay the bullshit $30 a month version like $30 per user and it's just

always cheaper. As soon as you mentally make the leap from I'm going to roll my own to I'm just going to pay for it your life just gets so much better. But I'm like one of those... Okay, you know what I'm thinking about is like

you know when you sneak food into the movie theater? I don't. I mean I understand the concept, but yeah. But like the whole... It feels good. It feels like you're like, ah, I've circumvented an obvious scam to try and sell me a $12

hot dog. Yeah. You're sneaking hot dogs into the movie theater? I've snuck hot dogs into the movie. Yeah, because there was a movie theater right next to the Costco. Wait a minute. You're eating hot dogs at the movies? Dude, the fucking Costco hot dog is the perfect movie snack. It is fantastic. So you're in the theater holding your

fucking elbow up? Fucking eating a hot dog? Taking it out of the crinkly fucking Costco paper or whatever. No, like Sour Patch Kids. You get the candy and stuff. Popcorn. Hot dogs is the movie.

When the fucking, we watched the little cartoon, the let's all go to the movies. Who's holding hands going to the movies? The popcorn bucket, the hot dog, the drink cup, and the candy box. That guy's just there to, like, represent black people. No, no, that's the forefecta. You got to get all of them. There's no fucking hot dog.

Was there hot dogs at movie theaters in the 50s? And there was a car. There's a car. That's a drive-in. And that was part of the regular. And the hot dog is an essential American snack. I think it's in all of this. Baseball game, not a movie.

What's wrong with the hot? They sell hot dogs at the movie theater. Because you've got to be able to fucking see a hot dog because there's onions and stuff all over it. They have the fucking hot dogs. You don't think nobody else is, nobody's eating them? They're just there for like show. They're there. They have hot dogs. Those are a trick.

They're not. For who? I don't, people you don't want to be around. There's, watch out for that guy. I'm not getting the nachos. I will agree with people. I don't think the nachos are. Nachos are fine for a movie.

What are you talking about? No, no, no. Because that. That involves a dip. Anything involving a dip in a dark theater? What are you doing? You're not supposed to dip the chip. The chips are fucking circle for a reason.

They don't fit in the dip. You pour the cheese on the chips. No, no, no. It comes cheese poured on a little boat. They come in a little boat with a little place for the dip. It's not chips and dip. It's not chos. Natchos have shit all over the chips.

They're not for dipping. They come, they give you, they have pretzel bites that have the dip cup. That's fine. Pretzel bites. Anything bites is to be dead. But I'm saying there are dip relays. snacks at the movie theater and I don't think that makes any sense

anything that involves a dip you're in a dark movie theater how are you going to dip effectively are you going to fucking eat a hot dog you're going to block everyone's view around you just pull it out and you put it in your mouth you don't got to think about anything it's the same as you eat if anything it's better than popcorn

popcorn is loud popcorn interrupts a movie a hot dog it's like to remind you that it's okay you're in a movie theater don't get too scary hot dog is a better movie snack because it doesn't inter you don't you're not watching the movie in here You hear the soft, delightful chew of wet meat and bread.

No, it's gross. It sounds like you're making out with your food. It's smooth. You're like, who are making out? Wow. And you're like, oh, it's a fat guy eating a hot dog. Ugh. Two hot dogs.

Let's be clear. Costco, you've got to get two dogs. Do you double them up? God, man. Can we wrap this show quick? Costco's going to, now I need a Costco dog. Okay, my problem is dog abuse. who are some

here's the most famous dog abusers when I say dog abuse this is what you think of Michael Vic that's a big dog abuser that's a big one the fake Hitler in look who's back not the real Hitler he was not a dog abuser

but the fake Hitler that they made okay sure fake Hitler unappealing in the movie look who's back and and and and Hassan Pasan what do you talk

talking about it's crazy dog abuser dog abuser number one champagne socialist and dog abuser here is uh here's hasan uh electro shocking his dog let me play this clip i don't know if you supposedly allegedly allegedly obviously hasan obviously zapping the shit out of his dog for uh well we'll see moving during his stream let's play it share screen uh uh uh This one. Okay. Here it is. Get ready.

This is a disturbing video. And we'll probably get a channel strike for playing animal abuse on the channel. It's very possible. Who does? But this is Hassan Piker. He's a known, closeted homosexual and socialist. And a terrorist sympathizer. And this is his poor...

This is his poor dog who's used who he's using as a prop in his stream to appeal to the deranged whores that watch him and this is here. I'm just going to play it.

This is him abusing and torturing his dog. Here you go. Of all of America's much more consequential violence. Okay? It's the same reason

as to why America. Kaya, please just fucking go. Just stop. Whoa. Oh. Jesus Christ, what are you doing? You're being such a baby.

It's just... You're making her stressed. She just literally is so incredibly spoiled from my mom. Oh, no. Oh, my God, that's like Norman Bates shit, dude. He gets panicked and does violent shit and then immediately invokes his mother. That's fucked up.

No, she doesn't want to come over here to see. That is a little bizarre. Right? Isn't that weird? Yeah. He immediately, like, it's like a Ted Bundy serial killer shit. He's the fucking roam the house because she got to roam the house when I was gone. And she needs to literally have the same structured, regimented. Bro.

He's still seething about it. By the way, the dog just yelped. The dog, the dog, he hasn't addressed the yelping and the cowering in the corner yet. he's just for those of you listening to the audio podcast asan was streaming his dog like gets up from her little bed yeah and he like immediately like freaks out for some reason you're like i don't know man sometimes you don't just want to lie in one spot for eight hours five hours human talks to his computer especially if you're a dog you might want to like you know rush you know especially if you're around a little bit.

Yeah. Especially if he's saying shit about like socialism. You're like, I gotta get out of here. I'm a, I mean, this guy's fucking saying insane stuff about socialism and the government stuff. His reaction is like so fucking alien where he's like, oh my God, can you guys believe this dog? And I'm like, no, explain it to me. What's the issue exactly? What did the dog do?

It's like, well, the dog just got up. And you're like, yeah, we'll do that, man. My mom lets it, lets the dog go wherever. like uh oh okay yeah uh that doesn't seem like a problem they do that they go wherever they will do that i mean they kind of just do that uh look i knew i knew hasan was a weird guy and i guess i didn't want to believe this at first because i was like well this is just too insane why would he just you know i saw you tweeting some really i have no idea what you're talking about i have no idea what It was deleted, but I saw you say something pretty crazy about this when it first happened.

Well, because I said, no, he didn't shock his dog. Why would he shock his dog? And then it seems like... Why would he? I mean, okay, well, here's why it's confusing, because he's not, he's like, I don't know what's going on. Okay, let's watch it again. Let's watch it again. Let's do a play-by-play.

Okay. So the dog is, the dog's uncomfortable because, like, you get bed sore. I mean, you're laying in the same spot. You got to move around. Yeah, it's not comfortable. You got to get up. Even dogs are like 50. My fat ass.

lab will move every 20 minutes, you know? Yeah. And she's the laziest dog in the world. Okay, here you go. Of America's much more consequential. So the dog's kind of walking around her little raised platform, which they don't really love. Which is not a large, yeah, and it should have a larger space anyway.

Yeah. Yeah. Violence. And then the dog decides I'm going to get off my little raised platform and maybe stretch my legs out. Just stretch. Stretch a little bit. Yeah, like you're riding a plane, right? Okay. Yeah. It's the same reason as to why America.

Kaya, please just... And he flipped... Look, dude, he's already flipping out, and all the dog is doing is standing, like, slightly off the bed. Yeah, dude. She's not even, like, doing anything at all. So, like,

what does he expect the dog to do? This is, like... And it's not even like the dog's coming to him for attention. Like, play with me, blah, blah, blah. The dog is, like, completely minding its own business, just kind of like, yeah, I'm just gonna stand in,

Just stand around Yeah Okay, so he Look at his eyes He's looking at something He's angry at the dog Right now Yeah

And he's identified something To his left You see his eyes He's pissed at the dog And he's looking at something At his left That he then reaches for With his left hand, right?

You see that? Right Okay It's fucking go Stop Okay Then he He has something

He looks Away Like he's done looking for it and the dog yelps and jumps back into position do you see that it's so it's confusing

he obviously zapped the dog right what's the other explanation for that oh and he doesn't let's see you know the dog yelps and he has it's not surprising to him at all

right the dog goes and he's totally unfazed by it because he knew it was going to happen I've never shocked a dog, so I don't know what shocking a dog looks like. That's all I can say, okay? I don't know. If he shocked the dog,

if he shocked the dog, it's bad, you know. People have zoomed in on the viral footage. There's a green blinking light on the color. It is some sort of electronic collar, right? They don't, they don't yelp and jump when you vibrate them.

A vibrate, like, but did he say I activated the vibration? he said I have a vibrator on the dog and I activated the vibration. I know he think I think he said there's like a vibrating call. So he admitted that he did something. He is clicking something. Yes. So his

story is that he vibrated the dog but then also wasn't concerned that the vibration caused the dog obvious pain and fear. Yeah. Which makes no sense. And then he showed

his vibrating device and it's just obviously the shock collar with the prongs removed or chopped off with electrical tape over it. Okay, Asan has addressed the claims in the clip below. Do you want to see a clip of him and what he claims happen? Yeah, sure. Wait, let me play

this, because this is further... This is for their animal abuse, and I have to call it dog abuse, because I already did animal abuse. Uh, here is... That's fine. Look, let's just call it shot callers. That's fine. Do that. Uh, because I wanted to have abuse in there. Dog abuse. Sure.

Okay, look, this is a five-hour stream. that this poor... I hate that everyone's like Vito's defending us on. I'm just trying to figure out what happened because it's confusing to me. He's shocked the dog because he's a fucking psycho. Because he's an abusive,

terrorist sympathizing probably... I mean, the FBI says animal abuse and rape go together. Like the FBI says the crimes of animal abuse and rape have a high quality. I told me only one guy shot Charlie Kirk

and now I've learned that's not true, so I don't know what to believe. Okay, so the dog is sitting there for two hours and then Hassan Go, but you stop So the dog is sitting in the same place for two hours bro That's horrifying

And now he has to sit there For two more hours Like he's on a cross-country flight Fuck Dude that's the guy That's uh Now that's the real animal abuse Is uh

Look at that Forcing your dog to just sit in this little square man Mm-hmm that's crazy there you go has anyone has anyone comment have many animal people commented on that like you can't have a dog just

sit in one spot for four hours that's fucking nuts I don't know I don't think I think they most of the animal people are probably like retarded liberals so they don't want to rock the boat

like because he's a he's a retarded liberal so here's his explanation you want to hear him sing sure what he claims it to be okay I remember when he had that swastika sword and he had to explain that

I mean everybody has swastika sword it's no big deal well I'll have a swastika sword all right are you playing it I thought I was did I put mine on I think you put yours on

I didn't put mine on I put mine on and the most can you hear it spoiled best kept after dog on the planet

is actually being abused by me apparently because I gave her the place command while she was getting off and then he rapes the dog he said he gave it

the place command while she was getting off while she was getting he was masturbating the dog her little mat I guess is what he means oh okay yeah that's that's my understanding of it

that's bigger these shadows don't know she broke the other beds yeah she'd broken the previous bed bro okay how bro that dog is being abused four hour streams every day of us on I can't imagine yeah I thought he showed the collar at some point I was like trying to say it's not a shock collar guys

my evil villain lair dude look he looks like he's about to cry I didn't see this fucking trap door button instead accident. He's making jokes about it. I mean, I guess. She reviewed food online, she helped? No, she went This is how he talks. This is how... This is how he talks?

Like, this is how... I assume she, like, either stepped funny or clipped her fucking... See, he's saying she stepped funny. Right. And, like, stepped on her own toe or something. And he wasn't worried at all. Like, dogs...

I'm dogs very rarely will yelp. like that in pain. Sure. But he's also admitted that like the dog has some sort of special electronic collar, which he claims is a vibrating collar. Right. Uh, why does he have that? What, what do you need a vibrating collar for? Why is he activating it? Because she's getting off the bed after two hours during a stream. Well, he's saying he didn't activate it here. He's saying, no, no, I have the vibrating collar, but I didn't use it. Oh. Uh, he's saying, saying she stepped on her own foot when she got off the bed or something.

Oh, she stepped on her own foot. That's why this is all so confusing. For whom? Hassan confirms, well, because he's saying, well, his story is confusing. Let's be clear. Oh, yeah, his story's confusing, yeah. His story is very confusing where I go, okay, so you admit you have some sort of special caller, but we don't know why it is, and also you didn't use it.

And all of the other, all of the other clips that people have been showing are either the air tag or the vibration collar that she has, which I use when she is free roaming. You didn't repeat the claims until now? No, I have. I have. I did immediately. I did. This is a very sick person. I did. okay this is a very sick person um so i think he's he's gonna take the collar off and show it no he's getting a drink cool fridge my dog is a vibration collar like that because a shot collar wouldn't stop the barking yeah and the vibration collar for uh off leash training doesn't work in the way that you guys think it does as man was making it worse look i'd never heard of a vibration collar before this i

guess they do exist. Yeah, they exist. They don't do shit. But it would have been better, I think, if he had said, oh, no, no, I activated her vibration collar, which is still insane. Because he's obviously activating something. Right? Yeah.

Like, he's obviously reaching for something. And then the dog yelps, and he reacts as though he caused it. Like, he anticipated it and caused it. He does, like, have this weird knee-jured reaction. Look at this. This is. Yeah, that's not good. Oh, man.

This is his other dog This is another dog Okay in front of everyone The dog's like acting totally normal Like it's excited It's at a park Okay All right

If you run right now I'll fucking kill you Yeah yeah I mean I say shit like that to my cats all the time I don't mean it Yeah I'll pull him by the tail though You can't do that

That is so bad, so bad. So bad. Animal abuse. Animal abuser, Hassan Piker. Oh, Sam Hyde has to come free this dog. He's got to come kick Hassan's door down and kick his head off and take this, and free this poor dog. This is terrible. Pulling their tails?

That's something you have, that's like, that's something you get upset at toddlers for. Like, hey, do not. Do not pull the tail. pull the ears fuck around but don't pull the tail it's very bad I'm just fixated on the idea that the dog's been lying in the same place for two hours it goes ah let me stretch my legs and he goes

I can't believe you've fucking done this I can't believe you fucking done this and you're like dude let the dog stretch its fucking legs what are you freaking out about it's like fucking mental it's so weird it's crazy the dog just like literally is just like

ah you know I've been lying in this one spot Maybe I'll, like, spin around. Oh, my God, guys, can you fucking believe my shit dog? My mom, my fucking mom, my bitch mom lets you do anything that it wants. My mom forgets and hit it and pull it's tail. Psycho. Total psycho. Very, it definitely, look, I didn't know a lot about Hassan, but seeing that video, I was like, oh, this guy's nuts.

About 1.8% of U.S. adults admit to committing animal abuse with men, lower income individuals and those with less education, more likely to target dogs. 1.8% of Americans admit to animal pleasure, which I have mastered. 3 million dogs. Now that I got those big swabs for my Pokemon cards. I'm like the things I can do with these. Yeah, I bought the swabs. The swabs, I'm not giving the guy.

10 swabs? You go on Amazon. I got like 100 swabs for like two bucks. 16%. of animal abusers progress to human violence which is murder or rape

16% wow it doesn't say anything about like how many dogs they're abusing but that's the stats how about that I could see

well Hassan's raping America that's his plan oh rape is only rape because they want control and Hassan has managed to exert control over millions of young people

so it's like the ultimate form of race somebody's got to protest that what he's doing with that dog. They got to go protest at like the Earth Cafe or something. Yeah, wherever he is next time. Dress up like a dog, get a dog. See, Alex Stein. Did Alex Stein show get canceled? Somebody said? Or am I

crazy? I hope so. Man, we got to get he's got to get back to doing like, you know, not. All right. Look, I'll do it, but somebody's got to do it. Next time Hassan has like a public event, send me a message. I'll get the dog costume. Yeah, stop abuse.

Dick, if you want to dress us Hassan and have a big button that says shock and we can just go follow Hassan around and I'll just go Ah! You'll go, how dare you move? How dare you? Yeah.

We just follow Hassan from play. He keeps going to these fucking protests. Let's do like mattress girl. We'll take those mats. Go to the bed and put it on our backs and walk around. I think following Hassan all day around all day, wearing dog costumes.

Yeah. And every time he goes to. play on his, every time he takes out his phone he presses his phone, we go, oh, he's shocking us again. Oh, God, he's shocking again. You go, shut up, stop it. Leave me alone. We're like, Hassan, why? We just wanted to stretch our legs.

We just want to stretch our legs. We just want to stretch our legs and son, why do you do this? I'm a good dog. All right, I like that bit. So if anybody can find any public appearances for his side, he's in L.A., we should be able to find him. That's what I mean. Let's just go to like the Starbucks, where he's

goes to and put up flyers like this man abuses dogs like put that yeah we're gonna find

we're gonna find we're gonna we're gonna stock that'd be fun this plan okay that's my problem that's anyway

I was gonna say Alex Stein if you if you want to do it you're welcome to that's the kind of that's the kind of stunts we need in America yeah

I think here's my problem I'm trying to sell my stuff I want it gone I have too much stuff I keep buying more stuff I don't need I know it's a problem But here's the other problem Is a problem I'm calling

Everybody wants a piece What the fuck is with The platform fees on all of these platforms Yeah they're crazy It seems like selling stuff on the internet Okay we can all just access each other We can communicate with each other And like a guy shows up and he goes

What have I made a website And all the stuff you want to sell You can list it on my website And you go, oh, that'd be, okay, that'd be very useful. And you go, how about I get a little taste? Everybody wants a little taste. And I go, okay, well, you built the website. I understand you want a little taste.

Tell you what, I bet if you took 1% of everything sold on your fucking website, that would be millions upon millions of dollars. Because all you did was set up a website. 1%, that would be totally reasonable. And they go, yeah, that would be reasonable. How about 13%? And you go, what the cock's sucking fuck? What do you mean?

What are you doing? And they're like, well, I got the website. And they're like, that's just a website. That's it. You're not shipping the fucking thing. You didn't buy the fucking thing. All you did was set up a fucking website. And they go, yeah, but it's a pretty big website.

So go somewhere else. Yeah. And then you go somewhere else and they go, yeah, that fucking guy sucks. Nobody uses this guy, though. Yeah. Well, they'll either go, we're only 10% and we got half as many users. Yeah. God fucking damn it.

Now look, when this shit first started out, when eBay started out in 1996, here's how much it cost, okay, to list an item, it was between 25 cents up to a maximum of $2, okay, to list the item, you would pay per listing, final value fee was 5% on the first $25, $2.5 on the first $1,000, and $1.25 above. of $1,000. I remember that. So that means, yeah. If you sold an item for $100, the fees you would pay would be $3.6%, $3.63.

Okay. And you go, okay, $100 item, you give eBay $3.60, totally reasonable. Modern eBay's fee structure. Most categories is a 12.9% to 14.5% pay. fee. Other categories like clothing are up to 15 percent, not to mention a 30 cents per transaction order.

And if you want to have a store, that's a $300 a month store subscription. So with a 13.20, basically, you're ending up paying 13.5%. You got to give eBay $14 fucking dollars to sell one fucking thing on eBay. And if they don't, and they'll send it back

to you. If the buyer And if the other guy doesn't like it and he goes, you know what? I didn't even get it. eBay, I'll go, yeah, he probably didn't get it. Let's take, I'm going to take you money back. I got, I got tracking. What do you mean?

It says he got it. Yeah, he said he didn't get it though. They'll take it out of your bank account. Yeah, 100%. Or they'll just close your PayPal account, cape all your fucking money. Okay? It's not just that Etsy raising their transaction fees up to 6.5%.

Shopify has increased its base monthly cost. by 25% for a yearly fee of $2,500. Wait, what? Shopify did what? Shopify went up like last year, remember? For how much? It went up, it was like, it used to be like

20 bucks a month, that was like 40 bucks a month. Oh, yeah, a month. Yeah, I thought you said percent. Yeah, the month, no, no, the monthly fee on Shopify. Well, I was going to say the only good, the only good thing about Shopify is that they don't charge your percentage on the fucking, uh, actual thing. Yeah. Shopify seems to be like the last place, but here's the problem with Shopify is nobody can find

your fucking Shopify store Okay, because I listed a bunch of shit on Shopify and they go, yeah, it's all, don't worry, it's all going to show up. If you put stuff in your Shopify store, it shows up on their shop app, have used the shop app? No, no one used Shopify for that, do they? I know.

Well, sometimes they do. It's just you go to someone's site. Like Kanye's site. Well, I was selling a couple. I'm not looking for general purpose swastika shirts. I was selling a couple items, and I said, how the fuck are people finding this item? I don't really advertise it. And I found out they're on the shop app, buying it on the shop app.

So are you listing magic cards on the shop app? Yes, I am, but they don't show up on the fucking shop app. So I'm getting fucked. I'm going, how do I get this show up on the shop app? Yeah. And they're going, no, it's up there. And they're going, and I'm going, it's only up there if you'd like specifically search for the store, which nobody.

he's ever going to do. Real quick, I'm going to share my screen. Okay. So now, when you go to godfather dot games to buy my shit, because it needs to be gone. Wait, this is your final fantasy stuff. This is my, yes, I'm putting up things and I even printed out a little 3D stand so I can take pictures of the games I got. Yeah, I got the original Silent Hill on here. I'm going to put up more video games.

Well, I'm selling it for $2.25, which is $25 off. $200 for a PlayStation game? Who the fuck is going to pay that? It's normally $250 on fucking eBay. Well, I don't know, but that's what it goes for. I'm not ripping people off. That's a good deal. That's a ripoff.

You go on eBay. That's a ripoff. The point is that this is how I have to sell my stuff now because I can't just put it on eBay like a normal person. Because I don't fucking live. No, why did you do restock and all? Like, what do you mean? Because you want someone, you want someone to show up on the site and think that this is like a legitimate small business that has been in operation for more than a day, you know?

So you want someone to show up on the website. That doesn't say that. That doesn't tell me that. That tells you, oh, restocked. That means they stocked it before. That means they've done at least one sale. If you were doing, why didn't you do like, I've done no sales. Established 1970 or something like that.

Like something that would say. Maybe I should. Maybe I should do that. It looks like an Indian wrote that. Look, I'm still, I just started building Godfather. Dot Games and I'm still putting stuff up, okay? So this is a placeholder, obviously. What the hell is that thing in the background?

What? Did you make that? Did you make that? It asked me for an image for the background. Oh, it's a pack. It's a bunch of packs. Yeah, I got to change the image. It looks like shit.

Okay. I set the website up two days ago, okay? I'm just getting it set up. It looks bad. I know it looks bad, but it's also not on the shopping. app, so I'm fucked. The whole point was that I'm like, oh, it'll show up in the shop app, and then I'll get rich, and it doesn't.

Look. Yeah, but who would be searching for Final Fantasy Restock Live or whatever you call it? Look, okay. You didn't even put like Magic the Gathering in the title. I don't fucking know. Silent Hill. Whoa, what do you think people are going to search for? Restock?

Final Fantasy collector pack. It should show up. I should be on the site now. No. Everybody else is on the site. Larry's Game Store, Fat Cats. Where am I? Where is my fucking shit?

I can't sell any of this shit. Why do you think you're going to rank above these guys? I should be somewhere. You're supposed to be able to... Click on one of them. Click on one of them and see how big their store is. Well, yeah, nutmeg. We all know nutmeg games.

There's like, look, I can see from here, there's like 10,000 reviews for that store. Now that, look at that. Look at that. Go back to the header. Go back up to the header. Look at that. That's nice. A bunch of ends is a terrible header.

I like it. And what? Oh, all right. And that's the store that I want to shop at. All right. All I'm saying is... Yours looks fucking retarded.

Well, it's not even their store. That's their shop app store. I don't even know how to get to their actual store. Lasagna games? Oh. Look, the point is, I need to sell the stuff. Look at that. It looks so spammy when you click back to yours.

Why? Because it's like white? Oh, the black on the white? What do I got to do? It's like a zoomed in. It's like a zoomed in that obviously the computer picked the zoom in. All right. I will fix that. That's fair.

Like you don't shop somewhere where it's all caps in the middle of the set. All right. I'll fix that. That's fine. You don't go to like Dillard's like giant restock on it. What do you think about? This looks nice though. I made this little stand with the little thing there.

And then you have one video game with a bunch of magic cards. Well, I got to put more stuff up there. I haven't put it up there yet. Okay, but look, I mean, I printed a little, I printed this little 3D stand. Somebody goes, well, obviously he's not a scam. He wouldn't 3D print a little stand if it was a scam. That's got to be real. I don't know about that 3D print thing.

That looks kind of suss. All right. Well, all I know is I have the bare bones of my new video game selling with, welcome to our store. I got to get rid of that. That's fucking weird. Just a little banner that says, welcome to our store. Because again, I wanted to sell this shit on eBay, but they take all your fucking money. You don't make anything.

Dude, after shipping and cost or whatever else, it's like I had like a thing up there and I sold it for 20 bucks and I looked at the amount of money I was going to make. And I said, fuck it. I'll just sell it anywhere else. I'm not going to make anything selling it for 20 bucks. Yeah, that's true. Your whole empire is crumbling. My empire of dirt is falling apart. I have tried selling stuff locally, but we all know what a fucking boondoggle that.

is. You got to deal with every Mexican going, what's the best deal you can give me? And I go, that, this is the best deal. And they go, no, no. How about, how about $40? And I go, it's a $300 fucking arcade machine. They go, okay, $50 maybe I could do. And I'm like, God fucking damn it, no. This is my life now. I'm devoting time to making a Shopify store no one will ever see. It sounds like a huge waste of time It is a huge waste of time Yeah Alright is that your problem

That's my problem Okay my problem is eBay rapes me Not looking stuff up before you Not looking your ideas up Beforehand before doing them Yeah here we go Let me load I guess we have a lot of videos today

But whatever John Smith is accusing me of having a home printed cover That is the original Silent Hill manual man you go not looking stuff up I love this guy this guy's a genius

this idiot turned this idiot turns plastic it's a fuel it's a gasoline a process called a pyrolysis I think

yeah yeah yeah get in there with that Starbucks you don't drive this car go back go back and I'm starting up

It ain't start It ain't starting It's not starting It's going to eat His own E Is on E Yeah All right

You guys saw it Why are they in the wind How did he organize this? All right So now empty tank How tall is he Plastoline

110 off 10 up 10 I don't know So he turned His invention is that he turned Plastoline Plastoline He turns plastic into gasoline

Wow Um Um Yeah And he's talk He's online Let's see it Yeah let's see it

Y'all want to see Y'all said I couldn't do it Y'all said I couldn't do it Here we go Here we go Plastoline Plastoline Plastolim

Dino Mike That's real now That's real That's real Rade He's spilling it all over the place Oh why is he spilling it Why are you spilling it man

He didn't invent a nozzle I guess They didn't invent one of those backfire Yeah Wow Wow Wow Wow

Wait that's just plastic By product He can't That can't work It's just plastic It's just plastic Hit it. Oh, my God damn.

Oh, loaded, loaded, loaded, loaded. Oh, no, oh, hang there, oh, hang there, oh, bangoray, bangoran. Um, now what he's, he's doing is turning plastic into it. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Dick, I got to interrupt you. Uh-huh. We have just witnessed Wakanda technology. It's real.

The black man has access to certain mystical sciences that the white brain cannot access. Right. And what I expect to hear from you here is I cannot believe that we have kept the black man down for so long when they are ready to contribute such genius scientific innovations to our society. So go ahead and praise this man for his invention. I guess maybe we should. I mean, anything to get them interested in science, right? Get them into STEM. That's what matters.

Well, don't get them into STEM. Just keep them busy. If you guys are doing science fair shit. I love that the black form of science is not a guy going, well, actually, the process they're coming up with, he's like, y'all watch me put the plastic in the car. I'm going to put the plastic in the gas tank. Y'all watch, you don't think I can do it, but I'm going to do it. A white guy would be there in a lab code.

You'd be all stuff. He'd go, well, the process of transferring, this is better. This is better science, I'm going to say. I like this. Julian, this guy's- Julian Brown. Julian Brown is his name. When it comes to black scientists,

I'll take this guy over whatever that. Fucking Neil deGrasse Tyson. He tried to force himself on a young white woman, I think, at some point. Very bad. Whatever he did. I believe it. You probably shocked a million fucking dogs.

This is the form of black science I want to see. It's a whole bunch of black guys with cell phones. Not only do I turn plastic waste

into gasoline, diesel and jet fuel, but I also make natural gas. And the funny thing about natural gas is that, well, you can't see it.

But you don't have to see it to believe it. Oh, what a line. Here. Right now I have about 50 PSI of complete compressed plastic made

natural gas and like I said before sometimes reality transcends we can see don't take a look the best you can he's like a magician

sometimes reality transcends yeah you may or may not see anything on camera but there is something there no he can see that he can see

the wizard's shit maybe they can see fire and it's very much alive Oh, be careful. Be careful. Very much powerful. So that's, what he's doing there is not safe.

None of, no, not at all. Nothing that he's doing is, uh, look, black science is fun. It's not safe. That's not the key. We've removed leaded gas from, from, uh, we removed lead from gasoline for you guys. And now you're turning, you're burning plastic to turn it into gasoline. Uh, you know, sometimes you've got to burn a couple plastics to make the moon.

that much closer. Yeah. This is incredible. I love this guy. Yeah. Somebody in the chat says, you know, a good episode would be Benjamin Franklin meets this guy and they do science together. Tyrone, you're just burning plastic.

No, no, no, this is better. This is better than gasoline. Yeah. But doesn't the plastic, Julian, doesn't the plastic come from gasoline? Yeah, that's right. That's right, Benjamin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now I'm turning it into gasoline.

Right, but gasoline was used to make it. I would assume that there's... Would you just be better to use the gas? Right, but I put it in the gas tank of the cars or the car can drive. Benjamin... Yeah, I know Benjamin. They're all Benjamin. The whizzy goes, woo, woo!

You got to look up, you just... You have an idea. Is it ever happening to you where somebody gives you an idea and you're like, yeah, that idea is... I mean, that's called the gasoline. We already have that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I'm saying? That's my problem.

People who don't look up the idea. Well, wait, you're saying that this... People don't look up their ideas. Well, this guy, what does he need to look up? He's the inventor of plastic gas. Turning plastic into gasoline. Yeah, he invented that. He had that technology for quite a while.

It's toxic, but not like this. He spends more energy making it. No, no, no. I guess they never put it in muscle cars. However, the white man was doing it, I'm going to assume this genius black inventor figured out a better way otherwise there wouldn't be a bunch of people with their

cell phones in the fucking window of the car dealership or whatever it is filming it. The sentiment the sentiment over it is the can't wait for white people to say this you know to take credit for this

I think a Japanese person invented this to you know be careful you're going to get killed by big gasoline and Julian himself is saying that too He's worried about getting killed He's got to look out man And number three

The people who say Well you know Just because it's dumb and it's existed for a long time Doesn't mean that it's not a good start Doesn't mean that it's not still good At least his heart's in the right place I guess they're saying But it does

I'm saying is Look if what's going to rise Black men out of poverty Is breaking down plastic can do an extremely inefficient form of gasoline. In a toxic process. Isn't that better than getting them off and then having them on the streets? Yes. Yes.

We should be funding this. I take it back. We should be funding this. Yeah. So what? You just put a bunch of plastic waste in a barrel, give yourself cancer, and you get like a little bit of gasoline back out of it? Yeah, basically. Yeah. You burn it. You're burning plastic. Yeah. Which is great for the environment, I'm sure.

atmosphere. Um, it's actually, it's actually bad. Burning plastic. Can they stop him though? Like, can the government tell him, hey man, there's a reason you're not allowed to burn all this plastic. I don't know. I think he's a sovereign citizen. It seems like this violates some sort of EPA guidelines of some form. Hey, look, he's got white guys with him. What's this? Oh, he sells an all natural bug repellent as well. This guy's, this is the Benjamin Franklin of our times. This is the, I hate to tell you this. This is the hero of our story. All right, guys, I'm out here in Jacksonville and I'm with the squad and we are out here in a very mosquito area a very marshy area very mosquito area on an island swamp so we got zaparoma Bill Gates has spent

billions trying to deal with mosquitoes the best test for it so you guys ready to protect yourselves yes sir let's go ahead put it on something your grandma would make for real I can tell some of mama just take all this plastic I burned and rub it on your body What the hell is Zapparama? Yeah, yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yeah.

Here, I'll tell you what Zaporama is. It's Jabarama's flagship blend of essential oils. Oh, no, yeah, I didn't put any on it. I'm about to regret it. Look at that. I want some Zaporoma. It literally is going to your face because your body's covered with it and bouncing off your face. All right.

That's my problem. I'm looking at Zapparoma right now. It's a mixture of shay butter, almond oil, tapioca starch, and essential oils. Yeah. Which I'm sure works better than the spray you can just get that was formulated by fucking science. Just get off. Just get off.

Yeah. Well, what are you going to do? All right. That's the show. Wait, that's it, right? That's it. We nailed it. Dog abuse.

Guys who don't look up their ideas. Uh, uh, uh, everyone wants to taste and something with cards. Knowing you're getting ripped off. Okay, that's the show. Patreon.com slash biggest problem. Go to biggest problem. Wanting to be the snake oil salesman, but only being able to purchase the sale, the snake oil. So if anybody can figure out what that formula is. Somebody knows what it is. Somebody in the comments tell me what it is. It's got to be. I've read all these things. We were like, oh, it's like turtle wax diluted down or something. And I'm like, well, what is it actually? Tell me. Yeah. what is kurt's card spray because i know kurt look kurt is not a scientist he's a nice guy

and i i'm sure he figured out the the perfect strength of pbc tubing to massage a fucking cardboard back in a place but i don't know man i i feel like we could just figure it out okay well that's the show that's the show uh we're going to read some super chat guys vote on all the problems biggest problem that show new bonus episode biggest problem and conspiracies featuring our exciting show pitch for all about the Benjamins available at patreon.com slash biggest problem and don't forget to watch my short which people are torn on the comments are Vito you have two of your own channels to post low effort swap on and this is hilarious and shows if you don't put in a minuscule amount of effort into being funny he would

succeed. Okay. So people some people like it and some people go Fido, you can post this garbage literally anywhere. I just thought it was fun. Ah, the AI is getting good. It can never get... It can never get good. What do you mean? It's getting good. It's already good. No.

No. No, it will never be... It will never be good. I saw... I saw Ash from Pokemon summon Garfield. And he went, go Garfield. Garfield came out of the poker ball and then he went and Misty and Brock went and then Ash went well is somebody gonna get him some lasagna and I said good I'm glad

this exists yeah but that's identical to you explaining it the visual of that is just the same as you explaining it I guarantee somebody right now is looking that video up going well I got to see this it was pitch perfect okay All right Cameron says Super killed for two Super killed my memory of the comic Coof for five

Thank you for not killing yourselves And thank you Vito for finally fixing your audio Did that guy show up That Indian guy Today That question doesn't mean anything to me What? El Gunil for two

Vito your audio is still screwed Get that fixed Pig emoji A Piga Spider Returnal for two Will the Brotherhood of Weight Watchers assemble

SCAR for 5, October 29th. Vito audio is so terrible that Gavin Newsom's son had enough and demanded equal audio mandated by law. Kicks Mechanic for 20. Hey Dick, big fan. How's about you take it easy on Vito? Not go so personal on air for the homie. He may start arguing in the background. But dude usually doesn't air it on live. Much love to both of you. Letter and a number. Miss the old show. format. I'm sorry to hear that. Kicks mechanic. Thank you for the money. Shoebox kingdom for two. Vito Head Scum plus Lull plus Maldor plus cum fart poop ass. Elguniel for two.

Comfort poop ass. Comfass. CpFA Riley and Friends for five. I can't wait to hear Vito's new fixed audio. I'm sure it's great. Tab for five. Dick should use a shock caller in Vito. We have never seen video evidence that it works. No low energy shows. Fan harmony. garbage buying addiction cured

thank you tab Vito's cat for five I love the peacemaker finale I hope you make a video about a Vito it's groundbreaking like the scream movies were I haven't watched it yet I've been watching the season off and on it's all right

King Caprici for five If it's so easy Smiling Friends is back I'm watching that That's a good show King Caprizi for five If it's so easy to just do things Just eat less calories

That's the opposite of doing things Duff fan 1, 234 for 2 He'll turn veto, shitting on fan contribs, Vito. Jack Strap for 10 Canadian. I need a lot of work with this joke. Oh, 20 Canadian. What do you call an egg at rest? A, I don't know, but it sounds pretty egstatic.

Oh, biggest problem, working jokes. That's terrible. I come buckets for two. My favorite movie is The Devil Wears Prada. Riley and Friends for Two, Am I Racist, was not too bad. Some people have said that. I think Dick said that. Am I racist?

The gentleman's... Am I racist was the Daily Wires. Wasn't that their documentary? Oh, God. It was like, it was tedious. No. I remember you told me to watch it and I just... I think I had a mental block.

And I'm like, I just can't watch Matt Walsh. It's such a waste of time. Matt Walsh should have just read Martin Luther King's. I had a dream speech over and over. And had that be the whole movie. I think it would have been a more... Classic. Better.

More powerful. Yeah, it would have been... It was what he was trying to do, but it would have been, like, better version of that. Well, he's not really doing anything these... He's complaining a lot. All these guys do is complain. Maybe we'll see them all at the halftime spectacular. The gentleman's sausage for five.

You could formerly call the show it's all about the Benjamins, but fans call it the Benjamins as shorthand. That's how always sunny works. Garrett Pelland for five, idiot here. Enjoy the $5. Thank you. Surgery for two. Two bucks for you to look at the fog machine and do nothing. That should be easy to accomplish.

Mr. Emrath for two. Hashtag Vito Nation, we are so back. I would think Vegas for five. It's about the Benjamins for SEO. In related news, did you see the adopted daughter that tortured the mayor with a knife? Why would you need an SEO for a television show? Yeah, I don't know what did you mean about for SEO, but it's not really a TV show thing. And no, I have not heard about a mayor

And the dumbest version possible. That's not a saying. Yeah, about the Benjamin's is the worst. Like, it's either, it's all about the Benjamins or the Benjamins. Yeah. Yeah. I think it works either way. Pine Apple Man for two says, I hope you bought the dip.

Shout out of Schmidt and card. Man, did you see the chain link like flash collapse today? Oh, did it? Dude, I was watching it. Because I was watching the market. I was watching Chain Link and it was at like 17 bucks. I'm like, oh, that's a pretty. pretty big dip and I was at 13 bucks

and I went oh shit and then I went to eight bucks and I said wait what the fuck is going on Dick but then I was like this I'm like is this like a rug pull situation and I'm like no it's chain link that's not and then it but then it came back up to 17 I bought a shit ton

at 10 and I wish I had bought more yeah today and it's back to 17 I was fast dude it happened in like the span of like a second I think everybody's stop losses got Where did you buy it? On Robin Hood. Oh, was it just Robin Hood?

Probably not just Robin Hood. No, it crashed everywhere, dude. It dropped to like eight bucks for Chainlink, and I went, what the fuck's going? It happened to all the, it happened to dogg as well. I was trying to buy a bunch of other crypto. Yeah, but like, the flash crash was like clearly just a weird fucking everybody's stop loss is getting hit. I assume because all the crypto is dropping. But yeah, I bought a ton of dogg at 10.

It's back to 17. I don't know What's a ton? You know like 10 shares, 20 shares Not a ton What's a ton of Doge? Well, I tried to get more But I could

I tried to get like a thousand bucks But like the fucking orders Weren't going through You tried to get a thousand dollars Of Doge coin But the order wasn't going through Yes, that's correct So then you did it again

Boy tried to get it again Well yeah It didn't go through So you're like I'm gonna Fuck, I got to get this order through again. I did try the order a second time, yes. Did you get it? No, it never went through.

How the fuck do they have a not working crypto desk at Robin Hood? I don't know. I don't know. Something was going on. It's the easiest one. I bought like $500 for the chain, like at $10. I would have bought more, but my other orders weren't going through. How much money did you buy in crypto today?

$500 in fucking chain. Now I bought a little bit of Bitcoin. and Ethereum because they also dipped. How much did you buy total? Maybe like a grand. Total? Yeah. Okay.

I don't have that much fucking money to play around with. I wish. Thousand bucks. That's a lot. I didn't spend no thousand bucks today. Yeah, but it's buying a fucking acid. It's not going to go to zero, you know? You might lose like...

It's not an asset. Well, I'm not buying... I was going to buy it for a thousand, then flip it like 20 minutes later when it came back up a little bit. Okay. That was going to be a flip. That was going to be a flippy dip. But I didn't get to do a flip.

Okay. I could have done a flip on chain link buying for eight bucks. You have the, now you have the, now you have the asset. No, I don't have any dog. I didn't get any dog. No, I have the chain link. I could, I would hold the chain link. I wanted to add to my chain link anyway.

I was waiting for a tip. Well, congrats. AMD went crazy last week. I made some money on that, Vito Stock Tips. Although I never really talked about it. AMD on here. Jubal the man for two. Vito's cooked. Skull Pig's Skull. Pynple man

for two. What's better bunny girls or slime girls? Normally I would have said bunny girls man, but some of that slime girl stuff, I'm like, I get it. I get it. Riley and Friends for two, Vito, I love your hat. Thank you. I recently purchased this. Straturgery for five. With this hypopotion,

you can take the JPEG of your favorite Pokemon cards, increase the contrast called the after image. Yeah, see, I know they're fucking around in Photoshop. Oh, yeah. doing Photoshop tricks. That makes sense. But here's fish nuts for five and he says Kurt's card care is worth it. I've had cards that were PSA

6, cleaned them and had him come back PSA 10s. Works great for sports cards, Pokemon. Dude, I sent you those Kurt's card care videos and you never watched any of them because you never watched anything I send you. Six? Just because it's scratched? Or the whole thing

is scratched? Dude, he shows like a whole process. It's like you've got to clean the little specs. You've got to make sure all the corners are not bent with the PVC tubing. You should have cleaned your card before you sent it in to get graded. Fuck. Yeah, I should have. I tried to tell you that. I'm going to get it sent back. I'll try it again. Have them send them, look at them and see if, I mean, don't, doesn't the PSA website have

images of them? I can't get worse than a six, right? That's what I got. You can't, no, you could probably raise it a grade on a six. If they put a little bit upon. When I send it back. Well, that would actually be good because I get car wax over it. People want, people want the ones. People collect the ones. But don't put car wax on it, but you got to put Kurt's car car car care on there or something. Okay.

I sent you those videos and you didn't watch anyone. El Gouniel for two. What are I going to do? Go buy a bunch of tubes and goo? Yeah. Yes. You got to put goos and tubes on the fucking card. You're the one who wanted to get a big PSA grade. You paid like $100 for the fucking PSA process. Did you do

any sort of cleaning? Did you wipe it down at least? Wipe it down. No, I didn't want to get my fingerprints on it. I didn't take it out of the case. It was in that thing for like 25 years. Collecting dust the whole fucking time. You're going to take like a little soft cloth. I didn't know. I didn't think you should touch it at all. I thought they could tell. You should have talked to somebody.

You should talk to Kurt. I messed up. Go watch Kurt's videos. He takes the card and he goes, yeah, you see that little scratch there? We're just going to put a little this cat ball. He doesn't talk like that. What? Puts a little polish on it. It polishes it up. It gets into the crack. and it kind of fills it out a little bit and you know well it is it does look a little bit better. A $50 polish, that's what he's talking about?

Yeah. No, his, uh, Kurtz polish is cheaper, but, oh, this guy, the hyper-potion guy claims his polish is better than Kurtz. He's gone, well, it's a scam artist, though. They're all scam artists. All of it's a scam. They sell them PVC tubing for $20 fucking dollars. They cut it, though. They got to cut it. If he really cared about the community, you would say, here's the PVC tube to buy.

You can get at any fucking hardware store. He doesn't care about the community. doing a business. I fucking hate Kurt. You just want free tubes. Look at this motherfucker. I'm going to show you here. Look at it. Tell me you love Kurt.

Tell me you love Kurt. I don't need to watch this. It's super chat time. Elguni all for two. Vito, just clean the cards with a slime treatment. Look at this scam. And where are you going to pay Kimball his money? I already did.

This includes removing oils and fingerprints and dirt. I don't want to watch a fucking ad. Fucking scammer. What is... What are scratches? Scratches out. What prison gang gave him this tattoo?

And he got out of prison, he said. I'm going to rip people. I'm going to sell people $20 pbc. Prisoners know what they're doing, probably. Fucking hate Kurt, ripping us all up. Just because he's making $20 on a piece of tube? You're jealous. I am jealous.

I heard, I heard freezing your Pokemon cards makes them more nutritious. Riley and Friends for five. If you sign that Magneton and send it to me, I'll pay you enough for two lunches. Chris X for two. Vito's Magneton has a hollow swirl. Oh, you ruined the hollow you've ruined the swirl. Oh, you fucked up big time. It had a swirl man. Fuck you.

It does have a swirl. You know, it's got a sick swirl too. Oh, you fucked it up. You fucked it up. The Pope pretend. Doesn't every hole have a fucking swirl? No, they don't. And some swirls look stupid. This one's in the bottom right. Can you see it? Oh, I could see it from here. I could see it immediately. You fucked it up. Yeah, so they're fucking up. It looks perfect.

Perfect. That is a nice swirl, I'm going to say. That is a tight-ass swirl, and you fucked it up. The Pope for 10. Hey, Vito, thoughts on dying gay boy. I love him. Keep it up. Rabbit Jazz for five. Hey, Vito Dorito. Drunken Atheist Studio for two. Sank has been waiting to do this to Anna for years. Join Wong for five. Vito, you do not need a Costco hot dog in your life. You need a discipline. Disappren, remember that. Slacker. Riley and Friends for five.

It's funny that the phenomenon of people having their dogs on stream for wholesome chungus points has gone this far. Fast, fat guy, 666 for two, drone strike Hassan. Do you buy the man for five? Stop defending Hassan, team guy Vito. That dog got zapped 100%. His explanation was, I was just, I was confused. I didn't know what he was trying to claim. Riley and friends for five, clearly Hassan accidentally switched the vibrating collar he puts on the dog and the shot collar.

He forgot Johnny Rocket for 10. Why does Vito defend Destiny and Hass? I thought you just said that one. No, neither of them will kill. Many of them will shill super killer, too. There, now I do you use. My bed. Riley says, he switched the vibrating collar, he puts on his dog, and the shock collar, he shoves in his butt. Rabbit Jazz for five.

I never owned a dog myself, but every dog bed I've ever seen was much large. Yeah, dude, that dog bit also sucks. I know some animals might prefer a thin bed, but I don't know, man. That dog does not look comfy. He says, I've seen better beds, not whatever the fuck that black rectangle is. Stratory for two, yes, vibration colors work. kind of bed that he has for him is like an outside bed it sucks it's not comfortable and it should be

way bigger if that's the only if that if the dog's there all day he should have the whole fucking corner of the apartment on a little mat that to me is almost worse than the shot caller well they like sitting under you like if you're if you're streaming a lot they the dog will like to either sit

under you or go ahead if the dog gets up go that's your opportunity to go oh my dog and pet the dog and say hi to the dog not oh my god I can't fucking believe this fucking thing. Can you believe this fucking idiot animal? And you're like, dude, it just stood up. My fucking mom, my dumb bitch

mom did this to me like, whoa. Psycho. There are a lot of, there are a lot of guys, you know, I mean, I watch a lot of Twitch with, or I used to watch a lot of Twitch with video games. There's a lot of guys who have dogs and there's never any of sorts of problems like this. This

was a Hassan only problem. I've never seen it on any other streamer. So Tertory for two. Yes, Vibration Callers work in BDS. M Dungeons. Who for 5. Don't forget eBay slash PayPal records your income to the IRS too.

Everyone wants to pound to flesh. IRS. That's a good point. So turn to your 5. Final Fantasy figurines. Oh, you're doing your taxes right now? I'm also doing my taxes. Yeah, I'm done with them.

A lot of fun. I found a fantasy figuring sales. The true fantasy is thinking the sales are final. Charles Baker for 2. The George Washington Carver of Gas. That guy's peanut recipes were dog shit. We talked about that on the show. man

you look George Washington Carver was like you know everybody knows him as the peanut guy yeah but they don't know

he was insane because he went to Congress and he said peanuts should be the only thing we eat and they're like well we're not just going to eat peanuts

he's like no no no like every household in America should be drawing peanuts I've made this list of a hundred peanut recipes that we can all eat and it's like

bro we're not going to just eat peanuts and he's like they're incredible dude he was like obsessed he's like what if you have to like try and poop because that you can't do that when you're eating he wanted he wanted every night every night he wanted american households to sit down with a roast chicken and a fucking plate of boiled peanuts and he's like that's it that's all we'll eat every fucking night for the rest of our lives and they said how about we have peanut butter sometimes and he said that's an acceptable other solution you know what though that's we're making fun of him but that's like this that guy and this julian guy that's what we did with corn so He was just he picked the wrong crop They're doing something good We should be encouraging more

Black retarded scientists Well George Washington Carver Is here to inspire us all Yeah Gordon Shumway for five Turn into the show And immediately Vito is howling Oh Lordy in a racist voice

We are so bad If you were taking an Uber somewhere during that part Sorry It's Vito's fault Yeah my bed El Gudenol for two what would Benjamin think of Plasted Diesel? I want to know. That'd be a good

episode. You go, well, actually, uh, it seems very dangerous what you're doing. Benjamin, you just don't know. You don't know nothing about no cars. You know nothing about no science. It would be Benjamin Franklin trying to figure out a better way to do it. And at the very end, he figures like, wait a minute. I find

it's the plastics made of gas in the first place. Like, yeah. Well, yeah, he doesn't know. He's just like plastic is foreign to him. She's like, are you telling me these containers are everywhere, it can be turned into fuel? My God, you have. You've struck on something incredible, my boy.

Yeah. And then, yeah, it cuts to him, and he's making the containers. And then he's, Benjamin Franklin is... He's going, I'm making containers, so we can break the containers down and the gasoline. He goes, well, how are you making the containers? He goes, well, first you've got to take the gasoline, and you pour it into this mold here. Yeah.

And he goes, oh, no, oh, no, this is all... No, Benjamin Franklin is trying to, like, reconnect with his great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandson. who's like a big investment banker at Franklin, Franklin Templeton, the investment house, and he comes in with Placostol and gives the big presentation. And they're like, yeah, this is like, that's made, the class is made from gas. And he's like, what?

You know, he totally embarrasses himself. It's basically Black Frazier. The show is Black Frazier. Because I don't know what to do with all this plastic gasoline. Doodle-do-do-do-do. Yvluvon Uvali Fee for 20 says, people who only experience

thermoplastics through Popeye's takeout bags, instead of far more useful applications and think, we can make that gasoline out-dab plastic is some sort of accomplishment. Astounding.

I come buckets or two How to Get Blacks into Science, a hellcat. I understand that joke. I understand it. Uh, let's see. And Johnny Rockin for five since Vito has not paid Kimball, and that's incorrect. I have indeed paid Kimball.

$800. Is that true? Kimball, is that true? Yeah. Kimball. It's in his account. Kimball. Kimball is that true?

He can send the receipt. Kimball. Where do you have Kimball? I have them. On what? You're just looking at the side of the screen. that I have, Kimball. Okay.

Kimball? Kimball, is that true? Are you, are you, are you, are you piping him in? I'm talking to him. I'm looking at them. I'm talking to him. I'm talking to him. Kimball?

Well, why don't you figure out this bit? Kimball? Kimball? Kimble, were you paid your 800 bucks? Kimball. Kimble. Is it true? Kimble.

Is he listening to voice? What is happening? Kimble. Is it true? Can you put the list of supporters on the screen? Kimball? I'm not going to be able to make it to Costco at this point. I'm not getting that hot dog.

Kimball. There it is. Guys, thanks for all your support. Don't forget to vote on all the problems at biggest problem. Show. Check out the bonus episode at patreon.com slash biggest problem. And we'll be back next week with more. I'm not getting an answer from Kimball.

I'm getting it. Because he's busy living high on the hog with that money. I'm getting fucking not. I'm getting fucking not. fucking nothing from Kimball here. Oh, there you go. That's when that's how it goes. Campbell.

Can we end this pit? Campbell? All right. I need an answer. Kimball. Riley and Friends for Two says, don't you try to rip off the silver hammer? Campbell. And I'm going to go have, I'm going to go get some dinner.

Guys, have fun. Take care. And don't forget to turn into the Charlie Kirk football spectacular where I heard a giant golden statue of Charlie Kirk will be wheeled out so that people can sing a song about Jesus at the base. This white's going to burn a big effigy of him so we can all stop thinking about it. They should make a

wicker kirk. A wicker kirk would be fun. And then they can shove a gay guy into it and burn him alive to sacrifice him for fucking carousel or whatever. Get inside the wicker kent. You trans teenager. All right. Bye bye. Bye. ball?