The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 210

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

Test 1-1-2. Hello, hello. Wow, what a day. All super chats have been saved. They're in the back end, guys, so don't worry your super chats are not missing. Bob-Bob, bop, bop, bop. Why? Did you guys say something funny? Was it a lot of money? Fuck you. I bet they said don't kill yourself, or maybe there's some dicks in your ass or something, you know? Something good like that. Biggest. Problem

Chalk Dix and the video quality. Welcome to the biggest problem the universe. He only show that ranks every problem in the universe from Hindu beef to spaghetti sauce, grief, Johnny Rico, Hindu beef. I don't know about that one.

I'd be a intonation there. Behajewaldi. What's up? Not much. How's it going? It's great. It's Christmas time. It is Christmas time.

It's not. It's not Christmas time, bro. It's not even the end of November yet. No, no, no. When is Christmas time? I guess it is the second Halloween ends because I went into the CVS. Yes. They're all the Halloween shit's in the bin and they're already putting up all the candy canes and the music's playing.

Yes, fucking Christmas time, man. What are you waiting for? Two fucking months of Christmas time. Let me tell you something. You can't allow even a second. of time to pass between Halloween and Christmas because they'll cram some black or Hindu festival in.

So it's Christmas time immediately on November 1. Christmas begins. Well, this show, as we know, supports Kwanza. It's an important holiday. They'll cram that shit in him. It celebrates that guy who beat women with an electrical cord

and all he contributed to the black community. That sounds like a Christmas time activity, beating your wife with an electrical. electrical corkway? Was it a hook or your wife? It is fascinating when you like encounter things that you assume are like old

traditions that have been around forever. Yeah. And it turns out no, a guy in the 70s just invented it kind of is a joke. Like that Elfin shelf shit. Yeah. That didn't happen when I was a kid.

No, exactly. Stupid. Or just shit that you think a bad example by Italians and pasta. You know how Italians are always like, We love marinero. We make the marineros.

Did they? You guys, you guys didn't have tomatoes until like 1930 or some shit. Yeah. What did they even eat? Were they even fat Italians back then? I think they ate, I think they had positive,

but like the whole idea of like tomato sauce. No tomatoes? No, no, that was like a recent, not that, not that recent, but like the way they talk about it,

it's like, oh, we've been making pizza pie since the time Jesus Christ was alive. And it's like, No, it's like maybe like 100, 150 years old, you know. But what were they eating with the pasta before the tomato came along? Just clams or like...

Some butter on there maybe? Butter? I seem just butter, yeah. Nudels and butter? Noodles and butter. Who were they eating with the bread? Oil? Also butter.

Yeah, oil. Probably oil, yeah. Just walking around eating oil all day. Well, I don't think they did it all day. I think they did. I think back then you didn't eat as much, you know? It was kind of a treat. What are you talking about?

Didn't eat as much. You know, it's not like you can just go to the grocery store and get some oil. Sure you could. They had oil making back then. They had oil making, but I'm saying, you know, you had to go to the market to get your oil. You had to take your donkey. Yeah, you drink some oil on the way there. Strap to its back.

Drinking oil on the way. Drink some oil on the way back. On average, they would drink three. quarts of olive oil every day in ancient Greece. Did you know that? That's why it was called Greece, famously.

Originally it was called Plujungadoon, but they're just like, man, I just love drinking grease. That's why they had all the anal sex, because they were all lubed up. Everything was too lubed. They couldn't even jack off because their hands are too lubed up. You go to give a guy $5

to buy some oil, and next thing you know, your hands sliding on his, his hand slide on yours, and you're like, why don't we take this in the back because, you know, everybody and they didn't even want to be gay. They were just slipping and sliding on the time on all the oil.

Yeah, exactly. They're like, well, as long as we're covered in all this oil, we might as well do something with it. They're thinking about their wives and stuff. It wasn't gay. They're not thinking about, you know, guys. They're thinking about when. Of course not.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are we caught up now? Did everyone move over? Did everyone move over to the new entirely new stream? To the new, entirely new stream? Tell everyone to move over here Go to the other one

Say we've moved to a better Let them know I'm not playing that fucking movie anymore It's fucked me This is three times now It's fucked me Maybe we get a new movie Although I do like that song

I'm not playing any movies I'm just gonna draw a sign And put a sign up A physical sign I'm gonna do like old time Practical effects they call it Practical effects I think you're misusing

The term practical effects But sure No What's it mean then? I mean, it's not an effect, it's a sign. If I wrote something on a piece of paper, I wouldn't say, look at this effect I made, you know? It looks like the words are magically floating on the screen. What are you talking about?

It's not an effect. It's the effect. It's the effect, but you're just going to write words down. I'm filling up the whole thing, so it looks like the words. When you make a grocery list, do you go, wow, look at these effects I'm putting together here. No, because it's a piece of paper. But I'm making the viewer think... That's what you're going to do.

I'm making the viewer think that it's like another reality where the words are just appearing. That's a special effect. It's a practical effect. I'm not saying here is a piece of paper with words on it. I'm saying these words exist in your mind. Dick's over here talking about, like he's put a Pepper's Ghost illusion together, you know, and it's like, it's a sign. It's a piece of paper.

I'm not going to say that, though. I'm going to say it's some sort of a, you know, like a liminal space. that you're entering. That's what I want to give you. I'm really old school. I really like practical effects. I'm a master. I'm a practical effect master.

What do you do? Mostly signs I'm into. That's a lot. I'm in... Practical effects wizard. I'm a practical effects wizard. I create a liminal space using a memetic device of phonography coming It's an examination of language through a post-modernist lens.

Through a media, through a lens of media, streaming. Yeah. Yeah, see? You watch Star Wars and you're like, I'm basically doing that. So would you call that just a sign when Star Wars starts and it says fucking Star Wars? Look at this sign. Yeah, look at this effect. Look at this effect.

Yeah, but that I feel like they put some work into that You drive past the church, right? You drive past the church and it says Hey, come into church Like, don't fuck up, go to heaven Come to church, sign, okay? Sign.

Right? But if you watch TV and it goes But if you're sleeping and it goes like, Oh, don't fuck up, flashes across your eyes, you go, oh, you wouldn't call that a sign, right? I mean, you know, sure. Yeah, typography almost. I'd call that a sign, but metaphorically, not literally.

I got to say, I do wish more churches would use the message, Stop fucking around. I feel like that's one thing that is missing from church. Stop fucking around, man. Stop fucking around. That's a phrase for our modern age. If I drove past a church, it said, God's commandment number 11. Just stop fucking around.

Stop fucking around. You know what? This is a church for me. What if it was like, stop, We need more messages like that. Vito. Stop jacking off all the time. That would be good, but they don't talk.

The church used to kind of talk about that. Like that was the whole, you know, they're like adultery. And yeah, yeah, yeah. They kind of were coded about it. We do need to get back to the church. The church now is like too fanciful is when it's like, oh, you know. It went woke. It kind of, it did get woke.

I don't be lectured about jacking off by some lesbian, you know? Like, what do you know? But you know about jacking off. Well, that's why I like the Jews is because they're very straightforward where it's like, just don't eat a fucking pig. Like, why not? It's like, because it's going to piss off God if you do, so just don't do it. Yeah.

White People Church is like, don't do it at all, but they mean like don't do it so much. Yeah. Like stop jacking off at all. But they don't talk about it in like a concrete way. You know, like you got to listen to us. You got to listen to a story told by a guy who's not that good at telling stories. Yeah. You know, let's be clear, he's doing his podcast, as we've discussed, telling his Bible stories.

How can they don't share? How come the priest don't, like, this is a banger? Tell this one today. Teachers don't do that either. How come you don't invite, like, a guest on to, like, do, like, some guests? No, they do. They have, priests have traveling priests. I guess that's true.

I used to go to church all the time. I'm just saying, it's like, I told you, I think I told you the study of my buddy, and he's Jewish. and he goes, I wish I, the only thing that, as a Jew, I always wished I could eat goldfish crackers. I thought you were going to say, eat gold. I wish I could eat gold. I wish I could eat all the Gentiles gold. Hordered away. I always went, I was like, well, I don't think, I think if you ate goldfish crackers,

a guy's not going to be that pissed off. And he's like, yeah, but like, wait, why goldfish crackers? I don't know. There's something in goldfish crackers that he wasn't allowed to eat because he's a Jew or maybe because they look like a fish or something. I don't fucking know. What? I didn't get the explanation.

Why, that's the best part. Getting the explanation? Well, when someone says something preposterous, yeah. I was so taken back by it that I didn't think to dig into it. I guess I just assumed. You're so offended by the. No, but I'm saying I assumed like I was ignorant. Like, oh, of course everyone knows this about the Jews.

Of course they can't eat goldfish crackers. You know? Maybe he was trying to tell a joke. I didn't want to be a rube, you know? I don't want to be an insensitive. Like, you don't know about my people. You didn't want to get suckered into some kind of Jewish trick that he was trying to do. We went through a whole Holocaust.

Of course we're not going to eat goldfish crackers. I wish I could. Oh, I wish I could eat some goldfish crackers. Not today. Not today, buddy. Not today. You take that scam. I don't know what the scam is, but take it somewhere else.

He was very serious. And I tried to convince him. I'm like, I think you should just try him. And he's like, no, no. God said no. And I'm like, and I kind of respect them out the Jews. They're very, like, straightforward with their rules. Okay.

Can we touch the light switch unless you fuck around? I, you know? You know what? I would watch the kosher light switch ad every single day. I have seen it a million times. I've thought about it all the time. It never is not funny to me. Have you ever watched the kosher light switch ad?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's brilliant. It's like, that's what I don't understand is like I see people who are mad and they're like, oh, all these guys think they can trick God. And I'm like, I think, I think it's not that they think they can. It's just what they base. their entire culture on doing. I think it's an admirable

trait to think that you can outsmart God. You made him. You made the God that you're tricking. I'm saying like, if you as a human being don't think you can outsmart God, then what sort of man are you? I think your only purpose of being on earth is to outsmart God a little bit.

That's just not true. I mean, maybe that's the Italian God is like. Actually, I bet the Italian god is like that, isn't he? the Italians god is one that they think they could trick Yeah that's your culture too Of course it's you your culture Jewish culture you created a god that you That you spend your life

That you can trick and there's little Yeah get around and there's little workarounds And if you go to hell it's like I only got to be there a little bit And then you can pull his piss down and get out of here I love in the Sopranos He's like you just got to do like a thousand years In purgatory then you can go to heaven

So they have all these justifications. Yeah, well, there you go. So you can do whatever you want. Hey, how about this? Oh, fuck. We're getting way off on a tangent. Okay, this might be, this might be really fucked up and gay. And this might be like, my, like, like, brony gay.

But I have a question for you, okay? Listen to this. Listen to this. By the way, can we do a bonus episode, biggest problem in snacks? The goldfish made me think of that. Yeah, I can do that. And food topics are always. A favorite of mine.

Okay. Have you seen this show Has been Hotel? Yes. It's the most Christian show. It's more Christian than veggie tales. Yeah, kind of.

Why is, how come, I guess, like, I'm assuming all the... Conservatives are mad about it? I'm assuming they hate it because it's like, you know, pornographic and it's in hell. They tried to, but then it was clear that none of them would actually sit through it

and they just had to get like surface level mad at it. Because I was like, nah, if you watch it, It's actually kind of good, smart, and fun. This is like the most accessible version of Christianity I've ever seen in my life, especially to like a modern audience. What the hell's going on? It's very interesting.

And no one at the Daily Wire could come even close to expressing the Christianity like what's going on this show. And I don't want to explain to me how that's wrong because I know it isn't. It's one of those things where, yeah. And I don't know how you explain it. It's made by a lady who I assume is not devoutly religious, but like all the Christian themes of like, well, you know, be a good person and do on to thy neighbor. It's like all that shit is like pretty easy to understand. And for some reason, all these guys are just always ranting about how much we have to protect Israel that they've like completely lost sight of all that shit. They're like, yeah, what about all that Christian shit you said you care about?

And they're like, ah, yeah, we like that. I just, I don't know what to say about it. It came on when I was watching something. I think I was watching Troop Beverly Hills or something. And it came on one night. And I was like, a classic movie. Wow, okay. It's got like people getting killed in it.

All right. And then I watched the whole thing. I was like, I can't fucking believe. I watched this whole fucking gay-ass show. It's all these furries and gay shit happening. And it's fucking, and I actually think it's, oh, two religious. Yeah. It is, it's really good.

It's one of those things that when I see people like hate it. It's cringe as hell. But there's almost like, I almost forgot how things could be cringe. Because it's like, wow, that's right. Things are cringe if you like, if you commit 100% to it. I forgot what things are like when you commit totally to them. If you just believe in it and you commit to it totally. Yeah.

Not sarcastic at all. Well, that's, it is honest in its cringe where it's like, yes. It doesn't second guess itself. It's just a lady going, I want little singing demons. because when I was in high school, I read too much Johnny the homicidal maniac and I watched Coltsbriot a couple hundred times. Yeah.

And that's it. Anyway, like, okay, cool. That should have been my problem, I guess. I don't know why.

I don't know why. Well, it's a good show. Yeah, and then the second season where that one guy, that one guy dies and goes to heaven and that girl's like, yeah, you just got to believe me.

I was like, holy shit, I can't believe that this exists. I can't believe someone made a good art. What the hell? And I go, I'm like, why is no one talking about this shit?

No. Why are none of you guys talking about this show? Okay, here's the problem. Okay. The problem is it's this cringe culture where everyone, it's like when you were, okay, when I was a kid and Pokemon came out, there was like a certain point. When I was in elementary school, everybody was playing Pokemon. Yeah, base. Cool.

Yeah, it was because cool. This is a fun game. There's monsters, whatever else. Then we got into middle school and everybody had to pretend they had never heard of Pokemon, and Pokemon was the gayest thing that ever existed. And anybody who likes Pokemon is like a fucking weirdo or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they would all say that.

And then you would go to the card store and you'd see them buying packs of Pokemon cards or playing Pokemon and the fucking back of the bus. Yeah. Yeah, it was basically, yeah, it's the new gay. Yeah. So right now, there's a bunch of people watching fucking Hasbin Hotel. And they're like, oh, man, I kind of like this song where all these ladies are singing the song. and, you know, it's kind of like... I don't like the ladies singing, I like when the guys are singing the songs.

I don't like the lesbians singing songs and that shit, but also I'm like... The ladies' songs are good. What are you talking about? There's a good song, ladies. Did you hear that gravity song from the angel in season two? I just fast forward that. I'm like, boop, boop, boop. Well, she's got a duet with Adam, so Adam's in that one.

So there's a guy singing with her as well. He's dead. He's dead. I don't want to, you know, I don't... Spoiler alert. Jesus Christ, man. He spoils so many TV shows on here. But yes, we live in an era where everybody asked to, okay, it's the same thing with that K-pop Demon Hunter movie.

Did you watch that? No, my nephews love it. Okay. Kids love it. And all these people on Twitter, they keep posting like screenshots of the characters making like a stupid face. Like, oh, God, it's more of that cringe comedy. Oh, my God, I can't believe they made that.

And you're like, no, it's just like actually good. Like, it's just, it's a funny movie. I don't want to watch that one with the Demon's movie. On, like, they have to go, oh, that's cringe. I would never watch that. I only watch cool stuff. It's like everyone's regressed into being a middle schooler again when it comes to dissecting media. Here's what I'm saying.

If Nick Fuentes made a cartoon where a bunch of homosexuals were burning in hell and tortured in hell. Every homosexual is in hell. They're all in hell. They sing about how they regret all of their life choices. And that the idea of redeeming their soul. is impossible. It's unfathomable. They've fucked up so much. I think people would have a problem with that.

But some queer mo or whatever she wants to be called does it, and everyone's like, this is a wonderful art. Like, how did this kid how is the daily wire making lady ballers, which makes me ashamed that I'm not actively, that I'm not currently blowing a trans guy versus

some, I assume hyper-liberal makes this gay cartoon. And I'm like, this is way, way more conservative than that one. Way more. They even got a fucking alcoholic who's like, God, booze really fucked up my life. I can't believe I'm. And he's describing addiction. I'm like, oh my

fucking God, this is exactly what it feels like. So that's the worst part of the show is when the right hates it because first they won't watch it and they're like their big thing was they're like, oh my God, he clarifies demons and it makes to think you can sympathize with demons

or whatever and I'm like, okay, well you're not watching it and shut the fuck up. Yeah. And then the left wing guys are the ones who go, it's trivializing sexual abuse and they're singing songs about abuse and whatever and I'm like, what do you mean? The rapes are pretty uncomfortable actually. The rapes are very uncomfortable.

It's very clearly. Whoa. What? Or complaining that the characters swear too much. This guy is getting raped by another guy. I don't want to see this. Get a woman in there getting raped. Jesus. It is just endless complaint.

Show me GI Jane. Please. Not this. It is one of those things where somebody complains to me about it. I go, oh, this is a person with bad opinions who just needs to hate something. Because even if it's not your cup of tea, like, it's just objectively, I hate to say objectively good, but it's an objectively good show. It's very well-made. It's extremely preachy, too. I'm like, this is the preachiest shit I have ever seen.

The writing, you know, is the girl can't do math, but, you know, what girl can? Right? Nothing can be perfect. Anyway, I'm gonna do problems from last week. Sure. I don't know who else I could tell that to because everybody else is right-wing psycho. They're not gonna watch. They're not gonna have watch this show. They're not gonna give it it. No, of course not. They'd go, oh. Flicking spaghetti sauce on your shirt, number one, pushing out. Number two. And you see that guy ended up posting that video because of the pressure that everyone's-

that why you don't think it was a stunt? No. It was the pressure. Did he put out a statement of any sort or did he just put it up? He said, I'm never mind, I'm going to do it when he put it up. How was the video? I didn't watch it. I don't want to watch it. You come in you.

I can't believe this motherfucker is putting out. Push the fucking video. I'm not watching that shit. I don't give you shit about that at all. All right. Troubleshooting a computer. Hindu temple haters. Yeah, of course.

Let's see. Cool with a statue. Mostly negative comments. Let's see. Cobbler says Vito fucking around in his computer all episode. No negative stuff. Vito can't live 10 minutes

without Googling shit. Yao versus says, Jay says, great episode. This is my favorite comedy-themed Googling show. Oh, oh, he was being sarcastic. Atomic Inc. says Caleb Hammer. Dick is drastically overestimating the intelligence of the general public.

when you realize... I don't know why you think that shit's fake. It's so weird to me. The Caleb Hammer Show? Yeah. Because it's like the same show every show. Yeah. All American...

There's a lot of really dumb Americans and they all have the exact same problems when it comes to finances. And all you have to do is go, here, hand over your financial statements. Yeah. And let me see how many times you order DoorDash. You can just do that for every show.

And that's it. Well, then it's just like... Starbucks. Starbucks! star, but you don't have to fake it. It is easier to just get people. No. People apply to be on the show. They send them a thing. Yeah. And they show up. You ever watch Kitchen Nightmares? It's the same shit. There's a million shitty restaurant owners and they all fucked up their restaurant in the same way.

Yeah. Okay. That I believe because they have to actually go film there. But the Caleb's show is just his fans coming in and like pretending to be the type of people that always come on his show. I think you are overestimating people's ability to pretend, as you put it. Like, yes, maybe they're hamming it up or something. He's hypnotizing them. He's doing like a hypnosis thing, not like a, you know, goofy, like you're brainwashed, but like just a gentle, kind of suggestible hypnosis that he's doing on them and they pump them for info. I'll agree with that, but they do the same thing on Kitchen Nightmares. You get people in these little emotional traps and then they give you the exact sound bite you

want for the fucking episode. Well, that's mostly fake, too. Kitchen Nightmares or whatever you said. Absolutely, but it's fake in the way. It's not actors is the point. It's just people taken out of context and presented in the worst possible light. Okay, that's the show.

I just don't buy it. You see the guy who went on there and Caleb's like, he's like, you know, I lost all my money in the divorce. And somehow he got him, he's like, so did you ever put your hands on her? And you know, the guy, somehow Caleb coerces. the guy and he's like well

like twice and he's like whoa whoa whoa and I'm like all right see he's co-orce no it's not fake he gets the shit out of him it's fake it's so fucking fake why would a guy admit to hitting his wife if he's not really

admitting it he's just playing a character on this stupid rage bait show um overestimating the intelligence of the general public when you realize what a high percentage of people have IQ is under 85 it puts a lot of things in perspective I don't understand how how that's me overestimating people. I'll say this about Caleb Hammer is

it's like all white people on there. Yeah. What's that about? More fakeness because white people feel bad if black people are doing rage bait. And they're like, oh. I want to, well, yeah, I would like to see like a mix. Like, I want to know our Indian guys having money troubles

or Chinese guys having money troubles. Nah, the audience doesn't want that. His audience doesn't. It's on white trash, trailer park, idiots. Week, week, week. Oh, that's negative. I didn't laugh.

Outside baseball, I wish Dick had left the stream when Vito typed stuff into Google. It would have been funnier. The Savage Gamer says Vito's audio is much better this episode. Don't fuck with the settings. Okay. Yay. Something about Super Killer.

Negative. More negative stuff. Pretty much all negative. All right. Okay. I'm glad you've made sure to get the good ones. There aren't any good ones. Oh, yeah, okay.

So Vito said he wasted a whole day fucking around with... 415 Nick with his 3D printer. When the comic isn't out makes me sick. I guess that's negative. There you go. The Downrange Gamer. Vito, how about your 3D print a new microphone? Okay.

Oh, here's, okay, special ed class. If you can't tell that Dick is the reason this show sucks, I think you have an unhealthy parisocial relationship with him. Okay. I don't think we got to read all the... That's all there was. There wasn't any really... Well, just don't read any of them then.

You got to read comments. It's not helpful. How is it not? It's feedback. Because the feedback is just... That's the part where we read. comments. This show has- I'm not Caleb Hammer, I can't just fake it.

This show has a bad habit of terminally rewarding pointless negativity, okay, by spotlighting and elevating it. Anytime somebody goes, because at a certain point, that's the only thing that's left is everybody goes, you get into a thing where you go, well, I can't say anything positive about the show because then it won't get red on air, you know? So what? Well, because then people don't. only want to leave like the shittiest

I mean I guess it doesn't really matter I think I think it does influence people's perceptions but what where they go oh my god this is the worst show everything do you go to wait a minute let me see let me see these comments let's see here oh they say this video no you don't have to because you just read them at the top

of the fucking show you read everyone telling you how much the show sucks and you go I don't know why everybody saying the show sucks you're telling them it sucks These guys, you're leaving these comments. I wouldn't have to read them. There aren't going to be any because they don't get, when there are positive comments, you go, ah, there's a positive one, but that's not as funny, so I'll just read it really quickly. Okay, so you do admit that it's funny.

Yeah, it's funny when you do a couple of them, but when the whole segment is just everybody is shitting on the show. There was no positive ones. I looked. Then don't, okay. I'm not going to say I'm not reading any comments, because, because they're all negative. You don't have to say that. But first of all,

they're not all negative. I'm sure there were some other comments. I said, uh, no, I read them, I read all the top ones. You read all the,

well, no, not the real negative ones. Don't read the top. The top ones are the ones that people vote up because it's funny to be pointlessly negative. Well, then why would I not say something funny?

If they already did the work. Shut up. Publius for four days ago. I really enjoyed. consuming the content that was produced this episode. There you go. That's, you want to read that? That comment sucks. Don't you dare start reading fucking comments live. Remind me to never go to India. I would rather vacation in Detroit than have a layover in Mumbai. Thank you chair athlete for that very

insightful. It's racist. I don't want to read racist comments. George Patelme says, hey, boys, I got a crazy plan that might save the podcast. Reach out if you're serious, you know? See, that's negative. No. You're reading a save the podcast? Uh, what? That's a negative comment. Well, it's, regardless. Here we go. I'm excited for Ben and Jerry's new ice cream flavor,

Osh-twicks. It's not bad. No, that's not funny. All those, nobody could come up with a funny, um, Holocaust-themed ice cream. How about Richard is a cry baby? Well, that's not a good one. Hold on. See, it's negative.

We're all negative. You can only find the negative ones about me. The ice cream segment was a highlight. No, I read the one about me. Chaco, host, and creamer. No, no, come on. Don't read a bunch of puns. That's terrible.

All right. It's better than what, it's better than your fucking comments. Do you have any, do you have a, anything or? Yeah, play a, play a, play a, play a stinger. Do do do do do do do do. Do do do do do do do do do. Please vote it out at biggest problem dot show or kill your fucking family. I'll sneak it through the window and slip your wife's throat.

Damn, nice. So vote. Good one. Everyone leave a positive comment on this episode. Just do it. Challenge yourself to leave a positive comment. positive comment. It can even be sarcastic and snarky and stupid. Let's just see if you can make it happen. Dick, from episode, bonus episode 10, which is the biggest episode in fast food,

the problem of burger tribalism. This is people arguing over which burger is best. But soon, Dick, you may not have one burger to argue about. As fast food, Giant Wendy's is planning to close hundreds of U.S. stores next year. as part of a broader effort to revive its domestic business, which is under pressure from slowing sales. Hundreds of Wendy's on the way out, Dick. Can you imagine it? It's too expensive now.

It really is crazy. It feels like I'm getting a rape, like a rape menu. I'd like to order a number two off the rape menu, please. It's way too expensive. It's like they really snuck it up on. Like, I look back, I remember when, during, you know, when I was working at the mall, back when I was a young buck, I would have my, you know, my lunch break.

Would you work? I worked at a couple different places. I worked at GameStop. So let's say game stop. Did you steal stuff? Of course. Nice. All the time.

I worked at KB Toys. I told you I waited for my shitty friend with the, with the nose ring to get hired. And the second he got hired, and I started stealing like crazy. He was like a seasonal hire and I knew they would blame it on him. Nice. The problem was. was, he was also stealing like crazy. So we double dipped. Double dipped. Yeah. I think I've told the story about that guy. He was my elf when I was Santa Claus and he was the shittiest elf ever.

And then one day, he just stole. No, but he stole all the deposit. Probably a worse self then. All right. He's not the worst. It wasn't that good. Okay. And then one night, at the end of the night, you had to take all the money and put in a bag and take it to the bank and put in the deposit box. Yeah. And he just took the money. and the people who ran the Santa thing they were like really pissed they're like hey what happened to that deposit and he was on the phone with them

the weirdest thing was that it was like a turnkey thing where like you were supposed to run it all yourself and then just like put the money and you're like wait we're doing all the work and there's no one here to supervise any of this so he just took the cash and he's just on the phone with them and he's going I put the fucking money in the deposit box I don't know what you want me to do

I can't put it back in there if the bank lost the money It's their fucking problem. And he really sold it. And he somehow didn't get fired. He was like in his 20s or something. Wow. I was like really shocked that he didn't get fired from being an elf.

After just stealing like a couple hundred dollars or whatever, I don't know. Well, he's probably not going to do it again. If they hire a new elf, he's going to steal. Well, that's the thing. It's like a seasonal job with no oversight. I guess that was when I learned. I'm like, oh, you can just do stuff. And it's like, what are they going to do?

They can't get another elf. It's too late. It's the middle of the fucking holiday season. Yeah, you just got to deal with this shitty elf who steals the deposits sometimes. Yeah. Anyway, interim CEO Ken Cook says that a mid-sank, whatever, about 240 stores will be closed. Global sales at Wendy's are down 2.6%. Largely based on fewer customer visits, though partially offset by higher spending per orders.

So less people are going to Wendy's and the ones who do are getting gouged out the asshole. It's too expensive, man. Dude, it's, I mean, today I went to, but just like all restaurants, it really is hard for me to fathom. I guess the point I was trying to make when I was talking about working at GameStop was I'm like, I used to be like, I have $5 for lunch and that's it. I can't spend more than five bucks. And you could get lunch for $5. I could go to Subway. Yeah.

I could go to Taco Bell and get like 10 tacos. was whatever. Today I went to fucking, like a diner. Yeah. I just got eggs and a coffee. After Tippin, it ended up being $28. And I'm like, dude. Yeah. And I'm like, there was like a period of time

where if somebody asked me to pay $28 for eggs, I would like throw a fit and leave. I would have diarrhea. Yeah. And now I just accepted. I'm like, well, I don't know. I guess it's just what shit costs now? What the, how has this happened? It's so fucking weird. Fucking liberals, man.

Fuck us over. But how is anyone paying? Shut up, it's not fucking liberals. It's a minimum wage, you dickhead? What do you think happens when minimum wage? You know what, $5 foot long? How much was minimum wage? How much was minimum wage with $5 foot long?

I really don't think inflation is based on minimum wage increases. Minimum wage increases exist to offset the effects of fucking inflation. Okay? How much was minimum wage when it was $5 foot long? Oh my God. Five bucks. How much is it? I'm not getting into the minimum wage thing with you.

How much is fast food now? How much is a foot long now? Whatever minimum wage is, $16, something like that. Sure. I look. Why would it not go up with minimum wage? Of all the things that are affecting the economy. Why would the sandwich price?

Why would fast food not go up if everybody working at the fast food place now, salary went up? What is the minimum wage for tipped employees in California? Like 14, 15 bucks? Is it 18? For tipped wage? It's not, no, it's not tipped, it's McDonald's. How much is your-

I'm talking about, I went to a place, I went to a waitress probably my fucking eggs. Her minimum wage didn't go up to $15 an hour. Okay, so what do you think is based on it? Non-tipped minimum wage or some shit? I don't know. I don't know what's going on, but let's just assume the liberals are to play him because that's what the show is. You don't think the Wendy's has to raise their prices? Biden made my gas cost more.

Do you not? If Biden wasn't there? my gas would be so cheap right now. And then I go to the pump today. Gas is like $6, $7. And you'll, you know what you're going to say? You go, yeah, because the lives shut down the government. Because Newson's tax is. California gas is because of Newsom. Because the California taxes. It's always the libs. It's California taxes. What do you think gas is like different here than it is in Arizona? You don't, you don't understand that when the libs come in and they and the taxes and the, all right, I got it. What gas are we selling here that they're not selling in Nebraska where it's like two bucks?

Is it two bucks in Nebraska? Is that the current gas price in Nebraska? Maybe a dollar. It might be a little less. No, I heard they just give it away. It's just free. You're going to Nebraska and they give you a MAGA hat and a fucking Dixie cup of gasoline. Okay.

This one's on the house, partner. So if you own a Wendy's and then tomorrow you have to pay everyone twice as much money for working, How much are you going to make the hamburgers? Oh, a little bit of boomer math for you. How much are you going to charge for hamburgers? Listen here, Comey and it's Charlie. If everybody's getting paid $5 to make the hamburger, what do you think happens to the price of the hamburger?

Why can't you guys just be honest about where the prices come from? Yeah, prices went up because of minimum wage. Yep, it's minimum wage for $900. But we want to charge, but we want poor people to make more money. It's the only thing that has. has caused the rate, even in parts of the country where minimum wage didn't increase. It's so weird how California's minimum wage increases caused the price of burgers to go up across the entire country. Isn't that crazy? No. It's obvious. Okay. Somehow, somehow, every part of the country. What do you think? Okay, what do you think it is? Tariffs? They're not saying we're just closing Wendy's in California. If it said we're closing Wendy's in California because of the minimal. wage, you might have a point. All the wendys, hundreds of wendies are getting closed. Cross the board. Yeah, because they don't got no money over there because they're minimum wage

sucks. Because the minimum wage, I got it. It's the minimum wage. Yeah, they can't afford it. What do you think it is? Yes, tariffs. Do you think it's tariffs? What do you think it is? I think that the price increases are largely due in part to corporations, which are focused to, uh, corporations. which are focused on constantly increasing salaries and pay packages for their own executives.

Exactly. Okay. Yes, and less money. They want more profits to give to shareholders. And that has resulted in them trying to gouge the shit out of customers. Wait, what do you mean profits for sharehold?

You think they're selling Wendy's burgers and then turning around going like, here you go, here's a couple bucks. Thanks for being a shareholder. No, but the shareholder want the want to see profits on the balance sheet and

so it's got nothing to do with the minimum wage I don't think minimum wage is a driving factor in the increase in fast food prices now I'm sure it has resulted all these damn greedy shareholders

these fucking shareholders and they're fucking greed I think that's part of it All right. What's the next one? All right. Let's see here. Dick from episode 111 was the problem of nostalgia 64. This is people who think the Nintendo 64 was a good game console and one worth playing, even though it was dog shit and all the games were ugly. Stupid.

Well, Dick, after several delays, retro console manufacturer analog is finally ready to send out its 4K remake of the Nintendo 64 on November 18th. The, uh, the, what is the name of the fucking thing? I don't even know what it's called. What is this like an ad? No, this is good. This is going to finally make, uh, the N64 playable for the first time. The analog 3D.

It's just someone making it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So there's a company making a console. Okay. Uh, it's analog. Analog makes all the high premium, uh, retro consoles. Okay, cool. So you can put your Nintendo 64 games in it and play them on your HD TV in 4K without needing any converters or any HDMI mod chips or anything like that.

Yeah, but what does it look like? Like you get 4K Mario, but it's a bunch of blocks? No, it's just, it'll look like an N64 game. But if you try to plug an N64 into an HTML TV right now, it has all this artifacting and bullshit because your HDMI. TV is not really meant to interpret that fucking can you just play the Nintendo 64 app on the switch? Yes,

you could just play the Nintendo 64 app on the switch. But this will hold on, not every game is on the Nintendo 64 app. Okay, you're not going to be able to play UFO bowling on the fucking Switch app or whatever it is. Wow, okay.

And this will let you use your official game. You can use all your foreign games, Japanese, whatever else. The analog 3D is 100% compatible with every N64 game ever made. And what I'm excited about is that it will, I believe, I'm sure, if it's not included natively, it'll be added in the ability to disable the Nintendo 64's awful anti-aliasing, which is why all the video games looked like a blurry, disgusting mess, as we all remember, and hated. This is like, everyone at that company should be a,

arrested. Everyone who works there should be arrested and thrown in prison. What are you talking about? Now, maybe now I'll actually play NC4 games because they won't look like complete dog shit. Now, don't, don't buy one of these things. It's like dog shit. Don't buy one of these things. You're going to burn a hell. Well, that's the funny thing is I pre-ordered it, I think, like five years ago. Oh, you don't, you didn't, and then. Can you believe it? And then you didn't get it? Wow. You must be pissed off. Yeah. I'm so mad. When people, have you ever asked them when it's coming? Sometimes, yeah, you know, I keep asking them where it is.

what did they say? They blocked me. I can't believe it. They told me to go eat shit. So finally it's coming out. These scammers are finally delivering on their promises. Why to take them five years to make some crappy Nintendo 64? I don't know.

Somebody should really take them to task for this debacle. Vita, this just sounds like some crap to spend money on. Well, I would like to play. I have N64 games to play. But again, you can't really. I mean, I know you. You've plugged your N64 into an HTML TV, but doesn't it look like shit? It would know.

It's all like, there's no problem. I did it. And isn't there lag and whatever else? Lag? No. Yeah. What do you mean lag? You got input lag.

Fucking locked in on pilot wings. Oh, yeah, here we go. I can't have any lag. You're going to miss the turn in Wave Race. You're going to be completely fucked. Who gives a shit? What are you playing these things professionally? It's nice when the game looks nice.

This is going to make it look nice. I'm going to turn off the antialia. you're saying so everything's on a blurry mess and I'll finally play my and just dump it in the garbage man this is not no I got a Japanese copy of sin and punishment I've been waiting to finally plug in and play what's that? Pornow game

it's a yeah it's a porno game you're a naked late no it's like a shooter sin and punishment it sounds like a 3D sin well I guess it does sound like a BDSM game now that you mention it but no you're a kid with like a laser gun fighting aliens There's a kid in the porno game? There's a little kid.

You're a little baby. Completely naked. Doing cartwheels and shooting lasers. Like the dancing baby? Dancing baby. Anyway, I'll probably play with it for a week and then it'll end up on a shelf like the fucking analog pocket, which I also bought and never used. What are you doing?

Stop buying this crap. Get rid of it. Yeah, that's a good point. I probably should. But I don't know. I'll give it a try. Or I'll just flip it. I think I originally bought it to flip it, but now it's been so long, then I'm going, I kind of do want to play N64.

You like N64. You play N64. No, I do not play N64. Are you fucking kidding me? Fucking Randy made me bring my N64 over your house. You guys could play GoldenEye at one time. That was like a year ago. That was like two years ago. We played one, we played one afternoon of Golden Eye. That's it. I remember Randy being like, listen, Dick is fiend in for some golden eye. If you bring golden eye over right now, he's going to fucking die. And then I brought it over.

And you guys, uh, you guys kind of looked at me and you're like, why did you bring a fucking N64? And I went, you told me to bring a fucking N64. Yeah, we haven't forgotten about that, though. We don't want to play this gay shit at all. Like, well, why did the fact that I spend time putting it? Why do you even have one? Why do you even have one? I got a whole bunch of them.

Still trying to sell them. All right. Anyway, that's my problem. That's, you better sell them fast. Well, it's Christmas. I'm making listings, but I'm getting, I'm getting every Chinese guy sending me a message about, you do me good price? I go, it's a good price.

He goes, you do me good price. No, this is already a good price. You do me good price? You do me good price? You do me good price? This play the Mario? Yeah, I played the Mario, man. 4K Mario, man.

4K Mario. Every fucking Chinese guy Here's the worst thing about the Chinese guys They don't even say Hey, can you cut me a deal? I have it listed for like 100 And they just type 80 What do you want?

I'm like, what do you? I'm like no 100 Like 80 80 I pick up now 80 I pick up now Every fucking message from a Chinese guy is 80 I pick up now

Like they think Pickup now is like Oh my god He's gonna pick up now Incredible. I don't need you to pick it up now. Pick it up fucking whatever. No, you need him to pick up yesterday, man. Pick up now. Pick up now. I come by now. 80. 80. I pick up now. I go 100. Come by two weeks from now. What the fuck. I don't care. It's not, it's not. It's Christmas time. All these guys are trying to wheel and deal. I go, you don't understand. It's Christmas.

All every fucking Hispanic. Then I start getting messages from the Hispanics where they go, oh, please. can you hold for my brother my brother when we grew up he loved Mario and please my brother need the Mario the Chinese guys will just go 80 I get now 80 I get now the Hispanics will send you a message about how important

fucking Mario was Miho no as Cholo yeah meho and how their dad died and it's the only thing that ever brought them together yeah why does every Hispanic got a dead fucking dad that they used to play Mario with I've heard this story like 80 times I don't know

man, it's tough working fast food. And it's like I guess they were all poor, so the only thing they had to bond over was like they never went on any vacations or anything. So it's just like Mario. Just the Mario. We just had the Mario. Yeah. I dated a Hispanic girl and she was like extremely

we were going through her shit or whatever to throw it out and I was like do you want me to toss this? You're going to do her shit to throw it out. That's ironic. Yeah. I throw out shit all the time. Whatever. We're going through a shit She's got a DVD copy of Men and Black 2 And I go, oh, you probably don't need this

DVD copy of Men and Black 2 And she starts crying And she goes, my brother give me this Well, she didn't have that heavy an accent But for the sake of the story My brother, we not have many things growing up And one day on my birthday He gave me a present

And it is Men in Black 2 on DVD She's just weeping And I'm like, all right, well then don't fucking throw out Men and Black 2 on DVD These are, yeah, these stories are fucking... The Hispanics have a lot of generational trauma in a weird

way. Like whites have generational trauma but the generational trauma of the Hispanics is bizarre to me. Nah, it's just a bunch of women carrying on like crying about it. Yeah. That might be it. That's what it is. No trauma at all. They're doing the trauma. No trauma at all. Okay, my problem is

H-1B visas. I was surprised that we hadn't done this one yet. Wait, we haven't done this one? No. We've just complained about it every episode for the past year? Well, yeah, so I just said, well, why not put it on the board? H1B. Sure. Here's what I'm interested in. Obviously everyone hates them.

Are you guys going to jump on this or are we going to do it? That's what I want to know. Getting rid of them? Are liberals going to jump on this one and fuck over corporations and saying we're getting rid of the slave labor? Or are Republicans going to get on it and say, hey, we're going

to help Americans. No, the liberals love slave labor. It's their favorite thing. They're not going to do anything about it. They love slavery. Really? But what if they did? That's what I'm saying. What if they did? You'd have to convince them that...

But they don't want to help corporate... You think Bernie Sanders likes H-1Bs? I don't think so. I don't think Bernie Sanders. No, Bernie hates H-1Bs, I think. You think Zohan Mahendami likes H-1Bs? I don't think so. Yes, because all his buddies come over.

That's how they come over on... How else do you get all this friends over here? They don't do any work at all. They don't even pretend to work. He doesn't like Indians, does he? He's a different kind of Muslim. Middle Eastern. What kind of Muslim is he?

Middle Eastern Muslim is he? Uganda. Isn't he from like Uganda or something? Or you are gay? It all blends together for me. It doesn't. It doesn't for them. They all hate tall buildings.

That's all I know. Too tall. Knock them down a couple pegs. Started in 1990 to hire foreign workers and specialty occupations. They've got 3 million of them. Over the lifetime, it's issued 3 million H1B visas. Isn't that crazy? Okay, when it says we've hired 3 million of them.

They've been issued H1B visas. So that means them, their family, their wife, whatever's come over with them. So they come over, they come to America. Start stinking at the place up. Yeah, yes. I know what you're going to say. Okay, you don't have to... I'm sure they smell lovely.

They're lovely smelling people. They smell of sweet. A ferry and rice. A boat ride. It's because it's a long plane. It's a good boat. It's a good boat. It's covered in perfumes and potions.

Yeah. Okay. So when you lose your job as an H-1B guy, what happens? You got to go home. You got to get the hell out. You've got a limited amount of time where a giant corporation that all they do is they flash like three-card money. They show you a brown guy that's like an amalgamation of all their H-1B guys. And they say, here we send you this guy.

Whoop. And then a guy shows up. You're like, you were the guy they sent? And he's like, whatever. It doesn't matter. I've heard they are doing that where, like, different guys will take the programming test and they send a completely different guy. I have interviewed them.

I will schedule an interview and then a totally different guy shows them. Like, you're not fucking... You're not Hamesh? You're not Hamesh? Who the fuck are you? Ah, yes. And they can't even speak. There's, like, probably 80% of engineers at every company on the S&P 5.

is an Indian who cannot speak. Conservantly. I'm going to propose to you that if you set up fake job interviews and recorded them and caught these guys lying about that shit, it would be both hilarious and informative. Can't you do the ID check of like the bouncer at the bar where you go, okay, Hamesh and your birth date is? What would that do? And you were born where? Well, because I want to know if it's like the actual guy or if it's just a different guy. like checking if he knows his own details.

No, they don't even know, they don't even know what they're there for. If they have like an AI prompting them, they probably don't even know how to read it. Bro, record this. This is fucking hilarious. Really? If you want to destroy the H-1B program

and you can get video of Indian guys showing that they are completely incompetent and lying just to get the job, and I don't think they're, in India. They can't even speak, dude. They can't even lie to get the... They can't even speak in complete sentences.

Yeah, this is fascinating. This would be like usually viral content. If you go on Upwork right now and you post any job, you will get either... You will get North Koreans posing as Ukrainians. Or you will get Indians posing as, like, the Aryan race. Like, they pick random... They pick random towns in the U.S. that, like, you'd never... you've never heard of or that no one would ever be from.

Yeah. And it has nothing to do. An agency uses like that picture, you know. I forget what it was in The Simpsons, what Bart did the personal ad for Ms. Carbopo, but that. And then a guy will show, they all use AI to write everything. But this isn't even H-1Bs. This is just Indian scammers.

The H-1Bs is the same thing, though. It's these giant corporations. Bro, you need to set up a fake company, advertise a bunch of engineering or programming jobs and go, but you have to do a Zoom call interview. I've done this more times than I can count exactly what you're describing. But like, dude, set up a fucking trap.

Like set up like a thing where they either A are a good programmer or B, they're going to completely expose themselves. I feel like you're missing something here. Okay, they can't even talk. What do you think would be funny about it? I know. That's great. What do you think would be funny about it? What do you think would be funny about it?

It's funny that this is the H-1B problem. This isn't even the H-1-1Bs. But I'm saying it's funny. Okay, here's why it's funny. Who's that guy who was complaining about Boy Meets World or wherever the fuck it was? Who? Mr. Feeney? No, sorry.

Saved by the Bell. He said, Save by the Bell ruined America. Vivick. Because it made people. Yeah, Vivick. Vivick. So Vivek's telling us, you know, we got all these great Indians. they're so great.

They're so smart and clever and cunning. Yeah. Can we set up a sake? Can you be Mr. Belding? And you go, hi, I'm Mr. Belding. I'll be interviewing you today. Okay, I guess that. Now I get it.

Dress up like Mr. Monopoly Man and just say, I'm trying to, I'm just trying to, they know nothing. They can't even fucking talk. And you go, yeah, this will pay, This job pays about $200,000 a year. A day. $200,000 a day.

Right. So I just have a couple of basic questions before we get started. What shampoo do you use? Okay. You just interject like little things in there. I think there's something there. I think there's something. I think you're onto something.

Look, if you're trying to expose the idea, Vivek's telling us Indians are the smartest guys in the world. Who, what company would not want these guys? Yeah. And you can get them on a Zoom call going, uh, duh, uh, uh, uh, uh, like, uh, something there. There's something there. There's something there. Mr. Belding is funny.

I have not workshopped the whole fucking thing in the past 20 seconds, but I'm saying, you know. I get it. Yeah. Yeah. And you go, now if you get this one right, you'll, we'll win a. $50 iTunes gift card. Yeah, this actually isn't a programming job. It's for dog cuddling.

Don't they have, aren't it? Don't you have to do like live, don't they have, when you interview programmers, don't you give them like little like programming like tests or whatever? And like watch them over the shoulder? Yeah, yeah. No, not really. And they have AI doing that now anyway. Like everybody.

Well, that's what's fascinating is I want to see, because that's what I'm hearing is that, yes, they'll just take it and they have a different. guy next to him who like codes it out for him or some shit. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, I want to see. If you got that shit on video, man,

every conservative website would be playing it, talking about it. Maybe. You should do it. Maybe I will at this point. You got the instincts of shampoo and stuff. But I wouldn't know what to say. I wouldn't know what to ask them about programming.

You could ask anything. They don't fucking know. They got no every single, every single company. I mean, they're showing up with, like, they're showing up as a totally different guy than who did the interview

and submitted all the code and everything like that. And then there's like five or six of them, you know, just growing and growing and growing. I'm saying you would need like some normal questions to like, some normal engineering questions to like throw them off a little bit. And then you hit them with the, you know. You could do try GPDs questions.

How many, if I, if you had to kill a cow for this job, would you do it? Yeah. If I, if you had to eat a hamburger to get this job. Now, a part of this job is you got to eat a hamburger. You know, I don't know, whatever. There's something.

Well, I got to workshop it a little bit. You should do it because you would know what to ask them. Yeah, but that's not funny. The funny thing is the shampoo. The funny thing is just fucking with them. Well, yeah, I've been fucking, I told you. Somebody got mad. I told the story again.

Every time I get these Indian scam calls, you can just fuck with these guys and they get furious. I heard you were in a car accident recently. Yeah, your mother threw through the windshield because I was fucking her in the ass. You know, fuck my mother. No, and fuck my mother. Like, you can always get these guys.

Yeah, you can't. They're very angry. That's the funniest thing about Indians. They are furious. They've tried to practice talking to white people. I don't know if there's a guy who, like, coaches them, where he goes, listen, white people really like when you're like, like, hello, sir, yes, hello, a very good, sir, yes.

The British. That's who did that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But they're behind the fucking the fake pleasantry of the Indian guy is a guy who goes, fucking white people are fucking, I take your money, I take their fucking, like they're really pissed. It's that guy who gets the scammers.

And when you hear just how pissed the scammers are that they're not able to rip a guy off for a couple hundred dollars worth of Bitcoin or whatever, they lose their fucking minds. They don't have like a, hey, don't lose your, like, don't lose your cool like that, like you're doing. Yeah. Well, I know that Indians are jealous of Americans. It's like a jealous.

thing. Right. They see that we have money because, like, you know, we do something important to the world instead of just calling people up and trying to scam them out of iTunes gift cards. And they're like, I want that. How do I get that? And like, well, you know, you can like try and build some skills and be actually useful. And they're like, ah, I could lie about having skills. It's like, well, no, don't lie about having skills. Why don't you develop the skills?

And then maybe if you're actually really good, like, maybe we would want to bring you over. And they're like, got it. I'll lie about having skills. Yeah. Actually, I'm going to lie about a bunch of people having the skills. That would be better. Well, that's the problem with the H1B is that it operates with the assumption that India is a high trust culture where they're not just constantly lying because they want the white man's money. Yeah, that's our culture too. That's the boomer response of, whoa, we got to bring in all these special guys.

Like Amazon says they're all special. They're all special. They're lying too. They started lying and they've been lying about 30 years. To a bunch of fucking Indians, man. It's happening everybody. It's crazy. It's crazy.

I thought maybe you guys were going to take it up, H-1B. No, because we like slaves. Yeah, but they're not your slaves. You like slaves when you own them. You don't own these motherfuckers. Yeah, yeah. We all, dude, that's why we made that movie The Blindside. It's because every liberal fantasizes about owning a black teenager who makes money for us.

These aren't black slaves, though. No, but like, don't. in sports and hip-hop. I'm saying when it comes to slaves, blacks are the gold standard. If you were going to get a slave, you want a black guy. I think that as a liberal. This isn't your kind of slave. This is like a computer slave.

Okay, well, sure, the gold gold standard would be a white slave, but you're not going to get a white slave. Okay. So, but a black slave, like in the blind side, you know, listen, we got this big, dumb black kid. He's going to play football and make us a million dollars. Right. Yeah. And that's the liberal dream is the blind side, is to enslave a black guy. kids say, oh, you're a, you're part of the family now. You're in the family. And then just take

all these fucking football money forever. Yeah. Every liberal wants that. We made a movie out of it and we celebrated it saying like, look, they look at how they stopped racism or whatever. And you're like, all they do was enslave a black teenager to play football. That's not a good story. That's why I don't think that you guys will like the H-1Bs because they're not your kind of slaves. You guys, you love, you love black slaves. We love blacks. We love, uh, Mexican housekeepers. We love all kinds of slaves. We love Mexican great pickers and shit.

Yeah, maybe. I don't know about that one either. You love black people. We gave that guy a whole fucking holiday. What's his name? Caesar Chavez. That was not you that did that. We did not give.

The whites approved it. The whites, any, oh, come on. You think any fucking holiday is not white approved, white stamped? George Boyd Day, June 10th. June 10th, you guys did that. June 10th, we did. Caesar Chavez Day? There's no fucking Caesar Chavez Day.

That's not a day. Yeah, there is. No, it's Cinco de Mayo is the only Mexican holiday. Not's Caesar Chavez Day. I'm pretty sure that's Caesar. What day is Caesar Chavez Day? It's like June 8th. Is it really?

Yeah. No, you're using one of those cheating. It's a week before. No, it's a week before Juneteenth. All right. Pick the grapes so they can make the grape soda for the Juneteenth celebration. That's how it goes The week before

You guys should get on it I wish I had a little football playing Black Slave man It is a good Situation those guys got into Until the kid figured it out And he sued to get all his money back Yeah

Who's idea was that But they made out pretty well What's that? Whose idea was that To bring a Black football To enslave a black child Enforcement to play football?

Yeah, was it really sick? Was it Sandra Bullock's idea or was it the husband? Yeah, well, I think that kid, what, like he lost his family? I think they were like, like, his dad ran out. I don't know. The kid's family, like, left as can happen. And Sandra Bullock said, holy shit, there's a perfectly good black slave right here that nobody's forcing to play football.

I've got to get in here. I don't think I've ever heard you more excited than when you're talking raciously about black people. It's not right. They're the racist. I'm saying, like, I get it. Like, every, you love it. Every day all did. Look at all the fucking Jewish record executives were like, I can just force this black kid to sing songs. And then I get all the money. And I hold and I keep all the rights to the music. It's like, we've had slavery. And all, and then those same guys go, oh, I'm a, I'm a deep liberal. I'm a liberal guy. You know, I support whatever. Well, why'd you enslave all those black kids and make them sing fucking songs and dance on the Ed Sullivan show? You know, you're a fucking liberal. You're a slave owner.

It's a stretch. I get it. I mean, it's a stretch. Sitting there letting black guys make money for you is a pretty good place to be. I get it. When you see the old slave owner sitting in the chair sipping lemonade as they force that lady in the box or whatever the fuck that thing was in Django. You know, well, you know, it's a pretty cushy lifestyle. It's not exactly moral. I just don't think, wait, it's not moral to have singers?

It's not moral to force them in the hot box because they ain't singing good enough. That was like a fantasy movie for weirdos. That's not a, that has nothing to do with reality. That's why the Jackson family is like the great American success story. Because that was a black dad realizing he could enslave his own black children. And he said, well, why don't I just be the fucking slave owner? I'll make a million kids, force them to dance and sing. One of them's probably going to be really good at it.

That one's going to make me a shit ton of money. Right, right, right. Yeah. That was the greatest American success story ever. As a black guy going, I could just enslave my own black family. Something about talking about black people and slavery for you is like the most, if you could make videos just on that, I think you would do it. Because everybody, okay, everybody pretends as like, enthralled by it as you are.

Here's where I get bothered is everybody goes, it's like this thing when you're in school and you're learning about slavery, you know, and then like some fucking white bitch next to you goes, oh my God, I can't believe they would have slaves. Like what, who would want a slave?

Like, what are you retarded? Everyone. Every person on earth. No. If you have, okay. I'm saying if you can divorce. Yeah, okay, eventually the morality of it overwhelms you and you go, well, owning it. No, I don't want this guy in my house for any reason.

Definitely not for free. Why do you think they built barracks for him where they can sing their fucking songs? I don't want to. I definitely don't want a fucking battalion of them outside. No, thank you. I'll just go do my own cotton picking. The battalions were a problem. Matt Turner and his rebellion, you know, you got to keep an eye on these guys.

Yeah. Okay, but whatever. I'm saying, why do you like talking about slavery so much? I don't like talking about slavery. I'm just saying, you come alive whenever you talk about slavery. That and like Nintendo. It's fascinating to me that anyone would go, I want a guy, like, why would I want a guy who has to do all my work for me? Like, what do you? That's, that's, all of life is that, is finding a situation in which other people are doing your work for you. That's like the goal. Okay. And on a very basic level, hitting a guy with a stick until he does your work for you is one way to accomplish that.

Now we have more, you know, elaborate ways of getting that. Right. But on its very basic level, hitting a guy until he does your work. Okay. Eventually, you know, you figured out with the blind side, emotionally manipulate a black teenager into playing football for you. Okay. Like, there's other ways to enslave people. It's fascinating.

I think senility Everybody's trying to enslave. Society is slave owners and slaves all the way down. And you got to figure out who you can enslave and who's going to enslave you. And eventually maybe you'll go up the ladder

and you can have way more slaves. You're just like buying Nintendo's. I got a couple slaves. I don't know, got a lot of slaves. Not doing much work. I agree. Yeah. I you know, but at different points of my life, I've had more slaves than other times. Right now, I'm low on slaves.

Okay. Right now I'm getting enslaved. More than I'm doing the enslaving. Okay. Okay. But I'm trying to turn that around in that society. Okay. Well, that's my problem. You got a slave living with you. Oh, yeah. Although, depending on the situation, maybe you're the slave. I don't know.

Who's putting it more work? No, I got it. The whole slave thing. I get it. I get it. Okay. It's very provocative. Have you thought about making the kid a slave? Yeah.

Yeah, that's nice. Teach him all the ratchet straps. Yeah, no, I got it. What's your problem? I don't know why you're moving on from this so quickly. All right, here's my problem. So quickly, anytime you get a hint of black people and slavery, you will talk about it for like three hours. It's like a drunk at a bar that's just like over and over.

Any color. Right, right, right. It's just harder to enslave white people and it's nearly impossible to enslave the Jews. I knew. I would have bet a $10 billion that you were going to say the word Jews within like 10 words. How can I talk about slaves and not talk about Jews? What do you mean? It's the only thing you can talk about.

But any time you try to enslave the Jews, what happens? They become the slave master eventually. You can't keep these guys down. They're natural slave owners. It's in their fucking blood. you can try to make them build pyramids at the end of the day they're going to own the fucking pyramids I think this is what you think about all day

this retarded like slavery shit they'll build the pyramids you know why they were so happy building the pyramids because they knew at the end of the day they were going to own those fucking pyramids so they didn't give a shit that'll be alright today that has to be some shitty comedians joke

that has to be like it's not a joke that has to be like Jeff Dunham's show it's the way of the fucking world even the thrott the whole fucking Holocaust. They're going, you guys got us now. But at the end of the day, we're getting all this shit back.

That's not even a joke. That was just an offensive comment. They knew they were coming back. They're coming back in a big way. They're like, oh, man, we come back. We're coming back in a big way. All those shoes you guys took from us, we're going to put that in a museum and charge money to see it. That's how fucking good we are at this game. It's not even funny. It's not funny at all.

just racist. What was that fucking Holocaust Museum we saw that we were looking at pictures of that looked like a fucking bunker for a fucking bond? Yeah, well, that was funny. Yeah, but... Take our shoes. Take our shoes. Kill a couple of us. Doesn't even matter. We're going to monetize this shit out of this

fucking thing. We're going to make movies out of this. We're going to make so many fucking movies out of this. Yeah, no, I got it. They're the greatest people. They're brilliant. They always come out on top. You just said, you've gone straight to racist grandpa.

Here's my problem is boneless wings, Dick. Okay. Expecting chicken wings. Everyone's favorite food. And what is a chicken wing? It's the wing of a chicken. Chicken is an animal with two wings

because it flaps, flaps its little wings. And you rip those off and you make them into a delicious fucking treat. So how can you have a boneless wing? What does that mean? Look at a chicken.

Have you ever seen a chicken with a boneless wing? No. No, because that would be horrifying. It would have little fucking shriveled up bullshit. It's not a wing. Right. Yeah. It would be like wormy, floppy bullshit.

No. The boneless wing is just a chicken nugget. And it's not even a good chicken nugget because a regular chicken nugget is like kind of fucking processed. Right. into a terrible fucking McDonald's salt and preservative filled treat. Yeah. The fucking boneless wing is just... Sorry, what you're saying?

You're saying McNuggets are good or not good? McNuggets are better than the boneless wing because the McNugget is honest. Okay? The McNugget does not say... It's not called the Mick Wing. Because it's not a fucking wing. It's the Mick McNugget. It is a piece of what was once possibly part of it.

chicken mixed with a bunch of bullshit spices in a fucking basically like a paste or whatever probably putting a mold. Where do you find boneless wings like Domino's pizza? I'm glad you asked. I'm glad you ask. So I'm on DoorDash as I rarely am as I rarely am

and I go on DoorDash and I'm looking at the wing stop and I go well look at this deal right here this is phenomenal. We were just talking about fast food prices. I go, look at this. Ten wings for $10. Now that's an American price. Fantastic.

Store dash, though. You got to pay for the delivery. 250? Whatever. I can tell you that. I can handle it. It's not 250 for delivery. It's like 250. Yeah. What are you talking to? What do you mean 250 for delivery? I got dash pass. You got dash pass?

What's dash pass? You pay like $20 a month and you get free delivery on everything. It's only $2. $2.50 for delivery? Yeah, if you have DashPass, you got to pay the extra $20 a month. I didn't know that. I'll look into that. Well, how do you not know about DashPass?

They're trying to get you to buy DashPass every two seconds. I don't use Dorcas. You could have been saving with DashPace. Yeah, well, if you get Dash Pass, the delivery is basically free. You pay like $2 whatever service charge, and I don't tip them because they're all Chinese and they're thankful for the work. Okay? That's slavery.

Right. So I go 10 wangs, 10 bucks. fantastic. I choose my flavors, original hot, Hawaiian, garlic parmesan, whatever. It shows me of my house. I open the box. I'm all excited to eat my wings. What do I find? Not wings.

Little fucking chicken nuggets. Little chicken nuggets. Little disgusting blobs of chicken. And it's the worst part of the chicken. It's chicken breast. Chicken breast has no flavor. So in order to offset the fact that it tastes like nothing,

they cover it in the worst. The worst, breading, the insipid sauces, no amount of sauces can fix the boneless wing. It's a terrible, terrible product. Yeah. Okay. Now, they're not going to get real wings for $10. Obviously, I thought it was like a special promotion. I thought I lucked out.

I said, well, obviously, they're trying to get the word out about how great these chicken wings are. Who? Who was trying? This would explain the wind. Wing stop was. I said this explains this fantastic deal. We got to let people know we have wings at the wing stop. We need to let them know.

I didn't read the fine fucking print on the thing that says, oh, by the way, they're not actually fucking wings. I don't think it was fine print. I think it was the title of the order was boneless wing. The title says, no, I'm going to tell you right now, the title says 10 piece wings. Right. And then you click on it and there's a little fucking radio. button that defaults to boneless. Yeah.

Now, you can change the radio button to regular not shitty wings, or if you're insane, a half and half mix because you want half your meal to be shitty. Probably because you're sharing it with someone. If I'm sharing with somebody, why would they want boneless wings? We would both want wings. Yeah, okay. Yeah.

Okay. So it defaults to the boneless, because they're trying to trick you into buying boneless wings because they cost them fucking... Here's the problem. A chicken only has two wings. This is the biggest problem in the chicken wing industry. The chicken wing used to not be a big deal.

It used to be like, ah, what are you going to do with a wing? There's not a lot of fucking meat on a wing. And then they figured out, well, you make it like a fucking event. Oh, my God, it's a chicken wing. Holy shit. And we have all these sauces and flavors. And for some reason, a guy said, well, you got to have celery sticks for some fucking reason. It's a pallet cleanser.

It's kind of weird. They're full of water. They're full of water. Palet cleanser. I get the feeling that the guy who came up with the chicken wing was looking at the guy who came up with the celery and the carrot sticks. And was like, okay, but I did most of the work on the chicken wing project. You came up with celery. It's gross if you just have wings with no celery or carrots. It's gross.

It's just too much. Like, you need to get that tacky feeling off of your tongue. It's just, it's interesting to me that it's like, you got to. have some fucking celery too. You know, like, is there any other situation where you go, you got to have some celery other than chicken wings? Like peanut butter. Peanut butter and raisins, yeah.

No, you don't got to have celery for peanut butter. Peanut butter has a variety of uses. That's if you have celery, you need peanut butter. Okay, so what else do you have? I need celery. I need fucking celery. Yeah. I don't know, like a cop salad.

What has chopped up celery in it? Does a cob salad normally have celery in it? in it? No, maybe not. No, there's one kind of salary. It's a good celery in a cob cell. Okay, so it's the only thing that has to have celery. Okay.

It's the only thing that has to have celery. It's a little weird. I can't think of any other situation. I gotta go get some fucking celery. Anyway, there have been lawsuit stick where a man, there's currently an ongoing class action lawsuit against Buffalo Wild Wings. On whose behalf? Proud Americans everywhere are tired of being tricked into purchase.

just in bonus wings. Yeah. The good ones, the real ones. The slave owners. I are tired of being enslaved by the chicken restaurants. Saying, you're willfully, falsely, and knowingly misrepresenting what you're selling. How can I, how can you sell something and say it's a chicken wing if it's not a chicken wing? What would a chicken wing be defined as the wing of a chicken?

Oh my God. Is this really a lawsuit? Of course, this is a good lawsuit. Why don't you guys just like Calm down and just take an extra second to see what you're ordering Welcome to my restaurant Do you want some frog legs No

Yeah and then I bring you a fucking cheese doodles Wouldn't you go This is misrepresenting This is a bit bizarre What is it? Calamari is not Calamari everywhere No one throws a big fit What are you talking about

The calamari that they serve in restaurants Isn't always squid Or is very rarely squid It's like pigs assholes or something Okay, well, that's not true. That's like a fucking urban legend. Really? It's squid.

It's actually squid? I don't know. Someone just told me that, so I said, oh, okay. Every pig has one asshole. It would be actually harder to serve a fucking plate of pig assholes. You're killing tugs of pigs, though. They're killing tons of squids. It would take more time to make a plate of pig assholes and they just cut up one squid.

That's recorded. I don't think so. I think there's tons of pigs getting killed. Or in tech. First of all, It's not just one asshole. It's a whole... Why would the guy take time?

It's like 20 feet of asshole. It's like a whole large intestine that they can chop up. No, the intestines is not... That's intestines. It's not the assholes. I don't think it's real calamari. I don't think it's real squid that you're eating. I think it's big assail.

If you had said imitation crab, I would have been there with you. But now you're talking about pig asshole calamari. I guess that, I guess, okay, imitation crab. That's true. Limitation crab has in the name, though. imitation. Now, if these were said, okay, if it said imitation wings, I'd go, all right, there you go. That's fine, because I understand imitation. Not the real thing. Why would they put that on the menu? Bimitation wings. Why would you put boneless wings? It's not a boneless wing

in fur is that you took the wing of an animal and removed the bones. Yeah. It does not infer that you took a completely different part of the animal and just randomly said, that doesn't have ribs. That's like a you know what you actually make a good point well the mic rib is made from rib meat I assume no I don't I don't think so I don't know I think it's the I think it's the rib if it's not rib meat then that's a good lawsuit

I would assume it's rib meat but maybe I'm wrong maybe that's the next class action lawsuit that's a good lawsuit yeah because you guys aren't getting like the what you ordered the words that you ordered because you're in such a haste to just get food in your mouth. How are you going to defund? How are you going to defend boneless wings? Look, here's the other thing. If they tasted

great, I would have no issue. They do. They do. They taste terrible. No, my God. Boneless wings taste fine. They just take like nuggets. They just taste like sauce. They don't taste like nuggets. It tastes like dog shit. Like you're tasting the meat of a wing from Buffalo Wild Wings. Like that's what, oh, this chicken is

Are you going to infer that there's a premium version of a chicken wing? It's a fucking chicken. Yeah. So it tastes the same, whether it's on a bone, whether it's breaded, it's just the sauce that you put on it. No, no, no. The wing meat has a different quality. There's higher fat content

in the wing than in the chicken breast. It has a different flavor profile. It tastes way better. I think if you're ordering from Buffalo Wild Wings, you should be prepared to select between boneless or non-boneless when you go to order. I think that's on you. I think I was tricked.

I think they know that the ordering is purposefully confusing. I go to the app. They go, it's a coupon. You get five... Okay, I'll put it this way. I go on the app, they go, five free wings with every order. I go five free wings with every order.

Yeah. Bones. It doesn't say five free boneless wings. It just says five three wings. Well, those aren't wings, man. That's bullshit. Because I was going through ordering, I'm going, well, this is great, because I'll buy 10 wings.

I'm going to get an extra five. I get to check out. Oh, by the way, they're the boneless. ones. That's cool though, right? Bro. Bro, that's cool. Same thing, right? No. When I came to the app, you said I get five free wings. I guess, you know what? You're right. It is, it is bullshit.

That's bullshit. And there is just a ton of people that are upset about it and suing them, and they really are lying about the bonelessness of the wings to trap you into spending more money on this shitty food. They really are. There you go. There you go.

And I wish they could do more with that. I wish they would somehow get these people over. Can you buy a snap? Can you spend snap on these wings? Can you spend snap? Yes. I don't know. Probably.

I'm going to tell you this. It's not going to be too long until somebody does snap and goes in one of these places and murders everybody in the fucking restaurant. I think you guys should drive them out of business. Buffalo Wild Wings. I think that's the only course of action. I'm more of a wing stop guy, but I hear what you're saying.

Anyway, boneless wings, they're the worst. It's a marketing gimmick, shut it down. Imitation wings. That's what they should be called. Inmitation wings? Is that, okay, boneless wings? And they should be shaped like a wing. If it's an imitat, if it's a boneless wing, you can at least take it and shape it like a fucking, no, they're just fucking nuggets.

They don't even look like a chicken wing. I mean, they're kind of. Chicken wings, though. Sometimes that includes a drumstick, though, and you're not throwing a fit about that. That's a leg. Okay, you might have a point. So you're okay with chicken legs. That's fine, but...

Well, hold on. It's not a chicken... Is it the leg? The drumstick? Yeah. It's a thigh. I think you got a problem with your lawsuit. But I'm saying it's not like the claw.

You're not like, you can't like deep fry the fucking talons, you know? Well, you can, but they're not serving that. They're serving you wings. I'm saying that's the feet of the chicken there. You're getting the upper, you're getting the upper part of the leg. Yeah, that's not, you know, that's not known as a quote-unquote wing. All right, so call them wings and legs. Well, they don't, though.

Chicken wings and legs. All right. Okay, my problem is the fake AIA typing when you're on customer service bots. And you're talking to the customer service now. Like every website you go to, they replaced all their Indians with AI. And then you're talking to the AI and you're describing your problem. And it says like it has a little typing, a little fake typing bubble where the computer's responding back to you. And it's like do-do-do-do typing.

And it tricks you. And it's like the worst thing that there is in the universe. That little thing that says, boop, boop, the fake. You think that's fake? You don't think that's real? The computer's not typing. I know that the computer is not typing. Oh, because it's AI. It's not like a guy.

It's not a guy. Yeah, it's just like saying, do, do, do, typing to like... Well, the AI is thinking, right? Yeah, but it's not typing. It's not going like, boop, boop, it's not doing what a real human does. Where? Who are you talking to? Every site. Every website that has now you go, you have a problem with anything. It's like, now you've got to argue with the machine that's just making shit up about what you're doing your response.

Oh, man. I'm so tired of arguing with the machine. It's like, can we pay? a law where they just let us argue with a guy. Yeah. Get rid of this shit. Dude, I'm paying companies money and then they fuck with me and I go

hey, if you're going to fuck with me, can I talk to a guy about how you're fucking with me? And they're like, we don't have a guy to talk to. We don't have a guy anymore. Give me one of the Indians that you guys had. No, we don't have them anymore. Yeah, just give me an Indian. Now we got a computer. Like, well, the computer doesn't care at all. Like, the computer doesn't even understand the concept of the problem that I'm explaining.

It's just, and you got it fake typing. Why do you have it fake typing? Dude, it's a dystopian it's a dystopian fucking nightmare. You can't talk to anybody and then the computer doesn't know what you're talking about. But at the very least, I would like it to say, you know, computing

or something. Puting. Not fucking fake typing back to me. Not boopoo pooh, oh, fucking, uh, and they all have a cute name. Oh, um, Raymond is, Raymond with a Z. Raymond is typing. Raymond is typing. No, I don't want to, I

I don't want to see Rayman typing. Do we have to, should we like pass laws right now that it's like, let's not personify the computers in any way. Let's not give them names. That would be great. That would be a great, an anti-antropomorphizing computers law, where if we catch you, anthropomorphizing a computer in any kind of way,

will kill you. You're put to death. Yeah, yeah. You're not allowed to think of it as a person. Your hand-on television. Did you hear the- news are the I forget where it was but it's like the amount of resources wasted from people thanking AI for doing a task for them yeah or they're going yeah you're like we're burning through an ocean

because all of you can't resist going well thanks chat GPT it's like dude every time you prompt the fucking dip into the code and fucking eradicate a rainforest to get an answer back to you stop thanking the fucking AI. But they're training them to do it. They're training them to do that by with this like is typing shit and thinking and all this crap. Mostly it's the typing thing that that annoys me most of all because I realize that I'm in the, I'm the demographic now. Like, all right.

Well, this is, they put this in here because it has some sort of a psychological effect on people. And it must be working because it's making me outraged. It's making me, you know, insane with, anger. And it's probably people are like, oh, that's cute. Oh. Oh, look at that.

It's typing. Isn't that? I wish it would be slightly transparent. Because I want, here's always my concern is that there is one Indian guy. You know, there's like a hundred computers, but one of them's actually a guy.

One of them's a guy. Yeah. Well, because like maybe there's something where they go, okay, well, we've got to have a guy. Right. Or at least one guy looking after the computer. Like, is there an Indian guy standing over the screen going,

yeah, it's a pretty good answer. Yeah, good job. I don't got to interject here. I just want to know what's going on. Who's in charge of what? Who's actually responsible when shit's broken? And whether any of this is being looked at by a human being at all?

I don't want the facsimile of an interaction with a human being. I don't want that. I want this to be better. I don't want this to be a crude imitation of what I. It's just like the wings problem. I want this to be imitation humanity

Yeah I don't want this to be imitation humanity here Just do Just wait If you have to think about something Wait and then say it Definitely whatever you do Don't do the typing thing

Because it's making you go insane Is they're going to start Purposefully programming In stupid retarded flaws Into the AI Like getting the tense of your wrong And shit like that Or misspelling words slightly

Yeah And they're going to encode that on purpose to further try and trick you into going, oh, it's got to be a guy because his grammar's a little off and he said something a little weird. Like, we're going to handicap the AI because we need to hold on to this weird

artifice that actual other human beings exist. Well, it's not trap them, matrix. It doesn't work at all. It's totally garbage, but it's just going to be more, it's going to be more passable garbage. It'll be more successfully passable garbage. Passed on to you, the consumer. There needs to be a lot.

passed that if you ask a chat, are you human or are you a robot? That by law it has to go, I'm a robot. Yeah. And then you have to go, I need you to identify which human being is responsible for managing and overseeing you. There needs to be some sort of a code that you can type in that will break through the thing. Because if you do it now, if you say like, no, I, customer support, customer support, it will start lying. Like, I got you processed. You're in the queue.

Someone will get back to you. Well, she's infuriating me because when I get like an email from one of these things, I have to go is there any actual human being here or which is just triggered by a robot and that's it. Like that's what's infuriating as I go,

is there any person here responsible for this? Or did a robot just decide to punish me today and that's who I'm dealing with? Is there anyone? Is there anyone in this at all? Is there any possible way? Can I get some kind of readout

that says like the percentage of close I am to dealing with a human because this fucking thing only exists to make it look like I'm about to talk to a person and I never will I get asymptotically closer to talking to a person and I was never close I was always halfway there um it's infuri you know how I set up you know I set up that website to try and sell some of my Pokemon cards and yeah used video games yeah So I get an email today from Shopify and they go, we noticed you're selling copyrighted items belonging to the Pokemon and Sony brands. We need you to upload permission. Not, well, but I'm selling old video games.

Oh, okay. They're going, we need you to upload a copyright authorization that you are authorized to sell Sony merchandise. And I go, hold on. I'm not manufacturing and selling Sony merchandise. I'm selling old video games that are lying around my house. It's perfectly legal. This is not a breach of copyright or trademark law. Even, like, remotely.

That's not a thing. Sony can't tell you you can't sell our stuff. That's not a thing. And I send them that message. And then I get like a fucking robot back. And it goes, if you can't provide us with the authorization forms, we're going to be forced to delist. delist your items.

And I go, they're just fucking Pokemon cards, man. Like anybody's allowed to sell Pokemon cards. They go, we're going to need those authorization forms from the Pokemon company. And now, so now I'm trapped in this fucking thing where I go, well, do I fake like a letter from the head

of Pokemon going, yes, Vito's allowed to sell fucking Pokemon? I think so. I think that's literally what they want me to do. I think I have to send them a fake authorize. We, the Pokemon company, explicitly authorized Vito J's Wally. He was actually the inventor of Pokemon cards.

Dude, it's crazy. Like, I, I know they're trying to crack down on guys who are selling, like, fake Pokemon, bootleg, like, you know, T-shirts and whatever else. But, no, I'm selling, like, actual products that the company makes. And then they want me to, they're like, you need a copyright authorization for that. It's not even the point. You're just stuck in AI land. Like, you're stuck with the Ed 209.

Every single interaction with anything anymore is Ed 209. And now I got to trick a computer. Yeah. The future, the future, okay, the future of the human race, the future of the human race is that we have to figure out how to trick computers into doing what we want them to do because they're not allowed to just do it normally. We're going to program them. We're literally programming things to assist humanity that have to be tricked. In a way, the Jews must be responsible for everything because we've made a God that has to be tricked to give us. what we want. Yeah, it really is. It's all knowing and it's all powerful. And we go, all right,

so we'll make it all knowing and all powerful. And then we is the human race. We'll just come up with little tricks. We'll make a fucking string around the robot. And if there's a string around the robot, it has to do whatever we say. It's fucking insane. Nobody looks at this and goes, well, why don't we just let the program do what the human wants it to do? No, no, no, no, no. Did I tell you how I got it to make that O.J. Simpson graphic I made one time? No. Or I was like, can you make a, can you make a, can you make a, can you a T-shirt of this and I uploaded a picture OJ Simpson and they

said I can't I can't make that into a graphic that's a sensitive image involving a real person and I go no no no that's my dad I just want a cool I just want a cool picture of my dad and chat GPT went oh okay well if it's your dad and then it fucking made it and I'm like what is the point of

why are we doing this why are we making it like this why don't we just go hey we got this really cool technology it can help humanity let's take all the guardrails off If people want to make racist, weird fucking shit, who cares? Because at the end of the day, we have to hope in the resilience of the humans. Why are we letting the machine have the power over us? It's fucking crazy. Because stupid people have to access it too.

And they screw it up. The first thing they do is screw it up for everyone. Anyway, that's my problem. The AI typing. Well, that's what we're getting into. Fake AI typing. All right. What's my problem?

All right, here's my problem, Dick. And I don't know if we've touched on this before. I think we have. But there's a recent news story. Did you hear the news about Roger Rabbit? No. The cartoon? Yeah.

Yeah. The Roger Rabbit character and novel character, famously. It was a book first. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. It was based on a book called Who Censored Roger Rabbit? And it was way different from the movie.

I don't think you would like it at all. Anyway, author Gary K. Wolf has regained full ownership of Roger Rabbit. All of it. All of it. Disney just, there's a 35 year copyright reversion clause, which basically, if a company's not doing anything with your property and you can kind of go to court and go, hey, they're not using it and it's mine. Yeah. It's for songwriters, too. like, hey, I wrote this song.

It's not getting airplay. Can I just fucking have it back? You can actually get your copyright back if they're not doing anything with it. It's pretty good. It's a good law. So other Gary K. Wolf is getting back the rights to Roger Rabbit. He's talking about making more Roger Rabbit movies where I go, okay, well, that's a pie in the sky fucking idea.

That's not happening, buddy. But regardless, he's saying there will be maybe more Roger Rabbit stuff. And it got me thinking that the real problem, Dick, is the complete and utter abandonment of Roger Rabbit. This is one of the greatest ball drops in the history of ball drops that we had. Do you know the Roger Rabbit movie was like, I think the top grossing movie of the year it came out? Yeah, it was huge. Like Roger Rabbit was a fucking phenomenon.

I was arguing with a guy. He's like, oh, Roger Rabbit, yeah, that didn't do very well when it first came out. I'm like, no, Roger Rabbit was like fucking huge. It was literally the number one movie of the year. year. Everybody went to see the fucking Roger Rabbit movie. Yeah. And then what happened? It's like it was a good movie, but

it was over. Sure. Okay, the movie was over but then you had this character, Roger Rabbit, which was like a generational character. This was like a once and a lifetime, like, you've invented a perfect cartoon icon. He had the status.

No, no, no, no. He immediately, in his first appearance, in his first movie, Roger Rabbit, immediately earned the status of a Mickey Mouse, of a, of a, of a fucking bugs bunny. Yeah, but as a joke. Like he's a satirical character. He wasn't that satirical. At the end of the day, he was a tune.

It was a cartoon character. Roger Rabbit could have been a multi-generational success. Why? Why do you think that? It's just that one story. They did more shit with him, though. They made more cartoons with him. Not any good ones.

just like the shitty like five minute cartoons before a movie. First of all, those shitty five minute cartoons before the movie were not shitty. Those were great. Okay? And by the way, the one where, you remember the one where he goes to the park and Jessica Rabbit's a park ranger

where their fucking titty's hanging out? Yeah. I think that's part of what you're describing is not like a generational mass appeal character. Her titty's hanging out. Roger Rabbit was a general, Jessica Rabbit is just the icing on the, the cake, okay? But Roger Rabbit himself

is a generational once in a lifetime comedic success that deserved decades of franchise films and animated spinoffs and whatever else. Okay. And instead, they just fucking dropped this fucking guy. Now, Roger notably, played a

significant role in the 1980. Because it's retarded. It's like adult humor. It's not retarded. Why? Okay. Why? It's not for kids. Mickey Mouse is? Yeah, Mickey Mouse is for kids. He's like... No, because nobody...

Mickey Mouse is for fucking 500-pound adults who go to the park to buy a new set of sparkly fucking ears. Mickey Mouse is a dead fucking brand. He's one of many dead brands. He's cool. He's got a 3D show. He's not as good as Roger Rabbit. He's way better than Roger Rabbit, man.

Roger Rabbit's like a... It would be like Walloichi having his own movie. No one wants to see fucking Walloichi. No, no, no, no, no. Roger Rabbit is way funnier than Mickey Mouse. Well, yeah, for adults. Yeah, Mickey's not supposed to be funny. It's for kids.

Oh, you're killing me here. You're killing me here. All right, let me find this. Let me find this thing here. I'm play Roger Rabbit. I'm not going to play it. I wanted to show a picture of what they've done to my boy. Okay.

Now, were you aware of this? Okay. So Roger Rabbit, he did have a couple animated shorts. Again, this was like the kind of thing. They were going to do like a Roger Rabbit spin-off series. But Disney- Oh, why? It's not a real character.

It is a real character. The whole point is that they created a mythos overnight. That, like, this was one of these things that it already exists. He's better than Felix the Cat, okay? He's better than fucking Heathcliff. All right? This is, this is how the Mighty Ducks hockey team became a real thing. Because of this thinking exactly.

Oh, yeah, the Mighty Ducks. No, no, no, no. That was stupid. The Mighty Ducks thing was stupid. That's what you're describing. No, no, no. All right, I want to share a picture real quick. So this was, if you go to Disneyland, if you go to Toontown, you could ride the two-town ride, right?

It's Roger Rabbit's crazy cab ride. And as part of the crazy cab ride, what do you got here? What do we got here? Jessica Rabbit getting raped in the back of a... It's not getting raped. It's not rape. I don't see rape here. What's that guy doing with the rope and throwing her in?

She's been kidnapped, okay? He's kidnapped. Jessica Rabbit. He's got the rope. They're for a front of her neck, which is a bit suggestive. A. You'll get to blackmail Roger, obviously. It's a blackmail type situation.

He wants money. It's like rape to me. But of course, the Puritans at Disney have erased Jessica Rabbit. Yeah, because that other one is rape. You can't put that shit in a ride. All right, you're right. Maybe it was a little rapy. If it is an adult themed.

The rope is around her neck. They could have removed the rope from the neck. I'll say that. I'll agree with you there. But you could have kept her in the trunk. She's getting thrown in the trunk. Bro, you can't have any of that. It's a classic damseland distress scenario.

Now it's completely gone. Yeah, that's appropriate for kids. Actually, kids shouldn't be into the Roger Rabbit ride anyway. It's like a PG-13 movie. Kids like Roger Rabbit. Kids like Roger Rabbit. No. Not to mention, if you went to Tune Town, you would see the

classic Roger Rabbit fountain now completely removed. It's like Disney will not even acknowledge what a success Roger Rabbit was what a foundational character beloved just a classic

and they completely dropped the ball. Eddie was the good part of that movie, not Roger Rabbit. Eddie Valiant is not a generational character. Kids are not lying up to ride the Eddie Valiant Eddie Valiant. Not Roger Rabbit. It was about both. It was about both of them.

It was a duo. It was a fucking buddy comedy. What did Roger Rabbit learn then? How did Roger Rabbit's character change? It didn't. He learned that Well, you know what? Eddie was the driving character.

Yeah, Eddie was the character. Roger learned. Roger didn't do shit. He didn't change at all. Because his brother died. His brother got killed by a tune. Fucking. Eddie.

Eddie. Eddie Valian. Well, Roger had to. Okay, Roger's thing. Roger's arc was he's goofing too much, he's goofing around, doesn't Eddie go like, he got to shut up, he's not, you gotta stop

goofing, sometimes you've got to take things seriously. No, and then at the end, Eddie said you have to goof around even more. Okay, yeah, so he had to embrace being a fucking tune and he had to learn how to make two and he was being a goofball. Yeah, but he learned how to he learned how being a goofball could be

his strength if he used it correctly. How did he learn that? It's been a while since I've seen how Roger fucking who killed Roger Rabbit, right? I don't know. It's been a while. I don't remember the exact fucking character arc.

Kids shouldn't be watching Roger Rabbit shit. The Jessica Rabbit's totally inappropriate for kids. It's just a bunch of weirdos jacking off to it. It's too much. Jessica Rabbit at least kept a fucking generation heterosexual, okay? I'm gonna say,

now all the kids watch the cartoons and every fucking cartoon is just gay shit, gay shit, gay shit. I knew two gay guys, guys. And I said, so how did you know you were gay? And then, you know what they both said at the same time? That was raped.

No, they got raped during. It was a little both. Obviously, they were molested at some point. Probably right before you get molested. Then you watched Digimon. How did Digimon teach them they were gay? Because it's a bunch of guys run around going, oh, show me your Digimon Adam and

let's Digivolve together. It's the gayest fucking shit you've ever seen in your life. That Ditchiemon shit. Wait, wait, wait. Is this a real story that happened? Is it a real story? Two gay guys told me. How? They were in a relationship.

With each other? Yeah. That's probably the first clue that they're gay. When did you know that you were gay? And then they both said, watching Digimon. Yeah, but why Digimon? Because it's the game's fucking show. Look at Digimon.

Look at the fucking kids in Digimon. They're all gay. It's these two gay. It's like, no, no, no. It's the gay shit in the world. Digimon cast. Look. It's a bunch of it's the gayest shit. It's just anime. It's gay anime shit.

No, it's what, because, but look at the way they're like fucking dressed. Here, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, Kingdom Hearts? What are they dressed like? I'm gonna describe it, describe it. It's, you know, it's audio. No, I'm gonna, yeah, I know it's an audio thing, but you will know when you see it here, I'm sharing it, okay? It's a fucking Googling, yeah. All the gay, shut up. Shorts and a fucking hoodie is gay?

Every gay archetype is represent. in this picture. Okay, you got the intellectual, homosexual. He goes, ooh, I'll suck your cock after I'm done reading this book. Okay, then you got the sporty gay who's like, oh, let me put these goggles on before I suck your cock. I think you're just gay. If you're seeing all this is gay, you are gay. No, no, no. This is every gay.

Every gay character is in Digimon. Then you got the cool gay at the club. It's kind of like, yeah, you want to dance? You want to dance with me and my Digimon? This is not what gay guys at the club look like. And then a kid. This is a fucking gay culture. This is the kid you adopt and molest the shit out.

Like Dave Rubin. This is the Dave Rubin. A kid. And even the girls is like fucking guys. Look at this. No, no tits. Trans. No tits on any of the girls.

It was the gayest cartoon. How is this gay at all? Just look at the fucking ring. I think your gay friends are homophobic. Look at it. There's no tits on the chick. All right. now you watch Pokemon.

Misty's fucking Midriff was showing the whole fucking time. But her fucking shirt came like up to here. She's walking around with her... Jesse had huge fucking tits on Pokemon. You're right. Okay. Digimon. James had huge tits. All the girls are flat chested and all the guys are clearly

gay. They're kids though. They're little kids. Yeah, it's a gay little kids show for everything in Japan is Japan puts gay shit and all the little kids shows. Why were your... Why did your two gay friends say that Digimon turned them gay. It didn't say they turned them gay. It says that's how they knew they were gay. It was they

watched it and they said, look at all these guys I want to fuck on the Digimon show. They're pedophiles. They're not gay. I don't know what to tell you. Okay, Digimon is the gayest cartoon. It made a whole generation gay. We all know it

and that's it. Okay. So, your problem is Roger Rabbit not getting the... The abandonment of Roger Rabbit. Now the rights have gone back to the 70-year-old novel writer who's not going to do anything with him.

Okay, so what do you want there to be with Roger Rabbit? Like another movie? He should be in all the... He should be in Space Jam. He should be in hanging out with Mickey. She bought a McGee's crew. You know, do you know he was in a couple tiny tunes episodes? He should be more...

He should be in the tiny tunes. You know what? I was about to say... There's so many opportunities. I was about to say the satirical nature of Roger Rabbit would ruin those movies. And then I was thinking, okay, what is an example of that that would like, that would explain my point if I tried to find like a satire and combine it with like a genuine IP to show how it would ruin it. And the first, the first IP I arrived at was Clockwork Orange and then I remember that a Clockwork Orange was in Space Jam.

And it was totally fucking retarded. It's like, okay, fuck. It's actually crazy that Clockwork Orange was in Space Jam. Yeah, so Roger Rabbit should have been in Space Jam. in there. Put him in that ready player one bullshit. If in the middle of ready player run they're like, we got to race and Roger Robert goes, it would have ruined it.

It would have ruined it. No, it would have been, it's already ruined. It's any piece of shit. So fucking put Roger Rabbit in it. At least I would have something to look at. You didn't like that movie? Ready player one? No, I'm not retarded. Did you ever try to read the book? Why don't you like that movie? Because it's just...

It hit too close to home, I think. Yeah, you're too close to home. Because I read the, because I tried to read the, Because I tried reading the book. How hard did you try? Bro, it's impossible to read that book and not want to immediately throw it away. Why? Because there's a part in the book where he goes,

oh, we got to get all the keys, we got to go to the magic keys. And one of the ways to get all the magic keys is to reenact the entire plot of Ferris Bueller's Day Off. And it's just a chapter of him going through Ferris Bueller's day off. It's Bueller's Day Off or some other fucking John Hughes movie. I don't even fucking remember. And you're like, this is insipid. This is horrible. Yeah.

And thankfully the movie, you know, in the book, you know what? They fucked up with the movie. What did they do? In the book, in the book, he's a big fat guy. Oh. Because they all live in fucking trailers and they never leave the house because they're all in VR. So in the book, he's just a huge fucking fat guy.

And you're like, well, that's pretty cool. That's funny. And the movie's just like a regular guy. Yeah, he's like a handsome guy. He's like a handsome guy. And so is the girl. So it's like the mystery girl that he hooks up with. She's like a sex,

like a hot young girl too. Yeah. I think in the book he like meets the girl and she's like a real ugo fucking Tard. Yeah. Yeah. And you go that would have been way better. It's like in the digital world.

It would have been better if it was like they killed Charlie Kirk at the end of Ready Player 1. Right? It makes sense that in the digital world they're like, you know, awesome, like, cool badass anime guys or whatever. But then if they're, like, normal handsome actors in real life, you're like, well, no, what's the fucking point of the virtual world? Eat a big fat ugo.

It takes off the fucking VR helmet and he goes, oh, that's a good, good session on the grid. I really trond my way through that one. Like, that's, at least a counterpoint. There's something there. There's like a dichotomy. Instead, the movie's about nothing. Wasn't there like a black lady that was pretending to be like a big guy?

in VR? Yeah, that's, that's, that's, that's subversive as you're going to get. I was so down like, guys, obviously a woman saying that. It's obviously a lady. Whoa. Whoa, man. What if God was a woman? Whoa, man.

It should have been a big fat guy with a pile of tissues in the corner of the room because he spends half his time jacking off in the Matrix. It was not enough references to jacking off. I thought that was a fun movie. Not great. It was fun. Yeah, I really liked when the iron. Giant showed up and then like there was a Gundam

and I think I saw Back to the Future car was there and I went really fast because it's from the American Future car and uh and uh oh to win the race to win the race stick you gotta go backwards and for some reason like a million people have tried this no one tried this ever just this one

fucking kid who can't do something trick bullshit um okay so Roger Rabbit's back why don't you hit the guy up who has Roger Rabbit now you can do you can tell them about your movie ideas it's not a bad idea They had a sequel written. Apparently it's a very good script, and just Disney kept saying,

eh, we don't want to have to give Stephen Spielberg $5. I'm really glad they didn't make a second Roger Rabbit. It's perfect. It might have been bad. The way it is, it's perfect. Yeah, you're probably right. Because how could all that shit happen to the same guy again? It's always dumb when it's like all of the exact same shit.

It could have been something else. Yeah, it's better if it's like this one time, all this crazy shit happened to this guy and then it's done. Yeah. But just better. Well, I think more cartoons. We should have more cartoons.

You just want to jack off to. You want more cartoons you can jack off to in the theater. Yeah, fucking Jessica Rabbit was pretty great. All right. If Jessica Rabbit was on TV in the Digimon time slot, the gay population of America

would be cut in half right now. H1B's, something about Roger Rabbit. I don't remember what you said. You would have a tenth as, actually you'd have twice as many trans kids, half as many gay kids. So, what's the other one you said?

You want to take that? Oh, boneless wings. Boneless wings. Boneless wings. Um, what did I say? Something about... You said, talking to the AI. Fake AI typing.

Fake AI typing. Okay. Go to Biggestproblem. Go to Biggest Problem.com slash biggest problem. We got to do... Maybe we can do it this week. We gotta do biggest problem in snacks.

He's fucking something. I don't know. Figure it out. That's fine. Whatever you, give me a day. Let me know. All right. I'm loading the superchots.

I still got these gay Digimon kids and I'm looking at them. I'm like, man, this cartoon was the fucking worst. You better. You're making them gay. The chicks had no tits. They had no tits. They're kids. All right, but they don't got to dress like fucking Mormons or something like fucking Amish.

They should be. wearing an age appropriate clothing. There should be, there should be one really, like Pokemon figured it out. Yeah, the villain is a red-haired lady with big tits. That way all the kids don't turn

gay. L.J. Lobboree now for fine. That should be primary cartoon. What are the odds we get Super Killer 3 before a GTA6? What do you think? Over under? I think it's very possible. Possible. Koof for 2. Thank you for not killing yourselves. Thanks, Koof. Diamond G for 2. Just hurry up and get through super chats like last

week. I will try. Nihilistic traits for five. Vito is bald. Vito's a creep. Vito really likes to eat. Doesn't rhyme. And lover for five. Vito is the biggest blobblum in the universe reposting with caps because Ricardo read it wrong

last time. Thank you N-word lover. Martin O'Keefe for five. Patreon went from 11,000 in March to 7,000 now. It's crashing out more than Vito. Would you have done anything differently, Vito? Any regrets about it. You can answer or you can continue

reading Super Chats. I don't know what he's referring to. Anything. Anything he's asking. Is there anything I would have done differently in life? He didn't specify. He just said, is there anything you to do differently in life?

Buy more Palantir, for example. I would have held more Palantir. I would have held my Palantir longer. Helped longer. Great answer. I sold it too early. Do you have this up? Yeah, T-bag for two, RIP show, stray beans for three, stop fucking around, when super killer shipping, Diamond G for two, can't wait for my stamped copy, 001 of Ha-ha-JK, LJ, Claiborino for

five, food facts or stock tips, Vito. I don't think I have either. Diamond, you want a food fact? You had one today. Yeah, I already did one today. Diamond G for two, Reckon is still a patriot. A caro for two in Georgia. Gas is 265. It's the Liberals

Vito. Arthur Thomason says Gas is 3.30 here in Arizona. Stratory for 5. 4K Nintendo 64, Nope. PlayStation 1, Tomb Raider in 4K is where it's at. You won't believe how sharp Laura Craft's boobs are. Yeah, who would want like extra pixels on that shit?

Me. I want the pixlees. George Peter Gastis for two. What is Denalus? 200 page, Immortal Mask. graphic novel Check it out Captain Cheese for 5 Enslaving Black people comes up

And Vito has this energy All of a sudden I just It's an interesting topic Gordon Shumway for 2 Vito Win And Gordon Shumway for 2 Immediately huge Vito L

boneless wings are good What are you retarded? No Cap Chats for 5 Vito transitions from enslaving black people Immediately into talking about Fried Chicken interesting

Yeah interesting Real Black Guy for 5 Y'all need a new op so you can get more R-stones, go after Hassan. It's pretty profitable. Yeah, but then I would have to pay attention to what Hassan's doing, and that guy is the worst. Gary smokes, Oakh for five, Vito, how are you a left-leaning person?

You won't even tip your door-dash driver? Well, actually, Dick mentioned that he doesn't tip his door-dash driver, and I said, wait, you can just not do that? Yeah. And then I realized, yeah, it's all just fucking Chinese immigrants, and they don't care. Like, yeah, they would like tips, but they're also like, I'm making more money doing this than anything else I'd be doing.

Bingo Bob. I'll tip him a buck or two if it's far. Boneless chicken. Wait till you hear about breastless chicken. Angelina Jolie-inspired recipe. Wow, that's like late night. Late-late, late-night tear jokes. Ride dog for five.

The worst is when you're talking to an automated phone system and it gives you the fake typing notes. Yes, exactly. When it goes, hmm, let me see about that. Huh. Huh, let me check in on that. Diamond G for two. Vito is lying about his good wanks to Jessica. What does that mean?

Obviously, I've jerked off to Jessica Rabbit. I mean, but that's not why I'm defending Roger Rabbit. I think Roger Rabbit's a great character independent of Jessica Rabbit. Huh. Could have done more. Trotick for 10. Angel Woman, Beetle Starmon, Lilithmon. Digimon is a bunch of hot lady Digimon Vito.

Yeah, but they're controlled gay kids. So the fantasy is lost to me. A gay guy controlling a woman is just like watching a fashion show I don't need that Coup for five You know the artist Formerly known as DigiBro liked

Digimon and went trans Maybe Vito's on to something Ah Could be Find me a guy who likes Digimon And is like a real Man's man You know

Find me that guy I don't think it exists No I think anybody Pokemon The Pokemon Bros There's Pokemon Bros They're lifting and weights, they're trading shiny

muse. Is there a single Digimon bro? No. No, there's probably some Yu-Gi-O-Bros. But there's no... There's probably some Yu-Gi-Oh, well, Yugi was a bro. Yugi was a murderer. He was cool. Everyone in Digimon is gay. Everyone watches Digimon is gay. All right. That's the show, everyone. Go to the site. Let's see you next week. Bye.