The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 213

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

Bbba Bbba Bha Bha Bha Bha fuck I forgot to get the problems from last week On the website No I gotta load them up real fast Go to the URL You go to Biggest Problem In the universe

Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe The only show that ranks every problem in the universe from pimped out St. Nix to fooling fools enabling ticks. Is that what we, did we do ticks? From Abba Zaba. Fools enabling, like, nervous tests?

From Black Friday Dependents, from terminal tolerance? Did we do that? Was that a real problem? I don't know. Somebody tell me, for God's sake, I need to know if these were good ones or not.

That sounds great. How you doing? I'm doing all right. How's everybody doing? Out there. Okay. Out there in the land. How's everyone doing?

How's everyone in comment land doing? Oh, I saw you popping people's comments up there. Each one more insipid than the last. No, they're great. We love the comments. We love the fun. Ah. Okay.

I got him up here. do do do do do do Oh, Zootelor Pathological altruism You won That was me I won't I'm the winner

Um Somebody's got Somebody sent in a Vito wins song Let me find Oh I'm sure it's great Well don't be so fucking negative You're like Netanyahu Don't be so fucking negative right away

This guy works hard on it Created sort by created please yeah here we go Vito wins ready you're ready to this by Baca Neko Oh this was a Vito sweep I could fight I've fought many animals in by time Probably too many So I'm trying to stop Yeah

I didn't win the show I told you to send a song in His problems were bad While you don't work at Mavrimor Vito Zitos Dix problems were bad That's perfect And now he is

sad because he lost it. He does the best and Vito won the show. It looks great. Do the punishment. Punishment dance. So powerful. It's terrible. So powerful.

Okay. It's great. All right. There's a lot going on. There's a lot going on there. I've learned a lot. That was Bacaneko. Stupid cat.

That was terrible. We'll play that every time I'm going to. Every time I win, which I'm sure everyone will enjoy. That can't be played every time. All right. I think every time. I think it's like that stupid. You'll play that stupid fucking Bill Nyeson.

You can play this one. Way to fucking fuck to show up right at the beginning. Crappy Salza got second and then paywalled Santas barely hanging in there at third. Needing to buy something on Black Friday. Dead last. Ninth. Nine votes. Is my audio low, people are saying?

I don't think so, is it? They're saying, turn me up, it's good quality, just low. Say something. Test one, one, two, test one, one, two. All right. Do, do, do, do, do. Hey, there we go. Not low enough.

How about now? Do I do anything, or are you good? Thank you, Swag Jackson. I have created a Vito Wins song and a Vito Lost song for the show. I guess we'll have to wait to see the Vito Lost song. Okay, Britsman says, no more magic. You got it. Fox Foley.

The family of a Jewish kid from my town adopted a black kid whose parents kicked him out. He was one of three black kids in my high school. He was a drug dealer. He stole shit from people's cars. and started fights over literally nothing. He's now homeless and schizophrenic. In that order? I think Vito meant to call his problem.

Jewish altruism... I don't... No, he didn't. He didn't, Fox. Thank you for the comment, though. He didn't. AJ 0-0. On the art thing, they didn't all resign, the mods.

The main mod flipped out and unmotted everyone without telling them. Then they posted that they all resigned. LMAO. Okay. Correcting the record. Hunter McCoy says, I'm glad I got over cardboard cards in elementary school. If I want to play, I'll just print out what I want.

Yeah, I guess that's an option. You're going to print out playing cards? You're going to go print out? I mean, people, if you want to save money playing magic, whatever, we're not supposed to talk about magic, so I won't talk about magic. Do you not see how retarded it is that he's saying he's going to print cards out to play them? Do you think printing cards out is a legitimate way to play a card game? You're going to go play fucking Parchizi and print out the cards?

I don't think so. No, but like if certain magic. cards cost a lot of money, so I understand why you would, you know, print a proxy. Is that what you think he means? That's what I assumed he means. He means something fucking retarded. I'm going to print it out myself.

Idiot. I understand every bit has a jingle. Why does Vito's audio problem have a five-minute jingle at the start of every show? Hustler 6. 6.6. Thank you for the comment. Aaron Harver. Well, you know. New holiday business idea.

Grab a chair and a costume and set up at the mall. and just undercut all the other Santas. $60 per picture is insanity. Yeah, I know. Maybe I should go back to doing Santa. I think I'm pretty good at it. Yeah, they've got quite a racket now. You probably get health care and stuff.

His name was crazy. Them talking about Mother's Milk during the Mall Santa problem was a depressing a reminder of how good this show used to be. It's a nice sentiment for the holiday season. The Downrange Gamer. The biggest problem in the universe is having a successful comedy show and then derailing it every 20 minutes to talk about the newest magic card

or children's toy for no reason. I don't know if we did that last episode. I'm sorry. I think the show is good when we just kind of go off on a tangent. Am I crazy? People are sick of magic shit. They're fucking sick of it. Mando's world.

Okay, well, I mean, we can talk about something else, I guess. That's what they're saying. I'm here for the impending implosion. I give it 22 more episodes. Hmm. Ziu Sillu. I don't want to hear card and toy stuff unless it's related to the problem. Wow, everyone was very upset about the card and toy stuff.

Locatero. I can't believe this show that was once involved in a trademark dispute in comic book fights. Now it's like watching an old dog and waiting for it to die. Everybody in the comments is driving me nuts. I can't figure out if my audio is working or not. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Uh, I just, I don't. know anymore.

Like waiting for an old dog. That's what old dogs do when they're dying. They can't, they don't know if they're making noise. They don't know if they're hearing things right. The Savage Gamer, why does Vito feel the need to shill things that don't really, I don't know. I am wrecked. AI wrecked. I just got two separate free Santa pictures at a local brewery and the botanical garden.

Wow. So you just have to go to a brewery or a botanical garden. I'll give a shot. Okay, they were saying I'm low. It should be better now, I hope. Uh-oh. Oh, no, that bio. If I had a death note, the entire page would be of Kamala Harris.

I don't think you have to fill a page up to use the death note. It's just once. Ryan Hudson, boo. Low 922. Vito, are you ever going to admit you took people's money? It's funny how you gloss over it. People paid you. Yeah, well, you're going to...

I'm still working on getting the comic out. Josh Hill, there's absolutely no fucking way. Vito plays Dark Souls while on an exercise bike. I occasionally play hearthstone on my phone while on the treadmill and even that is difficult sometimes and that is a fucking card game he says.

I mean I do play Dark Souls just you know you go in a loop you got to get into an area where you know the area You just hold the button down? No it's that in Dark Souls you have to level up a lot you have to grind so you just grind the same area

for like an hour leveling up. It does kind of suck. I don't miss that. I hate how games have become a movie, but I do not miss the grinding for hours to level up. I mean, this one, at least the grinding is kind of interesting because you're like, you know, I don't know, Dark Souls has this weird quality about it, which is impossible to talk to to somebody who's never played Dark Souls. Oh, I've, I mean, I've watched it. How much do you need to, does that not translate at all? I've played It's just like, you would think, okay, but like with Mario, like, once you know how to play Mario, you're probably not going to fuck up a level you've played like a hundred times.

That's not, you're talking to a speed running guy. What are you talking about? But I'm saying, like, Dark Souls, like one little thing will go wrong. It'll fuck up a thing. You've done the loop like 20 million times. You're like, how did the wolf come from the left that time? Yeah, that's speed running, dude. He's never done that before.

What do you mean? It always comes, the same bad guys always come from the same spots? That's not even a game. Whenever, whenever you respawn, everybody's in the same place. But like, you know, uh, just you'll fuck something up and then like a wolf that you didn't expect to come at you. All right. I like, all right. So I'm in this section.

There's all these wolves. Okay. And if they howl, more wolves show up. Okay. So you got to hit the wolf in the head with your stick before he fucking howls or else all the wolves show up. But you might press the button. Mechanic. Yeah.

You don't think I would understand that? Press the button a second late and then he howls. And now you're like, oh, shit. Now I've got to deal with all those wolves. So I can try running. up the cliff, but then the tree lady who isn't normally active until you hit her, you accidentally hit her on the way

up, so now she's active, she grabbed you with her tree branch fingers. Yeah. And then you got five guys throw in javelins. You're like, great. This, this route I thought. That's a video game, though. It's like, random stuff's happening. It's a little different. It's just, it's, it's, it's supposed to be a truly, you never truly master a

dark soul's area. Like sometimes that turtle going down the stairs will turn another way for no reason. Every once in a while. And you're like, every once in a while. Yeah, but that's like, that's very manageable. and Dark Souls, there's like a lot of shit going on. Like a skeleton man might pop out of the ground and then you're like, well, I didn't see that coming. I remember that. I knew a guy who was very bad at Dark Souls and I saw a lot of skeletons come out of... I saw a lot of skeletons coming out of the ground.

I never saw him win a PVP game and I always tell him to play PVP. I don't have the online for Dark Souls anymore because I just lost all the time so I just don't even play it online. Hmm. Yeah. That sounds familiar. Aaron says, remember a few years ago in the head mod of anti-work, ignored the entirety of the sub and gave the cringiest news interview, essentially butchering every good point. Isn't this from last week? I thought we did this, or any. What do you mean?

That comment was on the last episode? Oh, that was on the previous episode? I thought so. I thought we already read that one. Did I print out the wrong one? Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe. I distinctly remember you saying that before. Oh, the ghetto. Oh, Nick 1-5.

Nick 4-15. Fito describing how much time he was doing retarded shit all day while people are still waiting with the comic they paid for four years. It's hilarious. I'm working on the comic, and I don't, what did I describe that I do all day? Print stuff with the 3D printer? This guy's hallucinating. I can work on the comic while that's happening.

And, uh, with your feet? Comics looking good. I'm getting it off to the printer very soon. Amy says, did everyone either get a full refund or a hard copy of the comic? Have you or your friends considered small claims court? Even with a filing fee, people could get something back. It just seems so wrong that fans of the show gave money for a project and have nothing to show for it. Is it going to be printed?

If not, has there been an apology? Refunds? I didn't even buy the comic, but this really bothers me for some reason. Well, you will be getting a comic. Uh, pretty soon, man. It's, uh, it's looking good. I, uh, the color, well, whatever. I mean, I don't know.

I don't know what to talk about. Zezar. I got to make it look good. It's got a lot, it had a lot of problems and I had to fix all the fucking problems. Zezar says, Dick, the self, here's one. Here's a, here's a, you know, and the second one's coming along. Second one looks good. Hmm.

So the second one will hopefully be ready way quicker. Zesar says, Dick, the self-proclaimed liar is completely fine with rich people. cheating the system to get ahead, but not when poor people do it. I don't know what that's in reference to. To me either. I guess... I never know what anyone's talking about. Poor? You don't know what anyone's talking about or just this guy? Well, I never remember what happened last episode that could be in reference to.

I'm not... I'm not... I hate when poor people cheat the system, but I'm totally fine with rich people doing it. Yeah, sure. That's you. Yeah. I mean, how do you feel about Trump just pardoning everybody? You don't care. It sucks, but what are you going to do?

It's another classic. He tried to shoot him and he can't. So what are you going to do? Talking about, like, that's the worst thing about you with Trump is it's like he does stuff that clearly is just terrible. Right. Like just. Terrible. Sure.

That's terrible. Or just go into guys who are just rich. And he goes, well, if I pardon this rich guy, all my rich friends will be a much nicer to me. Okay, even though the guy clearly committed crimes. That's not nearly as bad as the Israel one, but okay. It's still like obviously bad. Genocide's pretty much the top. And then, yeah, pardoning criminals.

Yeah, bad. I don't know, man. It's just like Trump's clearly a bad guy. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Was that, does it have to be like a bad guy to do a bunch of bad stuff? I just, it would be one. It's one thing to go, hey, Trump's like the alternative I want. If that was your attitude, I would get where you're like, well, you know, he's the best choice I got.

But instead you're like, oh, I love this guy. He's the best guy. Yeah, and I'm like, well, why? There's no reason to love him. He's not a good guy. He said Mexicans are rapists. He said, all Mexicans are rapists. They got to go back.

That was awesome. He actually didn't say all Mexicans are rapists. He said, I'm banning Muslims from coming the U.S. He said a lot of fine neo-Nazis were in Charlottesville. That was awesome that he said that. He did say that. He said, man. So what?

So he does some stuff I don't like, too. He said all those Nazis in Charlottesville, I don't know what the problem is. They got a cool flag and a fun way addressing. Let them have some fun. Lots of good people, he said. More good people on the Nazi side than the other side. Famously Trump on Charlottesville. I just like the Nazis.

I just think the Nazis are kind of cool. I think they look cool. I think they look cool. And I think their ideas are cool. That's what he said. So? Yeah. Who cares?

It's great. It doesn't matter. Yeah. I don't like, dude, I don't. So I do some bad stuff. What are you going to do? Again, what are you going to do? What's the alternative?

I don't know how you are able to exist in like a conservative space. Just like when the stuff conservatives do. Yeah. Like steal babies from their moms like Dave Rubin did and his gay boyfriend did? Because I don't recognize homosexual marriage. Yeah, like when they did that. I mean, I guess the left is also embarrassing. It's just like the thing is I don't celebrate, you know, I never celebrated Biden.

No, isn't like, yay, Biden, I love Biden. Yeah, because he's retarded and sucks. Yeah, well, Trump's also retarded and sucks. No, Trump's not retarded. He's just evil. I don't think he's, I don't know. I don't think he's nearly as clever as you would hope he would be. What are you talking about?

He got out of jail. How clever can you get? He did do that. He's the funniest guy in the last 100 years. He's the funniest person that ever was. He really, uh, man. and those Epstein files, huh? He probably should have just shut up about those.

He gets himself into scenarios he doesn't need to be in. Well, yeah, that's politics, man. Yeah. Got a lot of... He swings a little... He swings a little too wide. You got to hire people to do jobs, and the only people that are left that want to do them are retards.

So you got Dan Boingo, cash retard, blonde whore. And they're like, okay, well, I guess these retards are doing jobs. Was that guy blowing And Pete Hegseth Blowing up boats That's cool though I will say that it's like

You don't think that's cool That's one of those ones where I go They go it's a war crime It's like a war crime I'm like I'm like A bunch of fucking drug dealers on a boat I'm not

Yeah I get you're gonna arrest him right after Netanyahu too for the war crime As soon as people say war crimes Like okay all right Whatever Sometimes the liberals pick a good battle And sometimes it's like

He blew up some Some drug guys on a boat. I'm not, no one's losing sleep over that man. If you get blown up on a boat, first of all, you were doing okay because you're on a boat. It's the middle of the afternoon on a weekday. What were you doing on a boat? You deserve you get blown up. Secondly, probably

drug dealer. I think they weren't drug dealers, yeah. You think they were or weren't? I think they were. And then the big kerfuffle is that they shot the boat and then after you shoot the boat, you're not allowed to shoot the boat a second time. You got to shoot the boat a second time and make sure everyone's dead.

What is that, what is that, what is that rule. It's called a double tap. No shoot in the boat twice. You get one shot. I miss that. I miss that guy, that drug dealer. I missed it. Well, you can't, you had to do it on the first one. All right. I never understand any of the rules of engagement. It's the fog of war is Pete Higgs. It's just do whatever you want. And then like. I mean, it is one of those things where I go, you're really going to nail the guy because he shot a boat. Like, come on. You're not going to get him on that. Put those boats. He'd have to like, he's going to do something way worse. Now, if there was a bunch of Jews on the boat, he's gone. Israel would take him out. That's you guys now. You guys own that anti-Jew stuff.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Okay, well, I get, what are we doing here? What's going on next? I guess we're going straight into the problems. You win. We're going to decide, guys, let us know in the comments what we should do with the voted up segment. Some have suggested it is getting stale. should maybe move to a once a month format

and maybe we should try other bits in its place. Yeah, you gotta try other bits. You gotta mix it up. Okay, well, we would have to... If it's good, you would vote it up. But not all the time. I mean, I thought... Not all the time.

You seem to think doing the news is like a not a good idea. I thought it works. No, no, no. Or sometimes. Every radio show does... Every radio show does the news. Do you want to do every radio show? Do you know how much money they make?

They're all popular. The popular... Even the... Who, Kevin and Bean? Who's a popular radio show? Charlemagne? Could all Kevin... Yeah, Big Bobby Chungis and the Brownie, K-O-9.5. Who are you talking about?

I don't fucking know. Well, what do you mean? The news is like a daily thing. That's why they're doing the news every day so they have something to talk about. It's the news of the week. It's what's going on in the world and how it relates back to the show. People aren't tuning into the show to get the news. They're tuning in to get comedy, hot hot comedy.

Okay, but it just gives us something to riff on. The point is that you're supposed to riff on it a little bit. Yeah, win it. But you got to keep the, on a show, you got to keep things mixed up. Or else people get bored and they get tired of it. So you got to mix it up. Like, oh, it's this bit. It's a different news story every fucking time.

That's what's different about it. It's got to be like, oh, oh, it's voted up. Oh, yeah. When was the last voted up? That reminds me. Not like, I've fucked this voted up before. I'm tired of fucking this voted up. I want something.

I'm going to fuck a new bit. That's what it's like. Okay. So we'll come up with other segments. Maybe we can have four segments every month. I see again, again, you're getting into the again. As soon as a man sees a routine, he rejects it. He gets tired of it.

No, people specifically like routines. Like, all of YouTube is watching the exact same video over and over and over again. If they're not, they mix it up, they go to a different person. They're like, ooh, here's my culture war trash from a whore. Oh, now I want to get from this fucking retort. They tune into the quartering every single day to find out that Bud Light is still gay. Like, that's what people want. They want the routine.

It's dropping off, though. That's like he's a daily, he does like five videos a day, though. That's what, that's news. Well, let me put it this way. Why don't you the fans determine the fate of voted up? Would you like it to be? They don't fucking know. Don't ask the fans.

Byweekly, monthly, or never again. What do you mean? Don't ask the fans. Okay, you know what? And ask, what else do they want? If you're going to ask them, If you're going to ask them for feedback, you have to give them a wild card, too. Say, all right, Ann, we could have something else that you want.

We could have other, we could have other segments. That doesn't have to be a segment. It could be anything. Anything that they want. You know what we should have? We should have the video game challenge. We could boot up a round of Tetris at the outro to the show. Oh, I forgot about that.

And see who, I still want to see how good I am at video games versus you. You're not. You're not better than me of a video game. We could just load up Street Fighter or anything, play it on netplay. and do like a 10-minute video game, five-minute video game segment. Yeah. That would be fun.

People would like that. Yeah, maybe. And because people would like it, you're going to say no. It's just like playing video games. Now it's just Twitch. Oh, God, yeah. People don't want to just see video games being played on a comedy show.

You can't go from like, hey, we got to do something that's popular and people like it to, you know, but not like Twitch. That's funny. People want to see it. Fido, it's a comedy show. It's not a, don't do it. any work show and play video game show. It's comedy. Did you ever watch when

fucking Siskel and Ebert were playing Sega Genesis against each other? It's a great bit. I would never want to. How many times they do it? Every show? They should have if they had ever watched every episode. How many times did they do it? Oh my God, I'm just spitballing fucking ideas. Why don't you come up with an idea? It's a great show. It's a great one once in a while. That's it. I didn't say every show it would be every show, but it could be once in a while. We could do it. If there was like a new podcast. popular game that had a multiplayer component. Okay.

What's your, what's your problem this, this week? What do you got? Let me see here. Dick, right now it is, season five of Stranger Things. Oh, God. Do you watch Stranger Things? Yeah, it got worse and worse.

You know what? I've never, I tried watching, like, the first season, and I never got into it. You're in, like, the first season? I just, I don't know, there was like a kid in a dress and I said, this is some pedophile shit. And I turned it off. A little girl, you mean. Was the shaved girl?

That's a, that's a girl? Obviously a little girl, yeah. I thought that was a boy or something. I thought it was some transgender type stuff going on. Just a girl. Just a little girl wearing a dress. Is she still alive? Is she still on the show?

Still alive. Yeah. Still on the show, yeah. Well, the reason I didn't get into it, Dick, is that I go, I went, this is going to be one of these. things that goes for a thousand seasons and just keeps getting worse and worse. And I'm not going to, I've seen it happen with every show and I'm not going to do it. My problem, Dick, is TV shows that go past four seasons. That's it. You get four. And then you stop. Because it's never, dude, it's always diminishing returns with these fucking shows. You go, ah, this is

fresh and new. Here's what I'm worried about. Okay, remember when Rick and Morty first showed up? You're like, this is great. This is a great new thing. Yeah, and then they fired the man. They fired the man, which often happens. Yeah. Okay. And then it got, it turned into shit.

And now it turned into shit. Now you're almost embarrassed to watch the new seasons of Rick and Morty where you go, and now I'm into smiling friends. I don't talk about Rick and Morty anymore. Okay, but that's the point is that I'm watching smiling friends and I go, ha, are they going to do it to me again? Are they going to go past four seasons? Yeah.

And then they're going to start bringing on lady writers and a lady cartoon like character. and doing the same shit. And they're going to go, hey, uh, remember, uh, remember that fucking smile? What's the most, their little buddy or whatever? Remember Mr. Fra? Actually, their smart thing was they said we're never doing Mr. Frog again. They're like, that's it. We're done with it.

What? It's like, you got to bring back Mr. Frog. No, no, no, no, no. That's good. Because you end up bringing that shit back as a fucking crutch. And it's like, no, just leave it dead. The second Mr. Frog sucked. It was too soon.

Remember the Simpsons brought back Frank. Grimes. You had like a son so they could do another Frank Grimes episode. I didn't know that. Yeah, it's horrific. It's the worst thing in the fucking world. Because that's what happens when these shows go on too long. Is that eventually you're like, oh, man, I'm out of ideas. Let's just make the same shit we already made.

It's because they start listening to the fans. I'm like, oh, the fans really love Mr. Frog. Let's do another Mr. Frog. They do. Well, they do get into that. Let's do more predictable shit. Let's do more. You get into the Flandersization where all the characters have lost.

thing that was kind of interesting and creative about them and it's just kind of sunk in into shit. Some examples of shows. I love The Office. It turned complete shit after season four. Westworld started off incredible and they had no fucking idea what they were doing.

I don't know what was going on there. Dexter was riding pretty high. I think season four was the John Lithgow season. I'm pretty sure. That was the best one. That was the best one. And then immediately after, it's like there's nothing left here. Stuff like Walking Dead and then obviously, look, Simpsons, I'm going to say, managed to have like eight good seasons.

Okay. Well, actually, no. The first season of the Simpsons is not that good. Second season is okay. Seasons three through like eight. What do you mean the first season isn't good? He cuts the head off the statue? Is that in the first season?

And he sees his dad at the bachelor party? Simpson's roasting on an open fire. The Christmas in the middle of Santa's little helper. It's all whatever. Sounds great. No. The first season. sucks. But then the good seasons, you had like four straight good seasons. But then of course,

I feel like I'm Carl from WATP. I'm doing a Simpsons episode. But then, you know, it's like you're out of stuff to fucking do. How many times, here's the problem. You run out of like character interactions. It's like how many times can you do, oh, Homer and Marge's relationship is in trouble. It's like, well, now I would never believe it. Their relationship's been in trouble a million fucking times. Or like walking dead. It's like, oh, maybe the zombies are going to get them this time. It's like, no, they'll kill the fucking Asian guy and then ruin the show that way. Okay.

Yeah. Game of Thrones was fantastic. But then they just stretched it out too fucking long. They went to the, did you, were you a Game of Thrones guy? I don't watch any of this shit, man. How do you get into it and not like, how do you tell

that the shit is better shit at the beginning of the poop versus the end of the poop? It's just towards the end of the poop. It's just towards the end of the poop. You've already all the interesting stuff that could have happened. Like you're sick of eating poop? By the time you get halfway through the office poop,

or you're like, oh, man, this poop sucks. Meeting characters and learning about characters and finding out their quirks is interesting. But once all that, and like, again, why? Seeing relationship dynamics, because that's what a story is. A story is meeting a fucking character

and learning about the character. Okay. But once you know everything about the fucking character and you're like eight seasons deep, and you're like, well, I don't know. I think I know how this character is going to react in this situation. It's probably not going to be that fucking interesting. And then half the time, the show just get canceled without even fucking finishing.

Or they just fucking wrap it up. Game of Thrones are like, yeah, let's just do six more episodes to wrap it up. They didn't even wrap it up properly. So are you not watching Stranget Things? Is that what you're saying? Should I try? I mean, I have never watched more than one episode. And all I hear is everybody complaining about the fact that all the kids are

ancient now and they made them all gay. or at least one of them gay. There's a demon that rapes a kid in the first episode, I think. I saw that's true. I saw the clip. That's 100% a demon raping a kid. That was a demon raping a kid? It looked like it.

I saw, when I watched that, looked like a rape. A full-on rape happening. Now what's horrifying is you heard Netflix is going to buy WB? Yeah, that seems cool. Yeah, so we're going to get like a million new fucking TV shows that go on for 80 million. Did you ever try to get... What are you complaining about the slop did they give you? Just cut it off.

You just write three good seasons and then walk off into the sunset. Okay? Clone High had one good season and then they tried to bring it back and they gave it to some fucking millennial writers or whatever the fuck it was. Yeah. But there's more of the thing. You go, oh, maybe it'll get, maybe it'll be good. And it's never...

Simpsons is the fucking worst. Have you seen... Did you see the Simpsons promo for James L. Brooks's new movie? Okay, you know James L. Brooks has a new movie? out? No. I didn't. Okay. There's a new movie. This is the saddest fucking thing in the world. There's a new movie called... I doubt James L. Brooks

doing something is the saddest thing in the world. That's not what I'm saying is sad. Okay. What I'm saying is sad is that he made this movie about a young girl dealing... It's like a romantic comedy. I don't fucking know. And they made a promo

that Marge and Lisa walking out of the movie and talking about how amazing it is. And I went, dude, this is fucking shameless. This is the worst. Like, oh my God. This is what The Simpsons used to make fun of other people doing. It's literally Marge and Lisa being like, that was incredible.

I love Ella McKay. James L. Brooks is such an incredible writer-director or whatever. And I'm like, I can't believe this is real. He actually forced the Simpsons voice actors get in the booth and suck him off because this show is so dead that it's like, ah, who fucking cares? None of this matters. Yeah, that's true. So no TV show. Look, you get four seasons.

Even Breaking Bad. After Gus, it's like, who fucking cares? I never understood. After Gus, I was like, there's nothing here. Yeah, after Conky and Trailer Park Boys, that's probably the, we probably didn't need to see anymore after that. Hey, how are you coping with bubbles leaving the trailer park boys? Oh, he left? Oh, you didn't hear this news, huh?

No, did he, did he rape someone? Oh, yeah. Yes. I don't know the exact details, but he definitely raped at least like one person, if not, if not more. And he's not going to be on the trailer park boys no more. Yeah, I don't care. So again, if it was just four seasons, it would have been fine. Instead, it goes on for fucking ever.

But the Swayze Express was cool. I like thinking about it. I'll go watch the Swayze Express every once in a while. All right, fair enough. All I'm saying is most shows... I watch Countdown to Liquor Day. Wrap it up. Wrap it up, as they say.

Okay. Just figure it out. It doesn't need to go on forever. You can always make another show. This is not a meta problem. Constant new shows. You just want constant new shows. I don't want...

I don't want... I don't know, man. Like, there's certain things that I go, it's kind of nice that it's still around. Like, they always... always keep bringing back Aquitine hunger for us. And I'm like, eh, it's just never really gets back to the magic that it had at the time. No, that's also, that show got weird.

That show got weird. It's like, it can never recapture. When a show is like at its height, it's captured like a certain fucking zeitgeist. When the Simpsons was at his height, it was actually kind of weird and subversive. And Bart telling people to eat his shorts was like, whoa my God, America can't handle this or whatever. No, no, it wasn't. I was alive during the Simpsons in its heyday. That was not subversive at all for Bart to go eat my shorts.

The fucking president complained about it. That's why they did that whole episode. Who do you think the president was speaking for like weirdos? Like, oh, Bart Simpson's setting a bad example and blah. There's Bart Mania. People were doing the Bartman in the streets. It was pandemonium. No, it was not.

It was not subversive and all this shit you're saying. The Simpsons did offer, I think, This is like a YouTube commentary of the sin. It was, it really rocked middle America. I'm not saying it destroyed middle America. Okay. I'm just saying it offered something that at that specific period in time felt fresh and new. And you're never going to be able to recap that.

It's always. Yeah, well, it's, but you'd never seen adult animation like that on TV before. Yeah, the Flintstones and the Jetsons though. Flintstones was not very fucking edgy, man. What? Fred would go, boom. And conk Barney on the head and it would go like, woo, woo, woo, woo, who,

are you kidding me? You're right, it was pretty out there. Fred Flissor would smoke on television. He would light up cigarettes and do ads for... Only in the ads. Only on television. Yeah, only on television would Fred do that. Hey, Winston tastes good like a cigarette should.

That's subversive. And I'll always remember that because Fred Flintstone told it to me. Yeah. And a dream. Now they're doing vitamins. That's why. Yeah, that's my problem. TV shows that go past four seasons.

Are you just going to call it shows to capture the meta element? Or are you going to call it TV shows? It's not a meta problem. I'm literally talking about TV shows. There's never going to be a Friday night show again. We're moving to Thursdays. I mean, this is, for a lot of people, this is the last show. Just so we're fully aware.

I don't care. I don't care. We can move it to Thursday. I don't care. We can move it to Thursday. I don't care. But I'm just saying. I got stuff on Fridays I got to do.

So Thursdays is... Moving to Thursday. It's fine. The show will now be on Thursdays moving forward. I'm just saying. I don't think that's a huge... I don't think that's a huge problem. Maybe it'll be a new show for people.

Maybe they're Thursdays... A lot of people go out on Fridays. I know, but what you don't think is like... That phrase that you just said, I don't think it's going to be a big problem. That could be like the title of the story of your life, I feel like. I don't think it's going to be a big problem. Well, I got...

stuff I got to do on Friday, so moving the show to Thursday will make my life easier, okay? So we're going to do the show on Thursday. I'm just telling you. It's, for a lot of people, it's the last show today. So I want to make sure we're aware of that. It is not the last show just because we're moving it to Thursday.

That's so stupid. You're going to stop listening to your show because it's on Thursdays? Absolutely. Yes. Friday's like an unwind day. Your life is so detached from a normal person's life that If you can't see that, then that's proof. If Friday's your own wine day, congratulations.

The episodes already posted for you. On Wine, on Wine with the fucking episode. It's not the same. It's like when a movie comes on TV, you're like, I'll watch the movie on TV, but I'm not going to find the DVD of it and load it up because no one else is watching the DVD. Okay, well, I have a new Friday commitment. I'm just telling you. I'm very excited about.

And we're going to move the show to Thursdays. It's not a big deal. It is for a lot of people. it's the end. This is the last show. So we got to thank them for listening. If you're a listener on Friday, thank you so much for your support. Sorry to lose you, but

you know, things, we don't want to overstay our Friday welcome. Who knows? Maybe things will change, but right now I need Fridays off. Okay, my problem is Somalian shit talking. Here is, have you seen Somalians talking shit on the internet?

See that guy eating Somalian food? I almost brought that in. I said it looks like a gay guy tasting pussy for the first time. Did you see that? I almost brought in the problem of eating at a friend's house because that's what it reminded me of. And his mom cooks dinner and you got to be like, yeah, it's good. Yeah, it's real good.

Oh, yeah, here it is. I'm going to play the Somali video too. All right. Sorry, that's just the first thing that popped into my head because, man, he did not look happy. He does not look like a happy man What Somalian food tastes like There eat look at him

Look at them Look at the list Dude first of all I just want to say What's in the middle of the If you go to a guy's dinner And there's just a plate Of just beans

And that's it Like piled the fucking moon You're gonna have a bad dinner Like come on what is that Is that what those are beans I thought they were like worms I don't fucking know Or lentils or garbage

It looks terrible I don't know what they eat in Somalia I thought it was like Tapeworms from cow shit or something a big bowl of it. This is the mayor of... That it's just next to a big white bowl. Like, this is the worst part is like, not even the presentation.

Like, all this time white people have spent being like, you put a little piece of green thing on there. You cut up a lemon or an orange. You put it on, like a garnish. And then you have these countries that go, yeah, bunch of shit on a plate. Fuck it. Yeah, it's...

That's white culture. I want my little house. I want my little house. I want my little house. I want all my stuff lined up. It could be the same as my neighbors, but I want my own version of it over here. I want my own plate. I want my own fork.

I want my own napkin. But every other culture, especially, you know, every non-white culture is like, what? We have, here's bull. Everyone could use bull. Here's one fork. Everyone could use one fork. I'm just glad they didn't make a meat with his hands. Minneapolis mayor holding on.

Oh, yeah, Minneapolis mayor. For dear life. To show his solid. I'm going to hear you with showing how much we love Somalians. Yeah. Oh,

that's good. Oh, yeah. Delicious, man. I'll say the pro-level strat here, the pro-level strat is

the mixing your food around the spoon to try and draw the eye to the hand moving and not the face of him struggling to chew and swallow whatever slop they have fed him.

He's trying to Get that. He's identified a bad flavor and he's trying to mix it around and dilute it. Yeah, he's got to get the saliva in there. What is he? Now I want to know what he's eating. If anybody can let us know. Look at how happy this fucking

guy is. Yeah, he's like, Lago eat that beans. What did they call them in Black Hawk Down? Why do you take such a big bite? What'd they call who in Black Hawk Down? The Mogad, the Somalians. The Mogadishus? I don't

fucking, though. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's good. He's not swallowing any of it. He can't. He's like, oh, why did it take such a big bite? I thought this photo op was going to go swimmingly. This poor, beautiful white man, look what he's doing for a little bit of power.

A little bit of political power. Just eating literal shit. I mean, look how happy they are, though. They're like, look, he ate the food. He ate the food. He's one of us. There's a joke. They put shit in there.

They might have been fucking with him. Here's a video. Somalians are Somalian out on the internet because they're, they've been doing so much fraud, you know, and like... Dude, it's really bad. It's really bad. So everyone's sick of them, and they're, like, owning it, I guess. They're talking about Somali excellence. We rip off the white men.

Coming up with these really insane reasons why... Why they're so awesome. Why they're awesome and white people are just. jealous. This guy says whites are jealous. Cause, uh, they can't compete with Somali excellence. And here's this, here's the video of Somali excellence. It's, uh, soccer. Oh, yeah. UFC. Wow. Uh, dancing. Uh, mask off. Mask on. I don't know what that was. Bucking. Mask off. That's it. That was all of, wait, what do they do? So they have Mogadishu. They can play some sports, dance.

And then it says president. International court. What is? So you think because you're part of the international court that you're killing it? I don't know. Mask off. Mask on. I don't know what that means.

Fucking mask off. That means that's Somali excellence. Okay. Well, if Somali's so fucking excellent, why do you got to come here to take all the money from the fucking autistic kids program? Here's another one. This says our, this is our garbage as picky Trump's. said it awful, right?

It looks like a concentration. It looks like a prison right here on the beach. This is a beach in Somalia, I guess. One problem with this beach. I don't know if you could identify it just by looking at it. Yikes. Lock your...

Do boats have... Do boat doors have locks them on them? It's a beautiful beach. Everyone's having a good time. It's a great beach. I mean, it is pretty bad to take pride in your beach. It's like, well, you didn't make that. That was kind of just there. Your God didn't even make it. You don't even have

a fucking god. Here's the conservatives finding out Somalia's beautiful as hilarious. Here's a Melodish. Oh wow, they got sand. Running down. Incredible. Running down a hill. Wow. Freaking out.

That's beautiful. It actually looks awesome. I can't get that anywhere else. I would love to live there. If only it had zero Somalians there. So like what is What is like, you could win me over with Somalia if you're like, hey, here's like our, you know, here's our good food and our great hotels and our, you know, but no, you go, we got a boat. We got soccer. I'll read you some. Every country on earth has boats and soccer. What country doesn't have boats or soccer?

Here's some stats on Somalia that might win you over. 20 million Somalians live there. 70% or below the poverty line. That's $2 a day. that's the poverty line and that's the global poverty line 70 so they're poor even for the earth yeah that's pretty bad you know how dumb that is like America you're like oh man you're poor that's

that sucks there's a lot of things to contribute that but you're poor for like earth you're you really fucked up yeah but they're in the international court we saw that so that's useful uh their GDP is 650 bucks a person

it's pretty bad they could have I think they're one of those countries where it's like Disney paid more to acquire Star Wars than the gross domestic product of Somalia probably 20 men

yeah I think so they're the number one hungriest country on earth number one maybe they're actually hungry unlike us where we just say it they're actually hungry

yeah they don't have any fat black women there I don't think that's why when they get some beans, they pile them all up in a one tower and they go, look at all the beans we got. They never seen so many beans. We never seen so many. Under five mortality, one and eight children dies before the age of five. Oh, that's real bad. That's real bad.

That's horrible. That's like the worst. When it comes to like stats, I'm pretty sure infant mortality is like, uh, that's the, that's the, one that you judge. If there was like a shithole index, that would be the number one determiner of shit hole index. Like, we are not shithole country? You go, how's the informed mortality? How are the kids doing? They're mostly dead. A lot of them are dead. Yeah. Seven out of eight kids is a lot of kids. You don't need more than that. You can't take care of your kids? No. No, we have too much war and climate change. Oh. Well, Dick, they can't take

care of their kids. Here's the problem is all those kids are autistic, so they just stumble into traffic and die. That's the problem. We've got to get an autism treatment. Hmm. A hundred percent of the women have been genital mutilated.

100% of them have had... 100%. Wow. Yeah. Oh, maybe 99. Maybe a couple. Maybe a couple. Every once in a while they miss one. It's a Who's doing that to them? Who's doing all this goddamn... Just a guy.

Genital mutilating. Are the Jews doing it? Who's to blame for this? The genital mutilating. There's just a guy who's into it. It's his hobby. You go, hey, hey, you want me to mutilate your daughter? I'll do it.

I'm really good at it. All right. You really couldn't feed. Sometimes kids die. You couldn't figure out. Okay, you got the beautiful everything. You couldn't figure out like how to grow crops. But you had to cut everyone's clit off.

Well, imagine being a Somalian. Like, oh, I'm so glad my daughter survived the pestilence. Now I can cut her clitoris off. Thank God. Thank you. Oh, thank God, man. Yeah. What a country.

23% of the entire country has acute food insecurity. Like, they don't get, they don't give food. They can't eat. Yeah. A quarter. of the whole country. Where do they, did they live in slums?

Do they live, where are most these people living? They live in like little, they live in like, um, piles of trash. Right. They pile up trash and then they burrow in the trash

and they live there. Like Patrick Star. They have like a big pile of trash that burrow in. Yeah. It's just wild that we have basic agriculture. Like that like, pretty much everybody understands at this point. It's like we got all these crops that you can just grow kind of anywhere.

and uh you just got to you just got to like set aside a plot of land and then also and then you take care of it yeah you got to hire one guy to shoot all the guys you try to steal it seems to be the bigger problem is that the bigger problem is that really is that is that a problem i think i don't know i think anytime look i'm gonna say there are some guys in somalia who go hey what if we set up some infrastructure and for every one of those guys there's a hundred shitheads who go oh cool stuff for me to steal you steal and I can take the fucking tools and I can take the fucking, yeah. I can steal these seeds and eat the seeds. Yeah, exactly. These seeds are probably tasty. Yeah. So that's the problem is I'm sure there's like some well-meaning Somalians. They're like, ah, it'd be cool if we weren't living in shit, but I'm surrounded by idiots

who are dedicated to living in shit. A hundred thousand people are displaced by war every month. They're just having fun. That's the weird thing too is that then they have like fucking Yeah they always have like civil wars and shit And you're like three dollars guys just like all get together and just like start some farms And grow some crops so you're not hungry and your kids stop dying Yeah I don't know

The eighth poorest country not even the first poorest country So they're even bad at that being the poorest country Well that they're coming up in the world right They're not eighth poorest anymore because they took all our money and send it back. They used to be way lower, but then they figured out Tim Walls will just give you money if you say you're autistic.

Yeah. That's my problem. I don't know what it is about their shit talking specifically. It's like a mix of... Well, it's very ineffectual. It's like a mix of Indian and like black American culture. It's kind of like a

dickless version of American black culture. It's like what you have? It arouses contempt in me. Because I'm familiar. I'm kind of familiar with it, but it's like a shitty version of it. It's like an Indian version of black American, like, braggadocio and standoffishness. It reminds me of the Sopranos when AJ is all proud of how rich his family is.

And he meets an actual rich family. And his entire life is thrown a disarray. And that's Somalia. They go, look at how fucking great we are, and they're bragging about all this shit. You're like, yeah, but look out how the rest of us have it. And they're like, oh, I guess you guys do have way better stuff than us. The life expectancy is 55 years. Well, that's good for them.

You get off that fucking rock quicker than a... One in six children are child soldiers. Actually? Yeah. It's all like civil wars, right? In Somalia? I don't know. I don't know if you can call it a civil war, really.

There's nothing. There's no government to speak of. It's just anarchy. There's no bank. There's no banking system. Wait, is that true? So how does money work in Somalia? They have money transfers, but they have no central banking system.

So they can only access like other countries' banks. And that's just fucking bizarre. I don't know anything about Somalia, really. Yeah. Other than they all want to come here. Literacy rate is 20%. So, look to your left. That's not too bad, I would say.

That's higher than I would expect, actually. All right. 20%? 20% is higher than I would expect. It's pretty low. I figured you'd pick it up. For the eighth poorest country, the eighth poorest country, 20% of them are reading. That's not bad.

It was 50% during like black slavery times. It was 50% in America. Well, everything was better during black slavery times. We can't always use that metric. We all know those are the golden years of the world economy. It almost goes without saying it was better during slavery times. I think there would be more, I just think there would be more begging. Like, please don't kick us out of America.

Please, Somalia sucks. They'd be less, there'd be less like bragg it, though. Did you see in that case? But instead, they're like, white people are jealous. Like, man, you're like, I mean, I can't say, but if, like, if all the animals, escape from the zoo, I think it would look like this. Did you see the news story? So they're trying to lock up a bunch of the Somalians in Wisconsin who were doing all the fraud and stealing from the state. Okay. And they said, I got a good idea. We got to find a juror. They picked a black

lady juror because they thought she would be like sympathetic. They're like, well, she's black. That's close enough to Somalian or whatever. And they put $120,000 in a bag. And they're like, hey, it's a big bag of money. You should convince it. And they gave her like a list. They're like, know, just go in there and tell everybody that the prosecutor is racist, you know? Yeah. And then get everybody off on that. And I'm like, you guys are facing life in prison. And the most you could come up with is $120,000.

That's, and it's like four guys. I'm like, if you, you could have put $2 million in the bag and it would probably still be low. $120,000? Dude, they don't understand. She went to the court. And she's like, no, at all. She went to the court. She's like, yeah, the Somalians tried to give me $120,000.

and I also don't want to go to jail forever. Like that's the thing that she takes it and gets found out. She goes to jail forever. She's not with $120,000. You got to pay way more than that. They don't have the concept of... Oh, it apparently is Minnesota, not Wisconsin. A future version of them.

They don't have a concept of the future. Like, when they consider the future, to them, that's as though it's a different person that they're perpetrating a crime on, which they do all the time. So whenever they're thinking in terms of consequences, is it's, that's not me. I'm doing this too. That is another person in the future.

I've heard that theory. It's very interesting. Yeah. Okay, that's my problem. I want to see some study. There's just something about it. It's so annoying. Because they're just the worst.

They come from a place that's the worst and they made it the worst. Like, well, I think the problem you get into is every country does that. Every country wants to go, oh, you know, it's so great here. And you're like, you know, it's not that great. But they got to, you know, you got a, you know, you know. But it's good in some, like, okay. Like Venezuela, right?

Venezuela sucks. But it's because of communism. Like, it's because of insane, like, communist dictators. It used to be great. They had a ton of money. Communism took over and fucked everyone, right? Which country? Venezuela.

Venezuela. I still don't want them coming here, but you look at it and go, like, okay, yeah, I mean, that sucks for you. Somalia, there's no kind of, like, oh, that sucks for you. It's like, yeah, you guys, you just made a shit hole. Like, everything you do is stupid. There was no, there was no period of time where, like, you know, Somalia then fell into disrepair.

It's always been bad. Yeah. It's never was cursed, like, by a bad decision. It's just, like, there's no, like, federal reserve of Somalia. It's just like, yeah, you guys are, you're idiots. Everything you do is stupid. Does anybody, like, I've never, does anybody go there? Like, tourism?

Is there any industry to go to Somalia? No, right? I don't think so. No. Yeah. Well, I'm not going. Here's another thing I'm not doing, Dick. Dick, you ever get a cold?

Mm-hmm. And you go, man, you know, what I could use. I could use some cold medicine, some nasal decongestant. And, you know, I don't want anything too strong, so I'll get the, you know, the day quill, right?

I'll get dayquil. I'll get Sudafed, P.E. I'll get Tylenol, all cold. These like cough medicines, right? They get right off the shelf. Yeah. Did you realize that in 23, the FDA

officially said these are just placebos. They do absolutely nothing. What? If you are using any of these medicines

you're kind of an idiot but we can't stop them from selling them. What do you mean? All of, it's a, it's a placebo. Dayquil,

Tylenol cold, Sudafed P.E. and all the popular No, it's not. There's not. Fentilfendrine. No way.

There's no way. After 30 years of being sold on the show, in over $12 billion in revenue, the FDA has said, this is just a placebo, it does absolutely nothing. Now,

if you get the stuff behind the counter, the real shit, yes, but if you just get it off the shelf, you're completely wasting your time, and it does nothing for you. Fita, there's no way.

There's no way that's true. It's the greatest confirmed placebo scam in modern pharmacy history. There's no way Dayquil is a placebo. It is. That's what it is. It's, okay, phenylphenadrine. Hold on. I'm trying to get the fucking names of it or whatever. Say it slower.

Do you want me to spell it? Fenil fiendrine. Okay. Yeah. Placebo. Here, I'll get the study real quick. Okay. Yeah. Fenfend, this is from the Yale School of Medicine. Several weeks ago, a U.S. Food and Drug Administration advisory committee unanimously concluded that phenyl fendrine, an ingredient found in popular nasal decongestants such as pseudofed PE and DayQuil works no better than a placebo in treating cold and allergy symptoms. What? It's complete bullshit. It is like a complete waste of your money. Well, it's doing

absolutely, you're taking DayQuil? Yeah, all the time every day. Well, congrats. It's useless. There is no fucking way. It's been useless since 2023, so you've had two years to figure this out. So my problem is medicine that does nothing. This is one of many popular drugs that have been found to have basically No hepatitis B vaccine. Actual effect. Yeah, sure. Yeah.

I mean, here's the thing. Dick, it's been helping your cough or whatever because you go, ah, this will help my cough. You're getting the placebo effect. Do you really buy day? There's no way. There's no way dayquil and NyQuil are to do nothing. No.

NyQuil does do shit because NyQuil has all. the fucking drowsy whatever medicine shit in it. Dayquil is nothing. NyQuil is fine. You have got to be shitting me. Dayquil does nothing. I don't think it has any meaningful effects, whatever. Dayquil placebo.

I think it's just like complete nonsense. Because there's nothing. That's the only active ingredient. There's nothing else in there. Yeah, that's the good stuff. That's all you need. NyQuil is real shit. DayQuil is a joke. It's just like you take it and it's like, it doesn't, but

read the list again? What's a placebo? Of the, of the drugs? Just read it again. Yeah, read the, read the list of drugs again. It's phenyl fendrine, pseudafed PE, Dayquil. There is no fucking way that's a placebo. It's saying right here that it is. There is no, that's fake news. That's got to be fake news. Why? Because you've been taking it or all right here. I've taken it to my whole life. What am I taking then?

Nothing. It's nothing. It's just, they thought it helped your cold, and it doesn't. Okay. What? Do you know how much money I've spent on Dayquil? Well, yeah, it's a $12 billion fucking industry that doesn't actually, okay, fentanyl and the overlooked value of the placebo effect.

You're fucking kidding me. No, I'm 100% serious, okay? The FDA document reviewed. Evidence. Did RFK approve of this? Did he say, did he agree with this? I don't think he did. If you ever,

uh, again, it's, it's a placebo. They're saying if you took it, like they did studies. Basically, the reason you think it works is that time goes,

like time passes and you go, oh, I don't have a cough anymore. But the reason I don't have a cough like, like a half hour after taking it. Like, all right, I feel a little,

I don't feel like I'm, I feel a little better. I think it's just in your fucking, head, man. No fucking way. If this is true, I'm going to be seriously upset. All right here from Boston University, nasal and sinus experts says there's far safer things.

Okay. This phenylphandrine is in at least 250 different products, including Tylenol, Musinex, Benadryl, Sudafed, NyQuil, and others. The FDA has to vote whether or not to ban the ingredient because, again, it has no greater emphasis, it is no more effective than a placebo, meaning it does fucking nothing. Like, that's it. It's not, it's

like, it's not doing anything. All right? It was called a decongestant, but if you look back at guidelines from decades ago, there's no evidence it worked and there's never been, it's just never been proven to do anything. People just took it and I go, well, I feel better. So they're just selling

DayQuil to, I take DayQuil and I call all the time. Well, the NyQuil is good. I'm telling you the NyQuil is good. Yeah, but they sell them in a pack. I know, because they're tricking you into buying 50% of a thing that does fucking nothing. If 50% of a thing that actually does do something.

I have DayQuil pills like all over the house. Well, stop taking them. They're fucking useless. Well, they're definitely useless now, thanks to you. I'm sorry. I didn't know you were a big Dayquil guy. I didn't even, I thought we'd talk about some of the other drugs. I get sick all the time.

Yeah. Okay, well. So there's nothing I can do. I'm just sick. You have to get the shit behind the counter. There's like there are decongestants. I don't want to deal with those stupid chicks behind the counter. Well, that's the only way.

The shit they sell in the front, the day, cool, they sell in the front is completely fucking useless. Oh my God. So you've probably been sick your whole life, taking a drug that does nothing and wondering why nothing is getting better. Everything gets better. It gets better for a little bit. And then I got to take more. But it's all in your head. Fuck.

Does it do anything bad to you? No. But it's, how do you know? No, it doesn't do anything bad. So it's just chemicals that I'm eating for fun that do nothing? Yeah, I guess they just thought phenofendrine was a decongestant, but it just doesn't decongest fucking anything. Like they did studies or whatever.

You know, they eventually test this stuff. I don't know the exact study they did. But they found, hey, there's a here from the National Institute of Health, they're saying, again, randomized controlled trials. published between 1998 and 2023, comparing oral phenylfendrine with placebo and standard care,

we found no difference in the effects of the drug as compared to a placebo. If you're trying to deal with, and again, what are you taking it for? Like a cough or something?

Everything, dude, if I'm having a bad day, I take it. I pop some day quill. If I'm hung over, I'll drink some day quill. But that's the thing is it doesn't actually do

anything for nasal de-cuggestant. congestion. So I don't know if it does something else. I'm so upset by this problem. What am I supposed to do if I get sick? Nothing. Just sit there. No, you got to get something stronger or take NyQuil and fall asleep. Wow. Okay. Man, I feel so stupid. Like, I would get up and go like, oh, man, I got to get this. I got to take a day quill. And I look at the bottle, too. I'm going to get the cheap day quill, this, this finil ophedrine over here. Here's some other drugs to possibly avoid. You ever have grandpa say, oh, I got to take my osteobiflex, my shift move three to repair my arthritis, all these arthritis medications?

No, I don't have any of that, no. Well, regardless, no meaningful benefit versus a placebo. Yeah. You ever hear anybody tell you, you got to take echinacea, echinacea, if you want to prevent a cold? No, never heard that. Trials, no meaningful advantage over a placebo. Am I taking Dayquil and no one else is?

I'm not taking Dayquil. I always knew Dayquil did nothing because they always said like, yeah, you can take Dayquil, but it doesn't... Yeah, I remember them saying, they're like, there's nothing in it. Like NyQuil works. Dayquil's like a joke. I thought there's like science. No. Why do they put it in the

medicine place then? Because it makes you feel better, I guess. Why do they put it in the medicine place? There's a lot of shit in the fucking medicine place that doesn't do anything. Why is that allowed? That's what I'm talking about. Medicine that doesn't do anything is the problem. That's what I'm trying to bring up. Is that it's just...

Dude, I am... I feel stupid and someone should have to pay for this. I'm fucking pissed. I'm sorry to break it to you. How much day cool do you have in the fucking... I've probably spent at least $5,000 on dayquil. I'm sorry, dude. And the worst part is, is like, I've been sick, and I'll go drive to CVS to get it, and I'll hate it.

But you're wasting more time getting useless to egg wheel. Yeah, but it's just miserable. Like, I'm like, oh, God, I feel so bad. I've got to get some day quill. Well, now I almost wish I didn't say anything because apparently the placebo effect was working a little bit for you, or you're like, hey, at least it's doing something. Maybe it was just kind of naturally, like, ebbing and flowing. Yeah, maybe it was just naturally clearing up or maybe just getting out of the house and moving around made it better. I am so fucking pissed off.

I'm sorry. Are you, are you, are, is what you saying accurate? Bro, I, I, yeah, look it up. I've looked up like a million times. I'm not looking it up. I'm not looking it up. I'm not looking it up. I'll be too pissed off if I look it up. The FDA seeks to remove oral.

I'm going to kill the CEO of that. Who makes dayquil? What company is it? The FDA was almost going to get rid of it, but then, you know, they're like, well, you know, stupid people take it and it makes them feel better. So they left it on the show. Well, because we don't know that it's not. They said, well, if it makes stupid people happy, why would we get rid of it? It doesn't make me happy.

I thought it was supposed to help. You're not a little bit happy when you get a cold. And you go, oh, thank God, I bought that day quill. Now I'll be good. You're a little bit happy. I am happy. Yeah, I'm fucking psyched, man. Fucking day quill.

Thank God I got this day quill. I'm glad I planned ahead. I don't know why it's, I don't know why it tastes like shit and it's orange. It must be part of the chemical that makes it work. See, that's the funny thing is that it tastes like chemicals. So then that's probably the placebo effect there. You're like, well, it kind of tastes like chemicals. So it must do something.

And my wife doesn't, my wife never takes it. And she takes like Mucinex. I'm like, what an idiot. Mucinex doesn't do shit. And meanwhile, Mucinex is fine, I think. Musonix actually does do shit. Well, it doesn't, it just says it's an expector it. Yeah.

Which it does. Well, I mean, I don't know. I'm fucking, what do I know? You've got to be fucking kidding me. I'm really, I didn't, I didn't come into this knowing you were a big day quill head, you know? I just thought this would be... I thought everyone knew this, though, because they always say, like, ah, DayQuil's really weak. Who always says NPR says that?

What do they say? I don't know. I just remember, like, you know, being like, oh, you got a cough? Don't take DayQuil's not going to do anything. You got to take, like, NyQuil or something else. This is the kind of stuff we can be learning about instead of the Holocaust. Does DayQuil work? No.

You know how they always told you to take Omega-3 fish oil pills to prevent heart attacks? I take those too. Yeah? No outcome. benefit versus placebo. Well, that's like a vitamin, though. The vitamins, they always say, yeah. The fish oil, the fish oil could be useful for something else, but in terms of

prevent, they always say, oh, if you're worried about heart attacks, you got to take fish oil. Yeah, but it doesn't say, on the bottle, it doesn't say anti-heart attack pill. It just says fish oil. It does. Half of them say it's good for your heart or whatever the fuck. No, it just has that, it just has that dark, it just has that, like, old-timey looking tint, brown, and then the yellow wrapper.

It says fish oil on it. Sometimes it says good for healthy heart heart health or whatever the fuck. But no one's taking fish oil because they're like oh fuck I'm having a heart attack. Some people are. Some people I'm taking naked because I'm having a cold right now and it's like 30 bucks so you're telling me they're just selling me

a bunch of garbage suspended in a solution that tastes like shit for $30 for nothing and I've been getting scammed for 30 years. Is that how much you're paying for dayquil like 30 bucks a bottle? Yeah it's like 30 dude even the CVS brand is expensive. Oh yeah you should

stop buying that stuff. Let me see there's like an alternative. Really fucking pissed. Really pissed off. Yeah, all of these are bad, unfortunately. Basically, anything that contains, and Dayquil is like the biggest one. So anything that contains that fentanyl fenidator, whatever the fuck it is, is just basically completely useless. Yeah, that's all, yeah.

I mean, again, it's Tylenol cold. It's fucking, it's the big ones. It's pseudafed PE and Dayquil. It's all useless. Wait, pseudephedrine? Is that on there? Sudafed P.E. A pseudofed.

I have Spuders. I didn't even know the box. You know what? I think I got Sudafed P.E. recently. I didn't realize it was the same shit. So I got tricked, too. Unless I got the right. There's a couple different versions.

Another one I had here was Tylenol for chronic back pain. Does not work. Don't take Tylenol for your back pain. And Ginko Biloba. What do you mean it doesn't work for back pain? Why? It's just if you have chronic back pain, Tylenol has no meaningful benefit versus a placebo.

What does you get like an arrow stuck in your back? It doesn't affect back pain. It doesn't affect chronic back pain. Maybe if you have like specific types of back pain, but chronic musculoskeletal pain. Oh, okay. Even though they'll tell you, oh, take Tylenol for your back pain. No, that's dumb. That's obviously dumb.

That's very dumb. And ginkgo baloba. Stupid. Which many people have said, oh, it'll help your memory. and it stops dementia, no benefit versus a placebo. And again, these drugs, billions upon billions in wasted dollars on a drug that does nothing. The estimated waste from Dayquil, $12 billion. Bro.

I am so upset. Well, I mean, now you know. Isn't it better you know now? That's not enough. That is not enough. I'm going to go to CVS. After the show's done, I'm dragging one of the pharmacists over the counter, and I'm going to beat them to death.

Well, don't you think they should tell you, like, when you're buying it? I'm going to beat them until candy starts coming out of them. Shouldn't, like, something pop up on the register? Like, hey, tell them that, by the way, the FDA is found. It should say not, it should say placebo. If it's not proven, it should say placebo on it. Every chiropractor should have placebo stamped on their forehead. It's basically, yeah, it's, I mean, it's bad.

I don't know why they're still selling it. You'd think if you found out your drug doesn't do anything, you'd be really ashamed and you would like take it off the market. Why isn't anyone talking about this? Why are they talking about like fucking Somalia and whatever? Why are they talking about trans women playing volleyball, but they're not talking about you're getting fucked by Dayquil? Well, again, this came out in 2023,

and I guess nobody talked about it. We didn't really hear about it. How did it just come out in 2023, though? I'm saying it was never proven. If it came out in 2020, that it's bogus, that means that they never proved in the first. Did they ever prove it in the first place?

No, they just kind of assumed it was helpful, you know? They're like, yeah, it's probably good. I mean, look, I mean,

this is good. We learned now we know. Again, I always knew DayQuil. I'm like, now I know it's completely bullshit. Why did you know? Why did you know that?

I just remember, like, I think my dad being like, eh, if we got a cold, that Day Quill doesn't do anything. You know? Your dad just threw that out.

Yeah, he was like, yeah, from a, well, you can buy it separately. You don't have to buy the two pack. You do, though. No, you don't. You can buy the Day Quill and the Night Quills separately. You get a deal, though. You get a deal. It's not a deal.

It's a scam. It's literally just a scam. Hey, if you buy this useful thing, I'll give you a free fucking bucket of dog shit. Oh, cool. Awesome. What a deal. God fucking damn it, dude. Well, now you know, now next time you get sick, you can get something.

that actually works. Which is what? What works? Well, that's what I was trying to figure out. You got to get whatever that behind the counter. It's nasal decongestion is what you're trying to get, right? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So, yeah, you got to get any other active ingredient that isn't phenyl fendrine. You have to get a, I figure what the good one is. The one in the spray. You got to get that nasal spray shit. I have that. That works. Like aphrine.

Yeah, that's... You get addicted to that, though. It's not good. It's not good for you. Well, you can't get addicted to the dayquil because there's fucking nothing in it. So that's one of the benefits. This whole time, you know, I knew deep down, I knew there was something wrong with it because I was like, man, you can just take as much of this as you want and there's no downside.

You can't like possibly overdose on take-well. It doesn't really, yeah, you can't get addicted to it. It doesn't really say it just like only fixes this. It's the only drug. Wow, what a wonder drug. It's incredible. And the whole time you've just been drinking bad tasting orange liquid for no reason. Dude, I feel raped.

I feel like. I mean, you kind of... What's the company that... I've never... I've never talked to anybody who's like, I'm a DayQuil fiend, you know. Well, because I get sick all the time. So I'm like, all right.

DayQuil time, baby. I gotta go. Sometimes I stock up. If I notice I'm out of DayQuil, I'll grab someone. But you never once were like, well, maybe I should look up what the most effective fucking thing is. You just said DayQuil?

Well, it's the most popular one. It says it's got the commercials. NyQuil I know works. So why not? DayQuil does work. See, I think that's how they get you, is you go, well, NyQuil works. Why would DayQuil not work? Motherfucker, man. I'm going to go to, I'm going to go to CVS and throw

orange paint on the dayquil stuff. Or a different color paint. I'll paint swastikas on all the Dayquil. So to show how upset I am, because I hate to show that I feel the same way about Dayquil that people feel about Nazis. I mean, I do feel like people should know. because it's awful when you're sick you want to get medicine that works.

Imagine you're spending money for nothing. Like that's kind of, it's kind of evil in a way. It's straight up evil. What do you mean, kind of? It's like really bad. We were in Japan. I got sick in Japan.

We went to Japan. I got sick in Japan. And I was like, oh, man, I feel sick. Let's go to the drugstore. I can pick up some dayquil. My wife goes, they don't have those drugs here. And I was like,

oh man, it must really suck to be sick in Japan because they don't have fucking life-saving day-quoise. And I've always thought they've been like, man, that's rough. I'm so glad I don't live in Japan where you can't get that delicious day-quil to get you through the day.

They don't have these life-saving drugs like suit of fucking fiddle dog, whatever you call it. Food alone. Yeah. Oh, man, that sucks for them. Good thing I live in the US of A where I can get as much day quills as I want. Where I can be lied to and taking advantage of it every turn.

Well, Dick... Who's behind it? Who's behind this? I don't know if anyone's behind it. It's just, you know... Can you look up the early life of DayQuil? Can you go to Wikipedia? Look up early life. Maybe I can look up the early life of Dayquil.

Look up... Is it Quillstein? Heinz Hammerstein of Walla Walla Washington. Okay, Vicks Dayquil, here we go, has been going since 1974. It's the Vicks corporation. Fucking cocksucker Vicks. Vix doesn't do shit either, right? Or does it? The Vix Vapo rub?

Yeah, that doesn't do shit. I don't know. I should have known. I should have fucking known. Man. What a, what a, what a mind fuck. I mean, there might be, is there acetaminifin in it as well? Yeah, there is a Cedaminophen. Yeah, but that's a little. That's not shit.

That's like, no. That's like in. Again, the whole thing, the major fucking thing, the whole point of it was the fentanyl Endrine was like, hey, that's what you're getting. That's what you're here for. If you're wrong, man, if you're wrong, it's your ass. I'm just telling you what I'm looking up here. Apparently, Dayquil cough maybe has a different. That's Robitussin.

I know. I know Robitusson does something. Yeah, Robitusson works. Just get the tussin. I don't want to get high. I just want to be fucking de-suggested. It's fun. All right.

I know that's fun. Medicine that does nothing. God damn it Dick learned a little something today My last problem is pet residue Like when you pet your dog and then you have your hand You're like ugh, it's fucking Got a gross film all over it

Like even when there's never a time When you pet your animal When you pull your hand away and it's just like your hand Like you touch another person If you touch like your wife Or your child or whatever You pull your hand away, it's fine But if you touch your dog or your cat

You pull your hand away and it's like But you don't really pet your wife significant others the way you would pet a dog. Not like that, but definitely more than I pet the dog. Yes. Sure. I guess the different kind of petting. I definitely don't bet my significant other like I bet the dog.

That's right. Do you have a, how do you deal with dog hair? You get a big dog hair problem? I gave up. I don't care. It's like, yeah. I mean, you have a white dog. Yeah, my wife just like, she cleans it up when she can and just,

and complains the whole time about how I don't ever clean it up. That's how I figured out. Well, I mean, everything, when you got a white animal, if you have any, at one time I had a black futon. That's why I have a white couch and a white rug. Yeah, I got a black futon and I immediately had to throw it out. I went, well, that was a complete waste of everyone's time. Yeah, my cats, they shed, man.

I got a fucking cat hair everywhere. But it's that feeling when you touch them, you're like, ah, you get your hand away. It's like, I don't know if I'm necessarily. experiencing that. It's fucking gross. Maybe your dog is just secreting more than the average dog. They all do that.

Every animal I've ever touched. It's all this residue all over my hands. Some dogs are a little slimier. Yeah, I get what you're... Yeah. It feels like my hand is swollen almost. Well, okay, here's the thing is like,

you know, I got cats. They're not running around getting sweaty all day because they're inside. You take the dog outside. Dogs don't get sweaty, you retarded asshole. That's like a fifth grade thing that you learn about. dogs. They sweat. They pant.

That's why they're panting so much. They don't sweat. They don't have any sweat glands at all. They got sweat glands in their tips of their toes, not in their body. They don't sweat out of their fucking body. Jesus Christ, everyone knows that. Then what's on their skin? Fur? I don't know about this. I hear you typing it up.

Dogs don't fucking sweat out of their fur. Primarily through their paw pads and nose. They don't sweat out of their fucking fur. Primarily. That doesn't say exclusive. it all out of their fur or else they'd all be walking around looking like horses they'd be drenched all right they'd be sweating all the time i never had a dog i don't know what a dog does you've never had a dog no i never had a dog what do you mean no i never had a dog like it's obvious

i had a cat i'm a cat gay even as a kid not every kid has a dog yeah but why not i don't know I didn't want the cat either when I was a kid Boy had a cat Did you ever ask your parents For a dog No I never had much of an interest in dogs Why not?

I'm not a dog guy Because dogs are like Dogs are clinging Man they jump on you all the fucking time Yeah it's cool Knock you knock you over Yeah I wasn't a dog guy

I didn't like dogs as a kid What about now I like dogs But again When dogs are like all in your business and like running up to you and knocking you over and shit. It's like, yeah, this is fun once in a while.

Not all the fucking time. Well, there's like a film all over, even like hampsons. Also, my buddy had a dog with a huge fucking dick that was always hanging out and that dog would come running towards you and like, get that flopping dog weaner out of here. I was like, oh my God, this fucking dog.

And that was the worst. He had a dog with a huge fucking dick that was always sticking out. And he'd go over his house and the dog would come running up to fucking greet you and you're like, get af of me. No. How huge was the dick? It was like, it was like a pretty big dog dick, man. Like bigger than a person's dick? I'd say it's on average with a, I don't know. To a kid, it seemed like a large dick. I was a little kid at the time and a dog's running around with a big dog dick. All right. And I said, that's a pretty big

dick on that dog and he just comes running over and his dick flopped. Everyone's like, I don't want this dog and his dick touched me? Get this dog out of here. Yeah, no one wants that. No one wants that. Wow, why would the dog do that? Was he molesting the dog? Your friend? No, he was excited. He was excited

to see people. But for some reason? I guess. I don't know, man. He just always had a big fucking dog dick hanging out. And I remember being disgusted watching that dog run around the house. This dick flopping everywhere. Yeah. I mean, that would be pretty disgusting. I was like, this is fucking

gross get a different dog what's wrong with that fucking dog uh anyway so yeah i was never a big dog guy did you guys do anything with that dog what's going on? No we didn't do anything with the dog's thing was it new to do they have balls too i don't know i don't know i don't remember seeing balls on it you're acting like you don't have a crystal clear picture in your mind of the dogs i don't know if the dick was always out i just remember that dog running around

with its dick hanging out and me being like, what is wrong with your fucking dog? I don't want to play with your fucking dog. His dick's hanging out. Wow. That guy, whatever happened to that guy. And then we had to take turns sucking off the dog. Like, where do you want the story to go? Okay? That's all. There's nothing happens. Sounds like that's probably what was happening. He had a dog with a big dick. And I remember being grossed out by that thing running around. Well, that's the bottom line. I remember the first time I saw my cat's dick and I was like, holy shit. Cats have dicks? Yeah.

They're very good at hiding them. Well, yeah, I guess. One time I was petting my cat's belly, and I'm like, ah, this guy loves belly robes. This guy loves belly robes. And I looked down and I go, are you getting a fucking boner from this? This has completely changed my perception of giving you a belly rub. Don't get a fucking boner from this.

His little cat dick was hanging out. So now every time I give a belly robe, I'm like... Did you see the barbs on the cat? Cat dick? Yeah, I did, actually. I could see the little, I could see the little barbs. I bet you got a good look at those. I could see it had little like,

little fucking, yeah, barbs on it. Really? Yeah. How big with barbs? It just looks like spiky. It looks like a spiky dick.

It's got like little spikes. Huh. Like, if you have to compare it to something, what does it look like? Like a pencil eraser with little spikes coming out of it. I don't fucking know, man.

Spikes. Like spikes. What do you mean? Spikes. Like little, tiny like raised like spiky bits. Like where? All around it. All on the whole thing.

Like a texture. On the whole cock? Yeah, the whole cock. Really? And I've only ever seen it once. And I'm now, I'm trying not to look for it again, because I never want to see it again. You were touching your, uh, your cat in the stomach and it's, uh, I was rubbing his belly. Yeah. And his, his dick came out.

Because normally he hides it. Normally it's like in a sheath or something. Was he, was he like putting the moves on you? Like, hey, what's going on? He was, he was definitely having a good time. Is this after you stuck the cuttip in its anus? This was before, before. I've never stuck a cuttip in that cat's anus.

Or any cat's anus for that matter. Anyway, I've seen the, I saw my cat's dick and I was like, ah, it kind of ruins the magic of having a cat. What's going on in your cat house over there? kind of ruin the magic. You're like, ah, this little thing that loves me forever, and it's got a fucking cat dick, hang out. What's going on? What can you do?

What can you do? Well, stop doing that stuff. I'm rubbing his belly. He likes belly rubs. He doesn't always get a fucking, one time he got an erection from it. I don't know. He clearly likes them. Maybe he saw something in my eyes that one time.

Oh, man. He's neutered, though. So he doesn't know what's going on. He doesn't know what's going on. on now. Okay, well that's my problem. Good problem. Pet residue. Pet residue. I stole that from one of the rhymes. I forget what's going on. Pet residue and big old dog dicks. Okay, uh, the problems

are pet residue, Somalians talking shit, Somalian shit talking, uh, drugs that don't work. Unbelievable. Drugs that don't work. And, um, what's your other one? Uh, TV shows with more than four seasons. Ah, TV shows. More four seasons. Okay, I think, I'm gonna try. I think I could listen to voicemails again, though. Okay.

Let's give it a shot. I just had to reactivate our voicemail number. Does that mean we have a backlog of a thousand? No, not really because when you stop playing them, people stop calling, and then our voicemail got deactivated somehow, so I don't know. Well, I'm going to play some of them. This is a notice to our viewers that the show is moving to Thursdays, and the voicemail line has been reactivated.

If you're a Friday, if you're a Friday, F-sler, then we're going to miss you. We're sorry. There's just no more Friday show for you. Thursdays are going to be even better. Oh, okay. There's a big Thursday energy coming that people are not ready to handle. Thursday, like, must-see TV. Thursday is like, I'm ready to party.

Friday, you're like a little tuckered out. But Thursday, there's still a little light in your eye. and a sparkle in your step. Okay, okay. Maybe. Friday, all the cool people are out. But Thursday, all the cool people are in. Yeah, they're in and they're ready to party.

We got to find somebody who's also... I guess everybody streams at 6, though, so it doesn't work. I wish there was somebody... Like a leading? Yeah, I wish there was someone streaming before us. Okay. Josh Denny was. We could talk to him and get him to do it again.

But I think that shows on hiatus or something. I think that shows on hiatus. I don't want to get somebody. to do something. I want somebody already doing it. Like, you know. There aren't. Yeah, well, yeah, okay. We'll figure it. Here's the thing. I'd like to replay the people that, like, the comedy people.

We need, like, more of them. More comedy people. So, like, rope in. That's, that's the thing that I'm saying. We should have an entire block of shows. And then after this show, we could have the after show where we talk about the show. And you won't be there. But, you know, fans of the show. Different stuff. Different stuff. Okay, whatever.

Well, there could be, it would be cool if this show led into another show, and then I could jump on that show, and join the fun. I love to jump on a show. You could do it all day. I could do it all day. You know, what do you know about? You seem to, like, have

the most middling bullshit knowledge about everything, and you're not good at any of them. Like, I'm sitting here thinking, oh, he has to know something about computers. No, you're a fucking moron. You don't know that RAM changes. They update that shit every fucking couple years, you moron. You know that?

Idiot. Get your head out of your ass, video. God damn it, piss me off. Yeah, okay. So because I edit videos, I got to keep track what's changed in with fucking computers. I'm not into computers. I think you should know. I'm not into the technology aspect of editing video.

I'm into the, you know, artistry of getting a great clip together. whatever. But, uh, okay. I don't know, man. I'm still, I could use Photoshop 3.0 and have a good time. Uh, okay. Here's another one. I'm sorry I didn't know RAM changed. Yeah, I just got a notification, uh, just now on my phone just sitting on my couch that, uh, something biggest problem in the universe related just popped up on YouTube. So I clicked on it, uh, Gene, maybe if an episode came out early, and it's just fucking Vito playing Resident Evil Village. Oh, yeah. That was pretty good.

The live stream and it's fucking labeled the biggest problem in Resident Evil. Jesus fucking Christ. What can I say? Like, Vito, just fucking, just go away, dude. This has just been this slow descent into you Just fucking this brand up It's like some weird It's like some weird Twilight Zone

Like Maddox shit That's just been getting worse and worse Everybody likes video games Yeah, but you fucking baits switched them How is this going on? How are you allowing this To happen? Is it just 50s? It was Halloween. We played a spooky video game on Halloween It makes perfect sense

The buck's going on over there. Yeah. Sorry. So you clicked on it and you said, oh, this isn't something I want to watch. And then you clicked off. Oh, my God. Free content. How old are my emotions?

You're playing with my emotions. It was a good time. Okay. Vito, just to be clear, when I commented on your tweet that Mom Donnie's second cousin, you said, oh, that's his aunt. I thought that you were making a joke that he was totally inbred. That's why I said it was an underrated tweet. Okay, this is ancient. Thank you.

Thank you. Most recent tweets about it. That's clearly not the case. You're just retarded. Okay. Okay. That's fucking ancient. Underrated tweet.

Underrated tweet. You get another one for me? Hey, dude. Hey, Vito. The biggest problem in the universe is when your toilet paper unplies itself. Like you go to grab a sheet and it splits in half and now you've got like two sheets of toilet paper that are all super thin and you can't use them. Also, Vito, when it comes to stocks, sit and stay, make it pay. When it comes to what?

Stocks. Sit and stay. Yeah, no, that's a good point. That's very true. Vito, you probably solved by the bidet. Guy calls you a name. Okay. Okay.

They did make a movie called Bicycle Men, or rather it was called Bring In Brudge. Joseph Bordenloy basically rides around on his stupid metal bike, like, trying to be a badass. And you know how, like, in the Vast and the Furious movies, they're like, yeah, I got like a 76 Dodge. And it's got a 6-liter heavy engine or whatever. Yeah. In this movie, he's like, yeah, man, I got a Schwinn. No fucking way. Not a geared bike

Like all those other Pleasers Yeah no It's entirely late Premium Rush One second premise Oh man I'll check it out

That sounds terrible I have no idea what that was about Bicycles There's a bicycle movie Like Fast and Furious called Premium Rush that guy's saying Oh yeah I know Premium Rush Why do I know Premium Rush

Isn't that the bicycle racing movie That's what he was saying Yeah Yeah It's like a famous movie Or am I thinking of running away You just said you didn't know it And now all of a sudden you're fucking

No no it's that thing I had to watch that in film class It's like a bike racing movie Do you mean gay class? I also had to watch it in gay class They taught it in both classes Interestingly I went to gay class

And I said I've already seen this Oh great Not again Ooh, you're spicy And that's I'm the teacher of the bicycle class doing that Okay Hey Dick, hey Vito

Dick, you are completely wrong Vito is 100% correct The show should be called The Benjamins No, thank you cleaner It makes more sense And people will start saying

It's all about the Benjamin's themselves They don't need the show to be called that Okay It's like Hanging with Mr. Cooper. May too long of a name. It's been Mr. Cooper. No, it shouldn't have been Mr. Cooper.

I think he's joking, though. Go fuck yourself. I'm saying, like, sometimes you want a clean, simple name. Exactly. Hanging with Mr. Cooper. Mr. Cooper. Friends. Seinfeld.

It should have been called the Chronicles of Seinfeld. Chronicles of Seinfeld. That would have been way better. Should have been called What's Seinfeld doing? It should have been, uh, what's the deal? Seinfeld. What's the deal? You know, he never famously, never really said what's the deal. He's, I'm sure that Seinfeld has said, what's the deal with one point in his life? I'm sure he said that. I'm sure he said it in his life, but it was never like a trademark of his standup that people made it out to be.

It's like when S&L would make fun of Seinfeld, they would start going, what's the deal? And then everybody for some reason made it like that was Seinfeld's thing. Well, yeah, because his act is just saying that in a different way. Yeah, sure. Yeah, I guess. Yeah. So it's like, that's why it's making fun of it.

But it's more he would say like, you ever notice, you know, it would be a sign. Or something. You never notice. Like, so I was on the bus and I look at this guy and he's got two socks. And I think, how could someone wear it up and wear two socks? You know, it's the same thing as

what's the deal with two socks? It's all the same thing. went looking for my stapler couldn't find it went to Staples Hello It was in my balls What's a stapler doing in my balls

Good old Seinfeld That was a good one Uh Yo hey Dick and Vito I thought it was so fucking funny Listening to you guys Dissect Hassan Piker Fucking with that dog

Like abusing his dog Like It's a bad guy It's so clear that he fucked In the head Because he's missing the complete point, which is that it's abuse free to keep your fucking dog in one spot for four hours, right? Forget how you did it, right?

Yeah. The fact that you want him to be in one spot and not let him around at the house for that. Yeah, fuck. This is an old one. Dude, people are still calling it. We stopped doing voice bills. He tried to argue that, like, it's a certain breed of dog that just wants to be in one spot for six hours. And I'm like, I don't think that's true, man.

I've never heard of that. No, that's no living thing wants to be in a. Little thing like that, man. And DayQuil works extremely well. That's what I've heard. Dude. Go throughout your DayQuil. You know, and Al, so I'm curious.

Vito, what's your defense for his son and his dog? I'm sure you have one. You fucking retard. It's the teacher of the bicycle class. Called in. The bicycle clips. Ooh, we're going to watch a movie. It's about bicycles.

They're getting too. It's getting too old. All right. We'll save some of those for the next time around on Thursday. Guys, calling with your Thursday voicemails. Everyone calling and leave a voicemail. Or else I'll kill myself. That's what's important.

Guys, don't forget to check out the bonus episode at patreon.com slash biggest problem. And vote on all the problems at biggest problem. I'm going to read these superchats. Dick, how does that sound? Great. Cameron for two. Does Thursday show's me no more PCA appearances? I'm sure we can work around it.

Johnny, they have a four-hour show? I mean, I don't. I've told them a couple times. I can't listen to a four-hour show. Do a four-hour show. No, no. I'm sorry, man. That sucks. Johnny Rockin for 10.

Sucumfort poop ass, back the maniac on Fund My Comic. Is that Fund Mycomic.com? It's fuck my cock. It's a urethral insertion slash comics. The maniac number two currently will. from Fund My Comic. Lawrence Devaney for two Australian. Now, Vito, a victor should not only leave a road for their enemy to retreat by.

They should pave it. The Romans had a name for this road. The Golic Way. Totally not referring to anything at all here. Got it. Balder for five. Just wasting money to tell Vito, he sucks. I hate you and everything bad currently happening to you is your own fault.

Come for a Poo-A-Pas. That's not the real balder. Oh, okay. It's a fake ball, there. I can't tell the difference. Cardinal Bird for 670. Vito stacked so many Ws this week. He got first, second, and third.

He took up the whole podium. Just I've on for five says, I see people saying Vito one. I guess he finally delivered the hard copy comic. Well done, buddy. I knew it wasn't really a scam. Massachusetts man for 10. Well, Vito stock is up. Dick, tell Vito, you guys are friends.

Yes, we are. Buttonhole for five. Vito banned my main account for making fun of him. Vito puts the hippo and hypocrite and the cow in coward. V-I-T-O equals vigorously ingesting treats often. No, the hippo one was, you should have stopped right there. Hippo and hypocrite. That's a lot of these online insults, it's good, and then they add in more, and you're like,

that's not how it's supposed to, it's not a writer's room. It's not like brainstorming. You know, he paid $5. He's got all those characters. he's got to use them. He's got to get it all in there. You should have paid two bucks for that one, sir. That's all you needed.

Hippo and Hippocrat. I've never heard that in my life. That's funny. You've never heard hippo and hypocrite? No. I've definitely heard that before. I'm sure you have. Real black guy for two.

Schizoteman and Riley should fight on the show. Oh, I forgot about all that. I don't think you're getting those three in a room anytime soon, sadly. Anything could happen? I mean, I'll quickly update the audience. You couldn't help. You couldn't resist. I can resist.

I don't have to. You couldn't resist. I don't. I'll resist right now. You do you. Just a $2 super chat has inspired you. Do whatever you want. People don't know what the fuck that means.

They don't know what that means. Who fucking cares? How many of these do we blow through and don't explain for $2? I won't explain it. The audience has to know what this $2 super chat means. It's interesting. Really? it's interesting.

I see a lot of people saying that they find it interesting. Okay, that's it. I see a lot of people commenting on it. What do you want? I don't got to talk about it. I just thought. I don't give a shit. I never gave a shit.

If people are going to talk about it. I was just going to real quick clarify that mince salad. You were going to real quick have the last word. I'm not having a last word. There's no last word. Mint salad is no longer with Riley. There you go. who gives a shit

people apparently who the fuck would what do you mean people apparently well Ralph fucking did a whole stream on it Frog Tony did a whole fucking stream on it so it's the fucking talk of the town you mean CNN and Fox News both covered

this story holy shit Ralph and Frog Tony are big players in this space oh my mama me Katie did posted clips all the stars are talking about this

because mint salad has run away with schizshawn. It is interesting that what happened. Now it's interesting talking about those guys to you. Now it's interesting. I don't know. I guess. Now it's interesting to you. Yeah. Now you want

to talk about those guys, right? Because it's funny drama. Yeah. Well, it's funny drama. It was funny drama when they were fucking with you. That's the point. And you threw a big fit about it. It was always funny. It's always been funny to talk about those guys. Always. Well, the difference is coming to my house is not funny.

It didn't start with coming to your house. It started with just busting your balls. Then Schizophrenc-Can came to your house. Whatever, you'd going out fucking with them. It's not whatever. Like, that's fucked up. I don't like it. Yeah, no one fucking cares.

No one fucking cares how fucked up it is. Dude, it's really fucked up. It's really fucked up. Vio, that's not the only thing that happened. The only thing that happened isn't Schizochon going to your house. It was a year of them teasing you online that you were throwing a fit about. that you didn't want to talk about that you're sending emails about

but now it's funny now it's funny to talk about I'm not prepared to rehash everything okay but certain people I thought I know because it comes up and you're like oh they came to my house

like that's like the standard fucking that's the standard move every online creator as well they came to my house oh they're saying something about my kids like oh they came to my house like totally ignoring

the number of times you told them explicitly to come to your house. Which was zero. Oh, which was hundreds. You were in that chat every day telling them to come to your house. You have told Schizochshan to come to your house hundreds of times. You just inventing stuff, dude.

You lying fat piece of shit. You're fucking hypocrite. You're such a fucking liar. You have told them hundreds of times to come to your house and fight you. Literally, zero times. You have told them hundreds of times. Literally zero times. Every day you're arguing at them to come to your house and fight you.

Every day. I literally, zero times. Every day you told Schizzo Sean to come to your house. Every fucking day, and they will show screenshots of it. Every day, bro. I would love to see. Okay. Bro, bro, bro, every day while you're arguing.

I would love to see a screenshot of me telling Schizophrencicin to come to my house because it literally never happened, dude. Dude, dude, dude, dude. Why do you say? Bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro. Dude, let me just get real with you. Yeah. You have been spastically arguing with these people for years. in DMs. You have said

everything under the sun to them. You have said you're going to fistfight them. You've said you've told them to come to your house so you can fight them. I have never told them to come to your house. I have explicitly said, don't come to my house, dude. And you told the whole internet it's totally fine to come as long as you're on public streets, right? Yes, you can be on the sidewalk. So you can come to my house on the sidewalk.

You can be on the sidewalk. And you've told them to do that. You've told people dozens of times. I've said you can do that. I've said I don't want you to do that. You've told them to come to your house and fight you. No, I have not. You have, I promise you.

I have seen it with my own eyes, dude. I said, come to my house and fight me physically. Yes, you've said it multiple times. In your, like, manic, I'm arguing for 48 hours at a time. Like states of mania, where you're just trying to get an epic win over one of these people in chat. Yes, you have said it dozens of times. I mean, I can't really win an argument when you just like invent shit I said. Everyone knows that you.

Everyone knows you did it, man. Everyone saw you doing it. But if everybody knows I do it, just post it. And then there'll be nothing I can say. Okay. Yeah, post it. All right. Let me let up discord.

Sure. Vote, load up discord and find me, what did I say specifically? Come to my house and fight me. Come to my house and fight me. All right. Let's see it. If I said it, the same shit, Blige said. The same shit.

If I said that, I'm an idiot. but I really did not say that. Okay. All right. Like, I'm constantly arguing. You got to let people find it. I know that you like to pretend all this is like lies to make you sound crazy. But you have been insanely melting down with these people for a year.

You just, I don't know what I can do when you tell me I said something I didn't say. You obviously said it, man. You have no memory. You're either lying or you have no memory of what you said. When you said, you told these guys just, show up and fight you. I go, I don't know what I can say because I never said that. Well, let me see if the guys that you told are in this chat. Yeah, sure.

It's kind of late. Or come back next week and show me this supposed message where I'm challenging people. Nah, no, no, no, no, no. I know how you work. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, you're sure now? I'm sure I said at some point, if you fuck with me, like, I'll kick your ass or whatever. But I never said, hey, come to my house and fight with me. You've told them many times, whether you were joking or not.

Okay. Well, you know what? You've told them many times. You have every opportunity to make me feel stupid by finding these messages. Vito. If I said it and you have, like, evidence of it, I just honestly. What would it matter? I mean, have you emailed me about, like, you don't ever want to talk about schizochon,

but now you want to update the audience about it because of a $2 super chat? What part of this do you want to piece out into, oh, this would, I want to, oh, this would prove me wrong if you can, if you can produce a chat that says I told somebody to come to my house, which part of it? Okay, so we're now at the point where maybe I didn't say it and it doesn't matter if I said it. Oh, no, you said it. You said it. I've seen it dozens of times. So let's just stay on that. Why are we changing the topic?

You're saying I said something. I'm not changing the topic. The topic is that you put the hill. hippo and hypocrite. The topic is that you threw a fit for a year about these people about talking about them and now you want to talk about it because it's funny and it's always been funny. And then you're crying that it's like, Schittoshaun came to my house, like that's some kind of out for your behavior about them over the year is total bullshit. But the behavior you're accusing me of is challenging them to fight, which I never did.

Not really. I should get physical. Oh yeah. Okay. Thank you. Balder. This isn't Exactly, Vito's saying, Come to my house, though. You've said it, you've said, come to my house, stay on the sidewalk, many times. You've said, come to my house and fight me, many times. I've seen it myself. Go ahead. You have no.

Why would I screenshot this shit? It's insane. Why would I screenshot you talking? I don't give a fuck about it either way. Because so much of your complaints with me are things you've interpreted me seeing that I never actually said. And then I go, well, bro, I never actually said anything like that. My complaints with you are that you're a fucking giant weirdo about these guys fucking with you. That people are trolling you and you're spazzing out about it.

Don't come to my house. That's it. None of this was about people coming to your house. It was about people making fun of you online. No, dude, it's always been about I don't want people coming to my house. Fun fact. Oh, Mint has three years of screenshots of everything Vito ever said. Oh, Mint's the only one that has them?

Yeah, I know she has them and I don't worry. I'm not worried about her having them because I never said come to my house and fight me. That's crazy. Okay, Riley is here. Yeah, Vito has definitely told me to come fight him or he'd kick my ass. Yeah, he doesn't have the screenshots on hand. No one has the screenshots on hand. No one cares about screenshoting these meltdowns you're having with these guys.

My point was you didn't want to talk about them when they're making funny you. Now you want to talk about them because they're having problems among themselves. That's my point. It's funny now because it doesn't involve you. It wasn't funny then. It was like a big issue when it was making fun of you. But now that they're

wearing each other, it's funny. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I never had any problem with Mint or Riley or anybody making fun of me. That's the only thing they ever did was make fun of you. That's the only thing they ever did. Skits-O-Shahn said, I'm coming to your house to film fucking content. There's nothing you can do about it. And I said,

hey, when a guy tells me that, I don't want to spotlight him on the show. Like, that's shitty. So I sent you an email and I said Hey listen Schizel Sean's saying he's going to come to my house And fuck with me So I'm not giving this guy air time He's a piece of shit

Riley do you want to get on the call Riley do you want to get on the call Get in the Discord thing right now If you remember what Vito said I'll let you in I'm just so I'm so tired of this bullshit that you're

This reframing shit that you're always doing It's so transparent to people I really just think you Think I've said things that I never said. I don't get it, man. It's not even the specifics of what you said. It's just that you melted down about them for a year. Like you were,

were you arguing with them every day in group chats or not? No. I was, you weren't arguing with Mitt and Riley every day for a year? The only time I went to that group chat would be, again, they're in there. That's insane, man. Tony, EVS, I mean, do you want me to? Okay. Everybody can, everybody knew that you were doing that.

Everybody. Okay. Everybody remembers you doing it. Okay, here's what happened They had a group chat Okay, they would go in there Mint would say something crazy Like, oh hey, by the way

This week we're gonna tell everybody Vito's comic is AI You know, to fuck with him And she's saying that- I don't remember any of that shit I was in there too Okay, so she's saying that to you To EVS to frog Tony

To whatever else To fucking the night school I need guys I need somewhere where Vito's I need one of the many times Vito I'm talking to Discord I'm talking to Discord I need one where Vito said Come and fight

Come fight me or whatever When he was like Over and over. You're a pussy. Come fight. Come to my house and fight me. All that shit. So I would go into the Discord and I'd go, it's not AI. Here's what's actually going on. And the only time I ever posted in that Discord was when they were trying to start a new rumor about me. The Twitter group chat, not the Discord.

Yeah, the Twitter group chat. And I knew guys like EVS were in there and Knife School and whatever else. So I'm like, hey, if they're going to lie about me, I'm going to say, here's what's actually going on. Fucking stop lying about me. Anybody at my Anybody in L. I want to party at my house No, I know, no, I know I need like, those are funny

LibFud, but I need the ones from I need the ones from the Twitter group chat The ones where Vito was like It was in the heat of the The heat of Vito wars Where him and Riley were fighting Every day Because I were like people

Giant shit It's the reason me and EBS left the group chat Well yeah, I wanted people to see How fucking crazy the things they were saying me was. No, the things you were saying was fucking crazy. The things really saying was hilarious. There was other people in that group chat who left the group chat and they sent me

messages and they said, hey man, thanks for showing me what pieces of shit those guys are. They sent me messages saying they were just joking when they sent you that. Those people sent me. Guys who are like the top of Hollywood, bro. Like bro, bro, bro, bro, bro. Like movie studio guys were sending me messages like

bro, I sent Vito a thing I was laughing with. And they said, dude, I could not believe that group chat, the things they're saying about you are fucking crazy. Like, I had to get out of there because it was toxic. I'm like, yeah, because I gave these guys a chance to show who they really. These are great. I never once

been worried about Riley breaking to my house. The point is that certain jokes cross a line for me. That's exactly, that's exactly what I'm talking about. And that's exactly the issue is that it's the jokes that Vito is throwing a fit about and now that they're having issues, and it's funny,

they're having drama. The drama's funny if you want to talk about it. Stop. I never thought Riley was going to break into my house. I never said that. It's the jokes that crossed the line. It's the jokes. Yeah, sure.

The jokes crossed the line because, again... Because you're the talent. Because you demand respect, right? No, because then a guy like Schizzo Sean goes, oh, hey, let me fucking... Let me fucking break into the house. So before Schizophrenia ever existed, you were so upset with Riley over jokes because it could have... Because someone like Schizzoan could exist. Is that right?

Yes. There you can. It gives people the idea that it's okay to joke about that and maybe actually do something. It's definitely okay. And now they have it. No, it's not. Well, okay, you can joke about it on your shows, but I'm not going to have you come on my... That's what you threw a fit about is other people in group chats show making jokes.

Bro, you... No one ever made jokes on your show. They're making jokes on group chats, on the internet, stuff like that. Okay, so ultimately the issue is what? Riley, if you can find, Riley, if you can find one of the many instances of these saying, come to my house and fight. Send it to me. Yeah, I want to see this.

Oh, here we go. I also want to see this. Come to my house and fight. No, that's not it. Now you're just sending mean stuff, Antoine. I don't understand this at all. You don't understand being a hypocrite? Explain the hypocrisy.

I'd love to hear it. That you throw fits over jokes and you, I'm totally fine with jokes I'm totally fine with jokes You quit shows because of jokes People are making and then As soon as something as something as funny is happening with them

That's not directed at you That's directed about each other Then you want to talk about them If somebody said to me If you said to me Hey It's a real serious boundary for me If you're going to joke about

Mint and Riley breaking up Don't do it I'd say oh okay I don't understand it 100% but if that's a boundary for you, that's cool. And I've told you, hey, joking about breaking into my house, it really fucks with me. I really don't like thinking about it.

I don't like thinking about having to get extra security, worrying about what's going to happen. It's just one of these things that is a really big boundary for me. And you've never gone, you know what? I don't understand it, but if it's important to you, I'll respect it. No, I understand it and I hate it. I think that everyone should violate it as much as possible. It's stupid.

Well, it's a lie. It's a lie. It's because you're getting made fun of us. It's because you're getting made fun of it. of. Because you're getting made fun of, you made up this shit about boundaries. Because you're getting made fun of you made up this shit about,

oh, it's about my house. Even though you tell people to come to your house all the time. You said come to my house and stay on the sidewalk. What kind of sense does that make? First of all, I said, if you come to my house and stay on the sidewalk, there's nothing I can do. No, you said come to my house and stay on the sidewalk. I don't remember

saying that. I'm pretty sure I've always said if you do that, there's nothing I can do legally. I said, if you're going to come to my house, As long as you stay on the sidewalk, you want to have any trouble. Look, man, I have a boundary. Obviously, I'm okay with being- There's you saying you'll fight skits-o-shan for 50 grand. No, I'm not holding on.

Fuck you. Why are you so mad, man? Like, I just, like, I find your level of hypocrisy, like, a horrible cancer that's, like, infects a lot of people in the world. Bro, I have one boundary. It's really fucking annoying. Your boundary is not getting made fun of. I know.

That's the boundary. I can't make fun of on this show all the fucking time. What are you talking about? I even make like constant jokes at my expense. I invite people to, we have fucking stingers and super chats to talk about how I'm fat and I lost my cat and I'm a piece of shit. Like the idea that I'm not okay with being made fun of is crazy. I'm telling you, there's one very small, specific boundary that I went, dude, this is over the line. It's not cool to me.

My house is a place I feel safe. I don't want people coming on the show and fucking around with it. With the street in front of your house? There you go. I don't want people coming to my house. thank you for proving my fucking point. Stay on the street. Stay on, yeah, stay on the street.

I can't do anything about it. That's the law, man. I can tell you what the law is. Okay, if you really feel the need to come harass me, if you stay on the street, there's nothing I can do, but that's not an invitation. Bro, I am totally fine with being made fun of. I've made fun of my whole fucking life.

Call me a fat piece of shit. You know, sometimes, yeah, sometimes I get annoyed getting made fun of. But this was one thing where I said, dude, this fucking pisses me off. Yeah, there you go. Show up in my house and I rip your woman's tits off and beat you to death with them faggots. So don't do it. That's me telling you, don't do it.

Yeah, I can't keep up with all the screenshots people are sending. Okay. Well, I haven't seen a single one that says that's an invitation. No one keeps track of this shit, man. Oh, yeah. Okay, here's another. Yeah, I mean, exactly. It's like, it's shit like this.

It's whatever sounds good to you in the moment. This is also what you said. If people stay on public property, then I don't care. Well, I can't do anything about it. That's not what you said is I don't care. You see, here's the problem. I'm sorry, I'm sorry it slipped to I don't care. It doesn't, it's not a slip to.

It's annoying. It's not a slip though. It's annoying. It's not a slip though. I care way less about that than coming on my private property. It's your, you want to maintain this, you want to maintain this edge lord stance that you don't care about anything, which is. I care about, no, I care about a lot of stuff and I'm not an edge lord.

I care about a lot of stuff. Edgillard stance where anybody could fuck with anybody because you fuck with people. No, I don't agree with that. And Adam Stein fucks people and you like people who fuck with people. No, I don't agree with that. You obviously like people fucking with people. I don't agree with that. Okay. It doesn't matter. I fuck with people in public. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Which includes public streets. Sure, go to the public street and fuck with people. And you also, you also want to be the free speech absolutist guy. You've talked about it a lot. You also want to be the free speech guy. Right? Okay. Which means saying anything, saying whatever you want, saying making jokes, especially jokes, especially jokes.

And what happened was you got upset that people were making jokes at your expense, especially Riley, I don't know why, but to chat too. Like as soon as people were calling you pigs, you got real pissed off and started banning everybody. I don't know. There's a bad time for like a year. You got really upset. And you're trying to, you're trying to keep this narrative around you being upset and banning people and threatening Riley and banning this topics from the show

and not wanting to talk about anything with this idea of yourself that you have that's like a free speech warrior and anything goes and public streets and that's why these things that you're saying are always in conflict because you're like, come to my house and stay on the public street but also don't ever joke about coming to my house

when these are the same. Saying come to my house and say on the public street is the same coming to your house. Like, there's no difference between your house and the public street. Obviously, they're not coming in your house.

Are you ever going to be funny again? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or is it just this forever? Can we just... No, no, no, I'm not dropping on this show. I'm never dropping on this show. Now, you had the opportunity to not talk about it, but a $2 super chat set it off.

And I think it's really... I think it's fucked up that you spent so much energy and wasted so many people's time trying to stop getting made fun of by Riley and Mint and now when something funny is happening to them it's I want to talk about this again

you're right I'm a hypocrite I got it I you know whatever sure all right I'm a hypocrite sorry my bad I will not read any super chats about Mint and Riley I just wanted to point that out that now that something's funny is happening with them you want to update the audience, but before it's like, this is a total meltdown and Hacomania's canceled and nobody can joke about coming to my house, even though I've, even though I've

continuously antagonized them into coming to my house and tell them to come to my house all the time. Apparently, I told them to come to my house and I told them to fight and nobody can provide any... Why would anyone have these screenshots, dude? They have, why do you have all these other fucking screenshots? I don't know. People saved them because they were funny. I don't have any of this shit. I'm not in the room anymore. bro at this point I'm just at a loss

I mean I'm sorry alright I thought it was I tried to make this a funny show and I get it I'm a huge hypocrite what do you want me to do about it I'm reading Discord okay yeah we're gonna have to get if anybody's still in that room you're gonna have to pull it up I don't know

once me and EVS left I have no record of it I don't know if anybody's in that clip of her's chat anymore Well, if you guys are able to find a message of me challenging somebody to come to my house, congratulations, I really can't imagine me saying that, considering the only thing I've ever said is don't come to my house. Well, you have said come to your house, but stay on the public street. No, I have not. You also haven't found me saying that.

You've had me saying if people stand on a database of like stupid shit that you've said over the years. I know you don't. So you just said. I remember what you say at the time. And we have to, we have to. We have to build these. And I remember the time you told me about your gay lover, Sven, and how much you loved honk and his clown nose.

I mean, whatever. It's a he said, she said. I get that you believe that I said these things. But this is like, this is a common thing with you where you go, Vito, you did this, this, this and this. I go, oh, really? Man, if I did that, that was a really stupid thing for me to say, where did I say that? You go, I don't fucking know, but you said it, idiot.

I'm just not in the group chat anymore. Okay. I left. I'm like, this is fucked. I don't want to look at this is like disgusting what's happening here. I'll say right now, if I fucking. told Riley to come fight me in my house. That was a really stupid thing to say. But I'm like

99% sure I would have never said that. That's crazy. Yeah, you did. I just don't know. I just don't have any access to that group chat anymore. All right, sure. You know what? I'll just yeah, you're right. I said. You know, you have regular meltdowns. I got it. It's not unreasonable. It's not

unreasonable. You're talking about raping mid-salid. You don't think you challenge these people to a fight? No, because that's different. That's an act of love, not hate. Yeah. Anyway, uh, schizo Sean took Riley's girlfriend. Riley, you're not in the, you're not in the original one

Mint is. Well, Mint could be the fucking MVPest of all. If she could, if she would post the entire history of that chat room. Because nobody else has access to it. I think he'd be too left, buddy. Uh, yeah, a bunch of people left and got banned.

Yeah, because everyone will just see a knife school in Riley saying, hey, I'm gonna fucking, you should die and you should fucking kill yourself. Yes, and you were telling them the same. You morons were fighting like that every day. I would laugh at fucking knife school and his long, I have screenshots.

Knife school doesn't matter. It's just, it's just you and Riley. That's all that matters. Knife school would post 50 fucking paragraphs about how he wanted to kill me and it was really funny and I would screenshot them and post them on Twitter. That's why I was in the group chat.

No one cares about nice chat. But you saw it. You saw me, Posted it on Twitter. Yeah, I mean, I saw that. That was just like you're messing around with a guy who's, you know, has low impulse control. I don't know. Yeah, it was funny.

Okay, why is that a fucking problem? I don't care about it. I'm not saying it's a problem. I'm saying I don't care about it. Dick. Okay. So I'm a hypocrite based on. Yeah, Vito's deleted a lot of messages in Discord too.

I know. Deleted. I don't have access to these messages. Oh, well, I mean. There's magic secret messages. We have to wait for... Mint is the only one that can find them. There's magic secret messages of me

telling Riley to come to my house. Is that what we're saying? I don't think you remember everything you've said in group chat. I would remember saying that because if I said that, I would immediately lose any ground of me constantly saying, stay off my property.

You talk about killing yourself all the time. Like you don't have a... No, someone who's suicidal doesn't have a good recollection of what they're talking about. I'm not actually suicidal. I'm not going to kill myself. You are definitely actually suicidal. I'm not suicidal.

Your friend killed herself. You live in squalor. Like, you're constantly, you're morbidly obese and depressed. I'm losing a little bit of weight actually. I'm feeling pretty good about that. You look fatter than ever, man. If anybody's at risk for suicide, it's you. You don't remember what you say day to day. You do not remember what you're singing that group either. I remember everything I said in the group. In fact, I have a mine like a steel truce.

trap, that's the worst part about me. She has no reason to keep them. She can't monetize them. Like, I was going to, oh, okay. So she's got messages and she could monetize them. I don't know. Point is, you tried to make a claim. You couldn't back it up, which is fine.

Maybe more evidence will arise in the future. I don't think I'm nearly as much as a hypocrite as you claim. I just think you don't understand that I have one very specific boundary that for some reason it's like impossible to respect. It really, like, everybody has to fucking give me a joke. Like, your boundary is a joke. If people joke about coming to your house, then you pitch a fit and cry about it. Dude, schizochian, they keep fucking coming to my house.

Yeah, you made that real by crying about the joke. Like, people are making jokes and you started freaking out. So then guys actually did. That's what happened. You did that. You caused people to come to your house. You did. I...

Sure. Maybe I handled it wrong. No, you did. You're the reason that people can't be your house. I know. I've... You've... I fucked up.

bit about it. Well, you know what? I've, I, uh, yeah, I did, I did, it's your fault. It's your fault. I agree. You spurbed out and made people to come to your house. I am very easy to get, yeah, I'm a guy who becomes very easily upset. It's something I've tried, I've been trying to work on. Because you got made fun of and you lost your mind. Like, that's what all this boils down to. It's getting made fun of. Again, it's a very specific boundary I have. Of a joke. Talking, talking, of a specific joke.

Talking about robbing my house and fucking with my house. Okay, everybody. Talk about robbing Vito's house all the time forever. That's all you should talk about. At this point, there's nothing I can do about it, because you just won't respect this simple boundary that I have. I don't respect it. I didn't do anything.

I've done nothing, by the way. Nothing. Okay. Well, you're encouraging it on so many levels, but whatever, man. On what levels? You just literally told everybody to joke about it, knowing that it upsets me. Oh, yeah. Oh, sorry.

Everybody, if it doesn't upset Vito, don't do it. If you don't get a reaction, don't do it. Is that better? You have fans of yours who, you know, you tell them, hey, fucking with Vito in this way is going to be really funny and put them over the top and get them really upset. No, I actually, I had no idea that you were stupid enough to get upset about Riley joking about pouring pigs blood in your call. I don't think it, okay, again, it never had anything to do with pig's blood. Not a single thing. I had no idea you were stupid enough to show the whole internet that something.

would make you upset. I had no idea you were that stupid. Well, I tried to handle people for years. I tried to handle it. I thought you'd say, I'm never going to show people what upsets me. I tried to handle it privately, and it wasn't able to happen. I tried to say, hey, privately, this really is not okay with me. And you and others decided, oh, this is great. We got a thing that really pisses Vito off. Let's make a whole spectacle out of it. Let's do shows about it. You all you have to do is not get pissed off. It's easy. Yeah, okay, well, you know what?

That happened over a year ago. I've learned from the experience. I'm trying to be less reactive to stuff like that. Let's be clear, as I always say, dude, I'm not really super used to being this scrutinized week to week. It's not scrutinized. It's just you can't take what you give out. Like, it's not scrutinized. You're just making fun of people and then people make fun of you and you're like, oh.

Well, again, I would never tell somebody. It's just ego. It's ego. It's your ego, man. It's just your ego, man. It's just your ego. Your ego got bruised and you got pissed off. Like, it's same as Eric's July. He says the same shit. Oh, I'm now. I'm a million-dollar business man. I can't be scrutinized. It's a real fucking struggle for me. I just don't understand this, like, concept that I don't have any thick skin. I can never tell you joke at my expense. This is crazy to me. We've done 200 episodes and a lot of them have pretty much been at my expense. You've called me all sorts of names. You've called me retarded. You've said, you said, you've said I'm dumb, I'm a failure, I'm a piece of shit. That's because you think I'm a higher status than you. It's when people that you think are lower status than you attack you, then you get upset. That's the issue. That's the issue that we're calling, that's what we're calling attention to. Dude, people send in stingers, people send in voicemails, people leave comments, telling me,

Vito, you're the biggest piece of shit, fucking kill yourself, whatever else. And I have rolled with it. Yes, do I get a little bit irked from now and again? Okay, because I think, you know, I do. banned them from super chatting. Remember that? There was a... Sure. All right. I tried to... Yeah, I fucked up. I'm a fuck-up.

I mean, yeah, but it's like, there's this endless bullshit of like, oh, you know, fuck-up. I got some of my fuck up. Oh, what do you know? On that? Well, I guess. It's like... It's like... So, can I change? Can I change? Is there no way... Who cares? Like... Who fucking cares, man? But that's what I'm saying, dude. It's like... Listen, listen. You want to hammer me for shit, like, over and

over and over with hackomania over and I go, dude, I understand I fucked up. Riley got under my skin. You don't, though. You don't understand that you fucked up. No, you don't. You've never said, oh, I fucked that up. Uh, uh, yeah. Dude, I gave a big apology to Melton on the fucking show. Did you forget about that? Who gives a fuck if you apologize to Melton? I thought that was the best way to handle it. I don't always know who to fuck to apologize. To apologize to someone who's not here, who doesn't listen to the show? Why the fuck would that matter. Okay.

Is there anybody, Mr. Rogers, would you like to apologize to Tom Hanks? Mr. Tom Hanks? Sorry, I fucked up Hacomania. I know you're a big Tookie fan. I'm real sorry that I

wasted your time and fucked around with you. I hope that if there is a castaway sequel, I didn't interfere with it. Your pal. All right. Look, I'm a big idiot, and I fucked everything up. and I don't know how to make it better.

I have no idea. The only thing I've been trying to do is just keep good energy, try to stay focused on the show. I don't know, man. I'm just trying to do my best, and obviously I'm not doing a great job. So, you know, and I got no guidance here. I'm just trying to play it by ear and, you know, do the right thing, I guess.

All right, well, update for the audience. Mitt and Riley broke up. I mean, it's actually funny. It's fucked. It's funny. It's fucked. Yeah, it's hilarious. It's hilarious.

But, you know. Well, again, I'm not talking about, hey, I haven't, like, I'm not saying go to their house and rob their house, you know? Yeah, I'm not talking about that. Why was there to rob? She already took everything. Mint didn't apparently rob, right? Yeah, but that's a line though. We can't joke about breaking into people's houses, though, right?

It's over the line Some jokes are over the line, bro. I mean, now that we know that... Bro, bro, bro, bro, bro. Bro, some jokes are over the line. Now that we know that these people will break into people's houses and steal shit, I mean, doesn't it lend some sort of credence

to me being worried about that? No, because it's like ex-girlfriends and boyfriend's shit, dude. It's actually the sign of... I don't know, man. It's the sign of a manipulative person that you would even say that. Because it's obviously a relationship that went bad. It's young people in a relationship,

and that's the kind of shit they do. and it has nothing to do with you. You making it about you saying, oh yeah, back in the past when I was an asshole, doesn't it make me kind of right? It's actually sickening. I don't really think it's that sickening. I think it just goes to show that

certain people are nuts, and I didn't trust them, and I didn't like the way they were talking about certain shit. Yeah, you didn't like him making fun of you. A very specific thing that I thought was over the line. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all about your fucking, your precious high. your fucking money bin. We know.

It's all about you can't make jokes about Vito's house. We get it. I mean, it's important to me. We've heard it. We've told my property shit. We've heard it. Because we all know you're lying, dude. We all know it's that you're getting made fun of. We all know your lying. Then why would I not pick any other thing? Like, why can

I not just be like, listen, man, this is one line for me. Again, I open myself up to ridicule on like everything else. You have blocked, you wigged out and blocked everyone who called you a pig. So it's not this one thing. And you've broken. You've blocked people on Twitter who ask about where their comic is. You've blocked Super Chatters who called you a pig.

Yes, you have. Yes, you have. Yes, you have. You've blocked people who ask about the comic. You blocked Super Chatters. And you wigged out for Riley. I think you wigged out for Riley because you didn't have power over him, to be quite honest. I just really don't like people joking about breaking into my house.

I'm sorry. Or calling you a pig. I don't like the pig stuff, but I got over it pretty quickly. After you banned them, yeah, that's pretty easy. You know what? I had a shitty week and I was tired of people making a... You think Eric July's ever had a shitty week? You think when we pissed on his ancestors' grave?

You think that was a shitty week? But you thought that was funny? I don't think I'm a hypocrite, though, because I'm telling you, yeah, I shouldn't have banned people on the YouTube or whatever. I mean I don't understand this at all, man So I want to hear how I want to hear about how

Because this happened in Riley It actually makes all your spruing out right I want to hear that actually you were somewhat right For the jokes I want to hear it again but with some You know real acting this time I think I was right about Schizochian being kind of nuts

That wasn't what this started out with though Schizophrenc came along like much much later Yeah but that's I don't know man I mean he was just like a guy that showed up and you hung out with him Outside your house it was fine We'd never hung out outside We have it on camera you literally came out greeted him

Say hi What are we doing? Like you literally made content with him But he came on later He came out later are you okay dude like uh i i'm like are you concerned yeah you're real concerned about your

your friend is that what this is now I'm just I don't get it man I used and concerned right I haven't I haven't understood it for a while like like like I've fucked up in a lot of ways

uh I've made a lot of stupid fucking mistakes. I'm really trying to be better and yeah, I don't want to be a hypocrite. I get it. Like, and I want everybody. I just want to laugh and have fun. And, uh, I don't know, man. I don't know. I don't know. I want to figure out how we possibly move past this. And I guess we just don't. Like, now you get it. Okay. Yeah. So, so it's just, it's just, it's just, forever. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. That's, I just don't live my life that way, man. Like, I hope for the people around me to change and do better and everybody have a good time. I hope we can get back to that at some point. How's the way you're living your life going? It's not great, but I'm trying to get healthier. I, you know, I've been to the couple doctors.

I'm getting new medication to try and get shit. figured out. But honestly, you know, I've been very depressed. I'm having panic attacks like crazy. And I'm trying to get it under control. And yeah, it's not a quick and easy process. It doesn't solve itself overnight. It really sucks that it's happening, you know, in the middle of, uh, it's not good for

the show. I get that, me being depressed and fucked up. So I'm trying to. It's not. I'm trying to get better, man. I'm like, who gets a shit? I'm trying to be better, dude. Like, I, well, I obviously get,

I give me a shit about myself. How do you not get that, how do you not get how funny it is? How big of a pen in the ass you were about, about Mitt and Riley, but now when something bad is happening to them, you want to talk about it? How do you not get how funny that is? I can understand what you identify.

I don't, again, and I'm not trying to, I just don't get it. I wasn't going to bring it up. We came up as a super chat. And I was just, we're going to, I was just going to really quickly let people know what was going on. Okay,

it was a mistake. But yeah, there's a bit of fucking shooting Freud when a guy who's been fucking with me, two guys who have been fucking, all three of them have been fucking with me. Okay, yeah, there's a little piece of me that goes,

oh, that's kind of like, you know, fuck them. Like, yeah, they deserve a bad thing to happen to them. Wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, who deserves, a bad thing to happen to whom? The three people who you don't want me to talk about, all right? They fucked me for the long ass. I don't care who you're, who you talk about.

I never have. Okay, well, they fucked with me. I just think it's funny that you couldn't keep your... They gave away, they gave away my whole comments for free. They fucking sent people to my house to record videos. They posted my address and my phone number on YouTube. I mean, you didn't

say you're going to send him to prison now, right? And you say you're going to rape one of them. I said if you come to my house, I'll call the cops. That's it. And you also said you're going to send your recording, you were secretly recording them, and you're going to send us to the cops, though, to send them to send them to jail. Yeah, if they came to my house. All of this was predicated on, just stay away from my fucking house. Yeah. What? Threats. Okay. So threats don't. Threats aren't. I got it.

Threats aren't nonviolent if they don't do something. That's like a mafia thing. Like, if you don't come over here, I'm going to kill you. Like, that's still a threat. Like, it's like, why did you just threaten me? I wasn't going to do that. I'm not going to do that. But it's still a threat. You get that, right? I just don't think I'm that bad a guy, man. Like, you, yeah. What? Nothing.

That I'm not, I'm not that bad a guy shit. I'm saying, uh-oh. Here's what I'm going to say is, uh, I've made a lot of mistakes. Yeah. Again, I've been dealing with severe anxiety. You don't care. No one cares. No one cares.

I know. I got it. Nobody cares. but there are problems that I've had that have caused me to act irrationally and get really emotional and fucked up up and I'm trying to figure my way around them I'm trying to get better trying to change as a person I think I'm a lot I think I'm less impulsive than I used to be but yeah I'm you know right now I'm in a not great place who cares you know what no one cares I got it nobody gets give a shit about me it's fine

I'm a piece of shit. I just want to have a fun show. All right. And yes, Mint Salad definitely deserves worse than rape. I agree with that. Okay. Why do you think that's okay

joking about breaking your house is in? Why do you think joking about rape's okay? Because I'm a big, dumb hypocrite. I'm a big hypocrite. I'm a big hypocrite. I accept that now. I've been a huge hypocrite, and I hope Mint Salad gets raped

five ways from Sunday by a pack of dogs. How's that? I don't know. Riley's cool again. care about any of it. Riley, Schizophrenia shouldn't have stole your stuff. That's fucked up. And I just want to do some comedy.

I thought you were going to make it through without talking about it, honestly. Well, sometimes a super chat comes up. Yeah, but you didn't have to let the audience know, did you? I don't know, man. I thought it was, you're right. I find it interesting. And maybe it's hypocritical for me to find it interesting. Well, it was always interesting, though, Vito.

That's the thing. everything they were saying was interesting to people too, but you said, no, this is a boundary for me or whatever. I can't stop them from saying it anywhere else, but again, if I'm going to be doing a weekly show, I don't want the show to be,

you know, talking, talking about breaking into my fucking house. I don't like you, man. You thought the show was about talking into breaking into your house? It was becoming like, you thought this show was about talking about breaking into your shitty little apartment. Riley was a party show.

If anyone's in your house, they're going to break out. No one's breaking into that little harmful. Riley was at the time. Rancid couch, rancid soggy couch, dodging magic cards and cats. Okay. At the time, what the fuck are you talking about?

At the time Riley was a part of the show. And I was trying to say to him, hey man, I'm happy having you as part of the show. What do you mean part of the show? Are you like stern? What are you talking about? Yeah. I don't know, man.

He felt like part of the show to me. Does he feel like part of the show now? he maybe he'll be part of the show again now that he seems to be fucking i don't know he's in the chat right now saying that he's in your house right now and he's going to kill you i've said dude i tried to make i tried to make peace with le brily and mint and get them back and whatever else and like it i don't know man i really tried to make was that before after the rape threats way before the rape threats came later and now the rape threats will stay Now I really hope Mint Salad gets hit by,

gets so autistically fixated at a train that it hits her and she gets raped to death by a pack of dogs. But that's just meant. I don't feel that about Riley. I think Riley was done bad by a retarded woman. I don't think that he would appreciate you talking about even an ex like that. I don't know.

I don't care if he appreciates it. It's not for his benefit. It's for yours. Yeah. I hope her head gets chopped off. Okay. I mean, it's whatever,

but. It sure is confusing. I don't think it's that confusing. Yeah, me either. Anyway, how you doing? Great. Good. I still like this show.

There's some magical quality about this show. You know? No. I think there is. I think there's something magical about this show. There's going to be less magic on things. Thursday. What are you talking about? Why are you so fucking negative all the time, man? I'm just telling you what reality is. You think Thursday is less magical than Friday? I'm just telling

you how people listen to things. It's Friday for a reason. They have to really hard sell Thursday TV to get people to watch. It's TV. I got stuff. I got stuff going on on Friday. I know. I don't care. I'm just telling you. I don't think it's that big a deal. Okay. Other than that, other than that, other than that, other than that, other than that. Hey, Dick, hey, hey, hey, hey, look at me. I am looking at you. That's what the TV is. I want to tell you something. I know there's going to be a day that you go, I'm done with Vito entirely. I'm never talking to him again. We're not doing any more shows. Fuck that guy to death. And I'm just going to say, I really enjoyed what we did. It was a really good, it was a really good time. And thank you for letting me take part in it.

You're welcome. Thanks for making it everything it was. I appreciate that. Shit, we got a lot of chats. Oh, we got to keep it going because the super chats keep rolling in, baby. Here, I got it. Pop quiz for two says, Fido. Cardinal Bird for two says $2.

Boulder-holler. Chertergery for two says, I can see my face. My power grows by the second. Blunder review for five says, stop feeding your son that disgusting rice milk formula. That slop is toxic in causing chronic diseases into the garbage. Fuck, it is.

Fuck. Wait, actually? I don't know. Everything's causes everything. Everything's toxic. Captain Cheese for five. Vito plays dark souls on the treadmill, but the speed is set to zero. Also, you only have to grind in Dark Souls if you suck at the game. Well, I do suck at Dark Souls.

Dark Souls 3? I mean, you can grind levels. There's nothing wrong with that. Trotic for 5. says Vito, you're just describing sucking at Dark Souls. Ulam Ocklevich for 10 says, it's still not at the printer. Ha ha ha, ha, is this a bit dude? The pizzas are coming any day now. I would think Vegas for two.

Can you dye your beard, Vito? It is a little out of control. Rumpled Forskin for two. Vote down. Vote it up. Guys, let us know in the comments if you want to keep voted up. Cab cheese for five says replace. Vote it up with Vito's Superkiller Progress Report.

Hey, you guys can see the grog list for five. I love being in the room when you guys figure out what we will find entertaining. Keep it up, boys. Vito's mic is really low. You see, I got a new microphone. You got another mic? Well, you kept telling me the audio wasn't good, so I got a new microphone. It was your settings. Well, does it sound better now? I don't know. I got to listen to it on the... It's still peaks. It's still peaks. All right, well, I'll work on that, but regardless, this is a better microphone for podcasting. And you remember you were upset about my air conditioner. I got a new air conditioner. Oh, that's...

That's great. So even though I just bought a $500 air conditioner for the show, I bought a different $500 air conditioner. Good job. This one is a U, so half of it hangs outside the window. Huh. That's cool. I have also purchased a new camera, which I will attempt to use for this show.

It is a Sony 4K camera, which I did not want to buy, but Dirk made me buy it because he won't record corn boys without it. So I guess that'll... Coin Boys is coming back. We're thinking about Avatar Corn Boys. What do you think? I mean, just do a lot. You got to do a lot.

Just do a lot of the corn boys. Yeah. All right. Before it's any good, you got to do a lot. Dirk's never done any hosting before? Not that I, well, I don't know. No. Yeah, you got to do a lot.

He set up streams. Yeah, he's got to do it. That's not the same thing. Ulim O'Vith for 50 says that beard comment reminded me. There was a bit year ago where Vito said he'd shave his beard at $1,500 were donated. I started doing $50 a week but stopped when Vito forgot to read the dono and I knew he wasn't going to wait. I don't remember this. I will if you really, well, at this point I don't want to shave my beard for, well, maybe I would shave my beard for $1,500.

Let me think about it. I'd never forget to read a fucking donation. Shut up. Pop Quiz for Five. Simpsons. Those cartoons from Fortnite. Yeah. They're at the studio for five.

It's been too long. I can only see Millie Bobby Brown as a lifestyle brand ambassador with a British accent who despises wearing bras. Yeah, same. It's too old. Waka Taka Wattaka for five. Biggest problem in the universe from six months ago, you're still the show I think of when I want to smile. Coo for Two. Sorry, I'm late.

Have, thank for not killing yourself on the house. Thank you. Sparta Eternal for Two. People want to get sauced and watch the show live. Well, you can do that on Thursdays. Nope. You said it was a good idea to move the show. That's what I was told.

No, I doubt that you agree. You asked for it. I have an email. Do you want to hear what the email says? I know you don't. Sure. I don't care. Here's what I was told.

I mean, nothing is going to, like, nothing is going to, no email is going to magically override this. He replied immediately and said, he said it's a good idea. Maybe I said that. Sure. Lots of shows are on Thursday. It's not a big fucking deal. Let's see. I said, that's fine.

I said, make sense. I'll think about it. Yeah, that's fine. Makes sense. I'll think about it. Okay. Sure. Well, good.

It's good. It'll be a good change of pace. Stratory for five. Four seasons is perfect. The first two seasons of Rocky were okay. It peaked in season four when he fought that Russian. Then season five had Tommy Gunn. Complete ass.

Well, those are movies, but yes, I agree. Koofer five. I'm glad to hear the video has decided to convert to Islam and attend Friday prayers diligently. Alam du Lila. Locatoro for two, what's a bigger scam? Okay. El-Gunial for two. Watching this show, sober is a major L.

Michael Fee for 10, moving to Thursday is dumb. What could a guy who can't even release a comic have going on that he has to move a show that generates regular income to a day that's guaranteed to have less viewers? I don't know that that's true. Methylvania for five. It'll stop generating income soon. where's the problem transition sound this show fell off the cliff frank 12 for five vito can work out play

games and work on the comic at the same time is a triple threat balder for five dayquil use is the antihistamine not the decongestion there are two different products for two different reasons vito's being dumb okay we'll see everything i'm reading tells me no all right that makes sense miserable but if you want antihistamine just get antihistamine, not Dayquil Mr. Poop snorkel for two Is fat, will you be attending Hackamania 3 in Vegas? I have considered it.

Balder for two, I thought everyone knew said a man who is lying. Cherturgery for five, I don't know why we're so worried about Chuck Dixon. Turns out he Dick, turns out the dixie chucked were placebos the entire time. Check Dixon. Balder for five, back pain is typically a nerve system issue.

Aspirin, acetaminophin, et cetera, to deal with inflammation. video you're dumb. I'm literally just reading the information I have. Thank you for the info, Balder. Diamond G for two, deep state veto. This show is a placebo. The Pope for five, Tick-Tac loves Neptune, but he won't say so. He should say so. He should say so. Here's a couple more super chats. Rumpled Forskine for two says pet residue is Sebum. Baldur for two says we have to. We have an after show, then a woman ripped it up. Diamond G for two says Vito stealing our Friday vibes like Minnesota Somalis.

Cabin cheese for two says the lesson of this drama is to never trust a bald man. Cabin cheese for two, I was referring to Vito by the way. Buttonhole for five, I have to super chat through a different account because you blocked me for making fun of you. You definitely have a problem with people teasing you. Thank you, buttonhole. Thank you. Thank you.

Cabin cheese for five. If this show doesn't go live next Friday, I'm going to Vito's house. Uh-oh. You're going to get blocked, Captain Cheese. Mess with Vito. No, I'm over it. Yes, sir. I'm over it.

Shoebox, king of for two, Vito W. Plum Hama. Vito Head Scum. Vito stimulant use. Johnny Rocket for 10. If it was pig jokes, then pig blood phone call, then worrying Riley would ruin hackamia, then daring Sean to show up. Yeah, that Johnny Rocket's good.

with the timeline. Yeah. Raza, well, I apologize for all of it. All of it. I was wrong. And I should have just rolled

with the punches better. I was clearly too hyper-focused on one thing. And at this point, I'm just over it. So I'll just, I'm just trying to let things roll off me.

Right? Isn't that the way to do it? Um No, that That was uh Totally insincere And had like a bunch of Um

Things people throw out With apologies to like negate them No Okay I mean obviously Like obviously you stuck them in there To be a So it was a condescending

Yeah no Obviously not I mean I mean look I'll say it again What's the purpose of like That What is that?

What is that? I was hyper-focused on things. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we know. We get it, your property. Yeah. Yeah, I was very hyper-focused on that. I still worry about it a lot, but I'm trying not to, I'm trying to understand when jokes are jokes.

Really? It's not a big deal. I'm trying to understand that. Can you imagine if Eric July said that in a video? Look, everybody, I'm just trying to understand when jokes are jokes. So I guess I can just never come back from me. You? It's just over for me. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you, yeah. I can never change and I'm just always, it's an infinite L. I mean, it's like, Will and Cannes are very, you know, specific words for people.

So, like, do you think people can change? Not really. I don't think they do. They could just totally be a different person at any point. But they don't. So basically, I could never change. I'm always going to be. Well, you could. But you won't. Well, why would I not, though? Like, what, what do I need to change? Could you tell me that? Would that be something you could articulate? It's pretty much, yeah, it's always the same answer.

It's just ego. Yeah, I got to divorce my... Okay, I won't even agree, because that's fucking assumptions. Tell me, I'm sorry. I mean, it's just ego. I don't know what... I don't have anything more than that. That's it.

You're right. Ego caused this, and it will... will always cause it. That's, that's what it does. Ego's a huge fucking problem for me. I get it. Sorry, you're right. I'm like deflecting. I don't care. I don't care. It's really hard to talk about the shit honestly, man. Like, it's hard to like get, to nail it down. Like, yeah, I feel like a piece of shit. A lot of the time. And, uh, you really, I'm really trying to not be a piece of shit. And I know I'm failing at it in a lot of

fucking ways. I know I've like really fucked up a lot of shit and a lot of friendships. And I'm trying to figure out again, I'm just trying to push through it. And it's been really fucking hard for me. But I'm honestly trying. I'm trying to come in, have really good energy. I'm trying to like make the show fun. Do you not see that it's funny that you wanted to talk about the people that you like,

caused so much pain in the ass to avoid talking about for so long. At first I didn't want to talk about, look, I didn't want to talk about him. And then fucking Ralph comes to me and he's going, please come on. And then Riley went to me and he goes, you have my blessing to fucking talk about it. So it felt like a whole fucking different scenario, man. Like Riley wanted me to talk about it. You just don't see how it's funny. I mean, you just don't get it.

Like, bro, I'm just, okay. These fucking people I'm sending it to jail. Hey, I'd like to talk about how their relationship got all fucked up. Oh, would you? You'd like to talk about that. Things can change, man. Like, Riley has come to me. And Riley has said, like, you know, how I want to drop.

I don't, you know, I don't know exactly what I can contextualize what he's saying. But I always got the feeling that he was with Mint. Mint was kind of pushing him to fuck with me. And now that Mintz out of the picture, I'm like, hey, maybe Riley's chill again. I don't fucking know. Yeah, he's. tell he was he was fucking bamboozled by a succubis dude men was kind of fucking nuts

the way she like she was really fucking nuts you remember she's actually she's actually like fucking crazy you know and glorious bastards you seen that movie when Hans is like when they're trying to like when they're pretending to be Italian and they're telling the Nazi and he's like

a laugh because he knows he's like yeah that's okay great what were you saying about mint she's really nuts I say it with you de cocoa de coco she's a really nuts

she's a really nuts bro she took my comic my unfinished comic made a whole fucking website and gave it away for free

like how fucked up is that that's crazy Gourlami that's like that's like if I took all her only fans content and fucking gave it away

like dude I wouldn't do that because that's fucked Who gives a shit? I really do. Why would I not give a shit about that? Because no one cares. Like the comic's dead.

Who cares? I specifically cared about it. It specifically bothered me. Okay, man. I don't know. Like, why can I not be bothered by shit? Oh, be bothered. That is the, that's the key to internet success is be bothered by shit and let everyone know about it.

I'll say this bothers me Why don't I have the right to be bothered by this? No, I, you know what? I specifically... Hold on. Hold on. I specifically didn't talk about it though. I specifically, as that stuff was going on,

I didn't say, hey, I'm really pissed off that meant fucking put my whole comic book online. Like, yeah, I did have many times what you're talking about it. In private. Oh, okay. Oh. You are a very uncharitable I don't know, man.

No, people aren't. They don't deserve charity. No one. They just use it to take. You're a complicated individual, Mr. Masterson. Nope. Not really. No, you really, you really are. It's like crazy to me. No, it's not complicated. You don't understand why somebody taking my unfinished comic book,

setting up a website to give it away for free, and sharing all the unfinished art and writing would, like, upset me. I mean, like bums get upset when one of them steals their broken blender. It's really important to them, but to people like me, normal people, it's hilarious. And then again, and then I'm talking to my artist and he goes, hey, man, that art wasn't finished. Like, why is it out there? Who did you give this to? And I have to explain it to him.

Yeah, you should. You owe him an explanation. Why did you get it to people that you can't trust? I just assumed that these people who told me they were really excited for my comic book. And I said, oh, cool, do you want to read it ahead of time and give me some notes? Yeah, that's a dangerous, that's a bad movie. You betrayed the artist's trust. I learned a lesson about trusting people with asking for notes, man.

So the bum comes back to the tent is why it's like, why did you give our blender away? And he's like, I thought I could trust that other method. I didn't know that if I gave my comment that she was going to go and just get mad at me and start giving it to everyone and set up a whole website to give it away. I didn't see that comment, man. I mean, why would you give somebody, like, why would you give somebody something to kill you with and then immediately piss them off? Because I liked men at the time. No, why would you give somebody something and then it pissed them off? I wanted to be friends with these people.

And then, I don't know what happened. Here's some, here's my kryptonite. Hey, Jimmy Olson, fuck you. Hey, Jimmy. I'm Superman. Hey, Jimmy, here's some kryptonite. Hey, Jimmy. Well, it's not a cryptonite.

Again, it's just, I wanted notes. It didn't completely destroy my fucking life. but it was like a really shitty thing she did. You wanted notes from someone that you were raped? That you'd rape? I'm not going to rape, Matt Salon. Vito, you got to look at it from my perspective, right? Well, your perspective is you don't care, right?

Well, yeah, because all this stuff is like, like, it's like trash. It's stupid. Yeah, I agree. So, like, okay, let's go back. They gave my, they gave my shit away. They showed everyone my diarrhea. Like, oh, wow. That's, uh, that's, that's for you.

So I got upset about it. I didn't get on, I didn't go on a bunch of shows complaining about it and crying about it. I just fucking moved on. What do you mean? I didn't go on shows. Like, what are you, Mory Popovich? What shows are you going on? I go on like different live streams and stuff, man.

Hey, hey, hey, here's comics today. Are all you 16 people watching? Yeah, anyway, I'm really upset about, like, what are you talking about? All right. Well, what I've heard from, you know, and other people is to exist in this space, you have to have really thick skin. I get it.

And I didn't have that skin. I'm working on trying to get it. I'm working on trying to just not get upset about stuff. You know, it just sucks when you're really fucked up the way I am and stuff really gets to you. I get really fucking emotional about shit. And stuff really affects me,

but I'm trying to fucking just deal with it. And I figured out ways to hopefully... Why are you making fun of Eric July so much if this is happening to you? I'm not making fun of Eric. Why were you? Yeah. Are we like his comic sucks if you are, you know... I have no problem with telling people their comic sucks.

And people telling me my comic sucks. Like, yeah, that's fun and funny. Like, that's fine. But again, when people went to Eric July's house, I was like, shit, that's over the line. Nobody went to Eric July's house. They did, though. Where did they go to... Who went to Eric's house?

See, this is like, I don't want to bring it up. Like, at one point, God, why are you so coy about everything? Did they go or not? It's like a, it's like reading little women. Oh, but, you know, oh, hoo-hoo, my goodness. Well, wouldn't you like to know. I understand, my, I believe Riley went and he filmed a video outside Eric's house.

Which you think is cool. No. You said anyone can go to public streets, right? Well, I guess if he was, again, if he's on the public street, but it's still like getting close. And again, I think it's like... So you don't like public street stuff now. You think that's bad.

If he stayed on the street, I guess it's fine. Well, how complicated. I don't know, man. I don't think about it that much, but there's some stuff that has been done to Eric July or I go. It's just like the way you're trying to work in that other people are bad people because they do stuff to somebody else that you don't want...

Like, it's like this weird manipulation where you're trying to say somebody's guilty of something that you're also saying is bad now that you've said is okay in the past that you don't care about. It's like, it's just really gay when it comes down to it. Like, uh, was someone attacked? Like, uh, you know, no. So, you know. I mean, yeah, that's, look, you're right. I have like different. It just seems like you're trying to get back at Riley.

That's all. All this is always just I'm trying to get back at everybody. No, it's really that I just, I don't always. agree with some of the shit that goes on. Who cares? For the most, that's, I know, and that's why I don't fucking talk about it. But, like, when you really press me and you go, like, well, hey, Vito,

you said this was okay, this was okay, this was okay, and I go, well, if you really are going to fucking, like, nail me down on it, yeah, some of that shit, I think is over the line, but whatever, it's not funny, so I don't talk about. You know, it's funny, I sent that $2 super chat that got you to talk about this. That was good, that was smart. That was clever.

I knew you would have to inform the audience of what happened. That was a good move. That was good stuff. Is Reddit exploding yet? They support you. That's good. Do they?

Oh, they love you, yeah. Reddit, I don't need to be supported. This isn't about Reddit, man. That's exactly what Reddit is for. Let's see if they're talking about it already. They're probably not talking about it already. They're talking about sports ball. Oh, they're talking about Riley destroyed the biggest problem.

And then in parentheses theory. I don't think biggest problem has to be destroyed. I don't think that's necessary. I'm willing to do what I'm talking about and just fucking get over it. Uh-oh. People can make whatever jokes. There's a bunch of new super chats.

Okay. People can make whatever jokes. I will just fucking deal with it, man. You know, stealing our Friday vibes, like Minneapolis, Somalis, like Minnesota Somalis. Hey, kidding. Diamond G. Captain Cheese for two. The lesson of this drama has never trusted ball band. Captain Cheese for two,

I was referring to Vito, by the way. I think you read that one. Buttonhole, Captain Cheese, Balder, mess with Vito, yes, sir. Shoebox Kingdom for two, Vito, W. Yeah, you read that one. Oh, yeah. Razzada, Daz, Avido, I love you so much for 10.

The Hammer for two, Ripshow. Razzadazz it for five. Thursday is better. I can watch it. Work. There you go. Thursday's on the way out. There you go.

Captain Cheese for two. If Vito was capable of change, she wouldn't be fat. That's trapped the Detroit for Two. I've lost 10 pounds. 10 pounds. Koo for two, nice cap, Showed off to the class.

Balded for five. She pirated your comic after you threatened to struggle, after you threatened to rape her. No, that's not true. All right. Goodbye, everyone. Hey, wait, is this on Thursday? We're definitely doing another show on Thursday.

This isn't the last show? Yeah, sure. Thursday. Okay, yeah. All right. Hey, hey. Take some day quill. Oh, man.

Well, so, oh, yeah. I assume that all that was bogus, that it's actually, it does. work. I got to check with Balder. Boulder MD. I don't think it works, man. It might, though. Maybe it'll work. Take care of yourself.

Justy Bonn. I just watched Destiny's video on Vito's manipulation tactics. So this episode is good timing. Thanks, guys. There you go. Have you watched that? Destiny has a video about your manipulation tactics? Yeah, he said I'm really good at it. He said I'm like the best manipulator. He has a whole video about it. No, he doesn't have a whole fucking video about it.

You know what he... It's the fucking clip. It's a clip. I don't know that. Yes, you do because you talked about it. But whatever. About him having a clip? Yeah.

I didn't watch it. That's fine, but you know it exists. You don't roll with the punches, but fire back at Masterson. Still, there you go. You got to get him. Get him, get him. The only thing I could say to Dick Masterson is that I love him deeply. That's fucking...

a weird lie it's not a why why was it a lie why do you think that's a lie come on man another man dude like you're it's just not appropriate you are a very important part of my life and I know you're not in touch with that

but I am and I can tell you I love and I respect you and I always will and it's gonna drive you nuts those words mean those words mean totally different things to many people I know your version is not what mine is

Okay, goodbye everybody I curse you With my love Uh, bo bo boop Boop Are we off? We're off How's my audio?

It's better, still peaks Okay, I'll work on that I'll see you Thursday Thursday Is that fine? It's not that big a deal I mean, we'll see It doesn't matter

Thursday's fine I mean, is there anything else you need me to do? No Thursday.