The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 216

Episode Date: January 17, 2026

Oh, bubub, bubub, buh, fuck. All right, can you hear me? Yeah, I was wondering why the music was so loud, but it turns out I had two windows open, overlaying it on top of the other one. Rookie mistake! Rookie mistake! I guess it's not as loud as I thought it was. Here, wow, our intro is...

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. This intro is dramatically annoying. What do you mean? Well, because I was like, because it was so loud, I'm like, when did our intro start to become so fucking horrific? I realized, oh no. What the fuck is going on with the intro, man? Okay. Dix's a skillful.

What the skillful time dodge? Yeah, that intro. What the hell? Hold on, hold on. It's crazy. I thought it's just crazy. Wait, wait, wait. See, we got to go like this.

Why is the name of the show Big Set Pro? Oh, whatever. We got to go like this. Wait, wait, wait. Yeah. Don't... Come on, come on, come on, come on. Come on.

Give me the little thing. What the fuck is that shit? What is happening? I'm trying to do something. Hold on. Your browser's a mess, by the way. My browser's great. Why do you have a million...

Fruit. I'm like... I'm going on a pickle diet. Fruit. Okay. Now, this is how... Watch, this is how... Here we go.

Here's how the last one. It goes, we go. Last time. On the biggest problem in the universe. All right. I'm not going on a pickle. This up better. Whoops.

Could have pulled a clip. I just thought of it. I just thought of it right now. Could have pulled a clip. The ultimatum of 2026. I just thought of it. Will the show continue? Will Vito give up his mod powers?

Or will the show be ended? This is the question you've all been waiting a week for. And now you get the answer on this January of 8th. whenever you want Vito you get to pick door number one or door number two

or do you want some pick thinking What are you looking at? Am I still here? Yeah I think my camera I'm not really sure exactly what it is you want

so just send me a message and tell me what you're asking for All right show's over shows over Okay but what you actually met was was yes

right Yeah I mean I think I already said that, but whatever. Whatever mod powers are. Okay. Yeah. But you actually... So I think we're good.

Yeah, I mean, I meant to say, you know, obviously any details of exactly what you mean, but sure. Just log out of, like, log out of YouTube and disconnect your, uh, your, like, I am logged out of YouTube. Oh, really?

Well, I mean... Okay, I'll change the password then. Well, why are you changing the password? Because you can't be trusted to be in there and banning people. All right. Well, we'll do whatever you feel you have to do to make the show enjoyable for you. Okay. Boom.

That won't make it enjoyable, but that's the deal. All right. Now we're back. We're back, everyone. All for you, Massa. Whatever you need. My wife said, I can't believe he said that. I was thinking about coming on in Blackface, but then I thought it might be a little too much.

All right. I really thought this should be the. the blackface episode, but then I said, you know, I'll save that. I don't think we're at the blackface point yet. Do people think I'm going to throw away three grand a month? What the fuck are you talking about? That's the other question I have for other people who are going,

Vito, you're throwing away three grand a month? And I'm like, no, obviously not. Which is why I was like shocked when you're like, the show's over. I'm like, what are you retarded? The show's not over. You fucking idiot. I thought it was over, though. I thought it was over. I like that both of us have the exact

same thing. I thought it was over for real. Yeah, well, I mean, come on man, I'm not that stupid. People won't give up that. They get into the dark. It's like they have the lure of the mod. I know you did a show with a guy who did give up like free money, but like that's been the reason this show works

and the reason this the reason why I don't know the best way to put this, but it's like Vito likes money. Right. You know? If I didn't like money, yeah, there might not be a show, but I really do like money. You like money.

It's a lot. Yeah, I like money a lot. Yeah. And you like money. I need it. Well, I'm trying to tell you. I need money. Well, there's ways the show could make money, but whatever. We'll figure it out. We could

go to Rumble and then be totally unfiltered. That would make a mint. You know, I actually have people telling me that Rumble is now paying really good for some reason. So I don't know what that's about. It only pays good if you're friends with Chris Pavslowski. Is that how it works? You gotta be really, you gotta butter his biscuits. Can we get in with the kick guys and then they can pay us to gamble on their, on these like

gambling sites? And then we gotta tell everybody, look how much fun online gambling is and you can't lose. That's the best part of it. You can't watch me. I click a gem and it turns into $200. Maybe if we were friends with the Kino Casino. Are they making money? They gotta be making money at cake. But they're not doing like steak ads, are they? I mean, I know they're on kick. It's one big steak ad.

Everything there. Let's do steak ads. Let's do some steak ads like Martina. I think I would be good at steak ads. I would go, I love my virtue. I love playing. I tried steak. It's clearly a scam.

Now we're not going to get the sponsorship. Some people can't resist the lure of the mine. All that money I got, remember when I lost weight and you guys gave me like $1,000 in crypto? Yeah. Did you not get it? Yeah, I just threw it in like a virtual fucking slot machine. It's gone. You gambled it away?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was fun, though. That's classic. Classic. Whatever. Well, I, crypto went down, so, you know, it kind of worked. It was U.S. dollar coin, though. It wasn't really, it didn't go up or down.

Yeah, well, but I turned it, I turned into some other crypto and the crypto went down. I said, fuck it. Let's double it. by spinning this like slot machine thing. Oh, did you see the vote on should you do a show tonight? The vote was 54%. That's Twitter. That's Twitter.

He didn't ask everybody who likes the show. Did you see how much engagement was on Reddit? Yeah, man. Amazing engagement. Reddit loves this show. You need to show more respect for the Reddit fans. They're the real MVP's. Half of them are pedigms.

files, though. Yeah, but pedophiles have money because they got to travel to globe. No, Reddit doesn't spend any money. They don't spend money. I don't know why you say that. They don't know why you. What is your theory about Reddit not spending money? They're the lowest value user across like the whole internet because they, they consider it.

That's like a study. Yeah. It's like something about the, some, the allure of Reddit where they're like going into these threads and getting updutes and like finding, building little like filter bubbles, something about that also makes them proud to not spend any money. That's like their culture. Well,

I mean, it's also, part of it is the people who make the most money on the internet maybe this should be a problem is you make money advertising shit to like fucking, what do they call them, soccer moms and shit, because soccer moms are retarded and they'll click on ads and they'll watch

ads, they don't know. When you make content for a tech savvy audience, they go, I got ad blocker and I know how to torrent this and I can get the link somewhere else. It's like their power. It's the only power they have is to pirate shit. Their power is to not spend money. Yeah.

So it sucks. Here's the theme, a special theme for everyone who thought that the show was over. Turn off that pesky ad block. I thought it was over too. I thought it was over. I spent two days trying to balance my budget. I was like, how am I going to balance my budget? Well, I got to send you a, what do I got to say?

send you a W-2, 1040. What's the name of the form I got? W-9? 10-99. 10-99. I got to send you a 10-99. I was like, how am I going to, I can't afford this kid. My wife will have to go back to work. I'm sure you can afford the kid with a... I can't. I can't afford...

I have to start lactating to feed the kid. Doing the show for the kid. I don't want the kid to something. It's for the kid. All right, sure. Why not? Yeah. I need the... money. I need it. I thought it was done. I thought it was done. Wow. I, uh, I'm glad that But then Carl, Carl said, I'm so glad it's over. Fuck Vito. And I said, you know what? I'm not

going to let that. Is that what Carl said? No, come on. Let me see. W, who are these podcasts? Rafftreon. How's he doing? Oh. Oh, his numbers are down. Biggest. No, they shouldn't be. He's a great entertainer. In the universe.

Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe. The only show that ranks every problem in the universe from sending emails after the show and women driving in the snow. That was from Ryan's Rinks. Carl shows down like 200 members. He's an automatic show. Oh, no, come on, though.

He's got so many shows. He's doing just as bad as us, man. And everybody's fucking bleeding. Oh, man, it's because of this fucking economy. He's goddamn Trump. Maybe if he does more, maybe if he does more spotlight dinners, he can really, uh... Dancing with the Carls. He should do it, dancing with the Stars.

Dancing with the Carls. Dude, I swear to God, every time I listen to anything, WATP, I'm like, how many fucking events can you milk these people out of it? How many times do you got to meet Carl where you go... It's their great. They're great events. I've done this. They're great events.

I love that, Carl. Dude, he does, like, one, like, every fucking week. And then he's got him all over Detroit. He's got... Guys, you got to come to the content hotel. You got to come to... All right, I got it. Jesus Christ.

The content hotel is a little much. You got to make yourself a little... Carl, you got to make yourself a little bit scarce. You know, like, you can't... You know, you're not doing a residency in Vegas where, like, every fucking three nights of the week, you show up. They do a couple events a year, maybe. Um...

Zach says, I only brought this comment. Continuing the biggest problem in the universe after last week will be like an abused girlfriend going back with the dude who beats her. Well, isn't that kind of a fitting definition of that? That's good, though. Who's the girlfriend in this? The audience? What's more dramatic than a girl getting beaten up, which apparently Turkey Tom did or something?

Oh, come on. He didn't beat her up, but apparently Turkey Tom was a guest on the show once. We like turkey tom. I love turkey tom. He's getting me-toed, but it seems unreasonable. I'm going to defend the guy. I love turkey tom. I hate women.

So what's he? Well, a lady is going, Turkey Tom likes choking women. And I go, who doesn't like choking women? What do you mean? What are we talking about here? He likes it?

Apparently that's like his thing is that he wants, normally the girl I think goes, can you choke me? But apparently he isn't to choke. I don't, you know what? No way. There's no way he's too big. He's too muscular.

Turkey Tom is too muscular to be choking women? He's too muscular to want to choke women. It's like, I mean, it's just no fun. It's like it would be like playing on easy mode. You just squish right through them. They're neck. I don't think that's the, I don't think that enters into sexual fixations as whether or not you can easily choke them. But what are you like, oh, I'm really trying to choke them.

You're like, ooh, I'm really trying to choke you. And they're like, well, I think that, you know what, maybe that's the problem is that maybe he is too big to be. Maybe he's got to work on his choking technique. And that's why these ladies are getting upset. with him is he's choking too hard that's the big skin might make a point turkey tom that's what i heard i don't know man some some girl it's always dude it's the it's the qi farms thing of like some bitch shows up and just tells a dumb story and they all go oh my god he's totally blown out he's basically a pedophile and you're like what do you fucking talk he so he's how big were her

tits the girl he's choking out i have no uh probably they never they never have good information i met his previous girlfriend she was nice but i don't think it's her i think it's her i think it's some other girl, I don't know. No matter who it is. Anyway, if all Turkey Tom is doing is a little bit of choking, I don't think it's a big deal. I think you guys are kink shaming, which I famously

brought in as a problem. And, uh, let the man choke it out. Let him choke a bitch in peace. Come on. Let him. If a man can't choke a bitch, what kind of country do we even have?

That's a weird. That's a weird fact. Because I, I've known a lot of girls. well not a lot you know some who just needed to be choked and it was just so fucking annoying every time that they got to try to work that in

like oh yeah how do they okay look I'll be honest I've never had a girl who uh and let's be clear I haven't had that many women but none of them have ever asked to be choked you know yeah so how does that come up they just like they're all I don't know

are you in the middle of sex and then they go hey it would be Like do they kind of like do that thing where they like grab your hand and like move it to their throat? Yeah, they're like my throat's getting cold. Can you hold me like this? Throat is cold. They're like, all right. And the sex would be far more enjoyable if I had a warm throat right now.

I just can't tell you how big your cock is. On my throat. Can you warm it up? Like, okay, I guess. And then they start tickling you so you squeeze their neck. It's annoying. They go, can you? Wow, I've learned a lot.

Hey, by the way, this is a different web. camera. How do you feel about that? It looks identical. So that's why I would say it's kind of weird. This is like a high, this is like a high depth thing. I think it's your lighting. It's all yellow. Yeah, my lighting sucks. Well, let's invest in some lighting.

Okay. We can show budget for some lighting, right? I'm going to do the, I'm going to do the problems from last week, but I don't want you to get freaked out because there's a sound effect that I usually play before. I'm sure I'll be able to survive it. I'm sure I'll figure a way through it. Hold on. Can I get my autistic sensory headphones?

Yeah. Give those and put bigger headphones on your autistic headphones. Thank you. We made it. Everyone calm down. We survived. A woman drivers, number one. Yeah.

Fake download buttons, number two. Hey, you told me that was a dog shit problem. I got second. I'll take you. That is it. There's 82 people that have that problem. Yeah, because it's still going on. Again, you're right, and it should be a 1995 problem, but it's still going on. Yeah, I guess they find different places to stick them.

It should have stopped a while ago. I don't know why they even, like, doesn't Google put up those ads? Why do they still allow that shit? I don't know. Then wind at the, and the last one. Wind was negative. Yeah. People love wind.

I saw people calling me out for trying to spread awareness of wind poisoning. Why? What do they have a problem? I don't know, man. I guess, yeah, you don't want your kid to get wind poisoning. You got to look out for that shit. No, I locked it down around here. I got, like, a little suit now.

You got some windbreakers. A windbreaker, I put him in. Yeah. Put a little, a hat with little windmills on it to, to cut down the, cut down the wind, yeah. Yeah, yeah, exactly. How's the dog dealing with the wind? Hates it.

She hates the wind. How's that, yeah. Well, dogs, dogs can sense. Blows them right over. Dogs can sense a poison wind coming. They can sniff it out. So if that dog starts getting freaked out, get inside. Okay, this is, I don't have anything else.

Do you want to do problems? Yeah. No, I don't have anything else. Let me find shit. I forgot to save this. I do. All right. I do want to, I do want to real quick talk about this, though.

Okay. So I want to do an impromptu voted up. Or, yeah, vote it up. Okay. You don't got to play a song or anything. Well. But I wanted to mention this. Trump signs a law returning whole milk to school lunches.

Yes. Now, Dick, do you remember when I brought in the problem of mandatory milk, the idea that the dairy industry just produces over amounts of milk that nobody needs. And then we, the taxpayer, are forced to purchase it

to just give them free money for milk. Yes! Dude, Trump is going around going, we brought whole milk back to schools, isn't that great? And you go, you don't know. It doesn't fucking, first of all, the kids don't need milk. Okay, they should be drinking

water most of them. Maybe a little bit of something to give us some calcium. But second of all, the only reason you're doing, if you read anything Trump says, he goes, this is really going to help America's dairy farmers. Obama hurt the dairy farmers because he stopped giving them as much money for their milk and said, we don't need

as much fucking milk as you're giving us. Now the dairy farmers are getting to sell more fucking milk. And Trump gets to go, oh, RFCK gets to go, see, they were poisoning your kids with the bad milk. Now we got more milk and there's milk. Nobody needs all this fucking milk. I really don't know what the

Point of that one was. Like, I was never a kid going like, man, I should sure go for some whole milk in school. It's this belief that like milk is like the most fundamental way to get various nutrients or whatever. For like babies, yeah. For babies, right. Not for a man. Once you're past a certain, like I think once you're, yeah, maybe like school age children, like elementary school age children I can understand being like, okay, you need a little bit of calcium. you know, whatever.

But again, it's just not that useful milk, really. It's not. It's just kind of like, for the milk board? They're doing this? So we didn't, whatever, we got some good stuff. We got some good stuff, though, like the vaccine stuff, we got no vaccines or less vaccines now. That's good. Yeah.

But the milk, too. Go to your doctor and, like, have you ever heard about taking your kid to the doctor? And the doctor goes, your kid's not drinking enough fucking milk? He's going to die? You get some milk in his diet? No. That's not a 80s, yes. Not in the 80s, yes.

But we all know that nutrition in the 80s was like completely made up retard land. Where it's like, just eat grains. Eat as much bread as you fucking can. Get that bread in you. Bread will make you live for. The food pyramid had bread as the most important thing you should be eating every two seconds.

Bread and cereal. It was like, just put grains in your mouth until you die. Like that's, that was 80s nutrition. And part of that again was we had a grain surplus. So the fucking grain All the grain farmers were like Hey can you guys get people to eat more Fucking bran and cereal and whatever the fuck?

Yeah sure Yeah Let's put it on like a pyramid That'd be great The fact that they Tell people to eat fish at all When again All the fish are contaminated with mercury

And if you eat fish more than three times a week You will get mercury poisoning And your brain will start to deteriorate You know the food pyramid Have we done that yet? That is really like We've not done that. The food pyramid was the beginning of a whole lot of fucked up subversive shit.

Because that was the first thing that they taught to children and then learned that like 20 years later, everyone would be indoctrinated with this. And that's when, that's when like, that's when everybody took no. Black people, Israel, they're like, oh, shit. We can just, if we start hammering them young, if we have like a food pyramid, but we put. put the Holocaust right on top, then we own these people. We own their ass for the rest of their lives. Dude, it's weird fucking indoctrination starting at a weird. Now, have you seen the new food pyramid that RFK made?

Yeah, it's awesome. Meets right on top. I think it's spaced. It's flipped over. Yeah, meats at the top, eat real food. I'm trying to get a picture of it here. Yeah, it's cool. But even this, I go, is this correct, man?

Like, yeah. Is the whole, yeah, is the whole concept of a, here's the problem. I don't think the government has ever proven itself to really care about our health in a meaningful way. Here's the new food pyramid I just brought up. Okay, let's see it. Okay, the government has proven itself that it's like, cool. Yeah, okay, we care about your health, but also we care about various industrial agriculture concerns. Oh, come on.

Vegetables and fruits? There you go. Is corn on here? Okay, the only thing I'll say is The fact that there's not Corn anywhere on here gives me hope. Now, if there was corn on the food pyramid Because corn is one of the

The classic Oh my God, what do we do with all this corn? We have to convince people to eat all this fucking corn Because we can't stop growing it. I will say there's no corn on the new food pyramid. I thought there's corn. This is a peanut. They got bananas.

That's close. It looks similar. They got bananas. Yeah. You got an egg, a fried egg. So you don't think it's something else. I don't know why it's. It's got to be fried.

And then you got a whole grain all the way at the bottom. And it's fancy bread. It's not any kind of bread that a poor person would buy. It's like a fancy piece of sourdough. It's got that little cut top across the thing. Yeah. It doesn't fit in the toaster.

That's how you know it's classy bread. And they got a whole deep fried chicken at the top or turkey. Well, that was the thing they put out. It is, okay, here is something that's curious is, did you see the quote yesterday? the government wants you to eat a piece of chicken, a piece of broccoli, and a corn tortilla. That's their ideal poor person meal. A tortilla? Yeah, did you see this? They said, listen, everybody's saying they can't afford food, but we run studies. And for just $3 a day,

you can have a piece of chicken, a piece of broccoli, a corn tortilla, and something else. This was the actual quote from the government. And I said, oh God, what the government's telling you to eat one piece of chicken and one broccoli and not worry about inflation otherwise. We're kind of fucked. It is curious that in the new food pyramid there is chicken right next to broccoli and they're like,

yeah, you don't need anything. You don't need money to get anything nice. Just eat chicken. What's better than chicken? What's better than chicken? Literally everything else on this page is better than chicken. No one's going to eat a whole banana for dinner. No one's going to eat a I know you Mexicans

soak the fucking thing and like juices all fucking day long. That beer shit. But, yeah, chicken sucks. We know it. Is that your problem? The food pyramid? What is my problem?

No, that's not my problem. My problem's... Go forward expectations. Here's somebody. Here's somebody. What's his name? Kai Sinat. Yeah.

Is this a black problem? I don't know. I mean, it's just a reading problem. All right, good. Because I might also have a blank. Kai Sanat. Kai Sanat, he's some sort of a streamer, I guess. Here's him trying to read.

Oh, no. Spontinent. How do I pronounce that? Oh, no. How does he pronounce it, Vito? Audience, do you got a suggestion? Real quick, do you have something playing where you got a tiny bit of echo, but I don't think it's a big deal.

do? Yeah, I don't know. I probably mapped this wrong. Might be coming back through. Play it again? Spontinent. No, it's fine. Spontinent.

How do I pronounce that? It's fine. Do you have a guess what he's trying to say? I think he's trying to say spontaneously. Spontaneously? Yeah. Now that's a real brain buster. Spontas.

Okay. Spotted an aeneously? Spotted an aeneously? What does that mean? Let's see the whole thing. Spontentantantin. Spontaneity? How do I pronounce that? Spontaneity?

Spontinity. Spontinity. Yeah. Spontinity. Yeah, that's pretty good. You know, you always hear that. Spontinity. Spawn. Wasn't that one of the spawn villains when he that came out of hell? Spontinity. Spontities?

Yeah, it was like two spons. I want to, I get to look at how it's pronounced it even means. Spontaneity. Spontaneity. The condition of being. spontaneous spontaneity spontaneity Mothaqar you don't know what the condition of being spontaneous is don't just go oh if you didn't know what spontaneity was you don't know what the

condition of being spontaneous is it seems like he knew spontaneous and spontaneity of life Jesus hardly such questions set up of cold today junior bro he's reading the curves of the letters what the fuck You know, some people, uh, dyslexia is common among, you know. Oh, dude. That's the, that's the fucking best part. I was dyslexic too.

Dicotomy. Dicotomy. That's a hard word. I can understand that. A division or dicta, dictumidiv. Between two things that are or represented as being opposed or entirely different. Hmm. Huh.

Repeated branching into two equal. How old is, I mean, look. Certain people don't read, you know. It's dichotomous. Some people like to read. Some people maybe later on in life start learning how to read. I don't fucking know. Do they live stream it?

It's like I'm watching somebody play guitar for the first time. Dirt. Dirt.D.D.D. Except it's reading. Yeah. Well, I mean, so how are people reacting to this? So here's why I thought. This is Erica Donald. It's like the wife of this retard running for governor of Florida. And she says, My 14-year-old son is upset that Kai Sanat isn't streaming anymore.

That's this guy. That's Floyd Maryweather here. For those who don't follow, Kai is one of the most successful streamers in the world. Young, wildly popular, very wealthy, who's stepping back to focus on education and personal growth. Bro, learning how to read is not education and personal growth. I told my son.

She told her son that what he's doing here is admirable. Walking away from something lucrative To pursue purpose takes maturity Motherfucker, you can't fucking read Purpose is more satisfying than money And choosing to keep learning publicly Is a powerful example I'm rooting for him

So I mean, how old is this guy He's like, isn't he like in his mid-20s or something? He's too old to be Guy Senate is 24 years old And it says he's 5 foot 3 Which is shocking but okay.

I think, so here's the problem. And it's not, how do I put this? Remember Nick Cannon? Yeah. So there's like some like young guys. Do you see that? The Jews gave him a stack of books as punishment that he had to read. Well, that's...

You see that? Because they saw this, he's like, fuck, I'm going to be on Google all day. Looking at these words. Senag Synagg Synagg Synagg Synagg

Synagg of Seteen Hauteen Halla Hala Demoor What? Okay

So like Nick Cannon was a guy I think it was like a Disney star or whatever And these guys You know Everyone goes Hey I like watching this guy

Dancing around You know Being animated Big energy Right Right And then at some point like they decide

but I want to be a scholar and you're like well you're not though and you never will be you can't worry about it yeah you can't read you're not like dude there's certain people on the search you're an entertainer you haven't heard that word before spot naity what

and then like dichotomy I'll give you but shit spontaneity I don't know maybe it's like this like desire for like some sort of weird level of respect yeah but like you you would watch Nick Kennedy again he was like hosting like America's Got Talent. He's just like,

oh my God, look at this guy dancing. This is crazy. Like, okay, the perfect guy is Steve Harvey. Steve Harvey at no point said, I got to be recognized as a great fucking mind. He just said, top five answers on the board. What's something your wife wants to do at night? Her ass. Have sex? Have sex.

And you're like, yeah, see, Steve Harvey just figured out, I don't need to be recognized as a great mind. I don't need to be a scholar. I'm just here to entertain and have fun and make jokes. And then a guy like Nick Cannon gets on a... That mustache just keeps him in check. No one's ever going to take him seriously with that big fucking mustache. Steve Harvey's great, man.

I think I've talked about this, but you remember that comedians and cars getting coffee? Yeah. Watch the Steve Harvey episode where I gained... I know you don't want to, but I gained this weird respect for Steve Harvey. I think I told this already where Seinfeld's like, so you had that controversy recently or something where like,

I guess he had made fun of a retarded kid or there was a retarded kid on his show or whatever. He's like, so how did that work out? He's like, ah, you just apologize to these white bitches and they get over it in two seconds. And I was like, oh my, why? I was like, Steve Harvey's great. Like, he's like, yeah, I play the fucking game.

I don't, who gives a shit? Yeah, I made fun of a retarded kid, whatever. And I'm like, okay, all right, Steve Harvey. Yeah, I'm going to watch that between 30-second installment of Stranger Things. Well, that's the thing is that most episodes are awful. But again, Nick Cannon, a guy who

couldn't just settle for, hey, I'm dancing, I'm having fun. He has to get on a podcast and start telling you how the Jews are... It's always the Jews. What is it about black intellectuals? And they go, I know what the smartest thing I could talk about is, the Jews. Every time.

It's like their short cut. Because they're skipping the white people, oppressing him and going up one tier to the to the Jews. That's what they're pulled, they're vaulting over. They've become so unoppressed and successful that they see themselves as white. So they're moving up a level. Anytime

you have a, like a black entertainer speaking like, you know, trying to sound, you know, like worldly or whatever he goes, well, the problem is, problem is the Jews, of course. And you go, why is it, this like, the only topic you guys got for every, every time.

What do you, like, what did you think about that childish Gambino? Remember Troy from community? Oh yeah, that this is America's shit? I hated that. Yeah. I hated it because everyone was gushing over it and saying how like important it was.

And there was some kind, I forget what kind of imagery it was, but it was some kind of like. He's just people getting shot. Yeah. Yeah, it was some kind of like, look at my struggle, shit. Give me a fucking break, dude.

He was another guy who'd go, hey dude, you're pretty funny. You're good on the show. You know, you're like a good comedic entertainment. He goes, yeah, but like, I got like stuff. I got to get off my chest about America. And, like, I read books and shit. And you're like, I mean, he probably doesn't talk like that.

But you're still like, I don't know, man. I kind of just liked you when you're the funny guy. Now you've got to be like a fucking rapper and, oh, you know, I'm speaking about the discourse. Intelligent. I would just picture Danny Glover from Lethal Weapon talking to Riggs going like, oh, yeah, yeah, sure, yeah, right. So it ruined it for me. The best, uh, the best example, though, of a black guy who actually is. smart and like uh but doesn't know okay 50 cent is great 50 cents the best 50 cents

incredible he's like you know he's smart because he will insult people and not explain why it's funny he'll say like um uh there was god there was some some interview i was watching him on and somebody was they were looking all strung out like uh uh uh baskiot or something he's like he's looking like a gay french painter and i was like there is zero people there is is zero to 0.001% of people in your audience. Just me who understands that insult 50 cents. Did you ever see 50 cent calling out Floyd Mayweather during the Ice Bucket Challenge era? Yeah.

Where he goes, fuck this ice bucket he tosses. He goes, nigga, I will give you $50 a page to read a page out of a Harry Potter book. No, it was like $50,000. It was like a million dollars or something like that. He's like, I'll give you a million dollars to read one page from a Harry Potter book. book and I went, that is the funniest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life.

50 cents always plays up. Like he always, he always plays to how smart that he is. Not like down or lower. He doesn't lord it. He doesn't like lord it over you and go, man, you got to listen to me about the Jews or whatever else. It's like, he's funny about it.

Yeah, he's just like, you're a fucking idiot. Fuck you. I'm going to send Diddy to prison for the rest of his life. Here, can we play? Can we play? Can we play 50 cent challenging Floyd Mayweather real quick? Because this is my, I have it queued up here. This is the greatest, the greatest thing anyone's ever done. Here is 50 cent doing the ice bucket challenge.

For those of you who remember that. This is a special ASL-E-L-S challenge for you, Floyd. If you can read one full page of a Harry Potter book, nigger, I'll give $750,000 to whatever charitable organization you want to. Fuck the bucket. bro. I like, dude, like every like couple months,

I'll go, man, remember that time? 50 Cent challenge, a Harry Potter book knowing he couldn't do it? Fuck this idea. I'm like,

that was fucking legendary. How is 50 Cent not like, recognizes one of our world's greatest all-time entertainment? Is he not? Oh, man. Dude, like, I don't know.

When he did the Super Bowl, he did the Super Bowl. He did the Super Bowl, and he came in hanging upside down. He looked all fat and shitty. He posted all the best burns the next day. It was so funny. 50 cent, I think, is like the Mark Twain of our era. Oh, God.

Did I lose my camera? Okay. Sorry. This new web camera freezes up sometime. He's probably second to Trump for the funniest guy. Funniest insult guy. Dude. He's so funny.

50. It's like, but in the weird part is like he, he kind of keeps himself hidden, you know? Like, he's not constantly, like, I don't know, man, there's a mystique around 50 cent where I go, I think this might be one of our world's greatest living greatest artists. People.

Yeah. Okay. He's what you want Kanye to be, I think. Is like Kanye, Kanye, Kanye is right where I want him to be. Kanye's, yeah. Kanye's a little less self-aware, I think. 50 cent seems to know what's going on.

Kanye's right there. He's right in the pocket. Or he was. Well, anyway, I'm glad Kai is learning how to read books. Yeah, and then in the response to that, there's, like, thousands of people talking about how their dyslexia was such a big problem for them, and they got seized, and then, like, through hard. All this, like, all this, like, I walked to school uphill both ways, shit. Like, just trauma that could stay. uninteresting trauma that could stay buried

or never have happened. No one gives a fucking... I remember my cousin having dyslexia and everyone making a big deal out of it. And I remember being annoyed by it. I remember being like, wait, this motherfucker can't read good and we all got to be like sad about it.

Why doesn't he just get better at it? I'm like, what do you want? Just read. And meanwhile, I was over here reading fine and nobody ever said anything good. good about it. Nobody ever said, hey, look at it. He's good at reading. It's always like, you got to focus on the kid who can't read. No, it's so sad that he can't read. This guy's sounding out dichotomy. He fucked, he fucked up two words

in the first sentence he's reading. And, uh, they're singing his praises, right? Look at this fucking dumb idiot who can't read. We should all be more like this stupid fuck who can't fucking read. Well, why's it got to be a video of you going, the cuckoo, Coo cat went over the Fufuf F F F F F F F F F F F F S Spo

Yeah Spoo spoo-Spooh Spoonty Spoonty Spoon-Aidis I think that's the bigger problem Is the The need to like publicly Pull your hands down

Yeah Dude if you're working out Learning how to read Just do it in private I'm not going to see it I don't want to Ooh he's so brave I can't believe

He figured out Spot N80 All by his own guys. He's like, it's like a toddler at that point. We're treating people like fucking this reminds me of me when I was a retarded fucking couldn't read. Wow. Well, that's great. Well, I'm glad

he, uh, and apparently they say abandoned streaming so you can read books. I'm sure that'll work out well for him. Don't strike while the iron's hot. I'm sure that's it. I'm sure that's it. All right, here's my problem, dick. Uh, I've been watching a lot of videos lately

where people go into buildings full of friendly Somalians and they go, hey, the address on the business website says that this is Tom's trucking and towing. You guys are clearly a convenience store. And yet you're receiving subsidies from the government for being a fully functioning trucking business with 50 employees. I'm watching, you know, of course, videos where they go to doctor's offices. And they go, is there a doctor here I can speak to? No, it's just a bunch of Somalian guys and hoodies hanging out smoking cigarettes. Okay, that's a, well, okay.

I'm watching him go to daycares or the daycares. You're like, yeah, you would think there would be kids in a daycare, but I guess not. Maybe some play equipment. So here's the real problem, Dick, is I've spent my life running scams. Yeah. Of all sorts. Okay. I made fake mold removal websites.

I made a low effort YouTube videos. I flip magic cards. I've drop shipped garbage, okay? I made this, I made a comic book that's not real. I've run all sorts of great scams. And at the end of the day, I will have never achieved a level of scammer success as much as some fucking dog shit, lazy Somalians

who just told the government they had a business they didn't have. That's a shame. And that's my problem, Dick, is immigrants running way better scams than me without even trying? That's all I had to do. That's all I had to do. All I had to do was set up a fake business and the government would have given me free money to do nothing. Yeah.

And white people would have talked about what a great job I'm doing helping autistic Somali and teenagers or whatever the fuck. Until one brave woman called one of you the N-word. Then it would be all, it would all be undone. It feels like every scam I've ever attempted to run in my life, it's like embarrassing that I've been like climbing up this scammer, like pushing this scammer boulder up a hill. Yeah. And I could have just been born black, started a Black Lives Matter chapter, got every

guilty white person to donate millions of dollars, and bought like a couple houses. and like a bunch of cars and shit. Yeah, all the magic stuff and video games you could ever dream of. So I guess what I'm learning is that the ultimate scam was not to prey on the internet audience, which has limited returns. It was to prey on the niceties of white, guilty white people who will just throw money at immigrant businesses. The smartest guys are the guys who marry, they get like a mail order bride or an Asian bride or any, you know, any ethnicity, right? Uh-huh. And then you make your wife 51% owner of your business.

Oh, okay. So then you go to the government and the government goes, hey, we have these subsidies and grants for women-owned businesses. And you go, well, have I got a woman-owned business for you? and your wife just sits around and does nothing but because she's married to you Where's a woman-owned business subsidy? Well, they've started phasing them out That's the thing is these scams come and go

You have to grab them while they're still there Okay But there was women-owned business subsidies That you would get And guys would just say You should do this, make your wife 51% owner of whatever your company is See if there's any free female business tax credits

And then you just get those Just because you're married to a lady and you put her name on some paperwork. Yeah. Okay. Or better, Dick, if you, I know you're married to this one, you kind of like her. Okay. But if you ever could get, you know, a Native American woman, the free money you can get out of that is crazy.

Like what? Like what, though? Because I always hear, go ahead, finish your thing. You, what you can do is if your wife has tribal affiliation, depending on the tribe, first of all, you can then. you can then legally declare yourself as part of the tribe. You have married into the tribe and you gain those tribal benefits. So if she's entitled to any casino revenues or whatever like that. No way.

That's bullshit. Because Indians are not stupid like white people. Indians are, Indians are not going to be sending out checks from the casino because you show up and say that you're Indian. They're going to go, you could show up in a headdress. It depends on the tribe. It depends on the tribe. You can be Gerimo's fucking grandson. And they'll say, I don't know.

No, you don't look Indian to me because we're keeping this money. Indians aren't as dumb as white people. Sure, but even if you don't get it, your wife still has a claim to tribal revenues and also any business-related, there's a bunch of- This is a shitty scam. This is why you're stuck in the spot you're in because you're, this is marrying a, marrying an Indian woman. A Native American. Yeah. Is not a good, first of all, that's a, that's a bad way to make a buck.

marrying at all to make money is not something that men can do really depends there's been guys who have

married into the tribe Yeah well They made a whole movie about it That stupid movie With Robert De Niro And What was Leonardo DiCaprio When they all marry into all those Indians

And take their money Now look The point is not that Yes Okay obviously tribes Are gonna try to prevent you for marrying for benefits, but there are still social programs

directed to Native Americans. So if your wife is 51% owner of your business, what are you talking about? I should marry it, honestly, I should, if, look, if we could go back in time, five years, I would move to Minnesota, marry a Somalian woman, and open a fucking daycare and get free money from the government.

Because that's clearly better than writing fake mold removal posts. Oh, no, Wait, you already fucked up the scam because the scam is don't marry them so they can file for welfare. So they've got, you got one guy, they're all having kids, and then they don't get married, and then the mothers can file for, like, max out welfare everywhere they can go. Indians in Canada are doing that, too. They're moving down here, get a divorce, keep it off the record, and then the women are filing for welfare. Look, the ultimate point is that all us, you know, white, Americans,

American scammers are out here doing it the old-fashioned way. Okay? Yeah. We're buying up all the Pokemon cards so kids can't have them. Yeah. We're drop shipping garbage from China. Mm-hmm. You know, we're putting in real legwork out here.

And then the American government just gives money to Somalians who, let's be clear, that they are not selling magic cards and Pokemon cards. They're not making fake blogs. They're not putting it. They're not doing anything. They're not stealing fun. They're not stealing trademarks to make bootleg trademark merchandise on the internet. Like the real classic, real scams that us Americans are doing, they're just setting up fake businesses.

And it's a real kick of the pants to real Americans. It's got to hit you even harder as an Italian. Because you guys kind of invented the community scam. Like pay this or else, someone, one of us will kill you. Pay this or else one of us will commit crimes and do mayhem. and we also own the police and everything else. So just fuck you, pay us. Pay me.

Well, the real tragedy of the Italian-American community is we were the original gangsters, right? Like, you know, we were doing all the crimes and the robbing or whatever else. Yeah. And what we didn't realize is if we had just made little rhymes about it, you know, set to beats, we would have made infinitely more money than just doing the crimes. Oh. Like that's the real tragedy is that black people showed up and they said, hey, we can do the crimes and then afterwards we could go,

I just did a crime. Look at the crime I did. That was a cool damn crime. And then sell the album and get millions upon millions. We just did the crime stuff and made a couple movies. Well, you guys did the crime to white people, though. That was another big issue. That was another big problem.

You shouldn't have done that. It should only go to other talent. But our musical focus, we got like Frank Sinatra singing about, you know, making love to women and pies and whatever else. If you went up there and he's like, like, punch a guy in the face and take his dollar bills. It would have been way bigger. We should have

invented gangster rap and instead we let blacks have it. And they ran with the ball and now there are the gangster rappers. There's no Italian. How is there not a single gangster Italian? Italian gangster rapper you would think at this point. Because there's like

in like the 30s, whatever white people were singing then, there's like, it's kind of gangster rapy. Like 16 tons in, move 16 tons and what do you get has a whole verse about what a badass he is and how he'll kill you and has killed lots of men before who were in his way and that's why it was a hit but we didn't keep doing it

we went back just thinking about pie and pizza and hey look at that girl I don't know fucking about women yeah there was too many songs about women that's where the Italians went wrong is our natural proclivity towards horniness prevented us from bragging about our crimes

in verse Because black people are, so many black rappers are gay, so they don't sing about that shit. They sing about doing violence, doing homosexual. Doing violence and crime. Yeah. They're like, well, sing about other stuff you know. And they're like, well, fucking guys is the only other thing I know. So.

I mean, I am, I am glad that the, look, I am glad that the Italian Americans are still running some great scams. Did you see the casino scam that they all got indicted for recently? with the fake poker tables and the X-ray vision specs. What are you talking about? No, fake poker tables? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they would invite all these high rollers

like tech guys to these poker games. And they're like, yeah, we're going to have a great time. We're going to play some poker. And all the, one mobs at the table would be wearing glasses that I think on the back of the cards Invisible ink showed what each card was.

You know, and they also had like cameras in the fucking table. And you're like, this is so, all right. Italian Americans are still out there. getting it done. Can't, good. You know,

apparently, yeah, somebody saying in the chat, the real problem is that Italians and you, in your mind, you see it as stealing. And the Somalians don't.

They don't have a word for, in their minds, they don't have words like fraud and stealing and theft. It's just money, mine, yours. That's it.

It's, it is interesting. You're right. Maybe they aren't even scamming. It's just their, way of being. Yeah, it's just their way of being. It's like, well, it's not bolted down, so it's mine.

I mean, they're kind of like, uh, I know that was a bad example, but I was going to say, what do they like? Well, I was going to say, it's like how the Jews trick God all the time. It's like they view all of life as like a little game that like,

it's like, well, if you trick the government into giving you money, that's your money. It doesn't matter where it came from. Yeah. Do you see Scott Adams's last thing? That's, we already talked about this on the bonus episode, didn't we? Scott Adams' death was pretty, like, pathetic on a number of levels. I can't wait to spend the eternity with Jesus. Like, fuck you.

That should be a problem. Last minute conversions, which aren't even... That's my problem next. Yeah, do that problem. All right. So my problem is... What? The Italian-Americans... Do we... The Somali... I can't out-scam... trying to out-scam... Trying to outscam Somalians. Failing to outscam Somalians. Nobody can scam better than them. Because they work as a community. They all work together. Like, if you're telling me

about this Native American shit. Yeah, they all got each other's back. Yeah. You're telling me about this Native American shit. And I'm like, I don't know. That's probably not real. Like, it's probably not real. I'm probably getting old information. But they're like, their entire community is working on scamming all day, every day, and nothing else. They literally do not. They never done anything else.

They will never do anything else. But scam and do fraud. And also the way they scam, let's be clear, it doesn't have that cheeky Italian-American quality to it. Now, if you went to these daycares and there was a big guy named Tony sitting behind the desk and you go, where's all the kids? He goes, I don't know fucking kids. Get a fuck out of here.

You'd be like, all right. Now this is a scam I can get behind. I'm not scared of like a light bulb-headed fucking guy who's. You're saying, you're just racist. You're just racist. Like, you're just racist. You get out of y'all. You get out of here.

If you went in, there's a bunch of polywallnots guys going, this is the best trucking company you ever seen. You don't know nothing about no trucking. We would have been like, you know what? Let them scam. I like these guys. But the Somalians are so, like, indignant about, we're not scamming. You guys are racist. You're racist.

They made the scams less fun. It could have been fun. It has, Italians had, like, it's like a con artist, you know? they made it like they made it an art form like I got I got swindled but it was it was an art to it uh this is just like there was an art and there was a culture if there was a culture you know like if we found out the Somalians had rankings and uh rituals and a code of ethics like that's where all the exciting mafia shit is cutting chickens heads off and shit exactly that's it they don't get they got nothing they're not talking about anything there's no there's no culture there's no like

you know you can't rat on your guys or anything it's just a bunch of guys running around going, I told the government I have take care that give me money. Hey. And you go, eh, it's not nearly as, you could never make,

let's put it this way. If you tried to make a Somalian godfather, it would be fucking unwatchable. Yeah. The Somalian godfather. You make me offer account reviews. You make, you make me offer a country refuse.

You make me offer a company refuse. You make me offer a counter refuse. You make me offer account reviews. You broke my heart, Tanesh. Tanesh, you broke my heart. Yeah, it wouldn't work. Not gonna be good

I don't know what Somalian guys call each other Anyway yeah do your Conversion Every time I pull me out They pull me out Every time I pull me out They pull me out

They pull me out I look funny I look funny to you Like clown I look funny It's because I'm black You're racist You're racist Fredo

You race is you turn me in Fredo Because you racist You're racist Michael You racist Michael You racist Michael Now an Indian Godfather I would watch okay that I would watch a guy

way that exists I think convincing all these but is it him telling everybody how to scam people out of gift cards I would watch that their stories just make no fucking sense every Indian movie I watch it's like Who are you watching Indian movies What Indian movies are you watching? They put them on

Netflix for a little bit I don't watch anything coming out of India man I watched RRRR Yeah I heard about that It sucks RRRR did it fucking sucked It was so stupid Well

It was like a Mentos commercial It was like a three hour Mentos commercial That's their That's their thing man Is they want singing and dancing And garbage I don't know No there was I don't think there

I don't know if there was any dancing I don't remember that But like Pretend Slumdog Millionaire was a good movie What the fuck was that about? You didn't like that? Come on man No you don't see like all the questions are like

From his life Yeah who gives a shit Yeah but Chai Boy. It was about Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. And you could enjoy it because it was an Indian kid. So you're like, I'm glad he made money. When I watched Who Was, If it was a movie about white people playing Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, I would say, fuck this guy. I hope he gets hit by a fucking drunk driver.

Fuck him. I deserve that money. So you need to have a good role. I would argue that the average episode of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire is more exciting than watching fucking Slump Dog Millionaire. I'm like, ah, trivia questions and lifelines. It's too exciting. Yeah, that's where the fun is. The average episode of Family Feud is infinitely better than Slumdog Millionaire.

That was a good movie, man. Okay. All right. I didn't know you were a big slum dog. It's a great movie. It was a great movie. And the guy says, the guy says, who wants to be a millionaire? He can't even say it right, that fucking idiot.

And that actor is like a famous Indian actor, and he was all proud of himself for his English. But his English fucking sucks. Yeah. I did like when he berated the Indian kid and kept calling him Chai Boy. Let's see how you do it, Chai Boy. Oh, and I'm like, I'm like, yeah, yeah. I do like, I like that, yeah, because he was like he would get tea at the office. Like, that was his job.

He's like, what kind of job do you have? What is your job? He's like, oh, I fetch tea in the office. He goes, oh, chai boy, chai boy, eh? And I'm like, that's a good insult, chai boy. As you call more people a fucking shy boy. I will say, like, that was, you know, when India had the caste system, just like a regimented bullying and coded into their society.

Like, that's kind of fun. They still have that. They have Slack channels It's like set up by cast At every major Interesting. And then but like So like then do you got to pretend

You're in like a higher cast? You got to like can you work your way out of a cast? I don't think they do that. They'll scam anything but that. They will lie about anything. Yeah really? Yeah. Not as they'll lie about fake doctor's degrees

You know everything except what cast they're from for some reason. I would think everybody all day long would be like I'm a hijet. And it's like you're not a hijet. You're a pajat. I think they can tell. Fuck you. I think they could tell.

It's kind of like Asians can tell the difference. It's like a sci-fi premise, man, where like society is regimented in different tiers and shit. Gattaca. Gattaca. It's a Gattaca, sir.

Gattaca, sir. I want to make my bones bigger, sir. I need to make my bones bigger. It's time for Gattaca, sir. Let me into the Gattaca. Do not redeem the bones, sir. Do not redeem the bones. Don't check the butts?

Do not check the butts? I'm Ethan Hawks, sir. Good old gaddock. Is that Ethan Hawk? Was he in that? You are not Ethan Hawk. I am Ethan Hawke. Scan my fingernails.

I don't know. I think we should implement that in America. I think we had a cast system of America. We'd do a little bit better. Because now we could stop being like, hey, some kids can't read. And you go, well, what cast are they in? Yeah.

And be like, well, the shitty one. I don't care. The whole, like, leave no show. What was it? No Child Left Behind? Should be changed to some children left behind. Fuck them kids. That's what it should be called. Fuck them kids. We should leave some of them behind.

Like Kai Senat, who at 23 years old, can't read a book. Like, it's okay to leave him behind. It's not a big deal. It's not, like, it's not impressive that he's learning how to read at 25. It's fucking stupid. The No Child Left Behind him is Tragizing. It's embarrassing. That's good for him if you were.

wants to do it, but it's still embarrassing and he's still a fucking idiot that he's not doing it already. That's it. No matter what his upbringing is. And in Gattaca, he's got to go in to take the test and he walk, it's like a closed test. Like there's one

last test he has to pass, you know? Yeah. That's like the climax of the movie and he can't prepare for it or cheat it and he walks in and it's just like an airplane bathroom because it's like a toilet. And what? He has to use the toilet without shitting all over it? He doesn't know. He doesn't know. he's like

he's got to figure it out like that's the climax he doesn't know how to use a western style sit toilet okay Ethan Hawk this is your last test this is the last test you can cheat for it and he goes in and it's like

And he goes And he starts standing on top of the toilet To squat over it Yeah that it cuts out right Cuts to black right there He's like staring at him Taking his first step on the toilet And they goes out

He's gonna Oh you don't know You don't know Just pause All right. This is Scott Adams' I guess my problem is Pascal's Wagerers.

Final message from Scott Adams. Haskell's Wagers is so fucking obnoxious. Jesus Christ. He says Scott Adams' last words. He says, first of all, it's bullshit that these are considered last words because it's like a blog. You have to say it. Everything about Scott Adams' death, I went, man, there's a way to like die and

kind of go out on a good note. and you just nailed every pathetic possible fucking way to do it that I'm like, and I'm a guy who liked Dilbert. I was like, I don't want the Dilbert guy to die. I liked Dilbert. I know it's retarded. I love Dilbert. There's something about it.

Just like, hey, the office. What a weird place. You know? Yeah, what if all a cat bird? He's like, yeah, you're going to get those forms in or whatever. I'm like, there's something there. I like it. Look his boss.

He sucks. He's an idiot. Scott Adams fucked up on every level. And starting with the, don't worry, guys, I'm kind of a Christian. I'm the way out. I accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, and I look forward to spending an eternity with him. That's what he fucking said.

That was in his last blog. Is that wait? Is that actually what he said? Yeah, I'm reading it. I'm reading it. I'm reading it. If you're reading this, things did not go well for me. I have a few things to say before I go.

My body failed before my brain. Amen, blah, blah, blah. Next, many of my Christian friends have actually. me to find Jesus before I go. I'm not a believer, but I have to admit the risk-reward calculation for doing so looks attractive. So here I go. I accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, and I look forward to spending an eternity with him. The part about me not being a believer should be quickly resolved if I wake up and have... It's like, ah, dude, you're fucking, you're explaining this shitty joke in your, in your last blog? Fuck! It's like,

you should have just explained the difference between the N-word with the hard-or, and with a soft and with soft r. Why didn't you spend your last blog? See, the thing about the N word is, you could say it with an uh, and that's, that's fine, but if you say it with a hard R,

like that would have been, that would have been more redeeming than this. It would have been something to that. At least it would have been like, it would have encapsulated your life, your generation, and you're falling in that one stupid joke that your generation is obsessed with,

but instead you go to Pascal's Wager, which is like the N-word of, of, uh, four generations ago. It's so fucking obnoxious. So, look, here's what clearly happened is. It's not their thing. This isn't their thing. This isn't Scott Adams. This isn't a boomer thing. But he lifted it.

You know what I'm saying? They didn't come up with Pascal's wager. Pascall Dad. So, Scott Adams cultivated a fan base of conservatives, which is fine. And he learned that a lot of them really love Jesus. On a very deep fucking level. To the point where I think he was getting. messages all the time being like, Scott, I love your content. I love your content. By the way, have you accepted Jesus into your heart? He was probably getting that, you know, you're going to die and burn in hell, right? You're going to die, so you better make friends

with Jesus, because otherwise he's going to let you burn forever. So he was getting that message constantly. And I think he finally was like, you know, it'll just kind of shut these fucking people up as if I just go, yeah, you know, I accept Jesus. But he couldn't just do it as like, yeah, I love Jesus. What does he care if they shut up? I don't know. I guess in his like final hours, he just, Well, also, I think it's part of he's like thinking, hey, I got to sell some books. If you notice his final, his death message was about all the great books he wrote and his new book that came out. And I'm like, do you need to sell some books on the way out? You got to give some money to that whore that left you?

Yeah, exactly. That fucking E-than-only-fans girl. Fucking only-fans horror? Immediately left the second the fucking, what do you call it, prenuptial agreement terminated. So I think he was like, hey, this will help make everybody happy when I'm dead. and they'll buy a couple more books. His final death message at no point does he go

Hey and I want to thank all the loyal Dilbert readers He basically, his final message was like Hey, Dilbert was shit, huh? I can't believe I made that shitty fuck Dude, he didn't talk about Dilbert at all. His whole thing was like, hey, look at all these cool books I wrote And you're like, bro, you made Dilbert. Talk about Dilbert.

He didn't say a fucking thing about, I think he said like, yeah, I made Dilbert. Anyway, it was like so fucking weird. Here, I'll try to find his fucking message, his last note or whatever. Here, a final message from Scott Adams. Here, you want to read his final message?

It's so long. Not the whole thing, but let me see what he said about his books. Loser Think. Dude, it's honestly like he's writing a resume for himself. In the end, the office shit won. In the end, he couldn't get out of the cubicle. It reads like, and I increased year-over-year revenue by 25%.

Here's the only thing he says about Dilbert. He says, uh, once my marriage unwound, I needed a new focus. That's marked the start of my evolution from Dilbert cartoonist to the author of useful books. I can,

and then he says, I continued making Dilbert comics of course. That's the last thing he said about Dilbert. His life's work, the thing he's known for is, yeah, I mean, I still made some of those shitty Dilbert comics.

Uh, but I started a podcast. He's literally, this is like, it reads like a fucking. resume or some shit. Like he's trying to get a job in heaven. It's so weird.

Because I also started podcasting a live show called coffee with Scott Adams, helping people think about their lives in a productive way. It is like he's a speaker at a thing. Like it does not read like, I'm going to die. Post. No.

It's a list of his worst accomplishments and his best accomplishment, which is Dilbert, being like, yeah, but you guys read my books. I wrote a bunch of fucking books. Also, guys, I accept Jesus because, like,

who knows? man, like it would be pretty cool if he was real right. I guess if I wake up in heaven, I'll know. If I wake up, I'll know. I hope St. Peter is forcing to explain, like, explain what you were doing here. Well, I just thought, you know, maybe if he goes, you're going to hell. You don't get to, you don't get to be cute about, there's no Pascal's. Actually, there's a, here's the worst part about Pascal's Wager is we have a second

worse hell for anyone who does it. Yeah. Yeah, you could have went to regular hell, which is actually. not that bad, but because you Pascal Wager guys are so fucking annoying, we made super hell just for you. Just for you. You're stuck, and that's why I'm- Explaining Pascal's Wager to each other

for eternity. You just sit there and say it again and again and explain Pascal's Wager again, in dumber and dumber terms. Well, that's the worst part of Pascal's Wager is that it's the worst game theory exercise ever, because it assumes God

will reward you for duplicitous behavior. It's just fucking stupid. It was God would punish you. Theoretically, he would... What if God goes, no, we just punish anybody who plays Pascal's Wager?

Like, then the wager is bad. You're going to Super Hell. That's why Pascal's Wager is a flawed... There's a guy's going, well, you know, it's smart what he's doing. You know, he's hedging his vets. You don't know. He could get in worse trouble.

This is like a comedian, a stand-up comedian, getting up and, like, telling a different version of another stand-up comedian's joke. It's like, here's... Like, he's not saying, saying I'm doing Pascal's Wager here. He's saying

he's come up with this cute thought experiment and he's he obviously considered himself a philosopher. Like Scott Adams, the whole coffee with Scott thing or coffee with Dilbert or where the fuck it was, all of his self, like self-help, self-health person aspires

to philosophy. Like every self-help person aspires to just like, here's some ideas that will help you. That's why they're valuable. Instead of just here's some ideas that are valuable for their own sake, which is like difference between philosophy. That's what he wanted to be. And he never

achieved that because it was always like here's some ideas that could make you rich or get you a better job or whatever. So here's on my way out, I'm going to steal one of the most one of the most famous um like creation.

Thought experiments. Yeah, thought experiments of an extremely famous philosopher. And I'm not going to fucking, and I'm not going to give him credit. Like that's what really bothers me about it. He had a week live and his idea was, hey, what if there was a trolley and, uh, you know, on one track is like eternal fucking reward or whatever. But on the other track is, you know, and, and I can press the switch if I yell Jesus really loudly. And you're like, hey, bro, you got like a week to live.

We'll call it the Scott problem when a trolley is going down the track and you have to decide. He was trying to, dude, if I bet he's got like a book that's going to come out posthumously about playing little tricks on God or whatever the fuck. Like, just, it's called the, it's called the Torah part two. That's what he's his book is called. Everything about Scott Adam's death has been so pathetic on so many levels and the worst part of it is that all these people

he sucked up to to be like, hey, I'm a good Christian and like, you know, I love your God as well. None of them actually care about him or his work enough to get any of it right. Dilbert? His work or? Yeah. Like, dude.

Have you seen the fucking... Did you see Stone Toss's tribute? No, what was Stone Toss? Oh, it was good. Yeah, you got to look it up. It's like... Okay, the one I saw was the White House. Did you see what the White House posted?

Something about he's a friend of mine or something. Here, look at it. First of all, share this tab. Look at this, Teb, okay? This is the shit that he had to go out on. This is what... This was the people he was working. He had to impress Tiffany Savage with $140,000.

This bitch has... never read a Dilbert comic in her life. Dilbert doesn't have eyes, you fucking dumb bitch. Dilbert does not have eyes and his tie famously always points up. It doesn't even look like fucking Dilbert and she said this is really poignant what I'm doing

here. This is very important. His tie should be even higher up at half mass. These are the people that on his way out, Scott Adams, who whatever. This is who he needed to court with some bitch who is just making Dilbert AI art so on the way out somebody might donate to her fucking politically savvy cash app like oh yeah

I'm sad he's dead too he was like really smart and stuff like oh my god all the stuff he said did he take a day off to mourn's spot out this is not this is not this is so bad this is it's like the COVID doctors when they're all lined up for the superheroes

saluting yes it's exactly like that and then did you see what the here I got one more this was what the white House posted. Did you see this? Come on. That's awesome. First of all, Dilbert never has a mouth. He doesn't go, it's me, Dilbert.

J.D. Vance is awkwardly, he has one eye looking at us, and the other one look at, like, he doesn't know where is, all of them are looking in different directions. Dilbert's staring into my soul. Trump's looking off at the distance. I don't know. J.D. Vance is looking at nothing. there's a sniper's bullet intersecting all three of their heads,

which I don't know what the symbolism of that is supposed to mean. And then in the background is some sort of jumbled up... Channel 4. I don't know. Some sort of... Yeah, is this the insurrection is behind them or something? Why'd they put a watermark on this shit? Who the fuck's going to steal this?

Why would they put this... Dude, rest in peace, and this is the fucking trivia. Rest in the peace, and it's Trump not looking at Dilbert. He's just looking at... something off of it and Dilbert's staring into you like, hey guys, it's me. Why is Trump in the middle? Wouldn't Dilbert, shouldn't Dilbert be in the middle? Dilbert should be flanked

by both of, by JD Vance and Trump, you know, they should be hugging him or as somebody put it, I think somebody photoshopped it, they said, why didn't you put Scott Adams in the fucking picture? Why'd you put Dilbert? No, because he's dead. This is not better, but still. No, Dilbert, it's better to have Dilbert on there.

I don't understand why they decided to have a sniper's bullet intersecting all three of their heads. I don't know what the fuck that is supposed to symbolize. But this is the level of nuclear cringe that we have to deal with. And this was what Scott Adams wanted. Scott Adams wanted that when he died,

the president would post some shitty picture of Dilbert standing next to him. And then, let's be clear, immediately forget about Scott Adams for the rest of his fucking life. Trump is never going to spend another second of his life going, I remember my good friend, Scott. No.

That's not a thing. well he's dead now and uh well he shouldn't have got vaccinated that's the bottom line i hope one day that are you allowed to say that on are you allowed to make that joke on youtube now i still don't know you could say whatever you want about conservatives it doesn't matter um yeah so hopefully one day everyone who thinks pascal's wager is clever will be dead i don't know if we'll ever get there as a species um but i hope so you gotta believe yeah that's my problem. All right.

Dick, I go to KFC. First of all, KFC is way too expensive now. It was like $13 for a fucking chicken meal. I'm not going back. Okay. The other reason I'm not going back, though, is the real sinister problem of KFC and other franchises. They go through the drive-through.

Dick, do you ever get KFC? Have you ever had fried chicken? Well, do you ever get, like, a fried chicken meal? Pop- pies. Maybe like churches. I forget. the restaurants that are out here. It's not an everyday snack.

Let's put it that. Well, maybe twice a week. We'll get KFC. I'm sorry, what? You get KFC twice a week? I was trying to do a fucking bit. But Dick, okay, you go to KFC, you go to churches, Popeyes. Your meal comes with two sides.

What sides are you picking? Probably mashed potatoes and coleslaw. Or macaroni and cheese. Wait, mashed potatoes and coleslaw? Yeah. from where KFC you get the KFC KFC Kohl Sla

I mean yeah I guess What else? Wow you just fucking torpedoed the shit out of my Problem why which is fucking Mandatory Koleslaw What is this shit? It tastes good Who wants the KFC Kohl Sla are you retarded It's too thick

Everything else is too heavy cabbage cabbage and mayonnaise You're gonna pay the money for cabbage and mayonnaise is, clearly the lowest value item on the entire fucking menu. I'm not just like eating as much value as possible. It's like, it's got a taste. You should try to get a little bit of value. If somebody comes to you and they go, hey, you can have macaroni or you can have a fucking pile of dirt, you're going to take the fucking macaroni.

That's just like I'm eating mud though too much. It's like, uh, the chicken's heavy. I cannot believe you're a KFC coal slop man. Look, I like, and I'll be clear. I'll be clear. Some real restaurants can have some decent coleslaw. I get it. Yeah.

But the KFC Coleslaw is, no, is dog shit fucking cabbage with mayonnaise, watery trash? It's fucking terrible. Well, what are you going to get? What else are you going to get? I will get the mashed potatoes and I get the mac and cheese. That's your traditional sides. Yeah. Come on.

I mean, I agree. But sometimes you got a little, you got to have a little. You got to have something you don't want to eat in there sometimes. This is too much food. No, you don't have to have that. You don't need that at all. I go through, I clearly tell the guy at the speaker, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese. But here's the thing at KFC.

They want you to take the Kohl'slaw. There has been at some level a corporate discussion where they go, listen, if the customer doesn't define, that's why they try to default you for the mashed potatoes, which, let's be clear, is also probably the lowest value thing because it's like fucking out of a box mashed potatoes. but whatever. It's not making potatoes there? Bro, that's the worst thing about KFC. Stopped. They never did it.

I had a guy recently. He's like, man, I haven't had KFC mashed potatoes in a while, and he posted a picture. He bought the large tub of KFC mashed potatoes. I'm like, wow, you're about to have a real bad time. And then he tweeted back. He said, yeah, those were fucking terrible. They're not. Oh, man, really?

Oh, my camera for that. Yeah, dude, it's the fucking box. They can't trust the retards. They weren't always boxed. though. They had to be potatoes at some point. Yeah, they were potatoes back in the fucking 50s when the colonel was running the shit and then they bought the kernel out

and they said, how can we do a bargain basement race to the bottom on quality? I mean, famously, did you ever see the Colonel shit talk in the gravy? No. Colonel was on a show one time back in the black and white TV days and he goes, how do you feel about KFC? He goes, I had the best fucking gravy and they ruined

my fucking gravy. I spent years perfecting that gravy. Now the gravies Horst shit! Really? Food video? Yeah, well, I didn't say it specifically like that because it was 1950s TV, but he was shaken. He was clearly upset with the quality of the grade. I didn't know he was a real guy.

Yeah, Colonel Sanders. Hmm. I think I've explained this before, though, where a Kentucky colonel, do you think Colonel Sanders fought in a war? Well, I guess the serial wars or something. I didn't know he was real. He's a real guy, but here's the thing is Kentucky Colonel sounds like, oh, he must have been in like the Civil War.

or something, you know, he must have fought a great battle. Kentucky Colonel is just a term they invented for rich guys in Kentucky that you can just go to the government and be like, hey, I want to be a Kentucky Colonel. And they go, hey, he's got enough money and make him a Kentucky Colonel. How much money do you need for that? I don't know

what the exact parameters are to become a Kentucky Colonel. I don't know if they still do it. Parameters. And you can call yourself, Colonel? Well, you can't just do it. It's the highest title of honor bestowed by the U.S. State of Kentucky. So like you got to do, you got to like save a kid or make a chicken restaurant.

It is given to- Can I save my own kid? No, no, no. You got to save like a bunch of black kids or open a daycare or something. It is awarded to those over 18 for noteworthy accomplishments, contributions to civil society. Remarkable deeds are outstanding service. Oh. I wonder if there have been any recent Kentucky colonels. Oh, hey, do you want to see one of the most recent Kentucky colonels? Okay.

Here, this will give you an idea of what's going on. Here's one of the most recent Kentucky colonels that was added into the program. This is Andy Bashar, of course. Our most recent Kentucky. That's a Kentucky girl, of course. Kentucky colonel. Andy Bashir? Is he Jewish or Indian?

Oh, no, Andy Bashir gave it to him. This is a Pakistani laureate. Is now a Kentucky colonel. Get the fuck out of here. How did he get it? So next time I mean he's a it just says A Pakistani Laureate

I don't even see there's no qualifications given here Do you have to wear this tablecloth to do it? What is this? I guess so it kind of tells you that the title of Kentucky Colonel is kind of just getting handed out like fun tickets at the fair now You can't see what this guy did

Well it doesn't even give us What's his name? Let's see it says the name of the guy who gave him the award His name's Anni Bechir. No, that's the guy who gave it to him. Andy Bischar's the governor. Farhan Wyatt Butt.

No way. This isn't real. You know, this isn't real. Farhan Butt is not a Kentucky colonel. Farhand but is a Kentucky colonel. He's very important Farhand Butt. I got it off the Kentucky Colonel page. No, you did not.

No, you did not. Eric, here's his Wikipedia. You want to learn about Farhand But? You did not. Farhan butt There's a Farhan but Are you fucking serious? Yeah, yeah, Farhan Wylan butt

He's a philanthropist This is Wikiscia That's not Wikipedia It says Wikitia Well, because yeah, they have to have a special one for Pakistani guys No, this is bullshit It's Wikitia He's a Kentucky colonel, Andy Bashar

Awarding him the state's highest title of honor But go to like a real thing He makes well He makes well You got to go to Wikipedia. They don't have Wikipedia for this guy. That's Farhand Butt. It's bullshit then.

Farhand, everyone knows Farhand, but he's very well known. No, no, no, no. Okay, here you go. Here, here. Here's an article about Farhand Butt. We're going to learn about Farhand Butt real quick. Scamsters prey on LGBTQ activists from the South. He was praying on activists and he got an award? I think he got preyed on for being gay.

And, uh, he got preyed on by like, ass pirates or something. What did he? Uh, what happened was Farhand but was invited to a, uh, a trip in Canada. He's gay and his name is butt. Yeah, his name is but. Apparently Farhand butt got tricked into giving all his money to Indian people because they invited him to a conference. And then they told him to send the payment for the airplane in the form of iTunes gift hards. So I think that Farhan But should... You're making all of this shit up. No, look, a person who was... But used a digital wallet app called Skrill

and then would suggest to use the wire transfer services money-Grammer Western Union to send money to one of... All these sites are on are like bullshit. In East Africa. 76 crimes? What the hell are you looking at? Look, the point is that Farhan Butt,

I guess maybe he didn't end up saying it, but Farhan Butt almost got he almost got scammed. That's the last we heard from Farhand Butt Kentucky Colonel. Why is he a Colonel? Why is he a Colonel? Because he built Wells in Africa.

Mr. Beast could be a Kentucky Colonel based on that. I forgot what your problem was. My problem was I went to KFC and they gave me the Coleslaw and I drove all the way home and I went, fucking Koleslaw. And I had to drive all the way back. I got it at my side. Although sometimes the point is also though sometimes

KFC will be like no substitute well you'll have like a coupon yeah no subsistee you have to take mashed potato and coleslaw and you don't want colesla I give me literally anything else and they're like you have to take the coleslaw because again it costs them less than a nickel to make that shit no not because it's good it's not that's not the reason

the best possible meal so they insist no they want to give you a nickel worth of cabbage and pretend that qualified that coleslaw should come free as a completely optional third side where they go hey do you want some coleslaw in there we just

give it away because it's nothing that would be fine and healthy they need some coleslaw they can't be just eating mac and cheese and mashed potatoes all the time get the corn corn's good corn's not as good for you corn's not as good for you corn's not as good for you corn isn't even on the

coalslaw's not good for you it's soaked in fucking mayonnaise it's not good for you yeah but the cabbage you can't call that a green vegetable at that The cabbage is on the food triangle What they should have is a piece of chicken, a piece of broccoli, and a corn tortilla. That's a meal editing American can get behind. All right. Is that your problem? Yeah, fuck that, Kohl-Sla.

Kohl-Slaw has the last laugh. Okay, everyone, go to the thing and vote on the problems. Go to the biggest problem. Go to the thing. Go to the thing. Now I got it. Now we give you $750,000 to read one page. from a Harry Potter book

shit Zai Studio. Oh, I can't read the Superchits. YouTube.com Yeah. I'm not, I can't, I'm not allowed to be in the YouTube, so you got to read all the Super Chats. Actually, I'm not allowed in.

Okay, well, I guess I'll read the Super Chats with my limited time remaining on YouTube. This is your last time reading Super Chats. Yeah, and then it's over. I can never read them again. Okay. Fuck. Here we go. All right.

This makes sense to me. God, there's like a million of these fucking things. Okay. Coup for five. Thank you for not killing the show. Pigeon for five. We are so back. Charles Baker for two, the mod permissions veto. Cabin cheese for five. Ooh, feeling anxious, Vito.

What if I ask him yes or no questions? Charles Baker for five. At the end of the day, the only permission Vito needed was the permission to love himself. The locks for five. Fuck the locks. Not Caesar. Cool for 10. I miss the old biggest problem in the universe. Balder for 5.

Thanks for tuning in. Don't forget to un-like, unsubscribe, and cancel your Patreon. Corny and Tilly's for 10. Vito, your commentary on the pokey theft is illogical. These liberal women don't have the survival instinct to understand alive, a person of color. A Pokemon store got robbed, and I don't know if a black person did it, but maybe we'll find out. assuming it was a person of color.

We don't know that. Who else would it be? It says, it was an armed robbery of Pokemon cards. That could be a white crime. A white guy would know the values of Pokemon cards. Armed robbery? Yeah. Let's see.

Straturgery for 2. 9 p.m. and no show. What is this? A show for late ants. Let's see. Daniel Price for too. Excited for the show. I love Richard and Veets. Bizarre gaming guides.

Hold on. I just accidentally scrolled down. Bazaar gaming guides for two, the ultimatum should be a super scammer release date. Johnny Rockets for five, maybe the real super killer is the friends we've made it along the way. Buttered bread slice for two, stream starts, and it's Vito and Sean. Silverback strength for two, you better be crying Vietz. Bobby Turcolino for five. Vito is the show still happening?

I don't know. Could you call me? Email me too, and then he tries to get me with a TBF, but he fails. buttered bread slice for two. The end is never the end. Drum roll. Real God for two looking skinny tonight, Vito. Charles Brake for two, Vito hasn't changed his clothes in a week. That's probably true. I think I pulled this shirt out of the hamper. Johnny Rico for five. Dang, I wasted literal minutes on the parody song Maddox 1, but it seems Maddox is still lost. Vito has in fact won. Congrats Vito. Not Chase for 20. Not sure if I'll get another chance to donate. So now's the time. I want this $20 to go to Sean. I don't think we have a waste.

to do that. Cardinal Bird for five. Quondale Dingell as the next co-host make it happen. Silverback strength for two. Maddox is seething right now. The Jerry and Coke for 10, we are so back, long-lived biggest problem. King Train for five, here's some money

since you like it so much. Thank you. Cardinal Bird for five tastes good on the bun. Patrick Wrightson for 50. They did it. The crazy sons of bitches, they did it. Love you guys. Lawrence Devaney for five for the fans and the scrella. Box, Kingdom for two.

Let's fucking go. Come fart, poop ass. The Jester mask for five. Why is Fat Maddox wearing the same shit from episode 215? Balder for two. Well, I take the shirt off and I just throw it in a corner and then I take the, whatever. I took it out of the hamper. Balder for two.

Come fart, poop ass. Fratergery for two. Turkey Tom, not choking chickens. This is a big miss. Cooper W. for five, Tom and Bob Blacks. Come on the show. Tom starts choking and secretly recording his girlfriends. Bobax goes trans.

Did you see Bo Blacks has a new trans name? Former guest of the show. They love those new names. What's the new name? Former guest of the show and a bonus episode co-host, Bo Blacks. Yeah. Has announced some updates in their trans identity.

Okay. Real quick, I'll put up their pay. If you can add this to the stream, we can take a look. Bo Blacks, well, yeah, we can still. say, you can still call them Bo Blacks. No, I don't want people to make fun of this. I'm not making fun of it. Yeah, people will.

This is pinned. It's the pinned post. All right. This is, what? I'm not making fun of it. Shut up. You are, you are. I'm not.

I'm trying to find Bo Blacks' new name so we don't accidentally call Bo Blacks the wrong fucking name. Although I forgot Bob Blacks is a fucking zoomer and probably tweets more than I do, so now I can't find it. So this was pointless. Anyway, guys, if you'd like to know Bob Blacks's new name, it's somewhere on there. I think it's like

Zana or Johna or one of those cool Lilith. Oh, go! Oh, I found it. I want to let you all know that as part of my transition, I changed my name to Willa. That's W-I-L-L-A. But I also go by Will or Willem, if you'd like to refer to me in a masculine way.

You can also just call me Bow Blacks. This is changing the entertainer's name or the personal name? Well, yeah, you still, here, I'll put it You can still call them Bo blacks. Bo blacks is still acceptable. But if you were to refer to them in casual conversation, you would use Willa. That's if you want to refer them in a feminine name.

Thank you. But if you would like to refer to them in a masculine way, you can use Will or Willem. There you go. So now you know, and nobody will, you know, dead name Bo Blacks, which is the worst thing that could ever have. Okay, I got it. Kyle Baxter for five. Yeah, I'm so glad there's still a show. I love you both so much.

Fogo God's for five. I'll admit, I really did think the show is really over, but a wise man once said, you know what? Maybe I am a fucking idiot. Chocolate noodle for five. Would you mute me? I'd mute me. I'd mute me so hard.

Johnny Rico for two. Whole milk is the white man's drink of choice. Fashionably unemployed for five. This is the comeback we all wanted. Dejuice for 20. Vito large. Strategory for five. The way Chris Farley used to

cartwheel around made me think he was a healthy fat. Fashionably unemployed for five. If I wanted my comeback, I'd get it off your face. Is that a Milton Burl joke? Peach Hook. Beach Hook for Five. The Food Pyramid was the first in a long line of copes for explaining why kids were getting fat other than the obvious. What's the obvious? Sagi Friday for a cigarette. Have you heard that theory? What?

That the reason America got fat is because of all the anti-smoking propaganda? Oh, that probably played a part. Because nicotine is an appetite suppressant, so you'd bring your kid to the restaurant and everyone would be smoking, and your kid would be inhaling secondhand smoke nicotine, and then your kid wouldn't get fat, and you wouldn't get fat. That's a bit of a stretch. Danger smug for five. Honestly, I kind of agree. It's endearing that he's trying to learn Kai Sinat.

Hopefully it rubs off on the dumb kids watching him. Love you, Richard. Yeah, you guys are all white saviors. Captain Insano for two. Most fun I've had watching someone read. El Ron Huyambembi for 20. Kanye versus 50. 2007, 9-11, all over again.

Spider-E-Ternel for two. Vito opening a daycarey seems like a bad idea. Thank you, go fuck yourself. I'd have a great take here. Strategie for five. What do you mean, Vietz? Eric Chilli has a fake business. And all we got out of it were shorts

with clockwise rotation. Nobody wants that, Dix and Vets. L.J. Clauberino for five. Vito should run a comic book charity program like Eric July. All proceeds go to... And then... Nothing?

Methylvania for 8. You have fake comic business already. Just be true. trans and get some new some bucks. Cameron for two. Gay team guy. California really is the worst, man. Katha the Swiss for five. Thank you. Chris Onion for two. This is actually a good episode. Weird.

Tim Pierce for 20. Every episode's a good episode. Running Man on Paramount. Gay, Viacom, please buy this. Get an embedded BTC Lagude. Lightning address. V4V. Utah-based Armenian for five. Scott Addism is in heaven. Finally away from the blacks. Ian Miller for a hundred money

Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa That's a big donation Thank you Ian Miller Ocklevich for two Scott's in a black Baptist Congregation in Heaven Cameron for two Remember the time you weren't fat

I don't remember Fad for 40 reals or some shit Biggest problems fucking up the YouTube video title yeah Dick you got to fix the title of the episode you made it Biggest set Probloom Well you're You're in charge of the YouTube now, so fix it.

King Tread for 10. Do the Scott Adams bit where you talk like him one last time. R. IP Dilbert, love Ratman, and King Treeto. We're not set up. Yeah, I got to set it up. I wish you could do the cutouts. I don't know. Cameron for two, where's the comic Fatty?

Dem Glifx for 20. Love you guys. I'm down for more Biggs problems. You are's. But guys, lighten up a bit. Stop giving Vito an existential crisis every episode. The Juice for 20 says Vito in charge. An herb beta pass for five

Looks like February back on The man can't keep the piggas down Any more Bird flesh for two Why is Vito so moody? Got to be pheromones I come buckets for two Most people lose weight when stressed Vito did not

And Utah based our meeting for two Says watching Kyrie is like watching Vito diet Guys vote on all the problems The Biggest Problem. Show Join the Patreon at patreon.com Slash Biggest Problem Our most recent bonus episode

It was the biggest problem in 2025, a roundup of last year's exciting problems. All right, I got to go, bye. Bye. Good to see you again. Goodbye. Bye.