The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 218

Episode Date: January 30, 2026

What's up? Hello. And welcome to another day in the life of a party animal. Thursday, man. Thursday. Pre-partying on Thursday. Welcome to the pre-party boys and girls and boys. Get you yourself.

Well, you know, as people bring up, right now, guys are riding to work. It's a Friday. He's going, how am I going to get through this Friday? And he goes, thank God, my favorite podcast, smartly moved itself to the eternal party night that is a Thursday. How am I going to get my belly kissed? That's what I want to know. How am I going to get my belly kissed? How am I going to get my belly kissed?

How's Frogtony doing? He's doing all right. He's making it. I got my problem. He's making his way. All right. I just thought of it. You just thought of it.

You know how hard it is to? Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Biggest problem in the universe. How come you're all, how come you got no camera? The camera went to the Pepsi logo. Hold on. Hold on. The only show that ranks every problem in the universe,

from insufficient land-maxing to high-risk vaxing, brilliant. Brilliant rhyme, Boris. Boatinoff. Nailed it. Brilliant rhyme. Brilliant. Nailed it.

You didn't insert yourself into it. Just brilliant. I'm your host, Dick Masterson. Join me as always is... Theodos Waldi. As always. As always. What did you...

Did you get a new camera? No, no. This one looks worse. Somehow. No, the lighting is different. The lighting is... How do you feel about the lighting? It's pretty sterile.

Are you even building Pentium chips under that lighting? What are you doing? Well, here's the deal is I got... I got a light bulb. Oh, my God, what is happening? I got a light bulb. So do you like this lighting or no? It's a little white.

I would, you know, I'd like a little warmer light. This is the future. Have you seen these? Have you seen this? You're looking a little pink in this one. They now have light bulbs. I can get whatever I want. You're looking a little Paul Bearer in the light that you've selected.

Paul Bearer-ish. Ooh! Yeah, that's better. Welcome to Orange Town. Yeah, those lights are cool. How about that? I didn't know they had this. Do you got something in the middle of that?

Do you got something in the middle of that? There's six different settings. You want me to get back up there? What do you want? It looks fine. You know, that's the problem with those lights. They sell them as like you can have all these settings, but you do it once, and then that's it.

Yeah. You don't really do it again. Well, they say I was looking up. They said, you know, white light is better for working. And a yellow light is better for when you want to relax. So now I can, the only problem is I have to go up there if I want to change it, but I can change it. You're going to die from changing your light bulb. Well, I needed my last bulb was dying and I couldn't see the nightmare that this room has become.

So I had to. It's too yellow now. Do you like the Kenny Rogers Roaster sign? Well, I'm not going back up there. It's fine. You got to put it in the middle. You got to put it in the middle. He doesn't have his headphones on now.

So I'm going to make him go back and do it again when he gets back. That's just a little secret. A little secret between me and you guys. All right, there. That's like midway. That's like midway. Uh, that's too much. That's like midway.

That's better. It's too much. It's too much. It went way too much into the pink now. No, no. It's not pink. You are pink. It's not pink.

Well, yeah, I'm normally pink. All right. Well, I have a naturally... It's too much. Pink. You gotta go back. You gotta go back the other way a little bit. You know, you know what you're gonna get, you gotta get, squidware. You gotta go back the other way.

Nothing. You're gonna get nothing from me. Here, I'm cranking the white balance down. You gotta go back. This is great, even lighting right now. This is nice. One in the stink. It's nice. That's where it's at. All right. One in the stink. I now have perfect lighting. Perfect light. Are you ready for the problems from last week? Brrrr. Search history.

number one. I don't know how that's possible. Search history is number one. Search history, our black problem from last week. What were our problems? A lot of black people, black people. Search history. There it was. I purposefully did not bring

a black problem this week. What race did you ring? Let me see. Actually, I got a couple different ones. I think I brought white people. I might have brought white people. I think I brought white people too. Yeah, we'll see. Not enough manifest destiny. Got to get more of that.

Got more. Yeah, we need more land. What do you think we're going to do with Mars? Something gay? Like, everyone has it. Well, if Elon Musk's in charge of it, he'll probably do something gay up there, yeah. Something gay. Yeah. That's the only reason he's, like, trying to get up there is he's like, I could do so much gay stuff up there. Nobody can stop me from doing all the gay stuff I want. Why do people want to go to Mars so bad?

Well, what I'm learning is that all these tech guys. are fucking nuts. And they all read all these... Yeah. Well, I thought I'm like, well, they're a little bit nuts. They're crazy. They're crazy. They just read like a couple

sci-fi novels when they were in high school and took them like way too seriously. And they read like a niche. They read the shortest Nietzsche book. Yeah. They based their entire identity on those two things. They read like one Albert Camis book and like a little niche. And they're like, oh, yeah, we got to go to Mars.

and it's going to be just like Isaac Asimov's foundation and a little bit of Warhammer sprinkled in there and you're like... And I'm the antichrist. It's not going to be like that at all. No, it's just like it's going to be like a trailer park. It'll be like a trailer park where you could never go outside. How does that sound? Yeah. Awesome.

Did you hear the thing? Sign up. Apparently, all the tech guys have this thing now will they'll say it's going to be really good for humanity. Oh, yeah. But if you ask them, okay, well, when you're... you say humanity, do you mean us? And they go uh, yeah.

And you go, wait, how are you guys defining humanity? And to them, it's like a weird amalgam of like fucking AI robot people that they've decided to just call humanity so that what they're doing sounds better to the rest of us. And it's like, well,

that's not humanity though. That's like robot people you want to make. You can't say it's for the good of humanity. If what you mean is your future fucking nanotechnology robot army that is going to refer to you as the Wayland-Utani fucking God that did birth them into this universe or whatever. They mean anime. They're all sick. That's what they mean for the good of anime. Like, oh, yeah, okay, like a weird arrested development fantasy you have in your head.

That makes sense. Yeah. So they're all psychopaths and weirdos who read a little too much sci-fi. Do you see those guys playing Mario Kart with you? their brains, though? No, I didn't see that. Are they good at it? They're doing Neurlink, and they're, like, crying because they're playing Mario

Carts with their brains. Are they crying because it's so cool, or does it just make you cry? I think that's how you, like, turn. I don't know, you have to start crying. You have to start weeping. It's like, you start bleeding from the nose, and you're like, oh, my God. And they're like, no, that's just how you grind. And they're like, okay, well, that doesn't seem good.

And they're making them play, like, double dashes. And you're like, ah, if you guys are going to, hook me up can you make it like the original Mario card I don't want to play this new shit it's too loose make him play something really shitty make him play Trevor McFer in the fucking super galaxy or whatever yeah

can you guys hook them up to an Atari Jaguar oh yeah I got to suit that's what I'll believe in the neuralink is if you can beat Keith courage in Alphazones with a neural link I'll go all right now it's real now you can start doing surgeries and stuff with it not until then Keith Courage is

No, no, not until then. God, they came fucking sucked. Frankie Tuchins. And it was the pack-in game. What a disaster that one. Stupid Japanese. Nathan Afrat, from not enough Manifest Destiny to searching for porn clandestinely.

Oh yeah, okay. Slumlord says the ending frog, Tony's stuff was Gittardic for his place and fucking up to show. 415 Nick. Vito has shit on countless proven conspiracies that dick breaks into the show. But when it comes to KFC appetizer,

it must be a conspiracy from corporate. Vote up fat brain. I don't know what he's talking about. Okay, obviously Kohl-Slaw is pushed because it's the cheapest thing they can serve. What could possibly be cheaper than KLSA at the KFC? Nothing. I thought it's all the same price, man, though.

Doesn't it like... No, the coal is definitely... At that point, aren't you paid by, like, gas? Like, it's the gas of transporting this shit around or the physical size of it? Maybe, but like, dude, no. Because, like, macaroni and cheese has cheese in it. You think a fresher vegetables are cheaper than, like, powdered glue of mashed potatoes?

I don't think so. I'm saying the mashed potatoes are probably equal to the... The mashed potatoes go hand-in-hand with the coal-slaught. They give you coleslaught and mashed potatoes. Because I assume those are the two lowest... The lowest. Price mixtures, okay? Didn't they used to have better sides?

And then they, like, got rid... Do they still have those fucking wedges? I think they don't want you to take those potato wedges I don't know I think the wedge form is a cost more because it's not just leftover potato gunk that they can scrape together into a goo

The fat brain during the milk conversation Was out of control Fon says boo tetanus Has nothing to do with metal or rust I don't want to hear about the tetanist stuff Buttered bread slice It's crazy how good the show is when the two hosts are talking about anything besides each other

And thanks for the Fat brain during the milk thing You didn't know milk had sugar in it Well, it doesn't have like sugar like a soda. It has like natural sugar. Yeah, but it has like a shit ton of fucking sugar in it. No, it doesn't.

That sugar's fine. You can have sugar that occurs naturally. You can have sugars that... That's not how that works. Yes, it is. You can't have processed sugar like the white stuff that they put in sodas. You can't have that. I agree that added sugars are bad, but there's also sugar and milk.

It's different. It's different sugar. It breaks down differently. There's as much, let's put it this way, when you add chocolate, when you make chocolate milk, all it does is double the amount of sugar. So you already have an equal amount to the amount of chocolate you're adding to the milk just by in white milk itself. No. So white milk is half. Drinking white milk is drinking half a chocolate milk.

Drinking one cup of white milk. No. It's good for you. It's good for you. White milk is not. Chocolate milk is not good for you. RFC.F.K. you fucking idiot.

It's fine in moderation. You can't drink a shit ton of it. It's got a ton of calories. Well, okay. Andrew Stevens says... No calories don't matter now. Dito feels the most safe and most fun

when he can redirect anger to another person. Precious Roy says Dick's commitment to the Kermit bit was phenomenal. Destro says... No one needs to be angry at Frogtony. We can be disappointed, I think, is the correct way to take that. Destro says someone should animate.

to Frog Tony text read into Kermit and Miss Piggy having a domestic fallout argument, LMAO. I was surprised listening back. I thought my Miss Piggy was way worse than it was. That was great. It was salvageable. That wasn't terrible.

Original comment said at first I was like, all right, that was a fun show. But man, I was not ready for the last 30 minutes. Yeah, I don't think anyone was. Yeah, I got a call from Frogtony after that episode. Oh, really? Just checking in. Yeah.

You got a call? I got a call. You got the call? I got a phone call from Frogtony. But hey, I heard you guys were checking out my texts on the show. I said, yeah, yeah. He said, well, should I listen to it? I said, nah, I wouldn't listen to that.

He's like, was it bad? I'm like, ah, it was fine. It wasn't that bad. Did you tell him he's your favorite? I think it came off very diplomatic in those texts. The Yon Ranger says, and taste those puppy nips in the Kermit voice. Had me dying of laughter. I'm crying.

My side's hurt. A lot of people enjoyed it. A lot of people got a lot of laughs. Yeah, I'm glad we read this. My friendship with Frogtony is as solid as a wreck. I am AI wrecked says, Vito not understanding that fats are good in your diet and sugar is the problem. It wasn't surprising me in the slightest. Oh, sugar's the problem.

You know sugar in milk. I got it. The regular milk barely has any in it. because it has natural fat content. Look at this. Look at this. What is this? Simply light lemonade. 25 calories, no sugar. Oh, wait, there is sugar.

I'm a sugar. Hey, lemonade? Enough to counteract the lemon. But it's 25 calorie. It's light lemonade. It means it's got like a little bit of sugar. Well, does it have like aspartame? It's got five grams of sugar.

Real sugar? For times seven. So, what, 35? 35 grams. I like a little bit of... It's mostly flavored with stevia leaf extract There you go.

Stevieia. All right. Steveia. Whoa Deadcats is what happened to announcing the show on Patreon? I always miss it now. Just subscribe to the fucking channel on YouTube. We'll try to push out some

notifications. Freshly squeezed says does Z-Bots actually exist or is this an AI hallucination? I had a guy sent me a very excited DM saying, oh my God, thank you for reminding me of ZBots. So there you go.

See a Nambla guy? Yeah, it was one of my Nambla guys. ZBots? Eric M. Nambla doesn't exist anymore. There's no NAMBLA guys. Did it ever really exist? Was there really a man boy love association?

Yeah, but it was like, I don't think it was a big thing. I mean, most of that stuff was in, like, the 70s. Oh. The 70s was like a big time of, like, uh, Maybe we could fuck kids.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you're right. You're right. Yeah. They started getting really scholarly about it. Like, maybe it's good if we like fuck kids. And then eventually they, no. Like, you guys just coming up with weird pseudo-scientific like reasons to fuck kids.

And there's, they always tried to squeeze it in. Like always. Like I was, I did a, I don't know, it was, I, I, I, you remember that Romeo and Juliet that we had to watch in like middle school? I was for some obvious reasons I was like I wonder I wonder if that was like a if everyone had to watch kids because I remember that girl having huge tits and I looked it up and there was this huge

controversy over her being so young and the director of being a weirdo and as I was reading I was like oh wow yeah that was really fucked up that that was number one shown in done but number two shown in class to high school kids whoa okay

they'll be so often that you'll be so often that you'll watch a movie, like an old 70s movie, he'll be like, that's really cool. I wonder what that director was. You'll look it up and he'll be like, you know, he directed some cool movies, whatever. And then in 1976 he wrote an op-ed about why we should all fuck kids.

And you're like, what the, why was everyone doing this at the time? Like, you know, fucking Polanski and all this shit. It was a weird, like, uh, well, because that was, you know, coincided a lot with the, there was like a, liberals. Everybody in this, well, everybody in the 70s

was dissatisfied with their fucking war era parents. And they started thinking like, hey, maybe we'll raise our kids differently. Like, you know, my dad used to hit me and I'll fuck my kid. Like, because maybe that'll make him. Yeah, I'll have sex with my kid because that would be better than hitting him with a stick. And we turned out that's not better. It's just a different form of abuse. I'm going to do.

So we're going to do, uh, just leave him alone. Let them play video games. That's going to be the new. Yeah. That's going to be the new parenting style. See if that one. works for this generation. Did you ever read Walden 2?

Are you aware of that book? Walden 2? Yeah, you know Walden? Two roads in a forest and I took the one less traveled, but there's the sequel? Yeah, exactly. What? So that's how insane it was. So Walden is that famous, what, like poem about, you know, living in the woods or whatever?

Yeah. Walden 2 was a utopian novel written by B.F. Skinner in 1948. Remember B.F. Skinner, that insane psychologist who told you to put your kid in a box and all this other shit? Yeah. So he wrote an entire book, and the premise of the book was, you know how Walden is this perfect woodland utopia? Well, what if it was like that? But we're all living in a communist commune and warping our children's minds with insane fucking psychological ideas I have. So you should...

There's something wrong with them. So you should read Walden too. It's fascinating because after that came out, a bunch of people around the country read it. It was like really influential. And actually started up Walden cults, some of which still exist today. Like these weird communist enclaves where you earn labor credits by performing tasks in the community. And they don't call that money? They don't call that...

Well, yeah, exactly. They call it labor credits. How much is a six-pack? How many labor credits is a six-pack of beer? Well, the idea was if you do a shitty work, you get less labor. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Well, there are still some Walden 2-type communities.

I think they've abandoned most of the weird sex. What a shit-hedy. He called it Walden 2? You're not allowed to do that. Yeah. You're not allowed to just say. It was. that's how that's how that's what was going on man at the time it's like what if it was walden too

and you're like you're an asshole don't connect it to walden there's nothing to do with walden fucking jerk uh regular community workers are members are known as workers and have the flexible option of changing their field and location of employment every day every day i can be something else every day you can be something else you know so if you decide you don't want to be a doctor that day everyone's just kind of fucked like hey man i'm leading out. It's like, well, I'm sorry, today the doctor decided he's going to pick flowers. Yeah, picking flowers to that, man. What are you going to do? He's got enough labor credits till the end of the month, so he's not going to do any doctor shit. They're like, they're

like, dumb. Like, like, imagine like, imagine transporting boomers when they were the age of like, you know, 30 year olds to present day and having them interact with like modern day 30 year olds. They're like, they would be really fucking stupid. Boomers would be like, you'd be talking to them. And you're like, damn, how are you this retarded? How are you 30? And you're this fucking stupid talking about Walden 2 and shit. What? Do you even know Kanye?

What are you talking about? Oh, man. Hey, I think that's the problem for the week is walking it back. Have you seen the Kanye news? Have you seen the Kanye news? Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. Do you want to do?

Do you want to do problems now? Do you want to do yours? Is that what you're doing? problems. I'll do that one because I totally forgot about it until now. Okay, go for it then. I don't want to kill your momentum. All right. So

how do I phrase this? Sometimes there are great artists who have committed so in such totality of their art that they would never drop, would never destroy the sanctity of their own art form by compromising

in any way. And then there's Kanye West who apologized for all the Nazi stuff and I'm going man what was the point what was the point of the last several years it's like we had my tattoo what am I bought the

t-shirt I memorized all the lyrics to hail Hitler and now Kanye West has taken out a full page ad in the Wall Street Journal to publish a letter apologizing really his behavior you haven't seen the apology letter No. He should have done it during the Super Bowl again. Can you imagine if he got up there?

He should have done it in the Jerusalem Post. I just got to apologize to all the Jews. I'm sorry to all the Jews. Sorry to interrupt the football, but I did the Jews wrong and I feel bad about it. I don't think he can afford another Super Bowl commercial is the problem. Let me see if I could find. After the swastika thing. No, they probably, yeah, he's probably banned from. He could have snuck it in there. I don't think so, buddy. it in there somehow.

Shame me once. Let me see. Fool me once. Shame on me. Man, everybody has a comment on it, but I can't find the actual apology. I hate that, man. Dude, yeah, I got to find a million articles. You search for it, you just get commentary.

Or articles, like, talking about it, but you can't find the original thing. Yeah, dude, or I want to watch, like, a news. I want to watch a video of, like, people getting shot or whatever, and I got to watch a lady talking about it. All right, here we go. Yeah. This is from Kanye West. Here's his formal apology.

And why don't I put this up on the screen so everybody can see Kanye is very contrite. Here we go. This is a picture, of course, of Mr. Kanye West. I am not a Nazi or Nazi Semites. And I love Jewish people. As he says, to those I've hurt. I don't think this visual is helping anybody. I'll be honest.

Well, I don't know. Maybe not. Whatever. To those I've heard 25 years ago, I was in a car accident that broke my jaw and caused injury to the right frontal lobe of my brain. A car accident made him racist. Car accident made him hate the Jews as it often does. Every time I crash my car, I go, those Jews at the fucking insurance company are going to raise my rates.

Comprehensive scans were not done. And the possibility of a frontal lobe swelling injury was never raised. Are you fucking serious? This is Kanye's apology? His brain got broken so hard that he just learned

hate Manuel Goldstein and Net and Yahoo and all that stuff. The scariest thing about this disorder because again he is bipolar

now is how persuasive it tells you. I lost touch with the reality. Things got worse the longer I ignored the problem and looking back

I became detached from my true self in that fractured state and here's the worst part is apologizing for all the cool stuff he did. I gravitated towards the most destructive symbol I could find, the swastika,

and even sold T-shirts bearing it. One of the most difficult aspects of having bipolar type one are the disconnected moments that lead to poor judgment and reckless behavior that often feels like an out-of-body experience. It doesn't excuse what I did, but I am not a Nazi or anti-Semite. I love Jewish people. Real quick to the black community, which held me down through all the highs and lows. I don't know if holding you down is what you want to use there. Dude, that's my problem, actually.

Keep going. People using the wrong phrasing. The black community is unquestionably the foundation of who I am. I'm sorry to have let you down. I love us, meaning black people. In 2025, I fell into a four-month-long manic episode of psychotic, paranoid, and impulsive behavior that destroyed my life. Who was he hanging out with in 2025?

This is what he made Hell Hitler, right? Wasn't that early? Yeah. And then hold on the end of it. Having bipolar... Okay, he's just talking about bipolar. Oh, here, this will piss you off the most, though. I have found comfort, Dick.

He's found comfort. Do you want to know where he found comfort? Between that chick's tits? Well, that would probably be one place. That would be better. I have found comfort in Reddit forums of all places. Different people speak of being in manicur depressive episodes of a similar nature. I read their stories and realize, I'm not alone.

That's kissing the wall on a whole other level. There's kissing the wall. Reddit saved Kanye. Reddit is my kissing the Reddit wall. Reddit's my rock. Reddits my rock. They got me through these times. He learned a lot and hearing other people's stories on Reddit.

He's on Reddit. He's on Reddit. He's on Reddit on Twitter, the Reddit subforum. He did that thing that every crazy person I know does where they go on Reddit. and talk about how crazy they are and meet other crazy people and they go, hey, we're not alone. We're all nuts. And you're like, well,

don't do that. I'm sorry, can you read that again about the Reddit? I have found comfort in Reddit forums of all places. Which ones? People speak of, I assume he's in a bipolar Reddit forum reading their bipolar stories. How does he know?

I don't know. Well, that's the thing. Who knows which part of him's reading? Is that a cure for, is that a recommended cure for bipolar disorder? Reading Reddit? No, I don't think it cures it.

You got to get on Reddit right away. Read this bipolar right out of you. You go on the bipolar forum and you go, are the Jews fucking up my life? And they go, possibly, but it might be you. So he took 20 CCs of Reddit to undo the Nick Fuentes virus that he got, that he caught. Well, what's interesting is he seems to still be blaming the doctors, which as we remember were Jewish doctors. They were Jewish doctors. Are the doctors still Jewish?

It's not just me who ruins their entire life once a year, despite taking meds every day and being told by the so-called best doctors in the world that I'm not bipolar, but merely experiencing symptoms of autism. So let's be clear. He has self-diagnosed himself as bipolar. Right. And the doctors are telling him, no, you're just autistic and you have to stop being retarded on the internet.

Isn't he just like an asshole, though? Like, I don't think he's got any of those things. I don't know. I don't know, man. I think you should go to a doctor and not read it. As I find my new baseline and your center. Do they fix it on other people? I mean, also get an editor because you don't have to say, as I find my new baseline and new center, baseline and center kind of mean the same thing.

Through an effective regime of medication therapy, exercise, and clean living, I have newfound much needed clarity. I'm pouring my energy to positive meaning. art. It was meaningful before. A music, clothing design, and other new ideas to help the world. I'm not asking for sympathy or a free pass, though I aspire to earn your forgiveness. I write today simply to ask for your patience and understanding as I find my way home. With love, yay. P.S., my new comic book will be published by Ripperverse Industries featuring an exciting character. So he's done being a racist now. He's done being a like.

supremacists. He's compromised the art. He compromised the art, you know? Yeah. If you want to come down from the Jew stuff, you can't do it with a Wall Street Journal apology. The way to do it would be to make a music video that's just like, Jew power, and you're running around and fucking firing missiles of Palestinians and whatever the fuck.

Like, you should have went fully in the other direction or anything. You got to read books. They let the Jews, they need you to read books because reading. Reading is the worst thing that there is. And they know it because they got to read for like temple and their bar mitzvahs. So they need you to read like 30 books. Him and that kid from the last episode,

they can learn to read together. They can go, the cuck cat and the dog. And they can live stream it together. That would be good. So what's your problem? My problem is compromising the content. Compromising the art.

Compromising your art. You have this. great piece of art that could have... Okay, let's put it this way. Star Wars. Did you really need to add a bunch of Gungan bullshit to it? No, it was a perfect movie and the George Lucas comes along and now it's forever tainted.

Now, every time I watch the Haley Hitler music video, I'm not going... I'm not going to be Haley Hitler like I did. Yeah, I'm going to go, well, he didn't even want to Hale Hitler now. Now I'm doing, hey, Hitler. I'm like, hey, Hitler. You know, what's up? I used to proudly walk the streets

in my Kanye West Swastik his shirt and now I'm worried him to walk around And someone's going to point me out and they're going to go, Kanye apologized for that. And I'm going to go, oh, man. I thought we were undoing the damage, the racial damage that Obama did. And that we were bringing the races, the black and the white people back together with Kanye's, you know, like the watchman was like a shared enemy. Yeah.

With a shared enemy. But now Kanye's undone that all that. Now Kanye's, well, I don't know exactly what happened. You know, I guess at a certain point you go. You can only fight City Hall so long, especially when one group owns City Hall and the TV stations and the newspapers. Him and Andrew Tate. They both said we're not anti-Semitic anymore at the same time. It's just you try to tell these guys, look, man, it's going to be funny.

Absolutely, it's going to be funny. Yeah. But it's going to suck a lot at a certain point. It's not going to be funny forever. At a certain point, you're going to go, oh, man, this is a, all those things I said about these guys. Half of them are true. Shit. See, you can only have one.

You're only allowed to have one anti-Semite on the planet at the same time. Like, you can't have, so right now it's Nick Fuentes. You can't have, if anyone else tries to do it, they'll stomp them down. They're only allow one, like the Highlander, to be at any. given moment. Nick Fuentes is clearly the Highlander of the anti-Semites. Okay, no one else is going to live up

to that. Anyone who just challenged him for that throne has fallen on their face. It makes sense. Wasn't he on with Tucker Carlson? He said, did you say this horrible thing about killing all the Jews? And Fuentes was like, yeah, fucking, yeah, of course. And I'm like,

oh, man. That's the final boss. He really is the final boss of anti-Semitism. I guess in a way, maybe Kanye's bowing out of the race, you know? Yeah, maybe this is. He's old. So this is gracious. Yeah. You know.

He's saying, look, there's way better Jew haters out there than me. That would have been a better apology if he said, I can't carry the crown. I'm, you know, passing it on to other anti-Semites out there and letting them run with the ball. That's basically what he did. Because, yeah, he's going, frankly, I'm a little tired and a little bipolar. I just want to hang out on Reddit with my other bipolar. her friends. Oh, that's the worst part.

Kanye is Redditing. He's rediting up a storm. You know, it's funny, too, is there's no way he can hide the way he talks. So, like, his Reddit post would be obvious from, even if it was like, spells longer 55. I was like, are you Kanye? Like, no one else talks this retarded. Dude, I am sure they're going to figure out what Kanye is right. Whoever figures out Kanye's Reddit account, it's going to be a gold mine.

Just for the guy who like six months ago was going, and then my Jewish doctor told me that I don't have to bipolar, which is some bullshit. Yeah. It was a Jewish doctor. Anyway, compromising your art is a big problem in the universe. Okay, here's my problem. It's how they, it's how they never let you take your drink from the bar to the table.

What is that? Exactly. why How is that? How is that still a thing? How? Why am I trained to like anticipate it and say

Hey, by the way I'd like to You know, pay here and wait here I'm all excited to get my to go sit down and start eating Yeah I just want to take my drink and walk over there And then the guy would say at the bar Oh yeah This is that guys

Put this on his tab Or do whatever You know do whatever whatever magic you have to do to make it so the tab follows me. But that's not the way it works. You have to cash, you have to pay your tab. You have to cash out at the bar so everybody's waiting for you to finish cashing out at the bar. You know, you're like, I just want to go straight to my table.

And the waiter doesn't do it for you. Like the waiter can say like, oh yeah, go sit down and just give the waiter your credit card. I'll take your card over there. Yeah, I'll handle it. It'll be easy. There's a million ways it could be done more. better, but it's just not. And I don't get it. And I hate it.

Every time that it happens to me, I hate it. It happened to me last night, and then I remembered that I paid, I remembered that I paid at the bar, which I hate doing. So I got up and I left my credit card there. So I said, oh shit. Oh shit. The bill's here for the dinner and I left my card at the

bar. And I got up and for some reason I thought it was, I thought this, right where I was sitting was this cup with a car in it and I grabbed the card out and took it back to the table and paid You stole someone's credit card I stole a big fat black lady's credit card

So So she comes over A fun scenario And she goes, I know you didn't steal my I know you didn't take that credit card And I was like I did I did take the credit card And now I see how stupid that was And she goes where is

And then the guy drops the bill in front of me And it's like $200 dollars She goes $200, $200, you just paid $200? I'm like, okay It's fucking relax they'll just reverse it and I can get my car but she's like oh they're better reverses it they had better reverses it because I put $200 on her car

Yeah and like in the time that it took her to get up And start walking over I went whoop boink I put it down It's like I know that I know they can put $200 on my car I pay no $200 on that car I'm like I know that you're not we all know that you're not paying the $200 Don't we're actually like upset or was she like kind of okay with it? You know with them. It's just never, you never know. Oh, I don't know with them. You never know with

them. You never know with them. They're screaming. They're screaming and it's funny and then they're screaming and they're upset. You just never know. All right, all right. You never know. It is, uh, look, it's easy to avoid these guys who avoid it. No problem, ma'am, please. I know they can avoid it. Who I got to talk to you? I already talked to me. You don't know what difference between credit card. You don't know yo credit card. I know the same credit card. I know my credit card. Did you have the same credit card? I even showed her.

I'm like, look, and I got mine back. I'm like, look, you see that they look similar, right? You goes, mm-hmm. I guess they do look similar. I'm like, why are you... Get the fuck out of here. You think this is the airport? You can talk to me like this?

But in the whole time, while it's happening to me, I'm going, this goddamn, it's the goddamn policy of you have to pay for your drink up here like you're in a different economic zone. If you go from here to the five feet of... way at your table. Well, I'm sure that I hate, it's just these policies where they go, well, you know, my register at the end of the night.

It's like, you know, there's like some guy counting penny is in the back and he goes, well, hey, hold on. There was supposed to be $5 from the bar and it got transferred to the floor. And now, how we don't know who to give what to? Or probably, it probably ties into at the end of the night, they go, hey, the bar didn't make as much money as it normally does. The bar guys must be slipping. And the bar guy goes, no, no.

No, they were taking drinks to their tables, you know? And so the bar guy's got to fight for the right for his job to justify. I don't know because the same guy makes the drinks that I order at the table that was making me the drinks at the bar. So what is, is it really over like the $3 tips here versus the $3 of tips at the table? The tips would be up at the table because I always forget to take out alcohol for the tip. So. It really is just like idiotic store policy. that exist purely to infuriate the customer.

Yeah, when's the bar that's going to come out and be like, hey, guess what? At our restaurant, you can just take your drink to the table and we don't make you cash out at the bar and sit around looking like while everyone is out having fun, you're sitting there with your dick in your hand paying at the fucking bar looking awkward, you know? Well, here's what happened to me is so I'm sitting at the bar and yeah, it is the worst thing where I go, can I just take my drinks and go to my table? and they go, no, no, you got to pay from here. I'm like, all right, well, I guess when my table's, I guess when my table's ready,

they'll call me or whatever. And then we're just sitting at the bar for like 20 minutes waiting for him to call her table. And then I finally go, what the fuck's going on? And I go, hey, is our table ready? He goes, yeah, I called you guys like 20 minutes ago. And I go, why didn't you call us like another time? Why didn't you at any point go over to the bar and be like, hey, are any of you guys waiting for a table?

It's just like, all these, all these, like, low rent staff people just like live in this like world where like the customer doesn't exist and can be continually inconvenienced and just disappears if you don't see them for a second. I'm like have you have you guys ever been hungry before? Can you pretend like you remember what that felt like while you're doing this? Please. Yeah. Um, anyway, that's my problem. Pay at the bar. I was a real asshole recently to a to a customer service person. And it, it worked though. What'd you say? Well, I went to CVS because uh, whenever I miss a package from UPS, they take it to the CVS for you to pick it up, which is a huge

pain in the ass. Yeah, that's the UPS pickup point as a CVS. What the hell is a UPS pickup point? It's like if you miss your package there, you can be able pick it up at the CVS, we left it to CVS, I go, oh my package of the fucking CVS? No, it's not great.

Because I go there and there's a girl behind the counter who's clearly some kind of autistic. Oh, no, but they have, at CBS, they give those people a thousand different things to do. None of it works and none of them know, none of them have training on any of it. Exactly.

Because there's like 80 different kiosks they have to learn how to use. So I go, hey, I'm here to pick up my package and she goes, okay. And I'm like, oh, wow. Immediately, it's a bad start. She's like, I have to help these people who are in line. I'm like, well, I think I'm next in line. Why don't she go

just find my package? She goes, I I have to help that lady with the register or whatever. I'm like, okay, so she helps like an old Hispanic lady with the fucking self-checkout. And I'm being patient. I'm like, yeah, all right, I'll fuck her out. And she comes back and she's like, I can't scan it. I have to reboot my scanning thing.

And I'm like, okay, sure, reboot your scanning thing. I walk around the store a little bit. I come back. And then she goes, my scanning thing's not working. I have to call Craig. And I'm like, who the fuck is Craig? And she's like, I got to call Craig. And she gets on the thing.

She's like, Craig, I need help with the scanning thing. Craig doesn't show up for like two minutes and I go Hey I think you should go find Craig She goes I already called Craig And I go I just think you should go find him I feel like I've been here like 10 minutes at this point And I know you want to help all these people

But I was technically here before all of them So I hate when they do that Put you aside and start doing things You're like I can tell that you're not multitasking Like I can tell that you forgot about Yeah It's like clearly a lot of customers will just disappear and they'll be like, oh, I'll just be quiet over here.

And I'm like, no, I'm going to be like that guy who's just like standing here going, hey, I want my fucking package. Just go find the guy who can scan it. Yeah. And bring him over. And then he comes over. Like, she's like, here's the thing. She has that fucking weird autistic like, oh, well, I'm sorry, sir.

And I go, I don't really, I said this to her specifically. I said, I don't really think you are sorry. I'm not getting a sorry vibe from you. I think you think I'm imposing on you by. just trying to get my package. Yeah. And you, like,

you being like, well, when the guy shows up, the guy will just show up. I'm like, no, go get him. Like, I should be the current priority.

I've been waiting. And finally, the guy showed up and he's like, yeah, she's fucking retarded. He looks, she can't do it in two seconds. And I'm like,

well, there you go. So, uh, yeah, the customer service, I think sometimes these customer service people,

you have to just not, you're not take no for an answer. You got to be like, no. Go get Craig. Go get Craig. I really showed that. Well, I mean, dude, otherwise I was going to be there all day.

I was like, if I was like a meek little just a Nancy boy, I would have been just like, oh, okay, you can help these 20 Asian people figure out how a self-checkout works. So I'll just quietly. I'm like, no, I'm an asshole. Go get Craig. Go find it. God, they just stand there. The old Mexican ladies who just stand there looking at it.

Like, do you really, you really just have, just try some stuff. See if you, you know, feel it out. Dude, how hard is it? See it. Feel it out. They're always trying something. new. It's always some new fucking thing or they got some coupon they invented it out of

their fucking purse and you're like, can you guys just fucking buy? Thank God that blood machine didn't work. Can you imagine what a pain in the ass CVS would be if they were testing blood all the time? Well, the, what do you call it? What was the name of that company? The Aranos thing. Theranos, yeah. If all these people were coming in to find out what cancers they had

from their blood, flinging blood all over the place, it'd be fucking disgusting. It would be so much worse. If they're making keys, printing out photos, picking up UPS, and bringing in vows of blood. Old people are just blood bleeding all over the store. Oh, I got my blood everywhere. They should have stopped that company based on that alone.

What's going to happen? A bunch of elderly people are going to come in here and bleed on everything? No, we don't want that in the CBS. Pass. Fuck that noise. Send them to Costco. I want that at all. Okay, that's my problem.

Costco can bleed them. All right, I got a problem here for you. Here's my problem, Dick. Um, market's been a turbulent lately. Okay. You know, everybody is trying to make a couple dollars before the entire economy collapses. And I've been making a lot of, a lot of different moves trying to, trying to eke out a buck. How many moves do you make every day?

How many stock moves do you make per day? I'm not making that many fucking moves. I did buy some stock today because everything went down. Would you buy? Uh, I got back in on Soundhound. Back on the Soundhound train. You love that stock. Why?

Well, I sold it all because it's been plummeting, but I was like, it's coming. Well, because the problem with AI is like anybody theoretically could make sound technology. Yeah. But Soundhound did just re-up with five guys. All the five guys now are an automated voice thing. I'm like, yeah, maybe they're coming back. Okay. Somebody in the comments has already figured out my problem.

My problem is that the cash for gold people were completely right. And that's it. All the gold scaremongering of the past 20 years going, just buy gold. Everything else is going to zero. All you need is gold. Late night advertisements to boomers going, you can get these golden coins with a fucking Trump riding an eagle. That's better than currency or any other fucking investment.

You'd go, ah, what a scam. What a scam all this gold is. And then you go, fuck, they were right. God fucking damn it. Dude, do you remember what has for gold? What's gold at? How long did you have to hold onto it? Well, here's the thing. Recent trends, gold is currently 92% higher than last year.

It's 25% up 25% over the past month. So all these boomers who are just watching these late night Fox News or God forbid fucking a rumble ads. Just going, nothing else in the world matters other than fucking gold. Just buy gold. they were right. It sucks. You're like, man, I tried buying all this tech stuff and investing in an altered asset classes and EFTs. And at the end of the day, just a big shiny fucking rock was the key to success. If I had just bought more of the shiny rock, I'd be a happy boy. They're not going to sell it, though. How are they going to sell a cold trump coin? How's that going to happen? You just go into the fucking pawn shop and sell it for the melt value. Look, cash for gold. Look, here's the worst part. that all these people were getting scammed. Okay? All those late-night coins.

Yeah, and now they're not. You're like, ha-ha, you got scammed. And now it turns out even if you bought the fucking gold eagle coin at 50% of what the value of gold actually was, you still profited. And you're like, fuck, that's fucking infuriating. But the cash for gold people. You're going to sell the gold? I guess. And go back into regular money.

No one's going to time like the top of the gold wherever. it is. If you don't even have to time the top, at this point, it's up like a 200 fucking percent. Okay? The cash for gold people were giving 20 to 50 percent below melt value. You would go in with your precious heirlooms. They would tell you, and they

would run these things to say, oh, well, they were getting the gold. The old people were getting cash. They were getting ripped off. The old people were getting cash. Some people were getting the gold. The cash for gold people did the best. Let's be clear. They made out the best. The scammers who were taking other people's gold. But they made out doubly

so. Well, no, they didn't, because they took that gold and they made it into shitty gold coins to sell when they should have just hoarded it all. So everybody won, except for the rest of us who didn't buy any fucking gold. I don't have any fucking gold. I got no gold. I'm fucked. You got AI, though. You got like AI ordering stuff or whatever you got. Oh, my God, I'm going to be fucking bankrupt. God damn it. This sucks. All the fucking, I got to hope uranium keeps going up. It's the only thing that's working right now. But don't sell it. That's the problem. you're going to sell it. I sell.

Yeah, well, no, I won't sell. I won't sell. I had some silver and gold, but I sold it a long time ago. I was going to buy physical silver at one point,

but then it was such a pain in the ass that I was like, I don't want to deal with this shit. I'm going to have what. I'm going to have silver bars. I know. You can just buy the fucking silver. But then it wasn't going up. And then all this tech shit showed up.

And I'm like, well, this goes up. This I like. You know? Real value is silver. Yeah. Real value and silver shit. Yeah.

Real value. investor. I said let me get, fuck, that silver. It's time to invest in Soundhound and Hymns is in the fucking toilet and uh, are they? All your stocks are down. I sold all my Hems a while ago. Okay. Uh, Hems, Hems is tanking. I'm big on the nuclear is holding out. I went big into new, I rotated hard into nuclear because the tech people need it. What'd you get? ETFs. There's two ETSs. Which one? NLR and URA. There's one for uranium. and there's one for a nuclear power. They're both doing very well.

Vito Stock Tracker. Vito Stock Tracker. I should have a stock tracker. I'm doing all right. I'm still up. But I'm not as up as if I jumped, dumped everything into fucking gold. Like a moron. Look, yeah, look at it like that, though. And all you idiots kept going,

oh, you crypto is going to be better than gold. So how much fucking money I lose on that crypto dog shit? What did you buy in crypto? Like, penguin coin? fucking pudgy penguin. Penguin is a big time. You sold it too early.

I did sell my penguin too early. How's penguin doing? Huge. Don't look. Is Pudgy penguin really? Don't look. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I had a shit ton of penguin and I said, why did I buy penguin coin?

No, it's down 10% today. From what? It's down. No, the one I bought. I bought pudgy penguin. You bought something else. Pat that penguin is that big time. Oh, well.

Pudgy penguin? Well, Pudgy Penguin was a big... I don't fucking... Why the fuck is it called Pudgy Pangwood? It just came across my feed and I said... It's an NFT project. Pudgy Penguins. Yeah, well, that NFT shit didn't make me any money either.

It wants to buy a fucking flirt. Nobody. I don't even know what half these fucking NFTs are. They're all done. I got a burger I can't do anything with. I got a bunch of fucking shonnies. They're worth fucking nothing. Shonis were only a dollar.

Yeah, well, my flurks, which at some point... When Flecks first came out, somebody offered me like 300 bucks a piece for my flurks. And I said, Are you kidding me? This is the next board ape. I'm going to be on the board ape train. It could have gone up, but OpenC fucking banned him.

Killed them. It's true. That's true. OpenC. fucked him. Yeah. Look, all I know is all these boomer retards who bought golden plated dog shit now look like geniuses.

Because they're just going, oh, look at my limited edition Trump coins. They're worth hundreds upon hundreds of dollars. do do do do do and I'm going I should have bought those fucking Trump coins I should have bought all that stuff The gold people were right The price of gold should be The cost of an artisan's wages

For a week Or the price of a new custom suit A bespoke suit That should be the price of gold An old man What do you mean the price of gold That's what the price of gold One ounce of gold should be

One ounce of gold should be the price of a bespoke men's suit or the cost of an artisan's wages for a week. So if it's two, if it's above that or below that, then you know which way it's going? Do you remember watching those ads? Do you remember seeing those ads? And they go, the stock market's going to zero.

Look at this footage of Weimar, Germany, and the rush of economic decline. It's all going to the toilet. You need this Lincoln Memorial coin. Look at this beautiful. And this gold encrusted plate with a picture of the USS Enterprise with gold around the rim

and you went, who would fall for that? It's R2D2 in his first golden appearance. Yeah. You know the gold Lego Man is actually the rarest Lego man. Do you know the story of the Gold Lego Man? No. I don't think he's actually made out of gold is the stupidest part.

His name's just Mr. Gold. And all the Lego collectors are desperate to get a Mr. Gold figure. What does he look like? Like a golden Lego guy with a monarch. He kind of looks like the Monopoly Man if he was made out of So he is made out of gold. Well, but he's gold-colored. Oh, that's cheap. I hate that shit.

It always flakes off. Here, I'll show you. You want to see Mr. Gold real quick? Yeah, sure. Here, I'll show you Mr. Gold. This is the rarest Lego figure. The Lego people always fight over Mr. Gold. He is a series 10 minifigure released in 2013, only 5,000 Mr. Gold. I've been getting into Lego lore because it's so retarded.

Just watching guys complain. Oh, man, Lego lore is fucking hilarious. You got to hear these guys. Have you seen the Lego, the new Lego Death Star? Not really. It's like $5 million and everybody hates it for years. Everybody's so pissed at the new Lego Death Star. Dick, do you know why they're pissed at the new Lego Death Star?

Why? Tell me what's wrong. Tell me what's wrong with this figure. Tell me what is wrong with this Lego figure Can you figure it out? Wait, wait, wait What's wrong with that Lego figure? Aren't you pissed off?

Doesn't this piss you off? Because all the Lego fans are furious. Wait, let me blow it up so I could see. Look at this piece of shit. This is the worst thing that ever happened to Lego is this little fucker. Okay, it's blown up. Go back to the front.

Yeah, yeah, look at the... There's a black storm. There's a black lady. laser operator? Yeah, laser operator. There's a black eye. Fuck you. Well, that's not what they're pissed off about.

They're pissed off at this one. They're pissed off at all of these guys. These guys look kind of cool. But the reason they're pissed off, you do get hot tubbing stormtrooper, which they like. I don't like that. But the reason they're pissed off, and let me see if they have the C3PO comparison. Wait, let me try to figure it out. Oh, you're never going to figure it out.

It's like impossible. It's not like a different kind of way. they made the figure or something? That guy specifically? This guy? This guy. Why is their fucking diversity on? Whatever.

I don't know. I'm trying to find. Okay, so here's the reason they're pissed is... Just make them yellow again. Here's a good example. It's C3PO. Okay. They're super pissed off about C3PO.

So this is C3PO if you buy the keychain of C3PO. He's got the stupid prequel leg. The silver prequel leg. He's got the prequel leg. Yeah. But here he doesn't have. Here, it's a sticker. It's not printed silver. Okay. So the thing that has the Lego people pissed off is now they have dual molded Lego legs. So this part, the foot will be black. So it looks like they're wearing little shoes. So it'll be printed silver at the top and black on the bottom.

Let me see it. Let me see it. I'm paying. I don't think I have a picture of it with a, uh, uh, Let me see. Dual molded Lego. I don't like, no, I don't want them to have shoes on their feet. Painted shoes. That's bullshit. Well, now, here's what the Lego fans want.

This is what they want. They want little shoes. No, that looks like, they put the shoes up to the middle of their feet, of their leg. That's not even where the shoe is. So Lego fans are rioting because the $600 death star, the $600 death star doesn't have little shoes for. the Lego. That's fucking Admiral Thron or whatever. So they want those shitty shoes? They want the shoes. They want the shoes.

They're pissed. Those look stupid. They're furious that the new Death Star set doesn't have shoes on the Lego people. They're going, this is the most expensive Lego set of all time and the Lego people don't have dual-molded legs. Can't they send them some paint? They're called dual-molded legs is what they're furious about. Fuck off. They're called that. They are? Because they're actually

plastic. Because they're black. plastic. Right. Well, yeah, because it's molded plastic. I don't even like how they are all having like grumpy faces and stuff. Just make them smiley faces like always. So I've been watching again 50 minute videos where a guy just goes Can you believe they didn't dual mold the fucking legs? These cocksuckers didn't give us dual molded legs.

Ladies shit have little boots. This is infuriating here. He talks about it. Look at this guy. Here is R2D2 which does have the back printing which is nice to see. That's nice. And then we have the controversial C3PO without dual molded leg, which is just unacceptable for a $1,000 set. And it's also worth noting that you can go buy the dual molded C3PO as a keychain, pull off the legs and put it on this one for $6. But yet another compromise was made on this figure. Yeah, the compromise.

Here's the worst part of the Death Star, though, is look at this thing. It's not the Death Star. What do you mean? Is that look, it's like a slice out of the Death Star. We were talking about this last episode When they take something huge And they make it tiny It's a dollhouse

Looks stupid Yeah this looks stupid Can you imagine you bring your friend over and you go Hey I got the Lego Death Star He's gonna go That looks dumb as hell This is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life It looks like a hubcap

Yeah It doesn't look like the Death Star It looks like a big fucking The Lungin looks cool That looks like a dollhouse Yeah What's the point of building a little part of the Death Star

And you don't get dual molded legs Which I'm furious about for some reason. Is there the trash compactor in there? Or was that... There's a trash... Yeah, there's a little trash... It's got all the Death Star stuff.

Was that on the Death Star? Yeah, that was. Yeah. No. The Trash Capter was absolutely... What are you talking about? Imperial Star Cruiser. She wasn't being held on the Death Star.

Are you insane? Was she? She was being held in the Death Star. How do you not know that? What do you mean? I thought she was just being held on a ship. No, they were on the Death Star the whole time. She was in a fucking holding cell in the Death Star.

Are you sure it was the Death Star? You thought the Trash Compactor was on... You thought they landed on the Death Star and then went to a different shuttle to save Leia? No, I thought they, like, went to one of those triangle ships, and that's where Leah was, and then they escaped, and then the Death StarC came and hunted them down. No. I thought there was different ships. Here's the Trash Compact. I don't know, like 10 years ago.

He told me a little fork off at the side of the side. off the, look at the trash compactor? That was the Death Star? Yeah, it was on the Death Star. Why would an Imperial Shuttle have a trash compactor? Well, because it's like... The Death Star would have a trash compactor. What do you mean? It's like the size of a city. There's tons of trash compactors on an Imperial Star. Look, look, it's going to compact Lego Chewy. There's a fucking trash compactor in people's houses.

Okay, well, regardless, it's very bizarre that you thought Star Wars was about going to the Dark Star. I just don't remember. And then going to a fucking to a little bit of a different part, a different shuttle later. The whole movie takes place on the fucking dead star. That's the whole point of the movie. I don't know. I'm going to have to watch it again. I don't know if you're right about that.

Look, the real point here, Dick, is the legs should be dual mode. How did they find her so quickly? All right. They went to, I don't fucking know, man. Now you're asking Star Wars why it was the way, how come the space station that size has a hole would lead to the... I thought she was on. I thought she was on a triangle ship. No, they land on the Death Star and then they take a turbo lift to the detention layer.

And then remember, he shoots out all the fucking Camroons. What about when they're like, that's no moon? That's when they get tractor beamed onto the Death Star. Do you remember that? I don't think that's right. They're flying towards Alderon. And then the tractor beam pulls the Millennium Falcon on to the Death Star. And then they have to hide under the floorboards.

So all the stormtroopers who famously had black boots, which are not replicated in the Lego set. Okay. That sounds right. And they go, I guess it's just an empty ship flying around out there, huh? All right. I guess you're right. Okay. What was your problem? Dual molded legs. Wait, was it really? What was your real problem? It was like the gold people, the gold people being right.

Molded legs. And dual molded legs. I think maybe I'll do maybe libertarians. It's a little broad. Man, they're just like, they're the worst. Yeah, we know this.

They're like not even, they're like anti-ice for just the stupidest reasons ever. Are the libertarians anti-ice this time? Yeah, they're, yes. I haven't been following the libertarian. Libertarians are, they're like... Where do I get the latest libertarian, like, discourse?

The New Hampshire libertarian party or whatever? I do, because a bunch of them, like, and me included, kind of like squeaked in to the alliance that Trump had. So now they're like, all lipping off and talking about how this isn't the libertaria they wanted. It's like, dude, are you fucking retarded? What do you think's, what do you think's happening here? What do you think is the odds? Libertarians have provocative take on fatal anti-ice shooting. Are you looking it up?

Well, that's the only libertarian thing I ever see is the Libertarian Party of New Hampshire. Is that like the biggest? Oh, really? Well, they have 100,000 followers on Twitter. So whenever I see any libertarian bullshit, it's from those guys. They're crying about the most insane violations of civil liberties and freedoms or whatever that all exist only in their mind. while like you can you can

you can pick up a GoPro and just go go find like the darkest person around and uncover like a hundred billion dollars of fraud in 10 minutes but then if you do anything about it a bunch of libertarians will go on Twitter and talk about how like you didn't have a warrant

it's like man are you you have like some kind of weird type of of autism this like this is that what they're worried about about? Is it the lack of warrants going around? They're worried. They're worried about anybody doing anything. Yeah. They're the fucking worst, man.

Well, it is true that, uh, what do you call it? Not enough is being done about this fraud shit where it is to the point of like... You agree with that, right? Yeah, just audit the shit out of all of these businesses yesterday. What do you mean? Just go... Get rid of the whole fucking community. Well, there should just be a guy who's job is to go. there and go, hi, I'm here

to see your business, please. We need to answer in any way. There needs to be like a sitcom rules. Or like the guy shows up with the clipboard, right? Oh no. The man from the government is here to look for the kids. But that's not happening. That's not happening. If there was just one guy, just a friendly guy who said, yeah, it's fine. You know, I just need to see the business and your receipts from the last six

months. Yeah. And it seems like that simple line of questioning would probably end 99% of all fraud in this country. It would get it was prevented one trillion dollars of spending. Yeah. And if you can't produce that paperwork within 48 hours, you lose your business and all the money in your bank account. That's it. That would be a fine rule.

Hi. Yeah. Hi. I'm here from the government. You have 48 hours to get me all your receipts from the past six months. And that's it. And if you can't give it to us, we take all your money in your house and your cars. Yeah, definitely. Because you should just have that.

It should not be that hard to get. And you're not going to black your way out of this one. It's not going to be like, oh, I'm black so I didn't do it. No, no, no, no, no. The guy we're sending a black guy. We're sending a blacker guy than you. We got the blackest motherfucker in the universe. You're only asking for that because you're racist. You're like, you know what? It could have come off as racist. Uh, Mojito, Makinto or whatever. McKinth and Mahito. He's so black when you put shoe polish on his face. He bright. up. He whitens up. You know that paint, that

Vanta black or whatever? He's darker than that. You can't even see him. Uh, yeah, I go need to see the receipt, please. And then, uh, if you don't have him, we take all your shit. That's it. Oh, he goes, ooh. Oh, god damn. They're all mad at that Nick Shirley guy. He shows up. He goes, where's the fucking, uh, it says this is a transportation business. No, no, no, transportation you get out da da da da no no you go

well I mean it just says here on this piece of paper there's transportation business here they're doing it with the guns too like everyone's like oh that guy got killed for fucking around like yeah yeah and the illusion is like oh so what so he's saying you can't have a gun or it's like man will you just shut the fuck up like are you guys

you guys are just like you're worthless like all of your commentary is just like it's like fucking stupid like why don't you just talk about like crossbows or something that has absolutely nothing to do with anything that's happening. Well, I think the problem is that the libertarian position has kind of just shifted into, it's like unrecognizable from those, what were those free state guys or whatever,

the fucking inalienable fucking. Dude, yes, that's, yeah, the sovereign citizens. Yeah, I go, wait, I thought there used to be like kind of a difference between you guys. Like you understood that the government obviously has to exist in some form. Yeah. But now you're just kind of like the same as those guys. guys, where you're like, well, actually, I'm a sovereign citizen.

Isn't allowed to do anything? And you're like, well, I know that's not true. Okay, well, that guy's dead. So I guess, I guess take it up, take it up with no one then. Does there's nowhere? Did you know, if you say no, the cops can't charge you with a crime? It's like, well, I don't think that's correct. You know, he didn't have his gun when they shot him.

Like, man, shut the fuck up. Get the hell out of here. The libertarian position is, not a very well thought out position okay I mean because it always comes down to it seems like libertarians just whatever would make

them happiest at that point in time is their position on things where they go well the government shouldn't be allowed to do that but they just want to look better than you they just want to look better than everyone always always like always trying to one up like oh something happened well it would be better if it was done in

if it was done in a better way okay man well that's good I mean, the worst positions are always... Fuck you. I mean, just say, like, we don't want to pay a lot of taxes, and we don't really understand how anything runs beyond that. We don't understand. Exactly.

Yeah. Well, because, I mean, the classic question for a libertarian is like, well, I mean, like, someone's got to pay for these roads, right? They're like, no. You're like, you know, I think they do. I mean, the best example is always air traffic control. and you go, you want privatized air traffic control? Yeah. Yeah, I do.

Okay, so when like all those planes are like crashing into each other because one independent air traffic controller isn't coordinated with another independent air traffic controller? No, because they outsourts it's India. That's why. Yeah. Well, the bad air traffic controllers will just go out of business and be replaced with better ones. You go, okay. That's not really a good thing.

We got to fucking crash before we figure out which one's the good air traffic control company. You know? That's the problem. It's like, don't worry. Eventually they'll be a good one. We just have to go through a bunch of shitty ones that crash the planes into the ground. And that's actually the free market. We'll figure out.

For some reason, they get tricked into these argument. They get tricked into these retarded fantasy arguments of like, well, well, okay, well, what's the most important? Like, everything is the most important thing to them. Like, what's the most important thing to you guys? Well, we could have private courts and air traffic controls and murder should be legal because you pay for it. And then you go on a futures market and bet against yourself. And that'll, it's like, can you guys? Yeah, that'll stop murders.

No taxes? Like, less. I would imagine the, has the prediction market really turned, have the libertarians really embraced that as the future of everything? That's saying it's up there. I don't think so. I'm like, well, actually, you'll just be able to bet on, you know, which laws should be enforced and which criminals should go to jail.

Let me find, Dave, what is that guy, comedy, Dave, that never tells a joke. What's his name? Dave, uh, Dave Smith. Dave Smith. Yeah, he was crying about it. Right. Civil Rights and that guy that got shot.

That comedy guy who never tells a joke. Comic Dave Smith. God, can you imagine putting comedy in your Twitter name? What a loser. I don't even want to dig it up. I don't care. What a fucking moron. Here I got him here.

He's talking about Pierce Morgan. Tim, I wasn't responding to an argument. Here, yeah, he's defending libertarians. Let me bring this up. He's fighting with Tim Poole about the libertarians. Two idiots. Oh, no, hold on. Too worthless idiots.

Comic Dave Smith. Here's Tim Pooley says, Comic Dave Smith make an argument. Just calling it cringe isn't an argument. Tom McDave Smith fights back. Tim, I wasn't responding to your argument. I was responding to you, trashing libertarians in a silly way.

Oh, do you see Tim Poole like shitting on the libertarian flag or something? It doesn't even fucking make sense. If you want my argument, here it is. The Trump administration backed off of mass deportation a year ago. They are not, you know what, this is terrible How is he funny? Is he ever funny? Nobody on that show is just argue about bullshit. All they do is cry about everything.

Legion of Pussies. That's the new name of the show. Is that what he's on? Is he on Legion of Skanks? Yeah. Didn't we go on there? We did go on there. Was he on there with us?

He said that he would have fought everyone at the protest. Some retarded shit. Yeah, what's going on with Man, what's going on with comedy guys becoming like political guys? It's becoming truly... Joe Rogan has inspired a generation of these meathead comedians to think they're political commentators. And I go, you guys got to stop. You're all retarded.

None of your opinions on politics. Like, okay, let's be clear. Anything we're saying about politics right now is to laugh at the people who are taking politics seriously as it's retarded. I take it seriously. But those guys are dumb. In what way? Politics? What do you mean?

All their things they say about it are fucking stupid. Your political positions are not serious. Your political positions boil down to, yeah, just kill all the fucking. Yeah, exactly. What do you think? Well, yeah, that's a good, that's a consistent political position. Everyone who doesn't support me should be dead. I don't think that's a nuanced political opinion.

They got time. We'll give them a head start. Get the fuck out. Very good. What else? Let's cut to the chase. You just got a post a goofy. shit on Twitter and make Twitter dollars

like I've been doing, man, it's going great. I'm making all sorts Twitter dollars tweeting stupid shit about politics. I don't care about half this shit. I saw you get ratioed by like $8,000 to 90. You got... Well, yeah, because I'm followed by who am I followed by...

Changes. I'm followed by End Wokeness. Yeah, Changes. Who, I can't tell you who it is, but everyone should have figured it out by now. I'm actually not sure. I think I know who had wokenness but I'm not 100% sure but I saw me and Maddox

are posting the same shit so he's probably getting Twitter paid too everybody's making money the front page of Reddit Kanye was reading Maddox? Was he front page and I yeah he was on the Reddit and Kanye was checking it out? Something about a doctor Maddox got 1.1 million views on his Alex Pretty post so I'm not

making as much money as Maddox is making he could get the big bag of gummy bears this week that's all I want is the big bag All right, that's my, that's my problem. Libertarians. Fuck out of me.

Fantastic. All right. Well, our problems were the gold guy's winning, uh, compromising your art. That's a good one. Libertarians. Yeah. And what was your other problem?

Uh, having to pay for the drinks at the bar. You can't just bring you to the table. And dual molded, lack of dual molded Lego legs. This is bullshit. They should all have little boots. The Lego community has informed me of this. They're all very upset about it. And I stand with them.

How dare they? Yeah, okay. How dare they? You're going to read Superchats. I forgot to log in. Yeah, let's read Superchats. Go to page. com slash biggest problem.

Go to biggest problem. Go to biggest problem. dot show to vote. Let's read the superchips. And, uh, we should do a bonus episode. Yeah. Next week. Okay.

Yeah? Okay. Sure. Let's do it. God damn it. Sound, you see. Yeah, let's do it. Fucked it up again.

Here we go. I have it right here. Don't worry. There's not that many of them. All right. Okay. Real black guy for two. Well, I think we missed one from last week.

Methylvania for two said this is worse than Turkey Tom choking women. Well, a real black guy for two says, I listen to the frog Tony text read 14 times. Come and Tili's for 10. This is biggest problem is people following for Vito's rage bait on Twitter for Elon bucks. Man, I'm going to make like 100 bucks this month. Just tweeting. Cameron for two, what era do we live in this week, Vito? I don't know.

The locks for five says Vito is transformation into Eric July is so cool. And I love him. Thank you, the locks. Gunny for five says low energy veto. Mr. MRAF for five says we love veto. Glory to the state of Israel, hashtag veto nation. Mr. MRAF for another two says no more yellow veto. Vito, Vito the white.

Hashtag Vito, no, oh, okay. White and yellow. Pilgrim Media for two. I'm happy you guys are back. Poor Frog Tony. Well, he's rich and friends, and that's what matters. Tommy reviews for now. I heard EBS left the Frog Tony green room.

Yeah. Big moves in the world of comic books. Tommy reviews for five. This is Vito. I'm sorry, you're a sigger lost. Glock is supreme. When are you going to Minnesota?

Practice what you preach, boyo. My mom sent me a text. I said, you got to kick more tail lights, man. Kick those taillights. Two K for two.

Orange Fitzvito. He's lazy hairy and eats lasagna. Hey, I hate Mondays. I'll tell you that right now. Cherturgery for... Do you know Jim Davis doesn't own Garfield anymore? Who does?

Fucking Nickelodeon, man. Nickelodeon owns everything. Oh, wow. They own the TMNT. They own Garfield. They just been buying up all the properties. They still, they license it back to him to keep making his comic strip.

Oh, that's nice of them. They own the whole kit and caboodle. Yeah, I mean, it'll be dead of it. Have you ever read about the, uh, do you know there's like a whole Garfield? I love finding out about niche fandoms. Uh, I don't think they do them anymore. to do Garfield cruises. Or you could go on a cruise with Jim

Davis and meet all the other Garfield heads and you know, bid on authentic Garfield artwork and whatever else. And I go, man, I wish, I want to be a part of one of these worlds where it's just like we're all obsessed with this fucking dumb thing. And we're

all here in celebration of it. The internet brought a lot of weird people together. I want to be part of the Lego community. We all go on a Lego cruise and go, can you believe the Death Star with those fucking If there was infinite Legos, it would be fun. Like you could play with it. Yeah, you just build whatever you want.

Yeah, that would be cool. Okay. So, like, Legos are kind of cool, but I don't understand. Have you seen the Pokemon Legos where you make a Pokemon? Yeah, that's cool. What do you mean? No, that's not cool. It's cool to make, like, a spaceship or like a castle.

Making a Pokemon doesn't make any sense. It's like a little sculpture. How does it not make sense? It's the same as all other shit. If you're making a thing out of, like, bricks, it should be like a piece of of machinery or like an object or a building. It doesn't... What do you fucking know how to do Legos better than everyone?

What do you mean? They make all kinds of shit with Legos. I think it looks stupid. I think Legos should be vehicles and structures solely. Okay? You need to watch a little movie called the Lego movie

so you can learn how wrong you are. I watched the Lego movie. That was bullshit. You sound like Lord Business right now, putting Craggle on it. I think Lord Business had a good point. I think, man, did you watch that Lego Batman movie? That sucked.

They fucked that stupid shit up. It sucked, but the thing at the end where they were stacking on each other's heads was cool. I just wish the whole movie was like that. Yeah. Unless Batman. I wish W.B. Well, no, more Batman. The problem was they're like, what if Voldemort and the Matrix was in here?

That was cool. That would suck. No, there's so much Batman shit you could do. Do Batman shit. Nah, Batman's just like busted, man. I'm tired of Batman. Oh, whatever. I didn't watch that.

Let's see. That penguin show, stupid. The Robert Paddington movie was stupid. Robert Paddington. He's a part bear. I want them stacking on their heads and stuff. Who's playing Two-Face? I think they've got a Two-Face now.

More Batman's. They should have gay face. They should update all the Batman villains. What would gay face look like? You know, like, ooh, one side of his face is gay. He can shape-shift into anything gay. You can shape shit. The niggler's, uh, the niggler's ultimate nemesis is gay face.

Or half his face is gay. That's just a regular guy. Yeah, he's just a regular guy. The jokes on you, Batman. Ooh, ooh! Oh, bat's jokes on you, Batman. Gay face, stop talking out of the gay side of your face. His gay face is, half of his face is just an asshole.

It's a big butt cheek. Right. He talks out of an asshole like Assy McGee. That's the gay face. Yeah, like when he's turned like this, he's just like, well, Batman, the thing. thing is, I want to eat your butthole. And you're like, oh, no, Batman. Gay face. Yeah, gay face. Good old gay face.

Cool. Shaturgery for five says, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, Vito, live in tapioca color. JG lover for 10. Biggest problems when you mention that you diet and exercise to a fat person. They say, why you do that? You so skinny. Yeah, why you got to exercise? Lane Steele for two.

Hey, Vito, how's your boyfriend Evan doing? He's doing great. Worldwide Web Wizard for two. Fuck Vito. Cole Slaw is the best thing. Look, good KFC Coleslaw I get. Okay, the KFC Colesla is bad. Hey, I unbanned that guy. I unbanned a ton of people and now they're super chatting again. And the one of them was a girl that emailed me and said, hey, can you invade me? I was like, oh yeah, and then I went through

and I was like, holy shit. Yeah, I'm band them all. All right. Well, money. Congratulations. Coming in. Thanks, Wizard. Yeah, I mean, we've really, uh, I won't even good. I'm glad the money is coming. coming back. What was I going to say? The coleslaw at a cane's chicken for megars is good. Why? And that's the show.

Just tastes better. It's like good. Is that it? Was that the last super chat? No, no, it's not. Worldwide Web Wizard for two. Connie has lead poisoning like most blacks. Stu K for two. Yay changed after long exchange with his cousin. Second Genesis 5 says, I'm just glad that my best friend Vito is having a good time.

Diamond G for two says, I stole my S.K. stonk for pennies on the dollar. Chris Schofield for five says Biggs Problem is watching Vito browse the internet. I had to find the dual-molded legs. It was necessary. So Tertiary for five says, imagine you buy a Lego Death Star thinking it will be badass. When you open the box, it's just a slice, and it chucks, dicks molded, chucks dual-molded dicks in my ass.

Johnny Rockford Tense says, did you see Groypist Frogtony run away from Riley this morning on Elliot Rodriguez? show. Who fucks Elliot Rodriguez? Yeah, I have no idea what any of this is. Coofer 2. Thank you for not treading on yourselves. Pop quiz for 1999. It's continuing?

The fighting is continuing. Johnny Rocket? The Frogtony drama is apparently... Frogtony is or Johnny Rock? Johnny Rocket is. And the Niggler is. Yeah. Those guys are both on that show.

Yes. Yes. Ministry of Dude, they got a nice setup. It looks good. I wish our show looked it. That guy smokes a lot. Who smokes a lot? The main guy.

A host? Will or Till. He's got a good studio setup, though. He's got good lighting. Cody Titus for five says, taking your friends on a Lego cruise, only to see Vito aboard your ship alone would be very alarming. If there was a Lego cruise, let's be clear.

It's going to be the weird guys building $5,000 Lego Death Stars. It's not going to be children. And that seems to be all the super chats. Guys, I think Frogger. Tony's still live if you want to catch him. But we will be back next week and hopefully we'll have a new bonus episode for you. Don't forget to vote

on all the problems at biggest problem.com. And check out the Patreon. Get those bonus episodes at patreon.com slash biggest problem. All right. Goodbye, everybody. Bye-bye.