The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 219

Episode Date: February 6, 2026

Can you hear me? Yes. Boop, boop, boop. Great. How you doing? Good. How are you? Good.

Great. Grand. How's your pee pee? It's fucking phenomenal, man. Phenomenal. Is it? Phenomenal. Are you peeing good?

What fuck are you talking about? Yes. Peeing great. Oh, I heard you got a kidney stone. Your pee. Um, yeah, kidney stones don't really affect your peepy. Um, yeah, kitton's don't really affect your peeing. It's more of an internal organ problem, but they're good too.

What am I thinking of? Chlamydia? I'm pretty sure a kidney stone affects your ability to urinate. Oh, well, yeah, it can. Yeah. Well, why are you making it sound like I'm insane? Because it doesn't affect your penis. Are you saying pee-p-p-

What's out of your penis? Are you saying keep-p-pens? Like urine stream? Are you saying pee-pee like your penis? I think a little of both. I mean, pee-p goes through the pee-p-p. Well, make up your mind. Which one is it?

Is it the penis or... If you have a kidney stron, it means your pee-p-you-have-p-pp problem. You know, you're going like... You're a fucking kidney problem. It's not a-pee. Okay, but your kidney... Houdini didn't die because he got punched in the pee-pee. Look

All I know is I knew a guy He would get kidney stones And he had to pass them through the urethra And his name was Albert Einstein And his name was Pee Pee Pee Jones Pee Pee Jones

Yeah King of the Peepee How did he do? How did he deal with it? Was he okay? Well he would get He had the rare form Of kidney stones

Which are sharp Are there Do they make some that are not sharp Yeah, well, it's not supposed to be like, his was like a crystal, like a diamond, you know, with like sharp razor edges. I thought they're all like that. No, sometimes like a kidney stone can be like a stone. It could be like a pebble, you know? I don't think so.

I don't think it's a pebble. I think it's like a crystallized like urea or calcium. I think there's different types of kidney stone and some are, you know, smooth like curls. like you could skip a rock you're just like you just you piss out a pearl and then you take it and you put it on a necklace you go oh no way you know that hurt but at least it's at least it's nice and smooth why would it be smooth there's nothing wearing it down summer

jagged little pills yeah jagged little peepies and you gotta pass them through yeah so did you pass the stone uh yeah it's fucking great it's wonderful how'd you do it uh just like going to the back And it's just kind of clunked out. It just kind of like hit the toilet bowl. It goes, wee.

It goes, pooh. Well, did they give you, like, did they give you like a painkiller or something? So, like, you know. Yeah, morphine. But like, but they don't give you morphine to take home, right? No, they didn't really do that. No. Well, I'm set, but I know what I'm saying.

I'm like, how do they know when you're going to pass it? They just cross their fingers. And if, uh, you don't get it out quickly, then they shove a, a popsicle stick down your penis. Well, that's what I was wondering. I was wondering if there's like a tubing situation or a sounding type. Yeah, they come in every hour saying like, well, it's not out soon. We're going to have to put a stint in there.

I say, oh, that's great. So you were in, like, a hospital. Yeah. And they almost put something up your pee-pee, but you passed it normally. Yeah. Do people want to hear about old man health problems? I mean... I do.

I'm very curious. They give you something special to drink. Don't worry. Don't worry. You'll get to live all the excitement of having a kidney stone at some point. Maybe I want to prepare for it. Maybe I want to prepare for it. Maybe I want to prepare for this. This will be helpful.

Listen, we have a young male audience. When you start throwing up, just go to the hospital. Okay. We're educating our young male audience on what to do when you got the hurdies in your kidneys. What is with the herdies and the peepee? What are you? How do you want me to do? fucking retarded, just normal, like a normal adult.

A herdies of the peepee? When you got the oochie in your, in your peepee bag, you know, and you got to get it out. It's gross the way you're describing it. It's worse than having it. I can't do my thing. Yeah. All right. Biggest problem in the universe. I can't do it on beat anymore because it doesn't sink out.

What are you talking about? What do you mean? It doesn't sync up. What doesn't sink up? I read listen to the broadcast and I'm late. I'm off by like three seconds on the song. What are you talking about? It sounds all wrong.

I'm not on the beat when I do it now. Hold on, hold on. So I sound retarded. Do it, do it. I'm going to listen. I'm going to listen. It's not on beat. What do you mean?

It's not on beat. It's just a song that's playing. Problem. In the universe. It sounds fine. for you're just talking it. What's it? You. No, I'm completely on the beat.

Go, clap along with the song. I mean, you're doing it on purpose now. There's no way that that's... No, I'm not. Try it again. Clap along with it. Hold on. There's no way you're clapping along with the beat.

That's what it sounds like to me. That's what the beat is for me. Okay, clap along to... Clap along to the song that I'm singing right now. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear retard. That's really, it's that late.

I don't know, man. Yeah, there's no way. Because your voice is fine because I'm obviously responding to your voice. It's the music cue. Why would my voice be different than the music? Because I don't know, but when I re-listen to it back, it's not on the fucking beat. Can you sync up your clapping with me? One, two, three, clap.

Yours is fine. It's the audio you're piping in is wrong. I'm not piping anything. I'm playing it right through the fucking internet, the stream yard thing. Okay, but when you hear me do the biggest problem thing, you can tell it's all. Okay, shout as soon as you hear me. the music shout. Go like a little or something, right?

Ready? Okay. That's right on time. Okay, well, I don't know. So you can't do the intro because it's not synced up perfectly? I don't think it works. You want to try it one more time? I'll try it next week. Maybe I'm wrong. Okay. It doesn't have like a reset on here. Hold on. Here, I'll sing along with the song.

Bada da da da the biggest Bav Bama Bha Bha Bha In the universe It's perfect Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe You can only show the ranks Every problem in the universe

From ants to A's Oh yeah From gold Gold Bugs getting rich To a bartender being a bitch I'm your host to Kmash And joining me is always Vito Too's quality

Hello More problems More problems Am I here I think I'm late Hold on Okay now I'm here Compromising your art

Number one Well that's what I'm doing every week on this show With the fucking theme song Compromising my perfect interest Compromising your art Number one Also somebody said it's also Bitching out

A number of other problems It also was I thank you Everybody who pointed out that it was another problem Thank you Thank you for your your vigilance Your turn vigilance Okay

Can't pay you Can't pay for your bar A drink at the table 44, that's bullshit that that was Second That's pretty good I mean, second's good It's a way bigger problem than

Compromising your art Libertarians They're Gold guys winning in The dual-molded Lego parts Dead Last That's a big problem I don't think the Lego people understood what a big problem that is.

Are gold guys still winning or did they lose it all? It's down. I mean, it's not as up as it was, but. To their gold price, historic. I mean, it's still, if you bought in the last, like, month, maybe you're fucked, but. Okay. Is it worth selling? Yeah, I mean, it's selling all the gold now.

Well, everybody's selling everything now. I don't know. How's your crypto, uh, how's your crypto hold? out. I don't have any crypto. Lo. Vito getting mad at CVS for having to wait. Hmm. What about the people waiting on the comic book for three years, he

says? Mine blowing. MT says Vito's stock problem really accentuates his worldview. He doesn't want to be successful. He just wants people to tell him he's smarter than everyone else. Is that Is that... How's my audio, by the way?

It's great. Was that your stock problem? Why, are people saying it's not good? Somebody was saying it's hot, but I don't know if it's hot. Hello, hello. Test one, one, two. You need to turn him down? I'll turn him down. You guys got it.

I'll fucking knock his ass down. Knock his ass down. Britsman, I'm glad Dick had a kid because it forced him to suffer through this stupid show. Love Roxable. Why is Vito criticizing Kanye? When he himself finds... When he himself... I love when they do that.

When he himself... When he himself finds... comfort in Reddit. Why are you criticizing Kanye? When he himself. When you yourself find comfort. I don't think I've ever written an apology letter that explained the reason I learned that I don't hate Jews anymore is because I've been hanging out on Reddit.

So I think that's the difference. When he himself, not just he finds comfort in Reddit, he himself. Yeah. Dr. Till says y'all's assessment is fair. I do smoke way too much And my setup is nice Lowell Oh this is

That's the guy from The Ministry of Dude I don't remember saying He smokes too much Did you? No, you said that You said he smokes too much? You said they're smoking up a storm

Smoking the cigarettes I didn't say smokes too much though Pacificom Says Dick's hair looks like he lived for six months Isolated in the woods Eating dog food and Shooting Deer How would I get dog food in the woods For six months?

I'd have to go get dog food Why would a canned guy have dog food? Yeah, you would just bring regular canned food Why would I shoot? Why am I bringing food into the woods And then shooting deer? It doesn't make any sense. You would eat the deer

I would eat the deer That will last you six months You would eat one deer You'd watch that movie Into the Wild Where that guy dies in the bus? Yeah Yeah, I like that movie

I'll put it on when I'm hung over. It's interesting to like read forums of guys talking about how he fucked up smoking that moose. They go, if I had killed that moose, I would have smoked that moose expert. Totally different.

It would have been a totally different story. They're really down on him for fucking up. They're like, just put it in the river, idiot. I did find it. That is like, remember that part of the movie? So he like kills a moose, but he can't smoke it quick enough. Fucks it up. Yeah. So all the meat gets spoiled.

Yeah. Yeah. You know what you're supposed to do there? You know what you're supposed to do in that situation? Eat it. You got to eat that shit. Like when the fridge goes out, you've got to eat the ice cream real fast. Put it in the river where the bugs can't get to it.

So you put the dead moose in the river? Yeah, you put the dead moose in the river. So you fuck up your meat and your water? First of all, what do you mean fuck up your water? You can go up the river. Okay. So you don't have to drink the water that's down river of the dead moose. There's other parts of the river you can get water.

from, idiot. And no, you've got to take the dead moose and you use the river as like a refrigerator. You submerge it and then you cut your meat off in the river. Like underwater? You got to go underwater and cut the meat off? Well, I mean, you can put it in a shallow part of the river. How come I've never seen anybody put a moose carcass in a river? I've seen all the alone shows.

How often have you seen a guy put a moose carcass ever? A lot because I watch, I watch alone. I watched naked and afraid. My dad's addicted to that shit. I've seen every episode of that shit. I've seen a lot of carcasses getting cut up on television. I've never seen one person go, you know what, I'm going to toss this into the river.

Well, those guys are all prepared, and they got like a bunch of fucking tools and shit, okay? This guy, he didn't know what he was doing. He should put the moose in the river. That's my, look, I'm trying to help. Again, I'm always out here trying to help the audience. The audience is ever in a survival situation. they've killed a moose, it's starting to rot.

Eat it. I'm telling you guys, get it in the river. You could bulk up. How much moose do you think you could eat if you had to? You. I think I could eat a good amount of moose. Two shanks. How many pounds of moose meat you think you could eat?

I don't think there's a limit. I don't know why you're even proposing a limit. What are you talking about? Why would I stop? You have to slow down? you could like continue eating it or what? There's just... Are you asking how much moose I could eat in a day or just like in general across my lifetime?

If you're stranded, man. If you're stranded, you would hopefully, I mean, the whole point is you want to smoke the thing and eat it for months. You got to keep smoking it. Um, um, did they do that... He didn't have anything to eat. He could have kept smoking that moose. Did they do that thing in that movie? I think they did where they show the real pictures the people at the end of the movie. Oh, did they? I don't remember. That's my, that's my problem. That's my problem.

They did, every time they do that, they have like one of those biopics. I'm waiting at the end. I'm like, oh, please don't show. For them to compare the actor or the actual person. Please don't show what the actual person looks like. And then they do it. It's like, uh, the whole movie was just ruined. I didn't want to know. Wait, how does that ruin the movie? What's the issue there? What do you mean? Well, because it's like, that's not the guy. Like that's not, it's like when they do that dead pet thing

And Nathan for you and that dog has like a Chinese accent And the kid goes, that's not how he talks Like that's at the end of blow At the end of blow they show the real guy and I'm like Well, that's not I don't want You're overthinking it a little bit That guy's not cool

I don't have to think at all I just look at him and go This guy, this guy looks like a fucking drug dealer This guy doesn't look like Johnny Depp being cool and stuff This guy looks like a fucking creep. I don't want to be like this guy at all. Now I feel nothing about the whole movie. Now I'm upset. I mean like, you remember Schindler's list?

Where they show all the bodies at the end getting bulldozed into... Well, that's part of it. But, uh, I mean, Oscar Schindler was like a big fat German guy. You know, it wasn't Liam Neeson. Did they show Oscar Schindler at the end of that movie? I don't think they ever show an actual picture of it. Exactly. But I'm saying like...

Exactly. That's good film. That's good filmmaking. They do show all the Jews, though, because we got to watch them put all the rocks on the grave. Remember that? I don't remember that part. That one they did it for real, where they had the actors with the old Jews. And they both walk over to the grave.

And they're like, this is, like, I'm her. I'm playing her. No, they're like 95 years. Yeah, they do in Schindler's list. So it's like the little girl, and she's holding hands with like an old Jewish lady. Are you fucking serious? You're joking. Yeah, they all put the...

No, that was like the climax of the movies. Them and all the purse people they played. Okay. Holding, walking hand in hand over to the grave. Exactly. And what did you feel when you saw that? After you watched that movie, you're like, wow, what a powerful movie. And then that shit.

I was like, man, those are some old Jews. Jesus. Exactly. It's got nothing to do with the movie. Oh, great. That lady's barely hanging in there. That lady is, well, it kind of, yeah, because you go, there's like this precocious, you know, child actor. And you're like, ah, she was fun in the movie.

And they go, she's going to turn to that 80-year-old Jewish lady. And you're like, oh, how the majesty. Like, oh, it doesn't matter if anyone survived that. Everyone's just going to turn into this. Well, I mean, I guess, you know, they were all putting rocks on Oscar Schindler's grave in that. To squish it? Uh, well, Oscar Schindler, it's funny. Because after, after he saved all the Jews, he spent the rest of his life, uh,

kind of just going to them and being like, hey, can I get a couple, can I get a couple dollars? Can I get a couple bucks? Can I get a couple bucks? Can you do me a miso? Can you do me a bar mitzvah? Hey, guys, can you help me out a little bit? Can I get a shekel of a steer to? Yeah. Can you look on my matza for a second here? Finally, at the end of his life, Israel said, ah, we'll make you, you know, an honorary, whatever the fuck.

When he was dead, they're like, you know what? All you can eat. Yeah, well, there you go. There's a card. You go any restaurant in Israel, all you can eat. Oscar Schindler. Oh, he's dead. Mata on the house.

Mata, all the Mata you can eat. You're a big fat fuck. So they gave him a special grave in Israel. And then Steve Spielberg made everybody, yeah, and then Steve Sielberg made everybody go there and put rocks on it. Oscar Schindler had a grave in Israel? Why do you know so much about Israel? I just I looked up because I looked up Schindler's list I was like

I was a good movie how much of that was fake and then of course you have a grave in Germany where they happened but does he have a grave in Germany where everyone shits on it no no no no I think he's actually I don't know if he's actually buried in Israel if it's symbolic or what but you know pretty expensive to carry a big fat guy all the way to Israel

and bury him there he's righteous among the nations Have you ever heard that title? No. The nations of what? Well, the Jews. They're the nations? It's the righteous among... Hey, it's Vat Vashem.

Remember Yad Vashim? Remember Yad Vashim? The World Holocaust Remembrance Center? Oh, yeah, I remember that. Yeah. They're the ones who, I guess, hand out the, the righteous among the nations award. Among the nations.

Yeah, which is if you really liked the Jews and you were, like, super nice to them, you get a special little... little metal. Oh. Hey, you can get a burial plot. All right, well. It's an honorific bestowed by the state of Israel.

And acts must be purely humanitarian, not for payment or reward. Seems against a... No payment. No payments. This guy did this for free, everyone. This guy did this shit for free.

Everybody did it for free. Which is... Can you believe it? Like, what's wrong with these fucking go in him. Well, yeah, no Oscar Schindler, save the world. Okay, okay, okay, okay. The people who hid the Jews and acts.

No, no, that's enough. That's enough. That's enough. It's gonna, you can't do another. I just like, whenever Schindler's list comes up, it's an interesting topic. Roth Media TV. How is Vito obsessed with color

in his alleged comic, but he can't figure out how to set up the cold temperature on a camera? I think this camera just sucks. Probably. Just Mebby says, how does Kanye know that this is apology and not another bipolar episode?

That's a good question. It's me, Yoshi says it's so funny. Curious. It's so funny that Vito thinks he can play the stock markets and win by buying and selling on a daily weekly basis. It's so funny, he says. I don't. Aaron Harver says,

I can totally see Elon Musk finishing Ender's game and just smirking to himself going, yeah, that is so me. That's me, dude. would have recognized that up is down. Is that what Ender's game is? Did you

never read Ender's game? No, I'm not like that. I'm not like that. Yeah, Ender's huge revelation is I read stuff for like that amusement. Right. Well, they play zero gravity laser tag

basically. 90% of the book is playing zero gravity laser tag for some fucking reason. Okay. And imagine you enter a room. Is that like quidditch? It's a lot like quiddish. Imagine you enter the room and the other team is across the room from you, right? And you're all shooting at each other. I just told you, I don't want to imagine this shit. Okay? I told you I don't, I don't, I don't read the book because I don't want to imagine this kind of gay crap. So don't ask me to imagine it. Just describe it

in a way that's not imagining. So just imagine the teams across from you. I'm not. Okay. I refuse. Okay, imagine playing basketball. I'm thinking of trucks right now. You're playing bad. I'm thinking of a truck. I'm thinking of a truck. I'm thinking of a Rally. A backhoe. Yeah, okay. Truck rally. The point is he reconditions his team to go, listen, they're not across from us.

They're below us. And they're like, what do you mean? He's like, we're going down. We're not going across. We're going down. So aim between your feet and then you're the smallest possible target for the other team. Oh, so it's stupid. He redefines what it means to play zero gravity laser tag.

the gate is down Kian the Swiss says leave it to Vito to not understand milk What do I know? I think I understand milk like more than 90% of this audience at this point Because anyone who argues with me about milk It tends to be wrong Stevie Jays is that was up A2 I got some A2 milk the other day

Yeah Are you aware of this I've heard of A2 milk It's not milk I think I might have to do that as my problem Okay Too many milk Okay.

There's too much. It used to be you went to the store, you got some fucking milk. Right. Now I go to the store and I go, what the fuck is all this? What is, what do I get? What do I get? What do I want? Okay?

Because they got the regular milk. Then they got the A2 milk. Yeah. Then they got the lactose free milk. Yeah. Then they got the oat milk, the almond milk. Obviously, you're not getting that. I got the almond milk a couple times.

It's not good. Do you like almond milk? No. No. Yeah, it doesn't taste good. And all these people, they try to sell you on it. They go, no, it's just as good. It's even better.

And it's not. But also, when I get regular milk, I think they're fucking with regular milk. The expiration date on regular milk. Okay. Okay. Remember the expiration date on regular milk? regular milk used to be like a science. Or like, if it had a day left on the milk, you'd taste the milk.

You're like, that's still good milk. And then the second the expiration date rolled around, you'd taste you. You go, oh, my God. That's bad milk. It was like crazy how on top of the milk expiration they were. I don't really remember that. But now I get the milk and the milk goes, yeah, this is still good for a week. And I go, oh, thank God.

And I take a drink of it and it tastes like dog shit. And I go, this is bad milk. They're fucking with the expiration dates. They're making it too far out. You're saying. Yeah. I think the milk companies were like, we could just trick people and put a fake expiration date on there. Do you think they're selling bogus bad milk?

I think they're selling bad milk. I think that milk goes bad like a week before it says it goes bad now. That has been my experience. Interesting. And then I bought the lactose-free milk because it lasts longer. Okay. Do you know lactose? is the reason your milk goes bad or whatever.

That's why it gets that sour taste or whatever. So if you get the lactose-free milk, it could last like two months. I don't drink milk. I just have something like coffee. No, I just have half and half in coffee, and that's pretty much it. You don't have like a bowl of cereal ever? Very, very rarely. I'll put some water in that, though.

It's fine. I mean, you probably cook with milk on some level. Yeah, I guess. Half and half's fine there, too, though. Okay, well I'm saying even your half and half is probably going bad early The milk people are fucking with us And then I get and then I don't know and then I'm like what is A2 milk? Do you even know what A2 milk is? Do you know? Jiz. It's jizz It feels like it might be jizz but it turns out you like read it up on it and they're like well there's two different types of fucking proteins

And we especially bred these cows to only have the A2 proteins. Oh, okay It supposedly means the milk is like easier to digest But not really That's good When did milk get so fucking complicated That's my question Okay Stevie J says as upset

And that's the bottom line I was very upset about the Lego problem But I recognize it's probably a niche problem If Vito was a professional He probably wouldn't bring niche problems to the show I don't know why that was Directed at you Destro says Big L from Common L provider dick

attacking actual libertarians for wanting the stake gone. What did you think we were this whole time? If you opened a libertarian, an LP Party X account, I think that means a Libertarian Party Party X account. You're not going to get any libertarianism. During lockdown, you were actually against government cops for bashing innocent. You see what's wrong with them? For bashing innocent people, for freedom of movement and trying to force them to take the V against their will.

Rwatch your debate with Jim Mr. Medi-Kor. I'm like, hey, what is this a comedy show? Sure, but you're jumping into political commentary on current events as a leapoff. point and you're talking the current stance of Tim Poolhead. Okay. It's amazing. Here's a problem is communities of people who can't accept like, yeah, I might be wrong. You know, it's just what I believe. It's always a lecture. Like all the crypto guys who when I said, I'm going to sell my crypto, it doesn't it? It seems like it's not really going anywhere. I had all these comments going. Yeah, you're fucking stupid. What do you do?

They're just insecure. They need, they can't see that because of their own insecure. If they were secure, they wouldn't say anything about it. Okay. That's it. That's all the comments. They were all terrible. All right. So I'm the winner.

Yeah, you're the winner. All right. I'm the winner. Well, Dick, as long as we're talking about the topic of Ender's game, a beloved fantasy franchise or so, well, not fantasy. Sci-fi franchise. I had another picture from a sci-fi franchise, which now won't load because something's wrong. Oh, here we go.

Let me put this up on the show. the screen. Dick, are you familiar with the Star Trek? Yes. You a Star Trek fan? I don't know. Not anymore. Well, you would think in a world of federations and, you know, going from planet to planet and everybody working together, you think that there'd be less bitches in wheelchairs. But no, because unfortunately we live in the golden age of diversity and representation and whatever else. My problem, Dick, is fantasy disabilities, fantasy wheelchairs. What's worse? This are the Dungeons and Dragons wheelchair.

That's the point that I was going to get. Both of them are bad. What's worse now? I think it's worse to have. Hold on. What is worse? Which one's worse? If magic exists.

Yeah. Uh-huh. Okay. Okay. Sci-fi wheelchairs are worse, and here's why. Sci-fi wheelchairs are worse because the whole point of the future is that we have way more resources. Okay. Now, I could understand if you're living back in time, you're like, I don't have enough gold for the magic spell that would heal my legs.

Yeah, right. You know, like you've got to pay a wizard for that. But this bitch is a member of Starfleet, the most elite military organization that the, the United Nations has to offer. Planets. The United Planets. The United Federation of Planets. Surely some race, the Garflaxians

or the Klingons or whatever the fuck has figured out how to fuse the spine back together. So nobody has to ride around in a fucking space wheelchair. Okay? Now, Jordy LaForge obviously was blind, but we accepted on some level that we're like, well,

I think he probably could regrow his eyes. Like, that was like a choice where he's like, I just like the visor. And also like a mechanical guy. His visor was better. Yeah, I think that visor let him see extra stuff. Yeah. You know?

Plus, you have Ray Charles. So there's like a precedent set for black blind people. Exactly. There's no fat bitch in a wheelchair that everyone loves. There's never an episode where Jordy talks about how hard it is to be blind. It like almost never comes up, you know? It's not like, oh, this is my crutch to bear or whatever. It's just like, no, I'm Jordy.

I see you with the supervisor because my eyes are fucked. Whatever. Okay. But the wheelchair, if you're going to be on fucking the enterprise, okay, the bridge has stairs. We've seen it. Stairs all over the place, man. You can't get rid of them. When you got to get up to, when Kirk and.

You got to get up under the transporter. You got to step up there. Ensign Crippleface. Hey, can you adjust the coordinates? Well, no, because there's two stairs on the bridge. So I literally can't access Half of the fucking ship. Yeah.

There's no wheelchair ramp on the original Enterprise. Did the Enterprise in the next generation, did that have a smoother ramp or did it still have stairs? It had it. No, it had ramps going around the side, I think.

All right, so it was a ramp. But the turbo lift, I think, had a little step to it, I think. So you can't even get on the tur? How are you going to get on the transporter? The transporter definitely had stairs. There was no ramp to get a certain point.

get on the transport. Totally. Yeah. So when you go on an away mission, you go, uh, somebody's got to like pull her up over the lip so we can transport this bitch down to, to Zarnalan, Zarnelon, Zarnelon 9. How come we haven't seen any crippled people before this? Like how come there's no guy with like a cane or like,

no arms or something? Because it's the future. Because they wouldn't exist. Look, obviously the only, the only disabilities remaining in the Star Trek universe famously are black and Asian and race relations. Like that was what they still had to deal with. Right. You know, it was like, you know, everybody's the same, but we got, you know, Russians and Japanese and whatever. You know, we haven't dealt with that yet. But here, now we're introducing there's cripples who are running around the fucking enterprise. That's a problem. That you can't

have it. Now, it would be one thing if they say, I don't know, maybe this character, it's like, if she makes it through training, they'll give her legs. That I would be okay with. Oh, yeah, that makes sense. First, you got to pass some Starfleet tests. Yeah. You know, and if you pass those,

we'll give you the legs for the thing. But I get the feeling that, no, they're trying to say everybody is special in the sci-fi universe and people of all fucking things. I think they got an ensign with like Vidaligo or whatever, and you go, you can fix Vidaligo now. That's what I need.

I need a whole show of Vidaligo in the future. I need a show where everybody, has Vidaligo. Have they ever had a retarded person? Have they had a retarded person on Star Trek? Yeah. Has there ever been a retarded character? Wasn't that Odo guy retarded?

From Deep Face 9? Which one's Odo? He had a messed up face. The guy was like, aw. He had like a messed up the good face. Was he human? I guess. I don't know.

I thought he was retarded. He was always like, aw. I'm just saying like, it seems like they've solved solved mental retardation. in the future of Star Trek. Well, here's the problem. They had... So, like, wouldn't you be able to screen for, like, crippled?

Maybe she got crippled in an accident or something. She got kicked by a spacehorse. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Maybe her legs are healing right now. Maybe this is a temporary wheelchair situation. Maybe she's just fat and lazy. What about that?

Why are they walking around everywhere if they got, like, warp speed? When I and I just sit around all day? Like, Wally. They weren't crippled. Well, that's the, okay, that's the other thing is if, let's assume that for some reason fixing the human spine is so fucking impossible, at the very least, you would have a Professor X floating wheelchair. You wouldn't have, yeah. You would have laser cover wheels. Does she have to crank the wheel?

Yeah, she has to fucking, it's not even like a motorized wheelchair. You go, this isn't the fucking future at all. Now it's not the future. It was the future. There would be no wheel. the wheel would have been solved Does the enterprise have wheels? No

What the fuck is that? What are those circle things on your chair? What are those circles? You don't see wheels on Star Trek Because why would you? Everything can fucking flow or teleport or hover. Yes. Hey, what are those fidget spinners you got on your chair?

The big ones. Huh. And the only thing that the chair has wheels is clearly a design decision that somebody needed to sit there and go, why the fuck wouldn't have wheels? Clearly it wouldn't have wheels. You don't see anybody on Star Trek.

being like, hey, put all the delethium crystals in this wheelbarrow so I can take it down to the fucking engine room, no. No, they always have like a floating dolly or something. Like from Home Depot. Yes, they have floating fucking carriers. They don't even have a steering wheel.

There's not one wheel in Star Trek. They're going to go, what the hell? They put fucking buttons and shit. I don't think that. They have levers and they have buttons. They don't even have buttons. They just have like panels. It's like a space that's a different color.

I think there's a part Remember that part where Spock and Kirk We're on the bus and they Like oh look at this primitive Steering system that this bus driver has to use The wheels on the bus go round and round Mr. Spock This is a form of a locomotion

That the humans used to use Some kind of floating wheel device Floating and hovering Look See the problem is they had When it was men When it was just men running Star Trek Then they had like

You have your men and then you have your disabled people, which are women, that you have on the ship. But now, now that they have women in charge of the Star Trek, they've got like, it's all quirk chungis and fat women running the show. They have to pick, they still need the second class citizen, but they used up women, so now they got to go disabled. Like wheelchair, retarded, fat. That's the women of this show when women are in charge. There should also be no fat people on Star Trek. That makes no sense. And yet they're all fat.

There's a fucking blueberry. Yeah. The only fat person on Star Trek should be somebody who is like chosen to become fat. Because any other, you have a machine that can perfectly nutritionalize you. Yeah. And also, you know, I don't know, man. You just wouldn't have fat people in the future. Well, because they're not like depressed in the future.

Right. They don't have any problems. I mean, they would have figured out a delicious. food source that, you know, has X amount of calories. Yeah. I mean, I guess one guy could be sitting at the food, you know, transporter all day, just fucking

gobbling it up or whatever. Fucking Montgomery Scott. The replicator. Yeah, Montgomery Scott would just be at the replicator all day. What about the gay cleaners? See, but he was fat. He made sense. He was fat from alcoholism. Alcoholism is not solved in the future. We still like alcohol. So Montgomery Scott, being

an old fat guy, I was like, yeah, he's just a drunk. I don't think Synthahal gets you drunk, though. Somethingall can't get you drunk? You can't get drunk on Star Trek? I think you can get like a little buzz or something. I don't think it can get you drunk. I don't know, though. I don't know that much.

You could put, as somebody mentioned in the chat, yeah, you can eat all you want and then just transport it out of your fucking stomach. There we go. No harm, no foul. Solved. Solved. Solved. Transport it.

So there should be no wheels, no fat people. Can she have like little robot legs sticking in your legs? Like a little suit walking in her? around. Okay, she could have a little spider tank maybe or something, you know? There's like a million ways to handle it. We have exoskeletons that will walk you around. I agree. She doesn't have that? No.

Look, we right now have an epidemic where all the people writing for these shows don't understand. If you're writing for a future show, you don't get to put a bunch of fucking fat wheelchair bitches on it. You can put that on every other show. Every other show can have that. Yeah. I think there was a wheelchair bitch in fucking like how to train your dragon. Wasn't there like some fucking fantasy wheelchair recently? And like, fine, whatever. Somebody's got a

super wheelchair. Who gives, from the in the past, again, because they can't afford to pay the wizard. That I can accept. But this is a Starfleet officer. They should just make everyone carry her around. You know? It would be better than what they got now.

Throw her over the shoulder. Let's go, bitch. Take you down to sick bay. Look. What Q shows up and he fucking jams up wheelchair. What if he's like, oh yeah? And it makes that sound, shoot. And then she's just lying on the floor and they're like, oh, Q, that's fucked. You just, you just zap. You just zapped. And he goes, what about this, Picard?

What if wheelchairs don't even exist? And then all the wheelchairs disappear and it does that commercial sound where it's like, bong, ta, and she's like laying on the ground. Oh! And like, the whole universe has forgotten about wheelchairs. So they have to spend the rest of the episode. They're like, what do we do? do about a world without wheelchairs. She's can't move

around. We've got to drag her? Just let her crawl. Maybe she'll figure out how her legs work again. But nobody can think, that's what Q did. He made it so nobody could imagine a wheelchair. No one could even think of a possible way. That's what he's doing. Q. Well, that bitch has always

been crawling around ever since I've known her. That's what she does. She's always crawls around. There's no other way. They're like, Captain, what if we put her on some sort of a slab or something and maybe that she could move herself around. He's like, I can't understand it because of what Q did. I can't process it at all. I can't understand it.

Q's put a mental lock on me. She'll just have to grow up. That's a better show than what they're doing. Well, that's, you know what? If the writers, again, if you're going to put a bitch in a wheelchair, I want you to do an episode about why. Why? And it's got to, you got to have like a, yeah, like a Q reason or a space reason or something.

Yeah. Or the Borgs. Borgs. Borgs. Well, the Borgs is Perfect. They have the ability to augment technology.

How about the Borg? There's a Borg in her. There's Borg and her legs. Look, you don't even take care of your own. We could make her whole with Borg technology, you know? Yeah. The Borg would give her legs and she'd be like, hey, how come you guys never gave me legs?

And they're like, ah, you know, we were going to. We just, we kept forgetting to. Yeah. My bad. Or what if her legs get really fast? Like at Warp 9. And she's always running around with her. And her legs are like do, do, do, lo, lo, lo, like that in her wheelchair.

What if... What about that? You know, the show was, like, predominantly able-bodied men. You know, like it used to be. That would be a good, a good way to go with it, too, you know? A bunch of guys running stuff and maybe, like, one or two women. You know what's crazy is in these new shows where it's all women, they can't even... fix the problems in the show.

They're, like, confused the whole time, and then they, they just, even the way, the way they're solving the problem and what they're doing to solve the problem makes absolutely no sense. It's like, well, I, I, I paid attention. I don't get it. I don't get how that fixed it, but whatever. I watched that blonde lady sing a song on an episode of Star Trek. Wait, which blonde lady? The one from, what was that, the good life or whatever?

What's the name of that actress? Ted Danson. Yeah, it was Ted Danson. Ted Danson dressed like a lady and he sang a song. Has Bill Burr been in Star Trek yet? That's what we need. Has Bill Burb? No, he's been in Star Wars.

We need him in both. He's got to be in both. Hold on. You got to see this lady sing this song. No, no, no, no. I don't want to see that shit. We'll get our channel. Well, that's what Star Trek is now.

It's ladies singing songs. Singing songs? Yeah, that's what Star Trek has become. It's about celebrating. I only want like a violin concerto, you know? Or like a Picard. Back at the Academy. We'd finish our toast with a song.

La La, la. There's a lot of singing on Star Trek now. Man, that sucks. Star Trek's Strange New Worlds. This is what has happened to our sci-fi here real quick. Wait, wait, what is your problem? Don't make people watch the shittiest shit. It's horrible.

It's awful. They're all musicals for women now. Look at the black lady's singing. Keep going. I have to give credit when you. Thanks to all of you. Okay. Is Q making them do this?

This is great. Well, probably. Okay. And then there's a gay black guy who's happy that they're singing. They need to do a. show from the bad guys that are trying to kill the Federation now. Well, a laser should just rip through

the ship like midway through the fucking song. Yeah, that would be cool. Just like, bam, and it's how we lost the Enterprise D. Now we're on to the Enterprise F. Okay. Anyway, uh, sci-fi wheelchairs or fantasy wheelchairs, fantasy wheelchairs,

get rid of them in all things. Sci-fi or fantasy? Well, sci-fi is a form of fantasy. No I'm going to say fantasy wheelchair I mean sci-fi is in the fantasy genre fantasy sci-fi

That is not In the same genre That's like Whatever do whatever you want I don't care anymore Ketchup in the mustard genre That puts sci-fi Sci-fi

Sci-fi wheelchairs Okay Yeah Here's my problem This is a Super Bowl commercials So it's kind of surprised That we didn't do this one yet Yeah

You're familiar with the Here's one here's a Super Bowl commercial for you You don't want to save this for our bonus episode The Biggest Problem in Football Uh, no All right Wait, what bonus episode about football

Are you talking about? Well, we have to do a bonus episode It would make sense to do a shit about football Well, Bob, the biggest problem in the Super Bowl When are we going to do that? Literally, any time before the Super Bowl Yeah, that's like a That's like two days.

Tomorrow, okay, so we should I can't do tomorrow. Why? Because I got shit to do. What do you mean why? Like what? You're asking me what I have to do tomorrow? Why I can't do a bonus episode?

All right, here we go. Here's the... It takes like an hour. It takes more than an hour. All right. Super Bowl ads. Here you go. Is there supposed to be audio?

Oh yeah, you can't hear Let me see if I could do it here If I could share it here Yeah, hit that share button Yeah, I'd share the screen But it doesn't share the audio Oh, it should, no It's not

I don't know, is there a way to share it on Streamyard that I don't know about Can you hit the present button? Yeah, to your screen And then I'll see it up here. You hit present or send me the link and I'll share the fucking thing. Here. It's that Jewish commercial.

Just go to Twitter. Let me see it. I haven't seen this. You haven't seen this? Oh my God. Yeah, go find it. You can send me the link in the private chat here on Stream Yard. Okay.

Here. There you go. And I'm copying the link and I'm going to share this tab. And now I'm gonna play the video. Go for it. Okay. There's a Jewish child walking down a hallway. Oh no. Oh my.

He's just been knocked by some bullies. Dude. Did you see that? Should we tell him? Come with that. Oh, look. Oh my god. What is happening?

Did they put a bunch of bag? in his locker? They wrote, they wrote, they wrote dirty Jew on his Oh my god. And then a black guy with a fro comes in and covers out. Why would he cover it up instead of just ripping it off? This was, um... Oh, you have to put a blues, what's the blue square?

Nah. They're not working, bro. Yeah, you're right. I was tripping. I like the black guy's like, well, don't get it. guys like, well, don't confront them. I mean, you're still a little Jewish guy. My brother. Don't resort to violence. It's like my dad

always says. Don't resort to violence. So for those of you listening to the audio version of the podcast, his backpack had a dirty Jew sticker on it. Play it again from the beginning. Now that you know what it is. This is Robert Kraft. Instead of just whipping it off.

What is he? Who's Robert Kraft? He owns one of the teams, I think. Robert Kraft. Wait, Robert Kraft put this up, one of the football, he owns a, yeah, one of the football teams. I don't know which one. I don't even know who's in the football. Is he Jewish? The Patriots owner.

If he owns a football team, I guess there's a good chance. Yeah, he bought this, he bought this ad. I guess anti-Semitism was dropping, and he wanted to make sure it went up. So he paid for this ad during the Super Bowl. This ad where, okay, has this happened at any high school? anywhere in the past like 15, 20 years Has there really been a lot of like

Let me put dirty Jew on this kid's backpack Go back, go back to the beginning Go back to the beginning Okay, where? Here? Yeah, the beginning, yeah. Okay. Right. Okay, walking down the hall

Just a normal looking kid, right? Now these two white, these two white hoodlums Yeah, hold on. You see that? I want to see these two white guys. These two white hoodlums. Yeah, you've got a tall white kid And a kind of

A guy wearing his hat backwards Wait, is it an Asian kid? Did an Asian kid bullied the Jew? I can't actually tell I can't see He's a little Asian kid And he's a left-handed He's a lefty by the way

Because he's putting the sticker He's putting the Post-it note On his backpack As he guys buy it I like that this guy's wearing The striped shirt backwards hat Gene Jacket combo Which no child in today's society

wears it just That's like your bully outfit from the 80s. This is a This is, oh, that's okay, that's the other thing. I don't know what decade this is supposed to be from.

Yeah. Because if there's nobody on, oh, I guess that chick's on a cell phone, but it's, the clothes do not look, clothes don't look modern. I don't think kids wear jean jackets and backwards hats anymore.

I thought that style, that's not like an old-looking style there. Okay, so then, so the kids already, he's wearing a star David necklace, so he's really, you know. He's, he's really putting it out there. Why not get a yama-

point he should have a yarmaca like really sell the fucking thing and he should have a yarmica all right here's the thing though how does everybody notice this uh okay this doesn't make any sense the stickers on the back of his backpack now yeah says very this bitch already notice it look she's just she's just looking at his jewishness that she's reacting to his his vibe she's like oh there's that jewish kid yeah there's epstein's uh nephew they're walking behind i wonder if he's i wonder if he knows about the list that's the emails. I wonder if he's in there. Did everybody in this school get like a memo? Like hey, we're going to stick a

sticker on the back of his backpack. So don't miss it. It's going to be a big deal. It's going to be amazing. Look at this black guy. He's like, god damn, man. How do you not know about it? You got a note on that backpack. Even the black guy who goes like, what's going on? Oh, man. This guy. What the hell? Do this fucking guy? Now he's using one of these giant

lockers that nobody's used nobody in real life has ever used. Okay, right there. Right there. Do you see how the guy, watch how he puts the Post-it note on, okay? Yeah. That's not how a Post-it note works. Look. He's not attaching it.

He's not attaching it. He's just kind of placing it on. He's like pushing down on the middle. Yes, he's pushing it down in the middle. And you can even see where it's curved. See how it's curved in the bottom? Again, that's not how a Post-it note works. Well, if the adhesive is at the top here, they could curve up at the bottom.

Usually the adhesive part has a little bit of curl. The adhesive has the curl? Yeah, it kind of gets squirly. Okay, but how did it, first of all, where did this black kid come from? And why does he have blue post-it notes? When have you ever seen a blue post-ed notes to save all the Jews in the school? Look, I went to school with a bunch of black kids, and none of them ever went around the school making sure all the Jewish kids were okay. They're the most anti-Semitic.

They're the most anti-Semitic, besides Muslims, the most anti-Semitic. What's the least anti-Semitic race? White people. So why is there this? anti-white bigoted anti-white propaganda airing during the Super Bowl. Why is there a commercial...

Whenever I talk to the black kids, I'm like, what are you guys doing after school? They never said, oh, we're going to go like make sure the temple's okay, you know, and like safe to enter. That was never part of it. They were like, we're going to play some basketball. I'm like, yeah, all right, cool. We're going to go turn off the lights and like turn on the stove

for this Shabbas family. Yeah, exactly. We're going to make sure we turn off their lights switches for them. Yeah, they just call us up, dog. Well, I'm glad, man, I guess every school needs a black kid to just go around making sure all the little, all the little Jewish kids. This is the Schindler of our times. He's righteous among the nations. He's going, hey, hey, hey, I got your back. The guy, the, the, the, the, the, whoever's making his ad is saying, hey, black people, uh, you know, we're, we're, we're, you know, just basically exactly, we're,

it's us against whitey, right? It's us against whitey. Yeah. Right. Okay, keep two and three Jewish teens. I was going to say this is now. I know this is bullshit. Two and three Jewish teens have experienced. No, three and three Jewish teens have experienced anti-Semitism. So now you're just making a fucking numbers. Maybe it was two out of three before Israel started murdering Palestinian kids by the tens of thousands.

The only Jewish kid who has not experienced anti-Semitism doesn't own a computer. They're at Yashiva. Actually, there's probably the highest incidence of anti-Semitism is at Yashiva schools, where it's 100% Jewish. Um, okay, then it says share the blue square. So you have to wear a, don't wear, you have to wear this. Well, I think you're supposed to hash, it's a hashtag. You're supposed to tweet out a blue square. I don't know why, why don't you just tweet the fucking Israeli flag?

That's what everybody else does, right? Look, look, that black guy's got multiple blue squares. See, he's got one on his chest now. He's got a whole pack. Dude, he's like fucking dealing them out. Like Gambit. He's tossing this shit all around. I'm trying to figure out, like, so this is really confusing to me.

Yeah, it is. So Jews, we love you. You guys, you know, and I know you're eating a lot of shit now and again, and that sucks. But why are you fantasizing about a big black guy, like a big black fucking Samson character showing up and being like, don't worry, Jews, don't worry, Jews, we got you. The green mile is going to show up and cover you with post-it notes. if white people keep pulling their anti-semitism on you. Okay, because the actual scenario here would be, you know, he'd say, Kanye made a swastika shirt last year and ran it on the Super Bowl.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's kind of bad because, like, you know, I extrapolate the scenario out. And that's a moderate opinion for black people in Jesus. Yeah, go ahead. Like 10 years from now, it's going to be him managing his rap career and him taking 90% of the money. And I go, I don't, you know, this is the only possible. place for this to go. That's the only relationship

that I've ever heard between the Jews and the blacks is the Jews being like, I can manage you. I can manage your finances there and we'll get you a big record deal. You know, why do you need to take it once? You've already victimized, not victimized, but you know, you've benefited

from the exploitation of black people. Now you're explaining it again. Putting on little stickers to make you feel better about yourself. Everybody's being exploited in this commercial. How about a black kid is getting bullied and a Jewish kid shows up and he goes, I'm going to help you get a basketball deal or whatever. Yeah, I'm going to get you.

That's the scenario I would like. The Jews should be helping the blacks. Maybe it's the most racist commercial that's ever been. It's a little weird. It's a little odd. The reactions to are even funnier. A bunch of psycho- Zionists are, they hate it, obviously, because they think it makes them look weak, so they say.

I saw the idea of a compilation of pagers exploding getting thrown out on Twitter. That would be better than this. A bunch of those IDF whores, those Eastern European whores that the IDF pays to pretend to be in IDF, getting them to just go to a firing range and shoot machine guns. They said that would be a better commercial. I think the Jewish community isn't a very complicated. situation. You know?

Israel, the existence of Israel is complicated being a Jewish person in America. So maybe, maybe like a commercial that's like, we don't all live in Israel,

you know? We just all agree with it. We just all send our money there. There you go, Super Bowl commercials. You know, they get worse every year. That's,

I mean, okay, here's the other thing, though. If it's stand up to Jewish hate, like the commercial, commercials should be, you know, a guy in his bedroom going, did you know the Jews did this? Did you know the Jews did that? And then he, you know, like a guy comes in and blows his head off. And he goes, hey, only half that shit's true.

Stand up to Jewish hate. They should have, they should have made an AI of Nick Fuentes sucking a big black penis. That would have been, because what are they going to, what is he going to do, sue them? You know? There you go. They would have gotten away with this. Well, it should have been a Fuentes. What was that guy? recently went off on Fuentes at like the big Jewish conference. He was talking about Tucker Carlson. You saw that video, right? No, I didn't see that. It was like the big, I think it was the big conservative conference. It was like AFPAC or something. And a guy gets on stage and he goes, wow, that is a very Jewish individual. And he's just going, you think, you think we're going to take

this from Fuentes and Carlson? We're not going to take this? And I go, this was the worst guy to give him this speech. Jesus. Wow. He goes, we've existed for tens of thousands of years. You think you're going to take us down? I was like, maybe you find a different guy to give the speech about taking down Fuentes. They should have had an Asian girl come up at the end of this and gotten like, Me so, Sali, this happened to you. That would have been on about the tone.

I think they nailed here. Well, also, I hate to say it, I mean, if you really want a good, a Jewish bullying movie. You got to see that movie, the Fablesons. Did you see that one? The Spielberg movie? No. It's all about, it's Steven Spielberg just talking about how hard it was to be a rich Jew in California.

And you're like, well, I don't know, I don't think it was nearly as bad as you made it out to be. But yeah, you get to see him get bullied in the school and, you know, deal with a bunch of bullies being like, fucking, you're fucking Jewish. And then, you know what, you know what Stephen Spielberg does? Is he makes a

he makes a video, you know, the beach day video. They do the high school beach day. And he films the, the jock, the bully who's been bullying him. And he makes him look like an Adonis. You know, this little Jewish kid, he's filmed this perfect Aryan specimen spiking the volleyball. And then the bully comes to him crying. He goes, why'd you make me look so like that? How could you make me look so beautiful up there? And I'm like, is this Steven Spielberg's fan? Did this act? How Steven Spielberg remembers his life is being a little Jewish kid who was so good at filming

Caucasian gentlemen that they burst out weeping at the skillful artistry of his film camera. Snailed it. You haven't seen the Fablesons? It's awesome. Dude,

half the movie is about how his dad got cuckolded by Seth Rogen. It's like the weird... You go, why would you make a movie about this? It's just like... It's like literally, Steven Spielberg retelling the story of like, yeah, that was my uncle, Seth Rogan, cuckolded the shit out of my dad for like years.

It was really weird for our family. And you're like, oh, my God. Why would you memorialize that on film? You're just watching his dad be like, ah, there's Uncle Seth Rogan. What a great guy. Hmm. It's a complicated movie. The Fablemans.

That's what it's called. What do I call it? The Fablesons. Fablesons. That's my problem. The fables. That's my problem. Well, I'm glad the Jews.

Everything's working out. out for them. And the only thing they got to worry about is making sure everyone has enough blue post-it notes to defend them in the high school hallways. Get a big blue square. These goddamn white people, someone really ought to do something about them. All right, Dick, here's my

problem. My problem is, uh, we got a new mayor in New York. His name's mom, Donnie. He's killing it. And he's in there. He's killing it. He's killing it. Yeah. Specifically, he's killing the homeless. Yeah, I saw that.

18 dead. to a frost spike, to the winter took them in the night. I was worried about Mamdami, but he's doing a great job. I mean, that's more than any other mayor is doing. You would think everyone would say, wow, that's a lot of homeless people he killed. Good work. Yeah. But instead, I'm seeing all your fucking guys.

Yeah, well. All these conservative outlets going, can you believe this awful communist mayor let 18, beautiful, shining children of God perish on the streets of New York. And I went, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's a feature, not a bug. That's doing it right.

Okay? And I got all there's all these news articles in New York Post going, killer mom, Donnie, letting heartless mom, Donnie letting the homeless freeze to death. What is wrong with you, people? Guys, I know.

The homeless dying off is going to happen and when it happens you don't write a news article about how bad it is you go eh well here's what you say

when that happens you go what are you going to do that's it and then you move on you don't got to dwell on it you don't got to celebrate it and just go

well you know living on the street in the middle of winter things might happen oh well this is a problem I call homeless

Harpies these are the yeah exactly these are the people who are a constant crying about the homeless dying from situations that they themselves placed themselves in, obviously, because there's literally people being like, we got a shelter over here. And they go, that's cool.

I built a makeshift shitbox out of cardboard and fucking old sweaters. That's just as good. And you go, yeah, sure. Why not? Or like that fucking guy, what's that kid from Ned's declassified? I got to hear about how some Nickelodeon stars living on the street now. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

And everybody goes, oh, my God. We got to get him some help, and then they get him a hotel room, and he immediately goes in there and pees on all the walls and trashes the whole fucking place. Yeah, guys, what fantasy do you live in? Well, you can just take these people. It's like, oh, all they need is a four square meal, three square meals, a roof over their heads. No, they're lunatic. They're crazy. Yeah, they're fucked.

They want to die. They, they clearly want, it's not that they want to die. They have no comprehension of life. No, they're just like worthless. I don't know. Look, right now, we have. a good thing going. And that good thing is a long-term upward trend and mortality rates among the homeless. Is that true? So stop fucking around and crying about it. Yes. A major multi-location study

sound that mortality rates among unhoused people in 22 measured localities has risen sharply from around 814 deaths per 100,000 in 2011 to 2,700 in 2020. That's more than three times. wrong way to go. We're up three times on the deaths. Yeah. Now, Dick, can you take any guesses as to some of the reasons? Global warming. It's actually, that's one of them.

Yes. Exposure to environmental extremes. Now, normally, I know for all this time, we've said, ah, global warming, that's the worst thing in the world. You know, all these extreme heat events, extreme cold events. We didn't understand that would help us kill three times, many homeless people. So there are some benefits that we didn't consider.

Another very common one and one I don't understand why we got to keep crying about it. Trump keeps crying, oh, the fentanyl, there's too much fentanyl. Substance overdoses the most common cause of death among unhoused individuals with among 45% of deaths in Los Angeles County being contributed to drug and alcohol overdoses. Fethanol and other opioids are major contributors to these fatalities. Another interesting thing you might not have considered is now that we're, you know, we have all these layoffs.

People are getting laid off later in life. So we have an older homeless population. So we have a lot of homeless boomers. And that's contributing to why more of them are dying because, you know, they're old people. Used to be homelessness was a young man's game. Not anymore. But now we're getting all the old people on the street as well, which is exciting for the homeless communities. traffic-related injuries are up.

Our trucks and our cars are faster and more deadly. And violent homicide and suicide. They're just killing each other. So, and let's be clear, COVID-19 was a big killer of the homeless. Took out a good amount. Yeah. And you know what happened? A bunch of liberals were going to the homeless communities going,

you got to get the jab. You got to get a. It's like just, you don't got to go. it's free. Or maybe give it to them. Don't get that. Yeah, do whatever. The point is, every day I got to go.

How are your guys, your conservative guys going, man, homelessness is such a problem. We've got to get all these homeless off the streets. Mom, Donnie bravely lets them freeze to death. And then I got to hear you guys crying about it. I'm like, I don't know, man. I don't know, man. Lay in here, people. It's really, it's really disheartening.

it's whenever I see that and like abortion is the same way everybody it's all liberals aborting themselves and right the right has just made it there it's cool if you want to like say you know we're against this because

we're better people than you like okay that's I understand that that's fine that's great yeah but don't actually stop them like what are you guys are you retarded you know you have like a finite amount of time. I would never. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I would never. Yeah. Okay. I would of course give my house to a homeless guy. Yeah. Right. Right. And then don't. Don't actually do it. Um, we got to. These. Yeah. Um, it seems like a lot of them are really like. That's like an 80, 20 issue. A 90s issue. Like who, who actually cares about, who actually cares about the homeless? Nobody. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody. just uses it as a

bludgeon as a tool to bludgeon politically. Like I, I mean, I bet some people care about the, really care about the homeless, but it's got to be it's got to be less than 5% of people actually care. What do you think? It's high, low?

It's like, or maybe less, maybe 2%. It's the liberal delusion, man. It's the classic liberal delusion, which is like, you know, if you give someone a ham sandwich in $5, they're going to go, fucking get a college scholarship and win the Super Bowl. And it's like, no, man, some people are just helpless. Like, that Nickelodeon kid on the street, you know, he's got like thousands of people

going, oh my God, I loved him on this stupid fucking Nickelodeon show. Let's send him money. But he's like a celebrity. Like, they don't care about normal homeless people like that. They pretend to on some level. Yeah. I don't know. I don't buy it.

guy who really cares about the homeless is that guy who's been going around giving him liquor and machetes. Have you seen that guy? Yeah, that guy's cool. Yeah. So that guy is the one guy who I go, yeah, I think, I think this guy cares about the homeless. Here, real quick, for those of you who haven't seen this video, because first of all, they're having fun and second of all, now they can, you know, play with machetes. This is, just, yeah, here. While everyone hands out cash, we showed up with something different. A real tool for survival. An 18 inch serrated handsaw.

Not a weapon. A work to a way to push up, close space, and create an opportunity. Look at how ruffie they all are. They didn't see danger. They saw potential. A chance to work. To build. To take control.

Everybody gets a machete. Everyone gets a machete in the homeless community. Okay. And that's, that's a real solution. Because they could do anything with that. They could chop down a cherry tree to get. some food for themselves. They could use that to chop wood to build a shelter.

They could fight off racists. Maybe. Yeah. Yeah. Or maybe they'll create such a problem that it takes care of itself. I don't exactly know. Okay. But at this point, look, we've tried for so long to figure out a solution to the homeless. We used to lock them up in a fucking asylums.

We haven't really. We had asylums. We had asylums. Okay, and that worked. The problem with the asylums was the only person who wants to work in an asylum is a rapist. No. That's what we found out. No.

The only people who take those jobs are rapists. That was all just totally made up. There was no, like, epidemic of rapists in there. Not more than anywhere else. It's not, that was, that's total bullshit. Well, that's the funny thing is whenever they give them a tiny home, they go, look, we built them a tiny home. I go, don't build them rape dungeons. Don't give them closed quarters.

They're raping each other. Stop. Yeah, there's more rapists in the homeless than they're in asylum. They can't have walls because they can't be trusted with them. Because the second you put walls around those people, they just start raping and fighting and whatever else. You have to have it out in the open on the street where you can see it. And then make the street really cold and see what happens.

Okay? That's it. That we have a solution. Free fentanyl and a frozen bed. That's the bottom line. Okay. Whatever you, stop trying to fix the solution. been found and the solution is to stop crying

about it and also stop letting them move to sunny climates. Keep busing them north. There you go. You don't have to have a problem with everything. You know? Just let them do it. Just let them have fun. Let them, you know, ignore that

one. Let it go. No. Everybody just let it go. Let the hum of shit go. It's over. It's never going to get fixed. Let them take a nap in the snow where it's nice and comfy. Nice. Nice comfy snow Okay, my problem is

All the equals In the Epstein files What is What's the deal? All the what? All the equals signs In the Epstein files I haven't heard about this

You haven't seen them? Do you try to read? I'm not really big I'm not like I see a lot of guys are like Fervently searching up They're trying to find a Tony Hawk was in there and then they found something like

one Epstein file. Load any single email from the Epstein file. There's a weird equal sign in it. There's equal signs all over it. From him or from everybody? From the fuck, from the conversions. The government fucked up the conversion and turning

emails into like a document. So now there's just random equal signs all over the place. Characters are getting replaced with equals. People saying there's a nine-year-old girl because one got swapped out with an equals Equal sign. It's like there's just equals. You go to read it. You think, all right, I'm going to really pour into this. I'm going to, I'm going to search it. You know, this is going to be real. We got our top men working on this shit. And it's just full of like formatting errors and fucked up equals signs. Go look. Go find one Epstein file. Do I find that what? Did they have like a website for it now? Twitter. Go to go to Twitter. Epstein Library from the United States Department of Justice. Click on one. It's full of equal signs. And they're all different.

of older. Wait, did Epstein make this website? Yes, I'm 18 years or older. Department of Justice. They don't want kids seeing it. Look, go find one file. Find one Epstein file. Search full Epstein library. All right. Somebody told me my name's in here. I want to see. Oh, no, that's not any. Pull up one. Equal sign. In a weird place. Okay, data set here, Michael Vito. Oh, Vito Constanceo. Pull up one Epstein file. Well, this one looks fine. Maybe this one's not one of them.

One Epstein file. Pull it up. Weird. I said go on Twitter. What's a good one? Give me a good one. I said go on Twitter, search for an Epstein file. Equal sign.

Well, I'm on the Epstein document. I didn't say to go to the Epstein document page. I said, go to Twitter. Search for an Epstein file. Oh my God. How do I search for an Epstein file on Twitter? Search for Epstein file. Go to Twitter search Epstein file.

File. Okay. Load it up. Equal signs. All right. Well, this is just pictures of Epstein. raping kids. No, you gotta load up an Epstein file. I'm looking at an Epstein file. I don't see no fucking equal

signs. Let me see it. There's gotta be, there's gonna be an equal sign. Let me see it. Here, this one doesn't have any fucking equal signs. There will be an equal sign in a weird place. This one's about Bitcoin. All right, hold on. How about this one? Find... Look, okay, look. Weird character

at the end. Already. Find an Epstein file. That's a Sunni file. You got to find an Epstein file. That's not an Epstein file. Get out of there. This is from Justice GotGub. This is, I don't see no fucking... That's not an Epstein file.

It's from someone named Mark. Why do you, why do I have to look this up? Why do you not have it ready to go? Because I just thought of it. All right here. Here. Shut up. I found one.

Shut up. I just found one. Zoom in. Okay. Sent from me equal sign iPhone. You mean radiating a soft goal with the equal sign look of bliss and excitement. Yeah, that's the pizza. Vito.

Why is there equal signs all over my Epstein files? I'm seeing the equal signs now. Go find another Epstein file. I didn't say there wouldn't be them. I just, I don't know. I don't know why I'll have to find them. You should find them before the show. You are in a journey.

You're looking for equal signs. I don't want to be on a journey. This is not an Epstein file. That's from Jackie Ito. You got to find an Epstein file. Hold on. God damn it. Just clicked on the wrong one.

Click on an Epstein file. I'm trying to click on an Epstein file Hold on Where am I? Oh boy Oh boy I'm re-sharing it I'm re-sharing it

Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy Is this an Epstein file? Is it from Jeffrey Epstein? Is it has been written by him? That's an Epstein file No that's not long enough It's chopped up You got to find another Epstein file

That's all in French That's all in French That's all in French No that's from Edo again Man you are It feels like this is your job. This feels like you're the one who's supposed to find this. It's all just memes and shit.

This is not an Epstein file. Well, we already saw one. How many do I got to find? Three. The problem is it doesn't show recent ones. I got to find three. Look for emails from Jeffrey Epstein. This is going to fuck up my fucking search history now because now it's all fucking Epstein files.

Fine fucking Epstein file, would you? Okay, hold on. Hold on. Why did you not just reach? Here's what you should do before the show. There. There. Retweet some. I'm fucking working before the show and then I can look at your retweets. I can't find this shit before the show.

No, go to the next one. Look, equals. See? All right. Okay. No, I see it. Look. I'm not arguing with you.

I'm just telling you that you should find that. Vito, what's going on? With your remarkable ability to raise an audience, equals sign C2. Have you ever seen this shit in an email? Equal sign C2 diamond mark question mark? Hold on, I was talking about Pokemon Go. If you look at the new Pokemon Go app, the first of many augmented reality games. Ooh, was Jeffrey Epstein going to do some Pokemon Go type shit?

That could have been fun. It doesn't say reality gam equals s. Yeah, it does say reality equals gam signs. It allows people to L0 equal sign K. It seems like it's replacing E's. But it's not. There's a look. It says look.

What was that supposed to say? Oh, yeah, that should be an O. So that should be an O. Look at the very bottom. Look at the very bottom. There's more equals. This should have been an L lecture. but it's not lectures.

What the fuck's going on with these Epstein equal signs? I don't know, man. Go to the next one. You got to find one more. What next one? What do you mean? You got to find one more equal signs.

No, we don't. It's not important at all. Everyone already understands what you're saying. We don't need to find a third one. Look, you have to find a third one. That's from Paul. This one doesn't have any fucking equal signs. Shut up.

Why? Stop. You are bullying me right now with this shit. Why are you in top? Go to media. I was in media But media never shows anything recent It always shows like old shit

No you're messing up I'm not messing up It's your job to find shit before the show Look more equal signs Where Right in the fucking email I'm the only one seeing these Shut up I gotta zoom in on it

Sons it up well Need to add Melania Pressure equal signs C2 BB indictment I think the equal sign means child pornography I don't know if that's what it means, but it's possible. It might be some sort of code.

The information contained I equal sign this communication. It's even down in the signature. You've cracked. You've cracked the Epstein files, Dick. Congratulations. How do we know these are real Epstein files if there's equal signs every which way? You're right. It could be anything. Well, someone's been

dicking around with it. I don't know. Aren't you a little more concerned about Steve Bannon communicating with Jeffrey Epstein than the equal signs? Who's that? That fact guy? as that fat guy. No, I don't really care about that. I care about these equal signs.

What are they trying to say? What do you think about Stephen Hawking being a big Epstein guy? I think it's cool. I think Epstein's cool. I'm looking back on it now. Have you seen all the guys who are going, well, that's why nobody showed up to Stephen Hawking's time traveler party. And I'm going, no, they did show up to his time traveler party.

The problem is they all showed up and they went, where the kid's at? And he said, ah, I can't talk about this. I'm just going to say nobody came. You either have to go with the, you either have to go with the pedophile cabal or you got to go with the Quirk Chungus party. And if I'm going to be honest with you,

I'll go with the pedophiles. I think the Pizza Gates guys took a big L. The pizza guys took a big L. Really? Why? Because there's not, there's no, because, okay, if the Pizza Gate stuff was real, isn't the whole idea that every two seconds, you'd be like, hey, we got to get a pizza.

Hey, we got to get a pizza. They're never talking about pizza. Like, ever. There's one email. They said, do you nine guys want to fuck this little piece of pizza? Did you see that episode file? No, I didn't see that. Is that actually one of them?

I don't think that's one of them. Yeah, it was, uh... Here's a good one, though. See, like, see, like, these are fun. He said, hey, are there any more little pieces of cheese pizza? I have ten guys. I want to fuck a piece of cheese pizza. This is why the pizza get guys.

This is what the pizza guy get guys have. Look, bring this up. to redacted from redacted subject alert send pizza to bobby had a file on may 24th 2017 said pizza to bobby one p m who wants pizza at one p m who wants pizza at one p m clearly he's fucking some kids clearly he's fucking some kids clearly he's fucking some kids i think the pizza guys took it out there's not nearly as much they said there was going to be all sorts of pizza shit here well this is only his vacation email when you find out about the pizza place. Pedophile stuff. That doesn't sound like

they're going to fuck kids. Who needs to know about a pizza place? Makes no sense. Order pizza and salad. I think these are just people ordering a pizza. Salad is a dog. They're going to fuck a kid and a dog. Wait, this could be a good one here. This could be a good one. No, I don't need a pizza, but thank you for offering. That's pretty...

Winky face. That's a little... Winky face. Yeah, this is from Leslie Grove to Slate and Bobby... Are there any equal signs in it? Regarding Jeffrey Epstein, I don't see any equal signs here. Wait, Bobby Slaten. Isn't that a comedian? Leaving tomorrow early, we will be there at four. You need a pizza or anything?

Wow. I'm only interested in everything. This is, this isn't interested in them. I'm sorry. Find another one with the equal sign in there. Find another one with the equal sign? Well, let me search for an equals sign.

Oh, that's a good idea. It says no results found. Interesting. Now they've, now they've really locked you down. Now they've really locked you down. It's like totally incompetent, man. You had all this time to make these really nice and smooth looking, and they're befouled and riddled with equal signs and errors.

Stupid. I don't even want to learn about any kids that got raped. Maybe the Pizza Gate guys were right. I'll get the snacks for 2 p.m. Mr. Epstein wants hot dogs. Uh-oh. Why would a rich financier want hot dogs at 2 p.m? Leslie Graf.

Maybe they are fucking kids. That's an anagram. Yeah, it was Leslie Gravegan. Wait, wait, hold on. This is horrible. It's terrifying. Hold on. In the white freezer in the downstairs kitchen of 71st Street, there are packages of frozen hot dogs. Jeffrey Epstein would like to have hot dogs for lunch tomorrow. And these are the new dogs he likes. I'll take all the packages that we have. There should be two to three. They are called Zwiggy's pop open premium hot dogs.

I bet they are. Oh my God. Wait, hold on. Is this real? Zweggie is a real hot dog thing? Or is he actually have kids in a freezer? It leads to a pedophile site. Please let me know if someone's found them. If not, I have to. Oh, no, maybe the pizza guys, gate guys did win. How many fucking hot dogs was Jeffrey Epstein eating?

They're not. They're not going to put anything good in these Epstein files. In the white freezer and the downstairs kitchen of 71st Street, man, that's a really specific place for the frozen hot dogs to be. Yeah. That's, all right. You know, maybe I am a little creeped out. although now I want to try

Zweggis pop open premium hot dogs maybe they're really good maybe all right that's my problem the equal signs no there's only there's only two reference to Zweggies

I don't I thought maybe Zweggies maybe Zweggis the trafficker all right I've learned a lot about Epstein today would you learn you think he's alive

I think he's alive I hope so man he deserves I think they snuck him out he deserves a break That'd be so stressful. I hope Guy Slane's doing okay. You ever sit in the thing and you go, I hope Miss Maxwell's doing okay.

No, she's a reditor. I think she should be executed. Is she a reditor? She was one of the biggest redditors that there ever was. Wasn't Trump going to pardon her maybe? I think so. He probably will. Yeah.

Because, you know, Israel. Yeah. She should be able to go see her Jewish fan. Hey, give her a blue square, huh? Stop beating up on that poor lady. Stop bullying her. Do you think in prison, they're all putting a Jewish pedophile, like writing it all over her shit? She's going, hey.

Hey, now. Only half of that's true. Is there a black person around who could put a stop to this? Is there a black person here who can defend me? Put a stop to this. Okay, let's see. Go to Patreon. Okay.

You guys days episode is brought to by Zweggies pop open premium hot dogs. available now in the 71st street freezer and I'm not encouraging you to go there and do some detective work but you know you guys brought a gun on that fucking pizza place might as well keep it going and shot a hard drive. What a crazy

What a crazy move. Way to go. Way to go. Who should do any hard drives if you bring a gun? Vote on all the problems at biggest problem. show and get your bonus episode on at patreon.com slash biggest problem. Hopefully next week we can do a bonus episode, yes. Yeah. Okay, next week we'll try to get up a nice bonus episode.

If you have any great ideas for bonus episodes, leave a note in the comments. Okay, Joe Legati Jr. says, for 10, says, the biggest problem in the universe are kidney stones. The average stone that can pass through naturally is one to two millimeters. In 2023, I had one that was eight millimeters. I had to dust it by shooting laser beams into my cock. Into your cock? Wow.

Tang, tangs are eight. Is that actually the thing they do? I guess. I mean, I don't know. This guy says so. Ripped that guy's cock. I mean, yeah, there must be a way to ultrasonically pulverize your stone, I would hope. Is that with a laser?

Hmm. Uh, see, whatever you do, sir, don't, don't tell us more. Steve for 10. Hey, Richard, thanks for unbanned me. Now I can finally share the super chat that got removed that caused Vito to ban me. It read suey, pig, big, pig emoji. You're welcome. Cardinal Bird for Five.

Guys, seriously, you both need to grow up. Cardinal Bird for Five, get a life. What was that about? I have no idea. Steel cat for 10. Hey Richard, sorry to hear about the rocks and your donk. Here's some money to help you feel better. Thank you.

Cardinal Bird for two. E-girl feet, uh, drool. Oh. J.M. for two. Fuck super killer veto. Get back on that scale. Strategie for five. Mr. Masterson and Mr. Jezwaldi.

With deep regret, I cannot watch today's episode live. So here have some money. Get Better Masters and Son. Chuck Dixon my ass. Thank you, Stratory. Strategory for two. Also, nobody wants that. Schizophrenon TV for two.

I'm the last. real Vito fan left. Diamond G for two. Dick is pumping slugs. What does that mean? Pump? Oh, oh, oh, out of my cock. Yeah. Methylvania. I didn't want to, I was worried about masturbating while I had one. Wait, why? Can you masturbate a stone? Well, because it's like, if you're masturbating, you're, uh, wouldn't that help lubricate it? I don't think your jizz goes up into your bladder or your kidneys. Yeah, but what if the stone starts coming out? Maybe you should, like, when you feel the stone's starting to come out, you should start jerking it so that it has a smooth passage out. Or the pleasure of the endorphin rush overwhelms the pain of passing the stone.

The pain that you feel is in your kidneys is up there. Your dick hole is plenty big. Okay, but if you're plenty of big. No, you're, you know, if you're bleeding out on the street. But your penis hole is much too big. It's like throwing a rock into a garage. Methylvania for two. Where is super killer you scammer thief fraud?

Cody Titus for five. You don't always poo when you peepee, but you always pee pee pee when you poop. I come buckets for two. Riveting kidney stone talk comedy. Yeah, sorry. Coo for two. Thank you for not killing yourself. I thought it was interesting.

Whatever. Methylvania for eight. Vito, you will survive the first heart attack, but the second one will definitely kill you. Sell a super killer to Eric. At least he can publish trash faster. Hmm. He's making 100 comics this year. You see that?

Is that what he said? I think so. 100? He's making 100 comics. Uh, isn't he, didn't he try to fund, like, animation, which right now is the stupidest possible time to fund animation, because it's all just going to be AI in, like, a year. Uh, maybe he's banking on that. Peter, Peter, get over. Remember, solicitations, pre-order now.

Or two, you need to buy milk or all these. What? What is it? What are you saying? Well, this is like, his solicitations. We've got to pre-order all the things. Now it's like, instead of just ordering one thing. What are you saying?

Tell me what you're looking at. I'm going to show it to you. Here, bring this up. Now, I need you to hold on a second, Dick. Do you want 5% off? Yeah. Text RIPA to 1-855-4-6-7-9-30. Don't you want to get promotional and transactional text message for Ripper versus

Rippers? Can you imagine all day long? He's going, hey, guys, I got another comic book coming for you. He sent you a text message about it. Ripper versus solicit. This is all the new shit. You can, there's so much shit. Solicitations?

What does that mean? I don't know. This is like the most confusing possible way to say like, buy my comic book. Was there a blacker way to say this? That like, it's a log line, Dick. Rip a good. It's a log line. Solicitations?

Welcome to the official ripaverse solicitation page. That is a very like kind of black. Did he see a sign that was like no solicitors? And he's like, oh, solicitations. Solicitations to you. I mean, it's kind of a word that, like, in a black, you know, affectation, it kind of comes out smooth. It's like a black steampunk word. I'm the solicitationer.

Hello, I got some solicitations for you. Step into my vestibulery and check out my solicitations. Some of my news solicitations. Each solicitation has a pre-order cutoff date and a release date. Each pre-order must be received after-off date? What? It's a solicitation with a cut-off date? Not like a...

I don't fucking know. like an ending period. Well, here's why it doesn't make sense. How is it a solicitation and a pre- is it a pre-order or a solicitation? Just call it a pre-order. What is the difference? We got Alpha Corps 3, which you can solicitate on the 29th of April.

Salvage lethal force, which will be solicitated on June 10th. Free solicitating? Wait. Soilis. So you solicit them? Which will also be solicitated on June 10th. So, release state. Reserva...

Okay, dude, you're using three words. Is it a solicitation or pre-order or a reservation? That's three different fucking things. All right, well, I think I'm going to solicitate some seorries. I think I'm very excited about... Yeah, solicitation. First 1,000 orders include a solicitation character card for my solicitation with Art by Cow Cow I can't see what are you looking at?

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm looking at the... This is the page for Saris. Seri's... Which has a release date, a reservation cut off. When's the solicitation begin? Well, when does the solicitation begin or end? Now I'm confused, because there's a pre-order and there's a reservation.

So is there a reservation or is it a pre-order or is it a solicitation? Now it's a pre-order. I don't think that's a solicitation. I'm bamboozled. I feel deeply bamboozled. There's a lot going on. So, yeah, I never know. There's always like 80 different things on this website that you can throw money at.

And I never know which ones. All right, you can pre-order solicitation. Is that a gay black slender man in the middle? Who's that? Yeah, that's Comrade Justice or whatever the fuck. Oh, wait, I can scryl left and see the fan. There's too much bullshit going on. That's a, of course.

You can do that on most sides. Just click and drag the header. Yeah, why not? Well, you can also get his business. You know, he's got a book. He's got a book about business, right? You know, why does it say, wait, wait, wait, go back. It said on the bottom.

Oh, I'm going back. It said on the bottom right, never miss a drop. Where did that say that? That was one of those things that popped up. It's that thing you got to, what do you call it? It was like an ad. That's where you got to give me your phone number so you don't miss a drop. A drop of what?

Because then he'll blackness? No, like a product drop, a new exciting product drop. Never miss a drop. Oh, like a sneaker drop. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're drops. He's solicitating a drop with a pre-order fulfillment.

How to bill, look, here's. Here's the reason we get so confused by him using the word solicitate, pre-order, reservation, all interchangeably. Because we don't understand how to build a creative business, the Riperverse way. And thankfully, he's releasing a book that'll make this easy for all of us. What's up, everybody? I'm Eric July, the founder and owner of Ripperverse Publishing. And I'm excited to announce something brand new for us, our first ever text-based book,

How to Build a Creative... Our first ever text-based book. Isn't that exciting? Dude. How did he come up with these? like phrases. It's not only a book. It's our first ever. Text-based book. Now, we've never done a text-based book before. Oh, good. I love text-based books. Those are my favorite kind. The ripaverse weight. This is a project I've wanted to do for a while. I've been working on it.

It says before I even started doing a business, I've wanted to write a book about how to start a business. There's almost nothing on the business side, especially for independence. How do you actually make money doing this? Well, you have to solicitate. Be black. Be black. In a conservative space. Step one, Be black. All about.

Now, it's framed around comics because that's my experience, of course, with the Ripperverse. But the principles here apply far beyond comics. The principles. An artist,

writer, a musician, or any kind of independent creator trying to build something real. This is also a first book with a digital process. My man. You'll be able to grab it from us.

Look, I mean, how can you not take it seriously? There's a stock photo of a table slowly zooming in on a clearly digital image overlaid on a cheap iPad. That's business.

This is what business looks like. Hey, you had a little secular water. You took your glasses off because that's how important the principles of business are. This comic book, that's a text-based comic book cover. You make sure you got your little plant hanging out as you read Eric Chilize. How about a great business? Dude, let's make a prediction for the chapters.

Yeah. There's going to be a chapter on clip art. Mm-hmm There's gonna be a section on how to deal effectively with criticism Yeah, dealing with criticism Okay

Dealing with criticism There's going to be a chapter about Making up words Because it makes you seem more Vibose Making up words, okay That you have perspacity Making up words, okay

Hiring lesbians There's gonna be a chapter About your family There's gonna be a chapter about Crazy White Bishes to run all the shit. Crazy lesbys. Why your drummer is the perfect CFO. And making a website.

How to Make a Great Website. Palette Stacking 101. Your Forklift and You. You can stack multiple products and top products if you get a warehouse with a bunch of shelved and a forklift. There will be a chapter behind Dean Black. Black. And how to get white women to run your social media for you? Yeah. Okay. And then not help them fund their cancer treatment.

Yeah, I'm learning. I mean, there's so much to learn here. It's best for you. We're entering new territory with this one, and it may be the first of many. If you've ever wanted to turn your creative passion into a legitimate business, this book was written for you. This is not a legitimate business, Eric. Does anyone believe Eric July wrote this book also? Like, which ghostwriter did he hire to write this fucking thing? Chad GPT. Did he get the same one who fucking wrote Gary's stupid from a YouTuber to prison, whatever the fuck? Yeah, he probably got a bulk deal with them.

From prison to grifting online. Can you go see? Not available for pre-order. I'm sorry, is it a solicitation or a pre-order? You should solicitate this one. Can you see the comments? Can you go read the comments? So 300 people have bought this shit?

Let me see. Wait, wait, what's the goal? Go back. 300 people have bought it? Yeah. That means he hit a fail goal of $10,000. Wait, how much is it? the book?

I don't know. $1,000 for $40 for a fucking hard cut. Why would you want a hardcover copy of this? Why would you want a CGC sign? This makes no fucking sense. Why would you get a CGC what is this? A $300? Hold on.

Why is there a $300? Why would you need five copies of Eric's retarded book and a t-shirt and a signed-graded CGC? You're selling your business novel is a graded CGC fucking what the

fuck? Soft cover and hard you want a soft cover and a hardcover? Well you can't grade a hard cover They won't do it at CGC so. Can you imagine this person existing in the wild and like going in their house and saying oh you got a hard cover and a soft cover of this weird book? Wow

Wow do you have it graded and slabbed in plastic with a number grade on it? Eric, man if anyone bought, if anyone really bought five copies of Eric's fucking book with just a be great t-shirt, that's insane. Why would you need five copies of Eric's fucking business book?

That's so weird. Why does it just say be great? That's the shirt? I don't know. Dude, I know we like called this shit a cult, but like at a certain point, you got to be like, yeah, I'd read Eric's business book. I'll give you 25 bucks. or for $300 I can get five fucking copies

and one of them is encased into plastic slab. No, that's insane. The digital one's $12. Man, I don't know. I want to read this. I want to read this book. Oh, when this book comes out, I feel like we need to read.

I need to know. I need to know. I mean, obviously, I'm, you know, I'm terrible at business. So if I can get a, if I can solicitate that book, maybe I can really figure this whole thing out.

If I can solicitate the way this man solicitates. All right. What's the, what are the... I'm learning a lot. I'm learning a lot. And that's what's important. I want to be great. I just want to be great. Let's see here. Where are we?

Pete Rego, rig for two, all these nuts. Oh, yeah. Righty, tidy, 91 for one. Thanks. Buttered bread slice for two. Are you guys excited for the Jay Cole album night? Who's Jay Cole? I don't know who that is. Dry Marmot for five. You can't just fix some disabilities and fantasy veto.

You erase the whole identity and person. personality. They clap, aren't clap. Broken, clap. Just clap differently. Clap abled clap. Hunter Wadley for 20. Catching a live finally. Cheers guys. Thanks for the big 20 Hunter. Harrison Fragga for two says hashtag dirty Jew. That's the problem with that hashtag incorrectly. You're supposed to use the blue square. No, somebody's, then someone comes and puts the blue square on it. Somebody walks the commercial and they said, wait, I'm supposed to put hashtag dirty Jew on all these kids' backpacks? No, no, no. You got it wrong. It's like a knock, knock, knock.

LJ knock knock who's there like somebody's got to do like dirty Jew and you go blue sticker on that no there you go LJ cloborino for two Epstein files say Jeff read a super killer he was a big fan Cody Titus for five last week in wait you missed FFS for five would you rather be mentioned oh you're right FFS for five or frog Tony's DMs watch FFS for the new full drop this weekend Masterson is mentioned oh who is who is this charming creature you don't know FFS I've been on FFSS FFS is a a comic-related comics-gate adjacent podcast. Oh. I know that they are famously critical of Frog Tony. Wait, why am I mentioned? FFS, tell me what I'm mentioned in. Well, I mean, you're kind of involved in the ongoing Frogtonia drama. Tell me how I mentioned, how am I mentioned?

I want to know how I'm... Well, you got to watch the show. They're not going to tell you now. No, no, no. Tell me now. I'm not watching it. I have too much stuff to do. How am I mentioned?

They're baiting you. They're baiting you into watching the show. It doesn't work on me. I got other stuff to do. How am I mentioned in the end? Mr. Masterson is mentioned. In what way? All I know is the Frog Tony Saga has caught the imagination of YouTubers in America or widely around.

It's been fascinating to watch. It's been fascinating. You don't sound fascinated. We got clipped. People were passing our show around. because of the Miss Piggy stuff that you were doing? That was part of it, yeah? Oh, yeah.

It's all, it's all seems like a very complicated. Because I was like, I don't want to read these. I don't think it's right. And you're like, let's read them for money. I said, okay. Well, I guess. I said read them for money. Yeah, you did.

We like money. Sure, you did read them for money. I'll do it. And if anybody has anything else, they want us to read for money, that's always an option. You can always say, here's something in a new for the new full drop this weekend. Masterson has mentioned. How? Masterson has mentioned.

I think he means you're mentioned in the text. Yeah, how? I assume that's what he means. I know, but how? Well, you're going to have to read him to find out. I'm asking him. How am I mentioned? Maybe he'll tell you in the chat.

L.J. Clauberina for two. Cody, Titus for five. Last weekend I saw Vito writing a rascal scooter around Franken's sons. I wish, but I was at Franken's like two weekends ago. Diamond G for two. Vito Epstein Wait, Vito, don't use emojis. Vito Duck Epstein files

because he don't want to see his name. Got it. MF. Surup for five. Did you guys see EJF. Gerepe was entirely funded by Epstein? I did not see that. He got some money. What do you mean entirely?

He's not like, well, he's not putting rockets on Mars. I'm sure he, he's talked about how he got funded by Epstein. He talked about how he got funded by Epstein a long time ago. Epstein never gave me any money. we're not funding

like eugenics adjacent stuff the Quizler for 20 says thanks for keeping the show going my two Shomo Kings on a Thursday thank you I gotta say I'm sad that gayface has not emerged as a recurring character yet we discussed oh yeah

character gay face on a previous episode I'm waiting for someone to step up and assume the role of gayface Crusader Joe for five says moral of the story it's the juice it's always the juice All of the juice I lost the channel for that

Diamond G for two Vito converted from woke to Awakened Stu K for two pull out Eric July Funko Pop Stu K for two Release all the goods

Do you have the Eric July Funko Pop I don't have an Eric July Funko Pop I'm getting complaints Dick Yeah you apparently have

the remainder of the Vito's booty shenanigans Yeah Which I feel like we need to Either A return to people or B, find a way to at least thank them for their contribution in some way. Well, go for it. You can thank them for their contribution as much as you want.

Somebody said us in Eric July Funko Pop. That's something that, you know, they put effort into that. You have all the shit. Maybe this is it. Maybe we'll find out. Maybe we'll find out next time. I don't know. Okay.

Fair enough. What all number five? Why did Vito go and Frog Tony's stream? to defend the essay at Masterson's house right before stream last week Balder, he's got... I did not defend S.A. at anyone's house. Balder's a fucking liar.

There were essays at my house? What essays are you talking about? Who was writing essays? Were there a bunch of equal signs in them? Anyway, the Frogtony saga continues and I'm glad everybody's having a good time. Yeah. It's a very complex saga with a lot of interweaving parts.

And FFS, I guess, is going to cover it. It says, watch the show for the full drops, raw and uncut. How many drops are there? That's the worst part. I'm like, Tony, how many times did you message this fucking lady? Can you stop texting and saying crazy shit? Jesus Christ. So I don't know.

Sleapathy says, Dick, thank you for unblocking me for five. Says, Dick, thank you from blocking me. Vito, eat your heart out. Watch FFS. Oh, that's the one where you were just reading. You left that part out. No, I didn't. I read the one.

I didn't read that one. Oh, watch FFS this weekend if you want to see all of Daelish and Tony's DMs. There you go. The FFS podcast. What's in them? What's in them? Are you guys like... Is this part of their crew sleeping psychopathy and this guy?

What was this guy? FFS? I don't know who to name who's on FFS. It's like a bunch of guys. Somebody else says wait for Katie to clip it, which is, you know, I mean... We don't want to steal views for anybody, but that is the easiest way to get the latest gossip is to subscribe to Katie did. Fried onions and garlics is best for 30-somethings. Best time slot.

I can watch it live in Singapore now. Also resub Patreon after a year. Oh, thanks. Sin is my name cynical. All right. We'll have a new bonus episode next week. Vote on all the problems at biggest problem. That show.

And take care of yourself. Enjoy the Super Bowl. I got nothing. all right goodbye everyone bye