The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 238

Episode Date: August 29, 2026

Vito Gesualdi and Tommy C (@TheTommyC) discuss the growing cost of love

Ladies gentlemen, it's the biggest problem in the universe, episode 238 with my good friend, Tommy C. Hi, I'm excited. How are you? How was that for an intro? I nailed it that time. Tommy. How you been, man? I haven't seen you in a while. No, it's been a long time.

It's been, it's been, I've been, I've just left the locale universe. Peacefully. What is, is it? What's the right word for that? Peacefully. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I got a way she's a key.

What is the low, okay. here's the thing and i've had so we've had billy on this show billy the fridge who is currently a member of the lowell universe this is a podcast network run by keem star which i still don't get i still don't understand you were the were the first you were one of the first lull cow people well that's the weird thing like all right i was a part of the original podcast i left right and then they put the universe so i came back last august and it was not what I left. It was something completely different. In fact, I liked it a lot more. I thought it was like kind of unique. Yeah. You had these sort of daisy chains YouTube channels that kind of all like

fight over Kim's clout and donations. And I thought there was like I thought there's something viable there, you know, and so they build like a group. Like no one, you have to give Kim credit. No one's ever really done anything like that before. And I like the idea it's like it's because I had the morning show in East Coast. So you know what? Um, for all it's fault. So, well, Let me slow you down. Let me slow you down. So lull cow started off. It was boogie 2988, Wings of Redemption. And you were like the Wrangler, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because you're not, you're not like a, considered a lull cow the way those other two guys are. I don't want to say that. I don't have it happen. Do you have a Kiwi Farms page? I don't have one yet.

Oh, you still don't have a Kiwi Farms page? It's a great honor. It's a great honor. Uh, yeah. But now, Kee Star has, yeah. I was going to say, Keith Farms page. Who hates you? Null hates my guts, Null hates everybody. Noll doesn't have a friend in this fucking world, so it doesn't matter. So then Kiem expanded it out. It's now what, like 15 different podcasts that all feed into the next one.

But what's the theme? It's just the idiots talking to each other? I mean, that's what this show is. Well, they have this interesting thing because it all runs through a, it all runs through a very active discord, extremely active. It's like the chat in there is 24-7, right? So what you could do, if you want to sort of challenge somebody, you can jump up on the show. And there's like a rule.

You have to, they get three shots. So you have to throw them out three times before they can leave. So you can kind of go at each other sort of in. So if you really wanted to fight with Boogie 2988, which I don't know why you would. This is where you can get in on it. Is that the appeal of Lowell Cow is that anyone could at any point become a part of the Lowell Cow universe? Is it like a breeding ground for weirdos? I don't know what the appeal is.

I'm like the appeal to me was a group of podcasts the appeal to the average lol cow fan I have never really quite put my finger on that you know because like what I think is cool about it and like I said I'm no complaints is not necessarily what the fans think it's cool cool about it it's weird yeah it's sort of like um let me give you an idea like the reason I left all right which is just something Kiem did he started posting people's report cards and they're all money-oriented right? And it at the end, Oh, like how much money you're making on streams? Kim Star was putting out there.

And you know what that's going to do. That's going to make it like, I mean, I did a whole show on. I want to bash it. I don't think it's healthy. You know, I think that's, you know, because... Is that why you left? Is that Kim Star was putting out how much money you were making? He was going to. He didn't do it because I left. But you quit before. Now you, then you came back. Now you quit again. And now what are we got?

Now we're back on the Tommy C experience. People find you on YouTube. Is that it? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Now I'm on, yeah, now I'm on Shop of the Point. But I'm kind of an amateur now. I'm just, I'm going back to work, and I'm in it for the love now. You're pounding the pavement, getting back in the hot, fast-paced world of podcasting. Yeah, yeah. It's just doing regular podcasts, doing my Shop on the Point stream, and that's it. And I'm going back to work. And you're also an expat. You're in Germany, right?

Well, yeah, I'm in, yeah, I'm in Germany. I'm so funny. It was funny. We talked about, asking questions that are anybody know because I was asking about you should bring up dick, but you're asking stuff that I didn't like, yeah, everybody knows about dick. Nobody knows who the fuck you are. I'm in a, I'm in a rat. Yeah, true. It's true. I guess I'm, I'm, I'm used to people knowing the fuck I am. So I'm going to be the ego maniac. No, um, I'm, I'm, I'm an I'm, I'm an Iraq abet. Uh, I was in there in 2007 and eight. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, seven. Did you get any years while you were there? What's that? They weren't doing the ear thing in the, The Iraqi times.

Yeah, they really frowned on you bringing back Iraqi years. Vietnam. Vietnamese years, it was cool. But Iraqi years, they're like, nah, we're past years now. I think that was overrated in NAM too. I don't think that was as bad as we would have. So you went to Iraq, then you came to America, and then you went straight from Iraq to Germany? No, I was stationed.

Yeah, I was stationed there. I deployed with them. I came back. I had my beautiful family, and I was really happy. me in the future and then my wife left me. Was this a German woman or an American woman left you? A German woman left you. So I had two choices.

She left me just before I was supposed to what they called PCS, right? And that means go back to the state. So I had two choices. Either I could fight for what's called a European out and fight for custody because I saw this happen on my buddy that live in California. What they do is they get you right before you go. The girls file for abandonment and you lose your kids. Because they don't care that you're stationed in San Diego.

they care that you're in the courtroom in Germany, so you lose your kids. So I got what's called a European out. I fought like a dog. And then I met my current wife, and we had a baby. And that's it. But now my daughter's actually grown now.

But if you would, so if at any point you had gone to America, would you just lost access to your kids at some point? Yes. Because I get a court date. And I say, can't go to court date. That's abandoned.

I watched it happen to a buddy of mine. Wow, that's fucked. Some of the German girls, no, they know what to do. They know how to do. They know how to do things. Well, I'm glad you're living it. I mean, it's interesting. You've found your way into the world of commentary and podcasting.

It's like we got a friend in Germany, chilling out and commenting on what all the year. Do you ever, do you ever miss? Is there anything about America you ever miss where you're like, I wish I could just go back. Is it the pizza? You can't get good pizza in Germany? I'm my friends and family, but other than that pizza. Yeah. No, you can't get good pizza over here.

You can't. And Italian pizza sucks. Strangely enough, it's New York, New Jersey. pizza is. Yeah, can't get a nice American. Not with a bat. I mean, even, even, I'd even take Boston some days and in, or, or Chicago. Any New England pizza is a good pizza. It's the same thing with the, the bagels is, uh, the water in, uh, New York is filthy, New Jersey. It's dirty water. So it makes the best pizza dough. It has so much flavor in it. One of my favorite, one of my favorite stories about the New York water is at one point it was so contaminated that there were micro, micro,

crustaceans in the water, like little microscopic crabs. Okay? In the tap water. And the Jews of New York had to go to the rabbis and be like, can we drink the tap water? Because there's shellfish in it. Like, are we allowed to drink the New York tap water? And the rabbis all did you get together and they said, we don't think God is trying to trick us into drinking lobster.

We don't think he's that conniving. So you can drink the New York tap water was what they decided for the Jews. Those people didn't have the courage of the courage of their convictions. What a bunch of phone juice. Well, they all got to tricking God is like their favorite thing, but like they don't want to get tricked in return. Like you know about the string that goes around New York? Do you know the string? Yeah.

I think I watched because I had to study something about, so you could like do stuff that you can't do on certain days. You're not allowed to carry parcels. You know, you can't conduct business on the Sabbath or whatever. So you can't like, you know, move boxes. There's videos of Hasidic Jews in Israel. Like if you're like a shop owner and you're trying to like load stuff off a truck, a bunch of Hasidic Jews to show up and they go, ah, la, la, la, and yell at you until you stop. But in New York, they, yeah, you can only do it inside.

So in New York, they built, they put a whole string around the city and they said, as long as you're inside the string, you're technically inside. And we've officially tricked God. Sounds like the Jews are like every other religion and completely full of of shit and find ways to like contradicts themselves without actually doing it. It's it's uh, yeah, you follow the rules until the rules become inconvenient. And then you go, ah, what are you going to fucking do? Well, you're Catholic.

You grew up Catholic, right? I did. I, uh, well, I grew up Christian, Christian. Oh, you're not, you're not. You're not Roman? You're not Roman? Uh, we just kind of went. I think it was Christian Christian church we went to just.

You didn't do official Friday? Maybe it was. You didn't do it official Fridays? Okay, here's the problem is my family was bad at religion, so I don't even remember what was going on. At one point, my dad, he's like, I think I'm living my life wrong, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to go to hell. So we better start going to church to try and stave that off. But I would always be like, well, what is this? Like, what's going on?

And they're like, the problem was by the time we started getting into religion, you got to get to kids early. So they don't ask questions. They're just like, yeah, God, Jesus, whatever. But we didn't start going to church until I was like eight. And they're like, yeah, there's a guy he made up. everything. And I'm like, well, that just kind of sounds like bullshit. Like, I was like, how is that possible? But then they got me with the hell stuff. The hell stuff is very good.

Once they go, well, if you don't believe in it, you're going to burn forever. And I was like, oh, well, then I'm taking this. Okay, I'm serious about this. I don't want to burn forever. Yeah, but that's Pascal's wager. That doesn't work. Well, as a kid, you can't understand Pascal's wager. All you know, is the adults around you were talking about burning forever in a lake of fire. And you're like, ah, okay, fuck. but I remember I was such a neurotic little kid that they're like you have to accept Jesus into your heart

they made me go to Bible camp I said Bible camp you got to accept Jesus into your heart and I was like a weird neurotic kid and I was like okay I'll accept Jesus in my heart and then they reiterated it they're like no really you got to accept Jesus in your heart I'm like okay okay okay and then I like went to you know my bed in the Bible camp I'm like I accept Jesus into my heart and I started thinking about it I'm like wait if I do it twice does it cancel out the first one for some fucked up reason and I started to started living in this existential fear that because I had asked Jesus into my heart too many times or that I did it, the odd number, there was going to be some technicality when I went to heaven where he's like, no, you undid the first one. Now you burn forever. And that was when I realized

I probably, eventually I figured out, I'm like, you, the funniest thing was, so my dad ran a Domino's Pizza franchise and he had a bunch of delivery drivers work for him. And I don't remember this guy's name or whatever. But it was just like, yeah, hey, I was hanging around the store. and one of the guys who drove for my dad was like, yeah, I got to deliver some pizzas. You want to go for a ride? I'm like, yeah, sure. Which thinking back, I go, I'm good thing that guy wasn't a child molester. I don't know why I was just riding around with random employees.

But then I'm like, yeah, you know, I went to Bible camp. You know, I accepted Jesus or whatever. And then just some random, like, fucking, what do you call it? Scumbag work for my dad. He's like, oh, that shit's all made up. And I was like, what? And that was my, like, oh, wait, adults can just lie about burning forever. He's like, yeah, none of that. That's never going to happen. Don't worry about it.

That what I told you? I was like, well, now I have different things that I'm worried about. Yeah, I would have robbed a bank as soon as I known that. I would like go on. I would start, like, stealing from my mother's purse. Yeah. Well, that guy was cool. He gave me a copy of, I remember he gave me a copy of Doom 64 he didn't want. I'm like, well, if this guy's giving me free on C4 games, he must know the truth. Yes. I mean, God. You get a listen to like, like somebody doesn't bring you shit and yells at you? You're going to take N64 games. I'll take it 64 games.

Well, guys, I got the problems from last. week. Let me see. Do I have a drum roll here? I don't even know. I might. Media assets. I have intense applause. All right. Last week we had our good friend Carl, KK.K. Carl. God damn it. I got to stop calling him KK.

Carl Hamburger from Who are these podcasts, who took the top spot with the problem of recycling. How's recycling in Germany, by the way? Are they strict about that? Yeah, they are. Like, Y. P.L.'s would be a little time. I don't give a shit when I throw stuff. They are.

My problem of bad lighting and movies and TV shows came at second. Also the problem of inspirational disabled people came at third. Tommy, don't be inspired by the disabled. It's a trick. They're all murderers and liars. And then Carl's weird problem of

taking a shit at work, which I thought when he proposed to me was going to be about how annoying it is to take a shit of work. But it was him from the perspective of a job creator being upset that his employees have to poop. I said, Carl, you're a fucking psychopath. Obviously, people have to poop.

That problem ended up being negative. Can you believe it? We got some comments here from the last episode. Twistlock says, I really enjoyed the new version of the show. It's nice to have a show where both hosts actually want to be there. NGR lover says, I almost complained that the woman's audio was too quiet. And then I came to my senses. We had a mint salad come in to read the news.

and another and you're right she did she did good 1E 2D says god damn it you added a countdown and you convinced meant to come on you're in my view for an extra month well done Vito and plead the fifth

says I need the next co-host to be Ethan Ralph look I could get Ethan Ralph I'm pretty sure I don't know if he's the best guy for this show he's a fun guy what are his problems right now problems are ducking child support alcoholism

alcoholism child support Maybe he would have some good problems. Maybe we do get Ethan Ralph on here. Ethan's a, evens had to come up right now, though. I see he's feuding with Mersh. I don't know if you've been following that story at all. No, that one's he, because you mentioned Murch before. I was like, did I miss something? See, I've been in Lelka, here. Do you know Mersh? Mersh is, uh, he's like a podcast guy. I think we, we did a bonus episode with him one time.

Um, but basically there's this girl named Ice Dancer who's been sleeping with everybody. She slept with Stavros from Comtown, formerly from Comtown. Then she slept with Ethan Ralph. She apparently almost had sex with this guy, Schizoshan. And then Mersh really fell in love with this girl. You got to send her Nintendo Switch. I think it was trying to really lock her down and she ended up leaving him. And then the big news this week is that Mersh got her fired from her job.

Oh. Because she was like a paralegal and was like, I think sending him messages. He was like, hey, here's this case I'm working on. And he went to her fucking work. It was like, hey, this bitch has been sharing confidential court documents. I think you better fire her ass. And everyone's going, oh, Mersh, that's not a good way to. I think you just got to move on, man.

Anybody gets involved with Ethan Ralph. And I don't know that it's his fault this time. It just doesn't. The girls just don't end up in a good place. Let's be honest. I've never, I mean, Ethan Ralph has been with a number of women and they're all doing great and everything's fine. Red Scobber says she did have sex with Schizachshan. I heard a rumor that maybe it didn't happen.

I don't know what's going on. Paralegal. She probably got replaced by AI. Look, I don't have the whole story. I do have, we'll see. It might come up. Let's talk about the story like we do know about it and make a bunch of shit up. Well, that's the problem is like, it's one of these stories where I go.

It doesn't sound that complicated. It sounds like Mersh, who, let's be clear, is one of these internet personalities who, you know, all these guys are always like, you know, I'm the ultimate man, you know, or like I'm a badass, whatever else. And the second, like a fucking piece of tail shows up, they go, can I buy you a Nintendo Switch? I thought we could hang out or something. He bought her like a ticket to go on a cruise and then she bailed. He ended up going on like a cut cruise by himself. And you're like, oh, man.

Man, oh man. Don't make any of this. And I think the only thing I try to tell people, we've had other people on this show who have chased tail and there was famously a man named Tony who was chasing tail and it ended badly for him. I try to tell these guys, I'm like, listen, man, the only thing you can do is take your licks and move on. You got to go, yep, I fell in the pussy trap.

You know, I was chasing a piece of tail. I bought this bitch. I bought her a switch. What was it? And y'all, all you got to do is you got to go, what was I thinking? Why'd I buy this girl? I was really down bad, huh guys? That's the only thing you can say.

Yeah. But he's kind of going like, she's a bad girl. She took advantage of me or whatever else. It's like, no, dude, you were down bad for the pussy. And you started buying her things. You started having little thoughts in your head about making children or whatever. And you fucked up. Just taking it and move on.

How old is he? How old is this guy? Mercia's got to be in his 40s, I would imagine. Yeah, but that's the thing. You know, it's kind of the same. Like, all right. I'm not saying I was like a lady killer or anything, but I don't have the problem with women that all these,

I mean, I got a divorce, I suppose, but, uh, I, I still, I never had a problem dating or anything like that.

I usually could find somebody. The problems that guys have nowadays are just like, unbelievable. Like, who buys a brother to the Nintendo Switch to begin with? I don't know, dude. Like,

I don't, all right. Well, you know what? As long as we're talking about it, and I thought, I thought this might be one of my problems. Yeah.

Uh, let's just, let's do it. one of the problems because we're talking about it. My problem is breakup letters, Tommy C. Breakup letters are... Don't write them. Don't write them. Don't write them.

For any reason. There's no reason to write one, ever. The best you can do, the best you can do is maybe send a text that go, hey, I had fun. Thanks for all the laughs. Peace. That's the best you're going to get. That's it. Any more than that.

Any more than that, you're in trouble. I'm trying to think if I've ever written a girl a breakup letter. And I don't think so. I have. I once had a girl try to guilt me into writing her a love letter. She's like, you're supposed to be like this big writer guy or whatever. How come you never write me love letters? And I'm like, because that's fucking corny.

That's fucking weird. Because I'm really bad with women. Yeah, and I'm really bad with women. I also don't like a lady telling me she was like trying to dictate it. She's like, you should write me a beautiful love letter. And I'm like, no, that's fucking. weird. Just do it. Just do it. That's the one thing you got to get fucking over, especially when you get married or something. You got to just do it. Just do it. And it's,

oh, Tommy, you're a big pussy whip guy. All right, I've been married like over a decade now, and I don't have any of these fucking problems right in the letter. I wish my wife would tell me to do that. But asking for asking for a love letter is like, how can, but how can I write a good one if it's fucking under the gun? Like, if you don't do it your shitty boyfriend. You make, you make, you make fucking Well, now I got chat to E.PT. So now I could have, if it was now, if it was now, it was been set. I would be like, yeah, I'm going to write you the best fucking love letter you ever saw.

All right. Here I have the, this is the breakup letter sent from Mersh to this girl Ice Dancer, who I guess her real name is Brixton. As people bring up, there was a previous version of this show where a previous host wrote a breakup letter. also did not go well. So here's Mershersh's breakup letter. It's not very flowery, though. It's kind of almost like a legal fucking document. Here's the other thing is like if you're going to write the angry breakup letter, just go, you really fucked up a good part of my life, rotten piss. Like that's all you need.

Is Brickson abroad? Brickston, I believe is the lady. I believe that is iced answer's actual name. Okay. All right. Let's hear it. All right. So Brickson, he starts. I'm not sure where to start, but I suppose beginning is generally the best place. Last year, a young woman popped up in my message requests on X. Also, don't write a breakup letter if you're an internet person who this could then become the father. What did you think was going to happen? As I'm reading this, I'm going, should I read this? And I go, well, yeah, because he wrote it. He must have known

this would happen. You know what is you thinking? You know what's worse than a breakup letter? A breakup video. And there's lots of them out there. I specifically remember Stern, Baba Booie doing one. It was most embarrassing fucking thing. They had found something in the late 90s. Oh yeah, they's had some late 90s when he's fucking, I don't know, his teeth were bigger. They found this in the 90s. He was in his 20s in the mid 80s and he was like, he made him look like a fucking idiot. So yeah, why not? Just like just say peace, bitch, you know, I will say like this seems to be the worst kind of break up the letter is the one that's kind of like, hey, maybe we get back together because that one's just pathetic. This is like the angry

you fucked everything up for me letter, but again, just don't write this. Uh, so, She comes to him, says, Mersh, I have feelings for you. I live in Florida. I dismissed it as a long line of attempts to troll me. That was smart, Mersh. You should have went with that instincts. Before this young woman entered my life, I was alone. I wasn't lonely.

I was resigned to an emotional purgatory that well for most people might feel like hell. It allows a person like myself to reassign that energy into other avenues where fulfillment and success is more likely. the show helping cats we like that making money enjoying life in general all right so merch was in an emotional purgatory this was a cage i built myself and i was comfy him i spent or wasted a lot of energy in my younger years looking for a girl i could spend forever with but a combination of being born ugly and poor and going through legit trauma and substance abuse and being an F slur in general. Why did you do this, Mersh? Come on. Did you really think this girl was not going to like hand this off to fucking Ethan Ralph and

everyone else? I feel about reading this. I'm like one of the guys who almost has sympathy where I go, all right, man, I get it. You fell in the pussy trap. You were really, really upset. But why make these words happen? Why do you think that anybody cares about how you feel? I think it's the whole problem with America. That's why I stopped dating American women fucking 20 years ago. Nobody fucking cares. And something is, they tell us as kids, like your mom sit there, everybody's going to love you and everybody cares.

And nobody fucking cares. If you could accept the fact that nobody really actually gives a shit, it's so freeing. And you might be thinking, oh, no, it's a really dark place. No, you know what to expect. Nobody cares. You'll never write this stupid fucking thing because you know nobody gives a shit. They just want something their end out of their relationship,

and they want you to give it and they'll give back. Get over yourself. There you go. It's also this sector of the internet. You've got to understand that like people are playing characters, man. Like even ice dancers like goofing around like, hey, maybe if I sleep with some of these guys, I'll get some dirt, I can have some fun. Okay, Cody says I guess Mersh will not be a guest on the show. I sent Mersh a message inviting him on the show and I'll still invite him on the show.

But the thing I'm going to tell him is the same thing I told Frogtony and the same thing I told other guys is don't write a letter. First of all, if you get tied up with these women, don't fucking talk about it, don't send messages, don't make it worse. And second of all, you got to eat a little bit of shit. Like, you have, this is, this is, you're fucking up by sending out this letter. And I don't know how to not comment on it. Okay.

At some point, this young woman decided to impulsively hook up with the grossest pig I've ever encountered in my 40 plus years of dealing with the worst people. I assume he's talking about Ethan, oh, I'm sorry, I'm on this one. I assume he's talking about Ethan Ralph here and not Stavros. but they're both big fat guys. I got to say, Ice Dancer, you've been with the worst,

now get with the even worseest. All right, let me, let me get it. You know what would really stick it to Merge, Ice Dancer? You want to peeve that. If you fucked Vito.

Merce would be fucking so blown out. I know exactly how to get him, Ice Dancer. I know what'll hit him hard. Ice dancer, do you hate yourself? Do you hate all these men you've been sleeping with? Vito's your man.

I think this is the first time. See, the other problem with this is that it's getting Ethan Ralph all fired up to just talk about it endlessly. Looking back, this should have been my first major sign to cut and run. You plugged fully in and voluntarily made a decision to fuck Ethan Ralph. Jesus Christ, you even went back for seconds. Ethan Ralph's looking a lot better these days. He's not, you know, he used to be like a big fat guy. Now he's kind of trim.

He's on that tort of diet. I'm not going to say it's like, you know, and I love Ralph. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that her father missed all her dance recitals. It has everything to do with Ethan Routhing away. No, she's a perfectly stable, young lady. It's sad to see you sniffing around the trough on your own time, looking for seconds plugged into the destroy Mersh thing. Okay, here's what's crazy.

You shared private conversations and enriched people who have spent 10 years trying to ruin my life. Why would you give her more private conversations if you know that she's turning around and handing them to Ethan Ralph? What are you doing, Mersh? Just stop. Fucking cut your losses. Like, take the L. It doesn't even have to be a big L.

You're right. She's running around. She's fucking everybody. It doesn't matter. She's a slut or whatever. Just make that your line. Why are you going down this road? You are part, okay, complaining, complaining.

And what would become the overall theme of our relationship? We establish a dynamic where I would spend time and energy actively trying to improve your life and enrich you. Yes, you were chasing pussy. We know. I bought you a switch, dude. Ralph was robbed. You're not me. But that's what he doesn't understand.

Mersh, this is what you don't understand. These girls don't want little presents and little, he left me roses by the stairs. Surprises let me know he cares. Yeah. They don't want that. They want Ethan Ralph to fuck him dirty

in the back of some fucking Mexican villa. And pay to their fucking room. That's really it comes down to. Pace for the room. They want to go on a Coke bender with Ethan Ralph, have him steal with their laptop, and then get arrested by the cops. It's fun for them.

Cocaine, the number one reason ugly guys can get laid going back to 1955. You know, there you go. You know what happened? You were emotionally cheating on me behind my back. You fell for some basic-ass game, got used shit on and abused. You don't want me. You want attention, but I'm your insurance policy. My God, this is three fucking pages of this.

Okay. I put my own feelings on hold twice in lieu of what's best for you. put my own needs on the shelf. My audience is the problem. They said, mean things about you. You did horrible things to me multiple times, but you can't forgive them. I guess he's saying like his audience scared her away and he's saying, well, hey, man, you just got to roll with it.

And then we can make everything work. I think he's just venting the worst possible way you can. I mean, this is hysterical. I mean, I can't believe he didn't, like, read this and go, this is a bad idea. I mean, you know what you could do is you could take this and you could, you could send it to chat GPT and you go, hey, pretend you're this girl who I was fucking and react, react to this letter. And then just whatever you get back from there, just go, yeah, that's about equal to

what I was expecting to get out of this. If my personality was half as dark as the guys you would rather be blowing in a 4K video, this would be a night wave episode with your picture in the thumbnail and every excruciating detail of your life on display. Well, that's the worst part, Merish, is that's what everyone wants you to do. Your audience wants you to go, fuck ice dancer, put her a fucking picture in the thumbnail and talk shit about her. But instead, you're sending her a breakup letter. I think she goes with Stavros, because Stavros is clearly the most famous of the three. Dude, Sabros is killing it.

Yeah, I know. I've seen him a lot a lot lately. Yeah, he's really funny. That's another problem I have is, man, girls who do not lock in. I knew a girl who was, she's like, yeah, I hung out with Notch. And I'm like, the guy who made Minecraft. Minecraft, yeah. Yeah, she's like, yeah, I was at his mansion. I'm like, and did you suck his dick? She's like, no, I didn't suck his dick.

And I'm like, are you retarded? That man literally has half a billion dollars. If I was a hot chick alone with fucking notch, I'd be like, hey, you want me to suck your dick? I can suck your dick. I'll suck your dick all the fucking time. Lock it down, man. You ever see, you know Stephen Spielberg's wife?

She was the greatest gold digger of all time. Did you ever see the second Indiana Jones? The Temple of Doom? Temple of Doom, yeah. So the girl in that movie became Spielberg's wife. She figured out. When it was screaming the whole time? Yeah.

She figured out, listen, this Indiana Jones money is good. But the Spielberg money, so the whole time in between takes, she's going on with Spielberg. She's like, oh, my God, I'm having so much fun making this movie. should hang out or whatever. And Spielberg was actually like, you're nice, you're fun. I can't date you though, because you're not a Jew. And she said, oh, I'll convert. And she actually converted to get with Spielberg so she could marry Spielberg.

She's a smart broad. Oh, yeah. Spielberg is Spielberg religious? What are you crazy? I didn't know he's religious. Why do you think he tried to make Shai LeBuff into an action star? Because he's like, I got to make the next generation of Jewish leading. Men.

Yeah. What movie did? Like, I don't know. Charlie Buff was Transformers. Yeah, I know he did. Which was produced by Spielberg. I don't know. John Berthal is like a badass and he's Jewish.

I mean, that's a guy right. Yeah. Hollywood. Hollywood nepotism is real, baby. Are you saying, wait, wait, you see the only reason they got the jobs because they're Jews? It's not the only reason. But let's be clear. Bro, they were trying to figure out who should be Indiana.

Jones' kid and you're like, I don't know, probably like a square-jod fucking Caucasian. And they're like, no, let's get Shia LeBuff. Shottley LaBuff could be Indian Jones kid. And you're like, the little Jewish kid from even Stevens? No, not at all. And they're like, no, it'll be fine. Everything will be fine. Isn't Harrison Ford's half Jewish, isn't he?

I think he is probably half Jewish. Yeah, I think he's half Jewish. And also they made the new Star Wars. People were giving me shit about this because they didn't realize I was talking about the new Han Solo, the one who was in that solo movie. Yeah. And that movie wouldn't bad. but it wasn't good either.

Okay, but again, the guy who played Han Solo, they're like, oh, where'd you find this kid? Where'd you find him? It's like, oh, Steven Spielberg met him at his daughter's bat mitzvah or whatever the fuck. It was just like some kid at the thing. He said, yeah, you're a good-looking kid. You want to be Han Solo?

Yeah, but isn't that the way it goes to everybody, though? And that's just that social circle. I got no problem with it. Everybody I know. For the fire department in New York has an Irish list name. They walked through the fire and the flame and the, you know, the camps, and then you come out the other side

and you get to make movies forever. I got no problem with that. All right. Just wish they'd pick you for one. Now I'm trying to see. Is this the end of it, or is there more of this letter here? Because he says,

I have a cranky chick. I say goodbye to every night. She isn't that into me. Let's, oh, wait, this is pages one through three out of, Jesus Christ, this is six pages long? I thought it was three pages. Okay, we got to speed run the rest of this fucking thing. Maybe you shouldn't do it. We'll speed, roll, speed run, we'll speed run, we'll speed run. Hold on. Let's see. Do you have self-awareness on the internet? How did you write six pages of this?

I love you. Genuinely, I actually want the best for you. Oh, Mersh, please stop. Yeah, see, I don't even love, I, you must love her more than I love my wife because I don't, I would never do this in a million years. I would never write a dude, you can't go from like, how could you, you're a fucking horace left with Ethan Ralph, but also I love you. So he is trying to get her back. Sure. You're capable of warmth of times, but you're not a warm person. Uh, I'm not going to abuse you and shit on you. As someone whose own childhood shit fucked them up, I have my own stuff to deal with. It made me an insecure F slur with abandonment issues. It made you vindictive. Oh my God. This is like, yeah. Oh, they could go to therapy together. Yeah. I know. I'm done chasing you. I'm done as well, you're not done chasing her, though. That's the problem. You're saying I'm done chasing you. He doesn't want to come off like a total cuck to this broad.

He wants to come off top, but he wants her back too. But he can't be honest and just say that, you know, which is a much better move. I want you back. I don't care what you did. You want her back? You want her back? Let's start over. I don't care what you did.

I love you. And that's it. And then work from there. But, you know, he's got to. Yeah. Yeah. But if I do that, then I can't tell her how mad I am because I'm really mad. you know look i get it from his point of view he's going i'm being completely logical here is that

i've been nothing but nice to this girl and i've showered her with affection and presence and she goes and she sleeps around with whatever all these other guys to fuck with me and go behind my back and you go uh yeah because that's the power that's power for her let's be clear sure is like she doesn't have any real power over you the only power she has over you you know it's a one-sided you want a where you're in the relationship, you would be above her because she's some random chick. You're technically like a hot shot internet podcaster. You make money. She's just running around, sleeping with everybody.

You have the power in that dynamic. The power she has is, well, I can just go fuck Ethan Ralph and that would really piss you off. I think what Mersk can wrap his head around is like, that's power for her over you. And you're showing her. The only way that you could salvage this is if you went, yeah, you can fuck Ethan Ralph. care baby you crazy you also know relationship that clearly like look when women are sleeping with two three different guys they're not they don't want a relationship you know and guys don't realize I think he's assuming that's what she wants no she doesn't she wants to want someone she wants

around fucking and cause havoc that's what she wants to do let her do it you know and and easily how old is she she she's she's like she's in her 20s or something earlierly again I think she's like she's like 27 maybe yeah I could be wrong if anybody yeah she said she's doing this when he's 27 when you want a relationship with somebody like that. She's still a party girl, you dip shit. You know, God, go to a library. Pick up a nice girl. You know, I mean, geez.

Yeah, I mean, you got a manic pixie dream slut who's around fucking everybody in town. Yeah. And there's only one, the only possible way to make that work is you go, you go be crazy, crazy lady. Go fuck Ethan Ralph. Go fuck whoever. I don't care. And if you decide you want to come back to me, that's fine.

But you're going into the, you're sleeping with them to hurt me. And it's like, well, just don't. don't let it hurt you. Just be like, yeah, you fucked Ethan Ralph. I don't like that guy. I don't know why you would have sex with him. And, but letting her know that it's getting to you just means she's going to fuck more guys to fuck with you. Yeah. I, you know, I should make fun. I did this when I was in my twenties too. I made it, I didn't do a video. I didn't do a letter. I did a recording in order to do it. Yeah. And I listened to it back and was so humiliated that I literally like, it was

an old one of those press to two tapes and I literally got like a pocket knife and just said, I'm going to have to figure out. Oh, you had like an audio recording. like a cassette? Yeah. So what I did, what I did is I attacked the girl's boyfriend, my own best friend. It's funny, like a best friend, and I ended up getting restraining order and a bunch of trouble, and I almost wasn't allowed to join the military. Oh, shit.

Well, yeah, okay. You want to know side note to that? Real quick side note. Yeah, yeah. Okay, you're familiar with Red Dead Redemption, too? Of course. Roger Clark used to come to Woodbridge, New Jersey every summer. from Ireland to meet his relative, which is friend.

So he used to come every story and someone was a kid all the way up. Roger Clark was the one that was telling me my friend was going. But who's Roger Clark? Roger Clark is the main character. The voice actor? Yes, the main character. Oh, man, that's fucking crazy. Yeah, and I find it like 20 years later, I find out he's there. Yeah, he tipped me off to say, and yeah, your friend is not your friend.

And then I ended up getting a restraining order over it. So I'm mad at Roger Clark. Well, he's not in the current Red Dead games, right? You can play those, thankfully. No, I'm not mad. I'm joking. I don't care. I'm really,

I don't give a shit. It's funny, because we're in a bar and I was like, what are you going to be doing with your leg? Because we're all, I was 20. He was like, well, I'm going to London to become an actor. I was like, what are you, an F slur? And then he ended up becoming a famous voice.

Yeah, yeah. I played through the whole game, and I didn't realize it was fucking him. It's always interesting when you enjoy a piece of media and then you find out some, or just you experience a piece of media and then find out somebody you know worked on it. Here was a stupid one for me. I have two. One was, I was always like, man, I can never find any cool bands.

And then I finally found this band. And I was like, wow, this is cool. Like, for the first time I've discovered music that I like, you know? Because I'm not like a cool guy, but like, I found a band that I'm like, this band's great. Yeah, yeah. Where are you like, oh, cool? I finally discovered some music I like. Your gatekeeping fucking snob

music fans didn't find it. You did. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, and I'm like this is great. You know, I found it. This is something that is uniquely for me. I don't even think anybody knows about this band. And then I started watching like a couple of their other videos and I looked in the credits of the music video and it said,

directed by your sister. And I went, cock second motherfucker. I could never have anything. Your sister is a big director? I didn't know that. She did like, not like a big director. She worked for a record company. Matador Records, which is a big record company. She would do a lot of like taking songs and making them into like the like lyric videos, like adding cool animation and like putting the lyrics on screen and shit. But she did direct like, you know, she did get them in studio and like direct them and get some like shots of them.

And I'm like, God fucking damn it. The other one was remember the YouTube rewind that everybody hated and they stopped doing YouTube. rewines. Oh, that's so funny. The one with Will Smith. Yeah, I do. The one where Will Smith shows up, okay, and everybody made fun of it. And then one day, I had this kid in high school I went to high school with. And he was a rich kid and he wanted to be a director or whatever. And he's like, I'm going to go to L.A. I'm going to be a big time director. And I remember he was like a popular kid. He was attractive. I was like, yeah, I'll probably make it. Fuck that guy. And I said, I wonder what that guy's been up to, man. Did he make it in L.A.?

And I looked up his IMDB and it said, directed that YouTube rewind, everybody fucking hated. And I went, ah, fuck you, fuck you. Because he used to always lowered it. I'm like, dude, because we were like the shitty fucking public access kids with like fucking VHS cameras. And his dad would buy him all the like fucking high end DV cameras. He'd be like, I'm just really into film and like, you know, real shit. I don't know if he was Jewish. Based on most of the kids who went to that high school, he probably was.

Yeah. Well, you know, I got one. I had a famous friend. I was very close to him. loop right down the street with him. I would say super famous, but he directed the, it's called Backpages about Hustler Magazine. He directed that movie.

His name is Michael Deerbrook, and he did a lot of sets for like Boardwalk Empire. He's like the guy they go to him in Hollywood when I guess they get sets and what have you. So I found that movie. I realized he was involved in it and then we actually got reconnected. You know, so that was. That's awesome. Yeah. Yeah, it's always weird to like fucking little webs we weave.

And speaking of webs we weave, here's a, Mersh's final take. Maybe someday at a different time and a different place will run into each other. Ooh, like a cloud atlas. Maybe you guys will fuck different people across time and space until you find each other again. Like winning the powerball, it's a nice thing I'll use as an emotional crutch and daydream about when I don't want to think about reality. Mersh, I think you could find a girl to fuck. I don't think ice dancer is that big a deal.

I'll always look back fondly at that little period when I didn't need cheap gas station. hills to feel like the entire world was warm, beautiful, and belonged to me. You were mine once for a time. Okay, this is serial killer shit. Or at least there was a time you were much better at or willing to pretend for me. And that was nice. Thank you for, am I on the right fucking thing? Oh, I'm not even on the right one.

Here we go. And that was nice. Thank you for some of the greatest months I've ever experienced. I still visit that place in my dreams sometimes. I will always love you. I always love you, Brixton, forever years, Mersh. You're an idiot. It's a matter with you.

I don't think you should send, I don't think you should send love letters to girls, especially not breakup letters. Any letters? At this point, we live in a society where you should have nothing committed to text or recording. Say something to somebody's face and pray that they're not wearing metaglasses. He didn't, like, he's bad with women.

You can tell. He can tell him things. He's really bad with women. He doesn't, it took me until I was like 30 to really get chicks. And you have to stop looking at, like, what do guys want? He wants to say, she has, a pair of tits, she's a beautiful chick, maybe she's fun, and that's it. It's real simple. Women don't look at men the same way men look at women.

And a lot of guys think that, right? They were like, because I'm sure he would have loved to have a brand new switch. Most women don't want to fucking switch. You know, so he's like, I was looking at the perspective. And like, you know, like, well, if I was better looking, I'd get more chip. No, if you had more money, you know, if you had, if you have, I don't even think Merr's a bad looking guy. See, that's the weird thing. Yeah, but you could be bad. You could be, you could be, I, oh God, I knew a guy back home. Like, you could be bad with women and really

good looking and even rich, but you don't, because you don't, you don't look from their perspective. You know, you don't get chicks, you know. Yeah, I'm trying to find. I mean, I know Mersh, Mersh, unfortunately does that thing where he wears sunglasses all the fucking time. It's hard to tell if he's actually a good looking guy or not. Yeah, it probably doesn't matter. But it's like. I got bad. I'm sure you get a shit. Dude, you look like a normal fucking guy immersed.

What is your fun? You think, okay, look at me. Let's put it this way. I'm a big fat piece of fucking shit. Yeah, so am I. Yeah, and I get girls. Look, I'm not saying I get them all the fucking time, but I've had ladies come over my house and I finger blast them and then they never call me again.

It's whatever. Let me should do that. It was too good. How old are you, for Christ? I finger blast it. Oh, man, but I'm so good. from the fucking arcade games and shit. Dude, I am.

I am. I'm the double tap. You do the double tap. I'm the end. I'm the end. I'm the one button, one button. Mersh, you're a fun, you're a normal looking guy. Okay.

Yeah, he's not a bad. I wouldn't go as far as he's good looking guy. Yeah. Okay, here's the other problem is like a lot of guys become like obsessed with this idea that they're uniquely ugly or they uniquely have a small penis or they, you know, most people on this planet are fucking disgusting. Women included. Okay. So I don't know what you what you're hoping for. But here's the thing.

It doesn't even matter. It's like he's so out to lunch when it comes to women. Women want a guy that appears confident. They don't actually have to be. So you can fake the fuck. You could fake so much shit in front of women. Right. Yeah.

Like I used to tell you like some of these love phones and these guys are like in college used to come come with me like how do I pick up chicks and how do they? Okay. Never tell them about your fucking gay hobbies like right behind me. Don't talk about that ever. Right. Don't ask a lot of fucking questions and tell them what you're planning on doing, especially in college.

The best thing about college is you can say anything on pre-med. You know, it doesn't matter. So you're giving them something to kind of work with. It's easy. Women don't look at men like men look at women. And that's what you've got to kind of figure out. Once you figure that out and it's just like confidence, you realize like, oh, that's where all those player guys are getting chicks.

It's really just 100%. And that's the worst part about these letters. that you go, yeah, Merge, it's just confidence. Like, that's it. It's like, everything I read in this letter is, it's like, you know, I have all these hangups and I have all this blah, blah, blah. Save that for after you're married and then you want to cry and you want to get counseling. You don't even want to do it then.

Even when you're married. You want, like, the only time that should come out is when you're at your absolute fucking lowless. And hopefully you married a girl that gives a fuck, right? Yeah. But you don't even want to overwhelm your wife with that shit. A lot of guys who, well, I could just like, you know what European girls say about American guys? Is there, oh, they're in therapy. They're constantly unloading.

because they've been taught. That's what girls want. Girls don't want it. They tell you they want to hear their shit, your shit and your deepest darkest. And as soon as you say it, right, it's a complete turnoff. It's a complete, when a girl, when a girl tells you, a woman tells you she wants your deepest darkest secrets, she's a liar. Don't do it. Well, the other thing to consider is, okay, you're talking about, hey, you know, I grew up in a damaged household or whatever and I'm not that confident about my body.

imagine being a girl and you're like, yeah, well, my uncle raped me 15 times before I was 12 and also I've never felt good about my body and everywhere I go. It's like, your problems as a guy are never going to stack up to being the average woman. I mean, I hate to say it. I'm not trying to be a feminist about it, but it's just like, oh, it was really hard growing up. It was really hard growing up. Did you have a fucking math teacher who came over and grinded his dick all over your desk every time you walked in on a hot summer day?

it's like your problems as a guy you got to understand you got it pretty good as a guy especially as a white guy I don't want to get too deep into the wokenness of it but everything whenever a guy complains to me he goes oh you know I just can't get a script made in Hollywood and like all these projects are falling apart and I'm like you're not in Africa you don't have AIDS you're a white guy living in America with health care like you're going to be fine it's going to be fine so all just like pouring your heart out to women they go yeah you're being you are being a cuck Well, here's another thing from their perspective. Let's say they have, I don't think that many women have that many fucking problems.

But anyway, let's assume they do. They're looking for somebody who seems to have it together. So fake it. Act like you have it together. That's like nothing bothers. That's also the other problem that men are running into is like women are looking to guys for like stability. It's like I want you to like have your shit kind of together. I want you to listen to my bullshit.

I don't want to listen to your bullshit because one of us has to be stable. So if you date one of these unstable broads, yeah, that means you have to be the stable one. Or vice versa. One of the girls, got to be the tough chick, one of the two. That's the weird problem of, that's the challenge of being a man. I think it's the challenge. It's the reason a lot of guys just go, ah, fuck it, I'm just going to be trans because I can't handle it. I think a lot of people, I think the transgender thing and the like, the numbers on it,

the number of people are deciding to be women, is it's guys who can't deal with the fact that it's like, yeah, as much as it sucks, like you do have. have to be the one to nut up and be like, I'm going to handle shit. You know, I'm going to not wallow in my misery. I'm not going to think shitty about myself. I'm just going to get up every day and do something. And I think a lot of guys can't handle that. They go, man, I wish I could just be a lady. And then I could just fucking complain all the time, which is why the trans people complain all the fucking time.

Because they got nothing better to fight. Now they are really women. So I think that, Mersh, you got to get, I don't want to say you got to get therapy, because I don't even think you need therapy. You just need to run some fucking equations in your head. And you got to go, I'm a white guy in America who makes money talking shit on the internet. It's not that bad. I'm not 800 pounds.

I'm not veto. I'm not a big fat sack of shit. I could probably get a girl. Like, yeah, okay, you have some fucking childhood trauma. We all have childhood trauma. But again, you didn't have to worry about fucking being a chai boy to a bunch of Afghan warlords who are going to pound your fucking ass because you'd bring the chai in on time. You have white guy problems. He needs.

he needs he needs a guy that he admires that's kind of like can't be our fat asses right because it's probably kind of funny but by the way that jerk off in the chat I just want to mention I've been married like forever so I'm fine I'm allowed to get fat so get fucked Vito that's a guy you're talking about you know I'm working on it I'm working on it I yeah good luck but I know you need a guy that you admire to tell you to stop being a pussy I really think it's it yeah that's it 100% stop being a pussy Don't fucking do that. Go get chicks. Go do this. And you got to be a little bit of an asshole when it comes to women. I mean, look, I can identify that like it sucks when you're like, man, this girl's really cool.

And I would love to hang out with her all the time and fuck her all the time. But at a certain point, you've got to go, she's crazy. She's fucking all my enemies. I'm just going to get over it and move on. And there's no problem with that. And I guess he did do that. But the problem is he did it with a six-page breakup letter that he should have sent to himself and then just quietly moved along. Mersh, I'm hoping this is the end of the ice dancer saga. You were stretching it out. You are making it worse. I don't.

I hope you do it again. Well, just do what I told Frogtony to do. Anytime someone brings it up, you go, yeah, she was a crazy whore. What are you going to do? That's it. That's the only thing you have to say. That's your stock answer. She was a crazy whore.

What are you going to do? And that's how to handle it. Tommy, you got a problem for me here? Here's my problem. I don't know. Which one should go to the second one of the first one. What do you think? Whatever feels right, man.

Spin me a yarn. The second one is more in line with what you're talking about. Well, we just did. We just did a sex one. So save, save that one. Okay. All right. Yeah.

Here's, here's the biggest problem in the universe. And I know a lot of guys are going to have, like, it is impossible to look masculine with a fucking cat. These guys that cuddle these guys, like you, like, like, like, like, I'm not trying to look masculine. I know.

It's not possible. Yeah, we got these fucking cats running their fucking round and people are... I love those guys. I love them. You just look gay. I mean, you just look gay. And I think, like, I don't mind that you have a cat. I don't even know either you love your cat,

but you really shouldn't express it to the public because there's just no way to do it, like, like, not look like a homosexual or like, like... And not looking like... And I think women look down at it, too. I think women are like, oh, yeah. Oh, I love my cat. And they see you cuddle in their cat.

I'm like, oh, man, that's kind of gay. You might have... You might have a point. It might be hurting me. But look, look at how happy this. This couldn't be a gay guy. That's a winner. That's a man's man's man.

Yes. That's a man's man. Get that guy a German Shepherd. He looks completely different. I know. God. Oh, Jesus Christ. But what can you do?

Okay. Look, I love my cats. I can't help it. And I know it's gay. It looks gay. I'm a fucking. I treat them like they're my little, I'm not going to lie, I am very womanly when I'm around my cats. I go, who's my little, who's my little, who's my little, but I don't, I don't show it.

You know, you just, you can't, you're right. You have to keep that private. I think that's the point, okay? Yeah. You can be like that with your cats. But the second you start uploading these videos where you're like, look at me at my little poofy poof. And it's like, it's just, it's a little gay. It's a little.

Yeah. Do you sleep with your cats? I do sleep with my cats. They jump into the bed with me. Oh, I know who that guy is. Is this the guy with the guy with the side of the cat that makes a lot of fucking Yeah, yeah, I was always going, where's my murvee move? Yeah, and I watch all these videos and I go, all right.

Yeah, he's a fun guy, but he's already in a relationship. So he's set. He's in Hollywood, too, I think. He's an actor. Yeah, he is. He's in L.A. And he's got the girlfriend. And then they play with the cats.

His cat got more famous than he did. did so it's like Merv and the Kai as the YouTube channel. That's what I was bro. He's making fucking stacks because every time I go to his video he's got he's got some new fucking cat toy that they've sent him to promote or whatever. Yeah. I know. What about this? Okay, what about this look? What about this? Could this is this masculine? Let's take a look at this here. Uh, no here I'm gonna zoom out. No, no, no, no, hold on, hold on, hold on. How do I zoom out here? There you go. He's going, yes. Me and my, Me and my child.

Hello. Does his wife make him do that? I don't know. Okay. Cat doesn't want to be there, too. He wants to fucking big. Well, what's Matt's calling about dogs? Now dogs are gay.

They got a bunch of gay dog breeds now. Yeah, you can't. You should get little dogs. Little dogs are for women. Yeah. I see a lot of guys. What about the, what is the dog that everybody wants? The, the Shiba, the Shiba Inu, the little Japanese dog?

All these jackass YouTubers want that stupid dog. Yeah. The one that doge, right? The doge dog. Well, what is it? It is weird that cats have a naturally feminine energy. Even, even boy cats are, uh, they're worse. They're, they're pussy's. They're actually worse. Yeah. Yeah, they're worse. Because they don't ask, well, okay, I'll give it to the male cats is for some reason you, uh, you neuter a dog. Dog still is kind of like a dog, you know, he's still kind of like a happy boy.

I think what you neuter the male, because a wild male cat. Still has like kind of a masculine energy. If you ever run into like a street cat, he's like fighting, he's fucking, he's hissing. You know, he's just jerking his wad on everything, which is the reason you have to get your cats neutered because the fucking males just spay. Once you neuter a male cat, they're just, they're nothing. They're just women at that point. I don't know.

Like, male cats are like, they're biggest assholes. I mean, I always get female cats because they're friendly. They follow you around. Oh, absolutely. Dude, female cats are infinitely better than male kids. Yeah, male cats. are just like they're the divas that that that we every everything you hate about cats everything like the pussy thing the whole mind it just yeah the male cat i can't stand them be honest with you

and i have a female cat because she's friendly and she's like a friend a male cat's just like feed me and fuck off you know you never see like a rapper with a cat you know you never see like you know it's always a bunch of they're like yeah my dog you're my big old dog you never seen a rapper be like this mittens mitten's a real fucking filine Men's don't fuck around. That's how you know cats are gay is that no black people have them. And the black people that have them are like the gay black guys. Like here I got a picture.

Let's take a look. I could do a whole show about black people cats. Yeah. Yeah. You never see, if you see a black guy with a cat, it's this guy. Okay. Where he's got like kind of a lady's haircut. He's not looking.

He's not like from the streets. I love no. You know? I'm trying to see if I could find any tough black guys with cats. He might be from the streets, but it was probably rough growing up. You know what I mean? You ever see that black guy that gets picked on by all the other black guys? This is a black guy.

He's got a nice little. Jesus Christ. He looks like he's getting ready for his street fighter tournament right after this. Yeah, he's ready to go. There you go. Wow, you really can't find there are no cool looking black guys. Mike Tyson's Tiger. Somebody in the tag.

Mike Tyson got a tiger. Mike Tyson went to the next level. He said, I want to. a cat, but if I'm going to get a cat, it's going to be a fucking tiger. Yeah. That's badass. That was pretty bad. Dude, Mike would like, Mike, I think, I was trying to remember, like, didn't somebody ask me, like, what happened to those tigers? Like, they just started like trying to kill me because the fucking tigers, he's like, I had to give me to a zoo. He's like, I don't know. Like, they were fun at first, but Jesus Christ.

Yeah, I know. Yeah. Trying to kill me. Of course. A tiger went. It's the ultimate. It's the ultimate conundrum, man, because cats, look, I'm going to say this. Obviously, I have a shit ton of attacks. So plasmosis, my cats make me, I think about my cats all the time. I'm like, you guys, okay, everything good? What can I do for you? You eat and right? I mean, okay, the problem I have is that I got a male cat.

And I've talked about this before. The male cats don't drink enough water. I have to give them this special cat food. And I have to make sure it's enough of it to not die. Because a lot of male cat breeds, they just, the thing that kills cats, their kidneys just shut down. And part of the reason their kidneys shut down is that they just don't care about water. You're like, will you drink water like every other?

animal on the fucking planet to live and they're like ah i don't want that i don't give a shit about that so like one time i found my cat and he was he was meowing all night and i'm like you okay buddy he's like meh-mer-mur-muh i'm like oh well if you're still feeling bad in the morning we'll take you to the vet you know and then i wake him the morning i'm like well you're not meowing anymore you must be feeling better huh buddy and i go to pet him and then i look at my hand and it's covered in blood and i go ah that's not good i don't think that's supposed to come out of cats and my cat was just lying in a pool of its own blood. And I'm like, this is an emergency. We gotta go. But it turned out. Okay, luckily, he was just pissing a shit ton of blood. So he didn't have like an open wound. He just pissed everywhere and his urine had a bunch of blood in it. And he said, ah, I'm just gonna fall asleep in a pile of blood. And I'm like, yeah, he's still alive. I took him to, dude, it was crazy. I took him to the vet. And I'm like, I don't know what's wrong. And the doctor's like, yeah, he can't pee. He's not drinking enough water. And then the Chinese vet in there. And he's like, he wants to see something cool? You'll watch this. And then he like, press is on the cat. And then he like, press is on the cat. And he's like, he's on me cool. He'll watch this. And then he. And then he presses on the cat is on the cat. And then belly and then like just the cat out of the cat's dick just a fucking spray of blood

shooting out and I'm like ah Jesus Christ is that a sign of cancer oh my God no it's like his kidneys shutting down and he needs to they need to drink more water as you says it needs to be running water yeah well I have the fountain going because they don't like they don't like still water you got to have like a constantly going fountain but on top of that I have to give him this special cat food that has a bunch of shit in it that you know just stimulates urine production, I think has extra moisture in it. It's a, it's a fucking nightmare. Should I get one of those bowls that move?

Because I've been hearing that, she doesn't drink water. But the doctor told me, as long as they're feeding wet meals, they don't need much. They're desert animals. I would just get one just for the sake of it, man. If they drink, the one thing that'll keep your cattle live longer is if you can just convince them to drink more water. So anything you can do. Any water at all. Yeah.

Dude, try getting one of those fountains. They're pretty cheap. Get them on Amazon. And, uh, but you're lucky. it's a girl cat girl cats are not as stupid for it's a big problem with guy cats girl cats is not as big a problem she doesn't know she only we they told us they she said they said switch to the only way she's going to get water is eat so there's a lot of water inside the wet you can also dump a little water on top of their food so it's kind of like a gravy you know so when you

put out the food bowl for them just splash some water on top and then it's a little extra moisture this is this is a very gay conversation we I know this is so gay we've turned into women talking about this. How do I keep my little kitty alive? I love my little cat. I love my little friend. I hate when people overreact. I hate when people react when their pets died. It always really irritates me. I don't know what. Isn't that terrible? You hate that? I'm going to be a mess. I'm going to be a mess. Yeah, but you're going to go online. You're going to go online and cry in front everybody. Well, one of my cats went missing and it somehow became a recurring bit on this show. How did that happen? Oh, this guy. This guy, okay, but he's got like,

He almost has like, looks like a fucking panther. Maybe this is the one guy who found a tough cat. The cat was suffered him. And look, this is my feline son, Shadow Shabazz Sebastian Johnson. All right. Black people love cats too on Facebook. If your cat's last name is Johnson, we might do okay. Really black people love cats too?

Yeah. I am totally sub. I got to get in there. Look, cats are great, but you have to accept that you're masculine. energy. It's never going to be as much. You can't take your cat to the park to try and pick up girls. No. You can't post a picture on Facebook like, chill with my kitties. Like you don't put that on your bumble or whatever the fuck they're using now on your Tinder. You're going to keep your cat out of it. You know, you could do. If you want to the Savannah cats, you want to get

to walk them. That might get a chick. Dude, like the, the car calls I've seen people have like fucking but I don't want to deal with like these like kind of jungle looking cats there's there's spooky man dude I saw a video of somebody who had like a or what they called car call is that what it's called I saw a carckel that's not that's a purebred fucking wild animal I'm talking about like I saw a video somebody who had a pet one of these fucking things they hiss a lot yeah they just hiss all the time like when they're happy they hiss I'm like Jesus Christ but here's the thing here's about a caracol all right It's a desert animal that doesn't belong in your fucking house.

Yeah. You know, it's not really a pet, you know. But I mean, if you're going to get one, get a serval. They're way friendlier and they don't as much. Can you just get a servile? I never know which ones are like actual birds you can get. Depends in the state. Certain state.

Not here. You can't even get Savannah cats in their half over here. You get in trouble. I like, honestly, so all my cats are part Siamese. Siamese cats are like really intelligent. I love. They're good time. I had one.

You can talk to, like, dude, my cat is like, is funny. I know I sound insane, but like, for the longest time, she'd be, like, crying, and I would just go, eh, meh, mah, and she learned to say, mah. So I go to pet her, and she's like, meh, nah. I believe you. I'm like, I have a shy of these cats. They're very shrill. They're very shrill. Yeah, well, her brother that went missing.

I'm like, hey, I loved that cat, but at least now I get a little more fucking sleep. That guy would not shut the fuck up. All right. So, trying to be masculine with a cat. You can't do it. It's not possible. Here's my problem, Tommy. So I have a, you ever try to buy stuff?

Is this something you've experienced? Purchase items? And where do you go to buy stuff? You buy them on Amazon. Right? Nowadays, yeah. So, the other day. And this has happened multiple times.

This happened yesterday, and it really got me thinking to what the fuck is going on? I got a tablet. I got a Samsung tablet. I said, you know what would be nice if I had a little keyboard for the Samsung tablet? Just a little thing I could type on. It's a slightly older Samsung tablet. I'm like, there must be a couple options out there. What's the best keyboard for this little Samsung tablet?

And I look at one and I go, that one looks pretty good. And the name of the manufacturer is like, Zintao! Yeah. Okay, I guess I could get a Zingtow. I'm like, let me look at the next one. And it's like, Dongwei. And I'm like, yep. I could get a Dongwei, I guess.

And I'm just looking through all of them trying. I'm like, well, which one's the good one? It's like, you get gudao, jing jang, lita. And I'm like, okay, these are all the, they're all the same. They're all the fucking same thing. Sure, sure. Okay. So my problem is everything on Amazon is the fucking same.

And I try to investigate what's going on? What is the different? Okay, they'll have like slight variations. Like one will have glowing red fucking buttons instead of the other one. Or I was trying to get like a pillow, like one of those pillows. You can like, you know, be in bed reading a book or whatever. And it's like, well, this one, the headrest is shaped like this. And this one, the headrest is shaped like this. But it's basically the same fucking pillow. And you try to check the reviews. And all the reviews say, very good. Me Love Long Time. His number one pillow is good. And I go, that's a fake fucking review from the Chinese people. So I can't use that to figure out what I want. I don't. don't know how to shop for this shit. So I tried to figure it out. I'm like, what's going on? Are these all the exact same thing? And the answer is, yeah, probably. So here's how it goes. Chinese manufacturing clusters around cities, like Shenzhen, Dongguan, Zio, and Guangzhou. And what has happened with Amazon is used to make a product. And what would you do with the product, Tommy? You would put it in your warehouse. Yes, that was a call, right? Warehouse. Yes. You had a company and you had to buy storage space and you would put the product in your storage space

and you would pay rent on that warehouse and drive forklifts around it and sell comic books like a certain black man I know okay but Amazon changed that because now Amazon has FBA fulfillment by Amazon starting in 2006 where sellers you no longer had to have your own inventory Amazon will be your warehouse just send them all your Chinese garbage, they will put it in a fucking one of their lots, and when you sell an item, it goes out to the customer. That's why, like, because I have an ice machine, and it's the same fucking one, but it's had three different, four different names on the actual ice machine.

So that's why it's like that. Okay. Well, here's what actually, okay, here's where it actually went horrifically wrong, is in 2015, a man named Greg Mercer created a program. This is the first time I had heard of this called Jungle Scout. Have you heard of Jungle Scout? I have not heard of Jungle Scout. Jungle Scout is ruining the world, Tommy.

So this guy figured out that, hey, there's all these Chinese warehouses that'll make you anything you want. And you can just find something that's already being sold and making money and just hijack half those sales by making the exact same thing that's already being made with a different name. So he created this fucking software that goes through Amazon, scans products, somehow gets access to like, you know, somehow figures out how much it's selling. Like what is the sell through rate? It looks at like, oh, it has this many verified sales in the back end. It has this many reviews. And then just, dude, okay, I went shit. I should have done this back in 2015.

Then you get a list. And it goes, hey, this fucking milk frother, you know, this little fucking thing, you press a button and it spins around. Right now, there's only two. of them on Amazon and they're selling 100,000 units a month. So if you were the third guy selling these, then the units would be divided between three guys and you'd get a cut of that pie. In 2019, Jungle Scout then introduced the supplier database, which not only shows you the products that are selling, but uses, this is fucking insidious, it uses fucking point

of sale import records. So anytime something comes over on a boat, there's got to be like a fuck. fucking docket that says this much came from this factory at this time. So it Croft references all this day to be like, not only are you going to make a milk frotherer, but I'm going to tell you the exact company that made this one using fucking bill of sale and import records. So you can just contact them directly and be like, hey, I noticed you guys make Samsung keyboards. Can you make one that's black says dick sucker on it and get a thousand of them to me so I can

lock them in an Amazon warehouse? And you can just do that from your fucking house as a guy. You don't have to do any research. You don't need to know how to make products. That's the crazy thing. It's not like you know how to make a great hair dryer. You just identify a good hair dryer that already exists. Put your name on it.

And change the color and put your name on it. Yeah. Good. And then you're in Amazon sell. It's like, I remember thinking like when I was selling, just started selling T-shirts from my YouTube channel, I'm like, wow, I'm a real t-shirt salesman now. But all I did was make some somebody else make the t-shirt and I just took credit for it.

Good. I'm glad to do with the bigger items now. Nice. Well, dude, this is what's, uh, this is what's scaring. And I think this is part of why Trump started doing like the tariffs and shit. Yeah. It's a lot of bigger companies are realizing, hey, what we did is no longer gate kept. What, okay, back of the day, if you wanted to be a sneaker company, that would be hard. It would be hard to manufacture sneakers. You would need to figure out distribution. logistics, who's going to make the sneakers, who's going to ship the sneakers, where are you going to put the sneakers?

A big one. You would have had to have a warehouse. Then you would have had to ship the sneakers to the customer. You would need sales, whatever else. Now there's companies that do that for you. Yes. You don't have to do fucking anything other than go, I want to make sneakers, and I think the sneakers should be red.

And there's a fucking program that'll tell you which company is making all the red sneakers, and you can just go to them and be like, yeah, make me like some red ones. and we're going to call them shit, but dude, AI is going to make this infinitely worse because then you're going to, you can make a company today. You could go, uh, yeah, I don't know, I want to make a sneaker company called fucking, uh, poop knockers. Give me 800 logos and a corporate web page. Like we're going to, we're going to have, I don't know where it's going to stop, but you're seeing Nike stocks at like nothing because everybody in their brother opened a seeker store. Uh, and I can't get a Samsung keyboard because I don't know which one. Now,

paralyzed with choice, even though I know they're all the same. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You take any one of them. Take the cheapest one. What's the matter with you? Well, that's what I'm saying. But now I'm like, worried that there is one. But now I don't know if there is a good one.

You spent the last fucking 20 minutes telling me, like, it doesn't matter. You know the answer. You know the answer to this. But I keep hoping, I'm like, maybe there's one that's made in America that's like halfway decent. Ah, it's all fucking shit. Probably made some more. I know. It's all dog shit on there. Nothing is good anymore.

In a way, you know, you know, I, you know, so that's what I, that's what I started thinking when the tariffs started showing up, all these tariffs on import shit. I think that was part of the reason is they're like, China's eating our lunch. China's making fucking everything. The problem is like, how can you, how can you set up a bunch of sneaker factories in America? Americans are lazy. We're not going to do it. So I guess you just tax the shit out of the Chinese. I suppose. Well, it's kind of a pain in the ass because they figured out of it in Germany and they're starting to can't even just blame Trump. They hit Ali Express because I mean, really cool cheap shit from Ali Express, but they just put a tax on that. So you have to buy.

Oh, really? So now you're getting railed by that too? Because the German producers are, you know, they can't produce everything cheap because over here because this is, let me tell you something, this is an employee country, not an employer country. So everything's expensive. And then, you know, Ali Express flying away in Amazon or something, is that finding a way around it. But Amazon was able to avoid the tax, even though they do the same shit. They're just not as obnoxious about it. But All the Express in TAMU, they got a hit with it.

And then you got to wait for days. Now, when I buy stuff, it's duty-free Saturday, right? And then you don't have to pay the tax. Oh, really? They have sales holidays to get around. I actually, I actually bought this. I wonder if you be completely. I got like one of my metal posters.

You recognize that? You know, the back to the future sports all, man? Come on. Yeah, I know my bag of the future, baby. There you go. So I got that duty-free. And I got this duty-free, too. See, I guess the thing now is, like, you just have to accept you're being ripped off.

So, like, I'm going to have to buy this keyboard and I'm going to have to go, man, this is like a piece of shit that is an iteration on an iteration on an iteration. And all the reviews are fake. And I know the second shows up, it's probably not going to work that well. And I just got to go along with it for some reason because there is no alternative. This is just the future of commerce now. you solve your way like it's all the same shit buy the cheapest one for some reason they're selling cheaper yeah yeah that's it that's it but like back of the day it wasn't like that back of the day you were like okay here's the problem is when you grew there was a time in this country

when you were rewarded for being a fucking smart shopper and researching and being like oh i don't want that kid i don't want that tv that tv doesn't have fucking you know the all the channels or whatever the fuck okay bad example i want to you know that very that vacuum sucks. I bought the good vacuum because I researched. I used to always be like that because, you know, you're buying like PCs and they have all those websites now that compares which PC is going to be faster and you're going to pick out the right parts. That shit always drove me nuts because I'm like, I'm going to buy the wrong hard drive and my computer's going to suck and it's never going to work. And now I try to apply that mentality to everything and

you can't. You know what drives me nuts is when I was like a kid, people talking about A-track's being great. Why don't they make them anymore? And that's what you sound like right now. Betta cam was better than VHS. It wasn't really. HDV. Beta was actually a better quality than VHS, but you know what VHS one. You couldn't rewind it though, right? Can you not?

No, you couldn't, well, you couldn't rewind a beta tape. You couldn't. I think you had to play all the way through, right? Or something like that. That would be crazy. How would that technology work? I don't know. I never fucking have a beta.

You can't rewind a beta? I don't know. I never had a beta tape. There was something about. out. I forget it was different to VHS. It did have a shitty picture, but I mean, the machines were cheaper and... And... I forgot what it was. And VHS was adopted by the pornography industry. So, and that's been the big thing holding back a lot of technology is everyone's going, why'd the metaverse fail? Why did the metaverse not take off? I'm like, because the first

thing Mark Zuckerberg should have said is, and the second you put on your meta headset, you're going to be fucking and sucking your way across the galaxy. And everybody would have fucking bought one. And then he's like, you get to hang out with fucking avatars and talk about what happened during your day. Or like fucking Apple put out their VR thing. They had the Vision Pro. I said, oh, what can I do that? It's like, you could watch the football game on a big screen. I'm like, go. There's going to be a giant titty ogreus who just like appears in your bed and climbs on your cock. You would sell a million Apple Vision Pros, but they never do it. Well, now that we can all make our own shit, maybe I should be making VR hedge sets.

My problem is everything on Amazon is the same. Thank you. Thank you, America. All right. Bring us home, Tommy. What do you got? Well, here's the thing. And this is, I'm speaking for the German men right now.

The price of prostitutes is too damn high here in Germany. And I don't really understand it because, like, I get why, like, computers are going up. Because the AI thing and it's creating a statement. But pussy's the same, yet pussy seems to be rising the same. I understand why the chips are going up, but pussy stays the same. I don't get it. And it's just kind of weird to me. I don't know anything about this shit.

What I'm doing is I'm funneling this, because I'm a happily married man, through the German guys, you know, and they're saying a Romanian hooker is not a Romanian hooker back in 2005. What is the legality of prostitution in Germany? Is it legal? Is it legal? It's just like 100% legal. Like you can just fuck for money.

Like there's no restriction. I think there is. Yeah, you know, you gotta get tested. You can't like punch her in the face, I assume, but like,

or maybe you can punch her in the face. It is Germany after all. I don't know. You can give you fucking DDT or something. How do you get a prostitute in Germany? What are you got to do? Is there like call services? They have,

um, I have, I don't know. Um, I'll just hold on a second. I'll go by what somebody told me. Yeah, what,

how are your guys hooking up? You can do it through, you can order a chick online nowadays. They got a website for this, prostitution in Germany. They got a false service sex work is widespread and regulated by the German government, which levies taxes on it. America, come on if we need money for the budget. Well, maybe the taxes went up. I don't know.

There's no duty through free Sunday. I guess the in the prostitution world. All the boys are lining up around the blog. Duty free Sunday for me. I'm trying to see if there's any recent, any recent taxes. Let's see. There's been a series of reform. In 2008 financial crisis led to some changes at brothels with reduced prices and free promotions.

2008 was the time to get. Okay, here's the problem. Your buddies were all getting in on the fucking, you know, big short depression crisis. and they were running two-for-one Fridays or whatever. Okay, now that's over. Now the economy's booming. They're not giving discounts. Yeah.

Maybe you think it's just demand? I think it is. I think it's demand. Let's see. For the World Cup in 2006, official speculated up to 40,000 illegal sex workers were running around during the World Cup. And what happened during? That would bring the prices down.

That would go down. That was back in 2006, though. Yeah. You guys got to get another World Cup, bring all the prostitutes. Yeah, the prostitute. The World Cup kills the prostitutes from what I was. Well, also, a big thing that killed a lot of the prostitute business was the COVID-19 pandemic, which caused a marked reduction in the number of visitors to brothels.

But I would think now that COVID's gone, they would be desperate to reclaim some of that business. But maybe a lot. That's what made a lot. That's what created the online thing. Yeah. Yeah. It was it. Otherwise, it went to brothels, but now it's the online thing.

Well, I wonder if are less young people getting into prostitution? Like, maybe it's just there's less supply in the marketplace. I wonder about that because, I don't know, it's kind of this unspoken thing. Like, I lived around the corner from a warehouse before I moved to this place. And nobody talks about it. You know, this is really. It's not a topic. It's weird.

It's like the job. Germans in their World War II. They don't like talking about it. But, um, no, there's this giant war house down the street, right? Um, that be, and no, it, everybody just kind of pretends it's not happening, you know, it's, it's, it's, it's kind of a weird thing and and how open it is, but it's also, are you, are you drinking with your buddies and your buddies are going, I just can't get my dick sucked for a dollar anymore. Nobody talks about it. The only people I knew that talk about it. How are you hearing about it? How are you hearing about it? Um, I, well, whispers, whispers, whispers. I, I, I, I, I,

shenanigans? I was a soldier and that's the only people I knew that ever talked about it. Yeah. They would do it for, it would be like a kind of a right of passage. So when you got here as a soldier, um, can you believe this shit? And everybody would go try it and like laugh about it, you know? Well, here's the thing is that I remember thinking, you know, the price is a strip club is like absurd. We went to, you know, how much is that? I only went to one. It really depends. If you go to like a nice one in Vegas, though, they want like $200, you know, the strip club. for like a private dance or whatever. And you're like, do I get the fuck you after?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, that'll get you. Yeah, that'll get you later. Yeah. Yeah, you can't, dude. It depends on where you're at in the country. Interestingly, I actually had a story where, what do you call it? The, what's his name?

San Francisco's 49ers owner, Jed York, was arrested on suspicion of engaging in prostitution in Ohio. Okay. Okay. And everybody, well, everybody's like really confused, though, because this is the kind of guy. He went, oh, did he get like a high class escort or something? Was he getting like some of the nice call girl? It's like, no, he drove to a trailer park with $160 in his pocket. You go, bitch, you own the 49ers. Get a, I think he want, he wanted the dirty. Yeah, he went to the dirty. Yeah, I think some, some guys are into that. They went. I think they're into fucking like crack

hoars, like women who are desperate, you know? Yeah, well, spend the wealth around and pretty girls would get them. everything right. And I remember going, how does it, how is Germany more advanced in America? Obviously, prostitution should be legal in America. We're always, everybody in America always complains about all the welfare state, all these fucking bitches got to work. And I go, well, I got a job for them. Sucking dick. I'm like, I'm not that. I don't know what I'm doing that. I'm like, well, then you're not complaining about welfare. You can't have it both ways. Here's the problem. Now, I'm a little bit of a so I, but here's the problem I've seen with it. Okay.

Do you think German girls are in these brothels? No. Guess who's in these brothels? Is it like Romanians? What is it? Maybe. Romanians. Every poor country in Europe. Just about every poor country in Europe.

So it's Greece and it's Romania and it's Russian broads and what have you. So what that does is it makes just sex trafficking totally illegal. So all this horrible shit like, like and and then you know the girls are kind of stuck you know i don't know i guess that's probably why we don't want to legalize prostitution in americans then all these women are going to come all these illegal immigrants are going to storm it is it is legal nevada right it is is legal in Nevada. Not Vegas itself though, but like Reno it's it's legal. It's just as yeah. So also I'm pretty sure you can get a prostitute without trying that hard,

but you can get nailed. In principle, I'm for it being legal, but in practice. I mean, I live in this beautiful city and there's whorehouses all over the place. You know? I think I think it might be legal in Boston. Oh God. Yeah. There was like there was like I mean there were brothels in Boston. Maybe it wasn't legal. There was like there was like. There was like, I mean, there were brothels in Boston. Maybe it wasn't legal. like some weird like a rule where it's like as long as it's like inside and like a membership or something. Like technically it's not a problem. Yeah.

I used to play, I used to play cards and like Italian social clubs and stuff and it was, it was gambling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're just hanging out, man. We're just playing cards. Yeah. What is, okay, but like what is the right price for getting your dick sucked? I don't think, I think $100 is the cap.

Like I think if you pay more than $100 to get your dick sucked. I mean, I can't imagine. I can't imagine the broad would do it for less than a hundred bucks because I know I wouldn't. I'd be like, that's gross. You're gross. Like 100 bucks at the least. Yeah. But that's why when I hear about guys, it's like, yeah, you know, I paid like $500 to fuck a prostitute. And I go, that's America. Why? That's that. For what point. Exactly. Yeah. It's like, I think the price goes up in this. Like, we should have a pussy start. market. The price goes up in the States is because it's illegal. Yeah. So they're taking on a risk. You've got to put money away for bail. I also,

look, I've never been with a prostitute because I go, I don't know, man. I hate the idea of that I'm fucking a girl who in the bag of my mind is going, oh, great, another fat guy I got a fuck, you know? Like, they're going to

be thinking that anyway, but I want them thinking that because I've tricked them. You know, if the money's there, it's not fun anymore. It has to be, he was a real smooth talker and he was all funny at the bar. And now I'm sucking his fat guy's dick. God damn it. You need to get out. Get what you want.

Leave me alone. I guess, man. I mean, I guess most of the prostitutes are like, uh, they can probably compartmentalize it. But I'm the kind of guy. Like, I'm so, I'm so here's, here's the thing on me is like, I'm terrified of asking a bartender for like a drink that I'm worried he's going to think is. gay, you know? Like, I like to drink vodka cranberry with a little bit of lime, which is a gay

drink. Let's be real. It's a gay drink. So anytime I go to a bartender, I'm like, he's like, what can I get you? I'm like, I try to be, I'm like, yeah, let me get a vodka cranberry, a little lime in there or something, you know? What do you? You know? Yeah, exactly. I don't want to do it. And that's like, as he's making it, I'm like, looking at his eyes. I'm like, does he think I'm gay? Is he like, think I'm a fucking, he's like, he's looking at me. He's looking at me like, ah, a gay boy getting a gay drink or whatever. You know, and that's what I would be like with a prostitute. The whole time I'm like going to be worried about what she's thinking.

Like, ah, this guy sucks. And he's not even, he's not doing anything I like. I don't fucking know what she's going to be thinking. I couldn't handle the pressure of it. I don't know. I was like, well, here's the thing. But I drank beer and it made me fat. Yeah.

You know, I should have drank white claw, like all the Americans do now, right? Is that the big thing now, white claw, hard seltzer? I guess so. That's what a lot of people like. Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah. I guess now I don't have to worry because all the kids are drinking gay drinks. So I no longer, it's not like 10, 20 years ago when, you know, the bartenders are all fucking

effeminate guys being like, oh, I put a little sprits of lemon on there. And I shaved some cinnamon on top. And I'm like, all right, I guess I don't have to worry about that anymore. We got a new breed of fucking fancy boy bartenders. You still have to worry about that, though. You still have to worry about getting judged for your drink. I suppose. I don't really give a shit at this point. I've been drinking apple wine because there's less calories now. So I guess you're married. You have kids. You don't give a fuck with anybody thinks. I mean, the whole society has become feminized at this point. I will say I have a buddy. He swears by the Asian massage parlors. He says it's the best thing in the world. You go, you get a massage. And then at the end, the Asian girl goes, you want a happy ending? You want a good time? You go, I would like a good time. Thank you. you. And I think I want to do that because with an Asian girl, there's no expectations.

You know, I can have a tiny little dick and she's perfectly normal for an Asian bride. I should be like, oh, that's a very normal penis. Very normal. But if she's doing that, she sees a lot of guys' dick, so probably not. Yeah. Well, but I'm saying like compared to like the Asian guy she's dating and she goes, I have a normal penis. Very good. Very good normal penis.

You know. I was listening to a podcast recently. it was, you know, one of these message boards where guys are talking about how small their penises are and how it's never going to work out for them. And then it's got like the fun facts where it's like, well, in Korean, and in Korea, like the average dick is like two to four inches. And you're like, oh, I got that beat. I'm good to go.

You know? And the South Koreans are a very industrious, happy people. What am I complaining about? So I might hit up these Asian brads because then I don't got to worry about, you know, she goes, very normal good South Korean penis right here. Very good. Asian girls. When I was single, Asian girls were probably the best in bed by far.

Well, maybe I'll have to. That's why I do, and you make smart kids. I see Mark Zuckerberg with that. His fucking little Asian kids and I go, ah, those kids are probably fucking fantastic in math. He's gonna live a good life. The price of prostitutes guys, don't forget to get a vote on that one. this song. There it is. All right.

Hey, I did this. too. Guys, vote on all the problems at biggest problem. That show. Our problems tonight were the price of prostitutes. Everything on Amazon is the same. Leaving breakup letters and trying to

look masculine with a cat. You can't do it. We're going to get into your superchats in a second. I will say this. I got a mini problem for you. Here's my mini problem. Wrong thing. Here's my mini problem. We got signing up for a business email by accident.

Everybody told me, hey, get a free Google voice number so we can leave voicemails. And I said, awesome, I'll do that. And then I go, and they go, yeah, it's free to get a Google voice number. I go, cool, how do I get one? And they go, that'll be $10 a month business email account. And I go, God damn it, what do you mean? And they're like, yeah, you signed up with the wrong email. When you set up the biggest problem show, you said it's for a business.

So I cannot get a free Google voice. I will buy one and set it up. I just stopped setting it up because I knew I had to pay for it. But guys, in the meantime, if you want to send any voicemails, anything for the show, hit us up at Biggest Problem Show at gmail.com. And we'll have those. Glad you have to listen to that. I had one of the people just call me up telling me, I don't know, I suck.

There's still time. There's still time. Maybe somebody can get a voicemail in? Sure. I'm going to see. Do anybody send any during the show? Call in and tell him I suck to make Vito feel a little better. I don't know.

Well, I want to thank Tommy C for being here. Tommy C. Where do we find you, buddy? I'll be at Tommy C's SFTP. Just type in the damn part. I'll be there. And as I leave the Internet world and do this part-time. But thanks so much for having me on.

I do appreciate you. Absolutely. Hey, you're good, you're good part. Somebody was said, who are you fighting with right now? Nobody. Who's your big nobody? I saw you talking shit about Billy, though. Oh, Billy? Oh, Billy's a piece of shit. I have like a... What's wrong with Billy the Fridge? What's the... Do you want to talk about that?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, tell me. I mean, I'm engaging. I'm podcasting with this guy. I got to know all the problems with this guy. Oh, you've been fine as long as you're making money with him. I mean, that's fine. But I'll give you an idea. He must have been... He got hooked up with, like, Leafy. And he was doing real well on that whole fucking thing. This was talking about 10 years ago. And I had a, and we had, I left baited and it started another podcast with Colossol's crazy. And Billy, like, kind of faked being my friend, you know. Really?

Yeah, yeah, he did. Oh, shit, is he doing that to me? Am I going to get your rapido? Well, and I'll show you this stuff. Obviously, I would have, okay, okay. But he also did it to my friend, Dave, a guy, I was, you know, another, a friend. fellow veteran, right, who was also trying to get the podcast. It was me, Colossal, and Dave, right?

So they had wrestling in common. They're being a funny guy. And of course, me and Keynes are a big war at the time, right? So what happened was, so he was like, I remember Dave called me and said, what do you think this guy, Billy wants to come on? I was like, you know, he seems like a good guy to me, and he loves wrestling, so you guys,

that'll probably be good for you both, right? And Billy went on that show and then did a baited podcast that night bashing Dave and me at a nowhere. Saying what? That you guys suck at podcasting? Yeah, yeah. The whole thing they suck. Wow. You're up. See, you're right. Keemstar. That guy's obsessed with you. The whole nine, right? Oh, no. So I, I am extremely petty. Yeah. I, I, yeah, you know that. I'm extremely petty. And I like revenge. And I like, and I like, and I like big stuff. So I kept that quiet. How long ago was that, though? Like years? That was probably in 2017. Yeah. And I waited.

2017 Billy's talking about a wrestling podcast. Yeah, well, it's just good, it's not even that. He just kind of, all right, all right. I'll give you an idea. He went in and threw Dave on the bus, and Dave really had nothing to do with me and Keem's drama, and this is the only podcast they actually removed from YouTube. The only beta podcast, and the only way you can still hear it

is actually on the SoundCloud version of the beta pockets. They're embarrassed about it, right? They're embarrassed that Billy was talking so much shit. No, no. So they wanted, it was a setup, and I think he was trying to fucking get money at Akeem and say, look at me, I'm a great guy, you know, support me, maybe he got, like, he was just, you know, he's doing it for, you know, doing what, you know, do what's he gonna do? Get a real job or something like that?

He'll work, you can't move. He's like 700 pounds, right? So I waited until he was, he was, very large. Yeah, I mean, and I waited until he was like weak. He actually attacked one of my co-os who was very well liked, and then I went after him, I exposed him for all this shit and goofed on him. effect and he started crying about it, literally became a huge cry baby and left the LCU. Well, I saw, so there was a big thing.

And didn't come back until I got fired temporarily. So Billy, Billy had previously left Lowell Cow because there was a thing where he had like, like a woman tried to pour something on him at Fat Camp and he like knocked her over or something. Oh, like, I put his hands around her neck. He put her hands around her neck and it was so weird. And I think Billy's going like, I think, you know, Billy's going a little senile too. So she was being a pain in the ass. And then he, I guess she was spraying ranch dressing.

Grading everywhere, right? That's gross. I don't want that on me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get that. And then it wasn't like, so she kind of fell on him. So that was no big deal. But when she came down, he put her hand in the neck and started screaming at her, like unironically. And then he did this whole thing where I had to protect myself from the ranch dress.

Because I'm allergic to land ranch dressing. And then whenever. that backfires. It could be alert. I was only joking around about that. And it was impossible to believe, because he had his hands or her neck. He said, don't you come near me.

Don't you fell for the joke. And she'd like, get the fuck out of here. And he just looked like a complete fucking dip shit. And that same little fat camp thing they had, like, I don't like being my content. He likes, dish out and can't take it kind of guy. You know, that's why he's just talking about magic cards. I was going to stay away from this.

I wanted to know because I, okay, I'm always trying to understand what's going on with old cow. And then I tune in. It's like Tommy C talking shit about Billy the fridge. And I go, oh, there's some fucking dish here. Something going on. Yeah. I mean, that's the way it was. He laughed.

He kind of became a big baby. My favorite thing is, um, I told like my friend Real Talk who passed away didn't like him, right? And he's told him he called him a fucking cop, right? And then he came up and goes, he's like, he's like, man, Tommy's bringing up dead homies and use them against me chat. Don't you hate Tommy? And it didn't really work because nobody cares to lockout. They just want you to be a lookout.

Right. So I made, I mean, you know, all my dead homies. All my hate so I did all my dead homies. Hey, Billy the fridge. Hey, Billy. I saw. But I was going to stay away from this because I didn't want to interfere. All right, all right.

Well, I just was trying to get to the bottom of it. I didn't know. I don't give him. Fuck Billy. I mean, if Billy was talking shit about you, it's fair enough that you were talking shit back if he started. No, no, no, no. I pretended to be his friend until I could fucking pound his week and fuck him over,

just like he fucked me over and my friend. So, no, I wasn't trying to be a good guy here. He's a good guy. He's a good person. He's not here for money. He's a good entertainer and he cares about the fans. I don't, and neither is he. He just won't tell you, and he's a total phony.

There you go. Wow. Well, now we know. I guess I'll have to be on the lookout. Maybe Billy's, hopefully he's not talking shit about me. I just want to know what you're going on. Now I know. If you guys are making money over there,

you'll never have a fucking problem. If it suits him to throw you under the bus to make money and say, hey, I'm really concerned about Vito. And he might pretend to start taking your jokes literally. Yeah, yeah, that jokes. And then all of a sudden the cuties things becomes a problem out of nowhere. You'll remember what I said. Remember what I said.

I don't know that it'll do that. I'm not predicting it. I'm not giving you a famous. It's so tough. The whole YouTube sphere, everybody's backstabbing everybody. Everybody's trying to make a dollar. I think the money does make people crazy. Like a part of the why that lowell cow I think makes people crazy is everybody's trying to make a dollar and they got a please game star.

Yeah. And you got people that don't have a YouTube channel and they have, I'm not saying the most talented guy in the world. I'm limited. I'll admit that. Right. But they're even worse than I in the kid. And they're all just slug at each other for much. You have a fallback plan.

So when you leave Lowell Cow, you're like, well, I can do my own streams. I can do my stream. It's hard time now. I'm a stone amateur now and I'm just having fun with it. And like, yeah, I mean, this is like a famous internet show. I can, you know, kind of knock, knock that off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why isn't Maddox your next guess?

That'd be funny, right? I can't get him. I mean, like, I, yeah. I've tried sending messages. I don't know how to contact the fucking guy. I think he's, uh, I think he's just really written. off this section of the internet. I think he's also worried that I'm like trying to trick him.

Like I'm going to do something to him. I trick him. I have nothing to trick him with. I mean, we have a lot in common me in Maddox. And I go, it would be great to just talk to him and see where we land. That would be a killer show. I would stop everything to watch. I think it would be inner. I think me and him could, you know, I'm not saying he's got to be my fucking co-host or whatever, but I just love to chat it up with him. He's not, he's not on, what you call it anymore?

What? He's not on anything. Really? You don't know what Maddox is up to? You haven't checked with Maddox lately? Maddox is killing it. Maddox is killing it. Here, I'll show you. Now tell me what you would do, Billy, sorry, tell me what you would do Tommy if you walked in. A guy invites you. He said, there's going to be a cool house party. We're all going to be hanging out. There's going to be chicks there. We're just going to be drinking. Hang out with chicks. And you walk in and these two guys around the car. couch looking at you. What would you do? Would you go, hey, we're all the, we're all the girls you said are going to be here. This is a, this is the first frame of their fucking, they have a new,

him and this guy Chad have this magic card podcast. And I don't know why. They can't find a setup where it doesn't look like your two fucking gay cousins about to start sucking each other off. We're like, guys, I thought we were going to play golden eye. What the fuck? Here, let's watch two seconds of this. What? We're getting our 249th secret layer this year. He man. The announcers are going to be a big... What is that fucking cut?

You know what the problem is? And you can include me in this. I'm going to be fucking totally some of those Gen Xers are getting too old for this shit. And I'm one of them. Yeah. I think that's the problem. Even me, man. I go, look, maybe I got a couple more years of this before you go. What am I

going to do? Watch Grandpa Vito, complain about another fucking Marvel movie or whatever. But, dude, I'll be 50 next month. You know that. I think Maddox is already 50, and he literally looks like you're fucking, he looks like the guy at the fucking Greek restaurant and goes, you want Slovakia, you want extra cucumbers? Like, the idea that I want this hip young man to tell me about the latest magic cards.

My goddamn wife. Also, he just stares at a giant laptop the whole fucking show. Maddox, guys, put the fucking laptops away. and do a show. Who's the artist on that? Let's take a look at that. The artist on this one is Justina Dura. Yeah, it's incredible.

Very cool. Very cool. You're looking up the, you're looking up the fucking, the artist. The entire show now is Maddox looking at his laptop. He doesn't even look at it. Why even have a camera? Just do it by fucking, do it by Zoom at this point. Why do you even have a set?

If the set is just you and your buddy looking down on your laptops. See, somebody just wrote. the chat that Maddox is Bill Burr. Is Bill Burr like a bad guy now in the comedian world? Really? Yeah, Bill Burr, Bill Burr has lost a lot of cloud lately. He's considered, I don't know, there's only a lot of different stuff. He gives me to his black wife. Well, a black wife, a lot of people are saying ever since he got a black wife, he's become like, whoa. He's been with that woman for like 15 years, though. He's been with that woman forever. Yeah. Okay, tell me what you think of this look on Maddox. Let me see if I can get to this.

So is this, if you're a 50-year-old man, can you get away with this? No, I can barely get away with fucking Deadpool. How can he get away with that? I mean, look at it. Come on. Yeah, exactly. I think someone's going to have to start embracing our age, you know? I got no problem with that, man.

I want to wear fucking suspenders and just a fucking, you know, I want to look like an old fucking farmer. I'm getting there. Yeah, but the little thing, too, is like, there's a lot. You see these guys outside. I have different clothes for different situations. Yeah. I could dress like I'm fucking in arcade when I'm in my own arcade, but not out there. You know.

Well, the cool thing is going to be that with AI, we're never, you're just going to have a person. You'll be eternally young. You'll have an AI avatar that'll make all the videos for you. And then you can just hide behind that. Look, it looks like a dead. I'm going to get old. I'm getting old like Clint Eastwood. I'm driving this motherfucker right in the ground, man.

No, no. I think the time Maddox to start a magic gathering podcast. And I have a magic gathering. I'm going to say I'm still, I'm right at the cusp. I'm the last guy to have a magic gathering podcast. I'm still good. Me and Billy talking about magic cards. Maddox for some reason, though, he just looks dead.

And also he doesn't know anything about magic, which makes the show impossible to listen to. I think he wrote me a couple years ago, how disappointed he was in me. I was like, who the fuck? For what? For what fucking reason? I think I made some fucking crack about, like, him being a, like, remember he made like, Oh, well, you were making a crack about his documentary when he put out his fucking documentary. We all said,

it was like, look at me and poor me. And can you believe the judge didn't rule my favor? It was hysterical. Bro, he spent so much time on that fucking documentary that you went. What in, what in your head was going to come out of that? Like,

I think that's what I was saying. Here, I think I said, yeah, I think I'd say it. He's like, well, you didn't watch it. You didn't watch the whole thing or you didn't do this. Like, fucking, you, you bitch the first 20 minutes. I can't get a fucking idea what you're talking about. You know, I mean, It's just so ridiculous. And also, dude, you can't even watch it now.

Maddox, what was it? I don't even think his channel has it. Stocker or whatever. Like, he had to take half of it down, full documentary. I think part of it had to take it. Yeah, see, he had to re-upload it because he, like, docks somebody in it? And I think somebody threatened to sue him. I think they're like, dude, take my name out of it or I'm going to fucking sue you.

So now this one only has 1,000. Oh, this isn't even his upload. This is the World Wide Web Wizard. Has the full one. And then Maddox, I think some of the chapters are. missing or like reuploaded because again. Yeah, I mean, Mattick for like 30,000 reviews. I'm on his podcast. I know. I shouldn't be talking shit because I'm going, look, Maddox, I just think you handle a lot of this badly,

but I still think you could be a funny guy and you could have fun making shows, but too late. It's too late. I don't know. You think it's over for him. I don't think he, because, all right, you're a little woke, but you, you know how far you can take it. Like, I don't think he does. He's like, he's like I dobs. He's eye dubs before I does. There's no way to go with this. That's true, dude. Man, I was thinking about this recently. The guys who got sucked in by like the woke shit. You never did that bad. So for the longest time I avoided. I was like, I don't want to talk about like with this woke and it's like just a fucking buzzword. And I'm like, no, I guess that just is what we're using to describe it. Now AOC is even talking about like woke one.

I go, okay, this is just the word we're using now. Uh, and I'm thinking about dude, I knew a bunch of guys who were like cool guys and they're making cool shit. And they either A got sucked in by the woke shit or B, the woke shit created an environment where they could no longer thrive. And it actually like fucking, it really pisses me off when I go, man, we were, I knew a bunch of cool guys, artists, creators, comedians, and we're all making really cool shit for a while. And then all these fucking activists and progressives and bleeding hearts showed up. And it just became impossible to do anything. Like anything you did would offend people.

you would try to do a podcast and you would get a million comments about like, oh, I noticed you said that cloud from Final Fantasy is your spirit animal. I don't know if you understand how many indigenous people just died because you fucking said that. You know what the end game of that is? I found out. You know, you know the yo-l-l-l-l-l-l-ol-old guy? Right? Which guy?

Yo-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-a-l-l-l-a-l-l-l-a-l-l-a-l-l-a-l-l-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a. You know what I'm talking about. I don't know what I'm talking about. All right. It's an old Russian meme. Yololol lo, lo, lo, lo, is that what you're talking about? Trollolo. Trollolo.

Trollolo. Here, I'll put it up so people know what we're talking about. So you would admit, like, I don't know if you like it, but the guy has an amazing voice, right? Yeah. So that was, that came, yeah, this guy right here, he died five years ago. There you go. That's as much as I can play without getting copyright struck. Yeah, probably right.

So, I mean, like, yeah, so what he did was, because the Soviet Union was so strict, right? And this was, this is from the government, right? So it was a cowboy song, but they couldn't put the cowboy in because that's too close to America. So they think of the one about reversing the lyrics. And then they just like, you know what, fuck it, well, just gonna go out and go troll lo, lo, lo,

because he couldn't do anything. Because it's like, it's, it's, it's, so that's where all the self-censorship gets you. Eventually, the government gets it, and they censor you, and that's really what it built up to. It's just that you can't do anything. Can't do anything. Anything. Anything.

And me and you are on opposite sides of the political spectrum, like 100%. Yeah. And we both agree, like, you know, you should be allowed to be created. You know, it's something. Well, there's not, but the problem became there wasn't even like, you couldn't even rebel against it. It couldn't, it wasn't even like, I don't care. I'm going to just like forge my own path and like just be funny or do whatever. Cause you'd either get banned from YouTube, which is just like poison. Like once you don't have access to that audience, you're gone. And also just like people would just obsessively ruin you for like, that's a bad guy.

It's like, do you know that Colin Moriarty guy? All he does is talk about like fucking PlayStation games and shit. He's like a, he was a former video game journalist. Whatever. His name's Colin Moriarty. He's got a big podcast about PlayStation games. His cancellation came. There was like, they had like, it was fucking World Women's Month or something, you know?

It was like, World's Women's Month. you know, you know, celebrating all the women of the world. And his thing was, yeah, celebrate them going to that kitchen and making me a fucking sandwich. And like, dude, all his friends said, listen, we've removed him from our podcast. We don't appreciate that kind of toxic, whatever the fuck shit. And you just go, that's the thing. It's like, it's not like you could just be funny and get around it. Like people in your sphere would be so terrified that even if they supported you quietly, they're like, yeah, I don't know.

I just don't want all the fucking gay kids yelling at me for the next fucking two years. So see you. There's a flip side. I'll do the flip side of that. And then it brought all these like sort of phony, conservative right-wing guys to piss and moan about it all the time. And they're their own kind of. Yeah, man.

Oh, God. It's the fucking infuriating. That was the most inferiority fucking shit is that guys who were not funny and not artistic and not creative made entire fucking careers out of going, oh you don't understand how the left is stopping us from making great media and great fucking shit shit. And then people gave them a shit ton of money. That's why Daily Wire Drives. I think there's a place for that. But it did get to the point where it was like, like, I think it's what happened to Jeremy, right? Everybody's had enough of him because quartering. Woke's been kind of fucking

done for a while, but he was acting like it was brandy, dandy fucking new. I think there was a place and a time to fight back against that type of woke bullshit. Just, you know, just what you were complaining about before. There was nowhere to go. The problem, though, was the battles they would fight. You'd go, dude, you were getting so bogged down in they gave one trans lady a can of beer. Okay? The Bud Light gave one Translady a can of beer. Well, that one works, though.

Yeah, well, they canceled. But I'm going, but, okay, it worked in what way? You've successfully got people to stop buying Bud Light? No, it's not that. What does that put the terrifies people into working with trans influencers? No, no. It terrifies people for. for going that route, shoving that politics down your throat.

Now you can't. Now it's not a viable option. That's what they were. Right. But I know what you're saying, too. No, I agree with you. But I agree with you, too. Like, you get all these sort of weird grifters out there that, you know, I'm for that.

I'm for, you know, like, any kind of censorship or self-censorship, which is, like, the worst, or anything to box creativity. It's so weird to me growing up when all the lefty kids were always the most creative growing up in high school and I was in bands with them and stuff like that. And the most repressed, ultra-concessed. like in a weird way 80s ultra conservative now it's like it's mind-blowing it's just my dad always told me that when the lefties get power they're gonna be just as up they're gonna put scholar scholar letters on everybody and they're gonna be just as uptight as the the biggest christian bitch you know and that was right that actually kind of came true you know but it's just like it's just like it's so infuriating to me and like there's guys i don't want to talk about who it is

but like i knew a guy you know and he was always like a fucking bleeding heart leftist or whatever but but he wanted to make video games, and we all supported him. We're like, yeah, man, get your video games done or whatever. And he just spent, like, the last fucking three, four years working on this fucking RPG game. And this is a guy who, like, completely wrote me off, like, banned me from his podcast. He said, you're basically, like, a right-wing Nazi or whatever. And I'm like, all right, man, like, I don't know. I thought we were cool, but fuck it.

I'm not going to meet your purity test ever. He's like a Berkeley liberal. And then his game came out, and it's a bunch of queer kids running around a fucking, school full of demons and one of the kids says they, them pronouns, and the other kids, like a black kid with pink hair. And I go, and it sold like no copies. And I go, well, yeah, man, like, because you drank so much of the sauce. You drank so much of the shit that you're like completely disconnected from what a normal

person would want to play. You don't think the kids are not saying the F-ster anymore. You don't think the kids are pretty much with it. They might be a little quiet about being assholes. They're the same assholes who they were when we were kids, too. And you're creating this whole dream world that doesn't even really exist that nobody can connect to. Most of the kids are in there doing anti-woke stuff just to be rebellious like both kids. Dude, the next generation of kids is going to be fucking wild because I'm hearing from like,

I'm seeing post from teachers and they're going, the kids will not shut up about Epstein and making Epstein jokes and talking about pedophiles or whatever else. I'm like, yeah, because that's all they're growing up with on YouTube. It's like seeing all their favorite Minecraft, like creators getting canceled for like, you know, trying to hook up or whatever. It's like, or they're like, all the kids are saying the N-word now. Like, in the schools, it's just, yeah, what's up my N-word? How are you doing my N-word?

Like, the next generation, I think, is going to be so anti-woke where it's going to be, like, actually fucking insane. Yeah. So maybe it'll be good. Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? All right.

Well, let's read these. Yeah, go ahead. I was going to say you want to do the super chats here. It's, it's nuts where we're at. I hope the pendulum swing in the right way, but it just feels. It feels what we lost 15 fucking years of like cool shit by bowing down to these people. I think so. And it's funny because the same people that did that were the ones that were fighting against it when I was a kid on like MTV.

Yeah. And then they wanted to become super censorship and it sucks. AK for five says I thought I missed yesterday's episode. Alas, it's a Friday show. That Cody said for two says thanks for not killing the show. You're welcome. The category is Kank says, Vito. can't get Maddox in the show. Try to do an episode with

Dark Side Phil. That'd be amazing. Have you talked to that guy? He's an interesting guy. I don't know if he would be a, I don't know if he riffs though, you know? No, no, no, no. D. Money, pimp, slap for tenses. This guy is boring. I was an Iraqi war vet.

Wow, so interesting. I do think that's interesting. Why was that not interesting? Looks like a fatter-bam Margera without tattoos. Vito looks thin next to this guy. This is awful. Margarra is better. I don't know about that. AK 5, shout out to Vito's dead dad.

RIP dead. I love you. Can I happen for big two? Your dad really died? Is that a joke? Oh, no. Yeah, he died like five years ago. Oh. I think his liver exploded.

I never got all the details. Oh, you were. Oh, and they make fun of your dad? Are you, is that body? Yeah, they make fun of my dead dad. It's a complicated scenario. Did you stop talking? You didn't stop talking.

You didn't stop talking. You didn't die? That's so weird. No, I didn't stop talking. talking to him. That's the weird thing. All these guys have like weird conspiracy theories. It's a whole complicated thing where they're like, oh, Vito's dad hated him. I'm like, no, he didn't. What he was talking about? You dad died because he hated you. I'm like, all right, guys. Whatever.

Sarah Gardner for five, don't listen to that guy. Vito, cats are cool. We want to see them. By the way, neuter male cats can still spray. I saw my cat's penis one time and I'm still, I'm still not okay with it. I go, man, I was just rubbing his belly. And I look down. I'm like, are you getting off on this, you little pervert? What the fuck are you doing? Teddy, Teddy, Teddy for 20 says, I pay for them just to give them a stern talking to. I think he's talking about prostitutes.

Like I paid them to a hotel room, get all ready, and boom, read them the Bible. Uh-oh. Cody says, for five, says, I got some shit to talk about Billy. He believes in ghosts and that's stupid. Does he believe in ghosts? Oh, who cares about.

I'm not going to criticize them with that. I think there's something to that, too. So you can call me stupid, too. You think there's something to ghosts? I don't think there, I don't think there's, there's, like, disembodied people that are, that are coming back from the grave. But I do think. There's echoes.

There's echoes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think, I think that's, I don't even think it's a dead. I think it's just a, the best one I heard was, you know, you hear the, well, the girl that got hit by a car in the way for the prom. And every night, you see her walking up the one. I think that's, like, um, um, I think people really see that shit. I've never seen it myself, but I do think there's some kind of weird...

I think it's possible that, you know, based on physics, you know, when you die, it creates such a violent time-based event. Well, I mean, I was reading about an English ghost story where they saw a ghost of a living person. So I wonder if it's... I wonder if it's just some kind of fucking something to do with time. I used to love Unsolved Mysteries. You remember watching that shit? I was a big fan of that one.

A man in a car goes, I'm like, oh man, what did happen? It could have been anything. Anything could happen. I love the show. It was a huge kid. I'm a huge Robert Stack because I like the old untouchables, the black and white one. Oh yeah. Oh, yeah.

I was sad when that guy died. All these celebrities have been dying later lately and I'm like, yeah, none of it's going to match up to the fucking Unsolved Mysteries guy dying. I just grew up with him and like Bob Barker were like my two TV guys. Well, there's going to be a lot. I just realized something, too, because what Dolly Parham is 80, you're going to, that's the biggest generation is the boomer generation. And they're in their late 70s now in early 80s. So you're like, because I saw somebody right, well, when will this stop?

It's really going to really kick up. Yeah, that's what people don't understand is it's like, dude, we have the largest number of babies born and like, you know, whenever. And their time's up. Yeah. So if you think, if you're about to get more celebrity deaths than you've ever seen, it's going to be weird and it's going to be sad. It happens in tens. Okay, here's the thing, though. Do you ever like when a celebrity dies, are you ever like, man, I'm glad I'm not a Dolly Parton fan because otherwise I would feel bad.

Like, I'm like, I don't really kid. Dolly Perrin's dead. I feel bad for everybody. Like, I feel bad for everybody. But I'm like, I'm glad that I wasn't like a big fan. And now all day I'm going to be like, ah, Dolly Parton's dead. Now I'm like, ah, Dolly Parton. It doesn't bother me at all.

I hate people. Like, there's another thing. Like, they're dead cats and dead celebrities and getting misty over it. I hate people to do that. I'm trying to remember the last time, like a celebrity, like, really I, like, gave a big shit about it. I don't know, man. Well, me, he was Charlie Kirk because he got his fucking head blown off.

That was shocking. Dude, that was crazy. Yeah. The funniest thing about that was. I wasn't a Charlie Kirk fan either. I'm like, wow, that's fucking crazy. Bro, when I saw that video and then I saw Tim Poole's tweet and he goes, I'm getting word that Charlie Kirk might be stable.

And I go, do you know what a neck is, retard? He's not stable. his fucking heads missing of the bull you know you know what you know what I yeah I talk my I'll throw Tim Pool of Bone because I was looking for a reason I hoping he pulled through so it's I think it's just a psychological thing like you just you just hoping well I'll tell you what they told this when I could do certain types of things like pressure wounds and stuff I learned in the army and they showed like pictures when they're training us like guys of like his brains hanging out of his head and shit yeah telling him no matter what happens tell the other troops he's with

he's gonna be okay. It's like, because otherwise you're just fucking, you wanna create a fuck up the truth. Well, I heard a story about a medic told me, a guy put a gun to his head, you fucking fix my guy, he's so clearly dead, you know? So you wanna keep everybody fucking calm.

So I think that's what a lot of people did with Kirkley. They kinda, they just wanted to believe that, see, I thought the bullet may went through, maybe they could stop the bleeding, Bob, no, but he's fucked, you're right. Look it back, yeah. Bro, I saw that video and I went, no, there's no, like. I thought it was AI.

I thought there's AI when I saw it. Dude, it was so violent that I was like, I've never seen, I watch a lot of videos of Chinese people and Brazilians, you know, killing each other. Yeah. And, uh, I was trying to talk myself into it. I'm totally. It's just like, you do. I didn't want to be that either.

I was like shocked. It was, it was shocking. It's so funny how quickly now, like, shocking events happen at such rapid succession. That, like, we don't even really, back of the day, like, you know, when fucking Kennedy got shot. For the next, like, five years, people are going, man, can't believe the president got shot. I remember where I was when the president got shot The guy who shot him got blown away on TV too Exactly

And now it's like Ah yeah but then a preschool got shot The next week and then a guy blew up a Fucking then a lady drowns Afro kids or whatever And you're like ah the world's full of horrors What are you gonna do? Maybe we'll talk about it on

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