The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 36

Episode Date: April 16, 2022

Media Consolidation, Living in the Ghetto, Roadside Death Shrines, Spoiler Nazis

I can make like a little like transition animation. Oh, really? Yeah. I think you can set that up. Like a dick getting chopped off? Yeah, it could be like and then cut away.

Or sew it back on. I don't know if I want to get that involved. Come on, Vito. I'm going to animate a 3D dick getting chopped in half. Oh, it's 3D now. Well, I mean 2 to these a whole other thing I'm gonna cheat it guy could cheat it. Oh, man. I got I got some for you, but I got a big announcement. Yeah

This 420 420 something big's happening. Okay. I'm gonna call in some favors. I'm going around the block calling in favors. Is this specifically for me? No, everybody. Just in general, there's going to be something going on. I'm calling in favors from everybody on this one. All right, all right, all right, all right. Okay.

I don't ask for a plug, but come on. Okay. Come on. I'm excited. Is 4-20 normally a holiday you celebrate? Oh, yeah. Really? You got to. You got to. Well, you're not normally like a huge weedsman. Is 420 normally a holiday you celebrate? Oh yeah Really? You got to

You got to Well you're not normally like a huge weedsman I hate weed You hate weed Hate smoking it, hate being high Yeah Think about my life too much How do you celebrate 420?

Smoke that weed man Once in a blue moon kind of thing Once a year Once a year Yeah Is it really only once a year you'll get high? No Okay I get high every Every like couple days Parties of thing once a year once a year yeah is it really only once a year you'll get uh high no okay i get high every every like couple of days i don't know i've never seen you really smoking

too much i don't like smoking weed reefer yeah because it knocks me out i get hungry well i get all paranoid i can't move for me yeah i like drinking i will only smoke i forgot what i did when i'm drinking it's the opposite oh I was an asshole you don't say if I'm about to smoke weed like the pizza's either need to be there or 15 minutes away cause otherwise

I'm gonna have a bad time alright this is gonna be if you're listening keep in mind I'm down to one arm right now I'm down to one arm

and left handed Joe over here some amount of Norco in my body I've got pills fighting each other in my body. Yeah.

I've got a tube going into my chest. If you pass out during the show, I won't know what to do. I guess I'll just try to keep the entertainment going. Take the sex doll and run. I don't want that crippled-ass sex doll. The pussy still works, I'd imagine. I guess the pussy still works for crippled-ass hands. Hey, by the way, is my problem guys who come over early for the show and then blow up the

bathroom big time with the big shit, big monster shit? What are you talking about? I use the upstairs one. That's not even the one you use. The upstairs one. Any toilet. I had to shit. Did you come over early specifically to shit?

No. Or what? You just came over early. There's something wrong with the air in your house and it's clearly, you know, adjusted the temperature of whatever's inside of me. Did you close the door after you were done or did you leave it out?

Peter, you gotta close the door. I'm not a shit etiquette guy. I mean, come on. Is there no fan in the upstairs bathroom? No, there's a fan but it's attached to a heating coil. Okay. So it heats, it has a gigantic heating element and has a fan attached to's attached to a heating coil okay so it heats it has a gigantic heating element and has a fan attached to it because i was trying to get the fan to run and it didn't seem like there's any fan what do you this is like a surprise shit whatever everyone

shits i never understand this new thing where everybody makes a big deal out of shitting it's not a there was in a previous era nobody ever gave a shit about anyone taking a shit but it's in somebody else's house. Where do you want me to go? Your own house. I am making you thousands of dollars with this show. You're making me? Let me use your bathroom, motherfucker. You piece of shit.

I mean... Biggest problem in the Universe. Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe. The only show that ranks every problem in the universe. From kinks you can shame. Yes. To bullying the lame. I'm your host, Dick Madison.

Joining me as always is Vito Giswaldi. Blowing up bathrooms across America. You don't know that? That's basic etiquette, man. Oh, whatever. At least he's sorry. Okay, I'm sorry I took a shit in your toilet. Okay.

Now you got to apologize to my... Your wife? Dog. Your lady friend there? Your dog? Dog came out. I was like, whoa, what's going on? Oh, come on.

The dog doesn't give a shit. All right. I'm going to reach all the way over myself to get a drum roll from last time. Boycotts of the week. That was a nail biter. Yeah, it was. That was a close one. What the hell?

Because I thought your problem was like a what? Well, mine was the Windows 10 search bar. Yeah, well, a lot of people had very passionate comments about the Windows 10 search bar. You know what the worst part is sometimes? You bring a problem like that, it's a guaranteed win, and then guys will just flood the comments with a fix for it. Like, you got to install this, you got to install this, you got to install this. Like, guys, save it.

Honestly, though, that thing they suggested, I should install it. I was like, oh, that sounds good. There's some sort of file cache manager. It's probably full of malware. I mean install it. I was like oh that sounds good. There's some sort of file cache manager. It's probably full of malware. It doesn't mean it's not a problem. Yeah.

Yeah. It's a problem that has a solution. That doesn't mean it's not a problem. You should vote it up anyway. Yeah. I also saw that people

took our cue to vote more. Vote more. And we had a lot of voting this week and I appreciate that everyone. I think. Especially for making me the winner because I brought in the superior problem of the weekly boycott it's just

it's just an annoyance really well boycotts are just in the search bar you need search bar is a significant hindrance i think that convincing people that they are making a political difference by doing nothing is a problem i think it is making our society I saw a new boycott today. Oh, Cernovich. Cernovich is like, if we all boycott, or was it the other guy? Posabeek. I always get them mixed up. Either way. They're like, if we all boycott

Twitter, Elon Musk wins. And I'm like, shut the fuck up. You just started boycotting Disney last week. You're already on another one? If you got time to boycott man how would they find out about the boycott if they boycott you guys specifically are never gonna boycott twitter you can't go 10 minutes without using twitter yeah you're not boycotting twitter that's why these boycotts are ridiculous when did men like when did boycotting become

so fashionable i don't remember when I was a kid. I don't know. Blood diamonds happened, and then all of a sudden, which did nothing, and then all of a sudden, everybody's boycotting everything. I think in an era of increased powerlessness, like you have less power and control than ever. Yeah. The illusion that this gives of like,

we the people can shape the world by not buying a Nike sneaker. You're like, yeah, I can understand that fantasy appeals to people who don't know how to. And then next it's God. Yeah. Now it's like, all right, well, the boycott didn't work, so we got to start praying. Guys, we got to start. Yeah. We got to start praying Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ. It's our prayers that are making it work, man. My brothers, Jesus Christ has held civilization together for so many years. My buddy, Jesus Christ. It's a beautiful mass delusion. It is a religion, the boycott people. It's a cult. Everything they say is a religion.

I know. All of it. It's like, never once did they focus on anything that could help. Never. Never. It's all wishful thinking. Never. And lashing out and then moving on to the next thing and then realizing you need to panic

make money to eat. Windows 10 search bar. That came in second. Pushing out and then moving on to the next thing and then realizing you need to panic, make money to eat. Yeah. Windows 10 search bar. That came in second. I mean, I agree with you that it's a problem. Yeah. Then kink shaming. Kink shaming was a negative.

Was it? I got like hundreds of negatives, but then yours was also a negative. Oh, was it? Disability discrimination? Disability discrimination. What discrimination was dead. What the fuck? Super negative because everyone thinks you need to suck it up, crippled. How could that be negative?

How could discriminating against this, don't we have enough to deal with? I have to put my deodorant on by setting it on the counter. Yeah. And giving it one swipe before it knocks over. That's how I have to. You're now positioning your armpit over the bar bar yeah like shoot okay stand it back up that's my life now can you get it's horrible spray how the fuck am i gonna spray that you put that in your crypt up hand and you just i can't use this crypt up hand because the nerve blocker has deadened the whole thing so my entire arm

goes to sleep and wakes up all day. That's the life I'm living right now. You know that feeling of your arm waking up after you fall asleep on it? How horrible that is? I'm like, ah, fuck. All day. In, out, in, out. This is what you get for trying to be physically active,

whereas I live an entirely sedentary lifestyle, and it's nothing but rough. Look at this. Look what I can do with my hands. Anything I want. I hope you get like a cat disease or something. I'm going to get bed sores

or something. Who knows? I'm sitting around in a chair all day. And disability discrimination. I'm going to adjust the volume one second. All right. He says one second,

but it'll probably take 10 minutes with that Gimp Panda his. So how's everybody doing? How's everybody feeling? Thanks for coming back. And I wanted to mention, Dick, I should actually check. What? That the Patreon is killing it, my friend.

Oh, yeah. Do we have 1,000 yet? Well, we're going to check right now. Patreon.com slash biggest problem has 998 patrons, Dick. Okay, we better have 1,000 by the time this is over. We are two patrons away from 1,000 patrons, which is huge. That's a huge success. That's a big deal.

If we don't have 1,000 by the time this is done, I'm canceling the whole show. That's it. You guys didn't get us there. All right. that's it. You guys didn't get us there. All right. Prone, prone check says,

uh, Vito, Vito says guys like Jordan Peterson say the way to save this country is to buy my book. Uh, and then he says weird to call out Peterson out of all the people who are better examples. He has never said anything remotely close that as far as I know, his books aren't even inherently political. They are about psychology and quote self-help. They're aren't even inherently political. They are about psychology and, quote, self-help.

They're very focused on the individual. The left calls for boycotts all the time, and they have tons of pundits who write books as well. Everybody writes books. The right and the left. Yeah. The issue is, I don't think the left ever tries to be your dad. The left tries to be your mom.

The left tries to go, if you don't listen to me, your life's going to be terrible. Oh, I know what I'm doing. No, the left tries to be your mom. Left tries to go, if you don't listen to me, your life's going to be terrible. Oh, I know what I'm doing. No, the left tries to be your buddy because they want your kids. They don't want to be your dad. They want to be your uncle. They want to be their creepy uncle. Chester the Molester uncle. Exactly.

I think part of the problem is, like, he's even internalized the phrasing here. His books aren't even inherently political. Like, that's the problem. Yeah. The people on the right, they know that they're on on the right but they'll say like well i'm not even political buy my book instead of the right and they'll say well i'm not really on the right and you're like how can i push you are yeah it's never it's never like you know what i am fucking on the right go to the voting polls vote this vote for this whatever it is very self-serving that's true um pursuit of a higher aim i guess

yeah at least that's the criticism i see me too they all do it too well everybody on the right will instantly get on board with every little thing that comes their way too yeah uh they all like the disney thing well they see an opportunity yeah again it becomes like a hive mind where it's like well we're all mad about cuties i don't think we're all mad about disney i don't think yeah that's the thing i don't even think they believe i know they don't believe this whole these guys are groomers trying to groom your kids they're just like oh we can we can easily win with this rhetoric and whatever else i'm like i know what game you're playing yeah and you guys aren't good at it you're

not that good at it either because you care yeah, the left doesn't care that they're hypocrites. You guys do. Like if someone calls you a hypocrite, you will spend the next 10 years explaining why you're not a hypocrite. And that's why I was joking when I said the left is just like, whatever, that's how I feel. Right, like me. I go, my hypocrisy is fine because it's funny. Outrun Citizen says, the jerky slow motion was taught in a media class as a valid option.

Well, that was dumb. By who? It's not a valid option. I mean, it's a last ditch effort if you can't figure out how to fill the frame, but... Yeah. Tom List says, great problems this week,

but the Windows 10 search bar wins it all. I have no clue how they managed to completely break that thing. It worked flawlessly in Windows 7 through 8.1. Yes, even 8.1 had a better search bar than this shit. I dread to think how bad the Windows 11 search will be. It'll just connect to OnlyFans. I've stopped trying to search for files entirely.

Like, I forgot that was even ever a valid option. Takes 10 years to find anything. Me fucking too. I was like, yeah, if I want a file, I'll either try to find it myself. I'll go to Gmail and download it again. Yeah, exactly. I do that constantly. I'm like, I'll just download another copy. And then when it to Gmail and download it again Yeah exactly I do that constantly I'll just download another copy

And then when it pops up I see how many times I've failed If it's like parenthesis 6 12 copies of it Neurohack says I didn't plan on supporting This show on Patreon since I already Pledged the Dick show but the show is great Dick keeps getting better Well thanks

And don't forget that it gets you access to some stuff we got bonus episodes yeah you know we're having fun with the Patreon stupid monkey

last one says hypocrite-ception claiming everyone is a hypocrite and then talking about people being hypocrites I don't know did we do that

I do think that there's a lot of we just did that two seconds ago talking about who's a hypocrite so kind of brings up a good point

alright everyone's obsessed with hypocrite here's it kind of brings up a good point. All right. Everyone's obsessed with hypocrisy. Here's what you have to realize. Well, the right is. The left is not. There's always some amount of hypocrisy in life. Yeah. I think it's impossibly 100% logically consistent.

Yeah. The question is, how blatant is the hypocrisy, you know? Yeah, very. Okay. And with me, very little. I think I'm the most ethically consistent individual in the world, which is why I won last week. Right.

With my ethically consistent positions, which is why I brought to you, Dick, a new problem. Okay. Problem I call living in the ghetto. I'm sorry. Living in the ghetto. Is that Pearl Jam that you're singing? Who did In the Ghetto? It was not Pearl Jam.

I thought, what's his name? I thought Elvis did this. Elvis did, yeah. Little boy in the ghetto. I saw this tweet the other day. They put a backing track by that? Yeah. I saw this tweet the other day from a Twitter user, a woman.

Is that song racist yet? In the ghetto? Yeah, kind of. Yeah? I forget the lyrics, but it's a little boy. They're going to have to resurrect Elvis. Like, hey, were you talking about a black guy in that song? I don't know if he mentioned skin color or not.

In a way. That's a problem. Yeah, well, that is a problem. But the problem here is this tweet that I saw from a lady. Okay. I got a lot of retweets and quote tweets going. this tweet that i saw from a lady okay i got a lot of retweets and quote tweets going i find it really funny how the idea of a bad neighborhood is basically a myth told by middle upper middle class white people to scare each other really the myth the myth of a shitty neighborhood living in

a shitty there's nothing like that what are you you talking about, bitch? White people just tell themselves that because they don't want to hang out with black people. Like the boogeyman? Yeah, basically. He steals your bike? Well, I hate to rip the wind out of her sails, but

living in the ghetto... Where does she think crime happens? I don't know. Is it just school shootings? Is that what white women think? That's the only thing happening is school shootings and men groping them? I don't know what they think. At office parties when they've led them on for a year and a half? I don't know where this person has lived.

Let me put it this way. I have lived in some, some terrible. Cockroach infested. Cockroach, yes. Famously cockroach infested, shitty low income apartments and whatever else. When I was living there, I lived in Vallejo. That was where, for those of you who don't know, there's a viral image when I posted the inside of my PlayStation.

I go, man, there's a lot of cockroaches inside my PlayStation. That was funny. And people go, how on earth? You must be disgusting. I go, no, I lived in Vallejo, Californiaia which i think is on the uh i should have looked it up it's like i know in california it's like top three cities for crime that was one of them whenever you see a news report like black man shot 80 times or any man in vallejo seems to tend to be black gentlemen i'm not sure why uh vallejo is not a good place to live what does she think snoop is singing about

like that could have been anywhere yeah no compton is just a beautiful it's just white people are afraid of the taco people working out in their yards is that is that in your nice white neighborhood dude bars on the window that's just like for looks? Well, I didn't know if I should go. I mean, I have some stats. Oh, I hope they're not FBI. I hope none of them start with 13%. Well, there are some percentages. We'll see which ones. From the U.S. Department of Justice Bureau of Justice Statistics.

That's a mouthful. Persons living in poor households below the federal poverty level have more than double the rate of violent victimization as persons in high income neighborhoods yeah so out of 1 000 people if you live in a poor neighborhood 40 people will be violently victimized whereas in a high nice high-income neighborhood, nice gated community, only 17 people will be victimized. Now, that doesn't sound...

Who was doing the victimizing? I don't know. They don't give us that exactly. Where did they live? I didn't download the entire report. It does mention that the report shows how race and Hispanic origin are related to violent victimization

okay so the blacks and mexicans are not having a great time uh and here's some great white people did this to us yeah well i lived so i lived in uh oakland vallejo a lot of terrible areas i moved for a job it was the worst job ever and we had to for some reason they decided it was a bunch of like well-meaning white people and they're like look it's so easy to get a office space in oakland and i'm like yeah there's there's a reason for that and they go no it's getting better we're gentrifying it i'm like sesame street do this to people like did white people grow up on sesame street and go like ah what's the worst that's gonna happen somebody somebody counts your car yeah somebody counts the wheels on your car not really i mean my car got broken into at least a half dozen times

they stole one time they broke into my girlfriend's car to steal a 12 pack of diet coke and a height extension for an ikea shelf i'm like you probably don't even own the shelf that height extension goes to you have no use for this uh my whole car eventually got stolen out of emeryville california oh wow uh i eventually got it back with all the parts missing so i had to you know scrap it or whatever i'm like catalytic converter yeah i was picking all the the catalytic converter and i don't know what was left in it i just emptied out the trunk and i told the junkyard like all right have fun with her yeah she was a good uh good civic while she lasted i think my favorite story from living in oakland was i read the newspaper and they go man shot dead while

painting piece mural and i go see that's like the perfect definition is that a bunch of hippies roll in and they go we can all come together paint with every color and this one just shows up and shoots them eight times in the head and steals their cans of paint. I mean, it makes his mural more impactful. It does, kind of. As long as they didn't complete it and they left it

They left the blood at the end. Yeah, like, look, this is what This is where he died This is actually our line. That would have been good. I never got to see the actual mural.

Of course they didn't, though. Point is, Dick, living in the ghetto is a terrible, terrible point. Higher rate of violence involving a firearm, 3.5 per 1,000. The overall pattern of poor persons having the highest rate of violent victimization, well, this is interesting, was consistent for both whites and blacks. Oh, okay.

So it's not your color of your skin that's going to get you shot. It's how much money you got in your pocket. Yeah, where are you living? Poor Hispanics had lower rates of violence compared to poor whites. Wait, I just want to drop in here. If anybody has any stats related to this, go post them somewhere else. Do not post them on Patreon. Do not post them on our YouTube channel.

Go send an email to yourself or your buddies. Post them on Twitter. Post them somewhere that has nothing to do with us. Okay, please proceed. This is actually fascinating. I didn't realize this. Poor Hispanics have lower rates of violence compared to whites and blacks. So if you're poor and Hispanic, it's going to be all right.

Yeah. For some reason, those poor blacks and those poor whites keep causing trouble. I don't know why. What's going on there? Well, Hispanics have this thing called a padre. Yeah. It's a Mexican thing. Oh, how does the padre work?

How does it work to quell violence? I don't know. Scientists don't know. Scientists don't know. Scientists don't know. Violence against persons in poor income households was more likely to be reported to police. That's also interesting. In the ghetto, everybody says fuck the police, but it says they're reporting the crime more often than in higher income neighborhoods.

We keep the cops out of it. So you're saying poor people don't call the cops. Poor people are snitching. Over every little thing. Over every little thing. Where you think, supposedly, there's this camaraderie of, oh, you would never call the cops. You want all the cops to get out. I mean. No, there's no camaraderie down there.

That's a myth. Down in the ghetto. Down in the ghetto. Well, I would say, why does crime follow poverty, Dick? Well, there's a number of reasons. All these stats. I guess I did bring in just the racist stats problem. Well, you can't not, though.

I'm like looking at these. That's what cities consist of, right? Well, let's just say. Unless you're in like Appalachia. Low-income African-American communities have a higher percentage of adult males behind bars yeah your father figures oh god are you are you having a big liberal whoopsie right now that's a little bit of a it's a little bit of a oopsie oops the war on drugs is traditionally targeted low-income minority communities where the strength that's a really bad instead of the suppliers who are in the well-to-do neighborhoods The war on drugs is traditionally targeted low-income minority communities where the street dealers live.

That's a really bad one. Instead of the suppliers who are in well-to-do neighborhoods. No, no. Supply. Oh. Well, I don't know. I don't know the drug ladder. The supplier?

I thought the suppliers are in the low-income neighborhoods as well. I thought nobody's making money off the drug trade. Mexico is. Mexico is like the only part, though. Yeah. They followed like a bunch of drug dealers around and like calculated how much they were making and they're making less than minimum wage. So we should lower minimum wage

so they can go work at Popeyes or whatever, right? Probably. Maybe minimum wage is not such a good idea. I don't know. I mean, we're getting in the weeds a little bit here. Point is, Dick.

When do you guys start admitting the uh-oh? The uh-oh? Yeah. So you think we should lower the minimum wage? There should be no minimum wage. No minimum wage. Anybody can work for what they feel their labor is worth. Well, you're making it illegal to have a job that is not worth. You're making it illegal for them to negotiate the wage they feel they are willing to

work for if something's only worth if something's only worth doing five bucks an hour you're making it illegal to do that job okay but is it that it's only worth doing for five dollars an hour or is it that the guy at the top is taking so much and can't possibly can be convinced to trickle it down oh i see so the law is negotiating a negotiation tactic well i think it's just that people are so stupid that the law has to negotiate on their behalf is it working do you think nothing's working it seems like it's just trapping people in poverty maybe i don't think lowering the minimum wage is going to help lift anyone out of poverty why i don't think you get out of poverty on the minimum wage. You just don't think?

I don't think. I mean, that's just like a hunch you have? I don't know what's going on. Do you think there's any truth to the government liberals wanting to keep people in poverty by giving them money to live in these ghettos? By forcing rent down?

For what benefit? Political power. To have a bigger and bigger city to have more and more. Because they want to keep getting elected? Yeah. What's the problem with these theories? It's always like, well, what's the...

That's what I would do. Okay, but I was arguing with that Gator guy. You know Gator? I know Gator. Okay, so Gator was like, see, Bill Gates wants to lower the overall standard of living. And I'm like, why?

Yeah, but are you arguing with me now? Okay, but I know, but I'm just trying to say that I'm like, Bill Gates is like an old dude who's probably going to die in the next 10, 20 years. I don't think he's like in a mad... Hopefully soon. Hopefully he dies today. Okay. Well, regardless, I don't think he's in a mad grass.

Hopefully Alex Jones runs over him with his tank before he can perpetrate more evil. If Bill Gates had a thousand years lifespan, I would understand. And maybe he does. And that would be a good theory. But like, you know, if he was able to benefit from creating this, you know, horrific dystopia, fine. But he's only got like 10, 20. I don't know how much longer he's... Yeah, but he can feel good though.

What's better? If you've got all the money in the world, your emotions and your legacy mean... My legacy doesn't mean shit to me. I don't care. But why would he want his legacy to be pushing everybody into a substandard... But he thinks he's doing a good thing.

Because he thinks people are so dumb that he should buy up all the farmland and use it to shape society as he feels like for everyone to live in their you know 10 square feet yeah with a vr headset yeah i'm okay with that maybe bill gates does know what's best for us oh yeah have you seen did you like windows do you like the window search bar he's working on that part anymore although you do make a good point that if the society was structured like the windows 10 search bar yeah it would be an absolute nightmare what do you think about democrats keeping people in poverty though with these with these programs democratic control yeah they don't have control

though what are you talking about who's in the white well yeah one private you didn't win the election i know you're right yeah right we didn't win we've just been demonetized again from youtube oh no uh well if this video is still up no we did win the last election coxhugger i meant it's not like we have a fucking stranglehold on the thing right now he's talking about approval rating is like a 30 right now we're fucked inflation is almost that high all right so clearly whatever maniacal plan we had to uh maintain complete control over the process by keeping people poor okay but what if it was a working what if it was a bipartisan plan where democrats keep people poor and republicans uh squeeze the middle class for money to give to uh corporations what if i told you that was america

it's a double-pronged attack. Then would you be more receptive to it? Sure, if everybody's involved, fine. As long as I say the Republicans are perpetrating evil too? Because I know they are. I know they are too. Democrats, I might just be naive

and stupid. That seems to be my understanding. Well, what do your stats say? That it sucks to live in america in the yeah i'm being poor yeah it sucks being poor and are the anti-poor shit is it making a difference is the war on drugs helping poor people who started the war on drugs necessarily nixon nixon yeah he was i mean it was before it was the war on drugs been going on for 100 years 120 years sure um and always in the name of women and children. Reagan really got behind that.

Yeah, Reagan was horrible. Yeah. For a lot of reasons. It's a complicated scenario. I am willing to say that both sides of government are fucking idiots. But the poor people are your guys. That's liberals domain. Republicans don't give a fuck about poor people. voting for republicans too though everybody's voting for

everybody i would like i would have to get the stats on that do poor people vote for democrats and more numbers than anything else yeah okay i mean i would assume like 98 percent of black people vote 99 it's like 98 yeah yeah well they said the next election is going to be decided by uh educated white women for some reason they're the most important did you know that it's really weird educated white women just do not make up their minds until like the week before the election yeah that makes sense though yeah they're kind of like i stay out all this partisan shit and then at the last minute i go i'll go biden this time they gotta do deep fakes of uh the other guy kicking a dog and just release that the day of yeah women would shoot it out of

a cannon hey look here's biden and kamala harris kicking dogs i was gonna say what's the best way to upset a white woman because uh i was grabbing him by the pussy i think that turned him on i think that's why trump won he didn didn't care. Oh, my God. He's so masculine. Well, I would like you to consider that your liberal pedophile allies are keeping poor people poor on purpose. Well, maybe it's just so we can have sex with their poor kids. Who knows? That could be part of it.

All I know, Dick, is my problem. Living in the ghetto. Is living in the ghetto. It's not a good time, regardless of what any white lady might tell you about it being a myth. Okay. It ain't good. My problem is media consolidation. Media consolidation, Dick.

What do you think about Elon buying Twitter? Twitter. Giving it a shot. If he announced a grace period to receive back your your banned twitter account i'm all for it oh wait you mean there's a version of this where you're not for what he's doing uh i just assumed everyone was for this what an idiot i yet again i have been yet again i have been outsmarted i don't i don't know to feel about it necessarily. He hasn't really said what he wants to do other than he likes free speech. If it's not illegal, you can say it.

Can you imagine all these blue checks saying all these they're going to be crying for a week. I worry that wouldn't that kind of ruin people would leave Twitter, I think. They're addicted. They'll find a new one that they're to get addicted to where you can't say

the n-word no how are they gonna do that i mean block block auto block they're gonna look look okay this is what i'm saying we're we've got a uh we've got a media landscape you take all the snitching out of it which is what these people are addicted to half the time we've got a media landscape. You take all the snitching out of it, which is what these people are addicted to half the time. We've got a media landscape that is so polarized and consolidated that we've got the richest man in the world trying to buy it from the government. Right. He's trying to buy a free speech from the Saudi government. Yes, from the Saudi government.

Right. And Vanguard. we've got the richest man in the world who I think is a con man and a charlatan. Absolutely. Right? Who exists on government subsidies and building toys for bougie retard assholes.

Like Tesla. Tesla's just for one specific type of person. A bougie asshole. Yeah. Right? SpaceX. I don't give a fuck about Mars. Right. Who does?

Fucking I love science nerds. Yeah. God, I can't wait to go to Mars. Science nerds got a lot of money. Just go live in a shipping container downtown. Yeah, it's the same thing. You can't go outside. It's equally miserable. What are you talking about?

Space. Oh, we got to land on an asteroid, Dick, and then we can harvest all the rare earth metals. Please, God, I want... Rare earth... You know, rare earth is not rare we can harvest all the rare earth metals. Please God, I want, rare earth, you know, rare earth is not rare. It's just called

rare earth metals. They're all over the place. They're just, they're hard to get to. No, they pollute. So we tell China to get them all.

We have, America has tons of rare earth metals. We just don't want to do it because it pollutes a lot to mine them. So China do it. So pollute the asteroid.

That'll be better. Gold, actual metals, palladium, that shit's an asteroid. That shit's an asteroid. The Black Rock's going to get that anyway. Whatever big... Like, I'm not getting any of that. You're not getting any of that.

Maybe we could. Maybe we could figure out. Maybe we could be part of it. No, no, no, no, no. What if Tesla sells the individual asteroid mining kit? It's never going to happen. For $100,000 down, you get your own rocket. $100,000 down. Yeah, I'd put $100,000 down, you get your own rocket. $100,000 down?

Yeah, I'd put $100,000 down if I'm going to get a big old gold rock out of the sky. Come on. Media, media, media, has been so consolidated

that we've got gigantic corporations fighting over the final choke point, which is Twitter, right? Yeah. Because all the blue checks and spokespeople for the government

and the governments themselves presidents are on there yeah it is weird how much twitter is like the first line of communication for that's it and then it disseminates out from there like when alex jones got kicked off of there that was a huge blow yeah hey to send off to uh shriek into the quantum wind right on his own platform he's relevant it's there's a major uh there's a major point of irrelevance that comes with being cut off of twitter right i do i do think as somebody was pointing out it's like banning somebody from social media or any platform is uh like denying them their humanity yeah and people will try to downplay it and that's fine and it's funny but the the media messages that we get from it uh uh shape society in a way that we're not

even aware of yeah uh and so you're seeing it with the blue blue check marks having total meltdowns over like yeah trying to process like trying to turn free speech into an evil thing and not really feeling comfortable with what might happen if someone's able to call them an F-slur. Here's a big expose I wrote on the implications of F-slur. He's totally destroyed my... See, that's what I'm worried about is that Twitter users like the ability to snitch and that they're going to leave the platform if they can't do it.

Where are they going to go? I'm saying somebody else could set up a twitter alternative no that's possible uh okay so this is where where this is where media consolidation started in 1983 90 percent of american media was owned by 50 companies right mediopoly well that's a lot of humor did you ever see that snl uh cartoon no there's one called mediaopoly it was by the guy who did like a schoolhouse rock and all that shit okay and it was basically just like here's how all the companies have been consolidated down into five companies oh yeah so you already know about this well yeah but then snl was like never aired this again and you're like why not and they're like you're not allowed so today the same 90 is controlled by

six six companies disney ge yeah uh viacom viacom news corps changing their names att uh yeah i think att time warner time warner yeah cbs uh that's 90 of of Americans get their news from that. 277 million Americans get their news from 230 media executives. Did you ever see those things where the news stations all have to, it's like every local news station has the same exact thing. It's like copy. Yeah. The thing about what's going on in America is, and then you cut to a guy in a different station going,

the thing about what's going on in America is that news is very important. You're like, this is creepy as fuck. When you look at the way they were acquired and like the, I mean, I don't know how old everybody is, but in the 90s when Windows couldn't even include their own browser in the operating system. Because that was considered a monopoly monopoly yeah but then you've got all of our media all of media consumption all of the messaging

that people are programmed with done by these seven companies for hundreds of millions of people and combining that with how cheap they've made month they've made access to borrowing money. So like a giant company, they can just borrow infinite amount of money. Buy whatever they want. And buy whatever they want. Pay it across 200 years. Yeah.

It's terrifying. Yes. Because no matter what your idea is, no matter how many people support you locally, like the grassroots the the actual human being supporting your cause you can never you could never fight the beast challenge something like that you can never get actual traction yeah or something like this um well maybe that's well that's what i wonder is i want to know does elon musk want to expand twitter or is it literally just i just want to buy it and

open it up i mean you could do imagine if it was a free speech platform you could run a youtube competitor that's what i was gonna say is like i see that guy going hey facebook is especially vulnerable everybody hates it everybody hates nightmare yeah i was expecting musk to this is his first prong plan to be like why not just yeah make it into like a whole fucking thing he can start a fucking news network if he wants to yeah and he could and he could choke out all the other ones i think that one that one access point like ah we're gonna actually we're gonna throttle you guys now yeah so i'm not opposed to it if it like i just i don't know what is he's planning i guess it's but regardless it'll

be more interesting than what's going on now so go for it the big six control 70 percent i guess i hope cable i guess i hope he's more ambitious than just well he's sinking a lot of dough into it if he is i'm hoping that he's like oh i'm gonna'm going to make this... I'm going to try and make the internet a little more... Yeah. A little more American. A little more American. Go back to the 90s. Yeah, the way the internet used to be.

See, I have no problem with the Nazis and shit being on Twitter and whatever else. Me either. They're funny. You just need to have good filtering tools so that people want to avoid that stuff. It's like, okay, I don't want to hang out with nazis like i think that's their right that's fair yeah i have to ban them i guess easy to set up yeah just like block there's a way to do it uh 70 of cable is controlled by the big six and that's you gotta keep in mind how stupid people are yeah right when i'm reading these stats that's 70 you

and i even we struggle to think clearly the normal guy people watching cable they're just being indoctrinated by the day just read it and then repeat it i just don't like how quickly we got tricked into do you remember when people had websites that you would visit like geocities and stuff or like you would go to like crazy dave's fun videos.org yeah just watch you never do that now no now you're just like did you upload it to youtube yeah what's your instagram what's your instagram yeah we let them trick us because they said oh it'll be so easy we're going to give you the tools to upload whatever you want it'll be so easily categorized and discoverable yeah tell us it was like a little trick to be completely in control of all of it and destroy the concept of the personal website they didn't say that no they didn't say that part out

loud so you wouldn't have been on board with that i remember like back in the day i would there was so many different websites when i opened up my browser i'd be like oh i'm gonna go to new grounds yeah yeah albino black sheep i'm gonna go you'd have to use your memory yeah what's that pickle guy who i used to go to his fucking website you've probably met that guy who's like an internet guy he's like one of the sean baby type guys remember sean baby though i do yeah and now i don't go to any of that shit i just go it's on youtube they control one out of five of oh that was the comcast nbc 178 million unique users read the time time warner news every month spread out one it's uh it's reduced our thinking it's reduced all of our thinking to these very basic and retarded concepts of

black lives matters pedophiles are bad are bad are bad pedophiles men are men women or are men not women like this is we had sophisticated conversations uh you gotta have you gotta have kids but like we had sophisticated conversations back in gotta have you gotta have kids like we had sophisticated conversations back in the day feels like they were nuanced and better and now we're brain dead and addicted to marvel movies right and quick fix um do you ever go on facebook no well sometimes facebook i rarely do but when i go on they go here's what you were talking about in 2012 and I go oh fuck nothing's changed in the last 10 fucking years it's all the same shit

even one idea like it's gotten to the point the media has consolidated so much that the only idea we're able to get through is we should be able to say whatever we want like that's still getting opposed you know like that it's

it's come down to that where the very last thing we're trying to get through is i think we should be able to say what we think and the media consolidated empire going no right and this is a this is an argument and they've got all of their blue checks and lapdogs and journalists trying to, one after the other, trying to spin it. And each one will whittle off people who are like, yeah, I think you should be able to say, pretty sure I remember something about that in school. Well, because they didn't keep it to the, they told us we were going to keep it to the extremes.

Like, if there's a guy on there giving you detailed instructions on how to blow up an orphanage, we're going to take that guy down. And we went, okay. See, you shouldn't have trusted him and now it gets never trust him right before the show we get a message from john breaks bad news he goes i've been banned from tiktok for making people depressed with my bad news yeah that i break to them and i'm like that guy's not anybody you didn't do nothing to nobody it's out of control um well i mean this comes back to a problem i brought up the whole silence of the overlords yeah technocrats i'm like you gotta let us uh social media and all

of these websites it is now you've made it you purposefully designed it to be part of the life blood of our day to stay connected to this world you have to let us participate in it in some respect. News Corp owns the top newspaper on three continents. Clear Channel owns 1,200 radio stations. 80% of stations' playlists match everywhere in the United States. So our culture has been homogenized. Yeah, frozen. Frozen in archive. Why don't we just start a radio station at one point in time? Yeah. You just go, I'm going to Or you could just like start a radio station at one point in time.

Yeah. You could just go, I'm going to buy a radio tower and start a radio station. Now it's like, no, those are all owned by one guy. And they've been turned into an app. Yeah, and they're an app. Clear Channel. Welcome to iHeartRadio or whatever the fuck. Let's see.

Movies, The Big Six, Box Office. It's $7 billion. That's two times the box office of It's 7 billion. That's two times the amount of money. The box office is the next 140 studios. It's just hilarious when I look at like what a regular movie makes versus what a Marvel movie makes. And I go, well, there's no point in making any other kind of movie. No. It's like this movie, huge hit, you know, $20 million.

Spider-Man, 240 and a million in a day. It started in, I think Bill Clinton gave a, gave a, the last, gave it all, gave it all to him. He sold him the farm. He deregulated media and just let them all buy each other up. And people are going to say like, well, how could you be for, like, how could you be against minimum wage, but then pro-regulation on this. But, you know, America has been fucking around in tech since the, with the patent system. That's like the original sin. Protecting the telecom industry with a patent and then just kind of regulating it forever. Yeah.

Was the original sin that I don't think we've recovered from. And maybe on purpose. I don't know. But what the hell was that? Okay. That's my problem. Well, that is quite a problem, Dick. Thank you.

And I hope John Breaks Bad News gets unbanned from TikTok. He will not. Probably not. Yeah. I mean, they banned Mr. Girl from there. Then again, he was rapping about being a pedophile. But, you know, again, it's in jest. It's funny.

Once they start banning comedy, that's when we're in trouble. No. No, you're in trouble at the very first one i was just trying to like segue i wasn't like trying to start a competent point all right dick well i got another problem for you okay this problem comes from a commenter on my youtube channel named jamal howard This problem comes from a commenter on my YouTube channel named Jamal Howard, who left me this wonderful comment on my YouTube video. He goes, I don't know why you felt the need to spoil Guardians of the Galaxy for those of us who hadn't yet seen the second one. I immediately removed the upvote I already given the video.

Just stick to the media we clicked for. So this man is upset that I have spoiled in the man is mentally deranged. Yes. In the midst of a one hour and five minute breakdown of a Star Wars movie where I expertly talk about the craft of storytelling and how certain stories get it right. Some don't you want to review like good movies again? You know,

you're really not. There's no culture anymore. No, in order to put money, in order to keep food on the table, I have to talk about Star Wars infinitely. Deal with it. Regardless, this man was very upset that I spoiled the five-year-old Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, despite the fact that my video opens with a spoiler warning yeah listing all the things that i will spoil and my problem dick are the spoiler nazis oh spoiler nazis spoiler nazis okay the guys who freak the fuck out when you get anywhere close to anything resembling a spoiler

yeah because they go oh my you can't tell me that in the next episode they're in a car now i don't oh my god what are you they posted a still online her hair's cut a different way now i know it's like guys shut up you're watching tv shows for children again what am i spoiling i'm not spoiling war and peace here i'm spoiling guardians of the galaxy volume two what happens in war and peace uh you know the russians and they lose of course they really they lose the war oh they lose the war yeah okay and then the peace comes have you read war and peace no i know one guy have you no i know exactly one person who has read war and peace because he said i'm just going to try it

Why would spoiling War and Peace Be your go to I don't know I was trying to think of something I'm not spoiling the sixth sense Now that was a shocker Well regardless I would think War and Peace

Reading it would still be worth it Like it's not at the end Oh shit they lost the war Oh it was Peace they went with As people bring up War and Peace, reading it would still be worth it. Like, it's not at the end. Oh, shit! They lost the war. That's the point. Oh, it was Peace they went with? Oh, okay. As people bring up... Spoil the Bible.

Spoil the Bible. Did you know he dies at the end? The world ends. Yeah, exactly. What's interesting, though, is that there have been studies that say spoilers don't necessarily affect your enjoyment of a story. Oh, yeah. And may actually make it better, because our brains are based on pattern recognition.

Oh, I see. Having information makes you feel smart. You ever have a conversation with somebody and you're like, wait, I already know about this. And you feel smart and content, you know? I hate that. But it must be real because people love it. Yeah. They'll sit there and even if you say, I know what you're talking about, they'll still

tell their story. I'm like, this must be learned behavior. It makes me want to fucking kill you. Well, a classic example is that Romo and Juliet starts off with a little, I don't know, poem or whatever the hell. Yeah. And he goes like, this is the story of two star-crossed lovers who will fucking die at the end. Can you believe it?

And you're like, oh my god. Well, now I gotta see the story and find out how they're gonna die. I don't even remember that. Well, yeah, that's how it opens up. I don't remember anything Romeo and Juliet. I remember the TV version that they made us watch in, like, high school. Yeah. And the Juliet

had huge tits. Ooh. And she was wearing, like, a nightie in one scene. That was fucking, uh... Was she a Capulet? Yeah, And the Juliet had huge tits. Ooh. And she was wearing like a nightie in one scene. Those fucking, uh... I remember that. Was she a Capulet? Yeah, the Capulets. Yeah. Yeah.

Fuck the Montagues. I hate those fucking guys. So you're saying you should spoil every movie. Well, I'm just saying, first of all, you don't got to get so serious about it. Look, I understand people like a little bit of surprise. That's fine. Writing out the, like, the blue guy died and the fucking guy... I'm spoiling it right now. Yondu dies. Sorry. Remember the blue guy died in the fucking garage i'm spoiling it right

now yondu dies sorry you're the blue guy from gardens of galaxy i think like if you didn't know what's happening in a movie time limit there's got to be a time limit on spoilers no no no i think if you're if you're if you can have a movie spoiled yeah i kind of think fuck you because you're dumb right did you were you watching the movie and you didn't know that this was where it was somebody you've seen a movie before right right you should have spoiled it what did you think was gonna happen in saving private ryan they were all gonna live yeah is that the way you thought it was gonna happen yeah that you know they're they're all gonna be in the graveyard that's what he's walking to go meet all of his

pals well i've always never i've never been like a huge spoiler like i'll try to avoid some spoilers but uh most of the time i'm like yeah well i kind of want to know what happens i'll read i'll read up on the thing even like a movie that's out i'm like what is this movie about i'll read like the plots and i was like oh that sounds interesting and i'm still interested in seeing the movie to see how it actually right plays out i mean i regret knowing more about the new nicholas cage movie yeah like i saw the very first teaser and i was in and then i saw the second trailer where the government's like we want you to take that guy down and i'm like oh no no no come on that's dumb right yeah it really depends but the point is you can't get like

there's some guys who are just just frothing at the mouth angry, and they're like, I can't believe you would... Listen, man, it's going to happen. Again, you're losing your mind because you know what's happening on Walking Dead. There's kids dying in the streets. In the ghetto right now, they're shooting at each other, killing each other, and you're worried about whether or not The Walking Dead has been spoiled for you. These guys, they just get so mad.

The crybabies, you would say. I have more comments from Jamal because I told him. I told Jamal, I said, well, it's kind of your job. At the beginning of the video, I put a spoiler warning. Yeah.

And he goes, well, I was out of the room at the time. I was thinking of doing like a mentally disturbed person of the week on my show. That would be good. Because I get so many people writing in a paragraph of why they're not listening anymore or why I need to pay them $50 for something.

I was thinking of starting to do... Because the mental illness on the internet has skyrocketed in the last two years. Well, one time I made a video on YouTube where remember when... I don't know if we're going to monotize for this. Remember thatid hogg kid who got shot in parkland david hogg didn't get shot whatever he was home oh yeah yeah it wasn't even all right well i'm not getting it all right wait a minute what do you mean you're not he wasn't even there he was sick wasn't he i don't

actually know he didn't get shot i wish regardless shut the fuck up there was people saying he was an actor paid by the government to be there which is not true stop making that face what you're making that i'm making my david hogg face you're making your well well anyway so i made that video we're asking questions if they weren't saying just asking questions asking questions if he was well i had a bunch of comments on that video all being like you're an idiot that kid's an actor whatever the fuck and then i did a video where everybody who left the craziest comments i just went to their pages to see what videos they posted and it was fucking hilarious one dude had a whole thing about how tom brady was like sacrificing kids to steal the the super bowl away from the chiefs or whatever they were playing at the time.

Yeah. I got to make another one of those videos. See that? Those people need, those people are getting pushed further away. Right. We need more media. That was the worst thing about YouTube's censorship is that when they were like, oh, you can't have flat earth videos.

We're going to hide them. I'm like, oh, those guys are hilarious. Yeah. I was having so much fun. Yeah. When they got rid of Alex Jones, they got rid of that guy talking about the Martian pedophile colonies where they kidnap kids

and bring them to Mars where can I go for the well cause maybe Mars isn't such a bad idea after all they need adrenochrome but the only this was the first time

I ever heard of adrenochrome which you know is the adrenalized blood of children but you can't just harvest the children's blood it has to be fear blood yeah

so there's adrenaline in it so they take them to Mars and scare the shit out of them and has to be fear blood yeah so there's adrenaline in it so they take them mars and scare the shit out of them and then harvest their fear blood they take them to mars and alex jones did his classic my favorite thing alex jones does is uh when he knows his guest is maybe a little too batshit insane he doesn't want to be on like record like agreeing with the guy he goes well i got some guys looking into that it's always we got some guys looking into that. It's always we got some guys looking into that. From Jamal, who I have told it is his job to be aware of spoilers. It's on you.

Turn your ears off if you're worried about. Dude, learn how movies work. Yeah, exactly. You should be able to predict what's happening in the movie. He says. Or you're an idiot. It's not my job. It's yours, literally, as a creator.

it it's not my job it's yours literally as a creator i hope you realize blind and dyslexic people use youtube sue too also some people me didn't even click on your video because it was auto played by youtube i wasn't even in the room when the video started if you as a creator can't figure out disabled people watch youtube and the audience hates spoilers and the algorithm blessed you with a view a like and a potential subscriber but you can't pull your head out your butt long enough to realize maybe i should include audible messages instead of antagonizing the disabled people in my comment section and move on to perfecting your craft he's right he's saying he's not even saying he's disabled no he's not i know that guy he's doing that he's saying well

what if there was a blind person who can't read your spoiler warning okay yeah but he's probably just like no legs no arms in the other room trying to brush his teeth with on like a a toothbrush stapled onto the wall and then he's got to flop back in and shut it off before you ruin Guardians 2. I'm sorry. Imagine how long it takes him to see one movie. That's probably why it's taken him so long to see Guardians 2. He doesn't need your fucking ass.

Apparently he doesn't have time to sit down and enjoy anything. He's just got fucking videos playing. But as UC San Diego psychology professor Nicholas Christenfeld has discovered, spoiling stories may even enhance people's enjoyment of them. They tested people, and the people they spoiled the story for surprisingly said they liked the story more. Oh, really?

Than people for whom the story was not spoiled. I'm going to do that. I'm going to dress up in a morph suit when I get better. Go to a movie theater and spoil shit. Every opening night, I'm going to run out and just shout. Remember when Dumbledore dies got spoiled? Yeah, I remember all the videos. That was so funny.

Snape kills Dumbledore. Oh, God. There's a video of people driving to bookstores where people are waiting outside and just yelling. Harry Potter or whatever. I remember there's one and they just go, Snape kills Dumbledore. And you hear one kid go, no! That was so funny.

Well, who gives a shit that Snape kills Donald? I haven't read all the books, but like... Yeah. What kind of spoiler is that? Who cares? Is anybody care about

Donald? I guess. It's just funny because they're all lined up. It would be a spoiler if Harry Potter dies in the middle of the fucking book. Somebody's got to die in the book.

Just saying. It's funny. It is funny. Anyway, guys, stop worrying about spoilers. Look, to a certain amount, I'll get annoyed if someone's like purposefully trying to spoil something for me. Yeah. I hear a spoiler by accident.

I go, eh. How purposeful? Well, I'll be like playing. I've been playing Elden Ring. And I'm like, guys, just don't tell me where to go or where the magic is so go so if you're doing twitch everyone should go and tell you where to go see but i think that's different than a story spoiler that's like a discovery spoiler i'm like i like just like searching around and finding shit okay it's like if you were hunting for gold and someone's like the gold's right there i would want that yeah but like you know i don't want them to just give me the gold right i mean that's i'm

going where the gold at if it was like i don't know it's like if you went to an escape room and someone told you like the the the the key the key to the safe is right there you'd go well that's kind of destroying we do these we do these stupid escape room games. Do you? No, they're like little boxes. Okay. And they're full of puzzles. That's cool. Like riddles. Yeah, yeah. I hate them.

She likes them. She likes them, so we do them. And there's, every riddle has like a set of hint cards, like three hints. Yeah. And the first two are always dog shit. And the third one is basically like salsa for you. Yeah. So we'll get through.

I mean, like three in a row is so demoralizing. I'll usually just rage quit if we have to do more than two of those. Yeah, two of the hints.

It's such a shitty feeling. Are they like the puzzle boxes? You have to like try to figure out how to open them or whatever? No, it's a whole story and little riddles like match the thing.

Okay. Sometimes you get a cut into the puzzle box. That sounds kind of gay. Hey, buddy. What do you got one arm? What else do you do? What am I doing over here? like match the thing sometimes you get a cut into the puzzle box that sounds kind of gay hey buddy what do you got one arm what else do you do what am I doing over here

some puzzle boxes with your girlfriend alright what do you got I can't escape now my problem my last problem is roadside death shrines

guys come on get over it you don't want to drive past a tree and see a picture of that Hispanic kid everyday I went to the drugstore yesterday somebody had put up there was a shooting down there

at the Rite Aid or whatever somebody had put up a big death shrine for the shooting I don't need this I don't need this shit every corner every corner in the backwoods or whatever some little cross and all

this crummy photo of some bunch of candles with jesus all over because i try to tell people about these and they're like i don't see these in my neighborhood really i feel in my whole life and i'm always like yeah buddy i'm i'm having a good day here no it kind of seems like you're accusing me of driving recklessly is what it seems like well yeah it does kind of seem like it's like you know slow down the life you save could be we got cemeteries and those are bad enough because they're dumb like why do i see it go to them i don't see them from the street most of the time we got homeless people that have to live on the pavement, and we got dead people that get a nice grassy field. Whatever.

I'm not going to talk everybody out of cemeteries, but a roadside impromptu cemetery that I'm not... Why would you want to go to the place they got hit by a car? That wasn't their happiest moment. First of all, we know this is a dangerous corner. You're distracting people. Oh, shit. Let me see the tits on that.

Oh, smash. Yeah, and then somebody's at the memorial right on the corner, and they get hit. I'm sure that's happened. And then what? What, do you leave it there forever? Just a bunch of litter? I think a big problem, yeah, is the longevity of the roadside memorial, where I go, that kid, I think that kid's been dead for like two years.

20. That guy's parents are dead now. Like, this kid's kids are dead. What his job is to take it down. There's no ownership of the memorial that doesn't say, if this has been here too long, call this number. You know, it's just there. It's up to you to take it down.

Right. I'm going to just go around and assume now. Like, all right, all right, come on. You should do that. Let's make a video where we just go around taking down roadside memorials. It's depressing. It's been too long.

I bet. You should do that. Let's make a video where we just go around taking down roadside memorials. It's been too long. Do you think we'd get in big trouble? We would lose our bank accounts if we just set up like fake roadside. No, no, no. Okay. That's the thing for this show. All right. Set up a fake roadside memorial. Do not do this to real ones.

Set up a fake one. Record it. Kick the shit out of it. Right? Go, that motherfucker owed me money. fake roadside memorial do not do this to real ones right set up a fake one record it kick the shit out of it right go that motherfucker owed me money fuck you shit because it's always like like drunk driving it's like we all have a you know just bad luck okay you don't need to make such a big deal about it i'm fine you ever see the ghost bikes When a bicyclist dies And they leave a white A bike painted white At the memorial This is what I'm The ghost bike

Horrible Yeah Good that a bicycler was killed Right Jesus Christ Does it need to be so big? Yeah And confusing?

Well they do They are very You could just put up This isn't the Oregon Trail Right You didn't lose them On some trek Of manifest destiny to go to the West. They went to the right aid to get a 40, and they came out at the wrong point in time,

and they got hit by a car. They got hit by an illegal immigrant, all right, who had been up for 48 hours trying to feed his... Right, working his $2.12 an hour job, which he negotiated for i mean it's a dick's uh no minimum wage it's it's crass yeah we don't keep it in the bedroom have to be a huge i feel like there should be like standard you know does it have to be a giant picture of the guy maybe like a nice little thumbnail photo and a plaque put it on the tree who is it for i don't know who's remember who why do you want everybody to know that a random person died here?

Right. I assume random people died everywhere. Yeah, there's probably no... What inch of this earth has not been stained with the blood of the innocent? Do you have to put that in your will? Like, with an organ donor card? Like, organ donor, but no roadside memorials. A sticker, like, don't do.

If I die, I want a roadside memorial in a sticker like don't do if i die i want a roadside memorial in a very perplexing uh place so people go how the fuck did that happen you know like where like the top of like a cliff and it's like uh it was tragically hit by a car on this spot i want how did a car get up here the crosswalk yeah on the sidewalk in front of target that's where i would want my roadside memorial one of those red balls outside where I would want my roadside memorial. One of those red balls outside of Target. Make that my memorial that I was squashed in front of the Target. You got to go.

Everyone's all taking it seriously. Yeah. Here we go. Here's a nice grave. Come on. Come on, man. That's the thing is that they don't let it die. They freshen it up with like new flowers. Every year.

Oh, every year. My parents live on a windy road every year oh boy and then they build up over time it's just like it's like a hard mario level what do you do if two people died on the same street maker like do they got to share the memorial it's like a starbucks one across the street from the other exactly you have competing memorials right next to each other can't we just get rid of all of this hoarding of corpses? Have an app? Have an app.

Yeah. It should be like a Pokemon Go where you walk around. Like a zombie catcher game? Yeah, exactly. And a 3D model of the guy shows up and he goes, My name was Martin and I got hit by a four-runner. Drunk driver. Yeah, drunk driver.

He was drinking this at the time. I was a pedophile, though. That was a fun app. An app that tracks all the deaths in your neighborhood where they happened yeah you know you go oh a guy died in that house so we can see it when i'm in the mood to see it otherwise it's a form of rape death walker death walker uh 2000 okay you walk around your neighborhood and you see ghosts of people used and you can customize the ghost of your family member and they can tell you little things about themselves.

Yeah, lies. Do you want to listen to my band camp that I was setting up before I died? I was a terrible rapper. I had really nothing going on. That would be fun. It would be better than this shitty... You know what? To fix this, we've got to give people a better way to go about it.

Because they're not going to stop hammering these little stakes in the side of the road. Give them a digital solution, I think. Then we can make a subscription, make a little money out of it. And gamify it. Funeral stuff, $99 a month. No expense is too much. For $50 extra, we'll make your guy the head of the zombie militia and then players can fight them with guns. You can catch them. You can fight them.

Come after you. You can train them. You can train your dead kid. Can't we get public obituaries and set this up and just be like, populate our towns with the real dead people? Yeah. That's a good idea. That's a very good idea. I would play this game. It's no raid.

It's no raid Shadow Legends. Which has more champions than any game alright that's my problem go to biggestproblem.show to vote them up I'll put them up after the show

it'll take a little longer than normal because I got one hand yes do vote on the problems and oh wait did we hit 1000 patrons

on patreon.com let's see slash biggest problem let me see we're at 998 we're currently at 1002 patrons thank you thank you everyone wow what a successful show if i was any sort of uh comedian trying to make in los angeles i would give my left arm to try and be a part of something like this rather than have to slave away maybe dancing as some sort of animatronic character on twitch or

whatever else yeah yeah why would you pass up on an opportunity like this dick okay your problems were uh living in the ghetto okay and spoiler nazis nazis all Alright my problems are Roadside Death shrines And media consolidation Consolidation Here's some voicemails Then we'll do super chats Hey Dick

Hey Vito Biggest problem in the universe Is self destructive behavior I don't mean like Any of that like Self improvement shit Or anything What I mean is just like

Seeing people Online like Bitching and moaning You know Over how the world Is to blame for their problems mean it's just like seeing people online like bitching and moaning at you know over how the world's deploying for their problems but it's just their own self-destructive behavior yes there's this guy i keep around fucking hilarious that i've known since college not a friend or anything just a guy i keep around to laugh at what is that okay you know he always like frees out over covid shit and um you know he's like really fat he's starting to go to the gym it's great but he's like gym post there's like a pet like

about to fucking sob and he's like oh i just went to the gym it was so tough and oh i'm glad hopefully i didn't catch covid and everything and then this guy goes right back to like five more months of just staying inside and eating and everything it's just fucking hilarious to me it's like dude you don't have to put yourself down you don't have to live in fear yeah go work out have fun stop pointing it just putting it on line and crying and everything like yeah control your fucking life i don't understand people like that i mean it's i understand it it's a performative victimhood because they want people to come out of the woodwork and go you're so great you're trying so hard i believe in you some people need that no they don't see you're playing into it they

don't need it they want it they want it they desire it because they're black they're emotional black holes you're gonna say because they're black and I was going to go well hold on. Not that. Okay. Hey guys. I'm glad that Dick broke his right arm because now he finally knows what us left handers are going through.

Drinking out of a coffee mug where you can't read what it says. Opening the fridge with the hand on the one side so you can't I what it says. Yeah. Opening the fridge with the hand on the one side so you can't... I should have brought that in. Rotating your entire body. I'll bring it in next week.

Next week. The list goes on. You know, hopefully we see a little more sympathy for us left-handers now. Nope. You bring in some left-handed problems, like golfing. Yeah.

No, my girlfriend's left-handed, so you're never going to see sympathy for me on that. Your lefty's not golf? Well, everything's backwards. Brian, you can bat left-handed in baseball.

But it's harder. Is it? I think so. I don't know what the batting average is. I would have to see what the difference is between a lefty batting average.

Maybe it's better. Maybe you're superpowered. Well, I don't know if it's better, but I thought there was always like the famous... Because you're closer to first base. Yeah, well, aren't there the famous lefty batters or something? Is that interesting? Probably bunt a lot more. Left-handed pitchers are tough. Yeah? They fuck

everybody up. They're harder to hit. Oh, so it's good to have a left-handed pitcher because they don't know what's happening. Yeah, if they're good. That's fascinating. I like reading about super specialized boxing too yeah is an advantage i like super specialized sports uh things like the longs you ever read about long snappers no the guy who their only job in football is that they can snap the ball like 40 yards let's just like throw it between their legs with the force of the fucking dying sun oh for like really specific plays and they take the field like once a season

and you're like dude i want to be a long snapper that's awesome you just sit on the bench all season you're part of the team and then they go it's time to long snap it and you're like my time to shine and then if you fuck it up you immediately get booted off the team because you had one job. Laces out. Okay, maybe one more. All right. This is about Bing. You know, I never thought Vito was a pedophile.

Up until the point he said he uses Bing to search for porn. What is it? And won't tell us what he searches for. It's suspicious. It's suspicious. Yeah. Because you don't say what you're searching for. I don't want to beat out or fuck yourself. Because you don't say what you're searching for. I don't want to be kink-shamed.

Don't you got to set an example? Honestly, it depends on the day. I like all sorts of pornography. That's more suspicious, what you've just said. Is it? Yeah. Well, none of it involves children. How's that?

That's the most suspicious thing you could have said. If somebody says, what kind of porn do you like? And you said, not children, that's the most suspicious thing you could say. Give him a wink. Not kids. Okay, here we go. Some more stock stuff from my favorite guy. Wall Street insider, Jim Cramer protege, big trader veto. Jim Cramer.

You talk about you're having trouble sleeping, and I watched the stream, and there you are drinking a Monster or drinking a Coke. Is that true? It's hard to watch, dude. Which stream? Another thing is you said that you're fasting,

yet you post on Twitter about ordering a Big Mac at Burger King. So I really want to see you lose weight, bro. I think you got potential. I think you're a handsome guy. But I really want to see you last to 50 years old. Yeah, that's not going to happen. So lose weight, Vito.

Go fuck yourself. What are you drinking, Monsters, on your stream at night? No, not at night. No, I don't think so. When do you cut off the caffeine? Well, I don't cut off the caffeine because caffeine doesn't break a fast. Well, it makes you not sleep though. When do you cut off caffeine in your life?

I don't know. At a certain point, I guess. Okay. Regardless. Do you cut it off? Will you have a soda at midnight if you crave one? Yeah. Okay.

But in regards to the fasting thing, as I said, it's intermittent fasting. So there's a window of time. You can eat a Big Mac. I'm not eating Big Macs, though. I don't know where he saw me eating a Big Mac, but I'll get like a chicken. This guy's all over you. Yeah, I guess he's following my whole fucking life. He's got fucking booty bandits sneaking out. The whole point is you have a six or eight hour window to eat, you know, within reason.

But if you want to get McDonald's during that six hours, the whole point is that as long as you spend the next 12, 16 hours not eating. Why don't you try not eating caffeine after like 4 p.m.? Maybe I will. That might help you out. All right, let's do some super chats. That might be true. Super chats from the fans who we love greatly thank you so much

for all of that well everybody who got our patreon over a thousand patrons i'm blown away yeah the success of the yeah i'm very surprised and uh you know what you can do to make the show even better tell your friends uh post on facebook say i've been listening to this great podcast because we're trying to get the word out we We're going to get some good guests, too. We've got at least one good guest lined up. If I saw you get in a fight with Chrissy Mayer's booker on Twitter. I thought you said you had a problem with her, so I thought it was fair game. I only was making fun of her because she insulted your comedy.

You know it's not just her booker. You know it's her husband, right? That's even worse. Yeah, it's way worse. But tell her to come on and we'll bury the hatchet. Did you send her a message? No.

Yeah, I didn't think it was a good idea, but you seemed to think it was. I was probably on a fistful of Norcos when I said that. All right, well, we won't have Chrissy Mare on because her husband said I'm a fake comedian. I think we just get in too many fights with people to have any... I'm fighting with people's producers you're fighting with producers and then we have

certain friends who seem to fight with everybody on the internet okay uh we'll see what happens it's the one above the 15th from trio doug dick's thoughts can i read this one yeah of course yeah what are your thoughts on ralph flagging flamenco oh no um i only saw well i saw people saying that he did and i didn't believe it at first because everybody tells me every time somebody tells me something ralph didn't think i i don't believe you and it usually turns out not to be true uh but apparently he did flag flamenco i don't know the specifics of it um the only thing i know is that ralph leaned into it extremely hard yeah which is what i said monday and matt should have done right so i guess so to be clear i make a joke on twitter all right you know i go oh look what these guys are doing on youtube i don't know i

don't think you bring in the problem of tattletales. I think it's a problem. And get everybody to call me a false flagging piece of shit. Ralph does it. He goes, well, he should have just leaned into it a little more. I mean, yeah, but you don't want to be a bad guy. Ralph wants to be a bad guy. Like, I don't.

I'm saying you shouldn't do it. I shouldn't do it because I am a nice guy. And I didn't do it. I'm saying nobody. I didn't flag I shouldn't do it because I am a nice guy. I didn't do it. I'm saying nobody. I still say I didn't flag anybody. This Ralph has actually flagged somebody. No one's allowed to call me a flagger anymore if they're a Ralph fan. I'm saying don't flag.

I didn't flag. I maintain that, but I do apologize for my stupid tweet. And it's just funny that later on everybody's flagging everybody now. Leave me out of this, I guess. I don't know. Don't flag. I think I'll even give my input. I think Ralph should just let this guy go.

He's making it worse, I think. But what do you mean worse? What is worse? If he just wants to be the heel and the internet villain, sure. Have fun with it, I guess. He seems to be. But I would say just do your show. Don't worry about what Flamenco's doing.

Yeah. It comes off bitter, I think. Oh, you think so? It feels like he's bitter at his former, what, co-host. I don't even know what Flamenco did for him. There's so many things being lobbed all around all the time. Right. Like, rape shit well i could also see ralph

being like you know i think he might even blame flamenco for him getting swatted i have no idea these guys they're swatting me and nobody gives it it's very easy nobody seems to care they're like ralph got swatted and shit where i'm like that's really fucked up yeah and he gets no sympathy in your case it's you're just angry at Alex Jones. It's very easy to say, yeah, you fucked up there. I have no idea what's going on with Ralph and his former co-hosts. I just think everybody, it's like you said, why don't we all just stop fighting? We should all, well, that's not possible.

We need the forgiveness special for everybody. We're going to do the veto forgiveness special, the Ralph forgiveness special, where we all just live and let live. I will extend the olive branch to Chrissy Mayer's stupid husband and all those geeks and gamers losers. I am willing to bury the hatchet.

Keegon Postal for two says, yeah! Holla at you, boy. I gets money. Thank you, Kegon. Kyle Baxter for five says nothing. Thank you, Kyle. at you, boy. I gets money. Thank you, Kagon. Kyle Baxter for five says nothing. Thank you, Kyle. Thank you, Kyle. Alexandre Bazin for five says when is Sean coming on?

He wanted to come on. We should bring him on at some point. We gotta figure out. He's a busy guy, though. He works. I feel bad imposing on that gentleman. Me too. He's a hard-working guy. Kyle Baxter. We need somebody else, not Sean. Yeah, like a third wheel maybe on discord or something maybe we set up a maybe we got to figure out a goal for the show get a for third wheel

well we that we need that okay we need them though yeah you think maybe a little bit we could try it well if we break in every once in a while yes then we won't i don't know we'll figure it out people like the show tell us in the comments do you want a third wheel and if you have a suggestion tell us uh me 04120 says is flagging every or ever okay do you consider everything you skip this guy oh i'm sorry callbacks for five here's some money you parentheses you guys are funny also i'm dumb oh did he send us is that the guy who sent money without a message oh yeah i guess more money to get a message thank you no refunds no refunds me 04120 says is flying ever okay do you consider everything to be for you it's it's i mean if they're if they're taking

your content and not commenting on it then no they're just reposting it i mean the the bad the unfortunate uh reality is is that it's bad because we know the platforms are worthless. We know the platforms don't handle it responsibly. Like, in a normal world, flagging would be fine because it would be like illegal shit that no one wants to see but it's used um it's weaponized to just inflict petty grievances and damage on people you don't like so that's why it's bad but it's well i was gonna say you would be within your rights i think legally and morally for these guys who take your stream and just re-upload it without any commentary to take it down yeah but it's not worth the headache and all the hand wringing and oh dick censoring us it's like no you just

reposted his show if you want to watch it go watch it on his channel i mean but why waste your time it's not worth the fight bike hunter for two it's just such a it's such a stupid argument anyway melbourne road rage video still not up way to. That's true! Is there a video of it? Yeah. How is it not up? Who has it? Me? Because I wasn't there. Oh, okay. It's not up. Oh, were those the guys who just had one themselves and hung out?

I appeared on a screen. Oh, that's pretty nice of you. Like the Wizard of Oz. That's fun. Yeah. Good for you. Look at you and your fans. That was because I fucked up the whole trip. Yeah. They wouldn't let me in to do the actual show, so everybody flew out there for nothing.

Oh, fuck. Oh, yeah. We didn't know each other then, did we? No. That was a long time. Yeah, that was a bad time. It was right. So there's a lot going on.

They wouldn't let you into Australia. Yeah, my application to get an entertainment visa was put in the same day as the christchurch shooting jesus christ something that usually takes like a couple days was like a huge rigmarole they just no they never approved anybody or just me yeah they didn't approve for like uh they didn't approve me for weeks and then like a month or two after you got approved finally yeah because you have to do you have to get a venue and someone to vouch for you in australia to even start the visa process yeah but it was done well they must have they must have understood that it's their country's fault for you know being so hostile

to muslims i should have bled with that. It's on them. You go, this is your fault. You should have done more for the Muslim communities. Mike Hunt says biggest problem is people who say GIF instead of GIF except he spelled it the same way both times, so I have no idea which way he's going with it. That's the joke. Biggest problem is people

who say GIF instead of GIF. It's pronounced GIF not GIF. Learn how to say GIF. I'm tired of it being pronounced GIF. Yeah. Which could alternately be read you were supposed to you were supposed to fill it in with your mind you did it right i know you did it right correctly yeah pop quiz says i love youtube b nope you didn't get it uh cosmic dragon for two says those bikes were stolen to keep medicare alive oh that's good every time you steal a ghost bike somebody gets an extra year of life waggle rage for 50 american dollars wow waggle pray for my plumber uncle i guess i have to read this whole one his wife is leaving him with the kids because she found in his truck his flashlight he made out of simple plumbing items.

Wow. Now, despite his genius, he's lost his whole legacy. Still, we can't help but call him Uncle Tube Affair. That's close enough. I suck, Hawks. All right. Tube Affair. 50 bucks.

That's worth it. He had an affair with simple plumbing items, Dick. These are getting more and more creative. Tell you what, for 50 bucks, I'll read anything. Okay, here. With Monday and Matt, we were trying to convince him that he was doing bad. With you,

we were trying to convince you that you were doing bad. With Ralph, he's explicitly doing... He knows that he's doing bad. He's explicitly harming someone. So what do you want me to say so is it it's better it's worse if it's done out of ignorance than malicious rage

well that's what drives people crazy is that you won't admit that what you're doing is bad but Ralph said yeah fuck him I flagged him I'll do it again I'll do it again

he said he was in a very bad place at the time that's not the same and I apologize whatever JayhawkDX45 says I'm driving to Best Buy He said he was in a very bad place at the time. That's not the same. And I apologize. Whatever. Jay Hawk DX for five says, I'm driving to Best Buy to get my power supply fixed. And it's looking like the store is to be fair.

I mean, and I know that you guys just asked these fucking questions to start fights. Like I know that these super chats are just as start fucking fights, which is funny. And I appreciate that. I appreciate the, the audience trying to get us in trouble with everyone else. Mike Hunt for 10 says there's always a pandemic or a 20-year war

or a federal reserve that's about to wipe out all life on this planet the only way people can get on with their lives is they do not know about it says agent k is that a quote from something men in black men and oh of course john riffs for 10 in romeo and and Juliet. Juliet is canonically 13. And Romeo is 17. Was Shakespeare a groomer or was he inspired by anime? Fuck off. He's a groomer. He's grooming them all. Mike Hunt for two.

I never used Aerith in Final Fantasy VII because of spoilers. Oh, so you knew. You knew it was going to happen. Yeah, why waste a level up her stats if she's going to die? Yeah. White Bandit for 10. People get mad when i tell them masaka kills erin stops the run okay for those of you who are listening these are

gonna be spoilers for that stupid attack on titan show aren't you watching attack on titan somebody is on watch i mean it's such trash nonsense uh it takes so i don't know if like the japanese just don't get subtext or they like hearing the same thing over and over again, but like every single decision a character makes in an anime every character has to say some version of but if you don't trust us Then how will we ever get along as a team? Yes, but in just in just the case that you don't trust us then we'll never get along as a team

All I know is I would really like to get along as a team if you could trust us like god damn dude what's wrong with you people they go by quicker anyway wet bandit i'm not going to spoil attack on titan for all the listeners even though i just told them people get mad when i say that mikasa kills erin stops the rumbling and the peace efforts of the surviving ed leons to protect the remaining 20 of the world fails and the cycle of war repeats itself okay fuck you fuck you everyone riku 3220 says for five the biggest problem is rising streaming prices to be tv is doing it for certain shows and to be cute they're calling them to be fairs i suck i hate the fucking super chat people all right refresh it let me see one more

50 bucks i was 50 that was good but you did it for two bucks that's weak i just feel like everybody's demanding them so much i might as well and me says veto for five says veto said the thing for my chat and dick didn't play the sound bit can you not hear the sound bit we're doing it right now uh oh do you consider everything to be fair use oh no he got me and we didn't realize it we took that as a serious question to be fair use that's good oh good everyone's pissed about. Push the button. We all miss it.

And we fucked it up. Well, guys, what a great show. Yeah. Fantastic. And again, don't, please vote at biggestproblem.show. 420. 420, something's happening? Something's happening at 420.

Are you going to tell me it or are you going to wait to find out? I'm going to tell you. All right, you're going to tell me. And don't forget, join the Patreon. Get the bonus episodes at patreon.com slash biggestproblem. All right, you're going to tell me. And don't forget, join the Patreon. Get the bonus episodes at patreon.com slash biggest problem. All right, bye, everybody. Bye-bye.