The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 40

Episode Date: May 14, 2022

Fake Neurodivergence, Intellectual Property Laws, Bluetooth, 3D Technology

I fucking swear man Why are you so far Oh I know why Did you uh Cause Pawnee was in She a big ol' lady With big ol' bitties Everybody wants to see

She's not a big ol' lady Everyone wants to see She's a Well Perfectly sized lady Small I should've man I couldn't believe

You're wearing a green shirt I should've got a Mario And a Luigi hat When I went to Universal We gotta get you Bragging about Taking vacations Oh whatever It's not that big a deal Uh Let me shift over here A little bit There you go I went to Universal. We got to get you bragging about taking vacations. Oh, whatever.

It's not that big a deal. Let me shift over here a little bit. There you go. How was Universal? Terrible. You know what? My girlfriend went and she said that she saw fully grown men running around in wizarding robes pretending to cast spells on each other's cocks.

I was like, I don't think they were. Have you been to the Harry Potter land in Universal? I haven't been to Harry Potter land. Okay, so you haven't been to it. Well, but it's been there a while now, right? Isn't it like at least five years old? You tell me. You're the Harry Potter.

I'm the Potterhead. Yeah, you're the Potterhead. I was told I had to try the butter beer. Is it beer? No. It's not beer. It's like a butterscotch. Yeah, it sucked.

I don't know why my buddy was like, dude, butter beers. It's just like sugar garbage. Terrible. How exciting could a beverage be? Are you telling me Code Red is back? I'm like, oh, maybe I'll check it out. I could see myself being like this is refreshing and delightful but it was really just a sugary uh

sugary mess hogwarts hogwarts was it is uh i fucking swear to god man there used to be so many technical issues with my show yeah that i'd have this like nervous train wreck energy going into every psychotic like we're 15 minutes late we gotta move this fucking thing well now they know that uh sometimes their shows have a couple technical hiccups at the front the fight the entire financial industry can ban me from using their platform in seconds yes me stonetoss anybody all gone if i make a new twitter account boom but you renew his subscription well we don't know your money's not in your pro tools subscription is sir As anybody. Gone. If I make a new Twitter account, boom. But you renew a subscription. Well, we don't know.

We don't know where your Pro Tools subscription is, sir. Good. I'm glad I brought the problem that I'm bringing in today in. How many Pro Tools subscriptions did we just buy trying to make Pro Tools work before starting the show? Well, I like to imagine it's coming out of a community fund. Yeah, my bank account is the community fund. Good. That's where everybody orders their donuts from. Amazon Fresh comes out of that. All my yogurts come out of there.

My pizzas come out of there for everybody. All my Airbnbs. All right. Let's do a show, Dick. Let's do it. I don't even know where the theme song is anymore. Oh, and I fucked up. I forgot to fix the theme song. Fix the theme song again anymore Oh and I fucked up I forgot to fix the theme song

Oh this is gonna be great Yeah I was gonna do it and then I didn't But you did do the thank yous I did do the other thing And I thought you weren't and then you sent it the last minute And then I sent it to you I almost forgot but I did it At patreon.com slash biggest problem

You can be a plus member A plus member and you will be recognized because i put in the effort to recognize you because i love you yeah biggest problem in the universe welcome to the biggest problem in the Universe! Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe! The only show that ranks every problem in the universe. From overpriced eggs to not enough JPEGs. Oh!

I'm your host Dick Madison. Joining me as always is Vito Gisualdi. You nailed it. And then it fades. And then it fades. And then it fades right there. Perfect fade. Instead of just cutting off. Perfect fade. Use your imagination.

Perfect intro to a perfect show. And then it's out. People love that intro. I'm doing all right. Voltacore did that. I'm doing as well as I can be with these markets, I tell you what. Here's my first problem all right not suicide not committing suicide every day here's my problem the color the color red i have been

seeing color every day of my life for the past several weeks stock boys yeah uh just pick another color i know what it means i know what not green is just use white okay we're all gonna be poor forever i don't want to talk about it i don't know stock no stock talk at all ever what is that well i played the stock tip veto sound effect but it didn't fucking work veto all tip veto. Alright. Here's my stock tip. Kill yourself. That's the only way to beat the market. I have an ETF that deals in rope. Yeah. What do you think about that? That's all we got.

That's all we got. I guess this just isn't working anymore. I look forward to hearing stock tip veto some day. Maybe this one. You gotta figure out which speaker it goes to. I know that it's the right one. I have to hear it now. Okay. We'll just play it normally then, yeah.

Stock tip veto. Day trader veto. Always with the hot stock tips. Yeah. Are you feeling like that or are you feeling like this? I'm a retard. Yeah, that's the one. That's the one, right? I'm definitely feeling like a retard. Yeah, that's the one. That's the one, right? I'm definitely feeling like a retard.

Well. At least we got this show. If we do it for another 10 years, maybe I'll make half my money back. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. No, we'll be okay. We'll be okay.

Look, just because you, the listener, just because you lost money in the stock market doesn't mean you can pull out of Patreon either. No, no, no, no, no, no. Because we're counting on that money. You don't, that's. If anything, you should double. If anything, your money's safer with us. Yeah.

Because then we lose it and we look dumb. Well, let's be clear. The hot stock tips are coming, but they're only going to go out to patrons. So you're going to have to come back for stock tip veto. Stock tip veto. Day trader veto. All of the hot stock tips. All the plus members are gonna be

getting my hot stock picks of the week. And they're all going to fucking zero. At least I didn't have any Luna. Okay. Cash register solicitations. Wow! You nailed that one I nailed that one

I was not expecting I thought I would get a bunch of Oh, just suck it up But no, we all know it's wrong Leave me alone That is really annoying And you have to buy food Yeah

Biden will make sure that you can't buy food soon But until he does He's going to give us stamps to buy Other stamps and eat You're going to eat stamps Eat the dirt And then you eat some seeds and then you grow the food in your stomach dick this the stamps by the bugs which make more bugs which make bug

loaf which you can your family will then ingest it's the future i hope they call it that i did bring in a comment about that problem go ahead okay go ahead as many people said but mr magic owl said i can't believe you didn't hit on the worst part of cash register donations, tax breaks. All these customers are doing is subsidizing

the corporation's taxes that are lowered at the direct expense of the customer pitching in. I have to mention, that's actually not true. That's a common misconception. Lowering taxes?

So people assume that the money you donate at the register, there's a misconception that the company gets to claim that as a tax break as if they made the donation. Which would be fantastic if that was true

for them, but no. They'd have to count it as income anyway. Yeah. How the fuck? Write-offs, Jerry. Do you know how a write-off works? No. But they're the ones, but they do. And they're the ones writing them off. So you can donate without worrying

about them claiming it as their own donation. I did want to clear that up because we had a lot of those comments. Really? Tax experts? That's a very common misconception that the company... Now the companies do... People just have no fucking idea how taxes work at all. So many people think that if you make

more than a certain amount and your bracket goes up, that's bad because it gets all of your income so far. I have to make sure I don't make an extra $100 because then my bracket will change. No, that's not how that works. It's only that. Why would it work like you're saying? I need to stop making money this year is a thing that people have actually said

so that my tax bracket doesn't change. Okay. Lack of bodily integrity. That should have won, but it didn't because mine was funnier. And you voted for that, so you're being punished. Pregnant hooker walks into a euthanasia clinic. Give you that one?

Go on. She says, you guys, right? Pregnant hooker walks into a euthanasia clinic and orders a shot of heroin. Okay. And the bartender says, that'll be 400 bucks. She's like, okay. He goes, you know,

we don't get many pregnant hookers in here at the euthanasia clinic. She goes, well, at these prices, I'm not surprised. I made that joke up. Yeah, you did. I did. Yeah. Because it's got all the elements of

bodily autonomy. Abortion, suicide, drugs, and prostitution. Nailed it. Overpriced breakfasts. Surprisingly, not negative. I thought everyone was going to rip on me for that one But people know

People know They're ripping on Shawnees Can you believe that? Oh, Shawnees was in the negative They were very upset with that problem They're jealous Probably because they got so angry It is jealousy

Yeah Well, lucky for all those people There will be a new Shawnees mid It's also a problem you yourself created So you deserve to be punished for it I guess that's true Yeah Okay, I got some comments here Useless Scott says It's also a problem you yourself created, so you deserve to be punished for it. I guess that's true. Yeah. Okay, I got some comments here.

Useless Scott says, Vito talking about Ashley Babbitt on the bonus episode Yes. is the only time I've ever been offended in my life. I didn't think someone could be so shallow and disgusting. Then he started making gun noises, and it became the funniest thing Vito has ever said. What do you think about that?

I saw another comment on the bonus episode, which was, you're lucky this Ashley Babbitt bit is on a bonus episode, so not everyone can hear the horrible things you're saying about Ashley Babbitt. I mean, that's, well, somebody also said, they kind of framed it in a way I could understand. They saying about Ashley Babbitt. Well, somebody also said they kind of framed it in a way I could understand. They said, Ashley Babbitt,

yet another bitch that didn't listen. And I'm like, hmm, I didn't consider that. She's giving a clear and direct warning with multiple visual cues. By a man! By a man! Didn't listen. And that was on our bonus.

The biggest problem in Star Wars bonus episode available for our Patreon listeners. So if you want to listen to me, I don't know. Completely upset a bunch of our right wing people in the audience with my wild take on. They don't care about. I don't know. She was aborted. Yeah, she got aborted by a cop. Just like George Floyd. Oh, my God. Oh, wait. No, they would care about that. They would care about that. She was aborted. Yeah, she got aborted by a cop. Just like George Floyd.

Oh, my God. Oh, wait, no. They would care about that. They would care about that. That's too far. What if they ripped her mask off? Did you see that in the footage that got released? What?

Of her? Yeah, of the storming the Capitol. Yeah. After she got shot and killed. Like, everybody's seen that. Her bleeding out on, like, the cop that was already there. He's like, what the fuck? And everybody's like, oh, my God, right? They cut it right there. Because what they didn't release on the cop that was already there. He's like, what the fuck? And everybody's like, oh my God, right?

They cut it right there. Because what they didn't release is the cop bends over, and it turns out it was a rubber mask, and it's George Floyd underneath. Oh no. They pulled it out. Oh no. And it was actually George Floyd. Now all us liberals really got egg on our faces.

If it was a black lady, it would have been interesting, the dynamics. A man. George Floyd was a man. Well, would have been interesting. The dynamics. A man. George Floyd was a man. Well, I'm just saying yeah, you know. He Buffalo Billed. He did a Buffalo Bill. Who did a Buffalo Bill? George Floyd. And dressed up as Ashley Bill. Okay. This is a complex

scenario we're weaving in. Vito is slowly starting to realize the consequences of inflation and all this importing and whatever is hiking up the prices. Remember, you voted for this. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. The Fed was doing that under Trump.

Biden just continued doing it. So everyone's responsible. Why is this? Why is this? And how you voted for it? We all voted for it. Because you got to blame somebody. No matter who you voted for, inflation was happening

like crazy. Incarnadine says all charities are basically advertising firms that advertise themselves. Most charities seem to be scams. I don't know what good charities there are.

Newman. The Newman's Own Lemonade. That's not a charity though. You're just buying Newman. The Newman's Own Lemonade. That's not a charity, though. You're just buying lemonade. No, it's a charity. It goes to the hole-in-the-wall gang. You don't know that? But you're buying lemonade.

Yeah, so the retarded kids get a camp. Don't they deserve a camp? That's a charity. As long as they're not staffing movie theaters, I'm fine with whatever you're doing to them. Just keep them away from the ticket thing at the movie theater. A whole camp and then all summer we don't

got to deal with them and their parents get to live a normal life for a small period of time. That's a good charity. For like a full two weeks those parents get to pretend that they live in normalcy. And then their retarded kid comes back. It's still not a charity though

how's it not a charity? it's helping the kids do a thing you are not doing the charity Paul Newman is you're buying lemonade sure, fair enough but when I make the decision to buy Paul Newman's lemonade

because I go I want to help the retarded kids instead of the other lemonade doesn't that count? no because you said retarded kids instead of the other eliminated. Doesn't that count? No. Okay. Because you said retarded. Okay. That's all I got.

That's all I've got to say. Well, Dick. It's your turn. Maybe it's time for me to take it away. Yeah. Dick, there's a problem these days. A problem I would call self-medical diagnoses. Like trans?

I'll call it TikTok diagnosis because it's happening through TikTok. Dick, have you heard of this? Kind of. Yeah. Yeah. Teens, according to the news, are using TikTok videos to diagnose themselves with mental health disorders. Yeah. Ranging from common to very rare.

This trend rose among teens about a year ago, as many teens were isolated due to the pandemic. So when you leave kids alone, their brains start wandering off in stupid directions, and they go on TikTok, and they go, I've always thought I was a special and unique individual. Right. I must have autism or ADHD.

I probably have borderline personality disorder, schizophrenia, disaffected associative identity disorder. Yeah, you got schizophrenia, buddy. Yeah. That's why you just self-diagnosed with schizophrenia. And what's worse about it is not only are they self-diagnosing themselves based on videos they saw on tiktok of other kids who wear dark clothing and weird fucking stupid shit in their hair but they're proud of being

neurodivergent have you seen this talk where these kids have you seen these profiles where the kids go i'm proudly autistic you know why what is what is there to be proud of exactly i'm proudly schizophrenic i'm neuro divergent can't be proudly schizophrenic they are that's a serious condition that you can fix you don't understand you need to fix in the rush to be special and unique which has always been a problem people go oh i'm a little different i'm a little now we've got to the point where having a mental illness is like yeah because i'm i'm. It's like, no, you're defective. Something's fucking wrong with your head.

But you're not. And you're also not. You're just an attention whore and a kid. A dumb kid who has no idea what they're talking about and has decided to diagnose themselves with ADHD. So you can be part of a weird online clique of other people making videos about, oh, every day with my autism, you know.

Well, their moms do it too. Yeah. Their moms are at home saying, I got OCD and I got a sexism or there's a wage gap. They're talking nonsense. I just don't know what's going on with these kids. Like when I was a kid, you know, I didn't sit around going like, I don't know.

I don't even know what head headspace they're in yeah are they just so detached from the world that they need you know what it is it's harry potter syndrome okay i have this theory about why harry potter is the worst piece of children's media to ever be celebrated okay because most children's media is grounded in some form of like human reality like the lion the witch and the wardrobe like the kids eventually leave Narnia and come back to the real world, right? But don't they go back? They go back to Narnia.

They go back and forth, whatever. The point is, they never go, I'm no longer human, you know? Like Peter Pan. What about Animorphs? You go to Peter Pan's world and you come back. I didn't read fucking Animorphs because I'm not a pervert, okay?

But Harryter was always about no the ideal situation would be to find out that you're not actually human at all that you are a separate race of magical wizard far advanced beyond your human peers and then you leave for the wizard world harry potter never returns to the world of humanity he always remains a special higher cast of magic wielding individual he doesn't even have friends that are like normal no he doesn't have any human friends whatsoever the book literally tells you human beings are basically useless scum and you should aspire to ascend beyond them and be a special, unique individual. And I think that's what's happening with this autism, ADHD

self-diagnosis, is these kids want to... They innately hate humanity so much because the media they consume has taught them to. There's a lot of good reasons to hate humanity. Sure, fine. But they want to separate themselves from

the normal humans. Okay. And they do so by going, well, I'm neurodivergent. I'm autistic. I'm basically an evolved secondary form of the human condition. Yeah. Which is wrong. I'm a woman.

Right. They're just. How far are you taking this? It's becoming, and it's a real problem Thousands of teenagers are doing this That they're just going online And they're just declaring I have OCD

I have autism I don't know They'll just get a wheelchair for fun I've got too big a penis disorder Cross-eyed or whatever else you wake up every day and you gotta keep up this side yeah trying to figure it out well is one uh i can't make myself cross-eyed i couldn't do it no i can't do it oh why i've never tried that sounds like a made-up medical inability to make yourself to make yourself a cross-eyed? Yeah. Well, I'm neurodivergent, Dick.

I'm more important than regular human beings. I guess there's no other way to stand out, though. Like, you can't be good. You can't be good at something and for people to say, wow, you're awesome at running. Yeah. That's cool. Now you have to be hindered like Jesus.

You have to be a martyr in some way. Like, oh, oh man my struggles my regular my I'm so accomplished that just being regular regular life yeah is a struggle for me therefore I'm already achieving just by living because I'm an autistic slime kin because I'm an autistic slime pedophile well these kids you can imagine how hard that is for me to be a go to school with you guys and here I am a pedophile they bring they bring that up but the kids will go listen i'm so special in advance because i have adhd i'm so beyond you guys also i need extra time to take tests so give me that they want advantages when they're claiming smart that the disadvantage is

already an advantage they're doubled down they're getting two for one they're going i'm advantage my autism allows me to think around problems in certain special ways. Also, I need accommodation, or you're a bigot. To take this math test that doesn't matter at all. That just exists for some reason. As one medical professional brings up, this self-diagnosis can have some serious problems. In a recent, psychiatrist Dr. Adelo Adelo,

that's a hell of a name, noted a striking rise in physical and verbal tics in teen girls. We're seeing an explosion of Tourette's-like tics in our unit, and every case is linked

with these kids watching countless TikTok videos about people with Tourette's syndrome. So they're all getting Tourette's? Yes! And she's saying, these kids about people with Tourette's Syndrome. So they're all getting Tourette's? Yes! And she's saying these kids don't have Tourette's but they're not exactly pretending either. They're literally giving

themselves a weird... What do you mean they're not pretending? Yes they are! But if you convince yourself so badly that you have Tourette's, you do develop what could be a real fucking tic somehow. No! It's not real! I don't know! It's just pretending to have Tourette's! you do develop what could be a real fucking tic somehow. No, it's not real. I don't know. It's just pretending to have Tourette's. You don't suddenly get

Tourette's. If you believe the lie long enough, does it not become truth? No. It's bullshit. Always. It's always bullshit. Could you trick yourself into having real Tourette's and just going, fuck, fuck, you know? You could, maybe. South Park also did this problem. Yeah, did they? Well, no, no, no. Cartman gave himself Tourette's. He actually did. We're going to. South Park also did this problem. Yeah, did they?

Well, no, no, no. Cartman gave himself to it. He actually did. We're going to have South Park. So what's the problem then? The problem is teenage self-diagnosis. Because these kids are fucking developing fake tics. Yeah. As another example.

So what? It's better than playing with fidget spinners or whatever they're doing. Fuck them. One guy says, you know, if you're self-diagnosing yourself, you're like, oh, I must have ADHD because, you know, I feel anxious all the time. You're not going to go get yourself actually diagnosed and find out you might have hyperthyroidism or a heart flutter or something. Fuck them, kids.

The real problem is that it's going to destroy our culture, okay? What culture? A culture of iron man and obama well it's like you said is that you know these kids are just so desperate to stand out because it used to be you could just wear like something stupid you know again this is goth erasure all over again yeah now they got to go leaps and bounds you can't just put on something stupid or like have sex with everybody in your class real yeah like all right you're wearing you know a weird necklace being gay was real being the gay kid in school you go i'm a little different you know that's cool blowing the football team whatever else now you

gotta cut off your fucking arm to stand out there's no way to be an individual anymore because we've raised the bar so high that you have to develop mental illnesses in order to consider yourself a complete and unique human being. But they're not real. And I know they're not real. But I guarantee one of these kids... I mean, they're not real at all. Tourette's isn't real. Have you seen those guys on TV? Like... That's not real. I get...

I got Tourette's. I think there's a little something there. There's a little something. You know, they got a click, they got a snap. And they all have like a different bit that they're doing. Yeah. Like the Tourette's people. Like, I'm a snap something. Yeah, right. You know, they got a click, they got a snap. And they all have like a different bit that they're doing. Yeah. Like the Tourette's people.

Like, I'm a snap guy. I snap all the time. Okay, bud. He's just having fun. Try so fucking hard. He's just having fun. We got to stop glamorizing. Why do we glamorize

a disability or any sort of, you know, it's this victimhood culture. I hate to sound like a trite because we started with not calling fat women fat yeah that was the beginning we really need to bully people more oh well who are you talking to i've been calling everybody ironclad on calling fat women fat for my entire life. And now it's finally,

now we have a woman running what is information in the world, basically. In the free world, a woman, Marcy Darcy, is basically... Which one is this?

The ministry of information. The transgender lady? I forgot about that one. I'm talking about the woman, not the fat woman, the skinny woman that's running the Ministry of Information. Yeah, she's going to tell you you're healthy at any size. Well, the other one says you're healthy at any size. Yeah. The lady with the Adam's apple.

I don't know how she got that. God. We need to bully. Here's the problem. We need to convince kids to bully each other. God. We need to bully. Here's the problem. We need to convince kids to bully each other. The kids are afraid to bully. I don't want them messing it up, all right? No, no, no.

They were good at it for the longest time. I'm not going to be a boomer and say, you guys got to fix this. I'll fix it. All right. I'll go down with the ship. I'll take care of all this. Yeah. You just got to loosen the leash a little bit

I don't know I think peer pressure Is so powerful that we really gotta Gotta lean on some of these Kids man football teams need to be Going around do you mean that literally Shoving kids in lockers do I mean what literally Lean on the kids yeah lean on them Shove on them punch on them

Why not Anything to make them realize they're not the special and unique snowflakes they desire to be. But what are you going to tell them? Tell them you don't have autism. You're just fucking stupid and no one likes you. Then they're going to have something else. Like, oh, yeah, I don't have, but I'm like autismo divergent. Okay, well, you're also obnoxious and you're not allowed to come to our houses and play Halo anymore.

It's all of this shit. The Myers-Briggs personality test. Yeah. All of this shit adding up. These fake personalities. They're all the modern day horoscopes. And fake medical histories. Yeah. People are just shoving as hard as they can.

Just stop enabling it. When someone tells you they're proudly autistic, go, why? What can you do? What is better about your day? If a bright light hits you, you gotta rub your ear? Like, why? What can you do? What is better about your day? If a bright light hits you, you got to rub your ear? Like what? What's the benefit? How are you going to make friends though?

Like how do you open with a woman? Yeah. Right? What do you say? Like, hi, nice dress. She's going to think you're a creep. You got to go like, hi, I have a disability where I don't think I'm in the wrong time. I actually think it's 1722.

She's going to think that's quirky and fun. You're going to go on a fucking time... You're going to be the time traveler's wife. Oh, you're a pirate type guy at that point. Whatever. 1622. I don't know. Girls are into that quirky bullshit. Yeah. Came from the 16th century just to

love you. Yeah. Someday I will disappear into the nether and you will be forced to raise my child alone. I'm a time and a fuck machine. Okay. Was that your problem? My problem is TikTok self-diagnoses. Self-diagnoses.

Just self-diagnoses. Self-diagnoses. Terrible, terrible. These kids. Was it around before our parents? Because I remember our parents having all kinds of like, like television psychologists would promote this idea that you can learn a little bit about psychology

and whatever was cool. Like, is your husband a sex addict? Are you like, are you addicted to calories? Yeah, there's always been some amount of that. I guess it's just this, now that mental illness is being weirdly glorified. You know what it went from? It went from the cure.

It went from deadly cures, like drinking radioactive substances to cure fatigue. Yeah. That was good. That was good? Well, then we said, well, let's stop doing that. So they stopped doing that, and then people just started making up these fake illnesses that they just take safe drugs for. Because the problem is the radium, like the radio drinking mercury,

cured all the people with fake diseases and killed them. Yeah. It was a cure of sorts. Yeah, now it's like, I got autism. I'm like, why don't you try some of this fucking... Flax American. Yeah, why don't you try some uh this fucking flax americane yeah why don't you try some of this uh mercury you want to give them mercury to yeah yeah how else do you i think well maybe maybe we do make the repercussions yeah well maybe they'll stop faking it if they know the medicine kills you maybe like maybe i don't actually have autism okay uh is it my turn now yeah it's your turn that's a good problem are you self-diagnosed

with anything um no you said that like as a question i don't know what would you be if you could be well i think i i think I convinced a doctor to give me a... What do you call it? Like ADHD medication at one point. But I don't know. ADHD? No, I think I just wanted the medication. What's the medication?

What do they give you? A dildo up your ass? No, not Adderall. There's a new one. Yeah, a dildo up your ass. No, they give you... Yeah, they give you like Ritalin type shit, you know? They give you Adderall?

Yeah, and then you focus real hard. I gotta don't think i think i don't know if i need it honestly but like what does it even mean 80s like yeah i have trouble it means like you can't put stuff away and you start stuff you don't finish it isn't that every human drink a lot on the weekend okay so we all have it's hard for you to work out i just think i just think they answer emails i think redolent should just be over the counter. Cause it's just like, yes, we live in a psychopathic society that requires you to manage 5 million

different things just to stay alive. Like, of course I need Ritalin or whatever the fuck it is. You need to manage this. Hey, live. I got, I got two YouTube channels.

I got this podcast. I got a show. I'm doing, I got a day job. I got a million projects. Gotta pay the bills. I gotta have this hat. I gotta have a new fun hat. I know. And I'm working on

a comic book available at superkiller.org where you can sign up for the mailing list. There's so much going on. I know. I know that I fucked something up with the audio. Let me fix it real fast. Okay. Alright. I looking at uh people's super chats and it really is fun when a super chat seems so nice and then i keep reading it i realize it's a trick don't look at the super chats i can't read one i can't read one early i get like i'm filling air you're gonna mess them up i'm filling air okay something sounds

something sounds off with my audio i think test one does anybody feel like dick's audio sounds weird check check check one check check check i don't know something about it is annoying well maybe the chat can tell you if it sounds weird. Yeah, does the audio sound okay? One guy was complaining last week. I think last week somebody said something was peaking. I'll cut this out and re-upload a little. I fucked up last week by not uploading the new

video. Well, okay. If anybody says... I got a book I'm working on. I'm dressing as a banana on the weekends. So many projects, guys. Okay, here's my problem. I'm dressing as a banana on the weekends. So many projects, guys. Okay, here's my problem. I swear to God there's a delay. I don't know if I'm... Am I

imagining it? Maybe. I think it sounds fine. It says Jay Gonzalez. Kyle Baxter says I'll get on my phone. Check, check, check, check, check. Maybe I'm just finally losing it. You can probably run it through a filter at the end if there's a problem yeah okay here's my problem um

intellectual property i'm talking ip all of it all of mickey mickey mouse mickey mouse monkey copyrights, Mickey copyrights. Mickey copyrights. Vito. You don't like copyright law. Why do we need, why are we? See, I'm going to argue with you on this one. I know, but I know.

That's why I'm already on my heels. You're already on your toes on your heels. Look, look, look, look, look. Okay. So Mickey Mouse and Disney has basically single-handedly perverted and ruined copyright law. It used to be you only had 28 years. And then as Mickey kept coming into the period where he would be public use, Disney would pay the government to extend it.

So then in 28 it became 50, 75, and And now it's up to 90 70 or something So it's why Mickey Is still It's illegal To use Mickey fucking mouse For anything Like without

You know Only they can Only Disney can do it Right And so then that applies To everything now Right Iron Man

Everything Yeah you can't use Any of those characters You can't use you can't use any of those characters. You can't use any of this shit. Sure, sure. And then you've got people patenting basic little inventions and procedures so that they can sue companies for infringing on something

that they have to have in any way. You know, you're familiar with patent trolls? Will they come up with some rinky-dink little delivery i came up with online shopping carts so every online shopping place owns right yeah and this is it's like a cost of doing business now yeah none of it's forwarding our culture or innovation or uh increasing the quality of life for human beings. And I think that it's explicitly harming us as a culture and society. I'm saying do away with... We've got seeds that are... The DNA of the seeds is patented, right?

Yes. Can't grow these seeds without a license. Without explicit permission. And this is good? somehow it seems to me very confusing situation yeah not for the farmers well well i guess i gotta just go pay the licensing fee for this fucking bread what it's in the air well if you thought weed was dumb this is a plant that goes in the ground and it's illegal because i pulled it over imaginary border yeah okay this is a fucking seed and i gotta pay those

guys for a seed that grows on the fucking ground they they made the seed they came up with the technology the entire internet yeah hinges on this concept of copyright and intellectual property such that you can bring anyone you want down forever by frivolously filing a DMCA strike that has no punishment. Like, it's illegal to file. Oh, so DMCA strikes are bad.

I'm saying copyright and intellectual property is like the original sin of everything. It's why everything sucks. It's why all of our... It's why everything sucks.

It's even why women are retarded. Okay, what would you... So if copyright law went away, what is this glorious future you envision? Mickey pornography. That's the only benefit? You can get that now! You want really professional grade Mickey pornography? that's all that's the only benefit you can get that now you have to go like like really

professional grade mickey pornography you have to make up like mocky mouse hey everybody look it's my it's not the same yeah exactly i'm all right how come jesus doesn't have a copyright anyone could talk about jesus because he's a real person and he's a bajillion years old. No. He's just a guy that the church made up. That's their mascot. He was like a real guy. Who knows if he had powers. I don't think so.

No, we all know that he did not have powers. Historians believe. He did not have powers. Might have had a power. Maybe he had not great powers. He had the power to move you. That's it. The power to move you. That's it. The power to move you.

Wait, wait. Let me just say my thesis. Sure. Property, right? Property. Rights exist? Yes. If I'm using that property and you come take it, I can't use it anymore.

I'm using it, okay? I'm making fucking cows or something on it. It's your property. It's your property. It's my property. Paying, you know, whatever. Paying taxes to the government so they can make. If I have an idea, like write a song or a paper or make a Mickey Mouse or something. Yeah.

If you're using it, I could still use it. It doesn't. Okay. What are you protecting? Well, it diminishes the market for that thing. If let's say I... No, well, let's say I write a really good song, and then I want to sell, you know, albums. But then Universal, or one of these major music corporations, comes along,

and they just get their big star to record the song herself and sell it. They do that. Yeah, but then they pay a royalty to the guy who owns the copyright on the song but not very much that's why music regardless they got to pay him something and he can say no but he can say no i don't want to give katie perry my song uh there's compulsory royalties like you have to people can cover it and then they pay you a compulsory royalty do you have to let someone cover your song on an album? Yeah.

I thought that was like for bars or like live performances only. Oh, I don't know. I don't know. I think it, I think there's a compulsory world, but I'm still saying the bulk of your, the bulk of the money you make comes from the writing the song,

the work. And then it comes for the musicians for doing the performances. So like when Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird famously came up with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, a famous little indie comic, you think it would have been cool if, like, a cartoon company said, that would make a cool cartoon and made it and gave them nothing. Yeah, fuck them.

Well, it's not worth all this, like, Mickey Mouse has got to be extended for... Mickey Mouse is, like, immortal and owned by the Disney company until the end of fucking time? I think that the protections go both ways and that small creators benefit greatly from copyright protection on their works. Now you can say that maybe the terms are too long and then, you know, Mickey Mouse has been long enough that he should belong to the public consciousness or something. But I wouldn't get rid of it entirely. I just told you why.

To protect the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? To protect any creator of any type. If you make something... Small creators aren't getting protected? I don't want someone to use my creations to... Like what? Like Superkiller. The comic book currently available at superkiller the comic book available at

superkiller.org I don't want to put that comic out and then somebody else takes it and fucks it up this is what bothers me about it though it's like the reason

I think Americans support it is because they all have this lottery mentality like they're gonna be the next big creator some will no

or they won't but at least they'll know that they own a little thing and it's their thing yeah and nobody else can just take it from them a little thing. And it's their thing. Yeah. And nobody else can just take it from them for funsies. But it's for the... But you can still make it.

Like, if you're the guy making super killers, you could make a better super killer than anybody else. But then there would be no... Then all culture would be commodified in the hands of the big makers, even more so than now. I'm sorry? There would be no... More so than now?

Yes! How is that how is that possible you want there to be any sort of independent anything you can't say we're going to get rid of copyright because then you're just completely fine at least now we're at like a point in time where it seems like the independent media is is gaining a foothold against this corporate owned bullshit where is that happening it's happening right now in the hearts and minds of the comic book industry a bunch of people are doing into these stuff uh i think we're gonna start seeing a lot of independent movies again uh you know we're gonna start seeing independent movies again shapiro's putting that dumb bitch in the fucking movie

whatever i can't wait for that look i'm not saying it's all gonna be good it was fucking uh independent video games are better than ever and you know what yeah but it's one I can't wait for Gina Carano's fucking independent video games are better than ever and you know what? Yeah, but it's one game. EA can't come in and then say, okay, we're going to take that and just make it our own thing. Sure they can. They can buy the rights or the company, but they can't just copy it verbatim or

you know, they can't steal the characters and the plot. There's protections. Yeah, like if somebody I want artists to have protections why whenever you see one of those things and it's like an artist still make more stuff why is it why do we need why do we need this system yeah it's like okay okay so you have copyright right right now that you have the copyright no one else can no one else can make money off your thing so you've got total

control of it and you're set you set it up on youtube to make money with advertising no but since it's all based around these intellectual property behemoths it's like all content flows up you can only make money on youtube through advertisements directed to the top of the intellectual property food chain, which is talking about Star Wars, talking about their fucking movies, instead of just going like, you know what? I'm going to make Ghostbusters.

I'm going to make a fucking Ghostbusters. Okay, but that's going to be the other part of my argument, is that I don't understand. I'm Peter Venkman. Look at me. You can just make your own Ghostbusters and Star Wars. Just make it different. Why? Call it something else.

Come up with your own. I think it spurns creativity to tell people. Now, I hate seeing these people go, I made a Star Wars fan film. I wasted two years of my life, and me and all my buddies dressed up like Jedi. And I'm like, you could have invested all that time and effort into making something new. But instead, you made fucking Star Wars. The the audience I already know what Star Wars is yeah make another Star Wars now you gotta go get permission from Disney who fucks everything up like what is the I don't want more do you want more Star Wars do you want infinite Star Wars

more fan fiction than we have no no a good one I want to cut these people's legs off all right and end it okay guys yes i'm tired of all these guys famously there's a bunch of guys i made a video one time where i was like guys stop making fake pokemon games because every time nintendo comes in and desists you so you think that's good yes yes why because stop wasting your fucking time making but there's already a million pokemon games just make something new but pokemon is your own thing that you own but if it's too close to pokemon you get sued no you won't get sued you they don't own the rights the idea of little monsters running around there's a million why would they not fight it if if we if we had no copyright we would have no

digimon we would have no digimon sucks digimon suck, but at least it's different. But it needed to be different because of the fucking copyright. They could have just made hey, we're doing Pokemon 2. Check it out. No, no, no, no, no. We have fucking Water Charizard. No, because then it's funny. Just make your own

shit. How would you feel if tomorrow Joe Rogan announced I'm starting a new podcast called The Biggest Problem in the Universe, and it's me and my buddies and we bring in two problems every week, and no one else has ever done this, and we're going to do it, and nobody can say

bullshit. He's calling it The Biggest Problem in the Universe. How would I feel? Yeah. Annoyed. Annoyed. Okay. Would you feel that you wish there was some sort of governmental protection? No, then I would go do the Joe Rogan show. Yeah. Annoyed? Annoyed. Okay. Would you feel that you wish there was some sort of governmental protection? No, then I would go do the Joe Rogan show. Okay. You should start a show right now

and call it the Joe Rogan experience. I would put googly eyes on my penis and put it in front of a little webcam and put a string for a mouth and make him talk. Oh, wow. That's so interesting. What if a gorilla fought DMT? Oh, man.

Jamie, pull that up. Jamie, pull that one up. That's so interesting. I think copyright protections have... If they're going to steal my stuff, I could steal so much stuff. You just want everyone to steal everything. Well, it's like...

Why have property at that point? How about we just have... Because property, it removes my ability to use my property that's what i said intellectual property you can still use their property just go to their house if they're using your fucking house well go use the property makes sense because i someone has to use it i'm using it so that's why yeah there's property rights intellectual property you can still use it you can still make windows diminished marketplace for

diminished marketplace this is like this it sounds like you've been trained by a a big company superman movies come out in a year why would you see any of them why would i see one well some people do see one though and there's still a market for it but if there's a bajillion you know competing alternative is jesus suffering because there's just so many jesus's out there is the vatican haven't wars been fought over the diminishment of the jesus's every time jesus splits in a two there's a giant war where they kill each other to figure out which jesus touchers are the best ones i would rather okay so yes yes there has been has been that. Every holy war has been over the splitting of Jesus' copyright

law, okay? I would rather fight to the death over Ghostbusters than Jesus. They tried to have Islam try to spin off Jesus and look what happened. We got a million years of fucking crusades and shit. So that's what happens when you get rid of copyright law.

Wouldn't you like the Harry Potter fans To all kill each other Like we're doing All gay Harry Potter Like you motherfuckers But you can Just There are You know

Like that What do you call it Twilight became Fifty Shades of Grey You know What? There's no vampires in that Yeah but it was based on

You didn't know that? Twilight's based on Fifty Shades of Grey Was originally Twilight fan fiction And then she just Kind of changed the names around. See, it would have been better with vampires.

No, it wouldn't have been better. It's better that it's its own stupid thing, and they're both terrible regardless. Okay. But I'm just saying, you as the creator have the ability to use the smallest amount of your brain and go, instead of calling it Pokemon, I'll call it Super Monster Time. It just sucks, though. It doesn't suck. It might be better. you don't know it

might be better so then go with that if you think it's better but well this forces you to make it different and better so you look it forces you to use your brain and not just copy thomas edison has the patent for the light alexander graham bell excuse me wait who did the phone okay versus westinghouse the other guy right they, versus Westinghouse, the other guy, right? They each go, Westinghouse misses the patent on that by like 40 minutes. Yeah. He shows up to the patent office. Also, his phonograph was weirdly racist, so they didn't want to accept it.

Is that true? Yeah. What do you mean, weirdly racist? Well, because what's his name? Alexander Graham Bell had like, hello, hello, you know, like recorded on a disc. And his was just like, look at all these fucking N-words out here.

I didn't know that. I don't know if you can patent that. Yeah. Imagine if someone could patent the N-word. Well, they would... Trademark it. Yeah. Now you can't use it anymore.

Imagine if you got sued every time you used it. That's the one we traded now. That's what you want. That's the one I want. So, Westinghouse shows up To the patent office Fucked up some paperwork Or something

Then Alexander Graham Bell Shows up Gets a patent for The entire We use one patent dispute And all copyright Has to go out the window Because of that

It's a pretty big invention Patents are a separate thing We're talking about patents It's a pretty big invention It's a whole different Fucking thing than copyright Not really It's intellectual property

It's property That is not exclusive to one owner. It's property that can be used no matter what. If you have it and I use it, you're not... It's an idea. Yeah. Your usage of it is not lessened by mine. Should I not be rewarded for the fruits of my labor, dick? It doesn't matter.

For all the time I spent screaming into a cone trying to make it do something. Go for it. You have, you have, I mean, you have, you have it. You invented it. You should be the first one out there with it. You've got to jump on everybody, right? Unless it's just some fucking tweak. Some song.

Oh, like we really need to reward somebody for writing a song about sticking their dicks and stuff. Like, oh my God, that guy wrote a song about blowing satan like he really needs to be rewarded for a million like this guy fucking country chestnuts over here wrote a song about drinking whiskey and and beating up whores we need really need to protect his right to monetize this intellectual problem well you can't have just mickey mouse you can't just bring up examples you don't like and say, well, copyright sucks. What is good?

I want to know what, because I want to see empirically what is the proof that it drives any innovation at all and I don't think it exists. I looked for it and all I could see is people like, well, we have it because we need an arrangement with the creator. And it's like, yeah, I understand the fucking meme that you keep saying but i need to see it proved that as protections went up inventions went up in a way that is not also clocked by technology do you know what i'm saying

has there been anything better created in the last since disney started expending extending the fucking copyright has it gotten? I don't think so. Do you own any trademarks, Dick? No. Okay. Well, then at least you're living your truth. I have copyrights. Oh, you have copyrights.

Everything you make is copyrighted. Well, why don't you release those copyrights? So the Japanese hentai pornography on intellectual property, you're against that then? That's just going to happen regardless. But they could sell it there. So it exists. You're saying the world would be better off if there was no kind

There is no legal protection for hentai pornography. Yeah, you can't sell that in the United States. You also can't sell it in Japan. You can sell it, but not legally. There's no legal precedent

that says you're allowed to create derivative erotic works. The companies just ignore it. I don't think that's true. I do think that's true. It's just a permissive culture where they go, yeah, we're not going to

crack down on it. So it shouldn't exist. So the law shouldn't exist. Yeah, it's within the rights holders if they want to prosecute it. Some rights holders think they benefit from allowing it to happen. Who benefits the most from this? Big companies.

Microsoft with all the software. Google with all their bullshit. I think it goes both ways. Disney, Marvel, all this horse shit. I can point at all these small creators who graded something from nothing. If we didn't give them protections, they would have been ripped apart by the system. All right, whatever. Intellectual property. Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird

would have been watching that Turtles TV show and movie franchise. But what if they made this any good after that? Why do they have to make more than one thing? What is that? Because you don't just make if you made something good and then you get paid for it. You stop being good. Logically, if you think the law

is good, they should have made a whole bunch of other good things, but they didn't. So then what the fuck was the point of the reward? Kevin Eastman bought Heavy Metal Magazine and ran it into the ground, so he did that. He tried. Set up a publishing company. It just didn't go that well.

That is not good. That does not get credit. And then they made a turtle with boobs, and they famously split. You got gotta watch the Documentary about the guys Who made turtles It's great

Okay That's my problem Intellectual problem I have a soft spot From those guys Cause same hometown Uh Dick

I went to a Amusement park Okay I went to Universal Studios Uh Hollywood Hollywood Okay And in this park Are a number of attractions I went to Universal Studios Hollywood.

Hollywood. Okay. And in this park are a number of attractions, which I did not enjoy. They made me upset. They made my head hurt. They gave me a splitting migraine. Oh. And I know why.

Do you know why? Menopause. Menopause. My problem, Dick, is 3d technology. It's fucking terrible. Oh, like on TV. Yes. Yeah.

It's so fucking bad. How did we ever get tricked into being like, Hey, 3d movies are back in a big way. Avatar. You're going to love it. I remember seeing avatar. I didn't see it the whole time I was in the theater.

I'm like, Oh my God, god i'm gonna fucking die okay not only is it dark the glass is dark and everything the 3d fucking sucks if you're a guy like me already has glasses i'm wearing a pair of glasses over my other glasses that don't fucking work so i don't even know if i'm seeing it right and my head is just fucking splitting. I go to Universal. Half these fucking rides, they're like, time to put on your 3D glasses. And I'm like, maybe it won't suck this time. And I get out of fucking Megatron and Opticon and Bumblebee screaming at me. And I'm just like, oh, why did anyone?

And then I go on Jurassic Park. That's 3D2? No. That has real fucking animatronic dinosaurs coming out of shit. I'm like, this is just obviously better on every level. Why did you at any point say, how did you not test it and go, wow, this fucking sucks. Let's never use it again. I don't know.

There was like, I don't know how long it was, like five year period of time yeah they're like no it's good now and i'm like no it's not it's never gonna be good it's a horrible i've only seen one 3d movie the green hornet yeah what a fucking nightmare so bad halfway through i'm like dipping the things down yeah kind of looking i had yeah i ended up watching avatar where I'm just like double vision. I just took the glasses off and I'm like, I just, I can't process this. And what's worse is they're double. I think it's coming back. Because of Avatar 2.

Because Avatar 2 is coming. And James Cameron has said, we wanted our return to Pandora to be something really special. Every shot was designed for the biggest screen the highest resolution and the most immersive 3d available we've set out once again to push the limits of what cinema can do you know no james you fucked us you could that stupid avatar movie made so much money that we had to endure all these fucking you would go to the theater and you'd be like can i do you have any like non-3dings? And they're like, we're only doing 3D because we can charge an extra $10

for it because it's special. Get in there. Slap it up, you pig. Slap it up, you piece of shit. I forget how many 3D movies I tried before I finally said, just never again. I'm not doing it. I didn't even need to see one. I fucking hate this. But I had forgotten because they went away. The 3D movies,

they finally stopped doing it. Captain EO was the only good 3D movie ever made. Yeah, but that was the classic 3D, though, with the red and blue, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that was fine because it was, like, gimmicky. No, no, it was polarized, I think. Was it? They had that technology at the time of Captain EO?

I don't know. They had that technology in, like, the fucking turn of the century. Then why'd they wait for fucking, what's his name, to start? Because IMAX screens made it available? I don't know. I don't know. They had that technology in like the fucking turn of the century. Then why'd they wait for fucking, what's his name? Because IMAX screens made it available? I don't know. I don't know. The cameras. No, I think it was the cheapness of the film.

Yeah. The filming it. But it always existed. Well, they're saying the problem, I tried to figure out what it is that makes it, or at least gives me a fucking headache, is that when our eyes see an approaching object with you know our eyes turn inwards you know you start going cross-eyed because the thing's getting closer to you yeah but this is creating the illusion of a thing coming closer so your eyes have to deal with your hardwired inclination to focus inward and then focus back out it's like this illusion of a thing

coming towards you so your eyes are like I gotta focus in. But it's like no it's still a screen back there and you're like oh I guess I gotta focus out. Your eyes have no fucking idea where to go. Here's something coming at me right now. Insanity. Oh my god. Yeah for those of you watching at home with your 3D glasses right now. How exciting

was that for you? One of the funniest things I've ever it was Eastbound and Down like season 2 and they're in Mexico, and that idiot's talking about a 3D TV, and Danny Bryant says, oh, you like 3D, do you? Well, here's a burrito coming at you, and just throws it at his face. Throws a full burrito at his face. I'm like, oh, thank God that that guy feels that way about 3D. I just...

And also, like, what did it add? Because the 3D is always... It's a gimmick. It's not even like, oh, my add because the 3d is always it's a gimmick it's not even like like oh my god the cinema and the magic it's like no like his fucking hand is coming out all right his head's popping out a little bit it's not like immersive no like it's still just it looks like kind of a cutout like oh they're over there it looks like fucking shit it looks so bad you can like turn around and see like hey look check that out like that would be cool that's like vr is cool yeah the idea of it is cool like when i was on the

studio tour and they're like oh king kong's coming at you in a dinosaur i'm like dick yeah and i'm like wow if this actually like was 3d that would be awesome but instead it's just a blurry headache fucking inducing dark mess i hate it It's it's insane how bad it is I can't believe they made 3d TVs as long as they did I dated a girl who is a 3d TV. No, she was in charge of programming for a 3d network Oh my god, they have that. Yeah, and I was making fun of her a lot. I was like what? I hate 3d like why are you doing this? It's horrible. The one thing I want to try. Yeah, that's kind of the big problem.

Like, no one wants to talk about it. Everyone hates it. You just want to get home and check out. Like, you don't want to be fucking sitting there with goggles. Whoa! And then what do you say? And then what do you say? Hold on. I'm going to take my glasses off. TV is supposed to be kind of a passive. You put it on experience and you like tune out.

Yeah. Oh my god, shit's of a passive. You put it on experience and you tune out. Not, oh my god, shit's flying at me. Holy fucking lord. It's Chandler's List in 3D. It also feels like now that we have virtual reality helmets, which is kind of okay, like, why are we making an Avatar 2 with the

3D technology? Clearly the future is virtual reality movies or some shit, so stop. Oh, doesn't Avatar just all about the stupid 3D anyway? Ihyology. Clearly the future is virtual reality movies or some shit. So stop. Oh, doesn't Avatar just all about the stupid 3D anyway? I don't know why. I don't know. I didn't hear any funny lines from it. I didn't see any cool scenes from it.

It seemed like just a bunch of retards got duped into seeing it because of 3D. Yeah. I guess when they go to the tree and like all the sparkle lights are everywhere. Maybe that looked cool. I don't fucking know. In a good movie, you hear quotes from it. You hear like speed. You remember the name of the characters.

Yeah, I remember when the bus hit that baby carriage and it was full of cans. People tell you shit. Avatar, I was like, I heard nothing. I remember when those helicopters are kind of 3D or whatever. I still, I can't. Unobtainium is the only thing. Unobtainium. And they called it that.

Yeah. Okay. You got to get it from the blue people. Sounds like you morons got rooked for $10. I mean, I'm wondering, there must be some people out there who like it, but I don't think I've ever met anybody who said, yeah, I love those 3D movies. And the chicks have no, the alien chicks have no tits. No, not even.

I don't even know if they breastfeed their young. What's the point of the 3D then? I don't know if they have teats at all. Those tits are flying around in my face. They have fucking, you can jam your brainstem into your kid. Maybe that's how you feed your kid. That's all I remember is that I was like, this is barbaric. Jam your stem into your kid?

That's what you remember? You can find an animal on the planet and take your brain stem out and hijack an animal. And I'm like, there's all sorts of complicated questions of consent there. Yeah. That's so fucking dumb. It's really dumb. So you're telling me you don't want people to just make like Avatar movies? And fuck it up?

Yeah. Well, no. I want, if anything, I'm glad copyright exists because otherwise for the past 10 years, we would have had people making fucking Avatar movies. Thank God James Cameron took so long to make a fucking sequel to this shit. Okay. But look, so like comic book artists, right? Let's take Frank Miller.

Okay. If Frank Miller did a Batman, right? Yes. The Killing Joke. No. Which one did he do? He did The Dark Knight Returns. The Killing Joke? No. Which one did he do? He did The Dark Knight Returns. The Dark Knight Returns.

Okay. And then... The Killing Joke was by Alan Moore. And you know both of those, okay? Yes. So there's more Batman comics, but they're not by those guys. Yeah. Right?

Sure. They don't care. But if those guys said, hey, I'm doing another Batman, you'd go, ooh, I gotta get this one, right? Maybe. I'd take a look. You'd take take a look you'd be interested in it right my point is that the that the the guys the creators even though they didn't create the batman they still draw they still draw the money because you know what to expect from those guys it's not like if they could do Batman all day on their own and it would still be

those guys' talent. And the other guys, Batman could be making shitty Batmans all over the place and they will and you could just ignore it. But you'll still be able

to figure out which is the good one? That's what you're saying? Because that one's made by Frank Miller or fucking Alan West, whatever he was. But what if some new guy,

you know, no, this is stupid. Why is it stupid? It would make better content. No, because there would be so many Batmans showing up. Yes, just because you know those guys are good. What if a new guy shows up is good, but he's got to compete with 500 other Batmans. You already have to, you know how many fucking music, you know how many songs are being generated every day?

I don't even want this guy to make Batman. We have enough Batman. That's another thing. You're making the argument that we could have so many more good Batmans. One or two. No, we already have too much Batman. We need less Batman. Nah, we need more. Dude,

right now the big thing is that DC Comics doesn't know how to market any of their characters. So all the top DC books are like Batman, Batman and Catwoman, Batgirl. They're like, where's Superman? Where's Aquaman? They're like, oh, we don't sell any of those comics. Because they own all the IP, so they just have time to burn. They can just

sit on it. No, they just make Batman, and they will just keep making Batman, and this prevents, thank God, a billion more. There's already Batman fan comics, Batman fan fiction. I don't know how we got back on your stupid fucking topic, but there's too much fucking Batman already. I don't need more Batman. I need to go, oh, Alan moore's making 100 more batmans no thankfully alan moore moved on to making other

fucking shit to make it weird pedophile comics and that's fine because he's a weird british man do you ever hear about lost girls by alan moore no who took them uh alan Moore? Yeah, Alan Moore took them. The girls? He made an erotic comic book about Wendy from Peter Pan. As a kid? I think from Alice. Well, they're all talking about, oh, when I was 14, I fucked the shit out of Peter Pan, talking about their sexual experiences. Peter Pan's like 100 years old, though. I mean, he's at least 50.

Yeah, that's true. He's a 50-year-old boy. But he never grew up, Dick. Yeah, but he kind of did, though, because he's ironically doing that shit. Anyway, isn't it better that Alan Moore is making his crazy pedophile comics than a bunch of Batman shit? Good for him. Let me get this straight. So, Wendy fucks Peter Pan.

Yes. That's gross. Right. Because Peter Pan. Yes. That's gross. Right. Because Peter Pan is 50. Yeah. But if I fucked Peter Pan, I'd be the pedophile. Excuse me. If Captain Hook fucked Peter Pan, he'd get shit for it.

I mean, as the book states, Peter Pan never grew up. Now, what does that mean? But he did because he's aware of thematic elements and emotionally aware of things. You think he's matured emotionally? It's an act. You know it's an act because he doesn't react like a child. Yeah. You think he's just like a 50-year-old dude?

Just like, oh, hey, Wendy, I'm just a fun little boy running around. He's abducting children look at her she's gonna come to my flying land me and all these orphan kids who are also 50 are gonna rail this poor I don't know what's going on in Peter Pan uh who's problem

what problem are we even finishing 3D technology dick I do think it's bad what a waste of everybody's fucking time but it was still stuck in these parks because they built all the fucking rides to have it. Can they go in and like fix the rides to not use these fucking glasses? What do you want to see? Just like a diorama? I don't want.

Yeah, basically. I would have more fun. A Mr. Toad's wild ride? Yeah. I would rather you describe what Optimus Prime is doing than me try to see it. Like Andy Kaufman reading The Great Gatsby. And then Optimus Prime drew his sword. As the car is whipping around in circles and rocking back and forth,

Megatron is currently shaking your car back and forth as he attempts to obtain the AllSpark. Ah, this is better. That would be better. Don't you think that black people should be able to have a black Transformers movie? Well, they already have a black Transformer. Didn't we talk about this? Jazz?

Jazz is black. No, they should do all. All black Transformers? Yeah. But they can't because of copyright law. Transformers in the hood? No. What would they turn into?

Not hood based. What would they turn into? A barbershop? No. A Cadillac?? A barber shop? No. A Cadillac? Just regular, regular Transformers. No racist jokes. A liquor store?

What would they turn into, Dick? A Pontiac. A Pontiac. You know what Pontiac stands for? Not doing that joke. No. Bluetooth. Bluetooth.

I don't think I need to add anything on that, honestly. Well, what do we hate about Bluetooth? I use my Bluetooth speaker. And it paired up. Oh, is that simple? Pair it up. Just paired it up. It seems to automatically pair itself sometimes.

Sometimes. I got a good one, I think. You spend 20 minutes trying to connect To a bluetooth I think I Cause I only have like One bluetooth Thing in my life That yeah

That's it That yeah Can connect to it Pretty reasonably That's what That you gotta limit Yeah How many

How many Oh how many bluetooth devices Can my phone connect to Uh three Yeah And that's That's about it When my

My girlfriend's got a speaker Can it connect to those No Yeah It says It's got Bluetooth on the thing. Can I just pair it? No. Why? Well, because it's like the embodiment

of everything that's wrong with people. They put it together wrong. The spec is enormous. Okay, here's Bluetooth. I went to the Ericsson Bluetooth history site to try to get some facts for this. Oh.

And the site didn't work. Fantastic. And I said, yeah, that's it. That's a good summary. I'm done. That's a good summary of the Bluetooth experience. I hope they did it on purpose. The SSL certificate was expiring, so it popped up at that big thing.

It's like, you can't proceed unless you're a fucking expert internet user. Click advanced. And then click, and I was like, no, no, no, no. I will say no that's it that's that's about right i am kind of a bluetooth virgin i really i have like one speaker i bought it i bought an earpiece that i never use yeah and occasionally i try to connect a game controller to my phone and then i forget why yeah and then i'm like i try to have a keyboard oh this will be cool yeah it doesn't fucking work i connect it to my car it doesn't fucking work

you get two two phones in there and then all of a sudden you're sitting you're sitting in your home and your music starts playing through your neighbor's jeep and you're like

well there you go amazing bluetooth strikes again it is fun when it connects to the wrong speaker 20 years and it's just not gotten any better

well are they is it a standard that would ever be updated it's in everything now it's updated all the time it's been updated five ever be updated it's in everything now it's been updated five times every time is worse than the last nobody knows why this was a Sony Ericsson invention

yeah they came up with the standard blue protocol or whatever I'm sure it's got I'm sure the name is something that's just wonderfully cute I'm sure there's is something that's just just pointless wonderfully cute I'm sure there's such a fucking cute reason

but it's called Blue Tooth the dog in the office's name was Blue someone had blue balls and the dog bit him on his balls and it's got blue

something just so fucking kitschy and cute I like when this show has the opportunity to educate our listeners about something

we just don't look it up the site was down the site was down what are you gonna do the site doesn't We just don't look it up. The site was down. The site was down. What are you going to do? The Bluetooth site doesn't work. We don't know what's wrong with it. I threw up my hands. I'm like, ah!

Of course! Do you ever purchase new Bluetooth devices, you know, open? Throw them away. I throw them away. I throw them right in the trash. I did get a Bluetooth keyboard recently. I haven't really put it through its paces. It doesn't work.

I have a Bluetooth keyboard right here. Mount every 10 seconds. Just stops working. No rhyme or reason for it. through its paces. It doesn't work. I have a Bluetooth keyboard right here. Every 10 seconds, it just stops working. No rhyme or reason for it. Nothing else works as poorly as Bluetooth. What if any gravity just stopped working every once in a while? That would be a tragedy.

Well, see ya. Yeah. It's the glitchiest, shittiest technology. Well, but it's wireless, Dick. We huh? Well, see ya. Yeah. It's the glitchiest, shittiest technology. Well, but it's wireless, Dick. We have a lot of wireless shit. Yeah. All of that works.

It's true. What are the other wireless standards? Garage, Wi-Fi. Yeah, Wi-Fi. A, G, N, whatever it is. Works all. You could stream entire movies. Yeah.

Yeah, N. You stream, there is an N. Yeah, there is an N. I isn't i know there's you stream entire movies entire movies yeah all day through this cloud yeah through the air having cell phone calls streaming you would never stream around the whole fucking world yeah but you try to connect a headset headset to your thing that's a foot away oh no it's because you can't find it because it's all this frequencies right yeah it's just impossible it's just fucking impossible that it just start start over yeah start over it you guys well i'm

surprised i replaced it with something like a red tooth, you know? Green tooth. What are we getting another color? Short range Wi-Fi. Short range wireless communication. Just call it something that it is. Normal. Bluetooth. Don't give it a cute name. Bluetooth. It's actually an acronym.

Actually, I do hate when things have weird names like that. I hate it. Sony did that with Blu-ray. You're like, what's a Blu-ray? Well, the disc is blue. Sony is behind that one as well. Yeah, exactly. I'm like, what is it going to ray?

Sony has fucked us in so many ways. I think ever since, didn't they pioneer beta? Sony fucked up beta. But beta was good. They fucked up marketing beta. I think it actually wasn't good. I think that's a myth. Beta was preferable to

vhs quality but i don't think the runtime was i don't think it could hold more than like an hour on a tape and vhs could hold like eight yeah so i don't know if that came later though i think they eventually had dual uh i think they like towards the end of the beta lifespan figured out how to make them longer sony fucked up beta sony fucked up blue laser disc i think blu-ray boop sony fucked up their umd shit yeah their playstation their memory oh god uh the vita the playstation vita yeah instead of just using an sd card like every other piece of technology at the time they're like you have to use this proprietary memory card and you're like you just fucked the whole

system. You couldn't even buy them anywhere. You can't even get a memory card for these things. I have a 64 gigabyte memory card from Evita. I think it goes for $200 now. Because you can't get the memory cards because it's some stupid proprietary Sony format. And that's Bluetooth. And that's Bluetooth, baby. You need to make an

American one. Sony should be the biggest problem. I could bring in Sony sometime. That would be very reminiscent of another show. Oh, it was Sony, Brian? I don't think so. I know there's a big DRM thing with them at one point in time. I wonder if you guys ever heard of that. Yeah, because of all the intellectual property shit.

All right, that's not as old. Vito, it's the worst thing. It's the worst thing. I swear to God, it's the biggest problem in the universe. It's the worst thing I swear to god It's the biggest problem in the universe Not more than these autistic kids Won't shut the fuck up Teen girls developing fake Tourette's Self

Internet self Diagnoses You're changing it around a lot What is it You had TikTok first Neurodivergent self-diagnosis Neurodivergent Yeah

But that doesn't include anything else Like women who say they have anorexia That's a separate problem though You're calling it neuro I'm specifically focusing on this mental Fake neurodivergence There, nailed it what about the self-tut okay that's because it's fake because they're coming up with it in their fucking head okay what else and 3d technology 3d technology okay should i call it shitty 3d technology because there's no

good there's no good 3d well but then except i thoughtD. I thought you were talking about 3D printers. Yeah, I haven't touched any of those. Those suck too, though. Are some of those good? I don't know. I don't have a 3D printer. You don't have a 3D printer. I have a 3D printer. Do I make a gun? Do I want to make a gun? Yeah. Print you out a gun?

You can shoot anyone you want. And then just throw it in the trash. Don't you only get three rounds? A 3D gun? How much does a lower receiver hold now? That's what you're printing, right? You gotta print the lower receiver. You can print the whole thing. You can print the whole thing and you can...

What's the part you're supposed to register with the government? You don't have to register any part of it. The upper. I think I have... Wait a minute, no. I think it's the lower receiver. I have a bunch of lowers that are unmilled. Don't tell me this.

I don't want to know this. They're just steel blocks. Oh, okay. But they're guns. They might be at some point. What are your problems, Dick?

My problems are intellectual property laws and Bluetooth. Bluetooth. Okay. Let's do some voicemails Okay Let's do some voicemails We've been going a long time I think We really milked this show It's cause you went on and on about copyright

For like a million years You really hate the idea that anyone's protected From the beast You're not protected You have a little bit of protection And you gotta cling to it With whatever you got Let's not get fucking back into it

Okay I feel like Menu hacks Should come in As a problem on their own How is that a problem? They I don't know

You sit there It's annoying And you look at the sign and it says, menu hacks, put your McNuggets in your McDouble. Oh, that's terrifying.

So I go, I don't know, I was having a bad week, I figured I'd go to McDonald's. He's having a bad week. Go ahead, go get that menu hack burger nugget thing

and they go, oh, we can just give you the burger and the nuggets, you have to do it yourself. Like, I feel like I'm being hacked. Yeah.

It's like you play checkers and then you move your piece and you jump somebody and you go oh you got hacked bro like this i don't know about that comparison but not everything's a hack especially when i just get tricked into spending not everything's a hack that's a life hack did you see that at McDonald's The hack menu where they go Do you want the surf and turf burger What

Yeah you go it's a fillet of fish Yeah with a quarter pounder right But here's the thing They just give you a fillet of fish and a quarter pounder And you go I thought you were gonna like You put it to you do it yourself I don't wanna make I feel like a fucking slob i'm gonna get it all over the car that's their way of because mcdonald's is so big they have so many franchises like you know

taco bell already always adds new menu items yeah it's because there's less taco franchise so you can like you know come up with that and like find distributors there's too many mcdonald's so if they add anything to the menu it's's a Herculean effort. So they're like, what have you stacked three burgers together? Cause we already have that and we can't add anything new or whatever. They're like, Hey, it's the sweetie meal. What does it have? A limited edition sauce nugget cup, but otherwise it's just nuggets and a

Sprite. And you're like, okay, you're fucking with me. Well, they also have to get their franchisees to go along with it. I don't think franchisees have a... They don't have a choice. They don't have a choice. They cannot carry. Oh, yeah. They cannot carry things. They cannot order it. Alright.

How about that? McDonald's. What if anybody could be McDonald's? What if anybody? Like, would we be losing out if just any restaurant could go like, Hey, I'm McDonald's. Yeah, the consumer would lose out because I expect a quality McDonald's meal. The next thing I know, I don't know what to expect.

Oh, yeah. You walk around New York going like, Well, which is famous original race? This was dog shit. I go to New York and I go, Kennedy fried chicken Well it must not be As good as

Kentucky fried That's what people Are arguing to protect Well McDonald's Has got to be The whole point Of a chain restaurant Is at least you know

What you're going to get When you go in there Is that good Has that had A good effect on us That's That's what The American diner wants

That's what we've decided They're addicted to it. Okay, here we go. You know, it's so funny with the cashier donation problem how Vito must think that the cashiers set the donation policies for him to get so upset. Like the cashiers are sitting there picking their favorite charity. Do you think that?

And that's who they ask. Like, no, dude, that's set by fucking corporate. I know that. so upset like the cashiers are sitting there picking their favorite charity think that and that's who they ask like no dude that's set by fucking corporate i know that they don't give the cashiers don't get the fuck i think he's right or not they do not get paid enough to care they just shouldn't even ask they should just it should be one of those things and bother them about it you're not getting i don't say anything go fucking corporate stand in front of there and ask for a donation i hope your family is hit by a truck driver fucking stupid okay i don't hassle the fucking cashier but it's one of those things where like if your boss tells you don't forget to ask for a donation just don't do it why don't you hassle the cashiers

what do we do to do what to affect change at a corporate level to make them feel bad i mean i'll do that sometimes if i'm in a bad mood you know i might fuck with them you should do it even when you're in a good mood oh god could you bring this up any slower you fucking lazy you fucking idiot no i don't fuck with you you wear this you chose to wear this shit this fucking john's shirt and these black pants looks bad. I fucked with the post office one time. Well, that's smart. Because they had they had a door to

pick up your packages, right? Yeah. And it's... What do you mean? So there's like one... Oh, yeah. They have the main place where you can go and meet the cashiers, but they have a separate door to pick your packages, and there's a bell you can ring to have them come, and you give them the slip, and they give you your package, right? And I'm always... I would always be like, I don't know, should i just go to the front and they're like no go to the package door and i'm like okay well you guys

have never because i've been there and you're never there and i ring the bell and you never show up and they're like just go and do it so i just went there and i the bell was like one of those hundred the longer you hold it it just buzzes so i'm like you know what i keep telling them if you're not here just put up a sign that says we're not here go to the front so i just stood there for three minutes just holding on the buzzer. And all these customers kept coming around. And they kept saying, they're saying to come to the front and stop pressing the button. I'm like, no, this is where you get the packages.

And I just kept holding it down until after five minutes of buzzing, they're finally like, what? That's not the most retarded thing that they've dealt with that day. At the post office. I said, oh, if this door's not manned, you should probably put up a sign, like I told you 10 other times. Because otherwise I wait in a 10-minute line and I get to the front and they go,

you should have just went to the door and pressed the bell. And I go, I did press the fucking bell. You voted for the... Biden was all about the post office. No, this was back in the fucking Obama days or some shit. So this was Obama's fault. Okay, here you go hey i think i'm the asshole that called him and had his voicemail played last week where it was just basically giving veto a super hard time about double cheeseburgers and whatnot and you know i listened to the episode and i couldn't quite tell at first i had to

literally rewind it and come back and hit it again i'm like oh my god that's me how do you figure it i actually got my voicemail plate on the show i couldn't believe it and then i realized i'm so wow i have no memory of that must have been incredibly intoxicated but uh what stood out to me the most is that was just an incredibly uh meanirited and untrue and and unnecessary voice it was very mean okay and i didn't mean it and i realized something and it made me feel bad watching your reaction i watched it live on youtube when you guys recorded the show and i really wish i hadn't said that shit you know i respect your content and appreciate you as a tooth man and i was it didn't realize you know i've called him quite a few content and appreciate you as a dude, man. And I was, I didn't realize, you know,

I've called him quite a few times and I'll say a lot of things to try to, you know, just get a rise and get on the show and maybe say something so ridiculous that it can, you know, make it to it. But now that I've finally been on the show, I just feel like a fucking douchebag, man, because that's just a horrific way to talk to somebody, especially someone that I

appreciate their content for. And I hope you hear this. I just wanted to say legitimately, dude, I sincerely apologize. It's, you know, just drunken dudes saying whatever they can for a little slice of two cents of somebody else's time that they look up to. You know, it's

awful. And I recognize it and I apologize. I hope you have a good day. Please keep doing what you're doing. Thank you. Did I really just get a sincere minute 40 apology for something he called in on the last show? I couldn't understand that guy with your dick so far down his mouth. Is that what

he was doing? Apologizing? I'll just say this. I hear your apology and fuck you not accepted. Rotten piss you piece of shit. Okay. And let's, you piece of shit. Okay. And let's go to the last caller. Here you go.

Or another caller. All right, I got a good one for you. Okay. This one might be a little tough to swallow for some people, but one of the biggest problems in the universe is people not loving Alex Jones. If you really think about it, you know, we need someone like him. We need more people like him. Ridiculous.

I mean, all of these things just rolled up into one, but he's so lovable and easy to make fun of because he's been wrong. And he's fat. But he's also been right. And there's so many things nowadays that you see people like Russell Bland commenting on. So many people on YouTube and whatnot, left wing, right wing. The only thing the right wing ever seems to comment on anymore is what the left wing is doing and making fun of them. And the left wing just goes off of their mispronunciations and whatnot. So, I mean, it's...

Is this the same guy? No, it might be. It's definitely long-winded like the last guy. Maybe it is the last guy. I'm sorry that I played two of that guy. It's okay. I have no idea. We love Alex Jones, the number one.

I've been on InfoWars. With Harrison Smith, though. That doesn't count? Have you been on InfoWars with Harrison Smith? No And I think it eats at you every day How come you haven't been on InfoWars With Harrison Smith?

Didn't you go to that same thing I went to? It's so weird that I got all the media attention I know and they love it What were you on recently? I've been on Newsmax like I think three times now And on my most recent Newsmax like I think three times now. And on my most recent Newsmax appearance I very specifically said

I do a podcast called The Biggest Problem in the Universe. That was great. So if anyone is listening to me because of our Newsmax appearance do let me know. I'm hoping it's on at least one person over here. I thought I was going to play one more. Let me see here. Because it was a fuck up.

But I guess I don't. Oh, yeah, here we go. Wow, Vito. Way to bring back in stupid food trends, but rename it fucking. I already fucked it up. God damn it. Trendy food trends. What?

You brought it in two times. You fucking idiot. Go back to Massachusetts. Yeah. I didn't bring it in twice. Yeah. But he messed up right in the beginning. Okay. Wait,

wait, wait, I did bring in stupid food trends, but what problem did I bring in? That was the same as stupid food trends. You're, you mean you're going to sit there and say that you probably didn't bring in food twice? I think he's going to say overpriced breakfast

is the same as stupid food trends, but that's different. Because it's not a trend. Who are you trying to convince here? I know that I'm right on this. That's totally different. Because I'm not saying you have to get... Don't delete the problem.

What are you doing? No, he's talking about the breakfast problem is the same as the stupid food trend. How do you think websites work that that was deleting a problem? I just loaded it up and did a search. I don't know what you were doing. Okay. You were going into the database to get rid of my problems.

Yeah, I was hacking the database. Hacking the movies as we often do. All right. Let's do some super chats. And I want to thank everybody for coming by and supporting the show at patreon.com slash biggest problem where you can check out our new bonus episode the biggest problem in Star Wars and hear me hilariously comment on the Ashley Babbitt situation a lot of people that I was ever offended either honestly it was a good saying that I was like yeah I can't believe that I'm here

people said I should upload that clip separately and I'm like i'm gonna save it it's gonna be a special little treat just for our supporters i think you should it was very funny i really caught you off guard i just can't believe you're shocked she got what was coming her way all right here you go all right biggest problem in the universe kyle baxter veto say to bf nope dominic for two says say it nope your friend paul for five we cannot start the show till we hit our super chat goal to buy a pro tools license as we were scrambling to do before the show. TBF for two says, Oi, do you have a license to podcast there, mate? No.

Kyle Baxter, Vito, stop being cheap and purchase your recording software for five. Dominic for five, Vito voted against piracy, so it's his fault. I voted for this. Joseph Howes for five, Vito's not cheap.

His wallet is just big boned. That's a good one. Mossman for five. Vito, TBF, if I'm going to spend five whole extra dollars, I want to hear how you are S-ing big C's. Sucking big cocks? Yeah, I believe that's what he was going for. How I'm sucking

big cocks. Joseph Suck a big... Is that what he wants to hear about? He wants me to talk about how I'm sucking big cocks. Joseph suck a big. Is that what he wants to hear about? He wants me to talk about how I suck big cocks. Huh? Would you, would I talk about it? Yeah. I haven't sucked a lot of cock in my life.

Dick. I'm not like an expert here. All right. Uh, Mossman's for five says veto team. No, he already got the one. Uh,

Joseph for five says here by a fourth or a fifth license just hurry up oh yeah sorry edra demarcus for 20 says i registered or i suggested a to be fair sound effect for veto you said it i suck it was 20 bucks i already said if you give all it takes is 20 bucks i'm a whore of a man what can can I say? I suggested a sound effect on one of the earliest episodes. I'm glad it's become such a funny part of the show. Great show, guys. Oh, he suggested it. We got to give him one there. Yeah, you did.

He was the originator. Well, there you go, Joseph House. I know. He gave him one. He suggested it. Well, maybe he's the one who came up with it. I don't know. Joseph House for five says, this is money I could be using to buy drugs, but no, I have

to yell at Vito to stop breaking the scream. Ben S for two says two. Ben S for five says, this is money I could be using to buy drugs, but no, I have to yell at Vito to stop breaking the scream. Ben S for two says two. Ben S for two says B. Ben S for two has a blank message. You screwed it up. You almost got it. You idiot. Dominic for 10, about to get hit by a tornado in Southern Wisconsin.

Have a fun show, boys. I'll try not to die and I'll be back later. Also, can we get one last TBF since I might die? That'd be funny, I think. Not funny enough, Dominic, you fucker. Pop quiz for 10. You're gonna die and you only get 10 bucks? Yeah, you gotta... Come on. If you're about

to die, you should be reaching into the credit card and super chatting all day long. Pop quiz for 10 says, here's your money. TBF for two says, a hot stock tip by baby food. Oh, what a tragedy. Colonel J for five says, my biggest problem is Vito huffing and puffing into the mic. Change your mic settings or lose some weight.

I may have been breathing into the mic a bit this episode, and I apologize. CG for 10 says, only ever heard I can't earn more or else in regards to the welfare programs Vito voted for. Usually from a single mom as to why I have to work till mid-April before I earn my first penny. Thanks, Vito. You're welcome,

CG. Jared Schiff for 10 is someone who's been a fan since Dick's Dr. Phil appearance. You are a great co-host, Vito. My roommates are cooking burgers in the other room, so I'm going to get out of this weed air to beef. That's pretty good. Uh-huh. From Humongous.

He wants to leave the weed air. And get to the beef air. And enter the beef air. All right? Because there's too much weed air. Yeah, I got it. He prefers beef hair Very good

Alex went for 10 The biggest problem in the universe Is when your girlfriend Plasters her hair All over the walls of the shower Like some portal to the upside down And clogs the drain Then you need a snake tool

To extract the disgusting tube of hair Now I do that too Well you have hair They're called guinea pigs Yeah I get all my hair You know I comb it out When I'm washing have hair. They're called guinea pigs. Yeah. I get all my hair. I comb it out when I'm washing my hair, and then they collect in the drain. And you have a big clump?

I clump it together, and then when it gets big enough, I clump it all together, and I kick it to the side of the shower, and then I give it a name, like sprinkles or cupcake. Yeah. And I got a little family of guinea pigs over there. Put googly eyes on them, fun sprinkle. And that's fun. I cum on them. Okay. Well, now it's not as much fun.

Stage zero for two says the solution to IP is to pay up front or like this. I agree. Pay money right now. It would be better. And then we don't need derivatives. Kyle Baxter for two says water charizard in all capital letters. Different than gear does. Not like gear does.

Water charizard. Gear does. Can you imagine Gyarados. It's not like Gyarados. Water Charizard. Gyarados. Can you imagine that? Sega? I'm done talking about it. If Sega made a Pokemon. Hey, check it out. We're doing Pokemon 2.

We got Water Charizard. Open this, bitch. Pikachu? We got Pikities Nuts. Oh, that would be so much better. You take a Pikities Nuts. What a great argument in favor of dissolving copyright law. Pikities Nuts.

Oh, Christ. Pikities Nuts. You can already do that as satire. Whatever. Fadix the Great for five. No, you can't. Shut the fuck up. argument in favor of dissolving copyright law you get these nuts oh christ he could he's nuts you could already do that as satire whatever fadix the great for five you can't shut the fuck up sega can't do a dumb yes they could sega can make a funny pokemon they cannot say funny pokemon no they couldn't call it funny pokemon that'd be a terrible name anywhere anyway why because you can just whatever there have been pokemon parodies you just can't parody law exists all the exemptions to copyright that you want already exists parody law is like make not funny jokes about something yes like what's your parody oh it's like a porno

it's not funny there's a lot of very stupid parodies a funny funny thing is like parody pokemon rape the game It's not funny. There's a lot of very stupid parodies out there. A funny thing is like... There's a good parody. Pokemon Rape the Game. That's funny. Yeah, okay. Okay? The Pokemon all rape each other. Parody law doesn't let that. Okay.

They rape a lady. Yeah. That's what we need. Great. FedExTheGreatForFive says, Copyright in Japan is far more strict. In an actual crime, people go to jail for. Suck it, dick. Well, then how do they do the

pornos? Because the industry knows that their characters sell better if the fans want to beat off to them. Yes. And they just let it allow it? So they just let them make porn comics because then people want to ingest the original that much more. What if the porn isn't any good and then they arrest

you? Well, there's so much porn that some of it's going to be good. You're saying that those porno guys are committing a crime that they could go to jail for and then they're just like, well, whatever. Maybe they probably won't. Yeah, there's like a permissive culture in Japan for that specifically. But I think some companies have said, if you do that, we will prosecute you. So there are some characters in Japan that you're not supposed to draw porno of.

Well, then let's get rid of those laws. Okay. Go take it to June. If you want to change Japan's copyright system, good to draw porno of. Well, then let's get rid of those laws. Okay. Go take it to June. If you want to change Japan's copyright system, good luck. Maybe I will. Good. The gaijin who saved porn. Maybe I will.

Oh, good. I believe in you. Let's see. Ryu Ranzo for five says all thoughts should be legalized, including copyright infringement. CG for five says Dick's right about copyright. Disney could not afford to mess around with woke star wars nonsense if there were a hundred competitors and even one was good you can just make a different space thing and have that compete with star wars but star wars is ours we own that the fans peoplepected the fans. The fans will save Star Wars.

That's you now. So the first copyright law, Star Wars would be open right now. It's been 30 years. Well, it's Life of the Creator plus 30 years. Oh, God. That Life of the Creator shit. George Lucas is still kicking. So Romeo and Juliet is worse because everyone can make their own version and do whatever they want.

Is that what you're saying? Now you can. Yeah. Well, yeah, kind of. Kind of. The most iconic. Has there ever been another Romeo and Juliet that you're like, oh, this is so much better because now it's like about basketball players and shit. Okay.

No, they all fucking suck. That's a fellow that you're thinking about. Whatever. They're all terrible. Rydog for five says Bluetooth was named after Harald bluetooth king of denmark and norway that sounds correct isaac ox you got me says for five says the worst things about bluetooth devices one is the voice of the robot lady two pairing now entering pairing no no no they're doing this fucking shit stop with the the bullet points one the voice of the robot lady 2a toggling between devices easily requires magic 2b

yeah okay what he says that fairy dust is rare that is his 2b. His 2B is that fairy dust is rare. Well, that's true. That's true. I'm glad he included a 2B and a 2A as part of his problems. What about that Peter Pan thing we were talking about? Like, who fucks who? Who's the pedophile on that island? They all are, man.

Captain Hook. Captain Hook is in prison there, right? Wendy's in a bad place, let's put it that way. Wendy needs to get off that island as quickly as possible. She made the decision to leave her home, though. She was whisked away by a magic flying man. She's a child. She doesn't know better. Her brothers clearly wanted

to go. She's enabling their childhood wonder. Peter R. for 10 says, Dick, in the least homosexual way possible, I love hearing about your jam sessions with Sean. That is pretty gay. One day, would love to add to the duet with my double pedal heavy metal

drum beats. Wow, that would be cool. Oh, also love the show. Alright. Alright, well hit me with a refresh. That'd be fun to do a jam. A lot of great super chats here today. I gotta write an album. Let me come in. I got pipes. Let me be the singer.

You can sing? Oh yeah What can you sing? Anything Sing the Star Spangled Banner right now How does that How does Star Spangled Banner go? Is that the one with the grand old flag? No that's Grand old flag

Star Spangled Banner Is that Oh say can you see Oh say Can you see By the dawn's early light? Not a hip-hop version, like one of these singing at a hockey game. What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?

Whose bright stripes and bright stars Through the perilous night Okay. See, I went too high early, so when you get to the end, I'm not doing the full thing. You have to start super low. I knew you said you tried to start low and you fucked it up. Yeah, because you fucking challenged me on going low. How the fuck did the dog get in here? I have no idea.

Let's finish this up. Jake French for $13.99. Tube of hair. Tube of hair. UF slurs. Thank you, Jake. Kyle Baxter for two. Make a water Charizard shirt.

Maybe we will. Thank you, guys. Patreon.com slash biggest problem. Yeah, you got it. Biggestproblem.show. Vote on the problems. We're going to put them up right now. Right now.

And don't miss the bonus episode. And we're going to put up, before we end the show our list of supporters yes okay and all of you who have supported us at the biggest problem bonus tier level we're gonna throw you on right there and put a wow put a background i had a background but maybe you lost it regardless it's i lost it well because i sent you a separate video whatever there it is it's fine actually works that it's on top of our faces. That's good. What? The video?

The pre-show video? I added like a set. Yeah, it doesn't matter. That works. That looks great. Thanks to all our big supporters. What effect did you use in Photoshop? Justin, Nick Meyer, Riley Sama, Squid Soup, Steve Cook, William, David Croft, Barron,

Nathan Dean, Books, Prampton, Cameron Rogers, Coleman Darius, JJ, Bobak, Dean, Books, Pratt & Dillon, Cameron Rogers, Coleman Darius, JJ, Bobak, Paytong, Purple Monkey, Dishwasher, Shark, Slippers. What the fuck do you have more veto files than I have dickheads? There's no, because they don't love you. The veto file plus community is thriving and vibrant. The dickheads are not showing up. There are more veto file pluses than dickhead pluses. Oh, fuck you.

Dude, you only got six. I got like, what, eight? Did you check this? Yeah, I checked it right before the show. I pulled down a spreadsheet. Are people automatically getting added to your side? No, they pick which one they want. You pick if you're a dickhead plus or a VetoFile Plus.

Everyone just loves me. That's bullshit. I are fucking cheap and suck. What the fuck? So thank you to all the veto file pluses for making the show what it is. And dickheads are not nearly showing up nearly as much. Fuck veto file pluses. It's kind of my show, really. I feel like this determines whose show it is.

And it's clearly my show. Goodbye, everybody. Bye, everybody.