The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 53

Episode Date: August 22, 2022

Womansplaining, Deadname Drama, Fatwas, Sobering Up Before You Pass Out

Are you ready? Yeah! Oh yeah! I always think it's going to be the wrong song. Well it ain't. The biggest problem in the universe! I'm coming to fix this problem in the universe! That's right here now!

Oh! The only show that solves every problem That breaks every problem in the universe From armed tax men To having to use my phone again From missing audio To I should have clipped out the

Solves every problem in the universe From missing audio To I'm your host Dick Mastin Joining me as always is Vito Giswold Wow what an exciting show we've got here today If you're not watching the show live you're fucking up You're fucking up you missed

20 minutes of silence 30 minutes of silence it was like that Super Bowl When everything went black it was like the Will Smith Slap it was like Janet Jackson getting her big old boobies Flopped out also in the Super Bowl All rolled into one. You fucked up.

People were calling me on Snapchat. Oh, I had like 20 direct messages going, you guys are quiet. There's no show. You can't hear. Why didn't you tell us, you fucking worthless bums? But you so expertly edited it out of the YouTube cut. So now people are like confused who came late. They're like, audio sounded fine to

me they look like big old dum-dums but uh we uh now know to check our audio we're on top of it which we knew before yeah we just for some reason there's so many moving parts on this show there's so many little things you never know we're so busy paying attention to each other to snap and pounce on the other one. Yes. Sometimes we forget to take care of the technical. The demands of the comedy back and forth sometimes distract us. If only we had a dedicated technical engineer to really. Well, someday.

I don't want to pay for one. Yeah, I know. I don't want to pay for one because then we got to cut them in. That's the problem. I got to make friends with a new guy who's going to betray me someday. I don't have the time. I don't have the years left for that. I got one or two big betrayals left.

Yeah, I'm still figuring out when I'll betray you and how. You know what? It's going to be spectacular. It wouldn't even bug me. It wouldn't faze you at all. Yeah, go on. I've had a podcast betrayal before. But everyone who betrays you, seems They don't go on to like

You know Brighter skies And sunnier futures No Because they choose the path of evil Yeah They go down I don't want to end up in a ditch

It's a cautionary tale You know It's like When the first time a woman betrays you The next time a woman does it You're like Eh I've been betrayed by a woman before

That's fine That's how I feel about podcasting Like if I get betrayed in a podcast I'm like Ah I've been betrayed by a woman before That's fine That's how I feel about podcasting Like if I get betrayed in a podcast I'm like I've been betrayed in a podcast before Yeah Okay This is the part where we do

The winner right? Yes The IRS Yeah Another big W I saw you tell people to go vote my problems down Yeah well Cause you

Have a larger social media presence than me. Didn't always used to be the case, though. It didn't used to be the case. I used to have a Twitter that commanded a lot of attention, but now you can just go, hey, why don't you guys go vote on the problems? That's the voice

that you use for me? Wow. Well, I mean, that's the way that you are on Twitter. This is, you know, that's the way that you are on Twitter. This is, you know, very, you know, you know what you're doing, basically. What do you mean? I don't know. I don't know what problems you're going to vote for. You might vote for the other guy, but, you know, I'm kind of your buddy and your pal,

so maybe go vote for, you know, you just make up your mind. I can't tell you how to do it. I say go vote for my problems. Yeah, I know. I don't say downvote veto it. I say go vote for my problems. Yeah, I know. I don't say downvote vetoes. I say vote for my problems. Listen, man, I got to get creative if I'm going to win these things because you got this little army. Well, I'm bringing in the IRS.

Yeah, I know. You also pick big, splashy problems. Problems. Comply Guys was a fantastic nuance. I bring in great nuanced problems. Well, you got second. Yeah, I know I got second. Pretty good.

It's not too far off. Mobile-only websites is kind of a wash this episode. That was a good one. Yeah, well, it was good if you tally them up. Change passwords, not sharing. You know what? I knew that was a dumb problem as soon as I started with it. I'm like, ah, you know what?

This problem sucks. I'm bored. Well. Okay. This problem sucks. Abort it. Well. Okay.

Smoke says you should use the bonus episodes as a chance to update the dickhead veto file ratio. I heard everything's a contest from some other podcast. That's a good reminder to tell everyone we have a bonus episode out right now. Back to school. Back to school edition. And a lot of people have said it is the best bonus episode yet i kind of want to agree i kind of want to agree i agree there's a really good one i forgot how much i hated school until i was talking to you about very passionate about how much we fucking hate school you know what the worst thing about school is that for the rest of your life you will

hate it and you hate it more every year But women will like it and like it more. They'll be like, well, what was your favorite thing about school? Like, none of it. I hated all of it. Why? What do you mean? You had more than one thing you liked, let alone a favorite thing? Like, I liked the first day when we got the syllabus, and you got to write on the paper with colored pens.

Oh, my God. And I got rainbow stickers on my trapper keeper. I think another problem about school is that you just have like these fantasies of if you could do it again, you could have, you had so much opportunity to fuck around. Not me. I fucked around. Well, I fucked around. The most.

I needed. The most. I got banned from my morning announcements and they said they were going to suspend me, but it was too funny. I got the most. I got banned from my morning announcements, and they said they were going to suspend me, but it was too funny. I got some good fuck around stories. The vice principal sat me down, and he goes, and he played the penis joke that I made on the announcements that got me kicked off, and he goes,

you know what? I could easily suspend you for this. And I said, well, you know, I'm not telling you how to do your job. He goes, but honestly, I'm going to take you off. You're no longer ever allowed to do the announcements, and I think that's going to be a worse punishment for you. Yeah, it probably was.

You're right. Yeah, he nailed it. Fuck you. Yeah, he took away your venue. Well, luckily now you get to say whatever you want. No, I can't. I'm still getting kicked off of shit. There's a different school principal now and his name is

Mark Zuckerberg Can you believe that how well that prepared me for life Like oh yeah finally I'm out I can say whatever I want you what I can't say what Oh wow Fuck you I guess we really are defined by the free speech

By boundaries we're defined by the free speech. By boundaries. We're defined by boundaries. Well, because I experienced the same free speech restrictions in my own high school, and it makes you crazy. And you're like, when I get out of here, I'm going to be a complete fucking asshole and say whatever I want. That'll show them. It really does define a lot of young men like us. Two guys talking about high school.

Young lady and a young man. Yeah, young lady. Yeah. That's the bell of the ball Waylon says I just realized I got niggled When the niggler made me spit out my coffee He will niggle you like that I'll getcha

That's a classic niggler right there Chris Helios says I get that fucking dream every two to three weeks Another reference to the bonus episode Great bonus episode Mazinga Patreon.com slash biggest problem Mazinga says the post office only loses money because of their pension requirements i don't know where this came from if you look at their actual revenue streams they

make money and if they funded pensions like they do every other government organization the postal service would actually net a profit we were talking about uh the irs and taxes and it can't oh yeah why do you want taxes? Yeah. But I guess the post office was not a good example because they're supposedly self-funded. But I think they're running a huge deficit, so they get some funds as well. I had a couple comments. I forgot to write down who wrote them, so sorry. That's a...

Next time. A key component to the comment. I'll just give them a fucking name. Did you just write these on the way in here? Mike Fucklehead says the fact that Dick still supports Trump just because it was a funny meme in 2016 might be

his biggest shortcoming. Trump panders to the people who fetishize the cringy old days patriotism while rigging taxes and regulations in favor of his rich corporate friends just like any other Republican. The mental gymnastics you hear Dick perform every time he's brought up is truly astounding.

Oh, look at you, sheepish. You're trying to win ballgames now, I see. Look at how sheepishly you're reading this hate speech that you found on me. I just thought you should know that some people in the audience think your love of an anti-free speech Psychopath weirdo like Trump How's he anti-free speech?

He doesn't want journalists to be able to report things Kill him He thinks if you burn the flag You should go to jail There's a lot of stuff like that He's not a big free speech Well, he's on Truth Social Where's your alternative media platform? The only thing you can, he's on Truth Social. Yeah. Where's your alternative media platform?

The only thing you can't talk about on Truth Social is anything negatively about the Jews. And no one wants to do that, so... Meanwhile, you go on Gab, and if you don't post, fuck the Jews every, you know, other day, you get banned. Another guy... Don't clip that. If anyone's listening,

don't clip Vita. Tom Bombadil said, how did anti-woke marketing Get downvoted It was a hilariously Crafted sequel To woke marketing And fit in perfectly With the ongoing

Eric Blank Guy controversy Well I have to agree With that Yeah everyone loves The sequel right Sequel problems are good It's a follow up It's a callback

It's classic Yeah Is that Is that all you got? That's all I got, except... You don't have any... Well... Did I not print it correctly?

No, no, no. You printed it. Well, I think... No, yeah, we're good. Go ahead. I'm done. You're done with... Yeah, with my comments.

Your comments. Well, I have a very exciting segment called... I should have just played the stinger. Vote it up, yeah. We've got to vote Vote it up Don't be a cunt, just vote

Biggest problem dot show That's where to go and vote on all the problems. Don't be a stupid fuck. Go vote it out. Not cock.

Yeah, well, cock would have been better. Well, in regards to your problem of changed passwords not sharing, Google, Microsoft, and Apple will be building password lists, sign in across all their platforms. So there you go. You don't have to worry about that. With comply, guys, we have continued nonsense. Washington Post columnist Jennifer Rubin says in an op-ed

that taking the fifth should disqualify a politician from taking office. Why not just disqualify from taking the fifth should disqualify a politician from taking office. Why not just disqualify from taking the fifth? You take the fifth, you're obviously guilty. So it doesn't apply to those rights don't apply to felons. Well, that doesn't make any sense because like the whole idea of getting into government is you think the government is like broken and you want to fix it. Not letting felons vote doesn't make any sense. Yeah. It's not what makes any sense.

You should have. should of course you would take the fifth because there's problems with the government you can't trust them to prosecute you fairly which side set what kind of uh politician i assume uh well it's a washington post columnist so i assume democrat democrat of course they say more and more opinion well more and more people are sharing the opinion that a potential president has a constitutional as well as a moral duty to see to it that laws are faithfully executed. But that duty arguably includes an obligation to avoid invoking various otherwise available privileges. I mean, like, are you not allowed? It's not a fucking amendment, dude.

Like, when you get arrested by the cops, do you then have to, like, talk to them without a lawyer, too? Nothing. Yeah, you get arrested by the cops You then have to like talk to them without a lawyer To yeah you get no protections At all except you're also Not violating your first amendment Right by talking so you're In a conundrum yeah because you Can't express your you can't use your right To free speech but you also can't use your right

To not incriminate yourself It's just really bizarre to me that like These are supposedly like really smart Blue checkmark people. And I'm like, you know why you don't talk to the cops without, you know, volunteer information. You're either using like a media conglomerate to gaslight people or you're stupid. Which one is worse? You tell me which one you are not.

I think it's that they've just gotten themselves so tied into knots with hating trump that they'll abandon all like well you know just throw him in the river if he drowns he's a witch like obviously and you go well that doesn't seem fair the fbi did take his passport so give it to him he should just not fucking drown and then there's no problem and you're like well you know it seems like an unfair way to treat it and you're just treating it this way because it's trump that's why it's never been confusing for me supporting trump because i have the moral clarity of god i'm speaking i don't have to maintain any of these goofy uh what cognitive dissonance fucking there's none of that there's absolutely none absolutely none trump has never done anything bad.

I think his hair looks great. And last. You know what bothers me about that amendment people? What's that? Is they fundamentally don't understand like what the purpose of the Bill of Rights is. It's like the Bill of Rights isn't like things that we have to do. It's things that the government's definitely not allowed to do. Because the government is bad.

Because the government's bad. It's not that. They want to put soldiers in your home for some reason. Yeah. And we need to make sure they can't do that. Right, exactly. If you're like, oh, why. They would just do it.

Yeah, people are like, oh, why do we even have that amendment? It's like, oh, yeah, because they will. Because we don't have that. The soldiers will just do it. Live in your house. Sorry, that's not. Well, when have that amendment? It's like, oh, yeah, because they will, because we didn't have that. The soldiers will just live in your house. Sorry, that's not. Well, when would that happen? Like tomorrow. Instantly.

Tomorrow. They'd be like, we don't have enough barracks, so we're just going to start. They get any soldier can go in anyone's house. You would be a soldier. They would be like, hey, everyone in America, you're now soldiers and you're now under martial law and you have a military tribunal. There's no more court system. system like that's what would happen that's why it's every single one of those a bunch of guys and like how is the government fucked us for thousands of years oh yeah I know well by not letting us just say anything negative

about the gut or anything really and they're like oh yeah okay put that put that right there that is the top one, number one. But they didn't. What's the top one? Well, it's like one guy representing like a million guys. That's the top one. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. So one guy represents 50,000 guys. We'll put that at the top.

We'll put that on the top. That's a good one as well. Whoops. Well, what can you do? The last voted up is celebrity voice actors, Dick. Space Jam A New Legacy featured the beloved character of lola bunny was now reviewed that uh been revealed that though voiceover legend kath susie was actually set to reprise her role as the character and even recorded lines she was replaced by the actress zendaya as a last minute marketing gimmick can you imagine you're the voice of lola bunny you're all excited oh they're doing

a whole looney Tunes movie Wait, was she the first one? I don't think she I don't know if she was the first one I think, you know Does she sound old? I don't want to beat off to an old No, she doesn't sound

I've seen some of the recent Looney Tunes And Lola Bunny's actually a pretty funny character They've had a lot of fun with her Oh, come on What? The recent Looney Tunes are good Don't give women Don't give them even a crumb of that. No, they made her like a crazy bitch.

It's funny. Okay, so it's just funny because of the way the men are acting. Yeah, the men are like, what the fuck is wrong with this crazy psychopath lady? Okay. But like, how often do you get to, you know, how often is there a Looney Tunes movie that you actually get to as a Looney Tunes voice actor participate? Yeah. And the guy who just Bugs Bunny gets to be

in it. The guy who does Daffy Duck gets to do it. And they're like, eh, yeah, we're gonna get Zendaya. For no reason. You know, the 19-year-old. Yeah. Isn't that better? He's famous for doing heroin and no one else could do it. I don't think there were any other celebrity voice actors in that. It's like, that's the only one who got replaced. Because the rest is,

you know, LeBron James and whatever else. They did the Garfield guy dirty, too. When Bill when bill murray took him out because he could have just got uh kids aren't gonna fucking know music is that his name yeah i think he's dead now i think he got cancer i hope he died before they did that i think so okay is that it? That's it. I should have got wine here. I was just going to say, I can't believe you got that wine. Free. That's where to go and roll. Don't be a stupid cuck. Every time I look at the time, there's more than I thought there a mouse. Don't be a stupid cock.

Every time I look at the time, there's more than I thought there would be. Okay, here's my problem. Hit me. I don't know exactly what to call it. Because I hate the term womansplaining. Cuntsplaining I dislike even more. It's too much. It's too much, buddy.

Yeah. But womansplaining, like mansplaining is a real phenomenon where guys will tell you something you already know and it's annoying, but they do it. That's mansplaining you're talking about? Mansplaining is a guy telling you something that you already know. Something you already know, and he thinks he has more knowledge. And this was the nexus of, it's really like women condescending to you. Yeah.

I don't even know. It's just women talking, though. Women talking is your problem? I don't want to say it's women talking because there's so many ways of their talking that is annoying. And this is specific. What are they doing specifically? They're explaining something that they don't know. Yeah.

Condescendingly to you. Like, it's only their problem. Like, if the whole world is on fire, a woman's like, well, my dress doesn't match this fire at all. Yeah. Or this is, well, this has ruined my birthday. And I'll throw a fit. I'm talking about the She-Hulk. So, like, when women have incorrect facts but believe that they're.

I don't know. They just have such moral righteousness about every thought that goes into their mind that they need to tell you about what a fucking mart what a martyring world it is like how awful it is to be able to fall onto your back and make rent yeah for the rest of your life like that's their that's the that's their experience right well let's call it woman-splaining okay i don't i can't call it it is like a victim lecture but it's only women women It's only women doing it Female victim lecture I'm just going to play the clip

This is a multimedia show now This is from the She-Hulk series The new She-Hulk series She-Hulk Attorney at Law Available now on the Disney Plus platform This is the She-Hulk Explaining to the Hulk The actual Hulk,

the realities of being a woman. Yeah, and controlling your anger. Yeah, why? Because famously the Hulk has trouble controlling his anger. Yeah, and famously no woman has ever controlled her anger. So it's quite an interesting matchup, I would say. Here we go.

Here's the thing, Bruce. I'm great at controlling my anger. I do it all the time bruce i'm great at controlling my anger i do it all the time when i'm cat called in the street when incompetent men explain my own area of expertise to me i do it pretty much every day because if i don't i will get called emotional or difficult or i might just literally get. So I'm an expert at controlling my anger because I do it infinitely more than you. You know, if she says the word infinitely to like a scientist, he didn't immediately smash her head.

That's control, okay? I do it infinitely. Like that is not what the word, that would be so much more control. When I watched the She-Hulk show I literally just had to pause it right there And go That's the end

Oh man What is it about it that's so Like how would you encapsulate that problem Of a woman sitting there And you're like let me guess you're upset You're annoyed because a man paid attention to you He paid too much attention to you He didn't pay enough attention to you Or he paid attention to you that's the that's the

goldilocks of the woman's world like this guy's paying too much attention to me this guy's not paying enough attention to me this guy paid exactly the amount of attention to me i wanted and i'm very upset by that it's also just you want to tell these women and also these female writers you're gonna go i've heard i know like all this you've you say it all the time You've been saying this For a hundred thousand years You don't have to like I know And like people are going

The first thing a woman Ever said in the prehistory Was I'm upset by that I'm offended I'm offended And we're not treated right And then they killed the guy That invented language

Like you taught her this You're dead But then all these people Are posting that clip And they're going Well I'm glad someone finally said it. I'm glad. You say it. You say it all the time.

Every second of every day. That's why we catcall you, because that look on your face of being annoyed. That's why catcalling is so great, because if you're a bitch, you're annoyed by it. And if you're cool, you're like, what up? I feel good about my fucking rocking ass or my tits or whatever I've got going on today. Exactly. I also brought up. By the way, wait.

I have a stats for you. Okay. Violence. Yes. Crimes of violence against men and women. 99% against the women, I'm sure. Well, right? 98%.

Because women are doing, first of all. They're the true victims. Women are the victims. Yes. And they've been being, violence has been being perpetrated against them. Infinitely. Infinitely. At a scale of infinity.

At a scale of infinity. Because they don't hold their temper ever. Boom. Murdered. I have never seen one woman Hold her temper In my entire 42 years In this earth

How come these Karens Who are freaking out And yelling at everyone You don't see them Getting murdered Seems like if anything All you get is like A fun cell phone video

Of you acting the fool Crimes Violent crimes against People From 2005 to 2019 Yes Violent crimes against men 1.57 million so what's infinity times right

it's got to be violent crimes against women 1.47 oh wow wait that seems wrong i thought it was infinite and then when i when i found this stat it said about the same i said well that's not about the same well anytime anytime the women's like more not about any time the women's more by one. Well, women are more, but they're about equal. If it's men or more, it's like... It's like a toss-up. It's a coin toss. All you need to know is that 1.5 happened to women.

You know, the Jets had 36 points and the Eagles had 38, but you know, the game's basically a toss-up at that point. It's a toss-up. I have to hold my temper. Can't really say who won that one. I hate calling it woman-splaining because it seems so cute. Yeah.

It's like the worst thing. I mean, we have to deal with these people because we're not gay. We're not all gay yet. Maybe one day the trans agenda will wipe over the face of the trans and the Chinese and they'll groom all the kids and make them gay and we can be done of the scourge of women once and for all. But until then, we gotta deal

with them and their constant martyr-splaining. Martyr-splaining. Const-splaining, women-splaining. Yeah. That guy Notch got in an argument, like, like famously where someone told him he was mansplaining you know notch the guy who made minecraft and then he said she was a guy that named new project too oh really yeah somebody asked him what i should call it and he said well whenever i name a new thing it's just new project yeah there you go well someone said he was

mansplaining he accused her of cunt fussing the issue. Cunt fussing. I think it was cunt fussing. And I was like, like confusing, I think he was going for. Oh, cunt fussing. Yeah. Yeah, it's not the same. It was a little bit of a stretch.

It was a bit of a... It's not womansplaining. Because like mansplaining, at least the data's accurate. When a woman's doing this shit... Well, I was going to call it female alchemists, because they're basically convinced of a science that does not exist. Why they go, well, we are infinitely, you know, I have all these stats and figures. They don't have the stats and figures.

They make them up in their head. We can transmute, you know, lead to gold and also were murdered in incredible rates. And you go, both of those statements are incorrect. Yeah. If we didn't hold our temper, the murder would be like, And you go, both of those statements are incorrect. This is a pseudoscience. If we didn't hold our temper, the murder would be like, there would be 4 billion women murdered. I go on those sites that they keep shutting down, like Make My Coffin, Watch People Die. I never see women getting murdered.

It's usually guys in Brazil, you know, getting mugged and carteled. Chinese guys falling into industrial machinery. I've never seen a woman, like, lose her temper and get shot. It just doesn't happen. Smacked. Yeah. And they won't even allow that. Like, what if this means we're like, you know what, Bruce?

If I'm a huge raising cunt at work, then a might give me a little slap. Yeah, you bet your ass I would be I know how to control my attempt nasty green man It wouldn't be the same if they said why don't it get smacked? It's well I could be killed or raped killed at any point on Disney It would be the first draft of the script said right in it Which by the way more men get raped than women Cause of prison So shove that up your ass You woman-splaining bitch If anything women losing their temper

Will lead to the boyfriend or husband getting killed In like an honor retribution I've seen that I think That a woman picks a fight with like a man She's like oh fuck you fuck you And then the boyfriend's like oh I gotta get involved in this And then he gets you know punched and hits his head on the sidewalk or he just gets shot more men so what her her line yeah her lines of male toxicity she should have said if i lose my temper my boyfriend might get into a fight on my behalf we'll have to come in oh you picked a fight

with fucking gargamel or whatever is the fucking demon of the week? Well, guess I better get pissed off and come in with Thor and all these guys with no shirts on who are somehow not getting objectified. God! I'm really sad the She-Hulk show is everything the guys on YouTube that I hate, like, sees upon, you know? Where they go like, all this Marvel stuff is woke, anti-SJW garbage. And I got to be like, well, they're right this time. 100%. I pulled some clips from an article about it. She-Hulk shows the anger triggers that predispose women to be better Hulks. Okay.

Thank God someone did it. Because you're all fatter than hell. That's what... Incidents like this, which are pretty anger-inducing, actually prove a central thesis of She-Hulk that the everyday anger triggers and constant barrage of sexism that women have been socialized to cope on a with, socialized to cope on a with, render us infinitely better prepared than men to become hulks. Then stop wearing makeup.

Like, no one... You don't have to look like a horse. They really agreed with the central thesis that women are better suited to be hulks. Like a fucking retarded superpower. What is that article from? What site? Retardo?

I don't know. Retardo comic news. Let's see. No, it's not from comic news. It's from fucking women news. The Guardian? Is that it? No, it's not from the, it's from some fucking woman. Well, it's not from comic news. It's from fucking women news. The Guardian? Is that it? No, it's not from the...

It's from some fucking woman. Well, it's just crazy that anyone would sit down and write a serious thesis about fucking She-Hulk. Obviously, we're all a little angry right now, the woman says in the article. Like, oh, wow. There was a time when women were all just so fucking thrilled with everything that's going on. Right?

There's always something. I just have to say, we're all a little angry right now. No shit. What day is it? When were you happy? What day was it? Name me one day. The day before you were born.

How about that? How were you doing that day? Well, I was getting ready to be upset. I just thought a little more shit planning should have gone into it. Free ice cream. That's the one day for women where they go, ooh, I deserve a little treat. A chocolate cock crashed in the middle of town and sprayed ice cream and money everywhere.

It was like, that day was okay for a woman. It was all right. They all got raped. And then it wasn't all right. Obviously, we're all a little angry right now, to say the least. So, the hint. Women are always hinting at their abuse. You notice that?

Hinting? Half the time it's like outright, I'm an abuse victim and everyone's- No, no, no, about the abuse they're going to do to you. Yeah. Oh, that they're going to- We're all a little angry right now to say the least. Oh, something's going to happen. Like a man can't say that.

Yeah. A man says like, I'm getting upset. I mean- We might do something. I might do something. Might do something a little fucking getting upset. I mean. We might do some. I might do some. Might do something a little fucking wild to say the least. To say the least. Yeah, you go straight to jail.

We're all a little angry right now to say the least since the Supreme Court overturned Roe versus Wade. Right. And stripped women. Well, I understand that anger. And stripped women and pregnant people. All right, I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm people Alright I'm done I'm done I'm done

I'm done I'm done Of any Federal legal recognition Pregnant people All those fucking I'm so sick Of just life

I'm so sick Of like Women are going To fucking Disneyland And watching Michael Bublé In concert And you're

Wanting to kill yourself That's what it That's what it is. The Hulk is like, well, I just- And they got those daycare jobs where they just fucking sip a smoothie and type on social media and fuck around. Look at my fucking thing out this- look at my view out of Airbnb. Oh, look at this beautiful view. Todd Borg.

Look, I got a snack bar. They got hair straighteners in the toilet. Yeah. We piss on them. They got a tractor that comes the toilet. Yeah. We piss on them. They got a tractor that comes in and scoops all the homeless men into a ditch. And you park on top of them because it's softer on your

electric cars. I'm sorry to all the women who watch this show. It's hard to keep the misogyny in. Yeah, no. I'm sorry that I wasn't worse so you could get even angrier about everything I'm saying I know that I love you guys, but

Sometimes you drive me fucking nuts Sometimes you just need to shut up That's my problem And if you ever lose your temper around me I don't know what I'm capable of All the times I get catcalled Or some man explains to me. And the worst part is they didn't need that because early on in the episode, she does get catcalled.

So we already have established that about the character. You know what I've seen in these stupid shows lately? Because I put them on in the background. That now the women, like a guy will come up and just talk to her, like obnoxiously, but whatever. And they'll violently attack him. And it's okay. Yeah, and it's not like he tried tonoxiously, but whatever. And they'll violently attack them. And it's, and it's okay. Yeah.

And it's not like you try to grope her or whatever. He'll just kind of go like, Oh, Hey baby. So I noticed you guys in that Captain Marvel movie that like a guy was like a little too like, Hey, why don't you give me a smile?

And she beats him up and steals his motorcycle. And you're like, that's an overreaction. Yeah. To say the least women's-splaining or something similar. I'm just going to put that. Everyone knows what it is. Be on the big board. Well, Dick, I got a little story for you

from a fellow trans woman. I am trans and came out to my family a few months ago. All in all, everyone has been supportive, though I believe my mom was a tiny bit bummed. Now, my mom got a tattoo with my sister's name and my

dead name after I was born. It's a huge tattoo with a unique design that incorporates her and my dead name. Covers most of her arm. So, a real classy group that we're talking about. Yeah. When mom's getting a tattoo. A big old back tattoo. Old English. Arm tattoo. Yeah. That she has to

put makeup on when she goes to her job With the Supreme Court Is that Well The problem becomes That obviously Seeing my dead name Is triggering to me

Therefore I told my mom She needs to remove The tattoo She seems shocked Told me she's too old For longer tattoo sessions But I had my friends Come over

Who got furious and went at my mom and screamed at her for being unsupportive and accused her of being transphobic okay well not see you say stuff like that and I think that trans is real because no man would ever I got your name like boopy when you were a baby tattoo and I'm like I don't give a fuck about that I don't care and then your friends come over and yell at your mom, like, I'm afraid

that I'm going to have to kill you. Oh, I actually lied. I said it was a male to female. This was actually a female to male, so that's why they're reacting in this extreme emotional way. Here's the thing, Dick.

The dead name... Wait, which way are they going? They're a lady who became a man, which is now they see their dead name and they way are they going they're a lady who became a man which is now they see their dead name and they shriek and i regret everything i said it looks transphobic now it is transphobic you tricked me well but here's the thing about transphobia is that we are being told that dead naming someone yeah like the worst fucking thing in the world. I don't agree. Why? Well, I think

that it is insulting if you do it to their face. If they're like, I want to be Jennifer. You know, people change their names for all sorts of reasons. Even cisgender people will change their names. Or maybe use stage names, perhaps. We've known some people like that.

Don't you wish you would have used the stage name would have been smart yeah would have been i see these guys with these masks and they just call themselves like yeah i mean yeah i don't know i was gonna say sticks hex and hammer or whatever the fuck yeah guys like i don't know that guy's name razor fist yeah don't know his name mr man yeah it's smart i know in a way that's a form of transgenderism that they assume these identities. They should be behind it. But isn't it cringe, though, when celebrities get called their real names?

I always think it's cringe when people go like, oh, yeah, like when Trump did it to Jon Stewart. Oh, yeah, Jon Schlischenwitz or something. Yeah, it's fucked up. Yeah, that's dumb. Yeah, well, you're just trying to exert power over them But it also

But it looks like pathetic Yeah well he didn't pick He didn't pick it Because he's ashamed of it It's just like For TV and Well no it's because For like TV and movies

You want like a name That's just like quick And it's like Zach Galifianakis Famously is one of those things Where it's like You were supposed to change The name Galifianakis

Oh yeah Because nobody can Fucking spell it And find you on Google Or whatever the fuck else Yeah You know Okay Anyway so I respect people If you want to change the name Galifianakis because nobody can fucking spell it and find you on Google or whatever the fuck else, you know? Okay. Anyway, so I respect people. If you want to change your name, if you want to be Trixie the Golden Witch, fine.

Watch out. I know. I refer to Trixie as Trixie. I got no problem with that. Uh-huh. All right. But here's the thing is that, like, they're trying to make it sound like the dead name is like basically the equivalent of the N-word. It's like.

Well, it is. No, how? Because the N-word doesn't matter at all. Well, okay. So it's the equivalent for you in a different way. Yes. But. Dead naming is.

They're saying society should treat it the way the N-word is treated as like, how could you say. I mean, I'll know who you're talking about if you use either of those. How could you say? I mean, I'll know who you're talking about if you use either of those. If you use an N-word or a dead name, there is a 99% chance I'll know who you're, in context, I know who you're talking about. But, like, I don't understand, like, with Ellen, well, with Elliot. I didn't finish the name. Let's see those pecs, bro!

I can hear a friend, Annie Ellen, whatsoever. Let's see that fucking ding dong. Get it out! Fucking slap! Cup check! Elliot! He fucking stunned! Boom! Slap! Boom! Boom! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Let's see those balls, dude! Yeah!

Jiggle those nuts! I mean, I know Elliot Page comes up on this show an inordinate amount of time. Elliot Page is dope! Yeah. That guy's dope. King stud. Pussy slayer. We all love the umbrella factory or whatever the fuck it is.

Yeah, that's a good show. So, but. Elliot's dope. We know that there was. I wish I could suck his dick. I feel like we're off track. We know there was an actress named Ellen Page at one point. Sure.

But we're not supposed to say that. Well, there's all these news articles that are like, Juno actor Elliot Page. And you're like, no. Why'd you put Juno there? Why'd you put Juno in? Yeah, well. Yeah, you want to say to the audience, why'd you write Juno? Why'd you write Juno actor?

Because a lot of people go like, who the fuck is Elliot Page? That's dead naming. Well, I don't, people need to accept that like there are valuable reasons. Because you go to the Wikipedia and like, I don't even know if they put like formerly known as Ellen Page. I think they like erase it entirely. It's dead naming. Because it's supposed to be like so triggering.

Yeah. But it has valuable like that's valuable information to communicate ideas of like who a person used to be. Vito, next thing you're going to be saying that When Prince changed his name to the artist

formerly known as Prince we didn't have to go like I mean that's not a good example. That's the worst example because we did have to say He didn't have to go like, I mean, that's not a good example. That's the worst example because we did have to say. He didn't change his name to the artist formerly known as Prince. He changed it to that symbol as a marketing ploy. Well, it was because Prince was owned by the former record company he left. But he wanted people to still talk about him.

He wanted people to still change it to an unpronounceable symbol that they would have to say prince to refer to yeah otherwise they couldn't use them anyway okay but like with bruce well caitlin jenner shut up there's value i mean there's all sorts of value like there's been there's been things where like you know people have committed crimes under a previous name and then become transgender. And you only can't use their old name. And it's like, well, what was the crime? I mean, there's all sorts of crimes. Let's assume they're a top embezzlement, embezzling money.

Oh, okay. Probably embezzling little boys. But no, no, no, none of that. Okay. And you can't say like, well, it's so offensive. You can't ever reference their previous name. It's like, no, that's valuable public information. Okay. And you can't say like, well, it's so offensive. You can't ever reference their previous name. It's like, no, that's valuable public information. Yeah.

Then like, if you change your name, you have to publish it in the paper for good reason. Yeah. Because otherwise people can get away with fraud and nonsense and whatever else. I also, I also just don't understand. I don't think it's that offensive to be like, Elliot Page used to be Ellen Page. What's the problem? Well, what about like, do you call women fat?

When? In what situation? All the time. If it's a fat woman, sure. Really? Not to her. Okay, then how do you draw the line at dead naming For trans people So wait if she used to be fat and then becomes skinny

Nah just call it right to her face Like ah there's a fat lady that I know over there I just think that That's where it starts There's a lot of this uh not to get too complicated But I mean I'll use a shield Chappelle talks about this. Imagine if a woman said that your dick was normal-sized.

If you were having sex with her and she's like, fuck me with that normal-sized dick, I would be like, get the fuck out of bed! What the fuck are you talking about? What are you saying here? What the fuck? That's how trans people feel when you call them by their real name. I feel like I agree with Chappelle when he says the trans community is trying to kind of compete with the black community in this like.

Heaven forbid. Outrage, you know, who's. Maybe if we had another 400 years of trying to help the black community out, maybe then it will be enough. I'm just saying. Let white men have a chance. This feels like they see how great the N N word thing has worked out for black people. And they're like, we got to get us one of those.

I mean, it's a, I mean, it's a bold strategy. I understand what you're going ballsy, ballsy strategy. Yeah understand what you're going for. Ballsy. Ballsy strategy, absolutely. Or non-Ballsy, depending on which trans way you're going. Just how hard is it to remember their name?

Their new name. No, but it's fine to remember their new name. Oh, you're like Vitwilde now? Isn't it wrong when I say? Vitwilde, Juswilde, all right, whatever. I don't fucking care. Like, it's so fucking hard to do. All the conservatives like you

Make such a big deal About dead naming Just fucking remember it Say it No I do Caitlyn Jenner You don't need to You mess it up

You don't need to make Such a big deal about it That's my name now On the show it was Fuck What is the big deal I mean when they change it constantly And they're always changing

Fucking names and pronouns Oh it's fun Remember a new name. Demi Lovato went to they and then she goes back to the pronouns. Oh, God. Because nobody can remember to call them they. I just think that this is a ploy to try and... They're doing it with other words, too, but this is one of those things where they go...

They want to be able to cancel people. Yeah. They go like, man, I really, I remember when Ellen Page was in that one. Oh, you're canceled forever. Get them out of here. I'm canceled. I think you can get banned from Twitter if you deadname people. Yeah, of course. Hopefully they're strict about it and only like

if you're. Because it's horrible. It's the same as the, it's as bad as the N word. I think it's worse. It's ten times worse Yeah maybe I'm gonna have to retract my problem No one has suffered more than trans people And uh

Every time you dead name a trans person That's like putting them in slavery for a hundred years We should have ranked dead naming By the way are you bringing in Dead naming as a problem So it gets voted down or what I said dead name drama Oh dead name drama

Okay so dead name drama N word drama Probably holocaust Words Jokes No because that's opposite We had holocaust comparisons Oh yeah holocaust comparisons

Okay so eventually we gotta have all three To see which one is the worst on this show. Okay, that's going to be the race. Does that sound fair? Well, that's the point of the show. Choose stuff to rank. Black stuff, trans stuff. Yeah.

Which is the most... Which is the biggest problem. Who needs to get over it quicker? No. Just get over it. So what are you going to like, like You just wanna dead name them so bad And you can't I just think that like

Just do when they turn around When they like correct you And they're like Actually Actually it's Elliot Page And you go Yeah I know Well it's hugely disrespectful

And you're like I don't think it's that big of a deal Sorry Sorry I'm sorry You gotta work on a good Sorry Annoying sorry

Sorry I didn't mean to Just do it behind their back Sorry, I'm sorry. You got to work on a good. Sorry annoying. Sorry, sorry I didn't mean to Just do it behind their back like everybody else. I remember when everyone was correct It was good getting bruised with you, bro Elliot see ya and then as soon as they turn around go home fucking Ellen Page over here Elliot's Elliot's killing it keep it up Elliot Alright well that's my problem Dick That's a pretty good problem Thank you

Here's my problem I have a lot of stats for it It's Ow Sobering up before you pass out Ooh So you're drinking Having a good time

Buzzing Getting progressively more buzzed But sometimes it just doesn't hit quite right And you're You're drinking as hard as you can as you're allowed. Yeah. You can't just, you know, go behind the bar and start chugging my Mr. Leahy. But as you go. Yeah, that's a problem in itself.

Not being able to get drunk. But this is, you hit there, you hit that tipping point, and you start feeling silly. You forget about all this shit about dead naming and whose page is elliott's or whatever fucking n words whatever silly start getting silly dancing yeah head home uh-oh it's about 25 minutes to home i think i'll still be sober then like oh fuck uber's got 30 minutes 30 30 minutes to lay on it uh-oh and then you get trying to get home to drink yourself into bed yeah you drink yourself into bed maybe i'll have a nightcap with myself uh maybe i'll load up to ralph retort if he's on and listen to that for a

little bit going to bed always what i don't I just You really find something Entertaining about that I'm just describing What I do Yeah I know Or what one does What one does This is a common American experience

And you hit the bed And you realize Oh fuck I'm sober Oh All that work for nothing That sweet embrace of death That you feel when you're drunk and you don't remember.

That's the way you want to die. You didn't remember it. It just lights out. At some point, you were having a good time, and then it wasn't violent. I don't remember any kind of like, ugh, orange jarring motion. I don't remember anyone's face. It just, whoop. You pass out right as your woman picks a fight with some big ol' crazy

guy. Yeah. Get rid of her. And you're already asleep before you even hit the paper. You see BAM! Crack right in her face. Oh! She hulked your way out of that, bitch! That is the biggest problem in the universe. Why didn't you just drink more, dick?

Sometimes you can't. Sometimes you're... Sometimes you're limited by external factors. Bartender service, bartenders. What did you say? Do you get cut off at bars ever? I don't think I've ever been cut off. I've been ejected. Yeah.

I've never been cut off. That's interesting. Yeah. How often do you get ejected? A lot. It used to happen a lot. Yeah. Yeah. What are you doing? They got to kick you out ejected? A lot. It used to happen a lot. Yeah.

What are you doing? They got to kick you out. I've thrown stuff. I got ejected. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I've been ejected for trying to start fires. Yeah. Throwing salt shakers at the exit thing at Denny's. I've been ejected for that more than once. Throwing beers. Drinking at the Denny's. That's. I've been ejected for that more than once. Throwing beers.

When you're drinking at the Denny's, it's a little different. That's why I'm so upset. Yeah. Well, because you try to get like 12 people out of a place, and they're eating, like, let's go. And they're like, well, we're just going to, somebody ordered. We're going to sit and drink coffee. Somebody ordered a fudge thing.

I'm like, well, they didn't anymore. Boom! And that's how you get kicked out. I don't know. It's fun to get kicked out of things Then the waitress comes over She's like Good now we can leave

That's a good strategy Next time I'm in an awkward Social situation Oh they'll cut you In front of the line I got kicked out of a Rooftop Bar

At the Palms Casino Yeah And all these Big motherfuckers Came out And grabbed me Dragged me out of the bar Dragged me out of the club And threw me in a secret elevator

And there's like ten of them standing around Oh wow And this little fucking like Vinny Del Pino guy Sitting in front of me goes You know why I kicked you? Let me see, what's your name? And I said, I put my sunglasses on, I was like dick And he goes, you know dick, you know why I kicked you out of the club? I'm like fucking man, it doesn't really matter

Come on Well you're not allowed here club? I'm like, fucking man, it doesn't really matter. Come on. Well, you're not allowed here. You think I'm going to learn a lesson? And he grabbed me. One of his guys, one of his fucking gorillas, grabbed me and cut me into the front of a whole fucking line of people waiting for cabs. This was a long time ago in Vegas.

At De Palms. Threw me in, and I got in there, and I was, like, recovering, putting my glasses on right, and all my friends were coming out, and they got into the cab with me, and I said to the cab just drive. Just get out of here You have no idea the line that we just cut off first of all I can't believe you're not dead because they took you to a freight elevator We thought they were gonna kill you up like yeah something we thought they were gonna put a huge taxi line That's a benefit. Yeah, I was like awesome. Where we going?

to put your head in a huge taxi line that's a benefit yeah i was like awesome where are we going but again that night i think i sobered up before i passed out it's like you get robbed you get you get robbed if you get drunk during the day and you sober up before you pass out you have to ask yourself what was the point of all this? I invested all this money and time. Yeah. It's like your spouse dies before you. Like, well, I'm fucking 70 now. What am I supposed to do? I could live for another 20 years.

My wife or husband's dead now? I thought I would die first. That's what I was doing all this time. At this point, hopefully we have the Toshiba sex robot 9000. That shit's never going to be good. A night could be all right. It's going to have no tits. You know it's going to have small. There's going to be modifications you can make.

Strap a couple of balloons to the front. I have stats. Give me stats. Wait a minute take a lick her up find his stats two thirds of adults aged 18 and over consumed alcohol in the past year Wow two-thirds of adults so this can the past? So a third of adults don't drink any alcohol? What the fuck? It's kind of weird. Adults at least have a glass of wine or something.

5% of people engaged in heavy drinking. Nice. Which is more than 14 drinks a week for men or 7 drinks a week for women. Why do men have a different scale? Because women are lightweights.

They can't even drink one beer. I get tipsy when I have too many of these. 5%. So this happens to 5% of people. What does specifically? Sobering up before you every. It says 5% of people sober up. No, 5% of people are drinking that much per week.

Yeah. So this is happening to all these people. You say everyone suffers this at least. Yes. A little bit. Yes. That's why it's going to be. You don't think there's any drinkers who just have it down to a science.

Well, it's not. It's at least drinking is not a science it's an art it's an art yeah yeah the best laid you can have it all set up it's just not gonna work out for you you will sober up before you pass out and you'll hate it i think you just need better alcohol strategies i need drugs is what i need like if you get into bed and you're not drunk enough, you got a butt chug. Put a vodka bottle in there. Have it intravenously. Now I'm up all night.

Fuck. Now I'm really fucked. What is a good way to fall asleep? I don't know. Edibles will knock me out. You ever try that? Yeah, it doesn't work Really?

Yeah, I'm up on I'm up If I have one of those Big wheat cookies I'm a sleepy boy I'm just If I do an edible I'm up until

Three or four Or five Thinking about how I fucked up Like uh Fucked up by eating the thing? No, in my life Why didn't you think about that? I don't think about that

Well, that's what the drug does All I'm thinking about is like, man, why do I not keep more corn chips in this house? So that's your level of fuck up. Yeah. Mine's bigger. If I had more corn chips,

I could be eating corn chips right now. I wonder if the corn chip store is open. That's all I ever think about. It probably is. It is. You can door dash from 7-Eleven. Yeah. That's the one great thing

About America No matter what At any point in time You can obtain corn We will make it happen I'm bringing that in Next week then Corn subsidies

Corn subsidies No that's mine You can't do corn stuff Oh you want to bring that Okay go ahead Go for it That's my problem Corn is a huge problem

I got a whole tight five on corn okay bring it in why do we all know the native american term for corn dick uh maze yeah of all the things to learn about native americans specifically they taught us about corn because women are teaching us until we're 13. They didn't teach us the Native American words for like, the white man stole everything I own. Because they don't know that. Right.

They only know how to push big corn propaganda. They only know hot chips and lying. Exactly. That's why. Literally hot chips and lie is all that women know. Dick, my problem is a pertinent problem to today's modern religion-dominated society. Okay.

Trying to get away from the yoke of religion which has been strangling us. My problem is the fatwa. Like Islamic fatwas? No, the other fatwa. You motherfucker. Now, famously, a fatwa is a legal ruling on a point of Islamic law given by a qualified jurist in response to a question posed by a private individual judge or government.

I mean, every school child knows this, Dick. That's like what the U.S. does. Everyone knows about fatwas. But the problem becomes when these fatwas, these judges pass down. Wait, what's a fatwa? A guy? No, a fatwa is a judgment, a legal ruling. A judgment.

So basically they have Sharia law. They have the Quran. Okay. Someone comes in, they go, I caught Jimmy fucking a goat. Okay. How do we feel about it? And then a qualified, well, not immediately. They got to think about it and then a qualified well not immediately they gotta think about it okay they gotta consult the text there's a male goat well they're gonna ask

questions was it a male or female goat you know how many goat babies were watching okay and then a qualified jurist you know a uh some someone high up. They call him jurist in Islam? Well, it's technically, but, you know, it could be like a leader. What's the name in Islam?

I don't know. I don't know. It's all squiggles. Well, I'll read it. It doesn't really work that way. Just read it.

Squiggles. The problem becomes when these Islamic leaders are asked to rule and issue a fatwa. Yeah, that's based. And these fatwas can be quite unfair. For instance, perhaps the most famous fatwa of all. Tough titties. Tough titties. My God.

Solomon Rushdie, the famed author. Yeah. Known for his 1988 book, The Satanic Verses. Yeah. Was in 1989, the Iranian leader Ayatollah Rahola Khamenei issued a fatwa calling for the writer's death, saying the Satanic Verses was blasphemous against the islamic religion what was in the book it's uh it's like the story of muhammad but i don't know i think he fucks a bunch of kids or something i don't know that's it there's like a bunch of stuff in there how do you

get a fatwa well you get a fatwa when like a bunch of islamic guys are mad at you and they go to like the... Are they mad at you because they all have small dicks? Uh oh. Is that how you get a fatwa? We're about to get fatwa'd on this show once this gets out. How do you get a fatwa? I think they've slowed with the fatwa. Well, someone has to go to them and petition. Is it like naming a star? Like getting a fatwa? Like, well,

50 bucks. We'll get you a fatwa for your birthday or Valentine's Day. You have to go to one of these qualified Islamic leaders or judges or whatever, and you're getting a listen. But I'm too busy fucking their wives. Yeah, you're going to get fatwa. Even the ones that are underage. I don't know if you should be going down this route,

because as we saw in... The banks hate me. You think I'm afraid of a bunch of towelhead guys with dirty beards? We're definitely getting fucking followed now. Salman Rushdie was about to be interviewed on stage at the Chateau Institution when Hadi Matar, 24, rushed the stage and committed a brutal stabbing against the author. Wow. How many times did he tag him?

Did you not see this news? Salman Rushdie has been ducking these guys for almost 30 plus years now. And they finally got him? They finally got him. Under Biden. Trump would have fucking assassinated those guys himself. I don't know if that's what. Salman Rushdie. Ashley Babbitt would have fucking assassinated those guys I don't know if that's what Solomon Rushdie

Ashley Baffet would have been on it She'd be like Trinity in the Matrix Jumping through the window I don't know why she didn't bullet time her way out of that situation Mr. Rushdie has suffered damage to his liver and nerves in his arm His liver why didn't you say so?

And is expected to lose an eye. They got pictures of the guy. I think he's like almost, I don't know, his eyes are like about to fall out. What? His eyes like all dangling around? No, but it's all like black and like fucked up. If you look up Salman Rushdie, you might find it. Point is, Dick, that look, obviously we love the Arab community for this show.

We get hundreds of voicemails and messages from our loyal Arab listeners and viewers. Is that true? Do you know that? I'm kind of doing a bit. I only know Salman Rushdie from the Seinfeld episode Yeah, exactly I don't really know anything else about him Some dumb boomer

Fuck you, Salman Rushdie Some dumb boomer Fucking Hey, wait, wait, hold on Until a mortgage falls out of him Hold on Fuck everyone over 60 Fuck you

If you're a big free speech guy You gotta say that a guy who writes a book I hate boomers more than I hate being censored More than I hate, yeah, being censored They're trying to censor him with threat of death They're trying to stab him and kill him Well, at least you know where it's coming from Boomers, I could fend off knife attacks all day

I got guns right here, guns and dildos Shove this dildo up your ass After I shoot you, I'll rape you with this dildo Fat wavet, you fucking bitch I don't want to be censored by a bunch of fucking millennials drinking sipping lattes, living in a van. I have it much worse.

Be that as it may, I think that a religious order, religious governments, issuing religious judgments and laws that tell their followers to hunt down people who are simply practicing free speech. I want to say that's a bit of a problem, Dick.

Might even be the biggest problem. Well, I don't know. It's not the first step, I would say. What else are you going to do? I only got 10 minutes to fix this problem. I think maybe we should talk to our brothers in the Muslim community and say, listen. Go fuck yourselves. You want a war?

You got it, you dickless bitch. That's not exactly. I'm going to fuck like that. I'm going to fuck half of you. I'll only fuck two of your wives because the rest are too fucking fat. I don't know if that's the way to talk to them. We just calmly inform them that, hey, you know. Everything you think is dumb.

A lot of it doesn't stand up to scientific scrutiny. No, your prophet probably went to heaven on a winged horse. I don't fucking know. Oh, yeah, you taught me about that. Was it a horse? A donkey. No, it was a donkey. heaven on a winged horse. I don't fucking know. Oh, yeah, you taught me about that. Was it a horse? A donkey. No, it was a donkey. It's a donkey with wings.

Yeah, his name was like Phineas and Farb or something, wasn't it? Muhammad. That doesn't sound right. That's a cartoon for kids. It was Phineas and Herb. Yeah, Phineas and the Barak. Phineas. The Barak.

And then he had another guy, Ferb. That's not correct. It was the Barak. Phineas. The Barak. And then he had another guy, Ferb. That's not correct. It was the Barak, I'm pretty sure. Yeah, the mount of the Islamic prophet Muhammad. Well, I guess I would say to our Arab brothers, listen, we let your prophet go to heaven without any incident. He's probably pretty happy up there. Yeah.

How about you let us draw, like, a picture of him? You ever been around a big group of these guys fucking hooting and hollering and stuff? No. You'll rethink your thoughts on nukes really fast. Okay. You walk in them,

walk around their fucking space rock where the big black cube is. I really want to disavow this specifically. I see. I want to disavow

the nuking of the Muslim community. Because you're a fan of Patreonavow the nuking of the Muslim community. Because you're a fan of Patreon or because you're a fan of Fadois? There's a little of both. I'll be like Popeye. I'll have a Trump brand spinach. What is it? Beans that he promoted?

Goya. I'll have a Goya beans. And you're going to punch out all the errands I'll start with their child brides Why start with the child brides? Get them out of the way Aren't they the victims in all this? Nope

I just think we tell them Look, you know, your prophet Probably would like having Fun little books written about him You don't know So stop with the fatwas Stop with the jihads Why don't we just have all those wives? I wouldn't be sitting around and writing books like a homosexual. I would

be fucking my wife. What are you mad about? What do you care about that guy? He's probably doesn't fuck anybody. Have you seen him? He doesn't even have a fucking eye. It's not getting laid. Yeah, it's funny though. Can you stop saying that things are funny when they clearly aren't funny? Every problem is not funny. Yeah, but it's like you're Salman Rushdie, right? It'll always be like Sandy

Hook or like a kid gets murdered or whatever and you go, yeah, that's pretty funny. I mean, no, it's not. This isn't funny. This is fucked up. Yeah, but imagine Salman Rushdie. He's getting stabbed, right? And then it just goes, freezes and goes, wasted. See?

It is funny. Whoa! Memes are great. That's all. I can picture it. Wasted. Whoa! Absolutely.

I want it to pause and it's the record scratch. And it goes, you might be wondering how I got myself Into this situation Come back to young Salman Rushdie like I'm gonna write the best Muhammad book Anyone's ever seen And nothing bad's ever gonna happen to me No one would feel bad about me if I got killed

By some feminist So fuck em Alright I guess I guess she got me there What was the Satanic Verses about? The Satanic Verses It received critical wide acclaim Wow

The book and its perceived blasphemy Recited as motivation Islamic extremist bombings Killings Riots And has sparked a debate about censorship And religiously motivated violence Here's a book for you

Big ol' fuckin' nuclear bomb bomb written by Bob Oppenheimer. Right up your ass. How do you like that? Fucking. You must be excited for that Oppenheimer movie. I love Oppenheimer. I'm going to be so sad if they fuck it up. I know his life backwards and forwards.

Really? Oh, my God. He's great. I don't know a lot of Oppenheimer facts. He single-handedly destroyed Japan. No, he didn't want to do that. Oppenheimer wanted

the nuclear bomb to be a regular occurrence. He wanted it to be a tactical nuclear warhead only. He wanted nukes constantly. Because he thought the doomsday thing was retarded and would only benefit the military industrial complex that he created So didn't you want like super small yields then? Yeah, yeah, yeah, he wanted building good. They have they have one they made one

I forget what it's called. Yeah called like the Tom Jones or something. It's like a little It's like a nuclear. Wasn't it the Davy Crockett? Yes. Was that it? That's the one. Okay. Tom Jones. That doesn't sound right. He thought it was retarded,

so Truman, wait, was Truman a Democrat? I don't know. Harry S. Truman. Why is that? Yeah, he was a Democrat.

Yeah, so Truman came in and said, well, we're doing fucking super nukes. Yeah. And this guy Teller totally fucking turned on it, fucked him over, similar to Maddox. Oh.

Fucked Oppenheimer over and they started investigating him for un-American activities. Similar to Maddox. He got so fucked over by like birthing the entire, single handedly inventing nuclear power. Single handedly. Right. Amazing. Fucking amazing. No woman could have ever even envisioned that.

Well, I hope, I think you're going to get a good movie. What's his name? Christopher Nolan. He always goes good with those historical ones. And he'll be like, wah. I don't think there's going to be bullet time. I don't think that's going to be in there. You don't think in a nuclear bomb movie there's going to be bullet time?

Oh, there might be cool slow motion nuclear stuff, yeah. Yeah, constantly. He loves those big special effects. Now I'm excited for that movie. But what I'm not excited for are these fat was dick. Wait, real quick, do read what it's about.

Dream sequences. Plot. Yeah, it's about Muhammad having like crazy dreams. One of these sequences is a fictionalized narration of the life of Muhammad. At its center is the episode of the so-called satanic verses, the prophet.

Would you say that Islam is retarded? Would you say that Christianity is retarded? Would you say that Christianity is retarded? Let's say that. Would you say that Christianity is retarded? There's a lot of religions and most of them are retarded. Let's leave it at that. You can't even say it. Look, Fawaz are still a problem, Dick.

That's the problem I'm dealing with. You don't want to piss off. Because I have to. What am I going to do? I mean, you're already's the problem I'm dealing with. You don't want to piss off? What am I going to do? I mean, you're already on the show with me. I'm saying it. And then you're going to get killed and it'll be my show. Good luck! They'll get you on stage. I'll be fucking a Mohammed sex doll.

You're going to be doing a road rage and ten of these guys are going Gonna come out With their like Grain cutting knives I'll jump on my own Flying donkey Oh no I'm sorry

That's your wife Every Islamic guy Who's married Let's leave the Barack alone The poor Barack Fawa's dick Don't like him Don't need him

Don't care for him Don't care for him Okay What a show. Do we have... So what are our problems? Our problems are dead name drama. Thought was...

Woman-splaining. Thought was fanaticism and... Oh, thought was fanaticism? Thought was. Iteration is fun. And sobering up before you pass out. And sobering up before you pass out. Sobering up before you pass out. Some great problems.

Well, you can vote on those problems, of course, at biggestproblem.show. Go and vote it up, as we say. And a great bonus episode, perhaps the greatest bonus episode, is available at patreon.com slash biggestproblem. Yeah, and that's not enough. You should watch the show live and Super Chat, too. Yes. And we'll get to those at the end.

I'm excited because our Patreon keeps, there's a little like, this like graph tree on the tracks, like where your Patreon is in relation to everybody else's. Yeah. We're like number 258 out of all the podcasts. We got to beat Carl. I want to get to 250. Well, it's Carl. I don't know podcasts. We got to beat Carl. I want to get to 250. Well, it's Carl.

I don't know where Carl's at, but yeah, I want to get. I think he's in like number 180. I just want to get to 250. Get us to number 250 by at least soon. And go ask a streamer what's the worst out of these four. Go ask Destiny. Go ask Destiny. Which problem?

Go ask Kefals On her stream We do love Kefals On this show I love her Actually I've said this for weeks Now She could probably call in

I don't know I don't want to make jokes I don't want to make jokes Around her though She's really upset About the stone toss NFT thing She famously went after A couple people who happened to have their own custom

you didn't see that no she went at like the quartering she went at a ricky berwick well they were probably messing with her she was like why do you guys have these nazi nfts and i was going because it's funny. All right. Here we go. Hey, Vito, you dumb bitch. Fuck you. The reason the electoral college should not be equal

between each person in each state is because fuck your state. That was the agreement, is that small states don't get fucked over as much for the dumb decisions that metropolitan areas make.

If all you do is grow green and corn, you have no use to me. If you get the government, which is supposed to be the way it is, fucking rainbows were licorice. I'm fucking every color like you really want. Fuck off, okay? Cat raping piece of shit.

Shut the fuck up. Who cares? If this was that, the frame, if we paid attention to the original intention of it, no one cares. All right? The country is running big. Hey, Dick. I've got to say that the lack of hot chicks in class is actually such a huge problem. It was one of the major problems that's foundational to the fuck up that is my life.

In my sophomore English class, you're not doing anything anyway. There were no hot chicks. Oh, I had so many hot girls in that class. So who am I looking at? That was a good one. No freshmen. One of my first ex-girlfriends. I don't want to talk about it.

In the cross from me. Hot 14-year-old freshman. Wearing a skirt every day. They were 18. Okay, they were all 18. She wasn't that bad looking, but, well, I mean, no to speak of. She was like 16 years old. Not in my class.

Time. Let's not talk about that But she Thinking back on her She's like She's like a goth Anne Frank Like Anne Frank If she had Emptied the ballpoint pen

I don't know if I want to watch Like all around her eyes As eye shadow Yeah She had never Seen any kind of male attention Don't listen to this guy What do you mean?

16 year olds It's a fucking memory Yeah I know but like You can't remember hot girls in your class? It's just like You know Do you remember fucking any underage girls? Feels like a groomer type situation

Wait a minute I'm not allowed to remember fucking underage girls now that you're older you should go like well you know at the time i would have considered them hot but now i understand you gotta preface it you're the one complaining about dead name drama and you can't even fucking remember some hot chick in your class i don't know it's just like one of those things where you like how old are these guys? And they sit around and they go, you know what?

I used to know this 15-year-old when I was a kid, you know, and she had the biggest fucking tits out of any 15-year-old. I know her name instantly. I don't want to. I just feel like there's certain things I want to stay out of. You got to get off the internet. It's poisoning your brain. It is.

Real people don't give a shit about that stuff. Yeah, I know. I know. All right. Both to what a thing can I gave her. You want to hear about the tense that he's talking about? I'll be fucked, or I don't know. Okay.

Well, thank you for your call, caller. I'm just worried we're going to get, you know, canceled by a... We're not canceled. Way past canceled. Yeah, you're already canceled by, uh, we're not way past. Yeah. You're already canceled. I'm still like only semi canceled. Fuck the IRS. Yeah. I have a little IRS story. Um, a couple of years ago, I filled out my taxes and I sent him payment on tax day.

It was postmarked on tax day. They didn't get it for maybe three or four days later. They didn't get it for maybe three or four days later. And a couple weeks after that, I get a mail from the IRS that says, you owe $200 in late fees, and if you don't pay these, we're going to start seizing your assets. I'm like, all right. I don't really have a lawyer or time or money to fight this.

That's how it works. So I sent them the money, and I sent them a letter that had the tracking information of the payment that I sent in, proving that it was sent in on time. A couple months go by, and I get a reply from the IRS. I'm thinking, surely they've figured out their mistake, and they're going to refund my money. No. Never got it. Send more. We need 60 days to look into your allegations. Like, alright, whatever.

A few months more go by and I get another letter. Surely they've realized their mistake by now. No, we need 90 additional days to look into your allegations. Haven't heard a fucking word since then. Well, that's why

we got 87,000 new guys coming in. I want to build 737 in an IRS building in Minecraft. Yeah, in Minecraft. I'm sure I'm not allowed to say what I want to do with those things, but I think you can use your imagination. I want to make sure their child care facilities are up to code. Fuck the IRS. Yeah whatever you want. I want to make sure their child care facilities are up to code.

Fuck the IRS. Fuck them. I want to go to Oklahoma City and give them a bunch of fertilizer so they can plant some nice flowers around the building. You got to admit, Biden's IRS thing is way worse than anything Trump ever did. Or even dreamed of. It's not great. Stuff Trump did

is still worse. How could it be worse? I'm not going down. How could it be worse than giving 100,000 tax men with guns and letting them lose against poor people? You saw the pictures of them. They have them, really,

as a guy in a wheelchair. So you can't even fight back. Why could you feel bad? You also have to look at a guy in a wheelchair while you're getting raped for money. I'm sure it's going to be fine. What could possibly be worse than turning 100,000

Cops loose into the America that can take whatever they want of your money that they want. Making everybody a stupid fucking idiot Vito, what could possibly be worse? If Trump caused a hundred thousand people to get cancer, I would say that's not as bad because at least the cancer only kills those people I love Trump. He's the greatest all hail Trump Finally fucking show we gotta talk about this finally. Okay. Here we go. This is the last one then we'll do super chads Hello, oh Wait who's no it couldn't in okay? Get it? He's doing it. Oh, I sure hope the audio's working this week. No!

That's right! It was me! I did it! I got into Nick Matheson's head and made him forget to check the scream audio! Damn it! Rent free! Rent free! Rent free! You son of a bitch. And not only did I niggle you two,

but I also got the entire audience. It was pure, unadulterated chaos. This is one of your greatest niggles, niggler. All I had to do was buy a few dummy accounts and convince the chat to troll you into thinking there was no audio

in the previous episode to last week. So we would, of course, avoid. Yeah. Is that it? The episode before that, it was two episodes ago. Yeah. Then, using a series of complicated psychological maneuvers,

I manipulated Dick's mind into forgetting to check the stream audio. It was perfect. I'm forgetting to check the stream audio. It was perfect. And chat was completely broken. Just stop it. Oh, I just can't. It's the greatest niggle of all. This is horrible.

Screaming to the sky. Damn you. How dare you ruin my favorite Friday night podcast, you racial flop! Well, Niggler, you struck again. At least you seem to make a good amount from all those super chats. That's true. In a way, we reverse-niggled you. Maybe we should do it again sometime.

It's not a bad thing. No. Please don't. Till we meet again, Prick Anderson and Vito Gizmanho. Gizmanho? What the fuck is that? Ah, damn you, niggler. Damn you once again.

All right. I like the elaborate pauses and the explanation of the scheme. And then what happens next? You'll never believe. That's how the Niggler gets you With the The elaborate Planning Oh man I would hate to have a fat one

That guy Well what a great show guys Again don't forget to vote it up At biggestproblem.show And I really hope you'll check out The bonus episode I actually posted a clip On our YouTube

Of the back to school special So you can check that out If you're not a patron yet And if you like what you hear head on over to patreon.com slash biggest problem and check out that bonus episode as well as many other great bonus episodes yeah vote on the problem also vote on the go and then vote on even more problems go to the problems list and vote on them we should have like a vote on problems day once a month yeah um okay we love voting all right well we have some super chats here of course

and uh there they are jason moose for five veto should 15 year olds be in the school or should they start working and earn a 401k what i don't know is that is there a to be fair in there yeah i was about to say if he was trying to trick me. Or should they say? No. But I would say, yeah, drop out of school. And just figure out a skill that you think will make money. There's only like a few reasons to go to college.

But if you're going to go for some dumb bullshit, networking is the most important thing. Whatever you do in school. Spend all your time networking and getting names. Yeah, find the richest kid, meet their parents, and get a job with their parents. Yeah, basically. That's it. 2A Oregon, boy for two.

Vito is a sheeple. All right. Whatever. Petty for 20. Wow. Wow. Thanks, Petty. Vito, you don't have to worry about getting stabbed at ralphamania if i survived a stab to the gut because i was born with my organs in the wrong place your prodigious girth will surely protect you wow he was he survived a stab to the guy say i was worried about getting stabbed at r-a-mania? Are you going to Ralph-a-mania? I think I did say that. Maybe.

It's a lot. It's a big expense to fly and get a hotel and everything else. Oh, you want Ralph to pay for it? Ralph's not going to pay for it. You know, you could pay for it. No, you're not going to pay for it. I'll let you pay for it. Oh, also, we should mention that on the previous episode,

there was a 2B type situation. Yeah. That apparently we missed, and a lot of people were really upset. I feel like I should get a penalty for that. Yeah, it is kind of your job to be on top of it. We should come up with a penalty for you. Well, I'm not coming up with my own penalty. I'll figure it out. I don't know what kind of university thing.

Well, I don't have a soundboard. You're the soundboard guy. Well, there you go, I guess. Ten-she for five, everyone. I'll tell you what. I don't know what kind of university things. Well, I don't have a soundboard. You're the soundboard guy. Well, there you go, I guess. Tenchi for five. I'll tell you what. Here's the penalty. I get all the super chats from that episode. Tenchi for five.

Everyone go buy Vito's card game. I'd tell you if it's good or not, but he hasn't mailed it yet. I mailed it yesterday, so you're going to get it. Yeah. Echo Chamber Show for five. Vito's Twitter stunt forced my hand to vote up Dick and vote down Vito's problems. Luckily, Dick's problems were good and Vito's were bad, so it was fair. Okay.

Echo Chamber for two. Also, Vito said the thing last week. Yes. The Coke Master for ten. Big ten dollars. School starting early is a big problem. Yes. As a night person, I'd often stay up to two before going to sleep.

I'd also tend... They two before going to sleep. I'd also tend... They tried, but that doesn't count. Yeah. Stay up to... Two before. Yeah. Well, he did a second one here that I almost would have gotten tricked into. Shit!

If you didn't stop it. Shit! I'd also tend to be drowsy during something. Fairly drowsy. And the fact of my grades. Well, Dick, thanks for stepping in there and saving me. I'm sorry, Coke Master. Mike Hunt for two says Lola Bunny is great in Looney Tunes show.

Yeah, you got to watch it. It's actually pretty good. They made her like a crazy bitch. I'm not watching fucking cartoons. Yes, you will. You like Looney Tunes, I'm sure. Cody Blair for five. The biggest problem is old guys milking their retirement.

Watching Ric Flair tag team with his son, Toby. That doesn't count. Toby Fair. No, it doesn't. Toby Flair for a half-assed payday. It's close. I'm tired of this Toby shit. Mike Hunt for five.

She-Hulk was the fourth wall-breaking character in the comics long before Deadpool. That's true. She was a funny Deadpool. Yeah. Ride Dog for five says, woman-splaining. Woman-plaining. Woman-plaining. Well.

Woman-complaining. Yeah, I don't know. Somebody come up with a good name for that problem. Mike Hunt for five. Ruining waifus is the biggest problem how long till they come after jessica rabbit's gazongas i watched uh some of the old you know because when the movie was coming out they actually made a couple roger rabbit cartoons to play before other movies oh yeah to get you excited yeah yeah and jessica rabbit i'm just like you couldn't do that today

because she's just literally like walks in a frame And her tits are swinging around She's like Hey Roger What's happening here? And I'm like Oh god this is so great Anime still does it It's just western cartoons Are so afraid of Big swinging tits

When they did the new Animaniacs Did they have big Tits again? That chick with the nurse? Probably not Yoshi guy for five Biggest problem is Everyone's drunk dad.

No, that's the biggest solution. Vegetable spy for 94. Oh, no, 94 for five. Says, I had that same problem in Vegas. I'd get drunk by 10 a.m., keep drinking, but somehow be sober by midnight. Thank you! I think they pump something into the air in Vegas to keep you sober. Oxygen.

To keep you gambling. Too much oxygen? They pump oxygen into the air in Vegas to keep you sober. Oxygen. To keep you gambling. Too much oxygen? They pump oxygen into the air. Bar no key for two euros, which are worth less than dollars, I think, and are therefore garbage. Vito's lifestyle gives me secondhand depression. Wow. How about a nice comment about me? Just like one nice thing that you like about me or the show.

Fadix the Great for two two The cowardice of Vito Voted up I was a bit of a coward This show Oh cause of Islam I don't know if that was it Jim Satala for ten You should probably get

A cat scan for something Because you just asked Panty on the dick show If she supported What happened to Rushdie And now you don't remember Anything about it Antifa had drama Voted up I mean I don't remember anything about it. Antifa had drama.

Vote it up. I mean, I don't remember anything I say to Pawnee. And Crack Rock Holmes for five. Dick, when will you disavow Carl? It's bad enough you also have Rakeda and Jim on your show. You have to pick a side already. What sides are this? Are there beef between these people? Is he saying to pick a side already What sides are this? Is there beef between these people?

Is he saying to pick the Ralph side? I guess that's what it is I'm a gun guardian I'm one of the OG gun guardians That's it Carl We're no longer We're no longer doing Conference calls together and recording them

That's it Not really fighting with Ralph I don't even think Nick's really fighting with Ralph anymore Nick's it. Not really fighting with Ralph. I don't even think Nick's really fighting with Ralph anymore. Nick Ricada? He is fighting with Ralph. Nick's disavowed too. That's it. Kaya Orsaye disavowed too. I feel like all those guys are gonna make a

they're all gonna make up at some point, right? The only one who's really burned the bridge is not. Yeah, it's funny Cause they're fighting Yeah So why do you get to pick sides Hilarious I'm tired of the picking sides thing

I get this on YouTube Where Oh you do Yeah I get guys Who send messages And they're like Well if you do that Like uh

Like I'm pretty reasonable I'm reasonable Cause like what do you call it What's that guy Who comes on uh Alex Stein Primetime 99. He's hanging out with everybody I fucking hate. Uh-oh.

I'm not going to cut him off. You hate those guys? Which guys? He's hanging out with- Whomever. I don't know. Whomever. He's hanging out with Eric July.

Why do you hate those guys so much? Because they- You'd make money if you just didn't like- See, Ralph monetizes his hate. Yeah. Like, Ralph hating someone, everyone wants to talk. Oh, wow. What's Ralph saying about that guy?

Oh, shit. Here's a couple bucks. Well, it doesn't help. It doesn't make any money. It doesn't help that they have a website, geeksandgamers.com, that has an article that's like, well, you might think that Vito and Dick Masterson going to Netflix is cool, but actually Vito's a fucking pedophile. And I'm like, well.

What'd they say about me? I think they said you're cool Well, let's let's bring this up geeks and gamers Vito is all the Fake giant pile of garbage publish an article Calling me a pile of garbage in a pedophile Back when we did it they were like they hated when we did it because everybody was like, oh, Vito and Dick are so cool.

Those guys are awesome. That's such a cool thing they did and they were still mad at me about that stupid Alex Jones, whatever the fuck. Yeah, well, people were rightfully so pissed at that. Okay, but like,

it was over at that point and then they're like, oh, we're going to make a little article that he's a fucking F slur. But didn't you call these guys like scumbags and stuff? Yeah, they're scumbags.

Did you apologize to them? I apologized for the tweet. Oh, yeah. Well, who? Okay. In the footage, he started chanting, we like John. It's not such a terrible article. It's not interesting.

In the now-deleted footage, a man who claims, who Vito claims is a writer at Netflix. But, like, you have a website that's supposed to be about like comic books and whatever else. And you like. Yeah. Really pay a guy to write an article that's like, oh, he also said this on a stream. So he's like a fucking pedophile. I'm like, all right, well.

Oh, look, they're talking about your old. Well, that's the weird thing about the articles. They're like, well, what he did was cool. Yeah. But he's also a piece of shit. See, imagine if you hadn't Have started beefs And they just saw you

For the first time It would be like Vito's the greatest guy In the world Yeah but I don't I don't like those guys They're really dumb Just imagine

They're obsessed With like just Every All this Marvel And Star Wars shit It's like Yeah you can say it sucks But they're like They have destroyed Our childhoods Star Wars shit It's like Yeah you can say it sucks But they're like

They have destroyed Our childhoods Star Wars was the most Important thing that ever happened And now Obi-Wan's gay Don't you have a comic book That's The plot is about

Killing Famous childhood IP characters That are like Yeah but I'm not killing them Because they're woke Trash I'm killing them

That's not gonna be a plot No That's not gonna be a plot point I'm sure at one point there will be like some character that does something like super obnoxious. I just don't think you monetize your hate like Ralph does. Like Ralph's fucking hate.

I don't get paid in hate. He makes a lot of money doing it and it's funny. If I don't agree with him I'm like that's fucking funny. I wish that he wouldn't say that about me. I hope. I know if I was more of a particular type of scumbag oh i know you're not referring to ralph i would do no i'm not i'm referring to these other guys yeah uh i could do very well for myself but like i'm just could not do that well that's what i'm saying is i can't be that dishonest i can't lie and pretend

that I care That much about this shit Yeah but you pick fights With those guys specifically They picked a fight With me first Okay That Ryan Kinnell guy

Came at me Over me being friends With Mr. Girl Oh And then After that happened He got everybody over there To be like

Yeah Vito's a piece of shit Oh It all goes back to cuties. It does cause I used to like talk to some of those guys and I was like yeah you guys you know I don't agree with you but like it's funny and it's fun to talk shit and they all started parroting this fucking

like Vito's a fucking pedophile bullshit and I was like well fuck you guys then you're all fucking interesting color for this story I get there's a lot there's a lot going on yeah i really want a bunch of guys call me a pedophile for months i go like well fuck you you know i'm not that cuties really bubbled up the retards it really it was a turning point aren't you mad about cuties shut up you fucking retard You stupid fucking moron. God, you're like a fucking puppet.

Oh, did you see the fucking, did you see that thing that's called cuties? Shut the fuck up, you idiot. God, you're stupid. You don't even deserve to see color. You're so fucking stupid. The whole world should be in black and white. I didn't even see the movie. I'm just friends with a guy who reviewed it.

And that's enough to be like you're pure trash and you're garbage and you know i don't i don't just like when i'm my time off i don't go watch chick movies sorry yeah that's what i can't explain to people like do you don't understand how boring that movie sounds to me i'm not even like offended by it i'm just like bored uh like what do they do it's a bunch of like girls learning about periods. Did you see the new Mentos ad? They've got the girls are talking about kissing little boys and they take a Mentos to freshen their

fucking butt. Everybody's grooming everybody and we're all gonna be gay. It's just exhausting. I got bad news for you guys. You're already gay. You're obsessed about a movie for little fucking girls and the reasons why don't matter at all. Anyway.

So, yes, it's very complicated. There's two new Super Chats. Snazzy Raz for $20. Wow. Says, I came late to the show. Can I get the new Vito Stinger? There you go. And we've got to vote, vote it out.

Can't read the next one. Fadix the Great for five. Here's a compliment, Vito. You do a great impression of a morbidly obese Maddox. Well, thank you, sir. We don't own at all. The problems. Don't be a fucking cock.

Just go vote it up. All right. As you guys pretend I might not be veto file, but I do like a liberal undertog in the show. And let's be honest, veto is a lot funnier than the hate comments he gets. I am funnier than, at least I know I'm funny.

I'm pretty, I think I'm, I think I bring something to the show. Your response to the comment was hilarious. Yeah. Thanks, guys. Bye. I love you.

Boop. Boop. Boop. Boop.