The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 58

Episode Date: October 1, 2022

Wellness Checks, Philistines, Spilling Shit on Your Keyboard, Mandatory Evacuation Orders

Is that little girls or little boys? Yowie would be, well it can be boys of any age Little boys would be Old men, lemon party is yowie Young boys would be Shota Kara Froman with a super sticker For $1.99

Love those stickers We need some kind of a girl gives a super chat Button song Dun dun dun dun Dun dun We only like the female super chants gives a super chat button song. We only like the female super chats. No, we like super chats from all the people. Thank you so much. I mean, women could loosen up their pocket books a little bit. It does seem like the men are putting in the money. Guys will throw down

10 bucks, 20 bucks like it's nothing, but a girl does a super chat like, well, what's the minimum that I can do? Here's a dollar. Oh, I can leave a fun little sticker. No, it's the minimum That I can do Here's a dollar Oh I can leave A fun little sticker No it's fun It's uh Now I feel

Now I feel like I'm negging Kara To make her spend more money Well cause you took it too far I know I took it too far I even did a little voice That was mean

Kara's great We see Kara all the time She's good What a show Yeah yeah She's uh I think she's an Andy Uh transfer

Oh She's from the- She's a popcorn planeteer, I believe. A planeteer. That's what they call her. What are the biggest problems people called? Idiots and douchebags. I don't fucking know. Israelis?

No, no. Oh, God. You got it. Oh, God. You got it. Oh, yeah. Biggest problem in the universe. Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe. It's the only show that ranks every problem in the universe. From athletes dressed like slobs to women refusing to wear their hijabs.

I did that one. Tommy House Big Masterson joining me as always is Vito G. Suambe. What an exciting show we have here today. What's up, buddy? Not a lot. It's been a week. Feels like a long week. It does feel like a long week. Why is that? Is it the constant threat of World War III? There's a lot going on in the news and in the world. Is it the World War weebs? Is it the Ralph versus Jim versus Keppels versus Noh versus Tommy? I can't break away versus Nick the Knife? I can't imagine trying to sort that out.

Although I've been going through my own personal, what do you call it? Oh, with Eric July Eric July's comic has revealed itself He put a jewelry ad In the middle of his non-woke He put a jewelry ad for his wife You pay $35 plus shipping plus tax For a comic book

It raises $3.4 million And right smack dab in the middle of the comic book Is a big stupid ad for his wife's Like Etsy jewelry. I mean, you know how to do that correctly? How? You put it on the back page. You put, special thanks to my wife for always supporting me.

Here's a link to her Etsy store. Yeah. Or make it fun and make it look like one of those old comic book-y ads where the cutouts and it's like, Sure. Done anything with it, it literally just looks like A shitty flyer You'd pick up at a wellness seminar It looks like something That Macy's sent you in the mail

Let's stop this Christian do-gooder story And it's in the middle? It's in the middle I thought it was at the back Apparently it's like You're reading the comic You're going along

And then it's like Do you want jewelry? I mean I don't want to be mean Towards the jewelry But you know It's dog shit It's just a bunch of crap That women sell crap to other dumb women

And they blow men's money on it That's called Etsy That was their PowerPoint Their VC presentation Guys check this out Women spending men's money on crap Making crap Endless virtuous cycle

I can't get too deep into it Because so many people go Well it doesn't matter As long as the comic's good And I'm like I guess but like Yeah but the comic's Kind of so-so

That this guy doesn't know What he's doing Like you don't put An ad for your wife's jewelry In the middle of your fucking comic That's weird Especially after you raised Over three million dollars

That's being like Hey also buy more of my I don't know man I don't even Just like make me feel Like a loser Right You know know kind of like i'm uh i'm out here thinking about buying jewelry for girl i don't have right i'm here to buy i'm here to take part of the culture war not to be reminded that i don't have anyone to buy shitty that's the thing is like everyone's

like well you know a lot of the guys reading this they probably have wives and girlfriends i'm like no wrong they're they're too busy fighting the culture war. And the jewelry is not in the size that it needs to be for the ones that do have wives. XXL. Okay. Yeah. I need a wristband. That's a nice bracelet.

That's about the size of a tire. Look, I have not read the comic. I'm waiting for it to become available. He didn't sell it digitally, and I wasn't going to give him $50 for a a print version so i'll have to wait and see what happens what if i just want to buy his wife's ad yeah can i buy uh can i buy somebody everybody if you bought the eric july ripa comic please let me buy the wife's ad from the middle you won't miss it tear it out send it to me i don't know if it's got anything on the other side of it he's also got like an ad for his stupid band like the whole thing is side of it He's also got like an ad For his stupid band

Like the whole thing Is full of advertisements There's like three different pages Thanking you for fighting The culture war alongside him I'm like That's cool No that's cool

No it's That's cool I'm tired of the Preachy aspect of this Yeah But people get mad When I talk about it So I just won't get in

Why? This is your victory lap I mean From what I can tell the comic is not very good as i said it wouldn't be but we'll see what if i started out every patreon bonus episode with an ad for my girlfriends i don't know exactly it's weird cookie baking service yeah everyone would call you a cuck but for some reason eric's you know yeah exactly yeah but something about eric they go, he just supports his wife.

That's manly. And I'm like, it's kind of not at all. No, it's not. Yeah. Tell your wife, no, I'm making superhero comics. That has no place here. No, bitch, get your shit. Yeah.

You sell your own woke. You need to go tell all these bitches that you're selling non-woke Glass Beads And Hemstring And whatever the fuck Yeah Red, white, and blue bracelets That's on you I'm not helping Okay

Um Shorter attention speed Wow Another big win For the V-Man Is that your comic? That's uh The V-Man

The V-Man Dr. V I'm gonna do a comic A Kickstarter That's just you Like a guy Who hates You know

Pisswaldy Yeah Who's pissed about All the anti-woke marketing And goes around Who's mad at black people Succeeding Yeah

That's Not according to him Not according to him And it's not gonna be black people It'll be like a different universe Yeah It'll be like Polka be black people It'll be like a different universe Yeah It'll be like polka dot people Yeah

It'll be like a metaphor Cause I'm a good writer I really shouldn't get into the comments Alright I'm just It's People always think That it's like coming from

A position of jealousy And it's not It's complicated Okay Jealousy usually is Getting band-aids Wet Envy I think Not jealousy I love that that I love that you got second With getting band-aids Wet envy I think I love that that I love that you got second

With getting band-aids wet a problem that you went You know what it sucks when your band gets wet Alright that's the show and I was like Honestly though I appreciated that you kind of were like There's nowhere to go with this Let's just wrap it everybody knows We need more Problems like that honestly

Somebody said in the thing Why doesn't Dick bring in any Like dumb problems Like getting band-aids wet was not dumb enough for you Finger pain They got plenty of dumb ones Refusal to wear the hijab Should have been dead last

It wasn't it was a problem And boring sports uniforms No but I This is one of those problems where I go It was a problem. And boring sports uniforms. No, but this is one of those problems where I go, I don't think people understand how great they could have it. Oh, really? I think a bunch of these guys are secret. What do you call it?

They like the fascistic. They want to wear uniforms, these guys. They want to look exactly the same as everybody around them. They get off on it. They should come out dressed like the SS? No, no. Like leather pants? Like doing basketball? No, they should look like the X-Men, you know? Well, like every one of the X-Men, they all

had to wear blue and gold, but like one guy had like a sash, another guy had like... They had to wear blue and gold? Yeah, the X-Men in the 90s, they all had blue and gold outfits. Alright, well, it's kind of a theater kid problem, though, don't you think? Like, these outfits are not flashy and snazzy enough. No point.

Okay, Nuclear said, I didn't know Vito was so incredibly culturally insensitive, trying to force his Western cultural imperialism on these poor women who only wants to live honorable lives and respect their God and their husband. Fatwas have been issued for less, inshallah. Praise Allah. Why does the show keep getting more and more Islamic? Praise Allah. We've gone from the Barak, we've gone to diminishing fatwas.

Praise Allah. Now we're saying women get a word burqa. This is nuts. I'm typing with my wiener. I was very offended by Vito's blatant Islamophobia during this episode. I'm one of the supermats at this point. Shut up. You have no idea what that means.

Offending. Michael says Vito was right. Hey, Dick, long time listener here. As much as I hate Vito. What? Well, the title was Vito was right. That was the subject. Yeah, okay. As much as I hate Vito is Right. That was the subject. Yeah, okay.

As much as I hate Vito and his anti-black creator attitude, he nailed the theater kids argument. It's always been hard to put a name to these types of people, but they're the people with almost no actual personality, but they want to play the role. They can't create. They can't maintain. They can't even be asked to put the energy in to add whatever role they're trying to play.

I could always pick them out, but I could never put a name on it veto did that this week he's right this goes on and on wow i really gave this guy a whole new perspective on theater kids infiltrating every aspect of society it's fucking theater kids he and most of the problems in the world can always be linked back to one of these people thank you veto you absolute racist wow trump's trump's a theater kid that reminds me we should plug the bonus episode wow what a great bonus episode we had Thank you, Vito. You absolute racist. Wow. Trump's a theater kid. That reminds me. We should plug the bonus episode. Wow, what a great bonus episode we had.

Yeah, we did. The biggest problem in the universe, supersized edition, where we talk about all the greatest problems in fast food. What people liked was that we had a little rapid fire, so you don't just get four problems. Yeah. We went through a whole bunch of them, a bunch of little ones. See see go to the website and see if you can guess which is veto's that problem is in third and i find that i'm i think people understand i don't know if you saw one guy's comment was like wow veto took a problem i have and made it racist so

i saw that getting stuck behind somebody with a lot of orders Somebody in a drive-thru It's different though It is different Dave Swigert says Dick really inspired me, I know what my wife will be getting for Ramadan Hijab, must wear the hijab

Put on the hijab No one refuses to wear the hijab Baka lock Now you're making Star Wars noises. Now you're quoting Jabba the Hutt at this point. Chuba-waba-wookie-jabba-he-job. Inshallah. Inshallah.

Ben Welch said, Vito, there were only two other children on board the Kobe crash other than his daughter. Yeah. The rest of them were dead. The rest of the dead were their parents and the pilots. I don't know. Okay, I don't know. So two other little his daughter. The rest of them were dead. The rest of the dead were their parents and the pilots. I don't know. So two other little kids died. I don't know. What did I say? Four little kids died? Yeah.

I know there's a last one I have. I know Dick thinks books are gay, he says, but I just finished reading No Longer Human and I think you should give it a shot. It's about an alcoholic, drug addict dude who bangs a bunch of hot chicks And then gets them to pay for his living Why would I want to read this?

No I don't see how you identify With that experience at all Sounds like he's having a great time Do I look like I'm having a great time? No And whenever one of the hot chicks Becomes a nuisance

He gets them to kill themselves Oh my goodness No, no, this is terrible Best part, he has a kid at the beginning and ditches it and says it's not his. Then towards the end. I think our audience is learning the wrong lessons. My audience? Yeah.

I think Cody McGovern is a veto file. That's true. You might be on the veto file side. Okay. So that's all the comments. Well, here's a thing we got to talk about real quick, Dick. Is that a lot of people, this is normally where I would do one of my stingers for the voted up segment. Oh.

But I've recently been receiving some criticism about my stingers from a certain Chilean commentator. I happen to have his stingers. Oh, do you? I was going to surprise you with them. Do you want to hear? Should the audience hear one of them? I just want to say a lot of the audience likes the stingers. Oh, do you? I was going to surprise you with them. Do you want to hear them? Should the audience hear one of them? I just want to say a lot of the audience likes the stingers. Here is maybe what a certain gentleman thinks about them.

A certain gentleman by the name of Dame Pesos. Yeah. Who recorded these stingers. Here's one of them. Black penises Maybe or maybe not Vito likes Vito likes Babies Yeah

So he's talking about it in your ass So many black penises are in my ass Yeah Do you want to hear another one? Just in case you didn't get it. Yeah, just, I mean. Hola, papito. It's Fanta Gay.

Look how his asshole is full of penis. Penis. Black penis. Baby, he's so gay. Look how his asshole is full of penis. Black penis. Baby, oh baby, Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. See how he started It's just gay See how he started with Yeah I don't even need to know

The songs these are based on To know that they're good To know that they're Yeah I honestly don't know That sounded like Some anime theme or something Yeah So

What seems to be happening Is that Mr. Dame Pesos Does not agree with my stingers I don't know if he thinks They're a detriment to the show I work very hard on those Okay And that is why

I have prepared a rebuttal to Mr. Dame Pesos. Speaking in a language I think he would understand. The language of homophobia. Not tacos? Not, well... Okay, language of

homophobia. Well, let's hear it. Dame, it's okay. You should go live at the YMCA just a pathetic jerk who wants to suck dick with the young Turks Domme you should ask Hank Uger if you can suck on his big luger Domme just a talentless tryhard with the voice of a fucking

retard Domme you're so gay you're so gay you're so gay Domme you were busy hiding from Joe Biden for a year and a day now like a, you come crawling back. Time to put you in your place. You suck, white guys. You fuck, black guys.

You're a homosexual. Yeah, you suck dick, you Chilean monkey. Fuck you. Well, there we go. That is my response, of course, to Dami Pesos. Wow, and that was just, you were just taking the language of homophobia? You weren't being homophobic? No, how could I be homophobic, is he?

Well, this part. Dami, it's okay. You should go live at the YMCA. Just a pathetic jerk who wants to suck dick with the Young Turks. Dami, you should ask Hank Uger if he can suck on his big luger. Dami, just a talentless tryhard with the voice up. That's a little much. Talentless tryhard? He is the most untryhard.

He tries the least. Even less than me. You might be right. Maybe he is phoning it in. Maybe he's not trying hard. Regardless, I think that is an appropriate response Okay And going forward

Maybe the audience can let us know Do you like the stingers? Are you team Dame Or are you team Vito? You can do that at Patreon Go to patreon.com Slash biggest problem And voting for

Subscribing to my tier Is basically Subscribing to the dick Is the same as subscribing Subscribing to Dame Pesos And subscribing to my tier is basically subscribing to Dime Pesos and subscribing to me yeah

is a vote for great stingers on this show which I think the fans love and I think Dime just doesn't understand what they bring

I mean he understands them here here's another one that he sent Vito Vito is very verified he's a homosexual man Maybe he also Likes the blood

I feel like he's putting Less effort Into the stinger You're right He's not a try hard Yeah See Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah You don't have like a yeah at the end of yours It's hard to rhyme with retard That was the problem I ran into Okay do you have an actual Thank you Dometic No I have nothing else It was very late for the show I thought it was Thursday So that's why I had to throw that together in like an hour

And that's just the kind of expert stinger expertise That you'll get from me in under an hour Dometic probably spent weeks Trying to come up with a rebuttal. You got him on that Biden thing. He was hiding for a year. Oh, Biden won. Oh, my whole gimmick went out the window. I can't make fun of the UGTARCs on election day.

Look, he only comes crawling back now. Now that Biden's cratered. Now that Biden's cratered. Now that Biden's cratering. Now it's popular again. Yeah. Yeah, I see through him. Well, okay.

But Domi was also positive. He was defending me as well. Not anymore. He's not going to. I want to be clear. This was a friendly retort. It has not yet entered the realm of pure acrimony or whatever it's called. We'll see.

We'll see how he's going to respond. Routes raised the bar on responses. Dami, I still respect what you do. I just thought, you know, tit for tat, and that's the way we do it. Well, as the winner of last week, I guess I got to go first here. Yeah. Dick, you ever been hanging out in your home, minding your own business? Yeah.

And can you imagine how you would feel if somebody came to check up on you? Maybe a neighbor goes, hey, how you feeling? Brings you some hot soup. A family member. I'd be very upset by that. Yeah. Well, how would you feel if it was a cop? I would shoot him in Minecraft.

Well, that's the problem, Dick. Anyone can say they're a cop. They're probably a criminal. Knock, knock. Well, if they're a cop, they are a criminal. My problem, Dick, is the wellness check. Have you heard of this scam? Oh, yeah, man.

That's fucked. Isn't that really fucked? It's really fucked. So literally anybody, they don't need to know you. They don't need to know what's going on. It could be someone who fucking hates you. As we've seen has happened to people we know. We'll call the cops and go, hey, listen, I'm worried about my neighbor.

Can you go over there with no warrant and no reasonable suspicion and hassle them just for funsies and they'll and the cops do it and it's called a wellness check it's not called to fuck with you and try to find a reason to like burst into your house and search around and try to rile you up and get you to pull a gun so we can blow you away yeah this should not exist I don't even like the principle of it like that they're helping people. Yeah. Like just let them die. The only like possible thing is like I smell a dead

it has to be like a horrible stench because sometimes you got a dead body rotting away in there. And even then maybe the cops shouldn't be the ones handling it. It's like yeah it smells like a fucking corpse in there man. Judge. You should have to get a warrant. Yeah, it smells like a fucking corpse in there You should have to get a warrant. You're right. Yes, you should definitely yeah, I'm just doing corpse stuff in here. No big deal This guy sold me his corpse. Trust me. It's all in the up-and-up. I got a contract here I think that's the only time though

I've ever been like and the cops found a body and the homeowner had died six months ago and you're like, okay I waited six months for it to smell like shit. In this house. Oh, somebody died in this house? Yeah. I didn't know that. Strangulation. Autoerotic asphyxiation. Oh, did you get a good deal on the place because of that? Yeah. I paid extra.

Oh, you paid extra. You said, what strangling house is this? They're going to clean it out. No, no, no, no, no, no. Don't do anything to it. Don't do anything to it. You want a ghost who died from pathetic causes because then your house is already haunted. Otherwise, a bad ghost might come in. Yeah, tough guy. Yeah, like a tough guy and he fucks around and he knocks shit off.

You want a pathetic guy who killed himself by strangling himself while jerking off. Well, Dick, from 2019 to 2021, at least 178 wellness checks have ended with the law enforcement officers shooting and killing the people they were called on to assist. Can you do like a wellness check, but say like, hey, can you leave your gun in the car? No, you can't do that. It's just, it drives me nuts. The cops hear wellness check and they're like, all right, there's a good chance I'm going to get to kill a crazy person. You know who could be in here? Buffalo Bill.

I watched Silence of the Lambs last night. I might save a lady. Who's not seen an action movie in over a month? Okay, you're doing wellness checks today. Can you just leave your gun in the car? Why would I leave my gun in the car? Well, I mean, it's the same problem that we had with the no-knock raid Is that people don't know what the fuck Why is somebody coming to my house?

You don't expect someone to knock on your door And there's a lot of times in the middle of the night Dude, it's just the worst scope creep ever Like, okay, we've got these cops They're like finding horse bandits and like bank robbers and stuff Like, oh, can they like check on my mom? Like, uh, get out of here Get out of the meeting

Get out, idiot Go away Well, it might have made sense I, like, check on my mom? Like, get out of here. Get out of the meeting. Get out of here. Go away. Well, it might have made sense. I feel like, am I crazy? Was there a period of time where the American cop, the last thing on his mind was, I'm going to go, you know, possibly shoot the people in this house. It was like, you probably could at one point knock on the door and go, everything okay, ma'am?

You got enough milk in the fridge? No. No. I disagree because if they're, like, I think that cops tell you that, so you tell them Everything okay, ma'am? You got enough milk in the fridge? No. I disagree because if they're, like, I think that cops tell you that, so you tell them to do that so they don't have to do their job. Which is like, go get killed for stopping crimes. They're like, oh, yeah, what's this about a wellness check? Oh, yeah, I'm going to go. Let me do that.

Somebody else can go do the rapist, pedophile thing. Well, the argument that the filthy liberals have made is like, if you're going to do wellness checks, you know, don't we have social workers? Do the cops need to be the first guys to go out? Do they have to bring their gun? Do they have to bring their guns? Leave it in the car. Couldn't you just send like a night, like, who are we checking up on?

Oh, it's my cousin. Send him a pizza. Yeah. He's a little, you know, whatever. He might be agitated. Okay. We'll send a very nice lady to knock on the door and go, hey, is Tom okay? No, I don't want to send a lady.

I don't know who you send. A fat one, a fat lady. Okay, we'll send fat women. Yeah, that's fine. Most social workers, let's be clear. No, they're anorexic. There's a lot of fat ladies. They've got personal problems.

Anyway, it would be nice to just send someone over there who's like, immediate thought is not, this guy does something wrong. I'm going to have to blow him away. Because that's what a cop is thinking all the time. Wellness check. Wellness. Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop. What?

In 2015, James Allen, a 74-year-old Army vet, was killed by police officers after firefighters forced his door open during a wellness check an officer shot alan after the vet pointed a gun at him he probably thought someone was breaking into his house or robbing him said his sister he's a 74 year old man and the firefighters are jamming here's the wellness check are you in there yeah leave me alone you don't get the firefighters to break the fucking guy's door down he doesn't know who the fuck's going i don't get the firefighters to break the fucking guy's door down. He doesn't know who the fuck's going on. I don't understand why, number one, like, I can't say, well, I honestly thought that the criminals were disguising themselves as cops. Or number two, and saying, like, no, I just don't want a single cop in my house, and I shot them in Minecraft. I have castle doctrine, and I should be allowed to kill a guy who's illegally trying to enter my house.

It is the same. It is the same. It probably should be allowed to kill a guy who's illegally trying to enter my house. It is the same. Yeah. It is the same. It probably should be. I mean, a big problem with this, again, we're talking about warrantless searches. A police welfare check of a residence without a warrant is generally permissible if the police officers have reasonable grounds to believe an inhabitant inside a residence is in an imminent danger. So someone calls up and they tell you. Yeah, swatting. They can just come in and they go well

you know it sounds like i couldn't wait for a warrant you know that guy might have he said he was off his medication he could have done anything yeah but you supported all that covid shit didn't you shut up shut the fuck up i mean it's such bullshit uh not to mention and this is shut the fuck up and this is one that'll hit close to home home for you. In Canada, the Vancouver police say they seized more than 170 guns from a senior's home in South Granville after conducting a wellness check last week. Most of the 170 firearms were vintage and from the Second World War, but they were not stored safely. All your guns going away because somebody says,

oh, no, my grandpa might be sick Can you guys go check? Yeah, and we'll take all his stuff All his guns If he has any cash laying around Yeah, we'll see that as well Scoop that shit up, fuck him This just feels like a major legal loophole

That should not exist There's no law What is stopping anyone from like Oh, you know, oh, I know a guy and he has a lot of guns. I'll just tell the cops he's crazy and then we'll go take all of them. Or, you know, they have some grounds now because a random person called you to call in our wellness check?

Yeah. It's crazy. Isn't that those red laws? The red flag laws? The Dan Crenshaw? That one eye? Oh, one eye. Oh, one eye.

Israel Dan Crenshaw supports. eye Old one eye Old one eye Israel Dan Crenshaw supports Dr. One-Eyed Israel McManus I wish he got both eyes Fucked out of his head Okay In Afghanistan

What is that? He's Republican For some reason When you go at that guy Like you get a whole bunch of grief I don't get it I don't know why No I could go at him

Because I'm on the right You can go at him Yeah What do you call it? Who was that SNL kid could go at him because I'm on the right. You can go at him. Yeah. What do you call it? Who was that SNL kid who went at him and had to give a stupid apology? The one with all the tattoos. Oh, Pete Davidson. Yeah, Pete Davidson made a little joke. I think he called him Solid Snake or something.

I don't even know. It was like a stupid joke. That was dumb of him because then Dan Crenshaw went on Saturday Night Live. Yeah. And then guys were like, oh, wow, he's so tough and cool and makes all the gravy seals at home. And like, oh, look at him. He's so like out of shape, but he looks fat on television. Babe, isn't that just like me?

I'm just like, and he made this like cult of being fat and obnoxious and having a beard. Yeah. And having one eye. He lost that eye in a bathhouse. Did you know that? Shut up. That's not true. He went in. Go ahead. He had that eye in a bathhouse. Did you know that? Shut up. That's not true. He went in.

It was a gay bathhouse in Afghanistan. Sure. And he was there for gay stuff. And he thought that the glory hole was trying to peek in to see the little boys, the Baca boys. You remember that? You know what I'm talking about. You've heard this too.

The T-Boys The Boxy boys The Boxy boys That the Taliban kept out That they stopped it And he said He thought that's where the chai tea was And he looked in

Okay Taliban Oh no Fucked his eye right out of his head Wow And they could have put it back But he was so busy Blowing that cock

They could have put it back But he was too busy blowing that cock. They're like, bro, all his army guys are like, bro, we can put that eye back in. We can put that eye back in. He's like, no, I gotta suck this cock. It's so big. Did you know that about Dan Crenshaw? Well, Mr. Crenshaw. Did Pete Davidson

say that? No, he didn't. Fuck Dan Crenshaw, that fucking asshole. Thank you for your service, Dan. Thank you. Yeah, thanks a lot. You got another eye to give to Uncle Sam, bitch. Get out there. Get back there. You didn't give enough. You didn't fucking give enough, Cyclops.

Fucking get back out there. Get back out on the field. Get back out on the fucking field. He just had to take a peek, didn't he? Couldn't say it is curiosity. Well, Dick, regardless of what Mr. Crenshaw may or may not have contributed to this country. You know how many eyes Israel has in it?

How many? One eye. That's how much he loves Israel. He's like, oh, it's got one eye. He wanted to identify with Israel. I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore. Wellness checks, Dick. You talk about the fucking police. That's my problem. What a problem.

And again, thank you, Mr. Crenshaw, for everything you've... Thanks for your service, bro. I have no idea what you did, but I'm sure it was important. Thanks for your service, bro. Thanks for your service, bro. Thanks for your service, bro. You dropped your dogs. I wonder if some... Thank me for my service.

I wonder if some Taliban-y Has his eye In like a glass case Is a trophy? Yeah Yeah it got poked out By a dick So who knows where it is

Who knows? Who knows? This is my problem Philistines Alright Do you know what a Philistine is? Aren't those Someone who doesn't

Appreciate art Yeah But that was They were an actual people They were a people What's the origin? I don't know what the origin is They just hated

Well bring in Philistine And don't give me the origin A person who's hostile Or indifferent to culture And the arts Because they have no understanding Of the arts Okay

So it's someone who doesn't Appreciate The finer Things of culture and the arts It better not be directed at me. No. Because they're too, well maybe, I don't know. Because they are too stupid. This isn't related to a certain comic book, I'm hoping.

No, no. No, man, you put an ad for your wife's Etsy in your comic book, you're fucking dead to me, honestly. Like, that's the most... I mean, somebody's gonna be flipping through that In a hundred years And they just go What the fuck is this shit

Philistine Because they're not sophisticated They're not sophisticated enough To understand the art Okay Okay I wanted to look it up The contemporary meaning Derives from Matthew Arnold's

Adaptation English Of the German word Philister Okay Which was Aimed at the Antagonistic relations With the townspeople English of the German word Philister, which was aimed at the antagonistic relations with the townspeople of Germany, where a row

resulted in several deaths. Philistines. They're not sophisticated. Yeah, they're considered low people because they murdered a bunch of people. Low IQ. They don't understand art, and this is the art I'm talking about what the fuck come on i know what this is this is a this is a sophisticated you fuck you what this is a sophisticated art ai generated art program

i generated yes a computer generated this and there's you didn't know that? No, I did know that. And that's why I'm mad about it. There's an infinite number. That means, if a computer generated it, that means there's an infinite number of this broad, of any type of broad with big old cans, unbelievably sized cans. A computer has been designed to generate pictures of skinny, achievably skinny broads. Achievably skinny. With unbelievably sized tits.

Unbelievably sized. This is so fucking terrifying on so many levels. So the- I have no idea how you are not horrified that art has been reduced to a computer algorithm. You sound like a Philistine. I am then. You sound exactly. You sound like a Philistine. I am, then. You sound exactly like Michelangelo 25 years after. What did Michelangelo say after the invention of what?

After he painted the Sistine Chapel, he was met with immediate controversy from the Catholic Church who said it was shocking and disgusting. Because the figures were mostly nude, and they made him put fig leaves on the genitals because they weren't sophisticated enough to understand the art that he was drawing. The human form!

This is the human form! This is the human form that's been generated here! You're as bad as the Catholic Church! It's not the end product that bothers me. It's the creation of the image that bothers me. It's the the creation of the image that bothers me Caravaggio a painter painted his life is pairing this to actual art his life Picasso Picasso

Guernica perhaps you've heard of it probably not because you are a Philistine capturing capturing the immediacy and the panic of the bombing of Guernica by Hitler's buddy Francisco something or other In the 30s Monet, Manet Van Gogh All Shit on

By By unsophisticated Philistines like yourselves Computer Generated mockery of the human technique. I'm sorry. And human striving for excellence. A computer has stolen.

Have you ever felt more strongly about a piece of art than this? I haven't. Yeah, you're right. I've never felt this angry at a piece of art. Look at this. Did I have it up on the screen enough? I don't know. Have you ever felt such a connection to a piece of artwork?

I'm so sad. Why? Because I just like, what happens? Because you're a Philistine, just like these people that I'm talking about. You are going to start generating everything and removing the human element from art, from society, from culture. That's what they said about Andy Warhol. You're just repeating shit that critics said.

Andy Warhol at least made shit. That's not what people said at the time. They said you're just repackaging shit. It's just like a commercial fucking mess, what you're doing. People like you. I'm not saying I love Warhol. People like me are saying I appreciate the craftsmanship. Let me put it up on the screen.

You're going to wake up in the morning and a computer is going to generate a TV program. A jack off of me. Well, it is going to generate a porn that is just, yeah, exactly suited to your taste. You will never be challenged in any way to find anything new. It'll just go. I doubt that. This guy likes huge boob titty ladies. Yeah, but.

And all your TV programs will be reprogrammed to have huge titty ladies. Like that My Little Mermaid. You're not even going to have to worry because when you go in, it'll automatically scan your brain and be like, this guy wants a mermaid who is Mexican and has huge cans. And midway through the show she takes off all her clothes

and vomits all over his dick. Okay. Okay, so what's next? While singing Part of Your World. And I know you want that. Uh-huh. Everyone does. It's art. It's called art.

Trillions of dollars. You're so obsessed And I know you want that. Uh-huh. Everyone does. It's art. It's called art. It's called art. Trillions of dollars. You're so obsessed with making money with your comic and your comedy that you don't understand people like me appreciate the beauty of art, the shared experience, celebrating what is human and humanity. It's so solid. So what? That a computer made it? A person directed the computer to do it. No, a person typed in 18th century chick with huge knockers and small face.

It's fucking wrong again. That's Victorian. I don't know what era it is. Victorian huge knockers. And people are shitting on it. You know, I actually thought that the anti-AI art people Were like on to something And they're all upset

They're like these computers are taking our jobs But then you saw this I saw this and I was like you guys are done That's it Go away Don't say another word or you'll be killed They are I mean The job aspect of it

I don't know what we do. It's like, I saw an article recently that was like, are you in art school? Drop out now because you're going to be replaced by computers in the next 10 years. Well, yeah, but honestly, you're probably not any good. Like, if you... I don't fucking know. Why not? Who knows?

Because most art that's generated is just shit to sell like Coca-Cola. Like the polar bears, right? Like the Coke polar bears. A lot of people worked very hard on that polar bears? Yeah. A lot of people worked very hard on that. The Marvel movies, a lot of people worked very hard on that,

but it's all trash. It's crap. None of it's art. It's all just built to bilk money out of... It's all built to bilk welfare money out of low IQ morons

who are not even smart enough to give it to patreon.com slash biggest problem. That's true. What are you going to do when an AI can just mimic our voices and create a comedy podcast just by feeding it the current events of the day? And then we have nothing. No AI. I liked biggest problem, but I prefer Zandorf and Galcomon,

the two robots who scream about feminism and fat woman is fat. I'll do a clip show. This is a very real problem here and it is not the problem that you have brought. No, I mean, really. Okay. I really want you to think about this. The guys that are, that are freaking out, the guys that were freaking out about the pre-Raphaelites, Picasso, Andy Warhol, Cezanne, Picasso, Van Gogh, all of these guys, Michelangelo saying this is horrible, this is sacrilege, they all felt the same way. They're like, this is the end of our world. cannot this cannot be allowed to happen and that is what we're seeing a reaction to this beautiful she doesn't even have a name because i'm gonna argue that i think okay maybe those guys were wrong okay but i i think there actually does become a point at which accessibility to tools and technique is at such a low level that it becomes a detriment to society. And I'm going to give you my example is TikTok. I just want you to give this dumb speech with this.

Is that AI? I don't even know. That's the best part. No, that's not AI. That's not. So you still know. So you know. So you're able to tell I'm able to tell sometimes

Look at these boobies That one's fake Wow That's AI No that's AI I know I'm saying her eyes That's AI Cause her eyes are fucked up

Cause her eyes are dead They're even better Cause she's dead behind Look at that one Doesn't even have a head Mama Here's the problem When the technique Becomes available To idiots Who have put in Even better. She's dead behind. That one doesn't even have a head. Mama. Here's the problem.

When the technique becomes available to idiots who have put in no. Who are you talking about? Other people? I'm saying that I'm already seeing people taking this AI art and they're making comic books out of it and whatever else. And I'm like, you have not put in the time to understand form and function. The computer does that. No, it doesn't, though. And we're going to get, like, way worse art because now complete amateurs can fake it.

Look at the cheeseburger. Yeah, it's at a weird angle. The angle is designed by the computer. Like with YouTube and TikTok, it used to be, like, to make videos, you had to, like, get a video camera and study filmmaking, study editing. like to make videos you had to like get a video camera and study filmmaking study editing yeah any idiot can make content and the content has gotten so bad and there's so much trash that we're just buried we're buried in it and this is going to create endless trash because there will be no barrier to entry yeah our world is about to become So ugly

And gross and fake And generated by computers But you'll get all the porn you want So what do you care? Congratulations So you're saying that, like, don't you think that's a little Like, I grew up with this Like you grew up in the perfect era Of expression

No, I already lived in an era that was probably a little too far past gone The 90s? Um You better think about that I know you're not Shitting on the 90s I think uh Well I think the problem

With the 90s again Was that Giving No we reached a good level Of access I don't know I guess you're right It depends on the medium

You know Okay Like I think Uh If you wanted to know Like the best period level of access i don't know i guess you're right i it depends on the medium you know okay like i think uh if you want to know like the best period for like literature it's not like now yeah clearly like now books are trash but don't you think this this computer shit lets people who are like not technically skilled express themselves in a new which is bad oh. Oh, that's bad. Huh. If you're not technically skilled, you don't deserve to express yourself. Yeah, that's going to be laughable in like 40 years. In like 30 years, your kid's going to come to you and he's going to say, Dad, do you want to watch my movie?

It's called Mr. Bear Has a Fun Rainbow Adventure. And it's like amazing. It's going to be two and a half hours long Pixar quality movie. And it'll be great Made by your kid It'll be fucking perfect You don't want that? No You don't want your kid to go

Hey what's up I got Here's the movie And it's this The mind of a child I don't know if I want it I'm pretty sure I don't You're afraid of it

That's where the Philistinery comes from Well there is a part of me That goes If it's really good If like a five year old kid can just make A perfect movie with the help of a robot Dude my nephew

What's the point of anything I'm doing right now No but see that's just stinking thinking It is stinking thinking That means you should not be hung up And you should just express yourself Completely at all times And trust your instincts. It's like I worked my fingers to the bone in the communist, you know, farms.

Oh, yeah, you look really like. I'm giving an example, not me specifically. Okay. You're giving an example, but you haven't lived it. Well, I'm just saying that's how it feels. It's like it feels like you supported the great socialist move forward. And at the end of it goes, you know what? We're just not doing it.

There's nothing more communist than this. All that work you put in is, well. There's nothing more Marxist than what you just saw on the screen. All this striving, this constant grinding, this endless attempt to make and create. And my kid's going to show up and he's going to go, yeah, I made like 10 comic books last week by thinking about it. Yeah, but you have Photoshop. Don't you think that's like the same?

There is. Photoshop is interesting in what it gives you ability to do. Yeah. Yeah. Don't you think that's like the same as making these big boob ladies? There's some of that. There's some trickery. My nephew sent me a PowerPoint that he made.

Yeah. With actual pictures. He's five. You said a five-year-old. Yeah. This is the funniest thing I've ever made with actual pictures. He's five. You said a five-year-old. Yeah. This is the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. I can't. Maybe I could put it out, but it's like going through.

It's like how to. It was like how to something with a baby. Yeah. It's like somebody has a poop, and the poop turns into a baby, and then it gets yelled at. And then it's like Gilgamesh It was a whole fucking powerpoint Yeah and he knows it's retarded

I'm like this is the funniest shit I've ever seen in my life I'm like do you still have that? He's like I don't know I'll look for it I'll send you the PDF I feel like you gotta put that on the show I fucking need it The creativity of the show We'll see where it goes

I think this is horrible And I hope they ban it And kill all the programmers Involved In Minecraft Man We'll see Nothing's changed Nothing's changed

Look all you people All the consumers I'm sure are very happy All the creatives And the people who actually Make the things that you watch And consume No that makes

The thing that I want to consume Yeah I know I know Congratulations Are you done? Is this it? Are we done? I'm just getting started You fucker No, that makes me terrified. Yeah, I know I know congratulations Done I'm just getting started you fucker you motherfucker Imagine how much agency it takes away from women You can't you can't every problem

cannot be Okay, wellness checks. Well, you know And they're mostly against men. So you should feel you know, you should really vote for the problem. Well, you know, uh, and they're mostly against men. So you should feel, you know, you should really vote for that problem. Okay. Okay. Moving on. Dick, you ever spill shit on your keyboard? This keyboard is destroyed. Yeah. Boom. My problem is spilling shit on your keyboard. What is the deal? And not just keyboards, but really any piece of technology that is near beverages. Yeah. It's like, it's like every time it happens, you go, I'm never going to spill soda or whatever

all over this keyboard. I just, I won't do it. I know I'll keep my thing away and I'll take care. And then like literally like probably once a month, I just go again, again with this shit. The remote Your phone Your laptop if you're one of the Unlucky enough

It's just like what do we do Shouldn't we have a solution to this by now Isn't it like acetone Can't you dip something in it to get rid of it Like if you take all the batteries out And pour a bunch of rubbing alcohol On it or something It's so common that you would think that...

Because even the phone manufacturers, they'll be like, oh, sorry, you got it wet and that's not covered by your insurance or whatever the hell they call it, your phone, fix it up. And you're like, well, that's how it's going to get damaged,

the phone thing. Shouldn't you have a protection? Shouldn't everything come with a protection plan to protect against the water? Shouldn't they figure out... We can just throw it away. Yeah, Shouldn't you have a protection? Shouldn't everything come with a protection plan to protect against the water? Shouldn't they figure out- We can just throw it away. Yeah, well, that's the thing is never buy a fancy keyboard. You ever buy a fancy keyboard?

I don't know that you could buy fancy keyboards. Yeah. What do you call it? The mechanical keyboards are usually pretty expensive. What the hell is a mechanical keyboard? A mechanical keyboard is one that uses the old style caps where there's like actuators switch. And I don't know what they are. They're switches, though, instead of right now, it's like instead of a rubber mat.

Yeah. Clackety clickety click. They're good. That's one. That's the one reaction. OK. Sometimes gamers claim it gives them the edge. It's more tactile.

Some writers like to hear the clickiness And I loved having mechanical keyboards I would even seek out the blue keycaps The whole thing What the hell is that? The switches have different colors Depending on the exact motion of the spring And the connectivity

Oh, so you were one of these guys that had it I always had to get a blue And blues are the hardest ones to get The Cherry MX Blues But they made the nice little clickety-clackety. Oh, really? They're the most clacky keys you can get, the blues. How much are they? I would get them for like 80 bucks, but like a really good one is like 300 bucks,

if you want like a really nice one. How do you search for them? How do you search for clicky-clacky? I mean, I would search by the key caps, Cherry MX Blue. Cherry MX Blue? Yeah Cherry's This isn't like Some kind of

Child molesting code That I'm typing in Woo What do you call it Cherry The key switch With the ideal feedback Yeah

Okay Oh Very clicky Wow They'll even show you See all the ones at the top The MX Red The Speed Silver

Oh shit Alright MX Brown And this is the best at the top The MX Red The Speed Silver MX Brown And this is the What the fuck do I do with this? I think if you go down Oh, here Play sound You can hear the clickiness

Okay Oh, yeah Oh, the blues are my That's what I want Alright, get out of here Get out of here I think they even have Like a cross section

That shows exactly How the switch is impacting. See, it shows you how much pre-travel, how much total travel. Okay. No, I could understand that. Yeah, it's pretty interesting. I hate playing digital keyboards, like instrument keyboards, because it just feels like nothing. But at this point, I had to stop buying them because, you know, once... They'd last like a year. You know, they last a couple soakings in Mountain Dew.

Oh, yeah. It's like x-ray porn. I'll probably get another one at some point. But it's just like, I think back on all the keyboards that have been ruined. Well, yeah. Do you not have a mouse now? Oh, look at that. No, because I've spilled so much beer on this keyboard and not replaced it.

Because I know as soon as I replace it, I'll immediately spill on it. Well, then you also, you're like, I mean, I can take the caps off. I can clean the whole thing out. I can use a Q-tip to try and get all the stickiness off. But even after that, there's always like one key that's still fucked. And then eventually the whole thing goes. I mean, look.

I know what people are going to say is they're going to say, well, just stop drinking at the keyboard. Those people don't matter. You can have a beverage while you're're working even if it's a glass of water. It's still a problem My dog got dirt in my laptop keyboard Yeah, so one key sticks no matter what and I can like blow I pulled the keys off the sticky key And it won't go down because there's a pebble of dirt in there And then you can't figure out how to get the one little bit of stickiness uh-uh i i wonder if that's even the

biggest problem it's like if you have like a like a playstation controller and one of the keys just like one of the buttons it's just stickier than the other ones yeah yeah so again it's it's spilling something the sticking on your keyboard spilling something. Spilling on your keyboard. Spilling on your keyboard really is what it is. I mean, everybody's experienced it. I don't know how much I can sing it up. I don't have any stats for you.

But I know you at home are going, yeah, I know what he's talking about. I know some of you are going to go, no, that's a fat kid problem. You're just drinking too much. No. You've spilled something on your keyboard. I don't care what. Every keyboard I have is, like, ruined. And you. You just drink it too much. So now you've spilled something on your keyboard I don't know what every keyboard I have is like ruined and you can't just get it if they put like some sort of like Protective coatings what you can swap out every time that like this fucking this dumb plastic thing But then you have those I remember on the old the ones that like school they had like this whole plastic like overlay thing that

Was yeah, but yellowed or whatever what am i what am i like yeah now i'm annoyed looking at it that i'm not spilling on it like now i've been using it i'm just like well maybe i'll just pop it off for right now but then what's the point now am i gonna hear my cherry mx blues dick i can't believe that i gotta buy a new keyboard because now i'm looking at that and i'm like oh fuck it Splurge Buy a new I do miss that keyboard I'm gonna buy one of these computers That does the art The beautiful art work

Oh fuck you I think You can buy art You can just buy a computer So don't you have to get access To these AI programs Like someone has to give you access I got access right here

Bop bop bop Okay well I don't know What that means exactly Yeah someone has to give you access I think Mr. Girl just got access To all that stuff Oh the Dally one Yeah I don't want that one means exactly. Yeah, someone has to give you access. I think Mr. Girl just got access to all that stuff. Oh, the Dally one? Yeah.

I don't want that one. He's going to start plugging in Cuties, Prequel, Kindergarten. Oh, and that's art? That's art. I don't know what's going to come out. Oh, sorry, that's comedy. Oh, okay. So Mr. Girl is allowed to do art.

I'm not saying I approve of Mr. Girl doing it. I'm just saying he has access to it. And I look forward to seeing what comes out of his fucking head. Because it's comedy. It might be funny. Which is art. Look, if these two, I also wonder what the legality of these tools is. Because some of them you can say, like, do it in the style of this artist.

Can a computer just analyze all your work and how you draw and then take that and allow other people to replicate your specific style of art? Yeah, of course. No, not of course. What do you mean not of course? Bullshit. Have you seen these websites? What do you call rock and roll?

Have you seen these websites where they feed in voice models of different voice actors and cartoon characters and you can make them say whatever you want? Yeah. That's their voice. You can't just do that. Nah, fuck them. Intellectual property. All these people are making like fucked up My Little Pony porn with the actual voices of the characters.

Great. What's wrong with that? What the fuck is wrong with that? Jesus Christ! You sound like the Catholic Church! I feel like the Catholic Church. Michelangelo is horrible. Look what he's doing.

He's fucking drawing God and shit with his wiener all out. That's outrageous. It is funny that when you're like, yeah, but we can use it for porn, I go, okay, I mean, that is a very good argument. But other than that,

because porn is like a whole other realm. It's like, yeah, you should be able to do whatever you want Cause people are jerking off to it But you know everything else has rules Okay is that your problem? That's my problem My problem is

Mandatory evacuation Notices Really? Yeah mandatory evacuation Have you ever been subject to a mandatory evacuation? Yeah, because I grew up in a fire area. What is it? Is that what it's called mandatory? evacuation order order Mandatory evacuation notice I guess did I get that wrong California standard evacuation?

Terminal oh, it's gotta be ordered because that's news popped up Yeah, cuz I grew up in a fire area So I was like oh The fire is you know 106 miles from here Mandatory evac Everybody get out

Everybody get all your Shit and go And you're like Uh What happens if you say no Like well We might come back And arrest you

Like well I might fucking back and arrest you. Well, I might fucking shoot you if you try that, and then you'll just burn up, right? And then there'll be no evidence. Because all this shit is going to burn up at any moment, right? A hurricane's going to come through and just wipe everything out. So we have to be out of here. I guess it'll be really inconvenient to come back and arrest me if I don't leave my house during the fucking apocalypse,

you fucking jackass. Get out of here. Fuck you. How about this? Oh, big hurricane's coming. Yeah. It's a big one. They're saying it's a real big one. You should probably leave your house. Thanks for the tip. Well, how about mandatory evacuation tips?

Yeah. They gotta give a tip. How about a mandatory evacuation thank you? Like, oh, thanks. You're right. You have to thank us for warning you. You have to thank us.

Legally. Legally. It doesn't have to be sarcastic. You can go, oh, thanks so much. Thanks a lot, tiny cock. Sir, I will accept that.

Okay. All right. That is your right by law. Oh, I'm so sick of it. And all the people why wouldn't, oh, can you believe that people, dumb Republicans sitting in their house still because they don't think the hurricane Yeah, what is the justification for

a mandatory evacuation order? They do it all the time. They love getting on TV and saying and pretending that it's such a big deal and that it's so, the fires are so bad, the hurricane's so bad, the hurricanes so bad, the tornadoes so bad. Oh, we gotta, we had to evacuate everyone. Well, I guess they have to say it's mandatory because otherwise people don't take it seriously.

Because it's not serious. Yeah. And I'll tell you how I know it's not serious. Because I looked it up. Sometimes it's serious. Every once in a while. Every once in a while. But not all the time.

Not all the time. I looked up, and you'll know if it's serious. Every once in a while. Every once in a while. But not all the time. Not all the time. I looked up, and you'll know if it's serious. I looked up how often it was unnecessary. Zero stats. Oh. On how often, like how often did they really need to leave? Was it like, did it just go over them and it did not matter? They just made fun of people who didn't do it.

They just said, well, men are more likely to ignore it because they're retarded or okay because they don't want to be bothered because their house and they don't kind of go anywhere yeah the only time i would think i float the only time i would think it is justified would be in the event of a nuclear disaster in which case remaining in the area could cause you to uh oh fuck it What are you gonna outrun An ICBM? No but I'm Like if you're in a Radiated area

Not a missile But like Japan And then all your shit Might be nuclear contaminated And you start taking it Out of the zone And moving it to other parts Of the fucking state

Or whatever Oh yeah If somebody said like Oh the nuclear reactor The nuclear reactor's melting down You actually have to leave It's like nah You don't have to finish the sentence.

You just be like, the nuclear reactor is melting down. Like, you got it. Some guys might stay. Some guys might go, eh. Fuck them. I've lived through a couple cancers before. There's that one guy. You're right.

There is one guy who lives in that irradiated wasteland in Japan. He just takes care of all the animals. Oh, yeah? He's like, I'm 90. Why do I fucking care? Why do I care? It's fun. Who am I to get cancer of my vagina?

Like all of you guys who left here? I don't think so. He's like, it's cool. I hang out with all the wild dogs and shit. This lady did a research that said... Did a research. She identified six reasons Why people ignore mandatory evacuation Notices

One cause they're cool Two cause they don't take no shit Three cause they want to see some shit go down Don't take no shit Four Yes that's correct I mean that would be correct That's why I know this is a fake thing

Four your wife is leaving So you have the opportunity to be left alone and hang out. I'm going to eat all the cashews and say the hurricane swept them away. Five, you can steal shit from all the other houses that are abandoned now. Looting opportunities.

And six, because dying in fire is pretty cool. Yeah, dying's cool. And what's the point of being alive? What's the point of being alive? Number six, what's the point of being alive? What's the point of being alive? Number six. What's the point of being alive? Who cares?

Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. I could easily get in a car wreck. Someone could rape me while I'm getting away. You might get raped. You gotta stay at home. I'm gonna stay here and do some raping on my own. Exactly.

Do some looting. Yeah. Oh, all your shit. It's a lawless, fiery wasteland where man's law no longer applies. Your TV washed away. Oh, no. This area didn't even get wet. I know.

That's what makes it so crazy. Have you ever really wanted to go looting? All the time. What do you mean? Every time I see one of these disasters, I'm like, oh, man. I remember when Katrina happened and people were looting the shit out of everything. Yeah. And I was like A teenager at the time

In high school I'm like man If I was a little bit older I would have drove down To New Orleans I'd be swimming Into people's houses What would you go for

Jewelry Jewelry seems to be The big ticket item Yeah I'd be looking for I don't feel bad About stealing jewelry You do or you don't

I would feel bad I would go If there was like Pictures in the house Where the girls were hot Yeah Then I would loot the there was like pictures in the house where the girls were hot, then I would loot the jewelry and like return it to them. Oh, it's like you saved it for them. My dick sucked.

Yeah. There was like some Walmarts and stuff that were waterlogged, I think. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, during the Black Lives Matter riots, we were both there. I was watching Luton going on. I'm like, if I wasn't streaming, I'd be grabbing a couple things. You'd be grabbing stuff?

Oh god It looks so fun You weren't there the day That I went down to Long Beach And witnessed the looting No They cleaned out a GameStop In like two seconds And you were streaming for that?

Yeah But I got there like Oh you should have stopped streaming I got there honestly though A second late Like The whole store Had been picked clear

There was like 60 kids in there of indiscernible racial heritage. And they're just Caribbean from Barbados. I think they're probably Japanese or something. And God, like vultures picked it clean. Yeah. Only thing left was like Xbox live cards on activated on the on the pegs. Google Stadias Google Stadia Google Stadia bucks

Or whatever But it really was Man I want to go to Ukraine Oh and loot there I don't know if I would loot I would not loot Human trafficking

I would not loot Get on Tinder Just I've realized Ukraine There's nothing more fun Than the adrenaline of those situations I would imagine

It's the same as A fire coming down on you As you're looting your neighbor's shit What would you loot in Ukraine? A tank A couple guns To kill people or just to have Drive it around

And then wreck it Take that Putin and Trump Oh, tank. Couple guns. To kill people or just for to have? Drive it around and something, you know, fuck around. And then wreck it. I'm going to wreck it. Take that, Putin and Trump. Take that. Take that. Yeah. I just want to, man.

That's why Afghanistan sucked so much because you're like, well, war is fun, but these guys aren't. What are you going to steal? A bunch of beans? Yeah. Who gives a shit? At least like Ukraine. Like, oh, what do you got? a bunch of track suits i'll take that that's cool cool nice what is this like a die-hard suit dead russian guy got on him oh he had like a watch and some shit yeah what kind of shoes you got you got shit here from like

1985 nice like a mouseketeer watch i'll take that shit with a jacket with album cover painted on the back and yeah nice deaf leopard shit cool i'll take it i'll take it afghanistan was like what the hell is this like a bunch of mud and camel shit that you made a i want to be in the shit dick i want to go to ukraine the problem is you know clearly it's problem is you're Kind of out of shape Oh Well, you could train for that I could train What if I got in shape and I go to Ukraine?

I just Well, it'll still be going on By the time you get into shape There's journalist guys who are like there And they're like embedded with the troops or whatever Yeah I would do that And do what?

Just, you know, be like Hey, what's going on? But like what? Did you know Be like Hey what's going on? But like what? Are you gonna shoot anybody today? I guess you're right What is there to report on really? What are you gonna steal? I don't wanna steal

If I'm in the Whatever What? I just want You can't have GameStop in Ukraine No But it was great Those uh

You know Watching people fight the cops Yeah You know Fighting with each other. It's like lawless. It's like, man, it is most primal. I would love to be on a looting spree and like a target.

Yeah, is everybody just going nuts? And stealing all the Legos. See, everybody gets mad. You see the guy stealing the Legos? And going around and poking the holes in like all the baby formula. Just walking down, grabbing scissors. And all these poor people are like, what on earth? What the fuck are you doing?

What the fuck are you doing? Next time there's a riot, I want to know. I want to go. You're going to blow your back out, though. You're going to get in shape. I should have been at January 6th. I should have been at the Kenosha riots. What would you have done

at January 6th? Would you have stolen anybody's stuff? I don't know if I would have gone inside. I wouldn't have stolen anything, no. I would have gone inside.

I think I would have gone inside. Well, they didn't get, not everybody who went inside is in trouble, right? I don't know. I think if you went inside and you're just kind of like,

I don't know, a bunch of other people are inside. I just came in on my own. Like that lady from the Cracker Barrel? Did she get in trouble? Yeah, the old lady. No, I don't think so. Who got other people are inside. I just came in on my own. Like that lady from the Cracker Barrel? Yeah, the old lady. No, I don't think so.

Who got in? The shaman got in trouble? Only the guys who were on, like, the Senate floor. Yeah, if you, like, really went deep into the building, or if you broke shit, or if you took shit, or if you yelled at the cops in a not nice way. Yeah. I would actually just fuck up the carpet.

Yeah. That's what I would do. I'd stencil my name Into George Washington I would like melt a candle And get a bunch of fucking Candle wax in there In the shape of a dick

Here you go Replace that So anyway If anyone knows Of the next great civil unrest I guess we gotta wait For the elections Uh

The night Biden gets reelected Oof I'm gonna watch you guys Burning everything When Trump gets stolen Yeah once When we steal it again When Trump gets stolen Yeah, when we steal it again Okay, but you know what's actually gonna happen?

Is that a bunch of you right-wing guys are definitely Gonna try and steal a whole bunch of votes this time Because you feel justified Nah, they don't do that, I wish that was true I think they will, why would they not? Because they don't think like that It's hard for me to explain to Like a criminal like you

Right, because I'm on the criminal side. Because liberals, they just easily go back and forth between crime and life. It's nothing. Crime and lying. But right-wing guys can't do that. And the poorer and the dumber they are, the less mindset for criminality they have. Whereas liberals, the poorer and the dumber they are, the more likely they are to be. I think they just found like a Republican official in, actually the news story.

Did you see that news story where it said a Biden era appointed judge like steals votes? Yeah. And he checked and it was like a Republican guy. You go, you can't call him Biden era. He's one of your guys. No, no. That's bullshit. You guys steal votes and you go,

yeah, but like he did it while Biden. They don't cheat. I don't know what to tell you. They don't cheat. Shut up. That's been the whole Republican thing. No. Ever since Watergate. That was nothing though. You guys put tape on the doors, Dick. Oh, that's what Watergate was That was nothing, though. You guys put tape on the doors, Dick.

Oh, that's what Watergate was? Nixon put tape on the doors? Do you even know what Watergate was? It was listening devices. That's what was... The president had a listening device? That's what was bad? In Watergate, I believe that they put listening devices in the Democratic National Committee hotel rooms. And Nixon did it?

No, Nixon's buddies did it. And Nixon says, I didn't know they were going to do that. Probably didn't know. It was G. Gordon Liddy. What was he? He was like, right hand man. Shut the fuck up. Stop trying to... You always do this trivia session

where it's like, explain literally every single thing that happened at Watergate. It's been a while since I read the fucking story. I know the basics of what happened. Yeah, but you don't even know. You think he's a criminal, but you don't even know. Then you tell me. He did nothing. Okay, there you go. It's bullshit. You go like, oh, you left

out the part where this fucking thing happened. I know the gist. Some guys did dumb stuff like recording whatever. Yeah, recording whatever whatever you can't leave fucking listening devices on your political enemies as the president that's fucked so you think that it's bullshit that they spied on trump then uh sure okay all right that's my problem um mandatory evacuation notices give me a fucking break Fuck you Stop going on TV Making a

Pretending like it's such a big deal Yeah They're so excited Every time they do it They're so excited to say it And they're so excited To make you look stupid Cause you're like

Well I mean I don't know You guys have been wrong In a lot of stuff COVID made a lot of people Like have both palsy And stuff This is very much A COVID problem

This feels like You're just bringing A COVID problem In disguise in a way, but sure. If you stuck it out, hats off to you. Hats off to you. So what if your house got messed up? Yeah.

If you were wrong, if you're one of the few people that were wrong when the government says get out and you don't get out, that's too bad. But you still made the right call. It sucks when you get hit by those hurricanes. Okay. What a show, guys. What a show. Don't forget to vote on the problems. Mandatory vaccination.

I know I didn't tell you to vote it up in a fun little song, but you should do it anyway at biggestproblem.show. Dami Pesos might have a stinger. A voted up stinger? Well, he has one more stinger. I don't know what it is. I don't think it's a voted up stinger. I don't think it's a voted up sting. I don't really.

Hold on. He really likes the echo, I've noticed. Not a lot of rhyming goes into these. It's really just... Philistine. Philistine. Mansory evacuation on his Philistines. What was yours? Wellness checks.

Wellness checks. Spilling shit on your keyboard. Spilling shit on the keyboard. Okay. What a show. And we got a great bonus episode as well. Yeah. You should listen to at biggest...

Patreon.com slash biggest problem. Okay, here we go. Hey, Vito. I love your shorter attention spans problem. I love it even more when Carl brought it in the week before. Love you. Did, who brought it in the week before? Connor?

Carl Carl's was social media Yeah, but he said it was like Messing up here Carl said Like that's why I complained about Carl's problem Is that he brought in a problem that was so broad That I said

We're going to have like a bunch of other problems And every time we bring it up People are going to go Yeah, but that's just social media Yeah, but you did it the next week. Whatever! It's different and it's not just social media. It's TV. It's the movies you watch.

It's everything. It's not just social media. Okay. Well, that's just that guy's opinion. Asshole. Hey, Vito, you fucking cocksucker. Yes. I'm not even 20 minutes. No, I'm not even 20 minutes. No, I'm about 20 minutes into the fucking bonus episode.

Really? Really? You don't like French fries? I don't like French fries. You don't like French fries? Go fuck yourself, man. Dude, look, first off, I would rather fuck a large fries from McDonald's than fuck a woman. That's how fucking fantastic they are.

And tater tots. You don't like tater tots? Yeah, that was crazy. Crunchy on the outside. And soft on the inside. And it's got a salty taste to it, bro. The fucking tater tots are delicious. And don't get me started on every other variation of french fries which goes above

pretty much any other side dish possible. Waffle fries are a gift from God. So don't talk shit about fucking french fries bullshit right and also i think i know why you don't like french fries i think you all know why it's because you look like a potato so you eating a potato product so you don't have to fuck yourself all right love the Love the show, guys. And I love you too, Vito. Don't worry. Oh, thank you. There are great things you can do with a potato.

I'm not denying that. Is it because you look like a potato? No, it's not because I look like a potato. That had nothing to do with the problem. Yesterday, you know what I did? I ordered. Ordered new lips? No, I didn't order new lips.

I got fish and chips. Oh, there's my new eyes. And fish and chips. It came with rice my new eyes. And fish and chips came with rice and french fries. And I ate the rice. Fish and chips with rice? Yeah. What the fuck are you talking about? They're like, what sides do you want?

And they have a bunch of sides. I'm like, I don't know, rice and french fries. And I ate all the rice. That's not fish and chips then. It's fish and rice. Well, the chips were also there. I ate like two of them And I was like The chips are the Fucking fries

Yeah I ate the fries And I didn't like Very many of them But I ate all the rice Cause I legitimately Don't like french fries Rice Is better than french fries

I'll say that Oh man I love rice Okay Whatever Hey Dick Hey Vito. Hello. I'm going to be honest with you.

You guys have broken me. You have broken me. Every time I hear someone say, to be fair, I just imagine, I suck cocks every fucking time. Fuck, dude. I'm a broken man now. Someone at work says, to be fair, and I'm just like, I suck cock in the back of my head. And I start laughing.

And it's like, what do you like about it? I'm like, you wouldn't get it. I'd have to explain a lot of things. Yeah, you would. Anyway, have a nice day. Go fuck yourself. Well, you idiots brought this on yourself because I was perfectly fine.

I didn't need calls on this one. Oh, man. He hang up, like normal. Just hang up, motherfucker. I had no problem with using that word common as a common part of my vocabulary. TBF. Oh, oh, oh. And then for some reason all these people started sending messages, you know, why does Vito say that all the time?

We should punish him for saying it. So you guys created your own little hellscape now. No, I created it because I get fucking fixated on what people... No, not because of them. Because I just hear it. Every time I hear shit like reframing shit like that, I go... It's like a fucking ad that you're trying to fucking reframe something to make me buy it. I'm like, I don't want to be manipulated.

I have effectively removed that phrase. Good! I said it in a YouTube video, I don't like being manipulated. Can you just let me have, like, I have effectively removed that phrase. Good! I said it in, like, a YouTube video recently, and now I get comments, and they're like, in 40 seconds in, you say it, and I'm like, I'm allowed to say it here! It's not like a rule everywhere! It's not like the rest of my life I'm never around to use that phrase! Stop!

Stop pumping your fist. That I'm now being policed in real life. I'm making you aiced in real life. Dragulence, bitch! I'm making you a more effective communicator. This is bullshit. You do not need to reframe. It was effective communication. It is an effective phrase.

No, it's not. It's a lie. It's a fucking lie. It's a filler and it's a reframing device to trick people. Communicate your ideas directly. You guys are idiots. There you go. your ideas directly.

You guys are idiots. There you go. Hey, I just want you to bring this up to Vito, if you will. Okay. Vito

is clearly making a grift out of anti- anti-woke marketing. I know. Like,

I get it. Like, I agreed with him on the anti-woke marketing. I know. Like, I get it. Like, I agreed with him on the anti-woke marketing. I think it's bullshit. I think it's stupid. Thank you. A lot of people are pitching equal or lesser products on, you know, all the arguments he made. But dude is seriously, like twitter like okay so i'm

watching and or uh star wars show and i think it's good i think it's fine i like it i also like i like that lord of the rings show really yeah it's criticized like the guys making the anti-woke marketing grift and he's like this is stupid and woke and racist But the guy's making a valid point all the tribal South American oh my god. Yeah, it makes no what are you talking about? It makes perfect sense in Star Wars equal version of like Like pygmies or whatever fucking weird tribal South American shit exists There's like a little tribal like kids that got left behind These are not in South America

...version of that and also the guy's Spanish accent is very distracting Oh he has a Spanish accent? He's saying there's too much Mexico in Star Wars now Do they have space pinatas? No! Bshhh Bshhh Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh In Star Wars now they have space pinatas. No There's a bunch of guys who are no there's one guy who said I don't know why they put this Mexican remember we were talking about that that Jeremy guy. Yeah, I said why is this fucking Mexican guy in my Star Wars? He's good-looking and I called him out. And then because the thread got like, you know, 10,000 retweets, I said, if you want

like good Star Wars critique, you can go to my YouTube channel. That's good. And he's saying that's anti-anti-woke marketing. Yeah, you are kind of being like an anti-woke, anti-anti-woke marketing guy. I guess. Aren't you? You're like, come to Vito. I got the hot takes that aren't anti-woke marketing.

Mine are genuine. I've got the genuine takes over here, Effendi. And they're like, no, no, I got the genuine takes over here, Effendi. Don't you want my genuine takes? And you're like, no, no. Those takes are woke marketing. Anti-woke marketing. Mine are anti-woke marketing.

It's a very convoluted. I don't know what you're doing. You went from like Italian to. It's like a bazaar. It's like a bazaar where I don't know what you're doing. You went from like Italian to. It's like a bizarre. It's like a bizarre. They're all trying to sell you crap. Oh, you got my tabool. It's the most powerful.

My tabool. It's a lesser woke. It's an anti-woke marketing right over here. As I tweeted out and you agreed with. No price, no price, Effendi. I said my comic book is so anti-woke that I didn't put any black people in it because they might tempt me to start talking about racial equity or things like that. I like that you did that. That was funny.

So there you go. So that's how you know my book is even less woke than Eric's book, which has black people in it. So at some point, he might accidentally add a theme that seems racist. That's true. Yeah. What are these going to gonna do not talk about it at any point it could happen what are they gonna do on juneteenth just say nothing does does isom celebrate juneteenth i mean that needs to be addressed within the book you're not

gonna get that from me i have a kickstarter that i'm doing It's just, how long is the comic book? 35 pages? Yeah. It's 35 pages. 48. 48 pages of my wife's business. An ad for my wife's business. That's the most anti-woke comic I've ever heard of. She's going to be a realtor. It's very anti-woke.

Very anti-woke realty. Not my wife, actually. Don't put ads in your $3 million comic book. There's no need for it. You can put ads for the next book that's coming out And maybe the t-shirt That's available to buy Not for your wife's Fucking jewelry

My wife's got a My wife's got a Lock repair Lock smithing Auto repair AA Anti-woke Auto repair

That's page one My female cousin Is uh She's working on some shit All the ladies It's all my wife Only the wife My wife's got

Bicycle repair shop Every page She's got a bicycle repair shop Every page She's got a Cookie store It's very bizarre That he put a jewelry ad in there It's fucking retarded And pathetic and sad

And dumb Eric buddy If your wife didn't tell you that was a fucking stupid idea, get rid of her! Dump that bitch, you fucking moron! I mean, that is true. What the fuck are you thinking? Your wife should have said, no, you don't need to put an ad for my jewelry business. That would be silly.

I don't even know how these people exist together. It's very bizarre. Here, wear a veto. Here, look. Will you sell my fucking ad in your book? Here. I'm very bizarre. Here, oh, Vito, here, look. I saw my fucking ad in your book. Here, I'm making bracelets. Okay. Here, I'm turning

bottle caps into pugs. Will you put an ad for that? It's weird that, like, the audience can't say, yeah, that's a little tacky. You know? Maybe don't do that. Why did no one stop him? Well, that's the other thing is you would expect, you would expect, like, an editor to say, well, that's kind of weird. Maybe just do, if you want to do something nice for your wife, yeah, put like a little

message in there for not a weird ad for her jewelry. How many bracelets is she going to sell? Well, that's the other question I had. This is like millions of dollars. I'm like, is that really going to boost your sales? Is anyone reading through a comic book? And they go, oh, a bracelet. Do you remember in Inception when halfway through the movie there was that

intermission so Christopher Nolan could sell his wife's branded diva cups to everyone in the audience? And she just squirted a bunch of period and was like, go check out fucking Chrissy Nolan's diva period cups. You know like when you go to a Steven Spielberg movie

and like half the trailers are for his wife's line of skincare products or whatever. It's like, that's not a thing. He's not getting ripped up for this. Okay. Well, what a show, Dick. We've got some super chats, huh? Yeah.

Why don't we read some of those? Wow, there's so many. Oh, there are a lot. Not enough, but there's so many. Yeah, there should be more. Mike Hunt for two. Can't make large fondulas in Cyberpunk 2077. Can you not adjust the breast size?

I don't know what that is. It's a video game. You can choose the penis size of your character. But there's only two sizes, a big boy or a little bird. And you can put it on a lady character because we live in the future. You're wrong for $4.99. Dick, who has the best stinger, Vito or Dame Pesos? That's for the audience to decide.

Well, Dame Pesos. No. No, you can't color the audience in that way. They have to go on the website and pledge their support. Dick loves being sober, says Plasma Snake 3 for 5. Yeah. And he respects body positive women. Yeah, absolutely. Fantastic.

Tiny Vin for $4.99. My favorite part of an old podcast was when one of the hosts talked about how Penn and Teller used selective editing while doing it to his own show. What an asshole. That is pretty good. Carl Froman for $1.99 with a super sticker. Thank you. That says

something. I don't know what. It says great job, I'm going to assume. Okay. John Olsen for a big $20 on the board. Wow. Thank you, John. My brother is engaged to a theater girl, but they can't get married until 2024 because he has to save enough money for them to spend their honeymoon in the Star Wars Hotel honeymoon

suite. The same one Han and Leia... Did he really say the same one that Han and Leia stayed in? Or she said that. Yeah, whoever said that is the problem in the relationship. Is that real?

My brother's married? I'm looking for a to be fair, but I don't think... No, there's no to be fair in there. That's a real thing? That's a real thing. Well's a real thing Well, we know I've done a lot of videos about this Star Wars hotel And, um God, it's embarrassing Dude, when they say

If anyone has a problem with this wedding You gotta go Yeah, me There's this, uh This smoking hot chick, though Called, uh Southern Disney Belle And, uh

She's I'll be the judge of that Oh, Southern I'm gonna win this Bell on Instagram Casual Star Wars nerd She's been sending me She went to the Star Wars hotel

Shut the fuck up And she's been sending me all the inside Bits I think she's gonna go back Hold on Ooh Okay She's got better ones I don't know where

Those are kids? I don't know Okay Some man lives with this Lives with what? This smoking hot chick? Yeah but she's always like Getting attention on

Being Star Wars She dressed up as Jabba the Hutt She likes Star Wars That's her thing she dresses as the characters all right anyway i've been uh talking to her because she's going back to the star wars hotel oh are you gonna swoop in there meet up with her i'm thinking about a little veto i can't afford it but i'm trying to figure out if there's a way i could go and film at this hotel because it's uh it really is terrible. You

versus the guy she told you not to worry about. She's talking about you here maybe. I'm the guy you're supposed to be worried about. Look at that. She's got all sorts of costumes and everything. She's a great Instagram follow if you're into that thing. So maybe you guys will see her in the Star Wars Honeymoon Suite.

The same one that Han Solo made love to Leia Organa. And you're gonna be there? Getting her pregnant with Kylo Ren who grew up and killed both of them. How romantic. Weird. Chris Cotter for $1.99 sends a sticker

of a chair that looks like it says Oy Vey. No, it says on set. Well, I'm gonna say it says Oy Vey. It's a director chair Makes no sense Kara Froman for a big 20 on the board We need like a fucking What do you call it?

Press your luck sound effect Not that one That's negative Okay that's pretty good Peer pressure JK Vito I follow Monday Night Grift and Dick. I'm subbed to your podcast. Come on, guys.

Not just to play. I know you're not. I know you subscribe to everything else, but I think you found us through Andy originally. I found Andy through us. I could be wrong. I just, I see her in Andy's chat. Thank you, Kara. I thought I see you in Andy's chat.

I see you in here all the time too. David Gomez for five. I heard Ralph tried taking on Carl. Ralph doesn't sound cut out for the internet. Tell me again, Ralph, how much you don't care and haven't heard of X or Y. That was an interesting show. That was great. They've made up now.

Ralph killed it. They're friends now, right? I don't know. Lance Becker putting a big 20 on the board. What is happening here, folks? What is accepted as entertainment in 2022 is the biggest problem. They're already making a dramatized version. Depp v.

Heard trial on Tubi. I know what you're doing. I knew someone was going to try and do that. I knew the second that I reported that there was a Johnny Depp movie on Tubi I said I know someone's gonna try Someone's gonna try And use that

Anyway Affairs of celebrities that occurred four months ago Is not worthy of a television series Lance Tubi Affairs, that wouldn't count anyway Tubi Affairs, you're right Tubi Affairs, you got an A in that that wouldn't count anyway to be a fair. You're right to be affairs is you got an a in there Doesn't count still good. Try Lance good try, but I predicted it. See I'm like one step ahead of these guys now

Yeah, I know I know all their tricks and you thought about it even when you announced it on Twitter. So it's really exactly The one the best way to get me as always is to have a topic that is related to something we've talked about. Uh-huh. And to just sneak it in there like so simply. Right. That I'm just like, oh, I'm passionate about this topic and I just read through it and I don't stop myself. That's the only tip I'm going to give you. Yeah.

John for two. And so begins the great stinger war of 22. Let me be clear. I'm not doing any more Dami Peso stingers. That was a one-time thing. He's going to be you. John for two. And so begins the great stinger war of 22. Let me be clear. I'm not doing any more. Dami peso stingers. That was a one time thing. He's going to be doing them a view. That's fine.

I just, I wanted to make my one return. There's only so many songs I can do about Dami pesos being a homosexual. I think I would grow exhausted. David Gomez for two love Dami pesos, but rest in peace. Vito's stingers kill. Beautiful. Petty for two Vito. Youesos, but rest in peace. Vito's stingers kill. Oh.

Beautiful. Petty for two. Vito, you voted for wellness checks. Fuck you. They had them before Biden. Mike Hunt for two. AI art is fake. It's 100% human controlled.

I don't know what that means. You think there's a guy back there like sorting through them? Yeah. Before he sends them back to you? Oh, no. Not before he sends them back to you? Um Oh no Not before he sends them back to you No Okay

But the ones The big boob ladies Are all Handcrafted Yeah well they're like They're like sorting through The bad ones And finding the good ones

I don't know Petty for five Mel Gibson Inebriate scallywag That he is Is our Caravaggio I agree Which one's Caravaggio?

The artist Yeah I know that But like what did he paint? Fucking paintings You have no fucking idea You don't know Miles Wilson from 999 Vito make something similar

With the human element And prove you're not a philistine That's a good idea What I might create Is a comic book Called Superkiller Available now at superkiller.org Not available now

You gotta sign up For the mailing list When's it gonna be ready? Well I'm working with the artist The art's cool Is it gonna be bloody? I did like the thing you said What if this Batman got killed?

There's gonna be blood People getting murdered It's just, you know It's a process The artist sends me a bunch of art. Yeah. I send him some suggestions. He sends me an email saying I quit.

I send him an email saying, let me give you more money. You're fired. Yeah, you're fired. You can't quit. You're fired. And we see how it goes from there. Crack ass cracker for five. Okay.

Kato completely misunderstands art. Are you talking about it? Are you feeling something? It's art. End of discussion. Okay, so diarrhea on the side of the road is art. Because I'm talking about it. Oh man, who left that fucking diarrhea all over the street? That's art right there.

Well, how many people are talking about it? It's not what you're talking about. Killing somebody, that's art. because everybody talks about it, right? All right, you got a point there. That's true. Kara Froman for five. What Vito's describing in The Loss of Human Touch of Art is basically the movie Idiocracy. No, ass.

You don't want to see ass? You don't want to see that movie Ass? It was just a guy farting for two hours? Was that in the argument? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, what are you doing? Baiting it baitin baitin that will be the future Eric Wong for two two youtubers two stingers two beefs I Know what you're doing doesn't count a fair game two beefs fair game

I don't know counts gentlemen sausage for five Hungry hammer veto is out here pushing the labor theory of value on Swill that took more effort than it was worth over quality AI-generated high art. Fuck you. Oh, God, that problem's going to win, isn't it? General Zeptic for $1.99. iPatch John McCain is a WEF neocon shell. I knew that would get your audience riled up.

Spook Horse for five. Vito is just mad since all his time and effort haven't amounted to anything. I have a popular podcast. Iookhorse for five. Vito is just mad since all his time and effort haven't amounted to anything. I have a popular podcast. I have a YouTube channel. I have a card game which has sold millions of copies. Time and effort haven't amounted

to anything. I hate all of you. God damn it. I'm fine. I'm perfectly happy with the amount I've accomplished. Mike Hunt for two. All art is garbage Quote Dick Masterson Yeah it is Uh wait

You forgot this one Uh Michael Winning for $4.99 Vito has some balls Talking about putting in time and effort Where's your comic at I announced the comic officially Like two months ago

That's true Alright It's just you hear about it Cause I do a You listen to my weekly podcast And it's what's going on in my life Cause they want it They're craving super killer. Yeah, I know.

It's getting there. Okay. You gotta build... Look, I wish I didn't have to market it so ahead of time. It's impossible to market anything these days. How many jewelry ads are you going to have in your book? Ten at least. One for every woman I've secretly

been collecting. General Zeptik for $1.99 is math trash when you use a calculator that is different? That is a stupid argument. Meximan and Cheese for $5. Vito was afraid it was never his technical skill holding him back, but his lack of original ideas. Very good psychoanalysis. I know it's holding me back, and that is not what it is.

Miles Wilson for $4.99. Vito only complains about a fake past. Police used to be fine to do wellness checks. Art used to be so good. Now books are trash. Here's $5. $4.99. $4.99.

That's true. Should have sent $5.01. I don't know if you're allowed to do that. Again, it depends on the device. It does. Apple won't let you send a round number is what I've been told. We'll get on a device that lets you send it Yeah, that gives us the penny

That's bullshit Mic hot for 10 Australian So I don't even know what that converts to Probably nothing based on the exchange rate Yeah When all AI art is controlled by big tech There will be no more big fangla halzulas

And people will turn to human artists For correctly sized gazongas. I don't think so. I think gazongas sell hamburgers. Gazongas sell vaccines. Go big. Look at these big old tits. Get a vaccine.

When Fauci appears on TV, he will be replaced by the government with an AI programmed woman who is your ideal woman. I'll take whatever vaccine she's got. Whatever she's got. Biden will be a 16 year old waifu

with cat ears. Well, in computer years, it's different. It doesn't count. Okay. John for five. Going to feed Masterson's voice into an AI and start my own podcast called The Prick Show. Then we'll see how he feels about AI-generated art.

Ooh, you're not going to like that, Prick Masterson. Prick masters in. Jew H for a big 20 Canadian dollars. Land of the true and the free. As a former wild land faller and firefighter, 100% agree, Dick. Ministry and federal firefighters are not good and overpaid. I can cut a hose and prep better than any tax burden. Yeah. There you go.

The fireman himself says it. Guitar hero for five. Biggest problem in the universe Having a crush on a girl And mistaking friendship for interest Then finding out she's a lesbian And has a girlfriend Fuck both of them

What are you talking about? Come on What are you sitting there thinking like Oh yeah Oh you're Attracted to Women Like you go home

I don't know You're talking about the movie Chasing Amy now Oh there's someone Made a movie about And that one Weezer song How lesbians are faking it What's that one Weezer song

I don't know I'm a creep I'm dumb She's a lesbian I thought I had found the one Uh She's just been Kicked around by too many men

So No Stop with this like You can change them thing you can fuck obviously you can but like why waste your time this is for laughs just for laughs having a crush on a mistaking friendship for interest no you didn't you didn't jew age for five says hose laid derp hose the derp What the fuck does that mean Petty for two what's the patreon gold

Send veto to Ukraine let's do it David March for ten do you two guys think jokes Are funny yes I think we do What's up David David March is the ledge I believe that means legend We like David March me and David went to He's another Andy guy

And when we were in Vegas We played a little video poker and I taught him how to scream at the the Asian the virtual Asian woman who deals the cards Oh If you play they have the virtual poker But it has like a like an anime or like a digital lady who like deals out the cards really and the best part is you Can call her whatever you want. Does she know it? No. Oh.

So she goes, dealer has blackjack. And you go, you cunt. You fucking piece of shit cunt. Fuck you. Yeah, they'll kick you right out for doing that with the real ladies. In real life, yeah. I hate that. You should be able to berate the dealer.

Yeah. That's the only good thing about AI is that it will allow me to get out my rage at losing money in video blackjack. It's making me angry. Although we ended up, I think we did end up both up in the end. Mr. Abtruse for a big $20 on the board. Wow. That's what we need. Vito, I'm having trouble on the home front.

My beloved wife Head-hazed Has suddenly started identifying as a man And this is potentially damaging to my extremely straight reputation Any advice? Your woman identifies as a man You identify as a woman Yeah, and then it's straight Then you're still in a straight relationship

Easy And tell her If she really wants to be a man She would have bigger boobs to yeah that's true establish her dominance jack wax macaques for five the biggest problem the universe is confidently incorrect people in related news my father-in-law is staying with us please swat me oh my god i'm sorry about that jack's herb beta patched for 4.99 soul in art is dumb what the fuck does that come on i don't know what that means the difference in a piece of art

having soul or not comes down to whether you told veto it was ai generated no i can tell yeah they should do it they should do a test they should put like 20 things It's like AI generated or not And you have to figure it out Yeah You know how you figure it out? The human art is worse Every single time Yes it is

Butthole Weeb for five Have me on Masterson Got a bone to pick with you Admit you eat mealy booty dude Alright That's the show Bone to pick indeed Real quick I want to show our most popular supporters

We love you and thanks for everything We'll be coming back To you in October what a month it's gonna be And we'll update the list of supporters Dickheads and veto files both If you want to get on the list for October Don't forget to head on over to patreon.com slash biggest problem and sign up as a dickhead

plus or a veto file plus. Regardless of who you sign up under, you can enjoy our new bonus episode. The biggest problem. Super size edition featuring all your fast food problems you deserve and love. Thanks guys. Thanks for all the super chats. Take care of yourself. Go fuck yourself.