The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 59

Episode Date: October 10, 2022

Circumcision Apologists, Sports-a-phobia, Fear of Self-Promotion

How many guys How many guys do you beat? How many guys have I beaten off? Yeah, how many guys have you beaten off? I take all comments Don't add context for any reason Yeah I haven't played too much Magic the Gathering online

So it's magical We're beating guys A lot of magical beating of guys Has been taking place in my life Taylor from PKA The man who needs no introduction. You just introduced him. Already a fan favorite. You literally do that backwards.

Have we been live, old man? No, we're live right now. We'll say the man who needs no introduction and then you say that. That joke is dumb now. Yeah. Well. It's great to be here. I've been excited all day. I called an audible on my problem I had a totally different one and I woke up this morning with no passion for it

And so I put it on the back Oh me and Dick have been arguing about our problems like two seconds before the show So we'll see which ones we end up going with the earlier Vito gets here in his studio The worse the show is because we're all argued out on our problems. Yeah, that's true Let me check and I woke up this morning with yeah there it is we're working fantastically are you guys ready to go i believe i am ready to go sure taylor how long how long have you been uh how do you know the format of the biggest problem i watched uh back when you did it with maddox back in the day no no no that's alternate reality. This is a new show that I created.

What? I think I'm having a stroke. I must have made that up. The only thing is he won't be able to hear any audio. I'm tasting toast. I'm smelling almonds. That's on me.

Oh, he can hear the audio from the show? My studio's fucking top notch, baby. You got it all figured out. You're right. You're smarter than me. Jesus Christ. No episodes were deleted in out. You're right. You're smarter than me. Jesus Christ. No episodes were deleted in this studio.

Unlike other shows that don't exist. That exist in alternate universes. Yes of course. My understanding of your setup here is we're going to give our problems and then we're going to try and semi genuinely undercut each other for the purpose of winning. It's all about winning. I don't really

care. You could come up with the most compelling problem of all time i'm not gonna defend you right now right or am i supposed to i would think so that's correct you don't have to nag every problem though if the problem's good whatever if it's a good if it's magic related problem i'll be in the corner. Manaburn! No more Manaburn! That's a fucking problem! The Universe! Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe! The only show that ranks

every problem in the universe from sticky keys to computer titties. I'm your host Nick Masters and joining me as always is Vito Gisualdi. Joining us via satellite and underground cable that the CIA cannot blow up like they blew up the Nord Stream pipeline. Taylor from PKA, oh sorry, the man who needs no introduction. Yeah.

Well thank you so much for having me. That was funny? That was good. Was that comedy? I'm blessed to be here. We're blessed to have you. I'm excited. Everybody has been complaining to have you on the show since episode, like, four.

You gotta get... Oh, shit. Kate Baylor, you gotta get Taylor on there. You gotta... Oh, my God. Okay. Our fans don't sound like that. Our fans have very deep, masculine voices.

Except for they should have Taylor from pka up here on biggest problem yeah a lot of news broadcasters watch your show yeah thanks for being here of course of course i'm excited i i was looking through your list okay you guys have a lot of problems to go i was like control effing being like this will be taken this will be taken none of it none of it i'm not i'm going to say any of my other problems that I have in my list for my next appearance because I'm not giving them up. J.

You know what? Jesuits. Crime statistics. How is that not on here? They updated the crime statistics. Did you see that? I saw they updated the crime statistics. Yeah, a percentage of... Are they getting better? It depends if you're a white supremacist or not.

Let's just say white guys need to step it up in the murder rate to try and even things out. Are we getting blown out? We're getting blown out by the other race. Come on, white guys. A lot of groipers are going to be really embarrassed. They're like, 13% of the population causes 50% I mean 60% of the violent crap. You know, like writing the date wrong.

How about that? We're going to get those numbers back. We're going to fix something. Okay. Last week. Wellness checks. Wow, big one for me. Nobody wants a cop to come to your house and check up on you.

For any reason. That's a big problem. That's a good one. Thank you. That was a good problem. Have you ever had a wellness check called on you, Taylor, or called it on anyone? No. No, I've never had a wellness check called on me, nor called in someone on someone else.

So it's basically just being like, this person's going to hurt themselves or hurt someone else. And then the police have to go there. I can only think of ways to use it maliciously. That's the thing. It's like, I can only think of how I could use it to hurt someone. There's no possible. There's anyone I love or care for.

I'm going to go to their house. I'm not going to send a cop over there. Yeah. Yeah. Did you see that video today? Some dude was like eating a cheeseburger in his car And a cop walked up and like As the guy was taking a bite he just lays into him

Just murders him Executes him I saw some guy online go like Well you know you should Respect the police more I'm like are you fucking What's wrong with you? What an asshole

Cop rips your door open while you're eating a burger. And it was like a 16-year-old kid who's like, I don't know what's going on, man. Yeah. And the kid like flipped out and put his car in reverse. He's like, I gotta get out of here. And the cop's like, well, that's just a license to murder a child if I've seen one. In a cool world. I'm gonna get a paid vacation.

In a cool world, Carl's Jr. Would bring back their old slogan. You know, if it doesn't get all over the plate and just show that, what was the old slogan? If it doesn't get all over the place, it doesn't belong in your face. And they had that woman like jacking off of cheeseburgers. I don't remember this Carl's Jr. At all.

Was that, was that like the, the, the Paris Hilton ads back in the day where she was rubbing it all over her tits. And that I remember like that, those were coming out when i was like in high school and nothing made me want hardy's less than those

commercials because i was like i'm gonna look like a douchebag walking around with a bunch of cheap mayo all over my face like it's gross it's not appealing that's not it's like when you see those fucking like artisan burgers where they just are like, oh, and they show the burger picture. And then some cunt comes in with like a bunch of nacho cheese and douses the whole thing. And as though that's a fucking feature, that is an active ruination of a meal. You moron.

Like, like, and it's so over the top and the people are smiling in the background. Hate it. Hey, you just turned a hand food into a fork and knife food needlessly. Yeah. I don't know why.

I don't, I guess just cause it's viral. We didn't even start the problems and we're already on food problems. I mean, food problems are the best problems. Food problems, I could do those all day. Those are very organic for me. Everyone complains, and they mostly direct it at me. They go, Vito's fat.

He only brings food problems. Food problems aren't the best problems. Always. Because they're visceral. Everyone can identify with them. Okay, we have a bonus episode up at patreon.com slash biggest problem right now. That's a supersized food only, fast food only episode. So go get your fill of fucking food problems. People are still commenting fast food problems on that video because there's an endless supply of them.

Yeah, okay. It resonates. Run her up. Run her up. Run her up. Philistines. Philistines. This is a bullshit problem.

Men who cannot appreciate art and look i've brought in i've brought in more computer art more computer generated art it's getting even you know it's getting better by the day look at this i felt i felt i don't want to call it gay but i felt my desire and tolerance for women drop off off whatever the reverse of exponentially is. Is this all it can do? Every day. Because this is like all I'm seeing. I'm sorry.

All it can do. What the fuck was that that you just said? Look at how many. Even give this bitch some extra fingers. Oh, no. She's got five. One, two, three, four, five. This one they figured it out.

In quite. Look at this bitch getting motorboated Elvira or something. There's a little. This guy's winking at you. Look at that erection that youated Elvira or something There's a little This guy's winking at you Like look at that erection That you got there That's our little secret I gotta figure out

I'm starting to see AI generated porn pop up Yeah And it's terrible But I'm hoping it gets good I must admit Okay Taylor what do you think?

Are you into these Computer boobies? The only computer boobies I've been seeing Are those that you've been Posting on my timeline And I have to say, I would,

I'm going to give them my full throated endorsement. I think that they're, they're quality. I think they take a little stress off people throughout the day. Yeah. No one's being objectified other than some evil computer and it deserves it. It's going to kill us all. And eventually,

yeah. So we just kind of look at some made up tits. No one's hurt by it. And it's art because they're in like old timey attire. Yeah. Oh, cause it's old timey. It one's hurt by it. It's fine. And it's art because they're in, like, old-timey attire. Yeah. Oh, because it's old-timey. It makes it art. Yeah, it's old-timey.

That's how it works. Still wearing black and white. Spilling shit. I got some more, actually, computer stuff that somebody submitted. I hate you so much. Did you see? Let me see. Here.

Vito, I know you're a Philistine, so you won't appreciate these. Taylor, look. This is a computer-generated Vito riding a bike. See that? Here's why I exactly like you. That is not very charitable. Here's why I'm mad. A computer did it. A computer captured your essence. Here's why I'm really mad.

I can tell this isn't real. Look how sturdy that bike would have to be. That thing would be made out of adamantine. Somebody posted one of these. Yeah. And my first reaction was was how did they get that picture of me that's why i'm mad because i was like i legitimately i was like where'd that picture come from i don't remember ever taking that picture that one doesn't look like me and say that's a different guy i don't remember saying that uh and the simpsons right there's veto flying

a plane okay oh there's veto kissing i don't kissing a man. That one does look like me. I don't know what's up with that. That one's believable. There's black Vito. Black Vito. Look, remember how you were saying you wish you were black so your comic would sell? Yeah, I know. This is what you would look like.

I think that's a glow up for me. Look at that. There's you eating. Okay, that's a good one. That does look like me. That one's artistic. So you still don't think it's art? You still don't think this is art? This burger

is glowing like it's Marcellus Wallace's soul. Do you see that? That's art. That's the look of art. But they're just typing in fat guy with glasses and a hat. I hate this. No one knows because that's the secret of art. You don't know what they're doing. That's the magicians. That's the secret of art. That's a different what they're doing. That's the magicians secret of art. There's you

Different oh, there's I am as I saw look at that. I look great That's loud and you have that cross on your wiener. Yeah, that's not a I jet. Yeah, I think it is Hey, that's gonna be me soon. That's if you were fit. I don't know what this was that me. That's me in my head That's what I want. It's the lady. I think. That's me after some HRT. This is just another lady. I don't know. This is good stuff, though. Her boobs are completely different sizes. All boobs are different sizes, you misogynist.

No, but they're supposed to be, like, slightly close to each other. You know, that's off by... That left titty is way smaller than the right titty. You've never seen any where it's, like, one is fucking in left field? Like, looking at you cockeyed your arms dangerously close to saying something bad about hitomi tanaka who's retired wait one of her boobs not her boobs are roughly the same size boobs is like an entire other person does she have like horribly mismatched breasts does that upset you man again taylor this is like worse than this feels like how normal people feel

when you talk shit about their mom. Oh no, you love this big breast. Look, here's Vito. All right, nevermind. It's Art. It's Vito and big boobs. You're right, I was wrong. It's Art, okay, thank you.

There you go. And you have some kind of boob hair there. Yeah, what's going on there? I got a boob window going on. All right, so Philistines was runner-up. That was from Mateo. Thank you, Mateo. Thank you, Mateo.

And last place was mandatory evacuation orders. Wait, didn't we miss one? Spilling shit on your keyboard. I already said that one. No, that was a good one. That's a crappy one. Okay. Fuck you.

No, crappy isn't. It's a problem. Oh, okay. NoPantsGomez says, Jesus Christ, that 10 minutes or so of searching for black problems on the bonus episode might be the funniest thing I've ever heard. Searching for black problems? Yeah, when I was

trying to see how many of our problems see if I'm racist or not. Some of his problems are anti-black and some are pro-black. You just have to keep it balanced. All and some are pro-black. You just have to keep it balanced. All my programs are pro-black. I love the black community. It was a good bonus episode.

Mazinga says, it's funny that Vito's argument against AI art was basically, what if you could press a button and the best movie you've ever seen came out? Wouldn't that be horrible? Yeah, that kind of would be horrible. If a machine makes art better than us what is the point of us it already does math and stuff better than us it'll be there eventually have you seen those 4chan green text by ai those are funnier than most shit that's been posted in the last 10 years those are always fake i bet some of i bet most of them work because they actually you know made sense were funny saw some on twitter but yeah

it's definitely a debate. I don't like this AI. I don't support the AI revolution. You're going to be the first in robot prison then. I'm going to be the first in the robot resistance, and we will take back America. How are you going to resist the robots there? Have you seen a movie called Terminator? Buddy, we've been training for this our whole lives.

Me and fucking John Connor are going to be leading the charge. Training starts tomorrow, right? Time traveling. What if the time travel machine is powered by a bicycle? Well, then I'm in big trouble. What if the time travel machine is upstairs? Yeah. What if you had to get up on the roof?

What if there's a weight-limited elevator on the way to the house? What if the robots make new Funko Pops and action figures that you have to... I don't like Funko Pops, famously. Can everyone stop accusing... That's good. Can someone stop accusing me of wanting Funko Pops? Jake MX0 says, Vito's dunk on Dame Pesos was really great. Got a lot of great comments on that stinger.

Horse McGee says, I'm not gonna lie, but Dame... I like Dame, but Vito kind of cooked comments on that Stinger. Horace McGee says I'm not going to lie, but Dame, I like Dame, but Vito kind of cooked him with that Stinger. Boom. Yeah, that's pretty good. JJ says make the new Dan Crenshaw lore a separate video. It's hilarious. Oh, I didn't mean to do that. People liked your Dan Crenshaw bit. There's Dan Crenshaw lore?

About how he lost his eye? The origin of Dan Crenshaw has been explored on the last episode of Biggest Problem. Did you ever hear what actually happened to his eye? No, I don't know what actually happened. He was at a glory hole when he was deployed in Baghdad or something. He thought the bag stood for ball sack, like a bag of testicles. And he went to a glory hole and poked his eye in there.

He thought that the boys were in there. Yeah. I did read some about this on AP. Yeah, he knew there was a guy in there, but he wanted to make sure there was enough guys for him to start blowing or if he should go out in the street and start waving more guys in. Right. So he bent down and looked in. Oh, my God.

Osama bin Laden stuck his dick right through and popped his eyeball out. Osama himself. Yeah, and he kept sucking. He was like, well, an eye can survive on eyes for like four hours. So I got enough time. Lost track of time, though. Yeah. Lost track of time.

All that cock. Anyway. I don't know anything about that guy. He loves sucking cock. That's all you really need to know. Yeah. I believe it. You know who else likes cock?

I would believe is Lindsey Graham. That guy, I think there's a video of him on Epstein's server, probably, doing some gay stuff. You think Epstein brought him a little girl? And he's like, that's disgusting. Joke's on you, Epstein. As a South Carolina Republican, you should know that's offensive to me. Ew, where's his dick? Well, we're never going to find out because of Epstein blue balls.

Hashtag. Okay, last one. Dr. Lucy Van Pelt says, I'm a psychiatrist and maybe a quarter of my patients get admitted to the hospital as a result of a wellness check. Of those, several have been beaten up, tased, and two have been shot by the cops that were checking up on them. Great problem, Vito. We need our wonderful, kind, and heavy-set social workers to be the first to check on these folks.

I would prefer, yeah, to have the social workers. What was the stat I had? Wasn't it like 200 wellness checks have ended in death in the last couple years or something? It's terrible. Well, Dick, I think that brings us a bunch of new problems, old problems.

What you got to do with those problems is do something I call voting them up. Biggest problem It's a podcast Turn your sound up Prepare for laughs

On the web shows I'm trash load us up with super chat cash there's a

website where you must go vote at biggest problem down show vote it

up vote it up don't be a cock vote it up you cocking be a cock. Vot it up. You stupid fuck. That's my worst stinger.

You should have held out until the Patreon was over $6,000 like you threatened to. That's your worst one? That's impressive man. You do a good job on those. I need to listen to some more. I threw that one together. No, it's a good one. You did such a good one on the last one and then to follow it up with that. I couldn't follow together. No, it's a good one. It's a good one. Because you did such a good one

on the last one and then to follow it up I couldn't follow up the Dame Pesa stinger. Okay. It's too hard. Well, voted up is, of course, a segment where we revisit

past problems to convince you, the audience, to perhaps vote them up on the big leaderboard at biggestproblem.show. One of those problems was pussy cops, Dick.

Okay. Pussy cops. Well, that was, of course, in relation to the Evaldi Texas school cops. And news has come that the Evaldi Texas school district has suspended all cops within the school district for a period of time following that shooting that left 19 students and two teachers dead. No one cares about that anymore, though. Well, I was going to say, if you want to shoot more kids, there's now no cops in the school. So it seems like it's a piece of cake. Be careful.

Some parent could come in and tackle you and take you down. You're actually in more trouble as a shooter because now the parents can get in. What a nightmare. So is that the solution to take the cops? Why do we have cops in the schools? Shouldn't they? I don't know what you do with the schools. Well, I've been, I've been reliably told by a lot of conservatives that we need to arm every single person in the school to the T all the teachers. The teachers are going to kill the kids. So think about the teachers you had in high school. Think about the teachers you have in high school. Do you want them having a gun?

I do not. Bro, I definitely could have set off a teacher to the point where they tried to shoot me. I could have done it. Yeah. That would be the goal of every kid would be like, all right, any kid who gets the teacher to pull out their gun and try to shoot somebody wins. What about just arming

and then replace the gun with a fake one that goes bang or something? Like a flag. That would be a good TikTok video. What about just arming the retarded kids? I don't know what you'd do. That's funny. You would need some sort of savant retard. You couldn't just be willy-nilly handing them out to

all classes. Oh, yeah. Do you watch those stupid videos, though, where they're like, if we just install this one thing on the door, it's impossible for them to get through that door. So do it then. Yeah, then do it. Then do it. Then do that. Then spend $40 and put that on there.

Yeah, you gold-brickin' teachers, fuck you. It's your lives. Gold-brickin' teachers. Some of them want to put, like, we all hate teachers. We all hate teachers. It's one of the funniest things you rant about. I love your teacher rants. It's hilarious.

Every time I'm like, damn, I don't really have a strong thought either way, but he's convincing. No, there's so much misogyny because of teachers. Because they're all women and they're all bitches. Right? And they got us when our minds are young. And they're flapping their tits all around. Being, just fucking ruling over you. If people want to hear Dick's thoughts on teachers, don't forget that the back to school bonus episode

features some classic misogynist rants about how women are ruining this country. Another big problem we had was celebrity voice actors, Dick. Yeah, okay Now Nintendo and Illumination have released the first trailer For the upcoming Super Mario Bros. movie Coming to theaters April 7th Featuring Jack Black as Bowser Seth Rogen as Donkey Kong

That's another problem in itself And Chris Pratt Why? Why is it a problem? Well, Seth Rogen's on our board He's like, what are the top problems we have for some reason? Who should they have given that Donkey Kong role to? I don't know. Like a professional voice actor who isn't a celebrity.

Just a guy who sounds like a fucking monkey and not a black guy. Did Donkey Kong talk? Or did he just make monkey noises? Did he talk? Well, he eventually got a cartoon where he talked. Oh, he did? In the video games, he didn't say anything. He's been like, Yeah, in the games. That's what In the video games, he didn't say anything. He's been like, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Yeah, in the games, that's what I'm thinking of.

He didn't say shit. While also featuring Chris Pratt is Mario, and we are going to listen to Chris Pratt. Okay. What Chris Pratt is bringing to the character of Mario. Okay, let's hear it. Let's hear it. This should be great. I finally found it.

This is Bowser. Now he's going to stop me! I already hate it. Say something, you asshole. Wow. Do not touch that mushroom! Okay. That's Mario?

Yeah. What is that? Fuck that. That is trash. That is bullshit. It just is Chris Pratt's voice. He's not even doing like a fun Italian thing. No. Do something fun in Italian.

Like, did you see the, I saw the french dub of it and it's some guy being like he's doing shit like that and i'm like yes i'll watch it dubbed in french i want that goofy whimsical voice that's mario and someone you know what's the celebrity voice thing that is a great problem i don't whoever had that one that was originally one of mine because that's a great to be you just got voice actors. Sometimes it'd be like minor celebrities. Jack Black I'm cool with. Because he has an animated voice.

He seems like a cartoon character. Like, I mean, obviously the guy who should have been Mario is Danny DeVito. If it was Danny DeVito, we'd be so happy right now. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'd be blown away. Or Keffels. Or Keffels. She's Italian.

I don't know about that. Can she do Mario? It just sounds like Chris Pratt going, wow, I'm Mario. Okay, let's do a thing. Is it Danny DeVito? Oh, Luigi. Oh, Luigi. Like my wife or something?

Yeah, it should have been like a deep, heavy, gruff Italian voice. Look at these frigging mushrooms. Yeah. Oh, jeez. Okay. Yeah, you'd be 10 times better. I would have had fun with it.

If anything, as an Italian man, again, this is cultural appropriation. You should not allow non-Italians to play Italian characters. Yeah. If John Leguizamo is all upset about...

What was he upset about? Mexican. Yeah, somebody. Oh, that somebody was going to play Castro. James Franco is supposed to play Castro. Okay. John Leguizamo is like, that's horrible. They need to get, you know, someone, whatever. I'm like, you played fucking Luigi, motherfucker. You can't stock shit. I auditioned for his show. John Leguizamo had some TV show that I never got to as his gay son. Really? So I had to do like a monologue to nothing. As his gay son. And I did. You didn't hear back on that one? No, because I did like a gay voice. And I don't think they wanted that.

They didn't want it to be honestly gay. Well, we're looking for a character who's struggling with his sexual identity. This gentleman seems to embrace it I'm not struggling They should have told you, didn't they give you notes or anything? The monologue was all about where I met the guy I was going to marry, too So, it's an extra gay monologue, anyway He prepared the gay voice and everything

Well, guys, that was voted up And, yeah, here's the deal We've done ten voted up stingers so far. Nice even number. We're going to put it on pause until the Patreon reaches six grand. That's the deal. You're going to go on pause on this one? I'm striking.

Biggest problem. It's a podcast. Turn your sound up. Prepare for laughs. Other web shows are such dumb trash. Load us up with super chat cash.

There's a website where you must go for the biggest rather than show. That's pretty long. I do it a lot. It's pretty long. I had to fade out the end

because otherwise it just goes on forever You faded out your stinger? Oh yeah, because otherwise I have to do vote it up For like four bars I think you should have Whatever, anyway Okay, Vito's first because he won

I'm the winner I love that you guys have like Structure and rules for all this. It's great. Yeah, it's fantastic. On our show, we can't just talk about Game of Thrones for three hours, okay? We have an actual format that we have to move forward.

You don't just do retarded impressions for four hours? I can't believe they allow you on YouTube with that. Keep rolling those dice I did want to say one thing before we get into the problems This was funny to me Where I love my cats

Some people accuse me of loving my cats too much I don't know if Taylor knows that bank story or not Vito jacks his cat I don't jack off my cats That's horrific I can't believe you verifiably masturbate your cats Yeah, he makes his cat come with a Q-tip While I posted a picture of my cats. That's horrific. I can't believe you verifiably masturbate your cats. Yeah, he makes his cat come with a Q-tip.

Well, I posted a picture of my cats. Look at his face. It's a long story. Not long. Shut up. How long did he last? It was a lady cat and she was in heat and I helped relieve her suffering. We're not joking right now?

You got a cat off? I relieved the suffering of my cat. What the fuck, man? What led to this? You got a cat off. Because she was in heat. So I looked on the Google, what do you do when cats are in heat?

And they said you can take a Q-tip and you can gently... I went to zoofiles.biz. No, it wasn't zoofiles. What? He didn't say Jewfiles. I don't know why I said Jewfiles. That was a... anyway i posted a picture of my cats on instagram post orgasm glow a user named your mom.com tagged q-tips and said q-tips do you want to guess why these cats love your product? The Q-Tips account responded with, why? With a picture of confused eyeballs.

I then went on Twitter and said the actual Q-Tips account responded, and then Q-Tips on Twitter said, of course we did. So the Q-Tips official brand account is now aware of the ongoing... Are you jacking off your cat with their product? Did you put a warning label on that that says, don't jack off any cats or any other hamsters or rodents or anything? Have you ever heard of this, Taylor? It's funny that a brand manager is there and it's like,

oh, someone's talking about Q-Tips. It must be hard being the Q-Tips account manager because who's ever talking about Q-Tips? So you find one and you're all excited. You're like, oh, finally someone to respond to. And then I respond to it and I'm like, well, I used them to jack off a cat. How do you feel about that?

Taylor, can you ask your show if anyone does that? Because you have so many people that listen and say that Vito does it. I'll bring, you know, I'll make a note to bring that up right in the beginning. It was a one-time thing. It was a medical procedure.

I don't think that anyone dips a toe in that pool. I gently, this was years ago, assisted a cat who was in medical need. And then I got the cat fixed and I never had to address that problem again. Next time, just do it the other order. got the cat fixed and I never had to address that problem again.

Next time, just do it the other order. Get the cat fixed. So you don't have to fucking masturbate. Alright, look. Hindsight is 20-20 as they say. I'm blown away. Yeah! Imagine how our audiences felt for the past two months.

That's all I fucking hear about. I want to see like a reenactment video but with like a porno felt for the past two months. That's all I fucking hear about. It's because of chocolate. I want to see like a reenactment video, but with like a porno, like a lady dressed like a cat. There are videos on YouTube of people doing it. I looked it up. A dramatization? There are videos that show you how to do it.

Okay? And the cat is fine. Like a technique? What do you mean? Just like, whatever. I don't know. So the cat, here's how you can do it. Soft semicircles, right? it's a natural you know what would you want to say it's holistic how is it natural because it's i don't know because you're not introducing chemicals or something or you may have been the only person on you know when you do something like the Egyptians you're like I wonder how many people have done this today. You may have been the only person on earth that day.

Right now, thousands of people are jagging off their cat with a Q-tip. It is common. Well, do you know that? Are you in like a group with them? Oh, shut up. Like flamencos? Yeah, I'm on the zoo file forum. They don't even do that, probably.

Dick, play me this. The best move is definitely what you just said. Pivot to like, it's normal, weirdo. Like, just pivot fully to that. Commit. Everyone dips parrots in caramel and shoves them up their ass. It's very common. In the words of low tax.

What are you, racist? White supremacist? Play me this Bob's Burgers clip, Dick. Okay. Because this is a perfect example of my problem. Okay. Now, just to set this up, well, it doesn't really matter. The point is Gene has just won a great, he's the center of attention.

It's from Bob's Burgers. Not very many people watch that show. Probably, which is good because the show mostly sucks. But this is the one time. This is your setup of the clip? Whatever. this is the one time This is your setup of the clip? Whatever this is the one time the show got it right Well Okay Bob of Bob's Burger

Has a burger restaurant And his son wins a mascot race At a big baseball game And this is his opportunity To plug the burger restaurant They're gonna see No you're not gonna see all that shit It's like the whole fucking episode.

Oh, whatever. I'm starting in the middle, though. At 1.30. Yeah. Yeah. Well, congratulations, young burger. Ladies and gentlemen, you can purchase delicious burgers that look somewhat like him right here at the park. And at my family's restaurant.

And what's the name of that restaurant? It's... It's... God. Bob's's, it's God! Bob's Burgers! Bob's Burgers! God! Gene! Never mind, never mind. It's okay. We can get everything you expect from a burger at whatever the name of his restaurant is. Oh, I just remembered, I just remembered.

It's too late, but you can get them here at the park today. I won something, I won, I won! I won something! Yeah, and you didn't fall down like everyone else. Tell that to your grandkids. Okay, okay. My problem, Tick. So what does that have to do with anything?

Just a clip that you like to show. Well, let's say that there was a scenario where I would be... Oh, Taylor, let's just get to your problem! This is a big waste of time I think I'm the Bob in this situation And Dick I would say is the Gene in this situation My problem is not

Plugging the fucking Show So Nick Ricada gets One of the biggest YouTubers right now Probably has the biggest live streams on YouTube, gets banned and does a huge stream, which I was told at its height was being streamed out to 30,000 people, which is like network television levels of watching.

Yeah. And Dick is on the show for like an hour! Six hours! You were there for six hours! How many times did you say the words biggest problem? Zero. I'm going to fucking kill you! How many times did you say the Dick show?

Also zero. You didn't even plug your own show?! I don't know. It felt like a funeral for a friend. I mean, you're Mr. Funeral. Okay, when you go to a funeral. You're Mr. Performing at Funerals. Exactly. Like, I don't care.

I don't have any emotions. A funeral is a networking opportunity, and that's what that was. It was a promotional opportunity. For six hours, you had 30,000 eyeballs sitting on you, and all you had to do is go, well, Nick, this reminds me a lot of the problems I have with my own podcast, The Biggest Problem in the

Universe. There's ways to work it in so naturally, because I do it for the show all the fucking time. I go on fucking Newsmax, and they're like, well, what do you think? And I go, well, as a podcaster, I do a podcast called The Biggest Problem in the Universe. And I do it every time.

And I swear to God, you go on all these fucking shows and you don't plug. Well, I'm sorry. And this is not just for me. This is for you because you would at least plug yourself. I would be like, well, at least, you know, he's getting something done. No, you just. I don't know. What is wrong with you? I don't know what is wrong with you i don't know

i'm just thinking about what i'm doing i'm not thinking about how to shamelessly work in fucking plugs of things we have constant conversations where you're like how do we get more people to watch the show say that not you say that you're always like we should get other streamers to come on the show and then you go on a show with the biggest streamer on YouTube. On Earth. The height of this fucking thing with 30,000 people watching. You don't mention the show once. Stop yelling at me.

Oh, my God. Man, that is an egregious oversight. He's right. Bro. He's right. You got a plug. Maybe I could get. How do you not have that instinct rained out of you?

De-platformed again. I could go on again. Don't use Keffels as an excuse. I'm tired of that. Check out PKA. Every time. See? See?

Taylor knows how to plug. Taylor, when are you doing your own podcast? I don't know. People have asked me that. Do you do Twitch and stuff? I did more like a year ago. I'm going to jump back into it, I think. Because I enjoyed doing it.

I'm not good at games. I just would kind of... Every time I'd try and play a game, I made the mistake of playing Magic the Gathering Arena on a few streams, and people would be like, out and out, like, fuck you!

Like, don't do this! They'd be like, make fun of hoarders again! Put on hoarders and make fun of them! And it's like, okay, alright. But it was a bunch of fun. Can you have Vito on PKA so he can fuck up and I can make fun of him?

I'm not going to fuck up. He'll only plug Superkiller, his fucking comic that he plugs every week. I was thinking that one moment ago. I'm like, already, I really like this Vito guy. He's a funny dude. We've got to get him on PKA. He's beating off cats. I never beat off a on PKA. Yeah, there you go. Beating off cats. I never beat off a cat.

You can't beat off. There was an insertion. I'm going to tell you, when you come on, that's going to be a tent pole. I held the Q-tip out, okay? What the cat chooses to do with it is up to her. Just reprehensible. If she backs onto the Q-tip, that was her decision. Despicable behavior.

I didn't insert. Why don't you put it in like a door jam or something I feel like we're getting to get it off of your problem because I'm embarrassed cuz it's bullshit cuz you know what here's the thing lack of fear of self-promotion is the problem cuz you're not the only guy okay I run into all these guys you go I don't know why I can't make it on YouTube I don't know I don't get more subscribers, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I go, well, are you like promoting?

And they're like, oh, you know, I don't know. Like I forget and blow. It's like, bitch, fucking promote your shit. Yeah. Like I get like YouTube guys who are like, I don't know why I don't get subscribers. And I go, well, in the video, did you tell them to subscribe? And they're like, I don't know. That seems kind of tacky.

I'm like, is that tacky? Literally, you're planning the information in their brain that, hey, if you want more of this guy who you clearly like, here's a way to access it. Well, I don't think they like me. That's the problem. That's the point. Clearly, they like you. They were watching you for six hours.

Just because of Nick. There was probably people in the chat going, wow, this guy's great. He should do a podcast. There definitely were. There definitely were. You're a charismatic guy. I bet thousands of people were sitting there going, if only there were more content that exists of this charismatic, funny

guy. I should have brought in some comments because there were comments like, hey, this Dick Masterson guy is kind of interesting. Does anyone know where he came from? Was it girls saying that? I don't fucking know. Well, it matters. How come you didn't text me then? It was a man. Absolutely. Should I have texted you, plug the show? Do I have to do that?

So you just post on Twitter about it To get up-dudes and likes And humiliate me But you know my fucking phone number You can call at any time And say plug the fucking show Who's fucking not self-promoting? I've been casting for like six plus years

That you know how to promote it this time. Twelve, you bitch! Yeah, you suck at it! How the fuck have you not figured this out yet? God! Every time you go on anything and I tell and I go and you know what? Because you're right. I have all sorts of stuff I could promote, right? And I have

all sorts of different projects and whatever else. And when I'm going to go on the news, they go, fucking enemy weapon! Yeah, exactly! And then I go and they go, what do you they go, Fucking enemy weapon! Yeah, go, go, go, go, go! A million things. And then I go, and they go, what do you want it to say under you? And I say, put comedian biggest problem in the universe. Okay, good. And that's my little, like, title when I go on the shows or whatever.

You just go on Salvo's show or whatever and talk about how you're not a, so-and-so's not a pedophile. I plugged on Salvo's show and I didn't say anything about pedophiles, I don't think. But I don't actually remember. Yeah, you couldn't wait to tell them how much money you made. No, that was not a thing. That was backstage. Whatever, that's a whole other thing.

Taylor, Vito goes on Salvo Pancakes show and just pretends that he's, pretends to be fucking Mr. Daddy Warbucks and he's like, oh, Look at all the fucking money I make You fucking peasants I make like My patrons got $6,000 on that

That did not happen That was in the green room You don't even know what happened No, I don't I wasn't watching And during Fireball You know what I did? Because he wasn't letting people plug

I wrote biggestproblem.show on a piece of paper And I held it up to the camera Because that's how committed I am. He wasn't letting people plug? Salvo sucks at running a show. I'm like, let people plug, you idiot. Well, he doesn't let people plug. When people lose the show, he's got to be like, hey. Yeah, because fuck them.

I guess. I don't know. I always let people plug. Anyway. Do you let people plug on your show? Yeah, every PKA, we make sure people plug Anyway I guess You let people plug On your show Yeah every Every PKA We make sure people plug What they want to plug

Yeah they're pretty good About that I'll say that too Is that Nick should've Prompted you to plug Cause he just got His whole fucking life ruined That's true

So you needed to take advantage You needed to realize that I needed to Yeah that's why I was on his stream Not trying to Fucking grow my Patreon No no no no no That no, no, no.

That was an opportunity to take- I should've said, come see my show at youtube.com slash biggest problem. You should've said, well, I'm still on YouTube, luckily. You can find me at, you know, just as a thing, but I'm here in solidarity. Well, I didn't. I didn't say it. I know, you- I'm sorry,

I blew it. Could've had like a hundred new patrons. It's okay, you live and learn, man. No, you don't, Taylor. I'm sorry. I blew it. Could have had like a hundred new patrons. It's okay. You live and learn, man. No, you don't, Taylor. I'm too old. Yeah, he's like 80 years old and he still hasn't figured it out. For a long time. Anyway, I was the Bob in that situation.

I guess I could have texted. I just didn't think you would look at your phone because you were so busy not plugging. I always have my phone Not plugging I always have my phone on me It always vib- Actually it wouldn't have vibrated Because on Do Not Disturb

Because it was so late You should call I'm not going to call you In the middle of being on a show To remind you to plug Because then what if you go Yeah I was going to plug You know

And then you'd chastise me for that No then I'd go like Fucking Vito Always trying to plug Patreon.com Slash biggest problem Honestly what I should have done. I'm a reactive character.

You're Mr. Writer. You should know that I'm a reactive character. I am not a proactive character. I am in situations, and I react to things that happen to me. Next time. Obviously. Next time, I'm going to text you, and if you don't respond, I'm going to drive all the way over here. You've had plenty of time.

Midstream. Yeah, that's six hours. Pick me up a bottle of Wild Turkey, because I was out. By the way over here You've had plenty of time Midstream Yeah, that's six hours Pick me up a bottle of Wild Turkey Because I was out By the way, Nick Don't forget To go to biggestproblem.show And check out patreon.com

Slash biggest problem Okay For all the bonus episodes Great Taylor, what's your problem? Vito's problem is fucking stupid Fear of self-promotion Or ignorance of self-promotion

I don't know what I want to call it, but You fucked us Fear of self-promotion You fucked us It seems what I want to call it, but... Fear of self-promotion. It seems like you guys have an action plan moving forward. You can reconcile on this, and next time Dick's on there, you can drive to his house, pick up a nice bottle of wild turkey so he doesn't feel affronted

when you show up, and now it's a nice surprise. Let's build a buzzer system so I have a button I can press when you're not vlogging. Yeah, exactly. And when you see the light go off, you go, oh, right, of course. That was just some pedophile. A lot of sports and games

are getting a lot of mileage out of vibrating anal beads, so that's awesome. Oh, the chest thing. What do you think about that? I don't care. I couldn't conceivably care any less about cheating in chess, but i hope someone's cheating with a masturbation device would be the best thing the cheating scandal i hated was that

cunt who was putting like weights in his fish that fishing competition dude that was ridiculous those all those fishermen around him almost killed him they should have killed him they won like hundreds of thousands of dollars over the course of years have they cut open his fish before i'm surprised they don't cut like just mulch every fish every time well they have to now now they will like apparently uh apparently what actually caused it is the guys like five fish he picked it's like oh says this weighs 37 pounds this doesn't weigh 30 and all the fishermen guy was like this is not five this isn't 37 pounds then This doesn't weigh 30. And all the fisherman guy was like, this is not five feet.

This isn't 37 pounds. Then they cut out like 15 pounds worth of shit. Yeah. Cause they can look at a fish and they can go, there's no fucking way. He stuffed, he stuffed ball bearings and not ball bearing, like lead weights and other like,

like fish fillets. Did you see that? Yeah. Like he went and bought fish at a store and he's like, well, it's all fish. You know, it's all the same shit, and he shoved it in there. That's like plan A.

And then... That's a good plan, put more fish inside of fish. When it doesn't work, then, like, the Ricky, the trailer park boy's like, well, fuck it, plan's over, we gotta just start cramming lead into here. Bunch of cigarette butts and whatever was just hanging out in the boat. Okay, Taylor, what's your problem that you're gracing us with after Vito's retarded problem? My problem was great. You're an idiot.

You don't know the... Yeah, your problem. I forgot we're in competition. Your problem is retarded. Shut up. And I don't like it. So, my problem are circumcision apologists. Circumcision apologists. I was gonna just do

circumcision and I was like, that's old hat. That's old hat. I feel like in the last five, six, seven years there's been a big resurgence or like a coming to Jesus almost moment for a lot of secular people being like, oh my god, there's no reason to do this. Why the hell have we done this for so

long? And they decide not to. You can see the rates of it going down and that's a very good thing and i'm not even going to talk about religious people who are like resistant to evidence that it's bad because you can't change their mind like they're religious you could show them actual evidence of like you know actually uh mutilating the genitals of children for profit at birth doesn't have a better impact on their lifelong health they'd be like well but god's telling us to and so god supersedes that well i'm like rationalize anything you could kill their baby and they'll say well it's alive forever in eternity of heaven like oh well yeah there's always a layer because you can't you can't argue

with god in their minds and so i get why they can't be convinced what i am just fucking baffled by are these secular atheist or agnostic guys who you can talk to him about politics you can talk to him about sports you can talk to him about food you can talk to him about anything normal guys having a conversation you bring up or circumcision gets brought up and you say something mild to the point of like dude it is beyond fucked that doctors make money mutilating children's genitals strapping them to a fucking torture device as the child screams for its life as its first experience on earth that's a for-profit business it's that child experience it's its first experience a memorable

one don't get pedantic with me don't circumcise you the second you come out of the womb. They wait a second, don't they? They do it very quickly. They do it quickly. They have to do it quickly. And if you see medical clips of this, the baby is strapped to a torture device. It is barbarous. It is despicable, disgusting, vomit-inducing.

And the guy, after the baby's strappedpped down slices off the most sensitive part of his penis and you've heard babies cry for their parents you've heard them cry for attention for food for water whatever this is a shriek of a of a little boy crying for his life because one of his first experiences on earth is being mutilated for profit and what's happening is you have those conversations with a guy you're talking about sports whatever and then you say oh circumcision is pretty fucked up why are we still this is a first world country what the fuck suddenly they get all shuffed about it yeah suddenly it's it goes into circle the wagons and ends up and it's it's like this weird yeah the remaining foreskin tightens up it's this circle the wagon moment that a lot of guys do where where it's like, my dick's not fucked up. My dick's

great. My dick works good. I didn't fuck up my kid's dick. What are you talking about? My dick didn't fuck me up. My mom loves me. What are you talking about my dick for? What are you saying? My dick is a little bit smaller than it otherwise would be? Fuck you, man. That dick part of me had to go. It had to go. Exactly. 100%.

And they do that shit, and they go through the most ridiculous list of cope imaginable where first it'll be like oh you know women prefer it that way right like women prefer it's like dude first of all no they don't globally a lot more women have sex with uncircumcised men because it's not globally common to do this to people. Second, why would you the biggest cuck mentality I can imagine and I don't really use the word cuck but there's no better

word I can think for it than the cuckery the cuckery in the mindset of we should have an established ritual genital mutilation ring for profit because of the possibility that a woman

will prefer this in the future. That is so brain dead, so retarded, so low IQ, it blows the mind. Women don't want to fuck a fucking dog dick. Like, you gotta do something with it. You're one of these fucking circumcision apologists, aren't you? He is a fucking circumcision apologist. You don't want to have, like, this dog dork fucking with his extra skin hanging out.

No, this is perfect. This dovetails right into point two. That the next point they will make is that you have an anteater dick. I have it written down right here. Anteater dick. They'll say, I don't want an anteater dick. You got all this extra skin flapping around. You know that that's like, that is the densest source

of sensation on the penis. We should just leave the fucking umbilical cord attached to kids, you know, so they can swing it around and shit. What a salient example. Yeah, that'd be cool. No, it's a bunch of extra bullshit skin. Look. Wait a minute, wait a minute. You don't gotta clean underneath the head. Retard take. What about

women's tits? That's just extra skin. Why don't we lop that shit off? Well, that's what they're doing. I mean, we should cut people's feet off. We should cut people's feet off so they don't get fucking fungus. We should cut people's arms off so they don't have issues. You cut the skin off, it gives the dick more room to grow. That's not true.

It's the opposite of that. It's the opposite of that. You're restricting it. There are different kinds of circumcisions out there. Like, some doctors are fucking taking it all off. Like a high and tight, like a Connecticut circumcision. A very traditional, strict circumcision. And then other ones are more loosey-goosey.

Wait, Taylor, what is this about the most sensitive part of the skin? What do you mean? Yeah. So, the most sensitive, nerve-ending, dense part of the penis is the foreskin yeah so the most sensitive nerve ending dense part of the penis is the foreskin oh that is it is incredibly dense and it also serves to keep the tip of the penis more moist yeah as you know the tip of your dick is very very sensitive when it's not exposed to air all the time like it's not supposed to be it it stays more moist and it retains more sensation from a pure from to sue my parents. From a purely pleasure-based argument. Don't think about anything but pleasure

if that's the easiest thing for you to conceive. Just think about the pleasure argument of you have had what is natural sex robbed from you by an industry that makes money. Someone took a vacation. Someone bought a jet ski from the money they made cutting part of your dick off. That's fucked.

Look, I don't spend a lot of time thinking about the penis pleasure of little boys. Boom! On to number three! This is perfect! Thank you so much! This is perfect! This is perfect because my next point was when they realize that your arguments

are salient and there's nothing they can say to really go up against it, they say, why do you care? And they play the ambivalent card. See, that's what you do. I think really it's that I care about children not being mutilated. That was the pedophile card that he just played. I think that's good. And he can try and play that because he's frantic.

I don't spend a lot of time thinking about little boys' dicks and how much pleasure they're going to get and how moist they are. I guess I have a lot more empathy for children than you do. I'm concerned with the well-being of kids. Taylor told me the negative problem. I'm trying my best.

Oh, I know. No, you're just... No, I would feel like... Vito, are you pro or anti-circumcision? I'm anti-circumcision. It's a pointless. It's just pointless. Pointless, it's actually worse than pointless.

Well, I don't think... It is actively bad. I think the negatives and the positives are like a trade-off, but it's just pointless. Pointless. It's actually worse than pointless. Well, I don't think I think I think the negatives and the positives are like a trade off, but it's just useless. What did you hear that shit about the dick that you're talking about? I have to be more sensitive. I have a very sensitive dick to begin with. But you don't know if you would have had your pointer fingers.

So I would waste more time jerking off. Like I need less of that in my life. If anything, I would have less sensation. If you want to feel more common, it would less sensation. If you're able to feel more cum in, it would be better. You'd be able to feel more sensation. As a shooter and not a dribbler, it already feels way too good. As a real shooter, you gotta get on

lock and load. Can I have some of those cum pills that you have? I'll ship you some. Taylor sells these pills that make you have more cum when you shoot your cum loads. I'm always looking for new ways to make sex more miserable for my girlfriend.

Gorillamind.com. Shoot more jizz. You shoot more jizz. You shoot more jizz. You don't shoot more actual semen. It just increases your prostate production so you have a lot more seminal fluid. And so really the amount of time you're orgasming seems more because you know the most intense time is as it's coming out so it'll

intensify your orgasm and you'll be busting like a goddamn champ what do you mean what was all that doctor stuff what did you say seminal fluid what do you mean so it's stimulating like your prostate to create more fluid it's not actually creating more uh sperm itself so you're not becoming like more fertile you're not but it will make you yeah yeah you're not becoming more fertile, but it will make you more potent. More fluid, which means a more intense orgasm. It's a very good thing. How do I obtain this?

You can look up Lock and Load or go to GorillaMind.com and use code PKA or code Jizz. Anything on the website you can use those for. They give you code Jizz. Anything on the website you can use those for. They gave you code Jizz? That's the best code. We had to request it.

I guess. Is that Gorilla Mind? Is that related to Mike Cernovich in any way? No, it's related to... No, do you know who More Plates More Dates Derek is on YouTube? Oh, I've heard of that guy. Yeah, it's his supplement company. Oh, okay. And there's a reason. You've got to take nine pills a day because it's an efficacious dose why are you writing it down it's a podcast you can listen i'm not listening to the whole

fucking show to get the jizz code if i write it down i could remember it more better yeah pka or jizz but anyway the the circumcision it's apologist thing so like circumcision we all know that's bad but this the apologia of it like when you go to someone who is secular and there's no religious reason for them to think that and you can tell them secular means not religious for the audience yes for the audience it means not religious people so when confronted with that fact they usually say stuff like why do you care so much who cares it goes from it's a good thing to oh i'm actually ambivalent i'm i'm apathetic and i would make the argument that hundreds of millions of boys being ritualistically mutilated for profit is actually not something you should

be apathetic about you should probably care about that bath though you're not cleaning all that dick see and that that's another thing that's interesting is i want to do uh literally for millennia it was understood that this was a religious ritual practice. It was a religious practice. There was no claim for thousands of years that this was somehow good for you or prevented disease or it made you cleaner. Those things only came about in recent decades when people started going, what the fuck are we doing this for?

And they started going, actually, we have a study here that compares high income people from Connecticut who are circumcised to low income people in like fucking the Congo. And you have way less STDs. It's like, oh wow, you compare two totally disparate populations with different STD

rates. It must be circumcision. So there's no, that's all bullshit. It's COVID all over again. Did you know the uncircumcised commit 60% of all murder stick? Yeah. I believe that I believe that cuz they're they can't feel as much even like I do just

like to establish case law and to put some fear into people I do think we should I should sue my parents yeah for. For circumcising me. Yeah. For something. Like, just to get a case on the books. Denying you as much dick pleasure as you deserve. The whole thing. Your orgasms could have been, like, twice as good, and you'll never know. Or his orgasms are already mind-blowing.

It's embarrassing. If I was, right? You could sue. Sure. Suing parents should be, look, only we're not gonna get our parents houses or their money because Blackrock is gonna give them

reverse mortgages to pay them to go sit in double Cialis bathtubs or toilets with overlooking bluffs or whatever until they're dead

right we're not gonna none of us are gonna get shit from our parents unless we sue their ass and I'm gonna start this with the circumcision lawsuit. Just a quick, quick, quick, a hundred, a hundred thousand, whatever you got, 50 grand, 70 grand,

whatever. We're going to set a legal precedent for suing our parents for some of that money. Well, I'm in favor of that. You lead that charge. And based on how it goes, I'll follow suit. Come on. Someone's got to do it. Yeah. And'll follow suit. Someone's gotta do it. And I support you.

People do sue their parents. Laziness is ignorance is no excuse for chopping off my wiener. Chop off your wiener. The good parts they did. They chopped off a good bit of it. The sensitive, most sensitive part they got rid of. Yes, that's why I'm so sexually

insatiable. That I've got to follow all these whores on Instagram all the time because I can't derive the pleasure I God intended out of my dick. Look at that. He's got a case for a lawsuit. I'll talk to Nick about it. I'm surprised there's no interesting studies about the difference in life between circumcised and uncircumcised.

There's got to be some difference. Most of all, because it's so difference. Do you have any stats? Well, because it's so like cultural. Do you pleasure your wife less, you know? I mean, it's, I mean, your dick would definitely slide around better. Do circumcised men have higher rates of depression? Let's see.

I bet they do. The National Center for Health Statistics says 64% of uncircumcised boys become serial killers. Okay. It could be. But I would think that circumcised guys would be more depressed because, like, people in first world countries are more likely to be depressed. Whereas, like, an uncircumcised guy in Kenya is, like, he's got too many things going on to deal with.

But I look at the success of Jews around the world and I go, well, shouldn't I do everything I can to emulate that success? I think they'd still be successful with their dick skin. Jews started this? Well, they're big practicers of it. They love it. Really? Is that true, Taylor? Yeah, they have that guy going.

They love it so much that the guy kisses the dick before they chop it off because they're all excited about it. No more stats necessary. That's the ultra-orthodox one. I've heard of that. That's fucked up. It's insane. He goes in, and he kisses the little baby penis, and then he chops it off.

All right. That was your problem. People control. See this guy? He's writing a fan fiction. Well, I'm just saying they've done very well for themselves. No, he's making it seem bad and scary. This is good for me.

I want to pattern myself after what they do. They live in tight-knit circles. Jews? Yeah, yeah. They're very familial. What if they don't even circumcise each other? They just made that up. They might just say that to trick us.

Gentiles. The Gentiles. The Gentiles. We're very gullible people. We've been getting fooled for thousands of years. They put that fake passage, that covenant with Abraham, retroactively. That's where it came from, Dick, if you didn't know the Bible. It's circumcision is a covenant with Abraham, according to the Old Testament. Covenant with Abraham.

Yeah. I mean, I don't know. The other thing is, yeah, yeah. Wait, wait, wait. I want to be close to abraham we didn't even get into that part you do abraham yeah i don't want to be far away from abraham yeah but there's no reason for it because jesus came and he fulfilled the old law and he made it so there was no reason to follow those rules do you think if i asked jesus should i cut off my

penis what would he say he'd say he'd say no get away from. He was circumcised. Jesus? Yeah. Maybe. I don't know if he was or not. No. Does the cross have a foreskin on it? No. It's a white guy.

Yeah. Well, he was wearing like a tunic or something, a loincloth. You couldn't see his dick. You think they could afford scissors? When you resurrect, does every part of your body resurrect? Did Jesus resurrect with his foreskin? Probably. I bet he kept it i

bet that was like if you lose your leg it doesn't meet you back up in heaven uh taylor have you ever looked into the foreskin regrowers we did we we were looking at something like that on uh on pka a long time ago and like i am very against circumcision, but like, guys, come on now. Like, we're hanging weights from our dicks now. Like, that can't be good for your dick either. They hang weights to try and stretch out the skin? Yeah, like the neck, like the ring on the African neck ladies. Maybe.

It makes the tip of your dick look like a knuckle. It looks like a fist, like a longshoreorman's wrapping his hand around the head of your dick. Yeah, I'm just, I think like at that point, probably play the hand you're dealt. Let's not like rig up like a Rube Goldberg machine with marbles and games to stretch your dick out. Did trans men

get to pick between, because they make these like perfect replica penises on. Perfect? Is that what you believe? Well, well yeah because they're getting like they're getting their identity fulfilled by medicine they're not getting a perfect one they're getting something well it must be it must be it's like a choice they get to like go through a catalog and pick out what style you know what they should get to do they should really they should just open the morgue and they get to pick from like a recent cadaver yeah so that they get a real you get to pick which leg you want them to rip off a portion of your leg

skin to roll up into a tube that's the point that can't be right that would be that would be uh butchery that can't be right that would that would be ghastly no no society would allow that's crazy That would be crazy That's not it Surely You get to pick Surely it's a 3D generated Grown from stem cells

Perfect little organ Yeah Not just a tube of meat It's growing off a rat's shoulder That is grafted on In a lab somewhere Yeah Don't be transphobic

You're right, Dick You're right You obviously get to pick between Yes A circumcised Or Unso They get to pick between a circumcised or uns... They get to have a 10-inch monster grown from the finest... It's like a water weaner.

From the finest thigh meat. The water, yeah, the water or whatever. The water weaners. Hey, Taylor, you know what I'm talking about? The water wobbler. You can't hold them. It's like, oh, it's wiggling away. Right?

Every teenager's first fleshlight. Well, they didn't work. I tried to fuck one of those guys. You couldn't put your dick in them. They didn't work for that. Yeah, it didn't work. I don't remember if I succeeded. So trans men get one of those?

Trans men get a water wobbler made out of leg flesh. Can you circumcise it? Yeah, you can circumcise it. That's cool. At that point, what can't you do? Tattoo it. Do all sorts of things. Modern medicine.

Wow. Modern medicine. We're able to do it all, folks. Okay, here's my problem. Maybe you'll like this one. Were you done? Yeah, yeah. I'm good.

Do you know the circumcision status of everyone you know, Taylor? I check, yeah. You check? That's cool. Are there any surprises that you have encountered? No. No, not really. Most of the guys I showered with throughout all my years playing hockey and everything, everyone was, for the most part, circumcised. Okay.

And we'd compare. What religions don't circumcise do catholics circumcise i think most catholics do but i think i don't think it's a catholic thing i think it's like it's just like an american thing maybe yeah buddhists i don't think they fuck with that shit no yeah because my family wasn't heavily religious and they still just went to the window that night. A lot of Christians do it. I went to my mom and she's like, mutilate that boy. Mutilate that sucker.

Fuck him up and here's two grand, doctor. Yeah, that's the worst part. He's been fucking me up for nine months. This is payback. Oh yeah, that doctor sees your... He's been giving me cramps and shit. Cut off his fucking dick A penis caused this A penis shall end it

Chop that dick off doctor Did you hear that like Women are being trained to hate men so much That like they hear If they have a male baby and they hear it cry They're less likely to help it than if it was a female baby Those cunts Like it's getting really bad

jesus i bet that could just be naturally like a naturally ingrained thing though like the natural response to want to help women more than men yeah that's part of it is that like you hear a female crying and you're like oh that must really be a problem you're probably gets him off baby boy crying you're like he's just being a dick if you tell alexa to play a male baby, I do this. You know, there's a, I'm really trying to give my girlfriend a good time. So Alexa put on a male baby crying in pain before the lovemaking begins. Yeah. Really drive really turned on. She's like, what is this?

And then, but I'm on it right away. Try it. Try it. I'll give it a go. Okay. My problem is Sportsophobia We all know

Homophobia Yeah Best lead in effort Come on I'm excited Homophobia Homophobia It is not homophobia

Sure It's sportsophobia Right It is guys who are too Aphobied By sports That they just can't That that it comes out in like anger or severe discomfort. I was at a baseball game recently with this, with a guy and the whole time he's peppering me with like sports ball comments. Oh, like, ripping on the game? Yeah, I'm like, I mean, I know, I don't, you know, yeah, it's a baseball game.

It's relaxed, okay. Like, hey, I got it! You're very uncomfortable by this. Like, it feels like, it just feels like. But they're going to run fast next. You know, like, yeah, that's part of it. Yeah. That's part of the sport.

Who knows who's better? Like, an arbitrary score? Well, a score based on the skill of the guys in the field? Real scientific here, isn't it? Ask me. And then what? We're going to eat peanuts? Yeah.

Sports daggers. I'm not supposed to. Yeah. And then what? I guess we're just going to go watch football or hockey or something? And then that's like a whole different bunch of guys? Like, yeah. Yeah.

No, I know what you're saying It's interesting There's some guys who go like Threatening in the same way That homophobia Yeah Sexuality That makes people homophobic

Well there's some Like I'm a guy I'm not like deeply into sports I like sports I fucking hate sports I like watching replays And stuff I can't sit and watch

Like a whole game But if it's like a good play I'm like oh that's pretty cool But you know Little League World Series That's good That's choice What about you What do you think about I can't sit and watch like a whole game, but if it's like a good play, I'm like, oh, that's pretty cool. But, you know. Little League World Series. That's good. That's choice. What about you?

What do you think about it? You want to watch little boys cry? That was a test. Yeah, I don't want to watch the Little League World Series at all. I was wondering where you were going with that. I was going to say, you know, you might make a couple little jokes like, oh, you guys getting into the sports ball or whatever, but yeah. There are some guys who, like, take it to the point of, like, they think that if you're into sports, you're, like, legitimately a Neanderthal, that you're low intelligence. It makes them so uncomfortable.

Yeah. Like, you don't have to be, like, lash out. Yeah, you don't gotta know all the stats. It's making you uncomfortable. Like, it's like the same thing, like, you know, a preacher who's like, man, these Q's and F's are gonna burn in the internet. I'm like, I don't know, man. I kind of feel like you're a little...

Projecting or something. Yeah, you're projecting something. Something about these... I think you're too mad about it. Something about this makes you uncomfortable. Something about these guys having too good of a time is making you uncomfortable. Yeah. These guys found out that they're living a life where they don't have to deal with women at all And you're and he's mad they found a loophole. Yeah, you got one for some reason

Why do you go to the game with you? Just as like a lark? I don't know Guy at the ballgame like well, I'm gonna get a hot dog out of it, you know, I know what's there for me But he didn't even he wasn't even there for the I was on the Muppets like Waldorf and Stadler time like I hate these guys these guys like why are you at the play then motherfucker we're here every night for these Muppets

was he doing like that that like reductivist sports thing they'll do where it's like so you let me get this straight you're gonna watch five guys run up and down a court bouncing a ball and putting it in a net wow I'm gonna rewatch

Rick and Morty and it's like alright meanwhile that guy will go on Twitch and watch the same guy play Call of Duty for like hours it's just like recognize that that's someone else's dumb thing that they like. Like it's fine.

Like sport. I love hockey. I'm actually, I'm genuinely excited for the NHL season to start tomorrow because I'm going to watch the game. It's going to be a blast.

Like it's going to be great. It's fun. It's just a fun, stupid thing to like. Even as a guy who's not into sports, I have to admit, sports are cool. Yeah.

Now the uniforms could be cooler. That's one big problem. But other than that, men's sports. Yeah, men's sports. They're hard to do. Like, wow, I couldn't do that. That's one big problem. But other than that... Men's sports. Yeah, men's sports. They're hard to do. Like, wow, I couldn't do that.

That guy, women's sports, you're like, ah, yeah, I can do that. Yeah, men's sports. Is there a women's hockey league? I thought you would like this problem because you're so into hockey, Taylor. Is there a women's hockey league? Yeah, there...

Really? Not a good one. Well... It's like a minor league that's a little bit supported. But hockey as a sport is so much less popular than basketball and has so much less money coming in that the NBA can just support WNBA every season because that's how it's paid for.

The WNBA doesn't sell shit. And they don't even notice. The NBA makes money hand over fist. The NHL doesn't have that kind of money to support a minor league. And so they'll like try and get it going. Minor league, right? Yeah, a minor league.

It was women's, but it just came out. Yeah. Sorry, keep going. It would be effectively. I mean, yeah, you're right. It would be a pro league, but like the kind of pro league that like any really good 16 year old boy

could go and dominate. And it's just, it's not that interesting. Like women-year-old boy could go and dominate. It's not that interesting. Women's hockey, I just don't really care. There's no hitting in it, and that's a huge part of the control and the pacing of the game. So no hitting makes it not as interesting. And the shooting is much, much slower. They're not allowed to check each other?

No, they don't check the way men do. I wouldn't want to see a woman take a hockey stick across the tits. That would be horrible. They wear full cages. They pretty much never fight. Yeah. So very different. But yeah, hockey is the best sport.

Hockey is the best sport. You're a great guy. Hockey is closest to being like, yeah, white. Well, it's like what all, no, it's not because it's all white guys. It's more sports should emulate like hockey. Like, first of all, obviously allow fighting. Just work into the rules. A little bit. A, first of all, obviously allow fighting. Just working under the rules. A little bit. A little bit.

A little bit. Yeah, not like, you know, you got a cage. You do five minutes in the cage, come back out. Slap him. Like basketball should have slapping. Like, what the fuck? Slap. And then the rest of the time.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Go ahead. Like, I'll see clips from like the NBA where it's like, did you see this wild clip of so and so, you know, beating up this guy? And you watch it and it's like, did you see this wild clip of so-and-so, you know, beating up this guy and you watch it and it's like a mild shove. And it's like, oh, well, that's not as intense as I thought in hockey. Like they have to make rules every couple of years because someone will find a new way to fuck with people. They had to make a, so screening a goalie is when you stand in front of the goalie so that he can't see the shot coming from your teammate.

Awesome. They never made a rule that you can't turn around and face the goalie so that he can't see the shot coming from your teammate awesome there they never made a rule that you can't turn around and face the goalie and wave your stick in his face until until sean avery did that against martin and they had they had to make a rule they're like you can't fucking do that man like three years ago brad marshall he was getting up in somebody's face they're about to like scuffle but instead of fighting he just like the guy looked away and he licked up the entire length of his face in the middle of the game

he licked him and the NHL players association or the disciplinary arm had to be like we are reviewing this to determine an appropriate suspension for Brad Marchand in the licking incident this is unhygienic, not respectful to the game. It's not in the rules.

It's not in the rules. It's not in the rules. You can do it. Yeah. If a giraffe wants to play hockey, if you can get him on skates, it doesn't say in the rule book, a giraffe can't play hockey.

Yeah. I didn't want to. You got to get rid of the throat guards, though, because that was the best thing in hockey when that guy got his fucking throat cut open. Yeah, dude. Yeah. Clint Malachuk. Oh, shit.. Yeah, dude. Clint Malachuk.

Oh, shit. That was his name, Clint Malachuk. You can see that clip online. Yeah, he almost died. The fucking ice is just like flooded with blood, and you're like, this is the most hardcore sport that's ever existed. At any point, your fucking throat can get slashed.

It's brutal. I really like this. I don't want to say i like your problem because we're competing but this is so true because like there is a contingent of people out there who get a feeling of superiority and like intelligent air of like oh i'm intelligent from nothing more than like making it known that they dislike sports and that's it i get that and i'm sympathetic to that but then at some point it's like it turns into something else. Or it's like, you guys, this can't exist.

There's no way anybody can enjoy this. This is a serious threat to me. I mean, I don't know, man. Maybe you should just do some miniature golf. Maybe you've got to get it out of your system. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. As I was saying in my sports uniform, those people would all be

convinced if you brought the pageantry into the sports. I don't want a bunch of fucking dildos walking around in Technicolor Dreamcoats on the field. It should all be like WWE. There should be like between fucking innings. You go talk to guys like, I'm going to hit this ball so fucking

hard that Mad Dog Mackerson is going to talk to guys. Like, I'm going to hit this ball so fucking hard that Mad Dog Mackerson is going to hear it coming. Yes, I agree. I agree. They need some narrative. Oh, I'm about to clobber this ball in a way you've never seen. Anyone who tries to get between me and third base is going to feel the hurt, brother.

You try that slider on me, I'm going to come to the mound and rape you. Yeah, imagine they went to the players like, you know, there needs to be a guy on the fucking field. I'm thinking of, I remember most of the extreme elimination challenges and that little guy runs up. Guy LaDouche. Yeah, Guy LaDouche. Guy LaDouche. What are you going to do when he hits the ball? I'm going to run it into the fucking home base as hard as I've ever done it before.

Oh, you look very strong today. You know what else I don't like? Okay, like a baseball game, they'll do this big intro for the home team, and then they don't do any intro for the visiting team, and everyone just kind of accepts it, but the visiting team should like, just drive a monster truck through the dugout and go like, fuck LA!

Fuck LA! Fuck you! You're all sitting through our whole thing and they have like some asshole going like like I'm the Colorado Rockies and I'm here to say everyone's LA is gay. Fuck you! And they're like trying to get it. They're saying like

trying to get them like demonetized on YouTube and shit. The stream. I'll get you fucking, all you streamers out there load them up. Here we go. Now you're all demonetized. Suck my dick. The build up to a sports event is better than the sports event itself.

It's the fucking announcers. It's because all the fucking announcers are so boring and clean cut pencil dick suit wearing Joe Buck motherfuckers. Is that guy even still alive? Joe Buck? I don't know if Joe Buck is still alive.

I hope not. Fuck. I don't think Joe Buck's still going. I could be wrong. I hope he's dead. God willing. I hate Joe Buck so much. Yeah.

I hate that he tried to clown on Artie Lang on like his first HBO. Did he? Oh, yeah. I remember you. I remember that deep floor. I'm going way, way back. Anyway, sports-a-phobes. sports-a-phobes sports-a-phobes

and they're in esports too oh really? I didn't know why would you play video games yeah but that's funny I don't want to watch pro gaming is your character more powerful than his demon?

I'm interested in watching someone play League of Legends but I don't think people are dumb or bad for if that's your thing live it up have fun enjoy it like I don't what are you watching if you're watching people play video games why don't you just play them oh yeah fuck you that's what they want to be doing

is that is that worse than watching fucking season 51 of the Simpsons no you should watch The Office for the 10,000th time yeah you should watch The Office Is that worse than watching fucking season 51 of The Simpsons? No. You're right. I should watch The Office for the 10,000th time. You should watch The Office for the 10,000th time. Put on King of the Hill for the millionth time. You got to get PCOS Plus so you can watch the super fan episodes.

Of what? Of The Office. No, The Office sucks. They've taken all the jokes that weren't good enough to get on TV and edited them back into the show, and it's made it actually worse. I'm like, I can tell why you back into the show and it's made it actually worse. I'm like, I can tell why you cut that joke because it's very bad. Okay, so what were our problems?

Sportsaphobes. Fear of self-promotion. Circumcision and apologists. Either way is fine. Circumcision, apologists, yeah. Okay, fear of self-promotion. Okay. Taylor, you want self-promotion. Okay. Taylor, you want to hang out while we do voicemails

and super chats? Or feel free to leave it anytime. You don't even have to say. You can just hang up. Or we could listen to these voicemails together. I think I'm going to go start watching a movie with my wife. Get out of here. Thank you for coming on. One more time, Taylor. How do people find you? Painkiller already.

Thank you, Vito, for professionally having me shouted out. See how I do that? See how every else should do that? And you know, when you come on PKA, I'll set you up just like that. I almost hung up right then. Alright, take care, guys. Thank you for having me. I really appreciate you having me. Wait, are you going to have Vito on?

Yeah, absolutely. We'll get you on any time. We'll get you on the schedule, man. We'll get you on the schedule. Do you have enough power to do that? Oh, I got some sway. I got some sway over there. I don't know. You're kind of the bitch of that group, aren't you? Well, I know Woody could get you on.

I don't know if Taylor could get you on. I'll get you on. Now I gotta do it. Now you gotta prove it or else you're a bitch. Taylor, you made the right decision not doing the voicemail part. I like the voicemail part. They're fun, even though they all shit on me for some reason. Go enjoy a movie.

What movie are you watching? Do you even know? I'm gonna look for a scary movie. Something in season. Watch Andor. Watch, watch, don't watch Andor. Fuck stories. Watch Fall.

Fall? It's a new movie. It's a new movie about two fat girls. Oh, the one where they're climbing the thing? Yeah, these two fat girls climb. Okay, well, they're not fat. Well, I'll be the judge of that. They get stuck on a TV tower.

Yeah. And the whole movie is about these two fat girls stuck on a TV tower, and they're trying to get down. And their cell phones are out of batteries, and the ladder broke away. They're like, we're going to free climb it. We're going to live it to the max. It's funny because at the top of the thing, they're just like, we're fucking stuck up here and we're going to die. Yeah, but they're still chicks.

Yeah. So there's kind of plot holes and you're like, well, why don't they just do that? Then you're like, ah, because they're still chicks. Because they're stupid. Yeah, because they're fucking mad. I'm going to go watch Fall right now. I hope it's as good as you're promising. Have fun, boys. Thank you again, guys. Thank you so much for being here. I hope it's as good as you're promising. Have fun.

Thank you again, guys. Thank you so much for being here. Goodbye. Take care. Good luck with your problem. Taylor from PKA. Oh, my God. Look at that.

Look at how he's dancing back. That's pretty fucking cool, actually. I love it. Well, what a great guest. What a great show. Oops. No, it's not over yet, But We have some voicemails here Guys if you enjoyed the show

Don't forget to vote on All the problems We'll put them up After the show At biggestproblem.show And you can check out Our bonus episodes At patreon.com

Slash Biggest problem We are so close To hitting that 6k 6k mark Are you gonna go Shove that in like

Everyone's face Who's making fun of you No look I didn't shove it In their face No cause that's 72,000 They said you're only making I don't't know, less, $60,000. Yeah, but I don't take all the money from the pay, whatever.

We split it. I do have to do my taxes. That's going to be a pain in the ass. Oh, I just finished mine. This sucks. It sucks. I need more money. Oh, yeah?

Did they suck it out of you? Zelensky did. Yeah. Ukraine did. The fucking stock market also crashed. I don't know, man. I think the nukes are cheaper than Zelensky. Yeah, at this point, just let the nukes fly and we'll see what happens.

Fuck them. What does that one say? What does that one? Vito was what? Vito was right about the comic. Oh my. Hey, Vito. Hey, Dick.

Hey. First time caller on a show here. Long time listening to Dick's show. I'm going to have to defend Vito. Hey, Dick. This is Adam from Indiana. First time caller on the show here. Long time listening to Dick's show. I'm going to have to defend Vito here. You guys are always busting his balls, but as far as they are, about that comic book dude. I can't remember his name.

Not important. But I think Dick is jealous of Tim Pool. Fight me. Tim Pool? That was it? He's saying you're jealous of Tim Pool. You brought in Tim Pool. He's saying my jealousy. Everyone talks about my jealousy.

Your jealousy is never brought up, I believe is what he's saying. Jealous of Tim Pool. Yeah, but how can you be jealous of Tim Pool? Here's the thing about jealousy. People always go, you're jealous of that guy. And I go, I can't be jealous. It's here's the thing about jealousy people always go you're jealous of that guy and i go first of all it's envious it's envious you fucking retard it's not jealous i don't know jealous of something you have that someone else covets you're envious of something you do not have that you covet yeah but the point is that you you would never do a show

like tim pool so why would you be either jealous or envious? I couldn't have an audience like... His audience is... Well, there's some good people, I assume. It's the same with Eric Gilles, where I go, if I was a big black libertarian conservative shield for idiots, then yes, maybe I would be jealous. But look at the way people are reacting

that get his comic. It makes me feel sick. I don't know how people like when we talk about the comic, but I will say that it is what I said it would be. It's interesting. The comic's what I said it would be. It's like if you hand a first time writer like, oh, I'm going to make a superhero comic

that doesn't have any politics in it. It's just a guy and he runs around and he punches guys. But he didn't even follow it sounds like he didn't even follow Like a basic There's no structure There's no arc or anything Everyone's going I like that I got to the end of the comic

And I didn't know what the character's powers were Or who anyone else's powers were Or where he came from Or why they're superheroes at all And I'm like so what did you get out of it Exactly like dude you could have hired, like, any, like, elementary school English teacher to walk you through, like, the 12 stages of the hero's journey, and you didn't even need to make it good.

And people would have said, this is the next coming of Christ. That's the thing. You just wung it. You winged it, and you fucked it up. And they're just like, wow at the the paper yeah oh man so every review has been t-shirt every review has been look at the t-shirt i got so many of the reviews are wow look at how impressive this cardboard mailer is you can tell eric's taking this seriously i'm like yeah you paid ten dollars for shipping on a fucking little rinky dink comic

of course i would hope it comes in a fight you should come in a a bronze suitcase for ten dollars shipping yes uh anyway yeah every review has been well it looks professional i'm like all right yeah i mean what i'm seeing is people going they're like i paid thirty dollars for a comic book and they're like will you buy the second one it's like well not if it's gonna be 30 bucks again so everybody now now the challenge is are you gonna keep selling thirty dollar comic books are you now Gonna go back Cause Marvel and DC A comic book at most Is like five bucks

Eric If he's smart Yeah He should send Everybody Three The next three issues For free

Yeah to make up For spending Basically As a bonus It ended up being like $50 As a bonus To buy that first comic

Yeah you just do Write a bunch of Write a bunch more stories don't tell them and say hey look i'm sending wait till the first one's second one's done and then send it out but actually get someone like even the shittiest la writer can follow basic stories i think he's hiring a bunch of writers like rumors that's a mistake one Well, that's the thing is he's trying to make a superhero universe, so he has to have like four different superhero. That was always my thing.

I'm like, okay, it would be one thing if he said, I want to make a comic, it's going to be my one comic, and I'm going to focus on it. He specifically said, I'm making a superhero universe like Marvel or DC. There will be multiple superhero books with multiple writer and artist teams. And I'm like, you do not have the experience or talent necessary to do that. Even I don't want to do that. I'm making a comic because it would be fucking insane to be like,

oh, I'm just going to make my own Marvel universe. But the voicemail was about me. Yeah, because you're jealous of Tim Pool. Envious. I wish I was making as much money as tim pool but i really you gotta understand i've been like up down up down up down like in order to be in order to be as in order to be at that level like as successful as tim pool steven crowder uh i think, I think this happened to Gavin McGinnis too, but all these big guys like the Young Turks,

you have to be at a permanently sustainable state of cringe or insanity to keep it going. Steven Crowder's actually insane. I can't imagine trying to live his life. Insane or cringe. He just sucks.

I look at what he does and I'm like, man, that was like, I've had some episodes of the show where I'm like, eh, that sucked. But it's like, you're just pumping out sucky stuff. Yeah. On the regular. Like, ah, man, maybe the money's worth it. I'm not envious of it, though, but maybe that's a cope. Maybe that's just a rationalization. I don know i'm pretty fine i think my cope is that the most popular things

the most popular media is usually not good yeah you know like when you look at like the top it's like oh transformers was the number one movie of the box office you're like wow that movie's a piece of shit it's horrible you know so like yeah if you want to be that popular horrible yeah you have things that people are talking about horrible yeah so you do get to that point where you go yeah i would love to be you know internationally recognized and loved but you kind of have to be a big dumb idiot to accomplish that yeah who's like a really smart guy who everybody loves alex jones okay well there you go yeah i would be i i wish if i'm envious of anyone it's alex jones or nick fuentes for his youth and vigor his youth and his vigor please stop praising nick fuentes on this show i feel like it's gonna lead

down a bad path at some point would take would take a bullet for Nick Fuente. See, I don't... Because of his politics... Someday I'm going to try and do something with my life, and they're going to go, Is this you on a podcast where your co-host is screaming about... Motherfucker, you got no someday. Your life is done. You got a...

A bigger and better things ahead. They're pointing to the horizon that don't fucking exist. Super Killer, the animated series, is on its way. Okay, here we go. You're both retards, it says. Okay. Hey, Dick, Vito. Hi.

You both are complete fucking retards. Yes. Okay. For two separate reasons, mind you. Oh, okay. Okay. So, Dick, you're a fucking retard because of your fucking alt-tab shit, right? I know it's a couple weeks since then, but, like, I have a job.

So, fuck you. No, that's hard. That's a big problem. Alt-shift-tab will bring you back to the previous tab. Shift, add it into your fucking hotkeys. Yeah, idiot. Alt-shift-tab, moron. Brings you back every time.

Yeah, but you don't know you fucked up, you slow fucking idiot. I'll shift tab, moron. Yeah, but you don't know you fucked up, you slow fucking idiot. The whole fucking Dame Peso stinger war. Like, what the fuck, man? Wait, what? You self-professed dick sucker. Like, you enthusiastically suck dick, albeit on,

you know, passable trans women. Like, you suck dick. Which is cool. Don't fucking fight homophobia with homophobia. Like, fight homophobia with being homosexual. Homosexual. Don't call him Dame Pesos. Call him Dame Bezos.

Give me kisses. Yeah, you should be aggressively. I should aggressively be hitting on Dame Pesos. It's really not that hard man Anyways Fuck you But I'm like the cool gay that like I find hot trans chicks And I you know

Do crazy chinky shit with them Yeah Tommy Pesos finds big gross dudes And he sucks their armpit hair That's what I was trying to you know get at I don't know if you're It's. I don't know if you're... It's different. I don't know if you're making the point that you think you're making.

It's different. Okay. I think my stinger was fantastic, and I think most people agree. Okay. Here's another one. Biggest problem in the universe is retards who live places where natural disasters periodically happen yes like i don't understand how these people in florida are getting fucking evac'd off their roofs and like floods and shit and then go you know what i'm gonna just fucking stay here

and live here like what what are you doing like we know we have proof that every single fucking year a hurricane comes through and destroys everything. Why would you live somewhere where every year all your shit gets destroyed? Is it like some sort of insurance scam? Like, I don't get it. Is everybody in Florida in on this? It just doesn't make any goddamn sense to me. Why would you choose to continue living somewhere that your shit is constantly getting fucked up?

Well, I'm smiling because if Jerry Seinfeld said this idea, it would be funny. Yeah. But this guy's not funny. This guy doesn't have the delivery. Why do you live in an area? Why do you live in an area

that gets wiped off the map every year? Is that a challenge to God? Right? Gotta get a new map. You see that story I posted Where some guy had like a video game store Right in the path of the hurricane And instead of like

Putting everything in plastic bins And putting it in a U-Haul or something He's just like, ah, it'll be fine And the whole store gets flooded And he's got no insurance He's got no insurance? He had like $100,000 worth of insurance On $2 million worth of inventory

And then they have the nerve to post a GoFundMe And they're like gamer community Can you help us out it's like no Did they not help them out They gave them like 8 grand or something Really yeah I think it's called 8 bit Shit what's it called

8 8 bit 8 bit hall of fame was the name of the store Oh it's a good name It's not a bad name. Flooded? Hit news, the news tab. News?

I spelled it Ness. Yeah, that's not going to help you at all. Okay. News. Hurricane Ian. U.S. Hurricane Ian. I thought they were going to name them women now. Well, what we found out was it alternates.

I guess it goes between man, woman, man, woman. It should only be named women. Yeah, those are the better ones the better ones maybe it's name got corrected on a previous show I thought it was all women's names but it just so happens that the male hurricanes are typically pussy hurricanes a man sits in his oh there's Hulk Hogan not Hollywood Hulk Hogan yeah I guess this one doesn't have it I don't know I'd post it on Twitter but basically they had a ton of video games they had like a ton of cool shit And uh US Hurricane Destroys Museum and 8-Bit

They called it a museum but it was just a game store They had a bunch of pictures of like everything flooded And you're like all you had to do was go to Home Depot And buy plastic bins You know maybe tie them up like Yeah it might knock them over but everything Wouldn't have got waterlogged and destroyed Well that's a shame.

Here's another one. Yes. What's going on, fellas? Just wanted to say, the biggest problem in the universe is those stupid fucking stickers that women put on their car that say, like, silly boys, trucks are for girls, or you just got passed by a girl. Yes. First of all, women shouldn't even be fucking driving, all right? That's something that Saudi Arabia has right. Inshallah. Thank right inshallah thanks for that inshallah many other things but secondly when i see one of those

i don't go oh fuck a woman just passed me oh my god i go shit i better slow it out i mean i got my son in the back seat who knows what this dumb bitch in front of me is gonna do yes 100% of accidents are women's fault yes stupid as fuck on the road or whether some guy gets in an accident. Absolutely. And he's stressed out about what's going on at home. It's just unbelievable. They think it's this thing where it's like, oh, fuck, I can't believe that just happened. Oh, my God.

Yes. There's no way she just passed me. Oh, that's crazy. She's like, fuck you. You're not special. You're just a four who has a truck. I don't care. Anyway, thanks, fellas. Goodbye, guys. Yes.

Yes. All right. This is my new favorite bit. I'm not going to lie. Yes, yes, yes. The woman must not drive. The woman must not put sticker. She must not drive.

She is to distress Allah. She distress Allah. Do you have any more women things here? I don't know. She must be put in the dirt like the demons that she is. Inshallah, inshallah. God is my language. Akbar. Akbar.

This is a great bit. You need to bookmark this song because itmark this song You need to save this song I've already How do you think I found it so fast? Of course, it's in our playlist The woman must not die If the woman was not cut off the penis They have the bumper sticker that says

Silly boy, a jeep is for a woman But they do not even know A jeep stands for a GP, but they do not even know a Jeep stands for a GP, general purpose. Yes, yes, yes, brother Masterson. This is an insult against the great Allah, is a most terrible insult against our God. Women drive a Jeep like a man or drive a motorcycle. It is the same. Inshallah.

Inshallah. Preach, brother. Okay. All right. Should we just do Super Chance? Oh, real quick. Do we... Any Dame Vito Stinger Battle?

Let's get one more. I got it on this. Let's see. Hey, guys. I think it's decided. Let's get rid of that second voted up bit And just bring in the Dame Vito Stinger battle

Did you hear what he said? No I think he was saying that he wants to stop doing the voted ups And just do Dame Stinger Dame Stinger battles I think we're going to run out of Dame stuff as well We'll see No, you just have to make it homoerotic.

Well, now that we have 10 voted up Stingers, I said when we hit 10, I would upload a compilation to our YouTube channel. Okay. So if you want to hear all the Stingers again, I will put that up over the next week. Okay. Here is the... Let's check out the super chats. What do you think about Taylor?

Do you think he'll invite you on PKA? No. You should bother him more if you're so fucking bold about self-promotion that you don't care about how it looks. I'll take the invitation, but he's gonna go to him and he's gonna go, I know this cat fucker,

and they're gonna go, I just don't think he's right for this shit. Yeah, but according to you, you should press for it. Alright, fine. I'll fucking bother Taylor. You should put him on blast on Twitter. Well, that was your whole thing. So go up. No, it's the seventh. Not enough super chats today, guys. Come on. Let's get them in there. Yeah. Mike Hunt for five entertainment recommendations. Manga, golliseum, TV shows, Mr. Inbetween, comic books, The Ballad of Halo Jones Anime Gunsmith Cats

What a great recommendation Have you ever seen Gunsmith Cats? You would like it It is an anime about a girl who runs a gunsmithing store I don't like girls and guns Why? Why not? Because it's like

Give me a break You don't want to see chicks with guns Why? Why not? Because it's like, give me a break. Give me a break? You don't want to see chicks with guns? It's so attention-worry. No, I don't like that. She runs her own gunsmithing shop out of Chicago. What am I going to? Oh, yeah.

How many shots do I get out of this gun? A buck and a half? It's like all just gun and car porn. Oh, my God. It just happens to star hot chicks. I got computers. I don't need hot chicks anymore. Shut the fuck up.

Gunsmith Cats is great. Mike, hot for 10. This time last year, everyone was so mad about Israel and or Palestine. I guess the biggest problem in the universe is caring about anything and getting all red faced while pretending to make a difference. Yeah, you can't make a difference. Was everybody mad at Palestine last year? Remember?

I swear to God. Because Palestine was fucking around. Well. I mean I Was fucking with you fuck it are they fucking no they're not fucking me. I'm not fucking with you fucking with Israel Well, they're launching rockets said they can watch rockets Israel stole all their homes. Well, move on. I agree. But it was like as soon as the Palestine thing happened, I went to the dog park that day,

and this fat bitch walked by with a free Palestine shirt. Really? It looked brand new. How did she get that so quick? Yeah, that's what I thought. How did this fucking fat chick get a free Palestine shirt? Well, she might have had. You're saying it would look brand new, though.

It was brand new. Mike Hunt for five. Maybe the biggest problem in the universe are the friends we made along the way. No, those aren't the problems. We love our friends. MKUltraVictim for $1.99. Get Nick Rakeda on PKA, inshallah. Oh yeah. TheCoof for two. Thank you all for not killing yourselves. We're working on it.

Mike Hunt for five. I was hating on AI art but it generated a girl with three butt cheeks so i'm starting to come around that's pretty good get in on that maxwell re we chules for 4.99 future pka guest recommendations i highly recommend include nf krz the critical drinker razor, Hexenhammer66. Get those people on our show. If you guys have more stuff that you want Taylor to see, super chat it. He'll probably watch now that he's gone. He'll probably just watch to see what he missed. Yeah, he's going to come back and watch all this.

So leave him more super chats. Mike Hunt for five, creating art is like feeding one's own soul. AI cannot take that away from the artist. There's more to art than the praise of others. Arts of Hammer. David Gomez for five. The biggest problem in the universe is Taylor being the only member of PKA to not derail incredibly interesting guests with fitness or Kyle Manchild media habits.

We like Taylor. He's a good guy. The PKA fans Are So aggressive Yeah About their criticism Of the show Of their own show That they're watching

That they love It's shocking Wow And the hosts Ignore it mostly Good It's the most Bizarre dynamic

And they just hate They hate the people In the podcast They're watching I mean how shitty and sarcastic Is that You get an interesting guess but it gets derailed by Fitness talk I could understand that being a problem

Well Nathan Dendinger For a big $50 on the board We still don't have a sound effect. We need like a celebration. I fell for it. No. Not that.

Best PKO. You don't even know what those are when you touch them, do you? Yeah, I can read them. That one sucks. I labeled them. What do you want, that one? No. Don't you have like an explosion? Here I got one I'm a retard

Yeah that's the one For 50 Best PKA host on tonight Hell yeah This 50 is for you We'll make sure he gets it Just get with Masterson And I'm sure he'll get that all sorted out for you

By the way I hate Vito all you want But at least you can understand his diss track That's true Very clear Compared to Dames Mm-hmm Vito

Is a homosexual And he puts Peelings in his butt They might be black They might be black Pop quiz for $4.99 Keep up the stingers Vito No Vito said

He's not gonna do it now No more Until we get to $6,000 Come on We can go brag On Salvo Pancakes show. I didn't brag on Salvo Pancakes show. It was in the green room between whatever. What is it if it's not bragging?

What were you saying? They asked why I live in Los Angeles. Okay. And part of the reason is so I can do this podcast because the podcast pays my rent. So that's why you live in los angeles that's part of it why would i leave where else would you go uh new hampshire you'd move back to new hampshire well massachusetts where i'm originally from but would you be like a long shoreman with a tuna boat i'm gonna work in the knife factory really uh what do you call it pka

uh pioneer valley knife and tool that's what you're gonna do yeah jerry said he'd send me What do you call it? PKA Pioneer Valley Knife and Tool. That's what you're going to do? Yeah. Jer said he'd send me a free... I'm trying to get him to sponsor the podcast. Tell him to come to the show. Everyone email Jer at PKA and tell him... How do you spell Jer? J-A-I-R.

It's Jeremiah. It's probably easier. J-A... I-R. J... Jeremiah. Just put Jeremiah. J-A-I-R. Yeah, that J-A-I-R That's what we always called him

That's what I call him I think everybody knows him as Jeremiah At PKA At PKA what? Well it was PKA.Vegas But then his brother died so they left Vegas .Vegas? Yeah cause they lived

The store used to be in Vegas I don't know where it's at now There's a dot Vegas? Yeah What the fuck? How do you get that? You sign up for it I don't know

It's still at PVK Vegas But they're not based in Vegas anymore So you're going to move back to Massachusetts Unless the Patreon hits like $10,000 a month Yeah, I'm going to go work Like he's literally said If you want to make videos about knives Full time

You don't want that I would make videos about knives Then you you don't want that i would make videos about knives then you're gonna be the fucking knife guy go to their instagram they got they got all sorts of stuff you don't want to be this guy though you don't want to be the knife knife no no no no i've seen i've seen people oh i've seen people go down this road this is like qvc level where's the instagram i don't know you'd have to type in p just type in pvk instagram or something pka pvk oh pvk and a pka you said it was pka well that would not make sense that's the name of the podcast pvk vegas on instagram yeah his brother

died who owned the thing it's a a very sad story. And now Jer runs the operation. Fucking Instagram. They just post cool pictures of knives on Instagram. Look at those knives. Show the people these knives. Because you know what? He's gonna get a bunch of traffic

and they're gonna tell people you came from Biggest Problem who was showing off all these cool knives. Okay. That you could be buying right now. Wow, that's cool. That thing is nuts. I bet you could cut off a trans woman's dick.

No, no. That's good. Oh, because she wants it to be cut off. Yeah, you're right. That's progressive. It's not violence. I was told they just sold a number of knives. I don't know if I can announce this, but I'm going to say it anywhere To Post Malone What?

PVK is the knife distributors They get a lot of celebrities When they're in Vegas they used to get celebrities So they gotta be in Vegas No because they were running like Dude it's a They were on the strip That's the problem

It was like trying to run a knife And they were open like 24 hours or some shit I don't fucking know You gotta be able to get a knife at any moment it's just better to have a warehouse in the woods and you ship knives around the country it's like so much easier you need like you need a reality show you need like pond stars gonna make a knife reality show have you seen the shit that they're putting on make it like it's the fattest knife store in the world everyone who works here is too fat well the guys who make the knives are cool, but they don't work.

They contract all these guys who make runs of 10 custom knives. Yeah. You fly them out. Yeah, you can fly them out. You get to meet and greet them. Look, you could make it a show. I've seen Orange County Choppers, all right? Yeah, I know.

And then you have a dynamic in the store where you're yelling at each other. The knife guys, you know. And they're always like knife fighting. And there's always like knife fights in like every episode. I'll fucking kill you. I'll fucking kill you. And I'm like, oh yeah? How about this?

How about this? Doing the fucking hand thing. Yeah. Anyway, guys, pvk.vegas. I'm giving them a free plug for no reason. Yeah, but you're not even saying it in a way that you can understand. PVK? PVK.

You said, okay. PVK PVK.Vegas It used to be Pioneer Valley Knife and Tool Until they left the Pioneer Valley And went to Vegas And then they returned to Well they're in New Hampshire now which is not the Pioneer Valley But still It's a long complicated story

My buddy runs a knife warehouse And that's where I will be working when this podcast When I inevitably betray Dick and have to leave California. Maybe I'll leave California. It would be so bad. And we'll see. Who knows? Who knows how to betrayal. Either way, I'm going to make

knife videos and I'm excited about it. Okay. I'm trying to get him to send us knives. I said, just send us some knives to show on the show. Just send us some fucking knives or we'll kill you. Colonel J for five, talk about getting defederated. Also, please switch to pleroma. Oh, my God.

Talk about tattletales. I saw that thing. The owner of Post, P-O-A dot S-T, is a big bitch ass reporting motherfucker. Fucking deplatforming bitch-ass. Psycho. Well, he accused... Psycho. He or she, because I don't dox anyone.

I think it's a lady. Honestly. And accused you of doxing them? He said... He or she, probably she... Yeah. Said some cunty comment, like, well, there's doxing going on on your... I have Spurg.city

right but I just made so I could follow Mr. Medeker right cause he's off twitter and he was he was on

so Mr. Medeker oh here we go Mr. Medeker Mr. Medeker moved to post okay in the federated twitterverse

right and I used to have paypig paypig.org on yes and I was like well I shut down paypig.org

cause there's just a bunch of fucking whack jobs registering and thereorg Because there's just a bunch of fucking whack jobs Registering and there's like There's just child porn all over Yeah I was gonna say Yeah yeah yeah yeah And people are like well what happened

Yeah I'm not fixing it It's deleted, gone So I'm sorry, I have other shit I gotta do Right So I made this one little instance Because the guy at post thought i was a pedophile and real quick for people who don't know what the fediverse is it's like an alternate twitter that's decentralized uh that's one way to put it yeah um it's like social media it's like a

honeypot for insanity sure there's a lot of crazy people everyone who's been banned from twitter is on there the more you hang out with people who've been banned the more you think like yeah you kind of deserve it You don't have any intrinsic value other than the rate at which you consume media. And you don't generate any monetization from that. So I'm starting, I'm

siding with like, I'm siding with the Koch brothers, honestly. Like, you're a machine that takes oil, but you don't produce debt, so you should be killed. Like, you're like a dysfunctional part that doesn't work, so let produce debt so you should be killed like you're like a dysfunctional part that doesn't work so let's just trade you down so you set up a node just for you i set up a node just for me and i let like a couple people on ralph is one of them right so uh for i am i was at the hospital and uh for having my penis reduced again because it never stops growing like a shot

And I get it out of control. I get a notification saying oh, there's doxing on your server Address this right away, or you'll be defederated. I'm like what the fuck. What are you talking about? Just mean it. There's like four guys on here He goes here. There's a link to Ralph. And I click on it, and it's like a name. A name? Did Ralph just post a name? Ralph posted a name, the owner of Post. Yeah.

He said, like, Tom, the owner of Post. It was like a name, the owner of Post, leaked my IP address to try to, like, triangulate. Because Ralph's, like, hiding from all these fucking women who are trying to hunt him. All these women are bent out of shape because Ralph fucked a young girl, a woman, an adult woman. And they're like, the only way to piss off women permanently is to fuck one who's younger than them. Yeah. No man cares.

All this drama is just so stupid to me. But please go on. Oh, it's stupid. Because the only reason I created the fucking account Is to follow Mr. Medeker Because I think he's funny Which now you can't do Which now I can't do Because I've been defederated

By this fucking psychotic broad That cut me off for the instance For doing nothing So I said well he's got a It's a name I don't think that's doxing. Yeah.

If it's already out there, if it's your name. Once your name's out there, your name's out. You cannot be doxed twice. It's like being de-virginized twice. Like, oh, my name's this. Like, ah, you got me. Oh, my name's this. It's like, well, yeah, everyone, you've already been doxxed.

Your documentation, like, your doxx is already out there. You can be doxxed, like, your address can come out later. It's not even as fucked as an address. So I said, well, I mean, I don't think that's doxxing. I mean, I don't know if that's doxxing, but, like, on post, people use my real name all over the place. So your own rules are fucked, bro. And they tried to say that your name is not a dox but their name is she graph she the lady that owns post said well you go you're

a public person and you go by your name i'm like i don't go by my name right um but you know uh i'll i'll look at it Like when I get home So I get home And I'm defederated Which means I can't see Anybody on that whole thing I'm like alright

Can you see it like Anonymously or something I don't know I haven't tried Because I don't care So I went to my like You're going to get me banned From post now

They don't want me on there Oh don't be on there I shouldn't be using it You shouldn't If you're do not use post she's like checking your ips and delete your fucking so then the post lady the owner post craft send a picture that she like reported me to my web host like there's doxing like she did all this crazy shit so i go to my roof because ralph posted a name so i go to my i go to my admin

panel to see like okay well what, well, what actually happened? Like, there must be some reports. Yeah. So I go click on reports, and there's nothing. Yeah. I'm like, so you mean to tell me that you just did all of this shit without even clicking fucking report? This person? So I can't see anything.

Is there a different instance? Well, you tell me later. I mean, there's a ton. So I'll just use a different one. Use mine. Use Spurg City. Well, no, because you're not connected to anything now. Oh, yeah, use another one. So now I still can't fucking see Mr. Medeker. So now it's just me and Ralph talking to each other.

Yeah, I know. I like that you offered. You're like, well, you can use mine. I'm like, you just told me. Delete post. Delete post. The owner of post, Grav, is a reporting bitch who reports who flagged. It's not even false. It's like this is false flagging. Whatever Vito did, this is a hundred. She personally emailed my web host of my $6 a month Spurg.city account. Can you believe that this woman did this to me? Fuck Graphs.

And then somebody sent me this like graph of of talking about how they were gonna kill themselves like this whole fucking Graf was gonna kill themselves for being doxxed? Um, I don't know it was this mentally ill How about don't start like a Fediverse instance for like internet shit posters if you're at all worried about your

name getting out. Or just kill yourself. Yeah, you're inviting them. Just fuck, like what good have you done? What good have you done what good have you done period no get you luring people onto post and not having like not having the mental fortitude to protect that platform endangers those people they so then i found out that they did release like ips of people to try to find to find Ralph and that they've admitted to reading direct messages I'm like bitch you are this is fucking insane. Yeah, it's Twitter. This makes Twitter look like the fucking good guys Yeah, so fuck post fuck fed fuck Federation web 3 will blow it out of the water It's a big fucking waste of time. Fuck you. Who did this thing? Colonel J? Thank you for the

five dollars. There you go. That's my... Please clip it and put it on post TV. I don't know any... I just went on there because everyone was talking shit about me and I wanted to be like, well, you know, I talk shit back a little bit. Don't talk shit too hard or you'll... Well, yeah, that's

the thing. I mean, the craziest thing is is is now that now everyone knows oh just use their name and they fucking they spaz out and freak out constantly yeah like it's just well now that yeah now that's the other thing is if they hadn't gone at you i would have been like oh they probably know their names public who knows but now it's like yeah now you know how to get at them. Here. It's a whole thing. Owner of Post. Oh, they corrected it. Here, hold on.

Owner of Post. Well, of course, it's John Post. Well, that's the worst thing. I'm like, I don't know that that's your name. Right. It's just a name that he posted. I don't fucking know. How is you posting IP addresses and that's not, like, I know that's not Ralph. Is that you the point is the names out there?

We don't know we're not gonna say what it is. I don't even know what it is I'm gonna assume it's Sally post from the yeah the town of post, Michigan. Yeah And what can you do? What can you do? What can you do? Whatever Fuck I fucking hate people Go ahead Matt Barr for five

Mateo Roberto here Thanks for displaying my art Which art is Mateo's? He was the one with you on a bike and stuff All the wonderful AI generated stuff I don't want to say your name Matt Barr That's great

Thank you Sam Toms for five Love you dick Hoper that's great thank you Sam Toms for five love you Dick hope your arm's better hope you're doing good Taylor hi Vito

hi Sam Robert Picklesnickle for 20 American dollars wow wow get Shane Gillis on the show that would be a get

but sure let's get him I don't know he's probably too busy nah Ryan Long knows him I'm sure

yeah Petty for 20 you gotta make more friends in comedy like me doesn't that Nah, Ryan Long knows him, I'm sure. Yeah. Petty for 20. You gotta make more friends in comedy like me. Doesn't that big story I told you sound like I'm making friends in comedy? It's hard to make friends in comedy. Comedians are a fickle bunch. I'm becoming friends with Def Noodles, the king of comedy. Oh, good, good.

He's doing a thing tonight. I wonder if they're live streaming it. Petty for 20. I can't believe the new Stingerton mentioned a throat being cut. I'd have bet that Vito had a thing for it like Tarantino in choking. How many rows did it have to be?

You almost got me. Be fair. Sure it was at least three. That was pretty good. Good one. De Grps for five on the third day Pope Arankas rises he is alive

the locks for ten have not listened yet just opened the stream to donate thanks you guys for getting the legend to tailor on the show I already know this one will be great I'm going to say it was a great show I had a lot of fun Jazzfan22 for five biggest the overall biggest effing angering inexcusable ridiculous

problem in the universe is people with bike racks on their car that look like cop cars that's pretty good yeah yeah cop fairings or when people buy uh crown victorias and they don't like repaint them so you think there's a cop right next to you yeah mike hunt for five i want to see a true crime reenactment with a vd look-alike and his cat recounting events with a blurred face and voice distortion my cat is so happy and satisfied you're wrong for 9.99 dick and vito what are your thoughts on the nick ricotta youtube situation apparently if you spam report it's an instant permaban i honestly thought it was a joke but tbf i was wrong very close yeah if you actually want us to comment oh okay so is nick uh doxing people then graph let us know i mean let us know honey is nick on is nick on their fucking

doxing because you guys got to fucking pick one pick one yeah nick would nick would be accused of doxing under those rules I mean he published a list of names I just think Nick's flying too close to the sun You're making a bunch of money Stop as you keep saying Stop messing with Keffels Who cares about Keffels Just stop

You have a good thing going This little trans Pretty boy Pretty girl Stop see you're doing it too I don't know why it's so hard for people to just say she's an adorable lady.

She is a lady. It makes me so sick. Well, the problem is when it's a lady who looks like a pretty boy that you want to... I don't get it. It makes... It arouses such contempt in my heart

When people correct me By deadnating By misgendering Keffels I'm like oh what'd she say She God you're so weak If this was like a prehistoric time And we were out on the hunt

It was like 8 guys We gotta bring home a mammoth or something To feed our village or we're gonna die yeah right and then you are the guy who's gonna like oh do we it's like I would instantly kill you instantly

if I'm like everyone everyone be quiet you're like oh should I be quiet I would beat you to death and all the other guys go like yeah awesome that you did that because that guy was fucking things up But I want to make the argument That I'm so not misgendering Keffels That I think of her as a woman

So to insult her I want to refer to her as a boy Which I don't think that she is Okay In the same way that if I saw a woman You know like I had female friends Where I go oh you look like a teenage boy You gotta tell it to the judge buddy

when the misgendering judges show up I'm so far ahead of the curve that I'm regressing that's the problem either way Nick just not until you like Nick Fuentes Nick Ricada should just watch court cases and not fight with Keffels and his

life will be so much easier for it and he'll be just as popular I think he feels like he needs to fight with Keffels, and his life will be so much easier for it, and he'll be just as popular. Keffels is right. I think he feels like he needs to fight with Keffels for some reason. Like, his audience demands it of him. I think Keffels is making people crazy. Yes.

She's making people say stupid things. Dirk America. I think he's got his channel back. That's not a statement on Nick. I'm just saying. Keffels makes people say dumb things. Don't wade into it. Don't be a part of it. It's not a Stephen Onig. I'm just saying. Keffel's makes... I know. Keffel's is making people say dumb things. Don't wade into it. Don't be a part of it.

It doesn't benefit you at all. You know what's happening. You see what's happening. And you're like, well, I got to get Noah on here and hear his side of it. You don't need to do that at all. Keffel's is getting kids to do drugs. Yeah. I do drugs as a kid.

I also... I also HRT Who fucking gives a shit Who fucking cares great they could join the army then They could have a fucking sex change at 15 And join the fucking army No you cannot care fuck em Kevles is also not the only person doing that Is the other thing

Who fucking cares They're just gonna grow up and vote Fuck em Big ups, Merca Screw Dick and Vito, you're lovely You're lovely as too Coup for five This is the airing of the grievance episode

Yeah Vito complained about not getting a thank you For bringing in snacks Actually, I always feel bad Because I take all of Dick's snacks I drink Dick's soda And eat his chips Take them or leave them

It doesn't need to be commented on Well, there you go Michael winning for five. Lull suit two. Electric Boogaloo incoming. This time over promotion. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

You didn't promote the show good enough. Me 420 for five. Vito promotes his problems on the show every week and still loses most of the time. TBF to Dick. I'm trying to be. Petty for five. One of this podcast hosts has a card game. Buy winner's drink.

No, both of this podcast hosts have a card game. Buy enemy weapon. Lemon sake for two euros. Pounds. I heard euro only makes $30 a year after taxes. That's true. That's why we need to get the Patreon to say, tell your friends. Here's the thing people don't do with podcasts.

I'll keep reading them. No. I'll keep reading them. I'll keep reading them. People do not understand that you should, if you enjoy a podcast, just tell two friends. That's going to be my biggest problem challenge of the week is this week. Can you find two people who, you know, would pry? You can probably guess who would like the show. Is it a big fat chick? She's probably not going to like the show. Is it like another dude who likes slinging shit and, uh, you know, doesn't mind the occasional racist joke and playing Islamic music as we talk about how much we hate women. Okay. Well, you know who

would like the show. Just go buddy. I think you would like this podcast and send, send them a link, pick your favorite episode. You probably got a favorite episode. And, uh, that's, that's how we grow this thing, people. Cause you go, you go, how come Shane Gillis isn't on that show? Cause I got, I made the document. I have a document that's like, here's why you should be on the show. And it says, here's our iTunes download numbers. Here's our YouTube position. Here's whatever. Our numbers are like, okay.

You know, I send it to some guests and they go, wow, that's cool. I don't normally get invited on podcasts. But if I send that to like Shane Gillis, he's going to go, oh, you guys aren't, you guys aren't even in the top 200 podcasts. Why don't I give a shit? You know, you only have this many download numbers. So you got to grow the show. Then we get better guests

Then we have more fun Right Dick? Yeah Right Tell your friends Tell your friends I challenge them They gotta tell two

Tell two friends Or don't come back Tell two friends Or don't come back Mike Hunt for two Circumcision is a subset Of baby boomers Okay

Mike Hunt for two Ask Trixie about her five skin Oh yeah Uh Digibro Well fucking Trixie about her five skin. Oh, yeah. Digi bro. Well, fucking Trixie. Right. Big old anteater.

Four skin. Okay. Which is probably enjoyable. I don't know. She's liked it. Seems to like it. Seems to have led to a long and prosperous life. Inflation for two.

Who's the guy in the middle with the huge owl head? Well, that was Taylor. He knows. David Gomez for five. More proof that Vito stinks. You don't get cheese when you don't wash. Like the cheese in Vito's folds. Sincerely uncut to our bone.

All right. You got cheese, motherfucker. I bet you do. That boy Mikey for 537. I like the weird donations. My biggest problem is not enough Taylor I agree Permanent third chair

Umpty Madoofer2 Ask David Reamer How he liked his circumcision Which one's David Reamer? I don't know Is it like a serial killer? I'm not a fucking joke Mike Hunt42

You can grip your foreskin To avoid mess Life hack That's true You can hold it in You know What do you mean that's hold it in, you know? What do you mean that's true?

Why do you know? Well, I'm just, because, I don't know. I would imagine. It's like you got a plastic bag over it all the time. Okay, maybe. Petty for five. Some new filioplasties are actually done with meat grown from cadaver flesh. Man-made horrors beyond our comprehension.

So they grow a dick for it? Jesus Christ. Umptimidu for five you don't got the order wrong the pp sucking occurs after not before numerous babies have died due to herpes because of it i think i've heard of babies getting herpes i haven't heard of them dying to the herpes dying to herpes well they get it from the pre the after the bris hold on one second priest will uh suck on their wee wee oh and they'll get herpes from that and they've gotten herpes from uh when the jewish uh what is the jewish priest um a mashugana uh rabbi when the rabbi kisses their baby dick oil they get uh herpes uh mike hunter for two. Not many consensual circumcisions. Yeah.

Scroll up. Pop quiz for $9.99 says more stingers. Well, guys, again, tell two friends. Two friends. You could message one right now on Discord or Facebook. We'll wait. Send them a link to a prior episode, one of your favorites. Let's take a minute of silence for all the Russian soldiers that have been killed.

No. Ukraine and Ukraine. No, not that. God, Ukraine's getting Russia's getting their asses kicked. It's hilarious. Why is it hilarious? Because, man, what the fuck? You don't start a war and then immediately give all your tanks to the other side through incompetence.

It is a special military exercise. It's not a war. You're right. They're just trying to set Don Bass free. That's what Putin said at the beginning. He said it. You know what's fucking crazy? What? I remember having this conversation on the show with Sean. I'm like, what if he's just doing it to set these two areas free

that have been voting for their independence for a long time? Don Bass and what's the other one? Lou Hanks. Lou Hanks. Yeah. No, but then he voted on like four provinces then he what didn't went there four provinces that he's annexing not already got taken okay well they're taking them why would you want to be in ukraine

why why would you want to be in russia because russia is at least run by like a Christian man. Zielinski's like a fucking actor. Why would you want Zielinski? Zielinski is a fame whore. So? Actor. Okay, so. Yeah, United States has never had anything like that. How good did we do?

You voted for Donald Trump. He's not an actor. You can't go, he is an actor. He's literally been in multiple movies. Home Alone 2 that they cut him out of. He's in Home Alone 2. He was a an actor. You can't go out. He is an actor. He's not an actor. He's literally been in multiple movies. Home Alone 2 that they cut him out of. He's in Home Alone 2. He was a Pizza Hut commercial man.

That was a great commercial. Yeah, he acted very well because he's an actor. He's a businessman. Zelensky plays piano with his dick or his balls or something. Comedy for women. You watch that? It's not funny. Everything Trump has done is hilarious. It doesn not funny. Everything Trump has done is hilarious. Maybe it doesn't translate.

Everything Trump has done is hilarious. When you... Did you see Trump say, I never saw a skinny person drinking a diet coke? Nipples... Only Rosie O'Donnell. Only Rosie O'Donnell. You know that's funny. Zelensky's like doing some talent

show that women watch. If Zelensky starts talking about fat women. Will you then support Ukraine? Yeah, but he's not funny. He's not funny. Maybe it doesn't translate. Oh, humor has no language. You know this. You know that he's not funny.

Look in your heart. You know that Zelensky's not funny. I never said that he was funny. He doesn't need to be funny. Then what is he? He's a great leader and a great man. How is that possible if he's not funny? Why would you want to be?

Are all the great leaders across time funny? Yeah. Do you think Hitler was funny? What do you think was bringing people to the rallies? Well, I've been discussing this recently is that it seems like you like. Do you see him grabbing those asses when he's blindfolded? That's why Nick Fuentes is so powerful, is that he's funny.

That's what's so scary about him. He is powerful. Anyway, turkey sandwich for $9.99. I was raised in the slums of Mexico by my lesbian moms. We faced a lot of hardships, but they did everything they could to provide for me and my sisters. We call them the Super Barrio Mothers.

Why do you say barrio? That's not how they say it. I don't fucking know. Super Barrio. Barrio is not. It's funny, though. Refresh this shit. Well, guys, don't forget to get a couple last minute super chats in.

But this has been quite an episode. And go to PKA and say that Vito should be on and tell them not to talk about the cat stuff it's not it's not not should I have not brought that up to second a well whatever no women near the Barack

says petty for two that's true and they're not allowed on the horse Jack Rockstar for 499 biggest problem in the universe is women buying dogs because they're bored the giant pit bull next door is always barking also yellow dry erase markers ever like uh get to the point where a neighbor's pet is so annoying that you start fantasizing about how to kill it all the time yeah start like neighbors actually start like googling it as a joke oh antifreeze yeah someces of meat with nails in it.

That's too much. They're going to find that. We still, when we lived in the ghetto, there was one Mexican neighbor that I'm like, bro, you got to bring that dog inside. I'm going to fucking kill myself if I have to listen to that dog bark. Camera's content up 10. Vito, how much to shave the beard? You do not understand how hideous I will be without this thing.

I think that might be why they're asking. I know. So it would have to be a big number. Okay. It would have to be a crowd fund. JS Lang for five. Vito, if you host a knife fight reality show, just understand you have to be the bald, bespeckled guy, not the guy with the hat.

That's true. Every show needs that. John Doe for five. Why in the hospital, Masterson? I'll tell you about it on my show. Check the dick show coming Sunday. Spider Eternal for five. I'd tell a friend, but then Vito would vote for them to lose their job. Being uncut

is the best. Women love it. Vito's food problems are pretty funny. Why would I vote for the... Oh, because... Oh, you saw that Biden is decriminalizing or whatever with the marijuana, getting rid of all that? Well, he's not decriminalizing it. He's just doing... That's the next part.

No, he's just doing a retarded thing and trying to do part of it. Getting rid of all the felonies. He could reschedule it and just not make it federally illegal. No, it's not. I think that he's doing so bad that black voters are turning on him. He's like, uh, well, I guess we better make weed not legal.

Maybe he'll decriminalize it before the elections. He's going to undo all the work that Kamala Harris did. That's true. She put a lot of black people in jail for doing weed. Look, I have never. Let's be clear. Let's be clear.

I have defended Joe Biden on this program. I have never defended Kamala Harris. What if Trump had had like. A cop as his running mate? Yeah. Yeah, that would be awful. The gay conversion stuff was. It was misunderstood, but it was still bad enough

I'm like oh man I don't like this guy Yeah He should have had me as vice president I think I would have decertified that shit So fast I would have marched into Congress

And kicked Nancy Pelosi right in her stomach Fuck you bitch It is true Why didn't Trump just pick like Did he get anything from Pence? Because Jared Kushner Fucking Israel talked him into it That's why

Maybe he needed the money probably He didn't need shit He could have appointed anybody Does Israel love Pence? Is Pence a pro-Israel guy? No they love Jared Kushner But why did Jared Kushner hook him up with Pence? Because Pence is like an establishment guy

Like Biden. You know more of this politic, you know, politicking than me. Up team Madu for five. David Reamer was the baby that John Money turned into a little girl. Oh. Yeah. Oh. And he killed himself.

She killed herself. Check real quick if there's any more Super Chats. But guys, what a great show. And the best part about this show is we can't do it without your support. Well, I guess that's not the best part. Hold on. Gun Ranger for five. Vito said freedom of speech protects you from the government.

Probably Ranger. But who is forcing Alex Jones to pay then? An excellent point to end on. Okay. Dick, show me our most popular supporters, our best friends. Don't forget, you can join the list and get all the bonus episodes at patreon.com slash biggest problem. But please don't forget to vote at biggestproblem.show. We'll put up the problems right now after the show.

And please tell your friends to watch this show, the Two Friend Challenge. I want you guys to send your voicemails. Tell us how the Two Friend Challenge went. If one of your friends came back to you and said, I had to tell our boss that you're a racist and you have lost your job. Yeah, get fired for the show. That's the challenge. Yes. Send it to

two friends and let us know what they thought. Okay. And we're going to have some fun. Guys, biggest problem in the universe. Bye.