The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 60

Episode Date: October 17, 2022

Corporate Bootlicking, "no" Autocorrect, Anti-Semitism, Email

Slappity pow skip to pop pop cha cha cha. Oh, you think I should get hair plugs to fill in this side of my head So it goes like this. We're What do you mean I don't need hair plugs for that you should get a minoxidil Minoxidil Rogaine yeah Well that do stop any further hair loss, but I just get the plugs boom done Well, I mean yeah, I guess you could get the plugs. Elon's got them plugs Oh, Elon's got plugs for days you ever see the old Elon picture like he looks like a goblin Yeah, the old Elon now he looks fly. If I tried to get the plugs It would cost a fucking fortune because they'd have to do my whole fucking head at this point. How much?

Price it out? I think it's like 15K. They're coming down, though. 15K? Are they coming down? What's the worth of it? Yeah, what's the price of your self-image? You probably get the, what do you call it, gastric bypass before I worry about the hair, right? No, because that doesn't work.

That shit doesn't work. It doesn't work. It works for a period of time. It's like a quick fix. And those fats stretch it all out again now. I know a lot of people have gotten it, and yeah, they get back there. You see Boogie? Didn't Boogie get gastric bypass?

Yeah, he should have got asterisk bypass, because that's where his head is. But he never got skinny. That's the weird thing. Usually with gastric bypass, there's like a year or two where they're like, hey, it worked. Where they look like they're just walking around like a head on a deflated bean bag. Everyone has to go, wow, you look

great. You look fantastic. You look way better than when you were fat. Well, it's an improvement. See how he lost his money in crypto? You realize me and Boogie could be doing this show And he could be raking in the dough

And losing it on crypto You are laughing at Boogie losing all his money I'm like, I don't know He's kind of a tragic figure Yeah, but he fucking deserves it Why does he deserve it? Because he tried to kill Frank Hassel? Yeah, that was actually not even on my list

That was one of the funniest things I've ever seen I look at Boogie Kill Frank Hassel? Yeah, that was actually not even on my list. That was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. I look at Boogie. He should put together like a GoFundMe to actually go kill Frank Hassel. I'll pay for that. It'd be cool if that's one of his last things he does before he leaves the mortal coil. I think he's a guy who, you know, not everybody's prepared for this internet lifestyle. I mean, he got thrown into it at the beginning. Oh, yeah?

It's a guy like Chris Chan, who probably should have never been internet famous. And then when they rape their mom, you go, well, this is the end result. Yeah. And we're waiting to see what Boogie's end result is, because obviously this was a mistake from the start. You don't think he's cut out for internet life? He could be, but like... He's just like a born lying manipulator though a lot of people are like that i i just i told you know i'm gonna have to do what jeez i just said i never gonna do

this and now i've gotta go no wait excuse me let me do a better boogie impression hold on oh god Come on You know guys I said I would never do this But now I'm gonna have to go back to work And make videos For those of you listening to the audio Dick has jammed a piece of paper in his mouth To identify with Boogie's chiclet teeth And it did a pretty good job

I'm not gonna lie I thought I'd never have to work again Or make videos again. And now I got to make a, I got a new bit called Fat Watch. I don't know if you guys have seen that. I ripped it off from Dick Basserson. That's the reason he deserves to die. I just want you, I'm going to make a video.

And I want you to make sure you watch the video. Or else I'm going to have to get a job and I'm a felon And I can't do physical labor And I can't drive Uber Because I'll eat all the food I can't do DoorDash Because I'll eat all the food And you don't want me to eat the food, do you? Come on, give Gil a break

He's, you know I know you guys rip on me For all my excuses and whatever else But his, like, I can't possibly work Because of all these reasons Yeah He could drive DoorDash You know, lots of guys drive DoorDash

I was raped come on yeah he was raped and he had a hard time I don't know guys don't you take the fucking piece of paper out of your mouth already it's ridiculous guys don't you don't you watch your old pal boogie around I mean you're gonna have to kick around

anymore if it's not your old buddy boogie come on I think boogie is something of value to offer the world and if you have any crypto tips make sure you send them to don old buddy boogie come on i think boogie has something of value to offer if you have any crypto tips make sure you send them don't send boogie anymore crypto tips a man hi yay you ready sure why the fuck not what a lead-in The biggest problem in the universe. Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe. The only show that ranks every problem in the universe from trapping the top off your knob to not wearing the fucking hijab. Boom.

I was thinking, man, that was great. I'm going to sleep. Joining me as always is Vito Giswalde. Hey, Nick. What's up, buddy? How you doing? Very good Birthday week coming up

Oh, it's your birthday week Yeah Oh I'm not one of these guys I'm not like a birthday guy You know? Yeah, no guy is No, no

But we're gonna go, you know, get some dinner Hang out with the boys And Ralph's gonna be there Yeah, Ralph's gonna That's a coincidence You're gonna get slotted See, I am a little like I'm like, yeah, Ralph can come to my birthday party. It's going to be fucking nuts, but Ralph can come.

You know. I was going to ask, is Ralph allowed to come? Yeah, Ralph can come. I'm just. I don't know what to tell my normie friends. Like, listen, if he, you know, starts saying some stuff about different ethnicities, just roll with it. Wow. What's that supposed to...

He grew up in the South. That's true. He's the most tolerant of all people. Yeah. But if a waitress gives him the wrong drink, he's going to go, I don't care if you die. If that waitress comes back,

I don't care. I'd spit on a grave. If anyone has any strong opinions about Israeli foreign policy, let's just save them for another day. For it. We're all. Yeah, we love Israel, of course.

Because it's not really. Even saying it's foreign policy is anti-Semitic because that's Israel's area. Yeah. They're just doing domestic. Right. That's domestic policy. It's domestic policy. Talking about Palestine

Okay Absolutely Should we do last week? Yeah who won? I think it was you Circumcision apologist Oh good old Taylor

Taylor from PKA Bringing in the W Wow everyone really loved Taylor Yeah They said he should replace both of us Yeah Depending on the commenter It was either Wow they should replace both of us. Yeah different depending on the commenter It was either Wow, they should replace Vito with that guy or Wow Vita dick should get out of this fucking show And it's a place. I don't yeah

Those are always the best comments when we have a guest by the way is suggesting that I should be replaced as a co-host I really love those It's like wow, you could drop that sad piece of sack of shit Vito and get a real Fucking performer in there. Thank you, everyone, for those shows of confidence. No one can just make a compliment. No, just say something nice. It always has to neg me for some reason.

It's never like that was a good episode. It's like, this was better. This is the best episode in a while. What does that mean? You're the one that keeps listening and hearing it. You're the fucking idiot. Well, we bring it on ourselves. We're such a negative force for the world.

How can we expect our audience to bring positivity to the table? Fear of self-promotion. That was second place. I should have got deeper into that because. What? Well, because there are. I really do think it's a problem where a lot of these guys always come to me and they're like, God, I don't know. How do I be a YouTuber? How do I whatever? And I come to me and they're like god I don't know how do I be a YouTuber how do I

whatever and I'm like well first of all don't yeah invest in crypto scams I'm always arguing with Mr. Girl I'm like well at the end of your video did you tell people to like subscribe he's like I can't do that I'm like what the fuck are you talking about oh yeah or I'm like or like Patreon I'm like do you tell people to subscribe to your Patreon it's like that feels like begging

and I'm like yeah begging oh my god everyone please please get to our you guys, we almost are at 6,000. We're almost at 6,000. We're so close. And every dollar makes Boogie seethe with money that he doesn't have to waste in a crypto, another crypto scheme. I think every time you bring up that he was going to be your podcast co-host, it would have been an easy couple grand in the bank every month

It would have been the hardest couple grand of my life I'll tell you that I want to say, I don't think that guy would have lasted more than ten episodes I don't think he would have lasted five episodes He lasted none That's what he would have lasted, none I've talked to Boogie and I told him I'm like, listen man, you can make money

I told him just to do a Fatboy podcast I offered, I'm like, if me and you money I told him just to do a fat boy podcast I offered I'm like if me and you did a podcast about like losing weight and like fucking around it only has to be 17 minutes I would listen every just start the podcast when you guys start exercising and stop when you're done and be like five

minutes like every week oh yeah give it to me guys I'll be like boogie you have to log every meal and on every show we're gonna go through what we ate for the week. And you have to be 100% honest. You read my fucking mind. And everybody would tune in to be like, what did Boogie and Vito eat this week? Because I'd be like, listen, I ate an entire deep pizza.

I'm just fucked. People would be both rooting for us and rooting against us At the same time And there could be little challenges Depending on the weigh-in There's so much to do there But Boogie of course goes I don't know, nobody likes me

That won't work That's why they would listen Yeah, I know I told him that's like a good part It's good You are a heel Like I'm the heel of this show Everybody, every caller calls in And says, hey, fuck you, Vito.

And it works because it's fun. And you embrace it. Yeah. He can't embrace the hate. He doesn't know what to do with it. I don't know if you, I don't know if what you're doing is called embracing the hate. I embrace the hate. Okay.

They love to hate me. And they hate to love me. I had that exact same thought. I did that with my friend like 10 years ago. He's heavier than I am. And he's like, well, we eat the same. So I said, well, let's keep a food journal. So he kept a food journal.

And it turns out he ate exactly the same way that we ate when we were getting shit-faced together. Right. Which is like everything. Everything you can see. And then I ate normally the rest of the week. He's like, after a week, he's like, what the fuck do you even eat? Half a salad? I saw you had half of a niçoise

salad, and then you had the other fucking half for dinner. Are you lying? And I'm like, no, I wasn't that hungry that day. And his was like, eight beers during lunch. Oh my god, on a Wednesday? What the fuck is wrong with you?

See, that's funny. It's funny to watch fat people fail and maybe succeed at some things. Who knows? Well, Boogie, please do that. Okay, here is T-Dog. So funny story. This episode starts with a Vito is gay joke. The one weekend where my girlfriend invited her gay friends over.

Thanks guys. What? The Dame Bezos episode. Was that it? Is that, are they, do they have dicks? They need to take the sticks out of their ass so they can fit cocks up there.

What do you, there's gay guys that don't have a sense of humor about being gay. I would hope that the gay community, well, that's the thing is you had a generation of like gays who could laugh at themselves. They had to

or else it would get. The new gays, no jokes allowed. Can you imagine? Oh God. Oh my. What are these guys talking about?

They think sucking cock is funny? I don't understand. Sorry buddy. They're probably not gay. They're probably repressed straights just pretending to be gay Straights are more offended by homophobia

Than the typical homosexual That's definitely true Yeah Take the Snake Roberts says When I get two friends I'm definitely telling them About the biggest problem in the universe Oh thanks

Good Lambertar says I have a problem for you Dead man crusade I don't know what that is Oh yeah Idiots going off on a crusade to get an overpass secured because two people killed themselves by jumping off it at a one-year interval.

Oh, okay, he's pissed off about a public works thing. People that want to kill themselves will still do it, and the city spent that money. Oh, are they, like, rebuilding it so you can't jump off the fucking thing? They put a thing, a guard over it. Just let people jump off of shit. You know, did you see the... Especially the freeway Thing a guard over it Just let people jump off of shit You know Did you see the Especially the freeway

Yeah Cause it's mostly traffic If there's gridlock And you get to the front And it's like A car crash What if you get to the front And a guy like

Splattered all over the thing Yeah At least I got to see that That was worth waiting in line Yeah Good for you I would have paid for a ticket To see a dead body

I was gonna say Have you seen the Hudson Yards In New York The like big weird mall they opened yeah and they have that giant pine cone structure the vessel out front let me see that look up the vessel but uh it was supposed to be like this thing like you can walk up it's like a bunch of like interconnected staircases yeah it's kind of really stupid but they've shut it down. Is that it? No, that's not it. That's three gay. That's Lemon Party. That's Lemon Party.

Completely incorrect. Oh, yeah, this. I've seen this. Yeah. But it's been shut down for the last two years because kids keep going to the top of it and throwing themselves off. Huh. And you're like, oh, well. Sounds like a solution.

Oh, that's cool looking. It's kind of cool. I bet you could really run. I would like that to be in a Sonic Adventure game. Yeah, that's true.. It's kind of cool. I bet you could really run. I would like that to be in a Sonic Adventure game. Yeah, that's true. Looks like a video game level. You can run to the top and then throw yourself off because you live in New York.

Fatherhood. Please read this on the biggest problem in the universe. This is from MM. I try not to participate in parasocial relationships, but I recently realized that your internet Father's Day bit was more than a joke. I accidentally got a fat chick pregnant. When she told me, my first thought was, oh no, I'm finally going to be a statistic.

My second thought was Dick Masterson would be so disappointed in me. You are his internet dad. That's a lot of responsibility. Get rid of it. Get rid of the kid Either one Leave it up to her Two for one special if you knock the big one off Anytime I try to think about

My real dad's reaction I just cringe instead Fatherhood is the biggest problem in the universe And I should take responsibility for my actions But I just blame lock and load instead. Oh, is that? Oh, that was Taylor from PKA's semen producing thing. Oh, has he been using too much lock and load?

Probably. Thanks for the laughs, guys. I thought it was called like monkey gorilla. Gorilla spew? I don't know. That was a different highly effective product. Gorilla spew really gets it done. Doesn't come out for weeks, though. Last one. Hidden Cannoli says, I haven't had. That was a different highly effective product. Gorilla Spew really gets it done. Doesn't come out for weeks, though.

Last one. Hidden Cannoli says, I haven't had time for songs lately, but I'm still enjoying TDS and The Biggest Problem. I can't believe Vito told the whole internet that Q-tip story. What a guy. If you'd like to surprise him with this wonderful gift on Biggest Problem, it's an original song I wrote, so it shouldn't give you guys any copywriting issues. Do you want to hear this song?

I love the musical stylings of our community, of course. Yeah, this is from Ken Dahl and Hyde. Oh, I love that guy. I think this is it. Is that a guy or is it more than one guy? It's one guy. It's one guy. I can't believe that he writes the way he does.

Yeah, it seems like there's a lot going on in these songs. Ever have a cat in heat in your house? No. Shit, shit, shit. Okay. You got it. Adjust it. Okay, here we go. You ever have a cat and heat in your house? No Shit, shit, shit, okay Let me adjust it Okay, here we go You ever have a cat and heat in your house?

No You make a noise and you gotta grab the Q-tip and jack it off You just gently put it against And a cat has an orgasm in like two seconds It just goes Eeny, meeny, miny, moe Catch my kitty, let her know She's my favorite animal Kitty, you're incredible

Clawing all my furniture Licking on their assholes Pissing on my bed What a bunch of little rascals One kitty, two kitty, three kitty, four Kitties on the sofa, kitties on the floor Kitties on my bed, kitties on my mind If I had my way, I'd spend each day with kitties, that'd be fine I'm the fat cat daddy and I'm always adding to my kitty cat crew Cat poop keeps stacking, you can pet em, you can hug em Shake temptations, they come running, you can pet my kitties Know that I'm their daddy and I love em

Ask my pussy what her dad's like, she'll say His favorite pastimes include sliding Q-tips inside my virgin feline vaginal case They say, Vito, you're so sick, why fuck your cats with Q-tips? Because you stupid dipshit, my pinky finger's too thick Now, let's be clear, to be fair, I suck cocks too In the alley, drinkin' straight cocktail half-past two What? Get back here! This sex is dynamite, consensual and not a crime

Because my kitty kinda whined, it's justified, unlike your outrage Vito, that's horrible! Three other psychos online did it. That makes it normal. I want my G-toid and you're so mad. Like I'm Arnold and you're Sinbad. You're tweeting out in all caps. I'm coming inside all caps. It's not bestiality.

Strictly medical proof. My porn history's all dicks and tentacles. She's in heat five in the morning. I need sleep. I'm almost 40. It's like fucking your own grandma with a dildo when she's horny. It's platonic. I don't want it

yeah i think we gotta leave it as a teaser for the rest of the episode at the end for the other hand well some of that song was uh correct yeah the idea that i fuck all cats perhaps not as much well you're the big second place. I'm the big second place. And here I go. Dick, you know what the worst part of the working professional's day is? Dealing with women. Well, dealing with women in the workplace.

Well, this does relate to that because this is one of the ways They can contact you Dick my problem is email I hate this shit It's the worst This is like It's like antiquated Way of communicating Every day you log into a big box

I mean honestly You would hate You would hate email Go ahead I looked at my email inbox yesterday I was trying to organize it and it's like 50,000 Spam emails

Interspersed with like one or two I don't even believe you Google is decent at spam Well no cause they're like Stupid like uh Newsletters and like coupons And shit that you accidentally signed up for On another website And it's all just cluttering it up

I had like And also I think people hate me so they sign me up for newsletters You have that too Yeah I get a bunch of like Christian newsletters I get that too Yeah where they're like you gotta find Jesus And I can never find what I'm looking for Cause it's just an endless

Box of garbage that is impossible to stay on top of. Okay. Look, I have studies, motherfucker. According to a McKinsey analysis, the average professional spends 28% of their workday reading and answering email. Yeah, that's called working. How? But most, it's not an effective means of communicating. Oh, okay.

It would be better to just- Slack. Is that what you want everybody to use? Slack's a lot better. Oh, fuck off. I like Slack. Slack is a disaster. I can get an instant response. Or you can never get a response.

Well, if everyone's not on board with Slack. And you just have to remember who notified you in Slack If you happen to see it Like well great that's lost I sure hope they contact me about it again before it's due But it's better if it's like just one line And like an endless box full of them And you gotta archive them

And then you might archive the wrong one And you go oh shit should I delete this What if that guy comes back to me In 2017 a study found the average inbox has 199 unread emails. You got 200 messages waiting for you. Yeah. And you got to go through each one to try and figure out what's going on. Okay.

It's nonsense. The email should be used specifically for maybe sending attachments or something. Like having the files ready to go. How are you going to communicate with people then? Just send instant messages. Use the Slack. Send a phone call. Okay.

A phone call. A phone call. A phone call. I'll say this. Email could work. It's not that email can't work. And then what? Leave a voicemail if they don't pick up?

Is that your plan? Don't you ever do then what? Leave a voicemail if they don't pick up? Is that your plan? Don't you ever do that to me. No. No voicemails ever. They need to make email more streamlined. They need to find a way to organize it that it's easier to parse. People need to send less emails. Is this like an ad? Really need to be an email?

For an email organizer? Like an app that organizes your email? I would like to make an email organizer because it's a headache. It's a headache to try and figure out what's going on in your fucking email inbox. How many fucking emails do you get every day? Oh, I don't know. Like, a bunch, because they're all like- I don't even know, because there's so many emails.

I'll get like- That's the other thing, is like, companies sending me emails for things I don't need. Just unsubscribe. Like, when I order McDonald's, do I need an email congratulating me for ordering McDonald's? Oh, you're going to sit there and say that you don't want. I don't want. McDonald has done research on who wants those emails. And it's you.

They know for a fact. Do I need DreamHost to update me 12 times a month about which of my domains are expiring in six months? Click unsubscribe. It's right there. It doesn't matter how many times I click on subscribe. There's always more things to unsubscribe to or they'll resubscribe you to it when you're not looking. It's not fun. It's insane.

How many fucking emails there are. There should be a rule that you can set up your email inbox that says I refuse to accept any emails from the following of the following types. And you as a company should have to be like, well, we're sending out a coupon. And this guy has said, well, this is my business email.

You can't send me coupons. You can't send me receipts. This is only for people I know. Why don't you pay somebody to sort your emails out for you? The time or the money. To study the effects of email, a team led by researchers from the University of California Irvine hooked 40

office workers to wireless heart rate monitors for 12 days. It turned out that the longer one spends on email in a given hour, the higher their stress becomes. Emails are stressing people out. No, it's doing work. Doing work stresses people out

Cause you gotta make decisions and get chewed out And hopefully chew out other people Your heart rate should be at like a constant 190 At work The entire day There's no way to like flag an email as urgent Except typing urgent in like caps lock There is definitely a way to flag

Every email all of this shit exists You can personally flag your own emails But when they come in You don't know which ones need to be responded to when You don't know how to manage them The human brain is not wired To respond to this many inquiries What do you think we did before email?

You think business didn't get done? No we just did it at a more You just got mail all day And you had to sit there opening it And then you had a big fucking stack you had to actually do physical labor no you had this shit that you're complaining about doing with a click you had like one department head who would tell you your task and you would work on it you would collaborate with people you know and you would get it done you weren't just constantly barraged by like Tom over in accounting Being like did you use the right

Pink color for this logo And I was like that's not even your department They would come right up to you And you couldn't ignore it You couldn't just say like well I'll get to you later You don't know if you can ignore it You don't know if it's going to get escalated up the chain And email is an inefficient way to communicate

Because you never know Every time I read an email it seems like the guy's mad or impatient. There's no human element involved. No, you can piss people off so much in email. Like you just go, just respond to an email with, please advise. Yeah, but you have to put a stupid like smiley face or else your boss goes, that was rude, you're fired. In 2017, the French passed.

Yeah, thumbs up. Really, the only way to make yourself not seem like an asshole online is to use that fucking smiley face. In 2017, the French... I use the one that's like this. Like that one? I end all my work emails with that come face. The French passed a labor law requiring companies with 50 or more employees to negotiate specific policies about the use of email after work hours with the goal of reducing the time that workers spend in their inboxes over the

evening or over the weekend that's the other thing getting emails off work hours people think now because it's so easy to fire one off yeah they at like eight o'clock can remember some business you wouldn't do that before you wouldn't at eight o'clock call up a guy and be like hey by the way tomorrow do this fucking thing I mean I would What do you mean you wouldn't You gotta save that shit For business hours

You can't be emailing All hours of the day Call your dictaphone Call your dictaphone agency Say nah see I want you to sell All my IBM All I know is now

I exclusively Communicate through Like Twitter messenger And whatever else. You're so fucking frustrating. People like you who use an impermanent method of communicating are so fucking frustrating for everybody. Because everything else was just designed for ad hoc trash messaging that disappears on all devices the second you look at it. Your entire history on every other

on every other communication device can disappear when you get banned. Why do I need this history? I don't need all this. Because you will lose it. You're guaranteed to lose it when you get your next account banned. Email is right there. It can be sorted. It can be filtered. There's a permanent record of it.

But what? It's too stressful to you to have responsibilities? It's inefficient. It creates stress. This is not the right way for human beings to communicate with each other. Yeah. And they should find some common sense solutions to make navigating the inbox easier, more efficient, and less time consuming. Google tried that. You remember Buzz? Let's reimagine that. Buzz or Circles? the inbox easier more efficient and less time consuming google tried that you remember buzz

let's reimagine the circles called buzz long long time ago they put a bunch of their fucking know-it-all brainiacs to the task of reinventing email what was the one it was like happening that project what it got it fucking sucked it was retarded there was one they did wasn't it called like google circlescles or something? Yeah, that was another one. Also sucked. See, I had a buddy who's like a mathematician and he was like that was the greatest. That literally would have advanced the human race by a thousand

years. But people refused to learn how to use it. Yeah, whatever it was called. I don't know if it was called Circles. I'm fucking communicating so much. Ew, I'm getting mad. So you don't like AI it was called I'm fucking communicating so much I'm getting mad so you don't like AI art because it makes artistry easy

but email needs to be like what if an AI helped you with your email I want my email to be more human the same way I want AI art to be more human oh god I want to zoom call you I want to have a face to face you just want to suck up everyone's time I think that we

move too fast and i don't i i think it used to be you didn't need to produce this much shit you need to make so much crap but now it's just like an endless barrage of crap and email is definitely contributing to that you know email is great why it's like the opposite of like the work is my family, is my friend. Like the office work culture that the show The Office is so popular on. Like, oh, whose birthday? Hey, everybody, let's start the meeting by talking about whose birthday it is. It's like, well, let's talk about whose suicide date is. Mine.

Pow. If I have to go to another. No one can control your email but you. You, it's just you and your shitty email. You can say whatever you want. And the consensus of society, society can't affect you and pervert your message. I think there was a time when businesses could have been slightly like families. But labor laws have sadly really fucked that up.

Like Korean donut shops? The fact that every employee at any point, every employee is a liability rather than a friend. At any point, an employee can go, I'm going to sue you for some imagined labor slight. Yeah. Who did that? Everybody. I mean, who passed laws for that? Okay.

So that could happen. I don't know. Probably FDR. Oh. Who? Which president? You don't know which one. You just know which side. And some states are more or less friendly to businesses.

What's the state that you think is the least friendly to businesses? California. Yeah. Why is that? Because a bunch of leftist to businesses? California. Yeah, why is that? Because a bunch of leftist idiots keep implementing shit. No, I agree. One big thing I think about with business is, like, you got to get rid of, like, these huge sexual harassment lawsuits. Oh, yeah.

Sexually harass everyone. Within reason. You're fired if you don't blow me. No, that's not what I that's not In front of everyone In front of the second hottest girl here Okay that's a little Let's go It's a little unreasonable

Why it's not illegal You could quit You need There should be some You couldn't start your own company girl boss Suck my cock I mean the problem comes when you introduce the racial aspect you know Oh like if you're black and you're telling a white woman to suck your cock?

No, but like if you have a company and you go, oh, we just don't hire black people. Like. Who would say that? Companies would, I mean, not now, but. Like if you run a fried chicken restaurant. Period of time. Never mind. Jesus Christ.

The best part is you didn't even realize That's where your mind went You're like I'll just pick a random Example out And immediately your brain I was trying to think of the worst one And you didn't want them to eat All the right That's the worst example

And your brain was like I can think of way worse than that. Okay, fair enough. Anyway. Like if you ran a foreskin factory. Anyway. But I think you should be allowed to run a company that doesn't employ women, for instance. Oh, yeah.

I think that's... Like Uber? Does Uber not employ women? Oh, they shouldn't. Well, you want to avoid accidents on the road. Actually, well, I don't. My problem is email. I can't believe that you're a Slack supporter.

Of course you are. Yeah, Slack's pretty good. Slack is the fucking worst, man. Well, you can use it in conjunction with email. Like, emails are yes. If there's, like, an ongoing project, you don't want to lose access to certain things, sure. But I think you've got to use it in conjunction with Slack. Okay.

Like, Slack's good for, like, hey, check your email. That's true. I just sent you an email. That is pretty useful. Get on it. Check your email. It's got some stuff in there. I'm not saying to get rid of email entirely. I'll just put it this way. You don't remember what it was like before email. My problem you an email. That is pretty useful. Get on it. Check your email. It's got some stuff in there. I'm not saying to get rid of email entirely.

I'll just put it this way. You don't remember what it was like before email. My problem is not email. My problem is the inefficiency of email. There you go. It's not efficient. It's the same. Well, what's more efficient email?

It's another thing. Google Circles, which is gone. No, they got to figure out some solutions. What did that guy really say about Google Circles? I don't know. He just loved it. I would have to talk to him solutions. What did that guy really say about Google Circles? I don't know. He just loved it. I would have to talk to him again. It's just like Facebook.

I think he went to MIT. He's like a smart fucking guy. People are... Okay, yeah, let's nag the MIT guys. It's hard to get in that way. I mean, what have they... Yeah, it's hard to get in. You're right.

It is very hard to get in. Yeah. So what did they... Especially if you're Asian. They go, we got too many of you motherfuckers. Oh, that's okay to say? Well, it's true. That's what's going on. That's pro-Asian

because that's the problem with all these... Have you seen at Harvard they won't let certain Asians in because they think they have too many? I'm on Nick Fuentes' Telegram channel, so if there's something race-related, I've heard about it. You could be sure of that. Whatever it was, I heard of it.

You're on Nick Fuentes' Telegram channel. Jesus Christ. Does Mr. Girl really think that Nick Fuentes is responsible for his channel getting deleted? Yes. But it's mostly this one Nick Fuentes follower who's on Cozy who told his audience to go. I mean, YouTube's also responsible because YouTube banned him for a video that they should not have banned him for. What'd they ban him for?

He had a video that was, like, about, like, sex in movies or something. And they said, like, oh, that violates our pornography, like, thing. But he didn't, like, show anything from the movies. Oh, yeah, it was a chick blowing a chicken wing, right? Yeah, I was telling you, there's some movie where a chick, like,owing a chicken wing Right Yeah I was telling you There's some movie

Where a chick like Eats a chicken wing Out of a guy's pants And he thinks They mistook it For like an actual Scene of a blowjob You're supposed to do that

Right I mean I think It's supposed to be A joke in the movie But when it's out of context But the joke is That you think She's blowing a cock

Right But like YouTube can't make that Even though it's from a movie That they rent On their own platform So it's okay Well movie that they rent on their own platform. So it's okay. Yeah, but if I rent the movie, then I'm knowing that I'm going to look at the cock.

You're not looking at a cock though. You're looking at a chicken wing. It's some, I don't know. But what if I just am not like confused and I happen to look at it? Regardless, if anyone in our audience knows anyone at YouTube who can listen to Common Sense and Reason, please let us know. But there's no... Because we're trying to get Mr. Girl unbanned.

There's no way he would be... He is... He cannot be on... Like, even if that... Even if it gets unbanned, he's constantly doing shit that they would not want on their platform. Well, not really. What has he done recently?

Just him. Like, him in general and his style of content YouTube would not like in a business Even Crowder on there Like he's doing stuff that YouTube doesn't want Because he's like an unfunny Like nothing like Stephen Does like stunts that like definitely Negatively make make

YouTube look negative for having him on there And have made like huge press But he challenges like that time he like You know tested how long you'd have someone kneel on your neck for George Floyd. That was like in the press worldwide. And everybody said, oh, YouTube sucks. And they allow these Nazis on there.

Mr. Girl has not made like huge negative press for YouTube. But Stephen Crowder is like... A moneymaker. Well, he's just like part of the machine. Like all of his Like All of Him existing In a way that

Defines Yeah Like To be clear I'm not saying to ban Steven Crowder And just I mean who cares

I'm just saying What he does is Equally Offensive and controversial Than anything Mr. Girl And they think No Steven Crowder Is totally empty calories

He's retarded He's like Like if The more kids that grow up Like Stephen Crowder The worse off The dissidents are On the right and the left

Like he's a He's a moron And all of his All of his content Makes you dumber Yeah Having watched it Mr. Girl's the opposite

Like no one No platform would benefit from From a guy who's like Having interesting discussions And inviting experts on To talk about stuff Yeah Did you see he brought on

A World War II Like professor To talk about Like the rise of Hitler Oh really Yeah but the guy Did not really understand Like what he was getting into

So at one point Mr. Girl was just like Listen here motherfucker Like I was like Did you just call me A motherfucker And he's like Oh it's like a colloquial term

We use online You know Like I didn't really mean it As you're a motherfucker And he's like I want you to apologize And Mr. Girl goes I'm not gonna apologize

Yeah but he said it like No Yeah No Which is funny I'm not gonna apologize Like I'm not saying He's always the most

Tactful individual But Yeah he's great I am a lover I am upset that he's banned Everyone go To his new website Mrgirl.tv

Yeah And create an account Oh he has accounts Yeah he's got accounts He's got a chat system He can talk Whatever Nobody that I like

Is allowed on YouTube Yeah That's like my I don't know Well we'll see if Rumble becomes the new thing. Oh, fuck Rumble. They wouldn't let me have the dick show as my channel name. I saw that.

Well, did you actually find a way to contact him about it? It's not my problem. Fuck Rumble. I'll go on Odyssey. I don't give a fuck. I mean, I don't think they did it specifically to spite you. They're stupid and they engineered it and think through a word filter. Fucking fix it. Well, you got my fucking think through a word filter? Fucking fix it.

Well, you gotta tell them to fix it. I'm not customer service of Rumble. I wouldn't write off Rumble yet. I see promise in Rumble. Why are they on the NASDAQ then? Because they're fucking, I don't know, weirdos trying to make money. If anything, them being on the NASDAQ is good.

Oh, it's good to tie your stock to ESG and public sentiment when you support free speech? I don't think so. Okay, anyway. It's equal to YouTube. It's what YouTube does. What, Rumble? You believe in the blockchain too much. Okay.

My problem is, are you ready for this one? Yes. Anti-Semitism. I'm walking off the show. I'm done. What is bigger than? I'm done. I'm done.

Don't, don't, don't. Do you know what it is even? You're saying it's the belief? Do I know what anti-Semitism is? Well, a lot of people don't. Okay, what is anti-Semitism? It's the belief or behavior hostile towards Jews. Why'd you smirk

off your face? I'm smiling because you are so ignorant! Because you're ignorant. I'm Jewish. I can say I can talk about this. Yeah, my mom's mom's mom's mom's mom was Jewish. So I can, from Ukraine actually, so I can talk about this. Yeah, my mom's mom's mom's mom's mom was Jewish. So I can, from Ukraine, actually. So I can talk about the Ukraine war too.

Hostile towards Jews because they are Jewish. Right. May take the form of religious teachings that proclaim the inferiority of Jews. Also, if you claim that they're too superior, that can also be anti-Semitism. If you claim they're too superior Like saying they're Really good at stuff Yeah

They're so good In fact that If you fill in that blank That's anti-Semitism For instance Or political effort I feel like this is the Like the

In the Behind the video You know Or what do you call it Behind the music Yeah Like this is the like At the height of their popularity

It all took a turn My problem is anti-semitism Cause here's the thing about the Jews No Okay It's the biggest problem Okay Do

Go go ahead I got my last episode deleted Oh I'm sure you did I don't know. I was trying to speak out. That's the worst part about antisemitism. If you're not speaking out correctly, then you're doing an antisemitism. Can you believe that?

The rules aren't fair, sure. I'll give you that. I don't even know. Maybe they are. They're probably fair. Have there been any recent antisemitic incidents that have you worried? I mean, they're just all over the the place they're happening all the time i hate you so much i have here okay yeah wait a minute anti-semitism i'm still reading the definition and actually this i think this definition i found another definition that

doesn't even mean this oh my god uh anti-, antisemitism impacts millions of Jews and people of all backgrounds in the U S and around the globe. So antisemitism can hurt even non Jews. I guess everyone. Yeah. Well, I tearing the fabric of societies. Yeah.

Wherever it spreads. So if you have a fabric of societies. Yeah. Wherever it spreads. So if you have a fabric of society... You don't want that getting torn. It applies to you. Yeah, you want that fabric to... ADL is the world's leading expert on antisemitism. Oh, for the love of God. That's where I got this.

And is on the front lines, shining a light on all forms of antisemitism. Oh, wait, that's just an ad for adl oh maybe i should read that um okay so what what are the juice okay here's how big of a problem it is so don't fucking laugh at this i'm not 1.09 billion people in the world i would have rounded that up to 1.1 or just leave it 1. People in the world harbor antisemitic attitudes. Wow. How did they

measure that? Well, they did. What is that based on? Did they just take 100 people ask them how many hate the Jews and then multiply? Survey says! Survey says! Give me another word. David Duke like Family Feud Okay

Alright Let's talk about food Name another word for Jew Tiny hat No, no, no Survey says Survey says Yeah

Some worse ones 2014 survey of attitudes toward Jews In over 100 countries around the world. Oh, yeah, that's where I got this. So let's see. Do you want to guess the most, the religion with the most anti-Semitism? I'll give you three guesses. Do I want to guess the religion with the most anti-Semitism? I got this from the ADL, so I'm just reading you stats that I got from the ADL.

Well, I mean, my first guess would be Muslim. That's correct. Thank you. So, antisemitism also causes Islamophobia is what I'm seeing. Because now I'm a gay. That's a stereotype. That's a stereotype. Because only. It's not a stereotype That's a stereotype Because only

It's not a stereotype It's correct According to the study Because only 49% of Muslims Were found to be anti-Semitic I didn't say all Muslims Were anti-Semitic Yeah but it's not

I said if I had to pick a religion Which would be Harvard the most anti-Semitic Less than half though So it's not You didn't ask me Which one has less than half

You said which one has the most And I said Muslim And that's not Islamoph You didn't ask me which one has less than half. You said which one has the most, and I said Muslim, and that's not Islamophobic. Okay. Christian rocks in at 24%. Yeah, what would be following that? Catholic? Atheists.

Wow, they don't even believe in nothing, but they believe in being anti-Semitic. That's crazy. Interesting. Do you want to see the survey? Wait, they really ranked atheists as a religion that hates muslims that's not fair it's not a religion muslims jews jews yeah yeah they combine them the religion they come none and atheists is the same religion buddhists 17 wow even the buddhists are anti-semit Telling you it's a big problem And

I agree Don't vote to be funny Vote correctly It affects 1 billion people You can get your account banned Like it's nothing Yeah And it's only going up

Yeah Why is it going up? Is anyone contributing to that perhaps? Because fucking Trump Trump Well Trump Actually Trump likes the Jews, doesn't he? Too much.

Too much, and that's also a negativity. That's what's causing the, that's what's causing a lot of the reaction. Is Dr. Oz Jewish? I don't think he is. I don't know. Trump likes that guy. I don't even think I could read these questions. That's what the ADL has.

I'm pretty sure you can read something that's on the ADL site. Yeah, but what if I read it wrong? Go with your heart, Dick. If I read it wrong... Then we'd lose the show, which is why I didn't want you to bring up this problem to begin with, you motherfucker. It's a big problem, though! It is a big problem. It's a big problem!

I agree. Well, I saw on the news a certain African-American gentleman was going at them, and I thought that was unreasonable. Who? I believe he calls himself Ye. Oh, Kanye? Well, Ye. Ye?

Is that how you pronounce that? Not Ye? Kanye? Wouldn't it be Kanye becomes Ye? He got rid of the con. There's no con left in his Ye. He said he was going to go Death con

Death con Yeah well like Three Three Do you think he picked death con three Because he didn't know If you go lower It's worse

Or higher it's worse I think that Yeah he just picked one in the middle I think he knew that it was That it was one through five Yeah He knew He knew that it was not

The way you think And he couldn't remember If it was lower is worse Or higher is worse So he just went in the middle Yeah Well maybe he just Otherwise you'd have put like

Deathcon Deathcon zero Well first of all Deathcon Is not a real thing So I don't know what the fuck He was trying to communicate So he even knows

Who even knows Why did he put it as Deathcon Instead of Deathcon Was that like An autocorrect Or is he like a weird Weirdo

Who knows What do you know Do you have a theory Well You're saying he's trying to you know Wish death perhaps No I'm saying Do you could you imagine

A black person saying teeth? Okay. Well, now this whole show is the whole fucking thing. Can you imagine a black person saying teeth? Yeah, I'm sure it would be fine. Here's the question and then. Oh, God. Here's the question and then I'm done.

Here's a question and then I'm done Jews are more loyal to Israel Than to this country To the countries they live in That was a question on this anti-Semitism survey You're saying are they yes or no Is that a yes or no question I don't think they're more loyal to Israel Most Jews I know don't really care about Israel

Correct Do you want to take this I know all the Jewish questions. Jews have too much power in the business world. Yes. Shit! Fuck! No! Oh! No! That's the biggest one!

How did I fuck that up? That's obvious. Jews still talk too much about what happened to them in the Holocaust. What kind of question is that? How is that a yes or a no? Are they even alive still? Isn't that a matter of opinion?

Yeah, well that's the other thing Oh, I guess you could be You can be a descendant And still be talking about the Holocaust Yes or no? Well, I think that's a matter of opinion That's a no It's not like a yes or no question

You better be careful But I'm saying you can't put that as Jews don't care what happens to anyone But their own kind I'm going to say no No 33% of people said yes Actually that is kind of

That's pretty anti-semitic That's very anti-semitic That's very anti-semitic Just in Jews only care about Jews Jews have too much control Over global affairs Okay well Not too much control They have the right

Amount of control That's exactly right Okay that's my problem What a problem dick what a problem well speaking of the jews wait no that's a terrible segue hollywood is uh undergoing a number of changes okay one of those big changes being led by a name named a man named david zazlav zazlav a Jewish name? I don't know.

Sounds Greek. I don't think any. There's no similarities in names. Well, I don't know what he is or what he does. But what I do know is that he's come into the Warner Brothers organization, which recently had a merger with Discovery to become a giant entertainment conglomerate. And he's cutting things across the board. Okay. We saw about two months ago, I think it was,

the Batgirl movie got canceled. Yeah. Fuck that movie. Well, not just canceled, but written off for tax purposes, which means there's no chance of ever recovering it, because once it's written off... Wait, what? So he's writing things off for taxes right on the tax

docket no what do you mean okay so when warner brothers merged with discovery it created a huge hole in their balance sheet like they it looks like a huge amount of debt right okay so because stockholders hate debt he's doing whatever he can to try and make them look financially profitable before the end of the year So he's not spending the marketing money on it? Yeah, well, rather than finish the movie Which could result in greater profits if it was popular Probably not, though Maybe not, who knows

Instead, he's writing it off on the taxes But because if you take it as a write-off That means you can never revitalize it later he's writing it off on the taxes but because if you take it as a write-off that means like you can never revitalize it later and be like oh no we decided to put it out or like do direct to dvd or whatever like literally they legally can't be true that's how taxes work in hollywood if you if you do a tax write-off of of a project without releasing it uh then release it and make profits off it because then you released it It's no longer right off At that point

Well you I mean okay I don't want to argue about I don't know how I honestly don't know how Taxes work in Hollywood And I'm sure they're fucked Well that's what's been going on

With like A lot of these shows That they've had in their back And all the shows That are already finished Yeah I don't know if you ever saw The cartoon Final Space

Which was okay Yeah Tim and Eric had a TV show called beef house that was like a fake sitcom that was pretty funny okay but that stuff has also been written off so in the same way it can never be released again on dvd it can never be put on a streaming service why would why would it being a write-off have to do with not being on a dvd because as a write-off you're saying we're completely uh divesting ourselves of this property it's a complete financial loss for us yeah okay so i have the raw materials right but then if you bring it back every dollar you make off it would

then be the tax write-off you took let's say you took to not do you have got to refile and like all right well we're pushing that one forward now we we are. I mean, first of all, you can write off everything that you spend making your product. You can write it off. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. Maybe I don't know how Hollywood works. Maybe there's a limit on writing off the production costs. OK, there's other aspects of the show.

Like the the the property itself has value. Right. Like the OK, you know, it's an asset. So you're writing off an asset. But you can't say, I threw out my computer, so I'm going to claim a $2,000, you know, deduction and then pull that computer out of the trash and start using it again. Well, you have to write it off when you buy it. You have to write it off over like five, when you buy it, you have to extend that.

Depreciate it across multiple years. But I don't know how Hollywood works. It's a complicated situation. As far as I understand. They're doing it for taxes? As far as I understand, these things are it for taxes? As far as I understand, these things are being written off, which means they can never exist

in any other form. Like the only way to get it will be to bootleg it. Oh, really? Yeah. That's why this is such a shitty, stupid situation. Okay.

And my problem is the corporate apologists who go, well, they gotta make money. They gotta make money They gotta make money This is an insane situation So I've been reporting on this or trying to On my channel yesterday they reported

That Cartoon Network they're firing 85 people they're gonna close the Cartoon Network building and force them all into The Warner Brothers animation building Completely destroying their independent corporate culture And the thing that gave birth to Adult Swim An entire generation of don't fucking talk shit about Adult Swim and it's higher. I just don't know that Cartoon Network caused it.

That was like the end of the 90s. It helped a lot. It gave a venue to a lot of alternative comedy and built a lot of what you have now motherfucker. And there's people going. Yeah, but that's good. It's good that this evil conglomerate Had a very expensive merger Yeah now for

Not let's be clear people are telling me Well you know it doesn't make it's losing Money they're not the Cartoon Network is not losing Money this is these Are not unprofitable ventures same for like Batwoman Batwoman had not lost Money yet technically like you could Say I only lost money Okay but then shows like, you could say... Well, they only lost money.

Okay, but then shows like, again, Final Space or Beef House or like these other shows that have been canceled, there was another big one I can't remember. Those aren't losing money, they just exist in the Bat catalog. But rather than put them on streaming and slowly make money from them over time, as they would, you know, by licensing them out or getting subscribers, they just want to lump some write-off by removing them from history where is it where can i read about this i just i just find it very hard to believe that like saying oh yeah it's a write-off means they can't put it

anywhere they can't it's it's they can't sell it to anyone else it's just a weird thing to do. Yes, it's weird. They're only doing it because of this giant balance sheet hole and because David Zaslav wants to go, no, look, see, I cut all the fat. We're profitable. Don't worry about it. And there's people who are like now are clapping and they're going, yeah, that's how you get it done. That's a real businessman. That's a problem.

I do hate people who are like applauding. They trip over themselves to applaud corporations for making money. They have to themselves to applaud corporations for making money. Like, well, you know, they have to do the, they have to do the right thing for their shareholders.

Like, what do you, what do you like? Are you a shareholder? Yeah. Are you making money from this? Do you benefit from this? Alex P.

Keaton, are you in the young Republicans club here that you're just clamoring for like more shareholder focused businesses? You have like the creators of these shows going, the third season of my show was never released on DVD. It is being removed from distribution forever. It's something I spent my entire life working on is being voided into the ether.

People are going, yeah, but you know what? They got to make some bucks, bro. And I'm like, why are you siding? It's got to support the shareholders, okay? They gotta make some bucks, bro And I'm like, why are you siding? Gotta support the shareholders, okay? You gotta make sure everyone who owns Warner Brothers stock feels good that year Even though that's not how stock prices work It's just basically when the Fed pumps, interest rates low

And then pulls them back That's how it goes But, you know If you're an individual and not, like, with If you don't work for Warner Brothers You have no impetus to cheer for them trampling on creatives and destroying their work yeah for the mere uh purpose of fixing a balance sheet you don't have to be a cheerleader for them and you shouldn't you should go you know what

weird it is weird and you should go you know what I actually care more about art and stories being created than I do about whether or not a company makes a couple extra billion dollars for the guys at the top. Like, you don't need to think that way. You're not required to say, well, I just want to make sure corporations make as much money as possible. That's really all i care about it's like um i think that it's like women with celebrities yeah right like well you know he had you know he had to do that right the justification yeah the justification it's like it's like a person learned like the concept of a corporation which is like a legal Entity like a legal entity person So they have to like

Say that they are aware of that All the time they have to signal to like Other retards that they're aware Of that all the time Like a corporation does Something shitty like oh bro bro bro But like it has to do They want to feel smart

Where they can go no this bad thing that happened? It's actually, you know, totally reasonable. Yeah, good thing, good thing. It is objectively a bad thing that has happened. Just because it might make some other people more money, the net good it creates in the world, it creates net negative. Yeah. Like, for the majority of people, we're just losing it like a lot of

literally probably millions of people are losing access to his shows and movies that they loved or you know the creatives worked out well hopefully but some of this stuff there was never like you know some people didn't even create copies of it we don't know if they have hd copies but yes this is a huge benefit Like right now Warner Brothers doing this is basically saying You need to pirate everything forever From now on Yeah Don't buy any digital

People who bought digital versions of the shows On like Amazon Yeah They had those removed From their Amazon accounts Because the shows no longer are allowed to exist Stop doing that stuff Pirate everything

Well I didn't say that. Well, don't pirate this show, but pirate everything else that isn't created by... That's illegal. That's illegal. I'm not saying you need that. It's not illegal. It's anti-Semitic.

It's not anti... Well, it is anti-Semitic. Regardless, stop thinking that it is your job to somehow vouch for the right of a company. Well, they had to take the fucking pensions away from the hostess workers. They couldn't possibly pay them what they promised them. They had to defend shareholders. That guy at the top deserves a $25 billion bonus for shuttering the plant and killing off all the workers.

He deserves it. off all the workers like he deserves it why do you a guy who makes eight dollars an hour at the wawa feel like it's your job to pretend you're a corporate executive because i just did what was right for me it's because this country is full of temporarily embarrassed millionaires who said that i don't know uh maybe maybe menken that. It's everyone in this country. They are all stupid. And they think that it's like a stroke of luck or chance that it prevented them from becoming. Who's the guy that you said? The next Bill Gates or David Zaslav.

Me and that guy, we're basically saying we both understand shareholders obliging you to being on the side of your shareholders. So I just want to say that so that you understand that me and that guy are basically the same. Yeah. I'm temporarily embarrassed over here, but I could pretty much I could step into anybody's shoes. I mean, that's how Donald Trump got elected president. It was a bunch of dummies went

well, that's me up there. Yeah, but they're not that funny. They're not nearly as funny Only Trump is that funny Only Trump is that All of his policies Only Rosie O'Donnell All of his policies

Were amazing People don't understand them Because they're too stupid Yeah But it was His rapist wit Yeah That got him

The White House Twice And it will get him a third time Third time Jesus Christ Uh Guys Stop simping for corporations Stop pretending And we'll get them a third time. Third time. Jesus Christ. Guys, stop simping for corporations. Stop pretending that you have anything in common with these billionaires and that you need to support their constant quest for more money.

Why not? If you really care about creativity and artists making stuff, as you should, it should be of more. Why? Fuck them. If they're going to create, they'll do it anyway. Well, you need money to create stuff under this capitalist society. It doesn be of more. Fuck them. If they're going to create, they'll do it anyway. Well, you need money to create stuff under this capitalist society. I'm not making anything good. I'm not making a Marvel movie in your backyard.

Plenty of good. All the best like works were written by people who had other jobs, you know? Well, most of our great works were famously written by rich people for the longest time. Yes. Well,

cause they didn't have to worry about working. But now. Yes. Only rich people should be. No. Only rich people. Should be allowed to create art. Already have jobs and should be allowed to create art.

Right? Yeah. Yeah. That's what they want. Otherwise, you have boogie. That's why we had to crash that crypto coin to keep him poor. Otherwise, I rug pulled that one. I'm going to call this problem corporate boot lickers, Dick.

Corporate boot lickers. Stop licking David Zaslav's boot. I'm sick of it. And stop telling me also that like, well, that's their problem for going woke. They deserve to go broke. That has nothing to do with his decisions to cancel these shows. He's not canceling them. I want to go woke just for fun.

Because they have gay people. Yeah. I'm going to, you know fun Yeah I'm gonna You know Well I was gonna Wear blackface But I guess that's Anti-woke I'm the gayest asshole

Of the whole fucking world Everything's woke Everything's a joke If I have to see Another Like screenshot Of a stock price That's fallen like

Oh my god Three percent Three percent When Microsoft's down Like ten% guys our campaigns go woke go broke I'm like oh god I wish God would have a second flood Our PayPal accounts clearly caused this yeah exactly Boycott of the week voted up that one's a good problem Boycotting PayPal yeah good luck You're boycotting the. Yeah. Good luck.

You're boycotting the IMF? Because I am. Yeah, you actually are. You? I don't think so. I don't think you're really doing that. No, there's not enough of you idiots. Okay, what was my last problem? Your first, what was my last problem?

Well, you already messed up my second problem. No, anti-Semitism. A billion people are affected by this did i screw up your second problem is my first problem it's my problem now um a billion people a billion people what other on our list is effect affects a billion people your other problem should be what jewish people no get them both in one episode. I mean, do you honestly, do you know how bad the world would be without Jewish people? It'd be pretty bad. It would be fucking horrible.

If without Jewish people, the world would be run by a, it would be, we would, you would wake up and pray six times to the nearest fucking cross. Our comedy would not be good. the nearest fucking cross. Our comedy would not be good. It would be warring prayer bells, like the Muslim prayer, and then Christian acoustic guitars hammering you at all sides and drilling you into the fucking ground.

That's what Jewish people saved us from. A war between Christians and Muslims. Two people that I fucking hate. Please, fucking God, Thank please fucking God. Take whatever you want. Yeah. Take whatever you want from me from saving me from that. I will happily submit,

even though I know that's just a joke because it's not true. That is the best thing about the Jewish religion is that it is probably the least obnoxious religion. It's just about like good ideas. Yeah. Like don't eat that shellfish and the dead shellfish you'll probably get poisoned okay yeah one one jewish guy ate like a bad lobster and he's like listen i don't know if they're all bad but let's just say god doesn't want us to eat them yeah

it's all the parts of the bible that aren't like that aren't used by uh annoying pretentious self-righteous fucks that repeated back to you? Yeah. Like, oh, you know what Jesus says? Like, no, save it. I bet it was something that Russell Brand has also said in a different way. Right. Thanks a lot. Go fuck yourself. Abraham had all the right ideas. If you're so smart, why are you crucified?

It's true. Well, I don't know. I mean, apparently that was his plan. I don't know. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. It was God's plan. His plan was to lose all of his fucking money. Oh, right. I don't know. I mean, apparently that was his plan. I don't know. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. It was God's plan. His plan was to lose all of his fucking money. Oh, right. I don't know how many.

Poor Boogie. You're going to be okay, buddy. Why doesn't he just drive DoorDash? Everybody drives DoorDash. I want to drive DoorDash. Yeah, that's a benefit. If I drove DoorDash, my God, I'd have a mozzarella stick every hour. If I drove DoorDash, my God, I'd have a mozzarella stick every hour.

My problem is putting the NP on your phone. When you say no problem, NP, and it auto-corrects to no. I hate the auto-correct. I haven't figured out how to turn off the swear filter autocorrect on my phone. I figured it out, but then it overdid it. Yeah, I think I got a new phone and I got to figure out how to get it in there. It automatically asterisks my swear words. That's kind of cool, though.

You should just make it autocorrect. The autocorrect is terrible on these phones. I should make it autocorrect? Yeah. Okay. I think that's a good problem. But I mean, specifically, like, when np no problem yeah it says no i'm like well i don't ever put no problem why not i don't know i've never that phrase never entered my texting vocabulary what do you say to people yeah like i'm gonna be 10 minutes late i go okay. Okay is like maybe you're upset by it.

Okay is not letting them. I'm trying to think of a situation I would say no problem in. Vito, I'm running 10 minutes late to the. I guess I could see myself saying no problem, but I would just maybe I have texted no problem. Vito, I have to reschedule.

I don't shorten it to NP. I would actually just type in no problem. Well, then you're wasting all this time. I know. It's like email again. Yeah, then you're basically writing an email. It is the same problem. Okay. I think yeah. No P.

NP. NP autocorrect. NP autocorrect. NO autocorrect. Isn't there a way to tell it like You can add NP to your dictionary though Maybe you can type in NP and then does do you have an iPhone or do you have a I don't know I have this that looks like an iPhone. I got this the church gave this to me Sure, it's a freedom phone. It's a freedom phone is it from China?

My phone when I when I type in a phrase It's a freedom phone Is it from China? My phone When I type in a phrase There's like a little check box Like a check mark And I can hit that No mine just says

NPC And a smiley face going Wink NPC A wink Yeah just send a wink That's not helpful I'm gonna be 10 minutes late

Yeah Wink Alright NP autocorrects The biggest one Yeah NP autocorrects. The biggest one. Yeah. NP autocorrects. Nailed it.

Okay. You got some voicemails for me, Dick? Yeah. I think we got some good ones. Oops. I think we got some good ones. Okay. Do super chats.

And if you have six bucks, go to patreon.com slash biggest problem to put us over six grand. We're so close to six grand. It's $6,000 a month more than Boogie has. Yeah. You'll notice I didn't make a stinger this week because the get us over 6k stinger rule is still in effect. At which point we have to figure out what we're going to do with the stingers.

I do have one stinger for today though and it is I want 6K. Okay. Give me 6K. Was that going to be it? That was going to be it, but I didn't do it. But you didn't do it?

Yeah, because I don't give a shit. I did my taxes yesterday. Taxes, that's a big problem, but it's not an interesting one. Oh, you should have brought that in. There's so many different types, though. It's too big a problem But you vote for it Shut the fuck up with this you vote for it

What did I vote for with my taxes Do you think there should be any taxes Yes Like how much of your income Should you have to pay in taxes every year 10% Okay I would be okay with that What is it now like 18 is every year. 10%. Okay. That's pretty fair.

I would be okay. Yeah, I would be okay with that. What is it now? Like 18? No. Like 30 or 40. If you're above a certain bracket. Well, counting like,

if you count like gas tax. Social security and all those taxes and shit. If you count every single tax that you pay. Yeah. You are probably paying 50 or 60% in taxes. I'm okay with the idea that if you live in a country and you're by nature benefiting from the roads and the cops and the whatever else i mean obviously

those all suck but in an ideal world shut the fuck up look the cops was the first i mean they're doing something They're not doing a lot. Yeah, they're killing black people. All right, they're paying for the jails. That's good. Got to put somebody in there. I'm starting to become one of these guys who I go, you know what? I do think we should build more jails.

Because I'm just, the more people I meet, I'll meet just like people who are just stupid. And I go, just put that guy in jail. Just put that fucker in jail. I saw cubes. 10 weeks. Yeah, exactly. He's a fucking idiot. Everybody I argue with on Twitter, put him in jail. So you benefit from, LA famously has great roads and police.

Yeah, I benefit a lot from that. My neighborhood is nice, though. Okay. There's some sort of street fair going on I just missed. Maybe I'll hit it on the way back. Okay, here we go. Community event. You know, they're trying.

Circumcision is the biggest problem in the universe. This is coming from a guy who had the circumcision fail. Okay, pause this real quick. Who had the circumcision fail Okay pause this real quick Is this the guy Who texted my phone To tell me Your entire botched circumcision story

That I did not respond to your text Because I don't know why would he have your phone number I don't know I don't remember Maybe he's like a fan I met to like get lunch at some point You gave him your phone number But if you feel like you want to text me your long story about

I'm going to check my text right now. So an email would be better, you think? An email might be better. A private message. Send it to me on Twitter. Don't. We don't. I'm going to play it while you look for it. I love our fans, but we do not have a relationship where you should be texting my phone to tell me about your circumcision.

Why'd you give him your phone number then? If you give someone your phone number, you want them to use it. Here, I'll get his text. Circumcision is a huge problem. The doctor that did mine fucked up and the skin grew to my head and I had to go get it cut off. Mine was so bad I had to go under, but this shit happens so much that they just

do local anesthetic and chop it off. Okay, that's a great story. Don't send it to my phone. Like, that's like an intimate place for, like, people I interact with. It's weird to get a text out of nowhere about your botched circumcision. I love you. I really do.

I just was really like, is this fucker really texting me about his dick skin getting chopped off? Second of all, is that the relationship we have? I love when people tell stories that happened to them when they were like a baby. Yeah. Like that they're living,

that they lived through it. Oh yeah, it happened to me. Like you're a fucking baby. Yeah. It doesn't matter. I think my parasocial relationships are getting a little too intimate where they're going,

I'll text my dad about my botched circumcision. I'll text big brother Vito. Send it in a voicemail this is better make it do it for the show i don't know if the same guy maybe this is a different guy i don't know let's see maybe this is coming from a guy who had the circumcision fail because it reconnected to the head of the penis and basically what ends up happening is that as you get older it can actually hook and break your cock in half So what ended up happening is that I had to go through a second circumcision

where the skin that re-grew had to be completely fucking eliminated and regrown and it apparently is so much of an issue that it is typically done with just a localized anesthetic but mine was so fucking bad that they had to put me under i had to go under go like this is the same guy to cut off half of my penis because of it you cut off half of your penis oh my god well this was uh i'm glad that he texted me didn't get a response and say well i'll send a voicemail. That was the correct way to do it, was to voicemail it. Oh, my God.

Did they really say cut off half his dick? That can't be. That's what he said. It could be a prank, though. Who knows? I had to go under. They do local anesthetic and cut it off. Well, he cut off all the extra skin.

Okay, here you go. Don't text me that. Do a voicemail. Better. in. Okay, here you go. Don't text me that. Do a voicemail. Better. My biggest problem right now is the fact that Vito and Dick have

the same laugh. No, we don't. Alright, Vito, learn to laugh like your fucking balls drop. Alright, I'm tired of something happening. Someone's saying something and I'm laughing along just to hear Dick start talking and realize I'm validating Vito by laughing along with him. There you go.

He's angry that he's laughing with you. You're only laughing with me. Thank you. We don't laugh like each other at all. I have a very distinctive laugh. Let's both laugh on the count of three. Okay. I didn't wait for the count Okay, first, you laugh

Okay One, two, three That was supposed to be don't do it Oh Okay I'm an idiot Here you go Hey, Rito, you asshole

I've been telling people to try and listen to the show But you know it's a kind of a long fucking show so no one's gonna load that up and commit any time to it Why don't you make some fucking clips on YouTube? The funny jokes you guys make so that I can send those bite-sized clips that people can take in and then they'll be interested Okay, fair enough No No Fuck you If You have friends And they're refusing you

Yeah That's not how it works You follow up Did you listen to it What was your favorite part You're really You have to learn how to Don't turn

Our show into Don't turn your Failure at selling this show Into our problem You go out and say What do you like What's the biggest problem for you? Oh, that's interesting.

Those guys were talking about this. You would love this show. What do you think? Did you listen to it yet? That is a great segue. If somebody brings up a problem, you go, you know, there's a whole podcast they have. They talk about that. Yeah.

You should listen to this episode. It's not our fucking fault that you can't sell. Okay, regard. What kind of watch do you have? What did you drive here in? What did you drive on your voicemail? Sell me this pen, cocksucker. Here's what I'm going to say is, yeah, clips are great.

The problem is I can't re-listen to the show constantly. But what's great is when people leave comments that say this would be a good clip. So if you ever are listening and you go, hey, please clip this part. For instance, I'm going to go back and clip you talking about eyepatch McCain. Yeah. Whatever. I know I have to do that I also just put up a clip from the fast food Episode so I am pulling clips We're making six grand a month we could

Afford somebody who wants to clip for free If they're a fan and they want to cut their teeth In the industry and talk to some Industry guys Why do they say that who cuts their teeth Baby That's when your teeth come out They call it cutting Industry guys and why do they say that who cuts their teeth baby? You cut that's when your teeth come out. They call it guns. Yeah cut your teeth

You don't cut a baby's teeth. I mean, I don't know. It's raining cats and dogs. What are you gonna tell you? That makes sense to me Yeah, so let us know in the comment If you ever have a good idea for a clip tell me and I will clip it I could clip entire like segments but I'm like just listen to the episode of the whole show just like clip it a little bit shorter minutes give me ideas for clips I never know what to clip is the problem okay here we go the audience would

know better hey Vito fucking retard I'm listening to episode six where you're talking about presidential gas gripers and you're saying dumb shit like by the end of the year and through 2022

it's projected that the price of gas will go back down to $2.74. Hey, fucking idiot. It's still over $4 a fucking gallon. Don't point at me. Don't point at me like that. How fucking stupid are you?

The point was not that we can accurately predict the price of gas. The point was that the president is not the only one responsible. And Biden's doing a lot to bring the price down. He's tapped into the national. You know what? So he is bringing it down? Look, I'm not saying. Why did he ask Saudi Arabia to not?

Because they have the control, not him. So that is a point in my favor. But they didn't do that to Trump, though. They would have probably done the same thing to Trump. You don't know. I wouldn't fuck with Trump. Trump will nuke your ass. No, my God.

He won't fucking nuke anybody. The mere fact that we're admitting that Saudi Arabia is controlling the prices is a point in my favor. Yes, all of them. Russia too. Russia has a big part to do with it. Yeah, but so don't you want like a strong man to be in there negotiating with these

fucking... Yeah, that's why I voted for Biden. The strongest man on earth. He's faced it all. Biden's like the ISOM of presidents. He looked down the super predators of 1993 and he said, we're not going to take it anymore. Biden probably doesn't even know where Jerusalem is. I'm sure he knows where Jerusalem is.

I doubt it. I doubt it. I don't think he's an anti-Semite. I've been to the Wailing Wall. Have you? You know what's the best part about it? The Wailing? No. Oh, the wall also no

which part they separate they don't let women on the men's part and they don't let men on the women's part interesting they separate it yeah so women have to go into their side and like write book reports and stuff and then the men go into this side Party And they're partying Fucking big time Nice They all go into this cave Take their clothes off Sick

Yeah I don't want to do that And have a Shiva I've never been to Jerusalem I'd love to go My ancestral homeland According to some people It's a shithole

It's like a swap meet Yeah They're just selling crosses And crap Yeah that would make sense They have a bunch of hot cops though Ooh Hot lady cops

The uh The lady cops are pretty hot IDF Yeah Nice Okay I'd crab your ma ga I don't know what that noise was

Sounded like a transformer It's their pussy transforming into something you can fuck And I'd penetrate their iron dome Like a transformer. It's their pussy transforming into something you can fuck. I'd penetrate their iron dome. Instead of your dumbass intro, every episode should start with a Muslim call to prayer. Allah wa faqir.

Allah wa faqir. That was good. I brought it. That was my favorite bit. We must respect the Jew! The Jew is our friend! No, no, no, no, no, no. That's way too far. I said we gotta respect them!

Yeah, but that's not what they say. That's you being anti-Semitic! Oh, brother! That's me being anti-Semitic. Oh, brother! We love the Jew! You cannot say The blank

You can't say we love Okay No Okay We have love for all the people Well because you sound like a German when you're saying it Yeah I can't

I don't know what an Iranian accent would be. Durka, Durka, Halaga, Mashad. Sorry, say that again? I was trying to remember Team America. Okay, this is the last one. Oh wait, maybe this one's good. Dick,

I think you need to educate Vito on what is a write-off. He's going on about this Warner Brothers guy coming in and canceling stuff, saying, oh, he's just doing it because it's a write-off, it's a write-off, it's a write-off. Newsflash, dude. If you went ahead and spent a little bit of money to finish the thing, or like Batgirl, released it, all the money that they spent to make it

would still be written off as business expense. He's not writing it off. That's actually true. He's cutting the bleeding. There's a big difference between writing something off and stopping the bleeding. Here's the difference is that the business expense is being written off, but the end product

is a product that has value. It is an asset. Like every value. It is an asset. Like every movie they own is an asset. So they're trashing it. With a certain value attached to it. So they say, we're never making money off of this asset again. Trash it. Yes.

And then write these losses off into the future. Yes. Yeah. I mean, if that's how accounting goes in Hollywood. But I've read Multiple articles about it And this is what Everyone is saying There's too much work

On this shit What I understand I understand that it is That the The actual asset itself Is being Depreciated The asset being

The unfinished film Not just the business expenses I believe it So fuck you Caller I'm right Cock sucker I would never be so confident Either way On movie accounting Well guys So fuck you, caller, I'm right. Cocksucker.

I would never be so confident either way on movie accounting. Well, guys, what a great show. Don't forget to vote on the problems at biggestproblem.show. And we've got a very special bonus episode, The Biggest Problem in Fast Food. You can watch a clip of that on our YouTube channel or listen to the whole episode at patreon.com slash a biggest problem yeah i put up of course me talking about how african americans in the drive-thru line sometimes take too long uh and i found the uh the video i was talking about uh what is it it was actually called uh

how to sell the negro which sounds terrible It sounds like you're selling black people But maybe I might need to pull some clips from that video of the secret of selling the knee What is this it is it is a guide to a businessman of a certain time period on how you might better sell to African-american sir, oh 1954 yeah, the secrets of selling the Negro. Oh my god what they. The Secrets of Selling the Negro. Oh, my God. What they're looking to buy

and when they're looking to buy it. It's a good film. It's got one million views on YouTube. Look at this pencil dick coming in. I'll have to... The average Negro wage earner today earns four more money than a few years ago. The Negro consumer is coming up.

Earns four times as much money than they did a few years ago. How much were they making before? Well, we don't want to talk about that. I feel like if I lived in the 50s, it would be so frustrating that that kind of shit, because without the internet, you go into work and you're like, hey, did you send out that memo? And you're like, yeah. Like, yeah?

What do you mean, yeah? Yeah. It said four times the amount of money they did in this year, and then you found the year that it was compared to, right? Kind of. I got the idea out there. It said, let me see the memo. I already sent it out, and I trashed it So I have to drive 2,000 miles to get one will you try you wish you just had an email Yeah, I may need to pull some clips from this video because it is very educational

Okay, I like it people want to know about the buying habits of the 1950s I like it. People want to know about the buying habits of the 1950s. Of the 1950s whom? Both people. All people. All people. I'm sure they'll compare and contrast.

Yeah. See, white guys buy stuff like this. But black guys like to buy stuff like this. That's pretty much the whole video. I mean, you could just joke about white guys and black guys as much as you want, right? It doesn't matter. I would hope so. Well, yeah, but no one fucking cares. But you joke about other fucking things and everyone.

It's a complicated scenario. It's real complicated. It changes depending on the, here's the thing. They'll get you because of who you are, not because of what you say. Because I'm Mexican. Ted Danson did blackface. Everybody loves Ted Danson. That was the 90s, though.

You could do that shit. You're right. Well, even back then it was kind of controversial a little bit he got away with it whoopie loved it she was laughing and then you see howard stern lampooned it and then they were trying to cancel him recently and they're like you did blackface i only did blackface in response to blackface that makes it okay and i'm like man the rules of blackface Howard Stern fucking sucks He was great Yeah but he's so anti-Trump now That's bullshit

He's jealous I think A lot of people are anti-Trump I'm anti-Trump Yeah but I think I think Howard Stern's jealous Because he did that whole Governor thing And he failed

And was not elected And Trump He like pulled out He probably could've got elected If he kept If he really took it seriously Well Trump took it seriously And he's the president Herschel Walker could've got Anyway if he kept if he really took it seriously well trump took it seriously and he's the president herschel walker could have got anyway he might still get elected

yeah he's a football guy okay cheating on his wife cool for two thank you both for not killing yourselves well you're welcome for now uh baron julius von brunk for two i got the plugs for 7k earlier this year yeah but you probably had more hair remaining than me mike hunt for two. I got the plugs for 7K earlier this year. Yeah, but you probably had more hair remaining than me. Mike Hunt for two. More boogie impressions. You're going to have to give us more than $2 for a boogie impression. I'll tell you that. Johnny Rico for a big $20 on the board.

Does Vito manage the biggest problem? Email. Has he not played my Tom Jones parody I sent on 913 because it reminds me of the cats? Has he betrayed you in the audience? TBF. I might be a talent in this act. it reminds me of a cat. Has he betrayed you in the audience? TBF, I might be a talentless hack. Play this long video.

I will tell you this. What biggest problem email? Yeah, that's a good question. Do you have a separate? It should be biggestproblemshow at gmail.com.

Yeah, but I also have the biggest problem in the universe. Yeah, there's actually two emails. So, there's biggest problem

in the universe at gmail.com Is it yours? Why don't you just send it to Dick Masterson Yeah I guess there's two different show emails I don't know which one you have And

I do have like ten email accounts I'm juggling between So I have not seen Ah jeez I'll check Whatever you supposedly sent in Dick right now is going through Fifty different passwords Trying to figure out how to get in.

Wrong password. You're locked out of the fucking show. Biggest problem show at Gmail. I don't want that one. I know the password. Wait, wait, here. Biggest problem. What was his name?

Johnny Rico. Johnny Rico. Type in Rico. Why would you type in Johnny? You already spelled it wrong. Smart. Song for Vito. You read it and you didn't even look at it

Hey Vito It was Vito Rapes Cats Do you want to hear it? Let's do it How much did he get? He spent 20 bucks, might as well Okay The song is called Vito Rapes Cats.mp4

I don't know why it's a video file Is there a video to go along with this? I hope not. Okay. Let me just put it in the correct episode folder. Well, Johnny, I'm glad you gave it. It's good that we should hold out on all our guests who send us bits. You know, you're the biggest problem in the goddamn universe.

What's up, Capra Pist? Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's up, Capra Pist? Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's up, cat-brave-ist? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Capricus? Pussycat, pussycat, I've got cute tips and lots of catnip to share with you. So go and rub your cute little pussycat clips. Jesus Christ. Pussycat, pussycat clit. Jesus Christ.

Pussycat, pussycat, I love you. Yes, I do. Why is this five minutes long? You and your pussycat clit. All right. Well, that's. Wait, wait, what happened? I think he saved a five minute video file with a 30 second song attached to it.

Way to go, retard. That was fucking terrible. Good work, Johnny. Thank you. MP3 it's called. Yeah, MP3 is the format you want. He said it's a five minute video file. It's a cat raping of audio files, not a fucking MP4 file.

Yeah. Good work, Johnny. I appreciate that. Don't forget, Ken Dahl and Hyde, we have the second half of his song as well. I'm going to start it from the beginning. Jason Moose for five. Give this super chat to Kendall. Absolutely not. Fanix the Great

for five. Unsub to the Patreon back in August. Thanks for the month and a half of free dopamine in the supporters end card. Okay. Fuck you, Fanix the Great. Keep fucking up. You small dick idiot. I need to change. I need to fix the supporters end card. I don Fuck you, Fadix the Great. Keep fucking up. You small-dicked idiot. I need to change. I need to fix the supporters end card. I don't know why I keep forgetting. I'm sorry. I told you that

it would be more work. Yeah, I know. I'm an idiot. I'm normally on top of this shit. No, you're not. No one believes that. I do a lot for this show. Alright? Just know I appreciate You get the Patreon name or you get the Discord name

Who cares about having their fucking name on a thing Some people care, I understand that they care It's been one month, you're gonna get up there eventually David Gomez for two If you don't get your fat head out of Richard's camera Well, we fucked that up I'm not in your way You're fine, fuck you, David Gomez

4120 Emails like the original Fediverse are big tech overlords have to be fairly determined to successfully boot you if you have your own domain. That Fediverse, huh? Andrew Nunez.

Oh, did you see the graph? Which one? Defederated me. Yeah, we talked about that. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Somebody clipped that.

Oh, yeah, I remember. They're using it to own you. And I'm like, I don't think you got owned there. Stupid, he defederated you. Hey, stop. Stop. Look at this. They're going it to own you. And I'm like, I don't think you got owned there. Stupid, he defederated you. Stop. Look at this. They're going to clip this too.

I don't know why they care so much. I'm glad kids can't afford a house. Honestly. They don't deserve one. Well, the way they joke online, like they just concern, because they're not funny, so they concern troll everything. Oh, can you believe that he's yelling? Yeah, it's funny.

I mean, I realized those guys were stupid when they spent a week convinced I only made $30,000 a year. That's painful. They said, how much are you making for Biggest Problem? I said, it's like $3,000 a month. And they're like, he only makes $30,000 a year. I'm like, that's not my total income. And they go like this. Yeah. They made a like this. Yeah.

They made a big spectacle on post and they're like, Vito is poor. Let's make out how poor he is. And I'm like, you know, I have like a YouTube channel and like another Patreon. It's not even worth like... It's very funny. They just, they make up a little narrative in their head. Andrew Nunez says I

for $9.99, says, I unsubscribed to the Patreon because I got double charged. TBF. That boy Mikey for $5.82. This show will definitely go down as one of the shows in history. It's one of the shows and not like the best one. Just one of the shows. Yeah. Keep up the problems, fellas.

Sure. Herb Beta Pat for $1.99. If Dr. Oz was Jewish he'd be Dr. can I say that Dr. Schnaz instead of

Dr. Oz I wonder why I don't know why that would be I don't know what Chewbacca has to do with that stinky poopy face

for three says this is gonna be a trick pad kid poured curd pulled cod. What does that mean? I don't know. Pad Kid poured curled pulled cod?

Pad Kid, Pad Kid, Pad Kid. I don't know. He's trying to get you to say poured curd. I don't know. Good work. Jack Rockstar for $4.99. The tax write-off only applies to the unreleased stuff. The shows already on HBO were canceled to avoid paying royalties to actors slash animators.

Okay, nobody knows. Can we just decide that no one fucking knows because we're not accountants? Me 420. David Zaslav is the same guy who shut down CNN Plus and punted Brian Seltzer. He's eradicating woke BS wherever he sees it. It's a cost correction. He eradicated CNN Plus. It's not woke BS.

Brian Seltzer sucks. It's because Trump was the ratings. Yes. Now that Trump is gone, everybody's gone. Because they're all just a bunch. They're all replaceable. CNN Plus wasn't woke. It's not woke garbage, you dumb fuck.

It was just a trash. Thank you for the $5. Thank you for the $5. Alexandra Dorn for, wow, $30. My wife turned 30 today. Wish Cherry a happy birthday and make her feel like the old lady she is. Cherry. Cherry's a young girl name.

It is a young girl name. You need to change names. Okay, we're not going to nag Cherry on her birthday, even though she has a stripper name. Cherry, congratulations on your birthday. That's a name of a woman of your age Something We love cherry Something a little sour

Grapes Happy birthday That's her new name I don't know how old you are But in our hearts You're young and vibrant And we love you Oh, she turned 30 today

Oh, she turned 30 Well, she's not old then What? 30 is, well, for a woman? She was old six years ago. Okay. 30? I'm older than her. Let's put it that way.

I'm still young at heart. 30 as a woman? Yeah. You get out of bed, your arms get out of bed, three seconds later, blah, blah, blah. It's terrible. It's terrible. Happy birthday, Cherry. Your arms are not flabbing. Everything's fine. Have you seen how they do that?

No. Have you seen how they do that? No, I haven't seen that. I'm aware of it. Ladies. Yeah. It's terrible. Rocky the Flying Squirrel. They gave us $30 for that. that No he did It's all his money He's working

We love you Cherry Ready Tidy 91 for 2 Love the show's guys Ralph won He's winning right now Cody McGoat Fades for 5

Your coworkers are not family There's no time Where they ever were Stop it They could be Vito stop it Also get Houston Jones On the show

See I've had good jobs Where like You know I liked All my coworkers and we hung out. That's not weird. Most of you guys work in shitty fucking places. Yeah. You're not personal. Most of everyone works in a shitty place. Well, there are some jobs where that's not the case.

Like what? Working at the gay bar? I worked at the comic shop. That was fun. We'd all hang out. Really? Like a Cheers but the comic shop. That was fun. We'd all hang out. Really? When I worked at the Domino's Pizza, we'd all smoke the pot and make a couple free pies. What year was that?

This is 2000s. Wow. That was a different time. It was a different time. It was before the pizza track. It was a great time. I remember when the pizza tracker debuted. It's a different time though now. Different time. We used to have to cheat the pizza tracker Great time Yeah but it was I remember when the pizza tracker Debuted Yeah It's a different time though now

Different time We used to have to cheat The pizza tracker You used to have to like Fuck around So people would think Their pizza was almost done Yeah yeah

Yeah yeah It's coming It's coming I showed you the Thing where you'd always Cut like a slice Out of the middle of the pizza That was the original hack

Was that Well cause you have The big circle pizza but if you cut a horizontal slice exactly midway through yeah you have a little like pizza roll up for yourself and then just shove the other two halves together that's fucked yeah well every dominoes is doing that when the employees are hungry they're cutting a chunk out of the center if your pizza comes and it's like a little bit more of an oval than a circle that means an chunk out of the center. If your pizza comes and it's like a little bit more of an oval than a circle, that means an employee cut out the center portion of your pizza for himself. And it happens all the time. Probably every pizza place doesn't.

Ride dog for five. Vote up long emails. See, there you go. That's another point about email. I'm defending emails now. Spook horse for five. If you don't love paying taxes taxes so much You can pay mine too I probably already am

You deadbeat So your taxes Are paying for Roads And cops They're paying For the military They're paying for

Retirement Retirement Yeah Social security Medicare Medicaid You like all that stuff I think social

I believe in a Social safety net I think it I believe in a social safety net I think it should be Restructured Better It's paying for all those prisons Where you keep all those Fucking

Super criminals Oh yeah I want more of those We should send old people to prison Probably work out Pretty well for them Yeah Yeah

Be cheaper They don't need a lot John for five Go woke, go broke Just because it rhymes Doesn't mean it's true You debronies I agree

A lot of woke media Makes money That's the other thing People neglect They think every woke thing Is not financially viable And it's just not true Lemon Sake for two

Says the dickless guy Should keep texting Vito Please don't Oh yeah That guy With the circumcision Texts Vito like all day All the time

If you want to text me And say I'm going to be in town You know, it'd be great to meet Don't go Text him over and over and over That circumcision problem, let me tell you about my dick The thing about my weird dick is Alright, let's see David Gomez for five

I want to hear Richard singing the praises of Allah While the call to prayer plays in the background again Funniest thing ever. Wait a minute. David Zaslav is the same guy who shut down CNN Plus and funded by his delta.

He's eradicating woke BS wherever he sees it. It's of course correct. Are you trying to say I got... Got? No, I don't think you did. He sent more than one though.

He sent more than one thing. Yeah. Emails like the original Fediverse... Damn it! Emails like... Our big tech... He got me. I suck, Hawks!

Okay. Read what he said. Thank you. Yeah. Our big tech overlords have to be fairly determined to successfully boot you if you have your own domain. Well, there you go. Thank you. Very good.

I feel like if Dick misses them, he should be punished. You're supposed to be on top of it. Try to figure out a punishment. Me says Vito said to figure out a punishment. Chat, roll it back. You're right. You got me, you cocksucker. Clint Janes for five.

Vito's fast food problem is how I feel being behind People getting lottery tickets Those people belong in jail God I hate that Just sitting there Getting lotto After lotto ticket You're like Can I just pay for my gas

Yeah David Gomez for two F you Richard Take my money Zad 12 for $10 Says test Test Wow thanks

What a show 10 bucks I'll check real quick If there's any other super chance But I want to thank everybody For coming by What a great time What a show 10 bucks I'll check real quick If there's any other super chance But I want to thank everybody For coming by What a great time What a great show

That's it Why don't we show Our most popular supporters Up on the board Real quick Even though I haven't Updated this graphic In a month

Yeah but this isn't even This isn't even them Most of them are on Some of these people Are getting stolen valor There is some stolen valor On there But I'm gonna

Remember to do it Okay You said that though It's been a rough month Why? Valor? There is some stolen valor on there, but I'm gonna remember to do it, okay? You said that, though! It's been a rough month. Why? Because I'm tired and I'm working on the comic and I got a YouTube video that's never gonna get finished. What's it about? What's the YouTube video about?

Yeah. It's about Ghostbusters. Which one? The bad one from 2016. Oh, yeah. It's an hour-long breakdown of Ghostbusters. Which one? The bad one from 2016 Oh yeah It's an hour long breakdown About Lady Ghostbusters Of the Lady Ghostbusters movie That kid one sucked too

I didn't see it That was bad man Let me put it this way I was working on The original plan for this video Was for it to release The same week as the kid Ghostbusters movie Which is now a year old

So I put it off Yeah Because I wasn't able to make That date you know it'd be crazy People don't understand how long Editing takes is what I'm trying to say It's a very time consuming process It's like making a full length movie Every week basically

Not every week but editing It's like editing a full length movie some of these fucking things Just eyeball it Hire somebody Even when I hire guys I gotta Take their work and I gotta reconsolidate Editing a full length movie Some of these fucking things Just eyeball it Hire somebody I did Even when I hire guys I gotta I gotta take their work

And I gotta Reconsolidate it Oh I found one guy Who's good Is it Salvo Pancakes? No it's not Salvo Pancakes Cause he's good

At editing? Yeah What did he edit? I don't know Why are you sucking up To Salvo Pancakes? I'm not sucking up. I'm just saying he's good at editing.

Okay. Sounds good. I'm glad. What a show. Thanks, everybody. Do you think we'll ever get a Ghostbusters with men? Well, the last one was with little boys, right? Little boys and girls.

Do you think we'll ever get one with men? Is that a joke? Yeah, we get one with men sound like a set of junk yeah we got one of them the original do you think we'll ever get another one with men no yeah i think we'll always have one lady ghostbuster now when's the last movie that was like just guys it was that gay movie that came out that none of us went to see bros yeah i wanted to see it though why that guy's all right he's funny what guy billy eichner oh yeah but his like gay love interest is like uh way too attractive for him it's not every romantic comedy apparently like was uh no didn't chris farley get like the smoking hot chick at the fucking that's not a rom-com That's a slapstick comedy movie

Oh so rom-com Anything with Matthew McConaughey That's rom-com And the woman is always Did you ever see Amy Schumer's rom-com? Trainwreck? Yeah No I'd rather

Be hit by a train Than watch Anything Amy Schumer's ever done Parts of it were okay Yeah Then there were some parts Where I'm like Hey Judd Apatow

You don't have to put All your friends in the movie I hate that Yeah he's like Matthew Broderick Do you want to do a It's clear that he had a scene Where he's like

Hey I'll get LeBron James And Matthew Broderick And they filmed it And it wasn't funny at all And he's like Yeah but they're my buddies And he left it in the movie anyway I'm like nah

You gotta cut that shit Did you see that LeBron James Did a podcast with Kanye Apparently LeBron was not There for that episode Oh he fell asleep I don't know if he fell asleep I just Apparently Kanye came in and did

Whoever else is on that show Kanye did a tight Five about juice yeah and they Won't refuse to air They refuse to air it and there's all Jews. Yeah, and they won't refuse to air it. And there's all the Tucker Carlson stuff they won't air because he also is just like, the thing about Jews is...

He says he's Jewish. I guess the anti-Semites are trying to keep him off the air. Yeah, anti-Semitism is being anti... Kanye. Kanye. I mean, I don't know. Maybe there's a 13th 13 He had some stuff to say About Kwanzaa He was mad his kids

Learned about Kwanzaa I didn't He said I wish They were learning About Hanukkah At least they'd be Fiscally literate And everyone's like

What do you mean No it'd be Financial engineering Yeah what is that I didn't even know That was anti-Semitism What Kwanzaa No saying like

Oh I wish I wish my culture was more like Jewish culture because they would do better financially. I didn't know that was anti-Semitic. Well, not all Jews are financially successful. Okay. I love Kwanzaa, then. Good night, everybody.

What a show. Wait, we have to play the Ken Dollin hat tag. Oh, you're right. I'll play the fucking song. You ever have a cat and heat in your house? No. Making noise, we have to play the Ken-Dollin' hat tag. Oh, you're right, I'll play the fucking song. You ever have a cat in heat in your house? No. Making noise, and you gotta grab the Q-tip and jack it off.

You just gently put it against... And a cat has an orgasm in like two seconds, and it goes, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH her know she's my favorite animal kitty you're incredible clawing all my furniture licking on their assholes pissing on my bed what a bunch of little rascals one kitty two kitty three kitty four kitties on the sofa kitties on the floor kitties on my bed kitties on my mind if i had my way i'd spend each day with kitties that'd be fine i'm the fat cat daddy and i'm always adding to my kitty cat crew Cat crew keeps stacking you can pet em, you can hug em, shake temptations they come running You can bet my kitties know that I'm their daddy, and I love em

Ask my pussy what her dad's like, she'll say his favorite pastimes include sliding Q-tips inside my virgin feline's vagina They say, Vito you're so sick, why fuck your cats with Q-tips? Because you stupid dipshit, my pinky finger's too thick Now, let's be clear, to be fair, I suck cocks too In the alley drinking straight cocktail half past two No Get back here This sex is dynamite, consensual and not a crime

Because my kitty kinda whined, it's justified, unlike your outrage Vito, that's horrible! Three other psychos online did it, that makes it normal I want my kitty toyed and you're so mad Like I'm Arnold and you're Sinbad You're tweeting out in all caps I'm coming inside all caps It's not bestiality Strictly medical proof

My porn history's all dicks and tentacles She's in heat five in the morning I need sleep, I'm almost forty It's like fucking your own grandma With a dildo when she's horny It's platonic, I don't want it It's just something responsible cat owners have to do You got it?

Let's change the topic Well, dick, my comic book's not woke or in choke Now I'm getting stung by Dorme while fucking cats like Alde He said I'm fat and all gay and I love blacks and bay-bays I'd stay retired, I brought the rhymes, he's got the accent and the yeah-yeah But I'm the kitty cat's playa, biggest problem? All my haters Boated up like my cat's butt When she's in heat and I masturbate her

Sorry kitty, I need a break Got a bitch online about lightsabers Two girls, one cup How about two cats, one Q-tip? I'm Vito, Vito, Vito Watch me lose it cause I'm cat rape Vito And I'm sick of people saying Don't rape cats, you're a fucking weirdo

I explained it quite enough I linked one article and stuff So can't you guys leave me alone? I did link one article. I'm the fat cat daddy, and I'm always adding to my kitty cat crew. Cat poo keeps stacking. You can lick them. You can suck them.

Hold them down. If they try running, you can bet my kitties know that I'm their daddy. Cause I fuck them. So what do you guys think? The cat is raped? In the forest? And nobody's around to report it? Where'd you get the cat and eat? Is it still raped?

I don't think it is. The world's going crazy. That's hot. I gotta put out some raps Wait are you playing that? That's horrifying Yeah imagine listening to that For like hours That was unnerving

Just hearing it in the song Just throw it outside Oh it'll get in trouble It'll get molested by someone else. Well. That cat was a slut. She was getting every time Dick and Harry was having his way with my cat. Okay, goodbye.