The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 63

Episode Date: November 8, 2022

Do not disturb me, bitches! Unless it's yay! Break through! Ow! Oh, he just... Wait, do I have to do the song that Vito does? No, you don't have to do shit that Vito does.

Vito's dead. Vito's dead to us. Nice! I am the new Vito. Vito Josh Waldy. Anything that Vito doesn't like, you don't have to do. Let's forget about Vito. It's just you and it's just Josh and me now.

As it always has been. No Vitos allowed. I am the new... There. Sounds great. Okay, cool. That's my audio check. Nice. You were saying you're texting. Oh, are we going now? Yeah, we're going now. Yeah, I said I had to turn my do not disturb on you You said only if it's for

Only if it's yay And I was like well that is who's texting me right now Oh I could text him a period If I texted the period he wouldn't even know who texted it to him It was you I would know though Yeah you would know

You would be like I If I would know, though. Yeah, you would know. You would be like, I... If I texted him a pray hands? Yeah. Like, eee! He would probably give like an amen or something. In the context of what I just sent before I put my phone on do not disturb, that would be weird. It would be weird to throw a prayer hands in. What did you put?

After that. Well, it was in regards, though. He's like, oh, wow, I thought you guys sounded very similar. And I was like, we have similar values but way different approaches. Oh, that could be said for us. And then I said, he wants everyone to be his exact self-righteous version of what he thinks people should be, and I just want people to be themselves. But then if you threw prayer hands after that.

That would be perfect. I guess so, yeah. That would be perfect. Yeah. By the way, it would be so funny if you put the prayer hands and you go, this is Dick, by the way, as if he would have any. And then take a selfie. Ah! Yeah. By the way, it would be so funny if you put the prayer hands and you go, this is Dick, by the way, as if he would have any, and then take a selfie. Yeah. I will tell you this. I, um, the, I didn't know. So the way we got in touch was, uh, Candace. So I like wrote this long Twitter thing about how like weird it is that

all the things that have happened in my life have kind of lined up perfectly for me to know this guy or work with him or whatever. It just felt like this cosmic tornado of like we're like on a collision course with each other. Does Ye want us to kill that guy? Egg his house in Minecraft?

I mean, you know that guy? The zombie man? So he, oh God, yeah. NoHo Hank, as I've been calling him all day. Yeah. He looks like NoHo Hank from Barry. Yeah, don't respond to this if you want us to go mess that guy up in Minecraft. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, did you ever see that movie, The Breakup, with Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston?

No. I saw the trailer. There's a scene at the end of that. Is this yay? Should I get this? There's a scene. Hello? I gotta go.

I don't know who that is. There's a scene at the end of it where Favreau is like his buddy who's a bartender. And Vince Vaughn is sitting there and he's like, I just, I don't know where I went wrong with the relationship. And he goes, you got to get one of these apps that measures keystrokes. Then you find that you get a email. And then we find out who this guy is. We pay him a visit. And he's like, I really don't want you to, I really don't want you to pay him a visit

or anything like that. He goes, no, no, I got you. I got you. Right. Yeah. I don't want to pay him a visit. Yeah. When you leave here, make a few phone calls, you know, like take your time.

I just want to talk to him. Yeah. Yeah. And he's like, no, no, I really, John, I really don't want you to do anything. He's like, no, of course you don't. Of course you don't. Yeah. It's like, that's what it is.

Like, yeah. Also also does that guy do you not realize i was like i i've talked to my girlfriend about this morning and i go i'm not a gang affiliate i'm not like a gang guy but i was like i kind of want to go do a drive-by on this fucking guy's house after that yeah minecraft of course obviously theoretically i can't imagine talking to a black guy like that no like wow It's hilarious that you said it that way I'm gonna turn you into a zombie and I'll medicate you And you're never gonna see your kids I'm like man if I ever said that to a black guy

I would be like fucking hole in the wall Pew gone Yeah I have a hard time being like Excuse me sir Could you mind You just cut in line I don't know if you didn't know the line was back I don't know if you realize that there's an order to society

Could you possibly Partake with the rest of us for a second? At least acknowledge that you violated the end. Yeah, could you at least acknowledge that you are, I believe the phrase is, whiling out in this Chipotle, and it's unnecessary. I would just, and this guy's like, I'm going to take your whole life. I was like, Jesus Christ.

I mean, it's almost as if- We can do this at any time? It's almost as if he's part of some larger collective with an obscene amount of power and influence that would make him. I don't know what the trainer guild. Yes. The personal trainers are all over. Yes. See the personal trainer network.

They have the power to tell anybody that they look fat. They're not doing good at their workout. Exercise. This is almost as this is like a pseudo fat watch. But this is how, you know, exercise is evil. Yeah. This is almost a, this is like a pseudo fat watch, but this is how, you know, exercise is evil. Yeah.

Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because of this guy. This is why I don't do it. Everybody. This is, this is,

I've been against it. The pyramid of Zion. They have a food. You got to lift yourself up on it. You know what I mean? And then you got to do 10 reps on that. And then Shabbat Shalom. How do you think they built that wall?

Yeah. Leg day. Leg day. Leg day. Oh, man. I just lost my Twitter. Or my friend did. This is when Vito goes biggest.

But don't do anything that Vito does. Stupid. Everyone hates that bit Where he sings this song Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe The only show that Fuck, I forgot the rhyme I forgot the fucking rhyme I forgot everything about the show

Because I'm so excited to be here with Josh Denny I'm your host Nick With the only show that ranks every problem in the universe From Finding the edge of tape To I don't know, putting a bunch of pumpkins in a crate. I mean, I was sick, Master. What is pedo jacketing?

That was a problem where people are making fun of Vito. Oh. So he brought it in again, how he's always joking about being a pedophile and then it tricks people. Into thinking he is a pedophile? Yeah, he's sarcastically like his way of you know how liberals are like sarcastic yeah and someone will say like well you're a pedophile and he's like hey yeah i am i love it yeah he's like and then they record that and play it back to him all the time yeah maybe don't be sarcastic about that one like there are certain ones where you're just like you should just be like i'm not that that seriously you know what? I mean, like maybe maybe don't play the sarcasm with like, oh, I love to

Fuck kids like maybe don't do see someone's gonna take me doing that and they'll be like I know he's gonna tell you he was being sarcastic, but he's having a weird voice though That's how you know, he means it. That's real. I mean it's it's presented as sarcasm and humor, but You know like all of his racism Sexism and homophobia This too is real The racism one You sarcasm your way

Into that Every day All day It's fine Yeah The kid one I was like Maybe you need to stop

Dealing with Maybe you need to stop Using sarcasm To deal with your Detractors Yeah Period Yeah

But specifically The pedophilic ones He's like I think there should be A prequel to Cuties Whenilic ones. He's like, I think there should be a prequel to cuties when they're even younger. It's like, come on, stop trolling. It's so bad. You're getting these jackets. It's so bad to the point now where I literally have to defend veto to my other like right wing fans who are like, we don't cancel anybody. And they're like, except that veto. He likes these. I'm all about the pedophilia. And I go,

I know you think that because of how much he says It but you got to trust me when I tell You it's he's doing a bit and they go Well yeah but I don't trust that one yeah Yeah they're just like that's not a Bit though and I go no I mean I hope I mean it is And they go I still don't know

Are you sure I can't say that I'm seen everybody he's Ever fucked ever? I've seen his cat. He fucked his cat? Yeah. Kinda. I mean.

Probably. He's pretty. I tell you, the cat's in more danger than anybody's kids. I mean, it's because the cat's right there. You know, you got to go find a kid. Well, how old is the cat? Well. Well.

In cat years or in fuck years? He's 18. Yeah. I mean. Clearly. Yeah, he's almost, the? He's 18. Yeah. I mean. Clearly. Yeah. He's almost, the cat's barely 18. Yeah.

I mean, what's the feline age of consent? Two. And, oh my, and, oh, in human or cat years? Well, that's nine lives, right? They get nine years for every year. Is that what it is? It's seven for dogs and nine for cats? Yeah, I thought that's because of their lifespan.

Fucking pussy always costs more, doesn't it? Okay. Thank you for doing the show. Yeah, thanks for having me. That's because of their lifespan Fucking pussy always costs more Doesn't it? Okay Thank you for doing the show Thanks for having me We have a big live show planned It's not that big But it's Very small

It's a very small Intimate Exclusive live show At live.biggestproblem.show Vito would be here To promote it But he decided to go to Las Vegas Yeah what's going

What con is out there with broads at it? It's a single mom con. Is it? It's Midwest mom con. That sounds like his jam. Andy Signore and Vito are championing. You know what we like is this Oster bread maker. How about you, gals?

It's like they just sell. What does a Midwest mom convention do? Just all sell Tupperware back and forth to each other in some weird pyramid scheme? Yeah, and they all like hold up all their Invisalign and their pictures and stuff. Some mom paid for him to go. What? Some other mom that's not his mom? Yeah, another mom.

I don't know if his mom knows about this. That would be... He's cheating on his mom with a different mom? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Anyway, that's where he is. Sounds like knows about this. That would be. He's cheating on his mom with a different mom? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Anyway. Sounds like something a fucking pedophile would do.

Anybody. Biggest problem, everybody. All right. Here's some comments from every. Oh, let's do the, even though this won't really mean anything to you, it makes a big deal. It means a lot to me. Vito. Finding the edge on packing tape won last week. Finding the edge on packing tape won last week By the way, I immediately

Turned into a rage reading that Because I was like, this is so Why does this problem still exist? At all Single serving We need single serving packing tape In an appropriate amount And then put that in a bag

But you know what the thing is I found a solution for this Which is I just take the end of the tape like I've found a solution for this, which is I just take the end of the tape and I ball it up and jam it to the side of the gun so that this is never a problem. And you know who ruins that? Women. Yeah.

Because my dumb girlfriend will use a pack of tape and she don't do the ball up and then it goes right back to the shit. You know? I bet if I wrapped it around your fucking neck, you wouldn't lose that edge, would you? You know? This is more of your fake hating women bravado. That's actually one of my problems is how hard it is to fake hating women. It's like a bags of sand.

What do you guys hate about women, huh? I hate how they're always in a rush to get everywhere. String them up! I hate how they don't even know how many planets there are. All right. I hate, uh, what I hate about women is how they could sit through an entire film without stopping the film to ask you about what's happening in the film. If they don't follow, yeah. Get a rope. All right. Uh, pedo jacketing, which we already discussed franchise crossovers, which is pretty broad, right?

I mean Yeah, I mean that's That could be like the The McWhopper That's like coming of a franchise Like Family Guy vs. Simpsons That was a great episode Yeah

Simpsons did it at South Park Oh yeah, The Critic did a Simpsons crossover Yeah, that was good You come twice with The Simpsons did at South Park Oh yeah, The Critic did a Simpsons crossover Yeah, that was good You'd come twice with The Simpsons Yeah Transformers vs. G.I. Joe Pretty much anybody the Transformers have fought Yeah, those are pretty good

Like, I mean, most of the crossovers have been good Yeah You know, that sounds like a comic book nerd one to be like I don't like it when the universe is so touch You know I don't know Whatever he says Holiday decorations Is mine In the negative I don't know

How that could possibly be People love Your fans love Holiday decorations Is that what that means Like this is Not only is this Not a problem

It's a negative problem Yeah I think Stockholm Syndrome Like there's no Have you ever had fun Putting up a holiday Decoration No It's literally like Deer hunter On who has to put Ornaments on the tree syndrome. Like there's no Have you ever had fun putting up a holiday decoration? No. It's literally like deer hunter on who has

to put ornaments on the tree in our house. Why do you have a tree then? It's literally like look at you and then look at you and then whichever one of us doesn't blow our brains out has to decorate the tree. I put the only fun I ever had. Actually if we were smart we would angle our heads so that the loser is

the one who decorates the tree. You know what I mean? Maybe that's how I'll do it this year, finally. The only fun I ever had doing holiday decorations was in 2016. Right when we first started dating, we got a tree because it was still in like the, you have to pretend that you're partly woman to date when you're lying about who

you are to, so that they accept you. Yeah. Yeah. Or maybe you're just happy for like seven months. And then you just, what you do accept you yeah yeah or maybe you're just happy for like seven months and then you just what you do is you keep them until they age out and then they gotta take you for who you are right is that what we're all doing yeah uh i made a trump for the top of the tree oh perfect yeah back when before the shine was he doing this at the top of the tree as well? That sounds like more of a menorah decoration instead of a tree. Oh! Oh!

Okay, here's some comments from the last. Dave Swigert. I gotta throw down on the write-off thing. I think the media is outspreading misinfo and such as a manager of a profitable eBay account. I believe it's called a write-down when a retailer buys shit and

they can't sell it like magazines when they don't sell them and they cut off the covers and throw them in a dumpster. Great show. Love you. Gay F-slurs. Get on Rumble or Locals, please. I might have to because I don't have Twitter anymore. That doesn't matter. My Room Records. Vito is right, but in the worst way, by constantly giving ammo to people who call him a pedophile. New bit.

Every time Vito talks about kids, he has to watch 30 seconds of Cuties. I don't want to watch Cuties. Why would we reward that behavior? If you really believe that about him, it's like, that's one of the things I never understood about, like, if you were really gay and you were like the kind of gay that would

fuck everybody, like you're one of these sex-addicted gays, why wouldn't you just be a bank robber? To go straight to prison? Yeah, what's the fucking, you lose, you go to Disneyland? Because you run out of guys in there. I don't think so. You gotta, that's why you gotta rob a really big bank where there's a lot of guys.

Maybe everyone in prison likes to, I assume gay people have a problem of, like, all wanting to get fucked in the ass, and not there's nobody who to do the ass fucking. So maybe you get stuck in prison. But if you're like a bottom, prison's great, right? Because everybody there, they're like, we're not gay. We fuck you and you're gay. And he's like, yes, I am. Like, I don't know what they do.

Do you think that's, do you think they're mostly tops in prison? I think so. I mean, unless it's just all gay guys in there. Yeah. Maybe they're all bottoms. I can't imagine guys getting in the- I'm going to get you in the shower, and then this skinhead guy's like, all right, I'm going to get you.

He lays down in front of him, and he's like, this is you getting me? And he's like, yeah, you do me. Yeah, do me or I'll kill you. It's like that scene, it's like that episode of South Park when he's like, I put my dick in your mouth, that makes you gay. And he's like, or your dick in my mouth. Yeah. Or he's like, Butters, you put your dick in my mouth, that makes you gay. And he's like, yeah, I think it makes you gay. like Butters you put your dick in my mouth That makes you gay

And he's like Yeah That makes you very fucking gay Yeah Yeah Alright That's all the comments I have Are you ready for this?

Yeah Problem Live.biggestproblem.show It's BYOB Yes A BYOB show We're gonna try to station a food truck out front So they'll probably have some booze

Maybe have booze for sale But but definitely some food for sale. Yeah. It's down in Long Beach. It's the biggest problem in Long Beach. Your co-host is going to come too, right? What's his? Carl Spitali. Carl Spitali.

You guys do the sports show. Big time sports city sports show on Censored TV, which is like, you know, 50% sports and 50% crazy shit that's going on in the world. Okay. Silly bits. So we're going to do% crazy shit that's going on in the world. Okay. Silly bits. So we're going to do, are you guys both going to do standup? Yeah. I figure we'll probably do like, between the three of us, we'll do like less than an hour of standup and then we'll do this show.

Do an episode of The Biggest Problem. Yeah. Well, I think it'd be cool to do it live and get people to shout problems and then we debate them on stage. Oh yeah. That's even less work. Yes. And I had in mind.

You don't have to prep. What are you going to prep? Problems? That's a great idea. Take them from the audience. That's what we do. It's BYOB. Yes.

It's BYO anything you want. Yes. And it's outdoors. Don't ask me if you can bring illegal shit because I have to say no. Yes. So don't be a fucking idiot and ask every fucking time.

And you got to be 21 and you can't do drugs anywhere. They know. So don't be a fucking idiot and ask every fucking time. And you got to be 21. And you can't do drugs at anywhere, even at home. Right. Whatever the whatever the law says is what you guys got to do. Right. OK, so go there. Buy tickets.

We'll see you there. It's November 19th. What do you say here? Seven thirty is OK. Yeah. Seven thirty doors. We'll probably start around 8 o'clock. It's a very intimate show, so

don't wait around to get tickets because you'll wait around and they'll be gone. I know it's only three weeks away, but at the rate we're going, they'll be gone in three days. Good. And my problem is black Israelites. I thought you were done after the first word. I was like, that's mine too.

What do we do? Is it triple word score? How does it work? Israelites. I thought you were done after the first word. I was like, that's mine too. I guess what do we do? We go. There's a triple word score. How does it work? Can you believe these guys? I would love that. I love that you specify Israelites, but go on the black one. Yeah. Yeah. What do you suggest? No, no. Look, do you think just the Israelites are the problem? Look, You think just the Israelites are the problem? Look, haven't they had enough? Yeah. They need these jokers.

I put anti-Semitism up on the big board a couple weeks ago, and people voted it down. Yeah. I mean, it's not- They don't think there's enough? I guess not. Okay. And that's- Well- Very offensive.

One of my new friends is really working hard to fix that for you guys. So I hope you got everything you wanted for Christmas. Look, if you guys want to learn about a whole other Holocaust every day, then that's your business. Okay? But not me. There's so many Holocaust. I mean, like, everything's Holocaust now.

You know, this is our Holocaust, you know? I mean, I've even been guilty of it. Like, when menus get rid of my favorite food item, I go, this is our Holocaust. But it's getting to a point where now if somebody says like, oh, well, my parents were no holic. Now I'm going to start to go like, whoa, wait a minute. Which one?

What do you mean? Yeah, isn't it weird that people are like, my dad was in Auschwitz and you're like, you're 22. Like, I don't believe you. And they go, you can't not believe me. You can't not believe me. That's anti-Semitic. Yeah. I don't like Willie. Like, you could, this is where I'm taking believe you. You can't not believe me. That's anti-Semitic. Yeah.

This is where I'm taking it now is where I'm going to start calling things anti-Semitic that are nowhere in the vicinity. If somebody's like, oh, you like the Marvel Avengers Endgame movies? I hate Marvel stuff. That's fucking anti-Semitic. Of course you do because you're anti-Semitic.

It's a pretty good catch-all for criticism Season 2 of She-Hulk If you don't like it it's because you're anti-Semitic Look the joke has gone on Far enough With the black Israelite Stuff

That's all I'm saying we all had a good laugh Ari Shafir had the best joke about it though Did you watch Ari Shafir's special Jew It's like an hour and a half of Ari talking about, no, I don't know if you know this, but he was going to be a rabbi. Like he went to the place where you do that in Israel and the,

like where they certify you. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Uh, well, Jerusalem, I think specifically,

um, but like the main temple where they, you know, they, you're a rabbi. Now they give you your curly fries and stuff. And, uh, but he does have a a rabbi now. They give you your curly fries and stuff. They have a cave there.

Yeah. At the wall. The cave of wonders. Am I confusing it with Aladdin? It's like, well, okay, so there's the wailing wall, right? Where everybody goes and like takes pictures and stuff. They touch it and they feel Jesus through the wall. And they think about the Super Bowl. Well, not Jesus, right?

I don't know. They don't like him. It's got a bunch of holes on it. It's not a glory hole, even though it looks like one. You shove. You write. You basically take a rolling paper and you write, like, Dick's gay. And then you roll that up.

I just wrote squiggle stuff because if somebody pulled it out and read it, I didn't want them to read what you were thinking. Yeah, so I just wrote like squiggly writing Just like pretend to be Jewish And then stuck it in there And then you get The lightning bolt comes from heaven Then I did the Macarena

Then you're in right? And then I'm in And then there's like a cave that goes off that way That has like secret tomes in it I guess But this is a true story what I'm saying. No, I believe you. It also has like bookshelves and stuff in there that look like they were just found on the side of the road,

like in North Hollywood. Kind of like tilt, like they're rocking back and forth. Like, I don't know. People there are going nuts though. Yeah, I mean, that's one of the reasons Why I would never go because like I would it's impossible for me not To laugh if people are like Very difficult I get very uncomfortable

When people start singing unsolicited In public yeah I don't Know what I could do if somebody started Like praying loudly or like Having a religious Like speaking in tongues or Like roll like yeah I get cringe hair. Like, is this guy really, is this fucking guy doing the whole thing?

I'd be like, can't you just like do that a little more? Just keep it in here with you and the big guy upstairs. You know what I mean? Like he can hear you. Yeah. Yeah. No, I get it. You can mind meld with him.

You know, I don't think you got to like perform it. Look, they're just too powerful. That's what I'm saying. The Israelites. You can't have both. The black Israelites. You can't have it. You got to pick one or the other.

Well, what I was going to say is Ari Shaffir's joke was like, uh, the Hebrew Israelites make sense because they're like, how could, uh, how could our Jews build anything? Like it would make sense. If you look at the workload of building the pyramids that the real Jews were probably, you know, something along those lines of like, if you really look at it, like who probably did all that manual labor, it's probably not guys who look like me.

Probably those ones. That's a pretty good argument. I love it because when you hear you can imagine guys like, oh yeah, that does. I think I actually am a black yeah because the way he said it he was like you really picked us to be slaves like clearly there are better slaves in Africa okay yeah it's basically the the crux of his joke without butchering it but uh but yeah but that but to me it's like somebody made that joke to a black Jew, and they were like, oh yeah, we probably did do all that work.

So maybe the Jews were all us from the beginning. I thought we were just getting a handle on all this stuff. Yeah. Racism with Obama and everything. You thought Obama was the cure? I thought Obama was going to fix it. I saw it the day after Obama won. I saw an old Jewish guy in the gym walk up to a giant ripped black guy.

You told me this story before, I think. Yeah, and he said, oh, that was pretty incredible, right? Yeah, and then they all hugged. Pretty incredible. Yeah, I remember when I was at it. The black guy was like, what the fuck is this guy doing? Yeah, and I remember when Obama won the election, I was at an open mic with like a bunch of black comedians.

And when they announced the results, I thought it would be funny to run into the crowd of blacks and be like, we did it, guys. Did you do it? Yeah. What did they do? They were just like, get the fuck out of here. Yeah, they didn't care.

They were just like, we don't know if we really like him or not. They go, you only like him because he's half white. That's the thing. You never got full credit for voting for Obama. They were just like, it's because he's half white. And you're just like, no, no, I like the black half. I don't even notice the white half. Or other lines from the movie get out could you imagine though if any other group would pretend that they're uh another like if someone that pretend everybody

knows the irish are the true samurai but if someone like mr. call i just walk around like that all the samurai sword Samurai sword on me. Yeah. Don't you insult my culture. Everybody know. That's what I'm saying. It's really funny that what's happening and everybody, you know. Yeah.

But come on. There would be people that would try to argue that. They're like, actually, if you think about it, Vikings probably were the first samurai. If you really think about it. Like imagine if some group was always pretending to be white I mean it would be it would be totally bogus. Yeah, right? Yeah, so nobody would do that No one would do that would do that now. It was like no no or white guy. It would be duplicitous

Yeah to fake like you're another Group yeah just for whatever Updudes Social media points Just to make a point Just social credit score or anything It would be offensive It would be like if I out of nowhere Was like I think I'm a lady

Treat me as such If that were to happen Hypothetically I mean god What ridiculous world would we live in Where something like that would be a regular occurrence, right? Yeah. And certainly we wouldn't have generals that would do something like that and then go on to... What do you want? Other people

going around pretending to be whatever you are and saying what a shithead that we are as a group while pretending to be you? I don't think you want that. So be careful laughing at this stuff or else it'll happen to you yeah and then it will be you know so you're saying is that it's very possible that this was a self-inflicted wound hey i don't know five years may have produced i don't know i mean now that the race war is on

the other foot it's not so funny is is it? It's all I think. It's so funny. I'm just a dumb idiot over here. Yeah, I just love that after all this talk about a civil war, it's literally just going to be like black people, Jewish people, and transgenders fighting over who was the first slaves. Everybody know transgenders was the indentured servants before blacks everybody knows it they just the you know the victors write the history books you know what i

don't and if anybody says you know what well actually historically i'm like no done i don't need to ever learn anything about history again yeah i'm chock full of here i was up to here the first week of fifth grade i saw i saw the um I saw on the list of problems that one thing was like inventing black inventors. I actually call that Wakandan history, which is this idea that like everything that exists was secretly invented by black people. I told you this when I was on your show last time. If I had a TV network, it would just be things that black people can't believe, like street magic, and things they can believe like i think we did invent i think the earth is flat and we did build that shit first

aliens are actually black yeah you knew that yeah they're actually black and that's why that's what they're hiding from us we were the supreme intelligence we had we had spaceships with 22 inch rims on them that we the whole is a rim. Why do you think that is? Yeah, spinning. It's spinning. Why do you think we like that? So why do you think we like gold so much? We came to this planet to mine it.

Get the gold out of a supernova. That's why. Have you ever heard the alien creation theory conspiracy stuff from like Eddie Bravo or any of those guys? No. They came here and they invented us to mine gold. And then people are like, what are you stupid?

And you go, no, no, you're right. You're right. You believe a guy in a boat, like put all the animals. It's like,

it's like, you can't tell somebody that their belief, their religious thing is stupid because they could all be made to sound stupid. If you pull the dumbest shit from each of them, you know what I mean? It's like they all take a wild amount of faith. That's stupid. That's the dumbest one.

Everything just happens for nothing. Yeah, it's like... At least we're trying. So kill yourself. If there's no reason for your existence, then that's one thing I love about that cult leader, Teal Swan, is people come to her and it's usually like lost white women who've been raped or touched at the office. And they're like, I think I should kill myself.

She's like, why haven't you? Yeah. And they're just like, I don't know. That's tough love. Yeah, it is. She's just like, yeah, I mean, if you haven't, maybe you have a purpose. But if you don't have a purpose, maybe you should explore that. Look, all I'm saying saying all I'm saying is if

you think black Israelites are a bigger problem than anti-semitism then go ahead and vote it's up to you it's up to you I love that you're I love that you put them in this standoff with themselves you guys voted anti-semitically not my fucking fault. Okay. You want me to go? Yeah, go ahead. Well, speaking on this line of like antisemitism and cancellations and stuff, one thing that I think is a gigantic problem is jersey burning. And I use that as a catch-all for any time that like there's some sort of like, oh, we can't support this brand anymore.

Like I don't even think I can wear this jacket anymore. I get so many Adidas taxis I know I gotta get I gotta get rid of them all now I actually can't wait Till Ye does his line

Or whatever it is Yeah Cause I can't I mean I love Trailer Park Boys But Now I'm wearing Hate

Now I'm wearing cancellation Yeah I can't I put the I literally grabbed this And put it on And got in the car And was like

Ah son of a bitch This is not a good look for me considering considering my line my recent alignments I was like I gotta get no so don't be surprised let him see this show yeah black is real he won't he won't it's a it's I'd have to show him the

cover art first for him to for him to locate it no I was I gonna say the yeah so don't be surprised if the first product offering is three XL tracksuits. Like, why are you doing this? Well, we, you know, we examined all the figures and quite frankly, it's the most profitable potential product. And, and one of us is out of a wardrobe because the other one couldn't not. Yeah. Jew it up. No, I'm just kidding

What other jersey burnings have There's been a ton of them like you Know particularly for like conservatives like you Can't watch Disney Because they're all secret gay or Secret pedophiles like because Vito's The CEO of Disney That's why I can't be here this tonight

He's off doing Disney things right A lot of people don't know that What did they boycott recently In the stock price drops That's why he can't be here this tonight. He's off doing Disney things. Right. A lot of people don't know that. What did they boycott recently in the stock price drops? Oh God. I don't remember, but it's everything. It's like, uh,

remember what was funny was remember when Dick sport after like the Miami shooting Dick sporting goods was like, we've decided that we're not going to like, uh, we're not going to sell guns anymore oh yeah and what was funny is i go i know exactly how this happened like some dildo in marketing was like you know firearms and ammunition is only like eight percent of our revenue yeah like nationwide so we could we beat eight percent from the positive publicity of coming out against guns. Yeah. And the answer was a resounding no,

because not only did the people who bought guns no longer shop there, but everyone who just didn't like the anti gun sentiment was like, now I'm not shopping there either. Yeah. And so they literally lost, like their stock went down like 30% in the first quarter because they were like, they were like,

we're going to take the high road and not sell guns. And like, and then everybody who likes guns was like, I'm not buying my fucking shoes there either. Now. Um, I saw it. And then,

and then you have Jersey, like I call it Jersey burning because anytime a football player, like when Kaepernick knelt, they were like, everyone's burning their Jersey. And then I can't remember what the most recent was. There was a, there was a player recently who people

were burning their jersey over the American flag yeah that's the American flag I mean isn't that a bit like cringe it is and it's also just like all of it you are like I understand burning a player's jersey because that one player maybe did something

or stands for something you know you're gonna burn a flag that represents everything that you've ever enjoyed in your walking life. Like you tell me you don't like any of it. None of it. You don't like any of the America. No, don't like diet Cokes. You don't like big tits, silk, fake titties. I'm pretty sure that was American. American. That's not American. Not well. We kind of perfected them though, didn't we? We like, we're the best tits we made.

Yeah. You know, what were big tits before America? Them Sagma gags from fucking Scandinavia? Yeah, yeah. Mexican, Mexican big titties. No, that's no good. The kind that looked the same from the front and the back. People need to upgrade their jersey burning.

Yeah. To like wrecking your car. No one's done that. That would be a great one. If I see people wrecking their Teslas. On purpose. Because Elon Musk. Right into the media. Yeah.

Fuck you, Elon. I'll show you. Yeah, the new one is Twitter. Liberals leaving Twitter because they're like. I got left on my own accord. Yeah. Yeah new one is Twitter. Liberals leaving Twitter because they're like, I got left on my own accord. Yeah. Yeah. You didn't.

You got. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I got excommunicated from Twitter yet again. Well, I think it was because. But you can't wear that anymore. I can. I got to get rid of it.

I don't want to wear my Adidas tracksuits anymore. No, I got to get rid of it. I'll sell it on eBay. I got some tailored like dark blue ones I got a red one I'll just take it to some sort of Israelite Hebrew thrift store

where they can still wear Adidas they have those right take it down to West Hollywood or the wherever it is on like Fairfax or Melrose or the kids coming is on like Fairfax and Melrose. Yeah. Or the kids coming by with the curls and the hat. Yeah.

Get like a van over there. That's what we'll do, Dig. We'll start a Jewish hypebeast show that's called La Hype. And it's just sneakers and Adidas and old Yeezys and it's all for Jewish kids. God damn it. Yeah. It's finally affecting me.

Yeah, the Jersey bird. See, the guns thing, I was like... I like how nobody's complaining about Amazon or... Well, that was what was funny about the Kyrie Irving thing is like everyone's like, he promoted a documentary and by the way, he just was like, I just watched this, check it out. He didn't be like, it's 100% the truth

and this is everything I like about it. He was just like, oh, I found this interesting, check it out out. He didn't be like, it's 100% the truth, and this is everything I like about it. He was just like, oh, I found this interesting. Check it out. The same way I would be like, oh, this documentary about how aliens came down and created everyone is interesting. It doesn't mean death to America. You know what I mean? And so he just posts it, and they're like, that's fucking anti-Semitic.

The idea that you could even be interested in an Israelite movie. They're funny. Means you hate the Jews, right? What are you going to say? And so he was just like, well, I'm not going to apologize. I didn't tell anyone to do anything or to not do anything.

Didn't make it. And they go, just you displaying it. And then somebody on Twitter this morning was like, why is everyone mad at Kyrie when Amazon Prime is hosting the documentary? And they're still hosting it. They're still hosting it. Anything else that happens and it's like gone instantaneously.

Like that movie, that anti-abortion movie was like gone, erased from every data center. And Bezos is like, leave it up, you know, free speech. Am I right? You know? Meanwhile, he's just like i get eight cents every time somebody watches this thing and i think i want to buy another you know spaceship for celebrities to go on just take a lap around the planet so are you gonna wear it you can't be wearing that with as much confidence as you were no i i literally walked out of the house i was

like oh shit i really shouldn't be photographed wearing this This is a bad look for me People are going to screenshot this and send it to my Look, this is your new best friend Yeah, let's not say best I didn't say best I'm second to Owen, remember? Yeah, okay

My other problem is Unnecessary safety warnings So you like Turn on your car And it says like hey don't Remember not to wreck your car While you're driving and there's a little Button on top of it

Yeah you know how you solve that There should be a claw that comes up In the middle of the seat and checks for a dick And if it doesn't find anything, the car doesn't start. The car doesn't start. Yeah. Solved. Don't give me all these dings and bings and bong.

Or there's like, if you're. Where's that coming from? Oh, the middle back seatbelt's not buckled with no one in it. Oh, I guess let me climb back there and rectify this. Thanks a lot. Threatening situation. Or if there's, if you plug your phone in and try to get out of drive mode

because it doesn't work, it gives you this paragraph with the tiniest text. It's like, don't fucking... Don't be reading this right now while you're driving. Don't be reading this right now. If you're reading this, it's like there's a monster at the end of this book. Like, I got to keep reading this sentence.

There's something good here. But I can't stop reading. I know how to read. I'm looking at it and I'm reading and it's pulling me in. Yeah. Well, or the weight limit on the front of the front seat for the seatbelt ding to go off. Cause they're like, well, a kid could be 20 pounds and I go, yeah, but so is my McDonald's order. So like, why do I got to buckle it? buckle it it's like all my books i gotta read to apologize yeah exactly communities um that the message that pops up and is like don't turn your headphones on too loud because you could have hearing loss i don't need that i thanks yeah it's too late and also like i i'm a big proponent of like like, the Darwinism of, like, no, no. If the sign is necessary, let God, go with God.

You know what I mean? Like, if somebody needs a sign that says, don't put this gun in your fucking mouth, maybe trust God to sort that one out, right? Let him, you know, we don't need the sign. Yeah. Just, you know, let's see what happens. The auto-save warning in video games. Hate it. Why do I need, yeah. Don auto save warning in video games. Hate it.

Why do I need? Yeah. Don't immediately shut your console off. Oh, I was going to do that. I was good. If you didn't say anything, that's how I play games. I go, I have my finger on it, even though I can't even turn it off instantaneously because it's a computer.

Yeah. I was going to go save that. Yeah. And then done. Yeah. What I would love to do is erase the progress of the level that I just spent two and a half hours trying to Figure out how to beat Yeah

I was like it might because what I do is I spent two and a half hours trying to figure something out and then I Do it and I make sure to end the game before the fucking thing is even all the way done Can't you like say something positive does every message have to be a nagging, henpecking, emasculating experience for me? When I turn on my car, does it have to preemptively tell me how I fucked up the driving today? Go all the way then. When I turn on the car to say, Hey retard. Oh, you're back. You're back for another, you're back for another trick trip nowhere. And you're nowhere life with people that hate people that hate you, huh? That would be if I put it this way if I start advising Elon the way I'm advising other celebrities now

That will be a feature in Tesla's, but it'll be for ladies Not getting late again, huh idiot, I guess you're driving like a real pussy right now Yeah, you're gonna let that fuck face cut you off like you're driving Like a real pussy right now Yeah Are you gonna let that Fuck face cut you off like that You gonna let this car Talk to you like this Yeah Yeah

I thought you said You were alright spider The seatbelt warning Auto save warning Yeah So many dumb ones So many dumb ones I'm trying

There's gotta be another one Have you ever been helped By a safety warning Never in my life. Never once. I've only ever felt offended. Most actually. Some of them even make me.

Don't eat this if it's too hot. That's one that I read a lot. Because I'll like. It's like. Heat this to. Internal temperature of 200 degrees. But don't. But don't burn your mouth on it.

Test it before you. Yeah. You know what we need? Is a microwave. You know how microwaves have the auto heat sensor now yeah can heat it goes until it it heats it knows it's hot yeah and then it keeps heating for like a minute it needs to have a lock on the door and use the same sensor so that it's cooled down yeah because otherwise i'm just going to and I might bust that open in the right state and pull it out before it's cooled, but I would appreciate at least a little haptic,

you know, resistance. Like, those pizza bagels are way too hot. Like, no, I'll let them cool down. Like, you will not. Yeah. You won't. This is locked for your protection. Right.

Yeah, and that's for women and children, specifically. Yeah. I actually think about this. I think that's why they were always's for women and children specifically. I actually think about this. I think that's why they were always like women and children first. And if anyone was like, why they were like, you know, why test it out? Cause shit, you know, cause when shit starts to actually go bad, if we leave the women and children on the ship last, they'll obviously die. Retardation. Yeah. Yeah. Oh no. It's sinking. What do do i do do i lay down on it should we all get in the water the ship is saying do we should we all get in the water

no the lifeboats you get into the fucking lifeboats what are the lifeboats the big boat that's sinking uh have you ever read about like the tit guys? That they sank it on purpose And that they tried to leave their wives on it Sounds like what I would have done But the stories are like I have a documentary about that on Amazon Prime If everyone wants to watch it On how the Titanic was just a mass murder

Why is it still for sale? Why is the fucking documentary still up? They take it off Prime for free Oh is it off of free now? No I was going to say if it was free they'd take it off and put like a $2 charge on there. That's like a half a million dollar fee for even talking about it. Which would be a real one of them thing to do, wouldn't it? Don't you think it's?

Oh, they're contesting our place as the chosen people? Charge a rental fee. And that's Bane's voice, by by the way not a particular ethnicity of a person i'm doing the bane that mask would be a lot bigger yeah they have it back here instead the titanic all the pipes are curled around the side The Titanic The pipes are curled around the side Oi Batman Oh shit

What he mean oh shit So the Titanic There's a lot of people here What do you mean? Oh, shit. Yeah. So the Titanic. There's a lot of people here at this event. Some would say an uncomfortable amount. Slightly too many. Which one? The football? Yeah, the football stadium.

The football stadium? Yeah, yeah. Okay. I mean, I know it's a game, but how about some leg room? He just has very petty complaints about why he has to exterminate all of Gotham. $17.50 for a hot dog? Hot dog? Oh.

And they shut down the onion thing because of COVID. $2 for relish? When I was a boy, you know, after our thing over there, relish was free. Don't you think they're kind of running out of juice on the, my,

on the my parents were in the Holocaust? Like, cause everybody, I heard that a lot. At some point, that's not, there's gonna be like one guy, like a Civil War veteran. Yeah. Right? That's why they need a new one.

That's what I'm saying. They're going to need a new one. Inevitably, there has to be a new one or else they'll lose all their social capital of complaints. You know what it is? Pretty soon, if it doesn't go this way, that's why they have to call everything anti-Semitic. We cracked the case right here. Do you think if Hitler got fined a half a million dollars, we would have avoided that? If he had lost his deal with Adidas, it would have been a real big deal.

If both of the Adidas and Puma founders, who were Nazis, teamed up and said, Hitler! Stop it! It's one Jew too many. And then the other guy busted in. Not so fast. The first 59,000 were too many, but the 60,000th is where we draw the line. And, uh, but no, what I was saying is, uh, that's why everything has to be anti-Semitic because they don't want the Holocaust to become like movies from the nineties where you like talk to a millennial.

You'll talk to a millennial and be like, did you ever see, did did you ever see Forrest Gump and they're like I haven't even heard of it and you're like you haven't heard of Forrest Gump it's the greatest movie ever made and they're just like I don't who's in it Tom Cruise Tom Cruise these songs yeah Tom Cruise the guy who was in Polar Express that's Tom Hanks that's Tom Hanks that lady yeah no that's a man yeah like I guess if they don't get another one, in a couple years, the Jews will be like, like, gobbles. And they go, you mean the little rat things that people keep in their fish tanks in their

house? No, general gobbles. They had a general dude of a gobble? Like a hamster? Look, things are getting too confusing. Don't you think? Yeah. I don't even know what's, I don't even, I don't know who's fucking who over anymore.

And I had a different sentence to say. You haven't seen Forrest Gump? I don't know that I have. If I watched Forrest Gump, I might not remember half of it. Might not even know. Like, I don't think this is right. Life is like a box of, what is it? Dildos?

Hammers? A box of hammers? Dildos? Huh. I don't remember. is right. Life is like a box of, what is it? Dildos? Box of hammers? Dildos? Huh. I don't remember. It's a real Mandela effect. I think there was a black lady on the bus station with him. That was probably some kind of racism.

Yeah. Yeah. He didn't give whatever he had to her. He didn't give her one of his hammers. And then that cat from Totoro will pull up like, well, I definitely didn't think this would happen. Yeah. Unnecessary safety warnings.

That's your second one. Cigarettes cause cancer. Oh, yeah, of course. That's stupid. Come on. Just get rid of it. Don't put a second penis inside this condom. Condoms are sick.

I wish they would at least do ones that are crazy. How come there's no warning on condoms that says don't use two fucking condoms? Yeah. Why isn't there a warning on birth control that says don't use two fucking condoms? Yeah. Why isn't there a warning on birth control that says don't take antibiotics that's like about this big? Yeah. Yeah, that's an actual one that can ruin lives.

Yeah. Stop giving men more anyway. Yeah. Yeah, don't. And then there's not warnings for other things. Like there should be a sign on a woman's vagina that says maybe don't put the whole thing in right away That would have fixed way more problems Than the smoking causes cancer signs

Yeah We don't have warnings on the thing we need There's no warning on liquor bottles either Nothing How do we get away with that? That's crazy There's no nutrition facts on there either is there? Huh

100% poison You know I talked to a friend recently He was over with his new girlfriend on there either, is there? 100% poison. You know? I talked to a friend recently. He was over with his new girlfriend, and I don't know why this came up. New girlfriends are always fun. Yeah, everyone's on their best behavior. All my old jokes were. I couldn't even imagine having to reform

all of this for a new person at this point. I think if something happens to mine, I'm just going to be like Kung Fu and just wander alone forever I'll just sit her down with a podcast Like here start from The first episode of this show She has to go through

Nine years of pod chronology To even If you can stomach any of this Then we can talk No and he said I don't know why I was like I said I'm getting too fat because I'm drinking so much. He goes, what are you drinking?

Uh, beer? And I said, no, whiskey. And he goes, well, that doesn't have any calories in it. I'm like, are you, what are you? What? What are you talking about? I hear it's keto too. Yeah, what are you, what are you, how did you get this far in life?

No, how did you drink as much as you do? Yeah. Anyway, that's my problem. What's your final problem? Um, I don't even I can't even read my... Oh, yeah, venue cancellations. Fuck's sake. I'm tired of it.

Yeah. This is what drives me nuts about it. So anybody who follows me or follows what I've been doing for the last couple months knows that we're having this issue now with venue cancellations. So Media Matters is going really hard on the fact that we're doing a comedy tour with Gavin McInnes. So they're like, he started white supremacy. And so inevitably everything he's affiliated with is also a white supremacy. Yeah. It's like, well, what it's a comedy show. He's just one of the scheduled performers. There are five of us. Sounds like a white supremacy to me. No, one of them's a

Mexican quadriplegic classic supremacy. Uh, but yeah, but this is what drives me nuts is like venues. They cancel these shows because they get bombarded with like left-wing activists calling and being like, we're never going to patronize your venue. Meanwhile, they're like nine States over. Yeah. And it's like, they don't ever stop to think that like maybe canceling our show might make the people who actually live in your neighborhood hate you. It's kind of like when, when I came out and railed against women for the Texas abortion ban and was like, good, no more abortions for you whores, you know, something along

those lines. And then food Network was like, we condemn his speech. And it was like, did you not think that like maybe most of your viewership also doesn't like abortion? Yeah. And they got ratioed into oblivion.

And it's just like venue cancellations. It's just like, and the other thing too is like, I don't know who talked them into thinking that they were able to do that. I don't even know how they get a hold of them. It's so hard to book any venue. Yeah. Like, it's so hard to get a call back.

Yeah, I can't get these places on to give them money. Yes. And yet, somehow, you're trying to take it away, and you can get them right away. One venue I wanted to rent in North Hollywood a long time ago, the bartender just pulled out a cigar box. She goes, here, we'll put your name on a piece of paper and put it in here, and the owner might contact you. And it was, like, full of little pieces of paper. I'm like, is goes, here, we'll put your name on a piece of paper and put it in here and the owner might contact you. And it was like full of little pieces of paper.

I'm like, is this like a fucking joke? Why did you even do that? Why did you even do that? Whatever. Yeah, and then of course it's like they have these very corruptible business practices of being like, what we'll do is, Bane voice,

what we'll do is weane voice What we'll do is We'll cancel your show Seven days out And then keep your deposit money Oh yeah Tell about this Yeah So like

They basically were like We're gonna keep it And then because you didn't Espouse the life history Of everyone on the venue On the lineup We perceive that as you Eluding us this just happened

to you yeah this is for the new york show yeah and they were like that's deceit because you didn't say gavin was on the was the founder of the proud i also didn't say he founded but no he said he was on the ticket we literally were like we're literally like here's the website link yeah for the we booked this in august and we, here's the link to our website. These are all the comedians. I go, we're all controversial comedians who have been canceled for various things. And they went, do you have this $7,500 to deposit? Fine. We don't care. And then now they care and they go, well, you didn't, you didn't tell us that it was the proud boys guy. And I go, that's cool. Did rapper that you had on thursday who killed a guy in 97 tell you about that and is that cool or

you know you guys had i hate that they have so much power yeah and it's just like then you spot and they just go nope like we're just not gonna do it and we're gonna keep your money have fun getting a lawyer and making us do the right thing. I love that everybody, every time it happens to me, some moron gives me the extremely helpful tip. Like, well, you know what? What you should have done. Oh, yeah. Okay, yeah. What you guys should have done is, here's the thing.

Next time, tell us everything you've ever done in your life. Yeah. And give us a week or two to run it over with our wives and girlfriends, our wait staff who we pay minimum wage to who run our business. Talk us out of it. Yeah. Do everything you can to encourage us not to take your money and literally do nothing. Like that's what's so frustrating is like,

who's bringing your bar $10,000 on a Thursday? Yeah. Who's bringing your bar $10,000 on a Thursday? Yeah. Like, do you really care that much to like not be bothered by activists that you're going to be less racist? Yeah. If anything, you're making it worse. Yeah.

So what I said about the whole Kanye thing with the with the people he's criticizing was like he literally was like, hey, is anybody taking a look at this group of people and their actions? And they said, how dare you even suppose that we would collude in a way where we would destroy somebody for saying that everyone destroy him for what he just said and did. And it's like that scene in the matrix with the Oracle when she, he walks in and she goes, don't worry about the vase. And he goes,

what vase? And he knocks it over. Yeah. The vase is the Jews. And he goes, what vase? And he knocks it over. Yeah. And the vase is the Jews. And literally like, so if you go on Twitter, all you see now is black people going like, I know nothing about Judaism last week, but now I hate those motherfuckers.

And it's like, you guys made the thing where it didn't exist previously by addressing the thing the way they said you might. All you had to do was say, that's wild. Yeah, you should have just been like, God, I can't believe in 2022. Listen, Kylie, let's watch that. Let's watch it all together. You tell us what parts you liked.

And it's like the most insane horse shit you've ever fucking heard. It really is like the, no, no, you should just do what we do all the time, which is people like us go, the best way to beat bad ideas is just with good ideas or ridicule. So like, let him say the crazy shit and ridicule him or just go, well, here's all the reasons why it couldn't possibly be real. First of all, it starts out with a spaceship. Okay. So that kind of, now we're in the realm of science fiction.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you think a spaceship is real and it delivered the black juice to the pyramids and the pyramids were the map to get back. And then we took reading away from you guys. And then that's, yeah, it's Stargate. Everybody knows that James Spader is the real Moses and Kurt Russell was Cleopatra. It's like, yeah, ridicule with bad ideas. But the idea that you're going to, you're going to censor this, this whole swath of

curious people from even looking at it and you make it so taboo. It's like you make it sexy. And now people are going to be like, what's this fucking anti-Semitism about? Like, it's like when you're a kid and your parents are like no pot and jerking off and you're like it's like that did you ever watch i that's all movie references for me did you see what you remember walk the line when he opens the door and he's like what are you guys doing and they're like we're smoking weed and he goes oh drugs drugs are bad he goes i couldn't possibly i'll get addicted goes, it's not addictive.

He goes, oh. And he's like, well, is it going to hurt my body? There's nothing medically damaging about it at all. Is it going to make me have a hangover? There's no hangover. And he's like, I kind of want to do it now. And he's like, it's the safest drug there is. You saying anti-Semitism is the safest drug? No, that's not.

See? I see what you did to me You Kathy Newman me like I'm Jordan Peterson Well you know Anti-Semitism been around a long time And what is this thing that Jordan Peterson Is doing when he talks now

He's doing this He's turning into a leprechaun Yeah it's very strange He'll literally be sitting there and he's like Well you know, uh, antisemitism is bad, you see, but then you pull it out and and when you unthread it,

when you unthread it, it actually, you know, can tend to sort of make sense and you're like, what the fuck are you doing with your hands? Yeah, I don't know, because he realizes he's the Messiah. Oh, yeah, that's what it feels like. Yeah, I remember he was like

when they interviewed him and they asked him, like, Olivia Wilde made her character in her movie about you as some sort of cult leader for young men. What do you think about that? And he's like, oh, I sure hope so. You know? He's got this very, like, Minnesota dad sentimentality where he's like, you know

you take the young men and you try to make them, you're darn tooting. I make them, I make them, I make them make their bed. No, she's very much alive. Yeah. That's probably the, that's what happened. That's the. Tune in next week, everybody, where Dick's biggest problem is Jordan Peterson's wife

still being alive. Okay. So wait, how many venues have canceled? We had two in Chicago, but we ended up sliding into a VFW at the last minute. I remember they canceled when you were on my show. Yeah. They canceled that Sunday and it ruined my whole day. And then the next, and it goes through this thing of like, I literally left Chicago and

I was like, I'm starting to feel like God is on our side because we pulled this one out of our ass. And then, and then, you know, like, uh, the next day, um, or the next one, this, this one happened yesterday and I was like, God damn it again. And so I spend like half the day sulking and pissed and like punching the air. And, uh, and then the next day I was like, all right, get me on the phone with everyone I've ever met in New York and let's get a new venue. Yeah. And I, you know, and then you just have to get to a point where you're like, if you cancel, I'll fucking kill you. No. Yeah.

I love that people are like, well, you need to write it in the contract that they'll pay you a million dollars if they cancel. Like, yeah, you know what? I'm sure that that once I've finally like roped them in. No. That I've been. Yeah. Oh, can you just put in this thing? Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Yeah, I'm sure. No, I've finally like roped them in. No. That I've been. Yeah. Oh, can you just put in this thing? Yeah, I'm pretty sure.

Yeah, I'm sure. No, I can't do that. I'm pretty sure what made Suge Knight so effective was how well his contracts were written. I'm sure that's why people honored all the terms of his deal is that he had such lock tight legalese in his paperwork. Well, you're going to have to pay me a million dollars because you can't. I mean, it's right there. I don't believe it was ever the violence.

It was the well-worded small fine print that made Suge Knight such an effective manager. Not the running people over in a drive-thru at all. Yeah. I also love I could listen to it all day. These sports announcers talk about

like how affected they are by. Oh God. Antisemitic. Oh God. They, the way the mea culpa they did with Kyrie, you know,

he's a very talented player, but as far as I go, Dan and Dan, you and you know, you, you, Dan, Dan,

you and I have been calling games for how many years now? 46 years, right? And you know, there's no bigger defender of the fucking Jews than I am, is there, Dan? I just can't take it anymore. You let all the people know that while that, and it is kind of funny, because you're almost waiting for them to start calling him racist slurs in defense of the Jewish people. Yes, I am.

They're literally like, listen, I don't care what this fucking gigaboo says. You don't believe you thought I was going to say the other one. Yeah, still pretty bad. It's just like, wait a minute. Did you just call him a slur while defending the Jewish people? They put more weight on mental health crisis. Every time it started like, well, he's having a mental health crisis. Now it's like, this mental health crisis,

sir. I'm like, I think you're like, you're kind of leaning hard onto that one. Yeah, I love how you go like, this guy who thinks he's a woman might be mentally ill, and they're like, how dare you, sir, use a mental illness to describe somebody's identitarianism.

And then you're like, this guy has some questions about Judaism. Hit this fucking Nazi. Get this black skinhead out of here. This guy's mentally retarded. You're like, you can't even you're not supposed to say retarded anymore. Yeah, but he is. He's mentally ill and it's also

his fault. The mental illness is self-induced. Yeah. Yeah. And it will spread. Well, lots more people will be mentally ill

and it will be their own faults too. And it's our fault if we don't stop. Like, what do you guys think mental illness is? I've had a, I've had a

total of like probably three hours on the phone with him and about a half an hour 45 minutes in person What did you guys talk about? All kinds of stuff Business a little bit

Specifically And then about being cancelled And what that's like And you know The experiences of it Did you Lex Friedman him? Were you trying to tell him that you're the same guy? No, no, no

Did you see that interview? That was so cringe And also Lex Friedman fucking sucked That it was so cringe. And also- Lex Friedman fucking sucked. That was so bad. I hated it. And I hated that it's like, you know what it is?

And this is one of the things that, one moment on the call he goes, I'm liking you on this call right now. But one of the things I said to him, because I had just watched the Friedman interview before we spoke the first time. Yeah. And I said, you know what I fucking hate?

Is that these guys bring you on and they're like, I just want to give you a platform. And then they all have to get something out. Like, they're all like, I'm going to be the one that gets you to apologize. I'm going to be the one that gets like, I'm going to get the soundbite. It's going to be my show. And I go, I fucking. The great Lex Freeman who stopped the Holocaust part two.

Yeah. And I go. Kanye's revenge. And I said, I was like, yay. When you didn't give it to him, I almost came when you were just like, I done said to shit fucking 10 different ways now and it's not enough for you. So what do you want me to do? Yeah. Yeah. And I, so it's like, um, but yeah,

we talked about cancellation and then he laughed. I go, I go, you know I'm about the shit I said because I got canceled before I made any money. I go, you know, I'm about the shit I said, because I got canceled before I made any money. I go, I did it the dumbest fucking way you could possibly do it where I got canceled before I made any money. And he's like, yeah, that's not smart. So, uh, but yeah, it was like, we talked about that. We talked about, um, some business stuff and, and like cancellation and then like movies. Yeah.

Like I'll just randomly be like, have you seen this movie? He's like, like no what's that and has he seen gremlins too i don't know you want to ask i'll find out for you dick wants to know who's dick um he had lex free i love how they're all trying to like uh manipulate him into um doing dog whistles i i fucking panicked here. I got to tell you this. Steven, who's one of the guys we're working with for the show. Yeah. He goes, dude, I didn't even know that was an option.

Can you give me a $2,000 non-refundable deposit? And I looked down and just saw that was like, motherfucker. What venue is this? He's fucking with me. Shout outs to Steve. I love how they're all trying to like manipulate him into dog whistling When racist dog whistles have been like the worst thing you could do for the last six years Yeah Like if you say like oh man the media really fucking hates Trump

They're like oh media? Yeah Who exactly are you talking about? And Kanye's like man the Jews fucked me over And they're like well can you say the media? It's like you guys have been fucking nailing everybody who said it like that right they weren't even saying what he's saying and you're saying you're asking him to just say it like the people you've been excoriating who did not mean what he's mean what he means right now yeah so fucking annoying it's insane it's it's like it's it's

a damned if you do damned if you don't and then the thing i appreciate appreciate about him which is like the same problem i have is the compulsion to just go nuclear and go, well then fine. I'll just go on in a Nazi uniform and I'll say all the right things since, since our actions don't mean shit anymore. And all that matters is our words, right? I'll go on with the shit on and the this, and I'll go, I denounce all antis-Semitism. I refuse to support it. I don't say it in German. So they know I mean it. Yeah.

Yeah. I like when he came out. Then it's like, well, you know, I just learned something that when I said Jews run the media, that is considered anti-Semitic. Yeah. I just read that in Wikipedia. Like, okay. Did anybody want to refute that?

I thought, did you see the clip that's going around that everybody loves where it's like a Norm Macdonald joke where he's like, I'm not going to say what kind of doctor it was that prescribed me to medication. It was a Jewish doctor. It was like the kind of comedic timing that, like, stand-ups work their entire life to be able to lean into. And this motherfucker, you know what? It was a Jewish doctor though. Like I watched that and I go like, you know,

what's so frustrating is like in three months, Kanye West could be the greatest comedian that ever lived. Like the sensibilities are there. His timing is there. And I can tell you challenge Trump, Trump not being on Twitter has really made me forget him. And I can tell you some of the jokes

we've sent back and forth to each other, the sense of humor is there. I do feel a bit of... I do feel like a badge of honor that I sent him one where he's like, that's too fucked up even for me. I was like, that's right. There's still places this guy will go that you won't.

Because I have nothing to lose, and you have everything to lose. It makes sense. I'm going to say, go ahead and take my two-bedroom in Burbank. Come get it. Pry it from my cold. What, are you going to take my woman away? Oh, no. Oh, no.

You know, I've, you know. He'll turn you into a zombie. Yeah. And you'll never see her again. Oh no. I can't imagine getting that text. I can't even, it's like also the kind of like, like the power trip you got to be on to like text that to the most in writing and to the most famous black guy in the world. I mean, that's literally like getting on a horse in a hood and just riding outside of his house in Calabasas.

Are you in there? Out of your little cabins, I say. Do some push-ups. I literally would have responded to that and be like, Jesus Christ, can't you just burn a cross in my lawn like a normal person? You fucking psycho. Less specific.

Yeah. I mean, Jesus. So that kind of stuff is like, it really opens up your eyes to and i don't even think like just the cabal of of the underbelly of hollywood like that's why ray trainers that's why ray donovan sucked as a show was because it didn't go deep and dark enough like you know it was just like i'm a hollywood fixer this girl has anorexia let's get her a cheeseburger and it's like that's And it's like, that's not what it is. That's not what it is. Do the episode where a guy kills a hooker and you've got to chop her up and put her

in a lake. Yeah. Like do that one. And then he's, and then he's Justin Bieber or whatever. They like, yeah, that's what it should be. Don't you trick me with these lame fucking Hollywood fixer stories. There's personal trainers out here mk altering people yeah yeah it is that's what it is yeah i'm gonna i have friends and by the way then somebody sends me so this is what's weird is like when it leaked that i'm like working with in

his circle with people which people were not at My detractors were not happy about, but then all the Kanye blogs started following me. Like, what do you know? I'm getting DMS from all these like Kanye, um, like, uh,

curation pages on Instagram stuff. Like, what do you know? What do you, what do you got on the inside? And I got a half of mine to just start sending them on wild goose chases for my own entertainment. Like, I don't know if you know this,

but he's actually not a human. He's a've seen it he's a cyborg yeah do you remember the scene in terminator 2 when he cut his fucking he did that with his dick dude when i saw him he took it out and it's all metal so you know there's something. Okay. What are our problems? Metal dick. Mine were black Israelites. Yep. And what was my other one? Unnecessary safety instructions. Yeah. Unnecessary safety warnings.

And yours were? Jersey burning. Jersey burning. And venue cancellations. Venue. Regular people probably deal with this kind of stuff With like weddings all the time Where they're like we can't do your wedding on that date

We have another wedding And so we're going to move you to this date And we're going to keep your deposit The whole deposit thing I'm not ever giving a deposit to a place ever again Yeah If I have to trust you You have to trust me

I'll give you money When your place lets us have our thing The idea that We need a deposit because we don't trust you Why don't you give me money Under the good faith understanding That I'm bringing you business How about you give me a finders fee

For leading revenue to your desolate Fucking empty hovel of a business Now it's just very They have too much power These venues They have way too much power Yeah I just want to go like I wonder how much

How much righteousness rings the cash register For you this month Like do you think all these Antifa that are calling you Are going to show up and buy tickets to Greeks on Ice We have to This is what we have Next time you have a show You got to give some people Give like me going to show up and buy tickets to Greeks on Ice. We have to. This is what we have.

Next time you have a show, you got to give some people, give like me the name of it so that I can fake like I'm Antifa or Media Matters. Like, if you put Josh Denny in Game of Thrones, I'm going to kill you. I'm going to show up in your house. And then they're freaked out. It's like, buddy, I'm just kidding. Yeah. I'm just kidding. So then when I actually have the like-

This actually is Josh Denny. Yeah. And I sound thinner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay'm just kidding. Yeah. I'm just kidding. So then when I actually- This actually is Josh Denny. Yeah. And I sound thinner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. We're talking about more jokes. Yeah. Like desensitize them to it.

Yeah. Just really- Like boot camp, right? Like, you have only seen tears in queer's confidence. So they're like, okay, I'm just going to yell at- Beat them with bars of soap in their sleep. Yeah. Or what you do is like you could fake abduct them and hold them at gunpoint.

And then when they piss themselves and they start praying to their God You fucking fell for it No, you gotta rape their wife They won't really believe that they're about to die unless you rape their wife first Then they go well, no one would rape my wife and not murder me and the kids, right? Okay, biggest problem that show to vote on the problems in live. Biggestproblem.show to go to the show in Long Beach. Yeah, and if it goes well, we're going to try to do this on a reg. I don't know if we'll always do it in the cool backyard spot, but.

That is a cool spot. Vito's going to be doing stand-up. Yes. Are you going to do stand-up? No. Really? Three is plenty. You're going to host and just bring us up?

Yeah, I'll just host. So I'll have like little jokes. Shit us in between. Yeah, these two was terrible Remember the joke that he said this one. Oof. Yeah, that was a bad one. Yeah You know, what's funny is you joke about that, but I know you're at least gonna do it with Vito I know you'll at least do it with Vito. He's gotta be the oh should he go Second I think he should close okay Yeah because he's actually the biggest problem In Long Beach that night right I mean He's the he's figure out what's

The biggest problem yeah I mean yeah I'll go second he can go last And then we can jump into the podcast So okay we'll Put big spit up first because no one's gonna Fuck with him he's six foot a thousand He is big It's good to fuck with him. He's six foot a thousand. He is big. It's good to have a guy like that in the entourage.

Yeah. All right. Here we go. Let's do child support. Voicemails and we'll do super chats. Wow. I think you finally found the biggest problem in the universe. Child support made even worse.

If you live in a no-fault state like california where you could be happily married and your wife goes and fucks some other guy hides it from you you find out oh you guys got a kid okay well not only are you gonna get divorced she can take every fucking thing she wants including including child support, regardless of why and the reason you broke up with. Actually, maybe that's the biggest problem. Fuck. You think that happened to him?

Pretty sure it's this guy's biggest problem. That came off in the tone a little bit of the voicemail. She can go, fuck some other guy who may or may not be your brother Richard. Not me. Could be anybody. The hiding it makes it worse because then you think like,

well, maybe she thought there was a chance of reconciliation if she was hiding it. No. No, it's just the women's complete inability to be accountable for their choices. That's more than like, like, I like that you think that they put any thought into it whatsoever. Then it's just like, I did, we did a segment on big time sports at e-sports show this week where I was like the audacity of women to be married to the men who are the greatest who have

ever lived in their respected profession. And then just be like, I think I'm ready to do better. Like Giselle Bunchan or Kim. It's like, yeah, I know I'm great. I'm married to the most proficient and prolific rapper who's ever lived. The most influential human being in the last 50 years. But you know what? Maybe I'll fuck a guy from Saturday night live who doesn't even do sketches. Yeah. It's like, Oh,

and that's women, women like Giselle Bunchan. I know I have three kids by this guy, and he's the greatest football player to ever football. But he wouldn't stop playing football. Maybe there's something better? Like, you could literally hand women a... They don't want to be with any of us.

No. That's your theory? Yes, they want to be old and reading books and talking and going out and having brunches with a piece of bread and not eat the piece of bread and just talk to their idiot friend about another person. Do you think gay guys started as like the ultimate revenge? Like, we should just fuck each other.

I really believe that we're not compatible and then they were just like and then guys are like this ain't that bad dude that's the thing we would all be gay if we weren't such cowards if we just stop making fun of each other like it's just it's gone way too far this joke that we're playing on women has gone way too far okay we don't get along yes don't we don't get along we don't like we. We don't get along. We don't like, we don't even, the longer you're together, the less you have to pretend that you like the same retarded shit.

And now we're teaching young men and boys that they need to have things in common and that you're their best friend and all this totally retarded nonsense. If you think about it, that's why pussy feels so good is because it has to. It's the only way. if they were worth the shit there'd be spikes and pine cones inside of there and you'd be like well this is unpleasant but it's necessary even the hall like well what do you like in a girl like stop right there just stop nothing

there's nothing for me there it's like nothing yeah i mean that's so funny i i can't remember if i said this on your show last time but uh we were sitting down one night and I don't know if you guys play this, but you'll be like watching a movie or something. And she'd be like, Oh, that guy's on my list. Like of list of celebrities I could cheat with, which women are on your list. And I was like, I can't think of a single one. I can't think of a single celebrity woman. Oh yeah. All mine are just porn stars. Yeah. Mine are, this is how bad mine is, mine are conservative female influencers whose entire

Instagram is just like them in a field. And I just go like, well, at least she's good with silence. My list is my Instagram. Just go look at it. I follow them. But like, everyone's like, if they were giving giving away like you could win a lunch with a celebrity. I'll be like, I'll bomb the restaurant at that lunch.

What am I going to talk to Jessica Alba? I don't even understand female celebrities. The whole all of it's for there's not even a single one that looks cool. I came up with one. This is who i came up with i said uh maybe deborah ann wall and i don't know if you know who she is she was the redhead on true blood and she was in daredevil on netflix and the only reason i said her is because her husband went blind 10 years ago and she didn't leave him and i thought that little thing might make her human enough for me to enjoy her company

for maybe an hour of discussion and conversation. It's not over yet. A woman has to be a saint for me to be like, maybe? That's how awful the rest of them are. I do think that is the one thing that bugs me more than anything else. And it'll probably be the probably be I'll think about it

More and more As I'm older Is there's just A lot more of you Motherfuckers are gay A lot more Than you're letting on And I see the gay behavior

Turn into weird Straight behavior That I don't like With dudes? Yeah Oh this is like I know This is like

We've manifested a problem We write this one problem Yeah Fake straights Fake straights Okay this is actually My problem Dire straights That's why they wanted The money for nothing

And the chicks for free Yeah They weren't gonna do Anything with the chicks Their natural inclination To be Normal men Which is mostly gay

With the With the occasional Yeah the straight guys Are probably some of the Gayest guys you know Right right? What if we all sucked each other's cock? Wouldn't that be hilarious? So how much would you how much would it cost for you to get butt fucked

by Mike Dyson? Everyone wants to go first. That's what you're talking about all day. You have elaborate emotional connections with other men that you're worried about. Like you're always gabbing on the phone in text groups. You don't do this with women. You're gay. You guys think Steve likes me? Oh, he's getting

used by this bitch. You're fucking gay! This is what you're doing all day is supporting elaborate and deeply rooted emotional connections with other fucking men! Correctly! Yeah. Correctly! This is the correct way to be! Yeah. It's gay!

We should all be gay We all are gay I don't remember the chapter in your book Is this the new book? The whole book is this The entire book The subtext is that you're all fucking gay It should have been just called

Just suck it already That should have been the name of it I'm not gay I have Oh yeah Who's your like closest confidant Well my bro like Al John I love my dad you know

What about your wife like oh man You know what instantaneously Sets off my gaydar I wonder if this Is true for you you have that guy friend Who talks about sex with women Way too much and you're like this guy's Gay he's like you ever he's like you know What I like about fucking puss is and you're just like dude

We're at a we're at a Starbucks right now ordering in line How about you table this for another time? There's nothing in me that wants to know about this Yeah, you know what I like about- you know what I like about Blasting ass and you're like what like we're 40. Why are you, you still fuck? I don't want to have like pretend imaginary sex with this woman. With you? Yeah. She's never sucking your dick, bro.

Like, it's like, why? We shouldn't be having. Axe throwing, I think, is some of this homoerotic behavior bubbling to the surface. Axe throwing. Yes. Yeah. Like all appeared. People get together and they chuck Deodorant and body wash

At each other Yeah you remember Yeah Yeah hey that's pretty gay Yeah that is a weird like That's like a date thing That people do now Like if you watch reality shows

People go on a date They're like We're going axe throwing Like what are you supposed To learn about a person How much not to anger them In the heat of an argument Marvel movies

Gay Yeah that's a lot of Men arguing each other About their feelings in the heat of an argument? Marvel movies, gay. Yeah, that's a lot of guys. Men arguing each other about their feelings. Like, they're not really saving the world, guys. They're just arguing about who's on top and who's not. Like, they're just having relationship issues. All of this shit. Yeah, I was the only one who cheered at the end of the first one.

When everyone got vaporized? I was like, yes, the good guy wins! Yeah, if you really think about it it he was the most rational person like everybody's just being irrational women yeah like you can't kill half the people yeah but if i don't you'll all eat yourselves to death and fuck yourselves to death and deplete the resources of your plan and i'm by the way i have a stone where i can literally look into the future and show you That's what happens Yeah but it's wrong though cause me

Cause I'm one of the snappers That's why It was a whole gay thing It's like hey look over there guys That's just my theory Yeah well it's a pretty Fake straights everybody Maybe the biggest problem in the universe Bonus problem that's just my theory. Yeah. Well, it's a pretty fake straight. Everybody, maybe the biggest problem in the universe.

Bonus problem. All right. Um, okay. I'm done with these. Let's do Josh. Thanks for doing the show, man. Thanks for having me.

It's always a blast. I hope Vito is having a good time at his, uh, Midwest mom convention or whatever he's at. Nice. Go to biggest problem. What was your, uh,

it's called the, what's sports, your sports coach. Oh, big time sports city sports show. Big time sports city sports show. Nice. Go to biggestproblem.show What was your, it's called the, what's your sports coach? Oh, Big Time Sports City Sports Show. Big Time Sports City Sports Show. Yeah, it's on a we had a, I just uploaded a clip of us actually two weeks ago talking about Kanye buying Parler and making it a

no Jews allowed social media which was like hilariously forward looking for us. Alright, I'm gonna read all the Super Chats. I'm not reading any that are negative about Josh Denning, so fuck you. Thanks for the money, you fags.

You're wrong. You're wrong for $4.99. Vito the AP just published an article on it. Why are you telling Vito shit? He's not here. Mike Hunt, a guy who once wrote Wash Me on Dick's car. Dick swore revenge. The guy who wrote it is now a banana

That's true Dummy Potato, is there a ginger stinger? Porkboy23, hey your Favorite Beanie Man, Pim Tool Just put out another aggressively boring song That his guests will pretend Oh, how bad is Tim Pool's attempt to be a musician? It's the cringiest thing ever, right?

Yeah, it is And by the way, this is Josh Denny saying something is cringy If I'm saying it's cringy it's bad Tim Pool new song Let's hear it The last song was just an intro Has there ever been a guy attempting to be a front man with less front man energy Dude I think that

The Ricky Gervais You know the British office When Ricky Gervais spends all his lawsuit money on that On becoming a musician? Yeah, on that one song, If You Don't Know Me By Now. And it's him in a white shirt trying to act sexy, but funny. Yeah, yeah. Temple is worse than that.

It's more cringe than that. Yeah. David Brent. That's the character. David Brent. If you don't know me by now. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay.

Did he put it out on his... It's a Civil War, guys. I don't know if you know this, but I feel like we're headed to a Civil War. Check this out. He just pulls up an article. And yes, I'm just doing Ryan's impression of Tim Pool. Shoutout's Ryan Rivera, who does the best impressions. Oh, this was 13 hours ago.

Do you want to listen to a little bit? Yeah, let's do it. He has a stinger intro for his song? Usually you don't see that Usually you don't see new musics have like A stinger for the music By the way Genocide subtitle losing my mind

I mean, is this not trend jacking or what? I mean, really like You've been waiting to drop this one? Oh, come on. I'm for anyone who is against Tim Pool. This is just... There's some stuff that's so much deeper than politics and money. Like, this is so

bad. When the prank happened, Tim Pool was one of the people that reached out to me, and he was just, like, just literally in my DMs, like, what happened to Gavin? I'm just like, not even a hello. What happened to Gavin? What happened to Gavin? What happened to Gavin?

I just wanted to reply back and go, who? He listened to one of your songs and then he killed himself. That would have been great. I didn't even know he had songs at the time, but I would have. Okay. He was listening to one of your songs and then he just killed himself. Oh, this is the song. instead of living Tell me what to do instead of dreaming Let me die for you If I could see the darkness in the minds

and that tainted eyes I'd make it right We're marching, we're marching to the beat of genocide Oh, come on! He's giving the news as the lyrics of the song. But he is a news guy. He is this guy.

But also, like, wear a suit, you fucking dildo! A guy in the news desk would be wearing a suit! You can't even be troubled to break the mold of Tim Pool to take the fucking beanie off and put on a suit? Oh, these poor bandmates of his. Like, day players are getting paid to do this? If you like this music or listen to it, you are a bad person. The current enterprise of institutions Made to control your lives

We're inside breeded Concocting all the lies that we use To control your mind Who's weak? From control reality We can't find your way from this To get away from it Mic's not plugged in

I've lost my sight If this quicksand has gone over my eyes Oh yeah, look really raged out while you're singing like a fagite. Who is he? He's got this face and he's like Who is he like? Who is this satirizing? Well, it's like

vocally, it's like ripping off Green Day and Oasis and mixing them in the worst way possible. This is literally like somebody goes, you know what would make a great smoothie is Nutella and shit. But he is He's like the biggest most

Emotional Outrage Pornographer purveyor there is Like the regular news His demo is Like very dumb People who just need to be upset all the time Has he been swatted in one of his music videos yet

Cause I'm sure that that idea hasn't been gassed. It will be soon. I'm sure he'll be swatted any day now. Okay, David Gomez, adding a dollar for every week for Brother Richard's Call to Prayer. Let's see how high it gets in Shala if you play it even though it isn't a juicy 20. It's 50

for the Islamic Prayer. Sarah P., my cat is sitting by me and very disappointed. It's our first live show and he was looking forward to hearing Vito's sexy voice. Oh, sorry, your cat. We'll have to see him next week. Noam Chumpstein, another Destiny PKA podcast with you. I don't know what that means.

Thank you. Whoops, whoops, whoops. Oh, Destiny and PKA podcast. Yeah, that would be great. Seth Johnson, biggest problem. That's a troll one. Oh, cool and P.K. Podcast. Yeah, that would be great. Seth Johnson, biggest problem. That's a troll one. Oh. Cool. Thank you for not killing yourselves.

You're welcome. Mike Hunt, weebs are Irish samurais. JDHawksDX, everyone's favorite character from Near Automata is obviously 2B. Fair enough, I guess. Wait, wrong fat guy. That's a funny one. The Monkey Bros, good to see the other white meat minority on the show. Way to bring diversity to the show

dickerson pop quiz this money's for veto and they gave nine cents if he's stupid uh somebody uh john riffs anybody who hates josh denny is a pedophile that's true if stupid oh they're saying something silly another if stupid is that a crank if he's stupid those are all super chats that are all trolls that like seriously you literally spent all your money tonight to try to get a troll read on this show? I love this, too, that people think that they're like, if I can just get this through to Dick, he'll stop being friends with Josh Denny entirely. Yeah, I hate you guys. And then Denny will have no wit and then he'll kill himself. Like, what is the end game here?

I don't know. My kind of Joe Rogan compare up Dallas Buyers Club to taking Ivor when he had Matthew McConaughey as a guest. Oh, okay. Rogan is controlled opposition. Yeah, I don't. I'm not a big fan of Joe Rogan. Whatever.

If he's stupid for more money, I assume he's going to charge all this back. Can we please see what the total of those is? Two, seven, ten, twelve, about? Are we almost done? Nope, there's another fiver. Okulevich, obligatory, veto, must wear the hijab. She must. Daniel Dinaldo, heard about the live show.

Where do I go for tickets? Live.biggestproblem.show There you go I'll give you guys One more second To get your last thoughts in And then I need to have a beer My beer power

It's a Friday You gotta You gotta Friday At some point Who are these podcasts For two bucks No one misses Vito Wow Carl

Well he does Have his finger on the pulse Of everything Podcasts and entertainment. So he's like literally like tapped in. Yeah. He's all the way through him. He's like that.

He's like the Metatron of the pod verse. Yes. His foot curled up when his first time he jacked off to the end to the podcast. Yes. He got it backwards there. His foot curled in on itself And his hair stuck up Yeah

And that happened to Carl No one misses Vito Wow Poor guy But I can't help but agree No I told Josh he should do Vito It's a problem

Just out of spite Okay Goodbye everyone Thanks for listening