The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 69

Episode Date: December 17, 2022

Starving Artists, Billionaire Bootlickers, Holiday Parties, Blockbuster Nostalgia

Wow, look, I got ready all slow and still, like, right in the nick of time. That's beautiful. Just got it. Nailed it. We already got super chats, even. Ooh! Ooh! Ow!

You're listening to Wolfman Jack on WKRX 499. The mix is in the howl! We got a full moon tonight, radio fans. Okay. You kind of miss drive time radio, don't you?

I do, yeah. But I don't because I listen to Ralph every day. It's not the same. I mean, I get it. It's good in a lot,

it's better in a lot of ways. It's better in a lot of ways. But you're right, it's not the same. It's good in a lot. It's better in a lot of ways. It's better in a lot of ways. But you're right. It's not the same. It's not the same. Okay. I like the UI. I feel like I need to customize my background now.

Well, you can't. Well, I could like hang something behind me. Wait a minute. Is this going or what? I don't know. I'm going to get a nice super killer poster behind me. I'm so glad you reminded me Not the new one Not the new one

What do you mean? Oh no What don't you like about The new super killer fan art That someone made that they love The super killer kills superheroes I have to say something real Like

What? It's so bad What is? I love the super killer kills superheroes. I have to say something real, like, like. What? It's so bad. What is? Okay, fans? Because. They embrace the premise of your dumb comic. No, no, no.

How could you? I have never had, I have never had like a, like a stronger, like couldn't stop laughing and so mad that I was laughing Like reaction where I was just like You guys are gonna fuck this up for me So bad Fuck what up he kills superheroes And what's the hot new superhero

I know What other hot new superhero Could there be than Isam It's so bad It would be one thing if he was It would be one thing if he was breakout hit it would be one thing if we fighting I saw What obviously you have to tell a story in one panel? It's fan art Vito. Okay. Sorry if it doesn't live up to your narrative narrative expectations, but

Someone look try to their hardest justifying it. This is so bad. I'm praising it. This is so bad. Look, I'll show it on YouTube. Hold on. Can we even show it on? Yeah, whatever. I don't know. It's not working. Oh, there, there, there. I gotta get rid of this.

What's wrong with that? There's a number of problems. Isn't that what your guy does? He kills superheroes. So that's Isam. That's Isam that? There's a number of problems. Isn't that what your guy does? He kills superheroes. Stop. So that's Isam. Stop. That's Isam that Eric July made. I'm not going to be able to make it through this episode if you keep doing this.

And your guy, Superkiller, whose whole job it is to kill superheroes, has kneeled down on the back of Isam's neck. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. And he says, he's holding a little baggie of something. I don't know what it is.

And he says, don't do drugs. He's also giving you a good message. This is not official super killer artwork. This does not represent the super killer artwork. Of course it's not official. It looks great.

This does not represent the super killer fan base. What do you mean? It's the first fan art of super killer, isn't it? Jesus fucking Christ. What do you not like about this? I hate you guys so much. I hate it. I hate you guys. This is like...

It's so... It's like the worst thing you could have done was this. Like, I cannot think of a worse fucking thing than super killer knees kneeling on the neck of Eric July's eye sump character while holding a baggie of fentanyl and saying, don't do drugs. Yeah, I think it's a clear reference to certain real-world events. Oh. And the worst part, here's what happened today on Twitter. There's like this one. Uh-oh, here we go.

Vito's Twitter. All right, all right, all right. There's this one lady, and she's like one of the head editors at idw publishing and she goes what comic are you most excited for in 2023 and i said i'm excited for my comic super killer and posted a picture and the someone below it said i am also excited for super killer and posted my character kneeling on a black man's neck with a bag of fentanyl. And I go, well, I'm not getting that deal. I'm not getting a publishing deal from IDW.

If you guys are going to spam this fucking shit. Not that I wanted the IDW deal, but still, it's not a good, it's not, it's not good. I'm excited about my comic. Can you not post it to like Other comic professionals And like people in the industry Because I worry they're going to get the wrong impression What impression would that be?

He kills all superheroes No matter what Isn't that the deal? He doesn't kneel on their neck What if he had to? I don't No He doesn't kneel on their neck. What if he had to? I don't. No. He wouldn't?

No. Oh, my God. I'm going to jump off a cliff. This is terrible. Anyway, who even drew that? Whoever drew that. Look, I do appreciate. What is his name?

It says down there. I don't know. Hold on. What? Jehet did it? It's an excellent picture. Oh, he got a bunch of smiley faces I'm gonna go ahead and give him a smiley face

I appreciate your enthusiasm For the character I just worry you may have gotten the wrong impression About who he is and what he's I don't think so That's his job Is to kill superheroes isn't it So it seems like he understands

It exactly I'm banned from the comic industry Is to kill superheroes, isn't it? So it seems like he understands it exactly I'm banned from the comic industry forever Before even getting one book out What do you think? You're like a nice guy That's gonna make a nice comic A little bit, a little bit, you know Talking to a couple industry professionals

Getting some tips Next thing I know My superhero is kneeling on black men's necks for alleged drug crimes. It's not a good look. Don't you think the super killer thing looks cool though? Let me pull that out.

It's a great picture. I mean he really nailed it. Like that how it's like all Yeah it's all like gangstery. That's pretty cool. That's cool. Okay. It's not that I don't appreciate the technical talent that clearly went into this. Oh, yeah. Do you want to start the show?

Yeah. Let's do it. Jesus Christ. Biggest problem in the universe. Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe. The only show that ranks every problem in the universe from picky fat chicks to anti-privacy dicks. I'm your host Dick Bastian. Joining me as always is Vito Giswaldi, the creator of Superkiller.

Here in studio. Hydro drugs, ladies and gentlemen. It's not an anti-drug thing. It's not. He doesn't support police misconduct or anything of the sort. But he is kind of a policeman. He's not, no. Oh, he's not? Maybe kind of. Oh, alright. Depends on how you want to look at it. Oh, well. Let's just say again

this is not official Super killer Yeah Product This is a fan work And I The art doesn't even look the same I disavow it on so many levels

On more levels than you can imagine Oh man Should we get right into the God damn it Veto's Twitter What? Veto's Twitter Vote it up

Veto's Twitter Vote it up We'll get Twitter. Vote it up. Veto's Twitter. Vote it up. We'll get there eventually. What happened? We'll get there eventually. That Melanie Mack wouldn't call in. She's not going to call in. No, she said she wouldn't call in.

Oh, you didn't see that? Oh, really? I've been bothering her and she finally responded to me. She said she'd think about it. Yeah. And then I think what happened was you changed your profile picture to a picture of her. Yeah, which is about the creepiest thing you could possibly do Why is that creepy? It's funny. No Women don't like that. I did it for a couple hours

It's cuz it's funny cuz then it looks like they're arguing with a different person. Yeah, they don't like it like they don't like that Yeah, but like having their different person. Yeah, they don't like that. It's like having their identity raped. Yeah, a little bit. I'm desecrating. And then what? Did she call me like an incel or something? Hold on.

I'll get... Let me get her quote for you exactly. Well, should we set the stage for why Melanie Mack is mad at me? Okay. Am I going right into the... Well, I mean, as long as you're... All right. Well, let's do... Veto's Twitter.

Veto's Twitter. Vito's Twitter. Vito being Vito on Twitter. Here it is. Pulling it up right here. Vito's Twitter. Shut up. This is the part of the show where we look at what Vito's doing on Twitter. Vito on Twitter.

Are you going to keep the fucking theme going all the time? Vito's Twitter. Okay. Detail on Twitter Are you gonna keep the fucking theme going all the time? Okay So this is Melanie Mack Yes Says woke ideology is satanic

Yes I was scrolling through YouTube Okay See that? And I found this lady Melanie Mack Who I've been aware of You're looking for something to get pissed off about though

Well it popped up in my feed I'm on YouTube I didn't like search for it Okay And it says Woke ideology is satanic And of course it's a video About how drag queens

Are being commanded By literal Satan To read to your children Yeah The video has all these like Bible quotes And whatever the fuck And she's a

She's a like Christian She's like a cool Christian influencer Right Cause she hates The drag queens And the grooming and the whatever else Yeah okay

And I said well Are they not from Satan Nothing is from Satan Nothing on this earth is from Satan Like I understand Having an issue with the drag queen Storytelling or whatever But we can discuss that

Without bringing in supernatural beings and being like, well, there's a literal evil man who lives in an alternate dimension that commands human beings to do shitty things. No. Okay, got it. That's silly. I think all the satanic panic shit is silly, and that's all I said.

I said the satanic panic has found... Well, you didn't say it like that, though. I said the satanic panic has found its brainless lady spokesperson. See, you say brainless quietly when you say it, but on Twitter, when you're reading it, brainless is like, wah, wah, wah, this brainless lady spokesperson. I didn't capitalize it. You know, I didn't draw any extra attention to what I said. And I just, whatever.

And I went about my day. I'm like, Melanie Mack doesn't know who I am, and I don't need her to know who I am, I think she's an idiot And she makes stupid videos about how there's Literal demons Commanding men to do evil to each other Which I think is a silly premise Yeah, demons Like semen demons

I don't believe in demons That's what makes men cheat on their wives, Satan Not them I think that this whole drag queen thing, and I do agree. I've seen some of the videos of some of the stuff and I go, why would you bring kids to that? I get it. But I think we can have discussions about it without going,

well, the reason they do it is because there's an evil dark lord who has wormed his way into their hearts and they must be, you know, have their heads chopped off in the town square. It's funnier with Satan in it, though. It's not funny. The satanic panic stuff off in the town square. It's funnier with Satan in it, though. It's not funny. The satanic panic stuff is genuinely worrisome. It's funnier. Like,

grown human beings should not be worried about Satan. Alright? They really shouldn't, though. I know, she's a woman, yes. I am making fun of a woman who probably believes in ghosts and everything else. Astrology. And astrology. Alright? I don't know why that's so controversial

that all I said was, here's a dumb lady on YouTube. Brainless. Brainless. Well, okay. Next time, what, brainless goes too far? You didn't call her titless though.

No. Okay. Then she says, thanks for sharing my video. Well, this is because Chrissy Mayer then came at me. Fighting at Chris. I didn't do anything to Chrissy Mayer this time.

I was talking about Melanie Mack. Veto. God damn it. I posted this thing. Somehow Chrissy Mayer sees it and she goes, why didn't you tag her in your tweet? And I'm like, because I don't have an interest in talking to her or discussing anything. Because that's something shitty. Why would I tag her?

I don't want to call it to her face. If anything, it's shittier, I think, to tag her and be like, hey, fuck you. Look at me. I'm making fun of you. It's like, no, it's just like a throwaway tweet. Especially a nice girl. So then I have Chrissy Mara. Hot, too.

Chrissy Mara has like 100,000 followers. All her followers come to me and they go, well, you didn't tag her because you're a coward. You're afraid of her, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, Chrissy Mara has 100,000 followers? I think so, yeah. What is their favorite joke of hers? I don't know. Huh. Probably her, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, no. Chrissy Mayer's 100,000 followers? I think so, yeah. What is their favorite joke of hers? I don't know. Huh. Probably her, dude. You think if they,

you think if you asked them, survey says? I think the number of them who've been out to those local bar shows she does in the middle of the fucking whatever. Joey's Pub and Grill. Oh, yeah. Doing, you know, a set during happy hour or whatever the fuck. Okay, so then you said, you want to read your thing here? Doing a you know a set during happy hour or whatever the fuck

So then you said you want to read your thing here. She said thank you for sharing my video This is of course after all her followers and dogpiling me all day and I go you're welcome crazy church lady That must be horrible. Well, I don't want to deal with it. That's what part of why I didn't taggers I don't need a hundred thousand fucking Jesus freaks Coming in going well actually Satan's a real problem, and you got to deal with it. Well, I've wanted her to bring Satan in. You're going to have her call in and bring in Satan? Yeah. I mean, apparently, she had a big problem with you.

Yeah. And you're saying Satan doesn't exist. So she's probably, maybe Satan's in me. She should have made the case. She should have made the case. If you're not willing to call into a podcast To stop Satan Then how serious are you about this? I don't think she is I don't think she is serious

You're right Thank you for sharing my video I said you're welcome crazy church lady I hope you and your boyfriend Jesus find happiness That was a nice thing I said That was not That was not like I didn't say like fuck you you stupid cunt

I was like alright well fine you know Alright She says I have found happiness in Jesus. Thank you again. And I said, delusions are comforting. I know. And that's it. That's the end of it.

Leave me alone. No, but it wasn't the end because then you changed your, because then I told her to call it and she said, I'll think about it. You know? No. I'm good at talking. Then I changed my name. You probably missed this.

Then I changed my name to Frank Pellegrino Worst bookie in America Parody account Because then it looked like Chrissy Marr Was calling out her boyfriend For making fun of Melanie Mack Which was funny to me Because then she's like why didn't you tag her

And it's Frank Pellegrino Her fiance And it looks like they're having a little lovers quarrel I'm like well that's funny And that's like a little bit of retrel. I'm like, well, that's funny. And that's like a little bit of retribution for sending all your stupid followers at me. Okay. And then Frank sends me these desperate direct messages going,

bro, I have nothing to do with this. Why are you dragging me into it? I'm like, cause it's funny. I don't see what's funny about it. I'm like, it's funny that it looks like Chrissy Mars fighting.

Not a surprise. Yeah. It's fighting with her Booker boyfriend. Yeah. She tried to get me. Like how you're upset right now. That's what's funny about it. But he was really upset.

It's funnier. I was like, man, it's just a little joke. I'm going to change it back in a couple hours. Nobody's going to ruin your career. And if you're really worried about it, Chrissy could obviously delete her tweet that looks like she's fighting with you. But she's not going to do that because she's trying to get me. So, yeah, then I had a long discussion with Frank Pellegrino where he goes, Chris, you could obviously delete her tweet that looks like she's fighting with you, but she's not going to do that because she's trying to get me. So, yeah, then I had a long discussion

with Frank Pellegrino where he goes, well, you understand this is why nobody likes you, right? And I'm like, no, everyone loves Vito. Actually. Well, most people don't like me. It's because I'm liberal and I have liberal ideas and I don't believe in Satan. I'm like, I don't know why that was the controversial thing of the day

is that I go, it's kind of silly to take what I think is a very crucial real world problem That we're trying to deal with Whether or not your kids are being groomed or whatever the fuck else Fucking Satan Well, what do you think Satan has to say about it? That's not, should not enter into the conversation at all And the fact that there are literally like a hundred people coming in and going I think she has a point about this Satan character

I'm like, we're just lost as a society. Who cares? So, do you think, should satanic panic just be a problem here? At some point it will be. Here's what she said. She said, I'll consider it. And then you started doing a bunch of picture shenanigans. Yes. Because it's funny.

And then I got her today, she said, about you. She said, he has gotten enough clout from me as it is. Oh, no. I got so much clout from her. Why would Satan need clout? Yeah. Well, I guess I'm just going to spread the word of Satan, bitch.

And now you can't do anything about it. You could have stopped Satan. Karen, you, that's like your big thing. But if you don't even have the balls to step into the arena with Satan's greatest emissary. Yeah, wouldn't all of Christianity be like a psyop invented by Satan to take control of dumb white people? That would make a lot more sense. It seems pretty obvious that if I was Satan, I'd be like, yeah, well, I'm just going to invent Christianity. Like, convince everybody that, you know, I'm God.

Like, here's the most important thing that God wants you to do. Nothing. If anybody pisses you off, you do fucking nothing. Right? And my armies of darkness just march all over the earth. Seems obvious. And you can do whatever you want as long as you feel bad about it later. That seems like some Satan type shit.

All right. Well, I'm sorry for- Wait, wait, wait. I'm not done. He has gotten enough clout from me as it is not going to give him any more attention he doesn't deserve okay he never had any intention to reasonably debate in the first place that's correct y'all i'm not going to debate whether or not satan exists with you but you are you already are debating it i'm debating why it's it's ridiculous to bring up satan okay. But if we're going to get into

well, here's what my magic book believes, there's nothing to discuss at that point. Y'all have fun though, that's what she said. I will have fun. That was Vito on Twitter. Vito's Twitter. I don't even think I come off looking bad in that situation.

Vito being Vito on Twitter. I saw a stupid video when I tweeted about it. That's the whole point of Twitter. You still have little things But you're always saying like How do we get more guests on Vito being Vito on Twitter And then you pissed her off Well I didn't know we wanted Melanie Mack as a guest

Sure Vito on Twitter Yeah we'll have anybody as a guest Doesn't mean Should I just be nice to everybody Cause we need guests At some point yeah Okay

Once you've been Once you hit them with something mean Then you turn on The charm to rope them in Well that's what I did to Frank Pellegrino That's what I did with Destiny hit him really hard up front And then I was like I love this guy Look at him look at this guy

Alright Chrissy I think you're really funny and you should come on the show That's too much And have Frank come on cause he's cool too I sent Frank a link To my stand up but he didn't respond should come on the show. That's too much. And have Frank come on because he's cool too. I sent Frank a link to my stand-up but he didn't respond. Oh, okay.

Speaking of which. Yeah, go ahead, please. The stand-up is now available on the Patreon. It is a Patreon-exclusive clip. You'll be able to see the comedy stylings of Stephen Torres,

Carl Spitali, Josh Denny, and of course, myself, Vito Gisualdi With special host Dick Masterson Finally up It's finally up

You get it you cry babies Yeah well I don't You whined enough And now you get to see it We always meant to put it up At some point We just had to like Figure out the logistics

But I will say this Yeah Only one joke was cut Oh And Whose joke? I'm not gonna out anybody So you're getting the full experience

Wow Except for the part where we all chanted the n-word That's the one part I had to leave out for YouTube terms and services Okay No but you get the whole thing It's good Patreon.com slash biggest problem Or just skip to my part which is like an hour in

Okay Tell us what you think next and and read do veto's material what do you mean do my material burn it burn it everywhere steal my jokes and take them to clubs fuck you guys okay here we go here we go the war on anonymity one that's mine. The female dating strategy podcast was second and Hitler was last. I do have to

say I understand a lot of people were like well Hitler's dead. It's a solved problem. Yeah. The specter of Hitler maybe was what I was more getting at. Nick Fuentes raised an interesting point in his debate with Alex Jones where he compared all the Hitler hating to like Big Brother

where they show that picture on the screen and everybody boos. Yeah, the five-minute hate. Yeah, two-minute hate. Two-minute hate. Don't you think it's kind of like that? Like anytime somebody says Hitler, everyone's got to go like, you know what, I hate Hitler. He was just the worst. And then someone's like i me too but more even more well i do think that

the human humanity really wants we're a hateful species yeah yeah so we need these like totems that's why you know like all right i didn't like the new star i didn't like the star wars movie right but then some people like were really like my whole identity is hating That fucking Star Wars movie yeah And I'm like well I don't want to go that far But I see the excitement of why you go That far like it's just fun to hate It feels good

And it makes you feel like a better person Yeah kind of like Melanie Mack's followers Coming flooding into my mentions And using me as a You know a totem for this mythical satanic pedophile ring that they've built up in their heads because they can't find a real one but they have me they have a real loneliness yeah well that's what they should be working on but instead they fawn after some e-girl who tells them jesus is going to make it all all right

so one of them when i tweeted at her i was was like, hey, come on the show, Melanie. Call in and like, you know, talk to Vito. He's like a nice guy. This guy immediately popped up and goes, she doesn't like confrontation. So maybe you should phrase it. And I'm like, what the fuck? What is this? Who's this guy?

What is this creature that's just like wiggle this way out from under this chick's fucking Twitter crack? Maybe I, maybe I do. Do I just need to be like, do I need to level with these people and be like, listen, I think you're really dumb, but like,

you know, okay. I still want to talk to you. I'd bring her on. Yeah. You gotta, you gotta have a second gear. I'll switch into after you hit him with the brainless brain dead shit.

You gotta go like, you know, actually I'm a very reasonable guy. Yeah. I pull that move sometimes. Okay. Why not this time? Because it's a woman and I hate her and I want to make her feel bad.

I can't argue with that. I want to make her feel bad about herself. Jimmy says, Vito is slowly making me like him show by show, being the friend that everyone's girlfriend hates. I respect that. That's very true johnny average says veto missed his calling as a middle school teacher incredible holocaust lecture never heard anything like it before you need a good holocaust lecture now and again every year every

year i thought i was in 12th grade in high school and i was in social studies learning about the holocaust again and i thought to myself Man This is the last time I'm gonna be told The same Shit about the holocaust I gotta really No I gotta enjoy this one

It turns out Every year It never fucking ends Well it would end If fucking guys like Fuentes and Ye Didn't Alright

I guess we're gonna do Another lecture series No it wouldn't Yes it would No it wouldn't It's your fault Tito it never ends Don't you understand?

It never ends. It could end. You guys keep pushing the envelope. G8 says, Benzos turned Jordan Peterson into a neocon. It's like a different person. Okay. Yeah. He is.

He's definitely different from when he started. Do you think it was the Benzos? I don't know if it was the Benzos? I don't know if it was the Benzos. I think it was just he's a guy who, a lot of these guys start off too idealistic. And they go, oh, I've experienced this sudden rush of, you know, fame and clarity. Clearly it will only be positive and everyone will love me and respect my intellect. Everything I do and think is amazing. Yeah. And then I realize like, hey, a lot of people are going to hate you and you're going to

like just kind of push through it. The Bill Murray quote, everyone gets famous and turns into an asshole for two years. Yeah. And then it either sticks or you get over it. That's very astute. I haven't heard that quote, but it makes sense. Yeah. Let's see.

David. Oh, yeah, here we go. It's Pyron Charshak. Twelve rules for life isn't just Peterson saying clean your room 12 times. And the rule that clean your room is both literal and metaphorical is for is actually set your house in order before you criticize the world. Yeah, but I disagree with that. Yeah, it's retarded. I don't think you I think you can recognize

A thing that is wrong Without necessarily The whole like You gotta practice What you preach It's like no You might not even have the Resources or abilities

To practice what you preach But it doesn't mean What you're saying Is fundamentally wrong We have sayings We've got a saying For every level And context of sanctimony

Yeah Possible Like Set your house in order Before If you live in a glass house every level and context of sanctimony possible. Like, set your house in order before you... If you live in a glass house, don't throw stones. And also, it's like, well, the wisdom comes from the mouth of babes. If your shoes are made of wood, don't float down the river Styx at midday.

Yeah, okay, whatever. Yeah, fortune favors the bold. Like, okay, well, what is... A stitch in time saves now. That's kind of the opposite of what you just said, you moron. I think we just like talking, which obviously involves a little more than cleaning your room. You guys wouldn't have a show if you cared about that, though.

So I get it. Is being... I like when people explain to us why we're being disingenuous. Is being a condescending fuck part of the 12 rules? I get that for comedy Like fuck you I get that you guys are so mad

And I'm happy I'm having fun Emasculated by Jordan Peterson's fan base But that doesn't mean You gotta like Why don't you Just kill yourself

Asshole God if I had Jordan Peterson's fan base I'd be miserable I don't want to deal with that These guys coming up to me Dad I cleaned my room today Alright son Yeah

Buy my next book Speaking of fan bases Mine is Bill My first problems Are we ready to get to it No We're not?

Okay Cause I have a very exciting segment Okay Which I like to call Vote It Up Vote It Up Vote It Up folks here in beautiful los angeles california there's so many problems and so many updates to problems dick problem you brought in was not enough Shawnies.

Remember that? Yeah, I remember that. Well, we got a new problem in the similar vein. Not enough Trumpies. Trump's new line of digital trading cards are now sold out. All 44,000 cards, which depict the 76-year-old as a cartoon cowboy, sheriff, race car driver, and other fantastical outfits all sold for $99 a piece for a total return of over $4.3 million.

What? Did you buy a Trumpy dick? Oh, and I'm pissed. Because I saw one where he was at the wailing wall. I think that's a pretty rare one. Man. Most of them suck. If you go to OpenSea, you can see them.

I would kill for that one. Oh, really? Yeah, most of them are just him in a suit, pointing or wearing a funny hat. I would like that too, though. These are the Donald Trump NFTs. Although, I think the floor is already at like $1.30. Like $1,000 or $130? $130.

So you would have made a little bit of money. I don't buy NFTs to make money. I buy them to hold them forever. Shut up. No, you don't. You would have held a little bit of money. I don't buy NFTs to make money. I buy them to hold them forever. Shut up. No, you don't. You would have held your Trump forever? I just think they're neat. I just think they're neat.

Yeah. Either way, I think we both missed out on Trumpies. Fuck. If you like that problem, it's currently sitting at number 298 with negative 246 votes. Fuck you. Fuck everyone. People did not like Shawnees. But a popular problem, Dick, was no-knock raids.

Yeah. That's a big problem. Well, maybe not so much so in Indiana, where police officers are currently speaking out against a new law that gives citizens the right to use deadly force to protect themselves against a public servant who oversteps his authority. Oh, thank you. The new law adds an amendment to the state's 2006 Castle Doctrine Bill,

making it legal to shoot law officers who attempt to illegally access your home or car. Isn't that exciting? I'm going there for Christmas. I'm going to Indiana. I try to bait the cops in. I'm going to put a mustache on. There's all sorts of drugs and stuff in here. There might be something in here.

There's like Satan. He was in there, I think, doing a bunch of like fentanyl. Oh, actually, no, you got, you run, run away from that.

Doing a bunch of like acid. What's the least harmful drug there is. Oh man, you got to get in there and they come running in without a warrant and you can just booby trap it like a home alone. I'm going to do home alone three with cops only. I'm not sure how the castle doctrine applies to the movie.

Strings going jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock. Coming down from the ceiling on strings. Merry Christmas, you filthy animal. Can that be the movie we make? Home Alone, but it's just tricking cops on entering your house in Indiana. But they're actually cops this time.

Not just a wet band. It's pretending to be cops. Yeah house in Indiana. But they're actually cops this time. Not just a wet bandit pretending to be cops. Well, yeah, in Indiana, you know, to protect yourself. God, that would feel so good. And they're the first state that specifically allowed the use of force against the police. Let's hope it applies to more states. They're like, oh, sir, we've had a

SWAT call. Can we come in your house? Did you say... Like he house? Did you say? It kind of sounded like he said. Did you say yes? And then the second they come through the door, the whole line of machine guns in a circle. All right.

Not saying specifically that you should kill law enforcement. You should land a helicopter on my house, too. I see you got it flying around. You have the right to defend yourself, and thankfully, Indiana approves of that. No Knock Raid's currently sitting at number 49. Don't forget to vote it up. Oh, shit. Sorry. It's all right. I just perfectly set up the stingers, and you always fuck up the timing.

Well, because I was doing that blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, timing because i was doing that this one's good and short put a little echo on there you love the stingers folks dick you're the winner Bring us in Problem number one Billionaire Billionaire Bootlickers Billionaire bootlickers Or billionaire blowjobbers

What's better? Probably bootlickers These fucking people man These fucking people like Yeah Tripping over themselves To defend Elon Musk Yeah

Cause he got Yelled at by Cause a homeless guy Yelled at his car Was that what was happening? I didn't watch the video He was like trying to get a guy License plate guy yelled at his car. Was that what was happening? I didn't watch the video. He was like trying to get a guy license plate or was that something different? Who cares what was happening?

Like, it's really, that's what it is to me. If a billionaire has a problem, then I just want it to be worse. Yeah. Like, even Trump. Like, well, you know, you could have just done a better job. But then they, people line up. I've seen a lot of people saying, well, you know. Hundreds of them. Could have just done a better job. But then people line up. I've seen a lot of people saying, well, Elon Musk has the right to protect his privacy and his location.

And his fucking magical. Then invent an invisible jet, dude. If that's what you're selling, you got billions of dollars, then go ahead. People are more worried about Elon Musk's invisible plane not being, like, invisible. Yeah. People are more worried about Elon's plane getting tracked from what, like, it needs to be hacked to be tracked. It's a big fucking plane flying around. They're more worried about that than they're worried about, like, oh, I don't know, everything. Like, $600 IRS reporting, the CIA spying on literally everything

Facebook working with the fucking government To stop any kind of information or anything about anything The fucking central bank digital currencies They're more worried about Elon Well, Elon's very important to these people I mean, he runs their Twitter Because they're bootlickers Because they're temporarily embarrassed.

It's billionaires now. It's not millionaires anymore that America is full of. People who, what is it, an H.L. Mencken quote? I forget who said it. Temporarily embarrassed millionaires? Yeah, I've heard that. You've heard it? It means like everybody in America thinks that they're just like,

they are millionaires, but they. They haven't gotten all the way there. They're just a little short. Oh, soon but they haven't gotten all the way there. There's just a little short. Yeah. Oh, soon, soon. I'm a little bit embarrassed. So they all identify with the billionaire capitalist class, even though they are some fucking moron arguing about shit.

They don't, they don't eat. They pretended to start understanding today. Well, to put this in context uh a lot of people might not know that elon musk's jet was tracked by a twitter account young by a young man right 20 yeah 20 20 he's probably been a couple years since he started that account right but i don't know yeah regardless he would track elon musk's jet where it was elon musk told him hey can you take that down he said no he said i'll take it down for five grand. The kid said, make it, give me a job or give me a Tesla

and I'll do it. Which would have been a great deal. I don't know why he didn't just give the kid a Tesla. Because he's a fucking asshole. Yeah, he's an idiot.

That's why. He is a weirdly like a penny pincher for a billionaire. And anyway, now that he's taken over Twitter, Elon Musk, who said he would not

ban the account that tracks his private jet. Yeah, then he banned it. And he made up some retarded story about a homeless guy yelling at Lil Nas. A homeless guy Who said he would not ban the account That tracks his private jet Yeah, then he banned it And he made up some retarded story about About a homeless guy yelling at Lil Nas or something Lil Nas X was blowing him in his limo Somebody triangulated where that video was taken

And it's like right down the street There's no fucking airports around here, bro Oh, shit So he's just lying Unless you're landing your jet in the helicopter pad in Pasadena. Well, he says, you know,

it's a safety concern. My safety is in danger if people know where I am, even though legally the FAA has to publish all flight records. Like, anybody can get that. Everyone knows where everyone is. It's called the fucking white pages, dude.

It's like, just go to their house and then, like, wait. Isn't there just, like, a website set up already that, like, house and then like wait for isn't there just like a website set up already that like tracks it anyway like isn't this just like a weird stop gap measure it's a plane flying around in the air yeah okay it's not it's not under the ground it's not a secret fucking fireplace floof spell like harry's. Yeah. It's a gigantic plane. Well, he's banning anybody who reports on his plane now. Because even journalists who said, you know.

And that's fine, okay? But people are defending it. People are defending it. That's what drives me nuts. Yeah. It's like, why did you, the amount of money that Elon Musk made while you were exerting energy to defend him online for no benefit to yourself yeah i don't really follow the the argument for defense is it's like i'm like i don't know there's like

paparazzi reporting every time a celebrity gets off a fucking plane like what has happened did somebody ever like celebrities are reporting their own goddamn yeah they're tweeting it all the time you figure out where anybody is and triangulate it. Remember when Shia LaBeouf kept doing his art installation and they used the stars to figure out where the fuck it is? Yeah, so is that not funny anymore? They were using jet contrails. Fucking jets.

Again. We know where you are. I guess I just don't understand why people are... I guess you're right. It is temporary embarrassment. Well, when I have my own private jet, I don't want an account to tell people where I am. I don't want someone attacking my kid outside of my private jet. Which didn't happen.

Nobody attacked. Did somebody attack him? I don't get it. Bro, do you know how many homeless people attack everybody every day in LA? You're right. He just had to experience average LA life and he didn't like it. Yeah. And he thinks he deserves special treatment um it happens with it happens with all of like um like bill gates

and uh what's his name the robot mark zunisberg they're like oh we're gonna give 99 of our money to you know charity and everyone's like oh wow i'm a fucking great guy i mean that's pretty good no it's not pretty good why not because it got like oh okay oh i'm gonna give all my i got windows and computers everyone knows about windows computers right it's fucked up all your lives and fucking crashed like reports and shit sure was good in general but also a lot of problems right like yeah okay i'm giving all my money away oh are you giving it back to us? No, I'm going to give it to Africa. Fuck Africa. Everybody bought windows.

You just get their money back. That'd be pretty cool. Just give it to me. Yeah. I could do a lot of fun. No, I'm going to make actually mechanical mosquitoes that don't work, and I'm going to fucking do. I don't think he's doing that.

Is that what he's doing? Yeah, he tried to sterilize mosquitoes to end malaria. It didn't work. I don't think it worked. I don't know what happened. I know he was trying to fix the drinking water, and everybody accuses him of drinking poop. And they're like, oh, Bill Gates wants to drink poop. And I'm like, that's not what's happening.

Shut up. I think Bill Gates is doing some good stuff. You know, he's trying to... Here we fucking go, you two! Yeah, well... No, you got to ride them into the ground. No, it's good. It's not good enough.

It's good that he's trying to get clean drinking water and cure diseases and make sure everybody gets vaccinated. That's good. I have a disease of not enough money. Yeah. Well, maybe bring it up to Mr. Gates. Why not give it back to people who earned it? The middle class.

Maybe the people in Africa earned it. I don't know. Maybe they worked really hard banging some rocks together or whatever the fuck they're doing over there. No. Africa doesn't even exist. It's a very Eurocentric view of things. I think those people deserve a leg up. A leg up?

Why? I don't know. So they can build a nicer hut, I guess. They just siphon, these billionaires just siphon out all of our money, and then send it to Africa for no... And they're cockamamie schemes, sterilizing mosquitoes. What if out of Africa, something like, you know, they take all that money and they develop giant robots or something.

Yeah, maybe it'll be the next Wakanda. That'd be great. Who's going to do that? King Chick Challa And the rest of the Magic Africans Not everything is a comic book Vito

Darn Um Anyway that's my Do you have any problems With billionaires Do you have any that you like Well I kinda liked Elon Musk for a second there

Back when I thought Like oh this guy Like really wants to like You know Deal Get space travel And clean energy and all that. Yeah. And I think I,

again, I think he's one of these guys. I think he's like a Jordan Peterson where he went, well, I'm just like a nice guy and I want to help everybody. It's going to be great. Everyone's going to be stoked on me. And then he got online.

Everyone's like, how come you don't let everyone unionize? Well, if we had a union, I wouldn't make as much money And I couldn't do as much Yeah exactly Yeah It's always about

Well like on the way up And then they get to the top They're like well I gotta Give this money to Africa I gotta get it I can't give it back To these people He's not giving it away

Make my words When he's like 70 He's giving that Fucking money to Africa Maybe I was stoked on him For a while I think he had some

Very good ideas You know building high speed rails And whatever else That's a good idea Yeah it's a good idea It would be great if we had a high speed rail Well they're building one Between San Francisco and LA

It's just like a complete quagmire of a god damn project What are you going to go up to San Francisco Yeah facilitate business Between our two major hubs Are you going gonna go up to san francisco yeah facilitate business between our two major hubs are you gonna go up there i would probably use it as a for commuter travel i'm not saying it's gonna like make my business life are you gonna commute up to san francisco if there's a lot if there's a rail that goes up there i'd go i'd go every other couple months or something you never gonna make going to make hundreds of

trillions of dollars train so you can go up there every other three times a year? Other people would use it for stuff and it could probably carry cargo as well. I don't fucking know. Put it on a fucking boat. Is a boat faster than a train? Who cares? Just keep sending them.

Anyway. I like that you're picking apart one of the myriad of things that I was excited about. I hate high-speed rail. Really? It's interesting. Every other country's got it. I don't get why everybody likes it. Because every other country has it, and it's great.

Why is it great? Because they can go around. You can just go to play. Imagine if I could be like, hey, you want to go to Vegas, and we just hop on a train, and we're there in two hours? We could hop on a bus. That sucks. You want to ride a bus to Vegas?

Yeah, the mega bus. Chinese people sweating all over. They're going to put Chinese people on the train. Who do you think builds? Yeah, but the train's going to be so fast that you won't even notice them. How fast do you think? The bus takes like, doesn't the bus take like five hours? I don't know. It's got Wi-Fi.

I'm not going to take the bus because I'm not, I can't take drugs on the got Wi-Fi. I'm not going to take the bus because I can't take drugs on the bus. Or the train because there's going to be a bunch of cops everywhere. So I have to drive no matter what. Okay. I get it. Where are you going to sleep if you take the train? You don't got to sleep. It's so quick.

Where are you going to sleep when you get to Vegas, I mean? Oh, you're right. I got to bring my car. Yeah. All right. Well, that's my problem. Great problem, Dick. Thanks. I got to bring my car. Yeah. All right. Well, that's my problem. Great problem, Dick. Thanks.

What's your problem? My problem is starving artists. Oh. Now, Dick, we've been talking a lot about AI-generated art. Yeah. And I see the potential. I think at first I was a little, and I'm still, I understand the protests of sucking some of the human element out of the arts. Yeah.

But also I've come to go, well, as a tool to generate imagery and assist a skilled artist could improve the workflow. It could add speed to it. It could add, I think you'll still need some level of technical skill. Maybe there will be some who use AR art alone, but I think that there still will be room for artists who can utilize that technology and incorporate it into their existing workflow. Okay. Other artists and the majority of the internet seems to think, no,

this is just Satan. And I am resigned to making less money and being miserable because that's what true art is. And that's. Oh, they like being starving? I think so. I think their psychological profile requires them to be miserable. Because I see all these artists, and this has existed before AI art, but it's just come to the forefront now when we go,

It's just come to the forefront now when we go, hey, we have this exciting new technology that could potentially make it much easier for you to like, you know, push out images, get shit done, find textures, find stock images, whatever else. And the knee jerk reaction is, well, that's disgusting. And I'm going to boycott it. And me and all my friends are going to boycott it. And we're going to shut this down. First of all, you're not shutting it down. It's not going anywhere.

Yeah. No, you guys are done. No one cares about you. Yes. Well, I see them and they were really mad because this Chinese app showed up that like you could plug in your face and it turns you into an anime version of you. Is that that? I think it's Lenza, yeah.

And everybody was using it because it's cool. And they're going, why are you using it? AI art is bad And I'm like see I don't think you guys understand The market Doesn't react to it Are there any starving mechanics No I only work on the shittiest guys

I'm not going to use any remanufactured Parts or any modern day Lubricants It's like guys you have to evolve for the times And just accept the state of things. Like, yeah, the last guy making wagon wheels was the greatest wagon wheel, you know, maker in the world. But is that what you want to be? Are you going to buy a car? These guys are dead set on being miserable and poor. Yeah. And I just, cause I've always run

into this. I saw an article recently where like Fortnite went to a lady and they're like Hey we like your art can we pay you $3,000 For one piece of art For our video game Fortnite And she got all mad And she's like Fortnite makes

Several billion dollars And I don't think I'm like $3,000 for one piece of art is a good deal. How about we just rip it off then? Yeah. How about that? Well, you're basically begging these people. It's like, alright, well then I'll just find a cheap alternative from China and they're probably going to run it through the AI process

or whatever else. It's also that these guys don't ever work on making anything marketable or interesting where they're like, oh, it's so hard to make it with, as I've been getting more and more into comics, they're like, why is no one buying my comic? And then I look at it and it's like an Afro. I don't fucking know.

It's like a lady and she's like part frog and she's got 10 lesbian lovers. This is the comic I'm all about. Okay. Well, at least you have to market your stuff. They don't market themselves. It drives me nuts. And they're all just whining and complaining about, God, my art is so incredible,

and if only the world would recognize it. Stop rewarding AI art. And you're like, people like the AI art because it looks cool. They want to turn themselves into a little anime character. Everybody wants, everybody has ideas in their heads. What drives me crazy about it is the technical skill. Everybody wants everybody has ideas in their heads like that What drives me crazy about it is the the technical skill? Yeah, the technical skill that you've worked and developed over the years because I play I play piano all right It's gonna be tens of thousands of hours. I like doing it, but you still

Asymptotically approach what you have in your head and putting out into the world right like you no matter How good you are Or maybe is you know better than me? I can't do it sure you have an idea in your head, and you don't quite get there right You are whatever the technical skill that you've worked on and developed is what it is, and that's the best you could do That's not what makes you an artist. It's what's in your fucking head, so every time I hear right yeah Like that is the every time I hear... Right? Yeah. Like, that is the... Every time I hear these people complain

about a different tool to express what's in your head and it's somehow inferior to theirs, I think, oh, man, like, the epitome of irony. Like, if you could just take a step back and see what you are doing. Yes. It is every...

It's a wonderful performance piece that you don't intend to make. Congratulations. I mean, they're jumping. So I'm seeing like publishers. It was like a, like an indie comic publisher. That's like, we will never work with any artists that use AI imagery. And I was like, in any form.

And an AI said it. Yeah. An AI PR. I'm having an, this is my PR agency. It's AI PR. It would probably do a great job. They never fuck up. You know?

But I'm like, well, what if they just use it to like generate a texture? What if you say like, I want like the texture of a leaf and it's just going to randomly generate it. No one will ever know. They're already doing that. Photoshop already does it.

Yes. Photoshop already does it. Like, that's the other thing is like, we already have Photoshop tools, like context sensitive fill and whatever else. We've had these ai tools and to take this like hard stance against them and i'm like well then you're just gonna get left

behind like how are you not recognizing like uh there's been a big thing also all sorry i don't mean to cut you go ahead they also always complain about how they don't get enough like credit for marvel movies like they're always complaining about their vf like getting vfx credits because complain about how they don't get enough like credit for Marvel movies. Like they're always complaining about their VF, like getting VFX credits because nobody values their work. Like they're putting in all this time and people like don't care. Yeah. So why would they want to like,

you're, you're complaining about this. The other side is not going to care more about what you're doing. So just let a computer do it. Like the value is worthless to everybody. And again, I don't want to make this just about ai art a lot of it is just about that i meet artists that i'm like if you have access to tools and skills and like or if you could make something that is like popular while sacrificing your artistic integrity slightly to make a paycheck

like why do you refuse to do that it's like oh i can't believe those people on etsy who sell these t-shirts of like popular characters and like selling out yeah the myth of selling out my uncle told me because my uncle was a sculptor like a world not world famous but he's like done some like big stuff but he did he make the bean in chicago no but he's like he's known like uh really known in a way that like What do you call it? They made a movie about Robert De Niro being a sculptor And they brought in my uncle

To teach him how to sculpt Because it's like He's one of the few guys Who sculpts marble And were left in the world What? Whatever It's not that interesting

Is it? Yes! You want to be my marble sculpting uncle? I don't know Are you fucking kidding me? It's kind of cool. Yeah, I'll show you some stuff. Marble out of a rock?

Yeah. That's like the most interesting art that there fucking is. Because everybody could draw, and they're like, well, I can't draw that good. Yeah. Fucking nobody can make a thing out of a fucking rock. Well, especially now, because marble's like really hard to get these days. Who is this guy? It's all been It's all been

His name's David Giswaldi Oh my god All his stuff has been I mean mostly He's doing bronze now though Because like If you try to get marble It's all been

Scavenged for tabletops Like all the marble There's seriously Like a marble glut Because every kitchen designer In the world Has eaten up The marble supply

Not travertine You're talking about marble What do you call it? So a lot of his pieces Are smaller now Because Has eaten up the marble supply. Not travertine. You're talking about marble. What do you call it? So a lot of his pieces are smaller now because, you know, he can only get marble in certain shapes. I see. But he's done. Oh, my God.

He's done like big bronze statues of like P.T. Barnum and stuff. Wow. Yeah, it's pretty cool. Okay, I'm going to bring this part up there you go what does he think of uh super killer kneeling on can he hasn't seen that on isom's neck thankfully we make that out of marble but he did say to me even though he is one of the you know one of the last remaining marble sculptors he goes all my friends sold out when they're younger and i wish I had done it with them because they're all like weirdo art dudes.

How did they sell out? You know, just being like wearing fanciful costumes and running around and being like, I took a shark and I cut it in half and I pissed in its head and selling it for a million dollars. He's like, yeah, I just kind of did. You mean, are you talking about obliquely, the specific, like the impermanence of death?

In the mind of someone living? Yeah. By whatever. I don't know if he was friends with that guy. Sounds like it. That's a very specific. That's a very specific. Based on the story, it kind of sounds like it.

What? Okay. Do you want a marble piece? There's his PT Barnum. Take a look at that. Look at this. He's got Mark Twain. Oh, that Mark Twain is awesome, actually.

He's got a lady with boobs here. Pretty good. That Mark Twain, that's in the... Are you fucking kidding me? You have a sculptor? And like I said, like, you know, they brought Robert De Niro in, and he spent like a week in my uncle's studio being like, no, you hold the thing like this. If you don't hold it like this, people will make fun of you.

You know, this is how your sculpting tools work wow okay anyway i didn't know you were such a aficionado of the art stick well i have some stats real quick okay 75 of us artists earn less than ten thousand dollars a year from their art practice how many uh? 75% make, and 50% make between $1,000 to $5,000. So most artists are shit hobbyists. It's also worse for female artists, where 83% earn under $10,000. So there you go. How many of them are on

OnlyFans? Do they count OnlyFans for female artists? No, because otherwise they'd all be making money. That's art. Nearly half of the artists surveyed said their artistic practice is less than 25% of their total income. There's also, did you know artists are populated in certain cities? Artists per 1 million inhabitants. Miami has 581.

Portland has 500. And then quickly drops down. Denver, 250 per million inhabitants. So don't go to Portland. If you want to be an artist, you're just surrounded by these morons. Amazing strip clubs in Portland. They're also mad at NFTs. You see how often they're like,

I can't believe they would do NFTs. And I'm like, the guys doing NFTs are making a fortune. Why do you not want to make money? Why don't you like, why are you so mad at all this? I understand that like getting people excited Is the core competency Of what you're doing

I saw a thing How do you not get that? I saw a This was a tweet I responded to Where someone was like If you went to a convention And you saw someone selling Fan art of your character

Like prints For like $20 a print How would you react? And my reaction was That's great Yeah Like clearly the word's Getting out about my character

People are excited. I have fans. But you weren't excited about this? That's different. This is different. If you're selling this, I might have a problem with it. Then you got all upset about this. All right.

That's a little different. But then all the artists I saw replying were like, well, I'd go over and I'd ask for a cut. Or I'd demand they stop selling it. And I'm like, are you guys just completely moronic? Do you not understand like anything about marketing or anything else? It's crazy that NFTs have royalties built in. Do they? Yeah, on Solana they do.

Oh, I did not know that. My Shawnees do. So you get a cut every time someone trades them? Yeah. That's awesome. It's their fantasy. But they're just too dumb to like understand it. Why are artists so dumb? And I have a quote here. These are not good artists. Somebody wrote this whole, they did

a big study as why artists are so poor. One problem is artists are so poor because there's so many of them. After World War II, the romantic notion of a bohemian lifestyle gained currency in spite of the obvious lack of financial rewards. And a big problem

has emerged that governments offer subsidies to artists. That's so bad. Right. Because what that ends up doing is that it just exacerbates the problem, creating more loser artists without actually increasing incomes. It hasn't increased the demand for art. It's just increased the competition for these rare grants that are out there being fought over.

And subverts like the nature of art. Yeah. Like it should be a capture the zeitgeist. It should not be a weird government funded, we feel bad for you and need a big rock to put in our, what do you call it? I'm going to float this one by that art has turned into performance pieces exclusively. That as media has taken over, like, interactive and instantaneous 24-hour consumptive media has taken over the entire planet. Yeah.

That's the only art that there is left. And that every single piece, no matter what it is, has to incorporate that into its core. You are now the product. I would say. He's seized on the zeitgeist. He's definitely figured out you are the product and you always will be. You are never selling anything in a vacuum anymore. And a lot of these artists don't realize it.

They go, well, if I just create a great character and a great story or whatever the hell, it's going to be great. And you're like, no, you're a part of it. Eric Cholai did. Yeah. Eric Cholai did a very, a very good job. Yes. Creating a character.

No, no, not the creating a character part. Of a dumb. Well, him as a character, as a dumb. Yes. He's the ultimate character. Yeah. Artists of the world look you got to give up on your sanctity of art and you're you know i worked so hard and i only work

with a horse hair brush and ink drawn from the well it's like guys just get over it take advantage of any opportunity that comes your way when you hear about nfts or ai generated art you should be frothing at the mouth thinking of all the ways you can utilize it to make some money for yourself. Yeah. When anyone says that you guys don't prepare at all for your show, you just phone it in and you just like the more, the more lazy they make it sound. I always say like, that's the art that you consume. That is the theme that you want.

Yes. I know. Yes. You should be taking as many shortcuts as you can okay that's your problem that's my problem starving artists okay here's my here's my problem uh this is this one's a duo i took this one from christian hollingsworth it's uh work holiday parties yeah this is what is it uh the 16th right now yes so everyone's gearing up to Office Christmas party Drag their significant other

To a Some Fucking venue With a live band That's too loud Yeah That Only does these types of events

Sounds fun Where are we going? With drink tickets Oh drink tickets. Those are fun. You know, you can only fuck up at an office party. Can't have a good time. No.

You can only fuck up. And I don't know who they're for. It's great drama to fuel the next few months at work. Yeah. Did you hear what Karen did at the office party? Mike really made a scene at the office party. Yeah, he was really drunk.

Yeah, you can't get too drunk. What is the reward? You can't flirt with anyone. What is the reward? Like, we can all just drink today. We don't have to wait till nighttime to do it. Yeah, but you know, there's a lot of people drinking at the same location. That's the office Christmas party. We're all getting shit-faced at the office tomorrow, starting at nine in the morning.

That's pretty good. Show up. That's pretty good. Show up and then we work something. Show up and start drinking. Just go home. Yeah. Do whatever.

That's a good office party. Christian says, I wouldn't hang with y'all if it meant never buying a drink again. I'm certainly not hanging for a three drink maximum. Oh, God. They had drink tickets. That was a not hanging for a three drink maximum. Oh, God, they had drink tickets at this thing. Kill me with a shovel. 80% of companies plan to throw a holiday party this year. Really?

The survey that I read says. Like, have a little gift? Like, little gift baskets for the workers? Like a harmonica, like a kazoo? Yeah. Like, with the company name on it? It's like a calendar with the company picture A picture of the building on the front

And they like it People love it People love it They look forward to it I don't know Some of them are fun I don't know I haven't worked in an office in forever

Maybe they're better now Imagine None of them are fun Well I don't Imagine a bunch of people like that you Are around all the time I don't... Imagine a bunch of people that you... Are around all the time. Around all the time. Yeah.

And then you have to go to the lobby of a Sheridan, like a YMCA or something. Right. And just sit in uncomfortable chairs and eat buffet food. Dance. And meet people's husbands. Yeah. There's the hot girl you were... Oh, fuck. There's a... Hus, there's a hot girl. Oh fuck

Husbands way better than me. I never die off 80% of companies plan to throw one 90% of employees Would rather have a bonus or extra vacation days Over a company party. Yeah, well no shit Why would you not Want to spend time By yourself With your People you truly love

Just don't Ah it's an obligation So 90% of people Would rather just have money And we're still going Through this Retarded Spectacle

Everybody It's like a NASCAR race Right Everybody's going To see who fucks up For a crash Everyone's going To see the crash Everyone's going To see the train wreck Like to see who's Going to see who fucks up For a crash Everyone's going to see the crash

Everyone's going to see the train wreck Like to see who's gonna fuck up the party And nobody does Well I worked for a online Who's this company And they owned a couple different divisions I worked for the division that posted video game reviews They were like an advertising company

Mostly though And they had a big Everybody fly up I don't know retreat no it was like they were like a advertising company mostly though and they had a big uh you know everybody fly up you know like uh haul it whatever i don't know retreat yeah kind of thing yeah and part of it was to introduce the new like head of i don't know he's like the new ceo or he's not the ceo but he's like one step next to the ceo it's like oh we hired this guy used to work at microsoft he's great he's's like this Indian guy, like Rahul, you know. But he was a tough-talking guy.

Not tough-talking. Like, he wanted to be everybody's friend, right? He's like, this is going to be great. This is going to be the greatest company you guys have ever seen, right? Awesome. Yeah, awesome. Had to do all the holidays, you know, of, like, everybody going out to, like, restaurants and, like, drinking or whatever.

This guy, I don't think I'd ever drunk in his life or thought that he had because he immediately got so blisteringly drunk and started hitting on every, remember he was like the head of the company and like was going to all these like interns and be like, you're a pretty good looking girl. You're pretty, I mean, you could, you come back to, and got fired like a week later. Oh, that sucks. It was, because he was like grabbing ass at the holiday party. And you're right.

It really just exists to ruin your life. If they're going to have holiday parties, you should like do throw mama from the train style. You can't have fun at a holiday party. You'll lose your fucking job. Yeah. Just go to everyone else's holiday party. Yeah. All right. Here at a holiday party. You'll lose your fucking job. Yeah, just go to everyone else's holiday party. Yeah.

All right, here's our holiday party. Like, you're going to, like, SpaceX's down the street. You're going to, like, the Ralph's holiday party over there. No one goes to their own company's holiday party. They all just go to each other's. That would be a lot more fun. If they're going to insist on doing these goddamn things. Yeah.

It's always on a weekend. Right next to Christmas. It's always on a weekend, right next to Christmas. It's like that one last. But you don't go to holiday parties now. No. Of course not. We should have a holiday party. You want to have a work holiday party? We should have a work holiday party for all the.

What day is it? Who's even involved in this show anymore? Me, you. And Travis Touchdown. Travis Touchdown. Ken Fiddler. Ken Fiddler and maddie ray who make the thumbnails everybody makes the thumbnails gets to come and we can all stand around and go well and then we put in a lot of work this year i don't get it i don't know why they happen i can't put my i cannot put myself in the mind because like people at work want to find a way to break up work without

leaving work and that's the biggest problem is that they're like what if we were at work but you know like not really like it was like we're being silly and dancing and drinking and it's like yeah that's stupid uh i hate it yeah it's well what it is it's a subconscious it's admitting that work is terrible but not knowing that the fix is anything other than work. It's imagining a world where like, oh, work could be fun if we were doing all this shit. And it's like, well, not really. It's because drugs are illegal. That's a big problem.

People will be like, oh, no, I'm going home and doing heroin. I'm not going to the fucking holiday party. But if the holiday party said, and we've got a big supply of heroin for everybody. I'm there Everyone would come and have a great time. I went to my girlfriend's Christmas party yeah, I was like oh yeah your boyfriend ago. How'd you do that? She's like if there's an open bar. He'll he'll be there Yeah, you gotta take advantage of that hopefully the food with those are food I need I didn't need no cuz I didn't, because I didn't want to be less drunk.

Oh, okay. You really wanted the liquor to do its work. Yeah. You gotta get a free meal at least. That's an old trick. Okay. Alright, drinky gel. You know, if you don't eat food, it's an old trick. Yeah, torture your body.

Starve your body so that you're in ebriation lasts longer. I went in there and I slapped a fork out of this kid's hand. Hey, kid. Don't you know that your alcohol's not going to hit? There's an open bar, you fool. You fucking idiot. Tell them Santa sent you.

Well, hopefully there'll be no holiday Christmas parties for us. End them. Get rid of them. Get rid of them. Just if we had a couple more mass shootings at them, they'd outlaw them. Yeah, those San Bernardino people fucked up because they didn't wait until the Christmas party. Just give me like a couple bucks. A hundred bucks.

Hey, we're having a holiday party. Either come to that, and if you don't go, we'll give you like a hundred bucks. But then everyone would take the hundred bucks. The hundred bucks is going to have to be like a bribe. Give them the fucking hundred bucks then. Jesus Christ. Come to the open bar. It's like Disneyland.

Like, it's like Disney- everyone's like, oh, Disneyland's so crazy expensive, right? Right. Hundred dollars. But then like, oh, let's go to this office Christmas party. Well, how much did it cost per person? Like, oh, you know, 250 bucks. Like, just give us a fucking- This is not Disneyland.

Yeah. Could've rode the rides. Oh. Everyone could've killed themselves. Speaking of Disneyland, Could have rode the rides Oh Speaking of Disneyland Hey What the fuck was that? I was thinking about getting A universal season pass

Oh why? Because you know what's coming In February? Oh Mario Land Mario Land Yeah okay It's opening in February I don't know if I'm going to be able

To deal with the lines though It's going to be packed But I kind of feel like You don't like lines? I hate lines I feel like I'm gonna have to go in a For the YouTube sensation of it all You know

Oh today we're eating at Luigi's Cafe The food looks alright Luigi's Mansion Well they got like a Mario Kart ride They're gonna Looks cool but It's probably not that cool And then on the way out do you like Kick the Harry Potter people's asses Brian, they're going to, eh. It looks cool, but it's probably not that cool.

And then on the way out, do you, like, kick the Harry Potter people's asses? For being transphobes? Yes. Yes. Yeah. How do you like this? I'm a woman. Call me ma'am, bitch.

They're still fighting about that because there's a new Harry Potter game coming out, and I saw these big lectures like, well, actually, if you buy it, you should donate this much money to this trans charity i'm like just let people play video games man again it's the same with the artists don't support ar don't you know you could have instead of paying two dollars for a chinese app you could have paid someone two hundred dollars to draw you as an anime person you're like do you know how insane you sound you fucking idiot like shut up go figure out how to make money and stop complaining about everything dick my second problem go cut a second dick off will you blockbuster nostalgia what is this what who do you remember blockbuster the store where you rented movies yeah okay i remember when those were going out of business and i went good yeah me, me too. Good. Yeah. I never got anything out of that. Uh,

I remember going and then never having any good movies or the good movies were gone. There's a never any like weird shit. It was all sticky. Everything was sticky. Everything was overpriced. You were always like fucking having anxiety cause it was late by a day and they charge you double or some fucking shit. And then they got literal late fees and you're like, what does that even mean? And they bring it late fees. And you're like, what does that even mean? And they bring it back whenever. And you're like, well, then can I just keep it? And they're like, I don't know, man.

And I'm like, something about this is a fucking weird trick and I don't like it. Just tell me when it's due back, asshole. Anyway, now we have to pretend as a society that Blockbuster was like a linchpin. The zenith. Yeah, of our 80s and 90s childhoods and going to pick a movie off a shelf and pay a guy money to watch it was for some reason a defining event for all of us i don't buy it uh there has been right now there is a blockbuster comedy series on netflix a uh sitcom about blockbuster employees which thankfully today was canceled

because fuck that shit. Yeah. Did you see that last blockbuster documentary that came out? No, I saw that it came out and I hated it right away. It's the most boring thing I've ever seen in my life.

It's literally just a blockbuster in the middle of nowhere. I don't know if it's in like... Oh, the last blockbuster? It's like there's one blockbuster remaining somewhere and it's independently owned. It's in like Oh the last blockbuster It's like there's one Blackbuster remaining somewhere And it's independently owned It's in the hood

No no It's in some like Super white town And the whole The whole central thing Of the documentary is God I don't know If we can keep renting

These movies I hope that You know they extend Cause somebody still owns The blockbuster name And has to license it out To them And I'm like

I don't care They should do NFTs This isn like, I don't care. They should do NFTs. This isn't interesting. No, don't do NFTs. Nothing about Blockbuster is interesting. On Amazon right now, you can buy Blockbuster hats, mugs. You can get a fake employee lanyard.

They have a Blockbuster board game. All of this weird pretending. Forced meme shit. Yes. Hill house shit. Yes. Hill house shit. Do you see the memes on Twitter where people go, it's 1995 and mom says you can rent one movie and get one snack from the blockbuster. Like, what are you getting? Everyone's supposedly like, oh, I'd rent back to the future and get some juju bees. And it's like, stop participating in this performative remembrance.

Isn't there an OnlyFans girl you should be simping for, not this fucking brand? Yes! It was like, it wasn't even a cool brand. At its heyday, like, do you remember anyone being like, dude, Blockbuster is so cool? We were the warehouse people. Yeah. Which means what? A place where you, it was a place where you could go to Rent movies

It was called Warehouse? Yeah I haven't heard of that It was Right over here In America It was in this area In the California area

No It was right In this area Right here Okay Right here You're saying Do you wanna Do you wanna

Do you wanna elaborate more Look Here's Here's where you are It was right here Right here was warehouse It was What I'm saying

Just follow what I'm saying It's right here It was over It was over If this is America It was right here I'm not there Are you doing a boob

Are you grabbing a boob No It was over here I have no idea I'm trying there Are you doing a boob? Are you grabbing a boob? No It was over here I have no idea I'm trying to tell you I'm trying to tell you the location Okay Okay

Right here Over here This is where you got movies from Yes It was Imagine America Okay Yeah

It was right in that area Okay Do you not get it? I don't get it It's right there It was right in that area. Okay. Do you not get it? I don't get it. It's right there. It's right here. You're gonna have to explain it to me later. It's right here. I'm not getting it. No, no, no. You're saying you got movies from here. Yes.

Where we are right now. No. I'm saying that I got it from right here. From your hand? Don't be insane I'm being insane I'm not from my hand It's a place Okay Your house

No America No The place that I got the movies That we got the movies The computer? No In real life

In 1993 4 5 Yeah That's where it was Okay I'm not gonna get it You should 1993, 4, 5. Yeah. That's where it was. Okay. I'm not gonna get it.

You should! I'm not gonna get it. I'm not there. It's right. Does the chat know what he's talking about? You're not paying attention. Don't look at the chat. I'm looking at you and you're just gesturing with your hands at nothing. Yes. America and then at the Chad. I'm looking at you and you're just gesturing with your hands at nothing. Yes. America. America.

And then. And that's where you got movies from. I'm so lost, bro. Can we move on? I'm not gonna get it. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not gonna get it. We can't move on. I'm not gonna

get it. We can't move on until you guess the location. California. No. Is it in California? Look. Look at what I'm doing. You're gesturing with your hand.

Right here. Air? No. Is this a thing about, like, women? I'm completely lost. Here is. Here is. Yeah.

This is America. You can't just keep saying it's America. Anyway. Yeah. Moving on. I was trying to get you to say where. You wanted me to say where? Where, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Moving on. I was trying to get you to say where. You wanted me to say where? Where. Yeah. Okay. Where. And I would say the warehouse.

Okay. Because that was the slogan. So the whole time you were trying to get me to say the word where. Yeah. And I just couldn't do it. You couldn't. That was terrible. Thank you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's alright. I'm sorry. You really thought I was going to say you. I'm sorry. It's all right.

I'm sorry. You really thought I was going to say it. I thought you would eventually say where. Yeah. There must have been a better way to lead me into saying where. I was trying to think of it, but I couldn't. Yeah. Well, okay.

Anyway. What an episode. My point, Dick, anyway. The warehouse. Where? Man. Who misses blockbuster? I guess was the point. My point Dick anyway The warehouse Where Man Uh Who misses blockbuster

I guess was the point Nobody Not really You shouldn't And I had We had like local movie places That had like cooler stuff I'm nostalgic for them

Where In Massachusetts See how easy it is Sorry We had the DVDM. They just had DVDs. The only thing I remember about Blockbuster, the only exciting thing was

back when Nintendo was like if you send in enough Nintendo points, we'll give you a free game. So I went to Blockbuster and I ripped the Nintendo points out of every package in the Blockbuster and I had a shit ton of Nintendo points. Did you get a free game oh yeah what'd you get it was uh it was zelda for the gamecube they had like a special

sendaway shit wow okay yeah it was the um i think it was the yeah it was the four zelda games on like one disc for some reason they just gave it away if you had enough nintendo points now it's kind of a rarity yeah Yeah. They didn't count on that. You and the Harry or Jet guy. They didn't count on that. Well, that was because I was hanging out on a cheapassgamer.com and everybody in there was giving their, they're like, you got to go to Blockbuster and steal the codes. And I'm like, oh yeah, they're not even going to care.

They don't even know. They don't even know there's gold in those hills. My friend worked at a Blockbuster in college and he said that a guy would come in there every month and just pick movies out in their buy section and then just walk out with them. Yeah. Why didn't they stop him? They were told not to stop him because, you know,

the violence involved would be worth more than the movies. So he was working with a new guy and the new guy is like, oh shit, he's leaving. No, no. Just let him take these stupid DVDs who gives a shit. Don't worry about it. Yeah, I guess the only thing I remember about Blockbuster was occasionally getting like a good deal on like a

used thing that they were throwing out the door. Yeah. But I never wanted to rent a movie from, I just rented movies from like other places I guess some people lived in like the middle of fucking nowhere And all they had access to was Blockbuster But even then didn't you recognize You were being ripped off by a corporate machine

That probably didn't care about The sanctity of movie It's cost a shit ton of money to rent the fucking movie And they always gouged you out of late fees No because No no you don't remember when movies cost like A hundred dollars to buy Well that was the problem you don't remember when movies cost like $100 to buy. Well, that was the problem. Like the original VHS

tapes cost like $100. Well, they cost not to the consumer. Maybe at the very beginning. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the very beginning, Blockbuster wasn't established. I'm talking about like later on. Everybody pines for the blue and yellow era of Blockbuster. It's still like

$20 for a VHS tape and like $3 to rent it. It's a good deal. $4 to rent it? I don't remember how much it cost to rent. I think it was about that. I remember thinking it was like, yeah, you guys are getting a good chunk of change out of me. Good little scam here you got here. Point is, it's not like, why are nostalgic For like what was a slick Corporate little like

You know The employees didn't care about you You didn't talk to them I would go to my local movie place They'd be like hanging out Watching Simpsons You could hang out on the couch Yeah

Watch whatever with them Why would I care about It's like if I cared about I don't know Like oh can you believe Ralph's grocery store is gone It's like no Who cares

I have no attachment to that Maybe I do I think it's like no who cares i have no attachment to that maybe i do i think it's you have attachment to the movies you rented but why would you have attachment to the place you rented them from well because for a lot of people it was that was the only fun thing they did every week with their family like that was the only time they got to sit with their parents and enjoy something as a family, is going to Blockbuster, arguing about

renting Air Bud or Single Wife Female. Or The Dentist 3. Or Troll 2. That's where they got exposed to... The media that you see when you're a kid and a teenager sticks with you forever when you're adult you're like whatever i don't give a shit about this stuff like uh

maybe i just had a bad family then maybe that's my problem maybe i don't have any nostalgia because it wasn't like hey let's all watch a movie together yeah i so i guess maybe there's some people who was like a family experience well Well, yeah, it was for us. I remember like renting movies and then my dad being like, this is fucking gay. And I go, I remember distinctly I rented like some anime and my bitch. Well, that's fucking gay. Yeah, but my bitch of a stepmother was like, what is wrong with you or something? Like midway through it.

And I was like, I don't know. I just like anime, I guess. So those are my memories. It was Ranma 1 half the one where he turns into a girl if he gets splashed with water and I think they thought I was like gay and then you sucked a dick

so they weren't completely wrong uh yeah so I guess yeah maybe it's just my stunted family situation that caused me to have no love for the blockbuster apparatus. Yeah, that might be it. My movie experiences were all hanging out with my shitbag teenage friends and renting weird.

Where'd you rent it? Foreign garbage from the DV den, man. Oh. DV den. All right, well. Let us know. I agree with you. If people have Blockbuster nostalgia, I don't get it.

And it feels manufactured. Okay. It feels like whoever owns that trademark is just desperately trying to convince us all that we loved blockbuster uh sorry for taking you on that uh retarded i really was like dude i'm not getting there i really fucked up that bit but i didn't know how to save it it would have been so satisfying you had to come up with a better lead-in. I'm sorry, I'm drunk.

I couldn't come up with anything better than that. I knew you had to say it. Because I just kept guessing. Because I felt like I had to get closer to the truth. What should I have said? You'd be like, if it's not there, instead of how, who, what, why, when, and... That would have been too easy.

Yeah, I don't know Okay Here we go Oh god Null was talking shit about us Yeah He does that Do you want to hear it?

I already heard it It's not interesting I didn't hear it Somebody clipped it It's not interesting No you can play it It's I forget what he was talking about

He said He called us all greasy Null's got a lot of problems He's upset with everybody. He was mad because of the Destiny. Did you hear what I said during Destiny? You were there. I remember.

Destiny was on and we were talking about the Balenciaga thing. And I said, it's a great time to be a pedophile. Because if it is, if you're trying to get away with it. I didn't mean. He like you're trying to get away with it i didn't mean i mean he thinks you're being well yeah i'm like it's like the same way if i said it's a great time to be a black man in america you would understand i'm not a black man i'm just saying i don't know now he's a good time if you're a black man trying to break into some industry or whatever else yeah but again he went oh see veto said he's a pedophile again. I'm like, no! Okay, hold on. This one's called Drugs they sent me.

Okay. Danny Ockford 2 says, you forgot to mention about Ralph's retarded bowling ball tournament where he got swiped, proving he was the reflex of a slug and he can't defend himself for shit, hence the Portugal Maltons. I did forget that. He had a really embarrassing bowling tournament with Dick Masterson where Dick Masterson fled the scene because it got swatted

and he had drugs on him. Oh, what? Yeah, they think that you did not actually hurt your arm, which you've obviously hurt your arm. You have a giant fucking scar. Yeah. Yeah. And it's deformed.

Yeah. My fucking muscle's deformed. But they're saying you only left because you had drugs and you had to escape from the cops. So I would walk through the cops? You would have hid in the fucking bathroom or something. You would have gone into the women's room. Yeah.

Threw them in the trash can, not flushed them. I'll get that shit back. Hide them in the tank. Okay. Oh, no. Come on. He had drugs on. Don't say that. I mean, I don't care, but... Alright, this one's called... Feeds for damages. This one's called Veto the... He also hates Destiny now, because Destiny...

Destiny went on Kiwi Farms and was, like, participating. Yeah, he said he wanted to donate money to the Kiwi Farms because of the Keffel situation, but Noel thinks anybody who talks to me or you is a secret pedophile. That's true, though. No, no. Don't feed him, because he'll just play that on his stupid fucking show. That's true, though. No, no. Don't feed him

because he'll just play that on his stupid fucking show. Okay, here we go. Dick owns the biggest problem in the universe. Yeah. Exclusively. And he decided to reboot it

with Vito the Pedo. Hi. And he had Destiny on. God damn it. They call you Vito the Pedo? Of course they call me Vito the Pedo. What else would they call me? They're not clever.

They're not interesting people. That's pretty clever. How is that clever? That's so obvious. Vito the Pito. What else would they call me? They're not clever. They're not interesting people. How is that clever? That's so obvious. Well, because it's not like Peddo. It's like Pito. Yeah, I mean. Not quite there. Alright, he's a comic mastermind. Vito the Pito. I'm surprised

he doesn't have a little name for you. I think they do have one though. Okay. Recently and they were like Max is something like Vito will never like shake the whole pedophile thing because he keeps saying dumb shit and Vito said something

like oh it's a great Vito said it was a great time to be a pedophile because people are so convinced if you wear Balenciaga you're a pedophile so you can be be a pedophile because people are so convinced if you wear Balenciaga, you're a pedophile. So you can be an actual pedophile and people won't even notice. Kind of. Because everyone is like so misdirected and the pedo scare is such a thing that if you are an actual pedophile, you can get away with it.

Yeah, that's true. It's just like a horrifically stupid fucking take. It's not stupid. Genuinely, what's happening? Just like three greasy freaks talking about hemophilia. And what's supposed to be a comedy podcast. I'm not greasy. Okay, whatever.

The stuff that's going on with Balenciaga is legitimately funny. Wow, you're interrupting him. Okay. Feet out. He's protecting children. You can't talk about this during a comedy podcast. It's in the news. Everyone's talking about it

Because you greasy Whatever You think it would be easier to get away with being a pedophile Because everyone's so keyed up Well I think it's now like Hold on To go after preposterous ad campaigns And you could just Slide in there and go

I hate pedophiles too Bring over your kids I'll take care of them A lot of efforts Are being directed At the wrong A lot of energies Are being directed

At the wrong problems Gosh how is it That we haven't fixed things In 10,000 years How is it that If you care about children You go I really gotta like

Make sure people don't buy This luxury fashion brand It's like You can't think of any other possible way to help a child. People on Twitter are like, does Balenciaga have a stock ticker that I can go screenshot? When it goes down, I can post it. Oh, God, I got to boycott Balenciaga. Let's see. Who do I know who has?

Oh, gosh. Well, I don't have any Balenciaga. I have Yeti and Under Armour. Let's see. Honey, do you have any Balenciaga. I have Yeti and Under Armour. Let's see. Honey, do you have any Balenciaga? I wish. They don't make it in my size. At least they can harass the Kardashians about it.

That's all they've been doing, which has saved probably thousands of children harassing Kim Kardashian. You mean they've harassed the Kardashian PR department. Right. Whoever runs their Twitter. Okay, here you go. Shit, this is really bad. So that's like the peak of the Dick Masters

and stuff over this year I predict that in 2023 Max Carson and Vito Gastaldi will be curb stomped like in America History X by by Ethan Klein Ethan Klein will redeem himself

by curb stomping Vito and Max Carson the year that Ethan Klein. Ethan Klein will redeem himself by curb stomping Vito and Mr. Krasavian. 2023. That's what's happening. The year that Ethan Klein curb stomps me. Ethan Klein will get away with it, too, because he's Jewish. And Mr. Krasavian. The height of comedy, folks, from Null from Kiwi Farms. I don't think Ethan Klein.

I don't get it. I wouldn't let Ethan Klein curb stomp me. Thank you, Dick. I appreciate that. I would say, look, it's Jesus Christ. It's just so weird. I would throw a bunch of pennies on the ground. It's so weird when people are like, aren't you upset that Noel's saying things about you?

And I'm like, he sounds like a crazy person. He sounds like he's never talked to another genuine human being. I know he's joking, but it's not even like a good joke. He's just like fucking weird. Curbstomp by Ethan Klein. Isn't he living in like Serbia or something? I don't know. Look, I don't want to be doxing anybody. Don't want to dox. Poor

Null. Okay, here we go. Let's do some voicemails. Alright. Greasy though. Come on. Well, I'm a little bit greasy. Everyone's greasy. We live in California. You sweat. Okay. Come on. It's greasy. We live in California. You sweat. Okay. Oh, come on.

It's going to pop in. Don't forget, guys, our holiday special and the stand-up, both available now at patreon.com slash biggest problem. You're getting a lot

of bonus content this month, folks. And you can check out teasers of those on the YouTube. I've been putting up little teasers. I saw that, that was cool

You're welcome No one's talked about it in a little while So I just want to bring up I said thank you You didn't need to say Talking about I don't do anything I said thank you And then you turn it into like a slam on me

It's just good to finally be appreciated Again After so many more slams for all the detraction that comes my way now i appreciate you finally taking the time to acknowledge okay here you go all right what go what is going on oh my shit's broken hey uh no one's talked about it in a little while, so I just want to bring up Vito. When was the last time you got on the bike? You know, did any sort of exercise?

Ate healthy? You said you were going to lose weight this year, buddy. Your year's almost up. Did I say that? You did. So, yeah, have you done any exercise? Gone out for a walk? Or have you just sat aside playing video games and getting pissed off on Twitter?

I did go for a walk. Have a good day, Vito. It wasn't a lot of a walk, but I did go for a walk. Okay. And I cleaned out a space for my exercise bike. Oh, you did? Yeah. Okay.

I got a... I could probably start using it. I got something going on. I got to go to the doctor. What do you mean? I got some crazy... Exercise allergy? No, I got some pain in my legs. I don't know got something going on. I gotta go to the doctor. What do you mean? I got some crazy... Exercise allergy? No, I got some pain in my legs. I don't know what's going on. Probably

diabetes. You need to start working out. Now. I'm getting there. It's happening. It's not good enough. It's not good enough. I'm getting there. That's the best. No, that's not good enough. That guy said you were

going to lose weight this year and you didn't do it. That's the worst thing a fat guy can say about dieting. I'm getting there. That doesn't mean anything, you fat piece of shit. I'll figure it out. Hi, guys. It's me, John. So anyway, Vito brought in Hitler as a problem, and a lot of people are upset,

but they clearly don't understand what Vito was doing. The point of the biggest problem is to turn molehills into mountains. Very clever, Vito. Nice job. Hail ye. Hail ye. It's yay.

Hail yay. Yeah, because Hitler is such a small problem, of of course that i brought him in to amplify him up oh i get it now that's funny okay all right look i haven't even listened to the newest episode yet but i see hitler on there and i'm thinking i'm like okay i'm gonna go to the website i'm gonna look i'm gonna look at the vote total I'm going to see negative I know I'm going to see negative on one of these problems I've got a pretty good

Good certainty About which one that's going to be And Lo and behold I'm correct Why do you think that is Vito Why do you think he's not a problem Other than everyone's racist Because he's fucking dead, you idiot!

Look, the point was the lasting effects of Hitler. Oh, yeah. I should have said that. He's still influencing us from beyond the grave. Okay, let's see here. Oh, here's one about you. okay let's see here oh here's one about you what is going on

with this fucking thing today Vito vs Vito back on bonus episode 7 Vito said Nick Fuentes will fall apart in like a minute and then we fast forward to December 2022 Nick Fuentes

is having dinner with Trump. He's a fucking campaigner, marketing or communications advisor to Yay24. Sounds like Nick Fuentes fizzled out. That's so. First of all, I don't know what I meant when I said he'd fall apart in a minute. I don't know. That wasn't referenced. Well, what did you think it meant? Hearing a minute. I don't know if that was in reference to... Well, what did you think it meant?

Hearing it back. I don't know. I don't know what I was referencing. Would you describe how he is right now? He's falling apart? Being in my studio? I think Fuentes has achieved the height of what he will probably...

I don't even know if this is an upscale form. I mean, he's got more attention on him now than ever. Yeah. The question is, will attaching yourself to Ye in the long run prove a benefit or a negative? Oh, yeah. It all comes down to how Ye plays it.

Yeah. Because I've told you how Ye should play it. How? He needs to make red armbands for all the kids to wear. Ye plays it. Yeah. Because I've told you how Ye should play it. How? How do you think? He needs to make red armbands for all the kids to wear. I think he should make swastikas. Yeah. We argued about this because I don't think he should make swastikas because I think it's

too on the nose. And no one's going to wear a swastika. It doesn't matter. Everyone's wearing a swastika. You're not going to convince people to wear a swastika. You'd be an asshole not to wear a swastika. But if you made like a red armband with like his head or like something or a Jewish star that says yay in the middle of it and convince everyone to wear that, that would be both funny and on the edge. A swastika is too to the point.

It's not subversive in any way. And I'm a big fan of the swastika. I get it. I just don't think you could make it work The problem is you need high school kids To be able to wear this to school And plausibly not get detention No get detention

Get detention is cool Cause then they can't wear it again You need to wear it every day And then when the principal goes Hey you can't wear those You go it's just an armband, old man. You're going to ban yay armbands. And then you got like a legitimate free speech issue. It says yay.

It says yay on it. It's not actually a swastika, Mr. Rosen's. Well, he could make his weird, you know, alien swastika, but even that's a little too close. Yeah. Do you think you should do red armbands? They could be purple. Purple? What is it, gay Nazis?

No, like the Lakers. Yeah. I think he needs an identifiable piece of merchandise right now that every Ye fan will buy and wear at the same time. Yeah. And identify themselves on the street. And what is that? Which is why it would make sense if it's like a weird Jewish star

that just says yay in the middle of it and you sew it to your jacket. No, I don't want to wear a Jewish star. Well, make it like a pentagram. I don't want to wear that, though. Then make it a pentagram. I don't want to wear a pentagram. That's about Satan. Okay, then it's just his head.

I don't fucking know. I don't want to wear a little head of Kanye he needs he needs a new album and he needs a highly identifiable piece of merchandise that all his fans can wear in tandem god I hope he's in there making it out making an album if he's listening to this hire me Kanye I I will make you I I know how to do viral things I know how to do it what would you do? Again, we would come up with this like fashion thing and we would get everybody to wear it.

But what if he's like making a swastika? I'd say no. No. What do you think? He's like a reasonable guy? It can't be a swastika. Is there a trademark issue? No. It's just you can't. You're going to have people punching people on the street if they're wearing swastikas. Oh, God forbid. That would happen. No, you don't want to. It's got you can't You're gonna have people punching people on the street If they're wearing swastikas Oh god forbid that would happen

No you don't wanna It's got too much history You could subvert the swastika though You could find a new swastika Like a Three prong swastika Five I don't fucking know Put a smiley face swastika

Smiley face with swastikas for eyes A smiley face swastika could be pretty cool That's a horrible idea Uh okay I'll even make up With Nick Fuentes Make up Me and Fuentes are gonna be friends

No probably not He's too young or too old for you You know what the biggest Fucking problem in the universe is thinking about one of your guys's problems which is nice drivers on the road and spilling a fucking medium cup of hot coffee all over my lap thanks a lot guys go fuck yourself which problem caused him to spill his coffee let's hear it again Was he laughing so hard You know what the biggest Fucking problem in the universe is Is thinking about

One of your guys' problems Which is Nice drivers on the road And spilling a Fucking medium Cup of Hot coffee All over my lap

Thanks a lot guys All over his wiener What kind of drivers On the road Nice drivers Was that a problem Oh yeah We were talking about

People who are too polite Yeah He spilled his coffee All over his pants Why'd you spill your coffee You fucking idiot How did you do that Nice drivers. Was that a problem? Oh, yeah. We were talking about people who are too polite. Yeah. He spilled his coffee all over his pants. Why'd you spill your coffee, you fucking idiot? How did you do that? Don't you have a cup holder? He was probably trying to sip, and maybe he laughed so hard at our hilarious problems. You had your coffee between your legs, and then you squeezed your legs too hard?

Send a diagram of how you spilled your coffee. We got a lot of people in the chat tonight. Oh, we do? Yeah, look at that, 366. A lot of yay voters in there. No. Press one for yay. You have Fuentes in your studio.

I want to see how that relationship evolves. I really do. Who, me and Nick Fuentes? Yeah. I love him. I wish he was my son. Please stop. Why? do who me and Nick Fuentes yeah I love him I wish he was my son stop why I don't know it's just you can't handle the future the way it's gonna be it's just really weird when I like go to like comedians and stuff like you should be on our podcast like oh who's there and I'm like

my buddy Dick hangs out with Nick Fuentes that Nazi that loves This guy posted a negative one egg council you better watch your ass Or when they check the list of problems, they're like why is one of your problems blackface? I'm like, it's just just for fun. I know I I know I did that. You've done worse stuff than me. It's true. We still have to do the racist vote problem count again. Oh, yeah. Okay. Anyway, guys, what a great show. We're going to do Super Chants, but don't forget

to check out patreon.com slash biggest problem and vote on all the problems. We'll put them up after the show. Our problem is once again, we're blockbuster nostalgia, starving artists. No, wait, yeah. Billionaire bootlickers and holiday parties. And holiday parties.

I wanted to bring in a Christmas problem. Mike Hunt for five. We were all correct that the addition of a black elf was a reliable indication that the end product would be trash. Vote down fear of a black elf. I'm still going to say the problem with that show is not that the elf was black. Koof 2, thank you all for not killing yourselves. Silverback Strength for 10, episode 69. Wow.

It is episode 69. Nice. Nice. Merry Christmas, you filthy animals. Verico for 279. You done did just drink a Superman and play into The same storyline Why'd you do it like that? I don't know I thought he was Trying to do uh

Pigeon or whatever. Oh yeah maybe yeah maybe Uh they are recasting Superman I don't know how you feel about that Henry Cavill is out. I hate Uh superhero movies. Okay well then You don't care at all. No. What band did for two The fentanyl killed Isom not super killer Well there you go.

At least. Oh, maybe Super Killer planted it somehow. I'm really worried about future Super Killer fan art. I feel like we've opened a door to horrifyingly. How could it get worse, though? I don't know, because that guy really did nail like the worst possible thing. Like the theme of the comic. Part of me was like, I kind of hope Eric July doesn't see this.

Michael winning. So everybody, make sure Eric July does not see that fan art. Please don't. I don't think he's. I didn't even want to post it because I thought I'd get banned. He's not even going to notice. He doesn't care. Michael winning for 10.

Dick should have an episode where he invites on all these people Vito attacks on Twitter like Chrissy Mara and Melanie Mack and just have one big struggle session for Vito. We should do a roast. Of you? Yeah, and all my haters can just come by and make fat jokes. The problem is... They have no sense of humor. Well, yeah, that's part of it.

But they also just don't want to... Like, even the way Melanie Mack said it, like, oh, he's gotten enough clout off of me. It's like, what? What do you think's happening? What do you think's happening here? Like, this is just shit talking over Twitter. Literally nothing has happened either to me or for her or vice versa. It's like, we had a little spat on Twitter.

Everyone's going to forget about it a day later. That's the other thing. People always freak out about my Twitter things. They're like, aren't you worried about your reputation on Twitter? I'm like no Yeah no All of this is an illusion And the things

That you're saying Are always correct I think And even if I'm wrong At least I'm funny about it It's stupid to be Making videos With Bible quotes

About like Well here's what Here's what God Had to say About the The Luddites And the Who fucking cares?

Jesus Christ. Matt R for $1.99. Mary was 14, underage. Oh, no. God raped an underage woman. Stop, stop, stop. Oh, what? That's bad?

We're going to get in so much trouble with the religious people. Look, I respect you. If you try to seriously have a conversation about Satan, it's silly to me. I find it silly. Like, the whole thing of gotten enough clout off of me, like, okay. Yeah, I really, I got a whole lot of clout. That's like a fat girl saying, like, you couldn't handle this. Like, oh, no, no, you're right.

And I like her, but I don't know why she said that. You like Melanie Mack? Yeah, I like Melanie. I don't know why she said that. She's like a Christ chick, and I made fun of her. She's going to accept that. I wasn't know why she said that You like Melanie Mack? Yeah, I like Melanie I don't know why she said that She's like a Christ chick And I made fun of her She's gonna accept that I wasn't even trying

Because you made your picture Well, then Chrissy Mayer goes Why don't you tag her? And I go, because I'm not trying to make it a thing Just, I don't respect Why is Chrissy Mayer's husband Always calling you a pedophile? Is he a pedophile?

I don't know He's like obsessed He's mad He's obsessed with you being a pedophile Yes That's a bit odd But then he came to me and he goes this needs to stop this needs to stop and i'm like you're fucking your fucking

lady goes at me all the time what do you mean this needs to stop he's like was really mad that like i'm referencing him and making fun of him and he's like this has nothing to do with me i'm like well he kind of does because you go on watp and you go, I think Vito secretly loves pedophiles. Oh, that's right. That was weird. I'm like, you. Bro, you're not even famous. It's your wife that's famous. Yeah.

And he's mad that I made fun of him. I'm like, I'm only making fun of you because of her. Because it obviously makes her. And then he's like, well, that's stupid. And then later she goes, how could you make fun of my husband? I'm like, well, then it's not stupid because it worked. And it made you upset. And that was funny.

So whatever. It's all complicated. He accuses people of being a pedophile because he's like, Oh no, hold on. Let me, because he's lessening the trauma done by actual child. Well,

he said to me, he wants nothing to do with it. I don't know what the fuck that means. I'm like, all right, I guess if you're really that upset about it, I don't know why you came at me in the, because remember the first thing that happened came at me on twitter well there was that tweet where they were like hey we're talking to these comedians they're

talking like Josh Denny and Chrissy Marr and whatever else yeah and I responded to this guy I think it's that Brandon Strachan guy I don't remember who it was though I'm like well hey let me come on who's done more for comedy than me and I posted like a thing Of me at Netflix yeah you Yeah and then Chrissy Maris fucking Book her husband goes Vito's not a real comedian He's he's a secret pedophile blah blah blah And I'm like whoa buddy alright

I honestly don't know why that she's Like I mean I don't know I'm trying to be a nice guy But I'm happy to bury it. What the fuck, man? Look, I'll bury it. I didn't go at her.

And then she saw me make fun of Mellie Mack, and she wanted to get involved. And I was like, I haven't even been tweeting about you because I said I'm happy to bury it. And now it's all convoluted. But regardless, if... It's not convoluted. If Frank Pellegrino, Booker to the Stars, wants to be left out of our stupid little internet fights, I'll try to respect it as much as I can.

Alright? I didn't know. He was really upset. Bro, bro, bro, stay away from my bro, stay away from my chicks. These are all my chicks. What was I saying? Bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro. Get me out of it, bro. I'm like, why are you shit-talking me on Twitter if you don't want me to shit-talk you for months afterwards? Because it's funny. Like, alright. And I guess he's like, I won't say anything more about you. Like, I months afterwards because it's funny. And I guess he's like,

I won't say anything more about you. I just want this to be over. And I'm like, okay, man. Okay, then kill yourself, Gaylord. God, I didn't know it was that serious. It's not. I don't think it is. I told him. I'm like, listen, man, I'm just goofing on you because it's funny because Chrissy. But after a couple hours, this is all going to be

over and no one's going gonna pay any attention to it No one fucking cares No one cares if you call in or not We're just trying to have a fun show for everybody Go back to your little Drag queens are the devil Story hour Well they want to talk shit about anyone

But then you talk shit about them and they're like I can't believe No one didn't have any drag queens on his arc, Katie. Am I right, girls? I don't know. It's just convoluted. I don't even know how to feel. Just leave me alone and let me tweet on my own page then and stop

fucking trying to. Okay. Alright, whatever. Matt R for $1.99. Stop it. Vito's Twitter. Vito's Twitter. Vito being Vito on Twitter. Veto's Twitter. Veto being Veto on Twitter. People love my Twitter. I'm going to get my real Twitter.

Stop it. I'm going to get my real Twitter. Veto's Twitter. Will you fucking comment? Matt R for $1.99 has, how is Superkiller not just the boys, lol? Those of you who have been paying attention. Because it's just one guy. Oh, it's a guy and a girl.

He gets a sidekick. Okay. But those of you who have been following my Twitter, you'll know that there's many, many differences. So what, are you not like the boys? Like you don't want another of the boys? Fucker. Is that what you're saying?

I mean, I haven't even read the comic, The Boys. I've watched the show. But honestly, this is a concept I came up with like 20 years ago uh so anyway i i came up with it before the boys oh good i like i like that take they stole that from me david march for five looking forward to super killer doing his bit and no one's ever come up with the idea of a normal guy taking down a supernatural entity seems like a pretty obvious idea gilgamesh, right? This is never, this type of story has never been told in human history. I know what I ripped off, and maybe I'll tell you sometime, but it wasn't the boys. Well, what happened at the riot in Wisconsin?

Is that going to be, oh, he's going to go to Kenosha? He's going to help save some people. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I don't think that's going to happen either. No, that's not a superhero, though. See, that would be a good comic. A superhero just goes to all these mass shootings and makes them worse. Osama bin Diesel for two.

Vito has an issue with Hitler yet supports Ukraine. Yeah, good point. Hypocrite. I don't think that is a good point. Hypocrite. Pop quiz for $1.99. Para Sergesto. Is that TBF in Spanish?

Yeah. Does that count? No Okay But it would have if you said it was to be fair Yeah, there you go Z12 Tetsuto Tetsuo?

Tetsuto Test Oh, because he had posted on a previous show A bunch of Japanese characters And I tried to read them But I clearly failed Okay Did you read that one? Well, yeah, because he spelled it out Oh A bunch of Japanese characters And I tried to read them But I clearly failed Okay Did you read that one?

Well yeah Because he spelled it out Oh Tesuto Okay Testo Oh I see Testo

Tesuto Testo one Testo two I'll make a pork fried rice With salt and pepper Mr. Man I'm glad I don't know Japanese If I woke up

And I knew Japanese I would kill myself I If I woke up and I knew Japanese I would kill myself I kind of want to take Japanese again Because of the Japanese girls No So I can like I guess I don't know what purpose it would serve at that point I was thinking

What if I had moved to Japan and learned Japanese And just been the token white guy And all their TV shows or something That would have been fun As a famous comedian is like fat white guy who's in like every Japanese like it's so fat He's so fat and I just show up like the robots are fighting and these cuts me I go Probably having the best time of his life. There's some guys like that pop quiz for $1.99 I don't care Mike Mike Hunt for $5. If they don't use money in Star Trek,

how does Picard own a vineyard? I think you can maintain your property in Star Trek. You can't have property in a socialist society. In a vineyard? Yeah, you can. No, number one. It's owned by the state, but you're in charge of it, right? Should be owned by nobody.

I don't know. Is Star Trek socialist? Yeah. They don't have money. It's not anarchist. Well, how do they determine property? Can you just be like, this is my house? I don't know. Remember Picard's brother, who was retarded?

Yeah. What was that all about? I don't know, man. He's like, wah. Remember him? He was an old guy who was mad at Picard? Yeah. What was that all about? I don't know man He's like Wait did he He was an old guy Who was like mad at Picard

Yeah What was that all about Yeah He was mad that Picard Didn't take care of the vineyard And his dad or something Yeah And they have that new Picard show

And it's all about his mom Or something I'm not watching any of that ChrisRab for 10 Put this towards The marble bust of yourself Mr. Masterson Oh thanks

Thank you JohnRiffs for 10 Man who can afford food because of Star Wars videos does not understand the appeal of forcing ugly stone to be filled. I didn't say I don't understand it. Like, I get it. Sculptures? Yeah. Yeah.

I'm not coming down on my uncle. He just grew up with it. Probably. No, I still, I'm just saying he said famously to me, he wished he had sold out at a younger age and done, I don't know, fucking sculptures of big dick monsters or whatever would have been popular at the time. Gunranger for 10, the soullessness of AR art comes from how bland digital art is compared to hand-drawn.

Everything is too slick and has too much sheen in the imperfections that add to art and give it life or loss. I'll agree with that, but I think AI art Should be used To accentuate Like I think again using it for textures Or poses or whatever else I think it has a lot of work as like A compliment to traditional art skills

Yeah I think that Gun Ranger You have you wouldn't be able to pick The two out of a lineup Well I think we're also Someone said this is the Mona Lisa Like oh no that's actually a replica you wouldn't be able to pick the two out of a lineup. Well, I think we're also... Someone said this is the Mona Lisa. Like, oh, no, that's actually a replica.

I think right now AR art has been fed too many resources of these slick CG-looking things, but it'll figure out 2D line art a little more at some point. 2D line art is also a lot harder for it to fake, though, because a painted-looking thing, you can have smudgy little blotches of color and your eye interprets them however

when it's like actual defined lines it gets more complicated Mike Hunt for two AI art creates a niche market for human made art I think they'll both exist

could be well that's what Blade Runner said Mike Hunt for two also says AI art can't replace watching Kim Jung Gi draw

is that that guy who just died AI art can replace yeah anything can replace that because he Gi draw. Is that a guy who just died? AI art can replace that. Yeah, anything can replace that because he's dead. You can just make a guy drawing. Kara Fro for 10. Skipped the office company party

this year at a big fancy hotel. I'd rather take my little girl to see the lights. They dropped off a nice set of earbuds on my desk today. I felt like an asshole. Oh, you missed the gifts. You get your gift afterwards.

Why'd you feel like an asshole? Don't feel like an asshole. Because they bought her things and they sent up this whole thing for her. So just buy me shit. I think you got to go. I think it's a social obligation. No, it's like one step below like putting out for a guy if he buys you dinner. Well, you got to do that too.

Well, okay. Them's the rules Speaking of which we're getting steak this weekend Yeah And I expect afterwards Putting out A little parking lot action Mike Hunt for five

Would you rather a marble statue of yourself Or Hitomi Tanaka No I want to Hitomi Tanaka but I think I would break my cock trying to fuck her tits. Because she's made out of marble. I couldn't resist it. Oh, so Hitomi Tanaka would also be made of

marble. Yeah, do you want a marble statue of yourself or Hitomi Tanaka? Why would I want a statue of myself? Hitomi Tanaka. Yeah, but then you're gonna break your wiener. WhatBandit asks for two, are you gonna take your rascal scooter to Mario Land? I don't want to think about it. Dixon.

Are you going to take? No. I think I'll be fine. My back was really fucked that week. All right. Dixon. Me. Arse.

Hey, Dick. I bought a car off of Puerto Rican. Thanks. Dixon. Me. Arse. That's pretty good. How you doing?

Dixon. Me. Arse. Dixon. Dixon. Me That's pretty good How you doing Dixon Mears? I'm Dixon Dixon Mears That's pretty good I didn't even catch that Carafro with the $5 Last minute super chat losers Let's get this train going We're gonna refresh see if there's any more super chats But a good episode

Except for the five minutes where I Could not parse what Dick was trying to get me to say or do But a good episode Except for the Five minutes Where I could not Parse What Dick was trying To get me to say Or do Unfortunately Kara for five Dick you were so quiet

Then uncomfortably Inappropriate For the law tubers On Nick's birthday stream Wait where? It was fucking hilarious Oh yeah Yeah were you being

Really quiet And then all of a sudden You got crazy? By the way I plugged the show Right away I heard Good work. Maybe that's why we got such a big audience tonight.

Well, they're talking about like, oh man, this one boomer woman was talking about like how dating should be. She's like, well, you just go to a bookstore. If you want to find ladies, just go to a bookstore. And what? Tap them on the shoulder? Rape them. I don't know. Don'tpe them? I don't know.

Don't do that. I don't know. Everyone was like, that's retarded. And she just wouldn't stop telling. It's a whole bookstore. It was nine guys. And she would not stop telling nine guys how to meet women. Right. And we're like, everything that you're saying is dumb. And she's like, what?

Well, that's crazy. Well, look, guys. i was dating 20 years ago and i was like so was i bitch like what are you fucking you can't pull that card anymore i fucking remembered dating 20 years ago too you fucking idiot it's not what you're saying was just as offensive then yeah um and then this guy who is like crippled by don't make enemies of all the law tubers they don't care lawyers don't care no i liked her i mean i like them she's just saying retarded shit about dating i'm not saying she's probably a great lawyer fair enough and she's got two daughters so you know it's just a fucking clam bacon like it's their heads just start getting scrambled uh yeah go on so then this guy who's like crippled with like loneliness and depression over

it has this like uh like uh incel rage moment which was awesome yeah he's like uh he's like don't he's like don't uh tell don't you think you think like i don't know that I'm a loser You think I haven't tried And wiped that smirk off of your face And I was like oh man that's awesome Like They're so aggressive That's the reality show we gotta put together It's like a bunch of incels and a bunch of pretty women

Have to share a house And a machete No no Cause that's gonna turn bad immediately The second. And a machete. No, no, because that's going to turn bad immediately. The second you touch the machete, the show's over. Claptrap the Destroyer for five says, I like when you guys bash religion. Look, I think you can have your own little private beliefs.

It's fine. Just stop trying to make logical arguments based on the mathematical sphere grid that exists beyond the ether. I don't know it, and I don't get it. No, I hate religion. Fuck you if you need it. I mean, it's fine to have it.

You have to go. This is like a private thing I believe and can never prove. Keep it in your fucking pants. Keep it in the bedroom. Go ahead. Keep it in your... You got it. That's fine.

If it comes out... And if you make a video about it, a fat skeptic might go, well, look at this dumb broad. I'm making fun of how tiny it is. If you think you believe in God, pull it out because I'm going to tell you that you don't believe in God as much as you should because you won't confront an atheist on a podcast in the name of fucking Satan, dude. If you believed in Jesus, you would be here right now. Won't Jesus protect you against granting me clout?

Won't he work with his magic forces to prevent me from getting any additional clout off you? Because you are the virtuous sword of God. The women who pretend to believe in God are the worst. Men who believe in God and preach God, I respect. But women who talk about God or Jesus, it's like it's it's offensive it's fine to believe it it's just when you try to make like like like rational points out of what a guy in a book said a million years ago and i'm like yeah i just don't think it applies like that guy fucked sheep and then he wrote a bunch of books about and then he killed jesus and then he killed jesus

he watched you know then he went to seder cut his killed Jesus. And what did he... He watched, you know... And then he went to Seder. Cut his kid's dick off because God told him to, but then it was a trick and he learned a lesson. Yeah. Well, what's great about this show is we have supporters of all stripes, Dick. Why don't you show us on the big board? It shouldn't matter to you if you believe it. Our most famous supporters.

Don't forget to support the show at patreon.com slash biggest problem where you can listen to the biggest problem in the universe holiday special as well as the biggest problem in long beach stand-up spectacular look at the wet bandit the wet bandit is there there's also uh maddie ray who tried changing his name to something really long to fuck with my ability to put this stupid list together thank you maddie ray this list was a mistake yeah next time i'm gonna put your name as maddie d bag all right the list is not a mistake i made the list a new list i've made a new one yeah but december's almost over no it's not we're like halfway through it

half empty it doesn't say december it's whenever i feel like updating what do you think do you think it would be more palatable If people just said I don't deny the holocaust I just think it's half full Do you think that would be Good night everybody The fuck does that mean

You know not half empty Yeah that Doesn't work You don't think it works It works for like life and stuff Why don't you call up your new best friend Nick Fuentes And ask him what he thinks about the holocaust Why don't you see how that goes

We'll be back next week Alright goodbye everybody Bye bye I really fucked up that bit Oh no it was great