The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 72

Episode Date: January 7, 2023

False False Flags, Gimmick Twitter Accounts, e-Wh*res

You know how they can look at which Reddit boards correspond to other ones? Like people who like this Reddit board also like this Reddit board. Oh, like liberals and are liberals and are pedophiles? No, not that. I don't know. I don't think there's an are pedophiles. I could be wrong. But it was if you're frequently into are anti-theism,

one of the top five Subreddits Those people also frequent Is R Funko Pops R Atheism Or R Theism Anti-theism

So Basically Like Going beyond atheism To the point that you hate religion So if you hate religion You might like Going beyond

Little toys Going beyond it Hating religion And then even going beyond that And joining a subreddit Right Which is too far And then worshipping

Tiny plastic idols Of your favorite Marvel characters Or whatever the fuck else Um Whatever happened to that Poor A.A. Lewis guy Who was that?

I'm in like The guy who single-handedly Destroyed the atheism movement Oh the one who went on Fox News was it? Or was that the anti- enlightened. The guy who single-handedly destroyed the atheism movement. Oh, the one who went on Fox News, was it? Or was that the anti-war guy? No, no, no. I'm enlightened by my own knowledge or something like that. The guy wrote his own quote.

A.A. Lewis. Yes. Yeah, so they quoted himself. Yeah, I saw that's going around again. Yeah, atheists all sit around hoping that someday when they're a pointless pile of bones and nothing, someone will quote a cool thing they said. It's like the highest good of atheism, apparently. Somebody might quote me one day, but not A.A.

Oh, you know what? They will quote A.A. Lewis until the end of time. Let's quote him right now. What was it? A.A. Lewis. Was that his name? I hope so Atheism quote

Let's see In this moment I am euphoric Yeah that was it In this moment Is a quote written by Redditor A.A. Lewis A.A. Lewis I am not a philosopher

I am not a professional quote maker Oh just to be clear I'm not a professional quote maker. Oh, just to be clear, I'm not a professional quote maker. I'm just an atheist teenager who greatly values his intelligence and scientific fact over any silly fiction book written 3,500 years ago. That being said, I am open to any and all criticism. And here's his quote in this moment i am euphoric not because of any phony god's blessing but because i am enlightened by my intelligence that's deep put that on a bumper sticker huh from from a a lewis one of the great thinkers of the modern age he did it though somebody pointed

out quoted forever yeah he destroyed atheism i don't know if that destroyed atheism Are we doing this thing? You wanna do it? Let's do it Bump that up Yeah Biggest Problem In the

Universe Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe. Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe. The only show that ranks every problem in the universe from Putin's aggression to crypto bro depression. I'm your host, Dick Mastris, and joining me as always is Vito Giswald. Hi, Dick. What's up, buddy? How you been? Good. You're all full of piss and piss today. Oh, that reminds me.

The great Salvo Pancakes is calling in at 7 o'clock, the 7 o'clock hour today. I don't hate Salvo Pancakes. I just think he's getting... I wish he was my son. He's getting a little taste of his own medicine, it feels like. Of his own piss medicine. Yeah. But he seems to be enjoying it, don't you think?

Is he? Does he enjoy it? Well, I think part of why he likes it is... He's rolling around like Sonic the Hedgehog in there. He's definitely... Boom! That's what he does. Yeah.

He's playing it very well. He's playing it the way you probably should play it, unlike Flamenco, who completely tanked his own brand after a number of allegations. Flamenco should shave a gayer mustache. I was listening to Flamenco went on Keemstar's stream to talk about it. Yeah, that went pretty well for him, don't you think? It went terrible. And I'm like, Flamenco, you're bad at this.

What do you mean? What's bad about what he did? Because he goes on there. He wasn't defending Shota correctly? Well, because the way he talks about things is in this like, well, I wouldn't actually know. And I'm like, no, you do know. You know everything. Because he went, well, from my understanding, age play is this.

And I'm like, no, no, no, not from your understanding. You know exactly what it is you're a weird kinky deviant and like you're fully familiar with all the different fetishes and whatever so stop with this detached like well I think Shotokan might be you know exactly what it is just

say what you know and be honest about it yeah but he's trying to be all like sneaky like you know I wouldn't actually know I'm not in those spaces. It's like, I think you are. Because you own the space. What do you mean you're not in the space? You know what they're talking about and you keep chiming in with, well, actually, it's this, this,

and this. Okay, well, that means you know about it. Flamenco's like a reverse Columbo. Columbo's like, one more thing. One more thing. Flamenco's like, is it raining? And he's like, well, I mean, people actually say that it's raining, but I mean, I don't know.

Apparently. Apparently. I can't tell what rain is. I mean, that's what I would say if I were to point out that it was raining. It is what it is. It is what it is. It is what it is. It is what it is.

All these guys just need to stop playing this little, I don't know, I couldn't possibly know. Like, you're all weird sexual. I like cartoon pornography. You creep on the internet. Boom, boom, boom. Clearly you're, you're all weird sexual. I like cartoon pornography. You grew up on the internet. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Clearly you're watching anime porn all the time. I want to fuck Mary and marry him from Robin Hood and Disney version.

Boom, boom, boom, boom. Yeah, just own up to it. I've read Boy Soprano. It's fine. It's not, it's whatever. It's actually kind of boring. The drawings. No, no, no, no, no.

I have a problem with this. What? The artsmanship is just not erotic at all Yeah, exactly. It's not even that good. How are you turned? Then you just turned on by the ideas That's no I like I'm saying it's like it's like art is distracting. It's like it's distracting me bad It's like an amateur work as the guy's not like a professional I do want to for if super killer number two happens. Unfortunately Unfortunately I already have a hentai cover lined up But if I do Super Killer issue two

Which I plan to I'm going to get the artist of Boy Soprano Actually Vito a fan already made That's what you're describing Let me see Where did they do it Yeah they did Somebody did the hentai

Oh man come on where the fuck are you guys for me now it's not there supposed to post it in the fan art channel you idiot you fucked me over fucking discord anyway from the yeah i just think these guys need to own their deviancy and i guess salvo's kind of doing that what do you mean kind? He posted a picture of a toilet. Yeah, but he's doing that because he has to. Send it in. You know? Oh, man.

I can't. Somebody send it to me. If somebody has this supposed new super killer thing, feel free to send it to Dick somehow. Okay, you ready for the oops?

Who won? Yeah. Yeah. The desexification of media. All right, another W for the V man Another V for Victoria Number one People don't want their boobs getting taken away It's a real problem

I'm surprised it hadn't come up before As I was going into that problem I'm like I feel like I did this one But I guess not I didn't do teeth as tits being smaller Yeah how did you not get into it? I must have blown my wad on my show talking about that. Yep.

And I stole it right out from under you. What I hate most about your problem winning is that the problem name is so unsexy. Yeah, well, that's part of the problem. That's part of the problem. I should have said, not getting enough big anime titties in your face. Yeah, then that would be cool. That would be better. Yours is like- Not enough anime titties in your face. Yeah, then that would be cool. That would be better. Yours is like...

Not enough anime titties. Lex Friedman. Manliness gurus. That deserves to be up there. On a different show, that would have been number one. But people want their video game and anime titties. Yeah. On a different show, that would have been last.

Yes. Manliness gurus. There's a vacuum now in this space. I know. We've lost Andrew Tate. manliness gurus. There's a vacuum now in this space. I know. We've lost Andrew Tate. We've lost who was the guy who was putting dildos in his butt? Jack Murphy. Jack Murphy. Yeah.

Would they keep dropping like flies? We lost Salvo. I don't know. Salvo's Is it masculine? We'll see. Oh, what's up, buddy? Salvo should take over as the masculinity advocate of our times. I'm working like Neil Hamburger now. Ooh.

Why? Why? Why did Salvo Pancakes take Michael Jackson... I like that you like Neil Hamburger, but you don't watch... ...to the bathroom at Auschwitz? Why, Neil? I don't think you have a joke there. Well, because the urinal was broken.

Fuck you, Vito. That is a good Neil Hamburger joke. That's a pretty good Neil Hamburger joke. Fuck you. Yes. Yes. So you're a Neil Hamburger fan. I'm a Greg Turkington on cinema fan.

It's his dead name. No, it's not his dead name. You got to be watching on cinema at the cinema. Shoulder nipples. Terrible problem. Not as big of a problem as come, which should have been number one. I can only imagine the voicemails I'm going to get this fucking week. All I got was a million comments.

It's pretty disturbing. Pretty disturbing take on it. It's million comments. It's pretty disturbing. Pretty disturbing take on it, to be honest. It's not disturbing. It's totally normal. It comes fucking, it's the grossest shit. It causes STDs. It causes unwanted pregnancies. It is one of the great evils of our world.

Okay. Humeme says, it just sounds like Vito is craving a vasectomy. I would up my tier to 10 bucks a month if he gets one. No, because you still shoot semen with a vasectomy. You just don't shoot sperm. You literally. Wait, what? I thought you still have seminal fluid, but you don't have the sperm in the seminal fluid.

I thought semen were the snakes. Right. So you'd still have cum, though. Okay, but you said you still shoot semen Sorry Is that slippery stuff semen? Okay Seminal fluid contains the semen

So we could have a big argument about vaccines But when it comes to What is a vasectomy and what's a semen I want a little cloud I want a little cloud to come out of my dick A little fluffy cloud From Final Fantasy Oh like Mario? Yeah Like Lakitu comes out I want a little cloud to come out of my dick. A little fluffy cloud that just floats away. Oh, like Mario?

Yeah. Like Lakitu comes out throwing spinies everywhere? Yes. Petty says, hey Vito, can I sign your flag? I'm not a ho-ho, but I'm more right-wing than Nick Fuentes, so you could definitely consider me a Nazi. We got to get the flag signed, I've decided. You want to bring it to?

I think if we go to Philadelphia, we're going to bring the flag signed. I've decided you want to bring it to I think we go to Philadelphia We're gonna bring the UK and Korean flag and okay only the I don't I think only the big names get to sign it though none of the fans fuck the fans I Guess there's a lot of room on there. There's not enough room for everybody. There's gonna be like a bunch of people there What do you mean only the so so me and Carl get to sign it? Like you and Carl, like Tony from, I don't know. Maybe everybody can sign it. You know.

We got two flags. Why do I fuck everything up? Why do you say stuff like that? Because I don't care. I only want the fans to sign that. Because what do I care? Because like half the fans are going to turn on us at some point and try to dox us or some shit.

I don't trust any of these fucking people. It's fun to sign things. Like a yearbook. Everybody can sign it. I don't want any of these fucking people. It's fun to sign things. Like a yearbook. Everybody can sign it. I don't want to look at just Carl's signature. Yeah, but I also, it's going to be like, oh, Jimmy from fucking Philly. And I'm going to be like, I don't need to remember that guy. He gives a shit about that.

These people pay for where you live. They support your life. Some of them. Don't you want to be reminded? Why do you think I keep all this shit in this room? It's like a reminder to prove built this house that you're a vitaphile plus or a ticket plus It's show us on your phone and then you're allowed to say okay Then that you can sign my half the blue and just anybody my yellow I get the p-hat Yeah, it's bullshit. I'll take whatever half you want and sign who you like more. Sign their half.

Benjamin Swearingen said, your impression of Tate have led to my algorithms all updating me to feed me chess content. Oh, God. Oh, wow. What a nightmare. Got to play chess. Got to play the chess. Vito, please steal elections better than Magic the Gather so we continue we can continue to get more weapons I'd be a terrible mule. I'd get found out immediately. Yeah, I think you would be

Great bonus episodes as Michael It was a great a bonus episode the biggest problem in 2022 now available to our patreon subscribers at patreon.com slash biggest problem John Redcorn says dentists are backed up like six months at the moment. Mid-December, I had to call around on the fourth try. I got lucky. Got one where they had a cancellation for two. Okay. Well, he had rough.

See, dentists. Going to the dentist. That's a big problem. Vote it up. Six-month wait. What's up with, yeah, I don't even know how to get to a doctor. I got to do a, I got to get an appointment. Rude Boy says, sent this picture of Vito's Twitter. Vito's Twitter. They wanted me Boy sent this picture of Vito's Twitter.

Vito's Twitter. They wanted me to fuck you. Vito's Twitter. What did I do? What? Well, this was funny. Shut up. This is a good jerk.

Vito's Twitter. Vito being Vito on Twitter. That's a good joke. Vito on Twitter. What you put here. Vito on Twitter. Vito being Veto on Twitter What you put here Veto on Twitter Veto being Veto on Twitter

Shut up Turn this off Okay Cause everybody was I let all your stupid Stingers play all the way through Cause every Well

How long is that fucking I guess people do like I don't know The Veto on Twitter I've never listened To the whole thing I thought it was like Two minutes long

Cause everybody's Complaining about the fact That in Last of Us Yeah The girl Let's be real She does not look like The girl from the video game

She's kind of got this weird Cro-Magden look She looks ugly And it messes it up It kind of does I don't want to I'm not going to fight zombies To save some ugly

Dumb ugly bitch I don't think Joel would either I need a hot 14 year old If I'm going to save you You bitch I need like a 14 year old If I'm gonna save you You bitch I need like a Disney princess Or Jesus' mom 14 and smoking ass hot

Otherwise You're on your own I don't care if you can cure zombies Well You had a different take I just think you could've found a You know An attractive young actress

It's weird You know Especially after the game Yuck This is a picture of her She could play like Ellie's weird. Especially after the game. Yuck. She could play Ellie's weird friend who's like a jaded lesbian or something. I don't know. Anyway.

They just don't look the same. They don't look even close. I'm not going to say the 14-year-old from the original game is smoked. I think she's 14. Oh no! Shut up. So stupid.

Anyway, I just think the, yeah, look, the accuracy is a little off. It's definitely off. Anyway, I made a little joke because everybody's complaining about one thing. Classic Vito. And then I take it the other way and I say part of the appeal of the original Last of Us was the will-they-won't-they dynamic between Joel and Ellie. This ruins that. That's a good joke.

She's so ugly. I fucking hate you guys. Yeah, Joel and Ellie. This ruins that. That's a good joke. She's so ugly. I fucking hate you guys. Yeah, Joel's not going to fuck her. Vito's Twitter. That's my Twitter. Good catch. Vito's Twitter. Vito V.

I keep obsessively screenshotting my Twitter, you fucking idiot. Isn't that what you want Twitter for? No. Why do you have it then? To post to yourself? Because it's a fucking little little it wraps its arms around you and you feel like you gotta update it with every little stupid thought you have or you're not this audience will keep wrapping your its arms around you until you're dead yes i'm dying uh

let's see veto is this you power glove hand job sent this in let me try to pull this up. Is this you? This is the guy who discovered semen, I think. Oh, well don't read this because I'm using this later. Okay. Yes, close out of that. And then Rem Dickman says, Dick, this needs to be read in your voice. I think it's the same

thing you sent me. Yes. Do you want me to read this? I thought you might. I mean, Andrew Tate is updating us from live from prison. Okay. I want to know what's happening. Andrew! Sorry, sorry. My throat's a little

sore. Oh no. You got to go to prison. Vito, ultimate hustler's paradise. The government pays you to work. Work out all day. I stole this joke from a meme. So, Andrew, I mean, I heard you're not having the best time in prison.

There's a lot going on, but I mean, do you have a statement about your ongoing troubles in the Matrix? The government took my cars. That's not good. How can I tell young men to reject consumerism without my 33 Bugattis and lead bikinis? Oh, yeah, they're taking all your stuff. They're seizing your mansion. But it looks like you put out a statement of some sort. They took my brother away from me.

They put us in cells We can't even touch each other You miss touching your brother I miss touching my brother We sleep together every night Andrew, but you need to be You have to be strong for the face of the masculinity movement, right? You want to hear my statement?

I do want to hear your statement, Andrew. I keep forgetting I have to tilt my head this way. I was made for battle. For battle. A warrior of the light. There's been too much winning going on for the real world. Wow. My enemies hope to attack me with lies

from the matrix yeah I do nothing but prove everything I have been saying all along right they just needed to shut me up why though well could Tate isn't good for the matrix oh Tate is good for individualism. They do not want you to surround yourself with powerful men, ice cream men, and Bugatti's Veyrons. They destroyed the family unit. I am the family unit with my 20 whores and my 60 supercars and hypercars and my brother and cuddling up to Sneeko and he looks like he's being groomed

and raped in the video that people post and we keep grabbing him and sticking him around. That's the family unit that they're trying to destroy. Well, don't rape Sneeko, Tate. Meet the night with

Tristan and Sneeko. That's what I missed. That's what I missed. That's what I need. They destroyed the family unit until they banned any loud opposition. Yeah. Wow. An idea cannot die, Vito. Okay.

Okay. I'll be back online soon. You think you're gonna get those cars back? No, I have better cars. I'll be back online soon. You think you're going to get those cars back? No, I have better cars. I have other cars and space cars. Where did all your women go? All the ones you had locked in that bunker. Hopefully they was buried with the house.

Like a pyramid. Yeah, they sealed it up with all the women inside. I refuse to leave my fellow men in the dark, Vito. Yeah. Someone needs to show sense of light. Who better than Tate? I ask you, who better than Tate? I can think of some people who might be better for leading our nation's young men.

Name one. Not you. Name one. Their fathers maybe Like you know Their actual families Support units Friends

Don't say the F word If you were a woman I would strangle The fuck out of you Right now Alright Alright Andrew Alright goodbye

Have fun in prison buddy I'm gonna go find my brother Wow What a great job What a Thanks for I'm glad he called in again Thanks Rem

To check in I should have charged you money for that though, okay Um, you want to start your probably 630 salvo is gonna be in here soon. Well real quick Okay, I Want to do a voted up segment? Okay, and I want to lead into it with this is kind of a tribute song Oh cool that I did not sing but a kind of commemorates Okay some important things. Just play it.

You'll see. Oh, Ashley Babbage. Oh, yeah. Okay. That's me singing that. And big red glowing eyes. Yeah, all right. Three times a day.

Devil in disguise. Yeah, yeah. That bitch came to Washington to destroy the monarchy. What did you get? Some gay guy off Fiverr to sing a stupid song you wrote. It's Ashley Babbitt, that's the... Yeah, it's Ashley Babbitt, Death Bay, of course. I thought I could make it like a duet, you know, with me and myself.

No, give it a second. Oh, okay. No. Give it a second. But a hero cop shot her ass. So we could all be free. I'm saying Ashley Babbage. That stupid bitch.

A devil in disguise. That fucking whore. Three horns and crooked scales. I'd bring her back to life just to kill her once more. That bitch came to Washington to destroy my machine. Dumb muggle witch. Terrorist slut. But a hero cop shot her ass. And if you disagree, Then you can vote it up

Vote it up folks The exciting segment Are we talking about Hey well her mom got arrested today Isn't that fun Rest in piss What Rosa Parks Arrested for

She was trying to ride the bus too hard Jaywalking Dick come People downvoted this problem From last week She was trying to ride the bus too hard. Jaywalking? Jaywalking. Dick, come. People downvoted this problem from last week. But I think they might reconsider after this new tidbit that you were getting into. That the men who discovered sperm also thought it was disgusting. Yeah.

Formerly discovered by Anthony Phillips Van Wenhoek, a 17th century Dutch scientist and the father of microbiology. At first, he avoided examining semen due to his religious beliefs. This was the man who invented the high-powered telescopes or microscopes of his time. What an asshole. Well, everybody was like, everybody kept going to this guy and being like, can you look at this? Look at this. Look at this.

Look at this. Look at this. Literally, that was his whole life. And all these people kept going to him. They're like, hey, hey you gotta look at what's in that shit look at my hand look at my hand well he looked at semen even though he personally found it unseemly but he finally caved to the public pressure in 1677 he looked at it and wrote to the royal society about what he saw. He said, if your lordship should consider that these observations may disgust or scandalize the learned, I earnestly beg your lordship to regard them as private and to destroy them as your lordship sees fit.

So he saw the semen snakes and he said, I don't think the learned man should know of this. Anyway, that problem is currently number 312 with 230 down votes. Vote it down. I think you should vote that one up. It's a dumb problem. It's a great program. Great problem.

Another great problem, Dick, from episode 43 was criminalizing heterosexuality. Yeah. And I want you to take a look at this video right now and tell me if you think there's anything wrong with this man. Okay. The video I sent you a second ago. whoops did i not load it right it was on youtube right uh oh that's why that's there i think so yes okay are you sure yeah it's a short stuff something good sir your car's awesome what do you do for a living

play golf and fondle big-breasted women. Yeah! I take weekends and major holidays off. Okay! That is quite the career. I'm looking to get into that. Also, if you're interested, I got a hell of a dental plan. Okay! You do it all. You do it all. And you participate in this activity. Oh, man.

He's laughing like he's about to get a fall dick. Good sir. Your car's awesome. What do you do for a dick. Good sir. You're kind of awesome. What do you think? This Apple Vice President Tony Blevins. Hey, I wish I could play golf and fondle. Well, yeah, but I have to move the thing because I don't know what I have. I could have fucking super boys and friends. I get it.

Okay. Well, that was, of course, Apple Vice President Tony Blevins, who has been fired from Apple after 22 years following this viral video. Again, answering, I have rich cars, play golf and fondle big breasted women. This video apparently resulted in complaints from several hundred employees regarding this man's horrible heterosexual proclivities. This is, again, the former vice president has been terminated.

We don't know specifically if it was this video, but that's what he's claiming. He's got plenty of money, whatever. Still, they're criminalizing heterosexuality, dick. It's terrible. Yeah. That's problem number 125 with 330 upvotes. Don't forget to vote it up. That's happening to Salvo, too.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. I don't want to hear myself anymore. Weird to hear that, I bet. Do you want to start us off with the problem today? Oh, because I'm the winner? Yeah. Yeah, let's do it.

Well, you know what? As long as we're talking about the beauty of January 6th, the day that we destroyed a terrorist sleeper cell led by the terrorist Ashley Babbitt, there's a lot of people who cast doubt on that official version of events, which has been fact-checked across the board. These people like to claim that the event was some sort of false flag.

And my problem, Dick, is the false false flags. I honestly can't fucking believe that that's what false flag, false false flag meant. You're talking about today? I'm talking about all sorts of the fbi bullshit ray epps pushing the protesters in and the fbi opening the fucking door hold on the magnetically sealed door go ahead hold on so i think it was on our bonus episode i can't fucking

believe you come at me with this ray epps coming at you right now bitch what are you trying to claim you're trying to claim ray Epps is an FBI agent? Yeah. He's not an FBI agent. Yes, he is. How? Because he said, everybody tomorrow, we're going into the Capitol. Baked Alaska caught him.

And then he said to Congress, then he texted his nephew, I orchestrated it. That doesn't make him an FBI agent. Why was he doing all this stuff then? Why was he doing all this stuff then? These claims about Ray Epps have been made on Fox News and come from your typical right-wing grifter psychopaths, largely based on a video taken just before violence erupted at the Capitol, showing Mr. Epps whispering into the ear of a man named Ryan Samsel. Have you seen that?

No. Oh, maybe. I don't know. I know the FBI did it. They opened the magnetic doors. The tomb was empty. Mr. Epps is a former Marine. He's 60 years old. Where do you think the

FBI recruits from, jackass? Fucking army. Everybody's a fed. Everybody's a false flag. If you said, what's his background? I would have said military. The day it happened, what were they all telling us? Well, actually Antifa dressed up as right-wing guys, and they snuck in there. That's true, too. That happened a lot of places, too.

All the violence and stuff. Stupid bullshit. This has become the problem of our ongoing inability to live in reality, perpetrated by people like Alex Jones and Tucker Carlson, whatever the fuck else is that anytime something doesn't fit the way you feel about the world, if you're a guy and you go, well, all this right wing guys are upstanding citizens who would never possibly commit violence and break into a fucking congressional hall of law. My fucking head is going to explode.

Then you get to go, well, that just means everything that disagrees with what I am is a secret Antifa FBI federal agent false flag event. You know what? You're a fed. You're a fucking fed sent here by the government to pacify me. I wish I was a fed. Buddy up to me. You're probably getting paid big bucks.

I would be a great fucking fed because you guys are idiots. No podcaster eats like you. That's true. Where does all my money come from? Guys It's the same shit It's all The crisis actor

False flag Nonsense Every time there's a school shooting You go Well that's just the feds They hire a bunch of kids And pay them a lot Don't give me that little look

Like well What happened with stagecoach What happened to Vegas then? Where'd that guy go? He's what He's fucking unloading and then he's gone. And then his brother who said something's fucked here is found with terabytes of kiddie porn in his fucking hard drive. That doesn't make no sense.

It makes perfect sense. Lots of guys have brothers who are child pornography enthusiasts, I'm sure. Happens all the time. Look, I'm not saying the feds have never, not ever done anything sneaky or whatever. They always are doing sneaky stuff. That's their job. They don't have infinite resources to achieve global now. Just open a door.

How's that fucking? Oh, yeah. Hey, everybody, tomorrow we got to go in there and fuck the place up, everybody. I told you that the MAGA heads are dumb enough to open a door on their own account, and they don't need an FBI guy to push it open for them. Who opened it from the inside? Was it locked? Was the door of Congress locked with a big fucking mob outside?

They were breaking windows to get in. Maybe somebody from inside was one of the guys, and they unlocked it because they're friends of the guys. Have you not seen the footage of the FBI? Somebody just going like, do-do-do-do-do, boink, open that up. All right, they left the door open. They weren't expecting a million people to come running in Maybe they left some doors open They were expecting it

Because they were paying guys like Ray Epps To go get it started You know how many guys they had like Ray Epps? Ray Epps just got caught because Baked Alaska filmed him They probably had 200, 100 They probably had 200 Isn't he the same guy? You're saying the guy like the previous day who was yelling

Yeah About going in You're saying that was also Ray Epps? That was Ray Epps. I haven't seen that. The only thing, tomorrow we got to go into the, we don't got to go to the, Big Flask said we got to go to the Capitol. He goes, we got to go into the Capitol.

And he goes, no. And everybody starts going, fed, fed, fed, fed. They had hundreds of guys like that going, we got to go into the Capitol. That's how you sneaky liberal fucks operate. Or there's just one old guy who really wanted to cause trouble who again. And he didn't go to jail? Well, he didn't go in. I don't think it's the same guy.

I think you're referring to a different guy. We'd have to look it up. Ray Epps whispered in a guy's ear. Yeah. And right after that guy went and slugged a cop. So the theory was he told that guy, hey, go punch that cop. But what he actually said was,

hey man, calm down. These cops are just doing their jobs. And the guy who punched the cop confirmed that that's what he said to him. Yeah, but what's... So what, are you going to problem with punching cops now? What are you? I thought you were a Ralph-a-mail.

Look, I have my own problems with cops okay but it is still clearly illegal and if it leads to breaking into the capital it's not good either yeah regardless okay what about this i don't know why you love the capital so much it's not just the capital if you guys did it i'd say that's awesome i don't love the capital okay but again there's like that group that patriot front group Front group. Okay. It's a bunch of like paramilitary white supremacist guys. More feds. Wow. How do you know they're feds? Why are they feds? They're fucking

doing bad stuff. They're doing stuff that you know about. That's how I know they're feds. If they were feds, like anyone could just like, you can't have that many guys. They know who they are. They have their names. They can trace them back. There are journalists who identify their members all the time. They aren't all feds.

What about the KGB? That was like half the fucking country was KGB. That was in Russia. It's so different over there. They're not as retarded as we are, I guess. Okay, wait. Here, let me just ask you this. What about that fake kidnapping plot for that governor that was entirely orchestrated by the FBI?

Yeah. You agree that that was entirely orchestrated by the FBI. Yeah. You agree with that? That was feds. I agree that the feds occasionally, as they infiltrate these groups, push too far to try and push people into illegal activity. Okay. That doesn't,

but this was not, why would that, why would they do that? But didn't we find, but didn't that, what do you call it? For, uh,

because of that kidnapping plot, because as they bring charges, they have to identify, like, yes, our agents were within this group, right? Yeah, sometimes. Well, none of that has ever happened with January 6th. They haven't said, well, you know, we had this operative, whatever the fuck else. It's kind of got a lot bigger than the other one, didn't it? It's like a national, it's like the Holocaust of the U.S. Well, they've made it into a Holocaust.

Regardless, look, I'm not saying that the feds don't ever do anything, but it's always immediately, no matter what it is, no matter how inconsequential. Like in Charlottesville, when that car hit that lady, everybody immediately was like, that's just a fed. No, it's a racist weirdo who wants to hit people with a car. No, they were threatening him with a gun. Before that, they were saying we're going to fucking... I'm not going down this fucking route again.

What did we end up talking about? The Charlottesville Hornets? Hornets. He was just going hard in the paint. He was just giving a drive down the court. You ignorant slut. Another player got... The feds are responsible for everything, every crime in America.

The one that drove me the most nuts. They steal your bikes. No. They had They steal your bikes. No. They had sex with your wife. Okay, but you know that it gets down to the point where people are ridiculous with the things

they claim as a crisis actor scenario. Sandy Higg, yeah. Oh, yes. Okay, the school shooting stuff is ridiculous. Yeah. That David Hogg kid, when, what do you call it,

the Parkland shooting happened, everybody started digging into that. No, he's not a fed. I'm going to kill myself. They started digging into that. No, he's not a fed. I'm going to kill myself. They started digging into that kid, and they found that he was on the news. I'd like to dig into that kid, if you know what I'm saying.

Gross. Gross. They found that he was on the news in California like a year ago. And then people, including Infowars, started saying, well, that's curious He's been on the news before, huh? Almost like the FBI was training him to make sure that he could perform well

In a newsworthy situation and say his lines Meanwhile, the story in California was that he saw his friend get accosted by a cop Because of a stolen boogie board or something And I'm like, so hold on Boogie board because of a stolen boogie board or something. And I'm like, so hold on. Boogie board. Why are you boogie boarding in Englewood? I don't know.

He wasn't in Englewood. That story doesn't make sense. Another Fed. Another Fed stole his boogie board. You really think the FBI is out there training teenage kids? Like, all right, I don't know if you're ready for the school shooting scenario. First, we have to train you on the local news for the boogie board theft wait yeah i do i do think they're out there training not in the way you're saying but yes okay they're training kids to what like do loyalty to the same shit that like african warlords do just over the internet like on discord and 4chan like

trying to see their penises and then like using that to manipulate them into like getting on drugs and doing crazy shit. What kind of government? What do you think the government is exactly? Can we just, like, can you guys just, like, find some evidence? Again, Ray Epps is a former Marine who owns a wedding venue. So, a murderer already. We know he's not right.

If he's an FBI agent, you could just, like, dig up what he's been doing over the past 20 years. Probably find more than. How could I do that? What am I going to. If this guy orchestrated. Like a fucking lawnmower man. If this guy orchestrated January 6th, you could have all these right wing fucking journalists investigating, investigating his background, whatever else. But they won't because they know they have nothing. Bro. It's the same as when Trump went at that black lady and said, oh, she's been stealing ballots

for decades. And everybody went, yeah, she's a secret Antifa. And it's like an angel, like an 80 year old black lady who just signed up to be an election like vote counter. She's not a fed. She's just an old lady. This is nonsense. Look, look, look, look.

Here's why I think Your problem is bad And why everyone Should vote it down Shut up Because Because The government

Lies All the time Almost all the time An obscene amount And they're doing They're doing a sickening Amount of crimes They are

The US government Is the most The biggest criminal Violent organization On the planet Shut up You should question Every What do you Do you not think That's true The government The government Is the biggest criminal violent organization on the planet. You should question every, what do you,

do you not think that's true? The government kills The government is the biggest criminal organization. It funds either directly or by funding in proxy wars. Like, we're funding fucking violence all over the planet. Everything they do should be questioned until they wear out from trying to

convince you of it. Like, no, no, no, don't believe you, don't believe you, don't believe you. The problem is that it's fine to question things, but the guys who are benefiting from the wild questioning are all like, yeah, it's all fake, by the way, vote for me and buy my book and whatever else, and are doing their own version of lying to benefit from a situation that in reality seems quite possible. Okay. Like these guys who are making money off being like, no, there is a secret Jewish conspiracy.

And they did pretend to kill all those kids. We don't have time in this episode. The point is that you can't say everything is a false flag. You have to be very. You literally can. No. No, you can. You will is a false flag. You have to be very... You literally can. No. No, you can. You will be right more often than not. But it happens immediately without any evidence. Again, with

January 6th, they said, they'll ask you to stay at Tifa. There was like one guy there who was like an Antifa guy, and they said he orchestrated the whole thing until it came out and he was just retarded. How do I know what? That it didn't happen? And there was only one guy. They all could have been I'm saying

There was one guy That they focused on at first Yeah And then you guys Couldn't nail it on him So then you move on To another guy Nail it on somebody

And you can't nail it on them And now you've arrived We're gonna figure this mystery At Ray Epps That's called fucking Solving mysteries Like Sherlock Holmes You know

You don't just Divine it correctly You're like just People solving the Balenciaga mysteries And trying to track down Wayfair product numbers. It's all the same shit.

We're going to find those kids. I hope you find those kids. I hope you find all the kids that Balenciaga trafficked. Yeah, we are. You false flag conspiracy theory weirdo nutjobs. Then you'll just think that you caused that somehow. Conspiracy theories used to be interesting because they used to have little facts and tidbits,

and now it's just literally anything happens, you go, Well, it's the feds! The feds did it! It is the feds. That guy's a fed and that guy's a fed. It's not even interesting anymore. You don't even know how many feds that you've come in contact with. It's boring. I've seen you talking to feds in my house.

I'm like, I should tell Vito. Nah, I won't. I'll let him fucking figure it out for himself for the first time he finds somebody who's a fed. I do wonder which of our acquaintances are feds. I know some of them must be. You don't know shit about the stuff you're talking about. Fuck you! You can't just say that.

You can't just declare, you don't know shit about. That's such a bullshit tactic to like destroy my vote total. Well, you're retarded. Fuck fuck you that's not a point why would you bring this in on this day because because last time on our bonus episode which everyone should listen to yeah you brought in this ray epps guy and i'm like well that's fascinating

an fbi agent was telling people to go into the capital look at him but he's not an fbi informant worker you guys always criminal guys always do this shit. Criminal accomplice. Where you make me pause for a second. You should pause. That's good. Yeah, and then I look it up, and it's always a lie. You're always lying.

Keep looking for the truth, Vito. Stop lying. That's not a lie. He's a confirmed FBI agent. He's been working for 40 years. He's in the fucking military. Do you think that? What do you think?

Those guys all come out, and they're like, oh oh yeah, derp, derp, derp. Now I'm just on the, my fucking whole life in service was a total waste of time. I'm not going to help the FBI with anything. Get out of here. I think that the right has access to all your little journalist sneaky guys. Why don't you send in your project Veritas, whatever the fuck, and catch him on tape. But all you have is him. Maybe we will.

Good. Maybe we will send in James O'Keefe III. Is that his fucking name right? Maybe we will send him in. Because he's never gotten anything of value. It's always bullshit. If we do that. False, false flags.

Knock it off, guys. It's becoming tiresome. Okay. Oh, my God. We only have ten minutes for my problem because you fucking wasted it. No, because you challenged me on every two seconds of it. What you're saying is preposterous. Okay. Everything is a false flag. Every single thing.

You'd be like... Nothing in history has ever happened. If it was World War II... It was all secret warlords working behind the scenes. If it was World War II, you'd be like, guys... I would be like, guys, you might not want to fuck around with these French women that want to fuck you. There might be spies.

You might be giving away like, you'd be like, look at this fucking dick-dust. These French women are here. We're badass soldiers. They want to fuck us. They want to get down. Let's go, guys. Let's fuck these whores. And the next day, we wake up dead because we got bombed. And in this example, we are both Nazis.

I hope that that was clear to you. I don't agree to this theoretical situation. I'm not there. You're there. I am far away. This is worse than cum. No, that was great. Yeah, you brought in.

Fuck you. False, false flaggers. Everything's a false flag. Everybody's a fag. Like global warming. Is Bake Alaska a fag? No. Have you talked to him?

No. Talk to him for about 10 seconds. Is he going to jail? Yeah. No. He's not. He's coming to fucking jail. Some of the other J6 guys called into my show last week.

They're going to jail for four years for like just like evidence knocking over trash cans yeah shredding that's evidence destruction they're like how like well it's you know it's a congressional uh paper and you trashed it uh so you're going to jail wow cool ashley babbitt really led those guys into a bad situation good thing she's dead and can't trick any anymore Of our young men Into throwing their lives away Alright My problem is Gimmick Twitter accounts

Yeah It's a lot of them Yeah I hate them all Cause they all They all like Betray They all get big

And then they betray their joke Yeah You know At some point Like you remember the God Twitter account Oh that's the worst. He was just doing God stuff

and everyone had a good time. And then he rug pulled. When he realized he could make money on it. No, then he just got triggered and started going, fuck you, to all of Trump's tweets. Oh. Yeah. Every announcement. You dropped the gimmick. Fuck you. It's like, this is like, bro, we just

had like one. Was Maddox running that account secretly people thought that it feels like his kind of people suggested that the incel replies Remember that one no shit. I should bring these up. There's a lot of people posting their L's as a common theme Incel let me see incel replies Twitter Oops, I dropped all my stuff. I was having fun. Can you hand me that? Yes.

I was having fun with my gimmick Twitter account, the Victory News Network. Oh, yeah. Which I then had to morph into my new Twitter account because they deleted all my other ones. You wish. Yeah, let me see this one. Savage reply. I guess I assumed you would know these. I assumed you would work up a list of them in preparation for the show. I did, but I didn't. Savage reply. I guess I assumed you would know these. I assumed you would work up a list

of them in preparation for the show. I did, but I didn't. Damn it. No, I didn't really prepare. See, what actually happened was What about the ones that are like dick show out of context? No, I like that one. Those are fun. The one actually that I'm talking about is bad medical

takes. You know that one? Bad medical takes. And a woman said why is there so much autism and I said because pregnant women are getting so fat did I get reposted by bad medical takes yeah that's hilarious did they not realize it was a joke it's not a joke that's what autism is coming from it's because women are so fat yeah it's too many chromosomes getting leashed another kid with all the cheetahs many many calories. Too many calories in that kid. To count.

That's why I elect autistic kids. The kid can't count. To count all the calories coming by. Because he's got to count all the calories coming in. You're a fucking idiot. So then I said, diagnosis triggered, and I got blocked right away. And I was like, oh, so you're just like a fat chick running this account, and now you're all pissed off that maybe you're probably fat with an autistic kid, so now you're extra

pissed off, because you know it's probably true What I'm saying Well so you're narrowing it down to a certain subset of It's the people who don't put their all into the gimmick account They kind of make it their own little personal soapbox Hey damn it I wish I could Let me pull this one up

Incel, Pika Because there's a lot of good gimmick accounts Incel But then like you know Libs of TikTok Which could have been funny Has turned into like a whole Like preachy

Like here's the address Of the hospital So you can go Just straight homophobic Yeah It's just I mean I'm like okay

You really like Just don't like anything gay I hate saying it And they go But we're just reposting Whatever And I'm like yeah But like you're doing it

And then you like Post their address And like how to Fucking call them up And it's like Why are you doing that That's not fun or interesting In any way um well i'm trying to think what other great twitter gimmick accounts are out there oh fake veto i hate that fucking guy that's a great can

someone leave me the fucking one that i'm talking about the one the incel one with the incel replies yeah he posted this thing saying oh this is this is my girlfriend you wish you had a girlfriend like this i found this so easily on my own fucking thing and your point from this one was what he posted something you found stupid no he turned into an asshole he's fighting with you not me no this is just how gimmick accounts are i remember seeing one where like somebody gimmick accounts drop dropping character is a good gimmick

account. Yeah. That's exactly what I'm talking about. When they fuck up and accidentally retweet porn on their main. Because I like them, but then I remember that I can't fall in love with them or like them too much. Yeah. Because they're going to betray me at any moment.

A lot of people don't know how to do a character. They don't commit to the bit. They're lazy. Yeah. Like me, I've been doing this Vito character for like years now and you guys all like him. Dame Pesos actually sent in this

strange gimmick account that posted this. Uh-oh. It said, Adding a P to LGBT is the most backwards and moronic thing I've ever heard. Please stop trying to piggyback pedophile acceptance on the back of civil rights strides. LGBT people have accomplished.

They don't deserve that association. And that gimmick account was Vito Giswaldi. Wait, what's wrong with what I posted? That's a good tweet. Because you're a gimmick account that's always promoting pedophiles. Somebody legitimately posted and they said,, there was like an actual like science guy and he's like, it should be LGBT for pedophile. And I was like, absolutely not.

Yeah, no. All I've ever said about pedophiles is they have a mental health problem and they need medical assistance. Not that they should be- Here's the incel pickup line. Do you still think my girlfriend is 13? Like, what 13 like what this is not the gimmick here, man? Please stop doing what you're doing, but he keeps posting pictures of his fucking girlfriend. Oh is that's his actual girlfriend Yeah, he's posted her a bunch of times

What so the gimmick is now just fighting with people? It's a Jurassic Park kind of situation Like you're standing on the shoulders of giants And then you use it to get out your weird personal grudges I think everybody Well, you know what I'm going to say is the biggest problem Is that the only Twitter accounts that seem to get any traction Are gimmick accounts It's like that's the only thing people care about on Twitter

They don't care about Oh no, here's the worst one. I'm going to say the N-word one. I'm going to say the N-word in two weeks. I'm going to say the N-word in a week. Did he do it? No. He did some dumb video. You didn't see that? Oh man, I was

like every day I would wake up and I'd be all pissed off, but then I'd be like, ooh, remember that guy's going to say the N-word. That guy's going to say the n-word it was like an advent calendar for like adult straight men and every day i would check and sometimes you go like this many seconds i'm saying the n-word i'm like all right i always thought that my family two days get ready where you gonna i wonder what time it's gonna be and then the big day came and he posted a video of him dressed as the Joker making a drink talking And then he was gonna say it and a weird like a Batman came out of nowhere and tackled him from saying it and that

Was the end of the video and then he got his PayPal hacked and I was like, oh good fuck You fucked around with everyone's emotions I always want I always wanted like uh one of these guys like pewdiepie should say you know mr beast is like beating him and like subs yeah he should say like if i beat mr beast and subs again i will say the n word again again yeah on accident on accident then i will accidentally say it again everybody would start subbing again they'd be like oh my god we got to get pewdiepie to say it again god damn it i subbing again. They'd be like, oh my God, we got to get PewDiePie to say it again. God damn it. I can't find it. It would have been an interesting problem, but

I didn't write any of these down. And you didn't prepare. So good work. I didn't know you were going to take so long. If I had taken less time, would you have what? Made your problem better? Yeah. How? I don't know. I would have found stuff to don it

when I had more energy. Why didn't you do that before I came over, you fucking idiot? I don't know why. I thought I saved the links, but I guess I didn't. Well, what time is it? Okay, let's see if Salvo Pancakes is here. Let's see if Salvo's here. Who is supposed to call in at 7. Is it 6.59?

Is that what it says? Cameras. There we are. Ask to join. Don't show that again ask to join oh is he running the meat cone i don't know it kicked me out that's strange yeah well we're gonna see if we can get salvo on the line to bring us on his site biggest problems and i'll be real i don't complete i mean i don't completely understand the Salva situation it's the idea that he's

he has a wife you don't know anything I believe it's the idea that he's been sexting with all these different girls online when he is in fact married if I'm incorrect, I'm sure he'll tell me let me make a new make a new meet

did he message you at all? Yeah, he's coming. Start an instant meeting. Salvo used to be one of these guys who... No, that's just me. He had some videos. He's now deleted. He used to come at me for some reason.

Why on earth? Why would that happen? I can't imagine it. But then it seemed like he was kind of turning things around. And now it turns out he pees on people. Or he wants to pee on people. He wants women to be his daughter and to pee on them.

Yeah, that's cool. I don't know if that's cool. What do you want to do with women? I don't personally have a problem with it I just, I want to see what I think a lot of these guys You know, they always They want to establish this

Oh, I'm so Chad, I'm like ultra Chad I'm like, yeah, but like You know, you're into clown porn and pee porn And you're just as fucked as everybody else. And that's fine. Mm-hmm. As long as you own up to it. Why?

Why do you got to own up to it? For the same reason as all these masculinity guys who go, I'm the ultimate man. I would never put a dildo in my ass. And then you find out all they do is put dildos in their ass. It's like their favorite fucking thing in the world. And you go, I wouldn't have a problem with this except for all the times you told me you would never put a dildo in your ass. And now it's weird. There was a racist dog

gimmick account. It started barking at liberal racism and everyone had a fucking problem. And there was another dog account that started to donate to Planned Parenthood and everyone had a problem. Remember that? Yeah, there was a lot of interesting stuff going on during the whole Planned Parenthood thing.

Like, I know we can't have nice stuff, because it's got to go to Ukraine. Shut up. But at least we could have nice jokes and stuff. So we're sending a bunch of those tanks we make that we don't want anymore. We're sending those to Ukraine, so that's good. I wanted those. Yeah, everybody in America should get a tank. Just me.

Me and some other guys. Doesn't need to be everyone. Yeah. You want to play voicemails a little bit for him? Yeah, okay. Let's do some voicemails. We have another problem. You could do another problem.

Yeah, but I'm worried if I do a problem, he's going to sneak in. Well, that's okay. Maybe he won't even sneak in. Well, I guess he could listen to my problem if he gets here. Okay. You want me to do a problem? Yeah, sure. Uh, Dick, you ever go to, like, the store, you're just trying to walk around, push your cart, shoplift some magic

cards, whatever it is, and there's always, like, just kids running around this fucking store, or maybe they're with their parents or whatever else. And you're like, I know that kids are going to walk right in fucking front of me like an idiot. Right into my dick. Like spinning around. Yeah. And like looking at shit.

And I'm like, you know, I have to move to make room for this stupid child, either that or knock him to the ground. My problem, Dick, is the spatial awareness of children. Or I'm always on those sites or I used to be you know You can watch videos of people dying Besides that well used to be there was our watch people die, which was great Oh that way then it became our make my coffin that's gone now okay now. I think you Oh wait, well Vito your problem sucks. I'll put it on hold. Now we have to go to Salvo. Salvo pancakes! Hey, sorry about that. I joined the first link and it reset it up. It died on me. I don't know why it kicked me out for some reason. How are you? Oh, I'm so good dick and Vito good to be here

So you've had you've really been you've been rolling with this really great, I think, to me. I think he's handling it expertly. Yeah. How do you think your performance has been so far? I think excellent. I think it's been an A-plus performance. I mean, how else am I supposed to handle this? Am I supposed to come out and, like, fucking deny and, like, cry woe is me?

I sexted 28 fucking whores on the internet. 28? How did you get any comedy done and you're sexting whores all day? Listen, these girls knew what they were getting. They knew what kind of casual fucking sex escapades I was looking for. They didn't take too much time up they were

hey i texted them hey i'm horny and they're like okay do you want to call and they would strip down naked and fuck themselves they would fuck themselves some of them would fuck themselves and like i would sit back like a fucking god and walk so how did you get undone like which one of them like got all pissy and found out you were talking to other ones? Oh, pissy, Vito, that's below the... You snuck that in there, didn't you, to make fun of Saldar? No, I honestly didn't. Using piss words.

Well, whatever. Alright, so the first they were getting pissy, and then they actually got pissy. Yeah, so how did, like... Who broke the fucking, you know, the game? So my own people. So I kept like a quote unquote news team around to kind of like troll along with me on the internet. Yeah.

And one of them ended up dating one of the girls that I was sexting with. So she kind of like slowly told him some shit oh what a bitch i know i mean first of all that's fucked for you but secondly why the fuck would you tell a guy you just started dating this you're drinking piss for salvo pancakes i know and that guy's like still with her it's like dude like have some fucking dignity don't date the girl that's fucking drinking piss for me so it's like they uh kind of curated all the girls together uh to kind of come out um with this big expose so started with this was all consensual it sounds like these women all consented to sexual misbehavior. All consensual.

And that's what's so funny about it. It's like I knew it was coming out for like two weeks. Yeah. So once it came out, I kind of stepped away for five days, didn't say anything. And really, when I came back and kind of owned it and like, what are they going to do? It was consensual.ual adults I'll say this Salvo that was the one thing that I always say is that the guys who don't own it

are they out themselves as fucking even because then you go how weird are you if you won't even admit to this you must be up to something way worse I think that's been Flamenco's biggest problem is if Flamenco just came out and said like yeah I jerk off to weird fucking stupid hentai of people spanking and shoving dildos up their ass or whatever the fuck else we go

Yeah, obviously he's into anime. He's into weird shit. Yeah, it's the denying it and trying to be like well You actually you don't understand blah blah. Well, yeah, but then flamenco was in that german like pedophile steve That you can't that you can't own he was. That you can't own. Vito, you know as well as anybody, it's hard to own being a pedophile. You can't own being a pedophile, Selva. You just can't do it.

You tried. You tried, Vito. You tried and you failed. I did not try to own being a pedophile. It's not what happened, you motherfuckers. No, but I can't be upset with you, Selva, not try to own being a pedophile. It's not what happened. Motherfuckers. No, but I can't be upset with you, Selva, because it sounds like you are owning it. And that's actually very... Honestly...

Or you'd be upset with him if he was like, ew, no, I hate piss. Well, no, because it also... I don't think... Well, I don't think you've ever... I don't know if you're ever on the record of being like, oh, whatever. You had a problem with the way he was going at Flamenco, though, didn't you? You called into that show. Which show?

Tommy something, Seacoast or something. Oh, no, I just called in because in the past, Salvo made videos being like, oh, Vito's a sexual degenerate or whatever. Yeah. But now you are a sexual degenerate. Yeah, I always was a sexual degenerate. Okay. You're having threesomes with guys.

I was having a bit of a shooting fruity type situation where I was like, oh, good. Well, now you also are in the same boat. Yeah. You know, you're also a pedophile. We're not just fucking with you. Guys, we're having a threesome right now. The three of us. Is that turning you on, Salvo?

Yeah, yeah. This is real. Usually, I like skinny little Mexican twinks fucking my women too, like Edwin, but, you know, I'll take Vito. I think it's positive when young men are open about their sexuality. I do too. Not that young. It sounds like you've had bisexual experiences or hope to someday.

No, I've not hoped to to i've hooked up with a couple very twinkies man and hooked up i kind of just let them suck my dick you know i totally understand that situation yeah uh i'm the odd man out i'm the queer one i know you're like salvo wait what's your problem do you have a biggest problem for us? Whores? I don't know. Tell us about whores. Why are whores such a problem? They're not a problem, man. They're so fun until they fucking do what all whores do,

and that's run their mouth. You know what I mean? Whores running their mouth is the problem. Yeah, whores running their mouth. Because, listen, at every uh experience i had with these e-whores they left satisfied they left feeling respected they always left on good terms but in the back of my head i knew one day that i'm gonna have to fucking uh uh reap what i showed you know what i mean yes you can fuck around with the whores, but the whores

will always try to win at the end. Well, that's why I don't, when I engage, I don't sext with, like, anybody who knows... Who you are? Yeah. I wait, like, months before I go, oh, by the way, I have, like, a YouTube or whatever the fuck else. Like, I keep that all private. Why? Because I don't trust any

of these fucking bitches. Who cares? We're not gonna write a fucking Medium article about all the horrible things I don't trust any of these fucking bitches. We're not gonna write a fucking Medium article about all the horrible things I made them do on camera for my amusement. Awesome. No, I don't want to deal with that shit. Go ahead, Bilbo. You know, it's so easy to just get a fan

to drink from the bowl, you know? Wait, what did you say to this one, girl? Mmm, so mellow. It was so yellow. Yummy, yummy, yummy. Yeah, I made her drink a lot of water, but not too much. You just said, go chug some water, get some liters in you. I want to make sure.

Yeah, I want to make sure that bowl's not the majority not clean toilet water. I want you to fill that up with your urine and make sure that you're doing it proper. This is why you're not flamenco is flamenco would go, oh, you know, I don't know about. Yeah, I made a girl drink pee, but, you know, if you just fucking. That's what people are saying. Allegedly, that's what people are saying. Somebody said that to me. I mean, I don't know if you say that, then that's what it is.

I don't know. It is what it is. Got off on drinking her own pee. It was fun for everybody. It was fun for everybody. Yeah, she probably had fun drinking. What did she say now? Did she say, I can't believe?

Oh, it's so funny. Is she saying you groomed her into drinking pee? No, because get this. The girl specifically, who's a sweetheart, by the way, who drank from the bowl has been the only girl to message me to say sorry and she regretted even saying anything. And she had fun and would do it again. How did she fit her head in the bowl?

Like, did she have to slurp? Like, use a straw? I don't want to know. Like a curry straw? No straw. She's a petite young lady. You know, they can fit in good places. What kind of bowl? Was this like a dog bowl?

Or just a regular bowl? I think it was a right It was an industrial flusher toilet bowl Yeah Okay So she peed in her own toilet Well then it's diluted You do straight urine, you're going to have a worse time

I spent a lot of time with my head in a toilet Next time you're going to have a piss in a dog bowl, Selva. And do you know what's so funny? Do you know what's so funny? What? Days before she came out with her side, she was going to a friend's house, and she was excited to pee on her friend's floor and lick it up for me. This is great.

How do you float something like this to these e-whores? Let's make your problem e-whores. E-whores spreading what do you call it? Rumors or whatever. Fuck these fucking e-whores. Sure, e-whores. It sounds like she's a nice lady though

so maybe she's not an e-whore. She's still an e-whore. This one's not a whore. She's a sweet little angel. She's not a nice lady, though, so maybe she's not an e-whore. No, she's not. Well, I mean, she's still an e-whore, but yeah. This one's not a whore. She's a sweet little angel. She's not a whore. See, Dick? But after, like, as she finished drinking from the bowl for the first time, I kind of, like, sit up and I go, I'm not satisfied.

And that's when I kind of floated around. I want the pee on the floor. I want the nose right on the bathroom ground. And she's like like i can do that i'm gonna go to my friend's house this weekend i don't want my mom to see me do this why would her friend let her pee on the floor what kind of fucking friend is this hey horse guy horse friends i was gonna say are they both gonna be peeing and sucking up urine from the tiles for you if they want to do that so basically it sounds like people are player hating yes

they're kink shaming they're player hating they're kink shaming i brought in kink shaming on this show as a problem you should not kink shame uh i heard you do that interview where you're like i got so much consent it would turn turn a normal woman off literally but I saw, I think it was, uh, uh, Boblax or Bloblax was, like, trying to browbeat this woman into saying, like, well, did you actually say yes? Did you say yes? That's the problem is all these, like, little concern trolls, all these

fucking incels, like Boblax, who probably never touched a woman. Uh, Boblax, I love you, but shut the fuck up and let the man, uh, trick women into peeing on the shit and sucking it up for his own damn it. If they say they want to do it, how is that a problem? I know. I know.

I don't think it is a problem. No, and it's weird that, yeah. Yeah, it's like when I had the threesome with Edwin, it's like on my mind, I'm like, this girl is so fucking lost from reality that she's willing to hang out with Keemstar, me, and Edwin at Keemstar's house. So it's like, I knew that she would do it. Was Keem aware that a threesome was

going on in his domicile? Uh, I don't think so, no. Snuck that one in. Jealous, probably. I think he is jealous i was well he ended up fucking her after um wait who is he ended up fucking edwin's girlfriend after dude yeah so after so the week that um she hung out with edwin and we went up to keemstar's house keemstar and brantley invited her on vacation,

and she went on vacation with Keemstar and Brantley alone. And I'm sure they had a bunch of sex. Edwin allowed that? Wait, is that his girlfriend? Yeah. And she said, I'm going on a little vacation with two strange men, and we'll see what happens. No, Edwin and this girl didn't, they weren't, like, official.

It's like, when I met this girl for the first time, Edwin was also meeting her for the first time. You know what I mean? Okay. Oh, God, that poor guy. So his girlfriend got banged out by you and then taken by Keemstar and his wife out to go. Keemstar and his retarded wife or whatever.

She can't hear right or something. So did you have a falling out with Keemstar and his retarded wife or whatever she can't hear right or something. So did you have a falling out with Keemstar? I guess I did. I mean, he's been trashing me pretty hard where I kind of have like no choice but to trash him back, you know? What is he trashing you with? Did you jerk off in his daughter's panties? I heard you saying something like that.

Listen, I spent a lot of nights up there. I spent a lot of nights up there lonely. I was jerking off on a lot of stuff so go ahead i was sexting with these women i just naturally like finish on my belly and instead of like walking across keemstar's house i would sleep in brantley's closet slash like bedroom so i would just find like a dress that she would wear and just wipe my uh come up with her clothes because come goes everywhere and you need it's so hard to deal with right uh yeah it's like i uh vote it up so you uh so keemstar's daughter's like dresses and stuff were your comrade while you were there oh yeah oh yeah how old is keemstar's daughter now, though? I don't know. I thought she was like an adult, but maybe I'm wrong.

It's his girlfriend. It's his girlfriend. But she's like would be in the same high school as Keemstar's daughter, you know? Oh, they're about the same age? Yeah, she's like 20 or something. Okay. Yeah, and she would always have like the cheapest, tackiest fucking fast fashion dresses from like sheen and some bullshit they made for great fucking like cum rags

you are a bisexual man paying attention to what dresses women are wearing and you uh you no longer have a wife or a girlfriend is that right correct i am officially single which is kind of just uh feeds the fire, Dick. Yeah. If you were sexting with 28 women before, what are you going to do now that you're known as the sexster and the piss drinker? The biggest problem is just finding new girls to sex. Like, that's the most annoying part of all this. Yeah.

I think you're going to come out. I think you're going to figure it out. I think you're going to find the right lady with the right ability to ingest human waste for your amusement. How'd the breakup go? My wife and I, we've been trying to get a divorce for over a year now. So we've been soft, separated here and there. And I guess this kind of just accelerated everything. It's kind of a blessing in a way it's like all right let's end this pouring piss on a fire yeah it was so relieved about all this coming out uh

you know she's uh she's very fucking hot i'm sure she's gonna have no trouble getting any dick any fucking guy she wants yeah was she not wild enough for you is that why you felt like you needed to branch out? She's like literally so beautiful, way above my fucking league, and she was so proper and pretty. She would never do any of this stuff. You couldn't treat her like a whore. I would never treat her like a queen.

So it's like she wasn't into any of this shit. That sucks. Good for you. Right at the height of – are you – so now that you're like – are you cut free of Keemstar? Are you going to go back on that show? Oh, I'll never go back on Keemstar. I'm free from everything that felt like a shackle. Oh, good.

I loved Fireball. That was like my favorite new thing of the year that you were doing that. I hope you keep doing that. I thought it was fun. It'll probably come back. It'll probably come back. It'll probably come back. I don't understand why Keem is breaking ties with you.

Is he upset about what you've done or was it other shit? Well, he couldn't pull in any sort of audience without me. So now his this is his opportunity to pull in some audience about me. Who's that stupid girl he has on there? Because she's the dumbest bitch I've ever listened to in my life.

No, that's his girlfriend. She's awful. Yeah, she's the worst. Oh, my God. She talks like she can't hear. Which is hilarious. That's the best sort of, like, diss I've heard about her voice. I was trying to listen to his stream about you,

and it's just two women billing. Oh, my God. He's, like, so gross. And it's, like, so gross. I'm like, who the fuck wants to listen to these dumb bitches? He's so grown. He's so grown. He's so grown.

Are you going to Ralph-a-mania? Yeah, so I want to issue an apology to Ethan Ralph, Dick, and if you can get this back to him, that would be fantastic. Exclusive. I can have him call in right now. Can you? That would be great. Yeah, we should do it here.

I want you guys to mend that bridge. Oh my God, this is going to work for once. Every time I try to do this, everybody hates each other forever. Let me get Ralph to call in right now. That'd be great, because I do owe him an apology, and I am kind of upset at Ralph,

but I'm upset at how he kind of took what I had to say about Ralph-a-mania on Tommy's stream, which I understand. I understand. I understand. You were talking a little bit of shit. I thought it was... It was a joke. I thought it was a funny joke. I thought it was a funny joke, too, that you weren't going

because you have to watch about optics. Yeah. Let me text him this thing. Are you close to Jersey? Is it far for you to get to that? I live in Ohio, but I got a lot of time. Yeah, you got nothing. I mean, all you need is a phone so you can virtually piss on women.

You could be anywhere. You could do that from anywhere in the country. How are you going to top yourself after the piss stuff? Do you have other fetishes? You want to get ahead of the game and drop on us now before they get outed by more whores? Dude, here's the thing. I think people really want me to get into poo.

I can't get into poo. Don't do poo. Don't do poo. Poo is a whole different bag from pee. It's too messy. Pee is mostly sterile, but there's a little, you got to be a warrior. There's a little bit of bacteria in there,

but it's not as bad as poo. Yeah, and like every girl that I ever- Spit is great. You can spit on a lady. Spit's fantastic as bad as poo. Yeah, and like every girl that I ever... Spit is great. You can spit on a lady. Spit's fantastic. Spit's fantastic. It's a lot of work. Spitting and like eventually you kind of hit a point

where you're like, I'm just like, I'm working by creating degrading things for you to do that you will do. This is exhausting. It's like Sisyphean, right? Just coming up with like, okay, lick it off your parents' floor, lick it off the yard, like eat dog poop. I know. I was up with like, okay, lick it off your parents' floor. Lick it off the yard.

Eat dog poop. I know. I was going to say, while we wait for Ralph, I think we're getting a lot of super chats addressed to Salvo. Do you want to check the super chats? Are we live right now? Where the fuck are we live? Yeah, we're live. Are we live? Oh shit, I was going to have you edit all this out.

No, this is great. I don't think so, Vito. It's all just Ray Epps shit. No, there's stuff. If you have questions for the content, if you have questions for Salvo, let us know. It's all about Ashley Babbitt. Wait, wait, is that recent? I don't know. Probably. Yeah, I guess so.

What were you talking about, Super Jets? I just assume everybody, I mean, every time I see these things, everybody always wants to know what's going on. So who are your enemies now has who's had like the worst take do you have any people that you want enemy we know revenge john yeah who's the worst team star is a fucking enemy a big time enemy uh the worst man i don't know i have any stuff you want to like what are you gonna are you gonna drop shit on came star that you learned while you were working with him for two months oh man i think that um i have enough

shit that i know how he lives like a fucking like a like a dirty fucking white trash pig where it's like i could just make fun of that until the day i die you know what i mean uh like how like kenny powers dude he doesn't have a fucking food in his house like he doesn't have a food in his house him and brantley sleep on a fucking mattress in the middle of their family room by the way what dude they have a mattress pretty trashy that is in the family room that is three feet from the fucking kitchen they They live like poverty people. No. Yeah. Why?

I don't know why. I don't know why. I don't know why. It's so weird. It's so weird. And I noticed after I started to come over after a month and kind of poked fun at, they finally got a mattress.

Could you shame them into it? Yeah, I shamed them into getting a mattress frame and cleaning up. The funniest thing about Keemstar's house is that he mandates everybody wear shoes because the floors are so dirty. It's like... Does he have a maid?

Isn't he rich? He doesn't have a cleaning lady who comes by? Oh, Vito. You would think he has no fucking dollars in his bank accounts. I mean, he has nobody visiting would think he has no fucking dollars in his bank accounts. He has nobody visiting him. He has no friends. He has no family. He lives 24 7 with Brantley.

I have a theory that he lost a bunch of money on crypto and didn't tell anybody. I think he's broke. He was playing around in crypto super hard. And there's a certain... Wait, wait. Say that again, Salvo. Sorry. He's trying to sue me for $12 dollars so i think that why that's a pretty stupid amount he claims that me saying

brantley's first name which is public information is a breach of nda contract and he wants to he wants to get back all the money he paid me he always threatens lawsuits he's threatening you with lawsuits he's such a fucking he's threatening he's threatening you to repay the money he paid me. He always threatens lawsuits. He's threatening me with lawsuits. He's such a fucking... He's threatening you to repay the money that he paid you? Yes. Yeah. And not like damages or just give me my money back? Give me back my money.

What an asshole. I know. Is that real? It's 100% real. 100%. Oh, God. I worked on a project with Keemstar. He didn't give me a dollar. What was it? What's her real name? Can we guess it? What does it start with? A, B, C, D, E%. Oh, God. I worked on a project with Keemstar. He didn't give me a dollar. What's her real name? Can we guess it? What does it start with? A, B, C, D, E, F, G. Ashley Brantley.

Ashley. Angelica. Probably nailed it already. Alia. I was going to say... No. Amber. Alyssa. Keemstar. Oh, hey, who do we have who we got here okay okay okay uh ethan ralph of the ralph return it's salvo pancakes buddy how you doing i'm doing good how you doing are you live right now ethan yes i'm live okay i want to issue an apology to you so i i heard what you had to say about me

which i get because you've been backstabbed you've've been, you know, I get it, but I want to, I want to say sorry, Ethan. And, you know, I made a joke on a time you see where I couldn't go to Ralph of mania because I have to worry about optics. Very funny joke. I think, uh, in reality, I can't go to, I can't go to Ralph of mania just because things got a little too hectic here. You know what I mean? And I got to take care of a few things before I can kind of commit to a trip. But I want you to know that I appreciate the offer, and I would love to do something like that. Just, you know, this happened.

But it has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with me. Well, I appreciate you saying that. I guess I took offense because, you know, I even sent you a message and I kind of figured you might not be able to go. Obviously, a few things going on.

There's going to be a lot of piss there. A lot of gutting. I know, it sounds so fun. I figured you wouldn't be able to go, but then you dropped that on there without saying anything. So I kind of took offense to that, I guess, a little bit.

But, you know, I'm a fair man you apologized and I'm going to go the spirit of comedy unblock the man unblock him actually it already unblocked you because Dalton tagged me earlier with some stuff you'd said so you probably didn't see it but yeah I had unblocked

you already is there a chance you might be at Ralph Mania Salvo? Yeah, is it money? Is the money a problem? It's not the money, but like the more and more I think about it, it's like that would be pretty fun to make an appearance at, you know, for a time. Yeah, I mean,

where are you at in the country? You're a post-divorce man. You can go and go wild. I'm in Ohio. That's right there. It's like two hours. Come yeah that's right there it's like two hours is it two hours coming for the day it's not two hours it's not two hours fly in for the day that's like a two hour flight that's no big deal i might do it i might do it you know what think about it we'll have rides and stuff but most people are flying into philly um and it's like an hour um to atlantic city and then about 20 minutes so yeah venue. Yeah, we'll see.

So, Dick, you remember when I said that one of the girls that was pissing for me ended up dating someone that was in the Salvo News team? That guy's in your chat right now. His name is Parking Tigers. Oh, he's in our biggest problem chat. Yeah, his girl, his current girlfriend, which they became exclusive with was peeing for me How can that guy be dating a woman knowing that she peed on herself for a Stronger more capable man. I know I know how does he live with that knowledge?

And then she told him no, but you got to get rid of that bitch That's bad. Ethan, what do you think about peeing on women? Yay or nay? You know, I don't know if I have an official public position on that. You haven't made a policy statement yet on your... No, it's not really... I thought it was funny, actually.

I was reading the Exchange and then he Has this bitch drink piss and then At the end he goes You filthy whore I mean what else Can you say to the bitch I mean all these people Are talking about their survivors and stuff

It's like no come on man this is just yeah i was gonna ask salvo are there any commentators who are trying to say that you're like a sexual abuser or like a manipulator like is anyone coming at you hard oh they they're all trying to say that you know they all tried to say that at the beginning for sure any names in particular that kind of irked you oh keemstar keemstar uh beau blacks nicholas diorio augie rfc xylee gets real they're all they all try they all try to kind of you know paint me they feed on that drama as this crazy fucking sexual piss monster when in reality I'm a horror man That's the title of your album by the way. Piss monster.

If these words express something that is going to turn them on and make them have a harder orgasm I'm going to be all game for it. I'm going to be all game for it. You're a giver. You gave them what they needed. It was not manipulation. They wanted to

pee on themselves for you. Yeah, it's like when chicks want to hold your dick while you're pissing. Like, they all fucking every guy knows that. Oh, can I hold it? Like, oh, okay. Alright. Because then it's annoying because it's like, well, it's all like shriveled up and small. Like, now I gotta get it half hard, but then if it's too hard, I can't piss. So, it's a lot of pressure.

I think that this show look, it's, you know we we respect women's desires to uh have horrible things done to them yeah and only those that's all we respect if they want to vote they gotta fight for that but everything else will give them yeah well listen um i do have to go i have a girl coming over so I gotta go now. Alright. You gotta go buy some Gatorade. Yeah, go get some make sure you got plenty of liquids.

I appreciate it. Always a fun time with you guys. Thank you, Salvo. I want to see you there, Salvo. I'm going there. Go with Pedret. Goodbye. Well, Ralph, there you go. What do you think? Well, you know, he apologized apologized so water under the bridge yeah i'm gonna be people say i'm a maniac you know i never accept apologies

he didn't say anything terrible did he he said what he was worried about the optics yeah well he kind of threw me under the bus for a laugh on time he sees shows okay all right we're throwing people on the bus i got a big Tommy C's show. That's why it's a good thing. It's like, okay, all right. If we're throwing people under the bus, I got a big bus. That's your whole game. They seem sincere, and it is what it is. Fair enough. But speaking of Ralph-a-mania, January 14th, killstream.live slash Ralph-a-mania.

Tickets still on sale. We've got to go, too. All right, Ralph, we're going to wrap this show up. You go 10 hours. We go an hour, and we're done Thank you Ralph Appreciate it Y'all take it easy Alright

Well we got Salvo in We got a It was a good discussion Yeah So like I said He's owning it Which is what all these guys need to do Who was that guy

Who shoved the dildo up his ass Jack Murphy All he needed to do was say You know what It's totally masculine To put a dildo up your ass And I Murphy. All he needed to do was say, you know what? It's totally masculine to put a dildo up your ass and I would have had infinite respect for him, but instead he went, I was at a really

hard time in my life and I couldn't pay the bills so I had to make gay porn a million times worse, right? So you took dick up your ass for money? You're like a gay prostitute then. I was on your side when you were just like, yeah, I like it. I like fucking doing sex shit. A lot of people do. I was like, no When you were just like Yeah I like it I like fucking Yeah just say I like weird

Sex shit Okay yeah A lot of people do I was like no I only do gay shit for money No I don't That's That was so much worse

At all Terrible optics Nobody should know that Nobody should do that No Um What a show we've had Uh

Once again guys Vote on the problems At biggestproblem.show. Our problems were false false flags, Twitter gimmick accounts, and e-whores. What about your...

That one I'm saving for next week. All right. That's a good problem I got cut off in the middle of. Don't forget, we also have a bonus episode,

Biggest Problem in 2020. You can listen to that at patreon.com slash biggestproblem to listen to Dick humiliate himself with his lack of knowledge on the topic of January 6th. I just can't fucking believe making up crazy things about whatever the hell. I can't believe that you don't think the FBI is behind it.

Was there any voicemails we need to do or no? No, let's just do it. Save them for next week. Too long. Well, we got a number of super chats to get through. Let's do it. Private for two says, this is my favorite podcast and it should be yours as well.

Tell all your friends, Patrick Boo for two hugs and kisses to Vito for being a shoplifter. Cool. I think I talked about that on the, on the bonus problem, but I'm glad that's not public. Pop quiz for two. Good audio.

Great. Brits for two says two private for two says B Dominic for two says B And Brits man for two says B Nailed it You guys fucked it up real good Lane Steel for ten says G'day Vito Listening to the show from the Australian village

Woolan Tubi Fuck you Fair dinkum I've never heard a better podcast Keep it up Cobber Have fun in Australia you moron Brits man for two says fair. Dominic for two just

posts TBF and expects me to read it. Not for two bucks, you moron. Koo for two, thank you all for not killing yourselves. Dominic for five says Vito voted for this. Patty for ten. Hey, Vito, I rewatched Yang on Infowars, and he referred to Netanyahu as a

super killer. Ooh. Blink twice if an orange net and he referred to Netanyahu as a super killer. Ooh. Blink twice if an orange net and some chocolate milk will make an appearance in the comic. I do like you, Hu. Oh, are super killer and Netanyahu going to team up? I got to isolate that clip, because in the, what do you call it, in the Kickstarter video, it'll just be Yang going, Kanye, what's your favorite comic book? Super killer. Super killer.

That's a good clip. That's cool. $1 in the box. Thank Killer. That's a good clip. Yeah, that's cool. $1 in the box. Thank you. You forgot to type your thing, Lane. I didn't want to type it. You idiot. I don't know if you get to type something for $1.

It might be. I hope not. I think you have to give at least $2 to type anything. Righty tighty, 91 for five. I look forward all week to the show, guys. Keep it up. Thoughts on Red Bar. I don't watch Red Bar Radio.

I know they fight with a lot of people. Yeah, I know they fight with Josh. I know they fight with chrissy marr so i like that oh yeah i like that they posted all about all the christmas presents she stole from that family one year which is hilarious uh they do also fight with josh though yeah and we like josh denny so yeah um i think someone told me because when we had josh on there's like a little flurry of like red bar trolls Yeah, like you can always tell like people with like a one thing to say come in like I will who what are you guys from? And I think it was red bar and somebody said that I was on that show like way way back in the day Which is cool possible or I don't know I don't know I don't know Was Red Bar like Like terrestrial radio Or has it always been

An internet show I just have I have no idea I have no idea I'm sorry we don't watch it We're not We are stupid I wish them all though

And now they probably hate us For no reason So God bless Dominic for $9.99 Says what the hell Is even a Red Bar R

And then he adds two To say R Like they have to Fix your typo With an extra super chat. Yeah, it's some internet radio thing. Isaac Ox for two. The sperms is the fish and the siemens is the goop. That is correct.

Semen is the goo? Yeah, and sperm is what's in the... No, is semen both? I thought semen were the guys wiggling around too. No, those are the sperm. Well, I thought they had two names. No, sperm is in semen. And semen were the guys wiggling around too. No, those are the sperm. I thought they had two names. No, sperm is in semen, and semen is the fluid. What's seminal fluid then?

Seminal fluid is the long version of semen. Okay. Why is it called fluid? Because it's fluid. All right. Who's having sex with the chicken? And then Kramer comes in. My buddy Bob Saccomano's got a deal on semen.

Stop making little Seinfeld riffs. Stop it. It's not a good bit. It is a good bit because that's all this is. Rizzio for fives is the biggest problem is Vito making me think of him cleaning the goo out of his beard after visiting the Target security office. Oh.

Well, I'm sorry sorry private for two i love that youtube stop this youtube fairies you could say that it's not it doesn't sound like it you too well it's too yeah tube fairy is not a thing it's because it's not you gotta get it separate lemon sake for two tomorrow is the anniversary of the we tweet oh great tweet for me oh wow solid tweet for me how do you feel about that tweet? You wish you would have rephrased it? No. You should. I think it still makes perfect sense. I think everybody

who reads it knows what it means. Yeah, but you should still wish that you rephrased it. I wish I had just said, I'm going to rape all your fucking kids because who cares? This is all stupid bullshit. Everybody, it's pedo jacketing. Everybody's a pedophile. Everybody's trying to fuck our kids. I was thinking today, they said James Gunn was a pedophile,

and now he's in charge of Warner Brothers. What does that mean for me? It's just a path to the stars. All my favorite people have been falsely accused of this ridiculous nonsense. So you don't wish you rephrased the tweet? No, I love it. I'm glad. I'm glad.

Okay. I wish I had rephrased the tweet. No, I love it. I'm glad. I'm glad. Okay. I wish I had rephrased it a little bit. Human Dynamo for five. Good Neil Hamburger joke. Why does E.T. love racist pieces so much? Because they taste like cum tastes on his home planet. Yeah, that's good. That's good.

That's an actual Neil Hamburger joke, though. Yeah, you're trying to make up your own. I've made one up on the fly. Did he already do his show? There was going to be a show. No, it's at the end of the month. I'll go. I would go.

Colin, care for five. Are you going to have the dog lover on the show? I wanted to believe it was fake, but I'm told there is video. Biggest problem in the universe is white women. There's currently a woman who is going viral for claiming she is a dog fucker. And some people are not sure if it's an elaborate troll or if she's actually having sex with her canines. I don't know. I told her to call into my show.

She said she would. Did you contact her? You made contact? Yeah, she retweeted me and stuff. Okay. The Jester Mask for a big $50 on the board asks, Is this enough for an Andrew Tate call to prayer ultimate crossover?

Is that a possibility? I don't know if it could happen, folks. We've never seen the man himself. We've never seen an Andrew Tate call to prayer. I don't know. That seems like a little much.

How much is that? $50, Andrew. How many supercars can I buy? You can't buy any supercars for $50, sadly. You mean you can't buy any supercars for $50, Vito? Yeah. I could buy, hold on, let me cue it up. God damn it.

Stop this. No crossover bits. This is terrible. Oh, I tilted my head the wrong way again. Oh, yeah. This Edna drop. It fucking drops, man. Here we go.

Yo. I got the Bugatti. Stop. The Bugatti. Oh, my God. Fuck my dick while I drive my Maserati. Yo, look at like Lamborghini. I'm so mad that Chester Mask paid $50 for this terrible bit. It makes my weenies feel funny.

I like my honeys like I like my cops. What? This is not your fault. Why are you rapping over the Islamic call of prayer? That's what I do. Did you not see my music video, actually? No, I didn't. Oh, I have a music video, and Re-

I have not seen your music video. Rebecca Black said that I- that she was 13 when she did her video and I was 36. So, if you didn't- if you didn't think the Greta one was bad, you should see- This is pretty bad. This is pretty bad. Oh, shh, I play chess. I'm not like the Rez. Oh my god. I wanna grab Sneak-o's nuts. Please, please. I'm not like the rest. I want to grab Niko's nuts and fuck him in the butt. Fuck in prison.

I have risen. I'm Andrew Tate and I'm in the Matrix. Thank you, Andrew. Get out of here, Andrew Tate. Get out of here. All right. Jeez, get him out of here. What a nightmare. My two favorite bits.

I don't want to brag, but that was probably the best freestyle rap that anyone has ever heard. Probably. Andrew Tate is an amazing musician. You should get some rap beats on the soundboard. We can... Not only was he doing his own beatboxing, all those rhymes were not only on brand and funny, but also rhymed.

I think I just hate the Islamic called prayer book. 50, you don't need 50 bucks though. I mean, if you give us 50 bucks, at least you didn't talk about Pokemon cards this time. Eric Rogerson for 200 kroners or whatever the fuck. Was it 20 bucks? 10 bucks? Love your hetero.

I assume you say hetero. Hetero, yeah. Of course, cannot get this in one message, but Vito should sing I'm the greatest song. Oh, you should sing that. What's the I'm the greatest song? I'll tell you next time. Okay. Petty for two says sick.

Fuck you guys. Some people said that cum was your libertarian homeowners association problem. I don't think so, because I think that problem was great. And again, as we've discussed, even the man who discovered cum also hated it. Yeah, no, you're right. You're right. I'm there with the scientific community. Toothless Ninja for $9.99. Vito is our biggest and most favorite glowy.

He doesn't deserve $10, though, so I get $9.99. Petty for five. Vito, if you actually knew anything about what happened, you wouldn't believe the official story. Much such care. Fuck you. Oregon Boy for two. Vito, please peace yourself out. Thanks.

That means kill yourself. Oh, is that what that means? Is that what it meant? Couldn't get there myself. Gut for 499. Vito looking at Operation Northwoods. Look, right-wingers. The CIA obviously had good reasons to plot to kill Americans and blame it on Cuba.

Yep. Where are we on that one? What is that, the 60s? Who cares when it was? Just get evidence. Get evidence and I'll believe you. You can't call everything a fucking right-wing plot. You actually can.

That's called the First Amendment. Good. Do whatever you want. Call whatever I want, whatever I want at all times. Okay. And I'll sue you on behalf of the families and get $3 billion from Alex Jones. Petty for five. You know, look up PatCon.

It's a stupid fucking thing that nobody cares about and I should kill myself. Vegement for five. Can you guys find some evidence says the site of the Donald Trump-Russia conspiracy? Okay. I just bought Enemy Weapon. You better sign a veto, inshallah. I will sign it. Enemyweapon.com. Get yourself

a copy of my card game. Fadix the Great for five. Gotta love vetoes on wavering trust of the U.S. government. Not once have they ever done it. Yeah, okay, I got it. I know. They paid for this and you won't read it because it's anti-you. Don't you think that's a little... Not once have they ever done even a single thing even slightly

dubious. Better. I'm saying, I know the government has done stuff, okay? But you can't say everything is a false flag. You should find actual evidence. I don't think that Patriot Front group is feds. I think there's probably some feds in the group There we go. There we go. Whatever. There we go

There we go there you have it ladies and gentlemen Shootings are done by aliens Ladies and gentlemen going there There we have it, ladies and gentlemen. Can we keep going? There we have it. Shut the fuck up. There we have it. Gun Ranger 10, this time of year where unfunny internet comedians let you know just how much they don't care about the Oscars and how irrelevant they are. Oh, God, yeah. That's so bad.

Are the Oscars coming up? Vito, I don't know because they are so not funny and I'm not even going to watch them. I'm just going to try to get, I'm going to suck my own cock and then cum in my beard. I will say this. I'm just going to try to get, I'm going to suck my own cock and then cum in my beard. I will say this. If they make like a slapping Chris Rock joke, I'm going to groan so hard because it's too obvious. I don't watch them.

It's been decades of the same rant. We get it already. Gut for $1.99 says Vito checks snopes. He knows it's a lie. I do. Deadpan for $10. Vito must actually love cum because he keeps trying to suck it out of the government. Yeah.

God, I fucking hate you guys. True. Lemon Sake for two. Only fans, girls pay gimmick accounts to reply to them. That would make sense. John Riffster, five. So grateful Mama Babbitt was in prison today. Can't have her running around making more demons with men.

She most likely drugged in order to seduce. I didn't think about it like that, but that's true. I'm glad that she is in prison. Who knows what she's capable of. Cara Fro for tens is for the contents and the laughs. Cara. Thanks, Cara. You're glad that she is in prison. Who knows what she's capable of. Cara Fro for Tense is for the contents and the laughs. Cara. Thanks, Cara. You're not an e-whore. You're lovely. Elbow for 25. I wasn't thinking about

it until you said it. I worry we do this show and everybody thinks we hate women. That's a horrible... I said she's not an e-whore. First of all, I don't hate whores. I like whores more than not whores. I know, but some women don't want to be called whores, and I understand that. They don't want to be called not whores either jackass Why not? I don't know what

You know what? I'm just trying to be nice You failed She's a great moderator And I appreciate her talents And I would never be on you You should go to a random woman Oh you don't look like a whore Well

It's like a dirty work saying shut up Oboe 25 For $4.99 Vitar did zero research On Ray Epps It's called being An FBI informant Dum-dum FBI's dirty work

To stay out of jail There's no evidence He's an FBI agent How would there be Evidence of that? I don't know sir Pete Oxenham For $4.99

Says the pee stuff Is a disgusting Affront to biology Not even sexual Because there's no way For there to be Pheromones in excrement. So you're saying it's not...

Yeah, but the sexuality is the... Sexuality is the domination of the woman. It's not about pheromones. The more women you have to do degrading stuff, the more powerful you are. When you slap a woman to get off, there's not pheromones on your hands. Vito, there's no reason to ever hit a woman. What if she wants it? Even if she's about...

No, not even then. When you're strangling a lady, you know, because she asked for it. Yeah. Because they're fucking nuts. Yeah. It's not because, like, you know, it's going to release pheromones in her throat. Even if she had her knee on George Floyd's neck, you should never hit. When you take a bunch of poppers and jerk off all over your boyfriend,

it's not about the pheromones. It's about the excitement of almost having a heart attack. If someone identifies as a woman right at the last moment. Then you're gay. You got to go, whoa. It's like, you never hit a man with glasses. Like, I'm a woman. A bad traveler says the fan art is in the comments of my boy Soprano tweets.

So that's where the super killer fan art. Thanks for the link. Oh, I know what you're talking about now. And Plumbo for 10 says Vito is very cute and clever. Dick is weird and loud. What the hell? Who is this fucking clown? Smart person. That's Plumbo. Is this you? Yeah, I left a comment in the

middle of the show, Dick. They got a Harvest Moon 64 speed run. We know they're good. What the fuck is this shit? Don't click on their fucking videos. Why? You call me weird. Look, they got a Harvest Moon 64 speed run. We know they're good. What the fuck is this shit? Don't click on their fucking videos. Why? You call me weird. Yeah, because you don't have a Harvest Moon 64.

Who the fuck are you, Dick Brain? Who the fuck is this? Stop it. What the fuck is this shit? Wait, they're playing it in Japanese. Wow. They're playing a Japanese fucking potpourri run? Yeah, they're going for all the potpourri pictures.

Whatever the fuck that is. Not very fast to me. Maybe it's not a speed run. It's like a real fucking poser over here. Walking around. Okay, what a great way to end the show with a bunch of stupid Harvest Moon. Guys, vote on all the problems at biggestproblem.show. Check out the bonus episode at patreon.com slash biggestproblem.

You called it stupid. What did I say? That guy. You said his stupid Harvest Moon speed run. No, it's great. It slash biggest problem. You called it stupid. What did I say? That guy. You said his stupid. No, it's great. It's a great video. It's awesome. Give me the list of our biggest supporters, Dick.

I love them all. And I want to remind you that I didn't update this graphic for the month, which I will do next week. I didn't say I'll update it exactly at the beginning of the month, but whatever. It's close enough. I told you. You couldn't do it. This gives you time to, if you forgot to re-up your pledge, you can still get on the big list.

I told you so. Shut up. Thank you to all our supporters. What a great show. Thank you to Salvo Pancakes for coming by. Follow him on YouTube if he's not already banned. Don't forget to check out Ralphamania coming January 14th. And Dick, you'll be there.

Yeah, you should come. I might come. I'm not going to come. I got too much to do. I got too much to do. I Dick, you'll be there. Yeah, you should come. I might come. I'm not going to come. I got too much to do. Aw, you don't have anything to do? I got to work on Super Killer. You could work on it there. Yeah, we'll see.

We could brainstorm. I don't want to go. I'm not going to go. Come on. We'll talk about it. Goodbye, everybody.