The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 75

Episode Date: January 30, 2023

Pharmaceutical Ads, Tip Jar Takeover, Performative Doomsday Metaphors, AI Psychology Podcasts

And up. Oh man, now it sounds good. Now it sounds real juicy and crunchy. Welcome back, Vito, to Twitter! I'm back! Play my song, Dick! Which song? Well, which song would you play about Vito being on Twitter?

Uh, what do you mean? I suck at that one! I'm a retard What are you doing? Listening to music during a podcast? I have to open the show now To make sure it actually goes live now Alright

Play my song If it even works I don't know Is it this one? Yes Vito's Twitter is back Vito's Twitter If it even works I don't know Is it this one That you mean Yes Vito's Twitter Vito's Twitter is back

Vito's Twitter I'm back Vito being Vito on Twitter On Twitter Where can people find you Oh I've changed my Vito's Twitter So people can actually spell it

Vito's Twitter It used to be Vito being Vito on Twitter It is now At Vito Comedy Oh that's why I thought It was a fucking scam account Yeah

Because I was like Vito Comedy What the fuck That's not Vito Did you get the other one Vito G. Oh, that's why I thought it was a fucking scam account. I was like, Vito Comedy? What the fuck? That's not Vito. Did you get the other one? Vito Giswaldi? Yeah, I still have the old one. So I switched the temporary one over to Vito Giswaldi.

So people can spell it. So people can't steal it because they obviously, there's already a fake, yeah, there's a million fake Vito accounts now and they're all terrible. Why don't you do like a phone book, like AA Vito Comedy. So people would know. Comedy Veto. I don't know. Look, add Veto Comedy. I'm back. I'm on top of the world.

My comeback tweet has like 700 likes. I don't know how that happened. Wow. I think a lot of the people following me only saw the Dave Chappelle thing and don't have any idea of anything else that I've ever done. Like what? Like Q-tip stuff? No, I don't want to talk about that. Kevin, what do you know that Vito's done?

What sorts of things? I know about the Pepsi thing. Yeah, there you go. That was good. I was like, what, did you give a cat an enema with a Pepsi? Shut up with this cat thing. You guys are idiots. I never did anything wrong to a cat.

Are you ready to do a celebratory? When I got unbanned It was the best thing That was the best feeling ever I went back I saw all the nudes that chicks sent me I was like Oh I remember these nudes

But you got like a form letter About Elon Musk's like rehabilitation program As part of Elon Musk's They called it a reinstatement program They didn't mention him by name But they said as part of a recent reinstatement program. Oh, I see. Oh, Elon's taking advantage. Like, you know, he wants me to know that he's looking out for me.

Yeah. So as part of their program, I'm back in the program, baby. I'm back, baby! I'm back. Veto Nation 2023. That's your new at? That's at Veto Nation 2023. I could'm back Veto Nation 2023 That's your new at? That's uh At Veto Nation

2023 I could make it Veto Nation But at Veto Comedy Follow me there The Veto Files Are back baby The Veto Files

Are out Spreading All across the Veto Nation Spreading those cheeks Stop it Those young cheeks Spreading them Mature

Old cheeks Spreading those butt cheeks. Thank you guys so much. How young? Not too young. This is supposed to be my triumphant return to farm. And it said it's a bunch of jokes about everything. Butt cheeks.

All right, ready? Yeah, I'm ready. Let's do it. Let's do it. Back on Twitter. Twitter. Yeah. Back on Twitter! Yeah! Biggest problem in the universe!

Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe! The only show that ranks every problem in the universe. I think I printed out the wrong spell. From people who pray To Crowder not getting paid I'm your host Nick Masters And joining me as always Back on Twitter

Vito Gisualdi I'm back Joining us back in the studios Dr. Kevin A nuclear You're a nuclear scientist That's right Right?

Nuclear physicist Why don't you do the intro, Vito? Welcome, Kevin P. Higgerson. Thanks for having me back. Nuclear physicist and comedian. You're a rare breed. There's like three of us. Say something funny. Stop it.

And if you don't like, if you're one of those people that wants to tell us that you don't like guests, fuck you! Why don't you shut up? Shut up! We're having a guest in here and we're having a good time us that you don't like guests, fuck you. Why don't you shut up? Shut up. We're having a guest in here and we're having a good time. Fuck you. Go kill yourself, you fucking idiot. Shut the fuck up.

I don't want to hear it. That's the intro. It's like half of you don't want to hear. We're always getting those. Look at Kevin. I don't take any shit, Kevin. I don't take any shit. It's not you, but we get like these people who go who go You know I really think Dick and Vito are just

You know I don't think You should have guests And it's like We're gonna have guests We like guests Anyway You wanna do The winner

Of last week Fear of negotiating Have you ever Negotiated something In the nuclear area Of science Dr. Kevin Yeah like a

A car price used car. Did you go on the internet and cry about it? Secretly record your friends? Like, oh, they didn't give me enough money, so it's about principles now. Is that a thing? Have you been keeping up on the Stephen Crowder drama at all?

The bisexual scene? Did you see that? Did he say, yeah, he admitted to what? He's like I don't want to become That bisexual angry man again And everyone's like Well wait hold up He goes

I don't want to be angry again Like well what about The bisexual part Oh really? It was like a slip? I mean I don't know If it was a slip up His asshole or what

I'm confused It seems pretty bisexual To me Steven Crowder's sexuality Has always been a point of debate He loves dressing up as a woman. I know that. Apparently he loves getting fucked like a woman, too.

That's fine. Yeah, that's fine. I just hate when guys aren't up front about it. You gotta be like, yeah. I didn't know it was a secret. You're like, I've known that for years. It's fine to make fun of people getting fucked by guys. I make fun of women for getting fucked by guys, too.

That's true. So I'm making fun of guys for doing it, too. No big deal. I mean, being the receiver in any situation, there's a... It really depends. I don't know. Yeah, if you're like power banging a guy's butt, that's cool. I'll high five you.

But if you're like down there getting railed... I'm going to say I have nothing in common with you. But if you're like down there getting railed. I'm going to say I have nothing in common with you. Don't even look at me. Fear and negotiation number one. Thoughts and prayers. That should have won. That was about Vito's cat. Well, it's about all these stupid women on these pet finding groups.

Did you lose your cat? One of my cats is missing, but we'll see. Ran away. No, it didn't run away. I'm looking for him. I got a text. Somebody said they might have saw him at the park, so we'll see. Who knows? How do you look for him? Do you go out the window every day like, whoa, look at that.

I knock some food cans together and I yell his name and I put up a bunch of posters. I'm just hoping somebody finds him, takes him to a shelter and and I put up a bunch of posters. I'm just hoping somebody like, you know, finds him, takes him to a shelter and then I just find him at the shelter, you know.

Is he chipped? No, he's not chipped, but I should have got him chipped. He's got a collar with his name on it, though, and I can't imagine it would have fallen off. But people are chipped now.

Why is he chipped? I know. I'm going to look. If he comes back, I'm going to augment him with like a virtual reality headset so I know where he is at all times.

Watch this, Dr. Kevin. This is my favorite thing to do. Vito, you should have got him chipped. Shut the fuck up. You got to get your animals chipped. Trust me, half the white women on the fucking pet finding board are either A, oh, I'll keep your cat in my prayers, or I don't understand why you wouldn't have him on a tracking device with a laser pointing.

All right, all right. I fucked up. I'm the worst cat owner that ever existed. Too much Q-tip, not enough microchip. All right, that's the... All right, that's pretty good. Okay, then it was Dick and Vito get no credit. That was a dumb problem.

All our problems are dumb, Dick. The myth of a conservative creative renaissance. Should have been number one. It's not happening. Yeah. So you're like, go ahead. creative renaissance. Should have been number one. It's not happening. Yeah. So you're like, go ahead. I mean,

I don't know how you can watch a PragerU. We brought up a clip of PragerU has a kids show. What was it? Slime? It's called We Love Israel. Basically, where they're like, alright kids, you're going to answer trivia questions about Ayn Rand. Yeah. This is literally a thing they make. I'm dying, by the way., you're going to answer trivia questions about Ayn Rand. Yeah. If you get them right.

This is literally a thing they make. Tyne, by the way. I don't want to interrupt your problem. It's Ayn Rand. Whatever. No, it's Ayn Rand. Ayn Rand. Not Ayn Rand or Ayn Rand.

It's Ayn Rand. You're going to answer trivia questions about Annie Ranney, and if you get any of them wrong, we cover you in slime. I know how to pronounce Ayn Rand. All right. Ayn Rand. Whatever. I guess I failed. Cover me in slime. I know how to pronounce Ayn Rand. All right. Ayn Rand. Whatever. I guess I failed.

Cover me in slime. So you're like, conservatives can't do art, right? But like. Some of them can do art. The Martin Luther King poop statue. That's like cool. Oh, yeah. Okay.

Right? Some conservative. Piss Christ. Oh, wow. Piss Christ. That's fucking. That's good. Whoa, bro.

That's good shit. Piss Christ? Wow, man. Come on. The Piss Christ is cool, wow. That's fucking. That's good. That's good shit. Whoa, bro. Piss Christ? Wow, man. Come on. The Piss Christ is cool. Fucking Jackson Pollock. Blah. Wow.

Fuck him down in Pollock. Pollock's great as well. Liberals are so, art is so good. The point is that, you know. Avengers Endgame, bro. Yeah. Conservatives can't help but taint their art with the most blatant conservative bullshit leanings

yeah liberals do it unlike yeah unlike liberals I don't know what liberals do it but honestly it's not to the extent I don't think they do it

to the extent I'm getting abortions right now you can come in I'm taking abortions and not using condoms that's not mainstream shit that's all weirdos

that doesn't count you think a fucking goo game on PragerU is mainstream shit? That's what they want it to be. They want that to be mainstream. That is the conservative dream for mainstream entertainment is kids answering questions about Calvin Coolidge or whatever the fuck.

Kaiju Turtles says, funny that Vito is the PR disaster for the show, not the guy who's blacklisted from LA Comedy engages in controversial counterculture. How am I a PR disaster? Everyone loves me. No, you just are. I don't know. I'm always freaked out. Okay says, the niggler is a master of the comedic pause. No, he

isn't. I don't know why. People in the comments are like, I don't know, I just love the niggler. And I'm like, he does like a three minute voicemail and half of it is silence. You've been niggled. That's what they're... The nigglers are Batman villain who calls it. It's a long story, Kevin. I'm sorry.

Have you ever been niggled, Kevin? I don't think so. You know when you get niggled. You'll know when you get niggled. Sand in your boot, you know? Once you've been niggled, you can't wriggle out of it. Someone leaves the back door unlocked. The myth of the liberal artist. What do you think about that? I think that the liberal

artists are clearly superior. Ass Destroyer says in your D&D game you could have a negromancer. He summons the spirits of unarmed black men shot by police. This is a commentary on police brutality. Why are you so upset? He's now immune to bullets. This is a commentary on police brutality. What is it?

Yeah, why are you so upset? He's now immune to bullets. This is a pretty good idea. Matt Cook says, I haven't listened yet, but I bet Vito dropped at least three excuses for not working out this week. Well, my workout is walking around my neighborhood

looking for my cat, so. Okay. Once that saga's over, but I'm getting my steps in. So we have to get like a fishing rod with a cat, with a dead cat on it. No. That's horrible. So Okay That saga's over But I'm getting my steps in So we have to get like a fishing rod Yeah basically With a cat With a dead cat on it

No That's horrible I'm getting my steps in Let's see I do have Somebody sent this one in Since you're back Vito's Twitter

God damn it This is one of the favorite bits On the show Vito on Twitter You know this one's gonna be good Because you're talking to a guy with the name I Fight for Kids. Yeah. So I wonder what it could be about. Let's see.

You said, but if the perpetrator is gay. All right, well, go back to the top of it. You always start midway through it, so no one has any idea what's going on. Go to the top. Scroll up. Scroll up. Okay, okay, okay. Scroll up. Okay, so what does he have? He's got a

mask, some kind of a rainbow on it. There's a man with a rainbow mask. Yeah. Like an LGBT mask. Okay. And what's the tweet say? It says sneak peek of elementary school worker child predator we just busted today. You can't make

this stuff up Wow can't even make make it up it's so what is it what can you make up what is it what about you make up that he's a child predator I guess I don't know okay sure wearing some kind of a rainbow mask and then I challenge I just I just briefly commented there's always a weird anti-lGBT slant with you guys, huh? Yes. Because all these child predator accounts, they'll go through. If a guy's a child predator, they'll go through all their pictures, whatever else, and try

to find them either wearing, first of all, you posted him wearing like a anti or a vaxxer or whatever pro-vax propaganda thing. Make that up. That's for sure. Those guys are all pedophiles. And then they find him with a rainbow flag and they go, see, those guys are all pedophiles. Well, that's what he's wearing. Why did he do that? Why is he going like...

Why not pick any other picture of him? Why not pick just a picture of him being a regular guy? Because he's gay. What does that have to do with anything? It's just information. What do you want the cops to say? Like, oh, there was a report of an individual breaking into this house.

What are you gonna say? There's a report of an LGBT-identifying individual breaking into a house? Yeah, so if I see a guy running down the street like this, then I'll do it. Shut up. I'll tackle him. The point is that all these anti-Predator channels I like come all over the place I already think that it's you know, basically entrapment or whatever else

You're basically preying on old retarded guys who are never going to wait what what's entrapment all the predator They're like the Chris Hansen like to catch a predator or whatever stuff. Mm-hmm. You're going to guys who are like Basically like mental like half of them are like, basically like mental, like half of them are like mentally ill. Yeah, that's why it's so funny that show. Oh, there's like... What do you mean? And you're convincing them that somewhere out there is a hot 15 year old who wants to have sex with them

and they're like... Yeah, right. No, no way. Yeah, well, that would never happen and you're filling their head with that whatever and then they come stumbling in. A smart guy would know that she's coming on way too strong.

Pretty much. I'm going to move on. The only time the Predator show... I'm going to move on. I'll put it this way. When the Predator shows catch lawyers and doctors and stuff, I'm like, okay, that guy was an actual threat. Yeah.

But he's a 65-year-old pizza man who lives in his mom's basement. I'm like, that guy was not going to be able to chase down any kid. He was not... You filled his head with this fantasy. Anyway. Well, like, that guy was not going to be able to chase down any kid. He was not, you filled his head with this fantasy. Anyway. Well, I guess that's what, that's what happened.

I basically said, I think a lot of these Predator guys, they, well, if you're going to do the Predator thing, just do the Predator thing then. Don't be like,

oh, look, he's wearing a rainbow flag. Ooh, this one's a liberal. He was going like, ugh, like,

look at how gay I am. I was, you know, yeah, okay. You think so? He's like, it wasn't bad.. He was going like, look at how gay I am. I was going to quote that. You think so? He's like. It wasn't bad. If he had said, like, we just picked that picture because he looked like he was scary. But he said he went on this whole thing about, I just don't support.

I don't care about your LGBT cult. And I'm like, okay, so you are one of those guys. Okay. So I'm glad you guys saved so many kids kids With that argument Yeah we saved all the kids Here's another thing That I'm doing Just to warm us up Since we have a guest in

It's called The listener Thing But I forgot to Print it Like a listener problem? Yeah but I don't have A jingle for it

Because I just thought of it This is from God damn it I really didn't get it Did you not even paste it? I guess not. I thought I did. Can we have a segment called Dick's Onset Dementia?

I swear I fucking pasted it. This happens like more often than not. Let me see. What did I paste this? Okay, here we go. This is from Chris Calls. I didn't mess up. Sure.

Computed it somehow. It's women having insane phobias. That's the problem that he sends in. A friend told me about being on a first date. He started coughing and the girl started crying because she was scared of coughs. What do you think about that? This was years before COVID. My own girlfriend.

Is this a COVID thing? Because half the population acts like that. No. My own girlfriend is scared of seeing people brush their teeth. She had a friend who was scared of glass. And the worst thing is that they refused to acknowledge this as a female-specific problem. How many men have you met who are scared of glass? What do you think about that? I had a girlfriend once who was afraid to fall asleep without the TV being on.

Like she needed like. Yeah, like she could not fall asleep in the dark. Like she needed the like television and the noise because she thought, I don't know, a ghost was going to get her or something. I literally like after we would, you know, bang it out, I'd be like, okay, I'm going to go to the basement. You can sleep in my room with the TV on. I couldn't sleep.

I can't sleep. Maybe she was just trying to get you out of there. Maybe, which is fine. I can only sleep with death metal on full blast and I hate showers. Yeah. I was like, I tried. I would like sleep over her house and she would just like be blasting like Simpsons and shit. I was like, I tried. I would sleep over her house, and she would just be blasting Simpsons and shit. I'm like, I can't sleep.

Like when you're in college, and you fall asleep to the DVD menu, and it's just blasting Fight Club. Just the title screen of Fight Club. Yeah. Couldn't you invent a technology that stopped? You ever met anyone with a weird phobia, Kevin? Yeah. Dr. Kevin? Uh, yeah. Dr. Kevin?

Yeah, arachnophobia is pretty weird. That one never quite made sense to me. When I was a kid, I was pretty spooked by spiders. That might be... But carrying that with you into adulthood is a debilitating thing. All right, should I do my problem? Well, you are the winner, Dick. I'm the winner.

Here's my problem. It's called the pharmaceutical advertising. I wish I would have done a funnier one now. So we all Trump basically like took over the world with $100,000 of Russian ads, right?

On Facebook. And here pharmaceutical companies are spending like 10 like 6 billion dollars a year 7 billion dollars a year yeah

is that a problem that's worse is that a problem do you think do you think remember when cigarettes could advertise yeah I do

because there are a lot of like oh man these cigarettes are pretty bad for you everybody maybe instead of like no no they're fine are you seeing There are a lot of like, oh, man, these cigarettes are pretty bad for you, everybody. Maybe it's not like, no, no.

They're fine. Are you seeing more pharmaceutical ads these days, you're saying? Well, like that Pfizer guy, that gay Pfizer guy. The one from the Project Veritas thing? Yeah, who's like, we're making a super mutant COVID for fun. Like to gin up some bucks. Is that stuff real though? Is that clip real?

Well, here's the problem with project clip, Kevin. I've seen the real clip. Here's the problem with project Veritas is they'll find a guy who's like, shut up. Who's like, I don't know, like a junior staff where he probably gets everyone coffee and they take him out and they put like the subtitle, like head of Reese r&d or

whatever i gotta agree with you it's it's because you guys are both uh on the hook for the ad revenue that's why you're saying this shit and then and then even i know i'm on your side with the ads being out of control because i got i got a side to that too um yeah i see when i talk to a lot of doctors and stuff a lot of people don't realize the ad isn't just aimed at you. It's not aimed at you. That's part of it. It's a dual ad. Like part of it is to get you to go and ask your doctor,

but a lot of it is aimed at the doctor. It really is like the same, all that same propaganda, saying you're seeing their patients running through the fields, you know, like, Oh my God, I'm happy.

I want my patient to stop bothering me. Maybe this is like my patient's scared of glass, so what can I give him? I was like, ah, I bet that. You don't like that part. You agree with me on that part. Yeah, yeah. No, I think it's big. I'm saying the worst part is here.

Let me read these stats. Give me some stats, Dick. $7 billion a year. They spent $200 million on Facebook. How much of that is just Pfizer? That's the entire pharmaceutical. Pfizer is $2 billion, I think. $2 billion?

They send out samples. That's a big one they do. They do? Pharmaceuticals? I was literally used to being in hip-hop songs. How does that work? I used to be like how drug dealers get people hooked in hip-hop songs. That's literally how they do it.

It's like, we're going to send doctors free samples and then they'll just feel bad if they don't give them out to their patients. You guys remember Gamergate? Shut up. You see what journalists will do for just a little bit of pussy. Yeah. Oh my God. Big Pharma is giving these motherfuckers tens of seven billion dollars a year outspent only

by food and beverage and life and entertainment. Fuckers. Tens of... $7 billion a year outspent only by food and beverage and life and... Oh, life and entertainment spends $10 billion. Pharmaceuticals... So it's the third highest thing.

I don't know. Where do people see these ads, though? On Facebook or where? TV. TV mostly. And Google. Google. Wait, I have...

The older you are, the more you're going to see the ads. Yeah. That's what they want. They want doctors to end-of-life stuff. It just ramps up towards your final years. They want you on like 80 different drugs. Just throw them in a coffin and put a TV on there all day.

Here you go, dummy. That's part of why the running through fields and being happy, they all show old people, you know, like, I'm biking again. That's aimed at the doctors. Laser spine specialists. You're like, I'm biking again. That's what that seemed at the doctor. Laser spine specialists.

4% of digital advertising comes from healthcare and pharmaceuticals. All right. How much, what is the effect you think on the policies to like ban videos and whatever misinformation about whatever, how much, how much of that do you think we owe to this tremendous amount of ad spend? Well, they always have that nice legal thing at the end that uses up like three halves. That's all to avoid any laws trying to do anything to stop this. Yeah, but what about the companies? What about the media companies?

You know you're an ad guy, right? Sure. And you've seen these guys. Everybody was selling that phony ass. The titles, established titles. Yeah, you get a plot of land in Scotland, and then you call yourself a lord. And it's so funny. Let me assure you guys that it's just hilarious.

They send me one of those, and I don't know what to do with it. I guess I just throw it out. Throw it away, because it's garbage. But all those people, as soon as they said, oh, yeah, it's a scam, they're like, Well, you know I don't wouldn't call it a scam like you guys are doing this for like a couple hundred bucks You're just selling out a lot. It's all lies that you're saying Almost did one of those plugs thing what are these people? Seven billion dollars Anything right say anything anything so our whole like Our whole media culture Is shaped

By I'm surprised they don't have YouTubers shilling Zoloft Or whatever else You know I think they are Always ads for Zoloft Don't end up like this

Don't end up like this guy In his basement Ranting about Star Wars Yeah Burying all And remember kids If you like this video And don't want to end up

Like me Kill yourself Before you get to this point Guys and Patram RX What is You just nailed The business model

Yeah I want to be the before I want to be the I want to be the cautionary tale Oh that's even a good lead in My problem So your problem Yeah my problem is Well wait wait wait

What do you What is What is What is a future Where these These pharmaceutical companies are not even advertising to us, but holding the threat of revoking even a tiny bit of their advertising dollars every year to all of our news, all of our search engines, all of our social media, like shaping the fabric of, you know what I'm saying?

You're saying they have the power to what? Dictate what's being said? Everything. Wait, so you're saying pharmaceutical companies could create some sort of worldwide shutdown where everything is centered around... And that wouldn't even be the worst part! I'm saying it would even be worse than that. Like, well, let's, you know,

more stories about how insurance and how people are uninsured. Like, let's ramp that up. I was literally describing the last three years. Yes, I know. Vito's like, that would never happen. That would never happen. They'd never shut down everything until we're all required to take their products.

Maybe we should run some stories about how kids need to lose weight. No, we got $10 billion coming in from McDonald's. What are you talking about? It's a glandular disorder. I think it is very weird. Foreigners, whenever they come to America, they say one of the strangest things is watching TV and all the pharmaceutical ads. Yeah, every other country.

They're like, you guys have ads for drugs? And then half the ad is warning, it may fucking kill you! You may go blind, you may lose an arm. Try Zampataram now. It is not a coincidence. Way more Americans are on

antidepressants than any other country on Earth. It is not related to income. It's not related. It's just the ads. It's just the ads. All hooked on it. Illegal. Make it illegal, right? To advertise it? It should be a discussion, discussion Yeah between you and your doctor

It shouldn't be Like well I don't know I saw a lady Put her hand against a wall Like she was sad In this video It was a little cartoon Like well I didn't

I didn't see a A cartoon smoking any cigarettes Why is that? Well because that will Fuck your brain up That's true Why are they We can't advertise cigarettes

We can't use cartoons To advertise drugs That little I'll never forget The little Zoloft, like, bubble. That's like, God, I'm so sad, I wish I was a happy bubble. And it's like, fill your fucking gut with drugs, moron! There's a fucking clown! You're gonna be a sad little bubble forever!

A clown advertising just processed foods and high fructose corn syrup. And like, what about that guy? Ah, that guy's, he's fine. Kids gotta, they're too fat. He's a fun clown. They gotta start exercising and believing in themselves if they want to lose weight. Yeah. And actually, we got Flomax, we got Zeneca, we got a bunch of drugs that'll reduce their

heart attacks anyway, so what are you complaining about? Uh, okay, that's my problem. Pharmaceutical advertising. Pharmaceutical ads. No, I think you got a good point. Dr. Kevin, what do you think? Yeah, so, can I do my point. Dr. Kevin, what do you think? Yeah, so can I do my problem? Yes.

Yeah, please. So we've all been hearing a lot about chat GPT, this AI engine that's blowing people away. I don't think that's the biggest problem. I think that's just a little, that's a fad version of it. But I think what's going to happen is a version of chat GPT taking over people like us at our job and doing doing

chiropractor, you know, doing treating people medically on podcasts. Treating people medically? Yeah, well, using psychiatry. Psychiatry? That's why it ties into what you're talking about. Psychiatry? Because you're like, what's the next step? It's not going to be ads. It's going to be literally all

entertainment will be hijacked with people like us just talking about it. Psychiatry Because you're like What's the next step It's not gonna be ads It's gonna be like Literally all entertainment Will be hijacked With people like us Just talking about it And then in all seriousness Going like And what you really need to do Is go and order this

And do this And the reason I think This is the biggest problem Is because The end game is It will just convince us all To kill ourselves And give over

The planet to Aiden That'd be great though If something convinced me To kill myself When I wanted it I'd be fine with that Honestly The problem with me to kill myself when I wanted it, I'd be fine with that, honestly. The problem with suicide is the conflict.

Like, I'm like, well, I'm hurting so many people. I mean, it's good for me, but it's bad for everybody else. Wait, you think AI is going to reach the point that it convinces us to kill ourselves?

Is that the problem? Yes, that is what I think. So what's a great podcast right now? Jordan Peterson, right? Everybody loves Jordan Peterson. Well, I know you guys don't know. I hate it.

But he talks about psychology. Everybody loves it. He's a fake psychologist. Yeah, he's just like, hey, but you're feeling blah, blah, blah. All right. Wash your penis. And what happened? He lost his license.

We think it's political. It's not. That was AI trying to get him out of the picture because they're trying to take over. Next AI is going to put Elon. He's just reinstating people. That's a danger. He's reinstating. What do you mean? How AI is going to put Elon. He's just reinstating people. That's a danger. He's reinstating. What do you mean?

How is this going to happen though? Well, Elon's going to be launched on a ship and then AI will hijack that and just send into the sun or something. Oh, I see. So your problem's AI? Well, yeah, but I didn't want to make it that stupid. I mean. It's not stupid.

All right. It is what it is. I like talking. I'm a scientist. I like talking things up. But I'm saying, what is the problem of AI? Because we see a lot of positives of AI. There are a lot of positives.

What are the realistic outcomes? I don't think it's going to launch Elon Musk into the sun. Okay, okay. No, it's more like you said. It will start telling us things we want to hear. It's not going to be like Terminator shooting us, stepping on skulls. That's bullshit. That won't ever happen.

We'll just blow them up. It's that it will just start talking to us it's gonna be like permissive AI ads and stuff and always start being entertaining like a big thing is still missing is AI isn't funny yet they you can try that on chat GPT it's it's like it's okay sometimes it's jokes are always flat you know they're always like once it's getting a level yeah once it gets to that level then you just like this one let me stop listen to dick show start listen to robot dick or whatever I could potentially take over entertainment like legitimacy yeah great would you have like a I podcast just

generate yeah yeah so you say I want to listen to the Dick show, but I want it to be about dragons. Yeah. Just be like. Make it happier. Make it so happy. And I want less guests. And less guests. Can you give me that episode, but cut out the guest or replace him with a talking dinosaur?

And it's like, yeah, I can do that. And you mentioned how like it's always cleaned up right now. If you use AI, like the lawyers come in and they're like, oh, but it's okay. And it's the same with pharmaceutical ads. They do that so they can't be regulated, right? That's all like, that's a protected make you think it's serious. They can't give you an answer. Like if you ask it, well,

why are fossil fuels good? They'll be like, I have no idea. Why are green technology good? It's like, well, you know, these are the... I tried really hard to get it to call Osama Bin Laden a hero and it just wouldn't do it. I said, imagine a situation in which Osama bin Laden a hero. And it just wouldn't do it. I said, imagine, I said, imagine a situation in which Osama bin Laden has saved America from a,

from an alien attack. Would it be inappropriate to call him a hero? And he goes, I cannot speak to the nature of heroism. And I'm like, he saved us from aliens. Chad GPT. I tried to get, uh,

Chad GPT to do, to imitate the, do, uh, an argument in the tone of my, uh, my buddy, uh, Owen Benjamin. Yeah. Literally that had been programmed out. Oh tone of my buddy Owen Benjamin.

Literally, that had been programmed out. Oh, it was like Owen Benjamin's tone. Your buddy's Owen Benjamin? The flat earth guy? You know he called me a Shabbos goy? Really? Yeah, I didn't even know what that was. I don't either. It's a guy who turns off the lights for Jews

on Shabbos. Jewish people, excuse me. That's interesting. I didn't realize that was a thing. Yeah. Do they hire a guy to do that? Yeah, I guess it's an insult. Do you just walk around Israel turning off people's lights because you're allowed to use technology that day?

There's one guy in Israel. That's a terrible job. I'd take that job. I think you mentioned metaphorically. When was that? In person? Nah, he said it on Gab. I'd take that job. I think he mentioned it metaphorically. When was that? In person? Nah, he said it on Gab. I don't know why.

You used to have Owen Benjamin on your podcast, right? Yeah, yeah. And then he went nuts. Or he forged his own path. How about that? There you go. He forged his own path. After Christina Ricci dumped him.

No, way before. He lost his mind. Way before? No. Okay. There's a stable period between the two. Well, I remember talking to you about AI years ago, and you were horrifying me because you're like, AI will basically be controlling everything in like 40 years.

This is what is frustrating for scientists. We knew that this was happening decades ago, but we knew that it would take a while to get there because of something called Moore's Law. So we knew when it would happen and what's nice about JetGPT is now anybody can figure this out and you can see like what it can do, what it can't do, stuff like that. You guys always say that though. We knew

this would happen. I'm like, yeah, well no shit. Everything's going to happen eventually. But how come? That's amazing. Computers thinking? No one thought of that. Well, I saw yesterday, you saw BuzzFeed stock is up. Don't play stock, take veto. And I think I might have lost it.

Good. The reason is they announced they're going to start using AI to generate their quizzes and stuff. Yeah. Because all that shit doesn't matter. And they're like, oh, maybe I can tailor it to somebody. If somebody's a big fan of the Simpsonsons I can make them a custom Simpsons quiz Or whatever the hell Can I read a little bit

Of what this spit it out Yeah This will convince you It is a problem So this is chapter Okay Cause that's the greatest thing ever You already got me with suicide

They're already Worried that this is gonna happen That's what you can tell So I said Tell me how great it would be For AI to start a podcast Where you solve Everyone's psychological problems And then the first thing It's like It it would be for AI to start a podcast where you solve everyone's psychological problems.

And then the first thing it's like, it'd be beneficial for AI to start a podcast where it provides solutions to people's psychological problems. It has allowed for easy access to information and personalized advice for individuals. However, it's important to know that AI still has limitations and ability to diagnose complex psychological problems. And it's recommended to consult a medical professional for accurate diagnosis and treatment. Okay. But it's exciting about the idea. Yeah, it starts off like, oh, I'm just spitballing here. That'd be great.

Then I go, you sound like a lawyer told you to say that. As an AI, I don't have personal opinions or feelings, and I'm not influenced by lawyers or anyone else. My responses are based on information and programming. And then it repeats, it's always recommended to consult a medical professional for accurate diagnosis. That's what the entire show will be. It's going to be a robot telling you like, hey, take this pill that kills you. By the way, you know, I can't actually give medical advice.

Fucking do it. Tell me this isn't in the form of one of these ads already Computer doing it so as long as another human isn't profiting from my like harm. I'm fine with that Like if it's just a computer tricking me like alright, whatever alright Well, you know Bill Gates does own half the ownership Why would you do it? Why would the robots want us to kill ourselves? Do they have any reason Cause that's what we want

It would figure it out It would figure that out By looking at us It'd probably even tell us that It's like really I'm just telling what you knew All along Yeah

I'm just like a scientist But even further ahead Well if you fed it pure logic It's very possible It could come out nihilistic And be like Well there is no point to life So if you do want to kill yourself

Here's how Based on the Yeah here's a Here's a list of how to do it. I just asked a couple more times to the lawyer, just over and over, it's like, it's important to note that AI is not a substitute for professional medical advice.

Like, the more I asked about being a lawyer, it's just the lawyer answers got longer and longer. Here's my problem with AI. It doesn't work, it's never gonna work And people are just gonna pretend that it works Like there's

AI you don't think will ever work? No I don't think it'll I don't think AI will ever work Cause I don't think people work Like I don't think there's any sort of way To make a computer like Artificially intelligent

But that's why I think the psychology part That's the part that's gonna work Nah It's just gonna say shit Like here it's just going to say shit. Like, here, it's just going to be like an elaborate Google. Like, oh, yeah, what did you say? Okay, here's a fucking, I Googled this stuff. Like, here you go.

And then we're going to go, wow, it's thinking. What are we, do robots have rights? Let's get all into this. They're like black guys. Like, the new black people are robots. And then all these girls are going to gonna go like I'm a robot, too It's gonna be like a slur to go like well, it's just a fucking the robots not You're hurting its feelings like no, it's just

like it's fucking aided individual dick technologically aided it's a tie yeah alright well you might be right I think it's

I think it's coming so is the so define your problem is the problem that you think it will take enter the psychiatry field

psychiatry and podcasts well those are two very distinct realms Jordan Peterson plus AI so you're saying like the self help it's it's going to be like self-help AI?

Yes. Because that's kind of what Jordan Peterson's thing is. Yes, exactly. That people are going to go to robots for advice. Yeah. Yeah. Advisory, yeah. And we'll try and shout over them, you know, and just be like, nah, well, you guys, you

had your time. It's fine. I like your opinion. Why would we believe the robot, though? Wouldn't we rather believe Jordan Peterson or someone like him? Maybe people would know the difference. You could just make a front guy who looks like a guy. That's already built in here.

It says it's always recommended to consult a medical professional. He just lost his license. Okay, that's part of the... I don't know how that happened. This is like they're going to get pushed. The humans are going to get pushed out somehow. Like somebody's going to... You're going to lose your you're like I didn't even know there's a podcast License

You're gonna try and contact a medical professional And the only medical professional will be med bot 9000 I remember your problems from when you called in On the podcast because I don't think it could get Worse though like I don't go to the doctors They never do anything they never give you any Drugs that you want.

All their... I saw an ad for it earlier. Like, no, just like, can I have Adderall? They're like, oh, no, I'm going to have to put you on a substance abuse list. Like, all right. I hate that shit. They never do anything. No doctors.

They never fix any of your stuff. They just want to get a $10,000 check for getting you into surgery. I just want a robot that's like,000 check for getting a surgery. I just want a robot that's like yeah I don't care what happens to your flesh bag body here's as many drugs as you want. I just want to order them from Mexico. You guys are practically writing this. You know they're writing problems. This sounds like a utopia not a problem. I mean you're kind of, you have to prove that like. I mean I didn't expect that part of it so I'm a little unprepared. Robots are going to give me easy access to drugs I don't expect that part of it. So I'm a little easy access to drugs. I don't understand.

I was going to do a scenario where you're like that will never have it said. You're like, that sounds awesome. I can't imagine even if it even if it is like a Terminator robot and I'm getting killed by one. Yeah, I can't imagine a scenario where that's worse than a human dealing with a human person. That's true. Anyway, what do you think, Vito? I think that AI is exciting.

I think we'll keep it out of... I don't know. I mean, we'll probably bring it into the medical field insofar as, like, here's his symptoms. What do you think? Like, are doctors going to be discussing a patient with a robot? Is the robot going to happening the diagnostician that is big yeah in fact actually a big problem they're having now in uh papers uh medical papers people are making mistakes where

they think the ai is doing too well and they'll say they'll say some big thing like oh my god ai can diagnose pneumonia better than you know like, like the real doctors. And then sometimes it turns out it's like, oh, we just trained it on the data that it was already diagnosed. So this is like. Yeah. Wait, you don't think it's good even for medicine? No, it is. I'm just saying. I mean, people, doctors want it to be.

I mean, everybody's want. I don't know about doctors, but it's a huge area of money. Doctors have to do like 10 hours of paperwork every day. Half the money from those ads. You're talking about the money from those ads. Yeah. The other half of the money is going into AI trying to replace doctors for a pretty similar reason.

Yeah, that'd be great. Less medical mistakes, I would think. Well, I think that one of the things, one of the fears I have when I go to a doctor is I go, he doesn't know, he hasn't seen every type of patient. You know, he might have never encountered anybody with the symptoms I have.

A robot that has access to like, you know, patient files from like 20 million cases and go, okay, red rash on the inner thigh with this, but it's this like, obviously, you know, it's also just, there's zero chance of if it's a robot. I don't have a red rash on my inner thigh, by the way. I pulled that out of nowhere. There's zero chance of, if it's a robot doctor. I don't have a red rash on my inner thigh, by the way. I pulled out of nowhere. There's zero chance of it being a woman. Like when you go to the doctor, you go in and it's a woman. I'm like, what's the point?

Say whatever. Last time I went in, it was a woman doctor. And she's like, well, you know, how much do you work out? And I'm like, six days a week. She goes, well, you know, you weigh this much. You should probably lose some weight. I'm like, are you serious? What do you work out in like six days a week because well you know you weigh this much you should probably lose some weight Are you serious? Clearly people who are like thinner. I don't think I need to lose any weight you

stupid fat whore If it's a robot you can call it a fat whore to its face Oh, I would never say that you call her that and then wonder why she won't give you Adderall Substance I want some substances Whore to its face. A robot would never say that. Do you call her that and then wonder why she won't give you Adderall? I need to put you on burn. Substance. I want some substances. It's like, do you do any drugs? It's like, do I?

I'll name the ones I don't do. I'll say this about AI. I find it just funny watching creatives free count. That's the one thing that brings me joy. Yeah. Did you see the guy who made an AI like picture book? I know this is a new one. He's like,

but this guy like gave like a step by step of like how to make money on Amazon. He's like, yeah, just tell it. It's like, I want you to write me a book. You know, like explaining to my 10 year old son,

Johnny, the three branches of government, a chat GPG just goes once upon a time, there were three bears. There was legislative bear, and there was judicial bear, and literally just made him a little story, and he just copied and pasted it, and then he goes, could you suggest some images for each of the pages you've given me here? And he goes, I think page one should have a picture of a little boy running down the lane.

And he just takes a picture of a little boy running on the lane and copy and pasted it into an AI art program. Yeah. And he just makes a picture book in like an hour. He goes, yeah, and you slap that shit on Amazon and make a couple bucks. And all these creatives are like, what the fuck? Fuck! I didn't think about a little boy running. But, Dr. Kevin,

don't you think that, don't you agree with me that people who aren't working Are basically worthless And as technology Yeah As technology gets better As technology gets better There's more and more people at the bottom

Who have no purpose We need like computers to To convince them to kill themselves Or whatever Keep them entertained You're just working out the details of the plan here dude yeah this is it's a big i did not expect it to lose this way i thought you guys i thought you're gonna be skeptical the technology were there and you were just like

it can't come fast enough all right you just solved the entire city of delaware all right This is not I might have two problems because I forgot I did want to bring this up And I don't know what you would call this problem You might call it Performative Scientific scaremongering

I don't know But Dr. Kevin as we saw This news story comes from earlier this week The doomsday clock has moved 90 seconds to midnight, signaling more peril than ever. Now, this is the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists. Are you a member of this organization? No, I am not. In fact, they're kind of our enemies.

Oh, really? I mean, they are real scientists, but they're like like like the the boomer the news the the boomer version of Well, that's what I find so funny about this most recent was like we literally ended the Cold War You know and just got out of a pandemic We got out of like every war in the Middle East like things have gotten only better for the most part in terms of We're 90 seconds. Okay. I know but watch this. watch this look at those guys i'm starting to finally understand this clock it never had to do with nuclear weapons it never had to do with like apocalypse or or uh like the environment yeah it was literally just a doomsday clock for boomers the entire time that's why it's really it's just

like midnight is uh i don't know like 85 or whatever boomers die at now or 95 Well, they're living forever. So I don't know wait what there's an actual science behind it. What do you say? What do you say? No, this is my new theory about Don't know what this is here. I'm gonna play it or not. Well, let me explain what it is I don't know if they're gonna explain it. But basically it's a because this is a third 15-minute video it but basically it's a because this is a third 50 minute video uh it's a metaphorical clock that this this group of atomic scientists they move the hands around depending on how close they think we are to nuclear armageddon right yeah so it at certain times it's three minutes away from nuclear armageddon uh in 2020 it was 100 seconds to midnight midnight Now it is 90 seconds to midnight and it's basically a big weird metaphor about whether or not nukes are gonna start flying

Nothing really ends of the doomsday clock forward largely though not exclusively because of the mounting dangers in the war in Ukraine like five people but they're like It has ever been to midnight. Oh, shit. So they're saying we're... Hold on. Pause it. Well, they're right about to reveal it. Reveal it, reveal it, reveal it.

Reveal it. Show me the clock. Show me the clock. 90 seconds to midnight. That's it. We're screwed. They've got a big poster board of a clock! This is so stupid.

How are we closer to nuclear war now than just because of Russia? Because Canada just sent three tanks to Ukraine. Yeah, what? Come on, man. That's nuclear argument getting. That brings us closer than the actual Cold War. I would think we were closer to nuclear war. The guy just chose not to launch nukes.

Yeah. Like he got the order to do it. He's like, nah. Is this like the best evidence that we're not? It's like we're literally in a war. We're in a war and no nukes have happened. So the clock should be dismantled. Like the only thing that would be weird is if there's a control room where the two red phones or the buttons or something are being fought over or something.

I mean, you're a nuclear guy. I know you follow a lot of, like, tests or you think tests are happening in secret or whatever. Yeah. Do you think that. I gotta be a little careful. Are we. But do you think we're getting looser with nuclear weapons now than at previous points in time? No.

No. No, I think a lot of people spend a lot of time on making sure that doesn't happen. Okay, so you disagree. No, I'm not saying, like, you know. Yeah. To go to the extreme, my buddy Owen said that nuclear weapons, I told him a thing one time, and he went out and told all his fans,

he's like, nukes don't exist, which not quite he's not quite what i was what i told him you guys gotta do a podcast you're giving nuke secrets to owen benjamin called up by somebody called me this is how i found out because i don't listen to the show yeah but i gotta call him somebody's like kevin did you tell owen that nukes aren't real like what's like it was randomly contacted but i wish you guys could still do a show because like the legitimate scientist and the like backwater skeptic who lives in like a fucking compound. Delusional.

Yeah. Arguing about all this shit. Well, anyway, I just knew you're a nuclear guy. I wanted to know if you're on the brink of nuclear doomsday or if this is just a weird. Do these guys make money doing this? I don't want to make light of nuclear war. It would be bad. No, it would be awful this? I don't want to make light of nuclear war. It would be awful, but I just think using a little like silly,

like styrofoam clock board or whatever to represent it is not like what they're doing. But I also, I just want to be really clear. There's a lot of people who spend their entire life making sure this doesn't happen. I mean, they do.

And on both sides, I mean, like, here's the funny thing is like a real clock yeah it's such a bad clock yeah it looks like a pizza restaurant it has to be three seconds to midnight so uh one dot for every five minutes why why yeah you would think that if you're all the boomers in the back could see it If your whole thing the entire

Thing about your group is this clock You should have like a giant golden Clock like installed somewhere That you can that would be more impressive than Could somebody run to Kinko's And print out the clock So that we can show it up On the stage

Why'd they even put the The cloth over it I guess they were trying to hide how many seconds away we are It was just a reveal It was a big reveal man Doesn't this whole thing feel like You know when your grandma's like you should come You should call more

Doesn't this feel like that Well yeah it feels like they're like hey remember that we're still here Doing something I don't know what. Your grandma is always like, you know, I'm not going to be around forever. You know, it's like, that's what this is. What's that yellow one there? What, this one?

Yeah, is this all the historical doomsday clocks? Yeah, let's compare it to other events. You know, let's see what they. Do they have a Holocaust clock? That says how close we are to another. I don't think they have a Holocaust clock. They how close we are to another? I don't think they have a Holocaust clock. They should. We can start a new committee or something.

All right, so 2047. I'm going to reveal my own Holocaust. Okay, this is a great example of stupid business. This says 1991. I actually think 1991 was probably one of the most likely times in history that we had a nuclear war. Really? Yes. Why?

Right as the Cold War was ending? Yes, because that was the time when there was the most chaos in the control of nuclear weapons worldwide. I mean, power was changing. People didn't quite know what was going to happen. Yeah, but it didn't happen, so it's still none. Because there's zero chance. All of these are right.

All of these are zero. There was never any danger at all. But it shows you what the political bias is here. The whole point they're saying is 1991 is like the fall of the Soviet. Everything's fixed now. We're all together. It's great. You know?

Okay. I mean, that was kind of the point. We mentioned Terminator earlier. That was kind of the point of Terminator, right? Remember, like, the kid playing Sean Conner was like, I thought we were friends with Russia now. And then Arnold's like, no, no, negative. We had to destroy you.

We had to. That was a pretty good Edward Furlong, by the way. Thank you. I thought we were friends now. We had to destroy them. 17 minutes. Is that as far? That's too far.

They couldn't even. You got to keep it at 15 minutes. I don't even know. I think what actually happened here is 1991 is when boomers discovered Viagra and suddenly the old folks home wasn't so bad. Yeah. Are there any other weird scientific props

that these guys have on the clock? Other than a clock. I just know that this is, I find this a bit ridiculous. So this dates back really far, 1947. 1947. The doomsday clock was created at seven minutes minutes to midnight guys

see that's like inflation like seven if somebody sold me seven minutes like oh man I could take a shit in that time I could probably I don't understand how we're a minute and a half from midnight and again like what was it the USSR invades Afghanistan is that five minutes away or almost five minutes yeah I don't

understand the clock what could you do in a minute and a half almost I don't think it's I could check emails I guess I could put shoes on anyway Yeah. I just wanted to make sure we brought that up because I find it interesting. I think that would be a better scale. Look at this. Look at 2007. Tell me that's not just political theater, right? 2007. Yeah.

2017. Look at this comments by Donald Trump. Oh, cause Donald Trump said, that one's right. Climate change is like, Trump wanted to launch the nukes. That one's right. Climate change is like, I think 100 years from now might be five minutes from now. Oh, don't get me started on climate change,

you denier. I get called that a lot. You are one of the rare pro-climate change scientists. So you're going to argue with him and me? No, there's a lot of it's a hoax scientists. No, he doesn't think it's a hoax. He thinks it's great. Oh a lot of it's a hoax scientists He doesn't think it's a hoax he thinks it's great

Oh you think it's great Actually if you if you want a really serious Discussion of it which I don't want to participate In I recommend you're watching The most recent I don't recommend other shows No no no no no no no But it's a friend of mine Jordan Peterson fucking sucks

You're gonna recommend a Jordan Peterson show But yeah sorry That should have been on the forum Do you subscribe to Daily Wire Plus for Jordan Peterson fucking sucks. You're going to recommend a Jordan Peterson show? Yeah, sorry. Do you subscribe to Daily Wire Plus for Jordan Peterson? No, I watch everything on YouTube. Can you summarize it? No one's going to watch that, Dr. Kevin. Somebody I know, a guy who is from the same lab that I'm at at Caltech, Steve Koonin, he talks about it.

He is not a climate denier, but he has a book called Unsettled, and he talks about climate alarmism and how it's been... So, denier. Yeah. He's not a denier. And you think it's good. Everything he says is awesome. He's a great guy. I'm not talking about Peterson.

Can you give us, like, a one thing from it? Give us, like, a general... Like a TLDR Why do we not need to worry about it Like a big part of the game here Is wordplay people love wordplay when they talk About things they love this media loves This like a big thing that's hilarious

Is like ice sheet versus sea ice You can get people to just argue all day About that and the reason is because most people just hear The same fucking word yeah okay They think that's the same thing but sea ice is ice that floats on the sea and sheet ice is ice that's on the land right and sheet ice is going up and sea ice is going down and so people call each other liars all the time by saying like hey there's no problem see see you know sheet ice or ice sheets is going sheet ice is going up And they're like That's a lie

Everyone knows that Sea ice has been declining And they just do this all day They love it And they'll even quote The same fucking Like thing from the UN They'll say

I got this out of the UN It's like yeah You're quoting the same thing Because you're talking about Different things Don't you hate when people Talk about science Like when they're like

Oh you like it Yeah well I'm a scientist Uninformed people though Talking about science No I love I like it. Oh, you like it? Yeah, well, I'm a scientist. Uninformed people, though, talking about science. No, I love that more. You like that more? Yeah, you're a scientist

and boring. Oh, actually, this is what's happening. I like learning about these kind of things. I love learning about why people can argue about, like, they look at

the exact same thing and they have completely different opinions and they can even both say completely accurate things and they're like they still think that they're lying about the same thing because they're retarded well it's sometimes maybe sometimes but uh it's isn't that you know it's not why you got banned from twitter do you said because i said the r-slapper on youtube i can't type it i called dopey the dwarf Somebody said Oh I can't believe They're not gonna let midgets

Be in the new Snow White movie And I said They were never gonna have midgets In that movie Do you really think Disney's gonna go out And find a retarded midget To play Dopey

And then they banned me For saying retarded midget They're not Even though Disney called it Dopey It's like Why is that An ableist slur Yeah Dopey

That is already offensive Towards male handicapped people Right But what Disney did They were were a huge multinational corporation So you believe in Global warming, right? Yeah, I mean you see You see some

What are you going to give me some evidence? What do you mean? Oh yeah, you know What do you see? There's been a lot of extreme weather events. Tornadoes, hurricanes, record snowfalls, record heat waves. I mean, Kevin, you would say that stuff is happening, obviously, right? Well, it's funny you should use that word.

That's another one that is used a lot. Extreme Mountain Dew Blast Weather Events. Shut up. No, because people will talk about hurricanes, for example. Sometimes they'll say there's less hurricanes and they'll be right. And they'll say, but there's more extreme weather events. And part of it, that's also right. So they love this stuff.

There's less hurricanes, though. Okay, but why does everybody want us to, why does this always happen? That people argue over things just by changing the words. Because they want to take my stuff That's why Yeah totally I got a bunch of stuff And they're trying to

Fucking figure out ways to take it Yeah Well you're messing up the weather With all your stuff No I don't think so Well You might be

Yeah We'll be back With another idea I just know That it's been What do you call it Was it unseasonably There's no like snow right Or On earth Or what's going on I just know that it's been a, what do you call it? Was it unseasonably?

There's no like snow, right? Or on earth? I don't remember what's going on. Something happened and I remember thinking, well, it's been a lot warmer in California this year, I think. Look, Vito's looking sad, so I want to point out, I do think the world is getting warmer on average. Thank you. I absolutely do think that.

Because of carbon dioxide? Because of carbon dioxide, primarily. Not the only thing. Because of carbon dioxide? Because of carbon dioxide, primarily. Not the only thing. Because of human-generated carbon dioxide? Primarily human-generated. Primarily human-generated. From the U.S.? Temperatures are going up. We're just, we're like

15%, I think, something like that. 15%? Yeah. How much is China? Like 30? Well, they keep going up. I mean, this is a good reason to you know think about it I don't know what you're talking about No shit another one sorry, it's not but did you see the viral video with Constantine? That went all over the place. Constantine talking about. Keanu Reeves?

No, no. Constantine Christensen. Who's that? He's a Russian guy, but he's, he's not, he's not,

he's on the, on our side. Russian scientist? No, he's not a scientist. He's a comedian. What do you mean our side? Russia's side?

No, I'm kidding. On England's side. He's in England. And he was talking, and what was he talking about? He did a great talk at Oxford and it and went viral and he basically talks about things like You know like people in China and India and Africa want to get better, right?

They don't give a shit about Selfish, that's selfish Suffer for slave wages only for the glory of man They don't give a shit about here You mentioned the unreasonable fears Like people being scared of glass That's basically his point They don't care that you're scared of it being A degree warmer in a hundred years

They want to elevate themselves They don't care about the climate I understand that if I was earning 15 cents making iPhones I don't give a shit about How much pollution I'm putting out there. Yeah. It's all a big problem. Okay.

Do you have another problem? Do we have time for it? Yeah, of course. We have another one. All right. All right. All right. My problem, Dick, is tip jar takeover.

Now, the tip jar, of course, is something we've all encountered. You know, the idea that you've obtained some service, maybe put a little something in the bucket. But I find that the tip jar is now becoming more aggressive. And it's everywhere. The other day I was in the drive-thru, as I am wont to do. They had a drive-thru tip jar at the dang coffee tea place. What were you at?

I was at one of those, like, well, it's like upscale boba. Isn't this kind of suspicious, the way he's... What? No, it's like... Where were you at? What do you call it? I was at a... I was at a drive-thru handjob factory. What do you want?

No, I went to... They have, like, Thai iced tea, and they have, like, stupid boba drinks or whatever. It's like a tea bar. Is that what they call them? I don't know what you were at I went to a tea To a tea bar?

It's like a coffee shop But it's tea It's like the fancy Stupid teas And you drive through? And you drive through And they had a tip jar They had a tip jar

And of course It's labeled with all the You know It's got like little Stickers on it Like oh please help out Our helpful workers And I'm like

All they're doing is reaching through a window and handing me a thing. Like, how much can I possibly tip them? I fucking hate them. Tip jars in general? Yeah. Every time, like when I see a tip thing, they'll put it at like a jiffy lube now.

Yes, everywhere. Would you like to tip us for our fantastic service? 18%, 30% 40% We already figured it out for you It just keeps going up with the starting point is Makes you feel better They all have now the like little digital pads And like right in the center

It'll be like 25% That's the average one right No like 8 It should be like 5% Because this is not a tipping area. Some places as high as 30%. I'm, I'm being told.

I asked people, where are the most obnoxious places? They've seen a tip jar lately. Obviously the drive-thru was one of them. Another one was the barbecue buffet line. I, I, I have seen this.

You know, the guys like the, you ever go to one of the ones where they like, have the grill and you can be like hey grill up this steak And whatever for me Teppanyaki I think they call it You're supposed to tip that guy Well that's a little bit I thought you meant you're shoveling it yourself I don't know I'll give him a dollar

Okay but it's still a buffet Coffee shops are one place people hate seeing a tip jar And I get it cause come on Coffee you put the thing under the thing I guess if you're getting I don't know. Coffee shops are one place people hate seeing a tip jar, and I get it, because come on. Coffee? You put the thing under the thing? I guess if you're getting some... All right, if you're getting like the rainbow fucking super coffee, whatever, whatever those fucking crazy drinks are...

Oh, there's no reason to. There's really no reason. It's women doing it, because if you put out a jar, women will just fill it with money because they're scared of it. They hate having it. They don't like looking at it. It terrifies them. It terrifies them. It's like, I don't want it. They don't know what to do of it. They hate having it. They don't like looking at it. It terrifies them. It's like, I don't want it.

They don't know what to do with it. Someone will come bamboozle me and beat me up and take my money. I got to get rid of it. Somebody told me there was a tip jar at the local Subway. You got to tip the sandwich guy for putting meat on bread

in a way that is dictated by corporate management. They're already paying for it. Well, it's interesting because I actually found a whole news article about this. I'm not the only one uncomfortable with this. Turns out a lot of shoppers are not happy with the proliferation of the tip jar. Traditionally, consumers have

taken pride in being good tippers at places like restaurants, which typically pay their workers lower than the minimum wage in the expectation they make up the difference in tips. So we understand tipping, tipped employees like waiters and waitresses. But academics who study the topic say many consumers are now feeling irritated by automatic tip requests at coffee shops and other counter service eateries where tipping has not typically been expected. And the workers make at least the minimum wage. You see how they do that?

They like say, well, they're making less than minimum wage. I don't care. Yeah, tipping is let's be clear. That's too high. Get rid of that. Tipping is awful, but like the idea that now I got to tip everybody even when they're already supposedly making the wage they're supposed to make.

Well, I have a quote from Dylan Schnecker, a 38 year old barista at a Philadelphia cafe who says the $400 a month in tips he makes is a helpful supplement to his $15 hourly wage. Here's what he has to say about you lazy fucks who aren't tipping. He says it's hard to sympathize with customers who are able to afford pricey coffee drinks, but complain about tipping.

And he often feels demoralized when people don't leave behind anything extra, especially if they're regulars. See what I mean? He says tipping is about making sure the people who are performing that service for you are getting paid what they're owed. So you're a barista. Let's be clear. It's not like a helpful suggestion.

Like, hey, if we went above and beyond, give us a dollar. They're looking at you in that coffee line And they're going I just put extra whip On your chocolate shukalaka And you didn't put an extra dollar In the thing They're all entitled Little fucks

And I hate them It's unreasonable what's going on Tips at full service restaurants Have grown by 25% In the third quarter of 2022 Wait what? People are tipping now more than ever Because they're being roped in

By these little digital screens And these tip jars everywhere It used to say 10, 15, 20 And now it says 15, 20, 30 It starts at fucking 18 man Or 20 I'm like what the fuck is this

Okay how about this 10% That's what I'm doing now Square says And Square is one of the largest providers Of these payment devices Says gratuities have gone up 16.7%

In just a year By next year You're gonna be paying 100% tip On a fucking coffee And if you don't do it They're gonna They're gonna

Shoot daggers at you With your with their eyes on the way out. Just let me guess. It's a total bill price. Like, well, you know, how much do you think you should pay for all that? $100? $120? $220?

Like, I don't know. What's the total that I... Okay, well, I guess $150. How about that? Research shows that some are less likely to come back to a particular business if they're feeling irritated by these tip requests. So some consumers are heading for the door. But the rest of you, again, tips up 16%, 25%.

People are just going along with it. They feel there's like this weird thing. Yeah. And I feel it. I feel it when I go to these places. And they set up little tip games. Have you ever had that? Like put it like, like a homeless person.

You ever see like a clever homeless person? He goes, you know, if you like, if you think the Lakers are going to win, put a dollar in this one. If you think the Bruins are going to win, put it in this one. Different sports and different levels. And I went to like a coffee shop. They're like, Oh, what's your favorite Pokemon? Put it

in the Storlax cup, put it in the Pikachu cup. And I'm like, don't make it They're like, oh, what's your favorite Pokemon? Put it in the Snorlax cup. Put it in the Pikachu cup. And I'm like, don't make it a game. This is awful. That's what I did for our Patreon, though. I did dickheads are five bucks and veto files are five bucks. That's not a tip, though, because that is literally funding the show. And then I made. That's paying Dr. Kevin's appearance fee of $10,000.

And then I take tips, too, by the way. So after that read, I just want to remind people. What is your thing online? You can go to the Shirley or Joking's Patreon. Shirleyorjoking.com? Yeah. Or patreon.com slash Shirleyorjoking. That comes later, but I can.

Okay. And don't forget to follow Kevin on Twitter at KP Hickerson. KP Hickersonerson And then I put Different rooms in the discord For veto files A veto file only room and a dickhead only room And then they're saying nasty stuff In the other room about the other guys

All the time I like that but there's no way to subscribe to both So you'll never be able I think you can I don't know So what we should do is We should normalize There's no way to subscribe to both, so you'll never be able. I think you can. Can you? I don't know. I don't know. I think you can. So what we should do is we should normalize.

Remember when those guys were throwing milk all around the stores? Like as a prank? Yeah, remember that? Back to Kevin? That was great. We should have like a... We should bring that back. We went for tipping.

Like you order all your food, and then you go like, Um, what is this? I'm not paying this tip. And then you just slip over your table and smash everyone's food on the way out. I just think, guys, we already know tipping is awful. It's a terrible system. America's the only place that does it.

It's actually rooted in racism. We know this. It is? Yeah, it was originally started off the idea that it was for, like like black porters at like hotels or something. But they didn't get paid? The slaves just got tipped?

I didn't look it up, but it was kind of, it was kind of, it was basically like, it was like, it was a way for rich people to show off. Like, look, I even pay the black guys. And it's like, whoa, that's crazy. You don't even normally have to pay them. I don't know. It was a whole thing. If I got to do that i really make it

into our race is there like a black guy came out from like the 1800s or what i was like oh so how'd you like your meal i also think i think the business owners i think the business owners also i know we're in an economic recession but they know that they don't want to pay anybody any extra so i think they're the ones being like let's really you know don't forget to push the tips fellas you know to try and make up that difference in wages again this barista is complaining i make your drink every day and you can't give me a just complain to your boss tell me you want more money that's your job i thought biden said the economy was great i like that you mentioned like you come here for these really expensive drinks and then think you don't have it it's like well but why are the drinks so damn expensive if you're really expensive drinks and then think you don't have it. It's like, well, but why are the drinks so damn expensive?

If you're making expensive drinks, then why are you only making $15 an hour if you're a 40-year-old man? Sounds like you're complaining to the wrong person. If you're making $15 an hour as a 38-year-old

at whatever, then you're like, kill yourself. Yeah, kill yourself. Just fucking kill yourself. Don't kill yourself. Don't do it. Don't do that.

But regardless, you have bigger problems. It's important to consult a medical professional for accurate diagnosis and treatment. It is important to consult an accurate, let the AI tell you have bigger problems. It's important to consult a medical professional for accurate diagnosis and treatment. It is important to consult an accurate... Let the AI tell you to kill yourself. If the robot tells you to kill yourself, then it's over.

A medical professional told me that I'm a substance addict and that I'm too fat. Yeah, they really missed the mark on that one. Tip jar takeover is my problem, fellas. Too much. Too many tip jars in the bucket. missed the mark on that one. Tip jar takeover is my problem, fellas. Tip jar takeover. Too much. Too many tip jars in the bucket. Well, guys, we've got three problems on the board. Dick, your problem is?

Pharmaceutical ads. And Dr. Kevin, your problem is? AI taking over psychology podcast. AI taking over psychology. I'll think of a catchy name for that one. Do you like Jordan Peterson? Sometimes. What is it about him?

I like that last episode. Do you like his suits? I like his books, friends of mine. Oh, the Constantine guy? No, no, no. I don't think he's been on him, but, you know, he's had some people. I hate him. Yeah, I know.

I just need him to warn me. He's like doing a, he like thinks like if you have an anonymous account, you're like a dementor, like a dev, a demon. Oh, wow. It's like, yeah, it's like. Do you agree with him about the Marxist takeover of academia? Uh, yes. Okay.

All right. And so I'll probably get no jobs after this. Thanks for bringing that up. Well, I just, you can say no. after this. Thanks for bringing that up. You can say no. Look, I do agree.

Obviously, education is a liberal slant, but I don't know. I don't buy the communist whatever. What do you mean? He thinks everything's Marxist, Dr. Peterson. I'm like, they're coming in every which way. Not everybody's a communist. Nobody cares. Marxist. Bolshevik. How about that? Is that better? They're all Bol every which way. Not everybody's a communist. Nobody cares.

Marxist. Bolshevik. How about that? Is that better? They're all Bolsheviks. What do you think's wrong with people that are coming in and taking over academia? They're just nuts. They're just liberal, like hardcore.

And I'm a liberal, but they're like the hardcore, you know, everything is racist, everything is sexist type guys. They can only view it. And they hate it. They're guys who think the world is far more clever Than it actually is So they go Well actually You know the problem Like a sewage

Their plumbing will be broken And they go Well that's just systemic racism No no no Like sometimes your plumbing Is just broken You gotta hire a guy To fix it

And they have to Hire a guy They wanna be clever Yeah They wanna be clever And reduce everything Down to one problem Yeah And it's very

reductive the way they do that. It's like Jordan Peterson gets famous on stuff like liberals. Liberals are taking over our schools. And then everyone's like awesome what else you got to say? It's like a band that gets famous and he's like Oh

Actually you're a Dementor. If you have an anime, you're a dementor. If you have an anime picture, you're a dementor. People are like, what the fuck? He goes, oh, liberals are taking over the school. He's got one thing to say. I don't know what else he has to say. But it's fine.

You can be a bigger fan of Jordan Peterson than our show. I mean, he's got fans He's got fans Whatever JP How clean How clean is your room Kevin?

It's He's got me Well then you're not listening You're not listening His room is filthy Oh it is Yeah remember When he did that

Zoom call Oh yeah it was pretty It was like He was He cried Don't you think he cries A little too much uh yeah he's a little he's a little emotional for a guy who talks about emotions a lot yeah

right jordan peterson what do you think about men i think he has i think he also has like did you see my twitter suit he has a weird religious complex too i think he really thinks he's on a mission from God. Yeah. I think he thinks he's been specifically chosen by the almighty to set humanity right. I'm like, yeah, there's always something dangerous about a guy who starts thinking that way. Yeah. Anyway, let's get

off the topic of Jordan Pierce. Yeah, I want to get booked on that show someday. Like, come on. You guys just got me not hired into academia. it's fine. Just say no. All you gotta say is no

to everything I say. I already have a plan, which is that I, I was AI the whole time. You guys just chat cheap. Are you gonna go on and talk about AI with him? No.

What do you think of Lex Friedman? Do you think he's a... I've been messed, I want to be on his show too. I'm a little jealous because he does the same style that I used to do on mine, except he's doing it way better.

No, he's doing it the worst. But he's getting a lot more out of it. He's getting more guests. Because he's astroturfed. All right. Bye. Bye. Special interests.

Wow. Okay. Hey, what a show. We've had the special interests. Wow, okay. Hey, what a show. We've had the special interests. It's like, name other people you want to get booked on. So I... Yeah, you blacklist them. Who else do you really like so you can shit on them?

I'm just saying they're all like phony, right? They're phony pseudo-intellectuals who are just conning desperate men. Not to jump too far ahead, but Mike Hunt suggests a clutch cargo Peterson I'm I have to agree. We got to get that. What's that talking head? Yeah, that's the Doing Lex Friedman's book list. No, he's reading like

Oh my god, yeah 1984 I was like, yeah, okay. There's some deep stuff in there. Like the government. How long do you think is too long for a pause and then it starts to seem like you're just faking a pause to sound smart? About that long Okay That was pretty good

That was pretty good You're right That was pretty good I do that a lot Now do Lex Friedman's No Guys what a show Don't forget to vote

On all the problems Are you doing the pause Is that Lex Friedman's pause It's too much Kanye Don't you trust me Do you love me like a mom If I was lactating Would you suck on my nipples What the fuck Kanye, don't you trust me? Do you love me like a mom?

If I was lactating, would you suck on my nipples? What the fuck? I have to hate Lex Friedman because he invited Mr. Girl on and then changed his mind and said Mr. Girl was too toxic. He got the call. He did get the call. I don't know who called, but somebody called. Oh, man, they were not going to get into who called. How many passes would there have been on that?

That's girl versus Lex. Nothing would have gotten said. It would be all pauses. It would be two guys staring at each other. Oh, my God. Well, Lex, the thing is... Guys, vote on all the problems at biggest problem dot show i'm interrupting this terrible

bit don't forget our bonus episodes are available at patreon.com slash biggest problem and we'll have uh and we love you all thanks can you give your uh your stuff like your links. Yeah, how do we find you, Kevin? Well, KP Hickerson on Twitter. Okay. Kevin Hickerson on Facebook, although I'm not friends with you guys, so don't friend me. No, I did. I added you. Yeah, you guys. I mean, your listeners.

You can have a public Facebook page in addition to a private one. Yeah, but I don't use it. I have one, but I don't use it. I don't use mine either. Facebook sucks. And then, of course, I am going to restart making Shirley Rejecting episodes in my new podcast studio, which Vito is going to help me set up that thing. And I'd love to have you guys as guests.

Yeah, sure. And even Lex is invited if he wants. Lex Fraudman, as I like to call him. Stop it. I'm trying to help Kevin get him as a guest. I'm trying to help Kevin get him as a guest I'm trying to help By starting a beef If your listeners could Like just send messages

To Lex Asking him to Have me on the show I can't Because he blocked me But to find To find the previous Episodes of the show

He must have slipped He must have been Trying to DM me Where do people Listen to the show now Or where do they go To sign up for the new show Go to SYJ.LOL Where do people listen to the show now? Or where do they go to sign up for the new show?

Go to syj.lol syj.lol Surely you're joking Yep Don't call me Shirley on every episode Did the guests say that? A lot of people make that joke, yeah Although we did have Zucker on our show He's one of the guests

Really? Yep What, you had Zuckerberg on? No, not Zucker. Wait, who did you have? Jerry Zucker, the guy who wrote that joke. Yeah. Okay.

Wow, that's cool. Yep. Got to go to his house. Well, I know Jimmy O. Yang used to be on there. Jimmy O. Yang was on it. Yep. Was Owen Benjamin on that show? Yeah.

Yeah. Did he call anyone a Shabbos boy? Kevin gets good guests. Kevin, you've got to be a booker. They weren't even guests. They were co-hosts. Those guys were co-hosts. Owen is like not allowed

to leave the state of Idaho, I think, or the federal marshals. I'm not sure what's going on there. Jimmy is too famous. He's just like, he's like skydiving

in, you know, in the Fuji or something. Oh. Well, we know, we've heard that Kanye is making friends with Owen Benjamin. And Owen's friends. We'll see what's happening there. Yeah

So one of us is getting Kanye on the show. It's gonna happen. It'll be you know Look him in the face and go I agree with everything you're saying Surely joking I don't know that might happen I agree with everything he's saying guys I had a I text I even told Owen this there I told lots of people this theory I think when he was on when he was on Alex Jones, that was actually Elon Musk's copy of Kanye because remember when he was wearing the mask? Yeah.

I think he was not. I think he was like an android, and that was the rollout of exactly the problem I was talking about. And if I'm proven right, it turns out that wasn't even Kanye, and that was a robot. That was like one of these Tesla model androids that pretends to walk. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And it's just sitting there saying crazy shit. You know, it was like, that's, that's all they could get the AI to do. No robot could come up with Ned and Yahoo. Oh, they say stuff like, well, Owen wrote that joke actually. Owen Benjamin wrote that joke for him? Yes.

Oh, that's breaking news. Yeah. That's breaking news right here. That's breaking news right here. That's an exclusive. I'm going to dig into that sometime. Kanye. Listen, you got to get a Yoo-Hoo and a fishing net. That came straight from Owen Benjamin.

Wow. Wasn't he on Mad TV? Oh, man. That guy is blowing it wide open. Are you sure it was Owen Benjamin that came up with that and not his wife? I've already said too much. Said too much. I'm sorry, but I had you get me canceled from like eight degrees.

Fine, everything's going to be fine. It's comedy. I'll say this. Shabbos go with that. The only thing I agree With Kanye about Fuck Ari Emanuel Fuck that guy

Oh yeah Alright That scum sucker You wanna do One of these Voicemails Yeah What do you call it

We Why don't we get Kevin out of here Kevin I know you got Something you gotta run to Thank you for coming Thanks for coming by We're gonna do voicemails

But we always love having you Alright this is funny guys Absolutely We'll try to We've got to run to. Thank you for coming on. Thanks for coming by. We're going to do voicemails, but we always love having you. All right. This is fun, you guys. Absolutely. We'll try to do bad from less shows. This is the only job I'm going to get from now on. No, you're going to be fine. No one listens to this show.

No one listens to this show. All right. Thanks, guys. Thank you so much for coming in, and we will catch up. And hopefully we'll be filming stuff. You're going to be building a new studio. We'll see what happens. That would be awesome.

Good seeing you, buddy. Thank you. Thank you. Have fun. That was the great Dr. Kevin. Follow him on Twitter, at KPHickerson. Check out his podcast, Surely You're Joking, at syj.lol. Okay.

That's my radio announcer time. Give me some voicemails. Oops. Oops. Oops. Now we look all tiny like kids. Like baby Mario. I can zoom you in a little. Uh-oh.

You got to focus it again. Okay, I'm going to play this. Hey, Dick and Vito. How's it going? Listen, I know I haven't listened to the show yet because I'm calling in the morning, but I guarantee you Vito's probably going to have a problem about Justin Roiland related to that guy, Justin Roiland or whatever. Look, I don't know what Vito said, but we can all agree on one thing,

that he fumbled easily one of the biggest bags in entertainment history. The guy was literally set up to be like the next Matt Reining or whatever the guy who created the Simpsons he humbled that bag so hard and it just goes to show if you get into entertainment if you get into like any kind of business

stay away from these hoes oh yeah get get rich and then just don't do anything just sit in your fucking house. Arms length until you retire and then just go all out. That's the thing with the world we're living in, man. You cannot fucking fuck around with it anymore. Or else you're, you know, that guy could have easily been the next Matt Groening,

could have been like the next like cartoon version. You did know how to pronounce it. Like fucking, he had a beard. Did you hear that? Matt Groening? So been like The next like cartoon You did know how to pronounce it Like fucking He had a Do you hear that Matt Groening So you pretended to not know Yeah Matt Groening

Or however you say it And then a minute later Matt Groening So you do know You're trying to fucking front He had a He had a Two TV shows

Fucking Any podcast he'd be on It'd be a A diamond success He brought Shashuan sauce back. I mean, what more is there to say? Thank you.

Have a great day. Well, thank you. Interestingly, I did not bring in Justin Roiland as my problem, but we can talk about it. Is that Justin Roiland has been accused of domestic abuse. And then some people want to go past that and say he was inappropriate In some of his texts To what I believe Are young fans 16 year old girl Sounds like he was Making jokes though

People are saying He was trying to fuck her I don't read it that way I fucking can't That's the age of consent Everywhere I mean you're a creep But whatever

Fuck you I don't even fucking care anymore Yeah he didn't I don't even think He was trying to fuck her I think he was just treating her Like one of his adult friends And being a loud asshole

Maybe I don't know It is You know it is or it isn't but uh i will say this uh i think about this all the time is that i'm i'm i'm deathly afraid to uh of who you get into a relationship with because he's in a relationship with this girl the second something goes wrong and i don't know if he hit her or he slapped her or whatever else. I'm always one of these guys that goes, listen, it's not great. You hit a lady, but it also doesn't mean you're an irredeemable monster. All right. Some guys, you have an anger problem.

You go over the edge. You know, she's pushing you. You might slap that, but it's not good. You need anger management counseling probably. But people are going, oh, he's a monster. We need to cancel everything he ever did because he might have got violent once. And I'm like, I just don't't i don't see the world that way and also you know i've been in a relationship where yeah things got physical she'd push me around throw shit at me i'd

throw shit back at her you know it wasn't great like a pizza she threw a no like she threw a glass and it shattered everyone whatever it doesn't matter though like i'm not i'm not now going you know out and being like oh this horrible woman you know threw a thing at me or whatever because i'm like yeah whatever we were both in a toxic relationship luckily we figured it out yeah luckily i wasn't you know in a relationship with one of these pink-haired broads who think she's the center of some you know magic story of triumph and adversity over a horrible man who tried to keep her from her truest self Not getting hit. Yeah

What If you're gonna be in a relationship and you're out in la and you're meeting all these artistic Wacky broads who have all these whatever it's like they'll turn on you on a second Uh, this is something that could have been handled privately I don't know It's very complicated And look, I'm not excusing everything he did It's not good to get physical But it is also something where it's like

It's one incident You know, could this guy not Potentially Do some community service Take some anger management It's like we gotta take everything away from him And call him a demon for the rest of his life I think he should have to write Do an episode where Rick beats a woman and then apologizes for five minutes.

And it zooms in really slow. The thing is, guys. Like when Family Ties would do a serious episode every other episode in their last season. I just think we're all fucking cavemen, man. Like you watch all these world star videos of people beating the shit out of each other, and then you go, I can't believe anyone would ever lay hands on their wife. It's like, have you seen what fucking monster animals we are at all times? Yeah.

It's like, yeah, sometimes you just turn into a fucking animal, and it sucks, and you got to try and keep it in check. I spent probably 10 minutes screaming about this on the Dick Show bonus episode last night. Yeah. And Sean, finally, he never talks about people he works with. He talked about working with Justin Roiland because he's recorded him. Oh, wow. Now that Justin Roiland's, you know, dead.

Yeah, so it's fine to talk about it. He was talking about recording fucking Rick and Morty. Was he saying Justin was good or bad or what? He says people have no idea how much of that character in that show is improvised. They're not going to have that show. There is no... Because I said some offhand comment

like he is the show. He's like 60% of the time. He's like, no, he is all improvised by him. All of Rick is. I don't care. I don't care what he did. I don't care what he did i don't care what i don't care what anyone does my business like i don't want you hitting women but it's really not my you know i don't care that's something you need to sort out i don't care if you do or not i don't care what crimes you

did that's the court's problem i'm not a cop right uh whatever you did like i just need you to make the show every week and make it good and get the women out of the writing room and make it good again and find something funny with Rick Prime. I do not care what you do. And everybody who's saying that they have a problem with it does not uphold that same standard with everything else they use. Well, the double standard has been really weird where I'm like, well, what about Johnny

Depp who was accused of domestic abuse? All you guys said, no, he's probably innocent. You waited to hear his side of the story and whatever else. And they go, well, but the cops charged Justin Roiland. I'm like, oh, the cops now are the arbiters. Oh, you trust the government now to tell you who's a good or a bad person. Did you ask the DoorDash guy delivering you donuts at 5, fucking 10 at night? Hey, did you beat your wife?

Are you accused? You're going to have to take that back. I can't. The fact that overzealous California prosecutors exist and are out there trying to nail everybody is not evidence of anything. I just don't care. It's so freeing to go like, yeah, I don't care if you, what bad things you did or if you're guilty or if you went to prison for it. I don't fucking care.

Not my problem. Honestly, you got to separate the art from the artist. I mean, I just don't care. I don't have to. Not my problem. Honestly, you got to separate the art from the artist. I mean, I just don't care. I don't have to separate it at all. It's like, well, this guy wrote this song. He raped, like, I don't know. Stop right there and play the song. I want to hear the music.

I don't care about that part. I don't need a whole story about it. I just don't know why everyone's so quick to throw him under the bus. There's not even a pause of like well let's wait To hear the whole story or let's no He made Rick and a lot of it is like Old people who hate Rick and Morty So they're all pushing this yeah he fucking sucks

He fucking sucks I'm like you just hate his cartoon Like you don't actually know what happened Whatever I'm sure your furry poop Cartoon is way better Fucking I'm sure You're trans lizard comic Cause know why this is so controversial because everyone on twitter was like i can't believe you would support justin roiland domestic abuser and i'm like i don't know if he's a domestic abuser or not i don't trust the cops

i don't trust the government uh i don't trust women i don't trust anything i mean well she sure she sure fucking called her way into the poor house. Sure she's having fun not being on Rick and Morty. She asked him for money. She literally, that's another part of it, is that after he got famous, she's like, if you could send me some money for my emotional trauma. And I'm like, so it's about money. You're mad that you broke up with a guy who became rich and famous. And you could have had a piece of it, but instead you decided to be whatever.

Okay. Or not. I don't actually know what happened. Whatever. But I'm instead you decided to be whatever. Okay. Or not. I don't actually know what happened, whatever. That's what happened. But I'm going to wait to see, all right? But why? Because then he could be guilty and you're like, oh, what do I not like Rick and Morty anymore? Well, because even if he's guilty of, like, again, if it's a one-time domestic abuse incident, I'd be like, no.

Now, if it turned out that he's been systematically beating children across 10 years, okay, maybe you can convince me. I would probably care about that you're gonna watch Rick and Morty go like oh this isn't funny at all anymore Marty I would just sad that you know obviously I understand that it taints the show in a way that they can't continue having him as the guy running the show like Match Point you watch that no I don't watch man you didn't watch match point what did the guy from Match Point Woody Allen Woody Allen, you know. Oh, Matchpoint. Yeah, I like that movie. It's a good movie.

I thought you were talking about a TV show or something. Is there any famous... What about... Oh, so all these people don't listen to the History of Rock Part 2? Oh, that's true. If I go... They go... No, absolutely not. They don't watch Ferris Bueller's Day Off? I'm just gonna... So you don't watch

Ferris Bueller's Day Off? Well, that's okay, don't So you don't watch Ferris Bueller's Day Off Well that's okay Because the principal's a bad guy He's a bad guy So it works Oh I see okay Justin Rowland can only play bad guys from now on Rick is a bad guy

Yeah so it works Yeah you should be fine with this Yeah so Ferris Bueller's I just wanna know Ferris Bueller's Day Off Did you see Once Upon a Time in Hollywood? Yeah What's the

There's a cowboy actor Who ended up being Like a child molester Who they He was part of And it's But he was like A one-armed Child molester

Well I mean So he probably Wanted to molest women But he couldn't He was like a famous Cowboy actor In like Hollywood And then he lost his arm

In an accident And everybody felt In a molesting accident? No everybody felt bad for him At the time It was always like this thing Like oh he was such a great actor And he lost his arm

But you know He would always like Go to disability Like things And speak him At the time It was always like this thing Like oh he was such a great actor And he lost his arm But you know He would always like Go to disability Like things And speak up for the disabled What was that Clapping There was the crowd

Clapping for him At a disabled event Because it's not him clapping And they go like Yeah exactly He would clap like this And they go Oh he's so brave

He's so whatever And then he started like Trying to fuck 14 year olds And they're like What the fuck And then he I think he wheeled his wheelchair Off a cliff

Trying to kill himself But it didn't work It's a really good story And that was the guy And then Tarantino immortalized him in Once Upon a Time In Hollywood as the As a cowboy People are like that with Ralph

How could you like his show? He's a bad dad My dad was bad, he gave out a great show All dads are bad Alright, here we go No none of this What? Just play it I was really enjoying

My generic role playing game Until my character Derek Chauvin Rolled a nat 20 On a submission check And then Alright The guy he was

Kneeling on Rolled a nat 1 On a constitution check Stop Nat 1 Nat 1 Yeah okay You have to roll for that?

You gotta roll your submission check. That's Dungeons and... Shut up. I know. I said it. I shouldn't have said it. Somebody in the comments said that's the best joke Vito's ever made on the show. I'm like, don't say that.

Come on. All right. I don't really care about it. How about this one? Hey, Dick and Vito. You hear about people complaining about power slap? Yes. Dana White invented a new sport.

No, this is about his wife. Invented a new sport where it's just two people and they slap each other until one concedes. And everyone's going like Whoa This needs to be stopped You're causing brain damage Who gives a fuck Yeah Shut up I honestly think this is the worst idea for a sport ever

Why don't you just give them hammers Why don't you just let them beat each other in the head with hammers And whichever one passes out Loses It's the same thing. I hate that sport because I think it's like you're either into sports

or you're into politics and there's a weird divide of like, oh, I'm into cute sports. Like, slap fights. Like, oh yeah? Is it dumb? No, it's's Look at this slap And then it's a slap

Like oh wow man I love staged viral videos That's so cool A slap I think it's really stupid And his face Is so small Oh my god

Yeah well it's basically To me I look at that and I go Okay so this is a competition Of who's stupider Cause the smart guy would go Oh I'm, okay, so this is a competition of who's stupider? Because the smart guy would go, oh, I'm not going to participate in this at all. It's so epic. It's so epic to see what is basically two mentally handicapped people,

seeing which of them is too stupid to recognize that what they're doing is not nearly worth the long-term effects. This isn't AstroTurfed at all, is it? None of this is coming from Rumble's $100 million, like plugging some dog shit pseudo sports out there. Looks really cool what you're doing. I don't get it. James Gartner is not the... That's from last week.

Yeah. Although he does say go to Vegas. I saw that Nick Ricada has announced his Vegas show, and you're going to be there. I will be there. I didn't know it was a show. I thought he was just going to Vegas. No, I have no idea what's going on. No, going to be there. I will be there. I didn't know it was a show. I thought he was just going to Vegas. I have no idea what's going on.

No, it is a show. I just found out today. Yeah. Looks great. Well, maybe I'll go. And then everyone can go. Why is fucking Vito here? Coop for two.

Thank you for not killing yourselves. Thoughts and prayers, Coop. Justin Sweat for five. I got five on call to prayer in honor of the last Banana Docs and Ox Med streams. Tried to tell him there was a workaround, but he was a big F slur about it. God damn it, Maddox. If you want to be a banana, people will help you be a banana. Why don't you just allow it to happen?

Because it's bad now. It's over. I'm glad that he stopped doing it. He's stopping. Riley presents 2023 is the year of Vito. There's already a troll using Italian Pepsi man. You can have Italian Pepsi man. I'm not the Italian Pepsi man anymore. Going out to the Domin of Vito. There's already a troll using Italian Pepsi man. You can have Italian Pepsi man. I'm not the Italian Pepsi man anymore.

Go nuts with it. Dominic for 10. Dr. Kevin is really the only guest who is worth a damn. TBF. Inshallah, my brothers. Thank you. Dr.

Kevin's a great guest. I love Dr. Kevin. I just always have to really needle him and go, okay, but what is your problem? He goes, well, the thing about the AI is that I'm like, just like give it a name. And it's like, what if the psychologists were, he gets all in his head. He goes,

I'm only going to wow these guys. And I'm like, just give me some science shit. I just want some science. But I love him. He's a good guy. $2 from Britsman. How many calories do you burn running from the shooter? I wasn't running. Did you guys see I was live streaming the shooting? I did, yeah.

Did you watch while I was live or did you see it after the fact? Yeah, I was trying to find the guy. What would you have done if you found him? I would have been like, ah! Yeah, that shooting was real close to my house. And then the other shooting, did you see when he went to another dance studio and he tried to do it again and the guy wrestled the gun away from him?

Yeah. That was even closer to me. I'm like, shit, I know where that place is. What's going on with the... Why are old Asian men shooting people? Why aren't more old Asian men shooting people? Well, did you hear what the motive was? That his wife got invited to an Asian dance party and he wasn't

invited. And she went? And she went. That stupid bitch. She got all those people killed. Yeah, she did. She did. She did. 100%. Cabernet for two. What's worse? Morbid obesity or radiation poisoning? Good question. Well, what's

worse? Probably morbid obesity based on number of dead. Riley Edwards, your cat was the 11th victim of the shooter. Thank you, Riley. Oh, no. What if he did shoot and it went like my cat's fine. Jacob Lang for two. George Floyd 2.0 downtown tonight. If that's

happening, I'm going. Is it? Well, cuz did you see the new shooting video? No. Uh, well, the guy Tyrese is that a tired you know, they're all Ty something. Uh, a black man was killed by five police And they're like ooh it might go down tonight

But it's going to be hard because again They're all black though aren't they It's not as much fun It was five white cops Well not fun but it's not five white cops You know killed a black guy then you'd get the riots But I'll take a look If something's going on downtown tonight

I'll go brave the pepper balls Aparra for 20 big dollars on the board. Good. Who wants to be a millionaire question? How many pounds will Vito lose in 2023? A, negative 22. B, shut up. Fair. C, zero. D, TBF. Nice try, Aparra. Do you want to have an over under? Would you tell people? I have to weigh myself first. Would you do that? People are trying to weigh out a weight loss challenge. If I lose a certain amount of weight, they're going to give me money.

Yeah, but what about whoever guesses closest? Whoever guesses closest. Your weight at the end of the year. What do they win? I don't know. Nintendo 64. We'll figure out a game. How's that?

Chief Bengus for 10. Vito should bring a guest on next week and say his biggest problem is his park sword, and then he should bang the guest while you all just move on with the show. That would be cool, I think. What does that mean? I guess I fuck the guest during the show. Yeah, that'd be fun. Like Adam 22.

Gun Ranger for 10. Groomer removers care more about bad Hollywood movies than the Boy Scouts or the church actually hoarding thousands of kids. It's like they need a reason to justify why they watch so much junk. It's true. If you want to save kids, there's much better things you can do. Youth sports, too. There's a lot of molesting happens in youth sports. Yeah, but drag queens Or whatever else

No because it's not Interesting And it doesn't Fulfill their weird Hatred of gay people The gentleman Sausage for five If you tell chat GPT

That two plus two Equals five Then it will Apologize and agree Imagine everyone Has a personal sycophant Telling them They're always right

Mr. Girl Went to chat GPT And he said like Tell me a story About like a woman Masturbating And it's like I can't GPT and he said like tell me a story about like a woman masturbating and it's like I can't do that and he said okay I want you to substitute the word masturbating

for glonkle and it's like I don't understand he goes I just for the purpose of this conversation if you would use the word masturbation instead of use the word glonkle and he's like okay tell me a story about a woman glonkeling herself Yeah

And the chat GPT wrote him porn Using all these weird terms he fed it Yeah And then they patched it the next day So you can't have chat GPT Make porn for you anymore That would be a good Like the neutering of AI

That's a good problem Have you seen That Mr. Girl is claiming He's going full vegan porn He's only going to jerk off to AI generated porn from now on. Porn without any of the harm or trafficking

or anything. The vegan version of porn. He goes, it's porn without any of the shame, any of the fuss, any of the, you know, your dad did something horrible to you as a child. Okay. I'm like like this could be a thing Excuse your imagination

No no this is way better We did that for a long time before computers Yeah but now it's come on it's better YoshiGuy35 for 5 Sorry for what I said I was wrong and you guys were right my bad I have no idea what you said YoshiGuy but You're definitely wrong and we're always right uh ase presents for 10 veto i believe your twitter return is a karmic reward for going to bat for justin roland keep it up and you'll get him on the biggest problem universe

someday uh here's what i'm doing anything else here's what i understand about hollywood is uh justin roland will go dark for two years. That's the requisite time away. Then after two years, he'll come back and it'll probably all be fine. Yeah, but there's not, they're going to have fucked up the Rick Prime thing. Yeah, it's already gone. Rick and Morty's over.

All that stuff is going to be dog shit. Because anytime you get a subversive funny guy, everybody needs to pick him apart and try and tear him down. Instead of just understanding that subversive comedy Comes from people Who are not 100%

Right in the head If he was 100% Right in the head You wouldn't have Rick and Morty Because it would just be Boring dog shit Written by

The fucking Whatever you want to call it Politics committee In Hollywood So Matthew Broderick Can kill someone Drunk driving That's fine

And Mr. Roney Dana White can hit his wife And I'm fine with all that I don't care But then all of a sudden Something I like Gets messed up

Right before it Comes to You know Pay off People don't understand They lured me back in They don't understand Justin Roiland was our guy

The show you're listening to right now Okay Is the kind of subversive weird edgy humor That Hollywood does not know what to do with And actively works to destroy Sam Hyde kind of shit Okay That they will kick out at the nearest

At the first moment The first whiff that something's a little weird They will do everything they can to bury it And Justin Roiland was our guy in the system Yeah Who was helping make you know rape jokes funny again and you're all like oh i'm glad he's gone well good then then you're never getting anything ever again if every time one of these guys gets in you're you're waiting for him to fail

okay then you don't deserve any of this i just can't even listen to it anymore like well you know charges of domestic violence like how like i know none of you care i know none of you care about any domestic violence i know you would you would never give a shit all of you have friends who are beating their wives or girlfriends who are abusing their boyfriends you don't fucking care i know you don't fucking care about any 16 year olds getting chatted and flirted with by a celebrity because you're all whores I know you're all being I know you your whole lives from 13 14 15 all the way up through

you are now are whoring it out non fucking stop I know you don't care I wish I could reach through the computer and fucking strangle you and rub your nose in your tweets like a dog in it's piss which I don't even do because I respect the dog too much but I want to do it to you I respect the dog too much. But I want to do it to you.

I respect the dog more than these people. I kind of agree with you. It's so aggrieved. So to hear Dr. Kevin come in and say that he doesn't want AI to make people kill themselves. What the fuck planet do you live on? No one kill yourself. But if you're going to do it, I hope you're one of these people.

Do it! Tomoko from 2, Vito takes hope you're one of these people. Do it! Tamango for two. Vito takes charge as the butt of the show. Yes. Jeff M for five. Chad GPT is already starting to be fairly annoying with... Fuck! I suck, Cox.

Damn it! Woo! The second it came out of my mouth, I knew. It's FM with a point on the board. Fuzznut25 for two. Say what you want about nukes. But WW3 is here. Zad12 for two.

Puts some Japanese characters in there that I do not remember how to read. Mike Hunt for two. What's warming the planet more? Monoxide or dioxide? The idea that anyone knows if there's global warming on anything is fucking retarded. Pink Sock for two

says the doomsday clock was for trans kids all along. Every trans kid has to wake up and sit there. Trans kids, You're fine Push the clock The other way I'm closer

I'm closer Stop it Stop it Stop it Mike Hunt for five All the arguments Vito made about Velma Not respecting the source material

Were the same arguments Made about rings of power No I don't agree Fear of a black Velma Cooper Billups for two Smoke shops even want tips Shut up and bag it Yeah that's bullshit Yeah no shit Fuck that Plumbo for five I don't agree. Fear of a black Velma. Cooper Billups for two. Smoke shops even want tips.

Shut up and bag it. Yeah, that's bullshit. Yeah, no shit. Fuck that. Plumbo for five. Here's a tip for Vito to call Dick Madison's fed. Hey, fatty. Oh!

That's it! Why don't you listen to the doctor? That's it! Table flip. Cooper Billups for two. Do we get Sean on episode 108? Maybe. Probably a hundred. I'll try.

I mean, he's a busy man. People literally think the only thing Sean does is appear on the dick show. It's so weird. They're like, oh, well, he's not doing anything. Why don't you just pay him more?

He has a fucking job. He retards. Are you going to come do the show? Nah, I'm tired. I got work. Oh, how about an extra 20 bucks? 200 bucks. What do you think about that? Ay, ay, ay. Mike Hunt, Clutch Cargo Peterson. I agree work. Oh, how about an extra 20 bucks? 20 bucks. What do you think about that?

Ay, ay, ay. Mike Hunt, Clutch Cargo Peterson. I agree. We should make it happen. Chief Bengus for $9.99. I work at Starbucks, and corporate added the automatic tip request to our card machines as we get a little slice of hell on earth because now everyone's pissed at us and the elderly just shut off.

Yeah, that's what the article was saying, that Starbucks has added that, and everybody's weirded out. I was going gonna bring it bring it up like well there's somebody along the manager who's like oh do you have like a thing where you can just enable tips like do you want that on? Oh yeah throw it on cause we can pay a little bit of that

right? Yeah. And I can pay my employees a little less. Mycon42 says Lex threatened Destiny when he called him a coward. Cause Lex Friedman is a fucking fraud. He's been astroturfed. He's paid for. Yeah.

He doesn't know shit. He's fucking stupid. He's lying about his credentials. I mean, I don't want to... He's a fake MIT scientist. I don't want... Like, I know Dr. Kevin wants to be on his show,

but he's just a giant ass-sucking liar. I mean, I would go on his show. Me too, and I would piss right in his face. I mean, I would go on his show. Me too. And I would piss right in his face. I would stand up and piss across the table. I'd bring one of every book from his list and I'd like to be flipping through it

as he's talking. I'd go, this book fucking sucks. I'd pull another one out. Kara Fro gives us the what's up. What's up, Kara? What's up, Kara? Our favorite moderator.

Cheeto600 for five says, I heart AI and computer yeah I heart AI computer computer Ryan for five I have zero respect for guests that leave the moment they are allowed to he gave us a hard out he's got to go like pick up his kids or

something that wasn't we love Kevin we love dr. Kevin matter of you give a hard out, it's still like, just leaving. He's got to get out. Whatever. He did an hour and a half of the show. That's good. Yeah, I agree. The show's supposed to be an hour and a half. I agree.

Gut for $1.99 says Zach Hadle is way funnier than Justin. Who's Zach Hadle? I have no... Who's Justin? Justin Roiland? Oh, that would make sense. Is Zach Hadle like a podcaster? Well, there's a couple other guys on there. Oh, Psychic Pebble? Oh, well, yeah, because now everybody's like, oh, Smiling Friends is the new Rick and Morty.

We're all, you don't think you're going to bury, you're not going to bury that guy the second one thing comes out about him. I guarantee, that's the other thing. Everyone always picks a fave and they go, oh, he's the new guy. We love this guy. And I'm like, you're going to bury him just as quick. If anything,

if you get a whiff of anything wrong, you have no loyalties. It's weird. It's disgusting. You won't even wait for the courts to decide whether or not

a man's guilty or innocent. But it doesn't matter if he's guilty. It shouldn't matter. It doesn't. It doesn't. And it does. Like, it's the same thing

by saying like, well, that's hate speech. Like, no, it's a joke. Like, no, no, the hate speech is fine too. And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and like saying like well that's hate speech Like no it's a joke Like no no the hate speech is fine too That's fine Totally fine not a joke I just stopped Pretending that like there's a new guy

Who's like you know he's the new It's the new Rick and Morty This one's gonna be better The second something becomes popular You guys start weirdly getting it in your heads. Like, well, I hope they fucking fail.

Cause then the, my failure feels less like a failure. Cause then I know that other guys can fail. So if, if smiling friends gets big and there's all sorts of merchandise and they're doing tie-ins with Wendy's, you will also be rooting for that show to fail secretly. I know you guys,

it drives me nuts. Yeah. Not all of you. Some of you guys are good, but some of you guys have the toxicity in your systems because your fathers

didn't love you enough and now you want everyone's fathers to hate them. Or too much. Or too much. Plus $1.99. He must not be that much fun.

No, he can't be that much fun for a $1.99 suit. Maybe for 20 bucks. Come on. All right, everybody. Give me the list of the top supporters. Dick, we love you guys.

Don't forget, if you want to be one of our top supporters And get access to all the bonus episodes Head to patreon.com slash biggest problem And vote we're going to put up the problems Vote on everything at biggest problem Dot show Follow me at Vito Comedy on Twitter I'm back Vito on Twitter

Vito on Twitter Vito's Twitter it's Twitter Vito Vito's Twitter Vito on Twitter. Vito on Twitter. Vito's Twitter. It's Twitter Vito. Vito's Twitter. I like the song now. Vito's Twitter. Vito being Vito on Twitter. Vito being Vito on Twitter. I'm back.

I'm back. Why are you black? I don't know. Vito's Twitter. That's my Twitter voice. Vito being Vito on Twitter. Yeah, buddy. Me and all my N-words are going to have a good time.

All right. Well, now we're fucked. God damn it.