The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 81

Episode Date: March 13, 2023

Thirst Traps, Post Purchase Surveys, Demographic Dummies, Right Wing Alt-Tech  

You know, open our no jumper studio. They did have a couple of unused rooms. I was kind of like, yeah, wasting space. That's how it, burning money, man. That's how it starts. You're burning the money. All right, I'm going to start streaming now. Why do I feel like I'm forgetting something big?

I got the rhyme. Yeah. Okay. Is the theme song queued up? Yeah. You downloaded the stingers. Yeah. Okay. Something, I messed something up. Yeah. You downloaded the Stingers. Yeah. Okay.

Something, I messed something up, man. Problems? I have, oh no! Oh no! Quick, I'll ask the audience. Oh. I'll ask the audience so some shithead can make the same fucking joke about how I outsource all the work on the show. Not realizing that I don't even use their goddamn problems.

Yeah, I don't use the audience problems. Hey, everybody, give me some problems. How about my problem is podcast hosts that make the audience do all the work and make all the money. Yeah, I got it! Get it!

They should be happy they're participating in the show. That's fun. It's always exciting to be a part of something. Podcast hosts drive like this. Podcast fans drive like this. Let's not insult our fans. We have the greatest fans in the universe. They say it because they want to get insulted.

They want it. That's true. That's why. They get off on it. They get They want it. That's true. That's why they get off on it. They get off on it. I hope Dick negs me on today's show. Yeah, they make a dumb post with a dumb joke and they know

I'm going to hate it. Let's nettle him until he fucking, let's niggle him until he blows up. Until he explodes. I get to wait at least 30 seconds before you say niggle on youtube on youtube oh you can't swear change the swear rules on youtube to what you could say all sorts of new stuff like what they got new swears well like originally you

couldn't say it like early on but now they're like it used to be you could only say douchebag after the two minute mark we've moved douchebag back to a minute 20. Are you serious? And then, you know, you still can't say the F slur, but here's some, yeah, there's like all these insane rules. That's dumb. It doesn't make any sense. I don't understand why advertisers are like, we won't sponsor this video if they swear

in the first 30 seconds. But after that, they can say whatever the, they fucking want. It doesn't. What is that? They don't know. Nobody running this has any idea why they're doing anything. They just decided to do it. It's really bizarre.

Man, you are putting that candy bar that you have here in the worst, most disgusting possible place. I'll put it on this thing. Vito is eating a chocolate bar. It's a terrible chocolate bar, by the way. Gradually, for some reason. I don't know why you're just not pounding. Like, who eats a candy bar Over the course of an hour Because it's a terrible

So stop eating it I'm hungry Yeah So you're eating it You're eating it for an hour Like you always do in here And then you leave it out But the resting spot

For your fucking candy bar Is the cup holder That's been here for five years Yeah That has never been washed It has seen the most action Of anything in the studio The fucking cup holder Everything in here is disgusting It has seen the most action of anything in the studio. The fucking cup holder.

Everything in here is disgusting. That's the most disgusting. Anything that you put your candy bar on would be better than that. Everything in the studio is terrible. Five years. It has never been washed. You should hire a lady to clean this place. I don't want any lady to touch this room.

They have free reign to hide all my stuff everywhere in the house, but this room? No. It's disgusting. Instant death. And you still have that sex doll who is horrifying to look at. She looks worse every day. Get her some knee pads so I don't have to look at the horrible holes in her flesh.

Should I put some duct tape on her knees? Something. Anything. I get that tryptophobia looking at her cuz like her Plastic skin is coming apart in holes. Yeah, okay, freaking are you ready to do the show? I swear I'm forgetting something. Yes, let me just get the taste of this terrible cookie Stop eating these cookies you come in here every fucking week I feel like if somebody else is running this show they would have better snacks You don't need a snack for an hour. You can go an hour without a fucking snack.

I think I deserve a little snack, a little something. As I have this drink that I need to have for the show. Exactly. Oh, man. All right. Just a little snack. Nothing big. Yeah, yeah.

Biggest problem in the universe. Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe. Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe. The only show that ranks every problem in the universe from driving on the ground to smelly people all around. It's from Simple Brainlet. I'm your host, Dick Masters, and joining me as always is Vito Giswaldi. Hi, Dick. How you doing, buddy? All right. I love the theme song going so long today?

I love it Because I fucking did That's what I fucked up No it's good It faded out That's fine I'm telling you something is off today Something is off

Convinced he screwed something up about this show I fucked something up man Well we'll see I think it's going to go great Yeah when's our episode of No Jumper? Did they leave that one? Me and Dick. Did they bury that one? I don't know. Vault of top men.

They're not going to bury it. I think it's just Destiny did a bunch of shows. They're putting out all the good ones first. They're putting out all the good ones first, honestly. Well, it was him and Richard Spencer. That's a little more exciting. Ukraine war is going to be. Is it exciting?

What do you want? I don't know. What's exciting about it? I guess they consider it exciting. I love Biden and fucking doop-a-doop. I was a Nazi. Fucking politics. Beep-bop.

Beep-dap. Beep-dap. God, I'm so tired of it. Well, as we discovered on No Jumper, there's nothing left to talk about. It was really tragic. I mean, we started that episode and I said flat out, I hate talking about cancel culture. I can't take it anymore. I'm tired of hearing the same fucking story.

And then we spent the next 40 minutes talking about it. Because it's all that's left. That's all we are now. Yeah. As I said in the beginning, our entire culture has been and replaced with like this endless conversation about cancel culture there's two topics left in the world and it's either cancel culture or the grooming of children and a lot of somehow and they often intersect so what are you gonna do okay you want to do uh who won obviously the homeless one the homeless yeah usb cables good put up a surprisingly good fight.

Yeah, pretty good. Pretty good. No flying cars. Can't imagine why that was not higher. I guess people just love traffic and global warming. I can't believe Trump's talking about flying cars and it's just like nobody even cares. Like, it's nothing. It's like nobody cares.

They're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. I'm like, no, this is like a big thing for a guy to just randomly start talking about, it feels like. Wait a minute. I don't know if I'm recording. Oh, no, there I am. Okay. Yeah, sorry. Make sure you're recording.

That would be bad. See, I'm telling you, something's fucked. Something's wrong. Something's fucked. Well, the audience is happy, at least. Yeah. You should challenge him on his flying car stance. That's what he wants you to do.

Yeah. He wants, he laid that trap out for you to go, actually, that's a dumb idea, and then he's going to say something really dumb. Well, as I realized after we discussed it on the show, this is a guy who's been selling us the idea of a border wall for the past eight years, and then he wants to give everyone a personal aircraft.

I'm like, well, doesn't that kind of defeat the person? Doesn't one of these ideas fight the other one? He's not giving Mexicans flying cars. Oh, they're not going to steal one? No, you're thinking like a liberal where just because you have something, you have to give it to everybody on earth.

I'm pretty sure that if you make flying cars, we want them in here. The Mexicans are going to be the first ones to start flying them around, and the wheels are going to be spinning in the air. Oh, no, here they come. All right. It's going to be. Mexicans either ride low or high. That's what we didn't know about them.

Low ride, high flying. That's what's going to happen. Is that like. Right over the wall. Is that the peak of liberal comedy right now about Trump's flying cars? Well, you know what they say, folks, ladies and gentlemen. Now that we're back. You know, Trump actually.

Here's the funny thing. He had a wall and now he has a flying car, is a bourbon. What do you think of that, Kevin? I came up with that joke independently of any late night broadcaster. I don't know if anyone else has made that joke. Now the Penis Williams band. Hey, everybody. It is a little funny. Carrot Top will be coming out. Shut up. Fuck you. And then in dead last, of course, is community detachment.

And you know why people voted down? Because they're afraid to admit that they don't feel connected to their communities. And then in dead last, of course, is community detachment. And you know why people voted down? Because they're afraid to admit that they don't feel connected to their communities. They'd push it down in their weird millennial nihilistic ways. And they go, I'm fine. Everything's fine. I can go online and hang out with VTubers and whatever the fuck. So you guys are dying inside.

I tried to help you, but you refused you refused Well here's Reverend 4615 says I don't think someone Has dropped the ball harder On the community problem Than any other problem On this show Or the last The online community

He's talking about you The online community stuff Is gay Because Being an anime Video game loving Alphabet person Who identifies as being

Part of that community Is dumb and horrifying It wildly feeds Into consumerism and companies just market trash to people because they will buy it simply because they can identify a certain way and have. So you're saying if I had gotten more homophobic with the problem, I might have won. Yeah. All these gay kids are hanging out on the internet together. They're grooming.

Sending up like women and, you know, taking... They're selling grooming kits to each other they're selling bathtub hormones to each other so you can groom your sex change yeah he's right I should have played the grooming angle always play to the grooming angle mystic marbles says conservatives going to art school is stupid get a real job also conservatives why is the media these days pushing liberal ideas that's good good it's a mystery we talked about that with destiny it's very true uh jack shelton says i find it funny that veto is worried about getting canceled on youtube and then he goes and writes a vote him up stinger like that one wow what did you

which one did you have as the r slur oh yeah yeah but that's like i think you can yeah it's like sparingly yeah you can't make like a bunch of it you know you can Yeah It's like sparingly Yeah You can't make like A bunch of You know you can say it I'm pretty sure You probably can't call

A woman retarded No Yeah I need like a Like a flip board Like at the Chicago Mercantile exchange

Like an old 80s Like retard down Like a line Retard is down Down A line of like The most worst slur. N-words at the very bottom, obviously.

And it's like, F-slurs. Like, trune. Trune the word. I don't know if that's bad yet. Like, I need a grid. It's like, ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch. It's getting there. It's bad, right?

If no one shows up, it'll be like, jogger. And you're like, what? That's a slur now? What? Oh, my God. You bet on the futures. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah.

Tristan Seaver says, Scott Adams is my favorite guest so far. Great guest. He was wonderful. Don't you think? He's so smart. Don't clip that. The chess moves that he was doing. So many layers of chess.

That he was doing So many Layers of chess Artie Duncan says I'm hoping this CNN level Of understanding What Scott Adams said Oh fuck this guy

Was done Just because It would be easier To make funny jokes By completely Ignoring his Contet I don't know

What he's No see Scott Adams is secretly Really smart Cause he recognized That black people Blah blah blah like that's amazing Yeah, Wow Wow what a genius any Italian grandma She will come up come up with these brilliant points that Scott Adams is making did you see he put his Dilbert?

Cartoon is gonna be on locals now and Dilbert swears now Fuck it's like oh fucking shit Young wife now that is an idiot and it doesn't fuck him? Is that going to be part of it? I think so. I think Dilbert's off the chain now. He's going to bring in all sorts of stats. Can you imagine?

I was reading Dilbert like 20 years ago. And at no point did I think, ah, at some point, this guy is going to really just torpedo the whole thing to make some weird point about black people. Jesus Christ. And I'm too dumb to understand. All my years of life. My CNN level of understanding. In LA, like the most racially contentious city in the world. This isn't like the South where races have to get along.

In LA, the races all fucking hate each other. What people don't understand is I go, look, there's a million different ways He could have said like Well that's concerning And I would have been like Yes it is concerning What do you mean

What's concerning If you look at a poll And the poll goes You know you're not okay to be white Or whatever that poll was You go Well that's curious And you know

That you know Is disheartening And hopefully they don't Truly believe that But instead he's just like Get out of there folks They're coming for you Get out of there And folks! They're coming for you! Get out of there! And you're like, well, he took it

too far, you know? Took it a bit too far there, bud. Get away from those people! If you're getting out of there, you don't want to broadcast your plans. They're going to start attacking you and blockade the exit of, I don't know, Detroit, where all these fucking white people are living that you need to get away from, you

idiot. The Scott Adams saga is truly fascinating to me. Alexandriov says, ha ha ha ha, man, I love this show. Been listening to Dick for 10 years. Keeps me sane while embalming? While embalming? I don't even know what text-to-speech problem that was. He's literally embalming dead bodies. He's like a mortician or something.

Let's hope. Pulling brains out with a hook like they do. Jesus Christ. Embalming while he's listening to the show. How embalming? I don't know. Okay, man. Well, keep it up, I guess. Thanks, man. Save me a big wiener. Yeah, hopefully it's legal embalming. If there's a

fan who whatever embalms my corpse, put aside a big wiener of that day and then swap it for my wiener. For my regular wiener. My big wiener, but also a big wiener. Whatever the biggest one is, you should hold on to it. Yeah, whatever that one happens to be. Put it in the casket.

Say it fell off during the process. The wiener fell off, but here it is. This was his. Why is it black? and here it is. But this was his. Why is it black? I don't know. Yeah, you know. Well, that's just the thing that sets in after death. Yeah, no.

You just put it in the coffin so everyone can see it. And you go, well, I mean, that should be part of the death process, is you get to see a guy's dick after he dies. Because what's he going to do? Be like, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Like an upsell.

Because they upsell you on everything. The coroner should go, listen, obviously it's customary to show off the penis at the funeral. But we can, however, cast a larger penis or replace it with perhaps an animal penis. If that's something you think your father would have wanted. Yeah, he would have. Like, well, we got to pay for the gorilla penis. I mean, it's dad's funeral. Like, Chopin has his heart in a wanted. Yeah, he would have. Like, well, we gotta pay for the gorilla penis. I mean, it's dad's funeral. Like, Chopin has his heart in a jar.

Yeah. And I think the Czech Republic, so we should do that now. Like, the funeral is your body and then like a penis in a jar. They should offer a coffin with a hole in the top, but the penis is so big that it comes through. You can only reach it. That's the gold standard. It's like a haunted house.

Ladies, how about that? Your dad had a really big penis. And it's something if you bring in your date or, you know, who hasn't seen your penis yet. She goes, wow, your dad had a really big penis. You go, well, wait till you, just so you run in the family. Wait till you see the leftovers. Yeah, wait till you see the genetics. Okay. The big penis coffin.

I think that's it. You have a. I have an exciting segment which I call voting up. I should have got it queued up first. That's fine. Oh, and I queued up the wrong thing. The biggest problem... What the fuck is that?

I don't know, actually. What was that? The biggest problem in the... The biggest problem in the universe. Oh, hey, that's... With Dick Masterson. I know this guy. And Vito Giswaldi. Really? The biggest problem. What did we do that?

Why did we have that? I might have. He might have done that. They just sent it to us as a thing. He's a. We just never played it? He's a professional announcer friend of mine. I hate when I have something awesome and I forget to play it.

I think he's a fan of yours and I think he might have just sent it unprompted. Fuck. Yeah. Now I got to go search for. Well, you can listen to it later. I feel bad. I've used that guy. He's good.

Used that guy? Yeah, for like commercials and stuff. Adam, do the voiceover. What are you doing commercials for? Like stupid video games and shit. Like what? A lot of it was for the card game company. Oh, okay.

All right, here's your vote. All these internet shows are such trash. Like hack movies and who are these podcasts? That Tony is a clown and I think Carl has downs. But thankfully there's a podcast that's made just for me. Filled with transphobia, racism, and misogyny.

Oh, wow. I want to vote it up. So go to biggestproblem.show, baby. I want to vote it up. If I don't, they're going to kill my family. Vote it up, folks. Fuck you, Carl. Fuck you, Tony.

Guys. That was a pretty good one Yeah I was bopping on that one all day Guys vote it up of course It's the segment where we revisit past problems But for today's vote it up I have a very exciting new twist It's the trifecta

These are problems where three different problems Fit the same ongoing news story. Okay. Now, Dick, do you remember the problems of Seth Rogen? Yeah. Desexification of media. Yeah. And fear of a black elf.

Yeah. Well, all three of those problems have combined to bring us the first trailer for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Mutant Mayhem. Produced by Seth Rogen, the movie reimagines fan favorite character April O'Neil as an overweight black woman who we're going to show you right now. Gross. Again, Seth Rogen has de-sexified our media, and this is Fear of a Black April. Man, that was like She was like The hottest

Yes Like her and that What's that woman From G.I. Joe Oh god Somebody was just Talking about her Yeah the red

Bad guy Crimson Countess Or was that something else No that's from the boys Yeah I know who you're talking about They really did her dirty here This is like

Rebooting For my age group This is like Rebooting Marilyn Monroe as like a man. I mean, I'm a big Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fan because I'm from Western Massachusetts where the turtles were created. You know, there's actually scenes in the comic that are, you know, places I've been to or whatever else. Yeah. Downtown Northampton. And I'm going to say this.

So people are going gonna give me shits They're gonna go well Vito you said fear of a black Elf is bad yeah I think it's Bad if there was a new black character In the TMNT universe I wouldn't care yeah the problem is when You take an existing character And make them not look like

Well she doesn't it would also be fine I think If it was a hot black April I wouldn't Care I would be okay with that as long as she looked like April O'Neil. Hot. It was hot. It's really, the hotness is important. I'm more worried about taking hot women out of everything than I am about, I don't care what color they are, you know.

Everyone knows that this ugly slob could go into the sewer and slum it, but that the hot news reporter is in there means that these guys are doing something special. Right. Any fat, sloppy, Oprah-looking, you know, fun anyway. Yeah, she's got nothing better going on, so it doesn't matter. It's just really- She's going to save her ass from the shredder. Why would the shredder even want this bitch?

Here's how I get people. Is he a fat fetishist? Yeah. Crang, you must kidnap April O'Neil. Oh, yeah. She's so... Shredder, we've already got one big here. Then Bebop comes out, right?

Yeah. Gee, boys. A little big for my liking. Bebop and Rocksteady are like, you will be mine. Big for my liking. Right? Bebop and Rocksteady are like, you will be mine. Can't we kidnap a hot chick? No. Hang out outside of Curves all day,

my foot clan. The second she gets out of Jazzercise, she will be mine. I'm just going to say, here's how I keep getting people The Technodrome needs new shots I go to people and they go No this is great

Isn't it cool to try new designs I think she's from Dimension XL XXXL That was my Krang comedy That was pretty good Thanks You really nail them all I'm surprised that you know any of the X, X, XL. That was my Krang comedy. That was pretty good. Thanks. You really nail them all.

I'm surprised that you know any of the, I don't remember any of the voices from that cartoon. I told you, man, because this was, I would make my parents race home from church. Yeah. Because Turtles was starting at like 10. And when April showed up, you were always excited because. We were off frantically. Yes, yes. All I'm going to say is The whole point of these shows is to sell merchandise And I keep asking people who like this

No this is fine Would you buy an action figure of her Why I would buy an action figure of the original April Being all sexy and with the news camera She was a short print action figure too She was hard to get I don't want her on a t-shirt

She just looks boring, honestly. What's she looking at here that she's so surprised? She's looking at the calorie count of a Frappuccino. She's like, what? I drink three of those every day. Yeah, it's her food diary. Anyway, that is three different problems you can vote up. Again, produced by Seth Rogen, the desexification media, and fear of a blank elf. What a fucking Okay produced by Seth Rogen the desexification media and fear of a black

Fucking idiot fuck Seth Rogen. I saw him complaining that like it's mean. Yeah, this isn't as mean It's like dude. You're making movies for like trash like you're making movies for like the dumbest people. They're all crap You're like fast food of movies. I think I think you really broke when he made that stupid Santa cartoon last year And everyone's like Yeah this is trash Pure trash And he's like oh you guys really hurt my feelings Good that's what we were trying to do

Yeah I think you have a bunch of money Yeah exactly I can't take your money away So the only thing I can do is hurt you Emotionally And you just gotta suck it up Go buy something and it'll make you feel better Well Dick this is another problem that comprises a trifecta because here we have the classic example of woke marketing followed by a boycott of the week followed by anti-woke marketing

steps this week wow critics are calling for a boycott of Hershey's chocolate after Hershey Canada announced the release of limited edition International Women's Day chocolate bars featuring the likeness of trans activist Faye Johnstone. And we have that commercial right here. My name is Faye Johnstone. I'm the executive director of Wisdom to Action. Wait, that's a trans woman? I can't even.

Shut up. Shut up. Wow. Just don't even try to do that bit. Just come on. She's so incredible that, yeah, all right. Sorry, let me start it over. I couldn't even tell.

What famous female celebrity Does she sound like? Caitlyn Jenner She sounds like a famous female Caitlyn Jenner Don't say Buffalo I was going to say A wife of the Buffalo Bills

Quarterback or something Let's hear it again My name is Faye Johnstone Look at that sultry You gotta pause Yeah, sure. Let's hear it again. My name is Faye Johnstone. I'm the executive director. Whoa, look at that sultry. You got to pause it every two seconds. Just let Faye speak for herself. She's a proud, independent, chocolate enthusiast.

Look, 2SLGBTQIA plus advocate. She's got them all. She's advocating for everybody. Good for her. Is MAP in there? No, MAP's not in there. Why? Because it's not part of it. Oh, you got an important call

from the LGBT map squad. I'm getting yelled at by the community, the leftist community, going how can you appear on this awful podcast? I think she sounds great, like smooth, buttery chocolate in my ears that I want to eat. Why don't you let me hear her for two seconds?

My name is Faye Johnstone. I'm the executive director of I want to eat. Why don't you let me hear it for two seconds? My name is Faye Johnstone. I'm the executive director of Wisdom to Action. We can create a world where everyone is able to live in public space as their honest and authentic selves. See the woman changing how we see the future. We're going to change the future. Isn't that exciting? Oh, yeah.

Well, as I said, the certain people, I don't want to categorize them as the right wing, but maybe that's the best. I don't know how to say it. Are they supporting specific countries, these people on the right that are doing this? Oh, you're trying to tie this into Ukraine? Oh, that wasn't the country. The other country. The other one. Well, in response to this Hershey commercial, which some I guess would call a debacle,

Daily Wire co-CEO Jeremy Boring has released a commercial for what he calls Jeremy's Woke Free Chocolate. Retard chocolate. Let's take a look at Jeremy's chocolate. International Women's Day is upon us again, and I love an international woman What the fuck was that? High-fiving a lady? Yeah, because it's International Women's Day. He loves women apparently What the fuck? Alright, sorry

I'm gonna see this high five and I love an international woman But our friends over at Hershey's, they don't even know what a woman is Sorry. Let me see this high five. That was an awkward high five. They put in a clap sound. I don't even know what a woman is. They've hired a biological male to be the spokesperson for their Women's Day campaign. Oh, that's hilarious. What a comedian this guy is.

That was a biological male. They've hired a biological male. He's really selling the comedy. A biological male. A biological male. Yeah, we got it. Yeah, I know So I mean for him her she

Her she it's a joke, but humiliating and it's the reason that I'm watching Jeremy's chocolate we We have two kinds. Nice audio mix. She, her, and he, him. One of them's got nuts. If you need me to tell you which one it is, keep giving your money to Hershey's. Who's that guy smiling on the side? Michael Knowles?

If you're looking for a delicious chocolate bar from a company that actually wants your business, head over to IHateHershey's.com and order Jeremy's chocolate today. Well, you can obtain the he-him, which is a chocolate with nuts. Get it? Or the she-her, which doesn't have nuts. They put the pronouns on the chocolate? I thought that they hated that. Well, that also does not make sense.

I don't get it either. I guess because it's her-she, they reversed it to she-her. They should have put cunt on the woman's. That would have been funnier. They should have made one bar that's just like manly chocolate. And then one that says horrible bitch. That's my chocolate line. It's International Women's Day. And then I high-five myself, and then I smack a woman.

It's a clip of Chris Brown slapping Rihanna. That's the problem. These guys don't lean into the massages as much as they should. Well, Jeremy says he has sold over 500,000 woke-free chocolate bars. That's fucking amazing, bro. At a price of $24 for a four pack So that's $6 For a fucking Chocolate bar

With a stupid Little pronoun joke On it Which let's be clear It's a white label Brand So they just like Found chocolate

That exists And put a different Label on it This idea that you're Like supporting Some sort of Cultural revolution By buying

You're helping Win the culture war By throwing your money Away on stupid Chocolate for this guy. I mean, if you really support Daily Wire, I guess it's just another way to give your money to Daily Wire, but I honestly would prefer you just donate the money to them.

I would prefer you didn't have any money. Buying stupid little gimmick chocolate. I really showed Hershey today. Today, like both sides of that equation. You have women who are going, I can eat this chocolate because it's for a good cause. It's like, I know I'm cheating, but it's for helping. Yeah.

And then you have a bunch of guys going, I'm going to buy this chocolate so that trans kids stop cutting off their fucking dicks. And you're like, both of you are wrong in this situation. Yeah, you're wrong because that's not going to stop them. Again, those problems are woke marketing, boycott of the week, and anti-woke marketing. Don't forget to go to the site and vote it up. I want to vote it up. So go to biggestproblem.show, baby.

I want to vote it up. If I don't, they're going to kill my family. up if I don't they're gonna kill my family it's better with the shorter outro that I was gonna make fun of it but it is better it is better well we've been going a long time already that guy's gonna yell at us for cramming too much

quote filler this is filler this is good this is part of the show some people just complain if there's not like problems immediately I think it's yeah these people are stupid stop critiquing the show we're making a better show Some people just complain if there's not, like, problems immediately. I think it's, yeah, these people are stupid. Stop critiquing the show. We're making a better show.

You don't know. Everybody loves it. All right? Yeah. Everybody who comes in goes, well, actually, if you reduce this segment down to this many seconds and make this, just whatever. Just go with it. Every show is a little different. Sorry.

I didn't mean to set you off. Well, I hate, I hate, I hate the bad. Criticism. Yeah. Yeah. with it. Every show is a little different. Sorry. I didn't mean to set you off. Well, I hate the bad- Yeah. Yeah, me too. All right. Here's my- The only critique I want to hear is, here's $5 for the show. Here's my prop.

Fuck, I had to vote it up too. And I had to veto his Twitter. I'll do those next week. All right. My problem is thirst traps. You ever seen- The concept of them or actual thirst traps? What do you mean the concept of them? Well, because I keep seeing everybody complaining about thirst traps. And I go, I don't think them or actual thirst trap? What do you mean the concept?

Well, cause I keep seeing everybody complaining of a thirst trap. So I go, I don't think that's a thirst trap. What's a thirst trap to you? Are we talking about the ones where it's like ladies being sexy to try and get men to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a big, I hate that.

Okay. But like which ones, what do you mean? All of them. If they're okay. Here's, there was a big like debacle recently where somebody said Blair White is a thirst trap. And she's trying to trick good Christian men. You mean thirst trap trap? Yeah, exactly.

She's a double thirst trap. Trying to trick good Christian men. Am I allowed to put this up on? I think so. Standards and practices going to come down. Where is her wiener? You tuck They tuck

They tuck That's fucking tucked With Photoshop bro Maybe This is Blair White With a gun Yeah this is a thirst trap If you're on hormones long enough

Your penis shrinks down to like Really? The longer you're on it She's been on it a while So she has no penis? Well she has a I don't know if she I don't think she had

Surgery Yeah I hate Okay yeah I hate this That's a thirst trap do you feel like you're do you feel trapped by this i feel like my life force is getting sucked out of me like a succubus if there's any kind of okay any a drawing is fine because it's not actually like it's not helping anyone's self-esteem or hurting it um let me what is the picture picture of Blair White doing to you exactly? It's making men behave in stupid ways where they have to get up and start having opinions.

Yeah. I don't know what that is, but they just start lying and carrying on and saying dumb things every time there's a thirst trap posted. It's just men behaving in ways that I wish they would not do, but they cannot help themselves. Oh, they're thirsty.

They just want a drink. Yeah, here's... From that beautiful feminine penis. Here's a woman's account of being a thirst trap, and it's so cute and funny to them. Yeah. Right? A couple of days ago, I posted a photo with a flower emoji covering my breast.

A man messaged me and asking, how many retweets for you to remove the emoji? Do you see already this, like, crass interaction? You know what it is? It's false advertising. Okay. That's what it is? It's false advertising. That's what it is. If you're not having sex with a percentage of the guys that are messaging you,

what you're doing is false advertising that should be illegal. If you don't have... There's women posting hot women, huge tits, posting pictures. They don't even have their DMs open. I mean, you know? That's not... That shouldn't be allowed. You should at least let the DMs... You don't even have their dms open what am i i mean you know that's not okay that shouldn't be allowed

you should at least let the dms you don't have to you do have to answer some of them well i mean at least leave the dms open a lot of fans they can't sleep with all their fans well then you gotta part of the only get one then well you're giving you're giving pictures what's wrong with the pictures you're're not satisfied with that? That doesn't seat your thirst? No. How thirsty are you? No, that's the worst part. You just get thirstier and thirstier.

So you're looking at fucking Blair White. If I'm thirsty, I have a way to relieve my thirst, all right? What, beating off? That's one way of putting it. It's not enough. It's not enough? It's a fake oasis? At least in my imagination, it goes away.

But then you've got to walk around all day going, oh, man, that bitch is still out there posting these fucking thirst traps. Yeah. Dragging Indian men into, oh, what's up, buddy? A couple of days ago, I posted a photo with a flower emoji covering my breast. A man messaged me asking, how many retweets for you to remove the emoji? I replied, PayPal me 100 bucks. Yeah. me asking how many retweets for you to remove the emoji i replied paypal me 100 bucks yeah the interaction made me laugh so i tweeted a screenshot of it with a link to my paypal and men are

ridiculously thirsty that's that should be revenge porn wait if that that she texted that guy yeah that she said pay me 100 bucks then didn't remove it yeah obviously pay her. That is, that should be against the law. You see how they're toying with our emotions with what they're doing? Companies are required to abide by certain standards and practices and guarantees. Yeah. And they're not allowed to imply anything with their advertising. Okay. And yet women.

I think you are allowed to imply things with your advertising. No. You can't be like blatant about it. You have to say drink responsibly. Okay. But you can still put sexy women in the beer ad. You know, the insinuation being, hey, if you drink this beer, who knows what might happen. You're allowed to put sexy women in the beer ad, Dick. I don't think you'd have a tough time in court going, your honor, this woman led me into

an illegal thirst trap. That should be. And by the time I escaped, I was $10,000 in the hole with no pussy to show for it. Exactly. That should be. That should be the law. Here's. Okay.

Here's where thirst trapping. Why do I see the judge just pointing at her and he goes, sentence to death. Sentence to fucking. You have to fuck this man. Whip those titties out. That's it. Right here. That's it. Right here. That's not enough, though.

No, as long as it's not online. If I can reach out and grab you. If you can reach out and grab them. It's fine. Because then there's a different sort of element. It's the safety of the women. It's the abracadabra rule. What's that mean?

Abracadabra. I want to reach out and grab you. Oh, yeah. As long as I can grab you. As long as she's been grabbing distance. Then it's not a thirst trap. This is where thirst trapping turns deadly. Look at this.

This bitch is in the military or something. Oh, God. Have you heard of this lady? No. What is going to happen here? She's not dead, is she? No, bro. She's tricking guys.

She's tricking dumb guys. Oh, into joining the military? Into joining the fucking military. Exactly, Vito. Exactly. The U.S. military has weaponized this illegal thirst trapping. It should be illegal and turned it into a recruitment tool to get dumb guys, dumb thirsty guys, to join the army where they're not even going to get to fuck this chick or any chick that looks remotely like her. Listen, I'm all about

the military tricking people into service. It's one of the funniest things we do in this country. Yeah. And I don't want to get rid of that. It's hilarious. Look at this. Marketing for the armed forces. Remember, young men, the only way to get with this woman is to join the fucking army

To scrubbing toilets on a naval ship Look at this shit Vito Disgusting Absolutely haram Does it matter Maybe I'll join I'm getting a little thirsty over here Exactly and there's nothing you can do about it. I can join the military

Okay, here's another here's another one. That's been that's why it's deadly how many fucking examples of traps do you? Yeah, a lot a lot of they're all over the place Isn't this one not a good trap is this the one I'm thinking of of? When you say trap, you're saying like a thirst trap, right? Not a transgender. No, no, no, no, no. So this is more than 50. Now, here's why it's bad. Because it's so efficient and militarized that the Ukrainian whatever government or U.S.

immediately started posting pictures of hot thirst trapping whores right when the war broke out to try to get morons onto their side. Yeah. Do you think, don't you see that that's bad? Imagine all those morons. I support our boys in Iran, in Ukraine. What about these women? Oh yeah.

Look at that. Badonkadonkadon. They got a big fat ass on one of them like the fucking Spice Girls. They got two of them implying that they're lesbians and making out with each other on this one. Oh, boy. The barracks are heating up, boys. There's just no fucking way. No one else can get away with this.

I see nothing unethical about this marketing. It should be illegal. It should be illegal for them to do it, for the military to do it. It should be illegal for regular women to do it. I think the situation in Ukraine is so dire that our men need to know that not only will they be doing a great job over there, but you're going to get to shack up with these hot bitches. Head over now.

It drives me fucking insane that this is happening. Go now to your local recruitment station. Okay, and then here's the worst example. So many examples of this. Is this all you do all day is just look at pictures of hot chicks and get mad? I try not to, but yes. This little country known as Israel. Oh, oh, oh.

It's posting. Anti-Semitism voted up What is wrong with this? That they're having all these hot broads Pretending to be in the army That you could fuck them Or that supporting Israel is somehow Fucking these hot girls

When it's actually just fucking me And other guys That's what you're doing By participating in this fraud I support our proud Jewish allies abroad. Look, see? Oh, yeah. Look at that Jewish princess.

She's going to make you some latkes and take you home. Is latkes Jewish? Latkes, yeah. Potato pancakes. She's going to put a, she's going to put, what's the hat? Put a yarmulke on there Yarmulke Uh

Okay She's gonna Hanukkah Your Kwanzaa No wait She's gonna Hanukkah my Kwanzaa Your Nora There's no reckoning

There's no reckoning for these Broads They just do it all day Every day And they get away with it They think it's cute To post this There's no implicit contract

When a lady puts up her titties. It's, you know, if you fall for it, buyer beware, man. I can't even smoke a cigarette in a McDonald's. Yeah, I do want a lemon law. The peach law. Get the DMs open or your ass is going to jail. How do you like that? How would you like to spend a few nights in the pokey?

Sweetheart, open those fucking DMs. I think these are young female entrepreneurs getting it done any way that they can. Okay, and actually, it gets worse. You might... It's not just for women and Blair White. I'm literally looking at a list of like... It's not just for women and... Is this all you do on the internet?

You have like 50 links of thirst traps. Vito, it's not just for women. Is this all you do on the internet? You have like 50 links of thirst traps. Vito, it's not just women in Blair White doing this. It's also men are doing this now. Just beat off and then go do something else. It's not. Don't join the military. It's not enough.

I don't want it to exist. You joined the military because you forgot to rub one out. You're the idiot in that situation. Show me the male first trap. I'm paying attention. How come I can't do anything? How come women can do anything they want and act like total whores online and not put out anything?

And then I always get yelled at for doing literally anything. You just got to commit to it harder. You got to be like Crispy Matt, whoever the fuck that is. Crispy Matt. Here he has POV. You're literally my dream woman. And I see you during my morning walk, and he's got his shirt off. He's obviously doing steroids.

Yeah. And he's wearing a beanie and has a beard. Cool beanie. Yeah, it's a little looser than Tim Pool's, so it is cool. Okay, here it is. And then he goes. Oh, yeah. And then he, like, pretends to notice you.

He doesn't even have obliques. I barely. That's pathetic. Look at that physique. You approve of this kind of content? I think that's a... It's destroying the fabric of civilization. Okay?

People want something to look at, man. You just give them a show. No, they want to fuck someone hot. They don't want to look at them. They want to fuck them or at least communicate with them in some way in the DMs. I don't blame them for this. You know, I blame the VR companies for not moving quick enough. Okay? Because once the VR companies can just

transmit that guy's personality into your virtual sex bot, you're going to be set. He has no personality. Well, good. He won't say anything. You know, I looked up on Thirst Trap. I tried to look up stats and it said Thirst Trapping is is, I already know what it is. And then it said, like, it's also posting pictures of a puppy.

You know how this, like, that's not what it, what the fuck? No one wants to fuck a puppy. No one's going to go to Ukraine because of a puppy. I got to go fuck that puppy in Ukraine, so I joined the army. Well, I guess it's just you get excited for something. Look, have you ever... It's universally negative. I hate...

At least if there's an ad, you know that that woman had a bad time on that ad, and that guys were hitting on her nonstop in the ad. And she probably fucked one of them or sucked their cock. But online... But here they have all the power, and that's terrible. Exactly. Vote it up. Vote up thirst traps for the men too You'll have to provide your links in the description

I have a lot of links Really all day Thinking about this thirst trap shit Look at this where's the wiener I don't again I think I don't know if she got it cut off or if it just shrinks down She didn't get it cut off So then it just shrinks down I She didn't get it cut off.

So then it just shrinks down, I think. I think it becomes like a little, like a buddy. Not that tiny, but tiny enough that you wrap it around, I think. Wrap it around? I think you point it down and then you point it back, like at your butt. Her dick is up her ass? No. I mean, it's pointed at her ass, though though You just have to not get a boner I imagine

I think if you get a boner you're fucked Oh don't worry I'm fine No I mean her Oh You know if they don't get a boner That's my problem vote up thirst traps Vote up fucking vote up thirst traps Unless you love Israel so much

And Ukraine that you just want them to entice dumb guys into joining the military because of their dick. Save those poor men from falling in, from looking at pictures on the internet and not knowing you can just jerk off and be done with it. And then they've got like a million likes and you're like, you fucking traitors. How fucking dare you? You should be in the comments calling them fat But sarcastically so you don't get banned

If you like the picture, they might post more pictures You want to encourage them? No, they post them compulsively I don't know what to tell you, Dick You fucking people I don't know what to tell you You fucking Dick, I've got an exciting little game we're going to play

Alright Alright, now We're in America. Over here. I'm just kidding. Right here. Remember that? Steve Ware.

We are in America, however, Dick. And America is a land with a population, many people, all sorts of demographics. And I want to see what you think those demographics might be. Dick, what percentage of America do you think identifies or is African-American, is black? What do you mean identifies? Well, whatever. What percentage? 13%.

I know. Come on. That's easy. What percentage of America is black? 13%. All right. You got any follow-up questions on that one? Pretty quick. Pretty quick.

Pretty quick. What percentage... Easy. Easy. Easy. What percentage of Americans are obese? Oh, God. Men or women or both?

Both. All of America. I'm going to say 60%. Does that include morbidly obese? That includes morbidly obese, yeah. I'm going to say 65%. 65%, okay. And then last, what percentage of Americans are Jewish?

Oh, God. Sorry, I had to let those lines go through. Two. 2%. Wow, Dick, I got to say. You didn't think I did all this right, huh? The correct number of blacks was 12%. You said 13%.

You're off by one. Very good. How about what percentage are executives in top level positions in the media? Shut the fuck up. That's not part of it. Jewish, 2%. You nailed it. Exactly right.

And obesity, you said 65%. It's actually only 42%, if you believe that they changed the number no way well post-covid this quick this is from 2022 so it's technically post-covid right yeah point is dick that we have all these people all the time talking about uh it's white replacement the immigrants are taking over the muslims taking over. The gays are taking over. There's too many trans people. But the truth is that these Americans, most Americans, are what I'm calling demographic dummies who have no fucking idea how many of these people within the population actually exist.

Now, you said 13% of people are black, very close. What do you think the average American thinks? How many, what percentage of the country is black? Like 40. Exactly. They think 41% of the country is black. Because they're fucking retarded. And here's where it gets really funny. Because 80% of America thinks they're smarter than half the people in America. That's why. 80% of America thinks they're smarter than half the people in America.

That's why. Here's what makes that part really funny. Black Americans think 52% of America is black. Also dumb. All of these populations, they asked people, what percentage of the population do you think is transgender? People said 21%. They estimated it's 1% of the exactly what state is housing

and this stuff it trickles down 60 million trans people that's the thing all these people are so concerned about the great replacement beer or whatever the hell this stupid conspiracy theory well that's real oh is that real great replacement yeah okay hold on let me see yeah okay well this is why they think it's real.

What percentage of the country is Hispanic? Oh, God. Seven? Six? 17%. 17? Oh, wow. But they ask people's believe it's 39%.

They think the country, I don't know how this was from the same study. How do you say 50% of the country's black, 40% is Hispanic, and you're like, yeah, it's probably like 10% of us white guys, right? Like, what the fuck is going on? They don't let them add it up first. Like, if they gave them a chance to go add up all the numbers, they would probably push something around.

Well, it can't be that. You know that thing we were talking about? The idea of the temporarily embarrassed millionaire? Yeah. And everybody thinks, oh, well, I'll be a millionaire eventually. Yeah. Americans, when asked, what proportion of the country do you think has a household income of over one million? They estimated that 20% of the country is making a million dollars a year.

The actual proportion is 0% like with a statistical insignificance. Most people are not making a million dollars a year, but again, this inability for people. Exactly. Everybody is living in a fucking fantasy where they go, yes, everybody's making a million dollars.

The country is 50% blacks. The Jewish question Not that question But a different question Do you believe 30% of the country is Jewish? What? What is this?

Hispanics? Yes When again it's 2% That doesn't even jive with anti-Semitism then It's no longer a conspiracy If there's so many of them Yeah If 30% are running things Where are all the synagogues? They kind of deserve it if there's so many of them. Yeah, if 30% are running things.

Where are all the synagogues? They kind of deserve it if there's so many of them. It's only sneaky if it's a couple. But because the media is talking about Jewish problems so much that it's reasonable to assume. Well, that is. It's reasonable for dumb people to assume that. Part of the problem is that the conversation is always focused on these demographics. People hear about them in the news all the time.

Oh, the trans. They hear about these demographics the news all the time. Oh, the trans. They hear about these demographics. What are the gays up to? What are the blacks up to? And they start to think, oh, they must be everywhere. There must be a bajillion of them. When in reality, I don't know if you saw when Matt Walsh went on the Joe Rogan podcast. Oh, God.

And he's complaining about puberty. A real meeting of the minds. So Matt Walsh is, of course, he's very anti- What is a woman? You bring me this doc. What is a woman? It's kind of like that. Yeah, there was some of that.

Who? Who? Have you tried DMT? Who? I try magical space drug. Matt Walsh, who, again, is like a big anti-puberty blocker guy. So you think you would know his science, would know his numbers, right? I'm literally, that's the last thing

I would think about Matt Walsh. Well, here's what happened. Joe Rogan said, well, how many kids are on these puberty blockers? You gotta be fucking kidding me. He blew this. And Matt Walsh said, I don't know. I think millions. The truth is the number of kids. Bro, that's how many kids have a switch

You stupid asshole What was the actual number like 50,000 20,000 A thousand About a thousand kids are probably on puberty blockers In America right now And again this goes into the population Thinking 21% of everybody is transgender

When it's 1% of the fucking population Yeah They think 27% of the population transgender when it's 1% of the fucking population. Yeah. They think 27% of the population is Muslim. It's 1%. There's no Muslims in America. And the ones that are here, I don't know why they're here because we're not, you know, do whatever you want. I don't care.

They're plotting for another 9-11. Some of these are just wacky, though. Okay. How come I get made fun of for doing preparation And you don't? Well because this preparation is fun I had all these links and you're like I have one study

It's a fun study that we're going through Dick what percentage of the population do you think is a military veteran? Half a percent That's actually 6% which is surprisingly high To me Yeah that is high Half a percent? That's actually 6%, which is surprisingly high. Huh. To me. Yeah, that is high. Yeah, but-

That's a lot of people. Somehow, people estimated that 40% of the country is a military veteran. What the fuck? That's fucking insane. Like, how many people do you know who were in the military? Like- Not that many. I can't think of anybody other than, like, some relatives.

Like, military guys know, like, a million a million military guys like that's all they know uh the point is dick that these demographic dummies are driving these conversations they're blowing certain things out of proportion look you can have a conversation about puberty blockers you can have a conversation about well i mean mean Kanye wants to have A conversation about The Jews and the media Or whatever Yeah what's wrong With having conversations

About Whatever Ye wants to talk about Hey as a proud black man As 41% of the population According to this poll The point is You can't be racist Against black people

And anti-semitic You cannot be both We are having That's probably why They're not releasing Our No Jumper episode, because I went on that whole rant about how you can't be anti-Semitic and racist against black people. They're figuring out a great edit around. I don't even think they understood what I was saying, honestly.

No, I don't think they... Destiny did. Oh, I gotcha. I was there with you. I'm like, I know what you're saying. I don't know if the audience is going to get there. The point is, Dick, that these conversations we're having are completely skewed by the fact that everybody is making wild assumptions about the size of these populations and blowing these problems out of proportion. But who's doing that?

Like, these people are just saying what they see on TV. They're not smart. But that's the problem, though, is that maybe the TV needs to tell them Listen here's the thing that happened But also 13% of the population is black It's not you know Think about that before you go Why would there be so much

1% is Muslim You don't really gotta worry about Whatever they're doing Why would there be so much coverage of black people Like why are kids being taught So much retarded shit about black history Why Black History Month Okay fine that's like 13% of the year That's fine Why are kids being taught so much retarded shit about black history? Why?

Black History Month? Okay, fine. That's like 13% of the year. That's fine. But clearly, if we're using dumb people as an example of what the media is telling them, there's a clear agenda to get people, to at least expose people to represent. there's an agenda I think in the media non-proportional to yes

scare people about certain demographics and tell them oh Sharia law is going to take over and then people start thinking oh my god there's Muslims everywhere

there's Muslims in every street corner when in reality the Muslim population again is about 1% and I don't think they took over London didn't they

that's I don't think they took over London yeah they did. They're taking over fucking Scotland, too. You're part of the problem now. What do you mean? They had a London mayor who's like, terrorism is just part of being in a big city.

No, that's not exactly what he meant. Sherlock Holmes never said that shit. Sherlock Holmes is like, I'm facing the greatest fucking minds of history. This is an American study. This is an American problem. I don't know what the fuck's going on in London. It's not good. They got grooming gangs or whatever the fuck. Rapes are American problem. I don't know what the fuck's going on in London. It's not good. They got grooming gangs or whatever the fuck.

Rapes are happening. How about Sweden's rapes? You ever heard of that? I feel like we're off topic. I feel like this is not helpful. You would say that. I feel like we should focus on the facts. And the truth is, again, guys, 1% of the population is transgender.

1% of the population is Muslim. 2% is Jewish. And you guys guys gotta stop believing that these groups are trying to replace you or take over the country but that's happening no it isn't what do you why is it not happening who's taking who's replacing who where what about all those jobs that are like we're looking for women and minority people that's just white people trying to make themselves feel better about being white people it's the white people in charge being like but we're the good ones it's still white people in charge being like, but we're the good ones.

It's still white people in charge at the end of the day. What about all the reparations and stuff? They hire like a couple brown people, so they go, hey, look, we're doing our thing, you know? And then your trains start crashing. Stop it. Stop it. What about all the reparations and stuff? You're going to get demonetized again.

You're going to get us a strike again, you fucking idiot. What about all the... I don't want to talk about any of idiot. What about all the reparations? Good. Everybody gets a reparation. Why not? Not me. Well, yeah, because you and your people came here illegally.

I'm just messing with you. What do the Italians get? We deserve some reparations. Pizza. I'll take it. I'll take some pizza. You get free'll take it. I'll take some pizza. You get free pizza for life. I'll take some Papa John's gift cards.

You get a free cheesy bread every year. What do you mean you don't think there's a replacement going on? You got to say. What do you mean? Okay. What do you mean a replacement? Like they're trying to make white people not the dominant force in America? Yeah. White people will always be the dominant force in America? Uh, yeah.

White people will always be the dominant force in America. It's never going to stop. What do you mean dominant, though? Like the tax mule? Like, all right, white people, get your fucking taxes ready. Here we go. We're coming and skimming off a new layer of money to send to God knows where. We're sending it to other white people. Slavs.

They give us kickbacks. White people don't wear track suits They give us kickbacks Fuck you Alright point is Demographic dummies Guys vote it up What a great problem for me I let a lot of things slide

I will not let you say There's no great replacement happening There's no great replacement We're not that show What about all the kids? Call it anything else. What about all the school stuff? Anything else other than that. Criminal race theory or whatever they're teaching. I don't care. Just don't

call it the great replacement, for the love of God. It's a not great replacement. Okay, fine. Call it that. It's still bad. Think of a better term. You brought it up. I did not bring it up. I brought it up to fucking argue against it. Okay? Oh, what am I brought it up to To fucking argue against it Okay

Oh what am I supposed to I don't want this show You're replacing me That they feed it into a YouTube Fucking Nazi machine You're trying to replace me And then it goes Oh it's another Nazi channel

You should have come up With a fucking metaphor then Jackass It's not my fucking fault You can say it once or twice You're not supposed to say it Over and over The grape replacement

The grape replacement They're replacing these grapes? Sure. Call it that. At least it won't show up. With figs and prunes and kumquats and papayas. I'm tired of all these figs running the government. Get out of here.

Shut up. Fuck you. You shouldn't have brought in such an incendiary topic. It'd be so much fun to have a debate about it. I'm literally arguing in the... Okay, fine. 2% of kumQuads control the entire... That's not what I...

Go! What do you got for me? Post-purchase surveys. How did we do? You just bought some batteries at Best Buy. Please stay tuned for a survey after this call so you can tell us how we did yeah with your uh why don't you guys do your own why don't you why don't you do work on your time and then i'll just

go do my life and not do a bunch of free work for your fucking optimization for your sales optimization agency how about that why don't you just call me a racial slur instead of saying, hey, do you want to do a bunch of work for us for free? No. Why the fuck would I want to do that? How about I burn this whole fucking building down for free? How about I do that?

Hey, stay tuned for this. Oh, yeah, thanks. Oh, thanks for calling in and figuring out how to get your money back from that flight that didn't work and no one could do it. So you had to call the bank and get a charge back. By the way, stay tuned after this call.

Let us know how we did. Let us know how we did. And it really affects me. My life is impacted by you wasting your time and working for this company for free. Don't fucking involve me on your bad decisions. I only do it if I get something for free. And even then I feel like I'm being ripped off. Yeah.

Yeah. I got a... Here's something that pissed me off recently with this. I tried to buy, again, one of those five head shavers or whatever. The ones that contours your head. Do you want to put your toupee on again? I do love this thing. I looked at it afterwards and I was like, I kind of think it's a good look.

The point is, so I bought that thing, that head shaver, and I was like, well, I want to get one that has good reviews. And I looked at the reviews and they're all pretty good. Yeah. And I got it. It kind of sucks. Yeah. And I looked in the box and it's like, hey, if you leave us a five star review, we'll send you another head for the unit. And I'm like, well, that's why it has five star reviews because they're bribing all these fucking people yeah, so I got tricked

Exactly the same thing also it that should be illegal to the post even suggesting that I have to do additional work Am I beautiful it's crooked well I gotta figure out where it's well. Well, the bangs are where the front is. They don't go over your ear. Wait, where's the front? Fucking rotate it. Do I do it backwards? It's not backwards. You put it on sideways. You gotta mull it.

It's party in the front. Or business up front, party in the back. Not business on the left side, party on the right. I think it got a little bunched up in the back. I gotta pull it down. You look like Hollywood Hulk Hogan I think it's a good look Because your hair is all blonde and your beard is Yeah exactly

The opposite color of your hair Alright Yeah Yeah also you ever go to like GameStop And they circle the survey and they're like It really helps me out If you can do the survey on the website. I'm like, I don't want to help you. You work at GameStop.

You could win $50. You could win $50. Oh, I'm beautiful. Why don't I spend that $50 on soda and just spray it all over the store? How about I do that? It's going to take one hero who flips out over this post-purchase survey shit and ends it for everybody it's it's theft it is it's theft they're stealing your time you ever go to a restaurant they're like if you leave us a yelp review we'll give you like free food yeah i don't

want to do it i do it though i feel and i get all like i get like way too into it because i'm like oh maybe this guy will really hook me up because I want, you know. I did it at Red Lion. We love Red Lion. Yeah. They're like, oh, if you do this, I'll give you 50% off a sausage or whatever the fuck it was. That's fine. I don't like it.

They're bribing me. But stay tuned after this. Oh, stay tuned after this exciting customer service survey to fill out this fucking survey. And then they send you an email. Survey to fill out this fucking survey and then they send me an email. I got the email. That's like hey We're gonna follow up about this fucking stupid like chat you had with like your internet wasn't working I'm like I don't want to talk about it. Yeah, I don't so I'll be done with it. What do you think happened? It doesn't work. That's it work And I called you guy and I yelled at him and then you're gonna what you're gonna call me up and be like well

How did you feel yelling at that guy? Well? You I don't want to yell at you I don't want to Do with any of this here's what we do Every time it comes up just say oh yeah I would love to take the survey and then the survey Is one star I was raped You know the only surveys I take seriously Are the magic the gathering

Player satisfaction survey What the fuck is that I really rip them a new one. What is that? They just go like, hey, will you take a survey if you're happy with magic cards? What are you mad about with magic cards? I go, well, after you introduced the Godzilla cards in Ikoria, I was already worried that this game was going

down an IP rabbit hole. But now that you're doing standalone Lord of the Rings and Doctor Who sets, I say no, sir. You are ruining this game and the very integrity of it. Yeah. I leave him a big thing, and I'm sure that the guy at Hasbro goes, okay, put that in the psychopath pile. They're doing a whole Lord of the Rings set, Dick.

Booster packs of Lord of the Rings magic cards. It's dog shit. And Aragorn is black for no reason. Is he really? Yeah, he's black in the Magic the Gathering cards. It's dog shit. And Aragorn is black for no reason. Is he really? Yeah, he's black in the Magic the Gathering cards. You've got to be kidding me, really? I thought about bringing it in. You know Aragorn, like the one everybody loves?

The king, the return of the king. Yeah, the return of the king. It's Aragorn. When the ghosts are like, you promised us. Are you going to renege on your promise? Don't be a renegade. Ghost! Your cage is haunted.

It's painted. Really? Is that true? You can look it up. Look up black Aragorn. Magic. Or just whatever. Look up magic Aragorn.

Black Argonite. Yeah, that's it. Aragorn. Yeah, the Lord of the Rings set. The most popular human character has to be a black guy because we live did they change it to lord of the rings no they didn't make it lord of the rings or lord of the rings or whatever stupid joke you want to make sorry uh there you go this is it yeah fuck that site but yeah you can look at it

where's the coast fuck this site what did yeah, you can look at it. Why fuck this site? What did this site do to you? Because they're like a Christian fucking propaganda site. So you can't even look at the picture on the site? You're so immediately upset about it. You can look at the picture on the site, but you read the article and it goes, well, this is against God's law or whatever the fuck. And you're like, all right. Yeah, but like you for a moment wanted me to find another site to look at this picture on.

I honestly wish that, yeah, because this site is terrible and the guy who owns it is a piece of shit. This is Aragorn? That's Aragorn. What? This guy's fucking Liv Tyler? Fear of a black elf, Dick. Fear of a black human? Well, it is a black human, that's true.

Why would they do this to black people? What do you mean? Aren't black people happy when they get jammed into Lord of the Rings for no reason? I mean, I don't know. And piss off a bunch of other people? It's like a contentious topic. Like, what is the point of this? Sell magic cards.

And so you're saying there's no kind of replacement? I think that honestly the problem was they're like, well, great replacement at all. That's different. That's different. That's not great replacement. It's still, again, it's all white people making these decisions. The British guy, the Tolkien, the famous. Okay, we're not doing the Lord of the Rings fight again.

It's just the mane of it is replaced by a black guy, but nothing to see here, folks. Not talking about Lord of the Rings again. I'm tired of that fucking fight. Does the sword glow black, too? Are the hobbits black? Stop it. Knock it off. What? Why? Does he smoke a big J-bone

before he fights? No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying other stuff. Does he rap now? What are you trying to say? Fuck you. No. What else is black? I think that it's just Wizards of the Coast. Gandalf is gay. The fucking company Magic is now run by a bunch of hippies

And I'm sure at some level They said there's not any black characters We have to make somebody black because that's our thing Eragon one They made Eragon black Alright that's why no one was No one could say anything Whatever I'm not buying

I didn't buy any Fucking Fortnite buying I didn't buy any Fucking Fortnite cards I didn't buy any How come he doesn't have long hair? I almost bought the Warhammer cards I shouldn't have even bought the Dungeons and Dragons cards You should have like a weave Okay, enough about Black Aragorn

We've got it, we're there Say a couple more stereotypical things About black people and then we can move along. Look, Cat Williams, he looks cool. See? Yeah, they should have made it look like Cat Williams. That would have been better. That would have been pretty cool. I would have been okay with that.

Okay, whatever. Alright, my final problem, Dick. We ready to do this? Yeah. Got a news story for you. From September 8th, 2022th 2022 rumble the video sharing platform announced plans to launch rumble exclusives an innovative live streaming lineup featuring independent creators in a two-way dialogue with their audiences ceo two-way dialogue isn't that a ham better than a one-way dialogue or that three-way dialogue this is a two-way dialogue? Yeah, isn't that a... Damn. Better than that one-way dialogue or that three-way dialogue.

This is a two-way dialogue. It's intimate. As CEO Chris Pavlovsky said, the writing's on the wall for the credibility of corporate media. Everyone in the world should have access to unfiltered content, raw opinion, and more importantly, being able to engage in a two-way dialogue with truly independent creators.

We believe that independent creators will unshackle audiences from corporate narratives and allow everyone to reach their own unbiased and educated conclusions. Wow, that sounds like a platform that's dedicated to getting viewpoints from across the political aisle, which is why they've hired Stephen Crowder,

Donald Trump Jr., The Rubin Report, former Fox News host Dan Bongingo, former Donald Trump advisor Kimberly Guilfoyle, and a bunch of other stupid conservative talking heads. Dick, my problem is right-wing alt-tech because as a YouTube creator, I do want alternatives. I'm always waiting for somebody to come along and challenge the dominance of the major players in any tech space, be it Twitter, social media, Facebook, YouTube, whatever else. And every time these guys show up and they go, we got a great alternative. It's independent. You can speak your mind. And why don't you follow our star account for the day richard spencer or whoever the

fuck and they immediately fuck it up yeah just be politically neutral and then people of all types will like go over there and use it don't immediately okay you can hire steven crowder i don't care that's fine but why don't you hire like It is dumb I don't even think it's a good Way to spend your money cause what was he Bitching about they have no alternative anyway Like where's he gonna go to Odyssey Yes he has nowhere else to go I posted yesterday

I mean I know like Nixon Rumble Well Rumble is their Technology and their interface does not work And I've been hammering. I've been trying to hammer them as aggressively as possible online because I want them to fix it. Yeah. And like the only way you get that is just by being as cruel and as loud as possible.

Because they clearly are. They clearly think they're going to buy their way into relevance. And this has never worked. They're just throwing money. It didn't work for DLive. It didn't work for Pets.com. It didn't work for DLive It didn't work for Pets.com It didn't work for Mixer Yeah

I guess maybe they're young And they didn't see What happened In the year 2000 Yeah Like we did But No it's crazy

That they're throwing This money away At like Crowder Because didn't Crowder Want more than 100 million So that means They probably paid him Like 150 or something

I have no idea And I go, well, okay I understand why the economy is using Guys, fix your fucking interface This is how you do a live stream You load it, you click live stream And then you put in the time, or not And you say, go

And then it gives you a URL You don't need to sort out the exclusivity Of your post, which makes no fucking sense You don't need to upload a demo video that everyone has to listen to for five seconds when they're waiting for your stream that loops over and fucking over like a DVD menu. It's just so fucking stupid.

Everything that they're doing is so fucking stupid. It aggravates me that they got so much money to do dumb things with. And everyone tolerates it because they want their money. You tolerate because you want Rumble money. If Rumble gave us money, I'd be like, yeah, hey, let's do it. Let's make it happen. I tried uploading some videos to Rumble.

It's got, they need, yeah, that's the thing. The platform sucks because I uploaded a video and I'm like, I'm just going to upload a video and I want to see Rumble's discoverability. I'm not going to tell anyone I uploaded a Rumble video. I just want to see, can people find it with keywords or search or front page? After about a day, it's gotten, I think, three views. And I'm like, you guys can't sort this into like somebody's homepage or like anything. Like you don't want to try and like get your users excited about posting videos.

Compare that to YouTube. I post a video like a short, even if it's not like a dead channel, it'll have a couple hundred views because they're just like, yeah, fuck it. Maybe this kid will hit on something. At least fake the views. At least do something to get people excited. But yes, they are just spending their money on hiring people they like, like Russell Brand, Trump Jr.

Like, oh man, I really, I can't wait to see what Trump Jr. has to say. Is it like a shittier version of Trump? Oh, sign me up. I just don't know how you don't look at all the other because you have gab, you have bitch shoot, you have parlor, you have getter. And it always is the same thing is that it immediately becomes this echo chamber of right wing guys. Yes. And then it becomes like weirdly racist and all the conspiracy theory shit gets over there. And then it becomes like weirdly racist and all the conspiracy theory shit gets over there. And it's like, okay, I know you want to allow that, but you also have to balance it out

with other stuff. Lolliporn. You have to post lolliporn. I don't know if that's the answer. Fucking legal. So posted. You're about free speech posted today. I think that just, if you're throwing all this money around, I don't know why these guys,

I look at a channel like Red Letter Media, which is just like a middle of the road channel. It's got great views. It's not political in any meaningful way. It's just guys talking about movies. And I go, if you gave those guys an exclusivity deal, their audience would come over. Why does it have to be exclusively political guys that you want to fill your platform with? Scam artists. I guess maybe that's part of it.

I don't know. Like, it doesn't make any sense, actually. I think that some people would follow them. I just, I see. But why would they do it? Like, that's what I'm saying. I just don't understand why you exclusively get the most, you know, again, do you really need Dan Bongingo or whatever his fucking name is? Because conservatives, all conservatives care about is getting paid.

Making them and their friends rich. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they do that in the government and they do that in their version of the media or whatever. Their entire MO is to capture as much money-making audience as possible and then to siphon all of their labor and money out and fuck any sort of political movement that exists. Right. I look at Rumble and I go,

why would I come here? Because when I go to YouTube, I don't watch political content at all. I find all of it just obnoxious and terrible. I'm watching guys sharpening knives and raiding their local Goodwill for shit To flip on eBay

Cleaning like old Nintendos Cleaning old Nintendos A silent video Of a guy Putting an infrared Light on a thing And not even explaining

Why he's doing What he's doing And it looks just Fucking beautiful Afterwards And you're not gonna See that in Rumble Because their interface

Is totally broken And retarded And there's no Discoverability For any of those videos And their audience Because the audience They've brought in Is only people Who want to watch This stupid political content That's it retarded and there's no discoverability for any of those videos and their audience because the audience they've brought in is only people who want to watch this stupid political content that's

it that's all your platform is going to be forever it's never going to branch out no one's going to be like i should stream hogwarts legacy over on rumble and it's like no because there's no point the only people there just want to hear endlessly about the groomers and the culture war and the whatever the fuck you can't advertise with it. Like, your whole, do you not even understand what the monetization strategy is for this? First of all, Google is not going to let their advertisers advertise on your platform. Right.

Okay? So you're getting boycotted there. Like, what are you going to advertise? Fucking Trump collector plates and NFTs? Well, I did see their press release saying, Truth Social is now advertising on Rumble. And I'm like, oh, okay. So you're all just

sucking each other's dick like this is such a waste of everyone you guys have to make money eventually you have to sell hollywood ads eventually you can't wait for gina carano's new next cowboy movie to fund this entire endeavor and you can't yeah wait for you know a million woke coffee companies to come running and i don't't know. What are you going to do? Sell guns and cowboy boots? You can't sell guns. At a certain point. You know how YouTube makes most. You cannot sell guns and cigarettes.

If guns and cigarettes were on the table, a whole new ball game. If you could advertise cigarettes and liquor on the internet, it would be totally different. The Republicans kind of shot themselves in the foot by letting all the bands on those advertising. And they deserve it. Now there's no advertising dollars for them. I'm saying YouTube makes like... It's advertised for fentanyl.

That's what you need. Sure. I mean, I look at YouTube. I think like probably 20% of their advertising revenue probably comes from all that kids content. Kids just watching stupid toy opening videos and like shitty clips of Peppa Pig. Is Dan Bonoingo making kids? Is he going to make kids? No.

Is he going to unwrap toys? And they're not going to put kids ads on the thing. You're never going to have like a kid. Like how is Rumble going to make money? I don't know. Well, advertising, but who the fuck is going to? They can't. Well, there's no one.

What advertiser? The only thing you could advertise for is, I don't know, get a Fox News Plus subscription or whatever the fuck. Like what? The interface drives me fucking insane. Because I've been trying to get it fixed for, since last year. I saw they were responding to you and they're like, well, I don't see what the problem is. Well, they were literally like, try looking at it with a gun in your mouth.

They're like calling you crazy for calling them out i couldn't even get the dick show as a title on there because it wouldn't pass through the filter yeah like we'll just take it off like get rid of it obviously well who cares if the pussy pussy i want to upload old episodes of the dick van dyke show like what are you gonna do and they're like oh i don't know you can't say dick uh right wing alt tech dick biggest problem in this is a reg this is a conversation that we had a lot on backed by yeah like we didn't want to turn it we didn't want it to turn into like a uh right wing nazi enclave yeah i mean it's a it's un it's uncensorable so whatever you want to do you

could do like you can't be i understand that you're constantly fighting against that, because, like, the guys who gravitate to your platform are naturally going to be the guys who are banned from everywhere else. But, like, Rumble has a bunch of money. They're going out of their way to make it. Yeah, they're doing the thing that would have happened anyway. Yes! It would have become a right-wing

echo chamber without doing anything of the sort. Without spending any money! And they're going, oh, God, how are we going to get right-wing people to argue endlessly about politics on our website? We better give $150 million to Steven Crowder because there's no other way. People will do that anywhere. You can set up a fucking BBS

fucking news page or whatever and immediately people are going to show up and start spamming the N-word. Okay, you don't have to spend any money to make that happen. They should have paid little guys. Yes. Like Steven Crowderder like guys like your size they should get yeah like medium talents they should put our show and give us an exclusivity for our podcast netflix should go and give everybody on patreon who's got more than like 500 people yeah followers they should give them like a deal like here make stuff for not a terrible idea.

Make a little stupid show. I don't understand Instead of giving it to Seth Rogen. Yes. What's he going to do? He's going to make April Black. Because he's one of the good white people. Well, one of the good 2% white people. Anyway, what a show

we've got here, folks. BiggestProblem.show, vote it up. All the problems on the leaderboard will be available after the show for you to vote upon. And don't forget to check out patreon.com slash biggestproblem as well as backed.by slash biggestproblem where you can hear our newest bonus episode, which is currently undetermined. We have to figure out a theme very quickly. Yeah, we do. We'll see.

Okay, maybe we'll do it. We might do it tomorrow or the next day or something. We ran a little long. But what a show. What are our problems? Our problems today are demographic dummies. Yeah. Right-wing alt-tech. Right-wing alt-tech. My problems were... Demographic dummies Yeah Right wing alt tech

Right wing alt tech My problems were Thirst traps And Post purchase surveys Post purchase surveys Okay here's some voicemails Hey Dick

Hey Vito I got a question for Vito here What's the difference between a comic book A manga and a comic strip Hey Dick, hey Vito I got a question for Vito here Yes What's the difference between a comic book, a manga, and a comic strip? Is that a serious question? What medium is it? Well, do you have an answer? Comic book is a

Comic strip American Magna? A comic book would be an American comic Which is typically in a floppy form Oh, a manga is like a book No, a manga would be a A comic book would be an American comic, which is typically in a floppy form. Oh, a manga's like a book. No, a manga would be a Japanese comic book, which is either contained within a, typically contained within. But they're like a book, aren't they?

With the Japanese manga? Yeah, it's like thicker. When they re-release the volumes. Oh. In Japan, typically they'll come in large magazines containing a great number of manga. Okay. And a comic strip is what you get in your newspaper, you retard. Okay, let's see.

So that's the difference between USB 1, USB 2, USB 3, the protocol and how it transfers data. What you're bitching about is the fucking connector styles. USB-A, USB-micro, USB-B, USB-C, all that bullshit, which is a fucking legitimate complaint. It has nothing to do with whether or not it's USB-1 or USB-2 or 3 or whatever. So you messed up, he's saying. It's all about the connectors on the ends of it. I don't think I was complaining about that.

I think I was just complaining about it. Because it's the connectors that was your problem and you messed up. I don't think my problem was not the connectors. What's your problem then? My problem was when the cables are faulty and fail and they don't tell you which ones are rated for which type of charging. What did I put on the site then? Put USB cables. Okay, well then I don't know. Yeah, I don't know what this guy's talking about. I don't know what he's talking about. Fuck you.

Wait, wait, wait. I meant to play this one. Hey guys, just calling in to leave an impression of everyone I know who's going to call in and leave comments about you guys' understanding of USB. So, okay, here we go.

Whee! I guess, I mean, okay. Pretty interesting. So we screwed up the difference between 2.0 and 3.0, is that you can have a 3.0 and it can have a different connector. And I was talking about a micro USB connector of a 2.0. Who fucking cares cares it doesn't matter the point was that the cables suck

at charging after time and I don't know why they break and there's nothing to tell me there's nothing usually that makes me know why they break I guess I don't know if it's because they're dusty or the cable the wires fucked or I got the wrong kind dusty well somebody told me oh no that's just

port you got dust in the charging port and I'm like is me No that's just port You got dust in the Charging port And I'm like Is that the problem I don't fucking know You get dust in the port Yeah like It doesn't make a good enough

Connection or something Okay Maybe he was trolling me I don't fucking know anymore Alright Here's another voicemail My favorite thing About the new show

Is Dick acting like He works out too hard To do Quote unquote Womanly things Like washing Protein bottle After work I didn't quote That's not a quote Acting like he works out too hard To do quote unquote womanly things Like wash his protein Bottle afterwards That's not a quote

The guy's workout regimen is Pilates And doing blow to replace His meal You got me on that Alright Pilates Too hard I was gonna

I was gonna yell at you but you got me You got me with that You got me with the one two Sir You couldn't fucking do, this guy couldn't do pilates Oh okay No way, no way he could do Is that how men like each other now?

You could do He just couldn't do it You couldn't handle the downward facing dog the way I downward facing dog It's not Down Face Dog in Legree Pilates video Oh really? It's got a whole reforming machine, it's high intensity Mmm Couldn't do it

Sounds like I would bet on that Sounds like Jazzer says That's what it sounds like You ever done that? No, my mom did though Right Really? Sounds like Jazzercise. That's what it sounds like. You ever done that? No, my mom did, though. Really?

She's still fat. Here we go. Yo, Dick and Vito. These flying cars are cool, but they are not what you are thinking. My buddy owns a patent on the propellers it is a six person thing kind of shaped like a minivan with a giant helicopter propeller out at the top it can pick you up take you where you want to go and drop it off but the problem is you have to have a helipad there is a shitload of wind that comes off these things negativity you are not just going to be able to hover around and drop you down

at the liquor store and pick you up. Yeah, I can do whatever I want, actually. There are dedicated spots where you go, they pick you up, they run you somewhere else, drop you off, and you're gonna have to catch an Uber. You jackass. What are you gonna do with all the fucking streets when we have a flying car? Why? You've got

helipads all over the entire country. They're called the street where people are walking around Why? You've got helipads All over the entire country They're called the street Where people are walking around and then The helicopter car comes and you go Whoa! We don't need those anymore In Trump's new America I still think it still sounds like

You're going to be able to get over that wall pretty quick You go up You zip across This fucking guy like his buddy Is the only guy that knows how to make a car fly with a bunch of stupid helicopter shit all over it. Do you have the patent? No. No, but it's probably a better way to do it.

Let's just use magnets. Magnets. Okay. Magnets. Here's one. Yeah, you brought in the best fucking problem ever, Dick. Homeless people. I don't know if you guys have some problems here, but in Canada, they're so fucking entitled.

Like, I work at a place, and beside it's like this little forest for this fucking tent city. And they called in a fucking noise complaint. Anyway, go fuck yourself. I work at a place. You work at a place You work at a place What was that? Homeless people are such a blatantly Like easy problem

It's not a good problem You wouldn't have brought it in Because you like love pretending That you care about them Being on fire Yeah no shit Don't bring that in No because it's stupid

Here's another homeless people voicemail hey Dick you forgot to mention the biggest probably the most annoying thing

about the homeless is we have to pretend like we fucking care like nobody really cares right but

instead of saying everybody says man we need to get them the help they deserve. Like, they just need, we got to get them help. Everybody needs it. We got to get them help.

Fuck that. Pile them all up into a meat grinder. All right. All right. All right. I don't want to be that. Okay. There's another podcaster who famously went on a rant.

He's like, oh, there's so many homeless in LA. Why don't we just line them up and kill them all? And it didn't go very well for him. I think our audience would know that we don't believe such things. Well, we don't say it. I don't want to kill all the homeless, all right? Now you're making this a whole thing. I stopped the voicemail, and that was enough.

And now you're making statements. I want to give every homeless person a fucking. Make statements for yourself. Mansion in the sky. I just want them not to be homeless anymore. Don't give me that look. I know what you're doing. Don't.

No, no. Stop it. I want them to. I want to end their suffering. Take a look at me. He goes, I want them to... I want to end their suffering. Dick looks at me and goes, I want them to get everything they deserve. What does that mean? You know what that means. Yeah, all right.

Fuck you. I want to cure their addiction problems and their mental illness. Stop it. Stop it. In the quickest and most efficient way known to man. I didn't say that. All right. Let's do.

In the style of the German scientists. No, Dick. No. Let's do super chats. Let's do super chats. We do have to reflect on last week, which we'll see it if we go into our super chats. As the show was ending, we received a super chat from a certain individual. Let's see if we can find it.

What, the $50 one? The Islamic prayer? More than that. Go down. Really? Yeah, dude. Episode 80. Andrew Aimee for $100.

A call to prayer? Says, let's get a call to prayer. Dick. I think we got to give this gentleman. The glory to Allah. Yes. So now you're all about it. I love it.

No, before you were saying what is this bit, but now he has $100 on the line and you're like whatever. Yeah, it's hilarious. I always make it Pokemon cards. That's the fucking point of the bit. What do you want to make it? Yu-Gi-Oh cards. Apostate. Apostate.

The Yu-Gi-Oh card is shit. Art is shit. I think that card is the most best trading card. And the magic card, the Pokemon card is for infidel. The magic card have five different color of mana. I can't believe what I am hearing. You don't have fairy, fairy energy, colorless energy. You have waste and shit that they gave up on immediately.

They're not even any nullet. Pokemon has stolen the land system from Magic's mana system. It is a disrespectful translation of the holy game Magic the Gathering. Pokemon has been around for longer than Magic. No! It's true. By Allah, it's what you're saying true. Magic released in 1994.

Pokemon released in 1990. Wait, actually, I think it might be the same year. I don't know which one came first. Either way. It is the infidel game. It is the infidel. You never go to Burger King and get Magic Prize and your Happy Meal knockoff.

You get Pokemon. You never have Magic Movie because and get magic pies and your Happy Meal knockoff. You get Pokemon. You never have magic movie because all IP is dog shit. Pokemon has good IP. Good story. Ask Ketchum. The prophet asked Ketchum. It's a good story. Brock, his friend who never get the pussy, is a good story.

Misty, look like a little whore. Good story lesson for young girls to cover up and not act like little cunts Magic was created in 1993 The Infidel Pokemon Shop In 1996 Is a direct re-puff Of the Magic the Gathering Magic has

A stupid Plainswalker system They obviously Have incredible depth and complexity. Confusing and... Don't be interested in that game of Allah. Magic Planeswalker system was obviously made so they could make movies about magic, and it just ruined the fucking game.

Pokemon game design is so terrible that they have to introduce EX, then GX. How many X Pokemon do we need? What happened to traditional evolution Pokemon? Rapid Strike Pokemon. Fuck Rapid Strike. Oh my God, V-Star. Fuck V-Star. Pokemon V.

Fuck V. Fuck X. Fuck GX. Fuck all of them. What do you have in Magic? Mutate. Transform. And they don't even use transform on the transformal Pokemon.

This is very haram. Magic is the most beautiful game. Pokemon is for child. Okay. So the bit is now arguing about Pokemon and magic cards.

I don't know if that qualifies as a prayer. It's a very complex bit i was on pka last night where are you i might have got too drunk and argued about ukraine oh well we're not allowed back on that show anytime soon we're i'll never have me on I don't know what I did. So, Kyle, FPS Russia, you know, on that show. He's like, right at the beginning of the show, he's like, hey, why did I see you? Like, it was like you learned about Boogie's cancer. And the clip was like two minutes long.

And you got told in the first three seconds. And then you laughed for like the entire two minutes. And there was like an Islamic prayer going on? Like, oh, yeah, because it's funny. So, yeah, it's the cancer. FPS Russia was talking to you about this? Yeah. Doesn't that guy have like 10 million followers or some shit?

Yeah, he's cool. Yeah. Did he like the bit, or was he just like- Well, he thought it was funny. That's all that matters. He's like but why do you Why were you laughing at Boogie's cancer I already told you like Boogie's like

What is this bit you guys do on the show I'm like don't Nothing Don't worry about it It's a bit where we pretend that we have blood cancer Did you see Boogie's uh Now Got a whole new lease on life

Ha He met a A psychedelic shaman Who's been feeding him acid Oh acid I think so He says he's been trying all It better not be ketamine shaman who's been feeding him acid. Oh, acid? I think so. He says he's been trying all- It better not be ketamine.

He says he's been trying- I'll fly to Arkansas and kick his ass if it's ketamine. I fucking hate- He says the guy's giving him a little of everything, and he's expanding his mind. So he's a fat drug addict now. I mean, maybe it's better. I don't know. He says he's all, you know, he's like a whole new guy.

I mean, he's not ever going to work out, so who even cares what he does? Maybe he'll work out now. He said, you know. He's like 40-something. You can work out when you're 40. It's too late. You need that momentum early. All right.

Well, I think that it's great that Boogie is dropping acid and believing in himself. Good for you, Boogie. Keep it up. Yeah, acid will do that. You'll believe a lot of stuff when you're on acid. To finish up last week's episode, Soul2x for two. It says pork ribs, anti-blue slip. No idea what that means. Verico

for $6.99. Shout out to the wig sender. Shout out Joe Dirt Vito. Yeah, I'm Vito Dirt. Vito Dirt is here. Episode 81 started off with Coup for two. Thank you all for not killing yourselves. Pete Oxenham for two. Cool hat. Vito, super cool. Nice hat

looking good. Rydog for five. Thank you for the snacks. Yeah. Britsman for two. Vito, would you get SMP easier than hair transplant? What's SMP? Small man's penis? I don't know. There's a lot of weird hair follicle treatments now.

I'll get anything. Anything that works. Jefferson for $4.99 says nothing. That's the best kind of super chat. Megatherium for $13. Big dollars. My GF is obsessed with being a colossal transphobe. Went to Chipotle, and we were ordering from a trans man named Eric.

She goes, I'll take one chicken taco and two. So stupid. Do you want to read it? It doesn't even make sense. Nice try. Sir Seat Center for $8.88. I heard Vito fart twice during today's show because of both burgers he ate. That's called.

No. Next. You have to read it for the people at home who can't see it. No. No. Fuck them. Watch the show. Something about beef air is what he was trying to do.

Righty tighty for two. The female drawing test is so epic. Life changing. We should have made Chrissy Mara do the drawing test. I forgot. I also forgot. That would have been hilarious. Righty tighty for two. Always love the show, guys.. That would have been hilarious. Righty tighty for two.

Always love the show, guys. Great chemistry. No homo. Righty tighty for one. Crammed it all in. You cheap motherfucker. You cheap bastard. Just pay the ad bucks.

Next time that happens, point it out, because I won't read it. I don't know why you try to read it. It's all smooshed together. No, I'll still read it. I love you guys. Cosmic Daggeran for five. According to Vito, making a historical fiction movie about MLK played by a white woman is okay if the actress is hot.

Yeah, that's true. That's obviously fucking true. That would be better than the normal one. You want to see a black guy or you want to see a hot woman? A hot lady. Yeah, come on. Don't be stupid. Make it a porn.

Cosmic Daggeran for five. We went from pronouns in the bile to pronouns in the chocolate. Be- being forced to watch both. These isn't fair. Interesting. Interesting. John rips for five. Jeremy, the chocolate salesman, high five that girl because he was too

scared to slap her ass. I bet that was the draft. Oh God, you're right. In the first draft. International Women's Day. He should have slapped her ass. He should have slapped her ass and they're like, oh, but then we might be objectified That won't fly Because all the men Who are on the right

Are the biggest pussies in the world And they like can't even stomach Seeing a woman being I don't know if that was okay They can't even see Not a woman being disrespected Yeah Without fucking getting triggered

Well we still have to have a beat there Which we do Let's high five Let's high five Yeah That's fun. And then we're going to go around the room and everyone say what they does after work. You have two strippers in bikinis and you slap both their asses.

Like, that's funny. I hope an asteroid hits the earth today. So we never have to see any of this shit again. I think there's one coming. Parkboy of 23 for 5, I just learned that my closest friends don't understand what is a bear. I thought even the straightest people knew. A beard? He means a gay bear. Oh, like a big guy?

Like a big guy who's... The fuck? Into fucking... No Pants Gomez for $4.99. The biggest problem in the universe is Titanfall 2 servers basically being non-existent, so I can't play a single goddamn game. You know, I have a copy of Titanfall 2, and I've still never played it. But I've heard it's great. Hate Speech Vito

for 5 says Vito's descent into Maddox is uncanny. Soon he'll talk about what soups he hates and loves. I hate flaming faux gots to be the worst thing ever. Wait, what's flaming faux? Well, he's trying to get you to say the F slur. Oh, okay. I hate flaming

faux gots to be the worst thing ever. Goats. Okay, I got there. It's not goats. It's gods. Well, I was trying to avoid pronouncing it in the way that... Well, then don't read it. I just... Anyway. David March is here. The great David March for five. Question for the panel. Would you buy a house in a

nudist colony? No, because most of the people who are nude are gross. Yeah, they're probably weirdos. I don't want to be nude in a nude area. I want to be nude where people do not want me to be nude. I don't want to be nude in public. I just don't desire that. Well, what are you going to do? Peter Hansman for five.

The big Richard Coffin bit was really funny. You guys are great together. When do we get to see the racist AI sketch? God damn it, we got to do that. I wrote the racist AI sketch and sent it to. We got to do that. I wrote. So I wrote the racist AI sketch and send it to you. And your notes were so shitty. My notes were what you were like.

We got it. Yeah. But your notes were like, I sent you the script and said, this is the first draft and your notes were like, well,

we got to make it obvious, like make it a Microsoft. So I'm like, well, what am I like your fucking employee? What do you mean? What are you giving me? I was just firing back some notes.

I wasn't like yelling at you. I know you're not yelling at me, but what do you want me to do with that? I'm just like, we're opening a dialogue. There's a dialogue. So I said, here's the script. Make the changes that you would like to see. I think we should animate it. Animate it?

Yeah. How are we going to do that? Just like cheap, like shitty, shitty like 2D Like just drawings Can we do cutouts of mouths? Yeah we could probably do the clutch cargo Hmm I'll show you a thing later There's this guy who animates like podcasts

And it's really funny And I'm like oh we could probably like make that happen Okay Maybe we could pay a guy I don't know Alright I did write it Just so everyone knows You know it wasn't that good And I gave some notes to make it better cause you seem to think

It has to go exactly like the Blade Runner Sketch which it doesn't Well I wrote a I wrote the sketch Okay that's what the sketch is You just made the Blade Runner thing again That's what parody is No but you can change things And then you said it needs to be even dumber

I'm like well that's like beat for beat It does need to be dumber. Anyway. Peter Hansman. If we don't make it, we have to post it so people can say who's right. How about you make a script, I'll make a script, and then people can argue about which one's. Okay, after Super Killer, is that when you're getting around to that one? Fuck you.

Peter Hansman for two. Best stinger yet, I agree. Fuzznut, 25 for two. What psychopathic thing did you do to your notes? I don't know. I'm an idiot. Why did you do that? Because I'm an idiot. I'm retarded. Something's wrong with my hands. I just do things with my hands.

I fidget. I need a spinner. I'm like autistic. How do you control yourself? I don't know. This is my life. NateRank for 10. Hey, Vito and Dick. Big 10 for... That's my life. We didn't get one of those from him.

Nate for 10 on the board. Hey, Vito and Dick. I'm happy every week to see how many people are tuning in to listen regularly, and I'm excited for what the future holds. Thank you for not killing yourselves. What a bizarrely earnest and positive message. Yeah, something's up with that. I was waiting for you to trick me into saying the N-word.

Riley Edwards for five. Vote up these amazing problems and vote for the black and white picture of pizza at the LA County Fair. Don't vote for that. Is that one of the things? Can you vote online? No. He's just being an idiot.

He doesn't understand how craft fairs work. I saw your mural. It sucks. I saw your mural it sucks I was like oh man Well the jerk store called Did you see my girlfriend's Pizza picture No I haven't seen that

Did she take a picture of pizza That's what's hanging up by the Is that from last year or is this for this year What do you mean She's submitting her pizza picture. Do they score them? They don't grade them. Is there a contest?

Yeah, one, two, three. That's the grades. Is that true? Yes. Blue ribbon, fucking second place ribbon. Okay, so they do the ribbon. Best in show. Yeah, we're competing.

You're getting dead last because that fucking mural is like come on it's authentico dude it's not even like you gotta like polish it are you gonna polish it what the fuck do you mean am i gonna polish it it's too dirty i'll blow it off like get some like wax or something like shine it up you gotta shine it up it's tile it's shiny dog shit ha unbelievable after i've been so positive and helpful with super killer you're coming in here that's fine i'm saying this oh you just it's got all these like like when you touch it it's like sharp you're not supposed to touch it you jackass it's art you don't go around touching everything oh jacksonock Oh it's so bumpy Just shave off the rough parts No don't touch it

You gotta clean it I'll blow it off I'll take the Fucking weed blower to it Or a leaf blower You know what I'm gonna send in a submission I'm just gonna find something Go for it I'm just gonna find something lying around my house and frame

it. Go ahead. Do it. You got 12 hours. Go for it. I'll figure it out. Riley Edwards for five. We already did that. Justin Roiland is here. The big Justin Roiland for five. Why do you keep taking problems from fans? You have to be kidding when you complain. You have to

and it's a stupid joke. Clap trap to the Shrier for $19.99. Says, I had nothing to say. I just wanted to send you guys money. Thanks. That's the best. You don't even need to explain that. Well, I'll take the explanation. David Gomez, for a big $10 on the board, I tried searching Dick's show on Rumble

and it would not come up without putting the in front of it. And I couldn't see the live show in app. Just their trash tier mobile browser website yeah hey uh here's here's rumble's tagline it doesn't work yeah it's shit rumble it doesn't work i can't name my channel because i don't think i have enough subscribers so i have no idea that's totally normal right find me on there a menu that has about 50 000 options on the right that's totally good i don't even understand the monetization options.

They're like, are you exclusive or are you double exclusive? Are you double plus exclusive? Or are you more like a YouTube exclusive? I'm like, Jesus Christ, what is this? No one answering this has any idea, you stupid motherfuckers. Yeah, it was literally written by an idiot. Guys, let's do a streaming platform. Okay, and we don't even have to get it UX designed

because my my uh what my cousins uh does designs for sites so he's just gonna throw together some let's pretend everyone uploading videos is an engineer who works for us and understands all this weird jargon that we're using wants to track their earnings put it on the menu what if somebody wants to track their channels put it on the side menu what if somebody wants to get into their account put it on the side menu oh wow it getting a little long. I mean, I love a big old menu. I always see side menus that are 10 miles long on the right side of the screen.

I see that all the time when I'm using the internet. A fucking 10-mile-long menu that's on the right side of the fucking screen, written in tiny font. I want you to just have a channel where you do UX reviews because that's actually really funny to me. Oh, good. A big old right menu where everybody wants it. Yeah, that looks like $100 million. Yeah. Oh, Jesus Christ. The amount of money they've poured into that train wreck.

Maybe Trump Jr. and Steven Crowder can have butt sex and fix their menu. R for 666 says the big blonde trans woman with the neck beard Is cute AF It slash day's laughter is very contagious Aw thank you I am beautiful Oh they're talking about you? I think they're talking about my beautiful locks SV for 5 I don't know how to just browse channels I am not subscribed to Via the rumble app

I had to specifically search for Ryan Long and about 3 other Jesus Christ what's wrong with this app? Well Long is probably Pornographically filtered out. Right, Long's another guy. They didn't give him an exclusivity contract, but they should.

Get actually funny guys to just make comedy. Stop getting these talking heads to go, wow, the thing about the groomers is... Do you even know how expensive streaming is? Oh, it's a fortune.

It is a fucking fortune what they're doing. Rockfin, too. Rockfin I was rooting for, and then they tried to get me on their platform. I had a call with them, and they're like, oh, yeah, it's this. And it's kind of confusing. Like, well, people sign up, and then they pay $8 and see everybody. And we actually see more people sign up and pay because they can see more things.

Like, well, how much money of that do I get? They're like, we have a whole algorithm, and you get paid in fucking FinCoin or something. I'm like, well, how much money of that do I get? They're like, we have a whole algorithm and you get paid in like fucking FinCoin or something. I'm like, yeah, that sounds like retarded. And then they sent me an email. I was like, oh, Patreon, you're not going to sign up. Patreon's just eating your lunch. Patreon's taking your money. I'm like, why don't you guys go just,

why don't you go fuck yourself, dude? Let me find this email. They told you Patreon's fucking you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, well, if you just want to keep, you want to keep losing money or something like let me find this Is Rockfin a patreon alternative? Kind of they're like they tried to I actually think they did it because Payment processors don't want you to have subscriptions like for individual people

But you're allowed to do like you were allowed to do Batch subscriptions? Yeah That's strange Oh no this isn't But you're allowed to do like you were allowed to do batch subscription. Yeah That's let me see if I can draw range. Oh, no, this isn't I Fucking it annoyed me so much when this fucking asshole this tone this this fucking hard sales I mean everybody's eating your lunch man. It's just part of the game at this point, fuck you Who's emailing who Go fucking eat your lunch How about that

Fuck I can't find it Oh here we go Hey dick Didn't hear from you this week Wow this guy was really trying to suck your dick Yeah Last time we talked you said you were going to research more about rock finn we could either close the file and move on

or have a short follow-up chat about financials for short terms yeah yeah wow this guy's really not uh laying on the love yeah let me find it fuck it was one line uh Fuck. It was one line. Is Rockfin still a thing? I don't know. They sent Ralph a $700 bill for... A bill? ...using it.

Yeah. For you? Wait, what the fuck? Yeah. I don't even understand how that works. Fuck. All right. It's not that guy.

I don't know. I can't find it. Anyway. Well, we'll find it some other time. Fuck Rockfin. Pigeon sub. 174 for 10. Love the show.

Can't wait for the veto betrayal arc. Dick hasn't given me a good reason to betray him yet. I never gave anyone a good reason to betray him. I think something's going to happen in Philly. Something's going to happen. Don't do it. I'll tell you the same thing I told Maddox. Don't do it.

Show's covering my flight, though, right? Yeah. Well, unless you wait until the very last minute. I'll get it. It's actually my flight though, right? Yeah. Well, unless you wait till the very last minute. I'll get it. It's actually cheap. The flights right now. Yeah. It's like a buck 50.

Yeah. How's it only a buck 50? What else do I get? Do I get a free t-shirt? Yeah. All right. Small. Free drinks.

You can exchange the small shirt for credit. Drinks covered at the show. I got to win prizes. Drinks covered at the show? I gotta win prizes. I gotta play the games. Drinks are covered if you can find me while you're buying the drink. You've gotta be able to identify me. Can I point at you and go, I'm on his tab? I would

grab me. Okay. I would physically pull me to the bar. Is there food at the show? Because that's all I care about. I don't know. I just want a free lunch. There's honestly so many people buying me free drinks. you can just have those i'll take those i can't take it i'm too old for all the shots it's gonna be uh it's gonna be interesting live.dick.show how many tickets are left do you even know like two yeah it's selling out pdocs number five you can have the same standard not shut up shut up and he's also He's doing a 2B

Fucking joke Shut up Carafro for 20 Another great stream guys Thank you for making Friday nights Fucking hilarious We love Carafro

She fucking crammed Cramped stuff in Don't talk about Cara She's a moderator We like her Cara's allowed to do Whatever she wants Oh

Cara's good stack Cool What? She's helpful She moderates my streams too She does Where does she live I don't know

Just curious We got a bunch of other super chats Coming in Thank you Kara for the 20 Summer Swan Winter Raven Dude you gotta change that name What is this? Did you make that during the LiveJournal days?

I'm Summer Swan, Winter Raven, and these are my thoughts. I'm a vampire. I'm Summer I live in the darkness. What if I was a vampire and I had this same voice? Ah, I'm a vampire. I'm running around. I can't see in mirrors.

I like to count things. I'm running around I can't see in mirrors I like to count things well I'm horny you got the basis for a movie right there summer swan winter raven for five all right dude thank you to veto for researching the demographic poll you're welcome john riffs for two it says muslims are threatening destiny do you see Destiny attacking Muslims on Twitter All like week long Yeah It's pretty funny It is funny

Yeah They're such fucking They're such fucking cry babies Well Muslims are the most Easily triggered I guess there's so many of them though Yeah

I don't know It's like 40% of the country is Muslim So Christians have Had it kind of beat out of them Yeah We just told them Guys We're gonna rip on Jesus Like you you got to deal with it. Get over it. Stop crying.

Yeah. You know, Muslims is all new to them. What was the last like big actual Christian outrage? I think after that Sinead O'Connor thing, it was like, eh, oh yeah, they were pissed about that. They were super pissed about that. And then it was kind of like, but then they raped all those kids and she was right. And it's like, oh didn't know that and now they got they don't have a leg to stand on yeah as soon as at all when all the kids to hang from came out it's like oh shit people are ripped on us now they're trying to take it back like they're trying to own it like oh yeah so you just i know what you're gonna say so we just raped a bunch of kids. Oh, we just raped a bunch of kids. Oh, that's all you want to talk about. It's like, well. Well, you're

still raping the kids. That's the problem. Yeah. Well, teachers are raping kids. Yeah, the Catholic ones. They're not doing that for God, though. Yeah, exactly. It is worse when it's for God. They're doing that for the government. It is way worse when you're, if you're a pro, whatever. It's so much to cover there. Teachers aren't like,

uh, we love you no matter what. They're like, I don't really know how to do math, but I'm going to teach it. Yeah. We know. I guess the point is we know teachers are scumbags, but like. Especially the guy teachers. Priests were supposed to be good guys. And you're like the worst guys.

Yeah. That's crazy. You guys are at least supposed to say like, that guy's raping kids. As a minimum. As a minimum of responsibility seems like a responsibility. Teachers, I don't expect that. I don't expect teachers to rat on other teachers. Because I just expect them not to be too drunk.

Right. All day. That's all that matters. Ethan Lally for 999. Clearly the biggest problem is inventing new things to be mad about. We must be doing way better as a species than we should if we have to create a new slur and marginalized group every... Every what, motherfucker?

Pay another $10 to get the whole thing out or rephrase the problem. Inventing new things to be mad about? We live in... No, we're mad about the same things. We live in horrible times. We live in horrible culture and groomers. Those are the only two issues of our day.

Yeah. My Dixie wrecked. Ooh, for two. That's pretty funny. That's pretty funny. Please buy of our day. Yeah. My Dixie wrecked. Ooh, for two. That's pretty funny. That's pretty funny. Please buy Taylor an onion. Okay. I don't know what that means.

Ethan Lally for $4.99. I forgot to say week at the end of my last chat. Here's more money. Thank you. All right. Hey, you fixed it. Wait, what are you saying? A new marginalized group every week.

DJ 367 for 10. Please get Destiny Bowl. John Zerka on the show. You're saying... He's supposed to come into my show on Sunday. He's supposed to come on the Dick Show? Yeah, but I was drunk when I was setting that up, so I don't know if... Well, if he comes in, tell him he's going to come back in and do Biggest Problem.

Okay. What's his deal? John Zerka is hot. He's just hot right now. So hot right now. He's fucking nuts. He believes in flat earth And all this fucking shit Oh

Does he believe in the Flat holocaust? You know what That's a great question That's my thing For your show That's your thing Yeah

The flat holocaust I feel like we've done that We all know about the holocaust Yeah yeah But there's actually Flat guys Alright Justin Rowland for two

Hey my Nope Not happening Fahowl Gods For seven Like the Queen of England Is a Niter He said Nite

Yeah He tried to get me To say a bad word Oh nit Stop Nit I see It's my good friend Nick

I get it Fahowl Gods for five Base Fossil Was the best Pokemon TCG format Press F For the PSA 6 Why don't you kill yourself,

for the good of the gods? Why don't you drive into a fucking... You thought you were gonna get a diner. Barrels on the fucking freeway. It was all messed up on the back, too. Was it? Yeah. Why'd you send it in?

Carafro for five. Chat recommendations for future guests. Owen Benjamin. All right. Mike Medell. What kind of bear are you? I'm a bear that likes to get fucked up the ass. I'm a bear that threw away his Hollywood career.

That's what kind of bear I am. I'm not in Hollywood, bear. We got Dr. Kevin. He can tell us all the old Benjamin stories. Who's Mike Medell? Do I know Mike Medell? I mean, you want to guess what Mike Medell's up to? I assume he's one of those guys.

And Alex Stein. I think we could get Alex Stein. The problem is, is he still in L.A. or did he move still in LA or did he move to Texas? Where do they shoot the, is he on the blaze? Yeah. I think they shoot that in Vatican city. No, they're all in Texas. Oh, Texas. I feel like I've heard. I don't know. Okay. And LP dirty. What? Something you're trying to get me to say something LP dirty tea for four 99. Dick was nice to say something lp dirty tea for 4.99 dick was nice to meet you in vegas love the show you guys are awesome thank you care for all for mike lindell mike lindell is who she meant oh he's cool the guy yeah he's a former i don't think we can get

mike lindell he's too busy fighting the conspiracies we're fighting conspiracies he's fighting the election machines. Hit refresh one more time. Oh, that was another thing I was arguing about on PKA. What, the election? Yeah, the machines. God, the fucking machines. Yeah, I know.

Everything's stolen. All right, well, you can't hire a company. Stop. You cannot hire a company and they can do the government stuff and then they can't be sued. I don't care. You are protected by the First Amendment to criticize whatever the government's doing, even if it's a fucking company doing it. Okay. So what, is Halliburton just going to execute a bunch of-

Use code Masterson to get 40% off of my pillow, you fucking psychopath. Guys, what a great show. We got a list of our top supporters, who we love. Let's put that up On the screen The election was Fair and balanced And There is no string

Of strange train derailments Or athlete heart attacks This is a show I don't think I think the train derailments Are all Bullshit Like idiocracy

I think I think it's just I think it's just been happening Because we just have shitty train like Infrastructure and only now you mean to it train engineers that don't don't Pay them enough money to care. Yeah, I actually fucked up last week and I gave you way more Supporters than you had because I was noticing I forgot to put active dickhead pluses. So it was all of them across time I forgot to put active dickhead pluses, so it was all of them across time.

Oh, what the fuck? So it's getting much closer now. Fuck this. Stop. 45 dickhead pluses. Don't subscribe to Vito. Subscribe to me. 40 Vito file pluses. And what's interesting is I have three secret Vito file pluses over on Backed.by.

Oh, you don't have to put your name in on Backed.by. No, you don't have to put your name in. So I have. So you punched in Three secret Three secret admirers For Vito Okay

I think you had Oh no you had one But he wasn't secret So No The back dot buy community Loving Vito Not a big fan of dick

Strangely Probably a mistake It's your service Anyway don't forget You can watch All the bonus episodes And support the show At patreon.com slash biggest problem

And back.by slash biggest problem Go vote on all the problems, we're gonna put them up right now At biggestproblem.show You know you've got to vote it up Alright, goodbye