The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 85

Episode Date: April 8, 2023

    The Civil Rights Act, Easy Mode in Video Games, Nazis are Too Cool, Seatbelt Laws  

Yes I'm a bit out of it I got that sick fog Yeah why do you keep getting sick? Cause I put stuff in my mouth Yeah Like if I see something I gotta put that shit in my mouth

No matter what it is Yeah If I see like a bottle cap Or something I'll go I wonder what I wonder what that would feel like In my mouth

Well no it's you know Fingernails Yeah Chew them off And then put them in my mouth Restore them like a squirrel It's funny Because I was talking to my buddy

And I realized It's one of those situations Where I was like Wicked tired yesterday So I didn't want to do the show either I wanted to do the show I didn't not want to do the show either I didn't want to do it

I hate this fucking show And the audience And all of it It's just an exhausting waste of my time Would you rather Would you rather not work on the show Or your comic I would rather be a banana

Frankly I think I'd be better at it I think it would be Top of your comedy There's a market for that Did you see So you only like Working on things

If they're not gonna be If they have no chance At succeeding Right Cause Maddox was the same way I don't know He only wanted to work On things that had

Zero chance of being Oh Riley's calling, but we're on, Riley. We're on, Riley. Is it muted? Is it muted? Someone's saying it's no sound. Ah, ha, ha! Thank you, Riley. God damn it. Thank you, Riley. Thank you, Riley.

You saved the fucking day, Riley. Riley saved the fucking day. Cast one, one, two. Yes, he one one two Yes he did Yes he did Riley is the fucking man Oh he figured it out Everyone shit on Riley

Everyone shits on Riley But he did it Hopefully Riley did it Test No audio Now there's audio now I can see it

Yeah it's gotta be gone Gonna take a second. One, one, two. Yes, he did. Save the day. Okay, you were saying you're in the, I said quite astutely that you only like working on projects that have no chance of success. And then you get burnt out or pressured into not working on things that are successful.

Like this show and your comic. I work on this show. I do. I put effort like this show and your comic on this show i do i put effort into this show i love the show sometimes i'm just i have weird i keep weird hours so sometimes you know i'm exhausted by the time the show rolls around on friday at six i woke up yeah because on on friday i woke up at like 2 a.m so i would have been awake for why'd you do that? Because something's wrong with me. Would you like people to suggest what that might be?

Is it my obesity, I assume? I don't know, man. I'm trying to get on some drugs or something that just regulates my schedule. I don't even know if I can get that. You gotta get that. I want to try and get that. So much to do do Dick. Okay. So your Kickstarter and it's supposed to be spire today for like four hours. It's like

a deck building, a computer game. It's pretty good. Okay. I put up a bunch, but now I've been doing a bunch of stuff this week. People saw. I put up the trans man music video. I saw that. Well, actually, that was it. You didn't edit it, though. But I put it up. I uploaded it. You uploaded it.

That's pretty good. I fucked around with the thumbnail. There you go. Okay. People really like. What's weird is the comments on that video. Everybody goes, wow, Vito can really sing. I'm like, I guess like doing stingers for like three months.

Didn't convince anyone Of that fact I had to do a stupid Elvis parody I don't know if That counts as really Singing though Yeah

Doing a stupid voice That's why I was confused Why everybody was so Impressed by it I'm like can't anyone Do a stupid Elvis impression No no Should we do the

Yeah let's just do the show You sick bastard The volume kind of took me out of it The whole no sound thing took me out of it Give us super chats Biggest Problem In

The Universe Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe The only show that ranks every problem in the universe Oh shit, I forgot From the lack of VR titties to the government being shitty I'm your host Dick Masterson Joining me as always is Vito Giswaldi

Thanks Dick, I'm happy to be here What's up my friend? It's a beautiful Saturday We had to not do the show yesterday because you were sick I was just going to thank you for not being a cock about it, but then you had to go and call me out like that for nothing. I wasn't being a cock. For no reason.

Absolutely no reason. The amount of work that I do for this show. You bust my balls and my chops like that. Broadcasters, how often do they get sick? Not often. I get sick all the time They take care of their bodies so that their audiences

Are always treated to what they deserve I haven't had a beer since Sunday Can you believe that? This is my first beer since Sunday Even though I know it's shredding my liver What was your symptoms? Trans

Trans Trans Trans shooter identity Ideology What was your symptoms? Trans. Trans sickness. Trans identity. Trans shooter identity. Ideology. Woke. I was sick with woke.

You got woke. I went woke and I got broke because of all the woke that I've been doing. It broke my immune system. God, the woke. The woke stuff. I got sick with the Q. The LGBT, the Q at the end. That's what I got sick with. I had, yeah, the Q at the end. That's what I got sick with.

I had, yeah, the IA+. Is this boomer tier stuff that I'm doing right now? I know, you're nailing it, buddy. Am I nailing it? My pronouns are... I'm Q+. Kiss my ass, buddy. You're right up there with the greats, Roseanne. I had to kiss my ass.

Yeah, all those... I shot too many Budwe Roseanne. I had to kiss my ass. Yeah, all those. I shot too many Budweiser's. I was out for the week. Shot all my beer. Oh, no, my beer. My gay beer. Oh, no. There's been a lot of that.

We're going to talk a little bit about that at some point. What was I going to say? I can't wait. I'm glad you're feeling better. So it's 4-8. Wow. Congratulations on launching the super killer Kickstarter that was out on the first of... Shut up.

I'm working on it. It's almost ready to go. Okay. Like next week, I think it's going to be ready to go. Next week? I'm doing... I'm editing the... Yeah, next week.

Okay, 4-15? 4-15. Drop dead. 4-15 or it's never coming out, right? Yeah. Okay. I would have gotten it out earlier, but the Mario movie came out, and I was like, I guess I'm supposed to review the Mario movie.

So then I lost a couple days. I made a bunch of videos and stuff. Let me say that I commend you on your ability to twist a good review into still being a negative review. My review was negative? No, no, no, because you said, why the critics are wrong. I was like, oh, that's an interesting way to say, I like the Mario movie, but still make the title negative. Yeah, get people emotionally involved. Yeah, because negativity brings the clicks, right?

I thought it was a great idea. I'm being serious It doesn't sound like it, but I am I mean, it was I don't like just putting up a video A lot of people just go My Mario review And I go

Who the fuck's gonna click on that? There's gotta be a million of those Yeah Yeah, you gotta have like a twist And mine is The critics got it wrong Did you like it? I liked it

It's not like, you know God's gift to creation But it is what it says on the tin, man It's a Mario movie I missed it. It's not like, you know, God's gift to creation, but it is what it says on the tin, man. It's a Mario movie. I missed it because I was sick. Well, you'll see it, I'm sure. Nah, it's past. The time has passed.

Bro, it's going to be in the theaters for like the next two months. That movie's going to clear up buildings. Yeah, but everyone already did their reviews and stuff, and I feel like I've seen it already. It's true. Me and you, we could have done a dual review. I could have been Mario. You could have been Luigi. We could have Talked about

Our thoughts And our feelings Oh wow Maybe next time I enjoyed it Maybe for the Contra movie We'll do that They're not gonna make

A Contra movie Okay you ready Yes Last week Winner is Great Government Firewalls Boring Great Government Firewalls

Big problem Government restricting what you say Lack of good VR porn Number two People don't recognize how much that's affecting society Yeah We'll get into that A negative where mass shooter lottery

It's a great problem But it's fun People like doing it. I guess I can't argue with the fun of it. Yeah, you do it. Don't pretend like you don't do it. At the beach? You see the beach shooter?

Oh, there was a beach shooter? Who was the shooter? At the beach, can you guess? Who was it, Dick? We need a drum roll with gunshots. That would be good Was it a trans lady? Bah, bah, bah, bah

Hold on What was it? Should have actually took the outside line It was a black man A black man went to the beach? A black man Wow Went to the beach

Maybe he was in a self-defense situation He thought he was going to drown in the parking lot He started blasting at the water Is that what happened? I don't know exactly what happened. It's actually a little convoluted. What beach was a black guy at? Myrtle Beach or something? What was it? Palm? Dockweiler?

Something Palms? Isle of Palms? I don't fucking know. What coast was it on? Dude, I don't know. You don't know anything other than his race. I see a black guy shot a bunch of people. That's another boring one. Wake me up when it's a his race. I see a black guy shot a bunch of people. That's another boring one. How many people did he shoot? Wake me up when it's a trans lady.

I think he shot four. I don't know if he killed four people or shot four people. It doesn't really matter. Yeah. I love these shootings. I got to say. Me too, man. I've officially reached the point of being like, I want one at least every day.

Well, there's more than one every day. I want to hear about the black ones too. I want an all 24 hour shooting channel. Give me the cool ones, the ones for white people. Give me the fucking ones for black people too. BET, run a 24 hour shooting network, right? And then I get mad when I see on the news when they're like, the body cam footage we paid for.

Yeah. Let's get it on TV. Now I'm like upset when they're like, we actually caught this transgender girl before she did a shooting. I'm like, oh, that would have been a good one. I don't think that's legal. To catch them before they shoot people? Yeah. That's pre-crime.

That's pre-crime, man. Like I'm planning that in my head all the time. Every day I'm thinking about it. What's the difference between me and that person other than they cut their dick off? I'm pretty sure my plan's better and more elaborate, so do I need to go to prison too? You can't say that. I think if your plan is good enough...

But I'm joking. You go to jail. Remember? I'm planning it out in my Minecraft simulation. It's not legal, right? I don't know. This person was planning to shoot up a school. That's not legal, right? I don't know. This person was planning to shoot up a school. That's not legal. I'm planning to do lots of illegal things.

What are you talking about? Arrested. We're going to get in trouble. It is true, though. We're going to jail. Yeah. You think about your ideal shooting situations. There's a lot of quiet on the table now after this.

Do you think the Daily Wire will come out with like a cooler that has like a concealed carry thing? Give me a cold one and they like bust out a fucking gun in the cooler. I'll say this about Daily Collar or Daily Wire.

Daily Wire is the one. Those Daily Wire guys, It is a real one. They're very good at marketing. I wish I had an audience of idiots to just sell stupid shit to. Go to superkiller.org and sign up for the mailing list. It's going to be great. Okay, CG says, Vito not knowing what free speech or absolutism means

is a pretty compelling argument for Dick's point that Vito should never, ever step foot in a voting booth. I looked it up. I'm still right. Aesop says. You know what I was going to say? I was supposed to bring in the definition of free speech absolutism because I saw all these comments going. That's not free speech. going, that's not free speech.

My head almost exploded when Vito said he is a free speech absolutist and that there are limits to free speech in the same breath. Yes. Vito's understanding of the word absolutism is astonishing. Keep going. Sorry, I interrupted you. Sometimes concepts are defined in ways,

okay? Yeah. Like what the definition of is is, right? Is that what you're saying? Sure, whatever. There was a group of guys who called themselves essentially define themselves as free speech absolutists. Oh, you're one of those guys. I, I'm,

I, yeah, I agree with their tenants. Okay. Okay. Okay. Tenants are not complete absolutism. It's like to the logical degree.

Stop it. You know what? Why do I even fucking bring this up? Forget it. Go look it up. It's on the fucking internet. You can Google it. Okay? This always happens. That I use a term correctly and then people go,

um, well, I think uh, blah. Shut up. Okay? So when you say you're a free speech absolutist, is there like a trademark symbol on that? Because it doesn't, it means like a brand you're identifying with, not the literal terms. Sure, when I say I'm a Cleveland Indian, that means I'm a member of the baseball team. It doesn't mean I'm a Native American.

Like the Democratic People's Liberation Army of the Congo? Is like, that's what you're like? Where they have child soldiers raping people? What were the Hitler, the Democratic Socialists? National Socialists. National Socialists. They weren't really socialists. Well, they were socialists.

Not really. Well, not to the Jews, but to Germans. Yeah. I can't believe you have a reason for your absolutism take. Because it's correct. Because I'm using the word as it is defined among people who discuss these ideas. But they called themselves that. Yes.

So then what relevance does it have to anyone else? It has relevance to those who are willing to look up what the term means. Well, what is it then? Free speech with limits? I didn't bring it in. Yeah, it's free. It's, it's. Shut up.

I'm so done with you fucking people. Don't you think it's a little peculiar? What you're talking about is like free speech anarchist. That's what you're saying. Nah, just free speech. Not anarchist or any, no like group or anything like that. I know you're not a free speech absolutist. I know that.

No, you aren't. Sure I am. Name me one speech that I don't want. Defamation. I don't think that. No, I think that should be legal. You think it should be legal to defame people? Yeah.

I think you should be able to sue people for it, but I think it should be legal. Then it's illegal. What are you talking about? I mean, it's not punishable by jail time. It's illegal. It's illegal to break a contract, but you get sued for it. It's a tort. Yeah, but there's no. N-word. There's no. It's not punishable by jail time. It's illegal to break a contract, but you get sued for it. It's a tort. Yeah, but there's no...

N-word. There's no... All right. I think the mere fact that you would say that defamation is something people should be able to be sued for... Yeah. ...means that you are not a free speech absolutist by the way you would define it. Well, I mean, I don't think you're going to win money for it, but...

This isn't about winning money. You could be sued for anything. Okay, I mean, I don't think you're going to win money for it, but you could be sued for anything. Okay, anyway. Brit's man, that Trans Elvis song had me farting with laughter. That's wonderful. Galorm the storm, the power of one dedicated man to do the job of entire corporations. It really is beautiful. I don't know what that was about.

A bunch of Nordic letters says, Vito asking if there's an Islamic call to prayer With music in it Is funny on another level I think what you said is Culturally insensitive When you asked for an Islamic prayer With music

I asked for one with like a beat And like a melody Yeah Not just Yeah it sounds fucking terrible Avarice says Vito is a natural vocalist Amazing

Thank you That's the end of my comments. Well, that's fantastic because that brings me to my favorite segment. Something I like to call Vote It Up. Hold on. I forgot about this. Of course. Which ones have we not played?

No, I have them. See how I had the done folder? Yeah. This one's called. Oh, I'll just play it first. Vote it up. Vote it up. Vote it up. Don't you know

you got to vote it up. Just go to biggestproblem.show Go ahead and give it a go. Vote it up. Vote it up. Vote it up. Vote and don't be a chump.

Please go and vote a problem up before the song ends. I really want for Vito to stay one of my friends. I messed up on an edit and I'm making amends. Vote it up. Vote it up. Vote it up. Way to go. That was Bobster, one of my editor guys.

He didn't have anything about killing your family in there. Yeah, he kept it very clean. He's a good boy. Doesn't cause no trouble for anyone. We'll give you an I for incomplete. That's what I grade that. Needs to be a checkbox. People can have their own twists on it.

They don't all have to say kill your family. They all have to allude to it. Yeah, something like that. Well, guys, here on Voted Up, we like to revisit past problems. One of those problems is called fat brain. From all the way back in episode number two, Dick. Can you believe it? It's been that long. Well, an analysis of neuroimaging studies has found that obese individuals have reduced gray matter density and functional activations in the midbrain and thalamus regions

of the brain reduced gray matter for fatties these findings could support the reward deficit and inhibitory control deficit theories of obesity wow believe it or not there is reward deficit theory postulates that obese individuals overeat to compensate for a lowered responsivity of reward brain regions in response to food consumption so fat people eating they don't get as much dopamine as right you know regular people so they eat more yeah extra dopamine but there's also the inhibitory control deficit theory which proposes that frontal brain regions responsible for higher level cognitive control are less effective at inhibiting behaviors. That makes fat people more sensitive

to the temptation of appetizing foods leading to overeating. Wow. You're a good reader. Sometimes. You just read all that. Big words. Didn't even stumble on one. That's a lot of words there. Is it a mental disability yet? Well, these are all all theories but they have looked

I guess you know at scans of the brain And said that fat people Certain areas are lacking in gray matter They can't exactly know what's going on They put two pieces of bread On either side of a microscope And got a fat person to eat it So they could look in their brain

That's how you get us Put bread somewhere And we'll be there. Yeah. Well, Dick, that brings me to my favorite problem. It just keeps coming back. Boycott of the week. We should have a actually we should have a stinger for that. We should.

Boycott conservative boycott of the week. It won't stop. Every week there's a new one from episode 35. We talked about boycott of the week. It won't stop. Every week there's a new one. From episode 35 we talked about boycott of the week. Well, last week, transgender social media influencer Dylan Mulvaney D-Man! Yeah! Shared a sponsored post on Instagram

promoting Bud Light's March Madness. J-Beer! In response, right-wing figures have proposed a mass boycott of the Budweiser line with singer-songwriter Kid Rock posting this video Let's take a look three minute video. No, it's just Frisky today, okay Let me say something to all you and does that mean gay as clear and concise as possible

He's got his MAGA hat on no one no one has ever said your lyrics were confusing or esoteric Wow! Oh man! Take that my own beer. Look at that! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha D-Girl, yeah I'm a D-Girl Showing off her Bud Light there Oh, no woman would open a beer with the tip of her nails What the fuck, this guy? I'm worried about getting soap in that beer But it would probably taste the same Knowing what I know of Bud Light

Point is, the right wing is currently trying desperately To organize a mass boycott of Budweiser Which will fail like every right wing boycott That has ever been attempted What about InBev? Fuck them too? The company that owns Anheuser-Busch or AB owns InBev, I think? Well, that's the thing.

How much boycotting do we have to do? Oh, yeah, you can't just boycott. I mean, you will hurt their bottom line if you just. But the thing is, like, if you go, I'm going to drink Red Rock instead, it's like, well, then you're still giving them money. Yeah, they own, like, literally six different beer lines. What does more harm to children? Dylan Mulvaney or alcohol?

Probably not. Are there any kids in their bedrooms going, oh God, I hope dad didn't look at Dylan Mulvaney's Instagram before he gets home so he doesn't kick the shit out of me. You end up a trans influencer, I swear to God. No, dad, I promise. I'll never be a trans influencer. Does alcohol counteract the gayness in kids? Like dads, they're drinking and then beating the gayness out of the kids?

Or are they beating the gayness into them? It's like Ghostbusters. Don't most gay kids have a past history of childhood trauma of some sort? Yeah, but I think that's just because They're so goddamn sexy It doesn't make them gay Predators just see them and they're like damn that's a sexy ass Actually they're probably making the predators into predators Yeah well

I don't know what you're going to do about that But what you can do is go to biggestproblem.show And vote it up Oh yeah okay sorry Here we go Vote it up What's going to be the next boycott Oh yeah, okay, sorry. Here we go. Vote it up, vote it up. What's going to be the next boycott?

Well, Jordan Peterson is already boycotting Nike now. I already boycotted Nike with Colin Kaepernick. Yeah, well, they're boycotting Pizza Hut. Pizza Hut. That's a big one. M&M's. Yeah, remember one of the M&M's? Trampos Now or something.

I saw you supposed to boycott Jack Daniels. Yes, yes. I don't think that's it. What's the left-wing boycotts, though? What's a left-wing boycott? They want to boycott everybody in Tennessee, or at least this one lady, because Tennessee has the trans bills going around. Oh, man, you know what the biggest problem in the universe is

Not enough people making jokes about Budweiser Identifying as beer Yeah that's a good point That's a good joke Man Give me one more Come on put it right into my veins Why would you admit that you're a Bud Light drinker to begin with

I've drank Bud Light I've drank tons of Bud Light Do you have Bud Light in your house normally? I have Tecate. There's guys going like, yeah, but Tecate is at least like- It's the same. All that light beer is the same. I don't know.

Just seeing a guy going, I'm going to empty out my garage fridge, and then I'm going to empty out my boathouse fridge, and I'm like, you just have only Bud Light in your fucking fridges, man? You don't drink anything else? Yeah, that is odd. Other than that fucking trash? Yeah! It's okay to have some Bud Light. You have nothing else? But you can have like other beverages. It's because in LA we're sophisticated and everywhere

else in the country, there are a bunch of inbred hillbillies that just drink swill and piss. And throw fits When rainbows And gay shit Is on the can They didn't even release

Like her cans They just sent it to her They're like Here Dylon Like put on Why do you say Dylon She's white Dylon

I don't know Cause it's more fun To say it that way Yo Yo Dylon Can you uh Advertise our Bud Light? Alright. Good boycott,

everybody. Well, you're the winner, Dick. It's so small, Dick Energy. We're boycotting this. Actually, we're boycotting that. No, we're boycotting that. Like, you guys, at some point, you have to admit that you guys aren't like this big force. You're just like a bunch of fucking losers online. Like, you're just like 10,000 guys online.

Also, if you want to i mean i keep seeing right-wing people being like i don't know why we can't connect with the younger generation i'm like because like even though they love gay people they think this is gay yeah what you're doing is gay they got guys the other guys the other side has guys going to schools and beaches and shooting them and you guys are like crying over your beer cans that's why the first one is awesome. It's powerful. It's powerful. Not saying I support it, but somebody's winning in that.

Somebody's winning there. I know how to keep score. The kids think Instagram is cool. They don't think freaking out about some dumb Instagram post and shooting your beer with a gun is cool. Okay. All right, winner. Here's my problem. It's called easy mode in video games.

Oh, my. You ever heard of this? Are you an easy mode activist, Dick? I despise easy mode. I've been playing video games. I have this kind of sickness where you could only play video games. Yeah. You can't even answer emails.

Sure. So I've been playing Super Mario 3D World That I had on my system But I never played On your what? On your Switch? Not on your Wii U? No I don't have that I have a Wii U but I didn't buy any games for it

You have a Wii U? Yeah Anyway I've been playing it and my nephew's been busting my chops for it Cause he's like yeah I already beat it the whole thing Uh I got I'm only Missing one coin in the whole game I'm like fuck and I'm getting my

I'm going through this game and I'm struggling And I noticed that If you die like two or three times Yeah on a level They give you this box at the beginning Of the level where you can hit it and get like An invincible raccoon suit. Yes And so I said hey, uh, I just called and I don't get that because that's cheating. Right? It's easy mode

Easy, I don't take the raccoon suit. You can't get hurt. There's no point to the fucking game So I text him back and I said hey, by the way, uh, i'm on world i'm on the the uh, Flower rosalina world and I haven't used, by the way, he goes, oh, that's no big deal, uncle. I beat all those. Well, by the way, I haven't used that invincible raccoon suit even one time. Silence. Is he using the raccoon suit?

All the kids are. No. Vito. All these kids. Imagine me with my almost infinite willpower of restraint. I'm barely able to not use the free raccoon suit when I'm getting my ass busted in 3D Mario. These kids have no chance in hell of resisting it. No, it's so shiny and exciting.

Yes, and easy. And you get that little win of beating the level, but you miss out on a lifetime of overcoming adversity to beat that level, or even better yet, failing completely and never beating the level and having that fire in you for the rest of your life that you never beat Marioio 3 and you have to fake it and you have to always lie about it they're taking that away from kids for people that aren't real that don't even understand video games yeah what do you think of easy mode on video games i mean i'm i'm opposed to it uh now some people would argue you know, disability advocates

say, do video games need to be so hard? That's the first thing I have on my list is wheelchair people. The disabled. Not wheelchair people. What would you rather be? A wheelchair person or a disabled person? I would rather be a wheelchair person.

So these fucking nerds, these post-modernist, Marxist, journalist losers that are trying to indoctrinate little boys with the inability to face adversity, a.k.a. easy mode, the first thing they do when they suck at video games is throw disabled people under the bus. Saying, well, I suck at video games. And everyone goes, yeah, fuck you, you suck at video games and never goes yeah, fuck you you suck at video games

Actually, no, it's fucking disabled people That we need to make video games easy for their hands are all curled up little lobster claws How are they gonna make it to the end of the Mario fucking level? They could play feet video games They could be a drummer on Rock Band Yeah, isn't there some sort of feat thing? Rob the Robot with his gyroscopes? They could get one of those things out

They could put an adaptive controller and feat their way through it They could stick like a Wii bowling thing up their ass Yeah And do it like that Or their mouth Either one Well, it comes down to I don't know, there's this weird argument where people go,

well, shouldn't they be allowed to experience the story? I'm like, no. How are you? You should have just fucking done. I did all this research to find these points. The second point, narrative over combat. Easy mode also allows players to experience the game with a different focus. Instead of having to construct the perfect build or hunt for required extras,

players can instead focus on the narrative experience. with a different focus. Instead of having to construct the perfect build or hunt for required extras, players can instead focus on the narrative experience. The stories on video games are the worst stories ever told. The writers on video games are horrible and terrible. Last of Us sucked. As a show, it was retarded, and the story in the game is also retarded. Kind of, yeah.

It's just like all this excitement of the game, and then they cram this dumb story written by someone who's not good enough to write for television, which is trash. Right? No, I agree. Most video game stories are not very good, but also the stories that are good,

the whole point is that you're experiencing it through the gameplay and the challenge and the excitement. With terror. Yeah, yeah. Oh, God! And God, I got through that! Your emotions are wrapped up in it.

It's not you just breezing through it. It's like, what's the point? It's like they turn easy mode turns video games into like deleting spam emails. Yeah. Where you're just going like click, click, click, click. You don't have to pay attention. Totally mindless. Yeah.

It's lobotomizing. I've had a lot of arguments about this topic. It's a topic that's dear to my heart. I made a whole video about that Jim Sterling individual. Who's that? Big fat loser who says that games should be easier

for the disabled and whatever. Wheelchair people? The wheelchair people, yeah. See how they're lying because they don't really care about wheelchair people. I did once accidentally Activate easy mode oh yeah Final Fantasy 15 they just Give you this set Of armor that you can't take damage

And I didn't realize that and I just put it on I'm like man I'm really fucking good at this Game and then I beat a bunch of bosses And they're like did you not notice that you weren't taking damage I'm like no because this game sucks So see Yeah see what they've done to us They're like, did you not notice that you weren't taking damage? I'm like, no, because this game sucks. See? See what they've done to us?

Right. Just by making everything easy? It felt pointless that I'm not even playing the game. I was just pressing buttons for the sake of it. I feel like easy mode even ruined Doom and Wolfenstein, the original ones for me. Because I knew the codes when I got the game. IDKFA. And I was a because I learned I knew the codes when I got the game IDK and I was a kid So I put the I put the codes in and my only experience playing those games is with the code sheet codes

Well, what would you say? I played it again I played it again as an adult when it came out on some system like an emulator or something and it was way way better Yeah, it's more fun and actually play the game and like worry it. Instead of walking through walls and doing a dumb tech demo. Yeah. They're ruining video games. Well, what would you say? I mean, but we've always had the warp whistle.

Skip ahead a couple levels. That ruined it too. You think? Was that the start? Yeah, that was the start. The Mario 3 warp whistle? That was the start of it. Skipping around.

Well, at least it was really hard to get the warp whistle unless you knew exactly what you were doing. Saying no to the grind. I love gaming, but the grind isn't part of the appeal to me like it is for others. If I die at the same point over and over again, I don't feel fulfilled when I finally pass it. I feel mentally exhausted. What the fuck, man? You know what? The real problem here is this guy just wants parents $50 to last them for about three hours of silence.

Yeah. That $50 for you buying your son a video to last them for about three hours of silence. Yeah. That $50 for you buying your son a video game should last you about three months. I'll say this, though, and this is controversial. I don't know if this is controversial. I'm okay with the save states. Yeah. New games now, especially if they'll bring out a compilation of old games, they'll let you save wherever you want.

Yeah. Because those games are save wherever you want. Yeah. Because those games are like ball-bustingly hard because back in the day you only had one game and it's like you had to make it last. And now I'm like, okay, I kind of do just want to beat this Contra boss instead of playing the whole level over again. Contra ruined also by codes.

Up, up, down, down. Turtles game ruined by codes. Exactly. Unlimited lives, 30 lives. Imagine how much better we would be. Like, we can't compete with China now because of our skills and our homosexuality. We can still compete with China.

Because of codes. If we didn't have cheat codes and easy mode. And we had to find our easy mode. Kids now, no chance. Yeah, they just hand it to them. I guess the difference with codes is that, yeah, you had to seek it out. It was like a secret. It wasn't built into the game, holding your hand, sucking your dick for you.

In the end, gaming is a very personal experience, and it's a huge part of what attracts me to so many people in the medium. The difficulty setting is just one of many ways to personalize a game, the same as mods or achievement hunting, to name just a few things. Choosing to play on easy mode is part of their gaming experience. This is in no way a reflection of the character of the player yes it is now you're a bad person ban it make it illegal i'll say this on the uh wanting to experience the story thing yeah the whole reason we have streaming and like youtube now yeah if you want to experience the

story of a game and you don't want to play it just go watch a guy play it i'll speed run the whole thing it'll probably be way more interesting than if you would even play it just go watch a guy play it i'll speed run the whole thing it'll probably be way more interesting than if you would even played yourself no it's the stories these things well you don't play the dark souls games there's stories to those yeah what is it like kill a demon yeah yeah okay great they're interesting those Those games are interesting though Because the story is like Kind of like esoteric Like you gotta

Piece it together And read lore But that you can all get online And it's part of the community It's fun Vito imagine if Everything had had easy mode When we were kids

If you never needed to ask Your older brother or sister To beat a game for you Yeah If you never needed to Wait for the bus The next day to school To get through some,

to look for some tips. Get some hot tips. On what beats Lead Aquaman or Metal Man. It's a lead bubble. Okay. Mega Man.

Talking about the water boss from Mega Man? It's robbing us of our culture, Vito. Okay. Okay? That's easy mode on video games.

Okay. Damn it. Go ahead. Fucking culture. So this fucker thinks he's better at Super Mario than me Because he's beat the whole thing with an invincible raccoon suit Right? Do you see my problem here?

Well I do think that is the other part of the problem Is that you go oh my god I just beat Dark Souls I can't believe it And if there was an easy mode someone else goes Oh yeah I beat that game Not the same, man. Don't take my achievement away. Yeah.

Dick, I drove over here in my car. You know what I wasn't wearing? Seatbelt? My seatbelt. Because seatbelt laws are the biggest problem in the universe.

Dick, why would I wear a seatbelt? What am I, an idiot? I want to be trapped. Who am I, gay? What am I, gay? I want to feel like a guy is, gay? What am I, gay? I want to feel like a guy's grabbing me from behind Or around my waist

Do I need a hug for driving? I'm driving, alright? I don't need a little Talk about the participation trophy generation And worst of all I mean, is this in every car? I guess, is this a law? I guess it was on my job to look it up

But this fucking beeping from my car That's like Hey wear that seatbelt Beep beep beep Beep beep beep And I'm like no I'm not wearing it motherfucker And I

It's great that I've tuned it out But then other people get in my car And they go hey what's that alarm Put the fucking seatbelt on You are the worst kind of person No I don't want to Beep beep

Bro That's your car's fault It's got nothing to do with me It, I don't want to. Beep, beep. Bro. That's your car's fault. It's got nothing to do with me. I don't want to wear the seatbelt. Put it on. Dick, the seatbelt is the ultimate form of, what's that word? Fascism, of course. This is the state dictating and taking away our personal freedoms, all because of their

weird backdoor handjob deals. Now, in 1968, that's not important. Who cares about that? In 1966, Congress passed the National Traffic and Motor Vehicle Safety Act that issued issue standard 208 requiring all automobiles have seat belts. standard 208 requiring all automobiles have seat belts in 1975 about 10 years later the standard was required to require passive restraints such as airbags which would automatically protect the driver whether or not they chose to use them but here's where things get complicated dick yeah in 1976 secretary of transportation william William Coleman suspended the requirement for

passive restraints. Oh, he said, you know what? We're Americans. What do we need these fucking this? However we want belts for, we don't need that. That's stupid. But that requirement was then reinstated by the next secretary of transportation, Brock Adams, then rescinded again under secretary of transportation, Andrew Lewis. We had this constant governmental put on the seatbelt, take it off, put it back on. It is constant rigmarole what was happening. And then finally, as all things do the money on the equation, Finally, as all things do, the money under the equation, Dick. Insurance companies would lose money without seatbelt laws because more people go flying through the fucking windshield.

Is that true? That is true. It's an insurance company thing? It's an insurance company thing. The insurance companies sued. And they didn't lower the rates, did they? No, not at all. No, okay. So they were spending money because people were dying. Because people were dying. Because they didn't have the rates, did they? No, not at all. No, okay. So they were spending money because people were dying.

Because people were dying. Because they didn't have a seatbelt. So they said, make a law. So they sued the federal government and said, you can't keep changing seatbelt laws. You need, you can't have a law and then take it away. You need to make this mandatory. This was State Farm in 1983. Took the government to court.

And in a unanimous opinion, the Supreme Court agreed that they cannot keep changing the rules, that the government needed a reason if they were going to change the rules. They can't just do it arbitrarily. What sense does that make? I don't know. You can't change the law too much? Basically, every time a new Secretary of Transportation showed up, it was just like their call

whether or not there was a seatbelt law. And they said that it needed to stop being arbitrary and capricious. Yeah. This is interesting. This left the current secretary of transportation, Elizabeth Dole, with a problem. She had no interest in becoming the face of an unpopular regulation. Again, bringing back seatbelts.

She didn't want to bring back seatbelts because everyone would go, oh, we hate Elizabeth Dole. Get rid of that, Elizabeth Dole. Get rid of that Elizabeth Dole. Yeah. So she came up with a compromise, Dick. She said all automobile manufacturers will have to install driver's side airbags unless two-thirds of states pass laws requiring seatbelts. The auto industry. Find democracy in action. The auto industry not wanting to put in airbags because that costs money said, my God, we got to get these seatbelt laws passed and undertook massive payola bullshit, went around

the country convincing lawmakers, you have to mandate these seatbelts. Not telling them because we don't want to pay to put airbags in our fucking cars. I understand what you're saying. And I hate seatbelt laws too, but you don't wear a seatbelt? No. That's retarded. I don't care. I don't want to wear it. It's my right.

It's my right as an American. Dick. Yeah, but you're going to die. I don't want- Like you're going to break your back in a fender bender. Cool. Well, you're going to break your back with a fender bender. Cool. Well, you're going to survive as just like in a hospital bed. I don't want to be alive, and I'm too much of a pussy to kill myself.

You will live through it. Yeah, but maybe it'll put me in enough pain that it'll push me over the edge and I can finally pull the trigger. Then I go, oh, well, now that I have a broken back. You are just the quintessential man waiting for an excuse. Yeah. To be like, somebody give me a reason to kill myself. How about over here?

Look, I have my head in this guillotine. How about that? Is that going to make you pull the... I'll do it, man. I'll do it. If I go flying through the windshield, maybe it'll give me the courage to finally jump off this coil. Regardless, I'm all about... You should wear a seatbelt.

I'm too free. I believe in too much freedom, Dick. Yeah. I mean, let's not even talk about these fucking motorcycle helmet laws. What's that about? I agree, but you should wear a helmet. No, no, no, no, no. I think I've already mentioned my problem with helmet laws for motorcyclists is that we used to get all our organs from dead motorcycle drivers.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I have heard that. It was like a perfect little organ bank because they land on the road, they split their head open, but the rest of the organs were like pretty good to go. And then we instituted helmet laws and now it's like, oh, sorry, little Timmy is going to die without a kidney because Michael the biker now has to wear his helmet to be safe. Like Piker the biker.

Piker the biker. Yeah. Yeah. Mike the bike. That's close. Er. Mike the biker. Whatever.

Stop trying to come up with puns on my thing. Point is, Dick, I think in America. You should wear a seatbelt. I don't want to. How often do you not wear a seatbelt? Every time I drive. America You should wear a seatbelt I don't want to How often do you wear Do you not wear a seatbelt? Every time I drive You don't wear a seatbelt ever? No

That's very dangerous Yes You don't get pulled over? If I see a cop I'll put it on Like really quickly? No just like Do you wear like a

A shirt that has a seatbelt on it? You know what, Dick? I would have been considered normal back in the day, okay? Okay. In 1980, hold on. I had the fucking stats. Nobody used to wear these things, and it used to be beautiful. In the 1980s, what percentage of Americans used their seatbelts, Dick?

60. 60%? Yeah Wrong! What was it? 14% of Americans When in the 80s? In the 1980s Like 80 on the dot?

It says in the 1980s, only 14% of Americans used seatbelts Alright By 2019, the era of the pussy liberal woke agenda Yeah, okay. Usage has increased to 91% because you guys are all queer and I'm still living in the rocking 80s, having a good time, living my life and not letting the fucking government tell me what to do. All right.

This is the dumbest thing for freedom I've ever heard. Next time you put on your seatbelt Think about a big burly guy jacking you up Because that's basically what's happening Every time you acquiesce To the federal government's Insane meddling In our ability to ride free

God bless No seatbelts God bless the United States of America That's only 91%? 91% as of 2019 There's like 9% of retards like you Who just don't want to do it Who know how to party

Who know how to have a little bit of fun Who know how to let our hair down Has it stopped any injuries? All the seatbelt laws? You know what? I didn't look that up Because that's unimportant Oh, okay

I hope I don't care Okay, wait. Hold on. What if they put Dylan Mulvaney in a seatbelt? Motorcycle helmet use has saved the lives of 1,800 motorcyclists in 2017 alone. Think of all the organs we could have got. It's not very many. That's 1,800 kids dying because you wanted to protect motorcycle drivers.

And 1,800 idiots living. Yes, exactly. Guys with motorcycles You want to keep those guys alive Yeah They're annoying too Way better if they take a spill Traffic

Traffic safety in general Seatbelt laws It's all garbage Get rid of it They just want to pull you over For any reason Yes They just want

They just want to be able to find you You're not wearing a seatbelt They know And also they know You know that every year Millions of Americans Get trapped inside Flaming cars

The seatbelt melts Fusing you into the car So you cannot escape It does? Oh yeah Thousands a year Really? Yeah you crash your car

Your car sits on fire You go oh I gotta get out But your seatbelt's on And you go to unclick it But the fire has already Melted the plastic thing But your seatbelt's on. And you go to unclick it, but the fire has already melted the plastic thing. So your seatbelt is just trapped in your flaming car, screaming as you

turn into a skeleton. Maybe I shouldn't be wearing a seatbelt. A guy like me, I crash into a wall, I step out, I go... But wouldn't you want to just stay in the car and die because you have a weird death wish? I don't want to die in fire. Jesus Christ. I'm not a psychopath. I don't want to die in fire. Jesus Christ. I'm not a

psychopath. I don't want to burn alive. You're really not. Must be so complicated. Seatbelt laws, Dick. Yeah. Vote it up. I agree. I don't think it's a big problem. I think it's the biggest problem. You know what annoys me about the seatbelt laws the most? It's not even the cops pulling you over. I've been pulled

over by a cop for not wearing my seatbelt. Yeah. Because I had just got a nipple ring, and it was like rubbing right there. Chafing, yeah. I was like, ah, fuck this. And the cop pulled me over. He's like, you're not wearing your seatbelt. Why?

And I was like, well, I just got my nipple pierced. And it's like, dude, he's like, well, even then, you got to wear a seatbelt. You got to be like, my doctor told me if I wear a seatbelt, my nipple will come off. Yeah. That's how you get them. All right, man. Fuck you. You know what I need to do? I've always said. You gotta be like My doctor told me If I wear a seatbelt My nipple will come off Yeah That's how you get them Alright man Fuck you You know what I need to do

I've always said I always wanted to get On the dash of my car Just like a picture of a cop In like one of those Little frames You know With like Jesus around it

And like rosary beads And shit This is my This is my T.O. This is my T.O. Officer Ramirez He died in the line of fire. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

So a cop pulls you over. You're reaching in your center console for your shrine, pretend shrine, and you get shot. I thought he was reaching for a gun. He was reaching for his cop shrine. Here's his cop shrine, Officer T.O. Ramirez. The whole time you go, oh, that was my brother. He died in 9-11, actually.

If you believe it. that was my brother. He died in 9-11, actually, if you believe it. He was a pilot. He was a pilot. Who happened to be at the World Trade Center planning on how to bomb it. Yeah. For the CIA to justify a war in Afghanistan. I should sell that. But only to profit from it.

See how it goes back and forth? Like good guy, bad guy. I get the bit. You got it? I'm just thinking? Like good guy, bad guy. I get the bit. You got it. I'm just thinking about, I should really sell the cop shrine for your car. Like people would buy that. Better than the, like the fireman donator thing. A whole shrine for a debt, like a road sign shrine.

Yeah. In your car. So you go, oh, you know, that's my, he died two years ago in a black lives matter killed him actually in the riots yeah and he's black too though so it's both ways it cuts it goes both ways big blue lives guy if you know what i'm saying you know unless you're not unless you're not i shouldn't i should put that into practice i should market that do it as an upsell for your kickstarter yeah like what are your kickstarter levels gonna be there's a lot of them like Put that into practice. I should market that. Do it as an upsell for your Kickstarter. Look, I'm trying. Yeah. What are your Kickstarter levels going to be?

There's a lot of them. Like, what's the lowest one? Lowest one, I think the basic comic is like $25. $25? Yeah. What's that get you? The comic. Paperback?

Hardback? What? It's going to be, you know, like a graphic novel. So, like, Square Spine. It's not like Cheap's comic book. It's like a... Square Spine? What? It's going to be, you know, like a graphic novel. So like Square Spine. It's not like Cheap's comic book. It's like a... Square Spine? What's that?

I mean, it's like, you know... How many pages is this fucking thing? It's going to end up being about 60. Okay. 60 pages with a square spine. Well, you know how you'd buy a comic book at the store. It doesn't have a spine. Yeah, it's like Staples.

It's like a floppy thing. Yeah, it's not that. It's not Staples. It's like a Japanese porno comic. It's glued in there, yeah. And then at the top tier, you'll be drawn into the comic book. As what? Well, it depends. There's a couple different places

where we have... How many spots do you have for that? I think like eight or ten. How much does that cost? Five grand? No, like five hundred bucks. Oh, that's a deal! That's a steal! Well, you're welcome to it I'm doing QVC marketing for you here, Vito How much is that going to cost? Five million dollars?

No, you'd be surprised No one's going to pay a grand to be in the comic But even 500, I don't know Is that a good price? You know what? I'm not going to second guess it on air But we'll see We'll see

Well, how many people could fit in it? I think there's room for like eight people. There's like, you know, it's like bystanders and stuff. Oh, okay. Yeah. Although there is like one panel. Someone getting raped? Could that be a...

No, but you could... That'd be a good one. You could be throwing a rock at Super Killer. Okay. Be part of the angry mob. Next week, huh? All right. Let the bidding begin.

It's pretty close to... I'm working on the video. Are you going to have any kind of special raffle for biggest problem supporters Like one of them gets in In the comic Yeah just one We got like 1500 people No

Okay Great Just pay for it Like what do you mean that's the best raffle of all You can't put a mustache on a random guy or something for random i mean we can do maybe you get something i don't know if you're like a patreon backer maybe you can get a that's what i mean okay i'll think of something okay five hundred dollars that's it yeah buy a raffle ticket every raffle ticket's a winner. There you go.

Okay. I love this Saturday afternoon podcast. It's so relaxing. Here's my problem. The Civil Rights Act. Which one? The one from 1964. Well, that's our show, folks.

Come on. What? I'm serious. All right. The Civil Rights Act. It is... Whatever the Constitution is, the Civil Rights Act is the inverse of that. What?

What? All right. Yep. That kind of show, folks. Yep That kind of show folks Cause you think it's about Helping black people right God forbid we do that Hey newsflash the government doesn't Fucking care about helping black people

Okay I don't know if I have to be the one I don't know if I'm the one to tell everybody this But as far as The government's list of priorities go Helping black people has never appeared In the top 100 Okay, so the Civil Rights Act This is the big one, right?

This is the big one What did it do specifically? Did it outlaw Jim Crow? See, this is why I brought this in Did it not outlaw Jim Crow? See, this is why I brought this in. Did it not outlaw Jim Crow? Do we even know what it is? Well, that's why I'm asking.

I know at one point the Jim Crow laws were done away with, and I'm asking if this is what did it. You'd think if it was that, it would just be like the no more Jim Crow laws. I'm not going to call it that. That's stupid. Well, no, because they crammed a bunch of other shit in. Yeah, they pork bellied in, I'm sure. What's the pork?

Tell me about the pork. It's a landmark civil rights and labor law in the U.S. that outlawed discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, national origin. Yeah. It prohibits unequal application of voter registration requirements, racial segregation in schools and public accommodations, and employment discrimination. The act remains one of the most significant legislative achievements in American history. The reason I brought it in is because, um, I think it destroyed America.

Yeah. What we know of as America, like at one point America was, um, kind of a, uh, a great and amazing experiment on freedom. And they introduced those fucking seatbelt laws, but yeah. Yeah, and then they destroyed it with this one thing, the Civil Rights Act, which is in direct, diametrically opposed and in direct contradiction to everything that's in the Constitution. Title I, I'm going to go through them. You stop me when you're bored.

Voting rights. It barred unequal application of voter registration requirements. It did not eliminate literacy tests. Did not. I want to bring those back. Let's be real. Well, it didn't because those are a good idea. Right?

It just said, well, you just can't do it for black people only. Right. Everybody has to be able to read. Yeah. Kind of. You guys can make fucked up tests to vote, but you have to make white people do them too Yeah Because, surprise surprise Political groups will cheat at elections Wow

See, they were doing that Can you believe that? Can you believe that for hundreds of years That a political party was cheating Voting Yeah, which party was fucking around though, Dick? Does it voting? Yeah, which party was fucking around, though, Dick? Does it matter? I think it does matter. Well, the party

switched, remember? I know. Which party was it that was... Swapped it around. They said, no, you guys can keep fucking around with those tests like that, but you gotta do it to white people, too. And they said, okay, never mind. Yeah, we want the dumb poor Okay, never mind

Well, this sounds good though Right Okay, so you like this one Great Okay, title one's good So why is there nine more titles? Well, I assume you're going to tell us Why is there nine more titles?

Title two, public accommodation Outlawed discrimination based on race, color, religion, or national origin, hotels, motels, restaurants, theaters, and all public accommodations engaged in interstate commerce. The title defined public accommodation is establishments that serve the public. That's not only unconstitutional, it undermines the entire concept of freedom. If you're not free to discriminate, then you have no freedom. It's the basis of freedom. What do you want to do?

I don't want to do that. Why? Doesn't matter. Is it because it's black? I don't know. I didn't think about it. Maybe. It causes a lot of problems when you allow people to discriminate.

To be free? Yeah. Okay, let's put it this way. I own a trucking company, right? Yeah. Okay. Is it gay? Does it have Dylan Mulvaney on it? We, right? Yeah. Okay. Is it gay? Does it have Dylan Mulvaney on it?

We only hire gays. Sure. Okay. Okay. And I don't care what color you are. I'm happy to hire white gay guys and black gay guys. But here's the problem. If I hire black gay guys to drive my trucks, there's certain parts of the country where

they're unable to refuel their vehicles. Yeah. Therefore requiring me to discriminate and only hire white guys to ensure my trucking company can operate uninhibited. Yeah. So that's the problem is that you can't interfere with, what he said, interstate commerce.

Interstate commerce, right. You have to be able to provide accommodations all sorts of people otherwise the discrimination trickles down it's uh you've you've just kind of exhibited why it's so bad though because no in your mind you've chosen black people as this aggrieved group that everyone has to, that everyone has to legally protect in some way. And the idea that there is somebody, you in your own mind, who has the authority to protect somebody necessarily turns the entire

system into, uh, into a, uh, into one of tyranny instead of assuming that I picked them though. It's more than by circumstance. Yeah. a bunch of guys decided, you know, they just, I don't know. I decided I don't like this one group of people.

And for some reason, they all decided on black people at the same time. Well, I don't know why they did that. And so they kind of forced our hand and said, listen. It would have been one thing if it was like a guy who hates Chinese people. And he would have went, you know what? It's okay if one guy- He's Japanese, by the way. Sure.

And he refuses- You're not sitting here criticizing Japan. Are you? Mr. VR anime rape porn? Nobody. Look, I'm not saying the Japanese and the Chinese have to love each other, but they do have to be willing to engage in commerce with each other. So then why after all this time of doing all this shit for interstate stuff to protect black people,

are they still so bad off that they need $7 million in reparations? Maybe it's not about that. Maybe it's not about that is all I'm saying. That's not why we have the civil rights laws. It wasn't like, this is definitely going to fix everything, but it is like, Hey,

here's the bare minimum of what we need to at least give them a chance. No. Some black guys do quite fine. Okay. Not because of the civil rights act. I think the civil rights act is helping them out. Absolutely. Sometimes they get thirsty and you can't find a drinking fountain.

Are there a lot of drinking fountains around? Like, I know that we learned that as kids. Like, as kids, they teach us, well, black people had to have their own drinking fountains. Because as a kid, you're like, well, I have class and then there's drinking fountains. So it makes sense. But as an adult, I'm like, I've never, if I saw a drinking fountain out in public, I would go, that's fun. Don't fucking drink out of that. That's disgusting. My dog would drink out of that.

Not me. Before everyone had bottled water, Dick, it was a time when. You don't need water all day. You can go six hours without drinking water. This is a bad argument against civil rights. I see you on the house floor in 1968. What are they drinking so much water for anyway? Who even gives a shit? Actually, that's a great argument.

They bring some guy in there, you know, shoveling, drinking water. Hey, I haven't drank water. Fish fucking water. Am I right? You know what I'm talking about. We'll keep letting these black folk drink all the water. There's not going to be any left for the rest of us

All I'm saying is Once you set up the idea that In public if you have a business or whatever You can't discriminate Then you've necessarily upended freedom And there's none of it Doesn't matter what race it is The only problem with the Civil Rights Act is

I should be allowed to not hire women But Yeah you switch black with women? Different reaction. Different reaction. We can't stop black people from driving trucks. Okay, what about women? Well, obviously, yeah.

That would be horrible. That's the only part. Thank God they don't want to because they're so lazy. But the rest of it, I think, makes sense. Okay, so title one, voting rights. That's a check fine, right? Title II, public accommodations, tyranny. Disagree.

Well, okay. We're going with mine. It's my problem. Sure. Title III is all in the Civil Rights Act. Desegregation of public facilities. Fine, right? Yeah.

Government's paying for it. Yeah, of course. Okay. That's a good one. What do you mean? You guys were fucking around with segregation in public? Well, he shouldn't have been doing that. That's fucked up.

No more separate but equals. Title V, Commission on Civil Rights. This might be the worst one. An independent commission created by this, by Eisenhower, is charged with responsibility for investigating, reporting on, and making recommendations for more civil rights. All right. That's a problem. You know what?

Actually, we didn't know enough about what was going on with civil rights when we made this bill. So we need to make a whole organization that just comes up with reasons to make more of these laws. Why don't you guys do that first and then come back with, no, no, no, no, we're going to, we're pretty sure this is right. We're just going to make sure that we get them all forever. You don't see a problem with that? I'll bring a black guy on the show sometime. I feel like.

I'll tell a black guy whose face is the civil rights, the civil rights act is the worst thing ever made. We need a black guest someday. Title VI, non-discrimination in federally assisted programs. So we got, wait. Is that affirmative action? It's basically saying like,

if you get any federal money, then you can't. Can't just give it to white guys. And we decide what's discrimination. If we give you any money, you can't discriminate. And we decide what discriminating means. Okay.

Well, that's a problem when the federal government has, like, an unlimited money printing machine. Don't you think? I hate this problem so much. Don't you think? I'm just saying. Has anybody actually read the Civil Rights Act? Don't make me agree with you on any of this. I'm not going to agree with you.

Don't go, you know what I mean. Don't you think that's bad? Would you think it's a good idea if I had an infinite money printing machine? You can have all the rhetorical questions you want, alright? I'm not here with you on this one. Specifically, it investigates allegations of

discrimination based on race, sex, national origin, disability. But don't you see how this is like causing all this trans shit? All this stuff? I love trans people. Oh yeah? I just think they need some common sense discussions.

That's not what the Civil Rights Act says. It says they doesn't need any at all. They could just be different sex and then they get all of this. The sports thing is a big problem. Title seven, equal employment opportunity. Okay, so you have no freedom on how you spend money at all. Well, you just can't.

You can't. How many more titles are there? Is that all of them? Eleven. It's just making you uncomfortable, Vito.. This is exhausting title 8 registration and voting statistics Seems like Title 9 Any

Prohibits a sex-based discrimination in any school or other education program that receives funding from the federal government. So universities have to have girl sports. Right. And girl shit, even though no one likes girl sports. Yeah. And no one likes sports at all. Like sports is just a big fucking college sports is just a big scam. So they just have to like offer it.

Like they don't have to give it the same amount of money, though. Yes, they do. They have to give it the exact same amount of money? Mm-hmm. They have to suck down the profits from football and basketball, men's, and siphon it out. The women's sports in college make dick. Yeah.

Maybe women's softball is cash positive, but otherwise, not a... Well, they're making so much from the men's sports, I can't really feel bad For them there They They rape those athletes But that's why The trans shit is happening

Cause all the money's what? Cause all Cause there's money There's free Weird money being Given to the women So the guys are like Well I was

Fucking sixth place In guys I'm just gonna go Be a fucking Gmail or whatever Yeah but they don't get money They can win trophies And shit They get a degree It's like Gattaca Fucking sixth place in guys. I'm just going to go be a fucking Gmail or whatever. Yeah, but they don't get money. They can win trophies and shit.

They get a degree. It's like Gattaca. Yeah, you can get a free. It's true. You can get a scholarship. Title 10, community relations service. I'm not sure, but I think this turned into hate crimes. I didn't look it up. Okay.

I'm pretty sure that turned into like the concept of hate crimes, which is retarded. Hate crime writers I do disagree with. Title 11. Here's the big one last one you tell me okay if the government needs this one miscellaneous what it's called okay what's covered title 11 miscellaneous okay stop grinning stop stop doing this thing. This is your precious civil rights act that you think makes you the savior of black people. I never said that. Title 11, miscellaneous.

Gives defendant accused of criminal contempt in a matter arising under any of the other ones the right to a jury trial if convicted for various racisms. You know, you can be fined up to $1,000 and imprisoned for six months. I wrote this or some shit. You would have if you could have.

This is my film. You voted for it. I voted for it back in 1968. If you were alive in 1964. I probably would have voted for the Civil Rights Act. You're right. You would have been there the next day. You would have woke up and found the nearest black guy and said,

What's up, my brother? I would have. We did it, my brother. And I would have gave him a job and a hot meal. It's the unconstitution. Let him fuck my wife. And until conservatives are ready to say flat out that they should repeal the Civil Rights Law, the Civil Rights Act,

they can shoot as many gay beers as they want. They're not serious. Go to war with China. This is the, this is the, this is the thing that undermined the entire fucking constitution right there. Fascinating. And if you think it's about black people, you are an idiot. Dick's problem is black people have too many rights.

They didn't get any out of that. I think they got some. I think your cheeky reading is not 100% accurate. That's what it was! I read it! Miscellaneous! Look it up! God forbid we have equal access to

opportunity in this country. Yes! Literally! Yes! God forbid that! Yeah, you do not have access to equal opportunity! What a nightmare. Well, I'm glad we're segueing into my problem, Dick, which is Nazis are too cool. Guys,

who doesn't love these Nazis? What if I was you? I'd be like, oh, that's so horrible, Vito. Oh my god, that's so horrible. Well, because I'm saying the problem is that we don't want them to be cool because they're bad guys. But they wore such cool outfits, and they carried themselves in such an interesting manner, and they had great graphic design

and architecture and iconography that now you're like, man, I wish we had cool military uniforms. What if we put all our guys in, like, cool leather trench coats with, like, skulls on them? That would be kind of like the Nazis. Wasn't it? You're like, Oh yeah.

I wore that. What if I went out wearing like a cool like hat, you know, and like a cool big old, I look kind of like a Nazi. Oh, what if I had my hair, you know,

pulled to the side and I had this cool little toothbrush. Oh, I wear Hugo boss. Well, Hugo boss is of course the most popular. So I got too fat for it. Did you know that Hugo Boss was one of the Nazi himself? A sponsoring member of the Schutzstaffel, also known as the SS.

That was the Nazis' paramilitary wing, and he made monthly donations to the organization. But interestingly enough, Dick, Hugo boss did not design the iconic black SS uniforms for which it is often credited. That was Stussy that designed that. Yeah. Wait, which one's Stussy? Heinrich Stussy. He made the skate brand after. Yeah. It wasn't Dr. Scholl, famous Nazi doctor who designed all their shoes. I mean, let's be real, because I saw, you know, somebody online was complaining because there's this guy, you know, Clarence Thomas.

Everybody's mad right now. Yeah. OK, Supreme Court justice. And, you know, if you know a Supreme Court justice, you want to send him gifts. Why would you not send him gifts? But, you know, they're sending him Nazis. Well, there's all these rules about like What is a gift or whatever one of the things Is he would always get yeah that's dumb there was this

Crazy like millionaire who's always like hey Clarence come on over and they're trying to say Him you know flying to that guy Billionaire accepting a Vacation at the guy's house that should Be considered a gift the guy's island Yeah yeah but then on the guy's Island he's got a bunch of cool Nazi

stuff. And all these people are going, well, look at that, huh? Why has he got all this Nazi stuff, huh? And I go, the fucking Smithsonian has a bunch of Nazi stuff? What are you fucking idiots talking about? I go, bro, if I had a bunch of money, I would definitely own a bunch

of Nazi stuff. I know. Because it's so cool. My fucking grandpa had a Luger and a Nazi armband that he took off of a dead Nazi in World War II. And he sold it to some guy before he died. I was like, fuck, man. I really wanted that. That sucks.

But it had a different, I don't think he wanted it had a different meaning to him. He didn't want a Jew killing gun in his... Well, he was 14 and pulling, looting corpses. He didn't want a Jew killing gun in his... Well, he was 14. Pulling, looting corpses. He was looting corpses at 14? Yeah. Why was he in Germany?

For fun. Wait, was he American or was he German? Yeah, he was American. Or he was 16. He was underage. Yeah. He lied about his age. Oh, and he fought over there and whatever.

Yeah, my grandpa was stuck in a... I don't know if he fought. He killed the Pat Tillman of his generation, I think. My grandpa was stuck on a Navy boat, so he didn't get to loot anything. That sucks. He was a seaman?

He was a seaman. He loved singing his seaman songs. For Italy? For Mussolini? No, no, no, no. He was American. I'm talking about my... Yeah.

No, this was later on. My other grandpa was an optometrist in the Korean War, which is not interesting at all. Do they still have the guy at swap meets that has all the Nazi stuff? I don't think so. I think they kicked all those guys out. That sucks. I remember going over and being like, whoa, this is like real Nazi stuff.

Damn cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those Nazis were pretty cool, huh? And you're like, yeah. And he goes, yeah, you kind of want to be one one day, huh? And I'm like, not exactly. Nah, they're kind of responsible for, like, the fall of Germany and all of Western civilization, like, because they fucked around and found out.

But, I mean, I don't know. They screwed up. Hugo Boss used over 140 people from concentration camps to work in their factories, along with 40 French prisoners of war. So, something to know about Hugo Boss. He's a bad guy, you say. He's a bad guy. He's a Nazi.

We got all other stuff. Well. Say he's a Nazi. Not all Nazis had concentration camp workers. You know, that's like one level up on the Nazi scale. Oh. There's degrees of Nazi. Oh.

There's like. I don't think you should be saying that kind of stuff. Well, they don't want you to, but I don't agree with that. What do you call it? Some Nazis are just guys hanging out, hating Jews. The reason, Dick, I mean, we could learn something from the Nazis. They had 240 different uniforms in their society. Coal miners had their own uniform.

Post office employees. You ever see a post office employee? Yeah. They got like a shitty one. Like Newman. They got to wear like shorts. Yeah, those shorts are pretty cool though. I don't think our-

Those blue shorts? I think our post office workers could look a bit cooler. And they say they did it. How did the Nazi post office workers look? Fucking awesome, I bet. Let's see. See if you can find it. I bet they say they did it. How did the Nazi post office workers look? Fucking awesome I bet. Let's see. See if you can find it. I bet they look fucking jacked. Nazi post office

uniforms. Don't look at what pops up on the suggestion. It gave their society, everybody felt like they were a part of something. Well that's fascism though. What giving everybody a governmental identity? Yeah. Yeah that's fascism, though. What, giving everybody a governmental identity? Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I get it. Reich Post uniforms. Yeah, that was it. Where? A bunch of guys standing next to each other. That's deviant art, though. It says the fucking uniforms, 1935 to 1945.

Hmm. What are you wearing? Are furries going to be wearing them because it's on deviant art? Yes, I do think that Nazi furries are a thing I mean, think about all the things that have been ruined Because of Nazis I mean, like an armband, a striking colored

Armband on a uniform Anti-Semitism Oh look, you can't wear a big old Armband anymore, you can't have a hat With an eagle on it Or a hat with a skull on it. Or a hat with a skull on it. Like the Tecate can. Yeah, and then you guys

like you fuck it up even worse. Me? You go, look at these Bored Ape Nazi Club and you say that they're- That is a Nazi dog whistle. Yes it is! Yes it is! No it isn't! The guy who created the Bored Ape Yacht Club has an art history degree and wrote his thesis on a Nazi artist.

I'm telling you guys, it's a Nazi prank. What he's doing. They're fun monkey pieces. No. You buy a little monkey and you have fun. No, it's all Nazi stuff. It's not all Nazi stuff. Why am I being, if anybody knows what a Nazi dog whistle is, it's me.

It's a Nazi dog whistle. Well, it's no problem if it's a Nazi dog whistle, because Nazi stuff is cool, and we need to reclaim it somehow. I can't find the post office. What was the DVR thing? It didn't pop up. Yes, it did, right there. No, it didn't.

Nothing popped up there. Click it. Okay, asshole. See? Nothing. It's just a white screen right click google crashed now hit visit nope you didn't hit the backseat googlers because you're a fucking grandpa and you're terrible using the internet look at these fucking german postal uniforms

look at this they got a different one for every post guy they got the post young boaty the post healthler the zweig post and floater the health post and chauffeur you got the post-Jung Bote, the post-Helfler, the Zweg post-Floater, the health post-Shoffer. You got the post-Schofer, the Obst-Kleskar, the post-Coffinwater. Look at the post-Skector. He's the one. He's the one. The post-Inspector-Rand-Worter. Yeah.

The Auburn poster-Krytar. The post-Kytar. These guys look like they're about to fly a plane. That's how good they look for post office guys I mean, I think it's funny Like all the I think all the Nazi stuff is funny But they're like

Nazis are fucking retarded Which ones? Like current Nazis? No, no The actual Nazis The actual Nazis were retarded They fucked up They fucked up

Like They fucked up like a layup Well, yeah I mean, just The most They fucked up They fucked up Like They fucked up Like a layup Well Yeah I mean Just the most That's what it annoys me about Like the post ironic

Nazi worship That's happened That happens online Yeah Is that they were idiots Is that some Like people are into it And every once in a while

You have to take a step back And go like You guys know that Like they They were like They fucked up I mean pretty much everything. Like they're fucking retarded.

Well, Hitler fucked up a lot of stuff. Not like the average guy. What do you mean? The average Nazi? Hitler was like drugged out of his mind. Is the, is the running.

That's cool. That's based on drugs. Don't blame Nazis on drugs. Commander. You're not supposed to be taking a bunch of speed. The Nazis were, the Nazis applied like woke politics to everything, to everything from the top.

Although like if something wasn't the Nazi way to do something, it would be, yeah, it would be expelled. You would lose your, you would lose your position and whatever. Like it's unfortunate that not that Nazis have become associated more with the right instead of the left because it's like similar to the way the left is like, well, if it's not if you're not like promoting like intersectionality, then you

don't get any funding. You're the same as a bad guy, yeah. And that's what, the Nazis did the same thing. It was like, well Heisenberg, what you're saying is kind of Jewish. Yeah. So your atomic bomb research is out of here. And he was dead on. So the leftist guys were like the Nazis because we're, you know, too

ideologically driven. Yeah, everything is like ideology first. You guys are like the Nazis because you want to kill blacks and gay people. I mean, I didn't say that. I mean, that sounds expensive. So I'll take I'll take the

Over two committed to our ideology Side of the equation And you guys can own Killing minorities That seems to be your thing Oh Vito And they call you a pedophile Point is Dick

Wouldn't it be great If we were all walking around In cool uniforms And cool armbands And cool hats But we can't We can't Cause it's all Nazi stuff! They ruined

all this great fashion, all this great architecture, great hairstyles. Yeah. All lost to the winds, thanks to one crazy guy. Yeah. He kept crying, and he wouldn't stop. Dylan Mulvaney. Dylan Mulvaney.

Yeah. Okay. That's my problem, Dick Dick The Nazis are too cool Much like smoking is too cool This is a follow up problem Did you do that one? I did do that one Yeah What's cooler?

Why are you making me want a cigarette? Smoking or Nazis? Um Smoking Let me put an image in your mind A cool Nazi guy Smoking a cigarette Well at least his hands are tied up

What a show Guys don't forget to vote on all the problems At biggestproblem.show Check out our bonus episodes The very exciting Biggest problem in Mario All available at patreon.com And back.by

We're going to go to the voicemails now, but don't forget to get in your super chats. We'll be reading those shortly. Yeah, get your super chats in. Thanks again to Bobster for this week's Voted Up Stinger. Okay, here we go. Thank you to Drucken Atheist Studio

for all the clips you've been providing for the channel. Hey, Vic. Hey, Vito. I was catching up on your episodes recently and I heard Dick's problem of not good enough VR porn. That was my problem, that was Vito's problem. And I'm here to say from experience, he's fucking right. I have an

Oculus Quest 2, blah blah blah. I use it to hook up to my PC and I play this game every now and then when I want to crank one out Called fucking What is it? Cherry VX What is it?

What's that game called? Oh yeah, Cherry VX Okay, it's like you pick a model You can edit the size of their tits You can edit the size of all their extremities And shit like that Their body, whatever Their skin color, everything

But my problem is They stopped development with this game. And this seems to be the best one where you can actually fuck them, right? You get like a fake penis that whatever, I guess you put it on your dick. I don't know what the fuck they want you to do. It's like impossible to actually hit these fake broads. But anyway, the game has no mod support, and they stopped developing it. So you get these three girls. There's one dissy-looking fucking ghetto white chick, an Asian girl, and another white chick.

You don't even get a black girl. It's like... Cherry VX? It's fucking stupid, man. And all the other games that I see, they don't let you do fucking anything. It's like you get to watch people fuck you get to watch other VR Dudes fuck girls. Whoa sure like I want to be cooked in VR. That's my fucking dream No, I want to make my wiener big Guys, who are you?

I mean a justicizer has a fucking body Big Any videos on YouTube cherry VX cherry VX videos Just hit the videos tab. Cherry game. Hit the button that says videos. Why? I just put that one. Oh, my God. Those tits are huge. Really?

Let me see. Chat with your AI dream. No, that's an ad. Oh, you're so sweet, Oni-chan. 17 minutes on Pornhub. Wow. Really? Okay. All right. Dang. Wow! Really? Okay.

Alright. Dang! Those titties are bouncing. Oh, and this is the narrator in the game? Like Bob Hoskins? I think this is the guy who made it telling you. That's right. I think this is the developer talking about his... Her face is kind of jacked up, though.

That's right, Governor. Increase the size of those In between a teddy thing mods me ever Rwanda no tell Unlike in Vietnam these bitches don't hit back works better in VR and we can actually do with the prop is attach it Okay right now I eat Yeah Okay, right now I work your penis. Yeah. Look at the balls. I just want Bob Hoskins narrating all my porn. There she goes, off with the top then, Gabner. I don't know, this doesn't look, yeah, I gotta say, this doesn't look great.

This could be way better. But it's not in VR. You gotta go in VR. But why is she looking at you? Why is the girl looking at you While the dildo Is like a disembodied penis Is going into her mouth

I'd rather get Dylon in VR That's not his name Dylon VR Okay Here we go Hey I know that Justin Roiland Things old news by now But I also know Vito won't shut up about it

the 16 year old girl he was talking to everyone so hung up about I know her or I knew her we she was a whore a decade ago when I was like 11 or something we would

play Minecraft together and she's like she was like 13 at the time fast forward to when she was like 15 16 17 she was a whore like she's british she's a british whore um where you know in england the age of his name is 16 um and she would like sell nudes to people when she was 16 which i'm sure is still illegal um and now she's like sell nudes to people when she was 16, which I'm sure is still illegal. And now she's like an only fans cam girl. I mean, I don't make it any better, but it's like this. We're pretending that he was messaging some 16 year old slut. He got tricked.

He didn't make it on my prostitute. Justin Roiland got duped. Call me back. Could have happened to any of us Could have happened to anybody She groomed him Well it sounds like she's a I don't know what you want to say Whore?

That's his words That's my words This whore sneaks into Justin Roiland's thing And says hey I really like all that work you're doing on that new animation And he goes wow thanks I've been working really hard She goes by the way do you want to see my Fucking underage titties the thing that says, hey, I really like all that work you're doing on that new animation. And he goes, wow, thanks. I've been working really hard. She goes, by the way, do you want to see my fucking underage titties? He goes, oh, God, no.

Oh, gee whiz. And now he's been trapped by this fucking bitch. I think it's rape if a man is drunk and he's DMing you sexually. That's on you. These bitches tricked him. that's on the women yeah uh okay he's just trying to make cartoons man they're sliding in his dms yeah seriously bunch of i texted that girl she wouldn't even open the open the message it's entrapment it is entrapment uh how about a civil rights act for men? Yeah No Okay How about

Let's see here Oh yeah This is a good question A lot of people are asking The biggest problem In the universe Is when you're A fat fuck

I didn't hear that part Who every week Has a new excuse As to why Their Kickstarter Isn't up This week. This week. It's happening this week.

Oh, they're threatening now. They're threatening to take the money away because the product isn't out fast enough. Okay, look. You know how good that is for you? That's like peak hype is when they start threatening to take the money away. Here's the problem. It's that I don't, I can't, it's complicated. Okay. I have

to make the pitch video, right? Okay. It has to be good. Right. I only get one chance at this. Okay. And if it fails, I'm going to kill myself. That's the video. That's a great video! So this is a matter of life and death whether

or not I make a good Kickstarter campaign. It's gonna be on Indiegogo by the way. Okay? Okay. If I fuck it up... I thought you were making your own site. No, I'm not doing that. Okay, that was dumb. That was a bad, yeah, that was a big waste of time. Okay. And, I mean, there's still the site that people can go to, but...

So I have to do it perfectly Or else I die That's it But you want to die So it should be no big deal If the comic does good I won't want to die anymore What's good? How much is good? Ideally

My ideal The number I have If I can sell a thousand copies of a comic book Okay I will be happy One thousand dollars at twenty five bucks a can sell a thousand copies of a comic book, I will be happy. $1,000 at $25 a copy? No, 1,000 copies. Yeah, what did I say?

$25 a copy. 1,000 copies. $7,000. Okay, sorry. 1,000 copies at $25. $25 grand? You want out of this? Yes.

What are you going to do to get there? You're going to have to make a lot of amends. No, no. Like what? Like Eric July. Eric July is not going to have me on. You've got to come out and say that this is an anti-woke. It's not anti-woke.

That's what's important. But what if it is? But it is. It is. Like Woke Man has to be in the first panel. No, no. Woke this. It's complicated. Hey, Dylan Mulvaney. Like woke man has to be in the first panel And he's like No No Woke this It's complicated

Hey Dylan Mulvaney I already know I already know what's People are gonna accuse me They're gonna say it's anti-woke marketing That I'm doing But I am talking about The idea

That I will never get a job At a comic company Right Yeah Marvel Comics DC Comics Is never going to hire me

Well no comic company would ever hire you would they i don't know what are they gonna hire you for to write comics really yeah okay all right but right now they don't you know they hired like lesbians like black guys like that's all they which is, it's not a woke thing. It's just a, it's a no white guy thing. All right. Yeah. Okay. And that's what I'm talking about with the comics. I'm going, listen, powered by white. This is, well, it's a white guy comic. What are you going to do? And then I think that's exciting I think it's exciting That white guys can make stuff

You know? Because we're not really allowed to most of the time You know what the best part about this is? What? Is like your sheepish way that you say Look it's just I mean I don't know

It's just It's just a white comic. I mean, I just think it's kind of rare. If you want to buy a comic written by black or lesbians, you can. It's everywhere. But I'm just a white guy trying to make a white comic. You know? So shoot me.

That's the pitch. That's the pitch. i just think other white guys might like it i think people of all stripes will like it i'm sure yeah i mean i don't even know i don't want to presume here's maybe if they could maybe they have any money left after buying jerry curl and kavasie i i guess you know what i would be happier if like the anti-woke guys were focused in time. First of all, get rid of this word woke because it's stupid. Okay.

But if you want to talk about, again, remember we brought it up on the show, the like puppeteer, the Kermit fucking scholarship. Yeah. It's like, do you want to be the next puppeteer for Kermit? We're looking for BIPOC, especially women. Yeah, women. Retarded people, as long as they're not white. Yeah. That's bad. That's bad. Yeah, women. Retarded people, as long as they're not white. Yeah.

That's bad. Like, we should talk about that. I talked about it for like 20 minutes, and you acted like I was fucking Hitler. It's different. It was different when you talked about it. Okay. But instead, we get bogged down in like, who's in the movie? It's like, oh, they made another movie with a black character in it and you're like i

don't care what the character is in it i care about like the actual people who are allowed to write it and work on it and that that's all i care about i don't care as long as you know whoever the best people are getting the job i don't care if they go hey my name is tom bradley and i'm writing you know the lesbian black girl adventure. I'm like, yeah, whatever. Everybody can write whatever they want. But we do exist in a society where, you know, you go to hire somebody for a job. Look at like fucking SNL. They're like, hey, we got a white guy, an Asian guy and something else. And the Asian guy goes, I don't really like the white guy.

And they go, never mind. No white guy. Just an Asian guy. Yeah, because of title fucking two. It's not because of title. Yes, it is. title yes it is title two I think that and I think liberals need to need to talk about this okay this is what's driving everyone insane nobody wants to hear that your dreams don't

matter because you're the wrong skin color you're not allowed to be a permit puppeteer because you were born the wrong color and you're not and then you have people like you were talking about you can't be wrong color And you're not And then you have people Like you were talking about I mean you can't be an astronaut if you're a white man Well unless you're Canadian They're sending a Canadian to space Gay You can't be

You can't be an astronaut if you're a straight white man Right Not in America No Yeah It's sickening And everybody It drives everybody insane

Because people understand how unfair that is It drives you nuts It's driven me nuts Yeah So buy my comic That should be your video insane because people understand how unfair that is. It drives you nuts. It's driven me nuts. That should be your video. Support white people making stuff. Not in like a weird Nazi way. Just in a like, hey, white guys are pretty

good at making stuff. They've made some great stuff. Have you ever heard of the Renaissance brought to you by white people. Oh, so that's bad? Well, because then they start posting the statues and the trad wife shit, and they're like, ooh, how come they don't make statues like this anymore? Wives are bad.

Wives are bad. Don't bring women into it. All right, one more. Yeah. Hi, Dick and Vito. I have a tip-based story for you. So I used to work at a pizza place in Pennsylvania, and I made $7.25, which was minimum wage. And people would pit me at the counter, and then at the end of the day, the owner would come in and pocket most of the tips.

And he said that is minimum wage, so he technically doesn't have to let me have tips. So, yep. Anyway, love the show. Yeah, that's bullshit. Yeah. They have to tell you, they can't take,

you gotta put up a sign that says, hey, our owner takes the tips. A lot of places try to pull that shit. Just take them. Just take the tips. Actually, just rob your job.

Who cares? Yeah. And then do a mass shooting. Guys, what a show. What are you gonna So if you sell less than A thousand copies

You're gonna kill yourself On live Yeah I'll live stream it Wow Like Bud Dwyer I don't think I'm allowed I don't think I'm allowed To make those jokes

I think you get in trouble I think you get banned It's not a joke So you're in luck I know You are not allowed To make those jokes It's a serious statement

Let's uh Let's hope Let's hope Are you going to do a thing on your channel? Are you going to do a viral video? That would be fun I mean for your comic Not of the suicide I'm only thinking about the suicide video

All the planning is going into that Okay I know everybody I know I missed it to to be fair, last week. I think I should have a penalty for that, but I don't know what it is. You have to be the one. If you miss it, it's over. That's it.

No, it's not over forever. No, but I'm saying you don't get to like. I should have a penalty, but I don't know what it is. There should be a penalty. We have to figure out a penalty for when Dick does not call it. Okay. Okay. Guys, episode 85.

What an episode. Coup for two. Thank you all for not killing yourselves. Not yet. Brits man for two. Mexican or Indian food. Haven't had Indian food in a while. I mean, today?

I had a sandwich today. Antagonist for two. Shout out to PKA. I'm going to knock Woody out. Oh! Brace I for a big 10. Vito, I'm a strength and conditioning coach. Okay. I don't care. With a lot of

experience unfatting people with chronic health conditions, I will train you in person for free if you make a series out of it. For free? With some of your magic words. Are you going to meet me somewhere? Are you in LA? Well, why would he say I will train you in person for free if he wasn't in LA? I don't know because he's just an idiot. He's trying to have he wasn't in LA I don't know cause he's

Trying to have sex with me cause he's gay Look he's got a big hamburger for his Thing here Well I don't know send me a message Yeah but are you gonna do it Why not I got a plan What's your plan

Once I get the pills I gotta get all this medication first I gotta get the pills And the I gotta get all this medication first I gotta get the What is the thing? Responsibility Accountability I gotta get testosterone You still don't have it yet?

No Like they keep rejecting my blood work Who's they? Mexican pharmacies? Yeah they keep saying There's too much Donut residue on the blood card I go well Who are you sending this to? Just a guy rejecting my blood work. Who's they? Mexican pharmacies? Yeah, they keep saying there's too much donut residue on the blood card.

I go, well... Who are you sending this to? Just a guy. Like the guy that gave Barry Bonds his... No, there's like a lab and I send it in and they go,

oh, I don't know, we gotta check your levels again. You need a Mexican pharmacy, bro. Yeah, I know. I should just buy a testosterone. I don't know. Okay. I'm trying to do it legitimately.

Noah R. gives us a big $20 and a sticker that says you are gay. It doesn't say you're gay. You are amazing. Oh, thanks. A little dancing blue guy. Darius Ryan Acovas for five. Did you go to the Magic Tournament yesterday? No, I fell

asleep. Oh, you had the day to get your special card. I was all fucked. I woke up at like 2 a.m. and I was falling asleep. It's all a mess. Turkey sandwich for 10. Spending 10 just in case no one else said it. Vito said TBF last week. He read a super chat.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, Dick fucked it up, so there's no sound effect. Yeah, there should be a punishment sound effect, honestly. Everybody brainstorm what Dick has to say. But I'm not doing any gay stuff. Well, then it's not a punishment. It has to be gay. Mr. Banks for two.

Should look into adding some reverb to Vito's intro. Okay. Can we do that on the fly? I guess you could. Yeah, maybe. Lemon Trashy for two says Jim Sterling looks hilarious now. Yeah, Jim Sterling, that guy who loves video game difficulty levels What? Became a trans lady Oh

And it's kind of like The ultimate Does she pass? You know how They always say that Oh but do they pass? Like oh yeah If you're a fucking blind

People throw out Blair White Well she doesn't pass Like Blair White I go yeah Jim is the Pass through a trash I look at Jim And I go This is like The White. I go, yeah. Jim is the... Pass through a trash compact. I look at Jim and I go, this is like the alternate reality of me if I just made all the wrong choices.

I look at Jim Sterling and I go, I mean, he, she, or she's got more money than me, I guess, but... Really? Oh, yeah. She's got a big old Patreon. What is it? Jim Sterling? Just Jim Sterling's Patreon. She's like super liberal. Hi Hi I'm James Stephanie Sterling

Well she got famous By looking Actually she used to dress up like a Nazi And just rant about video games And now she apologizes for all her Oh yeah me too I apologize For all that stuff I said today Yeah and then just became

The big fat trans lady who looks, frankly, ridiculous. What's ridiculous about this? I mean, whatever. I guess they looked ridiculous when they were a big fat guy to begin with, so who cares? Women look worse than that. Normal, like... Sometimes. Actual women.

Most of them, I think, look worse than this. Most women look worse than this. Okay, but that's like the one good picture. I mean, like, go to the video. Accessibility and gamer pride She's got cartoons Look at the like beginning maybe you'll see Okay weird You think that's better than most ladies?

Yeah that's indistinguishable from most women You don't think so? If I showed you a random lineup of women from planet Earth or America, and I said... I'd put Jim on the... I'm not saying Jim's the worst looking. Bottom five. I would say bottom five.

Out of... You're saying what? Who's the bottom five? Jim Sterling would be in the bottom five. Out of ten? Out of five. Yeah, out of ten. Okay.

So it'd be in the back half. Back half. But not the worst. Bank three. I don't know. You're going to get some weight. I mean, she's got enough skin filler or whatever. I mean, makeup on.

I mean, she's wearing a cool outfit. Yeah, it's rad. I like that dumb hat. It could be tighter and grosser. I can't say anything. I look like a piece of shit anyway. I just, at least I'm not wearing a wig, you know? Today.

Today. Yet. Just today. Although that can be fixed mighty quickly. Where are we at? Sorry. Okay. People want a full length trans man song.

I don't know. I wonder if that joke would kill itself a little too quickly. Well, it was great. Quick feet Steve for five when my kid shows me something she's built in Minecraft. I tell her it doesn't count because she made it peaceful. Then comes the water. Oh, yeah, exactly.

Well, you made that when there's no... That wig is in the new Shawnees collection that's coming out. I still have zero Shawnees. Well, you can get some. Someone keeps saying they'd send me one. I got to set up a wallet. Pete Oxenham for $4.99.

Experience the story, challenge, and satisfaction of losing some weight. Seamoss4044 for $5. I love you guys. I love you, Seamoss. Matt White for $20. Big dollars. Vito, if you get in a car wreck with no seatbelt and end up like Simple Jack, please keep doing the show.

That would be hilarious. I'll be the retarded whack packer. Who's going to play with all your toys if you get retarded in a car accident? I'll still play with the toys, Dick. I'm just going to be ramming them into each other a little more aggressively than before. Okay. JJ for five. Vito is not a psychopath.

He just fantasizes about attacking schools, attacking Ashley B., and heroing himself. I mean, he's really not. I think those are all sane things to do. That's like normal things. Fatics the great for five. Huge problem is having to do tech support for your girlfriend or wife. Reboot the goddamn thing, you dumb bitch. It'll probably fix it. I agree.

Because you don't think like a criminal. That's how I know you're not a psychopath. And Fatics for five sends the same message, meaning you're as dumb as your girlfriend. Sucker! Do not charge it back. You'll be banned. You'll be banned if you charge it back. He literally sent it three times.

Thank you for the 15. Do not charge it back. You nailed it. David Gomez for five. Vito just brought in bodily autonomy. TBF, that includes lording people's jobs over them if they don't get the vax. Did you bring bodily autonomy in? I don't know.

Were you problems? My problems were seatbelts. Nazis? That's a bodily autonomy thing. Oh, yeah, so you're fine with people not wearing seatbelts, but getting a vaccine, you're like, oh, yeah, you got to be fucking, lose your job and stuff. You don't have to get the vaccine. Oh, really?

You can drive your car without a vaccine. That was never a thing. You can't have to get the vaccine. Oh, really? You can drive your car without a vaccine. Can you go to work with a vaccine? Depends where your workplace is. You fucking asshole. Fadix again sends the same message. Huge problem. We're up to $20. Thank you, Fadix. David Gomez for two. Ashley Babbitt

noises. What are those noises? No, you're fucking shooting. Yeah, that. Yeah, those are good. Fatix for two. I'll send more super chats if YouTube wasn't censorious as fuck. Yeah, I'm sorry.

Well, we need to set up. There's other ways to send super chats. We need to set up a stream labs. Wet banded for 10. All right. More ways for people to give me free money. Okay. Again, I'm trying to not kill myself, Dick.

The money helps. For 10, y'all should leave. Miracle cure for suicide. 20 bucks. It is a miracle cure. I'm going to kill myself. Here's 20 bucks. Shut up.

If I was a homeless guy, my son would just say, I'll kill myself if you don't give me five bucks. I would pay you five bucks to kill yourself if you're a homeless guy. Why would I take money to kill myself? White Bandit for 10. Y'all should leave Magic slash Pokemon and switch to Yu-Gi-Oh. There's literally no black slash troon characters in any card art. All the women are shamelessly large-breasted or cute lollies. I can teach y'all to play.

You lost me at lollies. Yu-Gi-Oh just looks creepy. The font and just looks creepy. The font and stuff looks weird. It's like if someone shows you handwriting I think like a pedophile wrote that. I don't know. I don't know why. I'd rather play Wise Schwartz.

Isn't that what all the anime kids like? I don't know. Warren, for two, Dick thinks America died with the 13th Amendment. No, that's not. Okay, whatever. For two, the only good politician in history was Jefferson. Is that the one who was moving on up? Yeah.

To the east side. George Jefferson. Yeah, George Jefferson. We don't get these civil rights. This is a pass today. Dixon my arse. I got it. For five, I got you, Vito. You got me. Can say it. Okay. I've got Dixon. I got it. For five, I got you, Vito.

You got me. Can say it. Okay. I've got Dixon. I get it. We did it. I have dicks in my ass. Is that better?

Good joke. Classic. Gunranger for five. Check out Banshees of Inna Sharon. It's a great movie. Keep up the good work. Thanks. Okay.

Petty for five. Missed the episode because I'm at the gym. America was a mistake. Go to the gym, Vito. I agree. Thanks Okay Patty for five Missed the episode Because I'm at the gym America was a mistake Go to the gym Vito I agree Alex Adami for five Read this in a Mexican accent Senor Dick and Senor Vito

Where can I submit the fan art For the show? Email or like Twitter or whatever Well you can always send stuff To biggestproblemshow At gmail.com Another great place Is to be in our discord channel, you can always send stuff to biggestproblemshow at gmail.com.

Another great place is to be on our Discord channel, which you can get access to by joining us at patreon.com slash biggestproblem or back.by slash biggestproblem. We've got a great fan art channel there. You can post it. Everybody will comment and tell you how great you are. You'll feel like part of a community. Kara, for a big $50. Kara, goddammit. Haven't had a call to prayer in a community. Yeah. Kara, for a big $50. Kara, goddammit. Haven't had a call to prayer in a while.

Happy Easter. No! The font type face. The Pokemon font type. Best font type of everything. Easy to read. Easy to read from all the way back on table. Do not have to touch cards.

Magic. Blends in with background too much. Have to flip over. Always have to flip over. Yu-Gi-Oh! Pedophile font. Wing-Ding, but a pedophile font. Home written in a pedophile font. Yu-Gi-Oh is for pedophiles a pedophile font. Almost written in a pedophile font.

Yu-Gi-Oh is for pedophiles. Worst font might as well be Comic Sans for the Yu-Gi-Oh. Shading is also bad, looks cheap. Text box is so tiny compared to art. It's all art, no text. You cannot read the Yu-Gi-Oh card. First of all, back of card! For Magic the Gathering, easy to see!

Five element of power, great! Pokemon! Says a Pokemon in English! English! Pocket a monster in a Japanese! Very culture! Yu-Gi-Oh look like a butt-sex asshole! Goat- sex spreading asshole Black hole on back of Yu-Gi-Oh card Some guy literally just used the swirl filter in Photoshop Look bad

Very bad branding on Yu-Gi-Oh Very bad Where Pokemon is best It's very 1998 The back of the Yu-Gi-Oh card All this design looks terrible on the Yu-Gi-Oh card Not even enough margin On Yu-Gi-Oh card Not even enough margin on Yu-Gi-Oh card

Not enough margin on back Too much margin on front Look like a knockoff Look like a knockoff I've been told trap cards don't even matter anymore What's a trap card? I have no idea Okay

I never played Yu-Gi-Oh Good ol' Yu-Gi-Oh Love that call to prayer Thank you, Kara Slenderman for two somethings Says salam alaikum, my brother Salam alaikum, my friend Lemon Trashy for two

Play Tyrone vs. the Cops VR It's pretty good No, is that on VR? The Sneedmans? I think I've seen people playing that Oh, wow, cool Carlisle P for a big 20 asks, will Dick be on the next PKA

episode? Yeah, I hope so. I had to call in sick. I'm supposed to argue with that Harley Epic Mealtimes guys. You know, that would have been good. I guess I'm doing it this Wednesday. Plug the fucking show. I'm going to do it straight out of the straight out of the horn.

Straight out of the chute. By the way, everything I'm saying is sponsored by Biggest Problem Straight out of the horn Straight out of the chute Say by the way Everything I'm saying Is sponsored by Biggest Problem Should let me come on And I'll call him an F slur Then be like Like the real one? I don't know

Don't say I don't know now Then you're gonna bitch out Definitely on the show I'll do blackface And you should do blackface And we can say Harley blackfaced us I heard somebody at

Creator Clash molested a kid Someone told me that That creator crash clash boxing event. Okay. Somebody ran some random person anonymously. A whistleblower said someone molested a child. How? Where? I don't say wouldn't specify.

And when I emailed them back, it bounced. I don't know if you're doing a bit. This is not a bet. I don't know. All right. We'll find out. Children were molested. Certainly.

Creator clash. That's what I heard. You heard it here first. No, that's what I heard't know. All right. We'll find out. Children were molested, certainly. Children were molested in Creator Clash. That's what I heard. You heard it here first. No, that's what I heard. Okay. So don't bring your... I wouldn't bring my kids there. Deluxe for 25 runs says,

Nazis are too cool, or how I made it clear that I never want to get a normal job again. Look, I want a normal job, but if I go to a job, I'm not going to lie to them. If on the job application it says, and how do you think about Nazis? I'm going to go, well, they're pretty cool looking guys.

Yeah. I don't approve of all the Jew killing, but other than that. I disapprove of it. I disapprove of it highly. JJ for two says, Vito. Highly? Don't do that, man. He tells me.

I did it in like a gay way It's okay You can flop it out there Vito Lie about the comic Being anti-woke What would Dick Masterson

Dick Masterson do Oh god Umpty Madu for five Vito if your campaign fails Please buy the shirt It will be narratively satisfying Yeah Change your life successfully

Created a compelling story Thank you Pete Oxenham for five. Biggest problem in the universe is artists who threaten to kill themselves. People don't buy their comic. $4.99 to the anti-green. I think you should do that. I think you should just flat out say like, I've had a rough life. I'm going to kill myself unless I sell

a thousand of these comics. I think you're not allowed to do that. I'll say it. As a joke. As a joke. If you don't buy a thousand people don't buy Vito's comic, he's going to kill himself. For real. As a joke. As a joke. If you don't buy, if a thousand people don't buy Vito's comic, he's going to kill himself. For real. I have like. As a joke, for real.

Look, I have 1,500 people on my mailing list. We have like 1,500 paid listeners to this show. I don't know how much crossover there is. Everyone will buy that. I would buy it. Just buy the comic. Yeah, or you'll kill yourself. Or I'll kill myself.

Buy the comic. Yeah, or you'll kill yourself. Or I'll kill myself. It's a bit. It's a bit. It's a bit. Or is it? Anyway, all right, go up a little bit.

Me04120, you can try and sell a non-Culture War product veto, but I think now the comic has to be fairly woke or anti-woke to grow. Yeah. Well, yeah. I was going to make a promo where I'm just like, well, here's the comic and what it's about. And then I was like, literally no one will react to this. Oh, like just a synopsis? Yeah. So I'm like, okay, I will talk about what is on my mind.

I do believe certain things. No, you have to take a tip from the Mario movie. Like, they made that trailer with Peach acting like that to provoke a response. Sure. And it's not lying, because the footage is in the movie, and it's totally fine. No, and I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to say, if you buy my comic, it's going to smash Marvel and blah, blah, blah. But I do believe that, like, right now, if you genuinely care, if you go to smash Marvel and blah, blah, blah. But I do believe that like right now, if you genuinely care,

if you go to the movies and go, this movie sucks. And then you look at who wrote it. And it was like a bunch of weird ladies who got hired with like no experience whatsoever. They're running all your favorite franchises. You got to go, okay. The only way to fix this. And I keep saying this is like, we need to make independent media.

Okay. Yeah. The difference is if you dress that's the problem I have with Eric July is that we can create an independent alternative and then the mainstream will go oh those guys are making a shit ton of money let's like just give yeah let's you know work with them or whatever else like these guys are saying like

no fuck those guys we're gonna create our own like whatever and I'm like no like you might do okay but like at the end of the day you don't have the machine in place Disney owns fucking everything yeah literally we are at the point where we just have to convince them look a bunch of psychopath

activists have told you this is the way to make movies and TV shows yeah they're wrong like let's you know you make a movie, make a comic better than Eric July's thing. The pitch. Yeah. His like whole,

we're going to take down. Marvel is retarded. It's completely comic book. Seems like it sucks. Like no one has said anything good about it that I know of. I would be fine with him making his own comic. If it wasn't like, again,

we're going to be a new mainstream and establish a parallel economy they own everything they own the means of distribution they own the movie theaters in which the adaptation of your comic would eventually appear right like you can't buy the fucking movie theaters you have to look at the system and go okay i just need to show the system like hey look i made 20 million dollars and the going to go, shit, I want some of that. Yeah. Like, that's it. Okay? You have to show them that, like, this is the kind of stuff people want.

You can't just be, like, a stupid asshole and say, no, no, we're going to be the next Disney. Daily Wire Plus is going to make a bajillion dollars. It's like, shut up. Don't be stupid. Hi, Maddie. I love you. Maddie's a good dog. Okay.

I'll do a deal for five. Racism exists because poop is brown and pee is yellow. Maddie, Maddie. I love you. Maddie's a good dog. I'll do a deal for five. Racism exists because poop is brown and pee is yellow. Maddie, come here. We need GMO food that dyes poop so racism will be fixed. Biggest problem, pee, pee, poo, poo. Justin Martinez for 10. Dick needs to do more veto impressions. That was hilarious.

Please don't. Is it the whites thing? I think so. I just want to make a white comic book. What's so wrong with that? We just need to show them that there is a market for this stuff.

I'm just tired of lesbians and black people in comics. I don't know what to do. I mean, I don't know. Kicks Mechanic for 20. Hey guys, I came here from Destiny. Whoa.

Wow, thanks. Love the channel. Dick, please keep Vito as guest host. God damn it. Yeah, I'm really excited To be the guest host Of the show

Oh thanks Thanks for having me As a guest See who's here next week Yeah thanks for all the laughs Thank you Kix Mechanic Me 4120

For two Can we get an AI generated Careless whisper cover I have no idea What that means Jack Rockstar Maybe For $4.99

Excited For tear elements To be in the next Yu-Gi-Oh! Master Duel expansion. Aren't we all? That's it. Somebody send me some of that new magic set that just came out. Which one is that?

March of the Machine. I got to get that. No, the Lord of the Rings ones don't come out for a little while. One last super chat. You just got Vito. Roll it back. Dick missed it. Where?

Which one? I'm excited. AI-generated careless whisper cover. Next, tear elements. You just got Ga it. Where? Which one? I was excited. AI generated careless whisper cover. Next, tear elements. You just got caught? Where? What is it? Where did I say?

Thanks for all the laughs. Hold on. Let me go to the live chat. Where was it? Which one was it? Who got me? Who got it? Missed it again.

He said the thing. Excited for a tear element to be in the next no yugioh master dude where was it i don't get it maybe it was a different it must have been a different one he said the thing he said it got him i'll buy some i'll buy some stickers got him. Me says he got you. Screw. He said TBF. Okay, go back. Wait. I don't know how far to go back. To do. Alright. You can try to sell a non-culture but nowadays I think the comic

has to be fairly well. You did get it. There you go. I suck cocks. There you go. There you go. You got one. You got one, got one You monsters I'm gonna fucking kill myself And all of you

If you don't go to superkiller.org And sign up for the mailing list I want to thank all our biggest supporters Don't forget join the show Patreon.com slash biggest problem Back by slash biggest problem Dick with the dick show.com Superkiller.org

So many great places to enjoy us Been putting up a lot of videos on Vito 2 Come on by youtube.com slash Vito 2 T W O We're gonna have a lot of fun See my Mario review See everything And we'll be back on Friday With another

Biggest problem In the universe Goodbye Go fuck yourself