The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 88

Episode Date: May 6, 2023

Drip Pricing, Subway Performers, May the 4th, Bryan Singer

Everybody's looking forward to the week-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e- There's clearly some updated version. Are you sure? I don't think so. I swear in Friday, it's like two of her choruses and then just cuts to some guy driving. He's like, it's Friday. Everybody having a Friday. And it's just like some random, like, cool black guy. I don't think there's a cool, a random cool black guy in that song. I'm going to look up the music video real quick. Don't look it up. We're live already. That's fine.

You're going to spoil the banter With your googling With your obsessive googling I just want to remember You need to know that you're right If Friday had a black guy Rapping like midway through it You gonna search for that?

I don't know Did Friday have a black guy? A cool black guy as you say? Yeah right here Look there's clearly A cool rapping black guy Oh shit Wait isn't that Usher

No it's not Usher I think that's Usher It's just a guy I swear I bet a hundred dollars Yeah the original version Of Friday Night Live That's Usher

Look put it up We're trying to get it on camera That's Usher Hold on 100% that's Usher We were listening to Friday And for some reason Me and Dick are arguing

About whether or not A black guy shows up Part way through the song Bro that's Usher We were listening to Friday And for some reason Me and Dick are arguing About whether or not A black guy shows up Part way through the song Bro that's Usher And raps I'm a huge Usher fan I would recognize him Demonetized immediately

I recognize Usher's jams It's not Usher That's Usher Who else would it be? Why would Usher agree to appear In some teenage girl's Sweet 16 music video? He's a pedophile. Well, that's true.

But. Alright, are you ready? Yeah! Wow. I don't even know if I'm going to be able to do this whole show. I'm sorry. I'm going to kill myself. You're like me like two weeks ago or last week or whatever it was. I am. Yeah. I'm going to kill myself. You're in a much worse situation than I was. Nah, you'll be good.

I'm going to fund my own comic called Connecting My Plumbing to the Sewer Man. Copper Pipe Replacement Man. I wish I had copper. I could sell that. I got cast iron. Well, you could replace it with updated

pipes, right? That's not my problem. I don't know anything about that. Pipes aren't the problem. It's that there's no sewer line connection to my house. Sewer line manifestation, man. Dick's plumbing problems are going to make this show bankrupt, is what I have learned.

I'm honestly not even ready to bring it in this week. I know you're not. I'm too upset. I asked Dick before the show. I'm like, oh, you're probably going to do like a fun sewer problem. Oh, wait. Did I not put the key in right? Let's see. Point is, guys.

She comes in and points at a phone saying you're not on the air. It's like, why are you? Why don't you just say it then? Why are you? I don't want to interrupt the show, which is currently not happening. Yeah, she could have just. She's trying to be tactful. It's a good thing to practice.

What do you mean? We did that thing where we didn't set the show live again. But now we're live and we're here. I was probably streaming to my channel. As I was saying, my Kickstarter comic of guy who needs money to connect his plumbing to the city sewer even though his realtor told him that they had a public sewer connection and the guy he hired specifically to come out and inspect the sewer line said it was fine yeah isn't actually connected to the city sewer line that's my comic that's your comic i think I feel like you could Maybe workshop that title A little bit Oh you think so?

I don't get it Oh oh Slash I'm gonna kill myself That's the short name of it Don't you have legal recourse In that situation though? I did three years ago

I don't now It runs out Like they can just lie to you About your house It's called Fucking up They can fuck up. Yeah, but if they fuck up

and it ends up, I think you might have, I don't know. You know what? I'm not going to give advice on a situation I know nothing about. It doesn't matter. I'm going to die.

Yeah, right. We're all going to die. No, I'm going to die immediately, soon. Soon. I'm going to dig a trench in front of the house to connect it to the city sewer

and then I'm just going to jump in like the triple indie from back to school. I don't even want to, you know what? I don't I'm just going to jump in like the triple indie from back to school. I don't even want to talk to you about it. Because I know you don't care because your stupid comic book sold out. So you don't care about my problems. You're so happy.

I care. I want you and your sewer stuff. It's all going to be great. We're all going to figure it out. You know? No I don't know Well, you know what It's an investment in the house

You're not even like a little bit frowning You're just so giddy about your gay comic book That you don't care that I'm I mean, I'm probably It's probably gonna end up costing me $500,000 No Minimum No

Probably I'll just Knock the whole house down I need super chats For my plumbing Yeah Well I think that You know what

We've got a great community here The show is growing And I'm sure we all Support you and your This is why people Don't like you Cause you can't empathize Like this is a people don't like you because you can't empathize like this is a horrible thing that happened and you just can't even feel a little bit bad for me

you can't i see it on you you can't you just you think it's funny i don't you don't think it you think it's funny in like a surface level way that you don't even give a shit about the specifics of it no i i do feel bad it's like it feel bad. It's like, what can I do? I don't want you to feel bad. I want you to empathize with me, but you can't. You physically can't. Well, I'm not a homeowner,

so I can't empathize with her. It's like, yeah, you buy it. Because you're jealous that I have a house, so you're happy. That's why. You're jealous that I own a house, and so you're happy that this is happening. That's the first thing you said

when you walked in the door. Oh, the joys of being a homeowner. Like, you're rubbing it in on me for owning a home. You're happy that this happened to me. It's a little bit of a sour grape situation, you know, where, like, I'll never afford a home. So when people who own

homes experience, you know, horrible, costly fixes like this, I get to go, well, at least I got that going for me. So, uh, voted up sour grapes, I would say. It's just like Eric July. You were bitter that he did a comic.

So you attacked him for no reason. No, no, no. I'm, I'm, I want everything to work out. It's going to work out. You know, we're going to get it figured out. work out it's gonna work out you know we're gonna get it figured out i really hate how happy and self-assured you are this episode because you your stupid comic book got funded immediately it's the only reason why you didn't learn anything or go through any personal growth you just got a bunch of money so you're in a much better mood it's like So worthless I love that It is true

It's like Nothing changed You just got a bunch of money Yeah For your dumb idea I learned that I have supporters And friends

And family Who care about me You know And I've experienced That's all dependent On just money For you In a way

But you know I've experienced A great personal growth I think Well I'm not Doug And I think You know, I've experienced a great personal growth, I think. Well, I'm not, Doug. And I think, you know what, this whole, I'm so sorry that you, the homeowner, are experiencing this trauma with your leaky pipes or whatever it is, you know. You're not.

I don't believe you. I am. I don't want you to. I don't even want to talk to you about it. I don't want you to, you know, experience financial hardship. So the best thing we can do is keep doing the show, keep growing the fan base, and everything's going to work out. Let's do it. Let's do it. I need money.

My super problem. I need money. Super chat. More to show. Problem. And subscribe to my show. I need it directly. Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe.

The only show that ranks every problem in the universe from Crowder beating his wife to airplane boarding Strive. I'm your host, Dick Masterson. Joining me as always is Vito Giswaldi. Hey, Dick. Is successful Kickstarterer, Indiegogo-er successful? Now you're one of those guys that did their own comic book.

Do you know that? Well, a lot of guys do it. I still have a lot. Too many, some would say. There's a lot of room left to grow and a lot of things left to do. Well, you're not satisfied with your double funding now you need i saw you say that on twitter like now i need to sell twice now i need a thousand

backers well i want i want to sell i said that previously i would like to sell a thousand copies of the comic that would be great but we have enough money now to make it and you know it's we now just like eric july well i have there's an artist there's gonna be a color guy uh you know who i'm talking to that's like a little team we got here and let's be clear all the money it doesn't like just go into like a magic fun fund i gotta pay all these guys doesn't go into a giant sinkhole under your house like it does for me indiegogo is gonna going to take 5%. Taxes are going to take whatever percent. Whose fault is that?

Taxes. You voted for that. That's right. But I would say we've reached a level of profitability. So that's very good. It's not a life-changing amount of money, but it's moving in the right direction. No, but it's a life-changing project. You funded a comic book that you've wanted to since you were like three years old, it said, or something like that. That's not what I said. You've wanted to rip off the boys since you were a little child. I've wanted to since you were like three years old it said or something like that you've wanted to rip off the boys since you were a little since before i think the boys even existed uh i'll say this look you know i want it to be a thing

i want it to be a thing where like i can keep doing this yeah so. So we'll see. But this might be the one-time pity party, and then I go, okay. Oh, God. Here we fucking go. Here's issue number two. Already. Everyone goes, well, I already bought one of these. I'm not going to buy another one, you know? You see how unempathetic you are?

I'm sitting on a cesspit, and I have to dig up my entire house and reconnect it. I spent a lot of time working on this thing. It didn't just appear Out of the ether There is so much Of my work That has gone into This stupid thing

Probably more than I actually should have Because I look at Everybody else's comic And they're all dog shit I'm like I gotta put in Zero effort

But instead I tried To make something good Okay And I've exhausted Countless fucking hours Of my life To make something good You're saying you're bitter

About the success too I'm not bitter I'm just saying Yeah A lot has gone into this You put in too much work fucking hours of my life to make something good. You're saying you're bitter about the success, too. I'm not bitter. I'm just saying. Yeah. You're putting too much work for these filthy plebs that can't appreciate it. Not that exactly, but there are some other comic creators who I look at their campaigns and I go, I don't think they're putting in nearly as much effort. I'm not going to name names.

Who are you talking about? Are you talking about Razor Fist? No, I'm not talking about that. I think Razor Fist's comic looks pretty good, actually. So I'm not going to say that about Razor Fist. Okay. Who are you talking about? Are you talking about Razor Fist? No, I'm not talking about that. I think Razor Fist's comic looks pretty good, actually. So I'm not going to say that about Razor Fist. Okay, who do you think is... I will say the campaigns, though, it's like I could have done a lot less in terms of like... I like had

all these like bonus items and like graphics or whatever. Yeah, how are you going to ship those stuffed animals that you have? They're going to be fine. They'll squish down a little bit. But you need to have like a minimum order, don't you? Yeah, well, I'm going to order at least a hundred of each of them And then I'll just have them sitting around Okay

But I've already sold like thirty of each I think Really Wow Well cause they come in that The three hundred dollar tier comes with them So that's part of it And I sold like nineteen of those Can you stick a fleshlight in one

Can you not desecrate my character Well I mean Very important Charac is one of which is based on my deceased friend, you piece of shit. Who did that? Who what? Who did that? Yeah.

Yeah, well, we're not putting a... Who's having a self-insert? That's true. I didn't have to do that. It just felt very nice. Anyway, no, it's gonna be great. I'll make like a hundred... I want... Here's the thing. You're lucky I don't train an AI on her to be great. I'll make like a hundred. I want to stay. Here's the thing. You're lucky I don't train an AI on her. Stop it.

I mean, you could. She was a good looking lady. What do you call it? I'm a simple man. All I want, I want to make a bunch of that stuff. So even though I make more than I sell here, I want to be that guy who sits at a little booth at the comic convention and just twiddles his thumbs and people walk past and I go, hey, why don't you take a look at this thing? And I go, oh, I'm more into Spider-Man.

And then I walk away and go, well, I'll get him next time. You want to be that? I'm going to be that old, pathetic weirdo making his, I'm going to be Ken Penders, the former artist and writer of the Sonic the Hedgehog comics, who now sits at his little booth and people come by. I saw a video of guys like, so did you invent Sonic the Hedgehog? He's like, no, but, you know, I kind of expanded on the lore of Knuckles and his family. Yeah, there's a Holocaust. Knuckles had a Holocaust. That guy, I don't know if you know the Ken Penders lore, the guy who sued Sonic.

He sued Archie Comics for the rights to all these weird Sonic headshot creators. Yeah Characters he created any one and Archie comics was like well fuck We now we have to cancel all the comics because this guy owns all of them and he didn't just let him do it Well now he's creating his own You know a kid never using all these characters that he owns, but he can't call them You know, he can't use the actual Sonic characters That he owns But he can't call them You know He can't use the actual Sonic characters

IP stuff man Fuck It's so fucking dumb Yeah it's very interesting This jackass Stop Not only is he a jackass But he seems like

Mentally unstable No shit He's like Shocker He's like really weird He's like the The first vampire That just infected

All these weirdos With sonic shit He really did He made a bunch He turned He ruined a lot of people's lives Like a fucking Earworm mind virus

With his weird sonic shit Of this goofy Fucking run fast And that's my That's my stupid dream Is I want to be The weirdo At the comic convention

People go Hey there's that Vito guy That guy used to be Funny on YouTube Now he just makes weird Self insert comics I'm not going to mention cuties In your fantasy

Well it'll probably I'll have that There'll be something there Can I give you a bit of advice? What? Dream bigger No Why not

I don't wanna Why not Put yourself on a panel I'm going to have a little Why not be walking around The convention And somebody says, hey, aren't you that guy? No, no, no. Why be at a booth that you paid for to be snubbed? I want to be the weird, obscure loser.

Didn't Maddox used to do all these conventions? Didn't he have a little booth or something? He still did as far as I, unless he gave it up. Yeah, didn't he have one at, he had one at the big one. Yeah, he was subletting it though, which is not, you're not allowed to do or they'll take it. Yeah. I know he does it, that guy, the pickle guy, what's his name? Roger Parr.

Is that the guy who was on The Biggest Problem at one point? Yeah, he was, yeah. Yeah, I used to like that guy. I met him at Comic-Con years ago. Well, congratulations on all your success. Yeah, I'm going to be a dumb internet comic loser At a comic convention now Now we're gonna have to review it

You can review it I think it's gonna be good I'm gonna do a side, like a review I mean, I tried to send you the script I literally said, hey Dick Here's the most important creative project of my life Oh yeah, I didn't read that Will you read the script and give me some notes?

And I'm like, I got other shit to do I meant to I have a to-do list and read Vito's quote, read Vito's gay script is on it. I guess I could check that. I could still have to read it. Well, we're still...

I knew you would change it. I'm not reading ten versions of a script. I'll read the last one. We're editing it a little. If you read the last one, there's nothing to change. No, because I'm going to come in with that Special little twist It's too late to change anything One little twist at the end

We're at the back half of the script we're doing the last You know 28 pages or 24 pages Whatever it's going to be it would be great I'd love to Does it feel like a lot of stuff happens in the script Or is it like plotting Like does it feel like stuff's going on? You know, let's go.

Let's keep things moving. Right. It's like good. Is it like that? Is it good? Yeah. I like it. What do you call it?

It's a better answer than I usually get for that question. I'll say this. It's, you know, a lot of it is there. You have to do a lot of setup. It's like the origin story. I'm trying to like explain to people how the universe works. Okay. So some of the pages, you know, you got to cover some of that and who these people are.

Yeah. So it's not like a fucking globetrotting adventure. It's very much like a focused one of kind of thing. They did that in Aladdin though. And he's just like, I can't kill people. Can't make you fall in love. And he can't fucking wish for more wishes. That was one scene.

Yeah, but you have the built-in people understand how a genie works, you know? Not really. People are, they might be seeing that for the first time in China. They're like, what the fuck? I don't know what I am. I think it's great. I think it's a perfect little, it's like if it was a pilot episode of a television show, it would be perfect. It's got everything you need.

Perfect? Perfect. Wow. All right. Oh, there's like little mysteries we set up and flashbacks and you can fuck the stuffed animals you can fuck the stuffed animals that's all anyone cares about all right i'm just taking out my plumbing issues on indiegogo.com super killer number one currently at 26 000 raised oh my god that's like half my

that's probably how much the city will charge me to connect to their sewer that they legally require me to connect to. Well, why don't you make... That they don't have to do anything for and that's been built for 70 years. Why don't you do a project? You can write a... I'll do a project called Killdozer 2. Where I take my car and fill it up with bullets.

I'm going to go to Brandon Herrera's house and get all of his guns and weld them to it and put them on like a dread... Actually, I'm going to build a centripetal force machine and just load it up, load it up with nails,

spin around, and I'm going to have a little map and I'm just going to go, I'm going to touch on a screen like fucking Jarvis. I'm going to play like fucking Melon Slasher, that game, and I touch on a screen and it'svis I'm gonna play like fucking Melon Slasher that game and I touch on a screen and it's just gonna unleash

the pellets and the screws and the nuts in that direction and I'm just gonna drive around LA and people say how's he doing both at the same time like wow I don't know he must have played a lot of Smash TV when he was growing up I'm just gonna do donuts

I'm gonna have to do donuts. I'm crowdfunding. I'm going to have a big whirring thing in the back. Like a Doppler radar. That's going to spray death in every direction. Probably cost me, it'll be cheaper than connecting to the sewer. Probably cost me like $17,000 at the end of the day. I'll get an old decommissioned helicopter motor and stick it in there and just feed nuts and bolts.

I've got a humdee boat. How many bolts you got? Load them up. Give me every bolt you got. Give me a sheet of sheet metal. Just slant it a little bit into the intake. That's what I'm going to do. So you can currently crowdfund my creative endeavors or Dick's murder machine.

Isis, if you're still around, hit me up. I need money. I need money. To destroy. Anything you got. Plutonium, whatever you got. The City of California Sewer Commission. I'll chew on a dog.

Yee-haw. That's a deep cut. If anybody recognizes that, I'll kiss you on the mouth. So Dick's going to take out the Water and Power Commission or whatever the hell manages. Oh, no. I'm not stopping. I'm just going. All right.

Well, we'll get that one set up as well. When I say kill myself, I mean this reality as I've defined it solipsistically. We're going to figure out how to get your sewer problems taken care of. And when that fails, then you can— Maybe Super Killer could figure it out. Yeah, maybe Superkiller can murder some of these bureaucracy, these politicians. Okay, let's do a...

Who is the winner? Relying on your friends, number one. Number one, Tony Fragg, the movie, screwed me over. Though I will say, Tony is helping me out. He just put up a new episode On his channel Again relying Although I screwed him this time

Oh good Because Tony was like What should we do For my show Hack the Movies Which normally gets You know like 30,000

50,000 views And I'm like Let's review an anime And it's now like One of his lowest watched Videos ever Anime sucks So go

But I thought it was good Go watch me and Tony review Evangelion 1.11 Fuck Christ It's a great episode It's great The problem is YouTube doesn't push stuff out Like I want the anime kids to find it If the anime kids come in

Remember after one of the shows When we took you out with this autistic girl All you guys did the whole drinks Was talk about Evangelion I don't remember this Where did we go Kind of some shitty bar

In Pasadena Well I love talking About Evangelion I can't fucking believe this It's a very It's a very good topic Go watch that episode Over on Hack the Movies channel

You know what you didn't get About the The relying on your friends Is that you can't Stop doing it Yeah They're like crack Like you rely on them

And then they fuck you over Yeah cause they're free Yeah And they're always there When you should just Pay someone But you won't No

Cause you always go Well they've definitely Figured it out from now Even now I'm like I could probably Trust Tony again He's not gonna Fuck it up again

And I know he will I should've had a friend inspect my sewer line. Just eyeball it. Couldn't be worse. Hypocrisy is number two. That's not a problem. No one's ever experienced that. Inefficient airplane boarding, number three, and $1,000 posters.

I don't know how that's last. I think it's just a problem that a lot of people don't have to deal with. A lot of people don't have to deal with cancer either, okay? And that's a big problem. Well, you deal, you know, with the effects of cancer on other people. I don't. For you. Oh, I guess I do.

Yeah. Well, there you go. So, but with the $1,000 posters, it just gives us something to laugh at. It only hurts me So everybody loves it I get it Like this sewer situation I guess it's just

My pipes don't work Oh They work They're just connected to nothing Why'd you buy a house in California anyway? What a fucking death trap that is I'm gonna blow I'm gonna blow my stack on

The anti-California Fucking cute assholes Do they keep hitting you with that? That's what you get for living in California Bro, what happens in your fucking basement Has ice ever hurt any plumbing ever? Will you fucking riddle me this What's nice as lice

And freezes in your pipes It's ice, shit I'm just gonna say the f slur uh instant ace says was told military is loaded early because see this is how military guys talk they start with like they don't have like uh the proper intro to us was told military is loaded early because in case the flight is overbooked or or uh booked uniformed military members traveling with orders must be boarded and cannot be removed unless they commit a crime. A crime like murder?

Which is their job. That was a weird addendum there. Unless they, I mean, I would assume anyone who commits a crime gets removed from an aircraft. But thanks for that extra bit of knowledge. Patty says fat people should be allowed on the plane before everyone else.

Vito, fat people shouldn't be allowed to fly in the first place. All right. All right. We got to get, we got places to go. Fat people make this country run. El Dranzo says,

the hypocrite argument Dick made was the same that a, that a guy a few episodes ago sent where if you don't live your life, have your life put together, you shouldn't comment on problems or on other people's choices I think it was something Jordan Peterson said you both disagreed

and said it was stupid that just because your life is a mess it doesn't mean you can't say what you think about certain topics I agreed

but your argument here is on the same okay yeah thank you yeah but he lived that advice yeah we just and he's still out there

saying like yeah be Christian. Don't have sex before marriage and pick a good Christian wife. Yeah, even though he did that. Did you do that? Yeah. And he fucked everything up. How's your marriage? Sucks. Okay, so then So stop giving that advice. Like, it's one thing if you're like a homeless guy, you're like, you know what, kids?

You should stay in school. And you go, oh, I can't. Don't listen to him, kids. Like, did you stay in school? No. That's why I messed up. Okay, I understand now. It's true. If Crowder hard pivots and goes, you know what, I was wrong, and then we go, okay, well, you're not a hypocrite anymore.

Do whatever you want. Diego, no, I don't care about that. The sinking feeling of knowing Vito's going to shitpost too hard and people will kill his Indiegogo. Oh. I already had one guy vaguely threaten to report me for, I don't know what, being a bad guy. Yeah. I fucking hate reporters.

Both kinds. But it seems like Indiegogo likes me. I think they put me on the front page. I saw that. Yeah. I was very worried about whether or not I should put it on Kickstarter or Indiegogo, but at least Indiegogo

seems to have been like, hey, this is kind of cool and promoted it a little bit. Yeah, that's good. I think it worked out. Reverend Scott says, I'm just here to shamelessly take credit

for the boycott of the week stinger that was played five times without mentioning that very important fact. That's the boycott of the week. Thank you, Reverend Scott.

It's a fantastic stinger. Although people were torn on the segment. Real Cool Guy says the show's too top-heavy with terrible bits that are pointless. They're not pointless. They're fun. Big Z says if you started riding the bicycle when Dick offered it to you, you wouldn't need to worry about your fellow passengers sighing in exasperation when they see you coming. That's for you, you wouldn't need to worry about your fellow passengers sighing in exasperation when they see you coming.

That's for you, I think. I'm taking Ozempic or whatever the hell. It's all going to work out. Roven says, it's funny you both criticize Crowder diehards as a problem because they're laughably incompetent to see the bigger picture. And yet, Dick Masterson, in quotes, I think everybody knows that's not my real name, clling to anti-women discourse like it's funny. Like it's funny. Yeah, nobody ever laughed at a woman joke. I'm not clinging to it.

I'm wallowing in it. It's the only thing I enjoy. After 50 years of the same jokes, probably 10,000 years. They've been funny after 10 billion years of that joke. Yes, it's still funny. I was in ten billion years of that joke. Yes. It's still fun I bet that cavemen were doing this joke And Vito relishes in sucking BBC like it's martyrdom big black cock. No

He has no and a whole why do Wait, why do I suck at BBC? What does that have to do? I don't know. Well, he's a racist homosexual imagining that you're blowing black guys. I think if anything we've discussed him a little too racist on this show. You're the racist one. Both of them are so thrilled to dunk on Crowder. Oh, okay.

Because he's an idiot. Did you pretend to care about girl sports? No. Women in prison? No. Abuse in general? Sort of. It's a lot.

Me, I mean. This guy's upset, huh? I'm like, I care about it academically. Yeah. Not unless billionaires like Johnny Depp, who jerks off to his own. Jesus Christ. Jerks off to his own voice. We're the victim.

You have no right to critique Crowder abusing his wife. Well, I've got to... I like that you admitted to it. Yeah, okay, that's fine then. Critique Crowder, who you admit abused his wife. Can we have like schizo retard comment of the week? You wouldn't care if it was Ralph. Oh, I see. Okay.

Or any of you one you like, but some opportunity to chastise anyone who overlaps with your audience. They get full commentary. You're a pathetic grift this episode. Also in its own paragraph. Do you want to hear

the rest of it? I feel like I know where it's going We get this We get this anytime on an episode We go Oh that Jordan Peterson Oh that Tim Pool or whatever There's always one guy who goes

Well actually Tim Pool is currently helping to fight the war Against And I'm like Okay Well Sorry we bad mouthed your dad Or your older brother or whatever

I hope you can still get an erection To beat off with or fuck your wife with or whatever you're doing with it. Those parasocial relationships are disturbingly strong. They're sick. But I would like to remind everyone who has purchased Super Killer that I love you and you are like a son to me. Thank you. That's very, uh, it's very uncomfortable.

Some woman told me on Twitter, like, yeah, I think he fucked up, but we don't need to me. Thank you. That's very uncomfortable. Some woman told me on Twitter like, yeah, I think he fucked up, but we don't need to ruin his life over. His life's fine. He's going to get more popular. Didn't he just get like a hundred million dollars from Rumble or whatever? People are trash and they support this.

They support it because they're all abusive monsters. They're doing the same thing he's doing. They're going, all right, he's just like me. I also yell at my wife for no reason. Yeah. All the guys who didn't know about it are like, oh, shit, yeah, fuck my wife. I hate my wife. Yeah, let me tune in.

I'm gay, too. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I hate gay people, and I'm gay. What else? That's all of you. You're all like that. It's a way to get popular is to just be an asshole. Okay, what else? That's all of you. You're all like that. It's a way to get popular, is to just be an asshole.

Okay, what do you got? I have a very exciting segment I like to call Vote It On. Vote on the problems on the fucking website or I'll kill your family. Yeah! Yes! Perfect. That was Wow Fucking perfect

Wow Perfect Who sent that one in? I don't know Because they didn't put their name in the title That's the one thing you forgot to do In the file name Go ahead

Well Dick has voted up my favorite segment Where we talk about past problems And put them in a modern context I have a very important update To a problem from episode five. Can you believe it's been that long? Dick, that problem was the N-word defense. Oh, yeah.

Well, as you brought up in that episode, a certain man accosted a bar patron claiming that man had used the N-word and therefore. And you could say whatever, you could do whatever you want to. You could do whatever you want to. You do whatever you want. Well, a Florida court has ruled that Joe Schilling, former professional MMA artist, Muay Thai world champion kickboxer, acted in lawful self-defense and is immune from lawsuit under Florida law. Because he said the guy said the N-word? Well, they didn't say specifically that's why. But under Florida stand your ground law, Joe Schilling, these allegations of battery and negligence will no longer be eligible for a lawsuit.

On June 27th. So he got away with it. He got away with it. N-word. Well, he claims that, according to this, Schilling saw the other man dip his shoulder and move in to strike. However, the speed of Schilling's hands allowed him to defend himself with two quick strikes, knocking Balboa out and neutralizing the threat against him. What? And let's be real.

Was the judge black? Did not check the race of the judge. Well, I think it's important. It's very possible. I mean. Was the race of the judge. Well, I think it's important. It's very possible. I mean. Was the judge a woman? That's very possible. Point is.

What kind of society is this? He heard this man use the N-word. I mean, that predicates the fact. Well, that's what he says that he heard it. Well, that could have led to anything. Actually, I think he said that the waitress told him he said it. Wow. Why would a waitress lie, Dick?

Woman. Yeah. Well, this has ended. The N-word defense was at least successful in some way. This man is not facing. So it's like a precedent now. Yeah, it's a precedent. Yeah.

I could just go out and kick someone's ass. Yeah, he said the N-word. Somebody told me he did. Well, it helps if you're in Florida with the stand your ground stuff. What the hell does that have to do with anything? You're in a bar. The point is, I thought it was very...

Do you have to get to court and then the first person goes, he said the N-word, guys. He said the N-word. He said the N-word. Look at him. He did say it first that you said the N-word, so I'm going to have to give it to him.

I'm going to have to go with him. One, two, three, he said the N-word, so I'm going to have to give it to him. I'm going to have to go with him. One, two, three, he said the N-word. Not it. The future of court cases is just going to be deep fake footage. Try and convince them. Well, here he is at his daughter's birthday party. Clearly saying the N-word. Yeah.

This man is a snake and deserves everything he gets. I'm shocked. He really laid that guy out in the video. For no reason. For like nothing. The guy was just dancing around. Yeah, and then the guy looked at him and then he's like, literally knocked him out. Well, Dick, next time you hear someone use the

N-word, know that you too can be like Joe Schilling. I'm just going to run. Oh, shit. You said the N-word? They can do anything they want to you. I'm out of here. The N-word defense is currently Problem number six on the board With 1,636 upvotes And I have a feeling after this

It might be going even higher Okay Hit me with that stinger one more time Vote on the problem On the fucking website Or I'll kill your family Amazing Follow it up, Dick One more Celebrity voice actors Amazing. Follow it up, Dick.

One more. Celebrity voice actors from episode 11. Yeah. We heard the news that our favorite fat cat is returning to the theaters, Garfield. And Dick, who do you think will be voicing this famous Jim Davis comic strip character? I'll give you a hint. That lady. No, it's the-

That lesbian from Netflix. No, no, no. It's way more obvious than that. He's everywhere. Chris Pratt will be Garfield. He's the Lego man. He's Mario. And now he's fucking Garfield.

In addition to that, the Star Wars. Maybe God is real. Yeah. Who else would fuck my house over like this? But God. addition to that the star god is real yeah he's got everything fuck my house over like this but god not only that but samuel l jackson will be introduced as a brand new character to the garfield universe garfield's father vick vick yeah we're getting a new garfield character the father of garfield as played by samuel L. Jackson for some inexplicable reason. Guys, the world of voice acting has been destroyed. It's just Chris Pratt and Samuel L. Jackson.

I've watched both of those movies. I really hate this. Yeah, I really don't want it to be Chris Pratt. I want it to be anyone else. Tale of Two Kitties was great. Was it? I never saw that one. I saw both of them.

Back to back. I've watched them. Perfect. Well, guys, Celebrity Voice Actors is only at number 106. So why don't you head on over and... Vote on the problem on the fucking website or I'll kill your family. Vote it out. Yes.

Just kill me. Don't kill my family. Yeah. Well, I'm the winner, Dick. Just kill me. Don't kill my family. Yeah. Well, I'm the winner, Dick. You sure are. Which leads me into my problem. Mm-hmm. A problem that actually occurred just yesterday.

A very special holiday. Is it a holiday to celebrate our veterans or our beloved families or the spirit of humanity? No, it is a holiday to celebrate fucking Star Wars and toys and merchandise garbage. May the 4th, Dick, is the biggest problem in the universe. Now, in May of 2019, the California legislature officially recognized May the 4th as Star Wars Day. Isn't that exciting? Assemblyman Tom Daley of the state's 69th district

wanted to celebrate the opening of that stupid Galaxy's Edge at Disneyland, bringing jobs to the state and who the fuck cares. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh boy, we need a whole holiday for that. For Disneyland. That's great. Here's the point, is uh

Star Wars Day is every fucking day. whole holiday for Disneyland. That's great. Here's the point. Star Wars Day is every fucking day. Every day of my life, I have to hear about Star Wars. You especially. Me especially, but I think even the average person, everybody's going, you've been watching The Mandalorian? You see what's going on with Baby Yoda? There's always

some new Star Wars shit coming out. Some new Star Wars video game out some New Star Wars video game Some new Star Wars TV show So why the fuck do we need a special day To be Star Wars day all you guys do Is talk about fucking Star Wars all The time it's becoming Insufferable yeah it's a whole

Subculture yeah Star Wars was kind of cool when you Didn't think about it every day Or even once a year it would be like Every once in a while you go oh yeah Star Wars was kind of cool when you didn't think about it every day Or even once a year It would be like every once in a while you'd go Oh yeah, Star Wars, I remember Star Wars And there was like a tomb of like Extended universe knowledge that only super weirdos knew

And you could kind of, like you could tap into a little bit And you're like, wow, that's fucked up Did you know Chewbacca got crushed by a moon? And you're like, oh, well, that's fascinating. Okay, that's cool. Yeah, you know, you might play like a video game and be like, oh, that's cool. There's like some extended lore there. Yeah.

Now it's just too much. There's too much fucking Star Wars. It's all the magic has been said. I hate to use the word magic because I don't know if that's the way to term it. But the fun of it, when it was like, oh, my's gonna be a new star wars movie we haven't had one of those in forever how exciting is that to return to this thing now it's just there's a new fucking star wars thing every five minutes they're constant there's nothing magical about it at all and people talk about it like their friend did it that's the most annoying part about star wars

yeah did you see the new season? Yeah, I mean, I think that Jon, I think that Da'Fab went pretty good. He's not your friend. Filoni's like, you know, doing a pretty good job with it. You know, Gina Carotta, she might be coming back. Good. I hope you're dead before that happens.

Gina gets her job back. I hope she has some spicy Holocaust memes to tweet this time. I really can has some spicy Holocaust memes to tweet this time. I really can't fucking wait for that to happen for you. Do you have any news about, like, the New York Knicks that I need to know about, too? Yeah, you know what? The tribalism, like, was already insufferable when it was a sports thing. Yeah, now it's spilled over into nerds, and now they're acting the fucking same.

My team's doing so good this year. It's like, well, it's not your team, but whatever. Sure. Yeah. Now it's, oh God, my Star Wars is doing so good. And my new Star Wars movies. And it's like people now define themselves so by what they consume. It's like, well, what do you mean it's your Star Wars?

It's like, well, I watch all the movies. It's like everyone in the earth watches all the movies. It's like, everyone on the Earth watches all the movies. What are you talking about? Who hasn't seen the fucking Star Wars movies? It's like, yeah, but I don't know. I really like laser swords. Like, everybody likes laser swords. They're dumb.

I mean, they were. It's a dumb idea. When they first showed up, now they're fucking dumb. Now you're, like, tired of the fucking shit. It was a metaphor. Yeah. Now it's not Well

Sword battles in space Now it's stupid Don't make any real sense But really I mean We're talking about An entire day So that you can celebrate

A billion dollar Buying toys Property owned by The Disney Corporation Yes And they release Like special merchandise And I

Yeah I know today If you went to Disneyland on that day All the characters are running around I hate to say it but we need a mass shooting to ruin Stop it I hate to say it It is kind of bizarre that we haven't

I'm against it I wonder if we'll ever get the Disney mass shooting See you're taking it too far I'm not saying it should happen taking it too far I'm not saying It should happen I'm wondering too Ha ha ha I'm just saying

Why do they The only reason they go to the schools Is because there is no security Disney's got pretty good security Yeah I guess Well Point

You could have a mass bread bowl Spilling Ha ha ha Dump it on people Oh if you really wanted to Commit a terrorist act I mean what Better place would there be than Disneyland

Osama Bin Laden fucked up Well because he was Because he loves the American people He was just going after the government If you crashed a plane into Disneyland Instead of the Pentagon That would have been We'd be talking about that

The Pentagon plane We're like ah the Pentagon Fuck the Pentagon Yeah Nobody talks about the Pentagon plane They're like ah You kids Shit about that

Yeah It was like Oh man You can't go on Splash Mountain anymore Because that's where they crashed That 747 Who would have thought That he would have needed

Proof of that Right Like if you could go back in time Like Osama You have to get like Proof that you're crashing A plane into the Pentagon What do you mean

What do you What do you mean Proof Like Trust me Just Get a GoPro or something. Set it up. Send a guy out there with a camera to make it happen. Send a guy out there.

Send one of your dancing Israelis out there with a GoPro and a gimbal and just film it in a super slow-mo camera. Trust me. And all these terrorists out there You really gotta document this stuff better Yeah Cause otherwise other guys are gonna come in You're going through all this work Yeah Why not

And you don't even get the credit You messed up the last part Anyway guys Proving that it happened I don't know if you're out there celebrating May the 4th But I mean where does it stop What do you want You want a Lord of the Rings day

You want a fucking Yeah why not Garfield day Yeah let's have Garfield day March What 3rd I don't know What's a Garfield day In a, let's have Garfield Day. March, what? Third. I don't know.

What's a Garfield Day? In a way, I... It's Monday. Monday the 13th. Oh, I fucking hate Mondays. Me too. I saw that... Everybody hates...

Carrie Fisher, they did her Walk of Fame star yesterday, you know, because they're like, ooh, it's May the 4th. And I'm like... Yeah. She did more than just Star Wars, man. I don't want to reduce her to just a Star Wars thing Who cares She's dead

Give her a star It's for her family and stuff Fuck them They didn't do Star Wars George Lucas should have got it That's the other thing man I don't know isn't there just something better To be like a folk

A folksy like holiday Celebr of America's like creative spirit. It's really got to be star Wars. And it's not, it's America's merchandising spirit. What do you want to celebrate? Characters have like horrific, uh, tales of capitalism behind them.

I was going to be like, Oh, maybe it could be like Superman day. And you're like, Oh yeah. Like how they ripped off those two Jewish kids and stole their character from them. And going to be like Oh maybe it could be like Superman Day And you're like Oh yeah Like how they ripped off Those two Jewish kids And stole their character

From them And it's like Oh Star Wars Day And it's like Oh you mean The only genuine holiday We have is Holocaust Remembrance Day

That's the only holiday We're not allowed To capitalize on Christmas is all Capitalizing Halloween is all Capitalizing And obesity

July 4th is all Capitalizing The only pure holiday We have Where you can just Kick back Joke around Enjoy some memes is all capitalizing and obesity July 4th is all capitalizing the only pure holiday we have where you can just kick back joke around enjoy some memes

and a couple of drinks Holocaust Remembrance Day I don't know about the memes and the drinking but you can't avoid the memes on Holocaust Remembrance Day I just think

I dare you to try you know what that's a good point is that every holiday is already the most commercialized thing that like I feel like Star Wars Day maybe Cinco de Mayo it's just leading us to I love the is already The most commercialized Thing that like I feel like Star Wars

Day Maybe Cinco de Mayo Is just leading us to I love the old Simpsons thing Where it's like We need something You know like

Love day You know but not That stupid And then immediately Cuts to March Going happy love day Everyone And you're like

You're just Being cynically Exploited With this stupid Mass merchandise Holiday It will lead We are gonna have

A Transformers day And a G.I. Joe's day And a whatever Yeah we have Transvisibility day already What do you mean? We have Juneteenth Fucking

Dumb shit Fucking dumbass day It's uh It's a little Juneteenth is where we Kicked all slavery And we steal slaves And get a murder

Alright Alright Well I don't know where it goes from here But I feel It's called Black People Being Loud Day Oh is that one day this year? Stop it

I'm not smoking on that one Now who's the racist? I'm gonna say guys I love being loud No one should be Celebrate your family The people around you Don't celebrate

Whatever They're the ones that showed me Star Wars Sure Celebrate them Fair enough But I don't think you need to celebrate This stupid brand

And have this cutesy little day And you Dress Put on your green face paint And go I'm Yoda now Like just Captain Phillips also

Vito It's It's stuck with us Like herpes Until we're dead I know Okay The kids aren't gonna have it

The next generation Is not gonna have it I'm really worried that We're gonna be like an old man And like there's gonna be like Oh it's Star Wars day And we're gonna go outside And there's gonna be like

Fucking all this Star Wars bullshit Yes And all the kids Will be in a different phase They won't have to see it They're gonna make a Marvel Holiday if they haven't already Oh god July 4th Will be in a different phase They won't have to see it They're gonna make A Marvel holiday

If they haven't already Oh god July 4th Will be Captain America day One day? No Juneteenth Will be Samuel L. Jackson

This is gonna be A different holiday For every character It's gonna be Indiana Jones day What about Mario day You don't like that? R2-D2 day

March 10th That's a good point No I don't like that What do you like then? Well I didn't like March 10th Super killer day Cause they didn't even release They released a special edition console And I don't like that What do you like then? Well, I didn't like March 10th Super killer day Because they didn't even release

They released a special edition console And it wasn't even cool It was just two red Joy-Cons Now, if it had had The most consumer How do you hate this? I hate this because It doesn't need to be

It doesn't need the fanfare I don't need the You don't like other people consuming what you What's yours They consume it every day Why do you need a specific day to celebrate the rest of the consuming? It's a day to celebrate the other 364 days of the year that you keep buying Star Wars shit. Okay?

You don't need a specific day to recognize how much shit you buy throughout the rest of the year. I think Holocaust Remembrance Day should also be the biggest problem in the universe today. Because it was. Okay. Sure. Stop it. The biggest problem in the universe Because it was Okay Sure stop it Don't give me these looks What is this May the 4th guys biggest problem in the universe Dick what do you got for me

My problem is It's called I wanted to call it deceptive corporate tipping But it's called drip pricing I found out In all my research Yeah I went to buy your deceptive corporate tipping, but it's called drip pricing, I found out in all my research. Yeah, I went to buy your comic on Indiegogo, and I got to the checkout, and it said, here's a tip. It said, Vito's comic, I got the cheapest one. Thanks.

I don't want it. I got the cheapest one. Yeah. All right. Like, all right. Vito's comic is up. And I woke up and I was like, I'm not going to buy it right now. I'll buy it this afternoon.

So I go in the afternoon and I get my credit card and stuff. I'm like, well, what's the cheapest? Scroll all the way over. Oh, yeah. That one. All right. 25 bucks. 25 bucks.

Can I point out real quick that this is why everyone's like, why don't you do like a $5 tier where you get like a digital version? I'm like, because of guys like Dick who will literally just buy whatever the cheapest one is. No, no, no, no. I would have bought the actual one. You don't want the actual comic. Too cheap is too. All right.

I need the actual comic. Fair enough. So I can come on it. No. And post it to Pornhub. It's not what it's Coming on every page Stop Why?

I'll put it on my OnlyFans Slash SuperKiller Come on the jewelry ad I'll put halfway through Make that jewelry ad sticky Alright so you bought The cheapest version of my comic Which is fine

Cause it is a wonderful You should be thanking me Value at any price I am thanking you I don't buy art for value So I get to the checkout 25 bucks Oh what a deal

I get to the checkout And it says How'd you like to leave a tip For five bucks And I said No Yeah I don't wanna

Why the fuck would I wanna leave a tip For five bucks On a comic that doesn't exist? So I Got a comic that I am pretty or no did this so I clicked on the thing There's not like a no button to click it off and say no I don't want to buy this Why the fuck what I want to do. I don't want to tip. What am I retarded? I clicked like the thing to lower the tip and, like, you can lower it to four bucks

or increase it to 50 bucks. And in order to get rid of it, you have to type in zero. Yeah. Click, type, zero. That's very insidious. So then I said, well, that's fucked up that Vito would have that. I blame you, of course, because it's framed as such. It's framed like it's a tip for you

It was a tip for me. Yeah, yeah I said fucking typical Vito trying to get a little a little bit of extra fucking shy stood there at the last minute So I posted about it on Twitter and somebody said oh, yeah They took a screenshot of like the explainer of what that is Yeah, it's just a tip that Indiegogo gives themselves off of, on top of their 5%, on top of their 5%, they've elected to give themselves a 20%,

not suggested, a 20% default, difficult to get rid of tip. And I said, this is a fucking lawsuit. I'm laughing, but I'm genuinely not happy about this. How many people have your fans got raped and also blame you? I also did not know this existed. At no point when I was setting up the campaign did they go,

we're going to rape your fans, by the way. By the way, at checkout, there's going to be this like weird tip thing that you can't get rid of automatically add itself to orders and you have to manually put in zero and it's called a tip yeah right so i now have to i i'm hoping i don't even know if they tell me who tipped i'm gonna have to send a message why would they it's their money right why would they tell you uh so i'm gonna have to like You know put out first of all I'm gonna have to do An update that goes hey by the way if you don't tip Paid for a tip like Please know that you did not have to do that and it does

Not go to me I have Found out that you can send a message Like you have to email their support team If you ordered it to remove your tip Without canceling your order step One with killdozer 2 is gonna be Indiegogo Hey guys

Can you Can you remove my tip? Oh why not? Ah cause you're fucking dead Honestly if I had known about that I might not have used Indiegogo You got Kickstarter right? I think

It's tough It's extremely It's extremely Uh duplicitous I went to their page On why they have that And they're like Cause we have leukemia

That's why well they tried to say we haven't you know because we haven't upped our rates in the 10 years since we started our platform like maybe your rates are percentage so like if the revenues are going up and the site is growing you make more regardless so then raise your rate fuckhead yeah or don't Don't go from 5% to 25% And count on laziness And lack of reading And lack of understanding Because I didn't know I'm sure somebody's listening to this right now

Going, oh fuck, I accidentally I thought I was tipping Vito It's fucked It's totally fucked It just says Indiegogo tip And you go, oh, a tip. I'll tip Vito. Actually, I would have paid 30 bucks.

Yeah, sure. I like Vito. But if you read the little- I don't want him to kill himself. You have to click on something. It's not transparent. And they know it's not transparent. They know they want to-

It's by design. Yeah, they want people to think that it's going to me. It's very immoral. Amazon used to do this They got busted for their handling Of driver's tips Oh really? Yeah they had to pay out $62 million

In restitution to 140,000 drivers Don't all the ride share services doing this Is that it would say tip It would say tip and if you tipped The ride share service would give it to you But then deduct your pay. Right. So instead of the pay that you were normally going to get, they would take that back and give you the tip instead.

Yeah, so they would keep your money. And you're like, well, you know, that's the... Yeah, well, you still made a little extra, you know, because we were going to give you $250,000, but this guy was going to give you $5,000. So now we're giving you negative $2.5. It's such uber settled a lawsuit where the company agreed to uh facilitate the tripping tipping of drivers i don't know they had to pay a hundred million dollars to 385 000 plaintiffs should have paid way more than that uh yeah when anyone's when anyone gets upset about like thieving thievery happening at target i really feel

compelled to beat them with a shalala and say do you understand how much evil these corporations are perpetrating like constantly right on their on their employees just because they assume that just because we can't do anything about it like if indiegogo came to my house and like, hey, here's Vito's comic. It's 25 bucks. I say, okay, here's 25 bucks. I say, how about a little something for the, you know, little tip? I say, for Vito? Like, well, you know.

I would fucking beat them. A tip for the spirit of creativity. And you're like, okay, well. You're not a pizza guy. No, it's going to you, bro. Yeah, it's going to you bro Yeah It's going Like this is You're really perverting

The name The spirit of the word tip And how I understand it In the scheme of things It's uh It's really unfortunate And they only added this In 2022

Which is why It must have been late In that year so Probably COVID Probably had to do For COVID regulation Well also these platforms End up hiring a bunch of shitheads.

It's the same problem with Patreon where Patreon's like, we got to raise our rates, guys. And it's like, why? You could run this with one dude. It's like, well... Well, because investors are not getting the return

on what they asked for. So we got to figure out some way to rape people. I think this might... I'm surprised more Indiegogo people are not complaining about this. Like, it seems like... Me too.

Yeah. Shocking. I mean, I'm... They should be sued for it. complaining about this. Me too. It's shocking. They should be sued for it. Part of me is like, I don't want to complain about it while my campaign's going on. That's probably why. Yeah, because I'm like, I don't want to get in trouble and have them fuck with me. But when it's done, I'm going to be like, hey, that was kind of a little bit fucky. Maybe I'll sue them. How about that?

I need to fix my fucking sewer problem. Get a class action going. Maybe I'll get Chad GPT. bit fucky maybe i'll sue him how about that yeah i need to fix my fucking sewer problem you get a class action maybe i'll get chad gpt yeah if you if anybody's ever tipped on indiegogo uh contact me and i'm gonna fucking class action sue them how about that how about them apples it does seem like obviously how about those go-go's why do they that's the other thing it's like they could just make it optional and like be very transparent about it. Be like, would you like to support the Indiegogo platform? Yeah.

And granted, no one would ever want to do it. But that's the point. Is that like. Then at least they could say, well, we have an explanation. It's an opt in and it's everything. No, they're being sneaky little bitches. Amazon is paid 61. Did I already say this one?

It also sucks because now I'm like, man, did anybody leave a big tip that they did want to go to me? I'm like, how much am I missing out on here? That would seem uncouth if you went back and said, hey, cancel that, but, you know, go ahead. If you want to send me money, you know, there's ways to do it. DoorDash did this too. I forget if I said that. I think somebody did send me a message and they're like, I put a little tip in there for you. And I had to go, oh, no, no, don't do that.

And then they add this shit to whatever you buy before the checkout. They're doing it at restaurants, too. They're like, well, you get your bill. And it's like, well, we're adding four bucks to your bill to pay for health insurance for all the. Oh, yeah. All the automatic. Put it in the price here. This is horse shit.

Put it in the price of the items. That's it. And then it's up to Then you can do all the accounting It's all the psychological mind games of capitalism Where you're like bro just like Of people stop sneaking Yeah well that's part of it

I mean I always had a problem with the fact that everything's like $19.99 and you're like just say it's $20 Like are we really that retarded It's only $19 and it's $20 over here It's like no it's $19 Oh it's 20 over here it's like now it's night oh my god how stupid is it uh yeah they're inflation pricing swipe fees also for credit cards where they throw on three percent this is not everything it isn't that's how they're gonna get us man they're gonna like that's the thing about inflation is that it's it's gonna be so secretive the shrinkflation right now

where like a product that used to be 20 ounces is now 16 ounces And they just put it in a different fucking bottle So you don't notice or whatever Yeah they're gonna be sneaking All these little tips and little fucking And we're gonna eventually get to the point where you're gonna It's gonna be impossible to buy a product And have full transparency about what the fuck

You're actually buying I'm gonna put a toll road In front of my house Parking I'm gonna put a meter in front of my house for DoorDash and then if they stop there, I'm just going to write them a ticket. You got 38 cents. Go ahead. They're going to go, send this back to Uber. Good.

That's not a bad idea. At a sandwich shop, this dumb bitch paid four bucks for a non-fee for a non-tipped staff members. That was on top of the, it's so, it's insidious what they're doing.

It is insidious. Uh, yeah, there you go. That's my problem. Well guys, if for some reason you left a tip on Indiegogo, uh,

you can contact their support and they can refund it. If you can't figure out how to do that, send me a message. Call them the N word. Don't do that. They deserve it. Whatever slur you want. Say, Hey, If you can't figure out how to do that, send me a message. Call them the N-word. Don't do that. That's not helpful. Whatever slur you want. Say, hey, you fucking, you stole my money.

I had to add a thing to the campaign, like explaining how it works. If I had known ahead of time, I don't know. How many people are getting raped by this tip? This 20% tip? I don't even think they tell me who tipped. I think it's like secret. It would be one thing if I could like know who tipped And then I could email each of them and go hey

I want to make sure that you Wanted to do that We don't do that shit at Back By Everything's right on Becky Center I told you if you set up Back By with the crowdfunding You could be hosting The next Super Killer comic

Yeah I mean all that stuff is hard to code We're working on it If you want to fix your sewer you better get on it You could be hosting the next super killer comic. Yeah, I mean it's all that stuff is hard to code Really work. We're working on it. It's your sewer. You better get on it Wait a minute. Did you say 2022 they started doing this? That's what I heard Becky Center. Why would Becky Center take over? Actually, if you go back it looks like they had an announcement on that page mathematics and psychology. Oh, no. Mathematics and psychology are the two worst traits for a CEO to have.

She's in there doing all sorts of little shit. Meet Becky Center from April 26th, 2022. So Becky shows up and immediately goes, look at this bitch. We can trick people

into tipping us money. Oh, Becky, what are you doing? Becky, why don't you get a fucking clue? Give me my money back. Give me my five bucks back. Way to go, Becky. Oh, God. Some guy sent me, some guy

sent me, uh. She's a yoga enthusiast. Matt Walsh is right. Yoga is satanic. They always are. And an satanic. They always are. And an occasional runner. Spends most of her free time with her young family doing crafts or baking. And raping customers. They left that out.

She spends most of her time with her. Do you think she charges her kids tips? I don't know. It is like weirdly insidious. I don't know why I've never heard anyone else complain about it either. Because nobody fucking Comic guys use Indiegogo and none of them ever said like to fucking bite the hand that feeds them. Yes, I Wonder if it's I wonder if I'm gonna get in trouble that I even put a note on my campaign

Letting people know how it works probably you're probably in big trouble. Oh Jesus Christ Well dick, you know who else is in big trouble Or actually is not in big trouble. Who's that? Certain individual, a certain movie director known as Bryan Singer. I'm going to say that this man, Bryan Singer, is the biggest problem in the universe. Now, Vito, why are you talking about Bryan Singer, you might be saying? Well, the reason is... Does he have a day? No, it is not Bryan Singer day, thankfully.

But this week, Matthew Lawrence, an actor from Boy Meets World, played Sean's older brother. Was it Jake or something? Whatever. Claimed that as a young actor, he lost his talent agency because he refused to strip for an unnamed director. He says, I went to the hotel room of a very prominent Oscar award winning director who showed up in his robe, asked me to take my clothes off, and said he needed to take Polaroids of

me. He said if I did so, he would make me the next Marvel character. When was this? He said this happened when he was a young actor. Marvel when he was young? I guess they've been going was young? Well, X-Men is Marvel. And Bryan Singer, Oscar award winning director involved in the Marvel Universe. Wait, he didn't say who it was?

He doesn't want to get sued, but I mean, you can piece it together. Because he's basically said it. He doesn't need to say it. Who else won an Oscar and made a bunch of Marvel movies and is also known for raping young boys? Like, we all knew who he was. It's Bryan Singer, director of The Usual Suspects, X-Men, X2, Days of Future Past, Valkyrie, Superman Returns, and the most recent hit, Bohemian Rhapsody, the queen biopic that released just like five years ago. Now, Dick, before the show, I believe I brought this up and you said you don't really know

a lot about Bryan Singer. No. Well, have I got a tale for you? What, he raped a bunch of kids or something? Oh my God. You're a giddy talking about it. Well, I would be a little bit more somber if I was talking about kids getting raped. Well, because what's funny about it is that like nobody, The rape. No,

not the rape. That's not the funny part. The funny part is that like, again, That he got away with it. People are like ignorant of this. It's like we had a whole huge Me Too stuff and everybody knows,

oh, Cosby did all this stuff. Harvey Weinstein did all this stuff. But that's because they raped women. If you rape a bunch of guys... No one cares. I told Porcelain that and he fucking wigged out on me. Like, yeah, no one cares

about... No, they absolutely don't. People don't care. If Bryan Singer had raped a bunch of girls, you'd go, oh, what a monster. But instead you're like, ah, he's just a gay guy. He was having fun. Yeah. Now I have a number of different stories here. It's different, but it's... Because you've got to talk here Different sound It is It's different but it's Cause you gotta talk women out of it

It's really bad It's not good I got a couple different stories here Yeah Now back when he This was in 1997 A young director making the movie Apt Pupil

Where he Gross There has a shower scene in it It's about a bunch of high school boys And there's a scene where all the boys are showering naked. What do they look like? I haven't seen the movie so I don't actually know. Are there any black ones

or is it all white? I believe it's all white boys. Now all of these boys were not actors. They're just kind of like picked off the street and they say that the cast and crew bullied them into stripping naked for the shower scene. One which who says a singer uh recruited him for the movie in a public bathroom came up to him while he was urinating and said he was gonna make him a star just forced told him to

get naked and then just had him sitting in like the locker room for hours naked waiting for the scene and kept coming up to him being like hey how's everything going everything good and then at some point uh according to this boy singer reached through the flaps of his towel grabbed his genitals and began well doing sorts of things to him all while smiling telling him you're so good looking i really want to work with you i have a cool ferrari i'm gonna take care of you now this was kind of sounds made up well here's here's where some weirdo sounds made up weirdo meth addict is saying this shit about brian singer well by the late 90s uh brian singer had a reputation on the gay hollywood scene for throwing constant pool parties at his Mar Vista.

Yeah, he was having fun pool parties. The problem with these pool parties is that, again, this guy was directing X-Men films and was, well, there were no chicks and that is a problem, but he was directing X-Men movies and would be telling all these young actors, hey, I can get you a role. I can make you Pyro Blaster. I can make you Ice Shackeraster i can make you ice shocker yeah whatever come to my cool pool party and we'll have fun he invested in a startup network called the digital entertainment network boys chat line well it was a network meant for 14 to 24 year olds

with an emphasis on stories For gay teens To be distributed online So he actually had one of the first streaming services The problem was that all it was Was teenagers Doing gay love scenes And then afterwards doing a bunch of drugs And partying in his pool

Free drugs? I assume the drugs were Oh man, why can't I be a 14-year-old boy in Hollywood with Bryan Singers? I'm going to go in disguise. What's up? No cap. For real, for real. I'm here with the free drugs, dude.

What's up? I'm sure you would have had a real fun time at these parties. Go sing, man. Come on. Phase rug. I like phase rug. Son Piker. I'm 14.

Who says I'm not? Fuck you. Yeah. You could pass as one of the fellow kids. Suck my dick. As one former employee of the network. I've never even seen Top Gun. He remembers asking, why are so many teenage boys on our payroll?

Brian Singer said they were all doing computer work. Doing computer stuff. Brian Singer said they were all doing Computer work Computer stuff How come you got all these Little boys on here They're all computer guys I don't know which one's doing the right

Computer stuff so I hired Two to watch him And then two to watch those guys To make sure they're not messing up the computers That makes sense At one point he saw a bunch of teenage boys Filing into a movie theater in the mansion He tried to go inside but was stopped by a bodyguard

Who told him Kids only Who said this? This is a former employee Says he was not allowed in the movie screening room Where he believes Kids only bro He believes they were watching pornography A former employee says he was not allowed in the movie screening room where he believes... Kids only, bro.

He believes they were watching pornography. I should hope so. What else would they... It would be weird if they were watching something else. One teenage employee of the... Oh, wait. What's wrong with a bunch of 14-year-old boys watching... Pornography and privacy.

Pornography and privacy. It's kids only. I mean, come on. I mean, it's... What's wrong with that? It's kids only I mean come on What's wrong with that It said kids only But I don't know Watch it on the street On the bus or something They can pick up a disease Vito

One boy says Lots of older men Would attend the pool parties And says I was passed around Like a party favor And what Honestly Honestly This might all have happened I was passed around like a party favor. And what?

Honestly, honestly, this might all have happened, but when these guys give these, when men tell stories about getting raped and stuff and they use these like metaphors, I just tune out. I got passed around like, yeah, I got ass raped all over this fucking party. I got ass raped there, ass raped there. I sucked this guy's cock over here. Like, I'm sorry. I just, yeah, I got ass raped all over this fucking party. I got ass raped there, ass raped there. I sucked this guy's cock over here.

Like, I'm sorry. I just, I don't have time for it anymore. No, because they all, because people lie a lot with innuendo. And I don't, I don't have time for it. And I don't have time to like get upset over it. Unless you say exactly. He took me out to dinner. He fucking raped me.

Well, there are more specific allegations. You know, they get dark. Who was the first guy you said? Corey Feldman or something? No, was it Corey Feldman? I don't know if I put Nate. Mr. Feeney from Boy Meets World said. Matthew Lawrence from Boy Meets World.

Oh, and a mysterious stranger said that if I did something and made him feel good, then I'd get a role. Like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Just tell me exactly what happened. If you don't tell me exactly what happened, I don't have time for you. Well, there are some more specific allegations. I have too many issues in my own house that I need to worry about. A 17-year-old Cesar Sanchez Guzman says he went to a yacht party where Brian Singer forced him to the floor, shoved his face against his crotch area, and demanded oral sex.

He then pulled out his penis, smacked Caesar in the face with it, and forced it into his mouth. Oh. And later forcibly anally penetrated the 17-year-old victim. There we go. So there you go. There we go. You got one of those. Now I'm satisfied.

Now he's a monster. Now he's a rapist. When before it was, you know, they treated us like blow up dolls in the pool party. Wrong. Yeah, all right. In the pool party of life. Yeah, you wanted the real details. Fair enough.

Of course, he shoved his dick in my face and then raped me. Point is. Wow. On a boat. So I couldn't go anywhere. The worst Bryan Singer has suffered From these allegations Is he had his name removed From the

From the Rapist Hall of Fame No it was like some film center Was named after him And obviously he's not making movies right now Oh he's not? No after After Bohemian Rhapsody he disappeared And I don't think

They let him make that? Well it was in the middle of it that he disappeared He disappeared midway through filming And then they replaced him why uh they're saying it's it's complicated everybody thought he was running away because like a lawsuit landed like a couple days after yeah but apparently he's just a weirdo flake who was like i don't i need a month off no you can't have a month off we're filming the fucking movie i gotta go rape all these guys they're turning 18 any day now what's crazy is bohemian rhapsody made a ton of money and i think it even won some awards yeah and they just like his name's still on it still says directed by brian singer

but everyone's like ah bohemian rhapsody that movie made by no one what a great movie you know there's no repercussions i hate feeling rapists. I hate feeling like everyone's dead, but I just want to walk down to Hollywood and go, hey, you can just take his name off. You guys realize that, right? The movie? Yeah, just take it off and then, what if we get sued? Yeah, I think you can be all right with that. Then when the judge says, why'd you take it off?

Go like, well, you raped all these kids. Yeah, he probably won't file a lawsuit. And then he'll go like, who, me? He'll go like, yeah, yeah, okay. It's fine that you took his name off the thing. You know what? You might have a point. It's just interesting that, you know, even me, I didn't even know he directed the more recent X-Men movies.

So I'm still like, ah, Days of Future Past, that's a pretty good movie. I thought it was Days of Future Pants. No, that was the Digital Entertainment Network. That's what he was directing for the 14-year-old boys. I go, oh, what a cool movie. I want to watch that again. And I didn't realize that a horrible boy rapist was directing my favorite X-Men movies. 14's a little much.

Yeah, well, we got a range between 14 to 17. He did like them young. Again, the age of consent in California is 18 years old. Yeah, but that's not the U.S. The U.S. is 16. He's in California. All the pool parties were in California. Yeah, but so it doesn't make it like If it's different in any state

It doesn't make it evil More evil Because it's illegal And different than the other states Okay, regardless You have to adhere to the law of the state You can't throw teenage boy pool parties Where you drug him up and rape him

And tell him you're going to make him Wolverine There Okay There Drugging him up and raping That is an issue Not what You know what the bigger issue is

is that he didn't make them Wolverine because then it would have made it okay what if he made what if he made his like Citizen Kane and it was all the boys he raped being Wolverine that's like all Wolverines

and it's just the whole movie is all the teenage kids he raped 200 boys the grown up ones two now that are older and the ones who just raved I told you I'd make you an X-Men So we're fine

We're straight Hey what's up bub I think the judge Hey bub Hey bub Hey bub Hey bub And they're all wearing wife beaters

Like these little twink boys And like some older ones You're like You fucking raped that old guy too If I was the judge on the trial I'd go You promised that boy Before you rape him

That you would make him an X-Men Therefore your punishment Is you must make him an X-Men therefore your punishment is you must now make an X-Men movie starring this boy yeah cut to I thought the last time was my last time and then another one me too bub

me too bub they're all gay twinks farting out cum everywhere as they're going around snicked right yeah that would be pretty good so did anybody sue him

for any of this stuff he's been sued like a bunch of times but uh wow they get dropped for what weird reasons you know like mental trauma

or some stuff I guess you could get away with raping anybody if you do it on a boat yeah international waters you know there's not it's always

Classic international water Where anything goes The point is that You know what It is interesting The Me Too movement Is all focused on What women have endured

But if you molest A whole bunch of little boys It's like Ah Make a couple X-Men We'll get We'll cancel you eventually Because women are like

I mean Stop it Because they're stupid So we feel worse for them Well no It's just like If one little thing goes wrong Their life is over

It's like Oh you got raped Oh yeah That really sucks You got nothing else to do But to guys It's like Oh all the

Your plumbing in your house Isn't connected to the sewer And it's gonna cost Like $120,000 to fix. That's too bad. You know, like a woman in my position would just kill herself or just cry until Biden bailed her out. Yeah. But if you're a guy, would I rather be mouth raped by Bryan Singer on a yacht or fix my plumbing?

Mouth rape. It is true that I would much rather get mouth raped Than pay $60,000 in plumbing costs As a man getting mouth raped I mean If that's the worst thing that happened to you in your life Fucking rats off to you You're doing alright You know that reference, right?

I do I used to have a rats off to you t-shirt I wish I still did Alright, my problem is It's ironic that you would bring in a problem about raping kids. Why is it ironic? I don't know. You think I don't have a problem with boy rape? I do.

I don't know. I have a problem with girl rape as well. All rape, I disapprove. If you had to get rid of one, which would it be? I would get rid of the boy rape Would you? Easy Yeah, easy

Easy decision I'm not gonna make this decision Then neither I don't want a Sophie's choice Then both your kids would be dead Sophie Fine You have to be a man of action

At least it's fair Now that you're a successful comic Yeah Super killer does not approve of boy rape My problem is armchair prize fighters That guy That annoying guy Annoying Michael Jackson impersonator

Got killed on the subway Did you see that? I did, I don't know if I would use annoying to describe him Have you ever ridden the subway? Yeah Have you ever had someone loud on the subway? Yes, I know what you're talking about do you yeah with the dancing the singing and the putting on a little performance screaming

i've definitely had some screamers yeah i know that yeah and you're trapped in there used to ride the subway in boston from work uh every day yeah uh did you have anybody in that subway where you're like god I hope someone fucking takes this guy Please I would just try to ignore them mostly You have to You have to I'm not gonna leap into action and choke him out

I'll tell you that right now Some savior comes in and chokes him out Oh no Who knows what he would have done Who knows how many n-words he would have said He might have danced or sang a what he would have done Who knows how many N words He would have said He might have danced Before he was done Or sang a song

He might have done A bad version of Thriller And then when you listen To Thriller again You gotta think about This stupid homeless guy That was bothering you Anyway

Yeah So something like that happens Which is clearly Like oh wow That sucks Yeah What a weird freak accident Yeah the homeless guys So something like that happens, which is clearly like, oh, wow, that sucks. Yeah. What a weird freak accident. Yeah, homeless guys, I mean, we all know how homeless people are.

The unhoused, you mean. We all know how people experiencing homelessness are. And then you're in a confined space, and then you got choked out, and you're dead. They start experiencing homelessness very loudly. Now you're not experiencing life anymore. Right. That's too bad. We all, like we all understand it immediately.

Now you're experiencing a bodilessness because your soul has left it. Oh, he was, oh, he didn't just stop. When you got him in the chokehold, you can go like, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Yeah, my bad. My bad. My bad. I'm going to chill out. I'm going to just go home. Yeah. Oh, choke's you can go like oh sorry sorry sorry my bad my bad i'm gonna chill out i'm gonna just go home yeah oh guys right i got no right right jokes right right um but then you got you got thousands of people typing about how what they would have done in the situation well what you know what i would have done that's situation. Well, what, you know, what I would have done. That's a lethal, what, it doesn't necessitate and justify a lethal.

It's like, are you, have you ever even wrestled your wife? Like, what are you, what are you talking about? Well, that doesn't justify a lethal chokehold. Like, I don't even think you could do a chokehold. Yeah. What are you talking about? Armchair prize fighters, guys who see any kind of altercation

and they say what they would have done like Mark Wahlberg in 9-11. Wait, what did Mark Wahlberg say about 9-11? Did he say

I would have rushed in there? Yeah. Yeah, he would have stopped it. He would have kicked the doors open. Yes. It's the awesomest thing that anyone,

and I believe him. Yeah. I kind of do. Because he's awesome and on steroids. He probably would. This guy says. He would not in my town, buddy.

I've yet to see an argument that lethal force was legally justified in this situation. Neely allegedly said, I'm hungry and made some violent threats. Yeah. Without more, that would not justify the use of lethal force under New York law. Am I crazy or is it doesn't look like he was choking him out? It looks like he was like, like he had him in a chokehold, but like. Who cares? It kind of looks like the guy was maybe had drugs in his system or something.

Oh, you think? You know. You think he had not enough or too much? Something else. It seems like something else is going on because I don't think That guy was trying to like Get him to pass out Or anything Yeah I guess it just

As an armchair You know Right Prize fighter myself Right I mean he could have eased up A little bit on the choke Perhaps

Well the thing is He got his carotid Right And that's really what You don't want to get the carotid You want to go nice around Like a Like a stunt man

This is the physical version Of the trigger discipline, guys. Go, oof, you really should have practiced better choke discipline. Yeah. See, when I'm choking a guy out, you know what I'll do is I'll lock the thumb under. That way the windpipe isn't, you know, connected. Yeah. Yeah. I guess it's like they look at, these guys look at like a still frame or something that happened,

and their imagination is so bad that they can't tell themselves how you could reasonably get in that situation. Like if you see a guy with an empty ice cream cone going like, oh, like, oh. You say, what happened in this situation? They would say like, well, he must have thrown the ice cream on the ground. Like, well, but yeah, but he's going like, oh, like, oh, man, I'm so disappointed in what happened here. Like, what do you think happened? Like, well, I don't know. Maybe he forgot to buy ice cream.

No, no, no, that's not what happened. Like, how do you not go to the immediate, give me three ways that it could happen? Maybe he really didn't like Michael Jackson and the guy was entertaining everyone so well that he felt the need to interrupt his performance and choke him out. And choke him to death. Yeah. That's probably what happened. Clearly, there's no way that guy was like doing it.

I don't know what happened. I don't know. I mean, you do know. I mean, I assume that know i mean i assume that you've rode the subway before you know what happened he probably was getting in everybody's face and this guy i think i think he said he was threatening some people or something that's all they do yeah on the sub everything they say it's like screaming at you like man there you go well the problem is that like you know shouldn't we have like some cops or like shouldn't we take all these homeless people and give them treatment or something well i was letting them dance and scream at people and put on an elmo costume and yell about the jews or whatever the fuck yes could this not have been I do think that we should solve the homeless problem.

All right. All right. All right. Look, I'm just saying it's like all the blame is being applied to the last guy in the scenario. And it's like hot potato. Yeah. I think that guy was just like, oh, man, this guy's like out of control. I got to like hold him down.

Spitting on him and stuff. Yeah. Whereas maybe the fault lies with like the several steps in the system that failed. I mean, there's no fault. It's just like a thing that happened. You don't have to solve every little thing that happens. Right. God, that guy killed an annoying guy.

Wow, I can't believe that. I can't believe that if you cause a bunch of ruckus on the subway and make people feel, you know, scared for their safety. I didn't get killed by that guy, so I mean, I guess I'll just keep doing what I'm doing. I am looking at this situation, I'm like, guys, I don't want to do another one of these like endless news cycles of like, our white people need to stop choking people. And it's like, it's not a thing. It's like such a random thing.

Can black people shut up in public? You're not getting that article. How about that? That's not happening. Can that happen? Can we have a no black person was loud today? No. Can black people stop trying to sell me their CD on the beach or whatever the fuck?

Like, just leave me. Yeah, I know. We're not having that one. We're going to leave that discussion to the experts. What day is that? What day is black people trying to entertain passerby for? Is there a mixtape awareness day? So I can go, I'm aware of your mixtape, sir.

I'm aware. Shut the fuck up. Put it online if it's good. It's clearly not good because you're selling it on the street. Yeah. It's not how mixtapes work. I'll buy all the CDs. Woo!

Well, Dick, we'll see how this pans out. It's interesting that There's no footage of The lead up to the choking Well who's gonna just film Not a choking Who doesn't film I guess if you live in Yeah

I was gonna say Oh shit here we go I guess you see so many Crazy people in New York That you can't film them all Your phone would be filled up Once the choking starts That's when the phone comes out

Yeah I mean everyone Knows what happened Yeah Even the people lying about it. Like, you know that it was just like an annoying asshole. He was running around being an asshole, yeah. The question is, was he being so much of an asshole that somebody... It's not.

There's no... I don't know. You know, sometimes video comes out and you go... You know, Vito. Don't you even try to fucking devils Palestine me. Sometimes, you know, you make assumptions and you can be wrong. It's like that kid who was grinning at that Native American. Everyone went, well, it must be a racist kid.

Not everyone did that. No, I didn't do that because I'm not doing it here. I wait a little bit to find out what happened. You don't have to wait. You can just launch right into it. I can make some assumptions, sure. Yeah. But people did that about Kyle Rittenhouse.

They said, that guy, he must have just killed a bunch of black people. And he didn't actually kill any black people. If you wait for the information. Potatoes, potatoes. All right. Look at him. Nice little kid there. All I know.

So he killed some people at a riot This guy was dancing and entertaining a train That's what I've been told Loved to dance They loved it You know what my favorite part is About subway performers When they walk down

Shoving their shit into your face Like they did you a favor. There was a really good, normally the Babylon Bee is like hit or miss, but they had an article and it was like, Hitler vindicated after footage is discovered of him moonwalking on a subway platform. And you're like, that's all it takes.

As long as a guy danced at one point in the past 10 years. There's also a video. You know what? I'll say this. The best thing about Dead Subway guy is he reminded me of Joey Boots. Because, you know Joey Boots? Yeah. The Howard Stern guy?

Yeah, yeah. Who's tragically passed, sadly. But he had an old video encounter of him with Michael Jackson guy saying, I'm going to kill you, you white devil, and whatever else. And I'm like, hey, man, if he was giving Joey Boots shit, I know he can't be that good a guy so now on the subway Joey Boots is a national treasure somebody starts tuning up their boombox and you just gotta

go you can wait a second you look like you're getting a little loud over there nobody wants to hear it nobody absolutely nobody wants to hear it your problem is Subway performers. You know what it is.

Subway performers and the guys selling... Mixtape CDs. Mixtape CDs. Subway performers and Subway guys selling individually wrapped bags of chips. Yeah, that they wrapped themselves. No, they're selling like Do not sale The like snack bags Yeah

Snack bags Do not resale Fun size packs Reselling them And you're like You fucking asshole I'm going home on the subway At 610

Yeah To have a healthy meal Perfect time for some Doritos And you're fucking pumping These Doritos in Or they're selling The ones that are selling Water are the worst

Yeah Cause it's always like Kirkland brand Dollar a bottle If I I wish There was a guy Always selling water

In the LA The red line From Hollywood to downtown I wish I could go back And just grab his cooler And smash it Throw all of his Fucking water everywhere

Hey man At least he's working That's better than That's better than most things Yeah that's fine I don't care I still want to smash it Good job

Here you go Here's your fucking reward Throwing it into the train tracks Go fucking clean it up Or I'll fucking choke you bro We respect the unhoused here The people experiencing homelessness I hate homeless

I'm gonna test out my killdozer too Skid row No no No no I'm going to have a loudness No that's my car I'm doing donuts I'm going to have a little loudness detector hey everybody

why don't you shut up for 10 minutes I'm trying to cure cancer and I just need you to shut up for 10 fucking minutes then I have moral authority it doesn't matter if I'm actually doing it or and I just need you to shut up for ten fucking minutes. Then I have moral authority. It doesn't matter if I'm actually doing it or not, right? That's pretty good. Anyway. What a show, Dick.

Those are our problems. Those are our problems. Subway. What was mine? Yours was either Subway Performers or Armshade. Subway Performers. Yeah, Subway Performers. Mine was, of course, May the 4th.

What a stupid holiday. Bryan Singer. Subway Performers, mine was, of course, May the 4th. What a stupid holiday. Bryan Singer. Subway Performers, Bryan Singer, May the 4th. Enemy children everywhere. What was mine? What was my first one? Tips from the whatever. Drip pricing.

Pricing. Indiegogo. Don't get dripped. Guys, don't forget to check out all the bonus episodes at patreon.com slash biggestproblem and vote on your favorite problems at biggest problem dot show super chat now don't wait till we start reading them and get excited and then do it it's too late yeah but do super chat because i need i need the money i don't have a big indiegogo like veto with a bunch of tips on it don't forget

to go to indiegogo to get your copy of Superkiller No. 1 written by me, Vito Giswaldi with none of the money going to fix Dick's sewer. Why don't you make it yours? Hey guys, just wanted to call in and tell you fucking heckling is fucking based. Go fuck yourself. Imagine

sitting on stage thinking you're the most fucking funny guy in the room And like Holy shit A Canadian I bet for Canadians Heckling is like The most base

You could be Heckling is the Base thing you could do man Imagine you're up there On the stage And someone comes in like Hey buddy You're not so tough shit

After all eh I like that he thinks The comedians have a Have a head about them. Like, oh, you think you would just get to perform? Like, it's your show? That's Irish. I know.

I can't do accents. I'm so bad at it. First of all, comedians are not proud of themselves. No, we're very depressed people. We get on that stage and we go, oh, God, everyone's going to hate it. Weird. And then you guys, yeah. At least I am. Weird. And then you guys, yeah. At least

I am. Okay, super killer this guy is. Hey guys, your old pal DB. What makes me rage is not being able to be first or even close to it. Vinny, your fucking super killer

finally went live. I've been checking the fucking site every single day thinking man i don't even want the first fucking people to buy a comic it goes live i'm like holy shit it's live it's live already fucking ten thousand dollars dude holy shit what the fuck i wanted to be first i mean i'm still getting the comics I'm getting the Toshio edition by the way That should be the only cover available But whatever Anyhow

This is just a way of saying congrats It's fucking awesome Thank you Some people wanted to be the first to buy Look it's all random Everyone's first in my mind Thank you There you go

What do you mean it's not rape It's definitely rape It's a consensual tentacle. It's an unconsensual tentacle attack. It's not penetrating. It hasn't penetrated yet. Here's bad as Brian Singer. Oh, my cock's just above your mouth. If you happen to

open it to breathe, that's on you. I had some comic guys complaining that it wasn't explicit enough, and I said, well, guys, I had the thought, like, what if at some point I want to do something like this and I'm like Like a movie or whatever else it goes Oh you mean that guy who's comic where The main character gets split open

By tentacles on the fucking cover Guys it creates some You don't need a graphic tentacle rape Okay it's cheeky it's fun Use your imagination If you really need the character to be getting Like horribly gang raped. I like that they raped, but no one came

to my house and jacked me off. Can you do that? Your guy's job is to create the fan art, okay? That's on you. The best part was the little gun floating by her head. Yeah, we'll talk about that some other time. That might not appear in the final cover. We might have to redraw that.

Dick knows that story. I don't know if I'm going to bring up that story on the show I'm glad you noticed it though Hey Dick, hey Vito I've got a question for you well actually a problem that I could use some advice on a creator I follow

just launched an Indiegogo project and I want to support him, but my concern is if the project succeeds and the creator ends up not killing himself, then he might live long enough

to vote for Joe Biden again. Oh, I see. Should I withhold my support to save America? Let me know what you think. Thanks. Bye. Biden's winning.

Yeah. It doesn't matter. It's definitely going to happen. Nothing that you do matters. Voting doesn't matter. Biden's winning. We already got the fix in. The voting machines have been programmed.

Yes. You're saying it like a joke, but yeah. There's no... If Super Killer hits 100,000, I will never vote in a presidential election for the rest of my life. You're already doing that. I know. I already have no point in the system. I live in California.

It doesn't matter how I vote. Blue all the way. Thank you for your support. Okay, here you go. Vito, if you learned your lesson from trusting Hex to movies to help you, you wouldn't have done it again, you fucking retard. Think about yourself. Well, how did I get him to help me again?

What are you talking about? I don't know. The first fuck up was him not sending me my things. Yeah. I'm waiting for the second fuck up. I mean, the first fuck up was him eating the weed cookie, but at least that was funny. Yeah, that was funny. So I thought maybe his second fuck up would I mean, the first fuck up was him eating the weed cookie, but at least that was funny. Yeah, that was funny.

So I thought maybe his second fuck up would be funny. He wasn't funny, though. He messed up, and I made it funny. Yeah, well. That happens a lot, where people think they did something funny, and it's just like, well, no, you messed up, and I made it. I recovered it. Oh, you mean like Tony being like, hey, isn't it great that these teachers made so much money? You should send me a cut of that.

For my great fuck up I did actually reimburse him For the cost of the shirts I thought that was Did he pay for those Or did Mint pay for those Yeah I think he paid He better have paid for them Because I just paid him

For the fucking Probably fell off a truck If you know what I mean Probably You know what I mean Here's from Here's something Jesus Christ

Oh no. Guess who? Is it the niggler, I assume? I don't know. It's nice to hear you all survived the trip to Philly. Yes, we did. It's just too bad Vito's merch didn't make it.

Wait a minute. Oh no. Did the niggler play a part in my merch disaster? Wait a minute. Oh, no. Did the niggler play a part in my merch disaster? Yes. Oh, he hacked your account. He hacked your account. He hacked my phone. And then removed it. Oh, he's very pleased with himself.

Good work, Niggler. All right. That was Tony's fault. Why are there four of these? All right. That was Tony's fault. Anyways, I just wanted to. Why are there four of these? Why are there four voicemails marked Nickler.mp3? End of message one of five. There's no way.

There's not a five. There's no five. Is that the niggle? What's number two? End of message two of five. All right. There's no five. Shut up. Bust your balls That's what you get for trusting Tony the hack

The movies Anyways I don't feel like Nicola Shaw is game Don't keep this brief No No you won't Would you want my messages to be too long? One of the classic niggles.

One of the classic niggles. Oh, what a shame that would be. It's a message two of five. All right. You got me over. You won me over. It's a message four of five. Oh, no.

It says this one's number four, but this one's labeled number three. And so what if my henchmen beat up that homeless guy? He's the one who stabbed me first. Remember? Besides, he made me miss the live show God damn it I had the whole thing planned There was gonna be a mariachi band

Alright, alright Thank you, Niggler What the fuck is going on? Let's do super chats We gotta, yeah We love you, Niggler Uh, studio How long do you think you're gonna feel good about yourself

Now that the Indiegogo is a success? Can I call it a success? It's a moderate success. What do you mean, can I call it a success? You got $25,000 to make a comic. You should do what I told you to do. Make posters? Don't say it.

Okay. You should do what I told you to do. It's not that. Okay. That's a good, for ROI. Does it work? We'll talk about it after the show. Think about it.

All right. You've seen it, right? Yeah, but I'll talk about it. All right. All right. It doesn't feel good having... It feels like it's on the right track. My worry is that it just ends.

You know? That it's like, alright, everybody wanted to buy it, bought it. Well, then what? You want more? Yes. How much more do you want? Well, like I said, I want to sell to a thousand people. That would be great.

Yeah. Close to that number. Here's what you might want to do. Redirect superkiller.org to the Indiegogo. Yeah. So you just can't go to the Indiegogo So that someone has a chance I put up a thing on the site Oh you did?

Yeah Okay Because I've been trying to find it For like three days And every time I have to go Wait check Make sure it's working Because I think

I think I even set up Cloudflare Although actually I don't know if Cloudflare works Superkiller.org God damn it Okay Page isn't working Okay so that's

That's going to be the one thing You want to do Too many redirects Good job Yeah so I need to fix that, so that's going to be the one thing you want to do. Too many redirects. Good job. Yeah, so I need to fix that. Let me guess. You got to put in www.superkiller.com. Some people fuck that up.

I think I, well, because I tried to set up Cloudflare, like you said, and I thought maybe it would just refresh by today, but I guess maybe not. Oh, I meant set it up correctly. Oh, okay. Sorry, that's my bad. I said it was working Yeah Okay so that's good So that means everyone

Who's gone to superkiller.org Just thinks it doesn't exist Okay Well I'm a fucking idiot Uh huh Alright Well anyway I gotta fix that

Now I'm all like Now I'm all excited Guys do get your Super chats in now Under the wire We're gonna read them for you but thank you everyone cool for five congratulations on surpassing your goal for super killer veto and dick my condolences for your pipes fuck you thank you for not killing yourselves you're welcome

koof jarvo for three it would have been five dollars if you were early oh he withheld two dollars from us why don't you kill yourself Jarvo No no Don't you fucking try to train me on your two dollars Suck my cock Actually you know what I had these banana stickers I was going to send everybody that gave five bucks a banana sticker But you've messed it up

You messed it up for everybody Because you gave three dollars So now no one gets a banana sticker because of you Maybe next time give five bucks Maybe I'm doing that promotion next time But I don't know I gets a banana sticker because of you Way to go Maybe next time give five bucks Maybe I'm doing that promotion next time but I don't know I want a banana sticker Horse McGee for five Hey it's the tubby fair

Come on down to the tubby fair Mother Hubbard stop poking me Don't come at me like that I'm the first baby a big bab Are you saying that you're skipping Everything that's under Three dollars now You skipped this one right Baby, a big bab. Are you saying that you're skipping everything that's under $3 now? Should I?

I mean, you skipped this one, right? Steve for two. The biggest problem is being late. All right. Sorry. Just making sure that you. Zane Barker for $4.99 says, I would have bought the collector's edition of Super Killer,

but Vito was late. I'm not late. We're here. We started the show a little late because Dick didn't press the button again. Or he put the wrong stream code in ASC presents for 10 The sewer saga of TDS The sewer side saga

Is what it's going to turn into Will be very entertaining at the least Dick always wins You just have to wait and see how Yeah I can't wait to see your big win On spending a bunch of money I have a fucking

You know in Goonies Where there's that ship That's what I've been dumping my shit into for the last seven years. The old pirate ship. Andrew Amy says, for five, says five bucks for the pipe fund. Thank you. However, all Super Chats are split evenly. So it's $2.50 for the pipe fund.

It's given to YouTube, too. So it's actually $2 for the pipe fund. Thanks a lot. I could buy some fucking dollars. $2 to the Super Killer $2 Thanks a lot I could buy some Fucking dollars to the Super killer fund Thank you so much Tool chest for two

Be Good to Dick Almost got me Good one And his pipe laying issues Nice try LP Dirty T For $9.99

Congratulations Vito On the project Dick can we get This old Fucking house series From your new found home Woes Monetize it,

make some tick tocks out of it. Of what? You go, my pipes are all fucked. And then you hit them with a wrench and then you list how much it's going to cost. And how much, why would people pay for that shit? Oh, the advertisers pay for it. Who? I don't know. They put ads on all that stuff. I don't know. They put ads on all that stuff. Scott Fletcher for $19.99 says, Hi, Dick. I'm glad you didn't kill yourself.

Vito, hello. So he's glad you didn't kill yourself. Me, I get a friendly hello. Good for you. I'm glad things went well for you. It did. Andrew Amy for $5. Five more dollars for Killdozer. Yes.

Killdozer 2. Riley Edwards for $5.50 Canadian. Vito, can you F-slurs name my boat? What would you name a boat, Dick? The hot... Ah, fuck. What? I was going to say.

Something bad? The slippery... You got to call it the slippery penis. But P-N-U-S. The slippery penis. Like that. You got to put a... Well, I was going to say the C...

What was it? Did you ever watch Arrested Development? Put Arrested Development reference. That's the name of the boat. Well, I think they named their boat the C word, like S-E-A-W-A-R-D. Oh, okay. I was trying to think if there was a way to do that with the N word, but I don't think it translates as well.

Well, sure. I mean, it's not as good of a pun. It's like N words, like the N word. The N words. The N word. Yeah, call it the N words, like, you know, coming inwards. Not onward. Yeah.

The onward. The onward. The N word. The onward's a pretty good name for a boat. Yeah. It's close enough. Pop quiz for- Slippery penis.

Yeah, slippery penis. Pop quiz for $19.99 says- Thank you. Nothing. Thank you, pop quiz. Legacy for $50. By Allah, let us have a call to prayer. Or you will have a taste of my shoe.

Are you aware of the Doctor Who magic cards? Have you seen the Lord of the Rings magic cards? That are coming soon? Allah has punished me twice. Twice? Yes. Allah has punished me twice? Three times.

Yes. Three times for Doctor Who. Doctor Who. Doctor Who. Doctor Who. Doctor Who. Doctor Allah. Burning a TARDIS and retard this. Retard this. Against Allah to be bigger on the inside than the outside.

Large, large inside. This is very haram. All Pokemon grounded in reality. Only Celebi, only Celebi, a sort of time-traveling Pokemon, only very minimal set of Pokemon can defy Allah. Only very few Pokemon can defy Allah's

ground physical realism. Magic is every card. Planes walking to any plane, a haram plane, Donald McDonald plane, total haram plane. A McDonald plane. Total bullshit gay plane. Doesn't matter. Only Celebi.

Only that other one woman that you want to fuck. Only Pokemon that you want to fuck. Excuse me. Can marry. Only Pokemon you want to marry. 72 Pokemon. 72 Pokemon. 72 Celebi.

72 Lopunny. You die. You commit violence against magic cards. You go to... I don't think it's called heaven. It's called something else. You have 72 Celebi for you to fuck. The elemental brain of the psychica Pokemon.

Time travel whore Pokemon. Not including Gardevoir and Kirill. Also, you can fuck a Kirill in Islam, because that's the little one. Little one. That's the little one also, the pre-evolution Pokemon. Even though they're the same age, same age, same age, you can evolution twice on the same turn, but you can still fuck the little one as well. Oh, no.

That's totally normal in it. Leave those poor creatures alone. That's can still fuck the little one as well. No, it's totally normal it leave those Fuck I'm a reap The sheep the electric sheep Maybe that's your dick maybe with your dad did Mohammed ride to heaven again The sheep? The electric sheep. Maybe. That's your dick. Maybe with your dick. What Pokemon did Muhammad ride to heaven again? The burrow.

Was it a zapdos? It was a burrow with wings. No, it wasn't a zapdos. It was a fucking little horse. It wasn't even a zebstrika. It was more of a... Toros. No.

It was a burrow. It was more of a Tauros. No, it was a burrow. It was a burrata. All right. John Rips for $4.99. Vito Weisenberg,

stretch goal for Super Killer X Isom. You teased it before. We know how it ends, but it would still be cool to

see. I'll pay it. If the Dicks show gets above $20,000, I'm going to commission a special. Super Killer versus Isam

Where he's going to Super Killer's going to have to attack the ghetto To lure Isam out like a trap He's going to have to team up with the Black Joker He's going to come into a universe Where Isam is the hero And he's going to have to team up with the Black Joker The Antichrist

Look, I think I've said my piece about eric july all the liquor stores people are asking me to finally review isom i should get a copy you're like all mr professional now that you're a success now i got no time bridges you know i'll do it it's really just about creating and you know anybody who's out there getting it done how can i say anything you know no i'm not mr professional yeah you are like i still have my problems with i just don't like the uh i don't i think i think he's a false savior man like everybody's looking for like again it's like a jordan peterson it's like this guy's gonna destroy everybody's waiting for like, again, it's like a Jordan Peterson. It's like, this guy's going to destroy the Marxists. Everybody's waiting for Superman.

Ha ha ha ha. Everyone is literally waiting for Superman. Uh-huh. This guy's going to destroy Marxists and make comics great forever. And I go, you know, he's going to make like a comic and it's probably going to be like, all right. And like. And it's worse.

If you want. Well, I'm going to say it's not that it's not going to be as good as super. It's not as good as super killer will be. That is my belief. I've thought about, you know what I'm going to do or I want to Killer. It's not as good as Super Killer will be. That is my belief. I've thought about, you know what I'm going to do? Or I want to do? I want to have the Super Killer Challenge where you can send your copy of I Saw Him No. 1 and I will send you a free copy of Super Killer in return.

When the book is out, anyone will be able to exchange their copy of I Saw Him No. 1. Because it sucks. Yeah, because it sucks. It sucks. Go, do you want to read something good? Send it to me. And I'm going to have a stack of like a couple hundred I SOMs. This is the most devastating thing I've ever heard.

And I want people to tell, I want people to say, I want them to read both. Because then you'll get to read both. You'll have already read Isom, and then you can read Superculture, and you can say, who is the true savior of indie comics? Is it a guy who's like, we're going to take back entertainment from the Marxists? Or is it a guy who goes- Is that how he talks? Guys, well, I don't know how he talks.

He has a very- Sounds like Hulk Hogan. He has a gruff way of talking. Or is it a guy who goes, guys Guys why don't we just make really good comics And then like The mainstream will be like Shit I didn't know you could make stuff that good And make money off it

I don't want to be a problem with that That's the problem The mainstream doesn't want to be a part of iSong Because they're like what do we do with this We're not going to make this into a movie We're going to make it into a megachurch Yeah it's It doesn't have legs

I don't think it has legs Tell me if I'm wrong Maybe you love it Let me know in the comments Well it sucks I mean it looks Everything about it Looks like it sucks

Half of it got leaked online So I read that half And I was like This is going nowhere But I do need to read It's like Steven Spielberg's Red Tails Who cares about

A bunch of black people Okay well that's not My critique Exactly I don't know why We had to go that way with it This is why I'm going to get cancelled Smack dab with a $5 tip

Thank you smack dab Eric Wong for five Home insurance sucks I had big AC ducts This feels like a trick And it is Had big AC ducts Damaged in storm

Insurance denied my claim I had to replace What did you have to replace, Dick? Well, two beefy air ducts But that's not See, beefy wouldn't have Just put beef If you've already got

If you've already got it Actually, it would have helped you To just put two beef air ducts Because then Vito would have read it Trying to humiliate you For typing it wrong Yeah, I would have been like You gotta do

What's beef air, idiot? Yeah Good try Umptimadoo for five Actually, Good try. Umpty madoo for five. Actually, terrible try. Umpty madoo for five. My dad says there's no way your plumbing will cost sub six figures. Okay, well, kill yourself and tell your dad to fucking kill himself.

Fuck you. Fuck you. All right. Thank you for your- Oh, thanks. I fucking thanks. Oh, wow. Thanks for the fucking tip.

Well, his dad said it. My fucking dad's. Your dad's fucking sucks cocks. If someone's dad says something, clearly. Go find your dad's internet search history and fucking print it out. Fuck you. Kill yourself. Wouldn't his dad know?

Blitzbeam for $4.99. Congrats on your project veto. Now you just got to lose weight and you'll be less miserable. Dick, move out of California so you won't deal with sewage issues. No, that's a good point. so you won't deal with sewage issues. No, that's a good point. I'll go buy a four-bedroom house in Idaho for $150,000.

I'll go up to Lake Priest where nothing freezes ever. No one in the Midwest has ever had basement problems. No, my dad's basement definitely didn't flood at least three times. No, no, no, no, no. What you're saying is asinine That's never happened Just sell your house Selling the house is more Than even your farcical

Retarded estimates for how much it's gonna Fucking cost I lost half my PS2 collection to a basement Flooding that was devastating Blitzbeam you kill yourself as well You and Umptimidu Everyone please keep chiming in with ways Dick can fix his sewage situation. I think he just needs more advice in the form of Super Chats.

I hate video games for five. Says, Vito, I think it's really interesting how you say interesting like interesting instead of interesting. Interesting. Interesting. I say it like interesting, too. Yeah, interesting. You don't really hit the T that interesting. Interesting. Interesting. I say, like, interesting, too. Yeah, interesting. You don't really hit the T that hard. Interesting.

Interesting. Sounds like Pinterest. Yeah, interest. Painful buggery for 10. Star Wars used to be cool until the EU had stupid stuff, like having every single alien in the most idly bar be named Club Shitto and have an elaborate story where they helped destroy the Death Star 2. I don't know.

I kind of think that was the cool part of Star Wars, though. Love Shih Tzu. Well, like, I remember I had the Jabba's Palace book, and it was like, remember that guy in the background, the bar, and he was drinking soup? Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to You literally look up the Star Wars soup guy. It's like a thing. AM 1202 for two. Get a free demon possession with every exorcism. Great.

Bob's the man for 10. If you want to tip Vito, add on the signature option. Yes, that's true. You can get my signature on the comic for just $5. As a bonus, signing 200 comics will be the most exercise he's gotten lately. Okay. Thank you so much. I actually have to sign. Thank you so much.

I actually have to sign like 500 things so far. I'm going to be getting quite an order. JK, love you, Vito. Vegetable spy for five. I can legally put a toll booth on my road. I own a decent chunk of the land the road is on. Is that how tolls work? No.

No, you can't do that. Of course not. Fatics the great for 10. Congratulations on the successful campaign, Vito. I love you too. I love you too. You're literally my family. Forever. That's what Asterios did. I want to hyper

the parasocial relationships. Yeah, that's what he did. We're legally in a relationship. You're my son. I want to adopt you. Like Daddy Warbucks. Thank you everyone for supporting your favorite big bro Vito, you know, or little brother, whatever, you know, maybe I could be your cousin or something. Yeah.

Your weird uncle. I'll be whatever you need and just give me money to make it happen. Eloy for 10. Vito, why do you hate Matan Evan? Oh, that's that kid who's been running around awesome I don't hate him I think I retweeted one thing saying this kid's a wearing out his welcome uh what did you mean by that I don't know I didn't think this new thing you better be careful I didn't think his new thing was that good Hassan Piker almost hit him yeah well that's yeah I guess

I guess pissing off Hassan P is worth money. He's like 15. Alright. No, he's not anymore. Now he's like 18. He's like a little boy. Yeah, well, he's just a kid who harasses the rich and famous. It's hilarious. They're out of touch assholes. You don't have TBF to those guys. Congratulations on the super killer campaign. Thank you. Good try. Good try, Eloy. I think

he's got a good thing going. I was just going to say TBF. It probably was. SV for 550. Vito, will you take care of me when you get a cool Ferrari from our super killer sales? Oh, you're coming to the pool party, baby. Everybody's invited to the pool party. Wait, is that a woman? We're all going to get tossed around. I think that's one of my little Bryan Singer twinks who's going to get tossed around at the pool party.

SV? Maybe it is. Looks like a woman. Yeah, but that could be a picture of anybody. Maybe. You're invited to the pool party We'll toss you around Not my pool party Gotta be boys only

Pretty soon below your house is gonna be a pool party If you keep it up Pool party shit One giant shit pool Christina waited for 10 I pissed I tipped thinking it was going to veto Send me a message I'm pissed not I pissed Yeah well I fucking was going to veto Send me a message I'm pissed Not I pissed

Yeah well I fucking Read it wrong Anyway send me a message And I will Tell you how to Get your tip money back You just gotta send A message to support

And they'll fix it Rydog Call them the n-word Don't call them the n-word That's not gonna help My campaign If everyone goes To Indiegogo

What is that girl's name? What this one? Center? No Julie Center Or is that girl's name? What, this one? Center? No, Julie Center or something. What was her name? Yeah, Julie Bindle. Say, hey, you dumb bitch. Why don't you stop playing with your kids and figure out how to run a fucking company,

you stupid whore? I got to send a message out about the tips. Why would someone do that? What's wrong with them? Right on. Doesn't her husband see what she's up to? All these companies are doing this stuff, man. They're all psychopaths. Yeah, but why did she do it?

Her husband probably told her to. I don't know. That doesn't sound like something a husband would do. Rydog likes your movie idea. For five, he calls it Oops! All Wolverines. I'd watch that. That's cool. Lemon Trashy for two. More like X-Men Gaze of Future Ass.

That's very funny. That's very good. Fetty's soul past I have no idea How much money this is But it's red Which means it's at least Fifty dollars What's an ARS

What is an ARS Why does it not just Automatically tell us How much it is Uh An Argentine peso Okay So point

Oh oh How many did he give us Two thousand of them What the fuck is going on With my mouse You gotta get a new mouse. Ralph Ralphed on it. Yeah.

That's nine bucks? It must be 20,000. No, 2,000. 2,000. Wait. 22.50. $10. Well, how's it $10?

Why is it red? I guess because it's just a lot of money for someone in Argentina. Okay. Well, thank you. Whatever amount of money it is, thank you. Hey, Vito, when is that Toshio Maeda super killer cover getting released? Move it, come on.

Bro, they're all coming out at the same time. What are you talking about? It's on the page. Yeah, but when's the good stuff coming out? It's all coming out at the same time. It's not going to get, I'm not going to stagger step. When's the rape stuff coming out? The rape comic will be out next week, okay? Everybody can read the rape comic. Alright, alright. What happened to that guy who was making a super killer rape comic will be out next week. Okay? Everybody can read the rape comic.

All right. What happened to that guy who was making a super killer rape comic? That was happening. Remember? That guy sent him that fan comic? Yeah. He probably did. He bitched out.

Like always. Like everybody always fucking bitches out. You got to stick with your creative projects, people. T.R. and Tones for five Aussie dollars. Having your birthday on the 4th of May is the worst. Instead of people buying me beers, they talk nerd instead. So you get like a bunch of like... Roofie dollars. Having your birthday on the 4th of May is the worst. Instead of people buying me beers, they talk nerd instead. So you get like a bunch of like... Roofie them.

Send you a Baby Yoda card. Happy birthday for you. Happy to you. So fucking funny. You're welcome For 15 US dollars What do you guys think

About the Idub Sam Hyde drama Congrats to Vito For launching The super killer Indiegogo Can't believe you got A Forbes article about that Well Forbes was very

Interested in my success I talked to some Of the top executives there And they think it's got legs Forbes It's a buddy of mine Who wrote it for me What do you guys want

What do I think About the drama I think it's stupid That Idub is mad at Sam Hyde I don't get why he's mad at him Because Idubz sucks and is gay And Sam Hyde is cool Sam Hyde like goofed on him

With that whole like tricking him into coming out thing Well he didn't trick him into coming out Idubz was going to sandbag him and embarrass him And Sam Hyde just outclassed him And Idubz realized how pathetic he was and his wife is fat and disgusting and has a lantern jaw like Buzz Lightyear. Idubbbz wife's face is fat like a Mexican, but she's not Mexican. She's got all the worst traits of being Mexican and Persian, but I think she's neither.

Her Idubbbz wife is so fat. I don't want's neither Idubb's wife is so fat Vito, Vito Idubb's wife is so fat that her mouth Has too much room for her teeth You know? Like a child drawing teeth In a mouth Did you know that bitch She removed my watermark

Yeah You know how fucking horrible that is? You go to a, you do this all the time. You take an artist and you cut their watermark off so nobody knows who did it. Well, I don't want them to get harassed, you know, specifically sometimes. Idubbb's wife, Idubbb's fat cam whore wife cut my, cut my name off of my joke and then posted it on her page. She goes, I can't believe that someone would call me fat and then posted my joke with my name cut off.

That's my fucking, I made that joke. I wrote that joke. It's my fucking copyright. That's my name. You're fucking taking me off of my art. You could have gotten so much credit for calling her fat. It's my name. You're fucking taking me off of my art. Stone's hour, really. You could have gotten so much credit for calling her fat. It's my joke. It's not funny to remove an artist's name from their work,

especially when it has affected a fat woman. I don't know if this is a copyright thing or... Would you go, would you take like a piece of art and then cut the name off of it and go, hey, check this out? That would be horrible. I'm sorry you didn't get credit for calling iDubbbz wife fat dick. But now you get to do it here.

I called her a fat cam whore. Yeah. And I implied that she was running the boxing thing, which she is. Which her twink, balding, and malding F-slur, husband, cuck, cry dubs. All right. All right. I would rather, if I was a kid, I'd rather die of cancer than have this slur and his fat whore raise money for me. That's all I'm saying.

Is that so crazy? If I was a kid, if I was a kid and i was dying they're like well this this meth addict this trailer park meth addict twink with no hair who comes it forward yeah and who looks like a cracker jacks tattoo who's molding at sam hyde eternally for the rest of his life and this pumpkin head this potato head bitch this potato head whore that he's quote unquote married to want to raise money for your cancer. What do you think I would say?

Pass. I don't know. What do you think about that though? The punchline was pass. I think you have clearly thought about this situation. I haven't thought about it at all. I'm just saying, don't fucking take my name off my jokes. That's my fucking joke.

I do think. I don't cover, I don't Photoshop off your tattoos on your fat ass. Right. When I take them to homeless guys and drag your picture behind my truck to lure homeless guys to their death because no one else would want to fuck such a fat whore. I don't do that. I don't Photoshop your tattoos out when I do that, so don't take my fucking name off my tweets. Just leave my name on your fucking tweets.

I'm not on this show. What's so bad about that? I'm not here. What's so bad about that? I have nothing to do with any of this. I just don't understand why Crydubs and his fat wife would fucking Photoshop my name off my tweets. I said it. At least give me some credit.

Jesus. All right. Well, that's a burn. Bridge burned. Fucking photoshop my name off my tweets I said it At least give me some credit Jesus Alright well That's a burn Bridge burned I'm not getting a Bridge burned with whom? Creator clash ticket anytime soon What do you want to fight Boogie? Yeah I don't know

I'm lucky I hope that Boogie has a heart attack in the ring I'm sorry I'm genuine I say this in the I say this in the nicest way possible I say this I love Boogie I say this in the nicest way possible. I say this. I love Boogie.

I say this in the nicest way possible. I love Boogie. I love kids with cancer, but I genuinely hope that Boogie has a heart attack in the ring and that he dies because the ambulance is not rated for his weight. That's all. Aren't you happy that Boogie's in his best place? He's getting in shape. I'll buy most of his teeth.

When he has a heart attack and cried up. Oh, no, wait. Is that a Keemstar event? That's a Keemstar event, yes. I still hope he dies. Okay. But I'm not going to do the rest of it. It would be funnier if he died in an iDubbbz event.

I mean, Sam Hyde would make more money, and that all I All I care about In life Is Pussy My sewage Getting connected To the city sewer line Yes And Sam Hyde Sam Hyde making money

Alright That's all I care about I thought I said Sam Hyde first But then I realized It wouldn't be funny If I said it first Rule of threes Or it would be funnier

That's Dick's take And I would say It's fucking disgusting I think he just Should make up with Sam Hyde I don't know why He's tank And I would say It's fucking disgusting I think he just Should make up with Sam Hyde I don't know why He's got such a sticker On his ass

It seems stupid Sam Hyde trolled you A little bit That's fun It's funny You're a comedian You should like that You should be honored

That he tried to Get you to do squats And stuff He's cool and nice It's really funny He hired a woman To pretend to be A crack whore

And you wanted to like And you were like like, and you were like trying to save her. You were trying to save her because you thought that that was an upgrade from your fat whore. Right? Is that why? Like, how did he not realize he was being, if anything, he made items look really stupid that items fell for all that shit. Cause he's retarded. Anyone with a brain would have been like,

all right, Sam, you're doing a bit. I get it. I mean, you kind of always do bits and fuck with people, so you're obviously doing bits and fucking with me here because I came here to fuck you over. Usually I'm the puppet master in these situations. Usually I'm the puppet master in these such situations. I don't know how he didn't figure it out immediately. It was like pretty.

Because he's an F-sler. Because his wife has buried her fat tendrils in his head like your rape porn cover. Exactly. Rape porn cover. Crydub's wife is like

a funhouse mirror that just never gets funny. Alright. Caref Fro for 10 says, great stream as always. Thank you, Cara. Britsman for two says, drinking game. Take a shot every time Vito wipes his eyes. Why do you wipe your eyes so much?

Why don't you get contacts? Now you got all this super killer money. I think I'm wiping my eyes because I laugh and then my eyes tear up from the. Because you're laughing at, you're laughing at Idubbb's fat wife. You are laughing at it. I'm just saying hateful things just for the sake of it. You're laughing genuinely. That's why.

Lord of the Kino for two. Steel Man the case for incest. Grace Thorpe is a cutie. What the fuck? I don't know. You're not enough money. Justin Kent for two. It says sell XL tall shirts, you nerds.

Okay. Alright. Somebody was mad that I didn't offer medium shirts as part of my campaign. I'm like, I know my guys, man. How many mediums? I mean, I guess, should I make some mediums? Sure. I started at large. There's a lot of guys out there. Yeah, maybe I'll make some mediums. I figured, but I thought medium guys

could wear a large and it doesn't matter. It's like the same thing. No, it's's You have to wear The size that you are What the hell are you Talking about Guys Medium guys Can wear a large

It doesn't fit right A lot of people Just start the shirts At large Because there's not You think just everyone Who's skinnier than you Is like a

One size fits all I've never worn a medium Shirt in my life So I have no idea What that's like And I don't believe Those people exist Well

I'll see if I can add mediums It might be too late. Spider Eternal. The problem is also, whatever, I'm getting in the weeds. Spider Eternal for five. A homeless guy screamed at me on a bus for having legs too long for his liking. People don't know how to throw a punch, let alone any kind of grapple. Yeah.

Stu K for five. Enough for half a poo pipe. I don't know what that means. Antagonist for five. Hey, Dick. Hey, Vito. Where do we send these stingers toagonist for five. Hey, Dick. Hey, Vito. Where do we send these stingers to? Great show today.

Keep it up. Send your stingers. Send them to Dick Masterson at gmail.com because I got to go log into the other one to get them anyway. So just send them to me. Okay. I'll have people send them to you from now. Utah based Armenian for two.

What kind of name is Singer? Better check his wiki. I already checked What is it Brian Singer? What is it? Just guess Goldswitz? Goldenwitz?

It's the worst one What is it? Okay You don't need to Killing Jesusowitz? Is that his name? It's one of those Early life

Let's see You already had it It was right there It was at the top Early life He grew up in a Jewish household In New Jersey There you go

Oh What's his name though? I think it might still be Singer I think Singer could be a Jewish name Oh He was adopted He was adopted Oh so that doesn't even count

There you go He could have been anything Wow He was so Jewish His parents were like No Oy vey Get him out

He's too Oy he's too Jewish I don't know what ethnicity he is's too Jewish He's a jivic He looks kind of Jewish I guess I'm just joking Fuck you guys with this early life shit What's wrong with you Hit refresh we'll check a couple more super chats

Come on fuck What was I gonna say I was gonna say Mr. Girl's new song Banned from Apple Music Speaking of antisemitism and pedophiles. Well, I'm not saying that. Uh, Andy,

of course, don't forget to vote on all the problems. I don't know why my fucking problem dot show. I think it's the mouse pad actually. No, it's not. No, you just got,

I think Ralph threw up on your mouth. Mess something up. Fuck. Buy another mouse with all your sewer money. Uh, I think Ralph threw up on your mouse. Ralph messed something up. Fuck. Buy another mouse with all your sewer money. What do you call it? You buy a fucking mouse. You buy a fucking mouse.

Don't forget to head to Indiegogo. You can find the link on my Twitter. Fuck. I'll probably put it in the description of this episode so you can find the Indiegogo campaign. And get yourself a copy of my comic, which is now available. Oh, this thing's going to die, too. Jesus Christ. I'm stopping the show, and I'm doing drugs.

We've got to read the last couple. I fucking swear to God, I don't care. James Carter for $19.99. Congratulations, Vito. Give your money to DM for pipe stuff. What pipe stuff? What is this pipe shit? Yeah, do it. David Gomez for $2.

Can I send a set of Kooffies for the call to prayer? Send them in. Find Dick's P.O. box It's these goddamn Amazon batteries Do we literally Have no mouse You can't even end the show

If you don't have a mouse Well I guess it's never Going to end We have no way To end the show There there there I got it I got it I got it I got it

Enough poopy Okay Mike Hunt for five Women's inability to share Physical space in a house Is the biggest problem Yes PW Project for five Mr Women's inability to share physical space in a house is the biggest problem. Yes. PW Project for five.

Mr. Masterton, my dad says TBF to the contractors. Clap Trap to the Star for $4.99. Man, I love the biggest problem in the universe. Guys, what a show. Goodbye. Goodbye. Take care of yourself. Don't kill yourself.

If you made any jokes at my financial expense, then kill yourself. Bye, Super Killer. Now available on Indiegogo. Bye-bye.