The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 97

Episode Date: July 7, 2023

Silverware Scraping on Plates, Drug Dummies, Activist Ice Cream, Pretending We Hate Cancel Culture

Pee commerce or whatever you're gonna install all that shit Yeah, oh shit there it goes it transitions shop. It really needs to stay on there forever Yeah, tell me who do you have the video file I can fix it Yes I want to say yes, it should go forever Right. Well, it should say prepare for the show to start it shouldn't cut to random black It lets you prepare for five seconds. Transition.

There, see that? See, that's terrible. Yeah, don't have it cut to blank. Somebody else made one. They really want me to use it. I think I pissed them off by not using it. The one of me. Yeah, I know, but I'm like.

They posted it on Reddit. It's not a good intro to a show. Nobody wants to get prepared for a show With like this nerve wracking Like screaming and me tied to a chair And there's like cats yowling Like that's It's funny I get it But it's not a good intro to a show

It's like oh god Somebody made an intro for the show And it's like me tied up or something Crying No one wants That's not a good way To start a show Right

I appreciate the artistry That went into it I guess Somebody did Whoever made that They posted it on the Reddit Don't forget More people should be Hanging out at

Reddit.com Slash biggest prom Where I like to interact With the fans I like to say hi Oh you like to interact On Reddit A little

Well sometimes I fucking hate reddit i like message boards yeah i miss message boards yeah i used to have when i was a kid man i was all about hitting up the forums you know posting a thing checking back seeing if somebody else posted a reply yeah i love it and now everybody's like we'll just use discord i'm like no it's a chat room it's like yeah, it's not like organized and topics disappear. Right. Twitter then.

What about threads? I just use threads. I got threads, but I'm not going to use them. No one's going to use that shit. Well, you say that. Who knows? It's going to come down to, what do you call it? I mean, some people, isn't there a new, so there's a new CEO for Twitter? Is that what's happening? Yeah, that lady. And she's going

to come in and get rid of all the hate speech again. It's going to be this constant yo-yo, I assume. I don't know. You can say the N-word, you can say, you know, F-slur or whatever. You can say the C-word now. Now you can't, yeah, exactly. Now you can't. Give me a list. People are letting it fly today. There's been a lot of stuff on Twitter that I am surprised you can just say. Not me. Not you. No, we would get banned immediately. Should we start the show?

Sure. Let's do it. Damn it. The only show that ranks every problem in the universe from Googling the answer to stealing from kids with cancer. It's a pretty good one. I'm your host, Dick Masterson. Joining me as always is Vito Gisualdi. Hi, Bam. That's a pretty good one. I'm your host, Dick Masterson. Joining me as always is Vito Gisualdi. Hi, Dick.

That's a great one. That was a better one. Stealing. Charity fraud's really going around. Cancer and answer? That's a classic rhyme right there. Yeah. See, I dubs.

Oh, God, he screwed up. Yeah. Turned out crying. Turned out nobody wants to see that dumb boxing shit but one time. I said that that influencer boxing is the stupidest thing in the world, and I don't know why they keep doing it. I said they should have influencers around. Because it's hard to make comedy.

It's easy to pretend to box. I'm doing it right now. Look, ask me about my training. Yeah, it's true. Why get a bunch of internet comedians and then have them do something that is inherently not really that funny? Even Boogie, a big, fat piece of shit that funny Even Boogie a big fat piece of shit Fighting wings another big piece

Fat piece of shit I'm like yeah that's kind of funny But it's also just like really pathetic Yeah I'm not like Going back like oh I gotta watch the fight again So I can laugh again I'm like I don't want To watch that that was humiliating for everyone involved But don't you want to see who the next Big battle of influencers

Is? No Wow look at this battle But don't you want to see who the next big battle of influencers is? No. Wow, look at this battle. I'm glad iDubbbz lost money. I hope it puts an end to this garbage. Yeah. I didn't watch the video. Did he give a breakdown of why he lost money?

He said it was because of people pirating the stream that they didn't get enough pay-per-views. People not paying. Yeah, people not paying. People not paying. When people don not paying. People not paying. When people don't give you money, you don't make money. Why'd your business fail? Well, people didn't pay.

Yeah. As odd as it is. People didn't buy the product I had to offer. And I bought my wife a big party, and I had to pay a stand-up comedian to entertain all the celebrities. Didn't they have a big party at the end? Yeah.

They brought in a comedian To entertain the comedians Yeah That makes sense It's great You know what it is though And I was thinking about it It's another

Eric Gilles situation Where you go Listen man The money runs out Yeah Just stop throwing it away Yeah You could've

You probably could've Made a profit on that show If he was just like Oh yeah You know A little tighter with the money But these guys go Ah no it'll make it back I'll make it back and then they lose their

fucking shirt and buy it because they bought a warehouse and another van or if they just did like I'm gonna sit on my stream and beg you to give money to charity yeah that would be good stop with the charity shit also yeah I was talking about that the other day is that all these like

these guys go well we we gotta do it for charity No do it for yourself I'm so successful And I know you guys have Just an abundance of money Right So why don't you Give money away

No fuck that Pay the boxers to box Does Colin What's his name The UFC guys Aren't giving their money Away to charity or anything They just take the fight purse

And go home with it Why does everything Have to fucking be for charity What You gotta make a bunch of money Before you can start going See, guys aren't giving their money away to charity or anything. They just take the fight purse and go home with it. Why does everything have to fucking be for charity? You've got to make a bunch of money before you can start going, oh, it's for charity. This show's not for charity. And then you give your money to charity. You don't give other people's money. We're doing this real complicated thing. See, these guys are boxing, and they all have charities, and they're boxing for charity.

No one's going gonna pay for it uh and we're also buying a hotel and we're gonna put you in a hotel and then we're hiring a comedian to entertain you to process the trauma of the fighting the charity is all the the taxes that are gonna get ripped out of your hands and sent to ukraine okay you're already supporting charity you don't need to add more charity to it okay i hate when people send me an email ripped out of your hands and sent to Ukraine, okay? You're already supporting charity. You don't need to add more charity to it, okay? I hate when people send me an email and say, like, hey, can you post this? It's a cult charity. Yeah, can you help fund me? I'm like, no.

Yeah. No. No. You do it. I'll only do it if it's, like, for a dying animal. In that case, I'm like, all right. I sent a guy $50. Okay, but I am a little...

Alright, what do you do if somebody's like, I need money to take my cat to the vet? I'm like, oh, well, you know, I don't want your cat to be sick. I hang up on him. So I sent him... I sent him $50. And he goes, I took him to the vet, and the vet said that he needed to be put down. A little more money. No, they want... They

euthanized the cat. I'm like, oh. So do I get the $50 back? Or... You just gonna pocket? No, they want, they, they, they euthanized the cat. I'm like, oh, so do I get the 50 back? He's going to pocket. No, I'm sure. You have to pay some vet bills as well. Last week. Charity fraud. Number one.

It's a good one. Yeah. Of all the fraud that they're doing. I've been talking to people behind the scenes about this charity fraud. I don't want this to become like a trend, and I'm worried it will be. It already is. I'm worried that all these indie comics guys are going to go, hey, I'm donating my shitty comic to charity.

You can also give me money. Yeah. And they're all going to inflate their campaigns and be like, look at how much money we raised for charity. It's like, you didn't raise money for charity. You raised books for charity. You raised money for you. Yeah, you raised money for you.

You did what's called a half price sale. If more people start doing this, I'm going to be very upset. It is like an obvious scam and it is bad. I know. Source snobs, number two. People had some real strong opinions about that one. There's a lot of people, yeah.

Going both ways, but at least I came and people did seem to upvote that one. They did vote it up. I agree with that one. Trivial cheating, number three. There's a lot of argument about how to name that problem. Oh, yeah. Well.

Maybe you would have gotten higher if it had a more clever name. I don't care. This one makes no sense why it's negative. How is that negative? Well, I think because they wanted you to say

more racist things. That doesn't matter. It doesn't make it less of a problem just because I wasn't racist about it. Because I think that they suspect you think it's the test. It doesn't matter what I think. It doesn't matter. What matters is that it's a problem. Well, that's, you know, it's a problem.

That's why you're experiencing this, what's happening here. Okay, what was the problem? Like if the wage gap was the black-white test score gap. Yeah, that's a problem, guys. Go vote that up. I don't care how you think I feel about it. Okay, it is still obviously a problem. Well, but I think they want you to be more specific, which is fair.

Yeah, I know. They want me to pull open a copy Of the bell curve and start reading Whatever the hell okay what's that I don't Know and we're not gonna talk about it stop it Uh Yeah Yeah they want they want me to get some Facts they want more figures and

Statistics I get it um Because you could say like well people getting killed Is a problem but um Hank well Who's who are you talking about And why no, well, people getting killed is a problem. But I'm like, well, who's who are you talking about? And why? Just like who's getting killed? What do you mean? They could be a bad guy.

The point of the show. The point of the show is to define a problem. It's not always to define what caused the problem or the solution. It's about identifying the problem. And I think we all agree that black people scoring worse on tests than white people is a problem. Well, people get to agree with you. Not as many racists in this audience as you thought, I think. Boanne said, Vito, you totally fucked dick on that popcorn.

True. Fuzznut, ha ha ha. Sorry. Ha ha ha ha. You did us dirty with the weigh-in. I did do everyone dirty with the weigh-inin Oh yeah, when do we actually announce that? Should we do it at the end of the show? It's such a cock tease, isn't it?

You want to just get it out of the way? It's up to you We can do it at the end Alright, we'll do it at the end If we get enough super chats We'll do it at the end of the show Super chats, we'll do it Place wagers in the chat right now

Did veto Yeah, here, I'm going to put up a poll Make weight Right now How do I do that Start a poll Did Vito Lose 5 pounds

I don't know Did Vito lose 5 pounds Or more Ask your community I think people are going to be surprised The end of my rope Vito's right on the debate shit Ask your community. Oh, yeah, we're more. I think people are going to be surprised. The end of my rope. Vito's right on the debate shit. You took the peculiar position of scientists should not debate a layman for the mass consumption of other laymen.

Right. To try to dispel rumors and myths. And I was correct. The end of my rope says Vito's right on the debate shit, but why won't, and he's doing a quotes, so he's making a really, he's doing a really good debate tactic by mocking the other. Right. But why won't the accomplished vaccine scientists debate the lunatic conspiracy theorist on

a podcast run by a guy who flip-flops about the moon landing being real? Right, that's what we're asking. He's on my side. Yeah, you can go into that scenario like that with the position that breathing is important and quote lose because the game they're playing is shout at you about things you'd need 10 to 15 minutes to explain to them while they say no no no no no you're just lying yeah is that right it's all performative stupidity that's why you have to do it as a comedy show. Anyone who takes debate seriously. Yeah.

That's funny. I was arguing with Josh Denny. Did you watch Destiny debate those pro-life girls? No, I don't watch that whatever show. Okay. I can't. Did you see any clips from it or anything? No.

Although all the audience, like, you know, again, it was they were debating pro-life and they're like, people were in the comments like, man, I'm pro-life, but I have to listen to these two harpies go on and on, I just want to go strangle a baby. Like, doesn't he clearly won? But then I'm talking to Josh Denny. He's like, no, he lost on everything. Blah, blah, blah.

And I'm like, oh, so debate is pointless because no matter what, even whatever side you're on, you're just going to come out of being like, yeah, my side won. Well, it doesn't, you know, one's minds is really changed. Pro-life though I don't know if anyone's Life is gonna change Yeah Yeah

Babies aren't people I do think the abortion side Should just say like Yeah it's murder We don't We don't want them Fuck you guys Yeah it's murder

We're evil But it's like It's like inconsequential murder It's like we murder A lot of stuff See don't put any Provisos on it just so like yeah we're evil You ever watch those videos where they have the machine

That like baby chicks come through And it's like you know but they only want the female Ones cause they're the ones that lay eggs and get really Fat and big so they can sell them as Chickens so it's just like a machine that just like Every time it sees Like a big arm just like swipes it into a grinder. The machine's like, boy, boy, boy, girl, you can keep going down the fucking thing.

Boy, boy, boy. And you're like, listen, we live in a world where that's a reality. I don't like that. I don't like that that exists. No, but like you don't care, you know. It just, like, literally throws them in, like, a big grind-up machine. Do feminists know about that this technology exists? I hope not. Don't tell them because they'll be using it.

It's like, look, there are great horrors on this earth, okay? Like, what are you going to fucking do? The last thing I'm worried about is killing a fetus. Jesus Christ. Like, what are you going to fucking do? The last thing I'm worried about is killing a fetus. Jesus Christ. Because Boost says, Vito, buddy, I love you, but your logic,

if a scientific professional says it's completely safe and we should be feeding poison to kids, then we should just do it without debate. You're completely disregarding how bought and paid for some professionals can be. Dick can be as charismatic as he wants But it doesn't make it any less true That not debating the merits of truth With the experts and making them prove their work

Is the only way the working class Can decide what is actually good for them If you can't disprove idiots Then they seem to not be so idiotic How about that argument? I challenge RFK to a spelling contest And if he gets it right If he loses he has to drop out of the presidential race

Because that's about how equally valid The Specter of debate is I challenge him to a balloon blowing up contest Like it's fucking meaningless It is not a legitimate skill To be able to yell over people Okay

That's not how we communicate ideas Like do you not think that there's this growing sentiment of like the earth is flat and nuclear bombs aren't real because no one will just sit these guys down and explain basic shit to them they don't listen they don't want to we live in a time where uh being going against the grain is considered, you know, a virtue regardless. Okay. Don't cut your fucking hands off. And there'll be a part of the human mind that goes like, huh, why don't they want me to cut my hands off?

It's probably a secret plot. You know, would you not want that explained to those guys? Because it doesn't matter. There's just is a content. I was looking it up for one of the problems where it's just like no matter what you tell people there's a certain number of people oh it was for like you know how they do like diversity in the workplace seminars you know yeah like it's like hey listen just don't grab women by the ass and don't call your black co-worker the n-word or whatever else okay or ask to touch their hair people instinctively have this like thing where they're like if i do what they tell me i'm

no longer an individual And I'm going along With the status quo So they will say the N word more? No yeah It'll make them like worse Like some people Will just come out of

Like and fully reject All of it Cause they don't want To get put in a box And that's That's what humanity Has become Is anytime we're like

Hey we've invented a drug That's gonna save your life And the environment And whatever else You idiots go Ow actually If I take, you guys are the sheep taking the medicine that will save you. And I'm the smart one. I don't want to take the vaccine.

How come the pharmaceutical company, knowing all this smart stuff that you're saying, how come the pharmaceutical companies put so many billions of dollars into telling people to take their medicine then, if that will just have the opposite effect. Because they honestly believe they could overcome the human drive towards stupidity, but they should have just, honestly, our drug companies should have just gone in reverse. They should have said, only rich people are allowed to have the vaccine. If they had done that, all you dummies would be like, what the fuck? That's not fair. I want one. It would be like What the fuck That's not fair

I want one It would be like Nope You have to make over A million dollars a year Or you can't get the vaccine And you guys would have All went nuts

About the conspiracy And then they would have went Okay fine I guess you poor pieces of shit Can have one too And you all would have Lined up and took it That's what they should have done

Yeah They should have run A classic reverse psychology scheme And it would have It would have absolutely worked If I told you right now There's a miracle drug, and only rich people are allowed to take it, you'd be like, what the fuck's going on? Well, it is Ozempic.

Either that or get it from China. Adrenochrome, actually, is the drug you're describing. If adrenochrome works, I want some. So somebody go scare a child for me and take their medicine. Sandor Clegan says, Vito, just stopped drinking soda and other sugary drinks and you'll drop 20 pounds almost immediately I saw your phone 140 calories for you know I had many diet sodas up

there no all you have is diet coke I'm tired of diet coke Dan Dastardly says I really enjoyed the Indiana Jones Dial of Destiny review it's on Vito's channel yes go on over to youtube.com slash Vito to watch me and Dick review Indiana Jones.

We're talking about maybe reviewing Barbie when that comes out. Yeah, that'll be fun. You know, I gotta figure out if we can get advanced tickets or not. It's a trans allegory, right? Everything's a trans allegory, Dick. Gotta be. I'm not interested if it's not a trans allegory. Let's see. You got anything?

Do you want to have this argument now? What argument? About the big live show Oh yeah Okay So here's the deal Oh yeah We want to do a big live show Uh huh

You know to celebrate The show's been going And it's very popular And everybody's happy Yeah My proposal Is that we would do it For episode 107

Right Which would coincide With the previous iteration Of the show Final episode Where the final episode Was number 107 So 107 is a number

That has deep significance To the show Dick wants to do it For episode 108 A number that is One more than More than the number That is important

Something to celebrate Right Like you don't You don't celebrate That you both That you tied The other first place One more than the number that is important Something to celebrate Right? Like you don't celebrate that you tied The other first place You're like yeah we tied for first place Awesome You're like I'm one better than you That's me

I'm celebrating that I think the point is that It's episode 107 But there's still a bright future As opposed to it being a dour weird sad show with uh what do you call it maddox and hysteria was pretending you don't exist it's like an alternate reality where episode 107 was actually exciting and a new chapter and a whole podcast network was about to start off it's like a replacement episode Yeah, okay

But then what if I die after that? Then it's tied for the same Then it's way worse Then it's infinitely more sad But if I died after 108 There would be no debating What we should do Well, people in the chat

Maybe you need to make another poll Do we do episode 107 of Big Live Show Or is it episode 108? I think it makes sense that it's episode 107. That's the meaningful number as opposed to 107 plus one. Oh, but we went further than the old show. It's like, oh, you're commemorating. But people like, they celebrate like in baseball and sports and stuff.

And even in TV, They celebrate when they beat The old record like they don't celebrate Getting the old record Don't they don't celebrate a tie There's like I'm now the longest running sitcom They don't say like we're now also The longest running sitcom on Television history I think the point

Is that there's like a thematic connection Is that you can listen to the old Episode 107 which is a sad Sackatic connection is that you can listen to the old episode 107, which is a sad sack of boring shit, or you can listen to a new episode of 107, which is like, wow, what about a universe where the successful comedy podcast didn't fall apart for no reason?

I've never listened to that episode. Oh, really? No, I haven't listened to most of them. I've listened to it. Man, you gotta listen to it at some point. Maybe we could listen to it at the party Maybe we could have a listening party A live I forget how long that episode is

I don't know I can't believe that Asterios agreed to that episode Well It's a little peculiar I was like Man, that's kind of like a scumbag Fucking move from that guy It's like, hey listen, I'm doing a final episode and my co-host isn't going to be here

and you're going to replace him for some reason. And we're going to pretend nothing happened. And he just went along with it. Shouldn't even went. No, that's fucked and weird. And everyone's going to be like really confused and mad. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, honestly, he doesn't get enough. He doesn't get enough shit For appearing on that Episode 107 And we went No that's fucking insane Just end the show It's a little odd If you're ending the show

You just end the show You don't do A special Goodbye episode With just me Yeah And not the other guy That'd be like

If the Cosby show Was still on After you know He got booted off for rape And then he just did one episode where Mr. Cosby Didn't show up Or they did a reunion without him 30 year reunion but he's not gonna be there

It's just his grandpa He died of jazz cancer I can't believe he did that episode He could've just put out a statement and said the show's over He literally thought He was gonna do like a big like Oh well this will be a good thing for the fans No that's awful for the fans

Yeah that's what I thought If anything it's just raising more questions and pissing them all off Yeah well That's what ended up happening He could have also just went to you and said Let's do one final show And I'll just tolerate you through it And it'll be fine and then we'll just go our separate ways.

Yeah. That would have been good too. But like, listen, I want to end the show. I know me and you will do one more episode and then peacefully go our own way. That's it. Yeah. Would you have done that if you said that? Sure. Yeah. I don't care. Alright. Steady did the weirdest possible thing.

Which we should commemorate by doing our own episode 107, but apparently the audience wants a big 108 for some stupid i'm not looking at it i haven't looked at it yet we'll look at it at the end of the show all right we're gonna do a lot of stuff at the end are you doing a thing before we get into our problems yes i have my favorite segment vote it up It's so lazy All you can do is get out your parents And make them bleed You know what will happen If you don't zone it up on time This is awkward too Might be a little bit

Zone it up on time This problem doesn't show Just go to the side Ooh, wow, wow All right, your man Martian Who did that stinger? Your man Martian did Your man Martian

Guys, it's voted up where we visit past problems And put them in a new light One of those problems actually came from bonus episode number three The biggest episode in 2021. Problem you brought in, Dick, called Elliot Page's topless pics. Oh, wow. Which you considered one of the worst parts of 2021. This will be the second time I get kicked off YouTube for showing a topless man, by the way.

We can show this. Elliot Page's new memoir, Page Boy, has just hit shelves. The newly released memoir, Chronicles Page Journey journey or the story of my untangling, intimately detailing his acting career, love life, heartbreaks, fractured family relationships, and the self-discovery that led to him first coming out as queer in 2014 and more recently as transgender. Page has been celebrating the release of their new book With photos posted to their Instagram feed Showing off their confident new look Let's go to those photos

Alright Very confident Confident individual There we go Look at that Wow TGIF is that what TGIF with a little bit of Elliot

Take it home with you folks Thank god it's what with you folks Thank god It's what's the joke Thank god I finally transitioned Into my truest self Yeah As I think what that stands for

Well that's just a good looking guy He's got He's got abs Well yeah It's easy for Trans men to get abs Yeah cause they don't eat enough They just have to not drink

And eat every day Yeah Looking good Looking good Looking good I think there was One other photo Let's really Alright

Okay Yeah Look at that cool chain Wow That is just a Transition to a man From the 90s I got the

Nice short hair Look at these Tight little pantaloons That he's wearing Right Right Okay That's cool Elliot Sweatpants This is truly Short hair Look at these Tight little pantaloons That he's wearing Right Right on here

Okay That's cool Elliot Sweatpants He's truly an inspiration To all of us I hope I have a body Like that at some point

Uh I hope the olympic Keeps bringing me down Are they gonna need to have Like a new kind of queer To transition to After this one Cause you said

That she went Queer And then To transgender Are they gonna invent Another one In ten years That everyone After this one? Because you said that she went queer and then transgender. Are they going to invent another one in 10 years? They're not going to stop. There's always going to be a new thing.

It's got to be something. I mean, I'm waiting. You've got to feed the monkey, right? I'm waiting for them to officially be like, listen, you've got to recognize the furries as a true identity. We're the animal people. Sure. Everybody wants to be an animal, right? Does he talk about Well

Yeah he He In the book Does it talk about How they like Were hearing voices And stuff And got raped

And then they were like I need to I'm actually a man Did you read that Is this a story That you've heard about them Yeah I was reading quickly

Through some of the stuff That's in the book I don't know what I internalized But there's a lot of like some director tried to sleep with me and you know some other director tried to i wish that would happen with me yeah it was a lot of like yeah if you're an attractive young woman in hollywood everybody's trying to rape you at every probably even out of hollywood probably even yeah you what? Just being a young lady. Like that seminar that you talked about earlier. And then what I read was like, read that it had happened. I thought, wow, I wouldn't have advised Elliot Page to do something drastic right after that.

Is that when they decided to become trans? Yeah, I think so. Following some incident? Yeah. I don't know what's going on. Like immediately following some incident Yeah I don't know what's going on But always knew that she was

Or he Always knew that he was into ladies Well I think it was I think they were saying like Susan Sarandon Was like someone they were Chasing and eventually was in a movie with them Well no man is into her so

Well I don't know You don't know I guess there's gotta be one There's gotta be some guys Out there that like this Point is That is Elliot Page's Topless Picks Currently number 129

Okay Go and vote it up folks Now here's a fun one It's what I like to call The double dip Yeah give me the The double dip That's where we got

Two problems combined Into one Dick Okay I'll tell you what The first problem is Reparation Retardation You of course Hold up! That's where we got two problems combined into one, Dick. I'll tell you what the first problem is. Reparation retardation. You, of course, remember that problem. Yeah. To refresh your memory, the California Reparation Task Force has recommended giving an average

of $125,000 to every black person in the state, up to $2 million per black person. Not enough. But they've been adding more things. They finally turned in their final proposal. I know there was one you were talking about. Debt forgiveness for deadbeat dads. Oh yeah. The task force wants to axe

the 10% interest charge on delinquent child support payments and wipe out all child support debt. I also read it that way. The first time I read it, I'm like, did they really put, let me ask about that 10% interest, Chad. No, they want to. All right, the reparations committee is here. They want to slash it. They want to get rid of it. All right, let's

hear it. We want to ask. We want to ask some a lot of questions. We want to ask child support women. Well, Dick, that child support debt is hindering their ability to attend school, job training, maintain housing. We got to cut it all out. Will that affect black children? They're all getting $125,000. They'll be fine, right? The state will pay for that. I don't think it's going to affect black children.

Well, they'll have dads more often, right? Quite possibly. Sure, okay. I mean, if you knew that every black child you had, you'd get more. Do the kids get money? How old do you have to be? I think you have to be at least 19. To have a kid?

No, but to get a payment from the state for reparations. I was looking at a thing. If you move to California, it's like even if you moved to California in like the last four or five years, you still qualify for like $100,000. Wait, really? Yeah. If you moved, it's like if you're there's a calculator online, you can like plug in like how long you've lived in the state, how old you are. And it's like a 19 year old kid who moved to California in 2018 would be eligible for like $75,000.

I'm like, that motherfucker just got here. Yeah. Like you can move from out of state and get the money. This isn't like some kind of racist website you're on? There's a reparations calculator. Look it up. Reparations calculator. Not that it actually is live.

Yeah, right there. CalMatters. Could. How much could California owe me? Yeah, because it's based on the proposals. Okay, okay, okay. It's based on the money that they put out. Let's see.

So first year you lived in California versus the last year you lived in California. Okay. Because you also, like, if you moved out of state but you came back. Really? You get some money. Okay. When do you want to do it? 2020?

Well, I got here, what, in 2010? 2010? Yeah, see how much I would be. How much money would I have gotten if I was black? Okay. Well, your comic would be a huge hit, first of all. Shut up. Alright,

you would have got... Let's see. Is that correct? Do you have to press a button? $270,000? Just for hanging out in California for 10... God damn it! Why am I not black? Fuck! Aw, man! Uh, health harams. Health harms. Oh, man. Health harams.

Health harms. Mass incarceration and over-policing. You only get $23,000 for that? Yeah. Housing discrimination, $33,000. Devaluation of business. Wow, $77,000. What the fuck is that?

I've only been here 13 years, and I get $270,000 if I'm black? That's crazy. Unjust property takings is a wash, apparently. I fucked up. You don't get any. Big guys are like, well, you know. You guys took some stuff. We took some stuff, too.

So let's just call that one even. You've been here forever. You put in you. You've been here your whole life, right? Pretty much. Yeah. So like 1950, because you're a grandpa. Yeah. All right. You want would get $637,000 oh man why could we not be blank dick we could be raking it in well like

i said dick this is a double dipper of a problem because there is one place that i firmly agree with the reparations committee okay decriminalize public urination yes yes public urination law is a problem i brought in the task force suggests that police need to refrain from arresting those caught publicly urinating trespassing camping on the street or evading fares on public transportation arresting such people criminalizes poverty i I fully agree. Public urinators and their ilk are better left to a public health and safety institution without the power to arrest or prosecute anyone. Not only that,

if the police dare to stop public indecency, the task force says criminals should be able to sue police for damages or be paid outright for their troubles. So you can go around naked? I should be able to walk around naked peeing on stuff and if a cop gives me shit he has to give me money for bothering me.

I think that's the one place where the reparations committee really knocked it out of the park. We should have to give out like piss bags or piss jugs for the homeless. Absolutely. They could lock it in. We should have like a nice tubing and like cleaning stations and a bunch of free

needles and a bunch of fentanyl because I want it. Point is, guys, reparation, retardation, public urination laws, and Elliot Page's topless picks. Don't forget to vote it up. Yes. Yes. Well, Dick, you're the winner. Yeah, I don't even know what to call this problem, speaking of fentanyl. It's like, just like people who are dumb as hell about drugs, aggressively dumb about- Drug dummies? Drug dummies, yeah.

There you go. I think it is drug dummies. It's my favorite thing. Do I need to even pull the video up, or has everybody seen it so far? I think you've got to pull up the clip. Hunter Biden. What's funny is I almost did this exact problem, and then you post you were doing it. I'm like, yeah, you should do it. Yeah, because

this is the stupidest thing I've ever seen. How does anyone think this is anything? Come on. I mean, he's like, it's fun to lie on the internet, but Jesus Christ guys, I had no idea how I still don't know why it's fun to lie on the internet, but I had no idea

how much fun people have lying on the internet and it's had no idea how much fun people have lying on the internet. And it's a lot. They just like giggle themselves silly, lying and then lying to each other. And everybody else going, yeah, I see it too. Yeah, I see that too. That's Hunter.

He's doing cocaine on the balcony and out in front of everybody in a way that's... In front of kids. In front of kids. In a way that I've never seen anyone do cocaine. And then pointing it out, they're like, well, actually, you know, I can vouch for the- You don't know. It's just dumb and wrong.

There's no like- It's clearly people who don't do drugs being like, oh, well, that's classic cocaine behavior right there. Everyone who does cocaine goes like this. Everyone who does cocaine goes like this. Everyone who does cocaine just slaps themselves in the nose quickly and that's how cocaine works. Here's Hunter Biden on fucking C-SPAN.

Oh, he just did a whole mountain of cocaine in that. Look at this. Look at this fucking shit. Should I go frame by frame? I guess so. Here he is. He's standing to the right. He's standing to the right. He turns around and in an instant, out of his magician's sleeve.

Now, you can see right there, Vito, right there, you can see his fingers behind his mom's neck. Yeah. Right? So his left hand is in his hair. Yeah, he's wiping his hair back. When I do cocaine, I like to go, I always like to expose the cocaine that I'm doing. Yeah. Because I just happen to be behind my mom on international television.

I don't do something like, oh, like that. I put my hand up in my hair like I'm doing the hokey pokey. Yeah. To do a... I don't simply go... To do a bullet that you don't have to charge, apparently. It's a type of cocaine device That you just pull out and do

And the coke is just ready To be breathed in Despite that it would spill All over your fucking pocket There's no amount of button Or anything to press and do Also like He could just go to the bathroom

If he wanted to do cocaine He could just go in He's not gonna go Well clearly I need to skillfully Have it exit from my shirt pocket. Then as I'm hidden behind my mom, I'll use one hand to distract people by wiping my hair back. That must be it. And then doing the coke.

And he's walking away. His hand that's at his nose is completely visible and empty here, flicking at his nose annoyingly. Well, we've gotten to the point where basically If anyone we don't like touches their nose It means they're on drugs Is what I seem to be learning from a certain Sector of the political internet I thought the Amber Heard thing was dumb When we were like oh my god

She just did a bump of cocaine on the stand On the witness stand She's like literally putting a napkin up to her She's like wiping her nose No she didn't. Yeah, not at all. Did you see what they said? Oh, but did you see when she did that MDMA?

And you're like, what do you mean? And then she puts like a Listerine breath strip on her tongue. Why do you guys think that people are going on the news and doing coke? They're not. She's probably breathing in menthol. Like I assume she's breathing in menthol to cry Probably put a little menthol Vicks on the tissue

Suck it in Cry Yes that would make sense It's like an objective As opposed to I just want some cocaine right now For some reason And I didn't do it before the trial

Yeah and I didn't do it before I could have just done it before I came in I didn't like turn around or anything I just Did it like Staring straight anything. I just did it like staring straight ahead. Yeah. I really did like people. I think I was on Andy's show and he's like, what do you think?

And I'm like, I think this is the stupidest thing you guys have ever put up on the show. Like clearly she's not doing cocaine on the stand. This is ridiculous. Yeah. My uncle works at Nintendo. He said that after you fight Mike Tyson, you fight a robot. Oh my God. It feels like that. It feels like the same thing that I'm listening to then. said nintendo he said that after you fight mike tyson you fight a robot oh my god isn't it it feels like that it feels like the same thing that i'm listening to then when i just think like that

man that's uh a lie stupid you are either lying or you're repeating a lie yeah stop why are you having fun doing this also it's uh what what is with the you heard they found cocaine in the white house yeah so everybody's going like, oh, Hunter Biden. I'm like, first of all, like, don't hundreds of people go to the White House on tours all the time? Well, it's probably his. I don't know if it is. It could be anybody's. I guess.

Why is it? They said it like a tour group could have just dropped it. There's other people. No, no, it was in a secure spot. That was one thing that they said at first, but then they later said it was in a secure spot. I one thing that they said at first But then they later said it was in a secure spot I thought they said they found it in like a What do you call it? In like a cubby

I don't want to get sucked into this idea That there should not be cocaine at the White House Or that at all other times There's not a shitload of cocaine at the White House Right I don't Well, that's the other question Why is everyone pretending that Hunter Biden doing drugs is like

Oh man, I can't believe that guy does drugs. I'm like, dude, most of the people you like are doing drugs. Everyone's fucking doing drugs. He's on camera doing all his fucking drugs. You think he stopped? What do you want him to do? It's also the coolest thing about him. Like, well, at least he does drugs.

Well, I don't like all the other stuff. You don't like the selling secrets. Selling secrets. Yeah, that's not as good. You don't like the Ukraine war, right? Well, that's not as good You don't like the Ukraine war right Well I mean I don't know if he's responsible for that I gotta help out those boys We gotta save Ukraine

Okay I got some more of the Amber Heard thing Yeah All All cops Pretending to touch fentanyl And spazzing out Narcan

Fucking emergency injections of Narcan of themselves Or like those people who say they got the vaccine And then they violently shake and convulse Like that's You know like the vaccine's dangerous Yes Those are goofy too Yeah go for it

Yeah sure People who say One hit of acid Can put holes in your brain Oh god yeah I've had people Who like believe that I think Mr. Girl

I was like Have you ever tried acid He's like no I'm worried It's gonna permanently Change my brain And I'm like I don't think it does that man I'm just as retarded

As I used to be Except now I have A cool memory of that time I saw dinosaurs In a rock cave The cop who smoked weed With his wife And thought he was gonna die Oh god to be except now i have a cool memory of that time i saw dinosaurs in a rock cave uh the cop who smoked weed with his wife and thought he was gonna die oh god remember that classic 911 call yeah uh let's see i've read this thing erroneous information about drugs had a reach on social

media that's 15 times greater than correct information Yeah Some of this included the myth about how touching fentanyl Could be toxic Most of the misinformation originated from Facebook Blah blah blah And reached 67 million people So the bad stuff's getting out 15 times as fast The reason I think it's a problem because

The reefer madness lies Started the That's why we don't have legalized drugs. Yeah. Yeah, and then the the crack lies Just like destroyed black America. Well, it's just crack is cocaine identical to cocaine their test scores It's just arrest arrest all their dad related and now we have the fentanyl Bullshit where people think there's like a fog of death coming in the borders. Well, no, it's not. Just don't do fentanyl. Yeah, just give out testing strips or legalize it.

I'm thinking, you know, like so many people are scared when they hear about like cocaine. And then I'm like, we should just let people do a little bit of cocaine. So they know like, yeah, it's not a problem. How about PCP making you superhuman? Remember that? Oh, yeah. The cops were like, he was on PCP. That's why we all kicked his ass.

Like, no, that's not why. I didn't shoot him 12 times in the head with a shotgun. He was roiding out. Somebody wrote in. I asked for versions of this online and somebody said, my dad c cbd gummies because the news said they are lacing this stuff with fentanyl oh god aren't they lacing everything with fentanyl i don't think you can get away no yeah see i'm a drug dummy now i did remember reading though who is that like comedian who had all her friends come over and they they did coke but the coke had fentanyl in

it and like all of them died well they should they should. It's spooky. Yeah, that happens. You gotta get a good dealer, right? They're not lacing CBD gummies with it. No, they're not gonna lace the CBD gummies. I can't wait for the next one, I guess. I don't know what, whatever the next lie, hilarious lie is for people to tell each other who's

on drugs. Remember when Trump took away our flavored vapes because Chinese people were maybe tainting them or something yeah wait what happened there were the vapes tanner was just like kids were smoking way more of them than they needed to uh i think kids were buying like weird fucking like lead lined vape pens from china and it's like well just don't buy those buy like and they're getting sick yeah something like that and they're like Oh well we gotta get rid Of all the flavors

Except nicotine flavored And I'm like I know what you're doing You cocksucker You just want everyone To smoke cigarettes Cause the cigarette lobby Wants them to smoke cigarettes

Yes Yeah So they're like You're like They had all these things That were like non Toxic Like you know

It was like strawberry And lemon And you're like Oh this just tastes good Way better than cigarettes Yeah Way better It's not like

It doesn't destroy your lungs It's just like It is addictive But it's like You're like oh this just tastes good Way better than cigarettes Yeah Way better It's not like It doesn't destroy your lungs It's just like It is addictive But it's like you're addicted To blueberry fun time scent Yeah Who cares And they're like

No no no There's no arsenic in it We can only addict you To the tobacco Delicious taste of tobacco Yeah that's why That's one of the worst things Trump did

Was get rid of the vapes The bump stock ban The bump stock ban Flavored vapes. No pardon for Julian Assange. No pardon for Jay Sixers. That was all real bad stuff. Yeah. That's like blatantly anti-business for no

reason and like clearly pro-tobacco lobby in a way that's just like I'm going to drain the swamp. Just not this part of the swamp. That part of the swamp's great. Cigarettes are great. You motherfucker. I don't smoke them But these kids you know Oh god I don't

See I was getting into vaping Cause I bought one of those vapes For that stupid You seem like you would be a vapor And you'd be so fucking annoying at it Well cause I had to buy one For that stupid Belle Delphine video And it came with like this

Lemonade flavored shit And I was like Man this is pretty fucking good This feels like me I don't know why But I just like I feel comfortable vaping. Blowing out like a huge mist of cloud that nobody can see.

I felt like a complete douchebag every time I did it, but it did taste pretty good. I liked that little lemonade taste. You know, I also have to solve a mystery of who broke my toilet paper in my bathroom. That reminds me. How did your toilet paper break? The toilet paper roll was torn off the wall in my bathroom, and I don't know who done it. Well. So I need to find out at my 4th of July party.

I have no idea, sir. Okay. I'm just putting that out there. What do you mean it's torn off the wall? You tell me. What would I mean if it was torn off the wall? Like the toilet paper holder thing? Yeah.

Okay. The thing was torn out of the wall. Well, doesn't it just like go back on? Not easily. I'm sure you'll figure it out. I'm going to have to put my detective hat on. I feel like there's an accusatory tone in your voice. Yes. Like for some reason I'm responsible for this.

Well. I have no knowledge Of your toilet paper I did have fun At your party We had a lot of fun We had a secret guest I don't even think

We can talk about Probably not Yeah Yeah big time I invited him to be On the podcast And I think he was like No

No I was like yeah That makes sense I talked to that guy For a while after that Did you? Yeah yeah yeah We'll have to talk

About that later Okay so that's my... Fun Fourth of July party. Great prom drug dummies. I don't know why. It really annoys me. It always has. Well, yeah, because there's this...

People think because they've watched a lot of TV shows and movies where drugs were bad that they now know a lot about drugs. Like, I know about that. I saw that on an episode of CSI. It's bad stuff. It's bad stuff. You don't want to get mixed up in that loco I saw a punky Brewster's friend did a

Drug once and then yeah I got trapped in A refrigerator I think it was two Different episodes that was different Strokes I got trapped in a refrigerator And it was like don't play different Stroke around bullshit was that Different register actually they opened A thing and I got stuck in there for

Like five episodes in a wine in there For like five episodes In a wine cellar Wait for five episodes? No they didn't I think so For one episode Maybe one episode I could have sworn

It was a punky Brewster Anyway Drug dummies Good problem Dick Well I have a problem here That uh Again it's another one I don't know exactly

How to talk about But I've labeled this problem pretending we hate cancel culture. Oh, okay. So there's been this whole thing where everybody online keeps going, man, I'm so sick of cancel culture. Why do we cancel people? People are just out here trying to live their lives, trying to do their jobs. Why are we canceling these people?

I hate it. I would never participate in one of these online justice mobs. That's just sick and wrong. And then, like, some lady comedian, like, somebody goes, like, she made, like, an offensive joke. Have you heard about this Miranda Sings lady? No. What's that?

Okay, she was, like, a popular YouTube person. She had, like, an obnoxious character That you know I think was popular with kids Right okay And then I guess she had like a Like a telegram group or something Like a discord Because a lot of her fans are kids you know a lot of them were in there

Okay and she would be like hey What's going on kids blah blah blah And she'd be like I'm having a I'm getting a divorce Or something Oh And then Inappropriate Okay

Well I guess I don't know And then it was like I guess making jokes Like with the kids Like hey are you a virgin Or something you know Okay but let's be clear

Okay Out of all the stuff She's done Like you could say Made some inappropriate jokes And maybe made them In the presence of minors. Yeah. Okay.

Uh-huh. So now she has, now she's a child groomer, officially, according to the internet. How many episodes has it been since we talked about grooming? It's not, well, you can't, this is all the, because that's what they're doing now is that we can't, it used to be we'd cancel people if they were racist, right? Right. Or like sexist. We, you mean that literally you, the left would do that.

I don't think I did that. I don't think I participated. Like you, everybody was doing it. Everybody was having fun, canceling everybody, digging up shit people said. Yeah. Okay. But now it's like, you can just be racist. We don't really care.

You know? Well, yeah. Okay. If you're like super duper racist, you might get canceled for it. But, like, some light. Like, you can get away with, like, some blackface and shit. You know? I don't know about that.

What's his name? Jimmy Kimmel got away with it. Sarah Silverman got away with it. Yeah, but they're super liberal and other things that I don't know about, I'm sure. And they did blackface now. The point is you can't, like, dig into their past and, like, dig it up. Didn't they dig in for her blackface? Yes

Yes so apparently you can still get popped for blackface Well but the reason you can get popped for blackface is that the new thing is to not cancel people for racism It's to come up with wild accusations of like well that's basically child grooming Okay And accuse them of being groomers This is the new form of cancel culture Yeah It's justified because we're gonna vaguely

connect you to like something about kids yeah she did yes get accused of doing blackface that she was singing beyonce's single ladies well uh her face was painted up yeah but did you see the explanation for that yeah it was wicked yeah they'd done wicked she did a song with somebody from the play wicked so she was dressed as The wicked witch with the green face paint And then immediately went into doing Beyonce it was not black face paint It was green face paint

The point is this lady has luck You can say alright you shouldn't have had a group chat With kids you shouldn't you know make stupid sexual Jokes or whatever else but it's also Like she apologized for it Three years ago she said you know what i was a young comedian trying out different stuff maybe some of the stuff i tried was she didn't do anything to any she didn't do anything that's the point all right oh my god

it's the same thing they did to justin roiland is like justin roiland has some stupid chats he was doing that was pretty bad i mean i don't think he should have lost his show But he's Jailbait and shit to a 16 year old Sure I'm willing to say that it's like It's definitely losing his show man But why do you have to lose your show You don't need to lose your show Again it's this whole we're blowing this shit out of proportion

You can go look man it's not good to say that But I don't think you want to fuck kids It's clear that you just like A stupid edgy comedian who like went a little too far again these people comedy though he wants to fuck that 16 year old i want to fuck her i do not think he wants to fuck that girl what does she look like i don't know okay don't you think that's important there is no evidence that he wanted to fuck her we don't know that basic biology what do you mean he's a drunk loser Regardless Even though he wants to fuck her He didn't fuck her

And that's the The highest good That's a pretty big Fucking problem though That he's carrying on In this way While representing this show I think that we're just

Doing this thing Where again We're blowing The whole problem With cancel culture Is that you can go Yeah some of this Some of the jokes

She might have made Were like too far Too offensive Whatever else but we're not gonna force you to like lose everything you have because of it you know we're gonna go just don't do it again and that's it just don't send any more messages to minors and we're fine he's gonna do it again though he's not gonna do it again he doesn't need to. But people they don't want to watch a show and think about that all the time. Don't think about it. You shouldn't even care. What? You can't enjoy Rick and Morty

because you know that that guy. Again. I can but it's a popular show so it's watched and enjoyed by people who are fucking stupid. What happens is that all these people, they're very popular and they're stupid because they became internet famous, okay? Justin Roiland was making popular fucking internet cartoons

Miranda Singspars was making dumb YouTube videos Okay? So you have all these idiot kids Who are sending you messages all day Like, hey, you're my favorite I like your video and you make me laugh And you want to be nice Because you don't want to be a piece of shit

And you're like, well, thanks for being a fan He was not being nice No, he was very nice I i mean he was negging her but that's what women want that's what these girls want uh-huh point is that sometimes with these parasocial relationships you lose sight the lines get blurred you forget that you're talking to kids because you're on the you know you're typing back and forth yeah you might forget you go oh shit that's like a 14 year old kid i probably shouldn't have said that you know that to kids because you're on the, you know, you're typing back and forth. Yeah. You might forget. You go, oh, shit, that's like a 14-year-old kid. I probably shouldn't have said that.

You know, that's too edgy a joke for their age group. People are not putting this stuff into context. We do not need to destroy these people. We can say, like, again, she already gave out an apology, and then they just kept going at her for another three years that eventually broke her, and she took her ukulele and made a little song about how stupid they're being, which I think is genius. Everybody, I'm so mad that everybody's like, oh, worst apology ever. I'm like, no, because the allegations against her are so overblown and ridiculous that people are literally calling her a piece. What was she saying? What was she saying or singing?

Like you're a virgin? To how old were the kids? I don't know. There was like 16 year olds or something In the stupid little telegram group Yeah She made edgy humor For like you know Teenagers and like preteens

Like she had a bit Where she would do a live show And she would like Bring kids up on the stage And eat them No not eat them But like one of them Would be like conservatively dressed

And she's doing her character That's like I guess Kind of like Christian Or conservative or something And it's like This is how young women Should dress very nice And then she'd have one girl

Who's wearing like You know short pants And be like This is a whore This is pornography And you're like That's a bit She's doing a bit

She's not actually I don't care Just what If you really hate Cancel culture You have to go Okay I'm gonna put this

In perspective Did they Did they You know Do sexually Like molest somebody Did they kill in perspective Did they, you know, do sexually Like, molest somebody? Did they kill somebody? Did they try to, you know, actually have sex with their fans?

Well, then what? Then you're not gonna watch Rick and Morty anymore? If that happened? You could say, like, look, I really just don't like this guy I think he should be kicked off the show He's a creep, something needs to happen But this is like, look He made some bad, ill-informed mistakes but i don't think there was any like harm intended it was just like sometimes when you're in these spaces you know

you say the wrong stupid thing yeah why am i defending groomers i'm a fucking idiot you can't help it okay well because it's just like i don't get that you go like oh man it's so awful when people get canceled all these people are dogpiling them and they're adding, if it was like reasonable, if it was like, listen, we just think what she did was inappropriate and we hope she addresses it. Yeah. That would be fun. But there's like a thousand videos, Justin Roiland is trying to fuck your kids. And you're like, no, he's not.

Can we just talk about it reasonably? Can we talk about it? Does it have to get whipped up into this fucking mob where everybody wants their pound of flesh? Like you just want to kill, you want this woman to kill herself, right? That's what they want. If at the end of the day it's like Colleen Ballinger was found hanging from a tree, we did it. We did it.

Write a song now, bitch. We burned the fucking witch, okay? It's psychopathic. If she has a problem with her fans or these specific people, she can address it individually. It's got nothing to do with you. She's already addressed it. She already apologized. But the internet is just, again, it's just a slow week for drama.

So we got to pick somebody and fucking crucify them because that's all we actually want. Yeah. People love, that's the problem. But they let the Flash guy do anything. Which Flash guy? Oh, Ezra Miller? Ezra Miller, yeah. Well, they couldn't go and hurt him.

I don't even know what he did, but I know it was bad. He did some weird shit I don't get why There's all this outrage About this But you can go Get porn anywhere On the internet

So how's this I think that Again It's just one of those We need a victim Of the week Yeah We need somebody

To be the witch And we all make YouTube videos About what an awful Disturbing person they are And pour through Every single piece Of their comedy And start lying and be like,

see, she did blackface. I knew she was bad. It's like, well, it's not actually blackface. I don't care because it kind of looks like blackface. And frankly, there's like so many other problematic things she did. That's basically like just as bad as doing blackface. Yeah. And the bad information gets out way more every time no matter what.

Oh, dude, at this point If you told If you asked somebody like Hey did you hear like She raped a kid They'd be like yeah yeah I heard about that Yeah absolutely Or Michael Jackson

Same thing happened to him Absolutely Yeah Jackson got run We don't We don't And Nick Fuentes God damn it

Yeah sure And Alex Jones What about Alright I'm ending this segment Pretending we hate cancel culture Guys you love it You love this You want this

You want people to be canceled It's fun and games You love that when people are in like a healthy stable place That you can Take it all away from them Destroy them It gives you so much glee and pride and fun And I am urging you

You can say I don't like what this gentleman did I don't like what this lady did But you have to admit There's news articles being like Watch Colleen Ballinger do blackface This evil racist Now you're just making shit up Because you just want this woman to kill herself

You guys are all being psychopaths. It's not that bad. Focus on actual bad people. They're actual rapists and murderers. Like Hunter Biden. Sure. Fine. Probably. Probably. Something happened. I don't know exactly what. But yeah, focus on him. And don't focus on his

stupid cocaine. Why are you even talking about the cocaine? Are there videos of him with like Thai prostitutes? Talk about that. There's, there's weird stuff going on in the family, man. Weird stuff going on in there. Well,

talk about that. Stop talking about calling passenger or whatever. Fucking name. Ballinger. Uh, I saw after we did that Indiana Jones dial of destiny thing, I got a taste of what film reviews are like right now um yeah they're just they're just gibberish they're like monstrous gibberish spouting this meme phrases like oh

that's a mary sue uh did you try to watch some anna jones reviews from some of these guys yeah or and just reading the comments of people, like even people who follow me, and I read it and I'm like, this is just something you've heard somewhere. This is not approaching anything real. This is not a real comment. I can tell that this is an ad right away.

Well, she's a Mary Sue and it just relegated. The problem is that the woke feminists at Disney are trying to subvert the paradigm of the strong white man by having him be replaced by a lesser female who is more powerful. That's what it was like. And I'm like, he's 80 years old. He's 80, man. She's going to do more of the stunts than him. Like, what do you want?

Do you think that you could do his stunts and that a woman can't? Is that what I'm hearing? And not enough of them are talking about the fact that a little kid dispatches the heavy by drowning him to death. Let's talk about that replacement. Yeah. That's interesting. I went on that Sitch and Adam, you know those guys? Oh, you went on that show?

Yeah, I went on their show and I basically was trying to say, listen, guys, some of the problems with Hollywood is like, yes, this wokeness and the political shit But like for the most part There's just like you know storytelling failures That are interesting to talk about and have nothing to do with that at all Yeah And every comment is like this guy is fucking brainwashed The only problem with Hollywood is the woke media Is destroying I'm like no like

They just spent too much money on that movie They spent too much money or like they didn't The characters were bad And uh It's complicated man The justification It's hard work making a movie It's retroactive

That they applied the label Of woke disaster Because they have to wait For the movie to fail And then once the movie fails They can go Well obviously it's because Of this woman

Yeah yeah Whereas if the movie did good Sitch and Adam Were literally telling me I was like well is it possible to have a good woke movie And they're like no I'm like well how is that possible What are you talking about

Cause I was arguing that the new Spider-Man movie Is like kinda woke The animated one There's literally a black pregnant woman on a motorcycle Like saving the day Like how is that not woke And they defined woke as like pushing liberal like messages or whatever.

I'm like, well then Spider-Man's clearly doing that. Every movie does that. Yeah, what are you talking about? Yeah. Spider-Man was like

a super woke, it's got Black Lives Matter shit and it's got trans flags. And again, it was actually, I thought it was making fun of the trans flag thing. You think?

Spider-Man, yeah. Because that was her. Because the cop had it? No, because the girl had it as like a form of rebellion. And that's all it was to her. Saying it's pointless rebellion? Yeah.

As I said, I think every animator, or I think half the animators in LA are gay. So. Oh, yeah. I think that trans flag was pretty just like, yeah, let's put some trans shit in there. I've met animators. They're all gay. They're gay. And it's your fault, right wing, for telling gay kids like, art, let's put some trans shit in there. I've met animators. They're all gay. And it's your fault, right wing, for telling gay kids, like, art's fucking gay. You're gay if you like art.

And they're like, well, I guess I'm gay then. I love art. Gay it up. Somebody told me that the girl in the Indiana Jones was a Mary Sue. And that's why I was wrong. But she can't be a Mary Sue because she's the sidekick. She's not the central character Well they show like an entire They show how she's like

Gone to all this school and stuff And has all this history Of learning how to Oh so she has a reason For all the things That she's good at Yeah like learning archaeology And it's just like this traumatic backstory

That drove her into it And like Yeah Is out of control Because she has no father figure Like I don't think that's Wait If being out of control

Is like specifically Not a Mary Sue trait A Mary Sue would be Completely in control Control yeah The fact that she's wild And causing trouble And failing

And failing At a variety of things Alright But she punched out An 80 year old man I was like I'm pretty sure She could do that

Well now you know why I'm like so sick of making Like I enjoyed making Movie criticism on youtube until all these people took it over and now my comments are just full of people being like you didn't talk about how woke it was i'm like because i'm not gonna talk there's nothing in it to talk about there i don't know if it did this to us it has fucking insane yeah uh okay here's my problem everyone keeps telling me i gotta watch The Critical Drinker The Critical Drinker sucks

He has no fucking idea what he's talking about You only like him because Americans Hear an accent and think that That means the person with the accent Is sophisticated Oh is he an Indian guy? No he has like a Scottish accent Americans have watched movies

Where like the clever characters Always have like a British or a Scottish accent So they automatically assume anyone who has One of those is intelligent and should be taken Seriously and if you pay attention All of these movie reviewers That these guys like strangely Have British accents

And they go oh this guy must Be smart he's British And it's like no he's retarded You just are a big, dumb moron who hears a sing-song accent and goes, oh, well, clearly this man knows what he's talking about. Here's my problem is the sound of silverware scraping on plates.

I don't even want to talk about it because that's how much of a problem that is. It's fucking horrifying. Here, I'm going to play. No! What the fuck? No! I'm going to take my headphones off. It's 10 horrifying here I'm gonna play no what do you think what do you think about that what the fuck what are you doing is that what is that bad do you think it's not harmful dude that's awful It's the worst thing that there is.

It could come out of nowhere at any moment. I had a buddy who was so sensitive to that. To what? This? Oh, God. Do it. Stop it. Stop it.

Stop it. Okay. I had a buddy who was so autistically sensitive to silverware scraping that he brought his own plastic fork and knife in a little carrying case to every restaurant we went to. What? Because he just couldn't deal with it. Yeah. What else was wrong with him? He's a very popular guy.

I won't give away who it is, but he's like- Do I know him? I've talked about him to you, and he's like super sensitive and like probably autistic. Oh, probably. Yeah. Yeah. And also vegetarian. So he would just bring his little knife and fork, his plastic knife and fork.

Oh, God. And if anybody scraped their silverware, he'd be like very visibly uncomfortable. Is it you? I kind of, honestly, at him with the thing, I was like, he's kind of got the right idea here. I kind of want to start Doing that myself If I hear it once During a meal

I will stop cutting I'll just cut like a little bit And stab It's horrifying To perforate it And then tear it apart So I don't have to hear it again It makes you wonder

Why we Why have we not figured out Shouldn't the plate be plastic? Yeah Why don't we use porcelain I guess it's easy to clean I don't know I'm sure there's a reason Yeah

Scientific reason But no one debates Anyone anymore So Okay We need a big debate On this Is that what we'll solve it

Does this Does this pass the Threshold of Something that a scientist Could debate about I don't know It is horrifying though Did you encounter this recently

And that's why you had to bring it up? Yeah, today, as a matter of fact. Yeah? I encountered it today. Who was scraping? Were you scraping? Me. I was doing it.

It's not as bad when other people do it. I don't even notice. Like, I could listen to this. Well, I guess you could feel it. I could listen to this for an hour. As long as I'm not doing it. Stop. But if I feel it.

Dude, I guarantee we're losing listeners the more you play that shit. I guarantee people are leaving. They're like, what the fuck is that? But if they paid, we'll have to pay to stop it. Dude, I guarantee we're losing listeners the more you play that shit. I guarantee people are leaving. They're like, what the fuck is that? What if they have to pay to stop it? Yeah, super chatter. Else we're going to play it for an hour. Jesus Christ. What else would that guy do?

Are your eyes all messed up? I just think I'm so disturbed from it. Well, he would make us go to In-N-Out Burger, but he was a vegetarian, so he only ate the peanuts and used the Coke Freestyle machine. What peanuts? In-N-Out? Oh, sorry. Five Guys.

Five Guys. Okay. Yeah, you know, they had the free peanuts. I didn't know they had peanuts. Yeah, because all their fries are fried in peanut oil. So they have, you can just go in and eat as many peanuts as you want while you wait for your order. Do they make the oil there out of the peanuts?

I think they get it from whoever they get the peanut oil from as like a discount. Or they're like, here's the peanuts as well. I don't actually... Kind of an odd... Yeah, for some reason they have peanuts and peanut oil. It's... Everyone knows that if you have a peanut... There's all these stories of if you have a peanut allergy and you go to Five Guys, you will just die.

Yeah, like... That's good, man. People bring their kid in there and the kid starts suffocating. You know what I heard? Is that you can eat peanuts yourself out of a peanut allergy you can there's a system many there's a system where you can like lick a peanut on day one and then day two you like nibble on the peanut and you like work yourself up to just eating peanuts and arrest so everybody who's whining about their peanut allergy is just lazy.

Yeah. That's what I took away from that. Does that work for everybody? Yes. Well, maybe they don't want to deal with an itchy tongue. Well, it really upset me to hear. Because I've been on flights now where the stewardesses say, we have someone with a peanut allergy on this flight,

so we're not doing peanuts anymore. Now they're just giving out biscuits. Do they ask you if you have a nut allergy before you get on i guess you have to tell them yeah if you have a peanut allergy a crossfit person a veg uh crypto person and a peanut allergy person in the same room yeah who will you hear about it first right yeah and also how bad a meal are you about to have? Yeah. I like peanuts. Me too. You know, I have a peanut allergy. Who?

Bill Hader. Which one is that? He's the guy from SNL and that show Barry that I should watch more of. I haven't seen that show. He has a good story where his throat closed up on set. And we went to the doctor. And the doctor's like, where's your EpiPen? He's like, I don't have one of those. The doctor's like,

you're retarded. Like, obviously you need an EpiPen. If you have a violent nut allergy that closes up your throat, you return. I think I'm gonna start faking having a peanut allergy. Yeah, I always thought it would be fun to like, be that guy who goes, oh, I gotta have my EpiPen. Yeah.

There better not be any peanuts in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just something at a party. A little character quirk. You just throw a fit. And then if you want to leave the party, you can fake an allergic reaction. That sounds like fun. I would have fun with that. So that's your problem is...

Do you want to hear it again? No, I got it. I'm... What's that? That's terrible. Jesus. Here's my problem, Dick. I'm going to give you a quote and see if you can guess who this quote comes from.

This was a tweet. This 4th of July, it's high time we recognize that the USS exists on stolen indigenous land and commit to returning it. I saw this one. stolen indigenous land and commit to returning it. I saw this one. That was from Ben and Jerry's, the hippie ice cream that nobody actually likes and which has been annoying Americans for over 30 years,

almost 50 years now. Guys, my problem is Ben and Jerry's. This is a, just, I'm tired of it. Tired of their little, how come we can't boycott them?

I think they actually are, but I don't think it's not going to little How come we can't boycott them? I think they actually are But I don't They're getting boycotted It's not gonna work It was almost a boycott of the week But it's one of those boycotts Where it's like Yeah but the only people

Who buy it are hippies Fat women Yeah and fat women It's fat women You know what? If Bud Light was chocolate flavored There would be no way That they could have

Successfully boycotted it How can we get Lizzo To get in on the ice cream game? To get rid of Ben and Jerry's? You want her to boycott Ben and Jerry's? No, I want her to make her own line of fat women ice cream. You think people would... How would that affect Ben and Jerry's negatively?

Because they'd be like, we eat girls. We like ice cream. We're fat. Yeah. Right? I think people would like that. Then they would all march into the Ralph's and get Lizzo ice cream and not Ben and Jerry's. That's what I'm saying.

Oh, like a different type of ice cream? Yeah. We can't make fat women stop eating. No one could do that. But. Well, if we had an ice cream that was specifically appealing to fat women. Right. Yeah.

Which is 100% of the. Fat Lizzo ice cream. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Lizzo. We'll be done with this shit forever. Yeah. That sounds good. Women would love it. That's what I'm saying Yeah Lizzo We'll be done with this shit forever Lizzo cream Yeah Sounds good

Women would love it Well as they were making the point On the 4th of July Which you know Is America's holiday And can you just shut the fuck up Apparently Mount Rushmore

Was built on Ancient Fucking Oh yeah The lands of the Lakota CO How do you pronounce that? S-I-O-U-X

Sioux The Sioux Uh huh I knew that that? S-I-O-U-X. Sioux. The Sioux. I knew that. Mount Rushmore was once known as Tenkasa Sakpe, or the Six Grandfathers. And here's where I go nuts, is that, okay, we took their magic mountain away from them. Their magic mountain that, let's be clear, they stole from like a million other Indian tribes, obviously. No, they're just all Indians. To white people. Well, they go like,

oh, that's our stolen land. It's like, yeah, but who did you steal it from? It's like, don't talk about that part. You mean our. Yeah. In 1980, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that Mount Rushmore was stolen and awarded the Sioux $105 million that they refused.

The money has been sitting in a government trust ever since. Like, it's their money. Right. It is currently worth $2 billion. Hmm. And they refused to take it despite living in some of the poorest communities in the U.S. Great.

I'm going to say the problem is these dumb fucks not taking the free government money and thinking we're going to give them Mount Rushmore back. Not taking the money will not increase or decrease the odds of getting Mount Rushmore back. Yeah. You can take the money and then just still say we still want Mount Rushmore. Yeah, exactly. That will have no effect.

These are the kind of stupid idiot causes that Ben and Jerry's likes to get behind. Complete nonsense, feel good garbage that nobody actually cares about. And I don't understand how it sells ice cream or why anyone cares. In 2018, the company released Pecan Resist, which was designed to send a message about resisting the Trump administration. Oh, God. About Pecan Resist. They said, we honor and stand with women, immigrants, people of color,

and the millions of activists and allies who are courageously resisting the president's attack on our values. We raise our spoons in solidarity for all Americans. Trump really fucked up your values, though. No more abortions. No more affirmative actions. Stop gloating. Stop gloating. Didn't resist hard enough, I guess.

We did not pecan resist nearly as hard as we could have. In 2020, Ben and Jerry's non-dairy frozen dessert changed the world. Spelled, you know, as in a whirly, spinny treat. Honors former NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick's activism in pursuit of racial justice. That guy's still around? Yeah, he got his own non-dairy frozen dessert. It's got his stupid face on it. That's like the gay Wheaties. if you get your own flavor of ice cream your own Ben and Jerry's yeah that is the gay Wheaties a lot of gay people a lot of uh what do you call it I'm Harvey's milk a lot of dumb

leftist morons even I me as a leftist goes oh good you got what's uh what's the tonight show guy Jimmy fucking Kimmel Has like a flavor He does God I can't believe How liberal that guy got As we remember In July 19th 2021 It was announced

That Ben and Jerry's Plans to end sales In occupied Palestinian territory For some fucking reason Oh yeah They went They went hard

Anti-Israel Yeah They tried to make it But the funny thing Is like the guy Who owned the Ben and Jerry's In Israel was like Well I'm just gonna to keep selling ice cream.

And they're like, well, no, you can't. We don't want you to. And he's like, what are you going to do about it? And they're like, well, we're going to. What are you guys talking to? We're not giving back the land either. Guess what? I think there is still just a rogue Ben and Jerry's in Israel that just like

uses the name and now just has different He's like What are you gonna do Come over here That's awesome He's like You idiots aren't gonna like Do anything about it

And all the Jews are like Yeah we're eating this Fucking ice cream man On this Palestinian land bro I think they're sending him You know like cease and desist So it's like They're in Israel man

Cease and desist These nuts Yeah exactly We're gonna send the We're gonna send the US army in there To really straighten you up, Israel It's all this performative nonsense And what I find funny is that Ben and Jerry's

Has their own problems That they don't want you to talk about Let's be real, they're owned by Unilever The global conglomerate known for dumping toxic mercury Into the Indian rivers And destroying the Indonesian rainforest. Wait, what? Unilever's done a lot of stuff.

Oh, yeah. There's some plant. I think they were making, like, hand soap, and they're like, we just dump all this lead in the river, right? And probably deformed a bunch of Indian children. They also, in their pursuit of palm oil, destroyed all the Indonesian rainforests. I don't care about that. Then I'll talk about Unilever.

Meanwhile, Ben and Jerry's has child labor in their supply chain. A New York Times expose interviewed more than 100 migrant children who described having jobs that were grinding them into exhaustion. The report detailed children as young as 30. Shut up. Kids always say that, though. Come on. They say that about anything. exhaustion. The report detailed children as young as 13 working 12-hour days off in overnight shifts before going to school the next day in order to survive. Now, what's great about this is how Ben and Jerry's responded. Their head of values-led sourcing,cing cheryl pinto said well if migrant children need to work full-time it's preferable for them to have jobs at a well-monitored workspace

that's true so that's a good point you know at least we're working these kids at the bone but at least there's good monitoring you know if one of them falls down we pull them aside we put another kid in there to pack your hunk of chunk of fudge or whatever the fuck. The point is, I saw these guys on July 4th telling me I got to care about some fucking magic mountain that the Indians want back. Mount Rushmore, too. Mount Rushmore, yeah, okay. What are you guys going to do, shave it down, make it look like a stupid mountain again? Put a little feather on. You got six grandfathers, was that what it's called?

Yeah, you want to say, would you rather have six grandfathers Was that what it's called? Yeah You want Okay Would you rather have Six grandfathers Or Two billion American dollars

I think the choice Is obvious I'm tired of all this Crybaby activism bullshit I'm tired of these Ice cream Conglomerates How big is that

Going to be someday? Like two trillion dollars? Yeah at some point They're going to break right? If it's just sitting there Accusing interest What if it's down To just one guy? At some point they're going to break, right? If it's sitting there, accuing interest. What if it's down to just one guy? What if the government gets to take it back? Well, yeah, they could

do that. They should. They should go, you know what? You got six months. I guarantee if they put a time limit on it, I think somehow this tribe would find a way in their hearts to finally take the money. Can't one of the Indians just say like, yeah, I'm them. Yeah, I'm the Sioux. them on Can't one of the Indians just say Like yeah I'm them Yeah I'm the Sioux

Who decides the mayor of the Sioux The tribal grant I would that's a movie Is a guy finds out that his wife is part Indian And there's two billion dollars And he starts he's like I gotta make her tribal council leader And he's like trying to get

Just so he can get the two billion that's sitting they seem kind of like uh intractable people though every every representation i've seen of indian leaders they always seem like real uh dirt bags what the the union boss bosses but worse uh there's a lot of weird cronyism i think a lot of yeah some of the guys at the top are making money. Right. That's why you just got to make a casino, man. You got it all set up.

You make a casino. You get the money. Everybody's happy. Would they put a casino at Mount Rushmore? They should have a casino at Mount Rushmore. Can you imagine, like, you know, you go through fucking Lincoln's nose and so much of slot machines? Why do they want that land so bad? It's just like...

What about it where Ben and Jerry were sitting around and going like, wow, they don't have that stupid mountain? Oh, man. That sucks. We really should do something about them not having this mountain. Why not just buy them an apartment building somewhere nice? Buy them a bunch of residential units. There's other places to live.

You can't live next to the mountain. What are you going to do? Set up teepees again? You don't want to live like that. I guess that's what we get for, or that's what America gets for like. Taking their shit. No. For trying to help them out.

For trying to buy it. Yeah. Because there's a lot of other shit that was taken and the people are just dead right it's like well yeah if anything you're right sucks that that happened to you but we took it you kind of got to go to him you're gonna go listen we could have massacred you guys like so easy we were being good actually we still could it would not be that hard we are being super duper cool about this I hate supporting the government

Yeah but like People are out It's like They're giving you money The government has never once Offered to give me money You actually Just fucking take it

Stop crying The reparations are actually Happening for you The thing that the black people All want They're just giving it to you It's not good enough All you have to do

Is be Native American And sad And you get a billion dollars All you gotta do Is is be Native American and sad and you get a billion dollars. All you gotta do is tell the government I'm sad that you took my mountain. They're like, alright, we feel bad. Take a lot of money. Yeah, what the hell? How come they get all that?

They got this and they got half of Oklahoma back. And they got reservations. We're giving them all sorts of stuff. And they get to have their own fun laws. They get to have reservation laws. Just make whatever laws you want. They can set their own rules.

What about rapes and murders? You guys take care of it. What the fuck? The problem is we gave them fire water, Dick. And we really fucked them with that. It is fucked up that Native Americans get their own whole thing. And we get nothing. Yeah, and we get nothing. Yeah.

Black people get nothing. Well, they get something. At least they get a committee that the government says, okay, you guys get to figure out money that you're never going to get. You guys can get anywhere you want, as should be the right of every American. I want a committee. I will. Tell me how much I'm owed. And not the Libertarian Party

I think that I don't know there's always been this weird It's weird as I put it on Twitter I'm like You know how liberals always be like oh all these These Christ huggers want us to respect Their religion and blah and then it's like They get stuff too This mountain is literally magical

To me and you go oh my god that's like so important I can't believe we took your mystical Grandfather mountain away and it's like no that's equally bullshit to all the christ stuff like why are you pretending that that has like sacred important meaning yeah all the other stuff doesn't it's all equally stupid uh the religious people do get free stuff for being religious yeah um you know what i love about how racist liberals are Is how they now Think that like the Mayan pyramids In Chichen Itza are sacred Yeah

And that's why you're not supposed to climb on them But the reason they shut down climbing Is because someone fell Like some drunk tourist fell off of it So they said no more No I don't think so They just don't want people falling off them You guys are too out of control

So now when anybody gets caught climbing up It's because they're just not supposed to be doing that But we go I can't believe they would desecrate their sacred Child killing grounds No that's not what's happening There's no one that got to fall and break his neck Alright well that's my problem Ben and Jerry's stupid activism ice cream

Mine's silverware Scraping on Ben and Jerry's stupid activism ice cream. Mine's silverware scraping on plates. I'll call mine activist ice cream. Okay. Pretending we hate cancel culture. Okay. Cancel culture in mine is... What was my first one? Drug dummies.

Drug dummies. Drug dummies got a... Biggestproblem.show to vote on all the problems. Vote it up. And patreon.com slash biggest problem to guys. We do this thing where at the beginning of the month, a bunch of you do not remember to renew your Patreon subscriptions,

and it makes me sad to see our numbers go down. So please go there and adjust your billing. Yeah, get your acts together. I'm like, oh, man, we're acts together I'm like oh man we're at 1600 And then we're at 1580 It's not a round number anymore Just go back there and fix it come on I think next week we're going to try and do

A new bonus episode this week You're away this weekend So next week we'll have a new bonus episode Okay here's some voicemails Vito Debate is not useless. It is everything. If you cannot convey your point to another human being,

what's the worth of knowing it? Good point. You could be the smartest quadriplegic. If you don't have the way of talking to other people, that knowledge is Exactly nil it Doesn't matter you Don't matter

Is everything Well I know that guy Watches way too much Star Trek the next generation I can hear it in his voice don't you think That pictures Riker and Command what do you call it Captain Captain Picard and Deanna Troi all sitting around a table.

Well, I think the Zargaxalons should be allowed to live in peace. I think that we should cordon the money. That's not what a debate is. A debate is, you just support the vaccines because you're a fucking dog of the government. Like, it's performative. Look, if you're talking about an actual intellectual scholarly debate with, like, rules and two learned individuals who are actually going to have a polite dialogue and arrive at the facts. Okay.

Okay. But the mere fact that this was going to be hosted on the Joe Rogan experience. Okay. Should tell you it was an intellectual farce to begin with. Okay. You don't think that anything smart could be on the Joe Rogan experience? What is smart has come out of the Joe Rogan experience. I don't know.

I don't watch that show. Because it's dumb as hell. Well, yeah, but dumb people need help, too. I'm happy to explain things to dumb people when they don't get them. Alright. What? Look, you can have a debate. Dumb people just don't understand. They get freaked out. You can have a rigorous

structured academic debate between actual professionals in the field field not a grandpa who thinks he knows a lot about vaccines because he wants to be president. That's not a debate. This is a political theater and it's stupid. But how would you know who the learned scholar is?

You. I would ask for their credentials. Okay. What about that Peter McCullough guy? What branch of science did RFK study in college? I don't know. How many years did he spend developing vaccines? I think he's an idiot, but that's just because of his gun control stances and stuff.

I don't... What about that Peter McCullough guy? The guy who's like an actual scientist? Yeah, who got like banned and stuff and all his stuff got... I want to just take it up with him. Why do I have to have an opinion on this? I don't care. You know what?

Yeah, you're right. Have a million debates. I just don't see what the harm in it would be. You're right. You're right. Let's do more, like, creationist debates. What's his fucking name? Gish.

Yeah, wasn't that... Get out there and go, Well, how do you explain that this dinosaur bone in the earth is only 2,000 years old, and we all know that Jesus could float? Well, whatever. You don't think the creationist versus evolution debate was good? No, it's a waste of time What about all the Bible people watching who might have thought, oh wow, huh

That guy really doesn't know anything Okay That guy really does know some stuff No, because That's interesting You can watch a lot of videos about these tactics that these guys It's all just a yelling match. What about the kids watching, though?

I think we should. They're like, oh, that guy, he knows some science, and this guy's like a con artist. I think we should have a spelling bee. I think that's how we should determine it all. And if you can't spell, you lose, and you automatically lose your position. All right. That's as equally valid in academic exercise. Like, well, he couldn't spell fucking catamaran so you think that's

clearly i know more about vaccines that's preposterous that's preposterous p-r-o-p all right here we go i gotta fuck that up hey dick hey veto the biggest problem in the universe is awkward car rides like when i pick up my up my coworkers to take them to work, one of whom happens to be black. And for 15 minutes, the only words spoken are Vito talking about how black people fail. Thanks, buddy. I really want to know

Well I mean did he have an explanation For why black people are doing worse at tests Maybe he knows It is a problem I know our audience doesn't think it's a problem But it is Alright so I'm all in favor of figuring out How to fix the problem

So that guy just put on the show And some black people got into Coworkers got into his car And it's you talking about like really way over the line racist. How was it over the time? It was not racist. Nothing I said was racist.

Yeah, it was. I acknowledge. You said that white parents are doing something that could make black kids test better. Okay. Why are black kids in a white family scoring better on the tests? There must be something there. I'm not saying black parents are probably good at other stuff.

Can you give some examples? They probably cook good food and probably good at dancing. Athletic stuff. That's all valuable. So maybe we need a community How is it valuable? You want people to be good at athletics

Rapping Alright, anyway I don't know what's going on in the black household All I know is we gotta close that gap That's it What's up? I saw that new Indiana Jones movie I don't know what Dick is smoking

That old age CGI technology Looked real rough There were parts where Harrison Ford Straight up looked like an Xbox 360 Character, some bullshit I know you guys are gonna do a Barbie movie next, but I think I'd like to actually, I guess, you know,

pitch the Let Freedom Ring movie, like that ultra new conservative movie about how the sound of freedom is so bad and how it's happening all the time. I think that'd be a little bit funnier, but I don't know. Well, the thing is, I've heard that movie is actually like very? I've heard that movie is actually, like, very well made. It's not even going to be funny, I think. I think it's just like, yeah, it's a good movie about kids getting kidnapped. Trafficked.

The problem is it's made by a guy who then goes, we really got to stop all this adrenochrome harvesting. And you're like, well... It just sounds kind of like a bummer. Now I feel like you're not actually taking the problem seriously because you're worried about blood harvesting And you didn't put it In the movie

So I can't even Watch the movie And like you know See kids get the blood Sucked out of them Which would have been cool Hostile or saw Type of movie

Oh yeah dude Show me the tunnels Under New York Where like All this shit They're coming up with I want to see The tunnels under New York

Full of kids in cages And then Trump And the CIA Come storming in Like Guardians of the Galaxy 3. Yeah. Yeah. And I want Trump at the head of the CIA with, like, a fucking rocket launcher blowing up.

That would be rad. The world is trafficking the kids. That's the movie we should make. Yeah, I don't want to see that weird, like, pedophile movie. I mean, I know what's gonna happen There's gonna be I don't wanna see a movie Get angry about

Kids getting Trafficked I don't need to see that I mean It's not entertaining to me Yeah I'm aware of the problem I don't need like

To be extra sad about it Yeah it doesn't sound fun Right The whole point of like An action thriller is like Oh he's gotta like Save you know He's gotta save the you know he's gonna

save the kids but i don't have to think about like the kids are gonna be brutally raped if he doesn't yeah i would like the bad guy to go out of his way to say like i'm not gonna rape you by the way yeah i need your special amulet to find dry land or something there's no part in seven harry potter eight harry potter movies where voldemort you think he's gonna rape Harry Potter? If we don't stop Voldemort, he's gonna rape all these magic kids. He'd be like, I don't wanna fucking watch. That's the stakes? Fuck this. This is horrible. Next from the Daily Wire, Harry Potter, but with everyone getting raped.

Yeah, why are conservatives, like, wanting to watch? Something's sick in your fucking head if you wanna watch that. I don't care. Yeah, they're yes. They're weird, man. Um. And, okay yeah they're Yes there's they're weird man Um and Okay they're fucking stupid Because they keep going like well where Do those eight million kids go

Who disappear every year and I Looked it up and it's like a lot 95 Percent of them get found and I'm like Well most of them get found and then The rest of them are probably like fucking runaways And yes there's probably a point zero one Five percent that are getting raped in a magic dungeon Somewhere they're saying go find them they're saying eight million they think they literally think eight million kids just disappear off the face of the earth every year

it's a lot of pedophiles i'm like dude that's like a vampire is that i've seen that that stat repeated i'm like i gotta look into this what the fuck are they talking about and that's literally every kid that goes missing for any amount of time ever like amber alert if you call the cops you go my kid's missing that's part of the 8 million. Even if they come back the same day and go, I ran away from home, but I decided. Like, they find the kids. And 95% of the abduction. You run out of kids with 8 million a year.

Dude, yeah. There would literally be no children left on the earth if 8 million of them. If 8 million kids were being sold into sex slavery every year you would find them a lot every now and again every now and again you would find a pile of dead children somewhere more than the holocaust of kids is missing every year people who genuinely believe that they just disappear and it's like no 90 it's like 90 of them were taken by the non-custodial parent it's literally a custody disagreement it's like dad takes of them were taken by the non-custodial parent. It's literally a custody disagreement. It's like dad takes them without telling mom.

Yeah. And then they go, okay, well, you can't take the kid. It's not your day for visitation. And then they're found. Okay, they're no longer missing. Yeah, mom's a bitch. Eight million kids not go missing every year, you psychopaths. Okay, here we go.

The biggest reason why poisoning kids is a bad argument is because the free market allows you to poison kids and we do daily by uh red 40 and soda pop and fucking ssris and bread control veto you're fucking retarded just because the poison's on like a 50 year time span or 20 or whatever and not like you're dead tomorrow doesn't mean we're not poisoning kids already it's like The honest thing to do In the free market Is to poison kids It's legal to give my kid

A happy meal I guess I can slit his Fucking throat as well And you keep eating fat It's basically the same Fucking thing You're retarded Shut up

You do use that Poisoning kids thing Because it's a good argument Because you can't Giving a kid a Big Mac Is not the same As feeding a kid arsenic Okay

And telling him It's a delicious candy bar Well I don't think I don't think the FDA Giving a kid a Big Mac is not the same as feeding a kid arsenic, okay? And telling him it's a delicious candy bar. Well, I don't think the FDA is going to stop people from feeding kids arsenic. I think the point is... And somebody actually brought it up. Somebody left a comment. Okay. Or like in China, you know what they do in China where they're like selling like... They were selling like fake breast milk that had like no nutrition in it.

Because they can just do that Isn't that like formula? Yeah, baby formula. It's worse. They were selling fake baby formula that was killing babies because they don't have a fucking FDA. Well, they're kind of a little behind us too in terms of

quality of life. To get up to terms with us, they need to adopt our standards of law and organization and business fucking with us They need to adopt Our standards of law And organization And business fucking ethics They have like buildings Falling over One of the greatest things That we have in this country

Is the fact that we have Business ethics And we have Fucking regulations That's why America is thriving Because you can't just Build an apartment building With no oversight

You can't build a mall In the middle of Korea Put a bunch of fucking Air conditioners on the roof with no support beams, and then have it collapse and kill thousands of people because we have building regulation that tells you the exact mathematical formula

to build the building so it doesn't kill people. I think you're crediting laws when the credit should go to, I'm going to say culture because it would be racist to say anything else. But the American culture might have more to do with it. The Chinese culture is a bit slipshod. Right.

But the problem with their culture is that their culture will catch up once they agree that pursuit of profit over all things is not the greatest way of life. Okay. The greatest way of life is to heavily regulate business. Worship Jesus Christ. And worship Jesus Christ, our true Lord and Savior. All right, here we go. He's the one saving those kids. The problem with the whole comic book situation with giving comic books away,

but still technically making money off of it, giving comic books away, but still technically making money off of it. It's the exact same issue that Mysterious Coconuts had problems with Tom's Shoes for. That's to say an inferior product being sold with the premise that you get virtue signaling off of it. It's a shit product. Just give money. This all boils down to. Do I know what Tom's shoes are? Well, Tom's...

I can't really tell what he's saying. Tom's shoes had this thing where if you buy a pair of shoes... They give a pair of shoes to a kid? Yeah, in like Africa. Yeah. I'm okay with that because it's just like an addition to you buying the shoes. Right. I wouldn't be okay with them saying,

You can buy a pair of shoes for a kid for 20 bucks. Yeah. I don't like that. I think there are ways to structure, again, like if it was, I'm going to give away one copy of the comic for every 10 copies I sell. That's fine. I'd be like, yeah, that's fine. Yeah.

It's still stupid. But it's fine. Because the kids don't need, yeah, again, fine. It's still stupid because the kids don't need yeah, again, they don't need these stupid shoes and they don't need comic books, but at least nobody's being asked to give money that you then take. There's a way to set it up that is a lot more ethical than

the way it is set up right now. Which is not. And don't give kids comic books. They have a million Superman comic books sitting in a storage locker. They don't need a copy of Isam No child on this planet Needs a copy of Isam If you go to a kid

Who's dying of cancer And you go Hey you're gonna die But here's a black guy Beating up security guards For 100 pages They're gonna say Can you take the chemo

Sweet death take me Give me the code For the machine Over here They don't need comics They need money You can buy them Fucking insulin

Or dialysis or something Okay here's the last one Don't read superchats. For those people who are celebrating the death of journalism, just imagine the 1984 scenario. It's going to be when all of the news is just like government-controlled robots writing a bunch of propaganda. Okay, good point, Vito.

That's definitely not exactly what it was before. Shut up. It's just horrible to think that the government will be telling robots what to write instead of what we had before, which was the government telling humans what to write, who were basically robots anyway. You're right. You know what? Fine.

Yeah, okay. So no, it's no different than what it was before. Oh, okay. You're right. It's the exact fucking same. We already live in 1984. We already live in a dystopia. Nothing matters.

Fuck it all. You know what? Fine. Good. I'm glad. I'm glad. It's worse, actually. We live in worse than 1984. Nothing matters. Fuck it all. You know what? Fine. Good. I'm glad. I'm glad. It's worse, actually.

We live in worse than 1984. You guys live in this alternate fucking reality where you're like, they already poisoned the kids and the journalists are already robots. Shut up. Just shut up. They do poison kids. Fucking like high fructose corn syrup. You're right. You're right.

You know what? Let's just- Aspartame. Good. I'm glad. Let's just shoot kids in the fucking head if they don't get a good enough test score on their That'll close the black white test gap right there That's the fucking society you people want

Because you think we already live there anyway How come just because Just because we don't How come we kill every white child and then the black kids scores Will naturally be the top of the class That sounds like something you guys want to do No, that's what you guys want because you think we already live In an endless dystopia and there's no reason to believe in anything

and there's no reason to have any laws or believe in the power of journalism. There should be laws. We should think journalists should do more journalism and not just repeat what the government tells them to. You want journalists to do more journalism, but every time they get fired, you go ha ha ha, that's what you get for being a journalist. Why don't you learn how to code?

Alright, so you don't. You don't. You don't want any of it. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Well. You guys are fucking idiots. All right. There you go. Koof for two.

Thank you all for not killing yourselves. Thank you, Koof. Elijah Voller for five. Your ISOM review has been the only entertainment I've gotten out of my purchase of ISOM number one. Thank you. You're welcome. Captain Insano for five.

Vito is an F slur on Twitter, but mildly relatable here. What's the difference? The difference is on Twitter, I'm like joking, and there's no way to express tone. Like most of the shit I say is just like, I'm just shit posting because I'm bored and I want to piss people off most of the time. It's fun for me. Red for two. Shalom, my fellow Israelites.

Shalom. Monster Slayer for five. Thanks for warning about the Indiegogo tip. I almost tipped Indiegogo zero instead of tipping Vito zero. I want Vito TBF compensated for his work. Oh, that was a good try. He thought he was going to get me. That was a good try.

White Bandit for five. Vito, did you see Mr. Beast is sexy now? All he did was walk 12.5 steps, 12.5K steps a day. Yeah, what about that? I should be walking. How many steps do you walk? I don't know. You know, I don't want to brag.

Why don't you put on a pedometer? I'll get a pedometer. Why doesn't the fan send me a pedometer? Send it to the show. Okay. Buy me gifts. Will you wear a pedometer? I'll wear a pedometer.

If somebody sends one in? But then I have to, like, actually, you guys can look at my steps. Well, yeah. It's just going to be, like, zero every day. It's not. I don't fucking go anywhere. Why don't you do anything? Don't send a pedometer to the show.

I didn't think about it. Of course they're going to. I can just use my phone as a pedometer, right? Yeah, but you won't. Look, everything's going. Right now, we're going to have the end of the show. We will have the win. Mr. Drunkle12345 says, cool hat, Vito, but he puts cool in parentheses.

What kind of hat is that? I believe this is the Zeon Federation, the Zeon faction from the Mobile Suit Gundam. Oh, Gundam. Anime universe. Okay. Dumb username for two. iDubbbz lost money because he didn't invite Sam. Yeah.

I think that he must have lost some money from that. Big fit that he threw about Froggy. Pissed everybody off. There's a bunch of people must have canceled their pay-per-views because of that. Underground Flex for five. We need another veto pka richard also has to go back on soon sure i'd love to go back on pka captain insano for five instead of banning assault weapons we need to ban assault races okay i don't know what that would mean and we're gonna pretend that didn't happen darren right of kofika's for five Everybody knows That smart and cultured People play chess Own warehouses

And raise money For charity Like I said I do believe That Andrew Tate Has a comic book Coming out I don't know

If it's official or not God I hope he's in prison I really hope He goes to prison Before that comic Comes out He's been doing Like a lot of interviews

So is he out on release Right now Yeah he's on house arrest He'll pay a big fine And be fine Those countries Are corrupt as fuck But I don't know He doesn't have that much money He's been doing a lot of interviews, so is he out on release right now? Yeah, he's on house arrest. He'll pay a big fine and be fine. Those countries are corrupt as fuck. But he doesn't have that much money. He's only got like 10 million bucks.

Romania? Oh, no, man. 10 million bucks in Romania is a lot of money. Somebody will put it up and just fucking buy his empire. He'll get one of those Steven Crowder deals. Honestly, I don't know why Rumble doesn't give him a fucking deal They'd probably get a ton of content out of him Well, because they'd be paying for a rapist Instead of just like a violent domestic abuser

Oh, sorry I guess he didn't get to the point of rape He just beat up his wife Riley Edwards for five Vito still weighs and looks the same as the Michelin Man Thank you, Riley Cool for two Don't laugh at that

That's not a good joke I'm laughing at you Thank you, Riley Thank you, Riley. Cool for two. Don't laugh at that. That's not a good joke. Thank you, Riley. Cool for two. You don't pop epistemic bubbles by refusing to... Okay. Yeah, you don't. I don't know why you're defending that guy not debating. You have to debate retards.

You have to. I just think he doesn't want to do it. Why doesn't RFK debate anyone else because that guy is is the satan of the covid yeah it's a bad one okay white bandit for five dick why do you support save the cat the author blake snyder wrote a pro groomer scene in blake check where a woman sexually assaults a little boy all right i've seen yeah no i've we watched that recently and it was uh sexually assaulted in Blank Check? I think it's Duff.

I think she's way too forward with him. She doesn't sexually assault him, though. I think she might kiss him on the cheek or something. I think you're joking. Yeah. But it is weird. I thought Blank Check was him and a fat security guy that he hired. Yes.

Who's the woman in Blank Check? I think Duff is. Wait, who is Duff? What does she do? The MTV fucking reporter. Oh, okay. You don't remember her? Well, you didn't say VJ Duff.

You said Duff. Man. Thinking of the fictional Simpsons beer. Duff MTV. Yeah, her. You remember her. Duffy Duff. Well, I don't care because when I was a kid I thought it was hot

Yeah So I just watched it From that As an adult I still think it's No Stan Young for two 108

Because it's your buddy Tim Rogers handle veto That's a good amount of money Coup for two Looks like Elliot Rogers Has been working out Well it's getting it done Oh

He's voting for Show 108 The poll is still up if you want to vote. Yeah, we'll check the results at the end. Dreadclown for two. If Dick died before 108, show's concept is cursed. Yeah. Okay.

PW Project for two for Vito. Quickly, ug, ug, quickly, quick cake. Hmm. Interesting. You're going to have to explain that one, too. I don't know that one. No, people give me these things, and they're like, oh, Vito will get this like deep cut from some fucking anime thing.

And I'm like. Quickly, quick cake. What the fuck is this? Quickly, I got quickly quick cake. I don't know. Spider Eternal for two. How many hot dogs did you eat at the BB2? And then he puts the words be fair because he's trying to trick me into a thing.

We're trying to do BBQ. And then you thought I would read it as BB2, assuming that you misspelled it on the keyboard. That's almost smart. JJ for two. Public peeing just became a pro-black veto problem. You're right. That's a pro-black problem.

Give me one up on the board. Yeah, okay. And the black-white test gap problem is a pro-black problem because it's a problem for... I want them to do better. Tamungo for five. Hi, Dick. I think Vito wants everyone else to be in a hyper-emotional, almost manic state 24-7

so he can relate to them slash think it's epic counterculture. Maybe. Sure. Farfignugan for five. Did you sing that intro, Vito? You got talent You can match a note for sure Are you talking about the

The stinger? Because I did not sing that stinger That was Martian Was that? Martian man something Martian man Captain Insano for two He wasn't doing it on TV

But he was on cocaine Maybe But don't tell me a guy Slapping his nose Like rubbing his nose Doing coke Yeah Captain Insano for another 10.

Nobody cares that he's doing drugs. Yes, they do. They care about the cover-up. Oh, the cover-up. My dad worked security for these events when he was in the military, and he said it has to be his because of how they check people coming in. Everyone knows it's his. Okay, it's his coke.

Fine. I don't care. I don't know why they announced it. The problem is the people who hate Biden Are also the people saying that we should We should give drug dealers the death penalty So what do you guys want? Like you just want him to go to prison too? For cocaine?

No Am I really supposed to believe that Trump never did a little bit of coke? No yes because his brother died Like if there's one guy who didn't do drugs It's Trump Well he might have stopped at that point yeah i i don't know anyway sure trump hates drugs okay so we believe the yeah we read that okay it's biden's coke i don't care rack section for five i'm doing lsd this weekend what should i prepare for should i wear a diaper i'm scared i'll start crying in

front of my girlfriend don't do don't do acid with someone who's not doing acid. Dress as a big baby. Do it by yourself instead of doing it with someone who's not doing acid. Oh, wait, they're not going to do acid along with you? Yeah, have your girlfriend do it as well. Yeah. Where am I for two? This super chat is laced with fentanyl popcorn bucket.

Rex Exner for five. I'm doing LSD this weekend, and I already read this comment, and you gave us, you put it twice. Antagonist for five. Hey, Vito. Hey, Dick. Can we get the full text from that WIPO decision from that absolute genius Evan D. Brown? Yeah, I'll do a bonus episode on my show about it.

Seven pages long. Did they really? They took that domain. I don't understand how they were able to do that. I don't understand how they were able to do that They said that because I tweeted That I'm talking about it On my show That that means

I registered the domain That means I had the domain for three years Counting on the controversy Of the WIPO Decision Of the WIPO like process Being controversial enough to drive Revenue

To my podcast Which is This guy Evan D. Brown Is the one who He's the lawyer Who said that That's

That's why it's bad faith Because I'm using The Controversy around His Determining If it gets taken away From me

Yeah As A generating revenue For my show Which I'm obviously Like not Nobody cares about Nobody's buying anything

Because of that stupid story I mean can't we just buy A million other Kevin Landau Web addresses Well I can't Anybody else can Yeah But when I say that

No one does So I might buy a Kevin Landau The only reason I got hit with it Is because The guy Fucking Evans said Well he's

He's clearly using this To drive traffic so and he knew him before and I'm like well yeah I mean make the same claim about me because I'm on a show with you so I probably couldn't do it either who knows if it's a stupid decision I mean it's it's like either way

who can say that they would decide that information is still going to be out there make like a separate website though that isn't Kevin Landau Take it from me again Well not if you made the domain name like badlawyerman.com You can do that Doesn't have to have his name in it

Sure Say like the stupidest Dumbestlawyerguy.com This lawyer is dumbashell.org Anyway Listen to that on the dick show Sunday no you won't be back I don't know we're gonna do a month the dick show's

Gonna happen cabinet standoff to how is sending Used underwear to a minor not bad it wasn't used She bought like stupid Like ugly underwear As like a joke you know Like look at these stupid giant granny panties Or something it wasn't her underwear And then she was like

Oh who wants these Cause kids find underwear Is funny I guess And she sent it to them But everybody's making it sound Like she sent Her used panties

Cause she was flirting Way to go Captain Insano Yeah Way to fucking spread it You're right Spread it around She's the worst Chef Bengus for five

Remember when Vito brought Cum in as a problem Yeah that was a good problem Chef Bengus for another five Maybe on Reddit We can all in as a problem? Yeah, that was a good problem. Chef Bengus for another five. Maybe on Reddit we can all chat with Vito with his problems with semen. Start a thread. What's great about Reddit is that you can start a thread

and we can always talk about it. Michael Winning says, you know Vito's passionate when his glasses fog up. Look, guys, he's got this air conditioner and it blows right in my face and sometimes it fogs up my glasses. What do you want me to do? It's not me getting passionate.

Exactly six million for two, Grant. To be honest, Vito is a piazza. Wow. Koof for two. Thank you for not killing yourselves over the scraping silverware. Well, thank you, Koof. White Bandit for five. So many women in the office bring their acai

slash yogurt breakfast bowls to eat at their desks. The clang of the spoons on the bowls drives me up the wall. Jared for two, please visit Greenland over that cutlery scraping. I might. Granola boy for five, please stop talking about peanuts. You're setting off my allergy. I take peanut allergies very seriously.

The City Boy for 999, what do we need to do to make bonus episodes just movie reviews? Sacrifice Sean, I think you guys are getting the best of both worlds by having the movie reviews be like a separate extra thing that you get on top of bonus episodes. Yeah. You should be happy about that. Follow gods for five.

Maybe we should put them behind. We know we might put them behind a paywall if we get tired of doing them. Then you have to pay $15 a month to get access. Follow gods for five. Sell a new line of ice cream to fat women, then sneak a dose of Ozempic into each pint. Obesity solved. They're working on an Ozempic pill.

The pill is coming. It will soon be in pill form. I will not need to awkwardly jam a needle into my fat. Oh God, it's so weird. I'm so glad I don't have diabetes. Small goals for five. Vito is spot on about the Colleen BS. She's an airhead white mom. That kid Adam Mack was obsessed,

and everyone's enabling him to cash into an exaggeration. Yeah, the kid who's complaining about it is just like this, like, 19-year-old gay kid who clearly just wants to be a YouTube star himself, and he's figured out the easiest way to do that is to accuse a big YouTube star of grooming him with jokes and entendre. What a piece of shit. It's bullshit. Matt White for $9.99.

That's daddy's cookie. Sad thing about that meme. That was me and Sarah's joke. We came up with that on a stream. RIP. Small goals for five. Many vape pens burn formaldehyde, which resulted in popcorn lung. I do remember hearing about that.

But I think that was just the cheap vapes. And you had to vape like crazy resulted in popcorn lung. I do remember hearing about that. But I think that was just the cheap vapes. And you had to vape like crazy to get popcorn lung. James Gardner, for a big $20 on the board, potentially criminal, asked if ISOM is an acronym. Yes, I suck off men. I sell only marketing. I'm scared of Masterson. Those are good acronyms.

Dude, they are genuinely scared of us Cause they've just stopped talking about us In like a way that is so It went overnight From all these employees and these goalpost accounts Being like oh Dick and Vito they're the worst Blah blah blah too We're not allowed to talk about them anymore cause Eric told us not to

It's smart Which is good which is smart for him It's just like It shows that They know that there's holes In what they're doing They don't want to be exposed As charity frauds

Who are making a bad comic book Well it's also the Like their entire Their entire brand Is reliant on this This stupid exercise Of humiliating These people

Who like Uh Think that the comic sucks Monetizing the haters Monetizing the haters Yeah So if you find like A mentally retarded guy

Who doesn't like the comic You then get to go Well look Everyone who doesn't like the comic Is mentally retarded Yeah But then you find Very smart and capable comedians

With a popular Internet radio show. And all of a sudden, not everybody likes I Some, number one. Yeah. And there's so many people who are just willing to have Eric on their show and tell their audience to buy something that they know is or likely is to be garbage. Dude, he's doing the tour right now. I know. He's doing the...

I'm thinking he might Somebody suggested that he's not happy with the amount of money he's making right now On the second one Cause he's all of a sudden started up the big I'm gonna go He's going on shows with like nobodies I've seen other people do that Where it's like well if I get all the nobodies

Like hey I'm a big time YouTube guy And I go on your show Now you have endless devotion to me I do that all the nobodies like, hey, I'm a big time YouTube guy and I go on your show. Now you have endless devotion to me and you'll find I do that all the time. No, that's just no. I just go on with anybody because I like having fun. But same thing Tommy Tallarico did with that Intellivision Amico thing is he would go on streams with guys who have like 500 followers. Yeah.

And like build up this weird little Support network of nobodies Yeah I don't know, whatever It's all interesting I know how stupid people are with lottery money They always blow it Bro, one of his They blow it on vans, warehouses

His stretch care Like do you know how many If he's employing all those people I wanted to send you a video Because he made a video of like his merchandise And he has like all the employees Wearing the merchandise And there's like 12 different people

And I'm like is he giving all those people a full time salary Healthcare and payroll Like that's minimum $50,000 a year Per person Right Which is like He doesn't need those people All he needs is like two warehouse guys

One month out of the year That he brings in and says Okay you're helping pack these orders and then you don't have a job anymore Out of like a public storage container Yes And that's it He's like a full time social media manager For a comic company that makes three comics a year

That's so dumb That's fucking nuts what What are you doing? I would love to know how much he paid those other writers, too. I have no idea what he's paying, but he's like, he must be bleeding money. He doesn't need. And again, his stretch goal, which makes no fucking sense. You know how stretch goals for like a campaign are like, hey, like mine are like, hey, you get more trading cards and stickers and bookmarks. His stretch goal for $2 million is, I buy another van for myself.

It literally says, if we raise $2 million, Eric July gets a van. And I'm like, that's not how this works. You're doing everything the reverse of how it should work. And for some reason, everyone's claiming you're a genius when it's clear. And he already

bought a van last time. He already has a shipping van. He's going to buy a second shipping van for no reason. The post office will come to you. The post office comes and picks it up. You don't need a van at all. You don't need a van. Why are you going to go? Your audience is globe nationwide.

Why do you need one small van? The truck of comics pulls up to your warehouse that you bought and dumps off a pallet of comic books. Do you guys just get in a van and like go to Chuck E. Cheese? Why do you need two fleet vans? That's the kind of thing that makes me think he's spent all his money. I think that he just wanted to live the dream of being a guy with a warehouse. Yeah. Yeah.

Selling tchotchkes. It doesn't matter what he's selling. He doesn't care. It's like he could be selling comics. He could be selling socks. He could be selling fucking Snuggies. He just wants to have a bunch of guys so he can live the libertarian dream of, I gave that guy a job.

I gave him a life. There's a lot of guys our age who have these midlife crises where they want to like go remake something from the 90s. Like, let's make a video game rental store or something. Won't that be like kitschy? I'll put it in my basement and make stupid videos

What if I reviewed movies from the 90s at a fake video rental store? Wouldn't that be cool? And it's like no And I can watch it online, right? No You gotta come into the video store Anyway Crunchy Knox for 20.

Dispatch the gravy seals on a covert operation to consume all Ben and Jerry's crap ice cream. Yes. The underpaid employees and their infrastructure. This generous payment

goes TBF in episode 108 celebration. Thank you. Blow me veto. Pigeon Saw for 20. Speaking of fire water, in Chama, New Mexico, they won't sell liquor

to brown people because in the 90s, two of them got drunk and shot the absolute hell out of a gas station. Wow. How about that? That's fascinating. CG for five. Didn't Vito call the guy who invented the MRNA an insane person because Vito just likes what his preferred pharma marketing hitmen are selling?

I don't know. I don't know. Did you? I probably. I think you're going to say no. I'll say yes. Let's see punning wild for five says this is why i tune into the show vetoes weekly impromptu that's a close one that was smart read that one oh yeah uh weekly impromptu beef aired out against some conservative

belief and or ethnic group impromptu yeah then it is my beef aired. Very close. The Monkey Bros for five. Get your reparations, Masterson. You're Mexican, so that means part native. Viva la la. No, they're still taken from us. Viva la raza. Yeah, the Mexicans don't get any reparations, huh? No.

How come the Chinese, why don't the Chinese get any reparations for building the railroads? Didn't we fuck them? Yes, they're still getting taken from too. Okay the Chinese get any reparations for building the railroads? Didn't we fuck them? Yes, they're still getting taken from too, as it turns out. Just black people who moved here in the last ten years for some reason. The last four years! Jay Cock for ten played the Fat Guy tuba music.

If Vito loses a way in to motivate him, I thought he got me for a second. Jihado Bob for ten. Don't forget, Hollywood made Native Americans the protagonist in the last Predator movie. They're now legally and collectively on par with Arnold. I'd take that win. Yeah, there, you got that one.

I still haven't seen that one. I saw that movie and I wasn't offended by the... The Predator fighting Native Americans? Yeah, it was dumb, but... I mean, I don't always need to be be it to be on par with somebody else. Like, all right, well, that was a predator. He just kind of sucked. It's a different take.

I don't get how he died. It was kind of confusing. I didn't think it was any good. Antagonist for 10 would like to remind you, the viewer, to be as annoying as scraping cutlery. Today, you can go to back.by slash antagonist to find out how to get revenge on your enemies or just piss Vito off. Again, check it out at back.by slash antagonist. Thank you, sir.

Adam Martin for a big 20 on the board. New segment. Every time Vito says anything about selling poison to kids, Dick plays a soundbite of Vito saying, I am a PDF file. No, no more sound clip bits. Although somebody did send some sound clips for when you fuck up,

and I need to remember bringing them in. Oh, okay. Wet Bandit for five. V up, and I need to remember bringing them in. Oh, okay. Wet Bandit for five. You know, don't bother wasting your time arguing about poison kids. These anti-vaxxers are also very anti-FDA. You are all anti-vaxxers, and I hate you. Punning Wild for 10. In a free market, you can sue companies that have false advertising or have dangerous ingredients.

Yeah. With government agencies, you get exceptions carved out for companies thanks to their deep pockets. It's true. It's better than nothing. Captain Insano for five. So Vito doesn't want us looking for kids so he can copulate and drink Adrenochrome. Ah.

Go look for all the kids. Go find all the kids you want. Go find them all. Go find the tunnels. Free the kids. Put their fear blood back into them. Take it and jam it back in. Yeah.

Whatever amount you need. And we will figure it out. Oh, shit. We got a bunch more. We got a bunch more. Okay, here we go. Okay. Yes. CG for five.

I did not have Vito going full TND on my Meltdown bingo card. What's that? Holy shit. I don't know. I don't know. Is that a Trump thing? Trump something derangement? No. I don't know what it is. I don't know. I don't know. Is that a Trump thing? Trump something derangement? No.

I don't know what it is. I don't know what TMD is. That's why you should have spent $10 on a longer super jet. Zuck Productions for 20. My biggest problem is drunk driving being illegal. The drunk crashers ruined everything for us drunk drivers. Booze Cruise for life, boys. Love you both.

Go back on PKA, Vito. I love the episode. That's true. The drunk crashers are the ones who ruin drunk driving because yeah drunk driving is not that hard i'm great at it yeah statistically it's quite safe if you play a lot of like video games like you can thread the fucking needle man there should be a test don't text while you're drunk driving yeah that you cannot do don't do that uh but otherwise you're all right there should be a drunk driving test at the DMV where you can show up, get loaded.

They'll test your blood alcohol level and they'll be like, all right, you got to get through this GTA level. You got to complete this GTA mission without crashing anything. And if you do, you're allowed to drunk drive. Carafro for 25 gives us the first half of a call to prayer. We were at 25 on the board. Ideal Mexican for 10. The biggest problem is drug urine tests.

I can't tell if I actually have to pee and it gives me mad anxiety. I do always get worried whenever I go to the doctor and they're like, we got to test your urine. I'm like, oh God, what if I can't pee? It's going to be so embarrassing. But usually I find a way. Influence history for two. You guys kick ass.

P.S. Get Taylor on again. Tell him to come on. He's his own man. Jim Satala for 1999 call to prayer i really wish you guys would stream more it's like i'm hanging out with my friends listening to you both oh that's not parasocial you should both jump on a racket stream after this one you guys are great together even veto why did you need to add that last part you could have just said we're great together. I have been streaming, guys, every Wednesday. I've been streaming video games over on my channel Wednesday nights. I'd like to stream more. I like that new Zelda.

Carafro gives five for the call to prayer. I guess we're counting Jim Satala. Captain Insano threw in another five for the call to prayer. I think we're at 55. Well, we're 54.99. Well, I think that counts. I think that're at 55 Well we're 54.99 Well I think that counts I think that counts Okay Hallucinogenic Haydeen for 10

Guys I need a writing prompt What? A bunch of kids are trapped in the caves under New York City Yeah and Vito's gonna eat them I'm gonna eat them and take all their blood Stop me Stop me Stop me PW Project for two

Ugh I'm so sickly sick From my sixth Cakey cakes Okay You trying to get me to say sixth Cause I can't do it I think so

Sixth Sixth Sixth There I can do it Michael winning for two Then it's just you being fat Okay Jarzilla for five

Stop telling Vito to do cardio. Have him lift weights so he will still be fat, but at least he will be mildly stronger. You won't do that either, though. I will. I have free weights. Do you do them? Of course. All the time.

Every day. Okay. 100 reps. Ride Dog for five, Dick, I tried importing that WordPress import into a new ex-WordPress site, and it looks like shit. How do I make the layout not suck? I'm sure that's up to you. You have to pick a theme. Yeah. Just tell them what theme you were using before went down i don't

remember pw project 199 biggest problem in the universe has to be ferrets they stink and are gross okay thanks pw project michael winning for two then it's just you being fat yes no wait we how why are these all repeating i don't know okay p. PW Project for two. JK doesn't have TBF. Okay, it's a TBF thing. Okay, so... What has even been out recently? Isn't there a new set? There's like a new set.

Is there a new Pokemon set? You need to be buying these sets, Imam Masterson. So you can tell us all about what new... Oh, dude, the new one's coming out. What's it called? What's the new one? It's like the 25th 25th set anniversary anniversary Pokemon too old No, it's good. It's all the original. That's good. What do you mean the old original ones like all the original 151 starting over? Maybe it's called Pokemon 151 151 starting over a Pokemon. It's like all the original 151. Starting over. Or maybe it's called Pokemon 151. Pokemon 151 starting over of Pokemon.

That's the best. The original generation is the great Pokemon generation. Where Pokemon still look like animal. Not like a concept. Yes. Or a building. Yes. Or a time travel Pokemon.

And have clever names like Hitmonlee, which is like a Bruce Lee. Hitmonchan, which is like a Jackie Chan. Hitmonchan, which is like a Jackie Chan. Not a Gardevoir, no sex Pokemon. No sex Pokemon. Bad Pokemon with a sex Pokemon. Jigglypuff is a puff that jiggle. Most sex you want to have with Pokemon, Jigglypuff. Jiggly, Wigglytuff.

Wigglytuff, that's it. Wigglytuff, I'm over there. No good, anymore haram. Must go back to basics Wigglytuff. Any more Wiggly. No good. Any more Haram. Must go back to basics. Or Vaporeon. Very sexy Pokemon. Very slippery and wet. Natural lubrication from Vaporeon.

Jigglypuff, Wigglytuff, Vaporeon. That's it. That's absolutely it. Too sharp. Too spiky, Jolteon. No more sex Pokemon. No, Flareon, you burn your dick, Jolteon. No more sex Pokemon. No Flareon.

You burn your dick on a Flareon. Only those three. Only Vaporeon. It's the ultimate EV sex evolution. Jigglepuff. Wigglytuff. Yes. Vaporeon.

Yes. Lickitung. Lickitung. Lickitung. It's not haram. It's too much. Lickitung will lick off your... Lick off your pots! Only four sex Pokemon!

No more! No more than those four! Jigglypuff! Jigglypuff! Wigglytuff! Wigglytuff! Vipoyama! Lickitung!

That's all. That's the only Pokemon... That's the only ones that you can have. Okay, should we do the... The wait-in? The veto wait-in? You lost. That's the only ones that you can have. Okay, should we do the weight in, the Vito weigh in? You lost. Well, I lost.

That's good. I lost weight. You didn't lose enough. But. You only lost four pounds. But that's like the best amount of not winning is like, that's pretty good. It's a strike. It's a strike, but it's like a strike I can live with.

Can you lose? Are you going to be able to hit the weigh-in next month? Maybe. You got to hit. It was five pounds a month for six months, right? 30 pounds, and you only lost four pounds. So now you got to lose 26 divided by five. So that's five point two.

So I got to lose like five and a half this month. Five and a half pounds. Yeah, about. Are you working out? All the time. Are you working? Are you walking? Well, I've-

Let's see how much money this is up to. It's good. Look, four pounds is a good start. I know what to do. Five pounds would have been a good start. Five pounds would have been a great start. Five pounds would have been a great start. Four pounds is not great. Yeah, but if I really, now if I really knuckle down,

I stop enjoying these delicious Canada dries. Can't you just drink diet? I mostly drink diet. Okay. I got a bunch of Diet Cokes. I just went to Costco. I got like one of the 30 racks of Diet Cokes. Oh, you know who else drinks Diet Coke? Who? Trump. A lot of them. And he's the most fit man I know. Oh, you know who else drinks Diet Coke? Who? Trump.

A lot of them. And he's the most fit man I know. Yeah. Imagine how fat he would be without Diet Coke. He would be a big old boy. Chris Christie. He's got to cut down. Oh, God.

Chris Christie is an embarrassment. I'll say this. Guys, look. Four pounds is not bad. That is pretty good. Yeah. Could be a little better. We were wanting you to win out of the gate. See, he says a pound a week.

That's a rounding error. That could have just been like a one day, you know? You should have taken your phone. I should have cut. You should have put your phone down. I should have cut. Taking your hat off. Yeah.

I think you would have made it if you had done that stuff. Taking your shirt off. Should have got naked. I probably, I should have took the scale in the bathroom. Yeah. And, well, guys. Okay, well, we have the decision here. It's episode.

Everyone says episode 108. It makes no fucking sense thematically. Well. But I guess that we will have a big live show for episode 108. Yeah. We assume it will happen in Los Angeles. Yeah. It's going to be in, uh.

Don't you want to go to the Bay Area or something stupid? September. No, I still haven't recovered from the last show financially. Well, we better make sure to spend $1,000 on posters for some stupid reason. That'll make the show better. $600 on snacks for you. I didn't spend that much on snacks. Did you ever bring up that thing?

No, I'll bring it in next time. Dick, I invoiced Dick for a bunch of the snacks I ate in Philly. Yeah. Because I thought it would be funny. It was funny. And then he just paid it. And I wanted... When you saw it, were you like mad?

Or were you like, this motherfucker. He said, that's an awful lot. But I don't know. There was not a lot of snacks on there. I didn't even look. I was just like, all right, I got to fucking get this stuff out. It was like $1.50 coffee. I talked to Carl.

Carl covered all these guys' shit. Well, so did you. Good for you. Yeah, well, no, but like Carl's guys were like going nuts. All right? I was very respectful of the show. Good. You know, Carl's guys are out buying, you know, fancy.

Fancy dinners and stuff? Fancy dinners and taking joy rides in the middle of the night. I said, you know what? I'm not going to spring that on Mr. Masterson. Right. I mean, but I clearly, come on, I brought in an audience. How excited were the fans to meet Vito? They loved it.

If I wasn't there, they would have had a bad time. Yeah, that's true. They would have had to meet who? Carl. I don't care about that. Uh-huh. Nick Ricada. You were worth the 600 bucks

And I'm a cheap date You bought me a cheesesteak that's all I need I am still dreaming about that cheesesteak Me too I think about it a lot Dude that bread I gotta I don't know man I want another one of those fucking cheesesteaks I was like Jesus Christ I can't make a sandwich that good Yeah

The bread was perfect the The cheese was perfect. Oh, did you see that? Did you know about the sculpture that got lost getting sent to you? Yes. Did you see it? I saw it. It looks cool. I hope it shows up at some point.

Can you put the link of our biggest supporters? Put up the list real quick. I want to thank everybody who subscribed to Patreon again. Remember, you got to go. You got to get your subscription is lapsed. It makes us look like idiots. Yeah, we look bad. We look bad because we go to guests and they go,

our show has 1,600 paid listeners. And they go, looks like you only have 1,580 paid listeners. And I go, motherfucker, I can't promote that. So make sure to re-up your thing. We want to thank all our biggest supporters Dickheads and veto files alike Yeah as we continue to make this show A big success uh guys You own a venue in LA and

Give it to us for free I don't think you guys understand Uh kevinalandow.com Is not getting released it's Being taken and given to Kevin Landau Yeah he gets it he gets it the government Takes it from me and gives it to him Because they're saying I bought it

Explicitly Fraudulently To profit from Even though it has never been talked about And never There's no advertising on it No one fucking cares Right

And the guy who decided that Is a fucking The only reason it comes That's like saying that Anything you talk about On your podcast You can't own a domain name In relation to it

Cause I'm profiting from it I think we had a couple more Super chats You want to refresh it real quick We got those last super chats in But guys We are going to figure out A venue for the live show We don't know how many people

We need How many tickets Do we want to sell I don't know We got to find a venue I mean we can get Like a hundred people in there Fuck

They got me What They did Yeah read it I got Vito With the first got me. What, they did? Yeah, read it. I got Vito with the first ferrets to be F. They did? I said it has to be ferrets. Oh, you said it again.

I suck cocks. Don't do it twice. You said it. Because I'm helping you understand how I got it. It doesn't count as two. Okay. Alright. Hold on. Is there any other ones? Need a new bit for Call to Prayer? No. Call of Rove for five tried to delete a thing and I sucked it up Captain Insano wants to know if you can open the live show. Maybe we like Captain Insano. We'll figure it out. Thanks for watching. Bye