The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 98

Episode Date: July 15, 2023

Fortnite, Awareness, Not Enough Hitler Movies, Fake Fly-Open Shorts

Uh, you may not, I know you're in a weight loss contest with yourself, but as of today, you're also in a weight loss contest with my dog. Oh, why? Does the vet say your dog's? Well, and he says it, he's like, he's got like a super thick Vietnamese accent. I'm not going to do it, but it's like, she need to lose 15 pounds. And I'm like, how, 50? How many? Your dog's not a fat dog, yes she is you're supposed to be able

to feel her ribs you don't even know uh where the middle of her body is because she's so fat well I came over here and you're like can you give her like treats so she stops barking and I'm like I don't I don't know how many to give her the wrong person I think I gave her like all of them because I was like I don't know how this works. Then I ate some because they looked good. They smell really powerfully. Yeah. Okay, you ready to do the show? I believe I am.

I'm in a really bad mood tonight. I noticed you're clean shaven now. Yeah, I... What? Well, I was shaving before the show. Yeah. Just like a normal, you know, like a normal shave with a clippers with the guard on it.

Which has the guard on. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, all right, maybe this is my first problem. Yeah. And it's time to go in because I half-assed it. I forgot. I got out of the shower and I said, you look like Saddam Hussein getting pulled out of his bunker.

Yeah. I got out of the shower And I said you look like Saddam Hussein Getting pulled out of his bunker Yeah So maybe you could trim that up So you don't have this giant Jack Murphy stripe Racing cum stripe On your beard Why don't you give it a trim So okay

Trimmed it real fast Lazy Sloppy And then I start getting dressed And I feel this Long little beard hair Oh I hate that

Over here I'm like Ah you motherfucker Right So I go into the bathroom I'm not Tweezing So you gotta tweeze it And I feel this long little beard hair Over here You motherfucker So I go into the bathroom I'm not Tweezing It's one hair That's sick

Do you have that thing Where you pull your own face hair out Sometimes If it's a weird bothersome one I'll be like But not when I have all my tools there. Sure. That's crazy.

Okay. That's crazy. Well, clearly it would have done better than what's happened here. So I couldn't find my scissors. Yeah. So I said, well, I'll just take my Harry's razor and, you know, just. Just a quick little. Just a quick, the tip off, right?

That's easy. No problem. No easy. I don't even need to think about it, right? So I went, shoop. And then I noticed that I shaved like my half of my. I said, all right, well, fuck this. I came over.

Dick was in the shower frantically shaving, preparing for the show. Yeah. All right. We got to get you a dish towel or something as well. What do you mean? You Mexicans sweat up a storm. Jesus Christ. What do you think a dish towel is going to do? Look at your forehead. What do you mean? You Mexicans sweat up a storm. Jesus Christ. What do you think a dish towel's gonna do?

Look at your forehead. What do you think? What, am I gonna do this the whole show? Yeah, pretty much. You are so, like, I'm not sweating. I mean, you just got out of the shower. Your glasses are sweating. You just got out of the shower, that's fair. I sweat all the time. I sweat in my entire show.

I know, it's horrific. I gotta look at it the whole time. You guys have the P.. I know, it's horrific. I gotta look at it the whole time. You guys have the P.O. box? Does fitness bother you? Can someone send some dish towels in? Why would I soap towel myself for an entire podcast? Because we're on camera. Because, you know. You think that's gonna make me look

better? That I'm not sweating? Well, when you're, you know, and I see on the TV shows that you have the makeup girl come in, she dabs and whatever else. Oh, they hate me. Yeah, they must. So I'm right away like, they're like, oh, you're, you know, and I see on the TV shows that you have the makeup girl come in, she dabs and whatever else. Oh, they hate me. Yeah, they must. So I'm right away, like, they're like, oh, you're not only are you greasy, but you're fucking every take you're like this? No.

It's part of my character to just sweat a lot. Fuck. People need to sweat on TV. You got black people, retarded people, disabled people. Have a sweaty guy, for God's sake. No. That's the one type of diversity Hollywood will never accept. You got women showing up on time, not crying at work,

and a guy can't sweat. Yeah. Well, I'm excited for the show, and we're going to have a great one. All right, let's go. Let's do it. Let's do it. Biggest Problem in the Universe. Welcome to the Biggest Problem in the Universe.

The only show that ranks every problem in the universe from taking bumps behind mom to asking minors to prom. I don't know. That was sent in by aaron i don't know quite what he means by that i'm your host dick manson joining me as always is peter just quality hi dick how you doing and i think what minors are we taking to prom what was last week's problems i don't even remember well let me help you with that pretending we hate cancel culture Number one by a landslide Okay I am a little worried that somebody hacked the voting though

Oh you are? Yeah cause I looked on I looked on the page it was like a day after the show And it was like people who hate cancel culture When I originally looked at it it was like people who hate cancel culture Like third or something But then I think Maybe the Colleen Bollinger fanboys

Out there Came and pumped up the numbers or something. I'll go look again. Maybe the Colleen Bollinger fanboys out there came and pumped up the numbers. Well, Vito, now you got an asterisk. I'll take the W regardless. Drug dummies, number two. That's a good one. Activist ice cream, which some people pointed out

is just anti-woke marketing again. You know what? Welcome to the show where we're probably going to repeat some problems, man. All right? What do you want me to do? Better problems was who didn't what if Carl brought in social media or something? All right. Yeah, it's too encompassing Yeah, but he didn't know because people loved the so sh everybody loves the SM

Plus it's a little different because it's not necessarily woke. They're not even marketing the ice cream at that point What are they marketing? I think they're just like little pedantic bitches who are just like. Yeah. Yeah. Well, did you see the follow-up, which I almost brought in? We're not doing voted up this week, but. We're going to ruin the surprise for all the voted up fans out there.

I'm too tired to look up news articles. Are you so tired? I've just been working on all sorts of stuff. Like what? Comic shit and fighting and getting pages made. I've been working on my YouTube channel. Saving traffic to children. Yeah, well that's true.

I had to fight on Twitter about that. The point I was going to make real quickly is that a group of Indians are now claiming that the Ben and Jerry's HQ sits on ancient Indian burial ground and they would like Ben and Jerry's HQ sits on ancient Indian burial ground, and they would like Ben and Jerry's to give that to them. Well, that should be easy. That's a no-brainer.

They want to give back India, man. By example, right? Exactly. I mean, you can set up your headquarters anywhere. You got money. Yeah, you can move those ice cream churning machines. Just move. Come on.

Give it to them. So they said yes? I think we're waiting on an answer from the Ben and Jerry's Corporation. Here, the answer's in here somewhere. It's ice cream that we got. Then silverware scraping on plates was last? See, that's why I think the vote was. What the hell?

That's too good. All right, bogus vote. I'll go look at the. I got to waste time going to look at some cute F slur. I thought it would be funny to hack the votes. All right, great, buddy. Well, what are you gonna do? You nailed it.

Let's see, I've got Britzman. How are you gonna make fun of people trying to recreate stuff from the 90s when the biggest problem is graphics are the most Super Nintendo vaporwave things I've ever seen lol. I don't know what you mean. Were we making fun of people bringing things back from the 90s? I don't know. I don't know what you mean. Were we making fun of people? Bringing things back from the 90s? I don't know. I don't think so. I think that the vapor wave thing is just like, yeah, whatever. It looks cool. I think that's 80s. I don't know. It is also 80s, really. Well, late

80s. A little bled into the early 90s. Chief Slingin' Beef says, I'm almost positive Vito is one of the people who said, I'm not taking that Trump vac. Maybe we should not use that word. I'm not taking that Trump lollipop. Then to trust the experts, nearly every right-wing guy I know said they wouldn't take. Oh, yeah, I know.

Imagine that. Somebody said. I don't remember this. There was a period of time where people said they wouldn't take Trump's vaccine just because it was Trump. Yeah, that was a lot of people. Well, I was not one of those people. I was one of the guys who said.

Give me all you got. What else you got? I went, I'm a big fat guy and I'm going to die. Okay. Whatever you want to give me, give it to me. Actually, they messed things up for you. It's like, no, I need it now. Today.

Not with everybody else. I need it yesterday. Big fat guy should have been at the front of the line. Chief Beef Slingin. Oh, no, that was that. Arcturus Minx said, quote, the U.S. has business ethics. We should have a ranking for the dumbest shit vetoes. Wow, people were really going after you last week.

This is bullshit. Some people were posting examples. There was on the Reddit. Yeah. Somebody was like, the swill milk scandal of the 1920s. Are you aware of that? No. That was when distilleries, after making alcohol, would take the leftover mash grain and sell it to farmers for their cows.

Okay. So the cows were eating this substandard fucked up grain. Okay. And all the milk was coming out like blue. Ooh, that sounds cool. They're mixing the milk with like chalk to make it white again. Okay. And people were feeding it to their babies.

So literally selling poison to children and the government intervened and set up regulations so you were no longer allowed to sell poison to children. Did that work? Well, you can't get swill milk anymore. Did the farmers know that that was happening? Well, no. I think some other people were arguing that the milk was still good. I don't think it was good. Regardless, it is a famous...

Regardless, it's illegal now. It's a famous... Yeah, you can't feed cows leftover distillery mash. Noka says, the popcorn incident cost Vito a strike. LMAO. Yeah, if I hadn't have ate the popcorn, I would have lost an extra pound. How are you doing on the weight loss? I feel like I'm doing pretty good.

Okay. Because I upped my dosage to that whatever the hell thing. Ozempic? Ozempic, yeah. And eating is like a challenge now. I saw you post that on. Yeah, people are mad that I, people are like ripping on me. They're like, oh, Viedo loses Four pounds of water weight

And he's all Excited Eating is just impossible now I couldn't even Possibly eat Okay Meanwhile you're Double fisting Mountain Dew

Yes That's the problem It's not the problem The problem was It's a problem It's a problem But the real problem Was that I would eat

Like a monster Like a psychopath Really? Oh dude Like the whale That that eating scene? I didn't see the whale yet, but I assume. You should check it out. He orders like three pizzas.

And then he folds it like a sandwich and puts mayonnaise all over it and eats it like that. It's really funny. Does he actually put mayonnaise on a pizza? Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever done that? No.

Remember when Bobo, was Bobo talking about eating mayonnaise sandwiches on the show or was that after the show? I don't know. Either way, I was like so disgusted by that. No, it's just like one of these things where like I would just always be snacking. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And now you're not.

No. Now you're just shooting up. No. And I also have horrible diarrhea whenever I take those fucking shots. So that's probably helping. As you're taking them? Like the day after I take them, my body is like, what did you put in me? Wow. And then I probably lose two pounds just shitting it all out into the toilet. Well, VitoLoses.com is up to like 650 bucks. I really should take this more seriously.

How many, how many, oh, there's 140 calories in the Canada Dry? There might be a hole in that can, I don't know. Why did you have to drink Canada Dry? There's so many diet sodas here. I didn't want the Diet Coke. There's not so many diet sodas. There's Diet Coke. You want another one? Another type of diet soda?

Maybe. There's this orange thing I like. I gotta remember what it is. What if we take some Diet Coke and smear chocolate all over the top part of the can so you smell like chocolate when you're doing it. See, but I'm not like a chocolate fat guy. Some fat guys are like big on sweets and stuff. Oh. I'm all about

like bread and pasta and pizza. You're more manly. I'm an Italian fat guy. Well, I guess the Italians like their sweets as well. U.S. debt crisis is the main deciding factor in a debate is which Side drops the best zingers Hmm

Oh god I should have brought in a video have you seen What scholarly debate looks like now No They had these two black high school girls Who were like debate champions or whatever Okay But apparently debate has now devolved into You get a point

if you bring up an argument and your opponent doesn't address it. So debates have now turned into making as many points as you possibly can

without giving your opponent any chance to interrupt. And they're letting black girls do this? And they're letting black girls just go like, and the thing about systemic racism is

and, and, and, and, and, and like, like literally not letting up at all so the opponents cannot get a single word in edgewise wow and i'm like how is this a debate this is fucking nuts have they do they have any black guys on the other side that can help i just saw it was just a clip of these two black girls and literally when they don't have something to say they just go oh oh oh oh oh so you can't like interject and possibly get another word in

and i'm like i feel like you guys need to revise the rules at that point if it's like well they So you can't interject and possibly get another word in. And I'm like, I feel like you guys need to revise the rules at that point. It's like, well, they got 100 points. Yeah. I saw there was some kind of racism controversy in high school debates recently. Really? Where they, I don't know. I got to look it up.

They can't bring up something because it's racist. Yeah. I remember I took debate class in high school or whatever and it was a waste. It's stupid. Again, it's a stupid format. It's all about... Because we lost to the girls because the girls talked about the importance of...

I think it was one thing. It was like who would survive longer, men or women, like in the wilderness or something. What an amazing debate and they had some crazy here's a match lighted female talking points about i don't know how they're better at scavenging or something oh yeah i'm like yeah but we just kill you so you lose i did not think you were going there enslave you going to enslave you. Let's see here.

777-NY. Once again, Vito fails to Google a person before talking complete bollocks about them. Oh. I am, of course, referring to the critical drinker who's published 12 novels and actually knows a thing or two about writing and also filmmaking. Oh, I know that he's published 12 novels. Yeah. They're not, from what I've heard, they're not very good. Anybody could, a lot of guys. If somebody published

three novels, I would go, huh. I have to take a look at those. Yeah, when you put out 12 and they're all like about your weird Jason Bourne character that you've invented. That's too many. He's like Jason Bourne, but he's like from the future and he's got like cyber limbs or some shit. It's like Jason Bourne But he's like From the future And he's got like Cyber limbs Or some shit It's like alright Cool

A lot of people Really like that Critical drinker guy I just I've seen some of his stuff It's not He recommended Sound of freedom

Yeah Sound of freedom He's really excited About that one I wonder how many Kids he saved By recommending it I think he saved

So many kids Okay This is all Then just a bunch Of more Negging Good I wonder how many kids he saved by recommending it. I think he saved so many kids. Okay, this is all then just a bunch of more negging. Good. Of you. Great. Now that's different from every other show. Well, you're the big winner, even if it was hacked, I guess.

Oh, cool. You get to go first, buddy. Well, Dick, right now, I don't know if you've seen the news, but there's a new Napoleon movie coming from director Ridley Scott starring Joaquin Phoenix. And I'm a big fan of these historical biopics, you know, great men from history, you know, powerful figures. Biopics? Yeah. Like a Transformer? No, no.

Biopic. It's not pronounced biopic? No, it is actually pronounced biopic. But what is it? It's a biopic. I mean. Don't you think that's a little biopic? No, it is actually pronounced biopic. But what is it? It's a biopic. I mean. Don't you think that's a little frute? Yeah.

Well, welcome to the world of film, motherfucker. Let's go see that biopic. What do you mean biopic? It's a biopic. Uh, yes, but we don't say biopic to keep all the plebs out. Yeah, you gotta have a fancy way of saying it to make other people feel inadequate. Fragile. Fragile Fragile Point is

You gotta love these movies About these You know Great men across history Who've changed The course Of you know The human experience

And The trials they went through Through childhood Into adulthood The struggles they faced You gotta have them trials But the problem that I Maybe they were gay too Ooh yeah, you got to have them in trials. But the problem that I... Maybe they were gay, too.

Ooh, yeah. Mm-hmm. But if somebody brought up, you know, one thing you're never going to see, you know, like the tagline for Napoleon is like, he was one man, but he changed the course of history. Came from nothing and conquered everything. Came from nothing and conquered everything, exactly. And they're going, well, how come we never, you know, they're like, are we ever going

to get a Hitler movie like that? Oh, that's what you're. My problem is not enough good Hitler movies. Look, Hitler is so interesting. Like, so what an interesting guy. He's literally the most interesting guy. What's the most interesting part about him? That he can break the laws of physics?

No, the most interesting part of him is that he, you know, took on the world. What is more incredible than that? Now, did he do it for the right reasons? No. I mean, well, part of it, you know, he wanted Germany to be great. I got no problem with that.

His vision for why Germany should be great, that's not as good. But the thing is, like, yeah, we have all these movies, you know? Not enough Hitler movies is your problem? Yeah! This is what you do when you win. You come in with not enough Hitler movies. But, like, have you ever seen Downfall,

which was, like, the last days of Hitler, and it's the one with the famous meme of him yelling at everybody? No. It's a great movie! It's so interesting! Hitler's such an interesting character. He's a psychopath weirdo. He's all fired up. I'm so over Hitler. I don't.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You see, you think you're over. We have all these World War II channels that get, you know, on YouTube or like on the history channel or whatever. International religion is World War II. Yes, everybody wants movies about Hitler and the Nazis in World War II. We watch endless documentaries about it. We have to.

There's no other documentaries. If there's any, like the French Revolution. No, no, no. How about this? Hitler, French Revolution. What if Hitler ran the French Revolution? Like, I don't fucking want to hear about Hitler anymore. I told you there was a big budget Life of Hitler movie.

How would you not want to go see that? Daily Wire or Hollywood? Whoever's making Sound of Freedom is going to find that film. Do they both get a crack at it? No, I want a big Hollywood production. Look, Hitler's story, a young boy. I really don't think you'd be receptive to a movie about Hitler. It depends on how you make it and why, you know?

All these movies these woke guys would all these movies are woke guys would lose their shirts. They couldn't even talk about it. I think you could do it. I think you know, they don't want you to make it, but I think you could do it in a way that really examines the man, you know?

How? How the fuck would this be allowed in your mind? How? I mean, they're not going to allow it. You can't even call women fat in a movie. Are you fucking kidding me? That's why it's a problem.

It's a problem that we can't make it. Why can't we? Everybody would go to see the Hitler movie. I would go to see the Hitler movie. You would go to see the Hitler movie. Even people who say, oh, I would never see the Hitler movie. Is it going to have soundtrack from like the 90s? Oh, no.

It's going to have like an epic fucking swell John. Green Day? It's going to have like a John Williams score. These are the best times of our lives. It's going to be young Hitler in World War I. You know, he sees his country crumbling around him. Then he gets his mustache and some girl goes like, I like your mustache. And he's like, hmm.

Yeah, it could start off a little like kind of fun and like a Wes Anderson-y, like I'm Hitler, gonna go to art school and then he can't paint his way in art school and he's like, oh, I'm so mad. You know, and then he's like, what is that? What he's doing? Is that smoking cigarettes? I don't know what he's doing. I think he's playing with his little mustache.

Oh, he's playing with his mustache. Okay. I'm so mad. I'm gonna go to this beer hall and start a revolution. And then you have the beer hall Puts you know that Classic piece of history Yeah yeah Where Hitler locks himself Everybody knows this

Children know Everyone knows it But imagine like a big cinematic You know Hitler Giving a big speech And everybody being like Hey this guy's got some gumption here I don't know

And then the trial of Hitler You could tell a Cinderella story Like the jerk But with Hitler Yeah Make it like Make it like Like an epic I don't know And then the trial of Hitler You can tell a Cinderella story Like the jerk But with Hitler Yeah Make it like Make it like Like an epic

Like you're almost rooting For this guy But then every once in a while He goes Once I'm in there These Jews are going Wait a minute Wait a minute

There's a great What about Look who's back When Hitler comes back to life In the modern day That's like a comedy I want the epic Is it? I want the epic Is it?

I want the true Hitler story That's pretty good It is pretty good That's as good as That's as close as you're gonna get To what you're looking for I know

Well that's the problem Is that every movie has You know He's a villain You could do it As him as a villain You could still do that You mean there's another way

That you could do it? Well I think you gotta mix it I think there has to be moments where you're almost rooting for Hitler, where you're like, well, I have to admire the ambition, you know? Yeah. It's like if you made a Genghis Khan movie. It's like Genghis Khan was an asshole, but you still want to know that story.

At some point. He was an asshole. Yeah. Genghis Khan killed a lot of people. I'm just saying. But he raped a lot of people, too. We're getting this Napoleon movie. He was responsible for a lot of people I'm just saying But he raped a lot of people too We're getting this Napoleon movie He was responsible for a lot of people dying

You know, he started a war He started a lot of wars He started a lot of wars So why do we get a Napoleon movie When we can't get a big Hitler movie? Well, you know There's a lot of Napoleites in Hollywood That are pushing this movie through

Whereas in your case There's a lot of Napoleon fans out there Yeah, there's a lot of Napoleon fans in Hollywood that are pushing this movie through, whereas in your case. There's a lot of Napoleon fans out there. Yeah, there's a lot of Napoleon fans in Hollywood. I just, you know, we made a Joker movie. Joker's a bad guy. I guess. Why can't we make a Hitler movie? How would the ending of your movie be?

Well, it would end with him in Berlin and everything crumbles around him. And, you know, he goes like, ah, you know, shouldn't have started a land war in Russia. What are you going to do? And then, you know, Downfall was so good. You got to watch Downfall. I don't want to ever hear about Hitler again, though. I don't want to watch a fucking movie about Hitler. I'd rather go to church.

And I hate church. I got to admit, I am one of those guys who Who's like I should just put on Some World War II stuff And just hear about Hitler's super weapons Or his I can't fucking take One more story Or anecdote

About Hitler Or hear the same ones I've heard Over and over again If there was a Three hour Sweeping epic The life and times

Of Hitler You know I don't like those Biopics though As you call them. Because it's just bullshit. Yeah. I know that didn't happen like that.

So what am I watching? This is like a, this is a more cartoon than it is a bio. Well, I mean, isn't that the point of all that stuff? You know, isn't that the point? Well, I guess. Cinema is to take something and make it retarded. Even like Schindler's List. They're like, well Well Oscar Schindler

Was a big fat guy But let's get Liam Neeson Cause I don't wanna see A big fat guy In the fucking movie Well I guess that's A little bit different Than

Is that different? This Napoleon shit Is he getting cucked In the movie? Napoleon? Yeah Did Napoleon famously Get cucked?

Oh big time I'm not a Napoleon Historian myself Yeah All I know is Maybe the movie Will end on that Picture of Hitler Blindfolded Famously get cucked. Oh, big time. I'm not a Napoleon historian myself. Yeah. All I know is... Maybe the movie will end on that picture of Hitler blindfolded chasing those naked girls. That would be fun. Good scene, right?

And then he shows a relationship with Eva Braun. They throw it in there. He goes, no, Hitler, don't do this. Don't take this picture. People will make fun of you. And he's like, ah, what's the worst that could happen? Ah, shh. Right?

And then all the nerds in the audience be like i've seen that look hitler was a monster but he was an interesting monster and it's like there's a there is an alternate universe where what if hitler didn't hate the jews so much yeah that honestly that's a very i thought you were gonna say something else there is an alternate universe where he wins and we all have to love him regardless. I'm saying like, you know, he's only a few. If he was slightly different of a guy, we'd go like, you know, we would treat him like a Napoleon. Like just a guy with great ambition who had got a little away from him.

The problem is, you know, he got into the ethnic genocide. You said you wanted to go work in Hollywood. Like that was your thing Yeah, I'm gonna convince him What you're saying is just wildly Wildly inappropriate for what you're saying I don't like Hitler, okay? Right

But he had some cool ideas And we know that He had, you know Him with Albert Speer What's that? Albert Speer was the His chief architect That's why you gotta watch Downfall

Of like actual buildings and shit He was like a legitimate architect And they had this like full scale model Of what Berlin How they were gonna rebuild Berlin After the war It was gonna be this beautiful Paradise of Roman columns

And whatever else And you're like Well that's pretty cool You know too much about Hitler already Way too much Albert Speer's interesting He was the good Nazi They call him Because when they did They People You know too much about Hitler already. Way too much. Albert Speer is interesting. He was the good Nazi, they call him.

Who's they? People. The newspapers at the time. The newspapers at the time. The newspapers at the time. Because when they did the Nuremberg trials, all the former Nazi officers were like, we didn't kill any Jews. You guys are stupid. What are you talking about?

And he was the one who went up there. He's like, oh man, we fucked up. Like, I did not even. This is terrible. We were terrible. Yeah. He was like the only guy in Nuremberg who was the one who went up there. He's like, oh man, we fucked up. Like, I did not even, this is terrible. We were terrible. Yeah, he was like the only guy in Nuremberg who was like, we dropped the ball. I'm sorry. So he's obviously telling the truth, right? Well, he got off. Like, he only got

everybody else got life. He only got like... Are you serious? Is that real? Yeah, he only got like 10, 15 years because he was the only guy who went on the stand. He's like, I just feel so bad about all these Jews we killed. I mean, it helped that he was an architect. I'm going to say that to the aliens when they come down.

You guys are on trial for fucking around, for killing guabnars. Be like, yeah, we did do that. We fucked up. Bring me on the spaceship, please. There's a great documentary about the trials and all the newspapers at the time were like, hey, this Albert Speer guy is pretty great. And you're like, he's still a fucking Nazi. He's like Hitler's right-hand buddy. Oh, please. There's a great documentary about the trials and all the newspapers at the time were like, hey, this Albert Speer guy is pretty great.

And you're like, he's still a fucking Nazi. He's like Hitler's right-hand buddy. Oh, God. I don't even want to see Oppenheimer because in the commercial, somebody said like, we have to beat the Nazis.

I'm like, I'm over this shit. I don't want to hear about it anymore. I don't want to hear about American military exceptionalism ever again. Mm-hmm. I'm sick of it.

Especially since we didn't even get to use that bomb on the Nazis. So, kind of anticlimactic. That would have been a win for you? Well, we used it on the Japanese. Hitler could be right about to shoot himself and the bomb goes off.

What the fuck? No! And then it's like Quicksilver. Gotta watch that Downfall movie I guess my problem is That I saw Downfall And it left me wanting for more Hitler movies Alright

Are you quite done? I think I'm done and I think the audience is gonna vote that one up Cause I think they feel the same way Cause it's your audience Again Hackers and anti-semites I disavow Nazis I disavow Hitler

but I love cinema and that's it what can I say like a good story what would be his what would be his his hero's journey well it's you know

again he's on the battlefield he's refused to come and he gets well he gets kicked out of art school I mean that's a motivating factor and he goes it's, you know, again, he's on the battlefields of World War I. And he gets kicked out of art school. I mean, that's a motivating factor. It's not a very good motivation. It's not a very personal motivating factor. If I cannot create art on the page, I will create art in the world.

Does Mrs. Van Neumann call him and say, Hitler, you gotta... Hitler, this little girl is missing. She might be a prostitute. I don't know. Hitler's like, what this got to do with me? All right. Now I want to do the alternate reality.

Black Hitler movie. I think that would be pretty good. Okay. Great problem. Thank you. Not enough Hitler. Movies. Movies.

Okay. Not enough Hitler movies. My problem is awareness. Have you raised a lot of awareness today? You know what bothers me? You know what annoys me about awareness? That the sound of bullshit, whatever that movie is, sound of freedom, sound of kids getting raped,

that they're allowed to raise awareness by aggressively shoving the movie in everyone's face, but me complaining about it is not raising awareness. I don't know how that works. You're helping. How is it anti-aware? How is what I'm doing not the same thing as what they're doing by me criticizing the stupid movie that's obviously bullshit and obviously based on a liar?

This guy's obviously fucking lying. Everything he says is either not provable or proven false. That's a pretty fucking bad track record. Not provable Or proven false That's a pretty fucking Bad track record Not provable Or proven false Liar That means liar

In my world I feel like this is One of those situations Where I have to remind you That not everyone Follows us on Twitter So why don't we explain What you're talking about

There's a movie That's out called Sound of Freedom Sound of Freedom It's a fake story That a guy made up To make money It's a guy who used To work at the CIA Freedom. It's a fake story that a guy made up to make money. It's a guy who used to work at the CIA, so obviously he's a liar. Funded by Glenn Beck, who is religious and retarded and also a big fat liar.

Yeah. They sell an experience where if you donate enough money to them, they'll go around and try to hire underage whores to come over and fuck them, and then they'll also call the police to come in and bust the pimps. Yeah It's a really weird. It's like a weird Like tourism for sex crime punishment. It's like, you know, you guys on the internet who hate pedophiles Well, what if I told you you could pay forty thousand dollars to? Set up a situation to maybe bust a pedophile But also maybe you created a pedophilic situation

And then they turn those whores Sometimes consensual adult whores Most of the time They just turn them loose into the world Where they're obviously going to start whoring again Because that's how prostitution happens That's one thing about that Sound of Freedom movie It's all about him freeing kids

And like sex trafficking or whatever. Yeah. And then they're asking him, it's like, well, did you really save all those kids? He's like, well, a lot of them were, you know, adult sex workers. Yeah. We just thought it would be more powerful in the movie. So yes. If it was just kids.

And like, okay, so you saved a bunch of, I mean, you know, saving prostitutes, I guess, is valuable. It's not as emotional. Raising awareness only works when it's tied to specific action. I brought a bunch of stuff in here, but I don't know how much. I always brought,

I brought too much in on this one. The suicide one is the most important one because they're always saying You gotta have awareness of suicide. Yeah, mental health, right?

Blah, blah, blah. You gotta watch out for mental health. Don't kill yourself. Hey, don't kill yourself. They found that the only way it's a successful campaign is if it's tied

to a very specific action item like if you're feeling do that this do this call this number otherwise it's just letting people glorifying it right ideating it putting the idea in your head making people think that their mental health is out of control but it's not really and starting to freak them out yeah suicide awareness actually increases suicides is what I understand. Yeah. Because people go, oh my God, I can kill myself? I never thought of that. How'd he do it? Wait a minute. He jumped

off a building. Wait, that's not a bad idea. What were you going to say before? I was going to say, I think quickly, is before I came into the show, I was looking on Twitter and somebody had a picture you know the guy who the movie Sound of Freedom is based on is a Mormon yeah and he had like a whiteboard where

he's like here's how we're going to use our organization to push people into Mormonism yeah and I'm like okay so like there's an agenda here the movie is a commercial for the organization that's why they're buying out all the theaters because they want donations to their organization, which weirdly, I think he got, did he get kicked

out of his own organization now? I don't know. He has like a second organization. Oh yeah, the other one. Spear of whatever, which Tim Pool was helping him raise money for. All I know is when the guy is exclusively promoting the movie to God, who was it?

Rudy Giuliani and like Peterson and Steve Bannon. I'm like, I feel like there's a political aspect to this. I feel like you're kind of going after suckers here. Yeah. Those guys are dumb. I brought some, this is a general problem about awareness. Because everybody Who's mad at me

For saying this is An obvious con They're saying awareness Is important If people weren't aware Of the problem The problem continues I guess there were

Some people that Weren't aware that Kids were getting raped Somewhere in the world I don't know how That's possible Considering for the last Four years on Twitter

Every day I gotta hear About how everything Everywhere is A pedophilic crime Every fucking movie Is like about kids getting kidnapped It's like talking about it all the time I guess there was some guy

I saw The Rescuers Down Under in 1994 And it raised way more awareness Than this film ever could The movie Taken, Taken 2, Taken 3 This time more kids are getting raped We should sell little plastic bracelets, rubber bracelets, or maybe a t-shirt that just says, kids are getting raped.

Pedophiles are bad. It's the same thing! So here's the three big problems with awareness that I brought in, and why it's totally pointless. It leads to no action. This one was a, the CDC made a zombie preparedness apocalypse thing, a joke saying, prepare for

the apocalypse. It's actually disaster relief that you're preparing for, but we're going to say it's zombie. So it's fun. Yeah. So get the word out more. Raise awareness, right? Right.

They found that less people, that the people that saw it were less likely to get prepared than people who saw normal, like, PSAs. It's like, hey, you got to, in case of an earthquake, you likely to get prepared Than people who saw normal Like PSAs Like hey you gotta in case of an earthquake you gotta get your Cause the sensationalism of it Made it feel like bullshit Uh yeah I mean they don't know But yeah they're just like wow that's funny

I had a good time feeling like I'm thinking about Zombie shit right So it's not specific So like maybe if you wanted to help kids Like going on all these shows and talking about how the elite Democratic pedophiles are harvesting their blood. Makes people not take it seriously. Like Monsters Incorporated. They're scaring these kids and juicing them for adrenochrome.

A fantasy chemical that was invented by Hunter S. Thompson, a drugged out super liberal. Who said we live in a kingdom of fear. I think that's his last book or i'm like if you care about awareness do you understand how making shit up like bad is bad and makes like people focus on things that are not actually probably like well the only way to stop these child traffickers is to get trump elected and it's like no that's not gonna really do much no it's to like real it's to like build communities where they feel they don't have to be prostitutes. Yeah, or just

people don't have to like abduct little children. Or pay our overseas labor a fair wage so that they, instead of working for nickels in a factory, you know,

maybe a couple dollars an hour. Or not addict them to the U.S. dollar. Or abolish the IMF so that the entire world does not a trickle down from American wealth inequality. A lot of ways.

I mean, honestly, I'm pretty sure a guy tried to stop that too. Which tried to stop what? Maybe it was Napoleon who tried to stop the banks from doing that. Yeah, let's say it was Napoleon. Let's hope that's who did it. Misinformation is another problem.

They raised awareness for, like, seafood, bad, like, bad seafood practices. Okay. But then all the fishermen learned about it and said, like, oh, yeah, we're doing that, too. Our stuff is, like, preserving sea life. Oh, so they just lied? Lied. Yeah.

There's a lot of that these days. A lot of lies going on. Yeah. Because we're like, well, how does it protect? Lied. Yeah. There's a lot of that these days. A lot of lies going on. Yeah. Because we're like, well, how does it protect sea? Well, it just does. It just does. We're raising awareness. We're raising awareness, man. Raising awareness, man. The research found that 50% of environmental advertising on seafood

products is misleading because of the awareness campaign that primed people to look for it, to buy. And now they buy these ones even though they're not actually doing anything yeah the whole problem with awareness has always been wouldn't it be better to spend the money on doing something than making people aware of something do you have the breast cancer awareness people i didn't even bring it in because i hate them so much susan g coman's uh race for the, yeah, you gotta be aware.

I know, I know it exists. Are you aware of tits? How could I not be aware that it exists at this point? Yeah. Well, you gotta be aware. Uh, the last one that I brought in was creating harm.

They did some in Australia. They did a dumb ways to die campaign. Yeah. Um, where they showed somebody getting, walking onto the railroad tracks on accident because they were paying attention to a phone and getting smushed. Right.

And people who wanted to kill themselves saw the ad. It was so popular that they said, oh, that's a great way to kill myself. So it increased suicides specifically that way, which is not survivable. Yeah. So it increased deaths. Wow. How about that? There's always a...

So like diverting funds from, you know, good charities to obvious scam charities that take millionaires on pretend to be a pedophile. Chris Hansen style pretend Pretend raids Is bad Yeah Not enough is being talked about With the pretend weirdo raids No

Yeah It's really not So you pay them And then they go to a Place They use your house They use your house? Yeah that's part of the allure

Is the The millionaires want them To do the raid No no no In foreign lands Colombia They can't do this shit in America Because they would get

Shot and sued Yeah so they get like a mansion And they find some guys And they go Hey go get us a bunch of You know Ten year olds To party with

Or whatever Yeah and then they show up And they have mustaches And they're like Well that's close enough Well also they said like Some of the You know

Because they ask for so many girls To come that like The traffickers are like, shit, we don't have that many fucking prostitutes. Start victimizing girls who had never been trafficking more. And they bring them in. But they're raising awareness. Yeah, they're raising awareness.

Of the girls that they just kidnapped. The girls that they, yeah, that maybe the guy beforehand was like, shit, I've never done this before, but that's a lot of American money. I guess I'll give this trafficking a try. Kind of like tricking the locals into trafficking kids because they think it's going to be a big payday. Yeah. Yeah. So that's raising awareness. It used to be.

I didn't think we had to have this conversation again after like the South Park Scosses episode Where they made fun Of those stupid Things Yeah wearing a Fucking wristband Kids are getting Raped t-shirts Everything Changes For some reason

Like everybody's On track with like This is all bullshit Everything's you know A ploy And we're being Manipulated all the time But the second you go

Kids are being hurt They go Well that's 100% serious And I'm I'm furious about it And you're like No that's also Part of the ploy If furious about it. And you're like, no, that's also part of the ploy. If anything, that's like the most obvious

ploy ever. It's like, if you don't vote for me, kids are going to get hurt. If you don't elect this guy, kids are going to get mutilated or whatever. I feel like I'm frozen in one moment in time in life where it's like a cartoon trope where you're on a bus that's on a cliff, and

there's like a baby or something on the on the end that's over the cliff and everyone's on this side of the bus right and you just go oh shit oh shit everybody wait and everyone just walk up save that baby let's go and the whole bus goes over the cliff permanent that's my experience with life Is that moment I just What do you want What do you want Want the baby to die Let's go Yeah

Alright The whole like The whole like If you don't support this film Man and then like The thing The videos that people Are putting out

Where they're like Listen I don't know What's going on But we went to see Sound of Freedom And it's empty Midway through the movie The AC cuts out

As if they were trying To force us to leave Well it is summer You know I'm like So you think The global pedophile cabal Was unable to stop This movie from being movie, the AC cuts out as if they were trying to force us to leave. Well, it is summer. So you think the global pedophile cabal was unable to stop this movie from being distributed to theaters, but they were able to send out a secret message that the kid who works in the back works for

the global pedophile. Turn off the AC halfway through the movie and then those kids, those sympathetic fools will suffer. Yeah, I don't think that's what's going on, man. I think we had three years of COVID theaters, and now HVAC systems are breaking. Yeah.

It's hot. I think that the kid making minimum wage at the theater doesn't care enough to make sure that the movies work. Because they had no money to fix them. Yeah. Because of this little thing called COVID. The conspiracy theories are fantastic. Awareness. You got to be aware.

Stay aware. If you're promoting something as awareness, you're just wrong. And you should know that. Well, hopefully. No, it's not. They're going to make a sequel to that movie. It's going to be. Yeah.

It's other than the sound of freedom. Glenn Beck's going to be what's other than The Sound of Freedom. Glenn Beck's going to be in the sequel. You know, the original script had him in it. Yeah, that's crazy. I mean, that's like so obviously

a scam then. I think at that point the director's like, well, we can't promote. We can't do that. That tips our hand a little too much. That's obviously a scam then.

Glenn Beck was going to literally show up as himself and go, well, I have to fund this because nobody cares more about children than me. Glenn Beck and the Blaze. You work for Glenn Beck was going to literally show up as himself and go, well, I have to fund this because nobody cares more about children than me. Glenn Beck and the Blaze. You work for Glenn Beck now.

You don't need the U.S. government. Really? Wow. You have the power of Christ on your side. If Glenn Beck's connected, maybe we could see Eric Chalai in the sequel. That would be cool. Maybe his eyesom care. Oh, eyesom not saving kids.

That would be on brand. He should save like a million kids from the pedophile cabal. No one cares more about saving kids than me. I just want to add that. To all the people who disagree with me, everybody knows that no one cares more about saving kids than I do. And I hope people are aware of that fact. I also want to save kids.

Vito is second most. Second. Yeah, I'm second on the list. Just a little bit lower. I want to save kids' dick, but you know what I want to save kids Vito is second most Second Yeah I'm second on the list Just a little bit lower I want to save kids dick But you know what I want to save them from Yeah I want to save them

From stupid video game crossovers Cause uh We are entering the era Of what I am calling Fortnite-ification And it's a big Big problem Dick bring up that tweet

That I sent ya Look at this nonsense. I don't know if you guys play this call of duty. One of the most popular video games in the world. It's about guys, soldiers fighting terrorists. And now they put these stupid things in every video game. Now it's just going to be a big mishmash of different stupid intellectual property. Here is a Homelander. Looks cool. Why would Homelander have a gun? As Royce

As he's playing Fortnite the game with his friends. What are you fucking complaining about? No, that's Call of Duty. This is Call of Duty now. You can be running around as fucking Homelander. He wants to show himself that he's just a regular guy like the troops. That's cool. Why can't Homelander move? These video games just have their own reason elvis went in the army universe

no yeah well that was the ultimate crossover the problem is that fortnight has made so much money that we're now in a situation for those of you who don't know fortnight is a stupid game for idiot children where you run around it's your favorite licensed characters which you spend money on skins yeah and then you can play as your favorite characters you can be the Avengers you can be John wick it's awesome can be Rick and Morty who doesn't want to be Rick and Morty in their game major laser it's fucking stupid even know what that is it sounds cool I think he's like a DJ or a rapper what do you like what people can't have

fun with fort Fortnite and stuff? You don't want to be Homelander? The point is, okay, Fortnite is whatever. What if they had Superkiller in there? Are you going to say no to that? If Fortnite No, I'm not going to say no to that. That's different. Because that's promotion. You're right. It's just promotion. It's just endless fucking IP fucking bullshit

which I'm tired of. Okay? Look, Fortnite was fine. If it was the one game That's like look All these characters are here And they're like Alright fine But now it's gonna be

Every video game You're gonna be playing Final Fantasy And they're gonna be like Would you rather be playing Final Fantasy as Luke Skywalker Would you rather What if we replace

All the NPCs With Ewoks No With chicks With huge tits Yeah Now we're talking It's basically

I mean I guess That's what mods are now. You see all the mods online. Yeah, they're great. But they're just, it's sullies. But don't fucking put the skin on if you don't like it. You can't avoid it. Some of these games are specifically designed around, all right, here's an example. Mortal Kombat.

That is its own. Awesome. No. Yeah, it had fucking Leatherface and shit. Oh my God. The Terminator was in that one. Oh, my God. We played that for like all night.

It was great. That destroys the whole like- Who else was in that one? I have a list here. Robocop, Terminator, The Joker. Yeah, I didn't like that one, but- Rambo. It's anything Warner Brothers owns.

Okay. In that video game. I don't like it when it's obvious that it's that universe You know Wait, so you don't like the Joker being in it? Well It's just, I want to see more I want to see Peter Griffin in it

We'll just make a different game then Don't make it Mortal Kombat Mortal Kombat was What do you call it? Liu Kang and Sonya and Jax Build up your own universe Stop taking Other fucking universes

And jamming them Into these video games Bring up this article I got Look Here's Here's all the different Is this Is this Call of Duty

Yeah look at these stupid Some of these don't even make Fucking sense at all John McClane I could be John McClane In Call of Duty Why I don't get that shit today

Why Is the fucking rabbit From Donnie Darko one of them? That doesn't make any sense at all Donnie Darko is like an introspective fucking weird teenage indie movie Yeah Like spooky sci-fi shit It wasn't about running around with a gun and shooting people Yeah, but he's mysterious and cool.

Frank is from the movie. I don't spoil it. Frank's just like a guy. He's not like a mythical figure. It's just a dude in a stupid bunny costume. That's fucking great. Why would you not want to be John McClane in, what is this? This is Call of Duty.

Leatherface, didn't he cut people's faces off and rape women? Yeah. That's's cool it doesn't make no one's gonna fuck with you if you're wearing other guys faces and raping women have a defined theme like the theme is it's counter terrorists versus terrorists not stupid movie monsters who better to counter terrorists than john mcclain the guy from saw the puppet why how does the puppet have a gun that doesn't make any fucking sense at all. It's not even an actual guy. It was a puppet.

Call of Duty is hardly a, hardly is like has integrity as a franchise at this point. There's no integrity left at all. There's like, there should be some small amount of integrity. So you want like. When you build a universe, the universe should, you should celebrate the uniqueness of your universe and build on your universe, not constantly be like, how can we take other

shit that people already like and jam it in here stupidly? Yeah. Okay? You want, like, rules in your universe? Like, no multiverse, no... It should be done... What was Eric Gilles' rule? It should be done... Yeah, no multiverse. That's one of the Eric Gilles' rules. Uh-huh. If anyone,iverse That's one of the Eric Gilles' rules If anyone Whoever plays Isom

Will No race swapping Oh yeah No reboots Okay look Sometimes Like with Smash Brothers Okay that's an example

Of a thing That was done Very organically They slowly added Characters over time All the characters That were added It's clear that

Deep thought was put Into them And how they could fit into the Smash Bros. universe. And how can we not have Mai in here? It didn't just go, hey, what's the spooky character we own? Hey, remember that weird fucking rabbit thing from Donnie Darko? Do you think people would pay $14.99 to run around the game

as that fucking thing? Yeah, probably. That's cool. This is the Funko Popification of video games. I haven't thought of that guy in forever. I like thinking about him Oh yeah I remember that movie Have you seen the Multi versus fighting game

That Warner Brothers put out Is that with like It's like Batman And Scooby Doo And whatever else Yeah they took it down Because the It's such garbage

That they have to figure out How to make it less garbage And I was like Again What if you had Kept it on a theme What if it was like The Hanna-Barbera Fighting game And it was only Hanna-Barbera characters?

That would be cool. Why would that be good? I don't know. Like Snagglepuss? Yeah, Snagglepuss. Fucking Dick Casterly. Dick Carr. Casper.

Yeah. Inch High Private Eye. All those guys. That sounds good. Grape Ape. Yogi Bear. You know, The Flintstones Sounds horrible

No I would have A good time with that What about Batman Throw Batman in there I just think For fun The love of crossovers I feel like I'm

Repeating a problem Yeah you are But regardless It's still The Fortnite-ification The Fortnite-ification Video games Is kind of the exact same

As the previous problem Whatever I'm still mad It was bad then it's bad now I think it's The point is I just miss when things were one thing But you don't have to buy this game Don't put yeah okay I know I don't But it's just like so stupid

To me that everything has to be Fortnite. But only big stuff does. Like only the biggest games ever have to be Fortnite. They're going to start making it so you buy a game and it's going to be like, well, do you want it to be? I can't afford it. Little guys can't afford to buy Donnie Darko's rabbit. Why is it even in the game? It doesn't make any sense.

It's cool. All right. I think I redid a problem, so let's just move on. All right, my problem that I've never done before is false fly-open shorts. Yeah. You ever had a pair of shorts or pants where it always looks like your fly is down? Mm. Come on. Wait, so the shorts make it look like your fly is down?

Yeah, like for some reason, these idiots put a different color on the zipper or on the inside of the flap. And then the denim is worn so that it's open a little bit or it just sits there. Or if you have a large penis, it's always bulging out and splitting open. So when you're walking around all night looking like you have your fly open or you're pinching your dick like a developmentally disabled person well i've never i only own like four pairs of pants you need a new josh denny was threatening to bring you a new pair of pants at the fourth of july party i have this one pair of pants that i wore to the live show and then i it's my comfort pants they're like comfortable we just had prime

day you could have bought yourself a whole grip of well the problem with being a fat guy is isn't my weight is like changing is I don't want to buy a bunch of clothes and then you know I go down a size and I guess with pants it matters less um but I bought a bunch of like if you lose another four pounds yeah no I bought a bunch of shirts that I have to lose weight to fit into them Really? Yeah What size? Big

Like I'm too big I'm trying to get back down to 2XL So you bought 2XLs Yeah And you like And I can't fit in them That's like your prize That's my prize yeah

Do you look at Do you touch it? I have them ready to go. They were like on sale. It was like some cool Evangelion merch and stuff. I don't even know if they had 3XLs. I'm like, well, I'll just get the 2XLs and I'll slim back down. They probably had 3XL Evangelion shirts.

Speaking of which, I have to challenge George Alexopoulos, who went on Twitter and said Evangelion is bullshit. I saw him saying it was nihilistic. Yeah, and I'm like, well, you didn't watch it correctly. It's like very explicitly not nihilistic. That doesn't seem very Japanese. No, the Japanese are... I mean, it's got like some... it's dark.

Yeah. So I want to debate him about it. He's like, then I'd have to watch it again. I'm like, well, clearly you didn't watch it the first time. Even Gantz isn't nihilistic. No. In total. Did you read all of Gantz?

I read like the first bit and then I read the end. I just skipped. That girl with huge tits got killed and I said, all right, I'm out. Did you get to the part where the giant aliens explain Gantz? Yeah, I think so. And then like turn into Hitler? I don't remember the Hitler part. There's one part where one of them keeps shape shifting into different things

It's like then he has a Gandhi head Oh yes I do remember that Yeah that was cool That was cool And then every time Why can't they make that into a movie? It's so weird Every movie

It's a fucking weird concept I don't know The animated Was the animated one bad? I thought people liked that most recent animated one. They're done if they liked it. They have bad tastes and they have issues. Well, it's also a weird thing to just make that movie and it kind of like doesn't explain

what Gantz is at all. It's just like is a mission. You got to start with the explanation. Yeah. And then go backwards. Gantz is great. Well, that's my problem. Yeah.

I walked around at this bar the other night With my girlfriend People said your fly was down She goes did you know your fly is down And I said it's not And she goes well you might want to give it a look And I said no I know it's not down Because I know it's these fucking shorts

Why don't you just buy shorts that don't have Because they're very comfortable And it's a good conversation starter Actually it's not a problem. Put it down. I want women to think. Because the girls are looking at your crotch. That's probably the point of it.

It's probably specifically. You know your fly's down? Well, I know it's not. Oh, is it? Maybe you could help me out. I don't know. Could you help me zip it back up? Yeah.

Yeah. Why? What do you? Where? What fly? Like, swipe or no swipe. What do you mean? My fly? Where? And you point to your shoulders... Where? What fly? Like, Dora... Like, Swiper knows... What do you mean? My fly?

Where? And you point to your shoulders. Where's my fly? Like, no! Right there! It's right there! Well, I, uh... I'll have to see these shorts. I don't know what you're talking about.

Don't you be looking at my fly on my shorts? I'm gonna get some. And then everyone will go, Hey, that fat guy left his fly open. What a fucking idiot. Have you tried your 2XL shirt on? No, I haven't. When are you going to give it a shot?

What poundage do you have to hit? I got to get down to like 260 probably again. Before you try it on? I think so. That's like six months away. Let's hope. Further away than that. Have you been walking?

No. Why don't you start walking? I don't know where to walk. The weather's nice. Take a night walk. I have weird feet. What does that mean? That you can't walk on?

I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to talk about it because I know it's just going to be one of those things where everyone goes, oh, wow, the fat guy has an excuse for why he can't walk. What do you mean you have weird feet? I can walk. You're the one that said it. I can't walk as long as other people can walk. Like the length?

Or you need all their legs broken before you can walk? I need to build. I probably would need to. I would need braces for my. Like Forrest Gump like i need some sort of support for like my my arches or something oh okay orthotics yeah dr scholl's my for some reason part of my family like it's like a thing in the family where like we walk on the with our feet i'm not i'm not i'm not is it flated? It's like the opposite of flat footed. Square footed?

It's like we don't use all of our foot to walk. I don't know if anyone uses all of their foot. I don't use the tops of my feet to walk. Look, I don't know exactly what it is. What part of your foot do you use? Can you, can I, if I draw a foot right here, can you say which parts you use? I walk on like the outside of my feet. Here, there's the, so you say which parts you use? I walk on, like, the outside of my feet. Here, there's the... So you touch there?

Yeah. Well, that's kind of normal. Like, this part. Oh, that's not normal. Right. So you're the total outside. Like, feet tilted in. It's also why I go through shoes really quick.

Wow. I know everybody listening to this is going, that's bullshit, and he's lying, and he's just being fat. Look. Alright, I know it's stupid. I was raised wrong. I was not taught to walk correctly. However the fuck that works. I don't know if people were taught that specifically on how to walk.

It's just like a weird family genetic thing. Really? Yeah. Alright, well. You have to train yourself to walk and use like most of the padding of your foot Yeah, okay, but because like whatever with my leg, I don't know for some reason I don't use all of my foot and then I get worn out quicker than other people would all right Well, you better do that and I know everybody right now is leaving comments about how retarded that is And I should not have said anything and i'm sorry. Look, I will walk. Yeah. It's just

it's the only reason I can't stay on my feet that long. It sucks. Like I can't stay standing for like a long period of time. Like I can't go. If there's like a concert and it's like standing room only, I just can't go. Yeah. Because my legs will just give out. Uh, well, okay. Those are our problems.

The Fortnite duplicate problem. I have to say Cause you hear fat guys say shit like that And everybody goes that's bullshit You know This is a real I believe it This is a real one

Alright I know like Doesn't Boogie give excuses like this And fucking I have cancer Oh yeah Boogie's excuses You think that girl he's dating now Is a prostitute

No I think she's just Sugar mama Or like sugar baby There's a little prostitute? No, I think she's just. Sugar mama or like sugar baby? There's a little of that, I'm sure. I think there's a lot of. Yeah, Daddy Boogie. There's a lot of desperate. Daddy Boogie.

There's a lot of desperate women out there. Well, Boogie loves the, he loves having, he was having sugar babies at one point. I think he talked about it. Yeah, he does. Back when he had money. That sick bastard. He was throwing it at whores. He's so sweet

Yeah That's why he has blood cancer I should go to a doctor honestly And just be like Hey is there like inserts I can get for my shoe To like make Yeah

Like a suppository No Not a suppository Insert the Those like Dr. Scholl's things Okay That the Nazi invented To support your arches

Alright Let's We have to take like a Model of your Alright Awareness Mine and fake fly Open shorts Mine were not enough Hitler movies Yeah

And just put Fortnite Just Fortnite Sorry everyone's having so much fun Are you like a big Call of Duty guy? I just think Yeah I know I've complained About it before

But It's getting bad What why Cause John McClane Is there Cause all franchises Do not need to be The Uber franchise

Uh huh And we're learning That people are done With this franchise shit Indiana Jones Didn't make any money Well I think people are tired of,

I think the problem is that there's this weird, like, nostalgia that people are aging out of where it's like, yeah, 10 years ago, you could have got people in to see an Indiana Jones film. But now, like, what 18-year-old kid has an attachment to Indiana Jones? Like, only the ones whose parents

forced them to watch these old movies. Yeah. And they probably just wanted to watch SpongeBob. They could have made a good last Indiana Jones, like a small version of it. It should have been way less of a budget. Like $80 million. Yeah.

Yeah. That would have been like fun. Yeah. Where it's like kind of low key. The lady who played Marion was like, yeah, it's kind of depressing. I don't know why they had to kill my fucking kid.

Why did they kill Mutt? All right, here we go. Hey, Dick Vito. I recently realized that because Vito is from Boston or from Massachusetts, I should say, you know, there's obviously the Boston accent. So since he's such a fat fuck, I figured I'd try to translate so that he can understand what we're all trying to say.

Okay, here I go. Oh, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right. Wait, I don't even understand that. He just made cow noises? Well, the boss, he tried to misdirect us with the Boston part, but then he just moved. I don't think that's... I don't even get that setup at all.

The setup is bad, and you should feel bad. Okay, here we go. Biggest problem in the universe. Being gay. You know, I'm an incel like the rest of everyone else, and things are going pretty good, actually. I got a girlfriend. I got got the job i got the place okay all right that's being gay being gay got it from the universe here we go boy i get no respect

no respect at all dick i just listened to ronnie dangerfield outside of a movie for the first time in my whole life. And I mean, he's funny for like boomers. I don't... Okay, what is going on

with the fucking voicemails today? Jesus Christ! Hey, KVDU. Did we get our numbers swapped with a methadone clinic? God with the fucking voicemails today. Jesus Christ. Hey, Vito. Hi. Did we get our numbers swapped with a methadone clinic? God, say your fucking problem and then move on. Why does no one have any energy? Jesus fucking Christ.

What is happening? Vito is fat and retarded as usual. Okay. What is happening? You don't need the government Jesus fucking Christ What is going on here? Don't call If you're gonna leave a voice message like that

Don't fucking call Vito is fat and retarded Vito is fat and retarded Find yourself with a 10 second pause You've done something wrong try again Yeah press the button to re-record it Or delete it preferably What the fuck Vito

This is why everybody thinks you're a pedophile I don't think you're a pedophile But This is the most passionate I've heard you get In weeks And it's defending The lady who everyone thinks Is a child groomer most passionate I've heard you get in weeks. And it's defending the lady who everyone thinks is a child

groomer. Right. And she may not be. I don't fuck it. I'm not going to watch her stupid music video. Why would people call her that then? That's the worst thing possible. You make more people think you're a pedophile. That's fine. Every conversation I have with my friends, I have to talk about how I don't think you are. You have bad friends.

And I get yelled at. And you're making it harder for me, buddy. Get better friends. Don't fuck yourself. Okay. So as someone who's been falsely called a pedophile for like a bunch of like two years now, do you understand why when you falsely call this lady a pedophile, I might be sympathetic towards her cause and want to talk? Am I supposed to just go, well, I guess it's her turn to deal with it then?

No, you're all retarded. Am I supposed to just go, well, I guess it's her turn to deal with it then? No, you're all retarded. Yeah, the groomer shit and pedo shit has driven me left. I will vote for Biden. Good. And I will celebrate when he wins. I'm like, I haven't been called a Nazi in three years, but I've been called a groomer or pedo sympathizer or whatever.

I'm like, okay, yeah, well, I just basically hate everything. I just hate everything that you guys stand for then. If that's the case. I'm going back with the guys. I'd rather be called a Nazi, actually. I mean, I would much rather be called a Nazi. Yeah. But, yeah, I mean.

I'm not just going to go vote that way either. I'm going to help them. I don't understand how explaining to people. They're like, well, why don't you just stay out of it? I'm like, yeah, why don't I just let a bunch of people lie and call everyone group? Because that's what they want. They want to scare you out of when they go, hey, that guy's a pedophile. And you go, well, I know that guy and he's not a pedophile. They go, well, then you're a pedophile.

And it's like, that's what they want. They want you to be afraid of defending anybody. So they can just get away with it and keep saying it. We're going to go see our movie. When we get back from our movie about stopping pedophiles that Hollywood doesn't want us to see We'll take care of you Guys I can't not defend people Who are falsely accused of pedophilia

It's a really fucked up thing to do to people And you can say like Well then they're gonna call you a pedophile And it's like I'm over that hump You'd defend even Alex Jones If they called him a pedophile I would be like well The left's done it too over that hump. Even if you defend even Alex Jones. If they called him a pedophile, like I would be like,

well, if somebody on the left and the left's done it too. And I've been like, listen, you can't just call people pedophiles. Come on. This is stupid. This is ridiculous.

What about Nazis though? No, I don't know. Like, what do they do? Who'd they do it to? You need to give me evidence beyond like, again, with that Colleen lady.

It's like, what did she actually do? Tell me. They're like, well, what about this big list? I'm like, no, I don't want the big list. Pick the one thing that proves she's a pedophile. And they're like, well, it doesn't really work unless you have the list. And I'm like, then she's not a pedophile. Because if she's a pedophile, one of the things on the list would be

fucking a child! Or trying to fuck a child. If that's not on the list, then she's not a pedophile. You know what, though? Even if you showed me proof, I don't care. I got other shit that I'm doing. I don't give a shit. I do care, all right?

I don't want. There are actual pedophiles out there. Call the cops, then. I don't give a fuck. There are actual. Just don't show me this crap. I don't fucking care. Stop defending me.

I got my own stuff to worry about. Stop defending me to your friends. Tell your friends, like, I just really like him. I just do nothing. I don't give a shit. Because I am also a pedophile Stop defending me to your friends Tell your friends Like I just really like him I just do nothing I don't give a shit Because I am also a pedophile Tell that to your friends What about Epstein Island?

I don't care I don't even care that he did it I mean Epstein Island Honestly When you get down to it I'm always like Man it's not nearly as interesting As you guys want it to be

You know like Like oh I'm like It would have been like interesting If it's like he had like vats Under the fucking island And like cages and shit It's like no He just have been like interesting if it's like he had like vats under the fucking island and like cages and shit. It's like, no, he just like hired like teenagers to come fuck his rich friends. He didn't suck their blood.

He didn't do any of that. Half the shit you guys talk about. Yeah. Okay. I wish he did. I wish the world was as interesting as you guys claim it is. But no, just rich guys want to fuck kids. In a way, he's like a modern Muhammad, the prophet of the Muslim faith.

Well. Don't you think? In what Well In the Specifically in the way of like Trafficking teenagers To his friends

That's how I mean it Teenage women We support all faiths Here on I don't No I guess we don't Uh Alright here we go

An old grandpa Was talking like He knows about vaccines Cause he wants to be president Vito didn't you Fucking vote for that guy? Didn't both Didn't Trump also talk about vaccines Like he knows what he president. Vito, didn't you fucking vote for that guy? Didn't both? Didn't Trump also talk about vaccines like he knows what he's talking about?

He still talks about them. Everyone talks about them. He had the Johnson & Johnson CEO on stage at a rally, and he got booed off his ass. What are you doing, man? All right, last one. Yeah, the biggest problem in the universe is paper money. So I ordered a pizza, and I go to pick it up. It's about $20 and change, and I hand the woman a 50.

And she looks at me and goes, well, I'm sorry, but we just don't have that in the register right now to give it to you. Well, that's funny. Stupid. But okay, fine. I'll head over to the Dollar General next door and they change and come back for it. So I go into the Dollar General and I buy a lighter

and, you know, the fucking $1, $2 thing so I should be able to get some change for that and pay for this goddamn pizza like I wanted to to begin with. And the woman looks at the 50 and goes, yeah, I'm sorry, we just, we don't have the money in the register to make the change right now.

How the fuck does Dollar General not have change for a $50 bill How am I not able to spend this money fucking anywhere? I shouldn't have to deposit it into the goddamn bank account in order to spend it So I'd cause a fucking scene again I'm gonna stand here and wait until you go in the back and get my fucking keys Go in the back and get the fucking money What do you mean you don't have two 20s? Talk to the other employees.

Make change out of your fucking own bullets. I should be able to spend paper money, and yet you can't spend it anywhere. Yeah, very good. Very good point. All right. You want to do super chats now? Yes. That's the point of the show when we do super chats, right?

Yes. Okay. Vote on all the problems at biggestproblem.show. We have to record a bonus episode soon. Maybe this weekend or something. We'll Right? Yes. Okay. Vote on all the problems. At biggestproblem.show. We have to record a bonus episode soon. Maybe this weekend or something. We'll figure something out. Okay. And.

Patreon.com. Slash biggest problem. Here we go. Whoops. That's probably too far. All right. There we go. Cool.

For 10. For Dick's TBF punishment. All right There we go Cool for ten For Dick's TBF punishment How about you just rip off The creep-offs Wheel of consequences They ripped off Biggest problems format first

Thanks for the show And thanks for not Killing yourselves Oh yeah I think that's a little Complicated Also I'm not gonna make you

Spin a wheel every time That's a big We gotta come up with Punishments And they're gonna be all Fucking weird And take a bunch of time. How about you have to get an

Ewok doll or whatever the fuck Carl did? Wicket. Excuse me. Gun Ranger for five. Have you guys ever seen a boy and his dog? Also now is the perfect time to do the pro-robot protest. Oh yeah now that the actors are protesting.

Maybe you can tell them about your Hitler movie. I think I could make a pretty good. I think I could write a pretty good Hitler movie. Okay. You still got to make him a bad guy. Like, any time he starts getting, like, a little too cool, you know, he's got to be like, but really, what about these fucking Jews? And you're like, ah, he's still a bad guy.

I think this movie of yours is going to backfire. Wow. It's gonna be An enlightening look Because all of The entire American Hegemony And military

Industrial complex And our national identity Is based on Hitler being Satan Yeah And totally Irredeemably evil

In every way Black and white Morality He shits lava Yeah And he only can rape That's the only Instinct and emotion Totally, irredeemably evil in every way. Black and white morality. He shits lava. And he only can rape. That's the only instinct and emotion he has. Can't show him playing with his dog.

This is entirely forbidden. And the entire trillions, multi-trillions dollars economy relies on this retarded idea. That might be a problem right there is that the need to see. I remember I went to Bible camp. Really? Yeah. How old were you? I don't know. How many times did you get molested?

Well, let's see. I must have been eight because at least 10 or 12 times is about the average. The rapes. Yeah. I must have been eight. Count the rapes. It's like counting the rings of a tree. Yeah.

But I remember they're talking about like hell and they're like hell's so bad you wouldn't even want your worst enemy to go there yeah someone's like what about hitler and the guy's like well of course hitler and i'm like no i'm like no isn't the point no but that's the thing is i think we almost have damaged our psyches by having hitler yeah understood as a being of pure evil is like there there is no being like that. Even, even we can't have a functioning government. If all of our national identity is tied to Hitler being evil and world war two being like the rebirth of, of the Christian America,

a God, the atomic God, he was probably, he was stupid. I mean, everybody's stupid. A lot of people hated Jews. A lot of people still hate Jews.

It's not an excuse. I'm just saying like, I'm really causing trouble for myself, aren't I? You guys have a weird way of... George Washington had slaves, but you still like George Washington, right? I really... Both groups are going to be insulted by this comparison. I'm saying that all of history's men are flawed.

Which is worse, American slavery or the Holocaust? That's what I want to know. I mean, in a way, if you want to talk, you know, what is worse? I don't want to talk about it. I mean, it is probably worse to kill people than to give them a shitty job. I don't need to have an opinion on everything. Anyway. Nick Fuentes talks about this all the time, by the way.

That we shouldn't have a black and white view of morality? Of how this, the mythos of World War II and the Nazis and Hitler is like permanently suspended America's development. Yeah. And it's in every part of all of our government. I believe that the entire intellectual and emotional growth of our nation stopped after World War II. Yeah. And the mythological whatever that rose up around it. Like, oh, our boys really defeated the great evil in the ward and all wars

It's like now. We can punch a Nazi. Here's guys that punch a Nazi. Why don't you go fuck off? How about that? Yeah, our intellectual development is taking my job. How about you? Why don't you punch that little fucking prick? Yeah, we coasted for a long time on that that weird sentiment. We even try to do it in other wars It's like we're gonna get those Vietnamese to beat back those awful commies. It seems a lot more complicated than how you're painting it. It seems like some of them want to be commies, and we're just in there for our own weird monetary interest. Dry Dog for five.

Be sure to visit worldsworst.lawyer for all your Kevin A. Landau needs. Oh, okay. Worldsworst.lawyer, folks. All right. X for 10. Dick tip needed. Just got a happy ending. Wondering how to ask a non-English speaker for a segs.

We go with a happy ending at a spa? At a massage parlor? At a massage parlor. They're not going to fuck you. Well, anyone will fuck you. What do you mean? I mean, if you give them enough money. Yeah, give them money. Okay, yeah, okay. How to ask them for you. Anyone will fuck you. What do you mean? I mean, if you give them enough money. Yeah, give them money.

Okay, yeah, okay. How to ask them for sex? Hold up $200. Point to the pussy and go, how much? Hold up a $100 bill and see how they nod. You didn't come up with that on your own at the time? Yeah, there's ways to do it. That and sound usually works, too.

David Gomez for five. Biden just released order to recall inactive reserve military members to active duty to help with Ukraine. Thanks, Vito. Good, get rid of them. They're just going to train. It's only like 3,000 guys. Nuke them. Nuke the bastards. Well. Do you like

the idea of our military going to Ukraine? We got to support our boys. You mean by sending them to Ukraine? What does that mean? Gotta support our boys That was a rough one You know we really care about Ukraine

Because the flag was caught underneath the wheel of my chair No, I love Ukraine Get it done Coup for two Shaved dick looks like a 19th century gentleman. You do have like kind of a, our aristotic. Do I look like Billy Zane from Titanic?

A little bit. A little bit. I was rewatching some Titanic the other day. Yeah. How can anyone hate that movie? People hate it? Some people really hate it. It was a huge blockbuster. I don't know

One guy really didn't like it Yeah that was I don't know why It's just a good movie Someone had sex in the movie Maddox didn't like anybody having sex ever It is true that I saw somebody say

Yeah That guy's got Some hang ups He's coming back Everything's gonna be fine I haven't heard anything from Maddox In like a year right Has he popped up anywhere

I don't think so He quit banana streaming So now he does nothing He's done nothing for a year maybe Maybe he's working on a secret project. I'm sure he's got a lot of secret projects.

A lot of announcements to make. Why doesn't he podcast again? He likes that. Because he's not any good at it. He's not really that good at it I guess.

He kind of needs a good Bumpastic co-host to be opposite him. Red for five. Here's five dollars because I saw Tom Holland getting railed from behind against my will on Twitter.

Oh, okay. Nice. Thanks. Here's Riley for Big 20. Get a do-rag, homeboy. I'm going to use a Harry's razor on Eric July in much the same way. Riley is claiming. Actionable threat, he says.

Actionable threat. All right. Riley is saying that he is going to shave Eric July. Arms. He's going to shave his arms. He's going to shave his hairy arms. Good. Somebody should. Pull up. They're pretty. Gotta pull up. Eric July will be at

Comic-Con giving a panel on independent filmmaking, which makes no fucking sense. Apparently he's going to be discussing the art of animation, an industry in which he has never participated and has no insight on, but because he paid someone

to make a one-minute animated promo for his Kickstarter campaign, feels confident enough to speak on. So that's interesting because it's called Comic-Con. So ostensibly there's panels on comics, right? Yeah. And making comics and writing.

And he didn't get on any of those. He didn't get on any of those those comics so there must be some kind of quid pro there must be some kind of payoff yeah for this indie movie panel that he's on because he knows nothing about indie movies uh i'm assuming i'm just putting this together in my head exactly what's happening there's a guy named chris gore who used to be on like g4 and then is now, God, I don't know. Basically, he has not had any success since. Okay.

Short of forcing himself into that geeks and gamers inner circle and being like, I'm like an insider. I've worked in TV and movies and I know a lot about that. So they treat him like he's some sort of film guru when he's just some doofus. So they treat him like he's some sort of film guru When he's just some doofus But he still has like some industry connections So he was able to get a comic con panel About the art of indie film making Oh does he make indie films?

I think he's trying to He's made like a documentary before He makes documentaries as far as I know And he's putting Eric July on it Because it will help him pack the room That's it Because he's trying to get in with these guys Because he wants their audiences

If anybody Oh fuck I gotta show you this clip Okay So the joke now The Eric July thing Is to ask any panel that he's on If they have read I, Sam

And if so What's your favorite part? Are they doing that? Any panel that Yeah, yeah, yeah Gaston Hold on Let me

He sent this in Somebody told me that he somebody told me he got yellow flash pissed. Is that this clip or is this a different one? No, no, I think this is a different guy. Yeah, have you read I, Sam? Here we go. And if so, what's your favorite part? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is Eric July in this panel? Yes. This was sent to me

by a dickhead, a very illustrious dickhead. Because all these guys, I'm sure, are saying, here's Eric. He's like one of the best comic writers of all time. Yeah, because nobody's read his dumb comic. All you have to ask him is if they've read it or not. Yeah. Oh, God.

Okay, here we go. Let me see. Does that work? Yeah, there we go. Sure. Oh, wait. I need to make it a little smaller. Here he is on a panel, and they're all talking about how Disney's just the worst ever.

Yeah, we're going to destroy Disney. Even though Disney and Hollywood will make 10,000 good movies before the parallel economy makes even one. Well, Sound of Freedom's their one. I guarantee you it's bad. Because any movie that says based on a true story is bad. Yeah. It's a competently put together picture. That's not good.

I don't know. I made a movie is not, wow, you made a good movie. Mr. Girl apparently watched it. I'll have to ask him how good it was. I can tell you how good it was. Not good. Maybe it's, I don't know. Because they can't even give tickets away.

Have you noticed that? Well, there's some of that okay here's uh here's eric july on uh talking about how disney's falling yeah we're gonna destroy disney here's a good one uh a name i love to say guest on heaps for five dollars have any of you read isom number one or two yet if so what was your favorite part you guys are gonna have to take this one i haven't had the chance to read it. I say we put Andrew in the solo layout, and if he hasn't, this is going to be the most awkward moment in streaming history ever. No, I've read it. I've read it.

I've read it. I've read it. And I have not read Ice on 2 yet, and Newsflash. It's because I didn't have it yet. And I restrained myself from reading it while I was up in Dallas at the warehouse helping out. So what's your favorite part? As far as Ice saw one goes,

my favorite moment was actually one of the most subtle moments in the book and one that had very little dialogue, but it was the introduction of Lillian Garcia and Michael Copper. And Michael Copper is a character that I will be cosplaying at the very first Ripicon because I think it'd be pretty darn easy. But I'm really curious about the character. I like how the character's designed. I really want to learn more about

his powers. Those of you that were smart enough to get the DocuMon trading cards and learn a little bit more about the character. Is he talking about the costume designer guy at the end? As far as uh hopeful that something cool gets done with him rippa khan sounds like a lot of fun to me awesome uh we might take over sdcc what was your favorite part um uh you know well i haven't read the second one you know i really

wanted to and uh the second one's not out yet that's fair now as far as as it pertains to wherewithal if we could recircle back to the beginning question which was isom one i have read it now what was my favorite part Part I guess it was Really subtle It wasn't even in the book A guy that I'm gonna Cosplay as was introduced And I really am excited to see what happens With him

I think he Well because the only other male character I remember being Introduced would be the suit Designer at the end so you must be Talking about that guy right Who the fuck knows how do you describe that as your favorite part of anything? Unless it's the guy on the farm. What was your favorite part of Godfather? Oh, man, like the part where him and the the Baker guy after printing they have the guns and the Baker's all like oh my god What's gonna happen here? Why was that your favorite part?

Because there's a lot of tension and tries to to light the cigarette and it's like you know i like the idea that the the godfather you know you get inducted into you show your loyalty to the godfather and the baker shows back up in the series which is cool what was your favorite part of madman you ever see that uh christina hendricks's big fucking titties like great obvious obviously thank you gaston so if you're you're going to Eric July's panel on filmmaking, ask everybody if they've read IZOM number one and what is their favorite part. Oh, God. They obviously, none of them have read it.

Somebody told me that, what do you call it? Yellow Flash had a girl on like one of his shows. She was talking about like she was getting into comics or what comics she was reading. And he put in the chat, like, hey, she should get Isom. And for some reason, Yellow Flash got really mad. He's like, will you shut up with all this Isom shit? And I'm like, whoa. Hey, what do you mean?

Why would anyone shut up? That could have been a real suggestion. I don't understand. Look, we got in their heads. Honestly, we really did. It's kind of weird. We tanked Isom2's numbers. Isom2's numbers are in the fucking toilet.

They're still pretty good. They're sub-basement level. I mean, based on what I've been told about potential funds, I don't know if he's paying all those employees full-time wages, like I think he is. Yeah. He's a psychopath. Then, uh, make it $2 million a year is not going to keep that thing going. No.

And also don't buy another runner van. Cause you already have a runner van. Buy two. Buy a million vans. Buy three vans. Buy another warehouse. Uh, straight beans for $2.99 is Vito the fattest man in LA. No.

It's a lot of bigger guys. Honestly, it was pretty bad. Somebody shut up. Maybe. No, not even close. Uh,

I don't know if you saw that from the drunken peasants, Billy, the fridge is in the hospital cause he had his heart and lays only functioning at 20 or one of his vent he's only functioning at 20 or one Of his ventricles only functioning at 20% Capacity and someone's Like Vito I saw what happened to Billy the fridge and I'm Worried about you I'm like Billy the fridge weighs 460

Pounds okay I'm not In as bad health as that Canva your feet don't even work That's different I weigh 300 Whatever the hell pounds Hopefully less I haven't weighed myself Uh huh It's not great

Yeah But I'm not like I'm not like There's like mega fat And then there's like Too much fat I'm like too much fat I mean I don't know man

I'm not boogie fat No you're not boogie fat I'm not wings of redemption fat No No I'm not wings of redemption fat No you're not wings of redemption fat But could you box? I don't want to box I think all the boxes

Could you box I think I could box Okay I don't know I don't know Honestly though I get really I look at

I've always had trouble Figuring out sports Hmm I remember as a kid Being like This is basketball You dribble the ball And I'm like

How And they're like What do you mean how You just do that I'm like but how many times And they're like, this is basketball. You dribble the ball. And I'm like, how? And they're like, what do you mean how? You just do that. I'm like, but how many times? And they're like, just- Yeah, I couldn't wrap my head around it. Could you dribble the ball?

I was like, how do you- You can rap, but you can't play basketball? I can't play basketball. That's weird. I can't figure it out. And then I'm like, well, what are you supposed to do when you don't have the ball? Stand around. Yeah, but then-

Play offense. What is my- Get yourself open So you could get Passed to So my goal My goal when the other person Has the ball

Is to create With my body Some sort of Screen that prevents them From getting the ball Into the hoop Well No it's to

It's to stop the other guys From being open for a pass Or to make yourself Open for a pass To advance your team Towards the fucking net See like I would need to Sit down And I would need to like Study, and I would need to study it.

Yeah, they do that. Yeah, I know. I know they do, but there's certain things I can't. You should know instinctually on some level how to play. I have to get like, I don't know. But with boxing, I go, I watch people box. I'm like, how do they not just keep getting hit in the head? Well, they hit their hands.

They do this, right? Yeah, but how do they prevent from getting hit on the side? Well, they hit their hands. They do this, right? Yeah Yeah, but like how do they prevent from getting hit on the side? Well, they are supposed to get in really tight not like this like fucking this Shield and you move. Yeah, I couldn't react to it. I couldn't do it I don't think I would have the reflexes to not just get hit in the head a million times. Well, that's possible Yeah, I watched boogie get hit in the head a million times. I went. Yep Well that's possible I watched Boogie get hit in the head a million times And I went yup

I went that makes perfect sense That was bad And he only got 15,000 bucks for that And he didn't even get shorts that fit him How did he not get shorts Did he not try the shorts on before the thing They had to duct tape his shorts During the fucking thing what a nightmare

They should have put suspenders on him like the bear hugger From Super Punch Out He has no waist Was the problem During the fucking thing What a nightmare They should have put suspenders on him Like the bear hugger From Super Punch Out He should have had He has no waist Was the problem Well His waist is the biggest thing on him Yeah it's like

More out than the rest of his It's like if a man has no waist You gotta give him suspenders Yeah Okay Anyway Black Angus Reviews For two

This is for Vito's extra TP I do need extra TP Did you ever figure out who broke your toilet roll? Search continues. Should have put a camera in the bathroom. Riley Edwards for five. I like to harp on Vito, but keep up the good work. Dix looks like the guy playing the pan flute on the Dorito Dynamita commercial.

I have not seen that. Let's see if this is an insult. Dorito Dynamita. This guy? This guy's got a mustache, though. Well, this might not be the same one. That one? That's the model search, so there must be multiples.

Oh. We'll have to find it. Send us the clip if you're going to make a reference to a thing. Yeah, come on, Riley Edwards. Eric Wong for two says, Vito's right. Critical drinker sucks so hard. I don't know this guy at all. Yeah, a lot of people are mad that I don't like his videos.

I've tried watching them. And then like, okay, here's an example of his movie review. He goes like, I just went to see Indiana Jones and here's how I feel. And then he'll cut to remember that lady screaming about Trump, you know, wearing the like yellow vest. She just goes, ah! And then I'll go like, they really thought this movie was good. And then I'll cut to J. Jonah Jameson from Spider-Man going, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. And I'm like, and he does that in every single review.

And I'm like, okay, so he just plays memes you like and then says uninformed things about the art of filmmaking. The art of filmmaking, huh? Well, another thing is somebody left a comment on like the Reddit where they're like, well, Vito doesn't know shit about movies either. And the answer to that is, yeah, you're right. I don't really, I don't know a lot about like lighting and special effects and all that shit. Really, all I care about is story.

That's the only thing I can effectively critique. Okay. Is like plot and storyline and characters. Anything else like, oh, the director's fucking mize on scene and his whatever his directorial output. I don't know. I don't know anything about that. Okay.

I can tell you if a story sucks. And I think that's probably the part of the movie most people care about anyway. I think they just want to hear that it's woke. Yeah. Well, that's kind of become the problem. Disney is failing for some reason, even though Disney has made a lot of great stuff. Well, they got to turn some things around, which they will. They'll be fine. For some reason They love that Even though Disney Has made a lot of great stuff Yeah Well They're

They gotta turn some things around Which they will They'll be fine They got money in the bank A, B, Q Hasley for five Hey Vito My drink of choice

Is a mix of one part Arizona fruit punch Three to four parts Diet Mountain Dew I do like that Arizona fruit punch No Try it as an alternative

To regular dew What if I get a What do you call it? Diet Double Dew. Have you ever seen that in South Park? No, it's not. Where Carmen's like, I'm drinking Double Dew. It has twice the calories and caffeine of regular Dew.

And then later, they're like, dude, you shouldn't be drinking that. He's like, don't worry, I've switched to Diet Double Dew. It has half the calories of Double Dew. I'm like, well, that's just Mountain Dew then. I get it. It's a good joke. Riley Edwards, five. Hitler will be played by Cat Williams in Disney's new Hitler autobiography.

I got no problem with that. Guys, if there was a big budget Hitler movie, we would all go see it. The man who inspired a nation. It's just not the right one or in the right way. It's not a comedy either, you keep saying. Dipper for five. The Hitler biopic would be gender swapped like Ghostbusters 2016. All right.

I get it. I get the joke. Spider-Turtle for two. I'm so sick of World War II movies. I want original movies. It's never going to happen. Black Angus reviews for two. I would pay it forward so all could see Hitler.

I could see them spelling it like that with like cool like. Three for an E? Yeah. You know? Because it's like. How is that accurate? Remember they made that Marie Antoinette movie, but it had that with like cool like three for an E. Yeah. You know, because it's like. How is that accurate? Remember they made that Marie Antoinette movie, but it had all that like punk rock marketing from Sofia Coppola.

I don't remember that. Well. See Villa for $6.48. Vito, I just delivered your 28 pounds of butter and creepy pornographic comics from Japan. I put them next to the lotion for you. What a. What a. Thank you.

Entertaining super chat. Thank you. It's you. What a, what a entertaining super chat. Thank you. Exciting. John riffs for a thousand Japanese yen. Ni hao. Tried watching critical drinker years ago. Got through like four videos, anti-woke buzzwords,

hack alcoholism jokes and jokes about his hot fictional girlfriend, Tatiana. He's definitely cruising on that accent. I told a lot of people hate that guy. I didn't know that. Did I tell you what he said about across the spider verse? what okay you saw that movie right yeah i remember how the white peter parker is like a very well adjusted dad yeah he's like the most emotionally stable in the character in the whole movie yeah he went it is kind of curious that hollywood would take the

only white man in the movie and emasculate him with a pink bath Robe and have him Acting childishly And goofy and I'm like no he's The dad he's literally the pinnacle Of what a spider-man like they're showing you If you overcome all your trauma And whatever else you can be so laid Back and happy and satisfied

Yeah you're banging Mary Jane You have a daughter like The filmmakers are very clearly telling you in Across the Spider-Verse. Because he's wearing pink? Yeah. A pink robe? Because he's wearing a pink robe.

They're saying he's being emasculated like a woman. Spider-Man has a huge problem with his masculinity. I know. The filmmakers are very clearly telling you this is the pinnacle of what a Spider-Man can be. Like, he's the best Spider-Man. He's happy. It's like a dad joke, too.

Yeah, it's just a little joke. It's fun. But instead they have to have these weird fucking conspiracy theories about, well, it's probably because the feminists writing it. It was written by Miller and Lord. Those guys are funny. They don't hate men. You guys are weirdos.

Pop Quiz for $20 says, I love you. Thank you, Pop Quiz. I Come Buckets for $2. I Sum is black. Hide your wallets. James Gartner for $20, says I love you. Thank you, Pump Quiz. I come buckets for two. I sum is black. Hide your wallets. Disavow. James Gartner for 20. Dick is the critical drinker.

I don't know about this other guy. That's true. Fetty Soul Puss gives us 2,000 R's, which I believe is $50. Thank you. Or something close to that. Wow. Guys, amazing show. It surpassed the original biggest problem.

That might be $100. They need to convert it on here. In my opinion, by the way, this Ripper vs. Crap is so freaking funny. One of the greatest internet moments since Vito vaped rancid e-girl bathwater and Dick injected saline solution into his balls live on stream. Keep it up. Thank you.

Thank you, friend. Britsman for five. I visited a denston. I'm going to assume you meant dentist, in the hood to get a cavity checked out, but he just told me, yo, tooth, shut up. You want to read that one? Yeah, no. Your tooth should be fair and not worry. Okay.

Jared M. Schwan for two. I love how Vito is the straight man in this comedy. How am I the straight man? I just said I want a Hitler movie That seems a little out there Jerry S. for ten The biggest problem in the universe Is young millennials and zoomers

Being nostalgic for the 80s People born in 1998 Who want to be Ferris Bueller Or Marty McFly Make me sick Who is that? Yeah I haven't met these people I don't know what this is

Marty McFly? He's got Parkinson's No one wants to be his ass Well. Marty McFly? He's got Parkinson's. No one wants to be his ass. Well, that Marty McFly doesn't have Parkinson's. He might. All that time traveling messes up your brain, probably. They should make a movie where... If they ever make a Back to the Future

4, he should be shaking and be like, I kept traveling around and it was a bad idea. It shouldn't have kept going. It takes 10 minutes to hit the date in on the time pad. Fuck. Fuck. Okay. I want to do that sketch now.

Back to the Future 4. Get the time in there, Marty. Keep hitting it wrong. Mr. Cool Ice for 20 says, Vito did not mention the best part of the black school debaters. They use the N-word a lot. Oh, really? Look up debate American style. All right.

Let's look this up. No, they say the N-word. Yeah, but if we watch a video of them saying the N-word. lot. Oh, really? Look up debate American style. All right, let's look this up. No, they say the N-word. Yeah, but if we watch a video of them saying the N-word. That's how I lost my channel, watching videos that are- You can't watch black people say the N-word. I'm pretty sure you can. Okay. It's a scholarly debate.

Okay. Are we watching it to make fun of it or not? We're not going to make fun of it. We're going to watch it. This is how- I'm just telling you right now. This is how you lose the channel. It's a YouTube video. You video explain that to the fucking pot when the channel goes down you can explain it to the bottom anyway There's nothing we do about it. How it is. I want to see the video okey-dokey

We're watching a sky. Oh, and it's on YouTube so you know that it will get struck a hundred percent chance that this will get struck Just put it on for like two seconds. Okay. There's no arguing it. Taliesin University's debate team wins, claiming an historic win. They are the first all-black women's team to win the cross-examination debate association national. You want to skip it to the actual debate? Well, it's kind of funny that they're talking about how great they are at debate.

Nina Ruffin and Corey Johnson both here to talk about the major victory. Ladies, way to go. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you so much. You've made so many people proud in this area. Now we want to pick your brain a little bit as we admire your huge trophy, by the way. That's ridiculous.

They must be really good. But I'm going to ask you first. We'll start with you, Amina. What was the topic, first of all? The topic was restricting presidential war powers authority. They say the nigg's always already queer. That's exactly the point. It means that the impact is, that is an impact turn

to the, that it is a case turn to the affirmative because we are saying that queer bodies are not able to survive. It necessarily means that the body of the nigga is not able to survive. We got the topic in about July. We started doing our research then. When the nigga sees these kids,

it's slowly debating. It's still only debate. I'm learning about debate. I'm learning. This is empowering. This is empowering. Okay. Alright, alright, alright. I got it.

Now I know how to debate. Now I know. What the? You hear that thing where they go, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh. I'm sure I can't even say that. Yeah, you have to fill every possible... Why are they on top of a bucket doing it?

Anyway. Why indeed? So this is what... Remember, this was when you were arguing that debate is a very important thing. It is. And this is how a scholarly debate should be conducted. So you don't want to go explain to those guys why adrenochrome is not real? I might do it because it would be fun.

You don't think that's valuable? Okay, but I'm not going to force weird, nerdy science guys to do it because they're not equipped for it. I'm equipped for it As an idiot comedian Who can go Yeah well you're an idiot And you're a PDF file And blah blah blah

You know Alright Some guy who spends all day Working on vaccines Is not equipped In the same way But he doesn't He spends all day

Going on TV Talking about vaccine How kids can be vaccinated Jesus Christ Alright Jetbat for five Says where are my fucking pens For another five

He says where are my fucking pens And for another five, he says, where are my fucking pins? And for another five, he says, where are my pins? Vito, the answer is I have- Another five and you would have known. That's not enough. I have your address written down. I'll send them out on Monday. Big Bones Jones, I have a fat friend.

He says he wants to lose weight, but he has a million excuses as to why he doesn't. He was going to take walks, but he stopped because a homeless person scared him. Don't make excuses. I'm working. Homeless people can be pretty frightening. Look, I just, I do need to build up my leg strength. So if anybody has some good ideas on that, let me know. Or if anybody knows, I got a million things I got to do.

All right? Are you going to start debating what you have to do? I got to go to the doctor. I got this doctor's appointment and I keep pushing it off because I keep not getting this clinical lab done and I got to do the labs. Why? Because I'm dying. Well, what do you think they're going to tell you?

I don't know. I think he wants like an ultrasound or something. Is it Dr. Nell that you're going to? Yeah, I'm going to Dr. Nell. No, or now Doctor now Doctor now You know who that is No

No Doctor now She's not a good doctor What are they Ultrasounding you I don't even remember At this point Your body I don't know if it was

An ultrasound We did some lab And something came back And something was elevated And he's like Well let's just take a look At that it's probably nothing Which means it's probably cancer

So Who fucking knows Greg's coding for five Kingdom Hearts still one of the gayest crosshangers ever you need TBF to Fortnite and COD and he said it again because the thing is broken haha yeah for two Dick your face looks smaller than usual today Jorby Jimson

for 20 can you not click off the thing stuff like Fortnite is so much of a game as it is a billboard for corporations to advertise their IP. Space Jam 1 is magic because it's Jordan

plus Looney Tunes. Space Jam 2 is LeBron plus the entire WB catalog. Too much going on. I absolutely agree. People should watch my review of Space Jam 2.

It was a good review. That movie sucked. It was so bad. It was not a... It's not good. It was like way too complicated not It's not good It was like Way too complicated too Yeah

Scroll down Scroll down Right there Who are these podcasts Don't fucking Laugh at that Who are these podcasts For five says

Vito you look skinny Congrats Thanks Carl You piece of shit Don't laugh at that. Who are these podcasts for five says Vito. You look skinny. Congrats. Thanks, Carl. You piece of shit. Don't laugh. I'm laughing. Why are you laughing

so hard? I was thinking about funny. Asshole. Wow. He really, he really got you with that one.

He really tickled you. I wasn't expecting Carl to come in and call me a fat piece of shit With his little backhanded joke Thanks

Good You should ask him about his feet problems He's got club feet problems Does he have club feet? I think so If Vinnie Paulino is anyone to believe Yeah, that's true Haha, yeah man

Says Dick, your face looks extra small today Yeah, he said that Rack on for some amount of weird fucking foreign money i don't care the slanted things they say about veto i will always support him no matter how many synagogues he burns down i stand with zito thank you recon exactly six million for two another man who would like the hitler movie says the biggest problem is vomiting blood on my way to the er don't super chat on your way to the ER. Just go to the ER.

Jesus Christ. He's on his way. Relax. All right. George Ptolemy for five. Just dropping in. Shaving was a huge mistake. Yeah, I know.

I don't like being all shaved. That'll come back in like two seconds. I don't really care how I look anymore. PW Project for two. Says you guys got Joaquin Phoenix on the show. Hey, look at you. Oh, yeah. I need a hair lip. A little bit of a Joaquin right anymore. PW Project for two says, you guys got Joaquin Phoenix on the show. Hey, look at you. Oh, yeah. I need a hair lip.

A little bit of a Joaquin right there. Eric Wong for five. The Fortnite crossover problem is happening with Magic the Gathering 2. Optimus Prime, Godzilla vs. Gandalf, Rainbow Dash, M. Bison. I did not realize that the Lord of the Rings magic cards were legal in tournament formats,

and it makes me upset. Is that not supposed to be the case? I thought that they were only legal in Legacy Which I already thought was stupid but I'm like Well at least they're not in Modern but now in Modern That stupid one ring card That stupid four cost Artifact is just like taken over

The format and So yeah now when you play Magic the Gathering You're just playing some stupid Lord of the Rings game now Great they're also doing a whole Doctor Who set he mentions, which is ridiculous. Doctor Who magic? Yeah, they're doing a Doctor Who set. It's going to be like the Lord of the Rings set. Yeah, it's very dumb.

At least Lord of the Rings is fighting. Doctor Who is like sarcastic fucking commentary. That would be like a Star Trek The Next Generation magic set. They'll do that at some point. They'll get Star Wars. Cue a billion of a billion. Cue Planeswalker. That's all magic's going to be, man.

It's actually really sad. Mr. Abstruse for 10 says, I'm quite straight as a matter of fact. Ha ha. That's not what I hear. Wow. Jim Satala for 20, call to prayer. No. No.

You guys should do a bonus episode movie review of Sound of Freedom and point out every factual inaccuracy. Oh, God. I just don't want to see that movie. It doesn't sound interesting to me. I want, like, fun characters with quippy. I'm already aware of kids getting raped. Is there any quippy dialogue? Post the best quips. I want some Marvel

quips. I like the part where they're listening to kids laugh on the beach and the fat guy goes, you hear that sound? And then it doesn't say it on the ad, but then you're supposed to think sound of freedom. That's the sound of freedom. Little kids laughing because they're not being raped. Is the fat guy a good guy? Yeah, he's his sidekick.

I heard there's a scene where he beats the shit out of him. He pretends to be a pedophile So he could talk to a pedophile To figure out where The other pedophiles are That's a little bit much For me fellas I'm like I don't want to see

This movie I wish you the best I'm gonna hit that Whole dusty trail here I'll just go see Indiana Jones again There's no scene Where Indiana Jones

Has to pretend to be a pedophile To find the pedophile That doesn't sound fun. I'm not going to see face off. Yeah, that would be better. King Pooper for five has the PDF of Ice on One if anyone wants it. Disavow. Do not pirate.

He's just kidding. Media. Yes. PW Project for two. Biggest problem in the universe. Baby face. Also, what happened to Sargon? What do you mean what happened to Sargon?

He's still nailing it. That's what happened to Sargon. He's on Twitter. Michael winning for two. I don't know why Sargon follows me on you mean what happened to Sargon? He's still nailing it. That's what happened to Sargon. He's on Twitter. Michael winning for two. I don't know why Sargon follows me on Twitter, but he does. He chimes into my threads sometimes. Are you a liberalist? Maybe that's why.

Are you a fellow liberalist? Is that what he calls himself? I think so. He likes to show up and needle me with this like, well, that's what the liberals want, Vito. And I'm like, God damn it, Sargon. Go away. Michael winning for two. The boogie

shorts definitely like that on purpose. I don't know, man. Didn't he buy his own shorts? I mean, it would have been funny if he got demolished like King Hippo. Just pop him in the mouth and every time you do, his shorts fall down. I kind of get the feeling it was not on purpose. He should have put that little cross tape on his

belly button. That would have been funny. That would have been funny. Missed opportunity voted up. It also is sad when he goes, yeah, I basically got ripped off by Keemstar But it's worth it for some reason And I'm like, no, make him pay you money You should have let the internet negotiate for you, dude You're like the worst at everything in life Oh, dude, you probably could have like kickstarted it

Like I'll fight if $50,000 are raised on this Kickstarter Yeah, you would have got it And you would have pirated the fight yeah like yeah give if you want me okay keem you don't want to pay me i'm just gonna kickstart it and everyone will pirate it yeah how about that that would have been uh smart on the john for 10 if you want to see a good eric july panel troll clip pull up day 24 of riley walking up a hill series riley continues to walk up a hill every day. I don't know how to find that. He's been posting them on Twitter. Does he post them on Instagram as well? Or not Instagram,

YouTube? Just go to his Twitter. Go to Twitter. What's his Twitter? ASC Presents. Riley is doing fitness better than me. Every day he's walking up a hill He's got a Ripaverse shirt that he made

And there's day 33 Are they in order? Yeah Oh he's got the whole thing Day 24 Okay Oh here's a panel Alrighty

Okay Can I preface with Guys don't go too hard on Aaron Chilock Why? He made shitty art. That's the worst thing you can do. It's worse than being a pedophile. I mean, it is.

He made art that sucks. What business are you in? I just feel like we could pause and wait for more. I'm shriveling. You know what? Do whatever feels right, guys. I don't actually care. Did you read Ice Om and if so, what was

your favorite part? That's the bit. Here's what's happening is I'm starting to think Eric Chalai's dumb. He is dumb. Yeah, you didn't know that? Yeah, But now I'm like Getting like this weird Like I feel bad

Trolls remorse That's what that's called It's like with That's the pride Leaving you son It's like with Maddox Who fucked up his whole life But I go like

Well you could've just not Been a fucking idiot Yeah It's like I want Eric July To go You know what These guys are right I shouldn't have

All these employees And I don't need These warehouse He's never gonna do that though I don't Yeah I know Yeah you don't. Yeah, I know. Yeah, you got to push through that feeling that you have. That's when you go. I should learn how to

like write or like hire guys who know how throwing up. What happens on day 24? Eric, I'm sorry. This this weirdo guy is like sending me hundreds of dollars. But as long as you get money, let them keep, you know, ASC presents. I'm going to come in. I'm going

to come shave you, Eric, and none of these people can save you. Yeah, you've been doing some stuff on Twitter. Accepted you, man. Yeah, I appreciate the money. These people keep sending more, you know,

he's like, I'm just gonna Basically says he's gonna see you when he's off from this is the guy that wants to shave your beard. He's got another wise I got see Yeah, I think it's the same guy that thought I was five six boys that guy Yeah, he said another is like a pretty continue to grow the river charity frauds 7050 books to say that I want to call him in your arm hair the state's reason why before you before you see a doctor just keeps in a super chat yeah keep saying a 50 down on the money so. Yeah, send them on your way to therapy. No, the fatty bacon is the best kind of bacon.

I learned this because the first time I went to the warehouse, Eric was in full mission mode. He was not speaking. No words, no nothing. And it was on day four when I heard him say the most. I'm inspired, man. I ain't eating no crunchy bacon. There you are again for $20. I apologize.

I'm a big Igor fan after this stream. I forgive you. I still don't think women should work in comics, though. Thank you for the $20. I don't know what that means. Because your hair is more glorious. I only highlight it because it's $20. We're at

24,500 books sold, and that's not including donated I don't want to miss anybody Because the one time Eric July missed my super chat I think I let him know For like a year It was the greatest day of my life And that crazy guy's in my chat with another 20

Hey if you don't say Ethan Ralph on stream I won't get paid back for these chats Oh Ethan Ralph there you go I don't get paid back for these chats. Oh, Ethan Ralph. There you go. I don't really know the guy, but,

uh, you get more money flowing to you. You don't know Ethan Ralph. Whatever, but thank you for sending a lot of money over here. Eric July is, he's worried,

man. He knows Riley's coming for him. He's going to shave his arms. You guys coming on this live stream and making me some money. AIC presents. Thanks for sending money. You guys coming on this live stream and making me some money.

AIC Presents. Thanks for sending money. The Club Reverse. Riley's going to take your warehouse and your van and shave your arms. He's going to convert your fucking warehouse into a barbershop. Yep. He's going to be shaving everybody. He's going to be lining them up, shaving them down. I'm going to shave you.

You are not safe. There is nowhere for you to go. Just like, stop wearing tank tops, man. Or shave your fucking arms. Oh, well. Oh, my God. I got to retweet that. Hold on.

Classic Riley. I should be walking up that hill. It's a good idea, Riley. You inspire me to want to get in shape and shave my own enemies. Demand show for $2.20. Hey, guy. Trying to get the word out. I was T-boned by a 60-year-old woman running a red FD

over a lazy popo while I was unresponsive and concussed. Gotta go fund me. Can't link. Brain sucks. Okay. Someone got hit by a thing. And you have a GoFundMe. The name of the GoFundMe would help.

Yeah, I think on the last, didn't on the last episode we talk about how when people are like, here's my GoFundMe. Hey, can you give your fans this GoFundMe? I know they got a lot of fans and they got money. Can you give me some of that money? Why did you give us 20 bucks if you need the money? Well, because it's an investment. Yeah, it feels like you're spending the $20 to make more money back

Right but you gotta get the name in there Yeah The name is important Okay I'll say this his name is Duman Toku For you That can't possibly be the name of the GoFundMe No Okay

Someone's hurt They need money Do with that information what you will everybody Well Okay Someone's hurt And uh They need money Do with that information What you will everybody We're not gonna make What are we gonna do Like make a video about it

Give it Put the link Buy a One of Buy a super killer And then we'll send that To the hospital And just become

Yeah wildly successful yourself And then when you get I should've just ran a cancer scam Instead of doing a comic book Probably could've made more money Yeah I do I think I do know Who that guy is Is he a comic book. Probably could have made more money that way. Yeah, I do. I think I do know who that guy is. Is he a good guy?

Do we like him? Yeah, he's a good guy. All right. Yeah. His GoFundMe is... Serious car accident at the worst time. Jesus Christ. Serious car accident at the worst time.

I don't know how you link stuff with the... You can post it in the chat. I can? Are you sure? Yeah, if you bring up the chat. Okay. Which, for some reason, is not loading. Yeah, well, you know what? We don't you bring up the chat. Okay. Which for some reason is not loading. Yeah.

Well, you know what? We don't want fans to get hit by cars. So. Here. There. Just don't give us 20 bucks. Give us five bucks. We could have posted it.

Jesus Christ. Shorten your story a little bit. All right. All right. All right. Wait. Why does it say error? Is it still streaming?

I think it's still streaming. It said that the whole time. Okay. Keyframe frequency nonsense. Cool. I don't know what that is. Okay. Spider Eternal 2 says the Critical Drinker would be a great guest. Do it. The whole time Okay Keyframe frequency nonsense Cool I don't know what that is Okay Spider Eternal 2

Says the critical drinker Would be a great guest Do it I don't think he's coming on Tegan determined for 5 I tried to buy Super Killer On the funding site But I don't have a credit card

And then I'll take PayPal Did I miss something No get a credit card How do you buy things online Yeah what are you talking about What are you saying with PayPal You don't even buy You don you can buy a cash card. Go to the store.

Use PayPal to buy like that. PayPal has a credit card. Yeah, get a PayPal credit card, and then you can use it as a credit card. I'm trying to see if there's a To Be Fair in there. I don't have a credit card in the emergency room. No. No, okay. JJ for two.

RIP channel. Have fun on Cozy. Have fun on Cozy. We're not getting banned for showing a debate. All right, here we're fresh one more time. We were learning about the spirit of debate, okay? If I don't know how to debate, RIP. Steve for two says, RIP, biggest problem on YouTube.

See you on Rumble. It was a video of debates. I'm learning how debates are conducted. They literally won a trophy for it. That was educational. I didn't make fun of them. I said, this seems like a strange way to debate. And I'm pretty sure that the white side is not allowed to use some of the tactics the black side is using.

I feel like they'd get in trouble. I think there's certain words. If you're having a debate and one side's allowed to use words, the other side isn't allowed to use, isn't that an unfair advantage? Yeah, but the white people are allowed to use a lot of words correctly. Now, see, that's why we're going to get banned. PW Project, for $2, I suck on the oxen. And exactly $6 million for two.

This isn't a joke. Vito should do sumo exercises. Yeah, do sumo exercises. Whatever that means. Dips. Do some dips every day. Wow. Do 10 dips.

I do look at those sumo guys, and they look like they're having fun. Yeah. Put up the list of our supporters on the screen. Guys, I got to remind you, don't forget to re-up your Patreons. Really helps the show out. Helps us make things happen. We got a new bonus episode coming next week or so. Anything going on with you, Dick?

No. I will say. I have a new bonus episode. Oh, good. Have you ever heard maddox singing the song for our cartoon i heard you looking for i saw you looking for it uh was his singing very good uh what do you think no i assume it's not i can't imagine maddox being a great singer i would like to hear it so we had that we did that cartoon with fox um was it for fox yeah it's for fox

animation or for fox do you you still have the pilots somewhere? Yeah, I played them all on a bonus episode And made fun of them Is there more than one episode? There's three little mini episodes It was a dumb idea that Fox did Make three little episodes Instead of just one short one

Because what's a 90 second cartoon? I don't know And then they didn't get anybody's cartoon and then they spent all their money on one cartoon from a celebrity hey there's a panel on animation you should do you probably have actual insight on the process and how it works uh yeah i 100% this fantastic song all right yeah you would almost think that you would want like an animator to give the talk not a guy who paid an animator Alright here we go

But sure This is So I wrote a song For Maddox to sing On our cartoon Yeah Cause like songs are a good way To make people

Sure Think they had a good experience Watching your show That's why everybody likes That stupid Bob's Burger show Yeah Yeah A lot of singing

So then here Sean found all the All the All the takes that Maddox did trying to sing the song that I wrote. Okay. And here's one of them. There's like 17 of these. There's 17?

Which is fucking amazing. Here they are. Here's one. I am the greatest. I am the greatest man in the world. I am better than all those stupid little boys and girls. And if you see me coming, you better get out of my way. Because my balls are so big, their momentum is impossible to change.

I am the greatest. I am the greatest man in the world. Did you tell him to do it better? I am better than all those stupid little boys and girls. This is a primetime Fox cartoon. What do you mean? Is his character supposed to be unable to hit a note? His character is literally him.

Yeah, he's just a morose. And he got replaced in his own cartoon. Really? With a successful voice actor? Yeah Okay Oh that guy's way good He was the only one

That got replaced Of all of us Really? Yeah When was that decision made In the process? On the third line That he read in the studio

Nope He said What are we gonna do here? Yeah You wanna hear another one? But he has a voice Was he just not able to do it Like in the booth?

He can't act He can't act But he acts in his like videos Kinda He's doing like a character Uh But he You're telling me Banana Docs can't act?

Come on He has to become Banana Docs Well he should have done that For himself He couldn't do himself He couldn't do himself He couldn't become like a

Hyper He couldn't become a hyper version of himself. Here's another one. I am the greatest man in the world. I am better than all the stupid little boys

and girls. Why did he not try to be like a cartoon character? If you see me coming, you better get out of my way. No one's gonna watch. This is so bad. Because my balls are so big, their momentum is impossible to change. So he was doing it. I am the

greatest. I am the greatest man in the world. What do you think of this performance? Did he think like, I guess, this is the character? He just doesn't try at all. Stupid little boys and girls. He puts in no effort. Is that part of the bit? Can't you feel him having fun doing the thing in the sun?

No, he's not even trying. Which maybe he thought was a creative decision, but he was reading it, I think. Yeah, I think you gotta act. One thing they say about voice acting is you really have to overact. Oh. I wouldn't sing they say about voice acting is you really have to overact Oh because the the character can only express so much emotion of the animation that the voice is gonna carry a lot of the performance I think you got the reverse sing talk your way through a song. Oh

Really? Yeah. Well, here's when he really Yeah, I am the greatest I am the greatest man in the world. Why even record it again? It's the same shit performance. I am better than all those stupid little boys and girls. If you're not going to do it any differently than the time you did it before, there's no point in doing it again. And if you see me coming, you better get out of my way. What do you think?

What was missing from the prior performance that you have added here? Because my balls are so big, their momentum is impossible to change. Hold on, just one more take. Just one more take. I got a different take on it. I got a different take on it this time. I am the greatest. Just one more take. Because my balls are so big, their momentum is impossible to change. I am the greatest man in the world. I am better than all the stupid little boys and girls. At any point, did anyone tell him, like, no, George, you actually have to try. Like you have to like kind of sing it.

I don't know. This is the 15th take. So he's clearly learned. 16th because the first one's not numbered. So he's learned something and this will be different. This is the final take. Okay. So let's see how far he came. All right.

I am the greatest. I am the greatest man in the world. I am better. What is it? Than all those stupid little boys and girls. Why? What is the point? And if you see me coming, you better get out of my way. Because my balls are so big, their momentum is impossible to change. I am the greatest man in the world. I am better than all the stupid little boys and girls.

I don't know how this man didn't take Hollywood by storm. He was the original Hollywood's out of ideas. We're going to create our own Hollywood, by the way. Hit, uh, hit see all real quick. Uh,

yeah, good stuff. What a guy. I miss banana ducks. Why, how did you not make that into a show? I don't know. It would have been good guys.

Biggest problem in the universe. Vote it up at biggest problem. That show. And don't forget patreon.com slash biggestproblem and back.by slash biggestproblem. Goodbye. Goodbye. That's number 98?