The Biggest Problem in the Universe - HACKAMANIA 2

Episode Date: May 9, 2025

["Biggest Problem in the Universe!" plays.] Welcome to the Biggest Problem in the Universe! Uh, shit, I didn't get a rhyme. I already fucked up. The only show that ranks every problem in the universe. From Nick's Come to Help Me Out. Having too much FUN. Having too much FUN. I'm your host, Dick Manchester. Joining me as always is Vito Giswold.

Hi, Dick. I'm very excited to be here. Oh, man, it's already better. Hackamania 2. There's no fucked up banner in the back. Look at this! Perfectly straight! Wonderful! We have audio this time, we have video this time. And we're gonna take advantage of it.

I remember last year I tried to do a karaoke with my phone held up to the microphone and that was it there. Last year we were about this close to being the kind of show that these guys make fun of. Yeah. And I was pretty sure that we were going to do that again. I think they only invited us back as cringe of the year. I think we were supposed to get an award when Carl. Yeah. Where he is. But I have seen something before the show that took this.

What you're going to see right now from a two to at least a seven. You're gonna wanna stick around. I don't wanna call it early. Until the end of the show, because we have a big surprise for all of you. I think we're having a lot of fun. Dick, you just got in, you drove down to Vegas. I got here yesterday.

Yeah, yeah, and I gotta say, I made the stupid choice to do two shows with Carl like two weeks ago, and then I woke up the next day with this like ear splitting tinnitus, like painful Muslim prayer siren in my head all day, which was always, it was always a dream of mine to never be able to hear, you know? I hate it, I hate listening.

Especially now that you're getting married. Yeah. That's a groner. Ha ha. Ha ha. So if I start sounding a little like deaf guy, I haven't spoken in a week and a half because it's been just like painful. My own voice has been painful,

which I also have always wanted my own voice to cause pain. But I monkey-pawed myself and it happened to me. And for those of you watching the livestream, the reason, you know, the audience is so quiet and respectful and not laughing or interacting in any way is surly out of respect for Dixie-ers. We don't want to blow them out tonight. It's because they think they're at a MLM conference.

Look at these tables. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Can you sell me a rental, can you sell me a beer, sir? Yes, we should stand back. You're never getting to the top of the pyramid, man. You're fucked. Sir, can you sell me the decision to have a kid at 45?

Yeah, who did sell you that idea? How the fuck did you get roped into that shit? You already had the dog. I was like, ah, he's fine with the dog. I don't know, Trump won and I got like overwhelmed with stupid emotions. I said everything's gonna be great finally. Let me have a kid. Oh shit, whoops.

The liberals can't poison him anymore. Finally my time is here. Yeah, so if I start sounding like a deaf guy, it's because I have glue in my ears. It's just warned me by going like, dirt dirt dirt dirt. I really appreciate it. Well, we're very excited to be here.

And I think we've prepared a selection of problems we think will excite this crowd. It's going to be the biggest problem in the dabble verse. Uh-oh. Yeah. Uh-oh. What? What?

What? What? What? What? I didn't touch the mic. Your mic is out. My mic is out? Oh, it's back. It's back. Why the fuck would you point at me?

I haven't done again Again, thank you just a Regular show and everyone went who are these idiots? Why are they not talking about Aaron Emholdt? We really fucked that up didn't we? So there's no stancho this guy are doing the stutjo and really I will do some stutjo pocket So we crammed the dabble verse stuff. So we're doing biggest problem in dabble verse. Yes Welcome to hackamania again. Thank you Patrick Melton for putting this together You couldn't tell by looking at him, but he's a hell of a guy, you know competent hard-working You put this all together for all,

and generous, unbelievable. This is nothing like those carl events, let's put it that way. Nightmare everyone. Okay, I got some biggest problem in Dabbleverse stuff first from the audience, Coop said it's a Mother's Day show. Were you Coop, yeah. We're good friends too. That's rough, right?

Thank you for not telling yourself. Like, we haven't done enough for Mom to Mom. Maybe you should thank yourself. This is probably the best Mother's Day my mom will ever have. Me and... She can celebrate with my sister and her kids. My mom's in Ireland right now. Oh, yeah?

Yeah. Anything to get away from me on Mother's Day, I suppose. Oh, that's nice. Stuttering John not live streaming anymore. That's a big problem. Is that? I think Carl was telling me that he had an insurance policy that he was cashing in on that for no more Stuttering John.

He's not streaming anymore. Yeah, he's not streaming anymore. Well, he's got to get back to all that substitute teaching. He was knocking that out of the park. No agenda night says fake live streams. Fake live streams? That one got me driving into Vegas today. I got hooked on, I thought Patrick was live streaming for about an hour and a half. How do you keep falling for that? I really don't know. Every time I open up YouTube, I'm like, all right, Patrick's

been tricked every once in a while. I'm like, I clapped Patrick. What was he talking about? And then it says 24 seven stream. That means he's not live. And then he'll make a reference. And I'm like, wait a minute, that 9-11 didn't happen yesterday. What am I watching? I get so angry.

God damn it. Why is he yelling about President Biden? That guy's been out of the... Oh, okay. Let's see. Super Serbian says no one has gotten physically harmed in the Dabbleverse yet. I thought the problem was Super Serbian and I was like well this is some deep lore I don't know at all. I might have

mispasted that. That would be a big problem. Has there been? Nobody been physically harmed? No physical assaults? Chad got punched? Chad got punched? Yeah. What do you mean when he faked the uh... Yeah. The Kumia guys got him. Viral Architect says Chad Zumok. Is this the biggest problem in the Diabloverse?

And I asked this last year and I still don't know. What is Chad Zumok? You remember that? I got it right. Who is Chad Zumok? There's some guy... He's the mud shark, of course. That sounds way too racist, but he's a man. I was told Chad Zumach has really good t-shirts though, is that correct? Oh, well fuck that then. Is he here? I saw a guy in this terrifying morph suit with... Oh, he's too tall to be Chad.

Where is he, that guy? I don't think Chad's in the... I don't know, he might too tall to be Chad. Where is he, that guy? I don't think Chad's in the bill. I don't know, he might be in the building. I don't know why, but that makes me think of this lovely fridge that we have. Supposedly there's beverages in there. Is there? Yeah, that's what I was told.

Should we look in the fridge? There's drinks in the fridge. Yeah, we should look. We're the inaugural show. We're the first to raid the fridge. Let's see. If Chad Zumock comes out of that thing that would be fantastic. What is that? The freezer? There's nothing in it? What? No, there's stuff in it. One of the many things that are ruined by

the double verse is in the fridge. Several of them. Is Nick Ricada here? Ricada, where are you? Oh, he's off taking a powder. Well, he'll be. Let's hope he comes in at some point. I saw Nick was flying in on Thursday and I immediately started Googling, how long does alcohol last in a piss test? And is it Sunday? If I drink in the air, well, yeah, it'll come out of your system quicker because of the altitude. People don't know that. I also learned that Melton, Patrick Belton, you can't give birth. Is that right?

You just found out? Wow. What do you mean he can't give birth? He's unable to give birth to live young. I feel like I need more elaboration than that dumb smirk. I don't know. I was listening to one of your, this year's model retard. You roll out a new model retard every year, like Tesla or Toyota, and this year's model

was ranting about how you can't give birth. He was going to roll in the new new year or the new world. No, I don't know. This is mystifying to me. What is his name? He had a name like a chapstick. Carmex? Carmex?

Carmex. Carmex, I'm gonna bring in a new world for everybody. Just as soon as I get done with this half of the Crown Royal bottle. That guy that guy oh man that guy's great new model retired right coming right Patrick with his rolling around like the you know the Homer all right well it's our show so everybody's participating do, those are fan suggestions. We're going to be talking about some of our favorite Dabbleverse people and some of their problems

that I've noticed in them. And one problem I have, Dick, is I like TV. You like TV, right? Love it. Yeah, and everybody's got a couple favorite TV shows you're watching. You're like, ah, I'm watching New Walking Dead or whatever the hell, you know? And then you kind of move on.

Severance, like always good new stuff coming out. I can understand getting passionate about a TV show. Then there's guys who decide that that show is their entire personality. And let's listen to one of those gentlemen. I'm talking about specific episodes. My favorite and my band, the Isotopes, which is based on the baseball team and the Simpsons. So my band just recorded an album, it's a concept album, based on the poochy episode of the Simpsons. Wow! So there's a show called the Simpsons. I don't know if you've heard of this. So you're doing Carl's thing against Carl. I'm turning Carl's whole thing against him.

Look, The Simpsons, we've all seen it. Is there anybody who doesn't like The Simpsons? Like really? And I don't want like, oh, well, The New Simpsons, but we all know The New One's bad, but like The Old Simpsons, we all like it, right? Okay, so there's nothing to discuss. It's not an interesting character trait to go you know the interesting thing about me is really into those old Simpsons episodes yeah no

shit Carl everyone on earth is into old Simpsons episodes there will be a retirement home themed by the Simpsons that Carl is gonna end up in. Welcome to Springfield retirement castle will be a real thing, and it'll just be Carl and a bunch of retards sitting around going, oh, don't play season 12. Only seasons 10 through what? The grandkids are gonna come in, it's Carl riding on the board.

The Simpsons has been broadcast in... Hey, you're here to watch The Simpsons? 37 countries, okay? It's been dubbed in 30 different languages, including Arabic and Hindi. There's brown people watching this shit. In the early 1990s, average of over 20 million viewers per episode, there's nothing you as a regular person

have to say about The Simpsons that is interesting or creative or clever, especially not the fact that you are making a poochy concept album for your Simpsons- based band, The Isotopes. Imagine trying to explain that to a woman, which I guess Carl has interacted with on some point. So let's hear this. I just want to point out, because everyone had Simpsons t-shirts and stuff.

I had a ton of them. But this is how deep I go, guys. I get to the point where I'm not wearing any Simpson shirt unless it's like an ancillary character So I have like my sideshow Bob a t-shirt. I'm not wearing home Can you imagine being a Simpsons fan and you go I don't wear that Homer shit You're in a part, uh I'm all about Lionel Hutz, buddy I'm a Moses lackl- what the fuck?

How bad of a Simpsons nerd do you have to be that you feel like you're elevating yourself above the common unwashed Simpsons nerd? Like, Carl Simpson's love is pure snobbery. Hold on, but this is how it works with the women, is what I love. I had a girl tell me, I was in my 20s at this point. I had a girl tell me that I wasn't her type. She doesn't date guys who wear cartoons on their t-shirts. Hey I'm not some loser though. Do you hear that a lot Carl? Are the bumblebee man t-shirts not working out in the dating game? I don't understand it's all deep cuts. What do these women not get? I'm not doing the easy stuff here. Yeah, you got to find the right one. You were right. She's wrong.

Dude, like the only thing I want to hear from a guy like, you know, OK, I'll talk to a guy about The Simpsons. Like, yeah, like the Sims are like the old stuff. OK, it's when the guy they start getting into here. Who wants to be the... Every episode that focused on Lisa, that the plot was built around Lisa, were my least favorite episodes, because those are always the ones where everyone learns a lesson and there's heart,

and it's like, all right, let's get back to gags. Let's stick to the gags, guys. I hate Lisa, one fourth of the fucking show. You don't really like The Simpsons if you don't like Lisa, I'm going to say. What do you, you just want the donut? Ooh, donut, beer, duh. I wrote a weird song there a long time ago. If this is what goes a little too far, okay, I can understand being like, I don't like

Lisa. But then Carl has decided he doesn't like Lisa's voice actress because he doesn't like Lisa. I'm gonna go about that too. And I just realized I don't even like Yardley Smith, the woman who voices Lisa, because of the Lisa character. I actively dislike her and I think that's why you're fucking insane Is a nice sweet lady doing a fun cartoon voice you're like you fucking bitch You've ruined season 6 episode 8 with your fucking heart string pulling and shit What is this? Fuck Lisa fuck Lisa fuck youley Smith too, Lisa sucks.

Yeah, yeah, fuck Lisa. You need Lisa. Fuck Lisa. No, no, no. No, you don't need Lisa. Family Guy proved you don't need Lisa. Oh, you need Lisa to stand there upset as the family goes, you don't win Friends with Salad, okay?

The whole show doesn't work without that. I'll say this though. We all know that Carl's show, he loves his Simpsons drops, right? He's a big fan of dropping it in, letting you hear. It's like, why even watch The Simpsons? You can just listen to any episode of WATP and get half an episode. Boom! Hot take! So here's the crazy thing about Carl is that he's, I don't think he's even paying attention during shows sometimes. I think he's just thinking about man I can't wait to play more Simpsons clips like I think it's the only reason he does the show it's a

good show because watch watch this real quick I think they have to be the most dropped show in radio history I think I hear Homer on no matter what sports shows Comedy shows everything you hear Homer the boo from ONA. Yeah Okay, so we all we all saw what happened a Guy goes, you know like the boo, you know that they'll play problem in the entire dabble Simpsons, I want you to see Carl's TTS, Time to Simpsons. Have you talked to a therapist about this, Carl? Dude, like...

I'm like... I swear to God, it's like he has a set... Watch how quick... The guy doesn't finish mentioning the clip before Carl does a head snap to the left. Watch. I've slowed it down. The boo from ONA.

Yeah, yeah, maybe that's- He hasn't even finished saying what fucking clip it is. Watch. Watch. The boo from ONA. Bam. Yeah, yeah about it that's the worst part I could not I'm sorry like I every time I watch this I could not believe I'm like surely he waits for him to get the whole clip out look it is a This just flies in. So, look. It is a good clip. Look, I understand liking The Simpsons, but at a certain point it starts to affect the

quality of your broadcast when you then allow your friends to put all your relationships too. Yeah. Well, let's say- It creeps in. Your podcast personality creeps into your real life. It creeps into your life and then you start making bad decisions like letting your friend host a Simpsons trivia contest during dabble house now dick We all love Simpsons trivia, I guess

But here how should how should a trivia contest how should a Simpsons trivia contest work It should be like there's questions and, and you answer them, and you get points, right? Yeah, you get in a little group and talk to each other, and talk about the Simpsons. And they're easy, and they ramp up. Trucker Andy from the All Apologies podcast has put together a Simpsons trivia contest, and he's going to explain to us his fun, exciting format.

Let's hear it. So this is going to be a game show. We haven't done anything like this before but I've put a lot. Unlike other game shows we're gonna start with the lightning round Chris. Okay so get fucking ready. Now we've established that Zan and Chilly don't know so much about the Simpsons so their job is going to gauge whether or not Chris and Kaylee are accurate. Okay, does anyone know what the fuck that meant?

This is like how they do 21, like blackjack at casinos where it's legal. Like, you're the dealer now. You pass it around the house. I don't know, man. Okay, so Chris and Kaylee know about the Simpsons. So, Shuley and who, what's the other guy? Chris? Who's getting the hat? Anthony, sorry. Are there to confirm or deny the other two people answering the Simpsons questions? Doesn't do. Let's see what that would look like. This first round is name that character. Name that character. We're just gonna go back and forth and based on

Chris's confidence here. You can say I agree in this right you guys get it, right? You get a point you imagine watch a game show now and based on Chris's confidence a Different player will say whether or not they agree Okay, so this first one is gonna to be for Chris and Zed. He's lying. Oh, go ahead. Name this character, Chris. That's Lou. I agree. I agree.

I believe that. I think it's going to be a lot of it. It's like movie a trivia. Yeah. So he can't just answer Lou, the other guy has to go, I agree This is fantastic Good bad in the ugly, but Simpson's trivia It seems like Carl at least in the middle of this bit realized it made no fucking sense and tried to fix it Here he comes in. Can I point something out real quick? Sure. When you don't know the answer you pretend you do that's all point yeah oh that's

Billy and then you get the first thing oh I agree here but Carl is mistaken because he believes this is a Hollywood Squares type situation where you would go Gilbert Gottfried for the block and the Gilbert Gottfried might lie and you want to see a first date show like a dating show in exactly this format I just have to say guys helping you out okay nobody knows what's going on with that is the person you're trying to trick actually surely is the only person who understands he goes no cuz we're on the same team why would my teammate try to trick me what is the purpose of you

trying to trick is on your team well that's the way it should be like yeah play test no this was where you go let's cut the feed because we don't have a show and then you go hey you know how we have that archive of that thing we horribly bungled let's not put it on the YouTube channel okay here's where? Here's where you go, let's just do this tomorrow. For the game, I found some good apologies from the Simpsons and I think this is from season one where, well, let's just play the clip. This is the worst one. I tried to give you some of my favorites. you just click on the screen

does it When you hover on Bart does that not play? Bart let's move on And no points to all so much for the multimedia version of the game So these aren't playing Vinny because there's one... There's not like a play thing in the middle of the screen that's clickable. It's not playing. Interesting. Alright. Well, I don't think any of these are going to work.

How was your confidence level during this game? I'll give it a shot. Let's see. It's just spiraled down worse. Hit that button again and see. Oh, maybe it'll work this game. You know, it's just spiraled down worse. Hit that button again and see nothing. Maybe it'll work this time. Hold on. It's the Simpsons character's ass. Yeah.

That's me as a Simpson. Every one of the video ones says cannot play media. Interesting. Guys, in theory, this is going to be great. Point is, guys, Simpsons leads you to bad decisions, brings you down bad roads. And you end up hosting an event called Hacomania, where people rip on your very well-produced podcast

and your ability to expertly. We do love Carl. We love this guy. There we go. Is that your biggest problem in the download verse? That's one of my biggest problems. It's Carl's nonsense. Carl's fixation on the senses.

And we're just going to leave that up now for our next one. I love it though. You should murder me. Why didn't you just stop the game show and go, oh, none of it works. You got to play it till the end. The format is broken and none of the clips are playing. You know what, now let's pull it. Let's do it later. He has no answer.

Okay, I have a bigger problem. All right, what's the bigger problem? In the double race, let me get it. I'm very excited. Yeah. Get that cum. Get that cum. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Get that cum. Get that cum. Yeah.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. I hope I'm not spoiling it, that there was cum in there. It says Nick cum, and it is a- Nick's cum has ruined cum eating for me. Anybody else?

Now when my wife is giving me a blowjob, I see Erin with her hair. Oh no. And I think stop, stop. I don't know how this happened, but please stop. And then I nurse my sorrows on Twitter, and what do I see? Nick talking about his goo or his cum being eaten. I say, I gotta, there's no escape from this madness.

Please, please, you two fucking, I can't say the word. Someone say it for me or I lose my bank account. Thank you. Are giving me a fixation on cum eating that I never thought I would have. What about you? You're a weird fuck. Well, I've never discussed,

I was gonna say, you know, of all the men's cum in the world, the men's cum I've discussed the most would probably be nicks at this point. Other than my father's, but that's, you know, a long story. Now when I hear about eating cum, I think about men doing it and I didn't used to do that. I don't know how to unsuperchat things to get that back.

So, so, so Riketa had cum, and Aaron ate the cum? Yeah. Somehow, off of something. Off of something, is that true? And it's bad for somebody, and I don't know who anymore. Bad for April, you think? You don't think that was the best moment of her life? Because I kind of do. So after you eat a guy's comb, it's like pretty hard to talk shit about him, right?

I think it's like, you know, you suck and you're not a good braggas or whatever. And it's like, you ate my semen. I think you're part him. Oh, I think I lose this exchange, unfortunately. I think you're part him. Oh, I think I lose this exchange, unfortunately. I think you're part him forever. Yeah. I mean, that's why I liked when women do it, because I thought that I possessed their souls forever.

But now I don't like it anymore. So you're saying when... Hard drive, delete him. Thanks a lot, Nick. I'm just trying to wrap my head around this, so... So you're a guy who gets blowjobs. It's like an ad, like you see an ad enough times and you're like, Oh, maybe I do want to try like the Tostito at Taco Bell for a limited time. Are you saying you want to, you're thinking about eating cum? What is happening?

I'm not saying that. I'm just telling you how advertising works. Telling others obtrusive thoughts. Who made this? You made this? No, I made, no, I wish. Well, Nick made it, but who bottled it? That's the real question.

That's my problem. That's an excellent problem. Thank you. Well, that leads me into my problem, I think. Because we're talking about Nick Riketa. Is Nick here yet? He's here. Where?

Hey! Guys, let's give it up for Nick Riketa, man of the hour. We're very happy he was here to be with us. And Nick, we all know you got done dirty. You did a couple other people dirty, but you got done the dirtiest of all. Because let's be clear, you provided what every town at one point knew they wanted. You were the town drunk,

which used to be a valuable part of society. And now they try to arrest you for what? Well, I'm saying, back in the day, if you saw the local lawyer shit-faced on a stream and mysterious things on his face and stumbling around, you'd go, well, that's just Nicky Ricketts. He stumbles around town creating- Saying the death of the town drunk. The death of the town drunk?

Yeah. We loved that guy. It was an aspirational role. I think that's what Nick was going for. For everybody else. Yeah, let's be clear. Nick was doing a good job with the drinking. He's knocking it out of the park.

Yeah, he was the show way of Tony of drinking. Well, here it out of the park. I've met a lot of town drunks in my time. Well, here's the thing. You had a good style for a town drunk. A lot of town drunks, it's sloppy. But you were up there saying lawyer stuff and being like, ah, the fucking law. And then, I got to go to the bathroom real quick. Yeah, you got to go to the bathroom. Ah, I got to go to the bathroom. You know, it was fun. Well, I'd assume you were also drinking. Alright, well that's true. I assume you keep the good stuff in the bathroom with the coke. The coke drinks.

To wash the coke off. Something to watch, yeah, exactly. Look, the point is that I don't understand how this man was charged with a crime when all he did was again fulfill a vital role. Fulfill a vital role in the community. The community goes you need an example. You have like school teacher, caretaker, priest, politician, town inebriated drunk. You're right. Right. If you really cause a lot of trouble, okay, you get the stockade, we put him in there for a day,

throw some cocaine at his head, he'd probably like that. And then you let him go. Yeah. I think it would have been fun. Instead, they gotta bring the law into it, they gotta, oh, the judges are taking it all seriously. Oh, it's so horrible that you were having fun and drinking and

a little cocaine got on your kids. What are you going to do? Sometimes kids are running around. Yeah, it's bullshit. It's bullshit. It's bullshit. Kids got all sorts of shit in their hair. Who knows how it got in there? I don't know and I don't care because he's providing fun and a valuable thing to the community. Because we don't have a town drunk, we have to get more esoteric with our

freaks. Like the Michigan guy, the der, der, the New World evangelist. I'm just saying like I had a town drunk who was not nearly as good as Nick Rekader. Our town drunk would strip up all his clothes and crawl around on the street and block traffic. And that sucked. I mean it was funny the first time you're like this naked guy crawling around in traffic but then you're like well now I can't get by and they're blocking off the street but Nick all he does is he drinks he was a great drunk he was a great drunk we could all agree on that right the point is if anybody wants to slip anything in Riketa's drink tonight it might be funny and we could get the old Riketa back.

All right, be a good trick. Not on his parole officer though. They'll probably not enjoy that joke as much as we did. To his face like Andy Kaufman. Got some pixie dust, catch him off guard. All right, what else you got for me, Dick? Okay, I've got over analysis is one of my, I love, I could watch, I'm hooked on the toe As I know everybody here is we're all toe addicts, right? We all love the toe man Hooked on the toe and I love the never-ending analysis And you know Patrick Melton just loves zooming in on men's faces and going over there Every every little piece of them and breaking down the way his hair is parted,

because he's gone to his hair cutter person and stuff like that. But I saw a clip today where Mooby, Mooby, where are you at? Here. Mooby? Moody, Moody, I'm sorry. I always get you guys,

I'm sorry about that, I always get you guys mixed up I saw Moody look you were looking at the the new the new Canadian royal guy and you described him Aaron Imhold had him on just to freak out and go into a rage you know go into a fit of rage and start screen cutting a promo and the guy just wouldn't do it. Like, M. Holt was like, okay, so, you know, when you're on, what can I say to really get you pissed off? And the guy's like, well, nothing really.

I'm pretty much, you know, everybody's kind of a good guy. Melton's like, you know, I get where he's coming from. And you paused it and you said, he's like, he's coming from and you paused it you said he's like he's like quantum mechanics he said Melton's like quantum mechanics no he said that new what is his name again karmic X is like quantum mechanics he's when you observe him right different than a different state. It's either the cat's either dead in the box. Yeah, and for a second I went, whoa. And then I realized I was on like a bunch of Benadryl.

I'm like, oh, that's retarded. He's just like a choke artist. He's not, this isn't, Moody, this isn't quantum mechanics. This is just, this guy just totally sucks. And he can't cut a promo. It was like, you saw, did you guys see that episode? Yeah, when he's like, Aaron M. Holtz got him on and he's poking him with his stick

and he's like, come on, do something. Do something. He's like, I don't know, I'm just like, you know, I'm just here, you know, no. And then Aaron turns the stick on himself and he's like, you know, I'm just here, you know, no. And then Aaron turns the stick on himself and he's like, do something, do something. And then they'll pause and Moody will have like,

he'll have like a soliloquy. He'll have like a whole presentation on why this is like a- A soliloquy of course. Yeah, see, you know, yeah. Okay, so this brings me all the way back to Beowulf. And this is why, and it's that, and that's when I hear that, because I'm like, I totally get what you're saying.

And then I realize I have a sickness. This has gone too far. Now we're in the quantum realm and I don't want to be here anymore. But I love it, I love it. I loved your PowerPoint on the deepest, darkest blacks of Aaron Hymhold's autofocus. Yeah.

That was, did you make that just for that? I used an actual algorithm. Like that was pretty awesome. Oh, it's worse than I thought. I don't know, it makes the bullying more justified somehow because I'm like, oh, we're fucked too. Shit. Okay, we're allowed to do this then.

Fuck Aaron Imholz even more. Yeah, I really love that, but it's a big problem. Like you're like the kind of guy that calculates batting averages. You know, like the guy will be on his way to first, and you're like, kind of guy that does like, like calculates batting averages. You know, like the guy will be on his way to first. You're like, well, if he hits first base, his batting average is like 0.238. And if he doesn't hit first, I'm like, man, you're enhancing my experience,

but like not in a good way. Hey, what's that baseball thing? Sabre, Sabre metrics or whatever. What the fucking the money ball guy, money ball. That's what he's money balling. You're money ball? The fucking the moneyball guy. Moneyball, that's what it is. Yeah, he's moneyballing the area. You're moneyballing. You're moneyballing Aaron Imholz.

I love it. You're bullying with statistics, yeah. I think the problem is the moneyball guy made money doing moneyball stuff, and well, you're providing us with valuable comedy, I guess. You're making money, though. Thank you so much for that input. Thank you. I love it. That's my problem. That's a good problem. Over analysis of Moopy. Well speaking of dabble verse people and dabble verse adjacent

people, I've been watching a lot of my favorite guy and I love this guy I wake up every morning with him his name is Opie Hughes love the opster killing it packs all his buddies in a bar so they can talk over each other with terrible acoustics who doesn't love that well it's been weird though because he's so he's so jealous right now Opie is of Anthony Kumia and he's trying to hide. Oh man we're all jealous of Anthony Kumia right now. That's my problem. I could have said the end word the whole time! My problem is I identify with Opie. We're all a little jealous of Kumia at this point because how the fuck is he back on terrestrial radio? We've been broadcasters, right? In some respect, we're on YouTube.

There's certain things we're not supposed to say. We have to worry about advertisers. Mike get upset. And then he checked Kumey's Twitter, and he's like, hey, you see what the blacks are doing? You're like, oh, my god. Well, he could say that because he'll never be back on the radio.

And now he's back on the radio! It feels like we could have said anything, and he just got it, what is going on? How could you not be jealous of that? But I think he's also jealous himself, because we had that situation recently with that Shiloh lady on that playground. Oh yeah.

Who made a million dollars for calling a little kid the N-word? Wow. Little pickpocket. Yeah. No, hold on. He was autistic, supposedly. Whatever the fuck that means, every kid's autistic.

Somalian. It just feels like, you know, we spent all this time on YouTube and all these like platforms being like, all right, we gotta watch what we say, because it's not monetizable to say horrible racist things. And then a lady goes, hey, look at that little kid over there. He's kind of like, ah, let's give her a million dollars. And you're like, what the fucking shit is this? Wait, what's your problem?

I don't know. Oh. I guess the problem is I'm just normally racist, and I'm not getting paid for it in the way other people are. And that feels unfair. My racism is very natural and very fun. Oh, I get it. So you're Opie? Yeah, I'm Opie in this situation.

Oh, okay. I get it. I get it. Is that I identify with Opie and I'm looking at Kumi and I'm going, if only I had just followed the path. I'm really committed. How's he doing? Opie, what's he doing?

Drinking. He's just drinking? Yeah, I would be too. He's got a purple mouth and he doesn't like when you bring it up. He has a purple mouth? He's wine drunk, we believe. Oh, he's drinking wine? Oh, that's dirty. He wakes up, he goes, my mouth is normally purple, I'm opie. And you're like, I don't think that's correct, opester. I gotta go pick up some envelopes. You gotta watch Karmic X. I gotta go pick up some ad-lopes. You gotta watch Karmic X.

I gotta watch what? Karmic X. What is Karmic X? The guy I'm talking about, he's like, aw, aw, aw, aw. Nicest guy in the world when you get him on the show, but when he's... Yeah, when he's not drunk, he sucks. All I know is, I identify... Opie's a guy who, let's be clear, was never very funny or talented in any way.

So I guess he can't really be upset that he lost everything. It's kind of his fault. But at any point, you're watching his show and you're going like, well, maybe you could try or something. Maybe then you wouldn't be so disappointed. I guess the worst part is he's jealous of doing absolutely nothing. I can understand if you're running real hard on the track and another kid's faster than you, you could be like, ah, I'm so jealous of that other kid who's faster than me.

But if you're just sitting there eating Cheetos and another guy's running real fast, you're like, ah, that's bullshit. So, Opie, you have to run or something. You're not doing anything. You wake up, you get in front of the camera, and you go, it's another day with Opie Yeah, he's not even a freak you saying no

He goes to the bar and then him and his buddies just talk over each other and don't understand that the super chats I'm saying them are farcical. Yeah, Opie seems to think I'm actually his big fan You know, I have that max cool account. Oh, I know all about your max cool account. Yes Do you have that Max Cool account? Oh, I know all about your Max Cool account, yes. So during OP shows, I will send encouraging messages where I go, it's OP Nation, baby. You're fucked. And him and his buddies.

You send him that shit? You pretend to like him? I think I'm the only thing keeping him going. Because he's got like 15 people watching, and then he puts it up. He goes, it is Opie Nation. And him and his buddy, Carl didn't even know it was me. Carl did a thing where it was Opie doing a victory lap

with his buddies and Gebhards because I said it's Opie Nation. And Carl just said, well, this Max Cool guy likes him. That's so fucked up and cool. Because I want him to do something. I feel like I'm with a little push in the right direction. If he feels like he has Max Cool in his corner, maybe he'll try. But you're not in his corner. I know, but...

You're making fun of him. I know. But in a way, like it's still like when he gets, well that's the thing is I go in there to troll him and then he gets all excited and then I'm like, well I don't know, maybe, okay. I guess if he's happy about it, now I kind of do want to encourage him. It turned into me wanting to troll him

to now I'm like, yeah, get him, Opster, you can do it. Yeah. Yeah. Are you a fan of him at all? No, it's terrible. I just keep hoping he'll do something like remotely funny and I can be like I kind of helped him push him in that direction. I watched him sit in his car and complained about his wife being inside a Costco. So you do watch him? Yeah.

Are you a fan? No. He's just on. You hate watching him? It's like I following him on YouTube and it'll be like Opie's live and I'm like oh man maybe it'll be like really exciting this time and then he's in his car he's like my'm following him on YouTube and it'll be like, Opie's live. And I'm like, oh man, maybe it'll be like really exciting this time. And then he's in his car and he's like, my wife's in the Costco. So I thought I'd live stream. And you're there going, yeah, awesome. Great to see you again.

And I go, it's Opie Nation. He goes, it is Opie Nation. And I don't know why, it's like three times he's like reacted positively to that. Well yeah, cause no one else is there. I know. I don't, because no one else is there. I know. I don't think he has anybody else. Are you are you part of like a suicide prevention?

I'm going to start making other characters to encourage Opie, is what I think is going to happen. So you're going to be catfishing Opie. That's your 2025 plan. I need multiple accounts to go in. And you think Carl's fucked up with the Simpsons stuff. I just think this will help Opie get over his depression of the fact that he will never be back on the radio because he doesn't know how to do it.

And Anthony just- Yeah, you are a really bad enabler. That's what you're doing. I'm absolutely niggling him. No, enabling. Oh, I thought I was- That's- I heard niggle. What's the end game?

Oh, the end game. Maybe we become friends and I- And then what? You're not real friends. Maybe I can hang out in his cool New York apartment that, you know, looks over the stuff and he can tell me all about he used to be friends with Patrice O'Neil or something. Oh man, that's fucked up. I guess I just, as a guy who's also jealous of Anthony Kumey, I guess I feel a strange relationship with Opie that I want to expand on.

I really wish Dr. Steve was here for this. To analyze this mental breakdown I've been having. Well, I hope it works. I hope you guys become friends or whatever that you call it. It's not often that I get to like, you know, encourage a sad millionaire. You know? I don't know many millionaires sitting in their New York penthouses pretending

that it's not all over for them. Yeah. It's like if you could like drop in on, you know, fucking what's the guy who owns Amazon and be like, yeah, that bitch who left you, fuck her. You know, that'd be cool. What bitch? The guy, what's the Amazon guy?

Bezos. Yeah, Bezos. And his wife left him. Well, she went to space. Right. She came back. But like, if he had a live stream talking about what a bitch she was, you could go, yeah, I agree. You know, he'd probably do that.

There's something interesting there. OK, that brings me to my biggest problem in the Devilverse. He was kicked off of Hackamania 3 this week. He was kicked off Hackamania 3? Yeah, did that stick? Did you get kicked off? Oh, me? Yes.

Yeah, I'm absolutely banned from this forever. Thank you. You got kicked off too much? I'm the first person banned from Hackamania. This is Vito's last appearance at Hackamania Hackamania I had a needle in my jaw While you were texting me about Boston

The doctor goes, is there a problem in your pocket? No, it's just my crazy co-host who won't stop texting me I mean it's show related. I have to text you to get the show figured out. You took over an Aaron Imhold livestream?

Did that happen last week? I've been kind of out of it, but did you jump on with Melton? Oh, yeah, I said hi to Melton on his show. I dropped in. How was that? I thought it was all right. It was all right. And you thought? I thought it was all right. It was all right. And you thought, I like what Aaron's getting.

I'm going to get some of that for myself. I think I'm just trying to put on a great show, and I'm very excited to be here. And I'm fucking everything up, and that's fine. Well, I thought this was great. My problem was veto, but tongue in cheek. Oh, well, thank you. I don't know. Carl, do you have a biggest problem in the dab, tongue-in-cheek. Oh, well thank you.

I don't know. Carl, do you have a biggest problem in the dabble verse? Anybody else? Yeah, yeah, come on up. Come on and give a response if you have some calm. Oh no. No, keep the applause going until he gets up here. That's very disrespectful. Keep the applause going until he gets up here. That's very disrespectful. Here, you have a chair. Come on over. Oh, thanks for having me, guys.

Welcome, Carl. My first time on the show in a couple of years now, so very exciting. How you doing? Well, I'm doing great. I just want to point out Vito put a lot of work into his presentation about me. I was invited on a show called Why Are You Laughing?

That was about The Simpsons. My job was to talk about The Simpsons on the show. And Vito goes, can you believe this asshole talking about The Simpsons all the time? It was the assignment. Yeah, but they asked you. I understand it was the assignment, but yeah, they did immediately go to you.

Yeah, you got me buddy. Why do you think that was? You got me good with that one. He's got notes. All right, I have a biggest problem with the dabble verse. This little thing known as a cry bully. A cry bully. You guys familiar with what a cry bully is? A person who self-righteously harasses or intimidates others while playing the victim. Oh my god. Who would do such a thing? Who would do such a thing? Who would say something

like I want to rape your girlfriend? Right. And then cry when that person reacts and say oh well I guess I just won't do the show anymore. And now it's my problem and Dick's problem and Patrick Melton's problem. This is what cry-bullies do. They cause their own problems in life, and then they're the victims, and it's our job to pick up the pieces. Yeah, it is.

It's a lot of work, too. Yeah, it's a lot of work, too, yeah. There's a lot of pieces. Yeah. Yeah. I wasn't even going through a medical emergency and I was going with this not sense. You know any other cry bullies you can think of any other any other cry. Can you think of any examples anyone deal with the cry? Bullying their life in the devil verse

you think of a guy who causes own problems and actually honoring John perhaps a great example. Great example, Stuttering John, perhaps? That's a great example. Great example. Stuttering John Melendez is definitely a cry-bully. He causes all of his own problems and then cries about it like, how could this happen to me? What did I ever do? Can you think of any other examples?

Chad Zumock. Chad Zumock. Great example of a cry-bully. Chad Zumock's the guy who goes viciously in the paint and then goes geez I don't know why everyone's mad at me all I did is say I wanted to ass a April Imolt I don't get it why is everyone angry with me about this what's going on? Did he say that? Did he say he would rape? He said he was going to do that before the year was over that was a couple years ago I don't think it happened oh okay yeah Chad doesn't know he's coming through Chad said he was going to do essays on April

Yeah, he did it before you did asshole. You stole Chad's two nights' bids When I did it, it was pretty funny, I'm going to say So uh, vote it up. Cry-Bully, the biggest problem in the Dabbleverse I don't think you should vote that up. I don't think that's correct at all Carl, wait, can you stay on the stage for our last one? Yeah, of course buddy Are we doing the last problem you think? I think so. You guys ready for I'm not gonna correct it all. Carl, wait, can you stay on the stage for our last one? Yeah, of course, buddy. Are we doing the last problem, you think?

I think so. You guys ready for, remember how I said it would take a two show to a seven, at least? Now it's feeling very two, right? Yeah, unfortunately a lot of my time was spent assembling clips of one of my favorite people. Now it's ramping up to a seven. And, uh.

You can feel it. Yeah, again, I've just been assembling so much, because there's so much to get to. You guys might remember this song to lead us in. So, as far as... ["It's Another Win For The Toe"] It's another win for the toe. Guys, Aaron Emholdt.

We love him. We love him, don't we? And why do we love him? Because he can't stop winning. My problem is guys, who can't stop winning? They drive me fucking. That was my first thought when I went deaf, was like fuck, that's another win for the towel.

It's another win for the towel! Fuck! You can't beat this guy, because he's got you out foxed at every moment! He's the Boston Celtics of podcasters. Anyone following the series? Okay, nevermind. Let's put it this way.

I was recently watching some Aaron Imholt clips and I learned that his wedding ring that he gave to April, she kept it. And then for some reason, Nick Ricada has it. Now, Nick, is that true? Do you have, is Nick still here? Nick, don't give a shit. Oh, Nick, do you still have Aaron

Ephold's wedding ring? Well, who'd she get? What's the lawyer term for that? Evasive. Okay, so Nick is saying it's attached to a piece of evidence. Well my understanding would be that if you spend a lot of money on an expensive piece of jewelry and the guy who's cum you ate gets the jewelry. Now after this weekend I can't hear any more about the comedy I would not call that a win but I've learned from Aaron that I'm an idiot let's find out and then she didn't which I thought was an

awesome move by her you shouldn't keep that ring I'd sell it that's the biggest fuck you to me you're pissed at me you sell that ring fuck you to me. You're pissed at me. You sell that ring. Fuck you. I'm taking the money. But instead, Nick couldn't part with it. So he kept my wedding ring, dude, eternally in cockatoo much. Holy shit. Nick's going to melt down the ring and turn it into a ball. the ring and turn it into a Baldo. The Chimps have spoken. How did you get so owned? You can hear that laughter from him. He's completely destroyed you somehow. I don't complete- I can't completely wrap my head around it. He goes on to explain a little more about this. Oh my God. You know like the Sonichu medallion is cursed?

Maybe my wedding ring is like the Lord of the Rings ring. That's why he's slowly transforming into Gollum. People thought it was the cocaine, then the Adderall, and the nitrous huffing and all that shit. What if it's my ring that's slowly driving him insane, well, quickly driving him insane. Oh God, they can't make, he can't make one insult. It's just always halfway through and then edit, edit, edit.

Hold on one second. Sorry, drives me insane. Let's hear how he comments on, I don't even know if I understand this. Yeah. I didn't know I was such a wanted gal. I didn't know I was such a wanted gal. I didn't know I was such a wanted gal. I've learned so much about winning from this guy, it's crazy.

I always thought my life was trash, but I learned just everything is great. I started going through his Twitter to learn a little more about how I can be a big winner. I like how he kicks it off with a good Lord of the Rings reference. Yeah. That's what I need. I wanted to learn how to be a big winner like this guy. Now, you would think your wife leaving you, it's sad. You don't have someone to cook you delicious home cooked meals.

But as we're going to see from Aaron, that's not a problem, because you can just nail. Look at this. That looks like a perfect lasagna right there. How did he pull that out? Now, he says it's not the best lighting. He is a modest guy, but that is a meal for a king. And he doesn't stop there.

He posted that as a brag. Look at this. No wire. I made a little white chicken chili for everyone tonight. Another win for the toe, I would say. Now, normally I say, you know, you're gonna use your outside smoker to smoke meats, but you know you can put a frozen pizza in there?

That's a W that cannot be measured up to, and how does he make these excellent meals with all these spices? He can afford spices? I know. And he's bragging about his Target brand chili powder there. Not since Marco Polo was trading with the East have I seen so many spices.

And yo, but what if you overspiced it, Aaron? That, of course, would be an L. If you used too much spice, well, not for the toe. Who says, no, the recipe was a bit basil heavy. Basil heavy. It was not a bad first attempt. Everything this guy does is gold. What are you gay? Is that the first comment? And he has to reply to it. He has

to reply to every single one. Me and you, we walk by a bunch of dirty golf balls. We don't think twice about it, but the toe sees opportunity. 10 bucks at a garage sale for a bucket of balls, gloves, and tees? Time to use a pickle scrub or soap and water to see which ones are solid. Awesome Saturday. He is owning this room right now. We're destroyed.

Carl, I don't think you understand, he's laid this out for you, how you can beat him. Do you know this? Ah. He wants you to know that you're a puppet. This is horrible what he's saying. Let's hear it. Hulkemasha Baby says, I never got how people haven't figured that out. You only respond when they talk about you, so just ignore you and you have no power. Right? I've been saying it since the radio days. We were sm-

I mean Patrick Melton's like, oh I'm gonna talk about steel-toe. Motherfucker, we've been smoking people way worse than you for a decade. You're just the latest victim. You're the latest scalp on the wall. You, your Mahmoud Mohammed, your Karl, all those guys. Light work, dude. Light work. Melton, your scalp on the wall. That's horrifying. He just can't stand. Hold on, can you pause it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love this because he thinks everyone is as dumb as he is. That's one of the great things about Aaron. He goes, you know how you beat me? Stop making fun of me. If you stop making fun of me, I lose immediately. We're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, we're not that dumb. We're not going to fall for that. He's making a very coherent point. He's going, you know, you guys keep saying I'm a cuck.

That's just a big W for me. Do you know how many people come to my page and leave a comment calling me a cuck? That's publicity, idiots. As he'll say, cut off the supply drives us nuts. They can't do it. That's what I'm saying. I have gotten so good at this that they cannot resist. They know what the victory is. They know to let it go. I mean just the I believe right there. I love that he has this strategy he knows this strategy he has talked about hackamania every day for the last no car every day brings up this event right here and he's like you know you win you just don't bring it up oh yeah sounds like another L for the toe I do want looking better he's looking kind of good

there isn't he I don't know he's like third season Ray Romano here, isn't he? She's just back from his haircut person. Everybody loves cucks. I mean, he's got an opinion on this event, Hackamania. He's been talking about it, you are right. Nick Buster says, I told you what our guy reported, Napamania is going to be even more cringe than expected.

Now, did he call it Mapamania or Napamania? Like sleeping or pedophiles? I thought it was Napamania, which would be better, but if it's Mapamania, heia like sleeping or pedophiles which would be better but if it's mappa mania he's calling his old pedophiles pretty fucked up seems kind of off-brand it seems our friend yeah I'm gonna hope it's I like that his neck like texture and his shirt texture is the same if they were the same color did they really don't have anything I I mean and then Melton yesterday's like we don't have anything huh and I looked at it I go. Nope he pause it. You still don't. This little piggy coming up right after this

show. We'll find out how little we have to report about this asshole. I've heard there's a lot to talk about. I begin dips drabs, and I can't believe what I'm hearing already. I've heard there's a lot to talk about Amazing what is it about him? That's just so He he is in this narrow band where he doesn't quite spin out his life force is punchable You know some people's faces are punchable It feels like he's been cursed and he's like serving a penance where he has to podcast 100,000 hours to get out of like this hell. You know, cause he never does, he doesn't seem to care.

He does it by the book. It's always four hours a day. He's like, okay, that's four hours. Just like 32,000 more of that and then he can die. Time to make the donuts. Such a weird feeling. Hold on, hold on. You two are fucking nuts.

Are you listening to this guy? Aaron Imhold is stacking W's by the second. This man cannot stop winning. He's cooking his own meals. He's mixing his own drinks.

He's got ten people super chatting. We're here at Napa-mania doing nothing. All I gotta say is, you know what, I don't have to say anything. I'm gonna let the man speak for himself. Oh! 🎵 Music 🎵 Amazing he even fucked this up. 🎵 Music 🎵 Oh hey I didn't see you there! Oh my god!

Hey! Hi Hackamania! How you guys do it? Go ahead. No. I'll let you finish. Yeah! Yeah! The king! You know, I have to say, if anyone else would have asked me to be here, I wouldn't have

done it. But it turns out that Vito and I are both part of the same file sharing group and he threatened to expose me so here I am I hope you guys are having a great time I bet you I'm the last guy you expected to see I mean what an event you guys are in Las Vegas pretending that you go outside often. I love it. Who's all out there? I think Patrick's gotta be there right Patrick. No, you know, I brought a gift. I Brought a gift for everybody there and I brought a gift for Patrick Melton Would you guys like to see the gift that I brought for? Yeah, let's do it. I brought family pictures that nobody has seen before today What are you doing?

I have not watched this video, I don't know what he has I like it dude, I literally have no idea But I wanted it to be a surprise I told him to cut a funny wrestling promo, this could go horribly wrong I have family photos You know what, let's just take a look at them The first one I have is of Patrick Melton's wife. The love of his life.

You know, a lot of people call Patrick terrible names. Morbidly obese, dead before 50, pedophile. Oh my God. I'm not saying they're untrue. I'm just saying people say that. But there's another side to Patrick. And that other side is his family. And it starts with his beautiful-

I can't believe this is happening. Put the picture up there of Patrick's wife, please. There she is. Patrick and that other side is his family and it starts with this There she is oh Goo-goo gaga indeed why the fuck would this be your opener? This is like a wrestling event where you're the main heel and you come in and show a picture of the organizers wife as a baby Everyone was a baby. I think you're missing the joke What's what he's saying is that Patrick is such a PDF file? Oh, that's his wife now current current situate I think that's what he's saying. I think that Jesus Christ Am I wrong? I think that was the joke. right? Oh yeah, because that's a present picture. That's a present picture.

Oh my god! Another win for the toe. You got me. That was a great joke that no one got. So you're a pedophile. Yeah, good stuff. Maybe I should have watched this before. I like that he goes, people call you terrible names like dead before 50.

I've never heard anyone call Patrick dead before. I mean, it's just an F description. Hold on! I thought he was 50. My understanding of Aaron is that he will make this into a W somehow. He's still got time. Yeah, back that up a little bit. I think we missed him gloating over his pedophile joke.

I want to see his victory laugh. I always enjoy that. Okay, so proud of himself. This is the first job. I don't want to keep her up there for too long. Everybody's got a right to privacy. Who's the baby? Plus I have more. Let's take a look at this one. Shall we? I have a never before seen photo of Patrick Melton and his father. That's right. Patrick Melton and his dad. Would you guys like to see it? Yeah, okay. Let's see where this goes. Put it up there. Patrick Melton and his dad together. Oh, look at how happy he looks. He's a little sheepish boy staring up at his dad. His dad looks pretty disappointed but you would too if you raised a 400 pound closeted homosexual. Look, the

point, we're not here to make fun of people. Wait, that was a homosexual? I thought he married a female baby. I'm lost in what Patrick is up to. There's a lot of mixed metaphors. The wind is coming, okay? We're here to celebrate. After all, hackamania is a celebration. For God's sake, Carl Eberger is there! Carl's here! There he is! Hey! I am so glad he's there. And you know, Carl, always a professional in fine form. Carl doing what he does best, watching other people be funny. Not now. You gotta be fair.

Wait, can't wait for that to happen. Not currently. You gotta be fair, there's nobody better. There's nobody better. Dick Masterson is there. Wait, what? Was it? I didn't tell him it was you.

What about all your Simpson stuff? I really don't have anything against Dick. I have to say, we've never really, we've DM'd once. We haven't really spoken much. I did want to congratulate him. Dick Masterson, a baby and a wedding. Congratulations to Dick. Yeah, baby and a wedding. That's good.

Dick, of course, married to an 80s girl. Oh, God. Which if you take away the zero is Patrick Melton's favorite age for a partner. It's ridiculous. I think it's not about me. Guest of honor at this event and that is my old friend, but I like to refer to us as tunnel buddies. Nick Rick.

For Nick Rick, my brother in cuckatoo. You know, everybody thinks that Nick and I hate each other. We don't. It's all a show. In fact, I feel so stupid. There was a gift bag that Nick asked me to send to him to Las Vegas. He asked me to ship it to Las Vegas. He didn't want to bring it with him through the airport. I thought I'd show you

the gift. I'm really sorry. I don't know why he wanted these things, but I just they've been sitting right here. The first one is a bottle of NyQuil. I'm not really sure why anyone would do. I don't know. Next one? Nick maybe has a dirty laptop or something there because it's a multi-purpose dust Like I said You're on vacation. You don't really need to be on your computer. But then again, how are you gonna angrily tweet it? Kurt at 3 in the morning I and he asked me for and I quote a jar of clean piss I don't know why he would um what is that that doesn't look like it's his Velveeta joke clean that would have been but sorry buddy

I apologize. I would have got that stuff to you. I hope it doesn't put you in a bind. I'm sure Most of that stuff you can find on the strip. There is one thing I cannot send to Nick There's one thing that I'm pretty sure if I sent it to Nick, I'd be in a whole lot of trouble. It's just once it's not ready yet. Hold on. Let me just really sorry about that. That's a that's a lot. That's a separate that. Yeah. Take a lot of time with this cocaine joke. It's going to kill. Let's see if we can show it there. That's a there you go.

We knew what you were you go Pussy lines, um, I'm not I don't want to bust you up. I don't want to get you in any trouble. So He's winning don't you understand you I'm also I'm really sorry Nick. I got that from your daughter's stash. I hope that- Oh, did Stoney's approve of this? I hope that doesn't. Look, I didn't- She's out of probation.

See, now I feel like, now I feel like I'm out of- Nick says she's out of probation. I feel like nobody wants me there. You know what? I know when I've worn out my welcome. You guys are there to party. You're there to talk shit about me. Thank you, Aaron.

It's no fun to talk shit about me when I'm sitting right here. I just want to say to the audience, all 14 of you that are there at Hackamania, I know a lot of you see me as the devil. I know a lot of you see me as the bad guy. And I know that I felt a lot of animosity and I've, I've poked at you and I've prodded at you as well, and it's it's not very nice Pretty shit pretty you know there's there's enough Meanness here to start a small war so I just want to leave By saying this and I mean it from the bottom of my heart I Hope every single one of you there this weekend gets AIDS mixed with cancer and dies Why is itito selling this so hard?

This opportunity, Hackamania, have a great rest of your weekend. Why are you selling that obvious joke? You knew he was winding up for that. You're like, whoa, this guy's hilarious. He can't stop with the W's. I've watched his breakdown. All right, Hackamania 3 and Veto Free everybody. Looking forward to it. Thanks guys for coming. Make any response to the Nick is gay Chiron.

Or the Nick, whatever that is. Someday you all will understand the genius of a man who ate cum and emerged on top. I can't wait to hear his co-host next week. After Carmichael's hear his co-host next week. After Carmichael. New biggest problem co-host. Auditions will be held in Dick's basement. Guys, it's the biggest problem in the universe. Yeah, what was the biggest problem?

Also known as the test show to make sure everyone else's audio works correctly. Was I right, Seven? Oh, thank you. Seven show? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Seven show. Thank you. Thank you guys for coming. I want to thank Carl for coming up on the stage.

I want to thank Nick Krakatov. And of course we want to thank the great Aaron Imholt for another big W on the board. I really can't believe you got that. For really fucking up my... I thought he was going to cut like a fun three minute promo. Why? He sucks. He sent me a seven minute flash file

that I couldn't launch. I was trying to edit it and I'm like, fuck it, I don't have time, I just have to play it during the show. This is exactly what he would do. Yeah, I know. This was, he got me. In a way, he won over me. Cause he said, just don't even watch it,

it's so funny, you're gonna be blown out. And I'm like, okay. Wow, someone got over over Vito. I'm eternally owned. Shot owned. Another win for the toe. Guys enjoy Hackamania! Don't forget to dip your bartender. This little piggy is next. Miss little piggy coming up. And have yourself a Merry Little Christmas. If you know booty, we don't have a scale. But I have some Mother's Milks in my car if anybody wants one. Thanks for watching!