The Bill Bert Podcast - The Bill Bert Podcast | Episode 49 w. Joe DeRosa PART TWO

Episode Date: February 24, 2021

Bill and Bert prattle with Joe DeRosa about 70's babes, culture, and hell gigs. Produced by @All Things Comedy and Andrew Themeles (@themeles) Subscribe! http://bit.ly/SubscribeToATC

I know that's pretty wild huh yeah yeah there's a lot of uh I'm not envious of that Joe that aspect of you uh being out there being single trying to do the math especially you know when there was the old math and then they came in they're like yeah remember all those numbers yeah they don't add up to what you thought now here's the new math and the test starts right now and if you fail it your dreams are over dude my favorite one of my favorite ever dennis miller jokes he goes uh he goes i'm happy for caitlyn jenner i am she's a woman but can i take the fucking weekend you just told me blackjack is 22 oh yeah so funny um yeah i don't know man i'm i'm i've i've uh slowed down in my old age and i'm uh i'm ready to i i would love to i would love to settle down but

it's just unfortunate i don't know joe you're squirming i still think you got a little fight left in you i know i don't see you going in the boat you're still flipping around you know i'd really like i really like to meet somebody i got to get out i got to get out there put me in the program i just don't want to go anywhere cold jo Give me some advice, Joe, when you settle down. I finally got it figured out. Okay. Yeah. All you got to do once a week, dude. Just once a week, you go out and just do something with them.

All right? And it's going to be their idea, and just go do it. And I'm telling you, they have the best time, and they're just in the best mood. And they start getting sick of you again, you know? You just take them out again. So what's... Go look at a house you can't afford. Okay.

They can just go around looking at that shit. Go fucking take them out to lunch. All that dumb shit. Hey, wait, does it count if your new house is getting broken into and you drive over there at 2 in the morning? Is that one of the things? We've been doing that a lot lately? That's fine.

Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean, somebody broke into your house. Oh yeah. They, they try and then the alarm goes off and they run away and there's nothing to

steal, but we have to drive over there and turn the alarm off and meet the cops. And it's happening. Like it's crazy. You should have a big sound. Like when the alarm goes off, there should just be something. There's nothing to steal. It's crazy. You should have a big sound like when the alarm goes off. There should just be something. There's nothing to steal. There's nothing to steal.

There's nothing to steal. There's $100 in an envelope under the brick. Just leave. Do not set off the alarm. I do not want to wake up. When do you move, Bert? I heard you already moved, but I guess you haven't moved because you're in the room I was in, I think, when I visited you.

Yeah, this is my man cave. I'm still in my house. I'm'm never gonna actually uh live in this house it looks like I uh I feel like I feel like I leave in April to do something and they're supposed to move in in April so nice what part can you say what part of town it's in don't say that don't say that okay okay don't say that it's not far it's not far should just leave little fucking m&ms right up to your front steps i said i said to my daughters not the 99 joe it's that one percent they're the ones that show up it is true it is true did you see susan's that guy break into susan summer's house It is true.

It is true. Did you see Susan's, that guy break into Susan Summers' house? Suzanne Summers? That's it. That's it. Oh, okay. Yeah. No, no, whatever.

She's doing a live stream, like a makeup tutorial, and a fucking home intruder comes in. And he's a crazy person. He's like, hey. And she's like, hi, who are you? And he's like, I was just sitting around the thing. And all of a sudden, you're watching her do the mask. She's like, hang on. How did you get in here?

He's like, oh, I just walked up the thing. She goes, but you're watching her do the math she's like hang on how did you get in here he's like oh i just walked up the thing she goes but you had to jump over a fence he's like anyway i'm just a real big fan and he starts talking to her and they realize he's a fucking psychopath that has broken into their house and it's like oh fuck and they're like you need to you need to leave and he's like no i'm gonna leave and she's like can someone please it's all on camera it was fucking holy shit well i gotta google that what so you can read the comments of everybody going fake meh dude you know what i would have done yeah yeah oh god um that's wild though jesus that's crazy is he a young guy joe he sounded he sounded young he sounded young i'm trying to pull back on my social media because i feel like i've shared too much and i feel like i'm too out there and so i'm just trying to like pump the brakes you know bird i think you should

i think you should reboot the thigh master i think i think you were the next you are the next face. I'd do it in a heartbeat. I know you would. Dude, if you send me product, I can't help but pay it forward and go, you got good product, I'm putting it online. I'm putting it on Instagram. Dude, I've been watching Three's Company reruns, and Jesus Christ. It is like, if you were like, dude, you can, you can, you can have

sex with any pool of women in history ever. Who would they be? I'd be like the three's company cast that every it's the hottest women I've ever seen ever all in one place on one show. It's insane. I used to love Janet. Everybody was into Suzanne. Some of Janet was smoking.

Oh my God, Janet. I hear into Suzanne Summon. Janet was smoking. Oh, my God, Janet. I hear you. I'm a Janet man myself. How about Terry? I like Janet. I'm going to marry Tyler Moore. I like Rhoda. Oh, yeah.

Rhoda and that one who just died, Phyllis. Oh, yes. They were smoking hot. Yeah, they were. They were in apartments apartments and shit you know floral patterns like your pillows joe they were they were ladies of the world yeah betty white was on there they were all banging that was that was like they were all like you know they were all like boozy broads that was they were a fun bunch it was a good time it was a good time back then

yep yeah what tv show do you think defined the women you looked for growing up like going like oh because i when you say that i go oh suzanne summers i looked for blonde kind of goofy big tits like that was that was my that was my my swing zone dumb as a brick no brick doesn't challenge me on any level. Just walking to and from the fridge, getting me a beer, falling face first into my lap, you know? That's what I got out of Three's Company. I'm Bert Kreischer.

I'll be in a private theater near you. I'll come if you got him. You know what, Bert? You really are a trucker that just decided to do stand-up that's what the fuck you are I'll tell you you know I'll tell you what the best hooters is I'll tell you I 35 north uh dude I've I've been asked that question before bird i have an answer the two girls from weird science that they not the model not um yeah not kelly lebrock not kelly lebrock she was gorgeous obviously but no the two girls that they actually fall in love with the brunette and the blonde that to me was a dream girl when i was a kid i remember that was the

first time i saw a girl in a movie and i was like oh my god like i want a girlfriend i barely remember them yeah she was hot you know what's hot was the uh peewee herman's girlfriend oh piazadora oh my god no it's not piazadora it looks like piazadora though but it's that's not piazadora i know that's not who it is though but yeah all right i gotta look up the weird science and then i want to show you guys something just you know for perspective this is what a seven looks like according to the internet that is a seven that's i cannot i could never that's way out of my league the brunette from weird science is still um i think she does pilates and yoga now she's still like smoking she's like 54 or something oh you know i like a smoking hot 50 something oh who you madonna was smoking until uh whoa that's the girl from

weird science yeah dude she's still just i've talked about her on the bonfire i keep praying to god she hears me talking about her and it's like i think you're cute it's never gonna happen but dude you know who i looked up the girl from uh from ferris bueller's day off she still looks great he still looks great yeah still looks great. He still looks great. Still looks great. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. That, like, scrunchie-to-the-side haircut with the leg warmers on the outside of the pants. Oh, Jesus. God. I'm showing my age here because that was, like, even though I was, like, a high school age in the 80s,

I was more into the 70s chicks. Let's talk about them. All right. Farrah Fawcett on the six million dollar man obviously charlie's angels janet from three's company already mentioned her you know what angel i liked bill was scarecrow and mrs king which one was that which angel became scarecrow mrs king i never watched that show uh which of the angels she was the short brunette hair short paired brunette angel

Kate Jackson on the rookies when she was Mike Danko's wife she was a nurse he was a cop she just was fucking gorgeous I always thought she was the best looking one to be honest with you she's hot dude

I was never into the k jacksons or janice i was always blonde and then i married her we got it yeah you kind of described it to a t there bird about five minutes ago no i went through the blonde phase but i think i always like brunettes better i like brunettes better were you attracted to any black chicks growing up bill were you attracted to any black chicks growing up bill like on television well there weren't any i like janet jackson when she was on um on uh different strokes wasn't she gorgeous janet jackson was on good time but she on good time she was just a little kid but when she was on she played willis's uh uh girlfriend i think she's a couple years older than me so don't fucking make me out to be a creep here you know who the one was uh the older

sister on good times oh she was shit but here's the thing dude i liked everybody from marcia brady to janet jackson i was all over the road, Joe. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I like it all. Did you know that during that Super Bowl fiasco, I just read this, that Janet Jackson lost everything, but it was Justin Timberlake that did it. He didn't get in any trouble. What do you mean by she lost everything?

Like she couldn't sell out the Staples Center anymore? No one would put her on tour. No one trusted her. And she lost everything like she couldn't sell out the staples center anymore he wouldn't they wouldn't no one would put her on tour no one trusted her and she lost her record deal she got pulled off of all radio stations are you serious yeah i lost her record deal over that if i'm not mistaken i just read this thing and jenna jackson was they were saying you know jenna jackson has forgiven justin but that she was the one that lost everything. They pulled her off all terrestrial radio. Maybe, maybe, I'm not saying. Let me ask you this. What?

Because that was clearly planned. Andrew, Andrew, find something about that. That was clearly planned. It came off like perfectly. So here's my question. Let's say the stunt went the other way, right? And she grabbed a part of Justin's wardrobe, and one of his balls came dangling out during the Super Bowl.

So much more talking. Does Justin, as a privileged white male, does he lose his tour? Well, that's the thing. There's all this press right now about Timberlake lost nothing but Britney Spears lost it and it's like Britney Spears didn't lose anything they're talking about like when they broke up and they're saying like Britney Spears lost everything like Britney Spears is at a hard time because her dad put her into terrible legal situations it's got nothing to do with Justin Timberlake no what they, what they're criticizing Justin Timberlake on,

and here's the thing is I figure that as a comic, I'm sure I made jokes about Britney, so I'm just as bad as everyone, but what they're criticizing him in is that he'd go in and do radio shows, and they'd be like, did you hit that shit? Did you hit it? And he was like, yeah, you know I hit it.

She's not a virgin. Oh, okay. I didn't know that. He was toxic in that end. They break up, and I'm sure it wasn't just – But I thought that happened after because he made a video like she cheated on him, and then I think he was like a jilted lover and probably said some shit. I think – and I'm not – I don't know who broke up with who or any of that shit,

but he did – when the breakup happened, I think his marketing team was like, let's spin this this way. Because remember, Justin Timberlake was not famous. I mean, he was famous, but he was not who he is today. They needed to make him into a star. And so, Cry Me a River was his. Yeah, I don't fucking buy that, dude. I got to tell you what's weird, Mark.

You don't make somebody be as talented as that guy. Maybe he got with the right people. But there were 12 other boy band guys just like Justin. But you know what's weird, Bert? It's weird. It's almost like all the women that wildly supported Justin Timberlake and made him famous are to blame for not supporting Janet and Britney. But it's his fault.

Bingo. You know, it's his's his do you buy into that shit i was like it's the fans that make the part like i don't feel like i made acdc famous i feel like acdc made music i couldn't ignore me and all of my friends it's like i'm not gonna take what they did no i agree with you on that when i'm when i'm just making a joke about like the the way that this is being portrayed right now and i do think there's some validity to him doing some fucked up shit but my point is just they're talking as if toxic white males are the fan base of justin timberlake and it, no, women are the fan of Justin. That's his fan base. Women were packing the arenas to see Justin Timberlake, not dudes.

Just out of curiosity, why are they talking about this now? I have no idea. There's a documentary about Britney Spears that just came out about her conservatorship and about just how bad she had it. About her what? How bad she had it and the marketing of her what did you

say she had a conservatorship conservatory conservatorship yeah some legal what is that what is that basically what you do you it's what the court does to a crazy person is they say you have a lot of money but we can't trust you to spend it you're gonna you're gonna buy fucking rabbits and gazelles and giraffes, and you're not going to do it wisely. So we're going to give someone, we're going to put two people in charge, like a group of people in charge of your money, and they will tell you what you can spend, what you can also do,

because you don't have access to your funds. So, like, you can't just go to Hawaii and get a private jet. You've got to run it by her dad and a banker, I think. Oh, God. It really is kind of fucked up. That's why you don't get shit-faced and shave your head in front of the paparazzi. Let's not act like this just fell out of the sky here, people. Well, even that is up for debate when they talk about that

because they're like, who made her crazy? I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. This is just like, I swear to God, they're like who who made her crazy i'm out i'm out i'm out this is just like i swear to god they're gonna go back into history and anything that a woman did they're gonna make a guy's fault every fucking thing it's like there's just no is it's like is it ever hey i got a little caught up in my own fame hey maybe i was drinking too much hey maybe i surrounded myself with the wrong people it's just like come on man what drives me with uh janet jackson lost after yeah all right so uh didn't she also agree to have her titty come out on the fucking super bowl i mean you gotta that's the part i don't understand network television it's like it's like they're both

guilty but now it's becoming like also too nobody's cursing janet nobody's going well janet i guess your career just kept cruising as your brother michael's crumbled and it's like i don't understand what the connection that's not a good comparison joe because this is like an incident that happened and one person there was nothing that happened to them and the other like i mean what did she lose i don't know i'm just i'm just i just don't get why justin can't take your titty out on nbc okay well people know this but i knew that before then i think it was one of those things well let's do something shocking it'll help both our ticket sales and it blew up in their face and it was almost like he

was the getaway driver and she went in to rub the pink. He fucking took off in the car. What did she lose? As far as rehearsals go, that was never done, him ripping that off. So that story sticks that she didn't know that it was going to happen unless they talked about it. But it says that the Grammys were the following week, which both Timberlake and Jackson were scheduled to present and perform at. But Jackson was outright banned from the event, despite previous assurances from the Academy that both would attend, saying there's such a big difference to putting a stage on AstroTurf than an appearance at the Grammy. Clear Channel Communications, which owned Infinity Broadcasting and Viacom, MTV and CBS, blacklisted all of Jackson's singles, music videos, banning her from all of the TV channels, radio stations, the company owned, that the company owned, stifling Airplay and making her new album, Demita Joe, her lowest selling album since 1984 the disgraced singer was forced to resign from the movie deal she had just signed and even a statue of mickey mouse wearing jackson's rhythm

nation costume was dismantled following the continued uh backlash an attempt to break the uh heat of the constant bashing jackson went on SNL mocking the entire situation. That sounds like the classic overreaction. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, I agree with the take of maybe Timberlake should have took up for her or whatever. He absolutely should have. Yeah, I agree with that. He absolutely should have.

But I don't buy that it was an accident. It came off in a perfect circle. And she does the... No, I don't buy that that it was an accident it came out in a perfect circle and she does the no i don't i don't buy that either i think he should have been like that i would think he should have come for television i don't know what annoys me is yeah i agree that he should have gotten her back but what annoys me with the britney thing is like the same press that was following her literally from location to location as she was collapsing in public i remember that being there were blow by blow where britney is right now every 15 minutes on la radio i remember that like hearing that when i was in la and then she eventually shaves her head and she has a nervous breakdown and it's like the fucking press that caused all that are now going to sit

there and try to kick the dirt over their own sins and go well poor britney you know this way and it's like you guys did it yeah they did that with monica lewinsky yeah it's like he kept he goes they go like well bill clinton kept allowed you know kept being president and she was blah blah blah it's like no no no she hosted snl a gig that took me 28 years of slinging jokes to get she sucks one fucking dick and gets on the goddamn show man i'm supposed to sit there and look at you like you're a victim he sucked a dick when i first moved to la i was doing a tv show called the x show and i was living in a house up in the hills and i come home from work one day i'm in my room i had a fridge in my room that

had beer in there and and because i didn't want to go out i didn't know anyone so i didn't want to go out to and walk back and forth to get beers all night and then be like look at this guy go yeah yeah hide it hide it in the drawer so i'm sitting in my room i may be in been in la like three weeks two weeks and fucking monica lewinsky walks in my room like the i mean really see a fucking great white shark swim past you i'm like uh and she was like hey i'm monica and i was like do i know who you are he's like i'm here with matt i was wondering we do I know who you are? He's like, I'm here with Matt. I was wondering, we were wondering if you had any beer in here.

And I was like, okay, all right. I was like, what the fuck? And he just walked out. I was like, wait, where are you going? I want to talk. Holy shit. Crazy. Wild.

Yeah. That's fucking wild. I would act like I didn't know. I'd feel bad for her. I still feel bad for her. But like just sitting there acting like, you know, she just got flushed. It's like, no, man. Like you hosted SNL. I mean, it's bad for her. I still feel bad for her, but just sitting there acting like she just got flushed. It's like, no, man. You hosted SNL.

It's a dream gig. It's a dream gig for every comedian out there. Oh, it's a good gig. You booed by all of us. I wonder if you think in 10, 15 years they're going to look back at a couple of these Me Too cases? You know, the bad date ones i keep being like did we should we have treated that person like harvey weinstein or whatever they absolutely i do bill i keep saying i was saying it the other day about gina carrara or whatever her name is it's like

look you can say that her tweet was stupid or clumsy or whatever but the reaction to it to me was so crazy that i was like, guys, this is going to be a thing that you look back on. And the example for that is everybody said George W. Bush was the devil. If you in any way supported him or liked him or whatever, you were the devil. There was something wrong with you.

You were a racist. You were this, you were that, that fucking guy is on the talk show circuit. Now he goes on Kimmel and he kicks back and he gets applause breaks and everybody goes ah he's kind of cute remember how dumb he was whatever and they're going to be doing that with half of these canceled people and going shit man sorry about that sorry about the last date it's like a guy in jail for marijuana sales right now in la you know i just saw peewee herman on the wheel of fortune yeah that's what i'm saying they ruined peewee dude and he was jerking off where you're supposed to jerk off what was he offending those other fucking people jerking off

those local cops those local cops saw a big score that's what they saw no no there it was one closeted police chief he's like these guys are getting away watching gay porn and jerking off we're not allowed to do this we're busting them every friday night dude i thought he was going to get out of it because he went on the mtv music awards right after it and had a great opening line he came out he's like hey and everybody was going nuts applauding him yeah he was like heard any good jokes lately and everybody died laughing and i was and i was psyched i'm like he's back he's back and then no it was it remember dice i didn't even like pee of uh i have uh you know unless you did some truly

horrible shit i mean you know if you hurt someone if you hurt someone um i don't have time for you but if we're talking about words uh like even even bad words i'm like come on man i mean no no no i wouldn't say that no if you like if you're just saying overtly racist shit, you make a bad comparison. If you come off like Joe trying to find where Atlanta is compared to New York, that's not homophobic. That's just ignorant. What did Carano say?

She said that she goes, in 1940s Germany, I'm paraphrasing, but she said in 1940s Germany. Which is always a good thing to do on something like this, Joe. By all means, let's hear your take on the tweet. I don't have the quote in front of me. But she basically compared political beliefs now being persecuted to the fact that in 1940s Germany, the way the Nazis were so able to take power and do whatever they wanted was because they brainwashed citizens into picking on their Jewish neighbors and eventually attacking their Jewish neighbors. And she said, how is that any different from attacking people for their political beliefs? I get what she was trying to say. Obviously, any comparison to anything with the Holocaust is very it's a shoddy comparison.

You're going to piss people off. It's a dumb thing to do. I'm not disagreeing with any of that. But here's what bothered me. The grounds for her being fired based on that opinion was that she was somehow reducing the plight of Jewish people during World War II. Okay, I get that. I understand that perspective. However, how is it any different from all the people on the left when Trump got nominated or elected and they said,

he's like Hitler? How is that any different? That's the same reduction of circumstance, but on one side of that coin, it's okay to say. And on the other, it won't even be entertained for a second. That's interesting, Joe. That's an interesting. Joe DeRosa was an interesting take. Look at you. I was judging you with your bedspreads there.

And all of a sudden, Joe comes in. Bill, I've had a lot of time to think, you know. What you're saying, Joe, is she should have have compared it to slavery and it would have been better i just don't get i just don't all i'm saying is whether you agree disagree whatever it's i just don't get this place that we're in where there's no room for discussion about anything and and even because there's too many channels, Joe. Too many channels. And then you got to like do sensational shit. I don't know what the fuck it is.

I mean, I'm on that fucking show. Now I got to watch what the fuck I say. Yeah, I know. I'm just... Yeah, I'm a fan of that show. We all get... What show is she on? What show is she on?

The Mandalorian. The Star Wars, yeah. Fuck. Yeah. They canceled her action figure. show we all everybody what's so we see on the mandalorian the star wars yeah yeah they canceled her action figure that's how deep cancel culture is they canceled her action figure it's like let the action figure come out i mean i don't understand did she ever pony up to you bill i'm like bill i got a few ideas i think that you know what no she was an absolute sweetheart yeah super nice fucking person and you know whatever and somehow someone will take this video and they'll fucking make me say something else and you know try to get rid of my bald action figure an action figure yeah do you have an action figure no uh

no you fucking nerds oh if you get one dude I'm buying it I might I don't know I have no idea that season was awesome man that second season was killer holy shit nothing no honestly I can't like

how it is out there it's fucking crazy time they just like people just waiting just laying in the weeds it really is man you think there is a group of people like a type of person out there reading the trades and then going ah joe de rosa signs a six-figure deal all right let's deep dig him find out what he did wrong, and that's how I spend my day.

Let's show that he's human and he's made a mistake in his past, and let's take that dream away. I don't know how it works. Absolutely. There are people doing that. Bert, I think it's even farther than that. I think there are people that are watching who's about to break, and just like they preemptively buy dot com names right so they can

sell them back to the famous person because they know oh they're gonna buy this probably and need it and then i can make a couple bucks i guarantee you there's people lying in wait like that and just saying hmm this guy's star is starting to rise a little bit you know let me let me just dig a few things up there's it's got to be i mean it's the shit comes out so fucking fast it's crazy it is kind of crazy i think it really speaks for having like flying under the radar and just making a living and just going like i don't need to be will ferrell i can just be this guy either that or put all your shit out there so bad that you're like yeah i'm an alcoholic and everyone's like all right he's gonna kill himself we'll we'll we'll

let him do his thing yeah how about you just be an individual and you continue to buy tickets to people that you want to go see yeah and just sort of just sort of fucking because that that's one of the things that's weird to me is a few people that have like they go to go back out on tour and then like um you know they're gonna sell out and people want to go see him and then the people who don't want to see him don't even want to let the people that still want to see him or her see him then it just becomes like uh yeah i'm sitting there it's a uh See him. Then it just becomes like, yeah, I'm sitting there. It's a.

I don't. My thing about that is how do you how do you hold up you judging somebody that harshly? About because I'm not talking about like the hardcore shit, like sexual assault and rape and stuff. I'm not talking about that. I'm just talking about because now it's becoming like, hey, an ignorant comparison there goes your dream right right i'm like i'm you know i look at that it's like who the fuck stands up to that i mean dude it's a great question and and the brutal part of it is every once in a while you compliment my way i appreciate it bill it's a pleasure to have you on the show today thank you the big fan joe i'm a big fan of you no but i mean it's the the problem the problem isn't the

the first part of that the problem is is is it's not just go buy tickets who you want to go see of course obviously the problem is is they go into the yelp reviews of the venues and they try to get the venue shut down. Can we just talk about something else? Who gives a fuck, Joe? Let's talk about taste buds. Jesus Christ, we're sitting here talking about Britney Spears and fucking Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake

shit from 20 years ago. All right, it's Thompson Cigars. Let me tell you how great this fucking company is, Bill. I am doing all my shopping on Thompson Cigars. The new top cigar of the year was i forget the name of it i just went on tompkins cigars bought a box of them i love this company i know you know what's funny i actually texted birth the other day said dude when we podcasting again i miss talking to you and you said i'm smoking a stick right now i go

that's funny i was smoking a cigar when I texted you that so this is the perfect advertiser for our our little show here all right whether you're working from home or just kicking back after a week of being essential there's no better way to relax than with a premium cigar and Thompson Cigar Company has the deals and selections that keep you occupied for hours on end with over a century in the business, these guys really know their stuff. They've got the best prices on the biggest brands in the business, from Macanudo to Monte Cristo. They have the largest selection of samplers online,

with the option to build your own every day in Thompson's 5-pack fever program, including over 300 different 5-pack options to mix and match. I mean, if you can't find the right one, I don't know. There's no pleasing you. This is from Thompson's right here. And this is from Thompson's. I got turned on to Oliva's because of Thompson's. Oh, those are delicious.

These are great. Absolutely delicious. All right, looking to try new, rare, top-rated blends but don't want to splurge on boxes? Check out Thompson's Cigar Tour, a smattering of five different blends delivered to your doorstep each month. looking to try new rare top rated blends but don't want to splurge on boxes check out thompson cigar tour a smattering of five different blends delivered to your doorstep each month they also say i fucking love that sorry they also send out insane cigar deals via email with personalized email preferences preference options so you can sign up to receive them all or just the days you

feel like reading emails thompson cigar company continues to be the number one choice for premium cigars in the USA because they deliver the very best customer experience. So sit back and take a break from all the craziness with the cigar from Thompson Cigar Company. These guys rarely do offers, but now Thompson is offering our listeners 15% off over $75 or 20% off over $99. To take advantage of these incredible savings, simply go to ThompsonCigar.com and use the promo code BillBurt when you're ready to check out. That website is Thompson, T-H-O-M-P-S-O-N, cigar.com,

and use the promo code BillBurt, B-E-R-T. Perfect. cigar.com and use the promo code bill burt b-e-r-t perfect the best way to prevent hair loss is to do something about it while you still have some options god damn it i started losing my hair when i was 22 years old and i did something about it back then you had to go to a you had to go to a doctor's office wait a long line go to a. You had to tell nine people you were losing your hair. It was so embarrassing. And by the way, I'm shocked I even did it. Well, 4hims.com is one-stop shopping for hair loss, skincare, and sexual wellness, all for men. Here's what's great about this company. This company was created by a guy who knew that the majority of men would rather have a conversation about their health or hair loss or skin care or sexual wellness online than in person. These are real FDA approved products to treat hair loss.

4HIMS is helping guys be their best versions of themselves with licensed medical professionals. No snake oil pills or gas station remedies. Prescription solutions based, backed by science. 4HIMS connects you with licensed medical professionals online which would save you hours completely confidential and discreet answer a few quick questions medical professionals going to review and they'll determine if it's right for you and if they can prescribe you the medication to treat air loss it's going to be shipped directly and discreetly to your door today hymns is giving you their best offer yet. If you're not happy with the results after 90 days,

HIMS will give you a full refund. And right now, our listeners can get their first visit absolutely for free. Just go to 4hims.com slash Bill Burtt. That's 4hims.com slash Bill Burtt. Disclaimer, prescription products require an online consultation with a healthcare provider who will determine if a prescription is appropriate. Restrictions apply. See website for full details and important safety information.

Remember, that's 4hims.com slash Bill Burt. You did that perfect. Yeah. All right. Lastly, but not leastly, Stitch Fix, everybody. You know, online shopping can be daunting. You never know if things will fit, returns are difficult, and you don't even know what store to start with.

This season, let Stitch Fix do all the hard work. if things will fit, returns are difficult, and you don't even know what store to start with. This season, let Stitch Fix do all the hard work. As the days get longer and the weather gets colder, it may be time to take a look at your winter wardrobe. If you want to make a change this season, Stitch Fix can help you choose new pieces you'll love if you if your go-to outfit in 2020 has become sweatshirts and yoga pants you may be feeling like your style's in a rut let stitch fix help you feel excited about what you're wearing did you just look over your current cold weather wardrobe options and get a chill it's time to ditch that old sweater and upgrade that jacket a stitch fix personal stylist can help you pick new pieces that are timeless. Stitch Fix offers clothing hand selected by experts for your unique size, style,

and budget. Every piece is chosen for your fit and your life and it's the easy solution to finding what makes you look your best and feel your best. Try on pieces at home before you buy. Keep through your favorites and send back the rest stitch fix has free shopping easy returns and exchanges and a prepaid return envelope is included there's no subscription required try stitch fix once or set up automatic deliveries you'll pay just twenty dollars a twenty dollar styling fee for each box which gets credited towards pieces you keep and there are no hitting fees ever. Stitch Fix has styles and clothing to fit any occasion for women, men, and kids.

They ship all over the U.S. and available in the United Kingdom as well. Get started today at stitchfix.com slash Bill Burt. That's what I'm guessing because I don't have it here. Andrew, is it Bill Burt? That's it. Yes, that's what it says. Sorry, it says Bill Burt? That's it. Yes, that's what it says. Sorry. Yeah, it says Bill Burt. Sorry. Oh, it says view entire message. Oh, it got cut off in the end. Sorry. And you get 25% off everything. Yeah, I got it. All right. Get started today at

stitchfix.com slash Bill Burt. You get 25% off when you're keeping everything in your fix. That's stitchfix.com slash billbert for 25% off when you're keeping everything in your fix. Stitchfix.com slash billbert. Russia is the world's largest country. Drag and drop it near the equator, and you'll see how truly huge Africa is. Russia, at 6.6 million square miles, hails in comparison to Africa,

which is 11.73 million square miles. Okay. Africa is almost twice the size of Russia. Yeah, I know, but for a country, that's impressive that it can be half the size of a continent. Yeah, it's interesting to me that that russia in in the in the corner like it goes like this is russia st petersburg moscow but it goes all the way over here there we go it goes from lithuania to fucking alaska look it goes around it goes around china so right through this little pass if you see look at the i'm turning africa on its side it's kind of looking like it fits in there so my crazy map this map

this map stinks no the light blue or my dumb uh well it's special uh the light blue is what the way the map perceives it and then the dark blue is the actual size so Africa actually is big and the others are actually smaller also the dark the dark is is oh I get it because it's at the top of the globe which is smaller but I thought the world was flat man oh I get it oh it's not even close. Oh, I see it. Wait, what are you saying? What's the difference in the color? I missed it. Sorry. Because of where they are on the globe, Joe. Okay.

Like there's a reason when you go to Europe, they don't fly straight across. They fly up and over because it's shorter. Oh, I see. So it looks like it's stretching. It's an illusion, Joe. I mean, this is a great map for a flat earther to look at yeah it is it's a good one do you know there's a group of people out there that want to go to the if you notice like whatever's on the equator is sort of actual size and then further north you get it gets smaller look how fucking small canada is did you watch that documentary about the flat earther that was building the rock i heard he was using him though he was yeah he was using their money i'm gonna prove it oh no

yeah he said it was a stunt but the the documentary is really it's just really funny because this fucking lunatic is just building these he taught himself rocket science literally and he's just in his backyard like all right here we go i'm just taking off in these rockets he's building from like parts to collect i came into the fucking balls that that takes lack of brains do you know there's a group of people trying to get money to charter a boat because they're going to go down to antarctica these are flat earthers they're going to go down there and look at the the the ice wall they believe there's a giant wall of ice i i supported 100 just so they shut the up let them go give them the money let them go bring i want them to go and i want to see see the way bert wants to see people's orgasms faces i want to see the there oh my god there

is no ice wall and i'm freezing my ass off here and i just paid eight grand a head the ice wall to go down here yeah uh yeah i would like to see that um what does that mean can you like peek over the ice wall and then just fall off the earth yeah the white walkers are over there the what the white walkers what are the White Walkers are over there. The what? The White Walkers. What are the White Walkers? Is that something else? Game of Thrones. Game of Thrones.

Yeah. So the wall in the north. What is the... I never even knew they thought there was an ice wall there. What do they think that is? I don't understand. Ice wall conspiracy. Antarctica. Like a cliff?

Here we go. And it's just down in antarctica flat earthers cruise will sail to antarctica ice wall oh this is march 22nd 1999 are they still going uh we're waiting for y2k i think they were rowing out there the journey will take place in 2020 oh and yet another thing because of COVID. That's what they think the world looks like, like a coaster. But they think you'll stand on that ice wall and see outer space, basically. I like the one where there's like earth underneath it, and you can hold the earth like a snow cone

and like yeah different flavors in antarctica yeah yeah i hear you i hear you i like when it's on like a turtle's back that's wild man jesus it's just it's so wild it would be cool if it was true it would be cool if it was true I mean sure it'd be you know but it's just insane like people have sailed around the world and stuff I've flown around and I granted I didn't have a compass they could have been doubling back I just do big turns Bill I'd like to think I would have noticed i would have seen my drink going like this right the centrifugal force makes it stay level um we're back all the pilots are in on it

i want to see that's why they all drink like denzel in that movie okay this is sitting on that giant i want to see them sail off sail off from their starting point right and disappear into the horizon as they're like well we'll be back we're gonna get pictures of the ice wall and then a month later they come back from the other side we haven't hit it yet they just did a phone why don't you just get like a telescope just get a telescope you're looking watch your boat disappear over the horizon why don't you just do that get a fucking telescope and watch your boat disappear over the horizon there it is yeah wait wait wait i can see pluto with this thing but i can't see this boat go to the fucking ice wall.

I can't get over Joe's picture of what he's saying. So they take off on the boat, and Joe's standing on the shore, waving, waving, waving. All of a sudden, he feels a tap on his shoulder. He goes, hey, you're back. Yeah. They're looking in the wrong direction, and then they turn around. They go, Joe, what are you doing here?

I go, what? We just sailed straight. Yeah, you're right back. The Earth is round. That wouldn't be enough. How did you doing here? I go, what? We just sailed straight. Yeah, you're right back. The earth is round. That wouldn't be enough. How did you get here so fast? Joe, what are you doing at the ice wall? This isn't the ice wall.

This is where we started. You went in a circle. We're doing loops again. Wow. Oh, shit, boys. we're doing loops again wow oh shit boys um so we gotta I gotta

I gotta go it's a pandemic where you going I got a meeting at 6 go ahead though I wanna tell you two things my favorite Joe DeRosa story Bill my favorite Joe DeRosa story, Bill. My favorite Joe DeRosa story.

So I've never met Joe, and we're working at comics. I thought of it because of the Patrice documentary. We're working at comics, and I show up, and Joe's like, oh, I'm going on stage. We're working with Jessica Curzon, and I don't really talk to her backstage. Joe goes on stage he brings her on and joe and it was a light show not a lot of people joe does okay he doesn't murder but i'm thinking okay it's gonna be a little work just tonight comes off he's got a cocktail in his hand sits down jessica goes on stage and he goes you ever seen jessica

work and i said no and he goes oh you got a long weekend thunder thunder oh that's funny jessica yeah jessica goes on stage like you're like god damn it man that's the two people i never want to follow at the cellar are kirsten and greer greer's the other one where you're just like impossible i mean that guy's so fucking good i'll have anxiety also by the time he's done they're they're in love with him it goes past the jokes yeah there's the audible groan that you hear when you go on stage after him like uh i have to look at this now god yeah yeah greer was oh that was those i've had i've had some brutal sets especially the old days when the seller was the seller back in the day before the seller became famous so i guess the seller itself is famous cellar back in the day before the cellar became famous so i guess the cellar itself

is famous now but back in the day when it was just something that tourists just stumbled into and nyu kids knew about it you know it was like it was a lot different vibe there and who was who was the guy you hated aside from greer who was the guy both for both of you who was the guy you hated aside from Greer? Who was the guy for both of you? Who was the guy in your respective clubs that you just hated when you were still really in the trenches every Friday? Hated going after, you mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's what I mean, going after.

When you got to do that 1 a.m. set and it's just like you need the 80 bucks or whatever it is and you you know you're just not in a position to say no well grier was the best was actually a legit good comic and then there was other ones who were just like you do that late show at the comic strip and they get a couple you know some couple people who all they did was the late show at the comic strip you'd have to go on after that shit. That wasn't even killing as much. It was just taking the crowd just so far. All you had was 11 minutes or whatever to try to get them back to just where you would have started if it wasn't so fucking crazy.

The comic strip, I don't know, it was weird. so fucking crazy. The comic strip, I don't know, it was weird. Like 8 at 9 o'clock and stuff, they had all these joke writers that were wearing sweaters and shit and barely cursed. And then by the time the late show came on, it was like fucking, you had to go up there with the whip

and a chair. That's where Steve Byrne, Steve Byrne got stitches. They threw that fucking chair at him. It was a completely different club. Yeah. And I used to work it because I used to live right around the corner. I lived on the Upper East Side.

So I would do that late show because that would be my final show of the night. And I would fucking go in there. And every time I would come walking out muttering like, I'm just, you don't need that extra 50 bucks. Just fucking go home and in a good mood. that extra 50 bucks just fucking go home and in a good mood i started doing the late show at danger fields which was just a completely different um yeah every late show it's it's rookie mistake bill and you'll laugh at this i remember i was always getting the late show at the strip and then you know uh i guess i had done my first half hour or something i really thought like i was coming into my own and they gave me late spots

again. And I wrote back and I go, I need to respectfully decline these late sets. I feel that they do not provide an environment for me to do what I am able to do as a comedian. And I would like you to put me on earlier with respect. And they were just like, take care of yourself. That was it. That was it. I never worked there again. And I, cause I just didn't know. I't know i was like in my head it made perfect sense you know yeah no that was

one of those yeah you you thought that there was people working late night because they wanted to yeah those shit show acts that you had to go on after back then and those they they didn't even want to be doing that they wanted to be going on like eight or nine and they would tailor their act like you said they tailored an act for it it was like they had this is your late night 12 minutes yeah you eventually just had to give in give into it and it was so it just it was just all ethnic you know can you imagine if a jewish guy opened a deli with a Puerto Rican? I think it would be loud and would sound like these accents. Puerto Rican goes down on a woman, but he brings some

rice and beans. It was fucking horrible. And the crowd ate it up. And then you go up there with your fucking bullshit. Your thoughts. Oh, God. it up this and then you go off there with your bullshit your thoughts oh god it was very very specific but you know santa claus comes to my neighborhood but he's a different kind of santa claus that comes to that white neighborhood you're like oh god i'm not gonna be able to follow this santa claus spin on his santa head is he gonna fucking pull out a glock and you're gonna go up there with

your white shit like hey so my dad was wacky yeah oh boy i wish i just had the self-esteem to walk out i can't go on after this shit i can't it's it's like it's this is like a vegas show up there you know who uh well, wait, Berg, sorry. No, no, I was saying this is very specific. But you know who was really hard to fucking follow? Especially, like, he would get, I mean, always, but he'd get these pockets on weekends where you were like, fuck, fuck that was DC Benny.

Dude, I watched him make that room shake. And you're just like, but if it was a bad crowd and DC went on, he could change the energy and turn them into a good crowd. But if it was a good crowd and he went on, there was no following him. Yeah, DC at the Boston, that was a tough one. Real tough. Because he just stood there and he kind of g know giggled to himself and looked looked off in the distance and it's actually a good DC impression right now he's like uh hey this is my impression of an Italian eye doctor what you looking at all

right all right here we go fucking yeah you ever see the one dollar guy and all of a sudden everyone was like I know the fucking one dollar guy. God. Yeah. No, yeah. It was a slow build, but you knew where it was going. And it was just the inevitable crushing. And he was gorgeous. Yes. I don't miss those days, dude. I miss the hangs after.

I do not miss eating my balls every other set for eight straight years. I don't miss that at all. Flop sweat, dry mouth. When you have those late ones, I mean, I'm not exaggerating. I will have – they would give me anxiety all week long. All week long, I'll have anxiety about it. Like, I got a 1.30 a.m. spot on Friday, and that's all i will think about because

i'm just like i just because you and half the time it's fine but you just know that it could be disastrous dude there was two there was two that got me forever was was the boston comedy club uh i used to get sick to my stomach when i would walk by during the day looking at it just get like my stomach getting knotted up like by during the day looking at it just get like my stomach would get knotted up like oh man that place it just it owned me for so many years and then uh talent had a room labar bat did you ever do that one on the upper west side it closed before it i did tons of shows with talent i never did that one before it closed. Dude, LeBar Bat. Let's say I did 10 shows there. I killed, I bombed, I killed, I bombed, I killed, I bombed.

I never figured it out. And after I'd bombed, I'd be sitting there and I needed the money. Paid 75 bucks. And I was like, oh, I'm fucking, I'm just going to go down here and just eat it and just get my money so I can make my rent, right? And then I would kill. And I'd be like all right man i got this room figured out and i come in a little cocky the next time every time

and they were just like it was uh after work crowd and like a tuesday night yeah and you know when you bomb talent would do that outro come on y'all comedy ain't easy you're like oh i got that outro oh dude i remember kyle grooms told me he bombed so bad in there once that he told the he told the audience he was going to set a bomb off in the place and he goes i'll blow this fucking place up there's going to be cheap suits and hair weaves all over the street dude i saw uncle jimmy mack rest his soul yeah i saw him and i remember when he was doing bad i knew i was going to eat it and i did and i remember he said something about his career and this woman just yelled that dead silence said n word what career and everybody just laughed at him oh my god just like oh my god yeah dude and then you're just sitting there like going

just all your material like can't do that can't do that one and you're just looking for that oasis like what can i open with what can i open with then also just clap it up clap it up clap it up coming to the stage now and you're like i got nothing i got nothing it gives me such anxiety to think about it dude i dude i remember doing a show with talent it was me it was talent me and one other guy and i was featuring talent was toasting it was a weekly room he had and he would just do it with three comics every week i won't say who the headliner was because he ate his ass just whispered have i andrew edited it out cover your mouth and say it and andrew edit it out. It was.

Talent was hosting his own show and struggling, and when you saw him struggling, you were like, Jesus Christ, this is going to be a fucking dog. I've never seen him have a bad set ever. and when you saw him struggling you were like jesus christ this is gonna be a fucking dog i've never seen him have a bad set ever uh it was it was once in a while you'd be in a you know one of his rooms and it would just be like it was uh it just you know it was just too rough he went on with struggling i went on he would struggling nobody was doing well headliner went on he was doing well headliner went on he was bombing so bad he sat down on the stage with his legs hanging off the side like fucking tom sawyer like on the dock he had a drink and he just kept sipping it in between every joke

because it was so quiet and his mouth was getting so dry and then you heard the straw you heard the through the mic because there's another left and talent smacks me and he goes give this motherfucker a fresh drink god damn dude those some of those fucking rooms oh you know what was another tough one what was the one uh it was a beautiful club too fuck I hate that I'm so old I forget them it was down on like it was Capone's room

on the lower west side that was another room I never figured out Nels you guys remember Nels I remember hearing about it I never did it it was one of my favorite bars to go into. And after my set, if I went okay, it was a fun place to hang out with.

But it was just like there was something about, I don't know, the way it was spaced out. I don't know what it was, but it was just one of those rooms that it was like the Bermuda Triangle. You were never going to figure it, unless you just did it every week like like Capone had it but Capone was like bulletproof but like he had it down I used to fucking go in there every other time you know Capone like Capone would just be if you killed he was like all right the next if you bombed he'd be looking at you like why the fuck did you come down and I would just be walking around so then the next time i would come down to do it all i would be thinking about is the the uh the disappointed look on capone's face from the last time i did it and i try to like block that out yeah it's brutal dude what was capone's thing that he would do

about the puerto rican dudes dancing that's he that's it he would do that thing it would that would be murder i know this bit what is it i he would do like a thing about like like the way like puerto rican dudes dance or something like that it was a very like simple premise but he would do it and he would do the dude and he'd be going that's and that's it you just like that puppy and it would like dude it sounded like oprah was giving cars away the fucking place which was just exploding dude like and you were just even if you were like two guys after him you'd be like i can't fuck what the fuck man like there's just nothing left freddie ricks was a hard guy to follow i don't know who that is i don't know oh god freddie ricks oh freddie ricks was a hard guy to follow i don't know who that is i don't know oh god freddie ricks

oh freddie ricks yeah he's a johnny bricks no not johnny bricks no no one knows what happened to him man freddie ricks was hard to follow um stapleton rob stapleton was a beast he used to host nels after after capone had it you know those rooms used to just flip all around yeah um yeah dude you're going way back into the memory bank here a lot of bad sets dude i think i bombed on every street in manhattan i'm really thinking like we kind of went all around it upper west side lower West side, Upper East side was the strip. The cellar was the village.

What was that room? Don L had out in Brooklyn. I don't remember the name of it, but man, did I, I don't know. Poke knockers. I,

that was the one you would do. That was the one that you would do. And then you'd be standing on a subway platform and some guy come up yo man bootleg comedy bootleg comedy then you have like a little dvd and your face would be on it and you're like how am i on it i was just wearing that shirt and it would be like from your show like a week ago it's that room i ate my ass in that room i remember one time i told a guy i heckled, and I told a guy to blow me, and the crowd went silent, and then I just bombed for the whole set. And then after the set, Don Al pulled me aside, and he goes,

you can't invite a man to your dick, son. You can't invite a man to your dick. Different rules, different rules. You can't invite a man to your dick is awesome. Yeah, I know. I'd never heard it phrased that way in my life. I was like, that's like Shakespearean. You can't invite a man to your dick, son.

Yeah. It's all lessons. You know, okay, because there's all these different rules in the air quote uptown rooms. I remember one time doing a college gig, and it was me, Greg Carey, in this female comic. I'm not going to say her name, right? Cover your mouth.

Cover your mouth. Say her name. How are you doing again? I don't know. You're going to start a new podcast called Cover Your Mouth. i thought you're gonna say no no no that would have been hilarious um so we show up and we're thinking it's going to be a college kids yeah you know basically mostly white kids with you know smattering or whatever right it was it was the opposite it was an all-black crowd so we're going up so she's kind of freaking out and i was like listen these crowds all you got to do is just get you just you get that first joke in you're good

and you'll ride that wave and it'll be the greatest crowd ever i didn't tell her the other thing if you don't get them in that first one you you're going to wonder why you ever got in this fucking business. So she went up there and was fucking murdering, just talking about her life. Yeah, because she was beautiful. So at first they were like, what the fuck? You know, standoffish. And then she got him. And she was fucking murdering.

And she was talking about being drunk and going into the ladies room and it was all working and she's going, you got that and your legs up and she was acting it out and everybody's rocking, dying, laughing and then she goes, and then your hair's sweeping on the floor

and then crickets. And I looked over at Greg Carey and I go, she brought up hair. And he goes, she brought up hair. And then that was it. That was it. Cause she had like network news anchor woman hair.

Yeah. So she, and then, so I think at first people pull them back. And then when she was self deprecating, they were on board. And then when they brought up at first people pulling back and then when she was self-deprecating, they were on board. And then when they brought up, when she brought it up, it would turn, it would turn on. Like, dude, when I tell you, and I, when I, and then she was like, what the fuck happened?

Oh my God. And, and, and then she didn't know how to get out of it. And then she started rushing dude. And it was like, I've never seen a set like that. Where it was just like, okay, she's got him. She's got him. Oh, my God. She's going to get a standing ovation.

Holy shit. Holy shit. She should quit comedy. She shouldn't do this anymore. Wow, dude. That's wild. But those crowds, like that would happen. I remember doing a show in, I think it was in Bed-Stuy for Kenny Williams.

And I went on in the first six minutes. I was doing really, really well. I remember I brought Craig Baldo with me and Craig Baldo got on stage and did a joke about Chris Isaac in an all black room in Bed-Stuy. They were like, who the fuck are you talking about? They were like, who the fuck are you talking about? I just remember seeing them on stage going, and I has never fallen. He was singing that song.

It was just like, what? Anyway. I have to be honest with you, dude. I miss that New York. That was wild, right? That New York that you could just walk in and do stand-up. You could get out in front of a group full of people and they would be looking at you like you were from another planet like your mainstream white shit that was on every channel they were living in such a different world

yeah that it was just like and then they would would bring, I remember, I remember Charlie Murphy getting mad at me because I told him I, you know, I hadn't heard of James Brown until Eddie did the bid on him. He's like, fuck you, man. You knew who James Brown was

because that was like, that was like me saying, if somebody not knowing who ACDC was to me. Like it really, like fucking, he came back to it like 20 minutes later. We were riding to a gig together. We were talking about other shit.

And he goes, get the fuck out, man. You know who James Brown was? You at least heard, you know, I feel good. You must have heard that shit. And I didn't understand it until years later. You know, they went, had, you know, how good James Brown was. Right. The whole world should have fucking i should that back then everybody knows him now but back then growing up i should have

known him as well as i knew fucking paul mccartney and wings like i knew that shit james brown's out there like blowing out an ACL, every fucking show, giving the greatest show ever. And I had no idea who he was until his brother did him. It was an interesting. Oh, that's right. It was Eddie that did him. I didn't realize I'm thinking,

yeah, that is upsetting, but it's Eddie Murphy's brother. You're talking to, I forgot about that. Yeah. God, it was an interesting,

it you're right. And it doesn't really exist anymore but it was a very interesting new york there were like three at least three distinct circuits of comedy with three very distinct different audiences that ridiculously overlap because like talent had a room one time diagonally across from danger fields. Yeah. Danger fields was, was a completely different pool of white people. This was like this old school bridge and tunnel. Yeah. Like it felt like they'd all still been coming there since 86.

And then right after then you could walk across the street, go do talents room. And it was like the whole, like what was, what would the big power? 106 hot 97 106 in park all of that shit that was going on was all in that room right and then the same thing with what you do like the boston or the cellar and it was that type of room right and then you walk nyu uh

skater kids yeah you go a couple blocks east and you're in like a bookstore you know or a basement library and kids are like they want like literature references in the job remember in the west village do you remember the gangster gays that was like a thing for a minute yep yeah yeah yeah those hardcore lesbians walk down the street waiting for you to look at their chick i used to date a chick that lived in that neighborhood i used to get get threatened every fucking I didn't like to sit there and try to 600 yard stare. That McDonald's that was that McDonald's

where the Fat Black is in the West Village. You know the McDonald's like two doors down. That closed down? No, it's still there. It closed down. It did? Oh yeah. I just read an article about there no it closed down it did oh yeah oh yeah that's well i just read an article about it it closed down i was gonna say shit still jumps off it was still like in the

last month of new york beat up and i remember going in there being like this mcdonald's still gets crazy like it doesn't matter how much they fancy up the west village that mcdonald's pizza yeah the amount of now famous fucking comics that i went in there and sat down at like two in the morning had a slice of pizza with them wondering both of us sitting there going like did we pick the right business i mean what the fuck we just ate our balls in some late show yeah um oh and then another circuit that was there was when the alt scene when the alt scene was this shit early on you ever used to go to like this is before your time joe there was a room called surf reality surf reality is hosted by face boy i can't remember um i don't know if it was the guy had a name when i went to i I got there in like 95. Oh yeah. I saw some shit in there,

some act outs in there that were like prior level influenced. That were like one man type of shows. Like this guy had like a toxic roommate and he was talking about how he fucked with them. And it started off funny. And then just went to this ridiculously dark fucking place. And you just sat there. I was like, dude, I feel like I'm watching a fucking movie right now.

What was Jeff Singer's room that was like the gateway to Premium Blend or whatever? Uptown. It was the New York. No. Not eating it. Luna Lounge. York... No. Not eating it. Luna Lounge. Luna Lounge. Luna Lounge. One of my favorite Patrice stories. Remember that dude, Johnny...

Johnny... Spanish, his name was. He was a comic. His name was Johnny Spanish. One of my favorite Patrice stories. He went on and bombed really bad. Patrice went on after him and he goes, Hey, Johnny, you should change your name to Johnny English.

Translate that horseshit act into Spanish. Like just the meanest possible thing you could. He used to love doing that shit with people's names yeah yeah eddie eddie um all right i think you know we were supposed to do two episodes i think we just did a two-parter with you joe i think we did dude this was awesome man this was awesome let's do this again next week yeah yeah uh by the way joe de rose is on this amazing podcast called taste buds with sal vulcano from the uh the uh thank you the the amazing uh practical joker show impractical jokers and uh i gotta tell you something the funniest fucking thing i've heard in a while is when you guys were

arguing the mcflurry versus the what's the other thing called the blizzard or some shit yeah because we were we were arguing oreos versus chips ahoy and then we it got into like the oreo blizzard and the mcflurry and all that oh no no no no no i'm sorry the mcflurry versus the frosty at wendy's that's what it was. Yeah. Yeah. And, and he, Sal literally goes dead serious. He was talking about how much the, uh, the, the blizzard was better. He goes, he got blah, blah, blah.

So I'll tell you right now, the McFlurry can take a fucking walk. And he said it with like such passion. I'm like, who the fuck gives a shit about shakes like that? So I texted him the McFlurry can take a fucking walk. And I had the three crying emojis. And he just wrote, ha-ha. And he goes, and it can, too. Like, he's serious.

And he told me, he goes, I just had a blizzard. My favorite thing he ever said on that show was he was talking about how the quality in food products has dropped. And dead serious, he goes,ian punch went from 62 ounces to 58 right under our noses dude i gotta tell you like i've disagreed with a lot of your shit but you were 100 right with that whatever that fucking dessert was the uh ice cream sandwiches no peach cobbler yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i took when you told me that when you said that you you started you ate ice cream sandwiches because of me and you agree with me on peach cobbler i took that right onto the show

because sal is rubbed my nose in it every fucking time what's that texted him about how wrong i am my sister-in-law makes actually makes a good one it's kind of like peach cobbler is the coleslaw of desserts most people it's all milky and runny yeah now people learned how to make it more hearty like the crust is non-existent when i eat fucking peach cobbler i feel like like it's gone through a cow's like two out of the three stomachs and then he just yacked onto the fucking plate it's all like warm and pre-chewed i fucking i hate peach cobbler yeah i think it's gross man i think it's really gross i don't i don't think peaches translate for the most part i don't think peaches translate well outside of their original form it's something like when you get a did you say

they're limited joe i would say they're limited i would say but they're just they they lose something when you when you when a peach gets hot it doesn't have the same tartness for whatever reason i don't know why um peach candy never really quite tastes like peach peach gum yeah it's like it's just it's just a weird i like peach iced tea but would you say burt burt Peach schnapps is great. Yes, that's very good. Yeah, nice fuzzy navel. All right, we should wrap this up before we end up going back to Britney Spears again if we're going to be sitting here talking about peach schnapps.

Hey, Bert, by the way, congratulations on your Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Fuck yeah, that was great. Thank you. I love that Super Bowl. That was a perfect game plan executed flawlessly. Absolutely loved it. All right, we got to wrap up here. Everybody, the wonderful, the lovely, the influential, the sober.

For now. Teen Idol sensation from the Opium Anti program, Mr. Joe DeRosa. Thank you for coming on. Thanks, Joe. Thanks for having me. Check out Taste Buds on the No Press Network on YouTube and also the Hey Babe podcast on there. So thanks for having me,

guys. Take care. All right, Joe. We'll see you next time. All right. Keep fighting the good fight there, cutie pie. You too. See ya. All right. Thank you.