The Bill Simmons Podcast - A Wobbling NFC, Mahomes on a Mission, and Guess the Lines Week 2 With Cousin Sal

Episode Date: September 12, 2022

The Ringer’s Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss NFL Week 1, including the Packers’ loss to the Vikings, Cowboys-Buccaneers, and Patriots-Dolphins (4:09), as well as the Steelers’ overtime win vs. the Bengals, Bears-49ers, the Saints’ comeback win over the Falcons, Jaguars-Commanders, Giants-Titans, the Chiefs steamrolling the Cardinals, and more (19:49). Then they guess the lines for NFL Week 2 (41:10) before ending the show with Parent Corner (1:14:36). Host: Bill Simmons Guest: Cousin Sal Producer: Kyle Crichton Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey, everyone. This is Chris Ryan from The Ringer. As many of you have heard by now, we lost a treasured colleague and friend over the weekend. Jonathan Charks passed away on Saturday. John was 34. He leaves behind a wife and a son, and we are obviously mourning his loss and sending all of our love to his family right now. If you go to theringer.com slash Jonathan Charks, that's J-O-N-A-T-H-A-N-T-J-A-R-K-S. You will find a memorial page for John, which has links to his GoFundMe that benefits his family and the amazing writing

he did throughout his experience. I encourage you to go there. And if you can, please support the Charks family. Briefly, I will just say that John was among the first people that we hired to work for The Ringer. So he was instrumental in defining

the voice and perspective of the site. He has as much to do with what this place is as anyone else. And throughout his experience with Cancer, John communicated eloquently about the challenges he was facing both through his writing and his podcasting. You could never stop John from talking about his passions. It's one of the things I loved about him. Over the last few months, whenever we would talk, whenever I would reach out to see how he was doing, I would try to keep it very John focused. And the next thing I knew, we would be talking about James Harden or Better Call Saul. He really loved this stuff. He loved talking about

it, celebrating it, debating it, illuminating it. We're going to keep putting out our pods and writing while we grieve, but we wanted to let folks know that John was in our hearts and that his family was in our thoughts. Thanks for listening. This episode is brought to you by my old friend, Miller Lite. I've been a big fan of Miller Lite, man, since college days when I was allowed to have beer. I think nephew Kyle is a fan too. Miller Lite keeps it simple for us.

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We're also brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network, where I have a new rewatch of us coming on Monday night. We did singles, 30th anniversary of that movie. So stay tuned for that on this podcast. Cuz and Sal and I are going to break down week one of the NFL and do Guest Alliance for week two. I did this one with a heavy heart. You heard Chris Ryan at the top talking about our friend Jonathan Charks, who passed away on Saturday. And if you go to theringer.com you can find a little information. His wife's CaringBridge. There's a link to that. There's a link to the GoFundMe

that was set for his family, which was his wife, his three-year-old son. There's a lot of people with heavy hearts today and this weekend. It was something that we started to have a real feeling might happen over the last few weeks and especially over Labor Day weekend. It started to become realistic.

He was an unbelievable guy. He was just an elite, elite, elite basketball thinker and analyst and a terrific writer who wrote some of the best pieces we ran over the last six years. He was an absolutely wonderful guy to work with. And especially the last year as he really started battling this thing and his willingness and enthusiasm to just continue to work with us when we repeatedly told him, don't worry about us, worry about you, worry about your family, worry about you. Worry about your family. Worry about trying to beat this thing. And part of the process for him for beating this thing was talking basketball with us and writing the wonderful essay he wrote last year about

everything he was going through. I think he realized at some point that whatever was happening to him could be used at least in a positive way in the sense that it might help other people, whether they had family members dealing with something, whether they were dealing with it themselves. He handled himself with so much grace, so much dignity, and was just the toughest guy I ever worked with. We were going to do a special podcast on Tuesday for him and about him. We have a couple of wrinkles in store for that, but I can't wait to do that.

And I can't wait to talk about him and talk basketball with a few people who cared about him and loved him and loved working with him. So that is in the cards for Tuesday. But we all have really, really, really heavy hearts here at The ringer. This was a great person and a great person to work with.

And we really feel for his family and his wife and his young son. So more to come on Tuesday on that front. Stay tuned. We love you, Charks. All right, Cousin Sal is here. It is week one. It looks like both of our favorite team seasons are already over, the Cowboys and the Patriots.

I want to start with a more... That was fun. I want to start with a more mainstream thing, though. What is going on in the NFC? That's what you want to start with? Our seasons are over. We waited eight months for this nothing. What were we outscored today?

Like 42 to 10 or something? And both of our quarterbacks are hurt. And he's like, I want to start with the NFC. What's troubling the Panthers? Who gives a shit? Go ahead. What do you want to say about the NFC? The NFC might stink.

Who's good? You watch football for the last four days the NFC West the NFC West might stink Brady's 45 he lost another offensive lineman today the Eagles gave up 35 points to Detroit your team I think stinks

Green Bay's passing game they could barely move the ball and so we're getting Kirk Cousins in the Super Bowl like how is this going to play out well you were reading into the fact that the Cowboys are in sole and so we're getting Kirk Cousins in the Super Bowl? How is this going to play out? Well, you were reading into the fact that the Cowboys are in sole position of last place and the Seahawks are solely atop the NFC West. Do you think that's an issue right now?

The 0-0 Seahawks are in first place. They're running through the streets like Appalachian State fans. This is really nuts. Yeah, well, we never thought anyone... Look, I'm not going to overreact to the Packers. I'm just not going to do it because then they lose like 36-3 or something terrible, 37-3 to the Saints. And then Rodgers went on to throw two interceptions the rest of the year.

So I'm not going to go too crazy. A lot of teams have offensive line issues, mine included. Tampa Bay seems to have solved theirs. I don't know how, just within an hour. And Green Bay did too. And you could tell Rodgers was out of sync with his offensive line, but I think they're going to be fine. But you're right. If there was a line on AFC versus NFC to win the Super Bowl, I would take it at minus 250. Really? So you would say almost AFC is like a minus six favorite.

Yeah, I was looking. Vandal had kept the Super Bowl odds up during the game, which I was confused by. But Tampa, they had plus 750 to win the Super Bowl. Green Bay, 13-1. The Rams, 14-1. So the Rams would be the third NFC team. The Eagles, 16-1.

They gave up 35 points to Detroit. San Francisco 22 to one. I have no idea who their quarterbacks could be two weeks from now. Minnesota 24 to one. Your team is 26 to one. And the Saints were 32 to one. I'm with you.

The one team that I'm not ready to panic with yet are the Packers. Like Watson drops that bomb at the start of the game. Is the game different if that happens? Minnesota played really well. They didn't really have the dumb Kirk Cousins turnover that they get sometimes. And Green Bay was kind of lingering in that game

even though they didn't have it. And it just seemed to me like some sloppiness and some early season stuff with Rodgers and the receivers. But that would be the team I picked. Wasn't that a must win for the Vikings? Wasn't that a kitchen sink game for the Vikings? Like if they lose that, it's like, oh, same old shit. We can't beat this team.

They're going to be on top of the division. They're going to win it by three games. So they were good. I mean, obviously Jefferson's going to be a problem. He was wide open on plays. I'll never understand for the life of me how he got so wide open on some of them against the defense, like getting behind these linebackers, these blue chippers, but

23-7, it's alright. It's not too impressive. I'm not giving up on the Packers just yet. Yeah, I wonder if Jefferson is just going to go down as the best NFC player of this season. I'm not saying he's as good as Rodgers,

anything like that, but just impactful week to week. Is he just going to be the dominant guy? Because he was the guy out of everybody there that jumped off the TVs. Didn't seem like they could cover him. I felt like if the Vikings didn't have the lead like they did,

there was like a 300-yard game potentially in play for him. Didn't you feel that way? Yeah, probably. Yeah, exactly. They did try to run the clock out towards the end. Yeah, I don't want to take too much away from them. But again, I'm not, you know, and I had them as a playoff team. I had the Packers winning the division.

But we saw what happened to the Saints. I'm not going to count Rodgers out. And I do think, you know, obviously Mahomes had an immediate, immediately, you know, made the naysayers look stupid with, you know, I, with his number 10 Pacheco against Tyree kill. Now we're saying which number 10 is better.

Like he's made his receivers adjust. I think the same thing is going to happen with Rogers within the next couple of weeks. Well, the Bucks fans are listening, going, wait a second. We just had a dominant Sunday night game.

Why aren't we in the mix? There's no Bucs fans. Do we have Bucs fans listening? Maybe. There might be a couple out there. Their defense was really good tonight. I just don't know. Now we can kind of ease into your team a tiny bit.

Great. I don't know if it was your defense being, your offense being incompetent, Tampa's defense being good, or both. What was your take watching? It sucked. And, you know, I did the Spotify live. Thank you for hooking that up.

Now it's me and the degenerate trifecta doing Spotify live in the fourth quarter of every cowboy game. And I'm like, okay, now people can taunt us and, but it'll be close. It'll be a fun game. And I actually did think the Cowboys are going to win. I don't know the hour we were on. I don't know if we had the first down, by the way, our quarterbacks out. He has a broken thumb. He's getting surgery on his thumb. So now it's, now we're don't know if we had the first down. By the way, our quarterback's out. He has a broken thumb.

He's getting surgery on his thumb. So now we're looking at Cooper Rush. That's the news? That's it. Yeah. He came to the sideline. He said it was broken. That's what I'm saying.

We buried the lead. I didn't realize he broke his thumb. I told you. Yours got a broken back. Mine's the thumb. And when he took it out of his ass, he saw that it was broken. I don't know what to do now. We didn't even really carry a second quarterback until Cooper Rush was a Rush emergency backup.

And it was awful. They won 19-3. I don't know if you would have told me this morning that the Buccaneers were going to score one touchdown. I would have been like, how much? Let me put my house on it. I'll take everything on the Cowboys. I love them this game. And they shit the bed.

And I can't even blame McCarthy. Well, I want to blame McCarthy. That's all I want to do. I want to get to that point. It doesn't look like I'm going to get there. Yeah, because a couple of times your defense stopped them on situations where it looked like the game was about to get blown open in the second quarter, where it seemed like the Bucs were going to end the quarter with like 20 plus points and they didn't. Here's what I didn't realize I was going to miss so much and it got me forlorn to when McCarthy gets fired, which could be three weeks from now, is him staring at the Jumbotron trying to figure out what the penalty was with that look on his face, which I think will be

with the clapper for Jason Garrett. I don't know what the nickname is for that. Right. Jumbotron watcher. Like, I don't even know. Yeah. The ogler, the stare. Yeah.

I don't know what he would be. The mouth breather. Jesus. So I didn't like CD lamb in any of our fantasy leagues. We're in two of them together because I was really worried about him being the only weapon versus the situation he was in last year, which was pretty ideal. And the receivers you were trying out, it reminded me a little bit of the Rams game, except he's a lesser Cooper Cup where he's throwing at people. And Collinsworth got mad at one point that that outpass that Dak threw to number 17. I don't even know that guy's name is.

And Collinsworth, he could barely talk. He was like, you've got to complete that pass. I don't know if he was mad at Dak or the receiver, but it was really awful. You just look super sloppy. My God, you know, first of all, I'm taking up smoking.

Since I switched from Parliaments to Marlboro Alliance, it's just a whole different world. I sound like Curly on City Slickers right now. So let's just get the herd back to the ranch. And boy, that Dalton Schultz is something else. Al. Oh, no, you're not Al. I'm a 10-pound mucinex.

What's your name? Who are you? I'm a chain smoker now, so get used to it. What the hell happened there? I did this. I got to say, Al goes to Amazon with Kirk Herbstreit. It's fine. Collinsworth's with Tariqo.

They're fine. Tariqo, I think he's a very, very competent play-by-play guy. I don't feel like he's ever really totally clicked with a partner where you're like, oh, these guys are great together. I can see them dining on the road 300 days a year. I just liked Alan Criss. I liked the jokes we used to make. I was thrown off.

I didn't enjoy it as much. Criss is sick too. He's pretending to have COVID. Look at him. He wants out in the worst way. Criss is like my son who has a bio test and a math test tomorrow and was becoming sicker as the day was going along. And I'm just like, this is one of my moves. It's like 50% sure he's sick. Yeah. Well, I was sick too watching that game.

How about NBC? So excited about that Brady Dallas game. And that was like one of the worst games of the day. I think Ravens-Jets was probably the worst game. That Bucs-Cowboys might have been the second worst game in the entire day. Well, we had the worst offense for sure. We scored three. No one else scored three, right? Yeah, it's pretty bad. Yeah.

Well, you're a Patriot. I mean, we had the worst two, two worst offenses. We scored three. You scored seven. How does this work? Oh, my God. We had the worst two teams. I was trying. So I was. How does this work? Oh my God. The worst two teams. I was trying. So I was

trying to be really optimistic with the Pats. I even threw them an underdog parlay. Nephi Kyle was putting on a lot of pressure on me. Came, sat down. We watched the game. You felt it immediately that it was off. Didn't feel awesome.

By the end of the game, I was making lists of like, because I watched every game today. Like, who were the teams that looked the absolute worst? And it was Arizona and it was the Jets. And then it's probably a level up.

And I think the Pats and the Cowboys, just for how everybody looked today, are probably right above those two. Arizona and the Jets looked the worst today, though. Oh, I don't, yeah. I mean, I guess. We'd scored three points, but I guess you were playing defense.

You got stops. Well, when you said the Patriots look off, I agree with you in that they were off the eight box on the direct TV, the Sunday ticket. You weren't even on the eight box. They deserve it. You didn't make. What did you know? Deserve it. They probably knew. They probably knew it was going to be an entertaining game. You weren't even on the eight box. There were nine games. You didn't make... What? Did you notice that? We didn't deserve it.

They probably knew. They probably knew it wasn't going to be an entertaining game. You were going to be worse than Jacksonville, Washington, or Cleveland, or at least as a storyline. Those games are pretty good. Yeah. No, but I knew right away, too. You guys jumped off sides on fourth and one.

You can count on one hand that many times. That's happened in the last decade with the Belichick team, right? And then I think on third and three, you had a false start. It was like, wow, this is a mess going forward. A lot of sloppiness, and now Max Hurt with some injury that we don't even know what the injury is. It was all my fears with the Pats, though,

where, you know, they had six defensive backs out there. Miami was still torturing them left to right. Here's what really scared us, because Kyle and I just weren't that impressed by Tua. I wasn't either. If Tua had had a really good game, I actually think the Pats could have lost that game by like 25

points. I thought they had guys open the entire game. I thought they could do whatever they want. They seemed faster offensively, and I just felt like that game was actually weirdly closer than it should have been, and it wasn't even that close. Yeah.

I don't know what to say. It could be that both of our teams win seven games this year. It really could. I know I laughed at you when you said that. I had you at nine and eight. And by the way, you were supposed to lose this game, though, right? You were underdog and you're on the road. You always lose to the Dolphins.

And this is in Miami. Two is not that good, which is good for you. The Jets are not good, obviously, with the, I don't even know what it's going to look like when Zach Wilson comes back. And the Bills are world beaters. I mean, that was funny that that was the very first thing we analyzed last week when we did the one before I guess the Lions. Are we sure the Bills are good? They're excellent. They are so damn good.

They look so much better than everybody today except for the Chiefs. Wouldn't you put those two, if we're going to do power rankings, those two and then a far, far jump off for the second tier. Bills, Chiefs, I think the Chargers, without JC Jackson, I was impressed with how they held the Raiders under 20. And I don't know, they kind of let the Raiders hang around that game, but I thought talent-wise, they're clearly better.

And then Minnesota was the other one that really jumped out today. And it's hard to say, like, did they catch Green Bay the perfect week? But their defense looked good, didn't you think? The defenses looked good for both those teams. And we have friends that are putting the Chargers and the Vikings in the Super Bowl. But I don't know. They scored in the low 20s. So I'm not... I wasn't overly impressed with either team.

But definitely games that they don't want to lose. How much of the Philly-Detroit game did you watch? Because we got that... I had the four TVs going. We bumped that game because it looked like it was a blowout. There were two games that we just stopped monitoring. I got to say, I was a little rusty

today. I mean, it's definitely a little off this weekend for a variety of reasons, but we had no idea. Kyle claims he told me like two or three times that Indy tired it. That game's going overtime. Maybe I just blocked it out because I didn't want to put it on one of the TVs. But that one

and then Philly-Detroit all of a sudden was a game, which I wasn't expecting. Yeah, well, why should we want to watch that Colts-Texans game? They didn't know either. All those teams wanted to win. That was disgraceful. I was ready to pencil the Texans in for the AFC South winner. It's like, what?

Now they're blowing it too? So, yeah, that was bad. Yeah, and again, whatever red zone had for a while, that was one of Yeah. And again, whatever red zone had for a while, that was one of my four screens. And so when the Lions fought back, it came back on there, but yeah, they get, you're right. That's how I'll look at the Eagles. They gave up 35 points to the Lions. And Swift had a huge game. There was some major want games. We'll take a quick break and then we'll talk about it.

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watch Prime Monday night hockey deliver unreal plays, the biggest goals, can't miss moments. Matthews, McDavid, Crosby, the NHL's best. They're all on Prime. Prime Monday Night Hockey. It's on Monday. It's on Prime. Okay. So we had every week one, we have this. If we went back and listened to our old podcasts on week one, we have these games, right? We had the drunk game, Pittsburgh, Cincinnati. One of the dumbest sporting events. There's McPherson.

I have Tucker one and McPherson two for like if my life depended on it, who do I want kicking? You know, they chase scores, touchdown. The Bengals don't review it. Still unclear why they didn't review it. All of a sudden, they're going backwards and then they lose the ball. Pittsburgh has it, but thank God Trubisky's there.

Since he gets the ball again, they can't get it to Chase. Finally, they get it to Chase. Touchdown with no time left. And it's like, this is a wrap. 20-20. Here come, and McPherson gets a kick block. Same thing in OT.

They kick on third down. They had the backup long snapper who does a bad snap and the holder, if it's a bad snap, just roll on it, right? Clock it. Let's run it again. Right. But no, McPherson shanks it. Pittsburgh screws up again. Since he has, again, they have it at midfield. They're like, minute left, screw it. We're going to take the tie. Nobody loves ties, but we're not going to go for it fourth and ten, give them a chance to win on a field goal and take the tie.

The freaking punter kicks it with 15 seconds left on the play clock. Pittsburgh gets it with like a minute left and is able to go down and they get a long field goal to win it. Horrific. This is my team. This is one of my teams. I was back in this shit. This is a disaster. And Burrow

had like four picks. You know, we wait eight months for this to come back or six, seven months, whatever it is. It's like, oh, it's so exciting. We owe Mahomes. We want to talk about Brady. He's taking time out. And then most of these games come back to shitty kicking and shittier coaching. It's like, what are we even doing?

Why are we watching this? But it wasn't really McPherson's fault. They had this drunk, you want to talk about drunk games. I think the backup long snapper was drunk, right? Twice he botched the snap. So that was bad Cincinnati. And then, yeah, that Pittsburgh, they kicked that field goal and Boswell hits the upright with a resounding doink.

Whenever you hear that resounding doink, that means that team can't win, no matter what happens the rest of the game, right? Except then they came down and won. You're right. They were about to take the tie, which would have been great, because then they could claim like, oh, Tomlin keeps the streak alive. We ended up 8-8-1, right? We don't fall under 500. It really

seemed great for everybody, and then they blew it, but the one takeaway is this offensive line, Lael Collins and whatever they blew it. But the one takeaway is this offensive line, Lael Collins and whatever they did through the draft, did not come to fruition for the Cincinnati team, for sure. Like, Burrow was sacked seven times and turned it over, what, six? Yeah, it felt even worse than that, watching it. They couldn't protect him.

And so there's a chance the Steelers defense, well, now Watt's out. So maybe that Stewart's defense. Well, now Watt's out. So maybe that point's gone. But the Stewart's defense, maybe they were awesome today. I expected the Bengals to block better than that. And it looked like first eight weeks of last season Bengals where they just couldn't keep guys. Burrow was terrible. We have the pick six counts minus four in our league. Burrow, near halftime in one of the leagues was like minus two. Even though he had over

100 yards. He wasn't great and yet pulls up that chase TD right at the end. They cut to him. He's just walking to the sidelines. Joe Cool. You're just like, oh man, they pulled this out of their ass. Unbelievable. Then they missed the kick. It's weird because the Steelers win, but it feels like they lost.

Because Watt's going to be out. What's the torn pectoral? Is that a full year? Is that 10 months? I think it is a year. I don't know. I don't know that you come back. Yeah, I think so.

Or maybe the end of the year or something. And Najee Harris has a high ankle sprain. He's out four weeks. So, yeah. So, they win. And they put this. Well, we'll get to it. But they play's out four weeks. Mm-hmm. Yeah, so they win, and they put this... Well, we'll get to it, but they play your team next week. Oh, yeah. I am aware. That's a rough one.

All of a sudden, I had this team. This team was full of shit last year. They made the playoffs, but I really felt the Steelers were more like a 5-12 team who knuckleballed their way to coin flip wins against backup quarterbacks. That's how I saw it. And now look at this.

Then they go in Cincinnati and beat the Bengals. So I don't know what to make of them. They might be the new stay away team for me, betting wise. They look frisky defensively, but they're not going to be as frisky without Watt. The week one overreaction game, and neither you or I are overreacting. I'm proud of us as Minnesota Green Bay. Because I think we're going to come out of this tomorrow and Tuesday and it's going to be Minnesota, new sheriff in town.

Rodgers, all he wanted to do was get paid. He got his payment, but guess what? You don't have any receivers left there in Rodgers. Maybe you should have bought yourself a number one receiver and all that. That'll be 48 hours of that crap. And then Minnesota looked great. And if you're just laying the breadcrumbs for this division's going to flip

it had to start this way with a Minnesota win so good start for them they have a lot of talent on both sides now and the Jefferson thing is probably him and Cup are the two biggest X factors in that whole conference yeah for sure

Z'Darrius Smith coming over they have the dynamite defense. If Danelle Hunter, if all these guys could stay healthy and it's, it's a big question mark, then, uh, good home field two or three team in the NFC, I'll say for sure. But yeah, I'm not counting the Packers out. I think the ayahuasca makes Aaron Rogers thinks he has good receivers. Like, Oh look, I'm seeing Jordy Nelson, uh, from afar. Like he could pretend that these guys are actually on the team.

I'm seeing Randall Cobb from 2010. Yeah, right. Exactly. Minnesota, that was one of the only home field advantages I felt like we had today. Didn't feel like the crowd affected it. So anyway, I'm not going to overreact to it because, you know, it's Minnesota. We know how this goes

with them, but I thought a very strong start. We'll overreact if the Packers lose to the Bears at home next week. I think that's a night game too. That's a Sunday night game. Well, so then we had the bad weather game. That's a tradition every year. Today it was Niners, Bears. So I swore to myself I wasn't going to tease

or parlay the Niners with Lance until I got to see it for like four weeks. What did I do today? Got super excited about the weather and did a little Niners under tease. Tease the over under up to like 46. They're up 7-0. They're driving for the second touchdown. The Bears have like 22 yards of offense.

It's a monsoon. That's about as safe as I'm going to feel with a tease. And what happens that Lance really looked discombobulated the whole game. He was outright bad. There was some good advanced stats with him about how many, uh, how many his expected completions versus what he actually had and stuff like that. I thought he looked skittish, rattled, happy feet. Um, not sure what to do the weather. You got to give him, I guess, a break for that. But they let the Bears hang around. Then Fields made two big plays.

Right. With really no receivers. And it didn't really seem like they could block for him. And it was a monsoon. And Fields won the game. He stole it from him. But I thought, yeah. And I don't want to, by the way, the Bears fans,

I haven't experienced this yet. I said the Bears were going to have the worst record in football. Maybe I have to back off a little bit. And they show the field this morning. They're raking gallons and gallons of water off. And the sidelines, I don't know if you saw, the sidelines were crooked. It's like, oh, this team is just, they're $60 million in dead money. This is such a rebuilding year.

They're actually rebuilding a stadium. That's how rebuilding this is, this situation. They're not even going to be playing there anymore. And 49ers, like you said, were up 10-0. And really, they just had to keep the Bears from scoring for 20 minutes before that monsoon really hit. And no one was able to score at all once that monsoon hit, right? Let alone get a first down or anything like that.

But I do feel with as much was going on against them, I feel like Fields jumped Lance a little and the 49ers breathed a sigh of relief that they held on to Jimmy G, right? Fields had, I thought, a really good game considering the conditions and his blocking situation and the weapons, all that stuff. I was impressed.

We kept kind of coming back to it on one of the TVs the conditions and his blocking situation and the weapons, all that stuff. I was impressed. We kept kind of coming back to it on one of the TVs. And he seemed weirdly calm considering all the reasons he shouldn't have been calm. And then flip side, Lance, we thought if they kept Jimmy G, that was probably a bad sign for how they felt about Lance. And then we saw nothing today from Lance. I don't know. I don't know when they make the move, but the problem with keeping Jimmy G around, if they hadn't kept them around, then it's like, well,

Lance is the QB. He's going to have to figure it out. But you can't say that now, especially with the NFC so wide open and, you know, Kittle didn't play today, their defense, which I think you've got to blame at least some of that

to the conditions. But, you know, if they have a chance to go far in the NFC, it's not going to be with the Lance that we saw today. I didn't see anything that made me hopeful. Did you? I mean, he can run a little bit. That's it. Yeah, it was like 13 for 54 running, I'm looking now.

But, I mean, the other way to look at it is they say to him, okay, is there any way Troy Lance can up his game in a way that they catch the juggernaut Seattle Seahawks who are in first place right now? Oh, no, Seahawks. Yeah, right. That's where you have to go. I wish they had dropped

Jimmy G because I think the Cowboys would pick him up right now and he could maybe do something with this team. Although, we got into it. I felt like I cut you off. CeeDee Lamb may not be a number one receiver. So that might be the problem right there as we both of our teams have trouble with receivers getting separation. But yeah, I'm not fully on board with Lance, but you can't.

I don't think you could bench him for week two yet. This was it was a terrible. The conditions were terrible. You need to see a little bit more. Yeah. If you're If you're running a PR thing here, like if they hired Louis K, controversial

PR guy out here in LA that we're friends with. If you hired him to be like, hey, the Niners need some help the next couple days, you would play up the weather thing really hard, I think. He's never played in conditions like that. It's his first start. I think all things considered, he did okay. There's a whole's never played in conditions like that it's his first start I think all things considered

he did okay there's a whole narrative you're gonna push but they made this bed when they kept Jimmy G uh the

the Groundhog Day game the fucking Falcons it doesn't matter who the QB is it doesn't matter who the coach is guess what they're gonna kick their fans

in the balls and they're gonna do it in games like today. That game was another one that just went off the TVs. It was over. It was done. Jameis was doing nothing. Atlanta would build a big lead and then all of a sudden New Orleans is stealing the game and the Falcons are doing dumb

Falcon shit. And it was just classic. New Orleans, it's a miracle they're 1-0. Dennis Allen has to be like, I was going to be 8-29 for my career record. I can't believe we won one. Yeah, they were down 16, and it didn't look like Dennis Allen had an answer for the Falcons

or Marcus Mariota. Think about that. I felt the same way as you. I said, wow, look at all these games. They're all going to be blowouts, and they're all going to go under. Then there started to be some comebacks, and Jameis, Jameameis comeback play of the year. I got some money on it. I'm not, do you really not hurting with that? Yeah. Yeah. Why not? Why not? Well, another week

one staple is me getting crushed by bets that at around, I don't know, 1255 Pacific time. I penciled in mentally as a win. I had two. In Jacksonville, which just seemed like they took control of that Washington game. And it seemed like Wentz was, like he had maybe two career starts left in his life. And then all of a sudden,

Wentz is Daryl LaMonica bombing it downfield. And the Jags, I thought they were going to come back and win. All of a sudden, they didn't. They didn't even cover. And I had them in an adjusted line to four and a half. I had them in underdog parlay. You're right.

They lost by six. I'm looking at it. I don't know why I didn't realize that just until now. They lost by six. I thought it was like a two-point game. Washington made a two-point. Jacksonville missed the two. It was a disaster.

Yeah. And then the other one was Carolina, which was another terrible game management thing where they drive down. They're down two. There's maybe three minutes left, and I think they're on around the 20. And it's like,

Cleveland should not get the ball back. This is it. You guys got this. Go for the touchdown. Baker fumbles the snap. I think the second play, second down was some, some terrible run. And then third down, they screwed up all of a sudden they're kicking the field goal. Pinheiro comes in. It almost seemed like he was going to make it, but he did. And, and you're thinking, I'm like, I'm good.

Carolina's up. They're up one. Not going to cover the minus two bet I made on Tuesday, but I'll cover a million dollar picks. Brissette's not going to go 40 yards here. And then he did this dink and dunk thing. They left him just enough time. And the fucking guy in Cleveland makes a 58 yarder. And that was how my early game started. They called it wrong, too.

The refs, you know, you can't fake spike it. And so they threw a flag, and that would have done it for the game really. Right. But then they, they, it was enough for them to huddle, but they didn't know the rule. And they're like, ah, there's no flag on the play. It's like, yeah, there should have been a flag on the play. Why are we helping the Cleveland Browns out?

What the hell is going on here? I don't know. I'm torn with this because I think it's kind of fun. I don't know how you feel, but I think it's fun to make fun of Baker. And especially when he's like, fuck the Browns. What did he say? What did he say? I'm going to, I'm going to, whatever he said. I was like, oh, that's funny when the guy, you know, he has a 37 QBR and he's saying F the Browns. But then again, we have to root against the Browns, right? We can't give Deshaun free wins up until when he comes back. So I was torn

on this, but they should not have won the game well i had my 2022 ridiculous sleeper carolina panthers the i can't believe this team made the playoffs team and i thought i had it baker was awful in the first half he's pretty good in the second half and they got they just i thought they were the better team in the second half that was a really tough loss though jag Jaguars, same thing where, what did Etienne, he dropped two touchdowns? Sure, yeah. One in the open was wide open on a screen pass.

It was a little over his head. Going left to right, yep. It felt like they blew that game as much as Washington took it. The Wentz thing, so Wentz had finished with four touchdown passes and two picks, including a pick that I think traveled three yards. I don't think anyone has ever thrown picks in traffic to a defensive lineman better than him.

And I realized after, you know, it's like, ah, Wentz, he'll lose his job. That was Trayvon Walker, right? The number one pick, that short pick? Yeah. I realized I actually want Wentz to stick around. It's really exciting to have him as an NFL starter. Every player who's out there is in play for every throw.

It might go right to the linebacker. It might go to defensive lineman. It could go to any of the receivers. It could hit the guy holding the sideline thing in the side, but it just, everyone's in play is exciting. You're watching him. He's apologizing after one series. He looks devastated after the next one, the next it just everyone's in play. It's exciting. You're watching him. He's apologizing after

one series. He looks devastated after the next one. The next one, he's fist pumping and running out. It's just a gamut of emotions. They should call him the gamut, I think would be my Carson Wentz nickname. Oh, I like that. Yeah. The gamut. Yeah, he's all over the play. I really thought that second interception, it was over

for them, right? I mean, how much time was left? For him. Yeah. It seemed like it was done. Yeah. Terrible. Any other week? Oh, we didn't mention the Giants. So, Saquon, as you know, I think he's the best running back of all time.

I'm already on the record. He's the most talented running back I've ever seen. It took two years from the ACL. Is that true? You said that? I said it to you. You were nodding in horror like four years ago. I made that point to you on this podcast. You know, Colin Fornette, as sick as he was or whatever was going on, he said Leonard Fournette was the greatest in college,

the greatest running back he had ever seen. I was like, oh my God, get him out. Someone tap him out. Put Sean Payton in the booth right now. Leonard Fournette, even for a week, was never the. Someone tap him out. Put Sean Payton in the booth right now. Leonard Fournette was never the, even for a week, was never the greatest quarterback in college. Saquon was great today. The Giants game was really, they come back. Neither

of us like Tennessee this season. Dayball looked like he was going to try it. Kyle and I were joking. It looked like he was trying to kill Daniel Jones on the naked bootlegs in the rollout. So it was like, if I could do eight of these, maybe he'll get hurt. And then finally, a

couple of them worked. They got momentum. Saquon broke a couple big plays. Titans couldn't do anything. They score, and we're sitting there and I'm going, they should go for two. I'm not taking this to OT. They have all the momentum. The Titans look dead. And then they actually did it.

And Dayball, who they showed before, he was chewing out Daniel Jones. You see that part? He was just yelling at him with the setbacks. And they get in, they cut to him, and he looks like he's

at a craps table with all his coordinators. They stop Tennessee. They get a missed field goal. And they win it. Is this a here come the Giants moment for you? Or is this the highlight

of their season? Well, I do want to, I had them as eight wins this year and they probably should have lost today with the way Tennessee just needed like another field goal to put them away, really. I mean, they literally needed another field goal, but I do caution Giants fans.

They love Joe Judge in the beginning, right? He was a rah-rah guy and I think you probably saw the same scene with him chewing out Daniel Jones and then all of a sudden they hated him. They couldn't play for him. And he obviously didn't know what he was talking about. I'm not saying that's the case with Dable, but he got a lot of help from Vrabel. I mean, I don't know what the hell goes on at the end where they blow a timeout instead of clocking it. And then Tannehill takes a snap and goes three steps

back. And it's not even to get it in the right positioning for the hash marks because he still put it on the far hash mark, except three steps back. And that's exactly the distance by which the field goal was missed to the right. So yeah, the Giants are very lucky, but they did show some heart and Saquon Barkley's back. You're right. 164 yards. When are these teams going to realize you don't take the last time out in that situation? Oh,

I don't get it. And by the way, don't spike it either. Just run a play. This is why you practice every week. Yeah. You haven't, you're not there.

You're 47. A magic number. The most crucial missed field goal was exactly 47 yards and it was outdoors and it was Scott Norwood. And now everyone who settles for 47 yards is stupid. It was a lucky win for the Giants, but it was also an awesome win for the Giants. And it was the first time they've had hope

in a few years. They're also like with Saquon makes them exciting. That was a team that you did not want on any of your TVs. Now I don't know. Now I'm intrigued by them. We had four comebacks. We had the Giants, we had the Saints, we had the Browns, we had the Seawords. All came back

in the... Oh, the Seawords, the Colts? No, the Commanders. Oh, well, the Colts came back too, but they tied. Yeah, okay. Yeah, you're right. Does that count? It's like a half comeback. Yeah, I guess. I don't know. I don't know what the... Half-bass comeback. What was the game we didn't go over

I think we went no we didn't we didn't hit the Chiefs yeah it's just listen we talked about this when we did our over-unders thing and I've been talking about it

I just I felt like the Mahomes scorched earth tour was going to happen I thought he was going to go for the six touchdown pass they handed off I was rooting for it

right for some reason six touchdown passes seems like so many more than five. Which makes no sense. But how many times did somebody throw six touchdowns in a game? No interceptions. He was killing them. You feel like you have to go into the 1940s

to find a stupid game where the quarterback had six touchdowns. But what? It was like 12 for 13 to start, I think. And then 30 for 39. Five TDs. know you look at like valdez scantling at 44 yards like the sky more at 30 like that they it doesn't matter that number 10 isn't there he found two tight ends who i'd never heard of because he's just going to improvise and he's like a magician he's like oh here's my here's my new trick i'm gonna shuffle

it left-handed three yards out for a touchdown. Right? So Noah Gray, who the hell are these guys? I don't understand, but he's going to be just fine. I thought it was an amazing move to give Pacheco the number 10 because it's like this Jedi mind trick. Every time number 10 had the ball for the Chiefs, and you're either watching four TVs or you're not concentrating,

you think it's Tyreek Hill for like three seconds. He's a little smaller, so it's not like he's 6'4". But I thought that was smart. Buffalo and KC, I think, are the winners of week one. It feels like they're up here, and then we go down a level, and then we'll see who else can maybe get there. But they just, they move the ball the easiest. They can block for great

quarterbacks. And I thought Casey's defense, which I was bullish on. I thought they look good. And on the flip side, the cards defense is awful. The Chiefs are good, but the cards defense is awful. And we got to monitor that too. It's no good. You know, first coach fired. I have Cliff Kingsbury. I

think they lose to Seattle. Even though he got an extension. Yeah. That doesn't matter. We've seen that a million times before. But yeah, I think they're going to be either 1-4 or 0-5. And that's going to be that. I mean, that's one thing you can count on with that team. They always start off strong, 8-2, 10-2.

If you don't get that, it's going to be bad the rest of the way. Are we sure Frank Reich shouldn't enter the chat room on that one? I don't get that it's going to be it's going to be bad the rest of the way are we sure Frank Reich shouldn't enter the chat room on that one I don't know you think like how they how they ended that Jacksonville

how they ended the season last year in that awful Jacksonville game and Wentz became the fall guy and then the game today I don't I don't know

have we ever seen anything from like a decent team like the Colts in contention every year he's had five different quarterbacks start the season every season. Who did he have? He had Luck,

then he had Brissette, then Rivers, then Wentz, and who is it now? Which garbage? Who was it? Matt Ryan. Your friend Matt Ryan. It's very weird. It's a weird tenure. I don't know what to say about them. I guess they should be better, but I think the winner of that division is nine and eight at best.

Let's take a break and we'll do Guest Alliance Week 2. This episode is brought to you by Movember. The mustache is back with a vengeance. Look at Travis Kelsey. Before he rocked that Super Bowl ring, he rocked that super soup strainer. Grow a mustache for Movember. You'll do great things too. You won't win that Super Bowl ring, he rocked that super soup strainer. Grow a mustache for Movember. You'll do great things too.

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It's the ability to reach further with access to over 1,400 lounges worldwide. Redefine possible with Business Platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and conditions apply. Visit mx.ca slash business platinum. All right, guess the lines week two. The Thursday night game

will be a lot better than the Sunday night game just was. Chiefs Chargers in Kansas City. I hate that this is a Thursday night game just because

what is this one? The two Chiefs Chargers games are two of the best 12 games of the year. I'd just rather have those on a Sunday or Monday. Really? I'm good with it. I want every night game to be AFC West.

I don't want to see my team in it anymore. There's enough greatness in the AFC West to just split it up amongst those four teams. Are you worried about Vegas at all? That was like you thought they were a playoff team. I'm always worried. Yeah, I guess I am. I would say like my, my flex is that the AFC South is going to suck. And yes, my fail is that Vegas, their offensive line might not, they may not be able to compete in some of these games because the offensive line. Well, there's also a chance Miami might be better than we thought.

I don't know what to make of that. We always said this after week one, where there's like four games where you don't know, is that team worse than we thought, or is that team better than we thought? And then you have to watch three more weeks. Then you go back, you look at week one, and you think, oh, actually, that makes sense now,

because Miami's 4-0, and they're really good. Right. I will say this prediction which one do you want to back off of like which future's bed or angle you had what were you like maybe i wasn't right about this i'm really worried about cincinnati i mean i'd back off a few things but i thought one of the reasons i love cincinnati was i thought they're going to be able to block and they did not block pittsburgh today and now i don't know what to think they figure it out.

They're still loaded. I mean, have mixing and chasing Higgins and burrow. Like they're still loaded, but, um, that worried me. Um,

what was the other one? The, Oh, green bear had, that was my super bowl pick. You're fine. You're good. I think I'm fine,

but I'm going to, I'm going to worry about a tiny bit. I had the Rams in the playoffs and I'm a little concerned about them too. Um, Miami would be the one I still, I'm fine, but I'm going to worry about it a tiny bit. I had the Rams in the playoffs, and I'm a little concerned about them too. Miami would be the one. Maybe we're never going to make up our mind on Tua. People would be like, of course, you're a Sour Grapes Pats fan. The Pats aren't good. I thought Miami should have won that game by 30 points,

and I thought Tua held them back in a couple spots there. So we'll see. We'll see what happens when he plays a good team. All right, Thursday night. Chiefs Chargers. I have the Chiefs by three. I think these are two even teams. I've given the Chiefs three for Arrowhead, and there you go.

All right, we split it. I said four, and it's three and a half. I think they're that much better than I really do. And they kind of beat them up, don't they? The Chargers seem to lose dumb games. That's what I try to tell Chargers fans. People are sending them to the Super Bowl. They always do something shitty with their kickers.

They have no home field advantage, and they have bad luck just in general. And they have a crazy coach who's going to win them two games and probably lose them two games. So where does that really put them? Really, you have them winning 12 games. I don't know. I have that at four. We split that though.

Keenan Allen injured his hamstring. He left the game. I guess he wouldn't be ready for Thursday night, but who knows? And then JC Jackson, he didn't play today. I don't know if they were holding him out because they wanted him for Thursday,

but they could be missing Keenan Allen, JC Jackson for that one. I'm riding the Chiefs until they lose. I'm just telling you. I'm betting them every week until they lose. Sunday, the marquee game. It's interesting. I did this whole list this morning and I had Cowboys-Bengals as the marquee game, but I think it is no longer the marquee game. I think that has dropped a couple levels. I have a new marquee game. A new marquee game. There's a new?

Wow. What is it? Let's go Ravens-Dolphins. Steelers-Patriots? No, Ravens-Dolphins. It's a good one. Yeah, I think. Now, the Ravens defense looked really good today.

Granted, they're playing the Jets. This will be a nice Tua test. If Tua on the road against this Ravens team, they're going to need points. And if he can move the ball and connect on some deep throws and move around in the pocket, then now we can talk. But I have the Ravens by four over the Dolphins.

You nailed it. I keep forgetting that you cheat on these. I had three and a half. It's four. So you get that one. I think that's fair, though. Four is fair. I think they're that much better. But there is always a surprise to an O-team, right? I only have two games as

watchables. Well, Buck Saints. Legit watchables. only have two games as watchables. Well, Buck Saints. You don't have Buck Saints? Legit watchables. I have two right now. First one's Buck Saints. It's in New Orleans. Brady moves to the NFC. This became the new House of Horrors for him. Right. Saints had a little

momentum. Buck's easy game on Sunday night. I had the Bucks by three and a half. That's exactly what I had it. And it's three. Okay. I like the Saints. I like the Saints.

I'm telling you right now. How many offensive linemen are the Bucs going to have? Yeah, I know. It just never seems to matter. Now Julio Jones is like open every single play for four yards, but they've beaten him four times, right? They've beaten the Brady Bucs four times and not one of them was a one score game. They're all blowouts. And I think they know this. And by the way, we didn't even mention Taysom Hill. Taysom Hill is

a huge part of this offense and it's working. And so we can't laugh at Taysom Hill yet. He's like, right. They're like 80 yards. What was, what was his rushing numbers? Like they figured this coach has figured it out already. I like saying what, what seventies TV sidekick would you compare Taysom Hill to? Who? The janitor from one day at a time.

Interesting. Schneider. Schneider. Is he more Schneider or Larry from... Oh, Larry was elite. I don't think he's Larry. What do you mean Larry? Nobody under 35 understands what we're talking about. Raiders home for the Cardinals.

This is in Vegas. Yeah. So on Sunday morning, I guess Raiders by four. And after watching the games today, I now have Raiders by five and a half. I think the secret is out of the cards. Why are you doing this in the morning? I do preliminary lines, and then I want to see where I change my mind. You are dedicated.

Okay, what'd you say it was? I have it Raiders by five and a half. Oh, no, it's high. I said two and a half. It's three and a half. Oh. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Wow.

Listen, I think the Cardinals are bad. I really do. Vegas hates the Raiders. They're actually bad at football. Ironically, Vegas hates the Raiders when they set these lines. They're 7-1 to win the division, and their over-under was what? Eight wins? So it's coin flip, and they get the home field advantage.

I might bet that one early. I know they had a lot of stuff planned for Rondell Moore this week, and he was good in training camp, but I also don't think he would have made a huge difference in that Chiefs game. Because their defense is legitimately bad. I think they have a bottom five or six defense. Where are you on quarterbacks playing the preseason? We've all seen one or two go down,

and it's like they shouldn't even be playing this game. But that was a knock on Derek Carr, who really was a couple throws away from putting them in that game. And I like Carr too, but I just think he underthrew. One was a terrible underthrow to open. I think it was Devonta Adams in the end zone. What do you think about playing one game or play one series? It just seems like it would be helpful to play a couple series each game.

I don't know. I never played football past the ninth grade. I don't really know how much it affects whatever, but I just think like same thing with basketball. Like Galanari got hurt. He's out for the year for the Celtics, and it's like, oh, why is he playing in this thing? It's like these guys want to play. That's how they stay good at stuff.

That's how they stay sharp. You have to continue to play. So when you were a sixth-grade football player, did you feel like you needed the preseason? Definitely needed it for the conditioning. I think that line's too low. Fairly watchables. I have Steelers

Pats. This could be Trubisky versus Hoyer, which might be a poopfecta. I don't even know if that's what happens. I have the Steelers by two and a half. Steelers by two and a half. I had Steelers by one and a half. Ready for this? Patriots by one

oh come on Patriots favored come on I think they're still basing these on the preseason over under win totals for the most part that's absurd well it's kind of must win-ish for the Patriots

Steelers can kind of coast there's two camps of Pats fans right now one is this is exactly what I thought we were terrible and I knew it and this is what we were all preseason this is who we are then the other one is look opening drive of the game was great

interception bounced off the dude's helmet screwed up on the strip sack of Mac because somebody screwed up a block screwed up on the 40 yard w Mac because somebody screwed up a block, screwed up on the 40-yard waddle TD because the safety moved in and all of a sudden left the middle of the field open. So it's basically three plays. You take those three away, and it's a close game. I just don't personally believe that.

I think every game there's going to be three plays like that with this Pats team. I don't think they're very good. I don't think they have a lot of talent. Yeah, right. I'm with you, but I just think you don't think they have a lot of talent. Yeah, right. But I'm with you. But I just think you have the coach that plays to win without talent. I'm talking completely after.

I get it. That's why I put him in underdog parlay. It's like the infrastructure is going to win. But at some point, it becomes like Miami today. I don't know how many times they got it to Tyreek Hill, but it felt like he had the ball or an attempt at the ball like 18 times in that game. And he's 100 times more terrifying than anybody on our team.

That's what pisses me off. We could talk about, well, maybe he's not a number one, but guys get open, right? Like Jamar Chase gets open. Jefferson gets open. C.D. Lamb should be able to get open, right? I don't care if he's going over the middle like oh they have no vertical

receivers anymore and that's what's heard like just freaking get open get open for five yards you could do it we were watching one of the Vikings plays it was like they're in the red zone it was like third and whatever and we were like how is Jefferson getting it you know he's getting open

and he got open and he made this incredible catch and he couldn't keep his second foot in, but just watching him, he's navigating around. He's, he's right. You know, and you just like,

this guy's just going to find a way to get open by two feet and then he'll catch wherever the ball is. They figured out Cooper cup was double team. The all of Thursday night. He got, he ended up with 13 catches. Yeah. Well, this Pat Steelers game, no Watt.

Watt was a monster today, by the way. We didn't mention that he got hurt at the tail end of the game. He was all over the place in that game. Yeah. If they beat you down without Watt, then I think you should worry. But honestly, I think this is a good game that you come away with. Do you think Belichick thinks he's going against Brian Dayball or Brian Flores in this game?

Ooh, interesting. Do you think he changed it in his cell phone yet? He's got to check his phone. Yeah. I don't know. Oh, God, you're a terrible team. I forgot about that extra incentive the Dolphins had. He screwed up their lives so miserably.

Yeah. So there's that. Your terrible team is hosting the Bengals. Well, we can't put a line on this. My guy's got a broken thumb. We cannot put a line on this. I think we skipped this one, right? Yeah.

I would just say pick them. Let's say pick them. All right, next one. AFC South. The worst division of... It's got to be. Of the season? Mm-hmm South. The worst division of... It's got to be. Of the season. Not the worst division ever

because you had that one year when Washington won the... Yeah. NFC East at 7-9. That was pretty bad. We'll take credit for that. That's fine. Colts at the Jags.

I'm a little bullish on this Jags team. I know they lost, but I thought they moved the ball. I thought they left points on the table just by human error mistakes and not terrible mistakes, like just Eddie Ann dropping a touchdown and shit like that. I'm a little bullish on them in this game.

I have the Colts minus two over the Jags, though. That's exactly what I had. It's four. Colts are a four-point favorite. Matt Ryan, four. Four over Trevor Lawrence. Yeah, I'm with you. I think they're going to get better.

I also think all these games, none of them should be three points or more. Certainly not Colts going on the road against any of them. Even the Texans, it wouldn't matter. But I'm with you. Four's a lot. By the way, the favorites, I think, were counting the Rams game. I think they were 8-7 so far. Were they really?

Because in the morning, they were on the box game through, I thought. Yeah, but then we had the Bucs covered tonight. I know underdogs were, not underdogs, unders were 10-5, so that's something to keep an eye on, including the

Bills Ram. Rams, Falcons, which if you had told me two weeks ago, what's the line, I would have said like 8.5. I'm going to lower it. I have Rams by 6 over the Falcons. That's low.

And even mine at 7.5 is low. 11.5. Oh, come on. That's 11 and a half. That's idiotic. Well, I'm going to introduce you to your first three-team teaser. You're going to love it. You're going to fall in love with it. Did you see Matt? Did you see Stafford? Some of those throws on Thursday night. I did. I do feel like that offense is in trouble if Cooper Cup isn't in it. I know that's saying a lot. It's their best player, but... Right?

Well, it's a little like your offense where it's like... And he's way better than C.D. Lamb, but it was like, who are these other guys? Right. At least you can put in power. They can't put in anybody

that would scare you in a running back standpoint. 10 days rest, they're not losing to this shit. Well, here's the other thing. One to this shit. One of the Falcons screwed us before. We're fine with this. Here's the other thing with the Rams. Even if they're up by 20, it's not like they

can run the ball. They can protect the weed when it's like 30 to 10 in the fourth quarter. They're just punting it back. It's a good point. 49ers Seahawks. Well, we don't know what to expect from the Seahawks. Who do you like in that game tomorrow? I like the Seahawks. I don't know what to expect from the Seahawks who do you like in that game tomorrow

I like the Seahawks I do too I'm taking the dogs yeah I don't know I don't trust the 33 year old Russell Wilson

the weird offensive line and the new coach I'm not sure yet I'm with you I have 49ers by 7

over the Seahawks I had it exactly I got 8 okay okay so that's 2 wins are you beating me 49ers by seven over the Seahawks. I had it exactly. I got eight. Okay. Okay. So that's two wins. Are you beating me?

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Oh, yeah. Seven, two, four. Oh, my God. I got to come back here, Bill. Broncos, Texans. I got some clunkers. Yeah. This is in Denver.

Houston was another one. I was off by four points. Houston was off by four points. I was off by four points, so you should steal this one. Okay. I got Broncos by seven and a half. All right, that's good enough. I had six and a half. I don't know why I went so low.

It's ten and a half. Oh, stop. That's another dunk. Broncos and Rams, and then I'm going to give you another one in a second. I thought the Texans looked pretty good today. We put that game on a couple of times. Their defense is all right. I don't know why they stopped playing.

I really don't. I mean, they were up. What were they up going into the fourth quarter? I think they thought the game was over after the third quarter. They just thought that was it. They didn't realize there were four quarters. Lovey forgot. It was hockey, right?

Three periods? How do we do this? Yeah, that blew me off. We're got, it's like, what is this? This is hockey, right? Three periods? How do we do this? Yeah. Yeah, that blew me off. That was a bummer because I had the money line for the Texans. Let's take a break and then we'll come back. Metrolinks and Crosslinks are reminding everyone to be careful as Eglinton Crosstown LRT train testing is in progress. Please be alert as trains can pass at any time on the tracks.

Remember to follow all traffic signals. Be careful along our tracks and only make left turns where it's safe to do so. Be alert, be aware, and stay safe. All right. I had this in the poopfecta initially, but now I think I'm moving it up to fairly watchable after what happened, after what we saw today. Panthers-Giants.

Panthers-Giants. I knew you were going to say that. Panthers-Giants is now a game I'm kind of excited for. I got the Panthers favored by one and a half at the Giants. Oh, wow. You do get it. I had two Giants favored by two and a half.

What? Giants favored by two and a half over the Panthers. Stop it. Stop it, Vegas. That's four stop-its you gave me. Come on. Should we have our stop- it parlay? We should have the stop it parlay. Giants by two and a half.

What is that line? They're America's team now, Simmons. Oh my God. They were down what was it? 17-0? 17-3? They were down big in that game. Yeah, like 13-0 I think. Or 13-0. That's what it was. Yeah. You know what's weird about the Panthers?

As gritty as they were, McCaffrey had bad numbers. Yeah. He wasn't involved in the running game at all, right? Did he have like 10 carries? I'm going to find it here. No. He really didn't do anything for them to be as close as they were. I got to say, he had a couple long plays when they needed them, like a couple 15 to 18-yard

type plays. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he broke that fumbled snap. He recovered immediately and ran forward for it. But yeah, nothing great. Two poop-fecta games. One is Browns-Jets. This is in Cleveland.

The Jets, it's pretty rough. Not going to lie. Not great. I had the Browns by 8.5 over the Jets. Ooh, you're going to get it. I said three and a half and it's six and a half. Okay. Close now.

Three, four, five, six, seven, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. We're tied. Are the Browns going to be two and oh, I put a shitload on the under eight and a half. They're going to be two and oh. Repeat after me. Months away from Watson. oh. Repeat after me. Months away from Watson. Yeah. Repeat after me.

I will not put Jacoby Brissett in a tease. I will not put Jacoby Brissett in a tease. I will not. I will not do it. I'm not going to do it. I don't like them, but who the hell starts for the Jets? Wilson better be ready. Them starting 2-0

would make it seem like there's a playoff path for them when Deshaun comes back. Because I'll tell you this, their defense is fast and even though the Panthers gouged them a couple times on a couple deep passes, but I thought their... I would say that was an

above-average defense I watched today. Their running game is still really scary. Even though you know Bursette doesn't want to throw it, the Chubb-Hunt combo is still really good. Hunt's better than everybody. I don't know why it surprises me every time. But it's like, oh, Kareem Hunt. He's very, very good.

He could be a starter on eight teams. And for that reason, they could hold on to leads, although they squandered a little bit today. But shit, they're going to be 2-0. This sucks. Lions are home for Washington. I guess this could be a fairly watchable. I just, you know, I'm going to move this to fairly watchable.

I have the Lions by three over Washington. All right, I get this. I said two and a half. It's one and a half. Ooh. That's tough. You don't know what to... I still can't believe you're talking about moving games.

Explain to me why the Patriots-Dolphins wasn't in the top eight of nine games today. Over Jacksonville-Washington. That's nuts. I'm surprised that this Lions line is telling us that Vegas thinks Washington is better than the Lions, which I did not feel after watching both of them today.

Vegas loves Carson Wentz, just in general. I think they give him an extra nod. Like when people bet on him. Sunday night, Packers-Bears. Bears coming off. Honestly, an absolutely shocking win that wasn't that shocking if you actually saw it on TV how bad the weather was. Then it was like anybody could beat anybody who weathers like this. I have the Packers by 10 over the Bears.

Oh, you son of a bitch. I had 8.5. It's 9.5. Now listen to me. Repeat after me. Yeah, that does of a bitch. I had eight and a half. It's nine and a half. Now listen to me. Repeat after me. Yeah, that does feel like a three-team. Packers over Bears. Broncos over Texans. Rams over Falcons. That does not lose

it even odds, Simmons. It just doesn't. Could there be a Packers seven-point tease? A two-team seven-pointer? With a two-teamer? A little vague? Like a little minus 130 on that one?

Would you put that with the 49ers over the Seahawks? I'm not putting Trey Lance in a tease. You don't want Lance in a tease. I know. I mean, if you have Stafford and Rodgers to not go 0-2, that's a pretty good teaser. I like one of the Monday night games as the second part of that tease. Why do we have two Monday night games

I'm a maniac with the schedules and I didn't even know about this there are three instances where there are two Monday night games this year A it's great B a pleasant surprise C I don't know why that wasn't the first Monday why is it the second Monday I don't get it at all

what was going is it because of the Emmys the Emmys are tomorrow right oh Emmys? The Emmys are tomorrow, right? Oh, is that it? The Emmys are tomorrow and one of these games is on ESPN and one is on ABC. The good ones on... Well, they're both

decent, but the later ones on ABC. What are Kimmel's chances? It's... I know you're an HBO guy and you root for John Oliver Jimmy knows that John Oliver's one more than enough Also like John Oliver's show

is a completely different show than Kimmel's show Kimmel's trying to put on a show four times a week that reacts to like everyday stuff and Oliver's doing this pre-written it's just by himself and like everything's pre-taped. Watch it.

It should be a different category. Watch what you say. I just think it should be... They're not comparable shows. I agree, but you have this tie to HBO. You got that music box thing. You had one of the three best Woodstock 99. We were one of the seven best.

All I know is we were the first and other people came well after I just think Oliver that's like should be another category oh of course but I feel the same way about like dramas where it's like whatever whatever like CSI is doing

is completely different than what White Lotus is doing right White Lotus is like a long movie that's split up into episodes and CSI is like a procedural it's's split up into episodes and CSI is like a procedural. It's every, I don't need to see a side of it now,

but you know what I mean? Those shows like those dick. I'm with you. And it's, the whole thing needs to be revamped because I, you know, it finally hit me when, what was a few years ago when fleabag one,

I'm like, Oh, this was a great show. And I loved it. And all my friends like, you got to watch it. You got to watch it, but no one's watching it.

Right. And it was like six episodes. Yeah, that was like, it might have been five. Yeah, that was it. Anyway, we got to figure it out. We need more Emmy Awards. Jimmy's probably 40 to one at this point.

Come on, just give us a win. Just once. All right, Monday night, the Bills are home. The 20-0 Bills, I call them now. The what? 20-0? The 20-0 Bills, I call them now. The what? 20-0? The 20-0 Bills. Because their fans are just out of control.

And I'm just, I'm going to go the other way. And I think the Bills are going to go 20-0. Oh, okay, good. Yeah, I just, you wore us all down. Congratulations. Bills are going 20-0. I think the line for this game is going to be Bills by eight and a half

over the Titans. Why did I guess? It's 9.5. I guess 7. But I guess the next one, exactly. So, I'm going for a tie here. By the way, this could be on a teaser, too. I don't see how that

turns out. That's it. We have Packers-Bills. Okay. A seven-point tease with those two. All right. The Packers. Rodgers hasn't lost to the Bears in 100 years.

You're right. The Bears aren't losing to the fucking Titans. That rivalry drives me nuts. They say it's the greatest, oldest rivalry. Meanwhile, you can't name three great Packers-Bears games in the last 50 years. You just can't do it. You can't. I'm with you. Packers-Bears games in the last 50 years. You just can't do it. You can't. Packers win.

Bills are just going to score forever. God, what were the good Packers-Bears games? Now I'm going to, after we finish the pot, I'm going to think about this. Look, man, you wore us all down. Sorry we were a little suspicious that you were 11-6 last

year and you blew a chance to advance to the next round in 13 seconds. I just kind of want to see it. I'm sorry. The Von Miller edition was great. No, I wasn't wrong. I wasn't wrong to just be like, hey, every single person has picked up to win the Super Bowl. Can I be a little suspicious?

Now I'm in. I'm on the bandwagon and you can have my stink all over you. These people have been banging their heads through tables for years. Just let them win. They're great. Josh Allen's unbelievable. Sean Fantasy said, Jets fan,

said something that I thought was very apropos. He was like, I had Belichick and Brady in my life for 20 years. It finally ended and here comes Josh Allen and now I have him for 15. This is 35 years of Belichick Brady

right to Josh Allen. How is this fair? And I was like, I don't have an answer. That's true. And then another 20 of Tua because he's going to be young still. No, I don't think that works. Zappy or whatever your third string name is. Last one

is Eagles Vikings. You got to hit this exactly. Otherwise, we're walking away with a tie here. It's in Philly, right? It's in Philly on ABC 830 Eastern. Great game. I have the Eagles by one and a half. Oh, good. All right.

The spread is three. So we tie nine-nine. So is Vegas telling us they think the Eagles by one and a half. Oh, good. All right. The spread is three. So we tie nine, nine. So is Vegas telling us they think the Eagles and the Vikings are just as good as one another? I guess so. Right. Or that that's not a good home. I mean, we know it's a good home field. The Vellas fans are going to be nuts. Oh.

All right. So we, so we tied. We tied nine, nine. I'm up one, oh-1 on the season. I'll take it. 1-0-1. How about that we have 0-0-1 teams right now? The 0-0-1 Colts and 0-0-1 Texans.

We're very close to having two ties, right? That Steelers, they were going to be able to say, oh, Tomlin 8-8-1. He did it again. He didn't fall under 500. Well, without Watt, I think they're going to fall under 500. Yeah. I was not...

My pants were not lit on fire by Trubisky today. I don't know how you felt. I'm with you. I wasn't either. And I think it's a risky move, letting the team decide who the captain is. Yeah. Did we talk about this? No.

The team got to vote. Yeah. No, the team got to vote on who the captain is. And it's like, oh, we like Trubisky as one of the five captains. And Tomlin's like, oh, wow. Wasn't that a coincidence? Because that's our starter. But what if they said, you know what?

Mason Rudolph's a good guy. He gives out great gifts. He has us over for barbecue. He's one of the captains. And then Tomlin's like, oh, wait a minute. Why did I give you idiots a vote? I don't know. I think it's just asking for trouble.

Let's, before we do Parent Corner, let's cover our fantasy auction on Tuesday night. Yeah. John Hamm and his partner Trevor had the hammer. And we thought he was going to vote out Elliot and Mike, who had voted him out like five, six years ago, right? Hamm showed up. He was late. Maybe it was longer than that. He was late from years ago, right? Ham showed up. He was late.

Maybe it was longer than that. He was late from some movie set or Mad Men or something. He was directing. He was directing an episode. And he's like, guys, please just hang out. I'm almost done. Imagine that. Right.

And so we waited an hour. So he zooms across to the bar. We start the draft 40 minutes late. And Ham shows up and immediately gets voted out. And he's like halfway through a beer, chugs the beer, and leaves. So we thought the guys that voted him out, 100% chance they're getting knocked out. One of them doesn't even show up, Elliot. He's just on some work. Where was he? In Scotland?

He was in Scotland. So snubs his nose at the whole process. Yeah. So he just zooms out. Ham does the setup, which you put on your Twitter feed and votes out our friend Damoshek. Because Damoshek lost the trophy. And it wasn't just that he lost the trophy.

Made no effort to replace it. No remorse. Remorseless with the whole thing. No remorse at all. No explanation given. So apparently he got rear-ended and the trophy was rear-ended with the car and that was it.

He's just like, we've all lost the trophy because I was rear-ended. Was that his defense? That was it. He thinks it was in the trunk and he was rear-ended and the car was totaled

and he never cleaned his trunk and that was that. But I like the nostalgia of it. And he's like, oh, it's stupid. What do you care? 63-year-old man like Ham, what does he care about a trophy? And I said, fantasy football was stupid. Like if you don't care about the trophy,

then you don't care about fantasy football. You could sit a year. Well, it was 25 years of names in the trophy. Yeah, it's kind of cool. We don't even remember who won all the years. I don't even, somebody might have a picture of it. I years of names on the trophy. Yeah. It's kind of cool. We don't even remember who won all the years. I don't even, somebody might have a picture of it somewhere. I have a picture of it somewhere. I even remember from like 18 years ago, the last time you won. I mean, that's how, that's how important this is. 2007. I went for, to be fair, it was 15 years

ago. I sat next to Damoshek. He poured himself a beer. Super comfortable. Had no idea he might get voted out. And there was like two-thirds of the beer left. And he was like, God damn! And just took a swig and stormed off and it was great. It's so good. I don't know why you guys, you hate the process and I love this

idea. I kind of like it now. As I get older, I kind of like it. We're in 30 fantasy leagues. Yeah, of course. It's great. This is the funniest one. Also, Ham's a professional actor, so he did the speech, and it was really good. He built momentum. It was like he really got into it.

It was great. He did everything but bring flow from progressive with him. I mean, that would have been the topper right there. Can I talk about your league? The one that you started when you got kicked out? So you want to do this. I'm curious to think what our listeners think. You got on my case because you imposed this rule at the last minute

that you want to do a super flex. Didn't impose the rule. No, this is typical Sal. You're taking half of the story. You explain what happened. Now, go ahead. Now, see how you come out looking good. I sent an email and I said, hey, the fantasy guy, the ringer fantasy guys,

Craig, Danny, and Danny, who are excellent, they're very pro-Superflex. And then Matthew Barry, who was on my podcast, very pro-Superflex. And I was like, I think we should vote on whether we want to add Superflex either a year from now or just for this draft. And I was like, the catch against adding it this year

is some teams have quarterbacks that might be beneficial. So what do you guys think? That was it. I just laid it out. All right, but then you made me look like the bad guy for pointing out the obvious and saying, yeah, the guys with the good quarterbacks are going to vote for the Superflex this year.

I said that in the email. Yeah, but then afterwards, you're like, I still think we could do this. It's not going to make a difference. I'm like, well, let's take a look at who's Superflex this year. I said that in the email. Yeah, but then afterwards, you're like, I still think we could do this. It's not going to make a difference. I'm like, well, let's take a look at who's voting yes for this year. The guy who has Mahomes, Herbert, Burrow. All want the Superflex this year. Mendocin had Hertz at $7,

so he was like, I vote yes for the Superflex. Yeah, it's like, oh, it's going to be fun. Yeah, it's fun for the guys who have the good quarterbacks. Winning is fun. And then you made me feel like a jerk for saying, Sal's no fun. We're going to have to do super flex next year. I was teasing you. You are fun.

You're very fun. How dare you? We're doing it a year from now. That's fine. That's fine. Now we're all on equal footing. And the other thing is the league, the fee went up like $12 and you're like,

bad news, the fee went... You have $190 million in your checking account. You can't cover this $12 CBS fee. Listen, I'm an equitable guy. Everybody should throw in the same amount of money. Disgraceful. Is it time for a parent corner? Let's do it.

Yeah. I feel like I'm your parent. Today's parent corner is brought to you by SimpliSafe. Every parent wants to protect their child at all costs, and that responsibility can be stressful, especially if you have more than one kid. Man, when you have two kids, you basically go from man to man his own. When you have three kids, you're in the prevent. But part of having a kid is you want to feel like, A, they're protected, and B, you're not always worried about how protected they are. So offload some of that stress

and some of that worry to SimpliSafe. Our friends, SimpliSafe, 24-7 professional monitored, advanced security for the whole home with sensors that detect intruders, fires, floods, and other threats to your family. With indoor and outdoor HD security cameras, you can keep an eye on home even when you're away from the SimpliSafe app. All right, Sal, you go. All right, I go. A couple of weeks ago was my

father's 81st birthday. And my dad is, he lives out here now in California, about 20 minutes from me, but he's a hardheaded New York Italian guy and really never left New York. And so he complains about the bagels and pizza and everything out here. And he likes his Italian cake. I don't know if your mother likes Italian. Your mother's Italian, right? Yeah. There's this Italian cake. It's like a rum cake. Yeah. People like alcohol and everything. So there's like an Italian rum cake. And it's amazing. They put alcohol in dessert. It's really crazy. Only the Italians would do this. There's like one bakery within 40 miles that makes this Italian rum cake. And they didn't make it right last year. They didn't put enough rum in there. And, uh, and so my father's like, I'm going to get the cake for my birthday. We'll go out to dinner.

I'm like, all right, let's bring the cake to the restaurant. He's like, no, no, no. We'll have the cake at my house. I'm like, oh shit. The restaurant's like 30 minutes from his house. So now we're going to have to go to his house and then the restaurant and then back to his house. So anyway, all right. So we do the restaurant. We come back, we eat the cake. He's got it set up and he's like, Jack, he says to my middle son, he's like, you liked this a lot last time we took this. And I want you to try the first piece. And by the way, it says happy birthday, dad, happy birthday, Grant. So it was pathetic. He went out there and had the writing put on his own cake. I was like, this is sad. Do you want to sing to

yourself too? What are we even doing anymore? So anyway, we start singing. He cuts the first piece for my son who doesn't want to cross my father, but takes a piece. And I could see his face. His eyes are blowing out of his head a little bit. I'm like, oh shit, what's going on with this cake? And then my father takes a second slice. He's like, oh, they got it right this time. Yeah, they definitely got it right. And then my wife and I taste it. And it was as if you poured kerosene on this cake. It had so much rum on it.

Not even just in the filling, like just in the icing and everything. I'm like, oh my God, we can't. And then we have to pretend to have like three forkfuls each. It's like, I had to get my kid's stomachs pumped in the ER that night because there was so much alcohol. What is it with these old people and their cakes and their bakery and their alcohol?

So that's that. I don't know if there's a moral or what, but we got out of there. I like that parent corner is morphing toward our parents. Yeah, you're right. Versus our kids. I didn't even think about that. Yeah.

Yeah, this is definitely an Italian thing. I don't know if the other ethnicities put this much alcohol into their desserts. Happy birthday, dad. Good Lord. Great job. A whole bottle of rum. Well, that Sambuca is also like a very Italian thing. That's a big one too.

Yeah. Yeah, and that's like basically unleaded. That's just like pure gas. You drink that and there's like basically unleaded that's just like pure gat you drink that and there's nothing fun about a zambuca there were people used to go to the feast right when jimmy would have the feast in the back parking lot and the prima note they feast the san geno and people walk around with bottles of zambuca and you just like sprint away from them like how am i going to keep this going for like two and a half hours they're going to catch me eventually yeah my parent corner isn't about either of my kids either. So my dog Murph that you know,

our pandemic dog that we got, I'm really close to him. Our whole family loves him. He's difficult. He's a pain in the ass. And one of the things that he does is if anything's on the counter, he's getting it. He's like Justin Jefferson. He's, he's pulling it down. And my dumb ass kids who you could tell my daughter like 99 times, like, don't leave your salad in the sink. Murph's just going to go eat your salad. So Murph, my daughter, her, her, uh, I guess boyfriend.

I think it's, I think they're official. I don't, I don't mean to break news. Oh, are you going to get in trouble here? No. Yeah. Whatever. I don't care. I think they're official. I don't mean to break news. Oh, you're going to get in trouble here. No, yeah, whatever. I don't care. He's over and they're making cookies and she leaves the chocolate chips out on Sunday night. And Murph eats it.

He eats a bunch of chocolate chips. Not great. So my wife is so mad because Murph has no problem. He doesn't have the greatest stomach unless it's normal dog food. And it's just like it's 100% chance he's going to probably shit somewhere. So that happens. This is a Monday night, by the way. This is a couple days before.

So he shits in the house at like 3.30. And she's furious. She's mad. It's always, she's screaming. It's always, always asleep. She can't hear. A couple days later she's furious. She's mad. She's screaming. Zoe's always asleep. She can't hear. A couple days later, same thing. There's icing. There's somebody making dessert again

and he eats a bunch of icing. So Monday, the labor day, he does this hellacious shit in the bathroom. Fortunately, in the shower.

That's fine. Some on the way, like right walking to the toilet, which my wife steps in in the middle of the night when she goes to pee. Now I hear her screaming again. Then, that's a whole thing. She's furious. Whole thing.

7.30, take him out, make coffee. He goes into the office and he poops in her office. He does a double shit in the span of four hours. And now she's so mad, I actually think she's going to put the dog in her car

and just drive off and then just come back without him. Do you laugh at all? Do you go to another room and turn? I've never, we've been together since then. I've never seen her this mad ever. And she's screaming.

And he's like, I know I did something wrong. And it's so, we have to have this whole family meeting. And she's screaming at our kids. You cannot leave anything on the counter. But you just can't do it. If this happens one more time, Murph's going to have to go. And I'm like, I think she's serious. I think Murph might go on waivers.

Murph has his own Instagram account. He's a handsome dog. I love that there's a family meeting like the Brady Bunch. Family meeting. You know, Cindy, it's very irresponsible to let the dog shit all over the bathroom and the counter. Well, she's like, I don't even blame him. I blame you.

And I was like, well, if you don't blame him, can we keep him? And she's like, no, that's not the point. And she's just like losing her mind because when she doesn't sleep, she goes nuts. So anyway, that night she decides I can't, it can't happen again. We, do you, anyone in your family take melatonin to help fall asleep? Like a little melatonin pill? Like the gummies? Yeah, a little melatonin gummy makes you a little sleepy. So my wife takes those every once in a while

and she decides I'm going to give one to Murph tonight so he'll sleep through the night. It magically works. Now, my wife and Murph each take, he takes like a half,

she takes a full one. And they take melatonin and he hasn't shit in the house in a week. Really? He's 49 away from DiMaggio. Seven straight. Wow.

Seven straight days of no shit in the house. Did DiMaggio shit in the house on the 57th day? DiMaggio shit in the house 56 straight days. Wow. And the kids have not left their food on the counter. And we just had this family breakthrough. Yeah. That came because Murph shit twice in four hours in two different rooms in the house. And we just had this family breakthrough that came because Murph shit twice

in four hours in two different rooms of the house, like big gross shits. So there you go. That's a little look at my house. Could I tell you something? I don't know how I'm going to pull this off, but I'm going to sneak into your house and put some rum cake in Murph's bowl, and that's going to be the end of you. That's like a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode. Yeah, exactly. Murph eats rum cake and he shits in seven rooms. Anyway, that's Parent Corner. Today's Parent Corner is brought to you by SimpliSafe.

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Customize the perfect system for your home in just a few minutes at simplisafe.com slash BS. All right, Paracord, really taking a step up here in 2022. Sal, what do you got to plug? Listen against all odds on the Extra Points Podcast Network. Tomorrow, we're going to have the Monday night game props,

sides, totals, first touchdowns. Harry hit a big six to one parlay. We haven't heard the end of it. And we shan't hear the end of it. So listen up tomorrow. Did Harry win in tennis? No, he didn't. Boy, that Algarve. Why don't we just ride Algarve? He was so damn

exciting. He was great. I wanted to bet him before the tournament and the odds were terrible. He was like plus 450. Something like that. Yeah, something like that. Yeah, 5-1. So I bet on Sinner who almost beat him. Sinner was good too. Those are going to be two,

they're going to be great for the next decade or so. Alcaraz gets to these shots. I don't remember anyone covering so much ground and then he smashes it too. It's not great tennis analysis, but there's one thing

getting to a cross court, but then hitting it weakly back. He's got strong returns. He's so good. He does. First of all, he's the quickest slash fastest tennis player I've ever seen. Yeah. The stuff he gets to stuff where he's in the back right side and then somehow we'll get to the net. But then as you said, like, not just like to barely get it over, like'll actually hit a winner. I've just never seen anyone cover ground like it. It's like watching Tyreek Hill or something.

Yeah. And he was terrific in the Twilight movies. I don't know. He looked like that one guy. I watched the entire Sinner-Alcaraz match. And I felt like at some point, he broke Sinner because he just was getting everything. And at some point, after playing that for five hours, I think Sinner was just like, I'm out of

moves. I don't know what else to do. This guy hits every fucking shot back. What do I do? It's got to be demoralizing. Imagine Aaron Judge is like, there's nowhere in the field he could hit it. Like, all right, I'm going to play a different sport. I thought it was the best US Open. I mean, I'm not I'm going to play a different sport. I thought it was the best U.S. Open.

I mean, I'm not the only one who has this opinion, but I thought it was the best U.S. Open. I can't even remember the last one. Like, 20 years to go back to, like, Sampras and Agassi. Well, it's a bummer that Djokovic wasn't in there, and it would have been great if Serena. Was it a bummer? I just want Alcaraz to beat him,

but I don't want him to lose to him, right? Like, I just want to see it. Yeah, the only thing is the women's side, I just want Alcaraz to beat him, but I don't want him to lose to him, right? Like, I just want to see it. Yeah. The only thing is the woman's side, once Coco got knocked out, got a little dicey. Coco and Serena could somehow have gotten to the middle of this past week. It would have been great.

Yeah, it was great. All right, Sal. Good seeing you. Good job by you. Good job by you, Billy. Thanks, Kyle Creighton, for producing, as always. Thanks to Steve Cerruti and Dylan Berkey as well thanks to Cousin Sal I will see you on Tuesday on this feed when we talk about Jonathan Charks

with me and a couple of his friends until then I want to see them on the way so I never want to say I don't have feelings with them. On the wayside, on the way so I never want to say I don't have feelings with them.